Wikiquote:Village pump

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== Help needed ==

Originally when GRP create the ED page I forgot about it, now he's doing it again, could someone help get it deleted? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:The harder you try, the more likely it is to remain, and the more people will want to look at it. It's like that old fable of trying to catch your breath by running after it.
:My advice: let it go. Let it go. Let - it - go. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:40, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} {{done}} will do that, thanks for the advice. Also, I got a message from them as well, [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/User:MarioMario456/talk3 here]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:34, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Results of Wiki Loves Folklore 2022 is out! ==

&lt;div lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;
{{int:please-translate}}
[[File:Wiki Loves Folklore Logo.svg|right|150px|frameless]]

Hi, Greetings

The winners for '''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022|Wiki Loves Folklore 2022]]''' is announced!

We are happy to share with you winning images for this year's edition. This year saw over 8,584 images represented on commons in over 92 countries. Kindly see images '''[[:c:Commons:Wiki Loves Folklore 2022/Winners|here]]'''

Our profound gratitude to all the people who participated and organized local contests and photo walks for this project.

We hope to have you contribute to the campaign next year.

'''Thank you,'''

'''Wiki Loves Folklore International Team'''

--[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 16:12, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Tiven2240@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=23454230 --&gt;

== QOTD ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; {{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|false||{{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|no||visibility: hidden;}}}}&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]] @[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt; The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:Nice find. I made a redirect for the time being. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:32, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Wow! That was fast. Also, surprised that managed to slip through. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Also, did you get pinged? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:48, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::did and got an email in my inbox. Thanks! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:49, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|koavf}} Why did you get an email? (I didn't send one) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::[[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-watchlist]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:26, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Huh? I don't see an email option there. Also, could you please deal with the massive backlog over at [[WQ:VIP]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:36, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::My bad: [[Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-echo]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:40, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:Could you not ping all the admins in your message? This left me rather confused as there was no visible ping and I wasn't involved. If something needs urgent admin attention, please go to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:18, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
:: +1. Please do not ping multitudes of people at once, and please do not ''hide'' invisible pings so nobody can see what is going on. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:15, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

== Abuse Filter feedback ==

What are you thoughts on [[User talk:Koavf#Abuse Filter|my proposed additions to the Abuse Filter]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:44, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Koavf|Ferien|Antandrus|UDScott}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:21, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I've edited the abuse filter before, but I'm not a whiz at it. Note that blocking edits outright based on some of these filters would certainly disrupt standard editing. I feel like this is probably not the best way to stop vandalism and would want to get more consensus from the community. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:28, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Which in particular concern you? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::I could easily see someone writing &quot;globally blocked&quot; and tripping an abuse filter tag or your username for that matter. Of course, some settings in the abuse filter will completely block an edit from happening and others will just log that it occurred, but either way is not desirable: stopping legitimate edits is bad and a log that is full of false positives is bad. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} In my request it says that &quot;globally blocked&quot; would only trip it if it was in that specific capitalization (all letters capitalized). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:50, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::But also &quot;globally blocked lta&quot; (any capitalization) and &quot;et al&quot;? Those are totally valid words that could be used. Also, as I recall, the edit filter takes a toll for computing on the backend, so it's best to not have many edit filter entries. I could be wrong about that, tho. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:03, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Well it says that it is only applies non-auto confirmed, so not that big of a deal. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:24, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I could easily imagine a not auto-confirmed user writing &quot;et al&quot;. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:26, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any others remaining that you are still concerned about? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:29, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::thx/thanx would probably be it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:41, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|koavf}} {{done|Fixed}}&amp;nbsp; Any more? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:52, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::I don't think so. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:02, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} So, do you support now? And can you add it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:05, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::This still needs consensus and I believe that the edit filter has a kind of high toll, so I'm still on the fence. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|koavf}} High toll in terms of what? Also, (roughly) how many for votes for a consensus for something like this? 1? 2? 3? 5? 10? 100? The entire population of the United States?{{humor inline}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:09, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::Sorry that I was unclear: I've had a hard time sleeping. What I mean is that, in my recollection, the filter needs to do a lot of computing work, since it needs to review the contents of every edit in real time, so adding a lot of filter rules is advised against. I could be wrong, again, I'm not an edit filter whiz, but I have edited it a little on a couple of projects. Plus, as I called out before, there's a kind of human toll where you may end up with false positives or blocking edits that are valid and that takes manual oversight, so it's hard to know exactly what ruels will result in the most efficient use of time. As for how many are needed for consensus, I don't have a hard number in mind, but I would like to leave this open for a few weeks and I hope get a few others giving feedback, since I'm not terribly confident about my skills with the filter. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I'm failing to see the point in even adding that to the abuse filter now you have made it public. The reason the abuse filter is private is to make sure LTAs have a hard time trying to edit. Not simply noticing &quot;oh I can't say these words so let me change my behaviour/what I say&quot;. This LTA is always trying to get past the abuse filter and sometimes succeeds. There is a reason this abuse filter is rarely discussed on-wiki. Discussing abuse filters should not be on talk pages, let alone anywhere near the village pump. -[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Propose statements for the 2022 Election Compass}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Community members in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass|propose statements to use in the Election Compass.]]

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

July 8 - 20: Community members propose statements for the Election Compass

July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements

July 23 - August 1: Volunteers vote on the statements

August 2 - 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements

August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements

August 15: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August. The Elections Committee will oversee the process, supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance team. MSG will check that the questions are clear, there are no duplicates, no typos, and so on.

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 13:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add template editor right ==

Some of the most used templates here are protected so only admins can edit, which is important for stopping vandalism, but, a lot of potential for fixes and improvements within these pages is also lost because of it. So, do you think that a separate template editor right should be added? (I'm not specifically talking about me, and by &quot;improvements&quot; I don't mean radical changes) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:30, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:I'm generally in favor of breaking off some of the admin user rights for individuals who have skills and motivation to do certain technical work (templates, interface admin) without doing things like blocking, protecting pages, deleting, etc. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:21, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:This seems like a good idea to me. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support with caveat''' - Does this differ from 'interface editor' on other projects? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} What is 'interface editor'? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: [[m:Interface_editors]][[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 15:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Yes, very different, 'template editor' only includes the right to edit protected templates. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:28, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I don't really consider myself much apart of the enwikiq community, but while I'm here just dropping a tech note. &quot;template editor&quot; currently would do nothing, for it to be useful the community would need to decide they want another protection level (normally more stringent than &quot;semiprotected&quot; and less stringent than &quot;protected&quot;); then administrators would need to actual configure this protection level on pages.  The community would need to determine how this new template editing access should be managed (normally it is &quot;by administrators&quot; technically, with varying local policy rules that you would determine), then add this group to editors that you want to be able to edit the pages that are protected at that level.  Most &quot;smaller&quot; (in terms of active editing communities) don't bother with this, the none/semi-protected/fully-protected scheme is sufficient. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:32, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose'''. Per [[Special:ProtectedPages]] There are currently 84 fully protected templates and no fully protected modules on this wiki. I do not think it is a good use of time to set up a user group, assign it to people and pages, create policies about use/abuse/granting/revocation, update everything else that comes along with big changes in user rights (templates, scripts, policy, help pages, interface messages, etc) when this new protection level will probably be used on 30-40 pages and will be probably only be granted to 1 or 2 people, it just seems like a lot of extra bureaucracy for not much benefit. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:27, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Noting here that only 12 projects have template editor rights enabled, and one of those is the testing wiki. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''Oppose''' Fundamentally tainted proposal given the proposer's propensity to propose new user groups seemingly for the sake of doing so rather than to fill any actual need. [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 03:10, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} I have had many occasions where this right would be useful for me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Pppery}} Please see [[w:WP:HYE|WP:HYE]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Is this really a valid reason to vote against something? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Any reason could be valid, but I don't think this is a very compelling reason for a no and were I closing this conversation, I don't know that I would count this as being very on-topic. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

== Add revision importer right ==

{{discussion-closed-top|Withdrawn and starting new vote}}
{{center|{{Ombox|image=&amp;nbsp;|text=&lt;h3&gt;Voting results as of July 17, 2022&lt;/h2&gt;{{Election results|alliance1=Support|aspan1=4|atotal4=3|apct1=50%|party1=Support|votes1=2|party2=Strong Support|votes2=0|party3=Weak Support|votes3=1|alliance5=Oppose|aspan5=4|atotal8=5|party5=Oppose|votes5=4|party6=Strong Oppose|votes6=0|party7=Weak Oppose|votes7=1|alliance9=Other|aspan9=4|atotal12=2|vatotal12=0|party9=Neutral|votes9=2|vatotal9=0|party10=Withdrawn/re-submitted/invalid|votes10=0|party11=Comment/question|votes11=0|color1=#20ff20|color2=#008e00|color3=#72ff72|color5=#ff0000|color6=#a80000|color7=#ff6868|color9=yellow|color10=black|color11=#efefef|valid=8|invalid=2}}}}}}

{{ping|koavf}} This is still in very early stages, but here is a proposal for a new user group containing the following rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt;
* The ability to self-revoke the right from yourself.
What do you think so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

=== Potential concerns ===

=== Comments ===

:It's not obvious to me why all of these are lumped together and it seems like straight up importer would work, if the community thought it was necessary or a bureaucrat/steward saw fit to give someone the right. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 07:22, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Well, I am posting this in hopes of getting it approved on phab. Also for the explanations:
::* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Self-explanatory.
::* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case the rate limit triggers from sending too much data.
::* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right.
::* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; If a page imported page needs to be moved without redirect.
::* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I'm fine with it. If you file a ticket at [[phab:]], they will want to see more consensus than this before changing the site preferences. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:33, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Thank you! I  needed to post this here to get consensus and to get feedback on possible improvements. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:34, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, do you think this right should be granted by stewards or bureaucrats? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:35, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't see why this should have to escalate all the way up to stewards. I think the only rights that should be like that are CheckUser and Oversight, but I know that I'm in the minority on that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|koavf}} Wait, what rights other than those two require stewards? Also, I do agree with you. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:51, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::E.g. bureaucrats cannot remove any rights other than those that admins can and the bot flag. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:17, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Support''' – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:12, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
:&lt;s&gt;'''Neutral''' - I don't know that this is really needed, but I'm not as familiar with the way things work here on Wikiquote. Maybe there's a need that isn't covered by the importers user group? Maybe that group should be modified to include these additional rights? I don't know, so I'm neutral on this proposal. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 22:15, 13 July 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; Changed to oppose.
::'''Oppose''', for several reasons.
::#I think you're going out of your way to harass anyone who is voting against (or in my case, neutral about) your proposal. Your attempts to strike Ferien's vote (or any of the votes of others whose reasons you deem &quot;invalid&quot;) are especially disturbing. How about you let people have opinions that differ from yours, and leave it at that? 
::#The gigantic warning (added and continually made more obnoxious with each edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143520 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143522 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143526 here], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143527 here], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=3143528 here] is completely unnecessary and only serves to make you look unhinged.
::#As others have pointed out, you don't seem to fully grasp how the various user rights work, and your proposal contains a lot of unnecessary rights bundled together apparently because you want all of the bundled rights and not because they serve any useful general purpose bundled together as proposed.
::#Going off the last point, you have repeatedly failed to express valid reasons how this would be useful to anyone other than yourself.
::For all these reasons (and probably a few others I forgot while typing this), I don't see any valid need for this new user group. [[User:Nihonjoe|Nihonjoe]] ([[User talk:Nihonjoe|talk]]) 08:34, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Seems okay'''; not really sure why it is needed, but I don't seen any compelling reason for not, so I guess that's a tentative support. Open to persuasion if I am missing something. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:53, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Antandrus}} Here is some more information/context:
::&lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; I regularly need to import a lot of templates (including revisions), so this would be nice.
::&lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; Useful for doing the above automatically, mass-importing pages from another wiki, or importing multiple levels deep.
::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; Useful for advanced importing.
::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; For merging older revisions into page that were not originally imported.
::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; If a page/template you are importing contains/is on the blacklist.
::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; In case you trigger the rate limit for creating too many pages.
::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Basic right. Also, similar to above.
::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; Deleting a page after it has been merged.
::&lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; Same as above.
::&lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; Security reasons as with other user groups.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:06, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:'''Oppose''' Import is quite a dangerous tool. On Simple English Wikipedia we do have the importer right but it is rarely used or given out, mainly because you have to be really trusted to use it. Seeing as import could cause so much damage and that damage isn't really reversible without admin tools, you have to have a very large amount of trust in someone to give them import, and at that point if you can trust them so much to use import properly, why not give admin so they can clear up any mess they might make as well. While this is the general attitude on simplewiki, it applies to any WMF site. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:56, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ferien}} Yes, it is a powerful tool, but why are you against this? If it is dangerous, we'll just be extra careful when giving out, like any other user right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:01, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It's a powerful tool and it's very difficult to reverse mistakes if you are not an admin. If you're not careful, you can import dozens of templates at once that may not be the ones you wanted to import, and you have to fix these pages or call an admin to delete these pages manually. I am also not voting against you as you seem to be implying below, import is already included in admin and so you are suggesting it should be given to non-admins, which I oppose for the reasons above. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} It already '''is''' given to non-admins on many other wikis. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, but not on Wikiquote. Just because many other wikis have done it wrong doesn't mean we should do it wrong too. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:10, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::{{Blockquote|Just because many other wikis have done it wrong}}
::::::I am not sure if this is humorous or not, but, if it isn't: 
::::::: This is a ridiculous comment, just because you don't agree doesn't make it &quot;wrong&quot;. Considering this has been done on dozens of wikis, it is probably a good choice for at-least some wikis. By making this comment, it makes your original vote look like it was made in bad faith.
::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:23, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, they have done it wrong ''in my opinion''. Your opinion may be different but as I said, I think the same applies for most wikis and unless you are including delete in importer or importer is only added if you have a role like one on some wikis called eliminator which has delete tools and block tools, but not protection, abuse filter etc, I do not think importer on its own is appropriate. That does not make my !vote done in bad faith. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} If you don't think this should be done on ''any'' wiki, make a request on meta, rather than voting here. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:30, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Since your vote is about generally being against the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right for non-admins and not specifically about my request, may I please strike it? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, not sure why you want to strike my vote, because that is exactly what your request is about. While it doesn't specify non-admins specifically or mention non-admins, that is exactly what you are asking for. Admins already have the import right. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:35, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I never said that importer being given on other wikis should be reversed. That wouldn't be done on meta anyway, it'd be done for individual communities as they decided to add it there. If other wikis feel that's what works for them, then that's fine. I am not really part of many other wikis' community. Only simplewiki, enwikiquote and to some extent metawiki and enwiki. However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:33, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}}
::::::::::{{Blockquote|However, what you were suggesting was that we should give non-admins importer on this wiki because it's done on other wikis, and as I disagree with the importer right being separate as a whole, I do not agree with that argument.}}
::::::::::I am suggesting it should be done &quot;because it is done on other wikis&quot;, I was just pointing that out. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 08:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, I have already read the message. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 08:52, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{ping|Ferien}} Could explain exactly ''why'' you oppose '''''the creation''''' of this right? You have already explained that it is dangerous right, in your opinion, and should be restricted, but why do you not want it created? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:04, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} What are your thoughts on this reply? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:17, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|ferien|koavf}} {{u|Koavf}}, just what I was thinking! This isn't an RfRI, this is a feature request. While I would like to have it, whether I get should be held in a vote for that, not if should exist at all. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|Koavf}} Can the vote be striken-off as invalid? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:33, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So I assume you're talking about my vote? Is there any reason why it should be struck as invalid? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:40, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|Kalki}} Could you vote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:42, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I do not see any compelling need for creating such a user group, and do see that it could develop complications and problems that would have to be sorted out in often tedious ways. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I also '''oppose''' this - for many of the reasons already articulated above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:29, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Kalki|UDScott}} Could you be more specific, so I could try to improve/re-submit this? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} Could you give me some recommendations on how to improve my proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 17:08, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::It's not a matter of making tweaks to your proposal that will suddenly convince me - I just don't think this is something we want. I would rather see more users become admins if qualified, rather than adding more roles. I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues. Bottom line is that I just don't see the value in doing this, regardless of how the proposal to do so is worded. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}}
::::::{{Blockquote|I also worry about imports being done improperly and causing other issues.}}
::::::Well, I would assume if someone is given, they would know how to import properly. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:02, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::That's quite the logical fallacy you've got going there. Just because someone has garnered enough support to be granted a role in no way means that a process will be performed correctly. Everyone who has been in the admin role has at one time or another made an error - because of a misunderstanding, a lack of technical ability, or simply a mistake. The nomination and approval process that results in one gaining a role does not remove risk of issues. I just don't see the need for this role, especially given the risk involved (and the fact that if errors are made, it is a bit tedious to correct them). I do not support this proposal - I've explained this multiple times, even though I don't believe that I need to justify my lack of support. And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:12, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} As {{u|Koavf}} said, &quot;Whether we should have importers and who should be importers are two different things. Admins have all these rights and more, so I don't see the problem.&quot; Wouldn't that also apply to this vote?
::::::::{{Blockquote|And a tip, especially as we are in active discussion: there's really no need to continually ping me every time you respond.}}
::::::::That's usually how a one-to-one discussion works.
::::::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:20, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::I am applying it to this vote - to me the risk is too high for ''any''one to have it when I don't see the need for it. And no, pinging someone and just addressing them in the text of the conversation are two different things. Imagine if we were standing at a door having a discussion. You could easily say my name and make your point - or you could ring the doorbell every time before you speak. One is standard behavior and the other is a bit annoying - see the difference? IMHO, pinging should only be used when you have received no response and wish to gain someone's attention. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::What exactly ''are'' the risks to importing? I understand how it could be used maliciously (e.g. spamming, faking edits, etc.), but I don't see how it could be destructive when used in good faith. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:32, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::I believe Ferien outlined the issues very well above. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, there already are the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; user rights. I never said what the requirements would be or how strictly it would be given out, only the user rights it would contain and how it would work. Are you against the very idea of non-developers importing? And if so, wouldn't you the rights removed entirely? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:41, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you have any suggestions as to how I could improve this proposal? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:26, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::I do not. It seems like community consensus is tilting against it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Currently the results are: 3 Support, 1 Neutral, 3 Oppose. So, even. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''oppose''' does not seem needed or useful, extremely sensitive rights --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:51, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|DannyS712}} Please explain further. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''neutral''' I was aksed to leave feedback, but I rarely edit Wikiquote, how often would this need to be used? [[User:ShakespeareFan00|ShakespeareFan00]] ([[User talk:ShakespeareFan00|talk]]) 14:54, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ShakespeareFan00}} Very often. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:56, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:According to [[Special:log/import]] since the software started logging imports in late 2007 the right has been used a grand total of 171 times, with 97 of those uses being the same person on the same day in 2019. The claim that this would be used &quot;very often&quot; appears to have no basis in the available facts. A breakdown of yearly usage stats for this right:
{{collapse|
:*2022 - 1 import
:*2021 - 16 imports
:*2020 - 2 imports
:*2019 - 98 imports
:*2018 - no imports
:*2017 - no imports
:*2016 - 1 import
:*2015 - no imports
:*2014 - no imports
:*2013 - no imports
:*2012 - no imports
:*2011 - 16 imports
:*2010 - no imports
:*2009 - no imports
:*2008 - 37 imports}}
:There are also some parts of this proposal that seem bizarre and poorly thought out to me - e.g. why are you including autoconfirmed in this group? Anyone with this right should already be autoconfirmed - this isn't something that should be given to newbies. History merging is quite possibly the most dangerous user right on the site, and should not be given to anyone except admins who have the technical ability to fix any messes it creates. In what situations is the &quot;delete-redirect&quot; right going to be useful - pages don't need to have the exact same name on all wikis, and if there's an existing template redirect in the way importing a new template over the top of it could cause a disaster. &quot;Supress redirect&quot; seems to be unrelated to the act of actually importing pages and seems to have been chucked in so you can history merge stuff? Wikiquote also already has the unused [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importers] user groups, which seem to do exactly what you're already asking for.
:I don't know if wikiquote allows IP votes in policy decisions, but I would '''Oppose''' this proposal on the basis that the import functionality is so rarely used that the current workload can easily be handled by existing admins, this particular proposal seems to be poorly thought out and bundles a load of rights together that are, at best, tangentially related to importing pages, and that user groups to allow users to import pages already exist. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:09, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::# Autoconfirmed is a basic right.
::# How is history merging the most dangerous???
::# Delete-redirect is '''required''' for this to be done properly '''most''' of the time.
::::* Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.
::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Also, '''please''' read the banner at the top. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:19, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|192.76.8.85}} Does this count as a vote or comment. (I am assuming a vote for the timebeing) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I don't know why you're directing me to read your idiotically large, obnoxious banner (made extra large and obnoxious in response to my comment!) and to ask you for technical explanations when your responses here are utter nonsense and demonstrate that you don't actually understand what you're proposing.
:::*''Autoconfirmed is a basic right.'' - yes, which is why it is utterly pointless to bundle it into an advanced user right supposed to be given to trusted members of the community.  Everyone who is granted the import right will already be autoconfirmed. There is no point giving them the right again, it makes as much sense as giving the &lt;code&gt;edit&lt;/code&gt; right to admins.
:::*''How is history merging the most dangerous???'' - because it can easily make an enormous mess and it has no &quot;undo&quot; functionality. If you accidentally merge together two pages with long co-existent history the only way to unmerge them is to delete the page then manually undelete individual revisions one at a time to separate the page histories out again. Fixing a history merge mistake can take literally hours. It is also completely unnecessary for importers to have this right because it is already built into the import function.
:::*''Delete-redirect is required for this to be done properly most of the time. Because it is needed if new revisions are added to the page that the revisions are being imported from.'' - this makes no sense at all, I actually cannot understand what you are trying to say here. The import function can directly add old revisions to an existing page, you just set the import location to the title of the extant page - you don't have to import pages to some other title then merge them together afterwards.
:::You can consider this to be a vote. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:50, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::* History merge '''is''' necessary for the follow reason:
::::** Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is an importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would cause the import to fail. So what the importer would do is:
::::**# Import the original page to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
::::**# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
::::**# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
::::**# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.
::::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:59, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::This doesn't make any kind of sense. You import the page with it's whole history, split the history via the history merge function (?), then combine the history back together, then delete the mess of pages you created? What you would end up with if you followed those instructions is page 3 with the entire edition history of persons 1 2 and 3 included?
:::::Again, this work flow is complete and utter nonsense. If you want to perform an import and merge revisions into existing page then you just have to tell the import tool to include history information, and the merge will be done for you. If you just want to import the revisions from before the history fork then make an XML dump of the revisions you want and import that. There is no need at all for this histmerge and redirect mess.
:::::Fundamentally though fixing history forking issues is not a job for page importers - it is a job for administrators who have access to the proper page deletion, undeletion and history toolbox. It makes no sense to give users some administrative tools to allow them to, via a unnecessarily convoluted methods, fix an issue that has never actually occurred to date. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:33, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I have this issue very often, that's why I proposed it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Is history merge very dangerous? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:43, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::What &quot;issue&quot; are you actually having, because &quot;import revisions from another wiki and merge them into an existing page&quot; is functionality that the import tool already has - you don't need all the extra user rights to do it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:44, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I meant merging within a wiki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:47, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::&quot;merging within a wiki&quot; is not a part of any sensible workflow for importing pages. User rights should be set up as groups of related rights that multiple people should find useful, that have similar access requirements, and generally the ability to do an action should be bundled with the ability to undo it. Creating a user group isn't an opportunity to put together a &quot;grab bag&quot; of rights that you personally think you would like. An &quot;importer&quot; right should just contain the stuff needed to import pages, i.e. &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:57, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::That why is called &quot;'''revision''' importer&quot; and not just &quot;importer&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::And what is the supposed difference between this &quot;revision importer&quot; and the regular &quot;importer&quot; right? You can already import revisions and add them to the history of pages using the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; rights. To me this looks like a combination of you not actually knowing what the import right does, a bunch of utterly bizarre suggestions (like the bundled autoconfirmed right) and you trying to make your own personal user group with just the stuff you want in it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 22:03, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::Maybe &quot;revision editor&quot; or &quot;revision manager&quot; would be a more accurate title? Also, this isn't just for me. If it was, it would also include many other rights (e.g. rollback, templateeditor). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::We already have a user group that allows certain people to edit page histories, they're called &quot;administrators&quot;. I do not think a user group which allows editors to screw up page histories but does not include the tools to fix them is a good idea. ''this isn't just for me.'' seems to be in direct contradiction to your statement below that the big issue with the existing importer groups is that ''Neither of which fully covers my needs.'' which is it - a general &quot;importer&quot; group for everyone, or a user group specifically tailored to what you want to do. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:41, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::A revision editor would be for '''revisions''', not general administrative rights. Revisions editing includes imports. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:42, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::What is the difference between &quot;general administrative rights&quot; and &quot;revision&quot; rights. They are, as far as I can tell, the same thing. Pages on wikis are nothing but a string of revisions, how is messing around with revisions a distinct operation from messing around with pages? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:50, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::I didn’t say it ''was'' used very often, I said it ''would'' be used very often, '''if implemented'''. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:15, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*I got pinged here from enwiki: enwikiquote already has local admins which have transwiki access, and if there is a good reason this community needs xmlimports the &quot;importer&quot; group could also be added via the existing group process. xmlimport can be &quot;dangerous&quot; so I'd suggest that you not add it to anyone that wouldn't otherwise qualify as an interface admin here. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:25, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:{{ping|Xaosflux}} This would only be given to users who are '''at least''' as trustworthy as interface admins. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Also, could you ask me more questions, so you could come to a final decision? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:31, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::I don't really consider myself part of the enwikiquote community - the primary governance of permissions for this project belongs to them. [[User:Xaosflux|Xaosflux]] ([[User talk:Xaosflux|talk]]) 21:36, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::{{ping|Xaosflux}} Please, very few regulars here actually vote in these. Outside feedback would be very helpful. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:38, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*:wikiquote already has [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=import importer] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers&amp;group=transwiki transwiki importer] groups, but they're not currently used. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 21:35, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
*::Neither of which fully covers my needs. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:37, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
{{discussion-closed-bottom}}

== Reverse-protection cross-(wiki?) RfC (phab) ==

What is your opinion on [[phab:T312835|this]] feature request? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:45, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD emergency ==

{{:WQT:PAA|hide=false}} QOTD is missing! {{done}} by Kalki. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:22, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: I just posted it a couple minutes ago — it is certainly NOT any extraordinary emergency. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Kalki}} Was already marking as fixed while you were leaving your comment. In-fact a got an edit conflict message. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:27, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{redlink|Redlinks}} on the front page are a pretty big deal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:07, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|koavf}} Absolutely agreed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:38, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, please stop pinging all administrators. If there is genuinely an emergency like this that needs an admin, please make your way to [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Notice about the revision importer proposal ==

Originally it was planned to be a discussion only for feedback and improvement, and not a vote since it was nowhere near done. But it accidentally turned into a vote, and as such, failed, as I could provide sufficient information about purpose or how it would work. I will be closing it shortly. I will start a new only for feedback and not voting, after I think it is sufficiently done, I will start a new vote. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Feedback on proposal for new user right ==

{{Notice box|text='''This is not a vote,''' this is simply a discussion related to improving and fixing potential issues with this proposal, users who oppose this may provide feedback on how to make it less unappealing to them, but if you are entirely against it and have no constructive feedback to offer, '''do not comment here.'''&lt;br&gt;&lt;big&gt;You may also ask questions here, '''regardless of what you think of the proposal.'''&lt;/big&gt;}}

This is a proposal for a 'revision importer' right, this would be primarily used for cross-wiki importing, though it will also be used for other purposes.

This is needed because a lot of pages and templates that exist on other wikis do not exist here. Also, this can also be used for importing lost pages from dead wikis. (e.g. simple English Wikiquote)

This right would be appointed by bureaucrats.

Here are the user rights it is planned to contain so far:

{{:User:Ilovemydoodle/proposal/usergroups/revision importer}}

Here are the reasons for each right:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory.
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Self-explanatory. Also helpful for mass-importing pages and in cases where revisions need to manually be modified.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — This is needed if a template that has been imported, has been updated on another wiki.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — If an imported page is on the title blacklist.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Potential rate limit issues. (this might not be neccessary)
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Similar to &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Same as &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Security reasons as with other rights.

=== Examples ===

Here are some examples where this right would preform better than regular importers or administrators.

==== 1 ====

Let’s say that Person 1 ''manually'' imports Page 1 to Page 2, then Person 2 (who is a revision importer) wants to properly import the revisions, but in between these two events, Person 3 has modified Page 1, this would mean that if it was imported traditionally it would either fail, or would appear to succeed, but all revisions in-between wouldn't be valid for this wiki. (e.g. if a template has to have all mentions of 'Wikipedia' changed to 'Wikiquote', this is pretty obvious, but you could imagine more subtle issues). Then, if someone didn't like certain changes that were made, and rolled-back to an earlier revision, the new versiom wouldn't be valid for this wiki. With this type of importing, the revision import could manually edit the revisions before importing, so all revision would be valid. This could be done via the following process: 

# Import the original page (from the other wiki) to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions in Page 3 (before Person 1 copied Page 1 to Page 2) into Page 2.
# Redirect Page 2 to Page 3.
# Merge all revisions before the redirect in Page 2 into Page 3.
# Use &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; to delete Page 2.
# Use &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; to move Page 3 to Page 2.

=== Comments ===

– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:07, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|AC9016|Nihonjoe|Antandrus|Koavf|Stang|ShakespeareFan00|Rubbish computer|Dave Braunschweig|Atcovi|Ottawahitech}} Thoughts? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:29, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

Why are you wasting everyone's time by repeating the exact same discussion as above which will lead to the exact same conclusion? This is an terrible idea for a user group - it is completely redundant to the existing &quot;import&quot; group, contains a load of disjointed and disconnected rights that have no business being bundled together and per the discussion above the proposer is unable to justify why this group should exist or what purpose it is supposed to serve. Going through the list of rights:
* &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;importupload&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
* &lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — Not enabled anywhere for any user group, even stewards. Has the ability to crash medium to large wikis, so the devs are unlikely to approve enabling. The proposer doesn't appear to understand what this does, it has nothing to do with templates, it's intended for content pages, when you export a page with this setting enabled it also exports all linked pages, and all pages linked to those pages and so on until you hit the depth limit.
* &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, Import can already merge page histories, extremely dangerous and can easily make a huge mess, should remain restricted to administrators.
* &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded. Not a frequently occurring issue, if a title is deemed unsuitable by the blacklist it can just be imported to a different title, pages don't need to have the same name everywhere.
* &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, no-one should be importing pages so quickly they hit the rate limit.
* &lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded - everyone even being considered for import user rights should be autoconfirmed.
* &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Unneeded, not related to importing pages, only included because the proposer apparently doesn't understand how importing pages works.
* &lt;code&gt;oathauth-enable&lt;/code&gt; — Already in the import group
The &quot;proposed&quot; user rights are not possible to implement (the database doesn't track which revisions have been imported) would not get past wmf legal (you cannot view any kind of deleted content without passing an RFA or equivalent process) and duplicate existing admin functionality.

My opinion is that the proposer here does not understand what they are proposing, how user rights work, how importing work and has no idea what this user group is supposed to be used for. I am unimpressed that rather than answering the question &quot;what is this supposed to be used for and how is it different from importer/administrator rights&quot; they have decided to shut down the discussion above and start another one on exactly the same thing. I am even more unimpressed that they have left another &quot;notice&quot; telling people that unless they are coming here to tell them how amazing their idea is they are unwelcome to comment. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
: '''This is not a vote,''' please read the header. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:55, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::Can you please point out where I voted? '''Please read my comment'''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:56, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;code&gt;override-export-depth&lt;/code&gt; — This might a problem, I will look into this. Thanks for the feedback.
:::&lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; Not frequent, but if you are importing a lot of pages, this could be an issue.
:::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; Specific cases (e.g. second account, changing accounts, bots, etc.), also there is no harm to adding this right.
:::&lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::&lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt; — Already explained.
:::– [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:03, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::You haven't &quot;explained &lt;code&gt;mergehistory&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;delete-redirect&lt;/code&gt; &lt;code&gt;supressredirect&lt;/code&gt;. You've posted a completely ridiculous workflow which would involve using them to do something the import right can already do.
::::Why would &lt;code&gt;tboverride&lt;/code&gt; be useful? What kinds of pages are you intending to import where the title would be so terrible it would hit an entry on the blacklist.
::::&lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt; you clearly do not understand what this does, I'll give you a clue, it has nothing to do with the &quot;amount of data&quot; that you're sending to the server. Another clue, import actions aren't even rate limited.
::::&lt;code&gt;autoconfirmed&lt;/code&gt; why on earth would you include a user right that the person already has? It's a complete waste of time. If for some reason you need to import pages using a brand new alt account why couldn't you do the normal thing, and assign the user the &quot;confirmed&quot; user rights?
::::You still haven't answered the fundamental question - what is this right supposed to do that the &quot;import&quot; right can't already do, and why do you need all these extra user rights to re-implement functionality that already exists. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:16, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::How do you ''modify'' a revision with regular import? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:22, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::You can use the &quot;import from a file&quot; option and edit the XML before you upload it. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:05, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::...which would require the removal and replacement of the existing revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Why would you be replacing revisions with things that didn't actually exist? The whole point of the page history is to serve as the legally required record of who contributed what content to a page - there is no situation whatsoever where it would be appropriate to replace actual revisions with stuff you made up. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Please see example 1. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:13, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::example 1 is a completely ridiculous workflow that only demonstrates that you don't actually understand how anything works. Even so, at what stage of example 1 do you need to make up revisions that don't actually exist? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Anywhere between 2 and 4. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:21, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:This user right would '''not''' allow a user to view deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:12, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::The &lt;code&gt;view-deleted-imported-revision&lt;/code&gt; would fall afoul of [[meta:Limits to configuration changes]], specifically ''Allow non-admins to view deleted stuff''. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 02:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It would only allow the viewing of content deleted using this right, which would be stored separately to admin-deleted content. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Again, you don't appear to understand how anything actually works. Mediawiki doesn't store deleted revisions separately, they're in the main revision table but flagged as deleted. Non-admins are banned from viewing deleted content, it doesn't matter how it was deleted or what user right was involved. This is a hard limit by the WMF legal department and cannot be overturned via feature requests or consensus. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:08, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::There is a way of storing it separately. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:09, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::Not in the current version of Mediawiki there isn't. Even suppressed material is stored in the main revision table with the &lt;code&gt;DELETED_RESTRICTED&lt;/code&gt; flag set. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 09:17, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::It would be stored in the main archive table, it would be differentiated using the unused field &lt;code&gt;ar_flags&lt;/code&gt; – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:20, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|koavf}} Do you think more should be addressed in this proposal? If so, what? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 01:50, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::No. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:37, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Koavf}} Sorry, I just realized this now, I meant to say &quot;more questions addressed&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:53, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Not really. I just think this is your proposal. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{ping|koavf}} Do you support it so far? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:25, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|koavf}} Also, what do you think the requirements to get this right should be? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:29, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Just asking for them and the community voting, just like with other rights. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:46, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::I don't object, but I don't have strong feelings on it. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:47, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

I'm not a frequent contributor to Wikiquote, but I was asked to comment. I don't see a problem with the overall proposal if it meets a community need. However, I would not include &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;. There's almost no legitimate reason for a human being to trigger that limit. Save that right for bots. -- [[User:Dave Braunschweig|Dave Braunschweig]] ([[User talk:Dave Braunschweig|talk]]) 16:58, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:06, 18 July 2022 (UTC)
*First of all, you should not have started another discussion. It was going fine and people were still giving their opinions on it. In fact there was a point I wanted to respond to you on but couldn't because you closed the discussion. Secondly, seeing as 50% of people opposed, and only 30% supported, I'm just curious why you are still trying to push this idea and encouraging others to not oppose it despite quite a clear result voting-wise but also consensus-wise that the community doesn't want this. And I'm especially concerned about how you have closed another discussion and opened another one where apparently if you are entirely against the proposal, you are not allowed to comment. This makes it harder to find the community consensus that seemed to quite clearly be &quot;we don't want this.&quot; --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:42, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:The main issue provided was that there wasn’t any reason to do this (because I did not include one in the original vote), so I am trying to redo this in a better way. Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:44, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::You could have always edited the reason in the original discussion, and that would have had the benefit of not freezing the discussion for everyone else who participated... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::Well, I am redoing the ''whole'' proposal, so most of those votes won't matter anymore. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:53, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::It seems like the proposal is very similar to the one you just suggested. Just because ''you'' don't think those &quot;votes&quot; don't matter anymore doesn't mean you should move to a completely different discussion on the exact same topic, with some bizarre restrictions on what I should comment and what I should not. I see no reason for you to have opened another discussion and am considering merging it so the community are more aware about what your plans are. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:46, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*:::::The original vote was poorly conceived, this is my second attempt, please don't associate this with the original. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
*::::::Sorry but I see no reason to not associate this with the original proposal. Yes, there are a couple of changes based on feedback, however your proposal is essentially the same, but instead, you have decided to discourage people opposed to it from commenting. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:13, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
*Ok seeing as my opinion is clear at this point - that giving importer to non-admins is generally a bad idea - let's focus on the problems with this proposal. Autoconfirmed is unnecessary. It shouldn't affect rate limit, for autoconfirmed users. Merge history is not needed, although I'm unsure if this is included within importer - you can just import the page again, or update it manually for situations where it's updated on one wiki but not another - which is rare. tboverride - not sure when an imported page would ever be on the title blacklist? Overall, seems as though even more unnecessary admin-level tools are going into a right where not as much trust is necessary. If a person needs this many rights, why not get admin?? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:40, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Sorry ==

For leaving feedback requests on far too many user pages, I have stopped, and will only ask users that are actually interested, and can help. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:19, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Movement Strategy and Governance News - Issue 7 ==

&lt;div style = &quot;line-height: 1.2&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:200%;&quot;&gt;'''Movement Strategy and Governance News'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; color:#404040;&quot;&gt;'''Issue 7, July-September 2022'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:120%; float:right;&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7|'''Read the full newsletter''']]&lt;/span&gt; 
----
Welcome to the 7th issue of Movement Strategy and Governance News! The newsletter distributes relevant news and events about the implementation of Wikimedia's [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Initiatives|Movement Strategy recommendations]], other relevant topics regarding Movement governance, as well as different projects and activities supported by the Movement Strategy and Governance (MSG) team of the Wikimedia Foundation.  

The MSG Newsletter is delivered quarterly, while the more frequent [[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy/Updates|Movement Strategy Weekly]] will be delivered weekly. Please remember to subscribe [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Global message delivery/Targets/MSG Newsletter Subscription|here]] if you would like to receive future issues of this newsletter.
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;margin-top:3px; padding:10px 10px 10px 20px; background:#fffff; border:2px solid #808080; border-radius:4px; font-size:100%;&quot;&gt; 

* '''Movement sustainability''': Wikimedia Foundation's annual sustainability report has been published. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A1&lt;/tvar&gt;|continue reading]])
* '''Improving user experience''': recent improvements on the desktop interface for Wikimedia projects. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A2|continue reading]])
* '''Safety and inclusion''': updates on the revision process of the Universal Code of Conduct Enforcement Guidelines. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A3|continue reading]])
* '''Equity in decisionmaking''': reports from Hubs pilots conversations, recent progress from the Movement Charter Drafting Committee, and a new white paper for futures of participation in the Wikimedia movement. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A4|continue reading]])
* '''Stakeholders coordination''': launch of a helpdesk for Affiliates and volunteer communities working on content partnership. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A5|continue reading]])
* '''Leadership development''': updates on leadership projects by Wikimedia movement organizers in Brazil and Cape Verde. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A6|continue reading]])
* '''Internal knowledge management''': launch of a new portal for technical documentation and community resources. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A7|continue reading]])
* '''Innovate in free knowledge''': high-quality audiovisual resources for scientific experiments and a new toolkit to record oral transcripts. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A8|continue reading]])
* '''Evaluate, iterate, and adapt''': results from the Equity Landscape project pilot ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A9|continue reading]])
*
'''Other news and updates''': a new forum to discuss Movement Strategy implementation, upcoming Wikimedia Foundation Board of Trustees election, a new podcast to discuss Movement Strategy, and change of personnel for the Foundation's Movement Strategy and Governance team. ([[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Movement Strategy and Governance/Newsletter/7#A10|continue reading]])

&lt;/div&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;msg-newsletter&quot;/&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 22:59, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== Announcing the six candidates for the Board of Trustees election ==

:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election/Short}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi everyone,

The Affiliate Representatives have completed their voting period. The selected 2022 Board of Trustees candidates are:

* Tobechukwu Precious Friday ([[:m:User:Tochiprecious|Tochiprecious]])
* Farah Jack Mustaklem ([[:m:User:Fjmustak|Fjmustak]])
* Shani Evenstein Sigalov ([[:m:User:Esh77|Esh77]])
* Kunal Mehta ([[:m:User:Legoktm|Legoktm]])
* Michał Buczyński ([[:m:User:Aegis Maelstrom|Aegis Maelstrom]])
* Mike Peel ([[:m:User:Mike Peel|Mike Peel]])

You may see more information about the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Results]] and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Stats|Statistics]] of this Board election.

The Affiliate organizations selected representatives to vote on behalf of the Affiliate organization. The Affiliate Representatives proposed questions for the candidates to answer in mid-June. These answers from candidates and the information provided from the Analysis Committee provided support for the representatives as they made their decision.

Please take a moment to appreciate the Affiliate Representatives and Analysis Committee members for taking part in this process and helping to grow the Board of Trustees in capacity and diversity. These hours of volunteer work connect us across understanding and perspective. Thank you for your participation.

Thank you to the community members who put themselves forward as candidates for the Board of Trustees. Considering joining the Board of Trustees is no small decision. The time and dedication candidates have shown to this point speaks to their commitment to this movement. Congratulations to those candidates who have been selected. A great amount of appreciation and gratitude for those candidates not selected. Please continue to share your leadership with Wikimedia.

What can voters do now?

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Results|Review the results of the Affiliate selection process]].

[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Announcing the six candidates for the 2022 Board of Trustees election|Read more here about the next steps in the 2022 Board of Trustee election]].

Best,

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''&lt;/translate&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 19:35, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Let's talk about the Desktop Improvements ==

[[File:Vector 2022 showing language menu with a blue menu trigger and blue menu items 01.jpg|thumb]]
Join an online meeting with the team working on the [[mw:Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements|Desktop Improvements]]! It will take place on '''26 July 2022 at [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1200 12:00 UTC] and [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?iso=20220726T1900 19:00 UTC]''' on Zoom. '''[https://wikimedia.zoom.us/j/5304280674 Click here to join]'''. Meeting ID: 5304280674. [https://wikimedia.zoom.us/u/kc2hamfYz9 Dial by your location].

[[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web/Desktop Improvements/Updates/Talk to Web|Read more]]. See you! [[User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|SGrabarczuk (WMF)]] ([[User talk:SGrabarczuk (WMF)|talk]]) 16:19, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:SGrabarczuk (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:SGrabarczuk_(WMF)/sandbox/MM/En_fallback&amp;oldid=23430301 --&gt;

== Vote for Election Compass Statements ==

:''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|You can find this message translated into additional languages on Meta-wiki.]]''
:''&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements|{{int:interlanguage-link-mul}}]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-{{urlencode:Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022/Announcement/Vote for Election Compass Statements}}&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]&lt;/div&gt;''

Hi all,

Volunteers in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2022|2022 Board of Trustees election]] are invited to [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia_Foundation_elections/2022/Community_Voting/Election_Compass/Statements|vote for statements to use in the Election Compass]]. You can vote for the statements you would like to see included in the Election Compass on Meta-wiki.

An Election Compass is a tool to help voters select the candidates that best align with their beliefs and views. The community members will propose statements for the candidates to answer using a Lickert scale (agree/neutral/disagree). The candidates’ answers to the statements will be loaded into the Election Compass tool. Voters will use the tool by entering in their answer to the statements (agree/disagree/neutral). The results will show the candidates that best align with the voter’s beliefs and views.

Here is the timeline for the Election Compass:

*&lt;s&gt;July 8 - 20: Volunteers propose statements for the Election Compass&lt;/s&gt;
*&lt;s&gt;July 21 - 22: Elections Committee reviews statements for clarity and removes off-topic statements&lt;/s&gt;
*July 23 - August 3: Volunteers vote on the statements
*August 4: Elections Committee selects the top 15 statements
*August 5 - 12: candidates align themselves with the statements
*August 16: The Election Compass opens for voters to use to help guide their voting decision

The Elections Committee will select the top 15 statements at the beginning of August


Best, 

Movement Strategy and Governance

''This message was sent on behalf of the Board Selection Task Force and the Elections Committee''

[[User:Zuz (WMF)|Zuz (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Zuz (WMF)|talk]]) 17:20, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Names for cleanup categories ==

Hello,

I'm going to start localising a load of imported clean-up templates over the next few weeks, and I wanted some feedback from the community on what terminology to use for the associated categories. Some of these clean-up templates sort main space pages into categories of the form &quot;Articles needing foo&quot;, some of them sort them into categories of the form &quot;Wikiquote pages needing foo&quot; (and some templates have been half-localised and sort them into both!). What is the preferred terminology for these kind of pages? &quot;Article&quot; or &quot;Wikiquote pages&quot;? Just thought I'd get some feedback before editing dozens of templates and making dozens of categories. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:18, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

:Content in the main namespace can be &quot;articles&quot; for sure, especially if that makes it easier. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Thanks, that's really helpful. I'll make a start localising and cleaning up these templates so they don't sort pages into nonsense like [[:Category:Wikipedia external links cleanup]].
::There's one other template I'd like some feedback on, {{tl|cleanup}}. This template seems to have been hijacked and now does a completley different function to when it was a wikiquote specific one; it used to be for articles that didn't fit into any of the specific cleanup categories, now it's a generic &quot;tag everything&quot; type template. As it stands this template has been copied from the English Wikipedia and has a lot of complexity and features that don't make sense here. As I see it there are a few ways we could move forward with this template:
::# Roll it back to the old, wikiquote specific version
::# Try to localise the current template properly (I'm not keen on this, it is way too complex and has way too much subcategorization for a project of this size).
::# Try to simplify the new template to produce something that works well on this project.
::# Remake the template in the new style, but replicating the functionality of the old clean-up template as much as possible.
::There are also a couple of features of the new style template that I'd like to get some feedback on whether they're actually useful here, to start:
::# The new template asks you to submit a reason when tagging a page for cleanup, is this required on this project and is populating [[:Creating Category:Cleanup tagged articles without a reason field]] useful?
::# Is categorising pages by namespace useful? e.g. sorting pages into &quot;Wikiquote categories needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote templates needing cleanup&quot;, &quot;Wikiquote Articles needing cleanup&quot; etc? My gut feeling is no, given that there are less than 100 pages tagged in total.
::As you might be able to tell I'm a bit lost when it comes to figuring out what to do with {{tl|cleanup}}. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:43, 30 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>g1j9glytt0w7xeasc6cis6aa1xbcvp6</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Kate Bush</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>321</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149220</id>
      <parentid>3143198</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T00:23:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>add image, move 1</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="131059" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Kate bush 1978 2 (cropped).png|thumb|Just being [[Life|alive]] &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt. &lt;br /&gt; These [[moments]] given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]]. &lt;br /&gt; Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we [[love]]…]]
'''[[w:Kate Bush|Catherine Bush]]''' [[w:Order of the British Empire|CBE]] (born [[30 July]] [[1958]]) is an [[English]] [[singer-songwriter]], [[musician]] and [[record producer]]; sister of [[John Carder Bush]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Before The Dawn Costumes.jpg|thumb|[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].]]
[[File:Kate Bush at 1986 Comic Relief (cropped).png|thumb|What's [[important]] to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.]]
[[File:Kate Bush Before The Dawn 2014.jpg|thumb|I'm really very [[happy]] if [[people]] can [[connect]] at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the [[story]] is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the [[world]].]]
[[File:Kate Bush - Hammersmith Odeon (cropped).jpg|thumb| I have [[intentions]] as a [[writer]], but people — when they’re listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song’s about something it isn’t. That doesn’t matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it’s great.]]
 
* '''[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].''' You know... they're just ... as important as... um doctors, and priests ... or maybe not as important sometimes, and yet they have this huge aura of almost god-like quality about them, just because their craft makes a lot of money. '''And at the same time it is a ''forced'' importance — you know, football stars and theatre stars — It is man-made so the press can feed off it.'''
** ''Profiles in Rock'' interview (December 1980)

* '''I was trying to say that, really, a man and a woman, can't understand each other because we are a man and a woman. And if we could actually swap each other's roles, if we could actually be in each other's place for a while, I think we'd both be very surprised! ... And I think it would lead to a greater understanding.''' And really the only way I could think it could be done was either... you know, I thought a deal with the devil, you know. And I thought, &quot;well, no, why not a deal with [[God]]!&quot; You know, because in a way it's so much more powerful the whole idea of asking God to make a deal with you. You see, for me it is still called &quot;Deal With God&quot;, that was its title. But we were told that if we kept this title that it would not be played in any of the religious countries, [[Italy]] wouldn't play it, [[France]] wouldn't play it, and [[Australia]] wouldn't play it! [[Ireland]] wouldn't play it, and that generally we might get it blacked purely because it had God in the title.
** On her song &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;, in a [http://gaffa.org/cloud/music/running_up_that_hill.html Radio 1 Classic Albums interview with Richard Skinner (26 January 1992)]

* For me to get into that creative process I have to have a sort of quiet place that I work from. And '''if I was living the life of ... somebody in the industry, as a pop star or whatever, it's too distracting. It's too to do with other people's perceptions of who you are, and what's important to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.''' &lt;br /&gt; And I think, you know, that's something that's very difficult for people who become extremely famous. I mean, I find it completely ridiculous this obsession with celebrities. ... Why are celebrities so important to people? It's absolute crap. I mean, the important people are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's lives. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much attention on something that's so shallow?
** [http://gaffa.org/reaching/iv05_bbc2_Mark_Radcliff_interview.html Interview on ''The Mark Radcliff Show'', ''BBC Radio 2'' (7 November 2005)]

* '''Now [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|all the shows are over]], it's pretty difficult to explain how I [[feel]] about it [[all]].''' It was quite a [[surreal]] journey that kept its level of intensity right from the early stages to the [[end]] of the very last show. It was also such great [[fun]]. &lt;br /&gt; It was one of the most extraordinary [[experiences]] of my [[life]]. I loved the whole process.... I was really delighted that the shows were received so positively and so warmly but the really unexpected part of it all was the audiences. Audiences that you could only ever [[dream]] of. One of the main reasons for wanting to perform live again was to have contact with that audience.They took my breath away. Every single night they were so behind us. You could feel their support from the minute we walked on stage. I just never imagined it would be possible to connect with an audience on such a powerful and intimate level; to feel such, well quite frankly, [[love]]. It was like this at every single show. &lt;br /&gt; Thank you so very much to everyone who came to the shows and became part of that shared experience. It was a truly special and wonderful feeling for all of us.
** An open letter to her fans about her [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|&quot;Before the Dawn&quot; concerts (26 August 2014 - 1 October 2014)]], in [http://www.katebush.com/news/after-dawn &quot;After the Dawn&quot; at her official &quot;FISH P∑ΩPL∑&quot; site &quot;(22 October 2014)]

* '''[[David Bowie]] had everything. He was intelligent, imaginative, brave, charismatic, cool, sexy and truly inspirational both visually and musically.''' He created such staggeringly brilliant work, yes, but so much of it and it was so good. There are great people who make great work but who else has left a mark like his? No one like him.
** Tribute to David Bowie, in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/jan/17/david-bowie-as-seen-by-deborah-harry-chris-kate-bush-stein-carlos-alomar-julien-temple-edwyn-collins &quot;David Bowie, as remembered by…&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (17 January 2016)]

* I think musicians have a responsibility ''to try and do something that is good.'' It's so hard. It's very difficult to pull something out of the hat creatively. Although I say it's their responsibility, it's really just people trying to do the best that they can.
** As quoted in [https://www.thefader.com/2016/11/23/kate-bush-interview-before-the-dawn &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)]

* '''I'm really very happy if people can connect at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the story is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the world.''' I'm sure with a lot of paintings, people don't understand what the painter originally meant, and I don't really think that matters. I just think if you feel something, that's really the ideal goal. If that happens, then I'm really happy.
** As quoted in &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)

* '''As an artist, you're never happy with anything you do. It's part of the process.''' You're never really happy. I'm certainly not. That's a good thing. It means you're always striving to do better. You hope the next piece will be better.
** As quoted in [https://www.macleans.ca/culture/arts/in-conversation-with-kate-bush/ &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)]

* '''The great thing about art on any level is that it can speak to all people if it's achieved properly.''' When I've heard a piece of music or seen a painting that moves me, it gives me something. That's such an incredibly special experience. I have intentions as a writer, but people — when they're listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song's about something it isn't. That doesn't matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it's great.
** As quoted in &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)

=== MOJO interview (2005) ===
[[File:Flag of WHO.svg|thumb|I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that [[people]] think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the [[world]].]]
:&lt;small&gt;Excerpts from an interview in ''MOJO'' magazine (3 November 2005) as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that people think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the world. '''Y'know, I'm a very strong person and I think that's why actually I find it really infuriating when I read, 'She had a nervous breakdown' or 'She's not very mentally stable, just a weak, frail little creature'.'''

* There were so many times I thought, &quot;I'll have the album finished this year, definitely, we'll get it out this year.&quot; Then there were a couple of years where I thought, &quot;I'm never gonna do this.&quot; If I could make albums quicker, I'd be on a roll wouldn't I? '''Everything just seems to take so much time. I don't know why. Time... evaporates.'''

* ''There was a story that some EMI execs had come down to see you and you'd said something like: &quot;Here's what I've been working on,&quot; and then produced some cakes from your oven. True?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;No! I don't know where that came from. I thought that was quite funny actually. It presents me as this homely creature, which is all right, isn't it?&quot;

* '''For the last 12 years, I've felt really privileged to be living such a normal life. It's so a part of who I am.''' It's so important to me to do the washing, do the Hoovering. Friends of mine in the business don't know how dishwashers work. For me, that's frightening.''' I want to be in a position where I can function as a human being. Even more so now where you've got this sort of truly silly preoccupation with celebrities. Just because somebody's been in an ad on TV, so what? Who gives a toss?'''

== Song lyrics ==

=== ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tki.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Humpback Whale underwater shot.jpg|thumb|right|Moving [[stranger]], &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not [[afraid]] to [[feel]]?]]

'''[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This first track of Bush's first album is a tribute to Bush's mime and dance instructor [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]], and opens and closes with a whale song.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Moving stranger, &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not afraid to feel?'''

[[File:Saxophone alto.jpg|thumb|right|There's something very [[real]] in how I [[feel]], honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you [[know]] it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone…]]
* [[Touch]] me, hold me. &lt;br /&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br /&gt; Try to fall for me.

* '''How I'm moved. &lt;br /&gt; How you move me &lt;br /&gt; With your beauty's potency.'''

'''The Saxophone Song'''

* '''There's something very special indeed, &lt;br /&gt; In all the places where I've seen you shine, boy.''' &lt;br /&gt; There's something very real in how I feel, honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you know it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone...

* '''You'll never know that you had all of me. &lt;br /&gt; You'll never know the poetry you've stirred in me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Of all the stars I've seen that shine so brightly, &lt;br /&gt; I've never known or felt in myself so rightly, &lt;br /&gt; It's in me...

'''[[w:Strange Phenomena (song)|Strange Phenomena]]'''
[[File:Moon rise 2-20-08-3.jpg|thumb|right|Soon it will be the phase of the [[moon]] &lt;br /&gt; When [[people]] tune in.]]

* '''Soon it will be the phase of the moon &lt;br /&gt; When people tune in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Every girl knows about the punctual blues, &lt;br /&gt; But who's to know the power behind our moves?

* '''We raise our hats to the strange phenomena. &lt;br /&gt; Soul-birds of a feather flock together.'''

[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|right| There's a hole in the [[sky]] with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite…&quot;]]
'''Kite'''

* '''There's a hole in the sky with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite, &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight!&quot;'''

* A diamond kite &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the moon, over the moon!

[[File:The Flood, by Paul Merwart.jpg|thumb|right|Suddenly I find [[myself]] &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a [[man]] I've never [[known]] before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the [[sea]], &lt;br /&gt; [[All]] his [[love]], 'til [[Eternity]].]]
'''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]'''

* '''I hear him, before I go to sleep &lt;br /&gt; And focus on the day that's been.''' &lt;br /&gt; I realise he's there, &lt;br /&gt; When I turn the light off and turn over.

* '''Nobody knows about my man. &lt;br /&gt; They think he's lost on some horizon. &lt;br /&gt; And suddenly I find myself &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a man I've never known before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the sea, &lt;br /&gt; All his love, 'til Eternity.'''

* Ooh, he's here again, &lt;br /&gt; The man with the child in his eyes.

'''[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]'''
[[File:Johann Heinrich Füssli 015.jpg|thumb|right|Ooh, it gets [[dark]]! It gets [[lonely]], &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you…]]

* '''Out on the wiley, windy moors &lt;br /&gt; We'd roll and fall in green. &lt;br /&gt; You had a temper like my jealousy: &lt;br /&gt; Too hot, too greedy. &lt;br /&gt; How could you leave me, &lt;br /&gt; When I needed to possess you? &lt;br /&gt; I hated you. I loved you, too.'''

* Bad dreams in the night. &lt;br /&gt; They told me I was going to lose the fight, &lt;br /&gt; Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering &lt;br /&gt; Wuthering Heights.

* Heathcliff, it's me — Cathy.

* '''Ooh, it gets dark! It gets lonely, &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you. &lt;br /&gt; I pine a lot. I find the lot &lt;br /&gt; Falls through without you.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm coming back, love. &lt;br /&gt; Cruel Heathcliff, my one dream, &lt;br /&gt; My only master.

* Ooh! Let me have it. &lt;br /&gt; Let me grab your soul away.

'''James And The Cold Gun'''

* Ooh, James, are you selling your soul to a cold gun?

* You're a coward, James. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from humanity. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from reality. &lt;br /&gt; It won't be funny when they rat-a-tat-tat you down.

[[File:James Barry 001.jpg|thumb|right| Nobody else can [[share]] this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The [[glorious]] [[Unity|union]].]]
'''Feel It'''

* '''Nobody else can share this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The glorious union. &lt;br /&gt; Well it could be love, &lt;br /&gt; Or it could be just lust, &lt;br /&gt; But it will be fun. &lt;br /&gt; It will be wonderful.'''

* God, but you're beautiful, aren't you? &lt;br /&gt; Feel your warm hand walking around. &lt;br /&gt; I won't pull away. &lt;br /&gt; My passion always wins. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-moving in. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-tuning in. &lt;br /&gt; Synchronise rhythm now.

'''Oh To Be In Love'''
[[File:A Love for the Arts by Delacorr.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] the colours look brighter [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new…]]
* '''I could have been anyone. &lt;br /&gt; You could have been anyone's dream. &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to choose our moment?''' &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to make me feel that? &lt;br /&gt; Why did you make it so unreal?

* '''Oh! To be in love, &lt;br /&gt; And never get out again.'''

* All the colours look brighter now. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new. &lt;br /&gt; Slipping into tomorrow too quick, &lt;br /&gt; Yesterday always too good to forget. &lt;br /&gt; '''Stop the swing of the pendulum! Let us through!'''

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Bacchante (1894).jpg|thumb|right| My [[eyes]] were shining on the [[wine]], and your aura…]]
'''L'Amour Looks Something Like You'''

* You came out of the night, &lt;br /&gt; Wearing a mask in white colour. &lt;br /&gt; My eyes were shining &lt;br /&gt; On the wine, and your aura.

* You look like an [[Angels|angel]], &lt;br /&gt; Sleeping it off at a station. &lt;br /&gt; Were you only passing through?

* I'm dying for you just to touch me, &lt;br /&gt; And feel all the energy rushing right up-a-me. &lt;br /&gt; L'amour looks something like you.

[[File:Whirling Dervishes, Konya, Turkey, RMO.jpg|thumb|right|I [[love]] the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the [[beauty]] of rare [[innocence]].]]
[[File:John William Waterhouse - The Crystal Ball.JPG|thumb|right| You don't [[need]] no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We [[humans]] got it [[all]], we perform the [[miracles]].]]
'''[[w:Them Heavy People|Them Heavy People]]'''

* '''Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me...'''

* '''I must work on my mind. For now I realise: &lt;br /&gt; Everyone of us has a heaven inside.'''

* Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. &lt;br /&gt; Them heavy people help me.

* '''They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.''' &lt;br /&gt; They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]]. &lt;br /&gt; They build up my body, break me emotionally. &lt;br /&gt; It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!

* '''I love the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the beauty of rare innocence. &lt;br /&gt; You don't need no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.'''

'''Room For The Life'''

* Hey there, you lady in tears, &lt;br /&gt; Do you think that they care if they're real, woman? &lt;br /&gt; They just take it as part of the deal.

* '''Like it or not, we were built tough, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.'''

* No, we never die for long, &lt;br /&gt; While we've got that little life &lt;br /&gt; To live for, where it's hid inside.

* Like it or not, we keep bouncing back, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.

[[File:Sonnenfinsternis 1999-08-11 1.jpg|thumb|right|I will come [[home]] again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The [[sun]] and the [[moon]] meet on yon hill.]]
'''The Kick Inside'''

* '''I'm giving it all in a moment or two. &lt;br /&gt; I'm giving it all in a moment, for you.'''

* This kicking here inside &lt;br /&gt; Makes me leave you behind. &lt;br /&gt; No more under the quilt &lt;br /&gt; To keep you warm. &lt;br /&gt; Your sister I was born. &lt;br /&gt; You must lose me like an arrow, &lt;br /&gt; Shot into the killer storm.

* You and me on the bobbing knee. &lt;br /&gt; Didn't we cry at that old mythology he'd read! &lt;br /&gt; I will come home again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The sun and the moon meet on yon hill.

=== ''[[w:Lionheart (album)|Lionheart]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_lh.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Fractal nevit 75.png|thumb|right|I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood…]]
'''[[w:Symphony in Blue|Symphony in Blue]]'''

* '''I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood...'''

[[File:The Realm of Rane - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.]]
* When that [[feeling]] of meaninglessness sets in, &lt;br /&gt; Go blowing my [[mind]] on [[God]]: &lt;br /&gt; The [[light]] in the [[dark]], with the neon arms, &lt;br /&gt; The meek He seeks, the beast He calms, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[good]] [[soul]] department.

* '''My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.'''

* '''The more I think about [[sex]], the better it gets.''' &lt;br /&gt; Here we have a [[purpose]] in [[life]]: &lt;br /&gt; Good for the [[blood]] circulation, &lt;br /&gt; Good for releasing the tension, &lt;br /&gt; The root of our [[reincarnations]].

'''In Search Of Peter Pan'''
[[File:Peter Pan 1915 cover 2.JPG|thumb|right|When I am a [[man]] I will be an astronaut, and find [[Peter Pan]].]]

* I no longer see a [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; I've been told when I get older &lt;br /&gt; That I'll [[understand]] &lt;br /&gt; It all. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not sure if I want to.

* '''They took the [[game]] right out of it. &lt;br /&gt; When I am a man &lt;br /&gt; I will be an astronaut, &lt;br /&gt; And find [[Peter Pan]].'''

'''[[w:Wow (song)|Wow]]'''
[[File:Double slit x-ray simulation monochromatic blue-white.png|thumb|right|We [[know]] [[all]] our lines so well… &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many [[times]]…]]

* '''We're [[all]] [[alone]] on the stage [[tonight]].''' &lt;br /&gt; We've been told; we're not [[afraid]] of you. &lt;p&gt; We [[know]] all [[Speech|our lines]] so well, ah-ha, &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many times: &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] and [[Repetition|time again]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Poetry|Line and line again]].

* You say we're fantastic, &lt;br /&gt; But still we don't head the bill. &lt;br /&gt; Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! ''Unbelievable!''

* Ooh, yeah, you're amazing! &lt;br /&gt; We think you are really cool. &lt;br /&gt; We'd give you a part, my love, &lt;br /&gt; But you'd have to play the fool.

'''Don't Push Your Foot On The Heartbrake'''

* Emma's come down. &lt;br /&gt; She's stopped the light &lt;br /&gt; Shining out of her eyes.

* '''Oh, come on, you've got to use your flow. &lt;br /&gt; You know what it's like, and you know you want to go.''' &lt;br /&gt; Don't drive too slowly. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your blues where your shoes should be. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your foot on the heartbrake.'''

'''Oh England My Lionheart'''
[[File:Spitfire-under.jpg|thumb|right|Oh! [[England]], my [[Lion]][[heart]]! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one [[kiss]] in apple-blossom.]]

* Oh! [[England]], my Lionheart! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one kiss in apple-blossom. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one wish, and I'd be wassailing &lt;br /&gt; In the orchard, my English rose, &lt;br /&gt; Or with my shepherd, who'll bring me home.

'''Fullhouse'''
[[File:Kate Bush (15312486456).jpg|thumb|[[Remember]] [[yourself]]. &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight…]]
* '''I am my [[enemy]]''' &lt;br /&gt; Mowing me over, &lt;br /&gt; And towing the light away.

* '''[[Remember]] [[yourself]].''' &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight...
** &quot;Remember yourself&quot; was a motto of [[G. I. Gurdjieff]], whose ideas were an early influence on Bush.

* Surely by now I should know &lt;br /&gt; I can control &lt;br /&gt; My highs and my lows &lt;br /&gt; By questioning all that I do, &lt;br /&gt; Examining every move, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get back to the rudiments.

'''In The Warm Room'''

* In the warm room &lt;br /&gt; She'll touch you with your Mamma's hand. &lt;br /&gt; You'll long to kiss those red lips, &lt;br /&gt; But when you do &lt;br /&gt; It'll feel like kicking a habit.

'''Kashka From Baghdad'''

* Kashka from Baghdad &lt;br /&gt; Lives in [[sin]], they say, &lt;br /&gt; With another man, &lt;br /&gt; But no one knows who.

* At night &lt;br /&gt; They're seen &lt;br /&gt; [[Laughing]], &lt;br /&gt; Loving. &lt;br /&gt; They know &lt;br /&gt; The way &lt;br /&gt; To be &lt;br /&gt; [[Happy]].

'''Coffee Homeground'''

* Well, you won't get me with your Belladonna — in the coffee, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me with your aresenic — in the pot of tea, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me in a hole to rot — with your hemlock &lt;br /&gt; On the rocks.

* Maybe you're lonely, &lt;br /&gt; And only want a little company, &lt;br /&gt; But keep your recipes &lt;br /&gt; For the rats to eat, &lt;br /&gt; And may they rest in peace with coffee homeground.

'''[[w:Hammer Horror (song)|Hammer Horror]]'''
[[File:Victor Hugo-Hunchback.jpg|thumb|right| I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me…]]

* You stood in the belltower, &lt;br /&gt; But now you're gone. &lt;br /&gt; So who knows all the sights &lt;br /&gt; Of Notre Dame?

* Hammer Horror, Hammer Horror, &lt;br /&gt; Won't leave me alone. &lt;br /&gt; The first time in my life, &lt;br /&gt; I leave the lights on &lt;br /&gt; To ease my soul.

* I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me. &lt;br /&gt; So all I want to do is forget &lt;br /&gt; You, friend.

=== ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' (1980) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_nfe.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Old love letters.jpg|thumb|She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do…]] 

'''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'''

* '''She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do: &lt;br /&gt; A pseudonym to fool him. &lt;br /&gt; She couldn't have made a worse move.'''

[[File:Jean Béraud L'escrimeuse.jpg|thumb|right|Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his [[wife]] when she was [[beautiful]].]]
* She sent him scented letters, &lt;br /&gt; And he received them with a strange delight. &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife &lt;br /&gt; But how she was before the tears, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was before the years flew by, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was when she was beautiful.

* Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife when she was beautiful.

'''Delius (Song Of Summer)'''
:&lt;small&gt;A song about the composers [[w:Frederick Delius|Frederick Delius]] and [[w:Eric Fenby|Eric Fenby]].&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rmh1.jpg|thumb|To be sung of a [[summer]] [[night]] on the [[water]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water.]] 

* Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ''Song of Summer'' in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ...in...in...in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; ...in his hand.

* To be sung of a summer night on the water. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; Hmm. &lt;br /&gt; Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; In B, Fenby!&quot;


'''Blow Away (For Bill)'''
:&lt;small&gt;Dedicated to Bill Duffield, Bush's lighting engineer, who died in a stage accident. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.]] 

* One of the band told me last night &lt;br /&gt; That [[music]] is all that he's got in his [[life]]. &lt;br /&gt; So where does it go? &lt;br /&gt; Surely not with his [[soul]]. &lt;br /&gt; Will all of his licks and his R'n'B &lt;br /&gt; Blow away?

* Our engineer had a different idea &lt;br /&gt; From people who nearly died but survived, &lt;br /&gt; Feeling no fear of leaving their bodies here, &lt;br /&gt; And went to a room that was soon full of visitors.

* '''Put out the light, then, put out the light.''' &lt;br /&gt; Vibes in the [[sky]] invite you to dine. &lt;br /&gt; Dust to dust, &lt;br /&gt; Blow to blow.

'''All We Ever Look For'''
[[File:Nefertiti 30-01-2006.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] we ever [[look]] for — a little bit of you.]]

* '''The whims that we're weeping for &lt;br /&gt; Our parents would be beaten for.'''

* Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.

* '''[[All]] we ever look for — a [[god]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — ooh, a [[drug]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a great big hug.''' &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you, too. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for, &lt;br /&gt; But we never do score.

'''Egypt'''
[[File:SphinxGiza.jpg|thumb|right| Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound [[lonely]] [[tonight]].]]
[[File:King_Tut_Ankh_Amun_Golden_Mask.jpg|thumb|right|Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].]]
* '''Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound lonely tonight.''' &lt;br /&gt; The sands run red &lt;br /&gt; In lands of the Pharoahs. &lt;br /&gt; Their symmetry gets right inside me.

* Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].

* My Pussy Queen &lt;br /&gt; Knows all my [[secrets]]. &lt;br /&gt; I'll never fall in love again.

'''The Wedding List'''
[[File:Bride1929.jpg|thumb|right|We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!]]

* Somehow this was it, I knew. &lt;br /&gt; Maybe fate wants you dead, too: &lt;br /&gt; We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

* All I see is Rudi. &lt;br /&gt; I die with him, again and again. &lt;br /&gt; And I'll feel good in my revenge. &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna fill your head with lead &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

'''Violin'''
[[File:Maitelouis1.jpg|thumb|right|Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over…]]
* Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over, &lt;br /&gt; Over the quavers, drunk in the bars, &lt;br /&gt; Out of the realm of the orchestra...

* Get the bow going! &lt;br /&gt; Let it scream to me: &lt;br /&gt; Violin! Violin! Violin!

* Give me the [[w:Banshee|Banshees]] for B.V.s.
** B.V.s : backing vocals.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - A Young Girl Defending Herself Against Eros (1880).jpg|thumb|right| I cannot sit and let something happen I'll [[regret]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he [[scares]] me! There's a [[man]] behind those [[eyes]].]]
'''The Infant Kiss'''
:&lt;small&gt;Ths song was inspired by the film ''[[w:The Innocents (film)|The Innocents]]'' (1961), itself derived from ''[[w:The Turn of the Screw|The Turn of the Screw]]'' (1898) by [[Henry James|Henry James]]. Bush also wrote and sang a French version of this song: &quot;''Un Baiser d'enfant''&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I say good night-night &lt;br /&gt; I tuck him in tight. &lt;br /&gt; But things are not right.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''What is this?'' An infant kiss &lt;br /&gt; That sends my body tingling?

* His little hand is on my heart. &lt;br /&gt; He's got me where it ''hurts'' me. &lt;br /&gt; Knock, knock. Who's there in this baby? &lt;br /&gt; You know how to work me. &lt;br /&gt; '''All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.'''

* I cannot sit and let &lt;br /&gt; Something happen I'll regret. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he scares me! &lt;br /&gt; There's a man behind those eyes. &lt;br /&gt; I catch him when I'm bending.

* I want to smack but I hold back. &lt;br /&gt; I only want to [[touch]]. &lt;br /&gt; But I must stay and find a way &lt;br /&gt; To stop before it gets too much! &lt;br /&gt; All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.

[[File:High Wood cemetery, France.jpg|thumb|right| What a [[waste]] of [[Army]] [[dreamers]]…]]
'''[[w:Army Dreamers|Army Dreamers]]'''

[[File:Operation_Upshot-Knothole_-_Badger_001.jpg|thumb|right|We've lost our [[chance]]. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.]]
* '''What could he do? &lt;br /&gt; Should have been a father. &lt;br /&gt; But he never even made it to his twenties. &lt;br /&gt; What a waste — &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, what a waste of &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers.'''

* Oh, Jesus Christ, he wasn't to know, &lt;br /&gt; Like a chicken with a fox, &lt;br /&gt; He couldn't win the war with ego. &lt;br /&gt; Give the kid the pick of pips, &lt;br /&gt; And give him all your stripes and ribbons. &lt;br /&gt; Now he's sitting in his hole, &lt;br /&gt; He might as well have buttons and bows.

[[File:Ivy King - distance.jpg|thumb|right| I [[love]] my Beloved… [[All]] and everywhere, Only the [[fools]] blew it…]]
'''[[w:Breathing (song)|Breathing]]'''

* '''Outside &lt;br /&gt; Gets inside &lt;br /&gt; Through her skin.'''

* '''Breathing my mother in, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing my beloved in''', &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing her nicotine, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing the fall-out in, &lt;br /&gt; Out in, out in, out in, out in.

* '''We've lost our chance. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.'''

* '''I love my &lt;br /&gt; Beloved, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; All and everywhere, &lt;br /&gt; Only the fools blew it. &lt;br /&gt; You and me &lt;br /&gt; Knew life itself is &lt;br /&gt; Breathing...'''

[[File:Holygrail.jpg|thumb|right| I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.]]

=== [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] (1982) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_td.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Sat in Your Lap|Sat in Your Lap]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song incorporates a bit of Bush's eccentric wordplay: [[w:Sat (Sanskrit)|Sat]] is a [[w:Hinduism|Hindu]] and [[w:Sikhism|Sikh]] term for [[w:Truth|Truth]], or [[w:Knowledge|Knowledge]] related to the concept of [[w:Dharma#Developing_conceptions|Dharma]].&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Some say that [[knowledge]] is something that you never have. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that knowledge is something sat in your lap. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that [[heaven]] is [[hell]]. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that hell is heaven.'''

* I must admit, just when I think I'm king,
:: I just begin.

* '''I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.'''

'''[[w:There Goes a Tenner|There Goes a Tenner]]'''
[[File:Combinatoria.jpg|thumb|right|The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]…]]

* '''The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]. &lt;br /&gt; The [[signal]] has been [[given]].'''

* My excitement &lt;br /&gt; Turns into fright. &lt;br /&gt; All my words fade. &lt;br /&gt; What am I gonna say? &lt;br /&gt; Mustn't give the game away.

[[File:Mills N° 23 MkIII-2.jpg|thumb|right|Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I [[love]] [[life]]!]]
'''Pull Out The Pin'''

* Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I love life!

* He's big and pink, and not like me. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no light. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no [[reason]] for the [[fighting]]...

[[File:Divina - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].]]
'''[[w:Suspended in Gaffa (song)|Suspended in Gaffa]]'''

* '''Out in the [[garden]] &lt;br /&gt; There's half of a heaven''', &lt;br /&gt; And we're only bluffing. &lt;br /&gt; We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; '''Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].'''

* I don't know why I'm crying. &lt;br /&gt; Am I suspended in Gaffa? &lt;br /&gt; '''Not until I'm ready for you, &lt;br /&gt; Not until I'm ready for you &lt;br /&gt; Can I have it all.'''

* '''I won't open boxes &lt;br /&gt; That I am told not to. &lt;br /&gt; I'm not a Pandora. &lt;br /&gt; I'm much more like &lt;br /&gt; That girl in the mirror.''' &lt;br /&gt; Between you and me &lt;br /&gt; She don't stand a chance of getting anywhere at all.

* Mother, where are the [[angels]]? I'm scared of the changes.
** Whispered in a childlike voice.

'''Leave It Open'''

* '''My [[door]] was never locked, &lt;br /&gt; Until one day a trigger come cocking. &lt;br /&gt; (But now I've started learning how,) &lt;br /&gt; I keep it shut.'''

* Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; Harm in us, but power to arm. &lt;br /&gt; Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; ''Leave it open!''

* '''''We let the weirdness in.'''''
[[File:Australie 2 389.jpg|thumb|right|Coming in with the golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; In the [[morning]]. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.]]
[[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|thumb|See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].]] 
'''[[w:The Dreaming (song)|The Dreaming]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song deals with the Australian traditions of [[w:Dreamtime|&quot;The Dreaming&quot;]] &lt;/small&gt;

* '''''See the [[light]] ram through the gaps in the land.'' &lt;br /&gt; Many an Aborigine's mistaken for a [[tree]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Til you near him on the motorway &lt;br /&gt; And the tree begin to breathe.'''

* ''''Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; In the morning. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.'''

* '''The [[civilised]] keep alive &lt;br /&gt; The territorial [[war]]...''' &lt;br /&gt; Erase the race that claim the place &lt;br /&gt; And say we dig for ore, &lt;br /&gt; Or dangle [[devils]] in a bottle &lt;br /&gt; And push them from the ''pull of the Bush.''

* '''See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].'''

'''[[w:Night of the Swallow (song)|Night Of The Swallow]]'''
[[File:Hirundo rustica young male spring NRM.jpg|thumb|right|In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the [[guilty]] — to set them [[free]].]]

* If you go, I'll let the law know, &lt;br /&gt; And they'll head you off when you touch the ground. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, please, don't go through with this. &lt;br /&gt; I don't like the sound of it.

* '''In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the guilty — to set them free. &lt;br /&gt; Wings fill the window, &lt;br /&gt; And they beat and bleed.''' &lt;br /&gt; They hold the sky on the other side &lt;br /&gt; Of borderlines.

* ''Give me a break! &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, let me try! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to show &lt;br /&gt; For my miserable life! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to take! &lt;br /&gt; Would you break even my wings, &lt;br /&gt; Just like a swallow?''

[[File:Tribute in Light Memorial September 9 2004.jpg|thumb|right| Only tragedy allows the release of [[love]] and [[grief]] never normally seen…]]
'''All The Love'''

* '''We needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love us too. &lt;br /&gt; We wait for your move.'''

* '''Only tragedy allows the release &lt;br /&gt; Of love and grief never normally seen.''' &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weep, &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weak, &lt;br /&gt; But I know I have shown &lt;br /&gt; That I stand at the gates alone.

* '''I needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love me too. &lt;br /&gt; I wait for your move.'''

* '''All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love we should have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love you could have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love...'''

[[File:Weiss with mother and wife.jpg|thumb|right|With a [[kiss]] &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the [[key]] &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.]]
'''Houdini'''

* The tambourine jingle-jangles. &lt;br /&gt; The medium roams and rambles. &lt;br /&gt; Not taken in, &lt;br /&gt; I break the circle. &lt;br /&gt; I want this man &lt;br /&gt; To go away now.

* '''With a kiss &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the key &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.''' &lt;br /&gt; With your spit &lt;br /&gt; Still on my lip, &lt;br /&gt; You hit the water.

* '''Rosabel believe, &lt;br /&gt; Not even eternity &lt;br /&gt; Can hold Houdini! &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Rosabel, believe!&quot; '''

'''Get Out Of My House'''

* I will not let you in. &lt;br /&gt; I face towards the wind. &lt;br /&gt; I change into the Mule.

[[File:Lightning02.jpg|thumb|right| There is [[thunder]] in our [[hearts]]…]]

=== ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' (1985) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_hol.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)]]'''

* '''It doesn't hurt me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to feel how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me.

* '''And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with God, &lt;br /&gt; And I'd get him to swap our places, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that road, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that building.'''

* '''You don't want to hurt me, &lt;br /&gt; But see how deep the bullet lies. &lt;br /&gt; Unaware I'm tearing you asunder. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.'''

* '''Is there so much hate for the ones we love? &lt;br /&gt; Tell me, we both matter, don't we?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me won't be unhappy.

* '''C'mon, baby, c'mon darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let me steal this [[moment]] from you [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; C'mon, [[Angels|angel]], c'mon, c'mon, darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let's exchange the [[experience]], oh...'''

* If I only could &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill &lt;br /&gt; With no problems...

[[File:Muir Wood10.JPG|thumb|right| ''It's in the [[trees]]! It's coming!'']]
'''[[w:Hounds of Love (song)|Hounds Of Love]]'''

* ''It's in the trees! &lt;br /&gt; It's coming!''

* I found a [[fox]] &lt;br /&gt; Caught by [[dogs]]. &lt;br /&gt; He let me take him in my [[hands]]. &lt;br /&gt; His little [[heart]], &lt;br /&gt; It beats so fast, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm ashamed of running away &lt;br /&gt; From nothing real — &lt;br /&gt; I just can't deal with this, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm still afraid to be there, &lt;br /&gt; Among your hounds of [[love]]...

* '''Do you know what I really need? &lt;br /&gt; I need love love love love love, yeah!'''

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right| They look down at the ground, missing. But I never go in [[now]]. I'm looking at the Big [[Sky]]…]]
'''[[w:The Big Sky (song)|The Big Sky]] '''

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|You never really [[understood]] me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.]]
* '''They look down &lt;br /&gt; At the ground, &lt;br /&gt; Missing. &lt;br /&gt; But I never go in [[now]].''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm looking at the Big Sky.

* '''You never really understood me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.'''

* This [[cloud]], this cloud — &lt;br /&gt; Says &quot;Noah, &lt;br /&gt; C'mon and build me an Ark.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And if you're coming, jump, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause &lt;br /&gt; We're leaving with the Big Sky.

'''Mother Stands For Comfort'''

* She knows that I've been doing something wrong, &lt;br /&gt; But she won't say anything.

* Am I the cat that takes the bird? &lt;br /&gt; To her the hunted, not the hunter.

* Mother stands for comfort. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will hide the murderer. &lt;br /&gt; Mother hides the madman. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will stay mum.

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen…]]
'''[[w:Cloudbusting|Cloudbusting]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song is sung from the perspective of [[Wilhelm Reich]]'s son Peter, whose memoir ''A Book of Dreams'' inspired it.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I still dream of Orgonon.''' &lt;br /&gt; I wake up crying. &lt;br /&gt; You're making rain, &lt;br /&gt; And you're just in reach, &lt;br /&gt; When you and sleep escape me.

* '''I just know that something good is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen.'''

* '''On top of the world, &lt;br /&gt; Looking over the edge, &lt;br /&gt; You could see them coming.''' &lt;br /&gt; You looked too small &lt;br /&gt; In their big, black car, &lt;br /&gt; To be a threat to the men in power.'''

* I hid my yo-yo &lt;br /&gt; In the garden. &lt;br /&gt; I can't hide you &lt;br /&gt; From the government. &lt;br /&gt; Oh, God, Daddy — &lt;br /&gt; I won't forget...

[[File:Aivazovsky,_Ivan_-_The_Ninth_Wave.jpg|thumb|right|Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.]] 
[[File:PortoCovoJan07-4.jpg|thumb|right|If they find me racing [[wikt:white horse|white horses]], they'll not take me for a buoy…]]
==== The Ninth Wave ====

'''And Dream Of Sheep'''

* '''Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.''' &lt;br /&gt; My [[face]] is all lit up, &lt;br /&gt; My face is all lit up.

* '''If they find me racing [[wikt:white horses|white horses]], &lt;br /&gt; They'll not take me for a buoy.''' &lt;br /&gt; Let me be weak, &lt;br /&gt; Let me [[sleep]] &lt;br /&gt; And [[dream]] of [[sheep]].

* Ooh, their breath is warm &lt;br /&gt; And they smell like sleep, &lt;br /&gt; And they say they take me home. &lt;br /&gt; Like poppies heavy with seed &lt;br /&gt; They take me deeper and deeper.

'''Under Ice'''

* '''There's something moving &lt;br /&gt; Under, under the ice, &lt;br /&gt; Moving under ice, &lt;br /&gt; Through water, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get out of the cold water.''' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Something, someone — help them. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot;

[[File:Wickiana4.jpg|thumb|right|[[Look]] who's here to see you!]]
[[File:Joan of arc interrogation.jpg|thumb|right|''I question your [[innocence]]…'']]
'''Waking The Witch'''

* '''Wake up!'''...''You must wake up!''

* &quot;Don't you know you've kept him waiting?&quot; &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Look who's here to see you!&quot;

* ''I question your [[innocence]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird! &lt;br /&gt; ''She's a [[witch]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; There's a stone around my leg.

* ''What say you, good people?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird...

* &quot;Get out of the waves! Get out of the water!&quot;

'''Watching You Without Me'''

* '''You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying to you.'''

* I should have been home &lt;br /&gt; Hours ago, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here...

[[File:G W Russell Bathers.jpg|thumb|Can't you [[see]] where [[memories]] are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the [[water]] like a [[laughing]] girl. &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] in her [[eyes]] is spawning [[past]] [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; One with the [[ocean]] and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding [[all]] the [[love]] that waits for you here. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
'''Jig Of Life'''
:&lt;small&gt;Co-written with her brother [[John Carder Bush]] &lt;/small&gt; 
[[File:Boelge stor.jpg|thumb|right|Catch us [[now]] for I am your [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; A [[kiss]] on the [[wind]] and we'll make the land. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
[[File:Waves forming at beach.jpg|thumb|right|For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will [[dance]] with me in the sunlit pools. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]]

* '''I'll be sitting in your [[mirror]]. &lt;br /&gt; [[Now]] is the place where the crossroads meet. &lt;br /&gt; Will you look into the [[future]]?'''

* Never, never say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To my part of your life.

* '''&quot;This [[moment]] in time,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said.) &lt;br /&gt; It doesn't belong to you,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said,) &lt;br /&gt; It belongs to me''', &lt;br /&gt; And your little boy and your little girl, &lt;br /&gt; And the one hand clapping: &lt;br /&gt; Where on your palm is my little line, &lt;br /&gt; When you're written in mine &lt;br /&gt; As an old memory?

* Can't you see where memories are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the water like a laughing girl. &lt;br /&gt; Time in her eyes is spawning past life, &lt;br /&gt; One with the ocean and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding all the love that waits for you here. &lt;br /&gt; Catch us [[now]] for I am your future. &lt;br /&gt; A kiss on the wind and we'll make the land. &lt;br /&gt; Come over here to where When lingers, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting in this empty world, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting for Then, when the lifespray cools. &lt;br /&gt; '''For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will dance with me in the sunlit pools. &lt;br /&gt; We are of the going water and the gone. &lt;br /&gt; We are of water in the holy land of water &lt;br /&gt; And all that's to come runs in &lt;br /&gt; With the thrust on the strand.'''
** This is the portion of &quot;Jig of Life&quot; which was actually written as well as spoken by Kate's brother [[John Carder Bush]].

[[File:Shelfcloud.jpg|thumb|right|I was there at the [[birth]], Out of the cloudburst, The head of the [[tempest]]…]]
'''Hello Earth'''

* Watching [[storms]] &lt;br /&gt; Start to form &lt;br /&gt; Over [[America]]. &lt;br /&gt; Can't do anything. &lt;br /&gt; Just watch them swing &lt;br /&gt; With the [[wind]] &lt;br /&gt; Out to [[sea]].

* '''I was there at the [[birth]], &lt;br /&gt; Out of the cloudburst, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[tempest]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Murderer! &lt;br /&gt; Murder of calm...

[[File:Iridescent fog.jpg|thumb|right|The [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Begin]] to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to [[speak]].]]
[[File:Fog over Baffin Bay IMG 9533.jpg|thumb|right| D'you [[know]] what? &lt;br /&gt; I [[love]] you better [[now]].]]
'''The Morning Fog'''

* '''The light &lt;br /&gt; Begin to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to speak. &lt;br /&gt; D'you know what? &lt;br /&gt; I love you better now.'''

* '''I'll kiss the ground.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my mother, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my father, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my loved one, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my brothers &lt;br /&gt; How much I love them.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Dawn (1881).jpg|thumb|right| Stepping out… To where the [[water]] and the [[earth]] caress…]]

=== ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' (1989) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tsw.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''The Sensual World'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJc64xncBt4 Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''He said I was a flower of the mountain, yes, &lt;br /&gt; But now I've powers o'er a woman's body, yes. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out of the page into the sensual world. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out... &lt;br /&gt; To where the water and the earth caress &lt;br /&gt; And the down on a peach says mmh, Yes...'''
** &quot;The Sensual World&quot;; The lyrics of this song are derived from the last lines of ''[[Ulysses (novel)|Ulysses]]'' by [[James Joyce]]. Kate had initially wanted to set much of Molly Bloom's Soliloquy to music, just as Joyce had written it, but when the Joyce estate refused, she altered it enough as to not infringe on copyright. As she explained it in an interview: &quot;The song was saying''' &quot;Yes, Yes&quot; '''and when I asked for permission they said''' &quot;No! No!&quot;.'''

[[File:Sunset Solar Halo at Keys View of Joshua Tree National Park.jpg|thumb|right|Do I look for those millionaires like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would when I could wear the sunset?]]
* Do I look for those millionaires &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would &lt;br /&gt; When I could wear the sunset?

* '''You don't need [[words]] — just one [[kiss]], then another.'''

* '''Stepping out, off the page, into the sensual world.''' &lt;br /&gt; And then our arrows of [[desire]] rewrite the [[speech]]...

* I said, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; But not yet, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; Mmh... Yes.

'''[[w:Love and Anger|Love and Anger]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ipM__nt8fM Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''It lay buried here. It lay deep inside me. &lt;br /&gt; It's so deep I don't think that I can [[speak]] about it. &lt;br /&gt; It could take me [[all]] of my [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; But it would only take a [[moment]] to &lt;br /&gt; Tell you what I'm [[feeling]], &lt;br /&gt; But I don't [[know]] if I'm ready yet. '''

* '''Take away the [[love]] and the [[anger]], &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of [[hope]] holding us together. &lt;br /&gt; Looking for a [[moment]] that'll never happen, &lt;br /&gt; [[Living]] in the gap between [[past]] and [[future]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Take away the [[stone]] and the timber, &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of rope won't hold it together.

* If you can't tell your sister, &lt;br /&gt; If you can't tell a priest, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause it's so deep you don't think that you can speak about it &lt;br /&gt; To anyone, &lt;br /&gt; Can you tell it to your [[heart]]? &lt;br /&gt; Can you find it in your heart &lt;br /&gt; To let go of these feelings...

* We could be like two strings beating, &lt;br /&gt; Speaking in [[sympathy]]...

* We're building a house of the future together. &lt;br /&gt; (What would we do without you?)

* You might not, not think so now, &lt;br /&gt; But just you wait and see — someone will come to [[help]] you.

[[File:Fog-towerbridge.700px.jpg|thumb|right| I can't let you go. If I let you go, you slip into the fog…]]
'''The Fog'''

* '''Just like a photograph, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up. &lt;br /&gt; Just like a station on the radio, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up.'''

* Just like a feeling that you're sending out, &lt;br /&gt; I pick it up. &lt;br /&gt; But I can't let you go. &lt;br /&gt; '''If I let you go, &lt;br /&gt; You slip into the fog...'''

* '''This love was big enough for the both of us. &lt;br /&gt; This love of yours was big enough to be frightened of. &lt;br /&gt; It's deep and dark, like the water was, &lt;br /&gt; The day I learned to swim.'''

* '''Is this love big enough to watch over me? &lt;br /&gt; Big enough to let go of me &lt;br /&gt; Without hurting me, &lt;br /&gt; Like the day I learned to swim?'''

'''Reaching Out'''

:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Be_ITyTMzc YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''See how the [[child]] reaches out [[instinctively]] &lt;br /&gt; To [[feel]] how [[fire]] will feel. &lt;br /&gt; See how the man reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For what he cannot have.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''The pull and the push of it [[all]].''

* Reaching out for that hand to hold. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star that explodes. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for Mama.

* See how the [[flower]] leans instinctively &lt;br /&gt; Toward the [[light]]. &lt;br /&gt; See how the [[heart]] reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For no [[reason]] but to [[touch]]...

'''Heads We're Dancing'''
[[File:Jane Kelly. Psychosis 1.jpg|thumb|You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started…]]
[[File:Hitler, Speer y Breker en París, 23 de junio de 1940.jpg|thumb|Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] ]]

* You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started, &lt;br /&gt; When you walked up to me and you said, &lt;br /&gt;&quot;Hey, heads we dance.&quot;
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9NaEOoOLU4 Audio at YouTube]

* They say that the [[Devil]] is a charming man. &lt;br /&gt; And just like you I bet he can [[dance]].

* Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; A picture of you, a picture of you in uniform &lt;br /&gt; Standing with your head held high &lt;br /&gt; Hot down to the floor but it couldn't be you &lt;br /&gt; It couldn't be you, it's a picture of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]

[[File:Imac G5 20inch.jpg|thumb|right|I [[need]] deeper [[understanding]]. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding…]]
'''Deeper Understanding'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wDDxM1F4xY YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''As the people here grow colder I turn to my [[computer]] &lt;br /&gt; And spend my evenings with it &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[friend]]. '''

* ''Hello, I know that you've been feeling tired. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Hello, I know that you're unhappy. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding….''

* I turn to my computer like a friend. &lt;br /&gt; '''I need deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding...'''

'''Between A Man And A Woman'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orBTGQep1Ts YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Picture couple pregnant woman.jpg|thumb|right|He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the [[truth]] lies somewhere in the middle.]]

* He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

* '''Where [[angels]] fear to tread, &lt;br /&gt; You go rushing in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Stay out of this &lt;br /&gt; You must not interfere &lt;br /&gt; Don't you see this is &lt;br /&gt; Between a man and a woman?

'''Never Be Mine'''

* I look at you and see &lt;br /&gt; my life that might have been &lt;br /&gt; your face just ghostly in the smoke. &lt;br /&gt; They're setting fire to the cornfields &lt;br /&gt; as you're taking me home. &lt;br /&gt; The smell of burning fields &lt;br /&gt; will now mean you and here.

* '''This is where I want to be. &lt;br /&gt; This is what I need. &lt;br /&gt; This is where I want to be, &lt;br /&gt; But I know that this will never be mine.'''

* I want you as the [[dream]], &lt;br /&gt; Not the [[reality]]. &lt;br /&gt; That clumsy good-bye [[kiss]] could fool me. &lt;br /&gt; But looking back over my shoulder &lt;br /&gt; at you [[happy]] without me.

* The thrill and the hurting &lt;br /&gt; Will never be mine.

'''Rocket's Tail'''
[[File:010712 STS104 Atlantis launch glow.jpg|thumb|right|I saw only a stick on [[fire]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Alone]] on its [[journey]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Home]] to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.]]

* I thought you were crazy, wishing such a thing. &lt;br /&gt; I saw only a stick on fire, &lt;br /&gt; Alone on its journey &lt;br /&gt; Home to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.

* I am a rocket &lt;br /&gt; On fire. &lt;br /&gt; Look at me go, with my tail on fire...

'''This Woman's Work'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TupvVpxY_U Video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I know you have a little [[life]] in you yet. &lt;br /&gt; I know you have a lot of [[strength]] left.'''

* '''I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. &lt;br /&gt; I should be [[hoping]], but I can't stop thinking &lt;br /&gt; Of all the things I should've said, &lt;br /&gt; That I never said. &lt;br /&gt; All the things we should've done, &lt;br /&gt; That we never did. &lt;br /&gt; All the things I should've [[given]], &lt;br /&gt; But I didn't.'''

'''Walk Straight Down The Middle'''

* We're calling out for Middle Street.

* '''We hang on to every line, &lt;br /&gt; And walk straight down the middle of it.'''

* He thought he was gonna [[die]], &lt;br /&gt; But he didn't. &lt;br /&gt; She thought she just couldn't cope, &lt;br /&gt; But she did. &lt;br /&gt; '''We thought it would be so hard, &lt;br /&gt; But it wasn't... &lt;br /&gt; It wasn't easy, though!'''

=== ''[[w:The Red Shoes (album)|The Red Shoes]]'' (1993) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_trs.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Rubberband Girl|Rubberband Girl]]'''

* '''See those [[trees]] &lt;br /&gt; Bend in the wind &lt;br /&gt; I feel they've got a lot more sense than me &lt;br /&gt; You see I try to resist...'''

* A rubberband bouncing back to life &lt;br /&gt; A rubberband bend the beat &lt;br /&gt; If I could learn to give like a rubberband &lt;br /&gt; I'd be back on my feet...


'''[[w:And So Is Love|And So Is Love]]''' - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLHLPbEQ-hE Performance on ''Top of the Pops'' (1994)] 

* '''We let it in &lt;br /&gt; We give it out &lt;br /&gt; And in the end &lt;br /&gt; What's it all about? &lt;br /&gt; It must be love.'''

* '''We used to say &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ah Hell, we're young&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But now we see that life is sad &lt;br /&gt; ''And so is love.'' '''

* What really matters? &lt;br /&gt; It's all we've got &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that enough?

* '''All for love &lt;br /&gt; Just for the sake of love.'''

[[File:Pomegranate02 edit.jpg|thumb|right| What am I singing? A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].]]
'''[[w:Eat the Music|Eat the Music]]'''

* '''Split me open &lt;br /&gt; With devotion &lt;br /&gt; You put your hands in &lt;br /&gt; And rip my heart out &lt;br /&gt; ''Eat the music.'' '''

* [[All]] is revealed &lt;br /&gt; Not only women bleed.

* '''What am I singing? &lt;br /&gt; A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].'''

'''[[w:Moments of Pleasure|Moments of Pleasure]]'''

* I think about us diving &lt;br /&gt; Diving off a rock, into another moment...

*&lt;p&gt;'''Just being alive &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt &lt;br /&gt; These moments given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]].'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we love &lt;br /&gt; To those who will survive...'''&lt;/p&gt;

* And I can hear my mother saying &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Every old sock meets an old shoe&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that a great saying?

* Here come the Hills of Time

'''Song of Solomon'''

* '''The [[Song]] of [[Solomon]] &lt;br /&gt; The song of everyone &lt;br /&gt; Who walks the path &lt;br /&gt; Of the solitary [[heart]].'''

* '''The [[soul]] cries out &lt;br /&gt; Hear a [[woman]] singing &lt;br /&gt; Don't want your bullshit, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Just want your [[sexuality]]. &lt;br /&gt; Don't want excuses, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Write me your [[poetry]] in motion &lt;br /&gt; Write it just for me, yeah &lt;br /&gt; And sign it with a [[kiss]].

* I'll do it for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll be the [[w:Rose of Sharon|Rose of Sharon]] for you &lt;br /&gt; Ooh I'll come in a [[hurricane]] for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll do it for you...

[[File:The Golden Bough - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]]…]]
[[File:Franz von Stuck 003.jpg|thumb|right| Gabriel before me, Raphael behind me, [[Michael (archangel)|Michael]] to my right, Uriel on my left side… In the [[circle]] of [[fire]]…]]
'''Lily'''

* ''Oh thou, who givest sustenance to the [[universe]] &lt;br /&gt; From whom all things proceed &lt;br /&gt; To whom all things return &lt;br /&gt; Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]] &lt;br /&gt; As we journey to thy sacred feet''
** Recited by &quot;Lily&quot;

* I said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Lily, Oh Lily I'm so afraid &lt;br /&gt; I fear I am walking in the Veil of Darkness&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And she said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Child, take what I say &lt;br /&gt; With a pinch of salt &lt;br /&gt; And protect yourself with fire&quot;

* Gabriel before me &lt;br /&gt; Raphael behind me &lt;br /&gt; [[Michael (archangel)]] to my right &lt;br /&gt; Uriel on my left side &lt;br /&gt; In the [[circle]] of [[fire]].

'''[[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]]'''
[[File:Solistin Jovana Ivanovic.jpg|thumb|right|She said &quot;just take off my red shoes &lt;br /&gt; Put them on and your [[dream]]'ll come [[true]]…]]

* '''With no [[words]], with no [[song]] &lt;br /&gt; You can [[dance]] the [[dream]] with your body on &lt;br /&gt; And this curve, is your [[smile]] &lt;br /&gt; And this cross, is your [[heart]] &lt;br /&gt; And this line, is your path &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always thought it would be &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be no illusion &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always dreamt about it &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be really happening to ya...'''

* Feel your hair come tumbling down &lt;br /&gt; Feel your feet start kissing the ground &lt;br /&gt; Feel your arms are opening out &lt;br /&gt; And see your eyes are lifted to [[God]] &lt;br /&gt; '''With no words, with no song &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna dance the dream &lt;br /&gt; And make the dream come true...'''

[[File:St Michael Berlin Engel Statue Kiss.JPG|thumb|right| I don't [[know]] if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there…]]
'''Top of the City'''

* '''I don't know if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there.''' &lt;br /&gt; These streets have never been paved with gold.

* It's no good for you baby &lt;br /&gt; It's no good for you now &lt;br /&gt; Keep looking up for the ladder.

* I don't mind if it's dangerous &lt;br /&gt; I don't mind if it's raining &lt;br /&gt; Take me up to the top of the city &lt;br /&gt; And put me up on the [[Angels|angel]]'s shoulders.

'''Constellation of the Heart'''
[[File:Herz aus Feuer.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]] &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the [[heart]].]]

* We take all the telescopes &lt;br /&gt; And we turn them inside out &lt;br /&gt; And we point them away from the big [[sky]]. &lt;br /&gt; Put your eye right up to the glass. &lt;br /&gt; Here we'll find the constellation of the [[heart]]. &lt;br /&gt; '''Steer your [[life]] by these [[stars]] &lt;br /&gt; On the unconditional [[chance]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]]. &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the heart.'''

* Well we think you'd better wake up capt'n &lt;br /&gt; There's something happen'n up ahead &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it before.

* Who said anything about it hurting? &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be beautiful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be wonderful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be paradise. 

* Ooh find me the man with the ladder &lt;br /&gt; And he might lift me up to the stars. 

* ''Without the pain there'd be no learning &lt;br /&gt; Without the hurting we'd never change.''

'''Big Stripey Lie'''
[[File:Louvre renommée mr1824.jpg|thumb|right|Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.]]

* '''All young gentle dreams drowning &lt;br /&gt; In life's grief &lt;br /&gt; Can you hang on to me?'''

* '''Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to. &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.'''

* Hey all you little waves run away. &lt;br /&gt; Mmm... run away.

'''Why Should I Love You?'''
[[File:Vittore Carpaccio 075.jpg|thumb|right|Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.]]

* This chapter says &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Put it out of your mind&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, give it time....

* The fine purple &lt;br /&gt; The purest gold &lt;br /&gt; The red of the Sacred Heart &lt;br /&gt; The grey of a ghost &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;L&quot; of the lips are open &lt;br /&gt; To the &quot;O&quot; of the Host &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;V&quot; of the velvet &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;E&quot; of my eye &lt;br /&gt; '''The eye in wonder &lt;br /&gt; The eye that sees &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;I&quot; that loves you.'''

* Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.

'''You're the One'''

* '''Let's [[change]] things. &lt;br /&gt; Let's danger it up. &lt;br /&gt; We're [[crazy]] enough. &lt;br /&gt; I just can't take it.

* You're the only one I want...

* I know where I'm going. &lt;br /&gt; But I don't want to leave. &lt;br /&gt; I just have one problem &lt;br /&gt; We're best friends, yeah? &lt;br /&gt; We tied ourselves in knots &lt;br /&gt; Doing cartwheels 'cross the floor &lt;br /&gt; Just forget it alright.

=== ''[[w:Aerial (album)|Aerial]]'' (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_aerial.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

==== A Sea of Honey (Disc 1) ====
[[File:Elvis Presley 1970.jpg|thumb|right|[[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a [[happy]] man?]]
'''[[w:King of the Mountain (song)|King of the Mountain]]'''

* '''Could you see the aisles of women? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see them screaming and weeping? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the [[storm]] rising? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the guy who was driving? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb higher and higher? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb right over the top?'''

* [[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a happy man? &lt;br /&gt; In the snow with ''[[w:Citizen_Kane#.22Rosebud.22|Rosebud|]]'' &lt;br /&gt; And King of the Mountain.

* Another Hollywood waitress &lt;br /&gt; Is telling us she's having your baby &lt;br /&gt; And there's a rumour that you're on ice &lt;br /&gt; And you will rise again someday. '''

[[File:PP 1280x1024.jpg|thumb|right|Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive [[nature]] and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For [[numbers]]…]]
'''π'''

* '''Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive nature and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For numbers &lt;br /&gt; And a complete infatuation with the calculation &lt;br /&gt; Of π.'''

[[File:Pi-unrolled slow.gif|thumb|right|He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]]…]]
* He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]] &lt;br /&gt; 3.14159 26535897932 3846 264 338 3279...

'''Bertie'''

* '''Here comes the sunshine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes that son of mine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes the everything &lt;br /&gt; Here's a song and a song for him.

* You bring me so much joy &lt;br /&gt; And then you bring me &lt;br /&gt; More joy...

'''Mrs. Bartolozzi'''

* Oh and the waves are going out &lt;br /&gt; Oh and the waves are coming in &lt;br /&gt; Out of the corner of my eye &lt;br /&gt; I think I see you standing outside &lt;br /&gt; But it's just your shirt &lt;br /&gt; Hanging on the washing line &lt;br /&gt; Waving it's arm as the wind blows by &lt;br /&gt; And it looks so alive &lt;br /&gt; Nice and white &lt;br /&gt; Just like it's climbed right out &lt;br /&gt; of my washing machine...

'''How To Be Invisible'''

* '''I found a book on how to be invisible &lt;br /&gt; You take a pinch of keyhole, &lt;br /&gt; And fold yourself up, &lt;br /&gt; You cut along the dotted lines. &lt;br /&gt; You think inside out. &lt;br /&gt; You're invisible.'''

[[File:Joan-of-Arc-Paris.jpg|thumb|right| [[Joan of Arc|Joanni]] wears a golden cross and she looks so [[beautiful]] in her armour…]]
'''[[Joan of Arc|Joanni]]'''

* '''All the banners stop waving &lt;br /&gt; And the flags stop flying &lt;br /&gt; And the silence comes over &lt;br /&gt; Thousands of soldiers...'''

* '''Who is that girl? Do I know her face?'''

* Joanni, Joanni wears a golden cross &lt;br /&gt; And she looks so beautiful in her armour &lt;br /&gt; Joanni, Joanni blows a kiss to God &lt;br /&gt; And she never wears a ring on her finger...

'''A Coral Room'''

* There's a city, draped in net &lt;br /&gt; Fisherman net &lt;br /&gt; And in the half light, in the half light &lt;br /&gt; It looks like every tower &lt;br /&gt; Is covered in webs &lt;br /&gt; Moving and glistening and rocking &lt;br /&gt; It's babies in rhythm &lt;br /&gt; As the spider of time is climbing &lt;br /&gt; Over the ruins.

* Put your hand over the side of the boat &lt;br /&gt; What do you feel?

* My mother and her little brown jug &lt;br /&gt; It held her milk &lt;br /&gt; And now it holds our memories...

==== A Sky of Honey (Disc 2) ====
[[File:Sturnella neglecta2.jpg|thumb|right|We're gonna be [[laughing]] about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be [[dancing]] around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so [[good]] [[now]].]]

'''Prelude'''

* Mummy... &lt;br /&gt; Daddy... &lt;br /&gt; The day is full of birds &lt;br /&gt; Sounds like they're saying words...
** Spoken by Bush's son, Berty.

'''Prologue'''

* We're gonna be laughing about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be dancing around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good now.

* It's gonna be so good now &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good &lt;br /&gt; Can you see the lark ascending?

* Oh will you come with us &lt;br /&gt; To find the song of the oil and the brush?

'''An Architect's Dream'''
[[File:Psyche et LAmour.jpg|thumb|right|Watching the painter [[painting]] &lt;br /&gt; And all the [[time]], the [[light]] is [[changing]] &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting…]]

* Watching the painter painting &lt;br /&gt; And all the time, the light is changing &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting &lt;br /&gt; That bit there, it was an accident &lt;br /&gt; But he's so pleased &lt;br /&gt; It's the best mistake, he could make &lt;br /&gt; And it's my favourite piece. &lt;br /&gt; It's just great.

'''The Painter's Link'''
[[File:Blackbird-sunset-03.jpg|thumb|right|Who [[knows]] who wrote that [[song]] of [[summer]], &lt;br /&gt; That [[blackbirds]] [[sing]] at dusk…]]

* So all the colours run &lt;br /&gt; See what they have become &lt;br /&gt; A wonderful sunset

'''Sunset'''

* '''Who knows who wrote that song of summer, &lt;br /&gt; That blackbirds sing at dusk, &lt;br /&gt; This is a song of colour, &lt;br /&gt; Where sands sing in crimson, red and rust, &lt;br /&gt; Then climb into bed and turn to dust. '''

* Every sleepy light &lt;br /&gt; Must say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To the day before it dies &lt;br /&gt; In a sea of honey &lt;br /&gt; A sky of honey &lt;br /&gt; Keep us close to your heart &lt;br /&gt; So if the skies turn dark &lt;br /&gt; We may live on in &lt;br /&gt; Comets and stars.

'''Somewhere In Between'''

* '''It was just so beautiful. 

* '''This is where the shadows come to play twixt the day &lt;br /&gt; And night &lt;br /&gt; Dancing and skipping &lt;br /&gt; Along a chink of light

* Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The waxing and the waning wave &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; What the song and the silence says &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The ticking and the tocking clock &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in a dream between &lt;br /&gt; Sleep and waking up &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; Breathing out and breathing in &lt;br /&gt; Like twilight is neither night nor morning

* Not one of us would dare to break &lt;br /&gt; The silence &lt;br /&gt; And, oh how we have longed &lt;br /&gt; For something that would &lt;br /&gt; Make us feel so...

'''Nocturn'''


* Could be in a dream &lt;br /&gt; Our clothes are on the beach &lt;br /&gt; These prints of our feet &lt;br /&gt; Lead right up to the sea &lt;br /&gt; No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; '''No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; We stand in the Atlantic &lt;br /&gt; We become panoramic...'''

* The stars are caught in our hair &lt;br /&gt; The stars are on our fingers &lt;br /&gt; A veil of diamond dust &lt;br /&gt; Just reach up and touch it &lt;br /&gt; '''The sky's above our heads &lt;br /&gt; The sea's around our legs &lt;br /&gt; In milky, silky water &lt;br /&gt; We swim further and further...'''

[[File:Sunrise-Daytona-Beach-FL.jpg|thumb|right|Oh the [[dawn]] has come &lt;br /&gt; And the [[song]] must be [[sung]] &lt;br /&gt; And the [[flowers]] are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of [[language]] is this?]]
* We dive deeper and deeper &lt;br /&gt; Could be we are here &lt;br /&gt; Could be in my [[dream]] &lt;br /&gt; It came up on the horizon &lt;br /&gt; Rising and rising &lt;br /&gt; In a [[sea]] of honey, a [[sky]] of honey.

[[File:SwansCygnus olor edit2.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] of the [[birds]] are [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.]]
* Bright, white coming alive jumping off of the aerial &lt;br /&gt; All the time it's a changing, like now...

* '''All the time it's a changing &lt;br /&gt; And all the dreamers are waking.'''

'''Aerial'''

* '''Oh the dawn has come &lt;br /&gt; And the song must be sung &lt;br /&gt; And the flowers are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of language is this?'''

* I can't hear a word you're saying &lt;br /&gt; Tell me what are you singing &lt;br /&gt; In the sun

* '''All of the birds are laughing &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.'''

=== ''[[w:50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'' (2011) ===
[[File:Metatrons cube.svg|thumb|right|I was born in a cloud… &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.]]
[[File:Heart in snow.jpg|thumb|right|We've been in love forever.]]&lt;!-- [[File:Ka symbol.svg|thumb|right|Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.]] --&gt;
[[File:Cloches du soir.jpg|thumb|right|I can see [[angels]] standing around you. &lt;br /&gt; 
They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it.]]
[[File:Sq door handle.jpg|thumb|right| There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.]]

'''Snowflake''' 

* '''I was born in a cloud... &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Look up and you'll see me. &lt;br /&gt; You know you can hear me. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

* '''I am ice and dust. I am sky.''' &lt;br /&gt; I can see horses wading through snowdrifts. &lt;br /&gt; My broken hearts, my fabulous dances. &lt;br /&gt; My fleeting song, fleeting. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

'''[[w:Wild Man (Kate Bush song)|Wild Man]]'''

* Lying in my tent &lt;br /&gt; I can hear your cry &lt;br /&gt; Echoing round the mountainside &lt;br /&gt; You sound lonely

* [[w:Yeti|You]] were [[playing]] in the [[snow]] &lt;br /&gt; You were banging on the [[doors]] &lt;br /&gt; You climbed up on the roof &lt;br /&gt; Roof of the [[world]] &lt;br /&gt; You were pulling up the rhododendrons &lt;br /&gt; Loping down the mountain &lt;p&gt; They want to know you &lt;br /&gt; They will hunt you down &lt;br /&gt; Then they will kill you &lt;br /&gt; Run away, run away... &lt;p&gt; We found your footprints in the snow &lt;br /&gt; We brushed them all away... &lt;p&gt; You're the [[wild]] man.
'''Snowed In at Wheeler Street'''

* Excuse me I'm sorry to bother you, &lt;br /&gt; But don't I know you? &lt;br /&gt; There's just something about you. &lt;br /&gt; Haven't we met before? &lt;p&gt; '''We've been in love forever.'''

* When we got on top of the hill, &lt;br /&gt; We saw Rome burning. &lt;br /&gt; I just let you walk away. &lt;br /&gt; I've never forgiven myself.

* And I'd never know where you'd gonna be next &lt;br /&gt; But I'd know that you'd surprise me. 

'''Among Angels''' 

* Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.

* '''Aren't we all the same? In and out of doubt. &lt;br /&gt; I can see [[angels]] standing around you.''' &lt;br /&gt; They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it. &lt;br /&gt; And they will carry you o'er the walls. &lt;br /&gt; If you need us, just call.

* '''There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.''' &lt;br /&gt; You might feel it and just not show it.

=== Singles and rarities ===

[[File:Mourning angel.jpg|thumb| [[All]] the [[worlds]] they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier…]]
'''Disbelieving Angel''' (unreleased demo, c. 1973)
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/song/tda.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''So much for all the [[prayers]] you've [[learned]]. &lt;br /&gt; They are no help to basic needs. &lt;br /&gt; And all the worlds they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier.'''

* I feel so sorry for you, &lt;br /&gt; Believing because they control. &lt;br /&gt; And of all the guardian [[angels]] &lt;br /&gt; They chose me to save your soul! &lt;br /&gt; '''Oh, I'm just trying to explain, &lt;br /&gt; I'm a disbelieving angel.'''

'''Passing Through Air''' (1978)

* '''Passing through [[air]]. &lt;br /&gt; You mix the [[stars]] with your arms.''' &lt;br /&gt; Walking through there. &lt;br /&gt; The [[doom]] of [[eternity]] balms. &lt;br /&gt; [[Skies]] of grey are not today.

* Oh! Don't you throw my [[love]] away, &lt;br /&gt; I need your loving, I need your loving...

''' The Magician''' (1979)

* '''When you reach for a [[Stars|star]] &lt;br /&gt; Only [[angels]] are there &lt;br /&gt; And it's not very far &lt;br /&gt; Just a step on a stair &lt;br /&gt; Take a look at those [[clowns]] &lt;br /&gt; And the tricks that they play &lt;br /&gt; In the circus of life &lt;br /&gt; Life is bitter and gay &lt;p&gt; There are clowns in the night &lt;br /&gt; Clowns everywhere &lt;br /&gt; See how they run &lt;br /&gt; Run from despair ...
** This was a song written for the soundtrack of ''[[w:The Magician of Lublin (film)|The Magician of Lublin]]'' (1979), based on the 1960 novel by [[Isaac Bashevis Singer]]; Kate's singing of it appears at times in the background within the film - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkfbkVKmbG0 YouTube video] 

* When the [[fantasy]] bells &lt;br /&gt; Of the [[universe]] ring &lt;br /&gt; You can fly through the [[sky]] &lt;br /&gt; On a dragonfly's wing. &lt;br /&gt; '''There is [[magic]] within &lt;br /&gt; There is magic without &lt;br /&gt; Follow me and you'll learn &lt;br /&gt; Just what life's all about.'''

'''[[w:December Will Be Magic Again|December Will Be Magic Again]]''' (1980)

* ''[[December]] will be [[magic]] again.'' &lt;br /&gt; Take a husky to the ice &lt;br /&gt; While [[w:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]] sings [[w:White Christmas (song)|White Christmas]]. &lt;br /&gt; He makes you feel nice. &lt;br /&gt; '''December will be magic again.'''

* See how I fall like the snow, &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the lovers, &lt;br /&gt; (But don't you wake them up) &lt;br /&gt; Come to sparkle the dark up, &lt;br /&gt; With just a touch of make up. &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the muck up. &lt;br /&gt; ''' Ooh with a little luck — &lt;br /&gt; December will be magic again. '''

* December will be magic again. &lt;br /&gt; Don't miss the brightest star, &lt;br /&gt; Kiss under mistletoe, &lt;br /&gt; '''I want to hear you laugh, &lt;br /&gt; Don't let the mystery go now.'''

[[File:Rosa sp.181.jpg|thumb|Go right to the [[rose]]. Go right to the white rose …]]
'''Warm And Soothing''' (1980)

* Warm and soothing &lt;br /&gt; That's how I remember home. &lt;br /&gt; Walking into arms through the back door &lt;br /&gt; Hearing voices I know well and long for.

* I'm reeling in the music, &lt;br /&gt; And I've only had a few... &lt;br /&gt; And I'm afraid by the way we grow old... &lt;br /&gt; My darling...

'''Under the Ivy''' (1985)
[[File:Efeu Blatt.JPG|thumb| It's not easy for me to give away a [[secret]] — It's not [[safe]]…]]
* '''This little girl inside me &lt;br /&gt; Is retreating to her favourite place. &lt;br /&gt; Go into the garden. &lt;br /&gt; Go under the ivy, &lt;br /&gt; Under the leaves, &lt;br /&gt; Away from the party. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the rose. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the white rose &lt;br /&gt; (For me.)'''

* ''' It's not easy for me &lt;br /&gt; To give away a secret — &lt;br /&gt; It's not safe...'''

[[File:Joseph Mallord William Turner, English - The Burning of the Houses of Lords and Commons, October 16, 1834 - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb| As we cross the [[bridge]] — the burning bridge — With [[flames]] behind us, We front the line. It's you and me, baby, against the [[world]].]]
'''Burning Bridge''' (1985)
* ''' I know it works for me. &lt;br /&gt; As we cross the bridge — the burning bridge — &lt;br /&gt; With flames behind us, &lt;br /&gt; We front the line. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me, baby, against the world.'''

'''Be Kind To My Mistakes''' (1986)
:&lt;small&gt;Song for the film [[w:Castaway (Lucy Irvine)|''Castaway'' (1986)]]; later included in the collection ''This Woman's Work''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I don't know you, &lt;br /&gt; And you don't know me. &lt;br /&gt; It is this that brings us together. '''

'''You Want Alchemy''' (B-side of [[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]] single) (4 April 1994)
[[File:Winged Sun alchemical.jpg|thumb|right|Did you [[know]] they can [[change]] it [[all]]? &lt;br /&gt; They got [[alchemy]].]]

* What a lovely afternoon &lt;br /&gt; On a [[w:Cloudbusting|cloudbusting]] kind of day. &lt;br /&gt; We took our own 'Mystery Tour' &lt;br /&gt; And got completely lost somewhere up in the hills. &lt;p&gt; And we came up on a bee-keeper, &lt;br /&gt; And he said &quot;'''Did you know they can change it all?'''&quot; 

* '''They got [[alchemy]].''' &lt;br /&gt; They turn the roses into gold &lt;br /&gt; They turn the lilac into honey &lt;br /&gt; They're making love for the peaches. &lt;p&gt; '''And they'll do it, &lt;br /&gt; Do it for you.'''

== Quotes about Kate Bush ==
:&lt;small&gt;Arranged alphabetically by author.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Emilybronte retouche.jpg|thumb|right|People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that song. ~ Alan Bentley]]

* '''One of the main things that brings people to the Brontë Museum from all over the world is Kate Bush.''' We have copies of her No 1 hit single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; in our collection of [[Emily Brontë|Brontë]]-related items. '''People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that [[song]].'''
** Alan Bentley, director of the [http://www.bronte.org.uk/Brontë Parsonage Museum]

* To me, Kate Bush will always represent the age of exploring your sexuality, when you change from a girl to a woman. I guess that's what I found fascinating about Kate, she totally stuck out. She created her own look and sound. There's a timelessness to her music.
** [[Björk]]

* I think she is still relevant. It's nice to see people reinvent themselves. She was a great performer and a great singer. I like that song, you know the one, &quot;It's me, I'm Cathy…&quot; I love that song. I remember listening to it growing up.
** [[w:Mutya Buena|Mutya Buena]] of [[w:Sugababes|Sugababes]]

* '''I know this may give her a mystique and make the press all the more curious about her, but that's not the intention; it's not a ploy to get her more attention. She genuinely doesn't see why people should be interested in her personal life and she certainly doesn't like going out to clubs or trendy restaurants. It's just not her.'''
** Paddy Bush, Kate's brother, as quoted in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; by Amy Standen, in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* For me, it's not important how well the songs will be received because I think she's already an amazing influence in what she's done. I listen to her stuff a lot while I sketch and I think there is a weird sense of emotional encouragement in her work. There's something therapeutic in her voice and in her attitude, so that sometimes just listening to it can encourage you or give you some kind of energy.
** [http://www.widemedia.com/fashionuk/fashion/catwalk-archive/lfw-ss01/hc.html Hussein Chalayan, fashion designer]

* I didn't realise how commercially successful she might be. I thought of her more really, I suppose, in the terms of someone like [[Joni Mitchell]] — the level of a lady who's very talented, but would appeal to a more esoteric audience. But she had different ideas.
** [[David Gilmour]] of [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] who helped Kate's career get started.

* '''Kate Bush's celebrated full return to the stage after a 35-year absence is proving that absence makes the heart grow fonder.''' Eight positions of the current British albums chart are occupied by the art-rock icon's albums, according to ''The New York Times'', which sets a new record for the artist, whose 1978 debut single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; made her the first female in British charts history to have a self-written Number One. &lt;br /&gt; In addition to being the only woman in U.K. charts history to have that many albums in the Top 40, Bush is now trailing [[Elvis Presley]] and the [[Beatles]] for having simultaneous Top 40 records; Presley had 12 at one point in his career, while the Beatles, at another time, had 11.
** Kory Grow, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/kate-bush-pens-letter-thanking-fans-following-concert-run-20141022 &quot;Kate Bush Lands Eight Albums on British Chart Following Comeback Shows&quot;, in ''Rolling Stone'' (2 September 2014)]

* One of music's most reclusive and enigmatic figures has re-emerged into what some have seen as a rich era for British female singer-songwriters. Bush's new double album, ''Aerial'', is due out in November, only her eighth after three decades in the business. It will be treated with due reverence.
** Terry Kirby in [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece ''The Independent''] (2 September 2005)

* That's a song where we were listening to a lot of Kate Bush last summer, and we wanted a song which had a lot of tom-toms in it,I just had my daughter up also, and was kind of feeling in a sense of awe and wonderment, so the song is kind of a Kate Bush song about miracles.
** [[Chris Martin]], on the links between [[Coldplay]]'s song &quot;Speed of Sound&quot; and Kate Bush's &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running up that Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;. He later said &quot;we tried to copy the drums, guitar, melody….etc&quot;

* '''Of course she's still relevant. I wasn't actually in the country when her music first came out, so I only discovered it three or four years ago. What's amazing is that something like &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; still sounds so different.''' I actually saw her about nine months ago, we were just passing at an industry event and I went up to her and said I was a big fan and asked her about the new record. She was really excited about it but quite nervous because she felt that everyone was hyping it up a bit and she just wanted to bring out an album. You know, she's a musician.
** [[Katie Melua]]

* Her music remains reassuringly the same ecstatic alchemy of the humdrum and otherworldly. Recalling the hello-clouds wonder of The Big Sky from 1985's ''Hounds of Love'' or the frank paean to menstruation that is Strange Phenomena from her debut, ''The Kick Inside'', ''Aerial'' finds Bush marvelling in the magic of the everyday: the wind animating a skirt hanging on a clothes line, the trace of footprints leading into the sea, the indecipherable codes of birdsong.
** ''MOJO'' magazine as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)

* '''I simply think she is one of the greatest figures in British music over the last 30 years. There are an awful lot of people in the business wandering around claiming to be artists, but she is one of the few who can genuinely make that claim... I don't think there is any competition, she's on a different level and quite outside them all.'''
** Paul Rees, editor of ''Q'' Magazine, as quoted in ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

* Could Keely Garfield be the Kate Bush of downtown dance? The question is raised by “Wow,” the bizarre, hilarious, enthralling, confounding and cathartic new work that Ms. Garfield presented on Thursday at Danspace Project. Surely it is the recent comeback tour of Ms. Bush that has put that singer-songwriter on Ms. Garfield's mind. But it is “Wow” that suggests the comparison: two British-born women, intensely idiosyncratic and theatrical with outlandish taste in costumes, who follow their imaginations uninhibitedly. &lt;br /&gt; The salient difference would seem to be irony. Much of Ms. Bush's power stems from her absolute [[sincerity]], the sense that she is unaware that anyone might find what she's doing ridiculous. But Ms. Garfield has always been wry, droll, deadpan. Her assertion in a program note that she meant “Wow” to be “entirely sincere without a hint of irony or cleverness” cannot and should not be taken as entirely sincere. &lt;br /&gt; The program also credits Matthew Brookshire with “music inspired by the poetry of Kate Bush.” What we actually hear, though, are Kate Bush songs. Some are played in the original recordings, some chopped up and looped, but most are performed live by the marvelous Mr. Brookshire, on vocals and piano, joined by Ms. Garfield and her four terrific dancers. The arrangements are stripped down and seductively vibrant. Some lyrics are recited in a manner between sports cheer and Greek chorus. Some singsongy melodies are swapped for the tunes of actual nursery rhymes. &lt;br /&gt; Ms. Garfield, in other words, does not shy from the naïveté of her material. Much of her choreography illustrates the lyrics literally, in the manner of a children's pageant.
** Brian Seibert, in [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/18/arts/dance/keely-garfield-draws-on-kate-bush-at-danspace-project.html &quot;Sincerity and Irony Meet on the Dance Floor&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (17 December 2014)]

* '''With a voice you either love or hate, she belts out a song with a desperation that grabs you and won't let go.'''
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* Bush has always teetered dangerously at the edge of sentimentality and cliché, and her early songs (what one reviewer called her “soft-focus Victorian melodramas”) could have gone all wrong had her bizarre phrasing not somehow let us know how serious she was. &lt;br /&gt; '''Bush sang melodramas, but she meant them like truth; those “oohs” aren't filler. The conviction in her voice, the baldness and great crushing desperation of it, is overpowering.''' It's the kind of music that grabs your innards and you turn it up, squint your eyes with the strain of it. Kate Bush was younger than 20 when she wrote “Wuthering Heights.” She couldn't (and still can't) read or write music, but she knew how to make a song true, how to up the tension with a key change, repeat the chorus with a hardness in her voice. &lt;br /&gt; She was a prodigy, an 18-year-old who looked 35, with an ethereal voice and a knack for inventive songwriting. She looks, in photos of the time, simultaneously naive and defiant, like someone who doesn't need other people. Much later in life, when she was asked in an interview with ''Rolling Stone'' why she toured so infrequently, Bush replied: “'''The more I got into presenting things to the world, the further it was taking me away from what I was, which was someone who just used to sit quietly at a piano and sing and play. It became very important to me not to lose sight of that.'''” &lt;br /&gt; In other words, Bush decided early on that our approval didn't matter. She was doing this from herself and largely for herself and if people didn't like her, or if they didn't understand her, well then, screw them.
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* I'm really looking forward to Kate Bush's return — I'm no expert on her work but I know some of it and I think she's an incredibly original and talented artist. Anyone who writes most of an album like her first album, ''The Kick Inside'', at 15 years old has got to be pretty special.
** [[w:KT Tunstall|KT Tunstall]]

* '''When EMI invites a group of journalists to the Royal Academy of Music, in London, for a one-off listen to Kate Bush's new album, they are sending a clear signal — this album is not to be dismissed lightly.'''
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is, in a sense, a lyric poem set to music. Full of lush, fecund melodies which swing from jazz to rock, it is threaded through with bird song and chatter and feels distinctly organic and earthy.... Side two is the album Pink Floyd might have made if Kate Bush had been their lead singer and lyricist in 1979.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)
** '''Bush has written a lyric poem set to music, which has an epic quality, transporting the listener to a deeply lush and fertile landscape.''' Lyrically cryptic, but strangely seductive, side two is the album [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] might have made in 1979 if Bush had been their lead singer. &lt;br /&gt; '''Concept albums are not everyone's cup of tea — but this is a masterpiece.'''
*** Variant in a later [http://web.archive.org/web/20090115012224/http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/release/fprg/ BBC summary review] 

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is a celebration of song itself, which has a child's joyful lack of inhibition about it — Kate Bush is heard laughing freely towards the end while a young child, possibly her son, is heard several times... Aerial stands alongside The Hounds of Love and The Kick Inside as her finest work.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* I always heard about Kate Bush being considered one of the most influential female artists during the modern era of pop/rock music, but never understood what her appeal was... But when I recently stumbled upon her debut 1978 single, &quot;Wuthering Heights,&quot; I found myself spending hours absorbing as much of her pre-1985 material as possible . . . Listening to an early Kate Bush album brings you far, far, away to a dreamworld filled with pixies and love and Peter Pan and pure hearts . . .''' &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; and the rest of ''The Kick Inside'' display all of Bush's trademarks: a literary consciousness; flourishing, heartfelt waves and the ability to successfully incorporate just about every eccentric vocal style you've never heard into each song.'''
** Jared Wolfe, in ''The Cornell Daily Sun'' (20 October 2005)

* '''Illusion, dance, mime, even magic — the Tour of Life, as it was called, had the lot.''' &lt;br /&gt; I shan't forget the way those [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]]-like whale sounds that open The Kick Inside album heralded Kate's entry to the stage as waves were projected on huge screens and her band launched into Moving. &lt;br /&gt; For a split second, the audience thought Kate was lip-synching because there was no microphone, but in pre-dating Madonna by a couple of decades, she was wearing a headset to allow free movement around the stage. &lt;br /&gt; Every song from that first album was performed before the switch to stuff from follow-up Lionheart, virtually every number warranting a change of costume and stage set. ... '''The entire show was pure theatre.'''
** Jade Wright, quoting a fan who was at the opening of Kate's one and only musical tour, in [http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-entertainment/liverpool-arts/2007/10/29/kate-bush-at-the-empire-april-3-1979-100252-20025105/ &quot;Kate Bush at the Empire, April 3, 1979&quot; by Jade Wright in the ''Liverpool Echo'' (29 October 2007)]

=== The Unique Poetry Of Kate Bush (1985) ===
[[File:Rosen - Frederick Delius.jpg|thumb|Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her [[music]] will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it. ~ Sue Hudson]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/reaching/i85_hifi.html Review by Sue Hudson] in ''Hi-Fi &amp; Record Review'' (December 1985)&lt;/small&gt;

* We've been holding our breath for a long time. Three years of playing the old songs and wondering &quot;whatever next?&quot; Would it be even weirder than ''The Dreaming?'' Would it leave more admirers by the wayside, shaking their heads?... The real fans will happily go along for the ride, even if she isn't going the pretty way. 

* '''Kate journeys into new and exciting territories. She is an original in a [[music]] [[world]] dominated by cover versions, regressive movements and identikit superstars.''' The direct opposite of the archetypal rock star: compulsively introvert in a world of screaming extraverts, middle-class and deeply English amid England's all-pervasive working class American ethos, boldly feminine in rock's macho climate. '''Her melodic genius and articulate lyrics make the rest seem moronically simplistic.'''

* After a thousand songs on the theme of boy-meets-girl-boy-loses-girl or Thatcher's Britain, exposure to her music comes as an imaginative release as we go giddily flying into the limitless possibilities of the poetic viewpoint. Here is talk of whales, of Peter Pan, kites, Houdini, mysticism... '''Acquaintances have observed, &quot;She lives in a world of her own.&quot; But it's a world that lives within [[all]] of us, and her [[songs]] shine [[light]] into neglected areas of our [[minds]].'''

* Her subjects come tripping from library shelves, television and cinema screens and musty books of fairy tales, the stuff that dreams are made of. She spins tunes that haunt, twist and turn the mind, triggering long forgotten moods. Listening intently to her albums is an experience akin to having a lucid and feverish dream. [[Jungian]] [[symbols]] of youth, [[innocence]], [[spiritual]] escape and the dark, feminine realm abound. [[Ghosts]] haunt the black vinyl grooves... But it's not all brooding intensity. There are [[jokes]], too...

* '''It's a mischievous [[paradox]] that, while rock at its ultra-macho best is exhilarating and energizing, yet just at the moment when it is most strident and loud it leaves you needing something more. Then along comes a shy doctor's daughter from Welling who out-screams the best, out-powers the noisiest and tops it with the satisfying impact of musical and psychological depth.''' It's almost [[Richard Wagner|Wagnerian]].'''

* '''Her [[talent]] was precocious.''' &quot;The Saxophone Song&quot; and &quot;The Man With the Child in His Eyes&quot; were recorded as demo tapes when Kate was still at school. The first album, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978), caused tremendous media interest and is still the public's favourite. '''Her [[voice]], criticized at the time, was small and childlike, the range erratic, if impressive. Since then it has improved enormously, deepening and gaining power and flexibility, until now it is a great asset, individual and capable of both subtle and stunning effects.'''

* The album ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' came next and starts in happy mood, with a summer night of a cha-cha-cha tribute to a new-found hero, &quot;[[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]]&quot;. The philosophic All We Ever Look For creates a remarkable and rare mood of reassurance and upbeat resignation, a Bush specialty . . . The end comes in the horrifying &quot;Breathing&quot;, a vision of the nuclear holocaust through the eyes of an unborn child.

* On to ''[[w:The Dreaming|The Dreaming]]'', a strange, alien album full of [[mysticism]] and obscurantae. Its impact owes much to sheer production quality. Kate has gradually taken over this aspect of her records since ''[[w:Lionheart|Lionheart]]'', and each LP is technically more impressive. Her voice here is forward and strong and, on &quot;Leave It Open&quot;, deliberately distorted to create a surreal effect. Get Out of My House is a shattering trip into madness, with a stunning culmination which finds Kate braying like a mule amid a chorus of Indian drum talk.

* The new album, ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'', breaks new ground for Kate with the b-side. This is a story — The Ninth Wave — told in a series of songs, like a Pink Floyd concept album.

* '''Casual listeners will miss the depth of the music.''' You must sit down with the lyric sheet and find out what's going on. All the vocal acrobatics and weird sounds click into place when you know what ideas, stories and situations they are expressing. In most rock and pop, the music and words may be linked, but are basically separate. '''Kate creates, more and more, a fusion between the two — the sounds directly expressing the subject.''' This is a throwback to Wagner's music-drama, with its leitmotifs, turning music into an idea. The [[Beatles]] revived the technique, and bands of the hippy era like [[Pink Floyd]] carried the banner. . . Kate is fast becoming a master in the use of this sonic montage, perhaps because the ideas she is using are far more complex, have more &quot;resonances&quot;, than those of her contemporaries.

* '''Kate will never be an academic artist, drily applying intellectual music theory to the delight of a handful of peers, forging into new areas for the sake of &quot;progress&quot;. Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her music will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it.''' I just hope that she will have the confidence to follow her instincts and not be discouraged by the music press, who in the main are baffled and annoyed by her uniqueness. Unable to pigeon-hole her music, they turn instead to ridicule and condescension to fill the pages. Which is a disservice to the British public who, to their undying credit, have made Kate Bush such a popular success.

===Kate Bush rules, OK? (2005) ===
[[File:Let Love Rule.jpg|thumb|right|Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Article by [[w:Michael Berkeley|Michael Berkeley]], published in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1589379,00.html ''The Guardian''] (11 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* When the conductor Richard Hickox rang me one day in 1984 to ask if I could help with a rather unusual job for which he and his choir had been engaged, I was intrigued. Kate Bush, it transpired, was working on her new album, ''Hounds of Love'', and for one track, Hello Earth, she wanted a chorus to recreate the orthodox singing/chanting that made such a contribution to the film ''[[Nosferatu]]''.

* '''I had always considered Kate Bush truly original both as a performer and as a songwriter with an unusually fresh sense of harmony.''' If her new album next month is awaited with some excitement after a long fallow period, then in 1985 it was assumed that ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' would be something of a final fling at the conclusion of a waning career. '''I soon realised how wrong this assumption was when Kate sent me a cassette''': it was zany, ambitious and yet utterly Kate Bush, but with gaps where I was to do her bidding. Having chatted at length, she sent me a long letter with the words of the song and precise instructions on how it should unfold...''' Structure was carefully delineated, verses and choruses written out fully and marked up in colour, and she talked of the sound quality in the most graphic terms.'''

* '''Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.''' I have always been fascinated by the difference of dynamics at work between popular artists and conventionally trained classical musicians, and had a similar experience with [[The Edge|the Edge]], of [[U2]], when we worked together on the score of a film called ''Captive''. '''In fact, gifted &quot;pop&quot; musicians like Bush and U2 are far more demanding of themselves in the studio than classical musicians can afford to be, and will spend days working on a tiny fragment.'''

* Come the recording day, a group of male choristers, more accustomed to singing church services than backing vocals, descended on Bush's home, which was equipped with its own studio. Doubtless they were imagining that they were about to meet a wild-eyed rock babe, but Kate, quiet and unassuming — the kind of sympathetic, slightly shy girl who greets you from behind the counter at the local chemist — introduced us to her friend the bass player [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], who engineered the session. None of the singers or Richard had ever gone over and over four or five phrases so exactingly. No measure of Bach or Mozart had, in their experience, been subjected to such surgical scrutiny, and I began to worry that their voices might begin to tire. '''But Bush knew and got what she wanted and &quot;Hello Earth&quot; is, I think, a remarkable track on the album that finally broke the American market and established her as an iconic and hugely influential figure. I can't wait to hear what she has been up to now.'''

=== Admit it, guys, she's a genius (2005) ===
[[File:Genius logo.png|thumb|right|For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html Article by Kitty Empire, in ''The Observer''] (30 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.''' ... Before disgust stopped me getting dragged into these skirmishes, I had a ready arsenal of Girl Greats — [[Patti Smith]], [[Björk]], [[w:Nina Simone|Nina Simone]], [[w:Delia Derbyshire|Delia Derbyshire]], [[w:Polly Harvey|Polly Harvey]], and so on. And yet, there would often be some caveat why genius eluded my candidates (ripped off Dylan etc). '''Until we would get to Kate. Female genius? Kate Bush. End of. &lt;br /&gt; ''Aerial'', the first Kate Bush album in a young lifetime (12 years), re-establishes the fact. It is extraordinary — jaw-dropping, no less.'''

* ''Aerial'' succeeds because it's all there for a reason. And because the good stuff is just so sublime. 'King of the Mountain', Bush's Elvis-inspired single, is both a fine opener and a total red herring. Bush's juices really get going on 'Pi', a sentimental ode to a mathematician, audacious in both subject matter and treatment. The chorus is the number sung to many, many decimal places. It's closely followed by a gushing ode to Bush's son, Bertie, that's stark and medieval-sounding. The rest of disc one (aka ''A Sea of Honey'') sets a very high bar for disc two, with the Joan of Arc-themed 'Joanni' and the downright poppy 'How to Be Invisible' raising the hair on your arms into a Mexican wave. &lt;br /&gt; Disc two, subtitled ''A Sky of Honey'', is a suite of nine tracks which, among other things, charts the passage of light from afternoon ('Prologue') to evening ('An Architect's Dream', 'The Painter's Link') and through the night until dawn. Things get a little hairier here.

* '''It's clear Bush is still a force to be reckoned with. The problem, though, with female genius — for many men at least — is that very frequently it is not like male genius. And with its songs about children, washing machines going 'slooshy sloshy', Joan of Arc, Bush's mother, not to mention the almost pagan sensuality that runs through here like a pulse, Aerial is, arguably, the most female album in the world, ever.''' ... the artistry here is so dizzying, the ambition and scope so vast, that even the deafest, most inveterate misogynist could not fail to acknowledge it. '''Genius. End of.'''

=== Kate Bush: Finally, something for the grown-ups (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''The Independent'' (31 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Such is the idiosyncratic nature of her work that she could probably disappear for a half-century and still sustain her own unique position in the pop firmament.''' But then, who else would write about an obsessive-compulsive housewife or attempt a vocal duet with trilling birds, or, in the most courageous of the album's many unusual strategies, sing huge strings of numbers, a gambit that brings new meaning to the old critic's chestnut about being happy to listen to someone singing the telephone directory?

* Many years ago, back near the start of her career, she regarded the domestic demands of motherhood as a dubious prospect, claiming her work was her love, and how could she do that and bring up a child at the same time? The answer, presumably, was not to work for a dozen years.

* She has always freely admitted being like a little girl in many ways, and furthermore, happily presumes she'll still be that way in her dotage. It's certainly still a factor on ''Aerial'' , both in the track &quot;Bertie&quot; itself and in the memories and reminiscences that cobweb some other songs. But compared to the darker corners of the mind sometimes mined in earlier songs, the new album seems a much sunnier affair: an enduring image I took away from it — not necessarily a lyric, though it might have been — was of windows flung wide open, their curtains billowing out in the breeze, a room's long-dormant dust stirred into life again.

* She's unafraid, too, of tackling more problematic areas of sexuality, as for instance when she dealt with cradle-snatching in &quot;The Infant Kiss&quot; and incest in &quot;The Kick Inside&quot;. But not all that seems erotic in her music is about sex, as an EMI employee discovered when he found her working on the hypnotic &quot;out-in-out-in&quot; chant section of &quot;Breathing&quot; (from 1980's ''Never For Ever''), and expressed outrage at EMI's young pop princess making such an overtly sexual record. The song is, of course, about breathing. Duhhh!

* At around an hour and a half, Aerial is unquestionably a substantial piece of work, and its manifold peculiarities and quirks offer much more interesting fare than that available from today's AOR mainstream. It's also a more mature undertaking than any of her previous albums, an extended meditation on art and light, fame and family, creativity and the natural world. Indeed it seems, come to think of it, like an expansion of the theme of Laura Veirs' gorgeous &quot;Rapture&quot;. And since that was the finest song of last year, I'd have to say that leaves Kate Bush still operating at the cutting-edge of intelligent adult pop, every bit as relevant now as at any point in her career. Just a little bit weirder, thank heavens.

=== ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014) ===
[[File:Viv Albertine.jpg|thumb|&quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; … this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'' ~ [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]] ]] 
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of various people from the BBC documentary [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4sLwt8mhZs ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014)], listed alphabetically.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Tori Amos 2 pianos.jpg|thumb|I remember, I had to pull over, and [[listen]] to it, because I'd never [[heard]] anything like it. ~ [[Tori Amos]] ]]
[[File:Big Boi Counterpoint.jpg|thumb|That's [[w:Running Up That Hill|one of like my all-time favorite songs]], dude … every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord. ~ [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]] ]] 
[[File:St Vincent by Sachyn Mital.jpg|thumb|You don’t ever get the sense that she's making [[music]] to pander to anyone. I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her [[true]] [[vision]] whenever you get a Kate Bush record. ~ [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]] ]]
[[File:Peter Gabriel Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|Kate's wonderful [[voice]] is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of [[love]] out there for them. ~ [[Peter Gabriel]] ]]
[[File:Gaiman-headshot.jpg|thumb|One of the things I [[love]] about Kate Bush is her absolute [[ability]] to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them [[work]]. ~ [[Neil Gaiman]] ]]
[[File:David Gilmour - live 8 - edited.jpg|thumb|I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; ~ [[David Gilmour]] ]]
[[File:Elton John in Norway 5.jpg|thumb|[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|That record she did]] with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my [[life]]. ~ [[Elton John]] ]]
[[File:Miss Khan.jpg|thumb|She seems to have an endless kind of [[ability]] to put herself in and with [[empathize]] with different [[characters]] and viewpoints. ~ [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]] ]]
[[File:John Lydon at the Hammersmith Odeon, 2008-09-02 (4).jpg|thumb|My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] … It’s a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things. ~ [[John Lydon]] ]]
[[File:Lindsey Kemp Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|I got back to my [[home]] … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn’t know she had any aspirations of being a [[singer]]. She never talked about herself. ~ [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]] ]] 
[[File:Tricky mp3h1943.jpg|thumb|I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to. … When I first heard [[Billie Holiday]], I'd never heard anything like that in my [[life]] — the same with Kate Bush. ~ [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]] ]]

* When Kate Bush came along, sort of '78, I was in [[w:The Slits|The Slits]] , and I remember I was sitting in a van outside our singer's house, waiting to do a gig, and &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; And I kept waiting for the melody to repeat, because, you know, at that time, pop music was very much Radio One, you know it was repeating melodies very quickly, and '''this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'''''
** [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]]

* '''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'s just one of those song's you just can't get out of your head, can you?''' You know, how she just takes a word, and you start seeing images and pictures. To a word that maybe you haven't used ... it's &quot;Babooshka&quot; and she's turned that into an emotion, that's just how she's able to use a combination of a word and a combination of a melody and the rhythm of that, and it creates a new language.
** [[Tori Amos]]

* I just remember pulling aside, I was driving, and I heard it on the radio, in the states — and she didn't really get played a lot in the states, until that song — that really got played — a lot. '''I remember, I had to pull over, and listen to it, because I'd never heard anything like it.'''
** [[Tori Amos]], on first hearing &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* The intention is to tell a story, to create a sonic world for us, a sonic ''painting'', for us to walk into, without having to see her. She's transcending that. '''She's [[choosing]] to transcend that. And that's a very powerful thing to do.'''
** [[Tori Amos]]

* '''I don't think she's ever particularly wanted to &quot;play the game&quot;, has she?''' But when you've done ''great'' work, like she's done, and then you retract from the public, people almost have to make up their own version of you, don't they?
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]]

* I've spent ''many, many'' hours listening to that 30 minutes of [[music]]. It's an incredible piece of music, and '''I would advise anyone who's never heard it to go and listen to it, because it's one of the ''[[great]]'' pieces of music.'''
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]], on &quot;The Ninth Wave&quot; section of ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]''

*'''She's sort of stretching the fabric, not just of her [[voice]], but of the whole kind of pop form.''' ... It's like a child, it's like a kind of reveling in what her voice can do. 
** [http://katherineangel.com Katherine Angel], on Kate's singing

* '''It's as if, within her voice, there's ''[[everything]]'' — every possible facet of [[human]] [[experience]] is their under her surface, and her [[work]] as a [[writer]] is to constantly draw that out'''. Not just the particularity of her experiences as a female body, but her experience as a person, which is to be prey to all kinds of forces and sensations. 
** Katherine Angel

* '''That's one of like my all-time favorite songs, dude.''' Music is supposed to evoke [[emotion]], you know what I'm saying, It makes you feel a certain way, you know, that's what the vibrations are. Its, its not stagnant, its not just, not just plain — '''every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord.'''	
** [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]], on &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* '''You can hear one note of a Kate Bush song, or one note of her voice even, and know immediately what it is.''' And that is the biggest feat of any artist, especially when you consider, you know, all the roads that she's gone down. 
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on Bush's singing 

* '''For that to have come out of someone's brain, period, is a remarkable feat.''' For that to have come out of someone's brain, at 17 years old — ''this incredible song'', ''incredible'' song ... there aren't that many ''amazing'' pop songs that have two or three key changes in them —‚ and I'm not talking about some modulations, I'm talking: &quot;Okay, now we're in the key of Q.&quot; It's like ''WHAT?'' But it's so brilliant, it's so memorable. I always karaoke that song — ''if I drink enough.''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* I read an interview with her one time, where she was asked, something along the lines of &quot;Why do you write from the perspective of a lot of characters?&quot; and she said very simply and eloquently &quot;because they're more interesting than I am.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''I'm convinced that, as great as that record sounds, if you had anyone else sing it, you know, anyone else try to kind of weave and make it do that thing where it burns like wildfire and it comes alive, ''no one else could do it.''''' It's incredible the way she kind of brings this cold arctic atmosphere, It's just like fire, you know? It's like all ''aaarh'' coming out of her mouth. ... and now I'm listening to the song in my head. &quot;Do you know what I really need? Do you know what I really need? I need lalalala yea yo yea yo your ''love''.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:The Sensual World (song)|The Sensual World]]&quot;

* I still remember going to the CD store and buying ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' when I was 16, and the cover — there was a [[rose]] in front of her mouth, that has bloomed, she's got big wide eyes, and '''I remember, you know, putting it on the shitty car stereo on the way home, you know — ''and my life was forever changed.'''''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''You don't ever get the sense that she's making music to pander to anyone.''' I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her true vision whenever you get a Kate Bush record.
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* She's a gift for satirists. Of course it's easy, because dull artists, especially in pop music, are very difficult to satirize. It's all there on a plate wasn't it?
** [[Steve Coogan]]

* '''I was called by my agent, who said &quot;Would you like to record a track with Kate Bush?&quot; To which there is ''only'' F-ing one possible answer.''' Unless its me ''singing''. I said, &quot;She does know I can't sing?&quot; &quot;No-no-no, it would be voicing, saying words for snow. … I still can't believe it says &quot;Kate Bush-Stephen Fry.&quot; 
** [[Stephen Fry]], talking about his work with Kate on ''[[w: 50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'', and the credits on the album.

* '''She has a very intense poetic mind.''' That's what makes it — ''that voice'' that comes in.
** [[Stephen Fry]], listening to ''50 Words for Snow''

* '''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] is still one of those things, which right from the get-go ... has its own life, because it's just a great song.''' ... For all the time that she or I or anyone spend decorating and creating moods, its actually the key element of what your saying, the melody and the chords which still speak louder than all the stuff around, on a great song. 
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* Creativity comes from the freedom to fail. And freedom to fail comes from experimentation, and that's what gives something its individuality. And, you know, '''I think her courage, which is the positive way of interpreting it, or bloody-mindedness, which is the negative, is part of what gives her real value as an artist.'''
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* It's extraordinary what that song has been used for — I think a lot of people who have gotten into trouble, have attached themselves to that song, and I think a lot of it is Kate's wonderful voice is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of love out there for them.
** [[Peter Gabriel]], on his duet with Kate on his song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* '''I'd never heard anything like it before. It was like [[w:banshee|banshee]] [[music]].''' This absolutely otherworldly voice, singing about a [[book]], and as a bookish kid, I was always fascinated by anything, any music that seems to be about or inspired by books.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* '''One of the things I love about Kate Bush is her absolute ability to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them work.''' [[James Joyce]]'s ''[[Ulysses]]'' — one of the greatest passages in all of English or Anglo-Irish literature, is Molly Bloom's glorious soliloquy ending in a sequence of Yeses. It's about embracing the [[world]] of the [[senses]], embracing [[yourself]], embracing [[sex]], embracing [[love]], embracing the [[future]], embracing ''[[all|all]]'' possibility, and it goes all the way back to me, to &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; — this is somebody who is not afraid of books. '''This is somebody who is not afraid of reading, somebody who's not afraid of writers, and who's not afraid of ''translating'', being an intermediary, being a [[door]], between the world of books and the world of rock.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Kate Bush makes a record, and you don't hear from her. And you play the stuff she has made, and one day you are surprised, and she brings out something else, and she's been quietly working away on it, for however long she wanted to work on it, and I love that. '''I love the willingness to be quiet, until its time to speak — which is something that she does over and over.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Its funny no one ever applies the term &quot;progressive rock&quot; to Kate Bush, but to me its prog. It's the same think I love about the best prog, it's like, the really sort of brash stuff, people showing technical ability, I have no interest in, but the experimental dreamy stuff, that sort of came from many places at once, I set her stuff next to, well next to [[Janis Joplin|Janis]], is the obvious comparison... 
** [[w:Guy Garvey|Guy Garvey]]

* '''I had a listen, I was intrigued ... by this strange voice, and I went to her house, met her parents down in Kent, and she played me, it must have been forty or fifty songs, on tape, and I thought, I should try to do something.''' ... We were making — [[Pink Floyd]] was making the ''Wish You Were Here'' album, and I think we had the record company people down at Abbey Road, in number 3, and I said to them &quot;Do you want to hear something I've got? And they said &quot;sure&quot;, so we found another room, and I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; 
** [[David Gilmour]], on first hearing 15 year old Kate's demo tapes, and meeting with her.

* '''It is absolutely beautiful, isn't it?''' And its a sort of over two years before any of the other recordings she did. That is her singing at the age of 16, and having written those extraordinary lyrics — about whatever they're about.
** [[David Gilmour]], listening to [[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] 

* This is a whole universe I can dive into — and for me, it was very ''avant-garde'', and expressive and kind of from a complete different planet to everything else that you see from the eighties ... it's like she was definitely out their on her own. ... '''She seems to have an endless kind of ability to put herself in and with empathize with different characters and viewpoints.'''
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

* I really ''thank'' Kate, because these touchstones like &quot;This Woman's Work&quot;, that kind of song, it's celebrating everything that's so wonderful about being a woman, and being nurturing, and intuitive and emotional, and gentle and sensual, and just like really intimate. People don't put their hearts on the line in that vulnerable way very much, and me, as an artist myself, it's helped me to not be frightened, to show all, as much of my vulnerability as a woman as possible, and in that be powerful.
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

*''' They're not &quot;normal&quot; songs. None of her songs have been &quot;normal.&quot; She's just who she is, she's unique. She's — a mystery. She's the most beautiful mystery.''' ... Let me tell you a story: when I had my civil partnership, nine years ago, in 2005, and Kate — we invited Kate, we didn't think she'd come but she came, she came with her husband Danny, and '''there were a lot of very famous people in that room, there were like 600 people — and all anybody wanted to meet was Kate Bush.''' I mean, musician, ''anybody'', they couldn't believe Kate Bush was there. She's kind of an enigma. 
** [[Elton John]]

* &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; was not your normal type song — but that's why it was so brilliant. It was something out the norm. When something like that comes along, they don't come along that often. When does the next Kate Bush come along, after Kate Bush? There hasn't been one.
** [[Elton John]]

* '''That record she did with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my life.''' That record helped me get sober. So she played a big part in my actual downfall and kind of &quot;rebirth'&quot; as it were. That record helped me so much. I never told her that, but it did.
** [[Elton John]], on her duet with Peter Gabriel on the song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* When I first heard it, I thought that's ''extremely'' challenging, the vocal — it was almost ''hysterical'', and it was so up there, the register, but it was absolutely fascinating. And I know at the time a lot of my friends couldn't bear it, they thought it was just &quot;too much&quot; — but that's exactly what drew me in. 
** [[John Lydon]], on &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']], and I think she produced that one herself. That got ''a lot of criticism'' — but I ''loved'' it. It was overloaded with textures, and tones and all manner of things. '''It's a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things.'''
** [[John Lydon]]

* I was teaching at the Dance Centre in Covent Garden. Kate turned up, dressed very properly in her ballet tights and things, and her hair straight back, looking very, very professional indeed, a very, very serious student. But as ''timid as hell'', and of course she took a place at the back of the class, you know, I had to ''coax'' her forward. I mean she was ''extremely'' shy, ''extremely'' timid, and of course the first thing I had to do was, you know, bring her out of herself, give her courage. '''I have to say that once Kate actually ''started'' dancing, she was a ''wild'' thing, she was ''wild'''''. … One day, some months after knowing her, I got back to my home … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — '''and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn't know she had any aspirations of being a singer. She never talked about herself.'''
** [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]]

* '''I knew from day one, I knew ... there was no way this girl was not going to make it. She was going to be a ''huge'' success.''' There was no way, because she was so driven for it. And her [[enthusiasm]] for it all was infectious. 
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]]

* The working relationship was never a problem, you know. We always worked together reasonably well, you know, we always argue, and we always have and always will. I've always argued with Kate, and she's always argued with me, but I guess that's just the way it is, you know, so I feel I'm emotionally involved with it all, to a great extent, you know, much more so than most people would imagine. Not only did we have a personal relationship, and I work with her — I really love her music, I really do... to the point, where '''I virtually work with nobody else — because nobody else comes close.'''
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], on the break up of his personal relationship with Kate, and his continued work with her musically.

* '''I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to.''' Where does Kate Bush come from? You can't hear her influences. It's like [[Billie Holiday]], when I first heard Billie Holiday, I'd never heard anything like that in my life — the same with Kate Bush. I can't figure out musically, artistically, who her mother and father is. 	
** [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.katebush.com/ Official site]
* [http://homepage.tinet.ie/~twoms/katebush.htm Kate Bush News]
* [http://gaffa.org/ Gaffaweb - extensive fan site]
** [http://gaffa.org/sensual/l_alpha.html Lyrics of Kate Bush songs at Gaffaweb]
* [http://ectoguide.org/artists/bush.kate Ectophile Guide to Kate Bush] &amp; [http://ectoguide.org/genre Good Music]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Always on the Run : Kate Bush] (bio and lyrics)
* [http://home.att.net/~james51453/ &quot;Cathy&quot; Online version of the book by Kate's brother, John Carder Bush]
* [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/mp3/ Kate Bush in MP3 - early studio demos by Kate Bush, plus other rare recordings.]
* [http://www.katebush.info/ Kate Bush Information and Resources]
* [http://www.angelfire.com/stars4/katebush/Art.html Links to Artwork Inspired By Kate]
* [http://www.ukkatebushfangatherings.co.uk/ UK Kate Bush Fan Gatherings]
* [http://ninthwave.free.fr/ The Ninth Wave - French Language Fan Page]
* [http://children.ofthenight.org/cloudbusting/cloudbusting.html Cloudbusting - Kate In her Own Words]
* [http://fly.hiwaay.net/~cbullard/ Kate Worlds]
* [http://www.heisjohn.com/kate/ The Single File]
* [http://www.antenna.nl/~dinyar/ Bart Dinyar's Discography]
* [http://www.wessex.clara.net/kate/ The Laser File]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Kate Bush Lyrics]
* [http://www.talisman.org/~erlkonig/KT/ Talisman Archive]
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20050205140603/http://members.tripod.com/~BrendanMartin/ The Lost Kate Bush Interview]
* [http://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/kate.bush.html Summary: &quot;The Line, The Cross &amp; The Curve&quot;]
* [http://www.salon.com/people/bc/2001/03/20/kate_bush/print.html Kate Bush] ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)
* [http://www.rollingstone.com/artist/bio/_/id/2069/katebush?pageid=rs.Artistcage&amp;pageregion=artistHeader Brief biography] at ''Rolling Stone''
'''Reviews of ''Aerial'':'''
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial'' (BBC)]
* [http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html &quot;Admit it, guys, she's a genius&quot; - ''The Observer'' (30 October 2005)]
* [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5032773 Kate Bush Returns with 'Aerial'] ([[w:National Public Radio|NPR]] audio review)
* [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece Kate Bush: The sequel&quot;], ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bush, Kate}}

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[[Category:Catholics from England]]
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      <text bytes="131387" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Kate bush 1978 2 (cropped).png|thumb|Just being [[Life|alive]] &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt. &lt;br /&gt; These [[moments]] given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]]. &lt;br /&gt; Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we [[love]]…]]
'''[[w:Kate Bush|Catherine Bush]]''' [[w:Order of the British Empire|CBE]] (born [[30 July]] [[1958]]) is an [[English]] [[singer-songwriter]], [[musician]] and record producer; sister of [[John Carder Bush]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Before The Dawn Costumes.jpg|thumb|[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].]]
[[File:Kate bush 1978 1.png|thumb|What's [[important]] to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.]]
[[File:Kate Bush at 1986 Comic Relief (cropped).png|thumb|The [[important]] [[people]] are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's [[lives]]. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much [[attention]] on something that's so shallow?]] 
[[File:Kate Bush Before The Dawn 2014.jpg|thumb|I'm really very [[happy]] if [[people]] can [[connect]] at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the [[story]] is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the [[world]].]]
[[File:Kate Bush - Hammersmith Odeon (cropped).jpg|thumb| I have [[intentions]] as a [[writer]], but people — when they’re listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song’s about something it isn’t. That doesn’t matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it’s great.]]
 
* '''[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].''' You know... they're just ... as important as... um doctors, and priests ... or maybe not as important sometimes, and yet they have this huge aura of almost god-like quality about them, just because their craft makes a lot of money. '''And at the same time it is a ''forced'' importance — you know, football stars and theatre stars — It is man-made so the press can feed off it.'''
** ''Profiles in Rock'' interview (December 1980)

* '''I was trying to say that, really, a man and a woman, can't understand each other because we are a man and a woman. And if we could actually swap each other's roles, if we could actually be in each other's place for a while, I think we'd both be very surprised! ... And I think it would lead to a greater understanding.''' And really the only way I could think it could be done was either... you know, I thought a deal with the devil, you know. And I thought, &quot;well, no, why not a deal with [[God]]!&quot; You know, because in a way it's so much more powerful the whole idea of asking God to make a deal with you. You see, for me it is still called &quot;Deal With God&quot;, that was its title. But we were told that if we kept this title that it would not be played in any of the religious countries, [[Italy]] wouldn't play it, [[France]] wouldn't play it, and [[Australia]] wouldn't play it! [[Ireland]] wouldn't play it, and that generally we might get it blacked purely because it had God in the title.
** On her song &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;, in a [http://gaffa.org/cloud/music/running_up_that_hill.html Radio 1 Classic Albums interview with Richard Skinner (26 January 1992)]

* For me to get into that creative process I have to have a sort of quiet place that I work from. And '''if I was living the life of ... somebody in the industry, as a pop star or whatever, it's too distracting. It's too to do with other people's perceptions of who you are, and what's important to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.''' &lt;br /&gt; And I think, you know, that's something that's very difficult for people who become extremely famous. I mean, I find it completely ridiculous this obsession with celebrities. ... Why are celebrities so important to people? It's absolute crap. I mean, the important people are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's lives. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much attention on something that's so shallow?
** [http://gaffa.org/reaching/iv05_bbc2_Mark_Radcliff_interview.html Interview on ''The Mark Radcliff Show'', ''BBC Radio 2'' (7 November 2005)]

* '''Now [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|all the shows are over]], it's pretty difficult to explain how I [[feel]] about it [[all]].''' It was quite a [[surreal]] journey that kept its level of intensity right from the early stages to the [[end]] of the very last show. It was also such great [[fun]]. &lt;br /&gt; It was one of the most extraordinary [[experiences]] of my [[life]]. I loved the whole process.... I was really delighted that the shows were received so positively and so warmly but the really unexpected part of it all was the audiences. Audiences that you could only ever [[dream]] of. One of the main reasons for wanting to perform live again was to have contact with that audience.They took my breath away. Every single night they were so behind us. You could feel their support from the minute we walked on stage. I just never imagined it would be possible to connect with an audience on such a powerful and intimate level; to feel such, well quite frankly, [[love]]. It was like this at every single show. &lt;br /&gt; Thank you so very much to everyone who came to the shows and became part of that shared experience. It was a truly special and wonderful feeling for all of us.
** An open letter to her fans about her [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|&quot;Before the Dawn&quot; concerts (26 August 2014 - 1 October 2014)]], in [http://www.katebush.com/news/after-dawn &quot;After the Dawn&quot; at her official &quot;FISH P∑ΩPL∑&quot; site &quot;(22 October 2014)]

* '''[[David Bowie]] had everything. He was intelligent, imaginative, brave, charismatic, cool, sexy and truly inspirational both visually and musically.''' He created such staggeringly brilliant work, yes, but so much of it and it was so good. There are great people who make great work but who else has left a mark like his? No one like him.
** Tribute to David Bowie, in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/jan/17/david-bowie-as-seen-by-deborah-harry-chris-kate-bush-stein-carlos-alomar-julien-temple-edwyn-collins &quot;David Bowie, as remembered by…&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (17 January 2016)]

* I think musicians have a responsibility ''to try and do something that is good.'' It's so hard. It's very difficult to pull something out of the hat creatively. Although I say it's their responsibility, it's really just people trying to do the best that they can.
** As quoted in [https://www.thefader.com/2016/11/23/kate-bush-interview-before-the-dawn &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)]

* '''I'm really very happy if people can connect at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the story is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the world.''' I'm sure with a lot of paintings, people don't understand what the painter originally meant, and I don't really think that matters. I just think if you feel something, that's really the ideal goal. If that happens, then I'm really happy.
** As quoted in &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)

* '''As an artist, you're never happy with anything you do. It's part of the process.''' You're never really happy. I'm certainly not. That's a good thing. It means you're always striving to do better. You hope the next piece will be better.
** As quoted in [https://www.macleans.ca/culture/arts/in-conversation-with-kate-bush/ &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)]

* '''The great thing about art on any level is that it can speak to all people if it's achieved properly.''' When I've heard a piece of music or seen a painting that moves me, it gives me something. That's such an incredibly special experience. I have intentions as a writer, but people — when they're listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song's about something it isn't. That doesn't matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it's great.
** As quoted in &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)

=== MOJO interview (2005) ===
[[File:Flag of WHO.svg|thumb|I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that [[people]] think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the [[world]].]]
:&lt;small&gt;Excerpts from an interview in ''MOJO'' magazine (3 November 2005) as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that people think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the world. '''Y'know, I'm a very strong person and I think that's why actually I find it really infuriating when I read, 'She had a nervous breakdown' or 'She's not very mentally stable, just a weak, frail little creature'.'''

* There were so many times I thought, &quot;I'll have the album finished this year, definitely, we'll get it out this year.&quot; Then there were a couple of years where I thought, &quot;I'm never gonna do this.&quot; If I could make albums quicker, I'd be on a roll wouldn't I? '''Everything just seems to take so much time. I don't know why. Time... evaporates.'''

* ''There was a story that some EMI execs had come down to see you and you'd said something like: &quot;Here's what I've been working on,&quot; and then produced some cakes from your oven. True?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;No! I don't know where that came from. I thought that was quite funny actually. It presents me as this homely creature, which is all right, isn't it?&quot;

* '''For the last 12 years, I've felt really privileged to be living such a normal life. It's so a part of who I am.''' It's so important to me to do the washing, do the Hoovering. Friends of mine in the business don't know how dishwashers work. For me, that's frightening.''' I want to be in a position where I can function as a human being. Even more so now where you've got this sort of truly silly preoccupation with celebrities. Just because somebody's been in an ad on TV, so what? Who gives a toss?'''

== Song lyrics ==

=== ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tki.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Humpback Whale underwater shot.jpg|thumb|right|Moving [[stranger]], &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not [[afraid]] to [[feel]]?]]

'''[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This first track of Bush's first album is a tribute to Bush's mime and dance instructor [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]], and opens and closes with a whale song.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Moving stranger, &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not afraid to feel?'''

[[File:Saxophone alto.jpg|thumb|right|There's something very [[real]] in how I [[feel]], honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you [[know]] it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone…]]
* [[Touch]] me, hold me. &lt;br /&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br /&gt; Try to fall for me.

* '''How I'm moved. &lt;br /&gt; How you move me &lt;br /&gt; With your beauty's potency.'''

'''The Saxophone Song'''

* '''There's something very special indeed, &lt;br /&gt; In all the places where I've seen you shine, boy.''' &lt;br /&gt; There's something very real in how I feel, honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you know it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone...

* '''You'll never know that you had all of me. &lt;br /&gt; You'll never know the poetry you've stirred in me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Of all the stars I've seen that shine so brightly, &lt;br /&gt; I've never known or felt in myself so rightly, &lt;br /&gt; It's in me...

'''[[w:Strange Phenomena (song)|Strange Phenomena]]'''
[[File:Moon rise 2-20-08-3.jpg|thumb|right|Soon it will be the phase of the [[moon]] &lt;br /&gt; When [[people]] tune in.]]

* '''Soon it will be the phase of the moon &lt;br /&gt; When people tune in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Every girl knows about the punctual blues, &lt;br /&gt; But who's to know the power behind our moves?

* '''We raise our hats to the strange phenomena. &lt;br /&gt; Soul-birds of a feather flock together.'''

[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|right| There's a hole in the [[sky]] with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite…&quot;]]
'''Kite'''

* '''There's a hole in the sky with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite, &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight!&quot;'''

* A diamond kite &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the moon, over the moon!

[[File:The Flood, by Paul Merwart.jpg|thumb|right|Suddenly I find [[myself]] &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a [[man]] I've never [[known]] before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the [[sea]], &lt;br /&gt; [[All]] his [[love]], 'til [[Eternity]].]]
'''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]'''

* '''I hear him, before I go to sleep &lt;br /&gt; And focus on the day that's been.''' &lt;br /&gt; I realise he's there, &lt;br /&gt; When I turn the light off and turn over.

* '''Nobody knows about my man. &lt;br /&gt; They think he's lost on some horizon. &lt;br /&gt; And suddenly I find myself &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a man I've never known before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the sea, &lt;br /&gt; All his love, 'til Eternity.'''

* Ooh, he's here again, &lt;br /&gt; The man with the child in his eyes.

'''[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]'''
[[File:Johann Heinrich Füssli 015.jpg|thumb|right|Ooh, it gets [[dark]]! It gets [[lonely]], &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you…]]

* '''Out on the wiley, windy moors &lt;br /&gt; We'd roll and fall in green. &lt;br /&gt; You had a temper like my jealousy: &lt;br /&gt; Too hot, too greedy. &lt;br /&gt; How could you leave me, &lt;br /&gt; When I needed to possess you? &lt;br /&gt; I hated you. I loved you, too.'''

* Bad dreams in the night. &lt;br /&gt; They told me I was going to lose the fight, &lt;br /&gt; Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering &lt;br /&gt; Wuthering Heights.

* Heathcliff, it's me — Cathy.

* '''Ooh, it gets dark! It gets lonely, &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you. &lt;br /&gt; I pine a lot. I find the lot &lt;br /&gt; Falls through without you.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm coming back, love. &lt;br /&gt; Cruel Heathcliff, my one dream, &lt;br /&gt; My only master.

* Ooh! Let me have it. &lt;br /&gt; Let me grab your soul away.

'''James And The Cold Gun'''

* Ooh, James, are you selling your soul to a cold gun?

* You're a coward, James. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from humanity. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from reality. &lt;br /&gt; It won't be funny when they rat-a-tat-tat you down.

[[File:James Barry 001.jpg|thumb|right| Nobody else can [[share]] this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The [[glorious]] [[Unity|union]].]]
'''Feel It'''

* '''Nobody else can share this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The glorious union. &lt;br /&gt; Well it could be love, &lt;br /&gt; Or it could be just lust, &lt;br /&gt; But it will be fun. &lt;br /&gt; It will be wonderful.'''

* God, but you're beautiful, aren't you? &lt;br /&gt; Feel your warm hand walking around. &lt;br /&gt; I won't pull away. &lt;br /&gt; My passion always wins. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-moving in. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-tuning in. &lt;br /&gt; Synchronise rhythm now.

'''Oh To Be In Love'''
[[File:A Love for the Arts by Delacorr.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] the colours look brighter [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new…]]
* '''I could have been anyone. &lt;br /&gt; You could have been anyone's dream. &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to choose our moment?''' &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to make me feel that? &lt;br /&gt; Why did you make it so unreal?

* '''Oh! To be in love, &lt;br /&gt; And never get out again.'''

* All the colours look brighter now. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new. &lt;br /&gt; Slipping into tomorrow too quick, &lt;br /&gt; Yesterday always too good to forget. &lt;br /&gt; '''Stop the swing of the pendulum! Let us through!'''

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Bacchante (1894).jpg|thumb|right| My [[eyes]] were shining on the [[wine]], and your aura…]]
'''L'Amour Looks Something Like You'''

* You came out of the night, &lt;br /&gt; Wearing a mask in white colour. &lt;br /&gt; My eyes were shining &lt;br /&gt; On the wine, and your aura.

* You look like an [[Angels|angel]], &lt;br /&gt; Sleeping it off at a station. &lt;br /&gt; Were you only passing through?

* I'm dying for you just to touch me, &lt;br /&gt; And feel all the energy rushing right up-a-me. &lt;br /&gt; L'amour looks something like you.

[[File:Whirling Dervishes, Konya, Turkey, RMO.jpg|thumb|right|I [[love]] the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the [[beauty]] of rare [[innocence]].]]
[[File:John William Waterhouse - The Crystal Ball.JPG|thumb|right| You don't [[need]] no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We [[humans]] got it [[all]], we perform the [[miracles]].]]
'''[[w:Them Heavy People|Them Heavy People]]'''

* '''Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me...'''

* '''I must work on my mind. For now I realise: &lt;br /&gt; Everyone of us has a heaven inside.'''

* Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. &lt;br /&gt; Them heavy people help me.

* '''They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.''' &lt;br /&gt; They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]]. &lt;br /&gt; They build up my body, break me emotionally. &lt;br /&gt; It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!

* '''I love the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the beauty of rare innocence. &lt;br /&gt; You don't need no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.'''

'''Room For The Life'''

* Hey there, you lady in tears, &lt;br /&gt; Do you think that they care if they're real, woman? &lt;br /&gt; They just take it as part of the deal.

* '''Like it or not, we were built tough, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.'''

* No, we never die for long, &lt;br /&gt; While we've got that little life &lt;br /&gt; To live for, where it's hid inside.

* Like it or not, we keep bouncing back, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.

[[File:Sonnenfinsternis 1999-08-11 1.jpg|thumb|right|I will come [[home]] again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The [[sun]] and the [[moon]] meet on yon hill.]]
'''The Kick Inside'''

* '''I'm giving it all in a moment or two. &lt;br /&gt; I'm giving it all in a moment, for you.'''

* This kicking here inside &lt;br /&gt; Makes me leave you behind. &lt;br /&gt; No more under the quilt &lt;br /&gt; To keep you warm. &lt;br /&gt; Your sister I was born. &lt;br /&gt; You must lose me like an arrow, &lt;br /&gt; Shot into the killer storm.

* You and me on the bobbing knee. &lt;br /&gt; Didn't we cry at that old mythology he'd read! &lt;br /&gt; I will come home again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The sun and the moon meet on yon hill.

=== ''[[w:Lionheart (album)|Lionheart]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_lh.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Fractal nevit 75.png|thumb|right|I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood…]]
'''[[w:Symphony in Blue|Symphony in Blue]]'''

* '''I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood...'''

[[File:The Realm of Rane - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.]]
* When that [[feeling]] of meaninglessness sets in, &lt;br /&gt; Go blowing my [[mind]] on [[God]]: &lt;br /&gt; The [[light]] in the [[dark]], with the neon arms, &lt;br /&gt; The meek He seeks, the beast He calms, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[good]] [[soul]] department.

* '''My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.'''

* '''The more I think about [[sex]], the better it gets.''' &lt;br /&gt; Here we have a [[purpose]] in [[life]]: &lt;br /&gt; Good for the [[blood]] circulation, &lt;br /&gt; Good for releasing the tension, &lt;br /&gt; The root of our [[reincarnations]].

'''In Search Of Peter Pan'''
[[File:Peter Pan 1915 cover 2.JPG|thumb|right|When I am a [[man]] I will be an astronaut, and find [[Peter Pan]].]]

* I no longer see a [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; I've been told when I get older &lt;br /&gt; That I'll [[understand]] &lt;br /&gt; It all. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not sure if I want to.

* '''They took the [[game]] right out of it. &lt;br /&gt; When I am a man &lt;br /&gt; I will be an astronaut, &lt;br /&gt; And find [[Peter Pan]].'''

'''[[w:Wow (song)|Wow]]'''
[[File:Double slit x-ray simulation monochromatic blue-white.png|thumb|right|We [[know]] [[all]] our lines so well… &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many [[times]]…]]

* '''We're [[all]] [[alone]] on the stage [[tonight]].''' &lt;br /&gt; We've been told; we're not [[afraid]] of you. &lt;p&gt; We [[know]] all [[Speech|our lines]] so well, ah-ha, &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many times: &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] and [[Repetition|time again]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Poetry|Line and line again]].

* You say we're fantastic, &lt;br /&gt; But still we don't head the bill. &lt;br /&gt; Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! ''Unbelievable!''

* Ooh, yeah, you're amazing! &lt;br /&gt; We think you are really cool. &lt;br /&gt; We'd give you a part, my love, &lt;br /&gt; But you'd have to play the fool.

'''Don't Push Your Foot On The Heartbrake'''

* Emma's come down. &lt;br /&gt; She's stopped the light &lt;br /&gt; Shining out of her eyes.

* '''Oh, come on, you've got to use your flow. &lt;br /&gt; You know what it's like, and you know you want to go.''' &lt;br /&gt; Don't drive too slowly. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your blues where your shoes should be. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your foot on the heartbrake.'''

'''Oh England My Lionheart'''
[[File:Spitfire-under.jpg|thumb|right|Oh! [[England]], my [[Lion]][[heart]]! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one [[kiss]] in apple-blossom.]]

* Oh! [[England]], my Lionheart! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one kiss in apple-blossom. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one wish, and I'd be wassailing &lt;br /&gt; In the orchard, my English rose, &lt;br /&gt; Or with my shepherd, who'll bring me home.

'''Fullhouse'''
[[File:Kate Bush (15312486456).jpg|thumb|[[Remember]] [[yourself]]. &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight…]]
* '''I am my [[enemy]]''' &lt;br /&gt; Mowing me over, &lt;br /&gt; And towing the light away.

* '''[[Remember]] [[yourself]].''' &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight...
** &quot;Remember yourself&quot; was a motto of [[G. I. Gurdjieff]], whose ideas were an early influence on Bush.

* Surely by now I should know &lt;br /&gt; I can control &lt;br /&gt; My highs and my lows &lt;br /&gt; By questioning all that I do, &lt;br /&gt; Examining every move, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get back to the rudiments.

'''In The Warm Room'''

* In the warm room &lt;br /&gt; She'll touch you with your Mamma's hand. &lt;br /&gt; You'll long to kiss those red lips, &lt;br /&gt; But when you do &lt;br /&gt; It'll feel like kicking a habit.

'''Kashka From Baghdad'''

* Kashka from Baghdad &lt;br /&gt; Lives in [[sin]], they say, &lt;br /&gt; With another man, &lt;br /&gt; But no one knows who.

* At night &lt;br /&gt; They're seen &lt;br /&gt; [[Laughing]], &lt;br /&gt; Loving. &lt;br /&gt; They know &lt;br /&gt; The way &lt;br /&gt; To be &lt;br /&gt; [[Happy]].

'''Coffee Homeground'''

* Well, you won't get me with your Belladonna — in the coffee, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me with your aresenic — in the pot of tea, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me in a hole to rot — with your hemlock &lt;br /&gt; On the rocks.

* Maybe you're lonely, &lt;br /&gt; And only want a little company, &lt;br /&gt; But keep your recipes &lt;br /&gt; For the rats to eat, &lt;br /&gt; And may they rest in peace with coffee homeground.

'''[[w:Hammer Horror (song)|Hammer Horror]]'''
[[File:Victor Hugo-Hunchback.jpg|thumb|right| I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me…]]

* You stood in the belltower, &lt;br /&gt; But now you're gone. &lt;br /&gt; So who knows all the sights &lt;br /&gt; Of Notre Dame?

* Hammer Horror, Hammer Horror, &lt;br /&gt; Won't leave me alone. &lt;br /&gt; The first time in my life, &lt;br /&gt; I leave the lights on &lt;br /&gt; To ease my soul.

* I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me. &lt;br /&gt; So all I want to do is forget &lt;br /&gt; You, friend.

=== ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' (1980) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_nfe.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Old love letters.jpg|thumb|She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do…]] 

'''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'''

* '''She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do: &lt;br /&gt; A pseudonym to fool him. &lt;br /&gt; She couldn't have made a worse move.'''

[[File:Jean Béraud L'escrimeuse.jpg|thumb|right|Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his [[wife]] when she was [[beautiful]].]]
* She sent him scented letters, &lt;br /&gt; And he received them with a strange delight. &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife &lt;br /&gt; But how she was before the tears, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was before the years flew by, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was when she was beautiful.

* Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife when she was beautiful.

'''Delius (Song Of Summer)'''
:&lt;small&gt;A song about the composers [[w:Frederick Delius|Frederick Delius]] and [[w:Eric Fenby|Eric Fenby]].&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rmh1.jpg|thumb|To be sung of a [[summer]] [[night]] on the [[water]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water.]] 

* Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ''Song of Summer'' in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ...in...in...in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; ...in his hand.

* To be sung of a summer night on the water. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; Hmm. &lt;br /&gt; Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; In B, Fenby!&quot;


'''Blow Away (For Bill)'''
:&lt;small&gt;Dedicated to Bill Duffield, Bush's lighting engineer, who died in a stage accident. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.]] 

* One of the band told me last night &lt;br /&gt; That [[music]] is all that he's got in his [[life]]. &lt;br /&gt; So where does it go? &lt;br /&gt; Surely not with his [[soul]]. &lt;br /&gt; Will all of his licks and his R'n'B &lt;br /&gt; Blow away?

* Our engineer had a different idea &lt;br /&gt; From people who nearly died but survived, &lt;br /&gt; Feeling no fear of leaving their bodies here, &lt;br /&gt; And went to a room that was soon full of visitors.

* '''Put out the light, then, put out the light.''' &lt;br /&gt; Vibes in the [[sky]] invite you to dine. &lt;br /&gt; Dust to dust, &lt;br /&gt; Blow to blow.

'''All We Ever Look For'''
[[File:Nefertiti 30-01-2006.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] we ever [[look]] for — a little bit of you.]]

* '''The whims that we're weeping for &lt;br /&gt; Our parents would be beaten for.'''

* Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.

* '''[[All]] we ever look for — a [[god]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — ooh, a [[drug]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a great big hug.''' &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you, too. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for, &lt;br /&gt; But we never do score.

'''Egypt'''
[[File:SphinxGiza.jpg|thumb|right| Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound [[lonely]] [[tonight]].]]
[[File:King_Tut_Ankh_Amun_Golden_Mask.jpg|thumb|right|Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].]]
* '''Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound lonely tonight.''' &lt;br /&gt; The sands run red &lt;br /&gt; In lands of the Pharoahs. &lt;br /&gt; Their symmetry gets right inside me.

* Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].

* My Pussy Queen &lt;br /&gt; Knows all my [[secrets]]. &lt;br /&gt; I'll never fall in love again.

'''The Wedding List'''
[[File:Bride1929.jpg|thumb|right|We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!]]

* Somehow this was it, I knew. &lt;br /&gt; Maybe fate wants you dead, too: &lt;br /&gt; We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

* All I see is Rudi. &lt;br /&gt; I die with him, again and again. &lt;br /&gt; And I'll feel good in my revenge. &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna fill your head with lead &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

'''Violin'''
[[File:Maitelouis1.jpg|thumb|right|Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over…]]
* Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over, &lt;br /&gt; Over the quavers, drunk in the bars, &lt;br /&gt; Out of the realm of the orchestra...

* Get the bow going! &lt;br /&gt; Let it scream to me: &lt;br /&gt; Violin! Violin! Violin!

* Give me the [[w:Banshee|Banshees]] for B.V.s.
** B.V.s : backing vocals.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - A Young Girl Defending Herself Against Eros (1880).jpg|thumb|right| I cannot sit and let something happen I'll [[regret]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he [[scares]] me! There's a [[man]] behind those [[eyes]].]]
'''The Infant Kiss'''
:&lt;small&gt;Ths song was inspired by the film ''[[w:The Innocents (film)|The Innocents]]'' (1961), itself derived from ''[[w:The Turn of the Screw|The Turn of the Screw]]'' (1898) by [[Henry James|Henry James]]. Bush also wrote and sang a French version of this song: &quot;''Un Baiser d'enfant''&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I say good night-night &lt;br /&gt; I tuck him in tight. &lt;br /&gt; But things are not right.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''What is this?'' An infant kiss &lt;br /&gt; That sends my body tingling?

* His little hand is on my heart. &lt;br /&gt; He's got me where it ''hurts'' me. &lt;br /&gt; Knock, knock. Who's there in this baby? &lt;br /&gt; You know how to work me. &lt;br /&gt; '''All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.'''

* I cannot sit and let &lt;br /&gt; Something happen I'll regret. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he scares me! &lt;br /&gt; There's a man behind those eyes. &lt;br /&gt; I catch him when I'm bending.

* I want to smack but I hold back. &lt;br /&gt; I only want to [[touch]]. &lt;br /&gt; But I must stay and find a way &lt;br /&gt; To stop before it gets too much! &lt;br /&gt; All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.

[[File:High Wood cemetery, France.jpg|thumb|right| What a [[waste]] of [[Army]] [[dreamers]]…]]
'''[[w:Army Dreamers|Army Dreamers]]'''

[[File:Operation_Upshot-Knothole_-_Badger_001.jpg|thumb|right|We've lost our [[chance]]. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.]]
* '''What could he do? &lt;br /&gt; Should have been a father. &lt;br /&gt; But he never even made it to his twenties. &lt;br /&gt; What a waste — &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, what a waste of &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers.'''

* Oh, Jesus Christ, he wasn't to know, &lt;br /&gt; Like a chicken with a fox, &lt;br /&gt; He couldn't win the war with ego. &lt;br /&gt; Give the kid the pick of pips, &lt;br /&gt; And give him all your stripes and ribbons. &lt;br /&gt; Now he's sitting in his hole, &lt;br /&gt; He might as well have buttons and bows.

[[File:Ivy King - distance.jpg|thumb|right| I [[love]] my Beloved… [[All]] and everywhere, Only the [[fools]] blew it…]]
'''[[w:Breathing (song)|Breathing]]'''

* '''Outside &lt;br /&gt; Gets inside &lt;br /&gt; Through her skin.'''

* '''Breathing my mother in, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing my beloved in''', &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing her nicotine, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing the fall-out in, &lt;br /&gt; Out in, out in, out in, out in.

* '''We've lost our chance. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.'''

* '''I love my &lt;br /&gt; Beloved, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; All and everywhere, &lt;br /&gt; Only the fools blew it. &lt;br /&gt; You and me &lt;br /&gt; Knew life itself is &lt;br /&gt; Breathing...'''

[[File:Holygrail.jpg|thumb|right| I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.]]

=== [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] (1982) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_td.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Sat in Your Lap|Sat in Your Lap]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song incorporates a bit of Bush's eccentric wordplay: [[w:Sat (Sanskrit)|Sat]] is a [[w:Hinduism|Hindu]] and [[w:Sikhism|Sikh]] term for [[w:Truth|Truth]], or [[w:Knowledge|Knowledge]] related to the concept of [[w:Dharma#Developing_conceptions|Dharma]].&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Some say that [[knowledge]] is something that you never have. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that knowledge is something sat in your lap. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that [[heaven]] is [[hell]]. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that hell is heaven.'''

* I must admit, just when I think I'm king,
:: I just begin.

* '''I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.'''

'''[[w:There Goes a Tenner|There Goes a Tenner]]'''
[[File:Combinatoria.jpg|thumb|right|The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]…]]

* '''The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]. &lt;br /&gt; The [[signal]] has been [[given]].'''

* My excitement &lt;br /&gt; Turns into fright. &lt;br /&gt; All my words fade. &lt;br /&gt; What am I gonna say? &lt;br /&gt; Mustn't give the game away.

[[File:Mills N° 23 MkIII-2.jpg|thumb|right|Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I [[love]] [[life]]!]]
'''Pull Out The Pin'''

* Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I love life!

* He's big and pink, and not like me. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no light. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no [[reason]] for the [[fighting]]...

[[File:Divina - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].]]
'''[[w:Suspended in Gaffa (song)|Suspended in Gaffa]]'''

* '''Out in the [[garden]] &lt;br /&gt; There's half of a heaven''', &lt;br /&gt; And we're only bluffing. &lt;br /&gt; We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; '''Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].'''

* I don't know why I'm crying. &lt;br /&gt; Am I suspended in Gaffa? &lt;br /&gt; '''Not until I'm ready for you, &lt;br /&gt; Not until I'm ready for you &lt;br /&gt; Can I have it all.'''

* '''I won't open boxes &lt;br /&gt; That I am told not to. &lt;br /&gt; I'm not a Pandora. &lt;br /&gt; I'm much more like &lt;br /&gt; That girl in the mirror.''' &lt;br /&gt; Between you and me &lt;br /&gt; She don't stand a chance of getting anywhere at all.

* Mother, where are the [[angels]]? I'm scared of the changes.
** Whispered in a childlike voice.

'''Leave It Open'''

* '''My [[door]] was never locked, &lt;br /&gt; Until one day a trigger come cocking. &lt;br /&gt; (But now I've started learning how,) &lt;br /&gt; I keep it shut.'''

* Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; Harm in us, but power to arm. &lt;br /&gt; Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; ''Leave it open!''

* '''''We let the weirdness in.'''''
[[File:Australie 2 389.jpg|thumb|right|Coming in with the golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; In the [[morning]]. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.]]
[[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|thumb|See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].]] 
'''[[w:The Dreaming (song)|The Dreaming]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song deals with the Australian traditions of [[w:Dreamtime|&quot;The Dreaming&quot;]] &lt;/small&gt;

* '''''See the [[light]] ram through the gaps in the land.'' &lt;br /&gt; Many an Aborigine's mistaken for a [[tree]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Til you near him on the motorway &lt;br /&gt; And the tree begin to breathe.'''

* ''''Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; In the morning. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.'''

* '''The [[civilised]] keep alive &lt;br /&gt; The territorial [[war]]...''' &lt;br /&gt; Erase the race that claim the place &lt;br /&gt; And say we dig for ore, &lt;br /&gt; Or dangle [[devils]] in a bottle &lt;br /&gt; And push them from the ''pull of the Bush.''

* '''See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].'''

'''[[w:Night of the Swallow (song)|Night Of The Swallow]]'''
[[File:Hirundo rustica young male spring NRM.jpg|thumb|right|In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the [[guilty]] — to set them [[free]].]]

* If you go, I'll let the law know, &lt;br /&gt; And they'll head you off when you touch the ground. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, please, don't go through with this. &lt;br /&gt; I don't like the sound of it.

* '''In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the guilty — to set them free. &lt;br /&gt; Wings fill the window, &lt;br /&gt; And they beat and bleed.''' &lt;br /&gt; They hold the sky on the other side &lt;br /&gt; Of borderlines.

* ''Give me a break! &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, let me try! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to show &lt;br /&gt; For my miserable life! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to take! &lt;br /&gt; Would you break even my wings, &lt;br /&gt; Just like a swallow?''

[[File:Tribute in Light Memorial September 9 2004.jpg|thumb|right| Only tragedy allows the release of [[love]] and [[grief]] never normally seen…]]
'''All The Love'''

* '''We needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love us too. &lt;br /&gt; We wait for your move.'''

* '''Only tragedy allows the release &lt;br /&gt; Of love and grief never normally seen.''' &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weep, &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weak, &lt;br /&gt; But I know I have shown &lt;br /&gt; That I stand at the gates alone.

* '''I needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love me too. &lt;br /&gt; I wait for your move.'''

* '''All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love we should have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love you could have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love...'''

[[File:Weiss with mother and wife.jpg|thumb|right|With a [[kiss]] &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the [[key]] &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.]]
'''Houdini'''

* The tambourine jingle-jangles. &lt;br /&gt; The medium roams and rambles. &lt;br /&gt; Not taken in, &lt;br /&gt; I break the circle. &lt;br /&gt; I want this man &lt;br /&gt; To go away now.

* '''With a kiss &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the key &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.''' &lt;br /&gt; With your spit &lt;br /&gt; Still on my lip, &lt;br /&gt; You hit the water.

* '''Rosabel believe, &lt;br /&gt; Not even eternity &lt;br /&gt; Can hold Houdini! &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Rosabel, believe!&quot; '''

'''Get Out Of My House'''

* I will not let you in. &lt;br /&gt; I face towards the wind. &lt;br /&gt; I change into the Mule.

[[File:Lightning02.jpg|thumb|right| There is [[thunder]] in our [[hearts]]…]]

=== ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' (1985) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_hol.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)]]'''

* '''It doesn't hurt me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to feel how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me.

* '''And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with God, &lt;br /&gt; And I'd get him to swap our places, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that road, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that building.'''

* '''You don't want to hurt me, &lt;br /&gt; But see how deep the bullet lies. &lt;br /&gt; Unaware I'm tearing you asunder. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.'''

* '''Is there so much hate for the ones we love? &lt;br /&gt; Tell me, we both matter, don't we?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me won't be unhappy.

* '''C'mon, baby, c'mon darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let me steal this [[moment]] from you [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; C'mon, [[Angels|angel]], c'mon, c'mon, darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let's exchange the [[experience]], oh...'''

* If I only could &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill &lt;br /&gt; With no problems...

[[File:Muir Wood10.JPG|thumb|right| ''It's in the [[trees]]! It's coming!'']]
'''[[w:Hounds of Love (song)|Hounds Of Love]]'''

* ''It's in the trees! &lt;br /&gt; It's coming!''

* I found a [[fox]] &lt;br /&gt; Caught by [[dogs]]. &lt;br /&gt; He let me take him in my [[hands]]. &lt;br /&gt; His little [[heart]], &lt;br /&gt; It beats so fast, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm ashamed of running away &lt;br /&gt; From nothing real — &lt;br /&gt; I just can't deal with this, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm still afraid to be there, &lt;br /&gt; Among your hounds of [[love]]...

* '''Do you know what I really need? &lt;br /&gt; I need love love love love love, yeah!'''

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right| They look down at the ground, missing. But I never go in [[now]]. I'm looking at the Big [[Sky]]…]]
'''[[w:The Big Sky (song)|The Big Sky]] '''

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|You never really [[understood]] me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.]]
* '''They look down &lt;br /&gt; At the ground, &lt;br /&gt; Missing. &lt;br /&gt; But I never go in [[now]].''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm looking at the Big Sky.

* '''You never really understood me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.'''

* This [[cloud]], this cloud — &lt;br /&gt; Says &quot;Noah, &lt;br /&gt; C'mon and build me an Ark.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And if you're coming, jump, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause &lt;br /&gt; We're leaving with the Big Sky.

'''Mother Stands For Comfort'''

* She knows that I've been doing something wrong, &lt;br /&gt; But she won't say anything.

* Am I the cat that takes the bird? &lt;br /&gt; To her the hunted, not the hunter.

* Mother stands for comfort. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will hide the murderer. &lt;br /&gt; Mother hides the madman. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will stay mum.

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen…]]
'''[[w:Cloudbusting|Cloudbusting]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song is sung from the perspective of [[Wilhelm Reich]]'s son Peter, whose memoir ''A Book of Dreams'' inspired it.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I still dream of Orgonon.''' &lt;br /&gt; I wake up crying. &lt;br /&gt; You're making rain, &lt;br /&gt; And you're just in reach, &lt;br /&gt; When you and sleep escape me.

* '''I just know that something good is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen.'''

* '''On top of the world, &lt;br /&gt; Looking over the edge, &lt;br /&gt; You could see them coming.''' &lt;br /&gt; You looked too small &lt;br /&gt; In their big, black car, &lt;br /&gt; To be a threat to the men in power.'''

* I hid my yo-yo &lt;br /&gt; In the garden. &lt;br /&gt; I can't hide you &lt;br /&gt; From the government. &lt;br /&gt; Oh, God, Daddy — &lt;br /&gt; I won't forget...

[[File:Aivazovsky,_Ivan_-_The_Ninth_Wave.jpg|thumb|right|Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.]] 
[[File:PortoCovoJan07-4.jpg|thumb|right|If they find me racing [[wikt:white horse|white horses]], they'll not take me for a buoy…]]
==== The Ninth Wave ====

'''And Dream Of Sheep'''

* '''Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.''' &lt;br /&gt; My [[face]] is all lit up, &lt;br /&gt; My face is all lit up.

* '''If they find me racing [[wikt:white horses|white horses]], &lt;br /&gt; They'll not take me for a buoy.''' &lt;br /&gt; Let me be weak, &lt;br /&gt; Let me [[sleep]] &lt;br /&gt; And [[dream]] of [[sheep]].

* Ooh, their breath is warm &lt;br /&gt; And they smell like sleep, &lt;br /&gt; And they say they take me home. &lt;br /&gt; Like poppies heavy with seed &lt;br /&gt; They take me deeper and deeper.

'''Under Ice'''

* '''There's something moving &lt;br /&gt; Under, under the ice, &lt;br /&gt; Moving under ice, &lt;br /&gt; Through water, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get out of the cold water.''' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Something, someone — help them. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot;

[[File:Wickiana4.jpg|thumb|right|[[Look]] who's here to see you!]]
[[File:Joan of arc interrogation.jpg|thumb|right|''I question your [[innocence]]…'']]
'''Waking The Witch'''

* '''Wake up!'''...''You must wake up!''

* &quot;Don't you know you've kept him waiting?&quot; &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Look who's here to see you!&quot;

* ''I question your [[innocence]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird! &lt;br /&gt; ''She's a [[witch]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; There's a stone around my leg.

* ''What say you, good people?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird...

* &quot;Get out of the waves! Get out of the water!&quot;

'''Watching You Without Me'''

* '''You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying to you.'''

* I should have been home &lt;br /&gt; Hours ago, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here...

[[File:G W Russell Bathers.jpg|thumb|Can't you [[see]] where [[memories]] are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the [[water]] like a [[laughing]] girl. &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] in her [[eyes]] is spawning [[past]] [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; One with the [[ocean]] and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding [[all]] the [[love]] that waits for you here. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
'''Jig Of Life'''
:&lt;small&gt;Co-written with her brother [[John Carder Bush]] &lt;/small&gt; 
[[File:Boelge stor.jpg|thumb|right|Catch us [[now]] for I am your [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; A [[kiss]] on the [[wind]] and we'll make the land. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
[[File:Waves forming at beach.jpg|thumb|right|For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will [[dance]] with me in the sunlit pools. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]]

* '''I'll be sitting in your [[mirror]]. &lt;br /&gt; [[Now]] is the place where the crossroads meet. &lt;br /&gt; Will you look into the [[future]]?'''

* Never, never say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To my part of your life.

* '''&quot;This [[moment]] in time,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said.) &lt;br /&gt; It doesn't belong to you,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said,) &lt;br /&gt; It belongs to me''', &lt;br /&gt; And your little boy and your little girl, &lt;br /&gt; And the one hand clapping: &lt;br /&gt; Where on your palm is my little line, &lt;br /&gt; When you're written in mine &lt;br /&gt; As an old memory?

* Can't you see where memories are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the water like a laughing girl. &lt;br /&gt; Time in her eyes is spawning past life, &lt;br /&gt; One with the ocean and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding all the love that waits for you here. &lt;br /&gt; Catch us [[now]] for I am your future. &lt;br /&gt; A kiss on the wind and we'll make the land. &lt;br /&gt; Come over here to where When lingers, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting in this empty world, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting for Then, when the lifespray cools. &lt;br /&gt; '''For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will dance with me in the sunlit pools. &lt;br /&gt; We are of the going water and the gone. &lt;br /&gt; We are of water in the holy land of water &lt;br /&gt; And all that's to come runs in &lt;br /&gt; With the thrust on the strand.'''
** This is the portion of &quot;Jig of Life&quot; which was actually written as well as spoken by Kate's brother [[John Carder Bush]].

[[File:Shelfcloud.jpg|thumb|right|I was there at the [[birth]], Out of the cloudburst, The head of the [[tempest]]…]]
'''Hello Earth'''

* Watching [[storms]] &lt;br /&gt; Start to form &lt;br /&gt; Over [[America]]. &lt;br /&gt; Can't do anything. &lt;br /&gt; Just watch them swing &lt;br /&gt; With the [[wind]] &lt;br /&gt; Out to [[sea]].

* '''I was there at the [[birth]], &lt;br /&gt; Out of the cloudburst, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[tempest]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Murderer! &lt;br /&gt; Murder of calm...

[[File:Iridescent fog.jpg|thumb|right|The [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Begin]] to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to [[speak]].]]
[[File:Fog over Baffin Bay IMG 9533.jpg|thumb|right| D'you [[know]] what? &lt;br /&gt; I [[love]] you better [[now]].]]
'''The Morning Fog'''

* '''The light &lt;br /&gt; Begin to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to speak. &lt;br /&gt; D'you know what? &lt;br /&gt; I love you better now.'''

* '''I'll kiss the ground.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my mother, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my father, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my loved one, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my brothers &lt;br /&gt; How much I love them.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Dawn (1881).jpg|thumb|right| Stepping out… To where the [[water]] and the [[earth]] caress…]]

=== ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' (1989) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tsw.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''The Sensual World'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJc64xncBt4 Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''He said I was a flower of the mountain, yes, &lt;br /&gt; But now I've powers o'er a woman's body, yes. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out of the page into the sensual world. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out... &lt;br /&gt; To where the water and the earth caress &lt;br /&gt; And the down on a peach says mmh, Yes...'''
** &quot;The Sensual World&quot;; The lyrics of this song are derived from the last lines of ''[[Ulysses (novel)|Ulysses]]'' by [[James Joyce]]. Kate had initially wanted to set much of Molly Bloom's Soliloquy to music, just as Joyce had written it, but when the Joyce estate refused, she altered it enough as to not infringe on copyright. As she explained it in an interview: &quot;The song was saying''' &quot;Yes, Yes&quot; '''and when I asked for permission they said''' &quot;No! No!&quot;.'''

[[File:Sunset Solar Halo at Keys View of Joshua Tree National Park.jpg|thumb|right|Do I look for those millionaires like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would when I could wear the sunset?]]
* Do I look for those millionaires &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would &lt;br /&gt; When I could wear the sunset?

* '''You don't need [[words]] — just one [[kiss]], then another.'''

* '''Stepping out, off the page, into the sensual world.''' &lt;br /&gt; And then our arrows of [[desire]] rewrite the [[speech]]...

* I said, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; But not yet, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; Mmh... Yes.

'''[[w:Love and Anger|Love and Anger]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ipM__nt8fM Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''It lay buried here. It lay deep inside me. &lt;br /&gt; It's so deep I don't think that I can [[speak]] about it. &lt;br /&gt; It could take me [[all]] of my [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; But it would only take a [[moment]] to &lt;br /&gt; Tell you what I'm [[feeling]], &lt;br /&gt; But I don't [[know]] if I'm ready yet. '''

* '''Take away the [[love]] and the [[anger]], &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of [[hope]] holding us together. &lt;br /&gt; Looking for a [[moment]] that'll never happen, &lt;br /&gt; [[Living]] in the gap between [[past]] and [[future]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Take away the [[stone]] and the timber, &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of rope won't hold it together.

* If you can't tell your sister, &lt;br /&gt; If you can't tell a priest, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause it's so deep you don't think that you can speak about it &lt;br /&gt; To anyone, &lt;br /&gt; Can you tell it to your [[heart]]? &lt;br /&gt; Can you find it in your heart &lt;br /&gt; To let go of these feelings...

* We could be like two strings beating, &lt;br /&gt; Speaking in [[sympathy]]...

* We're building a house of the future together. &lt;br /&gt; (What would we do without you?)

* You might not, not think so now, &lt;br /&gt; But just you wait and see — someone will come to [[help]] you.

[[File:Fog-towerbridge.700px.jpg|thumb|right| I can't let you go. If I let you go, you slip into the fog…]]
'''The Fog'''

* '''Just like a photograph, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up. &lt;br /&gt; Just like a station on the radio, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up.'''

* Just like a feeling that you're sending out, &lt;br /&gt; I pick it up. &lt;br /&gt; But I can't let you go. &lt;br /&gt; '''If I let you go, &lt;br /&gt; You slip into the fog...'''

* '''This love was big enough for the both of us. &lt;br /&gt; This love of yours was big enough to be frightened of. &lt;br /&gt; It's deep and dark, like the water was, &lt;br /&gt; The day I learned to swim.'''

* '''Is this love big enough to watch over me? &lt;br /&gt; Big enough to let go of me &lt;br /&gt; Without hurting me, &lt;br /&gt; Like the day I learned to swim?'''

'''Reaching Out'''

:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Be_ITyTMzc YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''See how the [[child]] reaches out [[instinctively]] &lt;br /&gt; To [[feel]] how [[fire]] will feel. &lt;br /&gt; See how the man reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For what he cannot have.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''The pull and the push of it [[all]].''

* Reaching out for that hand to hold. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star that explodes. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for Mama.

* See how the [[flower]] leans instinctively &lt;br /&gt; Toward the [[light]]. &lt;br /&gt; See how the [[heart]] reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For no [[reason]] but to [[touch]]...

'''Heads We're Dancing'''
[[File:Jane Kelly. Psychosis 1.jpg|thumb|You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started…]]
[[File:Hitler, Speer y Breker en París, 23 de junio de 1940.jpg|thumb|Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] ]]

* You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started, &lt;br /&gt; When you walked up to me and you said, &lt;br /&gt;&quot;Hey, heads we dance.&quot;
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9NaEOoOLU4 Audio at YouTube]

* They say that the [[Devil]] is a charming man. &lt;br /&gt; And just like you I bet he can [[dance]].

* Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; A picture of you, a picture of you in uniform &lt;br /&gt; Standing with your head held high &lt;br /&gt; Hot down to the floor but it couldn't be you &lt;br /&gt; It couldn't be you, it's a picture of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]

[[File:Imac G5 20inch.jpg|thumb|right|I [[need]] deeper [[understanding]]. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding…]]
'''Deeper Understanding'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wDDxM1F4xY YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''As the people here grow colder I turn to my [[computer]] &lt;br /&gt; And spend my evenings with it &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[friend]]. '''

* ''Hello, I know that you've been feeling tired. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Hello, I know that you're unhappy. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding….''

* I turn to my computer like a friend. &lt;br /&gt; '''I need deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding...'''

'''Between A Man And A Woman'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orBTGQep1Ts YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Picture couple pregnant woman.jpg|thumb|right|He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the [[truth]] lies somewhere in the middle.]]

* He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

* '''Where [[angels]] fear to tread, &lt;br /&gt; You go rushing in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Stay out of this &lt;br /&gt; You must not interfere &lt;br /&gt; Don't you see this is &lt;br /&gt; Between a man and a woman?

'''Never Be Mine'''

* I look at you and see &lt;br /&gt; my life that might have been &lt;br /&gt; your face just ghostly in the smoke. &lt;br /&gt; They're setting fire to the cornfields &lt;br /&gt; as you're taking me home. &lt;br /&gt; The smell of burning fields &lt;br /&gt; will now mean you and here.

* '''This is where I want to be. &lt;br /&gt; This is what I need. &lt;br /&gt; This is where I want to be, &lt;br /&gt; But I know that this will never be mine.'''

* I want you as the [[dream]], &lt;br /&gt; Not the [[reality]]. &lt;br /&gt; That clumsy good-bye [[kiss]] could fool me. &lt;br /&gt; But looking back over my shoulder &lt;br /&gt; at you [[happy]] without me.

* The thrill and the hurting &lt;br /&gt; Will never be mine.

'''Rocket's Tail'''
[[File:010712 STS104 Atlantis launch glow.jpg|thumb|right|I saw only a stick on [[fire]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Alone]] on its [[journey]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Home]] to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.]]

* I thought you were crazy, wishing such a thing. &lt;br /&gt; I saw only a stick on fire, &lt;br /&gt; Alone on its journey &lt;br /&gt; Home to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.

* I am a rocket &lt;br /&gt; On fire. &lt;br /&gt; Look at me go, with my tail on fire...

'''This Woman's Work'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TupvVpxY_U Video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I know you have a little [[life]] in you yet. &lt;br /&gt; I know you have a lot of [[strength]] left.'''

* '''I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. &lt;br /&gt; I should be [[hoping]], but I can't stop thinking &lt;br /&gt; Of all the things I should've said, &lt;br /&gt; That I never said. &lt;br /&gt; All the things we should've done, &lt;br /&gt; That we never did. &lt;br /&gt; All the things I should've [[given]], &lt;br /&gt; But I didn't.'''

'''Walk Straight Down The Middle'''

* We're calling out for Middle Street.

* '''We hang on to every line, &lt;br /&gt; And walk straight down the middle of it.'''

* He thought he was gonna [[die]], &lt;br /&gt; But he didn't. &lt;br /&gt; She thought she just couldn't cope, &lt;br /&gt; But she did. &lt;br /&gt; '''We thought it would be so hard, &lt;br /&gt; But it wasn't... &lt;br /&gt; It wasn't easy, though!'''

=== ''[[w:The Red Shoes (album)|The Red Shoes]]'' (1993) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_trs.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Rubberband Girl|Rubberband Girl]]'''

* '''See those [[trees]] &lt;br /&gt; Bend in the wind &lt;br /&gt; I feel they've got a lot more sense than me &lt;br /&gt; You see I try to resist...'''

* A rubberband bouncing back to life &lt;br /&gt; A rubberband bend the beat &lt;br /&gt; If I could learn to give like a rubberband &lt;br /&gt; I'd be back on my feet...


'''[[w:And So Is Love|And So Is Love]]''' - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLHLPbEQ-hE Performance on ''Top of the Pops'' (1994)] 

* '''We let it in &lt;br /&gt; We give it out &lt;br /&gt; And in the end &lt;br /&gt; What's it all about? &lt;br /&gt; It must be love.'''

* '''We used to say &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ah Hell, we're young&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But now we see that life is sad &lt;br /&gt; ''And so is love.'' '''

* What really matters? &lt;br /&gt; It's all we've got &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that enough?

* '''All for love &lt;br /&gt; Just for the sake of love.'''

[[File:Pomegranate02 edit.jpg|thumb|right| What am I singing? A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].]]
'''[[w:Eat the Music|Eat the Music]]'''

* '''Split me open &lt;br /&gt; With devotion &lt;br /&gt; You put your hands in &lt;br /&gt; And rip my heart out &lt;br /&gt; ''Eat the music.'' '''

* [[All]] is revealed &lt;br /&gt; Not only women bleed.

* '''What am I singing? &lt;br /&gt; A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].'''

'''[[w:Moments of Pleasure|Moments of Pleasure]]'''

* I think about us diving &lt;br /&gt; Diving off a rock, into another moment...

*&lt;p&gt;'''Just being alive &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt &lt;br /&gt; These moments given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]].'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we love &lt;br /&gt; To those who will survive...'''&lt;/p&gt;

* And I can hear my mother saying &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Every old sock meets an old shoe&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that a great saying?

* Here come the Hills of Time

'''Song of Solomon'''

* '''The [[Song]] of [[Solomon]] &lt;br /&gt; The song of everyone &lt;br /&gt; Who walks the path &lt;br /&gt; Of the solitary [[heart]].'''

* '''The [[soul]] cries out &lt;br /&gt; Hear a [[woman]] singing &lt;br /&gt; Don't want your bullshit, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Just want your [[sexuality]]. &lt;br /&gt; Don't want excuses, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Write me your [[poetry]] in motion &lt;br /&gt; Write it just for me, yeah &lt;br /&gt; And sign it with a [[kiss]].

* I'll do it for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll be the [[w:Rose of Sharon|Rose of Sharon]] for you &lt;br /&gt; Ooh I'll come in a [[hurricane]] for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll do it for you...

[[File:The Golden Bough - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]]…]]
[[File:Franz von Stuck 003.jpg|thumb|right| Gabriel before me, Raphael behind me, [[Michael (archangel)|Michael]] to my right, Uriel on my left side… In the [[circle]] of [[fire]]…]]
'''Lily'''

* ''Oh thou, who givest sustenance to the [[universe]] &lt;br /&gt; From whom all things proceed &lt;br /&gt; To whom all things return &lt;br /&gt; Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]] &lt;br /&gt; As we journey to thy sacred feet''
** Recited by &quot;Lily&quot;

* I said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Lily, Oh Lily I'm so afraid &lt;br /&gt; I fear I am walking in the Veil of Darkness&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And she said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Child, take what I say &lt;br /&gt; With a pinch of salt &lt;br /&gt; And protect yourself with fire&quot;

* Gabriel before me &lt;br /&gt; Raphael behind me &lt;br /&gt; [[Michael (archangel)]] to my right &lt;br /&gt; Uriel on my left side &lt;br /&gt; In the [[circle]] of [[fire]].

'''[[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]]'''
[[File:Solistin Jovana Ivanovic.jpg|thumb|right|She said &quot;just take off my red shoes &lt;br /&gt; Put them on and your [[dream]]'ll come [[true]]…]]

* '''With no [[words]], with no [[song]] &lt;br /&gt; You can [[dance]] the [[dream]] with your body on &lt;br /&gt; And this curve, is your [[smile]] &lt;br /&gt; And this cross, is your [[heart]] &lt;br /&gt; And this line, is your path &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always thought it would be &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be no illusion &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always dreamt about it &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be really happening to ya...'''

* Feel your hair come tumbling down &lt;br /&gt; Feel your feet start kissing the ground &lt;br /&gt; Feel your arms are opening out &lt;br /&gt; And see your eyes are lifted to [[God]] &lt;br /&gt; '''With no words, with no song &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna dance the dream &lt;br /&gt; And make the dream come true...'''

[[File:St Michael Berlin Engel Statue Kiss.JPG|thumb|right| I don't [[know]] if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there…]]
'''Top of the City'''

* '''I don't know if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there.''' &lt;br /&gt; These streets have never been paved with gold.

* It's no good for you baby &lt;br /&gt; It's no good for you now &lt;br /&gt; Keep looking up for the ladder.

* I don't mind if it's dangerous &lt;br /&gt; I don't mind if it's raining &lt;br /&gt; Take me up to the top of the city &lt;br /&gt; And put me up on the [[Angels|angel]]'s shoulders.

'''Constellation of the Heart'''
[[File:Herz aus Feuer.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]] &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the [[heart]].]]

* We take all the telescopes &lt;br /&gt; And we turn them inside out &lt;br /&gt; And we point them away from the big [[sky]]. &lt;br /&gt; Put your eye right up to the glass. &lt;br /&gt; Here we'll find the constellation of the [[heart]]. &lt;br /&gt; '''Steer your [[life]] by these [[stars]] &lt;br /&gt; On the unconditional [[chance]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]]. &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the heart.'''

* Well we think you'd better wake up capt'n &lt;br /&gt; There's something happen'n up ahead &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it before.

* Who said anything about it hurting? &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be beautiful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be wonderful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be paradise. 

* Ooh find me the man with the ladder &lt;br /&gt; And he might lift me up to the stars. 

* ''Without the pain there'd be no learning &lt;br /&gt; Without the hurting we'd never change.''

'''Big Stripey Lie'''
[[File:Louvre renommée mr1824.jpg|thumb|right|Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.]]

* '''All young gentle dreams drowning &lt;br /&gt; In life's grief &lt;br /&gt; Can you hang on to me?'''

* '''Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to. &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.'''

* Hey all you little waves run away. &lt;br /&gt; Mmm... run away.

'''Why Should I Love You?'''
[[File:Vittore Carpaccio 075.jpg|thumb|right|Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.]]

* This chapter says &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Put it out of your mind&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, give it time....

* The fine purple &lt;br /&gt; The purest gold &lt;br /&gt; The red of the Sacred Heart &lt;br /&gt; The grey of a ghost &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;L&quot; of the lips are open &lt;br /&gt; To the &quot;O&quot; of the Host &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;V&quot; of the velvet &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;E&quot; of my eye &lt;br /&gt; '''The eye in wonder &lt;br /&gt; The eye that sees &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;I&quot; that loves you.'''

* Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.

'''You're the One'''

* '''Let's [[change]] things. &lt;br /&gt; Let's danger it up. &lt;br /&gt; We're [[crazy]] enough. &lt;br /&gt; I just can't take it.

* You're the only one I want...

* I know where I'm going. &lt;br /&gt; But I don't want to leave. &lt;br /&gt; I just have one problem &lt;br /&gt; We're best friends, yeah? &lt;br /&gt; We tied ourselves in knots &lt;br /&gt; Doing cartwheels 'cross the floor &lt;br /&gt; Just forget it alright.

=== ''[[w:Aerial (album)|Aerial]]'' (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_aerial.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

==== A Sea of Honey (Disc 1) ====
[[File:Elvis Presley 1970.jpg|thumb|right|[[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a [[happy]] man?]]
'''[[w:King of the Mountain (song)|King of the Mountain]]'''

* '''Could you see the aisles of women? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see them screaming and weeping? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the [[storm]] rising? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the guy who was driving? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb higher and higher? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb right over the top?'''

* [[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a happy man? &lt;br /&gt; In the snow with ''[[w:Citizen_Kane#.22Rosebud.22|Rosebud|]]'' &lt;br /&gt; And King of the Mountain.

* Another Hollywood waitress &lt;br /&gt; Is telling us she's having your baby &lt;br /&gt; And there's a rumour that you're on ice &lt;br /&gt; And you will rise again someday. '''

[[File:PP 1280x1024.jpg|thumb|right|Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive [[nature]] and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For [[numbers]]…]]
'''π'''

* '''Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive nature and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For numbers &lt;br /&gt; And a complete infatuation with the calculation &lt;br /&gt; Of π.'''

[[File:Pi-unrolled slow.gif|thumb|right|He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]]…]]
* He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]] &lt;br /&gt; 3.14159 26535897932 3846 264 338 3279...

'''Bertie'''

* '''Here comes the sunshine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes that son of mine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes the everything &lt;br /&gt; Here's a song and a song for him.

* You bring me so much joy &lt;br /&gt; And then you bring me &lt;br /&gt; More joy...

'''Mrs. Bartolozzi'''

* Oh and the waves are going out &lt;br /&gt; Oh and the waves are coming in &lt;br /&gt; Out of the corner of my eye &lt;br /&gt; I think I see you standing outside &lt;br /&gt; But it's just your shirt &lt;br /&gt; Hanging on the washing line &lt;br /&gt; Waving it's arm as the wind blows by &lt;br /&gt; And it looks so alive &lt;br /&gt; Nice and white &lt;br /&gt; Just like it's climbed right out &lt;br /&gt; of my washing machine...

'''How To Be Invisible'''

* '''I found a book on how to be invisible &lt;br /&gt; You take a pinch of keyhole, &lt;br /&gt; And fold yourself up, &lt;br /&gt; You cut along the dotted lines. &lt;br /&gt; You think inside out. &lt;br /&gt; You're invisible.'''

[[File:Joan-of-Arc-Paris.jpg|thumb|right| [[Joan of Arc|Joanni]] wears a golden cross and she looks so [[beautiful]] in her armour…]]
'''[[Joan of Arc|Joanni]]'''

* '''All the banners stop waving &lt;br /&gt; And the flags stop flying &lt;br /&gt; And the silence comes over &lt;br /&gt; Thousands of soldiers...'''

* '''Who is that girl? Do I know her face?'''

* Joanni, Joanni wears a golden cross &lt;br /&gt; And she looks so beautiful in her armour &lt;br /&gt; Joanni, Joanni blows a kiss to God &lt;br /&gt; And she never wears a ring on her finger...

'''A Coral Room'''

* There's a city, draped in net &lt;br /&gt; Fisherman net &lt;br /&gt; And in the half light, in the half light &lt;br /&gt; It looks like every tower &lt;br /&gt; Is covered in webs &lt;br /&gt; Moving and glistening and rocking &lt;br /&gt; It's babies in rhythm &lt;br /&gt; As the spider of time is climbing &lt;br /&gt; Over the ruins.

* Put your hand over the side of the boat &lt;br /&gt; What do you feel?

* My mother and her little brown jug &lt;br /&gt; It held her milk &lt;br /&gt; And now it holds our memories...

==== A Sky of Honey (Disc 2) ====
[[File:Sturnella neglecta2.jpg|thumb|right|We're gonna be [[laughing]] about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be [[dancing]] around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so [[good]] [[now]].]]

'''Prelude'''

* Mummy... &lt;br /&gt; Daddy... &lt;br /&gt; The day is full of birds &lt;br /&gt; Sounds like they're saying words...
** Spoken by Bush's son, Berty.

'''Prologue'''

* We're gonna be laughing about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be dancing around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good now.

* It's gonna be so good now &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good &lt;br /&gt; Can you see the lark ascending?

* Oh will you come with us &lt;br /&gt; To find the song of the oil and the brush?

'''An Architect's Dream'''
[[File:Psyche et LAmour.jpg|thumb|right|Watching the painter [[painting]] &lt;br /&gt; And all the [[time]], the [[light]] is [[changing]] &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting…]]

* Watching the painter painting &lt;br /&gt; And all the time, the light is changing &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting &lt;br /&gt; That bit there, it was an accident &lt;br /&gt; But he's so pleased &lt;br /&gt; It's the best mistake, he could make &lt;br /&gt; And it's my favourite piece. &lt;br /&gt; It's just great.

'''The Painter's Link'''
[[File:Blackbird-sunset-03.jpg|thumb|right|Who [[knows]] who wrote that [[song]] of [[summer]], &lt;br /&gt; That [[blackbirds]] [[sing]] at dusk…]]

* So all the colours run &lt;br /&gt; See what they have become &lt;br /&gt; A wonderful sunset

'''Sunset'''

* '''Who knows who wrote that song of summer, &lt;br /&gt; That blackbirds sing at dusk, &lt;br /&gt; This is a song of colour, &lt;br /&gt; Where sands sing in crimson, red and rust, &lt;br /&gt; Then climb into bed and turn to dust. '''

* Every sleepy light &lt;br /&gt; Must say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To the day before it dies &lt;br /&gt; In a sea of honey &lt;br /&gt; A sky of honey &lt;br /&gt; Keep us close to your heart &lt;br /&gt; So if the skies turn dark &lt;br /&gt; We may live on in &lt;br /&gt; Comets and stars.

'''Somewhere In Between'''

* '''It was just so beautiful. 

* '''This is where the shadows come to play twixt the day &lt;br /&gt; And night &lt;br /&gt; Dancing and skipping &lt;br /&gt; Along a chink of light

* Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The waxing and the waning wave &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; What the song and the silence says &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The ticking and the tocking clock &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in a dream between &lt;br /&gt; Sleep and waking up &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; Breathing out and breathing in &lt;br /&gt; Like twilight is neither night nor morning

* Not one of us would dare to break &lt;br /&gt; The silence &lt;br /&gt; And, oh how we have longed &lt;br /&gt; For something that would &lt;br /&gt; Make us feel so...

'''Nocturn'''


* Could be in a dream &lt;br /&gt; Our clothes are on the beach &lt;br /&gt; These prints of our feet &lt;br /&gt; Lead right up to the sea &lt;br /&gt; No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; '''No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; We stand in the Atlantic &lt;br /&gt; We become panoramic...'''

* The stars are caught in our hair &lt;br /&gt; The stars are on our fingers &lt;br /&gt; A veil of diamond dust &lt;br /&gt; Just reach up and touch it &lt;br /&gt; '''The sky's above our heads &lt;br /&gt; The sea's around our legs &lt;br /&gt; In milky, silky water &lt;br /&gt; We swim further and further...'''

[[File:Sunrise-Daytona-Beach-FL.jpg|thumb|right|Oh the [[dawn]] has come &lt;br /&gt; And the [[song]] must be [[sung]] &lt;br /&gt; And the [[flowers]] are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of [[language]] is this?]]
* We dive deeper and deeper &lt;br /&gt; Could be we are here &lt;br /&gt; Could be in my [[dream]] &lt;br /&gt; It came up on the horizon &lt;br /&gt; Rising and rising &lt;br /&gt; In a [[sea]] of honey, a [[sky]] of honey.

[[File:SwansCygnus olor edit2.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] of the [[birds]] are [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.]]
* Bright, white coming alive jumping off of the aerial &lt;br /&gt; All the time it's a changing, like now...

* '''All the time it's a changing &lt;br /&gt; And all the dreamers are waking.'''

'''Aerial'''

* '''Oh the dawn has come &lt;br /&gt; And the song must be sung &lt;br /&gt; And the flowers are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of language is this?'''

* I can't hear a word you're saying &lt;br /&gt; Tell me what are you singing &lt;br /&gt; In the sun

* '''All of the birds are laughing &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.'''

=== ''[[w:50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'' (2011) ===
[[File:Metatrons cube.svg|thumb|right|I was born in a cloud… &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.]]
[[File:Heart in snow.jpg|thumb|right|We've been in love forever.]]&lt;!-- [[File:Ka symbol.svg|thumb|right|Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.]] --&gt;
[[File:Cloches du soir.jpg|thumb|right|I can see [[angels]] standing around you. &lt;br /&gt; 
They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it.]]
[[File:Sq door handle.jpg|thumb|right| There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.]]

'''Snowflake''' 

* '''I was born in a cloud... &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Look up and you'll see me. &lt;br /&gt; You know you can hear me. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

* '''I am ice and dust. I am sky.''' &lt;br /&gt; I can see horses wading through snowdrifts. &lt;br /&gt; My broken hearts, my fabulous dances. &lt;br /&gt; My fleeting song, fleeting. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

'''[[w:Wild Man (Kate Bush song)|Wild Man]]'''

* Lying in my tent &lt;br /&gt; I can hear your cry &lt;br /&gt; Echoing round the mountainside &lt;br /&gt; You sound lonely

* [[w:Yeti|You]] were [[playing]] in the [[snow]] &lt;br /&gt; You were banging on the [[doors]] &lt;br /&gt; You climbed up on the roof &lt;br /&gt; Roof of the [[world]] &lt;br /&gt; You were pulling up the rhododendrons &lt;br /&gt; Loping down the mountain &lt;p&gt; They want to know you &lt;br /&gt; They will hunt you down &lt;br /&gt; Then they will kill you &lt;br /&gt; Run away, run away... &lt;p&gt; We found your footprints in the snow &lt;br /&gt; We brushed them all away... &lt;p&gt; You're the [[wild]] man.
'''Snowed In at Wheeler Street'''

* Excuse me I'm sorry to bother you, &lt;br /&gt; But don't I know you? &lt;br /&gt; There's just something about you. &lt;br /&gt; Haven't we met before? &lt;p&gt; '''We've been in love forever.'''

* When we got on top of the hill, &lt;br /&gt; We saw Rome burning. &lt;br /&gt; I just let you walk away. &lt;br /&gt; I've never forgiven myself.

* And I'd never know where you'd gonna be next &lt;br /&gt; But I'd know that you'd surprise me. 

'''Among Angels''' 

* Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.

* '''Aren't we all the same? In and out of doubt. &lt;br /&gt; I can see [[angels]] standing around you.''' &lt;br /&gt; They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it. &lt;br /&gt; And they will carry you o'er the walls. &lt;br /&gt; If you need us, just call.

* '''There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.''' &lt;br /&gt; You might feel it and just not show it.

=== Singles and rarities ===

[[File:Mourning angel.jpg|thumb| [[All]] the [[worlds]] they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier…]]
'''Disbelieving Angel''' (unreleased demo, c. 1973)
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/song/tda.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''So much for all the [[prayers]] you've [[learned]]. &lt;br /&gt; They are no help to basic needs. &lt;br /&gt; And all the worlds they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier.'''

* I feel so sorry for you, &lt;br /&gt; Believing because they control. &lt;br /&gt; And of all the guardian [[angels]] &lt;br /&gt; They chose me to save your soul! &lt;br /&gt; '''Oh, I'm just trying to explain, &lt;br /&gt; I'm a disbelieving angel.'''

'''Passing Through Air''' (1978)

* '''Passing through [[air]]. &lt;br /&gt; You mix the [[stars]] with your arms.''' &lt;br /&gt; Walking through there. &lt;br /&gt; The [[doom]] of [[eternity]] balms. &lt;br /&gt; [[Skies]] of grey are not today.

* Oh! Don't you throw my [[love]] away, &lt;br /&gt; I need your loving, I need your loving...

''' The Magician''' (1979)

* '''When you reach for a [[Stars|star]] &lt;br /&gt; Only [[angels]] are there &lt;br /&gt; And it's not very far &lt;br /&gt; Just a step on a stair &lt;br /&gt; Take a look at those [[clowns]] &lt;br /&gt; And the tricks that they play &lt;br /&gt; In the circus of life &lt;br /&gt; Life is bitter and gay &lt;p&gt; There are clowns in the night &lt;br /&gt; Clowns everywhere &lt;br /&gt; See how they run &lt;br /&gt; Run from despair ...
** This was a song written for the soundtrack of ''[[w:The Magician of Lublin (film)|The Magician of Lublin]]'' (1979), based on the 1960 novel by [[Isaac Bashevis Singer]]; Kate's singing of it appears at times in the background within the film - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkfbkVKmbG0 YouTube video] 

* When the [[fantasy]] bells &lt;br /&gt; Of the [[universe]] ring &lt;br /&gt; You can fly through the [[sky]] &lt;br /&gt; On a dragonfly's wing. &lt;br /&gt; '''There is [[magic]] within &lt;br /&gt; There is magic without &lt;br /&gt; Follow me and you'll learn &lt;br /&gt; Just what life's all about.'''

'''[[w:December Will Be Magic Again|December Will Be Magic Again]]''' (1980)

* ''[[December]] will be [[magic]] again.'' &lt;br /&gt; Take a husky to the ice &lt;br /&gt; While [[w:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]] sings [[w:White Christmas (song)|White Christmas]]. &lt;br /&gt; He makes you feel nice. &lt;br /&gt; '''December will be magic again.'''

* See how I fall like the snow, &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the lovers, &lt;br /&gt; (But don't you wake them up) &lt;br /&gt; Come to sparkle the dark up, &lt;br /&gt; With just a touch of make up. &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the muck up. &lt;br /&gt; ''' Ooh with a little luck — &lt;br /&gt; December will be magic again. '''

* December will be magic again. &lt;br /&gt; Don't miss the brightest star, &lt;br /&gt; Kiss under mistletoe, &lt;br /&gt; '''I want to hear you laugh, &lt;br /&gt; Don't let the mystery go now.'''

[[File:Rosa sp.181.jpg|thumb|Go right to the [[rose]]. Go right to the white rose …]]
'''Warm And Soothing''' (1980)

* Warm and soothing &lt;br /&gt; That's how I remember home. &lt;br /&gt; Walking into arms through the back door &lt;br /&gt; Hearing voices I know well and long for.

* I'm reeling in the music, &lt;br /&gt; And I've only had a few... &lt;br /&gt; And I'm afraid by the way we grow old... &lt;br /&gt; My darling...

'''Under the Ivy''' (1985)
[[File:Efeu Blatt.JPG|thumb| It's not easy for me to give away a [[secret]] — It's not [[safe]]…]]
* '''This little girl inside me &lt;br /&gt; Is retreating to her favourite place. &lt;br /&gt; Go into the garden. &lt;br /&gt; Go under the ivy, &lt;br /&gt; Under the leaves, &lt;br /&gt; Away from the party. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the rose. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the white rose &lt;br /&gt; (For me.)'''

* ''' It's not easy for me &lt;br /&gt; To give away a secret — &lt;br /&gt; It's not safe...'''

[[File:Joseph Mallord William Turner, English - The Burning of the Houses of Lords and Commons, October 16, 1834 - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb| As we cross the [[bridge]] — the burning bridge — With [[flames]] behind us, We front the line. It's you and me, baby, against the [[world]].]]
'''Burning Bridge''' (1985)
* ''' I know it works for me. &lt;br /&gt; As we cross the bridge — the burning bridge — &lt;br /&gt; With flames behind us, &lt;br /&gt; We front the line. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me, baby, against the world.'''

'''Be Kind To My Mistakes''' (1986)
:&lt;small&gt;Song for the film [[w:Castaway (Lucy Irvine)|''Castaway'' (1986)]]; later included in the collection ''This Woman's Work''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I don't know you, &lt;br /&gt; And you don't know me. &lt;br /&gt; It is this that brings us together. '''

'''You Want Alchemy''' (B-side of [[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]] single) (4 April 1994)
[[File:Winged Sun alchemical.jpg|thumb|right|Did you [[know]] they can [[change]] it [[all]]? &lt;br /&gt; They got [[alchemy]].]]

* What a lovely afternoon &lt;br /&gt; On a [[w:Cloudbusting|cloudbusting]] kind of day. &lt;br /&gt; We took our own 'Mystery Tour' &lt;br /&gt; And got completely lost somewhere up in the hills. &lt;p&gt; And we came up on a bee-keeper, &lt;br /&gt; And he said &quot;'''Did you know they can change it all?'''&quot; 

* '''They got [[alchemy]].''' &lt;br /&gt; They turn the roses into gold &lt;br /&gt; They turn the lilac into honey &lt;br /&gt; They're making love for the peaches. &lt;p&gt; '''And they'll do it, &lt;br /&gt; Do it for you.'''

== Quotes about Kate Bush ==
:&lt;small&gt;Arranged alphabetically by author.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Emilybronte retouche.jpg|thumb|right|People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that song. ~ Alan Bentley]]

* '''One of the main things that brings people to the Brontë Museum from all over the world is Kate Bush.''' We have copies of her No 1 hit single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; in our collection of [[Emily Brontë|Brontë]]-related items. '''People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that [[song]].'''
** Alan Bentley, director of the [http://www.bronte.org.uk/Brontë Parsonage Museum]

* To me, Kate Bush will always represent the age of exploring your sexuality, when you change from a girl to a woman. I guess that's what I found fascinating about Kate, she totally stuck out. She created her own look and sound. There's a timelessness to her music.
** [[Björk]]

* I think she is still relevant. It's nice to see people reinvent themselves. She was a great performer and a great singer. I like that song, you know the one, &quot;It's me, I'm Cathy…&quot; I love that song. I remember listening to it growing up.
** [[w:Mutya Buena|Mutya Buena]] of [[w:Sugababes|Sugababes]]

* '''I know this may give her a mystique and make the press all the more curious about her, but that's not the intention; it's not a ploy to get her more attention. She genuinely doesn't see why people should be interested in her personal life and she certainly doesn't like going out to clubs or trendy restaurants. It's just not her.'''
** Paddy Bush, Kate's brother, as quoted in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; by Amy Standen, in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* For me, it's not important how well the songs will be received because I think she's already an amazing influence in what she's done. I listen to her stuff a lot while I sketch and I think there is a weird sense of emotional encouragement in her work. There's something therapeutic in her voice and in her attitude, so that sometimes just listening to it can encourage you or give you some kind of energy.
** [http://www.widemedia.com/fashionuk/fashion/catwalk-archive/lfw-ss01/hc.html Hussein Chalayan, fashion designer]

* I didn't realise how commercially successful she might be. I thought of her more really, I suppose, in the terms of someone like [[Joni Mitchell]] — the level of a lady who's very talented, but would appeal to a more esoteric audience. But she had different ideas.
** [[David Gilmour]] of [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] who helped Kate's career get started.

* '''Kate Bush's celebrated full return to the stage after a 35-year absence is proving that absence makes the heart grow fonder.''' Eight positions of the current British albums chart are occupied by the art-rock icon's albums, according to ''The New York Times'', which sets a new record for the artist, whose 1978 debut single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; made her the first female in British charts history to have a self-written Number One. &lt;br /&gt; In addition to being the only woman in U.K. charts history to have that many albums in the Top 40, Bush is now trailing [[Elvis Presley]] and the [[Beatles]] for having simultaneous Top 40 records; Presley had 12 at one point in his career, while the Beatles, at another time, had 11.
** Kory Grow, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/kate-bush-pens-letter-thanking-fans-following-concert-run-20141022 &quot;Kate Bush Lands Eight Albums on British Chart Following Comeback Shows&quot;, in ''Rolling Stone'' (2 September 2014)]

* One of music's most reclusive and enigmatic figures has re-emerged into what some have seen as a rich era for British female singer-songwriters. Bush's new double album, ''Aerial'', is due out in November, only her eighth after three decades in the business. It will be treated with due reverence.
** Terry Kirby in [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece ''The Independent''] (2 September 2005)

* That's a song where we were listening to a lot of Kate Bush last summer, and we wanted a song which had a lot of tom-toms in it,I just had my daughter up also, and was kind of feeling in a sense of awe and wonderment, so the song is kind of a Kate Bush song about miracles.
** [[Chris Martin]], on the links between [[Coldplay]]'s song &quot;Speed of Sound&quot; and Kate Bush's &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running up that Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;. He later said &quot;we tried to copy the drums, guitar, melody….etc&quot;

* '''Of course she's still relevant. I wasn't actually in the country when her music first came out, so I only discovered it three or four years ago. What's amazing is that something like &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; still sounds so different.''' I actually saw her about nine months ago, we were just passing at an industry event and I went up to her and said I was a big fan and asked her about the new record. She was really excited about it but quite nervous because she felt that everyone was hyping it up a bit and she just wanted to bring out an album. You know, she's a musician.
** [[Katie Melua]]

* Her music remains reassuringly the same ecstatic alchemy of the humdrum and otherworldly. Recalling the hello-clouds wonder of The Big Sky from 1985's ''Hounds of Love'' or the frank paean to menstruation that is Strange Phenomena from her debut, ''The Kick Inside'', ''Aerial'' finds Bush marvelling in the magic of the everyday: the wind animating a skirt hanging on a clothes line, the trace of footprints leading into the sea, the indecipherable codes of birdsong.
** ''MOJO'' magazine as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)

* '''I simply think she is one of the greatest figures in British music over the last 30 years. There are an awful lot of people in the business wandering around claiming to be artists, but she is one of the few who can genuinely make that claim... I don't think there is any competition, she's on a different level and quite outside them all.'''
** Paul Rees, editor of ''Q'' Magazine, as quoted in ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

* Could Keely Garfield be the Kate Bush of downtown dance? The question is raised by “Wow,” the bizarre, hilarious, enthralling, confounding and cathartic new work that Ms. Garfield presented on Thursday at Danspace Project. Surely it is the recent comeback tour of Ms. Bush that has put that singer-songwriter on Ms. Garfield's mind. But it is “Wow” that suggests the comparison: two British-born women, intensely idiosyncratic and theatrical with outlandish taste in costumes, who follow their imaginations uninhibitedly. &lt;br /&gt; The salient difference would seem to be irony. Much of Ms. Bush's power stems from her absolute [[sincerity]], the sense that she is unaware that anyone might find what she's doing ridiculous. But Ms. Garfield has always been wry, droll, deadpan. Her assertion in a program note that she meant “Wow” to be “entirely sincere without a hint of irony or cleverness” cannot and should not be taken as entirely sincere. &lt;br /&gt; The program also credits Matthew Brookshire with “music inspired by the poetry of Kate Bush.” What we actually hear, though, are Kate Bush songs. Some are played in the original recordings, some chopped up and looped, but most are performed live by the marvelous Mr. Brookshire, on vocals and piano, joined by Ms. Garfield and her four terrific dancers. The arrangements are stripped down and seductively vibrant. Some lyrics are recited in a manner between sports cheer and Greek chorus. Some singsongy melodies are swapped for the tunes of actual nursery rhymes. &lt;br /&gt; Ms. Garfield, in other words, does not shy from the naïveté of her material. Much of her choreography illustrates the lyrics literally, in the manner of a children's pageant.
** Brian Seibert, in [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/18/arts/dance/keely-garfield-draws-on-kate-bush-at-danspace-project.html &quot;Sincerity and Irony Meet on the Dance Floor&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (17 December 2014)]

* '''With a voice you either love or hate, she belts out a song with a desperation that grabs you and won't let go.'''
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* Bush has always teetered dangerously at the edge of sentimentality and cliché, and her early songs (what one reviewer called her “soft-focus Victorian melodramas”) could have gone all wrong had her bizarre phrasing not somehow let us know how serious she was. &lt;br /&gt; '''Bush sang melodramas, but she meant them like truth; those “oohs” aren't filler. The conviction in her voice, the baldness and great crushing desperation of it, is overpowering.''' It's the kind of music that grabs your innards and you turn it up, squint your eyes with the strain of it. Kate Bush was younger than 20 when she wrote “Wuthering Heights.” She couldn't (and still can't) read or write music, but she knew how to make a song true, how to up the tension with a key change, repeat the chorus with a hardness in her voice. &lt;br /&gt; She was a prodigy, an 18-year-old who looked 35, with an ethereal voice and a knack for inventive songwriting. She looks, in photos of the time, simultaneously naive and defiant, like someone who doesn't need other people. Much later in life, when she was asked in an interview with ''Rolling Stone'' why she toured so infrequently, Bush replied: “'''The more I got into presenting things to the world, the further it was taking me away from what I was, which was someone who just used to sit quietly at a piano and sing and play. It became very important to me not to lose sight of that.'''” &lt;br /&gt; In other words, Bush decided early on that our approval didn't matter. She was doing this from herself and largely for herself and if people didn't like her, or if they didn't understand her, well then, screw them.
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* I'm really looking forward to Kate Bush's return — I'm no expert on her work but I know some of it and I think she's an incredibly original and talented artist. Anyone who writes most of an album like her first album, ''The Kick Inside'', at 15 years old has got to be pretty special.
** [[w:KT Tunstall|KT Tunstall]]

* '''When EMI invites a group of journalists to the Royal Academy of Music, in London, for a one-off listen to Kate Bush's new album, they are sending a clear signal — this album is not to be dismissed lightly.'''
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is, in a sense, a lyric poem set to music. Full of lush, fecund melodies which swing from jazz to rock, it is threaded through with bird song and chatter and feels distinctly organic and earthy.... Side two is the album Pink Floyd might have made if Kate Bush had been their lead singer and lyricist in 1979.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)
** '''Bush has written a lyric poem set to music, which has an epic quality, transporting the listener to a deeply lush and fertile landscape.''' Lyrically cryptic, but strangely seductive, side two is the album [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] might have made in 1979 if Bush had been their lead singer. &lt;br /&gt; '''Concept albums are not everyone's cup of tea — but this is a masterpiece.'''
*** Variant in a later [http://web.archive.org/web/20090115012224/http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/release/fprg/ BBC summary review] 

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is a celebration of song itself, which has a child's joyful lack of inhibition about it — Kate Bush is heard laughing freely towards the end while a young child, possibly her son, is heard several times... Aerial stands alongside The Hounds of Love and The Kick Inside as her finest work.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* I always heard about Kate Bush being considered one of the most influential female artists during the modern era of pop/rock music, but never understood what her appeal was... But when I recently stumbled upon her debut 1978 single, &quot;Wuthering Heights,&quot; I found myself spending hours absorbing as much of her pre-1985 material as possible . . . Listening to an early Kate Bush album brings you far, far, away to a dreamworld filled with pixies and love and Peter Pan and pure hearts . . .''' &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; and the rest of ''The Kick Inside'' display all of Bush's trademarks: a literary consciousness; flourishing, heartfelt waves and the ability to successfully incorporate just about every eccentric vocal style you've never heard into each song.'''
** Jared Wolfe, in ''The Cornell Daily Sun'' (20 October 2005)

* '''Illusion, dance, mime, even magic — the Tour of Life, as it was called, had the lot.''' &lt;br /&gt; I shan't forget the way those [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]]-like whale sounds that open The Kick Inside album heralded Kate's entry to the stage as waves were projected on huge screens and her band launched into Moving. &lt;br /&gt; For a split second, the audience thought Kate was lip-synching because there was no microphone, but in pre-dating Madonna by a couple of decades, she was wearing a headset to allow free movement around the stage. &lt;br /&gt; Every song from that first album was performed before the switch to stuff from follow-up Lionheart, virtually every number warranting a change of costume and stage set. ... '''The entire show was pure theatre.'''
** Jade Wright, quoting a fan who was at the opening of Kate's one and only musical tour, in [http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-entertainment/liverpool-arts/2007/10/29/kate-bush-at-the-empire-april-3-1979-100252-20025105/ &quot;Kate Bush at the Empire, April 3, 1979&quot; by Jade Wright in the ''Liverpool Echo'' (29 October 2007)]

=== The Unique Poetry Of Kate Bush (1985) ===
[[File:Rosen - Frederick Delius.jpg|thumb|Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her [[music]] will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it. ~ Sue Hudson]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/reaching/i85_hifi.html Review by Sue Hudson] in ''Hi-Fi &amp; Record Review'' (December 1985)&lt;/small&gt;

* We've been holding our breath for a long time. Three years of playing the old songs and wondering &quot;whatever next?&quot; Would it be even weirder than ''The Dreaming?'' Would it leave more admirers by the wayside, shaking their heads?... The real fans will happily go along for the ride, even if she isn't going the pretty way. 

* '''Kate journeys into new and exciting territories. She is an original in a [[music]] [[world]] dominated by cover versions, regressive movements and identikit superstars.''' The direct opposite of the archetypal rock star: compulsively introvert in a world of screaming extraverts, middle-class and deeply English amid England's all-pervasive working class American ethos, boldly feminine in rock's macho climate. '''Her melodic genius and articulate lyrics make the rest seem moronically simplistic.'''

* After a thousand songs on the theme of boy-meets-girl-boy-loses-girl or Thatcher's Britain, exposure to her music comes as an imaginative release as we go giddily flying into the limitless possibilities of the poetic viewpoint. Here is talk of whales, of Peter Pan, kites, Houdini, mysticism... '''Acquaintances have observed, &quot;She lives in a world of her own.&quot; But it's a world that lives within [[all]] of us, and her [[songs]] shine [[light]] into neglected areas of our [[minds]].'''

* Her subjects come tripping from library shelves, television and cinema screens and musty books of fairy tales, the stuff that dreams are made of. She spins tunes that haunt, twist and turn the mind, triggering long forgotten moods. Listening intently to her albums is an experience akin to having a lucid and feverish dream. [[Jungian]] [[symbols]] of youth, [[innocence]], [[spiritual]] escape and the dark, feminine realm abound. [[Ghosts]] haunt the black vinyl grooves... But it's not all brooding intensity. There are [[jokes]], too...

* '''It's a mischievous [[paradox]] that, while rock at its ultra-macho best is exhilarating and energizing, yet just at the moment when it is most strident and loud it leaves you needing something more. Then along comes a shy doctor's daughter from Welling who out-screams the best, out-powers the noisiest and tops it with the satisfying impact of musical and psychological depth.''' It's almost [[Richard Wagner|Wagnerian]].'''

* '''Her [[talent]] was precocious.''' &quot;The Saxophone Song&quot; and &quot;The Man With the Child in His Eyes&quot; were recorded as demo tapes when Kate was still at school. The first album, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978), caused tremendous media interest and is still the public's favourite. '''Her [[voice]], criticized at the time, was small and childlike, the range erratic, if impressive. Since then it has improved enormously, deepening and gaining power and flexibility, until now it is a great asset, individual and capable of both subtle and stunning effects.'''

* The album ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' came next and starts in happy mood, with a summer night of a cha-cha-cha tribute to a new-found hero, &quot;[[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]]&quot;. The philosophic All We Ever Look For creates a remarkable and rare mood of reassurance and upbeat resignation, a Bush specialty . . . The end comes in the horrifying &quot;Breathing&quot;, a vision of the nuclear holocaust through the eyes of an unborn child.

* On to ''[[w:The Dreaming|The Dreaming]]'', a strange, alien album full of [[mysticism]] and obscurantae. Its impact owes much to sheer production quality. Kate has gradually taken over this aspect of her records since ''[[w:Lionheart|Lionheart]]'', and each LP is technically more impressive. Her voice here is forward and strong and, on &quot;Leave It Open&quot;, deliberately distorted to create a surreal effect. Get Out of My House is a shattering trip into madness, with a stunning culmination which finds Kate braying like a mule amid a chorus of Indian drum talk.

* The new album, ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'', breaks new ground for Kate with the b-side. This is a story — The Ninth Wave — told in a series of songs, like a Pink Floyd concept album.

* '''Casual listeners will miss the depth of the music.''' You must sit down with the lyric sheet and find out what's going on. All the vocal acrobatics and weird sounds click into place when you know what ideas, stories and situations they are expressing. In most rock and pop, the music and words may be linked, but are basically separate. '''Kate creates, more and more, a fusion between the two — the sounds directly expressing the subject.''' This is a throwback to Wagner's music-drama, with its leitmotifs, turning music into an idea. The [[Beatles]] revived the technique, and bands of the hippy era like [[Pink Floyd]] carried the banner. . . Kate is fast becoming a master in the use of this sonic montage, perhaps because the ideas she is using are far more complex, have more &quot;resonances&quot;, than those of her contemporaries.

* '''Kate will never be an academic artist, drily applying intellectual music theory to the delight of a handful of peers, forging into new areas for the sake of &quot;progress&quot;. Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her music will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it.''' I just hope that she will have the confidence to follow her instincts and not be discouraged by the music press, who in the main are baffled and annoyed by her uniqueness. Unable to pigeon-hole her music, they turn instead to ridicule and condescension to fill the pages. Which is a disservice to the British public who, to their undying credit, have made Kate Bush such a popular success.

===Kate Bush rules, OK? (2005) ===
[[File:Let Love Rule.jpg|thumb|right|Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Article by [[w:Michael Berkeley|Michael Berkeley]], published in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1589379,00.html ''The Guardian''] (11 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* When the conductor Richard Hickox rang me one day in 1984 to ask if I could help with a rather unusual job for which he and his choir had been engaged, I was intrigued. Kate Bush, it transpired, was working on her new album, ''Hounds of Love'', and for one track, Hello Earth, she wanted a chorus to recreate the orthodox singing/chanting that made such a contribution to the film ''[[Nosferatu]]''.

* '''I had always considered Kate Bush truly original both as a performer and as a songwriter with an unusually fresh sense of harmony.''' If her new album next month is awaited with some excitement after a long fallow period, then in 1985 it was assumed that ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' would be something of a final fling at the conclusion of a waning career. '''I soon realised how wrong this assumption was when Kate sent me a cassette''': it was zany, ambitious and yet utterly Kate Bush, but with gaps where I was to do her bidding. Having chatted at length, she sent me a long letter with the words of the song and precise instructions on how it should unfold...''' Structure was carefully delineated, verses and choruses written out fully and marked up in colour, and she talked of the sound quality in the most graphic terms.'''

* '''Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.''' I have always been fascinated by the difference of dynamics at work between popular artists and conventionally trained classical musicians, and had a similar experience with [[The Edge|the Edge]], of [[U2]], when we worked together on the score of a film called ''Captive''. '''In fact, gifted &quot;pop&quot; musicians like Bush and U2 are far more demanding of themselves in the studio than classical musicians can afford to be, and will spend days working on a tiny fragment.'''

* Come the recording day, a group of male choristers, more accustomed to singing church services than backing vocals, descended on Bush's home, which was equipped with its own studio. Doubtless they were imagining that they were about to meet a wild-eyed rock babe, but Kate, quiet and unassuming — the kind of sympathetic, slightly shy girl who greets you from behind the counter at the local chemist — introduced us to her friend the bass player [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], who engineered the session. None of the singers or Richard had ever gone over and over four or five phrases so exactingly. No measure of Bach or Mozart had, in their experience, been subjected to such surgical scrutiny, and I began to worry that their voices might begin to tire. '''But Bush knew and got what she wanted and &quot;Hello Earth&quot; is, I think, a remarkable track on the album that finally broke the American market and established her as an iconic and hugely influential figure. I can't wait to hear what she has been up to now.'''

=== Admit it, guys, she's a genius (2005) ===
[[File:Genius logo.png|thumb|right|For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html Article by Kitty Empire, in ''The Observer''] (30 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.''' ... Before disgust stopped me getting dragged into these skirmishes, I had a ready arsenal of Girl Greats — [[Patti Smith]], [[Björk]], [[w:Nina Simone|Nina Simone]], [[w:Delia Derbyshire|Delia Derbyshire]], [[w:Polly Harvey|Polly Harvey]], and so on. And yet, there would often be some caveat why genius eluded my candidates (ripped off Dylan etc). '''Until we would get to Kate. Female genius? Kate Bush. End of. &lt;br /&gt; ''Aerial'', the first Kate Bush album in a young lifetime (12 years), re-establishes the fact. It is extraordinary — jaw-dropping, no less.'''

* ''Aerial'' succeeds because it's all there for a reason. And because the good stuff is just so sublime. 'King of the Mountain', Bush's Elvis-inspired single, is both a fine opener and a total red herring. Bush's juices really get going on 'Pi', a sentimental ode to a mathematician, audacious in both subject matter and treatment. The chorus is the number sung to many, many decimal places. It's closely followed by a gushing ode to Bush's son, Bertie, that's stark and medieval-sounding. The rest of disc one (aka ''A Sea of Honey'') sets a very high bar for disc two, with the Joan of Arc-themed 'Joanni' and the downright poppy 'How to Be Invisible' raising the hair on your arms into a Mexican wave. &lt;br /&gt; Disc two, subtitled ''A Sky of Honey'', is a suite of nine tracks which, among other things, charts the passage of light from afternoon ('Prologue') to evening ('An Architect's Dream', 'The Painter's Link') and through the night until dawn. Things get a little hairier here.

* '''It's clear Bush is still a force to be reckoned with. The problem, though, with female genius — for many men at least — is that very frequently it is not like male genius. And with its songs about children, washing machines going 'slooshy sloshy', Joan of Arc, Bush's mother, not to mention the almost pagan sensuality that runs through here like a pulse, Aerial is, arguably, the most female album in the world, ever.''' ... the artistry here is so dizzying, the ambition and scope so vast, that even the deafest, most inveterate misogynist could not fail to acknowledge it. '''Genius. End of.'''

=== Kate Bush: Finally, something for the grown-ups (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''The Independent'' (31 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Such is the idiosyncratic nature of her work that she could probably disappear for a half-century and still sustain her own unique position in the pop firmament.''' But then, who else would write about an obsessive-compulsive housewife or attempt a vocal duet with trilling birds, or, in the most courageous of the album's many unusual strategies, sing huge strings of numbers, a gambit that brings new meaning to the old critic's chestnut about being happy to listen to someone singing the telephone directory?

* Many years ago, back near the start of her career, she regarded the domestic demands of motherhood as a dubious prospect, claiming her work was her love, and how could she do that and bring up a child at the same time? The answer, presumably, was not to work for a dozen years.

* She has always freely admitted being like a little girl in many ways, and furthermore, happily presumes she'll still be that way in her dotage. It's certainly still a factor on ''Aerial'' , both in the track &quot;Bertie&quot; itself and in the memories and reminiscences that cobweb some other songs. But compared to the darker corners of the mind sometimes mined in earlier songs, the new album seems a much sunnier affair: an enduring image I took away from it — not necessarily a lyric, though it might have been — was of windows flung wide open, their curtains billowing out in the breeze, a room's long-dormant dust stirred into life again.

* She's unafraid, too, of tackling more problematic areas of sexuality, as for instance when she dealt with cradle-snatching in &quot;The Infant Kiss&quot; and incest in &quot;The Kick Inside&quot;. But not all that seems erotic in her music is about sex, as an EMI employee discovered when he found her working on the hypnotic &quot;out-in-out-in&quot; chant section of &quot;Breathing&quot; (from 1980's ''Never For Ever''), and expressed outrage at EMI's young pop princess making such an overtly sexual record. The song is, of course, about breathing. Duhhh!

* At around an hour and a half, Aerial is unquestionably a substantial piece of work, and its manifold peculiarities and quirks offer much more interesting fare than that available from today's AOR mainstream. It's also a more mature undertaking than any of her previous albums, an extended meditation on art and light, fame and family, creativity and the natural world. Indeed it seems, come to think of it, like an expansion of the theme of Laura Veirs' gorgeous &quot;Rapture&quot;. And since that was the finest song of last year, I'd have to say that leaves Kate Bush still operating at the cutting-edge of intelligent adult pop, every bit as relevant now as at any point in her career. Just a little bit weirder, thank heavens.

=== ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014) ===
[[File:Viv Albertine.jpg|thumb|&quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; … this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'' ~ [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]] ]] 
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of various people from the BBC documentary [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4sLwt8mhZs ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014)], listed alphabetically.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Tori Amos 2 pianos.jpg|thumb|I remember, I had to pull over, and [[listen]] to it, because I'd never [[heard]] anything like it. ~ [[Tori Amos]] ]]
[[File:Big Boi Counterpoint.jpg|thumb|That's [[w:Running Up That Hill|one of like my all-time favorite songs]], dude … every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord. ~ [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]] ]] 
[[File:St Vincent by Sachyn Mital.jpg|thumb|You don’t ever get the sense that she's making [[music]] to pander to anyone. I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her [[true]] [[vision]] whenever you get a Kate Bush record. ~ [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]] ]]
[[File:Peter Gabriel Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|Kate's wonderful [[voice]] is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of [[love]] out there for them. ~ [[Peter Gabriel]] ]]
[[File:Gaiman-headshot.jpg|thumb|One of the things I [[love]] about Kate Bush is her absolute [[ability]] to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them [[work]]. ~ [[Neil Gaiman]] ]]
[[File:David Gilmour - live 8 - edited.jpg|thumb|I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; ~ [[David Gilmour]] ]]
[[File:Elton John in Norway 5.jpg|thumb|[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|That record she did]] with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my [[life]]. ~ [[Elton John]] ]]
[[File:Miss Khan.jpg|thumb|She seems to have an endless kind of [[ability]] to put herself in and with [[empathize]] with different [[characters]] and viewpoints. ~ [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]] ]]
[[File:John Lydon at the Hammersmith Odeon, 2008-09-02 (4).jpg|thumb|My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] … It’s a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things. ~ [[John Lydon]] ]]
[[File:Lindsey Kemp Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|I got back to my [[home]] … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn’t know she had any aspirations of being a [[singer]]. She never talked about herself. ~ [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]] ]] 
[[File:Tricky mp3h1943.jpg|thumb|I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to. … When I first heard [[Billie Holiday]], I'd never heard anything like that in my [[life]] — the same with Kate Bush. ~ [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]] ]]

* When Kate Bush came along, sort of '78, I was in [[w:The Slits|The Slits]] , and I remember I was sitting in a van outside our singer's house, waiting to do a gig, and &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; And I kept waiting for the melody to repeat, because, you know, at that time, pop music was very much Radio One, you know it was repeating melodies very quickly, and '''this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'''''
** [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]]

* '''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'s just one of those song's you just can't get out of your head, can you?''' You know, how she just takes a word, and you start seeing images and pictures. To a word that maybe you haven't used ... it's &quot;Babooshka&quot; and she's turned that into an emotion, that's just how she's able to use a combination of a word and a combination of a melody and the rhythm of that, and it creates a new language.
** [[Tori Amos]]

* I just remember pulling aside, I was driving, and I heard it on the radio, in the states — and she didn't really get played a lot in the states, until that song — that really got played — a lot. '''I remember, I had to pull over, and listen to it, because I'd never heard anything like it.'''
** [[Tori Amos]], on first hearing &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* The intention is to tell a story, to create a sonic world for us, a sonic ''painting'', for us to walk into, without having to see her. She's transcending that. '''She's [[choosing]] to transcend that. And that's a very powerful thing to do.'''
** [[Tori Amos]]

* '''I don't think she's ever particularly wanted to &quot;play the game&quot;, has she?''' But when you've done ''great'' work, like she's done, and then you retract from the public, people almost have to make up their own version of you, don't they?
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]]

* I've spent ''many, many'' hours listening to that 30 minutes of [[music]]. It's an incredible piece of music, and '''I would advise anyone who's never heard it to go and listen to it, because it's one of the ''[[great]]'' pieces of music.'''
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]], on &quot;The Ninth Wave&quot; section of ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]''

*'''She's sort of stretching the fabric, not just of her [[voice]], but of the whole kind of pop form.''' ... It's like a child, it's like a kind of reveling in what her voice can do. 
** [http://katherineangel.com Katherine Angel], on Kate's singing

* '''It's as if, within her voice, there's ''[[everything]]'' — every possible facet of [[human]] [[experience]] is their under her surface, and her [[work]] as a [[writer]] is to constantly draw that out'''. Not just the particularity of her experiences as a female body, but her experience as a person, which is to be prey to all kinds of forces and sensations. 
** Katherine Angel

* '''That's one of like my all-time favorite songs, dude.''' Music is supposed to evoke [[emotion]], you know what I'm saying, It makes you feel a certain way, you know, that's what the vibrations are. Its, its not stagnant, its not just, not just plain — '''every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord.'''	
** [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]], on &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* '''You can hear one note of a Kate Bush song, or one note of her voice even, and know immediately what it is.''' And that is the biggest feat of any artist, especially when you consider, you know, all the roads that she's gone down. 
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on Bush's singing 

* '''For that to have come out of someone's brain, period, is a remarkable feat.''' For that to have come out of someone's brain, at 17 years old — ''this incredible song'', ''incredible'' song ... there aren't that many ''amazing'' pop songs that have two or three key changes in them —‚ and I'm not talking about some modulations, I'm talking: &quot;Okay, now we're in the key of Q.&quot; It's like ''WHAT?'' But it's so brilliant, it's so memorable. I always karaoke that song — ''if I drink enough.''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* I read an interview with her one time, where she was asked, something along the lines of &quot;Why do you write from the perspective of a lot of characters?&quot; and she said very simply and eloquently &quot;because they're more interesting than I am.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''I'm convinced that, as great as that record sounds, if you had anyone else sing it, you know, anyone else try to kind of weave and make it do that thing where it burns like wildfire and it comes alive, ''no one else could do it.''''' It's incredible the way she kind of brings this cold arctic atmosphere, It's just like fire, you know? It's like all ''aaarh'' coming out of her mouth. ... and now I'm listening to the song in my head. &quot;Do you know what I really need? Do you know what I really need? I need lalalala yea yo yea yo your ''love''.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:The Sensual World (song)|The Sensual World]]&quot;

* I still remember going to the CD store and buying ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' when I was 16, and the cover — there was a [[rose]] in front of her mouth, that has bloomed, she's got big wide eyes, and '''I remember, you know, putting it on the shitty car stereo on the way home, you know — ''and my life was forever changed.'''''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''You don't ever get the sense that she's making music to pander to anyone.''' I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her true vision whenever you get a Kate Bush record.
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* She's a gift for satirists. Of course it's easy, because dull artists, especially in pop music, are very difficult to satirize. It's all there on a plate wasn't it?
** [[Steve Coogan]]

* '''I was called by my agent, who said &quot;Would you like to record a track with Kate Bush?&quot; To which there is ''only'' F-ing one possible answer.''' Unless its me ''singing''. I said, &quot;She does know I can't sing?&quot; &quot;No-no-no, it would be voicing, saying words for snow. … I still can't believe it says &quot;Kate Bush-Stephen Fry.&quot; 
** [[Stephen Fry]], talking about his work with Kate on ''[[w: 50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'', and the credits on the album.

* '''She has a very intense poetic mind.''' That's what makes it — ''that voice'' that comes in.
** [[Stephen Fry]], listening to ''50 Words for Snow''

* '''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] is still one of those things, which right from the get-go ... has its own life, because it's just a great song.''' ... For all the time that she or I or anyone spend decorating and creating moods, its actually the key element of what your saying, the melody and the chords which still speak louder than all the stuff around, on a great song. 
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* Creativity comes from the freedom to fail. And freedom to fail comes from experimentation, and that's what gives something its individuality. And, you know, '''I think her courage, which is the positive way of interpreting it, or bloody-mindedness, which is the negative, is part of what gives her real value as an artist.'''
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* It's extraordinary what that song has been used for — I think a lot of people who have gotten into trouble, have attached themselves to that song, and I think a lot of it is Kate's wonderful voice is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of love out there for them.
** [[Peter Gabriel]], on his duet with Kate on his song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* '''I'd never heard anything like it before. It was like [[w:banshee|banshee]] [[music]].''' This absolutely otherworldly voice, singing about a [[book]], and as a bookish kid, I was always fascinated by anything, any music that seems to be about or inspired by books.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* '''One of the things I love about Kate Bush is her absolute ability to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them work.''' [[James Joyce]]'s ''[[Ulysses]]'' — one of the greatest passages in all of English or Anglo-Irish literature, is Molly Bloom's glorious soliloquy ending in a sequence of Yeses. It's about embracing the [[world]] of the [[senses]], embracing [[yourself]], embracing [[sex]], embracing [[love]], embracing the [[future]], embracing ''[[all|all]]'' possibility, and it goes all the way back to me, to &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; — this is somebody who is not afraid of books. '''This is somebody who is not afraid of reading, somebody who's not afraid of writers, and who's not afraid of ''translating'', being an intermediary, being a [[door]], between the world of books and the world of rock.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Kate Bush makes a record, and you don't hear from her. And you play the stuff she has made, and one day you are surprised, and she brings out something else, and she's been quietly working away on it, for however long she wanted to work on it, and I love that. '''I love the willingness to be quiet, until its time to speak — which is something that she does over and over.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Its funny no one ever applies the term &quot;progressive rock&quot; to Kate Bush, but to me its prog. It's the same think I love about the best prog, it's like, the really sort of brash stuff, people showing technical ability, I have no interest in, but the experimental dreamy stuff, that sort of came from many places at once, I set her stuff next to, well next to [[Janis Joplin|Janis]], is the obvious comparison... 
** [[w:Guy Garvey|Guy Garvey]]

* '''I had a listen, I was intrigued ... by this strange voice, and I went to her house, met her parents down in Kent, and she played me, it must have been forty or fifty songs, on tape, and I thought, I should try to do something.''' ... We were making — [[Pink Floyd]] was making the ''Wish You Were Here'' album, and I think we had the record company people down at Abbey Road, in number 3, and I said to them &quot;Do you want to hear something I've got? And they said &quot;sure&quot;, so we found another room, and I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; 
** [[David Gilmour]], on first hearing 15 year old Kate's demo tapes, and meeting with her.

* '''It is absolutely beautiful, isn't it?''' And its a sort of over two years before any of the other recordings she did. That is her singing at the age of 16, and having written those extraordinary lyrics — about whatever they're about.
** [[David Gilmour]], listening to [[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] 

* This is a whole universe I can dive into — and for me, it was very ''avant-garde'', and expressive and kind of from a complete different planet to everything else that you see from the eighties ... it's like she was definitely out their on her own. ... '''She seems to have an endless kind of ability to put herself in and with empathize with different characters and viewpoints.'''
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

* I really ''thank'' Kate, because these touchstones like &quot;This Woman's Work&quot;, that kind of song, it's celebrating everything that's so wonderful about being a woman, and being nurturing, and intuitive and emotional, and gentle and sensual, and just like really intimate. People don't put their hearts on the line in that vulnerable way very much, and me, as an artist myself, it's helped me to not be frightened, to show all, as much of my vulnerability as a woman as possible, and in that be powerful.
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

*''' They're not &quot;normal&quot; songs. None of her songs have been &quot;normal.&quot; She's just who she is, she's unique. She's — a mystery. She's the most beautiful mystery.''' ... Let me tell you a story: when I had my civil partnership, nine years ago, in 2005, and Kate — we invited Kate, we didn't think she'd come but she came, she came with her husband Danny, and '''there were a lot of very famous people in that room, there were like 600 people — and all anybody wanted to meet was Kate Bush.''' I mean, musician, ''anybody'', they couldn't believe Kate Bush was there. She's kind of an enigma. 
** [[Elton John]]

* &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; was not your normal type song — but that's why it was so brilliant. It was something out the norm. When something like that comes along, they don't come along that often. When does the next Kate Bush come along, after Kate Bush? There hasn't been one.
** [[Elton John]]

* '''That record she did with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my life.''' That record helped me get sober. So she played a big part in my actual downfall and kind of &quot;rebirth'&quot; as it were. That record helped me so much. I never told her that, but it did.
** [[Elton John]], on her duet with Peter Gabriel on the song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* When I first heard it, I thought that's ''extremely'' challenging, the vocal — it was almost ''hysterical'', and it was so up there, the register, but it was absolutely fascinating. And I know at the time a lot of my friends couldn't bear it, they thought it was just &quot;too much&quot; — but that's exactly what drew me in. 
** [[John Lydon]], on &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']], and I think she produced that one herself. That got ''a lot of criticism'' — but I ''loved'' it. It was overloaded with textures, and tones and all manner of things. '''It's a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things.'''
** [[John Lydon]]

* I was teaching at the Dance Centre in Covent Garden. Kate turned up, dressed very properly in her ballet tights and things, and her hair straight back, looking very, very professional indeed, a very, very serious student. But as ''timid as hell'', and of course she took a place at the back of the class, you know, I had to ''coax'' her forward. I mean she was ''extremely'' shy, ''extremely'' timid, and of course the first thing I had to do was, you know, bring her out of herself, give her courage. '''I have to say that once Kate actually ''started'' dancing, she was a ''wild'' thing, she was ''wild'''''. … One day, some months after knowing her, I got back to my home … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — '''and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn't know she had any aspirations of being a singer. She never talked about herself.'''
** [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]]

* '''I knew from day one, I knew ... there was no way this girl was not going to make it. She was going to be a ''huge'' success.''' There was no way, because she was so driven for it. And her [[enthusiasm]] for it all was infectious. 
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]]

* The working relationship was never a problem, you know. We always worked together reasonably well, you know, we always argue, and we always have and always will. I've always argued with Kate, and she's always argued with me, but I guess that's just the way it is, you know, so I feel I'm emotionally involved with it all, to a great extent, you know, much more so than most people would imagine. Not only did we have a personal relationship, and I work with her — I really love her music, I really do... to the point, where '''I virtually work with nobody else — because nobody else comes close.'''
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], on the break up of his personal relationship with Kate, and his continued work with her musically.

* '''I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to.''' Where does Kate Bush come from? You can't hear her influences. It's like [[Billie Holiday]], when I first heard Billie Holiday, I'd never heard anything like that in my life — the same with Kate Bush. I can't figure out musically, artistically, who her mother and father is. 	
** [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.katebush.com/ Official site]
* [http://homepage.tinet.ie/~twoms/katebush.htm Kate Bush News]
* [http://gaffa.org/ Gaffaweb - extensive fan site]
** [http://gaffa.org/sensual/l_alpha.html Lyrics of Kate Bush songs at Gaffaweb]
* [http://ectoguide.org/artists/bush.kate Ectophile Guide to Kate Bush] &amp; [http://ectoguide.org/genre Good Music]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Always on the Run : Kate Bush] (bio and lyrics)
* [http://home.att.net/~james51453/ &quot;Cathy&quot; Online version of the book by Kate's brother, John Carder Bush]
* [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/mp3/ Kate Bush in MP3 - early studio demos by Kate Bush, plus other rare recordings.]
* [http://www.katebush.info/ Kate Bush Information and Resources]
* [http://www.angelfire.com/stars4/katebush/Art.html Links to Artwork Inspired By Kate]
* [http://www.ukkatebushfangatherings.co.uk/ UK Kate Bush Fan Gatherings]
* [http://ninthwave.free.fr/ The Ninth Wave - French Language Fan Page]
* [http://children.ofthenight.org/cloudbusting/cloudbusting.html Cloudbusting - Kate In her Own Words]
* [http://fly.hiwaay.net/~cbullard/ Kate Worlds]
* [http://www.heisjohn.com/kate/ The Single File]
* [http://www.antenna.nl/~dinyar/ Bart Dinyar's Discography]
* [http://www.wessex.clara.net/kate/ The Laser File]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Kate Bush Lyrics]
* [http://www.talisman.org/~erlkonig/KT/ Talisman Archive]
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20050205140603/http://members.tripod.com/~BrendanMartin/ The Lost Kate Bush Interview]
* [http://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/kate.bush.html Summary: &quot;The Line, The Cross &amp; The Curve&quot;]
* [http://www.salon.com/people/bc/2001/03/20/kate_bush/print.html Kate Bush] ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)
* [http://www.rollingstone.com/artist/bio/_/id/2069/katebush?pageid=rs.Artistcage&amp;pageregion=artistHeader Brief biography] at ''Rolling Stone''
'''Reviews of ''Aerial'':'''
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial'' (BBC)]
* [http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html &quot;Admit it, guys, she's a genius&quot; - ''The Observer'' (30 October 2005)]
* [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5032773 Kate Bush Returns with 'Aerial'] ([[w:National Public Radio|NPR]] audio review)
* [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece Kate Bush: The sequel&quot;], ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

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[[Category:Absurdists]]
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[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Record producers from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
[[Category:British women]]
[[Category:People from London]]
[[Category:1958 births]]
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      <text bytes="131430" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Kate bush 1978 2 (cropped).png|thumb|Just being [[Life|alive]] &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt. &lt;br /&gt; These [[moments]] given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]]. &lt;br /&gt; Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we [[love]]…]]
'''[[w:Kate Bush|Catherine Bush]]''' [[w:Order of the British Empire|CBE]] (born [[30 July]] [[1958]]) is an [[English]] [[singer-songwriter]], [[musician]] and record producer. She is the sister of [[w:Paddy Bush|Paddy Bush]] and [[John Carder Bush]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Before The Dawn Costumes.jpg|thumb|[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].]]
[[File:Kate bush 1978 1.png|thumb|What's [[important]] to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.]]
[[File:Kate Bush at 1986 Comic Relief (cropped).png|thumb|The [[important]] [[people]] are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's [[lives]]. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much [[attention]] on something that's so shallow?]] 
[[File:Kate Bush Before The Dawn 2014.jpg|thumb|I'm really very [[happy]] if [[people]] can [[connect]] at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the [[story]] is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the [[world]].]]
[[File:Kate Bush - Hammersmith Odeon (cropped).jpg|thumb| I have [[intentions]] as a [[writer]], but people — when they’re listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song’s about something it isn’t. That doesn’t matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it’s great.]]
 
* '''[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].''' You know... they're just ... as important as... um doctors, and priests ... or maybe not as important sometimes, and yet they have this huge aura of almost god-like quality about them, just because their craft makes a lot of money. '''And at the same time it is a ''forced'' importance — you know, football stars and theatre stars — It is man-made so the press can feed off it.'''
** ''Profiles in Rock'' interview (December 1980)

* '''I was trying to say that, really, a man and a woman, can't understand each other because we are a man and a woman. And if we could actually swap each other's roles, if we could actually be in each other's place for a while, I think we'd both be very surprised! ... And I think it would lead to a greater understanding.''' And really the only way I could think it could be done was either... you know, I thought a deal with the devil, you know. And I thought, &quot;well, no, why not a deal with [[God]]!&quot; You know, because in a way it's so much more powerful the whole idea of asking God to make a deal with you. You see, for me it is still called &quot;Deal With God&quot;, that was its title. But we were told that if we kept this title that it would not be played in any of the religious countries, [[Italy]] wouldn't play it, [[France]] wouldn't play it, and [[Australia]] wouldn't play it! [[Ireland]] wouldn't play it, and that generally we might get it blacked purely because it had God in the title.
** On her song &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;, in a [http://gaffa.org/cloud/music/running_up_that_hill.html Radio 1 Classic Albums interview with Richard Skinner (26 January 1992)]

* For me to get into that creative process I have to have a sort of quiet place that I work from. And '''if I was living the life of ... somebody in the industry, as a pop star or whatever, it's too distracting. It's too to do with other people's perceptions of who you are, and what's important to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.''' &lt;br /&gt; And I think, you know, that's something that's very difficult for people who become extremely famous. I mean, I find it completely ridiculous this obsession with celebrities. ... Why are celebrities so important to people? It's absolute crap. I mean, the important people are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's lives. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much attention on something that's so shallow?
** [http://gaffa.org/reaching/iv05_bbc2_Mark_Radcliff_interview.html Interview on ''The Mark Radcliff Show'', ''BBC Radio 2'' (7 November 2005)]

* '''Now [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|all the shows are over]], it's pretty difficult to explain how I [[feel]] about it [[all]].''' It was quite a [[surreal]] journey that kept its level of intensity right from the early stages to the [[end]] of the very last show. It was also such great [[fun]]. &lt;br /&gt; It was one of the most extraordinary [[experiences]] of my [[life]]. I loved the whole process.... I was really delighted that the shows were received so positively and so warmly but the really unexpected part of it all was the audiences. Audiences that you could only ever [[dream]] of. One of the main reasons for wanting to perform live again was to have contact with that audience.They took my breath away. Every single night they were so behind us. You could feel their support from the minute we walked on stage. I just never imagined it would be possible to connect with an audience on such a powerful and intimate level; to feel such, well quite frankly, [[love]]. It was like this at every single show. &lt;br /&gt; Thank you so very much to everyone who came to the shows and became part of that shared experience. It was a truly special and wonderful feeling for all of us.
** An open letter to her fans about her [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|&quot;Before the Dawn&quot; concerts (26 August 2014 - 1 October 2014)]], in [http://www.katebush.com/news/after-dawn &quot;After the Dawn&quot; at her official &quot;FISH P∑ΩPL∑&quot; site &quot;(22 October 2014)]

* '''[[David Bowie]] had everything. He was intelligent, imaginative, brave, charismatic, cool, sexy and truly inspirational both visually and musically.''' He created such staggeringly brilliant work, yes, but so much of it and it was so good. There are great people who make great work but who else has left a mark like his? No one like him.
** Tribute to David Bowie, in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/jan/17/david-bowie-as-seen-by-deborah-harry-chris-kate-bush-stein-carlos-alomar-julien-temple-edwyn-collins &quot;David Bowie, as remembered by…&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (17 January 2016)]

* I think musicians have a responsibility ''to try and do something that is good.'' It's so hard. It's very difficult to pull something out of the hat creatively. Although I say it's their responsibility, it's really just people trying to do the best that they can.
** As quoted in [https://www.thefader.com/2016/11/23/kate-bush-interview-before-the-dawn &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)]

* '''I'm really very happy if people can connect at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the story is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the world.''' I'm sure with a lot of paintings, people don't understand what the painter originally meant, and I don't really think that matters. I just think if you feel something, that's really the ideal goal. If that happens, then I'm really happy.
** As quoted in &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)

* '''As an artist, you're never happy with anything you do. It's part of the process.''' You're never really happy. I'm certainly not. That's a good thing. It means you're always striving to do better. You hope the next piece will be better.
** As quoted in [https://www.macleans.ca/culture/arts/in-conversation-with-kate-bush/ &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)]

* '''The great thing about art on any level is that it can speak to all people if it's achieved properly.''' When I've heard a piece of music or seen a painting that moves me, it gives me something. That's such an incredibly special experience. I have intentions as a writer, but people — when they're listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song's about something it isn't. That doesn't matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it's great.
** As quoted in &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)

=== MOJO interview (2005) ===
[[File:Flag of WHO.svg|thumb|I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that [[people]] think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the [[world]].]]
:&lt;small&gt;Excerpts from an interview in ''MOJO'' magazine (3 November 2005) as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that people think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the world. '''Y'know, I'm a very strong person and I think that's why actually I find it really infuriating when I read, 'She had a nervous breakdown' or 'She's not very mentally stable, just a weak, frail little creature'.'''

* There were so many times I thought, &quot;I'll have the album finished this year, definitely, we'll get it out this year.&quot; Then there were a couple of years where I thought, &quot;I'm never gonna do this.&quot; If I could make albums quicker, I'd be on a roll wouldn't I? '''Everything just seems to take so much time. I don't know why. Time... evaporates.'''

* ''There was a story that some EMI execs had come down to see you and you'd said something like: &quot;Here's what I've been working on,&quot; and then produced some cakes from your oven. True?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;No! I don't know where that came from. I thought that was quite funny actually. It presents me as this homely creature, which is all right, isn't it?&quot;

* '''For the last 12 years, I've felt really privileged to be living such a normal life. It's so a part of who I am.''' It's so important to me to do the washing, do the Hoovering. Friends of mine in the business don't know how dishwashers work. For me, that's frightening.''' I want to be in a position where I can function as a human being. Even more so now where you've got this sort of truly silly preoccupation with celebrities. Just because somebody's been in an ad on TV, so what? Who gives a toss?'''

== Song lyrics ==

=== ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tki.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Humpback Whale underwater shot.jpg|thumb|right|Moving [[stranger]], &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not [[afraid]] to [[feel]]?]]

'''[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This first track of Bush's first album is a tribute to Bush's mime and dance instructor [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]], and opens and closes with a whale song.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Moving stranger, &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not afraid to feel?'''

[[File:Saxophone alto.jpg|thumb|right|There's something very [[real]] in how I [[feel]], honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you [[know]] it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone…]]
* [[Touch]] me, hold me. &lt;br /&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br /&gt; Try to fall for me.

* '''How I'm moved. &lt;br /&gt; How you move me &lt;br /&gt; With your beauty's potency.'''

'''The Saxophone Song'''

* '''There's something very special indeed, &lt;br /&gt; In all the places where I've seen you shine, boy.''' &lt;br /&gt; There's something very real in how I feel, honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you know it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone...

* '''You'll never know that you had all of me. &lt;br /&gt; You'll never know the poetry you've stirred in me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Of all the stars I've seen that shine so brightly, &lt;br /&gt; I've never known or felt in myself so rightly, &lt;br /&gt; It's in me...

'''[[w:Strange Phenomena (song)|Strange Phenomena]]'''
[[File:Moon rise 2-20-08-3.jpg|thumb|right|Soon it will be the phase of the [[moon]] &lt;br /&gt; When [[people]] tune in.]]

* '''Soon it will be the phase of the moon &lt;br /&gt; When people tune in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Every girl knows about the punctual blues, &lt;br /&gt; But who's to know the power behind our moves?

* '''We raise our hats to the strange phenomena. &lt;br /&gt; Soul-birds of a feather flock together.'''

[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|right| There's a hole in the [[sky]] with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite…&quot;]]
'''Kite'''

* '''There's a hole in the sky with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite, &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight!&quot;'''

* A diamond kite &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the moon, over the moon!

[[File:The Flood, by Paul Merwart.jpg|thumb|right|Suddenly I find [[myself]] &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a [[man]] I've never [[known]] before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the [[sea]], &lt;br /&gt; [[All]] his [[love]], 'til [[Eternity]].]]
'''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]'''

* '''I hear him, before I go to sleep &lt;br /&gt; And focus on the day that's been.''' &lt;br /&gt; I realise he's there, &lt;br /&gt; When I turn the light off and turn over.

* '''Nobody knows about my man. &lt;br /&gt; They think he's lost on some horizon. &lt;br /&gt; And suddenly I find myself &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a man I've never known before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the sea, &lt;br /&gt; All his love, 'til Eternity.'''

* Ooh, he's here again, &lt;br /&gt; The man with the child in his eyes.

'''[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]'''
[[File:Johann Heinrich Füssli 015.jpg|thumb|right|Ooh, it gets [[dark]]! It gets [[lonely]], &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you…]]

* '''Out on the wiley, windy moors &lt;br /&gt; We'd roll and fall in green. &lt;br /&gt; You had a temper like my jealousy: &lt;br /&gt; Too hot, too greedy. &lt;br /&gt; How could you leave me, &lt;br /&gt; When I needed to possess you? &lt;br /&gt; I hated you. I loved you, too.'''

* Bad dreams in the night. &lt;br /&gt; They told me I was going to lose the fight, &lt;br /&gt; Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering &lt;br /&gt; Wuthering Heights.

* Heathcliff, it's me — Cathy.

* '''Ooh, it gets dark! It gets lonely, &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you. &lt;br /&gt; I pine a lot. I find the lot &lt;br /&gt; Falls through without you.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm coming back, love. &lt;br /&gt; Cruel Heathcliff, my one dream, &lt;br /&gt; My only master.

* Ooh! Let me have it. &lt;br /&gt; Let me grab your soul away.

'''James And The Cold Gun'''

* Ooh, James, are you selling your soul to a cold gun?

* You're a coward, James. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from humanity. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from reality. &lt;br /&gt; It won't be funny when they rat-a-tat-tat you down.

[[File:James Barry 001.jpg|thumb|right| Nobody else can [[share]] this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The [[glorious]] [[Unity|union]].]]
'''Feel It'''

* '''Nobody else can share this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The glorious union. &lt;br /&gt; Well it could be love, &lt;br /&gt; Or it could be just lust, &lt;br /&gt; But it will be fun. &lt;br /&gt; It will be wonderful.'''

* God, but you're beautiful, aren't you? &lt;br /&gt; Feel your warm hand walking around. &lt;br /&gt; I won't pull away. &lt;br /&gt; My passion always wins. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-moving in. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-tuning in. &lt;br /&gt; Synchronise rhythm now.

'''Oh To Be In Love'''
[[File:A Love for the Arts by Delacorr.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] the colours look brighter [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new…]]
* '''I could have been anyone. &lt;br /&gt; You could have been anyone's dream. &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to choose our moment?''' &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to make me feel that? &lt;br /&gt; Why did you make it so unreal?

* '''Oh! To be in love, &lt;br /&gt; And never get out again.'''

* All the colours look brighter now. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new. &lt;br /&gt; Slipping into tomorrow too quick, &lt;br /&gt; Yesterday always too good to forget. &lt;br /&gt; '''Stop the swing of the pendulum! Let us through!'''

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Bacchante (1894).jpg|thumb|right| My [[eyes]] were shining on the [[wine]], and your aura…]]
'''L'Amour Looks Something Like You'''

* You came out of the night, &lt;br /&gt; Wearing a mask in white colour. &lt;br /&gt; My eyes were shining &lt;br /&gt; On the wine, and your aura.

* You look like an [[Angels|angel]], &lt;br /&gt; Sleeping it off at a station. &lt;br /&gt; Were you only passing through?

* I'm dying for you just to touch me, &lt;br /&gt; And feel all the energy rushing right up-a-me. &lt;br /&gt; L'amour looks something like you.

[[File:Whirling Dervishes, Konya, Turkey, RMO.jpg|thumb|right|I [[love]] the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the [[beauty]] of rare [[innocence]].]]
[[File:John William Waterhouse - The Crystal Ball.JPG|thumb|right| You don't [[need]] no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We [[humans]] got it [[all]], we perform the [[miracles]].]]
'''[[w:Them Heavy People|Them Heavy People]]'''

* '''Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me...'''

* '''I must work on my mind. For now I realise: &lt;br /&gt; Everyone of us has a heaven inside.'''

* Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. &lt;br /&gt; Them heavy people help me.

* '''They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.''' &lt;br /&gt; They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]]. &lt;br /&gt; They build up my body, break me emotionally. &lt;br /&gt; It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!

* '''I love the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the beauty of rare innocence. &lt;br /&gt; You don't need no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.'''

'''Room For The Life'''

* Hey there, you lady in tears, &lt;br /&gt; Do you think that they care if they're real, woman? &lt;br /&gt; They just take it as part of the deal.

* '''Like it or not, we were built tough, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.'''

* No, we never die for long, &lt;br /&gt; While we've got that little life &lt;br /&gt; To live for, where it's hid inside.

* Like it or not, we keep bouncing back, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.

[[File:Sonnenfinsternis 1999-08-11 1.jpg|thumb|right|I will come [[home]] again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The [[sun]] and the [[moon]] meet on yon hill.]]
'''The Kick Inside'''

* '''I'm giving it all in a moment or two. &lt;br /&gt; I'm giving it all in a moment, for you.'''

* This kicking here inside &lt;br /&gt; Makes me leave you behind. &lt;br /&gt; No more under the quilt &lt;br /&gt; To keep you warm. &lt;br /&gt; Your sister I was born. &lt;br /&gt; You must lose me like an arrow, &lt;br /&gt; Shot into the killer storm.

* You and me on the bobbing knee. &lt;br /&gt; Didn't we cry at that old mythology he'd read! &lt;br /&gt; I will come home again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The sun and the moon meet on yon hill.

=== ''[[w:Lionheart (album)|Lionheart]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_lh.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Fractal nevit 75.png|thumb|right|I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood…]]
'''[[w:Symphony in Blue|Symphony in Blue]]'''

* '''I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood...'''

[[File:The Realm of Rane - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.]]
* When that [[feeling]] of meaninglessness sets in, &lt;br /&gt; Go blowing my [[mind]] on [[God]]: &lt;br /&gt; The [[light]] in the [[dark]], with the neon arms, &lt;br /&gt; The meek He seeks, the beast He calms, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[good]] [[soul]] department.

* '''My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.'''

* '''The more I think about [[sex]], the better it gets.''' &lt;br /&gt; Here we have a [[purpose]] in [[life]]: &lt;br /&gt; Good for the [[blood]] circulation, &lt;br /&gt; Good for releasing the tension, &lt;br /&gt; The root of our [[reincarnations]].

'''In Search Of Peter Pan'''
[[File:Peter Pan 1915 cover 2.JPG|thumb|right|When I am a [[man]] I will be an astronaut, and find [[Peter Pan]].]]

* I no longer see a [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; I've been told when I get older &lt;br /&gt; That I'll [[understand]] &lt;br /&gt; It all. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not sure if I want to.

* '''They took the [[game]] right out of it. &lt;br /&gt; When I am a man &lt;br /&gt; I will be an astronaut, &lt;br /&gt; And find [[Peter Pan]].'''

'''[[w:Wow (song)|Wow]]'''
[[File:Double slit x-ray simulation monochromatic blue-white.png|thumb|right|We [[know]] [[all]] our lines so well… &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many [[times]]…]]

* '''We're [[all]] [[alone]] on the stage [[tonight]].''' &lt;br /&gt; We've been told; we're not [[afraid]] of you. &lt;p&gt; We [[know]] all [[Speech|our lines]] so well, ah-ha, &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many times: &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] and [[Repetition|time again]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Poetry|Line and line again]].

* You say we're fantastic, &lt;br /&gt; But still we don't head the bill. &lt;br /&gt; Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! ''Unbelievable!''

* Ooh, yeah, you're amazing! &lt;br /&gt; We think you are really cool. &lt;br /&gt; We'd give you a part, my love, &lt;br /&gt; But you'd have to play the fool.

'''Don't Push Your Foot On The Heartbrake'''

* Emma's come down. &lt;br /&gt; She's stopped the light &lt;br /&gt; Shining out of her eyes.

* '''Oh, come on, you've got to use your flow. &lt;br /&gt; You know what it's like, and you know you want to go.''' &lt;br /&gt; Don't drive too slowly. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your blues where your shoes should be. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your foot on the heartbrake.'''

'''Oh England My Lionheart'''
[[File:Spitfire-under.jpg|thumb|right|Oh! [[England]], my [[Lion]][[heart]]! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one [[kiss]] in apple-blossom.]]

* Oh! [[England]], my Lionheart! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one kiss in apple-blossom. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one wish, and I'd be wassailing &lt;br /&gt; In the orchard, my English rose, &lt;br /&gt; Or with my shepherd, who'll bring me home.

'''Fullhouse'''
[[File:Kate Bush (15312486456).jpg|thumb|[[Remember]] [[yourself]]. &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight…]]
* '''I am my [[enemy]]''' &lt;br /&gt; Mowing me over, &lt;br /&gt; And towing the light away.

* '''[[Remember]] [[yourself]].''' &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight...
** &quot;Remember yourself&quot; was a motto of [[G. I. Gurdjieff]], whose ideas were an early influence on Bush.

* Surely by now I should know &lt;br /&gt; I can control &lt;br /&gt; My highs and my lows &lt;br /&gt; By questioning all that I do, &lt;br /&gt; Examining every move, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get back to the rudiments.

'''In The Warm Room'''

* In the warm room &lt;br /&gt; She'll touch you with your Mamma's hand. &lt;br /&gt; You'll long to kiss those red lips, &lt;br /&gt; But when you do &lt;br /&gt; It'll feel like kicking a habit.

'''Kashka From Baghdad'''

* Kashka from Baghdad &lt;br /&gt; Lives in [[sin]], they say, &lt;br /&gt; With another man, &lt;br /&gt; But no one knows who.

* At night &lt;br /&gt; They're seen &lt;br /&gt; [[Laughing]], &lt;br /&gt; Loving. &lt;br /&gt; They know &lt;br /&gt; The way &lt;br /&gt; To be &lt;br /&gt; [[Happy]].

'''Coffee Homeground'''

* Well, you won't get me with your Belladonna — in the coffee, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me with your aresenic — in the pot of tea, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me in a hole to rot — with your hemlock &lt;br /&gt; On the rocks.

* Maybe you're lonely, &lt;br /&gt; And only want a little company, &lt;br /&gt; But keep your recipes &lt;br /&gt; For the rats to eat, &lt;br /&gt; And may they rest in peace with coffee homeground.

'''[[w:Hammer Horror (song)|Hammer Horror]]'''
[[File:Victor Hugo-Hunchback.jpg|thumb|right| I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me…]]

* You stood in the belltower, &lt;br /&gt; But now you're gone. &lt;br /&gt; So who knows all the sights &lt;br /&gt; Of Notre Dame?

* Hammer Horror, Hammer Horror, &lt;br /&gt; Won't leave me alone. &lt;br /&gt; The first time in my life, &lt;br /&gt; I leave the lights on &lt;br /&gt; To ease my soul.

* I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me. &lt;br /&gt; So all I want to do is forget &lt;br /&gt; You, friend.

=== ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' (1980) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_nfe.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Old love letters.jpg|thumb|She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do…]] 

'''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'''

* '''She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do: &lt;br /&gt; A pseudonym to fool him. &lt;br /&gt; She couldn't have made a worse move.'''

[[File:Jean Béraud L'escrimeuse.jpg|thumb|right|Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his [[wife]] when she was [[beautiful]].]]
* She sent him scented letters, &lt;br /&gt; And he received them with a strange delight. &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife &lt;br /&gt; But how she was before the tears, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was before the years flew by, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was when she was beautiful.

* Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife when she was beautiful.

'''Delius (Song Of Summer)'''
:&lt;small&gt;A song about the composers [[w:Frederick Delius|Frederick Delius]] and [[w:Eric Fenby|Eric Fenby]].&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rmh1.jpg|thumb|To be sung of a [[summer]] [[night]] on the [[water]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water.]] 

* Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ''Song of Summer'' in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ...in...in...in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; ...in his hand.

* To be sung of a summer night on the water. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; Hmm. &lt;br /&gt; Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; In B, Fenby!&quot;


'''Blow Away (For Bill)'''
:&lt;small&gt;Dedicated to Bill Duffield, Bush's lighting engineer, who died in a stage accident. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.]] 

* One of the band told me last night &lt;br /&gt; That [[music]] is all that he's got in his [[life]]. &lt;br /&gt; So where does it go? &lt;br /&gt; Surely not with his [[soul]]. &lt;br /&gt; Will all of his licks and his R'n'B &lt;br /&gt; Blow away?

* Our engineer had a different idea &lt;br /&gt; From people who nearly died but survived, &lt;br /&gt; Feeling no fear of leaving their bodies here, &lt;br /&gt; And went to a room that was soon full of visitors.

* '''Put out the light, then, put out the light.''' &lt;br /&gt; Vibes in the [[sky]] invite you to dine. &lt;br /&gt; Dust to dust, &lt;br /&gt; Blow to blow.

'''All We Ever Look For'''
[[File:Nefertiti 30-01-2006.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] we ever [[look]] for — a little bit of you.]]

* '''The whims that we're weeping for &lt;br /&gt; Our parents would be beaten for.'''

* Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.

* '''[[All]] we ever look for — a [[god]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — ooh, a [[drug]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a great big hug.''' &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you, too. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for, &lt;br /&gt; But we never do score.

'''Egypt'''
[[File:SphinxGiza.jpg|thumb|right| Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound [[lonely]] [[tonight]].]]
[[File:King_Tut_Ankh_Amun_Golden_Mask.jpg|thumb|right|Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].]]
* '''Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound lonely tonight.''' &lt;br /&gt; The sands run red &lt;br /&gt; In lands of the Pharoahs. &lt;br /&gt; Their symmetry gets right inside me.

* Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].

* My Pussy Queen &lt;br /&gt; Knows all my [[secrets]]. &lt;br /&gt; I'll never fall in love again.

'''The Wedding List'''
[[File:Bride1929.jpg|thumb|right|We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!]]

* Somehow this was it, I knew. &lt;br /&gt; Maybe fate wants you dead, too: &lt;br /&gt; We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

* All I see is Rudi. &lt;br /&gt; I die with him, again and again. &lt;br /&gt; And I'll feel good in my revenge. &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna fill your head with lead &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

'''Violin'''
[[File:Maitelouis1.jpg|thumb|right|Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over…]]
* Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over, &lt;br /&gt; Over the quavers, drunk in the bars, &lt;br /&gt; Out of the realm of the orchestra...

* Get the bow going! &lt;br /&gt; Let it scream to me: &lt;br /&gt; Violin! Violin! Violin!

* Give me the [[w:Banshee|Banshees]] for B.V.s.
** B.V.s : backing vocals.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - A Young Girl Defending Herself Against Eros (1880).jpg|thumb|right| I cannot sit and let something happen I'll [[regret]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he [[scares]] me! There's a [[man]] behind those [[eyes]].]]
'''The Infant Kiss'''
:&lt;small&gt;Ths song was inspired by the film ''[[w:The Innocents (film)|The Innocents]]'' (1961), itself derived from ''[[w:The Turn of the Screw|The Turn of the Screw]]'' (1898) by [[Henry James|Henry James]]. Bush also wrote and sang a French version of this song: &quot;''Un Baiser d'enfant''&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I say good night-night &lt;br /&gt; I tuck him in tight. &lt;br /&gt; But things are not right.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''What is this?'' An infant kiss &lt;br /&gt; That sends my body tingling?

* His little hand is on my heart. &lt;br /&gt; He's got me where it ''hurts'' me. &lt;br /&gt; Knock, knock. Who's there in this baby? &lt;br /&gt; You know how to work me. &lt;br /&gt; '''All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.'''

* I cannot sit and let &lt;br /&gt; Something happen I'll regret. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he scares me! &lt;br /&gt; There's a man behind those eyes. &lt;br /&gt; I catch him when I'm bending.

* I want to smack but I hold back. &lt;br /&gt; I only want to [[touch]]. &lt;br /&gt; But I must stay and find a way &lt;br /&gt; To stop before it gets too much! &lt;br /&gt; All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.

[[File:High Wood cemetery, France.jpg|thumb|right| What a [[waste]] of [[Army]] [[dreamers]]…]]
'''[[w:Army Dreamers|Army Dreamers]]'''

[[File:Operation_Upshot-Knothole_-_Badger_001.jpg|thumb|right|We've lost our [[chance]]. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.]]
* '''What could he do? &lt;br /&gt; Should have been a father. &lt;br /&gt; But he never even made it to his twenties. &lt;br /&gt; What a waste — &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, what a waste of &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers.'''

* Oh, Jesus Christ, he wasn't to know, &lt;br /&gt; Like a chicken with a fox, &lt;br /&gt; He couldn't win the war with ego. &lt;br /&gt; Give the kid the pick of pips, &lt;br /&gt; And give him all your stripes and ribbons. &lt;br /&gt; Now he's sitting in his hole, &lt;br /&gt; He might as well have buttons and bows.

[[File:Ivy King - distance.jpg|thumb|right| I [[love]] my Beloved… [[All]] and everywhere, Only the [[fools]] blew it…]]
'''[[w:Breathing (song)|Breathing]]'''

* '''Outside &lt;br /&gt; Gets inside &lt;br /&gt; Through her skin.'''

* '''Breathing my mother in, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing my beloved in''', &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing her nicotine, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing the fall-out in, &lt;br /&gt; Out in, out in, out in, out in.

* '''We've lost our chance. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.'''

* '''I love my &lt;br /&gt; Beloved, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; All and everywhere, &lt;br /&gt; Only the fools blew it. &lt;br /&gt; You and me &lt;br /&gt; Knew life itself is &lt;br /&gt; Breathing...'''

[[File:Holygrail.jpg|thumb|right| I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.]]

=== [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] (1982) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_td.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Sat in Your Lap|Sat in Your Lap]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song incorporates a bit of Bush's eccentric wordplay: [[w:Sat (Sanskrit)|Sat]] is a [[w:Hinduism|Hindu]] and [[w:Sikhism|Sikh]] term for [[w:Truth|Truth]], or [[w:Knowledge|Knowledge]] related to the concept of [[w:Dharma#Developing_conceptions|Dharma]].&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Some say that [[knowledge]] is something that you never have. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that knowledge is something sat in your lap. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that [[heaven]] is [[hell]]. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that hell is heaven.'''

* I must admit, just when I think I'm king,
:: I just begin.

* '''I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.'''

'''[[w:There Goes a Tenner|There Goes a Tenner]]'''
[[File:Combinatoria.jpg|thumb|right|The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]…]]

* '''The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]. &lt;br /&gt; The [[signal]] has been [[given]].'''

* My excitement &lt;br /&gt; Turns into fright. &lt;br /&gt; All my words fade. &lt;br /&gt; What am I gonna say? &lt;br /&gt; Mustn't give the game away.

[[File:Mills N° 23 MkIII-2.jpg|thumb|right|Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I [[love]] [[life]]!]]
'''Pull Out The Pin'''

* Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I love life!

* He's big and pink, and not like me. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no light. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no [[reason]] for the [[fighting]]...

[[File:Divina - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].]]
'''[[w:Suspended in Gaffa (song)|Suspended in Gaffa]]'''

* '''Out in the [[garden]] &lt;br /&gt; There's half of a heaven''', &lt;br /&gt; And we're only bluffing. &lt;br /&gt; We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; '''Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].'''

* I don't know why I'm crying. &lt;br /&gt; Am I suspended in Gaffa? &lt;br /&gt; '''Not until I'm ready for you, &lt;br /&gt; Not until I'm ready for you &lt;br /&gt; Can I have it all.'''

* '''I won't open boxes &lt;br /&gt; That I am told not to. &lt;br /&gt; I'm not a Pandora. &lt;br /&gt; I'm much more like &lt;br /&gt; That girl in the mirror.''' &lt;br /&gt; Between you and me &lt;br /&gt; She don't stand a chance of getting anywhere at all.

* Mother, where are the [[angels]]? I'm scared of the changes.
** Whispered in a childlike voice.

'''Leave It Open'''

* '''My [[door]] was never locked, &lt;br /&gt; Until one day a trigger come cocking. &lt;br /&gt; (But now I've started learning how,) &lt;br /&gt; I keep it shut.'''

* Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; Harm in us, but power to arm. &lt;br /&gt; Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; ''Leave it open!''

* '''''We let the weirdness in.'''''
[[File:Australie 2 389.jpg|thumb|right|Coming in with the golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; In the [[morning]]. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.]]
[[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|thumb|See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].]] 
'''[[w:The Dreaming (song)|The Dreaming]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song deals with the Australian traditions of [[w:Dreamtime|&quot;The Dreaming&quot;]] &lt;/small&gt;

* '''''See the [[light]] ram through the gaps in the land.'' &lt;br /&gt; Many an Aborigine's mistaken for a [[tree]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Til you near him on the motorway &lt;br /&gt; And the tree begin to breathe.'''

* ''''Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; In the morning. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.'''

* '''The [[civilised]] keep alive &lt;br /&gt; The territorial [[war]]...''' &lt;br /&gt; Erase the race that claim the place &lt;br /&gt; And say we dig for ore, &lt;br /&gt; Or dangle [[devils]] in a bottle &lt;br /&gt; And push them from the ''pull of the Bush.''

* '''See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].'''

'''[[w:Night of the Swallow (song)|Night Of The Swallow]]'''
[[File:Hirundo rustica young male spring NRM.jpg|thumb|right|In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the [[guilty]] — to set them [[free]].]]

* If you go, I'll let the law know, &lt;br /&gt; And they'll head you off when you touch the ground. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, please, don't go through with this. &lt;br /&gt; I don't like the sound of it.

* '''In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the guilty — to set them free. &lt;br /&gt; Wings fill the window, &lt;br /&gt; And they beat and bleed.''' &lt;br /&gt; They hold the sky on the other side &lt;br /&gt; Of borderlines.

* ''Give me a break! &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, let me try! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to show &lt;br /&gt; For my miserable life! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to take! &lt;br /&gt; Would you break even my wings, &lt;br /&gt; Just like a swallow?''

[[File:Tribute in Light Memorial September 9 2004.jpg|thumb|right| Only tragedy allows the release of [[love]] and [[grief]] never normally seen…]]
'''All The Love'''

* '''We needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love us too. &lt;br /&gt; We wait for your move.'''

* '''Only tragedy allows the release &lt;br /&gt; Of love and grief never normally seen.''' &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weep, &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weak, &lt;br /&gt; But I know I have shown &lt;br /&gt; That I stand at the gates alone.

* '''I needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love me too. &lt;br /&gt; I wait for your move.'''

* '''All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love we should have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love you could have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love...'''

[[File:Weiss with mother and wife.jpg|thumb|right|With a [[kiss]] &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the [[key]] &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.]]
'''Houdini'''

* The tambourine jingle-jangles. &lt;br /&gt; The medium roams and rambles. &lt;br /&gt; Not taken in, &lt;br /&gt; I break the circle. &lt;br /&gt; I want this man &lt;br /&gt; To go away now.

* '''With a kiss &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the key &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.''' &lt;br /&gt; With your spit &lt;br /&gt; Still on my lip, &lt;br /&gt; You hit the water.

* '''Rosabel believe, &lt;br /&gt; Not even eternity &lt;br /&gt; Can hold Houdini! &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Rosabel, believe!&quot; '''

'''Get Out Of My House'''

* I will not let you in. &lt;br /&gt; I face towards the wind. &lt;br /&gt; I change into the Mule.

[[File:Lightning02.jpg|thumb|right| There is [[thunder]] in our [[hearts]]…]]

=== ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' (1985) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_hol.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)]]'''

* '''It doesn't hurt me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to feel how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me.

* '''And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with God, &lt;br /&gt; And I'd get him to swap our places, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that road, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that building.'''

* '''You don't want to hurt me, &lt;br /&gt; But see how deep the bullet lies. &lt;br /&gt; Unaware I'm tearing you asunder. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.'''

* '''Is there so much hate for the ones we love? &lt;br /&gt; Tell me, we both matter, don't we?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me won't be unhappy.

* '''C'mon, baby, c'mon darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let me steal this [[moment]] from you [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; C'mon, [[Angels|angel]], c'mon, c'mon, darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let's exchange the [[experience]], oh...'''

* If I only could &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill &lt;br /&gt; With no problems...

[[File:Muir Wood10.JPG|thumb|right| ''It's in the [[trees]]! It's coming!'']]
'''[[w:Hounds of Love (song)|Hounds Of Love]]'''

* ''It's in the trees! &lt;br /&gt; It's coming!''

* I found a [[fox]] &lt;br /&gt; Caught by [[dogs]]. &lt;br /&gt; He let me take him in my [[hands]]. &lt;br /&gt; His little [[heart]], &lt;br /&gt; It beats so fast, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm ashamed of running away &lt;br /&gt; From nothing real — &lt;br /&gt; I just can't deal with this, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm still afraid to be there, &lt;br /&gt; Among your hounds of [[love]]...

* '''Do you know what I really need? &lt;br /&gt; I need love love love love love, yeah!'''

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right| They look down at the ground, missing. But I never go in [[now]]. I'm looking at the Big [[Sky]]…]]
'''[[w:The Big Sky (song)|The Big Sky]] '''

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|You never really [[understood]] me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.]]
* '''They look down &lt;br /&gt; At the ground, &lt;br /&gt; Missing. &lt;br /&gt; But I never go in [[now]].''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm looking at the Big Sky.

* '''You never really understood me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.'''

* This [[cloud]], this cloud — &lt;br /&gt; Says &quot;Noah, &lt;br /&gt; C'mon and build me an Ark.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And if you're coming, jump, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause &lt;br /&gt; We're leaving with the Big Sky.

'''Mother Stands For Comfort'''

* She knows that I've been doing something wrong, &lt;br /&gt; But she won't say anything.

* Am I the cat that takes the bird? &lt;br /&gt; To her the hunted, not the hunter.

* Mother stands for comfort. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will hide the murderer. &lt;br /&gt; Mother hides the madman. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will stay mum.

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen…]]
'''[[w:Cloudbusting|Cloudbusting]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song is sung from the perspective of [[Wilhelm Reich]]'s son Peter, whose memoir ''A Book of Dreams'' inspired it.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I still dream of Orgonon.''' &lt;br /&gt; I wake up crying. &lt;br /&gt; You're making rain, &lt;br /&gt; And you're just in reach, &lt;br /&gt; When you and sleep escape me.

* '''I just know that something good is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen.'''

* '''On top of the world, &lt;br /&gt; Looking over the edge, &lt;br /&gt; You could see them coming.''' &lt;br /&gt; You looked too small &lt;br /&gt; In their big, black car, &lt;br /&gt; To be a threat to the men in power.'''

* I hid my yo-yo &lt;br /&gt; In the garden. &lt;br /&gt; I can't hide you &lt;br /&gt; From the government. &lt;br /&gt; Oh, God, Daddy — &lt;br /&gt; I won't forget...

[[File:Aivazovsky,_Ivan_-_The_Ninth_Wave.jpg|thumb|right|Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.]] 
[[File:PortoCovoJan07-4.jpg|thumb|right|If they find me racing [[wikt:white horse|white horses]], they'll not take me for a buoy…]]
==== The Ninth Wave ====

'''And Dream Of Sheep'''

* '''Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.''' &lt;br /&gt; My [[face]] is all lit up, &lt;br /&gt; My face is all lit up.

* '''If they find me racing [[wikt:white horses|white horses]], &lt;br /&gt; They'll not take me for a buoy.''' &lt;br /&gt; Let me be weak, &lt;br /&gt; Let me [[sleep]] &lt;br /&gt; And [[dream]] of [[sheep]].

* Ooh, their breath is warm &lt;br /&gt; And they smell like sleep, &lt;br /&gt; And they say they take me home. &lt;br /&gt; Like poppies heavy with seed &lt;br /&gt; They take me deeper and deeper.

'''Under Ice'''

* '''There's something moving &lt;br /&gt; Under, under the ice, &lt;br /&gt; Moving under ice, &lt;br /&gt; Through water, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get out of the cold water.''' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Something, someone — help them. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot;

[[File:Wickiana4.jpg|thumb|right|[[Look]] who's here to see you!]]
[[File:Joan of arc interrogation.jpg|thumb|right|''I question your [[innocence]]…'']]
'''Waking The Witch'''

* '''Wake up!'''...''You must wake up!''

* &quot;Don't you know you've kept him waiting?&quot; &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Look who's here to see you!&quot;

* ''I question your [[innocence]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird! &lt;br /&gt; ''She's a [[witch]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; There's a stone around my leg.

* ''What say you, good people?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird...

* &quot;Get out of the waves! Get out of the water!&quot;

'''Watching You Without Me'''

* '''You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying to you.'''

* I should have been home &lt;br /&gt; Hours ago, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here...

[[File:G W Russell Bathers.jpg|thumb|Can't you [[see]] where [[memories]] are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the [[water]] like a [[laughing]] girl. &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] in her [[eyes]] is spawning [[past]] [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; One with the [[ocean]] and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding [[all]] the [[love]] that waits for you here. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
'''Jig Of Life'''
:&lt;small&gt;Co-written with her brother [[John Carder Bush]] &lt;/small&gt; 
[[File:Boelge stor.jpg|thumb|right|Catch us [[now]] for I am your [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; A [[kiss]] on the [[wind]] and we'll make the land. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
[[File:Waves forming at beach.jpg|thumb|right|For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will [[dance]] with me in the sunlit pools. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]]

* '''I'll be sitting in your [[mirror]]. &lt;br /&gt; [[Now]] is the place where the crossroads meet. &lt;br /&gt; Will you look into the [[future]]?'''

* Never, never say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To my part of your life.

* '''&quot;This [[moment]] in time,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said.) &lt;br /&gt; It doesn't belong to you,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said,) &lt;br /&gt; It belongs to me''', &lt;br /&gt; And your little boy and your little girl, &lt;br /&gt; And the one hand clapping: &lt;br /&gt; Where on your palm is my little line, &lt;br /&gt; When you're written in mine &lt;br /&gt; As an old memory?

* Can't you see where memories are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the water like a laughing girl. &lt;br /&gt; Time in her eyes is spawning past life, &lt;br /&gt; One with the ocean and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding all the love that waits for you here. &lt;br /&gt; Catch us [[now]] for I am your future. &lt;br /&gt; A kiss on the wind and we'll make the land. &lt;br /&gt; Come over here to where When lingers, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting in this empty world, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting for Then, when the lifespray cools. &lt;br /&gt; '''For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will dance with me in the sunlit pools. &lt;br /&gt; We are of the going water and the gone. &lt;br /&gt; We are of water in the holy land of water &lt;br /&gt; And all that's to come runs in &lt;br /&gt; With the thrust on the strand.'''
** This is the portion of &quot;Jig of Life&quot; which was actually written as well as spoken by Kate's brother [[John Carder Bush]].

[[File:Shelfcloud.jpg|thumb|right|I was there at the [[birth]], Out of the cloudburst, The head of the [[tempest]]…]]
'''Hello Earth'''

* Watching [[storms]] &lt;br /&gt; Start to form &lt;br /&gt; Over [[America]]. &lt;br /&gt; Can't do anything. &lt;br /&gt; Just watch them swing &lt;br /&gt; With the [[wind]] &lt;br /&gt; Out to [[sea]].

* '''I was there at the [[birth]], &lt;br /&gt; Out of the cloudburst, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[tempest]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Murderer! &lt;br /&gt; Murder of calm...

[[File:Iridescent fog.jpg|thumb|right|The [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Begin]] to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to [[speak]].]]
[[File:Fog over Baffin Bay IMG 9533.jpg|thumb|right| D'you [[know]] what? &lt;br /&gt; I [[love]] you better [[now]].]]
'''The Morning Fog'''

* '''The light &lt;br /&gt; Begin to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to speak. &lt;br /&gt; D'you know what? &lt;br /&gt; I love you better now.'''

* '''I'll kiss the ground.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my mother, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my father, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my loved one, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my brothers &lt;br /&gt; How much I love them.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Dawn (1881).jpg|thumb|right| Stepping out… To where the [[water]] and the [[earth]] caress…]]

=== ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' (1989) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tsw.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''The Sensual World'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJc64xncBt4 Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''He said I was a flower of the mountain, yes, &lt;br /&gt; But now I've powers o'er a woman's body, yes. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out of the page into the sensual world. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out... &lt;br /&gt; To where the water and the earth caress &lt;br /&gt; And the down on a peach says mmh, Yes...'''
** &quot;The Sensual World&quot;; The lyrics of this song are derived from the last lines of ''[[Ulysses (novel)|Ulysses]]'' by [[James Joyce]]. Kate had initially wanted to set much of Molly Bloom's Soliloquy to music, just as Joyce had written it, but when the Joyce estate refused, she altered it enough as to not infringe on copyright. As she explained it in an interview: &quot;The song was saying''' &quot;Yes, Yes&quot; '''and when I asked for permission they said''' &quot;No! No!&quot;.'''

[[File:Sunset Solar Halo at Keys View of Joshua Tree National Park.jpg|thumb|right|Do I look for those millionaires like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would when I could wear the sunset?]]
* Do I look for those millionaires &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would &lt;br /&gt; When I could wear the sunset?

* '''You don't need [[words]] — just one [[kiss]], then another.'''

* '''Stepping out, off the page, into the sensual world.''' &lt;br /&gt; And then our arrows of [[desire]] rewrite the [[speech]]...

* I said, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; But not yet, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; Mmh... Yes.

'''[[w:Love and Anger|Love and Anger]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ipM__nt8fM Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''It lay buried here. It lay deep inside me. &lt;br /&gt; It's so deep I don't think that I can [[speak]] about it. &lt;br /&gt; It could take me [[all]] of my [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; But it would only take a [[moment]] to &lt;br /&gt; Tell you what I'm [[feeling]], &lt;br /&gt; But I don't [[know]] if I'm ready yet. '''

* '''Take away the [[love]] and the [[anger]], &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of [[hope]] holding us together. &lt;br /&gt; Looking for a [[moment]] that'll never happen, &lt;br /&gt; [[Living]] in the gap between [[past]] and [[future]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Take away the [[stone]] and the timber, &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of rope won't hold it together.

* If you can't tell your sister, &lt;br /&gt; If you can't tell a priest, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause it's so deep you don't think that you can speak about it &lt;br /&gt; To anyone, &lt;br /&gt; Can you tell it to your [[heart]]? &lt;br /&gt; Can you find it in your heart &lt;br /&gt; To let go of these feelings...

* We could be like two strings beating, &lt;br /&gt; Speaking in [[sympathy]]...

* We're building a house of the future together. &lt;br /&gt; (What would we do without you?)

* You might not, not think so now, &lt;br /&gt; But just you wait and see — someone will come to [[help]] you.

[[File:Fog-towerbridge.700px.jpg|thumb|right| I can't let you go. If I let you go, you slip into the fog…]]
'''The Fog'''

* '''Just like a photograph, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up. &lt;br /&gt; Just like a station on the radio, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up.'''

* Just like a feeling that you're sending out, &lt;br /&gt; I pick it up. &lt;br /&gt; But I can't let you go. &lt;br /&gt; '''If I let you go, &lt;br /&gt; You slip into the fog...'''

* '''This love was big enough for the both of us. &lt;br /&gt; This love of yours was big enough to be frightened of. &lt;br /&gt; It's deep and dark, like the water was, &lt;br /&gt; The day I learned to swim.'''

* '''Is this love big enough to watch over me? &lt;br /&gt; Big enough to let go of me &lt;br /&gt; Without hurting me, &lt;br /&gt; Like the day I learned to swim?'''

'''Reaching Out'''

:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Be_ITyTMzc YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''See how the [[child]] reaches out [[instinctively]] &lt;br /&gt; To [[feel]] how [[fire]] will feel. &lt;br /&gt; See how the man reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For what he cannot have.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''The pull and the push of it [[all]].''

* Reaching out for that hand to hold. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star that explodes. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for Mama.

* See how the [[flower]] leans instinctively &lt;br /&gt; Toward the [[light]]. &lt;br /&gt; See how the [[heart]] reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For no [[reason]] but to [[touch]]...

'''Heads We're Dancing'''
[[File:Jane Kelly. Psychosis 1.jpg|thumb|You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started…]]
[[File:Hitler, Speer y Breker en París, 23 de junio de 1940.jpg|thumb|Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] ]]

* You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started, &lt;br /&gt; When you walked up to me and you said, &lt;br /&gt;&quot;Hey, heads we dance.&quot;
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9NaEOoOLU4 Audio at YouTube]

* They say that the [[Devil]] is a charming man. &lt;br /&gt; And just like you I bet he can [[dance]].

* Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; A picture of you, a picture of you in uniform &lt;br /&gt; Standing with your head held high &lt;br /&gt; Hot down to the floor but it couldn't be you &lt;br /&gt; It couldn't be you, it's a picture of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]

[[File:Imac G5 20inch.jpg|thumb|right|I [[need]] deeper [[understanding]]. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding…]]
'''Deeper Understanding'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wDDxM1F4xY YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''As the people here grow colder I turn to my [[computer]] &lt;br /&gt; And spend my evenings with it &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[friend]]. '''

* ''Hello, I know that you've been feeling tired. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Hello, I know that you're unhappy. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding….''

* I turn to my computer like a friend. &lt;br /&gt; '''I need deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding...'''

'''Between A Man And A Woman'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orBTGQep1Ts YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Picture couple pregnant woman.jpg|thumb|right|He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the [[truth]] lies somewhere in the middle.]]

* He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

* '''Where [[angels]] fear to tread, &lt;br /&gt; You go rushing in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Stay out of this &lt;br /&gt; You must not interfere &lt;br /&gt; Don't you see this is &lt;br /&gt; Between a man and a woman?

'''Never Be Mine'''

* I look at you and see &lt;br /&gt; my life that might have been &lt;br /&gt; your face just ghostly in the smoke. &lt;br /&gt; They're setting fire to the cornfields &lt;br /&gt; as you're taking me home. &lt;br /&gt; The smell of burning fields &lt;br /&gt; will now mean you and here.

* '''This is where I want to be. &lt;br /&gt; This is what I need. &lt;br /&gt; This is where I want to be, &lt;br /&gt; But I know that this will never be mine.'''

* I want you as the [[dream]], &lt;br /&gt; Not the [[reality]]. &lt;br /&gt; That clumsy good-bye [[kiss]] could fool me. &lt;br /&gt; But looking back over my shoulder &lt;br /&gt; at you [[happy]] without me.

* The thrill and the hurting &lt;br /&gt; Will never be mine.

'''Rocket's Tail'''
[[File:010712 STS104 Atlantis launch glow.jpg|thumb|right|I saw only a stick on [[fire]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Alone]] on its [[journey]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Home]] to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.]]

* I thought you were crazy, wishing such a thing. &lt;br /&gt; I saw only a stick on fire, &lt;br /&gt; Alone on its journey &lt;br /&gt; Home to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.

* I am a rocket &lt;br /&gt; On fire. &lt;br /&gt; Look at me go, with my tail on fire...

'''This Woman's Work'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TupvVpxY_U Video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I know you have a little [[life]] in you yet. &lt;br /&gt; I know you have a lot of [[strength]] left.'''

* '''I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. &lt;br /&gt; I should be [[hoping]], but I can't stop thinking &lt;br /&gt; Of all the things I should've said, &lt;br /&gt; That I never said. &lt;br /&gt; All the things we should've done, &lt;br /&gt; That we never did. &lt;br /&gt; All the things I should've [[given]], &lt;br /&gt; But I didn't.'''

'''Walk Straight Down The Middle'''

* We're calling out for Middle Street.

* '''We hang on to every line, &lt;br /&gt; And walk straight down the middle of it.'''

* He thought he was gonna [[die]], &lt;br /&gt; But he didn't. &lt;br /&gt; She thought she just couldn't cope, &lt;br /&gt; But she did. &lt;br /&gt; '''We thought it would be so hard, &lt;br /&gt; But it wasn't... &lt;br /&gt; It wasn't easy, though!'''

=== ''[[w:The Red Shoes (album)|The Red Shoes]]'' (1993) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_trs.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Rubberband Girl|Rubberband Girl]]'''

* '''See those [[trees]] &lt;br /&gt; Bend in the wind &lt;br /&gt; I feel they've got a lot more sense than me &lt;br /&gt; You see I try to resist...'''

* A rubberband bouncing back to life &lt;br /&gt; A rubberband bend the beat &lt;br /&gt; If I could learn to give like a rubberband &lt;br /&gt; I'd be back on my feet...


'''[[w:And So Is Love|And So Is Love]]''' - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLHLPbEQ-hE Performance on ''Top of the Pops'' (1994)] 

* '''We let it in &lt;br /&gt; We give it out &lt;br /&gt; And in the end &lt;br /&gt; What's it all about? &lt;br /&gt; It must be love.'''

* '''We used to say &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ah Hell, we're young&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But now we see that life is sad &lt;br /&gt; ''And so is love.'' '''

* What really matters? &lt;br /&gt; It's all we've got &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that enough?

* '''All for love &lt;br /&gt; Just for the sake of love.'''

[[File:Pomegranate02 edit.jpg|thumb|right| What am I singing? A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].]]
'''[[w:Eat the Music|Eat the Music]]'''

* '''Split me open &lt;br /&gt; With devotion &lt;br /&gt; You put your hands in &lt;br /&gt; And rip my heart out &lt;br /&gt; ''Eat the music.'' '''

* [[All]] is revealed &lt;br /&gt; Not only women bleed.

* '''What am I singing? &lt;br /&gt; A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].'''

'''[[w:Moments of Pleasure|Moments of Pleasure]]'''

* I think about us diving &lt;br /&gt; Diving off a rock, into another moment...

*&lt;p&gt;'''Just being alive &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt &lt;br /&gt; These moments given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]].'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we love &lt;br /&gt; To those who will survive...'''&lt;/p&gt;

* And I can hear my mother saying &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Every old sock meets an old shoe&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that a great saying?

* Here come the Hills of Time

'''Song of Solomon'''

* '''The [[Song]] of [[Solomon]] &lt;br /&gt; The song of everyone &lt;br /&gt; Who walks the path &lt;br /&gt; Of the solitary [[heart]].'''

* '''The [[soul]] cries out &lt;br /&gt; Hear a [[woman]] singing &lt;br /&gt; Don't want your bullshit, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Just want your [[sexuality]]. &lt;br /&gt; Don't want excuses, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Write me your [[poetry]] in motion &lt;br /&gt; Write it just for me, yeah &lt;br /&gt; And sign it with a [[kiss]].

* I'll do it for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll be the [[w:Rose of Sharon|Rose of Sharon]] for you &lt;br /&gt; Ooh I'll come in a [[hurricane]] for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll do it for you...

[[File:The Golden Bough - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]]…]]
[[File:Franz von Stuck 003.jpg|thumb|right| Gabriel before me, Raphael behind me, [[Michael (archangel)|Michael]] to my right, Uriel on my left side… In the [[circle]] of [[fire]]…]]
'''Lily'''

* ''Oh thou, who givest sustenance to the [[universe]] &lt;br /&gt; From whom all things proceed &lt;br /&gt; To whom all things return &lt;br /&gt; Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]] &lt;br /&gt; As we journey to thy sacred feet''
** Recited by &quot;Lily&quot;

* I said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Lily, Oh Lily I'm so afraid &lt;br /&gt; I fear I am walking in the Veil of Darkness&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And she said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Child, take what I say &lt;br /&gt; With a pinch of salt &lt;br /&gt; And protect yourself with fire&quot;

* Gabriel before me &lt;br /&gt; Raphael behind me &lt;br /&gt; [[Michael (archangel)]] to my right &lt;br /&gt; Uriel on my left side &lt;br /&gt; In the [[circle]] of [[fire]].

'''[[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]]'''
[[File:Solistin Jovana Ivanovic.jpg|thumb|right|She said &quot;just take off my red shoes &lt;br /&gt; Put them on and your [[dream]]'ll come [[true]]…]]

* '''With no [[words]], with no [[song]] &lt;br /&gt; You can [[dance]] the [[dream]] with your body on &lt;br /&gt; And this curve, is your [[smile]] &lt;br /&gt; And this cross, is your [[heart]] &lt;br /&gt; And this line, is your path &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always thought it would be &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be no illusion &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always dreamt about it &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be really happening to ya...'''

* Feel your hair come tumbling down &lt;br /&gt; Feel your feet start kissing the ground &lt;br /&gt; Feel your arms are opening out &lt;br /&gt; And see your eyes are lifted to [[God]] &lt;br /&gt; '''With no words, with no song &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna dance the dream &lt;br /&gt; And make the dream come true...'''

[[File:St Michael Berlin Engel Statue Kiss.JPG|thumb|right| I don't [[know]] if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there…]]
'''Top of the City'''

* '''I don't know if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there.''' &lt;br /&gt; These streets have never been paved with gold.

* It's no good for you baby &lt;br /&gt; It's no good for you now &lt;br /&gt; Keep looking up for the ladder.

* I don't mind if it's dangerous &lt;br /&gt; I don't mind if it's raining &lt;br /&gt; Take me up to the top of the city &lt;br /&gt; And put me up on the [[Angels|angel]]'s shoulders.

'''Constellation of the Heart'''
[[File:Herz aus Feuer.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]] &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the [[heart]].]]

* We take all the telescopes &lt;br /&gt; And we turn them inside out &lt;br /&gt; And we point them away from the big [[sky]]. &lt;br /&gt; Put your eye right up to the glass. &lt;br /&gt; Here we'll find the constellation of the [[heart]]. &lt;br /&gt; '''Steer your [[life]] by these [[stars]] &lt;br /&gt; On the unconditional [[chance]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]]. &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the heart.'''

* Well we think you'd better wake up capt'n &lt;br /&gt; There's something happen'n up ahead &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it before.

* Who said anything about it hurting? &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be beautiful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be wonderful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be paradise. 

* Ooh find me the man with the ladder &lt;br /&gt; And he might lift me up to the stars. 

* ''Without the pain there'd be no learning &lt;br /&gt; Without the hurting we'd never change.''

'''Big Stripey Lie'''
[[File:Louvre renommée mr1824.jpg|thumb|right|Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.]]

* '''All young gentle dreams drowning &lt;br /&gt; In life's grief &lt;br /&gt; Can you hang on to me?'''

* '''Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to. &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.'''

* Hey all you little waves run away. &lt;br /&gt; Mmm... run away.

'''Why Should I Love You?'''
[[File:Vittore Carpaccio 075.jpg|thumb|right|Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.]]

* This chapter says &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Put it out of your mind&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, give it time....

* The fine purple &lt;br /&gt; The purest gold &lt;br /&gt; The red of the Sacred Heart &lt;br /&gt; The grey of a ghost &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;L&quot; of the lips are open &lt;br /&gt; To the &quot;O&quot; of the Host &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;V&quot; of the velvet &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;E&quot; of my eye &lt;br /&gt; '''The eye in wonder &lt;br /&gt; The eye that sees &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;I&quot; that loves you.'''

* Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.

'''You're the One'''

* '''Let's [[change]] things. &lt;br /&gt; Let's danger it up. &lt;br /&gt; We're [[crazy]] enough. &lt;br /&gt; I just can't take it.

* You're the only one I want...

* I know where I'm going. &lt;br /&gt; But I don't want to leave. &lt;br /&gt; I just have one problem &lt;br /&gt; We're best friends, yeah? &lt;br /&gt; We tied ourselves in knots &lt;br /&gt; Doing cartwheels 'cross the floor &lt;br /&gt; Just forget it alright.

=== ''[[w:Aerial (album)|Aerial]]'' (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_aerial.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

==== A Sea of Honey (Disc 1) ====
[[File:Elvis Presley 1970.jpg|thumb|right|[[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a [[happy]] man?]]
'''[[w:King of the Mountain (song)|King of the Mountain]]'''

* '''Could you see the aisles of women? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see them screaming and weeping? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the [[storm]] rising? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the guy who was driving? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb higher and higher? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb right over the top?'''

* [[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a happy man? &lt;br /&gt; In the snow with ''[[w:Citizen_Kane#.22Rosebud.22|Rosebud|]]'' &lt;br /&gt; And King of the Mountain.

* Another Hollywood waitress &lt;br /&gt; Is telling us she's having your baby &lt;br /&gt; And there's a rumour that you're on ice &lt;br /&gt; And you will rise again someday. '''

[[File:PP 1280x1024.jpg|thumb|right|Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive [[nature]] and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For [[numbers]]…]]
'''π'''

* '''Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive nature and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For numbers &lt;br /&gt; And a complete infatuation with the calculation &lt;br /&gt; Of π.'''

[[File:Pi-unrolled slow.gif|thumb|right|He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]]…]]
* He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]] &lt;br /&gt; 3.14159 26535897932 3846 264 338 3279...

'''Bertie'''

* '''Here comes the sunshine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes that son of mine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes the everything &lt;br /&gt; Here's a song and a song for him.

* You bring me so much joy &lt;br /&gt; And then you bring me &lt;br /&gt; More joy...

'''Mrs. Bartolozzi'''

* Oh and the waves are going out &lt;br /&gt; Oh and the waves are coming in &lt;br /&gt; Out of the corner of my eye &lt;br /&gt; I think I see you standing outside &lt;br /&gt; But it's just your shirt &lt;br /&gt; Hanging on the washing line &lt;br /&gt; Waving it's arm as the wind blows by &lt;br /&gt; And it looks so alive &lt;br /&gt; Nice and white &lt;br /&gt; Just like it's climbed right out &lt;br /&gt; of my washing machine...

'''How To Be Invisible'''

* '''I found a book on how to be invisible &lt;br /&gt; You take a pinch of keyhole, &lt;br /&gt; And fold yourself up, &lt;br /&gt; You cut along the dotted lines. &lt;br /&gt; You think inside out. &lt;br /&gt; You're invisible.'''

[[File:Joan-of-Arc-Paris.jpg|thumb|right| [[Joan of Arc|Joanni]] wears a golden cross and she looks so [[beautiful]] in her armour…]]
'''[[Joan of Arc|Joanni]]'''

* '''All the banners stop waving &lt;br /&gt; And the flags stop flying &lt;br /&gt; And the silence comes over &lt;br /&gt; Thousands of soldiers...'''

* '''Who is that girl? Do I know her face?'''

* Joanni, Joanni wears a golden cross &lt;br /&gt; And she looks so beautiful in her armour &lt;br /&gt; Joanni, Joanni blows a kiss to God &lt;br /&gt; And she never wears a ring on her finger...

'''A Coral Room'''

* There's a city, draped in net &lt;br /&gt; Fisherman net &lt;br /&gt; And in the half light, in the half light &lt;br /&gt; It looks like every tower &lt;br /&gt; Is covered in webs &lt;br /&gt; Moving and glistening and rocking &lt;br /&gt; It's babies in rhythm &lt;br /&gt; As the spider of time is climbing &lt;br /&gt; Over the ruins.

* Put your hand over the side of the boat &lt;br /&gt; What do you feel?

* My mother and her little brown jug &lt;br /&gt; It held her milk &lt;br /&gt; And now it holds our memories...

==== A Sky of Honey (Disc 2) ====
[[File:Sturnella neglecta2.jpg|thumb|right|We're gonna be [[laughing]] about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be [[dancing]] around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so [[good]] [[now]].]]

'''Prelude'''

* Mummy... &lt;br /&gt; Daddy... &lt;br /&gt; The day is full of birds &lt;br /&gt; Sounds like they're saying words...
** Spoken by Bush's son, Berty.

'''Prologue'''

* We're gonna be laughing about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be dancing around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good now.

* It's gonna be so good now &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good &lt;br /&gt; Can you see the lark ascending?

* Oh will you come with us &lt;br /&gt; To find the song of the oil and the brush?

'''An Architect's Dream'''
[[File:Psyche et LAmour.jpg|thumb|right|Watching the painter [[painting]] &lt;br /&gt; And all the [[time]], the [[light]] is [[changing]] &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting…]]

* Watching the painter painting &lt;br /&gt; And all the time, the light is changing &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting &lt;br /&gt; That bit there, it was an accident &lt;br /&gt; But he's so pleased &lt;br /&gt; It's the best mistake, he could make &lt;br /&gt; And it's my favourite piece. &lt;br /&gt; It's just great.

'''The Painter's Link'''
[[File:Blackbird-sunset-03.jpg|thumb|right|Who [[knows]] who wrote that [[song]] of [[summer]], &lt;br /&gt; That [[blackbirds]] [[sing]] at dusk…]]

* So all the colours run &lt;br /&gt; See what they have become &lt;br /&gt; A wonderful sunset

'''Sunset'''

* '''Who knows who wrote that song of summer, &lt;br /&gt; That blackbirds sing at dusk, &lt;br /&gt; This is a song of colour, &lt;br /&gt; Where sands sing in crimson, red and rust, &lt;br /&gt; Then climb into bed and turn to dust. '''

* Every sleepy light &lt;br /&gt; Must say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To the day before it dies &lt;br /&gt; In a sea of honey &lt;br /&gt; A sky of honey &lt;br /&gt; Keep us close to your heart &lt;br /&gt; So if the skies turn dark &lt;br /&gt; We may live on in &lt;br /&gt; Comets and stars.

'''Somewhere In Between'''

* '''It was just so beautiful. 

* '''This is where the shadows come to play twixt the day &lt;br /&gt; And night &lt;br /&gt; Dancing and skipping &lt;br /&gt; Along a chink of light

* Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The waxing and the waning wave &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; What the song and the silence says &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The ticking and the tocking clock &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in a dream between &lt;br /&gt; Sleep and waking up &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; Breathing out and breathing in &lt;br /&gt; Like twilight is neither night nor morning

* Not one of us would dare to break &lt;br /&gt; The silence &lt;br /&gt; And, oh how we have longed &lt;br /&gt; For something that would &lt;br /&gt; Make us feel so...

'''Nocturn'''


* Could be in a dream &lt;br /&gt; Our clothes are on the beach &lt;br /&gt; These prints of our feet &lt;br /&gt; Lead right up to the sea &lt;br /&gt; No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; '''No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; We stand in the Atlantic &lt;br /&gt; We become panoramic...'''

* The stars are caught in our hair &lt;br /&gt; The stars are on our fingers &lt;br /&gt; A veil of diamond dust &lt;br /&gt; Just reach up and touch it &lt;br /&gt; '''The sky's above our heads &lt;br /&gt; The sea's around our legs &lt;br /&gt; In milky, silky water &lt;br /&gt; We swim further and further...'''

[[File:Sunrise-Daytona-Beach-FL.jpg|thumb|right|Oh the [[dawn]] has come &lt;br /&gt; And the [[song]] must be [[sung]] &lt;br /&gt; And the [[flowers]] are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of [[language]] is this?]]
* We dive deeper and deeper &lt;br /&gt; Could be we are here &lt;br /&gt; Could be in my [[dream]] &lt;br /&gt; It came up on the horizon &lt;br /&gt; Rising and rising &lt;br /&gt; In a [[sea]] of honey, a [[sky]] of honey.

[[File:SwansCygnus olor edit2.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] of the [[birds]] are [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.]]
* Bright, white coming alive jumping off of the aerial &lt;br /&gt; All the time it's a changing, like now...

* '''All the time it's a changing &lt;br /&gt; And all the dreamers are waking.'''

'''Aerial'''

* '''Oh the dawn has come &lt;br /&gt; And the song must be sung &lt;br /&gt; And the flowers are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of language is this?'''

* I can't hear a word you're saying &lt;br /&gt; Tell me what are you singing &lt;br /&gt; In the sun

* '''All of the birds are laughing &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.'''

=== ''[[w:50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'' (2011) ===
[[File:Metatrons cube.svg|thumb|right|I was born in a cloud… &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.]]
[[File:Heart in snow.jpg|thumb|right|We've been in love forever.]]&lt;!-- [[File:Ka symbol.svg|thumb|right|Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.]] --&gt;
[[File:Cloches du soir.jpg|thumb|right|I can see [[angels]] standing around you. &lt;br /&gt; 
They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it.]]
[[File:Sq door handle.jpg|thumb|right| There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.]]

'''Snowflake''' 

* '''I was born in a cloud... &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Look up and you'll see me. &lt;br /&gt; You know you can hear me. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

* '''I am ice and dust. I am sky.''' &lt;br /&gt; I can see horses wading through snowdrifts. &lt;br /&gt; My broken hearts, my fabulous dances. &lt;br /&gt; My fleeting song, fleeting. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

'''[[w:Wild Man (Kate Bush song)|Wild Man]]'''

* Lying in my tent &lt;br /&gt; I can hear your cry &lt;br /&gt; Echoing round the mountainside &lt;br /&gt; You sound lonely

* [[w:Yeti|You]] were [[playing]] in the [[snow]] &lt;br /&gt; You were banging on the [[doors]] &lt;br /&gt; You climbed up on the roof &lt;br /&gt; Roof of the [[world]] &lt;br /&gt; You were pulling up the rhododendrons &lt;br /&gt; Loping down the mountain &lt;p&gt; They want to know you &lt;br /&gt; They will hunt you down &lt;br /&gt; Then they will kill you &lt;br /&gt; Run away, run away... &lt;p&gt; We found your footprints in the snow &lt;br /&gt; We brushed them all away... &lt;p&gt; You're the [[wild]] man.
'''Snowed In at Wheeler Street'''

* Excuse me I'm sorry to bother you, &lt;br /&gt; But don't I know you? &lt;br /&gt; There's just something about you. &lt;br /&gt; Haven't we met before? &lt;p&gt; '''We've been in love forever.'''

* When we got on top of the hill, &lt;br /&gt; We saw Rome burning. &lt;br /&gt; I just let you walk away. &lt;br /&gt; I've never forgiven myself.

* And I'd never know where you'd gonna be next &lt;br /&gt; But I'd know that you'd surprise me. 

'''Among Angels''' 

* Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.

* '''Aren't we all the same? In and out of doubt. &lt;br /&gt; I can see [[angels]] standing around you.''' &lt;br /&gt; They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it. &lt;br /&gt; And they will carry you o'er the walls. &lt;br /&gt; If you need us, just call.

* '''There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.''' &lt;br /&gt; You might feel it and just not show it.

=== Singles and rarities ===

[[File:Mourning angel.jpg|thumb| [[All]] the [[worlds]] they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier…]]
'''Disbelieving Angel''' (unreleased demo, c. 1973)
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/song/tda.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''So much for all the [[prayers]] you've [[learned]]. &lt;br /&gt; They are no help to basic needs. &lt;br /&gt; And all the worlds they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier.'''

* I feel so sorry for you, &lt;br /&gt; Believing because they control. &lt;br /&gt; And of all the guardian [[angels]] &lt;br /&gt; They chose me to save your soul! &lt;br /&gt; '''Oh, I'm just trying to explain, &lt;br /&gt; I'm a disbelieving angel.'''

'''Passing Through Air''' (1978)

* '''Passing through [[air]]. &lt;br /&gt; You mix the [[stars]] with your arms.''' &lt;br /&gt; Walking through there. &lt;br /&gt; The [[doom]] of [[eternity]] balms. &lt;br /&gt; [[Skies]] of grey are not today.

* Oh! Don't you throw my [[love]] away, &lt;br /&gt; I need your loving, I need your loving...

''' The Magician''' (1979)

* '''When you reach for a [[Stars|star]] &lt;br /&gt; Only [[angels]] are there &lt;br /&gt; And it's not very far &lt;br /&gt; Just a step on a stair &lt;br /&gt; Take a look at those [[clowns]] &lt;br /&gt; And the tricks that they play &lt;br /&gt; In the circus of life &lt;br /&gt; Life is bitter and gay &lt;p&gt; There are clowns in the night &lt;br /&gt; Clowns everywhere &lt;br /&gt; See how they run &lt;br /&gt; Run from despair ...
** This was a song written for the soundtrack of ''[[w:The Magician of Lublin (film)|The Magician of Lublin]]'' (1979), based on the 1960 novel by [[Isaac Bashevis Singer]]; Kate's singing of it appears at times in the background within the film - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkfbkVKmbG0 YouTube video] 

* When the [[fantasy]] bells &lt;br /&gt; Of the [[universe]] ring &lt;br /&gt; You can fly through the [[sky]] &lt;br /&gt; On a dragonfly's wing. &lt;br /&gt; '''There is [[magic]] within &lt;br /&gt; There is magic without &lt;br /&gt; Follow me and you'll learn &lt;br /&gt; Just what life's all about.'''

'''[[w:December Will Be Magic Again|December Will Be Magic Again]]''' (1980)

* ''[[December]] will be [[magic]] again.'' &lt;br /&gt; Take a husky to the ice &lt;br /&gt; While [[w:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]] sings [[w:White Christmas (song)|White Christmas]]. &lt;br /&gt; He makes you feel nice. &lt;br /&gt; '''December will be magic again.'''

* See how I fall like the snow, &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the lovers, &lt;br /&gt; (But don't you wake them up) &lt;br /&gt; Come to sparkle the dark up, &lt;br /&gt; With just a touch of make up. &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the muck up. &lt;br /&gt; ''' Ooh with a little luck — &lt;br /&gt; December will be magic again. '''

* December will be magic again. &lt;br /&gt; Don't miss the brightest star, &lt;br /&gt; Kiss under mistletoe, &lt;br /&gt; '''I want to hear you laugh, &lt;br /&gt; Don't let the mystery go now.'''

[[File:Rosa sp.181.jpg|thumb|Go right to the [[rose]]. Go right to the white rose …]]
'''Warm And Soothing''' (1980)

* Warm and soothing &lt;br /&gt; That's how I remember home. &lt;br /&gt; Walking into arms through the back door &lt;br /&gt; Hearing voices I know well and long for.

* I'm reeling in the music, &lt;br /&gt; And I've only had a few... &lt;br /&gt; And I'm afraid by the way we grow old... &lt;br /&gt; My darling...

'''Under the Ivy''' (1985)
[[File:Efeu Blatt.JPG|thumb| It's not easy for me to give away a [[secret]] — It's not [[safe]]…]]
* '''This little girl inside me &lt;br /&gt; Is retreating to her favourite place. &lt;br /&gt; Go into the garden. &lt;br /&gt; Go under the ivy, &lt;br /&gt; Under the leaves, &lt;br /&gt; Away from the party. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the rose. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the white rose &lt;br /&gt; (For me.)'''

* ''' It's not easy for me &lt;br /&gt; To give away a secret — &lt;br /&gt; It's not safe...'''

[[File:Joseph Mallord William Turner, English - The Burning of the Houses of Lords and Commons, October 16, 1834 - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb| As we cross the [[bridge]] — the burning bridge — With [[flames]] behind us, We front the line. It's you and me, baby, against the [[world]].]]
'''Burning Bridge''' (1985)
* ''' I know it works for me. &lt;br /&gt; As we cross the bridge — the burning bridge — &lt;br /&gt; With flames behind us, &lt;br /&gt; We front the line. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me, baby, against the world.'''

'''Be Kind To My Mistakes''' (1986)
:&lt;small&gt;Song for the film [[w:Castaway (Lucy Irvine)|''Castaway'' (1986)]]; later included in the collection ''This Woman's Work''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I don't know you, &lt;br /&gt; And you don't know me. &lt;br /&gt; It is this that brings us together. '''

'''You Want Alchemy''' (B-side of [[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]] single) (4 April 1994)
[[File:Winged Sun alchemical.jpg|thumb|right|Did you [[know]] they can [[change]] it [[all]]? &lt;br /&gt; They got [[alchemy]].]]

* What a lovely afternoon &lt;br /&gt; On a [[w:Cloudbusting|cloudbusting]] kind of day. &lt;br /&gt; We took our own 'Mystery Tour' &lt;br /&gt; And got completely lost somewhere up in the hills. &lt;p&gt; And we came up on a bee-keeper, &lt;br /&gt; And he said &quot;'''Did you know they can change it all?'''&quot; 

* '''They got [[alchemy]].''' &lt;br /&gt; They turn the roses into gold &lt;br /&gt; They turn the lilac into honey &lt;br /&gt; They're making love for the peaches. &lt;p&gt; '''And they'll do it, &lt;br /&gt; Do it for you.'''

== Quotes about Kate Bush ==
:&lt;small&gt;Arranged alphabetically by author.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Emilybronte retouche.jpg|thumb|right|People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that song. ~ Alan Bentley]]

* '''One of the main things that brings people to the Brontë Museum from all over the world is Kate Bush.''' We have copies of her No 1 hit single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; in our collection of [[Emily Brontë|Brontë]]-related items. '''People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that [[song]].'''
** Alan Bentley, director of the [http://www.bronte.org.uk/Brontë Parsonage Museum]

* To me, Kate Bush will always represent the age of exploring your sexuality, when you change from a girl to a woman. I guess that's what I found fascinating about Kate, she totally stuck out. She created her own look and sound. There's a timelessness to her music.
** [[Björk]]

* I think she is still relevant. It's nice to see people reinvent themselves. She was a great performer and a great singer. I like that song, you know the one, &quot;It's me, I'm Cathy…&quot; I love that song. I remember listening to it growing up.
** [[w:Mutya Buena|Mutya Buena]] of [[w:Sugababes|Sugababes]]

* '''I know this may give her a mystique and make the press all the more curious about her, but that's not the intention; it's not a ploy to get her more attention. She genuinely doesn't see why people should be interested in her personal life and she certainly doesn't like going out to clubs or trendy restaurants. It's just not her.'''
** Paddy Bush, Kate's brother, as quoted in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; by Amy Standen, in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* For me, it's not important how well the songs will be received because I think she's already an amazing influence in what she's done. I listen to her stuff a lot while I sketch and I think there is a weird sense of emotional encouragement in her work. There's something therapeutic in her voice and in her attitude, so that sometimes just listening to it can encourage you or give you some kind of energy.
** [http://www.widemedia.com/fashionuk/fashion/catwalk-archive/lfw-ss01/hc.html Hussein Chalayan, fashion designer]

* I didn't realise how commercially successful she might be. I thought of her more really, I suppose, in the terms of someone like [[Joni Mitchell]] — the level of a lady who's very talented, but would appeal to a more esoteric audience. But she had different ideas.
** [[David Gilmour]] of [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] who helped Kate's career get started.

* '''Kate Bush's celebrated full return to the stage after a 35-year absence is proving that absence makes the heart grow fonder.''' Eight positions of the current British albums chart are occupied by the art-rock icon's albums, according to ''The New York Times'', which sets a new record for the artist, whose 1978 debut single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; made her the first female in British charts history to have a self-written Number One. &lt;br /&gt; In addition to being the only woman in U.K. charts history to have that many albums in the Top 40, Bush is now trailing [[Elvis Presley]] and the [[Beatles]] for having simultaneous Top 40 records; Presley had 12 at one point in his career, while the Beatles, at another time, had 11.
** Kory Grow, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/kate-bush-pens-letter-thanking-fans-following-concert-run-20141022 &quot;Kate Bush Lands Eight Albums on British Chart Following Comeback Shows&quot;, in ''Rolling Stone'' (2 September 2014)]

* One of music's most reclusive and enigmatic figures has re-emerged into what some have seen as a rich era for British female singer-songwriters. Bush's new double album, ''Aerial'', is due out in November, only her eighth after three decades in the business. It will be treated with due reverence.
** Terry Kirby in [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece ''The Independent''] (2 September 2005)

* That's a song where we were listening to a lot of Kate Bush last summer, and we wanted a song which had a lot of tom-toms in it,I just had my daughter up also, and was kind of feeling in a sense of awe and wonderment, so the song is kind of a Kate Bush song about miracles.
** [[Chris Martin]], on the links between [[Coldplay]]'s song &quot;Speed of Sound&quot; and Kate Bush's &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running up that Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;. He later said &quot;we tried to copy the drums, guitar, melody….etc&quot;

* '''Of course she's still relevant. I wasn't actually in the country when her music first came out, so I only discovered it three or four years ago. What's amazing is that something like &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; still sounds so different.''' I actually saw her about nine months ago, we were just passing at an industry event and I went up to her and said I was a big fan and asked her about the new record. She was really excited about it but quite nervous because she felt that everyone was hyping it up a bit and she just wanted to bring out an album. You know, she's a musician.
** [[Katie Melua]]

* Her music remains reassuringly the same ecstatic alchemy of the humdrum and otherworldly. Recalling the hello-clouds wonder of The Big Sky from 1985's ''Hounds of Love'' or the frank paean to menstruation that is Strange Phenomena from her debut, ''The Kick Inside'', ''Aerial'' finds Bush marvelling in the magic of the everyday: the wind animating a skirt hanging on a clothes line, the trace of footprints leading into the sea, the indecipherable codes of birdsong.
** ''MOJO'' magazine as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)

* '''I simply think she is one of the greatest figures in British music over the last 30 years. There are an awful lot of people in the business wandering around claiming to be artists, but she is one of the few who can genuinely make that claim... I don't think there is any competition, she's on a different level and quite outside them all.'''
** Paul Rees, editor of ''Q'' Magazine, as quoted in ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

* Could Keely Garfield be the Kate Bush of downtown dance? The question is raised by “Wow,” the bizarre, hilarious, enthralling, confounding and cathartic new work that Ms. Garfield presented on Thursday at Danspace Project. Surely it is the recent comeback tour of Ms. Bush that has put that singer-songwriter on Ms. Garfield's mind. But it is “Wow” that suggests the comparison: two British-born women, intensely idiosyncratic and theatrical with outlandish taste in costumes, who follow their imaginations uninhibitedly. &lt;br /&gt; The salient difference would seem to be irony. Much of Ms. Bush's power stems from her absolute [[sincerity]], the sense that she is unaware that anyone might find what she's doing ridiculous. But Ms. Garfield has always been wry, droll, deadpan. Her assertion in a program note that she meant “Wow” to be “entirely sincere without a hint of irony or cleverness” cannot and should not be taken as entirely sincere. &lt;br /&gt; The program also credits Matthew Brookshire with “music inspired by the poetry of Kate Bush.” What we actually hear, though, are Kate Bush songs. Some are played in the original recordings, some chopped up and looped, but most are performed live by the marvelous Mr. Brookshire, on vocals and piano, joined by Ms. Garfield and her four terrific dancers. The arrangements are stripped down and seductively vibrant. Some lyrics are recited in a manner between sports cheer and Greek chorus. Some singsongy melodies are swapped for the tunes of actual nursery rhymes. &lt;br /&gt; Ms. Garfield, in other words, does not shy from the naïveté of her material. Much of her choreography illustrates the lyrics literally, in the manner of a children's pageant.
** Brian Seibert, in [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/18/arts/dance/keely-garfield-draws-on-kate-bush-at-danspace-project.html &quot;Sincerity and Irony Meet on the Dance Floor&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (17 December 2014)]

* '''With a voice you either love or hate, she belts out a song with a desperation that grabs you and won't let go.'''
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* Bush has always teetered dangerously at the edge of sentimentality and cliché, and her early songs (what one reviewer called her “soft-focus Victorian melodramas”) could have gone all wrong had her bizarre phrasing not somehow let us know how serious she was. &lt;br /&gt; '''Bush sang melodramas, but she meant them like truth; those “oohs” aren't filler. The conviction in her voice, the baldness and great crushing desperation of it, is overpowering.''' It's the kind of music that grabs your innards and you turn it up, squint your eyes with the strain of it. Kate Bush was younger than 20 when she wrote “Wuthering Heights.” She couldn't (and still can't) read or write music, but she knew how to make a song true, how to up the tension with a key change, repeat the chorus with a hardness in her voice. &lt;br /&gt; She was a prodigy, an 18-year-old who looked 35, with an ethereal voice and a knack for inventive songwriting. She looks, in photos of the time, simultaneously naive and defiant, like someone who doesn't need other people. Much later in life, when she was asked in an interview with ''Rolling Stone'' why she toured so infrequently, Bush replied: “'''The more I got into presenting things to the world, the further it was taking me away from what I was, which was someone who just used to sit quietly at a piano and sing and play. It became very important to me not to lose sight of that.'''” &lt;br /&gt; In other words, Bush decided early on that our approval didn't matter. She was doing this from herself and largely for herself and if people didn't like her, or if they didn't understand her, well then, screw them.
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* I'm really looking forward to Kate Bush's return — I'm no expert on her work but I know some of it and I think she's an incredibly original and talented artist. Anyone who writes most of an album like her first album, ''The Kick Inside'', at 15 years old has got to be pretty special.
** [[w:KT Tunstall|KT Tunstall]]

* '''When EMI invites a group of journalists to the Royal Academy of Music, in London, for a one-off listen to Kate Bush's new album, they are sending a clear signal — this album is not to be dismissed lightly.'''
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is, in a sense, a lyric poem set to music. Full of lush, fecund melodies which swing from jazz to rock, it is threaded through with bird song and chatter and feels distinctly organic and earthy.... Side two is the album Pink Floyd might have made if Kate Bush had been their lead singer and lyricist in 1979.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)
** '''Bush has written a lyric poem set to music, which has an epic quality, transporting the listener to a deeply lush and fertile landscape.''' Lyrically cryptic, but strangely seductive, side two is the album [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] might have made in 1979 if Bush had been their lead singer. &lt;br /&gt; '''Concept albums are not everyone's cup of tea — but this is a masterpiece.'''
*** Variant in a later [http://web.archive.org/web/20090115012224/http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/release/fprg/ BBC summary review] 

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is a celebration of song itself, which has a child's joyful lack of inhibition about it — Kate Bush is heard laughing freely towards the end while a young child, possibly her son, is heard several times... Aerial stands alongside The Hounds of Love and The Kick Inside as her finest work.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* I always heard about Kate Bush being considered one of the most influential female artists during the modern era of pop/rock music, but never understood what her appeal was... But when I recently stumbled upon her debut 1978 single, &quot;Wuthering Heights,&quot; I found myself spending hours absorbing as much of her pre-1985 material as possible . . . Listening to an early Kate Bush album brings you far, far, away to a dreamworld filled with pixies and love and Peter Pan and pure hearts . . .''' &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; and the rest of ''The Kick Inside'' display all of Bush's trademarks: a literary consciousness; flourishing, heartfelt waves and the ability to successfully incorporate just about every eccentric vocal style you've never heard into each song.'''
** Jared Wolfe, in ''The Cornell Daily Sun'' (20 October 2005)

* '''Illusion, dance, mime, even magic — the Tour of Life, as it was called, had the lot.''' &lt;br /&gt; I shan't forget the way those [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]]-like whale sounds that open The Kick Inside album heralded Kate's entry to the stage as waves were projected on huge screens and her band launched into Moving. &lt;br /&gt; For a split second, the audience thought Kate was lip-synching because there was no microphone, but in pre-dating Madonna by a couple of decades, she was wearing a headset to allow free movement around the stage. &lt;br /&gt; Every song from that first album was performed before the switch to stuff from follow-up Lionheart, virtually every number warranting a change of costume and stage set. ... '''The entire show was pure theatre.'''
** Jade Wright, quoting a fan who was at the opening of Kate's one and only musical tour, in [http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-entertainment/liverpool-arts/2007/10/29/kate-bush-at-the-empire-april-3-1979-100252-20025105/ &quot;Kate Bush at the Empire, April 3, 1979&quot; by Jade Wright in the ''Liverpool Echo'' (29 October 2007)]

=== The Unique Poetry Of Kate Bush (1985) ===
[[File:Rosen - Frederick Delius.jpg|thumb|Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her [[music]] will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it. ~ Sue Hudson]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/reaching/i85_hifi.html Review by Sue Hudson] in ''Hi-Fi &amp; Record Review'' (December 1985)&lt;/small&gt;

* We've been holding our breath for a long time. Three years of playing the old songs and wondering &quot;whatever next?&quot; Would it be even weirder than ''The Dreaming?'' Would it leave more admirers by the wayside, shaking their heads?... The real fans will happily go along for the ride, even if she isn't going the pretty way. 

* '''Kate journeys into new and exciting territories. She is an original in a [[music]] [[world]] dominated by cover versions, regressive movements and identikit superstars.''' The direct opposite of the archetypal rock star: compulsively introvert in a world of screaming extraverts, middle-class and deeply English amid England's all-pervasive working class American ethos, boldly feminine in rock's macho climate. '''Her melodic genius and articulate lyrics make the rest seem moronically simplistic.'''

* After a thousand songs on the theme of boy-meets-girl-boy-loses-girl or Thatcher's Britain, exposure to her music comes as an imaginative release as we go giddily flying into the limitless possibilities of the poetic viewpoint. Here is talk of whales, of Peter Pan, kites, Houdini, mysticism... '''Acquaintances have observed, &quot;She lives in a world of her own.&quot; But it's a world that lives within [[all]] of us, and her [[songs]] shine [[light]] into neglected areas of our [[minds]].'''

* Her subjects come tripping from library shelves, television and cinema screens and musty books of fairy tales, the stuff that dreams are made of. She spins tunes that haunt, twist and turn the mind, triggering long forgotten moods. Listening intently to her albums is an experience akin to having a lucid and feverish dream. [[Jungian]] [[symbols]] of youth, [[innocence]], [[spiritual]] escape and the dark, feminine realm abound. [[Ghosts]] haunt the black vinyl grooves... But it's not all brooding intensity. There are [[jokes]], too...

* '''It's a mischievous [[paradox]] that, while rock at its ultra-macho best is exhilarating and energizing, yet just at the moment when it is most strident and loud it leaves you needing something more. Then along comes a shy doctor's daughter from Welling who out-screams the best, out-powers the noisiest and tops it with the satisfying impact of musical and psychological depth.''' It's almost [[Richard Wagner|Wagnerian]].'''

* '''Her [[talent]] was precocious.''' &quot;The Saxophone Song&quot; and &quot;The Man With the Child in His Eyes&quot; were recorded as demo tapes when Kate was still at school. The first album, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978), caused tremendous media interest and is still the public's favourite. '''Her [[voice]], criticized at the time, was small and childlike, the range erratic, if impressive. Since then it has improved enormously, deepening and gaining power and flexibility, until now it is a great asset, individual and capable of both subtle and stunning effects.'''

* The album ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' came next and starts in happy mood, with a summer night of a cha-cha-cha tribute to a new-found hero, &quot;[[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]]&quot;. The philosophic All We Ever Look For creates a remarkable and rare mood of reassurance and upbeat resignation, a Bush specialty . . . The end comes in the horrifying &quot;Breathing&quot;, a vision of the nuclear holocaust through the eyes of an unborn child.

* On to ''[[w:The Dreaming|The Dreaming]]'', a strange, alien album full of [[mysticism]] and obscurantae. Its impact owes much to sheer production quality. Kate has gradually taken over this aspect of her records since ''[[w:Lionheart|Lionheart]]'', and each LP is technically more impressive. Her voice here is forward and strong and, on &quot;Leave It Open&quot;, deliberately distorted to create a surreal effect. Get Out of My House is a shattering trip into madness, with a stunning culmination which finds Kate braying like a mule amid a chorus of Indian drum talk.

* The new album, ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'', breaks new ground for Kate with the b-side. This is a story — The Ninth Wave — told in a series of songs, like a Pink Floyd concept album.

* '''Casual listeners will miss the depth of the music.''' You must sit down with the lyric sheet and find out what's going on. All the vocal acrobatics and weird sounds click into place when you know what ideas, stories and situations they are expressing. In most rock and pop, the music and words may be linked, but are basically separate. '''Kate creates, more and more, a fusion between the two — the sounds directly expressing the subject.''' This is a throwback to Wagner's music-drama, with its leitmotifs, turning music into an idea. The [[Beatles]] revived the technique, and bands of the hippy era like [[Pink Floyd]] carried the banner. . . Kate is fast becoming a master in the use of this sonic montage, perhaps because the ideas she is using are far more complex, have more &quot;resonances&quot;, than those of her contemporaries.

* '''Kate will never be an academic artist, drily applying intellectual music theory to the delight of a handful of peers, forging into new areas for the sake of &quot;progress&quot;. Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her music will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it.''' I just hope that she will have the confidence to follow her instincts and not be discouraged by the music press, who in the main are baffled and annoyed by her uniqueness. Unable to pigeon-hole her music, they turn instead to ridicule and condescension to fill the pages. Which is a disservice to the British public who, to their undying credit, have made Kate Bush such a popular success.

===Kate Bush rules, OK? (2005) ===
[[File:Let Love Rule.jpg|thumb|right|Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Article by [[w:Michael Berkeley|Michael Berkeley]], published in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1589379,00.html ''The Guardian''] (11 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* When the conductor Richard Hickox rang me one day in 1984 to ask if I could help with a rather unusual job for which he and his choir had been engaged, I was intrigued. Kate Bush, it transpired, was working on her new album, ''Hounds of Love'', and for one track, Hello Earth, she wanted a chorus to recreate the orthodox singing/chanting that made such a contribution to the film ''[[Nosferatu]]''.

* '''I had always considered Kate Bush truly original both as a performer and as a songwriter with an unusually fresh sense of harmony.''' If her new album next month is awaited with some excitement after a long fallow period, then in 1985 it was assumed that ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' would be something of a final fling at the conclusion of a waning career. '''I soon realised how wrong this assumption was when Kate sent me a cassette''': it was zany, ambitious and yet utterly Kate Bush, but with gaps where I was to do her bidding. Having chatted at length, she sent me a long letter with the words of the song and precise instructions on how it should unfold...''' Structure was carefully delineated, verses and choruses written out fully and marked up in colour, and she talked of the sound quality in the most graphic terms.'''

* '''Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.''' I have always been fascinated by the difference of dynamics at work between popular artists and conventionally trained classical musicians, and had a similar experience with [[The Edge|the Edge]], of [[U2]], when we worked together on the score of a film called ''Captive''. '''In fact, gifted &quot;pop&quot; musicians like Bush and U2 are far more demanding of themselves in the studio than classical musicians can afford to be, and will spend days working on a tiny fragment.'''

* Come the recording day, a group of male choristers, more accustomed to singing church services than backing vocals, descended on Bush's home, which was equipped with its own studio. Doubtless they were imagining that they were about to meet a wild-eyed rock babe, but Kate, quiet and unassuming — the kind of sympathetic, slightly shy girl who greets you from behind the counter at the local chemist — introduced us to her friend the bass player [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], who engineered the session. None of the singers or Richard had ever gone over and over four or five phrases so exactingly. No measure of Bach or Mozart had, in their experience, been subjected to such surgical scrutiny, and I began to worry that their voices might begin to tire. '''But Bush knew and got what she wanted and &quot;Hello Earth&quot; is, I think, a remarkable track on the album that finally broke the American market and established her as an iconic and hugely influential figure. I can't wait to hear what she has been up to now.'''

=== Admit it, guys, she's a genius (2005) ===
[[File:Genius logo.png|thumb|right|For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html Article by Kitty Empire, in ''The Observer''] (30 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.''' ... Before disgust stopped me getting dragged into these skirmishes, I had a ready arsenal of Girl Greats — [[Patti Smith]], [[Björk]], [[w:Nina Simone|Nina Simone]], [[w:Delia Derbyshire|Delia Derbyshire]], [[w:Polly Harvey|Polly Harvey]], and so on. And yet, there would often be some caveat why genius eluded my candidates (ripped off Dylan etc). '''Until we would get to Kate. Female genius? Kate Bush. End of. &lt;br /&gt; ''Aerial'', the first Kate Bush album in a young lifetime (12 years), re-establishes the fact. It is extraordinary — jaw-dropping, no less.'''

* ''Aerial'' succeeds because it's all there for a reason. And because the good stuff is just so sublime. 'King of the Mountain', Bush's Elvis-inspired single, is both a fine opener and a total red herring. Bush's juices really get going on 'Pi', a sentimental ode to a mathematician, audacious in both subject matter and treatment. The chorus is the number sung to many, many decimal places. It's closely followed by a gushing ode to Bush's son, Bertie, that's stark and medieval-sounding. The rest of disc one (aka ''A Sea of Honey'') sets a very high bar for disc two, with the Joan of Arc-themed 'Joanni' and the downright poppy 'How to Be Invisible' raising the hair on your arms into a Mexican wave. &lt;br /&gt; Disc two, subtitled ''A Sky of Honey'', is a suite of nine tracks which, among other things, charts the passage of light from afternoon ('Prologue') to evening ('An Architect's Dream', 'The Painter's Link') and through the night until dawn. Things get a little hairier here.

* '''It's clear Bush is still a force to be reckoned with. The problem, though, with female genius — for many men at least — is that very frequently it is not like male genius. And with its songs about children, washing machines going 'slooshy sloshy', Joan of Arc, Bush's mother, not to mention the almost pagan sensuality that runs through here like a pulse, Aerial is, arguably, the most female album in the world, ever.''' ... the artistry here is so dizzying, the ambition and scope so vast, that even the deafest, most inveterate misogynist could not fail to acknowledge it. '''Genius. End of.'''

=== Kate Bush: Finally, something for the grown-ups (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''The Independent'' (31 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Such is the idiosyncratic nature of her work that she could probably disappear for a half-century and still sustain her own unique position in the pop firmament.''' But then, who else would write about an obsessive-compulsive housewife or attempt a vocal duet with trilling birds, or, in the most courageous of the album's many unusual strategies, sing huge strings of numbers, a gambit that brings new meaning to the old critic's chestnut about being happy to listen to someone singing the telephone directory?

* Many years ago, back near the start of her career, she regarded the domestic demands of motherhood as a dubious prospect, claiming her work was her love, and how could she do that and bring up a child at the same time? The answer, presumably, was not to work for a dozen years.

* She has always freely admitted being like a little girl in many ways, and furthermore, happily presumes she'll still be that way in her dotage. It's certainly still a factor on ''Aerial'' , both in the track &quot;Bertie&quot; itself and in the memories and reminiscences that cobweb some other songs. But compared to the darker corners of the mind sometimes mined in earlier songs, the new album seems a much sunnier affair: an enduring image I took away from it — not necessarily a lyric, though it might have been — was of windows flung wide open, their curtains billowing out in the breeze, a room's long-dormant dust stirred into life again.

* She's unafraid, too, of tackling more problematic areas of sexuality, as for instance when she dealt with cradle-snatching in &quot;The Infant Kiss&quot; and incest in &quot;The Kick Inside&quot;. But not all that seems erotic in her music is about sex, as an EMI employee discovered when he found her working on the hypnotic &quot;out-in-out-in&quot; chant section of &quot;Breathing&quot; (from 1980's ''Never For Ever''), and expressed outrage at EMI's young pop princess making such an overtly sexual record. The song is, of course, about breathing. Duhhh!

* At around an hour and a half, Aerial is unquestionably a substantial piece of work, and its manifold peculiarities and quirks offer much more interesting fare than that available from today's AOR mainstream. It's also a more mature undertaking than any of her previous albums, an extended meditation on art and light, fame and family, creativity and the natural world. Indeed it seems, come to think of it, like an expansion of the theme of Laura Veirs' gorgeous &quot;Rapture&quot;. And since that was the finest song of last year, I'd have to say that leaves Kate Bush still operating at the cutting-edge of intelligent adult pop, every bit as relevant now as at any point in her career. Just a little bit weirder, thank heavens.

=== ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014) ===
[[File:Viv Albertine.jpg|thumb|&quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; … this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'' ~ [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]] ]] 
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of various people from the BBC documentary [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4sLwt8mhZs ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014)], listed alphabetically.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Tori Amos 2 pianos.jpg|thumb|I remember, I had to pull over, and [[listen]] to it, because I'd never [[heard]] anything like it. ~ [[Tori Amos]] ]]
[[File:Big Boi Counterpoint.jpg|thumb|That's [[w:Running Up That Hill|one of like my all-time favorite songs]], dude … every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord. ~ [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]] ]] 
[[File:St Vincent by Sachyn Mital.jpg|thumb|You don’t ever get the sense that she's making [[music]] to pander to anyone. I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her [[true]] [[vision]] whenever you get a Kate Bush record. ~ [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]] ]]
[[File:Peter Gabriel Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|Kate's wonderful [[voice]] is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of [[love]] out there for them. ~ [[Peter Gabriel]] ]]
[[File:Gaiman-headshot.jpg|thumb|One of the things I [[love]] about Kate Bush is her absolute [[ability]] to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them [[work]]. ~ [[Neil Gaiman]] ]]
[[File:David Gilmour - live 8 - edited.jpg|thumb|I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; ~ [[David Gilmour]] ]]
[[File:Elton John in Norway 5.jpg|thumb|[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|That record she did]] with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my [[life]]. ~ [[Elton John]] ]]
[[File:Miss Khan.jpg|thumb|She seems to have an endless kind of [[ability]] to put herself in and with [[empathize]] with different [[characters]] and viewpoints. ~ [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]] ]]
[[File:John Lydon at the Hammersmith Odeon, 2008-09-02 (4).jpg|thumb|My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] … It’s a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things. ~ [[John Lydon]] ]]
[[File:Lindsey Kemp Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|I got back to my [[home]] … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn’t know she had any aspirations of being a [[singer]]. She never talked about herself. ~ [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]] ]] 
[[File:Tricky mp3h1943.jpg|thumb|I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to. … When I first heard [[Billie Holiday]], I'd never heard anything like that in my [[life]] — the same with Kate Bush. ~ [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]] ]]

* When Kate Bush came along, sort of '78, I was in [[w:The Slits|The Slits]] , and I remember I was sitting in a van outside our singer's house, waiting to do a gig, and &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; And I kept waiting for the melody to repeat, because, you know, at that time, pop music was very much Radio One, you know it was repeating melodies very quickly, and '''this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'''''
** [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]]

* '''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'s just one of those song's you just can't get out of your head, can you?''' You know, how she just takes a word, and you start seeing images and pictures. To a word that maybe you haven't used ... it's &quot;Babooshka&quot; and she's turned that into an emotion, that's just how she's able to use a combination of a word and a combination of a melody and the rhythm of that, and it creates a new language.
** [[Tori Amos]]

* I just remember pulling aside, I was driving, and I heard it on the radio, in the states — and she didn't really get played a lot in the states, until that song — that really got played — a lot. '''I remember, I had to pull over, and listen to it, because I'd never heard anything like it.'''
** [[Tori Amos]], on first hearing &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* The intention is to tell a story, to create a sonic world for us, a sonic ''painting'', for us to walk into, without having to see her. She's transcending that. '''She's [[choosing]] to transcend that. And that's a very powerful thing to do.'''
** [[Tori Amos]]

* '''I don't think she's ever particularly wanted to &quot;play the game&quot;, has she?''' But when you've done ''great'' work, like she's done, and then you retract from the public, people almost have to make up their own version of you, don't they?
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]]

* I've spent ''many, many'' hours listening to that 30 minutes of [[music]]. It's an incredible piece of music, and '''I would advise anyone who's never heard it to go and listen to it, because it's one of the ''[[great]]'' pieces of music.'''
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]], on &quot;The Ninth Wave&quot; section of ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]''

*'''She's sort of stretching the fabric, not just of her [[voice]], but of the whole kind of pop form.''' ... It's like a child, it's like a kind of reveling in what her voice can do. 
** [http://katherineangel.com Katherine Angel], on Kate's singing

* '''It's as if, within her voice, there's ''[[everything]]'' — every possible facet of [[human]] [[experience]] is their under her surface, and her [[work]] as a [[writer]] is to constantly draw that out'''. Not just the particularity of her experiences as a female body, but her experience as a person, which is to be prey to all kinds of forces and sensations. 
** Katherine Angel

* '''That's one of like my all-time favorite songs, dude.''' Music is supposed to evoke [[emotion]], you know what I'm saying, It makes you feel a certain way, you know, that's what the vibrations are. Its, its not stagnant, its not just, not just plain — '''every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord.'''	
** [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]], on &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* '''You can hear one note of a Kate Bush song, or one note of her voice even, and know immediately what it is.''' And that is the biggest feat of any artist, especially when you consider, you know, all the roads that she's gone down. 
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on Bush's singing 

* '''For that to have come out of someone's brain, period, is a remarkable feat.''' For that to have come out of someone's brain, at 17 years old — ''this incredible song'', ''incredible'' song ... there aren't that many ''amazing'' pop songs that have two or three key changes in them —‚ and I'm not talking about some modulations, I'm talking: &quot;Okay, now we're in the key of Q.&quot; It's like ''WHAT?'' But it's so brilliant, it's so memorable. I always karaoke that song — ''if I drink enough.''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* I read an interview with her one time, where she was asked, something along the lines of &quot;Why do you write from the perspective of a lot of characters?&quot; and she said very simply and eloquently &quot;because they're more interesting than I am.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''I'm convinced that, as great as that record sounds, if you had anyone else sing it, you know, anyone else try to kind of weave and make it do that thing where it burns like wildfire and it comes alive, ''no one else could do it.''''' It's incredible the way she kind of brings this cold arctic atmosphere, It's just like fire, you know? It's like all ''aaarh'' coming out of her mouth. ... and now I'm listening to the song in my head. &quot;Do you know what I really need? Do you know what I really need? I need lalalala yea yo yea yo your ''love''.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:The Sensual World (song)|The Sensual World]]&quot;

* I still remember going to the CD store and buying ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' when I was 16, and the cover — there was a [[rose]] in front of her mouth, that has bloomed, she's got big wide eyes, and '''I remember, you know, putting it on the shitty car stereo on the way home, you know — ''and my life was forever changed.'''''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''You don't ever get the sense that she's making music to pander to anyone.''' I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her true vision whenever you get a Kate Bush record.
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* She's a gift for satirists. Of course it's easy, because dull artists, especially in pop music, are very difficult to satirize. It's all there on a plate wasn't it?
** [[Steve Coogan]]

* '''I was called by my agent, who said &quot;Would you like to record a track with Kate Bush?&quot; To which there is ''only'' F-ing one possible answer.''' Unless its me ''singing''. I said, &quot;She does know I can't sing?&quot; &quot;No-no-no, it would be voicing, saying words for snow. … I still can't believe it says &quot;Kate Bush-Stephen Fry.&quot; 
** [[Stephen Fry]], talking about his work with Kate on ''[[w: 50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'', and the credits on the album.

* '''She has a very intense poetic mind.''' That's what makes it — ''that voice'' that comes in.
** [[Stephen Fry]], listening to ''50 Words for Snow''

* '''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] is still one of those things, which right from the get-go ... has its own life, because it's just a great song.''' ... For all the time that she or I or anyone spend decorating and creating moods, its actually the key element of what your saying, the melody and the chords which still speak louder than all the stuff around, on a great song. 
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* Creativity comes from the freedom to fail. And freedom to fail comes from experimentation, and that's what gives something its individuality. And, you know, '''I think her courage, which is the positive way of interpreting it, or bloody-mindedness, which is the negative, is part of what gives her real value as an artist.'''
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* It's extraordinary what that song has been used for — I think a lot of people who have gotten into trouble, have attached themselves to that song, and I think a lot of it is Kate's wonderful voice is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of love out there for them.
** [[Peter Gabriel]], on his duet with Kate on his song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* '''I'd never heard anything like it before. It was like [[w:banshee|banshee]] [[music]].''' This absolutely otherworldly voice, singing about a [[book]], and as a bookish kid, I was always fascinated by anything, any music that seems to be about or inspired by books.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* '''One of the things I love about Kate Bush is her absolute ability to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them work.''' [[James Joyce]]'s ''[[Ulysses]]'' — one of the greatest passages in all of English or Anglo-Irish literature, is Molly Bloom's glorious soliloquy ending in a sequence of Yeses. It's about embracing the [[world]] of the [[senses]], embracing [[yourself]], embracing [[sex]], embracing [[love]], embracing the [[future]], embracing ''[[all|all]]'' possibility, and it goes all the way back to me, to &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; — this is somebody who is not afraid of books. '''This is somebody who is not afraid of reading, somebody who's not afraid of writers, and who's not afraid of ''translating'', being an intermediary, being a [[door]], between the world of books and the world of rock.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Kate Bush makes a record, and you don't hear from her. And you play the stuff she has made, and one day you are surprised, and she brings out something else, and she's been quietly working away on it, for however long she wanted to work on it, and I love that. '''I love the willingness to be quiet, until its time to speak — which is something that she does over and over.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Its funny no one ever applies the term &quot;progressive rock&quot; to Kate Bush, but to me its prog. It's the same think I love about the best prog, it's like, the really sort of brash stuff, people showing technical ability, I have no interest in, but the experimental dreamy stuff, that sort of came from many places at once, I set her stuff next to, well next to [[Janis Joplin|Janis]], is the obvious comparison... 
** [[w:Guy Garvey|Guy Garvey]]

* '''I had a listen, I was intrigued ... by this strange voice, and I went to her house, met her parents down in Kent, and she played me, it must have been forty or fifty songs, on tape, and I thought, I should try to do something.''' ... We were making — [[Pink Floyd]] was making the ''Wish You Were Here'' album, and I think we had the record company people down at Abbey Road, in number 3, and I said to them &quot;Do you want to hear something I've got? And they said &quot;sure&quot;, so we found another room, and I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; 
** [[David Gilmour]], on first hearing 15 year old Kate's demo tapes, and meeting with her.

* '''It is absolutely beautiful, isn't it?''' And its a sort of over two years before any of the other recordings she did. That is her singing at the age of 16, and having written those extraordinary lyrics — about whatever they're about.
** [[David Gilmour]], listening to [[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] 

* This is a whole universe I can dive into — and for me, it was very ''avant-garde'', and expressive and kind of from a complete different planet to everything else that you see from the eighties ... it's like she was definitely out their on her own. ... '''She seems to have an endless kind of ability to put herself in and with empathize with different characters and viewpoints.'''
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

* I really ''thank'' Kate, because these touchstones like &quot;This Woman's Work&quot;, that kind of song, it's celebrating everything that's so wonderful about being a woman, and being nurturing, and intuitive and emotional, and gentle and sensual, and just like really intimate. People don't put their hearts on the line in that vulnerable way very much, and me, as an artist myself, it's helped me to not be frightened, to show all, as much of my vulnerability as a woman as possible, and in that be powerful.
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

*''' They're not &quot;normal&quot; songs. None of her songs have been &quot;normal.&quot; She's just who she is, she's unique. She's — a mystery. She's the most beautiful mystery.''' ... Let me tell you a story: when I had my civil partnership, nine years ago, in 2005, and Kate — we invited Kate, we didn't think she'd come but she came, she came with her husband Danny, and '''there were a lot of very famous people in that room, there were like 600 people — and all anybody wanted to meet was Kate Bush.''' I mean, musician, ''anybody'', they couldn't believe Kate Bush was there. She's kind of an enigma. 
** [[Elton John]]

* &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; was not your normal type song — but that's why it was so brilliant. It was something out the norm. When something like that comes along, they don't come along that often. When does the next Kate Bush come along, after Kate Bush? There hasn't been one.
** [[Elton John]]

* '''That record she did with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my life.''' That record helped me get sober. So she played a big part in my actual downfall and kind of &quot;rebirth'&quot; as it were. That record helped me so much. I never told her that, but it did.
** [[Elton John]], on her duet with Peter Gabriel on the song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* When I first heard it, I thought that's ''extremely'' challenging, the vocal — it was almost ''hysterical'', and it was so up there, the register, but it was absolutely fascinating. And I know at the time a lot of my friends couldn't bear it, they thought it was just &quot;too much&quot; — but that's exactly what drew me in. 
** [[John Lydon]], on &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']], and I think she produced that one herself. That got ''a lot of criticism'' — but I ''loved'' it. It was overloaded with textures, and tones and all manner of things. '''It's a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things.'''
** [[John Lydon]]

* I was teaching at the Dance Centre in Covent Garden. Kate turned up, dressed very properly in her ballet tights and things, and her hair straight back, looking very, very professional indeed, a very, very serious student. But as ''timid as hell'', and of course she took a place at the back of the class, you know, I had to ''coax'' her forward. I mean she was ''extremely'' shy, ''extremely'' timid, and of course the first thing I had to do was, you know, bring her out of herself, give her courage. '''I have to say that once Kate actually ''started'' dancing, she was a ''wild'' thing, she was ''wild'''''. … One day, some months after knowing her, I got back to my home … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — '''and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn't know she had any aspirations of being a singer. She never talked about herself.'''
** [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]]

* '''I knew from day one, I knew ... there was no way this girl was not going to make it. She was going to be a ''huge'' success.''' There was no way, because she was so driven for it. And her [[enthusiasm]] for it all was infectious. 
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]]

* The working relationship was never a problem, you know. We always worked together reasonably well, you know, we always argue, and we always have and always will. I've always argued with Kate, and she's always argued with me, but I guess that's just the way it is, you know, so I feel I'm emotionally involved with it all, to a great extent, you know, much more so than most people would imagine. Not only did we have a personal relationship, and I work with her — I really love her music, I really do... to the point, where '''I virtually work with nobody else — because nobody else comes close.'''
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], on the break up of his personal relationship with Kate, and his continued work with her musically.

* '''I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to.''' Where does Kate Bush come from? You can't hear her influences. It's like [[Billie Holiday]], when I first heard Billie Holiday, I'd never heard anything like that in my life — the same with Kate Bush. I can't figure out musically, artistically, who her mother and father is. 	
** [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.katebush.com/ Official site]
* [http://homepage.tinet.ie/~twoms/katebush.htm Kate Bush News]
* [http://gaffa.org/ Gaffaweb - extensive fan site]
** [http://gaffa.org/sensual/l_alpha.html Lyrics of Kate Bush songs at Gaffaweb]
* [http://ectoguide.org/artists/bush.kate Ectophile Guide to Kate Bush] &amp; [http://ectoguide.org/genre Good Music]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Always on the Run : Kate Bush] (bio and lyrics)
* [http://home.att.net/~james51453/ &quot;Cathy&quot; Online version of the book by Kate's brother, John Carder Bush]
* [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/mp3/ Kate Bush in MP3 - early studio demos by Kate Bush, plus other rare recordings.]
* [http://www.katebush.info/ Kate Bush Information and Resources]
* [http://www.angelfire.com/stars4/katebush/Art.html Links to Artwork Inspired By Kate]
* [http://www.ukkatebushfangatherings.co.uk/ UK Kate Bush Fan Gatherings]
* [http://ninthwave.free.fr/ The Ninth Wave - French Language Fan Page]
* [http://children.ofthenight.org/cloudbusting/cloudbusting.html Cloudbusting - Kate In her Own Words]
* [http://fly.hiwaay.net/~cbullard/ Kate Worlds]
* [http://www.heisjohn.com/kate/ The Single File]
* [http://www.antenna.nl/~dinyar/ Bart Dinyar's Discography]
* [http://www.wessex.clara.net/kate/ The Laser File]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Kate Bush Lyrics]
* [http://www.talisman.org/~erlkonig/KT/ Talisman Archive]
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20050205140603/http://members.tripod.com/~BrendanMartin/ The Lost Kate Bush Interview]
* [http://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/kate.bush.html Summary: &quot;The Line, The Cross &amp; The Curve&quot;]
* [http://www.salon.com/people/bc/2001/03/20/kate_bush/print.html Kate Bush] ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)
* [http://www.rollingstone.com/artist/bio/_/id/2069/katebush?pageid=rs.Artistcage&amp;pageregion=artistHeader Brief biography] at ''Rolling Stone''
'''Reviews of ''Aerial'':'''
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial'' (BBC)]
* [http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html &quot;Admit it, guys, she's a genius&quot; - ''The Observer'' (30 October 2005)]
* [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5032773 Kate Bush Returns with 'Aerial'] ([[w:National Public Radio|NPR]] audio review)
* [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece Kate Bush: The sequel&quot;], ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bush, Kate}}

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[[Category:Catholics from England]]
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      <text bytes="131448" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Kate bush 1978 2 (cropped).png|thumb|Just being [[Life|alive]] &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt. &lt;br /&gt; These [[moments]] given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]]. &lt;br /&gt; Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we [[love]]…]]
'''[[w:Kate Bush|Catherine Bush]]''' [[w:Order of the British Empire|CBE]] (born [[30 July]] [[1958]]) is an [[English]] [[singer-songwriter]], [[musician]] and record producer. She is the sister of [[w:Paddy Bush|Paddy Bush]] and [[John Carder Bush]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Before The Dawn Costumes.jpg|thumb|[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].]]
[[File:Kate bush 1978 1.png|thumb|What's [[important]] to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.]]
[[File:Kate Bush at 1986 Comic Relief (cropped).png|thumb|The [[important]] [[people]] are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's [[lives]]. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much [[attention]] on something that's so shallow?]] 
[[File:Kate Bush and Mino Cinelu. BTD, London September 20, 2014.jpg|thumb|I'm really very [[happy]] if [[people]] can [[connect]] at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the [[story]] is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the [[world]].]]
[[File:Kate Bush Before The Dawn 2014.jpg|thumb| I have [[intentions]] as a [[writer]], but people — when they’re listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song’s about something it isn’t. That doesn’t matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it’s great.]]
 
* '''[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].''' You know... they're just ... as important as... um doctors, and priests ... or maybe not as important sometimes, and yet they have this huge aura of almost god-like quality about them, just because their craft makes a lot of money. '''And at the same time it is a ''forced'' importance — you know, football stars and theatre stars — It is man-made so the press can feed off it.'''
** ''Profiles in Rock'' interview (December 1980)

* '''I was trying to say that, really, a man and a woman, can't understand each other because we are a man and a woman. And if we could actually swap each other's roles, if we could actually be in each other's place for a while, I think we'd both be very surprised! ... And I think it would lead to a greater understanding.''' And really the only way I could think it could be done was either... you know, I thought a deal with the devil, you know. And I thought, &quot;well, no, why not a deal with [[God]]!&quot; You know, because in a way it's so much more powerful the whole idea of asking God to make a deal with you. You see, for me it is still called &quot;Deal With God&quot;, that was its title. But we were told that if we kept this title that it would not be played in any of the religious countries, [[Italy]] wouldn't play it, [[France]] wouldn't play it, and [[Australia]] wouldn't play it! [[Ireland]] wouldn't play it, and that generally we might get it blacked purely because it had God in the title.
** On her song &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;, in a [http://gaffa.org/cloud/music/running_up_that_hill.html Radio 1 Classic Albums interview with Richard Skinner (26 January 1992)]

* For me to get into that creative process I have to have a sort of quiet place that I work from. And '''if I was living the life of ... somebody in the industry, as a pop star or whatever, it's too distracting. It's too to do with other people's perceptions of who you are, and what's important to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.''' &lt;br /&gt; And I think, you know, that's something that's very difficult for people who become extremely famous. I mean, I find it completely ridiculous this obsession with celebrities. ... Why are celebrities so important to people? It's absolute crap. I mean, the important people are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's lives. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much attention on something that's so shallow?
** [http://gaffa.org/reaching/iv05_bbc2_Mark_Radcliff_interview.html Interview on ''The Mark Radcliff Show'', ''BBC Radio 2'' (7 November 2005)]

* '''Now [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|all the shows are over]], it's pretty difficult to explain how I [[feel]] about it [[all]].''' It was quite a [[surreal]] journey that kept its level of intensity right from the early stages to the [[end]] of the very last show. It was also such great [[fun]]. &lt;br /&gt; It was one of the most extraordinary [[experiences]] of my [[life]]. I loved the whole process.... I was really delighted that the shows were received so positively and so warmly but the really unexpected part of it all was the audiences. Audiences that you could only ever [[dream]] of. One of the main reasons for wanting to perform live again was to have contact with that audience.They took my breath away. Every single night they were so behind us. You could feel their support from the minute we walked on stage. I just never imagined it would be possible to connect with an audience on such a powerful and intimate level; to feel such, well quite frankly, [[love]]. It was like this at every single show. &lt;br /&gt; Thank you so very much to everyone who came to the shows and became part of that shared experience. It was a truly special and wonderful feeling for all of us.
** An open letter to her fans about her [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|&quot;Before the Dawn&quot; concerts (26 August 2014 - 1 October 2014)]], in [http://www.katebush.com/news/after-dawn &quot;After the Dawn&quot; at her official &quot;FISH P∑ΩPL∑&quot; site &quot;(22 October 2014)]

* '''[[David Bowie]] had everything. He was intelligent, imaginative, brave, charismatic, cool, sexy and truly inspirational both visually and musically.''' He created such staggeringly brilliant work, yes, but so much of it and it was so good. There are great people who make great work but who else has left a mark like his? No one like him.
** Tribute to David Bowie, in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/jan/17/david-bowie-as-seen-by-deborah-harry-chris-kate-bush-stein-carlos-alomar-julien-temple-edwyn-collins &quot;David Bowie, as remembered by…&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (17 January 2016)]

* I think musicians have a responsibility ''to try and do something that is good.'' It's so hard. It's very difficult to pull something out of the hat creatively. Although I say it's their responsibility, it's really just people trying to do the best that they can.
** As quoted in [https://www.thefader.com/2016/11/23/kate-bush-interview-before-the-dawn &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)]

* '''I'm really very happy if people can connect at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the story is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the world.''' I'm sure with a lot of paintings, people don't understand what the painter originally meant, and I don't really think that matters. I just think if you feel something, that's really the ideal goal. If that happens, then I'm really happy.
** As quoted in &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)

* '''As an artist, you're never happy with anything you do. It's part of the process.''' You're never really happy. I'm certainly not. That's a good thing. It means you're always striving to do better. You hope the next piece will be better.
** As quoted in [https://www.macleans.ca/culture/arts/in-conversation-with-kate-bush/ &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)]

* '''The great thing about art on any level is that it can speak to all people if it's achieved properly.''' When I've heard a piece of music or seen a painting that moves me, it gives me something. That's such an incredibly special experience. I have intentions as a writer, but people — when they're listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song's about something it isn't. That doesn't matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it's great.
** As quoted in &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)

=== MOJO interview (2005) ===
[[File:Flag of WHO.svg|thumb|I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that [[people]] think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the [[world]].]]
:&lt;small&gt;Excerpts from an interview in ''MOJO'' magazine (3 November 2005) as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that people think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the world. '''Y'know, I'm a very strong person and I think that's why actually I find it really infuriating when I read, 'She had a nervous breakdown' or 'She's not very mentally stable, just a weak, frail little creature'.'''

* There were so many times I thought, &quot;I'll have the album finished this year, definitely, we'll get it out this year.&quot; Then there were a couple of years where I thought, &quot;I'm never gonna do this.&quot; If I could make albums quicker, I'd be on a roll wouldn't I? '''Everything just seems to take so much time. I don't know why. Time... evaporates.'''

* ''There was a story that some EMI execs had come down to see you and you'd said something like: &quot;Here's what I've been working on,&quot; and then produced some cakes from your oven. True?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;No! I don't know where that came from. I thought that was quite funny actually. It presents me as this homely creature, which is all right, isn't it?&quot;

* '''For the last 12 years, I've felt really privileged to be living such a normal life. It's so a part of who I am.''' It's so important to me to do the washing, do the Hoovering. Friends of mine in the business don't know how dishwashers work. For me, that's frightening.''' I want to be in a position where I can function as a human being. Even more so now where you've got this sort of truly silly preoccupation with celebrities. Just because somebody's been in an ad on TV, so what? Who gives a toss?'''

== Song lyrics ==

=== ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tki.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Humpback Whale underwater shot.jpg|thumb|right|Moving [[stranger]], &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not [[afraid]] to [[feel]]?]]

'''[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This first track of Bush's first album is a tribute to Bush's mime and dance instructor [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]], and opens and closes with a whale song.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Moving stranger, &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not afraid to feel?'''

[[File:Saxophone alto.jpg|thumb|right|There's something very [[real]] in how I [[feel]], honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you [[know]] it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone…]]
* [[Touch]] me, hold me. &lt;br /&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br /&gt; Try to fall for me.

* '''How I'm moved. &lt;br /&gt; How you move me &lt;br /&gt; With your beauty's potency.'''

'''The Saxophone Song'''

* '''There's something very special indeed, &lt;br /&gt; In all the places where I've seen you shine, boy.''' &lt;br /&gt; There's something very real in how I feel, honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you know it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone...

* '''You'll never know that you had all of me. &lt;br /&gt; You'll never know the poetry you've stirred in me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Of all the stars I've seen that shine so brightly, &lt;br /&gt; I've never known or felt in myself so rightly, &lt;br /&gt; It's in me...

'''[[w:Strange Phenomena (song)|Strange Phenomena]]'''
[[File:Moon rise 2-20-08-3.jpg|thumb|right|Soon it will be the phase of the [[moon]] &lt;br /&gt; When [[people]] tune in.]]

* '''Soon it will be the phase of the moon &lt;br /&gt; When people tune in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Every girl knows about the punctual blues, &lt;br /&gt; But who's to know the power behind our moves?

* '''We raise our hats to the strange phenomena. &lt;br /&gt; Soul-birds of a feather flock together.'''

[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|right| There's a hole in the [[sky]] with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite…&quot;]]
'''Kite'''

* '''There's a hole in the sky with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite, &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight!&quot;'''

* A diamond kite &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the moon, over the moon!

[[File:The Flood, by Paul Merwart.jpg|thumb|right|Suddenly I find [[myself]] &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a [[man]] I've never [[known]] before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the [[sea]], &lt;br /&gt; [[All]] his [[love]], 'til [[Eternity]].]]
'''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]'''

* '''I hear him, before I go to sleep &lt;br /&gt; And focus on the day that's been.''' &lt;br /&gt; I realise he's there, &lt;br /&gt; When I turn the light off and turn over.

* '''Nobody knows about my man. &lt;br /&gt; They think he's lost on some horizon. &lt;br /&gt; And suddenly I find myself &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a man I've never known before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the sea, &lt;br /&gt; All his love, 'til Eternity.'''

* Ooh, he's here again, &lt;br /&gt; The man with the child in his eyes.

'''[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]'''
[[File:Johann Heinrich Füssli 015.jpg|thumb|right|Ooh, it gets [[dark]]! It gets [[lonely]], &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you…]]

* '''Out on the wiley, windy moors &lt;br /&gt; We'd roll and fall in green. &lt;br /&gt; You had a temper like my jealousy: &lt;br /&gt; Too hot, too greedy. &lt;br /&gt; How could you leave me, &lt;br /&gt; When I needed to possess you? &lt;br /&gt; I hated you. I loved you, too.'''

* Bad dreams in the night. &lt;br /&gt; They told me I was going to lose the fight, &lt;br /&gt; Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering &lt;br /&gt; Wuthering Heights.

* Heathcliff, it's me — Cathy.

* '''Ooh, it gets dark! It gets lonely, &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you. &lt;br /&gt; I pine a lot. I find the lot &lt;br /&gt; Falls through without you.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm coming back, love. &lt;br /&gt; Cruel Heathcliff, my one dream, &lt;br /&gt; My only master.

* Ooh! Let me have it. &lt;br /&gt; Let me grab your soul away.

'''James And The Cold Gun'''

* Ooh, James, are you selling your soul to a cold gun?

* You're a coward, James. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from humanity. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from reality. &lt;br /&gt; It won't be funny when they rat-a-tat-tat you down.

[[File:James Barry 001.jpg|thumb|right| Nobody else can [[share]] this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The [[glorious]] [[Unity|union]].]]
'''Feel It'''

* '''Nobody else can share this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The glorious union. &lt;br /&gt; Well it could be love, &lt;br /&gt; Or it could be just lust, &lt;br /&gt; But it will be fun. &lt;br /&gt; It will be wonderful.'''

* God, but you're beautiful, aren't you? &lt;br /&gt; Feel your warm hand walking around. &lt;br /&gt; I won't pull away. &lt;br /&gt; My passion always wins. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-moving in. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-tuning in. &lt;br /&gt; Synchronise rhythm now.

'''Oh To Be In Love'''
[[File:A Love for the Arts by Delacorr.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] the colours look brighter [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new…]]
* '''I could have been anyone. &lt;br /&gt; You could have been anyone's dream. &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to choose our moment?''' &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to make me feel that? &lt;br /&gt; Why did you make it so unreal?

* '''Oh! To be in love, &lt;br /&gt; And never get out again.'''

* All the colours look brighter now. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new. &lt;br /&gt; Slipping into tomorrow too quick, &lt;br /&gt; Yesterday always too good to forget. &lt;br /&gt; '''Stop the swing of the pendulum! Let us through!'''

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Bacchante (1894).jpg|thumb|right| My [[eyes]] were shining on the [[wine]], and your aura…]]
'''L'Amour Looks Something Like You'''

* You came out of the night, &lt;br /&gt; Wearing a mask in white colour. &lt;br /&gt; My eyes were shining &lt;br /&gt; On the wine, and your aura.

* You look like an [[Angels|angel]], &lt;br /&gt; Sleeping it off at a station. &lt;br /&gt; Were you only passing through?

* I'm dying for you just to touch me, &lt;br /&gt; And feel all the energy rushing right up-a-me. &lt;br /&gt; L'amour looks something like you.

[[File:Whirling Dervishes, Konya, Turkey, RMO.jpg|thumb|right|I [[love]] the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the [[beauty]] of rare [[innocence]].]]
[[File:John William Waterhouse - The Crystal Ball.JPG|thumb|right| You don't [[need]] no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We [[humans]] got it [[all]], we perform the [[miracles]].]]
'''[[w:Them Heavy People|Them Heavy People]]'''

* '''Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me...'''

* '''I must work on my mind. For now I realise: &lt;br /&gt; Everyone of us has a heaven inside.'''

* Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. &lt;br /&gt; Them heavy people help me.

* '''They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.''' &lt;br /&gt; They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]]. &lt;br /&gt; They build up my body, break me emotionally. &lt;br /&gt; It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!

* '''I love the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the beauty of rare innocence. &lt;br /&gt; You don't need no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.'''

'''Room For The Life'''

* Hey there, you lady in tears, &lt;br /&gt; Do you think that they care if they're real, woman? &lt;br /&gt; They just take it as part of the deal.

* '''Like it or not, we were built tough, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.'''

* No, we never die for long, &lt;br /&gt; While we've got that little life &lt;br /&gt; To live for, where it's hid inside.

* Like it or not, we keep bouncing back, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.

[[File:Sonnenfinsternis 1999-08-11 1.jpg|thumb|right|I will come [[home]] again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The [[sun]] and the [[moon]] meet on yon hill.]]
'''The Kick Inside'''

* '''I'm giving it all in a moment or two. &lt;br /&gt; I'm giving it all in a moment, for you.'''

* This kicking here inside &lt;br /&gt; Makes me leave you behind. &lt;br /&gt; No more under the quilt &lt;br /&gt; To keep you warm. &lt;br /&gt; Your sister I was born. &lt;br /&gt; You must lose me like an arrow, &lt;br /&gt; Shot into the killer storm.

* You and me on the bobbing knee. &lt;br /&gt; Didn't we cry at that old mythology he'd read! &lt;br /&gt; I will come home again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The sun and the moon meet on yon hill.

=== ''[[w:Lionheart (album)|Lionheart]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_lh.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Fractal nevit 75.png|thumb|right|I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood…]]
'''[[w:Symphony in Blue|Symphony in Blue]]'''

* '''I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood...'''

[[File:The Realm of Rane - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.]]
* When that [[feeling]] of meaninglessness sets in, &lt;br /&gt; Go blowing my [[mind]] on [[God]]: &lt;br /&gt; The [[light]] in the [[dark]], with the neon arms, &lt;br /&gt; The meek He seeks, the beast He calms, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[good]] [[soul]] department.

* '''My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.'''

* '''The more I think about [[sex]], the better it gets.''' &lt;br /&gt; Here we have a [[purpose]] in [[life]]: &lt;br /&gt; Good for the [[blood]] circulation, &lt;br /&gt; Good for releasing the tension, &lt;br /&gt; The root of our [[reincarnations]].

'''In Search Of Peter Pan'''
[[File:Peter Pan 1915 cover 2.JPG|thumb|right|When I am a [[man]] I will be an astronaut, and find [[Peter Pan]].]]

* I no longer see a [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; I've been told when I get older &lt;br /&gt; That I'll [[understand]] &lt;br /&gt; It all. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not sure if I want to.

* '''They took the [[game]] right out of it. &lt;br /&gt; When I am a man &lt;br /&gt; I will be an astronaut, &lt;br /&gt; And find [[Peter Pan]].'''

'''[[w:Wow (song)|Wow]]'''
[[File:Double slit x-ray simulation monochromatic blue-white.png|thumb|right|We [[know]] [[all]] our lines so well… &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many [[times]]…]]

* '''We're [[all]] [[alone]] on the stage [[tonight]].''' &lt;br /&gt; We've been told; we're not [[afraid]] of you. &lt;p&gt; We [[know]] all [[Speech|our lines]] so well, ah-ha, &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many times: &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] and [[Repetition|time again]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Poetry|Line and line again]].

* You say we're fantastic, &lt;br /&gt; But still we don't head the bill. &lt;br /&gt; Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! ''Unbelievable!''

* Ooh, yeah, you're amazing! &lt;br /&gt; We think you are really cool. &lt;br /&gt; We'd give you a part, my love, &lt;br /&gt; But you'd have to play the fool.

'''Don't Push Your Foot On The Heartbrake'''

* Emma's come down. &lt;br /&gt; She's stopped the light &lt;br /&gt; Shining out of her eyes.

* '''Oh, come on, you've got to use your flow. &lt;br /&gt; You know what it's like, and you know you want to go.''' &lt;br /&gt; Don't drive too slowly. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your blues where your shoes should be. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your foot on the heartbrake.'''

'''Oh England My Lionheart'''
[[File:Spitfire-under.jpg|thumb|right|Oh! [[England]], my [[Lion]][[heart]]! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one [[kiss]] in apple-blossom.]]

* Oh! [[England]], my Lionheart! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one kiss in apple-blossom. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one wish, and I'd be wassailing &lt;br /&gt; In the orchard, my English rose, &lt;br /&gt; Or with my shepherd, who'll bring me home.

'''Fullhouse'''
[[File:Kate Bush (15312486456).jpg|thumb|[[Remember]] [[yourself]]. &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight…]]
* '''I am my [[enemy]]''' &lt;br /&gt; Mowing me over, &lt;br /&gt; And towing the light away.

* '''[[Remember]] [[yourself]].''' &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight...
** &quot;Remember yourself&quot; was a motto of [[G. I. Gurdjieff]], whose ideas were an early influence on Bush.

* Surely by now I should know &lt;br /&gt; I can control &lt;br /&gt; My highs and my lows &lt;br /&gt; By questioning all that I do, &lt;br /&gt; Examining every move, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get back to the rudiments.

'''In The Warm Room'''

* In the warm room &lt;br /&gt; She'll touch you with your Mamma's hand. &lt;br /&gt; You'll long to kiss those red lips, &lt;br /&gt; But when you do &lt;br /&gt; It'll feel like kicking a habit.

'''Kashka From Baghdad'''

* Kashka from Baghdad &lt;br /&gt; Lives in [[sin]], they say, &lt;br /&gt; With another man, &lt;br /&gt; But no one knows who.

* At night &lt;br /&gt; They're seen &lt;br /&gt; [[Laughing]], &lt;br /&gt; Loving. &lt;br /&gt; They know &lt;br /&gt; The way &lt;br /&gt; To be &lt;br /&gt; [[Happy]].

'''Coffee Homeground'''

* Well, you won't get me with your Belladonna — in the coffee, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me with your aresenic — in the pot of tea, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me in a hole to rot — with your hemlock &lt;br /&gt; On the rocks.

* Maybe you're lonely, &lt;br /&gt; And only want a little company, &lt;br /&gt; But keep your recipes &lt;br /&gt; For the rats to eat, &lt;br /&gt; And may they rest in peace with coffee homeground.

'''[[w:Hammer Horror (song)|Hammer Horror]]'''
[[File:Victor Hugo-Hunchback.jpg|thumb|right| I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me…]]

* You stood in the belltower, &lt;br /&gt; But now you're gone. &lt;br /&gt; So who knows all the sights &lt;br /&gt; Of Notre Dame?

* Hammer Horror, Hammer Horror, &lt;br /&gt; Won't leave me alone. &lt;br /&gt; The first time in my life, &lt;br /&gt; I leave the lights on &lt;br /&gt; To ease my soul.

* I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me. &lt;br /&gt; So all I want to do is forget &lt;br /&gt; You, friend.

=== ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' (1980) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_nfe.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Old love letters.jpg|thumb|She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do…]] 

'''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'''

* '''She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do: &lt;br /&gt; A pseudonym to fool him. &lt;br /&gt; She couldn't have made a worse move.'''

[[File:Jean Béraud L'escrimeuse.jpg|thumb|right|Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his [[wife]] when she was [[beautiful]].]]
* She sent him scented letters, &lt;br /&gt; And he received them with a strange delight. &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife &lt;br /&gt; But how she was before the tears, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was before the years flew by, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was when she was beautiful.

* Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife when she was beautiful.

'''Delius (Song Of Summer)'''
:&lt;small&gt;A song about the composers [[w:Frederick Delius|Frederick Delius]] and [[w:Eric Fenby|Eric Fenby]].&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rmh1.jpg|thumb|To be sung of a [[summer]] [[night]] on the [[water]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water.]] 

* Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ''Song of Summer'' in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ...in...in...in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; ...in his hand.

* To be sung of a summer night on the water. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; Hmm. &lt;br /&gt; Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; In B, Fenby!&quot;


'''Blow Away (For Bill)'''
:&lt;small&gt;Dedicated to Bill Duffield, Bush's lighting engineer, who died in a stage accident. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.]] 

* One of the band told me last night &lt;br /&gt; That [[music]] is all that he's got in his [[life]]. &lt;br /&gt; So where does it go? &lt;br /&gt; Surely not with his [[soul]]. &lt;br /&gt; Will all of his licks and his R'n'B &lt;br /&gt; Blow away?

* Our engineer had a different idea &lt;br /&gt; From people who nearly died but survived, &lt;br /&gt; Feeling no fear of leaving their bodies here, &lt;br /&gt; And went to a room that was soon full of visitors.

* '''Put out the light, then, put out the light.''' &lt;br /&gt; Vibes in the [[sky]] invite you to dine. &lt;br /&gt; Dust to dust, &lt;br /&gt; Blow to blow.

'''All We Ever Look For'''
[[File:Nefertiti 30-01-2006.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] we ever [[look]] for — a little bit of you.]]

* '''The whims that we're weeping for &lt;br /&gt; Our parents would be beaten for.'''

* Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.

* '''[[All]] we ever look for — a [[god]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — ooh, a [[drug]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a great big hug.''' &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you, too. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for, &lt;br /&gt; But we never do score.

'''Egypt'''
[[File:SphinxGiza.jpg|thumb|right| Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound [[lonely]] [[tonight]].]]
[[File:King_Tut_Ankh_Amun_Golden_Mask.jpg|thumb|right|Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].]]
* '''Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound lonely tonight.''' &lt;br /&gt; The sands run red &lt;br /&gt; In lands of the Pharoahs. &lt;br /&gt; Their symmetry gets right inside me.

* Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].

* My Pussy Queen &lt;br /&gt; Knows all my [[secrets]]. &lt;br /&gt; I'll never fall in love again.

'''The Wedding List'''
[[File:Bride1929.jpg|thumb|right|We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!]]

* Somehow this was it, I knew. &lt;br /&gt; Maybe fate wants you dead, too: &lt;br /&gt; We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

* All I see is Rudi. &lt;br /&gt; I die with him, again and again. &lt;br /&gt; And I'll feel good in my revenge. &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna fill your head with lead &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

'''Violin'''
[[File:Maitelouis1.jpg|thumb|right|Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over…]]
* Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over, &lt;br /&gt; Over the quavers, drunk in the bars, &lt;br /&gt; Out of the realm of the orchestra...

* Get the bow going! &lt;br /&gt; Let it scream to me: &lt;br /&gt; Violin! Violin! Violin!

* Give me the [[w:Banshee|Banshees]] for B.V.s.
** B.V.s : backing vocals.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - A Young Girl Defending Herself Against Eros (1880).jpg|thumb|right| I cannot sit and let something happen I'll [[regret]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he [[scares]] me! There's a [[man]] behind those [[eyes]].]]
'''The Infant Kiss'''
:&lt;small&gt;Ths song was inspired by the film ''[[w:The Innocents (film)|The Innocents]]'' (1961), itself derived from ''[[w:The Turn of the Screw|The Turn of the Screw]]'' (1898) by [[Henry James|Henry James]]. Bush also wrote and sang a French version of this song: &quot;''Un Baiser d'enfant''&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I say good night-night &lt;br /&gt; I tuck him in tight. &lt;br /&gt; But things are not right.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''What is this?'' An infant kiss &lt;br /&gt; That sends my body tingling?

* His little hand is on my heart. &lt;br /&gt; He's got me where it ''hurts'' me. &lt;br /&gt; Knock, knock. Who's there in this baby? &lt;br /&gt; You know how to work me. &lt;br /&gt; '''All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.'''

* I cannot sit and let &lt;br /&gt; Something happen I'll regret. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he scares me! &lt;br /&gt; There's a man behind those eyes. &lt;br /&gt; I catch him when I'm bending.

* I want to smack but I hold back. &lt;br /&gt; I only want to [[touch]]. &lt;br /&gt; But I must stay and find a way &lt;br /&gt; To stop before it gets too much! &lt;br /&gt; All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.

[[File:High Wood cemetery, France.jpg|thumb|right| What a [[waste]] of [[Army]] [[dreamers]]…]]
'''[[w:Army Dreamers|Army Dreamers]]'''

[[File:Operation_Upshot-Knothole_-_Badger_001.jpg|thumb|right|We've lost our [[chance]]. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.]]
* '''What could he do? &lt;br /&gt; Should have been a father. &lt;br /&gt; But he never even made it to his twenties. &lt;br /&gt; What a waste — &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, what a waste of &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers.'''

* Oh, Jesus Christ, he wasn't to know, &lt;br /&gt; Like a chicken with a fox, &lt;br /&gt; He couldn't win the war with ego. &lt;br /&gt; Give the kid the pick of pips, &lt;br /&gt; And give him all your stripes and ribbons. &lt;br /&gt; Now he's sitting in his hole, &lt;br /&gt; He might as well have buttons and bows.

[[File:Ivy King - distance.jpg|thumb|right| I [[love]] my Beloved… [[All]] and everywhere, Only the [[fools]] blew it…]]
'''[[w:Breathing (song)|Breathing]]'''

* '''Outside &lt;br /&gt; Gets inside &lt;br /&gt; Through her skin.'''

* '''Breathing my mother in, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing my beloved in''', &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing her nicotine, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing the fall-out in, &lt;br /&gt; Out in, out in, out in, out in.

* '''We've lost our chance. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.'''

* '''I love my &lt;br /&gt; Beloved, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; All and everywhere, &lt;br /&gt; Only the fools blew it. &lt;br /&gt; You and me &lt;br /&gt; Knew life itself is &lt;br /&gt; Breathing...'''

[[File:Holygrail.jpg|thumb|right| I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.]]

=== [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] (1982) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_td.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Sat in Your Lap|Sat in Your Lap]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song incorporates a bit of Bush's eccentric wordplay: [[w:Sat (Sanskrit)|Sat]] is a [[w:Hinduism|Hindu]] and [[w:Sikhism|Sikh]] term for [[w:Truth|Truth]], or [[w:Knowledge|Knowledge]] related to the concept of [[w:Dharma#Developing_conceptions|Dharma]].&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Some say that [[knowledge]] is something that you never have. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that knowledge is something sat in your lap. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that [[heaven]] is [[hell]]. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that hell is heaven.'''

* I must admit, just when I think I'm king,
:: I just begin.

* '''I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.'''

'''[[w:There Goes a Tenner|There Goes a Tenner]]'''
[[File:Combinatoria.jpg|thumb|right|The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]…]]

* '''The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]. &lt;br /&gt; The [[signal]] has been [[given]].'''

* My excitement &lt;br /&gt; Turns into fright. &lt;br /&gt; All my words fade. &lt;br /&gt; What am I gonna say? &lt;br /&gt; Mustn't give the game away.

[[File:Mills N° 23 MkIII-2.jpg|thumb|right|Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I [[love]] [[life]]!]]
'''Pull Out The Pin'''

* Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I love life!

* He's big and pink, and not like me. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no light. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no [[reason]] for the [[fighting]]...

[[File:Divina - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].]]
'''[[w:Suspended in Gaffa (song)|Suspended in Gaffa]]'''

* '''Out in the [[garden]] &lt;br /&gt; There's half of a heaven''', &lt;br /&gt; And we're only bluffing. &lt;br /&gt; We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; '''Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].'''

* I don't know why I'm crying. &lt;br /&gt; Am I suspended in Gaffa? &lt;br /&gt; '''Not until I'm ready for you, &lt;br /&gt; Not until I'm ready for you &lt;br /&gt; Can I have it all.'''

* '''I won't open boxes &lt;br /&gt; That I am told not to. &lt;br /&gt; I'm not a Pandora. &lt;br /&gt; I'm much more like &lt;br /&gt; That girl in the mirror.''' &lt;br /&gt; Between you and me &lt;br /&gt; She don't stand a chance of getting anywhere at all.

* Mother, where are the [[angels]]? I'm scared of the changes.
** Whispered in a childlike voice.

'''Leave It Open'''

* '''My [[door]] was never locked, &lt;br /&gt; Until one day a trigger come cocking. &lt;br /&gt; (But now I've started learning how,) &lt;br /&gt; I keep it shut.'''

* Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; Harm in us, but power to arm. &lt;br /&gt; Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; ''Leave it open!''

* '''''We let the weirdness in.'''''
[[File:Australie 2 389.jpg|thumb|right|Coming in with the golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; In the [[morning]]. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.]]
[[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|thumb|See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].]] 
'''[[w:The Dreaming (song)|The Dreaming]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song deals with the Australian traditions of [[w:Dreamtime|&quot;The Dreaming&quot;]] &lt;/small&gt;

* '''''See the [[light]] ram through the gaps in the land.'' &lt;br /&gt; Many an Aborigine's mistaken for a [[tree]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Til you near him on the motorway &lt;br /&gt; And the tree begin to breathe.'''

* ''''Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; In the morning. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.'''

* '''The [[civilised]] keep alive &lt;br /&gt; The territorial [[war]]...''' &lt;br /&gt; Erase the race that claim the place &lt;br /&gt; And say we dig for ore, &lt;br /&gt; Or dangle [[devils]] in a bottle &lt;br /&gt; And push them from the ''pull of the Bush.''

* '''See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].'''

'''[[w:Night of the Swallow (song)|Night Of The Swallow]]'''
[[File:Hirundo rustica young male spring NRM.jpg|thumb|right|In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the [[guilty]] — to set them [[free]].]]

* If you go, I'll let the law know, &lt;br /&gt; And they'll head you off when you touch the ground. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, please, don't go through with this. &lt;br /&gt; I don't like the sound of it.

* '''In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the guilty — to set them free. &lt;br /&gt; Wings fill the window, &lt;br /&gt; And they beat and bleed.''' &lt;br /&gt; They hold the sky on the other side &lt;br /&gt; Of borderlines.

* ''Give me a break! &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, let me try! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to show &lt;br /&gt; For my miserable life! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to take! &lt;br /&gt; Would you break even my wings, &lt;br /&gt; Just like a swallow?''

[[File:Tribute in Light Memorial September 9 2004.jpg|thumb|right| Only tragedy allows the release of [[love]] and [[grief]] never normally seen…]]
'''All The Love'''

* '''We needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love us too. &lt;br /&gt; We wait for your move.'''

* '''Only tragedy allows the release &lt;br /&gt; Of love and grief never normally seen.''' &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weep, &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weak, &lt;br /&gt; But I know I have shown &lt;br /&gt; That I stand at the gates alone.

* '''I needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love me too. &lt;br /&gt; I wait for your move.'''

* '''All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love we should have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love you could have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love...'''

[[File:Weiss with mother and wife.jpg|thumb|right|With a [[kiss]] &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the [[key]] &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.]]
'''Houdini'''

* The tambourine jingle-jangles. &lt;br /&gt; The medium roams and rambles. &lt;br /&gt; Not taken in, &lt;br /&gt; I break the circle. &lt;br /&gt; I want this man &lt;br /&gt; To go away now.

* '''With a kiss &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the key &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.''' &lt;br /&gt; With your spit &lt;br /&gt; Still on my lip, &lt;br /&gt; You hit the water.

* '''Rosabel believe, &lt;br /&gt; Not even eternity &lt;br /&gt; Can hold Houdini! &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Rosabel, believe!&quot; '''

'''Get Out Of My House'''

* I will not let you in. &lt;br /&gt; I face towards the wind. &lt;br /&gt; I change into the Mule.

[[File:Lightning02.jpg|thumb|right| There is [[thunder]] in our [[hearts]]…]]

=== ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' (1985) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_hol.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)]]'''

* '''It doesn't hurt me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to feel how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me.

* '''And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with God, &lt;br /&gt; And I'd get him to swap our places, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that road, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that building.'''

* '''You don't want to hurt me, &lt;br /&gt; But see how deep the bullet lies. &lt;br /&gt; Unaware I'm tearing you asunder. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.'''

* '''Is there so much hate for the ones we love? &lt;br /&gt; Tell me, we both matter, don't we?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me won't be unhappy.

* '''C'mon, baby, c'mon darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let me steal this [[moment]] from you [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; C'mon, [[Angels|angel]], c'mon, c'mon, darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let's exchange the [[experience]], oh...'''

* If I only could &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill &lt;br /&gt; With no problems...

[[File:Muir Wood10.JPG|thumb|right| ''It's in the [[trees]]! It's coming!'']]
'''[[w:Hounds of Love (song)|Hounds Of Love]]'''

* ''It's in the trees! &lt;br /&gt; It's coming!''

* I found a [[fox]] &lt;br /&gt; Caught by [[dogs]]. &lt;br /&gt; He let me take him in my [[hands]]. &lt;br /&gt; His little [[heart]], &lt;br /&gt; It beats so fast, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm ashamed of running away &lt;br /&gt; From nothing real — &lt;br /&gt; I just can't deal with this, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm still afraid to be there, &lt;br /&gt; Among your hounds of [[love]]...

* '''Do you know what I really need? &lt;br /&gt; I need love love love love love, yeah!'''

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right| They look down at the ground, missing. But I never go in [[now]]. I'm looking at the Big [[Sky]]…]]
'''[[w:The Big Sky (song)|The Big Sky]] '''

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|You never really [[understood]] me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.]]
* '''They look down &lt;br /&gt; At the ground, &lt;br /&gt; Missing. &lt;br /&gt; But I never go in [[now]].''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm looking at the Big Sky.

* '''You never really understood me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.'''

* This [[cloud]], this cloud — &lt;br /&gt; Says &quot;Noah, &lt;br /&gt; C'mon and build me an Ark.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And if you're coming, jump, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause &lt;br /&gt; We're leaving with the Big Sky.

'''Mother Stands For Comfort'''

* She knows that I've been doing something wrong, &lt;br /&gt; But she won't say anything.

* Am I the cat that takes the bird? &lt;br /&gt; To her the hunted, not the hunter.

* Mother stands for comfort. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will hide the murderer. &lt;br /&gt; Mother hides the madman. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will stay mum.

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen…]]
'''[[w:Cloudbusting|Cloudbusting]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song is sung from the perspective of [[Wilhelm Reich]]'s son Peter, whose memoir ''A Book of Dreams'' inspired it.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I still dream of Orgonon.''' &lt;br /&gt; I wake up crying. &lt;br /&gt; You're making rain, &lt;br /&gt; And you're just in reach, &lt;br /&gt; When you and sleep escape me.

* '''I just know that something good is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen.'''

* '''On top of the world, &lt;br /&gt; Looking over the edge, &lt;br /&gt; You could see them coming.''' &lt;br /&gt; You looked too small &lt;br /&gt; In their big, black car, &lt;br /&gt; To be a threat to the men in power.'''

* I hid my yo-yo &lt;br /&gt; In the garden. &lt;br /&gt; I can't hide you &lt;br /&gt; From the government. &lt;br /&gt; Oh, God, Daddy — &lt;br /&gt; I won't forget...

[[File:Aivazovsky,_Ivan_-_The_Ninth_Wave.jpg|thumb|right|Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.]] 
[[File:PortoCovoJan07-4.jpg|thumb|right|If they find me racing [[wikt:white horse|white horses]], they'll not take me for a buoy…]]
==== The Ninth Wave ====

'''And Dream Of Sheep'''

* '''Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.''' &lt;br /&gt; My [[face]] is all lit up, &lt;br /&gt; My face is all lit up.

* '''If they find me racing [[wikt:white horses|white horses]], &lt;br /&gt; They'll not take me for a buoy.''' &lt;br /&gt; Let me be weak, &lt;br /&gt; Let me [[sleep]] &lt;br /&gt; And [[dream]] of [[sheep]].

* Ooh, their breath is warm &lt;br /&gt; And they smell like sleep, &lt;br /&gt; And they say they take me home. &lt;br /&gt; Like poppies heavy with seed &lt;br /&gt; They take me deeper and deeper.

'''Under Ice'''

* '''There's something moving &lt;br /&gt; Under, under the ice, &lt;br /&gt; Moving under ice, &lt;br /&gt; Through water, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get out of the cold water.''' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Something, someone — help them. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot;

[[File:Wickiana4.jpg|thumb|right|[[Look]] who's here to see you!]]
[[File:Joan of arc interrogation.jpg|thumb|right|''I question your [[innocence]]…'']]
'''Waking The Witch'''

* '''Wake up!'''...''You must wake up!''

* &quot;Don't you know you've kept him waiting?&quot; &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Look who's here to see you!&quot;

* ''I question your [[innocence]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird! &lt;br /&gt; ''She's a [[witch]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; There's a stone around my leg.

* ''What say you, good people?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird...

* &quot;Get out of the waves! Get out of the water!&quot;

'''Watching You Without Me'''

* '''You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying to you.'''

* I should have been home &lt;br /&gt; Hours ago, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here...

[[File:G W Russell Bathers.jpg|thumb|Can't you [[see]] where [[memories]] are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the [[water]] like a [[laughing]] girl. &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] in her [[eyes]] is spawning [[past]] [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; One with the [[ocean]] and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding [[all]] the [[love]] that waits for you here. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
'''Jig Of Life'''
:&lt;small&gt;Co-written with her brother [[John Carder Bush]] &lt;/small&gt; 
[[File:Boelge stor.jpg|thumb|right|Catch us [[now]] for I am your [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; A [[kiss]] on the [[wind]] and we'll make the land. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
[[File:Waves forming at beach.jpg|thumb|right|For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will [[dance]] with me in the sunlit pools. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]]

* '''I'll be sitting in your [[mirror]]. &lt;br /&gt; [[Now]] is the place where the crossroads meet. &lt;br /&gt; Will you look into the [[future]]?'''

* Never, never say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To my part of your life.

* '''&quot;This [[moment]] in time,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said.) &lt;br /&gt; It doesn't belong to you,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said,) &lt;br /&gt; It belongs to me''', &lt;br /&gt; And your little boy and your little girl, &lt;br /&gt; And the one hand clapping: &lt;br /&gt; Where on your palm is my little line, &lt;br /&gt; When you're written in mine &lt;br /&gt; As an old memory?

* Can't you see where memories are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the water like a laughing girl. &lt;br /&gt; Time in her eyes is spawning past life, &lt;br /&gt; One with the ocean and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding all the love that waits for you here. &lt;br /&gt; Catch us [[now]] for I am your future. &lt;br /&gt; A kiss on the wind and we'll make the land. &lt;br /&gt; Come over here to where When lingers, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting in this empty world, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting for Then, when the lifespray cools. &lt;br /&gt; '''For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will dance with me in the sunlit pools. &lt;br /&gt; We are of the going water and the gone. &lt;br /&gt; We are of water in the holy land of water &lt;br /&gt; And all that's to come runs in &lt;br /&gt; With the thrust on the strand.'''
** This is the portion of &quot;Jig of Life&quot; which was actually written as well as spoken by Kate's brother [[John Carder Bush]].

[[File:Shelfcloud.jpg|thumb|right|I was there at the [[birth]], Out of the cloudburst, The head of the [[tempest]]…]]
'''Hello Earth'''

* Watching [[storms]] &lt;br /&gt; Start to form &lt;br /&gt; Over [[America]]. &lt;br /&gt; Can't do anything. &lt;br /&gt; Just watch them swing &lt;br /&gt; With the [[wind]] &lt;br /&gt; Out to [[sea]].

* '''I was there at the [[birth]], &lt;br /&gt; Out of the cloudburst, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[tempest]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Murderer! &lt;br /&gt; Murder of calm...

[[File:Iridescent fog.jpg|thumb|right|The [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Begin]] to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to [[speak]].]]
[[File:Fog over Baffin Bay IMG 9533.jpg|thumb|right| D'you [[know]] what? &lt;br /&gt; I [[love]] you better [[now]].]]
'''The Morning Fog'''

* '''The light &lt;br /&gt; Begin to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to speak. &lt;br /&gt; D'you know what? &lt;br /&gt; I love you better now.'''

* '''I'll kiss the ground.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my mother, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my father, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my loved one, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my brothers &lt;br /&gt; How much I love them.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Dawn (1881).jpg|thumb|right| Stepping out… To where the [[water]] and the [[earth]] caress…]]

=== ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' (1989) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tsw.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''The Sensual World'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJc64xncBt4 Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''He said I was a flower of the mountain, yes, &lt;br /&gt; But now I've powers o'er a woman's body, yes. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out of the page into the sensual world. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out... &lt;br /&gt; To where the water and the earth caress &lt;br /&gt; And the down on a peach says mmh, Yes...'''
** &quot;The Sensual World&quot;; The lyrics of this song are derived from the last lines of ''[[Ulysses (novel)|Ulysses]]'' by [[James Joyce]]. Kate had initially wanted to set much of Molly Bloom's Soliloquy to music, just as Joyce had written it, but when the Joyce estate refused, she altered it enough as to not infringe on copyright. As she explained it in an interview: &quot;The song was saying''' &quot;Yes, Yes&quot; '''and when I asked for permission they said''' &quot;No! No!&quot;.'''

[[File:Sunset Solar Halo at Keys View of Joshua Tree National Park.jpg|thumb|right|Do I look for those millionaires like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would when I could wear the sunset?]]
* Do I look for those millionaires &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would &lt;br /&gt; When I could wear the sunset?

* '''You don't need [[words]] — just one [[kiss]], then another.'''

* '''Stepping out, off the page, into the sensual world.''' &lt;br /&gt; And then our arrows of [[desire]] rewrite the [[speech]]...

* I said, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; But not yet, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; Mmh... Yes.

'''[[w:Love and Anger|Love and Anger]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ipM__nt8fM Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''It lay buried here. It lay deep inside me. &lt;br /&gt; It's so deep I don't think that I can [[speak]] about it. &lt;br /&gt; It could take me [[all]] of my [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; But it would only take a [[moment]] to &lt;br /&gt; Tell you what I'm [[feeling]], &lt;br /&gt; But I don't [[know]] if I'm ready yet. '''

* '''Take away the [[love]] and the [[anger]], &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of [[hope]] holding us together. &lt;br /&gt; Looking for a [[moment]] that'll never happen, &lt;br /&gt; [[Living]] in the gap between [[past]] and [[future]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Take away the [[stone]] and the timber, &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of rope won't hold it together.

* If you can't tell your sister, &lt;br /&gt; If you can't tell a priest, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause it's so deep you don't think that you can speak about it &lt;br /&gt; To anyone, &lt;br /&gt; Can you tell it to your [[heart]]? &lt;br /&gt; Can you find it in your heart &lt;br /&gt; To let go of these feelings...

* We could be like two strings beating, &lt;br /&gt; Speaking in [[sympathy]]...

* We're building a house of the future together. &lt;br /&gt; (What would we do without you?)

* You might not, not think so now, &lt;br /&gt; But just you wait and see — someone will come to [[help]] you.

[[File:Fog-towerbridge.700px.jpg|thumb|right| I can't let you go. If I let you go, you slip into the fog…]]
'''The Fog'''

* '''Just like a photograph, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up. &lt;br /&gt; Just like a station on the radio, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up.'''

* Just like a feeling that you're sending out, &lt;br /&gt; I pick it up. &lt;br /&gt; But I can't let you go. &lt;br /&gt; '''If I let you go, &lt;br /&gt; You slip into the fog...'''

* '''This love was big enough for the both of us. &lt;br /&gt; This love of yours was big enough to be frightened of. &lt;br /&gt; It's deep and dark, like the water was, &lt;br /&gt; The day I learned to swim.'''

* '''Is this love big enough to watch over me? &lt;br /&gt; Big enough to let go of me &lt;br /&gt; Without hurting me, &lt;br /&gt; Like the day I learned to swim?'''

'''Reaching Out'''

:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Be_ITyTMzc YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''See how the [[child]] reaches out [[instinctively]] &lt;br /&gt; To [[feel]] how [[fire]] will feel. &lt;br /&gt; See how the man reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For what he cannot have.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''The pull and the push of it [[all]].''

* Reaching out for that hand to hold. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star that explodes. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for Mama.

* See how the [[flower]] leans instinctively &lt;br /&gt; Toward the [[light]]. &lt;br /&gt; See how the [[heart]] reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For no [[reason]] but to [[touch]]...

'''Heads We're Dancing'''
[[File:Jane Kelly. Psychosis 1.jpg|thumb|You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started…]]
[[File:Hitler, Speer y Breker en París, 23 de junio de 1940.jpg|thumb|Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] ]]

* You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started, &lt;br /&gt; When you walked up to me and you said, &lt;br /&gt;&quot;Hey, heads we dance.&quot;
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9NaEOoOLU4 Audio at YouTube]

* They say that the [[Devil]] is a charming man. &lt;br /&gt; And just like you I bet he can [[dance]].

* Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; A picture of you, a picture of you in uniform &lt;br /&gt; Standing with your head held high &lt;br /&gt; Hot down to the floor but it couldn't be you &lt;br /&gt; It couldn't be you, it's a picture of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]

[[File:Imac G5 20inch.jpg|thumb|right|I [[need]] deeper [[understanding]]. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding…]]
'''Deeper Understanding'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wDDxM1F4xY YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''As the people here grow colder I turn to my [[computer]] &lt;br /&gt; And spend my evenings with it &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[friend]]. '''

* ''Hello, I know that you've been feeling tired. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Hello, I know that you're unhappy. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding….''

* I turn to my computer like a friend. &lt;br /&gt; '''I need deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding...'''

'''Between A Man And A Woman'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orBTGQep1Ts YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Picture couple pregnant woman.jpg|thumb|right|He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the [[truth]] lies somewhere in the middle.]]

* He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

* '''Where [[angels]] fear to tread, &lt;br /&gt; You go rushing in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Stay out of this &lt;br /&gt; You must not interfere &lt;br /&gt; Don't you see this is &lt;br /&gt; Between a man and a woman?

'''Never Be Mine'''

* I look at you and see &lt;br /&gt; my life that might have been &lt;br /&gt; your face just ghostly in the smoke. &lt;br /&gt; They're setting fire to the cornfields &lt;br /&gt; as you're taking me home. &lt;br /&gt; The smell of burning fields &lt;br /&gt; will now mean you and here.

* '''This is where I want to be. &lt;br /&gt; This is what I need. &lt;br /&gt; This is where I want to be, &lt;br /&gt; But I know that this will never be mine.'''

* I want you as the [[dream]], &lt;br /&gt; Not the [[reality]]. &lt;br /&gt; That clumsy good-bye [[kiss]] could fool me. &lt;br /&gt; But looking back over my shoulder &lt;br /&gt; at you [[happy]] without me.

* The thrill and the hurting &lt;br /&gt; Will never be mine.

'''Rocket's Tail'''
[[File:010712 STS104 Atlantis launch glow.jpg|thumb|right|I saw only a stick on [[fire]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Alone]] on its [[journey]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Home]] to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.]]

* I thought you were crazy, wishing such a thing. &lt;br /&gt; I saw only a stick on fire, &lt;br /&gt; Alone on its journey &lt;br /&gt; Home to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.

* I am a rocket &lt;br /&gt; On fire. &lt;br /&gt; Look at me go, with my tail on fire...

'''This Woman's Work'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TupvVpxY_U Video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I know you have a little [[life]] in you yet. &lt;br /&gt; I know you have a lot of [[strength]] left.'''

* '''I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. &lt;br /&gt; I should be [[hoping]], but I can't stop thinking &lt;br /&gt; Of all the things I should've said, &lt;br /&gt; That I never said. &lt;br /&gt; All the things we should've done, &lt;br /&gt; That we never did. &lt;br /&gt; All the things I should've [[given]], &lt;br /&gt; But I didn't.'''

'''Walk Straight Down The Middle'''

* We're calling out for Middle Street.

* '''We hang on to every line, &lt;br /&gt; And walk straight down the middle of it.'''

* He thought he was gonna [[die]], &lt;br /&gt; But he didn't. &lt;br /&gt; She thought she just couldn't cope, &lt;br /&gt; But she did. &lt;br /&gt; '''We thought it would be so hard, &lt;br /&gt; But it wasn't... &lt;br /&gt; It wasn't easy, though!'''

=== ''[[w:The Red Shoes (album)|The Red Shoes]]'' (1993) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_trs.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Rubberband Girl|Rubberband Girl]]'''

* '''See those [[trees]] &lt;br /&gt; Bend in the wind &lt;br /&gt; I feel they've got a lot more sense than me &lt;br /&gt; You see I try to resist...'''

* A rubberband bouncing back to life &lt;br /&gt; A rubberband bend the beat &lt;br /&gt; If I could learn to give like a rubberband &lt;br /&gt; I'd be back on my feet...


'''[[w:And So Is Love|And So Is Love]]''' - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLHLPbEQ-hE Performance on ''Top of the Pops'' (1994)] 

* '''We let it in &lt;br /&gt; We give it out &lt;br /&gt; And in the end &lt;br /&gt; What's it all about? &lt;br /&gt; It must be love.'''

* '''We used to say &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ah Hell, we're young&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But now we see that life is sad &lt;br /&gt; ''And so is love.'' '''

* What really matters? &lt;br /&gt; It's all we've got &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that enough?

* '''All for love &lt;br /&gt; Just for the sake of love.'''

[[File:Pomegranate02 edit.jpg|thumb|right| What am I singing? A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].]]
'''[[w:Eat the Music|Eat the Music]]'''

* '''Split me open &lt;br /&gt; With devotion &lt;br /&gt; You put your hands in &lt;br /&gt; And rip my heart out &lt;br /&gt; ''Eat the music.'' '''

* [[All]] is revealed &lt;br /&gt; Not only women bleed.

* '''What am I singing? &lt;br /&gt; A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].'''

'''[[w:Moments of Pleasure|Moments of Pleasure]]'''

* I think about us diving &lt;br /&gt; Diving off a rock, into another moment...

*&lt;p&gt;'''Just being alive &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt &lt;br /&gt; These moments given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]].'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we love &lt;br /&gt; To those who will survive...'''&lt;/p&gt;

* And I can hear my mother saying &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Every old sock meets an old shoe&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that a great saying?

* Here come the Hills of Time

'''Song of Solomon'''

* '''The [[Song]] of [[Solomon]] &lt;br /&gt; The song of everyone &lt;br /&gt; Who walks the path &lt;br /&gt; Of the solitary [[heart]].'''

* '''The [[soul]] cries out &lt;br /&gt; Hear a [[woman]] singing &lt;br /&gt; Don't want your bullshit, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Just want your [[sexuality]]. &lt;br /&gt; Don't want excuses, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Write me your [[poetry]] in motion &lt;br /&gt; Write it just for me, yeah &lt;br /&gt; And sign it with a [[kiss]].

* I'll do it for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll be the [[w:Rose of Sharon|Rose of Sharon]] for you &lt;br /&gt; Ooh I'll come in a [[hurricane]] for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll do it for you...

[[File:The Golden Bough - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]]…]]
[[File:Franz von Stuck 003.jpg|thumb|right| Gabriel before me, Raphael behind me, [[Michael (archangel)|Michael]] to my right, Uriel on my left side… In the [[circle]] of [[fire]]…]]
'''Lily'''

* ''Oh thou, who givest sustenance to the [[universe]] &lt;br /&gt; From whom all things proceed &lt;br /&gt; To whom all things return &lt;br /&gt; Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]] &lt;br /&gt; As we journey to thy sacred feet''
** Recited by &quot;Lily&quot;

* I said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Lily, Oh Lily I'm so afraid &lt;br /&gt; I fear I am walking in the Veil of Darkness&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And she said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Child, take what I say &lt;br /&gt; With a pinch of salt &lt;br /&gt; And protect yourself with fire&quot;

* Gabriel before me &lt;br /&gt; Raphael behind me &lt;br /&gt; [[Michael (archangel)]] to my right &lt;br /&gt; Uriel on my left side &lt;br /&gt; In the [[circle]] of [[fire]].

'''[[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]]'''
[[File:Solistin Jovana Ivanovic.jpg|thumb|right|She said &quot;just take off my red shoes &lt;br /&gt; Put them on and your [[dream]]'ll come [[true]]…]]

* '''With no [[words]], with no [[song]] &lt;br /&gt; You can [[dance]] the [[dream]] with your body on &lt;br /&gt; And this curve, is your [[smile]] &lt;br /&gt; And this cross, is your [[heart]] &lt;br /&gt; And this line, is your path &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always thought it would be &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be no illusion &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always dreamt about it &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be really happening to ya...'''

* Feel your hair come tumbling down &lt;br /&gt; Feel your feet start kissing the ground &lt;br /&gt; Feel your arms are opening out &lt;br /&gt; And see your eyes are lifted to [[God]] &lt;br /&gt; '''With no words, with no song &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna dance the dream &lt;br /&gt; And make the dream come true...'''

[[File:St Michael Berlin Engel Statue Kiss.JPG|thumb|right| I don't [[know]] if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there…]]
'''Top of the City'''

* '''I don't know if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there.''' &lt;br /&gt; These streets have never been paved with gold.

* It's no good for you baby &lt;br /&gt; It's no good for you now &lt;br /&gt; Keep looking up for the ladder.

* I don't mind if it's dangerous &lt;br /&gt; I don't mind if it's raining &lt;br /&gt; Take me up to the top of the city &lt;br /&gt; And put me up on the [[Angels|angel]]'s shoulders.

'''Constellation of the Heart'''
[[File:Herz aus Feuer.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]] &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the [[heart]].]]

* We take all the telescopes &lt;br /&gt; And we turn them inside out &lt;br /&gt; And we point them away from the big [[sky]]. &lt;br /&gt; Put your eye right up to the glass. &lt;br /&gt; Here we'll find the constellation of the [[heart]]. &lt;br /&gt; '''Steer your [[life]] by these [[stars]] &lt;br /&gt; On the unconditional [[chance]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]]. &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the heart.'''

* Well we think you'd better wake up capt'n &lt;br /&gt; There's something happen'n up ahead &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it before.

* Who said anything about it hurting? &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be beautiful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be wonderful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be paradise. 

* Ooh find me the man with the ladder &lt;br /&gt; And he might lift me up to the stars. 

* ''Without the pain there'd be no learning &lt;br /&gt; Without the hurting we'd never change.''

'''Big Stripey Lie'''
[[File:Louvre renommée mr1824.jpg|thumb|right|Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.]]

* '''All young gentle dreams drowning &lt;br /&gt; In life's grief &lt;br /&gt; Can you hang on to me?'''

* '''Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to. &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.'''

* Hey all you little waves run away. &lt;br /&gt; Mmm... run away.

'''Why Should I Love You?'''
[[File:Vittore Carpaccio 075.jpg|thumb|right|Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.]]

* This chapter says &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Put it out of your mind&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, give it time....

* The fine purple &lt;br /&gt; The purest gold &lt;br /&gt; The red of the Sacred Heart &lt;br /&gt; The grey of a ghost &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;L&quot; of the lips are open &lt;br /&gt; To the &quot;O&quot; of the Host &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;V&quot; of the velvet &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;E&quot; of my eye &lt;br /&gt; '''The eye in wonder &lt;br /&gt; The eye that sees &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;I&quot; that loves you.'''

* Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.

'''You're the One'''

* '''Let's [[change]] things. &lt;br /&gt; Let's danger it up. &lt;br /&gt; We're [[crazy]] enough. &lt;br /&gt; I just can't take it.

* You're the only one I want...

* I know where I'm going. &lt;br /&gt; But I don't want to leave. &lt;br /&gt; I just have one problem &lt;br /&gt; We're best friends, yeah? &lt;br /&gt; We tied ourselves in knots &lt;br /&gt; Doing cartwheels 'cross the floor &lt;br /&gt; Just forget it alright.

=== ''[[w:Aerial (album)|Aerial]]'' (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_aerial.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

==== A Sea of Honey (Disc 1) ====
[[File:Elvis Presley 1970.jpg|thumb|right|[[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a [[happy]] man?]]
'''[[w:King of the Mountain (song)|King of the Mountain]]'''

* '''Could you see the aisles of women? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see them screaming and weeping? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the [[storm]] rising? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the guy who was driving? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb higher and higher? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb right over the top?'''

* [[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a happy man? &lt;br /&gt; In the snow with ''[[w:Citizen_Kane#.22Rosebud.22|Rosebud|]]'' &lt;br /&gt; And King of the Mountain.

* Another Hollywood waitress &lt;br /&gt; Is telling us she's having your baby &lt;br /&gt; And there's a rumour that you're on ice &lt;br /&gt; And you will rise again someday. '''

[[File:PP 1280x1024.jpg|thumb|right|Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive [[nature]] and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For [[numbers]]…]]
'''π'''

* '''Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive nature and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For numbers &lt;br /&gt; And a complete infatuation with the calculation &lt;br /&gt; Of π.'''

[[File:Pi-unrolled slow.gif|thumb|right|He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]]…]]
* He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]] &lt;br /&gt; 3.14159 26535897932 3846 264 338 3279...

'''Bertie'''

* '''Here comes the sunshine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes that son of mine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes the everything &lt;br /&gt; Here's a song and a song for him.

* You bring me so much joy &lt;br /&gt; And then you bring me &lt;br /&gt; More joy...

'''Mrs. Bartolozzi'''

* Oh and the waves are going out &lt;br /&gt; Oh and the waves are coming in &lt;br /&gt; Out of the corner of my eye &lt;br /&gt; I think I see you standing outside &lt;br /&gt; But it's just your shirt &lt;br /&gt; Hanging on the washing line &lt;br /&gt; Waving it's arm as the wind blows by &lt;br /&gt; And it looks so alive &lt;br /&gt; Nice and white &lt;br /&gt; Just like it's climbed right out &lt;br /&gt; of my washing machine...

'''How To Be Invisible'''

* '''I found a book on how to be invisible &lt;br /&gt; You take a pinch of keyhole, &lt;br /&gt; And fold yourself up, &lt;br /&gt; You cut along the dotted lines. &lt;br /&gt; You think inside out. &lt;br /&gt; You're invisible.'''

[[File:Joan-of-Arc-Paris.jpg|thumb|right| [[Joan of Arc|Joanni]] wears a golden cross and she looks so [[beautiful]] in her armour…]]
'''[[Joan of Arc|Joanni]]'''

* '''All the banners stop waving &lt;br /&gt; And the flags stop flying &lt;br /&gt; And the silence comes over &lt;br /&gt; Thousands of soldiers...'''

* '''Who is that girl? Do I know her face?'''

* Joanni, Joanni wears a golden cross &lt;br /&gt; And she looks so beautiful in her armour &lt;br /&gt; Joanni, Joanni blows a kiss to God &lt;br /&gt; And she never wears a ring on her finger...

'''A Coral Room'''

* There's a city, draped in net &lt;br /&gt; Fisherman net &lt;br /&gt; And in the half light, in the half light &lt;br /&gt; It looks like every tower &lt;br /&gt; Is covered in webs &lt;br /&gt; Moving and glistening and rocking &lt;br /&gt; It's babies in rhythm &lt;br /&gt; As the spider of time is climbing &lt;br /&gt; Over the ruins.

* Put your hand over the side of the boat &lt;br /&gt; What do you feel?

* My mother and her little brown jug &lt;br /&gt; It held her milk &lt;br /&gt; And now it holds our memories...

==== A Sky of Honey (Disc 2) ====
[[File:Sturnella neglecta2.jpg|thumb|right|We're gonna be [[laughing]] about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be [[dancing]] around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so [[good]] [[now]].]]

'''Prelude'''

* Mummy... &lt;br /&gt; Daddy... &lt;br /&gt; The day is full of birds &lt;br /&gt; Sounds like they're saying words...
** Spoken by Bush's son, Berty.

'''Prologue'''

* We're gonna be laughing about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be dancing around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good now.

* It's gonna be so good now &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good &lt;br /&gt; Can you see the lark ascending?

* Oh will you come with us &lt;br /&gt; To find the song of the oil and the brush?

'''An Architect's Dream'''
[[File:Psyche et LAmour.jpg|thumb|right|Watching the painter [[painting]] &lt;br /&gt; And all the [[time]], the [[light]] is [[changing]] &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting…]]

* Watching the painter painting &lt;br /&gt; And all the time, the light is changing &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting &lt;br /&gt; That bit there, it was an accident &lt;br /&gt; But he's so pleased &lt;br /&gt; It's the best mistake, he could make &lt;br /&gt; And it's my favourite piece. &lt;br /&gt; It's just great.

'''The Painter's Link'''
[[File:Blackbird-sunset-03.jpg|thumb|right|Who [[knows]] who wrote that [[song]] of [[summer]], &lt;br /&gt; That [[blackbirds]] [[sing]] at dusk…]]

* So all the colours run &lt;br /&gt; See what they have become &lt;br /&gt; A wonderful sunset

'''Sunset'''

* '''Who knows who wrote that song of summer, &lt;br /&gt; That blackbirds sing at dusk, &lt;br /&gt; This is a song of colour, &lt;br /&gt; Where sands sing in crimson, red and rust, &lt;br /&gt; Then climb into bed and turn to dust. '''

* Every sleepy light &lt;br /&gt; Must say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To the day before it dies &lt;br /&gt; In a sea of honey &lt;br /&gt; A sky of honey &lt;br /&gt; Keep us close to your heart &lt;br /&gt; So if the skies turn dark &lt;br /&gt; We may live on in &lt;br /&gt; Comets and stars.

'''Somewhere In Between'''

* '''It was just so beautiful. 

* '''This is where the shadows come to play twixt the day &lt;br /&gt; And night &lt;br /&gt; Dancing and skipping &lt;br /&gt; Along a chink of light

* Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The waxing and the waning wave &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; What the song and the silence says &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The ticking and the tocking clock &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in a dream between &lt;br /&gt; Sleep and waking up &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; Breathing out and breathing in &lt;br /&gt; Like twilight is neither night nor morning

* Not one of us would dare to break &lt;br /&gt; The silence &lt;br /&gt; And, oh how we have longed &lt;br /&gt; For something that would &lt;br /&gt; Make us feel so...

'''Nocturn'''


* Could be in a dream &lt;br /&gt; Our clothes are on the beach &lt;br /&gt; These prints of our feet &lt;br /&gt; Lead right up to the sea &lt;br /&gt; No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; '''No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; We stand in the Atlantic &lt;br /&gt; We become panoramic...'''

* The stars are caught in our hair &lt;br /&gt; The stars are on our fingers &lt;br /&gt; A veil of diamond dust &lt;br /&gt; Just reach up and touch it &lt;br /&gt; '''The sky's above our heads &lt;br /&gt; The sea's around our legs &lt;br /&gt; In milky, silky water &lt;br /&gt; We swim further and further...'''

[[File:Sunrise-Daytona-Beach-FL.jpg|thumb|right|Oh the [[dawn]] has come &lt;br /&gt; And the [[song]] must be [[sung]] &lt;br /&gt; And the [[flowers]] are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of [[language]] is this?]]
* We dive deeper and deeper &lt;br /&gt; Could be we are here &lt;br /&gt; Could be in my [[dream]] &lt;br /&gt; It came up on the horizon &lt;br /&gt; Rising and rising &lt;br /&gt; In a [[sea]] of honey, a [[sky]] of honey.

[[File:SwansCygnus olor edit2.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] of the [[birds]] are [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.]]
* Bright, white coming alive jumping off of the aerial &lt;br /&gt; All the time it's a changing, like now...

* '''All the time it's a changing &lt;br /&gt; And all the dreamers are waking.'''

'''Aerial'''

* '''Oh the dawn has come &lt;br /&gt; And the song must be sung &lt;br /&gt; And the flowers are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of language is this?'''

* I can't hear a word you're saying &lt;br /&gt; Tell me what are you singing &lt;br /&gt; In the sun

* '''All of the birds are laughing &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.'''

=== ''[[w:50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'' (2011) ===
[[File:Metatrons cube.svg|thumb|right|I was born in a cloud… &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.]]
[[File:Heart in snow.jpg|thumb|right|We've been in love forever.]]&lt;!-- [[File:Ka symbol.svg|thumb|right|Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.]] --&gt;
[[File:Cloches du soir.jpg|thumb|right|I can see [[angels]] standing around you. &lt;br /&gt; 
They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it.]]
[[File:Sq door handle.jpg|thumb|right| There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.]]

'''Snowflake''' 

* '''I was born in a cloud... &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Look up and you'll see me. &lt;br /&gt; You know you can hear me. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

* '''I am ice and dust. I am sky.''' &lt;br /&gt; I can see horses wading through snowdrifts. &lt;br /&gt; My broken hearts, my fabulous dances. &lt;br /&gt; My fleeting song, fleeting. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

'''[[w:Wild Man (Kate Bush song)|Wild Man]]'''

* Lying in my tent &lt;br /&gt; I can hear your cry &lt;br /&gt; Echoing round the mountainside &lt;br /&gt; You sound lonely

* [[w:Yeti|You]] were [[playing]] in the [[snow]] &lt;br /&gt; You were banging on the [[doors]] &lt;br /&gt; You climbed up on the roof &lt;br /&gt; Roof of the [[world]] &lt;br /&gt; You were pulling up the rhododendrons &lt;br /&gt; Loping down the mountain &lt;p&gt; They want to know you &lt;br /&gt; They will hunt you down &lt;br /&gt; Then they will kill you &lt;br /&gt; Run away, run away... &lt;p&gt; We found your footprints in the snow &lt;br /&gt; We brushed them all away... &lt;p&gt; You're the [[wild]] man.
'''Snowed In at Wheeler Street'''

* Excuse me I'm sorry to bother you, &lt;br /&gt; But don't I know you? &lt;br /&gt; There's just something about you. &lt;br /&gt; Haven't we met before? &lt;p&gt; '''We've been in love forever.'''

* When we got on top of the hill, &lt;br /&gt; We saw Rome burning. &lt;br /&gt; I just let you walk away. &lt;br /&gt; I've never forgiven myself.

* And I'd never know where you'd gonna be next &lt;br /&gt; But I'd know that you'd surprise me. 

'''Among Angels''' 

* Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.

* '''Aren't we all the same? In and out of doubt. &lt;br /&gt; I can see [[angels]] standing around you.''' &lt;br /&gt; They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it. &lt;br /&gt; And they will carry you o'er the walls. &lt;br /&gt; If you need us, just call.

* '''There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.''' &lt;br /&gt; You might feel it and just not show it.

=== Singles and rarities ===

[[File:Mourning angel.jpg|thumb| [[All]] the [[worlds]] they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier…]]
'''Disbelieving Angel''' (unreleased demo, c. 1973)
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/song/tda.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''So much for all the [[prayers]] you've [[learned]]. &lt;br /&gt; They are no help to basic needs. &lt;br /&gt; And all the worlds they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier.'''

* I feel so sorry for you, &lt;br /&gt; Believing because they control. &lt;br /&gt; And of all the guardian [[angels]] &lt;br /&gt; They chose me to save your soul! &lt;br /&gt; '''Oh, I'm just trying to explain, &lt;br /&gt; I'm a disbelieving angel.'''

'''Passing Through Air''' (1978)

* '''Passing through [[air]]. &lt;br /&gt; You mix the [[stars]] with your arms.''' &lt;br /&gt; Walking through there. &lt;br /&gt; The [[doom]] of [[eternity]] balms. &lt;br /&gt; [[Skies]] of grey are not today.

* Oh! Don't you throw my [[love]] away, &lt;br /&gt; I need your loving, I need your loving...

''' The Magician''' (1979)

* '''When you reach for a [[Stars|star]] &lt;br /&gt; Only [[angels]] are there &lt;br /&gt; And it's not very far &lt;br /&gt; Just a step on a stair &lt;br /&gt; Take a look at those [[clowns]] &lt;br /&gt; And the tricks that they play &lt;br /&gt; In the circus of life &lt;br /&gt; Life is bitter and gay &lt;p&gt; There are clowns in the night &lt;br /&gt; Clowns everywhere &lt;br /&gt; See how they run &lt;br /&gt; Run from despair ...
** This was a song written for the soundtrack of ''[[w:The Magician of Lublin (film)|The Magician of Lublin]]'' (1979), based on the 1960 novel by [[Isaac Bashevis Singer]]; Kate's singing of it appears at times in the background within the film - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkfbkVKmbG0 YouTube video] 

* When the [[fantasy]] bells &lt;br /&gt; Of the [[universe]] ring &lt;br /&gt; You can fly through the [[sky]] &lt;br /&gt; On a dragonfly's wing. &lt;br /&gt; '''There is [[magic]] within &lt;br /&gt; There is magic without &lt;br /&gt; Follow me and you'll learn &lt;br /&gt; Just what life's all about.'''

'''[[w:December Will Be Magic Again|December Will Be Magic Again]]''' (1980)

* ''[[December]] will be [[magic]] again.'' &lt;br /&gt; Take a husky to the ice &lt;br /&gt; While [[w:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]] sings [[w:White Christmas (song)|White Christmas]]. &lt;br /&gt; He makes you feel nice. &lt;br /&gt; '''December will be magic again.'''

* See how I fall like the snow, &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the lovers, &lt;br /&gt; (But don't you wake them up) &lt;br /&gt; Come to sparkle the dark up, &lt;br /&gt; With just a touch of make up. &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the muck up. &lt;br /&gt; ''' Ooh with a little luck — &lt;br /&gt; December will be magic again. '''

* December will be magic again. &lt;br /&gt; Don't miss the brightest star, &lt;br /&gt; Kiss under mistletoe, &lt;br /&gt; '''I want to hear you laugh, &lt;br /&gt; Don't let the mystery go now.'''

[[File:Rosa sp.181.jpg|thumb|Go right to the [[rose]]. Go right to the white rose …]]
'''Warm And Soothing''' (1980)

* Warm and soothing &lt;br /&gt; That's how I remember home. &lt;br /&gt; Walking into arms through the back door &lt;br /&gt; Hearing voices I know well and long for.

* I'm reeling in the music, &lt;br /&gt; And I've only had a few... &lt;br /&gt; And I'm afraid by the way we grow old... &lt;br /&gt; My darling...

'''Under the Ivy''' (1985)
[[File:Efeu Blatt.JPG|thumb| It's not easy for me to give away a [[secret]] — It's not [[safe]]…]]
* '''This little girl inside me &lt;br /&gt; Is retreating to her favourite place. &lt;br /&gt; Go into the garden. &lt;br /&gt; Go under the ivy, &lt;br /&gt; Under the leaves, &lt;br /&gt; Away from the party. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the rose. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the white rose &lt;br /&gt; (For me.)'''

* ''' It's not easy for me &lt;br /&gt; To give away a secret — &lt;br /&gt; It's not safe...'''

[[File:Joseph Mallord William Turner, English - The Burning of the Houses of Lords and Commons, October 16, 1834 - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb| As we cross the [[bridge]] — the burning bridge — With [[flames]] behind us, We front the line. It's you and me, baby, against the [[world]].]]
'''Burning Bridge''' (1985)
* ''' I know it works for me. &lt;br /&gt; As we cross the bridge — the burning bridge — &lt;br /&gt; With flames behind us, &lt;br /&gt; We front the line. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me, baby, against the world.'''

'''Be Kind To My Mistakes''' (1986)
:&lt;small&gt;Song for the film [[w:Castaway (Lucy Irvine)|''Castaway'' (1986)]]; later included in the collection ''This Woman's Work''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I don't know you, &lt;br /&gt; And you don't know me. &lt;br /&gt; It is this that brings us together. '''

'''You Want Alchemy''' (B-side of [[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]] single) (4 April 1994)
[[File:Winged Sun alchemical.jpg|thumb|right|Did you [[know]] they can [[change]] it [[all]]? &lt;br /&gt; They got [[alchemy]].]]

* What a lovely afternoon &lt;br /&gt; On a [[w:Cloudbusting|cloudbusting]] kind of day. &lt;br /&gt; We took our own 'Mystery Tour' &lt;br /&gt; And got completely lost somewhere up in the hills. &lt;p&gt; And we came up on a bee-keeper, &lt;br /&gt; And he said &quot;'''Did you know they can change it all?'''&quot; 

* '''They got [[alchemy]].''' &lt;br /&gt; They turn the roses into gold &lt;br /&gt; They turn the lilac into honey &lt;br /&gt; They're making love for the peaches. &lt;p&gt; '''And they'll do it, &lt;br /&gt; Do it for you.'''

== Quotes about Kate Bush ==
:&lt;small&gt;Arranged alphabetically by author.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Emilybronte retouche.jpg|thumb|right|People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that song. ~ Alan Bentley]]

* '''One of the main things that brings people to the Brontë Museum from all over the world is Kate Bush.''' We have copies of her No 1 hit single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; in our collection of [[Emily Brontë|Brontë]]-related items. '''People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that [[song]].'''
** Alan Bentley, director of the [http://www.bronte.org.uk/Brontë Parsonage Museum]

* To me, Kate Bush will always represent the age of exploring your sexuality, when you change from a girl to a woman. I guess that's what I found fascinating about Kate, she totally stuck out. She created her own look and sound. There's a timelessness to her music.
** [[Björk]]

* I think she is still relevant. It's nice to see people reinvent themselves. She was a great performer and a great singer. I like that song, you know the one, &quot;It's me, I'm Cathy…&quot; I love that song. I remember listening to it growing up.
** [[w:Mutya Buena|Mutya Buena]] of [[w:Sugababes|Sugababes]]

* '''I know this may give her a mystique and make the press all the more curious about her, but that's not the intention; it's not a ploy to get her more attention. She genuinely doesn't see why people should be interested in her personal life and she certainly doesn't like going out to clubs or trendy restaurants. It's just not her.'''
** Paddy Bush, Kate's brother, as quoted in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; by Amy Standen, in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* For me, it's not important how well the songs will be received because I think she's already an amazing influence in what she's done. I listen to her stuff a lot while I sketch and I think there is a weird sense of emotional encouragement in her work. There's something therapeutic in her voice and in her attitude, so that sometimes just listening to it can encourage you or give you some kind of energy.
** [http://www.widemedia.com/fashionuk/fashion/catwalk-archive/lfw-ss01/hc.html Hussein Chalayan, fashion designer]

* I didn't realise how commercially successful she might be. I thought of her more really, I suppose, in the terms of someone like [[Joni Mitchell]] — the level of a lady who's very talented, but would appeal to a more esoteric audience. But she had different ideas.
** [[David Gilmour]] of [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] who helped Kate's career get started.

* '''Kate Bush's celebrated full return to the stage after a 35-year absence is proving that absence makes the heart grow fonder.''' Eight positions of the current British albums chart are occupied by the art-rock icon's albums, according to ''The New York Times'', which sets a new record for the artist, whose 1978 debut single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; made her the first female in British charts history to have a self-written Number One. &lt;br /&gt; In addition to being the only woman in U.K. charts history to have that many albums in the Top 40, Bush is now trailing [[Elvis Presley]] and the [[Beatles]] for having simultaneous Top 40 records; Presley had 12 at one point in his career, while the Beatles, at another time, had 11.
** Kory Grow, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/kate-bush-pens-letter-thanking-fans-following-concert-run-20141022 &quot;Kate Bush Lands Eight Albums on British Chart Following Comeback Shows&quot;, in ''Rolling Stone'' (2 September 2014)]

* One of music's most reclusive and enigmatic figures has re-emerged into what some have seen as a rich era for British female singer-songwriters. Bush's new double album, ''Aerial'', is due out in November, only her eighth after three decades in the business. It will be treated with due reverence.
** Terry Kirby in [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece ''The Independent''] (2 September 2005)

* That's a song where we were listening to a lot of Kate Bush last summer, and we wanted a song which had a lot of tom-toms in it,I just had my daughter up also, and was kind of feeling in a sense of awe and wonderment, so the song is kind of a Kate Bush song about miracles.
** [[Chris Martin]], on the links between [[Coldplay]]'s song &quot;Speed of Sound&quot; and Kate Bush's &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running up that Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;. He later said &quot;we tried to copy the drums, guitar, melody….etc&quot;

* '''Of course she's still relevant. I wasn't actually in the country when her music first came out, so I only discovered it three or four years ago. What's amazing is that something like &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; still sounds so different.''' I actually saw her about nine months ago, we were just passing at an industry event and I went up to her and said I was a big fan and asked her about the new record. She was really excited about it but quite nervous because she felt that everyone was hyping it up a bit and she just wanted to bring out an album. You know, she's a musician.
** [[Katie Melua]]

* Her music remains reassuringly the same ecstatic alchemy of the humdrum and otherworldly. Recalling the hello-clouds wonder of The Big Sky from 1985's ''Hounds of Love'' or the frank paean to menstruation that is Strange Phenomena from her debut, ''The Kick Inside'', ''Aerial'' finds Bush marvelling in the magic of the everyday: the wind animating a skirt hanging on a clothes line, the trace of footprints leading into the sea, the indecipherable codes of birdsong.
** ''MOJO'' magazine as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)

* '''I simply think she is one of the greatest figures in British music over the last 30 years. There are an awful lot of people in the business wandering around claiming to be artists, but she is one of the few who can genuinely make that claim... I don't think there is any competition, she's on a different level and quite outside them all.'''
** Paul Rees, editor of ''Q'' Magazine, as quoted in ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

* Could Keely Garfield be the Kate Bush of downtown dance? The question is raised by “Wow,” the bizarre, hilarious, enthralling, confounding and cathartic new work that Ms. Garfield presented on Thursday at Danspace Project. Surely it is the recent comeback tour of Ms. Bush that has put that singer-songwriter on Ms. Garfield's mind. But it is “Wow” that suggests the comparison: two British-born women, intensely idiosyncratic and theatrical with outlandish taste in costumes, who follow their imaginations uninhibitedly. &lt;br /&gt; The salient difference would seem to be irony. Much of Ms. Bush's power stems from her absolute [[sincerity]], the sense that she is unaware that anyone might find what she's doing ridiculous. But Ms. Garfield has always been wry, droll, deadpan. Her assertion in a program note that she meant “Wow” to be “entirely sincere without a hint of irony or cleverness” cannot and should not be taken as entirely sincere. &lt;br /&gt; The program also credits Matthew Brookshire with “music inspired by the poetry of Kate Bush.” What we actually hear, though, are Kate Bush songs. Some are played in the original recordings, some chopped up and looped, but most are performed live by the marvelous Mr. Brookshire, on vocals and piano, joined by Ms. Garfield and her four terrific dancers. The arrangements are stripped down and seductively vibrant. Some lyrics are recited in a manner between sports cheer and Greek chorus. Some singsongy melodies are swapped for the tunes of actual nursery rhymes. &lt;br /&gt; Ms. Garfield, in other words, does not shy from the naïveté of her material. Much of her choreography illustrates the lyrics literally, in the manner of a children's pageant.
** Brian Seibert, in [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/18/arts/dance/keely-garfield-draws-on-kate-bush-at-danspace-project.html &quot;Sincerity and Irony Meet on the Dance Floor&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (17 December 2014)]

* '''With a voice you either love or hate, she belts out a song with a desperation that grabs you and won't let go.'''
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* Bush has always teetered dangerously at the edge of sentimentality and cliché, and her early songs (what one reviewer called her “soft-focus Victorian melodramas”) could have gone all wrong had her bizarre phrasing not somehow let us know how serious she was. &lt;br /&gt; '''Bush sang melodramas, but she meant them like truth; those “oohs” aren't filler. The conviction in her voice, the baldness and great crushing desperation of it, is overpowering.''' It's the kind of music that grabs your innards and you turn it up, squint your eyes with the strain of it. Kate Bush was younger than 20 when she wrote “Wuthering Heights.” She couldn't (and still can't) read or write music, but she knew how to make a song true, how to up the tension with a key change, repeat the chorus with a hardness in her voice. &lt;br /&gt; She was a prodigy, an 18-year-old who looked 35, with an ethereal voice and a knack for inventive songwriting. She looks, in photos of the time, simultaneously naive and defiant, like someone who doesn't need other people. Much later in life, when she was asked in an interview with ''Rolling Stone'' why she toured so infrequently, Bush replied: “'''The more I got into presenting things to the world, the further it was taking me away from what I was, which was someone who just used to sit quietly at a piano and sing and play. It became very important to me not to lose sight of that.'''” &lt;br /&gt; In other words, Bush decided early on that our approval didn't matter. She was doing this from herself and largely for herself and if people didn't like her, or if they didn't understand her, well then, screw them.
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* I'm really looking forward to Kate Bush's return — I'm no expert on her work but I know some of it and I think she's an incredibly original and talented artist. Anyone who writes most of an album like her first album, ''The Kick Inside'', at 15 years old has got to be pretty special.
** [[w:KT Tunstall|KT Tunstall]]

* '''When EMI invites a group of journalists to the Royal Academy of Music, in London, for a one-off listen to Kate Bush's new album, they are sending a clear signal — this album is not to be dismissed lightly.'''
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is, in a sense, a lyric poem set to music. Full of lush, fecund melodies which swing from jazz to rock, it is threaded through with bird song and chatter and feels distinctly organic and earthy.... Side two is the album Pink Floyd might have made if Kate Bush had been their lead singer and lyricist in 1979.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)
** '''Bush has written a lyric poem set to music, which has an epic quality, transporting the listener to a deeply lush and fertile landscape.''' Lyrically cryptic, but strangely seductive, side two is the album [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] might have made in 1979 if Bush had been their lead singer. &lt;br /&gt; '''Concept albums are not everyone's cup of tea — but this is a masterpiece.'''
*** Variant in a later [http://web.archive.org/web/20090115012224/http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/release/fprg/ BBC summary review] 

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is a celebration of song itself, which has a child's joyful lack of inhibition about it — Kate Bush is heard laughing freely towards the end while a young child, possibly her son, is heard several times... Aerial stands alongside The Hounds of Love and The Kick Inside as her finest work.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* I always heard about Kate Bush being considered one of the most influential female artists during the modern era of pop/rock music, but never understood what her appeal was... But when I recently stumbled upon her debut 1978 single, &quot;Wuthering Heights,&quot; I found myself spending hours absorbing as much of her pre-1985 material as possible . . . Listening to an early Kate Bush album brings you far, far, away to a dreamworld filled with pixies and love and Peter Pan and pure hearts . . .''' &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; and the rest of ''The Kick Inside'' display all of Bush's trademarks: a literary consciousness; flourishing, heartfelt waves and the ability to successfully incorporate just about every eccentric vocal style you've never heard into each song.'''
** Jared Wolfe, in ''The Cornell Daily Sun'' (20 October 2005)

* '''Illusion, dance, mime, even magic — the Tour of Life, as it was called, had the lot.''' &lt;br /&gt; I shan't forget the way those [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]]-like whale sounds that open The Kick Inside album heralded Kate's entry to the stage as waves were projected on huge screens and her band launched into Moving. &lt;br /&gt; For a split second, the audience thought Kate was lip-synching because there was no microphone, but in pre-dating Madonna by a couple of decades, she was wearing a headset to allow free movement around the stage. &lt;br /&gt; Every song from that first album was performed before the switch to stuff from follow-up Lionheart, virtually every number warranting a change of costume and stage set. ... '''The entire show was pure theatre.'''
** Jade Wright, quoting a fan who was at the opening of Kate's one and only musical tour, in [http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-entertainment/liverpool-arts/2007/10/29/kate-bush-at-the-empire-april-3-1979-100252-20025105/ &quot;Kate Bush at the Empire, April 3, 1979&quot; by Jade Wright in the ''Liverpool Echo'' (29 October 2007)]

=== The Unique Poetry Of Kate Bush (1985) ===
[[File:Rosen - Frederick Delius.jpg|thumb|Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her [[music]] will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it. ~ Sue Hudson]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/reaching/i85_hifi.html Review by Sue Hudson] in ''Hi-Fi &amp; Record Review'' (December 1985)&lt;/small&gt;

* We've been holding our breath for a long time. Three years of playing the old songs and wondering &quot;whatever next?&quot; Would it be even weirder than ''The Dreaming?'' Would it leave more admirers by the wayside, shaking their heads?... The real fans will happily go along for the ride, even if she isn't going the pretty way. 

* '''Kate journeys into new and exciting territories. She is an original in a [[music]] [[world]] dominated by cover versions, regressive movements and identikit superstars.''' The direct opposite of the archetypal rock star: compulsively introvert in a world of screaming extraverts, middle-class and deeply English amid England's all-pervasive working class American ethos, boldly feminine in rock's macho climate. '''Her melodic genius and articulate lyrics make the rest seem moronically simplistic.'''

* After a thousand songs on the theme of boy-meets-girl-boy-loses-girl or Thatcher's Britain, exposure to her music comes as an imaginative release as we go giddily flying into the limitless possibilities of the poetic viewpoint. Here is talk of whales, of Peter Pan, kites, Houdini, mysticism... '''Acquaintances have observed, &quot;She lives in a world of her own.&quot; But it's a world that lives within [[all]] of us, and her [[songs]] shine [[light]] into neglected areas of our [[minds]].'''

* Her subjects come tripping from library shelves, television and cinema screens and musty books of fairy tales, the stuff that dreams are made of. She spins tunes that haunt, twist and turn the mind, triggering long forgotten moods. Listening intently to her albums is an experience akin to having a lucid and feverish dream. [[Jungian]] [[symbols]] of youth, [[innocence]], [[spiritual]] escape and the dark, feminine realm abound. [[Ghosts]] haunt the black vinyl grooves... But it's not all brooding intensity. There are [[jokes]], too...

* '''It's a mischievous [[paradox]] that, while rock at its ultra-macho best is exhilarating and energizing, yet just at the moment when it is most strident and loud it leaves you needing something more. Then along comes a shy doctor's daughter from Welling who out-screams the best, out-powers the noisiest and tops it with the satisfying impact of musical and psychological depth.''' It's almost [[Richard Wagner|Wagnerian]].'''

* '''Her [[talent]] was precocious.''' &quot;The Saxophone Song&quot; and &quot;The Man With the Child in His Eyes&quot; were recorded as demo tapes when Kate was still at school. The first album, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978), caused tremendous media interest and is still the public's favourite. '''Her [[voice]], criticized at the time, was small and childlike, the range erratic, if impressive. Since then it has improved enormously, deepening and gaining power and flexibility, until now it is a great asset, individual and capable of both subtle and stunning effects.'''

* The album ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' came next and starts in happy mood, with a summer night of a cha-cha-cha tribute to a new-found hero, &quot;[[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]]&quot;. The philosophic All We Ever Look For creates a remarkable and rare mood of reassurance and upbeat resignation, a Bush specialty . . . The end comes in the horrifying &quot;Breathing&quot;, a vision of the nuclear holocaust through the eyes of an unborn child.

* On to ''[[w:The Dreaming|The Dreaming]]'', a strange, alien album full of [[mysticism]] and obscurantae. Its impact owes much to sheer production quality. Kate has gradually taken over this aspect of her records since ''[[w:Lionheart|Lionheart]]'', and each LP is technically more impressive. Her voice here is forward and strong and, on &quot;Leave It Open&quot;, deliberately distorted to create a surreal effect. Get Out of My House is a shattering trip into madness, with a stunning culmination which finds Kate braying like a mule amid a chorus of Indian drum talk.

* The new album, ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'', breaks new ground for Kate with the b-side. This is a story — The Ninth Wave — told in a series of songs, like a Pink Floyd concept album.

* '''Casual listeners will miss the depth of the music.''' You must sit down with the lyric sheet and find out what's going on. All the vocal acrobatics and weird sounds click into place when you know what ideas, stories and situations they are expressing. In most rock and pop, the music and words may be linked, but are basically separate. '''Kate creates, more and more, a fusion between the two — the sounds directly expressing the subject.''' This is a throwback to Wagner's music-drama, with its leitmotifs, turning music into an idea. The [[Beatles]] revived the technique, and bands of the hippy era like [[Pink Floyd]] carried the banner. . . Kate is fast becoming a master in the use of this sonic montage, perhaps because the ideas she is using are far more complex, have more &quot;resonances&quot;, than those of her contemporaries.

* '''Kate will never be an academic artist, drily applying intellectual music theory to the delight of a handful of peers, forging into new areas for the sake of &quot;progress&quot;. Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her music will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it.''' I just hope that she will have the confidence to follow her instincts and not be discouraged by the music press, who in the main are baffled and annoyed by her uniqueness. Unable to pigeon-hole her music, they turn instead to ridicule and condescension to fill the pages. Which is a disservice to the British public who, to their undying credit, have made Kate Bush such a popular success.

===Kate Bush rules, OK? (2005) ===
[[File:Let Love Rule.jpg|thumb|right|Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Article by [[w:Michael Berkeley|Michael Berkeley]], published in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1589379,00.html ''The Guardian''] (11 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* When the conductor Richard Hickox rang me one day in 1984 to ask if I could help with a rather unusual job for which he and his choir had been engaged, I was intrigued. Kate Bush, it transpired, was working on her new album, ''Hounds of Love'', and for one track, Hello Earth, she wanted a chorus to recreate the orthodox singing/chanting that made such a contribution to the film ''[[Nosferatu]]''.

* '''I had always considered Kate Bush truly original both as a performer and as a songwriter with an unusually fresh sense of harmony.''' If her new album next month is awaited with some excitement after a long fallow period, then in 1985 it was assumed that ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' would be something of a final fling at the conclusion of a waning career. '''I soon realised how wrong this assumption was when Kate sent me a cassette''': it was zany, ambitious and yet utterly Kate Bush, but with gaps where I was to do her bidding. Having chatted at length, she sent me a long letter with the words of the song and precise instructions on how it should unfold...''' Structure was carefully delineated, verses and choruses written out fully and marked up in colour, and she talked of the sound quality in the most graphic terms.'''

* '''Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.''' I have always been fascinated by the difference of dynamics at work between popular artists and conventionally trained classical musicians, and had a similar experience with [[The Edge|the Edge]], of [[U2]], when we worked together on the score of a film called ''Captive''. '''In fact, gifted &quot;pop&quot; musicians like Bush and U2 are far more demanding of themselves in the studio than classical musicians can afford to be, and will spend days working on a tiny fragment.'''

* Come the recording day, a group of male choristers, more accustomed to singing church services than backing vocals, descended on Bush's home, which was equipped with its own studio. Doubtless they were imagining that they were about to meet a wild-eyed rock babe, but Kate, quiet and unassuming — the kind of sympathetic, slightly shy girl who greets you from behind the counter at the local chemist — introduced us to her friend the bass player [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], who engineered the session. None of the singers or Richard had ever gone over and over four or five phrases so exactingly. No measure of Bach or Mozart had, in their experience, been subjected to such surgical scrutiny, and I began to worry that their voices might begin to tire. '''But Bush knew and got what she wanted and &quot;Hello Earth&quot; is, I think, a remarkable track on the album that finally broke the American market and established her as an iconic and hugely influential figure. I can't wait to hear what she has been up to now.'''

=== Admit it, guys, she's a genius (2005) ===
[[File:Genius logo.png|thumb|right|For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html Article by Kitty Empire, in ''The Observer''] (30 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.''' ... Before disgust stopped me getting dragged into these skirmishes, I had a ready arsenal of Girl Greats — [[Patti Smith]], [[Björk]], [[w:Nina Simone|Nina Simone]], [[w:Delia Derbyshire|Delia Derbyshire]], [[w:Polly Harvey|Polly Harvey]], and so on. And yet, there would often be some caveat why genius eluded my candidates (ripped off Dylan etc). '''Until we would get to Kate. Female genius? Kate Bush. End of. &lt;br /&gt; ''Aerial'', the first Kate Bush album in a young lifetime (12 years), re-establishes the fact. It is extraordinary — jaw-dropping, no less.'''

* ''Aerial'' succeeds because it's all there for a reason. And because the good stuff is just so sublime. 'King of the Mountain', Bush's Elvis-inspired single, is both a fine opener and a total red herring. Bush's juices really get going on 'Pi', a sentimental ode to a mathematician, audacious in both subject matter and treatment. The chorus is the number sung to many, many decimal places. It's closely followed by a gushing ode to Bush's son, Bertie, that's stark and medieval-sounding. The rest of disc one (aka ''A Sea of Honey'') sets a very high bar for disc two, with the Joan of Arc-themed 'Joanni' and the downright poppy 'How to Be Invisible' raising the hair on your arms into a Mexican wave. &lt;br /&gt; Disc two, subtitled ''A Sky of Honey'', is a suite of nine tracks which, among other things, charts the passage of light from afternoon ('Prologue') to evening ('An Architect's Dream', 'The Painter's Link') and through the night until dawn. Things get a little hairier here.

* '''It's clear Bush is still a force to be reckoned with. The problem, though, with female genius — for many men at least — is that very frequently it is not like male genius. And with its songs about children, washing machines going 'slooshy sloshy', Joan of Arc, Bush's mother, not to mention the almost pagan sensuality that runs through here like a pulse, Aerial is, arguably, the most female album in the world, ever.''' ... the artistry here is so dizzying, the ambition and scope so vast, that even the deafest, most inveterate misogynist could not fail to acknowledge it. '''Genius. End of.'''

=== Kate Bush: Finally, something for the grown-ups (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''The Independent'' (31 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Such is the idiosyncratic nature of her work that she could probably disappear for a half-century and still sustain her own unique position in the pop firmament.''' But then, who else would write about an obsessive-compulsive housewife or attempt a vocal duet with trilling birds, or, in the most courageous of the album's many unusual strategies, sing huge strings of numbers, a gambit that brings new meaning to the old critic's chestnut about being happy to listen to someone singing the telephone directory?

* Many years ago, back near the start of her career, she regarded the domestic demands of motherhood as a dubious prospect, claiming her work was her love, and how could she do that and bring up a child at the same time? The answer, presumably, was not to work for a dozen years.

* She has always freely admitted being like a little girl in many ways, and furthermore, happily presumes she'll still be that way in her dotage. It's certainly still a factor on ''Aerial'' , both in the track &quot;Bertie&quot; itself and in the memories and reminiscences that cobweb some other songs. But compared to the darker corners of the mind sometimes mined in earlier songs, the new album seems a much sunnier affair: an enduring image I took away from it — not necessarily a lyric, though it might have been — was of windows flung wide open, their curtains billowing out in the breeze, a room's long-dormant dust stirred into life again.

* She's unafraid, too, of tackling more problematic areas of sexuality, as for instance when she dealt with cradle-snatching in &quot;The Infant Kiss&quot; and incest in &quot;The Kick Inside&quot;. But not all that seems erotic in her music is about sex, as an EMI employee discovered when he found her working on the hypnotic &quot;out-in-out-in&quot; chant section of &quot;Breathing&quot; (from 1980's ''Never For Ever''), and expressed outrage at EMI's young pop princess making such an overtly sexual record. The song is, of course, about breathing. Duhhh!

* At around an hour and a half, Aerial is unquestionably a substantial piece of work, and its manifold peculiarities and quirks offer much more interesting fare than that available from today's AOR mainstream. It's also a more mature undertaking than any of her previous albums, an extended meditation on art and light, fame and family, creativity and the natural world. Indeed it seems, come to think of it, like an expansion of the theme of Laura Veirs' gorgeous &quot;Rapture&quot;. And since that was the finest song of last year, I'd have to say that leaves Kate Bush still operating at the cutting-edge of intelligent adult pop, every bit as relevant now as at any point in her career. Just a little bit weirder, thank heavens.

=== ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014) ===
[[File:Viv Albertine.jpg|thumb|&quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; … this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'' ~ [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]] ]] 
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of various people from the BBC documentary [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4sLwt8mhZs ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014)], listed alphabetically.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Tori Amos 2 pianos.jpg|thumb|I remember, I had to pull over, and [[listen]] to it, because I'd never [[heard]] anything like it. ~ [[Tori Amos]] ]]
[[File:Big Boi Counterpoint.jpg|thumb|That's [[w:Running Up That Hill|one of like my all-time favorite songs]], dude … every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord. ~ [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]] ]] 
[[File:St Vincent by Sachyn Mital.jpg|thumb|You don’t ever get the sense that she's making [[music]] to pander to anyone. I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her [[true]] [[vision]] whenever you get a Kate Bush record. ~ [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]] ]]
[[File:Peter Gabriel Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|Kate's wonderful [[voice]] is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of [[love]] out there for them. ~ [[Peter Gabriel]] ]]
[[File:Gaiman-headshot.jpg|thumb|One of the things I [[love]] about Kate Bush is her absolute [[ability]] to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them [[work]]. ~ [[Neil Gaiman]] ]]
[[File:David Gilmour - live 8 - edited.jpg|thumb|I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; ~ [[David Gilmour]] ]]
[[File:Elton John in Norway 5.jpg|thumb|[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|That record she did]] with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my [[life]]. ~ [[Elton John]] ]]
[[File:Miss Khan.jpg|thumb|She seems to have an endless kind of [[ability]] to put herself in and with [[empathize]] with different [[characters]] and viewpoints. ~ [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]] ]]
[[File:John Lydon at the Hammersmith Odeon, 2008-09-02 (4).jpg|thumb|My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] … It’s a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things. ~ [[John Lydon]] ]]
[[File:Lindsey Kemp Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|I got back to my [[home]] … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn’t know she had any aspirations of being a [[singer]]. She never talked about herself. ~ [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]] ]] 
[[File:Tricky mp3h1943.jpg|thumb|I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to. … When I first heard [[Billie Holiday]], I'd never heard anything like that in my [[life]] — the same with Kate Bush. ~ [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]] ]]

* When Kate Bush came along, sort of '78, I was in [[w:The Slits|The Slits]] , and I remember I was sitting in a van outside our singer's house, waiting to do a gig, and &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; And I kept waiting for the melody to repeat, because, you know, at that time, pop music was very much Radio One, you know it was repeating melodies very quickly, and '''this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'''''
** [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]]

* '''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'s just one of those song's you just can't get out of your head, can you?''' You know, how she just takes a word, and you start seeing images and pictures. To a word that maybe you haven't used ... it's &quot;Babooshka&quot; and she's turned that into an emotion, that's just how she's able to use a combination of a word and a combination of a melody and the rhythm of that, and it creates a new language.
** [[Tori Amos]]

* I just remember pulling aside, I was driving, and I heard it on the radio, in the states — and she didn't really get played a lot in the states, until that song — that really got played — a lot. '''I remember, I had to pull over, and listen to it, because I'd never heard anything like it.'''
** [[Tori Amos]], on first hearing &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* The intention is to tell a story, to create a sonic world for us, a sonic ''painting'', for us to walk into, without having to see her. She's transcending that. '''She's [[choosing]] to transcend that. And that's a very powerful thing to do.'''
** [[Tori Amos]]

* '''I don't think she's ever particularly wanted to &quot;play the game&quot;, has she?''' But when you've done ''great'' work, like she's done, and then you retract from the public, people almost have to make up their own version of you, don't they?
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]]

* I've spent ''many, many'' hours listening to that 30 minutes of [[music]]. It's an incredible piece of music, and '''I would advise anyone who's never heard it to go and listen to it, because it's one of the ''[[great]]'' pieces of music.'''
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]], on &quot;The Ninth Wave&quot; section of ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]''

*'''She's sort of stretching the fabric, not just of her [[voice]], but of the whole kind of pop form.''' ... It's like a child, it's like a kind of reveling in what her voice can do. 
** [http://katherineangel.com Katherine Angel], on Kate's singing

* '''It's as if, within her voice, there's ''[[everything]]'' — every possible facet of [[human]] [[experience]] is their under her surface, and her [[work]] as a [[writer]] is to constantly draw that out'''. Not just the particularity of her experiences as a female body, but her experience as a person, which is to be prey to all kinds of forces and sensations. 
** Katherine Angel

* '''That's one of like my all-time favorite songs, dude.''' Music is supposed to evoke [[emotion]], you know what I'm saying, It makes you feel a certain way, you know, that's what the vibrations are. Its, its not stagnant, its not just, not just plain — '''every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord.'''	
** [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]], on &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* '''You can hear one note of a Kate Bush song, or one note of her voice even, and know immediately what it is.''' And that is the biggest feat of any artist, especially when you consider, you know, all the roads that she's gone down. 
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on Bush's singing 

* '''For that to have come out of someone's brain, period, is a remarkable feat.''' For that to have come out of someone's brain, at 17 years old — ''this incredible song'', ''incredible'' song ... there aren't that many ''amazing'' pop songs that have two or three key changes in them —‚ and I'm not talking about some modulations, I'm talking: &quot;Okay, now we're in the key of Q.&quot; It's like ''WHAT?'' But it's so brilliant, it's so memorable. I always karaoke that song — ''if I drink enough.''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* I read an interview with her one time, where she was asked, something along the lines of &quot;Why do you write from the perspective of a lot of characters?&quot; and she said very simply and eloquently &quot;because they're more interesting than I am.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''I'm convinced that, as great as that record sounds, if you had anyone else sing it, you know, anyone else try to kind of weave and make it do that thing where it burns like wildfire and it comes alive, ''no one else could do it.''''' It's incredible the way she kind of brings this cold arctic atmosphere, It's just like fire, you know? It's like all ''aaarh'' coming out of her mouth. ... and now I'm listening to the song in my head. &quot;Do you know what I really need? Do you know what I really need? I need lalalala yea yo yea yo your ''love''.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:The Sensual World (song)|The Sensual World]]&quot;

* I still remember going to the CD store and buying ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' when I was 16, and the cover — there was a [[rose]] in front of her mouth, that has bloomed, she's got big wide eyes, and '''I remember, you know, putting it on the shitty car stereo on the way home, you know — ''and my life was forever changed.'''''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''You don't ever get the sense that she's making music to pander to anyone.''' I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her true vision whenever you get a Kate Bush record.
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* She's a gift for satirists. Of course it's easy, because dull artists, especially in pop music, are very difficult to satirize. It's all there on a plate wasn't it?
** [[Steve Coogan]]

* '''I was called by my agent, who said &quot;Would you like to record a track with Kate Bush?&quot; To which there is ''only'' F-ing one possible answer.''' Unless its me ''singing''. I said, &quot;She does know I can't sing?&quot; &quot;No-no-no, it would be voicing, saying words for snow. … I still can't believe it says &quot;Kate Bush-Stephen Fry.&quot; 
** [[Stephen Fry]], talking about his work with Kate on ''[[w: 50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'', and the credits on the album.

* '''She has a very intense poetic mind.''' That's what makes it — ''that voice'' that comes in.
** [[Stephen Fry]], listening to ''50 Words for Snow''

* '''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] is still one of those things, which right from the get-go ... has its own life, because it's just a great song.''' ... For all the time that she or I or anyone spend decorating and creating moods, its actually the key element of what your saying, the melody and the chords which still speak louder than all the stuff around, on a great song. 
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* Creativity comes from the freedom to fail. And freedom to fail comes from experimentation, and that's what gives something its individuality. And, you know, '''I think her courage, which is the positive way of interpreting it, or bloody-mindedness, which is the negative, is part of what gives her real value as an artist.'''
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* It's extraordinary what that song has been used for — I think a lot of people who have gotten into trouble, have attached themselves to that song, and I think a lot of it is Kate's wonderful voice is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of love out there for them.
** [[Peter Gabriel]], on his duet with Kate on his song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* '''I'd never heard anything like it before. It was like [[w:banshee|banshee]] [[music]].''' This absolutely otherworldly voice, singing about a [[book]], and as a bookish kid, I was always fascinated by anything, any music that seems to be about or inspired by books.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* '''One of the things I love about Kate Bush is her absolute ability to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them work.''' [[James Joyce]]'s ''[[Ulysses]]'' — one of the greatest passages in all of English or Anglo-Irish literature, is Molly Bloom's glorious soliloquy ending in a sequence of Yeses. It's about embracing the [[world]] of the [[senses]], embracing [[yourself]], embracing [[sex]], embracing [[love]], embracing the [[future]], embracing ''[[all|all]]'' possibility, and it goes all the way back to me, to &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; — this is somebody who is not afraid of books. '''This is somebody who is not afraid of reading, somebody who's not afraid of writers, and who's not afraid of ''translating'', being an intermediary, being a [[door]], between the world of books and the world of rock.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Kate Bush makes a record, and you don't hear from her. And you play the stuff she has made, and one day you are surprised, and she brings out something else, and she's been quietly working away on it, for however long she wanted to work on it, and I love that. '''I love the willingness to be quiet, until its time to speak — which is something that she does over and over.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Its funny no one ever applies the term &quot;progressive rock&quot; to Kate Bush, but to me its prog. It's the same think I love about the best prog, it's like, the really sort of brash stuff, people showing technical ability, I have no interest in, but the experimental dreamy stuff, that sort of came from many places at once, I set her stuff next to, well next to [[Janis Joplin|Janis]], is the obvious comparison... 
** [[w:Guy Garvey|Guy Garvey]]

* '''I had a listen, I was intrigued ... by this strange voice, and I went to her house, met her parents down in Kent, and she played me, it must have been forty or fifty songs, on tape, and I thought, I should try to do something.''' ... We were making — [[Pink Floyd]] was making the ''Wish You Were Here'' album, and I think we had the record company people down at Abbey Road, in number 3, and I said to them &quot;Do you want to hear something I've got? And they said &quot;sure&quot;, so we found another room, and I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; 
** [[David Gilmour]], on first hearing 15 year old Kate's demo tapes, and meeting with her.

* '''It is absolutely beautiful, isn't it?''' And its a sort of over two years before any of the other recordings she did. That is her singing at the age of 16, and having written those extraordinary lyrics — about whatever they're about.
** [[David Gilmour]], listening to [[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] 

* This is a whole universe I can dive into — and for me, it was very ''avant-garde'', and expressive and kind of from a complete different planet to everything else that you see from the eighties ... it's like she was definitely out their on her own. ... '''She seems to have an endless kind of ability to put herself in and with empathize with different characters and viewpoints.'''
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

* I really ''thank'' Kate, because these touchstones like &quot;This Woman's Work&quot;, that kind of song, it's celebrating everything that's so wonderful about being a woman, and being nurturing, and intuitive and emotional, and gentle and sensual, and just like really intimate. People don't put their hearts on the line in that vulnerable way very much, and me, as an artist myself, it's helped me to not be frightened, to show all, as much of my vulnerability as a woman as possible, and in that be powerful.
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

*''' They're not &quot;normal&quot; songs. None of her songs have been &quot;normal.&quot; She's just who she is, she's unique. She's — a mystery. She's the most beautiful mystery.''' ... Let me tell you a story: when I had my civil partnership, nine years ago, in 2005, and Kate — we invited Kate, we didn't think she'd come but she came, she came with her husband Danny, and '''there were a lot of very famous people in that room, there were like 600 people — and all anybody wanted to meet was Kate Bush.''' I mean, musician, ''anybody'', they couldn't believe Kate Bush was there. She's kind of an enigma. 
** [[Elton John]]

* &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; was not your normal type song — but that's why it was so brilliant. It was something out the norm. When something like that comes along, they don't come along that often. When does the next Kate Bush come along, after Kate Bush? There hasn't been one.
** [[Elton John]]

* '''That record she did with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my life.''' That record helped me get sober. So she played a big part in my actual downfall and kind of &quot;rebirth'&quot; as it were. That record helped me so much. I never told her that, but it did.
** [[Elton John]], on her duet with Peter Gabriel on the song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* When I first heard it, I thought that's ''extremely'' challenging, the vocal — it was almost ''hysterical'', and it was so up there, the register, but it was absolutely fascinating. And I know at the time a lot of my friends couldn't bear it, they thought it was just &quot;too much&quot; — but that's exactly what drew me in. 
** [[John Lydon]], on &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']], and I think she produced that one herself. That got ''a lot of criticism'' — but I ''loved'' it. It was overloaded with textures, and tones and all manner of things. '''It's a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things.'''
** [[John Lydon]]

* I was teaching at the Dance Centre in Covent Garden. Kate turned up, dressed very properly in her ballet tights and things, and her hair straight back, looking very, very professional indeed, a very, very serious student. But as ''timid as hell'', and of course she took a place at the back of the class, you know, I had to ''coax'' her forward. I mean she was ''extremely'' shy, ''extremely'' timid, and of course the first thing I had to do was, you know, bring her out of herself, give her courage. '''I have to say that once Kate actually ''started'' dancing, she was a ''wild'' thing, she was ''wild'''''. … One day, some months after knowing her, I got back to my home … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — '''and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn't know she had any aspirations of being a singer. She never talked about herself.'''
** [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]]

* '''I knew from day one, I knew ... there was no way this girl was not going to make it. She was going to be a ''huge'' success.''' There was no way, because she was so driven for it. And her [[enthusiasm]] for it all was infectious. 
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]]

* The working relationship was never a problem, you know. We always worked together reasonably well, you know, we always argue, and we always have and always will. I've always argued with Kate, and she's always argued with me, but I guess that's just the way it is, you know, so I feel I'm emotionally involved with it all, to a great extent, you know, much more so than most people would imagine. Not only did we have a personal relationship, and I work with her — I really love her music, I really do... to the point, where '''I virtually work with nobody else — because nobody else comes close.'''
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], on the break up of his personal relationship with Kate, and his continued work with her musically.

* '''I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to.''' Where does Kate Bush come from? You can't hear her influences. It's like [[Billie Holiday]], when I first heard Billie Holiday, I'd never heard anything like that in my life — the same with Kate Bush. I can't figure out musically, artistically, who her mother and father is. 	
** [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.katebush.com/ Official site]
* [http://homepage.tinet.ie/~twoms/katebush.htm Kate Bush News]
* [http://gaffa.org/ Gaffaweb - extensive fan site]
** [http://gaffa.org/sensual/l_alpha.html Lyrics of Kate Bush songs at Gaffaweb]
* [http://ectoguide.org/artists/bush.kate Ectophile Guide to Kate Bush] &amp; [http://ectoguide.org/genre Good Music]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Always on the Run : Kate Bush] (bio and lyrics)
* [http://home.att.net/~james51453/ &quot;Cathy&quot; Online version of the book by Kate's brother, John Carder Bush]
* [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/mp3/ Kate Bush in MP3 - early studio demos by Kate Bush, plus other rare recordings.]
* [http://www.katebush.info/ Kate Bush Information and Resources]
* [http://www.angelfire.com/stars4/katebush/Art.html Links to Artwork Inspired By Kate]
* [http://www.ukkatebushfangatherings.co.uk/ UK Kate Bush Fan Gatherings]
* [http://ninthwave.free.fr/ The Ninth Wave - French Language Fan Page]
* [http://children.ofthenight.org/cloudbusting/cloudbusting.html Cloudbusting - Kate In her Own Words]
* [http://fly.hiwaay.net/~cbullard/ Kate Worlds]
* [http://www.heisjohn.com/kate/ The Single File]
* [http://www.antenna.nl/~dinyar/ Bart Dinyar's Discography]
* [http://www.wessex.clara.net/kate/ The Laser File]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Kate Bush Lyrics]
* [http://www.talisman.org/~erlkonig/KT/ Talisman Archive]
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20050205140603/http://members.tripod.com/~BrendanMartin/ The Lost Kate Bush Interview]
* [http://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/kate.bush.html Summary: &quot;The Line, The Cross &amp; The Curve&quot;]
* [http://www.salon.com/people/bc/2001/03/20/kate_bush/print.html Kate Bush] ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)
* [http://www.rollingstone.com/artist/bio/_/id/2069/katebush?pageid=rs.Artistcage&amp;pageregion=artistHeader Brief biography] at ''Rolling Stone''
'''Reviews of ''Aerial'':'''
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial'' (BBC)]
* [http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html &quot;Admit it, guys, she's a genius&quot; - ''The Observer'' (30 October 2005)]
* [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5032773 Kate Bush Returns with 'Aerial'] ([[w:National Public Radio|NPR]] audio review)
* [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece Kate Bush: The sequel&quot;], ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bush, Kate}}

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[[Category:Record producers from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
[[Category:British women]]
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[[Category:1958 births]]
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      <text bytes="131583" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Kate bush 1978 2 (cropped).png|thumb|Just being [[Life|alive]] &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt. &lt;br /&gt; These [[moments]] given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]]. &lt;br /&gt; Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we [[love]]…]]
'''[[w:Kate Bush|Catherine Bush]]''' [[w:Order of the British Empire|CBE]] (born [[30 July]] [[1958]]) is an [[English]] [[singer-songwriter]], [[musician]] and record producer. She is the sister of [[w:Paddy Bush|Paddy Bush]] and [[John Carder Bush]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Before The Dawn Costumes.jpg|thumb|[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].]]
[[File:Kate bush 1978 1.png|thumb|What's [[important]] to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.]]
[[File:Kate Bush at 1986 Comic Relief (cropped).png|thumb|The [[important]] [[people]] are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's [[lives]]. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much [[attention]] on something that's so shallow?]] 
[[File:Kate Bush and Mino Cinelu. BTD, London September 20, 2014.jpg|thumb|I'm really very [[happy]] if [[people]] can [[connect]] at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the [[story]] is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the [[world]].]]
[[File:Kate Bush Before The Dawn 2014.jpg|thumb| I have [[intentions]] as a [[writer]], but people — when they’re listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song’s about something it isn’t. That doesn’t matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it’s great.]]
 
* '''[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].''' You know... they're just ... as important as... um doctors, and priests ... or maybe not as important sometimes, and yet they have this huge aura of almost god-like quality about them, just because their craft makes a lot of money. '''And at the same time it is a ''forced'' importance — you know, football stars and theatre stars — It is man-made so the press can feed off it.'''
** ''Profiles in Rock'' interview (December 1980)

* '''I was trying to say that, really, a man and a woman, can't understand each other because we are a man and a woman. And if we could actually swap each other's roles, if we could actually be in each other's place for a while, I think we'd both be very surprised! ... And I think it would lead to a greater understanding.''' And really the only way I could think it could be done was either... you know, I thought a deal with the devil, you know. And I thought, &quot;well, no, why not a deal with [[God]]!&quot; You know, because in a way it's so much more powerful the whole idea of asking God to make a deal with you. You see, for me it is still called &quot;Deal With God&quot;, that was its title. But we were told that if we kept this title that it would not be played in any of the religious countries, [[Italy]] wouldn't play it, [[France]] wouldn't play it, and [[Australia]] wouldn't play it! [[Ireland]] wouldn't play it, and that generally we might get it blacked purely because it had God in the title.
** On her song &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;, in a [http://gaffa.org/cloud/music/running_up_that_hill.html Radio 1 Classic Albums interview with Richard Skinner (26 January 1992)]

* For me to get into that creative process I have to have a sort of quiet place that I work from. And '''if I was living the life of ... somebody in the industry, as a pop star or whatever, it's too distracting. It's too to do with other people's perceptions of who you are, and what's important to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.''' &lt;br /&gt; And I think, you know, that's something that's very difficult for people who become extremely famous. I mean, I find it completely ridiculous this obsession with celebrities. ... Why are celebrities so important to people? It's absolute crap. I mean, the important people are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's lives. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much attention on something that's so shallow?
** [http://gaffa.org/reaching/iv05_bbc2_Mark_Radcliff_interview.html Interview on ''The Mark Radcliff Show'', ''BBC Radio 2'' (7 November 2005)]

* '''Now [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|all the shows are over]], it's pretty difficult to explain how I [[feel]] about it [[all]].''' It was quite a [[surreal]] journey that kept its level of intensity right from the early stages to the [[end]] of the very last show. It was also such great [[fun]]. &lt;br /&gt; It was one of the most extraordinary [[experiences]] of my [[life]]. I loved the whole process.... I was really delighted that the shows were received so positively and so warmly but the really unexpected part of it all was the audiences. Audiences that you could only ever [[dream]] of. One of the main reasons for wanting to perform live again was to have contact with that audience.They took my breath away. Every single night they were so behind us. You could feel their support from the minute we walked on stage. I just never imagined it would be possible to connect with an audience on such a powerful and intimate level; to feel such, well quite frankly, [[love]]. It was like this at every single show. &lt;br /&gt; Thank you so very much to everyone who came to the shows and became part of that shared experience. It was a truly special and wonderful feeling for all of us.
** An open letter to her fans about her [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|&quot;Before the Dawn&quot; concerts (26 August 2014 - 1 October 2014)]], in [http://www.katebush.com/news/after-dawn &quot;After the Dawn&quot; at her official &quot;FISH P∑ΩPL∑&quot; site &quot;(22 October 2014)]

* '''[[David Bowie]] had everything. He was intelligent, imaginative, brave, charismatic, cool, sexy and truly inspirational both visually and musically.''' He created such staggeringly brilliant work, yes, but so much of it and it was so good. There are great people who make great work but who else has left a mark like his? No one like him.
** Tribute to David Bowie, in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/jan/17/david-bowie-as-seen-by-deborah-harry-chris-kate-bush-stein-carlos-alomar-julien-temple-edwyn-collins &quot;David Bowie, as remembered by…&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (17 January 2016)]

* I think musicians have a responsibility ''to try and do something that is good.'' It's so hard. It's very difficult to pull something out of the hat creatively. Although I say it's their responsibility, it's really just people trying to do the best that they can.
** As quoted in [https://www.thefader.com/2016/11/23/kate-bush-interview-before-the-dawn &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)]

* '''I'm really very happy if people can connect at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the story is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the world.''' I'm sure with a lot of paintings, people don't understand what the painter originally meant, and I don't really think that matters. I just think if you feel something, that's really the ideal goal. If that happens, then I'm really happy.
** As quoted in &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)

* '''As an artist, you're never happy with anything you do. It's part of the process.''' You're never really happy. I'm certainly not. That's a good thing. It means you're always striving to do better. You hope the next piece will be better.
** As quoted in [https://www.macleans.ca/culture/arts/in-conversation-with-kate-bush/ &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)]

* '''The great thing about art on any level is that it can speak to all people if it's achieved properly.''' When I've heard a piece of music or seen a painting that moves me, it gives me something. That's such an incredibly special experience. I have intentions as a writer, but people — when they're listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song's about something it isn't. That doesn't matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it's great.
** As quoted in &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)

=== MOJO interview (2005) ===
&lt;!-- [[File:Flag of WHO.svg|thumb|I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that [[people]] think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the [[world]].]] --&gt;
:&lt;small&gt;Excerpts from an interview in ''MOJO'' magazine (3 November 2005) as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that people think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the world. '''Y'know, I'm a very strong person and I think that's why actually I find it really infuriating when I read, 'She had a nervous breakdown' or 'She's not very mentally stable, just a weak, frail little creature'.'''

* There were so many times I thought, &quot;I'll have the album finished this year, definitely, we'll get it out this year.&quot; Then there were a couple of years where I thought, &quot;I'm never gonna do this.&quot; If I could make albums quicker, I'd be on a roll wouldn't I? '''Everything just seems to take so much time. I don't know why. Time... evaporates.'''

* ''There was a story that some EMI execs had come down to see you and you'd said something like: &quot;Here's what I've been working on,&quot; and then produced some cakes from your oven. True?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;No! I don't know where that came from. I thought that was quite funny actually. It presents me as this homely creature, which is all right, isn't it?&quot;

* '''For the last 12 years, I've felt really privileged to be living such a normal life. It's so a part of who I am.''' It's so important to me to do the washing, do the Hoovering. Friends of mine in the business don't know how dishwashers work. For me, that's frightening.''' I want to be in a position where I can function as a human being. Even more so now where you've got this sort of truly silly preoccupation with celebrities. Just because somebody's been in an ad on TV, so what? Who gives a toss?'''

== Song lyrics ==

=== ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tki.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Humpback Whale underwater shot.jpg|thumb|right|Moving [[stranger]], &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not [[afraid]] to [[feel]]?]]
[[File:Kate Bush New Zealand 1978.png|thumb|[[Touch]] me, hold me. &lt;br /&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br /&gt; Try to fall for me.]]

'''[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This first track of Bush's first album is a tribute to Bush's mime and dance instructor [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]], and opens and closes with a whale song.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Moving stranger, &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not afraid to feel?'''

[[File:Saxophone alto.jpg|thumb|right|There's something very [[real]] in how I [[feel]], honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you [[know]] it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone…]]
* [[Touch]] me, hold me. &lt;br /&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br /&gt; Try to fall for me.

* '''How I'm moved. &lt;br /&gt; How you move me &lt;br /&gt; With your beauty's potency.'''

'''The Saxophone Song'''

* '''There's something very special indeed, &lt;br /&gt; In all the places where I've seen you shine, boy.''' &lt;br /&gt; There's something very real in how I feel, honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you know it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone...

* '''You'll never know that you had all of me. &lt;br /&gt; You'll never know the poetry you've stirred in me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Of all the stars I've seen that shine so brightly, &lt;br /&gt; I've never known or felt in myself so rightly, &lt;br /&gt; It's in me...

'''[[w:Strange Phenomena (song)|Strange Phenomena]]'''
[[File:Moon rise 2-20-08-3.jpg|thumb|right|Soon it will be the phase of the [[moon]] &lt;br /&gt; When [[people]] tune in.]]

* '''Soon it will be the phase of the moon &lt;br /&gt; When people tune in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Every girl knows about the punctual blues, &lt;br /&gt; But who's to know the power behind our moves?

* '''We raise our hats to the strange phenomena. &lt;br /&gt; Soul-birds of a feather flock together.'''

[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|right| There's a hole in the [[sky]] with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite…&quot;]]
'''Kite'''

* '''There's a hole in the sky with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite, &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight!&quot;'''

* A diamond kite &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the moon, over the moon!

[[File:The Flood, by Paul Merwart.jpg|thumb|right|Suddenly I find [[myself]] &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a [[man]] I've never [[known]] before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the [[sea]], &lt;br /&gt; [[All]] his [[love]], 'til [[Eternity]].]]
'''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]'''

* '''I hear him, before I go to sleep &lt;br /&gt; And focus on the day that's been.''' &lt;br /&gt; I realise he's there, &lt;br /&gt; When I turn the light off and turn over.

* '''Nobody knows about my man. &lt;br /&gt; They think he's lost on some horizon. &lt;br /&gt; And suddenly I find myself &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a man I've never known before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the sea, &lt;br /&gt; All his love, 'til Eternity.'''

* Ooh, he's here again, &lt;br /&gt; The man with the child in his eyes.

'''[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]'''
[[File:Johann Heinrich Füssli 015.jpg|thumb|right|Ooh, it gets [[dark]]! It gets [[lonely]], &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you…]]

* '''Out on the wiley, windy moors &lt;br /&gt; We'd roll and fall in green. &lt;br /&gt; You had a temper like my jealousy: &lt;br /&gt; Too hot, too greedy. &lt;br /&gt; How could you leave me, &lt;br /&gt; When I needed to possess you? &lt;br /&gt; I hated you. I loved you, too.'''

* Bad dreams in the night. &lt;br /&gt; They told me I was going to lose the fight, &lt;br /&gt; Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering &lt;br /&gt; Wuthering Heights.

* Heathcliff, it's me — Cathy.

* '''Ooh, it gets dark! It gets lonely, &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you. &lt;br /&gt; I pine a lot. I find the lot &lt;br /&gt; Falls through without you.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm coming back, love. &lt;br /&gt; Cruel Heathcliff, my one dream, &lt;br /&gt; My only master.

* Ooh! Let me have it. &lt;br /&gt; Let me grab your soul away.

'''James And The Cold Gun'''

* Ooh, James, are you selling your soul to a cold gun?

* You're a coward, James. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from humanity. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from reality. &lt;br /&gt; It won't be funny when they rat-a-tat-tat you down.

[[File:James Barry 001.jpg|thumb|right| Nobody else can [[share]] this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The [[glorious]] [[Unity|union]].]]
'''Feel It'''

* '''Nobody else can share this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The glorious union. &lt;br /&gt; Well it could be love, &lt;br /&gt; Or it could be just lust, &lt;br /&gt; But it will be fun. &lt;br /&gt; It will be wonderful.'''

* God, but you're beautiful, aren't you? &lt;br /&gt; Feel your warm hand walking around. &lt;br /&gt; I won't pull away. &lt;br /&gt; My passion always wins. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-moving in. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-tuning in. &lt;br /&gt; Synchronise rhythm now.

'''Oh To Be In Love'''
[[File:A Love for the Arts by Delacorr.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] the colours look brighter [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new…]]
* '''I could have been anyone. &lt;br /&gt; You could have been anyone's dream. &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to choose our moment?''' &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to make me feel that? &lt;br /&gt; Why did you make it so unreal?

* '''Oh! To be in love, &lt;br /&gt; And never get out again.'''

* All the colours look brighter now. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new. &lt;br /&gt; Slipping into tomorrow too quick, &lt;br /&gt; Yesterday always too good to forget. &lt;br /&gt; '''Stop the swing of the pendulum! Let us through!'''

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Bacchante (1894).jpg|thumb|right| My [[eyes]] were shining on the [[wine]], and your aura…]]
'''L'Amour Looks Something Like You'''

* You came out of the night, &lt;br /&gt; Wearing a mask in white colour. &lt;br /&gt; My eyes were shining &lt;br /&gt; On the wine, and your aura.

* You look like an [[Angels|angel]], &lt;br /&gt; Sleeping it off at a station. &lt;br /&gt; Were you only passing through?

* I'm dying for you just to touch me, &lt;br /&gt; And feel all the energy rushing right up-a-me. &lt;br /&gt; L'amour looks something like you.

[[File:Whirling Dervishes, Konya, Turkey, RMO.jpg|thumb|right|I [[love]] the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the [[beauty]] of rare [[innocence]].]]
[[File:John William Waterhouse - The Crystal Ball.JPG|thumb|right| You don't [[need]] no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We [[humans]] got it [[all]], we perform the [[miracles]].]]
'''[[w:Them Heavy People|Them Heavy People]]'''

* '''Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me...'''

* '''I must work on my mind. For now I realise: &lt;br /&gt; Everyone of us has a heaven inside.'''

* Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. &lt;br /&gt; Them heavy people help me.

* '''They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.''' &lt;br /&gt; They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]]. &lt;br /&gt; They build up my body, break me emotionally. &lt;br /&gt; It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!

* '''I love the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the beauty of rare innocence. &lt;br /&gt; You don't need no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.'''

'''Room For The Life'''

* Hey there, you lady in tears, &lt;br /&gt; Do you think that they care if they're real, woman? &lt;br /&gt; They just take it as part of the deal.

* '''Like it or not, we were built tough, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.'''

* No, we never die for long, &lt;br /&gt; While we've got that little life &lt;br /&gt; To live for, where it's hid inside.

* Like it or not, we keep bouncing back, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.

[[File:Sonnenfinsternis 1999-08-11 1.jpg|thumb|right|I will come [[home]] again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The [[sun]] and the [[moon]] meet on yon hill.]]
'''The Kick Inside'''

* '''I'm giving it all in a moment or two. &lt;br /&gt; I'm giving it all in a moment, for you.'''

* This kicking here inside &lt;br /&gt; Makes me leave you behind. &lt;br /&gt; No more under the quilt &lt;br /&gt; To keep you warm. &lt;br /&gt; Your sister I was born. &lt;br /&gt; You must lose me like an arrow, &lt;br /&gt; Shot into the killer storm.

* You and me on the bobbing knee. &lt;br /&gt; Didn't we cry at that old mythology he'd read! &lt;br /&gt; I will come home again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The sun and the moon meet on yon hill.

=== ''[[w:Lionheart (album)|Lionheart]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_lh.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Fractal nevit 75.png|thumb|right|I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood…]]
'''[[w:Symphony in Blue|Symphony in Blue]]'''

* '''I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood...'''

[[File:The Realm of Rane - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.]]
* When that [[feeling]] of meaninglessness sets in, &lt;br /&gt; Go blowing my [[mind]] on [[God]]: &lt;br /&gt; The [[light]] in the [[dark]], with the neon arms, &lt;br /&gt; The meek He seeks, the beast He calms, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[good]] [[soul]] department.

* '''My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.'''

* '''The more I think about [[sex]], the better it gets.''' &lt;br /&gt; Here we have a [[purpose]] in [[life]]: &lt;br /&gt; Good for the [[blood]] circulation, &lt;br /&gt; Good for releasing the tension, &lt;br /&gt; The root of our [[reincarnations]].

'''In Search Of Peter Pan'''
[[File:Peter Pan 1915 cover 2.JPG|thumb|right|When I am a [[man]] I will be an astronaut, and find [[Peter Pan]].]]

* I no longer see a [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; I've been told when I get older &lt;br /&gt; That I'll [[understand]] &lt;br /&gt; It all. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not sure if I want to.

* '''They took the [[game]] right out of it. &lt;br /&gt; When I am a man &lt;br /&gt; I will be an astronaut, &lt;br /&gt; And find [[Peter Pan]].'''

'''[[w:Wow (song)|Wow]]'''
[[File:Double slit x-ray simulation monochromatic blue-white.png|thumb|right|We [[know]] [[all]] our lines so well… &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many [[times]]…]]

* '''We're [[all]] [[alone]] on the stage [[tonight]].''' &lt;br /&gt; We've been told; we're not [[afraid]] of you. &lt;p&gt; We [[know]] all [[Speech|our lines]] so well, ah-ha, &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many times: &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] and [[Repetition|time again]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Poetry|Line and line again]].

* You say we're fantastic, &lt;br /&gt; But still we don't head the bill. &lt;br /&gt; Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! ''Unbelievable!''

* Ooh, yeah, you're amazing! &lt;br /&gt; We think you are really cool. &lt;br /&gt; We'd give you a part, my love, &lt;br /&gt; But you'd have to play the fool.

'''Don't Push Your Foot On The Heartbrake'''

* Emma's come down. &lt;br /&gt; She's stopped the light &lt;br /&gt; Shining out of her eyes.

* '''Oh, come on, you've got to use your flow. &lt;br /&gt; You know what it's like, and you know you want to go.''' &lt;br /&gt; Don't drive too slowly. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your blues where your shoes should be. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your foot on the heartbrake.'''

'''Oh England My Lionheart'''
[[File:Spitfire-under.jpg|thumb|right|Oh! [[England]], my [[Lion]][[heart]]! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one [[kiss]] in apple-blossom.]]

* Oh! [[England]], my Lionheart! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one kiss in apple-blossom. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one wish, and I'd be wassailing &lt;br /&gt; In the orchard, my English rose, &lt;br /&gt; Or with my shepherd, who'll bring me home.

'''Fullhouse'''
[[File:Kate Bush (15312486456).jpg|thumb|[[Remember]] [[yourself]]. &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight…]]
* '''I am my [[enemy]]''' &lt;br /&gt; Mowing me over, &lt;br /&gt; And towing the light away.

* '''[[Remember]] [[yourself]].''' &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight...
** &quot;Remember yourself&quot; was a motto of [[G. I. Gurdjieff]], whose ideas were an early influence on Bush.

* Surely by now I should know &lt;br /&gt; I can control &lt;br /&gt; My highs and my lows &lt;br /&gt; By questioning all that I do, &lt;br /&gt; Examining every move, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get back to the rudiments.

'''In The Warm Room'''

* In the warm room &lt;br /&gt; She'll touch you with your Mamma's hand. &lt;br /&gt; You'll long to kiss those red lips, &lt;br /&gt; But when you do &lt;br /&gt; It'll feel like kicking a habit.

'''Kashka From Baghdad'''

* Kashka from Baghdad &lt;br /&gt; Lives in [[sin]], they say, &lt;br /&gt; With another man, &lt;br /&gt; But no one knows who.

* At night &lt;br /&gt; They're seen &lt;br /&gt; [[Laughing]], &lt;br /&gt; Loving. &lt;br /&gt; They know &lt;br /&gt; The way &lt;br /&gt; To be &lt;br /&gt; [[Happy]].

'''Coffee Homeground'''

* Well, you won't get me with your Belladonna — in the coffee, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me with your aresenic — in the pot of tea, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me in a hole to rot — with your hemlock &lt;br /&gt; On the rocks.

* Maybe you're lonely, &lt;br /&gt; And only want a little company, &lt;br /&gt; But keep your recipes &lt;br /&gt; For the rats to eat, &lt;br /&gt; And may they rest in peace with coffee homeground.

'''[[w:Hammer Horror (song)|Hammer Horror]]'''
[[File:Victor Hugo-Hunchback.jpg|thumb|right| I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me…]]

* You stood in the belltower, &lt;br /&gt; But now you're gone. &lt;br /&gt; So who knows all the sights &lt;br /&gt; Of Notre Dame?

* Hammer Horror, Hammer Horror, &lt;br /&gt; Won't leave me alone. &lt;br /&gt; The first time in my life, &lt;br /&gt; I leave the lights on &lt;br /&gt; To ease my soul.

* I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me. &lt;br /&gt; So all I want to do is forget &lt;br /&gt; You, friend.

=== ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' (1980) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_nfe.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Old love letters.jpg|thumb|She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do…]] 

'''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'''

* '''She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do: &lt;br /&gt; A pseudonym to fool him. &lt;br /&gt; She couldn't have made a worse move.'''

[[File:Jean Béraud L'escrimeuse.jpg|thumb|right|Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his [[wife]] when she was [[beautiful]].]]
* She sent him scented letters, &lt;br /&gt; And he received them with a strange delight. &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife &lt;br /&gt; But how she was before the tears, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was before the years flew by, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was when she was beautiful.

* Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife when she was beautiful.

'''Delius (Song Of Summer)'''
:&lt;small&gt;A song about the composers [[w:Frederick Delius|Frederick Delius]] and [[w:Eric Fenby|Eric Fenby]].&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rmh1.jpg|thumb|To be sung of a [[summer]] [[night]] on the [[water]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water.]] 

* Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ''Song of Summer'' in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ...in...in...in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; ...in his hand.

* To be sung of a summer night on the water. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; Hmm. &lt;br /&gt; Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; In B, Fenby!&quot;


'''Blow Away (For Bill)'''
:&lt;small&gt;Dedicated to Bill Duffield, Bush's lighting engineer, who died in a stage accident. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.]] 

* One of the band told me last night &lt;br /&gt; That [[music]] is all that he's got in his [[life]]. &lt;br /&gt; So where does it go? &lt;br /&gt; Surely not with his [[soul]]. &lt;br /&gt; Will all of his licks and his R'n'B &lt;br /&gt; Blow away?

* Our engineer had a different idea &lt;br /&gt; From people who nearly died but survived, &lt;br /&gt; Feeling no fear of leaving their bodies here, &lt;br /&gt; And went to a room that was soon full of visitors.

* '''Put out the light, then, put out the light.''' &lt;br /&gt; Vibes in the [[sky]] invite you to dine. &lt;br /&gt; Dust to dust, &lt;br /&gt; Blow to blow.

'''All We Ever Look For'''
[[File:Nefertiti 30-01-2006.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] we ever [[look]] for — a little bit of you.]]

* '''The whims that we're weeping for &lt;br /&gt; Our parents would be beaten for.'''

* Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.

* '''[[All]] we ever look for — a [[god]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — ooh, a [[drug]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a great big hug.''' &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you, too. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for, &lt;br /&gt; But we never do score.

'''Egypt'''
[[File:SphinxGiza.jpg|thumb|right| Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound [[lonely]] [[tonight]].]]
[[File:King_Tut_Ankh_Amun_Golden_Mask.jpg|thumb|right|Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].]]
* '''Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound lonely tonight.''' &lt;br /&gt; The sands run red &lt;br /&gt; In lands of the Pharoahs. &lt;br /&gt; Their symmetry gets right inside me.

* Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].

* My Pussy Queen &lt;br /&gt; Knows all my [[secrets]]. &lt;br /&gt; I'll never fall in love again.

'''The Wedding List'''
[[File:Bride1929.jpg|thumb|right|We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!]]

* Somehow this was it, I knew. &lt;br /&gt; Maybe fate wants you dead, too: &lt;br /&gt; We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

* All I see is Rudi. &lt;br /&gt; I die with him, again and again. &lt;br /&gt; And I'll feel good in my revenge. &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna fill your head with lead &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

'''Violin'''
[[File:Maitelouis1.jpg|thumb|right|Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over…]]
* Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over, &lt;br /&gt; Over the quavers, drunk in the bars, &lt;br /&gt; Out of the realm of the orchestra...

* Get the bow going! &lt;br /&gt; Let it scream to me: &lt;br /&gt; Violin! Violin! Violin!

* Give me the [[w:Banshee|Banshees]] for B.V.s.
** B.V.s : backing vocals.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - A Young Girl Defending Herself Against Eros (1880).jpg|thumb|right| I cannot sit and let something happen I'll [[regret]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he [[scares]] me! There's a [[man]] behind those [[eyes]].]]
'''The Infant Kiss'''
:&lt;small&gt;Ths song was inspired by the film ''[[w:The Innocents (film)|The Innocents]]'' (1961), itself derived from ''[[w:The Turn of the Screw|The Turn of the Screw]]'' (1898) by [[Henry James|Henry James]]. Bush also wrote and sang a French version of this song: &quot;''Un Baiser d'enfant''&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I say good night-night &lt;br /&gt; I tuck him in tight. &lt;br /&gt; But things are not right.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''What is this?'' An infant kiss &lt;br /&gt; That sends my body tingling?

* His little hand is on my heart. &lt;br /&gt; He's got me where it ''hurts'' me. &lt;br /&gt; Knock, knock. Who's there in this baby? &lt;br /&gt; You know how to work me. &lt;br /&gt; '''All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.'''

* I cannot sit and let &lt;br /&gt; Something happen I'll regret. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he scares me! &lt;br /&gt; There's a man behind those eyes. &lt;br /&gt; I catch him when I'm bending.

* I want to smack but I hold back. &lt;br /&gt; I only want to [[touch]]. &lt;br /&gt; But I must stay and find a way &lt;br /&gt; To stop before it gets too much! &lt;br /&gt; All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.

[[File:High Wood cemetery, France.jpg|thumb|right| What a [[waste]] of [[Army]] [[dreamers]]…]]
'''[[w:Army Dreamers|Army Dreamers]]'''

[[File:Operation_Upshot-Knothole_-_Badger_001.jpg|thumb|right|We've lost our [[chance]]. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.]]
* '''What could he do? &lt;br /&gt; Should have been a father. &lt;br /&gt; But he never even made it to his twenties. &lt;br /&gt; What a waste — &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, what a waste of &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers.'''

* Oh, Jesus Christ, he wasn't to know, &lt;br /&gt; Like a chicken with a fox, &lt;br /&gt; He couldn't win the war with ego. &lt;br /&gt; Give the kid the pick of pips, &lt;br /&gt; And give him all your stripes and ribbons. &lt;br /&gt; Now he's sitting in his hole, &lt;br /&gt; He might as well have buttons and bows.

[[File:Ivy King - distance.jpg|thumb|right| I [[love]] my Beloved… [[All]] and everywhere, Only the [[fools]] blew it…]]
'''[[w:Breathing (song)|Breathing]]'''

* '''Outside &lt;br /&gt; Gets inside &lt;br /&gt; Through her skin.'''

* '''Breathing my mother in, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing my beloved in''', &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing her nicotine, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing the fall-out in, &lt;br /&gt; Out in, out in, out in, out in.

* '''We've lost our chance. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.'''

* '''I love my &lt;br /&gt; Beloved, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; All and everywhere, &lt;br /&gt; Only the fools blew it. &lt;br /&gt; You and me &lt;br /&gt; Knew life itself is &lt;br /&gt; Breathing...'''

[[File:Holygrail.jpg|thumb|right| I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.]]

=== [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] (1982) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_td.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Sat in Your Lap|Sat in Your Lap]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song incorporates a bit of Bush's eccentric wordplay: [[w:Sat (Sanskrit)|Sat]] is a [[w:Hinduism|Hindu]] and [[w:Sikhism|Sikh]] term for [[w:Truth|Truth]], or [[w:Knowledge|Knowledge]] related to the concept of [[w:Dharma#Developing_conceptions|Dharma]].&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Some say that [[knowledge]] is something that you never have. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that knowledge is something sat in your lap. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that [[heaven]] is [[hell]]. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that hell is heaven.'''

* I must admit, just when I think I'm king,
:: I just begin.

* '''I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.'''

'''[[w:There Goes a Tenner|There Goes a Tenner]]'''
[[File:Combinatoria.jpg|thumb|right|The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]…]]

* '''The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]. &lt;br /&gt; The [[signal]] has been [[given]].'''

* My excitement &lt;br /&gt; Turns into fright. &lt;br /&gt; All my words fade. &lt;br /&gt; What am I gonna say? &lt;br /&gt; Mustn't give the game away.

[[File:Mills N° 23 MkIII-2.jpg|thumb|right|Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I [[love]] [[life]]!]]
'''Pull Out The Pin'''

* Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I love life!

* He's big and pink, and not like me. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no light. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no [[reason]] for the [[fighting]]...

[[File:Divina - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].]]
'''[[w:Suspended in Gaffa (song)|Suspended in Gaffa]]'''

* '''Out in the [[garden]] &lt;br /&gt; There's half of a heaven''', &lt;br /&gt; And we're only bluffing. &lt;br /&gt; We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; '''Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].'''

* I don't know why I'm crying. &lt;br /&gt; Am I suspended in Gaffa? &lt;br /&gt; '''Not until I'm ready for you, &lt;br /&gt; Not until I'm ready for you &lt;br /&gt; Can I have it all.'''

* '''I won't open boxes &lt;br /&gt; That I am told not to. &lt;br /&gt; I'm not a Pandora. &lt;br /&gt; I'm much more like &lt;br /&gt; That girl in the mirror.''' &lt;br /&gt; Between you and me &lt;br /&gt; She don't stand a chance of getting anywhere at all.

* Mother, where are the [[angels]]? I'm scared of the changes.
** Whispered in a childlike voice.

'''Leave It Open'''

* '''My [[door]] was never locked, &lt;br /&gt; Until one day a trigger come cocking. &lt;br /&gt; (But now I've started learning how,) &lt;br /&gt; I keep it shut.'''

* Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; Harm in us, but power to arm. &lt;br /&gt; Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; ''Leave it open!''

* '''''We let the weirdness in.'''''
[[File:Australie 2 389.jpg|thumb|right|Coming in with the golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; In the [[morning]]. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.]]
[[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|thumb|See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].]] 
'''[[w:The Dreaming (song)|The Dreaming]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song deals with the Australian traditions of [[w:Dreamtime|&quot;The Dreaming&quot;]] &lt;/small&gt;

* '''''See the [[light]] ram through the gaps in the land.'' &lt;br /&gt; Many an Aborigine's mistaken for a [[tree]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Til you near him on the motorway &lt;br /&gt; And the tree begin to breathe.'''

* ''''Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; In the morning. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.'''

* '''The [[civilised]] keep alive &lt;br /&gt; The territorial [[war]]...''' &lt;br /&gt; Erase the race that claim the place &lt;br /&gt; And say we dig for ore, &lt;br /&gt; Or dangle [[devils]] in a bottle &lt;br /&gt; And push them from the ''pull of the Bush.''

* '''See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].'''

'''[[w:Night of the Swallow (song)|Night Of The Swallow]]'''
[[File:Hirundo rustica young male spring NRM.jpg|thumb|right|In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the [[guilty]] — to set them [[free]].]]

* If you go, I'll let the law know, &lt;br /&gt; And they'll head you off when you touch the ground. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, please, don't go through with this. &lt;br /&gt; I don't like the sound of it.

* '''In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the guilty — to set them free. &lt;br /&gt; Wings fill the window, &lt;br /&gt; And they beat and bleed.''' &lt;br /&gt; They hold the sky on the other side &lt;br /&gt; Of borderlines.

* ''Give me a break! &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, let me try! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to show &lt;br /&gt; For my miserable life! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to take! &lt;br /&gt; Would you break even my wings, &lt;br /&gt; Just like a swallow?''

[[File:Tribute in Light Memorial September 9 2004.jpg|thumb|right| Only tragedy allows the release of [[love]] and [[grief]] never normally seen…]]
'''All The Love'''

* '''We needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love us too. &lt;br /&gt; We wait for your move.'''

* '''Only tragedy allows the release &lt;br /&gt; Of love and grief never normally seen.''' &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weep, &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weak, &lt;br /&gt; But I know I have shown &lt;br /&gt; That I stand at the gates alone.

* '''I needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love me too. &lt;br /&gt; I wait for your move.'''

* '''All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love we should have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love you could have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love...'''

[[File:Weiss with mother and wife.jpg|thumb|right|With a [[kiss]] &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the [[key]] &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.]]
'''Houdini'''

* The tambourine jingle-jangles. &lt;br /&gt; The medium roams and rambles. &lt;br /&gt; Not taken in, &lt;br /&gt; I break the circle. &lt;br /&gt; I want this man &lt;br /&gt; To go away now.

* '''With a kiss &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the key &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.''' &lt;br /&gt; With your spit &lt;br /&gt; Still on my lip, &lt;br /&gt; You hit the water.

* '''Rosabel believe, &lt;br /&gt; Not even eternity &lt;br /&gt; Can hold Houdini! &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Rosabel, believe!&quot; '''

'''Get Out Of My House'''

* I will not let you in. &lt;br /&gt; I face towards the wind. &lt;br /&gt; I change into the Mule.

[[File:Lightning02.jpg|thumb|right| There is [[thunder]] in our [[hearts]]…]]

=== ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' (1985) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_hol.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)]]'''

* '''It doesn't hurt me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to feel how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me.

* '''And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with God, &lt;br /&gt; And I'd get him to swap our places, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that road, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that building.'''

* '''You don't want to hurt me, &lt;br /&gt; But see how deep the bullet lies. &lt;br /&gt; Unaware I'm tearing you asunder. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.'''

* '''Is there so much hate for the ones we love? &lt;br /&gt; Tell me, we both matter, don't we?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me won't be unhappy.

* '''C'mon, baby, c'mon darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let me steal this [[moment]] from you [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; C'mon, [[Angels|angel]], c'mon, c'mon, darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let's exchange the [[experience]], oh...'''

* If I only could &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill &lt;br /&gt; With no problems...

[[File:Muir Wood10.JPG|thumb|right| ''It's in the [[trees]]! It's coming!'']]
'''[[w:Hounds of Love (song)|Hounds Of Love]]'''

* ''It's in the trees! &lt;br /&gt; It's coming!''

* I found a [[fox]] &lt;br /&gt; Caught by [[dogs]]. &lt;br /&gt; He let me take him in my [[hands]]. &lt;br /&gt; His little [[heart]], &lt;br /&gt; It beats so fast, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm ashamed of running away &lt;br /&gt; From nothing real — &lt;br /&gt; I just can't deal with this, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm still afraid to be there, &lt;br /&gt; Among your hounds of [[love]]...

* '''Do you know what I really need? &lt;br /&gt; I need love love love love love, yeah!'''

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right| They look down at the ground, missing. But I never go in [[now]]. I'm looking at the Big [[Sky]]…]]
'''[[w:The Big Sky (song)|The Big Sky]] '''

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|You never really [[understood]] me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.]]
* '''They look down &lt;br /&gt; At the ground, &lt;br /&gt; Missing. &lt;br /&gt; But I never go in [[now]].''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm looking at the Big Sky.

* '''You never really understood me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.'''

* This [[cloud]], this cloud — &lt;br /&gt; Says &quot;Noah, &lt;br /&gt; C'mon and build me an Ark.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And if you're coming, jump, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause &lt;br /&gt; We're leaving with the Big Sky.

'''Mother Stands For Comfort'''

* She knows that I've been doing something wrong, &lt;br /&gt; But she won't say anything.

* Am I the cat that takes the bird? &lt;br /&gt; To her the hunted, not the hunter.

* Mother stands for comfort. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will hide the murderer. &lt;br /&gt; Mother hides the madman. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will stay mum.

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen…]]
'''[[w:Cloudbusting|Cloudbusting]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song is sung from the perspective of [[Wilhelm Reich]]'s son Peter, whose memoir ''A Book of Dreams'' inspired it.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I still dream of Orgonon.''' &lt;br /&gt; I wake up crying. &lt;br /&gt; You're making rain, &lt;br /&gt; And you're just in reach, &lt;br /&gt; When you and sleep escape me.

* '''I just know that something good is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen.'''

* '''On top of the world, &lt;br /&gt; Looking over the edge, &lt;br /&gt; You could see them coming.''' &lt;br /&gt; You looked too small &lt;br /&gt; In their big, black car, &lt;br /&gt; To be a threat to the men in power.'''

* I hid my yo-yo &lt;br /&gt; In the garden. &lt;br /&gt; I can't hide you &lt;br /&gt; From the government. &lt;br /&gt; Oh, God, Daddy — &lt;br /&gt; I won't forget...

[[File:Aivazovsky,_Ivan_-_The_Ninth_Wave.jpg|thumb|right|Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.]] 
[[File:PortoCovoJan07-4.jpg|thumb|right|If they find me racing [[wikt:white horse|white horses]], they'll not take me for a buoy…]]
==== The Ninth Wave ====

'''And Dream Of Sheep'''

* '''Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.''' &lt;br /&gt; My [[face]] is all lit up, &lt;br /&gt; My face is all lit up.

* '''If they find me racing [[wikt:white horses|white horses]], &lt;br /&gt; They'll not take me for a buoy.''' &lt;br /&gt; Let me be weak, &lt;br /&gt; Let me [[sleep]] &lt;br /&gt; And [[dream]] of [[sheep]].

* Ooh, their breath is warm &lt;br /&gt; And they smell like sleep, &lt;br /&gt; And they say they take me home. &lt;br /&gt; Like poppies heavy with seed &lt;br /&gt; They take me deeper and deeper.

'''Under Ice'''

* '''There's something moving &lt;br /&gt; Under, under the ice, &lt;br /&gt; Moving under ice, &lt;br /&gt; Through water, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get out of the cold water.''' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Something, someone — help them. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot;

[[File:Wickiana4.jpg|thumb|right|[[Look]] who's here to see you!]]
[[File:Joan of arc interrogation.jpg|thumb|right|''I question your [[innocence]]…'']]
'''Waking The Witch'''

* '''Wake up!'''...''You must wake up!''

* &quot;Don't you know you've kept him waiting?&quot; &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Look who's here to see you!&quot;

* ''I question your [[innocence]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird! &lt;br /&gt; ''She's a [[witch]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; There's a stone around my leg.

* ''What say you, good people?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird...

* &quot;Get out of the waves! Get out of the water!&quot;

'''Watching You Without Me'''

* '''You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying to you.'''

* I should have been home &lt;br /&gt; Hours ago, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here...

[[File:G W Russell Bathers.jpg|thumb|Can't you [[see]] where [[memories]] are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the [[water]] like a [[laughing]] girl. &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] in her [[eyes]] is spawning [[past]] [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; One with the [[ocean]] and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding [[all]] the [[love]] that waits for you here. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
'''Jig Of Life'''
:&lt;small&gt;Co-written with her brother [[John Carder Bush]] &lt;/small&gt; 
[[File:Boelge stor.jpg|thumb|right|Catch us [[now]] for I am your [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; A [[kiss]] on the [[wind]] and we'll make the land. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
[[File:Waves forming at beach.jpg|thumb|right|For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will [[dance]] with me in the sunlit pools. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]]

* '''I'll be sitting in your [[mirror]]. &lt;br /&gt; [[Now]] is the place where the crossroads meet. &lt;br /&gt; Will you look into the [[future]]?'''

* Never, never say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To my part of your life.

* '''&quot;This [[moment]] in time,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said.) &lt;br /&gt; It doesn't belong to you,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said,) &lt;br /&gt; It belongs to me''', &lt;br /&gt; And your little boy and your little girl, &lt;br /&gt; And the one hand clapping: &lt;br /&gt; Where on your palm is my little line, &lt;br /&gt; When you're written in mine &lt;br /&gt; As an old memory?

* Can't you see where memories are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the water like a laughing girl. &lt;br /&gt; Time in her eyes is spawning past life, &lt;br /&gt; One with the ocean and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding all the love that waits for you here. &lt;br /&gt; Catch us [[now]] for I am your future. &lt;br /&gt; A kiss on the wind and we'll make the land. &lt;br /&gt; Come over here to where When lingers, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting in this empty world, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting for Then, when the lifespray cools. &lt;br /&gt; '''For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will dance with me in the sunlit pools. &lt;br /&gt; We are of the going water and the gone. &lt;br /&gt; We are of water in the holy land of water &lt;br /&gt; And all that's to come runs in &lt;br /&gt; With the thrust on the strand.'''
** This is the portion of &quot;Jig of Life&quot; which was actually written as well as spoken by Kate's brother [[John Carder Bush]].

[[File:Shelfcloud.jpg|thumb|right|I was there at the [[birth]], Out of the cloudburst, The head of the [[tempest]]…]]
'''Hello Earth'''

* Watching [[storms]] &lt;br /&gt; Start to form &lt;br /&gt; Over [[America]]. &lt;br /&gt; Can't do anything. &lt;br /&gt; Just watch them swing &lt;br /&gt; With the [[wind]] &lt;br /&gt; Out to [[sea]].

* '''I was there at the [[birth]], &lt;br /&gt; Out of the cloudburst, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[tempest]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Murderer! &lt;br /&gt; Murder of calm...

[[File:Iridescent fog.jpg|thumb|right|The [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Begin]] to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to [[speak]].]]
[[File:Fog over Baffin Bay IMG 9533.jpg|thumb|right| D'you [[know]] what? &lt;br /&gt; I [[love]] you better [[now]].]]
'''The Morning Fog'''

* '''The light &lt;br /&gt; Begin to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to speak. &lt;br /&gt; D'you know what? &lt;br /&gt; I love you better now.'''

* '''I'll kiss the ground.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my mother, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my father, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my loved one, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my brothers &lt;br /&gt; How much I love them.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Dawn (1881).jpg|thumb|right| Stepping out… To where the [[water]] and the [[earth]] caress…]]

=== ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' (1989) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tsw.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''The Sensual World'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJc64xncBt4 Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''He said I was a flower of the mountain, yes, &lt;br /&gt; But now I've powers o'er a woman's body, yes. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out of the page into the sensual world. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out... &lt;br /&gt; To where the water and the earth caress &lt;br /&gt; And the down on a peach says mmh, Yes...'''
** &quot;The Sensual World&quot;; The lyrics of this song are derived from the last lines of ''[[Ulysses (novel)|Ulysses]]'' by [[James Joyce]]. Kate had initially wanted to set much of Molly Bloom's Soliloquy to music, just as Joyce had written it, but when the Joyce estate refused, she altered it enough as to not infringe on copyright. As she explained it in an interview: &quot;The song was saying''' &quot;Yes, Yes&quot; '''and when I asked for permission they said''' &quot;No! No!&quot;.'''

[[File:Sunset Solar Halo at Keys View of Joshua Tree National Park.jpg|thumb|right|Do I look for those millionaires like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would when I could wear the sunset?]]
* Do I look for those millionaires &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would &lt;br /&gt; When I could wear the sunset?

* '''You don't need [[words]] — just one [[kiss]], then another.'''

* '''Stepping out, off the page, into the sensual world.''' &lt;br /&gt; And then our arrows of [[desire]] rewrite the [[speech]]...

* I said, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; But not yet, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; Mmh... Yes.

'''[[w:Love and Anger|Love and Anger]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ipM__nt8fM Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''It lay buried here. It lay deep inside me. &lt;br /&gt; It's so deep I don't think that I can [[speak]] about it. &lt;br /&gt; It could take me [[all]] of my [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; But it would only take a [[moment]] to &lt;br /&gt; Tell you what I'm [[feeling]], &lt;br /&gt; But I don't [[know]] if I'm ready yet. '''

* '''Take away the [[love]] and the [[anger]], &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of [[hope]] holding us together. &lt;br /&gt; Looking for a [[moment]] that'll never happen, &lt;br /&gt; [[Living]] in the gap between [[past]] and [[future]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Take away the [[stone]] and the timber, &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of rope won't hold it together.

* If you can't tell your sister, &lt;br /&gt; If you can't tell a priest, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause it's so deep you don't think that you can speak about it &lt;br /&gt; To anyone, &lt;br /&gt; Can you tell it to your [[heart]]? &lt;br /&gt; Can you find it in your heart &lt;br /&gt; To let go of these feelings...

* We could be like two strings beating, &lt;br /&gt; Speaking in [[sympathy]]...

* We're building a house of the future together. &lt;br /&gt; (What would we do without you?)

* You might not, not think so now, &lt;br /&gt; But just you wait and see — someone will come to [[help]] you.

[[File:Fog-towerbridge.700px.jpg|thumb|right| I can't let you go. If I let you go, you slip into the fog…]]
'''The Fog'''

* '''Just like a photograph, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up. &lt;br /&gt; Just like a station on the radio, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up.'''

* Just like a feeling that you're sending out, &lt;br /&gt; I pick it up. &lt;br /&gt; But I can't let you go. &lt;br /&gt; '''If I let you go, &lt;br /&gt; You slip into the fog...'''

* '''This love was big enough for the both of us. &lt;br /&gt; This love of yours was big enough to be frightened of. &lt;br /&gt; It's deep and dark, like the water was, &lt;br /&gt; The day I learned to swim.'''

* '''Is this love big enough to watch over me? &lt;br /&gt; Big enough to let go of me &lt;br /&gt; Without hurting me, &lt;br /&gt; Like the day I learned to swim?'''

'''Reaching Out'''

:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Be_ITyTMzc YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''See how the [[child]] reaches out [[instinctively]] &lt;br /&gt; To [[feel]] how [[fire]] will feel. &lt;br /&gt; See how the man reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For what he cannot have.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''The pull and the push of it [[all]].''

* Reaching out for that hand to hold. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star that explodes. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for Mama.

* See how the [[flower]] leans instinctively &lt;br /&gt; Toward the [[light]]. &lt;br /&gt; See how the [[heart]] reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For no [[reason]] but to [[touch]]...

'''Heads We're Dancing'''
[[File:Jane Kelly. Psychosis 1.jpg|thumb|You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started…]]
[[File:Hitler, Speer y Breker en París, 23 de junio de 1940.jpg|thumb|Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] ]]

* You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started, &lt;br /&gt; When you walked up to me and you said, &lt;br /&gt;&quot;Hey, heads we dance.&quot;
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9NaEOoOLU4 Audio at YouTube]

* They say that the [[Devil]] is a charming man. &lt;br /&gt; And just like you I bet he can [[dance]].

* Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; A picture of you, a picture of you in uniform &lt;br /&gt; Standing with your head held high &lt;br /&gt; Hot down to the floor but it couldn't be you &lt;br /&gt; It couldn't be you, it's a picture of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]

[[File:Imac G5 20inch.jpg|thumb|right|I [[need]] deeper [[understanding]]. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding…]]
'''Deeper Understanding'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wDDxM1F4xY YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''As the people here grow colder I turn to my [[computer]] &lt;br /&gt; And spend my evenings with it &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[friend]]. '''

* ''Hello, I know that you've been feeling tired. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Hello, I know that you're unhappy. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding….''

* I turn to my computer like a friend. &lt;br /&gt; '''I need deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding...'''

'''Between A Man And A Woman'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orBTGQep1Ts YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Picture couple pregnant woman.jpg|thumb|right|He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the [[truth]] lies somewhere in the middle.]]

* He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

* '''Where [[angels]] fear to tread, &lt;br /&gt; You go rushing in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Stay out of this &lt;br /&gt; You must not interfere &lt;br /&gt; Don't you see this is &lt;br /&gt; Between a man and a woman?

'''Never Be Mine'''

* I look at you and see &lt;br /&gt; my life that might have been &lt;br /&gt; your face just ghostly in the smoke. &lt;br /&gt; They're setting fire to the cornfields &lt;br /&gt; as you're taking me home. &lt;br /&gt; The smell of burning fields &lt;br /&gt; will now mean you and here.

* '''This is where I want to be. &lt;br /&gt; This is what I need. &lt;br /&gt; This is where I want to be, &lt;br /&gt; But I know that this will never be mine.'''

* I want you as the [[dream]], &lt;br /&gt; Not the [[reality]]. &lt;br /&gt; That clumsy good-bye [[kiss]] could fool me. &lt;br /&gt; But looking back over my shoulder &lt;br /&gt; at you [[happy]] without me.

* The thrill and the hurting &lt;br /&gt; Will never be mine.

'''Rocket's Tail'''
[[File:010712 STS104 Atlantis launch glow.jpg|thumb|right|I saw only a stick on [[fire]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Alone]] on its [[journey]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Home]] to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.]]

* I thought you were crazy, wishing such a thing. &lt;br /&gt; I saw only a stick on fire, &lt;br /&gt; Alone on its journey &lt;br /&gt; Home to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.

* I am a rocket &lt;br /&gt; On fire. &lt;br /&gt; Look at me go, with my tail on fire...

'''This Woman's Work'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TupvVpxY_U Video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I know you have a little [[life]] in you yet. &lt;br /&gt; I know you have a lot of [[strength]] left.'''

* '''I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. &lt;br /&gt; I should be [[hoping]], but I can't stop thinking &lt;br /&gt; Of all the things I should've said, &lt;br /&gt; That I never said. &lt;br /&gt; All the things we should've done, &lt;br /&gt; That we never did. &lt;br /&gt; All the things I should've [[given]], &lt;br /&gt; But I didn't.'''

'''Walk Straight Down The Middle'''

* We're calling out for Middle Street.

* '''We hang on to every line, &lt;br /&gt; And walk straight down the middle of it.'''

* He thought he was gonna [[die]], &lt;br /&gt; But he didn't. &lt;br /&gt; She thought she just couldn't cope, &lt;br /&gt; But she did. &lt;br /&gt; '''We thought it would be so hard, &lt;br /&gt; But it wasn't... &lt;br /&gt; It wasn't easy, though!'''

=== ''[[w:The Red Shoes (album)|The Red Shoes]]'' (1993) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_trs.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Rubberband Girl|Rubberband Girl]]'''

* '''See those [[trees]] &lt;br /&gt; Bend in the wind &lt;br /&gt; I feel they've got a lot more sense than me &lt;br /&gt; You see I try to resist...'''

* A rubberband bouncing back to life &lt;br /&gt; A rubberband bend the beat &lt;br /&gt; If I could learn to give like a rubberband &lt;br /&gt; I'd be back on my feet...


'''[[w:And So Is Love|And So Is Love]]''' - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLHLPbEQ-hE Performance on ''Top of the Pops'' (1994)] 

* '''We let it in &lt;br /&gt; We give it out &lt;br /&gt; And in the end &lt;br /&gt; What's it all about? &lt;br /&gt; It must be love.'''

* '''We used to say &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ah Hell, we're young&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But now we see that life is sad &lt;br /&gt; ''And so is love.'' '''

* What really matters? &lt;br /&gt; It's all we've got &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that enough?

* '''All for love &lt;br /&gt; Just for the sake of love.'''

[[File:Pomegranate02 edit.jpg|thumb|right| What am I singing? A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].]]
'''[[w:Eat the Music|Eat the Music]]'''

* '''Split me open &lt;br /&gt; With devotion &lt;br /&gt; You put your hands in &lt;br /&gt; And rip my heart out &lt;br /&gt; ''Eat the music.'' '''

* [[All]] is revealed &lt;br /&gt; Not only women bleed.

* '''What am I singing? &lt;br /&gt; A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].'''

'''[[w:Moments of Pleasure|Moments of Pleasure]]'''

* I think about us diving &lt;br /&gt; Diving off a rock, into another moment...

*&lt;p&gt;'''Just being alive &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt &lt;br /&gt; These moments given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]].'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we love &lt;br /&gt; To those who will survive...'''&lt;/p&gt;

* And I can hear my mother saying &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Every old sock meets an old shoe&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that a great saying?

* Here come the Hills of Time

'''Song of Solomon'''

* '''The [[Song]] of [[Solomon]] &lt;br /&gt; The song of everyone &lt;br /&gt; Who walks the path &lt;br /&gt; Of the solitary [[heart]].'''

* '''The [[soul]] cries out &lt;br /&gt; Hear a [[woman]] singing &lt;br /&gt; Don't want your bullshit, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Just want your [[sexuality]]. &lt;br /&gt; Don't want excuses, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Write me your [[poetry]] in motion &lt;br /&gt; Write it just for me, yeah &lt;br /&gt; And sign it with a [[kiss]].

* I'll do it for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll be the [[w:Rose of Sharon|Rose of Sharon]] for you &lt;br /&gt; Ooh I'll come in a [[hurricane]] for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll do it for you...

[[File:The Golden Bough - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]]…]]
[[File:Franz von Stuck 003.jpg|thumb|right| Gabriel before me, Raphael behind me, [[Michael (archangel)|Michael]] to my right, Uriel on my left side… In the [[circle]] of [[fire]]…]]
'''Lily'''

* ''Oh thou, who givest sustenance to the [[universe]] &lt;br /&gt; From whom all things proceed &lt;br /&gt; To whom all things return &lt;br /&gt; Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]] &lt;br /&gt; As we journey to thy sacred feet''
** Recited by &quot;Lily&quot;

* I said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Lily, Oh Lily I'm so afraid &lt;br /&gt; I fear I am walking in the Veil of Darkness&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And she said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Child, take what I say &lt;br /&gt; With a pinch of salt &lt;br /&gt; And protect yourself with fire&quot;

* Gabriel before me &lt;br /&gt; Raphael behind me &lt;br /&gt; [[Michael (archangel)]] to my right &lt;br /&gt; Uriel on my left side &lt;br /&gt; In the [[circle]] of [[fire]].

'''[[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]]'''
[[File:Solistin Jovana Ivanovic.jpg|thumb|right|She said &quot;just take off my red shoes &lt;br /&gt; Put them on and your [[dream]]'ll come [[true]]…]]

* '''With no [[words]], with no [[song]] &lt;br /&gt; You can [[dance]] the [[dream]] with your body on &lt;br /&gt; And this curve, is your [[smile]] &lt;br /&gt; And this cross, is your [[heart]] &lt;br /&gt; And this line, is your path &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always thought it would be &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be no illusion &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always dreamt about it &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be really happening to ya...'''

* Feel your hair come tumbling down &lt;br /&gt; Feel your feet start kissing the ground &lt;br /&gt; Feel your arms are opening out &lt;br /&gt; And see your eyes are lifted to [[God]] &lt;br /&gt; '''With no words, with no song &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna dance the dream &lt;br /&gt; And make the dream come true...'''

[[File:St Michael Berlin Engel Statue Kiss.JPG|thumb|right| I don't [[know]] if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there…]]
'''Top of the City'''

* '''I don't know if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there.''' &lt;br /&gt; These streets have never been paved with gold.

* It's no good for you baby &lt;br /&gt; It's no good for you now &lt;br /&gt; Keep looking up for the ladder.

* I don't mind if it's dangerous &lt;br /&gt; I don't mind if it's raining &lt;br /&gt; Take me up to the top of the city &lt;br /&gt; And put me up on the [[Angels|angel]]'s shoulders.

'''Constellation of the Heart'''
[[File:Herz aus Feuer.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]] &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the [[heart]].]]

* We take all the telescopes &lt;br /&gt; And we turn them inside out &lt;br /&gt; And we point them away from the big [[sky]]. &lt;br /&gt; Put your eye right up to the glass. &lt;br /&gt; Here we'll find the constellation of the [[heart]]. &lt;br /&gt; '''Steer your [[life]] by these [[stars]] &lt;br /&gt; On the unconditional [[chance]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]]. &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the heart.'''

* Well we think you'd better wake up capt'n &lt;br /&gt; There's something happen'n up ahead &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it before.

* Who said anything about it hurting? &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be beautiful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be wonderful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be paradise. 

* Ooh find me the man with the ladder &lt;br /&gt; And he might lift me up to the stars. 

* ''Without the pain there'd be no learning &lt;br /&gt; Without the hurting we'd never change.''

'''Big Stripey Lie'''
[[File:Louvre renommée mr1824.jpg|thumb|right|Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.]]

* '''All young gentle dreams drowning &lt;br /&gt; In life's grief &lt;br /&gt; Can you hang on to me?'''

* '''Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to. &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.'''

* Hey all you little waves run away. &lt;br /&gt; Mmm... run away.

'''Why Should I Love You?'''
[[File:Vittore Carpaccio 075.jpg|thumb|right|Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.]]

* This chapter says &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Put it out of your mind&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, give it time....

* The fine purple &lt;br /&gt; The purest gold &lt;br /&gt; The red of the Sacred Heart &lt;br /&gt; The grey of a ghost &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;L&quot; of the lips are open &lt;br /&gt; To the &quot;O&quot; of the Host &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;V&quot; of the velvet &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;E&quot; of my eye &lt;br /&gt; '''The eye in wonder &lt;br /&gt; The eye that sees &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;I&quot; that loves you.'''

* Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.

'''You're the One'''

* '''Let's [[change]] things. &lt;br /&gt; Let's danger it up. &lt;br /&gt; We're [[crazy]] enough. &lt;br /&gt; I just can't take it.

* You're the only one I want...

* I know where I'm going. &lt;br /&gt; But I don't want to leave. &lt;br /&gt; I just have one problem &lt;br /&gt; We're best friends, yeah? &lt;br /&gt; We tied ourselves in knots &lt;br /&gt; Doing cartwheels 'cross the floor &lt;br /&gt; Just forget it alright.

=== ''[[w:Aerial (album)|Aerial]]'' (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_aerial.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

==== A Sea of Honey (Disc 1) ====
[[File:Elvis Presley 1970.jpg|thumb|right|[[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a [[happy]] man?]]
'''[[w:King of the Mountain (song)|King of the Mountain]]'''

* '''Could you see the aisles of women? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see them screaming and weeping? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the [[storm]] rising? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the guy who was driving? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb higher and higher? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb right over the top?'''

* [[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a happy man? &lt;br /&gt; In the snow with ''[[w:Citizen_Kane#.22Rosebud.22|Rosebud|]]'' &lt;br /&gt; And King of the Mountain.

* Another Hollywood waitress &lt;br /&gt; Is telling us she's having your baby &lt;br /&gt; And there's a rumour that you're on ice &lt;br /&gt; And you will rise again someday. '''

[[File:PP 1280x1024.jpg|thumb|right|Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive [[nature]] and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For [[numbers]]…]]
'''π'''

* '''Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive nature and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For numbers &lt;br /&gt; And a complete infatuation with the calculation &lt;br /&gt; Of π.'''

[[File:Pi-unrolled slow.gif|thumb|right|He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]]…]]
* He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]] &lt;br /&gt; 3.14159 26535897932 3846 264 338 3279...

'''Bertie'''

* '''Here comes the sunshine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes that son of mine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes the everything &lt;br /&gt; Here's a song and a song for him.

* You bring me so much joy &lt;br /&gt; And then you bring me &lt;br /&gt; More joy...

'''Mrs. Bartolozzi'''

* Oh and the waves are going out &lt;br /&gt; Oh and the waves are coming in &lt;br /&gt; Out of the corner of my eye &lt;br /&gt; I think I see you standing outside &lt;br /&gt; But it's just your shirt &lt;br /&gt; Hanging on the washing line &lt;br /&gt; Waving it's arm as the wind blows by &lt;br /&gt; And it looks so alive &lt;br /&gt; Nice and white &lt;br /&gt; Just like it's climbed right out &lt;br /&gt; of my washing machine...

'''How To Be Invisible'''

* '''I found a book on how to be invisible &lt;br /&gt; You take a pinch of keyhole, &lt;br /&gt; And fold yourself up, &lt;br /&gt; You cut along the dotted lines. &lt;br /&gt; You think inside out. &lt;br /&gt; You're invisible.'''

[[File:Joan-of-Arc-Paris.jpg|thumb|right| [[Joan of Arc|Joanni]] wears a golden cross and she looks so [[beautiful]] in her armour…]]
'''[[Joan of Arc|Joanni]]'''

* '''All the banners stop waving &lt;br /&gt; And the flags stop flying &lt;br /&gt; And the silence comes over &lt;br /&gt; Thousands of soldiers...'''

* '''Who is that girl? Do I know her face?'''

* Joanni, Joanni wears a golden cross &lt;br /&gt; And she looks so beautiful in her armour &lt;br /&gt; Joanni, Joanni blows a kiss to God &lt;br /&gt; And she never wears a ring on her finger...

'''A Coral Room'''

* There's a city, draped in net &lt;br /&gt; Fisherman net &lt;br /&gt; And in the half light, in the half light &lt;br /&gt; It looks like every tower &lt;br /&gt; Is covered in webs &lt;br /&gt; Moving and glistening and rocking &lt;br /&gt; It's babies in rhythm &lt;br /&gt; As the spider of time is climbing &lt;br /&gt; Over the ruins.

* Put your hand over the side of the boat &lt;br /&gt; What do you feel?

* My mother and her little brown jug &lt;br /&gt; It held her milk &lt;br /&gt; And now it holds our memories...

==== A Sky of Honey (Disc 2) ====
[[File:Sturnella neglecta2.jpg|thumb|right|We're gonna be [[laughing]] about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be [[dancing]] around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so [[good]] [[now]].]]

'''Prelude'''

* Mummy... &lt;br /&gt; Daddy... &lt;br /&gt; The day is full of birds &lt;br /&gt; Sounds like they're saying words...
** Spoken by Bush's son, Berty.

'''Prologue'''

* We're gonna be laughing about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be dancing around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good now.

* It's gonna be so good now &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good &lt;br /&gt; Can you see the lark ascending?

* Oh will you come with us &lt;br /&gt; To find the song of the oil and the brush?

'''An Architect's Dream'''
[[File:Psyche et LAmour.jpg|thumb|right|Watching the painter [[painting]] &lt;br /&gt; And all the [[time]], the [[light]] is [[changing]] &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting…]]

* Watching the painter painting &lt;br /&gt; And all the time, the light is changing &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting &lt;br /&gt; That bit there, it was an accident &lt;br /&gt; But he's so pleased &lt;br /&gt; It's the best mistake, he could make &lt;br /&gt; And it's my favourite piece. &lt;br /&gt; It's just great.

'''The Painter's Link'''
[[File:Blackbird-sunset-03.jpg|thumb|right|Who [[knows]] who wrote that [[song]] of [[summer]], &lt;br /&gt; That [[blackbirds]] [[sing]] at dusk…]]

* So all the colours run &lt;br /&gt; See what they have become &lt;br /&gt; A wonderful sunset

'''Sunset'''

* '''Who knows who wrote that song of summer, &lt;br /&gt; That blackbirds sing at dusk, &lt;br /&gt; This is a song of colour, &lt;br /&gt; Where sands sing in crimson, red and rust, &lt;br /&gt; Then climb into bed and turn to dust. '''

* Every sleepy light &lt;br /&gt; Must say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To the day before it dies &lt;br /&gt; In a sea of honey &lt;br /&gt; A sky of honey &lt;br /&gt; Keep us close to your heart &lt;br /&gt; So if the skies turn dark &lt;br /&gt; We may live on in &lt;br /&gt; Comets and stars.

'''Somewhere In Between'''

* '''It was just so beautiful. 

* '''This is where the shadows come to play twixt the day &lt;br /&gt; And night &lt;br /&gt; Dancing and skipping &lt;br /&gt; Along a chink of light

* Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The waxing and the waning wave &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; What the song and the silence says &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The ticking and the tocking clock &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in a dream between &lt;br /&gt; Sleep and waking up &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; Breathing out and breathing in &lt;br /&gt; Like twilight is neither night nor morning

* Not one of us would dare to break &lt;br /&gt; The silence &lt;br /&gt; And, oh how we have longed &lt;br /&gt; For something that would &lt;br /&gt; Make us feel so...

'''Nocturn'''


* Could be in a dream &lt;br /&gt; Our clothes are on the beach &lt;br /&gt; These prints of our feet &lt;br /&gt; Lead right up to the sea &lt;br /&gt; No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; '''No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; We stand in the Atlantic &lt;br /&gt; We become panoramic...'''

* The stars are caught in our hair &lt;br /&gt; The stars are on our fingers &lt;br /&gt; A veil of diamond dust &lt;br /&gt; Just reach up and touch it &lt;br /&gt; '''The sky's above our heads &lt;br /&gt; The sea's around our legs &lt;br /&gt; In milky, silky water &lt;br /&gt; We swim further and further...'''

[[File:Sunrise-Daytona-Beach-FL.jpg|thumb|right|Oh the [[dawn]] has come &lt;br /&gt; And the [[song]] must be [[sung]] &lt;br /&gt; And the [[flowers]] are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of [[language]] is this?]]
* We dive deeper and deeper &lt;br /&gt; Could be we are here &lt;br /&gt; Could be in my [[dream]] &lt;br /&gt; It came up on the horizon &lt;br /&gt; Rising and rising &lt;br /&gt; In a [[sea]] of honey, a [[sky]] of honey.

[[File:SwansCygnus olor edit2.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] of the [[birds]] are [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.]]
* Bright, white coming alive jumping off of the aerial &lt;br /&gt; All the time it's a changing, like now...

* '''All the time it's a changing &lt;br /&gt; And all the dreamers are waking.'''

'''Aerial'''

* '''Oh the dawn has come &lt;br /&gt; And the song must be sung &lt;br /&gt; And the flowers are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of language is this?'''

* I can't hear a word you're saying &lt;br /&gt; Tell me what are you singing &lt;br /&gt; In the sun

* '''All of the birds are laughing &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.'''

=== ''[[w:50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'' (2011) ===
[[File:Metatrons cube.svg|thumb|right|I was born in a cloud… &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.]]
[[File:Heart in snow.jpg|thumb|right|We've been in love forever.]]&lt;!-- [[File:Ka symbol.svg|thumb|right|Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.]] --&gt;
[[File:Cloches du soir.jpg|thumb|right|I can see [[angels]] standing around you. &lt;br /&gt; 
They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it.]]
[[File:Sq door handle.jpg|thumb|right| There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.]]

'''Snowflake''' 

* '''I was born in a cloud... &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Look up and you'll see me. &lt;br /&gt; You know you can hear me. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

* '''I am ice and dust. I am sky.''' &lt;br /&gt; I can see horses wading through snowdrifts. &lt;br /&gt; My broken hearts, my fabulous dances. &lt;br /&gt; My fleeting song, fleeting. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

'''[[w:Wild Man (Kate Bush song)|Wild Man]]'''

* Lying in my tent &lt;br /&gt; I can hear your cry &lt;br /&gt; Echoing round the mountainside &lt;br /&gt; You sound lonely

* [[w:Yeti|You]] were [[playing]] in the [[snow]] &lt;br /&gt; You were banging on the [[doors]] &lt;br /&gt; You climbed up on the roof &lt;br /&gt; Roof of the [[world]] &lt;br /&gt; You were pulling up the rhododendrons &lt;br /&gt; Loping down the mountain &lt;p&gt; They want to know you &lt;br /&gt; They will hunt you down &lt;br /&gt; Then they will kill you &lt;br /&gt; Run away, run away... &lt;p&gt; We found your footprints in the snow &lt;br /&gt; We brushed them all away... &lt;p&gt; You're the [[wild]] man.
'''Snowed In at Wheeler Street'''

* Excuse me I'm sorry to bother you, &lt;br /&gt; But don't I know you? &lt;br /&gt; There's just something about you. &lt;br /&gt; Haven't we met before? &lt;p&gt; '''We've been in love forever.'''

* When we got on top of the hill, &lt;br /&gt; We saw Rome burning. &lt;br /&gt; I just let you walk away. &lt;br /&gt; I've never forgiven myself.

* And I'd never know where you'd gonna be next &lt;br /&gt; But I'd know that you'd surprise me. 

'''Among Angels''' 

* Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.

* '''Aren't we all the same? In and out of doubt. &lt;br /&gt; I can see [[angels]] standing around you.''' &lt;br /&gt; They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it. &lt;br /&gt; And they will carry you o'er the walls. &lt;br /&gt; If you need us, just call.

* '''There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.''' &lt;br /&gt; You might feel it and just not show it.

=== Singles and rarities ===

[[File:Mourning angel.jpg|thumb| [[All]] the [[worlds]] they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier…]]
'''Disbelieving Angel''' (unreleased demo, c. 1973)
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/song/tda.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''So much for all the [[prayers]] you've [[learned]]. &lt;br /&gt; They are no help to basic needs. &lt;br /&gt; And all the worlds they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier.'''

* I feel so sorry for you, &lt;br /&gt; Believing because they control. &lt;br /&gt; And of all the guardian [[angels]] &lt;br /&gt; They chose me to save your soul! &lt;br /&gt; '''Oh, I'm just trying to explain, &lt;br /&gt; I'm a disbelieving angel.'''

'''Passing Through Air''' (1978)

* '''Passing through [[air]]. &lt;br /&gt; You mix the [[stars]] with your arms.''' &lt;br /&gt; Walking through there. &lt;br /&gt; The [[doom]] of [[eternity]] balms. &lt;br /&gt; [[Skies]] of grey are not today.

* Oh! Don't you throw my [[love]] away, &lt;br /&gt; I need your loving, I need your loving...

''' The Magician''' (1979)

* '''When you reach for a [[Stars|star]] &lt;br /&gt; Only [[angels]] are there &lt;br /&gt; And it's not very far &lt;br /&gt; Just a step on a stair &lt;br /&gt; Take a look at those [[clowns]] &lt;br /&gt; And the tricks that they play &lt;br /&gt; In the circus of life &lt;br /&gt; Life is bitter and gay &lt;p&gt; There are clowns in the night &lt;br /&gt; Clowns everywhere &lt;br /&gt; See how they run &lt;br /&gt; Run from despair ...
** This was a song written for the soundtrack of ''[[w:The Magician of Lublin (film)|The Magician of Lublin]]'' (1979), based on the 1960 novel by [[Isaac Bashevis Singer]]; Kate's singing of it appears at times in the background within the film - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkfbkVKmbG0 YouTube video] 

* When the [[fantasy]] bells &lt;br /&gt; Of the [[universe]] ring &lt;br /&gt; You can fly through the [[sky]] &lt;br /&gt; On a dragonfly's wing. &lt;br /&gt; '''There is [[magic]] within &lt;br /&gt; There is magic without &lt;br /&gt; Follow me and you'll learn &lt;br /&gt; Just what life's all about.'''

'''[[w:December Will Be Magic Again|December Will Be Magic Again]]''' (1980)

* ''[[December]] will be [[magic]] again.'' &lt;br /&gt; Take a husky to the ice &lt;br /&gt; While [[w:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]] sings [[w:White Christmas (song)|White Christmas]]. &lt;br /&gt; He makes you feel nice. &lt;br /&gt; '''December will be magic again.'''

* See how I fall like the snow, &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the lovers, &lt;br /&gt; (But don't you wake them up) &lt;br /&gt; Come to sparkle the dark up, &lt;br /&gt; With just a touch of make up. &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the muck up. &lt;br /&gt; ''' Ooh with a little luck — &lt;br /&gt; December will be magic again. '''

* December will be magic again. &lt;br /&gt; Don't miss the brightest star, &lt;br /&gt; Kiss under mistletoe, &lt;br /&gt; '''I want to hear you laugh, &lt;br /&gt; Don't let the mystery go now.'''

[[File:Rosa sp.181.jpg|thumb|Go right to the [[rose]]. Go right to the white rose …]]
'''Warm And Soothing''' (1980)

* Warm and soothing &lt;br /&gt; That's how I remember home. &lt;br /&gt; Walking into arms through the back door &lt;br /&gt; Hearing voices I know well and long for.

* I'm reeling in the music, &lt;br /&gt; And I've only had a few... &lt;br /&gt; And I'm afraid by the way we grow old... &lt;br /&gt; My darling...

'''Under the Ivy''' (1985)
[[File:Efeu Blatt.JPG|thumb| It's not easy for me to give away a [[secret]] — It's not [[safe]]…]]
* '''This little girl inside me &lt;br /&gt; Is retreating to her favourite place. &lt;br /&gt; Go into the garden. &lt;br /&gt; Go under the ivy, &lt;br /&gt; Under the leaves, &lt;br /&gt; Away from the party. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the rose. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the white rose &lt;br /&gt; (For me.)'''

* ''' It's not easy for me &lt;br /&gt; To give away a secret — &lt;br /&gt; It's not safe...'''

[[File:Joseph Mallord William Turner, English - The Burning of the Houses of Lords and Commons, October 16, 1834 - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb| As we cross the [[bridge]] — the burning bridge — With [[flames]] behind us, We front the line. It's you and me, baby, against the [[world]].]]
'''Burning Bridge''' (1985)
* ''' I know it works for me. &lt;br /&gt; As we cross the bridge — the burning bridge — &lt;br /&gt; With flames behind us, &lt;br /&gt; We front the line. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me, baby, against the world.'''

'''Be Kind To My Mistakes''' (1986)
:&lt;small&gt;Song for the film [[w:Castaway (Lucy Irvine)|''Castaway'' (1986)]]; later included in the collection ''This Woman's Work''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I don't know you, &lt;br /&gt; And you don't know me. &lt;br /&gt; It is this that brings us together. '''

'''You Want Alchemy''' (B-side of [[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]] single) (4 April 1994)
[[File:Winged Sun alchemical.jpg|thumb|right|Did you [[know]] they can [[change]] it [[all]]? &lt;br /&gt; They got [[alchemy]].]]

* What a lovely afternoon &lt;br /&gt; On a [[w:Cloudbusting|cloudbusting]] kind of day. &lt;br /&gt; We took our own 'Mystery Tour' &lt;br /&gt; And got completely lost somewhere up in the hills. &lt;p&gt; And we came up on a bee-keeper, &lt;br /&gt; And he said &quot;'''Did you know they can change it all?'''&quot; 

* '''They got [[alchemy]].''' &lt;br /&gt; They turn the roses into gold &lt;br /&gt; They turn the lilac into honey &lt;br /&gt; They're making love for the peaches. &lt;p&gt; '''And they'll do it, &lt;br /&gt; Do it for you.'''

== Quotes about Kate Bush ==
:&lt;small&gt;Arranged alphabetically by author.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Emilybronte retouche.jpg|thumb|right|People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that song. ~ Alan Bentley]]

* '''One of the main things that brings people to the Brontë Museum from all over the world is Kate Bush.''' We have copies of her No 1 hit single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; in our collection of [[Emily Brontë|Brontë]]-related items. '''People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that [[song]].'''
** Alan Bentley, director of the [http://www.bronte.org.uk/Brontë Parsonage Museum]

* To me, Kate Bush will always represent the age of exploring your sexuality, when you change from a girl to a woman. I guess that's what I found fascinating about Kate, she totally stuck out. She created her own look and sound. There's a timelessness to her music.
** [[Björk]]

* I think she is still relevant. It's nice to see people reinvent themselves. She was a great performer and a great singer. I like that song, you know the one, &quot;It's me, I'm Cathy…&quot; I love that song. I remember listening to it growing up.
** [[w:Mutya Buena|Mutya Buena]] of [[w:Sugababes|Sugababes]]

* '''I know this may give her a mystique and make the press all the more curious about her, but that's not the intention; it's not a ploy to get her more attention. She genuinely doesn't see why people should be interested in her personal life and she certainly doesn't like going out to clubs or trendy restaurants. It's just not her.'''
** Paddy Bush, Kate's brother, as quoted in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; by Amy Standen, in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* For me, it's not important how well the songs will be received because I think she's already an amazing influence in what she's done. I listen to her stuff a lot while I sketch and I think there is a weird sense of emotional encouragement in her work. There's something therapeutic in her voice and in her attitude, so that sometimes just listening to it can encourage you or give you some kind of energy.
** [http://www.widemedia.com/fashionuk/fashion/catwalk-archive/lfw-ss01/hc.html Hussein Chalayan, fashion designer]

* I didn't realise how commercially successful she might be. I thought of her more really, I suppose, in the terms of someone like [[Joni Mitchell]] — the level of a lady who's very talented, but would appeal to a more esoteric audience. But she had different ideas.
** [[David Gilmour]] of [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] who helped Kate's career get started.

* '''Kate Bush's celebrated full return to the stage after a 35-year absence is proving that absence makes the heart grow fonder.''' Eight positions of the current British albums chart are occupied by the art-rock icon's albums, according to ''The New York Times'', which sets a new record for the artist, whose 1978 debut single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; made her the first female in British charts history to have a self-written Number One. &lt;br /&gt; In addition to being the only woman in U.K. charts history to have that many albums in the Top 40, Bush is now trailing [[Elvis Presley]] and the [[Beatles]] for having simultaneous Top 40 records; Presley had 12 at one point in his career, while the Beatles, at another time, had 11.
** Kory Grow, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/kate-bush-pens-letter-thanking-fans-following-concert-run-20141022 &quot;Kate Bush Lands Eight Albums on British Chart Following Comeback Shows&quot;, in ''Rolling Stone'' (2 September 2014)]

* One of music's most reclusive and enigmatic figures has re-emerged into what some have seen as a rich era for British female singer-songwriters. Bush's new double album, ''Aerial'', is due out in November, only her eighth after three decades in the business. It will be treated with due reverence.
** Terry Kirby in [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece ''The Independent''] (2 September 2005)

* That's a song where we were listening to a lot of Kate Bush last summer, and we wanted a song which had a lot of tom-toms in it,I just had my daughter up also, and was kind of feeling in a sense of awe and wonderment, so the song is kind of a Kate Bush song about miracles.
** [[Chris Martin]], on the links between [[Coldplay]]'s song &quot;Speed of Sound&quot; and Kate Bush's &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running up that Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;. He later said &quot;we tried to copy the drums, guitar, melody….etc&quot;

* '''Of course she's still relevant. I wasn't actually in the country when her music first came out, so I only discovered it three or four years ago. What's amazing is that something like &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; still sounds so different.''' I actually saw her about nine months ago, we were just passing at an industry event and I went up to her and said I was a big fan and asked her about the new record. She was really excited about it but quite nervous because she felt that everyone was hyping it up a bit and she just wanted to bring out an album. You know, she's a musician.
** [[Katie Melua]]

* Her music remains reassuringly the same ecstatic alchemy of the humdrum and otherworldly. Recalling the hello-clouds wonder of The Big Sky from 1985's ''Hounds of Love'' or the frank paean to menstruation that is Strange Phenomena from her debut, ''The Kick Inside'', ''Aerial'' finds Bush marvelling in the magic of the everyday: the wind animating a skirt hanging on a clothes line, the trace of footprints leading into the sea, the indecipherable codes of birdsong.
** ''MOJO'' magazine as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)

* '''I simply think she is one of the greatest figures in British music over the last 30 years. There are an awful lot of people in the business wandering around claiming to be artists, but she is one of the few who can genuinely make that claim... I don't think there is any competition, she's on a different level and quite outside them all.'''
** Paul Rees, editor of ''Q'' Magazine, as quoted in ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

* Could Keely Garfield be the Kate Bush of downtown dance? The question is raised by “Wow,” the bizarre, hilarious, enthralling, confounding and cathartic new work that Ms. Garfield presented on Thursday at Danspace Project. Surely it is the recent comeback tour of Ms. Bush that has put that singer-songwriter on Ms. Garfield's mind. But it is “Wow” that suggests the comparison: two British-born women, intensely idiosyncratic and theatrical with outlandish taste in costumes, who follow their imaginations uninhibitedly. &lt;br /&gt; The salient difference would seem to be irony. Much of Ms. Bush's power stems from her absolute [[sincerity]], the sense that she is unaware that anyone might find what she's doing ridiculous. But Ms. Garfield has always been wry, droll, deadpan. Her assertion in a program note that she meant “Wow” to be “entirely sincere without a hint of irony or cleverness” cannot and should not be taken as entirely sincere. &lt;br /&gt; The program also credits Matthew Brookshire with “music inspired by the poetry of Kate Bush.” What we actually hear, though, are Kate Bush songs. Some are played in the original recordings, some chopped up and looped, but most are performed live by the marvelous Mr. Brookshire, on vocals and piano, joined by Ms. Garfield and her four terrific dancers. The arrangements are stripped down and seductively vibrant. Some lyrics are recited in a manner between sports cheer and Greek chorus. Some singsongy melodies are swapped for the tunes of actual nursery rhymes. &lt;br /&gt; Ms. Garfield, in other words, does not shy from the naïveté of her material. Much of her choreography illustrates the lyrics literally, in the manner of a children's pageant.
** Brian Seibert, in [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/18/arts/dance/keely-garfield-draws-on-kate-bush-at-danspace-project.html &quot;Sincerity and Irony Meet on the Dance Floor&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (17 December 2014)]

* '''With a voice you either love or hate, she belts out a song with a desperation that grabs you and won't let go.'''
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* Bush has always teetered dangerously at the edge of sentimentality and cliché, and her early songs (what one reviewer called her “soft-focus Victorian melodramas”) could have gone all wrong had her bizarre phrasing not somehow let us know how serious she was. &lt;br /&gt; '''Bush sang melodramas, but she meant them like truth; those “oohs” aren't filler. The conviction in her voice, the baldness and great crushing desperation of it, is overpowering.''' It's the kind of music that grabs your innards and you turn it up, squint your eyes with the strain of it. Kate Bush was younger than 20 when she wrote “Wuthering Heights.” She couldn't (and still can't) read or write music, but she knew how to make a song true, how to up the tension with a key change, repeat the chorus with a hardness in her voice. &lt;br /&gt; She was a prodigy, an 18-year-old who looked 35, with an ethereal voice and a knack for inventive songwriting. She looks, in photos of the time, simultaneously naive and defiant, like someone who doesn't need other people. Much later in life, when she was asked in an interview with ''Rolling Stone'' why she toured so infrequently, Bush replied: “'''The more I got into presenting things to the world, the further it was taking me away from what I was, which was someone who just used to sit quietly at a piano and sing and play. It became very important to me not to lose sight of that.'''” &lt;br /&gt; In other words, Bush decided early on that our approval didn't matter. She was doing this from herself and largely for herself and if people didn't like her, or if they didn't understand her, well then, screw them.
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* I'm really looking forward to Kate Bush's return — I'm no expert on her work but I know some of it and I think she's an incredibly original and talented artist. Anyone who writes most of an album like her first album, ''The Kick Inside'', at 15 years old has got to be pretty special.
** [[w:KT Tunstall|KT Tunstall]]

* '''When EMI invites a group of journalists to the Royal Academy of Music, in London, for a one-off listen to Kate Bush's new album, they are sending a clear signal — this album is not to be dismissed lightly.'''
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is, in a sense, a lyric poem set to music. Full of lush, fecund melodies which swing from jazz to rock, it is threaded through with bird song and chatter and feels distinctly organic and earthy.... Side two is the album Pink Floyd might have made if Kate Bush had been their lead singer and lyricist in 1979.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)
** '''Bush has written a lyric poem set to music, which has an epic quality, transporting the listener to a deeply lush and fertile landscape.''' Lyrically cryptic, but strangely seductive, side two is the album [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] might have made in 1979 if Bush had been their lead singer. &lt;br /&gt; '''Concept albums are not everyone's cup of tea — but this is a masterpiece.'''
*** Variant in a later [http://web.archive.org/web/20090115012224/http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/release/fprg/ BBC summary review] 

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is a celebration of song itself, which has a child's joyful lack of inhibition about it — Kate Bush is heard laughing freely towards the end while a young child, possibly her son, is heard several times... Aerial stands alongside The Hounds of Love and The Kick Inside as her finest work.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* I always heard about Kate Bush being considered one of the most influential female artists during the modern era of pop/rock music, but never understood what her appeal was... But when I recently stumbled upon her debut 1978 single, &quot;Wuthering Heights,&quot; I found myself spending hours absorbing as much of her pre-1985 material as possible . . . Listening to an early Kate Bush album brings you far, far, away to a dreamworld filled with pixies and love and Peter Pan and pure hearts . . .''' &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; and the rest of ''The Kick Inside'' display all of Bush's trademarks: a literary consciousness; flourishing, heartfelt waves and the ability to successfully incorporate just about every eccentric vocal style you've never heard into each song.'''
** Jared Wolfe, in ''The Cornell Daily Sun'' (20 October 2005)

* '''Illusion, dance, mime, even magic — the Tour of Life, as it was called, had the lot.''' &lt;br /&gt; I shan't forget the way those [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]]-like whale sounds that open The Kick Inside album heralded Kate's entry to the stage as waves were projected on huge screens and her band launched into Moving. &lt;br /&gt; For a split second, the audience thought Kate was lip-synching because there was no microphone, but in pre-dating Madonna by a couple of decades, she was wearing a headset to allow free movement around the stage. &lt;br /&gt; Every song from that first album was performed before the switch to stuff from follow-up Lionheart, virtually every number warranting a change of costume and stage set. ... '''The entire show was pure theatre.'''
** Jade Wright, quoting a fan who was at the opening of Kate's one and only musical tour, in [http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-entertainment/liverpool-arts/2007/10/29/kate-bush-at-the-empire-april-3-1979-100252-20025105/ &quot;Kate Bush at the Empire, April 3, 1979&quot; by Jade Wright in the ''Liverpool Echo'' (29 October 2007)]

=== The Unique Poetry Of Kate Bush (1985) ===
[[File:Rosen - Frederick Delius.jpg|thumb|Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her [[music]] will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it. ~ Sue Hudson]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/reaching/i85_hifi.html Review by Sue Hudson] in ''Hi-Fi &amp; Record Review'' (December 1985)&lt;/small&gt;

* We've been holding our breath for a long time. Three years of playing the old songs and wondering &quot;whatever next?&quot; Would it be even weirder than ''The Dreaming?'' Would it leave more admirers by the wayside, shaking their heads?... The real fans will happily go along for the ride, even if she isn't going the pretty way. 

* '''Kate journeys into new and exciting territories. She is an original in a [[music]] [[world]] dominated by cover versions, regressive movements and identikit superstars.''' The direct opposite of the archetypal rock star: compulsively introvert in a world of screaming extraverts, middle-class and deeply English amid England's all-pervasive working class American ethos, boldly feminine in rock's macho climate. '''Her melodic genius and articulate lyrics make the rest seem moronically simplistic.'''

* After a thousand songs on the theme of boy-meets-girl-boy-loses-girl or Thatcher's Britain, exposure to her music comes as an imaginative release as we go giddily flying into the limitless possibilities of the poetic viewpoint. Here is talk of whales, of Peter Pan, kites, Houdini, mysticism... '''Acquaintances have observed, &quot;She lives in a world of her own.&quot; But it's a world that lives within [[all]] of us, and her [[songs]] shine [[light]] into neglected areas of our [[minds]].'''

* Her subjects come tripping from library shelves, television and cinema screens and musty books of fairy tales, the stuff that dreams are made of. She spins tunes that haunt, twist and turn the mind, triggering long forgotten moods. Listening intently to her albums is an experience akin to having a lucid and feverish dream. [[Jungian]] [[symbols]] of youth, [[innocence]], [[spiritual]] escape and the dark, feminine realm abound. [[Ghosts]] haunt the black vinyl grooves... But it's not all brooding intensity. There are [[jokes]], too...

* '''It's a mischievous [[paradox]] that, while rock at its ultra-macho best is exhilarating and energizing, yet just at the moment when it is most strident and loud it leaves you needing something more. Then along comes a shy doctor's daughter from Welling who out-screams the best, out-powers the noisiest and tops it with the satisfying impact of musical and psychological depth.''' It's almost [[Richard Wagner|Wagnerian]].'''

* '''Her [[talent]] was precocious.''' &quot;The Saxophone Song&quot; and &quot;The Man With the Child in His Eyes&quot; were recorded as demo tapes when Kate was still at school. The first album, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978), caused tremendous media interest and is still the public's favourite. '''Her [[voice]], criticized at the time, was small and childlike, the range erratic, if impressive. Since then it has improved enormously, deepening and gaining power and flexibility, until now it is a great asset, individual and capable of both subtle and stunning effects.'''

* The album ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' came next and starts in happy mood, with a summer night of a cha-cha-cha tribute to a new-found hero, &quot;[[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]]&quot;. The philosophic All We Ever Look For creates a remarkable and rare mood of reassurance and upbeat resignation, a Bush specialty . . . The end comes in the horrifying &quot;Breathing&quot;, a vision of the nuclear holocaust through the eyes of an unborn child.

* On to ''[[w:The Dreaming|The Dreaming]]'', a strange, alien album full of [[mysticism]] and obscurantae. Its impact owes much to sheer production quality. Kate has gradually taken over this aspect of her records since ''[[w:Lionheart|Lionheart]]'', and each LP is technically more impressive. Her voice here is forward and strong and, on &quot;Leave It Open&quot;, deliberately distorted to create a surreal effect. Get Out of My House is a shattering trip into madness, with a stunning culmination which finds Kate braying like a mule amid a chorus of Indian drum talk.

* The new album, ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'', breaks new ground for Kate with the b-side. This is a story — The Ninth Wave — told in a series of songs, like a Pink Floyd concept album.

* '''Casual listeners will miss the depth of the music.''' You must sit down with the lyric sheet and find out what's going on. All the vocal acrobatics and weird sounds click into place when you know what ideas, stories and situations they are expressing. In most rock and pop, the music and words may be linked, but are basically separate. '''Kate creates, more and more, a fusion between the two — the sounds directly expressing the subject.''' This is a throwback to Wagner's music-drama, with its leitmotifs, turning music into an idea. The [[Beatles]] revived the technique, and bands of the hippy era like [[Pink Floyd]] carried the banner. . . Kate is fast becoming a master in the use of this sonic montage, perhaps because the ideas she is using are far more complex, have more &quot;resonances&quot;, than those of her contemporaries.

* '''Kate will never be an academic artist, drily applying intellectual music theory to the delight of a handful of peers, forging into new areas for the sake of &quot;progress&quot;. Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her music will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it.''' I just hope that she will have the confidence to follow her instincts and not be discouraged by the music press, who in the main are baffled and annoyed by her uniqueness. Unable to pigeon-hole her music, they turn instead to ridicule and condescension to fill the pages. Which is a disservice to the British public who, to their undying credit, have made Kate Bush such a popular success.

===Kate Bush rules, OK? (2005) ===
[[File:Let Love Rule.jpg|thumb|right|Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Article by [[w:Michael Berkeley|Michael Berkeley]], published in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1589379,00.html ''The Guardian''] (11 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* When the conductor Richard Hickox rang me one day in 1984 to ask if I could help with a rather unusual job for which he and his choir had been engaged, I was intrigued. Kate Bush, it transpired, was working on her new album, ''Hounds of Love'', and for one track, Hello Earth, she wanted a chorus to recreate the orthodox singing/chanting that made such a contribution to the film ''[[Nosferatu]]''.

* '''I had always considered Kate Bush truly original both as a performer and as a songwriter with an unusually fresh sense of harmony.''' If her new album next month is awaited with some excitement after a long fallow period, then in 1985 it was assumed that ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' would be something of a final fling at the conclusion of a waning career. '''I soon realised how wrong this assumption was when Kate sent me a cassette''': it was zany, ambitious and yet utterly Kate Bush, but with gaps where I was to do her bidding. Having chatted at length, she sent me a long letter with the words of the song and precise instructions on how it should unfold...''' Structure was carefully delineated, verses and choruses written out fully and marked up in colour, and she talked of the sound quality in the most graphic terms.'''

* '''Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.''' I have always been fascinated by the difference of dynamics at work between popular artists and conventionally trained classical musicians, and had a similar experience with [[The Edge|the Edge]], of [[U2]], when we worked together on the score of a film called ''Captive''. '''In fact, gifted &quot;pop&quot; musicians like Bush and U2 are far more demanding of themselves in the studio than classical musicians can afford to be, and will spend days working on a tiny fragment.'''

* Come the recording day, a group of male choristers, more accustomed to singing church services than backing vocals, descended on Bush's home, which was equipped with its own studio. Doubtless they were imagining that they were about to meet a wild-eyed rock babe, but Kate, quiet and unassuming — the kind of sympathetic, slightly shy girl who greets you from behind the counter at the local chemist — introduced us to her friend the bass player [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], who engineered the session. None of the singers or Richard had ever gone over and over four or five phrases so exactingly. No measure of Bach or Mozart had, in their experience, been subjected to such surgical scrutiny, and I began to worry that their voices might begin to tire. '''But Bush knew and got what she wanted and &quot;Hello Earth&quot; is, I think, a remarkable track on the album that finally broke the American market and established her as an iconic and hugely influential figure. I can't wait to hear what she has been up to now.'''

=== Admit it, guys, she's a genius (2005) ===
[[File:Genius logo.png|thumb|right|For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html Article by Kitty Empire, in ''The Observer''] (30 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.''' ... Before disgust stopped me getting dragged into these skirmishes, I had a ready arsenal of Girl Greats — [[Patti Smith]], [[Björk]], [[w:Nina Simone|Nina Simone]], [[w:Delia Derbyshire|Delia Derbyshire]], [[w:Polly Harvey|Polly Harvey]], and so on. And yet, there would often be some caveat why genius eluded my candidates (ripped off Dylan etc). '''Until we would get to Kate. Female genius? Kate Bush. End of. &lt;br /&gt; ''Aerial'', the first Kate Bush album in a young lifetime (12 years), re-establishes the fact. It is extraordinary — jaw-dropping, no less.'''

* ''Aerial'' succeeds because it's all there for a reason. And because the good stuff is just so sublime. 'King of the Mountain', Bush's Elvis-inspired single, is both a fine opener and a total red herring. Bush's juices really get going on 'Pi', a sentimental ode to a mathematician, audacious in both subject matter and treatment. The chorus is the number sung to many, many decimal places. It's closely followed by a gushing ode to Bush's son, Bertie, that's stark and medieval-sounding. The rest of disc one (aka ''A Sea of Honey'') sets a very high bar for disc two, with the Joan of Arc-themed 'Joanni' and the downright poppy 'How to Be Invisible' raising the hair on your arms into a Mexican wave. &lt;br /&gt; Disc two, subtitled ''A Sky of Honey'', is a suite of nine tracks which, among other things, charts the passage of light from afternoon ('Prologue') to evening ('An Architect's Dream', 'The Painter's Link') and through the night until dawn. Things get a little hairier here.

* '''It's clear Bush is still a force to be reckoned with. The problem, though, with female genius — for many men at least — is that very frequently it is not like male genius. And with its songs about children, washing machines going 'slooshy sloshy', Joan of Arc, Bush's mother, not to mention the almost pagan sensuality that runs through here like a pulse, Aerial is, arguably, the most female album in the world, ever.''' ... the artistry here is so dizzying, the ambition and scope so vast, that even the deafest, most inveterate misogynist could not fail to acknowledge it. '''Genius. End of.'''

=== Kate Bush: Finally, something for the grown-ups (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''The Independent'' (31 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Such is the idiosyncratic nature of her work that she could probably disappear for a half-century and still sustain her own unique position in the pop firmament.''' But then, who else would write about an obsessive-compulsive housewife or attempt a vocal duet with trilling birds, or, in the most courageous of the album's many unusual strategies, sing huge strings of numbers, a gambit that brings new meaning to the old critic's chestnut about being happy to listen to someone singing the telephone directory?

* Many years ago, back near the start of her career, she regarded the domestic demands of motherhood as a dubious prospect, claiming her work was her love, and how could she do that and bring up a child at the same time? The answer, presumably, was not to work for a dozen years.

* She has always freely admitted being like a little girl in many ways, and furthermore, happily presumes she'll still be that way in her dotage. It's certainly still a factor on ''Aerial'' , both in the track &quot;Bertie&quot; itself and in the memories and reminiscences that cobweb some other songs. But compared to the darker corners of the mind sometimes mined in earlier songs, the new album seems a much sunnier affair: an enduring image I took away from it — not necessarily a lyric, though it might have been — was of windows flung wide open, their curtains billowing out in the breeze, a room's long-dormant dust stirred into life again.

* She's unafraid, too, of tackling more problematic areas of sexuality, as for instance when she dealt with cradle-snatching in &quot;The Infant Kiss&quot; and incest in &quot;The Kick Inside&quot;. But not all that seems erotic in her music is about sex, as an EMI employee discovered when he found her working on the hypnotic &quot;out-in-out-in&quot; chant section of &quot;Breathing&quot; (from 1980's ''Never For Ever''), and expressed outrage at EMI's young pop princess making such an overtly sexual record. The song is, of course, about breathing. Duhhh!

* At around an hour and a half, Aerial is unquestionably a substantial piece of work, and its manifold peculiarities and quirks offer much more interesting fare than that available from today's AOR mainstream. It's also a more mature undertaking than any of her previous albums, an extended meditation on art and light, fame and family, creativity and the natural world. Indeed it seems, come to think of it, like an expansion of the theme of Laura Veirs' gorgeous &quot;Rapture&quot;. And since that was the finest song of last year, I'd have to say that leaves Kate Bush still operating at the cutting-edge of intelligent adult pop, every bit as relevant now as at any point in her career. Just a little bit weirder, thank heavens.

=== ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014) ===
[[File:Viv Albertine.jpg|thumb|&quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; … this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'' ~ [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]] ]] 
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of various people from the BBC documentary [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4sLwt8mhZs ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014)], listed alphabetically.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Tori Amos 2 pianos.jpg|thumb|I remember, I had to pull over, and [[listen]] to it, because I'd never [[heard]] anything like it. ~ [[Tori Amos]] ]]
[[File:Big Boi Counterpoint.jpg|thumb|That's [[w:Running Up That Hill|one of like my all-time favorite songs]], dude … every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord. ~ [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]] ]] 
[[File:St Vincent by Sachyn Mital.jpg|thumb|You don’t ever get the sense that she's making [[music]] to pander to anyone. I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her [[true]] [[vision]] whenever you get a Kate Bush record. ~ [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]] ]]
[[File:Peter Gabriel Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|Kate's wonderful [[voice]] is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of [[love]] out there for them. ~ [[Peter Gabriel]] ]]
[[File:Gaiman-headshot.jpg|thumb|One of the things I [[love]] about Kate Bush is her absolute [[ability]] to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them [[work]]. ~ [[Neil Gaiman]] ]]
[[File:David Gilmour - live 8 - edited.jpg|thumb|I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; ~ [[David Gilmour]] ]]
[[File:Elton John in Norway 5.jpg|thumb|[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|That record she did]] with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my [[life]]. ~ [[Elton John]] ]]
[[File:Miss Khan.jpg|thumb|She seems to have an endless kind of [[ability]] to put herself in and with [[empathize]] with different [[characters]] and viewpoints. ~ [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]] ]]
[[File:John Lydon at the Hammersmith Odeon, 2008-09-02 (4).jpg|thumb|My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] … It’s a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things. ~ [[John Lydon]] ]]
[[File:Lindsey Kemp Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|I got back to my [[home]] … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn’t know she had any aspirations of being a [[singer]]. She never talked about herself. ~ [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]] ]] 
[[File:Tricky mp3h1943.jpg|thumb|I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to. … When I first heard [[Billie Holiday]], I'd never heard anything like that in my [[life]] — the same with Kate Bush. ~ [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]] ]]

* When Kate Bush came along, sort of '78, I was in [[w:The Slits|The Slits]] , and I remember I was sitting in a van outside our singer's house, waiting to do a gig, and &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; And I kept waiting for the melody to repeat, because, you know, at that time, pop music was very much Radio One, you know it was repeating melodies very quickly, and '''this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'''''
** [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]]

* '''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'s just one of those song's you just can't get out of your head, can you?''' You know, how she just takes a word, and you start seeing images and pictures. To a word that maybe you haven't used ... it's &quot;Babooshka&quot; and she's turned that into an emotion, that's just how she's able to use a combination of a word and a combination of a melody and the rhythm of that, and it creates a new language.
** [[Tori Amos]]

* I just remember pulling aside, I was driving, and I heard it on the radio, in the states — and she didn't really get played a lot in the states, until that song — that really got played — a lot. '''I remember, I had to pull over, and listen to it, because I'd never heard anything like it.'''
** [[Tori Amos]], on first hearing &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* The intention is to tell a story, to create a sonic world for us, a sonic ''painting'', for us to walk into, without having to see her. She's transcending that. '''She's [[choosing]] to transcend that. And that's a very powerful thing to do.'''
** [[Tori Amos]]

* '''I don't think she's ever particularly wanted to &quot;play the game&quot;, has she?''' But when you've done ''great'' work, like she's done, and then you retract from the public, people almost have to make up their own version of you, don't they?
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]]

* I've spent ''many, many'' hours listening to that 30 minutes of [[music]]. It's an incredible piece of music, and '''I would advise anyone who's never heard it to go and listen to it, because it's one of the ''[[great]]'' pieces of music.'''
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]], on &quot;The Ninth Wave&quot; section of ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]''

*'''She's sort of stretching the fabric, not just of her [[voice]], but of the whole kind of pop form.''' ... It's like a child, it's like a kind of reveling in what her voice can do. 
** [http://katherineangel.com Katherine Angel], on Kate's singing

* '''It's as if, within her voice, there's ''[[everything]]'' — every possible facet of [[human]] [[experience]] is their under her surface, and her [[work]] as a [[writer]] is to constantly draw that out'''. Not just the particularity of her experiences as a female body, but her experience as a person, which is to be prey to all kinds of forces and sensations. 
** Katherine Angel

* '''That's one of like my all-time favorite songs, dude.''' Music is supposed to evoke [[emotion]], you know what I'm saying, It makes you feel a certain way, you know, that's what the vibrations are. Its, its not stagnant, its not just, not just plain — '''every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord.'''	
** [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]], on &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* '''You can hear one note of a Kate Bush song, or one note of her voice even, and know immediately what it is.''' And that is the biggest feat of any artist, especially when you consider, you know, all the roads that she's gone down. 
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on Bush's singing 

* '''For that to have come out of someone's brain, period, is a remarkable feat.''' For that to have come out of someone's brain, at 17 years old — ''this incredible song'', ''incredible'' song ... there aren't that many ''amazing'' pop songs that have two or three key changes in them —‚ and I'm not talking about some modulations, I'm talking: &quot;Okay, now we're in the key of Q.&quot; It's like ''WHAT?'' But it's so brilliant, it's so memorable. I always karaoke that song — ''if I drink enough.''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* I read an interview with her one time, where she was asked, something along the lines of &quot;Why do you write from the perspective of a lot of characters?&quot; and she said very simply and eloquently &quot;because they're more interesting than I am.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''I'm convinced that, as great as that record sounds, if you had anyone else sing it, you know, anyone else try to kind of weave and make it do that thing where it burns like wildfire and it comes alive, ''no one else could do it.''''' It's incredible the way she kind of brings this cold arctic atmosphere, It's just like fire, you know? It's like all ''aaarh'' coming out of her mouth. ... and now I'm listening to the song in my head. &quot;Do you know what I really need? Do you know what I really need? I need lalalala yea yo yea yo your ''love''.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:The Sensual World (song)|The Sensual World]]&quot;

* I still remember going to the CD store and buying ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' when I was 16, and the cover — there was a [[rose]] in front of her mouth, that has bloomed, she's got big wide eyes, and '''I remember, you know, putting it on the shitty car stereo on the way home, you know — ''and my life was forever changed.'''''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''You don't ever get the sense that she's making music to pander to anyone.''' I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her true vision whenever you get a Kate Bush record.
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* She's a gift for satirists. Of course it's easy, because dull artists, especially in pop music, are very difficult to satirize. It's all there on a plate wasn't it?
** [[Steve Coogan]]

* '''I was called by my agent, who said &quot;Would you like to record a track with Kate Bush?&quot; To which there is ''only'' F-ing one possible answer.''' Unless its me ''singing''. I said, &quot;She does know I can't sing?&quot; &quot;No-no-no, it would be voicing, saying words for snow. … I still can't believe it says &quot;Kate Bush-Stephen Fry.&quot; 
** [[Stephen Fry]], talking about his work with Kate on ''[[w: 50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'', and the credits on the album.

* '''She has a very intense poetic mind.''' That's what makes it — ''that voice'' that comes in.
** [[Stephen Fry]], listening to ''50 Words for Snow''

* '''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] is still one of those things, which right from the get-go ... has its own life, because it's just a great song.''' ... For all the time that she or I or anyone spend decorating and creating moods, its actually the key element of what your saying, the melody and the chords which still speak louder than all the stuff around, on a great song. 
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* Creativity comes from the freedom to fail. And freedom to fail comes from experimentation, and that's what gives something its individuality. And, you know, '''I think her courage, which is the positive way of interpreting it, or bloody-mindedness, which is the negative, is part of what gives her real value as an artist.'''
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* It's extraordinary what that song has been used for — I think a lot of people who have gotten into trouble, have attached themselves to that song, and I think a lot of it is Kate's wonderful voice is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of love out there for them.
** [[Peter Gabriel]], on his duet with Kate on his song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* '''I'd never heard anything like it before. It was like [[w:banshee|banshee]] [[music]].''' This absolutely otherworldly voice, singing about a [[book]], and as a bookish kid, I was always fascinated by anything, any music that seems to be about or inspired by books.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* '''One of the things I love about Kate Bush is her absolute ability to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them work.''' [[James Joyce]]'s ''[[Ulysses]]'' — one of the greatest passages in all of English or Anglo-Irish literature, is Molly Bloom's glorious soliloquy ending in a sequence of Yeses. It's about embracing the [[world]] of the [[senses]], embracing [[yourself]], embracing [[sex]], embracing [[love]], embracing the [[future]], embracing ''[[all|all]]'' possibility, and it goes all the way back to me, to &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; — this is somebody who is not afraid of books. '''This is somebody who is not afraid of reading, somebody who's not afraid of writers, and who's not afraid of ''translating'', being an intermediary, being a [[door]], between the world of books and the world of rock.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Kate Bush makes a record, and you don't hear from her. And you play the stuff she has made, and one day you are surprised, and she brings out something else, and she's been quietly working away on it, for however long she wanted to work on it, and I love that. '''I love the willingness to be quiet, until its time to speak — which is something that she does over and over.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Its funny no one ever applies the term &quot;progressive rock&quot; to Kate Bush, but to me its prog. It's the same think I love about the best prog, it's like, the really sort of brash stuff, people showing technical ability, I have no interest in, but the experimental dreamy stuff, that sort of came from many places at once, I set her stuff next to, well next to [[Janis Joplin|Janis]], is the obvious comparison... 
** [[w:Guy Garvey|Guy Garvey]]

* '''I had a listen, I was intrigued ... by this strange voice, and I went to her house, met her parents down in Kent, and she played me, it must have been forty or fifty songs, on tape, and I thought, I should try to do something.''' ... We were making — [[Pink Floyd]] was making the ''Wish You Were Here'' album, and I think we had the record company people down at Abbey Road, in number 3, and I said to them &quot;Do you want to hear something I've got? And they said &quot;sure&quot;, so we found another room, and I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; 
** [[David Gilmour]], on first hearing 15 year old Kate's demo tapes, and meeting with her.

* '''It is absolutely beautiful, isn't it?''' And its a sort of over two years before any of the other recordings she did. That is her singing at the age of 16, and having written those extraordinary lyrics — about whatever they're about.
** [[David Gilmour]], listening to [[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] 

* This is a whole universe I can dive into — and for me, it was very ''avant-garde'', and expressive and kind of from a complete different planet to everything else that you see from the eighties ... it's like she was definitely out their on her own. ... '''She seems to have an endless kind of ability to put herself in and with empathize with different characters and viewpoints.'''
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

* I really ''thank'' Kate, because these touchstones like &quot;This Woman's Work&quot;, that kind of song, it's celebrating everything that's so wonderful about being a woman, and being nurturing, and intuitive and emotional, and gentle and sensual, and just like really intimate. People don't put their hearts on the line in that vulnerable way very much, and me, as an artist myself, it's helped me to not be frightened, to show all, as much of my vulnerability as a woman as possible, and in that be powerful.
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

*''' They're not &quot;normal&quot; songs. None of her songs have been &quot;normal.&quot; She's just who she is, she's unique. She's — a mystery. She's the most beautiful mystery.''' ... Let me tell you a story: when I had my civil partnership, nine years ago, in 2005, and Kate — we invited Kate, we didn't think she'd come but she came, she came with her husband Danny, and '''there were a lot of very famous people in that room, there were like 600 people — and all anybody wanted to meet was Kate Bush.''' I mean, musician, ''anybody'', they couldn't believe Kate Bush was there. She's kind of an enigma. 
** [[Elton John]]

* &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; was not your normal type song — but that's why it was so brilliant. It was something out the norm. When something like that comes along, they don't come along that often. When does the next Kate Bush come along, after Kate Bush? There hasn't been one.
** [[Elton John]]

* '''That record she did with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my life.''' That record helped me get sober. So she played a big part in my actual downfall and kind of &quot;rebirth'&quot; as it were. That record helped me so much. I never told her that, but it did.
** [[Elton John]], on her duet with Peter Gabriel on the song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* When I first heard it, I thought that's ''extremely'' challenging, the vocal — it was almost ''hysterical'', and it was so up there, the register, but it was absolutely fascinating. And I know at the time a lot of my friends couldn't bear it, they thought it was just &quot;too much&quot; — but that's exactly what drew me in. 
** [[John Lydon]], on &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']], and I think she produced that one herself. That got ''a lot of criticism'' — but I ''loved'' it. It was overloaded with textures, and tones and all manner of things. '''It's a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things.'''
** [[John Lydon]]

* I was teaching at the Dance Centre in Covent Garden. Kate turned up, dressed very properly in her ballet tights and things, and her hair straight back, looking very, very professional indeed, a very, very serious student. But as ''timid as hell'', and of course she took a place at the back of the class, you know, I had to ''coax'' her forward. I mean she was ''extremely'' shy, ''extremely'' timid, and of course the first thing I had to do was, you know, bring her out of herself, give her courage. '''I have to say that once Kate actually ''started'' dancing, she was a ''wild'' thing, she was ''wild'''''. … One day, some months after knowing her, I got back to my home … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — '''and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn't know she had any aspirations of being a singer. She never talked about herself.'''
** [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]]

* '''I knew from day one, I knew ... there was no way this girl was not going to make it. She was going to be a ''huge'' success.''' There was no way, because she was so driven for it. And her [[enthusiasm]] for it all was infectious. 
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]]

* The working relationship was never a problem, you know. We always worked together reasonably well, you know, we always argue, and we always have and always will. I've always argued with Kate, and she's always argued with me, but I guess that's just the way it is, you know, so I feel I'm emotionally involved with it all, to a great extent, you know, much more so than most people would imagine. Not only did we have a personal relationship, and I work with her — I really love her music, I really do... to the point, where '''I virtually work with nobody else — because nobody else comes close.'''
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], on the break up of his personal relationship with Kate, and his continued work with her musically.

* '''I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to.''' Where does Kate Bush come from? You can't hear her influences. It's like [[Billie Holiday]], when I first heard Billie Holiday, I'd never heard anything like that in my life — the same with Kate Bush. I can't figure out musically, artistically, who her mother and father is. 	
** [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.katebush.com/ Official site]
* [http://homepage.tinet.ie/~twoms/katebush.htm Kate Bush News]
* [http://gaffa.org/ Gaffaweb - extensive fan site]
** [http://gaffa.org/sensual/l_alpha.html Lyrics of Kate Bush songs at Gaffaweb]
* [http://ectoguide.org/artists/bush.kate Ectophile Guide to Kate Bush] &amp; [http://ectoguide.org/genre Good Music]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Always on the Run : Kate Bush] (bio and lyrics)
* [http://home.att.net/~james51453/ &quot;Cathy&quot; Online version of the book by Kate's brother, John Carder Bush]
* [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/mp3/ Kate Bush in MP3 - early studio demos by Kate Bush, plus other rare recordings.]
* [http://www.katebush.info/ Kate Bush Information and Resources]
* [http://www.angelfire.com/stars4/katebush/Art.html Links to Artwork Inspired By Kate]
* [http://www.ukkatebushfangatherings.co.uk/ UK Kate Bush Fan Gatherings]
* [http://ninthwave.free.fr/ The Ninth Wave - French Language Fan Page]
* [http://children.ofthenight.org/cloudbusting/cloudbusting.html Cloudbusting - Kate In her Own Words]
* [http://fly.hiwaay.net/~cbullard/ Kate Worlds]
* [http://www.heisjohn.com/kate/ The Single File]
* [http://www.antenna.nl/~dinyar/ Bart Dinyar's Discography]
* [http://www.wessex.clara.net/kate/ The Laser File]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Kate Bush Lyrics]
* [http://www.talisman.org/~erlkonig/KT/ Talisman Archive]
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20050205140603/http://members.tripod.com/~BrendanMartin/ The Lost Kate Bush Interview]
* [http://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/kate.bush.html Summary: &quot;The Line, The Cross &amp; The Curve&quot;]
* [http://www.salon.com/people/bc/2001/03/20/kate_bush/print.html Kate Bush] ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)
* [http://www.rollingstone.com/artist/bio/_/id/2069/katebush?pageid=rs.Artistcage&amp;pageregion=artistHeader Brief biography] at ''Rolling Stone''
'''Reviews of ''Aerial'':'''
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial'' (BBC)]
* [http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html &quot;Admit it, guys, she's a genius&quot; - ''The Observer'' (30 October 2005)]
* [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5032773 Kate Bush Returns with 'Aerial'] ([[w:National Public Radio|NPR]] audio review)
* [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece Kate Bush: The sequel&quot;], ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bush, Kate}}

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[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Record producers from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
[[Category:British women]]
[[Category:People from London]]
[[Category:1958 births]]
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      <text bytes="131583" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Kate bush 1978 2 (cropped).png|thumb|Just being [[Life|alive]] &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt. &lt;br /&gt; These [[moments]] given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]]. &lt;br /&gt; Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we [[love]]…]]
'''[[w:Kate Bush|Catherine Bush]]''' [[w:Order of the British Empire|CBE]] (born [[30 July]] [[1958]]) is an [[English]] [[singer-songwriter]], [[musician]] and record producer. She is the sister of [[John Carder Bush]] and [[w:Paddy Bush|Paddy Bush]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Before The Dawn Costumes.jpg|thumb|[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].]]
[[File:Kate bush 1978 1.png|thumb|What's [[important]] to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.]]
[[File:Kate Bush at 1986 Comic Relief (cropped).png|thumb|The [[important]] [[people]] are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's [[lives]]. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much [[attention]] on something that's so shallow?]] 
[[File:Kate Bush and Mino Cinelu. BTD, London September 20, 2014.jpg|thumb|I'm really very [[happy]] if [[people]] can [[connect]] at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the [[story]] is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the [[world]].]]
[[File:Kate Bush Before The Dawn 2014.jpg|thumb| I have [[intentions]] as a [[writer]], but people — when they’re listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song’s about something it isn’t. That doesn’t matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it’s great.]]
 
* '''[[Art|Artists]] shouldn't be made [[Fame|famous]].''' You know... they're just ... as important as... um doctors, and priests ... or maybe not as important sometimes, and yet they have this huge aura of almost god-like quality about them, just because their craft makes a lot of money. '''And at the same time it is a ''forced'' importance — you know, football stars and theatre stars — It is man-made so the press can feed off it.'''
** ''Profiles in Rock'' interview (December 1980)

* '''I was trying to say that, really, a man and a woman, can't understand each other because we are a man and a woman. And if we could actually swap each other's roles, if we could actually be in each other's place for a while, I think we'd both be very surprised! ... And I think it would lead to a greater understanding.''' And really the only way I could think it could be done was either... you know, I thought a deal with the devil, you know. And I thought, &quot;well, no, why not a deal with [[God]]!&quot; You know, because in a way it's so much more powerful the whole idea of asking God to make a deal with you. You see, for me it is still called &quot;Deal With God&quot;, that was its title. But we were told that if we kept this title that it would not be played in any of the religious countries, [[Italy]] wouldn't play it, [[France]] wouldn't play it, and [[Australia]] wouldn't play it! [[Ireland]] wouldn't play it, and that generally we might get it blacked purely because it had God in the title.
** On her song &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;, in a [http://gaffa.org/cloud/music/running_up_that_hill.html Radio 1 Classic Albums interview with Richard Skinner (26 January 1992)]

* For me to get into that creative process I have to have a sort of quiet place that I work from. And '''if I was living the life of ... somebody in the industry, as a pop star or whatever, it's too distracting. It's too to do with other people's perceptions of who you are, and what's important to me is to be a [[human]] being who has a [[soul]], and who hopefully has a sense of who they are, not who everybody else thinks you are.''' &lt;br /&gt; And I think, you know, that's something that's very difficult for people who become extremely famous. I mean, I find it completely ridiculous this obsession with celebrities. ... Why are celebrities so important to people? It's absolute crap. I mean, the important people are surgeons and doctors and people actually put people back together and make a difference to people's lives. Not somebody who's in an ad on telly. I mean, okay, so that's valid for what it is, too. But why so much attention on something that's so shallow?
** [http://gaffa.org/reaching/iv05_bbc2_Mark_Radcliff_interview.html Interview on ''The Mark Radcliff Show'', ''BBC Radio 2'' (7 November 2005)]

* '''Now [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|all the shows are over]], it's pretty difficult to explain how I [[feel]] about it [[all]].''' It was quite a [[surreal]] journey that kept its level of intensity right from the early stages to the [[end]] of the very last show. It was also such great [[fun]]. &lt;br /&gt; It was one of the most extraordinary [[experiences]] of my [[life]]. I loved the whole process.... I was really delighted that the shows were received so positively and so warmly but the really unexpected part of it all was the audiences. Audiences that you could only ever [[dream]] of. One of the main reasons for wanting to perform live again was to have contact with that audience.They took my breath away. Every single night they were so behind us. You could feel their support from the minute we walked on stage. I just never imagined it would be possible to connect with an audience on such a powerful and intimate level; to feel such, well quite frankly, [[love]]. It was like this at every single show. &lt;br /&gt; Thank you so very much to everyone who came to the shows and became part of that shared experience. It was a truly special and wonderful feeling for all of us.
** An open letter to her fans about her [[w:Before the Dawn (Kate Bush concert series)|&quot;Before the Dawn&quot; concerts (26 August 2014 - 1 October 2014)]], in [http://www.katebush.com/news/after-dawn &quot;After the Dawn&quot; at her official &quot;FISH P∑ΩPL∑&quot; site &quot;(22 October 2014)]

* '''[[David Bowie]] had everything. He was intelligent, imaginative, brave, charismatic, cool, sexy and truly inspirational both visually and musically.''' He created such staggeringly brilliant work, yes, but so much of it and it was so good. There are great people who make great work but who else has left a mark like his? No one like him.
** Tribute to David Bowie, in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/jan/17/david-bowie-as-seen-by-deborah-harry-chris-kate-bush-stein-carlos-alomar-julien-temple-edwyn-collins &quot;David Bowie, as remembered by…&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (17 January 2016)]

* I think musicians have a responsibility ''to try and do something that is good.'' It's so hard. It's very difficult to pull something out of the hat creatively. Although I say it's their responsibility, it's really just people trying to do the best that they can.
** As quoted in [https://www.thefader.com/2016/11/23/kate-bush-interview-before-the-dawn &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)]

* '''I'm really very happy if people can connect at all to anything I do. I don't really mind if people mishear lyrics or misunderstand what the story is. I think that's what you have to let go of when you send it out in the world.''' I'm sure with a lot of paintings, people don't understand what the painter originally meant, and I don't really think that matters. I just think if you feel something, that's really the ideal goal. If that happens, then I'm really happy.
** As quoted in &quot;Kate Bush Speaks&quot; by Owen Myers in ''Fader'' (23 November 2016)

* '''As an artist, you're never happy with anything you do. It's part of the process.''' You're never really happy. I'm certainly not. That's a good thing. It means you're always striving to do better. You hope the next piece will be better.
** As quoted in [https://www.macleans.ca/culture/arts/in-conversation-with-kate-bush/ &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)]

* '''The great thing about art on any level is that it can speak to all people if it's achieved properly.''' When I've heard a piece of music or seen a painting that moves me, it gives me something. That's such an incredibly special experience. I have intentions as a writer, but people — when they're listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song's about something it isn't. That doesn't matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it's great.
** As quoted in &quot;In conversation with Kate Bush&quot; by Elio Iannacci in ''MacLeans'' (28 November 2016)

=== MOJO interview (2005) ===
&lt;!-- [[File:Flag of WHO.svg|thumb|I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that [[people]] think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the [[world]].]] --&gt;
:&lt;small&gt;Excerpts from an interview in ''MOJO'' magazine (3 November 2005) as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that people think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the world. '''Y'know, I'm a very strong person and I think that's why actually I find it really infuriating when I read, 'She had a nervous breakdown' or 'She's not very mentally stable, just a weak, frail little creature'.'''

* There were so many times I thought, &quot;I'll have the album finished this year, definitely, we'll get it out this year.&quot; Then there were a couple of years where I thought, &quot;I'm never gonna do this.&quot; If I could make albums quicker, I'd be on a roll wouldn't I? '''Everything just seems to take so much time. I don't know why. Time... evaporates.'''

* ''There was a story that some EMI execs had come down to see you and you'd said something like: &quot;Here's what I've been working on,&quot; and then produced some cakes from your oven. True?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;No! I don't know where that came from. I thought that was quite funny actually. It presents me as this homely creature, which is all right, isn't it?&quot;

* '''For the last 12 years, I've felt really privileged to be living such a normal life. It's so a part of who I am.''' It's so important to me to do the washing, do the Hoovering. Friends of mine in the business don't know how dishwashers work. For me, that's frightening.''' I want to be in a position where I can function as a human being. Even more so now where you've got this sort of truly silly preoccupation with celebrities. Just because somebody's been in an ad on TV, so what? Who gives a toss?'''

== Song lyrics ==

=== ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tki.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Humpback Whale underwater shot.jpg|thumb|right|Moving [[stranger]], &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not [[afraid]] to [[feel]]?]]
[[File:Kate Bush New Zealand 1978.png|thumb|[[Touch]] me, hold me. &lt;br /&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br /&gt; Try to fall for me.]]

'''[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This first track of Bush's first album is a tribute to Bush's mime and dance instructor [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]], and opens and closes with a whale song.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Moving stranger, &lt;br /&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br /&gt; As long as you're not afraid to feel?'''

[[File:Saxophone alto.jpg|thumb|right|There's something very [[real]] in how I [[feel]], honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you [[know]] it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone…]]
* [[Touch]] me, hold me. &lt;br /&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br /&gt; Try to fall for me.

* '''How I'm moved. &lt;br /&gt; How you move me &lt;br /&gt; With your beauty's potency.'''

'''The Saxophone Song'''

* '''There's something very special indeed, &lt;br /&gt; In all the places where I've seen you shine, boy.''' &lt;br /&gt; There's something very real in how I feel, honey. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me. &lt;br /&gt; It's in me, &lt;br /&gt; And you know it's for real. &lt;br /&gt; Tuning in on your saxophone...

* '''You'll never know that you had all of me. &lt;br /&gt; You'll never know the poetry you've stirred in me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Of all the stars I've seen that shine so brightly, &lt;br /&gt; I've never known or felt in myself so rightly, &lt;br /&gt; It's in me...

'''[[w:Strange Phenomena (song)|Strange Phenomena]]'''
[[File:Moon rise 2-20-08-3.jpg|thumb|right|Soon it will be the phase of the [[moon]] &lt;br /&gt; When [[people]] tune in.]]

* '''Soon it will be the phase of the moon &lt;br /&gt; When people tune in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Every girl knows about the punctual blues, &lt;br /&gt; But who's to know the power behind our moves?

* '''We raise our hats to the strange phenomena. &lt;br /&gt; Soul-birds of a feather flock together.'''

[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|right| There's a hole in the [[sky]] with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite…&quot;]]
'''Kite'''

* '''There's a hole in the sky with a big eyeball &lt;br /&gt; Calling me: &quot;Come up and be a kite, &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight!&quot;'''

* A diamond kite &lt;br /&gt; On a diamond flight. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the lights, under the moon. &lt;br /&gt; Over the moon, over the moon!

[[File:The Flood, by Paul Merwart.jpg|thumb|right|Suddenly I find [[myself]] &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a [[man]] I've never [[known]] before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the [[sea]], &lt;br /&gt; [[All]] his [[love]], 'til [[Eternity]].]]
'''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]'''

* '''I hear him, before I go to sleep &lt;br /&gt; And focus on the day that's been.''' &lt;br /&gt; I realise he's there, &lt;br /&gt; When I turn the light off and turn over.

* '''Nobody knows about my man. &lt;br /&gt; They think he's lost on some horizon. &lt;br /&gt; And suddenly I find myself &lt;br /&gt; Listening to a man I've never known before, &lt;br /&gt; Telling me about the sea, &lt;br /&gt; All his love, 'til Eternity.'''

* Ooh, he's here again, &lt;br /&gt; The man with the child in his eyes.

'''[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]'''
[[File:Johann Heinrich Füssli 015.jpg|thumb|right|Ooh, it gets [[dark]]! It gets [[lonely]], &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you…]]

* '''Out on the wiley, windy moors &lt;br /&gt; We'd roll and fall in green. &lt;br /&gt; You had a temper like my jealousy: &lt;br /&gt; Too hot, too greedy. &lt;br /&gt; How could you leave me, &lt;br /&gt; When I needed to possess you? &lt;br /&gt; I hated you. I loved you, too.'''

* Bad dreams in the night. &lt;br /&gt; They told me I was going to lose the fight, &lt;br /&gt; Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering &lt;br /&gt; Wuthering Heights.

* Heathcliff, it's me — Cathy.

* '''Ooh, it gets dark! It gets lonely, &lt;br /&gt; On the other side from you. &lt;br /&gt; I pine a lot. I find the lot &lt;br /&gt; Falls through without you.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm coming back, love. &lt;br /&gt; Cruel Heathcliff, my one dream, &lt;br /&gt; My only master.

* Ooh! Let me have it. &lt;br /&gt; Let me grab your soul away.

'''James And The Cold Gun'''

* Ooh, James, are you selling your soul to a cold gun?

* You're a coward, James. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from humanity. &lt;br /&gt; You're running away from reality. &lt;br /&gt; It won't be funny when they rat-a-tat-tat you down.

[[File:James Barry 001.jpg|thumb|right| Nobody else can [[share]] this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The [[glorious]] [[Unity|union]].]]
'''Feel It'''

* '''Nobody else can share this. &lt;br /&gt; Here comes one and one makes one, &lt;br /&gt; The glorious union. &lt;br /&gt; Well it could be love, &lt;br /&gt; Or it could be just lust, &lt;br /&gt; But it will be fun. &lt;br /&gt; It will be wonderful.'''

* God, but you're beautiful, aren't you? &lt;br /&gt; Feel your warm hand walking around. &lt;br /&gt; I won't pull away. &lt;br /&gt; My passion always wins. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-moving in. &lt;br /&gt; So keep on a-tuning in. &lt;br /&gt; Synchronise rhythm now.

'''Oh To Be In Love'''
[[File:A Love for the Arts by Delacorr.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] the colours look brighter [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new…]]
* '''I could have been anyone. &lt;br /&gt; You could have been anyone's dream. &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to choose our moment?''' &lt;br /&gt; Why did you have to make me feel that? &lt;br /&gt; Why did you make it so unreal?

* '''Oh! To be in love, &lt;br /&gt; And never get out again.'''

* All the colours look brighter now. &lt;br /&gt; Everything they say seems to sound new. &lt;br /&gt; Slipping into tomorrow too quick, &lt;br /&gt; Yesterday always too good to forget. &lt;br /&gt; '''Stop the swing of the pendulum! Let us through!'''

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Bacchante (1894).jpg|thumb|right| My [[eyes]] were shining on the [[wine]], and your aura…]]
'''L'Amour Looks Something Like You'''

* You came out of the night, &lt;br /&gt; Wearing a mask in white colour. &lt;br /&gt; My eyes were shining &lt;br /&gt; On the wine, and your aura.

* You look like an [[Angels|angel]], &lt;br /&gt; Sleeping it off at a station. &lt;br /&gt; Were you only passing through?

* I'm dying for you just to touch me, &lt;br /&gt; And feel all the energy rushing right up-a-me. &lt;br /&gt; L'amour looks something like you.

[[File:Whirling Dervishes, Konya, Turkey, RMO.jpg|thumb|right|I [[love]] the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the [[beauty]] of rare [[innocence]].]]
[[File:John William Waterhouse - The Crystal Ball.JPG|thumb|right| You don't [[need]] no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We [[humans]] got it [[all]], we perform the [[miracles]].]]
'''[[w:Them Heavy People|Them Heavy People]]'''

* '''Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me...'''

* '''I must work on my mind. For now I realise: &lt;br /&gt; Everyone of us has a heaven inside.'''

* Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. &lt;br /&gt; Them heavy people help me.

* '''They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.''' &lt;br /&gt; They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]]. &lt;br /&gt; They build up my body, break me emotionally. &lt;br /&gt; It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!

* '''I love the whirling of the [[dervishes]]. &lt;br /&gt; I love the beauty of rare innocence. &lt;br /&gt; You don't need no crystal ball, &lt;br /&gt; Don't fall for a [[magic]] wand. &lt;br /&gt; We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.'''

'''Room For The Life'''

* Hey there, you lady in tears, &lt;br /&gt; Do you think that they care if they're real, woman? &lt;br /&gt; They just take it as part of the deal.

* '''Like it or not, we were built tough, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.'''

* No, we never die for long, &lt;br /&gt; While we've got that little life &lt;br /&gt; To live for, where it's hid inside.

* Like it or not, we keep bouncing back, &lt;br /&gt; Because we're woman.

[[File:Sonnenfinsternis 1999-08-11 1.jpg|thumb|right|I will come [[home]] again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The [[sun]] and the [[moon]] meet on yon hill.]]
'''The Kick Inside'''

* '''I'm giving it all in a moment or two. &lt;br /&gt; I'm giving it all in a moment, for you.'''

* This kicking here inside &lt;br /&gt; Makes me leave you behind. &lt;br /&gt; No more under the quilt &lt;br /&gt; To keep you warm. &lt;br /&gt; Your sister I was born. &lt;br /&gt; You must lose me like an arrow, &lt;br /&gt; Shot into the killer storm.

* You and me on the bobbing knee. &lt;br /&gt; Didn't we cry at that old mythology he'd read! &lt;br /&gt; I will come home again, but not until &lt;br /&gt; The sun and the moon meet on yon hill.

=== ''[[w:Lionheart (album)|Lionheart]]'' (1978) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_lh.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Fractal nevit 75.png|thumb|right|I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood…]]
'''[[w:Symphony in Blue|Symphony in Blue]]'''

* '''I spend a lot of my [[time]] looking at blue, &lt;br /&gt; The colour of my room and my mood...'''

[[File:The Realm of Rane - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.]]
* When that [[feeling]] of meaninglessness sets in, &lt;br /&gt; Go blowing my [[mind]] on [[God]]: &lt;br /&gt; The [[light]] in the [[dark]], with the neon arms, &lt;br /&gt; The meek He seeks, the beast He calms, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[good]] [[soul]] department.

* '''My terrible [[fear]] of [[dying]] &lt;br /&gt; No longer [[plays]] with me, &lt;br /&gt; for [[now]] I [[know]] that I'm [[needed]] &lt;br /&gt; For the symphony.'''

* '''The more I think about [[sex]], the better it gets.''' &lt;br /&gt; Here we have a [[purpose]] in [[life]]: &lt;br /&gt; Good for the [[blood]] circulation, &lt;br /&gt; Good for releasing the tension, &lt;br /&gt; The root of our [[reincarnations]].

'''In Search Of Peter Pan'''
[[File:Peter Pan 1915 cover 2.JPG|thumb|right|When I am a [[man]] I will be an astronaut, and find [[Peter Pan]].]]

* I no longer see a [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; I've been told when I get older &lt;br /&gt; That I'll [[understand]] &lt;br /&gt; It all. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not sure if I want to.

* '''They took the [[game]] right out of it. &lt;br /&gt; When I am a man &lt;br /&gt; I will be an astronaut, &lt;br /&gt; And find [[Peter Pan]].'''

'''[[w:Wow (song)|Wow]]'''
[[File:Double slit x-ray simulation monochromatic blue-white.png|thumb|right|We [[know]] [[all]] our lines so well… &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many [[times]]…]]

* '''We're [[all]] [[alone]] on the stage [[tonight]].''' &lt;br /&gt; We've been told; we're not [[afraid]] of you. &lt;p&gt; We [[know]] all [[Speech|our lines]] so well, ah-ha, &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many times: &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] and [[Repetition|time again]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Poetry|Line and line again]].

* You say we're fantastic, &lt;br /&gt; But still we don't head the bill. &lt;br /&gt; Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! ''Unbelievable!''

* Ooh, yeah, you're amazing! &lt;br /&gt; We think you are really cool. &lt;br /&gt; We'd give you a part, my love, &lt;br /&gt; But you'd have to play the fool.

'''Don't Push Your Foot On The Heartbrake'''

* Emma's come down. &lt;br /&gt; She's stopped the light &lt;br /&gt; Shining out of her eyes.

* '''Oh, come on, you've got to use your flow. &lt;br /&gt; You know what it's like, and you know you want to go.''' &lt;br /&gt; Don't drive too slowly. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your blues where your shoes should be. &lt;br /&gt; Don't put your foot on the heartbrake.'''

'''Oh England My Lionheart'''
[[File:Spitfire-under.jpg|thumb|right|Oh! [[England]], my [[Lion]][[heart]]! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one [[kiss]] in apple-blossom.]]

* Oh! [[England]], my Lionheart! &lt;br /&gt; Dropped from my black Spitfire to my funeral barge. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one kiss in apple-blossom. &lt;br /&gt; Give me one wish, and I'd be wassailing &lt;br /&gt; In the orchard, my English rose, &lt;br /&gt; Or with my shepherd, who'll bring me home.

'''Fullhouse'''
[[File:Kate Bush (15312486456).jpg|thumb|[[Remember]] [[yourself]]. &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight…]]
* '''I am my [[enemy]]''' &lt;br /&gt; Mowing me over, &lt;br /&gt; And towing the light away.

* '''[[Remember]] [[yourself]].''' &lt;br /&gt; You've got a Full House in your head tonight...
** &quot;Remember yourself&quot; was a motto of [[G. I. Gurdjieff]], whose ideas were an early influence on Bush.

* Surely by now I should know &lt;br /&gt; I can control &lt;br /&gt; My highs and my lows &lt;br /&gt; By questioning all that I do, &lt;br /&gt; Examining every move, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get back to the rudiments.

'''In The Warm Room'''

* In the warm room &lt;br /&gt; She'll touch you with your Mamma's hand. &lt;br /&gt; You'll long to kiss those red lips, &lt;br /&gt; But when you do &lt;br /&gt; It'll feel like kicking a habit.

'''Kashka From Baghdad'''

* Kashka from Baghdad &lt;br /&gt; Lives in [[sin]], they say, &lt;br /&gt; With another man, &lt;br /&gt; But no one knows who.

* At night &lt;br /&gt; They're seen &lt;br /&gt; [[Laughing]], &lt;br /&gt; Loving. &lt;br /&gt; They know &lt;br /&gt; The way &lt;br /&gt; To be &lt;br /&gt; [[Happy]].

'''Coffee Homeground'''

* Well, you won't get me with your Belladonna — in the coffee, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me with your aresenic — in the pot of tea, &lt;br /&gt; And you won't get me in a hole to rot — with your hemlock &lt;br /&gt; On the rocks.

* Maybe you're lonely, &lt;br /&gt; And only want a little company, &lt;br /&gt; But keep your recipes &lt;br /&gt; For the rats to eat, &lt;br /&gt; And may they rest in peace with coffee homeground.

'''[[w:Hammer Horror (song)|Hammer Horror]]'''
[[File:Victor Hugo-Hunchback.jpg|thumb|right| I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me…]]

* You stood in the belltower, &lt;br /&gt; But now you're gone. &lt;br /&gt; So who knows all the sights &lt;br /&gt; Of Notre Dame?

* Hammer Horror, Hammer Horror, &lt;br /&gt; Won't leave me alone. &lt;br /&gt; The first time in my life, &lt;br /&gt; I leave the lights on &lt;br /&gt; To ease my soul.

* I've got a hunch that you're following, &lt;br /&gt; To get your own back on me. &lt;br /&gt; So all I want to do is forget &lt;br /&gt; You, friend.

=== ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' (1980) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_nfe.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Old love letters.jpg|thumb|She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do…]] 

'''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'''

* '''She wanted to [[test]] her husband. &lt;br /&gt; She knew exactly what to do: &lt;br /&gt; A pseudonym to fool him. &lt;br /&gt; She couldn't have made a worse move.'''

[[File:Jean Béraud L'escrimeuse.jpg|thumb|right|Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his [[wife]] when she was [[beautiful]].]]
* She sent him scented letters, &lt;br /&gt; And he received them with a strange delight. &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife &lt;br /&gt; But how she was before the tears, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was before the years flew by, &lt;br /&gt; And how she was when she was beautiful.

* Just like his wife before she freezed on him, &lt;br /&gt; Just like his wife when she was beautiful.

'''Delius (Song Of Summer)'''
:&lt;small&gt;A song about the composers [[w:Frederick Delius|Frederick Delius]] and [[w:Eric Fenby|Eric Fenby]].&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rmh1.jpg|thumb|To be sung of a [[summer]] [[night]] on the [[water]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water.]] 

* Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ''Song of Summer'' in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he's a moody old man. &lt;br /&gt; ...in...in...in his hand. &lt;br /&gt; ...in his hand.

* To be sung of a summer night on the water. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, on the water. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; Hmm. &lt;br /&gt; Ta, ta-ta! &lt;br /&gt; In B, Fenby!&quot;


'''Blow Away (For Bill)'''
:&lt;small&gt;Dedicated to Bill Duffield, Bush's lighting engineer, who died in a stage accident. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.]] 

* One of the band told me last night &lt;br /&gt; That [[music]] is all that he's got in his [[life]]. &lt;br /&gt; So where does it go? &lt;br /&gt; Surely not with his [[soul]]. &lt;br /&gt; Will all of his licks and his R'n'B &lt;br /&gt; Blow away?

* Our engineer had a different idea &lt;br /&gt; From people who nearly died but survived, &lt;br /&gt; Feeling no fear of leaving their bodies here, &lt;br /&gt; And went to a room that was soon full of visitors.

* '''Put out the light, then, put out the light.''' &lt;br /&gt; Vibes in the [[sky]] invite you to dine. &lt;br /&gt; Dust to dust, &lt;br /&gt; Blow to blow.

'''All We Ever Look For'''
[[File:Nefertiti 30-01-2006.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] we ever [[look]] for — a little bit of you.]]

* '''The whims that we're weeping for &lt;br /&gt; Our parents would be beaten for.'''

* Leave the breast &lt;br /&gt; And then the nest &lt;br /&gt; And then regret you ever left.

* '''[[All]] we ever look for — a [[god]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — ooh, a [[drug]]. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a great big hug.''' &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for — a little bit of you, too. &lt;br /&gt; All we ever look for, &lt;br /&gt; But we never do score.

'''Egypt'''
[[File:SphinxGiza.jpg|thumb|right| Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound [[lonely]] [[tonight]].]]
[[File:King_Tut_Ankh_Amun_Golden_Mask.jpg|thumb|right|Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].]]
* '''Follow the Nile &lt;br /&gt; Deep to much deeper. &lt;br /&gt; The Pyramids sound lonely tonight.''' &lt;br /&gt; The sands run red &lt;br /&gt; In lands of the Pharoahs. &lt;br /&gt; Their symmetry gets right inside me.

* Oh, I'm in [[love]] &lt;br /&gt; With [[Egypt]].

* My Pussy Queen &lt;br /&gt; Knows all my [[secrets]]. &lt;br /&gt; I'll never fall in love again.

'''The Wedding List'''
[[File:Bride1929.jpg|thumb|right|We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!]]

* Somehow this was it, I knew. &lt;br /&gt; Maybe fate wants you dead, too: &lt;br /&gt; We've come together in the very same room, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

* All I see is Rudi. &lt;br /&gt; I die with him, again and again. &lt;br /&gt; And I'll feel good in my revenge. &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna fill your head with lead &lt;br /&gt; And I'm coming for you!

'''Violin'''
[[File:Maitelouis1.jpg|thumb|right|Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over…]]
* Four strings across the bridge, &lt;br /&gt; Ready to carry me over, &lt;br /&gt; Over the quavers, drunk in the bars, &lt;br /&gt; Out of the realm of the orchestra...

* Get the bow going! &lt;br /&gt; Let it scream to me: &lt;br /&gt; Violin! Violin! Violin!

* Give me the [[w:Banshee|Banshees]] for B.V.s.
** B.V.s : backing vocals.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - A Young Girl Defending Herself Against Eros (1880).jpg|thumb|right| I cannot sit and let something happen I'll [[regret]]. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he [[scares]] me! There's a [[man]] behind those [[eyes]].]]
'''The Infant Kiss'''
:&lt;small&gt;Ths song was inspired by the film ''[[w:The Innocents (film)|The Innocents]]'' (1961), itself derived from ''[[w:The Turn of the Screw|The Turn of the Screw]]'' (1898) by [[Henry James|Henry James]]. Bush also wrote and sang a French version of this song: &quot;''Un Baiser d'enfant''&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I say good night-night &lt;br /&gt; I tuck him in tight. &lt;br /&gt; But things are not right.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''What is this?'' An infant kiss &lt;br /&gt; That sends my body tingling?

* His little hand is on my heart. &lt;br /&gt; He's got me where it ''hurts'' me. &lt;br /&gt; Knock, knock. Who's there in this baby? &lt;br /&gt; You know how to work me. &lt;br /&gt; '''All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.'''

* I cannot sit and let &lt;br /&gt; Something happen I'll regret. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, he scares me! &lt;br /&gt; There's a man behind those eyes. &lt;br /&gt; I catch him when I'm bending.

* I want to smack but I hold back. &lt;br /&gt; I only want to [[touch]]. &lt;br /&gt; But I must stay and find a way &lt;br /&gt; To stop before it gets too much! &lt;br /&gt; All my barriers are going. &lt;br /&gt; It's starting to show.

[[File:High Wood cemetery, France.jpg|thumb|right| What a [[waste]] of [[Army]] [[dreamers]]…]]
'''[[w:Army Dreamers|Army Dreamers]]'''

[[File:Operation_Upshot-Knothole_-_Badger_001.jpg|thumb|right|We've lost our [[chance]]. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.]]
* '''What could he do? &lt;br /&gt; Should have been a father. &lt;br /&gt; But he never even made it to his twenties. &lt;br /&gt; What a waste — &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, what a waste of &lt;br /&gt; Army dreamers.'''

* Oh, Jesus Christ, he wasn't to know, &lt;br /&gt; Like a chicken with a fox, &lt;br /&gt; He couldn't win the war with ego. &lt;br /&gt; Give the kid the pick of pips, &lt;br /&gt; And give him all your stripes and ribbons. &lt;br /&gt; Now he's sitting in his hole, &lt;br /&gt; He might as well have buttons and bows.

[[File:Ivy King - distance.jpg|thumb|right| I [[love]] my Beloved… [[All]] and everywhere, Only the [[fools]] blew it…]]
'''[[w:Breathing (song)|Breathing]]'''

* '''Outside &lt;br /&gt; Gets inside &lt;br /&gt; Through her skin.'''

* '''Breathing my mother in, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing my beloved in''', &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing her nicotine, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing, &lt;br /&gt; Breathing the fall-out in, &lt;br /&gt; Out in, out in, out in, out in.

* '''We've lost our chance. &lt;br /&gt; We're the first and the last, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; After the blast.'''

* '''I love my &lt;br /&gt; Beloved, ooh, &lt;br /&gt; All and everywhere, &lt;br /&gt; Only the fools blew it. &lt;br /&gt; You and me &lt;br /&gt; Knew life itself is &lt;br /&gt; Breathing...'''

[[File:Holygrail.jpg|thumb|right| I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.]]

=== [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] (1982) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_td.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Sat in Your Lap|Sat in Your Lap]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song incorporates a bit of Bush's eccentric wordplay: [[w:Sat (Sanskrit)|Sat]] is a [[w:Hinduism|Hindu]] and [[w:Sikhism|Sikh]] term for [[w:Truth|Truth]], or [[w:Knowledge|Knowledge]] related to the concept of [[w:Dharma#Developing_conceptions|Dharma]].&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Some say that [[knowledge]] is something that you never have. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that knowledge is something sat in your lap. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that [[heaven]] is [[hell]]. &lt;br /&gt; Some say that hell is heaven.'''

* I must admit, just when I think I'm king,
:: I just begin.

* '''I hold a cup of [[wisdom]], &lt;br /&gt; But there is [[nothing]] within.'''

'''[[w:There Goes a Tenner|There Goes a Tenner]]'''
[[File:Combinatoria.jpg|thumb|right|The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]…]]

* '''The [[sense]] of [[adventure]] &lt;br /&gt; Is [[changing]] to [[danger]]. &lt;br /&gt; The [[signal]] has been [[given]].'''

* My excitement &lt;br /&gt; Turns into fright. &lt;br /&gt; All my words fade. &lt;br /&gt; What am I gonna say? &lt;br /&gt; Mustn't give the game away.

[[File:Mills N° 23 MkIII-2.jpg|thumb|right|Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I [[love]] [[life]]!]]
'''Pull Out The Pin'''

* Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; Just one thing in it: &lt;br /&gt; Me or him. &lt;br /&gt; And I love life!

* He's big and pink, and not like me. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no light. &lt;br /&gt; He sees no [[reason]] for the [[fighting]]...

[[File:Divina - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].]]
'''[[w:Suspended in Gaffa (song)|Suspended in Gaffa]]'''

* '''Out in the [[garden]] &lt;br /&gt; There's half of a heaven''', &lt;br /&gt; And we're only bluffing. &lt;br /&gt; We're not ones for busting through walls, &lt;br /&gt; But they've told us &lt;br /&gt; '''Unless we can [[prove]] &lt;br /&gt; That we're doing it, &lt;br /&gt; We can't have it [[all]].'''

* I don't know why I'm crying. &lt;br /&gt; Am I suspended in Gaffa? &lt;br /&gt; '''Not until I'm ready for you, &lt;br /&gt; Not until I'm ready for you &lt;br /&gt; Can I have it all.'''

* '''I won't open boxes &lt;br /&gt; That I am told not to. &lt;br /&gt; I'm not a Pandora. &lt;br /&gt; I'm much more like &lt;br /&gt; That girl in the mirror.''' &lt;br /&gt; Between you and me &lt;br /&gt; She don't stand a chance of getting anywhere at all.

* Mother, where are the [[angels]]? I'm scared of the changes.
** Whispered in a childlike voice.

'''Leave It Open'''

* '''My [[door]] was never locked, &lt;br /&gt; Until one day a trigger come cocking. &lt;br /&gt; (But now I've started learning how,) &lt;br /&gt; I keep it shut.'''

* Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; Harm in us, but power to arm. &lt;br /&gt; Harm is in us. &lt;br /&gt; ''Leave it open!''

* '''''We let the weirdness in.'''''
[[File:Australie 2 389.jpg|thumb|right|Coming in with the golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; In the [[morning]]. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.]]
[[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|thumb|See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].]] 
'''[[w:The Dreaming (song)|The Dreaming]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song deals with the Australian traditions of [[w:Dreamtime|&quot;The Dreaming&quot;]] &lt;/small&gt;

* '''''See the [[light]] ram through the gaps in the land.'' &lt;br /&gt; Many an Aborigine's mistaken for a [[tree]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Til you near him on the motorway &lt;br /&gt; And the tree begin to breathe.'''

* ''''Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; In the morning. &lt;br /&gt; Coming in with the golden light &lt;br /&gt; Is the New Man.'''

* '''The [[civilised]] keep alive &lt;br /&gt; The territorial [[war]]...''' &lt;br /&gt; Erase the race that claim the place &lt;br /&gt; And say we dig for ore, &lt;br /&gt; Or dangle [[devils]] in a bottle &lt;br /&gt; And push them from the ''pull of the Bush.''

* '''See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].'''

'''[[w:Night of the Swallow (song)|Night Of The Swallow]]'''
[[File:Hirundo rustica young male spring NRM.jpg|thumb|right|In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the [[guilty]] — to set them [[free]].]]

* If you go, I'll let the law know, &lt;br /&gt; And they'll head you off when you touch the ground. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, please, don't go through with this. &lt;br /&gt; I don't like the sound of it.

* '''In Malta, catch a swallow, &lt;br /&gt; For all of the guilty — to set them free. &lt;br /&gt; Wings fill the window, &lt;br /&gt; And they beat and bleed.''' &lt;br /&gt; They hold the sky on the other side &lt;br /&gt; Of borderlines.

* ''Give me a break! &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, let me try! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to show &lt;br /&gt; For my miserable life! &lt;br /&gt; Give me something to take! &lt;br /&gt; Would you break even my wings, &lt;br /&gt; Just like a swallow?''

[[File:Tribute in Light Memorial September 9 2004.jpg|thumb|right| Only tragedy allows the release of [[love]] and [[grief]] never normally seen…]]
'''All The Love'''

* '''We needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love us too. &lt;br /&gt; We wait for your move.'''

* '''Only tragedy allows the release &lt;br /&gt; Of love and grief never normally seen.''' &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weep, &lt;br /&gt; I didn't want to let them see me weak, &lt;br /&gt; But I know I have shown &lt;br /&gt; That I stand at the gates alone.

* '''I needed you &lt;br /&gt; To love me too. &lt;br /&gt; I wait for your move.'''

* '''All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love we should have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love, all the love, &lt;br /&gt; All the love you could have given. &lt;br /&gt; All the love...'''

[[File:Weiss with mother and wife.jpg|thumb|right|With a [[kiss]] &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the [[key]] &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.]]
'''Houdini'''

* The tambourine jingle-jangles. &lt;br /&gt; The medium roams and rambles. &lt;br /&gt; Not taken in, &lt;br /&gt; I break the circle. &lt;br /&gt; I want this man &lt;br /&gt; To go away now.

* '''With a kiss &lt;br /&gt; I'd pass the key &lt;br /&gt; And feel your tongue &lt;br /&gt; Teasing and receiving.''' &lt;br /&gt; With your spit &lt;br /&gt; Still on my lip, &lt;br /&gt; You hit the water.

* '''Rosabel believe, &lt;br /&gt; Not even eternity &lt;br /&gt; Can hold Houdini! &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Rosabel, believe!&quot; '''

'''Get Out Of My House'''

* I will not let you in. &lt;br /&gt; I face towards the wind. &lt;br /&gt; I change into the Mule.

[[File:Lightning02.jpg|thumb|right| There is [[thunder]] in our [[hearts]]…]]

=== ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' (1985) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_hol.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)]]'''

* '''It doesn't hurt me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to feel how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me.

* '''And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with God, &lt;br /&gt; And I'd get him to swap our places, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that road, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that building.'''

* '''You don't want to hurt me, &lt;br /&gt; But see how deep the bullet lies. &lt;br /&gt; Unaware I'm tearing you asunder. &lt;br /&gt; Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.'''

* '''Is there so much hate for the ones we love? &lt;br /&gt; Tell me, we both matter, don't we?''' &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me won't be unhappy.

* '''C'mon, baby, c'mon darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let me steal this [[moment]] from you [[now]]. &lt;br /&gt; C'mon, [[Angels|angel]], c'mon, c'mon, darling, &lt;br /&gt; Let's exchange the [[experience]], oh...'''

* If I only could &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill &lt;br /&gt; With no problems...

[[File:Muir Wood10.JPG|thumb|right| ''It's in the [[trees]]! It's coming!'']]
'''[[w:Hounds of Love (song)|Hounds Of Love]]'''

* ''It's in the trees! &lt;br /&gt; It's coming!''

* I found a [[fox]] &lt;br /&gt; Caught by [[dogs]]. &lt;br /&gt; He let me take him in my [[hands]]. &lt;br /&gt; His little [[heart]], &lt;br /&gt; It beats so fast, &lt;br /&gt; And I'm ashamed of running away &lt;br /&gt; From nothing real — &lt;br /&gt; I just can't deal with this, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm still afraid to be there, &lt;br /&gt; Among your hounds of [[love]]...

* '''Do you know what I really need? &lt;br /&gt; I need love love love love love, yeah!'''

[[File:CL0024+17.jpg|thumb|right| They look down at the ground, missing. But I never go in [[now]]. I'm looking at the Big [[Sky]]…]]
'''[[w:The Big Sky (song)|The Big Sky]] '''

[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|You never really [[understood]] me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.]]
* '''They look down &lt;br /&gt; At the ground, &lt;br /&gt; Missing. &lt;br /&gt; But I never go in [[now]].''' &lt;br /&gt; I'm looking at the Big Sky.

* '''You never really understood me. &lt;br /&gt; You never really tried.'''

* This [[cloud]], this cloud — &lt;br /&gt; Says &quot;Noah, &lt;br /&gt; C'mon and build me an Ark.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And if you're coming, jump, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause &lt;br /&gt; We're leaving with the Big Sky.

'''Mother Stands For Comfort'''

* She knows that I've been doing something wrong, &lt;br /&gt; But she won't say anything.

* Am I the cat that takes the bird? &lt;br /&gt; To her the hunted, not the hunter.

* Mother stands for comfort. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will hide the murderer. &lt;br /&gt; Mother hides the madman. &lt;br /&gt; Mother will stay mum.

[[File:Halo in cirrostratus 1.jpg|thumb|right|I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen…]]
'''[[w:Cloudbusting|Cloudbusting]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;This song is sung from the perspective of [[Wilhelm Reich]]'s son Peter, whose memoir ''A Book of Dreams'' inspired it.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I still dream of Orgonon.''' &lt;br /&gt; I wake up crying. &lt;br /&gt; You're making rain, &lt;br /&gt; And you're just in reach, &lt;br /&gt; When you and sleep escape me.

* '''I just know that something good is going to happen. &lt;br /&gt; I don't know when, &lt;br /&gt; But just saying it could even make it happen.'''

* '''On top of the world, &lt;br /&gt; Looking over the edge, &lt;br /&gt; You could see them coming.''' &lt;br /&gt; You looked too small &lt;br /&gt; In their big, black car, &lt;br /&gt; To be a threat to the men in power.'''

* I hid my yo-yo &lt;br /&gt; In the garden. &lt;br /&gt; I can't hide you &lt;br /&gt; From the government. &lt;br /&gt; Oh, God, Daddy — &lt;br /&gt; I won't forget...

[[File:Aivazovsky,_Ivan_-_The_Ninth_Wave.jpg|thumb|right|Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.]] 
[[File:PortoCovoJan07-4.jpg|thumb|right|If they find me racing [[wikt:white horse|white horses]], they'll not take me for a buoy…]]
==== The Ninth Wave ====

'''And Dream Of Sheep'''

* '''Little [[light]] shining, &lt;br /&gt; Little light will guide them to me.''' &lt;br /&gt; My [[face]] is all lit up, &lt;br /&gt; My face is all lit up.

* '''If they find me racing [[wikt:white horses|white horses]], &lt;br /&gt; They'll not take me for a buoy.''' &lt;br /&gt; Let me be weak, &lt;br /&gt; Let me [[sleep]] &lt;br /&gt; And [[dream]] of [[sheep]].

* Ooh, their breath is warm &lt;br /&gt; And they smell like sleep, &lt;br /&gt; And they say they take me home. &lt;br /&gt; Like poppies heavy with seed &lt;br /&gt; They take me deeper and deeper.

'''Under Ice'''

* '''There's something moving &lt;br /&gt; Under, under the ice, &lt;br /&gt; Moving under ice, &lt;br /&gt; Through water, &lt;br /&gt; Trying to get out of the cold water.''' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Something, someone — help them. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;It's me.&quot;

[[File:Wickiana4.jpg|thumb|right|[[Look]] who's here to see you!]]
[[File:Joan of arc interrogation.jpg|thumb|right|''I question your [[innocence]]…'']]
'''Waking The Witch'''

* '''Wake up!'''...''You must wake up!''

* &quot;Don't you know you've kept him waiting?&quot; &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Look who's here to see you!&quot;

* ''I question your [[innocence]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird! &lt;br /&gt; ''She's a [[witch]]!'' &lt;br /&gt; There's a stone around my leg.

* ''What say you, good people?'' &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Help this blackbird...

* &quot;Get out of the waves! Get out of the water!&quot;

'''Watching You Without Me'''

* '''You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear me. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying. &lt;br /&gt; You can't hear what I'm saying to you.'''

* I should have been home &lt;br /&gt; Hours ago, &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here. &lt;br /&gt; But I'm not here...

[[File:G W Russell Bathers.jpg|thumb|Can't you [[see]] where [[memories]] are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the [[water]] like a [[laughing]] girl. &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] in her [[eyes]] is spawning [[past]] [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; One with the [[ocean]] and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding [[all]] the [[love]] that waits for you here. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
'''Jig Of Life'''
:&lt;small&gt;Co-written with her brother [[John Carder Bush]] &lt;/small&gt; 
[[File:Boelge stor.jpg|thumb|right|Catch us [[now]] for I am your [[future]]. &lt;br /&gt; A [[kiss]] on the [[wind]] and we'll make the land. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]] 
[[File:Waves forming at beach.jpg|thumb|right|For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will [[dance]] with me in the sunlit pools. ~ [[John Carder Bush]] ]]

* '''I'll be sitting in your [[mirror]]. &lt;br /&gt; [[Now]] is the place where the crossroads meet. &lt;br /&gt; Will you look into the [[future]]?'''

* Never, never say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To my part of your life.

* '''&quot;This [[moment]] in time,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said.) &lt;br /&gt; It doesn't belong to you,&quot; &lt;br /&gt; (She said,) &lt;br /&gt; It belongs to me''', &lt;br /&gt; And your little boy and your little girl, &lt;br /&gt; And the one hand clapping: &lt;br /&gt; Where on your palm is my little line, &lt;br /&gt; When you're written in mine &lt;br /&gt; As an old memory?

* Can't you see where memories are kept bright? &lt;br /&gt; Tripping on the water like a laughing girl. &lt;br /&gt; Time in her eyes is spawning past life, &lt;br /&gt; One with the ocean and the woman unfurled, &lt;br /&gt; Holding all the love that waits for you here. &lt;br /&gt; Catch us [[now]] for I am your future. &lt;br /&gt; A kiss on the wind and we'll make the land. &lt;br /&gt; Come over here to where When lingers, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting in this empty world, &lt;br /&gt; Waiting for Then, when the lifespray cools. &lt;br /&gt; '''For [[Now]] does ride in on the curl of the wave, &lt;br /&gt; And you will dance with me in the sunlit pools. &lt;br /&gt; We are of the going water and the gone. &lt;br /&gt; We are of water in the holy land of water &lt;br /&gt; And all that's to come runs in &lt;br /&gt; With the thrust on the strand.'''
** This is the portion of &quot;Jig of Life&quot; which was actually written as well as spoken by Kate's brother [[John Carder Bush]].

[[File:Shelfcloud.jpg|thumb|right|I was there at the [[birth]], Out of the cloudburst, The head of the [[tempest]]…]]
'''Hello Earth'''

* Watching [[storms]] &lt;br /&gt; Start to form &lt;br /&gt; Over [[America]]. &lt;br /&gt; Can't do anything. &lt;br /&gt; Just watch them swing &lt;br /&gt; With the [[wind]] &lt;br /&gt; Out to [[sea]].

* '''I was there at the [[birth]], &lt;br /&gt; Out of the cloudburst, &lt;br /&gt; The head of the [[tempest]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Murderer! &lt;br /&gt; Murder of calm...

[[File:Iridescent fog.jpg|thumb|right|The [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Begin]] to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to [[speak]].]]
[[File:Fog over Baffin Bay IMG 9533.jpg|thumb|right| D'you [[know]] what? &lt;br /&gt; I [[love]] you better [[now]].]]
'''The Morning Fog'''

* '''The light &lt;br /&gt; Begin to bleed, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to breathe, &lt;br /&gt; Begin to speak. &lt;br /&gt; D'you know what? &lt;br /&gt; I love you better now.'''

* '''I'll kiss the ground.''' &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my mother, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my father, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my loved one, &lt;br /&gt; I'll tell my brothers &lt;br /&gt; How much I love them.

[[File:William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Dawn (1881).jpg|thumb|right| Stepping out… To where the [[water]] and the [[earth]] caress…]]

=== ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' (1989) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_tsw.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''The Sensual World'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJc64xncBt4 Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''He said I was a flower of the mountain, yes, &lt;br /&gt; But now I've powers o'er a woman's body, yes. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out of the page into the sensual world. &lt;br /&gt; Stepping out... &lt;br /&gt; To where the water and the earth caress &lt;br /&gt; And the down on a peach says mmh, Yes...'''
** &quot;The Sensual World&quot;; The lyrics of this song are derived from the last lines of ''[[Ulysses (novel)|Ulysses]]'' by [[James Joyce]]. Kate had initially wanted to set much of Molly Bloom's Soliloquy to music, just as Joyce had written it, but when the Joyce estate refused, she altered it enough as to not infringe on copyright. As she explained it in an interview: &quot;The song was saying''' &quot;Yes, Yes&quot; '''and when I asked for permission they said''' &quot;No! No!&quot;.'''

[[File:Sunset Solar Halo at Keys View of Joshua Tree National Park.jpg|thumb|right|Do I look for those millionaires like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would when I could wear the sunset?]]
* Do I look for those millionaires &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[Machiavellian]] girl would &lt;br /&gt; When I could wear the sunset?

* '''You don't need [[words]] — just one [[kiss]], then another.'''

* '''Stepping out, off the page, into the sensual world.''' &lt;br /&gt; And then our arrows of [[desire]] rewrite the [[speech]]...

* I said, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; But not yet, mmh... yes, &lt;br /&gt; Mmh... Yes.

'''[[w:Love and Anger|Love and Anger]]'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ipM__nt8fM Video performance]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''It lay buried here. It lay deep inside me. &lt;br /&gt; It's so deep I don't think that I can [[speak]] about it. &lt;br /&gt; It could take me [[all]] of my [[life]], &lt;br /&gt; But it would only take a [[moment]] to &lt;br /&gt; Tell you what I'm [[feeling]], &lt;br /&gt; But I don't [[know]] if I'm ready yet. '''

* '''Take away the [[love]] and the [[anger]], &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of [[hope]] holding us together. &lt;br /&gt; Looking for a [[moment]] that'll never happen, &lt;br /&gt; [[Living]] in the gap between [[past]] and [[future]].''' &lt;br /&gt; Take away the [[stone]] and the timber, &lt;br /&gt; And a little piece of rope won't hold it together.

* If you can't tell your sister, &lt;br /&gt; If you can't tell a priest, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause it's so deep you don't think that you can speak about it &lt;br /&gt; To anyone, &lt;br /&gt; Can you tell it to your [[heart]]? &lt;br /&gt; Can you find it in your heart &lt;br /&gt; To let go of these feelings...

* We could be like two strings beating, &lt;br /&gt; Speaking in [[sympathy]]...

* We're building a house of the future together. &lt;br /&gt; (What would we do without you?)

* You might not, not think so now, &lt;br /&gt; But just you wait and see — someone will come to [[help]] you.

[[File:Fog-towerbridge.700px.jpg|thumb|right| I can't let you go. If I let you go, you slip into the fog…]]
'''The Fog'''

* '''Just like a photograph, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up. &lt;br /&gt; Just like a station on the radio, &lt;br /&gt; I pick you up.'''

* Just like a feeling that you're sending out, &lt;br /&gt; I pick it up. &lt;br /&gt; But I can't let you go. &lt;br /&gt; '''If I let you go, &lt;br /&gt; You slip into the fog...'''

* '''This love was big enough for the both of us. &lt;br /&gt; This love of yours was big enough to be frightened of. &lt;br /&gt; It's deep and dark, like the water was, &lt;br /&gt; The day I learned to swim.'''

* '''Is this love big enough to watch over me? &lt;br /&gt; Big enough to let go of me &lt;br /&gt; Without hurting me, &lt;br /&gt; Like the day I learned to swim?'''

'''Reaching Out'''

:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Be_ITyTMzc YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''See how the [[child]] reaches out [[instinctively]] &lt;br /&gt; To [[feel]] how [[fire]] will feel. &lt;br /&gt; See how the man reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For what he cannot have.''' &lt;br /&gt; ''The pull and the push of it [[all]].''

* Reaching out for that hand to hold. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for the Star that explodes. &lt;br /&gt; Reaching out for Mama.

* See how the [[flower]] leans instinctively &lt;br /&gt; Toward the [[light]]. &lt;br /&gt; See how the [[heart]] reaches out instinctively &lt;br /&gt; For no [[reason]] but to [[touch]]...

'''Heads We're Dancing'''
[[File:Jane Kelly. Psychosis 1.jpg|thumb|You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started…]]
[[File:Hitler, Speer y Breker en París, 23 de junio de 1940.jpg|thumb|Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] ]]

* You talked me into the game of chance. &lt;br /&gt; It was '39, before the music started, &lt;br /&gt; When you walked up to me and you said, &lt;br /&gt;&quot;Hey, heads we dance.&quot;
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9NaEOoOLU4 Audio at YouTube]

* They say that the [[Devil]] is a charming man. &lt;br /&gt; And just like you I bet he can [[dance]].

* Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; A picture of you, a picture of you in uniform &lt;br /&gt; Standing with your head held high &lt;br /&gt; Hot down to the floor but it couldn't be you &lt;br /&gt; It couldn't be you, it's a picture of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]

[[File:Imac G5 20inch.jpg|thumb|right|I [[need]] deeper [[understanding]]. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding…]]
'''Deeper Understanding'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wDDxM1F4xY YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''As the people here grow colder I turn to my [[computer]] &lt;br /&gt; And spend my evenings with it &lt;br /&gt; Like a [[friend]]. '''

* ''Hello, I know that you've been feeling tired. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Hello, I know that you're unhappy. &lt;br /&gt; I bring you love and deeper understanding….''

* I turn to my computer like a friend. &lt;br /&gt; '''I need deeper understanding. &lt;br /&gt; Give me deeper understanding...'''

'''Between A Man And A Woman'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orBTGQep1Ts YouTube video]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Picture couple pregnant woman.jpg|thumb|right|He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the [[truth]] lies somewhere in the middle.]]

* He said it was her fault. &lt;br /&gt; She said it wasn't at all. &lt;br /&gt; But the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

* '''Where [[angels]] fear to tread, &lt;br /&gt; You go rushing in.''' &lt;br /&gt; Stay out of this &lt;br /&gt; You must not interfere &lt;br /&gt; Don't you see this is &lt;br /&gt; Between a man and a woman?

'''Never Be Mine'''

* I look at you and see &lt;br /&gt; my life that might have been &lt;br /&gt; your face just ghostly in the smoke. &lt;br /&gt; They're setting fire to the cornfields &lt;br /&gt; as you're taking me home. &lt;br /&gt; The smell of burning fields &lt;br /&gt; will now mean you and here.

* '''This is where I want to be. &lt;br /&gt; This is what I need. &lt;br /&gt; This is where I want to be, &lt;br /&gt; But I know that this will never be mine.'''

* I want you as the [[dream]], &lt;br /&gt; Not the [[reality]]. &lt;br /&gt; That clumsy good-bye [[kiss]] could fool me. &lt;br /&gt; But looking back over my shoulder &lt;br /&gt; at you [[happy]] without me.

* The thrill and the hurting &lt;br /&gt; Will never be mine.

'''Rocket's Tail'''
[[File:010712 STS104 Atlantis launch glow.jpg|thumb|right|I saw only a stick on [[fire]], &lt;br /&gt; [[Alone]] on its [[journey]] &lt;br /&gt; [[Home]] to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.]]

* I thought you were crazy, wishing such a thing. &lt;br /&gt; I saw only a stick on fire, &lt;br /&gt; Alone on its journey &lt;br /&gt; Home to the quickening ground, &lt;br /&gt; With no one there to catch it.

* I am a rocket &lt;br /&gt; On fire. &lt;br /&gt; Look at me go, with my tail on fire...

'''This Woman's Work'''
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TupvVpxY_U Video]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I know you have a little [[life]] in you yet. &lt;br /&gt; I know you have a lot of [[strength]] left.'''

* '''I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. &lt;br /&gt; I should be [[hoping]], but I can't stop thinking &lt;br /&gt; Of all the things I should've said, &lt;br /&gt; That I never said. &lt;br /&gt; All the things we should've done, &lt;br /&gt; That we never did. &lt;br /&gt; All the things I should've [[given]], &lt;br /&gt; But I didn't.'''

'''Walk Straight Down The Middle'''

* We're calling out for Middle Street.

* '''We hang on to every line, &lt;br /&gt; And walk straight down the middle of it.'''

* He thought he was gonna [[die]], &lt;br /&gt; But he didn't. &lt;br /&gt; She thought she just couldn't cope, &lt;br /&gt; But she did. &lt;br /&gt; '''We thought it would be so hard, &lt;br /&gt; But it wasn't... &lt;br /&gt; It wasn't easy, though!'''

=== ''[[w:The Red Shoes (album)|The Red Shoes]]'' (1993) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_trs.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

'''[[w:Rubberband Girl|Rubberband Girl]]'''

* '''See those [[trees]] &lt;br /&gt; Bend in the wind &lt;br /&gt; I feel they've got a lot more sense than me &lt;br /&gt; You see I try to resist...'''

* A rubberband bouncing back to life &lt;br /&gt; A rubberband bend the beat &lt;br /&gt; If I could learn to give like a rubberband &lt;br /&gt; I'd be back on my feet...


'''[[w:And So Is Love|And So Is Love]]''' - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLHLPbEQ-hE Performance on ''Top of the Pops'' (1994)] 

* '''We let it in &lt;br /&gt; We give it out &lt;br /&gt; And in the end &lt;br /&gt; What's it all about? &lt;br /&gt; It must be love.'''

* '''We used to say &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Ah Hell, we're young&quot; &lt;br /&gt; But now we see that life is sad &lt;br /&gt; ''And so is love.'' '''

* What really matters? &lt;br /&gt; It's all we've got &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that enough?

* '''All for love &lt;br /&gt; Just for the sake of love.'''

[[File:Pomegranate02 edit.jpg|thumb|right| What am I singing? A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].]]
'''[[w:Eat the Music|Eat the Music]]'''

* '''Split me open &lt;br /&gt; With devotion &lt;br /&gt; You put your hands in &lt;br /&gt; And rip my heart out &lt;br /&gt; ''Eat the music.'' '''

* [[All]] is revealed &lt;br /&gt; Not only women bleed.

* '''What am I singing? &lt;br /&gt; A [[song]] of seeds — The [[food]] of [[love]]. Eat the [[music]].'''

'''[[w:Moments of Pleasure|Moments of Pleasure]]'''

* I think about us diving &lt;br /&gt; Diving off a rock, into another moment...

*&lt;p&gt;'''Just being alive &lt;br /&gt; It can really hurt &lt;br /&gt; These moments given &lt;br /&gt; Are a gift from [[time]].'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''Just let us try &lt;br /&gt; To give these moments back &lt;br /&gt; To those we love &lt;br /&gt; To those who will survive...'''&lt;/p&gt;

* And I can hear my mother saying &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Every old sock meets an old shoe&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Isn't that a great saying?

* Here come the Hills of Time

'''Song of Solomon'''

* '''The [[Song]] of [[Solomon]] &lt;br /&gt; The song of everyone &lt;br /&gt; Who walks the path &lt;br /&gt; Of the solitary [[heart]].'''

* '''The [[soul]] cries out &lt;br /&gt; Hear a [[woman]] singing &lt;br /&gt; Don't want your bullshit, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Just want your [[sexuality]]. &lt;br /&gt; Don't want excuses, yeah &lt;br /&gt; Write me your [[poetry]] in motion &lt;br /&gt; Write it just for me, yeah &lt;br /&gt; And sign it with a [[kiss]].

* I'll do it for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll be the [[w:Rose of Sharon|Rose of Sharon]] for you &lt;br /&gt; Ooh I'll come in a [[hurricane]] for you &lt;br /&gt; I'll do it for you...

[[File:The Golden Bough - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|right|Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]]…]]
[[File:Franz von Stuck 003.jpg|thumb|right| Gabriel before me, Raphael behind me, [[Michael (archangel)|Michael]] to my right, Uriel on my left side… In the [[circle]] of [[fire]]…]]
'''Lily'''

* ''Oh thou, who givest sustenance to the [[universe]] &lt;br /&gt; From whom all things proceed &lt;br /&gt; To whom all things return &lt;br /&gt; Unveil to us the [[face]] of the [[true]] [[spiritual]] [[sun]] &lt;br /&gt; Hidden by a disc of golden [[light]] &lt;br /&gt; That we may [[know]] the [[truth]] &lt;br /&gt; And do our [[whole]] [[duty]] &lt;br /&gt; As we journey to thy sacred feet''
** Recited by &quot;Lily&quot;

* I said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Lily, Oh Lily I'm so afraid &lt;br /&gt; I fear I am walking in the Veil of Darkness&quot; &lt;br /&gt; And she said &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Child, take what I say &lt;br /&gt; With a pinch of salt &lt;br /&gt; And protect yourself with fire&quot;

* Gabriel before me &lt;br /&gt; Raphael behind me &lt;br /&gt; [[Michael (archangel)]] to my right &lt;br /&gt; Uriel on my left side &lt;br /&gt; In the [[circle]] of [[fire]].

'''[[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]]'''
[[File:Solistin Jovana Ivanovic.jpg|thumb|right|She said &quot;just take off my red shoes &lt;br /&gt; Put them on and your [[dream]]'ll come [[true]]…]]

* '''With no [[words]], with no [[song]] &lt;br /&gt; You can [[dance]] the [[dream]] with your body on &lt;br /&gt; And this curve, is your [[smile]] &lt;br /&gt; And this cross, is your [[heart]] &lt;br /&gt; And this line, is your path &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always thought it would be &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be no illusion &lt;br /&gt; Oh it's gonna be the way you always dreamt about it &lt;br /&gt; But it's gonna be really happening to ya...'''

* Feel your hair come tumbling down &lt;br /&gt; Feel your feet start kissing the ground &lt;br /&gt; Feel your arms are opening out &lt;br /&gt; And see your eyes are lifted to [[God]] &lt;br /&gt; '''With no words, with no song &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna dance the dream &lt;br /&gt; And make the dream come true...'''

[[File:St Michael Berlin Engel Statue Kiss.JPG|thumb|right| I don't [[know]] if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there…]]
'''Top of the City'''

* '''I don't know if I'm closer to [[Heaven]] but &lt;br /&gt; It looks like [[Hell]] down there.''' &lt;br /&gt; These streets have never been paved with gold.

* It's no good for you baby &lt;br /&gt; It's no good for you now &lt;br /&gt; Keep looking up for the ladder.

* I don't mind if it's dangerous &lt;br /&gt; I don't mind if it's raining &lt;br /&gt; Take me up to the top of the city &lt;br /&gt; And put me up on the [[Angels|angel]]'s shoulders.

'''Constellation of the Heart'''
[[File:Herz aus Feuer.jpg|thumb|right|'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]] &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the [[heart]].]]

* We take all the telescopes &lt;br /&gt; And we turn them inside out &lt;br /&gt; And we point them away from the big [[sky]]. &lt;br /&gt; Put your eye right up to the glass. &lt;br /&gt; Here we'll find the constellation of the [[heart]]. &lt;br /&gt; '''Steer your [[life]] by these [[stars]] &lt;br /&gt; On the unconditional [[chance]] &lt;br /&gt; 'Tis here where [[Hell]] and [[Heaven]] [[dance]]. &lt;br /&gt; This is the constellation of the heart.'''

* Well we think you'd better wake up capt'n &lt;br /&gt; There's something happen'n up ahead &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it &lt;br /&gt; We've never seen anything like it before.

* Who said anything about it hurting? &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be beautiful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be wonderful &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be paradise. 

* Ooh find me the man with the ladder &lt;br /&gt; And he might lift me up to the stars. 

* ''Without the pain there'd be no learning &lt;br /&gt; Without the hurting we'd never change.''

'''Big Stripey Lie'''
[[File:Louvre renommée mr1824.jpg|thumb|right|Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.]]

* '''All young gentle dreams drowning &lt;br /&gt; In life's grief &lt;br /&gt; Can you hang on to me?'''

* '''Your [[name]] is being called by [[Angels|sacred things]] &lt;br /&gt; That are not addressed nor listened to. &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes they blow trumpets.'''

* Hey all you little waves run away. &lt;br /&gt; Mmm... run away.

'''Why Should I Love You?'''
[[File:Vittore Carpaccio 075.jpg|thumb|right|Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.]]

* This chapter says &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Put it out of your mind&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, give it time....

* The fine purple &lt;br /&gt; The purest gold &lt;br /&gt; The red of the Sacred Heart &lt;br /&gt; The grey of a ghost &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;L&quot; of the lips are open &lt;br /&gt; To the &quot;O&quot; of the Host &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;V&quot; of the velvet &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;E&quot; of my eye &lt;br /&gt; '''The eye in wonder &lt;br /&gt; The eye that sees &lt;br /&gt; The &quot;I&quot; that loves you.'''

* Have you ever seen a picture &lt;br /&gt; Of [[Jesus]] [[laughing]]? &lt;br /&gt; Mmm, do you think &lt;br /&gt; He had a [[beautiful]] [[smile]]? &lt;br /&gt; A smile that healed.

'''You're the One'''

* '''Let's [[change]] things. &lt;br /&gt; Let's danger it up. &lt;br /&gt; We're [[crazy]] enough. &lt;br /&gt; I just can't take it.

* You're the only one I want...

* I know where I'm going. &lt;br /&gt; But I don't want to leave. &lt;br /&gt; I just have one problem &lt;br /&gt; We're best friends, yeah? &lt;br /&gt; We tied ourselves in knots &lt;br /&gt; Doing cartwheels 'cross the floor &lt;br /&gt; Just forget it alright.

=== ''[[w:Aerial (album)|Aerial]]'' (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/sensual/tsw_aerial.html Full lyrics online]&lt;/small&gt;

==== A Sea of Honey (Disc 1) ====
[[File:Elvis Presley 1970.jpg|thumb|right|[[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a [[happy]] man?]]
'''[[w:King of the Mountain (song)|King of the Mountain]]'''

* '''Could you see the aisles of women? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see them screaming and weeping? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the [[storm]] rising? &lt;br /&gt; Could you see the guy who was driving? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb higher and higher? &lt;br /&gt; Could you climb right over the top?'''

* [[Elvis]] are you out there somewhere &lt;br /&gt; Looking like a happy man? &lt;br /&gt; In the snow with ''[[w:Citizen_Kane#.22Rosebud.22|Rosebud|]]'' &lt;br /&gt; And King of the Mountain.

* Another Hollywood waitress &lt;br /&gt; Is telling us she's having your baby &lt;br /&gt; And there's a rumour that you're on ice &lt;br /&gt; And you will rise again someday. '''

[[File:PP 1280x1024.jpg|thumb|right|Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive [[nature]] and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For [[numbers]]…]]
'''π'''

* '''Sweet and gentle and sensitive man &lt;br /&gt; With an obsessive nature and deep fascination &lt;br /&gt; For numbers &lt;br /&gt; And a complete infatuation with the calculation &lt;br /&gt; Of π.'''

[[File:Pi-unrolled slow.gif|thumb|right|He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]]…]]
* He does love his numbers &lt;br /&gt; And they run, they run, they run him &lt;br /&gt; In a great big [[circle]] &lt;br /&gt; In a circle of [[infinity]] &lt;br /&gt; 3.14159 26535897932 3846 264 338 3279...

'''Bertie'''

* '''Here comes the sunshine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes that son of mine &lt;br /&gt; Here comes the everything &lt;br /&gt; Here's a song and a song for him.

* You bring me so much joy &lt;br /&gt; And then you bring me &lt;br /&gt; More joy...

'''Mrs. Bartolozzi'''

* Oh and the waves are going out &lt;br /&gt; Oh and the waves are coming in &lt;br /&gt; Out of the corner of my eye &lt;br /&gt; I think I see you standing outside &lt;br /&gt; But it's just your shirt &lt;br /&gt; Hanging on the washing line &lt;br /&gt; Waving it's arm as the wind blows by &lt;br /&gt; And it looks so alive &lt;br /&gt; Nice and white &lt;br /&gt; Just like it's climbed right out &lt;br /&gt; of my washing machine...

'''How To Be Invisible'''

* '''I found a book on how to be invisible &lt;br /&gt; You take a pinch of keyhole, &lt;br /&gt; And fold yourself up, &lt;br /&gt; You cut along the dotted lines. &lt;br /&gt; You think inside out. &lt;br /&gt; You're invisible.'''

[[File:Joan-of-Arc-Paris.jpg|thumb|right| [[Joan of Arc|Joanni]] wears a golden cross and she looks so [[beautiful]] in her armour…]]
'''[[Joan of Arc|Joanni]]'''

* '''All the banners stop waving &lt;br /&gt; And the flags stop flying &lt;br /&gt; And the silence comes over &lt;br /&gt; Thousands of soldiers...'''

* '''Who is that girl? Do I know her face?'''

* Joanni, Joanni wears a golden cross &lt;br /&gt; And she looks so beautiful in her armour &lt;br /&gt; Joanni, Joanni blows a kiss to God &lt;br /&gt; And she never wears a ring on her finger...

'''A Coral Room'''

* There's a city, draped in net &lt;br /&gt; Fisherman net &lt;br /&gt; And in the half light, in the half light &lt;br /&gt; It looks like every tower &lt;br /&gt; Is covered in webs &lt;br /&gt; Moving and glistening and rocking &lt;br /&gt; It's babies in rhythm &lt;br /&gt; As the spider of time is climbing &lt;br /&gt; Over the ruins.

* Put your hand over the side of the boat &lt;br /&gt; What do you feel?

* My mother and her little brown jug &lt;br /&gt; It held her milk &lt;br /&gt; And now it holds our memories...

==== A Sky of Honey (Disc 2) ====
[[File:Sturnella neglecta2.jpg|thumb|right|We're gonna be [[laughing]] about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be [[dancing]] around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so [[good]] [[now]].]]

'''Prelude'''

* Mummy... &lt;br /&gt; Daddy... &lt;br /&gt; The day is full of birds &lt;br /&gt; Sounds like they're saying words...
** Spoken by Bush's son, Berty.

'''Prologue'''

* We're gonna be laughing about this &lt;br /&gt; We're gonna be dancing around &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good now.

* It's gonna be so good now &lt;br /&gt; It's gonna be so good &lt;br /&gt; Can you see the lark ascending?

* Oh will you come with us &lt;br /&gt; To find the song of the oil and the brush?

'''An Architect's Dream'''
[[File:Psyche et LAmour.jpg|thumb|right|Watching the painter [[painting]] &lt;br /&gt; And all the [[time]], the [[light]] is [[changing]] &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting…]]

* Watching the painter painting &lt;br /&gt; And all the time, the light is changing &lt;br /&gt; And he keeps painting &lt;br /&gt; That bit there, it was an accident &lt;br /&gt; But he's so pleased &lt;br /&gt; It's the best mistake, he could make &lt;br /&gt; And it's my favourite piece. &lt;br /&gt; It's just great.

'''The Painter's Link'''
[[File:Blackbird-sunset-03.jpg|thumb|right|Who [[knows]] who wrote that [[song]] of [[summer]], &lt;br /&gt; That [[blackbirds]] [[sing]] at dusk…]]

* So all the colours run &lt;br /&gt; See what they have become &lt;br /&gt; A wonderful sunset

'''Sunset'''

* '''Who knows who wrote that song of summer, &lt;br /&gt; That blackbirds sing at dusk, &lt;br /&gt; This is a song of colour, &lt;br /&gt; Where sands sing in crimson, red and rust, &lt;br /&gt; Then climb into bed and turn to dust. '''

* Every sleepy light &lt;br /&gt; Must say goodbye &lt;br /&gt; To the day before it dies &lt;br /&gt; In a sea of honey &lt;br /&gt; A sky of honey &lt;br /&gt; Keep us close to your heart &lt;br /&gt; So if the skies turn dark &lt;br /&gt; We may live on in &lt;br /&gt; Comets and stars.

'''Somewhere In Between'''

* '''It was just so beautiful. 

* '''This is where the shadows come to play twixt the day &lt;br /&gt; And night &lt;br /&gt; Dancing and skipping &lt;br /&gt; Along a chink of light

* Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The waxing and the waning wave &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; What the song and the silence says &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; The ticking and the tocking clock &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in a dream between &lt;br /&gt; Sleep and waking up &lt;br /&gt; Somewhere in between &lt;br /&gt; Breathing out and breathing in &lt;br /&gt; Like twilight is neither night nor morning

* Not one of us would dare to break &lt;br /&gt; The silence &lt;br /&gt; And, oh how we have longed &lt;br /&gt; For something that would &lt;br /&gt; Make us feel so...

'''Nocturn'''


* Could be in a dream &lt;br /&gt; Our clothes are on the beach &lt;br /&gt; These prints of our feet &lt;br /&gt; Lead right up to the sea &lt;br /&gt; No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; '''No one, no one is here &lt;br /&gt; We stand in the Atlantic &lt;br /&gt; We become panoramic...'''

* The stars are caught in our hair &lt;br /&gt; The stars are on our fingers &lt;br /&gt; A veil of diamond dust &lt;br /&gt; Just reach up and touch it &lt;br /&gt; '''The sky's above our heads &lt;br /&gt; The sea's around our legs &lt;br /&gt; In milky, silky water &lt;br /&gt; We swim further and further...'''

[[File:Sunrise-Daytona-Beach-FL.jpg|thumb|right|Oh the [[dawn]] has come &lt;br /&gt; And the [[song]] must be [[sung]] &lt;br /&gt; And the [[flowers]] are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of [[language]] is this?]]
* We dive deeper and deeper &lt;br /&gt; Could be we are here &lt;br /&gt; Could be in my [[dream]] &lt;br /&gt; It came up on the horizon &lt;br /&gt; Rising and rising &lt;br /&gt; In a [[sea]] of honey, a [[sky]] of honey.

[[File:SwansCygnus olor edit2.jpg|thumb|right|[[All]] of the [[birds]] are [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.]]
* Bright, white coming alive jumping off of the aerial &lt;br /&gt; All the time it's a changing, like now...

* '''All the time it's a changing &lt;br /&gt; And all the dreamers are waking.'''

'''Aerial'''

* '''Oh the dawn has come &lt;br /&gt; And the song must be sung &lt;br /&gt; And the flowers are melting. &lt;br /&gt; What kind of language is this?'''

* I can't hear a word you're saying &lt;br /&gt; Tell me what are you singing &lt;br /&gt; In the sun

* '''All of the birds are laughing &lt;br /&gt; Come on let's all join in.'''

=== ''[[w:50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'' (2011) ===
[[File:Metatrons cube.svg|thumb|right|I was born in a cloud… &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.]]
[[File:Heart in snow.jpg|thumb|right|We've been in love forever.]]&lt;!-- [[File:Ka symbol.svg|thumb|right|Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.]] --&gt;
[[File:Cloches du soir.jpg|thumb|right|I can see [[angels]] standing around you. &lt;br /&gt; 
They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it.]]
[[File:Sq door handle.jpg|thumb|right| There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.]]

'''Snowflake''' 

* '''I was born in a cloud... &lt;br /&gt; Now I am falling. &lt;br /&gt; I want you to catch me.''' &lt;br /&gt; Look up and you'll see me. &lt;br /&gt; You know you can hear me. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

* '''I am ice and dust. I am sky.''' &lt;br /&gt; I can see horses wading through snowdrifts. &lt;br /&gt; My broken hearts, my fabulous dances. &lt;br /&gt; My fleeting song, fleeting. &lt;br /&gt; The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.

'''[[w:Wild Man (Kate Bush song)|Wild Man]]'''

* Lying in my tent &lt;br /&gt; I can hear your cry &lt;br /&gt; Echoing round the mountainside &lt;br /&gt; You sound lonely

* [[w:Yeti|You]] were [[playing]] in the [[snow]] &lt;br /&gt; You were banging on the [[doors]] &lt;br /&gt; You climbed up on the roof &lt;br /&gt; Roof of the [[world]] &lt;br /&gt; You were pulling up the rhododendrons &lt;br /&gt; Loping down the mountain &lt;p&gt; They want to know you &lt;br /&gt; They will hunt you down &lt;br /&gt; Then they will kill you &lt;br /&gt; Run away, run away... &lt;p&gt; We found your footprints in the snow &lt;br /&gt; We brushed them all away... &lt;p&gt; You're the [[wild]] man.
'''Snowed In at Wheeler Street'''

* Excuse me I'm sorry to bother you, &lt;br /&gt; But don't I know you? &lt;br /&gt; There's just something about you. &lt;br /&gt; Haven't we met before? &lt;p&gt; '''We've been in love forever.'''

* When we got on top of the hill, &lt;br /&gt; We saw Rome burning. &lt;br /&gt; I just let you walk away. &lt;br /&gt; I've never forgiven myself.

* And I'd never know where you'd gonna be next &lt;br /&gt; But I'd know that you'd surprise me. 

'''Among Angels''' 

* Only you can do something about it. &lt;br /&gt; There's no-one there, my friend, any better.

* '''Aren't we all the same? In and out of doubt. &lt;br /&gt; I can see [[angels]] standing around you.''' &lt;br /&gt; They shimmer like mirrors in Summer. &lt;br /&gt; But you don't know it. &lt;br /&gt; And they will carry you o'er the walls. &lt;br /&gt; If you need us, just call.

* '''There's someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.''' &lt;br /&gt; You might feel it and just not show it.

=== Singles and rarities ===

[[File:Mourning angel.jpg|thumb| [[All]] the [[worlds]] they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier…]]
'''Disbelieving Angel''' (unreleased demo, c. 1973)
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/song/tda.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''So much for all the [[prayers]] you've [[learned]]. &lt;br /&gt; They are no help to basic needs. &lt;br /&gt; And all the worlds they've shown you &lt;br /&gt; Just make you even greedier.'''

* I feel so sorry for you, &lt;br /&gt; Believing because they control. &lt;br /&gt; And of all the guardian [[angels]] &lt;br /&gt; They chose me to save your soul! &lt;br /&gt; '''Oh, I'm just trying to explain, &lt;br /&gt; I'm a disbelieving angel.'''

'''Passing Through Air''' (1978)

* '''Passing through [[air]]. &lt;br /&gt; You mix the [[stars]] with your arms.''' &lt;br /&gt; Walking through there. &lt;br /&gt; The [[doom]] of [[eternity]] balms. &lt;br /&gt; [[Skies]] of grey are not today.

* Oh! Don't you throw my [[love]] away, &lt;br /&gt; I need your loving, I need your loving...

''' The Magician''' (1979)

* '''When you reach for a [[Stars|star]] &lt;br /&gt; Only [[angels]] are there &lt;br /&gt; And it's not very far &lt;br /&gt; Just a step on a stair &lt;br /&gt; Take a look at those [[clowns]] &lt;br /&gt; And the tricks that they play &lt;br /&gt; In the circus of life &lt;br /&gt; Life is bitter and gay &lt;p&gt; There are clowns in the night &lt;br /&gt; Clowns everywhere &lt;br /&gt; See how they run &lt;br /&gt; Run from despair ...
** This was a song written for the soundtrack of ''[[w:The Magician of Lublin (film)|The Magician of Lublin]]'' (1979), based on the 1960 novel by [[Isaac Bashevis Singer]]; Kate's singing of it appears at times in the background within the film - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkfbkVKmbG0 YouTube video] 

* When the [[fantasy]] bells &lt;br /&gt; Of the [[universe]] ring &lt;br /&gt; You can fly through the [[sky]] &lt;br /&gt; On a dragonfly's wing. &lt;br /&gt; '''There is [[magic]] within &lt;br /&gt; There is magic without &lt;br /&gt; Follow me and you'll learn &lt;br /&gt; Just what life's all about.'''

'''[[w:December Will Be Magic Again|December Will Be Magic Again]]''' (1980)

* ''[[December]] will be [[magic]] again.'' &lt;br /&gt; Take a husky to the ice &lt;br /&gt; While [[w:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]] sings [[w:White Christmas (song)|White Christmas]]. &lt;br /&gt; He makes you feel nice. &lt;br /&gt; '''December will be magic again.'''

* See how I fall like the snow, &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the lovers, &lt;br /&gt; (But don't you wake them up) &lt;br /&gt; Come to sparkle the dark up, &lt;br /&gt; With just a touch of make up. &lt;br /&gt; Come to cover the muck up. &lt;br /&gt; ''' Ooh with a little luck — &lt;br /&gt; December will be magic again. '''

* December will be magic again. &lt;br /&gt; Don't miss the brightest star, &lt;br /&gt; Kiss under mistletoe, &lt;br /&gt; '''I want to hear you laugh, &lt;br /&gt; Don't let the mystery go now.'''

[[File:Rosa sp.181.jpg|thumb|Go right to the [[rose]]. Go right to the white rose …]]
'''Warm And Soothing''' (1980)

* Warm and soothing &lt;br /&gt; That's how I remember home. &lt;br /&gt; Walking into arms through the back door &lt;br /&gt; Hearing voices I know well and long for.

* I'm reeling in the music, &lt;br /&gt; And I've only had a few... &lt;br /&gt; And I'm afraid by the way we grow old... &lt;br /&gt; My darling...

'''Under the Ivy''' (1985)
[[File:Efeu Blatt.JPG|thumb| It's not easy for me to give away a [[secret]] — It's not [[safe]]…]]
* '''This little girl inside me &lt;br /&gt; Is retreating to her favourite place. &lt;br /&gt; Go into the garden. &lt;br /&gt; Go under the ivy, &lt;br /&gt; Under the leaves, &lt;br /&gt; Away from the party. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the rose. &lt;br /&gt; Go right to the white rose &lt;br /&gt; (For me.)'''

* ''' It's not easy for me &lt;br /&gt; To give away a secret — &lt;br /&gt; It's not safe...'''

[[File:Joseph Mallord William Turner, English - The Burning of the Houses of Lords and Commons, October 16, 1834 - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb| As we cross the [[bridge]] — the burning bridge — With [[flames]] behind us, We front the line. It's you and me, baby, against the [[world]].]]
'''Burning Bridge''' (1985)
* ''' I know it works for me. &lt;br /&gt; As we cross the bridge — the burning bridge — &lt;br /&gt; With flames behind us, &lt;br /&gt; We front the line. &lt;br /&gt; It's you and me, baby, against the world.'''

'''Be Kind To My Mistakes''' (1986)
:&lt;small&gt;Song for the film [[w:Castaway (Lucy Irvine)|''Castaway'' (1986)]]; later included in the collection ''This Woman's Work''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I don't know you, &lt;br /&gt; And you don't know me. &lt;br /&gt; It is this that brings us together. '''

'''You Want Alchemy''' (B-side of [[w:The Red Shoes (song)|The Red Shoes]] single) (4 April 1994)
[[File:Winged Sun alchemical.jpg|thumb|right|Did you [[know]] they can [[change]] it [[all]]? &lt;br /&gt; They got [[alchemy]].]]

* What a lovely afternoon &lt;br /&gt; On a [[w:Cloudbusting|cloudbusting]] kind of day. &lt;br /&gt; We took our own 'Mystery Tour' &lt;br /&gt; And got completely lost somewhere up in the hills. &lt;p&gt; And we came up on a bee-keeper, &lt;br /&gt; And he said &quot;'''Did you know they can change it all?'''&quot; 

* '''They got [[alchemy]].''' &lt;br /&gt; They turn the roses into gold &lt;br /&gt; They turn the lilac into honey &lt;br /&gt; They're making love for the peaches. &lt;p&gt; '''And they'll do it, &lt;br /&gt; Do it for you.'''

== Quotes about Kate Bush ==
:&lt;small&gt;Arranged alphabetically by author.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Emilybronte retouche.jpg|thumb|right|People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that song. ~ Alan Bentley]]

* '''One of the main things that brings people to the Brontë Museum from all over the world is Kate Bush.''' We have copies of her No 1 hit single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; in our collection of [[Emily Brontë|Brontë]]-related items. '''People often arrive at the Brontë novels through that [[song]].'''
** Alan Bentley, director of the [http://www.bronte.org.uk/Brontë Parsonage Museum]

* To me, Kate Bush will always represent the age of exploring your sexuality, when you change from a girl to a woman. I guess that's what I found fascinating about Kate, she totally stuck out. She created her own look and sound. There's a timelessness to her music.
** [[Björk]]

* I think she is still relevant. It's nice to see people reinvent themselves. She was a great performer and a great singer. I like that song, you know the one, &quot;It's me, I'm Cathy…&quot; I love that song. I remember listening to it growing up.
** [[w:Mutya Buena|Mutya Buena]] of [[w:Sugababes|Sugababes]]

* '''I know this may give her a mystique and make the press all the more curious about her, but that's not the intention; it's not a ploy to get her more attention. She genuinely doesn't see why people should be interested in her personal life and she certainly doesn't like going out to clubs or trendy restaurants. It's just not her.'''
** Paddy Bush, Kate's brother, as quoted in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; by Amy Standen, in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* For me, it's not important how well the songs will be received because I think she's already an amazing influence in what she's done. I listen to her stuff a lot while I sketch and I think there is a weird sense of emotional encouragement in her work. There's something therapeutic in her voice and in her attitude, so that sometimes just listening to it can encourage you or give you some kind of energy.
** [http://www.widemedia.com/fashionuk/fashion/catwalk-archive/lfw-ss01/hc.html Hussein Chalayan, fashion designer]

* I didn't realise how commercially successful she might be. I thought of her more really, I suppose, in the terms of someone like [[Joni Mitchell]] — the level of a lady who's very talented, but would appeal to a more esoteric audience. But she had different ideas.
** [[David Gilmour]] of [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] who helped Kate's career get started.

* '''Kate Bush's celebrated full return to the stage after a 35-year absence is proving that absence makes the heart grow fonder.''' Eight positions of the current British albums chart are occupied by the art-rock icon's albums, according to ''The New York Times'', which sets a new record for the artist, whose 1978 debut single &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; made her the first female in British charts history to have a self-written Number One. &lt;br /&gt; In addition to being the only woman in U.K. charts history to have that many albums in the Top 40, Bush is now trailing [[Elvis Presley]] and the [[Beatles]] for having simultaneous Top 40 records; Presley had 12 at one point in his career, while the Beatles, at another time, had 11.
** Kory Grow, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/kate-bush-pens-letter-thanking-fans-following-concert-run-20141022 &quot;Kate Bush Lands Eight Albums on British Chart Following Comeback Shows&quot;, in ''Rolling Stone'' (2 September 2014)]

* One of music's most reclusive and enigmatic figures has re-emerged into what some have seen as a rich era for British female singer-songwriters. Bush's new double album, ''Aerial'', is due out in November, only her eighth after three decades in the business. It will be treated with due reverence.
** Terry Kirby in [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece ''The Independent''] (2 September 2005)

* That's a song where we were listening to a lot of Kate Bush last summer, and we wanted a song which had a lot of tom-toms in it,I just had my daughter up also, and was kind of feeling in a sense of awe and wonderment, so the song is kind of a Kate Bush song about miracles.
** [[Chris Martin]], on the links between [[Coldplay]]'s song &quot;Speed of Sound&quot; and Kate Bush's &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running up that Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;. He later said &quot;we tried to copy the drums, guitar, melody….etc&quot;

* '''Of course she's still relevant. I wasn't actually in the country when her music first came out, so I only discovered it three or four years ago. What's amazing is that something like &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; still sounds so different.''' I actually saw her about nine months ago, we were just passing at an industry event and I went up to her and said I was a big fan and asked her about the new record. She was really excited about it but quite nervous because she felt that everyone was hyping it up a bit and she just wanted to bring out an album. You know, she's a musician.
** [[Katie Melua]]

* Her music remains reassuringly the same ecstatic alchemy of the humdrum and otherworldly. Recalling the hello-clouds wonder of The Big Sky from 1985's ''Hounds of Love'' or the frank paean to menstruation that is Strange Phenomena from her debut, ''The Kick Inside'', ''Aerial'' finds Bush marvelling in the magic of the everyday: the wind animating a skirt hanging on a clothes line, the trace of footprints leading into the sea, the indecipherable codes of birdsong.
** ''MOJO'' magazine as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1601608,00.html ''The Guardian''] (28 October 2005)

* '''I simply think she is one of the greatest figures in British music over the last 30 years. There are an awful lot of people in the business wandering around claiming to be artists, but she is one of the few who can genuinely make that claim... I don't think there is any competition, she's on a different level and quite outside them all.'''
** Paul Rees, editor of ''Q'' Magazine, as quoted in ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

* Could Keely Garfield be the Kate Bush of downtown dance? The question is raised by “Wow,” the bizarre, hilarious, enthralling, confounding and cathartic new work that Ms. Garfield presented on Thursday at Danspace Project. Surely it is the recent comeback tour of Ms. Bush that has put that singer-songwriter on Ms. Garfield's mind. But it is “Wow” that suggests the comparison: two British-born women, intensely idiosyncratic and theatrical with outlandish taste in costumes, who follow their imaginations uninhibitedly. &lt;br /&gt; The salient difference would seem to be irony. Much of Ms. Bush's power stems from her absolute [[sincerity]], the sense that she is unaware that anyone might find what she's doing ridiculous. But Ms. Garfield has always been wry, droll, deadpan. Her assertion in a program note that she meant “Wow” to be “entirely sincere without a hint of irony or cleverness” cannot and should not be taken as entirely sincere. &lt;br /&gt; The program also credits Matthew Brookshire with “music inspired by the poetry of Kate Bush.” What we actually hear, though, are Kate Bush songs. Some are played in the original recordings, some chopped up and looped, but most are performed live by the marvelous Mr. Brookshire, on vocals and piano, joined by Ms. Garfield and her four terrific dancers. The arrangements are stripped down and seductively vibrant. Some lyrics are recited in a manner between sports cheer and Greek chorus. Some singsongy melodies are swapped for the tunes of actual nursery rhymes. &lt;br /&gt; Ms. Garfield, in other words, does not shy from the naïveté of her material. Much of her choreography illustrates the lyrics literally, in the manner of a children's pageant.
** Brian Seibert, in [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/18/arts/dance/keely-garfield-draws-on-kate-bush-at-danspace-project.html &quot;Sincerity and Irony Meet on the Dance Floor&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (17 December 2014)]

* '''With a voice you either love or hate, she belts out a song with a desperation that grabs you and won't let go.'''
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* Bush has always teetered dangerously at the edge of sentimentality and cliché, and her early songs (what one reviewer called her “soft-focus Victorian melodramas”) could have gone all wrong had her bizarre phrasing not somehow let us know how serious she was. &lt;br /&gt; '''Bush sang melodramas, but she meant them like truth; those “oohs” aren't filler. The conviction in her voice, the baldness and great crushing desperation of it, is overpowering.''' It's the kind of music that grabs your innards and you turn it up, squint your eyes with the strain of it. Kate Bush was younger than 20 when she wrote “Wuthering Heights.” She couldn't (and still can't) read or write music, but she knew how to make a song true, how to up the tension with a key change, repeat the chorus with a hardness in her voice. &lt;br /&gt; She was a prodigy, an 18-year-old who looked 35, with an ethereal voice and a knack for inventive songwriting. She looks, in photos of the time, simultaneously naive and defiant, like someone who doesn't need other people. Much later in life, when she was asked in an interview with ''Rolling Stone'' why she toured so infrequently, Bush replied: “'''The more I got into presenting things to the world, the further it was taking me away from what I was, which was someone who just used to sit quietly at a piano and sing and play. It became very important to me not to lose sight of that.'''” &lt;br /&gt; In other words, Bush decided early on that our approval didn't matter. She was doing this from herself and largely for herself and if people didn't like her, or if they didn't understand her, well then, screw them.
** [[w:Amy Standen|Amy Standen]] , in [http://www.salon.com/2001/03/20/kate_bush/ &quot;Kate Bush&quot; in ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)]

* I'm really looking forward to Kate Bush's return — I'm no expert on her work but I know some of it and I think she's an incredibly original and talented artist. Anyone who writes most of an album like her first album, ''The Kick Inside'', at 15 years old has got to be pretty special.
** [[w:KT Tunstall|KT Tunstall]]

* '''When EMI invites a group of journalists to the Royal Academy of Music, in London, for a one-off listen to Kate Bush's new album, they are sending a clear signal — this album is not to be dismissed lightly.'''
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is, in a sense, a lyric poem set to music. Full of lush, fecund melodies which swing from jazz to rock, it is threaded through with bird song and chatter and feels distinctly organic and earthy.... Side two is the album Pink Floyd might have made if Kate Bush had been their lead singer and lyricist in 1979.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)
** '''Bush has written a lyric poem set to music, which has an epic quality, transporting the listener to a deeply lush and fertile landscape.''' Lyrically cryptic, but strangely seductive, side two is the album [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]] might have made in 1979 if Bush had been their lead singer. &lt;br /&gt; '''Concept albums are not everyone's cup of tea — but this is a masterpiece.'''
*** Variant in a later [http://web.archive.org/web/20090115012224/http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/release/fprg/ BBC summary review] 

* ''A Sky of Honey'' is a celebration of song itself, which has a child's joyful lack of inhibition about it — Kate Bush is heard laughing freely towards the end while a young child, possibly her son, is heard several times... Aerial stands alongside The Hounds of Love and The Kick Inside as her finest work.
** Darren Waters in a BBC Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial''] (28 October 2005)

* I always heard about Kate Bush being considered one of the most influential female artists during the modern era of pop/rock music, but never understood what her appeal was... But when I recently stumbled upon her debut 1978 single, &quot;Wuthering Heights,&quot; I found myself spending hours absorbing as much of her pre-1985 material as possible . . . Listening to an early Kate Bush album brings you far, far, away to a dreamworld filled with pixies and love and Peter Pan and pure hearts . . .''' &quot;Wuthering Heights&quot; and the rest of ''The Kick Inside'' display all of Bush's trademarks: a literary consciousness; flourishing, heartfelt waves and the ability to successfully incorporate just about every eccentric vocal style you've never heard into each song.'''
** Jared Wolfe, in ''The Cornell Daily Sun'' (20 October 2005)

* '''Illusion, dance, mime, even magic — the Tour of Life, as it was called, had the lot.''' &lt;br /&gt; I shan't forget the way those [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]]-like whale sounds that open The Kick Inside album heralded Kate's entry to the stage as waves were projected on huge screens and her band launched into Moving. &lt;br /&gt; For a split second, the audience thought Kate was lip-synching because there was no microphone, but in pre-dating Madonna by a couple of decades, she was wearing a headset to allow free movement around the stage. &lt;br /&gt; Every song from that first album was performed before the switch to stuff from follow-up Lionheart, virtually every number warranting a change of costume and stage set. ... '''The entire show was pure theatre.'''
** Jade Wright, quoting a fan who was at the opening of Kate's one and only musical tour, in [http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-entertainment/liverpool-arts/2007/10/29/kate-bush-at-the-empire-april-3-1979-100252-20025105/ &quot;Kate Bush at the Empire, April 3, 1979&quot; by Jade Wright in the ''Liverpool Echo'' (29 October 2007)]

=== The Unique Poetry Of Kate Bush (1985) ===
[[File:Rosen - Frederick Delius.jpg|thumb|Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her [[music]] will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it. ~ Sue Hudson]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://gaffa.org/reaching/i85_hifi.html Review by Sue Hudson] in ''Hi-Fi &amp; Record Review'' (December 1985)&lt;/small&gt;

* We've been holding our breath for a long time. Three years of playing the old songs and wondering &quot;whatever next?&quot; Would it be even weirder than ''The Dreaming?'' Would it leave more admirers by the wayside, shaking their heads?... The real fans will happily go along for the ride, even if she isn't going the pretty way. 

* '''Kate journeys into new and exciting territories. She is an original in a [[music]] [[world]] dominated by cover versions, regressive movements and identikit superstars.''' The direct opposite of the archetypal rock star: compulsively introvert in a world of screaming extraverts, middle-class and deeply English amid England's all-pervasive working class American ethos, boldly feminine in rock's macho climate. '''Her melodic genius and articulate lyrics make the rest seem moronically simplistic.'''

* After a thousand songs on the theme of boy-meets-girl-boy-loses-girl or Thatcher's Britain, exposure to her music comes as an imaginative release as we go giddily flying into the limitless possibilities of the poetic viewpoint. Here is talk of whales, of Peter Pan, kites, Houdini, mysticism... '''Acquaintances have observed, &quot;She lives in a world of her own.&quot; But it's a world that lives within [[all]] of us, and her [[songs]] shine [[light]] into neglected areas of our [[minds]].'''

* Her subjects come tripping from library shelves, television and cinema screens and musty books of fairy tales, the stuff that dreams are made of. She spins tunes that haunt, twist and turn the mind, triggering long forgotten moods. Listening intently to her albums is an experience akin to having a lucid and feverish dream. [[Jungian]] [[symbols]] of youth, [[innocence]], [[spiritual]] escape and the dark, feminine realm abound. [[Ghosts]] haunt the black vinyl grooves... But it's not all brooding intensity. There are [[jokes]], too...

* '''It's a mischievous [[paradox]] that, while rock at its ultra-macho best is exhilarating and energizing, yet just at the moment when it is most strident and loud it leaves you needing something more. Then along comes a shy doctor's daughter from Welling who out-screams the best, out-powers the noisiest and tops it with the satisfying impact of musical and psychological depth.''' It's almost [[Richard Wagner|Wagnerian]].'''

* '''Her [[talent]] was precocious.''' &quot;The Saxophone Song&quot; and &quot;The Man With the Child in His Eyes&quot; were recorded as demo tapes when Kate was still at school. The first album, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]]'' (1978), caused tremendous media interest and is still the public's favourite. '''Her [[voice]], criticized at the time, was small and childlike, the range erratic, if impressive. Since then it has improved enormously, deepening and gaining power and flexibility, until now it is a great asset, individual and capable of both subtle and stunning effects.'''

* The album ''[[w:Never for Ever|Never for Ever]]'' came next and starts in happy mood, with a summer night of a cha-cha-cha tribute to a new-found hero, &quot;[[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]]&quot;. The philosophic All We Ever Look For creates a remarkable and rare mood of reassurance and upbeat resignation, a Bush specialty . . . The end comes in the horrifying &quot;Breathing&quot;, a vision of the nuclear holocaust through the eyes of an unborn child.

* On to ''[[w:The Dreaming|The Dreaming]]'', a strange, alien album full of [[mysticism]] and obscurantae. Its impact owes much to sheer production quality. Kate has gradually taken over this aspect of her records since ''[[w:Lionheart|Lionheart]]'', and each LP is technically more impressive. Her voice here is forward and strong and, on &quot;Leave It Open&quot;, deliberately distorted to create a surreal effect. Get Out of My House is a shattering trip into madness, with a stunning culmination which finds Kate braying like a mule amid a chorus of Indian drum talk.

* The new album, ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'', breaks new ground for Kate with the b-side. This is a story — The Ninth Wave — told in a series of songs, like a Pink Floyd concept album.

* '''Casual listeners will miss the depth of the music.''' You must sit down with the lyric sheet and find out what's going on. All the vocal acrobatics and weird sounds click into place when you know what ideas, stories and situations they are expressing. In most rock and pop, the music and words may be linked, but are basically separate. '''Kate creates, more and more, a fusion between the two — the sounds directly expressing the subject.''' This is a throwback to Wagner's music-drama, with its leitmotifs, turning music into an idea. The [[Beatles]] revived the technique, and bands of the hippy era like [[Pink Floyd]] carried the banner. . . Kate is fast becoming a master in the use of this sonic montage, perhaps because the ideas she is using are far more complex, have more &quot;resonances&quot;, than those of her contemporaries.

* '''Kate will never be an academic artist, drily applying intellectual music theory to the delight of a handful of peers, forging into new areas for the sake of &quot;progress&quot;. Her style is personal, individual, impressionistic. Like [[w:Frederick Delius|Delius]], her music will always flow from [[poetic]] [[necessity]], breaking from the confines of tradition because expression demands it.''' I just hope that she will have the confidence to follow her instincts and not be discouraged by the music press, who in the main are baffled and annoyed by her uniqueness. Unable to pigeon-hole her music, they turn instead to ridicule and condescension to fill the pages. Which is a disservice to the British public who, to their undying credit, have made Kate Bush such a popular success.

===Kate Bush rules, OK? (2005) ===
[[File:Let Love Rule.jpg|thumb|right|Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Article by [[w:Michael Berkeley|Michael Berkeley]], published in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1589379,00.html ''The Guardian''] (11 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* When the conductor Richard Hickox rang me one day in 1984 to ask if I could help with a rather unusual job for which he and his choir had been engaged, I was intrigued. Kate Bush, it transpired, was working on her new album, ''Hounds of Love'', and for one track, Hello Earth, she wanted a chorus to recreate the orthodox singing/chanting that made such a contribution to the film ''[[Nosferatu]]''.

* '''I had always considered Kate Bush truly original both as a performer and as a songwriter with an unusually fresh sense of harmony.''' If her new album next month is awaited with some excitement after a long fallow period, then in 1985 it was assumed that ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]'' would be something of a final fling at the conclusion of a waning career. '''I soon realised how wrong this assumption was when Kate sent me a cassette''': it was zany, ambitious and yet utterly Kate Bush, but with gaps where I was to do her bidding. Having chatted at length, she sent me a long letter with the words of the song and precise instructions on how it should unfold...''' Structure was carefully delineated, verses and choruses written out fully and marked up in colour, and she talked of the sound quality in the most graphic terms.'''

* '''Although she had piano and violin lessons at school, Bush is essentially self-taught.''' I have always been fascinated by the difference of dynamics at work between popular artists and conventionally trained classical musicians, and had a similar experience with [[The Edge|the Edge]], of [[U2]], when we worked together on the score of a film called ''Captive''. '''In fact, gifted &quot;pop&quot; musicians like Bush and U2 are far more demanding of themselves in the studio than classical musicians can afford to be, and will spend days working on a tiny fragment.'''

* Come the recording day, a group of male choristers, more accustomed to singing church services than backing vocals, descended on Bush's home, which was equipped with its own studio. Doubtless they were imagining that they were about to meet a wild-eyed rock babe, but Kate, quiet and unassuming — the kind of sympathetic, slightly shy girl who greets you from behind the counter at the local chemist — introduced us to her friend the bass player [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], who engineered the session. None of the singers or Richard had ever gone over and over four or five phrases so exactingly. No measure of Bach or Mozart had, in their experience, been subjected to such surgical scrutiny, and I began to worry that their voices might begin to tire. '''But Bush knew and got what she wanted and &quot;Hello Earth&quot; is, I think, a remarkable track on the album that finally broke the American market and established her as an iconic and hugely influential figure. I can't wait to hear what she has been up to now.'''

=== Admit it, guys, she's a genius (2005) ===
[[File:Genius logo.png|thumb|right|For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html Article by Kitty Empire, in ''The Observer''] (30 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''For me, Kate Bush was always a trump card when the tiresome 'question' of female artistic [[genius]] came up.''' ... Before disgust stopped me getting dragged into these skirmishes, I had a ready arsenal of Girl Greats — [[Patti Smith]], [[Björk]], [[w:Nina Simone|Nina Simone]], [[w:Delia Derbyshire|Delia Derbyshire]], [[w:Polly Harvey|Polly Harvey]], and so on. And yet, there would often be some caveat why genius eluded my candidates (ripped off Dylan etc). '''Until we would get to Kate. Female genius? Kate Bush. End of. &lt;br /&gt; ''Aerial'', the first Kate Bush album in a young lifetime (12 years), re-establishes the fact. It is extraordinary — jaw-dropping, no less.'''

* ''Aerial'' succeeds because it's all there for a reason. And because the good stuff is just so sublime. 'King of the Mountain', Bush's Elvis-inspired single, is both a fine opener and a total red herring. Bush's juices really get going on 'Pi', a sentimental ode to a mathematician, audacious in both subject matter and treatment. The chorus is the number sung to many, many decimal places. It's closely followed by a gushing ode to Bush's son, Bertie, that's stark and medieval-sounding. The rest of disc one (aka ''A Sea of Honey'') sets a very high bar for disc two, with the Joan of Arc-themed 'Joanni' and the downright poppy 'How to Be Invisible' raising the hair on your arms into a Mexican wave. &lt;br /&gt; Disc two, subtitled ''A Sky of Honey'', is a suite of nine tracks which, among other things, charts the passage of light from afternoon ('Prologue') to evening ('An Architect's Dream', 'The Painter's Link') and through the night until dawn. Things get a little hairier here.

* '''It's clear Bush is still a force to be reckoned with. The problem, though, with female genius — for many men at least — is that very frequently it is not like male genius. And with its songs about children, washing machines going 'slooshy sloshy', Joan of Arc, Bush's mother, not to mention the almost pagan sensuality that runs through here like a pulse, Aerial is, arguably, the most female album in the world, ever.''' ... the artistry here is so dizzying, the ambition and scope so vast, that even the deafest, most inveterate misogynist could not fail to acknowledge it. '''Genius. End of.'''

=== Kate Bush: Finally, something for the grown-ups (2005) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''The Independent'' (31 October 2005)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Such is the idiosyncratic nature of her work that she could probably disappear for a half-century and still sustain her own unique position in the pop firmament.''' But then, who else would write about an obsessive-compulsive housewife or attempt a vocal duet with trilling birds, or, in the most courageous of the album's many unusual strategies, sing huge strings of numbers, a gambit that brings new meaning to the old critic's chestnut about being happy to listen to someone singing the telephone directory?

* Many years ago, back near the start of her career, she regarded the domestic demands of motherhood as a dubious prospect, claiming her work was her love, and how could she do that and bring up a child at the same time? The answer, presumably, was not to work for a dozen years.

* She has always freely admitted being like a little girl in many ways, and furthermore, happily presumes she'll still be that way in her dotage. It's certainly still a factor on ''Aerial'' , both in the track &quot;Bertie&quot; itself and in the memories and reminiscences that cobweb some other songs. But compared to the darker corners of the mind sometimes mined in earlier songs, the new album seems a much sunnier affair: an enduring image I took away from it — not necessarily a lyric, though it might have been — was of windows flung wide open, their curtains billowing out in the breeze, a room's long-dormant dust stirred into life again.

* She's unafraid, too, of tackling more problematic areas of sexuality, as for instance when she dealt with cradle-snatching in &quot;The Infant Kiss&quot; and incest in &quot;The Kick Inside&quot;. But not all that seems erotic in her music is about sex, as an EMI employee discovered when he found her working on the hypnotic &quot;out-in-out-in&quot; chant section of &quot;Breathing&quot; (from 1980's ''Never For Ever''), and expressed outrage at EMI's young pop princess making such an overtly sexual record. The song is, of course, about breathing. Duhhh!

* At around an hour and a half, Aerial is unquestionably a substantial piece of work, and its manifold peculiarities and quirks offer much more interesting fare than that available from today's AOR mainstream. It's also a more mature undertaking than any of her previous albums, an extended meditation on art and light, fame and family, creativity and the natural world. Indeed it seems, come to think of it, like an expansion of the theme of Laura Veirs' gorgeous &quot;Rapture&quot;. And since that was the finest song of last year, I'd have to say that leaves Kate Bush still operating at the cutting-edge of intelligent adult pop, every bit as relevant now as at any point in her career. Just a little bit weirder, thank heavens.

=== ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014) ===
[[File:Viv Albertine.jpg|thumb|&quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; … this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'' ~ [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]] ]] 
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of various people from the BBC documentary [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4sLwt8mhZs ''The Kate Bush Story'' (2014)], listed alphabetically.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Tori Amos 2 pianos.jpg|thumb|I remember, I had to pull over, and [[listen]] to it, because I'd never [[heard]] anything like it. ~ [[Tori Amos]] ]]
[[File:Big Boi Counterpoint.jpg|thumb|That's [[w:Running Up That Hill|one of like my all-time favorite songs]], dude … every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord. ~ [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]] ]] 
[[File:St Vincent by Sachyn Mital.jpg|thumb|You don’t ever get the sense that she's making [[music]] to pander to anyone. I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her [[true]] [[vision]] whenever you get a Kate Bush record. ~ [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]] ]]
[[File:Peter Gabriel Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|Kate's wonderful [[voice]] is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of [[love]] out there for them. ~ [[Peter Gabriel]] ]]
[[File:Gaiman-headshot.jpg|thumb|One of the things I [[love]] about Kate Bush is her absolute [[ability]] to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them [[work]]. ~ [[Neil Gaiman]] ]]
[[File:David Gilmour - live 8 - edited.jpg|thumb|I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; ~ [[David Gilmour]] ]]
[[File:Elton John in Norway 5.jpg|thumb|[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|That record she did]] with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my [[life]]. ~ [[Elton John]] ]]
[[File:Miss Khan.jpg|thumb|She seems to have an endless kind of [[ability]] to put herself in and with [[empathize]] with different [[characters]] and viewpoints. ~ [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]] ]]
[[File:John Lydon at the Hammersmith Odeon, 2008-09-02 (4).jpg|thumb|My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']] … It’s a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things. ~ [[John Lydon]] ]]
[[File:Lindsey Kemp Allan Warren.jpg|thumb|I got back to my [[home]] … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn’t know she had any aspirations of being a [[singer]]. She never talked about herself. ~ [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]] ]] 
[[File:Tricky mp3h1943.jpg|thumb|I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to. … When I first heard [[Billie Holiday]], I'd never heard anything like that in my [[life]] — the same with Kate Bush. ~ [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]] ]]

* When Kate Bush came along, sort of '78, I was in [[w:The Slits|The Slits]] , and I remember I was sitting in a van outside our singer's house, waiting to do a gig, and &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; came on the radio, and I was like &quot;Ooh, WHAT? What's this?&quot; And I kept waiting for the melody to repeat, because, you know, at that time, pop music was very much Radio One, you know it was repeating melodies very quickly, and '''this melody it meandered on, and this high-pitched voice warbling and dropping, but I was ''absolutely spellbound.'''''
** [[w:Viv Albertine|Viv Albertine]]

* '''[[w:Babooshka (song)|Babooshka]]'s just one of those song's you just can't get out of your head, can you?''' You know, how she just takes a word, and you start seeing images and pictures. To a word that maybe you haven't used ... it's &quot;Babooshka&quot; and she's turned that into an emotion, that's just how she's able to use a combination of a word and a combination of a melody and the rhythm of that, and it creates a new language.
** [[Tori Amos]]

* I just remember pulling aside, I was driving, and I heard it on the radio, in the states — and she didn't really get played a lot in the states, until that song — that really got played — a lot. '''I remember, I had to pull over, and listen to it, because I'd never heard anything like it.'''
** [[Tori Amos]], on first hearing &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* The intention is to tell a story, to create a sonic world for us, a sonic ''painting'', for us to walk into, without having to see her. She's transcending that. '''She's [[choosing]] to transcend that. And that's a very powerful thing to do.'''
** [[Tori Amos]]

* '''I don't think she's ever particularly wanted to &quot;play the game&quot;, has she?''' But when you've done ''great'' work, like she's done, and then you retract from the public, people almost have to make up their own version of you, don't they?
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]]

* I've spent ''many, many'' hours listening to that 30 minutes of [[music]]. It's an incredible piece of music, and '''I would advise anyone who's never heard it to go and listen to it, because it's one of the ''[[great]]'' pieces of music.'''
** [[w:Brett Anderson|Brett Anderson]], on &quot;The Ninth Wave&quot; section of ''[[w:Hounds of Love|Hounds of Love]]''

*'''She's sort of stretching the fabric, not just of her [[voice]], but of the whole kind of pop form.''' ... It's like a child, it's like a kind of reveling in what her voice can do. 
** [http://katherineangel.com Katherine Angel], on Kate's singing

* '''It's as if, within her voice, there's ''[[everything]]'' — every possible facet of [[human]] [[experience]] is their under her surface, and her [[work]] as a [[writer]] is to constantly draw that out'''. Not just the particularity of her experiences as a female body, but her experience as a person, which is to be prey to all kinds of forces and sensations. 
** Katherine Angel

* '''That's one of like my all-time favorite songs, dude.''' Music is supposed to evoke [[emotion]], you know what I'm saying, It makes you feel a certain way, you know, that's what the vibrations are. Its, its not stagnant, its not just, not just plain — '''every time you listen to it, it touches you, it strikes a chord.'''	
** [[w:Big Boi|Big Boi]], on &quot;[[w:Running Up That Hill|Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)]]&quot;

* '''You can hear one note of a Kate Bush song, or one note of her voice even, and know immediately what it is.''' And that is the biggest feat of any artist, especially when you consider, you know, all the roads that she's gone down. 
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on Bush's singing 

* '''For that to have come out of someone's brain, period, is a remarkable feat.''' For that to have come out of someone's brain, at 17 years old — ''this incredible song'', ''incredible'' song ... there aren't that many ''amazing'' pop songs that have two or three key changes in them —‚ and I'm not talking about some modulations, I'm talking: &quot;Okay, now we're in the key of Q.&quot; It's like ''WHAT?'' But it's so brilliant, it's so memorable. I always karaoke that song — ''if I drink enough.''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* I read an interview with her one time, where she was asked, something along the lines of &quot;Why do you write from the perspective of a lot of characters?&quot; and she said very simply and eloquently &quot;because they're more interesting than I am.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''I'm convinced that, as great as that record sounds, if you had anyone else sing it, you know, anyone else try to kind of weave and make it do that thing where it burns like wildfire and it comes alive, ''no one else could do it.''''' It's incredible the way she kind of brings this cold arctic atmosphere, It's just like fire, you know? It's like all ''aaarh'' coming out of her mouth. ... and now I'm listening to the song in my head. &quot;Do you know what I really need? Do you know what I really need? I need lalalala yea yo yea yo your ''love''.&quot;
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]], on the song &quot;[[w:The Sensual World (song)|The Sensual World]]&quot;

* I still remember going to the CD store and buying ''[[w:The Sensual World|The Sensual World]]'' when I was 16, and the cover — there was a [[rose]] in front of her mouth, that has bloomed, she's got big wide eyes, and '''I remember, you know, putting it on the shitty car stereo on the way home, you know — ''and my life was forever changed.'''''
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* '''You don't ever get the sense that she's making music to pander to anyone.''' I think you always get her absolute best attempt at her true vision whenever you get a Kate Bush record.
** [[St. Vincent (musician)‎‎|Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent)]]

* She's a gift for satirists. Of course it's easy, because dull artists, especially in pop music, are very difficult to satirize. It's all there on a plate wasn't it?
** [[Steve Coogan]]

* '''I was called by my agent, who said &quot;Would you like to record a track with Kate Bush?&quot; To which there is ''only'' F-ing one possible answer.''' Unless its me ''singing''. I said, &quot;She does know I can't sing?&quot; &quot;No-no-no, it would be voicing, saying words for snow. … I still can't believe it says &quot;Kate Bush-Stephen Fry.&quot; 
** [[Stephen Fry]], talking about his work with Kate on ''[[w: 50 Words for Snow|50 Words for Snow]]'', and the credits on the album.

* '''She has a very intense poetic mind.''' That's what makes it — ''that voice'' that comes in.
** [[Stephen Fry]], listening to ''50 Words for Snow''

* '''[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] is still one of those things, which right from the get-go ... has its own life, because it's just a great song.''' ... For all the time that she or I or anyone spend decorating and creating moods, its actually the key element of what your saying, the melody and the chords which still speak louder than all the stuff around, on a great song. 
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* Creativity comes from the freedom to fail. And freedom to fail comes from experimentation, and that's what gives something its individuality. And, you know, '''I think her courage, which is the positive way of interpreting it, or bloody-mindedness, which is the negative, is part of what gives her real value as an artist.'''
** [[Peter Gabriel]]

* It's extraordinary what that song has been used for — I think a lot of people who have gotten into trouble, have attached themselves to that song, and I think a lot of it is Kate's wonderful voice is there, in a sort of reassuring and loving way, and it just makes them think that perhaps there is going to be that type of love out there for them.
** [[Peter Gabriel]], on his duet with Kate on his song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* '''I'd never heard anything like it before. It was like [[w:banshee|banshee]] [[music]].''' This absolutely otherworldly voice, singing about a [[book]], and as a bookish kid, I was always fascinated by anything, any music that seems to be about or inspired by books.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], on the song &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* '''One of the things I love about Kate Bush is her absolute ability to take things, to pluck things that you would never expect to see on a rock album, and put them there and make them work.''' [[James Joyce]]'s ''[[Ulysses]]'' — one of the greatest passages in all of English or Anglo-Irish literature, is Molly Bloom's glorious soliloquy ending in a sequence of Yeses. It's about embracing the [[world]] of the [[senses]], embracing [[yourself]], embracing [[sex]], embracing [[love]], embracing the [[future]], embracing ''[[all|all]]'' possibility, and it goes all the way back to me, to &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; — this is somebody who is not afraid of books. '''This is somebody who is not afraid of reading, somebody who's not afraid of writers, and who's not afraid of ''translating'', being an intermediary, being a [[door]], between the world of books and the world of rock.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Kate Bush makes a record, and you don't hear from her. And you play the stuff she has made, and one day you are surprised, and she brings out something else, and she's been quietly working away on it, for however long she wanted to work on it, and I love that. '''I love the willingness to be quiet, until its time to speak — which is something that she does over and over.'''
** [[Neil Gaiman]]

* Its funny no one ever applies the term &quot;progressive rock&quot; to Kate Bush, but to me its prog. It's the same think I love about the best prog, it's like, the really sort of brash stuff, people showing technical ability, I have no interest in, but the experimental dreamy stuff, that sort of came from many places at once, I set her stuff next to, well next to [[Janis Joplin|Janis]], is the obvious comparison... 
** [[w:Guy Garvey|Guy Garvey]]

* '''I had a listen, I was intrigued ... by this strange voice, and I went to her house, met her parents down in Kent, and she played me, it must have been forty or fifty songs, on tape, and I thought, I should try to do something.''' ... We were making — [[Pink Floyd]] was making the ''Wish You Were Here'' album, and I think we had the record company people down at Abbey Road, in number 3, and I said to them &quot;Do you want to hear something I've got? And they said &quot;sure&quot;, so we found another room, and I played it to them, &quot;[[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]]&quot;, and they said &quot;Yep, thank you – we'll have it.&quot; 
** [[David Gilmour]], on first hearing 15 year old Kate's demo tapes, and meeting with her.

* '''It is absolutely beautiful, isn't it?''' And its a sort of over two years before any of the other recordings she did. That is her singing at the age of 16, and having written those extraordinary lyrics — about whatever they're about.
** [[David Gilmour]], listening to [[w:The Man with the Child in His Eyes|The Man with the Child in His Eyes]] 

* This is a whole universe I can dive into — and for me, it was very ''avant-garde'', and expressive and kind of from a complete different planet to everything else that you see from the eighties ... it's like she was definitely out their on her own. ... '''She seems to have an endless kind of ability to put herself in and with empathize with different characters and viewpoints.'''
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

* I really ''thank'' Kate, because these touchstones like &quot;This Woman's Work&quot;, that kind of song, it's celebrating everything that's so wonderful about being a woman, and being nurturing, and intuitive and emotional, and gentle and sensual, and just like really intimate. People don't put their hearts on the line in that vulnerable way very much, and me, as an artist myself, it's helped me to not be frightened, to show all, as much of my vulnerability as a woman as possible, and in that be powerful.
** [[w:Natasha Khan|Natasha Khan]]

*''' They're not &quot;normal&quot; songs. None of her songs have been &quot;normal.&quot; She's just who she is, she's unique. She's — a mystery. She's the most beautiful mystery.''' ... Let me tell you a story: when I had my civil partnership, nine years ago, in 2005, and Kate — we invited Kate, we didn't think she'd come but she came, she came with her husband Danny, and '''there were a lot of very famous people in that room, there were like 600 people — and all anybody wanted to meet was Kate Bush.''' I mean, musician, ''anybody'', they couldn't believe Kate Bush was there. She's kind of an enigma. 
** [[Elton John]]

* &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot; was not your normal type song — but that's why it was so brilliant. It was something out the norm. When something like that comes along, they don't come along that often. When does the next Kate Bush come along, after Kate Bush? There hasn't been one.
** [[Elton John]]

* '''That record she did with [[Peter Gabriel]] saved my life.''' That record helped me get sober. So she played a big part in my actual downfall and kind of &quot;rebirth'&quot; as it were. That record helped me so much. I never told her that, but it did.
** [[Elton John]], on her duet with Peter Gabriel on the song &quot;[[w:Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush song)|Don’t Give Up]]&quot;, on his album ''[[w:So (album)|So]]''

* When I first heard it, I thought that's ''extremely'' challenging, the vocal — it was almost ''hysterical'', and it was so up there, the register, but it was absolutely fascinating. And I know at the time a lot of my friends couldn't bear it, they thought it was just &quot;too much&quot; — but that's exactly what drew me in. 
** [[John Lydon]], on &quot;[[w:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]&quot;

* My favorite album by her is [[w:The Dreaming (album)|''The Dreaming'']], and I think she produced that one herself. That got ''a lot of criticism'' — but I ''loved'' it. It was overloaded with textures, and tones and all manner of things. '''It's a record that I still can play to this day, and still hear new things.'''
** [[John Lydon]]

* I was teaching at the Dance Centre in Covent Garden. Kate turned up, dressed very properly in her ballet tights and things, and her hair straight back, looking very, very professional indeed, a very, very serious student. But as ''timid as hell'', and of course she took a place at the back of the class, you know, I had to ''coax'' her forward. I mean she was ''extremely'' shy, ''extremely'' timid, and of course the first thing I had to do was, you know, bring her out of herself, give her courage. '''I have to say that once Kate actually ''started'' dancing, she was a ''wild'' thing, she was ''wild'''''. … One day, some months after knowing her, I got back to my home … and there was this LP pushed under the door, ''[[w:The Kick Inside|The Kick Inside]] '' — '''and there, dedicated to me was this ''beautiful'' song &quot;[[w:Moving (Kate Bush song)|Moving]]&quot; — I didn't know she had any aspirations of being a singer. She never talked about herself.'''
** [[w:Lindsay Kemp|Lindsay Kemp]]

* '''I knew from day one, I knew ... there was no way this girl was not going to make it. She was going to be a ''huge'' success.''' There was no way, because she was so driven for it. And her [[enthusiasm]] for it all was infectious. 
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]]

* The working relationship was never a problem, you know. We always worked together reasonably well, you know, we always argue, and we always have and always will. I've always argued with Kate, and she's always argued with me, but I guess that's just the way it is, you know, so I feel I'm emotionally involved with it all, to a great extent, you know, much more so than most people would imagine. Not only did we have a personal relationship, and I work with her — I really love her music, I really do... to the point, where '''I virtually work with nobody else — because nobody else comes close.'''
** [[w:Del Palmer|Del Palmer]], on the break up of his personal relationship with Kate, and his continued work with her musically.

* '''I only like extreme talent. It's the only thing I can listen to.''' Where does Kate Bush come from? You can't hear her influences. It's like [[Billie Holiday]], when I first heard Billie Holiday, I'd never heard anything like that in my life — the same with Kate Bush. I can't figure out musically, artistically, who her mother and father is. 	
** [[w:Tricky (musician)|Tricky]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.katebush.com/ Official site]
* [http://homepage.tinet.ie/~twoms/katebush.htm Kate Bush News]
* [http://gaffa.org/ Gaffaweb - extensive fan site]
** [http://gaffa.org/sensual/l_alpha.html Lyrics of Kate Bush songs at Gaffaweb]
* [http://ectoguide.org/artists/bush.kate Ectophile Guide to Kate Bush] &amp; [http://ectoguide.org/genre Good Music]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Always on the Run : Kate Bush] (bio and lyrics)
* [http://home.att.net/~james51453/ &quot;Cathy&quot; Online version of the book by Kate's brother, John Carder Bush]
* [http://www.dongrays.com/kate-bush/mp3/ Kate Bush in MP3 - early studio demos by Kate Bush, plus other rare recordings.]
* [http://www.katebush.info/ Kate Bush Information and Resources]
* [http://www.angelfire.com/stars4/katebush/Art.html Links to Artwork Inspired By Kate]
* [http://www.ukkatebushfangatherings.co.uk/ UK Kate Bush Fan Gatherings]
* [http://ninthwave.free.fr/ The Ninth Wave - French Language Fan Page]
* [http://children.ofthenight.org/cloudbusting/cloudbusting.html Cloudbusting - Kate In her Own Words]
* [http://fly.hiwaay.net/~cbullard/ Kate Worlds]
* [http://www.heisjohn.com/kate/ The Single File]
* [http://www.antenna.nl/~dinyar/ Bart Dinyar's Discography]
* [http://www.wessex.clara.net/kate/ The Laser File]
* [http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm Kate Bush Lyrics]
* [http://www.talisman.org/~erlkonig/KT/ Talisman Archive]
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20050205140603/http://members.tripod.com/~BrendanMartin/ The Lost Kate Bush Interview]
* [http://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/kate.bush.html Summary: &quot;The Line, The Cross &amp; The Curve&quot;]
* [http://www.salon.com/people/bc/2001/03/20/kate_bush/print.html Kate Bush] ''Salon'' (20 March 2001)
* [http://www.rollingstone.com/artist/bio/_/id/2069/katebush?pageid=rs.Artistcage&amp;pageregion=artistHeader Brief biography] at ''Rolling Stone''
'''Reviews of ''Aerial'':'''
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4386346.stm Review: Kate Bush's ''Aerial'' (BBC)]
* [http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1604281,00.html &quot;Admit it, guys, she's a genius&quot; - ''The Observer'' (30 October 2005)]
* [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5032773 Kate Bush Returns with 'Aerial'] ([[w:National Public Radio|NPR]] audio review)
* [http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/article309691.ece Kate Bush: The sequel&quot;], ''The Independent'' (2 September 2005)

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bush, Kate}}

[[Category:Absurdists]]
[[Category:Guitarists from England]]
[[Category:English pianists]]
[[Category:Alternative rock singers]]
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from England]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Record producers from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
[[Category:British women]]
[[Category:People from London]]
[[Category:1958 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Vegetarians]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Beverly Sills</title>
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        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
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      <text bytes="6223" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Beverly Sills by Van Vechten.jpg|thumb|right|A happy woman is one who has no cares at all; a cheerful woman is one who has cares but doesn't let them get her down.]]
'''[[w:Beverly Sills|Beverly Sills]]''' (born '''Belle Silverman'''; [[25 May]] [[1929]] – [[July 2]], [[2007]]) was a [[Grammy award]] winning [[w:coloratura|coloratura]] [[soprano]], perhaps the best-known American [[opera]] singer in the 1960s and 1970s.

== Quotes ==
* '''I needed to sing — desperately.''' My voice poured out more easily because I was no longer singing for anyone's approval; I was beyond caring about the public's reaction, I just wanted to enjoy myself. … I had found a kind of serenity, a new maturity, as a result of my childrens' problems. '''I didn't feel better or stronger than anyone else but it seemed no longer important whether everyone loved me or not — more important now was for me to love them. Feeling that way turns your whole life around; living becomes the act of giving.'''
** ''Bubbles : A Self-Portrait'' (1976), p. 114

* '''A happy woman is one who has no cares at all; a cheerful woman is one who has cares but doesn't let them get her down.'''
** As quoted in ''The Quotable Woman'' (1978) by Elaine Partnow, p. 399

* There is a growing strength in women but it's in the forehead, not the forearm. Men will always be attracted to women with nice soft arms and a fleshy bosom.
** As quoted in ''TIME'' Vol. 120 (1982)

* Why should I go when it's going so good? … '''I lived through the garbage. I might as well dine on the caviar.'''
** As quoted in [http://www.nytimes.com/1984/10/15/nyregion/new-york-day-by-day-caviar-for-beverly-sills.html &quot;Caviar for Beverly Sills&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (15 October 1984)]

* So long as it doesn't get to the point where you don't remember whose opera you're listening to, I'm willing to experiment.
** As quoted in ''Newsweek'', Vol. 103, (1984), p. iv

* '''I've always tried to go a step past wherever people expected me to end up. I'm not about to change now.'''
** ''Beverly : An Autobiography'' (1988), p. 356

* '''My voice had a long, nonstop career.''' It deserves to be put to bed with quiet and dignity, not yanked out every once in a while to see if it can still do what it used to do. '''It can't.'''
** As quoted in ''TIME'' (1983), and  ''The Beacon Book of Quotations by Women'' (1992) by Rosalie Maggio

* '''Art is the signature of civilizations.'''
** As quoted in ''The Beacon Book of Quotations by Women'' (1992) by Rosalie Maggio

* I really do believe I can accomplish a great deal with a big grin, I know some people find that disconcerting, but that doesn't matter. 
** As quoted in ''The Beacon Book of Quotations by Women'' (1992) by Rosalie Maggio

* There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
** As quoted in ''Conquering an Enemy Called Average'' (1996) by John L. Mason

* '''You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.'''
** As quoted in ''Incredible Quotations : 230 Thought-Provoking Quotes with Prompts to Spark Students' Writing, Thinking, and Discussion'' (1997) by Jacqueline Sweeney

{{Misattributed begin}}
== Misattributed ==
* In youth, we run into difficulties. In old age, difficulties run into us.
** [[Josh Billings]], as quoted in ''Mac's Giant Book of Quips and Quotes'' (1983) by E. C. McKenzie

* You don't always get what you ask for, but you never get what you don't ask for... unless it's contagious!
** Franklyn Broude, as quoted in ''Sitting on a File Cabinet, Naked, with a Gun:  True Stories of Silicon Valley'' (2009) by Linda McFarland, Joanne Linden and Sharon Turnoy

* Christians should never fail to sense the operation of an angelic glory. It forever eclipses the world of demonic powers, as the sun does a candle's light. 
** [[Billy Graham]], as quoted in ''The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Book of Revelation'' (2001) by Stan Campbell and James S. Bell, p. 54

* Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else. Your completeness must be understood by you and experienced in your thoughts as your own personal reality.
** [[w:Wayne Dyer|Wayne Dyer]], quoted in ''The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Buddhism'' (2002) by Gary Gach, p. 285

* Attachment to spiritual things is... just as much an attachment as inordinate love of anything else.
** [[Thomas Merton]], in ''New Seeds of Contemplation'' (1961)

* Anger begins with folly, and ends with repentance.
** [[Pythagoras]], as quoted in ''Treasury of Thought : Forming an Encyclopædia of Quotations from Ancient and Modern Authors'' (1894) by Maturin Murray Ballou

* A primary function of art and thought is to liberate the individual from the tyranny of his culture in the environmental sense and to permit him to stand beyond it in an autonomy of perception and judgment.
** [[Lionel Trilling]], in his introducton to ''[[w: Beyond Culture| Beyond Culture]]'' (1976) by [[w:Edward T. Hall|Edward T. Hall]]
{{Misattributed end}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*[http://www.pbs.org/wnet/gperf/dialogue/dialogue_sills_bs.html Beverly Sills: Made In America Interview]
*[http://www.beverlysillsonline.com Beverly Sills Online]
*[http://www.answers.com/topic/beverly-sills Beverly Sills at Answers.com]
*[http://www.wic.org/bio/bsills.htm Beverly Sills:Special mother to the special children]
*{{imdb name|0798116}}
*[http://www.greatwomen.org/women.php?action=viewone&amp;id=144 Beverly Sills: National Women's Hall of Fame profile]
*[http://www.pbs.org/wnet/gperf/shows/beverlysills/index.html Beverly Sills: Made in America (PBS Great Performances)]
*[http://operamom.com/featured_artist_sills.html Beverly Sills at OperaMom.com]
*[http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/03/arts/music/03sills.html?_r=3&amp;hp=&amp;oref=slogin&amp;pagewanted=all ''The New York Times'' obituary (3 July 2007)]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sills, Beverly}}
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:1929 births]]
[[Category:2007 deaths]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:Presidential Medal of Freedom recipients]]
[[Category:American women]]
[[Category:Opera singers]]</text>
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    <title>Wikiquote:Votes for deletion</title>
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        <id>4304</id>
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      <comment>finish vfd noms</comment>
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    <title>Fight Club (film)</title>
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[[File:PL Podziemny krag okladka.jpg|thumb|right|'''The first rule of Fight Club is:'''&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;float: right&quot;&gt;'''You do not talk about Fight Club.'''&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt; '''The second rule of Fight Club is:'''&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;float: right&quot;&gt;'''''You do not talk about Fight Club.'''''&lt;/div&gt;]]
'''''[[w:Fight Club (film)|Fight Club]]''''' is a [[w:1999 in film|1999 film]] about an insomniac office worker, looking for a way to change his life, who crosses paths with a devil-may-care soap maker, forming an underground fight club that evolves into something much, much more.
:''Directed by [[w:David Fincher|David Fincher]]. Written by [[w:Jim Uhls|Jim Uhls]]. Based on the [[Fight Club (novel)|novel]] by [[Chuck Palahniuk]].''
{{center|'''Mischief. Mayhem. Soap.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== The Narrator ==
* Bob had bitch tits.

* People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden.

* When the fight was over, nothing was solved, but nothing mattered. We all felt saved.

* If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

* Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big blubbery one.

* You wake up at SeaTac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

* I am Jack's... complete lack of surprise.

* On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

* I felt like destroying something beautiful.

* I am Jack's wasted life.

* I am Jack's smirking revenge.

* When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake.

* With insomnia, nothing's real. Everything's far away. Everything's a copy of a copy of a copy.

* Fight club wasn't about winning or losing. It wasn't about words. The hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal Church.

* Tyler built himself an army. Why was Tyler Durden building an army? To what purpose? For what greater good? '''In Tyler we trusted.'''

* When you have a gun in your mouth, you can only speak in vowels.

* I want you to really listen to me. My eyes are open.

* You met me at a very strange time in my life.

== Tyler Durden ==
[[File:Fight_Club_Soap_-_Omni_Consumer_Products_(8646725933).jpg|thumb|right|Listen up, maggots! You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.]]
* Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club. '''The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: ''YOU DO NOT. TALK. ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!''''' Third rule of Fight Club: Someone yells &quot;Stop!&quot;, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: Only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: One fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: No shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule: Fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first night at Fight Club, you '''''have''''' to fight.

* Self-improvement is masturbation. Now, self-''destruction''...

* Our fathers were our models for God, if our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?

* Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. '''Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't.''' And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

* In the world I see; you're stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.

* Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.

* It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

* You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

* Hi, you're gonna call off your rigorous investigation. You're gonna publicly state that there is no underground group, or, these guys are gonna take your balls. They're gonna send one to the New York Times, one to the LA Times, press release style. Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on: we cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances, we guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.

* Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat. It's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! '''''LET GO!'''''

* The things you own end up owning you.

* You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, never wanted you, in all probability he hates you. It's not the worst thing that could happen.

* Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

* If we are God's unwanted children, '''so be it'''!

* First you've gotta know - not fear, know - that someday you're gonna die.

* I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.

* We're consumers. We are the byproducts of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.

* You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.

* Listen up, maggots! You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

== Marla Singer ==
* A condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.

* My God ... I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.

* Candy-stripe a cancer ward. It's not my problem.

* I've got a stomach full of Xanax. I took what was left in the bottle. It might have been too much.

* [''on the phone, after taking a bottle of sleeping pills''] This isn't a real suicide-thing. This is probably one of those cry-for-help things... You're going to have to keep me up aaaall night.

* It's a bridesmaid's dress. I got it at a second-hand store. It was loved intensely for one night.. then cast aside.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Narrator''': When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just &amp;hellip;
:'''Marla Singer''': &amp;hellip; instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?
:'''Narrator''': Yeah. Yeah.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Narrator''': A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, ''A'', multiply by the probable rate of failure, ''B'', multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, ''C''. ''A'' times ''B'' times ''C'' equals ''X''. If ''X'' is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
:'''Woman on plane''': Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
:'''Narrator''': You wouldn't believe.
:'''Woman on plane''': Which car company do you work for?
:'''Narrator''': A major one.
:''[Plane turns heavily, narrator thinks to himself'']: Every time the plane banked sharply on takeoff or landing, I prayed for a crash, or mid air collision, anything. Life insurance pays triple when you die on a business trip.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Narrator's bags have just been confiscated]''
:'''Narrator''': Was it ticking?
:'''Airport Security Officer''': Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
:'''Narrator''': Sorry, throwers?
:'''Airport Security Officer''': Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
:'''Narrator''': My suitcase was vibrating?
:'''Airport Security Officer''': Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But &amp;hellip; every once in a while ''[looks around, leans in conspiratorially]'' &amp;hellip; it's a dildo. ''[leans back]'' Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, &quot;''a'' dildo&quot;, never &amp;hellip; ''your'' dildo.
:'''Narrator''': I don't own a dildo!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Let me tell you a little bit about Tyler Durden. Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one big reel. It comes on a few. So someone has to be there to switch the projectors at the exact moment that one reel ends and the next one begins. If you look for it, you can see these little dots come into the upper right-hand corner of the screen.
:''[In the background, Tyler points to the corner of the screen as one such mark briefly appears.]''
:'''Tyler Durden''': In the industry, we call them cigarette burns.
:'''Narrator''': That's the cue for a changeover. He flips the projectors, the movie keeps right on going, and nobody in the audience has any idea.
:'''Tyler Durden''': And why would anyone want this shit job?
:'''Narrator''': Because it affords him other interesting opportunities.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films.
:'''Narrator''': So when the snooty cat and the courageous dog with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll catch a flash of Tyler's contribution to the film.
:''[As the audience is watching the film, pornography flashes for a split second]''
:'''Narrator''': Nobody knows that they saw it, but they did.
:'''Tyler Durden''': A nice, big cock.
:''[Several audience members look rattled, a little girl cries]''
:'''Narrator''': Even a hummingbird couldn't catch Tyler at work.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt; 
: '''Narrator:''' When you buy furniture, you tell yourself, that’s it. That’s the last sofa I’ll need. Whatever else happens, got that sofa problem handled. I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent. A wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was close to being complete. 
: '''Tyler:''' Shit man, now it’s all gone.
: '''Narrator:''' All… gone.
: '''Tyler:''' All gone. Do you know what a duvet is?
: '''Narrator:''' A comforter.
:'''Tyler:''' It’s a blanket. Just a blanket. Why do guys like you and I know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we, then?
:'''Narrator:''' I don’t know. Consumers.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Right. We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra. 
:'''Narrator''': Martha Stewart.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may. But that's me, and I could be wrong. '''Maybe it’s a terrible tragedy.'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Tyler and Narrator stop outside a convenience store at night. Tyler takes out a gun and walks into the store to do their homework assignment of a &quot;human sacrifice&quot;, while Narrator protests. Tyler forces the clerk out the back exit at gun point.]''
:'''Voice-over''': On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everybody drops to zero.
:'''Narrator''': Stop! What are we doing? Come on! God!
:'''Tyler Durden''': Hands behind your back. Give me your wallet.
:''[The clerk, now kneeling, hands him his wallet.]''
:'''Tyler Durden''': Raymond K. Hessel. 1320 South East spanning apartment A. Small cramped basement apartment, Raymond?
:'''Raymond K. Hessel''': How did you know?
:'''Tyler Durden''': 'Cause they give shitty basement apartments letters instead of numbers. Raymond, you are going to die.
:''[Raymond begins to cry. Tyler examines content of the wallet.]''
:'''Tyler Durden''': Is that your mom and dad? Mom and Dad are going to have to call up kindly Doctor So-and-so. Pick up your dental records. Wanna know why? Because there's gonna be nothing left of your face.
:'''Narrator''': Oh come on, come on.
:'''Tyler Durden''': An expired community college student ID. What did you study, Raymond?
:'''Raymond K. Hessel''': S-stuff.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Stuff? Were the mid-terms hard? I asked you what you studied!
:'''Raymond K. Hessel''': Biology mostly.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Why?
:'''Raymond K. Hessel''': I don't know.
:'''Tyler Durden''': What did you wanna be, Raymond K. Hessel? The ''question'', ''Raymond''! Was &quot;What did you want to be&quot;?!
:'''Narrator''': Answer him, Raymond! Jesus!
:'''Raymond K. Hessel''': Veterinarian, veterinarian.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Animals.
:'''Raymond K. Hessel''': Yeah animals and stuff.
:'''Tyler Durden''': And stuff, yeah I got that. That means you have to get more schooling.
:'''Raymond K. Hessel''': Too much school.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Would you rather be dead? Would you rather die? Here, on your knees in the back of a convenience store?
:'''Raymond K. Hessel''': No, please no!
:''[Tyler takes his gun down, takes out Raymond's driver's license throwing the wallet in front of Raymond.]''
:'''Tyler Durden''': I'm keeping your license. I'm gonna check in on you. I know where you live. If you're not on your way to becoming a veterinarian in six weeks, you will be dead. Now run on home.
:''[Raymond gets up and runs into the night.]''
:'''Tyler Durden''': Run Forrest, run!
:'''Narrator''': I feel ill.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Imagine how he feels.
:'''Narrator''': Come on, this isn't funny! That wasn't funny. What the fuck was the point of that?!
:'''Tyler Durden''': Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.
:'''Voice-over''': You had to give it to him. He had a plan. And it started to make sense in a Tyler sort of way. No fear, no distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
:''[Tyler throws gun to Narrator who opens the cylinder to find no bullets inside.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Narrator''': I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Where'd you go psycho boy?
:'''Narrator''': I felt like destroying something beautiful.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Narrator''': I know it seems like I have more than one side sometimes...
:'''Marla Singer''': More than one side? You're Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Tyler Durden''':  ''[the Narrator is trying to disarm a car bomb of nitroglycerin]'' You don't know which wire to pull.
:'''Narrator''': I know everything you do, so if you know I know.
:'''Tyler Durden''': Or maybe, since I knew you'd know I spent all day thinking about the wrong wires.

== Taglines ==
* How much can you know about yourself, if you've never been in a fight?

* When you wake up in a different place at a different time, can you wake up as a different person?

* Losing all hope is freedom

* Mischief. Mayhem. Soap.

* It's only after we've lost everything that we are free to do anything.

* This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

* Fuck Martha Stewart ..its all going down

* You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

* Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes; working jobs we hate, so we can buy shit we don't need.

== Cast ==
* [[Edward Norton]] - [[w:The Narrator (Fight Club)|The Narrator]]
* [[Brad Pitt]] - Tyler Durden
* [[Helena Bonham Carter]] - Marla Singer
* [[Meat Loaf]]	- Robert Paulson
* [[Jared Leto]] - Angel Face
* [[w:Zach Grenier|Zach Grenier]] - Richard Chesler, The Narrator's boss

== About ''Fight Club (film)'' ==

* Norton plays Jack, a generic name for a generic guy. He's a mild-mannered corporate drone whose complacently consumerist lifestyle is turned inside out when he encounters one Tyler Durden. The punkishly anarchic Durden (Pitt) is everything Jack would like to be but isn't, his own walking, talking id. Like Terry Southern's Magic Christian, Durden expresses his repugnance of society's materialistic values in a series of actes gratuits of mischievous subversion. Moonlighting as a cinema projectionist, he splices single, subliminally registered frames from pornographic films into bland mainstream fare; moonlighting as a waiter in a swanky restaurant, he pees into the oxtail soup. Bare-knuckled and bare-chested, the two of them start pummelling one another for thrills, only gradually discovering that there's a whole world out there of emasculated American males just waiting for an opportunity to let the sweat, blood and sperm pent up within them ooze out from every pore. Well, why not? It's a promising idea for a film, especially a satirical comedy, which is what Fight Club unambiguously is for its first half-hour. Fincher is a vulgar, flashy film-maker (he directed Seven and The Game) who doesn't so much make films as take them, the way we refer to a photographer taking, rather than making, photographs: he's interested only in surfaces and he likes even grunge to glitter. (The French, as usual, coined the perfect expression for this style: le look.) He's a sharp scriptwriter, however, and Norton's omnipresent voice-off narration, coupled with the subject's sociological relevance (cf Susan Faludi's new book Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man), initially sucks one in.
** Gilbert Adair, [https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/sometimes-its-hard-to-be-a-man-1125855.html &quot;Sometimes it's hard to be a man&quot;], ''The Independent'', (14 November 1999).

* Fight Club starts out funny. The first 30 minutes are overwhelmingly perfect. Like the beginning of American Beauty, the opening sequence whirls you through time, taking you in and out of the narrator's (Norton's) yuppie disillusionment. Poor Edward Norton—his character isn't even given a name. For good reason, since his identity consists of what furniture to buy, what shoes match his suit, and which dinette set best fits his non-existent personality. In this yuppie's life, IKEA is synonymous with orgasm. Enter Tyler Durden. Brad Pitt takes on the challenging role of this American psycho—a soap salesman who lives as a squatter, steals a sportscar one day and ditches it the next, and takes random nightshift jobs to survive. Tyler wants &quot;freedom&quot; from yuppie existence and he makes it a point to obliterate any rules with which he comes in contact—he pees in customers' food, inserts frames of nudity into family films at random movie theaters, and, of course, starts a Fight Club with Norton. It happens in a matter of seconds. He asks Norton to hit him as hard as he can and—bam!--shirtless yuppies are pounding each other to bloody shreds in bar basements all over the city. &lt;br&gt; The opening of Fight Club makes it clear that the movie's a satire. It's supposed to be a biting mockery of yuppie angst. &lt;br&gt; The problem, unfortunately, is that Fincher completely underestimates Edward Norton as an actor. If Fight Club is to be a successful satire, the audience can't fall in love with Norton's narrator. We shouldn't see him as the righteous crusader, the man who can do no wrong. Because when we take every punch Norton takes, we lose our sense of detachment. We lose that ironic distance—the distance that makes a movie like American Beauty such a compelling psychological portrait. There's no seeing the forest from the trees here because of Norton's intensity and ability to elicit endless empathy. We're his unconditional ally. But after being pummeled by Fight Club into bloody submission, we're just begging for mercy and an ending that will leave our senses—not our intellect—intact. &lt;br&gt; But there's one other glaring flaw. Unfortunately, it's an actor. Can you guess who it is? Oh yes, Brad Pitt should have been eternally jailed by the acting police after Seven Years in Tibet, Meet Joe Black, etc. etc. The guy has no range. He just yells when he's trying to be profound and adds a slight stutter when he's trying to be subtle. Pitt tries so damn hard not to be a pretty face, but he spends half the movie flexing his muscles and tearing off his shirt. And worst of all, he's self-conscious! Despite his posing, he's not a confident actor. Instead, he's annoying rather than intimidating; dumb rather than deep; an irritating yapper rather than the moral voice of the film. &lt;br&gt; Perhaps if Pitt and Norton had switched parts, it might have worked. After all, we don't feel anything for Tyler Durden and we care far too much about Norton's narrator. But here's the only recourse. I hope David Fincher sits in a crowded movie theater a few times over the next couple weeks to watch audience reaction to his film. Maybe he'll realize that Fight Club isn't as &quot;funny&quot; as he thinks it is. Maybe he'll realize that biting satire often blurs into the irresponsible. Maybe he'll realize he took the &quot;traumatized male&quot; theme one step too far. Or maybe he's still mesmerized by the sheer brutality of it all—the glistening blood spattered on the wall. He's so enthralled by its color, its undeniable immediacy, that he can't see its indelible pattern. &lt;br&gt; And even more dangerously, he can't tell whose blood it is.
** Soman S. chainani, [https://www.thecrimson.com/article/1999/10/15/fight-club-pi-bumped-into-edward/  &quot;Fight Club&quot;], ''The Harvard Crimson'', (October 15, 1999).

* &quot;Fight Club&quot; is the most frankly and cheerfully fascist big-star movie since &quot;Death Wish,&quot; a celebration of violence in which the heroes write themselves a license to drink, smoke, screw and beat one another up. &lt;br&gt; Sometimes, for variety, they beat up themselves. It's macho porn—the sex movie Hollywood has been moving toward for years, in which eroticism between the sexes is replaced by all-guy locker-room fights. Women, who have had a lifetime of practice at dealing with little-boy posturing, will instinctively see through it; men may get off on the testosterone rush. The fact that it is very well made and has a great first act certainly clouds the issue. &lt;br&gt; Edward Norton stars as a depressed urban loner filled up to here with angst. He describes his world in dialogue of sardonic social satire. His life and job are driving him crazy. As a means of dealing with his pain, he seeks out 12-step meetings, where he can hug those less fortunate than himself and find catharsis in their suffering. It is not without irony that the first meeting he attends is for post-surgical victims of testicular cancer, since the whole movie is about guys afraid of losing their cojones. &lt;br&gt; Only gradually are the final outlines of his master plan revealed. Is Tyler Durden in fact a leader of men with a useful philosophy? &quot;It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything,&quot; he says, sounding like a man who tripped over the Nietzsche display on his way to the coffee bar in Borders. In my opinion, he has no useful truths. He's a bully—Werner Erhard plus S &amp; M, a leather club operator without the decor. None of the Fight Club members grows stronger or freer because of their membership; they're reduced to pathetic cultists. Issue them black shirts and sign them up as skinheads. Whether Durden represents hidden aspects of the male psyche is a question the movie uses as a loophole—but is not able to escape through, because &quot;Fight Club&quot; is not about its ending but about its action. &lt;br&gt; Of course, &quot;Fight Club&quot; itself does not advocate Durden's philosophy. It is a warning against it, I guess; one critic I like says it makes &quot;a telling point about the bestial nature of man and what can happen when the numbing effects of day-to-day drudgery cause people to go a little crazy.&quot; I think it's the numbing effects of movies like this that cause people go to a little crazy. Although sophisticates will be able to rationalize the movie as an argument against the behavior it shows, my guess is that audience will like the behavior but not the argument. Certainly they'll buy tickets because they can see Pitt and Norton pounding on each other; a lot more people will leave this movie and get in fights than will leave it discussing Tyler Durden's moral philosophy. The images in movies like this argue for themselves, and it takes a lot of narration (or Narration) to argue against them.
** [[Roger Ebert]], [https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/fight-club-1999 &quot;Fight Club&quot;], ''Rogerebert.com'', (October 15, 1999).

* A stylized version of our IKEA present. It is talking about very simple concepts. We're designed to be hunters and we're in a society of shopping. There's nothing to kill anymore, there's nothing to fight, nothing to overcome, nothing to explore. In that societal emasculation this everyman is created. &lt;br&gt; We wanted a title sequence that started in the fear center of the brain. [When you hear] the sound of a gun being cocked that's in your mouth, the part of you brain that gets everything going, that realizes that you are fucked - we see all the thought processes, we see the synapses firing, we see the chemical electrical impulses that are the call to arms. And we wanted to sort of follow that out. Because the movie is about thought, it's about how this guy thinks. And it's from his point of view, solely. So I liked the idea of starting a movie from thought, from the beginning of the first fear impulse that went, Oh shit, I'm fucked, how did I get here?
** [[David Fincher]], [http://edward-norton.org/fc/articles/filmcom.html &quot;Gavin Smith goes one-on-one with David Fincher&quot;], ''Film Comment'', October/November 1999 issue.

* The movie is not that violent. There are ideas in the movie that are scary, but the film isn't about violence, the glorification of violence or the embracing of violence. In the movie, violence is a metaphor for feeling. It's a film about the problems or requirements involved with being masculine in today's society.&lt;br&gt;I do like movies that take a toll on the audience. I want to work the subconscious. I want to involve you in ways in which you might not necessarily want to get involved. I want to play off those things that you're expecting to get when the lights go down and the 20th Century Fox logo comes up. There's an audience expectation and I'm interested in how movies play with—and off—that expectation. That's what I'm interested in.
** [[David Fincher]], [http://drdrew.com/article.asp?id=198 Interview with Drew.com &quot;Fightin Words&quot;], ''Drdrew.com'', (1998).

* &quot;Fight Club&quot; appears threatening to some because it seems to challenge the safety of the modern world. But while Edward Norton and Brad Pitt seem only to offer unprovoked violence and mayhem, there are some salient points on offer behind it all. &lt;br&gt; Namely, it is the examination of a man who has allowed himself to become sucked into the minutiae of his corporate job. He further exacerbates his spiral of paranoia by turning to other corporate gimmicks for solutions, and treating them like a religion. He is Edward Norton and Fight Club is his desperate reaction.
** Almar Haflidason, [http://www.bbc.co.uk/films/2000/11/14/fight_club_1999_review.shtmlhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/films/2000/11/14/fight_club_1999_review.shtml &quot;Fight Club Review&quot;], ''BBC'', (14 November 2000).

*'''Edward Norton''': The reason ''Fight Club'' penetrated to a lot of people our age was that it grappled with that idea that there's this person that I am who's forced to move around in this neutered, contemporary world, but people don't know what I've got inside me. That sensation—not just in young men, but in people in general—or that idea of how to get your authentic self out there in the contemporary world. I think the reason that lodged with a lot of people was that people really do understand that sense that there's a schism inside them that they're aware of, that doesn't get expression. I feel that way. I think a lot of people our age feel that way. They feel more complex than the world allows them to be.
** [[w:Ed Norton|Ed Norton]] in [https://film.avclub.com/edward-norton-1798219579 &quot;Interview: Edward Norton&quot;] by Sean O'Neal, ''The A.V. Club'', (3/31/10).

* Guaranteed: Fight Club will blow your skirt up. It's not just the rush of seeing Edward Norton, Brad Pitt and director David Fincher hit career peaks in a groundbreaking film. And it's not the sick kick of watching Gen X amateurs bare-knuckling each other in seedy basements; that'd get old fast. The film's bold, bruising humor leaves marks on a wide range of hot-button issues: It's about being young, male and powerless against the pacifying drug of consumerism. It's about solitude, despair and bottled-up rage. It's about how not to feel dead as Y2K approaches. It's about daring to imagine the disenfranchised reducing the world to rubble and starting over. &lt;br&gt; For daring to imagine, Fight Club will take a few hits. Fincher's film of Chuck Palahniuk's 1996 novel – with a high-voltage script by newcomer Jim Uhls – is already being misinterpreted as an “apology for fascism.” One critic wondered whether Rupert Murdoch's Fox 2000, the company releasing Fight Club, “knew what it was doing” in spending $70 million on a movie that is “not only anti-capitalism but anti-society and, indeed, anti-God.” My take is that Fight Club is pro-thinking, no matter what deities are offended. Is that threatening? You bet. &lt;br&gt; Norton catches lightning in a revelatory performance that keeps delivering miracles of character nuance. He may be the best actor of his generation. Watching Jack beat himself bloody in front of his boss is a high-wire act that belongs in a time capsule. And Pitt, in his riskiest role to date, uses his sexual swagger to subversive comic effect; he's freer, funnier and freakier than you've ever seen him. It's Tyler who shows Jack how to add nitric acid to soap and make nitro-glycerin. It's Tyler who turns fight clubs into militias and then bomb squads ready to blast the foundations of the planet's power base: banks and credit-card companies.
** Peter Travers, [https://www.rollingstone.com/movies/movie-reviews/fight-club-96171/ &quot;Fight Club&quot;], ''Rolling Stone'', (October 16, 1999).

* &quot;We had some great choreographers on the fight scene once we got into the club itself,&quot; says Pitt, who plays Tyler Durden, a self-styled male-consciousness raiser. Newsweek's David Anson reviews Pitt's character as &quot;a kind of Nietzschean Robin Hood, using violence to restore dignity to the benighted American male. &lt;br&gt; &quot;If Rudy Giuliani was upset by a little bit of elephant dung on a portrait of the Virgin Mary,&quot; writes critic Jason Kaufman for NY Rock, referring to the New York mayor's recent displeasure with the Brooklyn Museum of Art's &quot;Sensation&quot; exhibit, &quot;'Fight Club' should give him a coronary on the spot.&quot; &lt;br&gt; Anson, in his Newsweek review, says the film trades in homoerotic imagery without addressing it: &quot;When the movie, after satirizing the gym-enhanced bodies of men in Gucci subway ads (&quot;Self-improvement is masturbation,&quot; Tyler pronounces), cuts to the impeccably lean and cut body of its leading man, it is in the grips of a style-content contradiction that this slick denunciation of surface values battles throughout.&quot;
** Paul Vercammen, [http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/Movies/9910/14/fight.club/ &quot;Brad Pitt spars with 'Fight Club' critics&quot;], ''CNN'', (October 14, 1999).

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{imdb title|id=0137523|title=Fight Club}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes|fight_club|title=Fight Club}}

{{Chuck Palahniuk}}

[[Category:1999 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Satire films]]
[[Category:Black comedy films]]
[[Category:Thriller films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Cult films]]
[[Category:Chuck Palahniuk]]
[[Category:Films about secret societies]]
[[Category:Films directed by David Fincher]]
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      <text bytes="10911" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Circus Tour.jpg|thumb|right|I'm still the same person I've always been.]]
'''[[w:Britney Spears|Britney Jean Spears]]''' (born [[2 December]] [[1981]]) is an [[American]] [[pop music|pop]] [[singer]], [[dancer]], and occasional [[actress]].

== Quotes ==
*Sundance is weird.&amp;nbsp; The [[movies]] are weird—you actually have to [[think]] about them when you watch them.
**After walking out of a screening of ''[[w:The Singing Detective (film)|The Singing Detective]]'' (2003) at the [[w:Sundance Film Festival|Sundance Film Festival]]; quoted in [http://discuss.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/zforum/03/r_entertainment_kempley013103.htm ''The Washington Post'' (31 January 2003)] and other newspapers; later in ''Time'' magazine (10 February 2003) p. 21.

*I just want to say that um, I'm just really, really shocked at like how nice our world is because it's just so nice. Like oh my God! Like, the other day, like I was sitting there and I saw these magazines and they said I was pregnant, and like, it's so true. Like America, believe everything you read. Because, like, you're smart and I'm stupid. Like for real. Come on y'all.
**Sarcastic message delivered in &quot;valley girl&quot; tones, recorded by ''X17online'', as quoted in [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18141662/ns/entertainment-access_hollywood/ &quot;Britney, like, totally breaks her silence&quot;] at ''Access Hollywood'' (17 April 2007).

*[[Eat]] it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!
**Response to a reporter asking her how she was doing, amidst all the media attention giving to her personal life, as quoted in  [http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2007/10/britney_leaves_downtown_after.php &quot;Britney Goes on Foul-Mouthed Tirade&quot; in ''Extra''] (26 October  2007).

*I look back and think I'm a smart person!&amp;nbsp; What the hell was I thinking?
**''[[w:Britney: For the Record|Britney: For the Record]]'' (2008).

===[http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/03/cnna.spears/ CNN interview with Tucker Carlson] (3 September 2003)===
:''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIbb42a6K4I Video source.]''

*'''[[Tucker Carlson|Carlson]]''':&amp;nbsp; Give me the chronology of the kiss.&amp;nbsp; How did you decide to kiss [[Madonna]]?&lt;br&gt;'''Spears''':&amp;nbsp; Well, actually, in rehearsals, it wasn't something that was like, &quot;''Y'know, This is what we're gonna do.&amp;nbsp; Y'know.''&quot;&amp;nbsp; It was just kinda like we play around a little bit and, um, she said during—before the performance, &quot;Let's just feel it out and see what happens.&quot;&amp;nbsp; So I didn't know it was gonna be that long and everything, but it was cool.

*I think I'm still clean living, you know?&amp;nbsp; That's something, when I—I don't go home and have orgies or anything like that.&amp;nbsp; I'm still the same person that I've ''always'' been.&amp;nbsp; So….

*Honestly, I think we should just [[trust]] our [[George W. Bush|president]] in every [[decision]] that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and, um, be [[faithful]] in what happens.
**CNN interview with Tucker Carlson (3 September 2003); later used in ''[[Fahrenheit 9/11]]'' (2004) by [[Michael Moore]].

===[http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/sixtyminutes/stories/2003_11_23/story_1024.asp Diane Sawyer interview], ''[[60 Minutes]]'' (23 November 2003)===
*About shocking. You know I feel comfortable in my skin. I think it's an okay thing to express yourself. 

*Everyone now, they look back and they're like, &quot;What happened to your sweet image that you used to be?&quot; And I'm like, then when you came out you thought I was too provocative. It's like you can never win. No matter what you do, at the end of the day you can't please everybody, you know. I'm not here to please... 

*I think honestly if you can wait until you're married I think you should definitely do that, because it's so much more sacred. That you don't go around sleeping with people. But I mean, I really thought I was going to be with him for the rest of my life, I did.
**Referring to losing her virginity to ex-boyfriend [[Justin Timberlake]]. 

*The only person I do worry about, that I want to be a good person for, I think is my responsibility, is my sister. I'm going to be cool for you, okay. I like, I need to, I like being by myself right now. I think it's good for me.

===[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13347509/page/4/ Matt Lauer interview], MSNBC (14 June 2006)===
*I'm very, very blessed.&amp;nbsp; But my safety, my privacy, and my respect are three things that I feel like are trying to be taken away from me right now.&amp;nbsp; As a mother I have to speak up and say something. I have to speak up.

*I think with anybody who's doing well in the public eye or whatever, there's always gonna be a shift because people don't wanna see somebody happy all the time.&amp;nbsp; And they're gonna try to take shots at people. 

* That driving incident, I did it with my dad.&amp;nbsp; I'd sit on his lap and I drive.&amp;nbsp; We're country.

* Oh, I've wept.&amp;nbsp; Yeah, I've definitely wept just with the world, you know, how judgmental they are.&amp;nbsp; You know what, I know I'm a good mom.

* There will be a &quot;Oops 100.&quot;&amp;nbsp; They'll be plenty more oopses.&amp;nbsp; I'm not perfect.&amp;nbsp; I'm human.

* You have babies at home.&amp;nbsp; And you have a life.&amp;nbsp; And if you don't, you have to realize that we're people and that we just need privacy and we need our respect.&amp;nbsp; And those are things that you have to have as a human being.

* There's always a way.&amp;nbsp; Where there's a will there is a way.&amp;nbsp; You have to believe.

*I'm so blessed with my baby.&amp;nbsp; And I want the most normal life possible for him.&amp;nbsp; And I'll manage, I will create that.

===''[[The X Factor (U.S. TV series)|The X Factor]]'', season 2 (2012)===
*Saying 'no' is so heartbreaking.

==Lyrics==
=== &quot;''...Baby One More Time''&quot;(1999)===
*My loneliness is killing me (and I)&lt;br&gt;I must confess, I still Believe (still believe)&lt;br&gt;When I'm not with you I lose my mind&lt;br&gt;Give me a sign!&lt;br&gt;Hit me Baby One More Time!
**&quot;[[w:...Baby One More Time|...Baby One More Time]]&quot;

*Sometimes I run&lt;br&gt;Sometimes I hide&lt;br&gt;Sometimes I'm Scared Of You
**&quot;[[w:Sometimes|Sometimes]]&quot;

===&quot;&lt;i&gt;Oops!...I did it again&lt;/i&gt;&quot; (2000)===
*Oops!...I did it again&lt;br&gt;I played with your heart&lt;br&gt;got lost in the game&lt;br&gt;Oh baby baby I did this to you please forgive baby

===&quot;In The Zone&quot; (2003)===
*With a taste of your lips&lt;br&gt;I'm on a ride&lt;br&gt;You're toxic, I'm slipping under&lt;br&gt;With a taste of a poison paradise&lt;br&gt;I'm addicted to you&lt;br&gt;Don't you know that you're toxic
**&quot;[[w:Toxic (song)|Toxic]]&quot;

*Every time I try&lt;br&gt;To fly, I fall.&lt;br&gt;Without my wings,&lt;br&gt;I feel so small.
**&quot;[[w:Everytime|Everytime]]&quot;

===''[[w:Britney &amp; Kevin: Chaotic (EP)|Britney &amp; Kevin: Chaotic]]'' (2005)===
*Someday&lt;br&gt;I will understand&lt;br&gt;In God's whole plan&lt;br&gt;And what He's done to me&lt;br&gt;Oh, but maybe&lt;br&gt;Someday I will breathe&lt;br&gt;And I'll finally see&lt;br&gt;I'll see it all in my baby 
**&quot;[[w:Someday (I Will Understand)|Someday (I Will Understand)]]&quot;

===[[w:list of unreleased songs recorded by Britney Spears|Unreleased]]===
*Every day&lt;br&gt;The sun comes up again&lt;br&gt;A little hope begins
**&quot;Every Day&quot; (leaked 6 October 2011)

==About Britney Spears==
*I don't think you can ever count somebody like her out.&amp;nbsp; Because she may appear one way, but she's very clever.
**[[Justin Timberlake]], interview with GQ. [http://www.showbuzz.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/07/19/people/main1817720.shtml] (19 July 2006).

*Yes, I've done Britney Spears, but don't blame me, okay?&amp;nbsp; I make her up and she just takes everything off and does her own thing.
**Britt Bardo, Britney Spears' stylist [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16441604/] (January 2007).

*Her song is called &quot;Gimme More&quot; for a reason: because all you people want is more, more, more, more, more!&amp;nbsp; Leave her alone!&amp;nbsp; You're lucky she even performed for you bastards!&amp;nbsp; Leave Britney alone!&amp;nbsp; Please!&lt;ref&gt;{{cite web|url=https://dotlocal.org/britney-spears-wiki-biography-age-career-facts-more/ |title=About Britney Spears| (Retrieved 3 November 2020)}}&lt;/ref&gt;
**Chris Crocker in a YouTube video blog entry responding to criticism of Spears's performance at the 2007 Video Music Awards [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20750575/] (September 2007).

*Every time I look at that girl on television, I admire her, not because she's a celebrity—I don't admire her celebreality—I admire her because she's a child of [[God]] and doesn't know it.&amp;nbsp; I'm talkin' 'bout Britney Spears.&amp;nbsp; It breaks my heart.&amp;nbsp; [[Anna Nicole Smith|Anna Nicole]], it broke my heart.&amp;nbsp; You know, I knew what she was doing, I didn't like what she was doing, but I know she's a child of God, and I see people all the time, who have so much that don't know they have, so much beauty, inner beauty, and so much going for them that they don't know they're goin', but ''[[the Devil]] will take everything from you'' if you don't know who you are in Christ.
**[[w:Archbishop LeRoy Bailey Jr.|Archbishop LeRoy Bailey Jr.]], senior pastor of The First Cathedral, from a sermon titled [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGd-oTbBOVE &quot;Abundant Overflowing Thought&quot;] (delivered 24 February 2008).

*Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution.&amp;nbsp; How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up?&amp;nbsp; People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.
**[[Billie Joe Armstrong]]
**Fricke, David ([[2007-11-15]]) &quot;BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG&quot;, ''[[Rolling Stone]]'' (1039):140-142.

*Britney’s been doing it since she was like 13.&amp;nbsp; It's kind of fair that she had a little bit of a meltdown.&amp;nbsp; I mean, she's been through a lot.&amp;nbsp; I think she's gonna be alright now.&amp;nbsp; She's an intelligent girl.
**[[Taryn Manning]], ''Black Book'' magazine (10 March 2009).

==External links==
{{commons|Britney Spears}}
{{wikipedia}}
*[http://www.britneyspears.com/ BritneySpears.com: The Official Web Site]
*[http://www.britney.com/ Britney.com Official Website at Jive Records]
*[http://www.uk.britney.com/ UK.Britney.com: The Official UK Site]
*[http://www.britneyarmy.fr It's Britney Army]
*{{imdb name|id=0005453|name=Britney Spears}}
*[http://dir.yahoo.com/Entertainment/Music/Artists/By_Genre/Rock_and_Pop/Spears__Britney/ Britney Spears in Yahoo! Entertainment Directory]
*[http://celebrity01.blogspot.com Britney Spears Blog]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Spears, Britney}}
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]
[[Category:Businesspeople from the United States]]
[[Category:1981 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Pop singers]]
[[Category:Pop music]]
[[Category:Electropop]]
[[Category:Philanthropists from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Mississippi]]
[[Category:Grammy Award winners]]

==References==
{{Reflist}}</text>
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      <text bytes="10957" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Circus Tour.jpg|thumb|right|I'm still the same person I've always been.]]
'''[[w:Britney Spears|Britney Jean Spears]]''' (born [[2 December]] [[1981]]) is an [[American]] [[pop music|pop]] [[singer]], [[dancer]], and occasional [[actress]].

== Quotes ==
*Sundance is weird.&amp;nbsp; The [[movies]] are weird—you actually have to [[think]] about them when you watch them.
**After walking out of a screening of ''[[w:The Singing Detective (film)|The Singing Detective]]'' (2003) at the [[w:Sundance Film Festival|Sundance Film Festival]]; quoted in [http://discuss.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/zforum/03/r_entertainment_kempley013103.htm ''The Washington Post'' (31 January 2003)] and other newspapers; later in ''Time'' magazine (10 February 2003) p. 21.

*I just want to say that um, I'm just really, really shocked at like how nice our world is because it's just so nice. Like oh my God! Like, the other day, like I was sitting there and I saw these magazines and they said I was pregnant, and like, it's so true. Like America, believe everything you read. Because, like, you're smart and I'm stupid. Like for real. Come on y'all.
**Sarcastic message delivered in &quot;valley girl&quot; tones, recorded by ''X17online'', as quoted in [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18141662/ns/entertainment-access_hollywood/ &quot;Britney, like, totally breaks her silence&quot;] at ''Access Hollywood'' (17 April 2007).

*[[Eat]] it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!
**Response to a reporter asking her how she was doing, amidst all the media attention giving to her personal life, as quoted in  [http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2007/10/britney_leaves_downtown_after.php &quot;Britney Goes on Foul-Mouthed Tirade&quot; in ''Extra''] (26 October  2007).

*I look back and think I'm a smart person!&amp;nbsp; What the hell was I thinking?
**''[[w:Britney: For the Record|Britney: For the Record]]'' (2008).

===[http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/03/cnna.spears/ CNN interview with Tucker Carlson] (3 September 2003)===
:''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIbb42a6K4I Video source.]''

*'''[[Tucker Carlson|Carlson]]''':&amp;nbsp; Give me the chronology of the kiss.&amp;nbsp; How did you decide to kiss [[Madonna]]?&lt;br&gt;'''Spears''':&amp;nbsp; Well, actually, in rehearsals, it wasn't something that was like, &quot;''Y'know, This is what we're gonna do.&amp;nbsp; Y'know.''&quot;&amp;nbsp; It was just kinda like we play around a little bit and, um, she said during—before the performance, &quot;Let's just feel it out and see what happens.&quot;&amp;nbsp; So I didn't know it was gonna be that long and everything, but it was cool.

*I think I'm still clean living, you know?&amp;nbsp; That's something, when I—I don't go home and have orgies or anything like that.&amp;nbsp; I'm still the same person that I've ''always'' been.&amp;nbsp; So….

*Honestly, I think we should just [[trust]] our [[George W. Bush|president]] in every [[decision]] that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and, um, be [[faithful]] in what happens.
**CNN interview with Tucker Carlson (3 September 2003); later used in ''[[Fahrenheit 9/11]]'' (2004) by [[Michael Moore]].

===[http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/sixtyminutes/stories/2003_11_23/story_1024.asp Diane Sawyer interview], ''[[60 Minutes]]'' (23 November 2003)===
*About shocking. You know I feel comfortable in my skin. I think it's an okay thing to express yourself. 

*Everyone now, they look back and they're like, &quot;What happened to your sweet image that you used to be?&quot; And I'm like, then when you came out you thought I was too provocative. It's like you can never win. No matter what you do, at the end of the day you can't please everybody, you know. I'm not here to please... 

*I think honestly if you can wait until you're married I think you should definitely do that, because it's so much more sacred. That you don't go around sleeping with people. But I mean, I really thought I was going to be with him for the rest of my life, I did.
**Referring to losing her virginity to ex-boyfriend [[Justin Timberlake]]. 

*The only person I do worry about, that I want to be a good person for, I think is my responsibility, is my sister. I'm going to be cool for you, okay. I like, I need to, I like being by myself right now. I think it's good for me.

===[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13347509/page/4/ Matt Lauer interview], MSNBC (14 June 2006)===
*I'm very, very blessed.&amp;nbsp; But my safety, my privacy, and my respect are three things that I feel like are trying to be taken away from me right now.&amp;nbsp; As a mother I have to speak up and say something. I have to speak up.

*I think with anybody who's doing well in the public eye or whatever, there's always gonna be a shift because people don't wanna see somebody happy all the time.&amp;nbsp; And they're gonna try to take shots at people. 

* That driving incident, I did it with my dad.&amp;nbsp; I'd sit on his lap and I drive.&amp;nbsp; We're country.

* Oh, I've wept.&amp;nbsp; Yeah, I've definitely wept just with the world, you know, how judgmental they are.&amp;nbsp; You know what, I know I'm a good mom.

* There will be a &quot;Oops 100.&quot;&amp;nbsp; They'll be plenty more oopses.&amp;nbsp; I'm not perfect.&amp;nbsp; I'm human.

* You have babies at home.&amp;nbsp; And you have a life.&amp;nbsp; And if you don't, you have to realize that we're people and that we just need privacy and we need our respect.&amp;nbsp; And those are things that you have to have as a human being.

* There's always a way.&amp;nbsp; Where there's a will there is a way.&amp;nbsp; You have to believe.

*I'm so blessed with my baby.&amp;nbsp; And I want the most normal life possible for him.&amp;nbsp; And I'll manage, I will create that.

===''[[The X Factor (U.S. TV series)|The X Factor]]'', season 2 (2012)===
*Saying 'no' is so heartbreaking.

==Lyrics==
=== &quot;''...Baby One More Time''&quot;(1999)===
*My loneliness is killing me (and I)&lt;br&gt;I must confess, I still Believe (still believe)&lt;br&gt;When I'm not with you I lose my mind&lt;br&gt;Give me a sign!&lt;br&gt;Hit me Baby One More Time!
**&quot;[[w:...Baby One More Time|...Baby One More Time]]&quot;

*Sometimes I run&lt;br&gt;Sometimes I hide&lt;br&gt;Sometimes I'm Scared Of You
**&quot;[[w:Sometimes|Sometimes]]&quot;

===&quot;&lt;i&gt;Oops!...I did it again&lt;/i&gt;&quot; (2000)===
*Oops!...I did it again&lt;br&gt;I played with your heart&lt;br&gt;got lost in the game&lt;br&gt;Oh baby baby I did this to you please forgive baby

===&quot;In The Zone&quot; (2003)===
*With a taste of your lips&lt;br&gt;I'm on a ride&lt;br&gt;You're toxic, I'm slipping under&lt;br&gt;With a taste of a poison paradise&lt;br&gt;I'm addicted to you&lt;br&gt;Don't you know that you're toxic
**&quot;[[w:Toxic (song)|Toxic]]&quot;

*Every time I try&lt;br&gt;To fly, I fall.&lt;br&gt;Without my wings,&lt;br&gt;I feel so small.
**&quot;[[w:Everytime|Everytime]]&quot;

===''[[w:Britney &amp; Kevin: Chaotic (EP)|Britney &amp; Kevin: Chaotic]]'' (2005)===
*Someday&lt;br&gt;I will understand&lt;br&gt;In God's whole plan&lt;br&gt;And what He's done to me&lt;br&gt;Oh, but maybe&lt;br&gt;Someday I will breathe&lt;br&gt;And I'll finally see&lt;br&gt;I'll see it all in my baby 
**&quot;[[w:Someday (I Will Understand)|Someday (I Will Understand)]]&quot;

===[[w:list of unreleased songs recorded by Britney Spears|Unreleased]]===
*Every day&lt;br&gt;The sun comes up again&lt;br&gt;A little hope begins
**&quot;Every Day&quot; (leaked 6 October 2011)

==About Britney Spears==
*I don't think you can ever count somebody like her out.&amp;nbsp; Because she may appear one way, but she's very clever.
**[[Justin Timberlake]], interview with GQ. [http://www.showbuzz.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/07/19/people/main1817720.shtml] (19 July 2006).

*Yes, I've done Britney Spears, but don't blame me, okay?&amp;nbsp; I make her up and she just takes everything off and does her own thing.
**Britt Bardo, Britney Spears' stylist [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16441604/] (January 2007).

*Her song is called &quot;Gimme More&quot; for a reason: because all you people want is more, more, more, more, more!&amp;nbsp; Leave her alone!&amp;nbsp; You're lucky she even performed for you bastards!&amp;nbsp; Leave Britney alone!&amp;nbsp; Please!&lt;ref&gt;{{cite web|url=https://dotlocal.org/britney-spears-wiki-biography-age-career-facts-more/ |title=About Britney Spears| (Retrieved 3 November 2020)}}&lt;/ref&gt;
**Chris Crocker in a YouTube video blog entry responding to criticism of Spears's performance at the 2007 Video Music Awards [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20750575/] (September 2007).

*Every time I look at that girl on television, I admire her, not because she's a celebrity—I don't admire her celebreality—I admire her because she's a child of [[God]] and doesn't know it.&amp;nbsp; I'm talkin' 'bout Britney Spears.&amp;nbsp; It breaks my heart.&amp;nbsp; [[Anna Nicole Smith|Anna Nicole]], it broke my heart.&amp;nbsp; You know, I knew what she was doing, I didn't like what she was doing, but I know she's a child of God, and I see people all the time, who have so much that don't know they have, so much beauty, inner beauty, and so much going for them that they don't know they're goin', but ''[[the Devil]] will take everything from you'' if you don't know who you are in Christ.
**[[w:Archbishop LeRoy Bailey Jr.|Archbishop LeRoy Bailey Jr.]], senior pastor of The First Cathedral, from a sermon titled [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGd-oTbBOVE &quot;Abundant Overflowing Thought&quot;] (delivered 24 February 2008).

*Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution.&amp;nbsp; How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up?&amp;nbsp; People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.
**[[Billie Joe Armstrong]]
**Fricke, David ([[2007-11-15]]) &quot;BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG&quot;, ''[[Rolling Stone]]'' (1039):140-142.

*Britney’s been doing it since she was like 13.&amp;nbsp; It's kind of fair that she had a little bit of a meltdown.&amp;nbsp; I mean, she's been through a lot.&amp;nbsp; I think she's gonna be alright now.&amp;nbsp; She's an intelligent girl.
**[[Taryn Manning]], ''Black Book'' magazine (10 March 2009).

==External links==
{{commons|Britney Spears}}
{{wikipedia}}
*[http://www.britneyspears.com/ BritneySpears.com: The Official Web Site]
*[http://www.britney.com/ Britney.com Official Website at Jive Records]
*[http://www.uk.britney.com/ UK.Britney.com: The Official UK Site]
*[http://www.britneyarmy.fr It's Britney Army]
*{{imdb name|id=0005453|name=Britney Spears}}
*[http://dir.yahoo.com/Entertainment/Music/Artists/By_Genre/Rock_and_Pop/Spears__Britney/ Britney Spears in Yahoo! Entertainment Directory]
*[http://celebrity01.blogspot.com Britney Spears Blog]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Spears, Britney}}
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[[Category:Women musicians]]
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[[Category:1981 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Pop singers]]
[[Category:Pop music]]
[[Category:Electropop]]
[[Category:Philanthropists from the United States]]
[[Category:Catholics from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Mississippi]]
[[Category:Grammy Award winners]]

==References==
{{Reflist}}</text>
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    <title>Cheryl James</title>
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      <text bytes="1216" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Cheryl James (salt).jpg|thumb|Cheryl James]]
'''[[w:Cheryl James|Cheryl James]]''' (born [[28 March]] [[1966]]) is an American rap / hip-hop artist known as &quot;Salt&quot; of the group [[w:Salt-n-Pepa|Salt-n-Pepa]].
{{musician-stub}}

== Quotes ==
* What's the matter with your life? Why you gotta mess with mine?
** &quot;None of Your Business&quot;

* The difference between a hooker and a ho ain't nothin' but a fee &lt;br&gt; So hold your tongue tightly, wish you could be like me &lt;br&gt; You're poppin' all that mess only to stress and to spite me &lt;br&gt; Now you can get with that or you can get with this &lt;br&gt; But I don't give a shit cuz really it's none of your business.
** &quot;None of Your Business&quot;

* No, I ain't hard like the bitches on a boulevard &lt;br&gt; My face ain't scarred, and I don't dance in bars. &lt;br&gt; You can call me a tramp if you want to &lt;br&gt; But I remember the punk who just humped and dumped you.
** &quot;None of Your Business&quot;

* So the moral of this story is: Who are you to judge? &lt;br&gt; There's only one true judge, and that's God &lt;br&gt; So chill, and let my Father do His job.
** &quot;None of Your Business&quot;

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:James, Cheryl}}
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[[File:Blade Runner box.svg|thumb|More [[human]] than human.]]
'''''[[w:Blade Runner|Blade Runner]]''''' ([[w:1982 in film|1982]]) is an American science-fiction film, directed by [[w:Ridley Scott|Ridley Scott]], with a screenplay written by Hampton Fancher and David Peoples, loosely based on the novel ''[[Philip K. Dick#Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (1968) |Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?]]'' by [[Philip K. Dick]].
:''For the game, see [[Blade Runner (video game)]]''

== Rick Deckard ==
[[File:Spear point knife blade.jpg|thumb|Replicants are like any other machine. They're either a benefit or a hazard. If they're a benefit, it's not my problem.]]
[[File:Darwinek-bnw.jpg|thumb|Replicants weren't supposed to have feelings... neither were blade runners.]]

* '''I'm Deckard. Blade Runner.''' B Two sixty-three fifty-four. I'm filed and monitored.

* '''I was quit when I came in here. I'm twice as quit now.''' &lt;!-- This has often been altered from &quot;quit&quot; to &quot;quick&quot; perhaps because of being rendered as such elsewhere, but &quot;quit&quot; is clearly correct. --&gt;
** In response to news that he is wanted on another assignment as a &quot;blade runner&quot; — an officer of the law who &quot;retires&quot; renegade &quot;replicants.&quot;

* '''Replicants are like any other machine. They're either a benefit or a hazard. If they're a benefit, it's not my problem.'''

* I don't get it, Tyrell. How can it not know what it is?
** On Rachael not knowing that she is a replicant. 

* Memories, you're talking about memories.

* [''Revealing to Rachael that she is a replicant''] You ever tell anyone that? Your mother, Tyrell? They're implants. Those aren't your memories, they're somebody else's. They're Tyrell's niece's. Okay, bad joke, I'm sorry... No, really, I made a bad joke. Go home, you're not a Replicant... (sigh) you wanna drink? I'll get you a drink.

* I've had people walk out on me before, but not when I was being so charming.

=== Voiceovers ===
[[File:2012-09_Polska_Cerekiew_20.jpg|thumb|I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life... anybody's life... my life.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These were expunged from the Director's Cut version. It has been said that both Scott and Ford were unhappy with the dialogue, as it was forced by the studio and was written by another scriptwriter ([[w:Roland Kibbee|Roland Kibbee]]) not associated with the project. They can still be found in International editions, and all were spoken by [[w:Harrison Ford|Harrison Ford]].&lt;/small&gt;

* '''They don't advertise for killers in the newspaper. That was my profession. Ex-cop. Ex-blade runner. Ex-killer.'''

* Sushi. That's what my ex-wife used to call me. &quot;Cold fish.&quot; 

* The charmer's name was Gaff, I'd seen him around. Bryant must have upped him to the Blade Runner unit. That gibberish he talked was city speak, gutter talk. A mishmash of Japanese, Spanish, German, what have you. I didn't really need a translator, I knew the lingo, every good cop did. But I wasn't going to make it easier for him.

* &quot;Skin jobs&quot;. That's what Bryant called Replicants. In history books he's the kind of cop who used to call black men &quot;niggers&quot;.

* '''I'd quit because I'd had a belly full of killing.''' But then I'd rather be a killer than a victim, and that's exactly what Bryant's threat about &quot;little people&quot; meant. So I hooked in once more thinking if I couldn't take it I'd split later. I didn't have to worry about Gaff. He was brown-nosing for a promotion, so he didn't want me around anyway.

* I didn't know whether Leon gave Holden a legit address. But it was the only lead I had, so I checked it out.

* Whatever was in the bathtub was not human. Replicants don't have scales.

* And family photos? Replicants didn't have families either.

* '''Tyrell really did a job on Rachael.''' Right down to a snapshot of a mother she never had... a daughter she never was. '''Replicants weren't supposed to have feelings... neither were blade runners.''' What the hell was happening to me?

* Leon's pictures had to be as phony as Rachael's. I didn't know why a Replicant would collect photos. Maybe they were like Rachael... they needed memories.

* The report would be &quot;routine retirement of a Replicant&quot;, which didn't make me feel any better about shooting a woman in the back. There it was again... feeling in myself... for her... for Rachael.

* '''I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life... anybody's life... my life.''' All he'd wanted was the same answers the rest of us want. Where do I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? All I could do is sit there and watch him die.

* Gaff had been there, and let her live. Four years, he figured. He was wrong. Tyrell had told me Rachael was special: no termination date. '''I didn't know how long we had together... who does?'''

:&lt;small&gt;This narration was only used for the film's workprint. The only piece of narration used in this version, it is an alternate version of Deckard's questioning of Roy saving his life.&lt;/small&gt;

*'''I watched him die all night.''' It was a long, slow thing... and he fought it all the way. He never whimpered, and he never quit. '''He took all the time he had, as though he loved life very much. Every second of it... even the pain. Then, he was dead.'''

==Bryant==
[[File:AthensRiot5.jpg|thumb|You know the score, pal! If you're not cop, you're little people.]]
* Don't be an asshole, Deckard. I've got four skin-jobs walking the streets.

* He can breathe okay as long as nobody unplugs him.

* Stop right where you are! You know the score, pal! If you're not cop, you're little people.

* Christ, Deckard, you look almost as bad as that skin-job you left on the sidewalk!

* You could learn from this guy Gaff, he's a god-damn one man slaughterhouse.

* '''Talk about beauty and the beast — she's both.'''

* '''The only way you can hurt him is to kill him.'''

==Eldon Tyrell==
* Milk and cookies kept you awake, eh, Sebastian?

* '''Commerce is our goal here at Tyrell. &quot;More human than human&quot; is our motto.'''

==Rachael==
[[File:Bradbury Hotel.jpg|thumb|Have you ever retired a human by mistake?]]
* '''Have you ever retired a human by mistake?'''

* Is this testing whether I'm a Replicant or a lesbian, Mr. Deckard?

* '''I'm not in the business. I ''am'' the business.'''

* You know that Voight-Kampff test of yours? '''Did you ever take that test yourself?'''

==Leon==
* '''Painful to live in fear, isn't it?'''

* Nothing is worse than having an itch you can never scratch.

* Wake up! Time to die!

==Roy Batty==

* Fiery the angels fell; deep thunder rolled around their shores; burning with the fires of Orc.
**This is a deliberate misquote of [[wikipedia: William Blake|William Blake's]] ''[[wikipedia:America a Prophecy|America a Prophecy]]'' &quot;Fiery the angels rose, and as they rose deep thunder roll'd / Around their shores: indignant burning with the fires of Orc.&quot; In context, the Replicants were exiled from Earth, to the off-world space colonies, but Roy's group of Replicants hijacked a ship to sneak back to Earth. Thus in a sense, like Lucifer and the Fallen Angels, Roy and his group were both &quot;cast out&quot; and &quot;fell to Earth&quot; (though not at the same time).

*Gosh, you've really got some nice toys here.

* '''Proud of yourself, little man?'''
** After hunting down Deckard, who had already killed Pris.

* Not very sporting to fire on an unarmed opponent. I thought you were supposed to be good. Aren't you the... &quot;good&quot; man?

* C'mon Deckard, show me... what you're made of... ''[pulls Deckard's hand through the wall and removes his gun]''... This is for Zhora ''[breaks finger]'' and this is for Pris ''[breaks another]'' You gotta shoot straight! ''[Deckard shoots and misses]'' Straight doesn't seem good enough!

* You better get it up.  Or I'm gonna have to kill ya.

* We're not computers, Sebastian, we're physical.
** After Sebastian asks Roy and Pris to &quot;do something&quot;

* That...''hurt''. That was ''irrational''. Not to mention, unsportsman-like. Ha ha ha. ''[pause]'' Where are you going?
** After Deckard beats him with a lead pipe.

* Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave.
** Standing over Deckard as he hangs from the side of the building.

* '''I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.'''

==Gaff==
* You've done a man's job, sir! I guess you're through, huh?

* '''It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?'''

==Pris==
* Then we're stupid, and we'll die.

* [[w:I think, therefore I am|I think, Sebastian, therefore I am]].

==J.F. Sebastian==
* They're my friends. I make them.

* There's some of me in you.

==Others==
* '''PA Voice: '''A new life awaits you in the Off-World colonies. The chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure!

* '''Holden: '''The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, trying to turn itself over but it can't.  Not without your help.  But you're not helping.

* '''Hannibal Chew:''' You not come here! Illegal!

* '''Zhora:''' You think I'd be working in a place like this if I could afford a real snake?

==Dialogue==
[[File:The Blade Runner Tyrell Skyscraper model.jpg|thumb|The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and you have burned so very very brightly, Roy. Look at you. You're the prodigal son. You're quite a prize!]]
[[File:Here comes rain again.jpg|thumb|All those ... ''moments'' will be lost in time, like tears...in rain.]]
:'''Dave Holden''': Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother?
:'''Leon Kowalski''': My mother?
:'''Holden''': Yes.
:'''Leon''': Let me tell you about my mother! ''[shoots Holden]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Policeman''': ''(Korean)'' Hey, idi-wa. (Hey, come here.)
:'''Gaff''': ''(French/Hungarian/German)'' Monsieur, azonnal kövessen engem, bitte. (Sir, please come with me at once.)
:'''Howie Lee''': He say you under arrest, Mr. Deckard.
:'''Rick Deckard''': Got the wrong guy, pal.
:'''Gaff''': ''(Hungarian)'' Lófaszt! Nehogy már! Te vagy a Blade, Blade Runner. (Horse shit! Don't give me that! You're a Blade Runner.)
:'''Lee''': He say you Blade Runner.
:'''Deckard''': Tell him I'm eating.
:'''Gaff''': ''(Japanese)'' Captain Bryant toka. Meni-o mae-yo. (Captain Bryant insists. Face to face.)
:'''Deckard''': Bryant, huh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rachael''': It seems you feel our work is not of benefit to the public.
:'''Rick Deckard''': Replicants are like any other machine: they're either a benefit or a hazard.  If they're a benefit, it's not my problem.
:'''Rachael''': May I ask you a personal question?
:'''Deckard''': Sure.
:'''Rachael''': Have you ever retired a human by mistake?
:'''Deckard''': No.
:'''Rachael''': But in your position that is a risk.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eldon Tyrell''': I'm surprised you didn't come here sooner.
:'''Roy Batty''': It's not an easy thing to meet your maker.
:'''Tyrell''': What can he do for you?
:'''Roy''': Can the maker repair what he makes?
:'''Tyrell''': Would you like to be modified? 
:'''Roy''': [to J. F. Sebastian] Stay here.
:'''Roy''': Had in mind something a little more radical. 
:'''Tyrell''': What? What seems to be the problem? 
:'''Roy''': Death. 
:'''Tyrell''': Death? Well, I'm afraid that's a little out of my jurisdiction, you—
:'''Roy''': I want more life, fucker!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eldon Tyrell''': You were made as well as we could make you.
:'''Roy Batty''': But not to last.
:'''Tyrell''': '''The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and you have burned so very very brightly, Roy.''' Look at you. You're the prodigal son. You're quite a prize!
:'''Roy''': I've done questionable things.
:'''Tyrell''': Also extraordinary things. Revel in your time!
:'''Roy''': Nothing the god of biomechanics wouldn't let you in heaven for. ''[kisses Tyrell and kills him]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hannibal Chew''': You Nexus, huh? I design your eyes.
:'''Roy Batty''': Chew, if only you could see what I have seen with your eyes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Roy Batty''': ''[taunting Deckard with a counting rhyme]'' Six! Seven! Go to Hell or go to Heaven!
:''[Deckard beats Roy on the side of the head with a lead pipe]''
:'''Roy''': '''Good! That's the spirit!'''

== Voight-Kampff test questions ==
* It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet.

* You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar.

* You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm. 

* You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that? 

* Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

* You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your husband. He likes it so much, he hangs it on your bedroom wall. 

* You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion. 

* One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog.
** &lt;small&gt;Rachael &quot;fails&quot; this question when she shows more empathy for the oysters than the dogs, indicating she's a Replicant by her inappropriate emotional response.&lt;/small&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Man has made his match. Now it's his problem.

== Quotes about ''Blade Runner'' ==
[[File:Modified_OZ_Shop_blaster_1.jpg|thumb|The purpose of this story as I saw it was that in his [[job]] of [[hunting]] and [[killing]] these replicants, Deckard becomes progressively [[w:Dehumanization|dehumanized]]. At the same time, the replicants are being perceived as becoming more human. Finally, Deckard must question what he is doing, and really what is the essential difference between him and them? And, to take it one step further, who is he if there is no real difference? ~ [[Philip K. Dick]]]]
[[File:Blade_Runner_Five-Disc_Ultimate_Collector's_Edition_10.jpg|thumb|That was the main area of contention between Ridley and myself at the time. I thought the [[audience]] deserved one [[human]] being on screen that they could establish an emotional relationship with. I thought I had won Ridley's agreement to that, but in fact I think he had a little reservation about that. I think he really wanted to have it both ways. ~ [[Harrison Ford]]]]
&lt;!-- [[|thumb|THE view of the future offered by Ridley Scott's muddled yet mesmerizing ''Blade Runner'' is as intricately detailed as anything a science-fiction film has yet envisioned. The year is 2019, the place Los Angeles, the landscape garish but bleak. The city is a canyon bounded by industrial towers, some of which belch fire. Advertising billboards, which are everywhere, now feature lifelike electronic people who are the size of giants. The police cruise both horizontally and vertically on their patrol routes, but there is seldom anyone to arrest, because the place is much emptier than it used to be. In an age of space travel, anyone with the wherewithal has presumably gone away. Only the dregs remain. ~ Janet Maslin]] --&gt;
[[File:ExpoSYFY_-_Blade_Runner_(8522248276).jpg|thumb|It is a starkly empty film, preoccupied as it is with the thought that people themselves might be hollow. The plot depends on the notion that the replicants must be allowed to live no longer than four years, because as time passes they begin to develop raw emotions. Why emotion should be a capital offence is never sufficiently explained; but it is of a piece with the film’s investigation of a flight from feeling – what psychologist Ian D Suttie once named the “taboo on tenderness”. Intimacy here is frightful (everyone appears to live alone), especially that closeness that suggests that the replicants might be indistinguishable from us. ~ Michael Newton]]
[[File:Costumes from Blade Runner at the Science Fiction Museum.jpg|thumb|It’s not just that Harrison Ford looks dashing in neo-noir future wear or that the lighting is always moody and perfect, as if the entire city had been converted into a sultry nightclub — though none of that hurts. It’s that Blade Runner presents its futuristic city as one that is overrun by the liveliness of mass humanity. Its bustling sci-fi cityscape is defined by diversity and walkability, by commerce and cultural mixing, by industrial ingenuity and panoramas of larger-than-life advertising. Even as the city is dying, it teems with the business of life. &lt;br&gt; The combination of realism and romanticism makes the movie’s 2019 Los Angeles a place you can imagine not only going to but wanting to visit. ~ Peter Suderman]]

* The purpose of this story as I saw it was that in his [[job]] of [[hunting]] and [[killing]] these replicants, Deckard becomes progressively [[w:Dehumanization|dehumanized]]. At the same time, the replicants are being perceived as becoming more human. Finally, Deckard must question what he is doing, and really what is the essential difference between him and them? And, to take it one step further, who is he if there is no real difference?
** [[Philip K. Dick]], &quot;P.K. Dick Interview&quot;, ''Devo.com'', (Retrieved May 23, 2012). {{fact}}

* In an earlier review of &quot;Blade Runner,&quot; I wrote; &quot;It looks fabulous, it uses special effects to create a new world of its own, but it is thin in its human story.&quot; This seems a strange complaint, given that so much of the movie concerns who is, and is not, human, and what it means to be human anyway.  &lt;br&gt; Now study that paragraph again and notice I have committed a journalistic misdemeanor. I have referred to replicants without ever establishing what a replicant is. It is a tribute to the influence and reach of &quot;Blade Runner&quot; that 25 years after its release virtually everyone reading this knows about replicants. Reviews of &quot;[[The Wizard of Oz]]&quot; never define Munchkins, do they? This is a seminal film, building on older classics like &quot;[[Metropolis]]&quot; (1926) or &quot;[[Things to Come]],&quot; but establishing a pervasive view of the future that has influenced science fiction films ever since. Its key legacies are: Giant global corporations, environmental decay, overcrowding, technological progress at the top, poverty or slavery at the bottom -- and, curiously, almost always a film noir vision. Look at &quot;[[Dark City]],&quot; &quot;[[Total Recall]],&quot; &quot;[[w:Brazil (film)|Brazil]],&quot; &quot;[[12 Monkeys]]&quot; or &quot;[[Gattaca]]&quot; and you will see its progeny. &lt;br&gt; I have never quite embraced &quot;Blade Runner,&quot; admiring it at arm's length, but now it is time to cave in and admit it to the canon. 
** [[Roger Ebert]], [https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/great-movie-blade-runner-the-final-cut-1982 “Blade Runner: The Final Cut&quot;], ''Roberebert.com'', (November 3, 2007)

* What I have always wondered is why the Tyrell Corporation made their androids so lifelike. Why not give them four arms and settle the matter, and get more work out of them? Is there a buried possibility that Tyrell's long-range plan is to replace humans altogether? Is the whole blade-running caper simply a cover for his scheme? But never mind. What matters to the viewer is that the ground rules seem to be in place, and apply in one of the most extraordinary worlds ever created in a film.
** Roger Ebert, [https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/great-movie-blade-runner-the-final-cut-1982 “Blade Runner: The Final Cut&quot;], ''Roberebert.com'', (November 3, 2007)

* That was the main area of contention between Ridley and myself at the time. I thought the [[audience]] deserved one [[human]] being on screen that they could establish an emotional relationship with. I thought I had won Ridley's agreement to that, but in fact I think he had a little reservation about that. I think he really wanted to have it both ways.
** [[Harrison Ford]], ''[http://media.bladezone.com/contents/ford-BR.mov Hollywood Greats]'' – Edited clip from BBC1 documentary program. 

* About ten minutes into Blade Runner, I reeled out of the theater in complete despair over its visual brilliance and its similarity to the “look” of Neuromancer, my [then] largely unwritten first novel. Not only had I been beaten to the semiotic punch, but this damned movie looked better than the images in my head! [...] It was also obvious that Scott understood the importance of information density to perceptual overload. When Blade Runner works best, it induces a lyrical sort of information sickness, that quintessentially postmodern cocktail of ecstasy and dread. It was what cyberpunk was supposed to be all about
** [[William Gibson]], ''Details'', (October 1992).

* The secret of &quot;Blade Runner&quot; is that Scott's fantastically baroque, future-shock imagery, all dark decay and techno-clutter, effectively becomes the story. As the layers of mood and detail settle in, the very process by which we watch the film — scanning those shimmering, claustrophobic frames for signs of life — turns into a running metaphor for what &quot;Blade Runner&quot; is about: a world in which humanity has been snuffed by &quot;progress.&quot; This is perhaps the only science-fiction film that can be called transcendental.
** Owen Gleiberman, [https://ew.com/article/1992/10/02/blade-runner-2/ “Blade Runner”], ''Entertainment Weekly'', (October 02, 1992)

* As the movie explored 1980s themes, including genetic engineering and consumerism, it said more with production design than words, detailing a grim, overcrowded future where ornate architecture has been replaced by industrial overload. Harrison Ford, as Deckard, has an apartment so cramped and blocky, he appears to be living in a game of Tetris.
** Peter Hartlaub, [https://www.sfgate.com/movies/article/Review-Blade-Runner-3233520.php “Review: 'Blade Runner'”], ''SFGate'', (November 30, 2007)

* In 1982, the movie Blade Runner envisaged the then far-off future world of November 2019 as being filled with lifelike androids, neon-drenched cities and ubiquitous flying cars. &lt;br&gt; But November 2019 has arrived, and the future looks very different from the sci-fi noir prediction.
** Stuart Layt, [https://www.smh.com.au/national/flying-cars-didn-t-take-off-but-blade-runner-wasn-t-far-off-after-all-20191101-p536pb.html “Flying cars didn't take off but Blade Runner wasn't far off after all”], ''Sydney Morning Herald'', (November 1, 2019)

* “Today we use [[w:WhatsApp|WhatsApp]] or [[w:FaceTime|FaceTime]] or whatever program you use to make video calls but in the movie they predicted people would go to video-phone booths,” he said. &lt;br&gt; “So although the movie seemed quite advanced at the time and we are yet to get to some of its predictions, in other ways we’ve actually surpassed where the movie thought we would be.”
** Stuart Layt, [https://www.smh.com.au/national/flying-cars-didn-t-take-off-but-blade-runner-wasn-t-far-off-after-all-20191101-p536pb.html “Flying cars didn't take off but Blade Runner wasn't far off after all”], ''Sydney Morning Herald'', (November 1, 2019)

* THE view of the future offered by Ridley Scott's muddled yet mesmerizing ''Blade Runner'' is as intricately detailed as anything a science-fiction film has yet envisioned. The year is 2019, the place Los Angeles, the landscape garish but bleak. The city is a canyon bounded by industrial towers, some of which belch fire. Advertising billboards, which are everywhere, now feature lifelike electronic people who are the size of giants. The police cruise both horizontally and vertically on their patrol routes, but there is seldom anyone to arrest, because the place is much emptier than it used to be. In an age of space travel, anyone with the wherewithal has presumably gone away. Only the dregs remain.
** [[w:Janet Maslin|Janet Maslin]], [https://www.nytimes.com/1982/06/25/movies/futuristic-blade-runner.html &quot;FUTURISTIC 'BLADE RUNNER'”], (June 25, 1982)

* At several points in the story, Deckard is called on to wonder whether Rachael has feelings. This seems peculiar, because the icy, poised Rachael, played by Sean Young as a 1940's heroine with spaceage trimmings, seems a lot more expressive than Deckard, who is played by Harrison Ford. Mr. Ford is, for a movie so darkly fanciful, rather a colorless hero; he fades too easily into the bleak background. And he is often upstaged by Rutger Hauer, who in this film and in ''Night Hawks'' appears to be specializing in fiendish roles. Mr. Hauer is properly cold-blooded here, but there is something almost humorous behind his nastiness. In any case, he is by far the most animated performer in a film intentionally populated by automatons.
** Janet Maslin, [https://www.nytimes.com/1982/06/25/movies/futuristic-blade-runner.html &quot;FUTURISTIC 'BLADE RUNNER'”], (June 25, 1982)

* The end of the film is both [[gruesome]] and [[sentimental]]. Mr. Scott can't have it both ways, any more than he can expect overdecoration to carry a film that has neither strong [[characters]] nor a strong [[story]]. That hasn't stopped him from trying, even if it perhaps should have.
** Janet Maslin, [https://www.nytimes.com/1982/06/25/movies/futuristic-blade-runner.html &quot;FUTURISTIC 'BLADE RUNNER'”], (June 25, 1982)

* In the context of [[science fiction]], Deckard is the rare [[existential]] sci-fi hero. His claims to heroism are not that of a fantasy character like [[Superman]] but of an ordinary man confronted with a situation in which he may either escape or be seduced by his environment, and whose testament of courage is that he does not resign himself to the mo-rose life of his contemporaries. Having been nurtured by a pessimistic environment, Deckard manages to rise above the dreariness and corruption of his world and es-cape the suffocating influences of the future Los Angeles, while rescuing the hunted woman he loves  &lt;br&gt; Since &quot;Blade Runner&quot; is a study of the individual's emptiness in the face of his society, Deckard succeeds in doing what few characters in [[Hollywood]] science fiction have done: He outgrows his futuristic, technologically-awesome world and reestablishes his worth as a human being (or, if you will, a replicant), something which, though not as spectacular as defeating a squadron of invading [[aliens]] or slaying a [[monster]], is nonetheless just as triumphant –and, in a [[w:Dystopia|dystopian]] [[future]], something even harder to accomplish. 
** David Morgan, [http://www.loc.gov/static/programs/national-film-preservation-board/documents/blade_runner.pdf “Film Essay for Blade Runner”], ''Library of Congress National Film Preservation Board'', as appeared in wideanglecloseup.com. 

* It is a starkly empty film, preoccupied as it is with the thought that people themselves might be hollow. The plot depends on the notion that the replicants must be allowed to live no longer than four years, because as time passes they begin to develop raw emotions. Why emotion should be a capital offence is never sufficiently explained; but it is of a piece with the film’s investigation of a flight from feeling – what psychologist Ian D Suttie once named the “taboo on tenderness”. Intimacy here is frightful (everyone appears to live alone), especially that closeness that suggests that the replicants might be indistinguishable from us. &lt;br&gt; This anxiety may originally have had tacit political resonances. In the novel that the film is based on, Philip K Dick’s thoughtful ''Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?'' (1968), the dilemma of the foot soldier plays out, commanded to kill an adversary considered less human than ourselves, yet troubled by the possibility that the enemy are in fact no different. Shades of [[Vietnam]] darken the story, as well as memories of America’s [[slave]]-owning past. We are told that the replicants can do everything a human being can do, except feel [[empathy]]. Yet how much empathy do we feel for faraway victims or inconvenient others?
** Michael Newton, [https://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/mar/14/why-blade-runner-is-timeless “Tears in rain? Why Blade Runner is timeless “], ''The Guardian'', (14 Mar 2015).

* People tend to classify my movies as cyberpunk fictions but I personally don't think they are. There are some films that I really enjoy such as Blade Runner, and they may have been helpful in shaping my movies to a certain degree. When you create a film dealing with humans and cyborgs, you have no choice but to refer back to Ridley Scott's Blade Runner, as this movie is probably the foundation of movies with this theme. Whether I'm trying to re-appropriate his language or not may not apply to my movies, because my goal is to always make a new movie that nobody has ever seen before. I think I've proven that with [[Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence|Innocence]]. 
** [[w:Mamoru Oshii|Mamoru Oshii]], [http://www.midnighteye.com/interviews/mamoru-oshii/ ''Midnight Eye''], (Sep 23, 2004).

* You want an accounting, not a whodunnit but a what-got-dun? Blade Runner got the computerized parking meters right, and the talking streetlights. (“Cross now … cross now … don’t walk … don’t walk.”) Robot Metrokabs? So close. Streetside newsstands carrying an array of glossy magazines? Yeah, about that. Face-recognizing polygraphs? Check your phone’s forward-facing camera. We enhance digital photographs, and we have voice-controlled gadgets in our kitchens. Billionaires promise a life off-world of excitement and adventure, but we don’t even have billboard dirigibles, much less reliable rockets.
** Adam Rogers, [https://www.wired.com/story/los-angeles-blade-runner-theory-relativity “Los Angeles, Blade Runner, and the Theory of Relativity”], ''WIRED'', (11.01.2019)

* ''Blade Runner'' always raised far more questions, literal and cosmological, than it answered, glibly presenting us with a complex and mysterious vision of our future selves, telling us only the scraps we needed to know to follow a plot about a detective who must find and kill the 21st Century equivalent of illegal aliens-so-called ''replicants,'' robots so sophisticated they can pass for humans.
** Johanna Steinmetz, [https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1992-09-11-9203220762-story.html “RE-EDITED `BLADE RUNNER` BOASTS A HARD-EDGED BRILLIANCE”], ''CHICAGO TRIBUNE'', (September 11, 1992).

*  Blade Runner is a big-budget mood piece, an existential tone poem about the precarious nature of humanity and its relationship to the planet, set in one of the most elaborately constructed and imagined futures ever put on film. &lt;br&gt; Watch any of Blade Runner’s street scenes, and it’s immediately apparent how much work went into creating its near-future Los Angeles. Director Ridley Scott’s shots are densely packed, nearly cluttered, with information: old cars outfitted with industrial odds and ends; flying vehicles with blinking monitors; graffiti-covered video payphones; storefronts with blaring neon signs competing for your attention; bands of strangely dressed people carrying umbrellas lit from the handles; video advertising, some of it vaguely menacing, plastered everywhere. Dirt and smog and steam coat everything.
** Peter Suderman, [https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/10/2/16375126/blade-runner-future-city-ridley-scott “Blade Runner’s 2019 Los Angeles helped define the American city of the future”], ''Vox'', (Oct 2, 2017).

* It’s not just that Harrison Ford looks dashing in neo-noir future wear or that the lighting is always moody and perfect, as if the entire city had been converted into a sultry nightclub — though none of that hurts. It’s that Blade Runner presents its futuristic city as one that is overrun by the liveliness of mass humanity. Its bustling sci-fi cityscape is defined by diversity and walkability, by commerce and cultural mixing, by industrial ingenuity and panoramas of larger-than-life advertising. Even as the city is dying, it teems with the business of life. &lt;br&gt; The combination of realism and romanticism makes the movie’s 2019 Los Angeles a place you can imagine not only going to but wanting to visit.
** Peter Suderman, [https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/10/2/16375126/blade-runner-future-city-ridley-scott “Blade Runner’s 2019 Los Angeles helped define the American city of the future”], ''Vox'', (Oct 2, 2017).

* With its references to off-world colonies -- where humans get &quot;a chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure&quot; -- &quot;Blade Runner&quot; was ahead of its time in introducing the idea that there are consequences to humankind's actions on Earth. 
** Kendall Trammell, [https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/28/movies/blade-runner-predictions-2019-trnd/index.html “'Blade Runner' predicted what life would be like in 2019. Here's what the movie got right -- and wrong”],  ''CNN'', (December 31, 2018).

* The key design concept came to be called retrofitting, the idea being that once cities start to seriously break down, no one would bother to start new construction from scratch. Rather, such essentials as electrical and ventilation systems would simply be added onto the exteriors of older buildings, giving them a clunky, somehow menacing look. Progress and decay would exist hand in hand, and the city’s major buildings, like the massive, [[Mayan]]-inspired pyramid that houses the Tyrell Corp., would tower miles above the squalor below.
** [[w:Kenneth Turan|Kenneth Turan]], [https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/movies/la-et-mn-blade-runner-2-turan-19920913-story.html “From the Archives: ‘Blade Runner’ went from Harrison Ford’s ‘miserable’ production to Ridley Scott’s unicorn scene, ending as a cult classic”], ''Los Angeles Times'', (Oct. 5, 2017).

* According to one source, the preview cards filled out after both screenings told the same story: “This was a film that made demands on an audience that wasn’t expecting a movie that made demands on them, an audience somewhat befuddled by the film and very disappointed by the ending.” It wasn’t so much that people actively disliked “Blade Runner,” they were simply unprepared for it. Another crisis had arrived.
** Kenneth Turan, [https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/movies/la-et-mn-blade-runner-2-turan-19920913-story.html “From the Archives: ‘Blade Runner’ went from Harrison Ford’s ‘miserable’ production to Ridley Scott’s unicorn scene, ending as a cult classic”], ''Los Angeles Times'', (Oct. 5, 2017).

=== Dialogue ===
:'''[[w:Syd Mead|Syd Mead]]''': [My primary influence was] from [[Chicago]] and [[New York]], because they're grid cities. And New York already had buildings over 1,000 feet — well, the Empire State Building. And so I thought, well let's add another thousand feet or so — why not? &lt;br&gt; So I had this vision of these incredible tall buildings, and that triggered the idea of how do you get in and out of a building that's 3,000 feet tall? Well, you need access on the ground plane. And that's why they had these pyramids at the bottom, for greater access around the perimeter to get into the building in the first place.
:'''[[w:David L. Snyder|David L. Snyder]]''': What Ridley said was, he would draw, and Syd Mead would draw, and everyone would draw, and then &quot;the poor bastard art departments&quot; had to build everything.
:'''[[w:Hampton Fancher|Hampton Fancher]]''': The reason I was able to write the movie, and not be distracted as I always am by a million other things, is because I was very serious about the demise of the planet. You know, this is '75. This is acid [rain]. Until 1980, it was like, Whole Earth Catalog, CoEvolution. It was important to me.
:* Mike Roe, [https://laist.com/2019/11/05/blade-runner-november-2019-los-angeles-future-is-here.php “An Oral History Of Blade Runner's 2019 Los Angeles, Because The Future Has Arrived”], ''LAist'', (November 5, 2019).

== Cast ==
*[[Harrison Ford]] - Rick Deckard
*[[w:Rutger Hauer|Rutger Hauer]] - Roy Batty
*[[w:Sean Young|Sean Young]] - Rachael
*[[w:Edward James Olmos|Edward James Olmos]] - Gaff
*[[w:M. Emmet Walsh|M. Emmet Walsh]] - Bryant
*[[w:Daryl Hannah|Daryl Hannah]] - Pris
*[[w:William Sanderson|William Sanderson]] - J.F. Sebastian
*[[w:Brion James|Brion James]] - Leon
*[[w:Joe Turkel|Joe Turkel]] - Tyrell
*[[w:Joanna Cassidy|Joanna Cassidy]] - Zhora
*[[w:James Hong|James Hong]] - Hannibal Chew
*[[w:Morgan Paull|Morgan Paull]] - Holden
*Kevin Thompson - Bear
*John Edward Allen - Kaiser
*[[w:Hy Pyke|Hy Pyke]] - Taffey Lewis
*Ben Astar - Abdul Ben Hassan

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:1982 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Dystopian films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Neo-noir]]
[[Category:Science fiction films]]
[[Category:Ridley Scott films]]
[[Category:Films based on works by Philip K. Dick]]
[[Category:Robot films]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]
[[Category:Action thriller films]]</text>
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      <text bytes="7172" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Megan Mullally by Gage Skidmore.jpg|thumb|Megan Mullally in 2011]]

'''[[w:Megan Mullally|Megan Mullally]]''' (born [[12 November]] [[1958]]) is an American actress, comedienne, singer and dancer.

== Quotes ==

* It doesn't matter who you love, it's that you love. Who cares if men marry men or women marry women? In San Francisco you don't care, and I applaud that. And I applaud [[Gavin Newsom|Mayor Newsom]] for being so brave.
** Upon receiving GLAAD's Golden Gate Award, which honors a member of the entertainment or media community for their outstanding contribution in combating homophobia

*See, I thought that [[Jay Leno|Jay]] has had too many high class, very hoity-toity guests on this week. And I wanted to bring everything down a notch or two. 
** Appearing on &quot;The Tonight Show With Jay Leno&quot;

== Attributed ==

* &quot;He's kicking such major ass that it's insane!&quot;
** On [[Tony Bennett]]

* It is no big deal to me. I have always been attracted to women, and I went on dates with women if they asked me.... It did not seem that different to me. But then I met my [husband], and now he is the apple of my eye.

* I consider myself bisexual, and my philosophy is, everyone innately is, although I've never had a full-on relationship with a woman, just a couple of what I'd term half-assed dalliances. So I haven't explored it to the degree that I'd like to, but I'll tell you, I'm open to it. And I don't have any problem saying that.

*[Madonna] worked so hard that it was really very touching. She’s a perfectionist and there’s never been anyone on the show that wanted to rehearse more than Madonna did. She wanted to rehearse her scenes over and over again.

*Chicago is my favorite American city. … I like all the museums. I love the Art Institute. I love all the theatre and the blues clubs and bars, and the people are so great. I think Chicago is the perfect blend of a big city with a Midwestern finish on it. Everybody is really nice but it is a sophisticated city. I love the park. I love the zoo. I love the lake. The whole thing.

* I like to take chances, and that's the key to comedy -- dancing like an idiot but doing it with wild abandon.

* I said, `Now, wait a minute, so you're telling me you want this fish who lives in a fish tank in a dentist's office to be a fictitious character from an NBC sitcom?' I mean, it just doesn't make any sense to me. It's like, why would you want [[Mickey Mouse]] to be the lead in the `House of the Seven Gables' or something.'' 
** On being fired from &quot;Finding Nemo&quot; for refusing to do her Karen voice

* I couldn't pronounce my last name until I was, like, 11.

* Well, I was missing my earplugs. And the way that I found out why they're missing is because the little Elmo -- his five pounds -- came in to the bedroom and deposited something on -- he came in from outside, he put something on the rug and was going to eat it. And I walked over and it was an earplug that had already been in and back out -- and apparently so delicious … he wanted it again!
** On her new dog, Elmo.

* One day when I'm walking and I see -- at first I thought maybe he was resting -- but I saw a big dead seal on the beach, which was really sad. However, the thing that I thought was puzzling was there was a couple, a young guy and a girl on a beach towel not 15 feet from this big, dead mammal, and I look up and they're waving at me, like, 'Isn't it a pretty day?' And I'm like, 'There's a big dead seal right there.' They're putting on lotion. It was just bizarre. And, curtain. I just didn't want to be at the beach anymore.

* My off-white poodle. She doesn't consider herself to be gay, but I have my hunch.
** On the gayest thing in her home.

* So I light the fire with the lighter and then I'm like, 'Now, how am I going to light the candles?' And I'm racing through the house, tearing open drawers and throwing things out of closets, looking for matches … and I had just lit the fire with the thing!!! And then I was like, 'How did I light the fire?' So then l took the thing and lit the candles.

* I'm going to climb up this ladder, you understand, to this gate that's like this high and I'm going to pass two dogs and some bags and myself over the thing into a cab driver's arms. THAT's my plan!

*My best friend was at the grocery store standing behind these two guys in line, and one of the guys told the other that I was a man. He said, 'If you look closely, you can tell that she is,' and the other guy was like, 'Oh, my God! Now that you mention it, she is a man!'. So I'm denying that I'm a man.

*I should have my 'girl citizenship' revoked. I never get facials. I never get my nails done. I'm so busy.

*I like looser clothes, which always prompts my mom to say something classic like, 'You have such a darling figure - show it off more!'

*One tabloid had an article about how I was an irresistible sex- and man-magnet and how men flock to me. Of course, they were absolutely correct...

*I am terrified of mayonnaise. It was so bad when I was little that my friends would chase me around the house with a jar of mayonnaise and a knife.

*I've been going to the same grocery store for 13 years, and all of a sudden one day everybody was like, 'Oh, my God...'
** On sudden fame.

* You don't need someone else's approval to do what you want; just figure it out and do it, damn it!

*I'm really good at staying home all day in my pajamas because I had a [dad] who did that.

*Two days ago, I dreamt I married a 5-year-old boy. He treated me like a queen and was perfectly lovely. We took a driving trip for our honeymoon. Then it dawned on me: 'Oh my God! He doesn't have a driver's license! We could get arrested!'&quot;

*If I weren't an actress playing a socialite, I'd have lavender hair, wear crappy vintage clothes and have tattoos. I'd be some kind of crazy lawless rebel - an alternative underground riot girl.

*People see you one way and think, 'That's not her real thing, she's just putting that on now.' But that is! That's where my creativity really resides. Where it all springs. My characters are really bizarre. They're kind of dark and not really considered great people. It all comes from the same dark place, it's just filtered through comedy. 

* A lot of people come up to me and say, 'Oh God, I'm just like Karen, that's what they [tell me] at the office'. I'm like, 'You know what? The people in your office may not be giving you a compliment. You may be getting fired soon.'

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikinews|Award show producers try Emmy Idol}}
*{{imdb name|id=0005259|name=Megan Mullally}}
*[http://www.meganmullally.net Official Website]
*[http://www.meganmullally.co.uk Megan Mullally] UK Fansite - Includes wallpapers, interviews and multimedia

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&lt;!---EDIT BELOW ONLY---&gt;

== New report 2022-07-1, 05:15 ==

* {{Vandal|Wisiaszymia}}

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; {{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|false||{{#ifeq:{{{hide}}}|no||visibility: hidden;}}}}&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]] @[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt; GRP sock. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:15, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 05:48, 1 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|ferien}} I know. Could you also click the 'confirm' button on his user page? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:50, 1 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, no, as I have said before, it is not helpful to tag these socks and I do not think it is a helpful use of my time to confirm. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 14:50, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-1, 18:25 ==

* {{Vandal|LatanyaBolliger}}

Spam. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:28, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:52, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-1, 18:28 ==

* {{IPvandal|2600:8807:8004:B100:4CA6:8B74:E4BB:8B04}}

Edit warring. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:04, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-2, 04:14 ==

* {{Vandal|Odayreviews1}}

Spam/promotion. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:53, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:52, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-3, 05:19 ==

* {{IPvandal|2600:8807:8004:B100:4D66:2925:2930:1F26}}

Vandalism. Hasn't this IP been reported like a billion times already? [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:34, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-5, 05:10 ==

* {{IPvandal|72.213.207.137}}

Sockpuppet, likely open proxy or VPN. p [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:21, 5 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:17, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} I think you forgot to block. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:51, 7 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} wow. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:07, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-7, 21:53 ==

* {{IPvandal|200.171.53.102}}

Sockpuppet, likely VPN or open proxy. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:53, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:42, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-7, 21:54 ==

* {{IPvandal|189.68.182.119}}

Sockpuppet, likely VPN or open proxy. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:54, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:42, 8 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Thank you! {{smiley}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:43, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-7, 21:55 ==

* {{IPvandal|131.100.204.229}}

Sockpuppet, likely VPN or open proxy. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:55, 7 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:43, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-8, 02:29 ==

* {{IPvandal|2001:D08:1280:88F5::/64}}

Vandalism, sockpuppet of {{IPvandal|161.142.190.125}}. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:00, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:43, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-8, 03:00 ==

* {{IPvandal|161.142.190.125}}

Sockpuppeteering. Vandalism. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:00, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:43, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-8, 05:10 ==

* {{IPvandal|2001:F40:907:58E::/64}}

Sockpuppet of {{IPvandal|161.142.190.125}}. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:10, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:32, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-8, 12:18 ==

* {{IPvandal|93.141.247.65}}

Sockpuppet, likely VPN or open proxy. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:19, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}}, just one dumb edit. Let me know if there are more. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-8, 20:03 ==

* {{IPvandal|83.7.8.142}}

GRP sock. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:03, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{Done}} globally. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:47, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-10, 02:15 ==

* {{IPvandal|105.102.240.7}}

GRP sock. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:15, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:done}}{ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:22, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-10, 02:15 ==

* {{IPvandal|79.106.134.246}}

GRP sock. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:23, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:23, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-10, 03:33 ==

* {{Vandal|Fashion magazine NYC}}

Promotional username. Vandalism. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:36, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{Done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:23, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Per username policy shouldn't you block indefinitely but with account creation allowed? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:27, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
:::It seems generic to me. Is there an actual publication called ''Fashion Magazine NYC''? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:31, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|koavf}} [https://www.fashionmagazinenyc.com Yes]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:00, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-10, 06:27 ==

* {{IPvandal|181.31.227.135}}

GRP sock. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:20, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-10, 14:00 ==

* {{Vandal|ElasticBot}}

UAA/vio. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:07, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-10, 19:12 ==

* {{IPvandal|131.100.204.0/24}}

Continued vandalism after being warned several times. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:15, 10 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-11, 22:46 ==

* {{IPvandal|2804:5d80:8547:9210::/64}}

Vandalism. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:54, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-12, 10:19 ==

* {{Vandal|NelleAbraham657}}

Spam, promotion. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:16, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:38, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-14, 02:43 ==

* {{IPvandal|2603:8081:8108::/48}}

{{ping|koavf}} Long-term cross-wiki subtle vandalism. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:44, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}}, some obviously vandalism. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:54, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-14, 12:05 ==

* {{IPvandal|174.192.0.67}}

Sockpuppet of {{IPvandal|2601:182:4200:ee0:d041:3177:45d9:ebaa}}. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:06, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:57, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-15, 16:09 ==

* {{IPvandal|85.107.124.125}}

Sockpuppet. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 16:10, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:24, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-15, 19:20 ==

* {{Vandal|Khadima-e-Deoband}}

Please softblock the account, as it was supposedly created by accident. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:21, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, there is no need to block the account. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:35, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::I said softblock, so it isn't used for accidental sockpuppetry – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:44, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|Ilovemydoodle}}, that should only be done if requested. Unless it is specifically asked by the user, this is {{notdone}} --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:47, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-15, 19:47 ==

* {{IPvandal|2A02:6080:0:0:0:1:1081:A2D5}}

{{ping|Ferien|Koavf}} GRP sock. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:58, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:01, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-17, 22:10 ==

* {{Vandal|Dheguffgy}}

Sockpuppet of {{Vandal|Gagdhdkdksnbs}} (based on username, this report was before any edits were made). [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:11, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== &lt;s&gt;New report 2022-07-17, 22:11&lt;/s&gt; ==

&lt;s&gt;
* {{IPvandal|166.70.232.196}}

{{ping|Koavf|Kalki}} Sockpuppet.&lt;/s&gt; Edit: [[Special:Diff/3143769|confirmed]] [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:43, 17 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-18, 10:12 ==

* {{Vandal|Shekharkhichi}}

Promotion. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 11:00, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Warning seems sufficient. If it persists, let us know. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:23, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-20, 13:15 ==

* {{Vandal| NobleSwafford1}}

Spam, promotion. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:15, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:24, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== New report 2022-07-20, 18:23 ==

* {{IPvandal|192.76.8.85}}

{{ping|koavf}} [[w:WP:HOUNDING|WP:HOUNDING]], [[w:WP:PA|WP:PA]], [[w:WP:CIVILITY|WP:CIVILITY]], [[w:WP:BATTLE|WP:BATTLE]], clearly not here to build a compendium of quotations, long-term vandalism: &lt;sup&gt;[[w:simple:Special:Diff/5677654|[1]]]&lt;/sup&gt;. [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 18:40, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} See your talk. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:38, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== Spambot ==
* {{vandal|Windowcurtainshop}}
Spam [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 08:40, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:21, 29 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>dgp121v85vl99m7jifs3xma4xvgszxf</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Propaganda</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>4329</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149117</id>
      <parentid>3139313</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T21:46:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>198.200.64.130</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* G */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="31479" xml:space="preserve">[[File:W. H. Auden (1956 press photo).jpg|thumb|'''Propaganda is a monologue that is not looking for an answer, but an echo.'''
~ [[W. H. Auden]]]]

'''[[w:Propaganda|Propaganda]]''' is presentation of information in ways which are not [[w:Objectivity (journalism)|objective]] and aimed primarily at influencing an audience or furthering an agenda, often by presenting facts selectively to encourage particular perceptions, and to produce emotional rather than a rational responses to the circumstances. Propaganda is often associated with material prepared by national governments, but activist groups, companies, and religious organizations also produce propaganda.
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}
== A ==
[[File:Hannah_Arendt_1933.jpg|thumb|Manipulations of [[opinion]], insofar as they are [[inspired]] by well-defined interests, have limited goals; their [[effect]], however, if they happen to touch upon an issue of authentic concern, is no longer subject to their [[control]] and may easily produce [[consequences]] they never foresaw or intended. ~ [[Hannah Arendt]] ]]
* Manipulations of [[opinion]], insofar as they are [[inspired]] by well-defined interests, have limited goals; their [[effect]], however, if they happen to touch upon an issue of authentic concern, is no longer subject to their [[control]] and may easily produce [[consequences]] they never foresaw or intended.
** [[Hannah Arendt]], ''Eichmann in Jerusalem'' (1963), Postscript to the revised (1965) edition

* '''Propaganda is a monologue that is not looking for an answer, but an echo.'''
**[[W. H. Auden]],  ''A Short Defense of Poetry'' (October 1967)

==B==
[[File:&quot;Deliver Us from Evil. Buy War Bonds.&quot; - NARA - 513581.jpg|thumb|If we [[understand]] the [[mechanism]] and [[motives]] of the [[Groupthink|group mind]], is it not possible to [[control]] and regiment the masses according to our will without their knowing about it? The recent practice of propaganda has proved that it is possible, at least up to a certain point and within certain limits. ~ [[Edward&amp;nbsp;Bernays]]]]

* If we understand the mechanism and motives of the group mind, is it not possible to control and regiment the masses according to our will without their knowing about it? The recent practice of propaganda has proved that it is possible, at least up to a certain point and within certain limits.
** [[Edward Bernays]], ''Propaganda'' (1928)

* The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country.
** [[Edward Bernays]], ''[[w:Propaganda (book)|Propaganda]]'' (1928), p. 10

* We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. ... In almost every act of our daily lives, whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons ... who understand the [[mental processes]] and social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind.
** [[Edward Bernays]], ''[[w:Propaganda (book)|Propaganda]]'' (1928), p. 10

* No serious [[Sociology|sociologist]] any longer believes that the voice of the people expresses any divine or specially wise and lofty idea. The voice of the people expresses the mind of the people, and that mind is made up for it by the group leaders in whom it believes and by those persons who understand the manipulation of public opinion. It is composed of inherited prejudices and symbols and clichés and verbal formulas supplied to them by the leaders.
** [[Edward Bernays]], ''[[w:Propaganda (book)|Propaganda]]'' (1928)

* '''Propaganda is the executive arm of the invisible government.'''
** [[Edward Bernays]], ''[[w:Propaganda (book)|Propaganda]]'' (1928)

* The engineering of consent is the very essence of the democratic process, the freedom to persuade and suggest. 
** [[Edward Bernays]], &quot;[[w:The Engineering of Consent|The Engineering of Consent]]&quot;, ''Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science'' No. 250 (March 1947)

* [[Joseph Goebbels|Goebbels]] ... was using my book ''Crystallizing Public Opinion'' as a basis for his [[The Holocaust|destructive campaign against the Jews of Germany]]. This shocked me.
** [[Edward Bernays]], ''Biography of an Idea: Memoirs of Public Relations Counsel'' (1965)

==C==
[[File:Here are the the liberators-Italian WWII Poster - Statue of Liberty.jpg|thumb|The twentieth century has been characterized by three developments of great [[political]] importance: the [[growth]] of [[democracy]], the growth of [[corporate power]], and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy. ~ [[Alex Carey]]]]
[[File:Newspaper reader.jpg|thumb|One reason that propaganda often works better on the educated than on the uneducated is that educated people read more, so they receive more propaganda. Another is that they have jobs in management, media, and academia and therefore work in some capacity as agents of the propaganda system--and they believe what the system expects them to believe.  ~[[Noam Chomsky]]]]
[[File:Come unto me, ye opprest.jpg|thumb|right|It seeks to persuade readers about the moral virtues or failings of organizations, causes or people and presents commentary as a news product...[using]  ad hominem attacks, emotionally charged words and pictures, unsafe generalizations and other logical fallacies. ~ [https://www.psych.ox.ac.uk/team/john-gallacher John D Gallacher] ]]
* The twentieth century has been characterized by three developments of great political importance: the growth of [[democracy]], the growth of [[corporate power]], and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy. 
** [[Alex Carey]], ''Taking the Risk Out of Democracy: Corporate Propaganda versus Freedom and Liberty'' (1995), p. 18

* The success of business propaganda in persuading us, for so long, that we are free from propaganda is one of the most significant propaganda achievements of the twentieth century.
** [[Alex Carey]], ''Taking the Risk Out of Democracy: Corporate Propaganda versus Freedom and Liberty'' (1995), p. 21 

*One reason that propaganda often works better on the educated than on the uneducated is that educated people read more, so they receive more propaganda. Another is that they have jobs in [[management]], [[Mass media|media]], and [[academia]] and therefore work in some capacity as agents of the propaganda system--and they believe what the system expects them to believe. By and large, they're part of the privileged elite, and share the interests and perceptions of those in power.
**[[Noam Chomsky]] in  ''[http://www.zpub.com/un/chomsky.html Propaganda, American-style, ZPub]'' (1987)

*For those who stubbornly seek freedom around the world, there can be no more urgent task than to come to understand the mechanisms and practices of [[indoctrination]]. These are easy to perceive in the [[Totalitarianism|totalitarian]] societies, much less so in the propaganda system to which we are subjected and in which all too often we serve as unwilling or unwitting instruments.
**[[Noam Chomsky]] in  ''[http://www.zpub.com/un/chomsky.html Propaganda, American-style, ZPub]'' (1987) 

* [In] democratic societies … the state can't control behavior by force. It can to some extent, but it's much more limited in its capacity to control by force. Therefore, it has to control what you think. … One of the ways you control what people think is by creating the illusion that there's a debate going on, but making sure that that debate stays within very narrow margins. Namely, you have to make sure that both sides in the debate accept certain assumptions, and those assumptions turn out to be the propaganda system. As long as everyone accepts the propaganda system, then you can have a debate.
** [[Noam Chomsky]], [http://www.zmag.org/chomsky/interviews/dissent-excerpts.html Chronicles of Dissent; Propaganda in the US vs in the USSR (24 October 1986)]

* State propaganda, when supported by the educated classes and when no deviation is permitted from it, can have a big effect. It was a lesson learned by Hitler and many others, and it has  been pursued to this day.
** [[Noam Chomsky]] [https://archive.org/details/Media_Control_The_Spectacular_Achievements_of_Propaganda_Noam_Chomsky''Media Control: The Spectacular Achievements of Propaganda'' (1991)]

* Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
** [[Noam Chomsky]], Interview on WBAI, January 1992

* But perhaps we are wrong. Perhaps our [[memory]] deceives us. [[Joseph Goebbels|Dr. Goebbels]] and his [[Propaganda]] Machine have their own version of what happened twenty-five years ago. To hear them talk, you would suppose that it was [[Belgium]] that invaded [[Germany]]! There they were, these peaceful [[wikipedia:Prussia|Prussians]], gathering in their harvests, when this wicked, Belgium – set on by [[England]] and the [[Judaism|Jews]] – fell upon them; and would no doubt have taken [[Berlin]], if Corporal [[Adolf Hitler]] had not come to the rescue and turned the tables. Indeed, the tale goes further. After four years of war by land and sea, when [[wikipedia:German Empire|Germany]] was about to win an overwhelming victory, the Jews got at them again, this time from the rear. Armed with [[Woodrow Wilson|President Wilson]]’s [[wikipedia:Fourteen Points|Fourteen Points]] they stabbed, we are told, the German armies in the back, and induced them to ask for an armistice, and even persuaded them, in an unguarded moment, to sign a paper saying that it was they and not the Belgians who had been the ones to begin the War. Such is history as it is taught in topsy-turvydom. And now it is holiday again, and where are we now? Or, as you sometimes ask in the [[United States]] – where do we go from here?
** [[Winston Churchill]], [https://winstonchurchill.org/resources/speeches/1939-in-the-wings/a-hush-over-europe/ A Hush Over Europe], 8 August 1939

==D==
*The easiest way to inject a propaganda idea into most people’s minds is to let it go through the medium of an entertainment picture when they do not realize that they are being propagandized. 
**[[Elmer Davis|Elmer Holmes Davis]] as quoted in ''Hollywood Goes to War: How Politics, Profits and Propaganda Shaped World War II Movies'' by Clayton R. Koppes and Gregory D. Black  (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1990) p. 64.

==E==
[[File:Socialism Throttling the Country.jpg|thumb|Through the [[myth]] it creates, propaganda imposes a complete range of [[intuitive]] [[knowledge]], susceptible of only one interpretation, unique and one-sided, and precluding any divergence. ~ [[Jacques Ellul]] ]]
&lt;!-- [[File:Reichsparteitag 1935 mod.jpg|thumb|right|The most favorable [[moment]] to seize a man and [[influence]] him is when he is alone in the mass. It is at this point that propaganda can be most effective. ~ [[Jacques Ellul]] ]] --&gt; 

* Through the myth it [[creates]], propaganda [[imposes]] a complete range of [[intuitive]] [[knowledge]], susceptible of only one interpretation, unique and one-sided, and precluding any divergence. This myth becomes so [[powerful]] that it invades every arena of [[consciousness]], leaving no faculty or [[motivation]] intact. It stimulates in the [[individual]] a [[feeling]] of exclusiveness, and produces a [[biased]] [[attitude]].
** [[Jacques Ellul]], in ''Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes'' (1962), as translated by Konrad Kellen &amp; Jean Lerner (1965)

* Modern propaganda is based on scientific analyses of [[psychology]] and [[sociology]]. Step by step, the propagandist builds his techniques on the basis of his knowledge of man, his tendencies, his desires, his needs, his psychic mechanisms, his conditioning — and as much on [[social psychology]] as on depth psychology. He shapes his procedures on the basis of our knowledge of groups and their laws of formation and dissolution, of mass influences, and of environmental limitations. '''Without the scientific research of modern psychology and sociology there would be no propaganda, or rather we still would be in the primitive stages of propaganda that existed in the time of [[Pericles]] or [[Augustus]].'''
** [[Jacques Ellul]], in ''Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes'' (1962), as translated by Konrad Kellen &amp; Jean Lerner (1965), p. 4

* '''The most favorable moment to seize a man and influence him is when he is alone in the mass.''' It is at this point that propaganda can be most effective.
** [[Jacques Ellul]], in ''Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes'' (1962), as translated by Konrad Kellen &amp; Jean Lerner (1965), p. 9

* '''Propaganda does not aim to elevate man, but to make him ''serve''.'''
** [[Jacques Ellul]], in ''Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes'' (1962), as translated by Konrad Kellen &amp; Jean Lerner (1965), p. 38

* '''Hate, hunger, and pride make better levers of propaganda than do love or impartiality.'''
** [[Jacques Ellul]], in ''Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes'' (1962), as translated by Konrad Kellen &amp; Jean Lerner (1965), p. 38

* We can now advance a definition of propaganda — not an exhaustive definition, unique and exclusive of all others, but at least a partial one: '''''Propaganda is a set of methods employed by an organized group that wants to bring about the active or passive participation in its actions of a mass of individuals, psychologically unified through psychological manipulations and incorporated in an organization.'''''
** [[Jacques Ellul]], in ''Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes'' (1962), as translated by Konrad Kellen &amp; Jean Lerner (1965), p. 61

* There remains the problem of [[Joseph Goebbels|Goebbels']] reputation. He wore the title of Big Liar (bestowed by [[Anglo-Saxons|Anglo-Saxon]] propaganda) and yet he never stopped battling for propaganda to be as accurate as possible. He preferred being cynical and brutal to being caught in a lie. He used to say: &quot;Everybody must know what the situation is.&quot; He was always the first to announce disastrous events or difficult situations, without hiding anything. The result was a general belief between 1939 and 1942 that German communiqués not only were more concise, clearer and less cluttered, but were more truthful than Allied communiqués (American and neutral opinion) — and, furthermore, that the Germans published all the news two or three days before the Allies. All this is so true that pinning the title of Big Liar on Goebbels must be considered quite a propaganda success.
** [[Jacques Ellul]], &quot;The Characteristics of Propaganda&quot; in ''Readings in Propaganda and Persuasion: New and Classic Essays'' edited by Garth S. Jowett and Victoria O'Donnell, (SAGE, 2006) p. 48, note 47
 
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-1989-0821-502, Joseph Goebbels.jpg|thumb|All effective propaganda must be limited to a very few points and must harp on these in slogans until the last member of the public understands.  ~  [[Joseph Goebbels]] ]]

==G==

* We use the term “junk news” to include various forms of propaganda and ideologically extreme, hyperpartisan, or conspiratorial political news and information. Much of this content is deliberately produced false reporting. It seeks to persuade readers about the moral virtues or failings of organizations, causes or people and presents commentary as a news product...[using]  ad hominem attacks, emotionally charged words and pictures, unsafe generalizations and other logical fallacies.
** [https://www.psych.ox.ac.uk/team/john-gallacher John D Gallacher] et al. in [https://demtech.oii.ox.ac.uk/politicalbots/wp-content/uploads/sites/89/2017/10/Junk-News-on-Military-Affairs-and-National-Security-1.pdf &quot;Junk News on Military Affairs and National Security: Social Media Disinformation Campaigns Against US Military Personnel and Veterans]&quot; ''Oxford Democracy and Technology Programme'' (October, 2017)

*All effective propaganda must be limited to a very few points and must harp on these in slogans until the last member of the public understands.
** [[Joseph Goebbels]] quoted by   Zachary Jonathan Jacobson in Many are worried about the return of the '[[Big lie|Big Lie.]]' They're worried about the wrong thing . The Washington Post, 21 May 2018

*Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger. 
**[[Hermann Göring|Herman Goering]] at the Nuremberg trials

* [[w:Pope Gregory XV|Pope Gregory XV]] made a new start by setting up in 1622 the [[w:Sacred Congregation for the Propagation of the Faith|Sacred Congregation for the Propagation of the Faith]]... The new Congregation was supposed to supervise the missions and coordinate their activities. In due course, it came to be known as Propaganda from its [[Latin]] name — Propaganda di Fide. An otherwise innocent word was to acquire a bad odour in succeeding centuries because of its association with Popery. Though this department is still an integral part of the Pope's establishment at Rome, it has been renamed the Sacred Congregation for Evangelisation of Peoples. The shame which this set-up has brought upon the Pope by its close cooperation with Western imperialism for four-and-a-half centuries, is being sought to be hidden by a bit of linguistic surgery.
**About the history of the word 'propaganda'. [[Sita Ram Goel]] (1986). Papacy: Its doctrine and history. p. 71

==H==
[[File:German antisemitic and anti-Soviet poster.JPG|thumb|The propagandist's purpose is to make one set of people forget that certain other sets of people are human. ~ [[Aldous Huxley]] ]]

* Propaganda must be limited to a few simple themes and these must be represented again and again. Here, as in innumerable other cases, perseverance is the first and most important condition of success.
** '''Variant:''' No amount of genius spent on the creation of propaganda will lead to success if a fundamental principle is not forever kept in mind. Propaganda must confine itself to very few points, and repeat them endlessly. Here, as with so many things in this world, persistence is the first and foremost condition of success.
** [[Adolf Hitler]], in [[Wikipedia:Mein Kampf|''Mein Kampf'']] (1925) ; translated to English by James Murphy (February 1939)

* We tend today to exaggerate the effectiveness of [[persuasion]] as a means of inculcating opinion and shaping behavior. ...Actually the fabulous effects ascribed to propaganda have no greater foundation in fact than the fall of the walls of [[w:Battle of Jericho|Jericho]] ascribed to the blast of Joshua's trumpets.
** [[Eric Hoffer]], ''The True Believer'' (1951) Ch.14 Unifying Agents, &amp;#167;83

* [[Russians]] might not believe official media, but might also choose — perhaps subconsciously — not to acknowledge the extent to which they allow themselves to be deceived. (It bears mentioning that social media analysts of the 2016 US presidential election noted a similar phenomenon: Citizens can, and often do, choose to believe comfortable falsehoods, instead of admitting to truths that disrupt their desired way of seeing the world.) Looking at Russian television news after the takeover of Crimea in 2014, journalist Maria Lipman concluded that the more extreme and far-fetched the claims of various programs became, the more their audiences grew. “Russian viewers tuned into shows,” she and two colleagues argued in a 2018 essay, “in search of not truth, but emotional gratification.” Viewers wanted to believe wildly distorted media stories that affirmed “national pride and a sense of vindication.”
** Cynthia Hooper, in [https://thebulletin.org/2022/03/russias-information-war-painful-truths-vs-comfortable-lies/ &quot;Russia’s information war: painful truths vs. comfortable lies&quot; by Cynthia Hooper, in ''The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists'' (9 March 2022)]

* '''All war propaganda consists, in the last resort, in substituting diabolical abstractions for human beings. Similarly, those who defend war have invented a pleasant sounding vocabulary of abstractions in which to describe the process of mass murder.'''
** [[Aldous Huxley]], in &quot;Pacifism and Philosophy&quot; (1936)

* '''The propagandist's purpose is to make one set of people forget that certain other sets of people are human.'''
** [[Aldous Huxley]], ''The Olive Tree'' (1937). New York: Harper &amp; Brothers, p. 101

==L==

[[File:Adolf Hitler Berghof-1936.jpg|thumb|His ([[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s) primary rules were: never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a [[W:Lbig lie|big lie]] sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it. ~[[W:Walter C. Langer|Walter C. Langer]] ]]

*His ([[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s) primary rules were: '''never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a [[W:Lbig lie|big lie]] sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it.'''
**[[W:Walter C. Langer|Walter C. Langer]] in [https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/psychological-analysis-of-hitler-s-life-and-legend-2 ''Adolf Hitler: Psychological Analysis of Hitler’s Life &amp; Legend''],  [https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP78-02646R000600240001-5.pdf PDF at cia.gov], [[W:Office of Strategic Services|Office of Strategic Services]] (the intelligence agency of the United States during World War II), 1943  

* '''What each man does is based not on direct and certain knowledge, but on pictures made by himself or given to him'''...The very men who most loudly proclaim their “[[materialism]]” and their contempt for “ideologues,” the Marxian communists, place their entire hope on what? On the formation by propaganda of a class-conscious group. But what is propaganda, if not the effort to alter the picture to which men respond, to substitute one social pattern for another?
** [[Walter Lippmann]] ''Public Opinion'' (1922)

* '''Without some form of [[censorship]], propaganda in the strict sense of the word is impossible. In order to conduct a propaganda there must be some barrier between the public and the event. Access to the real environment must be limited,''' before anyone can create a pseudo-environment that he thinks wise or desirable. ...It is often very illuminating, therefore, to''' ask yourself how you got at the facts on which you base your opinion. Who actually saw, heard, felt, counted, named the thing, about which you have an opinion? Was it the man who told you, or the man who told him, or someone still further removed? And how much was he permitted to see? '''
** [[Walter Lippmann]] ''Public Opinion'' (1922)

* '''[[Photographs]] have the kind of authority over imagination to-day, which the printed word had yesterday, and the spoken word before that. They seem utterly real. '''They come, we imagine, directly to us without human meddling, and they are the most effortless food for the mind conceivable.
** [[Walter Lippmann]] ''Public Opinion'' (1922)

==M==
[[File:STOP THIS MONSTER THAT STOPS AT NOTHING. PRODUCE TO THE LIMIT. THIS IS YOUR WAR. - NARA - 513557.jpg|thumb| The educator aims at a slow process of development; the propagandist, at quick results. The educator tries to tell people how to think; the propagandist, what to think. ~ [[Everett Dean Martin]] ]]

* Propaganda is defined as the manipulation of the public to the end of securing some specific action.
** [[Everett Dean Martin]], ''Are We Victims of Propaganda, Our Invisible Masters: A Debate with [[Edward Bernays]]'' (1929)

* Its aim is to “put something over” on people, with or without their knowledge or consent… neither truth nor the basic values of civilization get a fair hearing.
** [[Everett Dean Martin]], ''Are We Victims of Propaganda, Our Invisible Masters: A Debate with [[Edward Bernays]]'' (1929)

* Prejudice and the well-known weaknesses of human nature are to be exploited and thus encouraged.
** [[Everett Dean Martin]], ''Are We Victims of Propaganda, Our Invisible Masters: A Debate with [[Edward Bernays]]'' (1929)

* So long as the public may be manipulated by misrepresentation and by appeal to ignorance and prejudice, it is the public’s own fault if the “knowing ones” make use of questionable methods.
** [[Everett Dean Martin]], ''Are We Victims of Propaganda, Our Invisible Masters: A Debate with [[Edward Bernays]]'' (1929)

* The evil effect of these attempts to manipulate the multitude by pampering its weaknesses — in return for material and other advantages to persons and for ends not disclosed — is clearly seen in various aspects of our common life. In politics such effect have long been deplorable.
** [[Everett Dean Martin]], ''Are We Victims of Propaganda, Our Invisible Masters: A Debate with [[Edward Bernays]]'' (1929)

* '''It is the trivial, the irrelevant, the sensational, the appeal to obsolete bigotry which naturally give it greatest publicity.''' In such publicity it becomes a mere vulgar caricature of itself.
** [[Everett Dean Martin]], ''Are We Victims of Propaganda, Our Invisible Masters: A Debate with [[Edward Bernays]]'' (1929)

* One of the serious results of propaganda is that it has caused the public to think that education and propaganda are the same thing, and thus to make an ignorant multitude believe it is being educated when it is only being manipulated. '''Education aims at independence of judgement. Propaganda offers ready-made opinions for the unthinking herd.'''
** [[Everett Dean Martin]], ''Are We Victims of Propaganda, Our Invisible Masters: A Debate with [[Edward Bernays]]'' (1929)

* '''The educator aims at a slow process of development; the propagandist, at quick results. The educator tries to tell people how to think; the propagandist, what to think.''' The educator strives to develop individual responsibility; the propagandist, mass effects. The educator wants thinking; the propagandist, action. The educator fails unless he achieves an open mind; the propagandist, unless he achieves a closed mind.
** [[Everett Dean Martin]], ''Are We Victims of Propaganda, Our Invisible Masters: A Debate with [[Edward Bernays]]'' (1929)

===N===

* The class which has the means of material production at its disposal, has control at the same time over the means of mental production.
** [[Karl Marx]], ''[[w:The German Ideology|The German Ideology]]'' (1846), p. 64

 [[File:1984.png|thumb|'''Oceania was at war with Eurasia: therefore Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia. The enemy of the moment always represented absolute [[evil]], and it followed that any past or future agreement with him was impossible.''' If the Party could thrust its hand into the past and say of this or that event, it never happened... And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed... then the lie passed into history and became [[truth]]. ~ [[George Orwell]], [[Nineteen Eighty-Four|''1984'']]]]
[[File:Orwell_McBeath.jpg|thumb|In a way, the world-view of the Party imposed itself most successfully on people incapable of understanding it. They could be made to accept the most flagrant violations of [[reality]], because they never fully grasped the enormity of what was demanded of them, and were not sufficiently interested in public events to notice what was happening. ~ [[George Orwell]]]]

===O===
 
*'''Oceania was at war with Eurasia: therefore Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia. The enemy of the moment always represented absolute evil, and it followed that any past or future agreement with him was impossible...''' 
*If the Party could thrust its hand into the past and say of this or that event, it never happened — that, surely, was more terrifying than mere torture and death? And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed -if all records told the same tale — then the lie passed into history and became truth. 
*Who controls the past,' ran the Party slogan, 'controls the future: who controls the present controls the past. And yet the past, though of its nature alterable, never had been altered. Whatever was true now was true from everlasting to everlasting. It was quite simple. All that was needed was an unending series of victories over your own memory. 'Reality control', they called it: in Newspeak, 'doublethink'... 
** [[George Orwell]], ''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four]]'' (1949), Chapter III.

==S==

* Propaganda is not French, it is not civilized to want other people to believe what you believe because the essence of being civilised is to possess yourself as you are, and if you possess yourself as you are you of course cannot possess any one else, it is not your business.
** [[Gertrude Stein]], in ''Paris France'' (1940), p. 56

[[File:Malcolm X by Latuff2.jpg|thumb|right|'''If you aren't careful, the newspapers will have you [[hating]] the [[people]] who are being oppressed''' and [[loving]] the people who are doing the oppressing.  ~[[Malcolm X]] ]]

===X===
*The press is so powerful in its image-making role, it can make the criminal look like he's a the victim and make the victim look like he's the criminal. This is the press, an irresponsible press. It will make the criminal look like he's the victim and make the victim look like he's the criminal.  '''If you aren't careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.'''  &lt;br /&gt; If you aren't careful, because I've seen some of you caught in that bag, you run away hating yourself and loving the man — while you're catching hell from the man. You let the man maneuver you into thinking that it's wrong to fight him when he's fighting you. He's fighting you in the morning, fighting you in the noon, fighting you at night and fighting you all in between, and you still think it's wrong to fight him back. Why? The press. The newspapers make you look wrong.
**[[Malcolm X]], Speech at the Audubon Ballroom in Harlem (13 December 1964), later published in ''Malcolm X Speaks: Selected Speeches and Statements'' (1965), edited by George Breitman, p. 93

== See also ==
* [[Advertising]]
* [[Big lie]]
* [[Fake news]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|propaganda}}
{{Social and political philosophy}}

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    <title>Gottfried Leibniz</title>
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        <username>Gianluca Gorni</username>
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      <comment>The &quot;calculemus&quot; quote is on page 200 of the volume. On page 125 there is a &quot;calculemus&quot; too, but in a different context</comment>
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      <text bytes="48004" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Gottfried_Wilhelm_von_Leibniz.jpg|thumb|right|TO LOVE is to find pleasure in the happiness of others.]]
'''[[w:Gottfried Leibniz|Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz]]''' ([[1 July]] [[1646]] {[[21 June]] [[w:Old Style and New Style dates|O.S.]]} – [[14 November]] [[1716]])  was a German philosopher and mathematician.

==Quotes==
[[File:Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz c1700.jpg|thumb|right|JUSTICE is charity in accordance with wisdom.]]
[[File:Fotothek df tg 0005486 Mathematik ^ Kombinatorik.jpg|thumb|right|Everything that is possible demands to exist.]]
[[File:Double-alaskan-rainbow.jpg|thumb|right|I am convinced that the unwritten knowledge scattered among men of different callings surpasses in quantity and in importance anything we find in books, and that the greater part of our wealth has yet to be recorded.]]
[[File:Fotothek df roe-neg 0000772 003 Leibnizdenkmal.jpg|thumb|right|Although the whole of this life were said to be nothing but a dream and the physical world nothing but a phantasm, I should call this dream or phantasm real enough, if, using reason well, we were never deceived by it.]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-1989-0809-035, Leipzig, Leibniz-Denkmal.jpg|thumb|right|We never have a full demonstration, although there is always an underlying reason for the truth, even if it is only perfectly understood by God, who alone penetrated the infinite series in one stroke of the mind.]]

*''quando orientur controversiae, non magis disputatione opus erit inter duos philosophos, quam inter duos computistas. Sufficiet enim calamos in manus sumere sedereque ad abacos, et sibi mutuo (accito si placet amico) dicere'': '''''calculemus'''''
**''De arte characteristica ad perficiendas scientias ratione nitentes'' in  C. I. Gerhardt (ed.), ''Die philosophischen Schriften von Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz'' (7 vols. 1875–1890) VII 200. 
**&quot;[...] if controversies were to arise, there would be no more need of disputation between two philosophers than between two calculators. For it would suffice for them to take their pencils in their hands and to sit down at the abacus, and say to each other (and if they so wish also to a friend called to help): Let us calculate.&quot;
**The famous ''calculemus'' of Leibniz appears in several places of his writing; this is the most frequently quoted; variants are found in the ''Preface'' to his ''New Essays on Human Understanding'', and in ''Dissertatio de Arte Combinatoria'' (1666). See R. Chrisley, ''Artificial Intelligence'' (2000), [https://books.google.ch/books?id=dLQ3bDy2tgYC&amp;pg=PA14#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 14]; H. Busche, ''Leibniz' Weg ins perspektivische Universum'' (1997), [https://books.google.ch/books?id=xAI4Wtp0GBoC&amp;pg=PA134&amp;lpg=PA134 p. 134].

*'''''Theologus:''''' Amare ''autem?''&lt;br&gt;'''''Philosophus:''''' ''Felicitate alterius'' delectari.
**'''Theologian:''' But what is ''to love''?&lt;br&gt;'''Philosopher:''' ''To be delighted'' by the happiness of another.
** [[s:la:Confessio_philosophi|''Confessio philosophi'']] (1673)

* ''Nam filum labyrintho de compositione continui deque maximo et minimo ac indesignabili at que infinito non nisi geometria praebere potest, ad metaphysicam vero solidam nemo veniet, nisi qui illac transiverit.''
** '''Only geometry can hand us the thread [which will lead us through] the labyrinth of the continuum’s composition, the maximum and the minimum, the infinitesimal and the infinite; and no one will arrive at a truly solid metaphysic except he who has passed through this [labyrinth].'''
** ''Dissertatio Exoterica De Statu Praesenti et Incrementis Novissimis Deque Usu Geometriae &lt;ref&gt;Leibniz, Leibnizens Mathematische Schriften, Herausgegeben Von C.I. Gerhardt. Bd. 1-7. 1850-1863. Halle. The quotation is found in vol. 7. on page 326 in ”Dissertatio Exoterica De Statu Praesenti et Incrementis Novissimis Deque Usu Geometriae”. [https://archive.org/stream/leibnizensmathe12leibgoog Link]&lt;/ref&gt; (Spring 1676) &lt;ref&gt;Geometry and Monadology: Leibniz's Analysis Situs and Philosophy of Space
 by Vincenzo de Risi. Page 123. [https://books.google.no/books?id=2ptGkzsKyOQC&amp;lpg=PA123&amp;ots=qz2aKxAYtp&amp;dq=Dissertatio%20Exoterica%20De%20Statu%20Praesenti%20et%20Incrementis%20Novissimis%20Deque%20Usu%20Geometriae%E2%80%9D&amp;hl=no&amp;pg=PA123#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Link]&lt;/ref&gt;''

* '''To love is to be delighted by the happiness of someone, or to experience pleasure upon the happiness of another. I define this as true love.'''
** ''The Elements of True Piety'' (c. 1677), [http://books.google.com/books?id=oFoCY3xJ8nkC&amp;dq ''The Shorter Leibniz Texts'' (2006)] edited by Lloyd H. Strickland, p. 189

* ''Omne possibile exigit existere.''
** '''Everything that is possible demands to exist.'''
** ''De veritatibus primis'' (1686)

* ''Chaque substance est comme un monde à part, indépendant de toute autre chose, hors de Dieu...''
** '''Every substance is as a world apart, independent of everything else except God.'''
** ''[[s:fr:Discours_de_m%C3%A9taphysique|Discours de métaphysique]]'' (1686)

* As regards the objection that possibles are independent of the decrees of God I grant it of actual decrees (although the Cartesians do not at all agree to this), but I maintain that the possible individual concepts involve certain possible free decrees; for example, if this world was only possible, the individual concept of a particular body in this world would involve certain movements as possible, it would also involve the laws of motion, which are the free decrees of God; but these, also, only as possibilities. Because, '''as there are an infinity of possible worlds, there are also an infinity of laws, certain ones appropriate to one; others, to another, and each possible individual of any world involves in its concept the laws of its world.'''
** [[Gottfried Leibniz]] (May, 1686) as quoted in George R. Montgomery, Tr., &quot;Correspondence between Leibniz and [[w:Antoine Arnauld|Arnauld]],&quot; ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=5-IeAQAAMAAJ Leibniz: Discourse on metaphysics; correspondence with Arnauld, and Monadology]'' (1916) VIII, p. 108

* '''TO LOVE ''is to find pleasure in the happiness of others.''''' Thus ''the habit of loving someone is nothing other than'' BENEVOLENCE by which we want the good of others, not for the profit that we gain from it, but because it is agreeable to us in itself. &lt;br&gt; CHARITY ''is a general benevolence''. And JUSTICE ''is charity in accordance with wisdom''. … so that one does not do harm to someone without necessity, and that one does as much good as one can, but especially where it is best employed.
** &quot;A Dialogue&quot; (after 1695), as quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=oFoCY3xJ8nkC&amp;dq ''The Shorter Leibniz Texts'' (2006)] edited by Lloyd H. Strickland, p. 170

* ''Pour ce qui est des connaissances non-écrites qui se trouvent dispersées parmi les hommes de différents professions, je suis persuadé qu’ils passent de beaucoup tant à l'égard de la multitude que de l'importance, tout ce qui se trouve marqué dans les livres, et que la meilleure partie de notre trésor n'est pas encore enregistrée.''
** '''I am convinced that the unwritten knowledge scattered among men of different callings surpasses in quantity and in importance anything we find in books, and that the greater part of our wealth has yet to be recorded.'''
** ''[[s:fr:Discours touchant la méthode de la certitude et l’art d’inventer|Discours touchant la méthode de la certitude et de l'art d'inventer pour finir les disputes et pour faire en peu de temps de grands progrès]]'' (1688–1690)

* ''Il y a jusque dans les exercices des enfants ce qui pourrait arrêter le plus grand Mathématicien.''
** Even in the games of children there are things to interest the greatest mathematician.
** ''[[s:fr:Discours touchant la méthode de la certitude et l’art d’inventer|Discours touchant la méthode de la certitude et de l'art d'inventer pour finir les disputes et pour faire en peu de temps de grands progrès]]'' (1688–1690)

* When [[w:Andrew Fountaine (architect)|Sir A. Fountaine]] was at Berlin with Leibnitz in 1701, and at supper with the [[w:Sophia Charlotte of Hanover|Queen of Prussia]], she asked Leibnitz his opinion of Sir Isaac Newton. Leibnitz said that '''taking mathematicians from the beginning of the world to the time when [[Isaac Newton|Sir Isaac]] lived, what he had done was much the better half'''; and added that he had consulted all the learned in Europe upon some difficult points without having any satisfaction, and that when he applied to Sir Isaac, he wrote him in answer by the first post, to do so and so, and then he would find it. 
** Anecdote (1701) from [[w:John Conduitt|John Conduitt's]] manuscript, as quoted by [[David Brewster|Sir David Brewster]], ''Memoirs of the Life, Writings, and Discoveries of Sir Isaac Newton'' (1855) [https://books.google.com/books?id=Bp8RAAAAYAAJ Vol.2]

* ''La nature ne fait jamais des sauts.''
** Nature does not make leaps.
** [[s:fr:Nouveaux Essais sur l’entendement humain/Avant-propos|Avant-propos]] to ''[[s:fr:Nouveaux Essais sur l’entendement humain|Nouveaux essais sur l'entendement humain]]'' (1704).
** A later, more famous Latin version — &quot;''[[w:Natura non facit saltus|Natura non facit saltus]]''&quot; — is from the ''Philosophia Botanica'' (1751) by [[w:Carolus Linnaeus|Linnaeus]].
** A variant translation is &quot;''natura non saltum facit''&quot; (literally, &quot;Nature does not make a jump&quot;) ({{cite book |title=Ökonomische Theorie und christlicher Glaube |first1=Andrew |last1=Britton |first2=Peter H. |last2=Sedgwick |first3=Burghard |last3=Bock |publisher=LIT Verlag Münster |year=2008 |isbn=978-3-8258-0162-5 |page=289 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=goW6JsEUz4EC}} [https://books.google.com/books?id=goW6JsEUz4EC&amp;pg=PA289 Extract of page 289]).

*[The consequences of] beliefs that go against the providence of a perfectly good, wise, and just God, or against that immortality of souls which lays them open to the operations of justice.... I even find that somewhat similar opinions, by stealing gradually into the minds of men of high station who rule the rest and on whom affairs depend, and by slithering into fashionable books, are inclining everything toward the universal revolution with which Europe is threatened, and are completing the destruction of what still remains in the world of the generous Greeks and Romans who placed love of country and of the public good, and the welfare of future generations before fortune and even before life.
** ''Nouveaux essais sur l'entendement humain'' (1704)

*I have seen something of the project of M. de St. Pierre, for maintaining a perpetual peace in Europe. I am reminded of a device in a cemetery, with the words: ''Pax perpetua''; for the dead do not fight any longer: but the living are of another humor; and the most powerful do not respect tribunals at all.
** ''Letter 11 to Grimarest: Passages Concerning the Abbe de St. Pierre's 'Project for Perpetual Peace''' (June 1712). Taken from ''Leibniz: Political Writings'' (2nd Edition, 1988), Edited by Patrick Riley.

* '''My philosophical views approach somewhat closely those of the late [[Anne Conway|Countess of Conway]]''', and hold a middle position between [[Plato]] and [[Democritus]], because I hold that all things take place mechanically as Democritus and [[Descartes]] contend against the views of [[w:Henry More|Henry More]] and his followers, and hold too, nevertheless, that '''everything takes place according to a living principle and according to final causes — all things are full of life and consciousness, contrary to the views of the Atomists.'''
**Letter to [[Thomas Burnet]] (1697), as quoted in ''Platonism, Aristotelianism and Cabalism in the Philosophy of Leibniz'' (1938) by Joseph Politella, p. 18

* ''Il y a deux labyrinthes fameux où notre raison s’égare bien souvent : l'un regarde la grande question du libre et du nécessaire, surtout dans la production et dans l'origine du mal ; l'autre consiste dans la discussion de la continuité et des indivisibles qui en paraissent les éléments, et où doit entrer la considération de l'infini.''
** There are two famous labyrinths where our reason very often goes astray. One concerns the great question of the free and the necessary, above all in the production and the origin of Evil. The other consists in the discussion of continuity, and of the indivisibles which appear to be the elements thereof, and where the consideration of the infinite must enter in.
** [[s:fr:Essais de Théodicée/Préface|''Théodicée'' (1710)ː Préface]]

* ''Musica est exercitium arithmeticae occultum nescientis se numerare animi.''
** '''Music is a hidden arithmetic exercise of the soul, which does not know that it is counting.'''
** Letter to [[w:Christian Goldbach|Christian Goldbach]], April 17, 1712.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]] paraphrased this quotation in the first book of ''[[w:The World as Will and Representation|Die Welt als Wille und Vorstellung]]'': ''Musica est exercitium metaphysices occultum nescientis se philosophari animi.'' (Music is a hidden metaphysical exercise of the soul, which does not know that it is philosophizing.)

* ''J'ay marqué plus d'une fois, que je tenois l'espace pour quelque chose de purement relatif, comme le temps; pour un ordre des coëxistences, comme le temps est un ordre des successions.''
** I have said more than once, that I hold space to be something purely relative, as time; an order of coexistences, as time is an order of successions.
** [http://www.physics.ubc.ca/~berciu/PHILIP/TEACHING/PHYS340/EXTRA/FILES/Leibniz-ClarkeA.pdf Third letter] to [[w:Samuel Clarke|Samuel Clarke]], February 25, 1716

*''cur aliquid potius extiterit quam nihil''
**Why is there anything at all rather than nothing whatsoever?
** ''De rerum originatione radicali'' (1697); reprinted in [http://books.google.gr/books?id=Huv3Q0IimL0C&amp;vq= ''God. Guil. Leibnitii Opera philosophica quae exstant latina, gallica, germanica omnia''ː 1] (1840), p. 148
** Cf. [[Martin Heidegger]], ''What is Metaphysics?'' (1929)ː &quot;''Warum ist überhaupt Seiendes und nicht vielmehr Nichts? Das ist die Frage.''&quot;

* '''Although the whole of this life were said to be nothing but a dream and the physical world nothing but a phantasm, I should call this dream or phantasm real enough, if, using reason well, we were never deceived by it.'''
** As quoted in ''The World of Mathematics'' (1956) by J. R. Newman, p. 1832

{{anchor|The best of all possible worlds}}
* ''De quelque manière que Dieu aurait créé le monde, il aurait toujours été régulier et dans un certain ordre général. Mais Dieu a choisi celui qui est le plus parfait, c’est-à-dire celui qui est en même temps le plus simple en hypothèses et le plus riche en phénomènes...''
** In whatever manner God created the world, it would always have been regular and in a certain general order. God, however, has chosen the most perfect, that is to say, the one which is at the same time the simplest in hypothesis and the richest in phenomena.
*** ''[[s:fr:Discours_de_m%C3%A9taphysique|Discours de métaphysique]]'' (1686); Leibniz famously tried to show that ours is the [[w:Best of all possible worlds|best of all possible worlds]] (see also ''Monadologie'' (53 &amp; 54) below and compare [[Maimonides]] from [[Maimonides#Guide_for_the_Perplexed_.28c._1190.29|''Guide for the Perplexed'' (c. 1190)]], &quot;Whatever is formed of matter receives the most perfect form possible in that species of matter.&quot;) These attempts were mercilessly parodied in [[Voltaire]]'s ''[[Candide]]''. Quotations from Voltaire's novel are often mistakenly attributed to Leibniz. Other statements by Leibniz upon the subject include these:
**  ''S'il n'y avait pas le meilleur (optimum) parmi tous les mondes possibles, Dieu n'en aurait produit aucun.''
*** If there were no best among all possible worlds, God would not have created one.
**** [[s:fr:Essais de Théodicée/Première_partie|''Théodicée'' (1710)ː I. 8]]
** '''I do not believe that a world without evil, preferable in order to ours, is possible; otherwise it would have been preferred.''' It is necessary to believe that the mixture of evil has produced the greatest possible good: otherwise the evil would not have been permitted. &lt;br&gt; The combination of all the tendencies to the good has produced the best; but as there are goods that are incompatible together, this combination and this result can introduce the destruction of some good, and as a result some evil.
*** Letter to Bourguet (late 1712)], as translated in [http://books.google.com/books?id=oFoCY3xJ8nkC&amp;dq ''The Shorter Leibniz Texts'' (2006)] edited by Lloyd H. Strickland, p. 208

* ''Ce miracle de l'Analyse, prodige du monde des idées, objet presque amphibie entre l'Être et le Non-être, que nous appelons racine imaginaire.''
** This miracle of analysis, this marvel of the world of ideas, an almost amphibian object between Being and Non-being that we call the imaginary number.
** Quoted in ''Singularités : individus et relations dans le système de Leibniz'' (2003) by Christiane Frémont

* '''We never have a full demonstration, although there is always an underlying reason for the truth, even if it is only perfectly understood by God, who alone penetrated the infinite series in one stroke of the mind.'''
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=oFoCY3xJ8nkC&amp;dq ''The Shorter Leibniz Texts'' (2006)] edited by Lloyd H. Strickland, p. 111

* ''The love of God consists in an ardent desire to procure the general welfare, and reason teaches me that there is nothing which contributes more to the general welfare of mankind than the perfection of reason.'' 
** Closing sentence of the ''Preface to the general science'' (1677) (in P. Wiener (ed.), ''Leibniz Selections'', Macmilland Press Ltd, 1951).

=== ''[[w:Monadology|The Monadology]]'' (1714) ===
[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|right|It is in a simple substance, and not in a compound or in a machine, that perception must be sought for.]]
[[File:Brocken Spectre at Peak Korzhenevskaya.jpg|thumb|right|As every present state of a simple substance is naturally a consequence of its preceding state, so its present is pregnant with its future.]]
[[File:Hotu.png|thumb|right|There are two kinds of truths: those of reasoning and those of fact. The truths of reasoning are necessary and their opposite is impossible; the truths of fact are contingent and their opposites are possible.]]

* ''On est obligé d’ailleurs de confesser que la Perception et ce qui en dépend, est inexplicable par des raisons mécaniques, c’est-à-dire par les figures et par les mouvements. Et feignant qu'il y ait une Machine, dont la structure fasse penser, sentir, avoir perception ; on pourra la concevoir agrandie en conservant les mêmes proportions, en sorte qu’on y puisse entrer, comme dans un moulin. Et cela posé, on ne trouvera en la visitant au dedans, que des pièces, qui poussent les unes les autres, et jamais de quoi expliquer une perception. Ainsi c'est dans la substance simple, et non dans le composé, ou dans la machine qu’il la faut chercher.''
** '''Moreover, it must be confessed that perception and that which depends upon it are inexplicable on mechanical grounds, that is to say, by means of figures and motions.''' And supposing there were a machine, so constructed as to think, feel, and have perception, it might be conceived as increased in size, while keeping the same proportions, so that one might go into it as into a mill. That being so, we should, on examining its interior, find only parts which work one upon another, and never anything by which to explain a perception. '''Thus it is in a simple substance, and not in a compound or in a machine, that perception must be sought for.'''
** ''[[s:fr:Monadologie|La monadologie]]'' (17).

* ''Et comme tout présent état d'une substance simple est naturellement une suite de son état précédent, tellement, que le présent y est gros de l'avenir.''
** '''And as every present state of a simple substance is naturally a consequence of its preceding state, so its present is pregnant with its future.'''
** ''[[s:fr:Monadologie|La monadologie]]'' (22).

* ''Il y a aussi deux sortes de vérités, celles de Raisonnement et celle de Fait. Les vérités de Raisonnement sont nécessaires et leur opposé est impossible, et celles de Fait sont contingentes et leur opposé est possible.''
** '''There are two kinds of truths: those of reasoning and those of fact. The truths of reasoning are necessary and their opposite is impossible; the truths of fact are contingent and their opposites are possible.'''
** ''[[s:fr:/Monadologie|La monadologie]]'' (33).

* ''Or, comme il y a une infinité d'univers possibles dans les idées de Dieu, et qu'il n'en peut exister qu'un seul, il faut qu'il y ait une raison suffisante du choix de Dieu qui le détermine à l'un plutôt qu'à l'autre. Et cette raison ne peut se trouver que dans la convenance, dans les degrés de perfection que ces mondes contiennent, chaque possible ayant droit de prétendre à l'existence à mesure de la perfection qu'il enveloppe.''
** Now, as there is an infinity of possible universes in the Ideas of God, and as only one of them can exist, there must be a sufficient reason for God's choice, which determines him toward one rather than another. And this reason can be found only in the fitness, or the degrees of perfection, that these worlds contain, since each possible thing has the right to claim existence in proportion to the perfection it involves.
** ''[[s:fr:/Monadologie|La monadologie]]'' (53 &amp; 54).

* ''Ainsi on peut dire que non seulement l'âme, miroir d'un univers indestructible, est indestructible, mais encore l'animal même, quoique sa machine périsse souvent en partie, et quitte ou prenne des dépouilles organiques.''
** Thus it may be said that not only the soul, the mirror of an indestructible universe, is indestructible, but also the animal itself, though its mechanism may often perish in part and take off or put on an organic slough.
** ''[[s:fr:/Monadologie|La monadologie]]'' (77).
** Sometimes paraphrased as: The soul is the mirror of an indestructible universe.

*Thus there is nothing waste, nothing dead in the universe; no chaos, no confusions, save in appearence. We might compare this to the appearence of a pond in the distance, where we can see the confused movement and swarming of the fish, without distinguishing the fish themselves.
:Thus we are that each living body has a dominante entelechy, which in case of an animal is the [[soul]], but the members of this living body are full of other living things, plants and animals, of which each has in turn ita dominant entelechy or soul. 
**''Monadology'', $$ 69-70.

== Quotes about Leibniz ==
* Gottfried Leibniz is famous... for his slogan ''Calculemus'', which means &quot;Let us calculate.&quot; He envisioned a formal language to reduce reasoning to calculation, and he said that reasonable men, faced with a difficult question of philosophy or policy, would express the question in a precise language and use rules of calculation to carry out precise reasoning. This is the first reduction of reasoning to calculation ever envisioned. ...he actually designed and built a working calculating machine, the ''Stepped Reckoner'' ...inspired by the somewhat earlier work of [[Blaise Pascal|Pascal]], who built a machine that could add and subtract. Leibniz's machine could add, subtract, divide, and multiply, and was apparently the first machine with all four arithmetic capabilities.
** [[Michael J. Beeson]], &quot;The Mechanization of Mathematics,&quot; in ''Alan Turing: Life and Legacy of a Great Thinker'' (2004)

* [T]he program which [[Immanuel Kant]] proposed back in the 1760s... was this: our knowledge of the outside world depends on our modes of perception... Unfortunately, a great revolution took place in or about the year 1768, when he read a paper by [[Leonhard Euler|Euler]] which intended to show that [[space]] was indeed absolute as [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] had suggested and not relative as Leibnitz suggested. (...in the eighteenth century the question of whether Newton's... or Leibnitz's view of the world was right profoundly affected all philosophy.) After reading Euler's argument... Kant... for the first time proposed that... we must be conscious of [absolute space] [[A priori and a posteriori|a priori]]. ...Kant died in 1804, long before new ideas about space... had been published... And since one of the things that happened in [our] lifetime has been the substitution of... a Leibnitz universe, the universe of [[General relativity|relativity]], for Newton's universe... we should think that out again.&lt;!--p.6--&gt;
** [[Jacob Bronowski]], ''The Origins of Knowledge and Imagination'' (1978)

* In the interval of 200 years between [[Johannes Kepler|Kepler]] and [[Carl Friedrich Gauss|Gauss]] there arose no great mathematician in Germany excepting Leibniz.&lt;!--p.158--&gt;
** [[Florian Cajori]], ''[[A History of Mathematics]]'' (1893).

* Leibniz was certainly not alone among great men in presenting in his early work almost all the important mathematical ideas contained in his mature work.
** J. M. Child, Preface, ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=ew1HafO1FSsC The Early Mathematical Manuscripts of Leibniz]'' (1920)

* '''The main ideas of his philosophy are to be attributed to his mathematical work, and not ''vice versa''.'''
** J. M. Child, Preface, ''The Early Mathematical Manuscripts of Leibniz'' (1920)

* '''The manuscripts of Leibniz... show''', perhaps more clearly than his published work, '''the great importance which Leibniz attached to suitable notation in mathematics and... in logic generally.''' '''He was perhaps the earliest to realize fully and correctly the important influence of a calculus''' [some mindless method of calculation] '''on discovery.''' ...There is a frivolous objection... to the effect that such economy of thought is an attempt to substitute unthinking mechanism for living thought. This contention fails... through the simple fact that this economy is only used in certain circumstances. In no science do we try to make subject to a mechanical calculus any trains of reasoning except such that have not been the object of careful thought many times previously. ...this reasoning has been universally recognized as valid, and we do not wish to waste energy of thought in repeating it when so much remains to be discovered by means of this energy. '''Since the time of Leibniz, this truth has been recognized''', explicitly or implicitly, '''by all the greatest mathematical analysts.'''
** J. M. Child, Preface, ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=ew1HafO1FSsC The Early Mathematical Manuscripts of Leibniz]'' (1920)

* When one compares the talents one has with those of a Leibniz, one is tempted to throw away one's books and go die quietly in the dark of some forgotten corner.
** [[Denis Diderot]], ''Oeuvres complètes'', vol. 7, p. 678, quoted in &quot;[https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/leibniz/ Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz]&quot; (2013) by Brandon C. Look

* Perhaps never has a man read as much, studied as much, meditated more, and written more than Leibniz… What he has composed on the world, God, nature, and the soul is of the most sublime eloquence. If his ideas had been expressed with the flair of Plato, the philosopher of Leipzig would cede nothing to the philosopher of Athens.
** [[Denis Diderot]], ''Oeuvres complètes'', vol. 7, p. 709, quoted in &quot;[https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/leibniz/ Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz]&quot; (2013) by Brandon C. Look

* The German idealist philosophical tradition from which [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]] emerged is usually held to begin with Gottfried Leibniz, who wrote mostly during the second half of the seventeenth century. Leibniz put forward the idea of “[[w:Monadology|monads]],” a starkly idealist conception. Essentially, “each monad is a soul,” in the words of [[Bertrand Russell]]. Leibniz reversed the traditional conception of mind and matter by applying attributes of matter (in terms of sensory experience) to mind. Mind is what it experiences. Every mind or soul becomes an independent attribute of the universe, divinely ordered or arranged. Leibniz’s focus truly was mind. […] Leibniz was born at the end of the Thirty Years’ War. Religious struggles, such as the Thirty Years’ War, are often protracted and intense because they concern fundamental individual beliefs and values to which compromise is not always applicable. Chaos and disorder reigned in the larger society from which Leibniz emerged. It is not surprising that his philosophy moved in the direction of mind from a strictly sociological perspective, for the world was too hard to bear.
** [[Alan Ebenstein]], ''Hayek's Journey: The Mind of Friedrich Hayek'' (2003), Ch. 2. German and Viennese Intellectual Thought

* In the History of Mathematics it is generally stated that  the higher analysis took its rise in  the method of indivisibles of [[w:Bonaventura Cavalieri|Cavalieri]] (1635). This assertion... is erroneous. ...Leibniz was led to his invention of the algorithm of the higher analysis by a study of the writings of [[Blaise Pascal|Pascal]], more than by anything else.
** C. I. Gerhardt, &quot;Leibniz and Pascal,&quot; (1891) ''Sitzungsberichte der Königlich Preussischen Akademie der Wissenschaften zu Berlin'' as quoted in ''[https://archive.org/details/earlymathematic01gerhgoog The Early Mathematical Manuscripts of Leibniz]'' (1920) Tr. J. M. Child

* '''As Leibniz was fond of saying, it is one and the same to be ''a'' thing and to be a ''thing''.''' In other words the “really real” is free from otherness, because what we could ascribe to it as other than what it is would actually be “another being.” For the same reason, being as such is free from change. In a doctrine where ''to be is to be the same'', otherness is the very negation of being. Thus in virtue of its self-identity, which forbids it to change unless indeed it ceased to be, true being is immutable in its own right. This permanency in self-identity is the chief mark of the “really real,” that is, of being.
** ''Being and Some Philosophers'' 1949, 1952 [[Étienne Gilson]] 1884-1978 

* As to Leibnitz, he is certainly a good philosopher, but in his [[w:Théodicée|''Theodicée'']] he goes too far and would have all actions necessary. His foreordained harmony is not the least credible nor feasible. If you can get a book entitled: [http://books.google.com/books?id=gI8PAAAAQAAJ ''An Essay on the Origin of Evil''], by [[w:William_King_(bishop)|Dr W. King]], you will find a much better solution of the question: 'whence comes evil?' Leibnitz does indeed reconcile it all with the goodness of God, but not so reasonably as Dr King.
** [[William Herschel]], June 12, 1761 Letter, &quot;William Herschel to Jacob Hershel&quot; in Constance Ann Lubbock's [http://books.google.com/books?id=Hcc5AAAAIAAJ ''The Herschel Chronicle: The Life-story of William Herschel and His Sister, Caroline Herschel''] p. 27

* Of all the works of Leibnitz, the ''&quot;Theodicee&quot;'' is the one most spoken of in Germany. Yet it is his feeblest production. This book, like several other writings in which Leibnitz expresses his religious sentiments, has obtained for its author an evil reputation, and has caused him to be cruelly misunderstood. His enemies have accused him of maudlin sentimentality and weakness of intellect; his friends, in defending, have proved him an accomplished hypocrite. The character of Leibnitz was for long a subject of controversy amongst us : the most partial critics could not absolve him from the accusation of duplicity; his most eager detractors were the freethinkers and the men of enlightenment. How could they pardon in a philosopher defence of the Trinity, eternal punishment, and the divinity of [[Christ]]! Their tolerance did not extend so far as that. But Leibnitz was neither fool nor knave, and by the lofty harmony of his intellect he was well able to defend Christianity in its integrity. I say, in its integrity, for he defended it against semi-Christianity. He established the consistency of the orthodox as opposed to the inconsistency of their adversaries. More than this he never attempted. He thus stood at that point of indifference where diverse systems appear as merely different sides of the same truth.
** [[Heinrich Heine]] ''[https://archive.org/stream/religionandphilo011616mbp#page/n5/mode/2up Religion and Philosophy in Germany, A fragment]'', pp. 66-67

* When the Eleatic School denied the possibility of motion, Diogenes, as everybody knows, stepped forth as an opponent. He stepped forth literally, for he said not a word, but merely walked several times back and forth, thinking that thereby he had sufficiently refuted those philosophers. Inasmuch as for a long time I have been engaged, at least occasionally, with the problem whether a repetition is possible and what significance it has, whether a thing gains or loses by being repeated, it suddenly occurred to me, &quot;Thou canst take a trip to Berlin, where thou hast been before, and convince thyself now whether a repetition is possible and what significance it may have.&quot; At home I had almost been brought to a standstill by the problem. Say what one will, it is sure to play a very important role in modem philosophy; for repetition is a decisive expression for what &quot;recollection&quot; was for the Greeks. Just as they taught that all knowledge is a recollection, so will modem philosophy teach that the whole of life is a repetition. The only modem philosopher who had an inkling of this was Leibnitz .
** Repetition by [[Soren Kierkegaard]] 1843 Lowrie translation 1941 p. 33 

* ''Plus un, moins un, plus un, moins un, etc.&lt;br /&gt;En ajoutant les deux premiers termes, les deux suivans, et ainsi du reste, on transforme la suite dans une autre dont chaque terme est zéro. Grandi, jésuite italien, en avait conclu la possibilité de la création; parce que la suite étant toujours égale à &amp;frac12;, il voyait cette fraction naìtre d'une infinité de zéros, ou du néant. Ce fut ainsi que Leibnitz crut voir l'image de la création, dans son arithmétique binaire ou il n'employait que les deux caractères zéro et l'unité. Il imagina que l'unité pouvait représenter Dieu, et zéro, lé néant; et que l'Être Suprême avait tiré du néant, tous les êtres; comme l'unité avec le zéro, exprime tous les nombres dans ce système. Cette idée plut tellement à Leibnitz, qu'il en fit part au jésuite Grimaldi, président du tribunal des mathématiques à la Chine, dans l'espérance que cet emblème de la création convertirait au christianisme, l'empereur d'alors qui aimait particulièrement le sciences. Je ne rapporte ce trait, que pour montrer jusqu'à quel point les préjugés de l'enfance peuvent égarer les plus grands hommes.''
** Plus one, minus one, plus one, minus one, etc.&lt;br /&gt;By adding the first two terms, the next two, and so forth, the result is converted into another for which each term is zero. [[w:Luigi Guido Grandi|Grandi]], the Italian Jesuit, had concluded the possibility of creation from [[w:History of Grandi's series|this series]]; because the result is always equal to &amp;frac12;, he saw the unborn fraction of infinitely many zeros, or nothingness. '''It was thus that Leibnitz saw in his [[w:Binary number#Binary arithmetic|binary arithmetic]] the image of creation. He imagined that Unity represented God, and Zero the void; and that the Supreme Being drew all beings from the void, just as unity and zero express all numbers in this system of numeration'''. This conception was so pleasing to Leibnitz that he communicated it to the Jesuit, [Claudio Filippo] Grimaldi, president of the Chinese tribunal for mathematics, in the hope that this emblem of creation would convert the Emperor of China, since he was very fond of the sciences, to Christianity. '''I mention this merely to show how childhood prejudices may lead astray even the greatest men.'''
** [[Pierre-Simon Laplace]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=rDUJAAAAIAAJ Essai Philosophique sur les Probabilitésas]'' (1814) p. 82, partially quoted in [[Tobias Dantzig]], ''{{w|Number: The Language of Science}}'' (1930) p. 15&lt;!--Thomas Cogswell Upham, Dugald Stewart ''Elements of Mental Philosophy'' (1831) pp.479-80 &quot;could not locate this quote in Vol. 1&quot; Vol. 2?--&gt; and in [[Richard Courant]], [[w:Herbert Robbins|Herbert Robbins]] ''What is Mathematics?'' (1941) revised by [[w:Ian Stewart|Ian Stewart]] (1996)

* In letters which went between me and that most excellent geometer. G.G. Leibniz, ten years ago, when I signified that I was in the knowledge of a method of determining maxima and minima, of drawing tangents, and the like, and when I concealed it in transposed letters involving this sentence (Data æquatione, etc., above cited) that most distinguished man wrote back that he had also fallen upon a method of the same kind, and communicated his method, which hardly differed from mine, except in his forms of words and symbols.
** [[Isaac Newton]], ''Principia'' (1687) 1st edition, Book II. Prop.7, scholium reference the co-discovery of the Calculus, as quoted by [[Florian Cajori]], ''[[A History of Mathematics]]'' (1893)

* Substances do not interact. Every substance is eternal. Bodies are phenomena, not independently real. Choices are determined but free. This is the best possible world. I first encountered Leibniz in an introduction to Modern Philosophy and the image of him as a philosopher so enthralled with his reasoning as to deny the reality in front of him stuck with me for a long time. It wasn't that his arguments were bad, but that their conclusions seemed obviously false. Wouldn't a swift kick in the shin suffice to prove that substances do interact, that bodies are real, and perhaps even that this is not the best possible world? This image of Leibniz as naive and detached from reality was cemented by Voltaire's satirical character Dr Pangloss, who insists over and over again - in the face of the worst suffering and injustice - that this is the best possible world. There is some irony in this image of Leibniz, as Leibniz was the far opposite of an 'ivory tower' philosopher. He consistently pursued positions that would increase his political influence over positions that would increase his leisure for study and reflection. Leibniz claimed the progress of knowledge as his main goal, but he approached this goal from two sides, on one side through his own research and writing while on the other side promoting institutions that would better support, disseminate, and apply knowledge. Today, Leibniz is best known or at least most widely read for his philosophical writings, but philosophy represents only a small part of his life's work. Although this book will focus on explaining Leibniz's philosophy, that philosophy must be approached from within the broader context of his life and time.
** Franklin Perkins, ''Leibniz: A Guide for the Perplexed'' (2007), p. 1

* As an interpreter of nature... Leibnitz stands in no comparison with [[Isaac Newton|Newton]]. His general views in physics were vague and unsatisfactory; he had no great value for inductive reasoning; it was not the way of arriving at truth which he was accustomed to take; and hence, to the greatest physical discovery of that age, and that which was established by the most ample induction, the existence of gravity as a ''fact'' in which all bodies agree, he was always incredulous, because no proof of it, ''a priori'' could be given.
** [[w:John Playfair|John Playfair]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=2ekgAQAAMAAJ Dissertations on the History of Metaphysical and Ethical: And of Mathematical and Physical Science]'', Vol. 1. Dissertation Third, p. 572.

* The principle premisses of Leibniz's philosophy appear to me to be five... :&lt;br /&gt;I. Every proposition has a subject and a predicate.&lt;br /&gt;II. A subject may have predicates which are qualities existing at various times. (Such a subject is called a ''[[w:Substance theory|substance]]''.)&lt;br /&gt;III. True propositions not asserting existence at particular times are necessary and analytic, but such as assert existence at particular times are contingent and synthetic. The latter depend upon final causes.&lt;br /&gt;IV. The Ego is a substance.&lt;br /&gt;V. Perception yields knowledge of an external world, ''ie.'' of existents other than myself and my states.&lt;br /&gt;The fundamental objection to Leibniz's philosophy will be found to be the inconsistency of the first premiss with the fourth and fifth; and in this inconsistency we shall find a general objection to [[w:Monadology|Monadism]].
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''[https://archive.org/details/cu31924052172271 A Critical Exposition of the Philosophy of Leibniz]'' (1900) Ch. 1, Leibniz's Premisses, p, 4.

* [We] will discuss Soul and Body, the doctrine of God, and Ethics. ...We shall find that Leibniz no longer shows great originality, but tends, with slight alterations of phraseology, to adopt (without acknowledgment) the views of the [[wiktionary:decry#Verb|decried]] [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]]. We shall find also many more minor inconsistencies than in the earlier part of [Leibniz's] system, these being due chiefly to the desire to avoid the impieties of the Jewish Atheist, and the still greater impieties to which Leibniz's own logic should have led him.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''[https://archive.org/details/cu31924052172271 A Critical Exposition of the Philosophy of Leibniz]'' (1900) Ch. 1, Leibniz's Premisses, p, 5.

* [[Plato]], in the ''Theaetetus'', had set to work to refute the identification of knowledge with perception, and from his time onwards almost all philosophers, down to and including [[René Descartes|Descartes]] and Leibniz, had taught that much of our most valuable knowledge is not derived from experience.
** Bertrand Russell, ''[[A History of Western Philosophy]]'' (1945) Book Three, Part I, Chapter XIII, Locke's Theory of Knowledge, p. 610

* In [[John_Locke|Locke's]] own day, his chief philosophical opponents were the [[w:Cartesianism|Cartesians]] and Leibniz. ...Until the publication of [[Immanuel_Kant|Kant's]] [[w:Critique_of_Pure_Reason|''Critique of Pure Reason']]' in 1781, it might have seemed as if the older philosophical tradition of Descartes, [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]], and Leibniz were being definitely overcome by the newer [[w:Empirical method|empirical method]]. The newer method, however, had never prevailed in German universities, and after 1792 it was held responsible for the horrors of the [[w:French_Revolution|Revolution]].
** Bertrand Russell, ''A History of Western Philosophy'' (1945) Book Three, Part I, Chapter XV, Locke's Influence, p. 641-642

* In Leibniz, a vast edifice of deduction is pyramided upon a pin-point of logical principle. In Leibniz, if the principle is completely true and the deductions are entirely valid, all is well; but the structure in unstable, and the slightest flaw anywhere brings it down in ruins.
** Bertrand Russell, ''[[A History of Western Philosophy]]'' (1945) Book Three, Part I, Chapter XV, Locke's Influence, p. 644

* Long before most of these facts were discovered, Leibnitz had conjectured that originally the earth in general, even in the north, enjoyed a much warmer temperature than in the present period of all-ruling and progressive frost; and Buffon and others have established on this idea their hypothesis of a vast central fire in the interior of the earth. The interior parts of the earth and its internal depths are a region totally impervious to the eye of mortal man, and can least of all be approached by those ordinary paths of hypothesis adopted by naturalists and geologists. 
** The Philosophy of History, Vol. 1 of 2 by [[Friedrich von Schlegel]]

* Leibniz's apparent corelessness stands for a fundamental philosophical problem, a quandary that reaches to the foundations of his system of philosophy. In the metaphysics he... presented to the world, '''Leibniz claimed that the one thing of which we can all be certain is the unity, permanence, immateriality, and absolute immunity to outside influence of the individual mind'''. In identifying the mind '''as a &quot;monad&quot;'''—the Greek word for &quot;unity&quot;—he positioned himself in direct opposition to [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]], whose allegedly materialist philosophy of mind he adamantly rejected. '''And yet the philosopher''' who made the unity of the individual the fundamental principle of the universe '''was himself incomparably fragmented, multiplicitous, exposed to the influence of others, and''' impossible to pin down. How could a monad be so '''[[wiktionary:multifarious#Adjective|multifarious]], not to say [[wiktionary:nefarious#Adjective|nefarious]]'''?
** [[w:Matthew Stewart (philosopher)|Matthew Stewart]], ''The Courtier and the Heretic'' (2006)

* Leibniz's work lacked the depth and virtuosity of [[Isaac Newton|Newton]]'s, but then Leibniz was a librarian, a philosopher, and a diplomat with only a part-time interest in mathematics.&lt;!--p.159--&gt;
** {{w|John Stillwell}}, ''Mathematics and Its History'' (1989)

* The lack of early practice in mathematics left its mark on Leibniz's later mathematical style, in which good ideas are sometimes inefficiently developed through lack of technical skill. Often he seemed to lack not only the technique but also the patience to develop the ideas conceived by his wide-ranging imagination.&lt;!--p.166--&gt;
** {{w|John Stillwell}}, ''Mathematics and Its History'' (1989)

* Leibnitz, though not propounding any full doctrine on evolution, gave it an impulse by suggesting a view contrary to the sacrosanct belief in the immutability of species... His punishment at the hands of the Church came a few years later, when in 1712, the [[w:Society of Jesus|Jesuits]] defeated his attempt to found an Academy of Science at Vienna.
** [[Andrew Dickson White]], ''[[A History of the Warfare of Science with Theology in Christendom]]'' Ch.1, p. 58 (1896)

* Leibnitz, dominated by ideas of communication, is, in more than one way, the intellectual ancestor of the ideas of this book, for he was also interested in machine computation and in automata. My views in this book are very far from being Leibnitzian, but the problems with which I am concerned are most certainly Leibnitzian. Leibnitz's computing machines were only an offshoot of his interest in a computing language, a reasoning calculus which again was in his mind, merely an extention of his idea of a complete artificial language. Thus, even in his computing machine, Leibnitz's preoccupations were mostly linguistic and communicational.
** [[Norbert Wiener]], ''The Human Use of Human Beings'' (1950)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikisource author}}
{{commons|Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz}}
* [http://www.philosophypages.com/ph/leib.htm Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz (1646-1716)] @PhilosophyPages.com
* [http://leibniz-bouvet.org/ Leibniz-Bouvet Correspondence], Tr. Alan Berkowitz and Daniel J. Cook
* [http://www.helsinki.fi/~mroinila/leibniz1.htm Leibnizian Resources] by Feggyn Kotisivu
* [http://www.leibniz-translations.com/ Leibniz translations] by Lloyd Strickland
* [http://philosophyfaculty.ucsd.edu/faculty/rutherford/Leibniz/ G. W. Leibniz Texts and Translations], Donald Rutherford, U California, San Diego

{{Social and political philosophers}}
{{Math quotes}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Leibniz, Gottfried}}

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'''''[[w:Yes, Minister|Yes, Minister]]''''' and its sequel ''[[w:Yes, Prime Minister|Yes, Prime Minister]]'' are British television shows that were broadcast between 1980 and 1988. All episodes were written by [[Antony Jay]] and [[w:Jonathan Lynn|Jonathan Lynn]]. The principal cast is as follows:
*[[w:Paul Eddington|Paul Eddington]] – The Right Honourable James Hacker MP
*[[w:Nigel Hawthorne|Nigel Hawthorne]] – Sir Humphrey Appleby
*[[w:Derek Fowlds|Derek Fowlds]] – Bernard Woolley

=Yes, Minister=
==Series One (1980)==
===Episode One: Open Government===
:'''Jim Hacker''': I'd like a new chair. I hate swivel chairs.
:'''Bernard Woolley''': It used to be said there were two kinds of chairs to go with two kinds of Minister: one sort folds up instantly; the other sort goes round and round in circles.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker:''' Who else is in this department?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under Secretary of State, known as the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private Secretary. I too have a Principal Private Secretary and he is the Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, 87 Under Secretaries and 219 Assistant Secretaries. Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain Private Secretaries, and the Prime Minister will be appointing two Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own Parliamentary Private Secretary.
:'''Hacker:''' Can they all type?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' None of us can type. Mrs Mackay types: she's the secretary.
:'''Minister:''' Pity, we could have opened an agency.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Very droll, Minister.
:'''Hacker:''' I suppose they all say that, do they?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Certainly not, Minister. Not quite all...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard''': But surely the citizens of a democracy have a right to know.
:'''Sir Humphrey Appleby''': No. They have a right to be ignorant. Knowledge only means complicity in guilt; ignorance has a certain dignity.

===Episode Two: The Official Visit===
:''[There are two official replies to the Minister's correspondence.]''
:'''Jim Hacker''': What's the difference?
:'''Bernard''': Well, &quot;under consideration&quot; means &quot;we've lost the file&quot;; &quot;under active consideration&quot; means &quot;we're trying to find it&quot;.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The President of Buranda plans a speech urging the Scots and Irish to fight against &quot;British colonialism&quot;.]''
:'''Jim Hacker''': Humphrey, do you think it is a good idea to issue a statement?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, Minister, in practical terms we have the usual six options. One: do nothing. Two: issue a statement deploring the speech. Three: lodge an official protest. Four: cut off aid. Five: break off diplomatic relations. And six: declare war.
:'''Hacker''': Which should be it?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, if we do nothing, that means we implicitly agree with the speech. If we issue a statement, we'll just look foolish. If we lodge a protest, it'll be ignored. We can't cut off aid, because we don't give them any. If we break off diplomatic relations, then we can't negotiate the oil rig contracts. And if we declare war, it might just look as though we were over-reacting.

===Episode Three: The Economy Drive===
:''[Frank Weisel is quoting an article in the Express about the fact that [[w:Inland Revenue|Inland Revenue]] has more employees than the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]].]''
:'''Frank Weisel''': &quot;Perhaps the government thinks that a tax is the best form of defence.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': How many people do we have in this department?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Ummm... well, we're very small...
:'''Hacker''': Two, maybe three thousand?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': About twenty-three thousand to be precise.
:'''Hacker''': TWENTY-THREE THOUSAND! In the department of administrative affairs, twenty-three thousand administrators just to administer the other administrators! We need to do a time-and-motion study, see who we can get rid of.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Ah, well, we did one of those last year.
:'''Hacker''': And what were the results?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It turned out that we needed another five hundred people.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[There is a government building with a reinforced concrete basement in case of a nuclear war.]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': There has to be somewhere to carry on government, even if everything else stops.
:'''Hacker''': Why?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, government doesn't stop just because the country's been destroyed! I mean, annihilation’s bad enough without anarchy to make things even worse!
:'''Hacker''': You mean you'd have a lot of rebellious cinders.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''':&quot;Bernard, this government is here to govern, not merely preside like our predecessors did. When a country is going downhill, it is time for someone to get into the driving seat, and put his foot on the accelerator.&quot;
:'''Bernard Woolley''':&quot;I think you mean the brake.&quot;

===Episode Four: Big Brother===
:''[The Minister is already double-booked when his wife reminds him of another prior engagement.]''
:'''Jim Hacker''': ''[on the phone]'' Bernard? Yes, it's me. Look, I'm going to have to cancel tomorrow. [[w:Swansea|Swansea]] ''and'' [[w:Newcastle upon Tyne|Newcastle]]. Well, you see, it's my wife's wedding anniversary tomorrow.
:'''Annie''': It's yours, too!
:'''Hacker''': And mine, too, actually. Yes, it is...What do you mean, &quot;coincidence&quot;? Don't be silly, Bernard!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[It is 2 a.m, and Hacker has just made a phone call to a sleepy Sir Humphrey.]''
:'''Hacker''': ''[hangs up]'' Oh, damn! I meant to tell him to come and see me about it before Cabinet.
:'''Annie''': Don't ring him now!
:'''Hacker''': No, perhaps you're right. It is a bit late.
:'''Annie''': Give him another ten minutes.

===Episode Five: The Writing on the Wall===
:'''Hacker''': I don't want the truth. I want something I can tell Parliament!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Am I to infer that you'll not support me?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh, we'll always support you, Minister; but as your standard bearer, not your pallbearer.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': May I say just one more thing?
:'''Hacker''': Only if it's in plain English!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Very well, Minister: if you're going to do this damn silly thing, don't do it in this damn silly way.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Minister, Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least the last five hundred years: to create a disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought [[w:Eighty Years' War|with the Dutch against the Spanish]], [[w:Napoleonic Wars|with the Germans against the French]], [[w:World War I|with the French and Italians against the Germans]], and [[w:World War II|with the French against the Germans and Italians]]. Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now, when it's worked so well?
:'''Hacker''': That's all ancient history, surely?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, and current policy. We ''had'' to break the whole thing [the [[w:European Economic Community|EEC]]] up, so we ''had'' to get inside. We tried to break it up from the outside, but that wouldn't work. Now that we're inside we can make a complete pig's breakfast of the whole thing &amp;mdash; set the Germans against the French, the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... The Foreign Office is terribly pleased; it's just like old times.
:'''Hacker''': But surely we're all committed to the European ideal?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[chuckles]'' Really, Minister.
:'''Hacker''': If not, why are we pushing for an increase in the membership?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, for the same reason. It's just like the [[w:United Nations|United Nations]], in fact; the more members it has, the more arguments it can stir up, the more futile and impotent it becomes.
:'''Hacker''': What appalling cynicism.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes... We call it diplomacy, Minister.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Foreign Secretary explains the Napoleon prize.]''
:'''Martin''': Yes, it's a [[w:NATO|NATO]] award given once every five years: gold medal, big ceremony in [[w:Brussels|Brussels]], £100 000. The PM's the front runner this time. It's for the statesman who's made the biggest contribution to European unity.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Since [[w:Napoleon I of France|Napoleon]]. That is if you don't count [[w:Adolf Hitler|Hitler]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Minister tries and gets a straight answer out of Sir Humphrey Appleby.]''
:'''Jim Hacker''': When you give your evidence to the Think Tank, are you going to support my view that the Civil Service is over manned and feather-bedded, or not? Yes or no? Straight answer.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well Minister, if you ask me for a straight answer, then I shall say that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one thing with another in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say, that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would probably find that, not to put too fine a point on it, there probably wasn't very much in it one way or the other. As far as one can see, at this stage.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Daniel Hughes''': Let's face it, all your functions could be subsumed by other departments. Jim Hacker will win through with a thoroughly public-spirited, self-sacrificing policy. The PM will probably kick him upstairs: Lord Hacker of Kamikaze. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I hardly think that's funny, Daniel. Or likely.
:'''Daniel Hughes''': But why not? I mean, he ran the leadership campaign against the PM, didn't he? This could be the PM's masterstroke! In one fell swoop: approbation, elevation, and castration. You know the PM's motto: in defeat, malice. In victory, revenge.

===Episode Six: The Right to Know===
:'''Hacker''': Humphrey, do you see it as part of your job to help ministers make fools of themselves?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, I never met one that ''needed'' any help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Minister, I have something to say to you which you may not like to hear.
:'''Jim Hacker''': Why should today be any different?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Minister, the traditional allocation of executive responsibilities has always been so determined as to liberate the ministerial incumbent from the administrative minutiae by devolving the managerial functions to those whose experience and qualifications have better formed them for the performance of such humble offices, thereby releasing their political overlords for the more onerous duties and profound deliberations which are the inevitable concomitant of their exalted position.
:'''Jim Hacker''': I wonder what made you think I didn't want to hear that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[How to guide ministers to making the right decisions]''
:'''Sir Frederick:''' [...] there are four words to be included in a proposal if you want it thrown out.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Complicated. Lengthy. Expensive. Controversial. And if you want to be ''really'' sure that the Minister doesn't accept it, you must say the decision is &quot;courageous&quot;.
:'''Bernard:''' And that's worse than &quot;controversial&quot;?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Oh, yes! &quot;Controversial&quot; only means &quot;this will lose you votes&quot;. &quot;Courageous&quot; means &quot;this will lose you the election&quot;!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While going through the Minister's post]''
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' You know the rules, Bernard - if it is not marked &quot;Private and Confidential&quot; we are obliged to open it.
:'''Bernard:''' What if it's marked &quot;Daddy&quot;?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Humphrey tries to explain about Lucy's nude protest]''
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' The Minister's daughter is to be...that is to say, she will ''not'' be...
:'''Hacker:''' Come on Humphrey, make a clean breast of it!
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' An unfortunate turn of phrase, Minister.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': One: I am not a &quot;badger-butcher&quot;. Two: badgers are not an endangered species. Three: the removal of protective status does not necessarily mean the badgers will be killed. Four: if a few badgers have to be sacrificed for the sake of a master plan that will save Britain's natural heritage - tough!
:'''Lucy''': ''[sarcastically gives a [[w:Nazism|Nazi]] salute]'' Ze &quot;[[w:Holocaust|master plan]]&quot;, [[w:Adolf Hitler|mein Fuhrer]]! Ze end justifies ze means, does it?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Sir Humphrey prevents Lucy's nude protest by telling her that the Hayward Spinney badger colony is non-existent]''
:'''Hacker''': Humphrey, was there one word of truth in that whole story that you told Lucy?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Minister, do you really want me to answer that question?
:'''Hacker''': ''[thinks uneasily]'' No, I don't think I do.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[smiles]'' Quite so. Perhaps there ''are'' some things it is better for a Minister not to know?

===Episode Seven: Jobs for the Boys===
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Bernard, Ministers should never know more than they need to know. Then they can't tell anyone. Like secret agents; they could be captured and tortured.
:'''Bernard''': ''[shocked]'' You mean by terrorists?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[seriously]'' By the [[w:BBC|BBC]], Bernard.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': You're blathering, Bernard.
:'''Bernard''': Yes, Minister.
:'''Hacker''': Why are you blathering, Bernard?
:'''Bernard''': It's my job, Minister.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It takes two to [[w:quango|quango]], Minister!

==Series Two (1981)==
===Episode One: The Compassionate Society===
:'''Hacker''': The [[w:National Health Service (England)|National Health Service]], Humphrey, is an advanced case of galloping [[w:Bureaucracy|bureaucracy]]!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh, certainly not galloping. A gentle canter at the most.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sir Humphrey agrees with the union leader that [[w:Industrial action|industrial action]] at St Edward's Hospital would also benefit civil servants.]''
:'''Brian Baker''': What about the Minister?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': The Minister doesn't know his [[w:Acas|Acas]] from his [[w:National Association of Local Government Officers|NALGO]].

===Episode Two: Doing the Honours===
:'''Hacker:''' I'm not going to approve any honour for any civil servant of this department who hasn't earned it.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' What do you mean &quot;earned it?&quot;
:'''Hacker:''' I mean &quot;earned it.&quot; Done something to deserve it.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' ''[outraged]'' But that's unheard of!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bernard explains to the Minister the honours available to senior Civil Servants.]''
:'''Hacker:''' Well, what has Sir Arnold to fear, anyway? He's got all the honours he could want, surely?
:'''Bernard:''' Well, naturally he has his G.
:'''Hacker:''' G?
:'''Bernard:''' Yes; you get your G after your K.
:'''Hacker:''' You speak in riddles, Bernard.
:'''Bernard:''' Well, take the Foreign Office. First you get the CMG, then the KCMG, then the GCMG; the Commander of the [[w:Order of St Michael and St George|Order of St Michael and St George]], Knight Commander of St Michael and St George, Knight Grand Cross of St Michael and St George. Of course, in the Service, CMG stands for &quot;Call Me God,&quot; and KCMG for &quot;Kindly Call Me God.&quot;
:'''Hacker:''' ''[chuckles]'' What does GCMG stand for?
:'''Bernard:''' &quot;God Calls Me God.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Master of Baillie College learns why the honorary [[w:Doctor of Laws|doctorate of law]] should not go to a judge.]''
:'''Hacker:''' ''[a bit drunk]'' A judge?! You don't want to make a ''judge'' a doctor of laws! Politicians are the ones who make the laws, and pass the laws! If it wasn't for politicians, judges wouldn't be able to do any judging! They wouldn't have any laws to judge! They'd all be out of work! There'd be ''queues'' of unemployed judges! In silly wigs!
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' ''[tries to interrupt]'' I think what the Minister is trying to say is...
:'''Hacker:'''  Besides, it's easy for judges. Judges don't have to lie to television producers, don't have to suck up to journalists, don't have to pretend they like their Cabinet colleagues. Do you know something? Well I'll tell you: if judges had to put up with some of my Cabinet colleagues, they'd bring [[w:Capital punishment|capital punishment]] back tomorrow! Bloody good thing, too!
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' ''[tries to interrupt]'' Well, exactly, Minister...
:'''Hacker:''' And I'll tell you ''another'' thing: I can't send him ''[points at Sir Humphrey]'' to prison. Can't send him to prison! Now, if I were a judge, I could whiz old Humpy off to [[w:Wormwood Scrubs (HM Prison)|The Scrubs]], no trouble. Feet wouldn't touch. Clang, bang, see you in three years' time! One-third remission for good conduct. But I can't ''do'' that! I have to ''listen'' to him! Oh, God! On and on and on! Do you know, some of his sentences are longer than [[w:George Jeffreys, 1st Baron Jeffreys|Judge Jeffreys]]'! No, you don't want to make a judge a doctor of laws.
:''[Stunned pause]''
:'''Master of Baillie College:''' Beautifully argued, Minister.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard''': And as you know the letters JB are the highest honour in the Commonwealth.
:'''Hacker''': JB?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Jailed by the British. [[w:Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]], [[w:Kwame_Nkrumah|Nkrumah]], [[w:Makarios_III|Makarios]], [[w:Ben Gurion|Ben Gurion]], [[w:Jomo Kenyatta|Kenyatta]], [[w:Jawaharlal Nehru|Nehru]], [[w:Robert Mugabe|Mugabe]], the list of world leaders is endless, and contains several of our students.
:'''Hacker''': Ah – ''our'' students? Humphrey, which college did you go to?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': That's quite beside the point!
:'''Hacker''': But I like being beside the point. Humour me, Humphrey. Which college did you go to?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It so happens, that I am a Baillie man, but that has ''nothing'' to do with it!
:'''Hacker''': Oh, of course not! What a thought! ''[slaps wrist]'' Naughty!

===Episode Three: The Death List===
:'''Hacker''': What does &quot;egregious&quot; mean?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Um, I think it means outstanding... In one way or another.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker:''' Ask Walter Fowler of ''The Express'' to meet me in the House tonight for a drink. Annie's bar.
:'''Bernard:''' What for, Minister?
:'''Hacker:''' First law of political indiscretion: always have a drink before you leak.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker:''' The freedom of the British people is worth more than the lives of a few Ministers. Freedom is indivisible. Ministers are expendable. A man in public life must expect to be the target of cranks and fanatics. ''[Sliding into a Churchill impersonation.]'' It is a Minister's duty to set his life at naught. He must be able to stand up and say, here I am, do your worst! And not cower in craven terror behind electronic equipment, secret microphones, and all the hideous apparatus of the police state. ''[He snaps back to his normal self.]'' Anyway, Humphrey, I don't want to hear any more about it.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' But Minister, you must allow me to say just one more thing on this matter.
:'''Hacker:''' Very well, just one, but be brief.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' The Special Branch have found your name on a death list.
:'''Hacker:''' That has absolutely no bearing on the situation... What?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bernard wheels in a petition from the archives against surveillance, containing more than two million signatures.]''
:'''Bernard:''' Shall I file it?
:'''Hacker:''' Shall you file it? Shred it!
:'''Bernard:''' Shred it?
:'''Hacker:''' No one must ever be able to find it again!
:'''Bernard:''' In that case, Minister, I think it's best I file it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sir Humphrey informs the Minister that the Special Branch no longer believe there is a threat to the Minister's life.]''
:'''Hacker:''' How do they know?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Surveillance. They overheard a conversation.
:'''Hacker:''' What did it say?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Oh I don't think it's of any particular—
:'''Hacker:''' ''[Interrupting]'' Come on, Humphrey! I have a right to know!
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well, it was a conversation to the effect that in view of the somewhat nebulous and inexplicit nature of your remit, and the arguably marginal and peripheral nature of your influence within the central deliberations and decisions within the political process, there could be a case for restructuring their action priorities in such a way as to eliminate your liquidation from their immediate agenda.
:'''Hacker:''' They said that?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' That was the gist of it.
:'''Hacker:''' What does it mean? In English?!
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well, it means that they don't think you're really important enough for it to be worth assassinating you.

===Episode Four: The Greasy Pole===
:''[No one at the meeting seems to know anything about chemistry.]''
:'''Joan Littler:''' What does &quot;inert&quot; mean?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well it means it's not… ert.
:'''Bernard''': ''[to himself]'' Wouldn't ert a fly.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Minister, a minister can do what he likes!
:'''Hacker''': It's the people's will. I am their leader; I must follow them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': The people are ignorant and misguided.
:'''Hacker''': Humphrey, it's the people who elected me.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[smiles and nods]''

===Episode Five: The Devil You Know===
:'''Hacker''': Europe is a community of nations, dedicated towards one goal.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': [laughs moderately]
:'''Hacker''': May we share the joke, Humphrey?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh Minister, let's look at this objectively. It is a game played for national interests, and always was. Why do you suppose we went into it?
:'''Hacker''': To strengthen the brotherhood of free Western nations.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh really. We went in to screw the French by splitting them off from the Germans.
:'''Hacker''': So why did the French go into it, then?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, to protect their inefficient farmers from commercial competition.
:'''Hacker''': That certainly doesn't apply to the Germans.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': No, no. They went in to cleanse themselves of genocide and apply for readmission to the human race.
:'''Hacker''': I never heard such appalling cynicism! At least the small nations didn't go into it for selfish reasons.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh really? Luxembourg is in it for the perks; the capital of the EEC, all that foreign money pouring in.
:'''Hacker''': Very sensible central location.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': With the administration in Brussels and the Parliament in [[w:Strasbourg|Strasbourg]]? Minister, it's like having the [[w:House of Commons|House of Commons]] in [[w:Swindon|Swindon]] and the Civil Service in [[w:Kettering|Kettering]]!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Minister and his subordinates discuss the rumoured Cabinet reshuffle.]''
:'''Hacker''': How does Bob Carver know about it when we don't?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Perhaps he has the PM's ear.
:'''Hacker''': Yes, he is in the PM's pocket.
:'''Bernard''': Then the PM must have rather a large ear.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sir Humphrey claims he would be deeply sorry to see the Minister leave the DAA.]''
:'''Hacker''': Yes, I suppose we have got rather fond of one another. In a way.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[laughs]'' In a way, yes!
:'''Hacker''': ''[jokingly]'' Like a terrorist and his hostage!
:'''Bernard''': Which one of you is the terrorist?
:'''Hacker &amp; Sir Humphrey''': ''[each points at the other]'' He is.

===Episode Six: The Quality of Life===
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Didn't you read the ''[[w:Financial Times|Financial Times]]'' this morning?
:'''Sir Desmond Glazebrook''': Never do.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, you're a banker. Surely you read the ''Financial Times''?
:'''Sir Desmond''': Can't understand it. Full of economic theory.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Why do you buy it?
:'''Sir Desmond''': Oh, you know, it's part of the uniform. It took me thirty years to understand [[w:Keynesian economics|Keynes' economics]].  Then when I'd just cottoned on, everyone started getting hooked on these new monetarist ideas, you know, ''[[w:Free to Choose|'I Want To Be Free']]'' by [[w:Milton Shulman|Milton Shulman]].
:'''Sir Humphrey''': [[w:Milton Friedman|Milton Friedman]].
:'''Sir Desmond''': Why are they all called Milton?  Anyway, I've only got as far as [[w:Milton Keynes|Milton Keynes]].
:'''Sir Humphrey''': [[w:Maynard Keynes|Maynard Keynes]].
:'''Sir Desmond''': I'm sure there's a Milton Keynes.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, there is, but it's... [Humphrey gives up]

===Episode Seven: A Question of Loyalty===
:'''Hacker''': Why is it that ministers can't ever go anywhere without their briefs?
:'''Bernard''': It's in case they get caught with their trousers down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Standard excuses when faced with serious allegations]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': There's the excuse we used for the [[w:Munich Agreement|Munich Agreement]]: it occurred before certain important facts were known and couldn't happen again.
:'''Hacker''': What important facts?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, that Hitler wanted to conquer Europe.
:'''Hacker''': I thought everybody knew that.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Not the Foreign Office.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Why has the Minister been invited to Number 10?]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Perhaps it is just for a drink, Minister.
:'''Hacker''': Don't be silly, Humphrey. They don't ask you to Number 10 for a drink just because they think you're thirsty!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Betty Oldham''': Look, Sir Humphrey, whatever we ask the Minister, he says is an administrative question for you, and whatever we ask you, you say is a policy question for the Minister. How do you suggest we find out what is going on? 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, yes, yes, I do see that there is a real dilemma here. In that, while it has been government policy to regard policy as a responsibility of Ministers and administration as a responsibility of Officials, the questions of administrative policy can cause confusion between the policy of administration and the administration of policy, especially when responsibility for the administration of the policy of administration conflicts, or overlaps with, responsibility for the policy of the administration of policy.
:'''Betty Oldham''': Well, that's a load of meaningless drivel. ''[pause]'' Isn't it?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It's not for me to comment on government policy. You must ask the Minister.

==Series Three (1982)==
===Episode One: Equal Opportunities===
:''[How to deal with a nonsensical complaint]''
:'''Bernard''': We can CGSM it.
:'''Hacker''': CGSM?
:'''Bernard''': Civil Service code, Minister. It stands for &quot;Consignment of Geriatric Shoe Manufacturers&quot;.
:'''Hacker''': What?
:'''Bernard''': A load of old cobblers, Minister.
:'''Hacker''': I'm not a civil servant. I shall use my own code. I shall write: &quot;Round Objects&quot;.

:''[...later...]''

:'''Bernard''': You remember that letter you wrote &quot;Round Objects&quot; on?
:'''Hacker''': Oh yes.
:'''Bernard''': It's come back from Sir Humphrey's office. He's commented on it.
:'''Hacker''': What does he say?
:'''Bernard''': Who is Round and to what does he object?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Now, Minister, if you are going to promote women just because they're the best person for the job, you will create a ''lot'' of resentment throughout the whole of the Civil Service!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': The three articles of Civil Service faith: it takes longer to do things quickly, it's more expensive to do them cheaply and it's more democratic to do them in secret.

===Episode Two: The Challenge===
:'''Sir Arnold:''' Life is so much easier when ministers think they've achieved something; it stops them fretting, and their little temper tantrums.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Yes, but now he wants to introduce his next idea.
:'''Sir Arnold:''' A minister with ''two'' ideas? I can't remember when we last had one of those.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' ''[talking about nuclear fallout shelters]'' Well, you have the weapons; you must have the shelters.
:'''Hacker:''' I sometimes wonder why we need the weapons.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Minister! You're not a unilateralist?
:'''Hacker:''' I sometimes wonder, you know.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well, then, you must resign from the government!
:'''Hacker:''' Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not ''that'' unilateralist! Anyway, the Americans will always protect us from the Russians, won't they?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Russians? Who's talking about the Russians?
:'''Hacker:''' Well, the independent deterrent.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' It's to protect us against the French!
:'''Hacker:''' The French?! But that's astounding!
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Why?
:'''Hacker:''' Well they're our allies, our partners.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well, they are now, but they've been our enemies for the most of the past 900 years.  If they've got the bomb, we must have the bomb!
:'''Hacker:''' If it's for the French, of course, that's different.  Makes a lot of sense.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Yes.  Can't trust the Frogs.
:'''Hacker:''' You can say that again!

===Episode Three: The Skeleton in the Cupboard===
:'''Sir Humphrey''': If local authorities don't send us statistics, Government figures will be a nonsense.
:'''Hacker''': Why?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': They'll be incomplete.
:'''Hacker''': Government figures are a nonsense, anyway.
:'''Bernard''': I think Sir Humphrey wants to ensure they're a complete nonsense.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard''': ''[on the phone]'' Hello, Graham, it's Bernard. Tell Sir Humphrey that the Minister's just gone walkabout. Yes, yes, AWOL. Well, of ''course'' I told him, yes. I know. I think you'd better let him know right away. 
:''[hangs up] ''
:'''Bernard''': One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... TEN. 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[walks in on the stroke of ten]'' What's all this about? 
:'''Bernard''': The minister's just left the office, that's all. 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': That's ''all?'' Do you mean he's loose in the building? Why didn't you warn me? 
:'''Bernard''': I did advise him, but he is the minister. There's no prohibition against ministers talking to their staff. 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Who's he talking to? 
:'''Bernard''': Perhaps he was just restless. 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': If the minister's restless, he can feed the ducks in St James's Park! 
:'''Bernard''': Yes, Sir Humphrey. 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Tell me who the minister's talking to. 
:'''Bernard''': Well, surely the minister can talk to anyone?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Bernard... I'm in the middle of writing your annual report. Now, it is not a responsibility that either of us would wish me to discharge whilst I am in a bad temper. Who's the minister talking to? 
:'''Bernard''': Perhaps you could help me. I can see that you should know if he calls on an outsider. I fail to see why you should be informed if he just wants to, to take a hypothetical example, to check a point with... Dr Cartwright... 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Thank you, Bernard. Must fly. 
:'''Bernard''': Room 4017. 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I know!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Bernard, how did Sir Humphrey know I was with Dr Cartwright? 
:'''Bernard''': God moves in a mysterious way. 
:'''Hacker''': Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Humphrey is not God, OK? 
:'''Bernard''': Will you tell him or shall I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Get Humphrey to come back here at once.
:'''Bernard''': Yes, Minister. ''[Picks up phone]'' The Minister wonders if Sir Humphrey could spare time for a meeting sometime in the next few days.
:'''Hacker''': At once.
:'''Bernard''': In fact, sometime today is really...
:'''Hacker''': ''At once!''
:'''Bernard''': ...Sometime during the next 60 seconds. ''[hangs up]'' He's coming round now.
:'''Hacker''': Why? Did he faint?
:'''Bernard''': No, he's just, you know...
:''[they both start giggling]''
:'''Hacker''': This is serious, Bernard.
:'''Bernard''': Yes, I know.
:'''Hacker''': This is no laughing matter.
:'''Bernard''': No, certainly not.
:'''Hacker''': The question is, how am I going to deal with it?
:'''Bernard''': In my opinion...
:'''Hacker''': The question was purely rhetorical, Bernard.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': The identity of the official whose alleged responsibility for this hypothetical oversight has been the subject of recent discussion is ''not'' shrouded in quite such impenetrable obscurity as certain previous disclosures may have led you to assume; but not to put too fine a point on it, the individual in question is, it may surprise you to learn, one whom your present [[wiktionary:interlocutor|interlocutor]] is in the habit of defining by means of the [[w:I (pronoun)|perpendicular pronoun]].
:'''Hacker''': I beg your pardon?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It was... I.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': How am I going to explain the missing documents to the Mail?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, this is what we normally do in circumstances like these. 
:''[passes Hacker a memo]''
:'''Hacker''': &quot;This file contains the complete set of papers, except for a number of secret documents, a few others which are part of still active files, some correspondence lost in the floods of 1967...&quot; Was 1967 a particularly bad winter?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': No, a marvellous winter. We lost no end of embarrassing files.
:'''Hacker''': &quot;...Some records which went astray in the move to London and others when the War Office was incorporated in the Ministry of Defence, and the normal withdrawal of papers whose publication could give grounds for an action for libel or breach of confidence or cause embarrassment to friendly governments&quot;. That's pretty comprehensive. How many does that normally leave for them to look at?

''[Humphrey shrugs]''
:'''Hacker''': How many does it actually leave? About a hundred?... Fifty?... Ten?... Five?... Four?... Three?... Two?... One?... ''Zero?'' 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, Minister.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, obviously I'm not a trained lawyer or I wouldn't have been in charge of the legal unit! 

===Episode Four: The Moral Dimension===

:'''Hacker''': Isn't this terrible? Print baseless accusations like this!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh, yes, yes, terrible.
:'''Hacker''': Baksheesh, palm-greasing! Good God, we're British!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Absolutely, Minister!
:'''Hacker''': Still, it's not like the FT to print a story like this unless there's something behind it. ''Is'' there something behind it, Humphrey?
:'''Bernard''': I think the sports news is behind it.
:'''Hacker''': I want to know the truth, Humphrey.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I don't think you do, Minister.
:'''Hacker''': Will you answer a direct question?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I strongly advise you not to ask a direct question.
:'''Hacker''': Why?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It might provoke a direct answer.
:'''Hacker''': It never has yet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Bernard, what do YOU know about this? Tell me on your word of honour.
:'''Bernard''': Oh, well, I... er... Er, that is... there was. Someone did.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It’s a lot of gossip, that's all. Rumour, hearsay.
:'''Hacker''': Bernard?
:'''Bernard''': Well one of the Kumranis did tell me he'd received...
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Hearsay, Minister.
:'''Hacker''': Hearsay?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, Bernard heard him say it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Are you telling me Humphrey that the BES contract was won by bribery?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh Minister, I do wish you wouldn't use words like bribery.
:'''Hacker''': What would you like me to say? Slush funds, sweeteners, brown envelopes?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh Minister these are extremely crude and unworthy expressions for what is no more than creative negotiation. It is the general practice.
:'''Hacker''': You do realise what you're saying don’t you, Humphrey? I ratified that contract, didn’t I? In good faith!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes indeed, Minister.
:'''Hacker''': And in that communiqué I issued to the press, I announced a British success won in a fair fight!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Mm, yes, I did wonder about that bit.
:'''Hacker''': Now you're telling me it was got by bribery.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': No, Minister.
:'''Hacker''': Oh, it was not got by bribery?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': That is not what I said.
:'''Hacker''': What did you say?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I said I'm not telling you it was got by bribery.
:'''Hacker''': Well how would you describe these payments?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': How does the contract describe them you mean? Oh, well, that's really quite simple. Retainers, personal donations, special discounts. Miscellaneous outgoings, agents' fees, political contributions, management expenses.
:'''Hacker''': And how are these payments made?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well anything from a numbered account in a Swiss bank, to a fistful of used oncers slipped under the door of the gents.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Are you saying that winking at corruption is government policy?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': No, no, Minister! It could never be government policy. That is unthinkable! Only government practice.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': You're a [[w:Cynicism|cynic]], Humphrey!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': A cynic is what an idealist calls a realist.

===Episode Five: The Bed of Nails===
:''[Hacker has been offered the job of Transport Supremo.]''
:'''Hacker''': Sir Mark thinks there might be votes in it, and I do not intend to look a gift horse in the mouth.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I put it to you, Minister, that you are looking a [[w:Trojan Horse|Trojan horse]] in the mouth.
:'''Hacker''': You mean if we look closely at this gift horse, we'll find it's full of Trojans?
:'''Bernard''': Um, if you had looked the Trojan Horse in the mouth, Minister, you would have found Greeks inside.  Well, the point is that it was the Greeks who gave the Trojan horse to the Trojans, so technically it wasn't a Trojan horse at all; it was a Greek horse. Hence the tag &quot;timeo Danaos et dona ferentes&quot;, which, you will recall, is usually and somewhat inaccurately translated as &quot;beware of [[w:Greeks bearing gifts|Greeks bearing gifts]]&quot;, or doubtless you would have recalled had you not attended the [[w:London School of Economics|LSE]].
:'''Hacker''': Yes, well, I'm sure Greek tags are all very well in their way; but can we stick to the point?
:'''Bernard''': Sorry, sorry: ''Greek'' tags?
:'''Hacker''': &quot;Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.&quot;  I suppose the EEC equivalent would be &quot;Beware of Greeks bearing an [[w:Olive oil|olive oil]] surplus&quot;.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Excellent, Minister.
:'''Bernard''': No, well, the point is, Minister, that just as the Trojan horse was in fact Greek, what you describe as a Greek tag is in fact Latin. It's obvious, really: the Greeks would never suggest bewaring of themselves, if one can use such a participle (bewaring that is).  And it's clearly Latin, not because ''timeo'' ends in &quot;-o&quot;, because the Greek first person also ends in &quot;-o&quot; – although actually there is a Greek word ''timao'', meaning 'I honour'.  But the &quot;-os&quot; ending is a nominative singular termination of a second declension in Greek, and an accusative plural in Latin, of course, though actually ''Danaos'' is not only the Greek for 'Greek'; it's also the Latin for 'Greek'.  It's very interesting, really.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': The [[w:Ship of state|ship of state]], Bernard, is the only ship that leaks from the top.

===Episode Six: The Whisky Priest===
:'''Hacker''': Last night a confidential source disclosed to me that British arms are being sold to Italian red terrorist groups.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I see. May I ask who this confidential source was?
:'''Hacker''': Humphrey, I just said it was confidential.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh, I'm sorry. I naturally assumed that meant you were going to tell me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Minister has received a letter with information about sanctions violations.]''
:'''Hacker''': I'm trapped. I can't tell the PM, I can't not tell the PM.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I see.
:'''Bernard''': I was just wondering, Minister, if we may not use the Rhodesia solution.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Bernard! You excel yourself! Of course, Minister, the Rhodesia solution!
:'''Hacker''': What are you talking about?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oil sanctions, remember? A member of the government was told about the way British companies were sanction-busting.
:'''Hacker''': What did you do?
:'''Bernard''': He told the Prime Minister.
:'''Hacker''': What did he do?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': He told the Prime Minister in such a way that the Prime Minister didn't hear him.
:'''Hacker''': Would you mean I should mumble it or something in the division lobby?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': No, Minister, you write a note.
:'''Hacker''': In very faint pencil? Please, impractical.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': No, Minister, it's awfully obvious; you write a note which is susceptible to misinterpretation.
:'''Hacker''': Oh, I see. ''Dear Prime Minister, it has come to my attention that the Italian Red Terrorists are getting hold of British top secret bomb-making equipment''—how do you misinterpret that?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': You can't.
:'''Hacker''': Well, exactly.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': So you don't write that. You use a more circumspect style, and you avoid any mention of bombs, or terrorists, or any of that.
:'''Hacker''': Wouldn't that be rather difficult? Is that what it's all about?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': You say—Bernard, write this down—''My attention has been drawn, on a personal basis, to information which suggests the possibility of certain irregularities under Section''... ''[snaps fingers]''
:'''Bernard''': Section 1 of the Import, Export and Customs Powers Defence Act 1939 C.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Thank you, Bernard. You then go on to suggest that somebody ''else'' should do something about it. ''Prima facie evidence suggests that there could be a case for further investigation; to establish whether or not enquiries should be put in hand.'' And then you smudge it all over.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''Nevertheless, it should be stressed that available information is limited, and relevant facts could be difficult to establish with any degree of certainty.''
:'''Hacker''': I see.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Then, if there were an inquiry, you'd be in the clear, and everybody would understand that the busy PM might not have grasped the full implications of such a letter
:'''Hacker''': They certainly would; that's most unclear.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Thank you, Minister. Then you arrange for the letter to arrive at Number 10 on the day the PM leaves for an overseas summit, so there's also doubt about whether it was the PM or the acting PM who read the note. And so the whole thing is written off as a breakdown in communications, everybody's in the clear, and everybody can get on with their business.
:'''Bernard''': Including the Red Terrorists.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Exactly.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': My job is to carry out government policy.
:'''Hacker''': Even if you think it's wrong?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, almost all government policy is wrong, but… frightfully well carried out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard''': If it's our job to carry out government policies, shouldn't we believe in them?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh, what an extraordinary idea! I have served 11 governments in the past 30 years. If I'd believed in all their policies, I'd have been passionately committed to keeping out of [[European Union|the Common Market]], and passionately committed to joining it. I'd have been utterly convinced of the rightness of [[Clement Attlee|nationalising steel]] and of [[Margaret Thatcher|denationalising it]] and [[Tony Benn|renationalising it]]. Capital punishment? I'd have been a fervent retentionist and an ardent abolitionist. I'd have been a [[Keynesian]] and a [[Friedmanite]], a grammar school preserver and destroyer, a nationalisation freak and a privatisation maniac, but above all, I would have been a stark-staring raving schizophrenic!

===Episode Seven: The Middle-Class Rip-Off===
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[calmly]'' Bernard, subsidy is for art, for culture. ''[almost furiously]'' It is not to be given to what the people ''want''! It is for what the people ''don't'' want but ought to have!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Nothing wrong with subsidising sport. Sport is educational.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': We have [[w:sex education|sex education]] too. Should we subsidise sex, perhaps?
:'''Bernard''': ''[earnestly]'' Oh, could we?

==Christmas at the Ministry (1982): &quot;The Funny Side of Christmas&quot;==


:'''Sir Humphrey:''' I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice in government service as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average.

:'''Jim Hacker: '''Are you trying to say &quot;Happy Christmas,&quot; Humphrey?

:'''Sir Humphrey: '''Yes, Minister.

==Christmas Special (1984): Party Games==
:''[The Home Secretary has been forced to resign after a drink-driving incident]''
:'''Hacker:''' What will happen to him?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well, I gather he was as drunk as a lord. So, after a discreet interval, they'll probably make him one.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The EEC wants to standardise sausages, and it turns out British bangers are not up to the standard]''
:'''Hacker:''' By the end of next year, we shall be waving good-bye to the good old British sausage, and we'll be forced to accept some foreign muck like salami or bratwurst or something in its place.
:'''Bernard:''' They can't stop us eating the British sausage, can they?
:'''Hacker''' They can stop us calling it the sausage, though. Apparently, it's going to be called the &quot;emulsified high-fat offal tube&quot;.
:'''Bernard:''' And you swallowed it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bernard is waiting at the Hackers' flat for the Minister to come home]''
:'''Annie Hacker:''' He's obviously been held up. You can stamp some of these cards for me while you're waiting if you like.
:'''Bernard Woolley:''' Oh, but aren't they to constituents?
:'''Annie:''' Yes.
:'''Bernard:''' Well, that's not government business, Mrs Hacker, that's political activity. I'm not allowed to help with the Minister's political activities.
:'''Annie:''' Suppose they were all to journalists?
:'''Bernard:''' Oh, that would be alright.
:'''Annie:''' They're all to journalists.
:'''Bernard:''' Fine. I suppose licking is an essential part of relationships with the press.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Discussing possible reasons for the Prime Minister's early retirement]''
:'''Bernard:''' Minister, I've heard something quite different.
:'''Hacker:''' What?
:'''Bernard:''' That there is £1 million worth of diamonds from South Africa in a Downing Street safe, but of course it's only a rumour.
:'''Hacker:''' Is that true?
:'''Bernard:''' Oh, yes.
:'''Hacker:''' So, there ARE all those diamonds in Downing Street!
:'''Bernard:''' Are there?
:'''Hacker:''' You just said there were.
:'''Bernard:''' No, I didn't.
:'''Hacker:''' Yes, you did! You said you'd heard this rumour, I said is it true, you said yes!
:'''Bernard:''' I said yes, it was true that it was a rumour.
:'''Hacker:''' You said you heard it was true!
:'''Bernard:''' No, I said it was true that I heard it!
:'''Annie:''' I'm sorry to cut into this important discussion, but do you believe it?
:'''Hacker:''' I believe I heard it. Oh, about the diamonds. No.
:'''Annie:''' Is it impossible?
:'''Hacker:''' No, but it's never been officially denied. First rule in politics: never believe anything until it's officially denied.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' How are things at the Campaign for the Freedom of Information, by the way?
:'''Sir Arnold:''' Sorry, I can't talk about that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Arnold:''' So, will our next Prime Minister be our eminent Chancellor or our distinguished Foreign Secretary?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' That's what I wanted to ask you, which do you think it should be?
:'''Sir Arnold:''' Hmmm.  Difficult, like asking which lunatic should run the asylum.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Arnold:''' Have you had a chance to glance at their MI5 files yet?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' No.
:'''Sir Arnold:''' You should always send for Cabinet Ministers' MI5 files, if you enjoy a good laugh.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Bernard, what would you say to your present master as the next Prime Minister?
:'''Bernard:''' The Minister?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Yes.
:'''Bernard:''' Mr Hacker?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Yes.
:'''Bernard:''' As Prime Minister?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Yes.
:''[Bernard checks his watch]''
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Are you in a hurry?
:'''Bernard:''' No; I'm just checking to see it wasn't [[w:April Fools' Day|April the First]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[Talking about his promotion]'' The relationship which I might tentatively venture to aver has been not without some degree of reciprocal utility and perhaps even occasional gratification, is approaching a point of irreversible bifurcation and, to be brief, is in the propinquity of its ultimate regrettable termination.
:'''Hacker''': ... I see.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I'm... on my way out.
:'''Hacker''': What?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': There comes a time when one has to accept what fate has in store. When one passes on.
:'''Hacker''': ''[horrified]'' ''Passes on''!?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': To pastures new, perhaps greener, and places oneself finally in the service of one who is greater than any of us.
:'''Hacker''': Humphrey... I'm so sorry.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh, thank you, Minister.
:'''Hacker''': Does Lady Appleby know?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, she's suspected it for some time, apparently.
:'''Hacker''': When did they tell you?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': This afternoon.
:'''Hacker''': How long did they give you?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh, just a few weeks...
:'''Hacker''': ''[horrified]'' ''A few weeks!?''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, it'll give me enough time to sort everything out.
:'''Hacker''': ''[his eyes filling with tears]'' Oh Humphrey, you're so terribly brave.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, one is a little anxious of course. One is always rather wary of the unknown, but I have faith somehow I'll muddle through.
:''[Hacker takes his handkerchief out of his pocket and begins to cry into it]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Minister, what is the matter?
:'''Hacker''': I am sorry, Humphrey. Just, well we had our ups and downs.
:''[Hacker looks up, aghast]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh Minister, do not take on so. We will still be seeing one another regularly. Yes, once a week at least.
:'''Hacker''': What??
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I have not told you where I am going yet. I have been appointed Secretary to the Cabinet.
:'''Hacker''': Secretary to the Cabinet?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': What did you think I meant?
:'''Hacker''': I thought, I..., I....
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hacker, Humphrey and Chief Whip Jeffery are talking about Hacker's campaign on Prime Ministership ]''
:'''Hacker''': But supposing somebody would say &quot;Does that mean you refuse to stand?&quot; You know how these media people try to trap you.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, Minister, it's not my place, but on previous occasions, a generally acceptable answer has been &quot;While one does not seek the office, one has pledged oneself to the service of one's country. And if one's friends were to persuade one that that was the best way one could serve, one might reluctantly have to accept the responsibility, whatever one's own private wishes might be.&quot;
:'''Hacker''': ''[taking notes]'' &quot;...private wishes might be.&quot; yes, I think I've got that.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jim Hacker and Maurice, the EEC Commissioner, are having a meeting to discuss the EEC plans to name British sausages 'emulsified high fat offal tubes':]''
:'''Hacker''': One of your officials pays farmers to produce surplus food, while on the same floor, the next office is paying them to destroy the surpluses.
:'''Maurice''': That is not true!
:'''Hacker''': No?
:'''Maurice''': He is not in the next office, not even on the same floor!

=Yes, Prime Minister=
==Series One (1986)==
===Episode One: The Grand Design===
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Open government, Prime Minister. Freedom of information. We should always tell the press freely and frankly ''anything'' that they could easily find out some other way.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[On pressing the nuclear button]''
:'''Hacker:''' Wouldn't anybody... argue with me?
:'''General Howard:''' Serving officers obey orders without question!
:'''Hacker:''' What if I were to get drunk?
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' On the whole, it would be safer if you didn't.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard''': Prime Minister, isn't conscription a courageous policy?
:'''Hacker:''' ''[panicking a bit]'' Courageous? Oh my God, ''is it?''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
:'''Hacker''': I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': But it's a deterrent.
:'''Hacker''': It's a bluff. I probably wouldn't use it.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, but they don't know that you probably wouldn't.
:'''Hacker''': They probably do.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, they probably know that you probably wouldn't. But they can't certainly know.
:'''Hacker''': They probably certainly know that I probably wouldn't.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, but even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn't, they don't certainly know that although you probably wouldn't, there is no probability that you certainly would!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Discussing Trident with General Sir Guy Howard]''
:'''General Howard:''' We don't need it. Complete waste of money. Totally unnecessary.
:'''Hacker:''' Well, that's what I said!
:'''General Howard:''' You're right.
:'''Hacker:''' And the whole defence staff agree?
:'''General Howard:''' No, the Navy want to keep it. It's launched from their submarines. Take away Trident, they'd hardly have a role left.
:'''Hacker:''' And the RAF?
:'''General Howard:''' Well, you could ask them if you're interested in the opinion of garage mechanics.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' If you walked into a nuclear missile showroom, you would buy Trident. It's lovely, it's elegant, it's beautiful – it's quite simply the best, and Britain should have the best. In the world of the nuclear missile, it is the Savile Row suit, the Rolls-Royce Corniche, the Château Lafite 1945. It is the nuclear missile Harrods would sell you. What more can I say?
:'''Hacker:''' Only that it costs fifteen billion pounds and we don't need it.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well, you could say that about anything at Harrods!

===Episode Two: The Ministerial Broadcast===
:'''Bernard''': But he's the Prime Minister!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Indeed he is, Bernard. He has his own car, a nice house in London, a place in the country, endless publicity and a pension for life. What more does he want?
:'''Bernard''': I think he wants to govern Britain.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, stop him, Bernard.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Bernard, what is the purpose of our defence policy?
:'''Bernard''': To defend Britain.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': No, Bernard. It is to make people believe Britain is defended.
:'''Bernard''': The Russians?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Not the Russians, the British! The Russians know it's not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Godfrey''': Will you be wearing those glasses?
:'''Hacker''': Oh, well, what do you think?
:'''Godfrey''': Well, it's up to you, obviously. With them on, you look authoritative and commanding; with them off, you look honest and open. Which do you want?
:'''Hacker''': Well, really, I want to look authoritative ''and'' honest.
:'''Godfrey''': It's one or the other, really.
:'''Hacker''': What about starting with them off, and then just putting them on when I talk?
:'''Godfrey''': That just looks indecisive.
:'''Hacker''': I see.
:'''Bernard''': What about a [[w:Monocle|monocle]]?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': ''[reading a speech written for him]'' &quot;We shall of course be reviewing a wide range of options over the whole field of government expenditures.&quot; Bernard, this doesn't say anything.
:'''Bernard''': Oh, thank you, Prime Minister.
:'''Hacker''': It's completely lacking impact.
:'''Bernard''': You're too kind, Prime Minster.

===Episode Three: The Smoke Screen===
:'''Permanent Secretary for Health:''' It would be different if the Government were a team, but in fact they're a loose confederation of warring tribes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker:''' The statistics are irrefutable...
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Statistics? You can prove anything with statistics.
:'''Hacker:'''  Even the truth.
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Yes... No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey:''' Notwithstanding the fact that your proposal could conceivably encompass certain concomitant benefits of a marginal and peripheral [[relevance]], there is a countervailing consideration of infinitely superior magnitude involving your personal complicity and corroborative malfeasance, with a consequence that the taint and stigma of your former associations and diversions could irredeemably and irretrievably invalidate your position and culminate in public revelations and recriminations of a profoundly embarrassing and ultimately indefensible character.
:'''Hacker:''' Perhaps I can have a précis of that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker:''' He’s got to learn to come to heel. He’s got to learn to 'co-operate'.
:'''Bernard:''' What do you mean 'co-operate'?
:'''Hacker:''' I mean obey my commands! That's what 'co-operate' means when you're Prime Minister.
:'''...'''
:'''Bernard:''' Sir Humphrey's waiting to see you outside.
:'''Hacker:''' Send him in, at once!
:'''Bernard:''' Yes, Prime Minister. Your word is my 'co-operation'.

===Episode Four: The Key===
:''[Sir Humphrey is not happy that Hacker has decided to move Dorothy Wainwright back into her old office, which was turned into a waiting room on Sir Humphrey's orders while she was away on holiday.]''&lt;/br&gt;
:'''Jim Hacker''': People can wait in the lobby or in the state rooms.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Some people, but some people must wait where other people cannot see the people who are waiting; and people who arrive before other people must wait where they cannot see the people who arrive after them being admitted before them; and people who come in from outside must wait where they cannot see the people from inside coming in to tell you what the people from outside have come to see you about; and people who arrive when you are with people they are not supposed to know you have seen must wait somewhere until the people who are not supposed to have seen you have seen you.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jim is trying to explain to Dorothy why he's changed his mind about moving her back to her old office]''&lt;/br&gt;
:'''Jim Hacker''': ...That is, if people saw people coming, before people saw them seeing people, people would see people! The whole ship would go off the rails - you see?
:'''Dorothy Wainwright''': Did you work all that out for yourself?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sir Humphrey is not happy that Bernard has deprived him of his key to Number 10]''&lt;/br&gt;
:'''Bernard''': Well, I believe it's the Prime Minister's decision who comes into his house. After all, I don't give my mother-in-law the key to ''my'' house.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[furiously]'' I am '''not''' the Prime Minister's mother-in-law, Bernard!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jim Hacker''': But me no buts, Bernard. Shakespeare.
:'''Bernard''': Oh no, Prime Minister. &quot;But me no buts&quot; is circa 1820. Mrs. Centlivre used the phrase in 1708, but actually it was Scott's employment of it in ''The Antiquary'' in 1816 which made it fashionable.
:'''Jim Hacker''': Shall we keep to the point please, Bernard?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jim Hacker''': I wanted to sound you out about something.
:'''Sir Frank Gordon''': Of course, Prime Minister.
:'''Jim Hacker''': It's about Humphrey. I wonder if he hasn't got rather too much on his plate.
:'''Sir Frank Gordon''': Oh I'm sure he can manage. Tremendously able.
:'''Jim Hacker''': You don't think he is overstretched?
:'''Sir Frank Gordon''': Oh no, got it all under control. No problem there.
:'''Jim Hacker''': I see, because I was wondering, speculating of course, about his position as the head of the civil service.
:'''Sir Frank Gordon''': Ah...
:'''Jim Hacker''': It could make some sense if everything were to be transferred to the Treasury if you think you could do part of Humphrey's job.
:'''Sir Frank Gordon''': Oh... Yes, that could make a lot of sense.
:'''Jim Hacker''': But if as you say he's not overstretched...
:'''Sir Frank Gordon''': Ah, when I say not 'overstretched', I was of course talking in the sense of total cumulative loading taken globally, rather than in respect of certain individual and essentially anomalous responsibilities which are not, logically speaking, consonant or harmonious with the broad spectrum of intermeshing and inseparable functions and could indeed be said to place an excessive and supererogatory burden on the office when considered in relation to the comparatively exiguous advantages of their overall centralization. 
:'''Jim Hacker''': You could do part of Humphrey's job!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Prime Minister, I must protest in the strongest possible terms my profound opposition to the newly instituted practice which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions upon the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy and will, in all probability, should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a  constriction of the channels of communication, and culminate in a condition of organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis, which will render effectively impossible the coherent and co-ordinated discharge of the function of government within Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland!
:'''Hacker''': You mean you've lost your key?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The PM is considering taking the joint headship of the civil service away from Humphrey and making Frank the full head]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh, Frank.
:'''Sir Frank Gordon''': Yes?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Good meeting with the PM?
:'''Sir Frank''': Yes, very good.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Good. Any particular subject come up?
:'''Sir Frank''': Any particular subject you're interested in?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': No, not particularly. He didn't raise the issue of service appointments and so on?
:'''Sir Frank''': It may have cropped up.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Did he foreshadow any redistribution of responsibility?
:'''Sir Frank''': Shall we say it was a wide-ranging discussion.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Did it move towards any conclusion?
:'''Sir Frank''': There were arguments on both sides.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Evenly balanced?
:'''Sir Frank''': Perhaps tending slightly more one way than the other.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': But nothing to worry about?
:'''Sir Frank''': Nothing for ''me'' to worry about. See you this afternoon.

===Episode Five: A Real Partnership===
:''[Hacker has just had a stormy cabinet meeting over a sudden financial crisis.]''
:'''Hacker''': Bernard, Humphrey should have seen this coming and warned me.
:'''Bernard''': I don't think Sir Humphrey understands economics, Prime Minister; he did read [[w:Classics|Classics]], you know.
:'''Hacker''': What about Sir Frank? He's head of the Treasury!
:'''Bernard''': Well I'm afraid he's at an even greater disadvantage in understanding economics: he's an economist.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hacker complains about the MP deputation came to him to ask for a pay rise.]''
:'''Annie''': But aren't they underpaid in fact?
:'''Hacker''': Underpaid? Backbench MPs, Darling? Being an MP is a vast subsidised ego trip. It's a job for which you need no qualifications, no compulsory hours of work, no performance standards. A warm room and subsidised meals for a bunch of self-opinionated windbags and busybodies who suddenly find people taking them seriously because they got letters &quot;MP&quot; after their names. How can they be underpaid when there're about two hundred applicants for every vacancy? You could fill every seat twenty times over even if they have to pay to do the job.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hacker asks Humphrey about the sudden financial crisis.]''
:'''Hacker''': Why the sudden crisis? The Treasury must've seen it coming.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Prime Minister, I'm not the Permanent Secretary to the Treasury. You must ask Sir Frank. 
:'''Hacker''': What would Sir Frank say?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It is not for a humble mortal such as I to speculate on the complex and elevated deliberations of the mighty. But in general, I think Sir Frank believes that if the Treasury knows something has to be done, the Cabinet shouldn't have too much time to think about it.
:'''Hacker''': But that's an outrageous view!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, indeed. It's known as Treasury policy.
:'''Hacker''': Suppose the Cabinet has questions?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well I think Sir Frank's view is that on the rare occasions when the Treasury understands the questions, the Cabinet doesn't understand the answers.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Real reductions in the size of the Service?! It'd be the end of civilisation as we know it!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bernard is trying to tell Sir Humphrey about a confidential conversation.]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': You're speaking in riddles, Bernard.
:'''Bernard''': Oh, thank you, Sir Humphrey.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': That was '''not''' a compliment, Bernard!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hacker is discussing Humphrey's two responsibilities.]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It's so difficult for me, you see, as I'm wearing two hats.
:'''Hacker''': Yes, isn't that rather awkward for you?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Not if one is in two minds.
:'''Bernard''': Or has two faces.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': If there were a conflict of interests which side would the civil service really be on?
:'''Bernard''': The winning side, Prime Minister.

===Episode Six: A Victory for Democracy===
:'''Hacker''': I gather we're planning to vote against Israel in the UN tonight.
:'''Foreign Secretary''': Of course.
:'''Hacker''': Why?
:'''Foreign Secretary''': They bombed the PLO.
:'''Hacker''': But the PLO bombed Israel!
:'''Foreign Secretary''': Yes, but the Israelis dropped more bombs than the PLO did.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bernard pulls the Prime Minister away from Luke for a private conversation.]''
:'''Hacker''': You just said that the Foreign Office was keeping something from me! How do you know if you don't know?
:'''Bernard''': I don't know specifically what, Prime Minister, but I do know that the Foreign Office always keep everything from everybody. It's normal practice.
:'''Hacker''': Who does know?
:'''Bernard''': May I just clarify the question? You are asking who would know what it is that I don't know and you don't know but the Foreign Office know that they know that they are keeping from you so that you don't know but they do know and all we know there is something we don't know and we want to know but we don't know what because we don't know! Is that it?
:'''Hacker''': May ''I'' clarify the question: Who knows Foreign Office secrets, apart from the Foreign Office?
:'''Bernard''': Oh, that's easy: only the [[w:Kremlin|Kremlin]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hacker has just requested a goodwill visit to St George's Island.]''
:'''Hacker''': He [the defence secretary] seemed to think 800 fully armed paratroopers was an awful lot to send on a goodwill visit.
:'''Israeli Ambassador''': No, it is just an awful lot of goodwill!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Oh, this is nice. The Americans are delighted by our little visit to St. George's Island. That's good, isn't it?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[resigned]'' Excellent.
:'''Hacker''': They say they have got a whole airborne division ready if we want reinforcements.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[sharply]'' Reinforcements of what?
:'''Hacker''': Reinforcements of ''goodwill'', Humphrey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard Woolley''': What if the Prime Minister insists we help them?
:'''Sir Humphrey Appleby''': Then we follow the four-stage strategy.
:'''Bernard Woolley''': What's that?
:'''Sir Richard Wharton''': Standard Foreign Office response in a time of crisis.
:'''Sir Richard Wharton''': In stage one we say nothing is going to happen.
:'''Sir Humphrey Appleby''': Stage two, we say something may be about to happen, but we should do nothing about it.
:'''Sir Richard Wharton''': In stage three, we say that maybe we should do something about it, but there's nothing we *can* do.
:'''Sir Humphrey Appleby''': Stage four, we say maybe there was something we could have done, but it's too late now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard Woolley''': What if he demands options?
:'''Sir Humphrey Appleby''': Well, it's obvious, Bernard. The Foreign Office will happily present him with three options, two of which are, on close inspection, exactly the same.
:'''Sir Richard Wharton''': Plus a third which is totally unacceptable.
:'''Sir Humphrey Appleby''': Like bombing Warsaw or invading France.

===Episode Seven: The Bishop's Gambit===
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Bishops tend to have long lives. Apparently the Lord isn't all that keen to let them join him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Man''': In such an awful country, they cut people's hands off and women get stoned when they commit adultery. 
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Unlike Britain, where they commit adultery when they get stoned.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peter Harding''': Soames has been waiting for a [[w:diocese|bishopric]] for years.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Long time, no [[w:Episcopal see|see]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard''': It's one of those [[w:Irregular verb|irregular verbs]], isn't it: I have an independent mind; you are an eccentric; he is round the twist.

===Episode Eight: One of Us===
:''[Sir Humphrey is suspected of having once been a Russian spy.]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': So what do you think I should do, Arnold?
:'''Sir Arnold Robinson:''' ''[calmly pours his coffee]'' Hmm, difficult. Depends a bit on whether you actually ''were'' spying or not. ''[notices Sir Humphrey's horrified expression]'' One must keep an open mind.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': But I couldn't have been! I wasn't ''at'' [[w:Cambridge Five|Cambridge]]!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Arnold''': If once they accepted the principle that senior Civil Servants could be removed for incompetence, that would be the thin end of the wedge. We could lose dozens of our chaps. Hundreds, perhaps.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Thousands.

==Series Two (1987-88)==
===Episode One: Man Overboard===
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It is characteristic of all committee discussions and decisions that every member has a vivid recollection of them and that every member’s recollection of them differs violently from every other member’s recollection. Consequently, we accept the convention that the official decisions are those and only those which have been officially recorded in the minutes by the officials, from which it emerges with an elegant inevitability that any decision which has been officially reached will have been officially recorded in the minutes by the officials and any decision which is not recorded in the minutes has not been officially reached even if one or more members believe they can recollect it, so in this particular case, if the decision had been officially reached it would have been officially recorded in the minutes by the officials, and it isn’t, so it wasn’t.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard''': That's another of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I give confidential press briefings; you leak; he's being charged under section 2A of the [[w:Official Secrets Act|Official Secrets Act]].

===Episode Two: Official Secrets===
:''[Lunch with a newspaper editor]''
:'''Hacker''': So I want you to retract that suppression story.
:'''Derek Burnham''': I don't see how I can.
:'''Hacker''': Well, of course you can! You're the editor, aren't you?
:'''Burnham''': Yes, but an editor isn't like a general commanding an army; he's just the ringmaster of a circus. I mean I can book the acts, but I can't tell the acrobats which way to jump!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Gratitude is merely a lively expectation of favours to come.
:: Reference to [[François de La Rochefoucauld]]

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': What I remember is irrelevant, Bernard. If the minutes don't say that he did, then he didn't. 
:'''Bernard''': So you want me to falsify the minutes?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I want nothing of the sort! It's up to you, Bernard - what do you want?
:'''Bernard''': I want to have a clear conscience.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': A clear conscience?
:'''Bernard''': Yes!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': When did you acquire this taste for luxuries?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': You choose from a jumble of ill-digested ideas a version which represents the Prime Minister's views as he would, on reflection, have liked them to emerge.
:'''Bernard''': But if it's not a true record...
:'''Sir Humphrey''': The purpose of minutes is not to record events, it is to protect people. You do not take notes if the Prime Minister says something he did not mean to say, particularly if it contradicts something he has said publicly.

===Episode Three: A Diplomatic Incident===
:'''Hacker''': Don't we ever get our own way with the French?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Well, sometimes.
:'''Hacker''': When was the last time?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': [[w:Battle of Waterloo|Battle of Waterloo]], 1815.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard''': ''[on the phone]'' Yes, we will want simultaneous translators. No, not when the PM meets the leaders of the English-speaking nations. Yes, the English-speaking nations can be said to include the [[w:United States|United States]]. With a certain generosity of spirit.
'''Bernard:''' [on the phone] No we can’t have alphabetical sitting in the Abbey, you would have Iran and Iraq sitting together, plus Jordan and Israel all in the same pew, we would be in danger of starting World War Three. No! I know Ireland begins with an I but No! Ireland doesn’t make it any better, Ireland doesn’t make anything any better.

===Episode Four: A Conflict of Interest===
:'''Sir Humphrey''': The only way to understand the Press is to remember that they pander to their readers' prejudices.
:'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the press. I know ''exactly'' who reads the papers: The ''[[w:Daily Mirror|Daily Mirror]]'' is read by people who think they run the country; ''[[w:The Guardian|The Guardian]]'' is read by people who think they ''ought'' to run the country; ''[[w:The Times|The Times]]'' is read by the people who actually ''do'' run the country; The ''[[w:Daily Mail|Daily Mail]]'' is read by the ''wives'' of the people who run the country; The ''[[w:Financial Times|Financial Times]]'' is read by people who ''own'' the country; ''[[w:The Morning Star|The Morning Star]]'' is read by people who think the country ought to be run by ''another'' country; and ''[[w:The Daily Telegraph|The Daily Telegraph]]'' is read by people who think it ''is''.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh and Prime Minister, what about the people who read ''[[w:The Sun (newspaper)|The Sun]]''?
:'''Bernard''': ''Sun'' readers don't care who runs the country as long as she's got [[w:Page 3|big tits]].

===Episode Five: Power to the People===
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Bernard, if the right people don’t have power, do you know what happens?  The wrong people get it: politicians, councillors, ''ordinary voters''!
:'''Bernard''': But aren’t they supposed to, in a democracy?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': This is a ''British'' democracy, Bernard!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sir Humphrey''': To put it simply, Prime Minister, certain informal discussions took place involving a full and frank exchange of views out of which there arose a series of proposals, which on examination proved to indicate certain promising lines of inquiry, which, when pursued, lead to the realization that the alternative courses of action might, in fact, in certain circumstances, be susceptible of discreet modification, leading to a reappraisal of the original areas of difference and pointing the way to encouraging possibilities of compromise and cooperation, which, if bilaterally implemented with appropriate give and take on both sides might, if the climate were right, have a reasonable probability at the end of the day of leading, rightly or wrongly, to a mutually satisfactory resolution.
:'''Hacker''': What the hell are you talking about?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': We did a deal.

===Episode Six: The Patron of the Arts===
:'''Bernard''': If there was a major crisis, you wouldn't need to go at all.
:'''Hacker''': Is there a major crisis coming up?
:'''Bill''': Not really, Prime Minister.
:'''Hacker''': Is there a distant crisis, that we could bring forward?
...
:'''Bernard''': I know, what about the death of a cabinet colleague?
:'''Hacker''': Ooh, is one imminent?
...
:'''Bill''': Well we can hardly hope for that to fall on the right day. Well, not by accident.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Sir Humphrey, I need help.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': You do. You do?
:'''Hacker''': I've got to make a speech. It could be very embarrassing.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Oh Prime Minister, your speeches are nothing like as embarrassing as they used to be!
:'''Hacker''': I didn't say the speech would be embarrassing, Sir Humphrey. I said the occasion could be.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Ah, yes, yes, indeed. Why?
:'''Hacker''': It's to be to a hostile audience of posturing, self-righteous, theatrical drunks.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': The House of Commons, you mean?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bill''': There's a lot of terrible publicity if you take [arts money] away. The arts lobby is part of the educated middle class. It's one of the few ways they can get their income tax back. Mortgage tax relief, university grants, lump-sum pensions, Radio 3, and cheap subsidised seats at the theatre, opera and the concerts. You can't begrudge it us... them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': They do some good.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': They don't, Prime Minister! They hardly do anything at all.
:'''Hacker''': Well let's abolish them!
:'''Sir Humphrey''': No, no, no, no!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Well of course we'll do what we can, but there are many calls on the public purse, you know. Inner cities, schools, hospitals, kidney machines...
:'''Ladies''': Tanks, rockets, H-bombs.
:'''Hacker''': Well we can't really defend ourselves against the Russians with a performance of &quot;[[Henry V (play)|Henry V]]&quot;.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Dorothy, you've got to help me. This is a real hot potato. If I don't do anything, it could turn into a banana skin.
:'''Bernard''': Prime Minister, a hot potato can't become a banana skin.
:'''Hacker''': What?
:'''Bernard''': Well if you don't do anything, a hot potato just becomes a cold potato.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Nobody would be able to call me a philistine then!
:'''Dorothy''': Not unless they knew you.

===Episode Seven: The National Education Service===
:'''Bernard''': Sir Humphrey, he's very worried that he seems responsible for something that he can't change.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Yes, I'm sure.  Responsibility without power: the prerogative of the eunuch throughout the ages.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': I think education is extremely important. It could lose me the next election.
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Ah! In my naivety, I thought you were concerned about the future of our children.
:'''Hacker''': Yes, that too. After all, they get the vote at 18.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hacker''': Better than Channel 4 coverage. They didn't describe it as the PM's tour of the north-west. They said, 'Jim Hacker touring the marginal constituencies.'
:'''Annie''': That's true, isn't it?
:'''Hacker''': But they shouldn't say it. It's biased reporting!
:'''Annie''': Reporting the facts?
:'''Hacker''': Nothing wrong with visiting the marginals.
:'''Annie''': What they said was still true.
:'''Hacker''': It was still biased to say it!

===Episode Eight: The Tangled Web===
:''[The Prime Minister believes that he gave a clear, simple, straightforward and honest answer.]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''': Unfortunately, although the answer was indeed clear, simple, and straightforward, there is some difficulty in justifiably assigning to it the fourth of the epithets you applied to the statement, inasmuch as the precise correlation between the information you communicated and the facts, insofar as they can be determined and demonstrated, is such as to cause epistemological problems, of sufficient magnitude as to lay upon the logical and semantic resources of the English language a heavier burden than they can reasonably be expected to bear.
:'''Hacker''': Epistemological — what are you talking about?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': You told a lie.
:'''Hacker''': A lie?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': A lie.
:'''Hacker''': What do you mean, a lie?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': I mean you… lied. Yes, I know this is a difficult concept to get across to a politician. You… ah yes, you did not tell the truth.
:'''Hacker''': You mean we are bugging Hugh Halifax's telephones?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': We were.
:'''Hacker''': We ''were''? When did we stop?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': ''[checks his watch]'' Seventeen minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernard''': The fact that you needed to know was not known at the time that the now known need to know was known, and therefore those that needed to advise and inform the [[w:Home Secretary|Home Secretary]] perhaps felt that the information that he needed as to whether to inform the highest authority of the known information was not yet known, and therefore there was no authority for the authority to be informed because the need to know was not, at that time, known or needed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sir Humphrey has been accidentally recorded making off-the-cuff derogatory remarks about the unemployed in a radio interview, but the master tape of the interview has fallen into Hacker's hands]''
:'''Sir Humphrey''' : ''[on tape]'' ...you could get them off the register as soon as you could say 'parasite'.  This country could have as much unemployment as it's prepared to pay for in social security, and no politicians have got the guts to do anything about it! ''[Bernard stops the tape]''
:'''Hacker''': You said that!?
:'''Sir Humphrey''': It was Mike Yarwood...

=See also=
* [[Yes, Prime Minister (2013)]]
* [[Television shows]]

=External links=
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0080306|title=Yes, Minister}}
* {{imdb title|id=0086831|title=Yes, Prime Minister}}
* [http://www.yes-minister.com/ The Yes (Prime) Minister Files]
* [http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/articles/y/yesminister_7777145.shtml BBC Guide to Yes Minister]

[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:BBC shows]]
[[Category:UK workplace comedy TV shows]]
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    <title>Dead Poets Society</title>
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'''''[[w:Dead Poets Society|Dead Poets Society]]''''' is a [[w:1989 in film|1989 film]], set in 1959, that tells the story of English professor John Keating, who inspires his students at Welton Academy to a love of poetry and teaches them to overcome their reluctance to make changes in their lives.
:''Directed by [[Peter Weir]]. Written by [[w:Tom Schulman|Tom Schulman]].''
{{center|'''He was their inspiration. He made their lives extraordinary.'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== John Keating ==
* We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from [[Walt Whitman|Whitman]], &quot;O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill'd with the foolish…what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here—that life exists, and identity, that the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.&quot; ''That the powerful play goes on'', and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

* When you read, don't just consider what the author thinks, consider what ''you'' think.

* There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.

* No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.

* They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, '''carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary'''.
**''Note: bolded portion is ranked #95 in the [[w:AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movie Quotes|American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations]] in American cinema.''

* Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, &quot;Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.&quot; Don't be resigned to that. Break out! Break out! Now is the time!

* ''[Last words of film]'' Thank you, boys. Thank you.

== Headmaster Dean Nolan ==
* ''[at Neil's ceremony]'' The death of Neil Perry is a tragedy. He was a fine student. One of Welton's best. And he will be missed. We've contacted each of your parents to explain the situation. Naturally, they're all quite concerned. At the request of Neil's family, I intend to conduct a thorough inquiry into this matter. Your cooperation is expected.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Keating''': &quot;Seize the day. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.&quot; Why does the writer use these lines?
:'''Charlie''': Because he's in a hurry.
:'''Keating''': No. Ding! Thank you for playing anyway. Because we are food for [[worms]], lads. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold and die.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keating''': Language was developed for one endeavor, and that is - Mr. Anderson? Come on, are you a man or an amoeba? ''[pause]'' Mr. Perry?
:'''Neil''': To communicate.
:'''Keating''': No! To woo women!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Charlie Dalton''': Welton Academy. Hello? Yes, he is. Just a moment. Mr. Nolan, it's for you. It's God. He says we should have girls at Welton.
:''[Later, when Keating is admonishing the boys that the Dead Poets Society is not a license for lawbreaking]''
:'''Keating''': Phone call from God. If it had been collect, that would have been daring!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''McAllister''': You take a big risk by encouraging them to be artists, John. When they realize they're not Rembrandts, Shakespeares or Mozarts, they'll hate you for it.
:'''Keating''': We're not talking artists, George, we're talking freethinkers.
:'''McAllister''': Freethinkers at seventeen?
:'''Keating''': Funny — I never pegged you as a cynic.
:'''McAllister''': Not a cynic, a realist. &quot;Show me the heart unfettered by foolish dreams, and I'll show you a happy man.&quot;
:'''Keating''': &quot;But only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be.&quot;
:'''McAllister''': Tennyson?
:'''Keating''': No, Keating.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Keating stands on his desk]''
:'''Keating''': Why do I stand up here? Anybody?
:'''Dalton''': To feel taller!
:'''Keating''': No! ''[Dings a bell with his foot]'' Thank you for playing Mr. Dalton. I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Keating''': The picture of Uncle Walt up there. What does he remind you of? Don't think. Answer. Go on.
:''[Keating begins to circle around Todd]''
:'''Todd''': A m-m-madman.
:'''Keating''': What kind of madman? Don't think about it. Just answer again.
:'''Todd''': A c-crazy madman.
:'''Keating''': No, you can do better than that. Free up your mind. Use your imagination. Say the first thing that pops into your head, even if it's total gibberish. Go on, go on.
:'''Todd''': Uh, uh, a sweaty-toothed madman.
:'''Keating''': Good God, boy, there's a poet in you, after all. There, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close 'em. Now, describe what you see.
:''[Keating puts his hands over Todd's eyes and they begin to slowly spin around]''
:'''Todd''': Uh, I-I close my eyes.
:'''Keating''': Yes? 
:'''Todd''' Uh, and this image floats beside me.
:'''Keating''':	A sweaty-toothed madman?
:'''Todd''': A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain.
:'''Keating''': Oh, that's excellent. Now, give him action. Make him do something.
:'''Todd''': H-His hands reach out and choke me.
:'''Keating''': That's it. Wonderful. Wonderful.
:''[Keating removes his hands from Todd but Todd keeps his eyes closed]''
:'''Todd''': And, and all the time he's mumbling.
:'''Keating''': What's he mumbling?
:'''Todd''': M-Mumbling, &quot;Truth. Truth is like, like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold.&quot;
:''[The students begin to laugh and Todd opens his eyes. Keating quickly gestures for him to close them again]''
:'''Keating''': Forget them, forget them. Stay with the blanket. Tell me about that blanket.
:'''Todd''': Y-Y-Y-You push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough. You kick at it, beat it, it'll never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream.
:''[Todd opens his eyes. The class is silent. Then they applaud Todd's impressive delivery.]''
:'''Keating''': ''[whispering to Todd]'' Don't you forget this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Neil Perry''': I just talked to my father. He's making me quit the play at Henley Hall. Acting's everything to me. I- But he doesn't know! He- I can see his point; we're not a rich family, like Charlie's. We- But he's planning the rest of my life for me, and I- He's never asked me what I want!
:'''John Keating''': Have you ever told your father what you just told me? About your passion for acting? You ever showed him that?
:'''Neil Perry''': I can't.
:'''John Keating''': Why not?
:'''Neil Perry''': I can't talk to him this way.
:'''John Keating''': Then you're acting for him, too. You're playing the part of the dutiful son. Now, I know this sounds impossible, but you have to talk to him. You have to show him who you are, what your heart is.
:'''Neil Perry''': I know what he'll say. He'll tell me that acting's a whim and I should forget it. They're counting on me; he'll just tell me to put it out of my mind for my own good.
:'''John Keating''': You are not an indentured servant. It's not a whim for you. You prove it to him by your conviction and your passion. You show that to him, and if he still doesn't believe you - well, by then, you'll be out of school and can do anything you want.
:'''Neil Perry''': No. What about the play? The show's tomorrow night!
:'''John Keating''': Then you have to talk to him before tomorrow night.
:'''Neil Perry''': Isn't there an easier way?
:'''John Keating''': No.
:'''Neil Perry''': ''[laughs]'' I'm trapped!
:'''John Keating''': No you're not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Neil reads from Henry David Thoreau's ''Walden'']''
:'''Neil''': &quot;I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die discover that I had not lived.&quot;
:'''Dalton''': I'll second that.
:'''Neil''': &quot;To put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Neil's father has just driven him home from his performance in ''A Midsummer Night's Dream'']''
:'''Mr. Perry''': We're trying very hard to understand why it is that you insist on defying us. Whatever the reason, we're not gonna let you ruin your life. Tomorrow I'm withdrawing you from Welton and enrolling you in Braighton Military School. You're going to Harvard, and you're gonna be a doctor.
: '''Neil''': But, that's ten more years! Father, that's a ''lifetime!''
:'''Mr. Perry''': Oh, stop it! Don't be so dramatic! You make it sound like a prison term! You don't understand, Neil! You have opportunities that I never even dreamt of, and I am not going to let you waste them!
:'''Neil''': I've got to tell you what I feel!
:'''Mrs. Perry''': We've been so worried about you!
:'''Mr. Perry''': ''What?'' What? Tell me what you feel! What is it? Is it more of this, this ''acting'' business? Because you can forget that! What?
:'''Neil''': ''[pauses]'' Nothing.
:'''Mr. Perry''': ''[pauses]'' Nothing? Well, then, let's go to bed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cameron''': What's going on, guys?
:'''Charlie''': You finked, didn't you, Cameron?
:'''Cameron''': Finked? I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
:'''Charlie''': You told Nolan about everything about that club is what I'm talking about!
:'''Cameron''': Look, in case you hadn't heard, Dalton, there's something called an honor code at this school, alright?! If a teacher asks you a question, you tell the truth, or you're expelled.
:''(Outraged, Charlie bolts towards Cameron to attack him, but the others hold him back.)''
:'''Charlie''': He's a rat! He's in it up to his eyes, so he rattled to save himself!
:'''Knox''': Don't touch him, Charlie. You do, and you're out.
:'''Charlie''': I'm out anyway!
:'''Knox''': You don't know that, not yet.
:'''Cameron''': He's right there, Charlie. And if you guys are smart, you will do EXACTLY what I did and cooperate! They're not after ''us!'' ''We're'' the victims! Us and Neil.
:'''Charlie''': What's that mean? Who are they after?
:'''Cameron''': Why, Mr. Keating, of course! The &quot;Captain&quot; himself! I mean, you guys didn't really think he could avoid responsibility, did you?
:'''Charlie''': Mr. Keating responsible for Neil? Is that what they're saying?
:'''Cameron''': Well, who else do you think, dumbass?! The administration?! Mr. Perry?! I mean, Mr. Keating put us up to all this crap, didn't he?! If it wasn't for Mr. Keating, Neil would be cozying up in his room right now, studying his chemistry, and dreaming of being called doctor!
:'''Todd''': That is not true, Cameron! You know that! He didn't put us up to anything! And Neil loved acting!
:'''Cameron''': Believe what you want, but I say let Keating fry! I mean, why ruin our lives?!
:''(Charlie, out of rage, slugs Cameron. The others restrain him again.)''
:'''Cameron''': You've just signed your expulsion papers, &quot;Nuwanda&quot;! And if the rest of you were smart, you'll do exactly what I did! They know everything anyway. You can't save Keating, but you can save yourselves.

== Taglines ==
* He was their inspiration. He made their lives extraordinary.

==Cast==
*[[Robin Williams]] — John Keating
*[[w:Robert Sean Leonard|Robert Sean Leonard]] — Neil Perry
*[[Ethan Hawke]] — Todd Anderson
*[[w:Josh Charles|Josh Charles]] — Knox Overstreet
*[[w:Gale Hansen|Gale Hansen]] — Charlie Dalton
*[[w:Norman Lloyd|Norman Lloyd]] — Headmaster Dean Nolan
*[[w:Kurtwood Smith|Kurtwood Smith]] — Mr. Perry
*[[w:Dylan Kussman|Dylan Kussman]] — Richard Cameron
*Allelon Ruggiero — Steven Meeks
*[[w:Alexandra Powers|Alexandra Powers]] — Chris Noel

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0097165|title=Dead Poets Society}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=dead_poets_society|title=Dead Poets Society}}
*http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/dead_poets_final.html

[[Category:1989 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Coming-of-age films]]
[[Category:Teen drama films]]
[[Category:Peter Weir films]]
[[Category:High school films]]
[[Category:Films set in Vermont]]
[[Category:Films about suicide]]</text>
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        <ip>2604:2D80:9490:6500:1430:14FC:7D32:287</ip>
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'''''[[w:Dead Poets Society|Dead Poets Society]]''''' is a [[w:1989 in film|1989 film]], set in 1959, that tells the story of English professor John Keating, who inspires his students at Welton Academy to a love of poetry and teaches them to overcome their reluctance to make changes in their lives.
:''Directed by [[Peter Weir]]. Written by [[w:Tom Schulman|Tom Schulman]].''
{{center|'''He was their inspiration. He made their lives extraordinary.'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== John Keating ==
* We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from [[Walt Whitman|Whitman]], &quot;O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill'd with the foolish…what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here—that life exists, and identity, that the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.&quot; ''That the powerful play goes on'', and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

* When you read, don't just consider what the author thinks, consider what ''you'' think.

* There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.

* No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.

* They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, '''carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary'''.
**''Note: bolded portion is ranked #95 in the [[w:AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movie Quotes|American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations]] in American cinema.''

* Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, &quot;Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.&quot; Don't be resigned to that. Break out! Break out! Now is the time!

* ''[Last words of film]'' Thank you, boys. Thank you.

== Headmaster Dean Nolan ==
* ''[at Neil's ceremony]'' The death of Neil Perry is a tragedy. He was a fine student. One of Welton's best. And he will be missed. We've contacted each of your parents to explain the situation. Naturally, they're all quite concerned. At the request of Neil's family, I intend to conduct a thorough inquiry into this matter. Your cooperation is expected.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Keating''': &quot;Seize the day. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.&quot; Why does the writer use these lines?
:'''Charlie''': Because he's in a hurry.
:'''Keating''': No. Ding! Thank you for playing anyway. Because we are food for [[worms]], lads. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold and die.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keating''': Language was developed for one endeavor, and that is - Mr. Anderson? Come on, are you a man or an amoeba? ''[pause]'' Mr. Perry?
:'''Neil''': To communicate.
:'''Keating''': No! To woo women!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Charlie Dalton''': Welton Academy. Hello? Yes, he is. Just a moment. Mr. Nolan, it's for you. It's God. He says we should have girls at Welton.
:''[Later, when Keating is admonishing the boys that the Dead Poets Society is not a license for lawbreaking]''
:'''Keating''': Phone call from God. If it had been collect, that would have been daring!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''McAllister''': You take a big risk by encouraging them to be artists, John. When they realize they're not Rembrandts, Shakespeares or Mozarts, they'll hate you for it.
:'''Keating''': We're not talking artists, George, we're talking freethinkers.
:'''McAllister''': Freethinkers at seventeen?
:'''Keating''': Funny — I never pegged you as a cynic.
:'''McAllister''': Not a cynic, a realist. &quot;Show me the heart unfettered by foolish dreams, and I'll show you a happy man.&quot;
:'''Keating''': &quot;But only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be.&quot;
:'''McAllister''': Tennyson?
:'''Keating''': No, Keating.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Keating stands on his desk]''
:'''Keating''': Why do I stand up here? Anybody?
:'''Charlie''': To feel taller!
:'''Keating''': No! ''[Dings a bell with his foot]'' Thank you for playing Mr. Dalton. I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Keating''': The picture of Uncle Walt up there. What does he remind you of? Don't think. Answer. Go on.
:''[Keating begins to circle around Todd]''
:'''Todd''': A m-m-madman.
:'''Keating''': What kind of madman? Don't think about it. Just answer again.
:'''Todd''': A c-crazy madman.
:'''Keating''': No, you can do better than that. Free up your mind. Use your imagination. Say the first thing that pops into your head, even if it's total gibberish. Go on, go on.
:'''Todd''': Uh, uh, a sweaty-toothed madman.
:'''Keating''': Good God, boy, there's a poet in you, after all. There, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close 'em. Now, describe what you see.
:''[Keating puts his hands over Todd's eyes and they begin to slowly spin around]''
:'''Todd''': Uh, I-I close my eyes.
:'''Keating''': Yes? 
:'''Todd''' Uh, and this image floats beside me.
:'''Keating''':	A sweaty-toothed madman?
:'''Todd''': A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain.
:'''Keating''': Oh, that's excellent. Now, give him action. Make him do something.
:'''Todd''': H-His hands reach out and choke me.
:'''Keating''': That's it. Wonderful. Wonderful.
:''[Keating removes his hands from Todd but Todd keeps his eyes closed]''
:'''Todd''': And, and all the time he's mumbling.
:'''Keating''': What's he mumbling?
:'''Todd''': M-Mumbling, &quot;Truth. Truth is like, like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold.&quot;
:''[The students begin to laugh and Todd opens his eyes. Keating quickly gestures for him to close them again]''
:'''Keating''': Forget them, forget them. Stay with the blanket. Tell me about that blanket.
:'''Todd''': Y-Y-Y-You push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough. You kick at it, beat it, it'll never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream.
:''[Todd opens his eyes. The class is silent. Then they applaud Todd's impressive delivery.]''
:'''Keating''': ''[whispering to Todd]'' Don't you forget this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Neil Perry''': I just talked to my father. He's making me quit the play at Henley Hall. Acting's everything to me. I- But he doesn't know! He- I can see his point; we're not a rich family, like Charlie's. We- But he's planning the rest of my life for me, and I- He's never asked me what I want!
:'''John Keating''': Have you ever told your father what you just told me? About your passion for acting? You ever showed him that?
:'''Neil Perry''': I can't.
:'''John Keating''': Why not?
:'''Neil Perry''': I can't talk to him this way.
:'''John Keating''': Then you're acting for him, too. You're playing the part of the dutiful son. Now, I know this sounds impossible, but you have to talk to him. You have to show him who you are, what your heart is.
:'''Neil Perry''': I know what he'll say. He'll tell me that acting's a whim and I should forget it. They're counting on me; he'll just tell me to put it out of my mind for my own good.
:'''John Keating''': You are not an indentured servant. It's not a whim for you. You prove it to him by your conviction and your passion. You show that to him, and if he still doesn't believe you - well, by then, you'll be out of school and can do anything you want.
:'''Neil Perry''': No. What about the play? The show's tomorrow night!
:'''John Keating''': Then you have to talk to him before tomorrow night.
:'''Neil Perry''': Isn't there an easier way?
:'''John Keating''': No.
:'''Neil Perry''': ''[laughs]'' I'm trapped!
:'''John Keating''': No you're not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Neil reads from Henry David Thoreau's ''Walden'']''
:'''Neil''': &quot;I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die discover that I had not lived.&quot;
:'''Dalton''': I'll second that.
:'''Neil''': &quot;To put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Neil's father has just driven him home from his performance in ''A Midsummer Night's Dream'']''
:'''Mr. Perry''': We're trying very hard to understand why it is that you insist on defying us. Whatever the reason, we're not gonna let you ruin your life. Tomorrow I'm withdrawing you from Welton and enrolling you in Braighton Military School. You're going to Harvard, and you're gonna be a doctor.
: '''Neil''': But, that's ten more years! Father, that's a ''lifetime!''
:'''Mr. Perry''': Oh, stop it! Don't be so dramatic! You make it sound like a prison term! You don't understand, Neil! You have opportunities that I never even dreamt of, and I am not going to let you waste them!
:'''Neil''': I've got to tell you what I feel!
:'''Mrs. Perry''': We've been so worried about you!
:'''Mr. Perry''': ''What?'' What? Tell me what you feel! What is it? Is it more of this, this ''acting'' business? Because you can forget that! What?
:'''Neil''': ''[pauses]'' Nothing.
:'''Mr. Perry''': ''[pauses]'' Nothing? Well, then, let's go to bed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cameron''': What's going on, guys?
:'''Charlie''': You finked, didn't you, Cameron?
:'''Cameron''': Finked? I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
:'''Charlie''': You told Nolan about everything about that club is what I'm talking about!
:'''Cameron''': Look, in case you hadn't heard, Dalton, there's something called an honor code at this school, alright?! If a teacher asks you a question, you tell the truth, or you're expelled.
:''(Outraged, Charlie bolts towards Cameron to attack him, but the others hold him back.)''
:'''Charlie''': He's a rat! He's in it up to his eyes, so he rattled to save himself!
:'''Knox''': Don't touch him, Charlie. You do, and you're out.
:'''Charlie''': I'm out anyway!
:'''Knox''': You don't know that, not yet.
:'''Cameron''': He's right there, Charlie. And if you guys are smart, you will do EXACTLY what I did and cooperate! They're not after ''us!'' ''We're'' the victims! Us and Neil.
:'''Charlie''': What's that mean? Who are they after?
:'''Cameron''': Why, Mr. Keating, of course! The &quot;Captain&quot; himself! I mean, you guys didn't really think he could avoid responsibility, did you?
:'''Charlie''': Mr. Keating responsible for Neil? Is that what they're saying?
:'''Cameron''': Well, who else do you think, dumbass?! The administration?! Mr. Perry?! I mean, Mr. Keating put us up to all this crap, didn't he?! If it wasn't for Mr. Keating, Neil would be cozying up in his room right now, studying his chemistry, and dreaming of being called doctor!
:'''Todd''': That is not true, Cameron! You know that! He didn't put us up to anything! And Neil loved acting!
:'''Cameron''': Believe what you want, but I say let Keating fry! I mean, why ruin our lives?!
:''(Charlie, out of rage, slugs Cameron. The others restrain him again.)''
:'''Cameron''': You've just signed your expulsion papers, &quot;Nuwanda&quot;! And if the rest of you were smart, you'll do exactly what I did! They know everything anyway. You can't save Keating, but you can save yourselves.

== Taglines ==
* He was their inspiration. He made their lives extraordinary.

==Cast==
*[[Robin Williams]] — John Keating
*[[w:Robert Sean Leonard|Robert Sean Leonard]] — Neil Perry
*[[Ethan Hawke]] — Todd Anderson
*[[w:Josh Charles|Josh Charles]] — Knox Overstreet
*[[w:Gale Hansen|Gale Hansen]] — Charlie Dalton
*[[w:Norman Lloyd|Norman Lloyd]] — Headmaster Dean Nolan
*[[w:Kurtwood Smith|Kurtwood Smith]] — Mr. Perry
*[[w:Dylan Kussman|Dylan Kussman]] — Richard Cameron
*Allelon Ruggiero — Steven Meeks
*[[w:Alexandra Powers|Alexandra Powers]] — Chris Noel

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0097165|title=Dead Poets Society}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=dead_poets_society|title=Dead Poets Society}}
*http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/dead_poets_final.html

[[Category:1989 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Coming-of-age films]]
[[Category:Teen drama films]]
[[Category:Peter Weir films]]
[[Category:High school films]]
[[Category:Films set in Vermont]]
[[Category:Films about suicide]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Taxation</title>
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      <text bytes="26245" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Franklin HalfObverse.jpg|thumb|Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. ~ [[Benjamin Franklin]] ]]
[[File:Ralph Waldo Emerson ca1857.jpg|thumb|If you tax too high, the revenue will yield nothing. ~ [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]] ]]
[[File:Dublin Portobello 33 Synge Street George Bernard Shaw Birthplace 2.JPG|thumb|A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~ [[George Bernard Shaw]] ]]
[[File:USSR 1942 unused form.jpg|thumb|Taxes are the existence of the state expressed in economic terms. ~ [[Karl Marx]]]]
[[file:Total-tax-revenues-gdp.png|thumb|I'm sure you understand why—taxes, a necessary evil, but perhaps more evil than necessary. ~ [[w:Ysabeau S. Wilce|Ysabeau S. Wilce]]]]
To '''[[w:Tax|tax]]''' (from Latin ''taxare'': to assess or appraise) is an imposition of a compulsory financial charge or levy upon an individual or legal entity by a state or the functional equivalent of a state in order to support that state. Taxes are commonly raised during periods of recession. Which are measured by two negative quarters of GDP growth.

==Quotes==
* Welfare should be built of more taxpayers. Not by higher taxes. 
** [[w:Anders Borg|Anders Borg]], Swedish Minister of Finance (2010), said in a speech during the election.&lt;br&gt;(In Swedish: &quot;Välfärden skall byggas av fler skattebetalare. Inte av högre skatter.&quot;)

* To please universally was the object of his life; but to tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men.
** [[Edmund Burke]], speech on American taxation, House of Commons (April 19, 1774); ''The Writings and Speeches of Edmund Burke'', ed. Paul Langford, vol. 2, p. 454 (1981).

* We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
** [[Winston Churchill]], “Why I am a Free Trader,” Chapter I in T.W. Stead’s journal ''Coming Men on Coming Questions'' (April 13, 1905), bottom p. 9. 

* The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing.
** [[Jean-Baptiste Colbert]], minister of finance to France’s 17th-century “Sun King”, Louis XIV 

* And I'm the one who will not raise taxes. My opponent now says he'll raise them as a last resort, or a third resort. But when a politician talks like that, you know that's one resort he'll be checking into. My opponent, my opponent won't rule out raising taxes. But I will. And the Congress will push me to raise taxes and I'll say no. And they'll push, and I'll say no, and they'll push again, and I'll say, to them, '''Read my lips: No new taxes!'''
** [[George Bush]], Acceptance speech, ''[[w:New York Times|New York Times]]'' (August 19, 1988).

* [[Government|Governments]] create nothing and have nothing to give but what they have first taken away — you may put money in the pockets of one set of [[English people|Englishmen]], but it will be money taken from the pockets of another set of Englishmen, and the greater part will be spilled on the way. Every vote given for Protection is a vote to give Governments the right of robbing [[Saint Peter|Peter]] to pay [[Paul of Tarsus|Paul]] and charging the public a handsome commission on the job.
** [[Winston Churchill]], “Why I am a Free Trader,” Chapter I in T.W. Stead’s journal ''Coming Men on Coming Questions'' (April 13, 1905), bottom p. 9.

* It has been said, “What does it mean—it is taxpayers’ money.” It is money taken from the pockets of the people of the country; it is taken from the necessities and comforts of the [[Working class|working classes]]. [[Agriculture]], [[steel]], [[iron]], [[Naval architecture|shipbuilding]], are all suffering too, and in some cases and in many parts, the conditions both of hours and labour are worse in those industries than they are in the [[w:Coal mining in the United Kingdom|coal industry]], or parts of it. How can you justify the whole country being forced to pay this particular levy almost indefinitely, when there is no prospect of any solution?
** [[Winston Churchill]], [https://winstonchurchill.org/resources/speeches/1915-1929-nadir-and-recovery/the-general-strike/ On the General Strike] (May 3, 1926)

* Note, besides, that it is no more immoral to directly rob citizens than to slip indirect taxes into the price of goods that they cannot do without.
** [[Albert Camus]], ''Caligula'', act 1, sc. 8, Pléiade (1962).

* [[World War II]] was . . . responsible for considerable changes in the [[w:income tax in the United States|U.S. federal income tax]]. Not only were rates increased, but the base was extended to cover most of the working population. Even as late as 1939, only 6 percent of U.S. citizens had to file an income tax return; by 1945 this had increased to over 70 percent . . . By 1945 the major features of the current federal tax system were in place.
** Susan B. Hansen, ''The Politics of Taxation: Revenue Without Representation'', New York: NY, Praeger (1983) p. 86.

* There is one difference between a [[tax collector]] and a [[w:Taxidermist|taxidermist]] — the taxidermist leaves the hide.
** [[Mortimer Caplin]], American bureaucrat, Director of the IRS. ''Time'' magazine, (Feb. 1, 1963)

* The [[w:Inland Revenue|Inland Revenue]] is not slow, and quite rightly, to take every advantage which is open to it under the [[Taxing Statutes]] for the purposes of depleting the [[taxpayer]]’s pocket. And the taxpayer is in like manner entitled to be astute to prevent, so far as he honestly can, the depletion of his means by the Inland Revenue.
**[[w:James Avon Clyde, Lord Clyde|James Avon Clyde, Lord Clyde]] (1863-1944), ''Ayrshire Pullman Motor Services and Ritchie v. Inland Revenue'' (1929) 14 Tax Case 754.

* So in a lot of other [[developed countries]], you essentially get a [[w:Tax return|tax return]] that's already been filled out by the [[w:Tax agency|tax agency]], and you sort of just look it over and click submit. One of the reasons that doesn't happen here is the influence and lobbying of the [[for-profit]] [[tax prep]] industries. And there's been really decades of lobbying by that industry to ensure that the [[IRS]] doesn't take a sort of more robust role in helping people file their taxes.
** [[ProPublica]] reporter  [[Justin Elliott]] has been reporting on free filing for nine years [https://www.npr.org/2022/03/19/1087712553/is-your-adjusted-household-income-less-than-73-000-you-can-file-your-taxes-for-f  How you can file your taxes online for free] (March 19, 2022)

* If you tax too high, the revenue will yield nothing.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], “Compensation,” ''Essays, First Series'' (1841, repr. 1847).

* In-tax-i-ca-tion [in-tak-si-KEY-shuh n] (noun) – The short-term euphoria associated with a tax refund that fades when you realize you are getting your own money back, interest-free, over a year later.
** Jamie Golombek, Managing Director, Tax and Estate Planning, CIBC Private Wealth, according to [https://www.cibc.com/content/dam/personal_banking/advice_centre/tax-savings/intaxication-en.pdf Intaxication: Why getting a tax refund may be a sign of poor financial planning] (March 2022)

* When a government taxes you, it takes something you own without your consent. That’s exactly what a [[Theft|thief]] does. The main difference is that the thief is breaking the law, whereas the government is (usually) taking your money legally.
** [[David R. Henderson]], ''The Joy of Freedom: An Economist’s Odyssey'', Financial Times/Prentice Hall (2002) p. 217.

* Of all debts men are least willing to pay the taxes. What a satire is this on government! Everywhere they think they get their money’s worth, except for these.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], “Politics,” ''Essays: Second Series, in The Complete Writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson'', vol. 1, p. 302 (1929).

* I’m tired of being told that I have to pay more [[taxes]] to “keep people in their [[homes]].” Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I’m willing to [[help]]. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the [[leftwing]] Congresscritters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the {{w|Community Reinvestment Act}} that created [[w:United States housing bubble|the bubble]] help them—with their own money.
** [[Robert A. Hall]], ''[http://tartanmarine.blogspot.com.ar/2009/02/robert.html I'm Tired]'' (February 19, 2009)

* The thugs and bullies of the Internal Revenue Service, as properly befits their disposition, consider the tax rebels, the [[Tax noncompliance|tax resister]], the worst of all [[Crime|criminals]] . . . The marauders of the Internal Revenue Service, with strict quotas for how much they have to squeeze from taxpayers, descend on ordinary working people like locusts and plague them even unto death.”
** [[Karl Hess]] ''Dear America'', William Morrow (1975) p. 6

* I don't like the income tax. Every time we talk about these taxes we get around to the idea of 'from each according to his capacity and to each according to his needs'. That's socialism. It's written into the Communist Manifesto. Maybe we ought to see that every person who gets a tax return receives a copy of the Communist Manifesto with it so he can see what's happening to him.
** {{w|T. Coleman Andrews}}, Commissioner of Internal Revenue, ''U.S. News &amp; World Report'' (May 25, 1956)

* [[William Ewart Gladstone|Mr. Gladstone]], then [[w:Chancellor of the Exchequer|Chancellor of the Exchequer]], had interrupted him in a description of his work on [[electricity]] to put the impatient inquiry: 'But, after all, what use is it?' Like a flash of [[lightning]] came the response: 'Why, sir, there is every probability that you will soon be able to tax it!'
** [[Michael Faraday]], in James Kendall, ''Michael Faraday, Man of Simplicity'', Introduction (1955), p. 14.

* '''Our new [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.'''
** [[Benjamin Franklin]], Letter to M. Leroy (Nov. 13, 1789). ''Complete Works'', vol. 10, ed. John Bigelow (1887-1888).

* The more the people are discontented with the oppression of taxes; the greater need the prince has of money to distribute among his partisans and pay the troops that are to suppress all resistance, and enable him to plunder at pleasure. There is scarce a king in a hundred who would not, if he could, follow the example of [[Ancient Egypt|Pharaoh]], get first all the peoples money, then all their lands, and then make them and their children servants for ever. . .
** [[Benjamin Franklin]], Speech to the Constitutional Convention, (June 2, 1787).

* The [[w:American colonies|American colonies]], all know, were greatly opposed to [[w:no taxation without representation|taxation without representation]]. They were also, a less celebrated quality, equally opposed to taxation with representation. 
** [[John Kenneth Galbraith]], ''[[w:The Age of Uncertainty|The Age of Uncertainty]]'', Chapter 6, p. 180.

* No country ever takes notice of the revenue laws of another.
** [[William Murray, 1st Earl of Mansfield|Lord Mansfield]], ''Hohnan v. Johnson'' (1775), 1 Cowp. 343.
** Also: &quot;* One nation does not take notice of the revenue laws of another&quot;. Lord Mansfield, ''Planche and another v. Fletcher'' (1779), 1 Doug. 253. See also per Abbott, C.J., ''James v. Catherwood'' (1823), 3 D. &amp; R. 191; per Rolfe, B., ''Bristow v. Sequeville'' (1850), 5 Ex. 279.

* Taxes are the existence of the [[state]] expressed in economic terms. [[w:Civil service|Civil servants]] and [[Priest|priests]], [[soldiers]] and [[Ballet|ballet-dancers]], [[Teachers|schoolmasters]] and [[Police|police constables]], Greek museums and Gothic steeples, civil list and services list—the common seed within which all these fabulous beings slumber in embryo is ''taxation''.
** [[Karl Marx]], ''Moralizing Criticism and Critical Morality'' (1847).

* Death and taxes and [[childbirth]]! There’s never any convenient time for any of them!
** {{w|Margaret Mitchell}}, Scarlett O’Hara, in ''[[w:Gone With the Wind (novel)|Gone With the Wind]]'', vol. 2, pt. 4, ch. 38 (1936).

* Indoors or out, no one relaxes&lt;br&gt;In March, that month of wind and taxes,&lt;br&gt;The wind will presently disappear,&lt;br&gt;The taxes last us all the year.
** [[Ogden Nash]], “Thar She Blows,” ''Versus'' (1949).

* The power to tax is not the power to destroy while this [[Supreme Court of the United States|Court]] sits.
** [[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.]], dissenting, ''Panhandle Oil Company v. Mississippi ex rel. Knox, Attorney General'', 277 U.S. 223 (1928).

* We don't have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven't taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much.
** [[Ronald Reagan]], Weekly Compilation of Presidential Documents, 1982

* A group of 136 countries on Friday set a [[w:global minimum corporate tax rate|minimum global tax rate]] of 15% for big companies
** [[Reuters]] &quot;[https://www.reuters.com/business/finance/global-corporate-tax-deal-nears-holdouts-drop-objections-2021-10-08/ Landmark global corporate tax deal finally finds agreement]&quot; (October 8, 2021)

* Printing money is merely taxation in another form. Rather than robbing [[Citizenship|citizens]] of their [[money]], government robs their money of its [[w:Purchasing power|purchasing power]]. 
** [[Peter Schiff]], &quot;Peering into the Abyss&quot;[http://www.lewrockwell.com/schiff/schiff10.html], 29 March 2009.

* Taxes are the chief business of a conqueror of the world.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], Caesar, in ''Caesar and Cleopatra'', act 2 (1901).

* A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], ''Everybody's Political What's What?'' (1944), chapter 30, p. 256.

* If ... the [[Inheritance tax|tax scheme]] allows enormous intergenerational wealth transfers within families, some families will maintain considerable socioeconomic advantages over others, which allows them to provide better [[Education|educations]] and better environments (both residential and familial) for their children, and their children's children. ... Even in a constitutional democracy in which each citizen has a publicly recognized claim to all the basic political and civil liberties, these socioeconomic inequalities would create an informal [[w:Social hierarchy|social hierarchy]] by birth: some would be born into great [[wealth]] and other social and political advantages while others would be born into poverty and its associated disadvantages. ... If, because a social scheme had the characteristics described above, the life prospects of some children were vastly inferior to those of others, it would be reasonable to regard these disadvantaged children as members of the lowest stratum in a descent-based social hierarchy. When such a hierarchy is, and has long been, marked by racial distinctions, equal citizenship, in any meaningful sense, does not obtain. In a society with an established [[Democracy|democratic]] tradition, such a [[Neo-feudalism|quasi-feudal]] order does not warrant the allegiance of its most disadvantaged members, especially when these persons are racially stigmatized. Indeed, the existence of such an order creates the suspicion that, despite the society's ostensible commitment to equal civil rights, white supremacy has simply taken a new form. 
** [[Tommie Shelby]], &quot;Justice, Deviance, and the Dark Ghetto,&quot; ''[[w:Philosophy &amp; Public Affairs|Philosophy &amp; Public Affairs]]'', vol. 35, no. 2 (2007), pp. 126–160

* Men who prefer any load of infamy, however great, to any pressure of taxation, however light.
** [[Sydney Smith]], ''On American Debts''.

*&lt;p&gt;It is true that the ''theory'' of [[Constitution of the United States|our Constitution]] is, that all taxes are paid voluntarily; that our government is a mutual insurance [[companies|company]], voluntarily entered into by the people with each other; that each man makes a free and purely voluntary [[contract]] with all others who are parties to the Constitution, to pay so much [[money]] for so much [[protection]], the same as he does with any other insurance company; and that he is just as free not to be protected, and not to pay any tax, as he is to pay a tax, and be protected.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;But this theory of our government is wholly different from the practical fact.&amp;nbsp; '''The fact is that the government, like a highwayman, says to a man: ''Your money, or your life.''&amp;nbsp; And many, if not most, taxes are paid under the compulsion of that threat.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''The government does not, indeed, waylay a man in a lonely place, spring upon him from the road side, and, holding a pistol to his head, proceed to rifle his pockets.&amp;nbsp; But the [[theft|robbery]] is none the less a robbery on that account; and it is far more dastardly and shameful.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''The highwayman takes solely upon himself the [[responsibility]], [[danger]], and [[crime]] of his own act.&amp;nbsp; He does not pretend that he has any [[natural rights|rightful]] claim to your money, or that he intends to use it for your own benefit.&amp;nbsp; He does not pretend to be anything but a robber.&amp;nbsp; He has not acquired impudence enough to profess to be merely a &quot;protector,&quot; and that he takes men's money against their will, merely to enable him to &quot;protect&quot; those infatuated travellers, who feel perfectly able to protect themselves, or do not appreciate his peculiar system of protection.&amp;nbsp; He is too sensible a man to make such professions as these.&amp;nbsp; Furthermore, having taken your money, he leaves you, as you wish him to do.&amp;nbsp; He does not persist in following you on the road, against your will; assuming to be your rightful &quot;sovereign,&quot; on account of the &quot;protection&quot; he affords you.&amp;nbsp; He does not keep &quot;protecting&quot; you, by commanding you to bow down and [[service|serve]] him; by [[force|requiring]] you to do this, and forbidding you to do that; by robbing you of more money as often as he finds it for his interest or pleasure to do so; and by branding you as a [[rebel]], a [[traitor]], and an [[enemy]] to your country, and shooting you down without mercy, if you dispute his [[authority]], or resist his demands.&amp;nbsp; He is too much of a gentleman to be guilty of such impostures, and insults, and villainies as these.&amp;nbsp; In short, he does not, in addition to robbing you, attempt to make you either his dupe or his [[slave]].'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''The proceedings of those robbers and [[murderers]], who call themselves &quot;[[government|the government]],&quot; are directly the opposite of these of the single highwayman.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In the first place, they do not, like him, make themselves individually known; or, consequently, take upon themselves personally the responsibility of their acts.&amp;nbsp; On the contrary, they secretly (by secret ballot) designate some one of their number to commit the robbery in their behalf, while they keep themselves practically concealed.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Lysander Spooner]], ''[[s:No Treason|No Treason]]'' (1867–1870), [[s:No Treason/6|No. VI: The Constitution of No Authority]] (1870), [[s:No Treason/6#12|pp. 12–13]]

* The law before us, my [[Lord|lords]], seems to be the effect of that practice of which it is intended likewise to be the cause, and to be dictated by the [[Alcoholic beverages|liquor]] of which it so effectually promotes the use; for surely it never before was conceived by any man entrusted with the administration of public affairs, to raise taxes by the destruction of the people.
** [[Philip Dormer Stanhope]], from a speech in the House of Lords (Feb. 22, 1743), on the Gin Licensing Act, recorded in The Parliamentary History of England to the Year 1803, vol. XII.

* Countries, therefore, when lawmaking falls exclusively to the lot of the poor cannot hope for much economy in public expenditure; expenses will always be considerable, either because taxes cannot touch those who vote for them or because they are assessed in a way to prevent that.
** [[Alexis de Tocqueville]], ''Democracy in America'', vol. 1, pt. 2, ch. 5 (1840).

* In other words, a democratic government is the only one in which those who vote for a tax can escape the obligation to pay it.
** [[Alexis de Tocqueville]], ''Democracy in America'', vol. 1, pt. 2, ch. 5 (1840).

* I hope they don't raise your taxes, but if they do, I told you so.
** [[Donald Trump]] in [https://edition.cnn.com/2021/01/20/politics/donald-trump-leaves-white-house/index.html Trump departs Washington a pariah as his era in power end] January 20, 2021

* There should be left only so much to the [[Hindu|Hindus]] that neither, on the one hand, they should become arrogant on account of their wealth, nor, on the other, desert their lands in despair.
** Ordinance by [[w:Ghiyasuddin Tughlaq|Ghiyasuddin Tughlaq]], quoted in Lal, K. S. (1992). The legacy of Muslim rule in India. New Delhi: Aditya Prakashan. Chapter 7

* What is the difference between a taxidermist &amp; a tax-collector? The taxidermist only takes your skin.
** [[Mark Twain]], ''Mark Twain’s Notebook'', editor, Albert Bigelow Paine, (1st ed.) New York: NY, Harper &amp; Brothers, 1935, p. 379

* Theft consists of taking a man’s property against his will, regardless of the beneficiary. If the individual has an inalienable right to his own life, liberty and property, then morally his life and property are his to do with as he pleases.
** David K. Walter, as quoted in ''Facets of Liberty: A Libertarian Primer'', edited [[L.K. Samuels]], Freeland Press (2009), from chapter 9, “Taxation is Theft”, p. 92.

* An unlimited power to tax involves, necessarily, a power to destroy.
** [[Daniel Webster]], ''McCulloch v. Maryland'' 17 U.S. 327 (1819). Usually reported as &quot;The power to tax is the power to destroy&quot;. Webster, in arguing the case, said: &quot;An unlimited power to tax involves, necessarily, a power to destroy&quot;, 17 U.S. 327 (1819). Chief Justice [[John Marshall]] reflected this in his decision, saying: &quot;That the power of taxing it [the bank] by the States may be exercised so as to destroy it, is too obvious to be denied&quot; (p. 427), and &quot;That the power to tax involves the power to destroy … [is] not to be denied&quot; (p. 431).

* Please understand my position. It is, and has always been, the policy of this House to operate on a cash basis; I'm sure you understand why—taxes, a necessary evil, but perhaps more evil than necessary.
** [[w:Ysabeau S. Wilce|Ysabeau S. Wilce]], ''The Lineaments of Gratified Desire'' (2006), reprinted in Rich Horton (ed.) ''Fantasy: The Best of the Year 2007,'' p. 179

===''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989)===
* In the usual progress of things, the necessities of a nation in every stage of its existence will be found at least equal to its resources.
** [[Alexander Hamilton]], The Federalist, ed. Benjamin F. Wright, no. 30, p. 234 (1961).

* Every good citizen … should be willing to devote a brief time during some one day in the year, when necessary, to the making up of a listing of his income for taxes … to contribute to his Government, not the scriptural tithe, but a small percentage of his net profits.
** [[Cordell Hull]], remarks in the House, April 26, 1913, Congressional Record, vol. 50, p. 505.

* If the Government cannot reduce the &quot;terrific&quot; tax burden on the country, I will predict that you will have a depression that will curl your hair, because we are just taking too much money out of this economy that we need to make the jobs that you have to have as time goes on.
** [[w:George M. Humphrey|George M. Humphrey]], secretary of the treasury, at a news conference on January 15, 1957, as reported by The New York Times, January 17, 1957, p. 20. On January 16, President Eisenhower sent to Congress a record peacetime budget of $71.8 billion.

== Attributed ==
* The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing.
** Variously attributed to [[Jean-Baptiste Colbert|Jean Baptiste Colbert]], minister of finance to Louis XIV of France; and [[Cardinal Mazarin]], under whom Colbert served. Reported in Burton Stevenson, ed., ''The Home Book of Quotations'' (1967), 10th ed., p. 2300f, no. 5.

* We shall tax and tax, and spend and spend, and elect and elect.
** Attributed to [[Harry Hopkins|Harry L. Hopkins]], administrator of the [[w:Works Progress Administration|Works Progress Administration]]. Although Frank R. Kent mentioned the subject of &quot;spending, taxes, and election&quot; in reference to Hopkins in his column, &quot;The Great Game of Politics&quot; (Baltimore, Maryland, Sun, September 25, 1938, p. 1, 16) he first attributed &quot;we are going to spend and spend and spend, and tax and tax and tax, and elect and elect and elect&quot; to Hopkins in the ''Sun'' (October 14, 1938), p. 15. Joseph Alsop and Robert Kintner in their column, &quot;The Capital Parade&quot; (Washington, D.C., ''Evening Star'', November 9, 1938, p. A–11), elaborated Hopkins's &quot;probably apocryphal&quot; words to: &quot;Now, get this through your head. We're going to spend and spend and spend, and tax and tax and tax, and re-elect and re-elect and re-elect, until you're dead or forgotten.&quot; Arthur Krock, in his column, &quot;In the Nation&quot; (''The New York Times'', November 10, 1938, p. 26), reported the wording as &quot;we will spend and spend, and tax and tax, and elect and elect&quot;. He repeated this wording in ''The New York Times'' (November 13, 1938), sec. 4, p. E–3. A letter by Hopkins denying this attributed quotation and a response by Krock were published in ''The New York Times'', November 24, 1938, p. 26. Over the years the quotation attributed to Hopkins has evolved into the wording above.

==See also==
* [[Inheritance tax]]
* [[Tax noncompliance]]
* [[Taxation in the United States]]
* [[Taxation in India]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|taxation}}

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    <title>The Jungle Book (1967 film)</title>
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'''''[[w:The Jungle Book (1967 film)|The Jungle Book]]''''', is an animated 1967 film based on [[Rudyard Kipling]]'s ''Mowgli'' stories, was released in October [[w:1967 in film|1967]] by the [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Disney Studios]]. This best-known adaptation was producer [[Walt Disney]]'s last animated project. Disney released a sequel in 2003, ''[[The Jungle Book 2]]''.

{{center|'''The jungle is JUMPIN'!'''}}

== Baloo ==
* ''[after he, Bagheera, and Mowgli escape from King Louie and company]'' Whew! ''[laughs]'' Man, that's what I call a swingin' party!
* ''[after Bagheera tells Baloo that he is taking Mowgli back to the Man Village]'' Man Village? They'll ruin him! They'll make a man outta him!
* ''[after Mowgli climbs on Baloo's butt and tickles him with his feet]'' No. No, no. No, no. Now, you're ticklin'.
* ''[as he and Mowgli float down a river]'' Lemme tell you some'm, Li'l Britches: if you act like that bee acts, uh-uh. You're working too hard. And don't spend your time just looking around.... for something you want that can't be found.
* ''[yanks a pouty Bagheera's foot as he smirks]'' Come on, Baggy! Get with the beat! 
*''[furiously]'' Are you outta your mind? I promised him that he could stay here in the jungle with me!
* He's a dandy! ''[Playfully slaps Mowgli on the bottom which sends him rolling around and leaves him knocked out on the ground.]''
* ''[repeated line]'' You better believe it!

== Bagheera ==
* &quot;Pawpaw&quot;.... Ha! Of all the silly gibberish.
* Oh, no, it's Baloo! That shiftless, stupid jungle bum! 
* Now, come on! Up this tree. You'll be safer up there.

== Mowgli ==
*  ''['''Bagheera:''' So, you can look out for yourself, can you? Heh. So, you want to stay in the jungle, do you?]'' Yes, I want to stay in the jungle. ''['''Bagheera:''' D'oh. N-N-Now, for the last time, go to sleep!]''
* ''['''Colonel Hathi:''' I say. [pokes Mowgli's nose] What happened to your trunk?]'' ''[pushes stick away]'' Hey! Stop that! ''['''Colonel Hathi:''' [gasps and sputters in shock] A Man-Cub! Oh, this is treason! Sabotage! I'll have no Man-Cub my jungle!]'' ''[to Colonel Hathi]'' It's not ''your'' jungle!
* ''[to King Louie]'' But I dunno how to make fire.
* You told me a lie, Kaa. You said I could trust you.
* ''[angrily pushes Shere Khan's paw away]'' You don't scare me! I won't run from anyone!
* ''[to Kaa]'' Oh, go away and leave me alone!

==Kaa==
* It's like you s-said, you can't trus-s-s-t anyone!

== Other ==
* '''Kaa''': ''[after Mowgli learns he has been deceived by the snake]'' If I never see that skinny little shrimp again, it will be too soon. ''[slithering away]'' Oh, my s-ss-s-[[w:sacroiliac joint|sacroiliac]].
* '''Shere Khan''': ''[while Baloo holds his tail]'' Let go, you big oaf!
* '''Mowgli''': ''[angrily hitting Shere Khan's face with a stick]'' Take that, ya big bully!
* '''Akela''': ''[to Bagheera who volunteers to deliver Mowgli to the Man Village]'' So be it. Now, there's no time to lose. Good luck.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[first lines; as a narrator]'' Many strange legends are told of these jungles of India, but none so strange as the story of a small boy named Mowgli. It all began when the silence of the jungle was broken by an unfamiliar sound. ''[At the sound of a baby's cries, Bagheera stops at Baby Mowgli's boat]'' It was a sound that had never been heard before in this part of the jungle. ''[Bagheera looks at the boat with Baby Mowgli]'' It was a Man-Cub! If I had known how deeply I was to be involved, I would have obeyed my first impulse and walked away. ''[Bagheera turns back on the branch, but Baby Mowgli cries again, making him return. He looks down and Baby Mowgli looks at him playfully]'' This Man-Cub would have to have nourishment, and soon. It was many days' travel to the nearest Man Village, and without a mother's care, he would soon perish. Then, it occurred to me. A family of wolves I knew had been blessed with a litter of cubs. ''[the wolf pups play around their mother Raksha, Bagheera is looking at them from the bushes, Bagheera with Baby Mowgli watches from the bushes as the family of wolves walk into their lair and puts the baby boy right before the entrance. He goes back into the bushes and waits, but nothing happens, so he carefully sneaks back over and pushes the basket with his paw. The baby cries out in surprise and Bagheera, alarmed by this, runs away. The wolves come out and look at Baby Mowgli, and Raksha smiles down at him, who now giggles]'' I knew there'd be no problem with the mother, thanks to maternal instinct, but I wasn't so sure about Rama the father. ''[Rama comes from the jungle, sniffs suspiciously at the baby Man-Cub, sees the smiling face of Raksha, looks at Baby Mowgli playing with the wolf pups again, and smiles, too, and &quot;My Own Home&quot; starts in the background as the wolves take Baby Mowgli into the wolf lair. 10 years later...]'' 10 times the rains had come and gone, and I often stopped by to see how Mowgli the Man-Cub was getting along. He was a favorite with all the young wolf cubs of the pack. ''[Mowgli howls; Raksha and the four young wolves came out of the cave; Grey Brother and Leah playfully tackle and lick Mowgli]'' No Man-Cub was ever happier. And yet...I knew that someday, he would have to go back to his own kind. ''[scene switches to Council Rock on a misty, moonlit night, with howling]'' Then, one night, the Wolf Pack elders met at Council Rock, because Shere Khan, the tiger, had returned to their part of the jungle. This meeting had to change the Man-Cub's entire future.
:'''Akela:''' Shere Khan will surely kill the boy, and all who try to protect him. Now, are we all in agreement as to what must be done? ''[wolves solemnly nod]'' Now, it is my unpleasant duty to tell the boy's father. Rama. Uh, come over here, please.
:'''Rama:''' Yes, Akela?
:'''Akela:''' The Council has reached its decision. The Man-Cub can no longer stay with the pack. He must leave at once.
:'''Rama:''' ''[shocked]'' ''Leave?''
:'''Akela:''' I'm sorry, Rama. There is no other way.
:'''Rama:''' But-- But the Man-Cub is-- Well, he's like my own son! Surely, he's entitled to the protection of the pack.
:'''Akela:''' But, Rama, even the strength of the pack is no match for the tiger.
:'''Rama:''' But the boy cannot survive alone in the jungle.
:'''Bagheera:''' Akela, perhaps I can be of help.
:'''Akela:''' You, Bagheera? How?
:'''Bagheera:''' I know of a Man Village where he'll be safe. Mowgli and I have taken many walks into this jungle together, I'm sure he'll go with me.
:'''Akela:''' So be it. Now, there's no time to lose. Good luck.
:''[scene switches to Bagheera and Mowgli at night]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Bagheera... ''[tiredly stretches]'' ...I’m gettin' a little sleepy. Shouldn't we start back home?
:'''Bagheera:''' Mowgli, this time, we're not going back. I'm taking you to a Man Village.
:'''Mowgli:''' But why?
:'''Bagheera:''' Because Shere Khan has returned to this part of the jungle, and he has sworn to kill you.
:'''Mowgli:''' Kill me? But why would he wanna do that?
:'''Bagheera:''' He hates man, and Shere Khan is not going to allow you to grow up to become a man; just another hunter with a gun.
:'''Mowgli:''' Aw, we'll just explain to him that I'd never do a thing like that.
:'''Bagheera:''' Nonsense. No one explains anything to Shere Khan.
:'''Mowgli:''' Well, maybe so, but I'm not afraid. And besides, I--
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[interrupts Mowgli]'' Now, that's enough. We'll spend the night here. Things will look better in the morning. Man-Cub? Man-Cub! Now, come on. Up this tree. You'll be safer up there.
:'''Mowgli:''' Uh, I don't want to go back to the man-village.
:'''Bagheera:''' Go on. Up you go.
:'''Mowgli:''' That limb way up there?
:'''Bagheera:''' That's right. ''[Mowgli tries to climb the tree-trunk but can't]'' ''[chuckles]'' Is that all the better you can climb?
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[grunting]'' It's too big around! And besides, I don't have any claws!
:''[Bagheera helps and with some grunting, Mowgli scratches upside down a Bagheera's back, yelps, then climbs back on the Bagheera's back gets Mowgli on that limb. Bagheera helps Mowgli goes in the night on a tree branch.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' Now, get some sleep. We've got a long journey ahead us tomorrow.
:'''Mowgli:''' Uh, I wanna stay in the jungle.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smirks]'' Huh? Heh, you wouldn't last one day. ''[he yawns and lies down to sleep]''
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm not afraid. I-I can look after myself.
:''[Kaa the python then appears from the leaves, he smacks his lips when noticing Mowgli, looks towards Bagheera to see him sleeping. He then approaches Mowgli.]''
:'''Kaa:''' S-SS-Say, now! ''[Mowgli looks up unimpressed, scowls at Kaa, and then sticks his tongue out at him.]'' What have we here? ''[chuckles]'' It's a Man-Cub, a deeliss-ss-see-aws-ss-s Man-Cub.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily pushing Kaa away.]'' Oh, go away and leave me alone.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[sleeping]'' That's just what I should do, but I'm not. Now, now, now, ''please'' go to sleep, Man-cub!
:''[Kaa nods his head in agreement and begins to hypnotize Mowgli.]''
:'''Kaa:''' ''[imitating Bagheera's sentence]'' Yes-ss-s, Man-Cub. ''[singing]'' Please go to sleep. Please go to sleep. ''[sings this as tuned from &quot;Rock-a-Bye Baby&quot;]'' Sleep, little Man-Cub, res-ss-st in peas-ss-se.
:''[Kaa begins to wrap his coils around a hypnotized Mowgli.]''
:'''Kaa:''' S-SS-Sleep. S-SS-Sleep.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[moaning]'' Ba-Ba-Ba-Bagheera?
:''[Kaa wraps his tail tightly around Mowgli's throat, choking Mowgli, himself. Bagheera is still unaware at what's happening.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[sleeping]'' Oh, now, look, there's no use arguing anymore. Now, no more talk till morning.
:''[Kaa now completely has a fully hypnotized and smiling Mowgli wrapped around his coils.]''
:'''Kaa:''' ''[chuckles]'' He won't ''be'' here in the morning.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[glances at Mowgli and Kaa]'' Huh? Oh, yes, he will-- ''[suddenly realizes what is happening and fully wakes up; alarmed]'' '''KAA!!!! ''HOLD IT, KAA!''''' ''[just before Kaa is about to eat Mowgli, Bagheera angrily slaps Kaa's head onto another tree branch, and Kaa bangs his head on it. This makes Mowgli fully conscious and released from Kaa's coils.]''
:'''Kaa:''' Ohhh, my sinus-ss-s! ''[scowls at Bagheera and moves forward to him]'' You have just made a s-ss-serious mistake, my friend. A very, s-ss-stupid--
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[nervously stammering]'' Now, Kaa, look, I was--
:'''Kaa:''' --mis-ss-stake! ''[Bagheera looks Kaa in his left eye as Kaa begins to hypnotize him]'' Look me in the eye when I'm speaking to you.
:'''Bagheera:''' Please, Kaa.
:'''Kaa:''' ''Both'' eyes, if you please. ''[hypnotizes the panther, and now Bagheera is fully hypnotized and smiling]'' You have just s-ss-sealed your doom. ''[Mowgli pushes Kaa's coils off the branch with his feet, causing the snake to comically fall from the tree]'' Ooooh.
:'''Mowgli:''' Look, ''Bagheera''! ''[points at Kaa]'' Look. ''Bagheera''! Wake up, ''Bagheera''! ''[smacks both his cheeks with his bare hands]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[wakes up]'' Uh, duh, wha--?
:'''Kaa:''' ''[slithering away, angrily]'' Just you wait till I get you in my coils! ''[suddenly stops because a knot on his tail gets stuck between a couple bamboo stems]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[laughs playfully]'' Bagheera, he's got a knot on his tail.
:'''Kaa:''' ''[mimics Mowgli, sarcastically]'' &quot;Hee-hee-hee! He's got a knot on his tail.&quot; ''[frees his tail, but that causes his whole body to come together like an accordion, then Kaa crawls away now with his bent coils]'' Ooooh, this is going to slow down my s-ss-slithering. ''[Mowgli laughs playfully]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smirks]'' So, you could look out for yourself, can you? Heh. So, you wanna stay in the jungle, do ya?
:'''Mowgli:''' Yes. I wanna stay in the jungle!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[annoyed]'' D'oh! N-NNow, for the last time.... ''[snaps and both half-smirks (on the right) and half-smiles (on the left)]'' ....go to sleep! ''[Mowgli pouts as he tries to get some sleep]'' Man-Cub, heh! Man-Cub. Ah. ''[They finally go to sleep and settle down for the night]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During the inspection of the Jungle Patrol]''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Company, left face! ''[elephants turn around in a military fashion]''
:'''Winifred:''' March, march, march. My feet are killing me.
:'''Elephant #1:''' ''[whispers]'' I’m putting in for a transfer to another herd.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Silence in the ranks! ''[he walks around the rank]'' Dress up that line. ''[Elephants raise there rears, he hits Winifred's rear with his cane, and she raise her rear]'' Pull it in, Winifred. ''[he walks back to front]'' Inspection, arms!
:''[Elephants stick their trunks out]''
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' ''[to Mowgli]'' Stick your nose out.
:'''Mowgli:''' Like this?
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' That's right.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[looking closely at a recruit’s trunk]'' Tsk, tsk, tsk. A dusty muzzle. ''[to elephant in question]'' Soldier, remember, in battle, that trunk can save your life. ''[taps trunk with cane]'' Take good care of it, my man.
:'''Elephant #2:''' Yes, sir!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Very good. Carry on. ''[the next recruit has dirty tusks and is lazily chewing on some vegetation until the Colonel clears his throat in serious annoyance]'' Let's have a little more spit and polish on those bayonets. ''[taps tusk with cane]''
:'''Elephant #3:''' Yes, sir!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''Esprit de corps!'' That's the way that I earned my commission in the Mahajarah's 5th Pachyderm Brigade. Back in '88, it was-- Or was it?
:'''Winifred:''' ''[whispering to another elephant]'' Here it comes. The &quot;Victoria Cross&quot; bit again.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' It was then I received the Victoria Cross, for bravery above and beyond the call of duty. ''[chuckles]'' Those were the days. Discipline! Discipline was the thing! ''[leans on his bamboo cane]'' It builds character and all that sort of thing, you know. ''[his cane snaps in half as he leans on it]'' Oh. Uh, where was I? Oh, yes. Inspection. ''[The next recruit is a rough-looking elephant with bent tusks and a black eye]'' Well, very good. ''[The next recruit is an elephant with a goofy-looking grin across his face]'' Wipe off that silly grin, soldier! This is the army. ''[The elephant's smile droops into a sad frown, making his tusks droop. The next recruit is focused on a fly buzzing around his face which lands on his trunk]'' Ahem. ''[swats the fly with his cane]'' Eyes front. ''[Next, the lieutenant, with a mop of hair]'' Tsk, tsk, tsk. Lieutenant, that haircut is not regulation. ''[messes the hair up]'' Rather on the gaudy side, don't you think? ''[Hathi swipes his cane across, giving the lieutenant a military-style flat-topped haircut]'' There. That's better. ''[Hathi looks to the left]'' And as for you-- ''[Realizes that he's talking to his son Hathi Jr. and looks down]'' Oh, there you are. ''[chuckles]'' Let's keep those heels together, shall we, son?
:'''Junior:''' OK, Pop--sir!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Yes, that's better. ''[turns to Mowgli]'' Well, a new recruit, eh? ''[chuckles and pokes Mowgli's nose with his cane]'' I say, what happened to your trunk?
:'''Mowgli:''' Hey! Stop that!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[gasps, sputters]'' A Man-Cub! ''[picking up Mowgli with his trunk]'' Oh, this is treason! Sabotage! I’ll have no Man-Cub in my jungle! ''[puts him down on ground]''
:'''Mowgli:''' It’s not ''your'' jungle!
:'''Bagheera:''' Hold it. Hold it! I can explain, Hathi.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''Colonel'' Hathi, if you please, sir.
:''' Bagheera:''' Oh, yes, yes. ''Colonel'' Hathi. The Man-Cub is with me. I'm taking him back to the Man Village.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' To stay?
:'''Bagheera:''' You have the word of Bagheera.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Good. And remember, an elephant never forgets. ''[mumbling, and Mowgli crosses his arms and frowns at him]'' Heh. I don't know what the army's coming to these days. These young whippersnappers, who do they think they are? ''[clears throat; all the elephants are dosing by now, but wake up as soon as Hathi commands]'' Let's get on with it. Right face! ''[bellows]'' '''''FORWARD, MARCH!'''''
:'''Winifred:''' Dear, haven't you forgotten something?
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Nonsense, Winifred, old girl. An elephant never forgets.
:'''Winifred:''' ''[about a Hathi Jr.]'' Well, you just forgot our '''''son.'''''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[he somethings realize to forgot what will happen to Junior]'' Uh, uh, son-- Son? ''[stammers]'' '''''SON?!''''' ''[he turns to see Hathi Jr. playing with Mowgli]'' Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, quite right. Heh-heh! To the rear, march!
:''[Elephants turns around to lead a Colonel Hathi's way, look for Hathi Jr. still playing with Mowgli]''
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' ''[to Mowgli]'' When I grow up, I'm gonna be a ''Colonel''. Just like my--
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[picking up Junior with his trunk]'' If I told you once, I've told you a thousand times--!
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' ''[seeing other elephants marching into Hathi's rear]'' Pop! Look out!
:''[The spectacular crash of the elephants, reused in [[Goliath II|Goliath II]] after Jungle Book now takes place. The lazily Elephant #3 chewing on some vegetation while stucking on a Hathi's troopers.]''
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' Gee, Pop. You forgot to say &quot;halt&quot;.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[laughing, then whispers to Bagheera on Colonel Hathi]'' He said that an elephant never forgets. ''[He laughs hysterically again and stops]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smirks]'' It's not funny. Now, let's get out of here before anything else happens.
:''[Bagheera and Mowgli leave]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Bagheera, where are we going?
:'''Bagheera:''' You're going back to the Man Village right now!
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm not going!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[losing his patience]'' Oh, yes, you are!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[grabbing hold of a tree]'' I'm stayin' right here!
:'''Bagheera:''' You're going if I have to drag you every step of the way!
:''[Bagheera grabs Mowgli by the loincloth with his teeth and tries to tug him away from the tree, but Mowgli refuses to let go.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[through clenched teeth]'' Let go, you!
:'''Mowgli:''' '''''You''''' let go of ''me!''
:''[Mowgli kicks Bagheera in the face. Bagheera pulls so hard that he loses his grip, and falls backward into the river. He tries to get out of the water, but accidentally hits his head on a log.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[angrily]'' Oh, that '''''does''''' it! I've '''''had''''' it, Man-cub. For now on, you're on your own. '''''Alone!'''''
:'''Mowgli:''' Don't worry about me.
:''[Bagheera leaves and Mowgli walks aimlessly for a while]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[still walking away]'' Ah. Foolish, Man-Cub.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[as Mowgli sits down near some rock with his head low until hears sounds from nearby bushes. Baloo the Bear appears comes in.]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[scat-singing]'' ''♪ Doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee dee-doo. Well, it's a doo-bah-dee-do, yes, it's a doo-bah-dee-do, I mean a doo-be doo-bee doo-be, doo-be doo-bee doo. And with-- ♪'' ''[stops singing; he spoked to sees Mowgli]'' Well, now. ''[chuckles]'' What have we here? ''[he sniffs Mowgli's hair, and Mowgli get really annoyed uncover his head down]'' Hmm. Hey! What a funny little bit of a-- ''[Mowgli slaps him in his nose]'' Oh!
:'''Mowgli:''' Go away!
:'''Baloo:''' Oh, boy! I've seen ''everything'' in these woods. Ooh, what have I run on? What a pretty thing '''''this''''' is!
:'''Mowgli:''' Leave me alone.
:'''Baloo:''' Well, now. ''[tapping Mowgli's back]'' That's pretty big '''''talk,''''' little britches.
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm big enough. ''[he starts hitting Baloo in the tummy repeatedly but Baloo doesn't almost notice that]''
:'''Baloo:''' Ha-ha.. tsk-tsk-tsk. Pitiful. Hey, kid, you need help, an ol' Baloo's gonna learn you to fight like a bear. Now, come on, I'm gonna show you. Grrr! ''[he starts to dance around and Mowgli too, mimicking Baloo's move]'' Ha-ha! Yeah. All right now kid, loosen up, get real loosen, then start to weave, ''weave'' a little, now move, that's it. Now give me a big bear growl, scare me! ''[Mowgli makes a barely audible growl]'' Tsk-tsk-tsk. Oh, boy. I'm talking about like a big bear!
:''[Baloo makes a growl which rocks the jungle to the bottom and even Bagheera who was walking away all this time hears it.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' He's in trouble. Why, I-I shouldn't have left him alone!
:''[Bagheera runs back to Mowgli]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily growls at Baloo]'' Grrr.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[anger roars loudly]'' '''''GRRR!!!!'''''
:'''Mowgli:''' Grrr!
:'''Baloo:''' A big one, right from the toes.
:'''Mowgli:''' How's that?
:''[Bagheera arrives and sees Baloo is dance fighting with Mowgli]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[off in the distance]'' Grrr!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[off-screen; laughs]'' Ya, you're getting it, kid!
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, no, it's Baloo! That shiftness stupid jungle bum!
:''[Baloo and Mowgli dance around again]''
:'''Baloo:''' Weave about, now look for an opening. Keep movin', keep-- ''[Mowgli takes some swings at Baloo's nose but misses; laughs]'' Ya, you're getting it, kid! ''[chuckles]'' Come on, that's it! ''[chuckles]'' He's a dandy! ''[Playfully slaps Mowgli on the bottom which sends him rolling around and leaves him knocked out on the ground.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[chuckles]'' Fine teacher you are, Old Iron Paws.
:'''Baloo:''' Oh, thanks, Bagheera.
:'''Bagheera:''' Yeah, tell me, tell me after you know your pupil senseless, how do you expect him to remember the lesson, Hmm?
:''[Mowgli at this time already came to and sits on the ground, shaking head]''
:'''Baloo:''' Well, I-- I-- I didn't mean to... lay it on him so hard.
:''[Mowgli gets up and walks to Baloo, though kinda unsteadily]''
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm not hurt. '''''I'm''''' all right! I'm a lot tougher than some people ''think.''
:'''Baloo:''' You better believe it! Now let's go once more. Now, I want you to keep circlin' or I'm gonna knock your roof in again, you better keep movin'-- ''[Mowgli hits Baloo into lower jaw]'' Ooph! ''[playfully falls down]'' Hey! Right on the ''button!'' ''[Mowgli climbs on Baloo's butt, occasionally tickling him with his feet; laughing.]'' No. No, no. No, no. Now, you're ticklin'. ''[chuckling happily; Mowgli starts tickling him deliberately]'' Oh, no, no, no, no. No, we don't do that here, the chat-- Oh, no, you're ticklin', I-I can't stand tick-- ''[chuckling playfully hysterically]'' '''''HELP, BAGHEERA!'''''
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, boy. That's all he needs. More Confidence.
:'''Mowgli:''' Give up, Baloo?!
:'''Baloo:''' I give up, I told ya! ''[chuckles]'' Ooh, I give-- ''[Mowgli stops tickling him]'' Hey. ''[chuckles]'' You know something? You're all right, kid. What do they call you?
:'''Bagheera:''' Mowgli. And he's going back to the Man Village right now.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[shocked]'' Man Village? They'll ruin him! They'll make a man outta him!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[he notice Baloo want to stay in the Jungle]'' Oh, Baloo, I want to stay here with you!
:'''Baloo:''' Certainly you do.
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh? And just how do you think he will survive?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[mimics Bagheera, sarcastically]'' &quot;How do you think he will...&quot; What do you mean &quot;How do you think he...&quot; He's with ''me'', ain't he? And ''I'll'' learn him all I know.
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh? That shouldn't take too long.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Baloo glares at Bagheera and then turns to Mowgli at the Begins of &quot;The Bare Necessities&quot;]''
:'''Baloo:''' Look, now it's like this, little britches. All you gotta do is... ''[singing]'' ''♪ Look for the Bare Necessities, the simple Bare Necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife. I mean the Bare Necessities! Ol' Mother Nature's recipes, that bring the Bare Necessitites of life. Wherever I wander, wherever I roam. I couldn't be fonder of my big home. The bees are buzzin' in the tree to make some honey just for me. When you look under the rocks and plants, and take a glance at the fancy ants. Then maybe try a few... ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' You eat ants?
:'''Baloo''': ''[laughs]'' You better believe it. And you're gonna ''love'' the way they tickle.
:''[Rock almost falls on Mowgli]''
:'''Bagheera''': ''[stammers]'' '''MOWGLI, LOOK OUT!'''
:'''Baloo''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ The Bare Necessities of life will come to you. ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[trying to catch an ant]'' But when?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ They'll come to you. Look for the Bare Necessities, the simple Bare Necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife. I mean the Bare Necessities! That's why a bear can rest at ease with just the Bare Necessities of life. Now when you pick a pawpaw, or a prickly pear... ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[pointed prickling finger]'' Ow!
:'''Baloo''': ''[continue singing]'' ''♪ ...And you prick a raw paw. Well, next time, beware! Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw. When you pick a pear try to use the claw. But, you don't need to use the claw. When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw. Have I given you a clue? ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' Golly, thanks, Baloo!
:'''Bagheera''': &quot;Pawpaw&quot;.... Ha! Of all the silly gibberish.
:'''Baloo''': ''[yanks a pouty Bagheera's foot as he smirks]'' Come on, Baggy! Get with the beat! ''[singing]'' ''♪ The Bare Necessities of life will come to you. ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ They'll come to me! ♪''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ They'll come to you. ♪'' ''[Music from the song goes on through the whole following scratching scene]'' How 'bout scratchin' that old left shoulder while you're up there, Mowgli? ''[Mowgli scratches Baloo's back]'' Now just a hair lower. There, right there. That's it. Ahh... This is beautiful. That's good. Kid, we've got to get to tree, this calls for some ''big'' scratch.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[laughs]'' You're lots of fun, Baloo!
:''[Baloo is now scratching against a tree]''
:'''Baloo:''' Right on it. Yeah. That's delicious. Ahh... ooh! Just a little bit-- Mm... yeah... ha-ha! Ooh! ''[pulls tree from the ground finally, and scratches by it trunk with his back to the his chest]'' Mm... mmm... ha-ha... ooh. Yeah. ''[Baloo, satisfied, lets himself fall into a river]'' Oh, man, this is really livin'. ''[floats in a river]'' So just try and relax. Yeah. ''[Mowgli gets on his tummy]'' Cool it. Fall apart in my backyard. ''[Mowgli float down a river]'' Cause' lemme tell you some'm, Li'l Britches: if you act like that bee-acts, uh-huh. You're working too hard. And don't spend your time just looking around.... for something you want that can't be found. ''[singing]'' ''♪ When you find out you can live without it and go along not thinking about it. And I'll tell you something true. The Bare Necessities of life will come to you. ♪''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[annoyed, and turns walks away]'' Ahh... I give up. Well, I hope his luck holds out.
:'''Baloo:''' Mowgli, how 'bout you singing?
:'''Baloo and Mowgli:''' ''[both singing]'' ''♪ Look for the Bare Necessities, the simple Bare Necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife. ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' Yeah, man!
:''[the monkeys sees Mowgli and Baloo are singing in the float a river]''
:'''Both:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ I mean the Bare Necessities, that's why a bear can rest at ease. With just the Bare Necessities of life. ♪''
:'''Baloo:''' Yeah!
:'''Both:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ With just the Bare Necessities of Life. ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' Yeah, man!
:''[At the end of &quot;The Bare Necessities&quot;]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[laughing]'' '''''Beautiful!''''' That's ''real'' jungle harmony.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[smiles]'' I like being a bear.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[smiles]'' That's my boy. And you're gonna make one swell bear. Why, you even sing like one!
 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the monkeys have kidnapped Mowgli]''
:'''Baloo:''' Bagheera! ''[Cut to Bagheera]'' ''[off in the distance]'' '''''BAGHEERAAA!'''''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[Turns around as he hears Baloo yelling his name a mile away]'' Well, it's happened. Took a little longer than I thought, but it's happened. ''[Starts running back toward Baloo, who's struggling to climb up the cliff. Bagheera reaches the cliff]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[on the edge, screaming loudly]'' '''''BAAA-GEE-RAH!!!!!!!''''' ''[Baloo has screamed so loudly in Bagheera's face that the sound leaves him shaken. Baloo then realizes that Bagheera is in front of him]'' Oh, you heard me, huh?
:'''Bagheera:''' Mowgli? '''''Mowgli?''''' All right, what happened? Where's Mowgli?
:'''Baloo:''' They ambushed me; '''''thousands''''' of 'em! I jabbed with my left, then I swung with the right, and then I let--!
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, for the last time, what happened to Mowgli?
:'''Baloo:''' Like I told ya; them mangy monkeys carried him off!
:'''Bagheera:''' The Ancient Ruins? Oh, I hate to think about what will happen when he meets that King of theirs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''King Louie:''' Ha-ha! So, you're the Man-Cub? ''[rolls his eyes]'' Crazy.
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm not as crazy as you are. ''[to the monkeys]'' Put me down!
:''[A monkey lets go of Mowgli's ankles, and Mowgli lands flat on his face.]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily shaking a fist at the monkey]'' You cut that out!
:'''King Louie:''' ''[picks up Mowgli by his loincloth]'' Cool it, boy, and unwind yourself. ''[scat-sings to himself; Mowgli furiously punches the air]'' Now, c'mon, let's shake, Cousin. ''[grabs Mowgli's hand and shakes it]''
:'''Mowgli:''' What do ya want '''''me''''' for?!
:'''King Louie:''' Word has grabbed my royal ear... ''[opens Mowgli's mouth]'' Have a banana. ''[shoots the banana into Mowgli's mouth]'' ....that you wanna stay in the jungle.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[mouth full; impressed]'' Stay in the jungle? I sure do.
:'''King Louie:''' Good. And ol' King Louie... ''[scats, then indicates himself with all of his pointy fingers]'' That's me. ...can fix it for you. ''[holds up 3 of his fingers]'' Have ''2'' bananas. ''[shoots the banana pair into Mowgli's mouth]'' Have we got a deal?
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[mouth full of bananas]'' Yes, sir. I'll do a-- ''[swallows]'' I'll do anything to stay in the jungle.
:'''King Louie:''' Well, then, I'll lay it on the line for you. ''[Begins singing &quot;I Wan'na Be Like You&quot;]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:'''Mowgli:''' Gee, cousin Louie, you're doing real good.
:'''King Louie:''' Now, here's your part of the deal, cuz. Lay the secret on me of man's red fire.
:'''Mowgli:''' But I don't know how to make a fire.
:'''King Louie:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ Now don't try to kid me, Man-Cub. I made a deal with you; what I desire is man's red fire to make my dream come true. Now give me the secret, Man-Cub. Come on, clue me what to do. Give me the power of man's red flower, so I can be like you. ♪''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[eavesdropping]'' '''''Fire?!?!?''''' So, '''''that's''''' what that scoundrel's after.
:'''Baloo:''' I'll tear him limb from limb! I'll beat him up! I'll-- I'll-- ''[starts dancing to the music]'' Yeah. Well, man, what a beat.
:'''Bagheera:''' Will you stop that silly beat business and listen? This will take brains, not brawn.
:'''Baloo:''' You better believe it, and I'm loaded with both!
:'''Bagheera:''' Would you listen?
:'''Baloo:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. ''[begins sneaking off into the music]''
:'''Bagheera:''' Now, while you create a disturbance, I'll rescue Mowgli. Got that?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[dancing away]'' I'm gone, man. Solid gone.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[alarmed]'' '''''NOT YET, BALOO!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bagheera:''' And furthermore, Baloo, Mowgli seems to have man's ability to get into trouble, and your influence hasn't been exactly--
:'''Baloo:''' Shh! Keep it down. You're gonna wake Little Buddy.
:'''Bagheera:''' Awww.
:'''Baloo:''' Well, he's had a big day. It was a real sockaroo. You know, it ain't easy learnin' to be like me.
:'''Bagheera:''' Puh! A disgraceful performance; Associating with those undesirable, scatterbrained apes. Huh. I hope Mowgli learned something from that experience.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[sighs, talks in his sleep]'' Scooby-dooby-dooby-doo.
:'''Baloo:''' Ha-ha. That's my boy.
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, nonsense. ''[Baloo puts leaves under Mowgli's head.]'' Baloo, come over here. I'd like to have a word with you.
:'''Baloo:''' A word? You gonna talk some more? ''[yawns]'' All right, what's up, Bagheera?
:'''Bagheera:''' Baloo, the Man-Cub must go back to the Man Village. ''[Baloo eats some grapes from a tree]'' The jungle is not the place for him.
:'''Baloo:''' I grew up in the jungle. ''[eats another piece of grapes]'' Take a look at me.
:'''Bagheera:''' Yes, just look at yourself. Look at that eye. ''[Baloo looks himself in the river and sees that he has a black eye.]''
:'''Baloo:''' Yeah. It's beautiful, ain't it?
:'''Bagheera:''' Frankly, you're a disreputable sight.
:'''Baloo:''' Well, you don't look exactly like a basket of fruit, yourself.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[looks himself in the river and sees that he also has a black eye.]'' D'oh! ''[clears his throat]'' Baloo, you can't adopt Mowgli as your son.
:'''Baloo:''' Why not?
:'''Bagheera:''' How... How can I put it? ''[Baloo eats a handful of meat]'' Baloo, birds of a feather should flock together. ''[Baloo shrugs]'' You wouldn't marry a panther, would you?
:'''Baloo:''' I don't know. ''[chuckling]'' Come to think of it, no panther ever asked me. ''[elbows Bagheera and chuckles]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[annoyed]'' Baloo, y-y-you've got to be serious about this.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[seriously]'' Oh, stop worryin', Baggy. Stop worryin', I'll take care of him.
:'''Bagheera:''' Yes, like you did when the monkeys kidnapped him, huh?
:'''Baloo:''' Can't a guy make one mistake?
:'''Bagheera:''' Not in the jungle. And another thing. Sooner or later, Mowgli will meet Shere Khan.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[suddenly very shocked]'' The tiger? What's '''''he''''' got against the kid?
:'''Bagheera:''' He hates man with a vengeance, you know that! Because he fears Man's gun and Man's fire.
:'''Baloo:''' But little Mowgli don't have those things.
:'''Bagheera:''' Shere Khan won't wait until he does. He'll get Mowgli while he's young and helpless. ''[raises a paw at Baloo]'' Just one swipe, and--!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[concerned]'' Oh! Well-- Well, what are we gonna do?
:'''Bagheera''' ''[seeing that Baloo is now just as worried about Mowgli as he is]'' We'll do what's best for the boy.
:'''Baloo:''' You better believe it. You name it, and I'll do it.
:'''Bagheera:''' Good. Then make Mowgli go to the Man Village.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[angrily]'' Are you out of your mind?! I promised him that he could stay here in the jungle with me!
:'''Bagheera:''' Well, that's just the point! As long as he remains with you, he's in danger. So, it's up to you.
:'''Baloo:''' Why me?!
:'''Bagheera:''' B-B-B-Because he won't listen to me!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[humbled]'' But I love that kid. ''[sniffles]'' I love him like he was my own cub.
:'''Bagheera''' Then think of what's best for Mowgli, and not yourself.
:'''Baloo:''' But-- Well, can't-- Well, can't I wait until morning?
:'''Bagheera:''' It's morning now. Go on, Baloo.
:''[An emotional Baloo sighs and walks towards Mowgli before looking back at Bagheera with a choked-up facial expression. Bagheera understands that it's really hard for him, but he urges him with a nod.]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[sighs; he isn't sure how to tell Mowgli the difficult truth]'' Oh, boy. Mowgli? Mowgli. Um, it's time to get up.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[wakes up with a yawn]'' Oh, hi, Baloo.
:'''Baloo:''' Hi. Hey, rub that old sleep outta your eyes. You and me, we got a long walk ahead of us.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[not really noticing that Baloo is now looking melancholy]'' Swell! Gee, we'll have lots of fun together!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[sadly]'' Sure, yeah. Yeah. All right, let's hit the trail, kid. See ya 'round, Bagheera.
:'''Mowgli:''' Well, good-bye, Bagheera. Me and Baloo, we've got things to do.
:'''Bagheera:''' Goodbye, Man-Cub. And good luck.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mowgli:''' Come on, Baloo. ''[imitating Baloo's sentence about &quot;Bare Necessities&quot;]'' All we've gotta do is... ''[singing]'' ''♪ Look for the Bare Necessities, some good ol' Bare Necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife. I mean the Bare Necessities! That's way a bear can rest at ease, with just the Bare Necessities of life. ♪'' ''[throw the banana to Baloo]'' Yeah! ''[singing]'' ''♪ I'll live here in the Jungle all my life! ♪'' Yeah, man! I like being a bear. ''[Baloo looks worried holds the banana]'' Where are we going, Baloo?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[throw the banana off the ground]'' Well, ah... it's a... um, well it's sort of new and, uh--
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[holding a Baloo's paw]'' Oh, I don't care, as long as I'm with you.
:''[the &quot;My Own Home&quot; theme plays in background again]''
:'''Baloo:''' Mowgli, look buddy, there's something I've got to tell you.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[chasing a butterfly]'' Tell me what, Baloo?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[sighs; rubbing his neck, and scratches his chest]'' Oh, gee whiz. Now, how did ol' Baggy put it's? ''[happily realizes what will Bagheera saids]'' Uh, uh, Mowgli... Ha! You wouldn't marry a panther, would you?
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I don't even know what you're talking about. ''[catches a butterfly, misses]''
:'''Baloo:''' Mowgli, don't you realize that you're ''human?''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[started to playful fight Baloo again]'' I'm not anymore, Baloo. I'm a bear like you!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[nervously]'' Little buddy, look, listen to me.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[playful fighting Baloo's tummy]'' Come on! Come on, Baloo!
:'''Baloo:''' Now Mowgli, stop it now, now hold still. ''[grabs Mowgli's hands]'' I wa-- I wanna tell you something, now listen to me!
:'''Mowgli:''' What's the matter, ol' papa bear?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[still sadly]'' Look Mowgli, I've been trying to tell you, I've been trying all morning to tell you. '''''I'VE GOT TO TAKE YOU BACK TO THE MAN VILLAGE!'''''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[shocked, alarmed]'' '''''THE MAN VILLAGE?!?'''''
:'''Baloo:''' Now look, kid, I can explain...
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[backs up slowly]'' But-But you said we were partners.
:'''Baloo:''' Now believe me, kid, I--
:'''Mowgli:''' You're just like... like '''''old Bagheera!'''''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[angrily]'' Now, ''just'' a minute! ''That's'' going too far! ''[Mowgli runs off in the opposite direction, and Baloo tries to calling for him]'' Hey, Mowgli, where are you going? Wait a minute! Stop! Wait! '''''Wait!''''' Listen to ol' Baloo! Mowgli? ''Mowgli?'' Mowgli! ''[Mowgli flees away, Baloo feeling hurt and betrayed by him]'' Mowgli! ''Mowgli!''  
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[runs up to Baloo after hearing him calling for Mowgli]'' Now, what's happened? 
:'''Baloo:''' Well, you're, you're-- You're not gonna believe me, Bagheera, but look-- Now, I used the same words you did, and he ran out on me! 
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[stammering]'' W-Well, don't just stand there! Let's separate! W-We've got to find him! ''[runs off in the opposite direction]''
:'''Baloo:''' Oh, if anything happens to that little guy, I'll ''never'' forgive myself. I ''gotta'' find him. ''Mowgli!'' Mowgli!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shere Khan the Tiger appearing prowling in the grass. Shere Khan comes close to a Bambi's mother deer grazing, lies down ready to pounce, but Colonel Hathi and the other elephants trumpets and deer runs away.]''
:'''Elephants:''' ''[march and sing]'' ''♪ Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four. Keep it up, two, three-- ♪''
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[furiously]'' What a beastly luck! Confound that ridiculous ''Colonel'' Hathi!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Col. Hathi and the Jungle Patrol are marching]''
:'''Bagheera:''' Stop! Wait a minute. ''[bellows]'' '''''HA-A-A-A-A-A-A-LT!'''''
:''[The Jungle Patrol abruptly stops]''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' '''''Oh'''! '''Oh!''''' Who said, &quot;Halt!&quot;? '''''I''''' give the commands around here. Now, speak up. Who was it?
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, it was me, Colonel.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' What do you mean, sir? Taking over my command? Highly irregular, you know.
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, Colonel, I'm sorry, but, but I need your help.
:''[Shere Khan is seen spying on them]''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Oh, absolutely impossible! We're on a cross-country march!
:'''Bagheera:''' But it's an emergency, Colonel. The Man-Cub must be found.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Man-Cub? What Man-Cub?
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[cocks his left ear while eavesdropping their private chat from afar]'' How interesting.
:'''Bagheera:''' The one who I was taking to the Man Village.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Good. That's where he belongs. Now, sir, if you don't mind, we'd like to get on with the march.
:'''Bagheera:''' No, no-no, you-you don't understand, Hathi. He is lost. He ran away.
:'''Shere Khan:''' How delightful.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Well, it serves the whippersnapper right.
:'''Bagheera:''' But, but Shere Khan, the Tiger, he's sure to pick up the Man-Cub's trail.
:''[Shere Khan nods his head, agreeing with Bagheera.]''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[laughs]'' Shere Khan. Nonsense, old boy. Shere Khan isn't within miles from here. ''[Shere Khan shakes his head in disagreement, and chuckles evilly, as if saying &quot;That's what '''you''' think.&quot;]'' Oh, sorry, Bagheera. Fortunes of war, and all that sort of thing, you know.
:'''Winifred:''' ''[angrily storms towards Hathi, with Hathi Jr. following her]'' This has gone far enough. Far enough! ''[to Hathi]'' Now, just a minute, you pompous old windbag!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Winifred! What are you doing out of ranks?
:'''Winifred:''' Never mind. ''[indicating Hathi Jr.]'' How would you like to have '''''our''''' boy lost and alone in the jungle?
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Our son? Alone? But, Winifred, old girl, that's an entirely different matter!
:'''Winifred:''' Huh!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Different, entirely.
:'''Winifred:''' That little boy is no different than our own son. Now, '''''you''''' help find him, or '''''I'm''''' taking over command!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' '''''WHAT?! A female leading my herd?!''''' Utterly preposterous!
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' Pop, the Man-Cub and I are friends. He'll get hurt if we don't find him. Please, Pop, sir? Please?
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[smiles]'' Now, don't you worry, Son. Your father had a plan in mind all the time.
:'''Winifred:''' ''[scoffs; sarcastically]'' '''''Sure''''' you did.
:'''Col. Hathi''': ''[gets shocked at Winifred's sarcasm, but regains composure, and clears throat]'' Troopers! Company, left face! ''[the elephants turn around in a military fashion]'' Volunteers for a special mission will step one pace forward. ''[the elephants step back; Elephant #3 is still chewing, but stops and backs up; Hathi sees the elephants and chuckles]'' That's what I like to see; Devotion to duty. Now, you volunteers will find the lost Man-Cub.
:'''Bagheera''': Oh, thank you, Colonel. Now, there's no time to lose.
:'''Col. Hathi''': Yes, yes. ''[to Bulger]'' Uh, Bugler, when the Man-Cub is sighted, you will sound your trumpet three times.
:'''Bugler Elephant''': Yes, sir. ''[trumpets loudly, but Hathi abruptly stops him.]''
:'''Col. Hathi''': Shh! Not now, soldier.
:'''Bugler Elephant''': ''[nasally]'' Sorry, sir.
:'''Col. Hathi''': ''[to Lieutenant]'' Lieutenant, our strategy shall be the element of surprise. ''[whispers]'' You will take one squad, and cover the right flank.
:'''Lieutenant:''' ''[whispers]'' Yes, sir.
:'''Col. Hathi''': ''[whispers]'' And I shall take the other squad on the '''''left''''' flank. Very well. ''[bellows]'' '''''COMPANY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y...''''' ''[bellow echoes]'' '''''FORWARD, MARCH!'''''
:'''Shere Khan''': Element of surprise? Ho. I say. ''[chortles]'' And now, for '''''my''''' rendezvous with the little lost Man-Cub.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mowgli walking aimlessly alone in the Jungle. Kaa picks Mowgli with his tail from the ground and raises to the branch he is on]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[surprised]'' Kaa, it's you!
:'''Kaa:''' Yesss, Man-Cub, so nice to see you again. Sss-sss-sss!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily pushing Kaa away again.]'' Oh, go away. Leave me alone.
:'''Kaa:''' ''[trying to get Mowgli to his hypnosis look into his eyes]'' Let me look at you. ''[Mowgli turns away from Kaa's eyes]'' You don't ''want'' me to look at you? Then you look at me. ''[hypnotize Mowgli with his eyes, and looks away]''
:'''Mowgli:''' No, sir! ''[Kaa wrap his tail to him]'' I know what you're trying to do-- Kaa!
:'''Kaa:''' You do? Uh, I mean... you don't trust me.
:'''Mowgli:''' No!
:'''Kaa:''' Then there's nothing I can do to help.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[untied Kaa's tail with his leg]'' You want to help me?
:'''Kaa:''' ''[he sneaks Mowgli behind, and now waving agreement]'' Ss-certainly. I can see to it that you never to leave this jungle.
:'''Mowgli:''' How could you do that?
:'''Kaa:''' Hmm? Oh, I have my own ss-subtle little ways. ''[chuckles]'' But first, you must trust me.
:''[Kaa stares at Mowgli with his eyes, and staring away]''
:'''Mowgli:''' I don't trust anyone anymore.
:''[Kaa now struggles with his coils to push Mowgli off his head]''
:'''Kaa:''' I don't blame you. I'm not like those so-called fair-weather friends of yours. You can believe in me. ''[Kaa finally gets to see into Mowgli's eyes long enough; singing]'' ''♪ Trust in me. Just in me. Shut your eyes. And trust in me. ♪'' ''[hold Mowgli's forehead with his tail]'' Hold still, please. ''[singing]'' ''♪ You can sleep. Safe and sound. Knowing I...am around. Slip into silent slumber. Sail on a silver mist. Slowly and surely your senses. Will cease to resist. ♪'' ''[Mowgli snores while standing on his head on the tip of Kaa's tail]'' You're snoring.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[half-asleep]'' Sorry.
:'''Kaa:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ Trust in me, and just in me. [Shere Khan appears below and listens] Shut your eyes, and just in me. ♪''  
:''[Kaa has Mowgli wrapped in his coils as Shere Khan pulls Kaa’s tail like ringing a doorbell]''
:'''Kaa:''' Ooh! Oh, now what? I'll be right down. ''[gets down from the tree almost completely]'' Yes? Yes? Who is it?
:'''Shere Khan:''' It's me, Shere Khan. Uh, I'd like a word with you, if you don't mind.
:'''Kaa:''' Shere Khan. What a surprise.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Yes, isn't it? I just dropped by. Uh, forgive me if I've interrupted anything.
:'''Kaa:''' Oh, no, no. Nothing at all.
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[his claws pop out from his paw, and he drums on the ground with them]'' I thought perhaps that you were entertaining someone up there in your coils.
:'''Kaa:''' Coils? Someone? Oh, no. I was just curling up for my siesta.
:'''Shere Khan:''' But you were singing to someone. ''[grabs hold of Kaa's throat]'' Who is it, Kaa?
:'''Kaa:''' ''[choking like mad]'' Uh, who? ''[coughs]'' Oh, no. No. I was just...singing to myself.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Indeed.
:'''Kaa:''' Yes. You see, I have... ''[gulps]'' ...trouble with my sssinuses.
:'''Shere Khan:''' What a pity. ''[releases Kaa's neck and gently pins him to the ground]''
:'''Kaa:''' Oh, you have no idea. It's simply terrible. I can't eat. I can't sssleep. So, I sssing myself to sleep. You know, self-hypnosis? ''[smiles deviously, brings his head close to Shere Khan's face]'' Let me show you how it works. ''[He uses his hypnosis technique with his eyes]'' ''♪ Tru-u-u-ust in me-- ♪''
:''[Shere Khan pushes Kaa away and pins his head to the ground, unaffected]''
:'''Shere Khan:''' Oh, no, I can't be bothered with that. I have no time for that sort of nonsense.
:'''Kaa:''' SS-S-Some other time? Perhaps?
:'''Shere Khan:''' Perhaps. But at the moment, I'm searching for a Man-Cub.
:'''Kaa:''' Man-Cub? What Man-Cub?
:'''Shere Khan:''' The one who's lost. Now, where do you suppose he could be?
:'''Kaa:''' Search me. ''[He closes his mouth for telling Shere Khan to search Mowgli on his tentacles]''
:'''Shere Khan:''' That's an excellent idea. ''[chuckles]'' I'm sure that you wouldn't mind showing me your coils, would you, Kaa?
:'''Kaa:''' Certainly not. ''[lowers his tail]'' Nothing here...and nothing in here. ''[his tail pointing to his mouth open, and Shere Khan hears Mowgli snoring. Alarmed, he starts snorting and coughs.]'' My sinuses.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Hmm. Indeed. And now, how about the middle?
:'''Kaa:''' The middle? Oh, the middle. ''[lowering the middle leaving Mowgli on the tree trunk spinning around and showing Shere Khan the middle of his coils and then getting tickled]'' Absolutely nothing in the middle.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Hmm. Really? Well, if you do just happen to see the Man-Cub, you will inform me first. Understand? ''[scratching Kaa's neck gently]''
:'''Kaa:''' ''[gulps]'' I get the point. ''[spinning himself into a bow with his head on top]'' Cross my heart, hope to die.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Good show. And now, I must continue my search for the helpless little lad. ''[leaves]''
:'''Kaa:''' Ooh, who does he think he's fooling? &quot;The helpless little lad.&quot; Ooooh, he gives me the ''sh-sh-sh-shivers.'' ''[Kaa's shivering unintentionally wakes up Mowgli]'' Picking on that poor, little, helpless boy. ''[sighs, but smiles]'' Oh, yes. Poor, little, helpless boy. ''[Mowgli pushes the rest of Kaa off the branches and sends him falling comically to the ground yet again, in the same exact manner]'' Ooh!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[climbs down the tree]'' You told me a lie, Kaa! You said that I could trust you!
:'''Kaa:''' It's like you said; you can't trust anyone! ''[tries to strike Mowgli, only to again be caught in by a knot in his tail; when he pulls it out, his body comes back like an accordion]'' If I never see that s-ss-skinny little shrimp again, it will be too s-s-s-soon.  Ooh, my s-s-s-sacroiliac.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The vultures sitting on a dead tree.]''
:'''Buzzy:''' ''[yawns]'' Hey, Flaps. What we gonna do?
:'''Flaps:''' I don't know. What'cha wanna do?
:'''Ziggy:''' I've got it! Let's flap over to the east side of the jungle. They've always got a bit of action, a bit of a swingin' scene, all right!
:'''Buzzy:''' Aw, come off it. Things are right dead all over.
:'''Ziggy:''' You mean that you wish they were! ''[They all laugh, except for Dizzy]''
:'''Dizzy:''' Very funny.
:'''Buzzy:''' OK. So, what we gonna do?
:'''Flaps:''' I don’t know. What'cha wanna do?
:'''Buzzy:''' Look, Flaps. First I say, &quot;What we gonna do?&quot; Then you say, &quot;I don't know. What'cha wanna do?&quot; Then I say, &quot;What we gonna do?&quot; Then you say, &quot;What'cha wanna do?&quot; &quot;What we gonna do? What you want...&quot; Let's do ''something!''
:'''Flaps:''' Okay. What'cha wanna do?
:'''Buzzy:''' ''[annoyed]'' Oh, blimey. There you go again, the same notes again!
:'''Ziggy:''' I've got it! This time, I've ''really'' got it!
:'''Buzzy:''' So, you got it. So, what we gonna do?
:'''Dizzy:''' ''[spots Mowgli approaching]'' Hold it, lads. Look. Look what's coming our way.
:'''Flaps:''' Hey, what in the world is that?
:'''Ziggy:''' What a crazy-looking bunch of bones.
:'''Dizzy:''' Yeah, and they're all walking about by themselves. ''[they all laugh]''
:''[They look at Mowgli who sits down on a stone]''
:'''Buzzy:''' So, what are we gonna do?
:'''Flaps:''' I don't know. Hey, now, don't start ''that'' again!
:'''Ziggy:''' ''[Pushing the others off the tree]'' C'mon, lads. C'mon. Let's have some fun with this little fella. This Little Bloke, eh?
:''[They all fly down to Mowgli]''
:'''Flaps:''' ''[feeling Mowgli's legs]'' Blimey! He's got legs like a stork, he has.
:'''Buzzy:''' Like a stork, heh-heh, but he ain't got no feathers, he ain't.
:''[Vultures laugh, Mowgli feeling hurt when he tears]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Go ahead. Laugh. I don't care.
:''[He walks away]''
:'''Dizzy:''' What's wrong with him?
:'''Flaps:''' I think we overdid it.
:'''Dizzy:''' We were just having a bit of fun, that's all.
:'''Buzzy:''' Aw, just look at him. What a poor little fella. You know, he must be down on his luck.
:'''Dizzy:''' Yeah, or he wouldn't be in our neighbourhood.
:''[Buzzy tries to catch up Mowgli]''
:'''Buzzy:''' Hey, new kid! Wait a minute! Hey!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[sadly]'' Just leave me alone.
:'''Buzzy:''' Oh, come on, what's wrong? ''You'' know, you look like you haven't got a friend in the world.
:'''Mowgli:''' I haven't.
:'''Dizzy:''' ''[indicating Mowgli's parents]'' Haven't you got a mother or a father?
:'''Mowgli:''' No. Nobody wants me around.
:'''Buzzy:''' Yeah, we know how you feel.
:'''Dizzy:''' Nobody wants us around, either.
:'''Buzzy:''' We may look a bit shabby, but we've got hearts.
:'''Dizzy:''' And feelings, too.
:'''Buzzy:''' ''[smiles]'' And just to prove it to you, we're gonna let you join our little group.
:'''Flaps:''' ''[honored]'' Kid, we'd like to make you an honorary vulture.
:'''Mowgli:''' Thanks, but I-- I'd rather be on my own alone.
:'''Buzzy:''' Uh, now look, kid, ''everybody's'' got to have ''friends.'' ''[to vultures]'' Hey, fellas, are we his friends? ''[Begins sings &quot;That's what friends are for&quot;]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[applauds]'' Bravo. Bravo. An extraordinary performance. ''[evilly]'' And thank you for detaining my victim.
:'''Flaps:''' Uh, d-don't mention it... ''[gulps]'' ...Your Highness.
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[chuckles]'' Boo!
:''[the Vultures get scared of Shere Khan]''
:'''Dizzy:''' Let's get out of here!
:'''Buzzy:''' Give me room! Gangway! ''[to Mowgli]'' Run, friend! Run!
:'''Mowgli:''' Run? Why should ''I'' run?
:'''Shere Khan:''' Why should you run? Could it be possible that you don't know who I am?
:'''Mowgli:''' I know you, all right. You're Shere Khan.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Precisely. ''[pops his claws out of his right paw]'' Then you should also know that ''everyone'' runs from Shere Khan. ''[pokes Mowgli's chin with his right paw]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily pushes Shere Khan's paw away]'' You don't scare me! I won't run from anyone!
:'''Shere Khan:''' Ah, you have spirit for one so small. And such spirit is deserving of a sporting chance. Now, I'm going to close my eyes, and count to 10. It makes the chase more interesting...for me. 1... ''[Mowgli looks for something to defend himself with as Shere Khan continues counting]''...2... ''[Mowgli spots something and goes over to retrieve it.]'' ...3... ''[As Mowgli picks up a stick, Shere Khan begins to suspect something.]'' ...4... ''[Mowgli prepares to defend himself]'' You're trying my patience. ''[counts faster just as Baloo arrives]'' 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
:''[Shere Khan leaps at Mowgli with a loud roar, Mowgli loses all of his nerve at the sight of this fearsome creature; Shere Khan almost catches Mowgli until Baloo grabs him by the tail]''
:'''Baloo:''' Run, Mowgli, run!
:'''Shere Khan''': Let go, you big oaf!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[scared]'' Ooh! Take it easy! Take it-- Ooh! H-Hold it! Hold it! Whoa! Slow down! ''[Shere Khan tries to bite him]'' Whoa! Yeow! Whoa! Slow! Easy, now! Ooh! Whoa, whoa, easy!
:'''Buzzy:''' He's got a tiger by the tail, he has.
:'''Dizzy:''' And he'd better hang on, too.
:''[Baloo hides beside a tree, but Shere Khan bites him in the butt]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[screams in agony]'' '''''YEOW!!!!'''''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[hits Shere Khan with a thick twig in retaliation]'' Take that, you big bully! 
:'''Flaps:''' Let 'im have it again, kid! Hit 'im again, kid! Go on!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[starts to flee as Shere Khan chases him, but Baloo grabs Shere Khan's tail]'' Baloo, help me!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[he hangs over a tree branch, shocked, and turns around to Shere Khan chases Mowgli]'' '''''OOHH!''''' ''[stammers]'' Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! ''[as he runs, Shere Khan roars, and Baloo gets a bumpy slide on the ground]'' Somebody do something with that kid.
:'''Ziggy:''' Come on, lads!
:''[Flaps and Ziggy have just saved Mowgli]''
:'''Buzzy:''' He's safe now! ''[laughs]'' You can let go, Baloo.
:'''Baloo:''' Are you kiddin'? There's teeth on the other end.
:''[Baloo hanging over a branch, Shere Khan gets Baloo on the ground before him, and Shere Khan throws Baloo on the ground]''
:'''Shere Khan:''' I’ll kill you for this.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[Flaps and Buzzy are holding him]'' Let go! Baloo needs help!
:''[Suddenly, a thunderclap is heard and lightning strikes a tree, splitting it in half and catches fire]''
:'''Buzzy:''' Fire! That's the only thing that Ol' Stripes is afraid of.
:'''Flaps:''' You get the fire, we'll do the rest.
:''[Mowgli picks up a fire branch, Shere Khan knocks Baloo out]''
:'''Buzzy, Dizzy, Flaps &amp; Ziggy:''' '''''CHARGE!!'''''
:''[Buzzy, Dizzy, Flaps &amp; Ziggy hover Shere Khan and laugh]''
:'''Flaps:''' Punch and blow!
:'''Shere Khan:''' Stay out of this, you mangy fools!
:'''Buzzy:''' Yeah, yeah! ''[ducks during Shere Khan's attack]'' Missed me a mile, he did! ''[vultures laughs, Mowgli try to get the fire branch, Flaps pulls a Shere Khan's whiskers]'' Yeah, pull his blinkin' whiskers!
:'''Flaps:''' He's a bloomin' pussycat is! 
:''[Mowgli takes a burning branch and ties it to Shere Khan's tail]''
:'''Dizzy:''' Look behind you, chum.
:''[Shere Khan gasps, he panic runs away, getting burnt by the fire on every step, and flees away]''
:'''Buzzy:''' Well, that was the last of him.
:''[they vultures laughs]''
:'''Ziggy:''' Old stripes took off like a flaming comet, idiot.
:'''Buzzy:''' Well, come on, let's go congratulate our friend.
:'''Dizzy:''' ''[approaching]'' Hold it, fellas. Now's not the time for it. Look.
:''[Mowgli comes to Baloo, who is lying without signs of life has [[w:Death|died]] at the paws of Shere Khan]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Baloo? Baloo, get up. Oh please, get up. Oh.  
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[appears, sadly]'' Mowgli, try to understand.
:'''Mowgli:''' Bagheera, what's the matter with him?
:'''Bagheera:''' You've got to be brave, like Baloo was.
:'''Mowgli:''' Y-You don't mean--? Oh, no. Baloo.
:'''Bagheera:''' Now, now. I know how you feel. But you must remember, Mowgli: ''[quotes John 15:13 from the Holy Bible]'' &quot;Greater love hath no one than he who lays down his life for his friend.&quot; ''[As the panther speaks, Baloo opens his eyes, alive and well.]'' When great deeds are remembered in this jungle, one name will stand above all others; our friend Baloo the Bear.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[sniffling]'' He's crackin’ me up.
:'''Bagheera:''' The memory of Baloo's sacrifice and bravery will forever be engraved on our saddened hearts.
:'''Baloo:''' Beautiful.
:'''Bagheera:''' This spot where Baloo fell will always be a hallowed place in the jungle, for there lies one of nature's noblest creatures.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[still sniffling]'' I wish that my mother could've heard this.
:'''Bagheera:''' It's best we leave now. Come along, Man-Cub.
:'''Baloo:''' Hey, don't stop now, Baggy, you're doin' great! There's more! Lots more!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[sees Baloo still alive and is furious]'' '''''WHY, YOU.... BIG.... FRAUD!!!!''''' You.... You-You-You four-flusher! I-I am fed up!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[hugs Baloo]'' Baloo! You're all right!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[laughs]'' Who, me? Sure, I am! Never felt... better.
:''[Vultures laugh happily]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[laughs in relief]'' You sure had us worried.
:'''Baloo:''' Aw, I was just takin' 5. Y'know, like, playin' it cool. Heh! Yeah, but he was too easy.
:'''Mowgli:''' Good ol' Papa Bear!
:'''Dizzy:''' It's going to be a bit dull without that Little Bloke, isn't it?
:'''Buzzie:''' Yeah. So, what are we gonna do?
:'''Flaps:''' I don't know. Hey, now don't start ''that'' again!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Dissolve to Baloo, Mowgli and Bagheera walking]''
:'''Baloo:''' Hey Baggy, too bad you missed the action. You should have seen how I made a sucker out ol' stripes with that left up in his face. ''[fists Bagheera's face]'' Boom, boom, I was giving him '''''wham'''''! ''[to Mowgli]'' You know some, we're good sparring partners.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[imitating Baloo's sentence]'' You better believe it!
:'''Baloo:''' Yes, sir! Nothing that nobody is ever gonna come between us again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mowgli sees the girl from the Man Village for the first time]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Look. What's that?
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, it's the Man Village.
:'''Mowgli:''' No, no. I mean '''''that'''''.
:'''Baloo:''' Forget about those. They ain't nothin’ but trouble.
:'''Mowgli:''' Just a minute. I've never seen one before.
:'''Baloo:''' So you've seen one. So let's go.
:'''Mowgli:''' I'll be right back. I want a better look.
:'''Baloo:''' Mowgli, wait a minute!
:'''Bagheera:''' Ah, Baloo. Let him have a better look.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shanti drops her pot of water purposefully, pretending to do it by accident, and it rolls towards Mowgli]''
:'''Baloo:''' She did that on purpose!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smiling]'' Obviously.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Baloo:''' ''[concerned]'' Mowgli. Come back. Come back!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[encouragingly]'' Go on. Go on.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines; After Mowgli, falling in love with Shanti, enters the Man Village for the first time]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[stunned]'' He's hooked.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smiles]'' Ah, it was inevitable, Baloo. The boy couldn't help himself. It was bound to happen. Mowgli is where he belongs now.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[resigned]'' Yeah. I guess you're right. ''[smiles]'' But I still think that he'd have made one swell bear. ''[inhales]'' Well, c'mon, Baggy, buddy. Let's get back to where ''we'' belong, and get with the beat. ''[singing]'' ''♪ Look for the Bare Necessities, the simple Bare Necessities. ♪''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ Forget about your worries and your strife. ♪''
:'''Both:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ I mean the Bare Necessities! Ol' Mother Nature's recipes, that bring the Bare Necessities of life. ♪''

== Cast==
* [[w:Bruce Reitherman|Bruce Reitherman]] as Mowgli
* [[w:Phil Harris|Phil Harris]] as Baloo
* [[w:Sebastian Cabot (actor)|Sebastian Cabot]] as Bagheera
* [[w:Louis Prima|Louis Prima]] as King Louie
* [[w:George Sanders|George Sanders]] as Shere Khan
* [[w:Sterling Holloway|Sterling Holloway]] as Kaa
* [[w:J. Pat O'Malley|J. Pat O'Malley]] as Colonel Hathi/Buzzie
* [[w:Verna Felton|Verna Felton]] as Winifred
* [[w:Clint Howard|Clint Howard]] as Junior
* [[w:Chad Stuart|Chad Stuart]] as Flaps
* [[w:Lord Tim Hudson|Lord Tim Hudson]] as Dizzie
* [[w:John Abbott (actor, born 1905)|John Abbott]] as Akela
* [[w:Ben Wright (actor)|Ben Wright]] as Rama the Father Wolf
* [[w:Darleen Carr|Darleen Carr]] as The Girl (named Shanti in ''The Jungle Book 2'')
* [[w:Leo De Lyon|Leo De Lyon]] as Flunkey*
* [[w:Hal Smith (actor)|Hal Smith]] as The Slob Elephant*
* [[w:Digby Wolfe|Digby Wolfe]] as Ziggy*
* [[w:Skiles and Henderson|Bill Skiles and Pete Henderson]] as Monkeys*
* [[w:Thurl Ravenscroft|Thurl Ravenscroft]] as Colonel Hathi's crew
* [[w:Candy Candido|Candy Candido]] as Shere Khan (roaring)

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline|The Jungle Book (1967 film)}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}
* [http://disney.go.com/disneyvideos/animatedfilms/junglebook/ Official website]
* {{imdb title|id=0061852}}
* [http://www.toonopedia.com/junglebk.htm Don Markstein's Toonopedia: The Jungle Book]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Jungle Book, The}}
[[Category:1960s American animated films]]
[[Category:1967 films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:Wolfgang Reitherman films]]
[[Category:The Jungle Book films|Jungle Book 1]]</text>
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'''''[[w:The Jungle Book (1967 film)|The Jungle Book]]''''', is an animated 1967 film based on [[Rudyard Kipling]]'s ''Mowgli'' stories, was released in October [[w:1967 in film|1967]] by the [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Disney Studios]]. This best-known adaptation was producer [[Walt Disney]]'s last animated project. Disney released a sequel in 2003, ''[[The Jungle Book 2]]''.

{{center|'''The jungle is JUMPIN'!'''}}

== Baloo ==
* ''[after he, Bagheera, and Mowgli escape from King Louie and company]'' Whew! ''[laughs]'' Man, that's what I call a swingin' party!
* ''[after Bagheera tells Baloo that he is taking Mowgli back to the Man Village]'' Man Village? They'll ruin him! They'll make a man outta him!
* ''[after Mowgli climbs on Baloo's butt and tickles him with his feet]'' No. No, no. No, no. Now, you're ticklin'.
* ''[as he and Mowgli float down a river]'' Lemme tell you some'm, Li'l Britches: if you act like that bee acts, uh-uh. You're working too hard. And don't spend your time just looking around.... for something you want that can't be found.
* ''[yanks a pouty Bagheera's foot as he smirks]'' Come on, Baggy! Get with the beat! 
*''[furiously]'' Are you outta your mind? I promised him that he could stay here in the jungle with me!
* He's a dandy! ''[Playfully slaps Mowgli on the bottom which sends him rolling around and leaves him knocked out on the ground.]''
* ''[repeated line]'' You better believe it!

== Bagheera ==
* &quot;Pawpaw&quot;.... Ha! Of all the silly gibberish.
* Oh, no, it's Baloo! That shiftless, stupid jungle bum! 
* Now, come on! Up this tree. You'll be safer up there.

== Mowgli ==
*  ''['''Bagheera:''' So, you can look out for yourself, can you? Heh. So, you want to stay in the jungle, do you?]'' Yes, I want to stay in the jungle. ''['''Bagheera:''' D'oh. N-N-Now, for the last time, go to sleep!]''
* ''['''Colonel Hathi:''' I say. [pokes Mowgli's nose] What happened to your trunk?]'' ''[pushes stick away]'' Hey! Stop that! ''['''Colonel Hathi:''' [gasps and sputters in shock] A Man-Cub! Oh, this is treason! Sabotage! I'll have no Man-Cub my jungle!]'' ''[to Colonel Hathi]'' It's not ''your'' jungle!
* ''[to King Louie]'' But I dunno how to make fire.
* You told me a lie, Kaa. You said I could trust you.
* ''[angrily pushes Shere Khan's paw away]'' You don't scare me! I won't run from anyone!
* ''[to Kaa]'' Oh, go away and leave me alone!

==Kaa==
* It's like you s-said, you can't trus-s-s-t anyone!

== Other ==
* '''Kaa''': ''[after Mowgli learns he has been deceived by the snake]'' If I never see that skinny little shrimp again, it will be too soon. ''[slithering away]'' Oh, my s-ss-s-[[w:sacroiliac joint|sacroiliac]].
* '''Shere Khan''': ''[while Baloo holds his tail]'' Let go, you big oaf!
* '''Mowgli''': ''[angrily hitting Shere Khan's face with a stick]'' Take that, ya big bully!
* '''Akela''': ''[to Bagheera who volunteers to deliver Mowgli to the Man Village]'' So be it. Now, there's no time to lose. Good luck.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[first lines; as a narrator]'' Many strange legends are told of these jungles of India, but none so strange as the story of a small boy named Mowgli. It all began when the silence of the jungle was broken by an unfamiliar sound. ''[At the sound of a baby's cries, Bagheera stops at Baby Mowgli's boat]'' It was a sound that had never been heard before in this part of the jungle. ''[Bagheera looks at the boat with Baby Mowgli]'' It was a Man-Cub! If I had known how deeply I was to be involved, I would have obeyed my first impulse and walked away. ''[Bagheera turns back on the branch, but Baby Mowgli cries again, making him return. He looks down and Baby Mowgli looks at him playfully]'' This Man-Cub would have to have nourishment, and soon. It was many days' travel to the nearest Man Village, and without a mother's care, he would soon perish. Then, it occurred to me. A family of wolves I knew had been blessed with a litter of cubs. ''[the wolf pups play around their mother Raksha, Bagheera is looking at them from the bushes, Bagheera with Baby Mowgli watches from the bushes as the family of wolves walk into their lair and puts the baby boy right before the entrance. He goes back into the bushes and waits, but nothing happens, so he carefully sneaks back over and pushes the basket with his paw. The baby cries out in surprise and Bagheera, alarmed by this, runs away. The wolves come out and look at Baby Mowgli, and Raksha smiles down at him, who now giggles]'' I knew there'd be no problem with the mother, thanks to maternal instinct, but I wasn't so sure about Rama the father. ''[Rama comes from the jungle, sniffs suspiciously at the baby Man-Cub, sees the smiling face of Raksha, looks at Baby Mowgli playing with the wolf pups again, and smiles, too, and &quot;My Own Home&quot; starts in the background as the wolves take Baby Mowgli into the wolf lair. 10 years later...]'' 10 times the rains had come and gone, and I often stopped by to see how Mowgli the Man-Cub was getting along. He was a favorite with all the young wolf cubs of the pack. ''[Mowgli howls; Raksha and the four young wolves came out of the cave; Grey Brother and Leah playfully tackle and lick Mowgli]'' No Man-Cub was ever happier. And yet...I knew that someday, he would have to go back to his own kind. ''[scene switches to Council Rock on a misty, moonlit night, with howling]'' Then, one night, the Wolf Pack elders met at Council Rock, because Shere Khan, the tiger, had returned to their part of the jungle. This meeting had to change the Man-Cub's entire future.
:'''Akela:''' Shere Khan will surely kill the boy, and all who try to protect him. Now, are we all in agreement as to what must be done? ''[wolves solemnly nod]'' Now, it is my unpleasant duty to tell the boy's father. Rama. Uh, come over here, please.
:'''Rama:''' Yes, Akela?
:'''Akela:''' The Council has reached its decision. The Man-Cub can no longer stay with the pack. He must leave at once.
:'''Rama:''' ''[shocked]'' ''Leave?''
:'''Akela:''' I'm sorry, Rama. There is no other way.
:'''Rama:''' But-- But the Man-Cub is-- Well, he's like my own son! Surely, he's entitled to the protection of the pack.
:'''Akela:''' But, Rama, even the strength of the pack is no match for the tiger.
:'''Rama:''' But the boy cannot survive alone in the jungle.
:'''Bagheera:''' Akela, perhaps I can be of help.
:'''Akela:''' You, Bagheera? How?
:'''Bagheera:''' I know of a Man Village where he'll be safe. Mowgli and I have taken many walks into this jungle together, I'm sure he'll go with me.
:'''Akela:''' So be it. Now, there's no time to lose. Good luck.
:''[scene switches to Bagheera and Mowgli at night]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Bagheera... ''[tiredly stretches]'' ...I’m gettin' a little sleepy. Shouldn't we start back home?
:'''Bagheera:''' Mowgli, this time, we're not going back. I'm taking you to a Man Village.
:'''Mowgli:''' But why?
:'''Bagheera:''' Because Shere Khan has returned to this part of the jungle, and he has sworn to kill you.
:'''Mowgli:''' Kill me? But why would he wanna do that?
:'''Bagheera:''' He hates man, and Shere Khan is not going to allow you to grow up to become a man; just another hunter with a gun.
:'''Mowgli:''' Aw, we'll just explain to him that I'd never do a thing like that.
:'''Bagheera:''' Nonsense. No one explains anything to Shere Khan.
:'''Mowgli:''' Well, maybe so, but I'm not afraid. And besides, I--
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[interrupts Mowgli]'' Now, that's enough. We'll spend the night here. Things will look better in the morning. Man-Cub? Man-Cub! Now, come on. Up this tree. You'll be safer up there.
:'''Mowgli:''' Uh, I don't want to go back to the man-village.
:'''Bagheera:''' Go on. Up you go.
:'''Mowgli:''' That limb way up there?
:'''Bagheera:''' That's right. ''[Mowgli tries to climb the tree-trunk but can't]'' ''[chuckles]'' Is that all the better you can climb?
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[grunting]'' It's too big around! And besides, I don't have any claws!
:''[Bagheera helps and with some grunting, Mowgli scratches upside down a Bagheera's back, yelps, then climbs back on the Bagheera's back gets Mowgli on that limb. Bagheera helps Mowgli goes in the night on a tree branch.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' Now, get some sleep. We've got a long journey ahead us tomorrow.
:'''Mowgli:''' Uh, I wanna stay in the jungle.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smirks]'' Huh? Heh, you wouldn't last one day. ''[he yawns and lies down to sleep]''
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm not afraid. I-I can look after myself.
:''[Kaa the python then appears from the leaves, he smacks his lips when noticing Mowgli, looks towards Bagheera to see him sleeping. He then approaches Mowgli.]''
:'''Kaa:''' S-SS-Say, now! ''[Mowgli looks up unimpressed, scowls at Kaa, and then sticks his tongue out at him.]'' What have we here? ''[chuckles]'' It's a Man-Cub, a deeliss-ss-see-aws-ss-s Man-Cub.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily pushing Kaa away.]'' Oh, go away and leave me alone.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[sleeping]'' That's just what I should do, but I'm not. Now, now, now, ''please'' go to sleep, Man-cub!
:''[Kaa nods his head in agreement and begins to hypnotize Mowgli.]''
:'''Kaa:''' ''[imitating Bagheera's sentence]'' Yes-ss-s, Man-Cub. ''[singing]'' Please go to sleep. Please go to sleep. ''[sings this as tuned from &quot;Rock-a-Bye Baby&quot;]'' Sleep, little Man-Cub, res-ss-st in peas-ss-se.
:''[Kaa begins to wrap his coils around a hypnotized Mowgli.]''
:'''Kaa:''' S-SS-Sleep. S-SS-Sleep.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[moaning]'' Ba-Ba-Ba-Bagheera?
:''[Kaa wraps his tail tightly around Mowgli's throat, choking Mowgli, himself. Bagheera is still unaware at what's happening.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[sleeping]'' Oh, now, look, there's no use arguing anymore. Now, no more talk till morning.
:''[Kaa now completely has a fully hypnotized and smiling Mowgli wrapped around his coils.]''
:'''Kaa:''' ''[chuckles]'' He won't ''be'' here in the morning.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[glances at Mowgli and Kaa]'' Huh? Oh, yes, he will-- ''[suddenly realizes what is happening and fully wakes up; alarmed]'' '''KAA!!!! ''HOLD IT, KAA!''''' ''[just before Kaa is about to eat Mowgli, Bagheera angrily slaps Kaa's head onto another tree branch, and Kaa bangs his head on it. This makes Mowgli fully conscious and released from Kaa's coils.]''
:'''Kaa:''' Ohhh, my sinus-ss-s! ''[scowls at Bagheera and moves forward to him]'' You have just made a s-ss-serious mistake, my friend. A very, s-ss-stupid--
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[nervously stammering]'' Now, Kaa, look, I was--
:'''Kaa:''' --mis-ss-stake! ''[Bagheera looks Kaa in his left eye as Kaa begins to hypnotize him]'' Look me in the eye when I'm speaking to you.
:'''Bagheera:''' Please, Kaa.
:'''Kaa:''' ''Both'' eyes, if you please. ''[hypnotizes the panther, and now Bagheera is fully hypnotized and smiling]'' You have just s-ss-sealed your doom. ''[Mowgli pushes Kaa's coils off the branch with his feet, causing the snake to comically fall from the tree]'' Ooooh.
:'''Mowgli:''' Look, ''Bagheera''! ''[points at Kaa]'' Look. ''Bagheera''! Wake up, ''Bagheera''! ''[smacks both his cheeks with his bare hands]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[wakes up]'' Uh, duh, wha--?
:'''Kaa:''' ''[slithering away, angrily]'' Just you wait till I get you in my coils! ''[suddenly stops because a knot on his tail gets stuck between a couple bamboo stems]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[laughs playfully]'' Bagheera, he's got a knot on his tail.
:'''Kaa:''' ''[mimics Mowgli, sarcastically]'' &quot;Hee-hee-hee! He's got a knot on his tail.&quot; ''[frees his tail, but that causes his whole body to come together like an accordion, then Kaa crawls away now with his bent coils]'' Ooooh, this is going to slow down my s-ss-slithering. ''[Mowgli laughs playfully]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smirks]'' So, you could look out for yourself, can you? Heh. So, you wanna stay in the jungle, do ya?
:'''Mowgli:''' Yes. I wanna stay in the jungle!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[annoyed]'' D'oh! N-NNow, for the last time.... ''[snaps and both half-smirks (on the right) and half-smiles (on the left)]'' ....go to sleep! ''[Mowgli pouts as he tries to get some sleep]'' Man-Cub, heh! Man-Cub. Ah. ''[They finally go to sleep and settle down for the night]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During the inspection of the Jungle Patrol]''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Company, left face! ''[elephants turn around in a military fashion]''
:'''Winifred:''' March, march, march. My feet are killing me.
:'''Elephant #1:''' ''[whispers]'' I’m putting in for a transfer to another herd.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Silence in the ranks! ''[he walks around the rank]'' Dress up that line. ''[Elephants raise there rears, he hits Winifred's rear with his cane, and she raise her rear]'' Pull it in, Winifred. ''[he walks back to front]'' Inspection, arms!
:''[Elephants stick their trunks out]''
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' ''[to Mowgli]'' Stick your nose out.
:'''Mowgli:''' Like this?
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' That's right.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[looking closely at a recruit’s trunk]'' Tsk, tsk, tsk. A dusty muzzle. ''[to elephant in question]'' Soldier, remember, in battle, that trunk can save your life. ''[taps trunk with cane]'' Take good care of it, my man.
:'''Elephant #2:''' Yes, sir!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Very good. Carry on. ''[the next recruit has dirty tusks and is lazily chewing on some vegetation until the Colonel clears his throat in serious annoyance]'' Let's have a little more spit and polish on those bayonets. ''[taps tusk with cane]''
:'''Elephant #3:''' Yes, sir!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''Esprit de corps!'' That's the way that I earned my commission in the Mahajarah's 5th Pachyderm Brigade. Back in '88, it was-- Or was it?
:'''Winifred:''' ''[whispering to another elephant]'' Here it comes. The &quot;Victoria Cross&quot; bit again.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' It was then I received the Victoria Cross, for bravery above and beyond the call of duty. ''[chuckles]'' Those were the days. Discipline! Discipline was the thing! ''[leans on his bamboo cane]'' It builds character and all that sort of thing, you know. ''[his cane snaps in half as he leans on it]'' Oh. Uh, where was I? Oh, yes. Inspection. ''[The next recruit is a rough-looking elephant with bent tusks and a black eye]'' Well, very good. ''[The next recruit is an elephant with a goofy-looking grin across his face]'' Wipe off that silly grin, soldier! This is the army. ''[The elephant's smile droops into a sad frown, making his tusks droop. The next recruit is focused on a fly buzzing around his face which lands on his trunk]'' Ahem. ''[swats the fly with his cane]'' Eyes front. ''[Next, the lieutenant, with a mop of hair]'' Tsk, tsk, tsk. Lieutenant, that haircut is not regulation. ''[messes the hair up]'' Rather on the gaudy side, don't you think? ''[Hathi swipes his cane across, giving the lieutenant a military-style flat-topped haircut]'' There. That's better. ''[Hathi looks to the left]'' And as for you-- ''[Realizes that he's talking to his son Hathi Jr. and looks down]'' Oh, there you are. ''[chuckles]'' Let's keep those heels together, shall we, son?
:'''Junior:''' OK, Pop--sir!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Yes, that's better. ''[turns to Mowgli]'' Well, a new recruit, eh? ''[chuckles and pokes Mowgli's nose with his cane]'' I say, what happened to your trunk?
:'''Mowgli:''' Hey! Stop that!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[gasps, sputters]'' A Man-Cub! ''[picking up Mowgli with his trunk]'' Oh, this is treason! Sabotage! I’ll have no Man-Cub in my jungle! ''[puts him down on ground]''
:'''Mowgli:''' It’s not ''your'' jungle!
:'''Bagheera:''' Hold it. Hold it! I can explain, Hathi.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''Colonel'' Hathi, if you please, sir.
:''' Bagheera:''' Oh, yes, yes. ''Colonel'' Hathi. The Man-Cub is with me. I'm taking him back to the Man Village.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' To stay?
:'''Bagheera:''' You have the word of Bagheera.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Good. And remember, an elephant never forgets. ''[mumbling, and Mowgli crosses his arms and frowns at him]'' Heh. I don't know what the army's coming to these days. These young whippersnappers, who do they think they are? ''[clears throat; all the elephants are dosing by now, but wake up as soon as Hathi commands]'' Let's get on with it. Right face! ''[bellows]'' '''''FORWARD, MARCH!'''''
:'''Winifred:''' Dear, haven't you forgotten something?
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Nonsense, Winifred, old girl. An elephant never forgets.
:'''Winifred:''' ''[about a Hathi Jr.]'' Well, you just forgot our '''''son.'''''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[he somethings realize to forgot what will happen to Junior]'' Uh, uh, son-- Son? ''[stammers]'' '''''SON?!''''' ''[he turns to see Hathi Jr. playing with Mowgli]'' Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, quite right. Heh-heh! To the rear, march!
:''[Elephants turns around to lead a Colonel Hathi's way, look for Hathi Jr. still playing with Mowgli]''
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' ''[to Mowgli]'' When I grow up, I'm gonna be a ''Colonel''. Just like my--
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[picking up Junior with his trunk]'' If I told you once, I've told you a thousand times--!
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' ''[seeing other elephants marching into Hathi's rear]'' Pop! Look out!
:''[The spectacular crash of the elephants, reused in [[Goliath II|Goliath II]] after Jungle Book now takes place. The lazily Elephant #3 chewing on some vegetation while stucking on a Hathi's troopers.]''
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' Gee, Pop. You forgot to say &quot;halt&quot;.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[laughing, then whispers to Bagheera on Colonel Hathi]'' He said that an elephant never forgets. ''[He laughs hysterically again and stops]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smirks]'' It's not funny. Now, let's get out of here before anything else happens.
:''[Bagheera and Mowgli leave]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Bagheera, where are we going?
:'''Bagheera:''' You're going back to the Man Village right now!
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm not going!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[losing his patience]'' Oh, yes, you are!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[grabbing hold of a tree]'' I'm stayin' right here!
:'''Bagheera:''' You're going if I have to drag you every step of the way!
:''[Bagheera grabs Mowgli by the loincloth with his teeth and tries to tug him away from the tree, but Mowgli refuses to let go.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[through clenched teeth]'' Let go, you!
:'''Mowgli:''' '''''You''''' let go of ''me!''
:''[Mowgli kicks Bagheera in the face. Bagheera pulls so hard that he loses his grip, and falls backward into the river. He tries to get out of the water, but accidentally hits his head on a log.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[angrily]'' Oh, that '''''does''''' it! I've '''''had''''' it, Man-cub. For now on, you're on your own. '''''Alone!'''''
:'''Mowgli:''' Don't worry about me.
:''[Bagheera leaves and Mowgli walks aimlessly for a while]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[still walking away]'' Ah. Foolish, Man-Cub.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[as Mowgli sits down near some rock with his head low until hears sounds from nearby bushes. Baloo the Bear appears comes in.]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[scat-singing]'' ''♪ Doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee dee-doo. Well, it's a doo-bah-dee-do, yes, it's a doo-bah-dee-do, I mean a doo-be doo-bee doo-be, doo-be doo-bee doo. And with-- ♪'' ''[stops singing; he spoked to sees Mowgli]'' Well, now. ''[chuckles]'' What have we here? ''[he sniffs Mowgli's hair, and Mowgli get really annoyed uncover his head down]'' Hmm. Hey! What a funny little bit of a-- ''[Mowgli slaps him in his nose]'' Oh!
:'''Mowgli:''' Go away!
:'''Baloo:''' Oh, boy! I've seen ''everything'' in these woods. Ooh, what have I run on? What a pretty thing '''''this''''' is!
:'''Mowgli:''' Leave me alone.
:'''Baloo:''' Well, now. ''[pat on Mowgli's back]'' That's pretty big '''''talk,''''' little britches.
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm big enough. ''[he starts hitting Baloo in the tummy repeatedly but Baloo doesn't almost notice that]''
:'''Baloo:''' Ha-ha.. tsk-tsk-tsk. Pitiful. Hey, kid, you need help, an ol' Baloo's gonna learn you to fight like a bear. Now, come on, I'm gonna show you. Grrr! ''[he starts to dance around and Mowgli too, mimicking Baloo's move]'' Ha-ha! Yeah. All right now kid, loosen up, get real loosen, then start to weave, ''weave'' a little, now move, that's it. Now give me a big bear growl, scare me! ''[Mowgli makes a barely audible growl]'' Tsk-tsk-tsk. Oh, boy. I'm talking about like a big bear!
:''[Baloo makes a growl which rocks the jungle to the bottom and even Bagheera who was walking away all this time hears it.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' He's in trouble. Why, I-I shouldn't have left him alone!
:''[Bagheera runs back to Mowgli]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily growls at Baloo]'' Grrr.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[anger roars loudly]'' '''''GRRR!!!!'''''
:'''Mowgli:''' Grrr!
:'''Baloo:''' A big one, right from the toes.
:'''Mowgli:''' How's that?
:''[Bagheera arrives and sees Baloo is dance fighting with Mowgli]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[off in the distance]'' Grrr!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[off-screen; laughs]'' Ya, you're getting it, kid!
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, no, it's Baloo! That shiftness stupid jungle bum!
:''[Baloo and Mowgli dance around again]''
:'''Baloo:''' Weave about, now look for an opening. Keep movin', keep-- ''[Mowgli takes some swings at Baloo's nose but misses; laughs]'' Ya, you're getting it, kid! ''[chuckles]'' Come on, that's it! ''[chuckles]'' He's a dandy! ''[Playfully slaps Mowgli on the bottom which sends him rolling around and leaves him knocked out on the ground.]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[chuckles]'' Fine teacher you are, Old Iron Paws.
:'''Baloo:''' Oh, thanks, Bagheera.
:'''Bagheera:''' Yeah, tell me, tell me after you know your pupil senseless, how do you expect him to remember the lesson, Hmm?
:''[Mowgli at this time already came to and sits on the ground, shaking head]''
:'''Baloo:''' Well, I-- I-- I didn't mean to... lay it on him so hard.
:''[Mowgli gets up and walks to Baloo, though kinda unsteadily]''
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm not hurt. '''''I'm''''' all right! I'm a lot tougher than some people ''think.''
:'''Baloo:''' You better believe it! Now let's go once more. Now, I want you to keep circlin' or I'm gonna knock your roof in again, you better keep movin'-- ''[Mowgli hits Baloo into lower jaw]'' Ooph! ''[playfully falls down]'' Hey! Right on the ''button!'' ''[Mowgli climbs on Baloo's butt, occasionally tickling him with his feet; laughing.]'' No. No, no. No, no. Now, you're ticklin'. ''[chuckling happily; Mowgli starts tickling him deliberately]'' Oh, no, no, no, no. No, we don't do that here, the chat-- Oh, no, you're ticklin', I-I can't stand tick-- ''[chuckling playfully hysterically]'' '''''HELP, BAGHEERA!'''''
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, boy. That's all he needs. More Confidence.
:'''Mowgli:''' Give up, Baloo?!
:'''Baloo:''' I give up, I told ya! ''[chuckles]'' Ooh, I give-- ''[Mowgli stops tickling him]'' Hey. ''[chuckles]'' You know something? You're all right, kid. What do they call you?
:'''Bagheera:''' Mowgli. And he's going back to the Man Village right now.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[shocked]'' Man Village? They'll ruin him! They'll make a man outta him!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[he notice Baloo want to stay in the Jungle]'' Oh, Baloo, I want to stay here with you!
:'''Baloo:''' Certainly you do.
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh? And just how do you think he will survive?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[mimics Bagheera, sarcastically]'' &quot;How do you think he will...&quot; What do you mean &quot;How do you think he...&quot; He's with ''me'', ain't he? And ''I'll'' learn him all I know.
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh? That shouldn't take too long.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Baloo glares at Bagheera and then turns to Mowgli at the Begins of &quot;The Bare Necessities&quot;]''
:'''Baloo:''' Look, now it's like this, little britches. All you gotta do is... ''[singing]'' ''♪ Look for the Bare Necessities, the simple Bare Necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife. I mean the Bare Necessities! Ol' Mother Nature's recipes, that bring the Bare Necessitites of life. Wherever I wander, wherever I roam. I couldn't be fonder of my big home. The bees are buzzin' in the tree to make some honey just for me. When you look under the rocks and plants, and take a glance at the fancy ants. Then maybe try a few... ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' You eat ants?
:'''Baloo''': ''[laughs]'' You better believe it. And you're gonna ''love'' the way they tickle.
:''[Rock almost falls on Mowgli]''
:'''Bagheera''': ''[stammers]'' '''MOWGLI, LOOK OUT!'''
:'''Baloo''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ The Bare Necessities of life will come to you. ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[trying to catch an ant]'' But when?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ They'll come to you. Look for the Bare Necessities, the simple Bare Necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife. I mean the Bare Necessities! That's why a bear can rest at ease with just the Bare Necessities of life. Now when you pick a pawpaw, or a prickly pear... ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[pointed prickling finger]'' Ow!
:'''Baloo''': ''[continue singing]'' ''♪ ...And you prick a raw paw. Well, next time, beware! Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw. When you pick a pear try to use the claw. But, you don't need to use the claw. When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw. Have I given you a clue? ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' Golly, thanks, Baloo!
:'''Bagheera''': &quot;Pawpaw&quot;.... Ha! Of all the silly gibberish.
:'''Baloo''': ''[yanks a pouty Bagheera's foot as he smirks]'' Come on, Baggy! Get with the beat! ''[singing]'' ''♪ The Bare Necessities of life will come to you. ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ They'll come to me! ♪''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ They'll come to you. ♪'' ''[Music from the song goes on through the whole following scratching scene]'' How 'bout scratchin' that old left shoulder while you're up there, Mowgli? ''[Mowgli scratches Baloo's back]'' Now just a hair lower. There, right there. That's it. Ahh... This is beautiful. That's good. Kid, we've got to get to tree, this calls for some ''big'' scratch.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[laughs]'' You're lots of fun, Baloo!
:''[Baloo is now scratching against a tree]''
:'''Baloo:''' Right on it. Yeah. That's delicious. Ahh... ooh! Just a little bit-- Mm... yeah... ha-ha! Ooh! ''[pulls tree from the ground finally, and scratches by it trunk with his back to the his chest]'' Mm... mmm... ha-ha... ooh. Yeah. ''[Baloo, satisfied, lets himself fall into a river]'' Oh, man, this is really livin'. ''[floats in a river]'' So just try and relax. Yeah. ''[Mowgli gets on his tummy]'' Cool it. Fall apart in my backyard. ''[Mowgli float down a river]'' Cause' lemme tell you some'm, Li'l Britches: if you act like that bee-acts, uh-huh. You're working too hard. And don't spend your time just looking around.... for something you want that can't be found. ''[singing]'' ''♪ When you find out you can live without it and go along not thinking about it. And I'll tell you something true. The Bare Necessities of life will come to you. ♪''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[annoyed, and turns walks away]'' Ahh... I give up. Well, I hope his luck holds out.
:'''Baloo:''' Mowgli, how 'bout you singing?
:'''Baloo and Mowgli:''' ''[both singing]'' ''♪ Look for the Bare Necessities, the simple Bare Necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife. ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' Yeah, man!
:''[the monkeys sees Mowgli and Baloo are singing in the float a river]''
:'''Both:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ I mean the Bare Necessities, that's why a bear can rest at ease. With just the Bare Necessities of life. ♪''
:'''Baloo:''' Yeah!
:'''Both:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ With just the Bare Necessities of Life. ♪''
:'''Mowgli:''' Yeah, man!
:''[At the end of &quot;The Bare Necessities&quot;]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[laughing]'' '''''Beautiful!''''' That's ''real'' jungle harmony.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[smiles]'' I like being a bear.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[smiles]'' That's my boy. And you're gonna make one swell bear. Why, you even sing like one!
 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After the monkeys have kidnapped Mowgli]''
:'''Baloo:''' Bagheera! ''[Cut to Bagheera]'' ''[off in the distance]'' '''''BAGHEERAAA!'''''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[Turns around as he hears Baloo yelling his name a mile away]'' Well, it's happened. Took a little longer than I thought, but it's happened. ''[Starts running back toward Baloo, who's struggling to climb up the cliff. Bagheera reaches the cliff]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[on the edge, screaming loudly]'' '''''BAAA-GEE-RAH!!!!!!!''''' ''[Baloo has screamed so loudly in Bagheera's face that the sound leaves him shaken. Baloo then realizes that Bagheera is in front of him]'' Oh, you heard me, huh?
:'''Bagheera:''' Mowgli? '''''Mowgli?''''' All right, what happened? Where's Mowgli?
:'''Baloo:''' They ambushed me; '''''thousands''''' of 'em! I jabbed with my left, then I swung with the right, and then I let--!
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, for the last time, what happened to Mowgli?
:'''Baloo:''' Like I told ya; them mangy monkeys carried him off!
:'''Bagheera:''' The Ancient Ruins? Oh, I hate to think about what will happen when he meets that King of theirs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''King Louie:''' Ha-ha! So, you're the Man-Cub? ''[rolls his eyes]'' Crazy.
:'''Mowgli:''' I'm not as crazy as you are. ''[to the monkeys]'' Put me down!
:''[A monkey lets go of Mowgli's ankles, and Mowgli lands flat on his face.]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily shaking a fist at the monkey]'' You cut that out!
:'''King Louie:''' ''[picks up Mowgli by his loincloth]'' Cool it, boy, and unwind yourself. ''[scat-sings to himself; Mowgli furiously punches the air]'' Now, c'mon, let's shake, Cousin. ''[grabs Mowgli's hand and shakes it]''
:'''Mowgli:''' What do ya want '''''me''''' for?!
:'''King Louie:''' Word has grabbed my royal ear... ''[opens Mowgli's mouth]'' Have a banana. ''[shoots the banana into Mowgli's mouth]'' ....that you wanna stay in the jungle.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[mouth full; impressed]'' Stay in the jungle? I sure do.
:'''King Louie:''' Good. And ol' King Louie... ''[scats, then indicates himself with all of his pointy fingers]'' That's me. ...can fix it for you. ''[holds up 3 of his fingers]'' Have ''2'' bananas. ''[shoots the banana pair into Mowgli's mouth]'' Have we got a deal?
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[mouth full of bananas]'' Yes, sir. I'll do a-- ''[swallows]'' I'll do anything to stay in the jungle.
:'''King Louie:''' Well, then, I'll lay it on the line for you. ''[Begins singing &quot;I Wan'na Be Like You&quot;]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:'''Mowgli:''' Gee, cousin Louie, you're doing real good.
:'''King Louie:''' Now, here's your part of the deal, cuz. Lay the secret on me of man's red fire.
:'''Mowgli:''' But I don't know how to make a fire.
:'''King Louie:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ Now don't try to kid me, Man-Cub. I made a deal with you; what I desire is man's red fire to make my dream come true. Now give me the secret, Man-Cub. Come on, clue me what to do. Give me the power of man's red flower, so I can be like you. ♪''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[eavesdropping]'' '''''Fire?!?!?''''' So, '''''that's''''' what that scoundrel's after.
:'''Baloo:''' I'll tear him limb from limb! I'll beat him up! I'll-- I'll-- ''[starts dancing to the music]'' Yeah. Well, man, what a beat.
:'''Bagheera:''' Will you stop that silly beat business and listen? This will take brains, not brawn.
:'''Baloo:''' You better believe it, and I'm loaded with both!
:'''Bagheera:''' Would you listen?
:'''Baloo:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. ''[begins sneaking off into the music]''
:'''Bagheera:''' Now, while you create a disturbance, I'll rescue Mowgli. Got that?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[dancing away]'' I'm gone, man. Solid gone.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[alarmed]'' '''''NOT YET, BALOO!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bagheera:''' And furthermore, Baloo, Mowgli seems to have man's ability to get into trouble, and your influence hasn't been exactly--
:'''Baloo:''' Shh! Keep it down. You're gonna wake Little Buddy.
:'''Bagheera:''' Awww.
:'''Baloo:''' Well, he's had a big day. It was a real sockaroo. You know, it ain't easy learnin' to be like me.
:'''Bagheera:''' Puh! A disgraceful performance; Associating with those undesirable, scatterbrained apes. Huh. I hope Mowgli learned something from that experience.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[sighs, talks in his sleep]'' Scooby-dooby-dooby-doo.
:'''Baloo:''' Ha-ha. That's my boy.
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, nonsense. ''[Baloo puts leaves under Mowgli's head.]'' Baloo, come over here. I'd like to have a word with you.
:'''Baloo:''' A word? You gonna talk some more? ''[yawns]'' All right, what's up, Bagheera?
:'''Bagheera:''' Baloo, the Man-Cub must go back to the Man Village. ''[Baloo eats some grapes from a tree]'' The jungle is not the place for him.
:'''Baloo:''' I grew up in the jungle. ''[eats another piece of grapes]'' Take a look at me.
:'''Bagheera:''' Yes, just look at yourself. Look at that eye. ''[Baloo looks himself in the river and sees that he has a black eye.]''
:'''Baloo:''' Yeah. It's beautiful, ain't it?
:'''Bagheera:''' Frankly, you're a disreputable sight.
:'''Baloo:''' Well, you don't look exactly like a basket of fruit, yourself.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[looks himself in the river and sees that he also has a black eye.]'' D'oh! ''[clears his throat]'' Baloo, you can't adopt Mowgli as your son.
:'''Baloo:''' Why not?
:'''Bagheera:''' How... How can I put it? ''[Baloo eats a handful of meat]'' Baloo, birds of a feather should flock together. ''[Baloo shrugs]'' You wouldn't marry a panther, would you?
:'''Baloo:''' I don't know. ''[chuckling]'' Come to think of it, no panther ever asked me. ''[elbows Bagheera and chuckles]''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[annoyed]'' Baloo, y-y-you've got to be serious about this.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[seriously]'' Oh, stop worryin', Baggy. Stop worryin', I'll take care of him.
:'''Bagheera:''' Yes, like you did when the monkeys kidnapped him, huh?
:'''Baloo:''' Can't a guy make one mistake?
:'''Bagheera:''' Not in the jungle. And another thing. Sooner or later, Mowgli will meet Shere Khan.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[suddenly very shocked]'' The tiger? What's '''''he''''' got against the kid?
:'''Bagheera:''' He hates man with a vengeance, you know that! Because he fears Man's gun and Man's fire.
:'''Baloo:''' But little Mowgli don't have those things.
:'''Bagheera:''' Shere Khan won't wait until he does. He'll get Mowgli while he's young and helpless. ''[raises a paw at Baloo]'' Just one swipe, and--!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[concerned]'' Oh! Well-- Well, what are we gonna do?
:'''Bagheera''' ''[seeing that Baloo is now just as worried about Mowgli as he is]'' We'll do what's best for the boy.
:'''Baloo:''' You better believe it. You name it, and I'll do it.
:'''Bagheera:''' Good. Then make Mowgli go to the Man Village.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[angrily]'' Are you out of your mind?! I promised him that he could stay here in the jungle with me!
:'''Bagheera:''' Well, that's just the point! As long as he remains with you, he's in danger. So, it's up to you.
:'''Baloo:''' Why me?!
:'''Bagheera:''' B-B-B-Because he won't listen to me!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[humbled]'' But I love that kid. ''[sniffles]'' I love him like he was my own cub.
:'''Bagheera''' Then think of what's best for Mowgli, and not yourself.
:'''Baloo:''' But-- Well, can't-- Well, can't I wait until morning?
:'''Bagheera:''' It's morning now. Go on, Baloo.
:''[An emotional Baloo sighs and walks towards Mowgli before looking back at Bagheera with a choked-up facial expression. Bagheera understands that it's really hard for him, but he urges him with a nod.]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[sighs; he isn't sure how to tell Mowgli the difficult truth]'' Oh, boy. Mowgli? Mowgli. Um, it's time to get up.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[wakes up with a yawn]'' Oh, hi, Baloo.
:'''Baloo:''' Hi. Hey, rub that old sleep outta your eyes. You and me, we got a long walk ahead of us.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[not really noticing that Baloo is now looking melancholy]'' Swell! Gee, we'll have lots of fun together!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[sadly]'' Sure, yeah. Yeah. All right, let's hit the trail, kid. See ya 'round, Bagheera.
:'''Mowgli:''' Well, good-bye, Bagheera. Me and Baloo, we've got things to do.
:'''Bagheera:''' Goodbye, Man-Cub. And good luck.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mowgli:''' Come on, Baloo. ''[imitating Baloo's sentence about &quot;Bare Necessities&quot;]'' All we've gotta do is... ''[singing]'' ''♪ Look for the Bare Necessities, some good ol' Bare Necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife. I mean the Bare Necessities! That's way a bear can rest at ease, with just the Bare Necessities of life. ♪'' ''[throw the banana to Baloo]'' Yeah! ''[singing]'' ''♪ I'll live here in the Jungle all my life! ♪'' Yeah, man! I like being a bear. ''[Baloo looks worried holds the banana]'' Where are we going, Baloo?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[throw the banana off the ground]'' Well, ah... it's a... um, well it's sort of new and, uh--
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[holding a Baloo's paw]'' Oh, I don't care, as long as I'm with you.
:''[the &quot;My Own Home&quot; theme plays in background again]''
:'''Baloo:''' Mowgli, look buddy, there's something I've got to tell you.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[chasing a butterfly]'' Tell me what, Baloo?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[sighs; rubbing his neck, and scratches his chest]'' Oh, gee whiz. Now, how did ol' Baggy put it's? ''[happily realizes what will Bagheera saids]'' Uh, uh, Mowgli... Ha! You wouldn't marry a panther, would you?
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I don't even know what you're talking about. ''[catches a butterfly, misses]''
:'''Baloo:''' Mowgli, don't you realize that you're ''human?''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[started to playful fight Baloo again]'' I'm not anymore, Baloo. I'm a bear like you!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[nervously]'' Little buddy, look, listen to me.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[playful fighting Baloo's tummy]'' Come on! Come on, Baloo!
:'''Baloo:''' Now Mowgli, stop it now, now hold still. ''[grabs Mowgli's hands]'' I wa-- I wanna tell you something, now listen to me!
:'''Mowgli:''' What's the matter, ol' papa bear?
:'''Baloo:''' ''[still sadly]'' Look Mowgli, I've been trying to tell you, I've been trying all morning to tell you. '''''I'VE GOT TO TAKE YOU BACK TO THE MAN VILLAGE!'''''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[shocked, alarmed]'' '''''THE MAN VILLAGE?!?'''''
:'''Baloo:''' Now look, kid, I can explain...
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[backs up slowly]'' But-But you said we were partners.
:'''Baloo:''' Now believe me, kid, I--
:'''Mowgli:''' You're just like... like '''''old Bagheera!'''''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[angrily]'' Now, ''just'' a minute! ''That's'' going too far! ''[Mowgli runs off in the opposite direction, and Baloo tries to calling for him]'' Hey, Mowgli, where are you going? Wait a minute! Stop! Wait! '''''Wait!''''' Listen to ol' Baloo! Mowgli? ''Mowgli?'' Mowgli! ''[Mowgli flees away, Baloo feeling hurt and betrayed by him]'' Mowgli! ''Mowgli!''  
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[runs up to Baloo after hearing him calling for Mowgli]'' Now, what's happened? 
:'''Baloo:''' Well, you're, you're-- You're not gonna believe me, Bagheera, but look-- Now, I used the same words you did, and he ran out on me! 
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[stammering]'' W-Well, don't just stand there! Let's separate! W-We've got to find him! ''[runs off in the opposite direction]''
:'''Baloo:''' Oh, if anything happens to that little guy, I'll ''never'' forgive myself. I ''gotta'' find him. ''Mowgli!'' Mowgli!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shere Khan the Tiger appearing prowling in the grass. Shere Khan comes close to a Bambi's mother deer grazing, lies down ready to pounce, but Colonel Hathi and the other elephants trumpets and deer runs away.]''
:'''Elephants:''' ''[march and sing]'' ''♪ Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four. Keep it up, two, three-- ♪''
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[furiously]'' What a beastly luck! Confound that ridiculous ''Colonel'' Hathi!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Col. Hathi and the Jungle Patrol are marching]''
:'''Bagheera:''' Stop! Wait a minute. ''[bellows]'' '''''HA-A-A-A-A-A-A-LT!'''''
:''[The Jungle Patrol abruptly stops]''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' '''''Oh'''! '''Oh!''''' Who said, &quot;Halt!&quot;? '''''I''''' give the commands around here. Now, speak up. Who was it?
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, it was me, Colonel.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' What do you mean, sir? Taking over my command? Highly irregular, you know.
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, Colonel, I'm sorry, but, but I need your help.
:''[Shere Khan is seen spying on them]''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Oh, absolutely impossible! We're on a cross-country march!
:'''Bagheera:''' But it's an emergency, Colonel. The Man-Cub must be found.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Man-Cub? What Man-Cub?
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[cocks his left ear while eavesdropping their private chat from afar]'' How interesting.
:'''Bagheera:''' The one who I was taking to the Man Village.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Good. That's where he belongs. Now, sir, if you don't mind, we'd like to get on with the march.
:'''Bagheera:''' No, no-no, you-you don't understand, Hathi. He is lost. He ran away.
:'''Shere Khan:''' How delightful.
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Well, it serves the whippersnapper right.
:'''Bagheera:''' But, but Shere Khan, the Tiger, he's sure to pick up the Man-Cub's trail.
:''[Shere Khan nods his head, agreeing with Bagheera.]''
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[laughs]'' Shere Khan. Nonsense, old boy. Shere Khan isn't within miles from here. ''[Shere Khan shakes his head in disagreement, and chuckles evilly, as if saying &quot;That's what '''you''' think.&quot;]'' Oh, sorry, Bagheera. Fortunes of war, and all that sort of thing, you know.
:'''Winifred:''' ''[angrily storms towards Hathi, with Hathi Jr. following her]'' This has gone far enough. Far enough! ''[to Hathi]'' Now, just a minute, you pompous old windbag!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Winifred! What are you doing out of ranks?
:'''Winifred:''' Never mind. ''[indicating Hathi Jr.]'' How would you like to have '''''our''''' boy lost and alone in the jungle?
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Our son? Alone? But, Winifred, old girl, that's an entirely different matter!
:'''Winifred:''' Huh!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' Different, entirely.
:'''Winifred:''' That little boy is no different than our own son. Now, '''''you''''' help find him, or '''''I'm''''' taking over command!
:'''Col. Hathi:''' '''''WHAT?! A female leading my herd?!''''' Utterly preposterous!
:'''Hathi Jr.:''' Pop, the Man-Cub and I are friends. He'll get hurt if we don't find him. Please, Pop, sir? Please?
:'''Col. Hathi:''' ''[smiles]'' Now, don't you worry, Son. Your father had a plan in mind all the time.
:'''Winifred:''' ''[scoffs; sarcastically]'' '''''Sure''''' you did.
:'''Col. Hathi''': ''[gets shocked at Winifred's sarcasm, but regains composure, and clears throat]'' Troopers! Company, left face! ''[the elephants turn around in a military fashion]'' Volunteers for a special mission will step one pace forward. ''[the elephants step back; Elephant #3 is still chewing, but stops and backs up; Hathi sees the elephants and chuckles]'' That's what I like to see; Devotion to duty. Now, you volunteers will find the lost Man-Cub.
:'''Bagheera''': Oh, thank you, Colonel. Now, there's no time to lose.
:'''Col. Hathi''': Yes, yes. ''[to Bulger]'' Uh, Bugler, when the Man-Cub is sighted, you will sound your trumpet three times.
:'''Bugler Elephant''': Yes, sir. ''[trumpets loudly, but Hathi abruptly stops him.]''
:'''Col. Hathi''': Shh! Not now, soldier.
:'''Bugler Elephant''': ''[nasally]'' Sorry, sir.
:'''Col. Hathi''': ''[to Lieutenant]'' Lieutenant, our strategy shall be the element of surprise. ''[whispers]'' You will take one squad, and cover the right flank.
:'''Lieutenant:''' ''[whispers]'' Yes, sir.
:'''Col. Hathi''': ''[whispers]'' And I shall take the other squad on the '''''left''''' flank. Very well. ''[bellows]'' '''''COMPANY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y...''''' ''[bellow echoes]'' '''''FORWARD, MARCH!'''''
:'''Shere Khan''': Element of surprise? Ho. I say. ''[chortles]'' And now, for '''''my''''' rendezvous with the little lost Man-Cub.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mowgli walking aimlessly alone in the Jungle. Kaa picks Mowgli with his tail from the ground and raises to the branch he is on]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[surprised]'' Kaa, it's you!
:'''Kaa:''' Yesss, Man-Cub, so nice to see you again. Sss-sss-sss!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily pushing Kaa away again.]'' Oh, go away. Leave me alone.
:'''Kaa:''' ''[trying to get Mowgli to his hypnosis look into his eyes]'' Let me look at you. ''[Mowgli turns away from Kaa's eyes]'' You don't ''want'' me to look at you? Then you look at me. ''[hypnotize Mowgli with his eyes, and looks away]''
:'''Mowgli:''' No, sir! ''[Kaa wrap his tail to him]'' I know what you're trying to do-- Kaa!
:'''Kaa:''' You do? Uh, I mean... you don't trust me.
:'''Mowgli:''' No!
:'''Kaa:''' Then there's nothing I can do to help.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[untied Kaa's tail with his leg]'' You want to help me?
:'''Kaa:''' ''[he sneaks Mowgli behind, and now waving agreement]'' Ss-certainly. I can see to it that you never to leave this jungle.
:'''Mowgli:''' How could you do that?
:'''Kaa:''' Hmm? Oh, I have my own ss-subtle little ways. ''[chuckles]'' But first, you must trust me.
:''[Kaa stares at Mowgli with his eyes, and staring away]''
:'''Mowgli:''' I don't trust anyone anymore.
:''[Kaa now struggles with his coils to push Mowgli off his head]''
:'''Kaa:''' I don't blame you. I'm not like those so-called fair-weather friends of yours. You can believe in me. ''[Kaa finally gets to see into Mowgli's eyes long enough; singing]'' ''♪ Trust in me. Just in me. Shut your eyes. And trust in me. ♪'' ''[hold Mowgli's forehead with his tail]'' Hold still, please. ''[singing]'' ''♪ You can sleep. Safe and sound. Knowing I...am around. Slip into silent slumber. Sail on a silver mist. Slowly and surely your senses. Will cease to resist. ♪'' ''[Mowgli snores while standing on his head on the tip of Kaa's tail]'' You're snoring.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[half-asleep]'' Sorry.
:'''Kaa:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ Trust in me, and just in me. [Shere Khan appears below and listens] Shut your eyes, and just in me. ♪''  
:''[Kaa has Mowgli wrapped in his coils as Shere Khan pulls Kaa’s tail like ringing a doorbell]''
:'''Kaa:''' Ooh! Oh, now what? I'll be right down. ''[gets down from the tree almost completely]'' Yes? Yes? Who is it?
:'''Shere Khan:''' It's me, Shere Khan. Uh, I'd like a word with you, if you don't mind.
:'''Kaa:''' Shere Khan. What a surprise.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Yes, isn't it? I just dropped by. Uh, forgive me if I've interrupted anything.
:'''Kaa:''' Oh, no, no. Nothing at all.
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[his claws pop out from his paw, and he drums on the ground with them]'' I thought perhaps that you were entertaining someone up there in your coils.
:'''Kaa:''' Coils? Someone? Oh, no. I was just curling up for my siesta.
:'''Shere Khan:''' But you were singing to someone. ''[grabs hold of Kaa's throat]'' Who is it, Kaa?
:'''Kaa:''' ''[choking like mad]'' Uh, who? ''[coughs]'' Oh, no. No. I was just...singing to myself.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Indeed.
:'''Kaa:''' Yes. You see, I have... ''[gulps]'' ...trouble with my sssinuses.
:'''Shere Khan:''' What a pity. ''[releases Kaa's neck and gently pins him to the ground]''
:'''Kaa:''' Oh, you have no idea. It's simply terrible. I can't eat. I can't sssleep. So, I sssing myself to sleep. You know, self-hypnosis? ''[smiles deviously, brings his head close to Shere Khan's face]'' Let me show you how it works. ''[He uses his hypnosis technique with his eyes]'' ''♪ Tru-u-u-ust in me-- ♪''
:''[Shere Khan pushes Kaa away and pins his head to the ground, unaffected]''
:'''Shere Khan:''' Oh, no, I can't be bothered with that. I have no time for that sort of nonsense.
:'''Kaa:''' SS-S-Some other time? Perhaps?
:'''Shere Khan:''' Perhaps. But at the moment, I'm searching for a Man-Cub.
:'''Kaa:''' Man-Cub? What Man-Cub?
:'''Shere Khan:''' The one who's lost. Now, where do you suppose he could be?
:'''Kaa:''' Search me. ''[He closes his mouth for telling Shere Khan to search Mowgli on his tentacles]''
:'''Shere Khan:''' That's an excellent idea. ''[chuckles]'' I'm sure that you wouldn't mind showing me your coils, would you, Kaa?
:'''Kaa:''' Certainly not. ''[lowers his tail]'' Nothing here...and nothing in here. ''[his tail pointing to his mouth open, and Shere Khan hears Mowgli snoring. Alarmed, he starts snorting and coughs.]'' My sinuses.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Hmm. Indeed. And now, how about the middle?
:'''Kaa:''' The middle? Oh, the middle. ''[lowering the middle leaving Mowgli on the tree trunk spinning around and showing Shere Khan the middle of his coils and then getting tickled]'' Absolutely nothing in the middle.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Hmm. Really? Well, if you do just happen to see the Man-Cub, you will inform me first. Understand? ''[scratching Kaa's neck gently]''
:'''Kaa:''' ''[gulps]'' I get the point. ''[spinning himself into a bow with his head on top]'' Cross my heart, hope to die.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Good show. And now, I must continue my search for the helpless little lad. ''[leaves]''
:'''Kaa:''' Ooh, who does he think he's fooling? &quot;The helpless little lad.&quot; Ooooh, he gives me the ''sh-sh-sh-shivers.'' ''[Kaa's shivering unintentionally wakes up Mowgli]'' Picking on that poor, little, helpless boy. ''[sighs, but smiles]'' Oh, yes. Poor, little, helpless boy. ''[Mowgli pushes the rest of Kaa off the branches and sends him falling comically to the ground yet again, in the same exact manner]'' Ooh!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[climbs down the tree]'' You told me a lie, Kaa! You said that I could trust you!
:'''Kaa:''' It's like you said; you can't trust anyone! ''[tries to strike Mowgli, only to again be caught in by a knot in his tail; when he pulls it out, his body comes back like an accordion]'' If I never see that s-ss-skinny little shrimp again, it will be too s-s-s-soon.  Ooh, my s-s-s-sacroiliac.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The vultures sitting on a dead tree.]''
:'''Buzzy:''' ''[yawns]'' Hey, Flaps. What we gonna do?
:'''Flaps:''' I don't know. What'cha wanna do?
:'''Ziggy:''' I've got it! Let's flap over to the east side of the jungle. They've always got a bit of action, a bit of a swingin' scene, all right!
:'''Buzzy:''' Aw, come off it. Things are right dead all over.
:'''Ziggy:''' You mean that you wish they were! ''[They all laugh, except for Dizzy]''
:'''Dizzy:''' Very funny.
:'''Buzzy:''' OK. So, what we gonna do?
:'''Flaps:''' I don’t know. What'cha wanna do?
:'''Buzzy:''' Look, Flaps. First I say, &quot;What we gonna do?&quot; Then you say, &quot;I don't know. What'cha wanna do?&quot; Then I say, &quot;What we gonna do?&quot; Then you say, &quot;What'cha wanna do?&quot; &quot;What we gonna do? What you want...&quot; Let's do ''something!''
:'''Flaps:''' Okay. What'cha wanna do?
:'''Buzzy:''' ''[annoyed]'' Oh, blimey. There you go again, the same notes again!
:'''Ziggy:''' I've got it! This time, I've ''really'' got it!
:'''Buzzy:''' So, you got it. So, what we gonna do?
:'''Dizzy:''' ''[spots Mowgli approaching]'' Hold it, lads. Look. Look what's coming our way.
:'''Flaps:''' Hey, what in the world is that?
:'''Ziggy:''' What a crazy-looking bunch of bones.
:'''Dizzy:''' Yeah, and they're all walking about by themselves. ''[they all laugh]''
:''[They look at Mowgli who sits down on a stone]''
:'''Buzzy:''' So, what are we gonna do?
:'''Flaps:''' I don't know. Hey, now, don't start ''that'' again!
:'''Ziggy:''' ''[Pushing the others off the tree]'' C'mon, lads. C'mon. Let's have some fun with this little fella. This Little Bloke, eh?
:''[They all fly down to Mowgli]''
:'''Flaps:''' ''[feeling Mowgli's legs]'' Blimey! He's got legs like a stork, he has.
:'''Buzzy:''' Like a stork, heh-heh, but he ain't got no feathers, he ain't.
:''[Vultures laugh, Mowgli feeling hurt when he tears]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Go ahead. Laugh. I don't care.
:''[He walks away]''
:'''Dizzy:''' What's wrong with him?
:'''Flaps:''' I think we overdid it.
:'''Dizzy:''' We were just having a bit of fun, that's all.
:'''Buzzy:''' Aw, just look at him. What a poor little fella. You know, he must be down on his luck.
:'''Dizzy:''' Yeah, or he wouldn't be in our neighbourhood.
:''[Buzzy tries to catch up Mowgli]''
:'''Buzzy:''' Hey, new kid! Wait a minute! Hey!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[sadly]'' Just leave me alone.
:'''Buzzy:''' Oh, come on, what's wrong? ''You'' know, you look like you haven't got a friend in the world.
:'''Mowgli:''' I haven't.
:'''Dizzy:''' ''[indicating Mowgli's parents]'' Haven't you got a mother or a father?
:'''Mowgli:''' No. Nobody wants me around.
:'''Buzzy:''' Yeah, we know how you feel.
:'''Dizzy:''' Nobody wants us around, either.
:'''Buzzy:''' We may look a bit shabby, but we've got hearts.
:'''Dizzy:''' And feelings, too.
:'''Buzzy:''' ''[smiles]'' And just to prove it to you, we're gonna let you join our little group.
:'''Flaps:''' ''[honored]'' Kid, we'd like to make you an honorary vulture.
:'''Mowgli:''' Thanks, but I-- I'd rather be on my own alone.
:'''Buzzy:''' Uh, now look, kid, ''everybody's'' got to have ''friends.'' ''[to vultures]'' Hey, fellas, are we his friends? ''[Begins sings &quot;That's what friends are for&quot;]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[applauds]'' Bravo. Bravo. An extraordinary performance. ''[evilly]'' And thank you for detaining my victim.
:'''Flaps:''' Uh, d-don't mention it... ''[gulps]'' ...Your Highness.
:'''Shere Khan:''' ''[chuckles]'' Boo!
:''[the Vultures get scared of Shere Khan]''
:'''Dizzy:''' Let's get out of here!
:'''Buzzy:''' Give me room! Gangway! ''[to Mowgli]'' Run, friend! Run!
:'''Mowgli:''' Run? Why should ''I'' run?
:'''Shere Khan:''' Why should you run? Could it be possible that you don't know who I am?
:'''Mowgli:''' I know you, all right. You're Shere Khan.
:'''Shere Khan:''' Precisely. ''[pops his claws out of his right paw]'' Then you should also know that ''everyone'' runs from Shere Khan. ''[pokes Mowgli's chin with his right paw]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[angrily pushes Shere Khan's paw away]'' You don't scare me! I won't run from anyone!
:'''Shere Khan:''' Ah, you have spirit for one so small. And such spirit is deserving of a sporting chance. Now, I'm going to close my eyes, and count to 10. It makes the chase more interesting...for me. 1... ''[Mowgli looks for something to defend himself with as Shere Khan continues counting]''...2... ''[Mowgli spots something and goes over to retrieve it.]'' ...3... ''[As Mowgli picks up a stick, Shere Khan begins to suspect something.]'' ...4... ''[Mowgli prepares to defend himself]'' You're trying my patience. ''[counts faster just as Baloo arrives]'' 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
:''[Shere Khan leaps at Mowgli with a loud roar, Mowgli loses all of his nerve at the sight of this fearsome creature; Shere Khan almost catches Mowgli until Baloo grabs him by the tail]''
:'''Baloo:''' Run, Mowgli, run!
:'''Shere Khan''': Let go, you big oaf!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[scared]'' Ooh! Take it easy! Take it-- Ooh! H-Hold it! Hold it! Whoa! Slow down! ''[Shere Khan tries to bite him]'' Whoa! Yeow! Whoa! Slow! Easy, now! Ooh! Whoa, whoa, easy!
:'''Buzzy:''' He's got a tiger by the tail, he has.
:'''Dizzy:''' And he'd better hang on, too.
:''[Baloo hides beside a tree, but Shere Khan bites him in the butt]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[screams in agony]'' '''''YEOW!!!!'''''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[hits Shere Khan with a thick twig in retaliation]'' Take that, you big bully! 
:'''Flaps:''' Let 'im have it again, kid! Hit 'im again, kid! Go on!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[starts to flee as Shere Khan chases him, but Baloo grabs Shere Khan's tail]'' Baloo, help me!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[he hangs over a tree branch, shocked, and turns around to Shere Khan chases Mowgli]'' '''''OOHH!''''' ''[stammers]'' Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! ''[as he runs, Shere Khan roars, and Baloo gets a bumpy slide on the ground]'' Somebody do something with that kid.
:'''Ziggy:''' Come on, lads!
:''[Flaps and Ziggy have just saved Mowgli]''
:'''Buzzy:''' He's safe now! ''[laughs]'' You can let go, Baloo.
:'''Baloo:''' Are you kiddin'? There's teeth on the other end.
:''[Baloo hanging over a branch, Shere Khan gets Baloo on the ground before him, and Shere Khan throws Baloo on the ground]''
:'''Shere Khan:''' I’ll kill you for this.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[Flaps and Buzzy are holding him]'' Let go! Baloo needs help!
:''[Suddenly, a thunderclap is heard and lightning strikes a tree, splitting it in half and catches fire]''
:'''Buzzy:''' Fire! That's the only thing that Ol' Stripes is afraid of.
:'''Flaps:''' You get the fire, we'll do the rest.
:''[Mowgli picks up a fire branch, Shere Khan knocks Baloo out]''
:'''Buzzy, Dizzy, Flaps &amp; Ziggy:''' '''''CHARGE!!'''''
:''[Buzzy, Dizzy, Flaps &amp; Ziggy hover Shere Khan and laugh]''
:'''Flaps:''' Punch and blow!
:'''Shere Khan:''' Stay out of this, you mangy fools!
:'''Buzzy:''' Yeah, yeah! ''[ducks during Shere Khan's attack]'' Missed me a mile, he did! ''[vultures laughs, Mowgli try to get the fire branch, Flaps pulls a Shere Khan's whiskers]'' Yeah, pull his blinkin' whiskers!
:'''Flaps:''' He's a bloomin' pussycat is! 
:''[Mowgli takes a burning branch and ties it to Shere Khan's tail]''
:'''Dizzy:''' Look behind you, chum.
:''[Shere Khan gasps, he panic runs away, getting burnt by the fire on every step, and flees away]''
:'''Buzzy:''' Well, that was the last of him.
:''[they vultures laughs]''
:'''Ziggy:''' Old stripes took off like a flaming comet, idiot.
:'''Buzzy:''' Well, come on, let's go congratulate our friend.
:'''Dizzy:''' ''[approaching]'' Hold it, fellas. Now's not the time for it. Look.
:''[Mowgli comes to Baloo, who is lying without signs of life has [[w:Death|died]] at the paws of Shere Khan]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Baloo? Baloo, get up. Oh please, get up. Oh.  
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[appears, sadly]'' Mowgli, try to understand.
:'''Mowgli:''' Bagheera, what's the matter with him?
:'''Bagheera:''' You've got to be brave, like Baloo was.
:'''Mowgli:''' Y-You don't mean--? Oh, no. Baloo.
:'''Bagheera:''' Now, now. I know how you feel. But you must remember, Mowgli: ''[quotes John 15:13 from the Holy Bible]'' &quot;Greater love hath no one than he who lays down his life for his friend.&quot; ''[As the panther speaks, Baloo opens his eyes, alive and well.]'' When great deeds are remembered in this jungle, one name will stand above all others; our friend Baloo the Bear.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[sniffling]'' He's crackin’ me up.
:'''Bagheera:''' The memory of Baloo's sacrifice and bravery will forever be engraved on our saddened hearts.
:'''Baloo:''' Beautiful.
:'''Bagheera:''' This spot where Baloo fell will always be a hallowed place in the jungle, for there lies one of nature's noblest creatures.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[still sniffling]'' I wish that my mother could've heard this.
:'''Bagheera:''' It's best we leave now. Come along, Man-Cub.
:'''Baloo:''' Hey, don't stop now, Baggy, you're doin' great! There's more! Lots more!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[sees Baloo still alive and is furious]'' '''''WHY, YOU.... BIG.... FRAUD!!!!''''' You.... You-You-You four-flusher! I-I am fed up!
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[hugs Baloo]'' Baloo! You're all right!
:'''Baloo:''' ''[laughs]'' Who, me? Sure, I am! Never felt... better.
:''[Vultures laugh happily]''
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[laughs in relief]'' You sure had us worried.
:'''Baloo:''' Aw, I was just takin' 5. Y'know, like, playin' it cool. Heh! Yeah, but he was too easy.
:'''Mowgli:''' Good ol' Papa Bear!
:'''Dizzy:''' It's going to be a bit dull without that Little Bloke, isn't it?
:'''Buzzie:''' Yeah. So, what are we gonna do?
:'''Flaps:''' I don't know. Hey, now don't start ''that'' again!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Dissolve to Baloo, Mowgli and Bagheera walking]''
:'''Baloo:''' Hey Baggy, too bad you missed the action. You should have seen how I made a sucker out ol' stripes with that left up in his face. ''[fists Bagheera's face]'' Boom, boom, I was giving him '''''wham'''''! ''[to Mowgli]'' You know some, we're good sparring partners.
:'''Mowgli:''' ''[imitating Baloo's sentence]'' You better believe it!
:'''Baloo:''' Yes, sir! Nothing that nobody is ever gonna come between us again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mowgli sees the girl from the Man Village for the first time]''
:'''Mowgli:''' Look. What's that?
:'''Bagheera:''' Oh, it's the Man Village.
:'''Mowgli:''' No, no. I mean '''''that'''''.
:'''Baloo:''' Forget about those. They ain't nothin’ but trouble.
:'''Mowgli:''' Just a minute. I've never seen one before.
:'''Baloo:''' So you've seen one. So let's go.
:'''Mowgli:''' I'll be right back. I want a better look.
:'''Baloo:''' Mowgli, wait a minute!
:'''Bagheera:''' Ah, Baloo. Let him have a better look.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shanti drops her pot of water purposefully, pretending to do it by accident, and it rolls towards Mowgli]''
:'''Baloo:''' She did that on purpose!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smiling]'' Obviously.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Baloo:''' ''[concerned]'' Mowgli. Come back. Come back!
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[encouragingly]'' Go on. Go on.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines; After Mowgli, falling in love with Shanti, enters the Man Village for the first time]''
:'''Baloo:''' ''[stunned]'' He's hooked.
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[smiles]'' Ah, it was inevitable, Baloo. The boy couldn't help himself. It was bound to happen. Mowgli is where he belongs now.
:'''Baloo:''' ''[resigned]'' Yeah. I guess you're right. ''[smiles]'' But I still think that he'd have made one swell bear. ''[inhales]'' Well, c'mon, Baggy, buddy. Let's get back to where ''we'' belong, and get with the beat. ''[singing]'' ''♪ Look for the Bare Necessities, the simple Bare Necessities. ♪''
:'''Bagheera:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ Forget about your worries and your strife. ♪''
:'''Both:''' ''[singing]'' ''♪ I mean the Bare Necessities! Ol' Mother Nature's recipes, that bring the Bare Necessities of life. ♪''

== Cast==
* [[w:Bruce Reitherman|Bruce Reitherman]] as Mowgli
* [[w:Phil Harris|Phil Harris]] as Baloo
* [[w:Sebastian Cabot (actor)|Sebastian Cabot]] as Bagheera
* [[w:Louis Prima|Louis Prima]] as King Louie
* [[w:George Sanders|George Sanders]] as Shere Khan
* [[w:Sterling Holloway|Sterling Holloway]] as Kaa
* [[w:J. Pat O'Malley|J. Pat O'Malley]] as Colonel Hathi/Buzzie
* [[w:Verna Felton|Verna Felton]] as Winifred
* [[w:Clint Howard|Clint Howard]] as Junior
* [[w:Chad Stuart|Chad Stuart]] as Flaps
* [[w:Lord Tim Hudson|Lord Tim Hudson]] as Dizzie
* [[w:John Abbott (actor, born 1905)|John Abbott]] as Akela
* [[w:Ben Wright (actor)|Ben Wright]] as Rama the Father Wolf
* [[w:Darleen Carr|Darleen Carr]] as The Girl (named Shanti in ''The Jungle Book 2'')
* [[w:Leo De Lyon|Leo De Lyon]] as Flunkey*
* [[w:Hal Smith (actor)|Hal Smith]] as The Slob Elephant*
* [[w:Digby Wolfe|Digby Wolfe]] as Ziggy*
* [[w:Skiles and Henderson|Bill Skiles and Pete Henderson]] as Monkeys*
* [[w:Thurl Ravenscroft|Thurl Ravenscroft]] as Colonel Hathi's crew
* [[w:Candy Candido|Candy Candido]] as Shere Khan (roaring)

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline|The Jungle Book (1967 film)}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}
* [http://disney.go.com/disneyvideos/animatedfilms/junglebook/ Official website]
* {{imdb title|id=0061852}}
* [http://www.toonopedia.com/junglebk.htm Don Markstein's Toonopedia: The Jungle Book]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Jungle Book, The}}
[[Category:1960s American animated films]]
[[Category:1967 films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:Wolfgang Reitherman films]]
[[Category:The Jungle Book films|Jungle Book 1]]</text>
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    <title>Paul Morphy</title>
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      <text bytes="5778" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Morphy World of Chess Champions.jpg|thumb|Paul Morphy]]
'''[[w:Paul Morphy|Paul Charles Morphy]]''' ([[June 22]], [[1837]] – [[July 10]], [[1884]]) was an American chess player. Considered to have been the greatest chess grandmaster of his time, he is today widely recognized as one of the finest chess players to have ever lived. Morphy was also chess publisher and an attorney.

== Quotes ==
* I am more strongly confirmed than ever in the belief that the time devoted to chess is literally frittered away. It is, to be sure, a most exhilarating sport, but it is only a sport; and it is not to be wondered at that such as have been passionately addicted to the charming pastime should one day ask themselves whether sober reason does not advise its utter dereliction.
** From [https://web.archive.org/web/20150722050734/http://www.edochess.ca/batgirl/Morphy_to_Fiske_Feb4.html Morphy's letter to Daniel Fiske, February 4, 1863]

=== ''Testimonials to Paul Morphy: Presented at University Hall'' (1859) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://play.google.com/books/reader?id=aEZAAAAAYAAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;output=reader&amp;hl=en&amp;pg=GBS.PA3 ''Testimonials to Paul Morphy: Presented at University Hall''], New York (May 25, 1859)&lt;/small&gt;

* Chess never has been and never can be aught but a recreation. It should not be indulged in to the detriment of other and more serious avocations.

* It ''[chess]'' is not only the most delightful and scientific, but the most moral of amusements.

* '''It ''[chess]'' is eminently and emphatically the philosopher's game.'''

* Let the chessboard supercede the card table, and a great improvement will be visible in the morals of the community.

==About Paul Morphy==

* [[w:Adolf Anderssen|Anderssen]] voiced it well when asked why he did not play as brilliantly as usual in his game with Morphy, when he replied: '''&quot;Morphy will not let me.&quot;'''
** As quoted in [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Lasker%27s_Chess_Magazine/Volume_1 Lasker's Chess Magazine]

* Paul Morphy was the greatest chess player that ever lived. Every student of the game, who has delved into the stories of the past, realizes that no one ever was so far superior to the players of his time, or ever defeated his opponents with such ease, and no one ever offered knight odds to the men who considered themselves his equal.
** As quoted in Lasker's Chess Magazine

* So still was he, that but for the searching intellect which glittered in his full dark eye, you might have taken him for a carven image as he pondered his moves. His bearing was mild and that of a refined gentleman, and he dealt the most crushing blows on his adversary with an almost womanly ease and grace.
** Hugh Alexander Kennedy, quoted in [https://play.google.com/books/reader?id=Bs9eAAAAcAAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;output=reader&amp;hl=en&amp;pg=GBS.RA1-PA40 The Westminster Papers: A Monthly Journal of Chess, Whist, Games of Skill and the Drama, Volume X]

* &quot;...Morphy was stronger than anyone he played with, including Anderssen&quot;
** [[w:Wilhelm Steinitz|Wilhelm Steinitz]], ''International Chess Magazine'' 1885.{{fix cite}}

* &quot;Morphy's principal strength does not rest upon his power of combination but in his position play and his general style....Beginning with la Bourdonnais to the present, and including Lasker, we find that the greatest stylist has been Morphy. Whence the reason, although it might not be the only one, why he is generally considered the greatest of all.&quot;
** [[José Raúl Capablanca]], in ''Pablo Morphy'' by V. F. Coria and L. Palau.

* &quot;...Morphy, the master of all phases of the game, stronger than any of his opponents, even the strongest of them...&quot; ~ [[Alexander Alekhine]], in Shakmatny Vestnik, January 15, 1914

* &quot;We also remember the brilliant flight of the American super-genius Paul Morphy, who in a couple of years (1857-59) conquered both the New and the Old Worlds.  He revealed a thunderous blend of pragmatism, aggression and accurate calculation to the world -- qualities that enabled America to accomplish a powerful spurt in the second half of the 19th century.&quot;
** [[Garry Kasparov]] (2003). ''On My Great Predecessors''. Gloucester Publishers plc. Vol. 1, p. 6. {{ISBN|1857443306}}.

* &quot;What was the secret of Morphy's invincibility?  I think it was a combination of a unique natural talent and brilliant erudition.  His play was the next, more mature stage in the development of chess.  Morphy had a well-developed 'feeling for position', and therefore he can be confidently regarded as the 'first swallow' - the prototype of the strong 20th century grandmaster.&quot;
** [[Garry Kasparov]] (2003). ''On My Great Predecessors''. Gloucester Publishers plc. Vol. 1, p. 43. {{ISBN|1857443306}}.

* &quot;After the passage of a century, Morphy still remains the most glamorous figure that has ever appeared in the chess world.&quot;
** Edward Lasker  (in The Adventure of Chess, 2nd Edition, New York, 1959)

* &quot;Genius is a starry word; but if there ever was a chess player to whom that attribute applied, it was Paul Morphy.&quot;
** Andrew Soltis  (in Golombek's Encyclopedia of Chess, New York, 1977)

* &quot;It has been truly said that Morphy was at once the Caesar and the Napoleon of chess. He revolutionized chess. He brought life and dash and beauty into the game at a time when an age of dullness was about to set in and he did this at a stroke. Then he quit forever. Only two years from the beginning to the end. The negotiations for some modern matches have taken that long!&quot;
** J. A. Galbreath  (American Chess Bulletin, October, 1909)

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons category}}

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[[Category:1837 births]]
[[Category:1884 deaths]]
[[Category:People from New Orleans]]
[[Category:Lawyers from the United States]]</text>
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== About me ==
After cultivating an extreme movie-quote hobby, I stumbled upon this site after perusing one of its sister projects, Wikipedia. Since then, I have become quite hooked on the idea of ensuring that my favorite (or even not-so-favorite) films would have their best lines captured for posterity. I am now an administrator and bureaucrat here on Wikiquote.  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
I'm a transplanted New Jersey-ian (or is it New Jersey-ite?) who has a ravenous hunger for movies and books (I rarely go through a day without one or the other). My tastes are quite diverse and range from absolute classics to thrillers to horror to comedy (both obvious and more sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek). I also particularly like [[:Category:Films noir|Films noir]] and [[:Category:Neo-noir|Neo-noir films]]. If pressed, I would list my favorite films as ''[[Three Days of the Condor]]'', ''[[Mr. Smith Goes to Washington]]'', ''[[Casablanca]]'', ''[[Chinatown]]'', ''[[Pulp Fiction]]'', ''[[La La Land (film)|La La Land]]'', ''[[Blood Simple]]'' (and frankly I'd watch anything by [[:Category:Films directed by the Coen brothers|the Coen brothers]]), ''[[The Godfather]]'', ''[[Hoosiers]]'', ''[[Donnie Darko]]'', ''[[It's a Wonderful Life]]'', ''[[Goodfellas]]'', ''[[The Seven Samurai]]'', ''[[The Man in the Moon]]'', ''[[The Third Man]]'', ''[[Monty Python and the Holy Grail]]'', ''[[Nobody's Fool (1994 film)|Nobody's Fool]]'', ''[[Absence of Malice]]'', anything by [[w:Alfred Hitchcock|Alfred Hitchcock]] (especially ''[[Shadow of a Doubt]]'', ''[[Rear Window]]'', ''[[North by Northwest]]'' and ''[[Rope (film)|Rope]]''), and maybe ''[[Halloween (1978 film)|Halloween]]'' (There. How's that for diverse?). As for TV, as with many WQ people, I am a devout ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer|Buffy]]'' fan. I would also include among my favorites ''[[Midnight Mass (miniseries)|Midnight Mass]]'', ''[[The Handmaid's Tale (TV series)|The Handmaid's Tale]]'', ''[[The Leftovers (TV series)|The Leftovers]]'', ''[[Stranger Things (TV series)|Stranger Things]]'', ''[[Shameless (U.S. TV series)|Shameless]]'', ''[[Homeland (TV series)‎|Homeland]]'', ''[[Alias (TV series)|Alias]]'', ''[[Lost (TV series)|Lost]]'', ''[[Friday Night Lights (TV series)|Friday Night Lights]]'', ''[[Veronica Mars]]'', ''[[Gilmore Girls]]'', ''[[Cheers (TV series)|Cheers]]'', ''[[Homicide: Life on the Street]]'', ''[[My So-Called Life]]'', ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'', ''[[The West Wing]]'', ''[[The Wire]]'', ''[[The Shield]]'', ''[[True Blood (TV series)|True Blood]]'', ''[[Breaking Bad]]'', ''[[Chuck (TV series)|Chuck]]'', ''[[Mad Men]]'', ''[[Damages (TV series)|Damages]]'', ''[[Fringe]]'', ''[[Rescue Me]]'', ''[[The Wonder Years]]'', ''[[Justified (TV series)|Justified]]'', ''[[Sons of Anarchy]]'', and ''[[The Twilight Zone]]''. My favorite authors would include [[Stephen King]], [[Charles Dickens]], [[Rainer Maria Rilke]], [[Ray Bradbury]], [[T. S. Eliot]], [[Neil Gaiman]] (love, love, love ''[[American Gods]]''), [[George Orwell]], [[George Bernard Shaw]], [[G. K. Chesterton]], and [[Lee Child]]. 

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And: I am HUGE fan of [[Dinosaur Comics]]! It ROCKS! 

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While my interests in Wikiquote primarily focus on films and a few of my favorite TV shows, you never know where I'll pop up. I especially like to rescue pages marked for deletion (if rescue is warranted) and to expand pages that are languishing.

== Useful stuff ==
* [[Help:Starting a new page]]
* [[Help:Editing]]
* [[User:Ningauble/Useful/VFD tips]]
* [[Wikiquote:Template messages/User talk]]
* [[Wikiquote:Shortcuts]]
* [[Special:Specialpages|Special pages]]
* [[Special:LintErrors|Lint]]
*&lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{cite news|first= |last= |author= |url= |title= |work= |publisher= |pages= |page= |date= |accessdate= }}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;
*&lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{cite book
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*&lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{cite web|url= |title= |accessdate= |accessmonthday= |accessyear= |author= |last= |first= |authorlink= |coauthors= |date= |year= |month= |format= |work= |publisher= |pages= |language= |archiveurl= |archivedate=}}
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* &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{quotation limit|type=tv|length= }}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{quotation limit|type=film|length= }}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;
* To split into two columns: &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{col-begin}}{{col-2}}{{col-2}}{{col-end}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;
* [[m:Promoting users|Promoting users]] (for Bots, Admins, etc.)

== Favorite quotes ==
* I hear you say 'Why?' Always 'Why?' You see things; and you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?'
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], ''Back to Methuselah'', Pt. I, Act I (1921)

* The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], ''Revolutionist's Handbook''

* A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Thoughts on Various Subjects'' (1727)

* There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''[[Heretics (book)|Heretics]]'', Chapter III: &quot;On Mr. Rudyard Kipling and Making the World Small&quot; (1905)

* The changing wisdom of successive generations discards ideas, questions facts, demolishes theories. But the artist appeals to that part of our being which is not dependent on wisdom: to that in us which is a gift and not an acquisition — and, therefore, more permanently enduring. He speaks to our capacity for delight and wonder, to the sense of mystery surrounding our lives; to our sense of pity, and beauty, and pain; to the latent feeling of fellowship with all creation — and to the subtle but invincible, conviction of solidarity that knits together the loneliness of innumerable hearts: to the solidarity in dreams, in joy, in sorrow, in aspirations, in illusions, in hope, in fear, which binds men to each other, which binds together all humanity — the dead to the living and the living to the unborn.
** [[Joseph Conrad]], ''[[The Nigger of the &quot;Narcissus&quot;]]'', Preface (1897)

* A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''[[The Everlasting Man]]'', Part II: On the Man Called Christ, Ch. 6: The Five Deaths of the Faith (1925)

* All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.
** [[Albert Einstein]], &quot;Moral Decay&quot; (1937); Later published in Out of My Later Years (1950)

* Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.
** [[Albert Einstein]], Letter to Morris Raphael Cohen, professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of [[Bertrand Russell]] to a teaching position (19 March 1940)

* The important thing is not to stop questioning; curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when contemplating the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of the mystery every day. The important thing is not to stop questioning; never lose a holy curiosity.
** [[Albert Einstein]], Statement to William Miller, as quoted in LIFE magazine (2 May 1955)

* The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed.
** [[Albert Einstein]], ''Mein Weltbild (My World-view)'' (1931)

* Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Self Reliance'', from ''[[s:Essays: First Series|Essays: First Series]]'' (1841)

* This I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual.
** [[John Steinbeck]], ''[[w:East of Eden|East of Eden]]'', Part 1, Ch. 13

* Humankind has become so much one family that we cannot ensure our own prosperity except by ensuring that of everyone else. If you wish to be happy yourself, you must resign yourself to seeing others also happy.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], &quot;The Science to Save Us from Science,&quot; ''The New York Times Magazine'' (March 19, 1950)

* Do I dare&lt;br&gt;Disturb the universe?&lt;br&gt;In a minute there is time&lt;br&gt;For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
** [[T.S. Eliot]], ''[[w:The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock|The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock]]'' (1915)

* This is the way the world ends&lt;br&gt;Not with a bang but a whimper.
** [[T.S. Eliot]], ''[[w:The Hollow Men|The Hollow Men]]'' (1925)

* His tired gaze - from passing endless bars - &lt;br&gt; has turned into a vacant stare which nothing holds. &lt;br&gt; To him there seem to be a thousand bars, &lt;br&gt; and out beyond these bars exists no world. &lt;p&gt; His supple gait, the smoothness of strong strides &lt;br&gt; that gently turn in ever smaller circles &lt;br&gt; perform a dance of strength, centered deep within &lt;br&gt; a will, stunned, but untamed, indomitable. &lt;p&gt; But sometimes the curtains of his eyelids part, &lt;br&gt; the pupils of his eyes dilate as images &lt;br&gt; of past encounters enter while through his limbs &lt;br&gt; a tension strains in silence &lt;br&gt; only to cease to be, to die within his heart.
** [[Rainer Maria Rilke]], ''The Panther'' (1907), translated by Albert Ernest Flemming
 
* Before I built a wall I’d ask to know&lt;br&gt;What I was walling in or walling out, &lt;br&gt;And to whom I was like to give offence.&lt;br&gt;Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,&lt;br&gt;That wants it down.
** [[Robert Frost]], ''Mending Wall'' (1915)

* Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—&lt;br&gt;I took the one less traveled by,&lt;br&gt;And that has made all the difference.
** [[Robert Frost]], ''The Road Not Taken'' (1916)

* I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! 
** [[Patrick Henry]], ''Speech in Virginia Convention'', Richmond (March 23, 1775)

* Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.
** [[Stephen King]], ''Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption'', from ''Different Seasons'' (1982)

* I met a traveller from an antique land&lt;br&gt;Who said:&amp;mdash;Two vast and trunkless legs of stone&lt;br&gt;Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,&lt;br&gt;Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown&lt;br&gt;And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command&lt;br&gt;Tell that its sculptor well those passions read&lt;br&gt;Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,&lt;br&gt;The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.&lt;br&gt;And on the pedestal these words appear:&lt;br&gt;&quot;My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:&lt;br&gt;Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!&quot;&lt;br&gt;Nothing beside remains: round the decay&lt;br&gt;Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,&lt;br&gt;The lone and level sands stretch far away.
** [[Percy Bysshe Shelley]], ''Ozymandius'' (1818)

* Truth, after all, wears a different face to everybody, and it would be too tedious to wait till all were agreed. She is said to lie at the bottom of a well, for the very reason, perhaps, that whoever looks down in search of her sees his own image at the bottom, and is persuaded not only that he has seen the goddess, but that she is far better looking than he had imagined. 
** [[James Russell Lowell]], ''On Democracy'' (October 6, 1884)

* Life and death, union and separation, follow hard upon one another. Nothing is steadfast but the will, nothing endures but one’s achieve­ments. These alone count in life. 
** [[Yoshida Shoin]], ''Yoshida Shoin Zenshu'', Vol. II

* No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it for anyone else.
** [[Charles Dickens]], ''Our Mutual Friend'' (1864-1865)

* He is truly a man who will not permit himself to be unduly elated when fortune’s breeze is favorable, or cast down when it is adverse.
** [[Livy|Titus Livius]] (Livy), ''Histories'', Book XLV, sec. 8

* A person is a person because he recognizes others as persons.
** [[Desmond Tutu]], Address at his enthronement as Anglican archbishop of Cape Town (7 September 1986)

* ''Lo maggior don che Dio per sua larghezza&lt;br&gt;fesse creando, e a la sua bontate&lt;br&gt;più conformato, e quel ch'e' più apprezza,&lt;br&gt;fu de la volontà la libertate;&lt;br&gt;di che le creature intelligenti,&lt;br&gt;e tutte e sole, fuore e son dotate.''
** The greatest gift that God in His bounty made in creation,&lt;br&gt;and the most conformable to His goodness,&lt;br&gt;and that which He prizes the most,&lt;br&gt;was the freedom of will,&lt;br&gt;with which the creatures with intelligence,&lt;br&gt;they all and they alone, were and are endowed.
** [[Dante Alighieri]], ''[[The Divine Comedy]]'', ''Paradiso'', Canto V, lines 19-24

* Do... or do not. There is no try. 
** [[Yoda]], ''[[Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back]]'' (1980)

* Gods die. And when they truly die they are unmourned and unremembered. Ideas are more difficult to kill than people, but they can be killed, in the end.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], ''[[American Gods]]'', ch. 3 (2001)

* There's never been a true war that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], ''[[American Gods]]'', ch. 9 (2001)

* Creativity is seeing what everyone else sees, but then thinking a new thought that has never been thought before and expressing it somehow.
** [[Neil deGrasse Tyson]], {{cite web|url=http://www.convergemag.com/stem/Global-Ideas-from-Plutos-Challenger.html |title=Global Ideas from Pluto's Challenger |accessdate=December 7, 2010 |author=Marina Leight |date=May 21, 2009}}

== To do ==
=== Additions ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
* Complete adding quotes to ''[[Criminal Minds]]'' - Completed through Season 3
* [[User:BD2412/RQ]]
* Finish adding to and cleaning up ''[[Brothers &amp; Sisters (2006 TV series)]]'' - Completed Season 1
* Finish ''[[St. Elsewhere]]'' - Completed Season 1
* Finish ''[[Hill Street Blues]]'' - Completed Season 1, 2, 3
* Finish ''[[Soap (TV series)|Soap]]
* Add pages for remaining [[Alfred Hitchcock]] films
* Add pages for remaining [[Akira Kurosawa]] films
* Complete cleanup and additions to ''[[The Cosby Show]]'' - completed Season 1, 2
* Complete ''[[CSI: Crime Scene Investigation]]'' seasons
* Complete ''[[The Twilight Zone]]'' seasons
* Complete ''[[Welcome Back, Kotter]]'' seasons - completed through season three
* Add custom TOC to ''[[Magnum, P.I.]]''
* Add Custom TOC to ''[[Cheers (TV series)|Cheers]]''
* Finish [[User:UDScott/Rilke in progress|additions to Rainer Maria Rilke]]
* Work on pages from [[Wikiquote:Academy Award nominated screenplays]] 
* Bring [[Dinosaur Comics]] up to date
* Create separate pages for [[Woody Allen]] films; strip the film quotes from his page
* Work on [[:Category:Move into Wikiquote]]
&lt;/div&gt;

=== Trimming ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
* Trim ''[[CSI: NY]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim ''[[Supernatural (TV series)]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim ''[[NCIS (TV series)]]''
* Trim ''[[CSI: Crime Scene Investigation]]''
* Trim ''[[Angel (TV series)]]''
* Trim ''[[The Golden Girls]]''
* Trim ''[[Charmed (TV series)]]''
* Trim ''[[Bones (TV series)]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim ''[[Malcolm in the Middle‎]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim [[Josiah Gregg]]
* Trim ''[[One Tree Hill]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim ''[[Dexter (TV series)|Dexter]]'' - completed Seasons 1, 2
&lt;/div&gt;

=== Other ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
* Complete cleanup of [[:Category:Films by director]] - completed through P
* Complete cleanup of ''[[The X-Files]]'' - Completed through Season 1
* Add character &amp; episode links to ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'' - Completed through Season 2
* Fix character links on all season pages of ''[[Gilmore Girls]]''
* Clean up [[:Category:Musicians]]
* Finish proper categorization for: [[:Category:Novelists]], [[:Category:Playwrights]], [[:Category:Short story writers]]
&lt;/div&gt;

=== Completed ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
* &lt;s&gt;Finish trimming &amp; formatting ''[[Malcolm in the Middle]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) (season 5)]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Finish cleaning up [[:Category:Activists]]&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Grey's Anatomy]]'' pages - completed Seasons 1-12&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Homicide: Life on the Street]]'' seasons&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Homicide: Life on the Street]]'', add character wikilinks&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Veronica Mars]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add custom TOC to ''[[Veronica Mars]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Finish trimming ''[[Smallville]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Ed (TV series)|Ed]]'' seasons&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Finish trimming ''[[Alias (TV series)|Alias]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Finish trimming ''[[The West Wing]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Season 7]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[NewsRadio]]'' &lt;/s&gt; ''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Three Days of the Condor]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[It's a Wonderful Life]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Donnie Darko]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Separate out the [[Hellraiser]] films into their own pages, create disambig page for the series (as was done with the [[A Nightmare on Elm Street]] films)&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add page for ''[[Big Love]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[WKRP in Cincinnati]]'' seasons&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim and clean up ''[[Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008 TV series)]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add to [[Lionel Richie]]&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Separate out the [[James Bond]] films into their own pages, create disambig page&lt;/s&gt;. '''Completed'''
** &lt;s&gt;Completed for ''[[Dr. No (film)|Dr. No]]'', ''[[Goldfinger (film)|Goldfinger]]'', ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service (film)|On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]'' ''[[Thunderball (film)|Thunderball]]'', ''[[You Only Live Twice (film)|You Only Live Twice]]'', ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service (film)|On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]'', ''[[Diamonds Are Forever (film)|Diamonds Are Forever]]'', ''[[Live and Let Die (film)|Live and Let Die]]'', ''[[The Man with the Golden Gun (film)|The Man with the Golden Gun]]'', ''[[The Spy Who Loved Me (film)|The Spy Who Loved Me]]'', ''[[Moonraker (film)|Moonraker]]'', ''[[For Your Eyes Only (film)|For Your Eyes Only]]'', ''[[Tomorrow Never Dies]]'', ''[[The World Is Not Enough]]'', and ''[[Octopussy]]''.&lt;/s&gt;
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Cheers (TV series)|Cheers]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Grey's Anatomy]]'' and fix char links &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add a page for [[Holland-Dozier-Holland]] (Motown songwriters) &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add [[The Beach Boys]] &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add page for [[Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller]], songwriters &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[The Shield]]'' seasons &lt;/s&gt;  '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Magnum, P.I.]]'' seasons &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add page for [[The Allman Brothers Band]] &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Everwood]]'' seasons &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add pages for remaining [[Martin Scorsese]] films &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Monk (TV series)]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Create separate pages for each of the ''[[Highlander]]'' films &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Jericho (TV series)|Jericho]]'' episodes &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Family Feud]]'' and other game show pages. &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
&lt;/div&gt;

== Wikiquote pages ==
=== I created ===
* '''Films'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt; 
:''[[12 Years a Slave (film)|12 Years a Slave]]'' ~ ''[[13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi]]'' ~ ''[[20th Century Women]]'' ~ ''[[The 39 Steps (1935 film)|39 Steps, The (1935 film)]]'' ~ ''[[50/50 (2011 film)|50/50]]'' ~ ''[[127 Hours]]'' ~ ''[[The 400 Blows|400 Blows, The]]'' ~ ''[[The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T|5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, The]]'' ~ ''[[8½]]'' ~ ''[[A Star Is Born (1954 film)|Star is Born, A (1954 film)]]'' ~ ''[[About Last Night...]]'' ~ ''[[Absence of Malice]]'' ~ ''[[Absolute Power (film)|Absolute Power]]'' ~ ''[[The Accidental Tourist (film)|Accidental Tourist, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Accused (1988 film)|Accused, The (1988 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Adam's Rib]]'' ~ ''[[The Adjustment Bureau|Adjustment Bureau, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Adventures of Robin Hood (film)|Adventures of Robin Hood, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (film)|Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The]]'' ~ ''[[The African Queen|African Queen, The]]'' ~ ''[[After Dark, My Sweet]]'' ~ ''[[After Hours (film)|After Hours]]'' ~ ''[[Aguirre, the Wrath of God]]'' ~ ''[[The Alamo (1960 film)|Alamo, The (1960 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Albatross (film)|Albatross]]'' ~ ''[[Albino Alligator]]'' ~ ''[[Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore]]'' ~ ''[[All the King's Men (1949 film)]]'' ~ ''[[All the Right Moves]]'' ~ ''[[Almost Famous]]'' ~ ''[[American Graffiti]]'' ~ ''[[American Me]]'' ~ ''[[American Pie]]'' ~ ''[[American Pie 2]]'' ~ ''[[An American in Paris]]'' ~ ''[[American Sniper (film)|American Sniper]]'' ~ ''[[The Americanization of Emily|Americanization of Emily, The]]'' ~ ''[[Amistad (film)|Amistad]]'' ~ ''[[Amour (2012 film)|Amour]]'' ~ ''[[An Education]]'' ~ ''[[...And Justice for All (film)|...And Justice For All]]'' ~ ''[[And the Band Played On (film)|And the Band Played On]]'' ~ ''[[Angels with Dirty Faces]]'' ~ ''[[Animal Crackers (film)|Animal Crackers]]'' ~ ''[[Apocalypto]]'' ~ ''[[Apt Pupil (film)|Apt Pupil]]'' ~ ''[[Arrival (film)|Arrival]]'' ~ ''[[Assassination of a High School President]]'' ~ ''[[The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford|Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, The]]'' ~ ''[[Atlantic City (1980 film)|Atlantic City]]'' ~''[[Away from Her]]'' ~ ''[[The Awful Truth|Awful Truth, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Bad and the Beautiful|Bad and the Beautiful, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bad Day at Black Rock]]'' ~ ''[[Bad Moms]]'' ~ ''[[Bad Taste]]'' ~ ''[[Badlands (film)|Badlands]]'' ~ ''[[Bananas (film)|Bananas]]'' ~ ''[[Barcelona (film)|Barcelona]]'' ~ ''[[Barry Lyndon]]'' ~ ''[[Batman (1966 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Beasts of the Southern Wild]]'' ~ ''[[Beau Geste (1939 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Beautiful Girls (film)|Beautiful Girls]]'' ~ ''[[The Beast of Yucca Flats|Beast of Yucca Flats, The]]'' ~ ''[[Before Midnight (film)|Before Midnight]]'' ~ ''[[The Believer (film)|Believer, The]]'' ~ ''[[Ben-Hur (1959 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Best in Show]]'' ~ ''[[Best Laid Plans (1999 film)|Best Laid Plans]]'' ~ ''[[The Best Years of Our Lives|Best Years of Our Lives, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bicycle Thieves]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Chill (film)|The Big Chill]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Easy (film)|Big Easy, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Red One|Big Red One, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Short (film)|Big Short, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Sleep (1946 film)|Big Sleep, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Birds|Birds, The]]'' ~ ''[[Birdman (film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Black Cat (1934 film)|Black Cat, The]]'' ~ ''[[BlacKkKlansman]]'' ~ ''[[Black Swan (film)|Black Swan]]'' ~ ''[[The Blood on Satan's Claw|Blood on Satan's Claw. The]]'' ~ ''[[Blood Simple]]'' ~ ''[[Blow Out]]'' ~ ''[[Blue Chips]]'' ~ ''[[Blue Collar (film)|Blue Collar]]'' ~ ''[[Blue Jasmine]]'' ~ ''[[Blue Velvet]]'' ~ ''[[Bohemian Rhapsody (film)|Bohemian Rhapsody]]'' ~ ''[[The Bold Caballero|Bold Caballero, The]]'' ~ ''[[Borat Subsequent Moviefilm]]'' ~ ''[[Boyhood (film)|Boyhood]]'' ~ ''[[The Boys from Brazil (film)|Boys from Brazil, The]]'' ~ ''[[Boys Town (film)|Boys Town]]'' ~ ''[[Boyz n the Hood]]'' ~ ''[[Breaking Away]]'' ~ ''[[Brian's Song]]'' ~ ''[[Bridge of Spies (film)|Bridge of Spies]]'' ~ ''[[Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia]]'' ~ ''[[Broadcast News (film)|Broadcast News]]'' ~ ''[[Brooklyn (film)|Brooklyn]]'' ~ ''[[The Brothers McMullen|Brothers McMullen, The]]'' ~ ''[[Brubaker]]'' ~ ''[[Bull Durham]]'' ~ ''[[Bullitt]]'' ~ ''[[The Cabin in the Woods|Cabin in the Woods, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Caine Mutiny (film)|Caine Mutiny, The]]'' ~ ''[[Camille (1936 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Can't Buy Me Love]]'' ~ ''[[Candy (2006 film)|Candy]]'' ~ ''[[Cape Fear (1991 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Capricorn One]]'' ~ ''[[Captain Phillips (film)|Captain Phillips]]'' ~ ''[[Carnal Knowledge]]'' ~ ''[[Carol (film)|Carol]]'' ~ ''[[Casualties of War]]'' ~ ''[[Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (film)|Cat on a Hot Tin Roof]]'' ~ ''[[Chasing Amy]]'' ~ ''[[Children of Paradise]]'' ~ ''[[Children of the Corn (1984 film)|Children of the Corn]]'' ~ ''[[China Seas (film)|China Seas]]'' ~ ''[[Chloe (film)|Chloe]]'' ~ ''[[Chocolat (2000 film)|Chocolat]]'' ~ ''[[A Chorus Line (film)|Chorus Line, A]]'' ~ ''[[Christine (1983 film)|Christine]]'' ~ ''[[The Cincinnati Kid|Cincinnati Kid, The]]'' ''[[City of Angels]]'' ~ ''[[Class of Nuke 'Em High]]'' ~ ''[[Close Encounters Of The Third Kind]]'' ~ ''[[Collateral]]'' ~ ''[[The Color Purple (film)|Color Purple, The]]'' ~ ''[[Coma (1978 film)|Coma]]'' ~ ''[[Coming Home]]'' ~ ''[[The Commitments|Commitments, The]]'' ~ ''[[Compulsion (film)|Compulsion]]'' ~ ''[[The Constant Gardener (film)|Constant Gardener, The]]'' ~ ''[[Contagion (film)|Contagion]]'' ~ ''[[The Contender (film)|Contender, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Conversation|Conversation, The]]'' ~  ''[[Crazy Rich Asians (film)|Crazy Rich Asians]]'' ~ ''[[Crimewave]]'' ~ ''[[Crimson Tide]]'' ~ ''[[Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon]]'' ~ ''[[Croupier (film)|Croupier]]'' ~ ''[[Cry Freedom]]'' ~ ''[[The Crying Game|Crying Game, The]]'' ~ ''[[Dallas Buyers Club]]'' ~ ''[[Dances with Wolves]]'' ~ ''[[Dark Passage (film)‎|Dark Passage]]'' ~ ''[[Dave (film)|Dave]]'' ~ ''[[The Day of the Jackal (film)|Day of the Jackal, The]]'' ~ ''[[D.E.B.S.]]'' ~ ''[[Dead Calm (film)|Dead Calm]]'' ~ ''[[Dead Man Walking (film)|Dead Man Walking]]'' ~ ''[[The Dead Zone (film)|Dead Zone, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Deer Hunter|Deer Hunter, The]]'' ~ ''[[Deliverance]]'' ~ ''[[The Descendants (film)|Descendants, The]]'' ~ ''[[Destry Rides Again]]'' ~ ''[[Devil in a Blue Dress (film)|Devil in a Blue Dress]]'' ~ ''[[Dial M for Murder]]'' ~ ''[[The Dirty Dozen|Dirty Dozen, The]]'' ~ ''[[Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (film)]]'' ~ ''[[Disturbing Behavior]]'' ~ ''[[Dodsworth (film)|Dodsworth]]'' ~ ''[[Don Jon]]'' ~ ''[[Don Q, Son of Zorro]]'' ~ ''[[Don't Look Up]]'' ~ ''[[The Doors (film)|Doors, The]]'' ~ ''[[Dracula (1958 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Dracula: Prince of Darkness]]'' ~ ''[[Dracula's Daughter]]'' ~ ''[[Dreamscape (1984 film)|Dreamscape]]'' ~ ''[[Dressed to Kill (1980 film)|Dressed to Kill]]'' ~ ''[[Drowning Mona]]'' ~ ''[[Drugstore Cowboy]]'' ~ ''[[Drumline (film)|Drumline]]'' ~ ''[[Duck Soup]]'' ~ ''[[Duel in the Sun (film)|Duel in the Sun]]'' ~ ''[[Easy Rider]]'' ~ ''[[The Edge of Seventeen|Edge of Seventeen, The]]'' ~ ''[[Eight Men Out]]'' ~ ''[[Election (1999 film)|Election]]'' ~ ''[[Elizabeth (film)|Elizabeth]]'' ~ ''[[Elmer Gantry (film)|Elmer Gantry]]'' ~ ''[[Elves (film)|Elves]]'' ~ ''[[The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain|Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain, The]]'' ~ ''[[Escape from New York]]'' ~ ''[[Everest (2015 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Everybody Wants Some!! (film)|Everybody Wants Some!!]]'' ~ ''[[Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask)]]'' ~ ''[[The Evil Dead|Evil Dead, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Exorcist|Exorcist, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Fabulous Baker Boys|Fabulous Baker Boys, The]]'' ~ ''[[A Face in the Crowd (film)|Face in the Crowd, A]]'' ~ ''[[Farewell, My Lovely (1975 film)|Farewell, My Lovely (1975)]]'' ~ ''[[Fatal Attraction]]'' ~ ''[[Father of the Bride (1991 film)|Father of the Bride]]'' ~ ''[[The Favourite (film)|Favourite, The]]'' ~ ''[[Fences (film)|Fences]]'' ~ ''[[The Fighter|Fighter, The]]'' ~ ''[[First Knight]]'' ~ ''[[First Reformed]]'' ~ ''[[Five Easy Pieces]]'' ~ ''[[Five Minutes of Heaven]]'' ~ ''[[Force 10 from Navarone (film)|Force 10 from Navarone]]'' ~ ''[[Foreign Correspondent (film)|Foreign Correspondent]]'' ~ ''[[The Formula (1980 film)|Formula, The]]'' ~ ''[[Frailty]]'' ~ ''[[Frances Ha]]'' ~ ''[[The French Connection (film)|French Connection, The]]'' ~ ''[[Frenzy]]'' ~ ''[[Friday Night Lights (film)|Friday Night Lights]]'' ~ ''[[The Friends of Eddie Coyle|Friends of Eddie Coyle, The]]'' ~ ''[[From Here to Eternity]]'' ~ ''[[Frost/Nixon (film)|Frost/Nixon]]'' ~ ''[[Funny Farm (film)|Funny Farm]]'' ~ ''[[Fury (1936 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Gallipoli (1981 film)|Gallipoli]]'' ~ ''[[Gandhi (film)|Gandhi]]'' ~ ''[[Gaslight (1944 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Get Out (film)|Get Out]]'' ~ ''[[The Getaway (1972 film)|Getaway, The (1972)]]'' ~ ''[[The Giant Claw|Giant Claw, The]]'' ~ ''[[Glen or Glenda]]'' ~ ''[[Glory (film)|Glory]]'' ~ ''[[Go (1999 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Godfather: Part II|Godfather, The: Part II]]'' ~ ''[[The Grand Budapest Hotel|Grand Budapest Hotel, The]]'' ~ ''[[Grand Canyon (1991 film)|Grand Canyon]]'' ~ ''[[The Grapes of Wrath (film)|Grapes of Wrath, The]]'' ~ ''[[Gravity (film)|Gravity]]'' ~ ''[[Green Book (film)|Green Book]]'' ~ ''[[Green Room (film)|Green Room]]'' ~ ''[[Green Zone (film)|Green Zone]]'' ~ ''[[Greenberg (film)|Greenberg]]'' ~ ''[[The Grifters (film)|Grifters, The]]'' ~ ''[[Guarding Tess]]'' ~ ''[[Gun Crazy]]'' ~ ''[[Gung Ho (film)|Gung Ho]]'' ~ ''[[Hacksaw Ridge]]'' ~ ''[[Halloween (1978 film)|Halloween]]'' ~ ''[[Hannah and Her Sisters]]'' ~ ''[[The Happening (2008 film)|Happening, The]]'' ~ ''[[Hard Candy (film)|Hard Candy]]'' ~ ''[[Hard Eight (film)|Hard Eight]]'' ~ ''[[The Hateful Eight|Hateful Eight, The]]'' ~ ''[[Hellbound: Hellraiser II]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Bloodline]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Inferno]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Hellseeker]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Deader]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Hellworld]]'' ~ ''[[Her (film)|Her]]'' ~ ''[[Hereditary (film)|Hereditary]]'' ~ ''[[Hidden Figures]]'' ~ ''[[The Hidden Fortress|Hidden Fortress, The]]'' ~ ''[[High Noon]]'' ~ ''[[Holiday Inn (film)|Holiday Inn]]'' ~ ''[[Il Postino]]'' ~ ''[[His Girl Friday]]'' ~ ''[[Hollywood Shuffle]]'' ~ ''[[Hoosiers]]'' ~ ''[[Horse Feathers]]'' ~ ''[[The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939 film)|Hound of the Baskervilles, The (1939 film)]]'' ~ ''[[House of Usher (film)|House of Usher]]'' ~ ''[[How Green Was My Valley (film)|How Green Was My Valley]]'' ~ ''[[How the West Was Won (film)|How the West Was Won]]'' ~ ''[[Hud (film)|Hud]]'' ~ ''[[The Hustler|Hustler, The]]'' ~ ''[[I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang]]'' ~ ''[[The Ides of March (film)|Ides of March]]'' ~ ''[[If....]]'' ~ ''[[Imagine Me &amp; You]]'' ~ ''[[The Imitation Game|Imitation Game, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Impossible (2012 film)|Impossible, The]]'' ~ ''[[In &amp; Out]]'' ~ ''[[In a Lonely Place]]'' ~ ''[[In Cold Blood (film)|In Cold Blood]]'' ~ ''[[In the Line of Fire]]'' ~ ''[[In the Name of the Father (film)|In the Name of the Father]]'' ~ ''[[Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Invitation (2015 film)|Invitation, The]]'' ~ ''[[It (2017 film)]]'' ~ ''[[It Conquered the World]]'' ~ ''[[It Follows]]'' ~ ''[[It Happened One Night]]'' ~ ''[[JFK (film)|JFK]]'' ~ ''[[Jacob's Ladder (film)|Jacob's Ladder]]'' ~ ''[[Jailhouse Rock (film)|Jailhouse Rock]]'' ~ ''[[Jigsaw (1949 film)|Jigsaw]]'' ~ ''[[Joe Versus the Volcano]]'' ~ ''[[John Adams (miniseries)|John Adams]]'' ~ ''[[Just Before Dawn (1981 film)|Just Before Dawn]]'' ~ ''[[Just One of the Guys]]'' ~ ''[[K2 (film)|K2]]'' ~ ''[[Kagemusha]]'' ~ ''[[The Kentucky Fried Movie|Kentucky Fried Movie, The]]'' ~ ''[[Kicking and Screaming]]'' ~ ''[[The Kids Are All Right (film)|Kids Are All Right, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Killer Inside Me (2010 film)|Killer Inside Me, The]]'' ~ ''[[Killer Klowns From Outer Space]]'' ~ ''[[The Killing (film)|Killing, The]]'' ~ ''[[The King of Comedy (1983 film)|The King of Comedy]]'' ~ ''[[King of New York]]'' ~ ''[[The King's Speech|King's Speech, The]]'' ~ ''[[Kings Row]]'' ~ ''[[Kiss Me Deadly]]'' ~ ''[[Klute]]'' ~ ''[[Knives Out]]'' ~ ''[[La La Land (film)|La La Land]]'' ~ ''[[Lady Bird (film)|Lady Bird]]'' ~ ''[[The Lady Eve|Lady Eve, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Lady from Shanghai|Lady from Shanghai, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Lady Vanishes (1938 film)|Lady Vanishes, The (1938 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Last Days of Disco|Last Days of Disco, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Last Detail|Last Detail, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Last of the Mohicans (1992 film)|Last of the Mohicans, The (1992 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Last Picture Show|Last Picture Show, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Last Seduction|Last Seduction, The]]'' ~ ''[[Laura (1944 film)|Laura]]'' ~ ''[[The Lavender Hill Mob|Lavender Hill Mob, The]]'' ~ ''[[Leave Her to Heaven]]'' ~ ''[[Leaving Las Vegas]]'' ~ ''[[The Letter (1940 film)|Letter, The (1940 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Letter from an Unknown Woman (1948 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Life of David Gale|Life of David Gale, The]]'' ~ ''[[Lifeboat (film)|Lifeboat]]'' ~ ''[[Lincoln (2012 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Lion (2016 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Little Caesar (film)|Little Caesar]]'' ~ ''[[The Lobster|Lobster, The]]'' ~ ''[[Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels]]'' ~ ''[[Lolita (1962 film)|Lolita (1962 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Lone Star (1996 film)|Lone Star]]'' ~ ''[[The Long Goodbye (film)|Long Goodbye, The]]'' ~ ''[[Looper (film)|Looper]]'' ~ ''[[Lorenzo's Oil]]'' ~ ''[[Lost Horizon (film)|Lost Horizon]]'' ~ ''[[The Lost Weekend|Lost Weekend, The]]'' ~ ''[[Lucas (film)|Lucas]]'' ~ ''[[MacArthur (film)|MacArthur]]'' ~ ''[[The Magnificent Ambersons (film)|Magnificent Ambersons, The]]'' ~ ''[[Man of the West]]'' ~ ''[[The Man in the Moon|Man in the Moon, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Man Who Wasn't There|Man Who Wasn't There, The]]'' ~ ''[[Margin Call]]'' ~ ''[[Margot at the Wedding]]'' ~ ''[[The Mark of Zorro (1920 film)|Mark of Zorro, The (1920 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Mark of Zorro (1940 film)|Mark of Zorro, The (1940 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Mark of Zorro (1974 film)|Mark of Zorro, The (1974 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Marnie (film)|Marnie]]'' ~ ''[[Marriage Story]]'' ~ ''[[The Martian (film)|Martian, The]]'' ~ ''[[Marty (film)|Marty]]'' ~ ''[[The Master (2012 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Master of the World (1961 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Mean Streets]]'' ~ ''[[Meatballs (film)|Meatballs]]'' ~ ''[[Meet John Doe]]'' ~ ''[[Meet Me in St. Louis]]'' ~ ''[[Meet the Parents]]'' ~ ''[[The Messenger (2009 film)|Messenger, The]]'' ~ ''[[Metropolis (1927 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Metropolitan (film)|Metropolitan]]'' ~ ''[[Midnight Cowboy]]'' ~ ''[[Midnight Express (film)|Midnight Express]]'' ~ ''[[Midsommar (film)|Midsommar]]'' ~ ''[[Mildred Pierce (film)|Mildred Pierce]]'' ~ ''[[Miracle on 34th Street]]'' ~ ''[[Mississippi Burning]]'' ~ ''[[The Missouri Breaks|Missouri Breaks, The]]'' ~ ''[[Mr. Holland's Opus]]'' ~ ''[[Mr. Mom]]'' ~ ''[[Mr. Smith Goes to Washington]]'' ~ ''[[Mrs. Miniver (film)|Mrs. Miniver]]'' ~ ''[[Molly's Game]]'' ~ ''[[Moneyball (film)|Moneyball]]'' ~ ''[[Moonlight (2016 film)|Moonlight]]'' ~ ''[[Moonrise Kingdom]]'' ~ ''[[Mud (2012 film)|Mud]]'' ~ ''[[Mudbound (film)|Mudbound]]'' ~ ''[[Murder, My Sweet]]'' ~ ''[[Murder on the Orient Express (1974 film)|Murder on the Orient Express]]'' ~ ''[[Mutiny on the Bounty (1935 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Mutiny on the Bounty (1962 film)]]'' ~ ''[[My Darling Clementine]]'' ~ ''[[My Man Godfrey]]'' ~ ''[[Mystic Pizza]]'' ~ ''[[The Naked City|Naked City, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Natural (film)|Natural, The]]'' ~ ''[[Near Dark]]'' ~ ''[[Nebraska (film)|Nebraska]]'' ~ ''[[Needful Things (film)|Needful Things]]'' ~ ''[[Never Give a Sucker an Even Break|Never Give a Sucker an Even Break]]'' ~ ''[[Never Let Me Go (2010 film)|Never Let Me Go]]'' ~ ''[[New York, New York (film)|New York, New York]]'' ~ ''[[Night Moves (film)|Night Moves]]'' ~ ''[[Night Shift (film)|Night Shift]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street|Nightmare on Elm Street, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge|Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors|Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master|Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child|Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, A]]'' ~ ''[[Ninotchka]]'' ~ ''[[No Way Out (1987 film)|No Way Out]]'' ~ ''[[Nomadland (film)|Nomadland]]'' ~ ''[[North by Northwest]]'' ~ ''[[Notes on a Scandal (film)|Notes on a Scandal]]'' ~ ''[[Notorious]]'' ~ ''[[Now, Voyager]]'' ~ ''[[Ocean's Thirteen]]'' ~ ''[[Office Christmas Party]]'' ~ ''[[Oklahoma (1955 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Once Upon a Time in Hollywood]]'' ~ ''[[One Night in Miami...]]'' ~ ''[[The Opposite of Sex|Opposite of Sex, The]]'' ~ ''[[Out of the Past]]'' ~ ''[[Out of Sight]]'' ~ ''[[Outside Providence (film)|Outside Providence]]'' ~ ''[[The Package (1989 film)|Package, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Paper Chase (film)|Paper Chase, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Paradine Case|Paradine Case, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Parallax View|Parallax View]]'' ~ ''[[Parasite (2019 film)|Parasite]]'' ~ ''[[Paths of Glory]]'' ~ ''[[The Pawnbroker (film)|The Pawnbroker]]'' ~ ''[[Pay It Forward]]'' ~ ''[[Peggy Sue Got Married]]'' ~ ''[[The Pelican Brief (film)|Pelican Brief, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Perks of Being a Wallflower (film)|Perks of Being a Wallflower, The]]'' ~ ''[[Pet Sematary (film)|Pet Sematary]]'' ~ ''[[The Piano|Piano, The]]'' ~ ''[[Pickup on South Street]]'' ~ ''[[Pillow Talk (film)|Pillow Talk]]'' ~ ''[[The Pink Panther (1963 film)|Pink Panther, The (1963)]]'' ~ ''[[Pitch Perfect 2]]'' ~ ''[[Play Misty for Me]]'' ~ ''[[The Player (film)|Player, The]]'' ~ ''[[Point Blank (1967 film)|Point Blank]]'' ~ ''[[Poltergeist (film)|Poltergeist]]'' ~ ''[[Ponette]]'' ~ ''[[The Power of the Dog (film)|Power of the Dog, The]]'' ~ ''[[Precious: Based on the Novel &quot;Push&quot; by Sapphire]]'' ~ ''[[Presumed Innocent (film)|Presumed Innocent]]'' ~ ''[[Primal Fear (film)|Primal Fear]]'' ~ ''[[Private Parts]]'' ~ ''[[The Producers (1968 film)|Producers (1968 film), The]]'' ~ ''[[The Producers (2005 film)|Producers (2005 film), The]]'' ~ ''[[Project X (2012 film)]]'' ~''[[Prometheus (film)|Prometheus]]'' ~ ''[[Promising Young Woman]]'' ~ ''[[Pump Up the Volume|Pump Up the Volume]]'' ~ ''[[The Purple Rose of Cairo|Purple Rose of Cairo, The]]'' ~ ''[[Q&amp;A (film)|Q&amp;A]]'' ~ ''[[Queen Christina (film)|Queen Christina]]'' ~ ''[[Raiders of the Lost Ark]]'' ~ ''[[The Rainmaker (1997 film)|Rainmaker, The]]'' ~ ''[[Ransom (1996 film)|Ransom]]'' ~ ''[[The Raven (1963 film)|Raven, The]]'' ~ ''[[Raw Deal (1948 film)|Raw Deal (1948)]]'' ~ ''[[Rebecca (film)|Rebecca]]'' ~ ''[[Rebel Without a Cause]]'' ~ ''[[Red River (film)|Red River]]'' ~ ''[[Red Rock West]]'' ~ ''[[The Red Shoes (1948 film)|Red Shoes, The]]'' ~ ''[[Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins]]'' ~ ''[[The Revenant (2015 film)|Revenant, The]]'' ~ ''[[Reversal of Fortune]]'' ~ ''[[Risky Business]]'' ~ ''[[A River Runs Through It (film)|A River Runs Through It]]'' ~ ''[[The Road (film)|Road, The]]'' ~ ''[[Road to Perdition]]'' ~ ''[[The Roaring Twenties|Roaring Twenties, The]]'' ~ ''[[Rob Roy (1995 film)|Rob Roy]]'' ~ ''[[Robot Monster]]'' ~ ''[[RockNRolla]]'' ~ ''[[Rocky II]]'' ~ ''[[Rolling Thunder (film)|Rolling Thunder]]'' ~ ''[[Romancing the Stone]]'' ~ ''[[Room (2015 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Rope (film)|Rope]]'' ~ ''[[Rosemary's Baby (film)|Rosemary's Baby]]'' ~ ''[[The Rules of the Game|Rules of the Game, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Ruling Class|Ruling Class, The]]'' ~ ''[[Rush (1991 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Saboteur (film)|Saboteur]]'' ~ ''[[St. Elmo's Fire (film)|St. Elmo's Fire]]'' ~ ''[[Salvador (film)|Salvador]]'' ~ ''[[Sands of Iwo Jima]]'' ~ ''[[Sanjuro]]'' ~ ''[[Santa Claus Conquers the Martians]]'' ~ ''[[The Savages (film)|Savages, The]]'' ~ ''[[School Ties]]'' ~ ''[[The Science of Sleep|Science of Sleep, The]]'' ~ ''[[Scorpio (film)|Scorpio]]'' ~ ''[[Scott Pilgrim vs. the World]]'' ~ ''[[The Set-Up (1949 film)|Set-Up, The (1949)]]'' ~ ''[[Seven Days in May]]'' ~ ''[[Sexy Beast]]'' ~ ''[[Shadow of a Doubt]]'' ~ ''[[Shakespeare in Love]]'' ~ ''[[She's the One]]'' ~ ''[[A Shot in the Dark (1964 film)|Shot in the Dark, A (1964)]]'' ~ ''[[Shutter Island (film)|Shutter Island]]'' ~ ''[[Sicario (2015 film)|Sicario]]'' ~ ''[[Silver Bullet (film)|Silver Bullet]]'' ~ ''[[Silver Linings Playbook]]'' ~ ''[[Silver Streak (1976 film)|Silver Streak]]'' ~ ''[[Singin' In The Rain]]'' ~ ''[[Singles (1992 film)|Singles]]'' ~ ''[[Slacker (film)|slacker]]'' ~ ''[[Sleeping with the Enemy]]'' ~ ''[[Sneakers (1992 film)|Sneakers]]'' ~ ''[[Snowpiercer]]'' ~ ''[[Something Wicked This Way Comes (film)|Something Wicked This Way Comes]]'' ~ ''[[Sometimes in April]]'' ~ ''[[Sorcerer (film)|Sorcerer]]'' ~ ''[[The Sound of Music|Sound of Music, The]]'' ~ ''[[Southland Tales]]'' ~ ''[[The Spanish Prisoner|Spanish Prisoner, The]]'' ~ ''[[Speak (film)|Speak]]'' ~ ''[[The Spectacular Now|Spectacular Now, The]]'' ~ ''[[Spotlight (film)|Spotlight]]'' ~ ''[[The Squid and the Whale|Squid and the Whale, The]]'' ~ ''[[Stage Door]]'' ~ ''[[Stagecoach (1939 film)‎|Stagecoach]]'' ~ ''[[The Stanford Prison Experiment (film)|Stanford Prison Experiment, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Star Chamber|Star Chamber, The]]'' ~ ''[[State of Grace (film)|State of Grace]]'' ~ ''[[The Stepfather (1987 film)|Stepfather, The (1987)]]'' ~ ''[[Straight Outta Compton (film)|Straight Outta Compton]]'' ~ ''[[The Strange Love of Martha Ivers|Strange Love of Martha Ivers, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Stranger (1946 film)|Stranger, The (1946)]]'' ~ ''[[Strangers on a Train]]'' ~ ''[[Stranger on the Third Floor]]'' ~ ''[[Stripes]]'' ~ ''[[The Sundowners|Sundowners, The]]'' ~ ''[[Super Size Me]]'' ~ ''[[Superman: The Movie]]'' ~ ''[[Superman II]]'' ~ ''[[Suspicion (film)|Suspicion]]'' ~ ''[[Sweet Home Alabama]]'' ~ ''[[Swimming to Cambodia]]'' ~ ''[[Taps]]'' ~ ''[[Target (1985 film)|Target (1985)]]'' ~ ''[[Targets]]'' ~ ''[[Terms of Endearment]]'' ~ ''[[Thank You for Smoking]]'' ~ ''[[Thelma &amp; Louise]]'' ~ ''[[They Live by Night]]'' ~ ''[[This Is the End]]'' ~ ''[[The Three Musketeers (1948 film)|Three Musketeers, The (1948)]]'' ~ ''[[Tin Cup]]'' ~ ''[[Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (film)|Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy]]'' ~ ''[[Titanic (1953 film)]]'' ~ ''[[To Catch a Thief (film)|To Catch a Thief]]'' ~ ''[[To Kill a Mockingbird (film)|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' ~ ''[[To Live and Die in L.A. (film)|To Live and Die in L.A.]]'' ~ ''[[Tomorrow Never Dies]]'' ~ ''[[Tootsie]]'' ~ ''[[Top Gun]]'' ~ ''[[Topaz (1969 film)|Topaz]]'' ~ ''[[Torn Curtain]]'' ~ ''[[The Town (2010 film)|Town, The (2010)]]'' ~ ''[[The Toxic Avenger|Toxic Avenger, The]]'' ~ ''[[Trading Places]]'' ~ ''[[The Trial (1962 film)|Trial, The (1962)]]'' ~ ''[[The Trial of the Chicago 7|Trial of the Chicago 7, The]]'' ~ ''[[Trouble in Paradise (1932 film)]]'' ~ ''[[True Grit (2010 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Twilight Zone: The Movie]]'' ~ ''[[Twins (1988 film)|Twins]]'' ~ ''[[Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me]]'' ~ ''[[The Two Jakes|Two Jakes, The]]'' ~ ''[[Uncle Buck]]'' ~ ''[[Up in the Air (film)|Up in the Air]]'' ~ ''[[Up the Down Staircase (film)|Up the Down Staircase]]'' ~ ''[[Us (2019 film)|Us (2019)]]'' ~ ''[[Vanishing Point (1971 film)|Vanishing Point]]'' ~ ''[[Varsity Blues (film)|Varsity Blues]]'' ~ ''[[The Verdict|Verdict, The]]'' ~ ''[[Vertigo]]'' ~ ''[[Very Bad Things]]'' ~ ''[[Vice (2018 film)|Vice]]'' ~ ''[[The Visit (2015 American film)|Visit, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Way Way Back|Way Way Back, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Wedding Date|Wedding Date, The]]'' ~ ''[[Wes Craven's New Nightmare]]'' ~ ''[[When a Stranger Calls (1979 film)|When a Stranger Calls (1979)]]'' ~ ''[[While We're Young (film)|While We're Young]]'' ~ ''[[Whiplash (2014 film)|Whiplash]]'' ~ ''[[White Men Can't Jump]]'' ~ ''[[The Whole Nine Yards|Whole Nine Yards, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Wicker Man|Wicker Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Wild at Heart (film)|Wild at Heart]]'' ~ ''[[The Wild Bunch|Wild Bunch, The]]'' ~ ''[[Wild Things (film)|Wild Things]]'' ~ ''[[Winter's Bone]]'' ~ ''[[The Witch (2015 film)|Witch, the]]'' ~ ''[[The Witches of Eastwick (film)|Witches of Eastwick, The]]'' ~ ''[[Witchfinder General (film)|Witchfinder General]]'' ~ ''[[Witness (1985 film)|Witness]]'' ~ ''[[The Wolf of Wall Street (2013 film)|Wolf of Wall Street, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Woman in the Window|Woman in the Window, The]]'' ~ ''[[Woman of the Year]]'' ~ ''[[Wonder Boys (film)|Wonder Boys]]'' ~ ''[[Working Girl]]'' ~ ''[[The World According to Garp (film)|World According to Garp]]'' ~ ''[[The World Is Not Enough|World Is Not Enough, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Wrestler (2008 film)|Wrestler, The]]'' ~ ''[[Written on the Wind]]'' ~ ''[[The Wrong Man|Wrong Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Wuthering Heights (1939 film)]]'' ~ ''[[X the Unknown]]'' ~ ''[[Y Tu Mamá También]]'' ~ ''[[The Yakuza|Yakuza, The]]'' ~ ''[[Young Mr. Lincoln]]'' ~ ''[[Youngblood (1986 film)|Youngblood]]''
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''TV Shows'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;   
:''[[American Dreams]]'' ~ ''[[American Gods (TV series)|American Gods]]'' ~ ''[[American Gothic (TV series)|American Gothic]]'' ~ ''[[American Horror Story]]'' ~ ''[[Barney Miller]]'' ~ ''[[Beauty and the Geek]]'' ~ ''[[Big Love]]'' ~ ''[[Big Shots (TV series)|Big Shots]]'' ~ ''[[Billions (TV series)|Billions]]'' ~ ''[[Boomtown]]'' ~ ''[[Boston Public]]'' ~ ''[[The Bridge (2013 TV series)|Bridge, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bridgerton]]'' ~ ''[[Brotherhood (2006 TV series)|Brotherhood]]'' ~ ''[[Camelot (TV series)|Camelot]]'' ~ ''[[A Charlie Brown Christmas|Charlie Brown Christmas, A]]'' ~ ''[[China Beach]]'' ~ ''[[Chuck (TV series)|Chuck]]'' ~ ''[[The Closer|Closer, The]]'' ~ ''[[Columbo]]'' ~ ''[[Crime Story (TV series)|Crime Story]]'' ~ ''[[Criminal Minds]]'' ~ ''[[Damages (TV series)|Damages]]'' ~ ''[[Danger Man]]'' ~ ''[[w:Dark (TV series)|Dark]]'' ~ ''[[Dirty Sexy Money]]'' ~''[[Ed (TV series)|Ed]]'' ~ ''[[The Event|Event, The]]'' ~ ''[[Felicity (TV series)|Felicity]]'' ~ ''[[Ghost Whisperer]]'' ~ ''[[The Good Wife (TV series)|Good Wife, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Handmaid's Tale (TV series)|Handmaid's Tale, The]]'' ~ ''[[Happy Endings (TV series)|Happy Endings]]'' ~ ''[[The Haunting of Hill House (TV series)|Haunting of Hill House, The]]'' ~ ''[[Hill Street Blues]]'' ~ ''[[Homicide: Life on the Street]]'' ~ ''[[House of Lies]]'' ~ ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'' ~ ''[[In Treatment]]'' ~ ''[[Jericho (TV series)|Jericho]]'' ~ ''[[Jersey Shore]]'' ~ ''[[Justified (TV series)|Justified]]'' ~ ''[[Luther (TV series)|Luther]]'' ~ ''[[Midnight Mass (miniseries)|Midnight Mass]]'' ~ ''[[Murder One (TV series)|Murder One]]'' ~ ''[[My So-Called Life]]'' ~ ''[[Narcos]]'' ~ ''[[NYPD Blue]]'' ~ ''[[October Road]]'' ~ ''[[Ozark (TV series)|Ozark]]'' ~ ''[[Party of Five]]'' ~ ''[[Prison Break]]'' ~ ''[[Raising Hope]]'' ~ ''[[Ringer (TV series)|Ringer]]'' ~ ''[[Rubicon (TV series)|Rubicon]]'' ~ ''[[Runaway (TV series)|Runaway]]'' ~ ''[[Salem's Lot (1979 miniseries)]]'' ~ ''[[Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (film)|Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town]]'' ~ ''[[Schoolhouse Rock!]]'' ~ ''[[Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!]]'' ~ ''[[The Shield|Shield, The]]'' ~ ''[[Soap (TV series)|Soap]]'' ~ ''[[Sons of Anarchy]]'' ~ ''[[Spartacus: Blood and Sand]]'' ~ ''[[St. Elsewhere]]'' ~ ''[[Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri]]'' ~ ''[[Top Chef]]'' ~ ''[[Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974 TV special)|Twas the Night Before Christmas]]'' ~ ''[[The Twilight Zone (1985 TV series)]]'' ~ [[Utopia (UK TV series)|''Utopia'']] ~ ''[[Vikings (2013 TV series)|Vikings]]'' ~ ''[[Wildfire (TV series)|Wildfire]]'' ~ ''[[Without a Trace]]'' ~ ''[[The Year Without a Santa Claus|Year Without a Santa Claus, The]]'' ~ ''[[Zorro Rides Again]]'' ~ ''[[Zorro's Fighting Legion]]''
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''People''' 
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Aravind Adiga|Adiga, Aravind]] ~ [[Matthew Arnold|Arnold, Matthew]] ~ [[Chester A. Arthur|Arthur, Chester A.]] ~ [[Richard Barnfield|Barnfield, Richard]] ~ [[Aphra Behn|Behn, Aphra]] ~ [[Edward Bellamy|Bellamy, Edward]] ~ [[Claude Bernard|Bernard, Claude]] ~ [[Gabriel Biel|Biel, Gabriel]] ~ [[Bion]] ~ [[William Blackstone|Blackstone, William]] ~ [[Alexis Bledel|Bledel, Alexis]] ~ [[Roy Blount, Jr.|Blount, Roy]] ~ [[Franz Boas|Boas, Franz]] ~ [[Jacques-Bénigne Bossuet|Bossuet, Jacques-Bénigne]] ~ [[Carl Bernstein|Bernstein, Carl]] ~ [[William Bradford (1590-1657)|Bradford, William]] ~ [[F. H. Bradley|Bradley, F. H.]] ~ [[Robert Bridges|Bridges, Robert]] ~ [[Rick Bright|Bright, Rick]] ~ [[Henry Brougham, 1st Baron Brougham and Vaux|Brougham, Henry]] ~ [[Pierce Brown|Brown, Pierce]] ~ [[James Buchanan|Buchanan, James]] ~ [[Georg Büchner|Büchner, Georg]] ~ [[John C. Calhoun|Calhoun, John C.]] ~ [[Thomas Campbell|Campbell, Thomas]] ~ [[Jane Welsh Carlyle|Carlyle, Jane Welsh]] ~ [[Grover Cleveland|Cleveland, Grover]] ~ [[Stephen L. Carter|Carter, Stephen L.]] ~ [[Constantine P. Cavafy|Cavafy, Constantine P.]] ~ [[Émile Chartier|Chartier, Émile]] ~ [[Lee Child|Child, Lee]] ~ [[Arthur Hugh Clough|Clough, Arthur Hugh]] ~ [[Colley Cibber|Cibber, Colley]] ~ [[James Fenimore Cooper|Cooper, James Fenimore]] ~ [[Pierre Corneille|Corneille, Pierre]] ~ [[Rubén Darío|Darío, Rubén]] ~ [[Daniel Day-Lewis|Day-Lewis, Daniel]] ~ [[Pedro Calderón de la Barca|de la Barca, Pedro Calderón]] ~ [[Walter de la Mare|de la Mare, Walter]] ~ [[Alphonse de Lamartine|de Lamartine, Alphonse]] ~ [[Thomas De Quincey|De Quincey, Thomas]] ~ [[Carol Ann Duffy|Duffy, Carol Ann]] ~[[Charles Fletcher Dole|Dole, Charles Fletcher]] ~ [[Fernando de Rojas|de Rojas, Fernando]] ~ [[Anne Louise Germaine de Staël|de Staël, Anne Louise Germaine]] ~ [[E.L. Doctorow|Doctorow, E.L.]] ~ [[Richard Durbin|Durbin, Richard]] ~ [[Max Eastman|Eastman, Max]] ~ [[Jonathan Edwards|Edwards, Jonathan]] ~ [[Ralph Ellison|Ellison, Ralph]] ~ [[Ennius]] ~ [[Frederick William Faber|Faber, Frederick William]] ~ [[Eugene Field|Field, Eugene]] ~ [[Millard Fillmore|Fillmore, Millard]] ~ [[David Fincher|Fincher, David]] ~ [[Herbert Fisher|Fisher, Herbert]] ~ [[Patrick Fitzgerald|Fitzgerald, Patrick]] ~ [[Jeff Flake|Flake, Jeff]] ~ [[John Fletcher|Fletcher, John]] ~ [[Charles James Fox|Fox, Charles James]] ~ [[James Frazer|Frazer, James]] ~ [[Peter Freund|Freund, Peter]] ~ [[Bill Frist|Frist, Bill]] ~ [[John Galsworthy|Galsworthy, John]] ~ [[James A. Garfield|Garfield, James A.]] ~ [[Kenneth Grahame|Grahame, Kenneth]] ~ [[Sarah Grimké|Grimké, Sarah]] ~ [[Joseph Hall|Hall, Joseph]] ~ [[Edith Hamilton|Hamilton, Edith]] ~ [[August Heckscher II|Heckscher II, August]] ~ [[Auberon Herbert|Herbert, Auberon]] ~ [[Holland-Dozier-Holland]] ~ [[Learned Hand|Hand, Learned]] ~ [[Warren G. Harding|Harding, Warren G.]]  ~ [[Ben Harper|Harper, Ben]] ~ [[Robert Harris (novelist)|Harris, Robert]] ~ [[William Henry Harrison|Harrison, William Henry]] ~ [[John Hart (author)|Hart, John]] ~ [[William Harvey|Harvey, William]] ~ [[Rutherford B. Hayes|Hayes, Rutherford B.]] ~ [[William Randolph Hearst|Hearst, William Randolph]] ~ [[Reginald Heber|Heber, Reginald]] ~ [[Felicia Hemans|Hemans, Felicia]] ~ [[Robert Herrick (poet)|Herrick, Robert]] ~ [[Aaron Hill (writer)|Hill, Aaron]] ~ [[Thomas Hood|Hood, Thomas]] ~ [[William Dean Howells|Howells, William Dean]] ~ [[Ignatius of Loyola]] ~ [[Shirley Jackson|Jackson, Shirley]] ~ [[Jerome K. Jerome|Jerome, Jerome K.]] ~ [[Sarah Orne Jewett|Jewett, Sarah Orne]] ~ [[Andrew Johnson|Johnson, Andrew]] ~ [[James Weldon Johnson|Johnson, James Weldon]] ~ [[Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller]] ~ [[Junius]] ~ [[Yoshida Kenkō|Kenkō, Yoshida]] ~ [[Rockwell Kent|Kent, Rockwell]] ~ [[Jon Krakauer|Krakauer, Jon]] ~ [[Louis Kronenberger|Kronenberger, Louis]] ~ [[Johann Kaspar Lavater|Lavater, Johann Kaspar]] ~ [[Robert M. La Follette Sr.|La Follette Sr., Robert M.]] ~ [[Peter Mere Latham|Latham, Peter Mere]] ~ [[Dennis Lehane|Lehane, Dennis]] ~ [[Alain-René Lesage|Lesage, Alain-René]] ~ [[Henry Cabot Lodge|Lodge, Henry Cabot]] ~ [[Cesare Lombroso|Lombroso, Cesare]] ~ [[Richard Lovelace|Lovelace, Richard]] ~ [[James Russell Lowell|Lowell, James Russell]] ~ [[Lucretius]] ~ [[Karl Marlantes]] ~ [[John Marshall|Marshall, John]] ~ [[George Mason|Mason, George]] ~ [[Robert McCammon|McCammon, Robert]] ~ [[Colum McCann|McCann, Colum]] ~ [[Tom McCarthy (writer)|McCarthy, Tom]] ~ [[William McKinley|McKinley, William]] ~ [[Menander]] ~ [[George Meredith|Meredith, George]] ~ [[James Monroe|Monroe, James]] ~ [[Thomas Moore|Moore, Thomas]] ~ [[John Morley, 1st Viscount Morley of Blackburn|Morley, John]] ~ [[George Nicholas|Nicholas, George]] ~ [[Joyce Carol Oates|Oates, Joyce Carol]] ~ [[William Osler|Osler, William]] ~ [[James Otis|Otis, James]] ~ [[Theodore Parker|Parker, Theodore]] ~ [[Francis Parkman|Parkman, Francis]] ~ [[Stel Pavlou|Pavlou, Stel]] ~ [[Ivan Pavlov|Pavlov, Ivan]] ~ [[Petrarch]] ~ [[Phaedrus]] ~ [[Wendell Phillips|Phillips, Wendell]] ~ [[Franklin Pierce|Pierce, Franklin]] ~ [[William Pitt, 1st Earl of Chatham|Pitt, William]] ~ [[Pliny the Elder]] ~ [[Pliny the Younger]] ~ [[James K. Polk|Polk, James K.]] ~ [[Matthew Prior|Prior, Matthew]] ~ [[Ptahhotep]] ~ [[Ptolemy]] ~ [[Jean Racine|Racine, Jean]] ~ [[Lisa Randall|Randall, Lisa]] ~ [[Ernest Renan|Renan, Ernest]] ~ [[Romain Rolland|Rolland, Romain]] ~ [[Christina Rossetti|Rossetti, Christina]] ~ [[Dante Gabriel Rossetti|Rossetti, Dante Gabriel]] ~ [[Richard Russo|Russo, Richard]] ~ [[Saadi]] ~ [[Andrei Sakharov|Sakharov, Andrei]] ~ [[George Savile, 1st Marquess of Halifax|Savile, George]] ~ [[John Searle|Searle, John]] ~ [[John Selden|Selden, John]] ~ [[Sextus Propertius]] ~ [[Yoshida Shoin|Shoin, Yoshida]] ~ [[Gene Simmons|Simmons, Gene]] ~ [[Michael Marshall Smith|Smith, Michael Marshall]] ~ [[Robert Southey|Southey, Robert]] ~ [[Arlen Specter|Specter, Arlen]] ~ [[Mickey Spillane|Spillane, Mickey]] ~ [[St. Jerome]] ~ [[Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke|St. John, Henry, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke]] ~  [[Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield|Stanhope, Philip]] ~ [[Richard Steele|Steele, Richard]] ~ [[James Kenneth Stephen|Stephen, James Kenneth]] ~ [[Laurence Sterne|Sterne, Laurence]] ~ [[Arthur Symons|Symons, Arthur]] ~ [[John Millington Synge]] ~ [[Zachary Taylor|Taylor, Zachary]] ~ [[Theognis of Megara]] ~ [[Paul Theroux|Theroux, Paul]] ~ [[James Thomson|Thomson, James]] ~ [[Francis Thompson|Thompson, Francis]] ~ [[Steve Toltz|Toltz, Steve]] ~ [[Benjamin Tucker|Tucker, Benjamin]] ~ [[Martin Farquhar Tupper|Tupper, Martin Farquhar]] ~ [[Desmond Tutu|Tutu, Desmond]] ~ [[John Tyler|Tyler, John]] ~ [[John Tyndall|Tyndall, John]] ~ [[Martin Van Buren|Van Buren, Martin]] ~ [[Henry Vaughan|Vaughan, Henry]] ~ [[Fred M. Vinson|Vinson, Fred M.]] ~ [[Morrison Waite|Waite, Morrison]] ~ [[Edmund Waller|Waller, Edmund]] ~ [[Charles Dudley Warner|Warner, Charles Dudley]] ~ [[John Webster|Webster, John]] ~ [[Edith Wharton|Wharton, Edith]] ~ [[William Whewell|Whewell, William]] ~ [[William Julius Wilson|Wilson, William Julius]] ~ [[Henry Wotton|Wotton, Henry]] ~ [[Herman Wouk|Wouk, Herman]] ~ [[Adam Zagajewski|Zagajewski, Adam]]
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Literary works'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:''[[Canto General]]'' ~ ''[[The Mysteries of Pittsburgh|Mysteries of Pittsburgh, The]]''
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Musicians/Bands'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[AC/DC]] ~ [[The Allman Brothers Band|Allman Brothers Band, The]] ~ [[America (band)|America]] ~ [[Arrested Development (group)|Arrested Development]] ~ [[Bad Company]] ~ [[The Beach Boys|Beach Boys, The]] ~ [[The Black Crowes|Black Crowes, The]] ~ [[The Black Keys|Black Keys, The]] ~ [[Blink-182]] ~ [[Boston (band)|Boston]] ~ [[The Cars|Cars, The]] ~ [[Chicago (band)]] ~ [[Counting Crows]] ~ [[The Cranberries|Cranberries, The]] ~ [[Creedence Clearwater Revival]] ~ [[Crosby, Stills &amp; Nash]] ~ [[The Cure|Cure, The]] ~ [[Iris DeMent|DeMent, Iris]] ~ [[Duran Duran]] ~ [[Eve 6]] ~ [[Aretha Franklin|Franklin, Aretha]] ~ [[Eagles (band)|Eagles, The]] ~ [[Echo &amp; the Bunnymen]] ~ [[Florence and the Machine]] ~ [[Dan Fogelberg|Fogelberg, Dan]] ~ [[Foo Fighters]] ~ [[Foreigner (band)|Foreigner]] ~ [[Frankie Goes to Hollywood]] ~ [[Greta Van Fleet]] ~ [[Hall &amp; Oates]] ~ [[Hoobastank]] ~ [[Imagine Dragons]] ~ [[Jack Johnson]] ~ [[Journey (band)|Journey]] ~ [[Kansas (band)|Kansas]] ~ [[The Kinks|Kinks, The]] ~ [[Led Zeppelin]] ~ [[Lynyrd Skynyrd]] ~ [[Maroon 5]] ~ [[Midnight Oil]] ~ [[New Order]] ~ [[Nirvana (band)]] ~ [[Roy Orbison|Orbison, Roy]] ~ [[Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark]] ~ [[Brad Paisley|Paisley, Brad]] ~ [[Pink Floyd]] ~ [[The Pretenders|Pretenders, The]] ~ [[Public Enemy (band)|Public Enemy]] ~ [[Queen (band)|Queen]] ~ [[Gerry Rafferty|Rafferty, Gerry]] ~ [[The Replacements (band)|Replacements, The]] ~ [[The Rolling Stones|Rolling Stones, The]] ~ [[Bob Seger|Seger, Bob]] ~ [[Sly and the Family Stone]] ~ [[The Smiths|Smiths, The]] ~ [[Squeeze (band)|Squeeze]] ~ [[Styx (band)|Styx]] ~ [[Survivor (band)|Survivor]] ~ [[James Taylor|Taylor, James]] ~ [[Tears for Fears]] ~ [[Traffic (band)|Traffic]] ~ [[Yazoo (band)|Yazoo]] ~ [[Yes (band)|Yes]] ~ [[The Zombies|Zombies, The]]
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Theme pages'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Apocalypse]] ~ [[Credit]] ~ [[Innocence]] ~ [[Las Vegas]] ~ [[Logistics]] ~ [[Magna Carta]] ~ [[Minority]] ~ [[Publicity]] ~ [[Rebellion]] ~ [[Self-deception]] ~ [[Treason]] ~ [[United States Constitution]] ~ [[Weakness]] ~ [[Welfare]] ~ [[Wilderness]]
&lt;/div&gt;

=== I unstubbed/significantly expanded ===
* '''Films'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:''[[28 Weeks Later]]'' ~ ''[[42nd Street (film)|42nd Street]]'' ~ ''[[50 First Dates]]'' ~ ''[[After the Thin Man]]'' ~ ''[[Air Force One]]'' ~ ''[[Alien (film)|Alien]]'' ~ ''[[Along Came a Spider (film)]]'' ~ ''[[An American Werewolf in London]]'' ~ ''[[Animal Farm (1999 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Apocalypse Now]]'' ~ ''[[The Asphalt Jungle]]'' ~ ''[[The Bad News Bears|Bad News Bears, The]]'' ~ ''[[Behind Enemy Lines (2001 film)|Behind Enemy Lines]]'' ~ ''[[Beverly Hills Cop II]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Heat|Big Heat, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Sleep (1946 film)|Big Sleep, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Store|Big Store, The]]'' ~ ''[[Black Snake Moan (film)|Black Snake Moan]]'' ~ ''[[Born on the Fourth of July]]'' ~ ''[[Braveheart]]'' ~ ''[[Brazil (film)|Brazil]]'' ~ ''[[The Breakfast Club|Breakfast Club, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bride of Frankenstein]]'' ~ ''[[The Bridge on the River Kwai|Bridge on the River Kwai, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bridesmaids (2011 film)|Bridesmaids]]'' ~ ''[[A Bridge Too Far (film)|Bridge Too Far, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Bronx Tale|Bronx Tale, A]]'' ~ ''[[Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid]]'' ~ ''[[Carnival of Souls]]'' ~ ''[[Casablanca]]'' ~ ''[[Catch-22 (film)|Catch-22]]'' ~ ''[[The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe|Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The]]'' ~ ''[[A Clockwork Orange (film)|A Clockwork Orange]]'' ~ ''[[Coma (1978 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Confessions of a Dangerous Mind]]'' ~ ''[[The Core|Core, The]]'' ~ ''[[Crash]]'' ~ ''[[Dead of Night]]'' ~ ''[[D.O.A. (1950 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Day After Tomorrow|Day After Tomorrow, The]]'' ~ ''[[Deadly Friend]]'' ~ ''[[The Devil and Daniel Webster (film)|Devil and Daniel Webster, The]]'' ~ ''[[Dr. No (film)|Dr. No]]'' ~ ''[[Double Indemnity]]'' ~ ''[[Dracula: Dead and Loving It]]'' ~ ''[[Earth Girls Are Easy]]'' ~ ''[[Empire Records]]'' ~ ''[[Erin Brockovich]]'' ~ ''[[The Exorcism of Emily Rose|Exorcism of Emily Rose, The]]'' ~ ''[[Eyes Wide Shut]]'' ~ ''[[The Family Man|Family Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Fletch]]'' ~ ''[[For a Few Dollars More]]'' ~ ''[[Forbidden Planet]]'' ~ ''[[The Forgotten]]'' ~ ''[[Fracture (2007 film)|Fracture]]'' ~ ''[[Frankenstein (1931 film)|Frankenstein]]'' ~ ''[[Fright Night]]'' ~ ''[[The Full Monty]]'' ~ ''[[The Gay Divorcee|Gay Divorcee, The]]'' ~ ''[[Get Carter]]'' ~ ''[[Gilda]]'' ~ ''[[Glengarry Glen Ross (film)|Glengarry Glen Ross]]'' ~ ''[[Go West (1940 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Godfather: Part III|Godfather, The: Part III]]'' ~ ''[[Going My Way]]'' ~ ''[[Goldfinger (film)|Goldfinger]]'' ~ ''[[Gone with the Wind]]'' ~ ''[[Good Will Hunting]]'' ~ ''[[Goodfellas]]'' ~ ''[[Gosford Park]]'' ~ ''[[The Great Debaters|Great Debaters, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Great Escape (film)|Great Escape, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Guns of Navarone|Guns of Navarone, The]]'' ~ ''[[Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers]]'' ~ ''[[Harvey]]'' ~ ''[[He's Just Not That Into You]]'' ~ ''[[Heathers]]'' ~ ''[[Hell or High Water (film)|Hell or High Water]]'' ~ ''[[Honeymoon in Vegas]]'' ~ ''[[House of Sand and Fog (film)‎|House of Sand and Fog]]'' ~ ''[[How to Marry a Millionaire]]'' ~ ''[[The Hunt for Red October (film)|Hunt for Red October, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Hurt Locker|Hurt Locker, The]]'' ~ ''[[I'm No Angel]]'' ~ ''[[Ice Station Zebra]]'' ~ ''[[The Ice Storm|Ice Storm, The]]'' ~ ''[[In the Heat of the Night (film)|In the Heat of the Night]]'' ~ ''[[In Time]]'' ~ ''[[It's a Gift]]'' ~ ''[[It's a Wonderful Life]]'' ~ ''[[Jackie Brown]]'' ~ ''[[Jaws (film)|Jaws]]'' ~ ''[[Jaws 2]]'' ~ ''[[Jerry Maguire]]'' ~ ''[[Joan of Arc (1948 film)]]'' ~ ''[[John Q]]'' ~ ''[[John Tucker Must Die]]'' ~ ''[[Johnny English]]'' ~ ''[[Kansas City Confidential]]'' ~ ''[[The Killers (1946 film)|Killers, The (1946 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Killing Fields|Killing Fields, The]]'' ~ ''[[Kingdom of Heaven]]'' ~ ''[[Kingpin (1996 film)|Kingpin]]'' ~ ''[[La Bamba (film)|La Bamba]]'' ~ ''[[Lake Placid (film)|Lake Placid]]'' ~ ''[[Laura (1944 film)|Laura]]'' ~ ''[[Les Misérables (1998 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Les Misérables (2012 film)‎]]'' ~ ''[[The Longest Yard (1974 film)|Longest Yard, The (1974 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Love Actually]]'' ~ ''[[Love Happy]]'' ~ ''[[Marathon Man]]'' ~ ''[[Matinee (1993 film)|Matinee]]'' ~ ''[[Meet Joe Black]]'' ~ ''[[Mission: Impossible]]'' ~ ''[[Mr. Deeds Goes to Town‎]]'' ~ ''[[Mortal Kombat (film)|Mortal Kombat]]'' ~ ''[[My Night at Maud's]]'' ~ ''[[National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation]]'' ~ ''[[National Lampoon's Vacation]]'' ~ ''[[Network]]'' ~ ''[[Niagara (1953 film)|Niagara]]'' ~ ''[[A Night at the Opera|Night at the Opera, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Night at the Roxbury|Night at the Roxbury, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Night in Casablanca|Night in Casablanca, A]]'' ~ ''[[The Night of the Hunter (film)|The Night of the Hunter]]'' ~ ''[[Nobody's Fool (1994 film)‎|Nobody's Fool]]'' ~ ''[[Old School]]'' ~ ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service (film)|On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]'' ~ ''[[The People vs. Larry Flynt|People vs. Larry Flynt, The]]'' ~ ''[[Philadelphia (film)‎|Philadelphia]]'' ~ ''[[The Philadelphia Story|Philadelphia Story, The]]'' ~ ''[[Pi]]'' ~ ''[[Plan 9 from Outer Space]]'' ~ ''[[Pleasantville]]'' ~ ''[[The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946 film)|Postman Always Rings Twice, The (1946 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Psycho (1960 film)|Psycho]]'' ~ ''[[Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown]]'' ~ ''[[Radio Flyer (film)|Radio Flyer]]'' ~ ''[[Raising Helen]]'' ~ ''[[Real Genius]]'' ~ ''[[Rear Window]]'' ~ ''[[Remember the Titans]]'' ~ ''[[Revenge of the Pink Panther]]'' ~ ''[[RoboCop 2]]'' ~ ''[[Rocky]]'' ~ ''[[Room Service (1938 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Rushmore]]'' ~ ''[[Saving Private Ryan]]'' ~ ''[[Saw (film)|Saw]]'' ~ ''[[The Secret of My Success (1987 film)|Secret of My Success, The]]'' ~ ''[[A Serious Man]]'' ~ ''[[She Done Him Wrong]]'' ~ ''[[Sixteen Candles]]'' ~ ''[[Sling Blade]]'' ~ ''[[Soapdish]]'' ~ ''[[The Social Network|Social Network, The]]'' ~ ''[[Soylent Green]]'' ~ ''[[The Spiderwick Chronicles (film)|Spiderwick Chronicles, The]]'' ~ ''[[Stand by Me]]'' ~ ''[[State Fair (1945 film)|State Fair]]'' ~ ''[[Stranger Than Paradise]]'' ~ ''[[Sudden Impact]]'' ~ ''[[Swingers]]'' ~ ''[[Taxi Driver]]'' ~ ''[[The Ten Commandments|Ten Commandments, The]]'' ~ ''[[Terminator 2: Judgment Day]]'' ~ ''[[There's Something About Mary‎]]'' ~ ''[[They Shoot Horses, Don't They?]]'' ~ ''[[The Third Man|Third Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Thunderball (film)|Thunderball]]'' ~ ''[[To Have and Have Not (film)|To Have and Have Not]]'' ~ ''[[Top Secret!]]'' ~ ''[[Touch of Evil]]'' ~ ''[[The Treasure of the Sierra Madre|Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The]]'' ~ ''[[Twelve Monkeys]]'' ~ ''[[Vicky Cristina Barcelona]]'' ~ ''[[The Village|Village, The]]'' ~ ''[[Vision Quest]]'' ~ ''[[West Side Story]]'' ~ ''[[White Heat]]'' ~ ''[[Willy Wonka &amp; the Chocolate Factory]]'' ~ ''[[Wings of Desire]]'' ~ ''[[Witness for the Prosecution]]'' ~ ''[[The Wizard of Oz|Wizard of Oz, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Wolf Man (1941 film)|Wolf Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[The World's Fastest Indian|World's Fastest Indian, The]]'' ~ ''[[You Can't Take It with You (film)|You Can't Take It with You]]'' ~ ''[[You Only Live Twice (film)|You Only Live Twice]]'' ~ ''[[Young Sherlock Holmes]]'' ~ ''[[Zoolander]]''
&lt;/div&gt;            

* '''TV Shows'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:''[[The Addams Family (TV series)|Addams Family, The]]'' ~ ''[[Alias]]'' ~ ''[[Army Wives]]'' ~ ''[[Arrested Development]]'' ~ ''[[The Black Donnellys|Black Donnellys, The]]'' ~ ''[[Black Mirror]]'' ~ ''[[Cheers]]'' ~ ''[[Cougar Town]]'' ~ ''[[CSI: Crime Scene Investigation]]'' ~ ''[[Da Vinci's Demons‎]]'' ~ ''[[Damages (TV series)|Damages]]'' ~  ''[[Dawson's Creek]]'' ~ ''[[Doogie Howser, M.D.]]'' ~ ''[[Drawn Together]]'' ~ ''[[The Drew Carey Show|Drew Carey Show, The]]'' ~ ''[[Everwood]]'' ~ ''[[Freaks and Geeks]]'' ~ ''[[Friday Night Lights (TV series)‎]]'' ~ ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'' ~ ''[[Greg the Bunny]]'' ~ ''[[Grey's Anatomy]]'' ~ ''[[Hawaii Five-O]]'' ~ ''[[Heroes]]'' ~ ''[[Ice Road Truckers]]'' ~ ''[[Judging Amy]]'' ~ ''[[The L Word|L Word, The]]'' ~ ''[[Law &amp; Order]]'' ~ ''[[Mad Men]]'' ~ ''[[Magnum, P.I.]]'' ~ ''[[The Mary Tyler Moore Show|Mary Tyler Moore Show, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Middle (TV series)|Middle, The]]'' ~ ''[[The New Adventures of Old Christine|New Adventures of Old Christine, The]]'' ~ ''[[Nip/Tuck]]'' ~ ''[[The Oblongs|Oblongs, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Outer Limits (1963 TV series)|Outer Limits, The (1963)]]'' ~ ''[[Point Pleasant]]'' ~ ''[[Popular (TV series)|Popular]]'' ~ ''[[The Practice]]'' ~ ''[[Queer Eye]]'' ~ ''[[Rectify]]'' ~ ''[[The Rockford Files]]'' ~ ''[[The Sarah Silverman Program|Sarah Silverman Program, The]]'' ~ ''[[Tru Calling]]'' ~ ''[[The Tudors|Tudors, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Twilight Zone (1959 TV series)]]'' ~ ''[[Twin Peaks]]'' ~ ''[[Welcome Back, Kotter]]'' ~ ''[[WKRP in Cincinnati]]'' ~ ''[[The Wonder Years|Wonder Years, The]]''
&lt;/div&gt; (TV series)|Addams Family, The]]'' ~ 

* '''People'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Dan Ariely|Ariely, Dan]] ~ [[William Blake|Blake, William]] ~ [[John Cheever|Cheever, John]] ~ [[William Cullen Bryant|Bryant, William Cullen]] ~ [[Samuel Butler (novelist)|Butler, Samuel]] ~ [[Lord Byron|Byron, Lord]] ~ [[Arthur Chapman|Chapman, Arthur]] ~ [[Anton Chekhov|Chekhov, Anton]] ~ [[William Cobbett|Cobbett, William]] ~ [[Rufus Choate|Choate, Rufus]] ~ [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge|Coleridge, Samuel Taylor]] ~ [[Norman Cousins|Cousins, Norman]] ~ [[Honoré de Balzac|de Balzac, Honoré]] ~ [[Guy Debord|Debord, Guy]] ~ [[Charles Dickens|Dickens, Charles]] ~ [[James Dickey|Dickey, James]] ~ [[Ralph Waldo Emerson|Emerson, Ralph Waldo]] ~ [[Ludwig Andreas Feuerbach|Feuerbach, Ludwig Andreas]] ~ [[Edgar Guest|Guest, Edgar]] ~ [[Stonewall Jackson|Jackson, Stonewall]] ~ [[Daniel Kahneman‎|Kahneman, Daniel]] ~ [[John Keats|Keats, John]] ~ [[Rudyard Kipling|Kipling, Rudyard]] ~ [[Walter Savage Landor|Landor, Walter Savage]] ~ [[Paul Lansky|Lansky, Paul]] ~ [[Edward Lear|Lear, Edward]] ~ [[Livy]] ~ [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow|Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth]] ~ [[Barack Obama|Obama, Barack]] ~ [[Prince (musician)|Prince]] ~ [[Protagoras]] ~ [[AnnaSophia Robb|Robb, AnnaSophia]] ~ [[Philip Roth|Roth, Philip]] ~ [[Bertrand Russell|Russell, Bertrand]] ~ [[Walter Scott]] ~ [[Percy Bysshe Shelley|Shelley, Percy Bysshe]] ~ [[Richard Brinsley Sheridan|Sheridan, Richard Brinsley]] ~ [[Stendhal]] ~ [[Bruce Sterling|Sterling, Bruce]] ~ [[Joseph E. Stiglitz|Stiglitz, Joseph E.]] ~ [[Alfred Tennyson|Tennyson, Alfred]] ~ [[Mark Twain|Twain, Mark]] ~ [[Neil deGrasse Tyson|Tyson, Neil deGrasse]] ~ [[Jack Welch|Welch, Jack]] ~ [[William Wordsworth|Wordsworth, William]]
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Musicians/Bands'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Adele (singer)]] ~ [[Aerosmith]] ~ [[Iggy Azalea|Azalea, Iggy]] ~ [[The Beatles|Beatles, The]] ~ [[James Blunt|Blunt, James]] ~ [[Garth Brooks|Brooks, Garth]] ~ [[Jimmy Buffett|Buffett, Jimmy]] ~ [[Sam Cooke|Cooke, Sam]] ~ [[Depeche Mode]] ~ [[Neil Diamond|Diamond, Neil]] ~ [[Dido]] ~ [[Five for Fighting]] ~ [[Fleetwood Mac]] ~ [[Marvin Gaye|Gaye, Marvin]] ~ [[Benjamin Hoff|Hoff, Benjamin]] ~ [[Buddy Holly|Holly, Buddy]] ~ [[Billy Joel|Joel, Billy]] ~ [[Waylon Jennings|Jennings, Waylon]] ~ [[Elton John|John, Elton]] ~ [[Toby Keith|Keith, Toby]] ~ [[Kid Rock]] ~ [[The Killers (band)|Killers, The]] ~ [[Carole King|King, Carole]] ~ [[Mark Knopfler|Knopfler, Mark]] ~ [[The Lonely Island|Lonely Island, The]] ~ [[Curtis Mayfield|Mayfield, Curtis]] ~ [[Sarah McLachlan|McLachlan, Sarah]] ~ [[Van Morrison|Morrison, Van]] ~ [[Mötley Crüe]] ~ [[Muse (band)|Muse]] ~ [[OneRepublic]] ~ [[Tom Petty|Petty, Tom]] ~ [[Pink (singer)|Pink]] ~ [[The Police|Police, The]] ~ [[Otis Redding|Redding, Otis]] ~ [[Bruce Springsteen|Springsteen, Bruce]] ~ [[Steely Dan]] ~ [[Taylor Swift|Swift, Taylor]] ~ [[Talking Heads]] ~ [[Rufus Wainwright|Wainwright, Rufus]] ~ [[Lucinda Williams|Williams, Lucinda]] ~ [[U2]] ~ [[Neil Young|Young, Neil]]
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Literary works'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:''[[Eragon]]'' ~ ''[[The Everlasting Man|Everlasting Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Macbeth]]'' ~ ''[[King Lear]]'' ~ ''[[Richard III (play)]]'' ~ ''[[Romeo and Juliet]]''
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Themes'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Anticipation]] ~ [[Censure]] ~ [[Conviction]] ~ [[Cunning]] ~ [[Debt]] ~ [[Discourse]] ~ [[Effort]] ~ [[Envy]] ~ [[Experience]] ~ [[Exploration]] ~ [[Failure]] ~ [[Fame]] ~ [[Family]] ~ [[Foreign aid]] ~ [[Health]] ~ [[Honor]] ~ [[Human rights]] ~ [[Ideas]] ~ [[Inhumanity]] ~ [[Majority]] ~ [[Malice]] ~ [[Melancholy]] ~ [[New Deal]] ~ [[Opinion]] ~ [[Passion]] ~ [[Persecution]] ~ [[Physiognomy]] ~ [[Prudence]] ~ [[Respect]] ~ [[Rhetoric]] ~ [[Security]] ~ [[Self-esteem]] ~ [[Self-pity]]
&lt;/div&gt;

=== I rescued from deletion ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Aleksis Kivi]] ~ [[Bergen Evans]] ~ ''[[Constantine]]'' ~ ''[[Gotti]]'' ~ ''[[Hung (TV series)|Hung]]'' ~ ''[[Million Dollar Baby]]'' ~ ''[[Night Court]]'' ~ ''[[The Searchers]]''
&lt;/div&gt;</text>
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      <text bytes="71908" xml:space="preserve">{{userpage|UDScott}}


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{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2005|month=07|day=20}}&lt;/br&gt;
{{User Wikiquote admin}}&lt;/br&gt;
{{User Wikiquote bureaucrat}}&lt;/br&gt;
{{user en-N}}&lt;/br&gt;
{{User stomp footnotes}}&lt;/br&gt;
{{Hotcat}}&lt;/br&gt;
{{user contrib|123000}}
&lt;/div&gt;

== About me ==
After cultivating an extreme movie-quote hobby, I stumbled upon this site after perusing one of its sister projects, Wikipedia. Since then, I have become quite hooked on the idea of ensuring that my favorite (or even not-so-favorite) films would have their best lines captured for posterity. I am now an administrator and bureaucrat here on Wikiquote.  

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I'm a transplanted New Jersey-ian (or is it New Jersey-ite?) who has a ravenous hunger for movies and books (I rarely go through a day without one or the other). My tastes are quite diverse and range from absolute classics to thrillers to horror to comedy (both obvious and more sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek). I also particularly like [[:Category:Films noir|Films noir]] and [[:Category:Neo-noir|Neo-noir films]]. If pressed, I would list my favorite films as ''[[Three Days of the Condor]]'', ''[[Mr. Smith Goes to Washington]]'', ''[[Casablanca]]'', ''[[Chinatown]]'', ''[[Pulp Fiction]]'', ''[[La La Land (film)|La La Land]]'', ''[[Blood Simple]]'' (and frankly I'd watch anything by [[:Category:Films directed by the Coen brothers|the Coen brothers]]), ''[[The Godfather]]'', ''[[Hoosiers]]'', ''[[Donnie Darko]]'', ''[[It's a Wonderful Life]]'', ''[[Goodfellas]]'', ''[[The Seven Samurai]]'', ''[[The Man in the Moon]]'', ''[[The Third Man]]'', ''[[Monty Python and the Holy Grail]]'', ''[[Nobody's Fool (1994 film)|Nobody's Fool]]'', ''[[Absence of Malice]]'', anything by [[w:Alfred Hitchcock|Alfred Hitchcock]] (especially ''[[Shadow of a Doubt]]'', ''[[Rear Window]]'', ''[[North by Northwest]]'' and ''[[Rope (film)|Rope]]''), and maybe ''[[Halloween (1978 film)|Halloween]]'' (There. How's that for diverse?). As for TV, as with many WQ people, I am a devout ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer|Buffy]]'' fan. I would also include among my favorites ''[[Midnight Mass (miniseries)|Midnight Mass]]'', ''[[The Handmaid's Tale (TV series)|The Handmaid's Tale]]'', ''[[The Leftovers (TV series)|The Leftovers]]'', ''[[Stranger Things (TV series)|Stranger Things]]'', ''[[Shameless (U.S. TV series)|Shameless]]'', ''[[Homeland (TV series)‎|Homeland]]'', ''[[Alias (TV series)|Alias]]'', ''[[Lost (TV series)|Lost]]'', ''[[Friday Night Lights (TV series)|Friday Night Lights]]'', ''[[Veronica Mars]]'', ''[[Gilmore Girls]]'', ''[[Cheers (TV series)|Cheers]]'', ''[[Homicide: Life on the Street]]'', ''[[My So-Called Life]]'', ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'', ''[[The West Wing]]'', ''[[The Wire]]'', ''[[The Shield]]'', ''[[True Blood (TV series)|True Blood]]'', ''[[Breaking Bad]]'', ''[[Chuck (TV series)|Chuck]]'', ''[[Mad Men]]'', ''[[Damages (TV series)|Damages]]'', ''[[Fringe]]'', ''[[Rescue Me]]'', ''[[The Wonder Years]]'', ''[[Justified (TV series)|Justified]]'', ''[[Sons of Anarchy]]'', and ''[[The Twilight Zone]]''. My favorite authors would include [[Stephen King]], [[Charles Dickens]], [[Rainer Maria Rilke]], [[Ray Bradbury]], [[T. S. Eliot]], [[Neil Gaiman]] (love, love, love ''[[American Gods]]''), [[George Orwell]], [[George Bernard Shaw]], [[G. K. Chesterton]], and [[Lee Child]]. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
And: I am HUGE fan of [[Dinosaur Comics]]! It ROCKS! 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
While my interests in Wikiquote primarily focus on films and a few of my favorite TV shows, you never know where I'll pop up. I especially like to rescue pages marked for deletion (if rescue is warranted) and to expand pages that are languishing.

== Useful stuff ==
* [[Help:Starting a new page]]
* [[Help:Editing]]
* [[User:Ningauble/Useful/VFD tips]]
* [[Wikiquote:Template messages/User talk]]
* [[Wikiquote:Shortcuts]]
* [[Special:Specialpages|Special pages]]
* [[Special:LintErrors|Lint]]
*&lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{cite news|first= |last= |author= |url= |title= |work= |publisher= |pages= |page= |date= |accessdate= }}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;
*&lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{cite book
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*&lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{cite web|url= |title= |accessdate= |accessmonthday= |accessyear= |author= |last= |first= |authorlink= |coauthors= |date= |year= |month= |format= |work= |publisher= |pages= |language= |archiveurl= |archivedate=}}
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* &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{quotation limit|type=tv|length= }}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;
* &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{quotation limit|type=film|length= }}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;
* To split into two columns: &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{col-begin}}{{col-2}}{{col-2}}{{col-end}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;
* [[m:Promoting users|Promoting users]] (for Bots, Admins, etc.)

== Favorite quotes ==
* I hear you say 'Why?' Always 'Why?' You see things; and you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?'
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], ''Back to Methuselah'', Pt. I, Act I (1921)

* The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], ''Revolutionist's Handbook''

* A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Thoughts on Various Subjects'' (1727)

* There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''[[Heretics (book)|Heretics]]'', Chapter III: &quot;On Mr. Rudyard Kipling and Making the World Small&quot; (1905)

* The changing wisdom of successive generations discards ideas, questions facts, demolishes theories. But the artist appeals to that part of our being which is not dependent on wisdom: to that in us which is a gift and not an acquisition — and, therefore, more permanently enduring. He speaks to our capacity for delight and wonder, to the sense of mystery surrounding our lives; to our sense of pity, and beauty, and pain; to the latent feeling of fellowship with all creation — and to the subtle but invincible, conviction of solidarity that knits together the loneliness of innumerable hearts: to the solidarity in dreams, in joy, in sorrow, in aspirations, in illusions, in hope, in fear, which binds men to each other, which binds together all humanity — the dead to the living and the living to the unborn.
** [[Joseph Conrad]], ''[[The Nigger of the &quot;Narcissus&quot;]]'', Preface (1897)

* A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''[[The Everlasting Man]]'', Part II: On the Man Called Christ, Ch. 6: The Five Deaths of the Faith (1925)

* All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.
** [[Albert Einstein]], &quot;Moral Decay&quot; (1937); Later published in Out of My Later Years (1950)

* Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.
** [[Albert Einstein]], Letter to Morris Raphael Cohen, professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of [[Bertrand Russell]] to a teaching position (19 March 1940)

* The important thing is not to stop questioning; curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when contemplating the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of the mystery every day. The important thing is not to stop questioning; never lose a holy curiosity.
** [[Albert Einstein]], Statement to William Miller, as quoted in LIFE magazine (2 May 1955)

* The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed.
** [[Albert Einstein]], ''Mein Weltbild (My World-view)'' (1931)

* Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Self Reliance'', from ''[[s:Essays: First Series|Essays: First Series]]'' (1841)

* This I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual.
** [[John Steinbeck]], ''[[w:East of Eden|East of Eden]]'', Part 1, Ch. 13

* Humankind has become so much one family that we cannot ensure our own prosperity except by ensuring that of everyone else. If you wish to be happy yourself, you must resign yourself to seeing others also happy.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], &quot;The Science to Save Us from Science,&quot; ''The New York Times Magazine'' (March 19, 1950)

* Do I dare&lt;br&gt;Disturb the universe?&lt;br&gt;In a minute there is time&lt;br&gt;For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
** [[T.S. Eliot]], ''[[w:The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock|The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock]]'' (1915)

* This is the way the world ends&lt;br&gt;Not with a bang but a whimper.
** [[T.S. Eliot]], ''[[w:The Hollow Men|The Hollow Men]]'' (1925)

* His tired gaze - from passing endless bars - &lt;br&gt; has turned into a vacant stare which nothing holds. &lt;br&gt; To him there seem to be a thousand bars, &lt;br&gt; and out beyond these bars exists no world. &lt;p&gt; His supple gait, the smoothness of strong strides &lt;br&gt; that gently turn in ever smaller circles &lt;br&gt; perform a dance of strength, centered deep within &lt;br&gt; a will, stunned, but untamed, indomitable. &lt;p&gt; But sometimes the curtains of his eyelids part, &lt;br&gt; the pupils of his eyes dilate as images &lt;br&gt; of past encounters enter while through his limbs &lt;br&gt; a tension strains in silence &lt;br&gt; only to cease to be, to die within his heart.
** [[Rainer Maria Rilke]], ''The Panther'' (1907), translated by Albert Ernest Flemming
 
* Before I built a wall I’d ask to know&lt;br&gt;What I was walling in or walling out, &lt;br&gt;And to whom I was like to give offence.&lt;br&gt;Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,&lt;br&gt;That wants it down.
** [[Robert Frost]], ''Mending Wall'' (1915)

* Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—&lt;br&gt;I took the one less traveled by,&lt;br&gt;And that has made all the difference.
** [[Robert Frost]], ''The Road Not Taken'' (1916)

* I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! 
** [[Patrick Henry]], ''Speech in Virginia Convention'', Richmond (March 23, 1775)

* Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.
** [[Stephen King]], ''Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption'', from ''Different Seasons'' (1982)

* I met a traveller from an antique land&lt;br&gt;Who said:&amp;mdash;Two vast and trunkless legs of stone&lt;br&gt;Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,&lt;br&gt;Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown&lt;br&gt;And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command&lt;br&gt;Tell that its sculptor well those passions read&lt;br&gt;Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,&lt;br&gt;The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.&lt;br&gt;And on the pedestal these words appear:&lt;br&gt;&quot;My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:&lt;br&gt;Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!&quot;&lt;br&gt;Nothing beside remains: round the decay&lt;br&gt;Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,&lt;br&gt;The lone and level sands stretch far away.
** [[Percy Bysshe Shelley]], ''Ozymandius'' (1818)

* Truth, after all, wears a different face to everybody, and it would be too tedious to wait till all were agreed. She is said to lie at the bottom of a well, for the very reason, perhaps, that whoever looks down in search of her sees his own image at the bottom, and is persuaded not only that he has seen the goddess, but that she is far better looking than he had imagined. 
** [[James Russell Lowell]], ''On Democracy'' (October 6, 1884)

* Life and death, union and separation, follow hard upon one another. Nothing is steadfast but the will, nothing endures but one’s achieve­ments. These alone count in life. 
** [[Yoshida Shoin]], ''Yoshida Shoin Zenshu'', Vol. II

* No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it for anyone else.
** [[Charles Dickens]], ''Our Mutual Friend'' (1864-1865)

* He is truly a man who will not permit himself to be unduly elated when fortune’s breeze is favorable, or cast down when it is adverse.
** [[Livy|Titus Livius]] (Livy), ''Histories'', Book XLV, sec. 8

* A person is a person because he recognizes others as persons.
** [[Desmond Tutu]], Address at his enthronement as Anglican archbishop of Cape Town (7 September 1986)

* ''Lo maggior don che Dio per sua larghezza&lt;br&gt;fesse creando, e a la sua bontate&lt;br&gt;più conformato, e quel ch'e' più apprezza,&lt;br&gt;fu de la volontà la libertate;&lt;br&gt;di che le creature intelligenti,&lt;br&gt;e tutte e sole, fuore e son dotate.''
** The greatest gift that God in His bounty made in creation,&lt;br&gt;and the most conformable to His goodness,&lt;br&gt;and that which He prizes the most,&lt;br&gt;was the freedom of will,&lt;br&gt;with which the creatures with intelligence,&lt;br&gt;they all and they alone, were and are endowed.
** [[Dante Alighieri]], ''[[The Divine Comedy]]'', ''Paradiso'', Canto V, lines 19-24

* Do... or do not. There is no try. 
** [[Yoda]], ''[[Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back]]'' (1980)

* Gods die. And when they truly die they are unmourned and unremembered. Ideas are more difficult to kill than people, but they can be killed, in the end.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], ''[[American Gods]]'', ch. 3 (2001)

* There's never been a true war that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous.
** [[Neil Gaiman]], ''[[American Gods]]'', ch. 9 (2001)

* Creativity is seeing what everyone else sees, but then thinking a new thought that has never been thought before and expressing it somehow.
** [[Neil deGrasse Tyson]], {{cite web|url=http://www.convergemag.com/stem/Global-Ideas-from-Plutos-Challenger.html |title=Global Ideas from Pluto's Challenger |accessdate=December 7, 2010 |author=Marina Leight |date=May 21, 2009}}

== To do ==
=== Additions ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
* Complete adding quotes to ''[[Criminal Minds]]'' - Completed through Season 3
* [[User:BD2412/RQ]]
* Finish adding to and cleaning up ''[[Brothers &amp; Sisters (2006 TV series)]]'' - Completed Season 1
* Finish ''[[St. Elsewhere]]'' - Completed Season 1
* Finish ''[[Hill Street Blues]]'' - Completed Season 1, 2, 3
* Finish ''[[Soap (TV series)|Soap]]
* Add pages for remaining [[Alfred Hitchcock]] films
* Add pages for remaining [[Akira Kurosawa]] films
* Complete cleanup and additions to ''[[The Cosby Show]]'' - completed Season 1, 2
* Complete ''[[CSI: Crime Scene Investigation]]'' seasons
* Complete ''[[The Twilight Zone]]'' seasons
* Complete ''[[Welcome Back, Kotter]]'' seasons - completed through season three
* Add custom TOC to ''[[Magnum, P.I.]]''
* Add Custom TOC to ''[[Cheers (TV series)|Cheers]]''
* Finish [[User:UDScott/Rilke in progress|additions to Rainer Maria Rilke]]
* Work on pages from [[Wikiquote:Academy Award nominated screenplays]] 
* Bring [[Dinosaur Comics]] up to date
* Create separate pages for [[Woody Allen]] films; strip the film quotes from his page
* Work on [[:Category:Move into Wikiquote]]
&lt;/div&gt;

=== Trimming ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
* Trim ''[[CSI: NY]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim ''[[Supernatural (TV series)]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim ''[[NCIS (TV series)]]''
* Trim ''[[CSI: Crime Scene Investigation]]''
* Trim ''[[Angel (TV series)]]''
* Trim ''[[The Golden Girls]]''
* Trim ''[[Charmed (TV series)]]''
* Trim ''[[Bones (TV series)]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim ''[[Malcolm in the Middle‎]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim [[Josiah Gregg]]
* Trim ''[[One Tree Hill]]'' - completed Season 1
* Trim ''[[Dexter (TV series)|Dexter]]'' - completed Seasons 1, 2
&lt;/div&gt;

=== Other ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
* Complete cleanup of [[:Category:Films by director]] - completed through P
* Complete cleanup of ''[[The X-Files]]'' - Completed through Season 1
* Add character &amp; episode links to ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'' - Completed through Season 2
* Fix character links on all season pages of ''[[Gilmore Girls]]''
* Clean up [[:Category:Musicians]]
* Finish proper categorization for: [[:Category:Novelists]], [[:Category:Playwrights]], [[:Category:Short story writers]]
&lt;/div&gt;

=== Completed ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
* &lt;s&gt;Finish trimming &amp; formatting ''[[Malcolm in the Middle]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) (season 5)]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Finish cleaning up [[:Category:Activists]]&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Grey's Anatomy]]'' pages - completed Seasons 1-12&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Homicide: Life on the Street]]'' seasons&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Homicide: Life on the Street]]'', add character wikilinks&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Veronica Mars]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add custom TOC to ''[[Veronica Mars]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Finish trimming ''[[Smallville]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Ed (TV series)|Ed]]'' seasons&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Finish trimming ''[[Alias (TV series)|Alias]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Finish trimming ''[[The West Wing]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Season 7]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[NewsRadio]]'' &lt;/s&gt; ''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Three Days of the Condor]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[It's a Wonderful Life]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Donnie Darko]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Separate out the [[Hellraiser]] films into their own pages, create disambig page for the series (as was done with the [[A Nightmare on Elm Street]] films)&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add page for ''[[Big Love]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[WKRP in Cincinnati]]'' seasons&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim and clean up ''[[Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008 TV series)]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add to [[Lionel Richie]]&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Separate out the [[James Bond]] films into their own pages, create disambig page&lt;/s&gt;. '''Completed'''
** &lt;s&gt;Completed for ''[[Dr. No (film)|Dr. No]]'', ''[[Goldfinger (film)|Goldfinger]]'', ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service (film)|On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]'' ''[[Thunderball (film)|Thunderball]]'', ''[[You Only Live Twice (film)|You Only Live Twice]]'', ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service (film)|On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]'', ''[[Diamonds Are Forever (film)|Diamonds Are Forever]]'', ''[[Live and Let Die (film)|Live and Let Die]]'', ''[[The Man with the Golden Gun (film)|The Man with the Golden Gun]]'', ''[[The Spy Who Loved Me (film)|The Spy Who Loved Me]]'', ''[[Moonraker (film)|Moonraker]]'', ''[[For Your Eyes Only (film)|For Your Eyes Only]]'', ''[[Tomorrow Never Dies]]'', ''[[The World Is Not Enough]]'', and ''[[Octopussy]]''.&lt;/s&gt;
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Cheers (TV series)|Cheers]]''&lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Grey's Anatomy]]'' and fix char links &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add a page for [[Holland-Dozier-Holland]] (Motown songwriters) &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add [[The Beach Boys]] &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add page for [[Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller]], songwriters &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[The Shield]]'' seasons &lt;/s&gt;  '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Magnum, P.I.]]'' seasons &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add page for [[The Allman Brothers Band]] &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Everwood]]'' seasons &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Add pages for remaining [[Martin Scorsese]] films &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Monk (TV series)]]'' &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Create separate pages for each of the ''[[Highlander]]'' films &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Complete ''[[Jericho (TV series)|Jericho]]'' episodes &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
* &lt;s&gt;Trim ''[[Family Feud]]'' and other game show pages. &lt;/s&gt; '''Completed'''
&lt;/div&gt;

== Wikiquote pages ==
=== I created ===
* '''Films'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt; 
:''[[12 Years a Slave (film)|12 Years a Slave]]'' ~ ''[[13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi]]'' ~ ''[[20th Century Women]]'' ~ ''[[The 39 Steps (1935 film)|39 Steps, The (1935 film)]]'' ~ ''[[50/50 (2011 film)|50/50]]'' ~ ''[[127 Hours]]'' ~ ''[[The 400 Blows|400 Blows, The]]'' ~ ''[[The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T|5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, The]]'' ~ ''[[8½]]'' ~ ''[[A Star Is Born (1954 film)|Star is Born, A (1954 film)]]'' ~ ''[[About Last Night...]]'' ~ ''[[Absence of Malice]]'' ~ ''[[Absolute Power (film)|Absolute Power]]'' ~ ''[[The Accidental Tourist (film)|Accidental Tourist, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Accused (1988 film)|Accused, The (1988 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Adam's Rib]]'' ~ ''[[The Adjustment Bureau|Adjustment Bureau, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Adventures of Robin Hood (film)|Adventures of Robin Hood, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (film)|Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The]]'' ~ ''[[The African Queen|African Queen, The]]'' ~ ''[[After Dark, My Sweet]]'' ~ ''[[After Hours (film)|After Hours]]'' ~ ''[[Aguirre, the Wrath of God]]'' ~ ''[[The Alamo (1960 film)|Alamo, The (1960 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Albatross (film)|Albatross]]'' ~ ''[[Albino Alligator]]'' ~ ''[[Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore]]'' ~ ''[[All the King's Men (1949 film)]]'' ~ ''[[All the Right Moves]]'' ~ ''[[Almost Famous]]'' ~ ''[[American Graffiti]]'' ~ ''[[American Me]]'' ~ ''[[American Pie]]'' ~ ''[[American Pie 2]]'' ~ ''[[An American in Paris]]'' ~ ''[[American Sniper (film)|American Sniper]]'' ~ ''[[The Americanization of Emily|Americanization of Emily, The]]'' ~ ''[[Amistad (film)|Amistad]]'' ~ ''[[Amour (2012 film)|Amour]]'' ~ ''[[An Education]]'' ~ ''[[...And Justice for All (film)|...And Justice For All]]'' ~ ''[[And the Band Played On (film)|And the Band Played On]]'' ~ ''[[Angels with Dirty Faces]]'' ~ ''[[Animal Crackers (film)|Animal Crackers]]'' ~ ''[[Apocalypto]]'' ~ ''[[Apt Pupil (film)|Apt Pupil]]'' ~ ''[[Arrival (film)|Arrival]]'' ~ ''[[Assassination of a High School President]]'' ~ ''[[The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford|Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, The]]'' ~ ''[[Atlantic City (1980 film)|Atlantic City]]'' ~''[[Away from Her]]'' ~ ''[[The Awful Truth|Awful Truth, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Bad and the Beautiful|Bad and the Beautiful, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bad Day at Black Rock]]'' ~ ''[[Bad Moms]]'' ~ ''[[Bad Taste]]'' ~ ''[[Badlands (film)|Badlands]]'' ~ ''[[Bananas (film)|Bananas]]'' ~ ''[[Barcelona (film)|Barcelona]]'' ~ ''[[Barry Lyndon]]'' ~ ''[[Batman (1966 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Beasts of the Southern Wild]]'' ~ ''[[Beau Geste (1939 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Beautiful Girls (film)|Beautiful Girls]]'' ~ ''[[The Beast of Yucca Flats|Beast of Yucca Flats, The]]'' ~ ''[[Before Midnight (film)|Before Midnight]]'' ~ ''[[The Believer (film)|Believer, The]]'' ~ ''[[Ben-Hur (1959 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Best in Show]]'' ~ ''[[Best Laid Plans (1999 film)|Best Laid Plans]]'' ~ ''[[The Best Years of Our Lives|Best Years of Our Lives, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bicycle Thieves]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Chill (film)|The Big Chill]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Easy (film)|Big Easy, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Red One|Big Red One, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Short (film)|Big Short, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Sleep (1946 film)|Big Sleep, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Birds|Birds, The]]'' ~ ''[[Birdman (film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Black Cat (1934 film)|Black Cat, The]]'' ~ ''[[BlacKkKlansman]]'' ~ ''[[Black Swan (film)|Black Swan]]'' ~ ''[[The Blood on Satan's Claw|Blood on Satan's Claw. The]]'' ~ ''[[Blood Simple]]'' ~ ''[[Blow Out]]'' ~ ''[[Blue Chips]]'' ~ ''[[Blue Collar (film)|Blue Collar]]'' ~ ''[[Blue Jasmine]]'' ~ ''[[Blue Velvet]]'' ~ ''[[Bohemian Rhapsody (film)|Bohemian Rhapsody]]'' ~ ''[[The Bold Caballero|Bold Caballero, The]]'' ~ ''[[Borat Subsequent Moviefilm]]'' ~ ''[[Boyhood (film)|Boyhood]]'' ~ ''[[The Boys from Brazil (film)|Boys from Brazil, The]]'' ~ ''[[Boys Town (film)|Boys Town]]'' ~ ''[[Boyz n the Hood]]'' ~ ''[[Breaking Away]]'' ~ ''[[Brian's Song]]'' ~ ''[[Bridge of Spies (film)|Bridge of Spies]]'' ~ ''[[Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia]]'' ~ ''[[Broadcast News (film)|Broadcast News]]'' ~ ''[[Brooklyn (film)|Brooklyn]]'' ~ ''[[The Brothers McMullen|Brothers McMullen, The]]'' ~ ''[[Brubaker]]'' ~ ''[[Bull Durham]]'' ~ ''[[Bullitt]]'' ~ ''[[The Cabin in the Woods|Cabin in the Woods, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Caine Mutiny (film)|Caine Mutiny, The]]'' ~ ''[[Camille (1936 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Can't Buy Me Love]]'' ~ ''[[Candy (2006 film)|Candy]]'' ~ ''[[Cape Fear (1991 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Capricorn One]]'' ~ ''[[Captain Phillips (film)|Captain Phillips]]'' ~ ''[[Carnal Knowledge]]'' ~ ''[[Carol (film)|Carol]]'' ~ ''[[Casualties of War]]'' ~ ''[[Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (film)|Cat on a Hot Tin Roof]]'' ~ ''[[Chasing Amy]]'' ~ ''[[Children of Paradise]]'' ~ ''[[Children of the Corn (1984 film)|Children of the Corn]]'' ~ ''[[China Seas (film)|China Seas]]'' ~ ''[[Chloe (film)|Chloe]]'' ~ ''[[Chocolat (2000 film)|Chocolat]]'' ~ ''[[A Chorus Line (film)|Chorus Line, A]]'' ~ ''[[Christine (1983 film)|Christine]]'' ~ ''[[The Cincinnati Kid|Cincinnati Kid, The]]'' ''[[City of Angels]]'' ~ ''[[Class of Nuke 'Em High]]'' ~ ''[[Close Encounters Of The Third Kind]]'' ~ ''[[Collateral]]'' ~ ''[[The Color Purple (film)|Color Purple, The]]'' ~ ''[[Coma (1978 film)|Coma]]'' ~ ''[[Coming Home]]'' ~ ''[[The Commitments|Commitments, The]]'' ~ ''[[Compulsion (film)|Compulsion]]'' ~ ''[[The Constant Gardener (film)|Constant Gardener, The]]'' ~ ''[[Contagion (film)|Contagion]]'' ~ ''[[The Contender (film)|Contender, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Conversation|Conversation, The]]'' ~  ''[[Crazy Rich Asians (film)|Crazy Rich Asians]]'' ~ ''[[Crimewave]]'' ~ ''[[Crimson Tide]]'' ~ ''[[Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon]]'' ~ ''[[Croupier (film)|Croupier]]'' ~ ''[[Cry Freedom]]'' ~ ''[[The Crying Game|Crying Game, The]]'' ~ ''[[Dallas Buyers Club]]'' ~ ''[[Dances with Wolves]]'' ~ ''[[Dark Passage (film)‎|Dark Passage]]'' ~ ''[[Dave (film)|Dave]]'' ~ ''[[The Day of the Jackal (film)|Day of the Jackal, The]]'' ~ ''[[D.E.B.S.]]'' ~ ''[[Dead Calm (film)|Dead Calm]]'' ~ ''[[Dead Man Walking (film)|Dead Man Walking]]'' ~ ''[[The Dead Zone (film)|Dead Zone, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Deer Hunter|Deer Hunter, The]]'' ~ ''[[Deliverance]]'' ~ ''[[The Descendants (film)|Descendants, The]]'' ~ ''[[Destry Rides Again]]'' ~ ''[[Devil in a Blue Dress (film)|Devil in a Blue Dress]]'' ~ ''[[Dial M for Murder]]'' ~ ''[[The Dirty Dozen|Dirty Dozen, The]]'' ~ ''[[Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (film)]]'' ~ ''[[Disturbing Behavior]]'' ~ ''[[Dodsworth (film)|Dodsworth]]'' ~ ''[[Don Jon]]'' ~ ''[[Don Q, Son of Zorro]]'' ~ ''[[Don't Look Up]]'' ~ ''[[The Doors (film)|Doors, The]]'' ~ ''[[Dracula (1958 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Dracula: Prince of Darkness]]'' ~ ''[[Dracula's Daughter]]'' ~ ''[[Dreamscape (1984 film)|Dreamscape]]'' ~ ''[[Dressed to Kill (1980 film)|Dressed to Kill]]'' ~ ''[[Drowning Mona]]'' ~ ''[[Drugstore Cowboy]]'' ~ ''[[Drumline (film)|Drumline]]'' ~ ''[[Duck Soup]]'' ~ ''[[Duel in the Sun (film)|Duel in the Sun]]'' ~ ''[[Easy Rider]]'' ~ ''[[The Edge of Seventeen|Edge of Seventeen, The]]'' ~ ''[[Eight Men Out]]'' ~ ''[[Election (1999 film)|Election]]'' ~ ''[[Elizabeth (film)|Elizabeth]]'' ~ ''[[Elmer Gantry (film)|Elmer Gantry]]'' ~ ''[[Elves (film)|Elves]]'' ~ ''[[The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain|Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain, The]]'' ~ ''[[Escape from New York]]'' ~ ''[[Everest (2015 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Everybody Wants Some!! (film)|Everybody Wants Some!!]]'' ~ ''[[Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask)]]'' ~ ''[[The Evil Dead|Evil Dead, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Exorcist|Exorcist, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Fabulous Baker Boys|Fabulous Baker Boys, The]]'' ~ ''[[A Face in the Crowd (film)|Face in the Crowd, A]]'' ~ ''[[Farewell, My Lovely (1975 film)|Farewell, My Lovely (1975)]]'' ~ ''[[Fatal Attraction]]'' ~ ''[[Father of the Bride (1991 film)|Father of the Bride]]'' ~ ''[[The Favourite (film)|Favourite, The]]'' ~ ''[[Fences (film)|Fences]]'' ~ ''[[The Fighter|Fighter, The]]'' ~ ''[[First Knight]]'' ~ ''[[First Reformed]]'' ~ ''[[Five Easy Pieces]]'' ~ ''[[Five Minutes of Heaven]]'' ~ ''[[Force 10 from Navarone (film)|Force 10 from Navarone]]'' ~ ''[[Foreign Correspondent (film)|Foreign Correspondent]]'' ~ ''[[The Formula (1980 film)|Formula, The]]'' ~ ''[[Frailty]]'' ~ ''[[Frances Ha]]'' ~ ''[[The French Connection (film)|French Connection, The]]'' ~ ''[[Frenzy]]'' ~ ''[[Friday Night Lights (film)|Friday Night Lights]]'' ~ ''[[The Friends of Eddie Coyle|Friends of Eddie Coyle, The]]'' ~ ''[[From Here to Eternity]]'' ~ ''[[Frost/Nixon (film)|Frost/Nixon]]'' ~ ''[[Funny Farm (film)|Funny Farm]]'' ~ ''[[Fury (1936 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Gallipoli (1981 film)|Gallipoli]]'' ~ ''[[Gandhi (film)|Gandhi]]'' ~ ''[[Gaslight (1944 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Get Out (film)|Get Out]]'' ~ ''[[The Getaway (1972 film)|Getaway, The (1972)]]'' ~ ''[[The Giant Claw|Giant Claw, The]]'' ~ ''[[Glen or Glenda]]'' ~ ''[[Glory (film)|Glory]]'' ~ ''[[Go (1999 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Godfather: Part II|Godfather, The: Part II]]'' ~ ''[[The Grand Budapest Hotel|Grand Budapest Hotel, The]]'' ~ ''[[Grand Canyon (1991 film)|Grand Canyon]]'' ~ ''[[The Grapes of Wrath (film)|Grapes of Wrath, The]]'' ~ ''[[Gravity (film)|Gravity]]'' ~ ''[[Green Book (film)|Green Book]]'' ~ ''[[Green Room (film)|Green Room]]'' ~ ''[[Green Zone (film)|Green Zone]]'' ~ ''[[Greenberg (film)|Greenberg]]'' ~ ''[[The Grifters (film)|Grifters, The]]'' ~ ''[[Guarding Tess]]'' ~ ''[[Gun Crazy]]'' ~ ''[[Gung Ho (film)|Gung Ho]]'' ~ ''[[Hacksaw Ridge]]'' ~ ''[[Halloween (1978 film)|Halloween]]'' ~ ''[[Hannah and Her Sisters]]'' ~ ''[[The Happening (2008 film)|Happening, The]]'' ~ ''[[Hard Candy (film)|Hard Candy]]'' ~ ''[[Hard Eight (film)|Hard Eight]]'' ~ ''[[The Hateful Eight|Hateful Eight, The]]'' ~ ''[[Hellbound: Hellraiser II]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Bloodline]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Inferno]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Hellseeker]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Deader]]'' ~ ''[[Hellraiser: Hellworld]]'' ~ ''[[Her (film)|Her]]'' ~ ''[[Hereditary (film)|Hereditary]]'' ~ ''[[Hidden Figures]]'' ~ ''[[The Hidden Fortress|Hidden Fortress, The]]'' ~ ''[[High Noon]]'' ~ ''[[Holiday Inn (film)|Holiday Inn]]'' ~ ''[[Il Postino]]'' ~ ''[[His Girl Friday]]'' ~ ''[[Hollywood Shuffle]]'' ~ ''[[Hoosiers]]'' ~ ''[[Horse Feathers]]'' ~ ''[[The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939 film)|Hound of the Baskervilles, The (1939 film)]]'' ~ ''[[House of Usher (film)|House of Usher]]'' ~ ''[[How Green Was My Valley (film)|How Green Was My Valley]]'' ~ ''[[How the West Was Won (film)|How the West Was Won]]'' ~ ''[[Hud (film)|Hud]]'' ~ ''[[The Hustler|Hustler, The]]'' ~ ''[[I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang]]'' ~ ''[[The Ides of March (film)|Ides of March]]'' ~ ''[[If....]]'' ~ ''[[Imagine Me &amp; You]]'' ~ ''[[The Imitation Game|Imitation Game, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Impossible (2012 film)|Impossible, The]]'' ~ ''[[In &amp; Out]]'' ~ ''[[In a Lonely Place]]'' ~ ''[[In Cold Blood (film)|In Cold Blood]]'' ~ ''[[In the Line of Fire]]'' ~ ''[[In the Name of the Father (film)|In the Name of the Father]]'' ~ ''[[Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Invitation (2015 film)|Invitation, The]]'' ~ ''[[It (2017 film)]]'' ~ ''[[It Conquered the World]]'' ~ ''[[It Follows]]'' ~ ''[[It Happened One Night]]'' ~ ''[[JFK (film)|JFK]]'' ~ ''[[Jacob's Ladder (film)|Jacob's Ladder]]'' ~ ''[[Jailhouse Rock (film)|Jailhouse Rock]]'' ~ ''[[Jigsaw (1949 film)|Jigsaw]]'' ~ ''[[Joe Versus the Volcano]]'' ~ ''[[John Adams (miniseries)|John Adams]]'' ~ ''[[John Wick: Chapter 2]]'' ~ ''[[Just Before Dawn (1981 film)|Just Before Dawn]]'' ~ ''[[Just One of the Guys]]'' ~ ''[[K2 (film)|K2]]'' ~ ''[[Kagemusha]]'' ~ ''[[The Kentucky Fried Movie|Kentucky Fried Movie, The]]'' ~ ''[[Kicking and Screaming]]'' ~ ''[[The Kids Are All Right (film)|Kids Are All Right, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Killer Inside Me (2010 film)|Killer Inside Me, The]]'' ~ ''[[Killer Klowns From Outer Space]]'' ~ ''[[The Killing (film)|Killing, The]]'' ~ ''[[The King of Comedy (1983 film)|The King of Comedy]]'' ~ ''[[King of New York]]'' ~ ''[[The King's Speech|King's Speech, The]]'' ~ ''[[Kings Row]]'' ~ ''[[Kiss Me Deadly]]'' ~ ''[[Klute]]'' ~ ''[[Knives Out]]'' ~ ''[[La La Land (film)|La La Land]]'' ~ ''[[Lady Bird (film)|Lady Bird]]'' ~ ''[[The Lady Eve|Lady Eve, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Lady from Shanghai|Lady from Shanghai, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Lady Vanishes (1938 film)|Lady Vanishes, The (1938 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Last Days of Disco|Last Days of Disco, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Last Detail|Last Detail, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Last of the Mohicans (1992 film)|Last of the Mohicans, The (1992 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Last Picture Show|Last Picture Show, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Last Seduction|Last Seduction, The]]'' ~ ''[[Laura (1944 film)|Laura]]'' ~ ''[[The Lavender Hill Mob|Lavender Hill Mob, The]]'' ~ ''[[Leave Her to Heaven]]'' ~ ''[[Leaving Las Vegas]]'' ~ ''[[The Letter (1940 film)|Letter, The (1940 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Letter from an Unknown Woman (1948 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Life of David Gale|Life of David Gale, The]]'' ~ ''[[Lifeboat (film)|Lifeboat]]'' ~ ''[[Lincoln (2012 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Lion (2016 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Little Caesar (film)|Little Caesar]]'' ~ ''[[The Lobster|Lobster, The]]'' ~ ''[[Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels]]'' ~ ''[[Lolita (1962 film)|Lolita (1962 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Lone Star (1996 film)|Lone Star]]'' ~ ''[[The Long Goodbye (film)|Long Goodbye, The]]'' ~ ''[[Looper (film)|Looper]]'' ~ ''[[Lorenzo's Oil]]'' ~ ''[[Lost Horizon (film)|Lost Horizon]]'' ~ ''[[The Lost Weekend|Lost Weekend, The]]'' ~ ''[[Lucas (film)|Lucas]]'' ~ ''[[MacArthur (film)|MacArthur]]'' ~ ''[[The Magnificent Ambersons (film)|Magnificent Ambersons, The]]'' ~ ''[[Man of the West]]'' ~ ''[[The Man in the Moon|Man in the Moon, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Man Who Wasn't There|Man Who Wasn't There, The]]'' ~ ''[[Margin Call]]'' ~ ''[[Margot at the Wedding]]'' ~ ''[[The Mark of Zorro (1920 film)|Mark of Zorro, The (1920 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Mark of Zorro (1940 film)|Mark of Zorro, The (1940 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Mark of Zorro (1974 film)|Mark of Zorro, The (1974 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Marnie (film)|Marnie]]'' ~ ''[[Marriage Story]]'' ~ ''[[The Martian (film)|Martian, The]]'' ~ ''[[Marty (film)|Marty]]'' ~ ''[[The Master (2012 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Master of the World (1961 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Mean Streets]]'' ~ ''[[Meatballs (film)|Meatballs]]'' ~ ''[[Meet John Doe]]'' ~ ''[[Meet Me in St. Louis]]'' ~ ''[[Meet the Parents]]'' ~ ''[[The Messenger (2009 film)|Messenger, The]]'' ~ ''[[Metropolis (1927 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Metropolitan (film)|Metropolitan]]'' ~ ''[[Midnight Cowboy]]'' ~ ''[[Midnight Express (film)|Midnight Express]]'' ~ ''[[Midsommar (film)|Midsommar]]'' ~ ''[[Mildred Pierce (film)|Mildred Pierce]]'' ~ ''[[Miracle on 34th Street]]'' ~ ''[[Mississippi Burning]]'' ~ ''[[The Missouri Breaks|Missouri Breaks, The]]'' ~ ''[[Mr. Holland's Opus]]'' ~ ''[[Mr. Mom]]'' ~ ''[[Mr. Smith Goes to Washington]]'' ~ ''[[Mrs. Miniver (film)|Mrs. Miniver]]'' ~ ''[[Molly's Game]]'' ~ ''[[Moneyball (film)|Moneyball]]'' ~ ''[[Moonlight (2016 film)|Moonlight]]'' ~ ''[[Moonrise Kingdom]]'' ~ ''[[Mud (2012 film)|Mud]]'' ~ ''[[Mudbound (film)|Mudbound]]'' ~ ''[[Murder, My Sweet]]'' ~ ''[[Murder on the Orient Express (1974 film)|Murder on the Orient Express]]'' ~ ''[[Mutiny on the Bounty (1935 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Mutiny on the Bounty (1962 film)]]'' ~ ''[[My Darling Clementine]]'' ~ ''[[My Man Godfrey]]'' ~ ''[[Mystic Pizza]]'' ~ ''[[The Naked City|Naked City, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Natural (film)|Natural, The]]'' ~ ''[[Near Dark]]'' ~ ''[[Nebraska (film)|Nebraska]]'' ~ ''[[Needful Things (film)|Needful Things]]'' ~ ''[[Never Give a Sucker an Even Break|Never Give a Sucker an Even Break]]'' ~ ''[[Never Let Me Go (2010 film)|Never Let Me Go]]'' ~ ''[[New York, New York (film)|New York, New York]]'' ~ ''[[Night Moves (film)|Night Moves]]'' ~ ''[[Night Shift (film)|Night Shift]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street|Nightmare on Elm Street, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge|Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors|Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master|Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child|Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, A]]'' ~ ''[[Ninotchka]]'' ~ ''[[No Way Out (1987 film)|No Way Out]]'' ~ ''[[Nomadland (film)|Nomadland]]'' ~ ''[[North by Northwest]]'' ~ ''[[Notes on a Scandal (film)|Notes on a Scandal]]'' ~ ''[[Notorious]]'' ~ ''[[Now, Voyager]]'' ~ ''[[Ocean's Thirteen]]'' ~ ''[[Office Christmas Party]]'' ~ ''[[Oklahoma (1955 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Once Upon a Time in Hollywood]]'' ~ ''[[One Night in Miami...]]'' ~ ''[[The Opposite of Sex|Opposite of Sex, The]]'' ~ ''[[Out of the Past]]'' ~ ''[[Out of Sight]]'' ~ ''[[Outside Providence (film)|Outside Providence]]'' ~ ''[[The Package (1989 film)|Package, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Paper Chase (film)|Paper Chase, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Paradine Case|Paradine Case, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Parallax View|Parallax View]]'' ~ ''[[Parasite (2019 film)|Parasite]]'' ~ ''[[Paths of Glory]]'' ~ ''[[The Pawnbroker (film)|The Pawnbroker]]'' ~ ''[[Pay It Forward]]'' ~ ''[[Peggy Sue Got Married]]'' ~ ''[[The Pelican Brief (film)|Pelican Brief, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Perks of Being a Wallflower (film)|Perks of Being a Wallflower, The]]'' ~ ''[[Pet Sematary (film)|Pet Sematary]]'' ~ ''[[The Piano|Piano, The]]'' ~ ''[[Pickup on South Street]]'' ~ ''[[Pillow Talk (film)|Pillow Talk]]'' ~ ''[[The Pink Panther (1963 film)|Pink Panther, The (1963)]]'' ~ ''[[Pitch Perfect 2]]'' ~ ''[[Play Misty for Me]]'' ~ ''[[The Player (film)|Player, The]]'' ~ ''[[Point Blank (1967 film)|Point Blank]]'' ~ ''[[Poltergeist (film)|Poltergeist]]'' ~ ''[[Ponette]]'' ~ ''[[The Power of the Dog (film)|Power of the Dog, The]]'' ~ ''[[Precious: Based on the Novel &quot;Push&quot; by Sapphire]]'' ~ ''[[Presumed Innocent (film)|Presumed Innocent]]'' ~ ''[[Primal Fear (film)|Primal Fear]]'' ~ ''[[Private Parts]]'' ~ ''[[The Producers (1968 film)|Producers (1968 film), The]]'' ~ ''[[The Producers (2005 film)|Producers (2005 film), The]]'' ~ ''[[Project X (2012 film)]]'' ~''[[Prometheus (film)|Prometheus]]'' ~ ''[[Promising Young Woman]]'' ~ ''[[Pump Up the Volume|Pump Up the Volume]]'' ~ ''[[The Purple Rose of Cairo|Purple Rose of Cairo, The]]'' ~ ''[[Q&amp;A (film)|Q&amp;A]]'' ~ ''[[Queen Christina (film)|Queen Christina]]'' ~ ''[[Raiders of the Lost Ark]]'' ~ ''[[The Rainmaker (1997 film)|Rainmaker, The]]'' ~ ''[[Ransom (1996 film)|Ransom]]'' ~ ''[[The Raven (1963 film)|Raven, The]]'' ~ ''[[Raw Deal (1948 film)|Raw Deal (1948)]]'' ~ ''[[Rebecca (film)|Rebecca]]'' ~ ''[[Rebel Without a Cause]]'' ~ ''[[Red River (film)|Red River]]'' ~ ''[[Red Rock West]]'' ~ ''[[The Red Shoes (1948 film)|Red Shoes, The]]'' ~ ''[[Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins]]'' ~ ''[[The Revenant (2015 film)|Revenant, The]]'' ~ ''[[Reversal of Fortune]]'' ~ ''[[Risky Business]]'' ~ ''[[A River Runs Through It (film)|A River Runs Through It]]'' ~ ''[[The Road (film)|Road, The]]'' ~ ''[[Road to Perdition]]'' ~ ''[[The Roaring Twenties|Roaring Twenties, The]]'' ~ ''[[Rob Roy (1995 film)|Rob Roy]]'' ~ ''[[Robot Monster]]'' ~ ''[[RockNRolla]]'' ~ ''[[Rocky II]]'' ~ ''[[Rolling Thunder (film)|Rolling Thunder]]'' ~ ''[[Romancing the Stone]]'' ~ ''[[Room (2015 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Rope (film)|Rope]]'' ~ ''[[Rosemary's Baby (film)|Rosemary's Baby]]'' ~ ''[[The Rules of the Game|Rules of the Game, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Ruling Class|Ruling Class, The]]'' ~ ''[[Rush (1991 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Saboteur (film)|Saboteur]]'' ~ ''[[St. Elmo's Fire (film)|St. Elmo's Fire]]'' ~ ''[[Salvador (film)|Salvador]]'' ~ ''[[Sands of Iwo Jima]]'' ~ ''[[Sanjuro]]'' ~ ''[[Santa Claus Conquers the Martians]]'' ~ ''[[The Savages (film)|Savages, The]]'' ~ ''[[School Ties]]'' ~ ''[[The Science of Sleep|Science of Sleep, The]]'' ~ ''[[Scorpio (film)|Scorpio]]'' ~ ''[[Scott Pilgrim vs. the World]]'' ~ ''[[The Set-Up (1949 film)|Set-Up, The (1949)]]'' ~ ''[[Seven Days in May]]'' ~ ''[[Sexy Beast]]'' ~ ''[[Shadow of a Doubt]]'' ~ ''[[Shakespeare in Love]]'' ~ ''[[She's the One]]'' ~ ''[[A Shot in the Dark (1964 film)|Shot in the Dark, A (1964)]]'' ~ ''[[Shutter Island (film)|Shutter Island]]'' ~ ''[[Sicario (2015 film)|Sicario]]'' ~ ''[[Silver Bullet (film)|Silver Bullet]]'' ~ ''[[Silver Linings Playbook]]'' ~ ''[[Silver Streak (1976 film)|Silver Streak]]'' ~ ''[[Singin' In The Rain]]'' ~ ''[[Singles (1992 film)|Singles]]'' ~ ''[[Slacker (film)|slacker]]'' ~ ''[[Sleeping with the Enemy]]'' ~ ''[[Sneakers (1992 film)|Sneakers]]'' ~ ''[[Snowpiercer]]'' ~ ''[[Something Wicked This Way Comes (film)|Something Wicked This Way Comes]]'' ~ ''[[Sometimes in April]]'' ~ ''[[Sorcerer (film)|Sorcerer]]'' ~ ''[[The Sound of Music|Sound of Music, The]]'' ~ ''[[Southland Tales]]'' ~ ''[[The Spanish Prisoner|Spanish Prisoner, The]]'' ~ ''[[Speak (film)|Speak]]'' ~ ''[[The Spectacular Now|Spectacular Now, The]]'' ~ ''[[Spotlight (film)|Spotlight]]'' ~ ''[[The Squid and the Whale|Squid and the Whale, The]]'' ~ ''[[Stage Door]]'' ~ ''[[Stagecoach (1939 film)‎|Stagecoach]]'' ~ ''[[The Stanford Prison Experiment (film)|Stanford Prison Experiment, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Star Chamber|Star Chamber, The]]'' ~ ''[[State of Grace (film)|State of Grace]]'' ~ ''[[The Stepfather (1987 film)|Stepfather, The (1987)]]'' ~ ''[[Straight Outta Compton (film)|Straight Outta Compton]]'' ~ ''[[The Strange Love of Martha Ivers|Strange Love of Martha Ivers, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Stranger (1946 film)|Stranger, The (1946)]]'' ~ ''[[Strangers on a Train]]'' ~ ''[[Stranger on the Third Floor]]'' ~ ''[[Stripes]]'' ~ ''[[The Sundowners|Sundowners, The]]'' ~ ''[[Super Size Me]]'' ~ ''[[Superman: The Movie]]'' ~ ''[[Superman II]]'' ~ ''[[Suspicion (film)|Suspicion]]'' ~ ''[[Sweet Home Alabama]]'' ~ ''[[Swimming to Cambodia]]'' ~ ''[[Taps]]'' ~ ''[[Target (1985 film)|Target (1985)]]'' ~ ''[[Targets]]'' ~ ''[[Terms of Endearment]]'' ~ ''[[Thank You for Smoking]]'' ~ ''[[Thelma &amp; Louise]]'' ~ ''[[They Live by Night]]'' ~ ''[[This Is the End]]'' ~ ''[[The Three Musketeers (1948 film)|Three Musketeers, The (1948)]]'' ~ ''[[Tin Cup]]'' ~ ''[[Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (film)|Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy]]'' ~ ''[[Titanic (1953 film)]]'' ~ ''[[To Catch a Thief (film)|To Catch a Thief]]'' ~ ''[[To Kill a Mockingbird (film)|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' ~ ''[[To Live and Die in L.A. (film)|To Live and Die in L.A.]]'' ~ ''[[Tomorrow Never Dies]]'' ~ ''[[Tootsie]]'' ~ ''[[Top Gun]]'' ~ ''[[Topaz (1969 film)|Topaz]]'' ~ ''[[Torn Curtain]]'' ~ ''[[The Town (2010 film)|Town, The (2010)]]'' ~ ''[[The Toxic Avenger|Toxic Avenger, The]]'' ~ ''[[Trading Places]]'' ~ ''[[The Trial (1962 film)|Trial, The (1962)]]'' ~ ''[[The Trial of the Chicago 7|Trial of the Chicago 7, The]]'' ~ ''[[Trouble in Paradise (1932 film)]]'' ~ ''[[True Grit (2010 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Twilight Zone: The Movie]]'' ~ ''[[Twins (1988 film)|Twins]]'' ~ ''[[Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me]]'' ~ ''[[The Two Jakes|Two Jakes, The]]'' ~ ''[[Uncle Buck]]'' ~ ''[[Up in the Air (film)|Up in the Air]]'' ~ ''[[Up the Down Staircase (film)|Up the Down Staircase]]'' ~ ''[[Us (2019 film)|Us (2019)]]'' ~ ''[[Vanishing Point (1971 film)|Vanishing Point]]'' ~ ''[[Varsity Blues (film)|Varsity Blues]]'' ~ ''[[The Verdict|Verdict, The]]'' ~ ''[[Vertigo]]'' ~ ''[[Very Bad Things]]'' ~ ''[[Vice (2018 film)|Vice]]'' ~ ''[[The Visit (2015 American film)|Visit, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Way Way Back|Way Way Back, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Wedding Date|Wedding Date, The]]'' ~ ''[[Wes Craven's New Nightmare]]'' ~ ''[[When a Stranger Calls (1979 film)|When a Stranger Calls (1979)]]'' ~ ''[[While We're Young (film)|While We're Young]]'' ~ ''[[Whiplash (2014 film)|Whiplash]]'' ~ ''[[White Men Can't Jump]]'' ~ ''[[The Whole Nine Yards|Whole Nine Yards, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Wicker Man|Wicker Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Wild at Heart (film)|Wild at Heart]]'' ~ ''[[The Wild Bunch|Wild Bunch, The]]'' ~ ''[[Wild Things (film)|Wild Things]]'' ~ ''[[Winter's Bone]]'' ~ ''[[The Witch (2015 film)|Witch, the]]'' ~ ''[[The Witches of Eastwick (film)|Witches of Eastwick, The]]'' ~ ''[[Witchfinder General (film)|Witchfinder General]]'' ~ ''[[Witness (1985 film)|Witness]]'' ~ ''[[The Wolf of Wall Street (2013 film)|Wolf of Wall Street, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Woman in the Window|Woman in the Window, The]]'' ~ ''[[Woman of the Year]]'' ~ ''[[Wonder Boys (film)|Wonder Boys]]'' ~ ''[[Working Girl]]'' ~ ''[[The World According to Garp (film)|World According to Garp]]'' ~ ''[[The World Is Not Enough|World Is Not Enough, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Wrestler (2008 film)|Wrestler, The]]'' ~ ''[[Written on the Wind]]'' ~ ''[[The Wrong Man|Wrong Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Wuthering Heights (1939 film)]]'' ~ ''[[X the Unknown]]'' ~ ''[[Y Tu Mamá También]]'' ~ ''[[The Yakuza|Yakuza, The]]'' ~ ''[[Young Mr. Lincoln]]'' ~ ''[[Youngblood (1986 film)|Youngblood]]''
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''TV Shows'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;   
:''[[American Dreams]]'' ~ ''[[American Gods (TV series)|American Gods]]'' ~ ''[[American Gothic (TV series)|American Gothic]]'' ~ ''[[American Horror Story]]'' ~ ''[[Barney Miller]]'' ~ ''[[Beauty and the Geek]]'' ~ ''[[Big Love]]'' ~ ''[[Big Shots (TV series)|Big Shots]]'' ~ ''[[Billions (TV series)|Billions]]'' ~ ''[[Boomtown]]'' ~ ''[[Boston Public]]'' ~ ''[[The Bridge (2013 TV series)|Bridge, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bridgerton]]'' ~ ''[[Brotherhood (2006 TV series)|Brotherhood]]'' ~ ''[[Camelot (TV series)|Camelot]]'' ~ ''[[A Charlie Brown Christmas|Charlie Brown Christmas, A]]'' ~ ''[[China Beach]]'' ~ ''[[Chuck (TV series)|Chuck]]'' ~ ''[[The Closer|Closer, The]]'' ~ ''[[Columbo]]'' ~ ''[[Crime Story (TV series)|Crime Story]]'' ~ ''[[Criminal Minds]]'' ~ ''[[Damages (TV series)|Damages]]'' ~ ''[[Danger Man]]'' ~ ''[[w:Dark (TV series)|Dark]]'' ~ ''[[Dirty Sexy Money]]'' ~''[[Ed (TV series)|Ed]]'' ~ ''[[The Event|Event, The]]'' ~ ''[[Felicity (TV series)|Felicity]]'' ~ ''[[Ghost Whisperer]]'' ~ ''[[The Good Wife (TV series)|Good Wife, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Handmaid's Tale (TV series)|Handmaid's Tale, The]]'' ~ ''[[Happy Endings (TV series)|Happy Endings]]'' ~ ''[[The Haunting of Hill House (TV series)|Haunting of Hill House, The]]'' ~ ''[[Hill Street Blues]]'' ~ ''[[Homicide: Life on the Street]]'' ~ ''[[House of Lies]]'' ~ ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'' ~ ''[[In Treatment]]'' ~ ''[[Jericho (TV series)|Jericho]]'' ~ ''[[Jersey Shore]]'' ~ ''[[Justified (TV series)|Justified]]'' ~ ''[[Luther (TV series)|Luther]]'' ~ ''[[Midnight Mass (miniseries)|Midnight Mass]]'' ~ ''[[Murder One (TV series)|Murder One]]'' ~ ''[[My So-Called Life]]'' ~ ''[[Narcos]]'' ~ ''[[NYPD Blue]]'' ~ ''[[October Road]]'' ~ ''[[Ozark (TV series)|Ozark]]'' ~ ''[[Party of Five]]'' ~ ''[[Prison Break]]'' ~ ''[[Raising Hope]]'' ~ ''[[Ringer (TV series)|Ringer]]'' ~ ''[[Rubicon (TV series)|Rubicon]]'' ~ ''[[Runaway (TV series)|Runaway]]'' ~ ''[[Salem's Lot (1979 miniseries)]]'' ~ ''[[Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (film)|Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town]]'' ~ ''[[Schoolhouse Rock!]]'' ~ ''[[Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!]]'' ~ ''[[The Shield|Shield, The]]'' ~ ''[[Soap (TV series)|Soap]]'' ~ ''[[Sons of Anarchy]]'' ~ ''[[Spartacus: Blood and Sand]]'' ~ ''[[St. Elsewhere]]'' ~ ''[[Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri]]'' ~ ''[[Top Chef]]'' ~ ''[[Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974 TV special)|Twas the Night Before Christmas]]'' ~ ''[[The Twilight Zone (1985 TV series)]]'' ~ [[Utopia (UK TV series)|''Utopia'']] ~ ''[[Vikings (2013 TV series)|Vikings]]'' ~ ''[[Wildfire (TV series)|Wildfire]]'' ~ ''[[Without a Trace]]'' ~ ''[[The Year Without a Santa Claus|Year Without a Santa Claus, The]]'' ~ ''[[Zorro Rides Again]]'' ~ ''[[Zorro's Fighting Legion]]''
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''People''' 
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Aravind Adiga|Adiga, Aravind]] ~ [[Matthew Arnold|Arnold, Matthew]] ~ [[Chester A. Arthur|Arthur, Chester A.]] ~ [[Richard Barnfield|Barnfield, Richard]] ~ [[Aphra Behn|Behn, Aphra]] ~ [[Edward Bellamy|Bellamy, Edward]] ~ [[Claude Bernard|Bernard, Claude]] ~ [[Gabriel Biel|Biel, Gabriel]] ~ [[Bion]] ~ [[William Blackstone|Blackstone, William]] ~ [[Alexis Bledel|Bledel, Alexis]] ~ [[Roy Blount, Jr.|Blount, Roy]] ~ [[Franz Boas|Boas, Franz]] ~ [[Jacques-Bénigne Bossuet|Bossuet, Jacques-Bénigne]] ~ [[Carl Bernstein|Bernstein, Carl]] ~ [[William Bradford (1590-1657)|Bradford, William]] ~ [[F. H. Bradley|Bradley, F. H.]] ~ [[Robert Bridges|Bridges, Robert]] ~ [[Rick Bright|Bright, Rick]] ~ [[Henry Brougham, 1st Baron Brougham and Vaux|Brougham, Henry]] ~ [[Pierce Brown|Brown, Pierce]] ~ [[James Buchanan|Buchanan, James]] ~ [[Georg Büchner|Büchner, Georg]] ~ [[John C. Calhoun|Calhoun, John C.]] ~ [[Thomas Campbell|Campbell, Thomas]] ~ [[Jane Welsh Carlyle|Carlyle, Jane Welsh]] ~ [[Grover Cleveland|Cleveland, Grover]] ~ [[Stephen L. Carter|Carter, Stephen L.]] ~ [[Constantine P. Cavafy|Cavafy, Constantine P.]] ~ [[Émile Chartier|Chartier, Émile]] ~ [[Lee Child|Child, Lee]] ~ [[Arthur Hugh Clough|Clough, Arthur Hugh]] ~ [[Colley Cibber|Cibber, Colley]] ~ [[James Fenimore Cooper|Cooper, James Fenimore]] ~ [[Pierre Corneille|Corneille, Pierre]] ~ [[Rubén Darío|Darío, Rubén]] ~ [[Daniel Day-Lewis|Day-Lewis, Daniel]] ~ [[Pedro Calderón de la Barca|de la Barca, Pedro Calderón]] ~ [[Walter de la Mare|de la Mare, Walter]] ~ [[Alphonse de Lamartine|de Lamartine, Alphonse]] ~ [[Thomas De Quincey|De Quincey, Thomas]] ~ [[Carol Ann Duffy|Duffy, Carol Ann]] ~[[Charles Fletcher Dole|Dole, Charles Fletcher]] ~ [[Fernando de Rojas|de Rojas, Fernando]] ~ [[Anne Louise Germaine de Staël|de Staël, Anne Louise Germaine]] ~ [[E.L. Doctorow|Doctorow, E.L.]] ~ [[Richard Durbin|Durbin, Richard]] ~ [[Max Eastman|Eastman, Max]] ~ [[Jonathan Edwards|Edwards, Jonathan]] ~ [[Ralph Ellison|Ellison, Ralph]] ~ [[Ennius]] ~ [[Frederick William Faber|Faber, Frederick William]] ~ [[Eugene Field|Field, Eugene]] ~ [[Millard Fillmore|Fillmore, Millard]] ~ [[David Fincher|Fincher, David]] ~ [[Herbert Fisher|Fisher, Herbert]] ~ [[Patrick Fitzgerald|Fitzgerald, Patrick]] ~ [[Jeff Flake|Flake, Jeff]] ~ [[John Fletcher|Fletcher, John]] ~ [[Charles James Fox|Fox, Charles James]] ~ [[James Frazer|Frazer, James]] ~ [[Peter Freund|Freund, Peter]] ~ [[Bill Frist|Frist, Bill]] ~ [[John Galsworthy|Galsworthy, John]] ~ [[James A. Garfield|Garfield, James A.]] ~ [[Kenneth Grahame|Grahame, Kenneth]] ~ [[Sarah Grimké|Grimké, Sarah]] ~ [[Joseph Hall|Hall, Joseph]] ~ [[Edith Hamilton|Hamilton, Edith]] ~ [[August Heckscher II|Heckscher II, August]] ~ [[Auberon Herbert|Herbert, Auberon]] ~ [[Holland-Dozier-Holland]] ~ [[Learned Hand|Hand, Learned]] ~ [[Warren G. Harding|Harding, Warren G.]]  ~ [[Ben Harper|Harper, Ben]] ~ [[Robert Harris (novelist)|Harris, Robert]] ~ [[William Henry Harrison|Harrison, William Henry]] ~ [[John Hart (author)|Hart, John]] ~ [[William Harvey|Harvey, William]] ~ [[Rutherford B. Hayes|Hayes, Rutherford B.]] ~ [[William Randolph Hearst|Hearst, William Randolph]] ~ [[Reginald Heber|Heber, Reginald]] ~ [[Felicia Hemans|Hemans, Felicia]] ~ [[Robert Herrick (poet)|Herrick, Robert]] ~ [[Aaron Hill (writer)|Hill, Aaron]] ~ [[Thomas Hood|Hood, Thomas]] ~ [[William Dean Howells|Howells, William Dean]] ~ [[Ignatius of Loyola]] ~ [[Shirley Jackson|Jackson, Shirley]] ~ [[Jerome K. Jerome|Jerome, Jerome K.]] ~ [[Sarah Orne Jewett|Jewett, Sarah Orne]] ~ [[Andrew Johnson|Johnson, Andrew]] ~ [[James Weldon Johnson|Johnson, James Weldon]] ~ [[Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller]] ~ [[Junius]] ~ [[Yoshida Kenkō|Kenkō, Yoshida]] ~ [[Rockwell Kent|Kent, Rockwell]] ~ [[Jon Krakauer|Krakauer, Jon]] ~ [[Louis Kronenberger|Kronenberger, Louis]] ~ [[Johann Kaspar Lavater|Lavater, Johann Kaspar]] ~ [[Robert M. La Follette Sr.|La Follette Sr., Robert M.]] ~ [[Peter Mere Latham|Latham, Peter Mere]] ~ [[Dennis Lehane|Lehane, Dennis]] ~ [[Alain-René Lesage|Lesage, Alain-René]] ~ [[Henry Cabot Lodge|Lodge, Henry Cabot]] ~ [[Cesare Lombroso|Lombroso, Cesare]] ~ [[Richard Lovelace|Lovelace, Richard]] ~ [[James Russell Lowell|Lowell, James Russell]] ~ [[Lucretius]] ~ [[Karl Marlantes]] ~ [[John Marshall|Marshall, John]] ~ [[George Mason|Mason, George]] ~ [[Robert McCammon|McCammon, Robert]] ~ [[Colum McCann|McCann, Colum]] ~ [[Tom McCarthy (writer)|McCarthy, Tom]] ~ [[William McKinley|McKinley, William]] ~ [[Menander]] ~ [[George Meredith|Meredith, George]] ~ [[James Monroe|Monroe, James]] ~ [[Thomas Moore|Moore, Thomas]] ~ [[John Morley, 1st Viscount Morley of Blackburn|Morley, John]] ~ [[George Nicholas|Nicholas, George]] ~ [[Joyce Carol Oates|Oates, Joyce Carol]] ~ [[William Osler|Osler, William]] ~ [[James Otis|Otis, James]] ~ [[Theodore Parker|Parker, Theodore]] ~ [[Francis Parkman|Parkman, Francis]] ~ [[Stel Pavlou|Pavlou, Stel]] ~ [[Ivan Pavlov|Pavlov, Ivan]] ~ [[Petrarch]] ~ [[Phaedrus]] ~ [[Wendell Phillips|Phillips, Wendell]] ~ [[Franklin Pierce|Pierce, Franklin]] ~ [[William Pitt, 1st Earl of Chatham|Pitt, William]] ~ [[Pliny the Elder]] ~ [[Pliny the Younger]] ~ [[James K. Polk|Polk, James K.]] ~ [[Matthew Prior|Prior, Matthew]] ~ [[Ptahhotep]] ~ [[Ptolemy]] ~ [[Jean Racine|Racine, Jean]] ~ [[Lisa Randall|Randall, Lisa]] ~ [[Ernest Renan|Renan, Ernest]] ~ [[Romain Rolland|Rolland, Romain]] ~ [[Christina Rossetti|Rossetti, Christina]] ~ [[Dante Gabriel Rossetti|Rossetti, Dante Gabriel]] ~ [[Richard Russo|Russo, Richard]] ~ [[Saadi]] ~ [[Andrei Sakharov|Sakharov, Andrei]] ~ [[George Savile, 1st Marquess of Halifax|Savile, George]] ~ [[John Searle|Searle, John]] ~ [[John Selden|Selden, John]] ~ [[Sextus Propertius]] ~ [[Yoshida Shoin|Shoin, Yoshida]] ~ [[Gene Simmons|Simmons, Gene]] ~ [[Michael Marshall Smith|Smith, Michael Marshall]] ~ [[Robert Southey|Southey, Robert]] ~ [[Arlen Specter|Specter, Arlen]] ~ [[Mickey Spillane|Spillane, Mickey]] ~ [[St. Jerome]] ~ [[Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke|St. John, Henry, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke]] ~  [[Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield|Stanhope, Philip]] ~ [[Richard Steele|Steele, Richard]] ~ [[James Kenneth Stephen|Stephen, James Kenneth]] ~ [[Laurence Sterne|Sterne, Laurence]] ~ [[Arthur Symons|Symons, Arthur]] ~ [[John Millington Synge]] ~ [[Zachary Taylor|Taylor, Zachary]] ~ [[Theognis of Megara]] ~ [[Paul Theroux|Theroux, Paul]] ~ [[James Thomson|Thomson, James]] ~ [[Francis Thompson|Thompson, Francis]] ~ [[Steve Toltz|Toltz, Steve]] ~ [[Benjamin Tucker|Tucker, Benjamin]] ~ [[Martin Farquhar Tupper|Tupper, Martin Farquhar]] ~ [[Desmond Tutu|Tutu, Desmond]] ~ [[John Tyler|Tyler, John]] ~ [[John Tyndall|Tyndall, John]] ~ [[Martin Van Buren|Van Buren, Martin]] ~ [[Henry Vaughan|Vaughan, Henry]] ~ [[Fred M. Vinson|Vinson, Fred M.]] ~ [[Morrison Waite|Waite, Morrison]] ~ [[Edmund Waller|Waller, Edmund]] ~ [[Charles Dudley Warner|Warner, Charles Dudley]] ~ [[John Webster|Webster, John]] ~ [[Edith Wharton|Wharton, Edith]] ~ [[William Whewell|Whewell, William]] ~ [[William Julius Wilson|Wilson, William Julius]] ~ [[Henry Wotton|Wotton, Henry]] ~ [[Herman Wouk|Wouk, Herman]] ~ [[Adam Zagajewski|Zagajewski, Adam]]
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Literary works'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:''[[Canto General]]'' ~ ''[[The Mysteries of Pittsburgh|Mysteries of Pittsburgh, The]]''
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Musicians/Bands'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[AC/DC]] ~ [[The Allman Brothers Band|Allman Brothers Band, The]] ~ [[America (band)|America]] ~ [[Arrested Development (group)|Arrested Development]] ~ [[Bad Company]] ~ [[The Beach Boys|Beach Boys, The]] ~ [[The Black Crowes|Black Crowes, The]] ~ [[The Black Keys|Black Keys, The]] ~ [[Blink-182]] ~ [[Boston (band)|Boston]] ~ [[The Cars|Cars, The]] ~ [[Chicago (band)]] ~ [[Counting Crows]] ~ [[The Cranberries|Cranberries, The]] ~ [[Creedence Clearwater Revival]] ~ [[Crosby, Stills &amp; Nash]] ~ [[The Cure|Cure, The]] ~ [[Iris DeMent|DeMent, Iris]] ~ [[Duran Duran]] ~ [[Eve 6]] ~ [[Aretha Franklin|Franklin, Aretha]] ~ [[Eagles (band)|Eagles, The]] ~ [[Echo &amp; the Bunnymen]] ~ [[Florence and the Machine]] ~ [[Dan Fogelberg|Fogelberg, Dan]] ~ [[Foo Fighters]] ~ [[Foreigner (band)|Foreigner]] ~ [[Frankie Goes to Hollywood]] ~ [[Greta Van Fleet]] ~ [[Hall &amp; Oates]] ~ [[Hoobastank]] ~ [[Imagine Dragons]] ~ [[Jack Johnson]] ~ [[Journey (band)|Journey]] ~ [[Kansas (band)|Kansas]] ~ [[The Kinks|Kinks, The]] ~ [[Led Zeppelin]] ~ [[Lynyrd Skynyrd]] ~ [[Maroon 5]] ~ [[Midnight Oil]] ~ [[New Order]] ~ [[Nirvana (band)]] ~ [[Roy Orbison|Orbison, Roy]] ~ [[Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark]] ~ [[Brad Paisley|Paisley, Brad]] ~ [[Pink Floyd]] ~ [[The Pretenders|Pretenders, The]] ~ [[Public Enemy (band)|Public Enemy]] ~ [[Queen (band)|Queen]] ~ [[Gerry Rafferty|Rafferty, Gerry]] ~ [[The Replacements (band)|Replacements, The]] ~ [[The Rolling Stones|Rolling Stones, The]] ~ [[Bob Seger|Seger, Bob]] ~ [[Sly and the Family Stone]] ~ [[The Smiths|Smiths, The]] ~ [[Squeeze (band)|Squeeze]] ~ [[Styx (band)|Styx]] ~ [[Survivor (band)|Survivor]] ~ [[James Taylor|Taylor, James]] ~ [[Tears for Fears]] ~ [[Traffic (band)|Traffic]] ~ [[Yazoo (band)|Yazoo]] ~ [[Yes (band)|Yes]] ~ [[The Zombies|Zombies, The]]
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Theme pages'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Apocalypse]] ~ [[Credit]] ~ [[Innocence]] ~ [[Las Vegas]] ~ [[Logistics]] ~ [[Magna Carta]] ~ [[Minority]] ~ [[Publicity]] ~ [[Rebellion]] ~ [[Self-deception]] ~ [[Treason]] ~ [[United States Constitution]] ~ [[Weakness]] ~ [[Welfare]] ~ [[Wilderness]]
&lt;/div&gt;

=== I unstubbed/significantly expanded ===
* '''Films'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:''[[28 Weeks Later]]'' ~ ''[[42nd Street (film)|42nd Street]]'' ~ ''[[50 First Dates]]'' ~ ''[[After the Thin Man]]'' ~ ''[[Air Force One]]'' ~ ''[[Alien (film)|Alien]]'' ~ ''[[Along Came a Spider (film)]]'' ~ ''[[An American Werewolf in London]]'' ~ ''[[Animal Farm (1999 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Apocalypse Now]]'' ~ ''[[The Asphalt Jungle]]'' ~ ''[[The Bad News Bears|Bad News Bears, The]]'' ~ ''[[Behind Enemy Lines (2001 film)|Behind Enemy Lines]]'' ~ ''[[Beverly Hills Cop II]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Heat|Big Heat, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Sleep (1946 film)|Big Sleep, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Big Store|Big Store, The]]'' ~ ''[[Black Snake Moan (film)|Black Snake Moan]]'' ~ ''[[Born on the Fourth of July]]'' ~ ''[[Braveheart]]'' ~ ''[[Brazil (film)|Brazil]]'' ~ ''[[The Breakfast Club|Breakfast Club, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bride of Frankenstein]]'' ~ ''[[The Bridge on the River Kwai|Bridge on the River Kwai, The]]'' ~ ''[[Bridesmaids (2011 film)|Bridesmaids]]'' ~ ''[[A Bridge Too Far (film)|Bridge Too Far, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Bronx Tale|Bronx Tale, A]]'' ~ ''[[Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid]]'' ~ ''[[Carnival of Souls]]'' ~ ''[[Casablanca]]'' ~ ''[[Catch-22 (film)|Catch-22]]'' ~ ''[[The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe|Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The]]'' ~ ''[[A Clockwork Orange (film)|A Clockwork Orange]]'' ~ ''[[Coma (1978 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Confessions of a Dangerous Mind]]'' ~ ''[[The Core|Core, The]]'' ~ ''[[Crash]]'' ~ ''[[Dead of Night]]'' ~ ''[[D.O.A. (1950 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Day After Tomorrow|Day After Tomorrow, The]]'' ~ ''[[Deadly Friend]]'' ~ ''[[The Devil and Daniel Webster (film)|Devil and Daniel Webster, The]]'' ~ ''[[Dr. No (film)|Dr. No]]'' ~ ''[[Double Indemnity]]'' ~ ''[[Dracula: Dead and Loving It]]'' ~ ''[[Earth Girls Are Easy]]'' ~ ''[[Empire Records]]'' ~ ''[[Erin Brockovich]]'' ~ ''[[The Exorcism of Emily Rose|Exorcism of Emily Rose, The]]'' ~ ''[[Eyes Wide Shut]]'' ~ ''[[The Family Man|Family Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Fletch]]'' ~ ''[[For a Few Dollars More]]'' ~ ''[[Forbidden Planet]]'' ~ ''[[The Forgotten]]'' ~ ''[[Fracture (2007 film)|Fracture]]'' ~ ''[[Frankenstein (1931 film)|Frankenstein]]'' ~ ''[[Fright Night]]'' ~ ''[[The Full Monty]]'' ~ ''[[The Gay Divorcee|Gay Divorcee, The]]'' ~ ''[[Get Carter]]'' ~ ''[[Gilda]]'' ~ ''[[Glengarry Glen Ross (film)|Glengarry Glen Ross]]'' ~ ''[[Go West (1940 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Godfather: Part III|Godfather, The: Part III]]'' ~ ''[[Going My Way]]'' ~ ''[[Goldfinger (film)|Goldfinger]]'' ~ ''[[Gone with the Wind]]'' ~ ''[[Good Will Hunting]]'' ~ ''[[Goodfellas]]'' ~ ''[[Gosford Park]]'' ~ ''[[The Great Debaters|Great Debaters, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Great Escape (film)|Great Escape, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Guns of Navarone|Guns of Navarone, The]]'' ~ ''[[Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers]]'' ~ ''[[Harvey]]'' ~ ''[[He's Just Not That Into You]]'' ~ ''[[Heathers]]'' ~ ''[[Hell or High Water (film)|Hell or High Water]]'' ~ ''[[Honeymoon in Vegas]]'' ~ ''[[House of Sand and Fog (film)‎|House of Sand and Fog]]'' ~ ''[[How to Marry a Millionaire]]'' ~ ''[[The Hunt for Red October (film)|Hunt for Red October, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Hurt Locker|Hurt Locker, The]]'' ~ ''[[I'm No Angel]]'' ~ ''[[Ice Station Zebra]]'' ~ ''[[The Ice Storm|Ice Storm, The]]'' ~ ''[[In the Heat of the Night (film)|In the Heat of the Night]]'' ~ ''[[In Time]]'' ~ ''[[It's a Gift]]'' ~ ''[[It's a Wonderful Life]]'' ~ ''[[Jackie Brown]]'' ~ ''[[Jaws (film)|Jaws]]'' ~ ''[[Jaws 2]]'' ~ ''[[Jerry Maguire]]'' ~ ''[[Joan of Arc (1948 film)]]'' ~ ''[[John Q]]'' ~ ''[[John Tucker Must Die]]'' ~ ''[[Johnny English]]'' ~ ''[[Kansas City Confidential]]'' ~ ''[[The Killers (1946 film)|Killers, The (1946 film)]]'' ~ ''[[The Killing Fields|Killing Fields, The]]'' ~ ''[[Kingdom of Heaven]]'' ~ ''[[Kingpin (1996 film)|Kingpin]]'' ~ ''[[La Bamba (film)|La Bamba]]'' ~ ''[[Lake Placid (film)|Lake Placid]]'' ~ ''[[Laura (1944 film)|Laura]]'' ~ ''[[Les Misérables (1998 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Les Misérables (2012 film)‎]]'' ~ ''[[The Longest Yard (1974 film)|Longest Yard, The (1974 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Love Actually]]'' ~ ''[[Love Happy]]'' ~ ''[[Marathon Man]]'' ~ ''[[Matinee (1993 film)|Matinee]]'' ~ ''[[Meet Joe Black]]'' ~ ''[[Mission: Impossible]]'' ~ ''[[Mr. Deeds Goes to Town‎]]'' ~ ''[[Mortal Kombat (film)|Mortal Kombat]]'' ~ ''[[My Night at Maud's]]'' ~ ''[[National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation]]'' ~ ''[[National Lampoon's Vacation]]'' ~ ''[[Network]]'' ~ ''[[Niagara (1953 film)|Niagara]]'' ~ ''[[A Night at the Opera|Night at the Opera, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Night at the Roxbury|Night at the Roxbury, A]]'' ~ ''[[A Night in Casablanca|Night in Casablanca, A]]'' ~ ''[[The Night of the Hunter (film)|The Night of the Hunter]]'' ~ ''[[Nobody's Fool (1994 film)‎|Nobody's Fool]]'' ~ ''[[Old School]]'' ~ ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service (film)|On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]'' ~ ''[[The People vs. Larry Flynt|People vs. Larry Flynt, The]]'' ~ ''[[Philadelphia (film)‎|Philadelphia]]'' ~ ''[[The Philadelphia Story|Philadelphia Story, The]]'' ~ ''[[Pi]]'' ~ ''[[Plan 9 from Outer Space]]'' ~ ''[[Pleasantville]]'' ~ ''[[The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946 film)|Postman Always Rings Twice, The (1946 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Psycho (1960 film)|Psycho]]'' ~ ''[[Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown]]'' ~ ''[[Radio Flyer (film)|Radio Flyer]]'' ~ ''[[Raising Helen]]'' ~ ''[[Real Genius]]'' ~ ''[[Rear Window]]'' ~ ''[[Remember the Titans]]'' ~ ''[[Revenge of the Pink Panther]]'' ~ ''[[RoboCop 2]]'' ~ ''[[Rocky]]'' ~ ''[[Room Service (1938 film)]]'' ~ ''[[Rushmore]]'' ~ ''[[Saving Private Ryan]]'' ~ ''[[Saw (film)|Saw]]'' ~ ''[[The Secret of My Success (1987 film)|Secret of My Success, The]]'' ~ ''[[A Serious Man]]'' ~ ''[[She Done Him Wrong]]'' ~ ''[[Sixteen Candles]]'' ~ ''[[Sling Blade]]'' ~ ''[[Soapdish]]'' ~ ''[[The Social Network|Social Network, The]]'' ~ ''[[Soylent Green]]'' ~ ''[[The Spiderwick Chronicles (film)|Spiderwick Chronicles, The]]'' ~ ''[[Stand by Me]]'' ~ ''[[State Fair (1945 film)|State Fair]]'' ~ ''[[Stranger Than Paradise]]'' ~ ''[[Sudden Impact]]'' ~ ''[[Swingers]]'' ~ ''[[Taxi Driver]]'' ~ ''[[The Ten Commandments|Ten Commandments, The]]'' ~ ''[[Terminator 2: Judgment Day]]'' ~ ''[[There's Something About Mary‎]]'' ~ ''[[They Shoot Horses, Don't They?]]'' ~ ''[[The Third Man|Third Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Thunderball (film)|Thunderball]]'' ~ ''[[To Have and Have Not (film)|To Have and Have Not]]'' ~ ''[[Top Secret!]]'' ~ ''[[Touch of Evil]]'' ~ ''[[The Treasure of the Sierra Madre|Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The]]'' ~ ''[[Twelve Monkeys]]'' ~ ''[[Vicky Cristina Barcelona]]'' ~ ''[[The Village|Village, The]]'' ~ ''[[Vision Quest]]'' ~ ''[[West Side Story]]'' ~ ''[[White Heat]]'' ~ ''[[Willy Wonka &amp; the Chocolate Factory]]'' ~ ''[[Wings of Desire]]'' ~ ''[[Witness for the Prosecution]]'' ~ ''[[The Wizard of Oz|Wizard of Oz, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Wolf Man (1941 film)|Wolf Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[The World's Fastest Indian|World's Fastest Indian, The]]'' ~ ''[[You Can't Take It with You (film)|You Can't Take It with You]]'' ~ ''[[You Only Live Twice (film)|You Only Live Twice]]'' ~ ''[[Young Sherlock Holmes]]'' ~ ''[[Zoolander]]''
&lt;/div&gt;            

* '''TV Shows'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:''[[The Addams Family (TV series)|Addams Family, The]]'' ~ ''[[Alias]]'' ~ ''[[Army Wives]]'' ~ ''[[Arrested Development]]'' ~ ''[[The Black Donnellys|Black Donnellys, The]]'' ~ ''[[Black Mirror]]'' ~ ''[[Cheers]]'' ~ ''[[Cougar Town]]'' ~ ''[[CSI: Crime Scene Investigation]]'' ~ ''[[Da Vinci's Demons‎]]'' ~ ''[[Damages (TV series)|Damages]]'' ~  ''[[Dawson's Creek]]'' ~ ''[[Doogie Howser, M.D.]]'' ~ ''[[Drawn Together]]'' ~ ''[[The Drew Carey Show|Drew Carey Show, The]]'' ~ ''[[Everwood]]'' ~ ''[[Freaks and Geeks]]'' ~ ''[[Friday Night Lights (TV series)‎]]'' ~ ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'' ~ ''[[Greg the Bunny]]'' ~ ''[[Grey's Anatomy]]'' ~ ''[[Hawaii Five-O]]'' ~ ''[[Heroes]]'' ~ ''[[Ice Road Truckers]]'' ~ ''[[Judging Amy]]'' ~ ''[[The L Word|L Word, The]]'' ~ ''[[Law &amp; Order]]'' ~ ''[[Mad Men]]'' ~ ''[[Magnum, P.I.]]'' ~ ''[[The Mary Tyler Moore Show|Mary Tyler Moore Show, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Middle (TV series)|Middle, The]]'' ~ ''[[The New Adventures of Old Christine|New Adventures of Old Christine, The]]'' ~ ''[[Nip/Tuck]]'' ~ ''[[The Oblongs|Oblongs, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Outer Limits (1963 TV series)|Outer Limits, The (1963)]]'' ~ ''[[Point Pleasant]]'' ~ ''[[Popular (TV series)|Popular]]'' ~ ''[[The Practice]]'' ~ ''[[Queer Eye]]'' ~ ''[[Rectify]]'' ~ ''[[The Rockford Files]]'' ~ ''[[The Sarah Silverman Program|Sarah Silverman Program, The]]'' ~ ''[[Tru Calling]]'' ~ ''[[The Tudors|Tudors, The]]'' ~ ''[[The Twilight Zone (1959 TV series)]]'' ~ ''[[Twin Peaks]]'' ~ ''[[Welcome Back, Kotter]]'' ~ ''[[WKRP in Cincinnati]]'' ~ ''[[The Wonder Years|Wonder Years, The]]''
&lt;/div&gt; (TV series)|Addams Family, The]]'' ~ 

* '''People'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Dan Ariely|Ariely, Dan]] ~ [[William Blake|Blake, William]] ~ [[John Cheever|Cheever, John]] ~ [[William Cullen Bryant|Bryant, William Cullen]] ~ [[Samuel Butler (novelist)|Butler, Samuel]] ~ [[Lord Byron|Byron, Lord]] ~ [[Arthur Chapman|Chapman, Arthur]] ~ [[Anton Chekhov|Chekhov, Anton]] ~ [[William Cobbett|Cobbett, William]] ~ [[Rufus Choate|Choate, Rufus]] ~ [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge|Coleridge, Samuel Taylor]] ~ [[Norman Cousins|Cousins, Norman]] ~ [[Honoré de Balzac|de Balzac, Honoré]] ~ [[Guy Debord|Debord, Guy]] ~ [[Charles Dickens|Dickens, Charles]] ~ [[James Dickey|Dickey, James]] ~ [[Ralph Waldo Emerson|Emerson, Ralph Waldo]] ~ [[Ludwig Andreas Feuerbach|Feuerbach, Ludwig Andreas]] ~ [[Edgar Guest|Guest, Edgar]] ~ [[Stonewall Jackson|Jackson, Stonewall]] ~ [[Daniel Kahneman‎|Kahneman, Daniel]] ~ [[John Keats|Keats, John]] ~ [[Rudyard Kipling|Kipling, Rudyard]] ~ [[Walter Savage Landor|Landor, Walter Savage]] ~ [[Paul Lansky|Lansky, Paul]] ~ [[Edward Lear|Lear, Edward]] ~ [[Livy]] ~ [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow|Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth]] ~ [[Barack Obama|Obama, Barack]] ~ [[Prince (musician)|Prince]] ~ [[Protagoras]] ~ [[AnnaSophia Robb|Robb, AnnaSophia]] ~ [[Philip Roth|Roth, Philip]] ~ [[Bertrand Russell|Russell, Bertrand]] ~ [[Walter Scott]] ~ [[Percy Bysshe Shelley|Shelley, Percy Bysshe]] ~ [[Richard Brinsley Sheridan|Sheridan, Richard Brinsley]] ~ [[Stendhal]] ~ [[Bruce Sterling|Sterling, Bruce]] ~ [[Joseph E. Stiglitz|Stiglitz, Joseph E.]] ~ [[Alfred Tennyson|Tennyson, Alfred]] ~ [[Mark Twain|Twain, Mark]] ~ [[Neil deGrasse Tyson|Tyson, Neil deGrasse]] ~ [[Jack Welch|Welch, Jack]] ~ [[William Wordsworth|Wordsworth, William]]
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Musicians/Bands'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Adele (singer)]] ~ [[Aerosmith]] ~ [[Iggy Azalea|Azalea, Iggy]] ~ [[The Beatles|Beatles, The]] ~ [[James Blunt|Blunt, James]] ~ [[Garth Brooks|Brooks, Garth]] ~ [[Jimmy Buffett|Buffett, Jimmy]] ~ [[Sam Cooke|Cooke, Sam]] ~ [[Depeche Mode]] ~ [[Neil Diamond|Diamond, Neil]] ~ [[Dido]] ~ [[Five for Fighting]] ~ [[Fleetwood Mac]] ~ [[Marvin Gaye|Gaye, Marvin]] ~ [[Benjamin Hoff|Hoff, Benjamin]] ~ [[Buddy Holly|Holly, Buddy]] ~ [[Billy Joel|Joel, Billy]] ~ [[Waylon Jennings|Jennings, Waylon]] ~ [[Elton John|John, Elton]] ~ [[Toby Keith|Keith, Toby]] ~ [[Kid Rock]] ~ [[The Killers (band)|Killers, The]] ~ [[Carole King|King, Carole]] ~ [[Mark Knopfler|Knopfler, Mark]] ~ [[The Lonely Island|Lonely Island, The]] ~ [[Curtis Mayfield|Mayfield, Curtis]] ~ [[Sarah McLachlan|McLachlan, Sarah]] ~ [[Van Morrison|Morrison, Van]] ~ [[Mötley Crüe]] ~ [[Muse (band)|Muse]] ~ [[OneRepublic]] ~ [[Tom Petty|Petty, Tom]] ~ [[Pink (singer)|Pink]] ~ [[The Police|Police, The]] ~ [[Otis Redding|Redding, Otis]] ~ [[Bruce Springsteen|Springsteen, Bruce]] ~ [[Steely Dan]] ~ [[Taylor Swift|Swift, Taylor]] ~ [[Talking Heads]] ~ [[Rufus Wainwright|Wainwright, Rufus]] ~ [[Lucinda Williams|Williams, Lucinda]] ~ [[U2]] ~ [[Neil Young|Young, Neil]]
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Literary works'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:''[[Eragon]]'' ~ ''[[The Everlasting Man|Everlasting Man, The]]'' ~ ''[[Macbeth]]'' ~ ''[[King Lear]]'' ~ ''[[Richard III (play)]]'' ~ ''[[Romeo and Juliet]]''
&lt;/div&gt;

* '''Themes'''
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Anticipation]] ~ [[Censure]] ~ [[Conviction]] ~ [[Cunning]] ~ [[Debt]] ~ [[Discourse]] ~ [[Effort]] ~ [[Envy]] ~ [[Experience]] ~ [[Exploration]] ~ [[Failure]] ~ [[Fame]] ~ [[Family]] ~ [[Foreign aid]] ~ [[Health]] ~ [[Honor]] ~ [[Human rights]] ~ [[Ideas]] ~ [[Inhumanity]] ~ [[Majority]] ~ [[Malice]] ~ [[Melancholy]] ~ [[New Deal]] ~ [[Opinion]] ~ [[Passion]] ~ [[Persecution]] ~ [[Physiognomy]] ~ [[Prudence]] ~ [[Respect]] ~ [[Rhetoric]] ~ [[Security]] ~ [[Self-esteem]] ~ [[Self-pity]]
&lt;/div&gt;

=== I rescued from deletion ===
&lt;div style=&quot;font-size:smaller;&quot;&gt;
:[[Aleksis Kivi]] ~ [[Bergen Evans]] ~ ''[[Constantine]]'' ~ ''[[Gotti]]'' ~ ''[[Hung (TV series)|Hung]]'' ~ ''[[Million Dollar Baby]]'' ~ ''[[Night Court]]'' ~ ''[[The Searchers]]''
&lt;/div&gt;</text>
      <sha1>dvjjx0jjjvzdxv6dni2j246i4ee59ky</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>12888</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149276</id>
      <parentid>3140777</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T09:17:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>106.70.139.62</ip>
      </contributor>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8969" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (film)|The Adventures of Rocky &amp; Bullwinkle]]''''' is a comedy film released in 2000, starring [[Robert De Niro|De Niro]], [[Rene Russo|Russo]], [[w:Jason Alexander|Alexander]], [[w:Bullwinkle J. Moose|Moose]] and [[w:Rocky the Flying Squirrel|Squirrel]].

== Dialogue ==
: ''[Over stock footage of various historical events in a parody of a newsreel plays in a theater]''
: '''Narrator''': ''[first lines]'' 1964: A crucial moment in American history: Lyndon Johnson is re-elected to the presidency by a landslide, the New York World's Fair introduces a bright new future. ''[scene cuts to show Bullwinkle pulling Rocky from his hat]'' And after 5 scintillating years on the air,
: '''Bullwinkle J. Moose''': Presto!
: '''Narrator''': ''The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show'' is abruptly canceled. 
: '''Rocket &quot;Rocky&quot; J. Squirrel''' and '''Bullwinkle''': ''[shocked]'' Canceled?!
: ''[The duo is pulled away by a vaudeville hook as two janitors come by to clean up the mess]''
: '''Narrator''': Uh, sorry about that, boys.
: ''[The screen cuts to a card reading &quot;TODAY&quot;, followed by shots of more recent live-action footage]''
: '''Narrator''': A lot has changed in 35 years: Velcro has replaced the zipper, sneakers have lights on them, the Cold War is over, and ''The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show'' is still cancelled.
: ''[As the duo get pulled away again, the newsreel ends as a hobo yawn and exits the theater. Cut to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota where things are looking lively with the locals]''
: '''Narrator''': Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, once the beloved home of Rocky and Bullwinkle had been a thriving cartoon town. ''[crossfade to a &quot;third-world country version&quot; of Frostbite Falls]'' Now, it was crippled by years of reruns.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: ''[Rocky and Bullwinkle's arch-rivals, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale, and their leader, Fearless Leader, have transformed from animated characters into live action]''
: '''Minnie Mogul''': Hey! How did that happen?
: '''Fearless Leader''': We are attached to the project.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: ''[as Karen Sympathy, a beautiful FBI agent, activates &quot;The Rocky and Bullwinkle Movie&quot; in a studio lighthouse, a green light shines from a projector. Cuts back to Frostbite Falls where Rocky and Bullwinkle spot it]''
: '''Rocky''': What's happening?
: '''Bullwinkle''': Cobs and shuckins, Rock! The president must be beaming us to [[w:Washington, D.C.|Washington]]!
: '''Rocky''': That's not the president, Bullwinkle, that's a green light from [[w:Hollywood, Los Angeles|Hollywood]]. Those TV people must've changed their minds.
: ''[The green light hits Rocky and Bullwinkle]''
: '''Rocky''' and '''Bullwinkle''': '''''Whoa!!!!!!!'''''
: '''Narrator's Mother''': ''[as the green light takes her son with them]'' Goodbye, Sonny!
: '''Narrator''': I'll be back for hiatus, Ma!
: '''Bullwinkle''': '''''Hang on, Rocky!!'''''
: '''Narrator''': '''''Mama!!!!!'''''
: ''[Rocky and Bullwinkle, now in C.G.I. animation, get sucked into the projector of the lighthouse. They get dropped out into the room of the lighthouse]''
: '''Rocky''': Hokey smoke! Are you alright?
: '''Bullwinkle''': Yeah, but I think we're on the wrong show. Look how well they drew that girl.
: '''Karen Sympathy''': It's you. It's really you! Rocky… and Bull-- Bull-- Bull--
: '''Bullwinkle''': I believe the word you're trying to say is &quot;winkle&quot;.
: '''Karen''': Bullwinkle.
: '''Rocky''': Hey, what network are you from?
: '''Karen''': I'm not from any network. Agent Karen Sympathy, FBI.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Fearless Leader''': Silence! ''[a message from the White House has arrived]'' It's a message from the mole at the White House!
: '''Boris Badenov''' and '''Natasha Fatale''': Moose and Squirrel!
: '''Fearless Leader''': ''[tearing the message but throws it on the floor]'' Moose and Squirrel. How many times in the past they stood me and my dreams of glory? How many times have they foiled my plans with their bungling interference?
: '''Boris''': Uh, 28?
: '''Fearless Leader''': Quiet, idiot! They must never reach New York alive. Destroy them personally.
: '''Boris''': After 30 years of waiting, another chance to crush Moose and Squirrel! ''[kisses Fearless Leader's hand]''
: '''Natasha''': Oh, Fearless Leader, you are so good to us! ''[kisses Fearless Leader's other hand]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: ''[Karen, Rocky and Bullwinkle spot Boris and Natasha with a cannon]''
: '''Karen''': What's with the cannon?
: '''Boris''' and '''Natasha''': It's traditional!
: ''[Boris lights the fuse on the cannon]''
: '''Rocky''' and '''Bullwinkle''': '''''RUN!!!!''''' ''[run off]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: ''[The cannon doesn't fire]''
: '''Boris''' and '''Natasha''': ''[looking at each other in confusion]'' Where is the boom?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Narrator''': ''[as Boris and Natasha see a helicopter]'' Oh, damn! Never mind.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Narrator''': Yes, Boris and Natasha were back in business, but they have no way of discovering the route our heroes have taken and-- ''[Boris snatches the map from the fourth wall]'' Hey! You can't do that!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Rocky''': ''[after he saved Karen from falling while Bullwinkle flies on the airplane]'' Hang on, Karen! Hang on! If I could just--
: ''[Rocky carries Karen by her legs and back]''
: '''Karen''': Rocky! You're flying! You're flying!
: '''Rocky''': Yes, I am! I certainly am! New York City, here we come!
&lt;hr width= &quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Cappy von Trapment''': ''[to Bullwinkle, while wearing his mask and headphones at the White House]'' Bullwinkle, don't watch! Bullwinkle! Oh, no, not you, too!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Cappy von Trapment''': Bullwinkle, allow me to be frank.
: '''Bullwinkle''': OK, Frank, allow me to be Bullwinkle.
: '''Cappy &quot;Frank&quot; von Trapment''': ''[shaking Bullwinkle's hand]'' I'm Cappy Von Trapment, FBI.
: '''Bullwinkle''': I thought you said your name was Frank.
: '''Frank''': Shut up, Bullwinkle!
: '''Bullwinkle''': OK, Frank.
: '''Frank''': As we speak, 99% of the country is slobbering in front of the television.
: '''Bullwinkle''': What's so strange about that?
: '''Frank''': Listen to me! We haven't heard from Karen. I think she and Rocky are in terrible danger. Let's get you to New York!
: '''Bullwinkle''': I thought ''this'' was New York.
: '''Frank''': No, Bullwinkle, that's Washington out there! That's Washington!
: '''Bullwinkle''': ''[looking at President Signoff]'' Really? Where's that little white wig he always wears?
: '''Frank''': ''[annoyed]'' Oh, it's no use.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Bullwinkle''': If only there were some ways of transmitting computer-generated animated characters across great distances in the blink of an eye.
: '''Frank''': Bullwinkle, that's it!
: '''Bullwinkle''': It is?
: '''Frank''': Yes, it's our only chance! We're gonna E-mail you to Karen in New York.
: '''Bullwinkle''': OK, but don't you think she'd rather get flowers?
: '''Frank''': Just shut up and hold on!
: '''Bullwinkle''': OK!
: '''Frank''': ''[grabbing Bullwinkle and is about to shove him inside the computer scanner drive]'' 1, 2…
: '''Bullwinkle''': 3!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Bucky Weasel''': Look, I'm hanging four! Surf's up, dude!
: '''Bullwinkle''': Hang on, Rocky! I'm coming!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Boris Badenov''': '''FEARLESS LEADER, MOOSE IS LOOSE!!!'''
: '''Fearless Leader''': '''''GET THEM!!!!!!'''''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: ''[last lines]''
: '''Bullwinkle''': Bye!
: '''Rocky''': Bye-bye!

== Cast ==
=== Character Voices ===
* '''[[w:June Foray|June Foray]]''' — [[w:Rocky the Flying Squirrel|Rocky]], [[w:Boris Badenov#Natasha Fatale|Natasha]] &lt;small&gt;(cartoon voice)&lt;/small&gt;, Narrator's Mom
** '''Susan Berman'''&lt;br&gt;'''Mark Silverman'''&lt;br&gt;'''Kristen Lowman''' — Rocky &lt;small&gt;(stand-in voice)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''[[w:Keith Scott (voice actor)|Keith Scott]]''' — [[w:Bullwinkle J. Moose|Bullwinkle]], Narrator, [[w:Fearless Leader|Fearless Leader]] &amp; [[w:Boris Badenov|Boris]] &lt;small&gt;(cartoon voices)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''Susan Berman''' — Bucky [[w:Weasel|Weasel]]

=== Live-Action Characters ===
* '''[[Rene Russo]]''' — Natasha
* '''[[w:Jason Alexander|Jason Alexander]]''' — Boris
* '''[[w:Randy Quaid|Randy Quaid]]''' — Cappy &quot;Frank&quot; von Trapment
* '''[[w:Kel Mitchell|Kel Mitchell]]''' — Martin
* '''[[w:Kenan Thompson|Kenan Thompson]]''' — Lewis
* '''[[w:Piper Perabo|Piper Perabo]]''' — Karen Sympathy
* '''[[Robert De Niro]]''' — Fearless Leader

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0131704|title=The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Adventures of Rocky &amp; Bullwinkle, The}}
[[Category:2000 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Live-action films based on animated series]]
[[Category:Films set in Minnesota]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]</text>
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  <page>
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      <text bytes="38778" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Jeremy_Bentham_by_Henry_William_Pickersgill_detail.jpg|thumb|right|The [[greatest]] [[happiness]] of the greatest [[number]] is the foundation of [[morals]] and [[legislation]].]]
'''[[w:Jeremy Bentham|Jeremy Bentham]]''' ([[15 February]] [[1748]] – [[6 June]] [[1832]]) was a British gentleman, jurist, philosopher, and legal and social reformer. He is best known as an early advocate of [[utilitarianism]] and [[animal rights]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Jeremy Bentham by Thomas Frye.jpg|thumb|right| [[Nature]] has placed [[mankind]] under the governance of two sovereign masters, ''[[pain]]'' and ''[[pleasure]]''. It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do.]]

* [[Joseph Priestley|Priestley]] was the first (unless it was [[w:Cesare Beccaria|Beccaria]]) who taught my lips to pronounce this sacred [[truth]] — that '''the [[greatest]] [[happiness]] of the greatest number is the foundation of [[morals]] and legislation.'''
** &quot;Extracts from Bentham's Commonplace Book&quot;, in ''Collected Works'', x, p. 142; He credits Priestley in his ''[[w:Essay on the First Principles of Government|Essay on the First Principles of Government]]'' (1768) or Beccaria with inspiring his use of the phrase, often paraphrased as &quot;'''The greatest good for the greatest number'''&quot;, but the statement &quot;the greatest happiness for the greatest number&quot; actually originates with [[w:Francis Hutcheson (philosopher)|Francis Hutcheson]], in his ''Inquiry concerning Moral Good and Evil'' (1725), sect. 3. In an unpublished manuscript on utilitarianism, written for [[James Mill]], Bentham later criticized this formulation: &quot;'''Greatest happiness ''of the greatest number.'' Some years have now elapsed since, upon a closer scrutiny, reason, altogether incontestable, was found for discarding this appendage. On the surface, additional clearness and [[correctness]] given to the idea: at bottom, the opposite qualities.''' Be the community in question what it may, divide it into two unequal parts, call one of them the majority, the other the minority, lay out of the account the feelings of the minority, include in the account no feelings but those of the majority, '''the result you will find is that to the aggregate stock of happiness of the community, loss not profit is the result of the operation.''' Of this proposition the truth will be the more palpable, the greater the ratio of the number of the minority to that of the majority: in other words, the less difference between the two unequal parts: and suppose the condivident part equal, the quantity of the error will then be at its maximum.&quot; — as quoted in ''The Collected Works of Jeremy Bentham: Deontology ...'' (1983) edited by Amnon Goldworth, p. 309;

* '''Create [[all]] the [[happiness]] you are able to create: remove all the [[misery]] you are able to remove.''' Every day will allow you to add something to the [[pleasure]] of others, or to diminish something of their [[pains]]. And for every grain of enjoyment you sow in the bosom of another, you shall find a harvest in your own bosom; while every [[sorrow]] which you pluck out from the [[thoughts]] and [[feelings]] of a fellow creature shall be replaced by beautiful [[peace]] and [[joy]] in the sanctuary of your [[soul]].
** Advice to a young girl (22 June 1830)

* To what shall the character of utility be ascribed, if not to that which is a source of pleasure?
** ''Théorie des peines et des récompenses'' (1811); translation by Richard Smith, ''The Rationale of Reward'', J. &amp; H. L. Hunt, London, 1825, Bk. 3, Ch. 1

*It is part of a work to which if ever it should be completed I intend to give some such title as Principles of Legal Policy; the object of it is to trace out a new model for the Laws: of my own country you may imagine, in the first place: but keeping those of other countries all along in view. To ascertain what the Laws ought to be, in form and tenor as well as in matter: and that elsewhere as well as here. All that I shall say to recommend it to you is that I have taken counsel of you much oftener than of our own Ld. [[Edward Coke|Coke]] and [[w:Matthew Hale (jurist)|Hale]] and [[William Blackstone|Blackstone]]. The repose of [[Grotius]] and [[w:Samuel von Pufendorf|Puffendorf]] and [[w:Jean Barbeyrac|Barbeyrac]] and [[w:Jean-Jacques Burlamaqui|Burlamaqui]] I would never wish to see disturbed. I have built solely on the foundation of utility, laid as it is by [[w:Claude Adrien Helvétius|Helvetius]]. Becarria has been ''lucrative pedibus'', or if you please ''manibus, meis''.
**Letter to [[Voltaire]] (''c''. November 1776), quoted in Timothy L. S. Sprigge (ed.), ''The Correspondence of Jeremy Bentham'' (2017), p. 367

* It is the principle of antipathy which leads us to speak of offences as ''deserving'' punishment. It is the corresponding principle of sympathy which leads us to speak of certain actions as ''meriting'' reward. This word ''merit'' can only lead to passion and error. '''It is ''effects'' good or bad which we ought alone to consider.'''
** ''MSS'' 29, 32, University College Collection

* Want keeps pace with dignity. Destitute of the [[lawful]] means of supporting his rank, his dignity presents a motive for malversation, and his [[power]] furnishes the means.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=W2lYAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA246&amp;dq=malversation&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=TQlHTKuqHYfJnAespJjOBA&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=28&amp;ved=0CKsBEOgBMBs4ZA#v=onepage&amp;q=malversation&amp;f=false The Rationale of Reward (1811)]

[[File:Jeremy Bentham embalmed - geograph.org.uk - 221062.jpg|thumb|right| [[Judges]] of elegance and [[taste]] consider themselves as benefactors to the [[human]] race, whilst they are really only the interrupters of their [[pleasure]]…]]
* '''Judges of elegance and taste consider themselves as benefactors to the human race, whilst they are really only the interrupters of their pleasure''' … There is no taste which deserves the epithet ''good'', unless it be the taste for such employments which, to the pleasure actually produced by them, conjoin some contingent or future utility: there is no taste which deserves to be characterized as bad, unless it be a taste for some occupation which has mischievous tendency.
** ''Théorie des peines et des récompenses'' (1811); translation by Richard Smith, ''The Rationale of Reward'', J. &amp; H. L. Hunt, London, 1825, Bk. 3, Ch. 1

*Ah! when will the yoke of ''Custom''—Custom, the blind tyrant, of which all other tyrants make their slave—ah! when will that misery-perpetuating yoke be shaken off?—when, when will ''Reason'' be seated on her throne?
**''Plan of Parliamentary Reform, in the Form of a Catechism, with Reasons for Each Article: With an Introduction, Showing the Necessity of Radical, and the Inadequacy of Moderate, Reform'' (1817), quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Part X'' (1839), p. 495

*Figure to yourself the mixture of surprise and delight which has this instant been poured into my mind by the sound of my name, as uttered by you, in the speech just read to me out of the ''Morning Herald''... By one and the same man, not only [[w:Reform Bills|Parliamentary Reform]], but [[w:Law reform|Law Reform]] advocated. Advocated? and by what man? By one who, in the vulgar sense of profit and loss, has nothing to gain by it... Yes, only from [[Ireland]] could such self-sacrifice come; nowhere else: least of all in [[England]], cold, selfish, priest-ridden, lawyer-ridden, lord-ridden, squire-ridden, soldier-ridden England, could any approach to it be found.
**Letter to [[Daniel O'Connell]] (15 July 1828) after O'Connell delivered a speech in the House of Commons in which he advocated parliamentary and legal reform, and ended by calling himself &quot;an humble disciple of the immortal Bentham&quot;, quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Vol. X'' (1843), pp. 594-595

*[I am] at heart more of a United-States-man than an Englishman.
**Letter to [[Andrew Jackson]] (14 June 1830), quoted in ''Correspondence of Andrew Jackson, Volume 4'', ed. David Maydole Matteson (1929), p. 146

* Liberty therefore not being more fit than other words in some of the instances in which it has been used, and not so fit in others, the less the use that is made of it the better. I would no more use the word liberty in my conversation when I could get another that would answer the purpose, than I would brandy in my diet, if my physician did not order me: both cloud the understanding and inflame the passions.
** Jeremy Bentham, quoted in P. J. Kelly, ''Utilitarianism and Distributive Justice: Jeremy Bentham and the Civil Law'', Oxford, 1990, p. 96

[[File:Jeremy Bentham Auto-Icon.jpg|thumb|right|Every [[law]] is an [[evil]], for every law is an infraction of [[liberty]]: And I repeat that [[government]] has but a [[choice]] of evils…]]
* It is with government, as with medicine. They have both but a choice of evils. '''Every law is an evil, for every law is an infraction of liberty: And I repeat that government has but a choice of evils''': In making this choice, what ought to be the object of the legislator? '''He ought to assure himself of two things; 1st, that in every case, the incidents which he tries to prevent are really evils; and 2ndly, that if evils, they are greater than those which he employs to prevent them.''' &lt;br&gt; There are then two things to be regarded; the evil of the offence and the evil of the law; the evil of the malady and the evil of the remedy. &lt;br&gt; An evil comes rarely alone. A lot of evil cannot well fall upon an individual without spreading itself about him, as about a common centre. In the course of its progress we see it take different shapes: '''we see evil of one kind issue from evil of another kind; evil proceed from good and good from evil. All these changes, it is important to know and to distinguish; in this, in fact, consists the essence of legislation.'''
** ''Principles of Legislation'' (1830), Ch. X : Analysis of Political Good and Evil; How they are spread in society

*Rights are, then, the fruits of the law, and of the law alone. There are no rights without law—no rights contrary to the law—no rights anterior to the law. Before the existence of laws there may be reasons for wishing that there were laws—and doubtless such reasons cannot be wanting, and those of the strongest kind;—but a reason for wishing that we possessed a right, does not constitute a right. To confound the existence of a reason for wishing that we possessed a right, with the existence of the right itself, is to confound the existence of a want with the means of relieving it. It is the same as if one should say, ''everybody is subject to hunger, therefore everybody has something to eat''.
**''Pannomial Fragments'' (''c''. 1831), quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Vol. III'' (1838), p. 221

*[O]f corruption, the principal and direct use is, to engage the representatives of the people to betray their trust, and sell themselves and the people to the universal corrupter—the monarch, in his capacity of corrupter-general.
**''Constitutional Code'' (written between 1820 and 1832), quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Vol. XVII'' (1841), p. 76

* '''Prose is when all the lines except the last go on to the end. Poetry is when some of them fall short of it.'''
** As quoted in ''Life of [[John Stuart Mill]]'' (1954) by M. St.J. Packe, Bk. I, Ch. II

* Secrecy is an instrument of conspiracy; it ought not, therefore, to be the system of a regular government.
** ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=AusJAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=&amp;quot;Secresy+is+an+instrument+of+conspiracy+it+ought+not+therefore+to+be+the+system+of+a+regular+government&amp;quot;&amp;pg=PA315#v=onepage On Publicity]'' from ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham'' volume 2, part 2 (1839)

=== ''Anarchical Fallacies'' (1843) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/bentham-the-works-of-jeremy-bentham-vol-2 ''Anarchical Fallacies; Being an Examination of the Declarations of Rights Issued During the French Revolution'']&lt;/small&gt;

* '''That which has no existence cannot be destroyed — that which cannot be destroyed cannot require anything to preserve it from destruction. Natural rights is simple nonsense: natural and imprescriptible rights, rhetorical nonsense — nonsense upon stilts.''' But this rhetorical nonsense ends in the old strain of mischievous nonsense for immediately a list of these pretended natural rights is given, and those are so expressed as to present to view legal rights. And of these rights, whatever they are, there is not, it seems, any one of which any government can, upon any occasion whatever, abrogate the smallest particle.
** A Critical Examination of the Declaration of Rights

* Whenever you are about to be oppressed, you have a right to resist oppression: whenever you conceive yourself to be oppressed, conceive yourself to have a right to make resistance, and act accordingly. In proportion as a law of any kind—any act of power, supreme or subordinate, legislative, administrative, or judicial, is unpleasant to a man, especially if, in consideration of such its unpleasantness, his opinion is, that such act of power ought not to have been exercised, he of course looks upon it as oppression: as often as anything of this sort happens to a man—as often as anything happens to a man to inflame his passions,—this article, for fear his passions should not be sufficiently inflamed of themselves, sets itself to work to blow the flame, and urges him to resistance. Submit not to any decree or other act of power, of the justice of which you are not yourself perfectly convinced. If a constable call upon you to serve in the militia, shoot the constable and not the enemy;—if the commander of a press-gang trouble you, push him into the sea—if a bailiff, throw him out of the window. If a judge sentence you to be imprisoned or put to death, have a dagger ready, and take a stroke first at the judge.
** A Critical Examination of the Declaration of Rights

===''An Introduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation'' (1789; 1823)===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.econlib.org/library/Bentham/bnthPML.html Full text online (1823 edition)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Jeremy Bentham by Henry William Pickersgill.jpg|thumb|right|The day may come when the rest of the animal creation may acquire those rights which never could have been withholden from them but by the hand of tyranny. (...) The question is not Can they ''reason''?, nor Can they ''talk''?, but Can they ''suffer''?]]

* '''The principle of utility judges any action to be right by the tendency it appears to have to augment or diminish the happiness of the party whose interests are in question... if that party be the community the happiness of the community, if a particular individual, the happiness of that individual.'''
** Introduction (1789 edition)

* '''Nature has placed mankind under the governance of two sovereign masters, ''pain'' and ''pleasure.''  It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do.''' On the one hand the standard of right and wrong, on the other the chain of causes and effects, are fastened to their throne. They govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm it. In words a man may pretend to abjure their empire: but in reality he will remain subject to it all the while. The ''principle of utility'' recognizes this subjection, and assumes it for the foundation of that system, the object of which is to rear the fabric of felicity by the hands of reason and of law. Systems which attempt to question it, deal in sounds instead of sense, in caprice instead of reason, in darkness instead of light.
** Ch. 1: Of the Principle of Utility

*Intense, long, certain, speedy, fruitful, pure—&lt;br&gt;Such marks in pleasures and in pains endure.&lt;br&gt;Such pleasures seek if private be thy end:&lt;br&gt;If it be public, wide let them extend.&lt;br&gt;Such pains avoid, whichever be thy view:&lt;br&gt;If pains must come, let them extend to few.
** Ch. 4: Value of a Lot of Pleasure or Pain, How to be Measured

* The community is a fictitious ''body'', composed of the individual persons who are considered as constituting as it were its ''members''. The interest of the community then is what? The sum of the interests of the several members who compose it. 
** Ch. 1: Of the Principle of Utility

* '''[P]leasure is in ''itself'' a good; nay, even setting aside immunity from pain, the only good: pain is in itself an evil; and, indeed, without exception, the only evil'''; or else the words good and evil have no meaning. And this is alike true of every sort of pain, and of every sort of pleasure.
** Ch. 10: Of Motives

* '''[I]n principle and in practice, in a right track and in a wrong one, the rarest of all human qualities is consistency.'''
** Ch. 1: Of the Principle of Utility

* The day has been, I grieve to say in many places it is not yet past, in which the greater part of the species, under the denomination of slaves, have been treated by the law exactly upon the same footing as, in England for example, the inferior races of animals are still. '''The day ''may'' come when the rest of the animal creation may acquire those rights which never could have been withholden from them but by the hand of tyranny.''' The French have already discovered that the blackness of the skin is no reason why a human being should be abandoned without redress to the caprice of a tormentor. It may one day come to be recognized that the number of legs, the villosity of the skin, or the termination of the ''os sacrum'' are reasons equally insufficient for abandoning a sensitive being to the same fate. What else is it that should trace the insuperable line? Is it the faculty of reason, or perhaps the faculty of discourse? But a full-grown horse or dog is beyond comparison a more rational, as well as a more conversable animal, than an infant of a day or a week or even a month, old. But suppose they were otherwise, what would it avail? '''The question is not Can they ''reason''?, nor Can they ''talk''?, but Can they ''suffer?'''''
**Ch. 17: Of the Limits of the Penal Branch of Jurisprudence

* In looking over the catalogue of human actions (says a partizan of this principle) in order to determine which of them are to be marked with the seal of disapprobation, you need but to take counsel of your own feelings: whatever you find in yourself a propensity to condemn, is wrong for that very reason. For the same reason it is also meet for punishment: '''in what proportion it is adverse to utility, or whether it be adverse to utility at all, is a matter that makes no difference.''' In that same proportion also is it meet for punishment: if you hate much, punish much: if you hate little, punish little: punish as you hate. If you hate not at all, punish not at all: the fine feelings of the soul are not to be overborne and tyrannized by the harsh and rugged dictates of political utility.
** Ch. 2: Of Principles Adverse to That of Utility

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.
** Attributed to Bentham in ''The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations‎'' (1949) by Evan Esar, p. 29; no earlier sources for this have been located.
* All poetry is misrepresentation
** An Aphorism attributed to him according to John Stuart Mill (see Mill's essay ''On Bentham and Coleridge'' in Utilitarianism edt. by Mary Warnock p. 123).

{{disputed end}}

==Quotes about Bentham==
[[File:JohnStuartMill.jpg|thumb|Yet in the first pages of Bentham it burst upon me with all the force of novelty. What thus impressed me was the chapter in which Bentham passed judgment on the common modes of reasoning in morals and legislation, (...) and characterized them as dogmatism in disguise, imposing its sentiments upon others under cover of sounding expressions which convey no reason for the sentiment, but set up the sentiment as its own reason. It had not struck me before, that Bentham’s [[Utilitarianism|principle [of utility]]] put an end to all this. The feeling rushed upon me, that all previous moralists were superseded, and that here indeed was the commencement of a new era in thought.&lt;br&gt;~[[John Stuart Mill]]]]
[[File:Joshua Greene.png|thumb|The founding utilitarians, Bentham and Mill, were not just armchair philosophers. They were daring social reformers, intensely engaged with the social and political issues of their day. Indeed, many familiar social issues became social issues because Bentham and Mill made them so.&lt;br&gt;~ [[Joshua Greene]]]]

*A century ago it was perfectly well known that whoever had one audience of a Master in Chancery was made to pay for three, but no man heeded the enormity until it suggested to a young lawyer that it might be well to question and examine with rigorous suspicion every part of a system in which such things were done. The day on which that gleam lighted up the clear hard mind of Jeremy Bentham is memorable in the political calendar beyond the entire administration of many statesmen.&lt;!--p.3--&gt;
**[[John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton|Lord Acton]], &quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=F38MAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA3 The History of Freedom in Antiquity]&quot; (1877)

*Bentham is a denyer, he ''denies'' with a loud and universally convincing voice: his fault is that he can ''affirm'' nothing, except that money is pleasant in the purse and food in the stomach, and that by this simplest of all Beliefs he can reorganise Society.
**[[Thomas Carlyle]] to Macvey Napier (20 January 1831), quoted in Fred Kaplan, ''Thomas Carlyle: A Biography'' (1983), p. 158

*Jeremy Bentham opposed [[William Blackstone|Blackstone]] most bitterly... He made a critical attack on Blackstone's ''[[w:Commentaries on the Laws of England|Commentaries]]'' in a book called ''Fragment on Government''. He started it, I am sorry to say, when he was staying at my little town of Whitchurch in Hampshire – one of the few bad things to come out of it. But there, I never thought anything of Jeremy Bentham. He was the most pretentious person that ever lived. Like [[Archimedes]] in his bath, he cried &quot;Eureka!&quot; (I have found it) in 1768 whn he discovered the phrase &quot;the greatest happiness of the greatest number&quot;. He regarded that – the philosophy of utilitarianism – as the solution for all legal problems as well as social cones. It solves nothing. He started many books but finished none of them. 
**[[Alfred Denning, Baron Denning|Lord Denning]], ''What Next in the Law'' (1982), p. 17

*[[Individualism]] as regards legislation is popularly, and not without reason, connected with the name and the principles of Bentham. The name of one man, it is true, can never adequately summarise a whole school of thought, but from 1825 onwards the teaching of Bentham exercised so potent an influence that to him is fairly ascribed that thorough-going though gradual amendment of the law of England which was one of the main results of the [[w:Reform Act 1832|Reform Act]].
**[[A. V. Dicey]], ''Lectures on the Relation between Law and Public Opinion'' (second edition, 1914; 2008), p. 91

* '''The founding utilitarians, Bentham and Mill, were not just armchair philosophers. They were daring social reformers, intensely engaged with the social and political issues of their day. Indeed, many familiar social issues became social issues because Bentham and Mill made them so.''' Their views were considered radical at the time, but today we take for granted most of the social reforms for which they fought. They were among the earliest opponents of slavery and advocates of free speech, free markets, widely available education, environmental protection, prison reform, women's rights, animal rights, gay rights, workers' rights, the right to divorce, and the separation of church and state.
**[[Joshua Greene]], ''Moral Tribes: Emotion, Reason, and the Gap Between Us and Them'' (2013), p. 155

*His primary concern was with neither psychology nor ethics, nor was it with &quot;political theory&quot;, but with the reform of existing laws by means of a science of law... Bentham considered that both the Common Law and the administration that Parliament was supposed to supervise were incoherent and antiquated, and that systematic examination and comprehensive overhaul were just precisely what were required... To a considerable degree Bentham was adopting towards the legal institutions of his own country much the attitude that the rationalist [[w:Philosophes|Philosophes]] were adopting towards the whole of the social institutions of France.
**[[w:Wilfrid Harrison|Wilfrid Harrison]], 'Introduction', Jeremy Bentham, ''A Fragment on Government and An Introduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation'' (1948), pp. xviii, xxiii

*Bentham and his [[Utilitarianism|Utilitarians]] did much to destroy the beliefs which England had in part preserved from the Middle Ages, by their scornful treatment of most of what until then had been the most admired features of the British constitution. And they introduced into Britain what had so far been entirely absent&amp;mdash;the desire to remake the whole of the law and institutions on rational principles.
**[[Friedrich Hayek]], ''[[The Constitution of Liberty]]'' (1960), p. 174

*I should emphasise that I am largely neglecting here the long history of this revolt, as well as the different turns it has taken in different lands. Long before [[Auguste Comte]] introduced the term  'positivism' for the view that represented a 'demonstrated ethics' (demonstrated by reason, that is) as the only possible alternative to a supernaturally 'revealed ethics' (1854:1, 356), Jeremy Bentham had developed the most consistent foundations of what we now call legal and moral positivism: that is, the constructivistic interpretation of systems of law and morals according to which their validity and meaning are supposed to depend wholly on the will and intention of their designers. Bentham is himself a late figure in this development. This constructivism includes not only the Benthamite tradition, represented and continued by [[John Stuart Mill]] and the later English Liberal Party, but also practically all contemporary Americans who call themselves 'liberals' (as opposed to some other very different thinkers, more often found in Europe, who are also called liberals, who are better called `old Whigs', and whose outstanding thinkers were Alexis de Tocqueville and Lord Acton). This constructivist way of thinking becomes virtually inevitable if, as an acute contemporary Swiss analyst suggests, one accepts the prevailing liberal (read 'socialist') philosophy that assumes that man, so far as the distinction between good and bad has any significance for him at all, must, and can, himself deliberately draw the line between them (Kirsch, 1981:17).
**[[Friedrich Hayek]], ''The Fatal Conceit'' (1988), Ch. 4: The Revolt of Instinct and Reason

*Mr. Bentham is very much among philosophers what La Fontaine was among poets:—in general habits and in all but his professional pursuits, he is a mere child. He has lived for the last forty years in a house in Westminster, overlooking the Park, like an anchoret in his cell, reducing law to a system, and the mind of man to a machine. He scarcely ever goes out, and sees very little company. The favoured few, who have the privilege of the entrée, are always admitted one by one.
**The Spirit of the Age by [[William Hazlitt]] 

* [Bentham] once said his ambition was to be “the most effectively benevolent man who ever lived.” He may well have been so.
** Mary Peter Mack, ''Jeremy Bentham'', [https://www.encyclopedia.com/people/philosophy-and-religion/philosophy-biographies/jeremy-bentham Encyclopedia.com] 

*It is perhaps fortunate that Mr. Bentham devoted a much greater share of his time and labour to the subject of legislation, than that of morals; for the mode in which he understood and applied the principle of Utility, appears to me far more conducive to true and valuable results in the former, than in the latter of these two branches of inquiry.
**[[John Stuart Mill]], &quot;Remarks on Bentham's Philosophy&quot; in [https://archive.org/details/englandenglish0000lytt/page/407/mode/1up Appendix B] of [[Edward Bulwer-Lytton]], ''England and the English'' (1833)

* If we were asked to say, in the fewest possible words, what we conceive to be Bentham’s place among these great intellectual benefactors of humanity; what he was, and what he was not; what kind of service he did and did not render to truth; we should say—'''he was not a great philosopher, but a great reformer in philosophy'''.
** [[John Stuart Mill]], Bentham, ''Dissertations and Discussions'', London, 1859

*The Benthamic standard of “the greatest happiness” was that which I had always been taught to apply; I was even familiar with an abstract discussion of it, forming an episode in an unpublished dialogue on Government, written by my father on the Platonic model. Yet in the first pages of Bentham it burst upon me with all the force of novelty. What thus impressed me was the chapter in which Bentham passed judgment on the common modes of reasoning in morals and legislation, deduced from phrases like “law of nature,” “right reason,” “the moral sense,” “natural rectitude,” and the like, and characterized them as dogmatism in disguise, imposing its sentiments upon others under cover of sounding expressions which convey no reason for the sentiment, but set up the sentiment as its own reason. '''It had not struck me before, that Bentham’s principle [of utility] put an end to all this. The feeling rushed upon me, that all previous moralists were superseded, and that here indeed was the commencement of a new era in thought.'''
**[[John Stuart Mill]], ''Autobiography'' (1873), Ch. 3: Last Stage of Education and First of Self-Education.

*In their time, Bentham's ideas promoted [[progress]], reform, wider [[democracy]], and the amelioration of undesirable social conditions. Bentham lived... when common people, the &quot;labouring poor,&quot; had little voice and no vote... Their toil and sacrifices enhanced the power of the nation, the glory of its rulers, the wealth of industrialists and merchants, and the indolent ease of the aristocrats. Yet here was a philosopher who said that people are people regardless of their social position. ...[L]egislators ought actively to augment the total happiness of the community. Instead of the people serving the state, the state should serve the people. ...[H]is slogan for government was &quot;Be quiet.&quot; But he did not worship [[laissez-faire]] as a principle to be accepted blindly. ...[T]he state should monopolize the issue of paper money, thereby saving interest on its borrowing. It should... operate [[w:Life insurance|life]] and [[w:Life annuity|annuity insurance]], and tax inheritance, monopolies, [etc.] ...Bentham's idea of [[w:Marginal utility#Diminishing marginal utility|diminishing marginal utility]] of money suggested an argument for the [[Redistribution of income and wealth|redistribution of income]]. ...[M]ore happiness will be gained by the poor person than will be lost by the wealthy one. ...Bentham's devotion to the [[Utilitarianism|greatest good for the greatest number]] led him to... advocate for.. democratic reforms. He supported universal (male) suffrage, equal electoral districts, annual parliaments, and the secret ballot. He opposed the [[monarchy]] and the {{w|House of Lords}}, arguing that only in a democracy do the interest of the governors and the governed become identical. ...Bentham urged a system of national education, even for pauper children. Frugality Banks... should... stimulate saving by the poor. {{w|Public works}} should provide jobs for [[Unemployment|unemployed]] workers during slack times. ...He designed ...a model [[prison]] that would [[w:Prison reform|reform criminals]] rather than punish them. No wonder Bentham and his circle of intellects (including [[James Mill]], [[John Stuart Mill]], and [[David Ricardo|Ricardo]]) were called &quot;philosophic radicals.&quot;
**Jacob Oser, Stanley L. Brue, ''The Evolution of Economic Thought'' (1963, 1988) 4th edition, pp. 122-123

*The Reformers had been in the unhappy position of not having brains enough for their programme. Bentham supplied them. He classified and (inevitably) systematized the vapourings of [[w:Francis Burdett|Burdett]] and the nebulous projects of [[w:John Cartwright (political reformer)|Cartwright]]. Bentham took the Burdettite catchwords of the day and gave them meaning: he redeemed the cause of democracy by providing it with a basis of reasoned theory. The sole clue to political conduct, he held, was Interest. What wonder, then, if [[Whigs (British political party)|Whigs]] and [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tories]] were indistinguishable, since their interests were identical? The country was being governed by a minority for the partial interests of a minority: was not that the very definition of corruption? Corruption...was a system, it was a political theory, it was the whole government of England. Aristocracy as a form of government was itself an intolerable grievance... He based his democracy not on political considerations, but on the fundamental tag of the &quot;greatest happiness of the greatest number&quot;. He gave Reform an irresistible catchword: he opened up a new and impugnable line of argument... Bentham gave the Reform movement a much-needed intellectual fillip. Through [[James Mill|Mill]], in the ''[[w:Edinburgh Review|Edinburgh Review]]'', he reached the genteel establishments: through [[w:Francis Place|Place]], he stiffened the people.
**[[w:Michael Roberts (historian)|Michael Roberts]], ''The Whig Party, 1807–1812'' (1939), pp. 261-263, 265

*Ethical hedonism was originally tied to psychological hedonism about human motivation. Bentham assumed that all humans are basically and exclusively motivated by the desire to gain pleasure and avoid pain, but it is possible to maintain ethical hedonism while rejecting, as most present utilitarians are inclined to do, psychological hedonism. However, certain later and contemporary versions of utilitarianism broaden the notion of ethical hedonism so that human or personal good is understood to be constituted by whatever satisfies people's desires or preferences or makes people happy.
**[[w:Michael Slote|Michael Slote]], in the article on [http://www.mywire.com/a/Oxford-Companion-Philosophy/utilitarianism/9566219/ Utilitarianism in ''The Oxford Companion to Philosophy'' (1995)] edited by [[w: Ted Honderich| Ted Honderich]], p. 890

*For as a hedonist, Bentham apparently bases moral status not on the dignity of rational nature but rather solely on the capacity to feel pleasure and pain. And this is clearly different from the Kantian position. Yet I claim that Bentham’s idea here is in general terms not inconsistent with Kantian ethics but is instead a corollary of the Kantian position. I would even claim that Kantian ethics provides a better justification for it than Bentham’s hedonism–a shallow empiricist doctrine that cannot account properly even for the values it assigns to pleasure and pain in human beings.&lt;br&gt;[…] Nonhuman animals do not have the capacity to reason or to talk. Therefore, beyond making the obvious point that they are not persons in the strict sense, whether they have or lack these capacities is irrelevant to how we should treat them. Bentham is therefore correct in telling us not to ask about these matters when we are deciding how to treat animals. What is relevant, because it relates their capacities to those of rational nature, is the fact that they can suffer, and desire, and sometimes also care – about members of their own species, or even occasionally about members of other species, such as humans. Bentham is therefore also correct in telling us what we should ask about these capacities, for they are the relevant ones. Bentham is correct, however, not because [[Immanuel Kant|Kant]] is wrong, but because Kant is right.
**[[Allen W. Wood]], ''Kantian Ethics'' (2008), Ch. 5. Humanity

== See also ==
{{Social and political philosophers}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikisource author|Jeremy Bentham}}
{{commons}}
* [http://www.utm.edu/research/iep/b/bentham.htm Profile in ''The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy'']
* [https://www.utilitarianism.net/utilitarian-thinker/jeremy-bentham Jeremy Bentham], biographical profile, including quotes and further resources in [https://www.utilitarianism.net/ Introduction to Utilitarianism: An Online Textbook]
* [https://oll.libertyfund.org/person/jeremy-bentham Online Library of Liberty - Jeremy Bentham]
* [http://www.ucl.ac.uk/Bentham-Project/ The Bentham Project] at University College London. Includes a [http://www.ucl.ac.uk/Bentham-Project/who/autoicon history] of the Auto-Icon, [http://www.ucl.ac.uk/Bentham-Project/tools/neologisms Neologisms of Jeremy Bentham] (words he created, including international, maximize and minimize), and details of Bentham's will.
* [http://socserv.mcmaster.ca/econ/ugcm/3ll3/bentham/ Bentham Index]
* [http://utilitarian.net/bentham Jeremy Bentham at Utilitarian.net]
* [http://jeromekahn123.tripod.com/utilitarianismtheethicaltheoryforalltimes/id4.html Jeremy Bentham's Life and Impact]
* [http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02482b.htm Benthamism in ''The Catholic Encyclopedia'']
* [http://www.livingphilosophy.org.uk/philosophy/Jeremy_Bentham/ &quot;Jeremy Bentham at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2007&quot;]
* [http://www.ditext.com/bentham/bentham.html &quot;Critique of the Doctrine of Inalienable, Natural Rights&quot; in '' Anarchical Fallacies'']
* [http://librivox.org/offences-against-ones-self-paederasty-by-jeremy-bentham/ &quot;Offences Against One's Self: Paederasty&quot;, c. 1785, free audiobook from LibriVox]

{{Classical economists}}

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      <text bytes="38779" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Jeremy_Bentham_by_Henry_William_Pickersgill_detail.jpg|thumb|right|The [[greatest]] [[happiness]] of the greatest [[number]] is the foundation of [[morals]] and [[legislation]].]]
'''[[w:Jeremy Bentham|Jeremy Bentham]]''' ([[15 February]] [[1748]] – [[6 June]] [[1832]]) was a British gentleman, jurist, philosopher, and legal and social reformer. He is best known as an early advocate of [[utilitarianism]] and [[animal rights]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Jeremy Bentham by Thomas Frye.jpg|thumb|right| [[Nature]] has placed [[mankind]] under the governance of two sovereign masters, ''[[pain]]'' and ''[[pleasure]]''. It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do.]]

* [[Joseph Priestley|Priestley]] was the first (unless it was [[w:Cesare Beccaria|Beccaria]]) who taught my lips to pronounce this sacred [[truth]] — that '''the [[greatest]] [[happiness]] of the greatest number is the foundation of [[morals]] and legislation.'''
** &quot;Extracts from Bentham's Commonplace Book&quot;, in ''Collected Works'', x, p. 142; He credits Priestley in his ''[[w:Essay on the First Principles of Government|Essay on the First Principles of Government]]'' (1768) or Beccaria with inspiring his use of the phrase, often paraphrased as &quot;'''The greatest good for the greatest number'''&quot;, but the statement &quot;the greatest happiness for the greatest number&quot; actually originates with [[w:Francis Hutcheson (philosopher)|Francis Hutcheson]], in his ''Inquiry concerning Moral Good and Evil'' (1725), sect. 3. In an unpublished manuscript on utilitarianism, written for [[James Mill]], Bentham later criticized this formulation: &quot;'''Greatest happiness ''of the greatest number.'' Some years have now elapsed since, upon a closer scrutiny, reason, altogether incontestable, was found for discarding this appendage. On the surface, additional clearness and [[correctness]] given to the idea: at bottom, the opposite qualities.''' Be the community in question what it may, divide it into two unequal parts, call one of them the majority, the other the minority, lay out of the account the feelings of the minority, include in the account no feelings but those of the majority, '''the result you will find is that to the aggregate stock of happiness of the community, loss not profit is the result of the operation.''' Of this proposition the truth will be the more palpable, the greater the ratio of the number of the minority to that of the majority: in other words, the less difference between the two unequal parts: and suppose the condivident part equal, the quantity of the error will then be at its maximum.&quot; — as quoted in ''The Collected Works of Jeremy Bentham: Deontology ...'' (1983) edited by Amnon Goldworth, p. 309;

* '''Create [[all]] the [[happiness]] you are able to create: remove all the [[misery]] you are able to remove.''' Every day will allow you to add something to the [[pleasure]] of others, or to diminish something of their [[pains]]. And for every grain of enjoyment you sow in the bosom of another, you shall find a harvest in your own bosom; while every [[sorrow]] which you pluck out from the [[thoughts]] and [[feelings]] of a fellow creature shall be replaced by beautiful [[peace]] and [[joy]] in the sanctuary of your [[soul]].
** Advice to a young girl (22 June 1830)

* To what shall the character of utility be ascribed, if not to that which is a source of pleasure?
** ''Théorie des peines et des récompenses'' (1811); translation by Richard Smith, ''The Rationale of Reward'', J. &amp; H. L. Hunt, London, 1825, Bk. 3, Ch. 1

*It is part of a work to which if ever it should be completed I intend to give some such title as Principles of Legal Policy; the object of it is to trace out a new model for the Laws: of my own country you may imagine, in the first place: but keeping those of other countries all along in view. To ascertain what the Laws ought to be, in form and tenor as well as in matter: and that elsewhere as well as here. All that I shall say to recommend it to you is that I have taken counsel of you much oftener than of our own Ld. [[Edward Coke|Coke]] and [[w:Matthew Hale (jurist)|Hale]] and [[William Blackstone|Blackstone]]. The repose of [[Grotius]] and [[w:Samuel von Pufendorf|Puffendorf]] and [[w:Jean Barbeyrac|Barbeyrac]] and [[w:Jean-Jacques Burlamaqui|Burlamaqui]] I would never wish to see disturbed. I have built solely on the foundation of utility, laid as it is by [[w:Claude Adrien Helvétius|Helvetius]]. Becarria has been ''lucrative pedibus'', or if you please ''manibus, meis''.
**Letter to [[Voltaire]] (''c''. November 1776), quoted in Timothy L. S. Sprigge (ed.), ''The Correspondence of Jeremy Bentham'' (2017), p. 367

* It is the principle of antipathy which leads us to speak of offences as ''deserving'' punishment. It is the corresponding principle of sympathy which leads us to speak of certain actions as ''meriting'' reward. This word ''merit'' can only lead to passion and error. '''It is ''effects'' good or bad which we ought alone to consider.'''
** ''MSS'' 29, 32, University College Collection

* Want keeps pace with dignity. Destitute of the [[lawful]] means of supporting his rank, his dignity presents a motive for malversation, and his [[power]] furnishes the means.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=W2lYAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA246&amp;dq=malversation&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=TQlHTKuqHYfJnAespJjOBA&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=28&amp;ved=0CKsBEOgBMBs4ZA#v=onepage&amp;q=malversation&amp;f=false The Rationale of Reward (1811)]

[[File:Jeremy Bentham embalmed - geograph.org.uk - 221062.jpg|thumb|right| [[Judges]] of elegance and [[taste]] consider themselves as benefactors to the [[human]] race, whilst they are really only the interrupters of their [[pleasure]]…]]
* '''Judges of elegance and taste consider themselves as benefactors to the human race, whilst they are really only the interrupters of their pleasure''' … There is no taste which deserves the epithet ''good'', unless it be the taste for such employments which, to the pleasure actually produced by them, conjoin some contingent or future utility: there is no taste which deserves to be characterized as bad, unless it be a taste for some occupation which has mischievous tendency.
** ''Théorie des peines et des récompenses'' (1811); translation by Richard Smith, ''The Rationale of Reward'', J. &amp; H. L. Hunt, London, 1825, Bk. 3, Ch. 1

*Ah! when will the yoke of ''Custom''—Custom, the blind tyrant, of which all other tyrants make their slave—ah! when will that misery-perpetuating yoke be shaken off?—when, when will ''Reason'' be seated on her throne?
**''Plan of Parliamentary Reform, in the Form of a Catechism, with Reasons for Each Article: With an Introduction, Showing the Necessity of Radical, and the Inadequacy of Moderate, Reform'' (1817), quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Part X'' (1839), p. 495

*Figure to yourself the mixture of surprise and delight which has this instant been poured into my mind by the sound of my name, as uttered by you, in the speech just read to me out of the ''Morning Herald''... By one and the same man, not only [[w:Reform Bills|Parliamentary Reform]], but [[w:Law reform|Law Reform]] advocated. Advocated? and by what man? By one who, in the vulgar sense of profit and loss, has nothing to gain by it... Yes, only from [[Ireland]] could such self-sacrifice come; nowhere else: least of all in [[England]], cold, selfish, priest-ridden, lawyer-ridden, lord-ridden, squire-ridden, soldier-ridden England, could any approach to it be found.
**Letter to [[Daniel O'Connell]] (15 July 1828) after O'Connell delivered a speech in the House of Commons in which he advocated parliamentary and legal reform, and ended by calling himself &quot;an humble disciple of the immortal Bentham&quot;, quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Vol. X'' (1843), pp. 594-595

*[I am] at heart more of a United-States-man than an Englishman.
**Letter to [[Andrew Jackson]] (14 June 1830), quoted in ''Correspondence of Andrew Jackson, Volume 4'', ed. David Maydole Matteson (1929), p. 146

* Liberty therefore not being more fit than other words in some of the instances in which it has been used, and not so fit in others, the less the use that is made of it the better. I would no more use the word liberty in my conversation when I could get another that would answer the purpose, than I would brandy in my diet, if my physician did not order me: both cloud the understanding and inflame the passions.
** Jeremy Bentham, quoted in P. J. Kelly, ''Utilitarianism and Distributive Justice: Jeremy Bentham and the Civil Law'', Oxford, 1990, p. 96

[[File:Jeremy Bentham Auto-Icon.jpg|thumb|right|Every [[law]] is an [[evil]], for every law is an infraction of [[liberty]]: And I repeat that [[government]] has but a [[choice]] of evils…]]
* It is with government, as with medicine. They have both but a choice of evils. '''Every law is an evil, for every law is an infraction of liberty: And I repeat that government has but a choice of evils''': In making this choice, what ought to be the object of the legislator? '''He ought to assure himself of two things; 1st, that in every case, the incidents which he tries to prevent are really evils; and 2ndly, that if evils, they are greater than those which he employs to prevent them.''' &lt;br&gt; There are then two things to be regarded; the evil of the offence and the evil of the law; the evil of the malady and the evil of the remedy. &lt;br&gt; An evil comes rarely alone. A lot of evil cannot well fall upon an individual without spreading itself about him, as about a common centre. In the course of its progress we see it take different shapes: '''we see evil of one kind issue from evil of another kind; evil proceed from good and good from evil. All these changes, it is important to know and to distinguish; in this, in fact, consists the essence of legislation.'''
** ''Principles of Legislation'' (1830), Ch. X : Analysis of Political Good and Evil; How they are spread in society

*Rights are, then, the fruits of the law, and of the law alone. There are no rights without law—no rights contrary to the law—no rights anterior to the law. Before the existence of laws there may be reasons for wishing that there were laws—and doubtless such reasons cannot be wanting, and those of the strongest kind;—but a reason for wishing that we possessed a right, does not constitute a right. To confound the existence of a reason for wishing that we possessed a right, with the existence of the right itself, is to confound the existence of a want with the means of relieving it. It is the same as if one should say, ''everybody is subject to hunger, therefore everybody has something to eat''.
**''Pannomial Fragments'' (''c''. 1831), quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Vol. III'' (1838), p. 221

*[O]f corruption, the principal and direct use is, to engage the representatives of the people to betray their trust, and sell themselves and the people to the universal corrupter—the monarch, in his capacity of corrupter-general.
**''Constitutional Code'' (written between 1820 and 1832), quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Vol. XVII'' (1841), p. 76

* '''Prose is when all the lines except the last go on to the end. Poetry is when some of them fall short of it.'''
** As quoted in ''Life of [[John Stuart Mill]]'' (1954) by M. St.J. Packe, Bk. I, Ch. II

* Secrecy is an instrument of conspiracy; it ought not, therefore, to be the system of a regular government.
** ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=AusJAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=&amp;quot;Secresy+is+an+instrument+of+conspiracy+it+ought+not+therefore+to+be+the+system+of+a+regular+government&amp;quot;&amp;pg=PA315#v=onepage On Publicity]'' from ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham'' volume 2, part 2 (1839)

=== ''Anarchical Fallacies'' (1843) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/bentham-the-works-of-jeremy-bentham-vol-2 ''Anarchical Fallacies; Being an Examination of the Declarations of Rights Issued During the French Revolution'']&lt;/small&gt;

* '''That which has no existence cannot be destroyed — that which cannot be destroyed cannot require anything to preserve it from destruction. Natural rights is simple nonsense: natural and imprescriptible rights, rhetorical nonsense — nonsense upon stilts.''' But this rhetorical nonsense ends in the old strain of mischievous nonsense for immediately a list of these pretended natural rights is given, and those are so expressed as to present to view legal rights. And of these rights, whatever they are, there is not, it seems, any one of which any government can, upon any occasion whatever, abrogate the smallest particle.
** A Critical Examination of the Declaration of Rights

* Whenever you are about to be oppressed, you have a right to resist oppression: whenever you conceive yourself to be oppressed, conceive yourself to have a right to make resistance, and act accordingly. In proportion as a law of any kind—any act of power, supreme or subordinate, legislative, administrative, or judicial, is unpleasant to a man, especially if, in consideration of such its unpleasantness, his opinion is, that such act of power ought not to have been exercised, he of course looks upon it as oppression: as often as anything of this sort happens to a man—as often as anything happens to a man to inflame his passions,—this article, for fear his passions should not be sufficiently inflamed of themselves, sets itself to work to blow the flame, and urges him to resistance. Submit not to any decree or other act of power, of the justice of which you are not yourself perfectly convinced. If a constable call upon you to serve in the militia, shoot the constable and not the enemy;—if the commander of a press-gang trouble you, push him into the sea—if a bailiff, throw him out of the window. If a judge sentence you to be imprisoned or put to death, have a dagger ready, and take a stroke first at the judge.
** A Critical Examination of the Declaration of Rights

===''An Introduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation'' (1789; 1823)===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.econlib.org/library/Bentham/bnthPML.html Full text online (1823 edition)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Jeremy Bentham by Henry William Pickersgill.jpg|thumb|right|The day may come when the rest of the animal creation may acquire those rights which never could have been withholden from them but by the hand of tyranny. (...) The question is not Can they ''reason''?, nor Can they ''talk''?, but Can they ''suffer''?]]

* '''The principle of utility judges any action to be right by the tendency it appears to have to augment or diminish the happiness of the party whose interests are in question... if that party be the community the happiness of the community, if a particular individual, the happiness of that individual.'''
** Introduction (1789 edition)

* '''Nature has placed mankind under the governance of two sovereign masters, ''pain'' and ''pleasure.''  It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do.''' On the one hand the standard of right and wrong, on the other the chain of causes and effects, are fastened to their throne. They govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm it. In words a man may pretend to abjure their empire: but in reality he will remain subject to it all the while. The ''principle of utility'' recognizes this subjection, and assumes it for the foundation of that system, the object of which is to rear the fabric of felicity by the hands of reason and of law. Systems which attempt to question it, deal in sounds instead of sense, in caprice instead of reason, in darkness instead of light.
** Ch. 1: Of the Principle of Utility

*Intense, long, certain, speedy, fruitful, pure—&lt;br&gt;Such marks in pleasures and in pains endure.&lt;br&gt;Such pleasures seek if private be thy end:&lt;br&gt;If it be public, wide let them extend.&lt;br&gt;Such pains avoid, whichever be thy view:&lt;br&gt;If pains must come, let them extend to few.
** Ch. 4: Value of a Lot of Pleasure or Pain, How to be Measured

* The community is a fictitious ''body'', composed of the individual persons who are considered as constituting as it were its ''members''. The interest of the community then is what? The sum of the interests of the several members who compose it. 
** Ch. 1: Of the Principle of Utility

* '''[P]leasure is in ''itself'' a good; nay, even setting aside immunity from pain, the only good: pain is in itself an evil; and, indeed, without exception, the only evil'''; or else the words good and evil have no meaning. And this is alike true of every sort of pain, and of every sort of pleasure.
** Ch. 10: Of Motives

* '''[I]n principle and in practice, in a right track and in a wrong one, the rarest of all human qualities is consistency.'''
** Ch. 1: Of the Principle of Utility

* The day has been, I grieve to say in many places it is not yet past, in which the greater part of the species, under the denomination of slaves, have been treated by the law exactly upon the same footing as, in England for example, the inferior races of animals are still. '''The day ''may'' come when the rest of the animal creation may acquire those rights which never could have been withholden from them but by the hand of tyranny.''' The French have already discovered that the blackness of the skin is no reason why a human being should be abandoned without redress to the caprice of a tormentor. It may one day come to be recognized that the number of legs, the villosity of the skin, or the termination of the ''os sacrum'' are reasons equally insufficient for abandoning a sensitive being to the same fate. What else is it that should trace the insuperable line? Is it the faculty of reason, or perhaps the faculty of discourse? But a full-grown horse or dog is beyond comparison a more rational, as well as a more conversable animal, than an infant of a day or a week or even a month, old. But suppose they were otherwise, what would it avail? '''The question is not Can they ''reason''?, nor Can they ''talk''?, but Can they ''suffer?'''''
**Ch. 17: Of the Limits of the Penal Branch of Jurisprudence

* In looking over the catalogue of human actions (says a partizan of this principle) in order to determine which of them are to be marked with the seal of disapprobation, you need but to take counsel of your own feelings: whatever you find in yourself a propensity to condemn, is wrong for that very reason. For the same reason it is also meet for punishment: '''in what proportion it is adverse to utility, or whether it be adverse to utility at all, is a matter that makes no difference.''' In that same proportion also is it meet for punishment: if you hate much, punish much: if you hate little, punish little: punish as you hate. If you hate not at all, punish not at all: the fine feelings of the soul are not to be overborne and tyrannized by the harsh and rugged dictates of political utility.
** Ch. 2: Of Principles Adverse to That of Utility

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.
** Attributed to Bentham in ''The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations‎'' (1949) by Evan Esar, p. 29; no earlier sources for this have been located.
* All poetry is misrepresentation
** An Aphorism attributed to him according to John Stuart Mill (see Mill's essay ''On Bentham and Coleridge'' in Utilitarianism edt. by Mary Warnock p. 123).

{{disputed end}}

==Quotes about Bentham==
[[File:JohnStuartMill.jpg|thumb|Yet in the first pages of Bentham it burst upon me with all the force of novelty. What thus impressed me was the chapter in which Bentham passed judgment on the common modes of reasoning in morals and legislation, (...) and characterized them as dogmatism in disguise, imposing its sentiments upon others under cover of sounding expressions which convey no reason for the sentiment, but set up the sentiment as its own reason. It had not struck me before, that Bentham’s [[Utilitarianism|principle [of utility]]] put an end to all this. The feeling rushed upon me, that all previous moralists were superseded, and that here indeed was the commencement of a new era in thought.&lt;br&gt;~[[John Stuart Mill]]]]
[[File:Joshua Greene.png|thumb|The founding utilitarians, Bentham and Mill, were not just armchair philosophers. They were daring social reformers, intensely engaged with the social and political issues of their day. Indeed, many familiar social issues became social issues because Bentham and Mill made them so.&lt;br&gt;~ [[Joshua Greene]]]]

*A century ago it was perfectly well known that whoever had one audience of a Master in Chancery was made to pay for three, but no man heeded the enormity until it suggested to a young lawyer that it might be well to question and examine with rigorous suspicion every part of a system in which such things were done. The day on which that gleam lighted up the clear hard mind of Jeremy Bentham is memorable in the political calendar beyond the entire administration of many statesmen.&lt;!--p.3--&gt;
**[[John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton|Lord Acton]], &quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=F38MAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA3 The History of Freedom in Antiquity]&quot; (1877)

*Bentham is a denyer, he ''denies'' with a loud and universally convincing voice: his fault is that he can ''affirm'' nothing, except that money is pleasant in the purse and food in the stomach, and that by this simplest of all Beliefs he can reorganise Society.
**[[Thomas Carlyle]] to Macvey Napier (20 January 1831), quoted in Fred Kaplan, ''Thomas Carlyle: A Biography'' (1983), p. 158

*Jeremy Bentham opposed [[William Blackstone|Blackstone]] most bitterly... He made a critical attack on Blackstone's ''[[w:Commentaries on the Laws of England|Commentaries]]'' in a book called ''Fragment on Government''. He started it, I am sorry to say, when he was staying at my little town of Whitchurch in Hampshire – one of the few bad things to come out of it. But there, I never thought anything of Jeremy Bentham. He was the most pretentious person that ever lived. Like [[Archimedes]] in his bath, he cried &quot;Eureka!&quot; (I have found it) in 1768 when he discovered the phrase &quot;the greatest happiness of the greatest number&quot;. He regarded that – the philosophy of utilitarianism – as the solution for all legal problems as well as social cones. It solves nothing. He started many books but finished none of them. 
**[[Alfred Denning, Baron Denning|Lord Denning]], ''What Next in the Law'' (1982), p. 17

*[[Individualism]] as regards legislation is popularly, and not without reason, connected with the name and the principles of Bentham. The name of one man, it is true, can never adequately summarise a whole school of thought, but from 1825 onwards the teaching of Bentham exercised so potent an influence that to him is fairly ascribed that thorough-going though gradual amendment of the law of England which was one of the main results of the [[w:Reform Act 1832|Reform Act]].
**[[A. V. Dicey]], ''Lectures on the Relation between Law and Public Opinion'' (second edition, 1914; 2008), p. 91

* '''The founding utilitarians, Bentham and Mill, were not just armchair philosophers. They were daring social reformers, intensely engaged with the social and political issues of their day. Indeed, many familiar social issues became social issues because Bentham and Mill made them so.''' Their views were considered radical at the time, but today we take for granted most of the social reforms for which they fought. They were among the earliest opponents of slavery and advocates of free speech, free markets, widely available education, environmental protection, prison reform, women's rights, animal rights, gay rights, workers' rights, the right to divorce, and the separation of church and state.
**[[Joshua Greene]], ''Moral Tribes: Emotion, Reason, and the Gap Between Us and Them'' (2013), p. 155

*His primary concern was with neither psychology nor ethics, nor was it with &quot;political theory&quot;, but with the reform of existing laws by means of a science of law... Bentham considered that both the Common Law and the administration that Parliament was supposed to supervise were incoherent and antiquated, and that systematic examination and comprehensive overhaul were just precisely what were required... To a considerable degree Bentham was adopting towards the legal institutions of his own country much the attitude that the rationalist [[w:Philosophes|Philosophes]] were adopting towards the whole of the social institutions of France.
**[[w:Wilfrid Harrison|Wilfrid Harrison]], 'Introduction', Jeremy Bentham, ''A Fragment on Government and An Introduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation'' (1948), pp. xviii, xxiii

*Bentham and his [[Utilitarianism|Utilitarians]] did much to destroy the beliefs which England had in part preserved from the Middle Ages, by their scornful treatment of most of what until then had been the most admired features of the British constitution. And they introduced into Britain what had so far been entirely absent&amp;mdash;the desire to remake the whole of the law and institutions on rational principles.
**[[Friedrich Hayek]], ''[[The Constitution of Liberty]]'' (1960), p. 174

*I should emphasise that I am largely neglecting here the long history of this revolt, as well as the different turns it has taken in different lands. Long before [[Auguste Comte]] introduced the term  'positivism' for the view that represented a 'demonstrated ethics' (demonstrated by reason, that is) as the only possible alternative to a supernaturally 'revealed ethics' (1854:1, 356), Jeremy Bentham had developed the most consistent foundations of what we now call legal and moral positivism: that is, the constructivistic interpretation of systems of law and morals according to which their validity and meaning are supposed to depend wholly on the will and intention of their designers. Bentham is himself a late figure in this development. This constructivism includes not only the Benthamite tradition, represented and continued by [[John Stuart Mill]] and the later English Liberal Party, but also practically all contemporary Americans who call themselves 'liberals' (as opposed to some other very different thinkers, more often found in Europe, who are also called liberals, who are better called `old Whigs', and whose outstanding thinkers were Alexis de Tocqueville and Lord Acton). This constructivist way of thinking becomes virtually inevitable if, as an acute contemporary Swiss analyst suggests, one accepts the prevailing liberal (read 'socialist') philosophy that assumes that man, so far as the distinction between good and bad has any significance for him at all, must, and can, himself deliberately draw the line between them (Kirsch, 1981:17).
**[[Friedrich Hayek]], ''The Fatal Conceit'' (1988), Ch. 4: The Revolt of Instinct and Reason

*Mr. Bentham is very much among philosophers what La Fontaine was among poets:—in general habits and in all but his professional pursuits, he is a mere child. He has lived for the last forty years in a house in Westminster, overlooking the Park, like an anchoret in his cell, reducing law to a system, and the mind of man to a machine. He scarcely ever goes out, and sees very little company. The favoured few, who have the privilege of the entrée, are always admitted one by one.
**The Spirit of the Age by [[William Hazlitt]] 

* [Bentham] once said his ambition was to be “the most effectively benevolent man who ever lived.” He may well have been so.
** Mary Peter Mack, ''Jeremy Bentham'', [https://www.encyclopedia.com/people/philosophy-and-religion/philosophy-biographies/jeremy-bentham Encyclopedia.com] 

*It is perhaps fortunate that Mr. Bentham devoted a much greater share of his time and labour to the subject of legislation, than that of morals; for the mode in which he understood and applied the principle of Utility, appears to me far more conducive to true and valuable results in the former, than in the latter of these two branches of inquiry.
**[[John Stuart Mill]], &quot;Remarks on Bentham's Philosophy&quot; in [https://archive.org/details/englandenglish0000lytt/page/407/mode/1up Appendix B] of [[Edward Bulwer-Lytton]], ''England and the English'' (1833)

* If we were asked to say, in the fewest possible words, what we conceive to be Bentham’s place among these great intellectual benefactors of humanity; what he was, and what he was not; what kind of service he did and did not render to truth; we should say—'''he was not a great philosopher, but a great reformer in philosophy'''.
** [[John Stuart Mill]], Bentham, ''Dissertations and Discussions'', London, 1859

*The Benthamic standard of “the greatest happiness” was that which I had always been taught to apply; I was even familiar with an abstract discussion of it, forming an episode in an unpublished dialogue on Government, written by my father on the Platonic model. Yet in the first pages of Bentham it burst upon me with all the force of novelty. What thus impressed me was the chapter in which Bentham passed judgment on the common modes of reasoning in morals and legislation, deduced from phrases like “law of nature,” “right reason,” “the moral sense,” “natural rectitude,” and the like, and characterized them as dogmatism in disguise, imposing its sentiments upon others under cover of sounding expressions which convey no reason for the sentiment, but set up the sentiment as its own reason. '''It had not struck me before, that Bentham’s principle [of utility] put an end to all this. The feeling rushed upon me, that all previous moralists were superseded, and that here indeed was the commencement of a new era in thought.'''
**[[John Stuart Mill]], ''Autobiography'' (1873), Ch. 3: Last Stage of Education and First of Self-Education.

*In their time, Bentham's ideas promoted [[progress]], reform, wider [[democracy]], and the amelioration of undesirable social conditions. Bentham lived... when common people, the &quot;labouring poor,&quot; had little voice and no vote... Their toil and sacrifices enhanced the power of the nation, the glory of its rulers, the wealth of industrialists and merchants, and the indolent ease of the aristocrats. Yet here was a philosopher who said that people are people regardless of their social position. ...[L]egislators ought actively to augment the total happiness of the community. Instead of the people serving the state, the state should serve the people. ...[H]is slogan for government was &quot;Be quiet.&quot; But he did not worship [[laissez-faire]] as a principle to be accepted blindly. ...[T]he state should monopolize the issue of paper money, thereby saving interest on its borrowing. It should... operate [[w:Life insurance|life]] and [[w:Life annuity|annuity insurance]], and tax inheritance, monopolies, [etc.] ...Bentham's idea of [[w:Marginal utility#Diminishing marginal utility|diminishing marginal utility]] of money suggested an argument for the [[Redistribution of income and wealth|redistribution of income]]. ...[M]ore happiness will be gained by the poor person than will be lost by the wealthy one. ...Bentham's devotion to the [[Utilitarianism|greatest good for the greatest number]] led him to... advocate for.. democratic reforms. He supported universal (male) suffrage, equal electoral districts, annual parliaments, and the secret ballot. He opposed the [[monarchy]] and the {{w|House of Lords}}, arguing that only in a democracy do the interest of the governors and the governed become identical. ...Bentham urged a system of national education, even for pauper children. Frugality Banks... should... stimulate saving by the poor. {{w|Public works}} should provide jobs for [[Unemployment|unemployed]] workers during slack times. ...He designed ...a model [[prison]] that would [[w:Prison reform|reform criminals]] rather than punish them. No wonder Bentham and his circle of intellects (including [[James Mill]], [[John Stuart Mill]], and [[David Ricardo|Ricardo]]) were called &quot;philosophic radicals.&quot;
**Jacob Oser, Stanley L. Brue, ''The Evolution of Economic Thought'' (1963, 1988) 4th edition, pp. 122-123

*The Reformers had been in the unhappy position of not having brains enough for their programme. Bentham supplied them. He classified and (inevitably) systematized the vapourings of [[w:Francis Burdett|Burdett]] and the nebulous projects of [[w:John Cartwright (political reformer)|Cartwright]]. Bentham took the Burdettite catchwords of the day and gave them meaning: he redeemed the cause of democracy by providing it with a basis of reasoned theory. The sole clue to political conduct, he held, was Interest. What wonder, then, if [[Whigs (British political party)|Whigs]] and [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tories]] were indistinguishable, since their interests were identical? The country was being governed by a minority for the partial interests of a minority: was not that the very definition of corruption? Corruption...was a system, it was a political theory, it was the whole government of England. Aristocracy as a form of government was itself an intolerable grievance... He based his democracy not on political considerations, but on the fundamental tag of the &quot;greatest happiness of the greatest number&quot;. He gave Reform an irresistible catchword: he opened up a new and impugnable line of argument... Bentham gave the Reform movement a much-needed intellectual fillip. Through [[James Mill|Mill]], in the ''[[w:Edinburgh Review|Edinburgh Review]]'', he reached the genteel establishments: through [[w:Francis Place|Place]], he stiffened the people.
**[[w:Michael Roberts (historian)|Michael Roberts]], ''The Whig Party, 1807–1812'' (1939), pp. 261-263, 265

*Ethical hedonism was originally tied to psychological hedonism about human motivation. Bentham assumed that all humans are basically and exclusively motivated by the desire to gain pleasure and avoid pain, but it is possible to maintain ethical hedonism while rejecting, as most present utilitarians are inclined to do, psychological hedonism. However, certain later and contemporary versions of utilitarianism broaden the notion of ethical hedonism so that human or personal good is understood to be constituted by whatever satisfies people's desires or preferences or makes people happy.
**[[w:Michael Slote|Michael Slote]], in the article on [http://www.mywire.com/a/Oxford-Companion-Philosophy/utilitarianism/9566219/ Utilitarianism in ''The Oxford Companion to Philosophy'' (1995)] edited by [[w: Ted Honderich| Ted Honderich]], p. 890

*For as a hedonist, Bentham apparently bases moral status not on the dignity of rational nature but rather solely on the capacity to feel pleasure and pain. And this is clearly different from the Kantian position. Yet I claim that Bentham’s idea here is in general terms not inconsistent with Kantian ethics but is instead a corollary of the Kantian position. I would even claim that Kantian ethics provides a better justification for it than Bentham’s hedonism–a shallow empiricist doctrine that cannot account properly even for the values it assigns to pleasure and pain in human beings.&lt;br&gt;[…] Nonhuman animals do not have the capacity to reason or to talk. Therefore, beyond making the obvious point that they are not persons in the strict sense, whether they have or lack these capacities is irrelevant to how we should treat them. Bentham is therefore correct in telling us not to ask about these matters when we are deciding how to treat animals. What is relevant, because it relates their capacities to those of rational nature, is the fact that they can suffer, and desire, and sometimes also care – about members of their own species, or even occasionally about members of other species, such as humans. Bentham is therefore also correct in telling us what we should ask about these capacities, for they are the relevant ones. Bentham is correct, however, not because [[Immanuel Kant|Kant]] is wrong, but because Kant is right.
**[[Allen W. Wood]], ''Kantian Ethics'' (2008), Ch. 5. Humanity

== See also ==
{{Social and political philosophers}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikisource author|Jeremy Bentham}}
{{commons}}
* [http://www.utm.edu/research/iep/b/bentham.htm Profile in ''The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy'']
* [https://www.utilitarianism.net/utilitarian-thinker/jeremy-bentham Jeremy Bentham], biographical profile, including quotes and further resources in [https://www.utilitarianism.net/ Introduction to Utilitarianism: An Online Textbook]
* [https://oll.libertyfund.org/person/jeremy-bentham Online Library of Liberty - Jeremy Bentham]
* [http://www.ucl.ac.uk/Bentham-Project/ The Bentham Project] at University College London. Includes a [http://www.ucl.ac.uk/Bentham-Project/who/autoicon history] of the Auto-Icon, [http://www.ucl.ac.uk/Bentham-Project/tools/neologisms Neologisms of Jeremy Bentham] (words he created, including international, maximize and minimize), and details of Bentham's will.
* [http://socserv.mcmaster.ca/econ/ugcm/3ll3/bentham/ Bentham Index]
* [http://utilitarian.net/bentham Jeremy Bentham at Utilitarian.net]
* [http://jeromekahn123.tripod.com/utilitarianismtheethicaltheoryforalltimes/id4.html Jeremy Bentham's Life and Impact]
* [http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02482b.htm Benthamism in ''The Catholic Encyclopedia'']
* [http://www.livingphilosophy.org.uk/philosophy/Jeremy_Bentham/ &quot;Jeremy Bentham at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2007&quot;]
* [http://www.ditext.com/bentham/bentham.html &quot;Critique of the Doctrine of Inalienable, Natural Rights&quot; in '' Anarchical Fallacies'']
* [http://librivox.org/offences-against-ones-self-paederasty-by-jeremy-bentham/ &quot;Offences Against One's Self: Paederasty&quot;, c. 1785, free audiobook from LibriVox]

{{Classical economists}}

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      <text bytes="38778" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Jeremy_Bentham_by_Henry_William_Pickersgill_detail.jpg|thumb|right|The [[greatest]] [[happiness]] of the greatest [[number]] is the foundation of [[morals]] and [[legislation]].]]
'''[[w:Jeremy Bentham|Jeremy Bentham]]''' ([[15 February]] [[1748]] – [[6 June]] [[1832]]) was a British gentleman, jurist, philosopher, and legal and social reformer. He is best known as an early advocate of [[utilitarianism]] and [[animal rights]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Jeremy Bentham by Thomas Frye.jpg|thumb|right| [[Nature]] has placed [[mankind]] under the governance of two sovereign masters, ''[[pain]]'' and ''[[pleasure]]''. It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do.]]

* [[Joseph Priestley|Priestley]] was the first (unless it was [[w:Cesare Beccaria|Beccaria]]) who taught my lips to pronounce this sacred [[truth]] — that '''the [[greatest]] [[happiness]] of the greatest number is the foundation of [[morals]] and legislation.'''
** &quot;Extracts from Bentham's Commonplace Book&quot;, in ''Collected Works'', x, p. 142; He credits Priestley in his ''[[w:Essay on the First Principles of Government|Essay on the First Principles of Government]]'' (1768) or Beccaria with inspiring his use of the phrase, often paraphrased as &quot;'''The greatest good for the greatest number'''&quot;, but the statement &quot;the greatest happiness for the greatest number&quot; actually originates with [[w:Francis Hutcheson (philosopher)|Francis Hutcheson]], in his ''Inquiry concerning Moral Good and Evil'' (1725), sect. 3. In an unpublished manuscript on utilitarianism, written for [[James Mill]], Bentham later criticized this formulation: &quot;'''Greatest happiness ''of the greatest number.'' Some years have now elapsed since, upon a closer scrutiny, reason, altogether incontestable, was found for discarding this appendage. On the surface, additional clearness and [[correctness]] given to the idea: at bottom, the opposite qualities.''' Be the community in question what it may, divide it into two unequal parts, call one of them the majority, the other the minority, lay out of the account the feelings of the minority, include in the account no feelings but those of the majority, '''the result you will find is that to the aggregate stock of happiness of the community, loss not profit is the result of the operation.''' Of this proposition the truth will be the more palpable, the greater the ratio of the number of the minority to that of the majority: in other words, the less difference between the two unequal parts: and suppose the condivident part equal, the quantity of the error will then be at its maximum.&quot; — as quoted in ''The Collected Works of Jeremy Bentham: Deontology ...'' (1983) edited by Amnon Goldworth, p. 309;

* '''Create [[all]] the [[happiness]] you are able to create: remove all the [[misery]] you are able to remove.''' Every day will allow you to add something to the [[pleasure]] of others, or to diminish something of their [[pains]]. And for every grain of enjoyment you sow in the bosom of another, you shall find a harvest in your own bosom; while every [[sorrow]] which you pluck out from the [[thoughts]] and [[feelings]] of a fellow creature shall be replaced by beautiful [[peace]] and [[joy]] in the sanctuary of your [[soul]].
** Advice to a young girl (22 June 1830)

* To what shall the character of utility be ascribed, if not to that which is a source of pleasure?
** ''Théorie des peines et des récompenses'' (1811); translation by Richard Smith, ''The Rationale of Reward'', J. &amp; H. L. Hunt, London, 1825, Bk. 3, Ch. 1

*It is part of a work to which if ever it should be completed I intend to give some such title as Principles of Legal Policy; the object of it is to trace out a new model for the Laws: of my own country you may imagine, in the first place: but keeping those of other countries all along in view. To ascertain what the Laws ought to be, in form and tenor as well as in matter: and that elsewhere as well as here. All that I shall say to recommend it to you is that I have taken counsel of you much oftener than of our own Ld. [[Edward Coke|Coke]] and [[w:Matthew Hale (jurist)|Hale]] and [[William Blackstone|Blackstone]]. The repose of [[Grotius]] and [[w:Samuel von Pufendorf|Puffendorf]] and [[w:Jean Barbeyrac|Barbeyrac]] and [[w:Jean-Jacques Burlamaqui|Burlamaqui]] I would never wish to see disturbed. I have built solely on the foundation of utility, laid as it is by [[w:Claude Adrien Helvétius|Helvetius]]. Becarria has been ''lucrative pedibus'', or if you please ''manibus, meis''.
**Letter to [[Voltaire]] (''c''. November 1776), quoted in Timothy L. S. Sprigge (ed.), ''The Correspondence of Jeremy Bentham'' (2017), p. 367

* It is the principle of antipathy which leads us to speak of offences as ''deserving'' punishment. It is the corresponding principle of sympathy which leads us to speak of certain actions as ''meriting'' reward. This word ''merit'' can only lead to passion and error. '''It is ''effects'' good or bad which we ought alone to consider.'''
** ''MSS'' 29, 32, University College Collection

* Want keeps pace with dignity. Destitute of the [[lawful]] means of supporting his rank, his dignity presents a motive for malversation, and his [[power]] furnishes the means.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=W2lYAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA246&amp;dq=malversation&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=TQlHTKuqHYfJnAespJjOBA&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=28&amp;ved=0CKsBEOgBMBs4ZA#v=onepage&amp;q=malversation&amp;f=false The Rationale of Reward (1811)]

[[File:Jeremy Bentham embalmed - geograph.org.uk - 221062.jpg|thumb|right| [[Judges]] of elegance and [[taste]] consider themselves as benefactors to the [[human]] race, whilst they are really only the interrupters of their [[pleasure]]…]]
* '''Judges of elegance and taste consider themselves as benefactors to the human race, whilst they are really only the interrupters of their pleasure''' … There is no taste which deserves the epithet ''good'', unless it be the taste for such employments which, to the pleasure actually produced by them, conjoin some contingent or future utility: there is no taste which deserves to be characterized as bad, unless it be a taste for some occupation which has mischievous tendency.
** ''Théorie des peines et des récompenses'' (1811); translation by Richard Smith, ''The Rationale of Reward'', J. &amp; H. L. Hunt, London, 1825, Bk. 3, Ch. 1

*Ah! when will the yoke of ''Custom''—Custom, the blind tyrant, of which all other tyrants make their slave—ah! when will that misery-perpetuating yoke be shaken off?—when, when will ''Reason'' be seated on her throne?
**''Plan of Parliamentary Reform, in the Form of a Catechism, with Reasons for Each Article: With an Introduction, Showing the Necessity of Radical, and the Inadequacy of Moderate, Reform'' (1817), quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Part X'' (1839), p. 495

*Figure to yourself the mixture of surprise and delight which has this instant been poured into my mind by the sound of my name, as uttered by you, in the speech just read to me out of the ''Morning Herald''... By one and the same man, not only [[w:Reform Bills|Parliamentary Reform]], but [[w:Law reform|Law Reform]] advocated. Advocated? and by what man? By one who, in the vulgar sense of profit and loss, has nothing to gain by it... Yes, only from [[Ireland]] could such self-sacrifice come; nowhere else: least of all in [[England]], cold, selfish, priest-ridden, lawyer-ridden, lord-ridden, squire-ridden, soldier-ridden England, could any approach to it be found.
**Letter to [[Daniel O'Connell]] (15 July 1828) after O'Connell delivered a speech in the House of Commons in which he advocated parliamentary and legal reform, and ended by calling himself &quot;an humble disciple of the immortal Bentham&quot;, quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Vol. X'' (1843), pp. 594-595

*[I am] at heart more of a United-States-man than an Englishman.
**Letter to [[Andrew Jackson]] (14 June 1830), quoted in ''Correspondence of Andrew Jackson, Volume 4'', ed. David Maydole Matteson (1929), p. 146

* Liberty therefore not being more fit than other words in some of the instances in which it has been used, and not so fit in others, the less the use that is made of it the better. I would no more use the word liberty in my conversation when I could get another that would answer the purpose, than I would brandy in my diet, if my physician did not order me: both cloud the understanding and inflame the passions.
** Jeremy Bentham, quoted in P. J. Kelly, ''Utilitarianism and Distributive Justice: Jeremy Bentham and the Civil Law'', Oxford, 1990, p. 96

[[File:Jeremy Bentham Auto-Icon.jpg|thumb|right|Every [[law]] is an [[evil]], for every law is an infraction of [[liberty]]: And I repeat that [[government]] has but a [[choice]] of evils…]]
* It is with government, as with medicine. They have both but a choice of evils. '''Every law is an evil, for every law is an infraction of liberty: And I repeat that government has but a choice of evils''': In making this choice, what ought to be the object of the legislator? '''He ought to assure himself of two things; 1st, that in every case, the incidents which he tries to prevent are really evils; and 2ndly, that if evils, they are greater than those which he employs to prevent them.''' &lt;br&gt; There are then two things to be regarded; the evil of the offence and the evil of the law; the evil of the malady and the evil of the remedy. &lt;br&gt; An evil comes rarely alone. A lot of evil cannot well fall upon an individual without spreading itself about him, as about a common centre. In the course of its progress we see it take different shapes: '''we see evil of one kind issue from evil of another kind; evil proceed from good and good from evil. All these changes, it is important to know and to distinguish; in this, in fact, consists the essence of legislation.'''
** ''Principles of Legislation'' (1830), Ch. X : Analysis of Political Good and Evil; How they are spread in society

*Rights are, then, the fruits of the law, and of the law alone. There are no rights without law—no rights contrary to the law—no rights anterior to the law. Before the existence of laws there may be reasons for wishing that there were laws—and doubtless such reasons cannot be wanting, and those of the strongest kind;—but a reason for wishing that we possessed a right, does not constitute a right. To confound the existence of a reason for wishing that we possessed a right, with the existence of the right itself, is to confound the existence of a want with the means of relieving it. It is the same as if one should say, ''everybody is subject to hunger, therefore everybody has something to eat''.
**''Pannomial Fragments'' (''c''. 1831), quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Vol. III'' (1838), p. 221

*[O]f corruption, the principal and direct use is, to engage the representatives of the people to betray their trust, and sell themselves and the people to the universal corrupter—the monarch, in his capacity of corrupter-general.
**''Constitutional Code'' (written between 1820 and 1832), quoted in ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham, Vol. XVII'' (1841), p. 76

* '''Prose is when all the lines except the last go on to the end. Poetry is when some of them fall short of it.'''
** As quoted in ''Life of [[John Stuart Mill]]'' (1954) by M. St.J. Packe, Bk. I, Ch. II

* Secrecy is an instrument of conspiracy; it ought not, therefore, to be the system of a regular government.
** ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=AusJAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=&amp;quot;Secresy+is+an+instrument+of+conspiracy+it+ought+not+therefore+to+be+the+system+of+a+regular+government&amp;quot;&amp;pg=PA315#v=onepage On Publicity]'' from ''The Works of Jeremy Bentham'' volume 2, part 2 (1839)

=== ''Anarchical Fallacies'' (1843) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/bentham-the-works-of-jeremy-bentham-vol-2 ''Anarchical Fallacies; Being an Examination of the Declarations of Rights Issued During the French Revolution'']&lt;/small&gt;

* '''That which has no existence cannot be destroyed — that which cannot be destroyed cannot require anything to preserve it from destruction. Natural rights is simple nonsense: natural and imprescriptible rights, rhetorical nonsense — nonsense upon stilts.''' But this rhetorical nonsense ends in the old strain of mischievous nonsense for immediately a list of these pretended natural rights is given, and those are so expressed as to present to view legal rights. And of these rights, whatever they are, there is not, it seems, any one of which any government can, upon any occasion whatever, abrogate the smallest particle.
** A Critical Examination of the Declaration of Rights

* Whenever you are about to be oppressed, you have a right to resist oppression: whenever you conceive yourself to be oppressed, conceive yourself to have a right to make resistance, and act accordingly. In proportion as a law of any kind—any act of power, supreme or subordinate, legislative, administrative, or judicial, is unpleasant to a man, especially if, in consideration of such its unpleasantness, his opinion is, that such act of power ought not to have been exercised, he of course looks upon it as oppression: as often as anything of this sort happens to a man—as often as anything happens to a man to inflame his passions,—this article, for fear his passions should not be sufficiently inflamed of themselves, sets itself to work to blow the flame, and urges him to resistance. Submit not to any decree or other act of power, of the justice of which you are not yourself perfectly convinced. If a constable call upon you to serve in the militia, shoot the constable and not the enemy;—if the commander of a press-gang trouble you, push him into the sea—if a bailiff, throw him out of the window. If a judge sentence you to be imprisoned or put to death, have a dagger ready, and take a stroke first at the judge.
** A Critical Examination of the Declaration of Rights

===''An Introduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation'' (1789; 1823)===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.econlib.org/library/Bentham/bnthPML.html Full text online (1823 edition)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Jeremy Bentham by Henry William Pickersgill.jpg|thumb|right|The day may come when the rest of the animal creation may acquire those rights which never could have been withholden from them but by the hand of tyranny. (...) The question is not Can they ''reason''?, nor Can they ''talk''?, but Can they ''suffer''?]]

* '''The principle of utility judges any action to be right by the tendency it appears to have to augment or diminish the happiness of the party whose interests are in question... if that party be the community the happiness of the community, if a particular individual, the happiness of that individual.'''
** Introduction (1789 edition)

* '''Nature has placed mankind under the governance of two sovereign masters, ''pain'' and ''pleasure.''  It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do.''' On the one hand the standard of right and wrong, on the other the chain of causes and effects, are fastened to their throne. They govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm it. In words a man may pretend to abjure their empire: but in reality he will remain subject to it all the while. The ''principle of utility'' recognizes this subjection, and assumes it for the foundation of that system, the object of which is to rear the fabric of felicity by the hands of reason and of law. Systems which attempt to question it, deal in sounds instead of sense, in caprice instead of reason, in darkness instead of light.
** Ch. 1: Of the Principle of Utility

*Intense, long, certain, speedy, fruitful, pure—&lt;br&gt;Such marks in pleasures and in pains endure.&lt;br&gt;Such pleasures seek if private be thy end:&lt;br&gt;If it be public, wide let them extend.&lt;br&gt;Such pains avoid, whichever be thy view:&lt;br&gt;If pains must come, let them extend to few.
** Ch. 4: Value of a Lot of Pleasure or Pain, How to be Measured

* The community is a fictitious ''body'', composed of the individual persons who are considered as constituting as it were its ''members''. The interest of the community then is what? The sum of the interests of the several members who compose it. 
** Ch. 1: Of the Principle of Utility

* '''[P]leasure is in ''itself'' a good; nay, even setting aside immunity from pain, the only good: pain is in itself an evil; and, indeed, without exception, the only evil'''; or else the words good and evil have no meaning. And this is alike true of every sort of pain, and of every sort of pleasure.
** Ch. 10: Of Motives

* '''[I]n principle and in practice, in a right track and in a wrong one, the rarest of all human qualities is consistency.'''
** Ch. 1: Of the Principle of Utility

* The day has been, I grieve to say in many places it is not yet past, in which the greater part of the species, under the denomination of slaves, have been treated by the law exactly upon the same footing as, in England for example, the inferior races of animals are still. '''The day ''may'' come when the rest of the animal creation may acquire those rights which never could have been withholden from them but by the hand of tyranny.''' The French have already discovered that the blackness of the skin is no reason why a human being should be abandoned without redress to the caprice of a tormentor. It may one day come to be recognized that the number of legs, the villosity of the skin, or the termination of the ''os sacrum'' are reasons equally insufficient for abandoning a sensitive being to the same fate. What else is it that should trace the insuperable line? Is it the faculty of reason, or perhaps the faculty of discourse? But a full-grown horse or dog is beyond comparison a more rational, as well as a more conversable animal, than an infant of a day or a week or even a month, old. But suppose they were otherwise, what would it avail? '''The question is not Can they ''reason''?, nor Can they ''talk''?, but Can they ''suffer?'''''
**Ch. 17: Of the Limits of the Penal Branch of Jurisprudence

* In looking over the catalogue of human actions (says a partizan of this principle) in order to determine which of them are to be marked with the seal of disapprobation, you need but to take counsel of your own feelings: whatever you find in yourself a propensity to condemn, is wrong for that very reason. For the same reason it is also meet for punishment: '''in what proportion it is adverse to utility, or whether it be adverse to utility at all, is a matter that makes no difference.''' In that same proportion also is it meet for punishment: if you hate much, punish much: if you hate little, punish little: punish as you hate. If you hate not at all, punish not at all: the fine feelings of the soul are not to be overborne and tyrannized by the harsh and rugged dictates of political utility.
** Ch. 2: Of Principles Adverse to That of Utility

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.
** Attributed to Bentham in ''The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations‎'' (1949) by Evan Esar, p. 29; no earlier sources for this have been located.
* All poetry is misrepresentation
** An Aphorism attributed to him according to John Stuart Mill (see Mill's essay ''On Bentham and Coleridge'' in Utilitarianism edt. by Mary Warnock p. 123).

{{disputed end}}

==Quotes about Bentham==
[[File:JohnStuartMill.jpg|thumb|Yet in the first pages of Bentham it burst upon me with all the force of novelty. What thus impressed me was the chapter in which Bentham passed judgment on the common modes of reasoning in morals and legislation, (...) and characterized them as dogmatism in disguise, imposing its sentiments upon others under cover of sounding expressions which convey no reason for the sentiment, but set up the sentiment as its own reason. It had not struck me before, that Bentham’s [[Utilitarianism|principle [of utility]]] put an end to all this. The feeling rushed upon me, that all previous moralists were superseded, and that here indeed was the commencement of a new era in thought.&lt;br&gt;~[[John Stuart Mill]]]]
[[File:Joshua Greene.png|thumb|The founding utilitarians, Bentham and Mill, were not just armchair philosophers. They were daring social reformers, intensely engaged with the social and political issues of their day. Indeed, many familiar social issues became social issues because Bentham and Mill made them so.&lt;br&gt;~ [[Joshua Greene]]]]

*A century ago it was perfectly well known that whoever had one audience of a Master in Chancery was made to pay for three, but no man heeded the enormity until it suggested to a young lawyer that it might be well to question and examine with rigorous suspicion every part of a system in which such things were done. The day on which that gleam lighted up the clear hard mind of Jeremy Bentham is memorable in the political calendar beyond the entire administration of many statesmen.&lt;!--p.3--&gt;
**[[John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton|Lord Acton]], &quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=F38MAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA3 The History of Freedom in Antiquity]&quot; (1877)

*Bentham is a denyer, he ''denies'' with a loud and universally convincing voice: his fault is that he can ''affirm'' nothing, except that money is pleasant in the purse and food in the stomach, and that by this simplest of all Beliefs he can reorganise Society.
**[[Thomas Carlyle]] to Macvey Napier (20 January 1831), quoted in Fred Kaplan, ''Thomas Carlyle: A Biography'' (1983), p. 158

*Jeremy Bentham opposed [[William Blackstone|Blackstone]] most bitterly... He made a critical attack on Blackstone's ''[[w:Commentaries on the Laws of England|Commentaries]]'' in a book called ''Fragment on Government''. He started it, I am sorry to say, when he was staying at my little town of Whitchurch in Hampshire – one of the few bad things to come out of it. But there, I never thought anything of Jeremy Bentham. He was the most pretentious person that ever lived. Like [[Archimedes]] in his bath, he cried &quot;Eureka!&quot; (I have found it) in 1768 when he discovered the phrase &quot;the greatest happiness of the greatest number&quot;. He regarded that – the philosophy of utilitarianism – as the solution for all legal problems as well as social ones. It solves nothing. He started many books but finished none of them. 
**[[Alfred Denning, Baron Denning|Lord Denning]], ''What Next in the Law'' (1982), p. 17

*[[Individualism]] as regards legislation is popularly, and not without reason, connected with the name and the principles of Bentham. The name of one man, it is true, can never adequately summarise a whole school of thought, but from 1825 onwards the teaching of Bentham exercised so potent an influence that to him is fairly ascribed that thorough-going though gradual amendment of the law of England which was one of the main results of the [[w:Reform Act 1832|Reform Act]].
**[[A. V. Dicey]], ''Lectures on the Relation between Law and Public Opinion'' (second edition, 1914; 2008), p. 91

* '''The founding utilitarians, Bentham and Mill, were not just armchair philosophers. They were daring social reformers, intensely engaged with the social and political issues of their day. Indeed, many familiar social issues became social issues because Bentham and Mill made them so.''' Their views were considered radical at the time, but today we take for granted most of the social reforms for which they fought. They were among the earliest opponents of slavery and advocates of free speech, free markets, widely available education, environmental protection, prison reform, women's rights, animal rights, gay rights, workers' rights, the right to divorce, and the separation of church and state.
**[[Joshua Greene]], ''Moral Tribes: Emotion, Reason, and the Gap Between Us and Them'' (2013), p. 155

*His primary concern was with neither psychology nor ethics, nor was it with &quot;political theory&quot;, but with the reform of existing laws by means of a science of law... Bentham considered that both the Common Law and the administration that Parliament was supposed to supervise were incoherent and antiquated, and that systematic examination and comprehensive overhaul were just precisely what were required... To a considerable degree Bentham was adopting towards the legal institutions of his own country much the attitude that the rationalist [[w:Philosophes|Philosophes]] were adopting towards the whole of the social institutions of France.
**[[w:Wilfrid Harrison|Wilfrid Harrison]], 'Introduction', Jeremy Bentham, ''A Fragment on Government and An Introduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation'' (1948), pp. xviii, xxiii

*Bentham and his [[Utilitarianism|Utilitarians]] did much to destroy the beliefs which England had in part preserved from the Middle Ages, by their scornful treatment of most of what until then had been the most admired features of the British constitution. And they introduced into Britain what had so far been entirely absent&amp;mdash;the desire to remake the whole of the law and institutions on rational principles.
**[[Friedrich Hayek]], ''[[The Constitution of Liberty]]'' (1960), p. 174

*I should emphasise that I am largely neglecting here the long history of this revolt, as well as the different turns it has taken in different lands. Long before [[Auguste Comte]] introduced the term  'positivism' for the view that represented a 'demonstrated ethics' (demonstrated by reason, that is) as the only possible alternative to a supernaturally 'revealed ethics' (1854:1, 356), Jeremy Bentham had developed the most consistent foundations of what we now call legal and moral positivism: that is, the constructivistic interpretation of systems of law and morals according to which their validity and meaning are supposed to depend wholly on the will and intention of their designers. Bentham is himself a late figure in this development. This constructivism includes not only the Benthamite tradition, represented and continued by [[John Stuart Mill]] and the later English Liberal Party, but also practically all contemporary Americans who call themselves 'liberals' (as opposed to some other very different thinkers, more often found in Europe, who are also called liberals, who are better called `old Whigs', and whose outstanding thinkers were Alexis de Tocqueville and Lord Acton). This constructivist way of thinking becomes virtually inevitable if, as an acute contemporary Swiss analyst suggests, one accepts the prevailing liberal (read 'socialist') philosophy that assumes that man, so far as the distinction between good and bad has any significance for him at all, must, and can, himself deliberately draw the line between them (Kirsch, 1981:17).
**[[Friedrich Hayek]], ''The Fatal Conceit'' (1988), Ch. 4: The Revolt of Instinct and Reason

*Mr. Bentham is very much among philosophers what La Fontaine was among poets:—in general habits and in all but his professional pursuits, he is a mere child. He has lived for the last forty years in a house in Westminster, overlooking the Park, like an anchoret in his cell, reducing law to a system, and the mind of man to a machine. He scarcely ever goes out, and sees very little company. The favoured few, who have the privilege of the entrée, are always admitted one by one.
**The Spirit of the Age by [[William Hazlitt]] 

* [Bentham] once said his ambition was to be “the most effectively benevolent man who ever lived.” He may well have been so.
** Mary Peter Mack, ''Jeremy Bentham'', [https://www.encyclopedia.com/people/philosophy-and-religion/philosophy-biographies/jeremy-bentham Encyclopedia.com] 

*It is perhaps fortunate that Mr. Bentham devoted a much greater share of his time and labour to the subject of legislation, than that of morals; for the mode in which he understood and applied the principle of Utility, appears to me far more conducive to true and valuable results in the former, than in the latter of these two branches of inquiry.
**[[John Stuart Mill]], &quot;Remarks on Bentham's Philosophy&quot; in [https://archive.org/details/englandenglish0000lytt/page/407/mode/1up Appendix B] of [[Edward Bulwer-Lytton]], ''England and the English'' (1833)

* If we were asked to say, in the fewest possible words, what we conceive to be Bentham’s place among these great intellectual benefactors of humanity; what he was, and what he was not; what kind of service he did and did not render to truth; we should say—'''he was not a great philosopher, but a great reformer in philosophy'''.
** [[John Stuart Mill]], Bentham, ''Dissertations and Discussions'', London, 1859

*The Benthamic standard of “the greatest happiness” was that which I had always been taught to apply; I was even familiar with an abstract discussion of it, forming an episode in an unpublished dialogue on Government, written by my father on the Platonic model. Yet in the first pages of Bentham it burst upon me with all the force of novelty. What thus impressed me was the chapter in which Bentham passed judgment on the common modes of reasoning in morals and legislation, deduced from phrases like “law of nature,” “right reason,” “the moral sense,” “natural rectitude,” and the like, and characterized them as dogmatism in disguise, imposing its sentiments upon others under cover of sounding expressions which convey no reason for the sentiment, but set up the sentiment as its own reason. '''It had not struck me before, that Bentham’s principle [of utility] put an end to all this. The feeling rushed upon me, that all previous moralists were superseded, and that here indeed was the commencement of a new era in thought.'''
**[[John Stuart Mill]], ''Autobiography'' (1873), Ch. 3: Last Stage of Education and First of Self-Education.

*In their time, Bentham's ideas promoted [[progress]], reform, wider [[democracy]], and the amelioration of undesirable social conditions. Bentham lived... when common people, the &quot;labouring poor,&quot; had little voice and no vote... Their toil and sacrifices enhanced the power of the nation, the glory of its rulers, the wealth of industrialists and merchants, and the indolent ease of the aristocrats. Yet here was a philosopher who said that people are people regardless of their social position. ...[L]egislators ought actively to augment the total happiness of the community. Instead of the people serving the state, the state should serve the people. ...[H]is slogan for government was &quot;Be quiet.&quot; But he did not worship [[laissez-faire]] as a principle to be accepted blindly. ...[T]he state should monopolize the issue of paper money, thereby saving interest on its borrowing. It should... operate [[w:Life insurance|life]] and [[w:Life annuity|annuity insurance]], and tax inheritance, monopolies, [etc.] ...Bentham's idea of [[w:Marginal utility#Diminishing marginal utility|diminishing marginal utility]] of money suggested an argument for the [[Redistribution of income and wealth|redistribution of income]]. ...[M]ore happiness will be gained by the poor person than will be lost by the wealthy one. ...Bentham's devotion to the [[Utilitarianism|greatest good for the greatest number]] led him to... advocate for.. democratic reforms. He supported universal (male) suffrage, equal electoral districts, annual parliaments, and the secret ballot. He opposed the [[monarchy]] and the {{w|House of Lords}}, arguing that only in a democracy do the interest of the governors and the governed become identical. ...Bentham urged a system of national education, even for pauper children. Frugality Banks... should... stimulate saving by the poor. {{w|Public works}} should provide jobs for [[Unemployment|unemployed]] workers during slack times. ...He designed ...a model [[prison]] that would [[w:Prison reform|reform criminals]] rather than punish them. No wonder Bentham and his circle of intellects (including [[James Mill]], [[John Stuart Mill]], and [[David Ricardo|Ricardo]]) were called &quot;philosophic radicals.&quot;
**Jacob Oser, Stanley L. Brue, ''The Evolution of Economic Thought'' (1963, 1988) 4th edition, pp. 122-123

*The Reformers had been in the unhappy position of not having brains enough for their programme. Bentham supplied them. He classified and (inevitably) systematized the vapourings of [[w:Francis Burdett|Burdett]] and the nebulous projects of [[w:John Cartwright (political reformer)|Cartwright]]. Bentham took the Burdettite catchwords of the day and gave them meaning: he redeemed the cause of democracy by providing it with a basis of reasoned theory. The sole clue to political conduct, he held, was Interest. What wonder, then, if [[Whigs (British political party)|Whigs]] and [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tories]] were indistinguishable, since their interests were identical? The country was being governed by a minority for the partial interests of a minority: was not that the very definition of corruption? Corruption...was a system, it was a political theory, it was the whole government of England. Aristocracy as a form of government was itself an intolerable grievance... He based his democracy not on political considerations, but on the fundamental tag of the &quot;greatest happiness of the greatest number&quot;. He gave Reform an irresistible catchword: he opened up a new and impugnable line of argument... Bentham gave the Reform movement a much-needed intellectual fillip. Through [[James Mill|Mill]], in the ''[[w:Edinburgh Review|Edinburgh Review]]'', he reached the genteel establishments: through [[w:Francis Place|Place]], he stiffened the people.
**[[w:Michael Roberts (historian)|Michael Roberts]], ''The Whig Party, 1807–1812'' (1939), pp. 261-263, 265

*Ethical hedonism was originally tied to psychological hedonism about human motivation. Bentham assumed that all humans are basically and exclusively motivated by the desire to gain pleasure and avoid pain, but it is possible to maintain ethical hedonism while rejecting, as most present utilitarians are inclined to do, psychological hedonism. However, certain later and contemporary versions of utilitarianism broaden the notion of ethical hedonism so that human or personal good is understood to be constituted by whatever satisfies people's desires or preferences or makes people happy.
**[[w:Michael Slote|Michael Slote]], in the article on [http://www.mywire.com/a/Oxford-Companion-Philosophy/utilitarianism/9566219/ Utilitarianism in ''The Oxford Companion to Philosophy'' (1995)] edited by [[w: Ted Honderich| Ted Honderich]], p. 890

*For as a hedonist, Bentham apparently bases moral status not on the dignity of rational nature but rather solely on the capacity to feel pleasure and pain. And this is clearly different from the Kantian position. Yet I claim that Bentham’s idea here is in general terms not inconsistent with Kantian ethics but is instead a corollary of the Kantian position. I would even claim that Kantian ethics provides a better justification for it than Bentham’s hedonism–a shallow empiricist doctrine that cannot account properly even for the values it assigns to pleasure and pain in human beings.&lt;br&gt;[…] Nonhuman animals do not have the capacity to reason or to talk. Therefore, beyond making the obvious point that they are not persons in the strict sense, whether they have or lack these capacities is irrelevant to how we should treat them. Bentham is therefore correct in telling us not to ask about these matters when we are deciding how to treat animals. What is relevant, because it relates their capacities to those of rational nature, is the fact that they can suffer, and desire, and sometimes also care – about members of their own species, or even occasionally about members of other species, such as humans. Bentham is therefore also correct in telling us what we should ask about these capacities, for they are the relevant ones. Bentham is correct, however, not because [[Immanuel Kant|Kant]] is wrong, but because Kant is right.
**[[Allen W. Wood]], ''Kantian Ethics'' (2008), Ch. 5. Humanity

== See also ==
{{Social and political philosophers}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikisource author|Jeremy Bentham}}
{{commons}}
* [http://www.utm.edu/research/iep/b/bentham.htm Profile in ''The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy'']
* [https://www.utilitarianism.net/utilitarian-thinker/jeremy-bentham Jeremy Bentham], biographical profile, including quotes and further resources in [https://www.utilitarianism.net/ Introduction to Utilitarianism: An Online Textbook]
* [https://oll.libertyfund.org/person/jeremy-bentham Online Library of Liberty - Jeremy Bentham]
* [http://www.ucl.ac.uk/Bentham-Project/ The Bentham Project] at University College London. Includes a [http://www.ucl.ac.uk/Bentham-Project/who/autoicon history] of the Auto-Icon, [http://www.ucl.ac.uk/Bentham-Project/tools/neologisms Neologisms of Jeremy Bentham] (words he created, including international, maximize and minimize), and details of Bentham's will.
* [http://socserv.mcmaster.ca/econ/ugcm/3ll3/bentham/ Bentham Index]
* [http://utilitarian.net/bentham Jeremy Bentham at Utilitarian.net]
* [http://jeromekahn123.tripod.com/utilitarianismtheethicaltheoryforalltimes/id4.html Jeremy Bentham's Life and Impact]
* [http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02482b.htm Benthamism in ''The Catholic Encyclopedia'']
* [http://www.livingphilosophy.org.uk/philosophy/Jeremy_Bentham/ &quot;Jeremy Bentham at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2007&quot;]
* [http://www.ditext.com/bentham/bentham.html &quot;Critique of the Doctrine of Inalienable, Natural Rights&quot; in '' Anarchical Fallacies'']
* [http://librivox.org/offences-against-ones-self-paederasty-by-jeremy-bentham/ &quot;Offences Against One's Self: Paederasty&quot;, c. 1785, free audiobook from LibriVox]

{{Classical economists}}

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    <title>Rosalind Russell</title>
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      <text bytes="1933" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Studio publicity Rosalind Russell.jpg|right|thumb|upright|Russell (c. 1955)]]

'''[[w:Rosalind Russell|Rosalind Russell]]''' ([[4 June]] [[1907]] – [[28 November]] [[1976]]) was a four-time [[w:Academy Award|Academy Award]] nominated and [[w:Tony Award|Tony Award]] winning American film and stage actress, perhaps best known for her role as a fast-talking newspaper reporter in the [[w:Howard Hawks|Howard Hawks]] screwball comedy ''[[His Girl Friday]]''.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* Acting is standing up naked and turning around very slowly.
** Rosalind Russell, ''Life is a Banquet''

=== Halliwell's Who's Who in the Movies (2001 ed): Art. ''Rosalind Russell'' p. 383 ===
* At MGM there was a first wave of top stars, and a second wave to replace them in case they got difficult.  I was in the second line of defence, behind [[w:Myrna Loy|Myrna Loy]].

* Success is a public affair.  Failure is a private funeral.

==Quotes about==
* Roz Russell got so frightened at [[Cary Grant|Cary]]'s glibness that she told me she'd hired a gag writer on the side to interpolate bits for her.
** {{w|Ralph Bellamy}}, speaking about ''[[His Girl Friday]]'' with James Bawden in either 1978, 1983 or 1988; as quoted in ''Classic Film Stars: Interviews from Hollywood's Golden Era'' (2016) by Bawden and Ron Miller, p.&amp;nbsp;36

* Roz is in [[Hollywood]], but she's not ''of'' it.
** {{w|Kay Francis}}, as quoted by Russell in ''Life is a Banquet'' (1977), p. [https://archive.org/details/lifeisbanquet00russ/page/240/mode/2up 241]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Russell, Rosalind}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Comedians from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Catholics from the United States]]
[[Category:1907 births]]
[[Category:1976 deaths]]
[[Category:People from Connecticut]]
[[Category:Tony Award winners]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves</title>
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      <text bytes="98938" xml:space="preserve">'''''{{w|Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves}}''''' (also known in PAL regions as '''''Sly 3: Honour Among Thieves''''', or simply just '''''Sly 3''''') is a video game which stars [[w:Sly Cooper|Sly Cooper]] and the [[w:List of Sly Cooper characters|gang]]. It's a sequel to ''[[Sly 2: Band of Thieves|Band of Thieves]]''. [[Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time|Thieves in Time]] came out after 8 years later.

==The ''Whole'' Cooper Gang==

===Sly===
* Cops 'round here really like to make an impression.
* Aw. Come on, pal. There's always a way.
* Hello, assorted meatheads... and lady. Anyone feel like getting some exercise?
* ''[pirate accent]'' Argh, I forgot me #2 pencil for the scantron test!
* And... I'm out.
* 'Guys like me'? Are you saying I've got some competition for your affections?
* Hope that manhole works both ways!
* How about you stop sending these gaurds up to kill me?
* Listen up, Dirtbags! Time to clear out! From now on, this bar is Cooper Gang Turf!
* The lasers! I get it, I can slide on the laser beams! Dad, you old rascal!

===Bentley===
* Don't worry, my pet. I'll make this quick and painless.
* ''[to distract guards]'' '''Yo, mama!''' / '''I'm yelling at you!''' / '''Hey, you with the low self esteem!''' / '''Follow the sound of my voice.''' / '''Yo, ugly!''' / ''(chicken noises)'' / '''♪ ''You will never find me!'' ♪''' / '''Hey, pay attention to me!''' / '''Hey, fatty!''' / '''Up your nose with a rubber hose!''' / '''Aloha, idiot!'''
* I'm allergic to tomatoes!
* Let go of me, you geriatric fiend!
* ''[to Sly]'' I can't believe that worked. You've got the worst Italian accent I've ever heard... No offense.
* ''(While sabotaging the work of Don Octavio)'' Look away if you must, you're about to witness the dark side of electrical engineering. Kill a bunch of poor innocent fish, will he?
* Another falls before my digital kung-fu! Hi-ya-cha-cha-cha!
* Another terminal... terminated.
* ''Uh, we need to put the smack down on these bad dudes... for justice.''
* That sneaky devil!
* When you two are done making out, I'll see you back at the Safehouse. Sheesh!
* ''[to Muggshot]'' Your mother is a broken down tub of junk with more gentlemen callers than the operator!
* Oh boy, here comes the big guns. And by &quot;guns&quot; I mean a flying, giant, whale-dragonfly thing covered in robotic junk!

===Murray===
* ''(To Don Octavio)'' That does it! I'LL FLOSS MY TEETH WITH YOUR SPINE!! &quot;The Murray&quot; returns!
* The Murray knows no song, but the triumphant horn section of his own triumph!
* Keep it peaceful, and I'll smash up anything you'd like!
* What's the point of having fists if you can't bash steel doors with them?!
* My mind is clear, like the woodlands after a forest fire.
* Greetings, old– ''(Sees Carmelita)'' Inspector Fox!? Man, you're in it again.
* What was Genghis Khan's favorite meal? The brains of his enemies. That wasn't really funny, just gross and weird, you've gotta admit weird right?
* Find the match deep inside yourself... light it, and let the fire burn up your gut and boil your blood!
* The Murray has been and always will be... FINESSE!
* That's right, plug-head! I'm like a semi truck with its brakes cut!
* Keep your head down, stay clear. I'm going to crack alot of skulls and I don't want your's to be one of them!
* Yes! The Murray lives! I will never forget you, brave little RC car! We will be friends forever! You can ride in my van!
* Yeah! You're all knocked down and &quot;The Murray&quot; stands tall! Like a freaking totem pole of strongism!
* YES! The Cooper Gang, rules the roost! We're the kings of the hill! The totally maxed-out, heavy weight, champions!

===New member(s)===

====Penelope====
* ''(about Sly)'' I ''love'' to see him pull off those athletic moves.
* ''(about Bentley)'' Nobody touches that turtle… but me.
* Opening the door for a lady, and some say chivalry is dead.
* In position. 
* I have a visual.
* ''I'm on it.''

====The Panda King====
* ''I endeavor not to miss.''
* Ha! With my fireworks, it will fly, as the bird! ''(lights fuse)'' Fly, bird! FLY!
* ''(gleefully)'' The fuse is lit!
* YOU ARE... correct. Forgive me, my mind is not always my own.
* Fear not, Cooper! I shall not kill you this day!
* If you truly wish to aid me, stand still and let my fireballs cook your flesh!

====Dimitri Lousteau====
* Murray? That name's a stain on my pants, bro. Whuh?!
* My style, it's like smoke. Ungrabbable, and all over the place!
* The Baron has eyes, eyes and ears, ears and fists!
* ''Showtime, baby!''
* I'm MAG to the JAG to the EFICENT baby!
* ♪ ''I dive baby, I dive for the love!'' ♪
* This no small-time favor like, &quot;Will you water my fish or feed my plant?&quot; No way, bro! This old school! Mafia blood-pact favor, like in movies, big time!

==Dr. M==
* ''(on phone)'' Yes? Water leaking into the lab? I'm on my way down. Oh, and get a janitor for the lab elevator... Richards got sloppy.
* You're as weak as your father!
*''(Meeting Sly Cooper for the first time)'' Cooper...! No, you must be Sly Cooper, the new keeper of the cane! How I've longed for this.
* Ha ha! You and your foolish friends keep trying to beat me with your guns! They're like toys to my creatures. If this Whale-Fly had vocal chords he'd laugh at your silly little faces! (Laughs)
* Ah, Murray. You're much stronger than McSweeney ever was.

==Carmelita Fox==
* No one hurts my criminal!
* That's right! Hide in the sewers like the rat you are!
* First things first. Put Cooper down and we'll talk terms.
* Blast it, Sly. Why run? Why not face me like a real man?!
* Don't move or I'll zap you.
* Interpol, I've captured Sly Cooper. Repeat, captured Sly Cooper. Requesting instruction unit, over.
* Cooper! ''(groans)'' These guys have to brag, even when they're running away.
* Sly Cooper and his secret plans. Who's this &quot;veiled bride&quot; he's so interestd in anyways? Well, he's not the only one who can play the disguise game. I'll give and his gang a shotgun wedding they'll never forget!

==Don Octavio==
*

== General Tsao ==
* ''(Upon confronting Sly Cooper)'' Ah, the famous Sly Cooper. It seems you and your little gang were able to follow the trail I left for you. Of course, you'll be helpless without them as you soon discover.

==Black Spot Pete==
*

==Captain LeFwee==
*
* ''[last words before his death]'' Smartest man of the 7 seas!

==Dialogue==

===Beginning of the End: The Cooper Vault===

:'''Bentley''': ''This is it, Sly. The gang's assembled and are in position to help you get up to that vault. For the rest of the operation, you are &quot;the ball&quot;.''
:'''Sly Cooper''': Roger, Bentley. I'm starting my approach. Getting over these fortress walls shouldn't be a problem… Look, we're running 5 by 5 here, make sure everyone's in sync.
:'''Bentley''': ''I hear that. Artillery, sure you can make that shot?''
:'''Agent Monarch''': ''I endeavor not to miss.''
:'''Bentley''': ''Excellent. Radio Control?''
:'''Agent Heartthrob''': ''In position.''
:'''Bentley''': ''Recovery Team?''
:'''Recovery Team (Murray)''': ''I'm pumped!''
:'''Bentley''': ''Submersibles?''
:'''Agent Deep 6''': ''Showtime, baby!''
:'''Bentley''': ''Telekinetics?''
:''[Agent Old Rock speaks Aboriginal]''
:'''Bentley''': ''Alright, it's the crime of the century and &quot;the ball's&quot; in motion!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;


&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Dr. M''': Cooper?! No. You must be Sly Cooper, the new keeper of the cane. Oh-ho. How I've longed for this.
:'''Sly''': This vault belongs to the Cooper family. You're trespassing.
:'''Dr. M''': No, naive boy. You're trespassing! I've got the deed to this island! This fortress is mine! Everything here is MINE! Which now includes the key to the vault. Hand over the cane.
:'''Sly''': Sorry, pal. Family heirloom. Buy a knock-off at the gift shop.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': It's not working! Save yourself!
:'''Sly''': If he wants to eat, eat ''this''!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Sly''' ''[narrating]'': It was like they always say - your life really ''does'' flash before your eyes. There it all was… stretching back to my childhood. Born into a family of master thieves that went back for generations, I was next in line to continue the Cooper name… but fate had different plans. I was robbed of my childhood when a ruthless gang attacked our home. The orphanage I landed in wasn't all bad. It was there that I met my lifelong friends. Bentley, he's always been the thinker… and Murray, he's the doer. We'd stuck together over the years and our skill, our confidence, and our thieving reputation grew stronger with each heist. We thought that the good times would never end and that our luck would never run out… which only made things tougher when the odds finally caught up with us… then I met this guy, McSweeney, who claimed to have run with my father's crew back in their heyday. They pulled jobs all over the world and amassed quite a collection of priceless items. It was then that McSweeney told me all about the Cooper Vault. It seemed that my father, like all my ancestors, had been hiding their wealth in a secret place for generations, each one adding to the treasure hidden behind a door that, if McSweeney's story is true, only a Cooper can open. Using some well-placed clues provided by McSweeney, we set out for the secret island that held the vault. On arriving, we discovered someone by the name of Dr. M had already set up shop. From the looks of it, he'd been trying to crack the thing for years, growing steadily more frustrated in his failures and more paranoid as the decades rolled by. He'd built himself a fortress with security as tight as Fort Knox. Getting inside the place would take precision, creativity, and moreover, it would take an army of world-class thieves. Finding and bringing together that much talent won't be easy, but to get inside the Cooper Vault and collect my inheritance, I was willing to pay the price.

===Hazard Room===

:'''Bentley''': If we're gonna make it to the Cooper Vault, we'll need to perfect our thieving skills. I've rigged this place to push us to our limits.
:'''Sly''': I'm guessing these levers start the different trainers.
:'''Bentley''': That's right, each will initiate a streamlined crash course in grand larceny. I'll head for the control room and we'll get things started.
:'''Sly''': Dish it out. I'm ready.

====Sly's tutorials====

=====Navigation=====

:'''Bentley''': ''Okay, all great thieves have one thing in common.''
:'''Sly''': A ton of cash?
:'''Bentley''': ''No, they never get lost. Use the right analog stick to look around the Hazard Room... try to find the Cooper Gang marker I'm projecting.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;


&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;


&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;


&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;


&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;


=====Spire jump and crawl=====

:'''Bentley''': ''You picked up a lot of skills after reading the Thievius Raccoonus.''
:'''Sly''': Heck of a page turner, that book.
:'''Bentley''': ''Let's see if you remember them all. Check out those small points on that wire. You can land on them light as a feather using your Ninja Spire Jump.''
:'''Sly''': Easy, I just jump and hit the circle button.
:'''Bentley''': ''Exactly! Try getting over to the other platform.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''Looking good, Sly.''
:'''Sly''': You know how I love the second story work.
:'''Bentley''': ''Sure, but how do you feel about tight spaces? Try getting through the small opening in that wall. Hit the circle button when you're close to crawl inside. [Sly crawls under the wall] Nice job, Sly. You're a credit to the Cooper name.''

=====Climbing=====


&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;


&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''That's it, I give. You've made it through all of my challenges.''
:'''Sly''': Hey, don't feel bad, those wall hooks were kinda tricky.
:'''Bentley''': ''It was all supposed to be tricky... anyhow, you've proven you know how to get around. A word to the wise, anywhere you sense a thieving opportunity, you know, see the blue sparkles, you can use a circle button move.''
:'''Sly''': Pretty handy.
:'''Bentley''': ''Yes. Yes it is.''

=====Guards=====


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&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;


=====Spycam=====

:'''Bentley''': ''As you know, we sometimes need reconnaissance photographs to plan for a heist.''
:'''Sly''': Ah, the humble recon photo. The unsung hero of many a caper.
:'''Bentley''': ''I've outfitted your binocucom with a camera. Click down on the right analog stick to bring it up.''
:'''Sly''': I tell ya, Bentley. You designed this thing really well. The left analog stick aims where you want to look, and the right analog stick lets you zoom in and out. So easy.
:'''Bentley''': ''Why, thank you. Try to get a good picture of that chair suspended from the ceiling. You might have to zoom in a little. Press the R1 button to take the shot.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''Of course, it won't always be so easy. Sometimes you'll need to get a better vantage point.''
:'''Sly''': That shouldn't be too difficult.
:'''Bentley''': ''Your targets can also be moving... makes getting a good shot that much more difficult.''
:'''Sly''': It's okay, so long as I'm quick with the zoom I'll be fine.
:'''Bentley''': ''Let's put it to the test. Take a picture of each of these guards without getting caught.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Sly''': There you go, Bentley. Some wonderful pinups for our refrigerator.
:'''Bentley''': ''They're lovely. High art.''
:'''Sly''': Seriously?
:'''Bentley''': ''No, but you've shown some real skill with the binocucom's camera. Nice work.''

====Bentley's tutorial====

:'''Sly''': ''Alright Bentley, things can get pretty rough out in the field. You'd better be prepared.''
:'''Bentley''': &quot;Preparation&quot; is my middle name... my wheelchair is totally equipped.
:'''Sly''': ''Good to hear. As our resident demolitions expert, you'll need to be handy with the bombs.''
:'''Bentley''': No problem, just have to hold down the triangle button and ''out'' comes the goods.
:'''Sly''': ''Okay, try dropping a bomb on that crate over there.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Sly''': ''That's some quality pyrotechnics, but how are your bombs versus guards?''
:'''Bentley''': Against sleeping guards, I'm like a Greek god. All fall before me.
:'''Sly''': ''Let's see what you got.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Sly''': ''Nice work. Now how about someone awake?''
:'''Bentley''': I just put them to sleep too. My chair's been outfitted with a top of the line sleep dart launcher. In fact, I even linked it to my binocucom.
:'''Sly''': ''Smart, so you just click the right analog stick to bring it up.''
:'''Bentley''': And to shoot, I press the R1 button.
:'''Sly''': ''Have you got a zoom function on that thing? Might be fun to snipe from a distance.''
:'''Bentley''': Yup, it's all on the right analog stick.
:'''Sly''': ''Try taking out that guard. Might have to zoom in a little. He's pretty far away.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Sly''': ''Alright, Bentley. You make this look easy, but how's your aim against moving guards?''
:'''Bentley''': With a zoom function and nerves of steel, I'm ready for anything.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Sly''': ''That chair's pretty sweet, got any other gizmos in there?''
:'''Bentley''': Oh yeah, it's my own design. The pick-pocket-pole, or the PPP for short.
:'''Sly''': ''A fishing pole with a magnet?''
:'''Bentley''': Ingenious, huh? By default, it's linked to the L1 button.
:'''Sly''': ''And you can rob someone with that thing?''
:'''Bentley''': I just keep the L1 button held down, sneak up behind a guy, connect with the magnet, then pull back to yank out the loot.
:'''Sly''': ''Sounds just like fishing. Try it on this guy right here.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Sly''': ''I'm impressed with your pickpocketing technology, but how is it against someone in motion?''
:'''Bentley''': Allow me to demonstrate. I just hold down the L1 button, attach and pull... couldn't be easier.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''[after Bentley pickpockets the guard]''
:'''Sly''': That chair of yours is a wonder. You've packed so much technology into such a small space!

====Murray's tutorial====

:'''Bentley''': ''Alright, Murray. Time to brush up on your power moves. The first one is throwing stuff.''
:'''Murray''': Pluck it and chuck it, that's me.
:'''Bentley''': ''To pick something up, just get close and hit the circle button. To throw, just face your target and press the square button.''
:'''Murray''': Circle, square, ain't hardly fair! Looks like I've got plenty of rocks to throw with.
:'''Bentley''': ''Try breaking all those pillars.''
:'''Murray''': Can do.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''Nice job. You can also pick up guards when they're knocked out.''
:'''Murray''': Great! I knock the small guys out with one punch!
:'''Bentley''': ''You might have to be a little more subtle with the big flashlight guards, they're pretty tough. Sneak up behind this guy and sucker punch him while he's not looking, then pick him up and throw him at the pillar.''
:'''Murray''': Gotcha. Sneak up, sucker punch, grab, throw, destroy! Kids' stuff!
:'''Bentley''': ''Let's see what you got.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''An easy way to knock out guards is to throw something at them.''
:'''Murray''': Ah, the old rock to the head routine.
:'''Bentley''': ''Yep. Throw a rock at that guard to knock him out. Then pick him up and throw him at that pillar.''
:'''Murray''': Can do, little brother.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''Well done. Okay, what's different about this next guy?''
:'''Murray''': He's got a ton of cash in his back pocket. Chump! He's just asking, begging me to rob 'em!
:'''Bentley''': ''That's right. You may not have the agility or technology to pick his pocket, but you can use your strength to mug him quite thoroughly.''
:'''Murray''': Oh, yeah. I just knock 'em flat then pick 'em up.
:'''Bentley''': ''Once you've got him above your head, press the circle button to shake loose any coins he has and collect the goods. Keep at it until he's empty.''
:'''Murray''': The Murray will give this high roller a shakedown he'll never forget.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''Okay, Murray. The juggle grab is one of your most powerful moves, you ready?''
:'''Murray''': Born ready!
:'''Bentley''': ''When facing off against smaller opponents, you can knock them into the air with your triangle button uppercut and then grab 'em before they hit the ground by pressing the circle button.''
:'''Murray''': Okay, okay. Let me see if I've got it. Hit them with my triangle button uppercut then yank 'em out of the air by pressing the circle button. That right?
:'''Bentley''': ''You got it. For this test, you'll have to pull it off 3 times and throw the guards at that pillar over there. Don't waste your time trying to fight 'em, just focus on the technique.''
:'''Murray''': Bring on the pain!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''Excellent work. Another handy move is your Thunder Flop.''
:'''Murray''': Oh, yeah. Terror from above!
:'''Bentley''': ''Just jump and press the square button to break this ground plate a few times. [Murray &quot;Thunder Flops&quot; the ground plate] I got to hand it to you, Murray. You're ready to take on the world.''

===An Opera of Fear===

:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' Getting inside a world-class vault would take a team of world-class thieves, a group of specialists, each member contributing their own particular talent. It was clear that we needed Murray back. Not only was I missing a lifelong friend, but his brute strength helped get us out of more than a few scrapes in the past. When Bentley was injured during the whole Clockwerk affair, Murray blamed himself, eventually leaving the team. We tried to console him, but going out on his own was something he needed to do. He said he wanted to find his spiritual center. We got word that Murray ended up in the Australian outback where he studied a mystic art called the Dreamtime from an Aboriginal guru. From all accounts, things went pretty well, and his teacher even sent him on a walkabout to locations all over the globe to complete the training. Latest reports have sighted Murray in beautiful Venice, Italy, but what he's doing there is a mystery. I just hope he steers clear of the local mob boss, Octavio. Growing up, this guy used to be a real celebrity in the neighborhood. Everyone loved to hear him sing opera and said he was destined to be the next great tenor, but just as his career started to take off, musical tastes changed. Suddenly, it was all about rock music, and no one wanted to listen to opera anymore. He held onto a few fans, and it was these mobsters that took him into &quot;the business.&quot; Heading onto this guy's turf was dangerous, but worth it for a chance to make things right with Murray.&lt;/span&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;


&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Sly''': Murray… is that you?
:'''Dimitri''': Murray… That name's a stain on my pants bro. Wha!? Cooper, you got some fuzzy dice coming round here.
:'''Sly''': Dimitri? Long time, no punch. Still in jail, I see.
:'''Dimitri''': And you're still a cracker box.
:'''Sly''': Let's get past the name-calling and get to business.
:'''Dimitri''': Looking for main man Murray, eh? Sorry, but I'd rather see you get busted big time! GUARD!!! POLITZIA!!!
:'''Sly''': Wait! ''[in his head]'' Gotta think of something to keep him quiet. I could try...
:''[a list of options is presented to the player]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''[if the player chooses &quot;Threatening him&quot;]''
:'''Sly''': Rat me out to those cops and I'll get thrown in there with you. It'll be a heck of a cage match and we both know who'll win... or did you forget Paris?
:'''Dimitri''': Eh, worth it to see your smug face behind the bars!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[if the player chooses &quot;Flattery&quot;]''
:'''Sly''': Where's that generous nature you're so famous for? I always pegged you as the bigger man in these types of situations.
:'''Dimitri''': I'm a big man, big with the payback and the sex appeal. Got that ant? I control the beat on this track, you're just the dancer.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[if the player chooses &quot;Cutting a deal&quot;, the correct answer]''
:'''Sly''': If those cops get their mitts on me, who's gonna break you out of jail?
:'''Dimitri''': You might get this cell door open, but the cops would throw down and bust me on the way out, and then I'll gets the double sentence, grief!
:'''Sly''': ''[in his head]'' He's right, it'll be tough getting him out of here. I need a plan. Maybe I could...
:''[another list of options is presented to the player]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[if the player chooses &quot;Disguise us both as police, then walk out?&quot;]'''
:'''Sly''': Tell you what, I'll steal a couple of police uniforms. We'll suit up and then just walk out the front door.
:'''Dimitri''': Come on, man, I'm a fashion all-star! No way, no how I'm dressing up in polyester pig suit... some things worse than jail.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[if the player chooses &quot;Take him with me up the air vent&quot;]''
:'''Sly''': Look, I got in here through an air vent. We can both use it to escape.
:'''Dimitri''': I can't fit in no vent! You spy my macho frame? I'm packing too much sexy muscle to fit in vent like you stick dudes.

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;Distract the cops so he can get away&quot;, the correct answer]''
:'''Sly''': How about I get the cops' attention then run for it. Once they're all outside, shooting at me, you can slip out no problem.
:'''Dimitri''':  Now ''that's'' a plan I can get behind! Dimitri is free and Cooper is cooked. Key for cell is in head cop lady's office.
:'''Sly''': Okay, great. This other lock won't be a problem... I should be able to crack it by hand.
:'''Dimitri''': Get me out of here and I'll find Murray, no sweat. Just keep on the down low and outta sight near them coppers, bro... They're a bad bunch of bunnies.

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:'''Carmelita''': You have some nerve showing up in my squad room!
:'''Sly''': I was concerned we were growing apart.
:'''Carmelita''': Then lets spend some quality time in my interrogation office.
:'''Sly''': So forward…? Whatever happened to the demure girl I used to know?
:'''Carmelita''': She grew up and stopped taking grief from guys like you.
:'''Sly''': Guys like me? Are you saying I've got some competition for your affections?
:'''Carmelita''': You're the only man in my sights right now.

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:'''Murray''': Greetings old… ''[sees Carmelita]'' Inspector Fox!? ''[to Sly]'' Man, you're in it again!
:'''Sly''': Hope that manhole works both ways! ''[he and Murray enter the manhole]''
:'''Carmelita''': That's right. Hide in the sewers like the rat you are!
:''[Sly and Murray come out of a different manhole across the city.]''
:'''Sly''': Thanks for the quick escape. I owe you one... again.
:'''Murray''': Of course, searcher. We are all in need of peace.
:'''Sly''': You're really whole hog on this Dreamtime stuff, huh?
:'''Murray''': My mind is clear, like the woodland after a forest fire.
:'''Sly''': Listen, Murray... we need you back on the team. That thing with Bentley, it wasn't your fault. He doesn't blame you for the wheelchair.
:'''Murray''': Sorry, Sly, I walk a different path. My Guru, in his wisdom, told me to lose myself, and not return until the black water ran pure. So here I stay.
:'''Sly''': You sure he didn't tell you to get lost, and not come back until the you've cleared out the water filter?
:'''Murray''': Come on! I'm on a real spirit quest here!
:'''Sly''': Sorry, sorry… Tell me everything. I've missed you, pal.
:'''Murray''': Well, it's a long and awesome story. You got any gum?

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': Murray refuses to join the gang until the commitment to his Guru has been fulfilled. Whether we like it or not, we've got to go deal with Venice's tar problems in order to, as Murray puts it, &quot;make the black water run pure&quot;. Thanks to Inspector Fox's fine detective work, we already know that Don Octavio is somehow connected. As non-law operatives, we'll be able to tackle this situation in a more &quot;head-on&quot; fashion. First, we break into Octavio's opera house. If he's hiding anything, we'll find it. We should also keep a close eye on the Don. Some photographic evidence of him connected to the tar might be enough to get the old mobster put away. Of course, meanwhile, I'll monitor local communication frequencies. With some luck, we might pick up some quality intel.&lt;/span&gt;

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': So according to these decrypted files, Octavio is pumping tar from underneath the foundations of buildings, so he can sink them into the canals on a whim! He's going to demonstrate this destructive ability to the people of Venice during his opera recital on the first day of Carnevale. To counter this threat, we'll first destroy the balloons and sign advertising the recital. If no one shows up, he'll have no reason to sink a building. Next, the blueprints to the main tar vacuum have been cleverly split into three parts and hidden in local coffee houses owned by Octavio. Unfortunately, they're under constant guard, so you'll need to use a disguise to get us inside. Also, some big Vincenetti goons have been called in as &quot;insurance&quot; for the recital. Given their size, I think it's prudent to fool Carmelita's ape mercenaries into taking them out for us. And finally, we'll have to convince Murray into taking to the field. If he's learned the Aboriginal Ball Form, it'll be just the thing for destroying the local tar reservoirs.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': Any problems with that guy?
:'''Sly''': Said he wanted to be buried in his mom's pasta sauce.
:'''Bentley''': Yeah. That's, uh... That's strange.
:''[Sly opens the door and Bentley goes inside]''
:'''Sly''': ''You know, I just can't get it out of my head. Have you ever had pasta sauce that tasty? I don't want to distract you or anything, but I just don't think I've ever had cooking that good. Are we missing out on a universe of flavors?''

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:'''Sly''': That explosive had some kick!
:'''Bentley''': It was a child compared to this ferocious beast. Don't dilly-dally with this one, it's got a longer fuse but you've got farther to run.
:'''Sly''': &quot;Ferocious beast&quot;?
:'''Bentley''': Run, Sly! Run! Fear the beast!

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:'''Sly''': Put my friend down or I'm going to knock out all your teeth, one at a time, and make you eat 'em.
:'''Don Octavio''': Oh! Is that-a the best you got? Back in my day, we had enforcers that would make people-a pee their pants just by-a looking at 'em.

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': With Octavio's comeback opera recital just a few hours away, we're all set up for the main event. Get ready for Operation – Tar-Be Gone! Our objective – get Murray back on the team. Sly, you'll start things off by using your disguise to sneak into the opera house. Make your way to the pump room, and let me in through the side entrance. Thanks to the blueprints we stole, I now know just where to bomb to cripple the machinery, then we'll go for Octavio's detonation switch. I'm sure you'd agree that we just can't leave a weapon that powerful in the hands of such a madman, so I'll distract the old mobster with an opera duel. He's sure not to attack while we're both on stage. Meanwhile, you'll cut the lines to the chandelier and drop it on his head! I'll swipe the switch and we'll both find Murray. By then, the black water is sure to be running clear and he'll be free to come with us.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Sly''': It's over, Octavio. You're beat. Give us the demolition switch and we'll all try to ditch these cops.
:'''Octavio''': ''[pulls out the demolition switch]'' You chasin' me fuh this! Fine big shot. It took me 6 months to prepare this-a thing, but what the hey? I got more where this came from.
:'''Murray''': You guys see that boat go out of control and jump and smash into that thing? Destruction! So cool!
:'''Octavio''': You think that was &quot;cool&quot; punk? Heh-hee-heh. ''[pushes the button and several buildings collapse]'' Ha-ha-ha... ack... hack! ''[approaches Bentley]''
:'''Bentley''': You monster! Stop it! Stop it!!
:''[Octavio kicks Bentley]''
:'''Sly''': Murray, I need your help. I've never seen someone move that fast. Octavio's old, but he's still got it. Let's take him together.
:'''Murray''': But… but... I vowed to my Guru that I'd renounce all violence… and the water is still black!
:'''Sly''': It'll be clear any minute, trust me. Now let's take him!
:'''Octavio''': You're right to be scared, Hippo. Your wheelchair friend shoulda been so smart.
:'''Bentley''': Murray… help.
:'''Murray''': ''[gets angry and rips off his necklace]'' That does it! I'll floss my teeth with your spine! ''[jumps down and punches Octavio]'' &quot;The Murray&quot; returns!

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:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' With the fight over, we went back and scraped Bentley off the pavement. It was touch and go for a while there, but we managed to sneak out right under Carmelita's nose. Octavio wasn't so lucky. The guy got 30 years behind bars for what he did to Venice. I guess Italians don't like it when you sink their landmarks. Ironically, he found success as a singer while in jail. After all, most of his old fanbase was already in the clink… but the big score here was bringing our old pal back into the gang. Once he put on those gloves and that mask, it was clear to everyone, most of all him, that &quot;The Murray&quot; had returned.&lt;/span&gt;

===Rumble Down Under===

:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' At first, it seemed just like old times. The gang was back in action… but little by little, we learned that Murray's heart just wasn't in it. Without the Guru's permission to give up on his Dreamtime training, he'd never really felt comfortable returning to the gang. We knew we needed to help him out… so we packed up our things, whipped up some quick disguises and headed for the Australian outback. Along the way, Murray told us story after story about his teacher's amazing abilities. Apparently, this &quot;Guru&quot; of his was capable of fantastic feats. He used the Dreamtime to blend perfectly into his surroundings and even gain mental control over the weak-minded. If even half the stories were true, then this was a guy I just had to meet. Our gang needed to grow its ranks for a chance to get inside the Cooper Vault, and this Guru, this outback mystic, was looking like the best recruit we could have ever asked for. However, when we finally arrived in the outback, it was a shock to find that things had changed, and the Guru was nowhere to be seen.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Murray''': ''My master spends most of his time up there in that cave, overlooking the valley and contemplating the depths of deepness. I really appreciate you breaking the news to him that I want to break off my training.''
:'''Sly''': No problem pal, I'm looking forward to meeting him. Anybody you call &quot;master&quot; must be a heck of a guy.
:'''Murray''': ''Oh, he's awesome! He'll get inside your head and freak you out 6 ways from Sunday!''
:'''Sly''': Uh… awesome.

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:'''Sly''': Sorry, pal, this cave's empty. Got any other ideas where he might be?
:'''Murray''': ''Well, that's his hut, but he doesn't really hang out there on... account of &quot;the smell&quot;.''
:'''Sly''': &quot;The smell&quot;?
:'''Murray''': ''It's a long story. I had to apologize up and down for like a month before he'd speak to me again.''
:'''Sly''': What'd you do?
:'''Murray''': ''The unspeakable, Sly. The'' un''-speakable!''
:'''Sly''': Well, thanks for &quot;speaking&quot; of it. I'm headed for the hut.

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:'''Sly''': Sorry, Murray. Nobody's home. By the looks of it, I'd say the Guru was fighting someone or something off here. I'm starting to think the miners might have got to him.
:'''Murray''': ''You may be right. They'd come in and be all angry and yelling, and he'd be all peaceful, and they'd just get ticked… then he'd try to find &quot;a middle way&quot;, and they'd just go crazy and smash everything up, and then haul him off!''
:'''Sly''': Where do you think they might have taken him?
:'''Murray''': ''They got him! My master's a goner!''
:'''Sly''': M-maybe we should get Bentley on the line.
:'''Bentley''': ''It's tough to say, but... given the layout of the miners camp, I'd venture a guess that they use that area with a high fence as a makeshift stockade.''
:'''Sly''': Hmm, looks like there might be a way up using that cliff below. Shouldn't be a problem.
:'''Bentley''': ''Just keep an eye out for that gyrocopter. I'm positive it's what gave away the Guru's position.''
:'''Sly''': Good tip. Thanks, pal.

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': The Guru won't leave the stockade until he has his Walking Staff and his Moon Stone. He also insists that we purify Ayers Rock of all miners. Only then will the Dreamtime spirits be appeased, and the Guru will be free to use his powers. Sly must've impressed him in their conversation, because now he has requested that Murray and I meet with him individually. Something about judging our &quot;Spiritual Centers&quot;. I've discovered a passage through one of the miners' caves that should make getting up to the Guru less difficult. He also mentioned that the miners had foolishly unearthed The Mask of Dark Earth. I guess it was his job to guard the thing, and now that it's out, bad things are sure to follow. Sounds like mumbo jumbo to me, but we've encountered some unexplainable phenomena over the years, so I'm not gonna rule it out as a threat to our operation.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': ''Nice work, Sly. The sonic vibrations caused by that drill should drive the giant scorpions in the area to the surface. If we can capture a bunch of red soldier scorpions, releasing them into Ayers Rock is sure to push out the miners.''
:'''Murray''': Sounds like a job for The Murray! One question though - how do I capture scorpions with a truck?
:'''Bentley''': ''The vehicle is equipped with a supercharged e-brake which, if pulled when moving, will cause a forward flip. Time it correctly and you'll trap a scorpion in the mining nests built into the bed of the truck.''
:'''Murray''': Okay, Bentley. Bring on the scorpions!
:'''Bentley''': ''Not so fast. The truck's tires will heat up quickly in this blazing hot sand. You'll have to cool them down by driving into the water or running over scorpions. Watch your heat meter to make sure they don't melt. And remember, we're only interested in the red soldier scorpions. The blue worker scorpions won't help us scare the miners off. The truck controls are straightforward, hold the X button to go forward and the square button to drive in reverse. When you're going fast enough, press the R1 to flip over and trap that scorpion.''

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': The Guru has agreed to join our team! Provided we can rid his homeland of the dingo miners and deal with the Mask of Dark Earth. A tall order, but we're up for it. First we'll enlist the aid of some local wildlife to help &quot;thin&quot; out the miners ranks. Murray will feed our foes to a local giant crocodile. With some luck, he'll take a liking to the taste of miners and chow down on them left and right! Second, we'll hit these guys where they live, or at least relax. If we can clear 'em out of this lemonade bar, it'll be a crippling blow to their morale. They'll be begging to go home. And finally, Sly'll use some mining equipment to drill for radioactive oil deep beneath the dried lakebed. Trust me, it's the key to getting rid of the Mask of Dark Earth.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': ''Time we subtracted a few miners from the equation.''
:'''Murray''': You know I don't understand that math talk!
:'''Bentley''': ''Uh, we need to, uh... &quot;put the smackdown&quot; on these uh... &quot;bad dudes&quot;... &quot;for justice&quot;.''
:'''Murray''': Righteous! I'm the man for the job!
:'''Bentley''': ''The Guru will start luring miners to a position near this giant crocodile. Your job is to throw the thugs into the mouth of the monster.''
:'''Murray''': Teach him to like eating miners, huh? That's a sinister plan, Bentley. I approve!
:'''Bentley''': ''With some luck, the oversized reptile will be an invaluable asset in our efforts to drive away the miners. He might even take care of our Mask of Dark Earth problems. I've spotted it prowling near the safe house.''
:'''Murray''': Roger. It's feedin' time!

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': You can feel it in the air, the miners are about to pack it in! In fact they'd probably already be long gone if it weren't for the corrupting influence of the Mask of Dark Earth. It's clear we need to destroy it. Time for Operation - Moon Crash! To start things off, we'll need the Guru to take out the gyrocopter. With it gone, we'll have clear skies for phase 2. Now according to Aboriginal folklore, the Mask of Dark Earth is the sworn enemy of the Moon Spirit, so given Murray's... &quot;moon shape&quot;, we'll coat him in the glowing oil and have him pose as the spirit. We'll then dangle him from the crane. The Mask is sure to spot his ancient foe and come running. That's when we'll strike! Murray, Thunder Flop off the crane and obliterate that Mask! With the Mask destroyed and the miners run off, the Guru we'll be free to join the team for the Cooper vault job!&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': Drat! We can't stop the operation now. We'll just have to give her a wide berth.
:'''Sly''': Roger, applying &quot;wide berth&quot;.
:'''Bentley''': Quit horsing around and look out for the mask. It's close. I can feel it.

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:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' Carmelita just lay there, unconscious, helpless on the desert floor. Being &quot;gentlemen&quot;, we kept watch over her throughout the night. Her camera proved to be a real source of entertainment as we took turns posing. Didn't want her to go home empty handed. Morning broke, and we got a clear view of the landscape. It was beautiful, empty of the miners that had been digging and drilling into the sacred place. The moment was broken as Carmelita began to stir, and we prepared for another quick exit. Only this time, it wasn't just the 3 of us. For the first time in Cooper Gang history, we picked up a new member, and the team would never be the same.&lt;/span&gt;

===Flight of Fancy===

:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' Bentley was obsessed. Every night, he'd pour over the blueprints to Dr. M's fortress, looking for a way to get into the Cooper Vault. He soon came to the conclusion that there was no way inside unless the gang picked up a dedicated RC specialist - an expert who had mechanical and piloting skills ''far'' exceeding his own. After weeks of searching techy chat rooms, he finally found someone who could keep up with him intellectually - a gearhead genius out of Holland named Penelope. She politely declined our invitation to join the team, saying she only works for &quot;the best&quot;. Apparently, her idea of &quot;the best&quot; was her boss, the Black Baron - a bigtime dogfighting champ up there in Holland. He's so good that he's even set up an international competition called ACES to attract worthy opponents. A few days later, she sent us a counteroffer. If our gang could manage to beat the Black Baron at his own game, then she'd know were weren't just a pack of jokers and therefore worth her time, so we got busy. With no time to lose, Bentley and Murray worked to put a plane together... while I got my pilot license the fastest way possible. We'd prove to this Penelope that the Cooper Gang was up for the challenge, even if we were making it all up as we went along.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': ''If we're going to succeed in this year's ACES Competition, we'll need to know who we're flying against.''
:'''Sly''': What, they keep the flight roster a secret?
:'''Bentley''': ''Correct. In years past, competitors would go out at night and sabotage each other's planes, in preparation for the next day's dogfight.''
:'''Sly''': I get it. So now they keep the line-up a secret and no one knows who to mess with.
:'''Bentley''': ''Precisely. Look, Sly. You're a good pilot, but we've only got 1 plane and you'll be up there against'' dozens ''of bogeys.''
:'''Sly''': You know, normally I'd makes some sarcastic remark about how &quot;overwhelmed I am by your confidence in me&quot;, but those are some grim odds… and well, you know, I'm always up for some sabotage.
:'''Bentley''':'' Glad to hear it. Now the roster is kept secret from the pilots, but not from the event staff.''
:'''Sly''': Do we have a mole on the inside?
:'''Bentley''': ''Our &quot;friend&quot;, Dimitri, has been hired to give &quot;color commentary&quot; during the dogfights. He'll know where the roster's hidden. Scout him out somewhere in the hotel lobby, but be careful. If you start a fight with the other pilots, we'll be kicked out of the competition.''
:'''Sly''': Sure. We all play nice until tomorrow, then we blow each other to bits at 300 feet.

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': Okay, fellas. According to the ACES flight lineup, we'll be flying against Team Iceland and Team Belgium in tomorrow's semifinal round. As you're all aware, we've only got a single plane, while our opponents will be flying 15 apiece. You got that guys? That's 30 to 1 odds against us. In order to give us a fighting chance, we'll need to pin these two teams against each other. First, Murray and Sly will paddle through the sewers beneath town to get access to an air vent leading into Team Iceland's hotel room. Steal one of their trademark Viking helmets, then head over to Team Belgium's hangar. Vandalize one of their aircraft, then plant the helmet in order to frame Team Iceland for the damage. Next, Murray and I will steal one of Team Belgium's monogrammed handkerchiefs. Meanwhile, the Guru will break into the Team Iceland supply truck carrying their lucky ice sculpture. Sly will steal the art, and then place the handkerchief insinuating Team Belgium for the crime. Get it? We frame both teams so they'll be gunning for each other and not Sly in the semifinals! All the while, I'll be setting up defenses around the Team Cooper air hangar. You never know when one of the other teams might come looking to do us some harm.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': ''You're a heck of a woman, Penelope.''
:'''Penelope''': ''I know. That's what my homepage says.''

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': Thanks to Sly's flying we're officially in the ACES finals! Our opponents - Team Muggshot and Team Black Baron. The rules in the finals are a bit different than normal. Whoever takes out the defending champ gets the title. Hear that boys? It's all about taking down the Baron! Our only real competition will be Muggshot himself. We need to ''remove'' him from the competition. Here's the plan - I'll challenge him to a fist fight out in the town square. Sly, you find and lure Inspector Fox to the same place. When the two meet, the sparks are sure to fly! With some luck, the big guy'll get carted off to jail and we'll have clear skies for the finals. However, the Baron won't be so easy to deal with. He commands an enormous team of fliers and has been known to bring in a squad of blimp gunships when things look grim. The answer to our problem isn't obvious, although it is potent. Behold - Lupus Gigantormus. I'll drug the beast so that the Guru will be able to ride it and take out some of the local guards, who also serve as the Baron's pilots. Obviously, the fewer enemy pilots Sly has to deal with in the finals, the better. Next, I'll hack into the aircraft control tower. If successful, I'll be able to intercept any messages the Baron might send to his gunships. Alright, team. We've got all night to prepare. If we take this thing, it'll be more than a trophy - Penelope is sure to join our gang. After her stellar work defending our hangar, I'm sure we'd all agree that she's a prime recruit.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': It's time we dealt with Muggshot. We can't risk him taking down the Baron before you in the finals.
:'''Sly''': Not to mention he deserves a little payback for what he did to our aircraft hangar.
:'''Bentley''': True, true. Since Muggshot's assault, the Baron has been keeping an eye on him. We can't fight him out in the open... for risk of getting disqualified. Thankfully, Inspector Fox is out in the field looking for us.
:'''Sly''': I hear ya, we'll set 'em against each other. Muggshot is an international criminal after all. Carmelita won't be able to resist.
:'''Bentley''': My only concern is for Inspector Fox's safety.
:'''Sly''': Oh, don't worry about her. She's more than a match for a meathead like Muggshot.
:'''Bentley''': Okay, I'll pick a fight with Muggshot and bait him into meeting in the Town Square for our &quot;rumble&quot;.
:'''Sly Cooper''': You do that. I'll get Carmelita's attention and lead her back here to the same place.
:'''Bentley''': Agreed.
:'''Sly''': I've gotta hand it to you, Bentley. This is a really underhanded plan.
:'''Bentley''': Why, thank you! I'm feeling pretty good about it.

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:''[a disguised Bentley approaches Muggshot]''
:'''Muggshot''': Aw, beat it, twerp. The Black Baron's been giving me the grill since that &quot;event&quot; in yer hangar.
:'''Bentley''': Perhaps you'd like to take out some frustration by... engaging in a physical battle with me outside in the town square?
:'''Muggshot''': No way! I'm bein' watched here. That, and it wouldn't feel right poundin' a four-eyed runt in a wheelchair.
:'''Bentley''': ''[in his head]'' I've got to bait him into a fight. Maybe I should insult...
:''[a list of options is presented to the player]''

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;His record versus the Cooper Gang&quot;]''
:'''Bentley''': I'm sure you wouldn't win in a fight anyway. You've got such a long, sad history of losing to the Cooper Gang.
:'''Muggshot''': I could whip your whole gang with one arm if you jerks would sit still! Look at these arms! ''[flexes his muscles]'' I'm unstoppable!

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;His breath]''
:'''Bentley''': My head is spinning from your breath. What, do you gargle with raw sewage every night before bed?
:'''Muggshot''': Yeah, yer half right. I find a nice tang to my breath helps maintain my &quot;personal space.&quot;

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;His mental faculties&quot;]''
:'''Bentley''': Do you even know what I'm saying to you? Or are you too stupid to understand the words coming in through your ear holes?
:'''Muggshot''': What? What's an &quot;ear hole&quot;? Talk sense, why don't ya!

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;His appearance&quot;]''
:'''Bentley''': Y'know, I've been thinking about your appearance.
:'''Muggshot''': Look, if you don't got nothin' to say nice, then don't say nothin' at all. Get it?! ''[Bentley silently stares at Muggshot]'' What? Ain't got no sassy comment, smart guy? ''[Bentley continues to stare silently]'' Oh, I get it. You got nothin' nice to say, so you're keepin' quiet. That's real cute. ''[Bentley continues to stare silently]'' You really got nothin' nice to say? That's cold.

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;His mother&quot;, the correct answer]''
:'''Bentley''': Your mother was a broken-down tub of junk with more gentleman callers than the operator!
:'''Muggshot''': NOBODY TALKS THAT WAY ABOUT MY MOTHER!!! ''NOBODY!!!!'' Okay, little broken-down runt! Looks you're about to be broken-down even more!
:'''Bentley''': Town square, five minutes. Please don't be late.

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:'''Sly:''' Hey, Inspector Fox! Still looking for a date to the prom?
:'''Carmelita:''' Quit running, and I'll pin the corsage on you!

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:'''Muggshot''': Mess with me? That little punk is gonna eat dirt. ''[notices Carmelita] Hey!'' You're that cop hag that busted me back in Mesa City!
:'''Carmelita''': Muggshot, alias &quot;2-Gun Tony&quot;, also known as &quot;Meat-Head&quot; Muggshot. 7'3&quot;, 324 pounds, wanted in 7 countries with 13 outstanding warrants for your arrest… And yes, I'm that &quot;cop hag&quot; that put you away back in Mesa.
:'''Muggshot''': Well, wise guy… lady. Feel like goin' for another shot at the title?
:'''Carmelita''': It's my duty to put you behind bars. ''That'', and I enjoy making tough guys cry like the stupid babies they really are.
:'''Muggshot''': I ain't no stupid baby!

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:''[after Carmelita defeats Muggshot]''
:'''Muggshot''': ''[losing consciousness]'' Mutha, that you? I'm sorry... I didn't know they was yours.
:'''Carmelita''': Ugh, booking this idiot'll take all night. Ah, well, I'm sure Cooper won't make his move anytime soon.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''The Guru''': ''[speaking in [[w:Diksha|Diksha]]]''
:'''Bentley''': Thanks, Guru. You always know just what to say.

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': Thanks to our combined efforts, we're now ready for the final round of the ACES Dogfighting competition. Put on your helmets, cause it's time for Operation - Turbo Dominant Eagle! In just a few hours, Team Iceland and Team Belgium will begin fighting it out in the B-Champs round. This'll provide the perfect cover for step one of my plan. Sly, use the catapult and your Paraglider to get access to the local gunships. Plant some tracking devices, then head back to the team hangar and suit up for the finals. Murray, you're up next. Use your rowboat to pull down the aircraft communication antenna. With it out of commission, the Baron will have to use an unscrambled radio frequency to call in the gunships for backup. If that happens, I'll be ready with our secret weapon, and with the tracking devices installed, I'm guaranteed not to miss. In the end though, it'll be up to Sly. This is a sudden death competition. The first team to take out last year's champ wins! That's if the Black Baron doesn't take out all the competition first.&lt;/span&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''Excellent! The B-Champs dogfight is beginning! With these guys going at it, no one will notice as you slip onto the gunships and plant a tracking device.''
:'''Sly''': Sounds straightforward enough. Where'd you get these trackers? They look kind of funny.
:'''Bentley''': ''Best I could do on short notice. They're sensitive to extreme changes in altitude. You'll have to pull this job off at high elevation or it's a bust.''
:'''Sly''': Shouldn't be a problem.

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&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' It was quite a revelation - Penelope and the Black Baron were one of the same, but before we could even process this turn of events, we were rushed to the winner's circle. Somehow, against all odds, we'd become this year's champions. There was a bit of an awkward moment between Bentley and Penelope. I guess the photos they'd sent each other over the internet were a bit... exaggerated. That night, Penelope explained that the disguise was invented to get her past the dog fighting league's strict age requirements. However, after winning, the Baron became a celebrity, and she found herself putting on the costume more and more often. But now, with the Black Baron out of the picture, she was free to take up a new path, and she joined the gang without hesitation. The next day, our newest recruit treated us to a week long aerial tour of Holland. She was fitting in just fine.&lt;/span&gt;

===A Cold Alliance===

:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' After a careful analysis of Dr. M's fortress, Bentley came to the difficult conclusion that his demolition skills just weren't gonna be enough. If we wanted to get inside the Cooper Vault, we'd have to recruit a full-time demolitions specialist. However, Bentley's proposed candidate was a ''shock'' - my old enemy, the Panda King. As a member of the original Fiendish Five, he had a part in taking out my dad and stealing pages from the Thievius Raccoonus. Eventually, I caught up with him and I claimed back what he had stolen. There was no way I was gonna let that monster on my team, but Bentley was firm. He discovered the Panda King had left his life of crime and was now a monk living the life of quiet meditation high up in the mountains. I wasn't at all convinced, but there was no denying that he had the skills we needed if we were to succeed… so the gang packed up, put on our disguises and headed east... to China.&lt;/span&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Sly''': Stay sharp, team. For all we know, the Panda King is just as dangerous as ever.
:'''Bentley''': How can you say that? Just look at him. Have you ever seen someone more at peace with the world?
:'''Sly''': I'll admit, he does look kinda &quot;zenned out&quot;.
:'''Bentley''': Uh... Mr. King? Honorable Panda King, we humbly wish to speak with you.
:'''Sly''': I guess he doesn't want to talk. Sorry, Bentley, let's go.
:'''Bentley''': Be realistic, Sly. He's clearly in a deep meditative trance. Hmmm, it'll take some doing, but I think I see a way to get the team up to his shrine.
:'''Murray''': Good! The walk up here tired me out. I don't wanna turn around now. Man, I miss the van. We ''never'' had to walk anywhere back then.
:'''Sly''': Okay, okay. Let's just get this over with.
:'''Bentley''': Murray, you're up first. If you can get to the top of that pillar, you should be able to use your ball move to bounce all the way up to the Panda King.
:'''Murray''': Okay. Bouncing is a lot easier than more walking. Seriously, do you guys wanna see my blisters?
:'''Penelope''': No way! Is he serious?
:'''Guru''': ''[speaking in Diksha]''
:'''Murray''': Yeah. Okay, master. Bouncing, pillars, piece of cake! ''[jumps down]''
:'''Guru''': ''[Speaking Diksha]''
:'''Bentley''': I hear that. Sometimes, you've got to be firm.
:'''Penelope''': No, seriously. Is for real about the blisters? 'Cause, uh... I don't know it. Yeash!

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:''[the same area from [[Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus|the first game]]]''
:'''The Panda King''': I see you carry the cane of the notorious Cooper thief clan. Have you come here for revenge… to steal back the Thievius Raccoonus?
:'''Sly''': Wow! This is like the time I beat the stuffing outta you.
:'''Panda King''': Why should you care if bury a few worthless villages in the snow? You are a thief, just like me.
:'''Sly''': Um, yeah. Are you even listening to what I'm sayin'?
:'''Panda King''': Insolent child, you shall pay dearly for your disrespect. Still, to honor your Cooper ancestry, I will send you to your doom with the beauty of my new firework technique... Flame Fu!
:'''Sly''': ''[short pause]'' Uh, oh.

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:''[after Sly depletes one-fifth of the Panda King's health]''
:'''Sly''': Snap out of it! This is all in your head!
:'''Panda King''': My mind is clear, focused on your destruction!
:'''Sly''': ''[in his head]'' I've got to break him out of this memory loop. Maybe I should...
:''[a list of options is presented to the player; if the player chooses an incorrect, he/she will have to deplete another fifth of the Panda King's health before choosing another option]''

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;Threaten him&quot;]''
:'''Sly''': You know how this'll end. I've already beat you once, I can do it again.
:'''Panda King''': I have NEVER known defeat, I am unbeatable!

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;Play nice&quot;]''
:'''Sly''': Look, I'm here to help you, to get your mind out of this rut.
:'''Panda King''': If you truly wish to aid me, stand still and let my fireballs cook your flesh!

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;Say something from the past&quot;]''
:'''Sly''': You're just a frustrated firework artist turned homicidal pyromaniac.
:'''Panda King''': Am I, am I?! Let us find out!

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;Make him sad&quot;, the correct answer]''
:'''Sly''': We both know why you're here. You're fixated on the moment of your greatest defeat. I beat you, and forever after you've wondered how it all fell apart.
:'''Panda King''': I hate you, Sly Cooper, you've ruined me... ruined the Panda King.
:'''Sly''': And I've hated you, but that doesn't make any of this real. Years have passed a-and we've both changed... Come out of this trance. Let's meet each other as we are today, a-and let go of who we were when this fight occurred.
:'''Panda King''': YOU ARE... ''[calms down]'' correct. ''[bows]'' Forgive me, my mind is not always my own.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' The Panda King wasn't any more excited about the notion of him joining the gang than I was. If it weren't for the Guru who, for some reason, really hit it off with the old guy, the whole deal would've been a bust. We could see the anger in the Panda King's eyes as he recounted how he lost a member of his own family. A daughter who was abducted by a powerful general from the northern mountains. She was to be the bride in a forced marriage to this unscrupulous ruler, and Panda King was exiled. We agreed to help him recover his lost daughter in exchange for his skills in the Cooper Vault job. I still wasn't convinced this was a good idea, but a deal's a deal.&lt;/span&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': We all know that our objective here is to retrieve the Panda King's daughter, Jing King. She's being kept against her will by this man, General Tsao. A real, this guy. During surveillance, I actually witnessed him kick a puppy… twice! He plans on forcing Jing King to marry him next Saturday. Clearly, time is of the essence. Here's the plan - first, I'll approach Tsao in disguise and attempt to get hired as his wedding planner. Hopefully, with a man on the inside, we'll get some news on Jing King. Still, we need more information! Two of us will need to work together to steal a pair of twin keys and break into Tsao's house of business. Once inside, I'll need to utilize some new technology to circumvent their ultra-tight security. Finally, thanks to Penelope's air sweeps, we've picked up an unusual radio signature out in the water. Someone will need to go eyeball the anomaly and figure out what it is. We can't leave anything under chance here, or Jing King lives unhappily ever after.&lt;/span&gt;

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': The operation is running smoothly. With access to General Tsao's database, and Sly successfully hired as the wedding photographer, we're ready to make an attempt for Jing King. Given the complexity of Tsao's downloaded data, I programmed my computer to automatically analyze the— What the…?! G-General Tsao!? He's... he's got my computer! Our whole plan is on that computer! How did he find us?! We're doomed!&lt;/span&gt;
:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': Bentley, calm down! I need you sharp. Listen up, team, this Tsao character is more clever than any of us thought. As of this moment, we have one goal - steal back the ThiefNet computer. The time for subtlety is over. Bentley, break into the palace and ransack his personal computer. He might have linked it to ours. If so, that's where we'll start. The rest of the team will stand ready. No telling where this might take us.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': A-ha, I think I've found something. His diary mentions a secret passage through the prayer bell, then a &quot;walk across the heavens&quot;. You getting this, Sly?
:'''Sly''': ''I'm en route to the bell right now.''
:'''Bentley''': Better bring along the Guru. This sounds like his department.

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:'''Tsao''': Ah, the famous Sly Cooper. It seems you and your little gang were able to follow the trail I left for you. Of course, you'll be helpless without them, as you'll soon discover.
:'''Sly''': I'm not ashamed to rely on my friends.
:'''Tsao''': Who needs friends when you can have servants? Who needs affection when you can have obedience? Ah, why try to convince you when I can simply destroy you? This sacred forest has been the stage for hundreds of battles, as my ancestors crushed anyone who got in their way, and you will be no different.
:'''Sly''': Bentley, are you hearing this? What's he talking about?
:'''Bentley''': ''I've heard of these types of battlegrounds before. The energy from all the fighting that has gone on before strengthens the combatants, allowing them to soar for long distances. You should be able to fly all the way across the arena with'' one ''jump! Plus, you can'' probably ''change directions in the air with your double jump.''
:'''Tsao''': Enough chit-chat, Cooper! Face me now, and prepare for the end of your legacy.

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:''[Sly defeats Tsao in the first round and falls to the ground below. Tsao laughs.]''
:'''Sly''': Come back and take it like a man! ''[jumps down after Tsao]''
:'''Tsao''': Well done, &quot;esteemed wedding photographer&quot;. I'm impressed you've lasted this long.
:'''Sly''': Stop this, Tsao. Release Jing King and this fight can end.
:'''Tsao''': No! Jing King is mine. Once our bloodlines cross, it shall be glorious. The Panda King, in his day, was magnificent. With the Tsao name, a new generation of Kings will be unstoppable!
:'''Sly''': But she doesn't want to marry you!
:'''Tsao''': She's a woman, she doesn't know up from down. Once I &quot;convinced&quot; her father to take up meditation, she was ripe for the picking.
:'''Sly''': I've faced a lot of bad men in my time, but you, sir, are the worst.
:'''Tsao''': Oh, it gets worse, Cooper. Up until now, I've gone easy on you, but now... ''now'' you'll sample the ancient black arts of the family Tsao!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Tsao''': You have won this battle, but the war rages on! ''[hands over Bentley's laptop]'' Take your foolish computer. It won't help you. Jing King is mine.
:'''Sly''': Jing King is a person, not property… and sorry, pal, but we're ending this ''right now. [coughs after Tsao throws a smoke bomb and escapes]'' (Or not.)
:'''Tsao''': Beware... beware the power of Tsao!

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': Thankfully, we've managed to retrieve the ThiefNet computer. However, all of the plans stored inside are now compromised! The wedding is still on. Jing King remains Tsao's prisoner. Yes, we are going to free her, but that's not enough. No, for this heist, we really need to put the screws to this guy. He's earned it, so we're cleaning out his treasury as well. A feat impossible without Murray's van. Unfortunately, all that time in the ice has ruined its polycellular battery. I'll need Sly's help to acquire a new one, which won't be easy, as the General's gone all out with security. He's even resorted to black magic dragons and hopping vampires patrolling the streets. We'll need to even the odds before the wedding. Sly, you and the Panda King will work to gather some fireworks and blow up the vampires' crypt. No crypt, no more vampires.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': ''That's it, one of Tsao's firework stashes for the ceremony.''
:'''Sly''': This lock looks pretty standard, but I'll need some help carrying the goods.
:'''Bentley''': ''The Panda King is the man for the job, he's strong, good with explosives and capable of dealing with multiple opponents. Once we get enough fireworks, he should be capable of blowing the hopping vampire crypt sky-high.''
:'''Sly''': Look, Bentley, I know you believe in the guy, but... I don't trust him yet.
:'''Bentley''': ''You don't have a choice, he's the only man for the job. I'll go get him and send him your way.''

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:''[Bentley meets up with the Panda King in his quarters]''
:'''Bentley''': This is it, Panda King. We need you for a field mission. Sly's trying to break into a fireworks cache and he needs help.
:'''Panda King''': Fine. I will be there presently... You may go.
:'''Bentley''': Look, I don't mind telling you I'm putting my neck on the line here... we're all counting on you.
:'''Panda King''': I... will mind your neck.
:''[Bentley leaves; the Panda King heads to a mirror to talk with his inner self]''
:'''Panda King''': Hello, old friend. I'm about to work alongside Sly Cooper, and I cannot carry you with me on the journey.
:'''Inner Panda King''': You fool! This is your chance for revenge! He humiliated us! Ruined us! Made us weak!
:'''Panda King''': Humiliation was a crossroads. I have chosen to walk the path of humility.
:'''Inner Panda King''': Humility that cost you your daughter! Destroy Cooper now!
:'''Panda King''': ''[in his head]'' My mind is fractured. No action can be taken until he and I are in unison. Cooper is at the center. Sly must live...
:''[a group of options is presented to the player]''

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;To help save Jing King&quot;]''
:'''Panda King''': Without Cooper and his associates, I stand little chance of rescuing Jing King.
:'''Inner Panda King''': Little chance?! Allow yourself to dip into my hateful fury, and we can save Jing King single-handed!
:'''Panda King''': Such an action would cost many lives.
:'''Inner Panda King''': Your path to moderation will cost you Jing King!

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;So that you may live&quot;]''
:'''Panda King''': Without Cooper, who would you have to hate? Your reason to cling inside my mind would be gone.
:'''Inner Panda King''':  No. If you killed Cooper, it would be ''you'' who would disappear. I would take your place!

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:''[if the player chooses &quot;To teach us humility&quot;, the correct answer]''
:'''Panda King''': Cooper is a teacher of humility. We have slain his parents, yet he manages to trust us. By studying him, we will become whole.
:'''Inner Panda King''': I have no desire to join with my weaker side. You are failure. I am the strength that used to be, the once glorious Panda King!
:'''Panda King''': You are strong, and I am humble... but, only through cooperation will we become the father Jing King needs.
:'''Inner Panda King''': The Yin and the Yang?
:'''Panda King''': If strength were all that mattered, Tsao would be an ideal son-in-law.
:'''Inner Panda King''': Very well, Cooper shall live.

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:'''Panda King''': Fear not, Cooper. I shall not kill you this day.
:'''Sly''': Um... Ditto.

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': Time to free Jing King, rob General Tsao blind, and send him up the river! I call it &quot;Operation - Wedding Crasher&quot;. This will be a multi-pronged job, with 2 groups working simultaneously. I'm sure I don't need to stress the importance of the schedule to anyone. First; Sly, Penelope and Murray will make their way past all the security in Tsao's Treasure Temple and then drop the goods off to me for loading into the van. Meanwhile, the Panda King and (the) Guru will tunnel beneath the palace, creating an escape route for Jing King. Sly, you'll have to pull double duty, taking care of any topside security designed to detect subterranean assaults. Once you guys are done, I'll use my Grapple-Cam to lure Inspector Fox into the palace, where we'll try to get her to take Jing King's place! Then with the girl and (the) loot in hand, we run for it!&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Sly''': Hey, Murray. Tsao's on his way to your position. How you coming with the treasure?
:'''Murray''': We're doing awesome! Stand aside, Penelope. Cannonball!
:'''Penelope''': No, wait!
:'''Murray''': Uh, oh…

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:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' General Tsao had his wedding right on schedule. Everything was as he'd arranged... except the bride came as kind of a shock. Carmelita was a little disappointed it wasn't me she busted at the alter, although I doubt she minded taking Tsao into custody. He did after all plague the streets with the undead. From what I hear, the locals were happy to see him go. We dropped off Jing King with her aunt. The Panda King insisted that she'd be safe there and that he needed to pay off his debt to the gang. I was still wary, but there was no denying that his skills would come in handy. Needless to say, we lived it up in the backstreets of Shanghai. What kind of gang of thieves would we be if we passed up on recreation like that?&lt;/span&gt;

===Dead Men Tell No Tales===

:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' We got the message late one Saturday night. Dimitri was calling in the favor I'd promised him back in Holland. He'd gone ahead and booked the whole team passage under assumed identities... to none other than Blood Bath Bay. Easily the most lawless town on Earth, it's home to a group of cultural hermits who doggedly maintain the ways of their pirate forefathers. The cruise over gave us some time to get the rundown from Dimitri. I guess his grandfather, Reme Lousteau, was a pioneer in deep sea diving. He'd made a fortune looting undersea wrecks. Although, his luck ran short when a young cutthroat by the name of Black Spot Pete stole not only his loot, but his precious diving gear as well. A broken man, Reme retired from treasure hunting and eventually started a family. Dimitri, growing up on his grandfather's stories, dreamed of one day recovering the gear. So that was our task. We'd been called in to get our hands on this miraculous diving equipment. Not all bad, really. If things go our way, the team might get a frogman out of the deal, which Bentley figures will be a big help cracking the Cooper Vault.&lt;/span&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Bentley''': ''There he is. Black Spot Pete.''
:'''Sly''': I didn't think pirates could get that old. Thought scurvy would get them or something.
:'''Bentley''': ''Don't lower your guard for an instant. All pirates are killers, plain as that, and they don't trust outsiders at all. How's your pirate accent?''
:'''Sly''': ''[pirate accent]'' Arggh, I forgot me #2 pencil for the scantron test. (''[normal voice]'' How's that?)
:'''Bentley''': ''Joke all you want, but that guy won't help us out until you earned his trust.''

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:'''Sly''': Black Spot Pete, I've come to talk of treasure, a subject I hear you're familiar with.
:'''Black Spot Pete''': Treasure! Aye, but I won't chatter with the likes of you on so blessed a subject. Get out of m'sight, landlubber! All my years, I only spoke of the golden kindness with m'partner, Cantankerous Tim.
:'''Sly''': Maybe we can work out a bargain.
:'''Pete''': Shut your mouth hole, lubber, or I'll cork it with my cutlass! Hard on the tonsils, I assure ye!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Sly''': Salt of the Earth that Black Spot Pete.
:'''Bentley''': ''It's clear to get anywhere with the old coot, we'll need to fool him into thinking that you're Cantankerous Tim.''
:'''Sly''': What happened to Tim anyway?
:'''Bentley''': ''His lieutenants mutinied on the old guy and divided the plunder, including his captain outfit.''
:'''Sly''': This is the only real pirate town left. They got to be around here somewhere.
:'''Bentley''': ''You're right. That's Stone Jake, toughest guy you'll ever meet. He took the eye patch.''
:'''Sly''': Hmm, tough enough to take an anchor dropped on his head?
:'''Bentley''': ''Good plan. That'll do the job,'' matey. ''Stone Jake has a thing about monkeys. If you whack the palm trees, he's sure to come running. Perfect for luring him under the anchor.''

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': Thanks to Black Spot Pete, we've got a lead on Reme Lousteau's treasure. It's buried somewhere on Dagger Island, a landmass many leagues from our current position. To make the voyage, we'll need to steal a pirate ship from the harbor. No easy feat given the cutthroat nature of these... cutthroats. First, Murray and Sly will steal a jollyboat and blast the rudders off any ships that could chase us out into the open ocean. The action is sure to provoke the harbor patrol, so be prepared for a sea battle. With them out of the way, no one can stop us from leaving harbor. Meanwhile, Penelope and I will work together to break into LeFwee's keep and steal the map to the buried treasure. Once both objectives are reached, we'll steal a ship and set sail for Dagger Island, then it'll be a simple matter of following the map and digging up the loot.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': I wish I could walk on tightropes and land on flagpoles, but I can't.
:'''Penelope''': You can do other stuff. Sly can't rewire a satellite or write [[w:ASCII|ASCII]] code.
:'''Bentley''': Sly can't even spell ASCII.

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:'''Dimitri''': ''Granpapa's treasure! Hold the beat, bro. I come to help you dig, dig?''
:'''Murray''': ''We're all coming, Sly. This is too cool!''
:'''Sly''': Well, Dimitri, it's your loot. I think you should have the honor.
:'''Dimitri''': I open with joy. You Cooper Gang is a tight groove. Van Gogh Bullseye! The primo diving gear to accentuate my deep-down diving style!
:'''Penelope''': It's so intricate. Your grandfather was an artist. I've never seen such fine craftsmanship.
:'''Dimitri''': He had the juice, check it! The gear even matches my suit! I can dance, dive and accessorize!
:'''Sly''': What else is in this chest?

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': Clearly, the only goal at this point is saving our teammate and friend, Penelope. LeFwee's ship, the ''Death's Head'', has sailed back to Blood Bath Bay with her on board as captive. Things look grim. There's no way we'll be able to sneak into the harbor. Even the backside of the island is inaccessible due to reefs. To put it plainly, we're in for a fight. LeFwee is an intelligent opponent, and we'll need to do everything in our power to stack the odds in our favor. First, we'll put Dimitri's new diving gear to use by salvaging some weapons from a nearby shipwreck. We'll need the extra firepower to deal any kind of damage to the armor-enforced Death's Head. It'll also come in handy for our second objective - destroying the Red Sail Sea Dog Clan. They're a fleet of mercenaries on LeFwee's books. We need to surprise them now while they hunt us in small groups. If they ever attacked in unison, there's no way we'd make it out alive. And finally, we'll set sail for the misty waters inhabited by a sea monster the pirates call &quot;Crusher&quot;. Reports on Crusher are sketchy, but we might learn something by analyzing its technique. I know for a fact that all of LeFwee's men fear it. An impressive and useful trait given our current situation.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Bentley''': These deep misty waters are said to be home to the monster. Keep a sharp eye out.
:'''Sly''': Sorry, Bentley, but I can't see a thing in this fog. If your sea monster is here, there's no way we'll find him.
:'''Bentley''': It's imperative we track it down and discover why the pirates fear it so vehemently. Panda King, do you have any fireworks that might light the place up a little, make it easier to spot the creature?
:'''Panda King''': My fireworks are not flares. They burst with ferocious beauty and then disappear like the lightning.
:'''Sly''': We should really get out of here. With visibility this bad, we might sail into a rock. The boat might take some real damage. ''[Crusher destroys the ship masts]'' Okay, now that's some real damage.
:'''Panda King''': The sea monster is upon us! Go below deck and placate the others. I will confront this creature with my firework artistry!
:'''Sly''': Give a shout if you need any back up. I'll stand ready.

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': Operation — Reverse Double-Cross! Our goal, as we all know, is to save Penelope. Given her crafty nature, LeFwee has undoubtedly locked her up in one of his most secure locations. They are... 1 - the Skull Keep, and 2 - the brig of the ''Death's Head''. Our team is too small to assault both simultaneously, so we'll have to fall back on a little sleight of hand. First, we sail in and exchange broadsides with the Death's Head. Armed with the element of surprise and our cannon upgrades, it should be a fair fight, but remember, Penelope might be on board, so we cannot sink this ship. Once the masts fall, Sly should jump onto the enemy vessel and then promptly surrender. A necessary step for 2 reasons. First, that boat is packed with pirates: way too many to fight hand to hand. And second, it's the best way to get an audience with LeFwee. Given his smug nature, he's sure to brag where she's hidden if we can get him angry enough. Got that, Sly? Irritate the daylights out of this guy. It's our best and only chance to rescue Penelope. Once he talks, we roll out plan A or B, depending on the situation. This LeFwee is a smart man. Our only hope is to outsmart him at his own game.&lt;/span&gt;

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:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' LeFwee was beat, outsmarted by our own resident genius who'd done more than just rescue a team member, he'd won himself... a girlfriend. It was nice to hear 'em talk. They'd have these conversations the rest of us couldn't even follow. Far as I could tell, they were made for each other. Dimitri was in love too. The new diving gear had gone to his head. We were &quot;informed&quot; that he'd be our new frogman for the Cooper Vault job… not that any of us had even asked him. For the first time in memory, Carmelita didn't show up and cart everyone to jail. Aw, well. I'll send her a postcard. You know, I'd hate for her to feel left out.&lt;/span&gt;

===Hono(u)r Among Thieves===

:&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;'''Sly''': ''[narrating]'' All these memories, they just bring you back to the same place - getting crushed to death in the fist of some genetics experiment gone wrong. Not the way I thought I'd go out. Shame, really. Now that we've got this big gang... gang, more like a pack of misfits. Either way, we'd become a team. We had some real potential there. Could've pulled off some big jobs. We were so close. The door to the Cooper Vault was opening, but that Dr. M… If there's any justice, he'll get his. I just wish I had seen what was in there. A stockpile of my family's accomplishments. Would I have measured up? What would I contribute? Would my father have been proud of me or ashamed? Funny, but here I am at the end and suddenly all I can think about is what a coward I've been towards Carmelita. Never took the next step. Looking at Bentley and Penelope, it's clear what life is about. If Carmelita was here, I'd tell her straight out how I feel and quit playing around. Put our professional differences aside and see if we could make it work. But that'll never happen now. Can't take this crushing! Just let the pain stop.&lt;/span&gt;

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:'''Dr. M''': You harpy witch! Why are the police invading my home?
:'''Carmelita''': I'm here to see that justice is done.
:'''Dr. M''': Justice? ''I'm'' the victim here, defending what's mine from thieves!
:'''Carmelita''': Looked to me like you were attempting to murder that man.
:'''Dr. M''': &quot;That man&quot;. Please, you know this is Sly Cooper. You're as transparent as you are narrow-minded.
:'''Carmelita''': Cooper is a criminal. I'm here to bring him and all lawbreakers to justice.
:'''Dr. M''': I'm no lawbreaker, it was all self-defense!
:'''Carmelita''': First things first, put Cooper down and we'll talk terms.
:'''Dr. M''': Sorry, madam cop, I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. Although, I can throw you a long long way. ''[turns to his mutant]'' Go and smash that woman. Crush her bones to paste and toss her into the sea where no one will ever find her. ''[Carmelita and the mutant sail away on the police boat.]'' Now to find that cane. I can't believe this idiot just brought it to me. Poor fool, he looks just like his father... and he's just as dead.
:'''Bentley''': ''[discover Sly unconscious]'' Sly!? ''[to the team]'' He's over here! He's still breathing…? He's alive! ''[to Sly]'' Hang in there, pal. You're going to be okay. We'll get you back to the ship and patch you up.

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:'''Bentley''': Sly's gonna make it, although he's suffered a major concussion. If he were up and about, I'm sure he'd want us to retrieve his family cane.
:'''Dimitri''': Go grab the thing! Jump in, do the swim and take it. Legit, eh, my main man bro?
:'''Penelope''': Won't be that simple. That's an electromagnetic buoy. Dr. M has set them up all around the island to snag approaching metal boats. We just lucked out that we came here in a wooden ship.
:'''Bentley''': ''[to Dimitri]'' She's right. Get too close, and your diving gear will magnetize to it.

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:'''Penelope''': Bentley's tending to Sly. He wanted me to prep you for the mission.
:'''Dimitri''': Oui. The turtle dude made sounds for le scuba, so here you go, baby - Dimitri au naturel. Your plan, she's worked to perfection.
:'''Penelope''': My plan to get you alone in a swimsuit?
:'''Dimitri''': Come clean, my lovely, and play your cards straight. These are dangerous waters, and I'm a big, strong, macho, macho man!
:'''Penelope''': Okay. 1st, get over yourself. 2nd, I mean it, get over yourself. And 3rd, jump into that water and find Sly's cane. It's the key to the Cooper Vault. We can't lose it.
:'''Dimitri''': Salty language from such sweet lips. ''[singing] I'll dive, baby.&lt;br /&gt;I dive for the love.''

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:'''Dimitri''': ''[jumps back onto the ship]'' That rude dude threw down heavyweight. I had him solid, but he ran, baby! Ran, and now I'm flat nowhere!
:'''Penelope''': You were... magnificent! Alone against the creature, trapped in an undersea cave.
:'''Dimitri''': How about a kiss for my Monsieur Magnificento? My lips are warm like bread from the oven.
:'''Penelope''': Slow down. Remember rules 1 and 2? Both of which told you to get over yourself.
:'''Dimitri''': Both before my magnificence! Yum yum, give me some!
:'''Penelope''': I'm gonna check on Bentley. You have fun being you.
:'''Dimitri''': I'm &quot;mag&quot; to the &quot;jag&quot; to the &quot;efficient&quot;, baby! ''[goes below deck]''
:''[Sly comes out.]''
:'''Penelope''': Sly, you're up!
:'''Bentley''': He should be back in bed after the thrashing he took. Another blow to the head and your brain could snap!
:'''Sly''': Quit your worrying, I feel fine. Did Dimitri find my cane?
:'''Penelope''': No. (Well, sort of… but...) Dr. M managed to get away with it.
:'''Sly''': Then we gotta go.
:'''Bentley''': You're going nowhere, pal. Any attempt on Dr. M or the Cooper Vault will be impossible with these radar towers linked to the missile turrets. Wait a second. Penelope, have you completed that work we talked about on your RC car?
:'''Penelope''': Yeah... Oh, I see where your going. That'll work! Smash the drones, siphon their power and fry the towers' matrix.
:'''Bentley''': Perfect. Let's get your car onto a drone patrol pipe!
:'''Sly''': Not to be too obvious in exposing my ignorance, but... what in the world are you two talking about?
:'''Penelope''': Explaining it would include a lot of multisyllabic words, I could just show you.
:'''Sly Cooper''': Bring on the demo.
:'''Penelope''': Panda King, can you launch my RC car to that pipe?
:'''Panda King''': Ha! With the fireworks, it will fly as the bird! ''[launches the RC car]'' Fly, bird! Fly!
:'''Bentley''': ''Alright, my sweet princess of electronic dominance. Time to smash things up. Use the L2 button and the R2 button to activate your vehicle's punchers. Knock the security drones off the track with your punchers and pick up their ball energy. Get enough, and I'll open up the jump gate to the radar tower.''

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:'''Dr. M''': '''''Ha-ha! You and your foolish friends keep trying to beat me with your guns! They're like toys to my creatures. If this Whale-Fly had vocal cords he'd laugh in your silly little faces!''' [laughs]''
:'''Sly''': ''This isn't working, Bentley. He's literally laughing at us.''
:'''Bentley''': ''Just give me time. I... I'll think of something!''
:'''Sly''': ''I'm settling this now. Face to face.''
:'''Bentley''': ''Paragliding over to that creature!? You're out of your mind!''
:''[Sly confronts Dr. M]''
:'''Dr. M''': Headstrong, just like your father.
:'''Sly''': You don't know anything about me or my father.
:'''Dr. M''': Really? Who let you in on the secret of this place, eh? Was it my old pal McSweeney, perhaps?
:'''Sly''': McSweeney works for you? This was all a setup to get the cane!
:'''Dr. M''': No, my boy. Once upon a time, he and I worked together... for your dear old dad.
:'''Sly''': My father wouldn't have run with a guy who'd try to steal from the Cooper Vault, let alone attempt to kill his son.
:'''Dr. M''': Time does strange things to people. Just look at the real leader of your gang - Bentley!
:'''Sly''': Whatever! We're friends, equals!
:'''Dr. M''': Then ''why'' is it called the Cooper Gang, you self-centered egomaniac?!
:'''Sly''': That's enough! ''[retrieves the cane and Dr. M laughs as he retreats]'' Time to meet the past. ''[paraglides down to the door of the vault and opens it]'' Bentley, you there?
:'''Bentley''': ''Yeah, pal.''
:'''Sly''': I'm about to head inside the vault… and I want you and Murray to come with me. We're a team, a family. We should do this together.
:'''Bentley''': ''Okay, be right up… partner.''
:'''Murray''': ''Nice! We'll have the Panda King give the van a boost! Stand clear, Sly! We're about to get awesome!''
:'''Panda King''': ''[lights the fireworks; gleefully]'' The fuse is lit!
:'''Murray''': ''Buckle up, Bentley... We're about to fly! [the van shoots up into the air] '''YAHOO!'''''
:''[the van lands at the entrance to the Cooper Vault]''
:'''Bentley''': ''We're'' never ''doing that again.''

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:'''Bentley''': This place is amazing!
:'''Murray''': Yeah, it's got to be like at least (over) 100 years old!
:'''Bentley''': An archeological marvel!
:'''Sly''': Glad you boys are impressed 'cause it looks like I'll have to go on from here alone.

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:'''Sly''': ''[reaches his dad's section of the vault]'' This must be my father's work. ''[activates a device that beams lasers across the gap to the other side]'' How am I supposed to get through this thing? He made this challenge for a move I've never learned. There's nothing like this in the Thievius Raccoonus. Come on, dad. Help me out here. ''[rail slides on the lasers]'' Nice work, dad. ''[reaches a door at the end of the laser path]'' This must be the inner sanctum! Wish Bentley and Murray were here for this.

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:'''Murray''': This is going to be the payday of all time! Think of all the loot piled up back there.
:'''Bentley''': Do you ever feel like you're playing second fiddle to Sly, like he treats us as sidekicks?
:'''Murray''': No way, Sly's cool. We're all in this together.
:'''Bentley''': Sure, we're all here, but are we equal? Who went into the vault? Sly… by himself. ''[doesn't noticed a guard behind him]''
:'''Murray''': ''[sees the guard]'' Watch out! ''[punches it]''
:'''Bentley''': Dr. M's goons!? They must have forced the door after we opened the lock.
:'''Murray''': Think of it this way, Bentley. If it were you in that vault and Sly and I were out here, what would he do?
:'''Bentley''': Stop these thugs and protect his friend.
:'''Murray''': Right, and that's what I'm going to do. Keep your head down, stay clear. I'm gonna smash a lot of skulls, and I don't want yours to be one of them. ''[to the guards]'' Come and get it, maggots! I've got a knuckle sandwich for all of ya, and it's chow time. Chow frickin' down!

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:'''Murray''': ''[defeats all of the guards]'' Yeah! You're all knocked down, and the Murray stands tall! Like a freakin' totem pole of strongism!
:'''Dr. M''': Ah, Murray, you're much stronger than McSweeney ever was.
:'''Murray''': That's right, plug-head! I'm like a semi truck with its brakes cut!
:'''Dr. M''': I don't have time to get into a screaming match with a caveman like yourself.
:'''Bentley''': Then lock horns with me. Think you'll find I'm a better match.
:'''Dr. M''': I have no fight with you Bentley. You and I are the same.
:'''Bentley''': I gather you were the technical specialist working with Sly's father?
:'''Murray''': You knew Sly's dad?
:'''Dr. M''': Quiet, caveman. The adults are talking. That's right, Bentley. I know the pain you suffer working under your inferior.
:'''Bentley''': It's no secret, I'm smarter than the other guys. But there's more to it than that.
:'''Dr. M''': ''[chuckles]'' Like what?
:'''Bentley''': Like brotherhood.
:'''Dr. M''': Brotherhood? ''[chuckles]'' That's just what he wants you to think. It's a tool to keep you in line.
:'''Bentley''': No, that's the thing that keeps us happy and alive. It's why I'm going to stop you.
:'''Murray''': And me too.
:'''Dr. M''': Fine, &quot;Cooper Gang.&quot; I tried.
:'''Murray''': Caveman attack! ''[charges at Dr. M and locks him in a grapple]'' This guy's stronger than he looks. Need some help!
:'''Penelope''': ''Bentley, those statues look like ancient security devices. Maybe if you took the treasure off the top of them and put it on Dr. M's back, they might activate.''

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:'''Dr. M''': ''[groans]'' Well played, Bentley, but it was a meaningless gesture. According to the tracking device I planted on Sly's cane, he's just entered the inner sanctum. I can use the collected positional data to get through the gauntlet with ease!
:'''Bentley''': That hall's for Coopers only!
:'''Dr. M''': Maybe it's time for men such as you and I to change all that! ''[enters the vault, following Sly]''
:'''Murray''': He's getting away! What do we do?
:'''Bentley''': I... I'll think of something, just give me time.
:'''Murray''': You know something, Bentley?
:'''Bentley''': What?
:'''Murray''': You think awesome!
:'''Bentley''': Thanks, pal.

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:'''Sly''': This is just overwhelming! Amazing! How'd Thaddeus make a flying machine in the 1800s? Bet this thing still works.
:'''Dr. M''': Oh, I'm sure it's operational.
:'''Sly''': Dr. M, glad you could see all this. I know you've been looking forward to it.
:'''Dr. M''': Looking forward to all of this… and your death!
:'''Sly''': Come on, aren't we supposed to banter a little?
:'''Dr. M''': I only talk with my equals, and Bentley said no.

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:'''Dr. M''': You've got some moxy, Sly. I'll give you that.
:'''Sly''': I don't know what went down between you and my father, but I'm telling you it's not the same with me and Bentley.
:'''Dr. M''': You might be right. He risked his life to defend you.
:'''Sly''': I'd do the same for him.
:'''Dr. M''': Funny. Your father was never such a good friend.
:'''Sly''': We're all individuals. I might be a part of all this - a member of the Cooper line, but in the end, I'm just me. Not Henriette, Thaddeus, Slytunkhamen, Rioichi or my father. Just Sly.
:'''Dr. M''': Please! Keep your touchy-feely rhetoric to yourself! I can't stomach it! You Coopers are a bunch of dirty, attention-grubbing thieves! All of you, thieves!
:'''Carmelita''': ''[enters the inner sanctum]'' Hold it right there. ''Both'' of you thieves are going to jail!
:'''Sly''': Nice to see you, gorgeous.
:'''Carmelita''': You too.
:'''Dr. M''': Ah, a love interest. I might be beaten, but I'll make you suffer!
:'''Sly''': Not her! ''[saves Carmelita by blocking Dr. M's shot]''
:'''Carmelita''': No one hurts my criminal!

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:''[Carmelita subdues Dr. M and rushes over to Sly.]''
:'''Sly''': ''[grunts]'' What happened?
:'''Carmelita''': Sly?
:'''Sly''': Where are we? What is this place?
:'''Carmelita''': Sly? Can you remember anything?
:'''Sly''': No. Who're you? You look familiar.
:'''Carmelita''': I'm Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox.
:'''Sly''': And... who am I?
:'''Carmelita''': You... You're my partner, Constable Cooper.
:'''Sly''': Well, partner, we'd better get out of here. The ceiling's gonna go. We haven't much time.
:'''Carmelita''': Let's go.
:'''Bentley''': ''[enters the inner sanctum]'' Sly, you in here?! Sly!?

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:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''': ''[narrating]'' We watched as Dr. M just stood there, unwilling to leave as the walls caved in on the vault. He'd spent his life lusting over the Cooper fortune, and he wasn't going to give it up, no matter what the cost. Our exit was a little rough, but Murray managed to get us out just in time to witness the final fate of the Cooper legacy. It was a bittersweet moment; the end of the road always is. We both looked on, lost in our thoughts, thinking back on all of the adventures that had brought us here. The people we'd met and places we'd seen. We'd worked for a long time to get Sly into that vault, and now its secrets were hidden again, this time for good. I can only hope that he'd found what he was looking for in there. We searched every inch of the island for Sly, retrieving the gang one by one, only to make the surprising discovery that he didn't want to be found. As always, he'd left a calling card. Only this time, it was worth millions. The months rolled by and when Sly still hadn't shown up, Murray headed back east to complete his training with the Guru. Without Sly as our leader, for the first time, we each had to step out on our own. A difficult thing - we'd been together ever since we'd met at the orphanage. To this day, Murray and I are still close. Recently, he's been trying to break into the pro racing circuit, stock van class. Things are looking good. He's got a unique talent for living through crashes other people would have found fatal. Just always bounces clear. And of course, there's Penelope, my new partner in crime. Let me tell ya, I'm in love! She and I have set out on a journey that I never would have dreamed up while running with Sly and Murray, although I hope our paths will cross again soon. So, while this might be the end of our adventures together, it could be the start of something even bigger. Time will tell, ''literally'', 'cause I'm building a time machine to find out!&lt;/span&gt;

====Ending====

:&lt;span style=color:green&gt;'''Bentley''' ''[narrating]'': ''[photo of Dimitri]'' Dimitri went on to become a celebrity skin diver. The ladies flocked to him, and so did the money. I got a postcard from him once. It said &quot;I'm here, wish you were fine. Like me.&quot; He's his own man. ''[Panda King in his rocking chair]'' The Panda King returned to China and lived a happy life living 2 doors down from his beloved daughter. She, of course, was pleased to have him screen all of her future suitors. As of yet, she's still unmarried. ''[photo of Guru]'' The Guru returned to the outback and took on some new Dreamtime students, one of which was a high-profile rockstar that brought a lot of unwanted media attention. Last I heard, he was hiding out in [[New York City]]. Figured it was the last place they'd ever look. ''[looking through his binocucom, only to find Sly and Carmelita on a balcony, holding hands; Sly turns to Bentley and winks at him]'' That sneaky devil!&lt;/span&gt;

==Cast==
* Kevin Miller as Sly Cooper
* Matt Olsen as Bentley
* Chris Murphy as Murray
* Ruth Livier as Carmelita Fox
* David Scully as Dimitri Lousteau, Octavio and LeFwee
* Rick May as Dr. M
* Kevin Blackton as Panda King and Muggshot
* Annette Toughtenti as Penelope
* Terry Rose as Guru

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2005 video games]]
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    <title>Sarah Silverman</title>
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        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
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      <text bytes="12361" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Sarah Silverman.jpg|thumb|right|People are always introducing me as &quot;Sarah Silverman, [[Jews|Jewish]] comedian.&quot; I ''hate'' that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm ''white''!]]
'''[[w:Sarah Silverman|Sarah Kate Silverman]]''' (born [[2 December]] [[1970]]) is an American comedian, actress, and writer. Her comedy addresses social [[taboo]]s and controversial topics, including [[racism]], [[sexism]], [[homophobia]], [[politics]], and [[religion]], sometimes having her comic character endorse them in a [[Satire|satirical]] or [[w:deadpan|deadpan]] fashion. She has won two [[w:Primetime Emmy Award|Primetime Emmy Award]]s for her work on television.

==Quotes==
===1990s===
[[File:Sarah Silverman 3 BBF 2010 Shankbone.jpg|thumb|right|You look like my friend Debbie. That's really ''weird'' … do you get that a lot?]]
* You look like my friend Debbie. That's really ''weird'' … do you get that a lot? — It's sad, though, 'cause you know, we're not really friends anymore. But, uh, it's not your fault. Seriously, it was 'cause she's, um … not &quot;born again Christian&quot; … oh! — &quot;pathological liar.&quot;
** Comments to a member of the audience, in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEb-sXmcMLE &quot;Sarah Silverman-Early Standup (1992)]

*Once I was with two men in one night. But I could never do it again&amp;mdash;I could hardly walk afterward. Two dinners? That's a lot of food.
**''Penthouse'' magazine (December 1999)

===2000s===
[[File:Sarah Silverman 2010.jpg|thumb|right| I wrote, &quot;I love chinks.&quot; And who doesn't?]]
* I got jury duty … and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, &quot;You should write something really really [[Racism|racist]] on the form when you return it. Like, you should put 'I hate chinks'.&quot; And I said, &quot;I'm not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I don't want people to think that about me.&quot; So instead I wrote, &quot;I love chinks.&quot; And who doesn't?
** ''The Conan O'Brien Show'' (11 July 2001) In the original joke, Silverman had said &quot;niggers&quot; instead of &quot;chinks&quot;, the network asked her to change it from the first to the latter. The network and O'Brien then apologized for airing this statement, Silverman did not, stating that it was plainly satirizing the racist thought process.

* I'm so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse.
** To [[w:Courtney Love|Courtney Love]] on her [[w:Comedy Central|Comedy Central]] Roast of Pamela Anderson (14 August 2005)

* I commend you on all you've done for [[w:People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals|PETA]], wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.
** To [[w:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]] on the [[w:Comedy Central|Comedy Central]] Roast (14 August 2005)

* Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people that believe it was the blacks.
** ''The New Yorker'' (24 October 2005)

* I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls &quot;the real way&quot;.&lt;br&gt;I always think I should get on it if I want to have kids. Because once you hit thirty it can be difficult to conceive — it can be dangerous. The best time to conceive is when you're a black teenager.
** ''Rolling Stone'' (3 November 2005)

[[File:Sarah Silverman BBF 2010 Shankbone.jpg|thumb|right|[[Jesus]]' words have become so perverted over time — it's been like a [[w:Chinese whispers|game of telephone]].]]
* I don't believe in [[Jesus]] or [[God]]. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love. Jesus' words have become so perverted over time — it's been like a [[w:Chinese whispers|game of telephone]]. If he existed, Jesus would fuckin' kill himself.
** Interview with boyfriend [[Jimmy Kimmel]] for ''Esquire'' magazine (January 2007)

* Wow! She is amazing. She is 25 years old and she's already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life. It's mind blowing … have you seen [[Britney Spears|Britney]]'s kids? Oh my god, they are the most adorable mistakes you will ever see! They are as cute as the hairless vagina they came out of!
** [[w:MTV Video Music Awards|MTV Video Music Awards]] (9 September 2007)

* This song brings me back … I was brutally raped to this song.
** In response to the DJ playing [[w:Motley Crue|Motley Crue]]'s &quot;Girls Girls Girls&quot; as her intro. ''Holllywood Improv''

*People who call themselves [[w:diva|divas]]...you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a [[w:cunt|cunt]].
**''[[w:Real Time with Bill Maher|Real Time with Bill Maher]]'' episode 145, 13 March 2009

*Hey, is it considered molestation if the child makes the first move?  I'm gonna need a quick answer on this.
**[https://twitter.com/sarahksilverman/status/2509815140 6 July 2009 tweet] on Twitter ([http://archive.is/uI8Lf archived])

==== ''[[w:Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic|Jesus Is Magic]]'' (2005) ====
[[File:Silverman, Sarah (WGAS).jpg|thumb|right|I love you more than bears love honey, &lt;br&gt; I love you more than Jews love money]]
[[File:Sarah Silverman with the Jesus Dress Up magnet set.png|thumb|right|If my boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we'll just be honest with it. We'll say that mommy is one of God's chosen people, and daddy believes that [[Jesus]] is [[magic]]!]]

* ''I love you more than bears love honey, &lt;br&gt; I love you more than Jews love money, &lt;br&gt;I love you more than Asians are good at math.&lt;br&gt; I love you even if it's not hip, &lt;br&gt;I love you more than black guys don't tip, &lt;br&gt;I love you like Puerto Ricans need baths.''
** Satirical song

* A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis. And I thought, &quot;Oh my God — I'm turning into my mother!&quot;

* I dated a guy who was half-black, but he dumped me because I'm such a loser. Wow, I shouldn't say things like that, I'm such a pessimist … he's actually half-white.

* I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.

* I saw my father's penis once. But it was okay, because I was soooo young … and sooo drunk.

* I want to get an abortion. But my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving.

* I've sued my manager for sexual harassment. And it's real hard, and a big strain on me. Because he hasn't done anything.

* I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

* I wear this [[w:Saint Christopher|Saint Christopher]] medal sometimes because — I'm Jewish — but my boyfriend is Catholic. It was cute, the way he gave it to me. He said if it doesn't burn through my skin, it will protect me. Who cares? Different religions.&lt;br&gt;The only time it's an issue, I suppose, would be like if you're having a baby and you've got to figure out how you want to raise it. Which still wouldn't be an issue for us, because we'd be … honest, and just say, you know, like, &quot;Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that [[Jesus]] is ''[[magic]]''!&quot;

* The writers of &quot;Sanford and Son&quot; were so brave in bringing their program to television. I mean, working with all those black people!

* When God gives you AIDS — and God ''does'' give you AIDS — make lemon-AIDS!

* I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, ''[in a gruff male voice]'' &quot;I want pussy!&quot; Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but ''[flattered smile]'' he was talking about ''me''!

* People are always introducing me as &quot;Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne.&quot; I ''hate'' that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm ''white''!

* On the law that requires women to wait twenty-four hours before they are permitted to have an abortion: I think it's a good law. The other day I wanted to go get an abortion. I really wanted an abortion, but then I thought about it and it turned out I was just thirsty.

* The Holocaust would never have happened if black people lived in Germany in the 1930s and 40s … well, it wouldn't have happened to Jews.

==== ''[[w:The Sarah Silverman Program|The Sarah Silverman Program]]'' (2007-2010) ====
[[File:Sarahsilvermangfdl.PNG|thumb|right|I was driving and got tired and thought this would be a good place to stop.]]

* Also, I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn't matter, you know … because, at the end of the day, they're both gross. But mostly, I learned that elderly black women are wise beyond their years … but younger black women are prostitutes.

* I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?

* ''[holds up an egg]'' This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.

* If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with [[AIDS]] to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.

* I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sarah''': If you really are a ghost, why aren't you talking like ''thi-i-i-s-s''?
:'''Ghost''': That is a crude stereotype. Talking like that to a ghost is like saying the N-word to a black person.
:'''Sarah''': Well, interrupting a Jewish person while she's urinating is like saying the Holocaust never happened, so I guess we're ''e-e-e-v-e-e-n''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sarah''': Oh! Tig! How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
:'''Tig''': … I don't know.
:'''Sarah''': Oh …
:''[Tig leaves]''
:'''Steve''': She should know that.
:'''Laura''': I think it's three.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[After Sarah crashes her car]''
:'''Officer Jay''': Do you know how many fingers I'm holding up?
:'''Sarah''': Uh, this many? ''[Sarah showing two middle fingers]''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Police''': Do you know why I'm standing here?
:'''Sarah''': You got all C's in high school?
:'''Police''': Ma'am, are you drunk?
:'''Sarah''': Oh no, I was driving and got tired and thought this would be a good place to stop.
:''[She's in a playground during a kid's birthday party]''

===2010s===
*I’ll take this opportunity to answer one of the most repeated questions: why didn’t I choose to depict Mohammed having sex? The answer is simple. I don’t want to get blown up with explosives. I’m afraid of angering Muslims, but not afraid of angering Jews and Christians. So I chose to depict the Judeo-Christian God instead. It seems extremely obvious to me, but so many people asked.
** ''The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee'' (2010). Referring to a sketch on ''The Sarah Silverman Program'' in which her character slept with God.

*I Hope The Jews Did Kill Christ. I’d Fucking Do It Again in a Second.
**[https://www.timesofisrael.com/gops-israel-chief-says-sarah-silverman-needs-a-muzzle/ 26 March 2017] ''Times of Israel''.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

* {{imdb name|id=0798971|name=Sarah Silverman}}
* [http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_sarah_silverman_program/index.jhtml ''The Sarah Silverman Program'' site on comedycentral.com]
* [http://www.sarahsilvermanonline.com/ Sarah Silverman Online]
* [http://www.esquire.com/features/what-ive-learned/ESQ0107silvermanandkimmel &quot;What I've Learned&quot;] interview with boyfriend [[w:Jimmy Kimmel|Jimmy Kimmel]] for ''[[w:Esquire (magazine)|Esquire]]'' magazine (January 2007).
* [http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/21/magazine/21WWLN_Q4.t.html &quot;Questions for Sarah Silverman&quot; in ''The New York Times Magazine'' (21 January 2007)]

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  <page>
    <title>Francisco Franco</title>
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      <comment>/* Manifesto of 18 July 1936 */</comment>
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[[File:Francisco Franco 1930.jpg|thumb|right|One thing that I am sure of, and which I can answer truthfully, is that whatever the contingencies that may arise here, wherever I am there will be no [[Communism]].]]
'''[[w:Francisco Franco|Francisco Franco Bahamonde]]''' ([[4 December]] [[1892]] – [[20 November]] [[1975]]), commonly referred to as '''Francisco Franco''', was a military [[w:generalísimo|generalísimo]], leader of [[Spain]] (''Caudillo de España'') from October 1936 (whole country from April 1, 1939 on), and ''de-facto'' [[w:regent|regent]] of the nominally restored [[w:Spanish State|Kingdom of Spain]] from 1947 until his death in 1975.

== Quotes ==

[[File:Franco 1910.jpg|thumb|Franco in 1910]]
[[File:Estandarte de Francisco Franco.svg|thumb|[[Spain]]’s struggle is a Crusade; as soldiers of [[God]] we carry with us the evangelism of the [[world]]! ]] 
[[File:Aigle franquiste.jpg|thumb|right|The defense of internal [[peace]] and [[order]] constitutes the sacred mission of a [[nation]]'s armed forces and that is what we have carried out.]]
[[File:Valencia329.JPG|thumb|I say this to you because we Spaniards are a forgetful people, because we are used to living for the moment, because we do not look back...]]
[[File:RETRATO DEL GRAL. FRANCISCO FRANCO BAHAMONDE (1960).jpg|thumb|Franco in 1960]]
[[File:Generalissimo Franco, Caudillo van Spanje, Bestanddeelnr 916-0979.jpg|thumb|Franco in 1964]]
[[File:Generaal Franco (statiefoto), Bestanddeelnr 919-8527.jpg|thumb|Franco in 1966]]
[[File:Francisco Franco 1975 (cropped).jpg|thumb|Franco in 1975]]

*We do not rule out that it will change in the future, but for now it is. I am convinced that [[Freemasonry|Masonry]] is very good for [[England]] in England; the bad thing is that in Spain it is still very good for England.
**To [[Foster Dulles]], Secretary of State of the United States.

* The defence of internal [[peace]] and order constitutes the sacred mission of a nation's [[Military|armed forces]] and that is what we have carried out.
** As quoted in ''The Tyrants : 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'' (2006) by Clive Foss, p. 143, &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|1905204965}} &lt;/small&gt; 
&lt;!-- Also released as ''The Tyrants: Profiles of Power and Corruption'', 2006, {{ISBN|1905204795}}. --&gt;

* The [[w:Second Spanish Republic|Spanish Republic]] did not find itself free of obligations. For the most part the leaders were [[Freemasons]]. Before their [[duty]] to their [[country]] came their obligations to the Grand Orient. In my [[opinion]], Freemasonry, with all its international influence, is the organization principally responsible for the [[political]] [[ruin]] of Spain, as well as the murder of Calvo Sotelo, who was executed in accordance with orders from the Grand Secretary of Freemasonry in Geneva.
** Interview with Spanish journalist Nena Belmonte, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20080513182157/http://www.freemasonrytoday.com/30/p09.php &quot;Freemasonry and the Spanish Civil War&quot;] by Matthew Scanlan.

===1930s===
==== 1936 ====

* '''One thing that I am sure of, and which I can answer truthfully, is that whatever the contingencies that may arise here, wherever I am there will be no [[communism]].'''
** In discussion with [[w:Niceto Alcalá-Zamora|Niceto Alcalá-Zamora]], as quoted in ''Francisco Franco : The Times and the Man'' (1938) by Joaquin Arraras, p. 159

* We strive to form a single [[national]] front against the [[Masonic]] lodges, against Moscow and the [[Marxist]] [[societies]].
** Statement in ''El defensor de Córdoba'' (24 July 1936), as cited by Javier Navarrete in [http://mcedhou1.housings.nexica.net/MAS_ALLA/html/version_texto.asp?IDArt=29 Más Allá]

* [[All]] is well, thank God... but [[victory]] will not be complete, definitive or stable, as long as [[Masonry]] is in our [[Spain]]. And how will it disappear? What to do? Ask [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]].
** Statement in ''El defensor de Córdoba'' (2 October 1936), as cited by [http://www.agustincelis.com/id64.htm Agustín Celis]

===== Manifesto of 18 July 1936 =====
:&lt;small&gt;Radio broadcast by Franco from the Canary Islands, declaring his and his soldiers' reasons for revolt against the Spanish government at the beginning of the [[Spanish Civil War]]. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 177-179. &lt;br&gt;Commentary by Cowans: &quot;After years of discussions among military officers outraged by the course of events in Republican Spain, a group of generals decided, following the recent murder of the leading conservative politician, José Calvo Sotelo, to mount an armed uprising against the government. The officers had no single commander yet, but one of their leaders was the young general Francisco Franco Bahamonde (1892-1975), who as head of Spain's Army of Africa was based in the Canary Islands. Franco made this speech over the radio. It is unlikely that many Spaniards actually heard it, but nevertheless, the speech illustrates the soldiers' grievances and the kind of arguments they made in defense of their actions.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* Spaniards!&lt;br&gt;'''To all of you who feel holy love for Spain, to all of you who in the ranks of the army and the navy have sworn to serve the fatherland, to those of you who swore to defend it from its enemies with your lives, the nation calls you to defend it. The situation in Spain has been growing worse every day: anarchy reigns in most of the countryside and the towns; authorities named by the government preside over revolts, when they do not directly promote them. Pistols and machine guns are used to settle differences between groups of citizens, who murder each other treacherously and treasonously while the public powers do nothing to impose peace and justice.&lt;'''br&gt;Revolutionary strikes of all kinds paralyze the nation, ruining and destroying its sources of wealth and creating a situation of hunger that will throw working men into a state of desperation.&lt;br&gt;Artistic monuments and treasures are the object of the most frenzied attacks by revolutionary hordes obeying the commands they receive from foreign directors, who count on the complicity or negligence of governors and officials.&lt;br&gt;The most serious crimes are committed in the countryside while the forces of public order remain in their barracks, restrained by blind obedience to governors who intend to dishonor them. The army, the navy, and other military forces are the target of the lowest and most slanderous attacks by the very ones who should safeguard their prestige.

* States of emergency and alarm only serve to muzzle the people and to keep Spain from knowing what is happening outside the gates of their towns and cities, as well as to jail supposed political adversaries. The constitution, constantly suspended and violated, has been completely eclipsed; there is neither equality before the law nor liberty, enchained by tyranny, nor fraternity, threatened by the tearing apart of the national territory... that the governing powers themselves are promoting, nor solidarity and defense of our borders, when in the heart of Spain people listen to foreign broadcasts preaching the destruction and division of our soil.&lt;br&gt;The judiciary, whose independence the constitution guarantees, also suffers persecutions that exhaust or neutralize it, and it is the target of withering attacks on its independence.&lt;br&gt;Electoral pacts made at the cost of the integrity of the very fatherland, together with assaults on civil governments and vaults [intended] to falsify their acts, created the mask of legality that rules over us. Nothing restrains the appetite for power...&lt;br&gt;In addition to the revolutionary and ignorant spirit of the masses deceived and exploited by Soviet agents, who hide the bloody reality of that regime that has sacrificed 25 million people for its existence, there is the maliciousness and negligence of authorities of all kinds, who, protected by an incompetent government, lack the authority and prestige to impose order and the rule of liberty and justice.

* '''Can we consent to the shameful spectacle we are presenting to the world for one more day? Can we abandon Spain to the fatherland's enemies by cowardly and treasonous actions, surrendering it without a struggle and without resistance? No! The traitors may do so, but those of us who have sworn to defend it will not.''' We offer you justice and equality before the law. Peace and love among Spaniards. Liberty and fraternity free from libertinage and tyranny. Work for all. Social justice, carried out without rancor or violence, and an equitable and progressive distribution of wealth without destroying or endangering the Spanish economy. But first, a war without quarter against the exploiters of politics, against the deceivers of the honorable worker, and against the foreigners and would-be foreigners who, directly or indirectly, seek to destroy Spain. At this moment, it is Spain as a whole that is rising up and demanding peace, fraternity, and justice; in all of the regions, the army, the navy, and the forces of public order are rushing to defend the fatherland. The energy devoted to upholding order will match the magnitude of the resistance offered to it.&lt;br&gt;Our motives do not derive from the defense of a few illegitimate interests, nor from the desire to go backward along the path of history... Because the purity of our intentions prevents us from stifling those advances that represent an improvement in the political and social realm, and because the spirit of hatred and vengeance has no place in our hearts, we shall be able to salvage those legislative efforts which are compatible with the internal peace of Spain and its much-desired greatness, bringing about, for the first time in our country, the three-part order, ''Fraternity, liberty, and equality''. Spaniards: Long live Spain! Long live the honorable Spanish people!

==== 1938 ====

* '''We do not [[believe]] in [[government]] through the [[Elections|voting]] booth.''' The Spanish national will was never freely expressed through the ballot box. Spain has no foolish [[dreams]].
** Statement during the [[w:Spanish Civil War|civil war]], cited in 1938 by [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,915079,00.html ''Time'' magazine], also cited in John A. Crittenden, ''Parties and elections in the United States'', Prentice-Hall, 1982, (p.6).

* [[Fascism]], since that is the word that is used, fascism presents, wherever it manifests itself, characteristics which are varied to the extent that countries and national temperaments vary. It is essentially a defensive reaction of the organism, a manifestation of the desire to live, of the desire not to die, which at certain times seizes a whole people. So each people reacts in its own way, according to its conception of life. Our rising, here, has a Spanish meaning! What can it have in common with [[Nazism|Hitlerism]], which was, above all, a reaction against the state of things created by the defeat, and by the abdication and the despair that followed it? 
** Franco Interview with [[w:Henri Massis|Henri Massis]], 1938. Quoted in Massis's book ''Chefs'', Paris,Plon 1939.Also quoted in Richard Griffiths, ''An Intelligent Person's Guide to Fascism.'' London : [[w:Duckworth Overlook|Duckworth Publishing]], 2000.

==== 1939 ====

* ''Un estado totalitario armonizará en España el funcionamiento de todas las capacidades y energías del país, que dentro de la Unidad Nacional, el trabajo estimado como el más ineludible de los deberes será el único exponente de la voluntad popular.''
** A [[totalitarian]] state will harmonize in Spain the operation of all the capabilities and [[energy]] in the country, that inside the [[National]] [[Unity]], the [[work]] esteemed as the most unavoidable must be the only exponent of the people's will. 
*** Victory speech in Madrid (19 May 1939), quoted in ''Espana Nuevo Siglo‎'' (1997) by Tim Connell and Juan Kattán-Ibarra, p. 174

* Let us be under no illusion. The Jewish spirit which was responsible for the alliance of large-scale capital with [[Karl Marx|Marxism]] and was the driving force behind so many anti-Spanish [[Revolution|revolutionary]] agreements, will not be got rid of in a day. 
** Victory speech in Madrid (19 May 1939)

=== 1940s ===
==== 1940 ====

===== Laureate Cross acceptance speech (July 1940) =====
:&lt;small&gt;Speech by Franco as he received the Laureate Cross of Saint Ferdinand, Spain's highest military honour, which he had originally been nominated for in 1918 while fighting in Morocco. As the award is given by the Spanish head of state, Franco essentially gave himself the decoration. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 211-214.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I say this to you because we Spaniards are a forgetful people, because we are used to living for the moment, because we do not look back, because we do not know how to see the chain of heroes, because we do not contemplate the sum of sacrifices.'''

==== 1945 ====

*We have torn up Marxist [[materialism]] and we have disorientated [[Masonry]]. We have thwarted the [[Satanic]] machinations of the clandestine Masonic superstate. Despite its control of the [[world]]’s press and numerous international politicians. Spain’s struggle is a Crusade; as soldiers of [[God]] we carry with us the evangelism of the world! 
** Speech to the women’s section of the Falange in Madrid (11 September 1945), as quoted in [http://www.freemasonrytoday.com/30/p09.php &quot;Freemasonry and the Spanish Civil War&quot;] by Matthew Scanlan.

==== 1946 ====

* The whole secret of the campaigns unleashed against Spain can be explained in two words: [[Masonry]] and [[Communism]]... we have to extirpate these two evils from our land.
** Writing under the alias Jakin Boor in the journal ''Arriba'' in an article, &quot;Masonry and Communism&quot; (14 December 1946),  as quoted in ''Franco: A Biography'' by Juan Pablo Fusi Aizpurúạ, p. 71

==Quotes About Franco==
[[File:SPA-2014-San Lorenzo de El Escorial-Valley of the Fallen (Valle de los Caídos).jpg|thumb|Franco's own [[ideology]] was deeply [[conservative]] but it was subordinated to the perputation of his own [[power]]. He maintained control by repeatedly shifting the balance of influence within the regime according to internal and external pressures, and he continued to command loyalty by allowing the self-enrichment of his elites through the institutions of the state ~ Sebastian Balfour]]
[[File:El burro i l'haca.jpg|thumb|The firm and steady hand of a great captain and patriot, in my view one of the greatest in Spain's long history, has held the tiller of the ship of state through fierce gales and in and out of sharp reefs, to steer it to a calm and prosperous anchorage. ~ José Larios]]
[[File:Evelynwaugh.jpeg|thumb|If I were a Spaniard I should be fighting for General Franco. As an Englishman I am not in the predicament of choosing between two evils. I am not a Fascist, nor shall I become one unless it were the only alternative to Marxism. It is mischievous to suggest that such a choice is imminent. ~ [[Evelyn Waugh]] ]] 
[[File:A solzhenitsin.JPG|thumb|I saw that Franco had made a heroic and colossal attempt to save his country from disintegration. With this understanding there also came amazement: there had been destruction all around, but with firm tactics Franco had managed to have Spain sidestep the Second World War without involving itself, and for twenty, thirty, thirty-five years, had kept Spain Christian against all history’s laws of decline! But then in the thirty-seventh year of his rule he died, dying to a chorus of nasty jeers from the European socialists, radicals, and liberals. ~ [[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]]]]

:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;

* Francisco Franco, the former [[fascist]] dictator of Spain, gave the [[Nazis]] a list of every [[Jew]] in his [[country]] in order to facilitate efforts to locate, deport and destroy them, according to a document found recently in a Spanish archive and reported on Sunday by the Spanish daily ''El Pais''.The paper said that in 1941, Spain prepared a list of all 6,000 Jews in its territory and gave it to the architect of the Nazis' Final Solution, [[Heinrich Himmler]]...
** Ofer Aderet, in [http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/news/wwii-document-reveals-general-franco-handed-nazis-list-of-spanish-jews-1.297546 &quot;WWII document reveals: General Franco handed Nazis list of Spanish Jews&quot;, in ''Haaretz'' (22 June 2010)]

* The document is an official order, dated May 13, 1941, issued by Franco's chief of security, [[w:Jose Maria Finat y Escriva de Romani|Jose Maria Finat y Escriva de Romani]], to all provincial governors. It instructs them to prepare a list of every Jew in their district, both local residents and foreigners, along with details about &quot;their personal and political leanings, their means of supporting themselves, their commercial activity, the level of threat they constitute and their security classification. 
** Ofer Aderet, in &quot;WWII document reveals: General Franco handed Nazis list of Spanish Jews&quot;, in ''Haaretz'' (22 June 2010)

* '''The Spanish general had neither the look nor the commanding voice of a dashing military leader. He was short, pudgy, and balding, had a droopy countenance, was prone to crying, and- when issuing orders- he tended to squeak. Colleagues tended to refer to him behind his back as &quot;Miss [[w:Canary Islands|Canary Islands]],&quot; a comment on both his demeanor and the remote site where he was stationed when the first shots were fired; but Franco was the sort of leader who could find his way through a minefield without putting a foot wrong. Unlike many, he expected the Civil War to be long, dirty, and closely fought.''' In preparation, he solicited and received aid from Hitler and Mussolini. To the irritation of both dictators, '''Franco resisted pressure for bold actions that, in his judgment, would have entailed taking excessive risks. Instead he waged war like a safecracker, turning the dial one click at a time.''' He used aerial bombardments to soften up any opposition before attacking on the ground. He paid careful attention to logistics and didn't squander his ammunition, equipment or men. He moved his headquarters close to the fighting and insisted that a field commander lead in retaking any territory on the global stage, for the [[Spanish Civil War]] (1936-1939) was of interest not solely to Spain.
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 49-50

* There are aspects of the Spanish Civil War that remain relevant today. The bloodshed generated controversy within neighboring countries, especially France, about whether to accept or turn back the tens of thousands of refugees who sought relief from the fighting. The [[w:Red Army|Russian troops]] and tanks that appeared in Spain did so without markings or insignia, just as their successors would do in the [[w:1961 Berlin crisis|1961 Berlin crisis]] and, more than fifty years later, in [[Ukraine]]. The [[Bombing of Guernica|German bombing of Guernica]], immortalized by [[Pablo Picasso|Picasso]], sparked calls for an international [[war crimes]] investigation that never took place. Instead the perpetrators first denied that any [[bombs]] had fallen, then blamed the carnage on the victims. Franco was Spain's youngest general and possibly its most cruel. He personally ordered t he [[Capital punishment|executions]] of thousands of alleged enemy combatants and sympathizers, without the slightest sign of remorse. He was deliberative, but ambitious. Even before the war had been won, he was designated the future chief of state, with full [[Dictatorship|dictatorial]] powers. Everywhere he went, Nationalist posters proclaimed, UN ESTADO, UN PAIS, UN JEFE- &quot;One state, one country, one leader,&quot; an echo of the Nazi slogan &quot;''[[w:Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer|Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer]]''.&quot;
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 51-52

* The last of the [[w:Republican faction (Spanish Civil War)|Republican]] forces surrendered to Franco on April 1, 1939. The general vowed at the time that he would never pick up his sword again except to defend his country from invasion. When Hitler urged him to bring Spain into the wartime Axis alliance, he refused as a matter of principle, then asked how much Germany was willing to pay. He set his own terms: generous amounts of military and economic aid, plus Morocco, a possession of Vichy France. The Germans viewed the price tag as exorbitant and knew that handing Morocco to Spain would so outrage the Vichy regime that it would no longer collaborate. To break the deadlock, Hitler traveled from Berlin to the Spanish frontier town of Hendaye, where, on October 23, 1940, he met with Franco. The chancellor was confident that his willingness to journey eleven hundred miles to visit the Spaniard in his own country would produce a breakthrough. After all, wasn't he the master of Europe? Instead, in a nine-hour meeting, Franco evaded every request. When Hitler pressed him for a commitment, he replied with questions. Asked to moderate his demands, he repeated them. When the Fuehrer predicted a quick victory over England, implying that Spain could wait no longer if it wanted to share in the triumph, Franco doubted the scenario before adding that, even if the Germans were to capture London, the British would keep fighting from Canada.
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 52-53

* Barely containing his fury, Hitler had no choice but to make the long trip back home empty-handed. The following February, he tried a final time, writing to Franco, &quot;We three men, the Duce, you, and I, are bound together by the most rigorous compulsion of history... In such difficult times... a bold heart can save nations.&quot; Flattery didn't work with Franco, who politely declined the chance to link his fate to the Nazis. Writing again, this time to Mussolini, Hitler predicted that Franco- who would die in his bed at the age of seventy-five- was making &quot;the greatest mistake of his life.&quot;
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 53

* '''Franco's own [[ideology]] was deeply [[conservative]] but it was subordinated to the perputation of his own [[power]].''' He maintained control by repeatedly shifting the balance of influence within the regime according to internal and external pressures, and he continued to command loyalty by allowing the self-enrichment of his elites through the institutions of the state.
** Sebastian Balfour, quoted in ''Spain: A History'' (2000), edited by [[w:Raymond Carr|Raymond Carr]] (p.265).

* &quot;Bring us Franco's balls!&quot; the men shouted. &quot;'e ain't got no bloody balls,&quot; a voice replied.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 63

* Every town along the [[w:Mediterranean Sea|Mediterranean]] shore was empty and deserted. The road was jam-packed with [[Peasant|peasants]] evacuating toward the north, on mule-back, in donkey-carts, afoot. They looked at us in the cab of the [[Car|truck]], moving against the stream they made, and they kept moving. Hundreds were camped along the roads; hundreds were plodding north toward [[w:Barcelona|Barcelona]], their few possessions, mattresses, blankets, household utensils, domestic stock, on their backs, in wheelbarrows or on their ''[[Donkeys|burros]]''' backs. Little children were walking, holding onto their mother's skirts; women carried babies; older children were driving goats, sheep; old men were helping old women along the road; their faces were impassive, dark with the dust of the roads and fields, lined and worn. Their eyes alone were bright but there was no expression in their eyes. Looking at them you knew what they were thinking: 'Franco is coming; Franco is coming.'
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 134

* Then near-by Tarragona was bombed; the Spanish, [[United Kingdom|British]], and [[United States|American]] [[Nursing|nurses]] went about their work as the windowpanes rattled and the hideous drumming reverberated throughout the house. We all ran out onto the flagstone terrace to watch the black smoke rise over Terragona, and by morning of the next day the word had come that the [[w:Fascist Italy|Italian Fascist]] troops had reached the sea at [[w:Vinaroz|Vinaroz]], below [[w:Tortosa|Tortosa]], cutting Loyalist Spain away from [[w:Catalonia|Catalonia]], and all traffic had been cut between Barcelona and [[w:Valencia|Valencia]]. (In [[Rome]], the [[w:Pope|Pope]] gave is apostolic benediction to the sacred cause of General Franco.)
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 146

* We heard- a shithouse rumor?- that we dominated the heights surrounding [[w:Lerida|Lerida]] and [[w:Balaguer|Balaguer]] (this was different); the [[newspapers]] reported that the offensive was gaining ground everywhere; the [[w:Non-Intervention Committee|Non-Intervention Committee]] met again and issued another of its 'decisions.' This time it was decided once more to withdraw all foreign 'volunteers' from Spain, but England's perfidious hand could be seen as plain as day, for wasn't [[Neville Chamberlain|Mr. Chamberlain]] interested in concluding an agreement with Banjo-Eyes? And wasn't the 'withdrawal' contingent upon British and French concession of belligerent rights to Franco, which would tip the scales even farther in his favor by legalizing what already existed- the shipment of arms, munitions, planes and tanks and men into his territory?
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 170

* North's news of Europe was disheartening. [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] had mobilized a million and a half men on the [[w:Czechoslovakia|Czech]] and [[France|French]] borders, presumably for 'maneuvers'; probably for aggression against Czechoslovakia if the democracies, as they are euphemistically described, remained supine. [[Franklin D. Roosevelt|Roosevelt]] and [[Cordell Hull|Hull]] had, it is true, made strong speeches against [[Fascism|Fascist]] aggression within the week, and called for united [[Democracy|democratic]] opposition, but when would the talking end and what good would it do? Franco, unlike the Spanish Loyalist Government, had given a categorical refusal to the Non-Intervention Committee's alleged plan for evacuation of foreign volunteers; he did worse, he said he would accept it in exchange for belligerent rights, immediately granted.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 297

* [[w:Unification Decree (Spain, 1937)|In April 1937]] Franco, as effective {{w|head of state}} of {{w|Nationalist Spain}}, fused the [[w:Falange Española de las JONS|Falange]] with the {{w|Carlists}}, [[Monarchy|monarchists]] and the rest of the right to form the single party of his regime: a process, though differently conducted, somewhat similar to {{w|Italian fascism}}'s fusion with [[Nationalism]] and [[w:Clerical fascism|Clerico-Fascism]] after 1922. The product, like the Italian Fascist regime, was a compromise between radical fascism and conservative [[authoritarianism]], in this case with unambiguous military and [[Catholic Church|Church]] support.
** [[Martin Blinkhorn]], {{cite book |title=Fascists and Conservatives: The Radical Right and the Establishment in Twentieth-Century Europe |date=2003 |publisher={{w|Routledge}} |isbn=978-1-134-99712-1 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=zr6JAgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT10 |page=10}}

* General Franco is an authentic national hero. It is generally conceded that he above others had the combination of talents, the perseverance, and the sense of righteousness of his cause, that were required to wrest Spain from the hands of the visionaries, [[Ideology|ideologues]], Marxists and [[Nihilism|nihlistis]] that were imposing on her, in the thirties, a regime so grotesque as to do violence to the Spanish soul, to deny, even Spain's historical identity.
** [[William F. Buckley, Jr.]], {{cite news |url=https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2008/02/william-f-buckley-rip.html |title=William F. Buckley, RIP |first=Timothy |last=Noah |date=February 27, 2008 |website=Slate.com}}

* General Franco made it clear that [[Spain]] could enter the [[war]] only when [[England]] was about ready to collapse.
** Admiral [[Wilhelm Canaris]]. Quoted in ''The Last European War'' (1976) by John Lukacs (p. 114). 

* I most sincerely wish to go on record as being unalterably opposed to Franco and [[fascism]], to all violations of the legal [[government]] and outrages against the people of [[w:Second Spanish Republic|Republican Spain]]. 
** [[William Faulkner]], 1938, quoted in Frederick Robert Karl, ''William Faulkner, American writer:a biography'' (1990), p. 630
*Franco ruled Spain, but not as a [[Republic]]. The [[w:Law of Succession to the Headship of the State|Succession Law of 1947]] defined the country as a monarchy, although it recognized Franco's power for his lifetime. He intended to name [[w:Juan Carlos II|Juan Carlos]], grandson of the late King [[w:Alfonso XIII|Alfonso XIII]] as his successor, although he waited another 22 years before naming him. Franco called a [[w:Plebiscite|plebiscite]] that approved his succession plans by a huge margin. He termed this (and similar votes) his 'democratic mandate': no other forms of democracy were needed. Franco was always cautious and considered all options before making up his mind. Reserved and spacious, but courteous and proud, he rarely revealed his feelings. But a particular book he published in 1952 exposed his thinking. ''Freemasonry'' blamed the problems of the world on Spain's enemies, Freemasons and Communists. For him, Roosevelt, [[Harry S. Truman|Truman]], and [[Winston Churchill|Churchill]] were all Masons, part of a destructive tide only temporarily held back by Hitler and Mussolini. When the western leaders met [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]] at [[w:Yalta Conference|Yalta]] and [[w:Potsdam Conference|Potsdam]], they confirmed Franco's worst fears. These erratic views were not widely publicized abroad. 
**Clive Foss, ''The Tyrants : 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'' (2006) pp. 145-146

*Franco celebrated 25 years of peace in 1964, basking in a [[w:Cult of personality|cult of personality]] that called him 'the man sent by God and made leader' or 'hero of the hosts of heaven and earth.' Although he was less active in the government, he was still very much in charge. His beliefs never changed: freedom would lead to [[corruption]] and [[Communism]], and the [[state]] should be based on the [[family]], the [[Town|towns]], and the party. For the first time, Franco defined his view of the state in the [[w:Organic Law (Spain)|Organic Law]] (1966): a monarchy whose only political activity was Franco's movement, whose head had extensive powers that could be challenged but not threatened by an [[Organization|assembly]]. [[Strike action|Strikes]], student unrest and regional problems, however, made it clear that his ideas were not compatible with a modern [[state]] that needed representative institutions to deal with ever more complex problems. 
**Clive Foss, ''The Tyrants : 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'' (2006) p. 146

* Franco is hardworking, has a thorough knowledge of the Spanish political and economic situations, and is more astute politically than any of his opposition.
** Stanton Griffis, United States Ambassador to Spain (1951-1952), in a dispatch to Dean Acheson, United States Secretary of State (1949-1953). As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003), p. 231

* '''Just like any honest man, I am against Franco and [[Fascism]] in Spain.''' 
** [[Ernest Hemingway]], quoted in ''Writers Take Sides : Letters About the War in Spain from 418 American Authors'' (1938) by the American Writers League, which asked various authors: &quot;Are you for or are you against Franco and fascism?&quot;.

* A great man...and the greatest and most representative of the Spanish people of the 20th century...one of the great leaders we have had in our history.
** [[Manuel Fraga Iribarne]], Spanish Politician and diplomat, on the occasion of Franco's death. Quoted in [http://www.gara.net/azkenak/01/315809/es/Frases-que-reflejan-recorrido-Manuel-Fraga &quot;Frases que reflejan el recorrido de Manuel Fraga&quot; in ''GARA'' Newspaper (16 January 2012)]

* A democracy can be highly illiberal, while on the other hand an absolute ruler could be a thorough liberal—without being for this reason the least bit democratic. Even a dictator, theoretically, could be a liberal. [...] A purely [[w:Military dictatorship|military dictatorship]] based on the bayonets and sabres of a handful of professional soldiers has greater liberal potentialities (one has only to compare Franco, [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Oliveira Salazar]] and [[Philippe Pétain|Pétain]] with [[Hitler]], [[Mussolini]] and [[Stalin]]).
** [[w:Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn|Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]] (1952). ''Liberty and Equality: The Challenge of Our Time'', Caldwell, Idaho: Caxton Printers, pp. 87-88

* Neither the [[Nazism|Nazis]] nor the [[Italy|Italians]] were able to cash in on their &quot;investments&quot; in Spain. Franco saw Hitler only once and, as an old specialist on criminals from his days in the ''Tercio'', he immediately sized up his partner.
**[[w:Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn|Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]] (1974). ''Leftism: From de Sade and Marx to Hitler and Marcuse'', Arlington House Publishers, p. 271

* The [[w:Madrid|Madrid]] victory parade took place on May 19. This time we formed the letters &quot;F-R-A-N-C-O,&quot; a still more difficult flying maneuver. We flew straight up the Castellana, high in the clear sky, while thousands of troops, tanks, and guns moved through the city. The enthusiasm was unsurpassed. A few months later I retired from the air force, but I remain in the reserve to this day. On October 19, 1939, Paz and I were married in [[w:Seville|Seville]]'s [[w:Seville Cathedral|magnificent cathedral]]. We now have six children, two girls and four boys, age eight to twenty-four. We had won the war, yet our troubles were not over by any means. A major work of reconstruction lay ahead for a ruined but vigorous and proud country. But [[World War II|a new World War]] was looming up menacingly and was to delay and hinder the steep uphill climb; also ahead lay the years of isolation by a hostile world. The years have flown and hate's sharp and bitter edge has been dulled and blunted by the healing balm of time. New generations have sprung up to fill the ranks where once stood veterans, united, shoulder to shoulder, to save Spain, our beloved country, from national death. Reconstruction has, in truth, flourished under the warm sun of [[social justice]] and twenty-five years of [[peace]], our hard-won peace. The firm and steady hand of a great captain and patriot, in my view one of the greatest in Spain's long history, has held the tiller of the ship of state through fierce gales and in and out of sharp reefs, to steer it to a calm and prosperous anchorage. If the spirit, courage, and overwhelming national enthusiasm born on July 18, 1936, can be kept alive by present generations and kindled in succeeding ones Spain need have no fear from any internal foes nor from inveterate enemies beyond her frontiers.
** José Larios, ''Combat Over Spain'' (1966), p. 266-267

* And who could tell if we were to be forced into the conflict? No one at the time could predict. We were to suffer long years of uncertainty during the World War while Spain slowly but proudly recovered from her deep wounds, unaided and isolated. Our not being drawn into war (which would have completed Spain's ruin), was, as everyone knows now, entirely due to General Franco's inflexible firmness of purpose. Not even Hitler, at the height of his power, was able to sway him to his side or alter his determination to keep Spain out of it- a remarkable feat. From the conclusion of the Spanish Civil War to this day, much has happened and much good has come to this country. Her astounding and heroic effort has not gone unrewarded, as fifteen million tourists (in 1964) can testify.
** José Larios, ''Combat Over Spain'' (1966), p. 268-269

* The crucial difference  was between the regimes of the old Right, who wanted to turn the clock back to a pre-democratic [[Elitism|elitist]] era, and the new Right who seized and sustained power through the instruments of mass [[politics]]. '''The former included General Franco and the [[Greece|Greek]] dictator [[w:Ioannis Metaxas|Metaxas]], men who feared mass politics and allied themselves with bastions of the established order such as the monarchy and the Church...the new [[w:Radical Right|radical Right]], in contrast, rose to power in Italy and Germany through elections and the [[Parliamentary system|parliamentary process]].'''
** [[w:Mark Mazower|Mark Mazower]], ''Dark Continent: Europe's 20th Century'' (1998), p. 27

* There is no question for any decent, kindly man or woman, let alone a [[Poets|poet]] or [[Writing|writer]], who ''must'' be more sensitive. '''We have to be against Franco and [[Fascism]] and for the [[people]] of [[Spain]], and the [[future]] of [[gentleness]] and [[brotherhood]] which ordinary men and women want all over the [[world]].'''
** [[w:Naomi Mitchison|Naomi Mitchison]], in 1937, as quoted in ''Spanish Front : Writers on the Civil War'' (1986) by Valentine Cunningham, p. 227 [http://spartacus-educational.com/Wmitchison.htm]

* '''The most baffling thing in the Spanish [[war]] was the behaviour of the great powers. '''The war was actually won for Franco by the [[Germans]] and [[Italians]], whose motives were obvious enough. The motives of [[France]] and [[Britain]] are less easy to understand. In 1936 it was clear to everyone that if Britain would only help the Spanish Government, even to the extent of a few million pounds’ worth of arms, Franco would collapse and German strategy would be severely dislocated. '''By that time one did not need to be a [[clairvoyant]] to foresee that war between Britain and Germany was coming; one could even foretell within a year or two when it would come.''' Yet in the most mean, [[cowardly]], [[hypocritical]] way the British ruling class did all they could to hand Spain over to Franco and the [[Nazis]]. Why? Because they were pro-Fascist, was the obvious answer. Undoubtedly they were, and yet when it came to the final showdown they chose to stand up to Germany. It is still very uncertain what plan they acted on in backing Franco, and they may have had no clear plan at all. '''Whether the British ruling class are wicked or merely [[stupid]] is one of the most difficult questions of our time, and at certain [[moments]] a very important question.'''
** [[George Orwell]], in &quot;Looking Back on the Spanish War&quot; (1943)

*General Franco, whom Sir [[Winston Churchill]] has praised as a &quot;gallant [[Christianity|Christian]] gentleman&quot;, has forbidden any work of fiction alluding to [[adultery]], though I believe he had made a special exception for the ''[[Homer|Iliad]]''. 
** [[Bertrand Russell]], in ''Dear Bertrand Russell : A selection of his correspondence with the general public 1950-1968'' (1970) 

* I saw that Franco had made a heroic and colossal attempt to save his country from disintegration. With this understanding there also came amazement: there had been destruction all around, but with firm tactics Franco had managed to have Spain sidestep the Second World War without involving itself, and for twenty, thirty, thirty-five years, had kept Spain Christian against all history’s laws of decline! But then in the thirty-seventh year of his rule he died, dying to a chorus of nasty jeers from the [[Europe|European]] [[Socialism|socialists]], [[Radicalism|radicals]], and [[Liberalism|liberals]].
** [[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]], as quoted in [https://www.firstthings.com/article/2019/02/the-caudillo ''The Caudillo''], [[W:First Things|First Things]]

* It is time to visit General Francisco Franco. A short taxi ride does it, and I am deposited at the foot of a giant, prancing stone horse bearing a triumphant-looking granite copy of the dictator.This, the only public statue of the &quot;caudillo (leader) for God and the fatherland&quot; left in Madrid, stands at the gates to the environment ministry. Here, spattered with red paint hurled by protesters and with a few bunches of wilting flowers left by his admirers, General Franco must remain. For the conservative-run city hall has decreed the generalísimo does not deserve to be knocked off his pedestal. '''Barring a small, remote Caudillo Square and a Franco Street that may or may not be named after him, this is all that remains of the man who ruled Spain for 36 years.''' 
** [[w:Giles Tremlett|Giles Tremlett]], in &quot;[http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2004/nov/27/spain.gilestremlett?INTCMP=SRCH The generalísimo remains on his pedestal]&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (27 November 2004)

* If I were a Spaniard I should be fighting for General Franco. As an Englishman I am not in the predicament of choosing between two [[evils]]. I am not a Fascist, nor shall I become one unless it were the only alternative to Marxism. It is mischievous to suggest that such a choice is imminent.
** [[Evelyn Waugh]], in 1937, as quoted in ''The Picturesque Prison : Evelyn Waugh and His Writing, (1983) by Jeffrey M. Heath, p. 49

* Franco, that [[murderous]] little &quot;Christian gentleman&quot;.
** [[H. G. Wells]], in ''The New World Order'' (1940)

* At [[w:El Pardo|El Pardo]], the former royal hunting lodge on the outskirts of Madrid where Franco lived and worked, his [[wiktionary:ormolu|ormolu]]-mounted desk and a nearby table were piled high with reports and memorandums, virtually all of them unread. &quot;When the piles become too high,&quot; he once told Prince Juan Carlos, &quot;I have everything taken out from the bottom and burned.&quot;
** [[w:Alden Whitman|Alden Whitman]], {{cite journal|title=Franco Is Dead in Madrid at 82|date=November 20, 1975|journal=The New York Times|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=mDmKCwAAQBAJ&amp;q=ormolu#v=snippet&amp;q=ormolu-mounted&amp;f=false}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcrvO5PgeKQ Speech]
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[[File:Francisco Franco 1930.jpg|thumb|right|One thing that I am sure of, and which I can answer truthfully, is that whatever the contingencies that may arise here, wherever I am there will be no [[Communism]].]]
'''[[w:Francisco Franco|Francisco Franco Bahamonde]]''' ([[4 December]] [[1892]] – [[20 November]] [[1975]]), commonly referred to as '''Francisco Franco''', was a military [[w:generalísimo|generalísimo]], leader of [[Spain]] (''Caudillo de España'') from October 1936 (whole country from April 1, 1939 on), and ''de-facto'' [[w:regent|regent]] of the nominally restored [[w:Spanish State|Kingdom of Spain]] from 1947 until his death in 1975.

== Quotes ==

[[File:Franco 1910.jpg|thumb|Franco in 1910]]
[[File:Emblem of the Spanish Armed Forces.svg|thumb|Spaniards! To all of you who feel holy love for Spain, to all of you who in the ranks of the army and the navy have sworn to serve the fatherland, to those of you who swore to defend it from its enemies with your lives, the nation calls you to defend it.]]
[[File:Estandarte de Francisco Franco.svg|thumb|[[Spain]]’s struggle is a Crusade; as soldiers of [[God]] we carry with us the evangelism of the [[world]]!]] 
[[File:Aigle franquiste.jpg|thumb|right|The defense of internal [[peace]] and [[order]] constitutes the sacred mission of a [[nation]]'s armed forces and that is what we have carried out.]]
[[File:Valencia329.JPG|thumb|I say this to you because we Spaniards are a forgetful people, because we are used to living for the moment, because we do not look back...]]
[[File:RETRATO DEL GRAL. FRANCISCO FRANCO BAHAMONDE (1960).jpg|thumb|Franco in 1960]]
[[File:Generalissimo Franco, Caudillo van Spanje, Bestanddeelnr 916-0979.jpg|thumb|Franco in 1964]]
[[File:Generaal Franco (statiefoto), Bestanddeelnr 919-8527.jpg|thumb|Franco in 1966]]
[[File:Francisco Franco 1975 (cropped).jpg|thumb|Franco in 1975]]

*We do not rule out that it will change in the future, but for now it is. I am convinced that [[Freemasonry|Masonry]] is very good for [[England]] in England; the bad thing is that in Spain it is still very good for England.
**To [[Foster Dulles]], Secretary of State of the United States.

* The defence of internal [[peace]] and order constitutes the sacred mission of a nation's [[Military|armed forces]] and that is what we have carried out.
** As quoted in ''The Tyrants : 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'' (2006) by Clive Foss, p. 143, &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|1905204965}} &lt;/small&gt; 
&lt;!-- Also released as ''The Tyrants: Profiles of Power and Corruption'', 2006, {{ISBN|1905204795}}. --&gt;

* The [[w:Second Spanish Republic|Spanish Republic]] did not find itself free of obligations. For the most part the leaders were [[Freemasons]]. Before their [[duty]] to their [[country]] came their obligations to the Grand Orient. In my [[opinion]], Freemasonry, with all its international influence, is the organization principally responsible for the [[political]] [[ruin]] of Spain, as well as the murder of Calvo Sotelo, who was executed in accordance with orders from the Grand Secretary of Freemasonry in Geneva.
** Interview with Spanish journalist Nena Belmonte, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20080513182157/http://www.freemasonrytoday.com/30/p09.php &quot;Freemasonry and the Spanish Civil War&quot;] by Matthew Scanlan.

===1930s===
==== 1936 ====

* '''One thing that I am sure of, and which I can answer truthfully, is that whatever the contingencies that may arise here, wherever I am there will be no [[communism]].'''
** In discussion with [[w:Niceto Alcalá-Zamora|Niceto Alcalá-Zamora]], as quoted in ''Francisco Franco : The Times and the Man'' (1938) by Joaquin Arraras, p. 159

* We strive to form a single [[national]] front against the [[Masonic]] lodges, against Moscow and the [[Marxist]] [[societies]].
** Statement in ''El defensor de Córdoba'' (24 July 1936), as cited by Javier Navarrete in [http://mcedhou1.housings.nexica.net/MAS_ALLA/html/version_texto.asp?IDArt=29 Más Allá]

* [[All]] is well, thank God... but [[victory]] will not be complete, definitive or stable, as long as [[Masonry]] is in our [[Spain]]. And how will it disappear? What to do? Ask [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]].
** Statement in ''El defensor de Córdoba'' (2 October 1936), as cited by [http://www.agustincelis.com/id64.htm Agustín Celis]

===== Manifesto of 18 July 1936 =====
:&lt;small&gt;Radio broadcast by Franco from the Canary Islands, declaring his and his soldiers' reasons for revolt against the Spanish government at the beginning of the [[Spanish Civil War]]. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 177-179. &lt;br&gt;Commentary by Cowans: &quot;After years of discussions among military officers outraged by the course of events in Republican Spain, a group of generals decided, following the recent murder of the leading conservative politician, José Calvo Sotelo, to mount an armed uprising against the government. The officers had no single commander yet, but one of their leaders was the young general Francisco Franco Bahamonde (1892-1975), who as head of Spain's Army of Africa was based in the Canary Islands. Franco made this speech over the radio. It is unlikely that many Spaniards actually heard it, but nevertheless, the speech illustrates the soldiers' grievances and the kind of arguments they made in defense of their actions.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Spaniards!'''&lt;br&gt;'''To all of you who feel holy love for Spain, to all of you who in the ranks of the army and the navy have sworn to serve the fatherland, to those of you who swore to defend it from its enemies with your lives, the nation calls you to defend it. The situation in Spain has been growing worse every day: anarchy reigns in most of the countryside and the towns; authorities named by the government preside over revolts, when they do not directly promote them. Pistols and machine guns are used to settle differences between groups of citizens, who murder each other treacherously and treasonously while the public powers do nothing to impose peace and justice.&lt;'''br&gt;Revolutionary strikes of all kinds paralyze the nation, ruining and destroying its sources of wealth and creating a situation of hunger that will throw working men into a state of desperation.&lt;br&gt;Artistic monuments and treasures are the object of the most frenzied attacks by revolutionary hordes obeying the commands they receive from foreign directors, who count on the complicity or negligence of governors and officials.&lt;br&gt;The most serious crimes are committed in the countryside while the forces of public order remain in their barracks, restrained by blind obedience to governors who intend to dishonor them. The army, the navy, and other military forces are the target of the lowest and most slanderous attacks by the very ones who should safeguard their prestige.

* States of emergency and alarm only serve to muzzle the people and to keep Spain from knowing what is happening outside the gates of their towns and cities, as well as to jail supposed political adversaries. The constitution, constantly suspended and violated, has been completely eclipsed; there is neither equality before the law nor liberty, enchained by tyranny, nor fraternity, threatened by the tearing apart of the national territory... that the governing powers themselves are promoting, nor solidarity and defense of our borders, when in the heart of Spain people listen to foreign broadcasts preaching the destruction and division of our soil.&lt;br&gt;The judiciary, whose independence the constitution guarantees, also suffers persecutions that exhaust or neutralize it, and it is the target of withering attacks on its independence.&lt;br&gt;Electoral pacts made at the cost of the integrity of the very fatherland, together with assaults on civil governments and vaults [intended] to falsify their acts, created the mask of legality that rules over us. Nothing restrains the appetite for power...&lt;br&gt;In addition to the revolutionary and ignorant spirit of the masses deceived and exploited by Soviet agents, who hide the bloody reality of that regime that has sacrificed 25 million people for its existence, there is the maliciousness and negligence of authorities of all kinds, who, protected by an incompetent government, lack the authority and prestige to impose order and the rule of liberty and justice.

* '''Can we consent to the shameful spectacle we are presenting to the world for one more day? Can we abandon Spain to the fatherland's enemies by cowardly and treasonous actions, surrendering it without a struggle and without resistance? No! The traitors may do so, but those of us who have sworn to defend it will not.''' We offer you justice and equality before the law. Peace and love among Spaniards. Liberty and fraternity free from libertinage and tyranny. Work for all. Social justice, carried out without rancor or violence, and an equitable and progressive distribution of wealth without destroying or endangering the Spanish economy. But first, a war without quarter against the exploiters of politics, against the deceivers of the honorable worker, and against the foreigners and would-be foreigners who, directly or indirectly, seek to destroy Spain. At this moment, it is Spain as a whole that is rising up and demanding peace, fraternity, and justice; in all of the regions, the army, the navy, and the forces of public order are rushing to defend the fatherland. The energy devoted to upholding order will match the magnitude of the resistance offered to it.&lt;br&gt;Our motives do not derive from the defense of a few illegitimate interests, nor from the desire to go backward along the path of history... Because the purity of our intentions prevents us from stifling those advances that represent an improvement in the political and social realm, and because the spirit of hatred and vengeance has no place in our hearts, we shall be able to salvage those legislative efforts which are compatible with the internal peace of Spain and its much-desired greatness, bringing about, for the first time in our country, the three-part order, ''Fraternity, liberty, and equality''. Spaniards: Long live Spain! Long live the honorable Spanish people!

==== 1938 ====

* '''We do not [[believe]] in [[government]] through the [[Elections|voting]] booth.''' The Spanish national will was never freely expressed through the ballot box. Spain has no foolish [[dreams]].
** Statement during the [[w:Spanish Civil War|civil war]], cited in 1938 by [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,915079,00.html ''Time'' magazine], also cited in John A. Crittenden, ''Parties and elections in the United States'', Prentice-Hall, 1982, (p.6).

* [[Fascism]], since that is the word that is used, fascism presents, wherever it manifests itself, characteristics which are varied to the extent that countries and national temperaments vary. It is essentially a defensive reaction of the organism, a manifestation of the desire to live, of the desire not to die, which at certain times seizes a whole people. So each people reacts in its own way, according to its conception of life. Our rising, here, has a Spanish meaning! What can it have in common with [[Nazism|Hitlerism]], which was, above all, a reaction against the state of things created by the defeat, and by the abdication and the despair that followed it? 
** Franco Interview with [[w:Henri Massis|Henri Massis]], 1938. Quoted in Massis's book ''Chefs'', Paris,Plon 1939.Also quoted in Richard Griffiths, ''An Intelligent Person's Guide to Fascism.'' London : [[w:Duckworth Overlook|Duckworth Publishing]], 2000.

==== 1939 ====

* ''Un estado totalitario armonizará en España el funcionamiento de todas las capacidades y energías del país, que dentro de la Unidad Nacional, el trabajo estimado como el más ineludible de los deberes será el único exponente de la voluntad popular.''
** A [[totalitarian]] state will harmonize in Spain the operation of all the capabilities and [[energy]] in the country, that inside the [[National]] [[Unity]], the [[work]] esteemed as the most unavoidable must be the only exponent of the people's will. 
*** Victory speech in Madrid (19 May 1939), quoted in ''Espana Nuevo Siglo‎'' (1997) by Tim Connell and Juan Kattán-Ibarra, p. 174

* Let us be under no illusion. The Jewish spirit which was responsible for the alliance of large-scale capital with [[Karl Marx|Marxism]] and was the driving force behind so many anti-Spanish [[Revolution|revolutionary]] agreements, will not be got rid of in a day. 
** Victory speech in Madrid (19 May 1939)

=== 1940s ===
==== 1940 ====

===== Laureate Cross acceptance speech (July 1940) =====
:&lt;small&gt;Speech by Franco as he received the Laureate Cross of Saint Ferdinand, Spain's highest military honour, which he had originally been nominated for in 1918 while fighting in Morocco. As the award is given by the Spanish head of state, Franco essentially gave himself the decoration. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 211-214.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I say this to you because we Spaniards are a forgetful people, because we are used to living for the moment, because we do not look back, because we do not know how to see the chain of heroes, because we do not contemplate the sum of sacrifices.'''

==== 1945 ====

*We have torn up Marxist [[materialism]] and we have disorientated [[Masonry]]. We have thwarted the [[Satanic]] machinations of the clandestine Masonic superstate. Despite its control of the [[world]]’s press and numerous international politicians. Spain’s struggle is a Crusade; as soldiers of [[God]] we carry with us the evangelism of the world! 
** Speech to the women’s section of the Falange in Madrid (11 September 1945), as quoted in [http://www.freemasonrytoday.com/30/p09.php &quot;Freemasonry and the Spanish Civil War&quot;] by Matthew Scanlan.

==== 1946 ====

* The whole secret of the campaigns unleashed against Spain can be explained in two words: [[Masonry]] and [[Communism]]... we have to extirpate these two evils from our land.
** Writing under the alias Jakin Boor in the journal ''Arriba'' in an article, &quot;Masonry and Communism&quot; (14 December 1946),  as quoted in ''Franco: A Biography'' by Juan Pablo Fusi Aizpurúạ, p. 71

==Quotes About Franco==
[[File:SPA-2014-San Lorenzo de El Escorial-Valley of the Fallen (Valle de los Caídos).jpg|thumb|Franco's own [[ideology]] was deeply [[conservative]] but it was subordinated to the perputation of his own [[power]]. He maintained control by repeatedly shifting the balance of influence within the regime according to internal and external pressures, and he continued to command loyalty by allowing the self-enrichment of his elites through the institutions of the state ~ Sebastian Balfour]]
[[File:El burro i l'haca.jpg|thumb|The firm and steady hand of a great captain and patriot, in my view one of the greatest in Spain's long history, has held the tiller of the ship of state through fierce gales and in and out of sharp reefs, to steer it to a calm and prosperous anchorage. ~ José Larios]]
[[File:Evelynwaugh.jpeg|thumb|If I were a Spaniard I should be fighting for General Franco. As an Englishman I am not in the predicament of choosing between two evils. I am not a Fascist, nor shall I become one unless it were the only alternative to Marxism. It is mischievous to suggest that such a choice is imminent. ~ [[Evelyn Waugh]] ]] 
[[File:A solzhenitsin.JPG|thumb|I saw that Franco had made a heroic and colossal attempt to save his country from disintegration. With this understanding there also came amazement: there had been destruction all around, but with firm tactics Franco had managed to have Spain sidestep the Second World War without involving itself, and for twenty, thirty, thirty-five years, had kept Spain Christian against all history’s laws of decline! But then in the thirty-seventh year of his rule he died, dying to a chorus of nasty jeers from the European socialists, radicals, and liberals. ~ [[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]]]]

:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;

* Francisco Franco, the former [[fascist]] dictator of Spain, gave the [[Nazis]] a list of every [[Jew]] in his [[country]] in order to facilitate efforts to locate, deport and destroy them, according to a document found recently in a Spanish archive and reported on Sunday by the Spanish daily ''El Pais''.The paper said that in 1941, Spain prepared a list of all 6,000 Jews in its territory and gave it to the architect of the Nazis' Final Solution, [[Heinrich Himmler]]...
** Ofer Aderet, in [http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/news/wwii-document-reveals-general-franco-handed-nazis-list-of-spanish-jews-1.297546 &quot;WWII document reveals: General Franco handed Nazis list of Spanish Jews&quot;, in ''Haaretz'' (22 June 2010)]

* The document is an official order, dated May 13, 1941, issued by Franco's chief of security, [[w:Jose Maria Finat y Escriva de Romani|Jose Maria Finat y Escriva de Romani]], to all provincial governors. It instructs them to prepare a list of every Jew in their district, both local residents and foreigners, along with details about &quot;their personal and political leanings, their means of supporting themselves, their commercial activity, the level of threat they constitute and their security classification. 
** Ofer Aderet, in &quot;WWII document reveals: General Franco handed Nazis list of Spanish Jews&quot;, in ''Haaretz'' (22 June 2010)

* '''The Spanish general had neither the look nor the commanding voice of a dashing military leader. He was short, pudgy, and balding, had a droopy countenance, was prone to crying, and- when issuing orders- he tended to squeak. Colleagues tended to refer to him behind his back as &quot;Miss [[w:Canary Islands|Canary Islands]],&quot; a comment on both his demeanor and the remote site where he was stationed when the first shots were fired; but Franco was the sort of leader who could find his way through a minefield without putting a foot wrong. Unlike many, he expected the Civil War to be long, dirty, and closely fought.''' In preparation, he solicited and received aid from Hitler and Mussolini. To the irritation of both dictators, '''Franco resisted pressure for bold actions that, in his judgment, would have entailed taking excessive risks. Instead he waged war like a safecracker, turning the dial one click at a time.''' He used aerial bombardments to soften up any opposition before attacking on the ground. He paid careful attention to logistics and didn't squander his ammunition, equipment or men. He moved his headquarters close to the fighting and insisted that a field commander lead in retaking any territory on the global stage, for the [[Spanish Civil War]] (1936-1939) was of interest not solely to Spain.
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 49-50

* There are aspects of the Spanish Civil War that remain relevant today. The bloodshed generated controversy within neighboring countries, especially France, about whether to accept or turn back the tens of thousands of refugees who sought relief from the fighting. The [[w:Red Army|Russian troops]] and tanks that appeared in Spain did so without markings or insignia, just as their successors would do in the [[w:1961 Berlin crisis|1961 Berlin crisis]] and, more than fifty years later, in [[Ukraine]]. The [[Bombing of Guernica|German bombing of Guernica]], immortalized by [[Pablo Picasso|Picasso]], sparked calls for an international [[war crimes]] investigation that never took place. Instead the perpetrators first denied that any [[bombs]] had fallen, then blamed the carnage on the victims. Franco was Spain's youngest general and possibly its most cruel. He personally ordered t he [[Capital punishment|executions]] of thousands of alleged enemy combatants and sympathizers, without the slightest sign of remorse. He was deliberative, but ambitious. Even before the war had been won, he was designated the future chief of state, with full [[Dictatorship|dictatorial]] powers. Everywhere he went, Nationalist posters proclaimed, UN ESTADO, UN PAIS, UN JEFE- &quot;One state, one country, one leader,&quot; an echo of the Nazi slogan &quot;''[[w:Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer|Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer]]''.&quot;
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 51-52

* The last of the [[w:Republican faction (Spanish Civil War)|Republican]] forces surrendered to Franco on April 1, 1939. The general vowed at the time that he would never pick up his sword again except to defend his country from invasion. When Hitler urged him to bring Spain into the wartime Axis alliance, he refused as a matter of principle, then asked how much Germany was willing to pay. He set his own terms: generous amounts of military and economic aid, plus Morocco, a possession of Vichy France. The Germans viewed the price tag as exorbitant and knew that handing Morocco to Spain would so outrage the Vichy regime that it would no longer collaborate. To break the deadlock, Hitler traveled from Berlin to the Spanish frontier town of Hendaye, where, on October 23, 1940, he met with Franco. The chancellor was confident that his willingness to journey eleven hundred miles to visit the Spaniard in his own country would produce a breakthrough. After all, wasn't he the master of Europe? Instead, in a nine-hour meeting, Franco evaded every request. When Hitler pressed him for a commitment, he replied with questions. Asked to moderate his demands, he repeated them. When the Fuehrer predicted a quick victory over England, implying that Spain could wait no longer if it wanted to share in the triumph, Franco doubted the scenario before adding that, even if the Germans were to capture London, the British would keep fighting from Canada.
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 52-53

* Barely containing his fury, Hitler had no choice but to make the long trip back home empty-handed. The following February, he tried a final time, writing to Franco, &quot;We three men, the Duce, you, and I, are bound together by the most rigorous compulsion of history... In such difficult times... a bold heart can save nations.&quot; Flattery didn't work with Franco, who politely declined the chance to link his fate to the Nazis. Writing again, this time to Mussolini, Hitler predicted that Franco- who would die in his bed at the age of seventy-five- was making &quot;the greatest mistake of his life.&quot;
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 53

* '''Franco's own [[ideology]] was deeply [[conservative]] but it was subordinated to the perputation of his own [[power]].''' He maintained control by repeatedly shifting the balance of influence within the regime according to internal and external pressures, and he continued to command loyalty by allowing the self-enrichment of his elites through the institutions of the state.
** Sebastian Balfour, quoted in ''Spain: A History'' (2000), edited by [[w:Raymond Carr|Raymond Carr]] (p.265).

* &quot;Bring us Franco's balls!&quot; the men shouted. &quot;'e ain't got no bloody balls,&quot; a voice replied.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 63

* Every town along the [[w:Mediterranean Sea|Mediterranean]] shore was empty and deserted. The road was jam-packed with [[Peasant|peasants]] evacuating toward the north, on mule-back, in donkey-carts, afoot. They looked at us in the cab of the [[Car|truck]], moving against the stream they made, and they kept moving. Hundreds were camped along the roads; hundreds were plodding north toward [[w:Barcelona|Barcelona]], their few possessions, mattresses, blankets, household utensils, domestic stock, on their backs, in wheelbarrows or on their ''[[Donkeys|burros]]''' backs. Little children were walking, holding onto their mother's skirts; women carried babies; older children were driving goats, sheep; old men were helping old women along the road; their faces were impassive, dark with the dust of the roads and fields, lined and worn. Their eyes alone were bright but there was no expression in their eyes. Looking at them you knew what they were thinking: 'Franco is coming; Franco is coming.'
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 134

* Then near-by Tarragona was bombed; the Spanish, [[United Kingdom|British]], and [[United States|American]] [[Nursing|nurses]] went about their work as the windowpanes rattled and the hideous drumming reverberated throughout the house. We all ran out onto the flagstone terrace to watch the black smoke rise over Terragona, and by morning of the next day the word had come that the [[w:Fascist Italy|Italian Fascist]] troops had reached the sea at [[w:Vinaroz|Vinaroz]], below [[w:Tortosa|Tortosa]], cutting Loyalist Spain away from [[w:Catalonia|Catalonia]], and all traffic had been cut between Barcelona and [[w:Valencia|Valencia]]. (In [[Rome]], the [[w:Pope|Pope]] gave is apostolic benediction to the sacred cause of General Franco.)
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 146

* We heard- a shithouse rumor?- that we dominated the heights surrounding [[w:Lerida|Lerida]] and [[w:Balaguer|Balaguer]] (this was different); the [[newspapers]] reported that the offensive was gaining ground everywhere; the [[w:Non-Intervention Committee|Non-Intervention Committee]] met again and issued another of its 'decisions.' This time it was decided once more to withdraw all foreign 'volunteers' from Spain, but England's perfidious hand could be seen as plain as day, for wasn't [[Neville Chamberlain|Mr. Chamberlain]] interested in concluding an agreement with Banjo-Eyes? And wasn't the 'withdrawal' contingent upon British and French concession of belligerent rights to Franco, which would tip the scales even farther in his favor by legalizing what already existed- the shipment of arms, munitions, planes and tanks and men into his territory?
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 170

* North's news of Europe was disheartening. [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] had mobilized a million and a half men on the [[w:Czechoslovakia|Czech]] and [[France|French]] borders, presumably for 'maneuvers'; probably for aggression against Czechoslovakia if the democracies, as they are euphemistically described, remained supine. [[Franklin D. Roosevelt|Roosevelt]] and [[Cordell Hull|Hull]] had, it is true, made strong speeches against [[Fascism|Fascist]] aggression within the week, and called for united [[Democracy|democratic]] opposition, but when would the talking end and what good would it do? Franco, unlike the Spanish Loyalist Government, had given a categorical refusal to the Non-Intervention Committee's alleged plan for evacuation of foreign volunteers; he did worse, he said he would accept it in exchange for belligerent rights, immediately granted.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 297

* [[w:Unification Decree (Spain, 1937)|In April 1937]] Franco, as effective {{w|head of state}} of {{w|Nationalist Spain}}, fused the [[w:Falange Española de las JONS|Falange]] with the {{w|Carlists}}, [[Monarchy|monarchists]] and the rest of the right to form the single party of his regime: a process, though differently conducted, somewhat similar to {{w|Italian fascism}}'s fusion with [[Nationalism]] and [[w:Clerical fascism|Clerico-Fascism]] after 1922. The product, like the Italian Fascist regime, was a compromise between radical fascism and conservative [[authoritarianism]], in this case with unambiguous military and [[Catholic Church|Church]] support.
** [[Martin Blinkhorn]], {{cite book |title=Fascists and Conservatives: The Radical Right and the Establishment in Twentieth-Century Europe |date=2003 |publisher={{w|Routledge}} |isbn=978-1-134-99712-1 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=zr6JAgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT10 |page=10}}

* General Franco is an authentic national hero. It is generally conceded that he above others had the combination of talents, the perseverance, and the sense of righteousness of his cause, that were required to wrest Spain from the hands of the visionaries, [[Ideology|ideologues]], Marxists and [[Nihilism|nihlistis]] that were imposing on her, in the thirties, a regime so grotesque as to do violence to the Spanish soul, to deny, even Spain's historical identity.
** [[William F. Buckley, Jr.]], {{cite news |url=https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2008/02/william-f-buckley-rip.html |title=William F. Buckley, RIP |first=Timothy |last=Noah |date=February 27, 2008 |website=Slate.com}}

* General Franco made it clear that [[Spain]] could enter the [[war]] only when [[England]] was about ready to collapse.
** Admiral [[Wilhelm Canaris]]. Quoted in ''The Last European War'' (1976) by John Lukacs (p. 114). 

* I most sincerely wish to go on record as being unalterably opposed to Franco and [[fascism]], to all violations of the legal [[government]] and outrages against the people of [[w:Second Spanish Republic|Republican Spain]]. 
** [[William Faulkner]], 1938, quoted in Frederick Robert Karl, ''William Faulkner, American writer:a biography'' (1990), p. 630
*Franco ruled Spain, but not as a [[Republic]]. The [[w:Law of Succession to the Headship of the State|Succession Law of 1947]] defined the country as a monarchy, although it recognized Franco's power for his lifetime. He intended to name [[w:Juan Carlos II|Juan Carlos]], grandson of the late King [[w:Alfonso XIII|Alfonso XIII]] as his successor, although he waited another 22 years before naming him. Franco called a [[w:Plebiscite|plebiscite]] that approved his succession plans by a huge margin. He termed this (and similar votes) his 'democratic mandate': no other forms of democracy were needed. Franco was always cautious and considered all options before making up his mind. Reserved and spacious, but courteous and proud, he rarely revealed his feelings. But a particular book he published in 1952 exposed his thinking. ''Freemasonry'' blamed the problems of the world on Spain's enemies, Freemasons and Communists. For him, Roosevelt, [[Harry S. Truman|Truman]], and [[Winston Churchill|Churchill]] were all Masons, part of a destructive tide only temporarily held back by Hitler and Mussolini. When the western leaders met [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]] at [[w:Yalta Conference|Yalta]] and [[w:Potsdam Conference|Potsdam]], they confirmed Franco's worst fears. These erratic views were not widely publicized abroad. 
**Clive Foss, ''The Tyrants : 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'' (2006) pp. 145-146

*Franco celebrated 25 years of peace in 1964, basking in a [[w:Cult of personality|cult of personality]] that called him 'the man sent by God and made leader' or 'hero of the hosts of heaven and earth.' Although he was less active in the government, he was still very much in charge. His beliefs never changed: freedom would lead to [[corruption]] and [[Communism]], and the [[state]] should be based on the [[family]], the [[Town|towns]], and the party. For the first time, Franco defined his view of the state in the [[w:Organic Law (Spain)|Organic Law]] (1966): a monarchy whose only political activity was Franco's movement, whose head had extensive powers that could be challenged but not threatened by an [[Organization|assembly]]. [[Strike action|Strikes]], student unrest and regional problems, however, made it clear that his ideas were not compatible with a modern [[state]] that needed representative institutions to deal with ever more complex problems. 
**Clive Foss, ''The Tyrants : 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'' (2006) p. 146

* Franco is hardworking, has a thorough knowledge of the Spanish political and economic situations, and is more astute politically than any of his opposition.
** Stanton Griffis, United States Ambassador to Spain (1951-1952), in a dispatch to Dean Acheson, United States Secretary of State (1949-1953). As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003), p. 231

* '''Just like any honest man, I am against Franco and [[Fascism]] in Spain.''' 
** [[Ernest Hemingway]], quoted in ''Writers Take Sides : Letters About the War in Spain from 418 American Authors'' (1938) by the American Writers League, which asked various authors: &quot;Are you for or are you against Franco and fascism?&quot;.

* A great man...and the greatest and most representative of the Spanish people of the 20th century...one of the great leaders we have had in our history.
** [[Manuel Fraga Iribarne]], Spanish Politician and diplomat, on the occasion of Franco's death. Quoted in [http://www.gara.net/azkenak/01/315809/es/Frases-que-reflejan-recorrido-Manuel-Fraga &quot;Frases que reflejan el recorrido de Manuel Fraga&quot; in ''GARA'' Newspaper (16 January 2012)]

* A democracy can be highly illiberal, while on the other hand an absolute ruler could be a thorough liberal—without being for this reason the least bit democratic. Even a dictator, theoretically, could be a liberal. [...] A purely [[w:Military dictatorship|military dictatorship]] based on the bayonets and sabres of a handful of professional soldiers has greater liberal potentialities (one has only to compare Franco, [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Oliveira Salazar]] and [[Philippe Pétain|Pétain]] with [[Hitler]], [[Mussolini]] and [[Stalin]]).
** [[w:Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn|Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]] (1952). ''Liberty and Equality: The Challenge of Our Time'', Caldwell, Idaho: Caxton Printers, pp. 87-88

* Neither the [[Nazism|Nazis]] nor the [[Italy|Italians]] were able to cash in on their &quot;investments&quot; in Spain. Franco saw Hitler only once and, as an old specialist on criminals from his days in the ''Tercio'', he immediately sized up his partner.
**[[w:Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn|Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]] (1974). ''Leftism: From de Sade and Marx to Hitler and Marcuse'', Arlington House Publishers, p. 271

* The [[w:Madrid|Madrid]] victory parade took place on May 19. This time we formed the letters &quot;F-R-A-N-C-O,&quot; a still more difficult flying maneuver. We flew straight up the Castellana, high in the clear sky, while thousands of troops, tanks, and guns moved through the city. The enthusiasm was unsurpassed. A few months later I retired from the air force, but I remain in the reserve to this day. On October 19, 1939, Paz and I were married in [[w:Seville|Seville]]'s [[w:Seville Cathedral|magnificent cathedral]]. We now have six children, two girls and four boys, age eight to twenty-four. We had won the war, yet our troubles were not over by any means. A major work of reconstruction lay ahead for a ruined but vigorous and proud country. But [[World War II|a new World War]] was looming up menacingly and was to delay and hinder the steep uphill climb; also ahead lay the years of isolation by a hostile world. The years have flown and hate's sharp and bitter edge has been dulled and blunted by the healing balm of time. New generations have sprung up to fill the ranks where once stood veterans, united, shoulder to shoulder, to save Spain, our beloved country, from national death. Reconstruction has, in truth, flourished under the warm sun of [[social justice]] and twenty-five years of [[peace]], our hard-won peace. The firm and steady hand of a great captain and patriot, in my view one of the greatest in Spain's long history, has held the tiller of the ship of state through fierce gales and in and out of sharp reefs, to steer it to a calm and prosperous anchorage. If the spirit, courage, and overwhelming national enthusiasm born on July 18, 1936, can be kept alive by present generations and kindled in succeeding ones Spain need have no fear from any internal foes nor from inveterate enemies beyond her frontiers.
** José Larios, ''Combat Over Spain'' (1966), p. 266-267

* And who could tell if we were to be forced into the conflict? No one at the time could predict. We were to suffer long years of uncertainty during the World War while Spain slowly but proudly recovered from her deep wounds, unaided and isolated. Our not being drawn into war (which would have completed Spain's ruin), was, as everyone knows now, entirely due to General Franco's inflexible firmness of purpose. Not even Hitler, at the height of his power, was able to sway him to his side or alter his determination to keep Spain out of it- a remarkable feat. From the conclusion of the Spanish Civil War to this day, much has happened and much good has come to this country. Her astounding and heroic effort has not gone unrewarded, as fifteen million tourists (in 1964) can testify.
** José Larios, ''Combat Over Spain'' (1966), p. 268-269

* The crucial difference  was between the regimes of the old Right, who wanted to turn the clock back to a pre-democratic [[Elitism|elitist]] era, and the new Right who seized and sustained power through the instruments of mass [[politics]]. '''The former included General Franco and the [[Greece|Greek]] dictator [[w:Ioannis Metaxas|Metaxas]], men who feared mass politics and allied themselves with bastions of the established order such as the monarchy and the Church...the new [[w:Radical Right|radical Right]], in contrast, rose to power in Italy and Germany through elections and the [[Parliamentary system|parliamentary process]].'''
** [[w:Mark Mazower|Mark Mazower]], ''Dark Continent: Europe's 20th Century'' (1998), p. 27

* There is no question for any decent, kindly man or woman, let alone a [[Poets|poet]] or [[Writing|writer]], who ''must'' be more sensitive. '''We have to be against Franco and [[Fascism]] and for the [[people]] of [[Spain]], and the [[future]] of [[gentleness]] and [[brotherhood]] which ordinary men and women want all over the [[world]].'''
** [[w:Naomi Mitchison|Naomi Mitchison]], in 1937, as quoted in ''Spanish Front : Writers on the Civil War'' (1986) by Valentine Cunningham, p. 227 [http://spartacus-educational.com/Wmitchison.htm]

* '''The most baffling thing in the Spanish [[war]] was the behaviour of the great powers. '''The war was actually won for Franco by the [[Germans]] and [[Italians]], whose motives were obvious enough. The motives of [[France]] and [[Britain]] are less easy to understand. In 1936 it was clear to everyone that if Britain would only help the Spanish Government, even to the extent of a few million pounds’ worth of arms, Franco would collapse and German strategy would be severely dislocated. '''By that time one did not need to be a [[clairvoyant]] to foresee that war between Britain and Germany was coming; one could even foretell within a year or two when it would come.''' Yet in the most mean, [[cowardly]], [[hypocritical]] way the British ruling class did all they could to hand Spain over to Franco and the [[Nazis]]. Why? Because they were pro-Fascist, was the obvious answer. Undoubtedly they were, and yet when it came to the final showdown they chose to stand up to Germany. It is still very uncertain what plan they acted on in backing Franco, and they may have had no clear plan at all. '''Whether the British ruling class are wicked or merely [[stupid]] is one of the most difficult questions of our time, and at certain [[moments]] a very important question.'''
** [[George Orwell]], in &quot;Looking Back on the Spanish War&quot; (1943)

*General Franco, whom Sir [[Winston Churchill]] has praised as a &quot;gallant [[Christianity|Christian]] gentleman&quot;, has forbidden any work of fiction alluding to [[adultery]], though I believe he had made a special exception for the ''[[Homer|Iliad]]''. 
** [[Bertrand Russell]], in ''Dear Bertrand Russell : A selection of his correspondence with the general public 1950-1968'' (1970) 

* I saw that Franco had made a heroic and colossal attempt to save his country from disintegration. With this understanding there also came amazement: there had been destruction all around, but with firm tactics Franco had managed to have Spain sidestep the Second World War without involving itself, and for twenty, thirty, thirty-five years, had kept Spain Christian against all history’s laws of decline! But then in the thirty-seventh year of his rule he died, dying to a chorus of nasty jeers from the [[Europe|European]] [[Socialism|socialists]], [[Radicalism|radicals]], and [[Liberalism|liberals]].
** [[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]], as quoted in [https://www.firstthings.com/article/2019/02/the-caudillo ''The Caudillo''], [[W:First Things|First Things]]

* It is time to visit General Francisco Franco. A short taxi ride does it, and I am deposited at the foot of a giant, prancing stone horse bearing a triumphant-looking granite copy of the dictator.This, the only public statue of the &quot;caudillo (leader) for God and the fatherland&quot; left in Madrid, stands at the gates to the environment ministry. Here, spattered with red paint hurled by protesters and with a few bunches of wilting flowers left by his admirers, General Franco must remain. For the conservative-run city hall has decreed the generalísimo does not deserve to be knocked off his pedestal. '''Barring a small, remote Caudillo Square and a Franco Street that may or may not be named after him, this is all that remains of the man who ruled Spain for 36 years.''' 
** [[w:Giles Tremlett|Giles Tremlett]], in &quot;[http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2004/nov/27/spain.gilestremlett?INTCMP=SRCH The generalísimo remains on his pedestal]&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (27 November 2004)

* If I were a Spaniard I should be fighting for General Franco. As an Englishman I am not in the predicament of choosing between two [[evils]]. I am not a Fascist, nor shall I become one unless it were the only alternative to Marxism. It is mischievous to suggest that such a choice is imminent.
** [[Evelyn Waugh]], in 1937, as quoted in ''The Picturesque Prison : Evelyn Waugh and His Writing, (1983) by Jeffrey M. Heath, p. 49

* Franco, that [[murderous]] little &quot;Christian gentleman&quot;.
** [[H. G. Wells]], in ''The New World Order'' (1940)

* At [[w:El Pardo|El Pardo]], the former royal hunting lodge on the outskirts of Madrid where Franco lived and worked, his [[wiktionary:ormolu|ormolu]]-mounted desk and a nearby table were piled high with reports and memorandums, virtually all of them unread. &quot;When the piles become too high,&quot; he once told Prince Juan Carlos, &quot;I have everything taken out from the bottom and burned.&quot;
** [[w:Alden Whitman|Alden Whitman]], {{cite journal|title=Franco Is Dead in Madrid at 82|date=November 20, 1975|journal=The New York Times|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=mDmKCwAAQBAJ&amp;q=ormolu#v=snippet&amp;q=ormolu-mounted&amp;f=false}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcrvO5PgeKQ Speech]
{{commonscat}} 

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[[File:Francisco Franco 1930.jpg|thumb|right|One thing that I am sure of, and which I can answer truthfully, is that whatever the contingencies that may arise here, wherever I am there will be no [[Communism]].]]
'''[[w:Francisco Franco|Francisco Franco Bahamonde]]''' ([[4 December]] [[1892]] – [[20 November]] [[1975]]), commonly referred to as '''Francisco Franco''', was a military [[w:generalísimo|generalísimo]], leader of [[Spain]] (''Caudillo de España'') from October 1936 (whole country from April 1, 1939 on), and ''de-facto'' [[w:regent|regent]] of the nominally restored [[w:Spanish State|Kingdom of Spain]] from 1947 until his death in 1975.

== Quotes ==

[[File:Franco 1910.jpg|thumb|Franco in 1910]]
[[File:Emblem of the Spanish Armed Forces.svg|thumb|Spaniards! To all of you who feel holy love for Spain, to all of you who in the ranks of the army and the navy have sworn to serve the fatherland, to those of you who swore to defend it from its enemies with your lives, the nation calls you to defend it.]]
[[File:Estandarte de Francisco Franco.svg|thumb|[[Spain]]’s struggle is a Crusade; as soldiers of [[God]] we carry with us the evangelism of the [[world]]!]] 
[[File:Aigle franquiste.jpg|thumb|right|The defense of internal [[peace]] and [[order]] constitutes the sacred mission of a [[nation]]'s armed forces and that is what we have carried out.]]
[[File:Valencia329.JPG|thumb|I say this to you because we Spaniards are a forgetful people, because we are used to living for the moment, because we do not look back...]]
[[File:RETRATO DEL GRAL. FRANCISCO FRANCO BAHAMONDE (1960).jpg|thumb|Franco in 1960]]
[[File:Generalissimo Franco, Caudillo van Spanje, Bestanddeelnr 916-0979.jpg|thumb|Franco in 1964]]
[[File:Generaal Franco (statiefoto), Bestanddeelnr 919-8527.jpg|thumb|Franco in 1966]]
[[File:Francisco Franco 1975 (cropped).jpg|thumb|Franco in 1975]]

*We do not rule out that it will change in the future, but for now it is. I am convinced that [[Freemasonry|Masonry]] is very good for [[England]] in England; the bad thing is that in Spain it is still very good for England.
**To [[Foster Dulles]], Secretary of State of the United States.

* The defence of internal [[peace]] and order constitutes the sacred mission of a nation's [[Military|armed forces]] and that is what we have carried out.
** As quoted in ''The Tyrants : 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'' (2006) by Clive Foss, p. 143, &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|1905204965}} &lt;/small&gt; 
&lt;!-- Also released as ''The Tyrants: Profiles of Power and Corruption'', 2006, {{ISBN|1905204795}}. --&gt;

* The [[w:Second Spanish Republic|Spanish Republic]] did not find itself free of obligations. For the most part the leaders were [[Freemasons]]. Before their [[duty]] to their [[country]] came their obligations to the Grand Orient. In my [[opinion]], Freemasonry, with all its international influence, is the organization principally responsible for the [[political]] [[ruin]] of Spain, as well as the murder of Calvo Sotelo, who was executed in accordance with orders from the Grand Secretary of Freemasonry in Geneva.
** Interview with Spanish journalist Nena Belmonte, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20080513182157/http://www.freemasonrytoday.com/30/p09.php &quot;Freemasonry and the Spanish Civil War&quot;] by Matthew Scanlan.

===1930s===
==== 1936 ====

* '''One thing that I am sure of, and which I can answer truthfully, is that whatever the contingencies that may arise here, wherever I am there will be no [[communism]].'''
** In discussion with [[w:Niceto Alcalá-Zamora|Niceto Alcalá-Zamora]], as quoted in ''Francisco Franco : The Times and the Man'' (1938) by Joaquin Arraras, p. 159

* We strive to form a single [[national]] front against the [[Masonic]] lodges, against Moscow and the [[Marxist]] [[societies]].
** Statement in ''El defensor de Córdoba'' (24 July 1936), as cited by Javier Navarrete in [http://mcedhou1.housings.nexica.net/MAS_ALLA/html/version_texto.asp?IDArt=29 Más Allá]

* [[All]] is well, thank God... but [[victory]] will not be complete, definitive or stable, as long as [[Masonry]] is in our [[Spain]]. And how will it disappear? What to do? Ask [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]].
** Statement in ''El defensor de Córdoba'' (2 October 1936), as cited by [http://www.agustincelis.com/id64.htm Agustín Celis]

===== Manifesto of 18 July 1936 =====
:&lt;small&gt;Radio broadcast by Franco from the Canary Islands, declaring his and his soldiers' reasons for revolt against the Spanish government at the beginning of the [[Spanish Civil War]]. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003), p. 177-179. &lt;br&gt;Commentary by Cowans: &quot;After years of discussions among military officers outraged by the course of events in Republican Spain, a group of generals decided, following the recent murder of the leading conservative politician, José Calvo Sotelo, to mount an armed uprising against the government. The officers had no single commander yet, but one of their leaders was the young general Francisco Franco Bahamonde (1892-1975), who as head of Spain's Army of Africa was based in the Canary Islands. Franco made this speech over the radio. It is unlikely that many Spaniards actually heard it, but nevertheless, the speech illustrates the soldiers' grievances and the kind of arguments they made in defense of their actions.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Spaniards!'''&lt;br&gt;'''To all of you who feel holy love for Spain, to all of you who in the ranks of the army and the navy have sworn to serve the fatherland, to those of you who swore to defend it from its enemies with your lives, the nation calls you to defend it. The situation in Spain has been growing worse every day: anarchy reigns in most of the countryside and the towns; authorities named by the government preside over revolts, when they do not directly promote them. Pistols and machine guns are used to settle differences between groups of citizens, who murder each other treacherously and treasonously while the public powers do nothing to impose peace and justice.&lt;'''br&gt;Revolutionary strikes of all kinds paralyze the nation, ruining and destroying its sources of wealth and creating a situation of hunger that will throw working men into a state of desperation.&lt;br&gt;Artistic monuments and treasures are the object of the most frenzied attacks by revolutionary hordes obeying the commands they receive from foreign directors, who count on the complicity or negligence of governors and officials.&lt;br&gt;The most serious crimes are committed in the countryside while the forces of public order remain in their barracks, restrained by blind obedience to governors who intend to dishonor them. The army, the navy, and other military forces are the target of the lowest and most slanderous attacks by the very ones who should safeguard their prestige.

* States of emergency and alarm only serve to muzzle the people and to keep Spain from knowing what is happening outside the gates of their towns and cities, as well as to jail supposed political adversaries. The constitution, constantly suspended and violated, has been completely eclipsed; there is neither equality before the law nor liberty, enchained by tyranny, nor fraternity, threatened by the tearing apart of the national territory... that the governing powers themselves are promoting, nor solidarity and defense of our borders, when in the heart of Spain people listen to foreign broadcasts preaching the destruction and division of our soil.&lt;br&gt;The judiciary, whose independence the constitution guarantees, also suffers persecutions that exhaust or neutralize it, and it is the target of withering attacks on its independence.&lt;br&gt;Electoral pacts made at the cost of the integrity of the very fatherland, together with assaults on civil governments and vaults [intended] to falsify their acts, created the mask of legality that rules over us. Nothing restrains the appetite for power...&lt;br&gt;In addition to the revolutionary and ignorant spirit of the masses deceived and exploited by Soviet agents, who hide the bloody reality of that regime that has sacrificed 25 million people for its existence, there is the maliciousness and negligence of authorities of all kinds, who, protected by an incompetent government, lack the authority and prestige to impose order and the rule of liberty and justice.

* '''Can we consent to the shameful spectacle we are presenting to the world for one more day? Can we abandon Spain to the fatherland's enemies by cowardly and treasonous actions, surrendering it without a struggle and without resistance? No! The traitors may do so, but those of us who have sworn to defend it will not.''' We offer you justice and equality before the law. Peace and love among Spaniards. Liberty and fraternity free from libertinage and tyranny. Work for all. Social justice, carried out without rancor or violence, and an equitable and progressive distribution of wealth without destroying or endangering the Spanish economy. But first, a war without quarter against the exploiters of politics, against the deceivers of the honorable worker, and against the foreigners and would-be foreigners who, directly or indirectly, seek to destroy Spain. At this moment, it is Spain as a whole that is rising up and demanding peace, fraternity, and justice; in all of the regions, the army, the navy, and the forces of public order are rushing to defend the fatherland. The energy devoted to upholding order will match the magnitude of the resistance offered to it.&lt;br&gt;Our motives do not derive from the defense of a few illegitimate interests, nor from the desire to go backward along the path of history... Because the purity of our intentions prevents us from stifling those advances that represent an improvement in the political and social realm, and because the spirit of hatred and vengeance has no place in our hearts, we shall be able to salvage those legislative efforts which are compatible with the internal peace of Spain and its much-desired greatness, bringing about, for the first time in our country, the three-part order, ''Fraternity, liberty, and equality''. Spaniards: Long live Spain! Long live the honorable Spanish people!

==== 1938 ====

* '''We do not [[believe]] in [[government]] through the [[Elections|voting]] booth.''' The Spanish national will was never freely expressed through the ballot box. Spain has no foolish [[dreams]].
** Statement during the [[w:Spanish Civil War|civil war]], cited in 1938 by [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,915079,00.html ''Time'' magazine], also cited in John A. Crittenden, ''Parties and elections in the United States'', Prentice-Hall, 1982, (p.6).

* [[Fascism]], since that is the word that is used, fascism presents, wherever it manifests itself, characteristics which are varied to the extent that countries and national temperaments vary. It is essentially a defensive reaction of the organism, a manifestation of the desire to live, of the desire not to die, which at certain times seizes a whole people. So each people reacts in its own way, according to its conception of life. Our rising, here, has a Spanish meaning! What can it have in common with [[Nazism|Hitlerism]], which was, above all, a reaction against the state of things created by the defeat, and by the abdication and the despair that followed it? 
** Franco Interview with [[w:Henri Massis|Henri Massis]], 1938. Quoted in Massis's book ''Chefs'', Paris,Plon 1939.Also quoted in Richard Griffiths, ''An Intelligent Person's Guide to Fascism.'' London : [[w:Duckworth Overlook|Duckworth Publishing]], 2000.

==== 1939 ====

* ''Un estado totalitario armonizará en España el funcionamiento de todas las capacidades y energías del país, que dentro de la Unidad Nacional, el trabajo estimado como el más ineludible de los deberes será el único exponente de la voluntad popular.''
** A [[totalitarian]] state will harmonize in Spain the operation of all the capabilities and [[energy]] in the country, that inside the [[National]] [[Unity]], the [[work]] esteemed as the most unavoidable must be the only exponent of the people's will. 
*** Victory speech in Madrid (19 May 1939), quoted in ''Espana Nuevo Siglo‎'' (1997) by Tim Connell and Juan Kattán-Ibarra, p. 174

* Let us be under no illusion. The Jewish spirit which was responsible for the alliance of large-scale capital with [[Karl Marx|Marxism]] and was the driving force behind so many anti-Spanish [[Revolution|revolutionary]] agreements, will not be got rid of in a day. 
** Victory speech in Madrid (19 May 1939)

=== 1940s ===
==== 1940 ====

===== Laureate Cross acceptance speech (July 1940) =====
:&lt;small&gt;Speech by Franco as he received the Laureate Cross of Saint Ferdinand, Spain's highest military honour, which he had originally been nominated for in 1918 while fighting in Morocco. As the award is given by the Spanish head of state, Franco essentially gave himself the decoration. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 211-214.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I say this to you because we Spaniards are a forgetful people, because we are used to living for the moment, because we do not look back, because we do not know how to see the chain of heroes, because we do not contemplate the sum of sacrifices.'''

==== 1945 ====

*We have torn up Marxist [[materialism]] and we have disorientated [[Masonry]]. We have thwarted the [[Satanic]] machinations of the clandestine Masonic superstate. Despite its control of the [[world]]’s press and numerous international politicians. Spain’s struggle is a Crusade; as soldiers of [[God]] we carry with us the evangelism of the world! 
** Speech to the women’s section of the Falange in Madrid (11 September 1945), as quoted in [http://www.freemasonrytoday.com/30/p09.php &quot;Freemasonry and the Spanish Civil War&quot;] by Matthew Scanlan.

==== 1946 ====

* The whole secret of the campaigns unleashed against Spain can be explained in two words: [[Masonry]] and [[Communism]]... we have to extirpate these two evils from our land.
** Writing under the alias Jakin Boor in the journal ''Arriba'' in an article, &quot;Masonry and Communism&quot; (14 December 1946),  as quoted in ''Franco: A Biography'' by Juan Pablo Fusi Aizpurúạ, p. 71

==Quotes About Franco==
[[File:SPA-2014-San Lorenzo de El Escorial-Valley of the Fallen (Valle de los Caídos).jpg|thumb|Franco's own [[ideology]] was deeply [[conservative]] but it was subordinated to the perputation of his own [[power]]. He maintained control by repeatedly shifting the balance of influence within the regime according to internal and external pressures, and he continued to command loyalty by allowing the self-enrichment of his elites through the institutions of the state ~ Sebastian Balfour]]
[[File:El burro i l'haca.jpg|thumb|The firm and steady hand of a great captain and patriot, in my view one of the greatest in Spain's long history, has held the tiller of the ship of state through fierce gales and in and out of sharp reefs, to steer it to a calm and prosperous anchorage. ~ José Larios]]
[[File:Evelynwaugh.jpeg|thumb|If I were a Spaniard I should be fighting for General Franco. As an Englishman I am not in the predicament of choosing between two evils. I am not a Fascist, nor shall I become one unless it were the only alternative to Marxism. It is mischievous to suggest that such a choice is imminent. ~ [[Evelyn Waugh]] ]] 
[[File:A solzhenitsin.JPG|thumb|I saw that Franco had made a heroic and colossal attempt to save his country from disintegration. With this understanding there also came amazement: there had been destruction all around, but with firm tactics Franco had managed to have Spain sidestep the Second World War without involving itself, and for twenty, thirty, thirty-five years, had kept Spain Christian against all history’s laws of decline! But then in the thirty-seventh year of his rule he died, dying to a chorus of nasty jeers from the European socialists, radicals, and liberals. ~ [[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]]]]

:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;

* Francisco Franco, the former [[fascist]] dictator of Spain, gave the [[Nazis]] a list of every [[Jew]] in his [[country]] in order to facilitate efforts to locate, deport and destroy them, according to a document found recently in a Spanish archive and reported on Sunday by the Spanish daily ''El Pais''.The paper said that in 1941, Spain prepared a list of all 6,000 Jews in its territory and gave it to the architect of the Nazis' Final Solution, [[Heinrich Himmler]]...
** Ofer Aderet, in [http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/news/wwii-document-reveals-general-franco-handed-nazis-list-of-spanish-jews-1.297546 &quot;WWII document reveals: General Franco handed Nazis list of Spanish Jews&quot;, in ''Haaretz'' (22 June 2010)]

* The document is an official order, dated May 13, 1941, issued by Franco's chief of security, [[w:Jose Maria Finat y Escriva de Romani|Jose Maria Finat y Escriva de Romani]], to all provincial governors. It instructs them to prepare a list of every Jew in their district, both local residents and foreigners, along with details about &quot;their personal and political leanings, their means of supporting themselves, their commercial activity, the level of threat they constitute and their security classification. 
** Ofer Aderet, in &quot;WWII document reveals: General Franco handed Nazis list of Spanish Jews&quot;, in ''Haaretz'' (22 June 2010)

* '''The Spanish general had neither the look nor the commanding voice of a dashing military leader. He was short, pudgy, and balding, had a droopy countenance, was prone to crying, and- when issuing orders- he tended to squeak. Colleagues tended to refer to him behind his back as &quot;Miss [[w:Canary Islands|Canary Islands]],&quot; a comment on both his demeanor and the remote site where he was stationed when the first shots were fired; but Franco was the sort of leader who could find his way through a minefield without putting a foot wrong. Unlike many, he expected the Civil War to be long, dirty, and closely fought.''' In preparation, he solicited and received aid from Hitler and Mussolini. To the irritation of both dictators, '''Franco resisted pressure for bold actions that, in his judgment, would have entailed taking excessive risks. Instead he waged war like a safecracker, turning the dial one click at a time.''' He used aerial bombardments to soften up any opposition before attacking on the ground. He paid careful attention to logistics and didn't squander his ammunition, equipment or men. He moved his headquarters close to the fighting and insisted that a field commander lead in retaking any territory on the global stage, for the [[Spanish Civil War]] (1936-1939) was of interest not solely to Spain.
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 49-50

* There are aspects of the Spanish Civil War that remain relevant today. The bloodshed generated controversy within neighboring countries, especially France, about whether to accept or turn back the tens of thousands of refugees who sought relief from the fighting. The [[w:Red Army|Russian troops]] and tanks that appeared in Spain did so without markings or insignia, just as their successors would do in the [[w:1961 Berlin crisis|1961 Berlin crisis]] and, more than fifty years later, in [[Ukraine]]. The [[Bombing of Guernica|German bombing of Guernica]], immortalized by [[Pablo Picasso|Picasso]], sparked calls for an international [[war crimes]] investigation that never took place. Instead the perpetrators first denied that any [[bombs]] had fallen, then blamed the carnage on the victims. Franco was Spain's youngest general and possibly its most cruel. He personally ordered t he [[Capital punishment|executions]] of thousands of alleged enemy combatants and sympathizers, without the slightest sign of remorse. He was deliberative, but ambitious. Even before the war had been won, he was designated the future chief of state, with full [[Dictatorship|dictatorial]] powers. Everywhere he went, Nationalist posters proclaimed, UN ESTADO, UN PAIS, UN JEFE- &quot;One state, one country, one leader,&quot; an echo of the Nazi slogan &quot;''[[w:Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer|Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer]]''.&quot;
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 51-52

* The last of the [[w:Republican faction (Spanish Civil War)|Republican]] forces surrendered to Franco on April 1, 1939. The general vowed at the time that he would never pick up his sword again except to defend his country from invasion. When Hitler urged him to bring Spain into the wartime Axis alliance, he refused as a matter of principle, then asked how much Germany was willing to pay. He set his own terms: generous amounts of military and economic aid, plus Morocco, a possession of Vichy France. The Germans viewed the price tag as exorbitant and knew that handing Morocco to Spain would so outrage the Vichy regime that it would no longer collaborate. To break the deadlock, Hitler traveled from Berlin to the Spanish frontier town of Hendaye, where, on October 23, 1940, he met with Franco. The chancellor was confident that his willingness to journey eleven hundred miles to visit the Spaniard in his own country would produce a breakthrough. After all, wasn't he the master of Europe? Instead, in a nine-hour meeting, Franco evaded every request. When Hitler pressed him for a commitment, he replied with questions. Asked to moderate his demands, he repeated them. When the Fuehrer predicted a quick victory over England, implying that Spain could wait no longer if it wanted to share in the triumph, Franco doubted the scenario before adding that, even if the Germans were to capture London, the British would keep fighting from Canada.
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 52-53

* Barely containing his fury, Hitler had no choice but to make the long trip back home empty-handed. The following February, he tried a final time, writing to Franco, &quot;We three men, the Duce, you, and I, are bound together by the most rigorous compulsion of history... In such difficult times... a bold heart can save nations.&quot; Flattery didn't work with Franco, who politely declined the chance to link his fate to the Nazis. Writing again, this time to Mussolini, Hitler predicted that Franco- who would die in his bed at the age of seventy-five- was making &quot;the greatest mistake of his life.&quot;
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 53

* '''Franco's own [[ideology]] was deeply [[conservative]] but it was subordinated to the perputation of his own [[power]].''' He maintained control by repeatedly shifting the balance of influence within the regime according to internal and external pressures, and he continued to command loyalty by allowing the self-enrichment of his elites through the institutions of the state.
** Sebastian Balfour, quoted in ''Spain: A History'' (2000), edited by [[w:Raymond Carr|Raymond Carr]] (p.265).

* &quot;Bring us Franco's balls!&quot; the men shouted. &quot;'e ain't got no bloody balls,&quot; a voice replied.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 63

* Every town along the [[w:Mediterranean Sea|Mediterranean]] shore was empty and deserted. The road was jam-packed with [[Peasant|peasants]] evacuating toward the north, on mule-back, in donkey-carts, afoot. They looked at us in the cab of the [[Car|truck]], moving against the stream they made, and they kept moving. Hundreds were camped along the roads; hundreds were plodding north toward [[w:Barcelona|Barcelona]], their few possessions, mattresses, blankets, household utensils, domestic stock, on their backs, in wheelbarrows or on their ''[[Donkeys|burros]]''' backs. Little children were walking, holding onto their mother's skirts; women carried babies; older children were driving goats, sheep; old men were helping old women along the road; their faces were impassive, dark with the dust of the roads and fields, lined and worn. Their eyes alone were bright but there was no expression in their eyes. Looking at them you knew what they were thinking: 'Franco is coming; Franco is coming.'
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 134

* Then near-by Tarragona was bombed; the Spanish, [[United Kingdom|British]], and [[United States|American]] [[Nursing|nurses]] went about their work as the windowpanes rattled and the hideous drumming reverberated throughout the house. We all ran out onto the flagstone terrace to watch the black smoke rise over Terragona, and by morning of the next day the word had come that the [[w:Fascist Italy|Italian Fascist]] troops had reached the sea at [[w:Vinaroz|Vinaroz]], below [[w:Tortosa|Tortosa]], cutting Loyalist Spain away from [[w:Catalonia|Catalonia]], and all traffic had been cut between Barcelona and [[w:Valencia|Valencia]]. (In [[Rome]], the [[w:Pope|Pope]] gave is apostolic benediction to the sacred cause of General Franco.)
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 146

* We heard- a shithouse rumor?- that we dominated the heights surrounding [[w:Lerida|Lerida]] and [[w:Balaguer|Balaguer]] (this was different); the [[newspapers]] reported that the offensive was gaining ground everywhere; the [[w:Non-Intervention Committee|Non-Intervention Committee]] met again and issued another of its 'decisions.' This time it was decided once more to withdraw all foreign 'volunteers' from Spain, but England's perfidious hand could be seen as plain as day, for wasn't [[Neville Chamberlain|Mr. Chamberlain]] interested in concluding an agreement with Banjo-Eyes? And wasn't the 'withdrawal' contingent upon British and French concession of belligerent rights to Franco, which would tip the scales even farther in his favor by legalizing what already existed- the shipment of arms, munitions, planes and tanks and men into his territory?
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 170

* North's news of Europe was disheartening. [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] had mobilized a million and a half men on the [[w:Czechoslovakia|Czech]] and [[France|French]] borders, presumably for 'maneuvers'; probably for aggression against Czechoslovakia if the democracies, as they are euphemistically described, remained supine. [[Franklin D. Roosevelt|Roosevelt]] and [[Cordell Hull|Hull]] had, it is true, made strong speeches against [[Fascism|Fascist]] aggression within the week, and called for united [[Democracy|democratic]] opposition, but when would the talking end and what good would it do? Franco, unlike the Spanish Loyalist Government, had given a categorical refusal to the Non-Intervention Committee's alleged plan for evacuation of foreign volunteers; he did worse, he said he would accept it in exchange for belligerent rights, immediately granted.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 297

* [[w:Unification Decree (Spain, 1937)|In April 1937]] Franco, as effective {{w|head of state}} of {{w|Nationalist Spain}}, fused the [[w:Falange Española de las JONS|Falange]] with the {{w|Carlists}}, [[Monarchy|monarchists]] and the rest of the right to form the single party of his regime: a process, though differently conducted, somewhat similar to {{w|Italian fascism}}'s fusion with [[Nationalism]] and [[w:Clerical fascism|Clerico-Fascism]] after 1922. The product, like the Italian Fascist regime, was a compromise between radical fascism and conservative [[authoritarianism]], in this case with unambiguous military and [[Catholic Church|Church]] support.
** [[Martin Blinkhorn]], {{cite book |title=Fascists and Conservatives: The Radical Right and the Establishment in Twentieth-Century Europe |date=2003 |publisher={{w|Routledge}} |isbn=978-1-134-99712-1 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=zr6JAgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT10 |page=10}}

* General Franco is an authentic national hero. It is generally conceded that he above others had the combination of talents, the perseverance, and the sense of righteousness of his cause, that were required to wrest Spain from the hands of the visionaries, [[Ideology|ideologues]], Marxists and [[Nihilism|nihlistis]] that were imposing on her, in the thirties, a regime so grotesque as to do violence to the Spanish soul, to deny, even Spain's historical identity.
** [[William F. Buckley, Jr.]], {{cite news |url=https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2008/02/william-f-buckley-rip.html |title=William F. Buckley, RIP |first=Timothy |last=Noah |date=February 27, 2008 |website=Slate.com}}

* General Franco made it clear that [[Spain]] could enter the [[war]] only when [[England]] was about ready to collapse.
** Admiral [[Wilhelm Canaris]]. Quoted in ''The Last European War'' (1976) by John Lukacs (p. 114). 

* I most sincerely wish to go on record as being unalterably opposed to Franco and [[fascism]], to all violations of the legal [[government]] and outrages against the people of [[w:Second Spanish Republic|Republican Spain]]. 
** [[William Faulkner]], 1938, quoted in Frederick Robert Karl, ''William Faulkner, American writer:a biography'' (1990), p. 630
*Franco ruled Spain, but not as a [[Republic]]. The [[w:Law of Succession to the Headship of the State|Succession Law of 1947]] defined the country as a monarchy, although it recognized Franco's power for his lifetime. He intended to name [[w:Juan Carlos II|Juan Carlos]], grandson of the late King [[w:Alfonso XIII|Alfonso XIII]] as his successor, although he waited another 22 years before naming him. Franco called a [[w:Plebiscite|plebiscite]] that approved his succession plans by a huge margin. He termed this (and similar votes) his 'democratic mandate': no other forms of democracy were needed. Franco was always cautious and considered all options before making up his mind. Reserved and spacious, but courteous and proud, he rarely revealed his feelings. But a particular book he published in 1952 exposed his thinking. ''Freemasonry'' blamed the problems of the world on Spain's enemies, Freemasons and Communists. For him, Roosevelt, [[Harry S. Truman|Truman]], and [[Winston Churchill|Churchill]] were all Masons, part of a destructive tide only temporarily held back by Hitler and Mussolini. When the western leaders met [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]] at [[w:Yalta Conference|Yalta]] and [[w:Potsdam Conference|Potsdam]], they confirmed Franco's worst fears. These erratic views were not widely publicized abroad. 
**Clive Foss, ''The Tyrants : 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'' (2006) pp. 145-146

*Franco celebrated 25 years of peace in 1964, basking in a [[w:Cult of personality|cult of personality]] that called him 'the man sent by God and made leader' or 'hero of the hosts of heaven and earth.' Although he was less active in the government, he was still very much in charge. His beliefs never changed: freedom would lead to [[corruption]] and [[Communism]], and the [[state]] should be based on the [[family]], the [[Town|towns]], and the party. For the first time, Franco defined his view of the state in the [[w:Organic Law (Spain)|Organic Law]] (1966): a monarchy whose only political activity was Franco's movement, whose head had extensive powers that could be challenged but not threatened by an [[Organization|assembly]]. [[Strike action|Strikes]], student unrest and regional problems, however, made it clear that his ideas were not compatible with a modern [[state]] that needed representative institutions to deal with ever more complex problems. 
**Clive Foss, ''The Tyrants : 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'' (2006) p. 146

* Franco is hardworking, has a thorough knowledge of the Spanish political and economic situations, and is more astute politically than any of his opposition.
** Stanton Griffis, United States Ambassador to Spain (1951-1952), in a dispatch to Dean Acheson, United States Secretary of State (1949-1953). As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003), p. 231

* '''Just like any honest man, I am against Franco and [[Fascism]] in Spain.''' 
** [[Ernest Hemingway]], quoted in ''Writers Take Sides : Letters About the War in Spain from 418 American Authors'' (1938) by the American Writers League, which asked various authors: &quot;Are you for or are you against Franco and fascism?&quot;.

* A great man...and the greatest and most representative of the Spanish people of the 20th century...one of the great leaders we have had in our history.
** [[Manuel Fraga Iribarne]], Spanish Politician and diplomat, on the occasion of Franco's death. Quoted in [http://www.gara.net/azkenak/01/315809/es/Frases-que-reflejan-recorrido-Manuel-Fraga &quot;Frases que reflejan el recorrido de Manuel Fraga&quot; in ''GARA'' Newspaper (16 January 2012)]

* A democracy can be highly illiberal, while on the other hand an absolute ruler could be a thorough liberal—without being for this reason the least bit democratic. Even a dictator, theoretically, could be a liberal. [...] A purely [[w:Military dictatorship|military dictatorship]] based on the bayonets and sabres of a handful of professional soldiers has greater liberal potentialities (one has only to compare Franco, [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Oliveira Salazar]] and [[Philippe Pétain|Pétain]] with [[Hitler]], [[Mussolini]] and [[Stalin]]).
** [[w:Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn|Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]] (1952). ''Liberty and Equality: The Challenge of Our Time'', Caldwell, Idaho: Caxton Printers, pp. 87-88

* Neither the [[Nazism|Nazis]] nor the [[Italy|Italians]] were able to cash in on their &quot;investments&quot; in Spain. Franco saw Hitler only once and, as an old specialist on criminals from his days in the ''Tercio'', he immediately sized up his partner.
**[[w:Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn|Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]] (1974). ''Leftism: From de Sade and Marx to Hitler and Marcuse'', Arlington House Publishers, p. 271

* The [[w:Madrid|Madrid]] victory parade took place on May 19. This time we formed the letters &quot;F-R-A-N-C-O,&quot; a still more difficult flying maneuver. We flew straight up the Castellana, high in the clear sky, while thousands of troops, tanks, and guns moved through the city. The enthusiasm was unsurpassed. A few months later I retired from the air force, but I remain in the reserve to this day. On October 19, 1939, Paz and I were married in [[w:Seville|Seville]]'s [[w:Seville Cathedral|magnificent cathedral]]. We now have six children, two girls and four boys, age eight to twenty-four. We had won the war, yet our troubles were not over by any means. A major work of reconstruction lay ahead for a ruined but vigorous and proud country. But [[World War II|a new World War]] was looming up menacingly and was to delay and hinder the steep uphill climb; also ahead lay the years of isolation by a hostile world. The years have flown and hate's sharp and bitter edge has been dulled and blunted by the healing balm of time. New generations have sprung up to fill the ranks where once stood veterans, united, shoulder to shoulder, to save Spain, our beloved country, from national death. Reconstruction has, in truth, flourished under the warm sun of [[social justice]] and twenty-five years of [[peace]], our hard-won peace. The firm and steady hand of a great captain and patriot, in my view one of the greatest in Spain's long history, has held the tiller of the ship of state through fierce gales and in and out of sharp reefs, to steer it to a calm and prosperous anchorage. If the spirit, courage, and overwhelming national enthusiasm born on July 18, 1936, can be kept alive by present generations and kindled in succeeding ones Spain need have no fear from any internal foes nor from inveterate enemies beyond her frontiers.
** José Larios, ''Combat Over Spain'' (1966), p. 266-267

* And who could tell if we were to be forced into the conflict? No one at the time could predict. We were to suffer long years of uncertainty during the World War while Spain slowly but proudly recovered from her deep wounds, unaided and isolated. Our not being drawn into war (which would have completed Spain's ruin), was, as everyone knows now, entirely due to General Franco's inflexible firmness of purpose. Not even Hitler, at the height of his power, was able to sway him to his side or alter his determination to keep Spain out of it- a remarkable feat. From the conclusion of the Spanish Civil War to this day, much has happened and much good has come to this country. Her astounding and heroic effort has not gone unrewarded, as fifteen million tourists (in 1964) can testify.
** José Larios, ''Combat Over Spain'' (1966), p. 268-269

* The crucial difference  was between the regimes of the old Right, who wanted to turn the clock back to a pre-democratic [[Elitism|elitist]] era, and the new Right who seized and sustained power through the instruments of mass [[politics]]. '''The former included General Franco and the [[Greece|Greek]] dictator [[w:Ioannis Metaxas|Metaxas]], men who feared mass politics and allied themselves with bastions of the established order such as the monarchy and the Church...the new [[w:Radical Right|radical Right]], in contrast, rose to power in Italy and Germany through elections and the [[Parliamentary system|parliamentary process]].'''
** [[w:Mark Mazower|Mark Mazower]], ''Dark Continent: Europe's 20th Century'' (1998), p. 27

* There is no question for any decent, kindly man or woman, let alone a [[Poets|poet]] or [[Writing|writer]], who ''must'' be more sensitive. '''We have to be against Franco and [[Fascism]] and for the [[people]] of [[Spain]], and the [[future]] of [[gentleness]] and [[brotherhood]] which ordinary men and women want all over the [[world]].'''
** [[w:Naomi Mitchison|Naomi Mitchison]], in 1937, as quoted in ''Spanish Front : Writers on the Civil War'' (1986) by Valentine Cunningham, p. 227 [http://spartacus-educational.com/Wmitchison.htm]

* '''The most baffling thing in the Spanish [[war]] was the behaviour of the great powers. '''The war was actually won for Franco by the [[Germans]] and [[Italians]], whose motives were obvious enough. The motives of [[France]] and [[Britain]] are less easy to understand. In 1936 it was clear to everyone that if Britain would only help the Spanish Government, even to the extent of a few million pounds’ worth of arms, Franco would collapse and German strategy would be severely dislocated. '''By that time one did not need to be a [[clairvoyant]] to foresee that war between Britain and Germany was coming; one could even foretell within a year or two when it would come.''' Yet in the most mean, [[cowardly]], [[hypocritical]] way the British ruling class did all they could to hand Spain over to Franco and the [[Nazis]]. Why? Because they were pro-Fascist, was the obvious answer. Undoubtedly they were, and yet when it came to the final showdown they chose to stand up to Germany. It is still very uncertain what plan they acted on in backing Franco, and they may have had no clear plan at all. '''Whether the British ruling class are wicked or merely [[stupid]] is one of the most difficult questions of our time, and at certain [[moments]] a very important question.'''
** [[George Orwell]], in &quot;Looking Back on the Spanish War&quot; (1943)

*General Franco, whom Sir [[Winston Churchill]] has praised as a &quot;gallant [[Christianity|Christian]] gentleman&quot;, has forbidden any work of fiction alluding to [[adultery]], though I believe he had made a special exception for the ''[[Homer|Iliad]]''. 
** [[Bertrand Russell]], in ''Dear Bertrand Russell : A selection of his correspondence with the general public 1950-1968'' (1970) 

* I saw that Franco had made a heroic and colossal attempt to save his country from disintegration. With this understanding there also came amazement: there had been destruction all around, but with firm tactics Franco had managed to have Spain sidestep the Second World War without involving itself, and for twenty, thirty, thirty-five years, had kept Spain Christian against all history’s laws of decline! But then in the thirty-seventh year of his rule he died, dying to a chorus of nasty jeers from the [[Europe|European]] [[Socialism|socialists]], [[Radicalism|radicals]], and [[Liberalism|liberals]].
** [[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]], as quoted in [https://www.firstthings.com/article/2019/02/the-caudillo ''The Caudillo''], [[W:First Things|First Things]]

* It is time to visit General Francisco Franco. A short taxi ride does it, and I am deposited at the foot of a giant, prancing stone horse bearing a triumphant-looking granite copy of the dictator.This, the only public statue of the &quot;caudillo (leader) for God and the fatherland&quot; left in Madrid, stands at the gates to the environment ministry. Here, spattered with red paint hurled by protesters and with a few bunches of wilting flowers left by his admirers, General Franco must remain. For the conservative-run city hall has decreed the generalísimo does not deserve to be knocked off his pedestal. '''Barring a small, remote Caudillo Square and a Franco Street that may or may not be named after him, this is all that remains of the man who ruled Spain for 36 years.''' 
** [[w:Giles Tremlett|Giles Tremlett]], in &quot;[http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2004/nov/27/spain.gilestremlett?INTCMP=SRCH The generalísimo remains on his pedestal]&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (27 November 2004)

* If I were a Spaniard I should be fighting for General Franco. As an Englishman I am not in the predicament of choosing between two [[evils]]. I am not a Fascist, nor shall I become one unless it were the only alternative to Marxism. It is mischievous to suggest that such a choice is imminent.
** [[Evelyn Waugh]], in 1937, as quoted in ''The Picturesque Prison : Evelyn Waugh and His Writing, (1983) by Jeffrey M. Heath, p. 49

* Franco, that [[murderous]] little &quot;Christian gentleman&quot;.
** [[H. G. Wells]], in ''The New World Order'' (1940)

* At [[w:El Pardo|El Pardo]], the former royal hunting lodge on the outskirts of Madrid where Franco lived and worked, his [[wiktionary:ormolu|ormolu]]-mounted desk and a nearby table were piled high with reports and memorandums, virtually all of them unread. &quot;When the piles become too high,&quot; he once told Prince Juan Carlos, &quot;I have everything taken out from the bottom and burned.&quot;
** [[w:Alden Whitman|Alden Whitman]], {{cite journal|title=Franco Is Dead in Madrid at 82|date=November 20, 1975|journal=The New York Times|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=mDmKCwAAQBAJ&amp;q=ormolu#v=snippet&amp;q=ormolu-mounted&amp;f=false}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcrvO5PgeKQ Speech]
{{commonscat}} 

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[[Category:Anti-communists]]
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[[Category:Fascist rulers]]
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[[Category:Nationalists]]
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[[Category:People from Galicia]]
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      <text bytes="22641" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Michelle Pfeiffer 2007.jpg|thumb|right|I act for free, but I demand a huge salary as compensation for all the annoyance of being a public personality.]]
'''[[w:Michelle Pfeiffer|Michelle Marie Pfeiffer]]''' (born [[April 29]], [[1958]]) is an American actress and singer.  

== Quotes ==
[[File:Michelle Pfeiffer 01.jpg|thumb|right|I was very strong-willed, very stubborn, and fairly dramatic, I guess.]]
[[File:Michelle Pfeiffer 1990.jpg|thumb|right|You know, I look like a duck. I just do. And I'm not the only person who thinks that.]]
[[File:Michelle Pfeiffer 1994.jpg|thumb|right|I wasn't inclined at all to actually become an actress. I mean, that wasn't something that was... in the stars for me, no pun intended.]]

* '''Even from the beginning, when I was doing junk television, I still had this focus. I knew I wasn't going to be doing that forever, that I wasn't going to be like that...'''
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1989-02_Vanity.htm ''Vanity Fair'' (1989)]

* '''I act for free, but I demand a huge salary as compensation for all the annoyance of being a public personality.''' In that sense, I earn every dime I make.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mich_Quo1.htm ''Esquire'' (1990)]

* '''You know, I look like a duck. I just do. And I'm not the only person who thinks that.''' It's the way my mouth sort of curls up or my nose tilts up. I should have played [[w:Howard the Duck|Howard the Duck]].
** [http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20128142,00.html ''People'' magazine (1990)]

* '''I don't like talking about the characters I do in film, ever.''' There's no deep, dark meaning. It's just an idea. It's just an idea.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1991-10_Vogue.htm ''Vogue'' (1991)]

* I had a big mouth, and I used to mouth off to my mother all the time. But I'd make sure my father wasn't in earshot, because he'd let me have it. '''I was very strong-willed, very stubborn, and fairly dramatic, I guess.''' I remember my mother calling me a drama queen when I would be carrying on: 'Here's my little actress.' And I was a real tomboy. I wasn't a terribly feminine little girl. I never thought I was attractive to boys; I remember when the first boy liked me, I couldn't believe it. All the little girls with ringlets and crinoline dresses were the ones the boys liked. I was always beating them up — why should they like me? I was always the biggest girl in the class, and if somebody wanted someone beaten up, they'd come and get me. I was the school bully. No wonder I played Catwoman. It all comes full circle.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1993-09_VanityFair.htm ''Vanity Fair'' (1993)]

* The description of the character is that Frankie is an attractive woman if she'd just put a little effort into how she looks. So that's basically the way I played her. '''I consider myself an attractive woman, and I can be not-so-great-looking if I don't put effort into how I look.''' But more importantly, the core of the character was someone who had given up on love, and that could be any age, any size, any form of beauty. '''That could be anybody.'''
** In response to criticism that she was too beautiful to play a lonely waitress in ''Frankie and Johnny'', quoted in ''Pfeiffer: Beyond the Age of Innocence'' by Thompson, p. 223

* '''I used to stay up very late at night, much later than I probably should have for such a youngster, and I used to watch very old black-and-white movies with, you know, [[Bette Davis]] and [[w:Joan Crawford|Joan Crawford]], but I remember watching them thinking 'I could do that'... Even though I wasn't inclined at all to actually become an actress.''' I mean, that wasn't something that was... in the stars for me, no pun intended.
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 Interview on ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* So I do the test, and we do this scene, and it's the scene at the end where I throw dishes, and so I threw some dishes... and 'Cut!'... And I look around, and there's blood everywhere, because I broke a plate or something, and they're all checking me — 'Oh my God, she cut herself' — and couldn't find any cut, and then I look, and I realise. I see Al's hand is bleeding. And I cut [[Al Pacino]], in my screen test. I think then he liked me. I think that was actually the turning point.
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 On auditioning for ''Scarface'', from ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* '''I don't like improvisation. I really don't.''' I'm the only one that will admit it. Because I think people think you're not a real actor if you don't like to improv. I don't like it.
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* '''It's usually just awkward. It's not terribly romantic or steamy.''' Sometimes people's wives show up — &quot;Hey, how you doing?&quot;… I had a wedding scene with someone once, and the girlfriend showed up in a white dress...
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 On love scenes with male co-stars, from ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* '''That would have to be the F-word.''' Do you want me to say it? '''It's so descriptive, it can be used in so many ways — it can be used lovingly, it can be used in the most hateful — it's just very versatile... and you know, it's just, sometimes no other word will do.'''
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 In response to the question, &quot;What is your favourite curse word?&quot; from ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* '''I always look at it as — it's like a treasure map, and each little detail in it, you sort of look at it for information and it points you in the right direction, to tell you where you need to go.''' You start out with a few choices, obviously — I need to learn the clarinet or I need to learn the cello, or I need to learn how to stay underwater without panicking — but it is like painting in a way, that at a certain point, the painting begins to tell you what to do. And with acting, it's the same — with acting in film, anyway — at a certain point then, what you've already put on screen begins to dictate to you where you need to go, and then it just starts to create itself in a way. And what I try to do is find a strand of myself, as different as I might feel the character is from me, and as removed as it is, I always try to find that one part of me. And then you kind of build on to that, because it's a way to keep you connected. And you never want to lose that connection. '''There's always some sort of parallel that's going on in my own life, and so you can use it to, you know, bring closure, perhaps, to certain things that you haven't. A healing, a reconnection. And I believe in that. I believe in that.'''
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 In response to the question, &quot;How do you approach your roles?&quot; from ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* Eating a [[Veganism|vegan]] diet — it’s just so much healthier — and you avoid a lot of toxins that could age your skin and your body. I really noticed a difference in my skin not too long after switching to fully vegan. … The older I’ve gotten, the more it’s occurred to me that I’m doing it in order to live longer, though the vanity component will always be there. … I just told myself one day that I’m going to do it and I’m going to give myself eight weeks. And that I’m not going to commit on this for a lifetime because it’s psychologically huge for people to wrap their minds around it. And I’m just going to see how I feel, I’m going to test my blood again and see if there’s anything. Giving it that long you sort of get over the fact of feeling how big and difficult it is at the beginning. And if you really give yourself long enough to start feeling differently and sort of see the benefits then it will be great.
** [http://urbanette.com/michelle-pfeiffer-interview/ &quot;Michelle Pfeiffer’s Big Secret&quot;, interview with ''Urbanette'' (February 2016)]

== Quotes about Pfeiffer ==
* 'She's the blonde in ''Scarface'',' they say to me about Michelle Pfeiffer. Now her I know. She made this year's great movie entrance, descending, back to camera, in the glass elevator of a drug czar's Florida mansion, wearing a green satin evening dress that seemed about to fall off her. Rarely in a movie have I seen an actress so perfectly groomed, so coolly elegant. There hasn't been a platinum-blonde star for a long time, and I waited, fascinated, to meet her. She is on the verge of stardom. In the parlance of the industry, she is hot. She is appearing in one hot movie, has another coming out, and others await only her availability to begin shooting. 'Hello,' she said, when she arrived. 'Hello,' I replied, trying to zero in on the unfamiliar face... and then it registered: Michelle Pfeiffer is, alas, no longer blonde. She became blonde for the role. Nor is she a fashion plate. In fact, she has absolutely no interest in fashion or chic. Like Garbo, who cared nothing for such trappings either, she took on the accoutrements that went along with the part, so convincingly that I had assumed the end product was the starting point — the reason she had been cast in the first place.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1984-04_Vanity.htm Dominick Dunne for ''Vanity Fair'']

* Michelle represents the best of both worlds. She's very feminine, understated and sophisticated, yet also mysterious, confident and provocative.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mich_Quo2.htm Giorgio Armani, fashion designer]

* I think that, more than any other &quot;beautiful actress,&quot; Michelle has been handicapped by her appearance. She has such an overwhelming face that people have tended to cast her because of the way she looks... I have a feeling she's been in touch with her gift all along, and that she's exhibited enormous patience with those of us who tend to focus first on how gorgeous she is.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1988-09_Premiere.htm Jonathan Demme, director of ''Married to the Mob'']

* Basically, she's a character actress... I think that's a strength. She's someone who will endure because she'll find characters to play. And she happens also to be a leading-lady type, which is, I guess, glamorous. She has both... I mean, is someone doing what they should be doing? That's the question.
** [http://velvet_peach.tripod.com/fpacscarface.html Al Pacino, co-star in ''Scarface'' and ''Frankie and Johnny'']

* I didn't recognize her from one film to the next. I wasn't really looking at Michelle Pfeiffer; I was looking at the character in the movie. The thing that really clinched it was ''Married to the Mob''. She had a kind of honesty in the character, and she had just the right amount of humor. She wasn't putting down the character; she wasn't making a value judgment on the character. She really was like the people I grew up with. The characters were Italians from Long Island, and here was an actress of a different type, different background, coming in and making me believe totally. That really made me sit up and take note. And then, when ''Dangerous Liaisons'' came out, I thought, 'She's the best we have.'
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mich_Quo2.htm Martin Scorsese, director of ''The Age of Innocence'']

* The only friend I trust not to distort or misuse what I say is Michelle Pfeiffer.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Bio_022.htm Cher, co-star in ''The Witches of Eastwick'']

* She was kind of shy, and halfway through the year, in fact, it was the end of the second semester where the other kids had been doing the debating and making the fiery speeches and stuff, Michelle hadn't volunteered very much. But then we did the Harry Truman trial, where they bring in witnesses. The players had to get some other kids to participate, so a little peer pressure. Michelle ended up being one of the victims of the bomb. She gets on the stand, and she had dressed herself up as a victim and had gauze and everything. She starts to talk, and she starts crying. You ever been in a play or something where you feel kind of uncomfortable that all of a sudden someone's doing something so emotional you don't know what to do? She does that to the class. And they're looking, and they can't figure out. What the hell is she doing? She hasn't been like this all year. It was just a stunning performance. And we thought, God, she really is a victim of the bomb. To the end of the year, we had her take on some more responsibility. But that was the first little bit of acting.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Bio_007.htm John Bovberg, Pfeiffer's school teacher]

* She had to have been a couple of years out of high school when I met her in Vons (it's a clothing store now) and I was only in El Toro by chance. When I saw her at the supermarket, there was a difference. Something had happened in there. I don't know if it's because she tried some other things. She had this steely look of determination. She looked at me, and she says, 'I'm gonna be an actress.' And I remember telling her, 'Now, Michelle, a lot of people have agents and wanna be an actress and...' And, 'No, no.' She told me there was this movie with Tony Danza, ''The Hollywood Knights''. She was just trying out for it, and she thought she might have a chance for it. I give her that look, 'Now, Michelle.' I don't know. You'll see a kid coming through that'll tell you, 'I'm going to be a doctor.' They're just hell bent, they're sure that's what they're going to do. Nothing stops them from doing it. And some kids do that. And then I get a call, 'Hey, you gonna be in your room today?' And they come back, and they've just gotten their law degree from Harvard or something. And it's usually one of those kids who has that look. And she had that look... I was a single parent, and I was ironing at two o'clock in the morning. That's when I do my ironing and catch my breath. This movie comes on, ''The Hollywood Knights'', and I'm thinking, trying to figure out where I heard that name. And I'm watching, and then Tony Danza and his girlfriend come by. And you do a double take. I go, 'Michelle?' Well, she got the part. I couldn't believe it. I'm thinking I got a student who got a role in a movie. Good for you. I'm watching it. You know, you're kind of proud of her. And there she is. It was a little role but she was good in it.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Bio_007.htm John Bovberg, Pfeiffer's school teacher]

* I showed Stephen [Frears] a couple of reels of ''Married'' when he was considering Michelle for ''Liaisons''. And he was clearly under her spell. But maybe he hesitated for an instant. He said, 'You know, she's going to be out there with John Malkovich and Glenn Close.' And I thought but didn't say, 'They'd better watch out then.'
** [http://www.salon.com/people/bc/1999/05/25/pfeiffer/ Jonathan Demme, director of ''Married to the Mob'']

* She was very, very particular about the visual aspects of what we were doing. After seeing the first rushes of film, she requested that her costumes be made less splendid. In fact, we reduced things. But it also had to do with the fact that it's Michelle Pfeiffer's face. She was so beautiful that they had to tone down the glories of the gowns to make her less stunning.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1989-02_Vanity.htm James Acheson, costume designer on ''Dangerous Liaisons'']

* There was a pronunciation and approach that seemed Dylan-influenced. Vowels were swallowed, word endings were given short or no shrift. When we worked, it almost became a joke with us that I was constantly reminding her to say the consonants as well as the vowels... And Michelle, must you continue to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day?... I can swear that every single note in that movie was hers. Seeing Michelle up there was like watching myself or my daughter. I was so nervous. I wanted her to be so good. I didn't want to feel as if I'd let her down.
** [http://web.archive.org/20020221182002/fabulousbakers.tripod.com/ab/bakerboys/interview18.html Sally Stevens, vocal coach on ''The Fabulous Baker Boys'']

* She became a singer, and it was an extraordinary kind of example — graphic example — of what a good actor can really do, you know. She spent a lot of research time, she went around and heard singers and studied what they did. Everything from, of course, all the body language and all of that stuff — but vocally, we went in the studio and she sang a version of ''My Funny Valentine'' that, I mean... it killed me.
** [http://web.archive.org/20060514051718/fabulousbakers.tripod.com/ab/bakerboys/interview11.html Dave Grusin, composer on ''The Fabulous Baker Boys'']

* A lot of times I looked into the camera and said, 'Too pretty.' We changed the lighting and hair. You know, she was hired originally in the town as a beautiful girl, but she's learned how to act. She's an actress of unlimited range. She works incredibly hard — the body language, the hair, the voice. She's not bothered by movie star stuff — whether she has a rug in her trailer or not. She doesn't care.
** [http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0CE2D8133BF935A35753C1A967958260 Garry Marshall, director of ''Frankie and Johnny'']

* Pfeiffer in particular takes the sort of glamorous yet preposterous part that generally defeats even the best actress and somehow contrives to make it credible every inch of the way.
** [http://www.timeout.com/film/reviews/76132/into-the-night.html ''Time Out'' on ''Into the Night'' (1985)]

* Alda's best-written character in the movie probably is Faith Healy, the sexy actress played by Pfeiffer. Her performance uses some wonderfully subtle touches, as she moves back and forth between her historical character and her distinctly more cynical modern one.
** [http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19860516/REVIEWS/605160301/1023 ''Chicago Sun-Times'' on ''Sweet Liberty'' (1986)]

* Michelle Pfeiffer has the pivotal role of the movie and perhaps of her career as Angela de Marco, the unhappy missus of Frankie (The Cucumber). Shedding her WASP identity completely, Pfeiffer becomes the Italian princess, right down to the Long Island accent. Angela is an updated suburban moll, a gum-popper with press-on nails and lots of sweaters applique'd with feathers. She looks like a caricature, but there's anguish under all that mascara... This is her second movie marriage to the mob. As the wife in ''Scarface'', she was the Latino mobster's WASP ornament, cold, trapped and tragic. As the Cucumber's widow, she's a deft comedian instead. It's her movie, and she graces it.
** [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/marriedtothemobrkempley_a0c9f5.htm ''Washington Post'' on ''Married To The Mob'' (1988)]

*  For Pfeiffer, in a year that has seen her in varied assignments such as ''Married to the Mob'' and ''Tequila Sunrise'', the movie is more evidence of her versatility. She is good when she is innocent and superb when she is guilty.
** [http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19890113/REVIEWS/901130302/1023 ''Chicago Sun-Times'' on ''Dangerous Liaisons'' (1988)]

* This is one of the movies they will use as a document, years from now, when they begin to trace the steps by which Pfeiffer became a great star. I cannot claim that I spotted her unique screen presence in her first movie, which, I think, was ''Grease 2'', but certainly by the time she made ''Ladyhawke'' and ''Tequila Sunrise'' and ''Dangerous Liaisons'' and ''Married to the Mob'', something was going on. This is the movie of her flowering — not just as a beautiful woman, but as an actress with the ability to make you care about her, to make you feel what she feels. All of those qualities are here in this movie, and so is the &quot;Makin' Whoopee&quot; number, which I can only praise by adding it to a short list: whatever she's doing while she performs that song isn't merely singing; it's whatever Rita Hayworth did in ''Gilda'' and Marilyn Monroe did in ''Some Like It Hot'', and I didn't want her to stop.
** [http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19891013/REVIEWS/910130303/1023 Roger Ebert on ''The Fabulous Baker Boys'' (1989)]

* Pfeiffer gives us the whole woman. Her triumph goes beyond her facility with the Russian accent; other actresses could have done that. She's great at playing contradictions, at being tough yet yielding, cloaked yet open, direct yet oblique. What's she's playing, we suspect, is the great Russian game of hide-and-seek. But Pfeiffer gives it a personal dimension. Katya holds herself in check, but her wariness, one senses, is as much personal as it is cultural -- the result, perhaps, of her own secret wounds. It's one of the year's most full-blooded performances.
** [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/therussiahouserhinson_a0a9c2.htm ''Washington Post'' on ''The Russia House'' (1990)]

* Pfeiffer's characterization of Lurene is a marvel, but by now that is only to be expected. Watching her discover new facets of her talent is one of the real pleasures of going to the movies these days... Pfeiffer has become one of those transparent actors, a performer who allows us direct access to her character's thoughts and feelings. This character is simply another in her wide-ranging gallery of vivid, complex women. She's fully alive up there on the screen: a grounded angel, tarnished, funny and exquisitely soulful, even when the movie is dead.
** [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/lovefieldpg13hinson_a0a7e8.htm Hal Hinson on ''Love Field'' (1992)]

* Pfeiffer gives the performance of a lifetime as the outcast countess. With her hair in tight curls that accentuate her pale beauty, she seems lit from within.
** [http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/5947143/review/5947144/the_age_of_innocence ''Rolling Stone'' on ''The Age of Innocence'' (1993)]

* For any actress to make the transition from Catwoman to Ellen Olenska would be impressive, and that Pfeiffer succeeds here as she did in her last film is the most conclusive proof yet of her widening talents.
** [http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117901187.html?categoryid=31&amp;cs=1 ''Variety'' on ''The Age of Innocence'' (1993)]

== External links ==
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[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:1958 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
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      <text bytes="22687" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Michelle Pfeiffer 2007.jpg|thumb|right|I act for free, but I demand a huge salary as compensation for all the annoyance of being a public personality.]]
'''[[w:Michelle Pfeiffer|Michelle Marie Pfeiffer]]''' (born [[April 29]], [[1958]]) is an American actress and singer.  

== Quotes ==
[[File:Michelle Pfeiffer 01.jpg|thumb|right|I was very strong-willed, very stubborn, and fairly dramatic, I guess.]]
[[File:Michelle Pfeiffer 1990.jpg|thumb|right|You know, I look like a duck. I just do. And I'm not the only person who thinks that.]]
[[File:Michelle Pfeiffer 1994.jpg|thumb|right|I wasn't inclined at all to actually become an actress. I mean, that wasn't something that was... in the stars for me, no pun intended.]]

* '''Even from the beginning, when I was doing junk television, I still had this focus. I knew I wasn't going to be doing that forever, that I wasn't going to be like that...'''
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1989-02_Vanity.htm ''Vanity Fair'' (1989)]

* '''I act for free, but I demand a huge salary as compensation for all the annoyance of being a public personality.''' In that sense, I earn every dime I make.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mich_Quo1.htm ''Esquire'' (1990)]

* '''You know, I look like a duck. I just do. And I'm not the only person who thinks that.''' It's the way my mouth sort of curls up or my nose tilts up. I should have played [[w:Howard the Duck|Howard the Duck]].
** [http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20128142,00.html ''People'' magazine (1990)]

* '''I don't like talking about the characters I do in film, ever.''' There's no deep, dark meaning. It's just an idea. It's just an idea.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1991-10_Vogue.htm ''Vogue'' (1991)]

* I had a big mouth, and I used to mouth off to my mother all the time. But I'd make sure my father wasn't in earshot, because he'd let me have it. '''I was very strong-willed, very stubborn, and fairly dramatic, I guess.''' I remember my mother calling me a drama queen when I would be carrying on: 'Here's my little actress.' And I was a real tomboy. I wasn't a terribly feminine little girl. I never thought I was attractive to boys; I remember when the first boy liked me, I couldn't believe it. All the little girls with ringlets and crinoline dresses were the ones the boys liked. I was always beating them up — why should they like me? I was always the biggest girl in the class, and if somebody wanted someone beaten up, they'd come and get me. I was the school bully. No wonder I played Catwoman. It all comes full circle.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1993-09_VanityFair.htm ''Vanity Fair'' (1993)]

* The description of the character is that Frankie is an attractive woman if she'd just put a little effort into how she looks. So that's basically the way I played her. '''I consider myself an attractive woman, and I can be not-so-great-looking if I don't put effort into how I look.''' But more importantly, the core of the character was someone who had given up on love, and that could be any age, any size, any form of beauty. '''That could be anybody.'''
** In response to criticism that she was too beautiful to play a lonely waitress in ''Frankie and Johnny'', quoted in ''Pfeiffer: Beyond the Age of Innocence'' by Thompson, p. 223

* '''I used to stay up very late at night, much later than I probably should have for such a youngster, and I used to watch very old black-and-white movies with, you know, [[Bette Davis]] and [[w:Joan Crawford|Joan Crawford]], but I remember watching them thinking 'I could do that'... Even though I wasn't inclined at all to actually become an actress.''' I mean, that wasn't something that was... in the stars for me, no pun intended.
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 Interview on ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* So I do the test, and we do this scene, and it's the scene at the end where I throw dishes, and so I threw some dishes... and 'Cut!'... And I look around, and there's blood everywhere, because I broke a plate or something, and they're all checking me — 'Oh my God, she cut herself' — and couldn't find any cut, and then I look, and I realise. I see Al's hand is bleeding. And I cut [[Al Pacino]], in my screen test. I think then he liked me. I think that was actually the turning point.
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 On auditioning for ''Scarface'', from ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* '''I don't like improvisation. I really don't.''' I'm the only one that will admit it. Because I think people think you're not a real actor if you don't like to improv. I don't like it.
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* '''It's usually just awkward. It's not terribly romantic or steamy.''' Sometimes people's wives show up — &quot;Hey, how you doing?&quot;… I had a wedding scene with someone once, and the girlfriend showed up in a white dress...
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 On love scenes with male co-stars, from ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* '''That would have to be the F-word.''' Do you want me to say it? '''It's so descriptive, it can be used in so many ways — it can be used lovingly, it can be used in the most hateful — it's just very versatile... and you know, it's just, sometimes no other word will do.'''
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 In response to the question, &quot;What is your favourite curse word?&quot; from ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* '''I always look at it as — it's like a treasure map, and each little detail in it, you sort of look at it for information and it points you in the right direction, to tell you where you need to go.''' You start out with a few choices, obviously — I need to learn the clarinet or I need to learn the cello, or I need to learn how to stay underwater without panicking — but it is like painting in a way, that at a certain point, the painting begins to tell you what to do. And with acting, it's the same — with acting in film, anyway — at a certain point then, what you've already put on screen begins to dictate to you where you need to go, and then it just starts to create itself in a way. And what I try to do is find a strand of myself, as different as I might feel the character is from me, and as removed as it is, I always try to find that one part of me. And then you kind of build on to that, because it's a way to keep you connected. And you never want to lose that connection. '''There's always some sort of parallel that's going on in my own life, and so you can use it to, you know, bring closure, perhaps, to certain things that you haven't. A healing, a reconnection. And I believe in that. I believe in that.'''
** [http://uk.youtube.com/user/pfeifferpfan2 In response to the question, &quot;How do you approach your roles?&quot; from ''Inside the Actors Studio'' (2007)]

* Eating a [[Veganism|vegan]] diet — it’s just so much healthier — and you avoid a lot of toxins that could age your skin and your body. I really noticed a difference in my skin not too long after switching to fully vegan. … The older I’ve gotten, the more it’s occurred to me that I’m doing it in order to live longer, though the vanity component will always be there. … I just told myself one day that I’m going to do it and I’m going to give myself eight weeks. And that I’m not going to commit on this for a lifetime because it’s psychologically huge for people to wrap their minds around it. And I’m just going to see how I feel, I’m going to test my blood again and see if there’s anything. Giving it that long you sort of get over the fact of feeling how big and difficult it is at the beginning. And if you really give yourself long enough to start feeling differently and sort of see the benefits then it will be great.
** [http://urbanette.com/michelle-pfeiffer-interview/ &quot;Michelle Pfeiffer’s Big Secret&quot;, interview with ''Urbanette'' (February 2016)]

== Quotes about Pfeiffer ==
* 'She's the blonde in ''Scarface'',' they say to me about Michelle Pfeiffer. Now her I know. She made this year's great movie entrance, descending, back to camera, in the glass elevator of a drug czar's Florida mansion, wearing a green satin evening dress that seemed about to fall off her. Rarely in a movie have I seen an actress so perfectly groomed, so coolly elegant. There hasn't been a platinum-blonde star for a long time, and I waited, fascinated, to meet her. She is on the verge of stardom. In the parlance of the industry, she is hot. She is appearing in one hot movie, has another coming out, and others await only her availability to begin shooting. 'Hello,' she said, when she arrived. 'Hello,' I replied, trying to zero in on the unfamiliar face... and then it registered: Michelle Pfeiffer is, alas, no longer blonde. She became blonde for the role. Nor is she a fashion plate. In fact, she has absolutely no interest in fashion or chic. Like Garbo, who cared nothing for such trappings either, she took on the accoutrements that went along with the part, so convincingly that I had assumed the end product was the starting point — the reason she had been cast in the first place.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1984-04_Vanity.htm Dominick Dunne for ''Vanity Fair'']

* Michelle represents the best of both worlds. She's very feminine, understated and sophisticated, yet also mysterious, confident and provocative.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mich_Quo2.htm Giorgio Armani, fashion designer]

* I think that, more than any other &quot;beautiful actress,&quot; Michelle has been handicapped by her appearance. She has such an overwhelming face that people have tended to cast her because of the way she looks... I have a feeling she's been in touch with her gift all along, and that she's exhibited enormous patience with those of us who tend to focus first on how gorgeous she is.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1988-09_Premiere.htm Jonathan Demme, director of ''Married to the Mob'']

* Basically, she's a character actress... I think that's a strength. She's someone who will endure because she'll find characters to play. And she happens also to be a leading-lady type, which is, I guess, glamorous. She has both... I mean, is someone doing what they should be doing? That's the question.
** [http://velvet_peach.tripod.com/fpacscarface.html Al Pacino, co-star in ''Scarface'' and ''Frankie and Johnny'']

* I didn't recognize her from one film to the next. I wasn't really looking at Michelle Pfeiffer; I was looking at the character in the movie. The thing that really clinched it was ''Married to the Mob''. She had a kind of honesty in the character, and she had just the right amount of humor. She wasn't putting down the character; she wasn't making a value judgment on the character. She really was like the people I grew up with. The characters were Italians from Long Island, and here was an actress of a different type, different background, coming in and making me believe totally. That really made me sit up and take note. And then, when ''Dangerous Liaisons'' came out, I thought, 'She's the best we have.'
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mich_Quo2.htm Martin Scorsese, director of ''The Age of Innocence'']

* The only friend I trust not to distort or misuse what I say is Michelle Pfeiffer.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Bio_022.htm Cher, co-star in ''The Witches of Eastwick'']

* She was kind of shy, and halfway through the year, in fact, it was the end of the second semester where the other kids had been doing the debating and making the fiery speeches and stuff, Michelle hadn't volunteered very much. But then we did the Harry Truman trial, where they bring in witnesses. The players had to get some other kids to participate, so a little peer pressure. Michelle ended up being one of the victims of the bomb. She gets on the stand, and she had dressed herself up as a victim and had gauze and everything. She starts to talk, and she starts crying. You ever been in a play or something where you feel kind of uncomfortable that all of a sudden someone's doing something so emotional you don't know what to do? She does that to the class. And they're looking, and they can't figure out. What the hell is she doing? She hasn't been like this all year. It was just a stunning performance. And we thought, God, she really is a victim of the bomb. To the end of the year, we had her take on some more responsibility. But that was the first little bit of acting.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Bio_007.htm John Bovberg, Pfeiffer's school teacher]

* She had to have been a couple of years out of high school when I met her in Vons (it's a clothing store now) and I was only in El Toro by chance. When I saw her at the supermarket, there was a difference. Something had happened in there. I don't know if it's because she tried some other things. She had this steely look of determination. She looked at me, and she says, 'I'm gonna be an actress.' And I remember telling her, 'Now, Michelle, a lot of people have agents and wanna be an actress and...' And, 'No, no.' She told me there was this movie with Tony Danza, ''The Hollywood Knights''. She was just trying out for it, and she thought she might have a chance for it. I give her that look, 'Now, Michelle.' I don't know. You'll see a kid coming through that'll tell you, 'I'm going to be a doctor.' They're just hell bent, they're sure that's what they're going to do. Nothing stops them from doing it. And some kids do that. And then I get a call, 'Hey, you gonna be in your room today?' And they come back, and they've just gotten their law degree from Harvard or something. And it's usually one of those kids who has that look. And she had that look... I was a single parent, and I was ironing at two o'clock in the morning. That's when I do my ironing and catch my breath. This movie comes on, ''The Hollywood Knights'', and I'm thinking, trying to figure out where I heard that name. And I'm watching, and then Tony Danza and his girlfriend come by. And you do a double take. I go, 'Michelle?' Well, she got the part. I couldn't believe it. I'm thinking I got a student who got a role in a movie. Good for you. I'm watching it. You know, you're kind of proud of her. And there she is. It was a little role but she was good in it.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Bio_007.htm John Bovberg, Pfeiffer's school teacher]

* I showed Stephen [Frears] a couple of reels of ''Married'' when he was considering Michelle for ''Liaisons''. And he was clearly under her spell. But maybe he hesitated for an instant. He said, 'You know, she's going to be out there with John Malkovich and Glenn Close.' And I thought but didn't say, 'They'd better watch out then.'
** [http://www.salon.com/people/bc/1999/05/25/pfeiffer/ Jonathan Demme, director of ''Married to the Mob'']

* She was very, very particular about the visual aspects of what we were doing. After seeing the first rushes of film, she requested that her costumes be made less splendid. In fact, we reduced things. But it also had to do with the fact that it's Michelle Pfeiffer's face. She was so beautiful that they had to tone down the glories of the gowns to make her less stunning.
** [http://www.pfeiffertheface.com/Mag_1989-02_Vanity.htm James Acheson, costume designer on ''Dangerous Liaisons'']

* There was a pronunciation and approach that seemed Dylan-influenced. Vowels were swallowed, word endings were given short or no shrift. When we worked, it almost became a joke with us that I was constantly reminding her to say the consonants as well as the vowels... And Michelle, must you continue to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day?... I can swear that every single note in that movie was hers. Seeing Michelle up there was like watching myself or my daughter. I was so nervous. I wanted her to be so good. I didn't want to feel as if I'd let her down.
** [http://web.archive.org/20020221182002/fabulousbakers.tripod.com/ab/bakerboys/interview18.html Sally Stevens, vocal coach on ''The Fabulous Baker Boys'']

* She became a singer, and it was an extraordinary kind of example — graphic example — of what a good actor can really do, you know. She spent a lot of research time, she went around and heard singers and studied what they did. Everything from, of course, all the body language and all of that stuff — but vocally, we went in the studio and she sang a version of ''My Funny Valentine'' that, I mean... it killed me.
** [http://web.archive.org/20060514051718/fabulousbakers.tripod.com/ab/bakerboys/interview11.html Dave Grusin, composer on ''The Fabulous Baker Boys'']

* A lot of times I looked into the camera and said, 'Too pretty.' We changed the lighting and hair. You know, she was hired originally in the town as a beautiful girl, but she's learned how to act. She's an actress of unlimited range. She works incredibly hard — the body language, the hair, the voice. She's not bothered by movie star stuff — whether she has a rug in her trailer or not. She doesn't care.
** [http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0CE2D8133BF935A35753C1A967958260 Garry Marshall, director of ''Frankie and Johnny'']

* Pfeiffer in particular takes the sort of glamorous yet preposterous part that generally defeats even the best actress and somehow contrives to make it credible every inch of the way.
** [http://www.timeout.com/film/reviews/76132/into-the-night.html ''Time Out'' on ''Into the Night'' (1985)]

* Alda's best-written character in the movie probably is Faith Healy, the sexy actress played by Pfeiffer. Her performance uses some wonderfully subtle touches, as she moves back and forth between her historical character and her distinctly more cynical modern one.
** [http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19860516/REVIEWS/605160301/1023 ''Chicago Sun-Times'' on ''Sweet Liberty'' (1986)]

* Michelle Pfeiffer has the pivotal role of the movie and perhaps of her career as Angela de Marco, the unhappy missus of Frankie (The Cucumber). Shedding her WASP identity completely, Pfeiffer becomes the Italian princess, right down to the Long Island accent. Angela is an updated suburban moll, a gum-popper with press-on nails and lots of sweaters applique'd with feathers. She looks like a caricature, but there's anguish under all that mascara... This is her second movie marriage to the mob. As the wife in ''Scarface'', she was the Latino mobster's WASP ornament, cold, trapped and tragic. As the Cucumber's widow, she's a deft comedian instead. It's her movie, and she graces it.
** [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/marriedtothemobrkempley_a0c9f5.htm ''Washington Post'' on ''Married To The Mob'' (1988)]

*  For Pfeiffer, in a year that has seen her in varied assignments such as ''Married to the Mob'' and ''Tequila Sunrise'', the movie is more evidence of her versatility. She is good when she is innocent and superb when she is guilty.
** [http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19890113/REVIEWS/901130302/1023 ''Chicago Sun-Times'' on ''Dangerous Liaisons'' (1988)]

* This is one of the movies they will use as a document, years from now, when they begin to trace the steps by which Pfeiffer became a great star. I cannot claim that I spotted her unique screen presence in her first movie, which, I think, was ''Grease 2'', but certainly by the time she made ''Ladyhawke'' and ''Tequila Sunrise'' and ''Dangerous Liaisons'' and ''Married to the Mob'', something was going on. This is the movie of her flowering — not just as a beautiful woman, but as an actress with the ability to make you care about her, to make you feel what she feels. All of those qualities are here in this movie, and so is the &quot;Makin' Whoopee&quot; number, which I can only praise by adding it to a short list: whatever she's doing while she performs that song isn't merely singing; it's whatever Rita Hayworth did in ''Gilda'' and Marilyn Monroe did in ''Some Like It Hot'', and I didn't want her to stop.
** [http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19891013/REVIEWS/910130303/1023 Roger Ebert on ''The Fabulous Baker Boys'' (1989)]

* Pfeiffer gives us the whole woman. Her triumph goes beyond her facility with the Russian accent; other actresses could have done that. She's great at playing contradictions, at being tough yet yielding, cloaked yet open, direct yet oblique. What's she's playing, we suspect, is the great Russian game of hide-and-seek. But Pfeiffer gives it a personal dimension. Katya holds herself in check, but her wariness, one senses, is as much personal as it is cultural -- the result, perhaps, of her own secret wounds. It's one of the year's most full-blooded performances.
** [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/therussiahouserhinson_a0a9c2.htm ''Washington Post'' on ''The Russia House'' (1990)]

* Pfeiffer's characterization of Lurene is a marvel, but by now that is only to be expected. Watching her discover new facets of her talent is one of the real pleasures of going to the movies these days... Pfeiffer has become one of those transparent actors, a performer who allows us direct access to her character's thoughts and feelings. This character is simply another in her wide-ranging gallery of vivid, complex women. She's fully alive up there on the screen: a grounded angel, tarnished, funny and exquisitely soulful, even when the movie is dead.
** [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/lovefieldpg13hinson_a0a7e8.htm Hal Hinson on ''Love Field'' (1992)]

* Pfeiffer gives the performance of a lifetime as the outcast countess. With her hair in tight curls that accentuate her pale beauty, she seems lit from within.
** [http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/5947143/review/5947144/the_age_of_innocence ''Rolling Stone'' on ''The Age of Innocence'' (1993)]

* For any actress to make the transition from Catwoman to Ellen Olenska would be impressive, and that Pfeiffer succeeds here as she did in her last film is the most conclusive proof yet of her widening talents.
** [http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117901187.html?categoryid=31&amp;cs=1 ''Variety'' on ''The Age of Innocence'' (1993)]

== External links ==
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    <title>Blackie Lawless</title>
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      <text bytes="2383" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Wasp, Norwich. img 0319 (315209095).jpg|thumb|Blackie Lawless in 2006]]

'''[[w:Blackie Lawless|Blackie Lawless]]''' (born 4 September 1956), American singer and guitarist of W.A.S.P.

==Quotes==
* F*ck political correctness, that went down with the World Trade Center.
**In the liner notes of the album &quot;Dying for the World&quot;

* If you’re gonna take the audience on a life long ride, you’ve got to allow them to become intimate with you. If they’re not intimate, they’re never gonna know you.
**KNAC Interview in 2002

* One of the reasons why Chris [Holmes] and I hooked up is that we were such extreme personalities. We had the ability to be the nicest people you'd ever want to meet, but cross us and we could turn into the devil himself. There was just a wide range of emotions going on there, but probably artists in general are like that. They just have a wide emotional swing.
**KNAC Interview in 2002

* I can not draw or paint worth a damn, because I can't see it in my head before I do it. I can sculpt and I do crafts but I can not draw. When it comes to music I can hear it before it happens, which most people can't do.
**Music America Interview

* I have people constantly come up to me telling me that I have written their life. When I wrote the story I thought it was a pretty good story but I had no idea that many people felt like that.
**Music America Interview

* I care dearly for this country [USA]. I do love this country. I spend enough time overseas to realize that as bad as it is it's still probably about the best thing going. What kills me though is when I know it can be better.
**Music America Interview

* I was raised very religious. I always went to church. I am Jewish bloodline but I am Christian faith. I was brought up christian faith rather. I still have very deep beliefs in God and things like that but I don't subscribe to the organized religion that I grew up with.
**Music America Interview

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.waspnation.com Official W.A.S.P. Website]
* [http://www.restlessgypsy.org Restless Gypsy Fan Site]
* [http://www.arenaofpleasure.com W.A.S.P. Arena Of Pleasure Fan Site]

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    <title>Emma Roberts</title>
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      <text bytes="1818" xml:space="preserve">[[file:Emma Roberts by Gage Skidmore - 2015 San Diego Comic-Con International (1).jpg|thumb|Emma Roberts at the 2015 San Diego Comic-Con International]]

'''[[w:Emma Roberts|Emma Rose Roberts]]''' (born [[February 10]], [[1991]]) is an American actress, model and pop singer. She is the niece of actress [[w:Julia Roberts|Julia Roberts]] and best known for her role as Addie Singer on the Nickelodeon show ''[[w:Unfabulous|Unfabulous]]''.

== Quotes ==
* No, I don't have a boyfriend, [...] I don't want one.
** Lipworth, Elaine (2005), &quot;Recognise That Smile?&quot;, ''YOU Magazine'', July 24, 2005, p. 30.

* I'll be ready for my first kiss! When it happens, it'll happen, but I don't know. It doesn't look like that will be anytime soon.
** Bryson, Jody (2005), &quot;Emma Roberts Is Fabulous!&quot;, ''Girl's Life Magazine'', vol. 12, no. 2, pp. 45-46.

* I don't really have time [to babysit my twin cousins]. And, well, I actually have my ''own'' babysitter sometimes.
** Bardin, Brantley (2005), ''Life'', October 21, 2005, p. 3.

* I'm not in the gossips that much, but something I read recently was that me and [[w:Emma Watson|Emma Watson]] are having a feud. And I've never even met her.
** {{cite web
| url = http://www.eonline.com/Gossip/Awful/Daily2005/051212b.html
| title = The Family Moan
| accessmonthday = February 26
| accessyear = 2007
| work = E!
| archiveurl = http://web.archive.org/web/20060112220656/http://www.eonline.com/Gossip/Awful/Daily2005/051212b.html
| archivedate = 2006-01-12
}}

==External links==
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  <page>
    <title>Milan Kundera</title>
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      <text bytes="21671" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Milan Kundera redux.jpg|thumb|Milan Kundera (1980)]]
[[File:Glory 2004.04.650.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chance]] and chance alone has a message for us... Only chance can speak to us.]]

'''[[w:Milan Kundera|Milan Kundera]]''' (born [[1 April]] [[1929]]) is a Franco-Czech novelist born in Brno, Czechoslovakia (now the Czech Republic). 

== Quotes == 
[[File:Praha, pomník Franze Kafky.jpg|thumb|right|You can understand [[nothing]] about [[art]], particularly modern art, if you do not understand that [[imagination]] is a [[value]] in itself.]]

* '''Do you realize that people don't know how to read [[Franz Kafka|Kafka]] simply because they want to decipher him?''' Instead of letting themselves be carried away by his unequaled [[imagination]], they look for allegories — and come up with nothing but clichés: [[life]] is [[absurd]] (or it is not absurd), [[God]] is beyond reach (or within reach), etc. '''You can understand nothing about [[art]], particularly [[modern art]], if you do not understand that imagination is a value in itself.'''
** Interview with Christian Salmon (Fall 1983), ''Writers at Work: The Paris Review Interviews, Series Seven'' [Viking, 1988, {{ISBN|0-14-008500-9}}], pp. 217-218

* A novel that does not uncover a hitherto unknown segment of existence is immoral. [[Knowledge]] is the novel's only morality.
** ''New York Review of Books'' (19 July 1984)

* '''The [[light]] that radiates from the great novels [[time]] can never dim, for human existence is perpetually being forgotten by man and thus the novelists' discoveries, however old they may be, will never cease to astonish.'''
** As quoted in ''The Guardian'' (3 June 1988)

* [[Dogs]] are our link to [[paradise]]. They don't know [[evil]] or [[jealousy]] or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not [[Boredom|boring]] — it was [[peace]].
** As quoted in ''The Canine Hiker's Bible'' (2000) by Doug Gelbert, p. 8

* '''Suspending moral [[judgment]] is not the immorality of the novel; it is its [[morality]].''' The morality that stands against the ineradicable [[human]] [[habit]] of judging instantly, ceaselessly, and everyone; of judging before, and in the absence of, understanding. From the view­point of the novel’s [[wisdom]], that '''fervid readiness to judge is the most detestable [[stupidity]], the most pernicious [[evil]].'''
** ''Testaments Betrayed'' (1995), p. 7

* True human [[goodness]], in all its purity and freedom, can come to the fore only when its recipient has no power. Mankind's true [[moral]] test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view), consists of its attitude toward those who are at its mercy: [[animals]]. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it.
** ''The Unbearable Lightness of Being'' (1984), as quoted in ''Milan Kundera'' (2003) by [[Harold Bloom]], [//books.google.it/books?id=SXDojRJFMPIC&amp;pg=PA91 p. 91]

=== ''The Joke'' (1967) ===&lt;!--http://amper.ped.muni.cz/~jonas/Jaroska/4A2012/matura/%E8e%9Atina/Knihy/46.%20Milan%20Kundera%20-%20%8Eert%20%28210%29.pdf--&gt;

* [[Optimism]] is the opium of the [[people]].

* '''Nothing is more repugnant to me than brotherly feelings grounded in the common baseness people see in one another.'''

* ''Žádné pocínání není samo o sobe dohré ani zlé. Teprve jeho místo v rádu ciní je dobrým ci zlým.''
** '''No [[Action|act]] is of itself either [[good]] or [[Evil|bad]]. Only its place in the order of things makes it good or bad.'''

* No [[Greatness|great]] movement designed&lt;!-- π --&gt; to [[change]] the [[world]] can bear to be [[Laughter|laughed]] at or belittled. Mockery is a rust that corrodes all it touches.

=== ''The Book of Laughter and Forgetting'' (1979)===
:&lt;small&gt;Viking, {{ISBN|0-14-009693-0}}, trans. Michael Henry Heim&lt;/small&gt;

* The [[w:1971 Bangladesh atrocities|bloody massacre in Bangladesh]] quickly covered over the memory of the [[w:Czechoslovakia:_1948_-_1968#Warsaw_Pact_Intervention_and_the_end_of_Prague_Spring|Russian invasion of Czechoslovakia]], the [[w:Death of Salvador Allende|assassination of Allende]] drowned out the groans of Bangladesh, the [[w:Yom Kippur War|war in the Sinai Desert]] made people forget Allende, the [[w:Cambodia under Pol Pot (1975-1979)|Cambodian massacre]] made people forget Sinai, and so on and so forth until ultimately everyone lets everything be forgotten. &lt;br&gt; In times when [[history]] still moved slowly, events were few and far between and easily committed to [[memory]]. They formed a commonly accepted ''backdrop'' for thrilling scenes of [[adventure]] in private life. Nowadays, history moves at a brisk clip. A historical event, though soon forgotten, sparkles the morning after with the dew of novelty. No longer a backdrop, it is now the ''adventure'' itself, an adventure enacted before the backdrop of the commonly accepted banality of private life. 
** Part I: Lost Letters (p. 7)

* '''People are always shouting they want to create a better [[future]]. It's not [[Truth|true]].''' The future is an apathetic void of no interest to anyone. The past is full of life, eager to irritate us, provoke and insult us, tempt us to destroy or repaint it. The only reason people want to be masters of the future is to change the past. '''They are fighting for access to the laboratories where photographs are retouched and biographies and histories rewritten.'''
** Part I: Lost Letters (p. 22)

* The proliferation of mass [[wikt:graphomania|graphomania]] among [[politicians]], cab drivers, women on the delivery table, mistresses, murderers, criminals, prostitutes, police chiefs, doctors, and patients proves to me that every individual without exception bears a potential writer within himself and that [[all]] [[mankind]] has every right to rush out into the streets with a cry of &quot;We are all writers!&quot; &lt;br&gt; The reason is that everyone has trouble accepting the fact that he will disappear unheard of and unnoticed in an indifferent [[universe]], and everyone wants to make himself into a universe of words before it's too late. &lt;br&gt; Once the writer in every individual comes to life (and that time is not far off), we are in for an age of universal deafness and lack of understanding.
** Part Four: Lost Letters (p. 106)

=== ''The Unbearable Lightness of Being'' (1984)===
:&lt;small&gt;As translated by Michael Henry Heim&lt;/small&gt;

====Part One: Lightness and Weight====
*&quot;...[O]f a world that rests essentially on the nonexistence of return, [...] everything is pardoned in advance and therefore everything cynically permitted.&quot;

* '''In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia.'''&lt;!-- (pg 4) --&gt; 

* In the [[love]] [[poetry]] of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man's body.&lt;!-- (pg 5) --&gt; 

* And what can [[life]] be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself?&lt;!-- (pg 8) --&gt; 

* [[Metaphors]] are not to be trifled with. A single metaphor can give birth to love.&lt;!-- (pg 10) --&gt;

* To love someone out of [[compassion]] means not really to love.&lt;!-- (pg 20) --&gt; 

* A person who longs to leave the place where he lives is an unhappy person.&lt;!-- (pg 27) --&gt;

* He had spent seven years of his life with Tereza, and now he realised that those years were more attractive in retrospect than they were when he was living them.&lt;!-- (pg 28) --&gt; 

* '''For there is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the [[pain]] one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the [[imagination]] and prolonged by a hundred echoes.''' &lt;!-- p. 30 --&gt;

* [[Necessity]], weight, and value are three concepts inextricably bound: only necessity is heavy, and only what is heavy has value.&lt;!-- (pg 33) --&gt;

====Part Two: Soul and Body====

* '''When we ignore the body, we are more easily victimized by it.'''&lt;!-- (pg 37) --&gt;

* But is not an event in fact more significant and noteworthy the greater the number of fortuities necessary to bring it about?&lt;!-- (pg 46) --&gt;

* '''[[Chance]] and chance alone has a message for us... Only chance can speak to us.'''&lt;!-- (pg 48) --&gt;

* '''Without realizing it, the [[individualism|individual]] composes his [[life]] according to the [[laws]] of [[beauty]] even in times of great distress.'''&lt;!-- (pg 49) --&gt;

* If a love is to be unforgettable, fortuities must immediately start fluttering down to it like birds to [[Francis of Assisi]]'s shoulders.&lt;!-- (pg 49) --&gt;

* It was the call of all those fortuities... which gave her the [[courage]] to leave [[home]] and change her [[fate]].&lt;!-- (pg 51) --&gt;

* '''It is right to chide man for being blind to such coincidences in his daily life. For he thereby deprives his life of a dimension of beauty.'''&lt;!-- (pg 50) --&gt;

* For the first few seconds, she was afraid he would throw her out because of the crude noises she was making, but then he put his arms around her. She was grateful to him for ignoring her rumbles, and she kissed him passionately, her eyes misting.&lt;!-- (pg 50) --&gt;

* Early in the novel [''Anna Karenina''], Anna meets Vronsky in curious circumstances: they are at the railway station when someone is run over by a train. At the end of the novel, Anna throws herself under a train. This symmetrical composition — the same motif appears at the beginning and the end — may seem quite “novelistic” to you, and I am willing to agree, but only on condition that you refrain from reading such notions as “fictive,” “fabricated,” and “untrue to life” into the word “novelistic.” Because '''human lives are composed in precisely such a fashion. They are composed like [[music]].''' Guided by his sense of beauty, an individual transforms a fortuitous occurrence (Beethoven’s music, death under a train) into a motif, which then assumes a permanent place in the composition of the individual’s life. Anna could have chosen another way to take her life. But the motif of [[death]] and the railway station, unforgettably bound to the [[birth]] of love, enticed her in her hour of despair with its dark beauty. '''Without realizing it, the individual composes his life according to the laws of beauty even in times of greatest distress.''' It is wrong, then, to chide the novel for being fascinated by mysterious coincidences. … '''But it is right to chide man for being blind to such coincidences in his daily life. For he thereby deprives his life of a dimension of beauty.''' &lt;!-- p. 52 --&gt;

* Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect some day to suffer vertigo.&lt;!-- (pg 56) --&gt; 

* '''No, vertigo is something other than the fear of falling. It is the voice of emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the [[desire]] to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.'''&lt;!-- (pg 56) --&gt; 

* '''[[Dreams|Dreaming]] is not merely an act of [[communication]]; it is also an aesthetic activity, a [[game]] of the [[imagination]], a game that is a [[value]] in itself.'''&lt;!-- (pg 59) --&gt; 

* But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.&lt;!-- (pg 71) --&gt;

====Part Three: Words Misunderstood====

* Physical love is unthinkable without violence.&lt;!-- (pg 111) --&gt;

* &quot;Why don't you ever use your [[strength]] on me?&quot; she said. &lt;br&gt; &quot;Because '''[[love]] means renouncing strength''',&quot; said Franz softly.&lt;!-- (pg 112) --&gt;

* &quot;Love is a battle,&quot; said Marie-Claude, still smiling. &quot;And I plan to go on fighting. To the end.&quot;

* '''The goals we pursue are always veiled. A girl who longs for marriage longs for something she knows nothing about. The boy who hankers after [[fame]] has no idea what fame is. The thing that gives our every move its meaning is always totally unknown to us.'''
** Ch. 10

====Part Four: Soul and Body====
* The moment love is born: the [[woman]] cannot resist the [[voice]] calling forth her terrified [[soul]]; the [[man]] cannot resist the woman whose soul thus responds to his voice.&lt;!-- (pg 160) --&gt;

====Part Five: Lightness and Weight====
* '''What is unique about the &quot;I&quot; hides itself exactly in what is unimaginable about a person.''' All we are able to imagine is what makes everyone like everyone else, what people have in common. The individual &quot;I&quot; is what differs from the common stock, that is, what cannot be guessed at or calculated, what must be unveiled, uncovered, conquered. &lt;!-- (pg 199) --&gt;

* The brain appears to possess a special area which we might call poetic memory and which records everything that charms or touches us, that makes our lives beautiful.&lt;!-- (pg 208) --&gt;

* Love begins at the point when a woman enters her first word into our poetic memory.&lt;!-- (pg 209) --&gt;

* Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost.&lt;!-- (pg 233) --&gt;

* Love is our [[freedom]].&lt;!-- (pg 236) --&gt;

* When the [[heart]] speaks, the [[mind]] finds it indecent to object. In the realm of kitsch, the dictatorship of the heart reigns supreme. &lt;!-- p. 250 --&gt;

* Kitsch causes two tears to flow in quick succession. The first tear says: How nice to see [[children]] running on the grass! The second tear says: How nice to be moved, together with all mankind, by children running on the grass! It is the second tear that makes kitsch kitsch. &lt;!-- p. 251 --&gt;

* Sabina’s initial inner revolt against [[Communism]] was aesthetic rather than ethical in character. What repelled her was not nearly so much the ugliness of the Communist world (ruined castles transformed into cow sheds) as the mask of beauty it tried to wear — in other words, Communist kitsch. 

* '''Whenever a single political movement corners [[power]], we find ourselves in the realm of [[totalitarian]] kitsch.''' When I say “totalitarian,” what I mean is that everything that infringes on kitsch must be banished for life: every display of [[individualism]] (because a deviation from the collective is a spit in the eye of the smiling brotherhood); every [[doubt]] (because anyone who starts doubting details will end by doubting life itself); all [[irony]] (because in the realm of kitsch everything must be taken quite seriously); and the mother who abandons her family or the man who prefers men to women, thereby calling into question the holy decree “Be fruitful and multiply.”

* We can regard the gulag as a septic tank used by totalitarian kitsch to dispose of its refuse.

* '''In the realm of totalitarian kitsch, all answers are given in advance and preclude any questions.''' It follows, then, that the true opponent of totalitarian kitsch is the person who asks questions. A question is like a knife that slices through the stage backdrop and gives us a look at what lies hidden behind it.

* What makes a leftist a leftist is not this or that theory but his ability to integrate any theory into the kitsch called the Grand March. &lt;!-- p. 257 --&gt;

====Part Six: The Grand March====

* Kitsch is the stopover between being and oblivion. &lt;!-- ch. 29 --&gt;

* '''The fact that until recently the word “shit” appeared in print as s— has nothing to do with moral considerations. You can’t claim that shit is immoral, after all!''' The objection to shit is a metaphysical one. The daily defecation session is daily proof of the unacceptability of Creation. … The aesthetic ideal of the categorical agreement with being is a world in which shit is denied and everyone acts as though it did not exist. This aesthetic ideal is called kitsch. … '''Kitsch is the absolute denial of shit, in both the literal and the figurative senses of the word; kitsch excludes everything from its purview which is essentially unacceptable in human existence.''' 

=== ''Slowness'' (1995)===
:&lt;small&gt;As translated by Linda Asher&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Any new possibility that existence acquires, even the least likely, transforms everything about existence.'''

=== ''Identity'' (1998)===
[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|right|The [[eye]]... the point where a person's [[identity]] is concentrated.]]

* I can't shake off the [[idea]] that after [[death]] you keep being alive. That to be dead is to live an endless nightmare.&lt;!-- (pg 8) --&gt;

* This is the real and the only reason for [[friendship]]: to provide a mirror so the other person can contemplate his image from the past, which, without the eternal blah-blah of memories between pals, would long ago have disappeared.&lt;!-- (pg 10) --&gt;

* It is always that way: between the moment he meets her again and the moment he recognizes her for the woman he loves, he has some distance to go.&lt;!-- (pg 36) --&gt;

* How could she feel nostalgia when he was right in front of her? How can you suffer from the absence of a person who is present?&lt;!-- (pg 40) --&gt;

* '''You can suffer nostalgia in the presence of the beloved if you glimpse a future where the beloved is no more.'''&lt;!-- (pg 40) --&gt;

* '''The [[eye]]... the point where a person's [[identity]] is concentrated.'''&lt;!-- (pg 63) --&gt;

* '''You can't measure the mutual affection of two human beings by the number of words they exchange.'''&lt;!-- (pg 78) --&gt;

* Today we're all alike, all of us bound together by our shared [[apathy]] toward [[work]]. That very apathy has become a [[passion]]. The one great collective passion of our time.&lt;!-- (pg 82) --&gt;

* Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that's very beautiful. But what would they nourish their intimate talk with? However contemptible the world may be, they still need it to be able to talk together.&lt;!-- (pg 82) --&gt;

* '''No love can survive muteness.'''&lt;!-- (pg 82) --&gt;

* [[Pain]] doesn't listen to reason, it has its own reason, which is not reasonable.&lt;!-- (pg 129) --&gt;

* He felt as if she no longer existed for him, had gone off somewhere, into some other life where, if he should meet her, he would no longer recognize her.&lt;!-- (pg 137) --&gt;

* '''As you live out your desolation, you can be either unhappy or happy. Having that [[choice]] is what constitutes your [[freedom]].'''&lt;!-- (pg 146) --&gt;

* Since the insignificance of all things is our lot, we should not bear it as an affliction but learn to enjoy it.&lt;!-- (pg 146) --&gt;

* She said: &quot;I get scared when my eye blinks. Scared that during that second when my gaze is switched off, a snake or a rat or another man could slip into your place.&quot;&lt;!-- (pg 168) --&gt;

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}} 
{{Commonscat|Milan Kundera}}
* {{imdb name|0475081}}
* [http://www.prague-life.com/prague/milan-kundera Milan Kundera and the Czech Republic]
* [http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/k/milan_kundera/index.html?scp=10&amp;sq=book%20of%20laughter%20and%20forgetting%20politics%20of%20history&amp;st=cse &quot;Milan Kundera&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (9 November 2008)]
* [http://www.centerforbookculture.org/interviews/interview_kundera.html Online interview with Kundera]
* [http://www.kundera.de/english/ www.kundera.de] 
* [http://www.hackwriters.com/lightman.htm Comparison of Kundera with Alan Lightman]
* [http://www.milankundera.webpark.pl Polish Kundera page]
: '''Book reviews'''
* [http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D07E1DC1F39F931A35757C0A962948260&amp;scp=6&amp;sq=book%20of%20laughter%20and%20forgetting%20politics%20of%20history&amp;st=cse Review]. The ''[[w:Unbearable Lightness of Being|Unbearable Lightness of Being]]'' April 2, 1984 ''New York Times''. Retrieved 2010-09-25  
* [http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/04/books/review/Banks.t.html?scp=5&amp;sq=book%20of%20laughter%20and%20forgetting%20politics%20of%20history&amp;st=cse &quot;Reading with Kundera&quot; by Russell Banks in ''The New York Times'' (4 March 2007)]
* [http://www.ccsenet.org/journal/index.php/res/article/viewFile/4575/3909 Review] of ''[[w:Slowness (novel)|Slowness]]'' from the ''The Review of European Studies''. Retrieved 2010-09-25
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20010126095600/http://www.centerforbookculture.org/interviews/interview_kundera.html Interview with Kundera] ''The Review of Contemporary Fiction'', Summer 1989, 9.2. Retrieved 2010-09-25
* [http://www.oxonianreview.org/wp/of-dogs-and-death/ &quot;Of Dogs and death&quot;] A review of ''Une Recontre (An Encounter)'' 27 April, 2009 . ''The [[w:Oxonian Review|Oxonian Review]]''. Retrieved 2010-09-25
* [http://www.webster.edu/~corbetre/personal/reading/kundera-unbearable.html Review of ''The Unbearable Lightness Of Being'']
* [http://www.bookpage.com/9605bp/fiction/slowness.html Review of ''Slowness'']
* [https://archive.is/20130628111553/www.associatedcontent.com/article/5798804/milan_kundera_and_the_jokebody_and.html?cat=2 Review of ''The Joke'']
;Open letters
* [http://www.salon.eu.sk/article.php?article=732&amp;searchPhrase=havel  &quot;Two Messages&quot;]. Article by [[Václav Havel]] in ''Salon'' October 2008. Retrieved 2010-09-25
* [http://www.salon.eu.sk/article.php?article=779&amp;searchPhrase=t%C5%99e%C5%A1%C5%88%C3%A1k  &quot;The Flawed Defence&quot;] Article by Milan Kundera in ''Salon'' November 2008. Retrieved 2010-09-25 
* [http://www.salon.eu.sk/article.php?article=728&amp;searchPhrase=Ivan%20Kl%C3%ADm &quot;Informing und Terror&quot;], by Ivan Klíma, about the Kundera controversy ''Salon'' October 2008. Retrieved 2010-09-25
* [http://www.salon.eu.sk/article.php?article=749&amp;searchPhrase=Str%C3%A1nsk%C3%BD Leprosy] by Jiří Stránský, about the Kundera controversy, ''Salon'' October 2008. Retrieved 2010-09-25

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kundera, Milan}}
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[[File:Kim Hartman 2011.jpg|right|thumb|180px|Yes, Herr Flick!]]
'''''[[w:'Allo 'Allo!|'Allo 'Allo!]]''''' (1982–1992) was a TV-series, broadcast on the [[British]] television channel [[w:BBC1|BBC1]]. The show's premise was not to make fun of the war but to spoof war-based film and TV dramas.

== [[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 1)|Series 1]] ==
=== [[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 1)#Pilot: The British Are Coming|Pilot: The British Are Coming]]===
:''[René is trying to work out who is working for the Resistance]''
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': Are you one of them?
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Lt. Gruber]]''': It was very lonely on the Russian front.
:'''[[w:Monsieur Roger LeClerc|LeClerc]]''': Is he one of us?
:'''René''': No, he is one of them!
:'''Gruber''': Please, do not tell everybody!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The British airmen are cycling along the left side of a road on the way to Nouvion dressed as onion sellers]''
:'''[[w:Lt. Fairfax and Lt. Carstairs|Carstairs]]''': Pretty place France, don’t you think so, Fairfax? Napoleon planted all these trees, you know?
:'''[[w:Lt. Fairfax and Lt. Carstairs|Fairfax]]''': Wonder when he had time to fight any battles?
:'''Carstairs''': He didn’t do it personally, fathead. He had them planted to keep the sun off his troops while they were marching up and down... Do you notice that when ever we pass these peasant people they seem to stare at us in a rather odd way?
:'''Fairfax''': Maybe, because you’re driving a girl's bicycle. 
:'''Carstairs''': Perhaps we’re doing something wrong. ''[A car drives by and almost crushes into them]''
:'''Carstairs''': Fairfax, I think I’ve cracked it. We’re riding on the wrong side of the road!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering are admiring their newly stolen treasures]''
:'''[[w:Captain Hans Geering|Geering]]''': It is not much to look at, Herr Colonel. 
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Colonel]]''': Hans, you ignorant peasant, this is probably the first cuckoo-clock ever made. Absolutely priceless. Und this, this is the Fallen Madonna by Van Klomp, which will be worth a fortune after the war. 
:'''Geering''': Is it wise to have it in your office?
:'''Colonel''': Who can see it apart from Helga?
:'''Geering''': Come to think of it, it looks a little like Helga.
:'''Colonel''': You too?

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)|Series 2]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#Six Big Boobies|Six Big Boobies]]===
:''[Herr Flick has mixed up the original Fallen Madonna with two forgeries and needs Helga's help to identify the real one]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': I have three fallen Madonnas, with six big boobies. Only one of them is real.
:'''[[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Helga]]''': Only one big booby?
:'''Flick'''. One painting is the original, the other two are forgeries.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#The Policeman Cometh|The Policeman Cometh]]===
:''[Officer Crabtree has just arrived by parachute dressed as a policeman]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': I am disgeesed as poloceman so I am oble to move aboot with complate frodom.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Herr Flick and Helga are in Herr Flick's secret headquarters]''
:'''[[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Helga]]''': You're looking pensive Herr Flick.
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': I'm trying to decide what to do with you tonight. I might take you to the movies.
:'''Helga''': What is showing?
:'''Herr Flick''': Anything we want. Or we could stay here and amuse ourselves. I have a box of sharp needles somewhere. (Helga looks a little nervous) Ah, here they are. 
:'''Helga''': What have you in mind Herr Flick?
:'''Herr Flick''': I have an excellent gramophone, and many records of Hitler's speeches. They are quite amusing. 
:'''Helga''': (surprised) Hitler's speeches, quite amusing?
:'''Herr Flick''': Played at double speed, he sounds like Donald Duck.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[René is on the telephone to the communist resistance to ask them to blow up a train]''
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': How much?! Now look here. It is just one little train. Well surely you could do it for a bit less than that. Is that your rock-bottom price? Well hang on a minute. ''[Puts down telephone, opens the till. Checks cash, and goes back to the telephone]''. No, no, I cannot go to that ''[pause]''. Well how would it be if we supplied the explosives? ''[panics slightly]'' No, no I do not want to leave my name, no, it is just an enquiry!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Helga is standing in a corner of Herr Flicks headquarters]''
:'''Herr Flick''': Let that be a lesson to you. Never again will you burn my toast.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#Swiftly and with Style|Swiftly and with Style]]===
:''[Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering are about to desert from the German army because they failed to destroy a munitions train]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': I have good nose.
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': Yes, yes, you are very handsome...
:'''Officer Crabtree''': The troon carrying the painting has been bummed by the RAF.
:'''René''': Bummed by the RAF?!
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Col. Von Strohm]] / [[w:Captain Hans Geering|Captain Geering]]''': Bummed by the RAF⁉
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Lt. Gruber]]''': What have the naughty RAF been up to now?
:'''René''': They bombed an munition train.
:'''Captain Geering''': Did they destroy it?
:'''Officer Crabtree''': There were little pisses all over the track.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#Herr Flick.27s Revenge|Herr Flick's Revenge]]===
:''[Herr Flick is playing the organ whilst Helga crushes the Captain, the Colonel and René]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': Look! No hands!

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#Christmas Special: The Gateau from the Chateau|Christmas Special: The Gateau from the Chateau]]===
:''[Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering are planning to kill General Von Klinkerhoffen]''
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Colonel]]''': Hans, have you got the weedkiller?
:'''[[w:Captain Hans Geering|Geering]]''': Even better - the chemist gave me a pill containing all his best poisons. You take it with a glass of wine. One drink and... ''[impersonates a dead person]'' all is quiet on the Western Front.
:'''Colonel''': Are you sure it'll work?
:'''Geering''': Yes. I told him it was for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Captain Geering is putting the plan to kill General Von Klinkerhoffen into action]''
:'''Geering''': The Colonel gave you a pill. Where is it?
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''':I have the pill in the till.
:'''Geering''': Wheere is the vine for the General?
:'''René''': It is here in this jug.
:'''Geering''': The pill contains a drug.
:'''René''': The pill in the till?
:'''Geering''': Take it and put it in there.
:'''René''': Put the drug in the jug?
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Gruber]]''': (Comes in with the Gateau) We nearly forgot the most important thing.
:'''René''': (panic) Oh, my God! The Gateau from the Chateau!
:'''Geering''': What about the Gateau from the Chateau?
:'''René''': It contains a bomb!!!
:'''Geering''': A bomb in the Gateau from the Chateau???
:'''René''': It is to blow up the General! You must not let anyone light that fuse.
:'''Geering''': But where is the fuse?
:'''René''': It is the candle with the handle.
:'''Geering''': You do not need to kill the General, we have already arranged to kill the General... Do you not see? That if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the Gateau from the Chateau!
:'''René''': Simple plots are always the best.

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)|Series 3]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)#Gruber Does Some Mincing|Gruber Does Some Mincing]]===
:''[A tailor prepares an outfit for Helga that Herr Flick will find appropriate for the Gestapo Ball]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': We can't have you going to the Gestapo Ball looking any old how.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Herr Flick sings the &quot;Traditional Gestapo Dance&quot; set to the tune of &quot;[[w:The Hokey Pokey|The Hokey Cokey]]&quot;]''
:'''Herr Flick''':  You put your left boot in, you put your left boot out!  You do a lot of shouting and you shake your fist about.  You light a little smokey and you burn down the town, that's what it's all about! ''[While executing a lopsided turn]'' heil! Ahhh, Himmler, Himmler, Himmler! [While moving hands up and down]

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)#The Sausage in the Wardrobe|The Sausage in the Wardrobe]]===
:''[Madame Fanny has been spending forged money in the hat shop]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Crabtree]]''': Good Moaning, I have come to arost your mither.
:'''[[w:Yvette Carte-Blanche|Yvette]]''': Arrest her mother? Why, what has she done?
:'''Crabtree''': She has been pissing fudged bank notes in the hit shop.
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''': What does Crabtree say, Yvette?
:'''Yvette''': I think he means &quot;she has been passing forged bank notes in the hat shop.
:'''Crabtree''': Presoasly
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''' (Dressed like Fanny, doing a poor impression of her): Edith, remind him he is supposed to be on our side.
:'''Crabtree''': Who is the ugly old bog in the bed beside your mother?
:'''[[w:Madame Fanny La Fan|Fanny]]''': I have been asking the same question.
:'''René''' (takes off his wig): It is I, Rene.
:'''Crabtree''': My Gid that was a god disgeese, I was complotely decieved by the wog.
:'''René''': Edith, give him 500 francs from the till and tell him to pass off.
:'''Crabtree''': There is no need to be rode.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)#The Flight of Fancy|The Flight of Fancy]]===
:''[Herr Flick's car is flattened by a steam roller driven by Captain Geering]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': Who has squashed my Gestapo staff car? 
:'''Colonel Von Strohm''': It was Captain Geering, Herr Flick.
:'''Captain Geering''': ''[Nervously]'' Heil Hilter.
:'''Herr Flick''': This is very serious... The Gestapo is only insured third party.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)#Pretty Maids All in a Row|Pretty Maids All in a Row]]===
:''[Edith has 'shot' the two airmen with Captain Geering's gun, then handed the gun back to him]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': I was pissing by the door, when I heard two shats. You are holding in your hand a smoking goon; you are clearly the guilty potty.

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 4)|Series 4]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 4)#Good Staff Are Hard to Find|Good Staff Are Hard to Find]]===
:''[Captain Bertorelli has been taken upstairs by Mimi to look at some paintings. Mimi actually intends to kill him]''
:'''[[w:Captain Alberto Bertorelli|Captain Bertorelli]]''': Sigorine!
:''[He staggers down the stairs after Mimi roughed him up &quot;showing him the paintings&quot;, he finially collapses on the floor gibbering, trying to say something to Lt. Gruber]''
:'''Captain Bertorelli''': Whatever you do, don't-a you make a pass at the girls.
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': Don't worry, he won't.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 4)#The Sausage in the Trousers|The Sausage in the Trousers]]===
:''[Officer Crabtree enters the cafe walking very gingerly]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': I am wicking this woo because my poloceman's troosers are full of [[w:Dynamite|deenamote]].

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 4)#The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law|The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law]]===
:''[Edith discovers René and Yvette embracing in the larder]''
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''': René! What are you doing with your arms around that girl?
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': You stupid woman? Can you not see she's suffering from claustrophobia? She accidentally locked herself in the larder.
:'''Edith''': But there is no key!
:'''René''': Exactly, that's why she couldn't get out.
:'''Edith''': Oh, the poor child. Oh, it happened to me once. I screamed and screamed, but nobody came.
:'''René''': We thought you were singing.

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)|Series 5]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)#No Hiding Place|No Hiding Place]]===
:''[René has just survived an attempt on his life by the Communist Resistance, in retaliation for the events of the previous episode]''
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''': He is dead!
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': I am not dead, you silly cow!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[René goes to the Gendarmerie (police station) as he continues to look for somewhere safe to hide from Denise Laroque. Watch this on [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ovkJn8YAg8 YouTube]]''
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': Service! Is this a police station or a mortuary? (He rings the bell on the counter)
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Crabtree]]''': Would you please stop bonging the bill, or I shall lick you up for disturbing the puss.
:'''René''': Office Crabtree, it is I, René Artois (He removes his false beard). Will you lock me up, please?
:'''Crabtree''': Are you confessing to some cream?
:'''René''': Yes. Cream galore!
:'''Crabtree''': In that curse, you must fill in a foam. Here is a list of creams. I will tick what you have din. Meerder?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': [[w:Manslaughter|Minslaughter]]?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': [[w:Rape|Roop]]?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': [[w:Burglary|Biglary]]?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': Biglary with [[w:Menace (disambiguation)|minaces]]?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': Handbog snitching?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': [[w:Arson|Arsin]]?
:'''René''': What is &quot;arsin&quot;?
:'''Crabtree''': Setting fire to places.
:'''René''': Ah! My life is in danger, so I will confess to all of these things, as long as you lock me up.
:'''Crabtree''': I see. Unfortunately, all the sills are filled to caposity. Could you come back next woke?
:'''René''': Oh my God! Why do I pay rates?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[René has been captured by the Communist Resistance and brought to Denise Laroque. She forgives him]''
:'''[[w:Denise Laroque|Denise]]''': Now, hold me. Kiss me. Crush your lips with my lips, and tell me you will never leave me again.
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': (Mumbled, as she kisses him) I will never leave you again.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)#The Reluctant Millionaires|The Reluctant Millionaires]]===
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': There was a wetness at the bonk.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)#A Duck for Launch|A Duck for Launch]]===
:'''Herr flick''': What part of France do you come from?
:'''Officer Crabtree''': I am half Itolioen.
:'''Herr Flick''': Itolioen?
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Itolioen.
:'''von Smallhousen''': I think he means Italian.
:'''Officer Crabtree''': I was brought up in Nipples.
:'''Herr Flick''': Nipples?
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Yes. You know the old suing: See Nipples, and do.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)#Puddings Can Go Off|Puddings Can Go Off]]===
:'''[[w:General Von Klinkerhoffen|General Von Klinkerhoffen]]''': It has come to the ears of the Fuhrer that two of the latest Mark Six landmines are missing from this district. He has of course flown into one of his familiar rages.
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Lt. Gruber]]''': Has he eaten the carpet?
:'''General Von Klinkerhoffen''': No. But he's done a lot of no-good to a reproduction of the Bayeux Tapestry.
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Colonel Von Strohm]]''': Do you think he has a screw loose?
:'''General Von Klinkerhoffen''': In my opinion, a whole Meccano set has fallen apart in there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Edith asks René for smelling salts but he tells her they have run out]''
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''':I must put up my nose more mothballs!

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 6)|Series 6]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 6)#Rising to the Occasion|Rising to the Occasion]]===
:''[General Von Klinkerhoffen has just been told by Lieutenant Gruber and General Von Flockenstaffen than the Colonel, Herr Flick and Herr Von Smallhausen are being held to ransom by the Resistance, and has decided they can be sacrificed]''
:'''[[w:General Leopold von Flockenstuffen|Von Flockenstuffen]]''': Piggy old boy, when was the last time you had a holiday?
:'''[[w:General Von Klinkerhoffen|Von Klinkerhoffen]]''': Badenbaden '38. You were both there. We went to a fancy dress ball at the baths. I went as Atilla the Hun.
:'''Von Flockenstuffen''': ''[On the phone]'' Get me the military hospital. Fruitcake department.

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 7)|Series 7]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 7)#A Quiet Honeymoon|A Quiet Honeymoon]]===
:''[Helga arrives at Herr Flick's headquarters]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': My spies inform me that the old lady from the cafe and her geriatric husband have been jailed for flying an unlicensed bed in military airspace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Herr Flick wants to interrogate Madame Fanny, who is in jail, by getting Von Smallhausen arrested too]''
:'''[[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Helga]]''': What crime will this very common-looking criminal commit Herr Flick?
:'''Herr Flick''': It is not yet decided.
:'''Helga''': Could he not climb into the Colonel's office and steal the petty cash?
:'''Herr Flick''': That is a good idea Helga. My dazzling brilliance is obviously rubbing off on you. As a reward you may kiss me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Colonel Von Strohm is in a bad mood with Von Flockenstuffen and takes it out on Captain Bertorelli]''
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Colonel Von Strohm]]''': Get out, and whilst you're out why don't you kill a chicken and get your hat restuffed.
:'''[[w:Captain Alberto Bertorelli|Captain Bertorelli]]''': Good idea. I go and chase a bird or two. (Pinches Helga's bottom on the way out.)

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[General Von Klinkerhoffen is in hospital in a straitjacket. He is talking into the telephone which is next to the fruit bowl when General Von Flockenstuffen and Lieutenant Gruber visit]''
:'''[[w:General Von Klinkerhoffen|General Von Klinkerhoffen]]''': Hello Operator. Get me Berlin at once.
:'''Operator''': I'll give you a line and you can dial the number yourself.
:'''Von Klinkerhoffen''': You incompetent idiot. Come back.
:''[General Von Flockenstuffen and Lieutenant Gruber enter the room]''
:'''[[w:General Leopold von Flockenstuffen|Von Flockenstuffen]]''': Yes. I hope the General will be well enough to come out for a period of convalescence.
:'''Von Klinkerhoffen''': What is your name, rank and number? Talk to me. If you will not reply I will have you court martialed.
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Gruber]]''': ''[Aside to Von Flockenstuffen]'' He's talking to the fruit.
:'''Von Flockenstuffen''': On second thoughts, I think we'll keep him in for the time being.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Edith implores René to help Madame Fanny to escape from jail]''
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''': Mama is not well. How will she endure the hardships of prison life? The isolation, the damp, the lack of gin?
'''René''': She is only the local nick. She has not been sent to Devil's Island... Yet, anyway.

== Series 9 ==

=== A Winkle in Time ===
[[Edith Sitwell|Edith]]: &quot;René!  What are you doing with that serving girl?&quot;

René:  &quot;You stupid woman! Can you not see ... I am eloping!&quot;

==Unknown episodes==
:''[Michelle appears and wants to make sure she and René are alone]''
:'''[[w:Michelle Dubois|Michelle]]''': Is the coast clear?
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': We are fifty miles from the coast! How would I know?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Lt. Gruber]]''': You were always a Twitcher.
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': I'm still Twitching.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''[[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Helga]]''': Herr Flick, where are you?
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': I am behind this screen with von Smallhausen.
:'''Helga''': May I inquire to what you are up?
:'''Herr Flick''': We have taken off our clothes in accordance with the Fuhrer's instructions.
:'''Helga''': What exactly did the Fuhrer ask you to do?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[To Yvette]''
:'''René''': When we are too old to make love, we will make wonderful soup.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Madame Fanny''': Even in heaven, they know about my bad legs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Madame Fanny''': An old woman lies here growing weak from lack of nourishment!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Monsieur Alfonse''': Pardon, mademoiselle. I keep forgetting that we Frenchmen have a tradition...of having it off like rabbits.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''(Disguised as a priest during the wedding of René to Denise Laroque)''
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Dearly belivid. We are gathered here todoo to join this min and this women in haley weedlock.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': We will goo oot the bock wee.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': This is rosky in day light. Can you not wait until it is dick?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': A bum.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Then they will be taken to the arbour where a small boot will be waiting by the dis-used dick.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': A pissy up a tree?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Do not wirry, Ronnie...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[On answering the telephone]''
:'''Herr Flick''':  Flick, the Gestapo... No, I said FLICK, the Gestapo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[After blowing up the Gestapo staff car]''
:'''Herr Flick''': I will not be informing Berlin of this incident. I do not wish to look a right nana.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[To Helga, who is trying to break an eggshell]''
:'''Herr Flick''': Hit it hard with your spoon. They always break in the end.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Helga has given Herr Flick a passionate kiss]''
:'''Herr Flick''': Six out of Ten.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[On the telephone to Himmler]''
:'''Herr Flick''': But uncle, you cannot expect me to shoot everyone in the town. I'm unpopular enough as it is!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Captain Bertorelli''': Hey! Where's all the beautiful girls?

==Common phrases==
=== [[w:René Artois|René Artois]] ===
* (To Edith) You stupid woman!
* (To Madame Fanny) Shut up, you (silly) old bat.
* You may wonder what I am doing....
* Oh Yvette!

=== [[w:Edith Artois|Edith Artois]] ===
* René! What are you doing with that woman?
* René! What are you doing, holding that poor servant-girl in your arms?

=== [[w:Yvette Carte-Blanche|Yvette Carte-Blanche]] ===
[[File:Vicki Michelle.JPG|right|thumb|180px|Ooooh, Rrrrenéééé!]]
* Ooooh, Rrrrenéééé!

===[[w:Madame Fanny La Fan|Madame Fanny La Fan]]===
* Edith! Yvette! Maria/Mimi! Oh! Does nobody hear the cries of an poor old woman!?
* Ze flashing knobs, ze flashing knobs!! (in later seasons, Leclerc often comes out from the bedclothes)
* Not the onion soup!

=== [[w:Michelle Dubois|Michelle Dubois]]===
* Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.
* Can you do nothing right?!

=== [[w:Monsieur Alfonse|Monsieur Alfonse]] ===
* Monsieur Alfonse, undertaker - Swiftly, and with style.
* Ze small hearse with ze small horse.
* Ohhh... my dicky ticker!
* I love you, I love you! (running after Madame Edith and pinching her bum)

=== [[w:Monsieur Roger LeClerc|Leclerc]] ===
* It is I, Leclerc!
Variant:
* Leclerc: It is I, Leclerc, man of a thousand faces!
* René: All of them the same.

=== [[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Private Helga Geerhart]] ===
* May I kiss you?
* Yes, Herr Flick!
* Go away!
* [at the top of her voice] GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN!

=== [[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]] ===
* Gid moaning.
* I have bad nose.
* I have a massage from Michelle.
* I was pissing by the door...
* I was in the poop
* Hole Hotler!

=== [[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]] ===
* Take off your clothes.
* You may kiss me!
* Flick ze Gestapo... no, I said FLICK ze Gestapo!
* Give me my powerful Gestapo binoculars.
* You vill dress as a woman of the opposite sex

=== [[w:Captain Alberto Bertorelli|Captain Alberto Bertorelli]] ===
* What-a mistake-a to make-a
* Da a beautiful laidy i-a kiss-a your hand
* Heil-a Mussolini! (in response to General Von Klinkerhoffen's &quot;Heil Hitler&quot;)
* My heart goes boom-titi-boom... titi-boom
* Colonnello! (kisses Von Strohm on his bald head)
* Ow are you getting on, ey?

=== [[w:Captain Hans Geering|Captain Hans Geering]] ===
* 'tler!  (pronouncing only the last third of &quot;Heil Hitler!&quot;)

=== [[w:Lt. Fairfax and Lt. Carstairs|Lt. Fairfax and Lt. Carstairs]] ===
* Hello! (when they come out of hiding)
* (Jolly) good show!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Gorden Kaye|Gorden Kaye]] - René Artois - deceased
* [[w:Carmen Silvera|Carmen Silvera]] - Edith Artois - deceased
* [[w:Vicki Michelle|Vicki Michelle]] - Yvette Carte-Blanche
* [[w:Francesca Gonshaw|Francesca Gonshaw]] - Maria Recamier
* [[w:Rose Hill|Rose Hill]] - Fanny La Fan - deceased
* [[w:Sue Hodge|Sue Hodge]] - Mimi Labonq
* [[w:Jack Haig|Jack Haig]] - Roger LeClerc - deceased
* [[w:Robin Parkinson|Robin Parkinson]] - Ernest LeClerc - deceased
* [[w:Kirsten Cooke|Kirsten Cooke]] - Michelle Dubois from the Resistance
* [[w:Kenneth Connor|Kenneth Connor]] - Monsieur Alphonse(undertaker)- deceased
* [[w:Hilary Minster|Hilary Minster]] - General Erich Von Klinkerhoffen- deceased
* [[w:Richard Marner|Richard Marner]] - Col. Kurt von Strohm - deceased
* [[w:Guy Siner|Guy Siner]] - Lt. Hubert Gruber
* [[w:Kim Hartman|Kim Hartman]] - Pvt./LCpl. Helga Geerhart
* [[w:Sam Kelly|Sam Kelly]] - Captain Hans Geering - deceased
* [[w:Richard Gibson|Richard Gibson]] - Herr Otto Flick of the Gestapo
* [[w:John Louis Mansi|John Louis Mansi]] - Bobby Cedric Von Smallhousen(also from the Gestapo) - deceased
* [[w:Gavin Richards|Gavin Richards]] - Captain Alberto Bertorelli
* [[w:Arthur Bostrom|Arthur Bostrom]] - Officer Crabtree
* [[w:John D. Collins|John D. Collins]] - British airman Gavin Fairfax
* [[w:Nicholas Frankau|Nicholas Frankau]] - British airman Bumbley Carstairs

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}
* {{imdb title|id=0086659|title='Allo 'Allo!}}

[[Category:BBC shows]]
[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:Nazis in television]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
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'''[[w:William Blackstone|Sir William Blackstone]]''' ([[July 10]], [[1723]] – [[February 14]], [[1780]]) was an English jurist and professor who produced the historical treatise on the [[w:common law|common law]] called ''[[w:Commentaries on the Laws of England|Commentaries on the Laws of England]]''.

==Quotes==
=== ''[[w:Commentaries on the Laws of England|Commentaries on the Laws of England]]'' (1765–1769) ===
* Law, in its most general and comprehensive sense, signifies a rule of action; and is applied indiscriminately to all kinds of action, whether animate, or inanimate, rational or irrational. Thus we say, the laws of motion, of gravitation, of optics, or mechanics, as well as the laws of nature and of nations. And it is that rule of action, which is prescribed by some superior, and which the inferior is bound to obey.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_intro.asp Introduction, Section II]: Of the Nature of Laws in General

* Man was formed for society and is neither capable of living alone, nor has the courage to do it.
** Introduction, Section II: Of the Nature of Laws in General

* Man, considered as a creature, must necessarily be subject to the laws of his creator, for he is entirely a dependent being...This law of nature, being co-eval with mankind and dictated by God himself, is of course superior in obligation to any other. It is binding over all the globe, in all countries, and at all times: no human laws are of any validity, if contrary to this; and such of them as are valid derive all their force, and all their authority, mediately or immediately, from this original.
** Introduction, Section II: Of the Nature of Laws in General

* If the parliament will positively enact a thing to be done which is unreasonable, I know of no power that can control it: and the examples usually alleged in support of this sense of the rule do none of them prove, that where the main object of a statute is unreasonable the judges are at liberty to reject it; for that were to set the judicial power above that of the legislature, which would be subversive of all government. But where some collateral matter arises out of the general words, and happens to be unreasonable; there the judges are in decency to conclude that this consequence was not foreseen by the parliament, and therefore they are at liberty to expound the statute by equity, and only ''quoad hoc'' disregard it.
** [https://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_intro.asp#3 Introduction, Section III]: Of the Laws of England.

* The absolute rights of man, considered as a free agent, endowed with discernment to know good from evil, and with power of choosing those measures which appear to him to be most desirable, are usually summed up in one general appellation, and denominated the natural liberty of mankind. This natural liberty consists properly in a power of acting as one thinks fit, without any restraint or control, unless by the law of nature: being a right inherent in us by birth, and one of the gifts of God to man at his creation, when he endowed him with the faculty of freewill. But every man, when he enters into society, gives up a part of his natural liberty, as the price of so valuable a purchase; and, in consideration of receiving the advantages of mutual commerce, obliges himself to conform to those laws, which the community has thought proper to establish.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch1.asp Book I, ch. 1]: Of the Absolute Rights of Individuals.

* What they do, no authority upon earth can undo.
** [https://lonang.com/library/reference/tucker-blackstone-notes-reference/tuck-202/ Book I, ch. 2]: Of the Parliament.

* '''In this distinct and separate existence of the judicial power, in a peculiar body of men, nominated indeed, but not removable at pleasure, by the crown, consists one main preservative of the public liberty; which cannot subsist long in any state, unless the administration of common justice be in some degree separated both from the legislative and the also from the executive power.''' Were it joined with the legislative, the life, liberty, and property of the subject would be in the hands of arbitrary judges, whose decisions would be then regulated only by their own opinions, and not by any fundamental principles of law; which, though legislators may depart from, yet judges are bound to observe. Were it joined with the executive, this union might soon be an overbalance for the legislative. For which reason... effectual care is taken to remove all judicial power out of the hands of the king's privy council; who, as then was evident from recent instances might soon be inclined to pronounce that for law, which was most agreeable to the prince or his officers. '''Nothing therefore is to be more avoided, in a free constitution, than uniting the provinces of a judge and a minister of state.'''
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch7.asp Book I, ch. 7]: Of the King's Prerogative.

* The royal navy of England hath ever been its greatest defense and ornament; it is its ancient and natural strength; the floating bulwark of our island.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch13.asp Book I, ch. 13]: Of the Military and Maritime States.

* Time whereof the memory of man runneth not to the contrary.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch18.asp Book I, ch. 18]: Of Corporations.

* There is nothing which so generally strikes the imagination, and engages the affections of mankind, as the right of property; or that sole and despotic dominion which one man claims and exercises over the external things of the world, in total exclusion of the right of any other individual in the universe. And yet there are very few, that will give themselves the trouble to consider the original and foundation of this right.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk2ch1.asp Book II, ch. 1]: Of Property in General.

* That the king can do no wrong, is a necessary and fundamental principle of the English constitution.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk3ch17.asp Book III, ch. 17]: Of Injuries Proceeding from, or Affecting, the Crown.

* All the several pleas and excuses, which protect the committer of a forbidden act from the punishment which is otherwise annexed thereto, may be reduced to this single consideration, the want or defect of will. An involuntary act, as it has no claim to merit, so neither can it induce any guilt: the concurrence of the will, when it has its choice either to do or to avoid the fact in question, being the only thing that renders human actions either praiseworthy or culpable. Indeed, to make a complete crime, cognizable by human laws, there must be both a will and an act.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk4ch2.asp Book IV, ch. 2]: Of the Persons Capable of Committing Crimes.

* Of crimes injurious to the persons of private subjects, the most principal and important is the offense of taking away that life, which is the immediate gift of the great creator; and which therefore no man can be entitled to deprive himself or another of, but in some manner either expressly commanded in, or evidently deducible from, those laws which the creator has given us; the divine laws, I mean, of either nature or revelation.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk4ch14.asp Book IV, ch. 14]: Of Homicide.

* The founders of the English laws have with excellent forecast contrived, that no man should be called to answer to the king for any capital crime, unless upon the preparatory accusation of twelve or more of his fellow subjects, the grand jury: and that the truth of every accusation, whether preferred in the shape of indictment, information, or appeal, should afterwards be confirmed by the unanimous suffrage of twelve of his equals and neighbours, indifferently chosen, and superior to all suspicion. So that the liberties of England cannot but subsist, so long as this palladium remains sacred and inviolate, not only from all open attacks, (which none will be so hardy as to make) but also from all secret machinations, which may sap and undermine it; by introducing new and arbitrary methods of trial, by justices of the peace, commissioners of the revenue, and courts of conscience. And however convenient these may appear at first, (as doubtless all arbitrary powers, well executed, are the most convenient) yet let it be again remembered, that delays, and little inconveniences in the forms of justice, are the price that all free nations must pay for their liberty in more substantial matters; that these inroads upon this sacred bulwark of the nation are fundamentally opposite to the spirit of our constitution; and that, though begun in trifles, the precedent may gradually increase and spread, to the utter disuse of juries in questions of the most momentous concern.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk4ch27.asp Book IV, ch. 27]: Of Trial, And Conviction.

* '''It is better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer.'''
** Book IV, ch. 27.

==Quotes about William Blackstone==
*He was the greatest exponent of the common law that we have ever had... To this we owe his immortal ''Commentaries on the Laws of England. In four books''. They were the product of his lectures over a period of twelve years. The work was at once acclaimed as a classic by lawyers and by men of letters. It has remained a classic ever since. I have an early edition in my library. I refer to it constantly when I want to know what the law was in his day. I am always amazed at the breadth of his knowledge, the research which he did, the style of his prose, and his statement of principles. It is the greatest law-book that we have ever had.
**[[Alfred Denning, Baron Denning|Lord Denning]], ''What Next in the Law'' (1982), pp. 13, 15

== External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/subject_menus/blackstone.asp Sir William Blackstone's ''Commentaries on the Laws of England'', from the Avalon Project at Yale Law School]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Blackstone, William}}
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[[Category:Jurists]]
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[[Category:Members of the Parliament of the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]]

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[[File:SirWilliamBlackstone.jpg|200px|thumb|Blackstone (T[[homas Gainsborough]], 1774)]]

'''[[w:William Blackstone|Sir William Blackstone]]''' ([[July 10]], [[1723]] – [[February 14]], [[1780]]) was an English jurist and professor who produced the historical treatise on the [[w:common law|common law]] called ''[[w:Commentaries on the Laws of England|Commentaries on the Laws of England]]''.

==Quotes==
=== ''[[w:Commentaries on the Laws of England|Commentaries on the Laws of England]]'' (1765–1769) ===
* Law, in its most general and comprehensive sense, signifies a rule of action; and is applied indiscriminately to all kinds of action, whether animate, or inanimate, rational or irrational. Thus we say, the laws of motion, of gravitation, of optics, or mechanics, as well as the laws of nature and of nations. And it is that rule of action, which is prescribed by some superior, and which the inferior is bound to obey.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_intro.asp Introduction, Section II]: Of the Nature of Laws in General

* Man was formed for society and is neither capable of living alone, nor has the courage to do it.
** Introduction, Section II: Of the Nature of Laws in General

* Man, considered as a creature, must necessarily be subject to the laws of his creator, for he is entirely a dependent being...This law of nature, being co-eval with mankind and dictated by God himself, is of course superior in obligation to any other. It is binding over all the globe, in all countries, and at all times: no human laws are of any validity, if contrary to this; and such of them as are valid derive all their force, and all their authority, mediately or immediately, from this original.
** Introduction, Section II: Of the Nature of Laws in General

* If the parliament will positively enact a thing to be done which is unreasonable, I know of no power that can control it: and the examples usually alleged in support of this sense of the rule do none of them prove, that where the main object of a statute is unreasonable the judges are at liberty to reject it; for that were to set the judicial power above that of the legislature, which would be subversive of all government. But where some collateral matter arises out of the general words, and happens to be unreasonable; there the judges are in decency to conclude that this consequence was not foreseen by the parliament, and therefore they are at liberty to expound the statute by equity, and only ''quoad hoc'' disregard it.
** [https://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_intro.asp#3 Introduction, Section III]: Of the Laws of England.

* The absolute rights of man, considered as a free agent, endowed with discernment to know good from evil, and with power of choosing those measures which appear to him to be most desirable, are usually summed up in one general appellation, and denominated the natural liberty of mankind. This natural liberty consists properly in a power of acting as one thinks fit, without any restraint or control, unless by the law of nature: being a right inherent in us by birth, and one of the gifts of God to man at his creation, when he endowed him with the faculty of freewill. But every man, when he enters into society, gives up a part of his natural liberty, as the price of so valuable a purchase; and, in consideration of receiving the advantages of mutual commerce, obliges himself to conform to those laws, which the community has thought proper to establish.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch1.asp Book I, ch. 1]: Of the Absolute Rights of Individuals.

* What they do, no authority upon earth can undo.
** [https://lonang.com/library/reference/tucker-blackstone-notes-reference/tuck-202/ Book I, ch. 2]: Of the Parliament.

* '''In this distinct and separate existence of the judicial power, in a peculiar body of men, nominated indeed, but not removable at pleasure, by the crown, consists one main preservative of the public liberty; which cannot subsist long in any state, unless the administration of common justice be in some degree separated both from the legislative and the also from the executive power.''' Were it joined with the legislative, the life, liberty, and property of the subject would be in the hands of arbitrary judges, whose decisions would be then regulated only by their own opinions, and not by any fundamental principles of law; which, though legislators may depart from, yet judges are bound to observe. Were it joined with the executive, this union might soon be an overbalance for the legislative. For which reason... effectual care is taken to remove all judicial power out of the hands of the king's privy council; who, as then was evident from recent instances might soon be inclined to pronounce that for law, which was most agreeable to the prince or his officers. '''Nothing therefore is to be more avoided, in a free constitution, than uniting the provinces of a judge and a minister of state.'''
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch7.asp Book I, ch. 7]: Of the King's Prerogative.

* The royal navy of England hath ever been its greatest defense and ornament; it is its ancient and natural strength; the floating bulwark of our island.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch13.asp Book I, ch. 13]: Of the Military and Maritime States.

* Time whereof the memory of man runneth not to the contrary.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch18.asp Book I, ch. 18]: Of Corporations.

* There is nothing which so generally strikes the imagination, and engages the affections of mankind, as the right of property; or that sole and despotic dominion which one man claims and exercises over the external things of the world, in total exclusion of the right of any other individual in the universe. And yet there are very few, that will give themselves the trouble to consider the original and foundation of this right.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk2ch1.asp Book II, ch. 1]: Of Property in General.

* That the king can do no wrong, is a necessary and fundamental principle of the English constitution.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk3ch17.asp Book III, ch. 17]: Of Injuries Proceeding from, or Affecting, the Crown.

* All the several pleas and excuses, which protect the committer of a forbidden act from the punishment which is otherwise annexed thereto, may be reduced to this single consideration, the want or defect of will. An involuntary act, as it has no claim to merit, so neither can it induce any guilt: the concurrence of the will, when it has its choice either to do or to avoid the fact in question, being the only thing that renders human actions either praiseworthy or culpable. Indeed, to make a complete crime, cognizable by human laws, there must be both a will and an act.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk4ch2.asp Book IV, ch. 2]: Of the Persons Capable of Committing Crimes.

* Of crimes injurious to the persons of private subjects, the most principal and important is the offense of taking away that life, which is the immediate gift of the great creator; and which therefore no man can be entitled to deprive himself or another of, but in some manner either expressly commanded in, or evidently deducible from, those laws which the creator has given us; the divine laws, I mean, of either nature or revelation.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk4ch14.asp Book IV, ch. 14]: Of Homicide.

* The founders of the English laws have with excellent forecast contrived, that no man should be called to answer to the king for any capital crime, unless upon the preparatory accusation of twelve or more of his fellow subjects, the grand jury: and that the truth of every accusation, whether preferred in the shape of indictment, information, or appeal, should afterwards be confirmed by the unanimous suffrage of twelve of his equals and neighbours, indifferently chosen, and superior to all suspicion. So that the liberties of England cannot but subsist, so long as this palladium remains sacred and inviolate, not only from all open attacks, (which none will be so hardy as to make) but also from all secret machinations, which may sap and undermine it; by introducing new and arbitrary methods of trial, by justices of the peace, commissioners of the revenue, and courts of conscience. And however convenient these may appear at first, (as doubtless all arbitrary powers, well executed, are the most convenient) yet let it be again remembered, that delays, and little inconveniences in the forms of justice, are the price that all free nations must pay for their liberty in more substantial matters; that these inroads upon this sacred bulwark of the nation are fundamentally opposite to the spirit of our constitution; and that, though begun in trifles, the precedent may gradually increase and spread, to the utter disuse of juries in questions of the most momentous concern.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk4ch27.asp Book IV, ch. 27]: Of Trial, And Conviction.

* '''It is better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer.'''
** Book IV, ch. 27.

==Quotes about William Blackstone==
*He was the greatest exponent of the common law that we have ever had... To this we owe his immortal ''Commentaries on the Laws of England. In four books''. They were the product of his lectures over a period of twelve years. The work was at once acclaimed as a classic by lawyers and by men of letters. It has remained a classic ever since. I have an early edition in my library. I refer to it constantly when I want to know what the law was in his day. I am always amazed at the breadth of his knowledge, the research which he did, the style of his prose, and his statement of principles. It is the greatest law-book that we have ever had.
**[[Alfred Denning, Baron Denning|Lord Denning]], ''What Next in the Law'' (1982), pp. 13, 15

== External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/subject_menus/blackstone.asp Sir William Blackstone's ''Commentaries on the Laws of England'', from the Avalon Project at Yale Law School]

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[[Category:Members of the Parliament of the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]]

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[[File:SirWilliamBlackstone.jpg|200px|thumb|Blackstone (T[[homas Gainsborough]], 1774)]]

'''[[w:William Blackstone|Sir William Blackstone]]''' ([[July 10]], [[1723]] – [[February 14]], [[1780]]) was an English jurist and professor who produced the historical treatise on the [[w:common law|common law]] called ''[[w:Commentaries on the Laws of England|Commentaries on the Laws of England]]''.

==Quotes==
=== ''[[w:Commentaries on the Laws of England|Commentaries on the Laws of England]]'' (1765–1769) ===
* Law, in its most general and comprehensive sense, signifies a rule of action; and is applied indiscriminately to all kinds of action, whether animate, or inanimate, rational or irrational. Thus we say, the laws of motion, of gravitation, of optics, or mechanics, as well as the laws of nature and of nations. And it is that rule of action, which is prescribed by some superior, and which the inferior is bound to obey.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_intro.asp Introduction, Section II]: Of the Nature of Laws in General

* Man was formed for society and is neither capable of living alone, nor has the courage to do it.
** Introduction, Section II: Of the Nature of Laws in General

* Man, considered as a creature, must necessarily be subject to the laws of his creator, for he is entirely a dependent being...This law of nature, being co-eval with mankind and dictated by God himself, is of course superior in obligation to any other. It is binding over all the globe, in all countries, and at all times: no human laws are of any validity, if contrary to this; and such of them as are valid derive all their force, and all their authority, mediately or immediately, from this original.
** Introduction, Section II: Of the Nature of Laws in General

* If the parliament will positively enact a thing to be done which is unreasonable, I know of no power that can control it: and the examples usually alleged in support of this sense of the rule do none of them prove, that where the main object of a statute is unreasonable the judges are at liberty to reject it; for that were to set the judicial power above that of the legislature, which would be subversive of all government. But where some collateral matter arises out of the general words, and happens to be unreasonable; there the judges are in decency to conclude that this consequence was not foreseen by the parliament, and therefore they are at liberty to expound the statute by equity, and only ''quoad hoc'' disregard it.
** [https://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_intro.asp#3 Introduction, Section III]: Of the Laws of England.

* The absolute rights of man, considered as a free agent, endowed with discernment to know good from evil, and with power of choosing those measures which appear to him to be most desirable, are usually summed up in one general appellation, and denominated the natural liberty of mankind. This natural liberty consists properly in a power of acting as one thinks fit, without any restraint or control, unless by the law of nature: being a right inherent in us by birth, and one of the gifts of God to man at his creation, when he endowed him with the faculty of freewill. But every man, when he enters into society, gives up a part of his natural liberty, as the price of so valuable a purchase; and, in consideration of receiving the advantages of mutual commerce, obliges himself to conform to those laws, which the community has thought proper to establish.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch1.asp Book I, ch. 1]: Of the Absolute Rights of Individuals.

* What they do, no authority upon earth can undo.
** [https://lonang.com/library/reference/tucker-blackstone-notes-reference/tuck-202/ Book I, ch. 2]: Of the Parliament.

* '''In this distinct and separate existence of the judicial power, in a peculiar body of men, nominated indeed, but not removable at pleasure, by the crown, consists one main preservative of the public liberty; which cannot subsist long in any state, unless the administration of common justice be in some degree separated both from the legislative and the also from the executive power.''' Were it joined with the legislative, the life, liberty, and property of the subject would be in the hands of arbitrary judges, whose decisions would be then regulated only by their own opinions, and not by any fundamental principles of law; which, though legislators may depart from, yet judges are bound to observe. Were it joined with the executive, this union might soon be an overbalance for the legislative. For which reason... effectual care is taken to remove all judicial power out of the hands of the king's privy council; who, as then was evident from recent instances might soon be inclined to pronounce that for law, which was most agreeable to the prince or his officers. '''Nothing therefore is to be more avoided, in a free constitution, than uniting the provinces of a judge and a minister of state.'''
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch7.asp Book I, ch. 7]: Of the King's Prerogative.

* The royal navy of England hath ever been its greatest defense and ornament; it is its ancient and natural strength; the floating bulwark of our island.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch13.asp Book I, ch. 13]: Of the Military and Maritime States.

* Time whereof the memory of man runneth not to the contrary.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk1ch18.asp Book I, ch. 18]: Of Corporations.

* There is nothing which so generally strikes the imagination, and engages the affections of mankind, as the right of property; or that sole and despotic dominion which one man claims and exercises over the external things of the world, in total exclusion of the right of any other individual in the universe. And yet there are very few, that will give themselves the trouble to consider the original and foundation of this right.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk2ch1.asp Book II, ch. 1]: Of Property in General.

* That the king can do no wrong, is a necessary and fundamental principle of the English constitution.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk3ch17.asp Book III, ch. 17]: Of Injuries Proceeding from, or Affecting, the Crown.

* All the several pleas and excuses, which protect the committer of a forbidden act from the punishment which is otherwise annexed thereto, may be reduced to this single consideration, the want or defect of will. An involuntary act, as it has no claim to merit, so neither can it induce any guilt: the concurrence of the will, when it has its choice either to do or to avoid the fact in question, being the only thing that renders human actions either praiseworthy or culpable. Indeed, to make a complete crime, cognizable by human laws, there must be both a will and an act.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk4ch2.asp Book IV, ch. 2]: Of the Persons Capable of Committing Crimes.

* Of crimes injurious to the persons of private subjects, the most principal and important is the offense of taking away that life, which is the immediate gift of the great creator; and which therefore no man can be entitled to deprive himself or another of, but in some manner either expressly commanded in, or evidently deducible from, those laws which the creator has given us; the divine laws, I mean, of either nature or revelation.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk4ch14.asp Book IV, ch. 14]: Of Homicide.

* The founders of the English laws have with excellent forecast contrived, that no man should be called to answer to the king for any capital crime, unless upon the preparatory accusation of twelve or more of his fellow subjects, the grand jury: and that the truth of every accusation, whether preferred in the shape of indictment, information, or appeal, should afterwards be confirmed by the unanimous suffrage of twelve of his equals and neighbours, indifferently chosen, and superior to all suspicion. So that the liberties of England cannot but subsist, so long as this palladium remains sacred and inviolate, not only from all open attacks, (which none will be so hardy as to make) but also from all secret machinations, which may sap and undermine it; by introducing new and arbitrary methods of trial, by justices of the peace, commissioners of the revenue, and courts of conscience. And however convenient these may appear at first, (as doubtless all arbitrary powers, well executed, are the most convenient) yet let it be again remembered, that delays, and little inconveniences in the forms of justice, are the price that all free nations must pay for their liberty in more substantial matters; that these inroads upon this sacred bulwark of the nation are fundamentally opposite to the spirit of our constitution; and that, though begun in trifles, the precedent may gradually increase and spread, to the utter disuse of juries in questions of the most momentous concern.
** [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/blackstone_bk4ch27.asp Book IV, ch. 27]: Of Trial, And Conviction.

* '''It is better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer.'''
** Book IV, ch. 27.

==Quotes about William Blackstone==
*He was the greatest exponent of the common law that we have ever had... To this we owe his immortal ''Commentaries on the Laws of England. In four books''. They were the product of his lectures over a period of twelve years. The work was at once acclaimed as a classic by lawyers and by men of letters. It has remained a classic ever since. I have an early edition in my library. I refer to it constantly when I want to know what the law was in his day. I am always amazed at the breadth of his knowledge, the research which he did, the style of his prose, and his statement of principles. It is the greatest law-book that we have ever had.
**[[Alfred Denning, Baron Denning|Lord Denning]], ''What Next in the Law'' (1982), pp. 13, 15

*My good lord, till of late I could never, with any satisfaction to myself, answer that question; but, since the publication of Mr. Blackstone's Commentaries I can never be at a loss. ''There'' your son will find analytical reasoning diffused in a pleasing and perspicuous style. ''There'' he may imbibe imperceptibly the first principles on which our excellent laws are founded, and &lt;small&gt;THERE&lt;/small&gt; he may become acquainted with an uncouth crabbed author, ''[[w:Coke on Littleton|Coke upon Littleton]]'', who has disappointed and disheartened many a ''Tyro'', but who cannot fail to please in a modern dress.
**[[William Murray, 1st Earl of Mansfield|Lord Mansfield]], reply to a peer who asked him what books he would advise his son to read, who was determined to be a lawyer, quoted in John Holliday, ''The Life of William Late Earl of Mansfield'' (1797), pp. 89-90

== External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/subject_menus/blackstone.asp Sir William Blackstone's ''Commentaries on the Laws of England'', from the Avalon Project at Yale Law School]

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      <text bytes="5338" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Dana Reeve|Dana Reeve]]''' ([[17 March]] [[1961]] – [[6 March]] [[2006]]), born '''Dana Morosini''', was an American actress, singer, and social activist. She was wife of actor [[Christopher Reeve]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Reeve Foundation logo.png|thumb| You have to celebrate the gifts because [[life]] is so hard and I think once you realize life's gonna be hard, the [[good]] stuff really comes forward.]]

* We have become accustomed to living our life with joy amidst pain and challenges
** ''Access Hollywood'' Interview (May 2005)

* You have to celebrate the gifts because life is so hard and I think once you realize life's gonna be hard, the good stuff really comes forward.
** ''Access Hollywood'' Interview (May 2005)

=== Middlebury College Address (2004) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Commencement Address, Middlebury College (23 May 2004)&lt;/small&gt; 

* It’s amazing how clean your room can get when you have an assignment due. I considered the possibility of just telling a bunch of jokes and leaving the inspiring to my husband, because he’s very good at that. But, I’m not going to do that.

* '''My job here today, our job, is to tell you the one thing you can count on. The one thing I can guarantee you can expect in life is that you will experience the thoroughly unexpected.'''

* '''[[John Lennon]] wrote a line that I’m sure has been used in many commencement addresses. “Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans.” … There is really no way of knowing where your life’s journey will take you.''' I never would have predicted the fabric of my life would have evolved into the rich, complex design I enjoy and am challenged by daily. My work, the achievements for which I am receiving such a great honor here today, my purpose in life, have been born out of a set of unplanned circumstances, in large part, but not completely, circumstances beyond my control. I never anticipated being a caregiver for my spouse at the age of 34. I don’t think I ever dreamt I would help run a foundation that raises money for biomedical research and people with disabilities.

* I was trained as an actress, but as much as I love that work when I can get it, it is not my acting work for which I’m generally known. It is not my chosen career path that ultimately defines me, but rather an unfamiliar, unexpected path that has presented itself. To quote another group from my youth, “what a long, strange trip it’s been,” and I won’t have it any other way. &lt;br&gt;Life continues to surprise and delight me, even when I think I know what I want from it. I knew I wanted to be a mother, for example, but, and I’m sure your parents can relate to this, I had no idea how much fun I would have nor how much I would learn about life and myself from my child and stepchildren.

* '''There will be many choices before you, some of which you’ll welcome and celebrate, and then there will be some over which you will anguish. Some choices will choose you.''' How you face these choices, these turns in the road, with what kind of attitude, more than the choices themselves, is what will define the context of your life.

* '''Be brave. Be open-minded. Be kind. Be forgiving. Be generous. Be optimistic. Be grateful for the many unexpected lessons you will learn.''' Find the joy inside the hardship. It’s there. I assure you. And, too, be open to inspiration from unlikely sources.

* '''A [[Buddhist]] saying, which I think captures perfectly the idea that life is a series of opportunities arising out of unforeseen circumstances: ''Unceasing change turns the wheel of life, and so reality is shown in all its many forms.'' '''&lt;br&gt;Now for those of you who have stayed up all night in advance of today’s activities, it may take a while for the deep wisdom of that idea to fully resonate, but once it creeps into your consciousness, and, as you continue your life’s journey from this day forth, I think the remarkable truth of this statement will surprise and amaze you and possibly even serve as a source of comfort at some point.

* I know that you’ve heard this before ad nauseam, but twenty years do go by at lightning speed, and that is my first pearl of wisdom. And, now, the others in this pocket pack of precepts to live by...&lt;br&gt;Take care of yourself and be caring with others. Nurture a sense of gratitude, and be grateful for a sense of humor. Be sure to thank your parents and mentors for all they’ve given you, but give love to your future children and mentees freely without any expectation of thanks in return. '''Look for ways to let your light shine, but don’t be afraid occasionally to be in the dark. Strive to make your behavior above reproach, but be careful not to cast judgment on others whose behavior may reflect a different form of reality. The more you give, the richer you will become. Let your life be enhanced by the company you keep.'''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0716106/ Dana Reeve]
 

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      <text bytes="27555" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Benjamin Graham (1894-1976) in 1950.jpg|thumb|Benjamin Graham]]
'''[[w:Benjamin Graham|Benjamin Graham]]''' ([[May 9]], [[1894]] &amp;ndash; [[September 21]], [[1976]]) was an influential [[economist]] and professional [[w:stock investor|investor]].  Graham is considered the first proponent of [[w:Value investing|Value Investing]]. Well known disciples (students and teaching assistants) of Graham include [[Warren Buffett]], [[w:William J. Ruane|William J. Ruane]], [[w:Irving Kahn|Irving Kahn]], [[w:Walter J. Schloss|Walter Schloss]], and [[w:Charles Brandes|Charles Brandes]]. Buffett, who credits Graham as grounding him with a sound intellectual investment framework, described him as the second most influential person in his life after his own father. In fact, Graham had such an overwhelming influence on his students that two of them, Buffett and Kahn, named their sons, [[w:Howard Graham Buffett|Howard Graham Buffett]] and Thomas Graham Kahn, after him.  

==Quotes ==

* '''You are neither right nor wrong because people agree with you.'''
** As quoted by [[Warren Buffett]], in an interview in ''Forbes'' magazine (1 November 1974)

===''Storage and Stability'' (1937)===

* The idea of storage as a solution of economic problems at least has the support of common sense.It is diametrically opposed to the topsy-turvy Alice-in-Wonderland reasoning that has marked so much of our depression thinking and policy.
** Preface, p. vii

* Instead of passing blithely over into that [[w:Promised Land|Promised Land]], flowing almost literally with milk and honey, it may be our destiny to wander a full 40 years or more in the wilderness of doubt and divided sentiments.  
** Part I, Chapter I, The Changing Role of Surplus Stocks, p. 4

* Even the most conservative must realize that the recent transformation of surplus from an individual to a national disaster implies a scathing indictment of our capitalist system as it has now developed.
** Part I, Chapter I, The Changing Role of Surplus Stocks, p. 17

* Whether we like it or not, government intervention in the face of surplus is here to stay. 
** Part I, Chapter II, Government and Surplus Stocks, p. 26
[[File:Hoover dam with large American flag.jpg|right|175px|thumb|The State can always afford to finance what its citizens can soundly produce.]]
* It is a fact worth pondering that four centuries ago the evil of &quot;an abundance or surplus&quot; arose from its being kept off the market, while today the evil of surplus lies in its being thrown upon the market.
** Part I, Chapter II, Government and Surplus Stocks, p. 28

* '''''The State can always afford to finance what its citizens can soundly produce'''''.
** Part I, Chapter III, The Problem of Conserving Surplus, p. 43 (italics as per text)

* The Reservoir system will function not only as an equalizer of business conditions, but also as a national store to meet further emergencies, such as war and drought, and-most important of all-as the concrete means of developing a steadily higher living standard for all.  
** Part II, Chapter IV, A Plan For Conserving Surplus, p. 50

* Why should the cotton growers suffer if there is shortage of wheat?
** Part II, Chapter V, Reservoir System and Commodities, p. 72

* Price statistics show clearly that instability in raw-material prices is a prime cause of instability of other prices.
** Part II, Chapter VI, The Question of Price Stability, p. 85

* The existence of such a war chest might go far to strengthen our prestige and frighten off any would be assailant.
** Part II, Chapter VIII, Ultimate Uses of the Stored Units, p. 97

* Both a priori reasoning and experience teach us that as as these funds grow larger the geometrical rate of growth by compound interest ultimately defeats itself.
** Part II, Chapter VIII,Ultimate Uses of the Stored Units, p. 103

* The money cost of the reservoir plan literally fades into insignificance when it is compared with the financial burden which the great depression imposed on the nation.
** Part II, Chapter IX, The Cost of the Reservoir Plan, p. 114

* The utility, or intrinsic value of gold as a commodity is now considerably less than in the past; its monetary status has become extraordinarily ambiguous; and its future is highly uncertain.  
** Part III, Chapter X, The Status of Gold and Silver, p. 127

* THERE is widespread agreement among economists that abuse of credit constitutes one of the chief unwholesome elements in business booms and is mainly responsible for the ensuing crash and depression.
** Part III, Chapter XIII, The Reservoir Plan and Credit Control, p. 153

* '''The volume of credit depends upon three factors: the desire to borrow, the ability to lend and the desire to lend.''' 
** Part III, Chapter XIII, The Reservoir Plan and Credit Control, p. 154

* There is something paradoxical in the fact that by establishing an export market we subject our entire domestic production to the vagaries of that market. 
** Part IV, Chapter XIV, Farm Problems and Remedies, p. 172

* It must be fundamentally wrong to reduce production of food and fiber while one-third of our population is still ill fed and ill clothed. 
** Part IV, Chapter XVI, Reservoir Plan Versus Crop Control, p. 195

* The Reservoir plan is an engineering mechanism applied to the field of economics, and in its essence it has nothing to do with democracy or any other political philosophy. 
** Part V, Chapter XIX, The Reservoir Plan and Tradition, p. 232

* The people of the United States will not tolerate another deep depression that arises not from any lack of natural resources, productive capacity or man and brain power, but solely from imperfections in the functioning of the system of finance capitalism.  
** Part V, Chapter XIX, The Reservoir Plan and Tradition, p. 234 (See also; [[w:Karl Marx|Karl Marx]], [[w:Das Kapital|Capital]])

===''World Commodities and World Currencies'' (1944)===

* The world has not learned the technique of balanced expansion without the resultant commercial and financial congestion.
** Chapter I, The Problem of Raw Materials, p. 5

* Cartels have spread and will spread as long as the world lacks an effective mechanism by which balanced expansion may be achieved without a resulting disruption of prices.
** Chapter II, The Issue of Cartels, p. 21

* The modern world is not geared properly to the storage of goods. 
** Chapter III, The Paradox of the Stockpile, p. 23

* The story of Joseph in Egypt and of the seven fat and the seven lean years has passed into the homely wisdom of the ages; but our economic thinking seems to have lost contact with so simple and basic approach to prudent management of a nations welfare. 
** Chapter V, Stabilization of Raw Materials, p. 56

* Many progressive economists insist that gold is now in essentially the same position as silver and that the arguments the simon-pure gold advocates use against the white metal can be directed with equal effect against their own fetish.
** Chapter IX, Commodities, Gold, Credit as Money, p. 100 (See also [[Karl Marx]], Capital Volume I, p. 89)

* '''It is a misfortune of the times that all of us must needs be amateur economists-including, and perhaps especially, the professionals.''' 
** Chapter X, Commodity Unit Stabilization, p. 109

* We have introduced the monetary factor not by necessity but by choice. Its advantages are obvious. Self-financed commodity units are not only interest free, but free also from dependence upon credit conditions. They are a step-desirable, it seems to us-in the direction of a goods economy as distinct from a money economy; but this step is taken without violence by merely identifying basic goods with money. '''It guarantees unfailing purchasing power where it is most needed-among the countless producers of raw commodities.'''   
** Chapter X, Commodity Unit Stabilization, p. 114

=== ''The Intelligent Investor: The Classic Text on Value Investing'' (1949)===

* Though business conditions may change, corporations and securities may change, and financial institutions and regulations may change, human nature remains the same. Thus the important and difficult part of sound investment, which hinges upon the investor's own temperament and attitude, is not much affected by the passing years.
** Introduction, p. xxiv

* The history of the past fifty years, and longer, indicates that a diversified holding of representative common stocks will prove more profitable over a stretch of years than a bond portfolio, with one important provisio—that the shares must be purchased at reasonable market levels, that is, levels that are reasonable in the light of fairly well-defined standards derived from past experience.
** Chapter I, What the Intelligent Investor Can Accomplish, p. 7

* Stocks can be dynamite.
** Chapter I, What the Intelligent Investor Can Accomplish, p. 8

*The genuine investor in common stocks does not need a great equipment of brain and knowledge, but he does need some unusual qualities of character
** Chapter I, What the Intelligent Investor Can Accomplish, p. 8

* It is no difficult trick to bring a great deal of energy, study, and native ability into Wall Street and to end up with losses instead of profits. These virtues, if channeled in the wrong directions, become indistinguishable from handicaps.
** Chapter I, What the Intelligent Investor Can Accomplish, p. 11

* All the real money in investment will have to be made—as most of it has been in the past— not out of buying and selling but out of owning and holding securities, receiving interests and dividends therein, and benefiting from their long-term increases in value. Hence stockholder's major energies and wisdom as investors should be directed toward assuring themselves of the best operating results from their corporations. This in turn means assuring themselves of fully honest and competent managements.
** Chapter I, What the Intelligent Investor Can Accomplish, p. 17

* Nothing in [[finance ]]is more fatuous and harmful, in our opinion, than the firmly established attitude of common stock investors regarding questions of corporate management. That attitude is summed up in the phrase: &quot;If you don't like the management, sell your stock.&quot; [...] The public owners seem to have abdicated all claim to control over the paid superintendents of their property
**  Chapter I, What the Intelligent Investor Can Accomplish, p. 18

* Intelligent investment is more a matter of mental approach than it is of technique. A sound mental approach toward stock fluctuations is the touchstone of all successful investment under present-day conditions.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 21

* In most cases the favorable price performance will be accompanied by a well-defined improvement in the average earnings, in the dividend, and in the balance-sheet position. Thus in the long run the market test and the ordinary business test of a successful equity commitment tend to be largely identical.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 25

* A price decline is of no real importance to the bona fide investor unless it is either very substantial—say, more than a third from cost—or unless it reflects a known deterioration of consequence in the company's position. In a well-defined bear market many sound common stocks sell temporarily at extraordinary low prices. It is possible that the investor may then have a paper loss of fully 50 per cent on some of his holdings, without any convincing indication that the underlying values have been permanently affected.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 25

* Why could the typical investor expect any better success in trying to buy at low levels and sell at high levels than in trying to forecast what the market is going to do? Because if he does the former he acts only after the market has moved down into buying levels or up into selling levels. His role is not that of a prophet but of a businessman seizing clearly evident investment opportunities. He is not trying to be smarter than his fellow investors but simply trying to be less irrational than the mass of speculators who insist on buying after the market advances and selling after it goes down. If the market persists in behaving foolishly, all he seems to need is ordinary common sense in order to exploit its foolishness.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 31

* It is worth pointing out that assuredly not more than one person out of a hundred who stayed in the market after ''after ''1925 emerged from it with a net profit and that the speculative losses taken were appalling.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 34

* Whenever the investor sold out in an upswing as soon as the top level of the ''previous'' well-recognized bull market was reached, he had a chance in the next bear market to buy back at one third (or better) below his selling price.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 35

* The graph does show one tremendous rise and collapse which stands out starkly from all the other fluctuations. This is commonly called the &quot;new era&quot; stock market of 1927-33. The striking feature of this phenomenon was that the new era existed solely in the minds of market speculators. The whole episode, in retrospect, now seems to have been one of those rare manifestations of mass financial madness which we used to study in our history books under the titles of &quot;the South Sea Bubble&quot;, &quot;the Mississippi Bubble&quot; and so on.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 36

* The purchase of a bargain issue presupposes that the market's current appraisal is wrong, or at least that the buyer's idea of value is more likely to be right than the market's. In this process the investor sets his judgement against that of the market. To some this may seem arrogant or foolhardy.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 38

* If General Motors is worth $60 a share to an investor it must be because the full common-stock ownership of this gigantic enterprise as a whole is worth 43 million (shares) times $60, or no less than $2,600 million.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 39

* The true investor scarcely ever ''has to sell'' his shares, and at all other times he is free di disregard the current price quotation. He need pay attention to it and act upon it only to the extent that it suits his book, and no more. Thus the investor who permits himself to be stampeded or unduly worried by unjustified market declines in his holdings is perversely transforming his basic advantage into a basic disadvantage. That man would be better off if his stocks had no market quotation at all, for he would then be spared the mental anguish caused him by ''other persons''' mistakes of judgement.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 40

* The investor has the benefit of the stock market's daily and changing appraisal of his holdings, ''for whatever that appraisal may be worth'', and, second, that the investor is able to increase or decrease his investment at the market's daily figure—''if he chooses''. Thus the existence of a quoted market gives the investor ''certain options'' which he does not have if his security is unquoted. But it does not impose the current quotation on an investor who prefers to take his idea of value from some other source.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 41

* Basically, price fluctuations have only one significant meaning for the true investor. They provide him with an opportunity to buy wisely when prices fall sharply and to sell wisely when they advance a great deal. At other times he will do better if he forgets about the stock market and pays attention to his dividend returns and to the operating results of his companies.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 42

* The investor's primary interest lies in acquiring and holding suitable securities at suitable prices.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 43

* The investor would not be far wrong if this motto read more simply: &quot;Never buy a stock immediately after a substantial rise or sell one immediately after a substantial drop&quot;.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 43

* Good managements produce a good average market price, and bad managements produce bad market prices.
** Chapter II, The Investor and Stock-Market Fluctuations, p. 44

* If we assume that there are normal or standard ''income'' results to be obtained from investing money in securities, then the role of the adviser can be more readily established. He will use his superior training and experience to protect his clients against mistakes and to make sure that they obtain the results to which their money is entitled.
** Chapter III, The Investor and His Advisers, p. 45

* Nearly everyone interested in common stocks wants to be told by someone else what he thinks the market is going to do. The demand being there, it must be supplied.
** Chapter III, The Investor and His Advisers, p. 48

* The value of the security analyst to the investor depends largely on the investor's own attitude. If the investor asks the analyst the right questions, he is likely to get the right—or at least valuable— answers.
** Chapter III, The Investor and His Advisers, p. 51

* Readers of this book, however intelligent and knowing, could scarcely expect to do a better job of portfolio selection than the top analysts of the country. But if it is true that a fairly large segment of the stock market is often discriminated against or entirely neglected in the standard analytical selections, then the intelligent investor may be in a position to profit from the resultant undervaluations.
** p. 204.

* Good management are rarely overcompensated to an extent that makes any significant difference with respect to the stockholder's position. Poor management are always overcompensated, because they are worth less than nothing to the owners.
** Chapter XIV, Stockholders and Managements, p. 209

=== ''[[w:The Intelligent Investor|The Intelligent Investor]]'' (1973) (Fourth Revised Edition)===

* Unusually rapid growth cannot keep up forever; when a company has already registered a brilliant expansion, its very increase in size makes a repetition of its achievement more difficult. 
** Chapter 7, Portfolio Policy: The Positive Side, p. 75
[[File:Stora Kopparberg 1288.jpg|right|225px|thumb|Investment is most intelligent when it is most'' businesslike''.]]

* '''Wall Street has a few prudent principles; the trouble is that they are always forgotten when they are most needed.'''
** Chapter 16, Convertible Issues and Warrants, p. 225

* Observation over many years has taught us that the chief losses to investors come from the purchase of ''low-quality'' securities at times of favorable business conditions.
** Chapter 20, &quot;Margin of Safety&quot;: The Central Concept, p. 280

* [[Investment]] is most intelligent when it is most'' businesslike''.
** Chapter 20, &quot;Margin of Safety&quot;: The Central Concept, p. 286

* Do not let anyone else run your business.
** Chapter 20, &quot;Margin of Safety&quot;: The Central Concept, p. 286

* '''To achieve ''satisfactory'' [[investment]] results is easier than most people realize; to achieve ''superior results'' is harder than it looks.''' 
** Chapter 20, &quot;Margin of Safety&quot;: The Central Concept, p. 287

{{disputed begin}}

==Disputed==
* In the short-run, the market is a voting machine - reflecting a voter-registration test that requires only money, not intelligence or emotional stability - but in the long-run, the market is a weighing machine.
* [Shorter variant:] In the short run, the market is a voting machine but in the long run, it is a weighing machine.
** Quoted and attributed to Graham in Warren Buffett's 1993 letter to investors.[https://www.berkshirehathaway.com/letters/1993.html]
: The statement is not found in any of Graham's publications or lecture transcripts, and when asked, Buffett could not provide a reference.[https://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=77840]
{{disputed end}}

== Quotes about Benjamin Graham ==

* A story that was passed down from Ben Graham illustrates the lemminglike behavior of the crowd: &quot;Let me tell you the story of the oil prospector who met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. When told his occupation, St. Peter said, “Oh, I’m really sorry. You seem to meet all the tests to get into heaven. But we’ve got a terrible problem. See that pen over there? That’s where we keep the oil prospectors waiting to get into heaven. And it’s filled—we haven’t got room for even one more.” The oil prospector thought for a minute and said, “Would you mind if I just said four words to those folks?” “I can’t see any harm in that,” said St. Pete. So the old-timer cupped his hands and yelled out, “Oil discovered in hell!” Immediately, the oil prospectors wrenched the lock off the door of the pen and out they flew, flapping their wings as hard as they could for the lower regions. “You know, that’s a pretty good trick,” St. Pete said. “Move in. The place is yours. You’ve got plenty of room.” The old fellow scratched his head and said, “No. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go along with the rest of ’em. There may be some truth to that rumor after all.&quot;
** [[Warren Buffett]] in his [http://www.berkshirehathaway.com/letters/1985.html Berkshire Hathaway 1985 Annual Report]

* In his first edition of ''[[w:Security Analysis (book)|Security Analysis]]'', back in 1933, Graham expressed disdain for Wall Street's near-obsession with earnings in determining the value of a public company. For Graham, book value was a better guide. ...Bill Graham was right. ...We took the largest 1,500 companies... for the 25-year period ended Dec. 31, 1994. ...We calculated returns for the 20% of stocks with the lowest and highest price-to-book ratios. ...[I]t was no contest. ...If you had invested $10,000 in the lowest... it would have returned $364,000... This more than doubled the return of the market as a whole... an equally weighted market index provided... $163,000. ...[S]tocks that sold at the handsomest premiums to book value... ended up with a miserable $92,000, about 55% of the market's return and only one-fourth ...the lowest price-to-book group. ...[E]motion favors the premium priced stocks. They are fashionable. They are hot. ...Emotion overrides logic time after time.
** {{w|David Dreman}}, [https://www8.gsb.columbia.edu/sites/valueinvesting/files/files/07DOC005.pdf &quot;Ben Graham was right—again&quot;] (May 6, 1988) ''Forbes'', p. 145.

* Ben Graham was a truly formidable mind, and he also had a clarity in writing. And, we've talked over and over again about the power of a few simple ideas thoroughly assimilated. ... that happened with Graham's ideas, which came to me indirectly through Warren — but also some directly from Graham. ... And, by the way, Buffett was the best student Graham had in 30 years of teaching at Columbia. ... Buffett became way better than Graham. That is a natural outcome. ... [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] said that, &quot;If I've seen a little further than other men, it's by standing on the shoulders of giants.&quot; ... Warren may have stood on Ben's shoulders, but he ended up seeing farther. And, no doubt, somebody will come along in due course and do a lot better than we have.
** [[Charlie Munger]], {{cite journal|title=1997 FULL Berkshire Hathaway Annual Meeting Warren Buffett Charlie Munger|date=March 9, 2019|journal=IDP, YouTube|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzGFP4n7zVE}} (quote at 4:44:43 of 5:19:21)

=== &quot;{{w|The Superinvestors of Graham-and-Doddsville}}&quot; (Fall, 1984) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[[Warren Buffett]], ''Hermes'', Columbia Business School magazine, [https://www8.gsb.columbia.edu/sites/valueinvesting/files/files/Buffett1984.pdf source.]&lt;/small&gt;

* Tom [Knapp] was a chemistry major at Princeton before the war; when he came back... he was a beach bum. And then one day he read that [[w:David Dodd|Dave Dodd]] was giving a night course in investments at Columbia. Tom took it on a non-credit basis, and he got so interested... that he enrolled at Columbia Business School where he got the MBA... He took Dodd's course again, and took Ben Graham's course. ...35 years later ...I found him on the beach ...he owns the beach!&lt;!--p.9--&gt;

* You... have to have the knowledge to... make a very general estimate about the value of the underlying businesses. But you do not cut it close. That is what Ben Graham meant by having a [[w:Margin of safety (financial)#Application to investing|margin of safety]].&lt;!--p.14--&gt;

* [T]he secret has been out for 50 years, ever since Ben Graham and [[w:David Dodd|Dave Dodd]] wrote ''[[w:Security_Analysis_(book)|Security Analysis]]'', yet I have seen no trend toward {{w|value investing}} in... 35 years... There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.&lt;!--p.15--&gt;

* There will continue to be wide discrepancies between price and value in the marketplace, and those who read their Graham and [[w:David Dodd|Dodd]] will continue to prosper.&lt;!--p.15--&gt;

=== &quot;After the Crash: The Opportunities According to Benjamin Graham&quot; (1988) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Michael Aczel, ''The Investment Analyst''&lt;/small&gt;

* There are perhaps four points where Graham departs radically from conventional practice: ...The &quot;value&quot; ...is not a short-term price forecast ...The &quot;value&quot; is a medium-term sustainable value for the firm as on on-going operation. ...The future is estimated conservatively, using realistic estimates of earnings, and prudent multipliers ...[O]nly ...purchase when price is substantially below value, thus using a considerable &quot;margin of safety&quot;. The security should be sold when price begins to exceed value by a given proportion. ...[P]articularly at times when the market is low, a sufficiently large number of under-priced securities will exist ...This insight is perhaps his most unusual one. ...[U]nderpriced shares almost disappear when the market is historically high, and reappear when it falls.&lt;!--p.21--&gt;

* Graham strongly felt that market prices could be considerably out of line with values. The reason for this discrepancy he took to be psychological. ...[T]he overall level of the market could go to extremes in either direction, as optimism or pessimism holds sway. ...[F]avored stocks would sell at unduly high prices, while unpopular stocks would sell at unduly low prices.&lt;!--p.21--&gt;

* Graham's approach is cogent, well argued and has a substantial following among successful investors. There is some modern evidence to support him. It may well be worthwhile to sharpen his methods along modern lines and to test them thoroughly.&lt;!--p.24--&gt;

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.wiley.com/legacy/products/subject/finance/bgraham/index.html The Rediscovered Benjamin Graham – Selected Writings of the Wall Street Legend], by [[w:Janet Lowe|Janet Lowe]]

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  <page>
    <title>July 30</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:59:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>add 1</comment>
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      <text bytes="21831" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div id=&quot;30&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 0em; border: thin solid black; padding: 3px; background-color: #CFE5FF; font: bold 14pt sans-serif;&quot;&gt;[[Category:Days]][[w:July 30|July 30]]&lt;/div&gt; &lt;noinclude&gt;'''Quotes of the day''' from previous years:&lt;/noinclude&gt;

* On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. ~ [[Charles Babbage]]
:* selected by [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]]

; 2004
: I just know that something good is going to happen. I don't know when — but just saying it could even make it happen. ~ [[Kate Bush]] (born 30 July 1958)
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2005
: ''No coward soul is mine, &lt;br&gt; No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere: &lt;br&gt; I see Heaven's glories shine, &lt;br&gt; And Faith shines equal, arming me from Fear.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Emily Brontë]] ~ (born 30 July 1818)
:* proposed by [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]]

; 2006
: ''What am I singing? &lt;br&gt; A song of seeds &lt;br&gt;The food of love. &lt;br&gt; Eat the music.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2007
: ''Just being alive&lt;br&gt;It can really hurt.&lt;br&gt;These moments given&lt;br&gt;Are a gift from time.&lt;br&gt;Just let us try&lt;br&gt;To give these moments back&lt;br&gt;To those we love&lt;br&gt;To those who will survive.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:11, 29 July 2007 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2008
: ''I don't know you, &lt;br&gt; And you don't know me. &lt;br&gt; It is this that brings us together.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:49, 29 July 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2009
:&lt;p&gt;''Moving stranger, &lt;br&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br&gt; As long as you're not afraid to feel?''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Touch me, hold me. &lt;br&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br&gt; Try to fall for me.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;~ [[Kate Bush]] ~&lt;/p&gt;
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 13:15, 27 July 2009 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 21:59, 29 July 2005 (UTC) &lt;/s&gt;Or perhaps just the first three lines... I've varying preferences on it, but tend to slightly prefer the longer version.
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 14:49, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2010
:&lt;p&gt;''With wide-embracing love&lt;br&gt;Thy Spirit animates eternal years,&lt;br&gt; Pervades and broods above,&lt;br&gt;Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates, and rears.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Though earth and moon were gone,&lt;br&gt;And suns and universes ceased to be,&lt;br&gt; And Thou wert left alone,&lt;br&gt;Every existence would exist in Thee.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''There is not room for Death,&lt;br&gt;Nor atom that his might could render void:&lt;br&gt;Thou —THOU art Being and Breath,&lt;br&gt;And what THOU art may never be destroyed.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Emily Brontë]] ~&lt;/p&gt;
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 22:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 21:59, 29 July 2005 (UTC) with a VERY strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 14:49, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2011
: ''I love the whirling of the dervishes. &lt;br&gt; I love the beauty of rare innocence. &lt;br&gt; You don't need no crystal ball, &lt;br&gt; Don't fall for a magic wand. &lt;br&gt; We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2012
: {{quote of the day
| quote = '' Nobody knows about my [[man]]. &lt;br&gt; They think he's [[Loss|lost]] on [[Lost Horizon (film)|some horizon]]. &lt;br&gt; And suddenly I find [[Self|myself]] &lt;br&gt; Listening to a man I've never [[Knowledge|known]] before, &lt;br&gt; Telling me about the [[sea]], &lt;br&gt; All his love, 'til [[Eternity]].&lt;br&gt; Ooh, he's here again, &lt;br&gt; The man with the [[child]] in his [[eyes]].''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:09, 26 July 2012 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2013
{{quote of the day
| quote =&lt;p&gt;''[[Vain]] are the thousand creeds &lt;br&gt; That move men's [[hearts]]: unutterably vain; &lt;br&gt; Worthless as withered weeds, &lt;br&gt;Or idle froth amid the boundless main,''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''To waken [[doubt]] in one &lt;br&gt; Holding so fast by Thine [[infinity]]; &lt;br&gt; So surely anchored on &lt;br&gt; The stedfast rock of [[immortality]].''&lt;/p&gt;
| author = Emily Brontë
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- Vain are the thousand creeds that move men's hearts: unutterably vain... ~ [[Emily Brontë]] (date of birth)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 01:30, 29 July 2013 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 22:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC) * 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:11, 29 July 2007 (UTC) // 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 21:59, 29 July 2005 (UTC) &lt;/s&gt;
: Though I have long loved that line in Brontë's poem, since early childhood, and I have thought the following lines somewhat strained or awkward poetically, I believe I would prefer to use them for context, if this line were used for QOTD:
::&lt;p&gt;Vain are the thousand creeds &lt;br&gt; That move men's hearts: unutterably vain; &lt;br&gt; Worthless as withered weeds, &lt;br&gt;Or idle froth amid the boundless main, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; To waken doubt in one &lt;br&gt; Holding so fast by Thine infinity; &lt;br&gt; So surely anchored on &lt;br&gt; The stedfast rock of immortality.&lt;/p&gt;
* 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 14:49, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 15:37, 21 July 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2014
{{quote of the day
| quote =&lt;p&gt;''We're [[all]] [[alone]] on the stage [[tonight]]. &lt;br /&gt; We've been told; we're not [[afraid]] of you.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''We [[know]] all our lines so well, ah-ha, &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many times: &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] and time again, &lt;br /&gt; Line and line again.''&lt;/p&gt;
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 03:18, 28 July 2014 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2015
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;p&gt;''[[w:Yeti|You]] were playing in the snow &lt;br /&gt; You were banging on the [[doors]] &lt;br /&gt; You climbed up on the roof &lt;br /&gt; Roof of the [[world]] … ''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''We found your footprints in the [[snow]] &lt;br /&gt; We brushed them all away…''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''You're the wild man.''&lt;/p&gt;
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:21, 29 July 2015 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2016
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''Soon it will be the phase of the [[moon]] &lt;br&gt; When [[people]] tune in. &lt;br&gt; Every [[girl]] [[knows]] about the punctual blues, &lt;br&gt; But who's to know the [[power]] behind our [[moves]]? &lt;br /&gt; A day of [[coincidence]] with the [[radio]] &lt;br&gt; And a [[word]] that won't go away &lt;br&gt; We know what they're [[all]] going to [[say]] &lt;br&gt; &quot;G&quot; arrives, funny, had a [[feeling]] he was on his way &lt;br&gt; … &lt;br&gt; We raise our hats to the [[strange]] [[phenomena]]. &lt;br&gt; [[Soul]]-[[birds]] of a feather flock together.''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:11, 29 July 2016 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2017
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''[[Wyrd|We let]] the [[weirdness]] in.''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:07, 29 July 2017 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2018
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; The [[great]] thing about [[art]] on any level is that it can speak to [[all]] [[people]] if it’s achieved properly. When I’ve heard a piece of [[music]] or seen a [[painting]] that moves me, it gives me something. That’s such an incredibly special [[experience]]. I have intentions as a writer, but people — when they’re listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a [[song]]’s about something it isn’t. That doesn’t matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it’s great.
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:00, 30 July 2018 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2019
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''Them [[Significance|heavy]] [[people]] hit me in a soft spot. &lt;br /&gt; Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, [[Responsibility|rolling the ball to me]]. &lt;br /&gt; They open [[doorways]] that [[Belief|I thought]] were shut for good. &lt;br /&gt; They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]]. &lt;br /&gt; They [[Strength|build up]] my [[body]], break me [[emotionally]]. &lt;br /&gt; It's nearly killing me, but what a [[lovely]] [[feeling]]!''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- ''They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.&lt;br&gt;They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]].&lt;br&gt;They build up my body, break me emotionally.&lt;br&gt;It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:44, 29 July 2019 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; but extended this slightly for context. 2019·07·29
* 2 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2020
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''The [[civilised]] keep alive &lt;br /&gt; The territorial [[war]]…'' &lt;br /&gt; ''Erase the race that claim the place &lt;br /&gt; And say we dig for ore, &lt;br /&gt; Or dangle [[devils]] in a bottle &lt;br /&gt; And push them from the pull of the Bush.&lt;br /&gt; … &lt;br /&gt; See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:58, 29 July 2020 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2021
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; A picture of you, a picture of you in uniform &lt;br /&gt; Standing with your head held high &lt;br /&gt; Hot down to the floor but it couldn't be you &lt;br /&gt; It couldn't be you, it's a picture of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:51, 29 July 2021 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2022 : ''[[July 30|Rank or add further suggestions…]]''
----
&lt;noinclude&gt;
Ranking system:
:4 : '''Excellent''' - should definitely be used.
:3 : '''Very Good''' - strong desire to see it used.
:2 : '''Good''' - some desire to see it used.
:1 : '''Acceptable''' - but with no particular desire to see it used.
:0 : '''Not acceptable''' - not appropriate for use as a quote of the day.
----
----
== Suggestions ==

''The first time that I appeared on stage, it scared me to death. I really didn't know what all the yelling was about. I didn't realize that my body was moving. It's a natural thing to me. So to the manager backstage I said, 'What'd I do? What'd I do?' And he said, 'Whatever it is, go back and do it again.
&lt;br&gt;- [[Elvis Presley]] -'' Interview (March/April, 1972)&lt;br&gt;
* 3 --[[User:Revera|Revera]] 09:47, 26 July 2008 (UTC) (30 July 1954 was the date Elvis Presley made his debut as a public performer).
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:09, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 22:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:49, 29 July 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----
I want to be in a position where I can function as a human being. Even more so now where you've got this sort of truly silly preoccupation with celebrities. Just because somebody's been in an ad on TV, so what? Who gives a toss? ~ [[Kate Bush]]
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC)
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----

''You and me on the bobbing knee.&lt;br&gt;Didn't we cry at that old mythology he'd read!&lt;br&gt;I will come home again, but not until&lt;br&gt;The sun and the moon meet on yon hill.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~&lt;!-- &quot;The sun and the moon shall dance on the green &lt;br&gt; That night when I come hame.&quot; --&gt;
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC)
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----

''How I'm moved. &lt;br&gt; How you move me &lt;br&gt; With your beauty's potency.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.
* 2 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----

''My terrible fear of dying&lt;br&gt;No longer plays with me,&lt;br&gt;for now I know that I'm needed&lt;br&gt;For the symphony.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.
* 2 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----

I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind. ~ [[Emily Brontë]]
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 04:05, 24 July 2013 (UTC) with a lean toward 4
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 03:18, 28 July 2014 (UTC) with a lean toward 3 or even a 4 eventually.
----
I lingered round them, under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells; listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass; and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth. ~ [[Emily Brontë]]
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 04:05, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 03:18, 28 July 2014 (UTC)
----
The thing that irks me most is this shattered prison, after all. I’m tired, tired of being enclosed here. I’m wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there; not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart; but really with it, and in it. ~ [[Emily Brontë]]
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 04:05, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 03:18, 28 July 2014 (UTC) with a lean toward 3.
----

{{quote of the day
| quote = When you think of the [[visual]] [[style]], when you think of the visual [[language]] of a film there tends to be a [[natural]] separation of the visual style and the narrative elements, but with the [[great]], whether it is [[Stanley Kubrick]], [[w:Terrence Malick|Terrence Malick]] or [[Alfred Hitchcock|Hitchcock]] what you're seeing is inseparable, a [[vital]] relationship between the images and the [[story]] he's telling.
| author = Christopher Nolan
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:38, 4 April 2016 (UTC) with a lean toward 4, but more likely than not there is much by [[Kate Bush]] I will long find preferable.

----

Two-thirds of the Earth lies beneath more than 1,000 feet of water. [http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/cosmos-a-spacetime-odyssey/videos/a-world-without-sunlight/ It's a vast and largely unexplored frontier.] . . . This is the longest submarine mountain range in the world, the Atlantic Mid-Ocean Ridge. It wraps around our globe like the seam on a baseball. The past is another planet, but most of us don't really know this one. ~ In commemoration of the 30 July 1920 birth of [[w:Marie Tharp |Marie Tharp]], from the [[Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey#Ninth Episode: The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth |ninth episode]] of the science documentary television series ''[[Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey |Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey'' (2014)]].
*4 [[User:Pithy Francoln|Pithy Francoln]] ([[User talk:Pithy Francoln|talk]]) 16:08, 13 October 2016 (UTC)
* 1 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:07, 29 July 2017 (UTC) if honoring Tharp, would prefer to quote her or at least a quote specifically about her.

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = ''They say that the devil is a charming man &lt;br /&gt; And just like you, I bet he can dance''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:51, 29 July 2021 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = It doesn't hurt me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to feel how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with God, &lt;br /&gt; And I'd get him to swap our places, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that road, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that hill, &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that building.
| author = Kate Bush
}}
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:59, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

----

&lt;!-- interwiki start --&gt;

&lt;!-- interwiki end --&gt;
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>comoqu85etu7nqwsjr8og9a3gl7ynrw</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149248</id>
      <parentid>3149209</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T01:29:07Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>updates</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="21724" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div id=&quot;30&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 0em; border: thin solid black; padding: 3px; background-color: #CFE5FF; font: bold 14pt sans-serif;&quot;&gt;[[Category:Days]][[w:July 30|July 30]]&lt;/div&gt; &lt;noinclude&gt;'''Quotes of the day''' from previous years:&lt;/noinclude&gt;

* On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. ~ [[Charles Babbage]]
:* selected by [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]]

; 2004
: I just know that something good is going to happen. I don't know when — but just saying it could even make it happen. ~ [[Kate Bush]] (born 30 July 1958)
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2005
: ''No coward soul is mine, &lt;br&gt; No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere: &lt;br&gt; I see Heaven's glories shine, &lt;br&gt; And Faith shines equal, arming me from Fear.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Emily Brontë]] ~ (born 30 July 1818)
:* proposed by [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]]

; 2006
: ''What am I singing? &lt;br&gt; A song of seeds &lt;br&gt;The food of love. &lt;br&gt; Eat the music.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2007
: ''Just being alive&lt;br&gt;It can really hurt.&lt;br&gt;These moments given&lt;br&gt;Are a gift from time.&lt;br&gt;Just let us try&lt;br&gt;To give these moments back&lt;br&gt;To those we love&lt;br&gt;To those who will survive.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:11, 29 July 2007 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2008
: ''I don't know you, &lt;br&gt; And you don't know me. &lt;br&gt; It is this that brings us together.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:49, 29 July 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2009
:&lt;p&gt;''Moving stranger, &lt;br&gt; Does it really matter, &lt;br&gt; As long as you're not afraid to feel?''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Touch me, hold me. &lt;br&gt; How my open arms ache! &lt;br&gt; Try to fall for me.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;~ [[Kate Bush]] ~&lt;/p&gt;
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 13:15, 27 July 2009 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 21:59, 29 July 2005 (UTC) &lt;/s&gt;Or perhaps just the first three lines... I've varying preferences on it, but tend to slightly prefer the longer version.
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 14:49, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2010
:&lt;p&gt;''With wide-embracing love&lt;br&gt;Thy Spirit animates eternal years,&lt;br&gt; Pervades and broods above,&lt;br&gt;Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates, and rears.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Though earth and moon were gone,&lt;br&gt;And suns and universes ceased to be,&lt;br&gt; And Thou wert left alone,&lt;br&gt;Every existence would exist in Thee.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''There is not room for Death,&lt;br&gt;Nor atom that his might could render void:&lt;br&gt;Thou —THOU art Being and Breath,&lt;br&gt;And what THOU art may never be destroyed.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Emily Brontë]] ~&lt;/p&gt;
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 22:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 21:59, 29 July 2005 (UTC) with a VERY strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 14:49, 24 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2011
: ''I love the whirling of the dervishes. &lt;br&gt; I love the beauty of rare innocence. &lt;br&gt; You don't need no crystal ball, &lt;br&gt; Don't fall for a magic wand. &lt;br&gt; We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2012
: {{quote of the day
| quote = '' Nobody knows about my [[man]]. &lt;br&gt; They think he's [[Loss|lost]] on [[Lost Horizon (film)|some horizon]]. &lt;br&gt; And suddenly I find [[Self|myself]] &lt;br&gt; Listening to a man I've never [[Knowledge|known]] before, &lt;br&gt; Telling me about the [[sea]], &lt;br&gt; All his love, 'til [[Eternity]].&lt;br&gt; Ooh, he's here again, &lt;br&gt; The man with the [[child]] in his [[eyes]].''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:09, 26 July 2012 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2013
{{quote of the day
| quote =&lt;p&gt;''[[Vain]] are the thousand creeds &lt;br&gt; That move men's [[hearts]]: unutterably vain; &lt;br&gt; Worthless as withered weeds, &lt;br&gt;Or idle froth amid the boundless main,''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''To waken [[doubt]] in one &lt;br&gt; Holding so fast by Thine [[infinity]]; &lt;br&gt; So surely anchored on &lt;br&gt; The stedfast rock of [[immortality]].''&lt;/p&gt;
| author = Emily Brontë
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- Vain are the thousand creeds that move men's hearts: unutterably vain... ~ [[Emily Brontë]] (date of birth)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 01:30, 29 July 2013 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 22:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC) * 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:11, 29 July 2007 (UTC) // 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 21:59, 29 July 2005 (UTC) &lt;/s&gt;
: Though I have long loved that line in Brontë's poem, since early childhood, and I have thought the following lines somewhat strained or awkward poetically, I believe I would prefer to use them for context, if this line were used for QOTD:
::&lt;p&gt;Vain are the thousand creeds &lt;br&gt; That move men's hearts: unutterably vain; &lt;br&gt; Worthless as withered weeds, &lt;br&gt;Or idle froth amid the boundless main, &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; To waken doubt in one &lt;br&gt; Holding so fast by Thine infinity; &lt;br&gt; So surely anchored on &lt;br&gt; The stedfast rock of immortality.&lt;/p&gt;
* 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 14:49, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 15:37, 21 July 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2014
{{quote of the day
| quote =&lt;p&gt;''We're [[all]] [[alone]] on the stage [[tonight]]. &lt;br /&gt; We've been told; we're not [[afraid]] of you.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''We [[know]] all our lines so well, ah-ha, &lt;br /&gt; We've said them so many times: &lt;br /&gt; [[Time]] and time again, &lt;br /&gt; Line and line again.''&lt;/p&gt;
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 03:18, 28 July 2014 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2015
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;p&gt;''[[w:Yeti|You]] were playing in the snow &lt;br /&gt; You were banging on the [[doors]] &lt;br /&gt; You climbed up on the roof &lt;br /&gt; Roof of the [[world]] … ''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''We found your footprints in the [[snow]] &lt;br /&gt; We brushed them all away…''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''You're the wild man.''&lt;/p&gt;
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:21, 29 July 2015 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2016
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''Soon it will be the phase of the [[moon]] &lt;br&gt; When [[people]] tune in. &lt;br&gt; Every [[girl]] [[knows]] about the punctual blues, &lt;br&gt; But who's to know the [[power]] behind our [[moves]]? &lt;br /&gt; A day of [[coincidence]] with the [[radio]] &lt;br&gt; And a [[word]] that won't go away &lt;br&gt; We know what they're [[all]] going to [[say]] &lt;br&gt; &quot;G&quot; arrives, funny, had a [[feeling]] he was on his way &lt;br&gt; … &lt;br&gt; We raise our hats to the [[strange]] [[phenomena]]. &lt;br&gt; [[Soul]]-[[birds]] of a feather flock together.''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:11, 29 July 2016 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2017
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''[[Wyrd|We let]] the [[weirdness]] in.''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:07, 29 July 2017 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2018
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; The [[great]] thing about [[art]] on any level is that it can speak to [[all]] [[people]] if it’s achieved properly. When I’ve heard a piece of [[music]] or seen a [[painting]] that moves me, it gives me something. That’s such an incredibly special [[experience]]. I have intentions as a writer, but people — when they’re listening to a track — will take from it what they interpret. Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a [[song]]’s about something it isn’t. That doesn’t matter. If it speaks to them and they get something positive from it, it’s great.
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:00, 30 July 2018 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2019
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''Them [[Significance|heavy]] [[people]] hit me in a soft spot. &lt;br /&gt; Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, [[Responsibility|rolling the ball to me]]. &lt;br /&gt; They open [[doorways]] that [[Belief|I thought]] were shut for good. &lt;br /&gt; They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]]. &lt;br /&gt; They [[Strength|build up]] my [[body]], break me [[emotionally]]. &lt;br /&gt; It's nearly killing me, but what a [[lovely]] [[feeling]]!''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- ''They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.&lt;br&gt;They read me [[G. I. Gurdjieff|Gurdjieff]] and [[Jesus|Jesu]].&lt;br&gt;They build up my body, break me emotionally.&lt;br&gt;It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:44, 29 July 2019 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; but extended this slightly for context. 2019·07·29
* 2 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2020
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''The [[civilised]] keep alive &lt;br /&gt; The territorial [[war]]…'' &lt;br /&gt; ''Erase the race that claim the place &lt;br /&gt; And say we dig for ore, &lt;br /&gt; Or dangle [[devils]] in a bottle &lt;br /&gt; And push them from the pull of the Bush.&lt;br /&gt; … &lt;br /&gt; See the [[sun]] set in the [[hand]] of the [[man]].''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:58, 29 July 2020 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2021
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''Well, I couldn't [[see]] what was [[Future|to be]] &lt;br /&gt; So I just stood there [[laughing]] &lt;br /&gt; A picture of you, a picture of you in uniform &lt;br /&gt; Standing with your head held high &lt;br /&gt; Hot down to the floor but it couldn't be you &lt;br /&gt; It couldn't be you, it's a picture of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:51, 29 July 2021 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2022
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''It doesn't [[hurt]] me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to [[feel]] how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to [[know]] that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with [[God]], &lt;br /&gt; And I'd get him to swap our [[places]], &lt;br /&gt; Be [[running]] up that [[road]], &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that [[hill]], &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that [[building]].''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:59, 29 July 2022 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2023 : ''[[July 30|Rank or add further suggestions…]]''
----
&lt;noinclude&gt;
&lt;!-- ----
'''Quotes by people born this day, already used as QOTD:''' --&gt; 
----
{{QOTD Ranking}}
----
----
== Suggestions ==

''The first time that I appeared on stage, it scared me to death. I really didn't know what all the yelling was about. I didn't realize that my body was moving. It's a natural thing to me. So to the manager backstage I said, 'What'd I do? What'd I do?' And he said, 'Whatever it is, go back and do it again.
&lt;br&gt;- [[Elvis Presley]] -'' Interview (March/April, 1972)&lt;br&gt;
* 3 --[[User:Revera|Revera]] 09:47, 26 July 2008 (UTC) (30 July 1954 was the date Elvis Presley made his debut as a public performer).
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:09, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 22:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 23:49, 29 July 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----
I want to be in a position where I can function as a human being. Even more so now where you've got this sort of truly silly preoccupation with celebrities. Just because somebody's been in an ad on TV, so what? Who gives a toss? ~ [[Kate Bush]]
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC)
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----

''You and me on the bobbing knee.&lt;br&gt;Didn't we cry at that old mythology he'd read!&lt;br&gt;I will come home again, but not until&lt;br&gt;The sun and the moon meet on yon hill.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~&lt;!-- &quot;The sun and the moon shall dance on the green &lt;br&gt; That night when I come hame.&quot; --&gt;
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC)
* 1 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----

''How I'm moved. &lt;br&gt; How you move me &lt;br&gt; With your beauty's potency.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.
* 2 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----

''My terrible fear of dying&lt;br&gt;No longer plays with me,&lt;br&gt;for now I know that I'm needed&lt;br&gt;For the symphony.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Kate Bush]] ~
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 23:42, 22 July 2011 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.
* 2 //[[User:Gbern3|Gbern3]] ([[User talk:Gbern3|talk]]) 14:05, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

----

I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind. ~ [[Emily Brontë]]
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 04:05, 24 July 2013 (UTC) with a lean toward 4
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 03:18, 28 July 2014 (UTC) with a lean toward 3 or even a 4 eventually.
----
I lingered round them, under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells; listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass; and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth. ~ [[Emily Brontë]]
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 04:05, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 03:18, 28 July 2014 (UTC)
----
The thing that irks me most is this shattered prison, after all. I’m tired, tired of being enclosed here. I’m wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there; not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart; but really with it, and in it. ~ [[Emily Brontë]]
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 04:05, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
* 2 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 03:18, 28 July 2014 (UTC) with a lean toward 3.
----

{{quote of the day
| quote = When you think of the [[visual]] [[style]], when you think of the visual [[language]] of a film there tends to be a [[natural]] separation of the visual style and the narrative elements, but with the [[great]], whether it is [[Stanley Kubrick]], [[w:Terrence Malick|Terrence Malick]] or [[Alfred Hitchcock|Hitchcock]] what you're seeing is inseparable, a [[vital]] relationship between the images and the [[story]] he's telling.
| author = Christopher Nolan
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:38, 4 April 2016 (UTC) with a lean toward 4, but more likely than not there is much by [[Kate Bush]] I will long find preferable.

----

Two-thirds of the Earth lies beneath more than 1,000 feet of water. [http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/cosmos-a-spacetime-odyssey/videos/a-world-without-sunlight/ It's a vast and largely unexplored frontier.] . . . This is the longest submarine mountain range in the world, the Atlantic Mid-Ocean Ridge. It wraps around our globe like the seam on a baseball. The past is another planet, but most of us don't really know this one. ~ In commemoration of the 30 July 1920 birth of [[w:Marie Tharp |Marie Tharp]], from the [[Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey#Ninth Episode: The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth |ninth episode]] of the science documentary television series ''[[Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey |Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey'' (2014)]].
*4 [[User:Pithy Francoln|Pithy Francoln]] ([[User talk:Pithy Francoln|talk]]) 16:08, 13 October 2016 (UTC)
* 1 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:07, 29 July 2017 (UTC) if honoring Tharp, would prefer to quote her or at least a quote specifically about her.

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = ''They say that the devil is a charming man &lt;br /&gt; And just like you, I bet he can dance''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:51, 29 July 2021 (UTC)

----

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&lt;noinclude&gt;{{wikipedia|The Simpsons (season 7)}}
{{Otherusesof|The Simpsons}}

'''''[[The Simpsons]]''''' Season 7&lt;/noinclude&gt;

==''[[w:Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)|Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)]]''==
:''[Smithers sits in a confessional.]''
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Father, I'm not a Catholic, but... I tried to march in the St. Patrick's Day parade... anyway, I've got a rather large sin to confess. I'm the one who... ''[breaks down sobbing]'' who shot Mr. Burns!
:''[Chief Wiggum opens the screen and cocks his pistol.]''
:'''[[w:Clancy Wiggum|Chief Wiggum]]''': That's all I needed to hear. Boy, this thing works great.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Eddie and Lou interrogate Moe with a [[w:polygraph|lie detector]].]''
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in The Simpsons#Eddie and Lou|Eddie]]''': Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
:'''[[w:Moe Szyslak|Moe]]''': No. ''[buzz, red light]'' All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him! ''[ding, green light]''
:'''Eddie''': Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
:'''Moe''': Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. ''[buzz]'' ''A'' date. ''[buzz]'' Dinner with friends. ''[buzz]'' Dinner alone. ''[buzz]'' Watching TV alone. ''[buzz]'' All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog! ''[buzz]'' ... ''[hangs head]'' Sears catalog. ''[ding]'' Now, would you unhook this already, please?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! ''[buzz]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Homer is pointing Chief Wiggum's gun at Mr. Burns's forehead]''
:'''Homer''': Say it, Burns! Say I never shot you! ...before.
:'''Mr. Burns''': ''[unaware]'' Shot? By you my primitive friend, I'm afraid not. Your kind has neither the cranial capacity nor the opposable digits to correctly operate a firearm. The one who shot me was...''[scans the crowd; screams]'' MAGGIE SIMPSON!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Montgomery Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Officers, arrest the baby!
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Yeah, right, pops. No jury in the world is gonna convict a baby... maybe Texas.

==''[[w:Radioactive Man (The Simpsons episode)|Radioactive Man]]''==
:''[Executive producer is looking through Variety magazine to scout out a potential location to film the Radioactive Man movie. He sees full page colorful ads that say &quot;Film New York&quot;, &quot;Film Utah&quot; and &quot;Film Texas&quot; before coming to a small section that says &quot;Flim Springfield&quot;]''
:'''Executive producer''': Wow, look at that ad! This town ''must'' be hot. They don't need a big ad or even correct spelling! ''[buzzes his secretary]'' Get me two tickets to the state Springfield is in!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': [[George Burns]] was right. Show business is a hideous bitch goddess.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': Cheer up, Bart. Milhouse is still going to need a true friend. Someone to tell him he's great. Someone to rub lotion on him. Someone he can hurl whiskey bottles at when he's feeling low.
:'''Bart''': You're right, Lis, I can suck up to him. Like the religious people suck up to God.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Chief Wiggum has given Milhouse's scent to a pack of vicious-looking police dogs. They bolt off, barking and snarling aggressively]'' 
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Ok, we can all stop worrying now. These dogs never fail. 
:'''Kirk Van Houten''': ''[exchanges a worried glance with Luanne]'' But... will they just find Milhouse, or will they find him and kill him?
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Well, they'll... when they find him, they'll um... they'll humm...um...um...um...''[murmuring so quietly he can barely be heard]'' ...bust him... 
:'''Kirk Van Houten''': ''[frowns]'' Uh, excuse me, you didn't answer me. You just trailed off.
:'''Chief Wiggum''': ''[rubs back of neck]'' Yeah. Yeah, I did kinda trail off there, didn't I? ''[laughs nervously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainer Wolfcastle''': ''(as he's hit by a wave of sulfuric acid)'' MY EYES!! The goggles do nothing!!

==''[[w:Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily|Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily]]''==
:''[Homer and Marge enjoy a day at the spa, lounging in a sauna]'' 
:'''Marge''': This is soooo relaxing. Homie, this is a wonderful idea.
:'''Homer''': Hehehe, yeah. If that Mafia guy weren't staring at us, I'd take off my towel.
:'''Mafia Guy''': ''[off-camera]'' Aw don't mind-a me. Look, I do it first.
:''[The sound of a towel dropping to the floor is heard. Homer and Marge stare uncomfortably]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nelson''': ''[dressed up for school pictures]'' I feel like punching myself!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Social Welfare Guy''': ''[to Bart, Lisa and Maggie]'' Now just relax, kids. All were doing is taking you to… ''[ominously]'' a foster home!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart and Lisa have been taken by Social Welfare and are taken to the Flanders' house.]''
:'''Homer''': We leave you the kids for three hours and the county takes them away?!
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Okay, don't panic! To find Flanders, you just have to think like Flanders...
:'''Homer's brain''': ''I'm a big four-eyed lame-o. I wear the same stupid sweater everyday at--''
:'''Homer''': The Springfield River!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Wow, Dad, you took a baptismal for me. How do you feel?
:'''Homer''': ''[blissfully]'' Oh, Bartholomew, I feel like [[w:St. Augustine of Hippo|St. Augustine of Hippo]] after his conversion by [[w:Ambrose of Milan|Ambrose of Milan]].
:'''[[w:Ned Flanders|Ned]]''': Wait! Homer, what did you just say?
:'''Homer''': ''(nastily)'' '''I SAID, &quot;SHUT YOUR UGLY FACE, FLANDERS!!&quot;'''
:'''Ned''': Oh, fair enough.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ned Flanders''': ''[greeting Bart and Lisa]'' Hi-dilly ho, neglect-a-renos!

==''[[w:Bart Sells His Soul|Bart Sells His Soul]]''==
:'''[[w:Reverend Timothy Lovejoy|Reverend Lovejoy]]''': I know one of you is responsible for this, so repeat after me: If I withhold the truth may I go straight to hell, where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola...
:'''[[w:Ralph Wiggum|Ralph Wiggum]]''': ''[scared]'' Where fiery demons will punch me in the back...
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': ''[nonchalant]'' Where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers...
:'''[[w:Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]]''': ''[clearly nervous]'' Where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds...
:''[A raven outside crows menacingly.]''
:'''Milhouse''': Bart did it! That Bart, right there!
:'''Bart''': ''[angry]'' Milhouse!
:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': Milhouse, you did the right thing. Bart, come with me for punishment. ''[grabs Bart, then reaches back for Milhouse]'' You too, snitchy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart and Milhouse start cleaning the organ pipes as Reverend Lovejoy leaves]''
:'''Bart''': You shank! How could you tell on me?!
:'''Milhouse''': Well, I didn't want hungry birds pecking my soul forever.
:'''Bart''': &quot;Soul&quot;?! Come on, Milhouse, there's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogeyman or [[Michael Jackson]].
:'''Milhouse''': But every religion says there's a soul, Bart. Why would they lie? What would they have to gain? ''[see Lovejoy using the coin counter with collection money]''
:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': I don't hear scrubbing!
:'''Bart''': Well, if your soul's real, where is it? ''[Milhouse puts his hand on his chest]''
:'''Milhouse''': It's kinda in here... and when you sneeze, that's your soul trying to escape. Saying &quot;God bless you&quot; crams it back in. And when you die, it squirms out and flies away!
:'''Bart''': Uh-huh. What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean?
:'''Milhouse''': Oh, it can swim. It's even got wheels, in case you die in the desert and it has to drive to the cemetery.
:'''Bart''': ''[groans]'' How can someone with glasses that thick be so stupid? Listen, you don't have a soul. ''I'' don't have a soul. There's no such thing as a soul!
:'''Milhouse''': Fine. If you're so sure about that, why don't you sell your soul to me?
:'''Bart''': ''[pause]'' How much ya got?
:'''Milhouse''': Five bucks.
:'''Bart''': ..Deal.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': ''[watching &quot;Itchy &amp; Scratchy&quot;]'' I know that's funny, but I'm just not laughing.
:'''Lisa''': Hmmm, [[Pablo Neruda]] said &quot;Laughter is the language of the soul.&quot;
:'''Bart''': I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Moe''': The deep fryer's here! I got it used from the Navy. You can flash-fry a buffalo in 40 seconds.
:'''Homer''': Forty seconds?! But I want it ''now''!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Pieces of Uncle Moe's family feedbag are being taken away]''
:'''Moe''': Get rid of it all.
:'''Barney''': Hey Moe, you could've at least kept the fire extinguishers.
:'''Moe''': Nah, too many bad memories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nana Van Houten''': A caller at this hour? You dial nine-one, then when I say so, dial one again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Milhouse''': I'm really sorry... I kind of traded your soul to the guy at the comic book store. But look! I got some cool pogs: Alf pogs! Remember Alf? He's back... in pog form!
:'''Bart''': You traded my soul for pogs?! ''[runs out screaming]'' Noooooooo!
:'''Nana Van Houten''': Close that door, you're letting the heat out!
:'''Kirk Van Houten''': Shut up, shut up, shut up!

==''[[w:Lisa the Vegetarian|Lisa the Vegetarian]]''==
:''[the family is having lamb chops for dinner and Lisa has discovered she can't eat them]''
:'''Lisa''': What's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?
:'''Bart''': This one spent two hours in the broiler.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer and Bart are chasing the runaway pig for the barbecue. It rolls through some bushes]''
:'''Homer''': It's just a little dirty, it's still good, it's still good!
:''[the pig passes through traffic, hits a guardrail and falls into a canal with toxic waste drums in it]''
:'''Homer''': It's just a little slimy, it's still good, it's still good!
:''[the pig gets caught in the dam spillway. Water floods behind it until the built-up pressure shoots it through the spillway and rocketing into the distance]''
:'''Homer''': It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!
:'''Bart''': It's gone.
:'''Homer''': I know.
:''[in Mr. Burns' office]''
:'''Mr. Burns''': You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage... when pigs fly!
:''[they both laugh. A moment later the pig sails past the window]''
:'''Smithers''': Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?
:'''Mr. Burns''': No, I'd still prefer not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lisa is using the riding lawnmower to push the barbecue pig out of the yard.]''
:'''Marge''': Bart, no!
:'''Bart''': ''[standing next to her]'' What?
:'''Marge''': Sorry, force of habit. Lisa, no! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
:'''Marge''': ''[sighs]'' Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
:'''Lisa''': Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
:'''Bart''': You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup, homeboy?
:'''Homer''': Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
:'''Marge''': Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
:'''Homer''': Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
:'''Marge''': Homer, you're not-not talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
:'''Homer''': Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
:'''Bart''': Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
:'''Homer''': Bart, go to your room!
:'''Lisa''': Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
:'''Homer''': ''[turns red in anger and gets frustrated]'' I don't need any serving suggestions from ''you''! You barbecue-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all!
:'''Lisa''': ''[angrily]'' THAT'S IT! I can't live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore. I am OUT OF HERE!
:''[Lisa leaves the house and slams the door]''
:'''Homer''': THAT'S IT! GO TO YOUR ROOM!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[later in Storytown Village]''
:'''Father Bear''': &quot;''Somebody's been sleeping in my bed.''&quot;
:'''Mother Bear''': ''&quot;''Somebody's been sleeping in my bed.''&quot;(distorted due to technical problems)''
:'''Baby Bear''': &quot;''Somebody's been sleeping in my bed.''&quot;
:'''Abe''': ''[gets up]'' Well, I'm sorry, but it was 150 degrees in the car!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[at Skinner's office]''
:'''Skinner''': Uh-oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.
:'''Willie''': I WARNED YA!! Didn't I warn ya!? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During &quot;The Meat Council Presents: Meat and You: Partners in Freedom&quot;, Number 3F03 in the &quot;Resistance is Useless&quot; series.]'''
:'''Jimmy''': Mr. McClure, I have a ''crazy'' friend who says it's wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?
:'''[[w:Troy McClure|Troy McClure]]''': ''[laughing]'' No, Jimmy, just ignorant. You see, your crazy friend never heard of the food chain. Just ask this scientitian.
:'''Scientist''': Uhhh...
:'''Troy McClure''': He'll tell you that in nature one creature invariably eats another to survive. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
:'''Jimmy''': Wow, Mr. McClure, I was a Grade A Moron to ever question eating meat.
:'''Troy McClure''': Ha Ha Ha Ha... Yes you were, Jimmy. Yes you were. ''[playfully rubs Jimmy's head]''
:'''Jimmy''': You're hurting me...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lisa is about to dissect a worm in class]'''
:'''Worm''': ''[in a bleating, lamb-like voice]'' Lisa! What did I ever do to you? 
:'''Lisa''': Why does it talk like a lamb?

==''[[w:Treehouse of Horror VI|Treehouse of Horror VI]]''==
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': ''(laughs)'' I've got your doughnut, Lard Lad! And what are ''you'' going to do about it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The [[w:Pep Boys|Zip Boys]] mascots come to life]''
:'''Old Jewish Man''': Fellas! Where are you going at this hour? ''[their heads, being so huge, fall to the ground under their own weight and they drag them away]'' Hey! Don't scratch up them heads!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Seeing a very tall man Chief Wiggum pulls out his gun and shoots him]''
:'''Wiggum''': Aw, they're not so tough.
:'''Lou''': Um...Chief, that wasn't a monster. That was the captain of the high school basketball team.
:'''Wiggum''': Uh, yeah, well, he was turning into a monster, though.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Skinner''': Wheel him out quietly. It's best the children don't see me. ''[Lunchlady Doris wheels Martin out, but Skinner's foot is on the sheet. The sheet is pulled off Martin, and the kids scream at his grotesquely frozen corpse]'' Oh, just get him out of there! ''[picks up the sheet]'' Not into the kindergarten! ''[kindergartners screams are heard]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': Bart, don't you realize what this means? The next time we fall asleep, we could die!
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Abe]]''': Eh, welcome to my world! ''[falls asleep]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer's Brain''': ''[as he enters the 3rd dimension] Oh, glory of glories. Oh, heavenly testament to the eternal majesty of God's creation.''
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Holy macaroni!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lard Lad's giant donut is in the middle of the Simpsons' living room, along with Homer lying in the center of it. The doorbell rings, and Homer is greeted by the angry face of Lard Lad]''
:'''Homer''': Hello? Yes? Oh...if you're looking for that giant donut, uh..Flanders has it. Just go smash open his house. ''[Homer closes the door as loud footsteps trail off]'' He came to life. Good for him. ''[smashing is heard as the screen shakes, and footsteps are heard hurriedly heading back to the Simpsons home. The doorbell rings, Homer answers and is greeted by the same angrier Lard Lad]''
:'''Ned''': ''[running in the background]'' Help me Lord!
:'''Homer''': I told you, Flanders has it! Or Moe. Go kill Moe.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer drives through an alley of Advertisements. Lardlad Donuts is Homer's Favorite]''
:'''Homer''': Ah, the Miracle Mile, where value wears a neon sombrero and there's not a single Church or Library to offend the Eye. There it is! The chain that put the &quot;fat&quot; in &quot;fat Southern Sheriffs&quot;.

===Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': ''[places a dollar on the counter]'' I'd like a colossal donut, please. Just like the one on the sign. ''[Homer is given a regular-sized donut]'' D'oh! Nuts... That's false advertising!
:'''Squeaky-Voiced Teen''': Sorry, sir. No refunds.
:'''Homer''': ''[slowly]'' I paid for a colossal donut, and I'm gonna get a colossal donut! (walks away)
:'''Squeaky-Voiced Teen''': You don't scare us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Radio Announcer''': Astronomers from Tacoma to Vladivostok have just reported an ionic disturbance in the vicinity of the Van Allen belt. Scientists are recommending that all necessary precautions be taken.
:'''Homer''': ''[scoffs]'' Eggheads… What do they know?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Homer puts the giant metal donut in his living room and drinks a beer on top of it in his underwear.]''
:'''Marge''': Homer! Where did you get that?
:'''Homer''': Get what?
:'''Marge''': That giant donut.
:'''Homer''': Well, I acquired it legally. You can be sure of that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kent Brockman''': ''[on TV]'' Good morning, everybody. Panic is gripping Springfield as giant advertising mascots rampage through the city. Perhaps it's part of some daring new ad campaign, but what new product could justify such carnage? ''[behind him, a poster of himself comes to life]'' A cleanser? A fat-free fudge cake that doesn't let you down in the flavor department like so many others? Would... ''[he gets grabbed by his giant doppelganger]'' D-ooh! Let me go...no! Stop! No!
:''[A &quot;Technical difficulties&quot; sign appears]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief Wiggum''': ''[after he shot what he thought was a monster]'' Eh, they're not so tough.
:'''Lou''': Um… Chief, that wasn't a monster; that was the captain of the high school basketball team.
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Uh, yeah... Well, he was turning into a monster, though.
''[At the Simpson house, the doorbell rings]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': Hello? Yes? ''[opens door and sees Lard Lad]'' Oh, it's you… Uh, if you're looking for that donut of yours, um… Flanders has it. Go smash open his house.
:''[Homer shuts the door as Lard Lad leaves.]''
:'''Homer''': ''[to himself]'' He came to life… Good for him.
:''[Loud smashing is heard, then loud thumping and the doorbell; Homer opens the door and sees Lard Lad again.]''
:''Ned'': ''[runs past]'' Help me, Lord!
:'''Homer''': I told you! Flanders has it! …Or Moe. Go kill Moe.
:'''Marge''': Homer! Give him the donut! Once he has it, it will be the end of all this horror!
:'''Homer''': Well, okay… If it will end horror…

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': ''[after Lard Lad continues destroying the town]'' Don't you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?
:'''Marge''': ''[thinks to herself]'' Sometimes...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': These monsters are destroying everything and everyone we hold dear! And you kids should have jackets on.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': If your advertising agency created all those giant characters, you must know how to stop them.
:'''Advertising Man''': Well sir, advertising is a funny thing. If people stop paying attention to it, pretty soon, it goes away.
:'''Lisa''': Like that old woman who couldn't find the beef?
:'''Advertising Man''': Exactly. If you stop paying attention to the monsters, they'll lose their powers.
:'''Lisa''': But people can't help looking at them. They're wrecking the town. ''[Out the window, the monsters wreck the town]''
:'''Advertising Man''': You know, maybe a jingle would help. ''[plays a piano arpeggio, sings]'' Don't watch the mon-- ''[plays another arpeggio]'' Don't watch the...monsters-s-s. ''[chuckles]'' Well, it'll sound a lot better coming out of Paul Anka.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Hey, Springfield! Are you suffering from the heartbreak of...Monster-itis? Then take a tip from Mr. Paul Anka!
:'''Paul Anka''': ''[singing]'' To stop these monsters 1-2-3, Here's a fresh new way that's trouble free, It's got Paul Anka's guarantee...
:'''Lisa''': ''[talking]'' Guarantee void in Tennessee.
:'''Paul Anka and Lisa''': ''[singing]'' Just don't look! Just don't look! Just don't look! Just don't look!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': It worked! They're all dead.
:'''Bart''': Well, except for chubsy-ubsy over there.
:''[everyone turns and gasps and Lard Lad tempts Homer with the giant donut]''
:'''Homer''': Mmm...sprinkles.
:'''Marge''': Homer! Stop looking.
:'''Lisa''': Don't make us poke your eyes out, Dad. ''[they drag him away]''
:'''Homer''': ''[groaning]'' Oh!
:''[Lard Lad collapses]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kent Brockman''': Even as I speak, the scourge of advertising could be heading toward your town! Lock your doors, bar your windows, because the next advertisement you see could destroy your house and eat your family!
:'''Homer''': We'll be right back.

===Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[In Bart's dream]''
Bart: OK, boy: catch the Frisbee. (Santa's Little Helper does so) Good catch, boy!
:'''Santa's Little Helper''': ''[taking the Frisbee from his mouth]'' Thanks, Bart. ''[throws it at him; it hits Bart in the face; Bart does a flip; &quot;NO SALE&quot; appears in his eyes and birds fly around his head]'' Oh, hard luck.
:''[Bart shakes his head to clear it, then spots Groundskeeper Willie dressed as Freddy Krueger, holding a rake]''
:'''Bart''': ''[screams as his eyes bulge out]''
:''[Groundskeeper Willie brandishes the rake; Bart holds up a &quot;Yipes!&quot; sign]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': Glad to rake your acquaintance. ''[laughs evilly; swipes at Bart, who wakes up yelling]''
:'''Bart''': ''[sighs]'' Ohh...it was only a dream. ''[sees the scrapes on his stomach and yells again]''
:'''Homer''': Bart! Is that you?
:'''Bart''': Yes!
:'''Homer''': Take out the garbage.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': ''[talking about his dream]'' And then he raked me across the chest! And the weirdest thing was, it was that school janitor who mysteriously disappeared: Groundskeeper Willie!
:'''Lisa''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, my God! Bart, Groundskeeper Willy was in my nightmare too! ''[holds open hand]'' But he got me with hedge clippers. ''[her hair is missing two spikes]''
:'''Nelson''': ''[gleaming]'' He ran his floor buffer over me.
:'''Principal Skinner''': ''[walking up, chuckling]'' Children, I couldn't help monitoring your conversation. There's no mystery about Willie. Why, he... simply disappeared. Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs. Krabappel''': Remember, class, the worse you do on this standardized test, the more funding the school gets. So don't knock yourselves out. You have three hours to...
:'''Martin''': Finished!
:'''Mrs. Krabappel''': ''[grunts]'' Then put your head down on your desk and sit quietly.
:'''Martin''': Ah, a duet of pleasures. ''[does so]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In Martin's dream, he's dressed as a wizard]''
:'''Martin''': I am the wondrous wizard of Latin! I am a dervish of declension and a conjurer of conjugation, with a million hit points and maximum charisma. ''[spots a blackboard with verbs written all over it]'' Aha! &quot;Morire&quot;: to die. &quot;Morit&quot;: he, she, or it dies.
:''[Groundskeeper Willie morphs out of the blackboard; Martin gasps]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': &quot;Moris&quot;: you die.
:'''Martin''': ''[screams and runs off]''
Groundskeeper Willie: (laughs) You've mastered a dead tongue, but can you handle a live one? ''[his tongue shoots out of his mouth, wraps around Martin, and squeezes him]''
:''[In class, Martin twists and screams, then collapses on the floor dead]''
:'''Nelson''': Ha-ha!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Principal Skinner''': ''[to Lunchlady Doris]'' Wheel him out quietly. It's best the children don't see. ''[Lunchlady Doris starts wheeling out the trolley]''
:''[The sheet which is stuck under Principal Skinner's foot, comes off]''
:'''Children''': ''[seeing Martin's dead body and scream]''
:'''Principal Skinner: Oh, just get it out of here. Not into the kindergarten!
:''[Kindergarteners scream from outside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Mom! Dad! Martin died at school today!
:'''Marge''': I don't see what that has to do with Groundskeeper Willie.
:'''Bart''': Umm… we didn't mention Groundskeeper Willie, Mom.
:'''Marge''': Kids, it's time we told you the true story and put your fears to rest. It's a story of murder and revenge from beyond the grave.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': ''[voice over]'' It all started on the 13th hour, of the 13th day, of the 13th month. We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased.
:'''Homer''': ''[shivering, looking at the calendar]'' Oh, lousy Smarch weather. ''[spies the thermostat with a note from Willy over it and reads it]'' &quot;Do not touch. Willie.&quot; Good advice! ''[cranks it]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Principal Skinner''': Our next budget item: $12 for doorknob repair.
:'''Parents''': Nay!
:''[A burning Groundskeeper Willie tries to escape, but the doorknob falls off]''
:'''Principal Skinner''': Recharge fire extinguishers? Now, this is a, uh, free service of the fire department...
:'''Parents''': Nay!
:'''Homer''': Nay.
:''[Groundskeeper Willie tries to use the fire extinguisher, but it's empty; he breaks out of the furnace room and runs into the classroom]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': ''[still on fire]'' Help! Please help me!
:'''Principal Skinner''': Willie, please! Mr. Van Houten has the floor.
:'''Kirk Van Houten''': Er, I, for one, would like to see the cafeteria menus in advance so parents can adjust their dinner menus accordingly. I don't like the idea of Milhouse having 2 spaghetti meals in one day.
:''[Groundskeeper Willie explodes into flame and screams for a few seconds; the parents turn to watch]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': ''[looking like a skeleton]'' You'll pay for this...with your children's blood!
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Oh, right. How are you going to get them? Skeleton power?
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': I'll strike where you cannot protect them... in their dreams!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Bart! Do you realize what this means? The next time we fall asleep, we could die!
:'''Grampa''': Heh! Welcome to my world! ''[falls asleep and snores]''
:''[Bart and Lisa try hard to stay awake that night. Lisa gives Maggie a Buzz Cola to drink while the three children watch &quot;Asian Market Wrapup.&quot;]''
:'''TV Announcer''': There's a volcano waiting to erupt in the Pacific Rim. Its name: medium-term convertible debentures.
:'''Lisa''': It's no use, Bart. We can't stay up forever.
:'''Bart''': You're right. The only thing left to do is go into my dream and force Willie into a final showdown. You stay awake, and if it looks like I'm in trouble, wake me up.
:'''Lisa''': OK. But promise you won't be grouchy.
:'''Bart''': Hey, Lawn Boy! You missed a spot! ''[motions to the sandbox]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': When I'm done with you, they'll have to do a compost-mortem!

===Homer3 (Homer Cubed)===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': ''[In echo voice]'' Hello? Can anybody hear me?
:'''Marge''': Homer, where are you?
:'''Homer''': Uhhh... I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am!
:'''Marge''': Do you see towels? If you see towels, you're probably in the linen closet again.
:'''Homer''': Just a second! ... No, it's a place I've never been before!
:'''Patty''': Heh, the shower! ''[Patty and Selma laugh]''
:'''Homer''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Well, where's my Dad?
:'''Frink''': Well, it should be obvious to even the most dim-witted individual who holds an advanced degree in hyperbolic topology, n'gee, that Homer Simpson has stumbled into... the third di-mension.
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Enough of your borax, Poindexter! A man's life is at stake. We need action!
:''[Wiggum takes out his gun and fires into the wall]''
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Take that, you lousy dimension!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': That does it! I'm going in there!
:'''Marge''': Bart! No!!
:''[Bart runs into the dimension, but Marge catches him and fails. He keeps running until he turns 3D too and looks around]''
:'''Bart''': Cool man! 
:'''[the camera rotates and zooms out into a bird's-eye view of the green grid, Homer is nearing the edge of the green grid]'''
:'''Homer''': Oh my God! I'm gonna be sucked into a black hole! I'm gonna be sucked into oblivion! And what's gonna become of me of the other side? I don't know!
:'''Bart''': I'll save you, dad. 
:'''[Bart climbs onto the XYZ street sign]'''
:'''Bart''': I can't get any closer. You'll have to jump!
:'''Homer''': Piece of cake, son.
:'''[runs into a hole, breaks into pieces]'''
:'''Homer''': Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap--
:'''Bart''': Aaaaaaaaah! 
:'''[the world exploses as Bart gets pulled back]'''

==''[[w:King-Size Homer|King-Size Homer]]''==
:'''Dr. Nick''': Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
:'''Bart''': You could brush your teeth with milkshakes.
:'''Dr. Nick''': Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Homer''': Bart and Lisa have to go to school while I get to stay ho-ome, na-na-na-na-na!
:'''Lisa''': I like school.
:'''Homer''': Well, why don't you live in it then?
:'''Lisa''': I would if I could.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart fantasizes about being a &quot;lardo on workman's comp&quot; like Homer.]''
:'''Bart''': ''[showing a rag on a stick]'' [[What's Eating Gilbert Grape?|(southern accent) I wash myself with a rag on a stick.]]
:''[The members of the press all applaud Bart.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': &quot;Explosion imminent&quot;. ''[scrolls back through text, sees gas wasn't vented]'' Oh, my God! The plant's going to explode!
:''['''Power Plant.''' Carl and Lenny walk past the rumbling tank without a clue]''
:'''Carl''': Hey, that thing's going caca-cuckoo.
:'''Lenny''': Who cares? It's Homer's problem.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': Wait! I know! ''[types]'' Vent gas. &quot;Pressure too high&quot;? &quot;Tank must be shut down manually&quot;? ''[to drinking bird]'' Oh, stupid bird! I never should have put you in charge! ''[strangles it a bit]'' Why you... Oh, who am I kidding? It's all my fault! ''[the bird nods]'' I gotta call the plant and warn them! ''[grabs phone, but his index finger is so fat that it depresses several keys at once]''
:'''Recording''': ''The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.''
:'''Homer''': Ahhh! ''[runs to the car]'' I'm going to have to shut it down myself. Fat, don't fail me now! ''[jumps in car; tires blow out]'' D'oh! ''[jumps on skateboard; snaps in half]'' Oh-oh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer is driving a stolen ice-cream truck towards the cooling tower, with several power plant employees clinging to the sides.]''
:'''Homer''': Get away, damn it! Run for your lives!
:'''Worker 1''': I'll take a rocket pop!
:'''Worker 2''': What can I get for thirty cents?!
:'''Homer''': Let go! I've got to get to the tank! ''[the truck crashes and tips on its side; Homer runs out]''
:'''Worker 3''': Heck, I can't decide without the pictures.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': ''[leading an exercise]'' Push out the jive... bring in the love...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Homer, your quick-thinking and bravery have turned a potential [[w:Chernobyl disaster|Chernobyl]] into a mere [[w:Three Mile Island|Three Mile Island]]. Bravo!
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': I think it's ironic that Dad's girth saved the day, while a slimmer man would have fallen to his death.
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': And I think it's ironic that, for once, Dad's butt actually prevented the release of toxic ga-
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Bart!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines of episode]''
:'''Mr. Burns''': Now Homer, if there is anything else I can do for you, please let me know. ''[Homer looks at his family, and realizes his obesity is making life hard for them]''
:'''Homer''': Can you please make me thin again?
:'''Mr. Burns''': I guarantee it.
:''[Nighttime. Homer and Burns are out in the exercise yard. Homer strains, trying to to a sit-up.]''
:'''Mr. Burns''': 1. ''1. '''1!''' [throws down his megaphone in frustration]'' Bah! I'll just pay for the blasted liposuction.
:'''Homer''': Woo-hoo!

==''[[w:Mother Simpson|Mother Simpson]]''==
:''[After Homer has seemingly been sucked to his death in a hydro-electric turbine]''
:'''[[w:Mr. Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Smithers, who was that corpse?
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Homer Simpson, sir. ''[tearfully]'' One of the finest, bravest men to ever grace Sector 7-G... ''[calmly]'' I'll cross him off the list.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer clears the moss away from the headstone of what he thinks is his mother's grave.]''
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Oh, Mom, I'm sorry I never visit, I'm just not a cemetery person. ''[reads tombstone engraving]'' &quot;Here...lies...&quot;
:''[He clears the last of the moss away. The name on the stone is [[Walt Whitman]]. Homer is enraged.]''
:'''Homer''': Walt Whitman?! Arrrrgggghh!!! Damn you, Walt Whitman! ''[kicking the stone]'' I-hate-you-Walt-freaking-Whitman! ''[[Leaves of Grass]]'', my ass!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The FBI storm the Simpson house, looking for Mona.]''
:'''Friday''': Freeze. FBI. The jig is up.
:'''Grandpa''': Alright, I admit it: I am the [[w:Lindbergh baby|Lindbergh baby]]! Wah! Wah! Goo-goo. I missed my fly-fly, dada!
:'''Friday''': Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?
:'''Grandpa''': A little from column A, a little from column B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief Wiggum''': ''[Reading Homer's tombstone upside down]'' Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Yea, better start with Greek Town.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mona and Abe meet for the first time since Mona has come back]''
:'''Mona''': Oh, Abe... you've aged terribly. 
:'''Grampa''': ''[to Mona]'' Well, what do you expect?! You left me to raise the boy on my own!
:'''Mona''': ''[to Grampa]'' I had to leave! You didn't have to tell Homer I was dead!
:'''Grampa''': It was either that, or tell him his mother was a ''wanted criminal''! You were a rotten wife, and I'll never, ''ever'' forgive you! ''(beat)'' Can we have sex? Please?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In the post office]''
:'''Mr. Burns''': Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the [[w:Prussia|Prussia]]n consulate in [[w:Siam|Siam]] by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 [[w:autogyro|autogyro]]?

&lt;hr width= &quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mona''': ''[as she is leaving]'' Don't worry, Homer. You will always be a part of me. ''[hits her head on the van]'' ''D'oh!''

==''[[w:Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming|Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming]]''==
:''[As the Simpsons enter the air show the squeaky voiced teen is standing at the gate in an Air Force uniform, directing traffic.]''
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Way to guard the parking lot, top gun.
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in The Simpsons#Squeaky-Voiced Teen|Squeaky-Voiced Teen]]''': I have three medals for this!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hapablap''': What in the world according to Garth?  Those are my dress towels.  Who's in my private washroom?  McGuckett, let me in!
:'''Sideshow Bob''': The door already is closed.
:'''Hapablap''': What?!  This is Colonel Leslie &quot;Hap&quot; Hapablap!  If you don't open that door, I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot party!
:'''Sideshow Bob''': You say you're in the military?
:'''Hapablap''': Sweet Enola Gay, son!  I'm gonna come in there and corpse you up!  Corpse you up and mail you to mama!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Guard''': Authorization code.
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Code?!  Son, this is Colonel Hapablap!  This fool McGuckett sprayed runway foam all over Chuck Yeager's Acura!  Now get down there with the chamois triple-time!
:'''Guard''': But Colonel, I'm under restricted orders...
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Sweet Enola Gay, son!  Get moving or I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot party.
:'''Guard''': Sir, right away, sir!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart and Grandpa come across the Wright Brothers' airplane.]''
:'''Bart''': Look at that hunk of junk.
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': ''[sputters]'' You're ignorant! That's the Wright Brothers' plane! In Kitty Hawk in 1903, [[w:Charles Lindbergh|Charles Lindbergh]] flew it 15 miles on a thimble full of corn oil. Single-handedly won us the Civil War, it did.
:'''Bart''': How do you know so much about history, Grandpa?
:'''Grandpa''': I pieced it together, mostly from sugar packets.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Sideshow Bob|Sideshow Bob]]''': ''[speaking on a large TV screen]'' Hello, Springfield. Sorry to divert your attention from all the big noises and shiny things. But something's been troubling me lately: television! Wouldn't our lives be so much richer if television were done away with?
:'''[[w:Moe Syzslak|Moe]]''': What?
:'''[[w:Julius Hibbert|Dr. Hibbert]]''': Surely he's not talking about VH1.
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Why, we could revive the lost arts of conversation...and scrimshaw. Therefore I submit to you, we abolish television...permanently!
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Oh, and one more thing-- I've stolen a nuclear weapon. And if you do not rid this city of television in two hours, I will detonate it. Farewell. ''[Bob cuts the link, then turns it back on]'' By the way, I'm well aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Joe Quimby|Mayor Quimby]]''': Our city will ''not'' negotiate with terrorists. Is there a city nearby that will?
:'''Colonel''': No need, sir. We'll find that head case faster than Garfield finds lasagne. ''[pause]'' Oh..I'm..sorry. My wife thought that was gang busters.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Colonel''': Not the [[w:Harrier jump jet|Harrier]]! We've got a war tommorow.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Milhouse''': ''[sitting in the cockpit of an [[w:F-15 Eagle| F-15]] and pretending to fire its weapons]'' Take that Mom! ''[presses a button]'' Take that Dad! ''[presses another]'' Send me to a psychiatrist, will you?! Take that, Dr. Sally Waxler! ''[presses several buttons in rapid succession, is suddenly and violently ejected from the cockpit. Plummets into a snack bar in the background of the next scene]''

==''[[w:The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular|The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]]''==
:'''Troy McClure''': Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such Fox Network specials as &quot;Alien Nose Job&quot; and &quot;Five Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show.&quot; Tonight we're here to honor America's favorite non-prehistoric cartoon family.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Troy McClure''': Right about now, you're probably saying, &quot;Troy, I've seen every Simpson's episode. You can't show me anything new.&quot; ''[harsh]'' Well, you got some attitude, mister!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Deleted scene from [[w:Treehouse of Horror IV|Treehouse of Horror IV]].]''
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': I'd sell my soul for a Formula 1 racing car.
:''[Devil Flanders appears with a Formula 1 racing car.]''
:'''[[w:Ned Flanders|Devil Flanders]]''': Heh, heh, heh, that can be arranged.
:'''Bart''': Changed my mind, sorry.
:''[Devil Flanders vanishes.]''
:'''Bart''': Cooooool...
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Bart, stop pestering [[w:Satan|Satan]]!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Deleted scene from [[w:Burns' Heir|Burns' Heir]].]''
:'''Homer''': Bart, you're coming home!
:'''Bart''': I wanna stay here with Mr. Burns!
:'''Mr. Burns''': ''(threateningly)'' I suggest you leave immediately.
:'''Homer''': Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead: Do your worst!
:'''Mr. Burns''': &quot;My worst,&quot; eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons!
:''(Smithers pulls a lever on the side of the house. A door on the side of the stairs slides up, revealing a pear-shaped robot in a tank top and short-shorts with Richard Simmons' hair and voice. The robot walks up to Homer)''
:'''Robotic Simmons''': Come on, big boys! Shake the butter off those buns!
:''(A speaker slides out the side of his head, blaring &quot;Shake Your Booty&quot; by K.C. and the Sunshine Band. The robot begins disco dancing and Homer tries to back away from him; Homer then runs screaming from Burns' manor; as Burns, Bart, and Smithers keep watching, they turn and find the robotic Simmons right next to them, still dancing and still playing &quot;Shake Your Booty&quot;)''
:'''Robotic Simmons''': Come on, come on, now. Shake, shake, shake. ''(continues dancing)''
:'''Mr. Burns''': Smithers, he's out of control!
:'''Smithers''': I'll take him out, sir. ''(extracts his shotgun from his jacket pocket and shoots the robot square in the eye; the blown out eye [[w:Terminator 2: Judgement Day|reforms]] and the robot continues dancing, only this time, the music is warped and the robot begins shaking violently)''
:'''Smithers''': His ass is gonna blow!
:''(Smithers, Burns, and Bart run screaming back into the house as the Robotic Simmons explodes, his head landing miles away at the mansion's front gate)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[One of the false endings to [[w:Who Shot Mister Burns|Who Shot Mister Burns?]].]''
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': And, with your last ounce of strength, you pointed to W and S, Waylon Smithers.
:''[People gasp upon seeing Smithers is the one who shot Mr. Burns.]''
:'''[[w:Mr. Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Smithers, for attempting to kill me, I am giving you a 5% pay cut.
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Aww!
:'''[[w:Troy McClure|Troy McClure]]''': But, of course, for that ending to work, you would have to [[w:O.J. Simpson murder case|ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence]] ''(chuckles)'' and that would be downright nutty!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Troy McClure''': Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts. Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable?

==''[[w:Marge Be Not Proud|Marge Be Not Proud]]''==
:'''Bart''': Buy me Bonestorm or Go to Hell!
:'''Marge''':''[angry over his profanity]'' BART!
:'''Homer''': Young man, in this house we use a little word called Please.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[as Bart contemplates stealing a copy of ''Bonestorm'', he imagines several video game characters talking to him]''
:'''[[w:Luigi|Luigi]]''': Go ahead, Bart. Take-a the ''Bonestorm''.
:'''[[w:Mario|Mario]]''': The store, she's so rich! She'll-a never notice!
:'''[[w:Donkey Kong|Donkey Kong]]''': Duh, it's the company's fault for makin' ya want it so much.
:'''Lee''': Don't do it, son. How's that game gonna help your putting?
:'''[[w:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic]]''': Just take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! TAKE IT!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Det. Don Brodka''': If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A nervous Bart is seen getting dressed in his bedroom and he imagines Det. Brodka on the other side of the mirror.]''
:'''Det. Don Brodka''': If you ever step foot in this store again, you'll be spending Christmas in juvenile hall. Juvenile Hall! Juvenile Hall!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart imagines spending Christmas in juvenile hall with the bullies]''
:'''Guard''': Stand behind the yellow line. You will now receive your gift donated by the port of authority lost and found office. Pass your chip to Santa to receive your Christmas present. If you do not have a chip, you will not receive a gift.
:'''Jimbo''': Whoa, the March Aid newspaper.
:'''Nelson''':''[receiving a carpet samples book]'' Cool, a book of carpet samples.
:'''Bart''': Come on new bike. ''[drops his chip in and is disappointed when he receives a dirty wig]'' Aw, a soiled wig.
:'''Santa''': Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lee Carvallo's putting challenge during the closing credits.]''
:'''Lee Carvallo''': Welcome to ''Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge''. I am Carvallo. Now, choose a club.
:You have selected... 3-wood. May I suggest a putter?
:3-wood. Now select force of swing. I suggest feather touch.
:You have entered '''''Power Drive'''''! Now, push 7-8-7 to swing.
:Ball is in... parking lot. Would you like to play again?
:You have selected no.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart sees a sign saying &quot;Bonestorm - 99 cents.&quot; He rushes inside.]''
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': I'd like to buy a copy of ''Bonestorm''. Here's 99 cents.
:'''[[w:Comic Book Guy|Comic Book Guy]]''': ''[sighs]'' Allow me to summarize the proposed transaction. You wish to purchase ''Bonestorm'' for 99 cents. Net profit to me: negative 59 dollars. ''[opens the cash register]'' Please take my 59 dollars, I don't want it, it's yours. ''[Bart reaches forward to take the cash.]'' Eh-eh-eh--! Seeing as you are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I shall close the cash register at this point, and state that 99 cents is the ''rental price''.
:'''Bart''': Then may I please rent it, ''please?''
:'''Comic Book Guy''': No, you may not. I am all out, though I do have a surprising abundance of ''Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]]''': This is great, and all I've done is enter my name - Thrillhouse! ''[TV screen shows 'WELCOME THRILLHO']''
:'''Bart''': ''[walking in]'' Say, cool dude, can I play too?
:'''Milhouse''': Uh, uh... it's only a one player game.
:'''Bart''': Then how come it says 'second player score'?
:'''Milhouse''': Mom, Bart's swearing!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': Hey, how come you're not playing 'Bonestorm'?
:'''Milhouse''': Ehh... it got boring. I'm really into this cup and ball now! ''[laughing]'' You never know which way this crazy ball's gonna go!
:'''Bart''': Yeah, right. You're just trying to trick me because you don't want me playing your video game.
:'''Milhouse''': ''[giving Bart the video game]'' Here, go ahead.
:'''Bart''': No, let me try the cup and ball.
:'''Milhouse''': Get your own!
:'''Bart''': Come on! Don't be a cup-and-ball hog!
:'''Milhouse''': Hey! Give it! That's mine!
:''[Bart and Milhouse fight for the cup-and-ball.]''
:'''Milhouse''': MOM! BART'S SMOKING!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': What's the matter with your face? Is that a fake nose? Are you wearing chin putty?
:'''Bart''': I don't have to listen of these wild allegations! ''(nose putty falls off and lands near Santa's Little Helper. He eats it)''
:'''Marge''':''[removes the chin putty and hat off Bart]'' Please, Bart, no more pranks. It would mean so much to me if we could have just one nice family photo. 
:''[She shows Bart three of their last Christmas photos with his previous misbehaviors: one with Bart making a cross-eyed funny face, another with Bart using a comb to simulate a Hitler mustache, and a third with Bart holding a cardboard speech bubble that reads, &quot;I stink!&quot; next to Homer.]''
:'''Homer''': Hey, I don't remember saying that!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Marge exits the bathroom and joins Homer who's wearing half-moon glasses. He has found a proper punishment for Bart, while she is still distraught by his shoplifting at Try 'n' Save.]''
:'''Homer''': I've figured out the boy's punishment. First, he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no egg nog. In fact, no nog, period. And third, absolutely no stealing for three months.
:'''Marge''': I always thought I understood my special little guy, but somewhere along the road, his hand slipped away from mine.
:''[looks at a handprint of &quot;Bart, age 4&quot;]''
:'''Homer''': Ehh, what are you going to do?
:''[Marge looks over Homer's notepad, which reveals a drawing of a robot cooking a hot dog over a flaming trash can. Still, she is depressed over the whole shoplifting episode.]''
:'''Marge''': [pause] Mmm. He's not my little baby anymore. Maybe I mother him too much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Brodka yanks Bart by the collar of his suit as the picture is being taken and takes him to the side. He is extremely angered at the boy for violating their deal in returning to the store.]''
:'''Det. Don Brodka''': I thought I told you. Don't Return For Busted Merchandise.
:'''Homer''': What are you doing to my son?!
:'''Det. Don Brodka''': I'm afraid your son broke the 11th Commandment: Thou Shall Not Steal.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart desperately tries to stop Brodka from showing the security tape of him shoplifting Bonestorm by standing in front of the big screen TV.]''
:'''Bart''': Mom, I don't want you to see this. I did it.
:''[His timing is off, and everyone sees him taking the game and hiding it in the jacket. Everyone is in shock, including Marge and Lisa, while Homer is enraged.]''
:'''Lisa''': Bart, I would never expected this from you.
:'''Marge''':''[disheartened]'' Oh, Bart.

==''[[w:Team Homer|Team Homer]]''==
:'''[[w:Moe Szyslak|Moe]]''': You go through life, you try be nice to people, you resist the urge to punch 'em in the face, and for what? For some pimply little puke to treat you like dirt! Well, I'm better than dirt! Well... most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Mom, my slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck.
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Bart, where do you pick up words like that?
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': ''[on phone]'' Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
:'''Marge''': Homer, watch your mouth!
:'''Homer''': Aw, I gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening. ''[hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': I would like to join your bowling team.
:'''Homer''': You want to join my what?
:'''Smithers''': You want to what his team?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': Hey, everybody! If you wanna ask Burns for a favor, now's the time! He's doped up or dying or something! ''[Hans Moleman enters Burns' office]''
:'''Hans''': Uh, excuse me, I'd like to request $17 for a push-broom rebristling.
:'''Burns''': Why, it's that delightful TV leprechaun! I'm going to get your Lucky Charms. ''[pulls out a drill and points it at Moleman's head.]''
:'''Hans''': ''[offscreen]'' Oh no, my brains...

==''[[w:Two Bad Neighbors|Two Bad Neighbors]]''==
:'''[[George H. W. Bush|George Bush]]''': Oh, if he thinks George Bush'll stay out of the sewer, he doesn't know George Bush.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': He spanked you? ''[He's angry and points at Bart.]'' You? Bart Simpson?
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': I begged him to stop, but he said it was for the good of the nation.
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. [[Grover Cleveland]] spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions.
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Grampa, I know in your day, spanking was common, but Homer and I just don't believe in that kind of punishment.
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': And that's why your no-good kids are running wild!
:''[He points over at Lisa, in a beanbag chair, reading. She looks up, confused.]''
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': First, Bush invades my home turf, then he takes my pals, then makes fun of the way I talk -- probably. Now, he steals my right to raise a disobedient, smart-alecky son! WELL, THAT'S IT!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Homer watches Bush go jogging past with Reverend Lovejoy, Dr. Hibbert, and Lenny]''
:'''Homer''': Huh. Look at those phonies, sucking up to Bush. ''[Santa's Little Helper barks and runs off after them]'' I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush. ''[laughs]''
:'''Homer's Brain''': ''Well there it is, Homer: the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.''
:'''Homer''': D'oh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': ''[picks up a toy pistol]'' Well, we don't need this.
:'''Homer''': ''[ecstatic]'' Whic-- Marge! That's the Rhinestone Nights fashion gun! ''[holds a leather jacket]'' I need it to rhinestone up my old clothing.
:'''Marge''': Who's Disco Stu?
:'''Homer''': Uhh, I wanted to write &quot;Disco Stud&quot;, but I ran out of space. Not that Disco Stu didn't get his share of the action!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Seeing Homer's Disco Stu jacket]''
:'''Man''': Hey Stu, you should buy this.
:'''Disco Stu''': Hey, Disco Stu doesn't advertise.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Homer''': ''[singing, to the tune of &quot;[[w:Big Spender|Big Spender]]&quot;]'' Hey big spender! Dig this blender! Rainbow suspenders! Hey big spender!
:'''Crowd''': ''[singing]'' We surrender!
:'''Homer''': ''[singing]'' Spe-e-e-e-e-end some dough at table three!
:''[crowd applauds]''
:'''Homer''': Thank you neighbors, thank you! Now let's give it up for table five! ''[singing, to the tune of &quot;[[w:Stayin' Alive|Stayin' Alive]]&quot;]'' Ah, ah, ah, ah, table five, table five! Ah, ah, ah, ah, table fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-ive...
:'''Stu''': ''[after Homer stops]'' Disco Stu likes disco music. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Homer:''' For the last time Bush, apologize for spanking my boy!
:'''Bush:''' Never. You make him apologize for destroying my memoirs.
:'''Homer:''' ''[to Bart]'' You didn't tell me you destroyed his memoirs. NEVER!

==''[[w:Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield|Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield]]''==
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Look at these low, low prices on famous brand-name electronics!
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Don't be a sap, Dad. These are just crappy knock-offs!
:'''Homer''': Pfft! I know a genuine [[w:Panasonic|Panaphonics]] when I see one. And look, there's [[w:Magnavox|Magnetbox]] and [[w:Sony|Sorny]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer has taken up golf as a hobby and is practicing hitting golf balls into the commodes in the men's room at the nuclear plant, which is clandestinely being observed by Mr. Burns and Smithers on their surveillance cameras.]''
:'''[[w:Mr. Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Smithers, who is that lavatory linksman?
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Homer Simpson, sir. From Sector 7-G.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Simpson, eh? Well, invite him to the country club. I believe I finally may have a challenge in golf. I have not lost a game since I let [[Richard Nixon]] win during his beleaguered second term.
:'''Smithers''': That was very thoughtful of you, sir.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his ''[imitating Nixon]'' &quot;Ohhh, I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me alive!&quot; ''[normal voice]'' Say, I wonder if this Homer Nixon is of any relation?
:'''Smithers''': Unlikely sir, as they spell and pronounce their names differently.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': But Marge... valets! For once maybe someone will call me &quot;sir&quot; without adding &quot;You're making a scene.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Use an open faced club. A ''[[w:sand wedge|sand wedge]]''.
:'''Homer''': Mmm, open faced [[w:club sandwich|club sandwich]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer is putting the wrong score on his card]''
:'''[[w:Tom Kite|Tom Kite]]''': Hey the point of cheating at golf is to lower your score.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After making a great shot]''
:'''Tom Kite''': Great shot Homer.
:'''Homer''': You really think so?
:'''Tom''': Yeah. Now all you need is your own set of clubs. '''And stay the hell out of my locker!''' You can keep the shoes.

==''[[w:Bart the Fink|Bart the Fink]]''==
:'''Bart''': Boy, I sure could go for a hundred tacos right about now.
:'''Marge''': No! ''[yanks Bart. Comic Book Guy exits with a wheelbarrow full of tacos]''
:'''Comic Book Guy''': Yes, this should provide adequate sustenance for the ''[[w:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]]'' marathon.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A series of IRS agents investigate Krusty's check, then place a call to his bank in the [[w:Cayman Islands|Cayman Islands]].]''
:'''Cayman Islands Offshore Holding Corporation Manager''': ''[chuckles]'' Oh, I'm sorry. I can't divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account. ''[hangs up phone]'' ...Oh crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer... Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said it was secret... Oh, crap! I ''certainly'' shouldn't have said it was illegal! ''[sits back, fanning himself]'' Ah, it's too hot today.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Krusty is being audited by the IRS.]''
:'''Krusty''': Oh, I can't go to jail! I got a swanky lifestyle! I'm used to the best!
:'''IRS Agent #1''': Krusty, this is America. We don't send our celebrities to jail; we're just going to garnish your salary.
:'''Krusty''': Garnish my celery?!
:'''IRS Agent #1''': Please, Krusty, no jokes.
:'''Krusty''': Who's joking?! ''[sobs]'' Oh, I don't know what you're saying, it all sounds so crazy to me!
:'''IRS Agent #2''': It simply means we will be taking part of your salary until your debt is repaid. Say, 75% for 40 years.
:'''Krusty''': But I don't plan to live that long!
:'''IRS Agent #1''': Better make it 95%.
:'''Krusty''': Oh-hoh, boy!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Troy McClure|Troy McClure]]''': Hello, I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such celebrity funerals as &quot;[[w:Andre The Giant|Andre The Giant]], We Hardly Knew Ye&quot; and &quot;[[w:Shemp Howard|Shemp Howard]]: Today We Mourn A [[w:Three Stooges|Stooge]].&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Krusty''': Who needs friends!? The incessant beep of the global positioning system is all the companionship I need. ''[The GPS electrocutes Krusty. In a fury, he throws it overboard.]'' Tell me where you are now, you bastard!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Krusty's show has been taken over by the IRS]''
:'''Krusty''': Hey, hey, kids! Now that the feds are calling the shots, this show's gotta be a lot more cost-effective. So we had to cut down on the thrills, like sets, props, costumes and Sideshow Mel. But that doesn't mean we can't have fun! For example, I sure wish someone would give me a banana cream pie! Yeah. Uh...
:''[An IRS agent backstage gestures that they don't have the money]''
:'''Krusty''': I guess we can't afford pies right now. Well throw something!
:''[IRS agent throws his briefcase and it hits Krusty in the eye]''
:'''Krusty''': OW! Oh, the corner hit... ughhhh.... 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Skinner opens his front door and sees his mother with Superintendent Chalmers]''
:'''Skinner''': Mother!
:'''Agnes Skinner''': Seymour!
:'''Skinner''': Superintendent Chalmers!
:'''Chalmers''': Skinner?!
:'''Skinner''': What I wouldn't give for something to distract from this awkward moment...
:''[Krusty flies by in his plane, sobbing and looping out of control.]''
:'''Skinner''': That'll do nicely.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart blows up a Krusty balloon and the face is deformed]''
:'''Bart''': Have you seen this man?
:'''Sea Captain''': Aye, that's Handsome Pete. He dances for nickels.''[Turns to the back door]'' '''Pete, ya got some customers!'''
:''[a dwarf whose face resembles Krusty's comes in and plays an accordion while dancing]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Krusty's plane, the I'm-On-A-Rolla Gay, is being auctioned off. Krusty grabs the mic from the auctioneer and makes an emotional appeal]''
:'''Krusty''': But I love that plane! I used to fly to Vegas in it with Dean Martin! One night he looked out the window, and the moon hit his eye like a big pizza pie! We wrote a song about it! But it ended up infringing on one he'd recorded years before... 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Krusty is sitting on the curb smoking a cigarette and drinking from a bottle in a paper bag. His home and belongings have just all been auctioned off. Bart approaches.]''
:'''Bart''': Krusty? Hi. Is it okay if I sit down here?
:'''Krusty''': Go ahead, kid, knock yourself out. 
:'''Bart''': ''[sits]'' I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, Krusty. But you know, my mom says God never closes a door without opening a window.
:'''Krusty''': Well, no offense kid, but your mom's a dingbat. There's no silver lining here. I was a big cheese. A HUGE CHEESE! But now look at me! I gotta ride the bus like a schnook. I gotta live in an apartment like an idiot. I gotta wait in line with ''nobodies'' to buy ''groceries'' from a ''FAILURE''!
:'''Bart''': It doesn't matter how you live or what you did wrong. As long as you're on TV, people will respect you. 
:'''Krusty''': Respect? BAH! What good is respect without the moolah to back it up? Everywhere I go I see teachers in Ferraris. Research scientists drinking champagne! I tried to drink a Coke on the bus, and they took away my pass! That's no life for a famous clown...
:'''Bart''': Well, if it'll make you feel any better, Krusty, you can punch me in the face.
:''[Bart cringes as Krusty angrily cocks his fist back. For a second it looks as though he'll do it, but he changes his mind.]'' 
:'''Krusty''': Nah, forget it. Go home, kid.

==''[[w:Lisa the Iconoclast|Lisa the Iconoclast]]''==
:'''[[w:Edna Krabappel|Mrs. Krabappel]]''': &quot;Embiggens&quot;? I never heard that word before I came to Springfield.
:'''[[w:Springfield Elementary School#Elizabeth Hoover|Miss Hoover]]''': I don't know why. It's a perfectly cromulent word.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': ''[ringing bell]'' Hear ye, hear ye! Ye olde town crier proclaimed crappy by all! Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world!
:'''[[w:Clancy Wiggum|Chief Wiggum]]''': My God, he is fabulous!
:'''[[w:Seymour Skinner|Principal Skinner]]''': He's embiggened that role with his cromulent performance.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Betsy Ross|Betsy Ross]]''': I got the white stars you wanted, but not the red hearts, yellow moons, and or green clovers.
:'''[[George Washington]]''': Well... I'll use it. But I'm not paying for it!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hollis Hurlbut''': Now get out. You're banned from this historical society. You and your children, and your children's children... for three months.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Mayor Quimby''': Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': I've got two questions. One: Where's the fife? Two: Give me the fife.

==''[[w:Homer the Smithers|Homer the Smithers]]''==
:'''Mr. Burns''': You should've seen the murderous glint in his eyes, Smithers. And his breath reeked of beer and pretzled bread.
:'''Smithers''': I'm so sorry, Mr. Burns. This was all my fault.
:'''Mr. Burns''':  No, don't concern yourself. If things had turned ugly, I always had my mace. ''[motions to an actual mace]''
:'''Smithers''': Don't let me off the hook that easily, sir. I failed you, and I'll never forgive myself! ''[Begins smashing his head against the steering wheel of the limo]'' Never! Never! Never! Never! Never! Never! 
:''[Annoyed, Burns raises the shield between him and Smithers. His car phone rings, and he answers it.]''
:'''Smithers''': ''[through the phone]'' Never! Never! Never!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': ''[yelps as he turns on the lamp]'' 60 watts! What do you think this is, a tanning salon?! I asked for light starch on my nightcap! ''[Homer yelps as he gets poked by his nightcap]'' ''[soaks Homer with his drink]'' You call this [[w:postum|postum]]?! ''[knocks over Homer's stack of paper]'' You call this a tax return?! ''[hits a generator with a crowbar which spews out smoke and sparks of electricity]'' You call this a super computer?! You're a travesty of a joke of an assistant!
:''[Homer screams and knocks Mr. Burns out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Moe''': Moe's Tavern.
:'''Mr. Burns''': I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers. First name Waylon.
:'''Moe''': Ohh. So you're looking for a Mr. Smithers eh? First name Waylon is it? Listen to me you! When I catch you I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove them down your pants! So you can watch me kick the crap out of you okay! Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Smithers''': I have to find someone to replace me while I'm gone who won't outshine me. I'll search the employee database under the word &quot;incompetent&quot;.
:'''Computer''': 714 matches found.
:'''Smithers''': 714 names? I'd better narrow the search. Let's see... &quot;lazy&quot;, &quot;clumsy&quot;, &quot;monstrously ugly&quot;.
:'''Computer''': Searching... 714 matches found.
:'''Smithers''': Eh, nuts to this. I'll just go and get Homer Simpson.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Simpson? Simpson! Did you get that report on the accounting department?
:'''Homer''': Yes sir I did. [pulls out the report] The accounting department is located on the third floor. Its hours are 9AM to 5PM. The head of this department is a Mr.Johnston or Johnstone. [Mr.Burns grabs Homer's report, angrily crumples it up, and drops it]
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Here are your messages: &quot;You have 30 minutes to move your car,&quot; &quot;You have 10 minutes,&quot; &quot;Your car has been impounded,&quot; &quot;Your car has been crushed into a cube,&quot; &quot;You have 30 minutes to move your cube.&quot;
:''[phone rings]''
:'''Homer''': ''[answering]'' Hello, Mr. Burns' office.
:'''[[w:Mr. Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Is it about my cube?
:'''Homer''': Its Mr. Smithers. He's calling for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Montgomery Burns' office. Oh hello, Mrs Burns. I'll see if your son is available.
:'''Homer''': Mr. Burns has a mother? She must be 100 million years old!
:'''Smithers''': ''[to Homer]'' She has limited capacities. All she can do is dial and yell. ''[talks back to Mrs Burns]'' I'm sorry, Monty can't come to the phone right now. He's in a very important meeting and can't be disturbed. ''[shot of Burns trying to avoid falling asleep]'' Uh-huh... okay, I'll give him the message. ''[hangs up]'' Mr. Burns can't stand talking to his mother. He never forgave her for having that affair with [[William Howard Taft|President Taft]].
:'''Homer''': ''[chuckling]'' Taft, you old dog!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Smithers''': ''[enters Moe's Tavern]'' Uh... hello. Got a help wanted sign on the window?
:'''Moe''': Uh, yeah. I need someone to help me with the midnight beer delivery. Your job is to distract Barney until it's safely off the truck.
:'''Smithers''': I'll just wait out back until then.
:'''Barney''': I look forward to working with you!
:'''Homer''': Mr. Smithers wait! You can't let yourself end up in a place like this. You've got two choices. You can give up on yourself and take the Barney-guarding job like so many of us have contemplated in our darkest moments. Or you can admit to yourself that there's only one person that can make you happy and do whatever it takes to get them back!
:'''Smithers''': You're right! But I'm gonna need your help.
:''( the Duff clock strikes 12 and it tolls)''
:'''Moe''': Oh My God!
:'''Truck Driver''': Beer delivery. Just sign here. Oh, No! It's you! 
:''[loud crashing]''
:'''Barney''':[laughing] [Truck Driver: Hey!] Oh boy! [Truck Driver: give me that!] No! [empty metal containers rolling] (burps loudly)

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': Is there something wrong, Homie?
:'''Homer''': No.
:'''Marge''': Except?
:'''Homer''': Except... '''''I killed Mr. Burns!'''''
:'''Lisa''': What happened, Dad?
:'''Homer''': I punched Burns right in his 104-year-old face!
:'''Lisa''': Are you sure he's dead? Maybe you just really, really hurt him.
:'''Marge''': Okay, maybe everything is alright. Maybe if you go apologize, he might not even fire you... if he's alive.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Doughnuts? I told you I don't like ethnic foods.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer is helping Smithers to a taxi with his bags]''
:'''Smithers''': Is there anything else you need to know? ''[gets in]''
:'''Homer''': Uhh... What do I do in case of fire?
:'''Smithers''': ''[The window is rolled up and his voice is muffled]'' Sorry, can't hear you. ''[Taxi starts driving off]'' Good luck.
:''[Homer goes back to Mr. Burns's office which is on fire]''
:'''Homer''': Aww, just my luck.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Good Lord Smithers, you look atrocious! I thought I told you to take a vacation.
:'''Homer''': Uh, Smithers already left, sir. I am his replacement, Homer Simpson.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Simpson, eh? Ah yes, I will have my lunch now. A single pillow of shredded wheat, some steamed toast, and a dodo egg.
:'''Homer''': But I think the dodo went extinct.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Get going! And after lunch install a computer system and rotate my office so the window faces the hills!

==''[[w:The Day the Violence Died|The Day the Violence Died]]''==
:'''Chester''': He didn't create Itchy: I did.
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Huh?
:'''Chester''': He stole the character from me in 1928. When I complained, his thugs kicked me out of his office, and dropped an anvil on me. Luckily, I was carrying an umbrella at the time.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Chester and the Simpsons are eating dinner and Chester is staring angrily at Grampa Abe.]''
:'''Abe''': I thought I recognized you!  I gave you a plate of corn muffins back at 1947 to paint my chicken coop, and you never did it!
:'''[[w:Kirk Douglas|Chester]]''': Those corn muffins were lousy!
:'''Abe''': Paint my chicken coop!
:'''Chester''': Make me!
:''[Abe comes across the table and the old men begin fighting.]''
:'''Marge''': That does it! One of them has to go!
:'''Homer''': Okay, Grampa.
:'''Marge''': No, the B-U-M.
:'''Homer''': Oh...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lawyer''': Krusty, have you ever seen this so-called &quot;animation genius&quot; before?
:'''Krusty''': Yes, I have!
:'''Lawyer''': You have?!
:'''Krusty''': I gave him a couple of blintzes to paint my fence, BUT HE NEVER DID IT!
:'''Chester''': Those blintzes were terrible!
:'''Krusty''': PAINT MY FENCE!
:'''Chester''': Make me!
:'''Krusty''': ''[charges at Chester and starts punching him]'' YOU GIVE ME BACK THOSE BLINTZES, THEN!
:'''Snyder''': Order, order!  We don't care about your blintzes!
:''[Krusty frowns at Snyder]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Watching &quot;Amendment To Be&quot;, which has replaced &quot;Itchy &amp; Scratchy&quot;.]''
:'''Bart''': What the hell is this?
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': It's one of those [[Schoolhouse Rock!|campy '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation X'ers.]]
:'''Bart''': We need another [[w:Vietnam War|Vietnam]] to thin out their ranks a little!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Roger Myers, Jr.''': Okay, maybe my dad did steal Itchy. But so what? Animation is built on plagiarism. If it weren’t for someone plagiarizing ''[[The Honeymooners]]'', we wouldn’t have ''[[The Flintstones]]''. If someone hadn’t ripped off ''[[w:Sergeant Bilko|Sergeant Bilko]]'', there’d be no ''[[Top Cat]]''. Huckleberry Hound, Chief Wiggum ''(Chief Wiggum stares at Roger Meyers)'', Yogi Bear, hah! [[Andy Griffith]], [[Edward G. Robinson]], [[w:Art Carney|Art Carney]]. Your Honor, you take away our right to steal ideas, where are they gonna come from? ''[points to Marge in the galley]'' Her?
:'''Marge''': How about...Ghost Mutt?

==''[[w:A Fish Called Selma|A Fish Called Selma]]''==
:'''TV Announcer''': Movie for a Rained-Out Ball Game presents ''The Muppets Go Medieval''. Starring Dyan Cannon and Troy McClure.
:'''Kermit the Frog''': Unhand the swine, thee swain!
:'''Miss Piggy''': Quiet, frog!
:'''Bart''': What's a Muppet?
:'''Homer''': {chuckling} Well it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but...to tell the truth, I don't know.
:'''Troy McClure''': {as black knight} Oh princess fair, wilst thou grant thee thine dainty hoof in marriage?
:'''Bart''': Hey, who is that leathery muppet?
:'''Marge''': He is not a Muppet. That is Troy McClure. Back in the 1970s he was quite the teen heartthrob.
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Troy McClure? That guy's a freak!
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': What are you talking about?
:'''Homer''': You know, his bizarre personal life. Those weird things they say he does down at the aquarium. Why, I heard...
:'''Marge''': Oh, Homer, that's just an urban legend. People don't do that kind of thing with fish!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in The Simpsons#Legs and Louie|Louie]]''': Troy McClure!? You said he was dead!
:'''[[w:Fat Tony|Fat Tony]]''': No, what I said is that he sleeps with the fishes! You see...
:'''Louie''': Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Selma''': ''[to Marge]'' Remember when we were kids, we used to dream about our ideal husbands? Who knew the dream would come true for one of us? ''[uncomfortable pause]'' Oh, come on! Guess which one.
:'''Homer''': I know! I know! It's Selma, right?

==''[[w:Bart on the Road|Bart on the Road]]''==
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Doughnut?
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': No, thanks. Do you have any fruit?
:'''Homer''': This has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Nelson Muntz|Nelson]]''': ''[in awe]'' What is this place?
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': [[w:Branson, Missouri|Branson, Missouri]]. My dad says it's like Vegas... if it were run by Ned Flanders.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer makes a crank call to Moes]''
:'''Homer''': Hello, I'd like to speak to with a Mr. Snotball, first name Eura?
:'''[[w:Moe Syzlak|Moe]]''': Eura Snotball?
:'''Homer''': What?! How dare you?! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': ''[after Lisa tells him about Bart's problem; his face turns a weird shade of red and he is unnervingly calm]'' Yes... that's a real pickle. Would you excuse me for a moment?
:''[He turns to the wall, puts on a radiation suit hood and screams out muffled obscenities, then removes the hood and turns to face Lisa, eerily calm again.]''
:'''Homer''': All right, I have thought this through. I will send Bart the money to fly home, then I will murder him.
:'''Lisa''': No! Then he'll know I told!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Nelson tries to sell Milhouse's glasses in a [[w:Pawnbroker| pawn shop]]]''
:'''Pawnbroker''': These lenses are perfect! Now I can re-bottom those antique Coke bottles. ''[Starts counting money]'' Three hundred, four hundred, five hundred, six hundred... ''[A blind Milhouse knocks over the display of Coke bottles and breaks them]'' ...Five hundred, four hundred, three hundred, two hundred, one hundred, zero!
:''[Kicks them out of the store]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Nelson smacks Milhouse for fiddling with the car's radio too much]''
:'''[[w:Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]]''': OW! Bart, Nelson hit me! 
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': He sure did.

==''[[w:22 Short Films About Springfield|22 Short Films About Springfield]]''==
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in The Simpsons#Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon|Sanjay]]''': I wish you'd come to my party, Apu. You could use some merriment.
:'''[[w:Apu Nahasapeemapetilon|Apu]]''': Listen, serving the customer is merriment enough for me. :''[Bart pays for his gum]'' Thank you, come again. You see? Most enjoyable.
:'''Sanjay''': Oh, I guarantee a wingding of titanic proportions. You will be there or kindly be square.
:'''Apu''': Well, I don't like to leave the store... ''[dusts off a &quot;back in 5 minutes&quot; sign]'' ...but for the next five minutes I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chairman''': Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few complaints against you. :''[reads from clipboard]'' Of the 160 gravest charges, the most troubling are performing major operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant...
:'''[[w:Nick Riviera|Dr. Nick]]''': But I cleaned them with my napkin.
:'''Chairman''': Misuse of the cadavers...
:'''Dr. Nick''': I get here earlier when I drive in the carpool lane.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Moe''': Say Barn. Uh, remember when I said I had to send away to [[w:NASA|NASA]] to calculate your bar tab?
:'''Barney''': [laughs] Oh yeah. We all had a good laugh Moe.
:'''Moe''': The results came back in. [picks up a huge stack of paper and reads it] &quot;You owe me $70 billion.&quot;
:'''Barney''': Hmmm?!
:'''Moe''': Wait no that was for the [[w:Voyager 2|Voyager spacecraft]]. Your tab is $14 billion.
:'''Barney''': All's I got is 2,000 bucks.
:'''Moe''': Well that's halfway there. [puts the money in the cash register just as Snake bursts through the door]
:'''Snake''': Freeze, Dude! Move a muscle and I'll blow this whino's head off!
:''[Moe heads into a room where he is protected]''
:'''Moe''': I'm behind 3 inches of bullet-proof glass. Do your worst!
:'''Snake''': All right. [opens the cash register and takes Moe's money]
:'''Moe''': No! Stay out of there! Oh! Good God! No! [turns on and off the light many times]
:'''Snake''': Ho! Goodbye student loan payments! Ha! Ha! [leaves Moe's Tavern]
:'''Moe''': Come back here you..! Hey I wonder how much air is in here? [faints]

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chalmers''': Well, Seymour I made it-- despite your directions.
:'''Skinner''': Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
:'''Chalmers''': Yes...
:''[Skinner runs to the kitchen, only to find smoke pouring out of the oven. He gasps in horror.]''
:'''Skinner''': Oh ye Gods! My roast is ruined! ''[glances out the window and notices a Krusty Burger across the street]'' But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? ''[chuckles]'' Delightfully devilish, Seymour.
:''[He begins to climb through the window, but Chalmers enters the kitchen]''
:''[title shows &quot;Skinner &amp; the Superintendent&quot;, theme song plays]''
:'''Singers''': ''Skinner with his crazy explanations/The Superintendent's gonna need his medication/When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations/There'll be trouble in town tonight!''
:'''Chalmers''': [yelling] SEYMOUR!!!!
:'''Skinner''': Superintendent! I was just, er, stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
:'''Chalmers''': Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
:'''Skinner''': Uh... ooh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm, steamed clams.
:''[Chalmers leaves the kitchen muttering. Skinner climbs out the window and runs to the Krusty Burger, returning with a platter of hamburgers and fries]''
:'''Skinner''': Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
:'''Chalmers''': I thought we were having steamed clams.
:'''Skinner''': Oh no, I said 'steamed hams'. That's what I call hamburgers.
:'''Chalmers''': You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?
:'''Skinner''': Yes. It's a... regional dialect.
:'''Chalmers''': Uh-huh? What region?
:'''Skinner''': Er, upstate New York?
:'''Chalmers''': Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'.
:'''Skinner''': Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
:'''Chalmers''': I see.
:''[Chalmers takes a bite out of a burger and chews a little, while Skinner sips his drink]''
:'''Chalmers''': You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
:'''Skinner''': Hohoho no! Patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe!
:'''Chalmers''': For steamed hams?
:'''Skinner''': Yes.
:'''Chalmers''': Yes. And you call them steamed hams, despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
:'''Skinner''': Y- Uh.. you know the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second.
:'''Chalmers''': Of course.
:''[Skinner walks into the kitchen, inside which orange flames can be glimpsed, and immediately comes back into the dining room]''
:'''Principal Skinner''': ''[yawning]'' Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
:'''Superintendent Chalmers''': Yes, I should be-- ''[notices the fire]'' Good Lord, what is happening in there?
:'''Skinner''': Aurora Borealis? 
:'''Chalmers''': ''[fed up]'' Uh- Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, ''localized'' '''''entirely''''' ''within your kitchen!?''
:'''Skinner''': ''[cheerful]'' Yes!
:'''Chalmers''': ''[pause]'' May I see it?
:'''Skinner''': ''[pause]'' ...no.
:''[They exit the house. Smoke is pouring out the upstairs windows]''
:'''Agnes''': Seymour! The house is on fire!!
:'''Skinner''': No, mother. Its just the northern lights.
:'''Chalmers''': Well, Seymour you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.
:''[Chalmers leaves]''
:'''Agnes''': Help!!!! HELP!!!!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[ [[w:Snake Jailbird|Snake]] stops at a red light and sees [[w:Chief Wiggum|Chief Wiggum]] crossing the street]''
:'''Wiggum''': Doughnuts, I got doughnuts. I got, hey I know you.
:''[Snake wrecks his car while trying to run him down, then escapes on foot]''
:'''Wiggum''': Hey come back, we gotta swap insurance info.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Apu gets back to the Kwik-E-Mart and unlocks the door]''
:'''Hans Moleman''': You took away 4 minutes of my life and I want them back. ''[pauses]'' Eh, I'd only waste them anyway.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[episode has ended]'' 
:'''Professor Frink''': ''[comes running up holding a sign that says The Tomfoolery of Professor Frink]'' Uh, ah, uh, sorry I'm late. There was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying. One of the monkeys stole the glasses off my head ''[end credits start]'' Uh, no wait, please no, please I have a funny story! I even wrote theme music! ''[sings]'' ''Professor Frink, Professor Frink. He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think. He likes to run and then the thing with the... um, person.....'' Oh boy, that monkey is going to pay.

== ''[[w:Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in &quot;The Curse of the Flying Hellfish&quot;|Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in &quot;The Curse of the Flying Hellfish&quot;]]'' ==
:'''Bart''': Mr. Burns, can you take me with you? I won't eat much and I don't know the difference between right and wrong.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Oh, you're a good boy, but the child labor people have been watching me like a hawk.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': Was that me or was that you?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Martin''': Dickety? Highly dubious!
:'''Abe''': What are you cackling at, fatty?!  Too much pie, that's your problem!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Smithers''': ''(dressed as Bart)'' I'll be in the car, dudes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Grandpa makes a dangerous deep water dive to rescue Bart from being drowned by Mr. Burns.]''
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Sorry I made you lose the treasure, Grampa.
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': The treasure's not important, boy; the most important thing is that you're safe. Now, let's go get that treasure!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart is impressed with Grandpa's past heroism.]''
:'''Bart''': Grandpa, do you think I could have been in the Flying Hellfish?
:'''Grandpa''': You're a give-em'-hell daredevil with a never-say-die attitude and a fourth-grade education! You could have made sergeant!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa''': I'd hug you, but I know it would just embarrass you.
:'''Bart''': I don't care who knows I love my grandpa.
:''[They embrace. Suddenly, Baron von Wortzenberger drives up to them]''
:'''Baron von Wurtzenberger''': Hey funboys, get a room!

==''[[w:Much Apu About Nothing|Much Apu About Nothing]]''==
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': What you're saying is so understandable. And really, your only crime was violating U.S. law.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Please identify this object.
:'''[[w:Apu Nahasapeemapetilon|Apu]]''': It appears to be the flag that disappeared from the public library last year.
:'''Homer''': Correct. Now, we all know the thirteen stripes are for good luck, but why does the American flag have precisely forty-seven stars?
:'''Apu''': Because this particular flag is ''[chuckling]'' ridiculously out of date! The library must have purchased it during the brief period in 1912 after [[w:New Mexico|New Mexico]] became a state but before [[w:Arizona|Arizona]] did.
:'''Homer''': Uh... partial credit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Proctor''': All right, here's your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War?
:'''Apu''': Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter—
:'''Proctor''': Wait, wait... just say slavery.
:'''Apu''': Slavery it is, sir.

==''[[w:Homerpalooza|Homerpalooza]]''==
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Aww, it makes no sense; I haven't changed since high school and all of a sudden I'm uncool.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[1974. Homer and Barney are singing to the tune of {{w|Leo Sayer}}'s &quot;{{w|You Make Me Feel Like Dancing}}&quot;.]''
:'''Homer''': ''[off-key]'' You make me feel like dancin'!
:'''[[w:Barney Gumble|Barney]]''': ''[off-key]'' I wanna dance the night away! ''[Abraham enters the scene]''
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': What the hell are you two doin'?!
:'''Barney''': It's called &quot;rocking out&quot;!
:'''Homer''': You wouldn't understand, Dad. You're just not ''with'' it.
:'''Grampa''': I used to be &quot;with it&quot;. But then they changed what ''it'' was! Now what I'm ''with'' isn't ''it'', and what's ''it'' seems weird and scary to me. ''[points sinisterly at Homer]'' It'll happen to ''you''! ''[Homer shrugs off Abraham, looks at his reflection in the mirror happily]''
:'''Homer''': No way, man! We're gonna keep on rockin' forever! Forever! Forever!
:''[fades to his dejected self in the mirror at present day]''
:'''Homer''': ''[dejected]'' Forever... forever... forever...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During one of Homer's freak show performances.]''
:'''Teenager #1''': Oh look, there's that cannonball guy. He's ''cool''.
:'''Teenager #2''': Are you being sarcastic, dude?
:'''Teenager #1''': ''[after a pause]'' I don't even know any more...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer informs Marge he want to join the Pageant of the Transmundane.]''
:'''Marge''': So... you want to go on tour with a traveling freak show.
:'''Homer''': I don't think I have a choice, Marge.
:'''Marge''': Of course you have a choice.
:'''Homer''': How do you figure?
:'''Marge''': You don't have to join a freak show just because the opportunity came along. ''[Homer pauses for a beat]''
:'''Homer''': You know, Marge, in some ways, you and I are very different people.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Backstage at the Springfield Hullabalooza show, a backstage assistant enters with a group of musicians in tow.]''
:'''Backstage Assistant''': May I have your attention please! Who here ordered the London Symphony Orchestra? I repeat, someone here ordered the London Symphony Orchestra! Possibly while high!! [[w:Cypress Hill|Cypress Hill]], I'm looking in your direction!!!
:''[The Cypress Hill members talk among themselves for a bit.]''
:'''B-Real''': Uh, yeah, I think we did...um, do you guys know &quot;{{w|Insane in the Brain}}&quot;?
:'''Orchestra Player''': We mostly know classical... but we could give it a shot.
:''[The track drops for &quot;Insane In The Brain&quot;, and Cypress Hill dances as the symphony orchestra starts to play its own interpretation.]''
:'''Marge''': Now, ''this'', I like.

==''[[w:Summer of 4 Ft. 2|Summer of 4 Ft. 2]]''==
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Well, did you call one of your friends?
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': Friends? Hah! These are my only friends. Grown up nerds like [[Gore Vidal]], and even he's kissed more boys than I ever will.
:'''Marge''': ''Girls'', Lisa. Boys kiss ''girls''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Erin''': So, you like hanging out?
:'''Lisa''': Well, it beats doin' stuff.
:'''Erin''': Totally. Stuff sucks.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer walks up to the counter in a convenience store.]''
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Yeah, um, give me one of those porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a box of panty shields... ''[rapid undertone]'' and some illegal fireworks... ''[normal voice]'' and one of those disposable enemas. You know what? Make it two.
:'''Clerk''': My apologies, sir, but the sale of fireworks is strictly prohibited in this state and is punishable by a— ''[sees the only other customer in the store walk out the door]'' follow me.
:''[Homer follows the store clerk to his secret stash of illegal fireworks]''
:'''Clerk''': Any red-blooded, flag-fearing American would love... the M-320. Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.
:'''Homer''': All right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lisa is eating in the kitchen and Marge is in the background. Bart enters]''
:'''Bart''': Hey Lis. ''[sits beside her]'' I guess my little yearbook stunt was pretty rough but it did teach you a lesson. It's important to be yourself. ''[Marge leaves]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[Grabs Bart by his shirt and whispers to him]'' I know exactly who I am. I am the sister of a rotten, jealous, mean, little sneak! ''[grabs a syrup bottle]'' You cost me my only friends! ''[holds the bottle on top of Bart's head, threatening him]'' You've ruined my life! ''[squeezes the bottle, but Marge re-enters the room. Lisa starts eating again and Bart looks at Lisa scared]''
:'''Marge''': Hey kids! there's a carnival tonight!
:'''Milhouse''': ''[appears from behind a cereal box]'' Oh boy, a carnival!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Marge is looking through the grocery bag filled with embarrassing hygiene and sexual products Homer bought at the convenience store.]''
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Ew, Homer. Whatever you're planning for tonight, count me out. Didn't you buy any meat?
:'''Homer''': ''[patting the giant firework]'' Hee, hee, hee! This baby's sure to kill somethin'!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': This is the worst Fourth of July ever. I hate America! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Lisa finds out that the beach kids decorated the family car with seashells.]''
:'''Homer''': SWEET, MERCIFUL CRAP! My car!

==External links==

{{DEFAULTSORT:Simpsons, Season 07}}
[[Category:The Simpsons seasons]]

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&lt;noinclude&gt;{{wikipedia|The Simpsons (season 7)}}
{{Otherusesof|The Simpsons}}

'''''[[The Simpsons]]''''' Season 7&lt;/noinclude&gt;

==''[[w:Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)|Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)]]''==
:''[Smithers sits in a confessional.]''
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Father, I'm not a Catholic, but... I tried to march in the St. Patrick's Day parade... anyway, I've got a rather large sin to confess. I'm the one who... ''[breaks down sobbing]'' who shot Mr. Burns!
:''[Chief Wiggum opens the screen and cocks his pistol.]''
:'''[[w:Clancy Wiggum|Chief Wiggum]]''': That's all I needed to hear. Boy, this thing works great.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Eddie and Lou interrogate Moe with a [[w:polygraph|lie detector]].]''
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in The Simpsons#Eddie and Lou|Eddie]]''': Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
:'''[[w:Moe Szyslak|Moe]]''': No. ''[buzz, red light]'' All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him! ''[ding, green light]''
:'''Eddie''': Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
:'''Moe''': Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. ''[buzz]'' ''A'' date. ''[buzz]'' Dinner with friends. ''[buzz]'' Dinner alone. ''[buzz]'' Watching TV alone. ''[buzz]'' All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog! ''[buzz]'' ... ''[hangs head]'' Sears catalog. ''[ding]'' Now, would you unhook this already, please?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! ''[buzz]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Homer is pointing Chief Wiggum's gun at Mr. Burns's forehead]''
:'''Homer''': Say it, Burns! Say I never shot you! ...before.
:'''Mr. Burns''': ''[unaware]'' Shot? By you my primitive friend, I'm afraid not. Your kind has neither the cranial capacity nor the opposable digits to correctly operate a firearm. The one who shot me was...''[scans the crowd; screams]'' MAGGIE SIMPSON!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Montgomery Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Officers, arrest the baby!
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Yeah, right, pops. No jury in the world is gonna convict a baby... maybe Texas.

==''[[w:Radioactive Man (The Simpsons episode)|Radioactive Man]]''==
:''[Executive producer is looking through Variety magazine to scout out a potential location to film the Radioactive Man movie. He sees full page colorful ads that say &quot;Film New York&quot;, &quot;Film Utah&quot; and &quot;Film Texas&quot; before coming to a small section that says &quot;Flim Springfield&quot;]''
:'''Executive producer''': Wow, look at that ad! This town ''must'' be hot. They don't need a big ad or even correct spelling! ''[buzzes his secretary]'' Get me two tickets to the state Springfield is in!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': [[George Burns]] was right. Show business is a hideous bitch goddess.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': Cheer up, Bart. Milhouse is still going to need a true friend. Someone to tell him he's great. Someone to rub lotion on him. Someone he can hurl whiskey bottles at when he's feeling low.
:'''Bart''': You're right, Lis, I can suck up to him. Like the religious people suck up to God.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Chief Wiggum has given Milhouse's scent to a pack of vicious-looking police dogs. They bolt off, barking and snarling aggressively]'' 
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Ok, we can all stop worrying now. These dogs never fail. 
:'''Kirk Van Houten''': ''[exchanges a worried glance with Luanne]'' But... will they just find Milhouse, or will they find him and kill him?
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Well, they'll... when they find him, they'll um... they'll humm...um...um...um...''[murmuring so quietly he can barely be heard]'' ...bust him... 
:'''Kirk Van Houten''': ''[frowns]'' Uh, excuse me, you didn't answer me. You just trailed off.
:'''Chief Wiggum''': ''[rubs back of neck]'' Yeah. Yeah, I did kinda trail off there, didn't I? ''[laughs nervously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainer Wolfcastle''': ''(as he's hit by a wave of sulfuric acid)'' MY EYES!! The goggles do nothing!!

==''[[w:Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily|Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily]]''==
:''[Homer and Marge enjoy a day at the spa, lounging in a sauna]'' 
:'''Marge''': This is soooo relaxing. Homie, this is a wonderful idea.
:'''Homer''': Hehehe, yeah. If that Mafia guy weren't staring at us, I'd take off my towel.
:'''Mafia Guy''': ''[off-camera]'' Aw don't mind-a me. Look, I do it first.
:''[The sound of a towel dropping to the floor is heard. Homer and Marge stare uncomfortably]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nelson''': ''[dressed up for school pictures]'' I feel like punching myself!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Social Welfare Guy''': ''[to Bart, Lisa and Maggie]'' Now just relax, kids. All were doing is taking you to… ''[ominously]'' a foster home!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart and Lisa have been taken by Social Welfare and are taken to the Flanders' house.]''
:'''Homer''': We leave you the kids for three hours and the county takes them away?!
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Okay, don't panic! To find Flanders, you just have to think like Flanders...
:'''Homer's brain''': ''I'm a big four-eyed lame-o. I wear the same stupid sweater everyday at--''
:'''Homer''': The Springfield River!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Wow, Dad, you took a baptismal for me. How do you feel?
:'''Homer''': ''[blissfully]'' Oh, Bartholomew, I feel like [[w:St. Augustine of Hippo|St. Augustine of Hippo]] after his conversion by [[w:Ambrose of Milan|Ambrose of Milan]].
:'''[[w:Ned Flanders|Ned]]''': Wait! Homer, what did you just say?
:'''Homer''': ''(nastily)'' '''I SAID, &quot;SHUT YOUR UGLY FACE, FLANDERS!!&quot;'''
:'''Ned''': Oh, fair enough.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ned Flanders''': ''[greeting Bart and Lisa]'' Hi-dilly ho, neglect-a-renos!

==''[[w:Bart Sells His Soul|Bart Sells His Soul]]''==
:'''[[w:Reverend Timothy Lovejoy|Reverend Lovejoy]]''': I know one of you is responsible for this, so repeat after me: If I withhold the truth may I go straight to hell, where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola...
:'''[[w:Ralph Wiggum|Ralph Wiggum]]''': ''[scared]'' Where fiery demons will punch me in the back...
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': ''[nonchalant]'' Where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers...
:'''[[w:Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]]''': ''[clearly nervous]'' Where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds...
:''[A raven outside crows menacingly.]''
:'''Milhouse''': Bart did it! That Bart, right there!
:'''Bart''': ''[angry]'' Milhouse!
:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': Milhouse, you did the right thing. Bart, come with me for punishment. ''[grabs Bart, then reaches back for Milhouse]'' You too, snitchy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart and Milhouse start cleaning the organ pipes as Reverend Lovejoy leaves]''
:'''Bart''': You shank! How could you tell on me?!
:'''Milhouse''': Well, I didn't want hungry birds pecking my soul forever.
:'''Bart''': &quot;Soul&quot;?! Come on, Milhouse, there's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogeyman or [[Michael Jackson]].
:'''Milhouse''': But every religion says there's a soul, Bart. Why would they lie? What would they have to gain? ''[see Lovejoy using the coin counter with collection money]''
:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': I don't hear scrubbing!
:'''Bart''': Well, if your soul's real, where is it? ''[Milhouse puts his hand on his chest]''
:'''Milhouse''': It's kinda in here... and when you sneeze, that's your soul trying to escape. Saying &quot;God bless you&quot; crams it back in. And when you die, it squirms out and flies away!
:'''Bart''': Uh-huh. What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean?
:'''Milhouse''': Oh, it can swim. It's even got wheels, in case you die in the desert and it has to drive to the cemetery.
:'''Bart''': ''[groans]'' How can someone with glasses that thick be so stupid? Listen, you don't have a soul. ''I'' don't have a soul. There's no such thing as a soul!
:'''Milhouse''': Fine. If you're so sure about that, why don't you sell your soul to me?
:'''Bart''': ''[pause]'' How much ya got?
:'''Milhouse''': Five bucks.
:'''Bart''': ..Deal.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': ''[watching &quot;Itchy &amp; Scratchy&quot;]'' I know that's funny, but I'm just not laughing.
:'''Lisa''': Hmmm, [[Pablo Neruda]] said &quot;Laughter is the language of the soul.&quot;
:'''Bart''': I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Moe''': The deep fryer's here! I got it used from the Navy. You can flash-fry a buffalo in 40 seconds.
:'''Homer''': Forty seconds?! But I want it ''now''!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Pieces of Uncle Moe's family feedbag are being taken away]''
:'''Moe''': Get rid of it all.
:'''Barney''': Hey Moe, you could've at least kept the fire extinguishers.
:'''Moe''': Nah, too many bad memories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nana Van Houten''': A caller at this hour? You dial nine-one, then when I say so, dial one again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Milhouse''': I'm really sorry... I kind of traded your soul to the guy at the comic book store. But look! I got some cool pogs: Alf pogs! Remember Alf? He's back... in pog form!
:'''Bart''': You traded my soul for pogs?! ''[runs out screaming]'' Noooooooo!
:'''Nana Van Houten''': Close that door, you're letting the heat out!
:'''Kirk Van Houten''': Shut up, shut up, shut up!

==''[[w:Lisa the Vegetarian|Lisa the Vegetarian]]''==
:''[the family is having lamb chops for dinner and Lisa has discovered she can't eat them]''
:'''Lisa''': What's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?
:'''Bart''': This one spent two hours in the broiler.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer and Bart are chasing the runaway pig for the barbecue. It rolls through some bushes]''
:'''Homer''': It's just a little dirty, it's still good, it's still good!
:''[the pig passes through traffic, hits a guardrail and falls into a canal with toxic waste drums in it]''
:'''Homer''': It's just a little slimy, it's still good, it's still good!
:''[the pig gets caught in the dam spillway. Water floods behind it until the built-up pressure shoots it through the spillway and rocketing into the distance]''
:'''Homer''': It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!
:'''Bart''': It's gone.
:'''Homer''': I know.
:''[in Mr. Burns' office]''
:'''Mr. Burns''': You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage... when pigs fly!
:''[they both laugh. A moment later the pig sails past the window]''
:'''Smithers''': Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?
:'''Mr. Burns''': No, I'd still prefer not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lisa is using the riding lawnmower to push the barbecue pig out of the yard.]''
:'''Marge''': Bart, no!
:'''Bart''': ''[standing next to her]'' What?
:'''Marge''': Sorry, force of habit. Lisa, no! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
:'''Marge''': ''[sighs]'' Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
:'''Lisa''': Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
:'''Bart''': You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup, homeboy?
:'''Homer''': Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
:'''Marge''': Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
:'''Homer''': Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
:'''Marge''': Homer, you're not-not talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
:'''Homer''': Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
:'''Bart''': Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
:'''Homer''': Bart, go to your room!
:'''Lisa''': Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
:'''Homer''': ''[turns red in anger and gets frustrated]'' I don't need any serving suggestions from ''you''! You barbecue-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all!
:'''Lisa''': ''[angrily]'' THAT'S IT! I can't live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore. I am OUT OF HERE!
:''[Lisa leaves the house and slams the door]''
:'''Homer''': THAT'S IT! GO TO YOUR ROOM!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[later in Storytown Village]''
:'''Father Bear''': &quot;''Somebody's been sleeping in my bed.''&quot;
:'''Mother Bear''': ''&quot;''Somebody's been sleeping in my bed.''&quot;(distorted due to technical problems)''
:'''Baby Bear''': &quot;''Somebody's been sleeping in my bed.''&quot;
:'''Abe''': ''[gets up]'' Well, I'm sorry, but it was 150 degrees in the car!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[at Skinner's office]''
:'''Skinner''': Uh-oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.
:'''Willie''': I WARNED YA!! Didn't I warn ya!? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During &quot;The Meat Council Presents: Meat and You: Partners in Freedom&quot;, Number 3F03 in the &quot;Resistance is Useless&quot; series.]'''
:'''Jimmy''': Mr. McClure, I have a ''crazy'' friend who says it's wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?
:'''[[w:Troy McClure|Troy McClure]]''': ''[laughing]'' No, Jimmy, just ignorant. You see, your crazy friend never heard of the food chain. Just ask this scientitian.
:'''Scientist''': Uhhh...
:'''Troy McClure''': He'll tell you that in nature one creature invariably eats another to survive. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
:'''Jimmy''': Wow, Mr. McClure, I was a Grade A Moron to ever question eating meat.
:'''Troy McClure''': Ha Ha Ha Ha... Yes you were, Jimmy. Yes you were. ''[playfully rubs Jimmy's head]''
:'''Jimmy''': You're hurting me...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lisa is about to dissect a worm in class]'''
:'''Worm''': ''[in a bleating, lamb-like voice]'' Lisa! What did I ever do to you? 
:'''Lisa''': Why does it talk like a lamb?

==''[[w:Treehouse of Horror VI|Treehouse of Horror VI]]''==
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': ''(laughs)'' I've got your doughnut, Lard Lad! And what are ''you'' going to do about it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The [[w:Pep Boys|Zip Boys]] mascots come to life]''
:'''Old Jewish Man''': Fellas! Where are you going at this hour? ''[their heads, being so huge, fall to the ground under their own weight and they drag them away]'' Hey! Don't scratch up them heads!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Seeing a very tall man Chief Wiggum pulls out his gun and shoots him]''
:'''Wiggum''': Aw, they're not so tough.
:'''Lou''': Um...Chief, that wasn't a monster. That was the captain of the high school basketball team.
:'''Wiggum''': Uh, yeah, well, he was turning into a monster, though.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Skinner''': Wheel him out quietly. It's best the children don't see me. ''[Lunchlady Doris wheels Martin out, but Skinner's foot is on the sheet. The sheet is pulled off Martin, and the kids scream at his grotesquely frozen corpse]'' Oh, just get him out of there! ''[picks up the sheet]'' Not into the kindergarten! ''[kindergartners screams are heard]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': Bart, don't you realize what this means? The next time we fall asleep, we could die!
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Abe]]''': Eh, welcome to my world! ''[falls asleep]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer's Brain''': ''[as he enters the 3rd dimension] Oh, glory of glories. Oh, heavenly testament to the eternal majesty of God's creation.''
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Holy macaroni!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lard Lad's giant donut is in the middle of the Simpsons' living room, along with Homer lying in the center of it. The doorbell rings, and Homer is greeted by the angry face of Lard Lad]''
:'''Homer''': Hello? Yes? Oh...if you're looking for that giant donut, uh..Flanders has it. Just go smash open his house. ''[Homer closes the door as loud footsteps trail off]'' He came to life. Good for him. ''[smashing is heard as the screen shakes, and footsteps are heard hurriedly heading back to the Simpsons home. The doorbell rings, Homer answers and is greeted by the same angrier Lard Lad]''
:'''Ned''': ''[running in the background]'' Help me Lord!
:'''Homer''': I told you, Flanders has it! Or Moe. Go kill Moe.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer drives through an alley of Advertisements. Lardlad Donuts is Homer's Favorite]''
:'''Homer''': Ah, the Miracle Mile, where value wears a neon sombrero and there's not a single Church or Library to offend the Eye. There it is! The chain that put the &quot;fat&quot; in &quot;fat Southern Sheriffs&quot;.

===Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': ''[places a dollar on the counter]'' I'd like a colossal donut, please. Just like the one on the sign. ''[Homer is given a regular-sized donut]'' D'oh! Nuts... That's false advertising!
:'''Squeaky-Voiced Teen''': Sorry, sir. No refunds.
:'''Homer''': ''[slowly]'' I paid for a colossal donut, and I'm gonna get a colossal donut! (walks away)
:'''Squeaky-Voiced Teen''': You don't scare us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Radio Announcer''': Astronomers from Tacoma to Vladivostok have just reported an ionic disturbance in the vicinity of the Van Allen belt. Scientists are recommending that all necessary precautions be taken.
:'''Homer''': ''[scoffs]'' Eggheads… What do they know?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Homer puts the giant metal donut in his living room and drinks a beer on top of it in his underwear.]''
:'''Marge''': Homer! Where did you get that?
:'''Homer''': Get what?
:'''Marge''': That giant donut.
:'''Homer''': Well, I acquired it legally. You can be sure of that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kent Brockman''': ''[on TV]'' Good morning, everybody. Panic is gripping Springfield as giant advertising mascots rampage through the city. Perhaps it's part of some daring new ad campaign, but what new product could justify such carnage? ''[behind him, a poster of himself comes to life]'' A cleanser? A fat-free fudge cake that doesn't let you down in the flavor department like so many others? Would... ''[he gets grabbed by his giant doppelganger]'' D-ooh! Let me go...no! Stop! No!
:''[A &quot;Technical difficulties&quot; sign appears]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief Wiggum''': ''[after he shot what he thought was a monster]'' Eh, they're not so tough.
:'''Lou''': Um… Chief, that wasn't a monster; that was the captain of the high school basketball team.
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Uh, yeah... Well, he was turning into a monster, though.
''[At the Simpson house, the doorbell rings]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': Hello? Yes? ''[opens door and sees Lard Lad]'' Oh, it's you… Uh, if you're looking for that donut of yours, um… Flanders has it. Go smash open his house.
:''[Homer shuts the door as Lard Lad leaves.]''
:'''Homer''': ''[to himself]'' He came to life… Good for him.
:''[Loud smashing is heard, then loud thumping and the doorbell; Homer opens the door and sees Lard Lad again.]''
:''Ned'': ''[runs past]'' Help me, Lord!
:'''Homer''': I told you! Flanders has it! …Or Moe. Go kill Moe.
:'''Marge''': Homer! Give him the donut! Once he has it, it will be the end of all this horror!
:'''Homer''': Well, okay… If it will end horror…

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': ''[after Lard Lad continues destroying the town]'' Don't you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?
:'''Marge''': ''[thinks to herself]'' Sometimes...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': These monsters are destroying everything and everyone we hold dear! And you kids should have jackets on.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': If your advertising agency created all those giant characters, you must know how to stop them.
:'''Advertising Man''': Well sir, advertising is a funny thing. If people stop paying attention to it, pretty soon, it goes away.
:'''Lisa''': Like that old woman who couldn't find the beef?
:'''Advertising Man''': Exactly. If you stop paying attention to the monsters, they'll lose their powers.
:'''Lisa''': But people can't help looking at them. They're wrecking the town. ''[Out the window, the monsters wreck the town]''
:'''Advertising Man''': You know, maybe a jingle would help. ''[plays a piano arpeggio, sings]'' Don't watch the mon-- ''[plays another arpeggio]'' Don't watch the...monsters-s-s. ''[chuckles]'' Well, it'll sound a lot better coming out of Paul Anka.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Hey, Springfield! Are you suffering from the heartbreak of...Monster-itis? Then take a tip from Mr. Paul Anka!
:'''Paul Anka''': ''[singing]'' To stop these monsters 1-2-3, Here's a fresh new way that's trouble free, It's got Paul Anka's guarantee...
:'''Lisa''': ''[talking]'' Guarantee void in Tennessee.
:'''Paul Anka and Lisa''': ''[singing]'' Just don't look! Just don't look! Just don't look! Just don't look!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': It worked! They're all dead.
:'''Bart''': Well, except for chubsy-ubsy over there.
:''[everyone turns and gasps and Lard Lad tempts Homer with the giant donut]''
:'''Homer''': Mmm...sprinkles.
:'''Marge''': Homer! Stop looking.
:'''Lisa''': Don't make us poke your eyes out, Dad. ''[they drag him away]''
:'''Homer''': ''[groaning]'' Oh!
:''[Lard Lad collapses]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kent Brockman''': Even as I speak, the scourge of advertising could be heading toward your town! Lock your doors, bar your windows, because the next advertisement you see could destroy your house and eat your family!
:'''Homer''': We'll be right back.

===Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[In Bart's dream]''
Bart: OK, boy: catch the Frisbee. (Santa's Little Helper does so) Good catch, boy!
:'''Santa's Little Helper''': ''[taking the Frisbee from his mouth]'' Thanks, Bart. ''[throws it at him; it hits Bart in the face; Bart does a flip; &quot;NO SALE&quot; appears in his eyes and birds fly around his head]'' Oh, hard luck.
:''[Bart shakes his head to clear it, then spots Groundskeeper Willie dressed as Freddy Krueger, holding a rake]''
:'''Bart''': ''[screams as his eyes bulge out]''
:''[Groundskeeper Willie brandishes the rake; Bart holds up a &quot;Yipes!&quot; sign]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': Glad to rake your acquaintance. ''[laughs evilly; swipes at Bart, who wakes up yelling]''
:'''Bart''': ''[sighs]'' Ohh...it was only a dream. ''[sees the scrapes on his stomach and yells again]''
:'''Homer''': Bart! Is that you?
:'''Bart''': Yes!
:'''Homer''': Take out the garbage.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': ''[talking about his dream]'' And then he raked me across the chest! And the weirdest thing was, it was that school janitor who mysteriously disappeared: Groundskeeper Willie!
:'''Lisa''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, my God! Bart, Groundskeeper Willy was in my nightmare too! ''[holds open hand]'' But he got me with hedge clippers. ''[her hair is missing two spikes]''
:'''Nelson''': ''[gleaming]'' He ran his floor buffer over me.
:'''Principal Skinner''': ''[walking up, chuckling]'' Children, I couldn't help monitoring your conversation. There's no mystery about Willie. Why, he... simply disappeared. Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs. Krabappel''': Remember, class, the worse you do on this standardized test, the more funding the school gets. So don't knock yourselves out. You have three hours to...
:'''Martin''': Finished!
:'''Mrs. Krabappel''': ''[grunts]'' Then put your head down on your desk and sit quietly.
:'''Martin''': Ah, a duet of pleasures. ''[does so]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In Martin's dream, he's dressed as a wizard]''
:'''Martin''': I am the wondrous wizard of Latin! I am a dervish of declension and a conjurer of conjugation, with a million hit points and maximum charisma. ''[spots a blackboard with verbs written all over it]'' Aha! &quot;Morire&quot;: to die. &quot;Morit&quot;: he, she, or it dies.
:''[Groundskeeper Willie morphs out of the blackboard; Martin gasps]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': &quot;Moris&quot;: you die.
:'''Martin''': ''[screams and runs off]''
Groundskeeper Willie: (laughs) You've mastered a dead tongue, but can you handle a live one? ''[his tongue shoots out of his mouth, wraps around Martin, and squeezes him]''
:''[In class, Martin twists and screams, then collapses on the floor dead]''
:'''Nelson''': Ha-ha!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Principal Skinner''': ''[to Lunchlady Doris]'' Wheel him out quietly. It's best the children don't see. ''[Lunchlady Doris starts wheeling out the trolley]''
:''[The sheet which is stuck under Principal Skinner's foot, comes off]''
:'''Children''': ''[seeing Martin's dead body and scream]''
:'''Principal Skinner: Oh, just get it out of here. Not into the kindergarten!
:''[Kindergarteners scream from outside]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Mom! Dad! Martin died at school today!
:'''Marge''': I don't see what that has to do with Groundskeeper Willie.
:'''Bart''': Umm… we didn't mention Groundskeeper Willie, Mom.
:'''Marge''': Kids, it's time we told you the true story and put your fears to rest. It's a story of murder and revenge from beyond the grave.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': ''[voice over]'' It all started on the 13th hour, of the 13th day, of the 13th month. We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased.
:'''Homer''': ''[shivering, looking at the calendar]'' Oh, lousy Smarch weather. ''[spies the thermostat with a note from Willy over it and reads it]'' &quot;Do not touch. Willie.&quot; Good advice! ''[cranks it]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Principal Skinner''': Our next budget item: $12 for doorknob repair.
:'''Parents''': Nay!
:''[A burning Groundskeeper Willie tries to escape, but the doorknob falls off]''
:'''Principal Skinner''': Recharge fire extinguishers? Now, this is a, uh, free service of the fire department...
:'''Parents''': Nay!
:'''Homer''': Nay.
:''[Groundskeeper Willie tries to use the fire extinguisher, but it's empty; he breaks out of the furnace room and runs into the classroom]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': ''[still on fire]'' Help! Please help me!
:'''Principal Skinner''': Willie, please! Mr. Van Houten has the floor.
:'''Kirk Van Houten''': Er, I, for one, would like to see the cafeteria menus in advance so parents can adjust their dinner menus accordingly. I don't like the idea of Milhouse having 2 spaghetti meals in one day.
:''[Groundskeeper Willie explodes into flame and screams for a few seconds; the parents turn to watch]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': ''[looking like a skeleton]'' You'll pay for this...with your children's blood!
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Oh, right. How are you going to get them? Skeleton power?
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': I'll strike where you cannot protect them... in their dreams!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Bart! Do you realize what this means? The next time we fall asleep, we could die!
:'''Grampa''': Heh! Welcome to my world! ''[falls asleep and snores]''
:''[Bart and Lisa try hard to stay awake that night. Lisa gives Maggie a Buzz Cola to drink while the three children watch &quot;Asian Market Wrapup.&quot;]''
:'''TV Announcer''': There's a volcano waiting to erupt in the Pacific Rim. Its name: medium-term convertible debentures.
:'''Lisa''': It's no use, Bart. We can't stay up forever.
:'''Bart''': You're right. The only thing left to do is go into my dream and force Willie into a final showdown. You stay awake, and if it looks like I'm in trouble, wake me up.
:'''Lisa''': OK. But promise you won't be grouchy.
:'''Bart''': Hey, Lawn Boy! You missed a spot! ''[motions to the sandbox]''
:'''Groundskeeper Willie''': When I'm done with you, they'll have to do a compost-mortem!

===Homer3 (Homer Cubed)===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': ''[In echo voice]'' Hello? Can anybody hear me?
:'''Marge''': Homer, where are you?
:'''Homer''': Uhhh... I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am!
:'''Marge''': Do you see towels? If you see towels, you're probably in the linen closet again.
:'''Homer''': Just a second! ... No, it's a place I've never been before!
:'''Patty''': Heh, the shower! ''[Patty and Selma laugh]''
:'''Homer''': Hey!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lisa''': Well, where's my Dad?
:'''Frink''': Well, it should be obvious to even the most dim-witted individual who holds an advanced degree in hyperbolic topology, n'gee, that Homer Simpson has stumbled into... the third di-mension.
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Enough of your borax, Poindexter! A man's life is at stake. We need action!
:''[Wiggum takes out his gun and fires into the wall]''
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Take that, you lousy dimension!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': That does it! I'm going in there!
:'''Marge''': Bart! No!!
:''[Bart runs into the dimension, but Marge catches him and fails. He keeps running until he turns 3D too and looks around]''
:'''Bart''': Cool man! 
:''[the camera rotates and zooms out into a bird's-eye view of the green grid, Homer is nearing the edge of the green grid]''
:'''Homer''': Oh my God! I'm gonna be sucked into a black hole! I'm gonna be sucked into oblivion! And what's gonna become of me of the other side? I don't know!
:'''Bart''': I'll save you, dad. 
:''[Bart climbs onto the XYZ street sign]''
:'''Bart''': I can't get any closer. You'll have to jump!
:'''Homer''': Piece of cake, son.
:''[runs into a hole, breaks into pieces]''
:'''Homer''': Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap--
:'''Bart''': Aaaaaaaaah! 
:''[the world exploses as Bart gets pulled back]''

==''[[w:King-Size Homer|King-Size Homer]]''==
:'''Dr. Nick''': Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
:'''Bart''': You could brush your teeth with milkshakes.
:'''Dr. Nick''': Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Homer''': Bart and Lisa have to go to school while I get to stay ho-ome, na-na-na-na-na!
:'''Lisa''': I like school.
:'''Homer''': Well, why don't you live in it then?
:'''Lisa''': I would if I could.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart fantasizes about being a &quot;lardo on workman's comp&quot; like Homer.]''
:'''Bart''': ''[showing a rag on a stick]'' [[What's Eating Gilbert Grape?|(southern accent) I wash myself with a rag on a stick.]]
:''[The members of the press all applaud Bart.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': &quot;Explosion imminent&quot;. ''[scrolls back through text, sees gas wasn't vented]'' Oh, my God! The plant's going to explode!
:''['''Power Plant.''' Carl and Lenny walk past the rumbling tank without a clue]''
:'''Carl''': Hey, that thing's going caca-cuckoo.
:'''Lenny''': Who cares? It's Homer's problem.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': Wait! I know! ''[types]'' Vent gas. &quot;Pressure too high&quot;? &quot;Tank must be shut down manually&quot;? ''[to drinking bird]'' Oh, stupid bird! I never should have put you in charge! ''[strangles it a bit]'' Why you... Oh, who am I kidding? It's all my fault! ''[the bird nods]'' I gotta call the plant and warn them! ''[grabs phone, but his index finger is so fat that it depresses several keys at once]''
:'''Recording''': ''The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.''
:'''Homer''': Ahhh! ''[runs to the car]'' I'm going to have to shut it down myself. Fat, don't fail me now! ''[jumps in car; tires blow out]'' D'oh! ''[jumps on skateboard; snaps in half]'' Oh-oh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer is driving a stolen ice-cream truck towards the cooling tower, with several power plant employees clinging to the sides.]''
:'''Homer''': Get away, damn it! Run for your lives!
:'''Worker 1''': I'll take a rocket pop!
:'''Worker 2''': What can I get for thirty cents?!
:'''Homer''': Let go! I've got to get to the tank! ''[the truck crashes and tips on its side; Homer runs out]''
:'''Worker 3''': Heck, I can't decide without the pictures.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': ''[leading an exercise]'' Push out the jive... bring in the love...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Homer, your quick-thinking and bravery have turned a potential [[w:Chernobyl disaster|Chernobyl]] into a mere [[w:Three Mile Island|Three Mile Island]]. Bravo!
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': I think it's ironic that Dad's girth saved the day, while a slimmer man would have fallen to his death.
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': And I think it's ironic that, for once, Dad's butt actually prevented the release of toxic ga-
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Bart!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines of episode]''
:'''Mr. Burns''': Now Homer, if there is anything else I can do for you, please let me know. ''[Homer looks at his family, and realizes his obesity is making life hard for them]''
:'''Homer''': Can you please make me thin again?
:'''Mr. Burns''': I guarantee it.
:''[Nighttime. Homer and Burns are out in the exercise yard. Homer strains, trying to to a sit-up.]''
:'''Mr. Burns''': 1. ''1. '''1!''' [throws down his megaphone in frustration]'' Bah! I'll just pay for the blasted liposuction.
:'''Homer''': Woo-hoo!

==''[[w:Mother Simpson|Mother Simpson]]''==
:''[After Homer has seemingly been sucked to his death in a hydro-electric turbine]''
:'''[[w:Mr. Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Smithers, who was that corpse?
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Homer Simpson, sir. ''[tearfully]'' One of the finest, bravest men to ever grace Sector 7-G... ''[calmly]'' I'll cross him off the list.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer clears the moss away from the headstone of what he thinks is his mother's grave.]''
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Oh, Mom, I'm sorry I never visit, I'm just not a cemetery person. ''[reads tombstone engraving]'' &quot;Here...lies...&quot;
:''[He clears the last of the moss away. The name on the stone is [[Walt Whitman]]. Homer is enraged.]''
:'''Homer''': Walt Whitman?! Arrrrgggghh!!! Damn you, Walt Whitman! ''[kicking the stone]'' I-hate-you-Walt-freaking-Whitman! ''[[Leaves of Grass]]'', my ass!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The FBI storm the Simpson house, looking for Mona.]''
:'''Friday''': Freeze. FBI. The jig is up.
:'''Grandpa''': Alright, I admit it: I am the [[w:Lindbergh baby|Lindbergh baby]]! Wah! Wah! Goo-goo. I missed my fly-fly, dada!
:'''Friday''': Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?
:'''Grandpa''': A little from column A, a little from column B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief Wiggum''': ''[Reading Homer's tombstone upside down]'' Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Yea, better start with Greek Town.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mona and Abe meet for the first time since Mona has come back]''
:'''Mona''': Oh, Abe... you've aged terribly. 
:'''Grampa''': ''[to Mona]'' Well, what do you expect?! You left me to raise the boy on my own!
:'''Mona''': ''[to Grampa]'' I had to leave! You didn't have to tell Homer I was dead!
:'''Grampa''': It was either that, or tell him his mother was a ''wanted criminal''! You were a rotten wife, and I'll never, ''ever'' forgive you! ''(beat)'' Can we have sex? Please?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In the post office]''
:'''Mr. Burns''': Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the [[w:Prussia|Prussia]]n consulate in [[w:Siam|Siam]] by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 [[w:autogyro|autogyro]]?

&lt;hr width= &quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mona''': ''[as she is leaving]'' Don't worry, Homer. You will always be a part of me. ''[hits her head on the van]'' ''D'oh!''

==''[[w:Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming|Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming]]''==
:''[As the Simpsons enter the air show the squeaky voiced teen is standing at the gate in an Air Force uniform, directing traffic.]''
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Way to guard the parking lot, top gun.
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in The Simpsons#Squeaky-Voiced Teen|Squeaky-Voiced Teen]]''': I have three medals for this!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hapablap''': What in the world according to Garth?  Those are my dress towels.  Who's in my private washroom?  McGuckett, let me in!
:'''Sideshow Bob''': The door already is closed.
:'''Hapablap''': What?!  This is Colonel Leslie &quot;Hap&quot; Hapablap!  If you don't open that door, I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot party!
:'''Sideshow Bob''': You say you're in the military?
:'''Hapablap''': Sweet Enola Gay, son!  I'm gonna come in there and corpse you up!  Corpse you up and mail you to mama!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Guard''': Authorization code.
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Code?!  Son, this is Colonel Hapablap!  This fool McGuckett sprayed runway foam all over Chuck Yeager's Acura!  Now get down there with the chamois triple-time!
:'''Guard''': But Colonel, I'm under restricted orders...
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Sweet Enola Gay, son!  Get moving or I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot party.
:'''Guard''': Sir, right away, sir!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart and Grandpa come across the Wright Brothers' airplane.]''
:'''Bart''': Look at that hunk of junk.
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': ''[sputters]'' You're ignorant! That's the Wright Brothers' plane! In Kitty Hawk in 1903, [[w:Charles Lindbergh|Charles Lindbergh]] flew it 15 miles on a thimble full of corn oil. Single-handedly won us the Civil War, it did.
:'''Bart''': How do you know so much about history, Grandpa?
:'''Grandpa''': I pieced it together, mostly from sugar packets.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Sideshow Bob|Sideshow Bob]]''': ''[speaking on a large TV screen]'' Hello, Springfield. Sorry to divert your attention from all the big noises and shiny things. But something's been troubling me lately: television! Wouldn't our lives be so much richer if television were done away with?
:'''[[w:Moe Syzslak|Moe]]''': What?
:'''[[w:Julius Hibbert|Dr. Hibbert]]''': Surely he's not talking about VH1.
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Why, we could revive the lost arts of conversation...and scrimshaw. Therefore I submit to you, we abolish television...permanently!
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Oh, and one more thing-- I've stolen a nuclear weapon. And if you do not rid this city of television in two hours, I will detonate it. Farewell. ''[Bob cuts the link, then turns it back on]'' By the way, I'm well aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Joe Quimby|Mayor Quimby]]''': Our city will ''not'' negotiate with terrorists. Is there a city nearby that will?
:'''Colonel''': No need, sir. We'll find that head case faster than Garfield finds lasagne. ''[pause]'' Oh..I'm..sorry. My wife thought that was gang busters.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Colonel''': Not the [[w:Harrier jump jet|Harrier]]! We've got a war tommorow.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Milhouse''': ''[sitting in the cockpit of an [[w:F-15 Eagle| F-15]] and pretending to fire its weapons]'' Take that Mom! ''[presses a button]'' Take that Dad! ''[presses another]'' Send me to a psychiatrist, will you?! Take that, Dr. Sally Waxler! ''[presses several buttons in rapid succession, is suddenly and violently ejected from the cockpit. Plummets into a snack bar in the background of the next scene]''

==''[[w:The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular|The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]]''==
:'''Troy McClure''': Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such Fox Network specials as &quot;Alien Nose Job&quot; and &quot;Five Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show.&quot; Tonight we're here to honor America's favorite non-prehistoric cartoon family.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Troy McClure''': Right about now, you're probably saying, &quot;Troy, I've seen every Simpson's episode. You can't show me anything new.&quot; ''[harsh]'' Well, you got some attitude, mister!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Deleted scene from [[w:Treehouse of Horror IV|Treehouse of Horror IV]].]''
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': I'd sell my soul for a Formula 1 racing car.
:''[Devil Flanders appears with a Formula 1 racing car.]''
:'''[[w:Ned Flanders|Devil Flanders]]''': Heh, heh, heh, that can be arranged.
:'''Bart''': Changed my mind, sorry.
:''[Devil Flanders vanishes.]''
:'''Bart''': Cooooool...
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Bart, stop pestering [[w:Satan|Satan]]!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Deleted scene from [[w:Burns' Heir|Burns' Heir]].]''
:'''Homer''': Bart, you're coming home!
:'''Bart''': I wanna stay here with Mr. Burns!
:'''Mr. Burns''': ''(threateningly)'' I suggest you leave immediately.
:'''Homer''': Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead: Do your worst!
:'''Mr. Burns''': &quot;My worst,&quot; eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons!
:''(Smithers pulls a lever on the side of the house. A door on the side of the stairs slides up, revealing a pear-shaped robot in a tank top and short-shorts with Richard Simmons' hair and voice. The robot walks up to Homer)''
:'''Robotic Simmons''': Come on, big boys! Shake the butter off those buns!
:''(A speaker slides out the side of his head, blaring &quot;Shake Your Booty&quot; by K.C. and the Sunshine Band. The robot begins disco dancing and Homer tries to back away from him; Homer then runs screaming from Burns' manor; as Burns, Bart, and Smithers keep watching, they turn and find the robotic Simmons right next to them, still dancing and still playing &quot;Shake Your Booty&quot;)''
:'''Robotic Simmons''': Come on, come on, now. Shake, shake, shake. ''(continues dancing)''
:'''Mr. Burns''': Smithers, he's out of control!
:'''Smithers''': I'll take him out, sir. ''(extracts his shotgun from his jacket pocket and shoots the robot square in the eye; the blown out eye [[w:Terminator 2: Judgement Day|reforms]] and the robot continues dancing, only this time, the music is warped and the robot begins shaking violently)''
:'''Smithers''': His ass is gonna blow!
:''(Smithers, Burns, and Bart run screaming back into the house as the Robotic Simmons explodes, his head landing miles away at the mansion's front gate)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[One of the false endings to [[w:Who Shot Mister Burns|Who Shot Mister Burns?]].]''
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': And, with your last ounce of strength, you pointed to W and S, Waylon Smithers.
:''[People gasp upon seeing Smithers is the one who shot Mr. Burns.]''
:'''[[w:Mr. Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Smithers, for attempting to kill me, I am giving you a 5% pay cut.
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Aww!
:'''[[w:Troy McClure|Troy McClure]]''': But, of course, for that ending to work, you would have to [[w:O.J. Simpson murder case|ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence]] ''(chuckles)'' and that would be downright nutty!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Troy McClure''': Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts. Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable?

==''[[w:Marge Be Not Proud|Marge Be Not Proud]]''==
:'''Bart''': Buy me Bonestorm or Go to Hell!
:'''Marge''':''[angry over his profanity]'' BART!
:'''Homer''': Young man, in this house we use a little word called Please.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[as Bart contemplates stealing a copy of ''Bonestorm'', he imagines several video game characters talking to him]''
:'''[[w:Luigi|Luigi]]''': Go ahead, Bart. Take-a the ''Bonestorm''.
:'''[[w:Mario|Mario]]''': The store, she's so rich! She'll-a never notice!
:'''[[w:Donkey Kong|Donkey Kong]]''': Duh, it's the company's fault for makin' ya want it so much.
:'''Lee''': Don't do it, son. How's that game gonna help your putting?
:'''[[w:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic]]''': Just take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! TAKE IT!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Det. Don Brodka''': If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A nervous Bart is seen getting dressed in his bedroom and he imagines Det. Brodka on the other side of the mirror.]''
:'''Det. Don Brodka''': If you ever step foot in this store again, you'll be spending Christmas in juvenile hall. Juvenile Hall! Juvenile Hall!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart imagines spending Christmas in juvenile hall with the bullies]''
:'''Guard''': Stand behind the yellow line. You will now receive your gift donated by the port of authority lost and found office. Pass your chip to Santa to receive your Christmas present. If you do not have a chip, you will not receive a gift.
:'''Jimbo''': Whoa, the March Aid newspaper.
:'''Nelson''':''[receiving a carpet samples book]'' Cool, a book of carpet samples.
:'''Bart''': Come on new bike. ''[drops his chip in and is disappointed when he receives a dirty wig]'' Aw, a soiled wig.
:'''Santa''': Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lee Carvallo's putting challenge during the closing credits.]''
:'''Lee Carvallo''': Welcome to ''Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge''. I am Carvallo. Now, choose a club.
:You have selected... 3-wood. May I suggest a putter?
:3-wood. Now select force of swing. I suggest feather touch.
:You have entered '''''Power Drive'''''! Now, push 7-8-7 to swing.
:Ball is in... parking lot. Would you like to play again?
:You have selected no.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart sees a sign saying &quot;Bonestorm - 99 cents.&quot; He rushes inside.]''
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': I'd like to buy a copy of ''Bonestorm''. Here's 99 cents.
:'''[[w:Comic Book Guy|Comic Book Guy]]''': ''[sighs]'' Allow me to summarize the proposed transaction. You wish to purchase ''Bonestorm'' for 99 cents. Net profit to me: negative 59 dollars. ''[opens the cash register]'' Please take my 59 dollars, I don't want it, it's yours. ''[Bart reaches forward to take the cash.]'' Eh-eh-eh--! Seeing as you are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I shall close the cash register at this point, and state that 99 cents is the ''rental price''.
:'''Bart''': Then may I please rent it, ''please?''
:'''Comic Book Guy''': No, you may not. I am all out, though I do have a surprising abundance of ''Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]]''': This is great, and all I've done is enter my name - Thrillhouse! ''[TV screen shows 'WELCOME THRILLHO']''
:'''Bart''': ''[walking in]'' Say, cool dude, can I play too?
:'''Milhouse''': Uh, uh... it's only a one player game.
:'''Bart''': Then how come it says 'second player score'?
:'''Milhouse''': Mom, Bart's swearing!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': Hey, how come you're not playing 'Bonestorm'?
:'''Milhouse''': Ehh... it got boring. I'm really into this cup and ball now! ''[laughing]'' You never know which way this crazy ball's gonna go!
:'''Bart''': Yeah, right. You're just trying to trick me because you don't want me playing your video game.
:'''Milhouse''': ''[giving Bart the video game]'' Here, go ahead.
:'''Bart''': No, let me try the cup and ball.
:'''Milhouse''': Get your own!
:'''Bart''': Come on! Don't be a cup-and-ball hog!
:'''Milhouse''': Hey! Give it! That's mine!
:''[Bart and Milhouse fight for the cup-and-ball.]''
:'''Milhouse''': MOM! BART'S SMOKING!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': What's the matter with your face? Is that a fake nose? Are you wearing chin putty?
:'''Bart''': I don't have to listen of these wild allegations! ''(nose putty falls off and lands near Santa's Little Helper. He eats it)''
:'''Marge''':''[removes the chin putty and hat off Bart]'' Please, Bart, no more pranks. It would mean so much to me if we could have just one nice family photo. 
:''[She shows Bart three of their last Christmas photos with his previous misbehaviors: one with Bart making a cross-eyed funny face, another with Bart using a comb to simulate a Hitler mustache, and a third with Bart holding a cardboard speech bubble that reads, &quot;I stink!&quot; next to Homer.]''
:'''Homer''': Hey, I don't remember saying that!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Marge exits the bathroom and joins Homer who's wearing half-moon glasses. He has found a proper punishment for Bart, while she is still distraught by his shoplifting at Try 'n' Save.]''
:'''Homer''': I've figured out the boy's punishment. First, he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no egg nog. In fact, no nog, period. And third, absolutely no stealing for three months.
:'''Marge''': I always thought I understood my special little guy, but somewhere along the road, his hand slipped away from mine.
:''[looks at a handprint of &quot;Bart, age 4&quot;]''
:'''Homer''': Ehh, what are you going to do?
:''[Marge looks over Homer's notepad, which reveals a drawing of a robot cooking a hot dog over a flaming trash can. Still, she is depressed over the whole shoplifting episode.]''
:'''Marge''': [pause] Mmm. He's not my little baby anymore. Maybe I mother him too much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Brodka yanks Bart by the collar of his suit as the picture is being taken and takes him to the side. He is extremely angered at the boy for violating their deal in returning to the store.]''
:'''Det. Don Brodka''': I thought I told you. Don't Return For Busted Merchandise.
:'''Homer''': What are you doing to my son?!
:'''Det. Don Brodka''': I'm afraid your son broke the 11th Commandment: Thou Shall Not Steal.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart desperately tries to stop Brodka from showing the security tape of him shoplifting Bonestorm by standing in front of the big screen TV.]''
:'''Bart''': Mom, I don't want you to see this. I did it.
:''[His timing is off, and everyone sees him taking the game and hiding it in the jacket. Everyone is in shock, including Marge and Lisa, while Homer is enraged.]''
:'''Lisa''': Bart, I would never expected this from you.
:'''Marge''':''[disheartened]'' Oh, Bart.

==''[[w:Team Homer|Team Homer]]''==
:'''[[w:Moe Szyslak|Moe]]''': You go through life, you try be nice to people, you resist the urge to punch 'em in the face, and for what? For some pimply little puke to treat you like dirt! Well, I'm better than dirt! Well... most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Mom, my slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck.
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Bart, where do you pick up words like that?
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': ''[on phone]'' Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
:'''Marge''': Homer, watch your mouth!
:'''Homer''': Aw, I gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening. ''[hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': I would like to join your bowling team.
:'''Homer''': You want to join my what?
:'''Smithers''': You want to what his team?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': Hey, everybody! If you wanna ask Burns for a favor, now's the time! He's doped up or dying or something! ''[Hans Moleman enters Burns' office]''
:'''Hans''': Uh, excuse me, I'd like to request $17 for a push-broom rebristling.
:'''Burns''': Why, it's that delightful TV leprechaun! I'm going to get your Lucky Charms. ''[pulls out a drill and points it at Moleman's head.]''
:'''Hans''': ''[offscreen]'' Oh no, my brains...

==''[[w:Two Bad Neighbors|Two Bad Neighbors]]''==
:'''[[George H. W. Bush|George Bush]]''': Oh, if he thinks George Bush'll stay out of the sewer, he doesn't know George Bush.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': He spanked you? ''[He's angry and points at Bart.]'' You? Bart Simpson?
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': I begged him to stop, but he said it was for the good of the nation.
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. [[Grover Cleveland]] spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions.
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Grampa, I know in your day, spanking was common, but Homer and I just don't believe in that kind of punishment.
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': And that's why your no-good kids are running wild!
:''[He points over at Lisa, in a beanbag chair, reading. She looks up, confused.]''
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': First, Bush invades my home turf, then he takes my pals, then makes fun of the way I talk -- probably. Now, he steals my right to raise a disobedient, smart-alecky son! WELL, THAT'S IT!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Homer watches Bush go jogging past with Reverend Lovejoy, Dr. Hibbert, and Lenny]''
:'''Homer''': Huh. Look at those phonies, sucking up to Bush. ''[Santa's Little Helper barks and runs off after them]'' I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush. ''[laughs]''
:'''Homer's Brain''': ''Well there it is, Homer: the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.''
:'''Homer''': D'oh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': ''[picks up a toy pistol]'' Well, we don't need this.
:'''Homer''': ''[ecstatic]'' Whic-- Marge! That's the Rhinestone Nights fashion gun! ''[holds a leather jacket]'' I need it to rhinestone up my old clothing.
:'''Marge''': Who's Disco Stu?
:'''Homer''': Uhh, I wanted to write &quot;Disco Stud&quot;, but I ran out of space. Not that Disco Stu didn't get his share of the action!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Seeing Homer's Disco Stu jacket]''
:'''Man''': Hey Stu, you should buy this.
:'''Disco Stu''': Hey, Disco Stu doesn't advertise.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Homer''': ''[singing, to the tune of &quot;[[w:Big Spender|Big Spender]]&quot;]'' Hey big spender! Dig this blender! Rainbow suspenders! Hey big spender!
:'''Crowd''': ''[singing]'' We surrender!
:'''Homer''': ''[singing]'' Spe-e-e-e-e-end some dough at table three!
:''[crowd applauds]''
:'''Homer''': Thank you neighbors, thank you! Now let's give it up for table five! ''[singing, to the tune of &quot;[[w:Stayin' Alive|Stayin' Alive]]&quot;]'' Ah, ah, ah, ah, table five, table five! Ah, ah, ah, ah, table fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-ive...
:'''Stu''': ''[after Homer stops]'' Disco Stu likes disco music. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Homer:''' For the last time Bush, apologize for spanking my boy!
:'''Bush:''' Never. You make him apologize for destroying my memoirs.
:'''Homer:''' ''[to Bart]'' You didn't tell me you destroyed his memoirs. NEVER!

==''[[w:Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield|Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield]]''==
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Look at these low, low prices on famous brand-name electronics!
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Don't be a sap, Dad. These are just crappy knock-offs!
:'''Homer''': Pfft! I know a genuine [[w:Panasonic|Panaphonics]] when I see one. And look, there's [[w:Magnavox|Magnetbox]] and [[w:Sony|Sorny]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer has taken up golf as a hobby and is practicing hitting golf balls into the commodes in the men's room at the nuclear plant, which is clandestinely being observed by Mr. Burns and Smithers on their surveillance cameras.]''
:'''[[w:Mr. Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Smithers, who is that lavatory linksman?
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Homer Simpson, sir. From Sector 7-G.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Simpson, eh? Well, invite him to the country club. I believe I finally may have a challenge in golf. I have not lost a game since I let [[Richard Nixon]] win during his beleaguered second term.
:'''Smithers''': That was very thoughtful of you, sir.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his ''[imitating Nixon]'' &quot;Ohhh, I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me alive!&quot; ''[normal voice]'' Say, I wonder if this Homer Nixon is of any relation?
:'''Smithers''': Unlikely sir, as they spell and pronounce their names differently.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': But Marge... valets! For once maybe someone will call me &quot;sir&quot; without adding &quot;You're making a scene.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Use an open faced club. A ''[[w:sand wedge|sand wedge]]''.
:'''Homer''': Mmm, open faced [[w:club sandwich|club sandwich]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer is putting the wrong score on his card]''
:'''[[w:Tom Kite|Tom Kite]]''': Hey the point of cheating at golf is to lower your score.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After making a great shot]''
:'''Tom Kite''': Great shot Homer.
:'''Homer''': You really think so?
:'''Tom''': Yeah. Now all you need is your own set of clubs. '''And stay the hell out of my locker!''' You can keep the shoes.

==''[[w:Bart the Fink|Bart the Fink]]''==
:'''Bart''': Boy, I sure could go for a hundred tacos right about now.
:'''Marge''': No! ''[yanks Bart. Comic Book Guy exits with a wheelbarrow full of tacos]''
:'''Comic Book Guy''': Yes, this should provide adequate sustenance for the ''[[w:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]]'' marathon.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A series of IRS agents investigate Krusty's check, then place a call to his bank in the [[w:Cayman Islands|Cayman Islands]].]''
:'''Cayman Islands Offshore Holding Corporation Manager''': ''[chuckles]'' Oh, I'm sorry. I can't divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account. ''[hangs up phone]'' ...Oh crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer... Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said it was secret... Oh, crap! I ''certainly'' shouldn't have said it was illegal! ''[sits back, fanning himself]'' Ah, it's too hot today.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Krusty is being audited by the IRS.]''
:'''Krusty''': Oh, I can't go to jail! I got a swanky lifestyle! I'm used to the best!
:'''IRS Agent #1''': Krusty, this is America. We don't send our celebrities to jail; we're just going to garnish your salary.
:'''Krusty''': Garnish my celery?!
:'''IRS Agent #1''': Please, Krusty, no jokes.
:'''Krusty''': Who's joking?! ''[sobs]'' Oh, I don't know what you're saying, it all sounds so crazy to me!
:'''IRS Agent #2''': It simply means we will be taking part of your salary until your debt is repaid. Say, 75% for 40 years.
:'''Krusty''': But I don't plan to live that long!
:'''IRS Agent #1''': Better make it 95%.
:'''Krusty''': Oh-hoh, boy!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Troy McClure|Troy McClure]]''': Hello, I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such celebrity funerals as &quot;[[w:Andre The Giant|Andre The Giant]], We Hardly Knew Ye&quot; and &quot;[[w:Shemp Howard|Shemp Howard]]: Today We Mourn A [[w:Three Stooges|Stooge]].&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Krusty''': Who needs friends!? The incessant beep of the global positioning system is all the companionship I need. ''[The GPS electrocutes Krusty. In a fury, he throws it overboard.]'' Tell me where you are now, you bastard!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Krusty's show has been taken over by the IRS]''
:'''Krusty''': Hey, hey, kids! Now that the feds are calling the shots, this show's gotta be a lot more cost-effective. So we had to cut down on the thrills, like sets, props, costumes and Sideshow Mel. But that doesn't mean we can't have fun! For example, I sure wish someone would give me a banana cream pie! Yeah. Uh...
:''[An IRS agent backstage gestures that they don't have the money]''
:'''Krusty''': I guess we can't afford pies right now. Well throw something!
:''[IRS agent throws his briefcase and it hits Krusty in the eye]''
:'''Krusty''': OW! Oh, the corner hit... ughhhh.... 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Skinner opens his front door and sees his mother with Superintendent Chalmers]''
:'''Skinner''': Mother!
:'''Agnes Skinner''': Seymour!
:'''Skinner''': Superintendent Chalmers!
:'''Chalmers''': Skinner?!
:'''Skinner''': What I wouldn't give for something to distract from this awkward moment...
:''[Krusty flies by in his plane, sobbing and looping out of control.]''
:'''Skinner''': That'll do nicely.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart blows up a Krusty balloon and the face is deformed]''
:'''Bart''': Have you seen this man?
:'''Sea Captain''': Aye, that's Handsome Pete. He dances for nickels.''[Turns to the back door]'' '''Pete, ya got some customers!'''
:''[a dwarf whose face resembles Krusty's comes in and plays an accordion while dancing]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Krusty's plane, the I'm-On-A-Rolla Gay, is being auctioned off. Krusty grabs the mic from the auctioneer and makes an emotional appeal]''
:'''Krusty''': But I love that plane! I used to fly to Vegas in it with Dean Martin! One night he looked out the window, and the moon hit his eye like a big pizza pie! We wrote a song about it! But it ended up infringing on one he'd recorded years before... 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Krusty is sitting on the curb smoking a cigarette and drinking from a bottle in a paper bag. His home and belongings have just all been auctioned off. Bart approaches.]''
:'''Bart''': Krusty? Hi. Is it okay if I sit down here?
:'''Krusty''': Go ahead, kid, knock yourself out. 
:'''Bart''': ''[sits]'' I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, Krusty. But you know, my mom says God never closes a door without opening a window.
:'''Krusty''': Well, no offense kid, but your mom's a dingbat. There's no silver lining here. I was a big cheese. A HUGE CHEESE! But now look at me! I gotta ride the bus like a schnook. I gotta live in an apartment like an idiot. I gotta wait in line with ''nobodies'' to buy ''groceries'' from a ''FAILURE''!
:'''Bart''': It doesn't matter how you live or what you did wrong. As long as you're on TV, people will respect you. 
:'''Krusty''': Respect? BAH! What good is respect without the moolah to back it up? Everywhere I go I see teachers in Ferraris. Research scientists drinking champagne! I tried to drink a Coke on the bus, and they took away my pass! That's no life for a famous clown...
:'''Bart''': Well, if it'll make you feel any better, Krusty, you can punch me in the face.
:''[Bart cringes as Krusty angrily cocks his fist back. For a second it looks as though he'll do it, but he changes his mind.]'' 
:'''Krusty''': Nah, forget it. Go home, kid.

==''[[w:Lisa the Iconoclast|Lisa the Iconoclast]]''==
:'''[[w:Edna Krabappel|Mrs. Krabappel]]''': &quot;Embiggens&quot;? I never heard that word before I came to Springfield.
:'''[[w:Springfield Elementary School#Elizabeth Hoover|Miss Hoover]]''': I don't know why. It's a perfectly cromulent word.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': ''[ringing bell]'' Hear ye, hear ye! Ye olde town crier proclaimed crappy by all! Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world!
:'''[[w:Clancy Wiggum|Chief Wiggum]]''': My God, he is fabulous!
:'''[[w:Seymour Skinner|Principal Skinner]]''': He's embiggened that role with his cromulent performance.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Betsy Ross|Betsy Ross]]''': I got the white stars you wanted, but not the red hearts, yellow moons, and or green clovers.
:'''[[George Washington]]''': Well... I'll use it. But I'm not paying for it!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hollis Hurlbut''': Now get out. You're banned from this historical society. You and your children, and your children's children... for three months.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Mayor Quimby''': Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homer''': I've got two questions. One: Where's the fife? Two: Give me the fife.

==''[[w:Homer the Smithers|Homer the Smithers]]''==
:'''Mr. Burns''': You should've seen the murderous glint in his eyes, Smithers. And his breath reeked of beer and pretzled bread.
:'''Smithers''': I'm so sorry, Mr. Burns. This was all my fault.
:'''Mr. Burns''':  No, don't concern yourself. If things had turned ugly, I always had my mace. ''[motions to an actual mace]''
:'''Smithers''': Don't let me off the hook that easily, sir. I failed you, and I'll never forgive myself! ''[Begins smashing his head against the steering wheel of the limo]'' Never! Never! Never! Never! Never! Never! 
:''[Annoyed, Burns raises the shield between him and Smithers. His car phone rings, and he answers it.]''
:'''Smithers''': ''[through the phone]'' Never! Never! Never!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': ''[yelps as he turns on the lamp]'' 60 watts! What do you think this is, a tanning salon?! I asked for light starch on my nightcap! ''[Homer yelps as he gets poked by his nightcap]'' ''[soaks Homer with his drink]'' You call this [[w:postum|postum]]?! ''[knocks over Homer's stack of paper]'' You call this a tax return?! ''[hits a generator with a crowbar which spews out smoke and sparks of electricity]'' You call this a super computer?! You're a travesty of a joke of an assistant!
:''[Homer screams and knocks Mr. Burns out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Moe''': Moe's Tavern.
:'''Mr. Burns''': I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers. First name Waylon.
:'''Moe''': Ohh. So you're looking for a Mr. Smithers eh? First name Waylon is it? Listen to me you! When I catch you I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove them down your pants! So you can watch me kick the crap out of you okay! Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Smithers''': I have to find someone to replace me while I'm gone who won't outshine me. I'll search the employee database under the word &quot;incompetent&quot;.
:'''Computer''': 714 matches found.
:'''Smithers''': 714 names? I'd better narrow the search. Let's see... &quot;lazy&quot;, &quot;clumsy&quot;, &quot;monstrously ugly&quot;.
:'''Computer''': Searching... 714 matches found.
:'''Smithers''': Eh, nuts to this. I'll just go and get Homer Simpson.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Simpson? Simpson! Did you get that report on the accounting department?
:'''Homer''': Yes sir I did. [pulls out the report] The accounting department is located on the third floor. Its hours are 9AM to 5PM. The head of this department is a Mr.Johnston or Johnstone. [Mr.Burns grabs Homer's report, angrily crumples it up, and drops it]
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Here are your messages: &quot;You have 30 minutes to move your car,&quot; &quot;You have 10 minutes,&quot; &quot;Your car has been impounded,&quot; &quot;Your car has been crushed into a cube,&quot; &quot;You have 30 minutes to move your cube.&quot;
:''[phone rings]''
:'''Homer''': ''[answering]'' Hello, Mr. Burns' office.
:'''[[w:Mr. Burns|Mr. Burns]]''': Is it about my cube?
:'''Homer''': Its Mr. Smithers. He's calling for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Waylon Smithers|Smithers]]''': Montgomery Burns' office. Oh hello, Mrs Burns. I'll see if your son is available.
:'''Homer''': Mr. Burns has a mother? She must be 100 million years old!
:'''Smithers''': ''[to Homer]'' She has limited capacities. All she can do is dial and yell. ''[talks back to Mrs Burns]'' I'm sorry, Monty can't come to the phone right now. He's in a very important meeting and can't be disturbed. ''[shot of Burns trying to avoid falling asleep]'' Uh-huh... okay, I'll give him the message. ''[hangs up]'' Mr. Burns can't stand talking to his mother. He never forgave her for having that affair with [[William Howard Taft|President Taft]].
:'''Homer''': ''[chuckling]'' Taft, you old dog!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Smithers''': ''[enters Moe's Tavern]'' Uh... hello. Got a help wanted sign on the window?
:'''Moe''': Uh, yeah. I need someone to help me with the midnight beer delivery. Your job is to distract Barney until it's safely off the truck.
:'''Smithers''': I'll just wait out back until then.
:'''Barney''': I look forward to working with you!
:'''Homer''': Mr. Smithers wait! You can't let yourself end up in a place like this. You've got two choices. You can give up on yourself and take the Barney-guarding job like so many of us have contemplated in our darkest moments. Or you can admit to yourself that there's only one person that can make you happy and do whatever it takes to get them back!
:'''Smithers''': You're right! But I'm gonna need your help.
:''( the Duff clock strikes 12 and it tolls)''
:'''Moe''': Oh My God!
:'''Truck Driver''': Beer delivery. Just sign here. Oh, No! It's you! 
:''[loud crashing]''
:'''Barney''':[laughing] [Truck Driver: Hey!] Oh boy! [Truck Driver: give me that!] No! [empty metal containers rolling] (burps loudly)

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marge''': Is there something wrong, Homie?
:'''Homer''': No.
:'''Marge''': Except?
:'''Homer''': Except... '''''I killed Mr. Burns!'''''
:'''Lisa''': What happened, Dad?
:'''Homer''': I punched Burns right in his 104-year-old face!
:'''Lisa''': Are you sure he's dead? Maybe you just really, really hurt him.
:'''Marge''': Okay, maybe everything is alright. Maybe if you go apologize, he might not even fire you... if he's alive.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Doughnuts? I told you I don't like ethnic foods.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer is helping Smithers to a taxi with his bags]''
:'''Smithers''': Is there anything else you need to know? ''[gets in]''
:'''Homer''': Uhh... What do I do in case of fire?
:'''Smithers''': ''[The window is rolled up and his voice is muffled]'' Sorry, can't hear you. ''[Taxi starts driving off]'' Good luck.
:''[Homer goes back to Mr. Burns's office which is on fire]''
:'''Homer''': Aww, just my luck.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Burns''': Good Lord Smithers, you look atrocious! I thought I told you to take a vacation.
:'''Homer''': Uh, Smithers already left, sir. I am his replacement, Homer Simpson.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Simpson, eh? Ah yes, I will have my lunch now. A single pillow of shredded wheat, some steamed toast, and a dodo egg.
:'''Homer''': But I think the dodo went extinct.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Get going! And after lunch install a computer system and rotate my office so the window faces the hills!

==''[[w:The Day the Violence Died|The Day the Violence Died]]''==
:'''Chester''': He didn't create Itchy: I did.
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Huh?
:'''Chester''': He stole the character from me in 1928. When I complained, his thugs kicked me out of his office, and dropped an anvil on me. Luckily, I was carrying an umbrella at the time.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Chester and the Simpsons are eating dinner and Chester is staring angrily at Grampa Abe.]''
:'''Abe''': I thought I recognized you!  I gave you a plate of corn muffins back at 1947 to paint my chicken coop, and you never did it!
:'''[[w:Kirk Douglas|Chester]]''': Those corn muffins were lousy!
:'''Abe''': Paint my chicken coop!
:'''Chester''': Make me!
:''[Abe comes across the table and the old men begin fighting.]''
:'''Marge''': That does it! One of them has to go!
:'''Homer''': Okay, Grampa.
:'''Marge''': No, the B-U-M.
:'''Homer''': Oh...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lawyer''': Krusty, have you ever seen this so-called &quot;animation genius&quot; before?
:'''Krusty''': Yes, I have!
:'''Lawyer''': You have?!
:'''Krusty''': I gave him a couple of blintzes to paint my fence, BUT HE NEVER DID IT!
:'''Chester''': Those blintzes were terrible!
:'''Krusty''': PAINT MY FENCE!
:'''Chester''': Make me!
:'''Krusty''': ''[charges at Chester and starts punching him]'' YOU GIVE ME BACK THOSE BLINTZES, THEN!
:'''Snyder''': Order, order!  We don't care about your blintzes!
:''[Krusty frowns at Snyder]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Watching &quot;Amendment To Be&quot;, which has replaced &quot;Itchy &amp; Scratchy&quot;.]''
:'''Bart''': What the hell is this?
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': It's one of those [[Schoolhouse Rock!|campy '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation X'ers.]]
:'''Bart''': We need another [[w:Vietnam War|Vietnam]] to thin out their ranks a little!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Roger Myers, Jr.''': Okay, maybe my dad did steal Itchy. But so what? Animation is built on plagiarism. If it weren’t for someone plagiarizing ''[[The Honeymooners]]'', we wouldn’t have ''[[The Flintstones]]''. If someone hadn’t ripped off ''[[w:Sergeant Bilko|Sergeant Bilko]]'', there’d be no ''[[Top Cat]]''. Huckleberry Hound, Chief Wiggum ''(Chief Wiggum stares at Roger Meyers)'', Yogi Bear, hah! [[Andy Griffith]], [[Edward G. Robinson]], [[w:Art Carney|Art Carney]]. Your Honor, you take away our right to steal ideas, where are they gonna come from? ''[points to Marge in the galley]'' Her?
:'''Marge''': How about...Ghost Mutt?

==''[[w:A Fish Called Selma|A Fish Called Selma]]''==
:'''TV Announcer''': Movie for a Rained-Out Ball Game presents ''The Muppets Go Medieval''. Starring Dyan Cannon and Troy McClure.
:'''Kermit the Frog''': Unhand the swine, thee swain!
:'''Miss Piggy''': Quiet, frog!
:'''Bart''': What's a Muppet?
:'''Homer''': {chuckling} Well it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but...to tell the truth, I don't know.
:'''Troy McClure''': {as black knight} Oh princess fair, wilst thou grant thee thine dainty hoof in marriage?
:'''Bart''': Hey, who is that leathery muppet?
:'''Marge''': He is not a Muppet. That is Troy McClure. Back in the 1970s he was quite the teen heartthrob.
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Troy McClure? That guy's a freak!
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': What are you talking about?
:'''Homer''': You know, his bizarre personal life. Those weird things they say he does down at the aquarium. Why, I heard...
:'''Marge''': Oh, Homer, that's just an urban legend. People don't do that kind of thing with fish!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in The Simpsons#Legs and Louie|Louie]]''': Troy McClure!? You said he was dead!
:'''[[w:Fat Tony|Fat Tony]]''': No, what I said is that he sleeps with the fishes! You see...
:'''Louie''': Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Selma''': ''[to Marge]'' Remember when we were kids, we used to dream about our ideal husbands? Who knew the dream would come true for one of us? ''[uncomfortable pause]'' Oh, come on! Guess which one.
:'''Homer''': I know! I know! It's Selma, right?

==''[[w:Bart on the Road|Bart on the Road]]''==
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Doughnut?
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': No, thanks. Do you have any fruit?
:'''Homer''': This has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Nelson Muntz|Nelson]]''': ''[in awe]'' What is this place?
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': [[w:Branson, Missouri|Branson, Missouri]]. My dad says it's like Vegas... if it were run by Ned Flanders.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer makes a crank call to Moes]''
:'''Homer''': Hello, I'd like to speak to with a Mr. Snotball, first name Eura?
:'''[[w:Moe Syzlak|Moe]]''': Eura Snotball?
:'''Homer''': What?! How dare you?! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': ''[after Lisa tells him about Bart's problem; his face turns a weird shade of red and he is unnervingly calm]'' Yes... that's a real pickle. Would you excuse me for a moment?
:''[He turns to the wall, puts on a radiation suit hood and screams out muffled obscenities, then removes the hood and turns to face Lisa, eerily calm again.]''
:'''Homer''': All right, I have thought this through. I will send Bart the money to fly home, then I will murder him.
:'''Lisa''': No! Then he'll know I told!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Nelson tries to sell Milhouse's glasses in a [[w:Pawnbroker| pawn shop]]]''
:'''Pawnbroker''': These lenses are perfect! Now I can re-bottom those antique Coke bottles. ''[Starts counting money]'' Three hundred, four hundred, five hundred, six hundred... ''[A blind Milhouse knocks over the display of Coke bottles and breaks them]'' ...Five hundred, four hundred, three hundred, two hundred, one hundred, zero!
:''[Kicks them out of the store]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Nelson smacks Milhouse for fiddling with the car's radio too much]''
:'''[[w:Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]]''': OW! Bart, Nelson hit me! 
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': He sure did.

==''[[w:22 Short Films About Springfield|22 Short Films About Springfield]]''==
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in The Simpsons#Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon|Sanjay]]''': I wish you'd come to my party, Apu. You could use some merriment.
:'''[[w:Apu Nahasapeemapetilon|Apu]]''': Listen, serving the customer is merriment enough for me. :''[Bart pays for his gum]'' Thank you, come again. You see? Most enjoyable.
:'''Sanjay''': Oh, I guarantee a wingding of titanic proportions. You will be there or kindly be square.
:'''Apu''': Well, I don't like to leave the store... ''[dusts off a &quot;back in 5 minutes&quot; sign]'' ...but for the next five minutes I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chairman''': Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few complaints against you. :''[reads from clipboard]'' Of the 160 gravest charges, the most troubling are performing major operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant...
:'''[[w:Nick Riviera|Dr. Nick]]''': But I cleaned them with my napkin.
:'''Chairman''': Misuse of the cadavers...
:'''Dr. Nick''': I get here earlier when I drive in the carpool lane.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Moe''': Say Barn. Uh, remember when I said I had to send away to [[w:NASA|NASA]] to calculate your bar tab?
:'''Barney''': [laughs] Oh yeah. We all had a good laugh Moe.
:'''Moe''': The results came back in. [picks up a huge stack of paper and reads it] &quot;You owe me $70 billion.&quot;
:'''Barney''': Hmmm?!
:'''Moe''': Wait no that was for the [[w:Voyager 2|Voyager spacecraft]]. Your tab is $14 billion.
:'''Barney''': All's I got is 2,000 bucks.
:'''Moe''': Well that's halfway there. [puts the money in the cash register just as Snake bursts through the door]
:'''Snake''': Freeze, Dude! Move a muscle and I'll blow this whino's head off!
:''[Moe heads into a room where he is protected]''
:'''Moe''': I'm behind 3 inches of bullet-proof glass. Do your worst!
:'''Snake''': All right. [opens the cash register and takes Moe's money]
:'''Moe''': No! Stay out of there! Oh! Good God! No! [turns on and off the light many times]
:'''Snake''': Ho! Goodbye student loan payments! Ha! Ha! [leaves Moe's Tavern]
:'''Moe''': Come back here you..! Hey I wonder how much air is in here? [faints]

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chalmers''': Well, Seymour I made it-- despite your directions.
:'''Skinner''': Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
:'''Chalmers''': Yes...
:''[Skinner runs to the kitchen, only to find smoke pouring out of the oven. He gasps in horror.]''
:'''Skinner''': Oh ye Gods! My roast is ruined! ''[glances out the window and notices a Krusty Burger across the street]'' But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? ''[chuckles]'' Delightfully devilish, Seymour.
:''[He begins to climb through the window, but Chalmers enters the kitchen]''
:''[title shows &quot;Skinner &amp; the Superintendent&quot;, theme song plays]''
:'''Singers''': ''Skinner with his crazy explanations/The Superintendent's gonna need his medication/When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations/There'll be trouble in town tonight!''
:'''Chalmers''': [yelling] SEYMOUR!!!!
:'''Skinner''': Superintendent! I was just, er, stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
:'''Chalmers''': Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
:'''Skinner''': Uh... ooh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm, steamed clams.
:''[Chalmers leaves the kitchen muttering. Skinner climbs out the window and runs to the Krusty Burger, returning with a platter of hamburgers and fries]''
:'''Skinner''': Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
:'''Chalmers''': I thought we were having steamed clams.
:'''Skinner''': Oh no, I said 'steamed hams'. That's what I call hamburgers.
:'''Chalmers''': You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?
:'''Skinner''': Yes. It's a... regional dialect.
:'''Chalmers''': Uh-huh? What region?
:'''Skinner''': Er, upstate New York?
:'''Chalmers''': Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'.
:'''Skinner''': Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
:'''Chalmers''': I see.
:''[Chalmers takes a bite out of a burger and chews a little, while Skinner sips his drink]''
:'''Chalmers''': You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
:'''Skinner''': Hohoho no! Patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe!
:'''Chalmers''': For steamed hams?
:'''Skinner''': Yes.
:'''Chalmers''': Yes. And you call them steamed hams, despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
:'''Skinner''': Y- Uh.. you know the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second.
:'''Chalmers''': Of course.
:''[Skinner walks into the kitchen, inside which orange flames can be glimpsed, and immediately comes back into the dining room]''
:'''Principal Skinner''': ''[yawning]'' Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
:'''Superintendent Chalmers''': Yes, I should be-- ''[notices the fire]'' Good Lord, what is happening in there?
:'''Skinner''': Aurora Borealis? 
:'''Chalmers''': ''[fed up]'' Uh- Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, ''localized'' '''''entirely''''' ''within your kitchen!?''
:'''Skinner''': ''[cheerful]'' Yes!
:'''Chalmers''': ''[pause]'' May I see it?
:'''Skinner''': ''[pause]'' ...no.
:''[They exit the house. Smoke is pouring out the upstairs windows]''
:'''Agnes''': Seymour! The house is on fire!!
:'''Skinner''': No, mother. Its just the northern lights.
:'''Chalmers''': Well, Seymour you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.
:''[Chalmers leaves]''
:'''Agnes''': Help!!!! HELP!!!!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[ [[w:Snake Jailbird|Snake]] stops at a red light and sees [[w:Chief Wiggum|Chief Wiggum]] crossing the street]''
:'''Wiggum''': Doughnuts, I got doughnuts. I got, hey I know you.
:''[Snake wrecks his car while trying to run him down, then escapes on foot]''
:'''Wiggum''': Hey come back, we gotta swap insurance info.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Apu gets back to the Kwik-E-Mart and unlocks the door]''
:'''Hans Moleman''': You took away 4 minutes of my life and I want them back. ''[pauses]'' Eh, I'd only waste them anyway.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[episode has ended]'' 
:'''Professor Frink''': ''[comes running up holding a sign that says The Tomfoolery of Professor Frink]'' Uh, ah, uh, sorry I'm late. There was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying. One of the monkeys stole the glasses off my head ''[end credits start]'' Uh, no wait, please no, please I have a funny story! I even wrote theme music! ''[sings]'' ''Professor Frink, Professor Frink. He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think. He likes to run and then the thing with the... um, person.....'' Oh boy, that monkey is going to pay.

== ''[[w:Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in &quot;The Curse of the Flying Hellfish&quot;|Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in &quot;The Curse of the Flying Hellfish&quot;]]'' ==
:'''Bart''': Mr. Burns, can you take me with you? I won't eat much and I don't know the difference between right and wrong.
:'''Mr. Burns''': Oh, you're a good boy, but the child labor people have been watching me like a hawk.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': Was that me or was that you?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Martin''': Dickety? Highly dubious!
:'''Abe''': What are you cackling at, fatty?!  Too much pie, that's your problem!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Smithers''': ''(dressed as Bart)'' I'll be in the car, dudes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Grandpa makes a dangerous deep water dive to rescue Bart from being drowned by Mr. Burns.]''
:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Sorry I made you lose the treasure, Grampa.
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': The treasure's not important, boy; the most important thing is that you're safe. Now, let's go get that treasure!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bart is impressed with Grandpa's past heroism.]''
:'''Bart''': Grandpa, do you think I could have been in the Flying Hellfish?
:'''Grandpa''': You're a give-em'-hell daredevil with a never-say-die attitude and a fourth-grade education! You could have made sergeant!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa''': I'd hug you, but I know it would just embarrass you.
:'''Bart''': I don't care who knows I love my grandpa.
:''[They embrace. Suddenly, Baron von Wortzenberger drives up to them]''
:'''Baron von Wurtzenberger''': Hey funboys, get a room!

==''[[w:Much Apu About Nothing|Much Apu About Nothing]]''==
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': What you're saying is so understandable. And really, your only crime was violating U.S. law.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Please identify this object.
:'''[[w:Apu Nahasapeemapetilon|Apu]]''': It appears to be the flag that disappeared from the public library last year.
:'''Homer''': Correct. Now, we all know the thirteen stripes are for good luck, but why does the American flag have precisely forty-seven stars?
:'''Apu''': Because this particular flag is ''[chuckling]'' ridiculously out of date! The library must have purchased it during the brief period in 1912 after [[w:New Mexico|New Mexico]] became a state but before [[w:Arizona|Arizona]] did.
:'''Homer''': Uh... partial credit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Proctor''': All right, here's your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War?
:'''Apu''': Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter—
:'''Proctor''': Wait, wait... just say slavery.
:'''Apu''': Slavery it is, sir.

==''[[w:Homerpalooza|Homerpalooza]]''==
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Aww, it makes no sense; I haven't changed since high school and all of a sudden I'm uncool.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[1974. Homer and Barney are singing to the tune of {{w|Leo Sayer}}'s &quot;{{w|You Make Me Feel Like Dancing}}&quot;.]''
:'''Homer''': ''[off-key]'' You make me feel like dancin'!
:'''[[w:Barney Gumble|Barney]]''': ''[off-key]'' I wanna dance the night away! ''[Abraham enters the scene]''
:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': What the hell are you two doin'?!
:'''Barney''': It's called &quot;rocking out&quot;!
:'''Homer''': You wouldn't understand, Dad. You're just not ''with'' it.
:'''Grampa''': I used to be &quot;with it&quot;. But then they changed what ''it'' was! Now what I'm ''with'' isn't ''it'', and what's ''it'' seems weird and scary to me. ''[points sinisterly at Homer]'' It'll happen to ''you''! ''[Homer shrugs off Abraham, looks at his reflection in the mirror happily]''
:'''Homer''': No way, man! We're gonna keep on rockin' forever! Forever! Forever!
:''[fades to his dejected self in the mirror at present day]''
:'''Homer''': ''[dejected]'' Forever... forever... forever...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During one of Homer's freak show performances.]''
:'''Teenager #1''': Oh look, there's that cannonball guy. He's ''cool''.
:'''Teenager #2''': Are you being sarcastic, dude?
:'''Teenager #1''': ''[after a pause]'' I don't even know any more...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer informs Marge he want to join the Pageant of the Transmundane.]''
:'''Marge''': So... you want to go on tour with a traveling freak show.
:'''Homer''': I don't think I have a choice, Marge.
:'''Marge''': Of course you have a choice.
:'''Homer''': How do you figure?
:'''Marge''': You don't have to join a freak show just because the opportunity came along. ''[Homer pauses for a beat]''
:'''Homer''': You know, Marge, in some ways, you and I are very different people.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Backstage at the Springfield Hullabalooza show, a backstage assistant enters with a group of musicians in tow.]''
:'''Backstage Assistant''': May I have your attention please! Who here ordered the London Symphony Orchestra? I repeat, someone here ordered the London Symphony Orchestra! Possibly while high!! [[w:Cypress Hill|Cypress Hill]], I'm looking in your direction!!!
:''[The Cypress Hill members talk among themselves for a bit.]''
:'''B-Real''': Uh, yeah, I think we did...um, do you guys know &quot;{{w|Insane in the Brain}}&quot;?
:'''Orchestra Player''': We mostly know classical... but we could give it a shot.
:''[The track drops for &quot;Insane In The Brain&quot;, and Cypress Hill dances as the symphony orchestra starts to play its own interpretation.]''
:'''Marge''': Now, ''this'', I like.

==''[[w:Summer of 4 Ft. 2|Summer of 4 Ft. 2]]''==
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Well, did you call one of your friends?
:'''[[w:Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': Friends? Hah! These are my only friends. Grown up nerds like [[Gore Vidal]], and even he's kissed more boys than I ever will.
:'''Marge''': ''Girls'', Lisa. Boys kiss ''girls''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Erin''': So, you like hanging out?
:'''Lisa''': Well, it beats doin' stuff.
:'''Erin''': Totally. Stuff sucks.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homer walks up to the counter in a convenience store.]''
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Yeah, um, give me one of those porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a box of panty shields... ''[rapid undertone]'' and some illegal fireworks... ''[normal voice]'' and one of those disposable enemas. You know what? Make it two.
:'''Clerk''': My apologies, sir, but the sale of fireworks is strictly prohibited in this state and is punishable by a— ''[sees the only other customer in the store walk out the door]'' follow me.
:''[Homer follows the store clerk to his secret stash of illegal fireworks]''
:'''Clerk''': Any red-blooded, flag-fearing American would love... the M-320. Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.
:'''Homer''': All right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lisa is eating in the kitchen and Marge is in the background. Bart enters]''
:'''Bart''': Hey Lis. ''[sits beside her]'' I guess my little yearbook stunt was pretty rough but it did teach you a lesson. It's important to be yourself. ''[Marge leaves]''
:'''Lisa''': ''[Grabs Bart by his shirt and whispers to him]'' I know exactly who I am. I am the sister of a rotten, jealous, mean, little sneak! ''[grabs a syrup bottle]'' You cost me my only friends! ''[holds the bottle on top of Bart's head, threatening him]'' You've ruined my life! ''[squeezes the bottle, but Marge re-enters the room. Lisa starts eating again and Bart looks at Lisa scared]''
:'''Marge''': Hey kids! there's a carnival tonight!
:'''Milhouse''': ''[appears from behind a cereal box]'' Oh boy, a carnival!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Marge is looking through the grocery bag filled with embarrassing hygiene and sexual products Homer bought at the convenience store.]''
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Ew, Homer. Whatever you're planning for tonight, count me out. Didn't you buy any meat?
:'''Homer''': ''[patting the giant firework]'' Hee, hee, hee! This baby's sure to kill somethin'!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bart''': This is the worst Fourth of July ever. I hate America! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Lisa finds out that the beach kids decorated the family car with seashells.]''
:'''Homer''': SWEET, MERCIFUL CRAP! My car!

==External links==

{{DEFAULTSORT:Simpsons, Season 07}}
[[Category:The Simpsons seasons]]

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  <page>
    <title>Last words in Lord of the Rings media</title>
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      <text bytes="11785" xml:space="preserve">The numerous deaths across all different media in the '''''[[Lord of the Rings]]''''' universe have yielded many memorable '''last words'''.

==''The Fellowship of the Ring''==
===Gandalf the Grey===
*'''Fly, you fools!'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings|The Lord of the Rings]]'', book II: &quot;[[The Fellowship of the Ring#The_Bridge_of_Khazad-d.C3.BBm|The Bridge of Khazad-dûm]]&quot;
** Note: These are his last known words as Gandalf the Grey, before he is dragged into the abyss by the Balrog called Durin's Bane. Later, he returns as Gandalf the White.

===Lurtz===
*'''Find the Halflings! FIND THE HALFLINGS!'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring]]'' (2001 New Line film)
** Note: Lurtz and his Uruk-Hai are sent by Saruman to capture the hobbits of the Fellowship alive. Though the other Uruks manage to catch Merry and Pippin, Lurtz himself is killed by Aragorn, after fatally wounding Boromir with arrows.

===[[w:Boromir|Boromir]]===
*'''I would have followed you, my brother... My captain... My king.'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring]]'' (2001 New Line film)
**'''Farewell, Aragorn! Go to Minas Tirith and save my people! I have failed.'''
*** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings|The Lord of the Rings]]'', book III: &quot;[[The Two Towers#The Departure of Boromir|The Departure of Boromir]]&quot;
** Notes: Spoken to [[w:Aragorn|Aragorn]] after being mortally wounded in battle attempting to protect the hobbits from orcs. Boromir is the older son of Denethor, Steward of Gondor. Especially remarkable is that in the film, Aragorn himself is not willing to accept his kingship at the moment yet.

==''The Two Towers''==
===Grishnákh===
*'''Let's put a maggot-hole in your belly!'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers]]'' (2002 New Line film)
**'''Curse you, you filthy little vermin! Untie your legs? I'll untie every string in your bodies. Do you think I can't search you to the bones? Search you! I'll cut you both to quivering shreds. I don't need the help of your legs to get you away — and have you all to myself!'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings|The Lord of the Rings]]'', book III: &quot;[[The Fellowship of the Ring#The Uruk-hai|The Uruk-hai]]&quot;
** Note: In the film, he is about to maim Merry, when he is crushed by Treebeard. In the book, he tries to carry off both hobbits, but one of Éomer's men catches up with him and spears him.

===Sharku===
*'''He's... dead!  He took a little tumble off the cliff.'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers]]'' (2002 New Line film)
** Note: Sharku dies of wounds from a battle with Aragorn, but has the satisfaction of believing that Aragorn also perished. This scene is not present in the book.

===Háma===
*'''I'm not sure...'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers]]'' (2002 New Line film)
**Note: Háma is scouting ahead of the refugee column when he is attacked and killed by a Warg. In the book, he dies at Helm's Deep, and his last words are unknown.

===Haldir===
*'''Na barad!''' (Sindarin: &quot;To the keep!&quot;)
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers]]'' (2002 New Line film)
** Note: Haldir is ordering his Elven archers to retreat into the Hornburg when he is mortally wounded by two Uruks. In the book, Haldir is not at Helm's Deep and his fate is unknown.

==''The Return of the King''==
===[[w:Saruman|Saruman]]===
*'''Withdraw your guard, and I shall tell you where your doom will be decided! I will not be held prisoner here!'''
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King]]'' (2003 New Line film, extended edition)
**Notes: Spoken to Gandalf, who is interrogating him about where Sauron will attack after the Ents take him prisoner in his tower. After he says this, Grima Wormtongue repeatedly stabs him in the back, but Legolas shoots an arrow, killing Grima. Saruman falls off the top of Orthanc onto a spiked wheel, dropping the Palantir. This scene only takes place in the Extended edition; in the original film, Gandalf decides to leave Saruman at Isengard, and his fate is left unresolved.

*Saruman and Wormtongue
**Gríma Wormtongue: '''You told me to; you made me do it.'''
**Saruman: '''You do what Sharkey says, always, don't you, Worm? Well, now he says: follow!'''
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]'', book VI: &quot;[[The Return of the King#The Scouring of the Shire|The Scouring of the Shire]]&quot;
**Note: Saruman, preparing to leave the Shire after his men have been killed or driven off by an army of hobbits, has just revealed that Gríma Wormtongue killed &quot;Chief Shirriff&quot; Lotho Sackville-Baggins. Immediately after saying this, he savagely kicks Wormtongue in the face, provoking Gríma to turn on his master and slash his throat. Gríma then tries to run away and is shot by hobbits.

===Madril===
*'''We can't hold them. The city is lost.'''
**Source:'' [[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King]]'' (2003 New Line film)
**Note: Madril is aiding Faramir in leading Osgiliath's defense. During the retreat, he is wounded and later killed by Gothmog.

===Denethor===
*'''Faramir...'''
**'''So! Thou hadst already stolen half my son's love. Now thou stealest the hearts of my knights also, so that they rob me wholly of my son at the last. But in this at least thou shalt not defy my will: to rule my own end. Come hither! Come, if you are not all recreant!'''
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]'', book V: &quot;[[The Return of the King#The Pyre of Denethor|The Pyre of Denethor]]&quot;
**Notes: Denethor believes his son Faramir is not going to recover from his coma. With Boromir having also died in Gandalf's company, his line is at an end, and he suspects Gandalf of plotting with Aragorn to usurp his rule, if it even survives the siege. He builds a pyre for himself and Faramir, but Gandalf rescues Faramir. In the book, Denethor makes one last attempt to stab Faramir, but Beregond, the Captain of the White Company, stands in his way. He says these words to Gandalf, and then his servants, before igniting the pyre and lying down on it. In the film, he sets on fire just as he sees Faramir's eyes open, then says his name and throws himself burning off the cliff.

===The Witch King===
*'''You fool. No man can kill me. Die now!'''
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King]]'' (2003 New Line film)
**Notes: Said to Eowyn after breaking her shield and injuring her arm with his flail. Merry (a hobbit) stabs him from behind, and Eowyn finishes him off after removing her helmet and saying &quot;I am no man!&quot; The scene in the book is similar.

===Déagol===
*(Sméagol: Give us that, Déagol, my love.) '''Why?''' (Sméagol: Because it's my birthday, and I wants it.)
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King]]'' (2003 New Line film)
**'''I don't care. I have given you a present already, more than I could afford. I found this, and I'm going to keep it.'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings|The Lord of the Rings]]'', book I: &quot;[[The Fellowship of the Ring#The Shadow of the Past|The Shadow of the Past]]&quot;
**Notes: This is Gollum's account, as interpreted by Gandalf and recounted to Frodo. &quot;It&quot; is the One Ring, which Déagol has found in the Anduin near where Isildur lost it two and a half thousand years before. Sméagol strangles him for it. The scene is dramatized at the start of the film of ''The Return of the King''.

===Gothmog===
*'''Form ranks, you maggots! Form ranks! Pikes in front, archers behind!
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King]]'' (2003 New Line film)
**Notes: Gothmog is ordering his orcs into formation to repel the Rohirrim's cavalry charge; he is later killed by Aragorn and Gimli in the Battle of the Pelennor Fields. In the book, his last words are unknown.

===[[w:Théoden|Théoden]]===
*'''I go to my fathers... in whose mighty company... I shall not now feel ashamed. Éowyn...'''
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King]]'' (2003 New Line film)
**'''Hail, King of the Mark! Ride now to victory! Bid Éowyn farewell!'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]'', book V: &quot;[[The Fellowship of the Ring#The Battle of the Pelennor Fields|The Battle of the Pelennor Fields]]&quot;
**Note: Spoken to Éomer, his sister-son and heir, as he lies mortally wounded by falling under his horse. He is unaware that Éowyn, his sister-daughter, is also in the battle and lies now wounded beside him.

===Gorbag===
*'''Stop your squeaking, you dunghill rat! I'm going to bleed you like a stuck pig!'''
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King]]'' (2003 New Line film)
**Note: Gorbag is threatening Frodo; he is immediately killed by Sam. In the books, his last words are unknown.

===The Mouth of Sauron===
*'''And who is this? Isildur's Heir? It takes more to make a King than a broken Elven blade.'''
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King]]'' (2003 New Line film, extended edition)
**Notes: The Mouth of Sauron has lied to Frodo's friends, saying that Frodo has been killed. Aragorn angrily draws Andúril (reforged from the shards of Narsil), and decapitates the Mouth of Sauron. The character does not appear in the theatrical release. In the book, he says that Frodo is captured and taken to the Dark Tower, but not killed, and also he is allowed to return through the Gate unmolested, and his fate is unknown.

===[[w:Gollum|Gollum]]===
* '''Precious, precious, precious! My Precious! O my Precious!'''
** Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]'', book VI: &quot;[[The Fellowship of the Ring#Mount Doom|Mount Doom]]&quot;
** Note: Gollum has bitten off Frodo's finger, on which he was wearing Gollum's &quot;Precious&quot;, the One Ring. In his elation to be reunited with it, he blunders into the Crack of Doom.

===Sauron===
*'''Aragorn. Elessar...'''
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King]]'' (2003 New Line film)
**Note: Spoken when his Eye sees Aragorn leading the army before his gates. He is destroyed (or at least permanently vanquished) moments later, after Frodo destroys the One Ring. In the book he does not speak here.

==Appendices==
===[[w:Aragorn|Aragorn]]=== 
**'''In sorrow we must go, but not in despair. Behold! We are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory. Farewell!'''
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]'', [[Appendices to The Lord of the Rings|Appendix A]]: &quot;Annals of the Kings and Rulers&quot;

===[[w:Gilraen|Gilraen]], mother of [[w:Aragorn|Aragorn]]===
**'''Onen i-Estel Edain, ú-chebin estel anim.''' (Sindarin: &quot;I gave Hope to the Dúnedain, I have kept no hope for myself.&quot;)
**Source: ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]'', [[Appendices to The Lord of the Rings|Appendix A]]: &quot;Annals of the Kings and Rulers&quot;
**Note: ''Estel'' is the Sindarin word for &quot;hope&quot;. This was also the name given to Aragorn by his foster father, [[w:Elrond|Elrond]]. Gilraen's last words are, therefore, an example of [[w:Word_play|word play]].

[[Category:Fictional last words|Lord of the Rings]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote talk:Speedy deletions</title>
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    <id>50736</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149078</id>
      <parentid>2829174</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:54:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Revert vandalism</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="456" xml:space="preserve">{{archives|[[Wikiquote talk:Speedy deletions/Archive 1|Archive 1]]}}

== Copyvio should be speedy deleted ==

Changed to [http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote%3ASpeedy_deletions&amp;action=historysubmit&amp;diff=1024493&amp;oldid=918454 ''Note that possible copyright infringements are candidates for speedy deletion.'']

Copyvio should be speedy deleted from this project. '''[[User:Cirt|Cirt]]''' ([[User talk:Cirt|talk]]) 17:05, 15 October 2009 (UTC)</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Dorothy Lamour</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <id>3149125</id>
      <parentid>3028178</parentid>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="1096" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Dorothy Lamour|Dorothy Lamour]]''' ([[December 10]], [[1914]] – [[September 22]], [[1996]]) was an American motion picture actress.
[[File:Dorothy-Lamour-still.JPG|thumbnail|right|'''Glamour is just [[w:sex|sex]] that got civilized.''']]
{{actor-stub}}

==Quotes==
* '''Glamour is just [[w:sex|sex]] that got civilized.'''
**From the book ''What Women Want, what every man needs to know about, sex, [[w:romance|romance]], [[w:pleasure|pleasure]] and [[passion]] page 180, the lover she wants.[[http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=syR2Y2eMkKQC&amp;pg=PA180&amp;lpg=PA180&amp;dq=glamour+is+just+sex+that+got+civilized&amp;source=web&amp;ots=Zyz5rmcKGh&amp;sig=Zob1STyBmS8vQFUwgTKIc8rf3Ww&amp;hl=en]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lamour, Dorothy}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:1914 births]]
[[Category:1996 deaths]]
[[Category:Memoirists from the United States]]
[[Category:Women authors]]
[[Category:Radio personalities]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Pop singers]]
[[Category:People from New Orleans]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Blake Lewis</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>56814</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149130</id>
      <parentid>2599399</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:13:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5680" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Blake-Lewis-AM-Awards.jpg|thumb|Blake Lewis in 2009]]

'''[[w:Blake Lewis|Blake Colin Lewis]]''' (born July 21, 1981) is an [[w:United States|American]] [[w:Singer|singer]] and [[w:beatboxing|beatboxer]]. He was the runner-up on the [[w:American Idol (season 6)|sixth season]] of ''[[American Idol]]''.

==Sourced==
===On music===
* Some say silence is golden, I choose noise.
** {{cite web |title=Blake Lewis' profile |url=http://myspace.com/blakelewis |accessdate=2007-06-04 |publisher=MySpace}}
** {{cite web |title=&quot;What Are You Doing This Weekend?: Bshorty Farewell Party with KJ Sawka + Ra Scion + Joe Doria&quot; |url=http://www.seattleweekly.com/music/blogs/reverb/what_are_you_doing_this_weekend/ |accessdate=2007-06-04 |Date=January 26, 2007 |publisher=Seattle Weekly |author=Aja Pecknold}}

===In interviews===
* I get scared because I regard women as the most beautiful creatures in the world.
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Blake Lewis: The Beat Boxer&quot; |url=http://www.people.com/people/package/americanidol2007/article/0,,20007868_20016489,00.html |date=March 30, 2007 |accessdate=2007-06-02 |publisher=People Magazine}}

* I'm kind of a [[w:Ninja|ninja]].
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Blake, Live from EW's Cover Shoot!&quot; (video) |url=http://www.ew.com/ew/package/0,,20007164_20013312__23,00.html |date=April 11, 2007 |accessdate=2007-06-04 |publisher=Entertainment Weekly}}

* Now I'm 'Blake Lewis' to the world, but I will always still be Bshorty from [[w:Bothell, Washington|Bothell]]...I've never looked at it like a competition so I think I've won regardless. I won when I got to the top ten; I've already reached my goal.
** {{cite web |title=&quot;'Hot Guy of the Week': American Idol's Blake Lewis&quot; |url=http://usmagazine.com/hot_guy_blake_lewis |date=May 21, 2007 |accessdate=2007-06-02 |publisher=US Weekly}}

* I've tried to stay true to myself this whole entire time, and I think I've represented myself as creatively as I could with what I got on the show.
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Blake Lewis Reaches Out to Gnarls, will.i.am After 'Idol' Finale: 'Call Me!'&quot; |url=http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1560387/20070524/id_0.jhtml |accessdate=2007-06-10 |date=May 24, 2007] |publisher=MTV.com |author=Katie Byrne, Jim Cantiello}}

*''[Singing]'' [[Steve Jobs]], send me a brand-new [[W:Macintosh|Mac]]...
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Behind the Scenes: 'Idol Live' Tour Rehearsals&quot; (video) |url=http://www.myfoxla.com/myfox/pages/InsideFox/Detail?contentId=3589297&amp;version=4&amp;locale=EN-US&amp;layoutCode=VSTY&amp;pageId=5.2.1 |accessdate=2007-06-26 |date=[[June 25]], [[2007]] |publisher=MyFox Los Angeles}}

====Dialogues====
:'''Lewis''': Oh, man. I bite my tongue a lot and I never really listen to him [Simon Cowell].
:'''[[w:Larry King|Larry King]]''': You didn't listen to him?
:'''Lewis''': Yeah. Well, I think him and I are a lot alike. I think we are both shameless and tactless.

:'''King''': You've got a clean-cut image. Why the [[w:Tattoo|tattoos]]?
:'''Lewis''': I love art. I love good art. I'm getting my whole...
:'''King''': Why not put it on canvas?
:'''Lewis''': Because I can't draw.
:* {{cite web |title=&quot;'American Idol' Finalists&quot; (transcripts) |url=http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0705/25/lkl.01.html |accessdate=2007-06-02 |date=May 25, 2007 |publisher=Larry King Live}}

==Attributed==
===On ''American Idol''===
* The song's about coming together as one in an ideal world. And we might not be able to accomplish that, but tonight we can start by making it a better place.
** ''Commenting on his take of [[w:Imagine (song)|Imagine]] by [[John Lennon]] in the Inspirational week in his pre-performance clip on April 24, 2007.''

* If you don't take risks in life, you'll never see anything new.
** ''Commenting on his take of [[w:You Give Love a Bad Name (song)|You Give Love a Bad Name]] by [[w:Bon Jovi|Bon Jovi]] in the Bon Jovi-themed week in his pre-performance clip on May 1, 2007.''

====Dialogues====
:'''Lewis''': I represent [[w:Seattle, Washington|Seattle]], the Emerald City.
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': So, why don't you think you've been discovered then?
:'''Lewis''': 'Cause I live in Seattle. I don't live in [[w:Los Angeles, California|L.A.]].
:* ''Responding to Simon Cowell, one of the judges of American Idol, in his audition in Seattle on September 19, 2006.''

:'''[[Ryan Seacrest]]''': If they were to make a movie about your life, what would the title be? Who would play your part?
:'''Lewis''': That's tough! But, it has to be [[Jim Carrey]]. And I...
:'''Seacrest''': 'Cause you're tall?
:'''Lewis''': (sarcastically) Yes, 'cause I'm tall and gangly...and it'd be called &quot;Organized Chaos&quot;.
:* ''Responding to a viewer question before performing [[w:This Love|This Love]] by [[w:Maroon 5|Maroon 5]] on May 15, 2007.''

:'''Seacrest''': Do you really like big butts?
:'''Lewis''': I can't lie.
:* ''Responding with the reference of the lyrics of the song &quot;[[w:Baby Got Back|Baby Got Back]]&quot; to Ryan Seacrest, the host of ''American Idol'' on May 15, 2007, after the showing of a clip of Lewis performing with [[w:Sir Mix-a-Lot|Sir Mix-a-Lot]] in the home-visiting concert in Seattle and shaking his hips on-stage.'' {{cite web |url=http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=604 |title=&quot;Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot&quot; |accessdate=2007-06-24 |publisher=Songfacts}}.

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons category}}
*[http://www.americanidol.com/contestants/season6/blake_lewis/ Blake Lewis] on ''American Idol'' official website
*{{imdb name|2554206|name=Blake Lewis}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lewis, Blake}}
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Drummers from the United States]]
[[Category:1981 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149132</id>
      <parentid>3149130</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:15:44Z</timestamp>
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        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5780" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Blake-Lewis-AM-Awards.jpg|thumb|Blake Lewis in 2009]]

'''[[w:Blake Lewis|Blake Colin Lewis]]''' (born July 21, 1981) is an [[w:United States|American]] [[w:Singer|singer]] and [[w:beatboxing|beatboxer]]. He was the runner-up on the [[w:American Idol (season 6)|sixth season]] of ''[[American Idol]]''.

==Sourced==
===On music===
* Some say silence is golden, I choose noise.
** {{cite web |title=Blake Lewis' profile |url=http://myspace.com/blakelewis |accessdate=2007-06-04 |publisher=MySpace}}
** {{cite web |title=&quot;What Are You Doing This Weekend?: Bshorty Farewell Party with KJ Sawka + Ra Scion + Joe Doria&quot; |url=http://www.seattleweekly.com/music/blogs/reverb/what_are_you_doing_this_weekend/ |accessdate=2007-06-04 |Date=January 26, 2007 |publisher=Seattle Weekly |author=Aja Pecknold}}

===In interviews===
* I get scared because I regard women as the most beautiful creatures in the world.
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Blake Lewis: The Beat Boxer&quot; |url=http://www.people.com/people/package/americanidol2007/article/0,,20007868_20016489,00.html |date=March 30, 2007 |accessdate=2007-06-02 |publisher=People Magazine}}

* I'm kind of a [[w:Ninja|ninja]].
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Blake, Live from EW's Cover Shoot!&quot; (video) |url=http://www.ew.com/ew/package/0,,20007164_20013312__23,00.html |date=April 11, 2007 |accessdate=2007-06-04 |publisher=Entertainment Weekly}}

* Now I'm 'Blake Lewis' to the world, but I will always still be Bshorty from [[w:Bothell, Washington|Bothell]]...I've never looked at it like a competition so I think I've won regardless. I won when I got to the top ten; I've already reached my goal.
** {{cite web |title=&quot;'Hot Guy of the Week': American Idol's Blake Lewis&quot; |url=http://usmagazine.com/hot_guy_blake_lewis |date=May 21, 2007 |accessdate=2007-06-02 |publisher=US Weekly}}

* I've tried to stay true to myself this whole entire time, and I think I've represented myself as creatively as I could with what I got on the show.
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Blake Lewis Reaches Out to Gnarls, will.i.am After 'Idol' Finale: 'Call Me!'&quot; |url=http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1560387/20070524/id_0.jhtml |accessdate=2007-06-10 |date=May 24, 2007] |publisher=MTV.com |author=Katie Byrne, Jim Cantiello}}

*''[Singing]'' [[Steve Jobs]], send me a brand-new [[W:Macintosh|Mac]]...
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Behind the Scenes: 'Idol Live' Tour Rehearsals&quot; (video) |url=http://www.myfoxla.com/myfox/pages/InsideFox/Detail?contentId=3589297&amp;version=4&amp;locale=EN-US&amp;layoutCode=VSTY&amp;pageId=5.2.1 |accessdate=2007-06-26 |date=[[June 25]], [[2007]] |publisher=MyFox Los Angeles}}

====Dialogues====
:'''Lewis''': Oh, man. I bite my tongue a lot and I never really listen to him [Simon Cowell].
:'''[[w:Larry King|Larry King]]''': You didn't listen to him?
:'''Lewis''': Yeah. Well, I think him and I are a lot alike. I think we are both shameless and tactless.

:'''King''': You've got a clean-cut image. Why the [[w:Tattoo|tattoos]]?
:'''Lewis''': I love art. I love good art. I'm getting my whole...
:'''King''': Why not put it on canvas?
:'''Lewis''': Because I can't draw.
:* {{cite web |title=&quot;'American Idol' Finalists&quot; (transcripts) |url=http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0705/25/lkl.01.html |accessdate=2007-06-02 |date=May 25, 2007 |publisher=Larry King Live}}

==Attributed==
===On ''American Idol''===
* The song's about coming together as one in an ideal world. And we might not be able to accomplish that, but tonight we can start by making it a better place.
** ''Commenting on his take of [[w:Imagine (song)|Imagine]] by [[John Lennon]] in the Inspirational week in his pre-performance clip on April 24, 2007.''

* If you don't take risks in life, you'll never see anything new.
** ''Commenting on his take of [[w:You Give Love a Bad Name (song)|You Give Love a Bad Name]] by [[w:Bon Jovi|Bon Jovi]] in the Bon Jovi-themed week in his pre-performance clip on May 1, 2007.''

====Dialogues====
:'''Lewis''': I represent [[w:Seattle, Washington|Seattle]], the Emerald City.
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': So, why don't you think you've been discovered then?
:'''Lewis''': 'Cause I live in Seattle. I don't live in [[w:Los Angeles, California|L.A.]].
:* ''Responding to Simon Cowell, one of the judges of American Idol, in his audition in Seattle on September 19, 2006.''

:'''[[Ryan Seacrest]]''': If they were to make a movie about your life, what would the title be? Who would play your part?
:'''Lewis''': That's tough! But, it has to be [[Jim Carrey]]. And I...
:'''Seacrest''': 'Cause you're tall?
:'''Lewis''': (sarcastically) Yes, 'cause I'm tall and gangly...and it'd be called &quot;Organized Chaos&quot;.
:* ''Responding to a viewer question before performing [[w:This Love|This Love]] by [[w:Maroon 5|Maroon 5]] on May 15, 2007.''

:'''Seacrest''': Do you really like big butts?
:'''Lewis''': I can't lie.
:* ''Responding with the reference of the lyrics of the song &quot;[[w:Baby Got Back|Baby Got Back]]&quot; to Ryan Seacrest, the host of ''American Idol'' on May 15, 2007, after the showing of a clip of Lewis performing with [[w:Sir Mix-a-Lot|Sir Mix-a-Lot]] in the home-visiting concert in Seattle and shaking his hips on-stage.'' {{cite web |url=http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=604 |title=&quot;Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot&quot; |accessdate=2007-06-24 |publisher=Songfacts}}.

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons category}}
*[http://www.americanidol.com/contestants/season6/blake_lewis/ Blake Lewis] on ''American Idol'' official website
*{{imdb name|2554206|name=Blake Lewis}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lewis, Blake}}
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Drummers from the United States]]
[[Category:Pianists from the United States]]
[[Category:1981 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Washington (state)]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149133</id>
      <parentid>3149132</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:17:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5823" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Blake-Lewis-AM-Awards.jpg|thumb|Blake Lewis in 2009]]

'''[[w:Blake Lewis|Blake Colin Lewis]]''' (born July 21, 1981) is an [[w:United States|American]] [[w:Singer|singer]] and [[w:beatboxing|beatboxer]]. He was the runner-up on the [[w:American Idol (season 6)|sixth season]] of ''[[American Idol]]''.

==Sourced==
===On music===
* Some say silence is golden, I choose noise.
** {{cite web |title=Blake Lewis' profile |url=http://myspace.com/blakelewis |accessdate=2007-06-04 |publisher=MySpace}}
** {{cite web |title=&quot;What Are You Doing This Weekend?: Bshorty Farewell Party with KJ Sawka + Ra Scion + Joe Doria&quot; |url=http://www.seattleweekly.com/music/blogs/reverb/what_are_you_doing_this_weekend/ |accessdate=2007-06-04 |Date=January 26, 2007 |publisher=Seattle Weekly |author=Aja Pecknold}}

===In interviews===
* I get scared because I regard women as the most beautiful creatures in the world.
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Blake Lewis: The Beat Boxer&quot; |url=http://www.people.com/people/package/americanidol2007/article/0,,20007868_20016489,00.html |date=March 30, 2007 |accessdate=2007-06-02 |publisher=People Magazine}}

* I'm kind of a [[w:Ninja|ninja]].
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Blake, Live from EW's Cover Shoot!&quot; (video) |url=http://www.ew.com/ew/package/0,,20007164_20013312__23,00.html |date=April 11, 2007 |accessdate=2007-06-04 |publisher=Entertainment Weekly}}

* Now I'm 'Blake Lewis' to the world, but I will always still be Bshorty from [[w:Bothell, Washington|Bothell]]...I've never looked at it like a competition so I think I've won regardless. I won when I got to the top ten; I've already reached my goal.
** {{cite web |title=&quot;'Hot Guy of the Week': American Idol's Blake Lewis&quot; |url=http://usmagazine.com/hot_guy_blake_lewis |date=May 21, 2007 |accessdate=2007-06-02 |publisher=US Weekly}}

* I've tried to stay true to myself this whole entire time, and I think I've represented myself as creatively as I could with what I got on the show.
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Blake Lewis Reaches Out to Gnarls, will.i.am After 'Idol' Finale: 'Call Me!'&quot; |url=http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1560387/20070524/id_0.jhtml |accessdate=2007-06-10 |date=May 24, 2007] |publisher=MTV.com |author=Katie Byrne, Jim Cantiello}}

*''[Singing]'' [[Steve Jobs]], send me a brand-new [[W:Macintosh|Mac]]...
** {{cite web |title=&quot;Behind the Scenes: 'Idol Live' Tour Rehearsals&quot; (video) |url=http://www.myfoxla.com/myfox/pages/InsideFox/Detail?contentId=3589297&amp;version=4&amp;locale=EN-US&amp;layoutCode=VSTY&amp;pageId=5.2.1 |accessdate=2007-06-26 |date=[[June 25]], [[2007]] |publisher=MyFox Los Angeles}}

====Dialogues====
:'''Lewis''': Oh, man. I bite my tongue a lot and I never really listen to him [Simon Cowell].
:'''[[w:Larry King|Larry King]]''': You didn't listen to him?
:'''Lewis''': Yeah. Well, I think him and I are a lot alike. I think we are both shameless and tactless.

:'''King''': You've got a clean-cut image. Why the [[w:Tattoo|tattoos]]?
:'''Lewis''': I love art. I love good art. I'm getting my whole...
:'''King''': Why not put it on canvas?
:'''Lewis''': Because I can't draw.
:* {{cite web |title=&quot;'American Idol' Finalists&quot; (transcripts) |url=http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0705/25/lkl.01.html |accessdate=2007-06-02 |date=May 25, 2007 |publisher=Larry King Live}}

==Attributed==
===On ''American Idol''===
* The song's about coming together as one in an ideal world. And we might not be able to accomplish that, but tonight we can start by making it a better place.
** ''Commenting on his take of [[w:Imagine (song)|Imagine]] by [[John Lennon]] in the Inspirational week in his pre-performance clip on April 24, 2007.''

* If you don't take risks in life, you'll never see anything new.
** ''Commenting on his take of [[w:You Give Love a Bad Name (song)|You Give Love a Bad Name]] by [[w:Bon Jovi|Bon Jovi]] in the Bon Jovi-themed week in his pre-performance clip on May 1, 2007.''

====Dialogues====
:'''Lewis''': I represent [[w:Seattle, Washington|Seattle]], the Emerald City.
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': So, why don't you think you've been discovered then?
:'''Lewis''': 'Cause I live in Seattle. I don't live in [[w:Los Angeles, California|L.A.]].
:* ''Responding to Simon Cowell, one of the judges of American Idol, in his audition in Seattle on September 19, 2006.''

:'''[[Ryan Seacrest]]''': If they were to make a movie about your life, what would the title be? Who would play your part?
:'''Lewis''': That's tough! But, it has to be [[Jim Carrey]]. And I...
:'''Seacrest''': 'Cause you're tall?
:'''Lewis''': (sarcastically) Yes, 'cause I'm tall and gangly...and it'd be called &quot;Organized Chaos&quot;.
:* ''Responding to a viewer question before performing [[w:This Love|This Love]] by [[w:Maroon 5|Maroon 5]] on May 15, 2007.''

:'''Seacrest''': Do you really like big butts?
:'''Lewis''': I can't lie.
:* ''Responding with the reference of the lyrics of the song &quot;[[w:Baby Got Back|Baby Got Back]]&quot; to Ryan Seacrest, the host of ''American Idol'' on May 15, 2007, after the showing of a clip of Lewis performing with [[w:Sir Mix-a-Lot|Sir Mix-a-Lot]] in the home-visiting concert in Seattle and shaking his hips on-stage.'' {{cite web |url=http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=604 |title=&quot;Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot&quot; |accessdate=2007-06-24 |publisher=Songfacts}}.

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons category}}
*[http://www.americanidol.com/contestants/season6/blake_lewis/ Blake Lewis] on ''American Idol'' official website
*{{imdb name|2554206|name=Blake Lewis}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lewis, Blake}}
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Drummers from the United States]]
[[Category:Pianists from the United States]]
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    <title>Martha Raye</title>
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'''[[W:Martha Raye|Martha Raye]]''' ([[August 27]], [[1916]] – [[October 19]], [[1994]]) was an American comic actress and singer.
{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* Ask any girl what she'd rather be than beautiful, and she'll say more beautiful.
** Quoted in Susan Horowitz: &quot;Queens of comedy: Lucille Ball, Phyllis Diller, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers&quot; p. 128 [http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=X77jSHAkKnMC&amp;pg=PA128&amp;lpg=PA128&amp;dq=%22Ask+any+girl+what+she'd+rather+be+than+beautiful,+and+she'll+say+more+beautiful.%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=AzUsYOZJ2m&amp;sig=QQAYhtyJb5NBPdpOSJdI_ZlKmLc&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=2U8sT9rgAeaj0QXH-tysCA&amp;ved=0CCEQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Ask%20any%20girl%20what%20she'd%20rather%20be%20than%20beautiful%2C%20and%20she'll%20say%20more%20beautiful.%22&amp;f=false]
* One paper says I'm Catholic and the other says I'm Jewish. I guess that's fitting because as a Methodist I'm meant to be undetermined some of the time.
** Quoted in Jane Maddern Pittrone: ''Take It from the Big Mouth: The Life of Martha Raye'', p. 216
* I am a Republican because I believe in the constitution, strength in national defense, limited government, individual freedom, and personal responsibility as the concrete foundation for American government. They reinforce the resolve that the United States is the greatest country in the world and we can all be eternally grateful to our founding fathers for the beautiful legacy they left us today.
** Quoted in Jane Maddern Pittrone: ''Take It from the Big Mouth: The Life of Martha Raye'', p. 220

==External links==
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'''[[W:Martha Raye|Martha Raye]]''' ([[August 27]], [[1916]] – [[October 19]], [[1994]]) was an American comic actress and singer.
{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* Ask any girl what she'd rather be than beautiful, and she'll say more beautiful.
** Quoted in Susan Horowitz: &quot;Queens of comedy: Lucille Ball, Phyllis Diller, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers&quot; p. 128 [http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=X77jSHAkKnMC&amp;pg=PA128&amp;lpg=PA128&amp;dq=%22Ask+any+girl+what+she'd+rather+be+than+beautiful,+and+she'll+say+more+beautiful.%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=AzUsYOZJ2m&amp;sig=QQAYhtyJb5NBPdpOSJdI_ZlKmLc&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=2U8sT9rgAeaj0QXH-tysCA&amp;ved=0CCEQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Ask%20any%20girl%20what%20she'd%20rather%20be%20than%20beautiful%2C%20and%20she'll%20say%20more%20beautiful.%22&amp;f=false]
* One paper says I'm Catholic and the other says I'm Jewish. I guess that's fitting because as a Methodist I'm meant to be undetermined some of the time.
** Quoted in Jane Maddern Pittrone: ''Take It from the Big Mouth: The Life of Martha Raye'', p. 216
* I am a Republican because I believe in the constitution, strength in national defense, limited government, individual freedom, and personal responsibility as the concrete foundation for American government. They reinforce the resolve that the United States is the greatest country in the world and we can all be eternally grateful to our founding fathers for the beautiful legacy they left us today.
** Quoted in Jane Maddern Pittrone: ''Take It from the Big Mouth: The Life of Martha Raye'', p. 220

==External links==
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  <page>
    <title>Molly Ringwald</title>
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      <text bytes="956" xml:space="preserve">[[File:MollyRingwaldApr2013.jpg|thumb|right|When I was a little kid I thought I would grow up to be black and sing jazz in nightclubs.]]
'''[[W:Molly Ringwald|Molly Ringwald]]''' (born [[February 18]], [[1968]]) is an American actress, singer, and author.
{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==

* '''When I was a little kid I thought I would grow up to be black and sing jazz in nightclubs.'''
** As quoted in ''Funny Ladies: The Best Humor from America's Funniest Women'' (2001) by Bill Adler, p. 47

== External links ==
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  <page>
    <title>Dinah Shore</title>
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      <text bytes="1119" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dinah Shore left corp.jpg|thumb|Dinah Shore in 1990]]

'''[[w:Dinah Shore|Dinah Shore]]''' ([[February 29]], [[1916]] – [[February 24]], [[1994]]), born '''Frances Rose Shore''', was an American singer, actress, and television personality.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.
** Quoted in Sy Safransky: ''Sunbeams: a book of quotations'', (1990), Page 124 [http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=A5NiEt9h2AIC&amp;pg=PA124&amp;dq=%22Trouble+is+a+part+of+your+life,+and+if+you+don%27t+share+it,%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=4IUxT6rKFMzfsgbC6tyVBA&amp;ved=0CDYQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Trouble%20is%20a%20part%20of%20your%20life%2C%20and%20if%20you%20don%27t%20share%20it%2C%22&amp;f=false]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

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  <page>
    <title>Ethel Merman</title>
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      <text bytes="972" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Ethel merman ragtime9.jpg|thumb|right|Ethel Merman with Tyrone Power in the trailer for ''Alexander's Ragtime Band'']]
'''[[w:Ethel Merman|Ethel Merman]]''' ([[January 16]], [[1908]] – [[February 15]], [[1984]]) was a Tony Award and Grammy Award-winning star of stage and film musicals.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* Broadway has been very good to me. But I've been very good to Broadway, too.
** Quoted in &quot;Funny Ladies: The Best Humor from America's Funniest Women&quot;, Bill Adler (2001), page 90. Taleen [[Yae stak oer as|Taleen]]

== External links ==
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  <page>
    <title>Edward Coke</title>
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      <text bytes="10838" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Edward coke.jpg|thumb|200px|Sir Edward Coke]]
'''[[w:Edward Coke|Sir Edward Coke]]'''  ([[1 February]] [[1552]] – [[3 September]] [[1634]]) was an [[w:England|English]] Judge and [[w:jurist|jurist]] and later a politician whose writings on the [[w:English common law|English common law]] were definitive legal texts for some 300 years.

==Quotes==
*A word must become a friend or you will not understand it. Perhaps you do well to be cool and detached when you are seeking information, but I remind you of the wife who complained, 'When I ask John if he loves me, he thinks I am asking for information'.
** ''Case of Swans'', 7 Rep. 15, 17 (1592).

* Fraud and deceit abound in these days more than in former times.
**''Twyne's Case'' (1602).

*Every [[libel]], which is called ''famosus libellus'', is made either against a private man, or against a public person. If it be against a private man, it deserves a severe punishment.
**77 Eng. Rep. 250 (1605).

* Law is the safest helmet.
** Inscription in rings given by Coke to several of his friends on June 20, 1606, in anticipation of his judicial investiture; reported in Humphry William Woolrych, ''The Life of the Right Honourable Sir Edward Coke'' (1826) p.&amp;nbsp;75. Derived from a latin maxim, ''Lex est tutissima cassis; sub clypeo legis nemo decipitur'': Law is the safest helmet; under the shield of the law no one is deceived.

* The house of every one is to him as his castle and fortress, as well for his defence against injury and violence as for his repose.
** ''Semayne's Case,'' 77 Eng. Rep. 194, 195; 5 Co. Rep. 91, 195 (K.B. 1604).

* They (corporations) cannot commit treason, nor be outlawed nor excommunicate, for they have no souls.
** ''Case of Sutton's Hospital,'' 10 Rep. 32.; 77 Eng Rep 960, 973 (K.B. 1612).

*When poor England stood alone, and had not the access of another kingdom, and yet had more and as potent enemies as now it hath, and yet the King of England prevailed.
**[https://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/coke-selected-writings-of-sir-edward-coke-vol-iii#lf0462-03_head_051 Speech] to the committee of the House of Commons (2 April 1628)

* [[w:Magna Carta|Magna Charta]] is such a fellow, that he will have no sovereign.
**[https://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/coke-selected-writings-of-sir-edward-coke-vol-iii#lf0462-03_head_079 Speech] to the committee of the House of Commons (20 May 1628)

* Six hours in sleep, in law's grave study six,&lt;br&gt;Four spend in prayer, the rest on Nature fix.
** Translation of lines quoted by Coke. Compare: &quot;Seven hours to law, to soothing slumber seven; Ten to the world allot, and all to heaven&quot; - Sir [[w:William Jones (philologist)|William Jones]].

=== ''Institutes of the Laws of England'' (1628) ===
* The gladsome light of jurisprudence.
** ''The First Part of the Institutes of the Laws of England, or, A Commentary on Littleton'', (London, 1628, ed. F. Hargrave and C. Butler, 19th ed., London, 1832), First Institute.

* He is not cheated who knows he is being cheated.
** ''The First Part of the Institutes of the Laws of England, or, A Commentary on Littleton'', (London, 1628, ed. F. Hargrave and C. Butler, 19th ed., London, 1832), First Institute.

*Only this incident inseparable every custom must have, viz., that it be consonant to reason; for how long soever it hath continued, if it be against reason, it is of no force in law.
** ''The First Part of the Institutes of the Laws of England, or, A Commentary on Littleton'', part 62a (London, 1628, ed. F. Hargrave and C. Butler, 19th ed., London, 1832).

* Reason is the life of the law; nay, the [[common law]] itself is nothing else but reason... The law, which is perfection of reason.
** ''The First Part of the Institutes of the Laws of England, or, A Commentary on Littleton'' (London, 1628, ed. F. Hargrave and C. Butler, 19th ed., London, 1832), Third Institute. Compare: &quot;Let us consider the reason of the case. For nothing is law that is not reason&quot;, Sir [[John Powell]], ''Coggs vs. Bernard'', 2 Ld. Raym. Rep. p.&amp;nbsp;911.

* A man's house is his castle — ''et domus sua cuique est tutissimum refugium''.
** ''The First Part of the Institutes of the Laws of England, or, A Commentary on Littleton'' (London, 1628, ed. F. Hargrave and C. Butler, 19th ed., London, 1832), Third Institute, p.&amp;nbsp;162. The exact translation of the Latin portion is: &quot;and where shall a man be safe if it be not in his own house?&quot;, quoted from ''Pandects'', lib. ii. tit. iv. De in Jus vocando.

* The Common lawes of the Realme should by no means be delayed for the law is the surest sanctuary, that a man should take, and the strongest fortresse to protect the weakest of all, ''lex et tutissima cassis.''
** ''Institutes of the Laws of England'', Second Part, vol. 1 (1642), Notes to Ch. XXIX of the Charter [Magna Carta], paragraph 1391 [http://oll.libertyfund.org/index.php?option=com_staticxt&amp;staticfile=show.php&amp;title=912&amp;search=%22tutissima%22&amp;chapter=61105&amp;layout=html#a_1375898]

*Thought the bribe be small, yet the fault is great.
** ''Institutes of the Laws of England'', vol. 3.

* The King himself should be under no man, but under God and the Law.
** Prohibitions del Roy, 12 Co. Rep. 63, quoting [[w:Henry de Bracton|Henry de Bracton]]'s treatise on the laws and customs of England. [http://www.uniset.ca/other/cs4/77ER1342.html]

==Attributed==
* A witch is a person who hath conference with the Devil to consult with him or to do some act.
** Reported in Margaret Alice Murray, ''The Witch-Cult in Western Europe: A Study in Anthropology'' (2007) p.&amp;nbsp;18.

==Quotes about Edward Coke==
*[T]o give every man his due, had it not been for Sir Edward Coke's ''Reports'', which though they may have errors, and some peremptory and extrajudicial resolutions more than are warranted; yet they contain infinite good decisions, and rulings over cases: the law, by this time, had been almost like a ship without ballast.
**[[Francis Bacon]], ''A Proposition to His Majesty by Sir Francis Bacon, Knight, His Majesty's Attorney General, and One of His Privy Council; Touching the Compiling and Amendment of the Laws of England'', quoted in ''The Works of Francis Bacon, Baron of Verulam, viscount St. Alban, and Lord High Chancellor of England, Volume IV'' (1803), p. 367

*What [[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]] has been to literature, what [[Francis Bacon|Bacon]] has been to philosophy, what the translators of the [[w:King James Version|Authorized Version of the Bible]] have been to religion, Coke has been to the public and private law of England.
**[[w:William Searle Holdsworth|W. S. Holdsworth]], ''Some Makers of English Law'' (1938), p. 132

*You will recollect that, before the revolution, Coke Littleton was the universal elementary book of Law Students; and a sounder [[Whigs (British political party)|whig]] never wrote, nor of profounder learning in the orthodox doctrines of the British constitution, or in what were called English liberties.
**[[Thomas Jefferson]] in a [https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Jefferson/98-01-02-5912 letter] to [[James Madison]] (17 February 1826)

*Even in the days of Elizabeth and James I Sir Edward Coke, the incarnate common law, shovels out his enormous learning in vast disorderly heaps.
**[[Frederic William Maitland]], 'Outlines of English Legal History, 560–1600', in H. A. L. Fisher (ed.), ''The Collected Papers of Frederic William Maitland: Volume II'' (1911), p. 484

*Coke's ''Institutes'' have had a greater influence on the law of England than any work written between the days of [[Henry de Bracton|Bracton]] and those of [[William Blackstone|Blackstone]]. 
**[[James Fitzjames Stephen]], ''A History of the Criminal Law of England, Volume II'' (1883), p. 205

===''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904)===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in James William Norton-Kyshe, ''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904), p. 30-31.&lt;/small&gt;
* The greatest lawyer, Sir Edward Coke.
** Mallet, J., ''Harrison's Case'' (1660), 5 How. St. Tr. 1030.

* The learning and industry of that great man Sir ''Edward Coke'', whose name ought never to be mentioned in a Court of law without the highest respect.
** Eyre, C.J., ''Jefferson v. Bishop of Durham'' (1797), 2 Bos. &amp; Pull. 123.

* ''Jeo concede que est le opinion Seigniour Coke, mes ''salva reverentia'' al ey grand sage et pere del ley''. (I grant that it is the opinion of Lord Coke, but ''salva reverentia'' to so great a sage and father of the law).
** Vaughan, J., ''Tustian v. Roper'' (1670), Jones's (Sir Thos.) Rep. 35.

* That great lawyer was much heated in the controversy between the Courts at ''Westminster'' and the Ecclesiastical Courts. In every part of his conduct his passions influenced his judgment. ''Vir acer et vehemens''. His law was continually warped by the different situations in which he found himself.
** Heath, J., ''Jefferson v. Bishop of Durham'' (1797), 2 Bos. &amp; Pull. 131.

* Don't quote the distinction, for the honour of my lord Coke.
** [[William Murray, 1st Earl of Mansfield|Lord Mansfield]], ''Campbell v. Hall'' (1774), Lofft. 16. Exclamation in reference to Calvin's Case (7 Co. 17), wherein appears a distinction between counties vesting by conquest and descent. It was argued that &quot;the doctrine imputed to the Judges by my Lord Coke was not entirely extra judicial,&quot; and this brought forth the above  remark.

* Yet we are obliged, to regard a man with so little about him that is ornamental or entertaining, or attractive, as a very considerable personage in the history of his country. Belonging to an age of gigantic intellect and gigantic attainments, he was admired by his contemporaries, and time has in no degree impaired his fame. He is most familiar to us as an author. Smart legal practitioners, who are only desirous of making money by their profession, neglect his works, and sneer at them as pedantic and antiquated; but they continue to be studied by all who wish to know the history and to acquire a scientific and liberal knowledge of our judicial and political institutions. His ''Opus Magnum'' is this Commentary upon Littleton, which in itself may be said to contain the whole common law of England as it then existed. Notwithstanding its want of method and its quaintness, the author writes from such a full mind, with such mastery over his subject, and with such unbroken spirit, that every law  student who has made, or is ever likely to make, any proficiency, must peruse him with delight.
** Lord Campbell, ''Lives of the Chief Justices'', Vol. 1, 338.

==External links==
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    <title>The Cat Returns</title>
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'''''[[w:The Cat Returns|The Cat Returns]]''''' is a [[w:2002 in film|2002]] Japanese film. It is a modern fairytale about a clumsy girl called Haru who saves the life of the Cat Prince. As a reward she is taken to the Kingdom of the Cats where she reluctantly begins to transform into a cat. As this happens the King attempts to force Haru to marry the Prince whom she saved. Using her newfound friends Toto, The Baron and Muta she has to leave before she turns fully into a cat.
:''Directed by [[w:Hiroyuki Morita|Hiroyuki Morita]]. Written by [[w:Aoi Hiiragi|Aoi Hiiragi]] (manga).

== Muta ==
* ''[After the sun sets on the town, making the windows turn gold]'' That's enough, Baron! Turn it off. No one's impressed with your cheesy light show, okay?
* I respect a woman who stands up for herself. Even if she does like to stick her nose in other people's business.
* From now on... you're not allowed to make anymore... ''[starts falling]'' fat jokes!
* ''[To Baron, about Haru]'' Alright, alright. I'll watch the little baby.
* What? MOO?!? Are you saying that I'm a fat cow?

== The Baron ==
* Whenever someone creates something with all of their heart, then that creation is given a soul.
* ''(After seeing Haru kidnapped by the cats)'' Better skip the tea.
* Your majesty, I promise that I will make the young lady smile.
* ''[After Haru admits she has a crush on the Baron''] Just for the record, I admire a woman who speaks from the heart.
* Always believe in yourself. Do this and no matter where you are, you will have nothing to fear.
* If you find yourself troubled by something mysterious or a problem that's hard to solve, there's a place you can go where you always find help. You just need to look for it.
* I am Baron Humbert von Gikkingen, and I have come for Haru.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Muta''': I respect a woman who stands up for herself. Even if she does like to stick her nose in other people's business. So, I, Renaldo Moon, will defend her.
:'''Cat Guard #1''': Renaldo?!
:'''Cat Guard #2''': Renaldo Moon?
:'''Cat Guard #3''': ''The'' Renaldo Moon?
:'''Natori(Vizier)''': So, THAT'S who he is!
:'''The King''': Who?
:'''Natori(Vizier)''': Your Majesty, how could you have forgotten?! He's such a notorious criminal; his story is written on our walls! Years back, an enormous white cat appeared out of nowhere, devoured all the fish in the lake, and then ran off. He called himself Renaldo Moon.
:'''Cat Guard #4''': Years back?!
:'''Cat Guard #5''': I don't believe it.
:'''Cat Guard #4''': What a monster!
:'''Baron''': Did you really do that, Muta? That's disgusting.
:'''Muta''': [chuckles] And this time, I'll eat the entire CASTLE!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Haru''': Hey, mom? Do you think cats can talk?
:'''Haru's mother''': Sure, why not?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Natoru(Cat messenger)''': What?! But how can that be? The whole kingdom is working to make you happy! And we all agreed that the gifts were just fabulous.
:'''Haru''': Don't you cats know anything? I hate mice, I don't eat them! I'm allergic to cat-tails, and catnip does nothing for me!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Haru''': Thank you for your help, Moo-ta. (gasps upon realizing what was just said aloud)
:'''Muta''': What?! MOO?! Are you saying that I'm a fat cow?!
:'''Haru''': No, it's just you're fat. Oh! Uh... [Toto chuckles at the scene]
:'''Toto''': I like this girl more every minute.
:'''Muta''': (stands up with a huff) I'M OUTTA HERE!
:'''Baron''': That's too bad, because I was just going to get out some Angel Food cake I have in the cupboard.
:'''Muta''': Where in the Cupboard? (goes toward the cupboard)
:'''Baron''': (follows after Muta to help him get out the cake) Uh, it's in the upper right shelf.
:'''Muta''': (opens the cupboard) Why didn't you say so?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Natori(Vizier)''': Oh, no. You hit one of ours.
:'''The King''': I did?
:'''Natori(Vizier)''': Good heavens, Your Majesty! How could you?
:'''The King''': Let's keep that between us.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The King''': I'll change you back if you marry me.
:'''Haru''': ''(gets angry)'' I've had just about enough of you! Nobody decides who I am, but me, and there's no way on earth I will EVER marry you!!
:'''The King''': ''(shocked by Haru's answer)'' Was that a no?

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title| id=0347618| title=Neko no ongaeshi}}

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  <page>
    <title>Spain</title>
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      <text bytes="12005" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Flag of Spain.svg|thumb|Wee may say of him, as of the Spaniard, Hee is a bad Servant, but a worse Maister. ~ [[Thomas Adams]]]]
[[File:Mallorca Schweinebucht - panoramio.jpg|thumb|Sunny Spain, land of mañana, where nothing was done today that could be put off till tomorrow! ~ [[Alvah Bessie]]]]
[[File:Escudo de España (mazonado).svg|thumb|The genius of the Spanish people is exquisitely subtle, without being at all acute; hence there is so much humour and so little wit in their literature. ~ [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge|Samuel T. Coleridge]]]]
[[File:Ayuntamiento de Valencia, España, 2014-06-30, DD 121.JPG|thumb|Ayuntamiento de Valencia, España]]
[[File:Valencia329.JPG|thumb|I say this to you because we Spaniards are a forgetful people, because we are used to living for the moment, because we do not look back... ~ [[Francisco Franco]]]]
[[File:El rey Juan Carlos I en la Pascua Militar de 2009.jpg|thumb|Spain is nobody's child. ~ Stanton Griffis]]
[[File:Donostia Igeldotik.jpg|thumb|Fair land of chivalry, the old domain... Land of the vine and olive, lovely Spain! ~ [[Felicia Hemans]]]] 
[[File:Rascacielos_de_Madrid_desde_el_CBA_01.jpg|thumb|All the Spaniards behaved like a single man of honour. I approached this issue in a wrong way. The immorality seemed too obvious, the unfairness too cinic, and all this quite bad, because I have fallen. ~ [[Napoleon Bonaparte]]]]
[[File:La Passionara.jpg|thumb|They gave up everything, their homes, their country, home and fortune- fathers, mothers, wives, brothers, sisters and children, and they came and told us: &quot;We are here, your cause, Spain's cause, is ours.&quot; ~ Isidora Dolores Ibárruri Gómez]]
[[File:Flag-map of Spain (1785-1873, 1874-1931).svg|thumb|Spanish is most important to an American. Our connection with Spain is already important and will become daily more so. Besides this the antient part of American history is written chiefly in Spanish. ~ [[Thomas Jefferson]]]]
[[File:Ministerio del Aire (Madrid) 02.jpg|thumb|Spanish Air Force headquarters in Madrid]]

'''[[w:Spain|Spain]]''', officially the '''Kingdom of Spain''' (''Reino de España''), } is a {{w|transcontinental country}} mostly located in [[Europe]]. Its continental European territory is situated on the {{w|Iberian Peninsula}}. Its territory also includes two archipelagoes: the {{w|Canary Islands}} off the coast of [[Africa]], and the {{w|Balearic Islands}} in the {{w|Mediterranean Sea}}. The African enclaves of {{w|Ceuta}}, {{w|Melilla}}, and {{w|Peñón de Vélez de la Gomera}} make Spain the only European country to have a physical border with an African country ({{w|Morocco}}). [[w:plazas de soberanía|Several small islands]] in the {{w|Alboran Sea}} are also part of Spanish territory. [[w:Peninsular Spain|The country's mainland]] is bordered to the south and east by the Mediterranean Sea except for a small land boundary with {{w|Gibraltar}}; to the north and northeast by [[France]], {{w|Andorra}}, and the {{w|Bay of Biscay}}; and to the west and northwest by [[Portugal]] and the {{w|Atlantic Ocean}}.

__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}

== Quotes ==
===A===
* '''Wee may say of him, as of the Spaniard, Hee is a bad Servant, but a worse Maister.'''
** [[Thomas Adams]], ''The Sacrifice of Thankefulnesse'' (London: C. Knight, 1616) p. 6.

===B===
* '''The French are wiser than they seem, and the Spaniards seem wiser than they are.'''
** [[Francis Bacon]], &quot;Of Seeming Wise&quot;, in ''Essays'' (1625); Brian Vickers (ed.) ''The Major Works'' (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2002) p. 389.

* And towering above each town, generally built on a height commanding it, stood the church, its finger pointed to heaven, its masonry rich and heavy, permanent and menacing, a constant reminder of the domination of the Church down all the ages. For although these deeply Catholic people had been burning their churches for centuries, the Church and its allies had always reasserted their power over the people, and this power was in dispute again to the endless hills, carved from root to summit with stone-shored terraces to hold the olives and the vine fields, quiet evidence of thousands upon thousands of grinding hours of man and woman labor. '''Sunny Spain, land of mañana, where nothing was done today that could be put off till tomorrow!'''
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 41

* The Spaniard is inherently nationalistic; but no more so than other national groups. Most people, trained from birth to distrust the foreigner, are nationalistic.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 153

* There was always, therefore, a certain amount of friction between the Americans and the Spanish, which would seem to be a paradox when you consider that these Americans had abandoned everything in life to come to the assistance of the Spanish people. But a small, persisting snobbism on the part of the Americans, and a residue of distrust on the part of the Spanish (few clearly understood the issues at stake), contributed to the persistence of this friction. (Franco's propaganda also helped.)
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p.  154

* [[Miguel de Cervantes|Cervantes]] smil'd Spain's chivalry away.
** [[Lord Byron]], ''[[Don Juan (Byron)|Don Juan]]'', canto xiii (1823), stanza 11.
*The institutions that had flourished under the Moslem, died when the Moslem departed; and after four centuries of light and learning, Andalusia (Muslim Spain) fell back, under the Christian rule, into a condition of ignorance and barbarism, nearly, if not quite, equal to that of the north western provinces of the peninsula.
**Ulick Burke, [https://www.amazon.com/Burkes-History-Spain-original-Edinburgh/dp/B01AGVT4WW History of Spain]. p: 288

===C===
* The genius of the Spanish people is exquisitely subtle, without being at all acute; hence there is so much humour and so little wit in their literature.
** [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]], speaking on [[April 23]], [[1832]]; Henry Nelson Coleridge (ed.) ''Specimens of the Table Talk of Samuel Taylor Coleridge'' (Edinburgh: John Grant, 1905) p. 171.

* In Mexico the gods ruled, the priests interpreted and interposed, and the people obeyed. In Spain, the priests ruled, the king interpreted and interposed, and the gods obeyed.  A nuance in an ideological difference is a wide chasm.
** [[w:Richard Condon|Richard Condon]] ''A Talent for Loving'' (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1961) p. 5

===F===

* '''Spaniards!'''&lt;br&gt;'''To all of you who feel holy love for Spain, to all of you who in the ranks of the army and the navy have sworn to serve the fatherland, to those of you who swore to defend it from its enemies with your lives, the nation calls you to defend it.'''
** [[Francisco Franco]], on 18 July 1936 in his radio speech at the beginning of the [[Spanish Civil War]], declaring his and his soldiers' support for the Nationalist cause from the Canary Islands, from which they would soon depart to invade mainland Spain. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003), p. 177.

* '''I say this to you because we Spaniards are a forgetful people, because we are used to living for the moment, because we do not look back, because we do not know how to see the chain of heroes, because we do not contemplate the sum of sacrifices.'''
** [[Francisco Franco]] in 1940, as he received the Laureate Cross, Spain's highest military honour. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 211-214.

===G===

* 8. Spain is willing to fight, willing to send troops beyond the Pyrenees, anxious to make a bilateral agreement with the United States if properly armed, and/or would even reluctantly consent to join NATO, despite her old suspicions of England and France, but she must have arms.&lt;br&gt;9. As the longtime enemy of everything communistic, neither the Spanish government nor its people are able to understand the discrimination against them so far as American aid, either economic or military, is concerned...&lt;br&gt;11. '''Spain is nobody's child.'''
** Stanton Griffis, United States Ambassador to Spain (1951-1952), in a dispatch to Dean Acheson, United States Secretary of State (1949-1953). As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003), p. 231

* '''They gave up everything, their homes, their country, home and fortune- fathers, mothers, wives, brothers, sisters and children, and they came and told us: &quot;We are here, your cause, Spain's cause, is ours.''' It is the cause of all advanced and progressive mankind.&quot; Today they are going away. Many of them thousands of them, are staying here with the Spanish earth for their shroud, and all Spaniards remember them with the deepest feeling.
** Isidora Dolores Ibárruri Gómez, popularly known as &quot;La Pasionara&quot;, in a speech in Barcelona on 15 November 1938, as quoted by Hugh Thomas in ''The Spanish Civil War'' (1961), p. 558

===H===
* '''Fair land! of chivalry, the old domain,'''&lt;br&gt;'''Land of the vine and olive, lovely Spain!'''&lt;br&gt;Though not for thee with classic shores to vie&lt;br&gt;In charms that fix th' enthusiast's pensive eye;&lt;br&gt;Yet hast thou scenes of beauty richly fraught&lt;br&gt;With all that wakes the glow of lofty thought.
** [[Felicia Hemans]], ''Abencerrage'', Canto II, line 1, reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 740.

* [[José Ortega y Gasset|Ortega y Gasset]] is of the opinion that the inability of a country to produce a genuine mass movement indicates some [[w: Ethnology|ethnological]] defect. He says of his own Spain that its &quot;ethnological intelligence has always been an atrophied function and has never had a normal development.&quot;
** [[Eric Hoffer]], ''The True Believer'' (1951) Ch.18 Good and Bad Mass Movements, §125 citing Ortega y Gasset's ''The Modern Theme'' (1931)
===J===
*With respect to modern languages, French, as I have before observed, is indispensible. Next to this the Spanish is most important to an American. Our connection with Spain is already important and will become daily more so. Besides this the antient part of American history is written chiefly in Spanish.
**[[Thomas Jefferson]], [http://www.monticello.org/site/research-and-collections/spanish-language Letter to Thomas Mann Randolph] (6 July 1787).
===M===
*The [[European Union]] and many of its countries, which used to take initiatives in the [[United Nations]] for [[Conflict resolution|peaceful settlements of conflict]], are now one of the most important war assets of the [[NATO|U.S./NATO front]].  Many countries have also been drawn into complicity in breaking [[international law]] through [[w:Category:Wars involving NATO|U.S./U.K./NATO wars]] in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, and so on.
**[[Mairead Maguire]] in [https://www.commondreams.org/views/2014/10/14/disturbing-expansion-military-industrial-complex '''''The Disturbing Expansion of the Military-Industrial Complex''', Common Dreams'',]  (14 October 2014)

===V===
* ''En dos edades vivimos&lt;br/&gt;los propios y los ajenos:&lt;br/&gt;la de plata los estraños,&lt;br/&gt;y la de cobre los nuestros.''
** English translation: 'We live in different ages, non-Spaniards and ourselves: they in the age of silver, we in the age of brass'.
** [[Lope de Vega]], ''La Dorotea'' Act I, sc. iv.  Translation from Alan S. Trueblood and Edwin Honig (ed. and trans.) ''La Dorotea'' (Cambridge, MA: Harvard Univ. Press, 1985) p. 23.

== See also ==
* [[Al-Andalus]]
* [[Philip II of Spain]]
* [[Spanish colonization of the Americas]]
* [[Spanish proverbs]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wiktionary}}
{{wikibooks|Wikijunior:Europe/Spain}}
{{wikiversity|Comparative law and justice/{{PAGENAME}}}}
{{Wikisource|Portal:{{PAGENAME}}}}
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[[Category:Spain| ]]</text>
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    <title>Axl Rose</title>
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      <text bytes="2392" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Axl rose 2010 concert.jpg|thumb|right|Axl Rose in 2010]]

'''[[w:Axl Rose|W. Axl Rose]]''' (born '''William Bruce Rose, Jr.''' on [[February 6]], [[1962]]), raised as &quot;William Bruce Bailey&quot;, is an American musician, best known as the lead vocalist of rock band [[Guns N' Roses]].

{{musician-stub}}
== Quotes ==
*That's always the hardest question. Lately I've been listening to Derek and the Dominos, the Bar-Kays. I really like the first [[Patti Smith]]. I'm just starting to discover the Cure. I keep trying to find things to open myself up to. I enjoy [[w:Soundgarden|Soundgarden]]. The singer [Chris Cornell] just buries me. The guy sings so great. On the club circuit, I like Saigon Saloon a lot.
*When asked what kind of music and bands he enjoys
** Quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/the-rolling-stone-interview-axl-rose-19890810 &quot;Axl Rose: The Rolling Stone Interview&quot;] by Del James, ''[[w:Rolling Stone|Rolling Stone]]'', (10 August 1989)

* My growth was stopped at two years old. And when they talk about Axl Rose being a screaming two-year-old, they're right. There's a screaming two-year-old who's real pissed off and hides and won't show himself that often, even to me. Because I couldn't protect him. And the world didn't protect him.
** Quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/15808548/axl_rose_the_rolling_stone_interview/9 &quot;Axl Rose: The Rolling Stone Interview&quot;] by Kim Neely, ''[[w:Rolling Stone|Rolling Stone]]'', No. 627 (2 April 1992)

*We wish we were doing it, of course, under much better circumstances, but this man was loved. For Chris.
** At a Guns N' Roses concert in Ireland before playing [[w:Black Hole Sun|Black Hole Sun]] in tribute to [[Chris Cornell]] on May 27, 2017.
** Quoted in [http://www.antimusic.com/news/17/May/30Guns_N_Roses_Play_Special_Tribute_To_Chris_Cornell.shtml &quot;Guns N' Roses Play Special Tribute To Chris Cornell&quot;] ''antiMusic'', (30 May 2017),  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyCX9pNhBBQ &quot;Guns N' Roses - Black Hole Sun (COMPLETE)&quot;] ''YouTube'', (27 May 2017)

== External links ==
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      <text bytes="2300" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Axl rose 2010 concert.jpg|thumb|right|Axl Rose in 2010]]

'''[[w:Axl Rose|W. Axl Rose]]''' (born '''William Bruce Rose, Jr.''' on [[February 6]], [[1962]]), raised as &quot;William Bruce Bailey&quot;, is an American musician, best known as the lead vocalist of rock band [[Guns N' Roses]].

{{musician-stub}}
== Quotes ==
*That's always the hardest question. Lately I've been listening to Derek and the Dominos, the Bar-Kays. I really like the first [[Patti Smith]]. I'm just starting to discover the Cure. I keep trying to find things to open myself up to. I enjoy [[w:Soundgarden|Soundgarden]]. The singer [Chris Cornell] just buries me. The guy sings so great. On the club circuit, I like Saigon Saloon a lot.
*When asked what kind of music and bands he enjoys
** Quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/the-rolling-stone-interview-axl-rose-19890810 &quot;Axl Rose: The Rolling Stone Interview&quot;] by Del James, ''[[w:Rolling Stone|Rolling Stone]]'', (10 August 1989)

* My growth was stopped at two years old. And when they talk about Axl Rose being a screaming two-year-old, they're right. There's a screaming two-year-old who's real pissed off and hides and won't show himself that often, even to me. Because I couldn't protect him. And the world didn't protect him.
** Quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/15808548/axl_rose_the_rolling_stone_interview/9 &quot;Axl Rose: The Rolling Stone Interview&quot;] by Kim Neely, ''[[w:Rolling Stone|Rolling Stone]]'', No. 627 (2 April 1992)

*We wish we were doing it, of course, under much better circumstances, but this man was loved. For Chris.
** At a Guns N' Roses concert in Ireland before playing [[w:Black Hole Sun|Black Hole Sun]] in tribute to [[Chris Cornell]] on May 27, 2017.
** Quoted in [http://www.antimusic.com/news/17/May/30Guns_N_Roses_Play_Special_Tribute_To_Chris_Cornell.shtml &quot;Guns N' Roses Play Special Tribute To Chris Cornell&quot;] ''antiMusic'', (30 May 2017),  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyCX9pNhBBQ &quot;Guns N' Roses - Black Hole Sun (COMPLETE)&quot;] ''YouTube'', (27 May 2017)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

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    <title>Diana Ross</title>
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      <text bytes="1531" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Nobel_Peace_Prize_Concert_2008_Diana_Ross1.jpg|thumb|You can't just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream, you've got to get out there and make it happen yourself.]]
'''[[w:Diana Ross|Diana Ernestine Earle Ross]]''' (born [[26 March]] [[1944]]) is an American singer and actress, who first became prominent as lead singer of [[w:The Supremes|The Supremes]].

== Quotes ==

* '''You can't just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream, you've got to get out there and make it happen yourself.'''
** As quoted in ''Jet'' magazine, Vol. 67, No. 2  (4 February 1985), p. 40 

* A reporter once asked me if I ever cried. I wonder if people think I'm just as hard as a rock and have no emotions at all.
** As quoted in ''Call Her Miss Ross : The Unauthorized Biography of Diana Ross'' (1989) by J. Randy Taraborrelli

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.dianaross.com/ Official web site]
*{{Pop Chronicles|26 |url=https://digital.library.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc1692071/m1/ }}

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    <title>Sister Souljah</title>
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'''[[w:Sister Souljah|Sister Souljah]]''' (born '''Lisa Williamson''' in [[1964]]) is an African-American community organizer, author and musician.

==Quotes==
* Souljah was not born to make white people feel comfortable. I am African first! I am black first! I want what's good for me and my people first.
**&quot;The Hate That Hate Produced&quot; (1992)

* If there are [any good white people], I haven't met them. Where are they?
**Remarks in her video for &quot;The Final Solution: Slavery's Back in Effect&quot; (1992)

* My definition of &quot;good&quot; is that you understand that this is a question of power, that you be willing to give up some power, that you be willing to give up some resources, that you be willing to pay black people reparations for our years and years of service in this country, that you be willing to go home and tell your white mother and father about white racism and how it affects and kills black people in our communities. That's my definition of good white people and I haven't met any like that.
**Television special, ''The Issue is Race: A Crisis in Black and White'' (1992)

* '''Mills''': Even the people themselves who were perpetrating that violence, did they think that was wise? Was that a wise reasoned action?&lt;br/&gt;'''Souljah''': Yeah, it was wise. I mean, if black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people?… White people, this government and that mayor were well aware of the fact that black people were dying every day in Los Angeles under gang violence. So if you're a gang member and you would normally be killing somebody, why not kill a white person? Do you think that somebody thinks that white people are better, are above and beyond dying, when they would kill their own kind?
**Regarding black-on-white violence in the Los Angeles riots, quoted in David Mills (16 June 1992) &quot;In Her Own Disputed Words; Transcript of Interview That Spawned Souljah's Story&quot; ''The Washington Post''

* [[Bill Clinton]] is like a lot of white politicians. They eat soul food, they party with black women, they play the saxophone, but when it comes to domestic and foreign policy, they make the same decisions that are destructive to African people in this country and throughout the world.
**The ''Today'' show (16 June 1992)

* Racism is a system of power and in the absence of power you cannot be considered a racist.
**&quot;We Are at War&quot;, speech at Cheyney State University (1994)

==About Sister Souljah==
* Her comments before and after Los Angeles were filled with a kind of hatred that you do not honor today and tonight.… If you took the words &quot;white&quot; and &quot;black,&quot; and you reversed them, you might think [[David Duke]] was giving that speech.
**Bill Clinton, speech to the Rainbow Coalition (13 May 1992), referring to the ''Washington Post'' and &quot;Final Solution&quot; quotations above. See Clinton (2005) ''My Life''

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
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[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:American women]]
[[Category:1964 births]]
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[[Category:People from New York City]]</text>
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      <text bytes="3325" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Sister Souljah 1997.jpeg|thumb|Sister Souljah in 1997]]
'''[[w:Sister Souljah|Sister Souljah]]''' (born '''Lisa Williamson''' in [[1964]]) is an African-American community organizer, author and musician.

==Quotes==
* Souljah was not born to make white people feel comfortable. I am African first! I am black first! I want what's good for me and my people first.
**&quot;The Hate That Hate Produced&quot; (1992)

* If there are [any good white people], I haven't met them. Where are they?
**Remarks in her video for &quot;The Final Solution: Slavery's Back in Effect&quot; (1992)

* My definition of &quot;good&quot; is that you understand that this is a question of power, that you be willing to give up some power, that you be willing to give up some resources, that you be willing to pay black people reparations for our years and years of service in this country, that you be willing to go home and tell your white mother and father about white racism and how it affects and kills black people in our communities. That's my definition of good white people and I haven't met any like that.
**Television special, ''The Issue is Race: A Crisis in Black and White'' (1992)

* '''Mills''': Even the people themselves who were perpetrating that violence, did they think that was wise? Was that a wise reasoned action?&lt;br/&gt;'''Souljah''': Yeah, it was wise. I mean, if black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people?… White people, this government and that mayor were well aware of the fact that black people were dying every day in Los Angeles under gang violence. So if you're a gang member and you would normally be killing somebody, why not kill a white person? Do you think that somebody thinks that white people are better, are above and beyond dying, when they would kill their own kind?
**Regarding black-on-white violence in the Los Angeles riots, quoted in David Mills (16 June 1992) &quot;In Her Own Disputed Words; Transcript of Interview That Spawned Souljah's Story&quot; ''The Washington Post''

* [[Bill Clinton]] is like a lot of white politicians. They eat soul food, they party with black women, they play the saxophone, but when it comes to domestic and foreign policy, they make the same decisions that are destructive to African people in this country and throughout the world.
**The ''Today'' show (16 June 1992)

* Racism is a system of power and in the absence of power you cannot be considered a racist.
**&quot;We Are at War&quot;, speech at Cheyney State University (1994)

==About Sister Souljah==
* Her comments before and after Los Angeles were filled with a kind of hatred that you do not honor today and tonight.… If you took the words &quot;white&quot; and &quot;black,&quot; and you reversed them, you might think [[David Duke]] was giving that speech.
**Bill Clinton, speech to the Rainbow Coalition (13 May 1992), referring to the ''Washington Post'' and &quot;Final Solution&quot; quotations above. See Clinton (2005) ''My Life''

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Film producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Social activists]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Women authors]]
[[Category:American women]]
[[Category:1964 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]</text>
      <sha1>otmz9poh0t49w0tpeu406wf6sws501q</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149240</id>
      <parentid>3149239</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T01:09:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3449" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Sister Souljah 1997.jpeg|thumb|Sister Souljah in 1997]]
'''[[w:Sister Souljah|Sister Souljah]]''' (born '''Lisa Williamson''' in [[1964]]) is an African-American community organizer, author and musician.

==Quotes==
* Souljah was not born to make white people feel comfortable. I am African first! I am black first! I want what's good for me and my people first.
**&quot;The Hate That Hate Produced&quot; (1992)

* If there are [any good white people], I haven't met them. Where are they?
**Remarks in her video for &quot;The Final Solution: Slavery's Back in Effect&quot; (1992)

* My definition of &quot;good&quot; is that you understand that this is a question of power, that you be willing to give up some power, that you be willing to give up some resources, that you be willing to pay black people reparations for our years and years of service in this country, that you be willing to go home and tell your white mother and father about white racism and how it affects and kills black people in our communities. That's my definition of good white people and I haven't met any like that.
**Television special, ''The Issue is Race: A Crisis in Black and White'' (1992)

* '''Mills''': Even the people themselves who were perpetrating that violence, did they think that was wise? Was that a wise reasoned action?&lt;br/&gt;'''Souljah''': Yeah, it was wise. I mean, if black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people?… White people, this government and that mayor were well aware of the fact that black people were dying every day in Los Angeles under gang violence. So if you're a gang member and you would normally be killing somebody, why not kill a white person? Do you think that somebody thinks that white people are better, are above and beyond dying, when they would kill their own kind?
**Regarding black-on-white violence in the Los Angeles riots, quoted in David Mills (16 June 1992) &quot;In Her Own Disputed Words; Transcript of Interview That Spawned Souljah's Story&quot; ''The Washington Post''

* [[Bill Clinton]] is like a lot of white politicians. They eat soul food, they party with black women, they play the saxophone, but when it comes to domestic and foreign policy, they make the same decisions that are destructive to African people in this country and throughout the world.
**The ''Today'' show (16 June 1992)

* Racism is a system of power and in the absence of power you cannot be considered a racist.
**&quot;We Are at War&quot;, speech at Cheyney State University (1994)

==About Sister Souljah==
* Her comments before and after Los Angeles were filled with a kind of hatred that you do not honor today and tonight.… If you took the words &quot;white&quot; and &quot;black,&quot; and you reversed them, you might think [[David Duke]] was giving that speech.
**Bill Clinton, speech to the Rainbow Coalition (13 May 1992), referring to the ''Washington Post'' and &quot;Final Solution&quot; quotations above. See Clinton (2005) ''My Life''

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Film producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Social activists]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Memoirists from the United States]]
[[Category:Women authors]]
[[Category:African Americans]]
[[Category:American women]]
[[Category:1964 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]</text>
      <sha1>8sbui2gyinp5hlhcm1mfgc5xa8wu9oc</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149242</id>
      <parentid>3149240</parentid>
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        <id>3128274</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3493" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Sister Souljah 1997.jpeg|thumb|Sister Souljah in 1997]]
'''[[w:Sister Souljah|Sister Souljah]]''' (born '''Lisa Williamson''' in [[1964]]) is an African-American community organizer, author and musician.

==Quotes==
* Souljah was not born to make white people feel comfortable. I am African first! I am black first! I want what's good for me and my people first.
**&quot;The Hate That Hate Produced&quot; (1992)

* If there are [any good white people], I haven't met them. Where are they?
**Remarks in her video for &quot;The Final Solution: Slavery's Back in Effect&quot; (1992)

* My definition of &quot;good&quot; is that you understand that this is a question of power, that you be willing to give up some power, that you be willing to give up some resources, that you be willing to pay black people reparations for our years and years of service in this country, that you be willing to go home and tell your white mother and father about white racism and how it affects and kills black people in our communities. That's my definition of good white people and I haven't met any like that.
**Television special, ''The Issue is Race: A Crisis in Black and White'' (1992)

* '''Mills''': Even the people themselves who were perpetrating that violence, did they think that was wise? Was that a wise reasoned action?&lt;br/&gt;'''Souljah''': Yeah, it was wise. I mean, if black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people?… White people, this government and that mayor were well aware of the fact that black people were dying every day in Los Angeles under gang violence. So if you're a gang member and you would normally be killing somebody, why not kill a white person? Do you think that somebody thinks that white people are better, are above and beyond dying, when they would kill their own kind?
**Regarding black-on-white violence in the Los Angeles riots, quoted in David Mills (16 June 1992) &quot;In Her Own Disputed Words; Transcript of Interview That Spawned Souljah's Story&quot; ''The Washington Post''

* [[Bill Clinton]] is like a lot of white politicians. They eat soul food, they party with black women, they play the saxophone, but when it comes to domestic and foreign policy, they make the same decisions that are destructive to African people in this country and throughout the world.
**The ''Today'' show (16 June 1992)

* Racism is a system of power and in the absence of power you cannot be considered a racist.
**&quot;We Are at War&quot;, speech at Cheyney State University (1994)

==About Sister Souljah==
* Her comments before and after Los Angeles were filled with a kind of hatred that you do not honor today and tonight.… If you took the words &quot;white&quot; and &quot;black,&quot; and you reversed them, you might think [[David Duke]] was giving that speech.
**Bill Clinton, speech to the Rainbow Coalition (13 May 1992), referring to the ''Washington Post'' and &quot;Final Solution&quot; quotations above. See Clinton (2005) ''My Life''

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Rappers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Film producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Social activists]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Memoirists from the United States]]
[[Category:Women authors]]
[[Category:African Americans]]
[[Category:American women]]
[[Category:1964 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]</text>
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        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
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      <comment>/* Finish a deletion nomination */ Reply</comment>
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== Merge ip edits to user account ==

I have been editing under the ip range of [[Special:Contributions/2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64|2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64]], I would like this to be merged to the user account [[User:ilovemydoodle|ilovemydoodle]], Is this possible and if so, can it be done?
{{Collapse bottom}}

== Edit war ==

There has been an ongoing edit war on [[Sonic the Hedgehog 2]] on whether &quot;Shadow&quot;'s eyes are orange or red. Can this be sorted out? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:05, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done|Solved}} '''&lt;sup&gt;(Hopefully)&lt;/sup&gt;''' by [[User:Koavf|Koavf]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:14, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Crosswiki spammer ==

On the [[:Education in India]] page, please hide the two edits immediately prior to my edit. They contain a spam link being pushed across numerous wikis. Cheers. ['''[[:User:Cromium|&lt;sub&gt;24&lt;/sub&gt;Cr]]''']['''[[:User talk:Cromium|talk]]'''] 12:40, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:53, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== Finish a deletion nomination ==

Hello, please could someone add [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Formatting]] to the log page for me? I can't do it as an IP because the page has been protected. Thank you! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:21, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:26, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Thanks a bunch, much appreciated.
::If you get a minute could you also add:
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:N]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:This]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Vote removed]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Strikethrough templates]]
::to the same page? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:40, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} as well. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 20:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Could you please also list these four discussions?:
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:LTADatabase]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:REDACTED]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Always substitute]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:T]]
::::Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:12, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Forgot to ping you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:16, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 23:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Could you please add these discussions too?
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Change title]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ping active users]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Bansock]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Banplz]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Welcome-Formatting]]
::::::Thanks! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:13, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{Done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:37, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Another batch, if that's OK:
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:First article]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Sandbox link]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Userspace linking templates]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:SpellCheck]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-g12]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-copyvio-notice]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Category:Suspected Wikipedia sockpuppets of GR&lt;noinclude/&gt;P]] 
::::::::Thanks! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:17, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:49, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Thanks a bunch, and thanks for adding some of the discussions I just started.
::::::::::In this edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Votes_for_deletion&amp;diff=3146967&amp;oldid=3146966] you seem to have accidentally deleted [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-copyvio-notice]] while doing some cleanup, please could you re-add it to the list?
::::::::::Also a few more nominations:
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Uw-afd5]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ensure AAA contrast ratio]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Templatesnotice]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Closed and Template:Reopen]]
::::::::::Thanks again! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:02, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Forgot to ping again. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:44, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{done}} (and fixed the one I inadvertently deleted). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:42, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] A few more if you don't mind:
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Subst]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Hash]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote-line]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Uw-speedydeletion]]
::::::::::::Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:40, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

== Broken links in contributions page ==

also, while I'm here, the SUL info link in [[MediaWiki:Sp-contributions-footer]] leads to a deleted tool, and the &quot;supercount&quot; tool has been renamed to xtools and moved to a different domain. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:03, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:28, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Sorry, you seem to have gotten that back to front. The link you removed still works, but it now redirects you to a different site because it was replaced by a new tool. The one that is broken without replacement is the &quot;SUL info&quot; link. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:25, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::done}} Whoopsie daisy. Thanks.{ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:28, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== [[User: Eaglestorm]] again ==

This user with a history of being disruptive (just see their [[User talk:Eaglestorm]]) and a permanent block from English WP was recently globally unblocked on a technicality and is back to their [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Eaglestorm typical antics] of ruthlessly “enforcing” the non-policy, unofficial guideline of [[WQ:LOQ]] via edit warring and being hostile and stubborn when asked to negotiate a solution. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:29, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:here we go. did you even read the stewards report? I'm up to &quot;typical antics&quot; ... YOU'RE PLAIN OBSESSED with taking me down. What nonpolicy are you talking about? The one that's been effective with copyvio for the last 14 years?  --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 03:33, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::Yes, you still are being a net negative here. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:35, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::Do you not understand what '''''proposed''''' means here?! [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:38, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:Do you have diffs of edit-warring? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:01, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{re|Dronebogus}} It looks a bit like you saw ES editing, and went around revering their edits across articles, including apparently on a least some article you'd never edited before, meaning you weren't following your watchlist, you were following ES. I guess we can add repeatedly reverting ES on their own talk page.
: So that's not all exactly a pristine position from which to argue about someone else's disruptiveness. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:26, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::I know that, but ES is enforcing a proposed policy in a disruptive manner and is refusing to negotiate even when asked to. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 22:15, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Well, one part inherent in LOQ certainly is policy: that excessively lengthy passages run afoul of copyright. But if you're gonna pick a hill to die on, I'm not sure the right one is ensuring that the article on GAT V includes riveting lines such as &quot;'''Jimmy De Santa''': Go away. '''Michael De Santa''': What?&quot; [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:08, 25 July 2022 (UTC)

== Salt a page title for use in documentation ==

Hello,

I'm planning on re-writing {{tl|redlink}} at some point in the next few days to make the implementation of this template a bit more sensible. As part of that I'd like to set it up so it creates links to a salted page title, rather than a random subpage of the template. Would someone be willing to creation protect a title for this purpose? Something like [[Wikiquote:redlink example]] would work well. I know from experience if you use an unprotected redlink in documentation someone is just going to create the page. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:19, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:26, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request to move some templates ==

Hello, I'm working through some template clean-up and have found some pages that I think should be moved. In addition can whoever moves them delete or supress any resulting redirects, as they will not be helpful.

Firstly, can someone please remove the admin level protection from [[Template:error]] and move [[Template:error2]] to this title? There's no real reason for this template to have a number in its title except to get around the page salting (which seems to have been a bit of an overkill response for a single piece of IP vandalism).

Secondly can someone make the following moves, deleting any redirects:
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd2}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd2}}
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd3}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd3}}
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd4}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd4}}
Because there is no such thing as &quot;articles for deletion&quot; on this project. There are no current usages of these templates, so no real need to leave a redirect. I cleaned up the text of these templates a few days ago, but the title still needs to be changed.

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:31, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} (all four move requests). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:44, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Clean-up help needed ==

Hello again, sorry for all the messages.

I need a bit of help cleaning up a bit of a mess I just found via [[Special:WantedCategories]] while cleaning up some template documentation.

It seems that about a month ago Ilovemydoodle tried to rename some categories, which they did by just moving the category page, without updating the actual category links in articles. The moved categories were therefore deleted as empty categories, and the redirects left over from the move (which is where all the actual pages are) were deleted as redirects to a deleted page.

For each of these pages either the category page either needs to be undeleted and moved back to the title where the articles are, or the category page needs to be undeleted and the articles moved to the new category.

List of Category pages and the articles supposed to be in them:
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Pakistan]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Pakistanis]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Bahrain]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Bahraini]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Burundi]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Burundians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Russia]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Russians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Rwanda]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Rwandans]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Senegal]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Senegalese]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from the Solomon Islands]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Solomon Islanders]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Spain]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Spaniards]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Swaziland]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Swazi]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Türkiye]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Turkish people]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Tanzania]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Tanzanians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Thailand]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Thai people]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Togo]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Togolese]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Taiwan]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Taiwanese people]]
* Category page deleted at [[: Category:People from Tuvalu]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Tuvaluan]]

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:40, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:35, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:40, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{re|Ilovemydoodle}} You can't just move categories like that. The cat page is just a dumbly compiled automatic list. The thing that actually puts the page in the category is on each article individually. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:48, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Speedy deletion backlog ==

Hello,

[[:Category:Candidates for speedy deletion]] is quite badly backlogged, there are pages in it that have been tagged for &quot;speedy&quot; deletion since the start of June. Would someone be able to take a look?

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:43, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:04, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

== Phab ticket ==

Would someone with a phabricator account be willing to look at [[Phab:T313189]]? It's requesting changes to this site's configuration that I do not think have consensus on the basis that everyone who opposed the proposal should have their &quot;votes&quot; removed for being &quot;invalid&quot;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:11, 28 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:09:52Z</timestamp>
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        <id>4304</id>
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      <comment>/* Finish a deletion nomination */ Latest batch done</comment>
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== Merge ip edits to user account ==

I have been editing under the ip range of [[Special:Contributions/2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64|2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64]], I would like this to be merged to the user account [[User:ilovemydoodle|ilovemydoodle]], Is this possible and if so, can it be done?
{{Collapse bottom}}

== Edit war ==

There has been an ongoing edit war on [[Sonic the Hedgehog 2]] on whether &quot;Shadow&quot;'s eyes are orange or red. Can this be sorted out? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:05, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done|Solved}} '''&lt;sup&gt;(Hopefully)&lt;/sup&gt;''' by [[User:Koavf|Koavf]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:14, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Crosswiki spammer ==

On the [[:Education in India]] page, please hide the two edits immediately prior to my edit. They contain a spam link being pushed across numerous wikis. Cheers. ['''[[:User:Cromium|&lt;sub&gt;24&lt;/sub&gt;Cr]]''']['''[[:User talk:Cromium|talk]]'''] 12:40, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:53, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== Finish a deletion nomination ==

Hello, please could someone add [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Formatting]] to the log page for me? I can't do it as an IP because the page has been protected. Thank you! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:21, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:26, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Thanks a bunch, much appreciated.
::If you get a minute could you also add:
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:N]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:This]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Vote removed]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Strikethrough templates]]
::to the same page? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:40, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} as well. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 20:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Could you please also list these four discussions?:
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:LTADatabase]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:REDACTED]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Always substitute]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:T]]
::::Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:12, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Forgot to ping you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:16, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 23:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Could you please add these discussions too?
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Change title]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ping active users]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Bansock]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Banplz]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Welcome-Formatting]]
::::::Thanks! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:13, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{Done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:37, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Another batch, if that's OK:
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:First article]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Sandbox link]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Userspace linking templates]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:SpellCheck]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-g12]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-copyvio-notice]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Category:Suspected Wikipedia sockpuppets of GR&lt;noinclude/&gt;P]] 
::::::::Thanks! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:17, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:49, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Thanks a bunch, and thanks for adding some of the discussions I just started.
::::::::::In this edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Votes_for_deletion&amp;diff=3146967&amp;oldid=3146966] you seem to have accidentally deleted [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-copyvio-notice]] while doing some cleanup, please could you re-add it to the list?
::::::::::Also a few more nominations:
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Uw-afd5]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ensure AAA contrast ratio]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Templatesnotice]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Closed and Template:Reopen]]
::::::::::Thanks again! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:02, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Forgot to ping again. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:44, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{done}} (and fixed the one I inadvertently deleted). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:42, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] A few more if you don't mind:
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Subst]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Hash]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote-line]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Uw-speedydeletion]]
::::::::::::Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:40, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:09, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

== Broken links in contributions page ==

also, while I'm here, the SUL info link in [[MediaWiki:Sp-contributions-footer]] leads to a deleted tool, and the &quot;supercount&quot; tool has been renamed to xtools and moved to a different domain. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:03, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:28, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Sorry, you seem to have gotten that back to front. The link you removed still works, but it now redirects you to a different site because it was replaced by a new tool. The one that is broken without replacement is the &quot;SUL info&quot; link. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:25, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::done}} Whoopsie daisy. Thanks.{ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:28, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== [[User: Eaglestorm]] again ==

This user with a history of being disruptive (just see their [[User talk:Eaglestorm]]) and a permanent block from English WP was recently globally unblocked on a technicality and is back to their [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Eaglestorm typical antics] of ruthlessly “enforcing” the non-policy, unofficial guideline of [[WQ:LOQ]] via edit warring and being hostile and stubborn when asked to negotiate a solution. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:29, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:here we go. did you even read the stewards report? I'm up to &quot;typical antics&quot; ... YOU'RE PLAIN OBSESSED with taking me down. What nonpolicy are you talking about? The one that's been effective with copyvio for the last 14 years?  --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 03:33, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::Yes, you still are being a net negative here. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:35, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::Do you not understand what '''''proposed''''' means here?! [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:38, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:Do you have diffs of edit-warring? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:01, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{re|Dronebogus}} It looks a bit like you saw ES editing, and went around revering their edits across articles, including apparently on a least some article you'd never edited before, meaning you weren't following your watchlist, you were following ES. I guess we can add repeatedly reverting ES on their own talk page.
: So that's not all exactly a pristine position from which to argue about someone else's disruptiveness. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:26, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::I know that, but ES is enforcing a proposed policy in a disruptive manner and is refusing to negotiate even when asked to. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 22:15, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Well, one part inherent in LOQ certainly is policy: that excessively lengthy passages run afoul of copyright. But if you're gonna pick a hill to die on, I'm not sure the right one is ensuring that the article on GAT V includes riveting lines such as &quot;'''Jimmy De Santa''': Go away. '''Michael De Santa''': What?&quot; [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:08, 25 July 2022 (UTC)

== Salt a page title for use in documentation ==

Hello,

I'm planning on re-writing {{tl|redlink}} at some point in the next few days to make the implementation of this template a bit more sensible. As part of that I'd like to set it up so it creates links to a salted page title, rather than a random subpage of the template. Would someone be willing to creation protect a title for this purpose? Something like [[Wikiquote:redlink example]] would work well. I know from experience if you use an unprotected redlink in documentation someone is just going to create the page. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:19, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:26, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request to move some templates ==

Hello, I'm working through some template clean-up and have found some pages that I think should be moved. In addition can whoever moves them delete or supress any resulting redirects, as they will not be helpful.

Firstly, can someone please remove the admin level protection from [[Template:error]] and move [[Template:error2]] to this title? There's no real reason for this template to have a number in its title except to get around the page salting (which seems to have been a bit of an overkill response for a single piece of IP vandalism).

Secondly can someone make the following moves, deleting any redirects:
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd2}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd2}}
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd3}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd3}}
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd4}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd4}}
Because there is no such thing as &quot;articles for deletion&quot; on this project. There are no current usages of these templates, so no real need to leave a redirect. I cleaned up the text of these templates a few days ago, but the title still needs to be changed.

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:31, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} (all four move requests). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:44, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Clean-up help needed ==

Hello again, sorry for all the messages.

I need a bit of help cleaning up a bit of a mess I just found via [[Special:WantedCategories]] while cleaning up some template documentation.

It seems that about a month ago Ilovemydoodle tried to rename some categories, which they did by just moving the category page, without updating the actual category links in articles. The moved categories were therefore deleted as empty categories, and the redirects left over from the move (which is where all the actual pages are) were deleted as redirects to a deleted page.

For each of these pages either the category page either needs to be undeleted and moved back to the title where the articles are, or the category page needs to be undeleted and the articles moved to the new category.

List of Category pages and the articles supposed to be in them:
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Pakistan]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Pakistanis]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Bahrain]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Bahraini]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Burundi]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Burundians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Russia]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Russians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Rwanda]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Rwandans]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Senegal]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Senegalese]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from the Solomon Islands]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Solomon Islanders]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Spain]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Spaniards]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Swaziland]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Swazi]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Türkiye]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Turkish people]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Tanzania]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Tanzanians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Thailand]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Thai people]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Togo]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Togolese]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Taiwan]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Taiwanese people]]
* Category page deleted at [[: Category:People from Tuvalu]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Tuvaluan]]

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:40, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:35, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:40, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{re|Ilovemydoodle}} You can't just move categories like that. The cat page is just a dumbly compiled automatic list. The thing that actually puts the page in the category is on each article individually. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:48, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Speedy deletion backlog ==

Hello,

[[:Category:Candidates for speedy deletion]] is quite badly backlogged, there are pages in it that have been tagged for &quot;speedy&quot; deletion since the start of June. Would someone be able to take a look?

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:43, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:04, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

== Phab ticket ==

Would someone with a phabricator account be willing to look at [[Phab:T313189]]? It's requesting changes to this site's configuration that I do not think have consensus on the basis that everyone who opposed the proposal should have their &quot;votes&quot; removed for being &quot;invalid&quot;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:11, 28 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
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== Merge ip edits to user account ==

I have been editing under the ip range of [[Special:Contributions/2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64|2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64]], I would like this to be merged to the user account [[User:ilovemydoodle|ilovemydoodle]], Is this possible and if so, can it be done?
{{Collapse bottom}}

== Crosswiki spammer ==

On the [[:Education in India]] page, please hide the two edits immediately prior to my edit. They contain a spam link being pushed across numerous wikis. Cheers. ['''[[:User:Cromium|&lt;sub&gt;24&lt;/sub&gt;Cr]]''']['''[[:User talk:Cromium|talk]]'''] 12:40, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:53, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

== Finish a deletion nomination ==

Hello, please could someone add [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Formatting]] to the log page for me? I can't do it as an IP because the page has been protected. Thank you! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:21, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:26, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Thanks a bunch, much appreciated.
::If you get a minute could you also add:
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:N]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:This]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Vote removed]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Strikethrough templates]]
::to the same page? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:40, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} as well. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 20:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Could you please also list these four discussions?:
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:LTADatabase]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:REDACTED]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Always substitute]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:T]]
::::Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:12, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Forgot to ping you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:16, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 23:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Could you please add these discussions too?
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Change title]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ping active users]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Bansock]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Banplz]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Welcome-Formatting]]
::::::Thanks! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:13, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{Done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:37, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Another batch, if that's OK:
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:First article]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Sandbox link]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Userspace linking templates]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:SpellCheck]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-g12]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-copyvio-notice]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Category:Suspected Wikipedia sockpuppets of GR&lt;noinclude/&gt;P]] 
::::::::Thanks! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:17, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:49, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Thanks a bunch, and thanks for adding some of the discussions I just started.
::::::::::In this edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Votes_for_deletion&amp;diff=3146967&amp;oldid=3146966] you seem to have accidentally deleted [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-copyvio-notice]] while doing some cleanup, please could you re-add it to the list?
::::::::::Also a few more nominations:
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Uw-afd5]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ensure AAA contrast ratio]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Templatesnotice]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Closed and Template:Reopen]]
::::::::::Thanks again! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:02, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Forgot to ping again. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:44, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{done}} (and fixed the one I inadvertently deleted). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:42, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] A few more if you don't mind:
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Subst]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Hash]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote-line]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Uw-speedydeletion]]
::::::::::::Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:40, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:09, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

== Broken links in contributions page ==

also, while I'm here, the SUL info link in [[MediaWiki:Sp-contributions-footer]] leads to a deleted tool, and the &quot;supercount&quot; tool has been renamed to xtools and moved to a different domain. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:03, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:28, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Sorry, you seem to have gotten that back to front. The link you removed still works, but it now redirects you to a different site because it was replaced by a new tool. The one that is broken without replacement is the &quot;SUL info&quot; link. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:25, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::done}} Whoopsie daisy. Thanks.{ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:28, 20 July 2022 (UTC)

== [[User: Eaglestorm]] again ==

This user with a history of being disruptive (just see their [[User talk:Eaglestorm]]) and a permanent block from English WP was recently globally unblocked on a technicality and is back to their [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Eaglestorm typical antics] of ruthlessly “enforcing” the non-policy, unofficial guideline of [[WQ:LOQ]] via edit warring and being hostile and stubborn when asked to negotiate a solution. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:29, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:here we go. did you even read the stewards report? I'm up to &quot;typical antics&quot; ... YOU'RE PLAIN OBSESSED with taking me down. What nonpolicy are you talking about? The one that's been effective with copyvio for the last 14 years?  --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 03:33, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::Yes, you still are being a net negative here. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:35, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::Do you not understand what '''''proposed''''' means here?! [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:38, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:Do you have diffs of edit-warring? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:01, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{re|Dronebogus}} It looks a bit like you saw ES editing, and went around revering their edits across articles, including apparently on a least some article you'd never edited before, meaning you weren't following your watchlist, you were following ES. I guess we can add repeatedly reverting ES on their own talk page.
: So that's not all exactly a pristine position from which to argue about someone else's disruptiveness. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:26, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::I know that, but ES is enforcing a proposed policy in a disruptive manner and is refusing to negotiate even when asked to. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 22:15, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Well, one part inherent in LOQ certainly is policy: that excessively lengthy passages run afoul of copyright. But if you're gonna pick a hill to die on, I'm not sure the right one is ensuring that the article on GAT V includes riveting lines such as &quot;'''Jimmy De Santa''': Go away. '''Michael De Santa''': What?&quot; [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:08, 25 July 2022 (UTC)

== Salt a page title for use in documentation ==

Hello,

I'm planning on re-writing {{tl|redlink}} at some point in the next few days to make the implementation of this template a bit more sensible. As part of that I'd like to set it up so it creates links to a salted page title, rather than a random subpage of the template. Would someone be willing to creation protect a title for this purpose? Something like [[Wikiquote:redlink example]] would work well. I know from experience if you use an unprotected redlink in documentation someone is just going to create the page. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:19, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:26, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request to move some templates ==

Hello, I'm working through some template clean-up and have found some pages that I think should be moved. In addition can whoever moves them delete or supress any resulting redirects, as they will not be helpful.

Firstly, can someone please remove the admin level protection from [[Template:error]] and move [[Template:error2]] to this title? There's no real reason for this template to have a number in its title except to get around the page salting (which seems to have been a bit of an overkill response for a single piece of IP vandalism).

Secondly can someone make the following moves, deleting any redirects:
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd2}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd2}}
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd3}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd3}}
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd4}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd4}}
Because there is no such thing as &quot;articles for deletion&quot; on this project. There are no current usages of these templates, so no real need to leave a redirect. I cleaned up the text of these templates a few days ago, but the title still needs to be changed.

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:31, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} (all four move requests). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:44, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Clean-up help needed ==

Hello again, sorry for all the messages.

I need a bit of help cleaning up a bit of a mess I just found via [[Special:WantedCategories]] while cleaning up some template documentation.

It seems that about a month ago Ilovemydoodle tried to rename some categories, which they did by just moving the category page, without updating the actual category links in articles. The moved categories were therefore deleted as empty categories, and the redirects left over from the move (which is where all the actual pages are) were deleted as redirects to a deleted page.

For each of these pages either the category page either needs to be undeleted and moved back to the title where the articles are, or the category page needs to be undeleted and the articles moved to the new category.

List of Category pages and the articles supposed to be in them:
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Pakistan]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Pakistanis]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Bahrain]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Bahraini]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Burundi]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Burundians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Russia]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Russians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Rwanda]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Rwandans]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Senegal]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Senegalese]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from the Solomon Islands]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Solomon Islanders]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Spain]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Spaniards]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Swaziland]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Swazi]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Türkiye]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Turkish people]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Tanzania]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Tanzanians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Thailand]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Thai people]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Togo]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Togolese]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Taiwan]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Taiwanese people]]
* Category page deleted at [[: Category:People from Tuvalu]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Tuvaluan]]

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:40, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:35, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:40, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{re|Ilovemydoodle}} You can't just move categories like that. The cat page is just a dumbly compiled automatic list. The thing that actually puts the page in the category is on each article individually. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:48, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Speedy deletion backlog ==

Hello,

[[:Category:Candidates for speedy deletion]] is quite badly backlogged, there are pages in it that have been tagged for &quot;speedy&quot; deletion since the start of June. Would someone be able to take a look?

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:43, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:04, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

== Phab ticket ==

Would someone with a phabricator account be willing to look at [[Phab:T313189]]? It's requesting changes to this site's configuration that I do not think have consensus on the basis that everyone who opposed the proposal should have their &quot;votes&quot; removed for being &quot;invalid&quot;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:11, 28 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>103ndore1kjvzj24l8mwoa1i4hrwp3c</sha1>
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  <page>
    <title>Ginger Rogers</title>
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      <text bytes="4370" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Ginger Rogers - Tender Comrade.jpg|thumb|right|I don't think blessings are one sided.]]
'''[[w:Ginger Rogers|Ginger Rogers]]''' (born '''Virginia Katherine McMath'''; [[July 16]], [[1911]] – [[April 25]], [[1995]]) was an American film and stage actress, dancer and singer.

== Quotes ==
* I loved Fred so, and I mean that in the nicest, warmest way: I had such affection for him artistically. I think that experience with Fred was a divine blessing. It blessed me, I know, and I don't think blessings are one sided.
** Reported by Dick Richards in &quot;Ginger: Salute to a Star&quot;, quoting Rogers from Francis Wyndham's story about Ginger Rogers, in London's &quot;Sunday Times Magazine&quot;.

* That's pure bunk. I adored Fred. We were good friends. Our only problem is that we never aspired to be any kind of a team. We didn't want to be Abbott and Costello. We thought of ourselves as individuals. We didn't intend to be another [[w:Frick and Frack|Frick and Frack]]. ''[smiling, after a pause]'' But it happened anyway, didn't it? And I'll be forever grateful it did.
** Responding to assertions of discord between herself and [[Fred Astaire]]; quoted in &quot;Leading Couples&quot;, by TCM's Robert Osborne, p.&amp;nbsp;11.

==About==
* Ginger Rogers did everything [[Fred Astaire]] did, except backwards and in high heels.
** The line originated in a 1982 [[w:Frank and Ernest (comic strip)|Frank and Ernest]] cartoon ([http://www.reelclassics.com/Actresses/Ginger/ginger-article2.htm image]) by Bob Thaves as &quot;Sure he was great, but don't forget that Ginger Rogers did everything he did, ...backwards and in high heels.&quot; On the internet and in many publications the line is incorrectly attributed to [[Faith Whittlesey]] (see {{cite news|title=List of Websites That Have Attributed Thaves' Line to Whittlesey|url=http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&amp;rls=en-us&amp;num=100&amp;newwindow=1&amp;q=%22Faith+Whittlesey%22+%22Ginger+Rogers%22+-incorrect+-incorrectly+-%22Bob+Thaves%22+-%22Ann+Richards%22&amp;aq=f&amp;oq=&amp;aqi=|accessdate=2009-07-25|publisher=[[Google]]}}) or Rogers herself. [[Ann Richards]] popularized the line by using it in a [[w:Ann_Richards#1988_Democratic_National_Convention|speech]] but she credits [[Linda Ellerbee]] with giving her the line, and Ellerbee credits an anonymous passenger on an airplane with giving her the line (see {{cite news|author=Keyes, Ralph (2006)|title=The Quote Verifier: Who Said What, Where, and When|publisher=St. Martin's Griffin|page=77|ISBN=0312340044}}). The official [http://www.gingerrogers.com/about/quotes.html Ginger Rogers website] attributes the line to Thaves.

* What's all this talk about me being teamed with Ginger Rogers? I will not have it Leland--I did not go into pictures to be teamed with her or anyone else, and if that is the program in mind for me I will not stand for it. I don't mind making another picture with her but as for this teams idea, it's out.
** Fred Astaire in a letter to his agent Leland Hayward dated February 9, 1934. He went on to make a further nine musical films with Rogers.

* She had guts.
** Fred Astaire's description of Rogers from his autobiography ''[[w:Steps in Time|Steps in Time]]''.

* The hardest working actress I ever knew.
** Fred Astaire's description of Rogers' discipline and willingness to work, from ''Steps in Time''.

* Ginger was brilliantly effective. She made everything work for her. Actually she made things very fine for both of us and she deserves most of the credit for our success.
** Fred Astaire to Raymond Rohauser, Film Curator of the New York Gallery of Modern Art, at the San Francisco Film Festival, in 1966.

* Believe me, Ginger was great. She contributed her full fifty percent in making them such a great team. She could follow Fred as if one brain was thinking. She blended with his every step and mood immaculately. He was able to do dances on screen that would have been impossible to risk if he hadn't had a partner like Ginger - as skillful as she was attractive.
**[[Edward Everett Horton]] to Dick Richards. ''Ginger - Salute to a Star'', p. 162.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Rogers, Ginger}}
[[Category:1911 births]]
[[Category:1995 deaths]]
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Missouri]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Outlaw Star</title>
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      <text bytes="31792" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Outlaw Star|Outlaw Star]]''''' (星方武侠アウトロースター, Seihō Bukyō Autorō Sutā?, translated as &quot;Starward Warrior Knight Outlaw Star&quot;) is a manga series written and illustrated by [[w:Takehiko Ito|Takehiko Ito]]. The series takes place in the distant future, 150 years after the development of spacecraft capable of traveling faster than the speed of light, and follows the motley crew of the titular ship: the Outlaw Star.

== Season 1==

===Outlaw World [1.1]===

:'''Gene''': (to himself) I've got a bad feeling about this...but a job's a job.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Gene''': Okay, so your real name is Hilda. Why are those pirates after you?
:'''Hilda''': I'm their enemy. We're after the same treasure.
:'''Jim''': Treasure? This is bad news, Gene! Let's get out of here!
:'''Gene''': You don't actually think that they'll let us go now, do you?
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Jim''': Women will be the death of you someday.
:'''Gene''': Right, I can't forget to include that in my plan for an ideal life.

=== ''Star of Desire'' [1.2] ===

:'''Narrator''': A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him. What awaits him down the path, he will then have to choose. The boy doesn't always know. At some point, the boy then becomes an adult and learns what he was able to become. Joy and sadness forever will accompany this. He is confronted with a choice - when this happens, does he bid his past farewell in his heart? Once a boy becomes an adult, he can no longer go back to being a boy. The boy is now a man. Only one thing can be said: A boy has the right to dream, for those endless possibilities are stretched out before him. We must remember, all men were once boys.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Swanzo''': There are 3 powers in space. The Space Forces, the pirates, and outlaws. The difference is what motivates them. What motivates an outlaw varies from person to person. Good or bad, doesn't figure in solidarity in their duty.
:'''Jim Hawkins''': Jim: So that's what makes them outlaws.

=== Into burning space [1.3]===

:'''Narrator''': With the development of the munchousen drive, which made faster than light space travel prossible, humanity entered into a new era of space odysseys. They set out into the universe, into this infinite sea. Explorers, soldiers, colonists. All sorts of travelers with all sorts of names crossed the sea of stars and spread out across all sorts of worlds. But when law and order were created, those who disturbed it appeared. And when wealth and interest were made those who would plunder them appeared. Just as in the last great age of sailing, pirates were reborn in space. But in this new age of odysseys a new breed of sailor appeared who worked outside the law, but sided with neither space pirate nor space forces: Outlaws. This was the name given to those who traveled to space with only his freedom as his guide. 

:'''Horis''': 5 planetary grappler ships have launched from Blue Heaven and are closing in.
: '''Hilda''': Gene, hey Gene!
: '''Gene''': Huh, what is it?
: '''Hilda''': You ever fight in a spaceship before?
: '''Gene''': No, even if I did, I don't want to now.
: '''Hilda''': I thought you had experience as a pilot.
* '''Gene''': I do, I might puke all over the console.
* '''Horis''': Warning, that may cause a short circuit.
* '''Jim''': If you don't have a problem with it, I'll help.
* '''Hilda''': Can you operate a laser cannon?
* '''Jim''': Sure, I know how to use one.
* '''Hilda''': It's to your right. If they close in, open fire.
* '''Jim''': Okay.
* '''Hilda''': Melfina, sit in the auxiliary control chair. You're able to do it.
* '''Melfina''': Alright, I'll try.
* '''Horis''': Warning, please avoid any reckless evasive maneuvers until we are out of Blue Heaven's approach lane.
* '''Hilda''': Alright, continue accelerating.
* '''McCoy Henchman1''': They won't get away, lets split ourselves up.
* '''McCoy Henchman2''': Right.
* '''Horis''': Grappler ships to aft have split into 2 groups.
* '''Hilda''': Jim, eyes up, they're coming in from the rear.
* '''Jim''': Gotcha.
* '''Jim''': There they are!
* '''McCoy''': Ain't gonna work little lady!
* '''Horis''': Enemy craft have anti-laser defenses.
* '''Jim''': Uhh... Hilda, what are we gonna do?
* '''Hilda''': Keep firing, it'll keep them on their toes at least.
* '''Jim''': Okay.
* '''Gene''': Ugh...
* '''McCoy''': (laughs) Running out of time.
* '''Horis''': Further evasion is dangerous. Now leaving guide path.
* '''Melfina''': Grappler ship closing in from above!
* '''McCoy Henchman1''': Okay, lady, gotcha this time.
* '''Hilda''': Horis, we need a rapid climb.
* '''Gene''': Ugh...
* '''McCoy Henchman1''': Ahh man!
* '''Hilda''': How much longer until we're cleared of the asteroid zone?
* '''Horis''': 482 seconds.
* '''Melfina''': I see something thats closing in on us from ahead. It's a large ship.
* '''Horis''': Ship is cruiser class. Type unknown. It is on a collision course.
* '''Hilda''': Send out a warning.
* '''Horis''': They claim they have the right of way.
* '''Aisha''': This is the Orta Hone Hone, registered to the Ctarl Ctarl empire. I am speaking to you as Ambassador Planetary Penitentiary Aisha Clan Clan. With total authority in all space,
held by the Ctarl Ctarl empire. We are docking at Blue Heaven, clear the way.
* '''Crowd''': Clear the way (~ 10 times)
* '''Ctarl Ctarl1''': Make way for the Ctarl Ctarl empire!
* '''Ctarl Ctarl2''': If you don't clear the we're gonna whip your butt.
* '''McCoy Henchman1''': The Ctarl Ctarl empire!
* '''McCoy Henchman2''': What should we do?
* '''McCoy''': Like we really have a choice? These guys are even worse than the pirates!
* '''Hilda''': Listen, I'm an outlaw. I hate to say it, but I don't have a treaty with you, understand? This departing ship is taking the right of way.
* '''Jim''': Huh? You're picking a fight with the Ctarl Ctarl?
* '''Gene''': Hey Jim, tell me, what are the Ctarl Ctarl like again?
* '''Jim'''': They're like a cross between a human and a tiger. They're really nasty.
* '''Technician1''': Approaching ship isn't changing course!
* '''Aisha''': Wait! Wait a minute, thats crazy!
* '''Technician2''': Stop messing around!
* '''Technician3''': Moron!
* '''Technician1''': We're gonna eat you.
* '''Hilda''': Don't worry. If you drop your shield, they'll be enough room for us to pass.
* '''Aisha''': What?! You defy the Ctarl Ctarl empire!? Grr....
* '''Hilda''': Without it the ships will collide!
* '''Aisha''': What? Just a minute!
* '''Technician2''': Graphic shields altering course 3 degrees to port.
* '''Technician1''': Firing starboard blasters for 10 seconds.
* '''Jim''': Ugh... ugh...
* '''Aisha''': Aaaahhh! Arrr!
* '''Gene''': Oh boy...
* '''McCoy Henchman1''': Kay, go after them.
* '''Aisha''': Hey! Hold it right there! All of you stop your ships do you hear me? You're under arrest in the name of the Ctarl Ctarl empire!
* '''McCoy Henchman3''': Oh no, what should we do?
* '''McCoy Henchman4''': What else can we do? We can't get away from that ship.
* '''Aisha''': Hey! You outlaws, hold on!
* '''Horis''': T minus 60 until asteroid zone is cleared. Warning. Warning. Further acceleration within asteroid zone is dangerous.
* '''Jim''': Aaaah!
* '''Aisha''': Grr! Blast it! Everyone's trying to make fools of us. That does it, fire! I said fire!
* '''Crowd''': Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
* '''Technician1''': But Lady Aisha, firing within the asteroid cluster is...
* '''Aisha''': Quiet! This is in the honor of the Ctarl Ctarl!
* '''Technician1''': Yes, m'am!
* '''Crowd''': Fire
* '''Aisha''': Grrr!
* '''Technician3''': Lady Aisha blew it, she should have listened to him!
* '''Gene''': Oh Hilda, where are we headed off to this time?
* '''Hilda''': Just a little star system. Meeting up with some friends there.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hilda''': Just how long are you going to keep whining?
:'''Gene''': If I can't hit anything, I can't hit anything!
:'''Hilda''': You're  gonna just keep running away?!
:'''Gene''': Running away? I'm not running...

=== ''When the Hot Ice Melts'' [1.4] ===

:'''Narrator''': Grappler arms were originally manipulators that were attached to EVA crafts. At first, it was the Chinese pirates that put the arm's abilities to new and devious uses. After the Chinese transport carried dragonite from planet to planet, the pirates began to attack their own craft with surprising intensity. To the pirates of the era, arms symbolized the strength of their ships and before long they integrated the arms into their attack methods. The Federation Space Forces became extremely irate with this situation and began developing grappler arms of their own, bragging that they planned to formally equip space forces fighters with them in the near future. They would be a force to be reckoned with. Because of the complicated manner in which space fighters used these grappler arms, space combat was clearly impossible without the aid of powerful computers. The combination of grappler arms and potent computers savagely pushed human physical and mental capacity to their limits and those that survived battle were spoken of with respect. They were known as grapplers.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Jim Hawkins''': Wow, I'm impressed. You managed to get on the bad side of the pirates and the space forces.
:'''Hot Ice Hilda''': I owed 'em one.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Gene Starwind''': Who are you?
:'''Gilliam''': I am myself. But it is inappropriate for me to subjectively define who I am. I'd take means to test the veracity of any such definition. And the restraints therefore have been placed within me restricting such an act.
:'''Gene Starwind''': What the heck kind of answer is that?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hot Ice Hilda''': Still read me Gene? Just remember, outlaws never go down easy, no matter what happens to them.

===The Beast Girl, Ready to Pounce! [1.5]===

:'''Narrator''': This young girl grew up in the sun. With joy, laughter, and friendships. She felt nothing but the pleasure of being in her place in the sun. This girl was born into a proud noble family, surrounded by love, and graduated with honors from the highest academic institution in the land. Now not graduating with honors was only a faint shadow. But in her land, where respect was given to rank, it held great meaning. The post given to those who graduated with honor was space. She was then cast out of her place in the sun. She had no other choice. The choice was not hers. She was officer Aisha Klan Klan of the Ctarl Ctarl empire. Now the pleasure of her lost place in the sun will never return.”
:'''Aisha Clan Clan''':  Nyaaaaah!  It can't end like this!  I WON'T LET IT!!!

:'''Gene Starwind''': Maybe I'll never get over this.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Melfina''': Why was I made? Who made me and what did they make me for?

=== ''The Beautiful Assassin (Uruwashiki Ansatsusha)'' [1.6] ===

:'''Narrator''': To kill. That is this woman's profession. To kill. That is the only means by which she can survive. Her name is Suzuka. There are none who know her past. There are none who ask about her past. Through battle, she finds herself. She weeps as she watches the wind, and senses the currents of the universe in her skin. This is the kind of woman that Suzuka is. She is not a special woman. All women are special. All women possess many faces. Yet, no man has ever seen the faces of Suzuka. All that men can see is the gleaming sword she holds in her hands. Even if these men who see her gleaming blade were to receive just a brief smile, they would never see it or know of it while they were alive. This woman's name is Suzuka. To kill, that is her profession.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Guard''': Do you know why we don't turn you away and lock you out even though you're rude to the young master?
:'''Gene Starwind''': Uh, cause you'll get yourself hurt if you take me on?
:'''Guard''': No, cause the young master happens to love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Suzuka''': Why don't you stop running and learn to face me?
:''[Jim pulls up in his car]''
:'''Jim Hawkins''': Gene, get in!
:'''Gene Starwind''': ''[getting in the car]'' See ya later!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Suzuka''': Worldly desires are foolish. They have cost you your life.
:''''Gene Starwind''': Perhaps, and there is some desires that are big enough to risk your life for. This is one of them. I have to put my life on the line for this.

===Creeping Evil [1.7]===

'''Narrator''': The towards star world where Gene resides is a measureless one. Far away from the central areas, four known pirate groups vie for supremacy. One of the four is after the Outlaw Star and Melfina to destroy them. This particular group are pirates from the Hopo system. They are called the 108 suns. The most brutal member of the Chinese guild. Centered around Tendo, the 108 suns are made up of small groups of 10 or 20. The leaders of these groups control independent organizations, and they also pursue their own interests. Presently the boss of the purates who is now pursuing Gene is called Hazanko. He has power within the 108 stars. But because of the extent of that power, his organization, and the power of the methods he employs  to achieve his goals it is said that the other leaders consider him superior. It is also said that the squads that carry out his orders use a super power called Sin Jitsu. And always slay those who stand against him.

===Forced Departure [1.8]===
'''Narrator:''' Gene Starwind, what are you waiting gor? Where will your hearts desire take you? What will satisfy you? Gene Starwind, are you going to live or will you die here? The decision os yours. Your completely in charge of your own destiny. That’s the only sure thing in life. So believe in yourself. And create your own destiny. Don’t fear failure. You have nothing to lose. The young only acquire things. You’ve come into possession of the Outlaw Star and Melfina. The only question now is “How will you use them?”. Go to the Galactic Layline. No one can stop you. Adventure is waiting for you. You should understand this by now. Time is running out. Open your eyes! Shout out! And continue forward! This is only the beginning of history! 

=== A Journey of Adventure! Huh? [1.9]===

:'''Narrator''': What's beyond that sea I wonder? The children leave their homes in search of this quest. As they search, they are always asking questions. What's out there? What's waiting for me? Leaving their innocence behind, they set out on this journey and experience many life changing adventures. Countless difficulties lie in wait. Moments of despair... The lure of the razor's edge... There's always hope, joy, meeting new friends. They face challenges, but in the process they come to find themselves. This is a journey. When they have conquered a new land, yet another sea is reflected in their eyes. What's beyond that sea? When boys become young men, they begin their own quest. Life is an endless journey.

:'''Gene Starwind''': Just listen for a minute. There's something that my old man told me a long time ago. He always said people who think big make it big. People who choose to only think small will only earn chump change the rest of their lives. It's the way things are! And that is what business is all about. [winks]
:'''Jim Hawking''': Yeah, so what exactly is your point?
:'''Gene Starwind''': Well, I don't know. I guess nothing.

=== ''Mortal Combat With the El Dorado (Eru Dorado-gō to no Shitō)'' [1.12] ===

:'''Narrator''': They kill as well, if it will make them some money that is. Pirates? Outlaws? Space Force flunkies? No, they're none of those. But they'll take jobs from anyone. Right, if it will make them some money. At any rate, they're like Hyenas that are valued by all the powers. They're dangerous if you get to close to them. And they’re good. If they weren't, somebody would have shot them in the back long ago. They are more powerful than other people's hatred of them. Everyone in the Underworld know the name: The MacDougal Brothers. But no one knows what the MacDougal Brothers are really like. They're careful, bold, cunning and will do anything for money. They're dependable, tough, ruthless. Everyone who knows anything more than the rumors has been killed. Yeah, all at the hands of the MacDougal Brothers.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Gene Starwind''': So, who are you?
:'''Gwen Khan''': Hm hm hm. I'm Gwen Khan. Yes, I'm Gwen. I am a race official. Of this race. Hm Hm Hm Hm. That's what I am, an official.
:'''Gene Starwind''': And what exactly makes you so interested in our ship, Mr. Official?
:'''Gwen Khan''': I'm interested, yes interested, yes I am. Its a high performance ship made by an unknown manufacturer. Yes, its a high performance ship it truly is.
:'''Gene Starwind''': Is that so?
:'''Gwen Khan''': C'mon now, tell, do tell, how did you come by that ship, I must know. That is the mystery. Yes, that is the mystery.
:'''Gene Starwind''': Hmm... We found it.
:'''Gwen Khan''': Found it? Hm, you found it. Is that possible? No. How odd. You found it.
:'''Gene Starwind''': Yep, it was abandoned, and without an owner. So I guess that means it's our ship now. Is that a problem?
:'''Gwen Khan''': A problem? A problem? Let's see... I suppose there isn't. No, no problem at all.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Harry MacDougal''': Oh shit, you're hurting me Ron! Stop! Ow, my arm, my arm, my arm!
:'''Ron MacDougal''': Calm down Harry, calm down. If you're a MacDougal man, you don't get upset over a stupid little scratch.
:'''Harry MacDougal''': Right, I'm so sorry brother.
:'''Ron MacDougal''': Hey, it's alright. We're gonna do a whole lot worse to the guy who did this to you.
:'''Harry MacDougal''': Right, and I promise I won't back down like that again. That woman... That woman...

===Advance Guard from Another world [1.13]===

===Final Countdown [1.14]===

:'''Narrator''':A thief once opined:”I may steal but that does not make me inhuman.” Those outlaws who are adrift and roaming the universe say: “You may not have the urge to break the law, but you are still bound to ignore it.” The blind and self serving vanity of the thief. The archaic and old-fashioned code of the pirate. The vainglorious and narcissistic pride of the outlaw. These may merely be white lies to delude themselves and others that they may, to some extent, be considered upright people. Whether fact or fiction, the Outlaws live by and follow a code that they take pride in. On the other hand, ruffians who live outside the law, and follow no code at all, cause some of the greatest calamities.

=== ''The Seven Emerge'' [1.15] ===

:'''Narrator''': Under the direct command of Hazanko, leader of the 108 stars, are the Anten Seven. A feared group of assassins. Tobigiera. A master of disguise and the tools of killing. Hanmeo. A prodigy in space combat with the use of cats. Iraga. A werewolf with miraculous life force. Jukai. His abilities are shrouded in mystery. Hitoriga. A man advanced in the martial arts much like the leader of the Anten Seven. Hamushi. A woman who captivates men purely by her sex appeal. Shimi. A warrior whose skill is such that there is no one in the pirate guild who has never heard of him. If someone were unfortunate enough to make an enemy of the Anten Seven, and forced to fight against  them, I would say only this: Farewell, friend.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Leilong''': I know when you're young you have to be a smart-ass, even though you can't necessarily back it up.
:'''Gene Starwind''': You sure have a harsh way of looking at things, don't ya?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Gene Starwind''': So, listen, have you ever been in a duel?
:'''Leilong''': Yeah sure, I've had a few.
:'''Gene Starwind''': Heh heh, so you see, you lived through every one of them, didn't ya?
:'''Leilong''': I'm not making any excuses, but lets just say at the time I had no choice, it was something I had to do. In my own way I show respect for those who have died.
:'''Gene Starwind''': Respect... respect... heh hm.
:'''Leilong''': That's right, and living means something to me. That why I'm still alive to talk about it.
:'''Gene Starwind''': Hmm. Well I know one thing, I sure as heck don't feel like losing. Not now.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Gene Starwind''': So this guy was your flunkie, is that it?
:'''Leilong''': He was more like a pupil really. He didn't have any talent so he died. That's all it amounts to.

===Demon of the Water Planet [1.16]===

===Between Life and Machine [1.17]===
:'''Harry''': Nothing good can ever come of staying with normal people.

===The Strongest Woman in the Universe [1.18]===

:’’’Aisha:’’’ For someone as brave as you are, Suz, you sure are a worrywart.
:’’’Suzuka:’’’ (offended) FOR THE LAST TIME! STOP CALLING ME BY THAT NAME!
:’’’Aisha:’’’ Have no fear! Just leave everything to Aisha! I’ve already got a million ideas how I’m gonna spend the prize money!

===Law and Lawlessness [1.19]===

:'''Aisha''': What in the world's going on?
:'''Jim''': Ha ha! I just sabotaged their mainframe computer by remote control.
:'''Aisha''': You're a genius, Jim.
:'''Gene''': Way to go, buddy.
:'''Jim''': I couldn't have done it without Melfina.
:'''Melfina''': Two enemy ships coming in.
:'''Gene''': Only two anchors left, isn't that right?
:'''Melfina''': Launching anchors number 5 and 6.
:'''Gene''': We're going in. Yeah! Eat this! Your power's about the same, huh?
:'''Melfina''': Ugh! The other ship's coming in now!
:'''Jim''': I think we're in trouble, Gene.
:'''Gilliam''': Be careful, Gene. I'm being accessed by the enemy ship's main computer.
:'''Gene''': Hey, what the?
:'''Doose''': Looks like we made it just in time.
:'''Gene''': Its that lizard!
:'''Valeria''': Gene, it's okay. Let us be the one to handle the carrier, all right?
:'''Doose''': Hey boy, you said something about there being 3 powers that exist in space. All right, step aside then and I'll show you what the might of the military's power looks like. All ships, commence your barrage!
:'''Gene''': Now that's impressive.
:'''Doose''': What's the matter boy, do you need me to finish the job for ya?
:'''Gene''': Hah, watch me. Now you lose!

===Girls and Cats and Spaceships [1.20]===

:'''Hanmio''': Guess who?
:'''Jim''': Hanmio?
:'''Hanmio''': Thats right!
:'''Jim''': Um.. here.
:'''Hanmio''': You brought me flowers? Wow! That is so nice.

===Grave of the Dragon [1.21]===
:'''Gene''': (stands over Harry with aiming his gun at him) I don't think I'm going to miss, this time!

===Gravity Jailbreak [1.22]===

===Hot Springs Planet Tenrei [1.23]===
:'''Jim''': (after passing immigration) Immigration matters, huh
:'''Aisha''': All we did was change clothes!
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:(Gene tumbles down the mountain into the lava hot springs where Aisha is soaking. Gene scrambles out.)
:'''Aisha''': Now I get it. You came here all this way just to see me naked, huh?
:'''Gene''': That's not it! I didn't come here to, uh...
:(Gene stares at the fully naked Aisha and falls in the lava.)
:'''Gene''': HOT! HOT! HOT!
:'''Aisha''': He's getting all worked up for this? Talk about no self-control.

=== ''Cutting the Galactic Leyline'' [1.24] ===

:'''Narrator''': Gene Starwind. Jim Hawking. Melfina. Suzuka. Aisha Clan Clan. Fred Lou. Ron MacDougal. Harry MacDougal. Gwen Khan. Hazanko. Hitoriga. Hamushi. Jukai. Tobigiera. The Outlaw Star. The Geomancer. The Shangri-La. Very well then, the cast is assembled. I will show you what the Galactic Leyline is. Well, even when you find out you won't be surprised. You think you know what its all about do you? Well maybe what you think it is is only what you want it to be, or simply something that you want to know. When a mystery is solved it ceases to be a mystery, and the curiosity fades with it. Even though people know this, they search out mysteries because they like to say &quot;Oh, so thats what it was.&quot; Yes. Let me start to help you choose these mysteries you want to solve. into well known facts.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hazanko''': What do you think you're up to? Loathsome jackals like you don't have a chance of getting in there.
:'''Ron MacDougal''': Jackals, huh? Nah, we're big game hunters. We're gonna take down the XGP for starters, then plunder the Leyline.

:'''Gene''' (in the Episode 25 preview, thinking about Melfina): Melfina, I never knew anything about you. Now that you’re gone, I've realized that I need you. Here at the Galactic Leyline, I’ll find something, and I’ll lose something. Wait for me.

=== ''Maze of Despair (Zetsubō e no Meikyū)'' [1.25] ===

:'''Gene Starwind''': Suzuka, why did you come with us on this mission?
:'''Suzuka''': Why is it that men always want to know the why of everything? It's not as if knowing why will let you do anything about it. Before you ask me, you should sort out your own feelings, don't you agree Gene?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Jukai''': Very wise Aisha, you sensed my power and let the child escape before I humiliated you. How kind of you. Hah hah hah!
:'''Aisha Clan-Clan''': Stop trying to second guess me. You're gonna pay for that. I am your worst nightmare. ''[to herself]'' How in the world did I end up here? I thought I was supposed to be on a treasure hunt. Well, never mind. Always attack the problem that life places in front of your face!
:'''Jukai''': Precisely!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hitoriga''': You're an extraordinary woman, Suzuka. I really do love you, in spite of what you might think. That's why I took this face. And you went to all this trouble to see me. With a mountain of treasure right in front of you, you turned it down and chose me.
:'''Suzuka''': My individuality is what's important to me. Everything in my world is an extension of that standard. But you wouldn't understand that, would you?

:'''Harry''': Whats going on? Huh? Melfina! Hold on. You don't have to worry anymore, I'll save you. I came here for you Melfina.
:'''Melfina''': Oh no, I'm so sorry Harry but I can't be what you want me to be.
:'''Harry''': But thats not true. You don't have to do anything. Just having you near is enough for me. Don't you understand? I love you.
:'''Hazanko''': So there you are. At last we meet, my prize Melfina. Come, open the gate.
:'''Harry''': You better watch what you're saying mister! I'm the only man in Melfina's life so you better back off.
:'''Hazanko''': Don't be absurd.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Gene Starwind''': Why should I stay behind? Especially when no one worked harder than I to get us here in the first place.
:'''Ron MacDougal''': And if my little brother's gone as a result Professor, you should bear some of the responsibility, don't you think?
:'''Gwen Khan''': What? Now that's utterly preposterous, its not even logical.
:'''Ron MacDougal''': Yeah, well for a man who just lost his only brother its logical enough Professor.
:'''Gene Starwind''': Great. I finally make it to the finish line and that babe doesn't even wait for me. MacDougal, Where's Melfina?
:'''Ron MacDougal''': Well if it isn't Gene Starwind. Now that I think about it, it was you and Hilda that started this ridiculous party.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hot Ice Hilda''': An Outlaw must always be a lone wolf without letting anything holding him down. You can never count on anyone but yourself. But then sometimes you want to feel the warmth of another body, you know?
:'''Hot Ice Hilda''': No one's going to give you a map. You've gotta walk your own path.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Norman Starwind''': Are you going to go up to space with your old man or not?
:'''Gene Starwind''': I've lived my life following my dreams and I don't have any regrets.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Gene''': Great. I finally make it to the finish line and that babe doesn't even wait for me. MacDougal, Where's Melfina?
:'''Ron''': Well if it isn't Gene Starwind. Now that I think about it, it was you and Hilda that started this ridiculous party.
:'''Ron''': You keep trying the same thing over and over again. Well I'm tired of playing and now you're going to suffer like Harry did!
:'''Gene''': Well your a little late. For your information that shell I just fired was a number nine.
:'''Ron''': A number nine? Do they actually exist? But it looks like it didn't do any kind of damage at all. Huh?

===Return to Space [1.26]===

:'''Melfina''': Gene, is there something you desire? Say it. By using the Leyline, I can grant anything your heart desires and make it real. 
:'''Gene''': (silence)
:'''Melfina''': Gene?
:'''Gene''': There isn't anything the Leyline can give me. All I really want is for you to return with me.
:'''Melfina''': Gene.
:'''Gene''': Oh no, I made you cry again. Melfina, what is it that you wish for?
:'''Melfina''': I want to stay who I am. I want to be with you forever Gene.
:'''Gene''': Well thats what I want too.
(They both kiss each other)

:'''Hazanko''': I finally have it. Power. Power!
:'''Jim''': Whats happening now?
:'''Aisha''': What just happened? Hey?
:'''Gilliam''': Oh my... What in the world.
:'''Melfina''': Systems all green. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you. Gene, I'm right here.
:'''Jim''': What happened Gene?
:'''Gene''': Don't worry I'll fill you in on all the magic soon enough Jim. Outlaw Star, get ready to launch.
:'''Jim''': Its a miracle isn't it.
:'''Gene''': Yeah, must be. I met God.
:'''Melfina''': Gene... we're currently linked directly to the Galactic Leyline. Nows the time to free your mind and fight with all you got. You should be much stronger than usual.
:'''Gene''': Thats a roger. Lets do it!
:'''Hazanko''': You'll pay. I'll make you pay Gene Starwind!
:'''Gene''': MOron!
:'''Hazanko''': Blast you.
:'''Gene''': Heh heh. Ah!
:'''Hazanko''': I don't know why I'm wasting time like this when I can absorb you right into myself.
:'''Melfina''': Gene, remember we're not alone anymore. Together, work together. Wake up Gene!
:'''Jim''': Gene!
:'''Suzuka''': Gene!
:'''Aisha''': Gene!
:'''Gene''': Okay!
:'''Hazanko''': What the... huh?
:'''Gene''': RRRRAAAAHHHH!
:'''Hazanko''': No! Die! No!
:'''Gene''': RRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
:'''Hazanko''': GLOOuu! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
:'''Cyber Melfina''': Melfina... Melfina... Melfina... I'm glad that we could meet Melfina.
:'''Melfina''': Who are you?
:'''Cyber Melfina''': The Galactic Leyline is going to be moved to a new location. I'm going with it so I came to say goodbye to you.
:'''Melfina''': You're me, aren't you?
:'''Cyber Melfina''': Right. I'm the you thats the maiden of the Leyline. You don't need me anymore right? After all, you know how to take care of yourself now and you know how you can give your heart wings. Isn't that right Melfina?
:'''Melfina''': Yes. Yes, thank you.
:'''Cyber Melfina''': Goodbye.
:'''Melfina''': Farewell.

:'''Narrator''': Gene Starwind, native of planet Earth, outlaw age 20. His partner is Jim Hawking, age 11, computer engineer. Additionally, it has been confirmed that his navigator is Melfina. Rumor has it that he is accompanied by an assassin who goes by the name Suzuka; and a Ctarl Ctarl named Aisha, but until we have more information this remains unconfirmed. His ship is called the Outlaw Star. For a new outlaw yet to make a name for himself, his reputation precedes him. However, the nickname he earns for himself will depend on the effect of his future actions.

:'''Post-credits message''':

The adventure never ends –

We’ll set off on a journey

Sometime somewhere

To the stars again.

And the new adventures will begin.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0266171|title=Outlaw Star}}

[[Category:Anime and manga series]]
[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]
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[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Mary Martin</title>
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      <text bytes="5332" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Mary Martin2.jpg|thumb|right|Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes.]]
'''[[w:Mary Martin|Mary Virginia Martin]]''' ([[1 December]] [[1913]] – [[3 November]] [[1990]]) was an American actress and singer, who originated many roles over her career including Nellie Forbush in ''[[South Pacific]]'' and Maria in ''[[The Sound of Music]]'', but became most famous in her role as ''[[Peter Pan]]''.
[[File:Peter Pan statue, Weatherford, TX IMG 6476.JPG|thumb|right|[[Peter Pan]] is perhaps the most important thing, to me, that I have ever done in theater.]]

== Quotes ==
[[File:Mary Martin.jpg|thumb|right|I can't tell you the joy I felt in flying in that show … I loved it so.]]
[[File:Mary Martin7.jpg|thumb|right|[[w:Neverland|Neverland]] is the way I would like real life to be … timeless, free, mischievous, filled with gaiety, tenderness, and magic.]]

* '''Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes.'''
** As quoted in ''Right Time, Right Place, Right Move, Right Now!'' (1992) by Perry W. Buffington, Section I : Life

* '''Even as a baby I quickly learned to crawl out of my crib. … They'd put up barriers but I learned how to go over them.'''
** As quoted in ''Mary Martin : Broadway Legend'' (2008) by Ronald L. Davis. p. 6

* '''''[[Peter Pan]]'' is perhaps the most important thing, to me, that I have ever done in theater.'''
** As quoted in ''Mary Martin : Broadway Legend'' (2008) by Ronald L. Davis. p. 180

* '''I can't tell you the joy I felt in flying in that show … I loved it so.''' The freedom of spirit that was Peter Pan was suddenly there for me. I discovered I was happier in the air than on the ground.
** As quoted in ''Mary Martin : Broadway Legend'' (2008) by Ronald L. Davis. p. 183

* '''[[w:Neverland|Neverland]] is the way I would like real life to be … timeless, free, mischievous, filled with gaiety, tenderness, and magic.'''
** As quoted in ''Mary Martin : Broadway Legend'' (2008) by Ronald L. Davis. p. 183

* ''You'' are ''my'' Peter Pan.
** To [[w:Sandy Duncan|Sandy Duncan]], who had told her &quot;You're the only Peter Pan I'll ever know&quot; in a meeting after a Duncan's performance in the role, as quoted in ''Mary Martin : Broadway Legend'' (2008) by Ronald L. Davis. p. 183

=== ''My Heart Belongs'' (1976) ===
&lt;!-- [[File:Mary Martin5.jpg|thumb|right|Anything was better than playing cards, and I was doing something I wanted to do — creating.]] --&gt;

* Mother was the disciplinarian, but it was Daddy who could turn me into an angel with just one look.
** p. 19

* Sometimes I think that I cheated my own family and my closest friends by giving to audiences so much of the love I might have kept for them. But that’s the way I was made; I truly don't think I could help it
** p. 20

* Never, never, never can I say I had a frustrating childhood. It was all joy. Mother used to say she never had seen such a happy child — that I awakened each morning with a smile. I don’t remember that, but '''I do remember that I never wanted to go to bed, to go to sleep, for fear I’d miss something.'''
** p. 20

* '''It was all role playing.''' I felt [[w:Larry Hagman|Larry]] was my little brother, Ben my big brother. Role playing was something I had known since I was born, but it wasn't a good basis for a marriage.
** On her early married life with her first husband Ben Hagman, p. 39

* I was seventeen years old, a married woman without real responsibilities, miserable about my mixed-up emotions, afraid there was something awfully wrong with me because I didn’t enjoy being a wife. Worst of all, I didn't have enough to do.
** p. 39

* '''Anything was better than playing cards, and I was doing something I wanted to do — creating.'''
** On becoming a dance teacher, and creating her own moves, p.  44

* Things can get very lovey and feasty with a bunch of stimulated hams.
** p. 268

== Quotes about Martin ==
* '''The irrepressible boy who refused to grow up had been the star's favorite character since childhood, and she longed to play the role on stage.'''
** Ronald L. Davis, on Martin's first prospects of playing ''[[Peter Pan]]'', in ''Mary Martin : Broadway Legend'' (2008), p. 180

* Mary was forty years old when she first played Peter Pan, yet she rehearsed fourteen hours a day and seemed fresh and high spirited while everyone else in the company drooped with fatigue. '''She was determined to fly all over the stage in the part.'''
** Ronald L. Davis, on rehearsals for ''Peter Pan'', in ''Mary Martin : Broadway Legend'' (2008), p. 182

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.ibdb.com/person.php?id=51662 Profile at IBDB]
* [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0552756/ Profile at IMDb]
* [http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&amp;GRid=3709 Profile at Find a Grave]
* [http://texashistory.unt.edu/search/?q=martin%2C+mary&amp;t=dc.subject&amp;q2=%22WEAC%22&amp;t2=institution Photos of Mary Martin], hosted by the [http://texashistory.unt.edu/ Portal to Texas History]

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    <title>Elena Ceaușescu</title>
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      <text bytes="1596" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Elena Ceausescu portrait.jpg|thumb|Elena Ceaușescu]]
'''[[w:Elena Ceaușescu|Elena Ceaușescu]]''' ([[January 7]], [[1916]] – [[December 25]], [[1989]]) was the wife of Romania's Communist leader [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]], and Deputy Prime Minister of Romania.

==Sourced==
* We live in a normal apartment, just like every other citizen. We have ensured an apartment for every citizen through corresponding laws.
**[http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Transcript_of_the_closed_trial_of_Nicolae_and_Elena_Ceau%C5%9Fescu Statements at trial] (25 December 1989)

* We will not sign any statement. We will speak only at the National Assembly, because we have worked hard for the people all our lives. We have sacrificed all our lives to the people. And we will not betray our people here.
**[http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Transcript_of_the_closed_trial_of_Nicolae_and_Elena_Ceau%C5%9Fescu Statements at trial] (25 December 1989)

* Such impudence! I am a member and the chairwoman of the Academy of Sciences. You cannot talk to me in such a way!
**[http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Transcript_of_the_closed_trial_of_Nicolae_and_Elena_Ceau%C5%9Fescu Statements at trial] (25 December 1989), in response to being asked who wrote her scientific papers

== See also ==
* [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]

== External links ==
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  <page>
    <title>Quality</title>
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      <text bytes="7883" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Quality|Quality]]''' can refer to:
# A specific characteristic of an object (''the qualities of ice'' - i.e. its properties)
# The achievement or excellence of an object (''good quality ice'' - i.e. not of inferior grade)
# The essence of an object (''the quality of ice'' - i.e. &quot;iceness&quot;)
# The meaning of excellence itself
The first meaning is technical, the second practical, the third artistic, and the fourth metaphysical.
__NOTOC__
:&lt;small&gt;'''CONTENT'''&lt;/small&gt; : [[#A - F|A - F]] , [[#G - L|G - L]] , [[#M - R|M - R]] , [[#S - Z|S - Z]] , [[#See also|See also]] , [[#External links|External links]]

== Quotes ==
=== A - F ===
* To understand the true quality of people, you must look into their minds, and examine their pursuits and aversions.
** [[Marcus Aurelius]], ''Meditations'', book 4, section 38 (trans. by Jeremy Collier).

* Things that have a common quality ever quickly seek their kind.
** [[Marcus Aurelius]], ''Meditations'', ix. 9.

* The quality of a man's mind can generally be judged by the size of his wastepaper basket.
** [[José Bergamín]], ''La cabeza a pájaros (Head in the Clouds)'', p. 98, Madrid, Cruz y Raya (1934).

* So cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to shortchange the Muse. It cannot be done. You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.
** [[William S. Burroughs]], ''The Western Lands'', ch. 2 (1987).

* The measure of your quality as a public person, as a citizen, is the gap between what you do and what you say.
** [[Ramsey Clark]], ''International Herald Tribune'' (Paris, June 18, 1991).

* Uncontrolled variation is the enemy of quality.
** Attributed to [[Edward Deming]] (1980) in: Chang W. Kang, Paul H. Kvam (2012) ''Basic Statistical Tools for Improving Quality''. p. 19.

* A demd, damp, moist, unpleasant body!
** [[Charles Dickens]], ''Nicholas Nickelby'', Chapter XXXIV.

* It is the quality of the moment, not the number of days, or events, or of actors, that imports.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], speech, January 1842, at the Masonic Temple in Boston, repr. in ''The Dial'' (1843) and ''Nature, Addresses, and Lectures'' (1849).

* Quality means meeting customers' (agreed) requirements, formal and informal, at lowest [[cost]], first time every time.
** [[Robert L. Flood]] (1993) ''Beyond TQM''. p. 42.

* It's the quality of the ordinary, the straight, the square, that accounts for the great stability and success of our nation. It's a quality to be proud of. But it's a quality that many people seem to have neglected.
** [[Gerald Ford]], ''[[w:Time Magazine|Time]]'' (January 28, 1974).

* Quality means no mistakes. That's a very interesting point. ... perfectionism ...
** Alexander Fridman, {{cite journal|title=Alexander Fridman: My Dad, the Plasma Physicist {{!}} Lex Fridman Podcast #100|journal=Lex Fridman, YouTube|date=June 3, 2020|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JipQNWuYnA}} (quote at 36:36 of 3:38:33)

=== G - L ===
* One cannot develop taste from what is of average quality but only from the very best.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], ''Conversations with Eckermann'' (February 26, 1824).

* “[[Aristocracy]],” taken in its etymological sense, means precisely the [[power]] of the elect. The elect, by the very definition of the word, can only be the few, and their power, or rather their [[authority]], being due to their intellectual superiority, has nothing in common with the numerical strength on which [[democracy]] is based, a strength whose inherent tendency is to sacrifice the minority to the majority, and therefore quality to quantity and the elect to the [[masses]].
** [[René Guénon]], ''The Crisis of the Modern World'' (1927), pp. 97–98

* One shining quality lends a lustre to another, or hides some glaring defect.
** [[William Hazlitt]], ''Complete Works'', vol. 9, ed. P.P. Howe (1932). ''Characteristics'', no. 162 (first published anonymously in 1823).

* Social improvement is attained more readily by a concern with the quality of results than with the purity of motives.
** [[Eric Hoffer]], ''Reflections on the Human Condition'', aph. 25 (1973).

* The quality of moral behaviour varies in inverse ratio to the number of human beings involved.
** [[Aldous Huxley]], ''Grey Eminence'', ch. 10 (1941).

* Hard as a piece of the nether millstone.
** Job. XLI. 24. reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 653.

* It is the quality of reason to be invariable and constant; and of equity, to give to one man what, in the same case, is given to another.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], as quoted by [[James Boswell]] in {{cite book|title=Life of Johnson (Unabridged)|page=496|publisher=Oxford University Press|year=1998|series=Oxford's World Classics|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=x7YtLD4uLogC&amp;pg=PA496}} (classic biography first published in 1791)

=== M - R ===

* Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted?
** Matthew. V. 13. reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 653.

* '''Our culture, obsessed with numbers, has given us the idea that what we can measure is more important than what we can't measure.''' Think about that for a minute. It means that we make quantity more important than quality.
** [[Donella Meadows]], ''[[Donella Meadows#Thinking in Systems: A Primer (2008)|Thinking in Systems: A Primer]]'', Chelsea Green Publishing, 2008, pages 175-176 (ISBN 9781603580557).

* People of quality know everything without ever having learned anything.
** [[Molière]], ''Les Précieuses Ridicules'', sc. 9 (1659).

* Much of what passes for quality on British television is no more than a reflection of the narrow elite which controls it and has always thought that its tastes were synonymous with quality.
** [[Rupert Murdoch]], Address, 1989, to the Edinburgh Television Festival. quoted in ''Guardian'' (London, Jan. 1, 1990).

* Admiration for a quality or an art can be so strong that it deters us from striving to possess it.
** [[Friedrich Nietzsche]], ''Mixed Opinions and Maxims'', aphorism 370, &quot;The Danger in Admiration,&quot; (1879).

* A quality is something capable of being completely embodied. A law never can be embodied in its character as a law except by determining a habit. A quality is how something may or might have been. A law is how an endless future must continue to be.
** [[Charles Peirce]], ''Collected Papers (lecture 3 of Lowell Lectures of 1903)'', vol. 1, para. 536, Harvard University Press (1934).

* Fine by defect, and delicately weak.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Moral Essays'' (1731-35), Epistle II, line 43.

* That air and harmony of shape express,&lt;br&gt;Fine by degrees, and beautifully less.
** [[Matthew Prior]], ''Henry and Emma'', line 432. reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 653.

* Give them quality. That's the best kind of advertising in the world.
** [[Milton Hershey]]. Interview with Abe Heilman, 1953. Paul Wallace Research Collection, Accession 97004, Box 2, Folder 24; Hershey Community Archives, Hershey, PA, USA.

=== S - Z ===
* Come, give us a taste of your quality.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Hamlet]]'' (1600-02), Act II, scene 2, line 451.

* Innocence in genius, and candor in power, are both noble qualities.
** [[Anne Louise Germaine de Staël]], ''Germany'', Part II, Chapter VIII.

* To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour.
** [[Henry David Thoreau]], ''The Writings of Henry David Thoreau'', vol. 2, p. 100, Houghton Mifflin (1906).

* Nothing endures but personal qualities.
** [[Walt Whitman]], ''Leaves of Grass'', ''Song of the Broad-Axe'', Stanza 4.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|quality}}

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    <title>South Park/Season 14</title>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[South Park/Season 1|1]] [[South Park/Season 2|2]] [[South Park/Season 3|3]] [[South Park/Season 4|4]] [[South Park/Season 5|5]] [[South Park/Season 6|6]] [[South Park/Season 7|7]] [[South Park/Season 8|8]] [[South Park/Season 9|9]] [[South Park/Season 10|10]] [[South Park/Season 11|11]] [[South Park/Season 12|12]] [[South Park/Season 13|13]] [[South Park/Season 14|14]] [[South Park/Season 15|15]] [[South Park/Season 16|16]] [[South Park/Season 17|17]] [[South Park/Season 18|18]] [[South Park/Season 19|19]] [[South Park/Season 20|20]] [[South Park/Season 21|21]] [[South Park/Season 22|22]] [[South Park/Season 23|23]] [[South Park/Season 24|24]] [[South Park/Season 25|25]] | [[South Park|Main]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997-present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

=== ''[[w:Sexual Healing (South Park)|Sexual Healing]]'' [14.1] ===

:Recurring line: We have a turd in the punch bowl. I repeat, we have a turd in the punch bowl.

:[[w:Elin Nordegren|'''Elin Nordegren''']]: ''[recurring line]'' You motherfucker! I never should've married you!

=== ''[[w:The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs|The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs]]'' [14.2] ===
:''[Mr. Garrison enters the Fourth Grade classroom with a box of books]''
:'''Mr. Garrison:''' Okay, kids, lets take our seats. There has been a change in school policy, and so I'm assigning you all a book to read.
:'''Cartman:'''  Aw, a book? God, I hate those.
:'''Mr. Garrison:''' Now kids, this book is very controversial, and has just been taken off the banned books list.
:'''Cartman:'''  Oh, really? Sweet.
:'''Mr. Garrison:'''  It's called &quot;Catcher in the Rye&quot;, and it has some very risque parts...
:'''Stan''': ''[excited]'' All right!
:''[Mr. Garrison starts handing copies out to the students]''
:'''Mr. Garrison:'''  And strong vulgar language...
:'''Kenny:'''  ''[muffled]'' Awesome, dude!
:'''Mr. Garrison:'''  And in fact many schools across the country still ban this book, because it's thought to be so inappropriate.
:'''Cartman:''' ''[starts reading excitedly]'' Oh, man, I can't wait!
:'''Mr. Garrison:'''  Tonight I want you to read chapters 1 through 5, and tomorrow we'll discuss the...
:'''Cartman:'''  No, no, come on let's read it now!
:'''Kyle''':  Mr. Garrison? Didn't the guy who shot [[John Lennon]] say it was because of this book?
:'''Mr. Garrison:''' ''[irritated]'' Yes, apparently John Lennon's killer said he was inspired by &quot;Catcher in the Rye&quot;, but he was just a kook.
:'''Cartman''': Whoa! You're telling us [[Catcher in the Rye|this book]] is filthy, inappropriate AND made [[Mark David Chapman|a guy]] shoot the [[John Lennon|King of Hippies]]? Can we PLEASE read this, RIGHT NOW?
:'''Mr. Garrison:'''  ''[angry]'' All right. You will read it at home, and you will all be mature about it's adult themes and language!
:''[The class groan in unison]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[runs in, panicking]'' Guys, guys! We are totally fucked! The book is gone from my dresser drawer; my parents must have found it!
:'''Cartman''': So why are we all fucked? They'll think you wrote it all!
:'''Stan''': ''[angrily]'' Hey, I'm not taking the heat for this alone! We all wrote it; if I'm going down, someone has to go down with me!
:'''Kyle''': Well, if I'm going down, Cartman's going down!
:'''Cartman''': And if I'm going down, both Kyle and Kenny are definitely going down!
:'''Stan''': Well dude, [[w:Butters Stotch|SOMEBODY]] has got to go down.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Butters is confronted by the boys in the school hallways]''
:'''Cartman''': Butters, what the fuck do you think you're doing?
:'''Butters''': Just enjoying myself. Why, Eric?
:'''Kyle''': Butters, you know goddamn well you didn't write that book!
:'''Butters''': ''[a little angrily]'' But, you told me I did.
:'''Stan''': Yeah, but that's when we thought we were going to get in trouble, asshole!
:''[Red and Lola appear and defend Butters]''
:'''Red''': Hey, hey, you leave Butters alone! He's a very fragile artist.
:'''Lola''': ''[fondly]'' He's so brooding and full of angst.
:'''Butters''': ''[smugly]'' Yeah, I'm brooding.
:'''Cartman''': Butters doesn't deserve any credit for ''Scrotie McBoogerballs!'' We deserve all the credit.
:'''Red''': Oh, God, you guys are pathetic!
:'''Lola''': Yeah, get a life and stop mooching off Butters's success for once!
:''[the girls leave]''
:'''Stan''': ''[frustrated]'' God damn it!
:'''Kyle''': Butters, do you really think it's fair to lie like this?! Let me tell you, if you don't have--!
:'''Butters''': ''[snaps]'' No! Let me tell you something, fellas!! You ALWAYS take advantage of me. And after reading ''Catcher in the Rye'', I've learned you're nothing but phonies! ''[the boys look shocked at this sudden explosion]'' I'm not letting you trick me this time. So the four of you can just suck on my wiener. ''[Leaves]''
:'''Cartman''': ''[After a pause; in a shocked voice]'' What an inconsiderate jerk... 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Reporter''': ''[commenting on The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs]'' The book is full of disgusting words and acts, including [[Sarah Jessica Parker]], who is mentioned 465 times. [[Matthew Broderick]], are you upset your wife is made fun of so much in the book?
:'''[[Matthew Broderick]]''': Well, obviously. I just think it's wrong to make fun of anybody's physical appearance. My wife is a beautiful woman, and I know that most people agree with me.
:'''Reporter''': Uh-huh. And Matthew? How come a transvestite donkey witch is standing next to you, and why is it wearing a dress? ''[Parker simply blinks at the camera, but Broderick gets a stunned look on his face]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''News Reporter''': ''[After Butters' book influences a lunatic to murder the Kardashians]'' Our nation is still reeling from the tragic deaths of the Kardashians. The shooter claims he was driven to commit the slaughter immediately after reading ''&quot;The Poop that took a Pee&quot;'' by Leopold &quot;Butters&quot; Stotch. It's all over; the Kardashians wiped out in the blink of an eye, all because one little PRICK had to go and write a book! ''[Butters is at his desk with his face buried in his arms, The news report is airing on the TV in the background]'' Leopold Stotch,... I hope they BURY you!! YOU EVIL FUCK!!
:''[Stan and his friends enter Butters' room]''
:'''Cartman''': Dude, people are pissed off at you, Butters.
:'''Butters''': I know.
:'''Stan''': They're saying they're gonna ban both your books now, completely. You're not making any more money!
:'''Butters''': ''[lifts his head up, crying]'' You think I care about that? My writing got the most beautiful woman in the world killed! I loved her! And if she died it was because of me!
:'''Kyle''': Ah... Oh Butters, ''[steps forward]'' it'll be all right. Listen, we've all learned that people look for meaning in books. And sometimes, even if it isn't there, they'll try and invent their own meaning.
:'''Stan''': Yeah, dude, eh, that's why we all need to avoid books and stick to television.
:'''Butters''': Thang, thanks, fellas. I'll definitely never write again. I think I can get over this.
:'''Cartman''': That's good, Butters, because, we need to tell you something.
:'''Butters''': What?
:'''Cartman''': ''[sighs heavily]'' You were sleepwalking again, and dressed [[Sarah Jessica Parker]] up in a moose suit. You left her in the forest and she got shot by a hunter.
:'''Butters''': ''[shocked]'' What?! Oh no!
:'''Cartman''': Yep, sorry. You're gonna have to come down and admit it was you. ''[walks out of the room with the other boys]''
:'''Butters''': Aw. Aw I got her killed too?? Aw uh, oh well, at least she was ugly. ''[leaves his desk and follows the other boys downstairs]''

=== ''[[w:Medicinal Fried Chicken|Medicinal Fried Chicken]]'' [14.3] ===
:''[Randy is smoking weed in front of Officer Barbrady, with his enlarged testicles in a wheelbarrow]''
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': Oh, that is nice. That is NICE.
:'''Jimbo''': ''[running up]'' Randy! Jesus, Randy! Your balls!
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': I know. Smoking pot right in front of a cop. Pretty sweet, huh?
:'''Jimbo''': No! I mean your actual BALLS!

:'''Billy''': Do you want to do it?
:'''Cartman''': Do I want to do it? Does the pope help pedophiles get away with their crimes?
:'''Billy''': Excellent.

:'''Cartman''': Is that something I'd want to do? Is the Pope Catholic, and making the world safe for pedophiles?

:'''Cartman''': I told your mom you got an F on that social studies test.
:'''Billy''': You wouldn't do that.
:'''Cartman''': Does a bear crap in the woods? And does the pope crap on the broken lives and dreams of 200 deaf boys?

=== ''[[w:You Have 0 Friends|You Have 0 Friends]]'' [14.4] ===
:''[Kyle is trying to find new Facebook friends on Chat Roulette. So far, all he's found are men masturbating on web cam]''
:'''Kyle''': Screw this, I don't wanna see anymore!
:'''Cartman''': Kyle, this is the way the world works! You wanna find some quality friends, you have to wade through all the dicks first!

=== ''[[w:200 (South Park)|200]]'' [14.5] ===
:'''Stan''': Hey, guys! Check it out! [[Tom Cruise]] is a fudge packer!
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': What did you call me?
:'''Eric Cartman''': Hey, that is [[Tom Cruise]]! ''[snaps a picture of him]''
:'''Butters''': How come you're packing fudge, Mr. Cruise?
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': I'm glad you asked, I'm not a fudge packer!
:'''Stan''': Dude, you don't have to be ashamed or anything.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': But, I'm not a fudge packer! ''[packs a block of fudge into a box]''
:'''Stan''': Then why are you packing fudge?
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': I'm not! I'm glad you asked, I'm a very busy actor! I'm just here trying to get away for a week and do some fly fishing! ''[pushes more fudge into boxes]''
:'''Stan''': Dude, you are in a fudge factory packing fudge.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Oh, that does it! I will ''[slams his fist on the belt]'' SUE you!
:'''Stan''': For what?!
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': You can't just call somebody a fudge packer and get away with it!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': ''[walks up with the students; notices Tom]'' Hey, is that fudge packer, [[Tom Cruise]]?
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': ''[takes off and throws his hat on the ground]'' Mr. Garrison, THAT'S IT! I'm suing this entire intolerant town! ''[starts leaving the factory]''
:'''Stan''': But, dude...
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': No buts! You wanna accuse somebody of being a fudge packer, you're gonna pay the consequences!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Tom Cruise's mountain lodge]''
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Guys, I wanna really thank you all for coming. Shockingly, I've just been slandered once again in the town of South Park, something I know you all can relate to.
:''[The 200 other celebrities begin to chatter, generally agreeing with him]''
:'''[[Tiger Woods]]''': That town just seems to be a hotbed of hatred and lies!
:'''[[Bono]]''': I'm fed up with it! That town suggested I was made of sh*t!
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Yeah well I was just over there doing some fly-fishing, and this little boy walks up and calls me a fudge packer!
:'''Celebrities''': That is wrong! Hohhot, that is crazy!
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': I know, right? And then other kids in the town and their teacher started joining in.
:'''[[Sally Struthers]]''': ''[eating chocolate cake]'' South Park, Colorado, is the most insensitive racist and bigoted place in this country!
:'''[[George Lucas]]''': That town thinks they can say whatever they want about people and get away with it!
:'''[[Paris Hilton]]''': If anybody has a gripe against that sh*thole, it's me! ''[spits something into a tissue, then rubs that tissue into John Travolta's crotch]''
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Yeah, well I say enough. All of us together can put a stop to the slander coming from that town once and for all! No longer will they make snide remarks about whoever they want.
:'''Celebrities''': Yeah!!
:'''Jared''': Hey, Tom, I ate too much Subway. Where is your bathroom?
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Oh just the door down the hall there, Jared. ''[Jared goes to the first door and opens it]'' No, no, that's a that's a closet. Go down more. ''[Jared moves on to the next door and opens that one]'' No, that's a closet too. ''[Jared moves on to the next door across the hall and opens that one]'' No, Jared, that one's a closet. ''[Jared moves on to the next door and opens that one]'' No. That's a cl- ''[Jared moves on to the next door and opens that one]'' closet. ''[Jared moves on to the next door and opens that one]'' No that's a that's a closet.
:''[Jared runs out of door to open and looks at Tom]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Stan enters Principal Victoria's office and see Mr. Mackey, his and Kyle's parents, Sgt. Yates, Officer Barbrady, and the Mayor with her aides, all very unhappy with him]''
:'''Randy''': You just had to push it, didn’t you Stan? You just had to make fun of Tom Cruise again.
:'''Principal Victoria''': Did you call him a fudge packer?
:'''Stan''': Awgh, he was packing fudge!
:'''Mayor McDaniels''': Little boy, you don’t understand how serious this is. Tom Cruise has put together a class-action lawsuit along with 200 other celebrities!
:'''Mr. Mackey''': They’re going to sue the bajeezus out of this entire town mkay?
:'''Stan''': It wasn’t just me. Other kids called him a fudge packer. Even Mr. Garrison.
:'''Principal Victoria''': But ''you'' started it. Mr. Broflovski, tell him what you told us.
:'''Gerald''': Stan, a class-action lawsuit means the end of this town. We can't possibly go up against their lawyers.
:'''Sgt. Yates''': Dammit, Marsh, why couldn't you've just kept your stupid ugly kid in line?
:'''Randy''': Hey, don't start blaming me for his looks!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The fudge factory, Stan and Randy talk with Tom Cruise]''
:'''Randy''': Mr. Cruise, my son is so, so sorry. And he would do anything to take back his hurtful comment.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': That's nice. I'm still suing you all! Nobody calls me a fudge packer!
:'''Randy''': Yes, it was a terrible mistake. But, maybe you could see how -- since you do, take fudge and, pack it into a box...
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': What?
:'''Randy''': I'm just saying, you are employed currently, as a person who, packages...
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': I'm an actor. I do not pack fudge!
:'''Randy''': Right, my son just got confused. Because you have a little uniform, and a hat that says &quot;Fred's Fudge &amp; Candies.&quot; And you are... look it doesn't matter just... please withdraw the class-action lawsuit. Nobody in our town will ever call you a fudge packer again.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': ''[takes a short break and sighs]'' There is... one thing that your town could do to... maybe make me forget about this lawsuit.
:'''Randy''': Anything! Anything you want, Mr. Cruise.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': It's just that there's somebody I've always wanted to meet. Face to face. If you could get him to show up in your town...
:'''Randy''': Sure, who is it? We can get anybody for you.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Muhammad. The prophet of the Muslim faith.
:'''Stan''': Ooooo...
:'''Randy''': That's tricky.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Well then you can just get sued!
:'''Randy''': Mr. Cruise, if there's anybody else we could try to bring to town, we could-
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': NO! Just him! You get Muhammad to appear in South Park, or your little town is done!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[South Park Community Center, evening. Randy is on stage with Mr. Mackey, Principal Victoria, The Mayor and her aides. Much of the town is in the audience]''
:'''Randy''': Okay, people, I kno- I know. But, he will get the other celebrities to withdraw their lawsuit if we jsut... get Muhammad to appear in South Park.
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Are you nuts?! If Muhammad appears in South Park, we get bombed!
:'''Stephen Stotch''': We don't know that! Maybe enough time has passed.
:'''Kyle''': [to Token] Dude, I can't believe we are dealing with this Muhammad thing again.
:'''Mr. Mackey''': But even if it were safe now for Muhammad to come, huh, how would we ever find him?
:'''Sgt. Yates''': Yeah, showing an image of him is completely off-limits and censored. So nobody has ever seen what Muhammad looks like
:'''Stan''': I saw him once. 
:''[everybody turns to look at Stan]''
:'''Mayor McDaniels''': You did?
:'''Stan''': Yeah. A while ago my friends joined David Blaine's cult. I had to go to the Super Best Friends to rescue them. Muhammad was one of the Super Best Friends.
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Oh, and what? And he was just out in the open where everyone could see him and nobody got bombed?!
:'''Stan''': No, dude, it was totally flying.
:'''Sgt. Yates''': Muhammad showed up and there was no violence at all.
:'''Stan''': Well this giant John Wilkes Booth shot Abraham Lincoln.
:'''Randy''': Alright Stan, that's enough. Jesus, can't learn to shut up, can you? ''[to the audience]'' Now look, I believe we CAN find Muhammad. I've done a lot of research and I've completed a sketch of what Muhammad could look like today.
:'''Mr. Garrison''': ''[stands up]'' No, don't!
:''[Randy pulls out a sheet of paper from a manila envelope and turns it around: it's a stick figure with a round head]''
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Is that okay to show? ''[sits down]''
:'''Jimbo''': I don't know. I guess we'll see.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Tom Cruise's mountain lodge]''
:'''[[Hillary Clinton]]''': Tom, what is up with this Muhammad thing? It doesn't make sense.
:'''[[Jesse Jackson]]''': Yeah, you said we were just suing South Park.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': No, I said we're going to ''use'' South Park to make sure we never got ripped on again! Look, people, all of us... get ridiculed, but who is the one person on this earth that is completely free from slander?
:'''[[Oprah Winfrey|Oprah]]''': You want Muhammad because he can't be ridiculed?
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Muhammad has a power that makes him impervious to being made fun of. What if we... could harness that power. ''[walks up to Jimmy Buffett]'' [[Jimmy Buffett]], how would you like it if nobody could call your music drunken fratboy monkey garbage?
:'''[[Jimmy Buffett]]''': I'd, I'd love it.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': By taking what Muhammad had, we would all be safe from ridicule. Like Tim Burton here. Imagine it, Tim -- nobody could rip on you for all the rehashed movies you've made lately. There'd never be a TV show that pointed out you haven't had an original thought since &quot;Beetlejuice.&quot; And you put Johnny Depp and the same crappy music in every film. And if you're that in love with Johnny Depp you should just have sex with him already. A TV show could never say that!
:'''[[Tim Burton]]''': Gee, that'd be swell.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Well it can be a reality. Once we have Muhammad, we can take his power from him!
:'''Cartman''': Excuse me, ''[everyone turns to look at him]'' This is the home of Tom Cruise, right?
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Hey, it's one of the kids from South Park that slandered me!
:'''Cartman''': I didn't come for myself. I'm just an escort for another celebrity who wants to get in on your lawsuit.
:'''[[Michael Richards]]''': Who?
:'''[[Jennifer Lopez]]''': ''[pulls off her little cap]'' Allo! ''[the other celebrities smile at her]''
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': [[Jennifer Lopez]]!
:''[the others crowd in]''
:'''[[Jennifer Lopez]]''': Yes, I am [[Jennifer Lopez]]! And I like tacos, and burritos.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': ''[takes his guests to a lab, which has a machine, a duplicator of sorts]'' Here it is, friends. Once we have Muhammad, this machine will give us his power to not be made fun of.
:'''[[Russell Crowe]]''': Tom, Tom, you're talking crazy, mate. Only Muhammad has that ability. How could we ever get it from him?
:'''Rob Reiner''': We take his goo. ''[eating a burger]'' It's as simple as that, people.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Rob Reiner has been telling me about the goo which is inside every person on Earth.
:'''Rob Reiner''': Any goo can be harvested from a person's body, and easily placed into another.
:'''Cartman''': Wait, you mean, we aren't gonna sue and get a bunch of money?
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': No, Jen. We've all got enough money.
:'''[[Jennifer Lopez]]''': Yes, who needs more money? We need to get Muhammad's goo! Yes, yes! Arriba arriba!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sgt. Yates''': Mayor, we do not have the resources to deal with this situation. A full evacuation is impossible!
:'''Mayor McDaniels''': Jesus Christ, what are we supposed to do?!
:'''Jimbo''': We have to give in to their demands!
:'''Mayor McDaniels''': I'm sorry, Muhammad, but we're going to have to give you over to the gingers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': You're gonna give Muhammad to gingers instead of us, just because they are threatening you with violence?!
:'''Randy''': Well yeah.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Oh, we could play that game too! You wanna see violence, you got it! ''[throws the phone down, destroying it]'' Goddamned stupid assholes! They wanna play rough?! Okay! Spielberg, go and get some automatic rifles! ''[walks up to a couch on which Oprah is seated and starts jumping up and down on it quite aggressively]'' We'll go in there and we're gonna take Muhammad by force! And we're gonna show 'em that-
:'''Rob Reiner''': Tom, Tom! We can't be seen getting violent!
:'''[[Hillary Clinton]]''': Yeah, that would kill all our careers.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': ''[still jumping on the couch]'' But the only way we're gonna get Muhammad now is by getting just as violent with South Park as the gingers!
:'''Rob Reiner''': Fine, then let's have her do it!
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': ''[stops jumping]'' Her who?
:'''Rob Reiner''': You know. ''[softly]'' Her.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': ''[softly]'' Oh, right. Her.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Robert Redford''': ''[frightened]'' My God, she's even more terrifying than I remember.
:'''[[Steven Spielberg]]''': Tom, [[Barbra Streisand]] hasn't been active for a long time. Are we sure we want to do this?
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Mrs. Streisand was blown apart in the town of South Park. She's probably more angry at that town than any of us.
:'''Rob Reiner''': Power her up! Release the kiken!
:''[Mel Gibson throws the switch. Barbra's forehead and then her eyes light up. She begins to move. She whips her tail against the ground. She's armed with a chainsaw for a right arm]''
:'''Rob Reiner''': Hey Barbra. It's me, Rob Reiner. ''[she breathes hot air on the crowd, and they try to block the air]'' Listen, Babs, we're takin' on the town of South Park and we really need your help.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': We figured you're pissed off at South Park too, right Ms. Streisand? ''[she reacts fiercely, running her saw into the holding structure behind her]'' Oh, she's pissed alright.

=== ''[[w:201 (South Park)|201]]'' [14.6] ===
:'''Scott Tenorman''': Revenge is a dish best served...chili!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Announcer''': Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom, which is Tom Cruise's house.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': (''on the phone'') How do you like that?! Celebrities can get violent too!
:'''Randy''': ''[on the community center roof with other townsfolk]'' Mr. Cruise, please call Barbra Streisand off! ''[everyone cringes as Mecha-Streisand walks around]'' She's destroying everything!
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': We ''will'' call her off when you give us Muhammad!
:'''Randy''': We don't have Muhammad. We we aren't sure where he is.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': That's your problem! Get him back or Barbs will kill you all!
:'''Mickey Mouse''': Oh boy!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sea-Man''': I'll get you, Tom Cruise! ''[hops on him and wrestles him]''
:'''Stan''': Hey look! Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back.
:''[everyone stops and gasps. The &quot;CENSORED&quot; bar disappears and Tom is shown again]''
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': What did you say?!
:'''Kyle''': Oh yeah. Tom Cruise does have Seaman on his back.
:'''Jesus''': I guess maybe Tom Cruise likes Seaman.
:''[everyone chuckles.]''
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': ''[straightens up]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! ''[Sea-Man gets off his back]'' You're not supposed to be able to make fun of me anymore! What the hell's going on?!
:'''Scott Tenorman''': ''[on the rafters with a jet pack on his back]'' I'll be back, Super Best Friends! ''[tales off through an open door on the roof.]''
:'''[[Jesus]]''': Who's the creepy ginger kid?
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': Reiner, you said the goo machine would work! But I got made fun of!
:'''Kyle''': That's because there is no goo, Mr. Cruise. You see, I learned something today. Throughout this whole ordeal, we've all wanted to show things that we weren't allowed to show, but it wasn't because of some magic goo. It was because of the magical power of threatening people with violence. That's obviously the only true power. If there's anything we've all learned, it's that terrorizing people works.
:'''[[Jesus]]''': That's right. Don't you see, gingers, if you don't want to be made fun of anymore, all you need are guns and bombs to get people to stop.
:'''[[Santa]]''': That's right, friends. All you need to do is instill fear and be willing to hurt people and you can get whatever you want. The only true power is violence.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Reconstruction on the town begins]''
:'''Mayor McDaniels''': Alright, people, let's start rebuilding our town! For the 39th time.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Tom Cruise sitting by himself on a trash can feeling sad]''
:'''Stan''': Look, Mr. Cruise, I'm sorry I said you were a fudge packer and that semen on your back.
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': I just... can't do it anymore. I wanna go away! But there's nowhere on Earth that people aren't around to rip on me.
:'''Kyle''': Hey... Hey, we know a place! We know a place where everything is just happiness and joy. And no humans are there to mess it up.
:'''Stan''': We do? Oh Oh yeah, we do!
:'''[[Tom Cruise]]''': You... really? Somewhere where I can just, live out my days in peace and quiet and- Oh. [stands up] Oh please, can you show me where?
:'''Stan''': We'll do better than that. We'll help you get there.

=== ''[[w:Crippled Summer|Crippled Summer]]'' [14.7] ===

:'''Nathan''': ''[being sexually assaulted by a shark]'' No, not the shark again! NO, NOT THE SHARK AGAIN!

=== ''[[w:Poor and Stupid|Poor and Stupid]]'' [14.8] ===
:''[Kenny is watching [[w:Pardon the Interruption|Pardon the Interruption]] ]''
:'''[[w:Tony Kornheiser|Tony Kornheiser]]:''' All right, now we turn from the [[w:NFL|NFL]] to the world of [[w:NASCAR|NASCAR]]. People who weren't sure what to think of NASCAR are more sure today after a NASCAR driver released bigoted, ignorant statements on his podcast.
:'''Cartman:''' ''[In a southern accent]'' All right what's up [[w:NASCAR|NASCAR]] fans? I don't know about y'all, but this President Obama is pissin' me off, so I'm going to do some dipping and speak my mind. Today I'm going to be dipping some Vagisil regular strength anti-itch cream. ''[Drinks some Vagisil]'' So I'm pissed off what I found out. I found out this Obama wants to put a bigger tax on gasoline! What the fuck is up with that? That's fuckin' gay! ''[Kenny, watching, buries his head intro his arms]'' It's gay as hell. Y'all know my pit boss, Butters.
:'''Butters:''' Obama's fuckin' gay.
:'''Cartman:''' He's fuckin' gay as hell.
:'''Butters:''' Pisses me off.
:'''Cartman:''' So y'all be sure to catch us in our next race. We're about as poor and stupid as they fuckin' come so come down and cheer for us at [[w:NASCAR|NASCAR]] on Saturday. Obama's gay as hell!
:'''[[w:Tony Kornheiser|Tony Kornheiser]]:''' Well if you ask me, that's all the proof we need that [[w:NASCAR|NASCAR]] is for the poor and the stupid.
:'''Kenny:''' Fuck you!

=== ''[[w:It's a Jersey Thing|It's a Jersey Thing]]'' [14.09] ===

:'''Snooki''': ''[Recurring line]'' Snooki want smush-smush!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:[''at the South Park Hair Salon'']
:'''Theresa''': Don't you fuckin' tell me what to do! I'm a client here!
:'''Caroline''': Theresa! Calm. Down.
:'''Julia''': I don't have to take your shit! I'm from Jersey!
:'''Caroline''': Get her, Sharon!!
:'''Sharon''': What?
:'''Jacqueline''': Sharon, just stay out of it!
:'''Caroline''': Be, the bigger person, Sharon!
:'''Sharon''': You people are crazy.
:'''Caroline''': Who's crazy? Are you talking about my family?! (''grabs Sharon by the hair and pulls her a few steps; Sharon begins to scream'') Is my family crazy?!
:'''Theresa''': Don't you pull my friend's hair, you bitch! (''pulls Sharon back by the hair'')
:'''Sheila''': ''[barges in]'' Let go of her you piece of trash!
:'''Theresa''': Who the fuck are you, to tell me, what to do?!
:'''Sheila''': All you trashy whores get the fuck out of here and leave her alone!
:'''Theresa''': Psycho bitch!
:'''Sheila''': (''slaps Theresa's hand away'') No! You're a psycho bitch, psycho bitch! Psycho bitch!! You wanna see fuckin' crazy?! You'd better just step the fuck away or you're gonna see fuckin' crazy!
:'''Jacqueline''': ''[to Sheila]'' You're, cabbage!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sheila''': I know this has to be very upsetting for you, Kyle.
:'''Kyle''': ''[enunciating]'' What am I, Mom?
:'''Sheila''': When I got pregnant with you, Kyle, your father and I were living with my parents in Newark. We knew we had to get out. Neither of us wanted our child to be from Jersey, so we moved. As far away as we could. But now I realize you can take the fetus out of Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the fetus.
:'''Kyle''': ''[getting scared]'' What are you saying?!
:'''Sheila''': I'm saying that for the first two months I carried you in my stomach, I lived in Newark. Technically, you are from Jersey.
:'''Kyle''': ''[looks at his new look]'' '''NO!''' I don't wanna look like this!
:'''Sheila''': It isn't so bad, Kyle. A lot of people think the Jersey look is nice.
:''[walks by and looks]''
:'''Ike''': '''''&lt;big&gt;AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!&lt;/big&gt;''''' ''[faints on his back]''
:'''Kyle''': I can hide it! ''[hops off the bed]'' Nobody ever ''has'' to know! ''[puts his hat back on and walks out the bedroom door]'' I can't ever let anybody know!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Cartman''': What the hell are you guys doing?!
:'''Stan''': Tryin' to help. My dad says to distribute all these guns.
:'''Cartman''': ''[points to Kyle]'' And we're just gonna let him stand around here?! He's one of them. He could easily be a spy!
:'''Kyle''': I told you, Cartman, I'm ''not'' one of them! I don't wanna live in West Jersey any more than '''you''' do!
:'''Cartman''': Overcompensating a little, aren't we, Kyle?!
:'''Kyle''': That's enough!
:'''Cartman''': Your blood is tainted with the three J's! Jewish, Jersey and Ginger! ''Admit it!''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:(''Randy interrogates the Situation guy strapped to a chair'')
:'''Randy''': Alright Mr. Situation, we'll try this again! Why are you people doing this?!
:'''The Situation''': Well I told you, it's uh just a Jersey thing.
:(''Randy punches him hard on the left cheek'')
:'''Randy''': What does that mean?!
:'''The Situation''': You just don't understand. It's uh it's just, just a Jersey thing.
:(''Randy punches him again, kicks him with the left foot, punches him with the left hand, kicks him on the side of his head with the right foot'')
:'''Randy''': Stop playing stupid!
:'''Jimbo''': Maybe he really is stupid, Randy.
:'''Randy''': ''[to Jimbo]'' Nobody's this stupid! ''[to the Situation guy again]'' What are you people planning?!
:'''The Situation''': It's just a Jersey thing, you know? Ya, you just gotta be from Jersey to get it.

=== ''[[w:Insheeption|Insheeption]]'' [14.10] ===

:''[Specialists are sorting out Stan's hoarding problem. Everyone is assembled at Stan's locker]''
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': Hello, everyone, my name is Dr. Chinstrap. I'm a hoarding specialist, and today, we're gonna help Stan clean out his locker. All right, let's go ahead and see inside your locker, Stan. 
:''[Stan opens his locker, which is quite stuffed. There are gasps of shock all around, and Wendy starts crying]''
:'''Stan''': What? Come on, it's not that bad.
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': Now, as part of Stan's therapy, we need to make sure we don't throw away anything he doesn't want us to. Stan needs to feel like HE is in control, or his psychosis will come out.
:'''Stan''': &quot;My psychosis?&quot; Look, it isn't that big of a deal, I'll just throw this stuff away.
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': Okay, great. Now how about we start with this... ''[takes out a pencil box]''
:'''Stan''': Well, no, that's my pencil box. I need my pencil box.
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': Okay, okay, we'll put that right here on the floor. ''[places box down and takes out a broken toothbrush]'' Now, how about this? Broken toothbrush?
:'''Stan''': Well, it's good to have that, because sometimes I really wanna brush after lunch, and I...
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': But it's broken.
:'''Stan''': Yeah, but it works perfectly fine, and it...
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': Okay, okay, broken toothbrush is going right here, by the pencil box. ''[places it down and takes out a maggot-infested sandwich]'' Now, how about this? Old sandwich in a baggie, filled with maggots? ''[there are groans of disgust from all those present]''
:'''Stan''': ''[faltering slightly]'' Well, THAT, I mean, yeah, I mean, I kinda need that, let's just keep that.
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': It's full of maggots, Stan. Can we throw it away?
:'''Stan''': ''[faltering further]'' Well I might need it if I ever have to, you know, like...
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': The maggots are crawling down my hand and biting my wrist, Stan. Can we throw this away?
:'''Stan''': ''[starting to lose his nerve]'' Well, I - I guess so but... ''[as the sandwich is thrown in the baggie]'' W-w-wait, this is all happening a little fast, can we just slow down?
:''[Stan's friends share a look of concern]''
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': ''[Taking an empty aspirin bottle]'' Now how about this empty aspirin bottle?
:'''Stan''': Well no, don't throw that out!
:'''Dr. Chinstrap''': ''[reaching into the locker]'' Can we throw out these watered out papers, then? ''[pulls them out]''
:'''Stan''': ''[really losing his composure]'' No, because there could be something written on them that's important and... ''[gathering some papers up and trying to retrieve the bottle]'' No, don't take my empty bottle... G-GIVE ME BACK MY SANDWICH! ''[stops]''
:''[People are looking at him in shock, and Cartman starts twirling his finger around his head and whistling at Stan to indicate he's insane]''
:'''Mr. Mackey''':	Stan, as your counselor, I'm here to help you with whatever problems you might have, m'kay? Now, what is the matter? [before Stan answers, he looks around the office. Mr. Mackey has a lot of junk in there]
:'''Stan''': Well, my friends are worried that I'm showing signs of... &quot;hoarding.&quot;
:'''Mr. Mackey''': Hoarding? M'kay, what's that?
:'''Stan''': Well, apparently, it's when you... don't throw anything away and soon you find yourself, living with a, bunch of... junk?
:'''Mr. Mackey''': Hmmm, I haven't heard of that, but it- it definitely sounds bad, m'kay?
:'''Stan''': [looks around again] Mr. Mackey, is there, maybe anything you wanna talk about?
:'''Mr. Mackey''': Me? ...Like, like what?
:'''Stan''': [looks around and picks up an empty milk carton from a box] Well like, you've got an old milk carton here from a month ago that's like-
:'''Mr. Mackey''': DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT! THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO THROW AWAY! IF YOU THROW THAT AWAY I WILL RAPE YOU IN THE MOUTH! M'KAY?! I WILL RAPE YOU IN YOUR FUCKIN' MOUTH! M'KAY?!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''[[w:Freddy Krueger|Freddy Krueger]]''': ''[Kills Woodsy Owl from behind]'' There's a REAL hoot for ya, Woodsy!

=== ''[[w:Coon 2: Hindsight|Coon 2: Hindsight]]'' [14.11] ===

:'''DP Executive 6''': The seismic forces will be massive. Do you think the moon can take it? 
:'''[[Tony Hayward]]''': ''[arms crossed]'' Oh, she'll take it.

=== ''[[w:Mysterion Rises|Mysterion Rises]]'' [14.12] ===

:'''Newsreader:''' The boys state that there also used to be a member named the Coon actually in the group, but they let him go because he was being, quote: &quot;a dick&quot;.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Toolshed:''' Mysterion, if Cartman's gone why are we still calling ourselves &quot;Coon and Friends&quot;?
:'''Mysterion:''' Because it pisses Cartman off beyond belief and I find that ''[laughs]'' extremely funny.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[When asking about the cult of Cthulhu meetings]''
:'''Mysterion:''' What happened at those meetings?
:'''Stuart McCormick:''' Trust us, we don't remember. I know it sounds hard to believe but we were actually really drunk the entire time.
:'''Mysterion:''' I don't find that hard to believe at all.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[When Hindsight says he doesn't want his superpower anymore]''
:'''Mysterion:''' There are some superpowers that make yours look like nothing. Trust me, I know.
:'''Hindsight:''' What... what is your power?
:''[pause]''
:'''Mysterion:''' I can't die. ''[pause]'' I've experienced death, countless times. Sometimes I see a bright light, sometimes I see heaven or hell. But eventually, no matter what, I wake up in my bed, wearing my same old clothes. And the worst part, no one even remembers me dying. I go to school the next day and everyone's just like &quot;oh, hey Kenny,&quot; even if they had seen me get decapitated with their own eyes. You wanna whine about curses, Hindsight, you're talking to the wrong fucking cowboy.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Red Goth''': I'm so freaking stoked that Cthulhu is gonna squash all the happy-go-lucky conformists.
:'''Goth Leader''': Yeah. I just hope he puts an end to the fucking Disney Channel.

===[[w:Coon vs. Coon and Friends|Coon vs. Coon and Friends]] [14.13]===

:''[When the boys are talking about their superpowers]''
:'''Toolshed:''' What's your superpower, Mysterion?
:'''Mysterion:''' I can't die!
:'''Toolshed:''' Oh, yeah, good one! Mysterion can't die and Iron Maiden is indestructible--
:'''Mysterion:''' No, Stan, I'm being serious. I really, REALLY can't die!
:'''Stan:''' ''(laughing)'' What?
:'''Mysterion:''' Like last night in the alley! The cult leader stabbed me and I bled all over the place and you screamed &quot;Oh, my God!&quot; and you ''(indicates Human Kite)'' called him a bastard.
:'''Human Kite:''' When was that?
:'''Mysterion:''' All the time! I die all the time! And you assholes NEVER remember!
:'''Stan:''' I think we would remember you dying, dude.
:'''Mysterion:''' Well, you don't! I die over and over! Only to wake up in my bed like nothing happened.
:'''Stan:''' Dude, you're freaking out Mint Berry Crunch. He's peed his pants.
:'''Mint Berry Crunch:''' No, no! Mint Berry Crunch doesn't ever pee his pants!
:'''Mysterion:''' ''(disappointed)'' I knew there is no point in telling you guys.
:'''Human Kite:''' OK, dude, let's just say you're not crazy and it's true. What's the big deal? I mean, I think it'd be pretty cool not being able to die.
:'''Mysterion:''' ''(furious)'' Pretty cool?! Do you know what it feels like to be stabbed?! To be ''shot?'' ''Decapitated?'' ''' ''Torn apart? Burned? Run over?!!'' '''
:'''Stan:''' Kenny, Kenny, calm down!
:'''Mysterion:''' It's not pretty cool, Kyle! It fucking hurts! And it won't go away and nobody will believe me! Remember this time! '''Try and fucking remember'''!
:''(Takes a gun and shoots himself.)''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cartman:''' As the Coon explains how the disaster can be stopped something terrible happened. The Coon friends changed and their superpowers morphed them somehow turning them into super villains! The Coon try to reason with them. Try to bring them back to the side of good but it was too late.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Sometime later the boys are talking about their next move for a good deed]''
:'''Mysterion:''' ''[annoyed]'' You guys have no memory of me shooting myself in the head, do you?
:'''Toolshed:''' ''[laughs]'' What?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After Bradley has vanished off to his home planet]''
:'''Coon''': Fucking Mintberry fucking Crunch.

=== ''[[w:Crème Fraiche (South Park)|Crème Fraiche]]'' [14.14] ===
:'''Operator''': Thanks for calling the Food Network hotline.  Billing is $9.95 for each 60 second period.  To accept, say &quot;Creme Fraiche&quot;.
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': Creme Fraiche.
:'''Amanda''': Hi there, I'm Amanda.  What are you up to?
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': Oh, hi, I just, uh, thought I'd give the hotline a try.  What are you doing?
:'''Amanda''': I'm making a pan roasted chicken.
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': Pan roasted?  Like seared on the stove and then put in the oven?
:'''Amanda''': Uh-huh.  I'm just taking the chicken out of the pan.  It's so moist.  I'm gonna let it rest now, about five minutes.
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': Yeah?
:'''Amanda''': Yeah.  Ooh, there's lots of brown bits stuck to the bottom of the skillet.
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': You gonna glaze that fucking pan?
:'''Amanda''': Oh, I'm gonna glaze it.  You wanna help me?
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': If I was there I would.  I'd take some red wine - about a quarter cup - and then a wooden spoon and I'd glaze the fuck out of that pan.
:'''Amanda''': I got a wooden spoon right here.  It's pretty hard.
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': Yeah, you gonna put some onion in while you're glazing?
:'''Amanda''': I was thinking about shallots actually.
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': Oh, yeah, shallots won't overwhelm the chicken's natural flavor.  Fuck, yeah.
:'''Sharon''': ''[picking up phone]'' Randy Marsh!
:'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': Ah! Sharon!
:'''Operator''': Your time on Food Network hotline has expired.  To add more time, say &quot;Creme Fraiche&quot;.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|South Park (season 14)}}

[[Category:South Park seasons]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Lee Ritenour</title>
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      <text bytes="1519" xml:space="preserve">[[File:LeeRitenour Stockholm20090715.jpg|thumb|Lee Ritenour in 2009]]

'''[[w:Lee Ritenour|Lee Mack Ritenour]]''' (born [[January]] [[11]], [[1952]]) is an [[United States|American]] [[w:jazz|jazz]] [[w:guitarist|guitarist]] who has recorded over 42 albums, appeared on over 3000 sessions, and has charted over 30 instrumental and vocal contemporary jazz hits since 1976.

{{musician-stub}}
== Quotes ==
*I'm constantly thinking melodies. Now, to add interest to those melodies, obviously you have to know what things can be superimposed over a chord, and I will think of extended arpeggios and the upper estensions. If I'm playing very vertically, I will invariably start to include certaing passing notes which imply certain scales -- like a melodic minor scale against a C minor chord, or diminished scales, something like that. But I'm not thinking of a scale at that specific moment. I'm thinking of the notes as surrounding that chord -- because I know how each of the twelve notes in music sound against a C minor seventh, for instance.
** {{cite book | last=Denyer | first=Ralph | title= The Guitar Handbook | year=2002 | page=114 | isbn=0-679-74275-1 }}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Ritenour, Lee}}
[[Category:Guitarists from the United States]]
[[Category:Composers from the United States]]
[[Category:Producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:1952 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Los Angeles]]
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    <title>Finnish proverbs</title>
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      <text bytes="185503" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Gallen Kallela Lemminkainens Mother.jpg|thumb|Akseli Gallen-Kallela: Lemminkäinens Mother]]

Proverbs from all [[w:Finnish language|Finnish]] speaking parts of the world. Kansallisarkisto (National archive) has over 2 million Finnish proverbs, more than other [[language]]s in the [[world]]. (RRO)

__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha|[[#Ä|Ä]]}}

== A ==
* ''Aamu kuluu aatellessa, päivä päätä käännellessä.'' (Salo, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** The [[morning]] goes [[think]]ing, the [[day]] turning [[head]].
** English equivalent: The morning is wiser than the [[evening]].

* ''Aamulla kultaa, päivällä hopeaa, illalla multaa.'' (Helsinki, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Morning [[gold]], day [[silver]], evening [[soil]].

* ''Aamulla pottuja, päivällä pottuja ja lehemät ku illalla tullee ni taas pottuja.'' (Northern Bothnia) (SMS)
** In the morning potatoes, in the daytime potatoes and when the [[cows]] return in the [[evening]] it's potatoes [[again]].

* ''Aamun torkku, illan virkku on taloon hävitys.'' (Kauhava, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Asleep in the morning, [[awake]] in the evening will [[destroy]] the [[house]].
** Variation: Old Finnish hacker proverb &quot;Illan virkku, aamun torkku&quot;, &quot;If you stay up late, you're [[sleepy]] in the morning.&quot;

* ''Aateliset ja russakat eivät menesty Pohjanmaalla.'' (Peräseinäjoki, Southern Bothnia) (MMT)
** The nobles and bugs do not succee in Bothnia.

* ''Aatelles ei mää aika hukkaa.'' (Heinjoki, Karelia) (KRA)
** You won't [[waste]] [[time]] by [[think]]ing.

* ''Aena on viina juojasa löytännä.'' (Nilsiä, Savonia) (RRO)
** Always has [[booze]] found its [[drink]]er.

* ''Ahkeruus kovan onnen voittaa.'' (Tammela, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Diligence]] vanquishes hard [[luck]].
** Notes: Keep at it and you will [[succeed]].
** English equivalent: &quot;You can't keep a good man down.&quot;

* ''Ahneella on paskanen loppu.'' (Laukaa, Central Finland) (KRA)
** The greedy one will have a shitty [[end]].

* ''Ahneus kovan onnen voittaa.'' (Ylöjärvi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Greed]] beats the bad [[luck]].

* ''Ahneus vie linnut taivaalta ja kalat merestä.'' (Somero, Varsinais-Suomi) (MMT)
** Greed takes [[birds]] from the [[sky]] and [[fish]] from the [[sea]].

* ''Aika on rahaa – ja meillon sitä kyllä.'' (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** [[Time]] is [[money]] - and we surely have it.

* ''Aika on rahaa, sanoi työtön kun kellonsa myi.'' (Ristiina, Savonia) (RRO)
** Time is money, said the [[unemployed]] when [[sold]] his watch.

* ''Aikaa on enin maailmas.'' (Jalasjärvi, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** There's [[nothing]] more than time in the [[world]].

* ''Aikaa on, ja Naantalista saadaan lisää.'' (Kokemäki, Satakunta) (KRA)
** There's time, and from Naantali we'll get more.

* ''Aikansa komiasti, vaikka lopun aikaa kerjättääs.'' (Lapua, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** You must live cool some time, even if you'll [[beg]] the rest of your [[life]].

* ''Aikansahhan sitä pärjee vaikka hirressä.'' (Sotkamo, Kainuu) (KRA)
** Some time you'll [[survive]] even hanged.

* ''Aina ei voi voittaa, ei edes joka kerta.'' (Hugo-peikko)
** You can't always win, not even every time.
** English equivalentː Not every ball hits.

* ''Ainoan todella uskollisen kannattajansa poliitikko näkee peilistä.'' ([[Jaakko Okker]]) (SSSK)
** The only real true supporter the [[politician]] sees in the [[mirror]].

* ''Ainua poika se saa hyppiä vaikka pöyvällä.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** The only [[son]] is permitted even to jump on the table.

* ''Aivot avaavat ovia.'' (Tampere, Tavastia; [[palindrome]])
** [[Brains]] open [[doors]].

* ''Aja lujaa ja laula kovaa!'' (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** Drive [[fast]] and [[sing]] loud!

* ''Ajaa ku päätön kana.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (SSP)
** Drives like a headless [[hen]].

* ''Ajaa piru siivollakih ihmisel, kun vaan selkäh pääsee.'' (Iitti, Tavastia) (KRA)
** The [[devil]] rides a [[decent]] man, too, when it gets on the back.

* ''Ajuri pääpiruja.'' (Hollola, Tavastia; palindrome)
** The driver is one of the main devils.

* ''Akka eillä, vaikka huonolle jäälle.'' (Kuusamo, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Wife]] first - even onto thin ice.

* ''Akka miehelle on kun toinen käsi ja välistä niin kun molemmat käet.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Wife is for man like the other [[hand]] and occasionally like both hands.

* ''Akka mies aseeton.'' (Kurikka, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Woman]] the man without [[gun]].

* ''Akka on kohtu, akka on hauta.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** Woman is a womb, woman is a [[grave]].

* ''Akka on tyyris mööpeli.'' (Northern Bothnia) (SMS)
** Wife is an expensive piece of [[furniture]].

* ''Alku ain hankala, mut lopus kiitos seisoo.'' (Marttila, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** The [[beginning]] is always [[difficult]], but in the [[end]] stands the [[thank]].
** Notes: A good [[result]] follows from [[effort]]s.
** English equivalent: &quot;All's well, that ends well.&quot;

* ''Alus ol sua, kuakka ja Jussi, mut kyl siin perkelettäkin tarvittiin.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia; actually from [[Väinö Linna]]'s Täällä Pohjantähden alla) (RRO)
** In the beginning there were the swamp, the [[hoe]] and Jussi, but perkele was needed there also.

* ''Ampukaa hiljaa, hyvä herra!'' (Gottlund) (VKS)
** Shoot [[quiet]]ly, dear [[lord]]!

* ''Antaa ajan kulua ja varjon venyäǃ'' (Kankaanpää, Satakunta) (KRA)
** Let the time pass and the [[shadow]] stretchǃ

* ''Antaa maaliman huutaa, kuka voi tukkia maaliman suuta.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Let the [[world]] shout, who can shut the world's [[mouth]].

* ''Anteeksanto on ainuva silta syvämmestä syvämmeen.'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** [[Forgiving]] is the only [[bridge]] from [[heart]] to heart.

* ''Apu kärväsenki apu.'' (Ahlainen, Satakunta) (KRA)
** A fly's [[help]] is help, too.
** English equivalent: Every little bit helps.

* ''Arka mies ei saak kaunist vaimoa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** A [[shy]] man gets no [[beautiful]] [[wife]].
** English equivalent: Faint heart ne'er won fair maid.

* ''Arka piäsä säilyttää.'' (Joroinen, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Timid]] saves his [[head]].

* ''Arvio on valheen veli.'' (Lohja, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** An [[estimate]] is the [[brother]] of a lie.

* ''Arvostelijoille: aasinkin potkuun kuolee.'' ([[L. A. Salava]]) (SSSK)
** To the [[critics]]: you might [[die]] of the kick of a [[donkey]].

* ''Auringonpaisteessa pöly näkyy.'' (Laitila, Varsinais-Suomi) (MMT)
** In the sunshine the [[dust]] is seen.

* ''Aurink paista krisukassa.'' (Halikko, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** The [[sun]] will shine even into a pile of twigs.

* ''Aurinko ampuu kultanuoliaan.'' ([[Aaro Hellaakoski]]) (SSSK)
** The sun shoots its [[golden]] arrows.

== B ==
* ''Bensaa suonissa.'' (Jarkko Laine)
** Gasoline in veins.

* ''Bohatutta voitshet peittiä, a keuhyttä ei peitä''. (Tver's Karelia) (KSA)
** You can hide riches but not hide the [[poverty]].

== C ==
* ''Cahden Cauppa; Colmannen ei mitän.'' (WST)
** [[Business]] between two: the third gets nothing.

== E ==
* ''Ei auta itku markkinoilla.'' (Kemi, Lapland) (KRA)
** [[Weeping]] does not help at the [[market]]place.
** Notes: Said when something has to be [[accept]]ed, although one is not [[satisfied]] with it.
** English equivalent: &quot;It's no use [[crying]] over spilled [[milk]].&quot;

* ''Ei aekamies apuva tarvihe.'' (Kiuruvesi, Savonia) (KRA)
** A grown-up man needs no help.
** English equivalent: Every tub must stand on its own bottom.

* ''Ei Amerikassakaan kultaa lapiolla luoda.'' (Jurva, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Not even in America they're shoveling [[gold]].

* ''Ei elämä irvistellen somene.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (SSP)
** [[Life]] will not get more [[beautiful]] by making grimaces.
** ̽English equivalentː If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

* ''Ei elämään vuosia vaan vuosiin elämää.'' (Jämsä, Central Finland) (RRO)
** Not [[years]] to life but life to years.

* ''Ei halu halaamalla lähle.'' (Orivesi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Hugs won't remove the desire.
** Alt. Translation: &quot;[[Desire]] won't [[fade]] with embraces.&quot;

* ''Ei haukku haavaa tee.'' (Mellilä, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** A bark does not [[wound]].
** Translation: &quot;[[Words]] do not [[physically]] [[hurt]].&quot;
** English equivalent: &quot;Sticks and stones may break my [[bones]], but [[names]] will never hurt me.&quot;

* ''Ei Helsingissäkään piikaa piirongin päällä pidetä.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (KRA)
** Even in Helsinki they don't keep a housemaid on the dresser.

* ''Ei helwetti ikänäns täynä ole.'' (WST)
** The [[hell]] will [[never]] be full.

* ''Ei herrat paljo kärsi: ko tikulla silmään pistää, ni suuttuu.'' (Noormarkku, Satakunta) (KRA)
** The masters can't stand much: they get [[angry]] when pricked in the [[eye]] with a stick.

* ''Ei hätä lakii luje.'' (Eräjärvi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Emergency does not [[read]] the [[law]].
** English counterpart: &quot;[[Desperate]] [[times]] call for desperate [[actions]].&quot;

* ''Ei ihmistä näe muuta hampaisiin asti.'' (Hämeenkyrö, Tavastia) (MMT)
** You can see the man only to his [[teeth]].

* ''Ei ilmaseks saa ko pohjatuult.'' (Heinjoki, Karelia) (KRA)
** There is no such thing as free of charge except northwind.
** English: There is no such thing as a free lunch.

* ''Ei jaksa kahta korvaansa kantaa.'' (Pelkosenniemi, Lapland) (RRO)
** Can't carry the weight of his two ears.

* ''Ei kaik ruusu ole kaunei eik kaik kukkase hais.'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** All [[roses]] aren't [[beautiful]] and all [[flowers]] don't smell.

* ''Ei kaikki ole kultaa mikä kiiltää eikä kaikki ole hopeata mikä hohtaa.''
** Not all that shines is [[gold]], nor all that glows is [[silver]].
** English equivalent: All that glitters is not gold.
** &quot;An attractive appearance may be deceptive. It may cover or hide a much less favourable content.&quot;
** {{cite book|last=Paczolay|first=Gyula |title=European proverbs: in 55 languages, with equivalents in Arabic, Persian, Sanskrit, Chinese and Japanese|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=JiXzAAAAMAAJ|year=1997|publisher=Veszprémi Nyomda|isbn=1-875943-44-7|page=125|chapter=19}}
** Source: {{cite book | last1 = Strauss | first = Emmanuel | year = 1998 | title = Dictionary of European Proverbs | publisher= Routledge | page = 77 | isbn= 0415160502}}

* ''Ei kaikkia puhuas saam mitä tietiä.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** You should not [[speak]] everything you [[know]].

* ''Ei kannata mennä merta edemmäs kalaan.''
** Not worth it to go further than the [[sea]] for [[fish]].
** Swedish equivalent: Do not cross the [[brook]] for [[water]].
** {{cite book | last1 = Seura | year = 1984 | title = Virittäjä | publisher = Kotikielen Seura. | page = 264}}

* ''Ei kannata ostaar ruutia ja ammutav variksia.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It won't pay to [[buy]] gunpowder and shoot [[crows]].

* ''Ei kannettu vesi kaivossa pysy.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Carried [[water]] does not stay in the well.

* ''Ei kastunut vettä pelekee.'' (Leppävirta, Savonia) (KRA)
** Someone already wet will not be [[afraid]] of water.

* ''Ei kateus kauas auta.'' (Kemi, Lapland) (KRA)
** [[Envy]] doesn't [[help]] for long.

* ''Ei kipu, mutta se häpeä.'' (Alahärmä, Southern Bothnia) (MMT)
** Not the [[pain]], but the [[shame]].

* ''Ei kukaan ole Jumalan neuvokamarissa käynyt.'' (MMT)
** No one has visited God's advice chamber.

* ''Ei kukko käskien laula.'' (Jyväskylä, Central Finland) (KRA)
** The [[rooster]] doesn't [[sing]] when [[told]].

* ''Ei kuu kuule eikä päivä näe.'' (Isokyrö, Southern Bothnia) (MMT)
** The [[moon]] doesn't hear and the day doesn't see.

* ''Ei kysy kuolema tullessaan, että joko lähtee mielit vae jiämäänkö oes haluttanna.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** [[Death]] does not [[ask]] when he comes if you wanna go or stay.

* ''Ei köyhällä o muuta rikkautta antaa lapselleen kun kaunis nimi.'' (Koijärvi, Tavastia) (HSP)
** The [[poor]] has no [[riches]] to give to his [[child]] but a [[beautiful]] [[name]].

* ''Ei laula kahta satakieltä yhellä oksalla.'' (Mänttä, Tavastia) (HSP)
** Two [[nightingales]] do not sing on one branch.

* ''Ei leikki leivässä pidä.'' (Uusikaupunki, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** [[Games]] won't keep you in [[bread]].
** Notes: One must [[work]] to stay [[alive]].

* ''Ei lemmestä leluksi.'' (Northern Bothnia) (SMS)
** [[Love]] is not a toy.

* ''Ei luutonta lihhaa eikä päätöntä kallaa.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** No [[meat]] without [[bones]] and no [[fish]] without [[head]].

* ''Ei lämmin luita riko.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** [[Warmth]] does not break the bones.

* ''Ei maalima tehlen valmistu.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** The [[world]] doesn't be finished by working.

* ''Ei makkeeta mahan täyreltä.'' (Tyrvää, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Not [[sweet]] belly full.

* ''Ei meil tapeta, meil kiruteta vaa.'' (Mynämäki, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** We don't [[kill]], we just [[torture]].

* ''Ei mennyt niin kuin Strömsössä.''
** Didn't go as in Strömsö.
** Notes: Strömsö is [[w:Strömsö|a TV series]] showcasing arts, crafts and cooking, where the presented crafts and cooking always succeed.

* ''Ei mikhään ruusu, mutta kukka kumminki.'' (Ylitornio, Lapland) (RRO)
** No [[rose]], but a [[flower]] after all.

* ''Ei mistiän niin suutuk kum pahast tolest.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** [[Nothing]] makes more [[angry]] than bad [[truth]].

* ''Ei mitään missään milloinkaan.'' (Viitasaari, Central Finland) (KSJ)
** Nothing nowhere never.

* ''Ei mull om muuta kur rahaa ja risasia vaatteit.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** I´ve got nothing but [[money]] and ragged [[clothes]].

* ''Ei ne pienet ihmiset missään sen suurempia o.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Tiny [[people]] are greater nowhere.

* ''Ei nien nokkaasap pilemmälle.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Doesn't [[see]] further than his [[nose]].

* ''Ei niin huonoo hametta, jottei housuja vastoo''. (Eno, Karelia) (KSJ)
** Even the worst skirt is a match for [[trousers]].

* ''Ei niin pahhoo, joss ei jottai hyvvee.'' (Kiuruvesi, Savonia) (KRA)
** There's no [[evil]] without some [[goodness]].
** English equivalent; Every [[cloud]] has its [[silver]] lining.

* ''Ei niin pieniä pitoja jottei kuokkavieraita.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Never such a small feast, that it won't have spongers on.
** Notes: Has a wide variety of usage, but the [[traditional]] and everyday instance where it is most often used, is when [[flies]] are buzzing around your [[meal]].

* ''Ei nimi miestä pahena, jos ei mies nimiihhän.'' (Rovaniemi, Lapland) (KRA)
** A [[name]] doesn't make a man worse, if the man doesn't make his name worse.
** English equivalent: A [[rose]] by any other name would [[smell]] as sweet.

* ''Ei o orjal pyhiä eikä vaimol lapsellisel.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The [[slave]] hasn't [[holidays]] nor the [[wife]] with kids.

* ''Ei okkam mikiän öylösen terrim poika.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Isn't a fledgling of [[yesterday]]'s grouse.

* ''Ei ol koiraa karvoin kattomist.'' (Noormarkku, Satakunta) (KRA)
** Judge not the [[dog]] by its [[hair]].
** English equivalent: &quot;Don't judge a [[book]] by its cover.&quot;

* ''Ei ole muuta sivistystä saanut kuin rokotuksen.'' (Mellilä, Varsinais-Suomi) (MMT)
** Hasn't got any other [[education]] but [[vaccination]].

* ''Ei ole poika päishän vain on liukhat kengät''. (Lapland) (SMS)
** The boy ain't drunk but has slippery [[shoes]].

* ''Ei ole synti olla savolainen, mutta se on iso häpeä.'' (Hollola) (KNM)
** It's not a [[sin]] to be a Savonian, but it's a big [[shame]].

* ''Ei olem muuta sivistystä saanum mukka rokotuksen.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** Hasn't got any other education but vaccination.

* ''Ei om muuval maata kun kynsien alla.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Land nowhere but under the fingernails.

* ''Ei omena kauas puusta putoa.''
** English equivalent and translation: The [[apple]] does not fall far from the [[tree]].
** Meaning: &quot;[[Children]] [[observe]] daily and — in their [[behaviour]] — often follow the [[example]] of their [[parents]].&quot;
** Hungarian equivalent: ''Az alma nem esik messze a fájától.''
** Source for meaning: {{cite book|last=Paczolay|first=Gyula |title=European proverbs: in 55 languages, with equivalents in Arabic, Persian, Sanskrit, Chinese and Japanese|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=JiXzAAAAMAAJ|year=1997|publisher=Veszprémi Nyomda|isbn=1-875943-44-7|page=259|chapter=48}}

* ''Ei oppi ojhan kaaja.'' (Kittilä, Lapland) (KRA)
** [[Education]] won't knock you down in the ditch.
** Translation: &quot;Education keeps you on the [[road]].&quot;

* ''Ei ou kukkaan seppä syntyissään.'' (Karttula, Savonia) (KRA)
** No one is a [[blacksmith]] when they are [[born]].
** Translation: No one can be an [[expect]]ed to be an [[expert]] at something before they have [[tried]] it.
** English equivalent: [[Live]] and [[learn]].

* ''Ei paha ole kenkään ihminen, / vaan toinen on heikompi toista.'' ([[Eino Leino]]) (SSSK)
** [[Evil]] is no human, / but another is [[weak]]er than the other.

* ''Ei pahakan yksin tappele.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Evil does not [[fight]] [[alone]].

* ''Ei pahan silmän paljo pidä näkemän.'' (WST)
** The evil [[eye]] should not see much.

* ''Ei pidä tehdä kärpäsestä härkästä.''
** English equivalent: Don't make a [[mountain]] out of a molehill.
**{{cite book | last1 = Paczolay | first = Gyula | year = 1997 | title = European Proverbs in 55 languages | publisher = DeProverbio.com | page = 409 | pages = 527 | isbn = 1-875943-44-7}}

* ''Ei pien koukku issoo kalloo ota.'' (Nilsiä, Savonia) (RRO)
** A small hook doesn't take big [[fish]].

* ''Ei pien pieru persettä revi.'' (Sysmä, Tavastia) (KRA)
** A [[weak]] fart doesn't rip the ass.

* ''Ei piiska luita riko.'' (Joensuu, Karelia) (KRA)
** Whip doesn't break [[bones]].

* ''Ei piläl lentiek korkiemmallek kun siivet kannattaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** One shouldn't fly higher than the wings carry.

* ''Ei piä ottaa etelästä eukkoa eikä pohjosesta poroa – kumpikin palaa syntymäsijoilleen.'' (Paltamo, Kainuu) (RRO)
** One shouldn't take a [[wife]] from the south nor a reindeer from the north - both will return to where they were [[born]].

* ''Ei rahal sieluu ol.'' (Lohja, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** [[Money]] has no [[soul]].

* ''Ei rakkaus ole potaatti, se on sipuli tai lanttu.'' (Juva, Savonia) (MMT)
** [[Love]] ain't a potato, it's an onion or rutabaga.

* ''Ei rumuus tartu.'' (Forssa, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Ugliness]] does not infect.

* ''Ei saa leikkii ruan kans.'' (Mynämäki, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** Don't [[play]] with [[food]].

* ''Ei savua ilman tulta.''
** No [[smoke]] without [[fire]].
** English equivalent: Every why hath its wherefore.
** There is no effect without some cause. ''or'' It is supposed that if there is a rumour, there must be some truth behind it.
** {{cite book|last=Paczolay|first=Gyula |title=European proverbs: in 55 languages, with equivalents in Arabic, Persian, Sanskrit, Chinese and Japanese|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=JiXzAAAAMAAJ|year=1997|publisher=Veszprémi Nyomda|isbn=1-875943-44-7|page=33|chapter=1}}
** {{cite book | last1 = Kallio | year = 2002 | title = Ei savua ilman tulta: runoja ja kuvia | publisher = A. M. Kallio}}

* ''Ei se helevettikhän niin kuuma ole ku pappi sen saarnaa.'' (Kemi, Lapland) (KRA)
** The [[hell]] is not so hot as the [[priest]] claims.
** The man of virtue makes the difficulty to be overcome his first business, and success only a subsequent consideration.
** [[Confucius]], ''Analects'' (~206 BC – 220 AD).

* ''Ei se kuppaa pahempaa oo.'' (Lapua, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** It's not worse than syphilis.

* ''Ei se lapsi ikkää ihte kävele, jota aina talutettaan.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** The [[child]] who is always leaded will never walk herself/himself.

* ''Ei se maistup paljo honkalt eikä haavalt.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** It doesn't taste much like [[pine]] or aspen.

* ''Ei se ou mies joka humalassa laulaa, vuan sen on mies joka kohmelossa rallattaa.'' (Rautalampi, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Man]] ain't the one who sings [[drunken]], the man is who [[sings]] when he has hangover.

* ''Ei se parta päivässä kasva.'' (Kaavi, Savonia) (KRA)
** The [[beard]] doesn't [[grow]] in a [[day]].

* ''Ei se puhuen parane.'' (Tammelinus) (VKS)
** It doesn't get better by [[talking]].
** English equivalent: Fine words butter no parsnips.

* ''Ei se synti mitään mutta ne seuraukset.'' (Mäntyharju, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Sin]] means nothing but the [[consequences]].

* ''Ei se tapaans paranna, jok ei miältään pahota.'' (Hattula, Tavastia) (KRA)
** One will not [[change]] his [[habit]], if he hasn't [[hurt]] his [[feelings]].

* ''Ei siitä yhteiskunta kärsi, vaikka sammakot nai.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** The [[society]] doesn't [[suffer]] if [[frogs]] fuck.

* ''Ei sille kunnian kukko laula.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** The [[rooster]] of [[honor]] will not [[sing]] to him.

* ''Ei sim paitas tähäp pyykkiin kuulu.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Your shirt doesn't belong to this laundry.

* ''Ei sit täs maalimas tieläv vaikka kupernyörinä kuolis.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** You don't [[know]] in this [[world]] if you'll die as a governor.

* ''Ei sodas silimiä kattota.'' (Jalasjärvi, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** You don't [[look]] in the [[eyes]] at war.

* ''Ei sota yhtä miestä kaipaa.'' (Sumiainen, Central Finland) (KRA)
** [[War]] does not long for one man.

* ''Ei Suames pruukat sian pääs sarvei.'' (Laitila, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Horns on [[pig]]'s [[head]] are not [[want]]ed in [[Finland]].

* ''Ei Suomi niin kauan nälkään kuole, kun tuuli männyn latvaa heiluttaa.'' (Sotkamo, Kainuu) (KRA)
** [[Finland]] won't [[starve]] to death as long as [[wind]] swings the pinetops.

* ''Ei surku tuu, vaikka Turku palas, ko Pori on viälä jäljellä.'' (Lavia, Satakunta) (KRA)
** Wouldn't be [[sorry]] if Turku would [[burn]] down, 'cause there's still Pori left.

* ''Ei suu kulu suurelles eikä käsi kättä antais.'' (Satakunta) (SMS)
** The [[mouth]] doesn't wear out by [[kissing]] nor the [[hand]] by shaking hands.

* ''Ei suuret sanat suuta halkase.'' (Soini, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Big [[words]] won't split ones [[mouth]].
** English equivalent: &quot;Actions [[speak]] louder than words.&quot;

* ''”Ei syrän kualis, jollei silmä näkis”, sanoi Sarini.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** &quot;The [[heart]] wouldn't [[die]] if the [[eye]] wouldn't see&quot;, said Sarini.

* ''Ei tarts joka paikkaan nenääns pistää.'' (Hattula, Tavastia) (KRA)
** ''You should not put your [[nose]] in every [[place]].''

* ''Ei tarttek kul leipiä ja lämpyist.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** [[Needs]] just [[bread]] and warmth.

* ''Ei tavaraa hauthan saa.'' (Ullava, Central Bothnia) (KRA)
** ''You can't get [[property]] to the [[grave]].''

* ''Ei tie suku sure eikä siestä.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** This [[family]] doesn't [[mourn]] nor save [[money]].

* ''Ei tippa tapa ja ämpäriin ei huku.'' (Hämeenlinna, Tavastia; Vexi Salmi)
** A drop does not [[kill]], and you won't drown in a bucket.

* ''Ei totuurenpuhuja ol ikä yäsia saanu.'' (Halikko, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** He who speaks the [[truth]] won't get shelter for the [[night]].

* ''Ei tu tikka elävään puuhun eikä keärme muurajaisen polulle.'' (Jämsä, Central Finland) (HSP)
** A woodpecker doesn't come to a living [[tree]] nor [[snake]] to a [[path]] of [[ants]].

* ''Ei tulevaista tautia tiijä sairastaa.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** You don't [[know]] how to [[suffer]] from the [[future]]'s [[disease]].

* ''Ei työ tehhen lopu.'' (Iisalmi, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Work]] will not run out by working.

* ''Ei täin koivista kintahia tuu.'' (Ilmajoki, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** You can't make mittens of a [[louse]]'s legs.

* ''Ei tässä kiirutta ole, kun ei ryssä perässä tule.'' (Humppila, Tavastia) (MMT)
** There's no [[haste]], when a Russian does not follow you.

* ''Ei vahinko tule kello kaulassa''.
** An [[accident]] won't arrive with a bell on its neck.
** &quot;Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.&quot;
** Mary Schmich, ''Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young'' (1997)
** {{cite book | last1 = Granger | year = 2010 | title = ELexicography in the 21st Century: New Challenges, New Applications : Proceedings of ELex 2009, Louvain-la-Neuve, 22-24 October 2009 | publisher = Presses Univ. de Louvain | page = 184}}

* ''Ei vanha kettu enääs syäm myrkkyä.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (SSP)
** An old [[fox]] doesn't eat [[poison]] anymore.

* ''Ei vanha koira valetta hauku.''
** English equivalent: An old dog barks not in [[vain]].
** {{cite book | last1 = Strauss | first = Emanuel | edition = Abbreviated | year = 1998 | title = Concise Dictionary of European Proverbs | publisher = Routledge | page = 55| pages = 504 | isbn =0415160502}}

* ''Ei vara venettä kaada.'' ([[Kalevala]])
** Spare does not sink the [[boat]].

* ''Ei vene vettä pilloo eikä kyrpä vittua.'' (Kiuruvesi, Savonia) (KRA)
** The boat won't spoil [[water]] nor dick the cunt.

* ''Ei vesi haavaa tee.'' (Florinus) (VKS)
** [[Water]] doesn't make a [[wound]].

* ''Ei virret veisaten vähene.'' (Sotkamo, Kainuu) (KRA)
** [[Hymns]] don't get less by [[sing]]ing.

* ''Ei väkisin, mutta väsyttämällä.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Not forcibly but [[tiring]].

* ''Ei yhden kuuron tähden kahta saarnaa pidetä.'' (Idman) (VKS)
** The [[sermon]] will not be [[preach]]ed twice for one [[deaf]]'s sake.

* ''Ei yhtä päätä kahesti leikata.'' (Tohmajärvi, Karelia) (KRA)
** One [[head]] can't be cut twice.

* ''Ei yhtään oo väliä, kuka hallihtee, kun vaan raha liikkuu, sano Raineri.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** It doesn't matter at all who rules as long as the [[money]] moves, said Raineri.

* ''Ei yksi kauvan naura.'' (Paavola, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** No one [[laugh]]s long [[alone]].

* ''Ei yksi mies maailmaa kaada.'' (Teuva, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** One man doesn't bring down the [[world]].

* ''Ei yksi puu kauan pala.'' (Evijärvi, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** One firewood doesn't [[burn]] long.

* ''Ei yksi pääsky kesää tee.'' (Valkeala, Kymenlaakso) (KRA)
** English equivalent: One [[swallow]] doesn't make the [[summer]].

* ''Ei yksi pääsky päätä paskanna.'' (Ganander) (VKS)
** One swallow doesn't shit the [[head]].

* ''Ei ämmän päätä käännä kymmenen parrii härkiikä.'' (Somero, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Even ten pairs of [[oxen]] can't change the [[woman]]'s [[opinion]].

* ''Eihän helevetissäi ikävä ou, ku siel on monta kumppalija.'' (Joroinen, Savonia) (KRA)
** It won't be dull in [[hell]] 'cause there are many [[companions]].

* ''Eihän me ylpeitä olla, vaikka ollaan köyhiä.'' (Rantasalmi, Savonia) (MMT)
** We ain't proud, 'though we are poor.

* ''Eihän se kärpäsen kusi meressä haittaa tee.'' (Muhos, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** A fly's piss doesn't matter in the [[sea]].

* ''Eihän siin tarttek ku hyvät leuvat, kun toise haukkua osaa.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** You only need good jaws to [[blame]].

* ''Eihän sit yhtä päiviä vasten viitti ylöskän nousta.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** One won't bother to [[wake up]] for one [[day]].

* ''Eihääj Jumala muuta luonnuk kun aikaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** [[God]] [[create]]d nothing but [[time]].

* ''Eijov vuolet veljeksiä.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The [[years]] aren't [[brothers]].

* ''Eikö ottanu kieleen kippeetä, kun niin valehtelit?'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** Didn't it [[hurt]] your [[tongue]] when you lied so much?

* ''Eivät vuodet ole veljeksiä.'' (Räisälä, Karelia) (MMT)
** Years aren't brothers.

* ''Eletien ninkuv voilaa, ei ninkun tahlotaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** We [[live]] like we can, not like we [[want]].

* ''Elä juokse, unohtuu kävely!'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Don't [[run]], you'll [[forget]] walking!

* ''Eläinten nälkä ensin, ihmisten nälkä sitten.'' (Kauhava, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** The [[hunger]] of [[animals]] first, the hunger of [[people]] then.

* ''Elämä ilman viinaa on venäläisten mielestä sama kuin jos ei eläisi ollenkaan.'' ([[Kaapro Jääskeläinen]]) (SSSK)
** The [[Russians]] [[think]] that life without [[booze]] is the same like not living at all.

* ''Elämä o itkua ja kirvee hijomista.'' (Savonia) (KNM)
** [[Life]] is [[crying]] and sharpening an [[axe]].

* ''Elämä on ku hunajaa ja morsian ku peili.'' (Southern Bothnia) (KNM)
** Life is like [[honey]] and the bride like a [[mirror]].

* ''Elämä on kuin lapsen paita: lyhyt ja sontainen.'' (Ilomantsi, Karelia) (KNM)
** Life is like [[child]]'s shirt: short and shitty.

* ''Elämä on kun tervanjuontia.'' (Ähtäri) (KNM)
** Life is like [[drinking]] tarr.

* ''Elämä on pitkä puutelista.'' (Leevi and the Leavings)
** Life is a long list of lackings.

* ''Elämä opettaa, jos ei muuta niin hiljaa kävelemään.'' (Tuupovaara, Karelia) (KRA)
** Life will [[teach]], if nothing else, to walk [[quiet]]ly.
** English equivalent: [[Discretion]] is the better part of [[valor]].

* ''Elät vaan kerran, mut jos elät oikein se riittää.'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** You only live once, but if you live right it's enough.

* ''Emme tiedä. Myymme sitä Jumalana.'' ([[Samuli Paronen]]) (SSSK)
** We don't [[know]]. We [[sell]] it as [[God]].

* ''En kusekkaa sinne päin.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Won't even pee that way.

* ''En minä oo ruukannu yhtä miestä pelätä.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** I'm not used to [[fear]] one man.

* ''En minä ristus muista, oliko se kesä vai talavi, mutta suksilla mentiin.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** For [[Christ]]'s sake, I don't [[remember]] if it was [[summer]] or [[winter]], but we went skiing.

* ''En ole vanha vaikka olen vaan kauvan elänny.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** I'm not [[old]] 'though I've just lived a long [[time]].

* ''Enemmä sellajsta ja suuremmat lusikat.'' (Karelia) (SMS)
** More that and bigger [[spoon]]s.

* ''Enempi vuahta kirotaan kun siunataan.'' (Orivesi, Tavastia) (HSP)
** A [[goat]] is more [[curse]]d than [[bless]]ed.

* ''Englantia puhutaan, amerikkaa ymmärretään.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** English is spoken, [[American]] [[understood]].

* ''Enhän minä ollu nuuka poika, hautasin isän nahkoneen.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** I wasn't a stingy [[boy]], I buried my [[father]] with his skin.

* ''Ennen kesän kenkättä ennen kun talven takitta.'' (Ruovesi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Rather [[summer]] without [[shoes]] than [[winter]] without coat.

* ''Ennen maa repiää kun huora häpiää.'' (Heinlahti, Karelia) (MSA)
** Literal translation: &quot;It's more likely for the [[earth]] to rip than for a [[whore]] to feel [[ashamed]].&quot;
** &quot;[[Lust]] and [[greed]] are more gullible than [[innocence]].&quot;
** [[w:Mason Cooley|Mason Cooley]] (1927-2002), American literary academic and aphorist. ''City Aphorisms'', Eighth Selection (1991).

* ''Ennen pirun kesyttää kun savolaisen.'' (Sippola, Kymenlaakso) (KRA)
** It's easier to tame the [[devil]] than a Savonian.

* ''Ennen syötiin läskiä ja kustiin kauas.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** In the old times it was eaten fat and peed far.

* ''Ennen veljeltä vettä kuin vieraalta olutta.'' (Virolahti, Kymenlaakso) (KRA)
** Rather [[water]] from the [[brother]] than [[beer]] from a [[stranger]].

* ''Ennen viikon syömättä, ennen ko lauantain saunatta.'' (Ingria, Toksova) (KRA)
** Rather one [[week]] without [[eat]]ing than [[Saturday]] without sauna.

* ''Ennen virsta väärään kun vaaksa vaaraan.'' (Vilppula, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Better a verst into the wrong [direction] than a span into [[danger]].
** Translation: &quot;Better a mile of detour than an inch of a dangerous way.&quot;

* ''Ennen yksin puhuu ennenku pahan kumppanin kans.'' (Loppi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Rather talk [[alone]] than with a mean [[companion]].

* ''Ens lumi ja ens lempi on harvon pysyvää.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** First [[snow]] and first [[love]] will seldom last.

* ''Ensmäne peev o hirsipuuskin kaiken pahe.'' (Särkisalo, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** The first day hanged is the worst.

* ''Eres nuallaan ja takan purraan.'' (Yläne, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Licking in the front and biting in the back.

* ''Eri ihimiset jokka ruumihia pesöö ja eri jokka niitä teköö.'' (Isokyrö, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** The same [[people]] do not wash the [[bodies]] and make 'em.

* ''Etana etana, näytäs sarves, onkos huomena pouta?'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Slug slug, show your feelers, will it be [[sunny]] [[tomorrow]]?

* ''Eteenpäin sanoi mummo lumessa.'' (AVL)
** Forwards said the granny in the [[snow]].

* ''Eteläpohjalaanen esileikki: &quot;Aattele ittes märjäks, mää meen hyyssihin.&quot;'' (Juha Mieto, Kurikka, Southern Bothnia)
** Southern Bothnian foreplay: &quot;[[Think]] yourself wet while I visit the toilet.&quot;

* ''Eänetön hulluista viisain.'' (Sonkajärvi, Savonia) (KRA)
** The voiceless is the [[wise]]st of the [[fools]].
** English equivalent: Even a fool when he holdeth his peace is counted wise.

== F ==
* ''Funteeraustunti on kalliimpi kuin työtunti.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (KRA)
** An [[hour]] of [[thinking]] is more expensive than an hour of [[working]].

== H ==
* ''Haasta vennäiks ni akat ei ymmärrä!'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** [[Speak]] [[Russian]] so the [[women]] don't [[understand]]ǃ

* ''Haisee kun Kauhava kirkkomaa.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** [[Smells]] like the churchyard of Kauhava.

* ''Haisee kun näätä.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Smells like marten.

* ''Haistelek korkkia nyk kuv viinatkij joit.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Sniff the cork now 'cause you [[drank]] up all the [[booze]].

* ''Halpa tyä tuloo tyyrihiksi.'' (Kauhava, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Cheap [[work]] will be expensive.

* ''Hapakualj aijaa liäkäri talosta.'' (Ristiina, Savonia) (RRO)
** Sauerkraut chases the [[doctor]] out of the [[house]].

* ''Harmaat vaattiet om pirum paraat vaattiet.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Grey [[clothes]] are the best clothes of the [[devil]].

* ''Hartiois on miähen pankki.'' (Hyvinkää, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** Shoulders are the [[bank]] of a man.

* ''Harvon musikantit vaunulla ajjaa.'' (Lempäälä, Tavastia) (HSP)
** [[Musicians]] seldom drive carriages.

* ''Hassu kun kissan tassu.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Funny like [[cat]]'s paw.

* ''Haukkuu koira hyvääkin miestä.'' (Rönnbäck) (VKS)
** The [[dog]] barks a good man, too.

* ''Haukkuva koira ei pure.''
** English equivalent: A barking dog does not bite.
** Source: {{cite book | last1 = Strauss | first = Emmanuel | year = 1998 | title = Dictionary of European Proverbs | publisher= Routledge | page = 5 | isbn= 0415160502}}

* ''Haukotus lentää suusta suuhun niin kuin orava puusta puuhun.'' (Savukoski, Lapland) (KRA)
** The yawning flies from [[mouth]] to mouth like a squirrel from [[tree]] to tree.

* ''Heittelie kuj Jumala kerjäläist.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Throws like [[God]] a [[beggar]].

* ''Heitäp pois ketuhäntä kainalostas!'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Throw away the tail of the [[fox]] from your armpit!

* ''Helmikuu helistää, maaliskuu maata näyttää, huhtikuu humahtaa.'' (Karstula, Central Finland) (KRA)
** [[February]] jingles, [[March]] shows [[ground]], [[April]] thuds.

* ''Helmikuun hellät tuulet maaliskuulla maksetaan.'' (Suomussalmi, Kainuu) (KRA)
** The tender [[winds]] of February will be paid in March.

* ''Helposti saatu on helposti menetetty''
** English equivalent: Easy come, easy go.
** Things that are easily acquired, especially [[money]], are just as easily lost or spent.
** Source for meaning of English equivalent: {{cite book|author=Martin H. Manser|title=The Facts on File Dictionary of Proverbs|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=fgaUQc8NbTYC&amp;pg=PA71|accessdate=7 September 2013|year=2007|publisher=Infobase Publishing|isbn=978-0-8160-6673-5|page=71}}
**{{cite book | last1 = Waltari | year = 1956 | title = Turms, kuolematon: hänen mainen elämänsänoin 520-480 e. Kr. kymmenenäkirjana | publisher = W. Söderström | page = 172}}

* ''Helvetti, Vaasa ja monta muuta suurta kaupunkia.'' (Isokyrö, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** [[Hell]], Vaasa and many other big [[cities]].

* ''Herkui linnasakki muuteta: välist anneta leippä ja vet, välist vet ja leippä.'' (Kalanti, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** They [[change]] goodies in [[jail]] also: on one day [[bread]] and [[water]], on the other water and bread.

* ''Herra on herra helvetissäkin.'' (Naantali, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** A [[lord]] is a lord in [[hell]] as well.

* ''Hevosen hikee pelto tarttee.'' (Koskenpää, Central Finland) (KRA)
** The field [[needs]] [[horse]]'s sweat.

* ''Hevoossontakin on hyvää, kun sen vois paistaa.'' (Lapua, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Even horseshit is good when fried with butter.

* ''Hevosia hyviä, rahaa ja jyviä.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Good horses, [[money]] and [[grains]].

* ''Hidas puhe ja kankee kieli kuin Mooseksella.'' (Vihti, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** [[Slow]] [[speech]] and stiff [[tongue]] like [[Moses]] had.

* ''Hiki laiskan syödessä, vilu töitä tehdessä.'' (Mellilä) (KRA)
** A [[lazy]] [[person]] sweats while [[eating]] and shivers while [[working]].

* ''Hiljaa hyvä tulee.'' (Alatornio, Lapland) (KRA)
** Good comes slowly.
** English equivalent: Easy does it.

* ''Hiljaa lapset, kun isä tekee lapsia!'' (Mynämäki, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** Keep quiet [[children]], while [[daddy]] makes children!

* ''Hiljaisuus kuuluu paremmin kuin huuto.'' (Ylihärmä, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** [[Silence]] is heard better than shout.

* ''Hiukset ovat naisen kruunu.'' (Lappeenranta, Karelia) (RRO)
** The [[hair]] is [[woman]]'s [[crown]].

* ''Hiät Virossa, hiät Kyrössä, minä Yrjö yksinän.'' (Heinävesi, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Wedding]] in [[Estonia]], wedding in Kyrö, only me, Yrjö, all [[alone]].

* ''Hoppu ei oo hyväksi muuhalla ko kirpun tapossa.'' (Himanka, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** It's no good to [[hurry]] except when [[kill]]ing [[fleas]].

* ''Hukkuva tarttu oljenkorttenkki.'' (Muurla, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** One who is drowning will even try to catch hold of a haystraw.
** English equivalent: A drowning man will grab a straw.

* ''Hullu kaikki tietonsa sanoo.'' (Luhanka, Central Finland) (KRA)
** English equivalent: Speak not all you know, show not all you can.

* ''Hullu miäs Huittisista, syä enemmän kun tianaa.'' (Oripää, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Mad man from Huittinen, [[eat]]s more than earns.

* ''Hullu paljo työtä tekkyö, elliehä se viisas vähemmälläki.'' (Käkisalmen pit., Karelia) (KRA)
** A fool does a lot of [[work]], a [[wise]] man gets off easier.

* ''Hullu sitä nauraa, ku kylä palaa.'' (Lavia, Satakunta) (KRA)
** A fool [[laugh]]s when the [[village]] [[burn]]s.

* ''Huono aika, sano sika joulun alla.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Bad [[time]], said the [[pig]] before [[Christmas]].

* ''Huono nuora on piän vuara.'' (Nurmes, Karelia) (KNM)
** A bad rope is a [[danger]] to the [[head]].

* ''Huono vahti tekie monta varast.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** A bad [[guard]] makes many [[thieves]].

* ''Huonosta kuulosta on hyvä apu.'' (KHM)
** Bad [[hearing]] is a good [[helper]].

* ''Huumorin kukka on kaunein kukka.'' (Raahe, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** The [[flower]] of [[humour]] is the most [[beautiful]] flower.

* ''Huutaa ko Ristmäe kolmsilmäne poik.'' (Mynämäki, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** Shouts like the three-eyed [[son]] of Ristimäki.

* ''Huvilasta on vain kaksi ilopäivää: ensiksi kun sen saa valmiiksi, ja toiseksi kun sen saa myydyksi.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (KRA)
** A summerhouse gives you only two [[day]]s of [[joy]]: when it is built and when it is sold.

* ''Hymmyilee kun puuhevonen kuutamolla.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** [[Smiles]] like a wooden [[horse]] in moonlight.

* ''Hymy minkä laitat maailmalle tulloo joskus siulle takasiin.'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** The smile that you give to the [[world]] will come back to you some day.

* ''Hyttysen ääni ei kuulu taivaaseen.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** A [[mosquito]]'s [[voice]] is not [[heard]] in [[heaven]].

* ''Hyvä antaa vähästäkkiin, paha ei paljostakkaan.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** &quot;A good one gives from the little he has, a bad one not even from his plentiful.&quot;

* ''Hyvä kello kauvvas kuuluu''. (Säkkijärvi) (MSA)
** A good [[bell]] can be heard wide.

* ''Hyvä puhe: lyhyt ja levvee.'' (Nilsiä, Savonia) (RRO)
** Good [[speech]]: short and broad.

* ''Hyvä päivä, papu! Oleks toist missä nähn?'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** Good [[day]], bean! Have you seen another somewhere?

* ''Hyväll on nimie paljo.'' (Koski Hl., Tavastia) (KSJ)
** [[Goodness]] has many [[names]].

* ''Hyvät päivät hyppii käsist pois.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Good days jump out of hands.

* ''Hän vaihtoi hiippakuntaa.'' (Remu Aaltonen)
** He changed the bishopric. - (died)

* ''Hänellä on oma lehmä ojassa.'' (Säkkijärvi) (MSA)
** He has his own [[cow]] in the ditch.
** Note: An expression of [[suspicion]] or [[knowledge]] of ulteriour [[motive]]s.
&lt;!--** Note: A comment used when someone remarks about your bad situation even though they have the same [[problem]] (both parties has the cow in the ditch).--&gt;

* ''Hätähiisel ihmisel ei ok koskaan onnea.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** A [[hasty]] man is never [[happy]].

* ''Hätäinen huoran naipi.'' (Liperi, Karelia) (KRA)
** A hasty one will [[marry]] a [[whore]].

* ''Hätäkös tässä näin matalassa kaivossa.'' (Pälkjärvi, Karelia) (KRA)
** No need to [[worry]] in a shallow well like this.

* ''Hävis kun pieru Saharaan.'' (Kannonkoski, Central Finland) (KNM)
** Literal translation: &quot;[[Disappear]]s like a fart into Sahara.&quot;
** Notes: When something disappears without a trace, it is said to disappear as smoothly as a fart would in the Sahara desert.

== I ==
* ''Ihmiin älä hermostu, ihmettelev vaa!'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Man, don't get nervous, just keep on [[wondering]]!

* ''Ihminen vanhenoo, mut vika senkun nuortuu.'' (Säkkijärvi) (MSA)
** The man gets [[older]] but the [[trouble]] gets [[younger]].

* ''Ihmist ei tunne ennenkun on nähny sen syävän, silloin kun se luulee ettei kukaan nää.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** You don't know a [[human]] 'till you've seen her/him [[eating]], when he [[believes]] that no one sees.

* ''Ilman kossua pännii.'' (Sleepy Sleepers)
** It annoys without Koskenkorva.

* ''Ilo pintaa vaik syvän märätköö.'' (Viipuri, Karelia) (KRA)
** [[Joy]] to the surface even if the [[heart]] rots.

* ''Iloinen sydän saa iloiset ystävät.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** A [[happy]] heart gets happy [[friends]].

* ''Isi repi liperisi.'' (Palindrome; Risto Rekola)
** [[Fathers|Daddy]] ripped your bands.

* ''Iso mies tekköö levveitä jälkiä.'' (Säkkijärvi) (MSA)
** Big [[man]] makes broad tracks.

* ''Isoja kaloja kannattaa pyytää vaikkei saisikaan.''
** Big [[fish]] are worth of fishing even if you don't catch one.
** &quot;I have four degrees, my brother is a judge. We're not the smartest ones in our family. It's a third grade dropout daddy, a third grade dropout daddy who was quoting Michelangelo, saying to us, 'Boys, I won't have a problem if you aim high and miss but I'm gonna have a real issue if you aim low and hit'. &quot;
** Rick Rigsby, ''California State Maritime Accademy commencement ceremony'' (2017)
** {{cite book | last1 = Fyysikkoseura, Yhdistys | year = 1987 | title = Arkhimedes | publisher = Helsingin Liikekirjapaino Oy. | page = 185}}

* ''Issestäänhän paha pappi saarnaa.'' (Säkkijärvi) (MSA)
** The bad [[priest]] [[preach]]es about himself.

* ''Istuu kul luostarin nunna.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Sits like convent's [[nun]].

* ''Isäntä ku olutta juaa, niin kakarat on nälijäs.'' (Ilmajoki, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** When [[father]] [[drinks]] [[beer]] the [[children]] are [[hungry]].

* ''Itkeköön vittu, joll on palio vettä ja pitkät silimäripset.'' (Reisjärvi, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Let the cunt [[cry]]: it has plenty of [[water]] and long eyelashes.

* ''Itku ei estä kuolemasta.'' (Kankaanpää, Satakunta) (KRA)
** Crying doesn't prevent [[dying]].

* ''Itku pitkästä ilosta, pieru kauvan nauramisesta.'' (Muonio, Lapland) (KRA)
** Weeping will follow a long [[delight]], fart from [[laughing]] long.

* ''Itse kiitän itseäni, koska ei muut minua kiitä.'' (Savonia) (VKS)
** I [[thank]] [[myself]] 'cause the others won't do it.

== J ==

* ''Jaakko heittää kylmän kiven järveen.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Jaakko throws the [[cold]] [[stone]] into the lake.

* ''Janossa juuvvaa likanennii ves.'' (Savonlinna, Savonia) (KRA)
** Thirsty you [[drink]] dirty [[water]], too.

* ''Jo se teki nyt karhun palaveluksen.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Now he/she did the [[service]] of the [[bear]]. (In Finnish this means a negative deed, in German a positive one)

* ''Joha nyt on piru irt ja Jumala jalkapuus.'' (Parikkala, Karelia) (NMM)
** The devil is loose and the God in stocks.

* ''”Johan tässä tulee sokeeks”, sano Heikkilän trenki, ”ku eilän näki viälä lihanpalan läpi kirkontornin, mut tänään ei nää enää herneit sopas”''. (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** &quot;I'm already becoming [[blind]]&quot;, said the farm-hand of Heikkilä, &quot;'cause [[yesterday]] I still saw the [[church]] tower through the piece of [[meat]], but today I don't see peas in the soup&quot;.

* ''Joka ei muuto Jumalaas tunne, ni menköön merel.'' (Noormarkku, Satakunta) (KRA)
** Who otherwise does not [[know]] his [[God]] should go to the [[sea]].

* ''Joka entistä muisteloo, sitä tikulla silemään.'' (Rantasalmi, Savonia) (KRA)
** A poke in the [[eye]] for the one, who dwells on the [[past]].
** Notes: there is no use in dwelling old grudges.
** English equivalent: &quot;Water under the [[bridge]].&quot;
** English equivalent: &quot;[[Forgive]] and [[forget]].&quot;

* ''Joka kehhuin sottaan lähtöö, ei se sieltä takasin tule.'' (Joroinen, Savonia) (KRA)
** The one who goes [[boast]]ing to [[war]] never comes back.

* ''Joka kirkolla on omat vaivasensa.'' (Säkkijärvi) (MSA)
** Every [[church]] has its own [[poor]]s.

* ''Joka kuritta kasvaa, se kunniatta kuolee.'' (Rovaniemi, Lapland) (KRA)
** Who is raised without [[discipline]], he will die without [[honor]].

* ''Joka kuuseen kurkottaa, se katajaan kapsahtaa.'' ([[Kalevala]])
** &quot;Who reaches for the spruce, falls down onto the juniper.&quot;
** Translation: &quot;If you reach for something that is far too good for you, it is not going to end well.&quot;

* ''Joka leikkii rupeaa, se leikin kestäkyön.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Who joins the [[game]] should [[tolerate]] the game.

* ''Joka mualon moittii, se Luojan laittaa.'' (Kuhmoinen, Central Finland) (KRA)
** Who [[contest]]s his form, he mocks his [[Creator]].
** Notes: To be [[vain]] and conceited is to be ungrateful to [[God]].

* ''Joka paljon lupaa, se vähän antaa.''
** Who [[promise]]s a lot, gives a little.
** English equivalent: He says the moon is made of cheese.
** {{cite book | last1 = Hunfalvy | year = 1861 | title = Finn Olvasó-Könyv: (Finnisches Lesebuch.) A' Magyar Akademia Kiadása | publisher = Kalevala | page = 172}}

* ''Joka pian uskoo, se pian petetähän.'' (Peräseinäjoki, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Who [[believe]]s at once will be [[cheat]]ed soon.

* ''Joka siemenensä syö, se talonsa myö.'' (Laukaa, Central Finland) (KRA)
** Who eats the [[seed]] will sell the [[house]].

* ''Joka talon pihasta tie lähtöö Pietariin.'' (Nurmes, Karelia) (KRA)
** From the yard of every house leads a [[road]] to St. Petersburg.

* ''Joka toiselle kuoppaa kaivaa, se isse siihen lankiaa.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Who digs a hole for another, falls in it himself.
** Notes: Bad things done to others will come back to you.

* ''Joka viimeks nauraa se paraiten nauraa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Who [[laughs]] lastly laughs best.

* ''Jokainen merimies istuu oman arkkunsa päällä.'' (Nivala, Northern Bothnia) (MMT)
** Every sailor sits on his own coffin.

* ''Jokainen on menneisyytensä vanki.'' (Ylihärmä, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Everyone is a prisoner of her/his past.

* ''Jokainen osaa toisen elämätä elää, vaikk ei omaansa.'' (Rautalampi, Savonia) (KRA)
** Everyone can live other's [[life]] 'though not his own.

* ''Joko alako vanaha suolane janottaa?'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Did the old salt make you thirsty already?

* ''Jonka mesi kielessä, sen on myrkky mielessä.'' (Hämeenkyrö, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Who has [[honey]] on his [[tongue]] has [[poison]] in his [[mind]].

* ''Jonnekin juopunut jalakojaan.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Somewhere the [[drunken]]'s [[feet]].

* ''Jonset vihi, kyllähän ristit, sano Sussan Aapo papille.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** If you don't [[marry]], you will christen for sure, said Aapo Sussa to the [[priest]].

* ''Jos ei ole viinaa, ei ole leipää.'' (Kittilä, Lapland) (KRA)
** If there's no [[booze]], there's no [[bread]].

* ''Jos ei sauna ja viina ja terva auta, nin se tauti on kuolemaksi.'' (Hyvinkää, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** If sauna and booze and tarr do not help, the [[disease]] is [[deadly]].

* ''Jos herra pyytää takin hiaa, anna kohta koko takki, viöö se sen kumminkin.'' (Ilmajoki, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** If the lord [[asks]] for the coat's sleeve, give the [[whole]] coat immediately, he'll take it anyway.

* ''Jos hinta on sama, valitsevat ihmiset yleensä mieluummin hyvän kuin huonon, ellei se ole hengentuote.'' ([[Samuli Paronen]]) (SSSK)
** If the [[price]] is the same, choose the [[people]] usually the good instead of the bad, unless it's a [[product]] of [[spirit]].

* ''Jos ihiminen olis elläin, niin Jussi meiltä ensin pois pantas, sano Honkavaari.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** If [[human]] would be an [[animal]] Jussi would be the first to put away, said Honkavaari.

* ''Jos kuolen, niin jiä suremaan olematon leski ja syntymättömät lapset.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** If I [[die]], the nonexistent [[widow]] and unborn [[children]] will stay [[grieving]].

* ''Jos mene Helsinkin tai helvetti, ni molemmis sitä raha tarvita.'' (Uskela, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** If you will go to Helsinki or to [[hell]], you'll need [[money]] in both.

* ''Jos on hopeaa hiuksis ja kultaa suus, tuppaa oleen lyijyä kintus.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** If one has [[silver]] in [[hair]] and [[gold]] in [[mouth]], he/she probably has lead in the [[feet]].
** English equivalentː Great talkers are little doers.

* ''Jos onni kääntää selkänsä, se ei ole ainoa.'' (Nummi, Uusimaa) (MMT)
** If [[luck]] turns its back, it's not the only one.

* ''Jos pistää sormeese paskaan, ni haisoo koko käs.'' (Sulkava, Savo) (KRA)
** If you put your finger into shit the whole [[hand]] will smell.

* ''Jos tahdot hävitä sodassa, mene rintamalle. Jos tahdot voittaa, ryhdy myymään kranaatteja.'' ([[Samuli Paronen]]) (SSSK)
** If you [[want]] to [[lose]] the [[war]], go to the front. If you want to [[win]], [[start]] [[selling]] grenades.

* ''Jos tahrot haukkumist, niin nai, jos kiitost, niin kuale!'' (Sammatti, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** If you want [[blaming]], then [[marry]], if [[thanking]], then [[die]]!
** English equivalent: In life you love me not, in death you bewail me.


* ''Joskuus, muttei täs kuus.'' (Lapua, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Sometime, but not this [[month]].

* ''Jota tuhmempi, sitä ylpeämpi.'' (R. v. Becker) (VKS)
** The naughtier, the [[proud]]er.

* ''Joukossa tyhmyys tiivistyy.'' (Viljakkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** In a group [[stupidity]] condenses.

* ''Joulu juhlista jaloin.'' (Piippola, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Christmas]] the [[noble]]st of the [[festivities]].

* ''Jumala auttaa ajan kanssa, mutta piru auttaa kohta.'' (Naantali, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** [[God]] [[help]]s on time, but the [[devil]] helps soon.

* ''Jumala on kuollut. - [[Nietzsche]]. - Nietzsche on kuollut. - Jumala.'' ([[Graffiti]]) (Laine, Jarkko (toim.): Suuri sitaattisanakirja. Otava, 1989. ISBN 9511109618)
** The God is [[dead]]. - Nietzsche. - Nietzsche is dead. - God.

* ''Jumala on köyhän turva ja raha rikkaan.'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** God is [[poor]]'s shelter and money of the [[rich]].

* ''Juoksee jonku matkaa alle minuutin.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** [[Runs]] some [[trip]] in less than a [[minute]].

* ''Juonia ne om pitkät puhiet.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Long [[talks]] are schemes.

* ''Juttua tuli kuin konekiväärin piipusta.'' (Espoo, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** [[Tales]] came like out of the barrel of a [[machine gun]].

* ''Juuri ku oppi olemaan syömättä, niin se kuoli.'' (Lapland) (SMS)
** That very [[moment]] it had learned not to [[eat]] it died.

* ''Jättää ku koirra paskansa.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (SSP)
** Leaves like the [[dog]] its shit.

* ''Jääkasa sen takana on.'' (Florinus) (VKS)
** A pile of ice behind him.

== K ==
* ''Kaappaa kun sus.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Grabs like a [[wolf]].

* ''Kaava on: naru + ominaispaino.'' ([[Lauri Viita]])
** The formula is: the rope + the specific [[gravity]].

* ''Kaffe kuuman ja flik nuaren.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (KRA)
** [[Coffee]] hot and the [[girl]] [[young]].
** English equivalent: Opportunity knocks only once.
** Notes: [[opportunities]] should be seized and not let slip away.

* ''Kaffi on hyvää aamulla ja pitkin päivää.'' (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** Coffee is good in the [[morning]] and all [[day]] long. - (Finns are the most eager coffee drinkers of the world)

* ''Kahesti ajatella, kerran puhua.'' (Lappajärvi, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** To [[think]] twice, to [[talk]] once.

* ''Kahtoo ku apina rusinapuusta.'' (Kainuu) (SMS)
** Stares like a [[monkey]] from the raisintree.

* ''Kahvi on niin vahvaa, että kupissa lusikka seisoo.'' (Mäntsälä, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** The coffee is so strong that the [[spoon]] stands in the cup.

* ''Kaikki löytyy, mitä ei oo varastettu.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** [[Everything]] what's not [[stolen]] will be found.

* ''Kaikki naiset on kauniita – kahta lajia: kauniita ja vähemmän kauniita.'' (Muuruvesi, Savonia) (RRO)
** All [[women]] are [[beautiful]] - of two types: beautiful and less beautiful.

* ''Kaikki on kaunista kun vaan silmät tottuu.'' (Isojoki, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Everything is [[beautiful]] when the [[eyes]] just get used to it.

* ''Kaikki tiet Turkuun vie.'' (Karjalohja, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** All [[road]]s lead to Turku.

* ''Kaks hyvvee: nuorj naenen ja vanaha saana.'' (Nilsiä, Savonia) (RRO)
** Two goodies: [[young]] [[woman]] and an [[old]] sauna.

* ''Kaks kertaa köyhä kauppaa tekee: syksyyl myy halvast ja kevääl ostaa kalliist.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** Two times the [[poor]] makes [[business]]: in [[autumn]] [[sells]] cheap and in [[spring]] [[buys]] expensive.

* ''Kaks suamalaista ei tulkkia tartte.'' (Orivesi, Tavastia) (HSP)
** Two [[Finns]] need no interpreter.

* ''Kaksi Susannaa on parempi ku kymmenen muuta miestä.'' (Pelkosenniemi, Lapland) (RRO)
** Two Susannas is better than ten other men.

* ''Kaksi suuta puhuu enemmän pahaa kuin yksi.'' (Vantaa, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Two [[mouths]] speak more bad than one.

* ''Kalpea kun kuoleman kuva.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (KSJ)
** Pale like the image of [[death]].

* ''Kansanvalta on puhunut, pulinat pois!'' (Minister Johannes Virolainen, Suomenmaa 1980)
** [[Democracy]] has [[spoken]], babbles away!

* ''Karhulla on miehen mieli, yheksän voima.'' (Ylitornio, Lapland) (KRA)
** [[Bear]] has man's [[mind]], nine men's [[strength]].

* ''Karjalainen on kiero, mutta savolaista ei usko pirukaan.'' (Parikkala, Karelia) (KHM)
** A Karelian is crooked, but a Savonian doesn't even the [[devil]] [[believe]].

* ''Kattoo kun puukkoja nakkelis.'' (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** [[Looks]] like throwing knives.

* ''Kauniita unia, oman kullan kuvia!'' (Nilsiä, Savonia) (RRO)
** Sweet [[dreams]], [[pictures]] of own darling!

* ''Kaunis kun sika pimmeessä.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** [[Beautiful]] like [[pig]] in the dark.

* ''Kauppiaalla on sian sielu, lampaan aivut ja koirran omatunto.'' (Viitasaari, Central Finland) (HSP)
** A [[salesman]] has [[pig]]'s [[soul]], [[sheep]]'s [[brain]] and [[dog]]'s [[conscience]].
** &quot;When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time.&quot;
** '''[[w:E. W. Howe|Edgar Watson Howe]]''', '&quot;Country Town Sayings'' (1911

* ''Kauppias ei rikastu ennenko se tekie kolmek konkurssia.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** A [[businessman]] ain't get [[richer]] until he goes three bankrupts.

* ''Kaveria ei jätetä!'' ([[Väinö Linna]], Tuntematon sotilas, 1954, The Unknown Soldier)
** Never leave a [[friend]] behind!
** Notes: Finnish [[soldier]]s' motto during the Winter and Continuation Wars during [[World War II]]; soldiers tried to recover even [[bodies]] if at all possible to take them home. Even today remains of the Finnish soldiers are searched in Russian Carelia to be buried in Finland.

* ''Keikku se kööhäki, jolle muuhal ni hirres.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (KSJ)
** The [[poor]] swings, too, if nowhere else but hanged.

* ''Kell' onni on, se onnen kätkeköön.'' ([[Eino Leino]]) (Laine, Jarkko, toim.: Suuri sitaattisanakirja. Otava, 1989)
** Who's [[happy]] should [[hide]] it.

* ''Kellä on maltti, sillä on valtti.'' (Heinola, Tavastia) (HSP)
** Literal translation: Who has patience has a trump.
** English equivalent: He that can have [[patience]] can have what he will.

* ''Kellä parta, sillä valta.'' (Jyväskylä, Central Finland) (KRA)
** Who has [[beard]] has the [[power]].

* ''Kelpaa sitä elää, kun on akka kuollut ja lapset naituna.'' (Jurva, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Living]] is easy when [[wife]] is [[dead]] and [[children]] [[married]].

* ''Kenen leipee syöt, sen laaluva laalat.'' (Tuusniemi, Savonia) (KRA)
** Whose [[bread]] you [[eat]], his [[songs]] you'll [[sing]].
** English equivalent: Who pays the piper, calls the tune.

* ''Kerjäläiset viedään keväällä Kemijoen jäälle ja odotetaan että jäät sulaa.'' (Keminmaa, Lapland) (KRA)
** The [[beggars]] will be sent onto Kemijoki-[[river]]'s ice in the [[spring]] and then we'll wait 'till the ice melts.

* ''Kerran miehenä, kahesti lapsena.'' (Karelia) (HMK)
** Once man, twice child.

* ''Kert mies petetä, mutt ei toist.'' (Muurla, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** A man can be [[cheat]]ed once but not twice.
** English equivalent: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice; shame on me.

* ''Kerta kiellon päälle.'' (Suomussalmi, Kainuu) (KRA)
** One [[time]] after the [[denial]].
** English equivalent: One more for the [[road]].
** Translation: When something has been denied of you, you can still do it once.

* ''Kesä iliman heiloo ei oo viijen rotanpaskan arvone.'' (Suonenjoki, Savonia) (RRO)
** [[Summer]] without a [[girl]] isn't worth five [[rat]]'s shit.

* ''Kesällä ei kerkiä, talavella ei tarkene, syksyllä on suuret tuulet ja kevväällä palijo vettä.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** In the summer too busy, in the [[winter]] too [[cold]], in the [[autumn]] [[strong]] [[wind]]s and in the spring too much [[water]].

* ''Kesäloma järven jäällä.'' (Lapua, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Summer [[vacation]] on the ice of a lake.

* ''Kesäsade kaunistaa.'' (Savonlinna, Savonia) (RRO)
** Summer [[rain]] makes [[beautiful]].

* ''Kettään sitte syytetään, kun minusta aeka jättää?'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** Who is then gonna be [[blamed]], when [[time]] leaves me?

* ''Ketulla ja likolla on yhtäläine miäli, ketulla on viakkaat silmät ja likolla on liukas kieli.'' (Renko, Tavastia) (KRA)
** The [[fox]] and the [[girls]] have the same [[mind]], the fox has [[cunning]] [[eyes]] and the girls glib tongues.

* ''Kevät on toivoa täynnä.'' (Ylihärmä, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** [[Spring]] is full of [[hope]].

* ''Kevättä rinnas ku Vähämartin kissal.'' (Lapinjärvi, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Has spring in the chest like the [[cat]] of Vähämartti.

* ''Kielell on kaks lukkoa, huulet ja hampaat.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** [[Tongue]] has two [[lock]]s, [[lips]] and [[teeth]].

* ''Kiire kun pirulla mailmanlopun eellä.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Busy like the [[devil]] before the [[end of the world]].

* ''Kiire kun sammakalla äkkeen alla.'' (Lempäälä, Tavastia) (HSP)
** Busy like a [[frog]] under the mower.

* ''Kiirettä kun härällä keveällä.'' (Hartola, Tavastia) (HSP)
** Busy like a [[bull]] in the [[spring]].

* ''Kiitoksia tyhjästä.'' (Pelkosenniemi, Lapland) (RRO)
** [[Thanks]] for [[nothing]].

* ''Kiittämättömyys on maailman palkka.'' (Sievi, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Ingratitude]] is the [[reward]] of the [[world]].

* ''Kilon söin lihhaa, kaks män hampaanrakkoon.'' (Viipuri, Karelia) (KRA)
** I [[ate]] one kilo [[meat]], two went between the [[teeth]].

* ''Kippis Pohjanmaan kautta!'' (Matti Jurva)
** Cheers through Bothnia!

* ''Kirves on mettän avvain.'' (Satakunta) (SMS)
** [[Axe]] is the [[key]] of the [[forest]].

* ''Kitalaki on kuiva ku beduiinin sandaali.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (RRO)
** The palate is as dry as the sandal of a Bedouin.

* ''Kiukkuhiin kun kirppuhiin koira.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** [[Angry]] like a [[dog]] with [[fleas]].

* ''Kiurusta kuu kesään.'' (Lappajärvi, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** One [[month]] from skylark to the [[summer]].

* ''Kiäl on annettu ihmiselle ajatusten salaamiist vasten.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** [[Language]] has been given to man for [[hiding]] [[thoughts]].

* ''Ko iso astuu, ni katu keinuu.'' (Satakunta) (SMS)
** When the big steps the street rocks.

* ''Ko loppu on hyvä, ni kaikki on hyvi.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (KRA)
** [[End]] well, all well.
** English equivalent: &quot;All's well that ends well.&quot;

* ''Koira haukkuu, tuuli kantaa.'' (Thieme, Melart) (VKS)
** The dog barks, the [[wind]] carries.

* ''Koira on hauki kuoltuansa.'' (Kankaanpää, Satakunta) (KRA)
** The dog is a pike after [[death]].

* ''Kokki on taenna pattaan hypätä.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** The [[cook]] seems to have jumped into the pot.

* ''Kolehti tulee hukkuneitten merimiesten hyväksi.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** The collection is for the drowned sailors.

* ''Kolmas kerta se toden sanoo.'' (Savukoski, Lapland) (KRA)
** The third time tells the [[truth]].

* ''Kolme kertaahan ihmistä kassotaan: synnyttyyvväään, vihittyyvvään ja kuoltuvaan.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Three times a [[human]] is noticed: [[born]], [[married]] and dead.

* ''Kolme on kovaa miestä: tuli, rauta ja vesi.'' (Kuhmoinen, Central Finland) (KRA)
** There are three tough men: [[fire]], [[iron]] and [[water]].

* ''Kolme suruu on ihmisel mailmas: lukemisen suru, naimisen suru ja kuoleman suru.'' (Pornainen, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** The [[people]] on [[earth]] have three [[sorrow]]s: the sorrow of [[reading]], the sorrow of mating and the sorrow of [[death]].

* ''Kolmel lämpymän antaa: sauna, viina ja pillu.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Three things give [[warmth]]: sauna, [[booze]] and cunt.

* ''Kon kuko kuale, niin kanan täyty ruvet laolama, sanos leskeks jääny emänt.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** &quot;When the [[rooster]] dies must the [[hen]] begin to [[sing]]&quot;, said the [[widow]].

* ''Kon puuro sata, niin kööhäl ei ol lusikka.'' (Satakunta) (SMS)
** When it [[rains]] porridge the [[poor]] hasn't a [[spoon]].

* ''Konstit on monet, sano emäntä kun kissalla pöytää pyyhki.'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** There are many means, said the [[lady]] when wiping the table with the [[cat]].
** English equivalent: &quot;There are more than one ways to skin a cat.&quot;

* ''Korea akka ottaa pitää, haukkuu se rumakin.'' (Jalasjärvi, Southern Bothnia) (MMT)
** One must take a [[beautiful]] wife, the [[ugly]] one also blames.

* ''Koree ämmä on kallis.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (KNM)
** A beautiful [[lady]] is expensive.

* ''Koria talo, sano Hollolam poika kul linnaav viätii.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** A beautiful [[house]], said the lad from Hollola when brought to [[jail]].

* ''Korreuvela on kiire.'' (Punkaharju, Savonia) (RRO)
** The beauty is busy.

* ''Koskela Suomesta. Syö rautaa ja paskantaa kettinkiä.'' ([[Väinö Linna]], Tuntematon sotilas, 1954, The Unknown Soldier)
** Koskela from Finland. Eats [[iron]] and shits chains.

* ''Kosto on suloista.'' (Vehmersalmi, Savonia) (RRO)
** [[Revenge]] is sweet.

* ''Koti köyhä, lapset alastomija ja näläkäesijä, syövät toenen toesijaan.'' (Sotkamo, Kainuu) (KRA)
** Poor home, the children naked and hungry, eating each other. - (Fortunately this has never happened, it's an example of black [[humor]] of the Kainuu region)

* ''Koto näkkyy, sano pohjalaispoika linnaa.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** There's [[home]], said the guy from Bothnia about the [[jail]].

* ''Krapula tulee (minä määrään päivän).'' (Klamydia, Vaasa, Southern Bothnia)
** The hangover will come (I decide the [[day]]).

* ''Kristinusko tuli Turun kautta Suomeen, ja Turun kautta / ja myös menee Suomesta pois.'' ([[Pentti Saarikoski]]) (SSSK)
** [[Christianity]] came through Turku to [[Finland]], and through Turku / goes from Finland away also.

* ''Kruunun köysi on pitkä.'' (Kiihtelysvaara, Karelia) (MMT)
** The [[Monarchy|Crown]]'s rope is long.

* ''Ku lapses huutaa ja akkas parkuu, nii ota ryysys ja lähe karkhun.'' (Lapland) (SMS)
** When your [[children]] shout and [[wife]] [[cries]], take your rags and [[run]] away.

* ''Ku ruumis on rituratu, nin kaffekupist on hyvä apu.'' (Halikko, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** When the [[body]] is exhausted is a cup of [[coffee]] true helper.

* ''Ku yksin puhu ja yksin vasta, ni ei koska riitta tul.'' (Uskela, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** There's no quarrel when one [[speak]]s and [[answer]]s [[alone]].

* ''Kuatamaton kuus on kaaniimpi.'' (Muuruvesi, Savonia) (RRO)
** The unfall [[fir]] is more [[beautiful]].

* ''Kuinkahan hyvä noiden rikkaitten on, kun minunkin on näin hyvä.'' (Ylistaro, Southern Bothnia) (MMT)
** How good may those rich feel, when also me feel this good.

* ''Kuka järvellel lähtie, ser rantaan täytyy soutaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Who goes to the lake must row to the shore.

* ''Kukaan ei ole kalamiestä kateellisempi.'' (Kirvu, Karelia) (MMT)
** No one is more envious than a fisherman.

* ''Kukas kissan hännän nostaa, jos ei se itte?'' (Mäntsälä, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** Who's going to raise the [[cat]]'s tail if not the cat itself?

* ''Kukas ommaa akkaasa moittii?'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Who [[blame]]s his own [[wife]]?

* ''Kukas se kullalleen paha on, varsinkaa ennen vihkimistä?'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** Who would be mean to his darling, especially before the [[wedding]]?

* ''Kukat ovat hyviä kuuntelijoita.'' (Pekka Streng, Kesämaa)
** [[Flowers]] are good [[listen]]ers.

* ''Kukkanen se on nokkonenkin.'' (Järvenpää, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** The nettle is a flower, too.

* ''Kukko on kööhän kello.'' (Heinola, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Rooster]] is [[poor]] man's clock.

* ''Kulkie peräkkäin kun köyhän talom porsaat vaikkei niit ollukkan kun yks.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Walk in line like the poor house's [[pigs]] 'though there was only one.

* ''Kullakin päivällä on surusa ihtellään.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Each [[day]] has its own [[sorrows]].

* ''Kuluu aikaa ja purukumia.'' (Parikkala, Karelia) (RRO)
** It takes [[time]] and bubblegum.

* ''Kum puhuu itteksien, nin ei tur riitaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** There's no quarrel when you [[talk]] to yourself.

* ''Kun aina olis ehtoo ja lauantai eikä koskaan aamu ja maanantai!'' (Seinäjoki, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Wish there would always be [[evening]] and [[Saturday]] and never [[morning]] and [[Monday]]!

* ''Kun alun kuulie nil lopun arvaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** When you [[hear]] the [[beginning]] you'll [[guess]] the rest.

* ''Kun aurinko paistaa ja sataa, piru piiskaa muijaans.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** When the [[sun]] shines and it [[rains]] the [[devil]] is whipping his [[wife]].

* ''Kun ei kala syö, niin matonen säästyy.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** When you can't catch the [[fish]], you'll [[save]] the [[worm]].

* ''Kun ihminen tietää millon hänellä on tarpeeks, hää on rikas.'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** When man [[knows]] when he's got enough, he's [[rich]].

* ''Kun Juhannusaattoyönä juovuksissa nouset veneessäsi seisomaan ja avaat sepaluksesi pissataksesi, saatat nähdä rannalla tulevan leskesi.'' (Keuruu, Central Finland)
** When you in the Midsummer [[night]], [[drunk]], stand up on your boat to pee, you may see your widow-to-be on the shore.&quot;

* ''Kun kuulet olevan miehen Ähtäristä, elä lähe kyytiin, sano Viita-Antti Isontalon Antille.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** When you [[hear]] that the man is from Ähtäri, don't take a ride with him, said Viita-Antti to Isontalon Antti. (Antti Isotalo was a [[famous]] Finnish [[criminal]], &quot;häjy&quot; - perhaps badder than Stagger Lee - in the 19th [[century]])

* ''Kun lunta syää ja vettä juaa, niin ei paskakaan haise.'' (Laihia, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** After [[eating]] [[snow]] and [[drinking]] [[water]] the shit won't smell.

* ''Kun menee sutta pakoon, tulee karhu vastaan.''
** Translation: When you flee from a [[wolf]], you run into a [[bear]].
** English equivalent: Jump out of the frying pan into the [[fire]].
** This Proverb would [[teach]] us, not to give up one [[situation]] for another, let the first be ever so disagreeable, if the second be not a better.
** {{cite book | last1 = Trusler | first = John | year = 1790 | title = Proverbs exemplified, and illustrated by pictures from real life | url=http://quod.lib.umich.edu/e/ecco/004859207.0001.000?rgn=main;view=fulltext | page = 110}}

* ''Kun minä silmänj pesen ja piänj kampoon, nii outo luuloo immeeseks''. (Savonia) (SMS)
** When I wash my [[eyes]] and comb my [[head]], so a [[stranger]] [[thinks]] I'm a [[human]].

* ''Kun on olutta, niin on ystäviä.'' (Kiuruvesi, Savonia) (KRA)
** When there's [[beer]] there are [[friends]].

* ''Kun on suur perse, nin on suuret housut.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** When you have a big arse you have big [[trousers]].

* ''Kun on tyhymä nuppi, siitä kärsii koko kruppi.'' (Alavus, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** When the head is [[stupid]] [[suffers]] the whole [[body]].

* ''Kun oot menny Hallan, Nälijän ja Kuoleman kylien ohitte, tierät tullehes Alajärvelle.'' (Southern Bothnia) (EPV)
** When you've passed the [[village]]s Frost, Hunger and Death you know you're in Alajärvi.

* ''Kun sutten joukkohon joutuu, niin ulvua täytyy.'' (Ylistaro, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** You must howl among the [[wolves]].
** English equivalent: He went to rome and did not see the pope.
** &quot;'''FASHION''' -''n''. A [[despot]] whom the [[wise]] ridicule and [[obey]].&quot;
** Ambrose Bierce, ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1906)

* ''Kun venäläistä veikottelet, pie veiht vierelläs!'' (Ilomantsi, Karelia) (KRA)
** When you'll [[try]] to be a [[friend]] with a [[Russian]], keep the knife near!

* ''Kuolleen suuhun kun kassoo, ei tee miel säästämään.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** When you look into the [[mouth]] of a corpse, you won't want to save [[money]].

* ''Kuolon varjo on vain elämän sarastusta.'' ([[Zachris Topelius]]) (KNM)
** The [[Shadows|shadow]] of [[death]] is just dawning of life.

* ''Kuorsaa ku velaton mies.'' (Northern Bothnia) (SMS)
** Snores like a debt-free man.

* ''Kur rautanauloja syö, nin kettinkiä paskantaa.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (KRA)
** When you [[eat]] nails made of [[iron]], you'll shit chains.

* ''Kuri on säilöttyä vihaa.'' ([[Henrik Tikkanen]]) (KNM)
** [[Discipline]] is preserved [[hatred]].

* ''Kuta useampi kokki, sitä huonompi soppa.'' (Teisko, Tavastia) (KRA)
** The more [[cooks]] there are, the worse the soup will be
** English equivalent: &quot;Too many cooks spoil the broth.&quot;

* ''Kuu kiurusta kessään, puol kuuta peipposesta, västäräkistä vähäsen, pääskysestä ei päivääkään.'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** One [[month]] from the [[lark]] to the [[summer]], half month from the chaffinch, from the wagtail a little, from the [[swallow]] not a [[day]].

* ''Kuu on nuarten miästen aurinko.'' (Kuru, Tavastia) (HSP)
** The [[moon]] is the [[sun]] of [[young]] men.

* ''Kuu on torpparin aurinko.'' (Loimaa, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** The moon is crofter's sun.

* ''Kuumia kun köyhän kyynelehet.'' (Satakunta) (SMS)
** Hot like the [[poor]]'s [[tears]].

* ''Kyl hiir syöp pienet synnit.'' (Elimäki, Kymenlaakso) (KRA)
** [[Mouse]] will [[eat]] tiny [[sin]]s.

* ''Kyl Jumal paljon tiettä, mut liikkuva ihmine tiettä viel enem.'' (Salo, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** [[God]] [[knows]] a lot, but a [[traveling]] man knows even more.

* ''Kyl kööhän o hyvä ol, ei ol ussein pää kippee eikä vatta liijjan täyn.'' (Nakkila, Satakunta) (KRA)
** It's good to be [[poor]], the [[head]] aches not too often and the stomach ain't too full.

* ''Kyl maal viissai ollan, ko merel vahiink tapattu.'' (Rauma, Satakunta) (KRA)
** The [[people]] on [[land]] are [[wise]] when [[accident]] happens at [[sea]].

* ''Kyl minä äites tunnen, isääs vähä epäilen.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** I surely know your [[mother]] but I [[doubt]] your [[father]] a little.

* ''Kyl myö pojat nyr reisuul lähletiäv, vaikka satas vanhoja ämmiä puukot hampais.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** We boys shall leave now even if it would [[rain]] grannies with knives in their [[teeth]].

* ''Kyl mää sen olem päättäny, ettem mää toista kertaa näi nuarena men naimisii, sano Vaalsteeni.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** I've [[decided]] that I won't [[marry]] this [[young]] the second time, said Vaalsteeni.

* ''Kyl on oksan ottajia, jos on puun kaatajia.'' (Hyppälä, Karelia) (MSA)
** &quot;Always [[exist]] branch grabbers, when exist [[tree]] fellers.&quot;
** Translation: &quot;If there is someone to fell the tree, there shall be no shortage of those [[willing]] to hold a branch to help.&quot;
** Notes: This is a disparaging [[saying]] about those who are all too willing to participate in [[sharing]] [[credit]] for a major undertaking by someone else.

* ''Kylhäm minä maan arvaav, vaikken käynnykkän o.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** I certainly [[guess]] the [[land]] 'though I haven't been there.

* ''Kylhän sit kihlos ja kännis on mukava olla, mut toista se on rapulas ja naimisis.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** It's surely nice to be engaged and [[drunk]], but it's [[different]] to have hangover and [[marriage]].

* ''Kyll oj jos sanotaanki.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It is if said.

* ''Kyll uskotaa, valehtelel lisää vaa!'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** We [[believe]], just lie more!

* ''Kyll yskän ymmärräv, vaikken taulin tavost tielä.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** I [[realize]] the cough 'though don't [[understand]] the [[habits]] of the [[disease]].

* ''Kyllä aika tavaran kaupihtee, sano Keuruun tyttö, kun 30 vuotta täytti.'' (KVL)
** [[Time]] will [[sell]] the [[stuff]], said the [[girl]] from Keuruu when she turned 30.

* ''Kyllä elävältä velkansa saa.'' (Pieksämäki, Savonia) (KRA)
** You surely will get the [[debt]] from a living [[person]].

* ''Kyllä koiran pitää totella ja vaimon.'' (Kittilä, Lapland) (KRA)
** The [[dog]] and [[wife]] must [[obey]].

* ''Kyllä köyhyys hyvä raittiusseura on.'' (Kiikka, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Poverty]] is certainly a good [[temperance]] movement.

* ''Kyllä maailma nuijii.'' (Idman) (VKS)
** The [[world]] clubs for sure.

* ''Kyllä mummu rees pysyy, ko kiroo ja köyttää.'' (Siikainen) (KRA)
** Granny will stay on the sleigh by [[cursing]] and roping.

* ''Kyllä nuorena piisaa unta ja nälkää.'' (Nurmo, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** There's [[sleep]] and hunger enough when you're [[young]].

* ''Kyllä nälkä opettaa lappalaisen ampumaan.'' (Sodankylä, Lapland) (KRA)
** [[Hunger]] [[teach]]es a Laplander to shoot, for sure.

* ''Kyllä on kakku piältä kaanis, vuan akanoeta sisässä.'' (Pielavesi, Savonia) (KRA)
** Or &quot;Moni kakku päältä kaunis, silkkaa silkkoa sisältä.&quot;
** &quot;Many cakes are [[beautiful]] on the outside, but are nothing but husks/pettu on the inside.&quot;
** Note: ''Silkko'' is a [[bread]] partly made from ''pettu'', a flour substitute used as a last resort against [[starvation]] during famines.
** Meaning: [[Appearances]] can be [[deceptive]].

* ''Kyllä saatana tanssiin taivuttaa ja korttia lyömään opettaa.'' (Kangasniemi, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Satan]] will [[teach]] [[dancing]] and [[playing cards]].

* ''Kyllä sammakkokin hyvää on, kun sen tietämättä syö.'' (Kuorevesi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Even [[frog]] is good [[food]] when you [[eat]] it without [[knowing]].

* ''Kyllä se joi kun sieni''. (Simo, Lapland) (RRO)
** He indeed drank like a sponge.

* ''Kyllä se routa porsaan kottiin ajaa.'' (Siilinjärvi, Savonia) (KRA)
** The frost drives the pig back [[home]].

* ''Kyllä silmä aina ethensä kattoo, mutta nenä parka vaaras on.'' (Laihia, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** The [[eye]] watches [[always]] ahead, but the poor [[nose]] is in [[danger]].

* ''Kyllä Siperia opettaa.'' (Central Bothnia) (Helsingin Sanomat 19.2.1994)
** Siberia will teach for sure.

* ''Kyllä vanha kissakin maitoo latkii.'' (Orivesi, Tavastia) (HSP)
** An old [[cat]] laps [[milk]], too.

* ''Kyllä vesi reiän löytää.'' (Kangasala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** [[Water]] will find its hole.

* ''Kylläp’on äkäsen kokin keittämee.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** For sure is [[cooked]] by an [[angry]] cook.

* ''Kylmä kahvi kaunistoa.'' (Kurkijoki, Karelia) (KRA)
** [[Cold]] [[coffee]] makes more [[beautiful]].

* ''Kylmä kuin ryssän helvetissä.'' (Suuri Sitaattisanakirja. Toimittanut Jarkko Laine. Helsinki: Otava, 1989. ISBN 951-1-10961-8)
** Cold as in the [[Russian]]'s [[hell]].

* ''Kylmä on koti isätöin, viel kylmempi emotoin.'' (Koivisto, Karelia) (KRA)
** Cold is the [[home]] without [[father]], even colder without [[mother]].

* ''Kypsyy, sanoo Rasin Ville saunas.'' (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** It bakes, said Ville Rasi in the sauna.

* ''Kyselee kuin entinen morsian.'' (Idman) (VKS)
** Keeps [[asking]] like a former bride.

* ''Kysy menneenvuotista lunta!'' (Florinus) (VKS)
** Ask about last [[year]]'s [[snow]]!

* ''Kyttää kur ryssä vittua.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Has [[eyes]] on a cunt like a Russian.

* ''Kärkölästä on viis syltä helvettiin.'' (Vanaja, Tavastia) (HSP)
** It's five yards from Kärkölä to hell.

* ''Kävelöö kun täi tervas.'' (Ylistaro, Southern Bothnia) (EPP)
** Walks like a [[louse]] in tar.

* ''Käypi joka talosa kun rupitauti.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Visits every house like a scab [[disease]].

* ''Köyhyys käskee elään hiljasest.'' (Loppi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Poverty]] tells to live in a [[silent]] way.

* ''Köyhä on köyhä helvetissäkin, sen pitää rikasten alle puita kantaa.'' (Ylihärmä, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** The poor is poor in the hell as well, he must carry firewood under the [[rich]] [[people]].

* ''Köyhä virret on kakssanasii.'' (Kivennapa, Karelia) (KRA)
** Poor man's [[hymn]]s have two [[word]]s.

* ''Köyhäks saa tulla, muttei neuvottomaks.'' (Uskela, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** You may become poor but not indecisive.
** Notes: Means that one should have the mental [[wits]] to [[survive]] even with little [[material]] riches. Often said when one has come up on some [[clever]] stratagem.

* ''Köyhän kans on niin raskas puhua.'' (Kurikka, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** It's so hard to [[talk]] with a poor man.

* ''Köysien puuttees nuatakin irti pirethän, sanoo Mäkelääsen akka tenaviansa.'' (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** In the lack of ropes those are kept loose, said the [[wife]] of Mäkeläinen about her [[children]].

== L ==
* ''Lahjoilla lait lumotaan.'' (Noormarkku, Satakunta) (KRA)
** The [[laws]] are enchanted by [[gifts]].

* Lahti on Suomen Chicago.'' (Amulet)
** Lahti is Finland's [[Chicago]].

* ''Laiha kun oravar raato.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Thin like squirrel's [[carrion]].

* ''Laihialainen ottaa anoppinsa häämatkalle, ettei morsian kulu.'' (Southern Bothnia) (JPK)
** The man from Laihia takes his mother-in-law also to the honeymoon, so the bride would not wear out.

* ''Laki luetaan yhdeksällä tavalla ja aina oikein.'' (Laitila, Varsinais-Suomi) (MMT)
** The [[law]] is read in nine ways and always right.

* ''Laki on sitä varten, että sitä rikotaan.'' (Mynämäki, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** The law is meant to be broken.

* ''Laps on isänsä näkönen, mutta ei tiijetä kuka isä on.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** The child looks like her/his [[father]], but nobody [[knows]] who's the father.

* ''Laps vanhemma peil.'' (Karelia) (SMS)
** Child the [[mirror]] of the [[parent]].

* ''Lapsen kasvatus on aloitettava sata vuotta ennen hänen syntymäänsä.'' (Wilhelmi Malmivaara) (SSSK)
** Child's raising must be started one hundred years before its [[birth]].

* ''Lapsi ja hullu toden puhuu.'' (Mänttä, Tavastia) (KRA)
** The [[truth]] can be [[heard]] from the [[lips]] of a child and a fool.
** English equivalent: &quot;Out of the [[mouths]] of babes and sucklings come all [[wise]] [[saying]]s.&quot;

* ''Lapsi meni pesuveden mukana.'' (Helsinki, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** The child went with washing [[water]].

* ''Lapsiahan niin narrataan, että mörköjä nurkassa on.'' (Viitasaari, Central Finland) (KRA)
** [[Children]] are fooled by [[telling]] that there are [[monsters]] around the corner.

* ''Laulamalla suru hävijeä.'' (Jämsä, Central Finland) (HSP)
** The [[sorrow]] will [[disappear]] by [[singing]].

* ''Lauletaan laulu kirijasta, jossa on lasiset kannet.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Let's sing a song from the [[book]] with [[glass]] cover.
** Let's [[drink]].

* ''Lauvantaina on kolome hyvää tiedos: sauna, puuro ja poijat.'' (Ilmajoki, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Saturday]] has three goodies: sauna, porridge and [[boys]].&quot;

* ''Leikki on lasten työtä.'' (Muuruvesi, Savonia) (RRO)
** [[Playing]] is [[working]] for [[children]].

* ''Leikkihän sijansa saa, sanoi Tuuloksen ämmä, kun sika nenän vei.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (KHM)
** Play will get its place, said the old hag from Tuulos when a [[pig]] took her [[nose]].

* ''Leipä on paras puolue.'' (Liperi, Karelia) (RRO)
** [[Bread]] is the best party.

* ''Leipää lasten unessa on.'' (Kuhmalahti, Tavastia) (KRA)
** There's bread in children's [[dreams]].
** English equivalent: Success is a journey not a destination.
** &quot;If you leave your [[art]], the world will beat you back to it. The world has not an [[ambition]] worth sharing, or a prize worth handling. [[Corrupt]] [[successes]], [[disgraceful]] [[failures]], or sheeplike vegetation are all it has to offer. I prefer Art, which gives me a sixth sense of [[beauty]], with [[self-respect]]: perhaps also an [[immortal]] [[reputation]] in return for [[honest]] [[endeavour]] in a [[labour]] of [[love]].&quot;
** George Bernard Shaw,''Love Among the Artists'' (1900)
** {{cite book|author1=Kari Laukkanen|author2=Pekka Hakamies|title=Sananlaskut|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=xH2azhaR74AC|year=1978|isbn=978-951-717-166-3|page=199}}

* ''Lennäl lennäl leppäkerttu ison kivej juurie, siell on sin isäs, äites keittiä sullep puuroa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Fly fly ladybug under the big [[stone]], there is your dad, your mom will cook porridge for you.

* ''Leoka kun epäjumalan kantapeä.'' (Kainuu) (SMS)
** Chin like the heel of a [[heathen]] [[god]].

* ''Leviää kuin rutto.'' (Vihti, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Spreads like plague.

* ''Likaista kuin politiikka.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (RRO)
** Dirty like [[politics]].

* ''Liukas kum papin kulli.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Slippery like the [[priest]]'s dick.

* ''Lukea kuin piru Raamattua.''
** [[Read]] like the [[devil]] reads the [[Bible]].
** Explanation: To deliberately look for loopholes in order to follow the letter without following the [[spirit]]. Note: Based on the [[Bible]] (Luke 4:1-13, Matthew 4:1-11 and Psalms 91:11-12).
** English equivalent: The devil can cite scripture for his [[purpose]]. (Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice act 1, scene 3)

* ''Lumi teki enkelin eteiseen.'' (Hector) (A [[house]] left behind when people had to move to [[Sweden]] or southern Finland after work)
** [[Snow]] made an [[Angels|angel]] to the hall.

* ''Luojalla on ollunna kiire tuotai luuvvessaa.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** [[God]] was busy when [[creating]] that one.

* ''Luonto on kun kollikissalla.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Is like tomcat by nature.

* ''Luonto se on, joka tikanpojan puuhun vetää.'' (Pudasjärvi, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** It's the [[nature]] that draws the woodpecker's fledgling to the [[tree]].

* ''Lupas yhleksä hyviä ja kymmenen kaunist.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** [[Promised]] nine goods and ten [[beauties]].

* ''Luulo ei ole tiijjon väärti.'' (Heinlahti, Karelia) (MSA)
** [[Belief]] can't [[compare]] with [[knowledge]].

* ''Luuta ja nahkaa ja vähän törkyä välis.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Skin and [[bones]] and a little dirt between.

* ''Luvates menöö aika.'' (Ylihärmä, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** The [[time]] goes [[promising]].

* ''Lyhyeltä virsi kaunis.'' (Nordling) (VK(S)
** The short [[hymn]] beautiful.

* ''Lyö kun vierasta sikkaa.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Beats like an unfamiliar [[pig]].

* ''Lähe hullun kansa huastamaan, niin suat tappaas tietee.'' (Kangasniemi, Savonia) (KRA)
** Go to [[talk]] with a fool, so you'll [[know]] your [[habits]].

* ''Lähti kuin kuppa Töölöstä.'' (Heikki Paunonen: Tsennaks stadii, bonjaaks slangii: Stadin slangin suursanakirja. WSOY 2000)
** Left like syphilis from Töölö. (In Helsinki the sexually transmitted [[disease]] hospital moved from Töölö area to Kumpula)

* ''Länsi ilman haltija.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (HSP)
** West the [[sprite]] of the [[air]].

== M ==
* ''Maantie on kova kävellä.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** The [[road]] is hard to walk.

* ''Maassa maan tavalla.'' (Oravainen, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** In a country according to its [[customs]].
** English equivalent: When in [[Rome]], do as the Romans do.

* ''Maasta matalakin ponnistaa.'' (Keuruu, Central Finland) (KRA)
** Even the [[small]]est will take off of the [[ground]].
** English equivalent: &quot;Out of little acorns (grow mighty [[oaks]]).&quot;

* ''Makkaa kun karhu pesässään.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Lies like a [[bear]] in its hole.

* ''Makkara on suosituin suomalainen vihannes.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** Sausage is the most popular Finnish vegetable.

* ''Makkee on matonen naoris, tuima hiiren turmelema.'' (Kangasniemi, Savonia) (KRA)
** A [[worm]]-infested turnip is sweet, salt-free, the one that a [[mouse]] has bitten.
** Note: &quot;Tuima&quot; has conflicting [[meaning]]s depending on dialect. In certain dialects it means [[food]] without salt; in other dialects the meaning [[transforms]] to &quot;fierce&quot;. In context, the proverb is saying &quot;spoiled goods are unpalatable&quot;, which is not obvious even to native Finnish speakers. If the emphasis is placed on &quot;makkee&quot; (sweet), the meaning reverses to say &quot;spoiled goods are better than nothing&quot;.

* ''Maksalla on vieraslista.'' (Klamydia)
** The liver has a [[guest]] list.

* ''Me ei olla enää me.'' (Sanni Kurkisuo)
** We aren't we anymore.

* ''Men ninkun olis ollum mahanalusta jalkoja täys.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Ran like having the bottom of the belly full of feet.

* ''Meni sisu kaulaan.'' (Härmä, Southern Bothnia) (MHÄ)
** Guts went to neck.

* ''Menie kirvietäm mettiej ja kirjatak kirkkuo.'' (Hollola) (KSJ)
** Went without axe to the forest and without book to the [[church]].

* ''Mennee niin, että pää kolomantena jalakana.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Runs like having the [[head]] as the third [[foot]].

* ''Meri ottaa ja meri antaa.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** [[Sea]] takes and sea gives.

* ''Mestaria ei voita kukaan, paitsi mestarin vaimo.'' (Vantaa, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Nobody will beat the champion, except the champion's [[wife]].

* ''Mettä antaa, mitä mettäl on.'' (Kalanti, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** [[Forest]] gives what forest has.

* ''Metällä on korvat ja järvellä silimät.'' (Sumiainen, Central Finland) (KRA)
** Forest has ears and lake has [[eyes]].

* ''Mie olen itte ja muut vasta sitte.'' (Lapland) (SMS)
** I am [[myself]] and the others only after me.

* ''Miehellä on kaks ilopäivää, kun muijansa kotia tuo ja hänen hautaan vie.'' (Askola, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** A [[husband]] has two [[day]]s of [[joy]]: bringing his bride to [[home]] and bringing her to [[grave]].

* ''Miehen tahto on vaimon taskussa.'' (Alajärvi, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Man's will is in [[wife]]'s [[pocket]].

* ''Mies ku suuttuu, ni maaki muuttuu.'' (Lavansaari, Karelia) (KRA)
** When the [[man]] gets [[angry]] the [[world]] will [[change]].

* ''Mies on kala, nainen kalastaja, rakhaus on koukku ja avioliitto on paistinpannu.'' (Lapland) (SMS)
** Man is a [[fish]], [[woman]] a fisher, [[love]] is the hook and [[marriage]] is the frying pan.

* ''Mies on ku Euroopan omistaja, vaikke mää tiätääkseni oo myyny palaakaa.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (RRO)
** The man is like the owner of [[Europe]], 'though as far as I know I haven't [[sold]] a piece.

* ''Mies on kuv viirunsalko.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The man is like a flagstaff.

* ''Mies on vaimon pää, syö mitä vaimolta jää.'' (Akaa, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Man is [[wife]]'s head, [[eats]] what she has left.

* ''Mietua kun linnunmaitua.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Mild like [[bird]]'s [[milk]].

* ''Mihkäs huamena on kuttuttuv valehtelemaa?'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Where [[tomorrow]] I'm invited to lie?

* ''Miksi elää, kun Lämsä hautaa halvalla?'' (Lohja, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Why to [[live]], when Lämsä buries cheap?

* ''Mikä laulain (röpöttäin) tulloo, se viheltäin männöö.'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** What comes [[singing]], leaves whistling.
** English: Easy come, easy go.

* ''Mikä lintu varrai laulaa, sen syövät kissat.'' (Terijoki, Karelia) (KRA)
** The [[bird]] that [[sings]] early gets eaten by [[cats]].

* ''Mikäs laps se sellain on, joka ei viilen markan vahinkoa päiväs tiä – poikalaps saa tehlä satasenkin elest.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** What's such [[child]] who doesn't do damage worth five marks a [[day]] - a [[boy]] may do worth one hundred.

* ''Mikäs pahan tappa, Jumal ei huol ja piru ei pirä kiirut.'' (Kisko, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** What would [[kill]] the [[bad]]; [[God]] doesn't want him, and the [[devil]] is not in a [[hurry]].
** Notes: Often given as a [[philosophical]] or mildly [[ironic]] reply to a query on how one is faring.

* ''Mikään ei o nin vaikeat kun hakea mustaa kissa pimeäst huoneest, varsikin jos se ei o siäl.'' (Asikkala) (RRO)
** Nothing is as difficult than searching a black [[cat]] in a dark room, especially if it's not there.

* ''Millane emo, sellane tytär.''
** Such [[mother]], such [[daughter]].
** English equivalent: Like mother, like daughter.
** Meaning: Daughters may look and behave like their mothers. This is due to [[inheritance]] and the [[example]] observed closely and rarely.
** Source for meaning and proverb: {{cite book | last1 = Paczolay | first = Gyula | year = 1997 | title = European Proverbs in 55 languages | publisher = DeProverbio.com | page = 137 | pages = 527 | isbn = 1-875943-44-7}}

* ''Minkä nuarena oppii, sen vanhana taitaa.'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** What one [[learns]] while young, one masters when old.

* ''Minkä taakseen jättää sen eestään löytää.'' (Heinlahti, Karelia) (MSA)
** What you leave behind, you will find in front of you. (&quot;A belt&quot;, said one [[child]])
** English equivalent: &quot;What comes around, goes around.&quot;

* ''Minkälainen isä, sen lainen poikakin.''
** Such [[father]], such [[son]].
** English equivalent: Like father, like son.
** Meaning: Sons may look and behave like their fathers. This is due to [[inheritance]] and the example observed closely and daily.
** Source for meaning and proverb: {{cite book | last1 = Paczolay | first = Gyula | year = 1997 | title = European Proverbs in 55 languages | publisher = DeProverbio.com | page = 137 | pages = 527 | isbn = 1-875943-44-7}}

* ''Minull on niim paljo rahaa kun tehtyä pahaa.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** I've got as much [[money]] as I've done [[bad]].

* ''Minun täytyy elää Suomessa. En voisi koskaan jättää tätä maata; se tekisi minusta lopun ja merkitsisi taiteelleni kuolemaa. ([[Jean Sibelius]]) (SSSK)
** I have to live in [[Finland]]. I could never leave this land; it would make the [[end]] of me and would mean [[death]] to my [[art]].

* ''Minä kans, sano pikkusonni.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Me too, said the little [[bull]].

* ''Minähän päivänä tänä vuonna kesä tulee, viime vuonna kesä oli perjantaina, sano entinen isäntä.'' (Mäntsälä, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** On what [[day]] the [[summer]] will come this [[year]], last year the summer was on [[Friday]], said the former [[farmer]].

* ''Missäs kärvänen olis jos ei hevosen takapuales?'' (Turku) (KRA)
** Where else would the fly be than in [[horse]]'s arse?

* ''Mistäs seppä puukon saa?'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** From where gets the [[blacksmith]] the knife?

* ''Mistäs tuli sianpää köyhän kaaliin?'' (Helsinki, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** From where came that pighead to the [[poor]] man's cabbage?

* ''Mittumaariasta päivät lyhenee.'' (Orivesi, Tavastia) (HSP)
** From Midsummer the days get shorter.

* ''Mitä jumalaton pelkää, se tapahtuu.'' (Laihia, Southern Bothnia) (MMT)
** What godless [[fear]]s, it will happen.

* ''Mitä luatolaine kirkos teke, nukku vaa ja näke unt silakoist?'' (Rymättylä, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Why is the man from Luoto in the [[church]], just [[sleeps]] and [[dreams]] of herrings?

* ''Mitä pitempi vyö, sitä lyhempi elämä.'' (Raahe, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** The longer the [[belt]], the shorter the [[life]].

* ''Mitä piänee herra, sen piruut.'' (Nurmo, Southern Bothnia) (EPP)
** The smaller the [[master]] the more devilish.

* ''Mitä suuremp herra, sen suuremp narri.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The bigger master the bigger [[clown]].

* ''Mitä usijamp kokki, sitä huonomp soppa.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** The more [[cooks]] the worse soup.

* ''Mitäs sit olis yhlen suruna kuv voi ollam monen ilona?'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Why to be a [[sorrow]] to someone when you could be a [[joy]] to many?

* ''Miäs on aina miäs, vaikkei solsi kun kukon kokoonen.'' (Lapua, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Man]] is always a man even if he had the size of a [[rooster]].

* ''Miäs syä, miäs jua, miäs se on ku rahan tua.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** Man [[eats]], man [[drinks]], man is who brings the [[money]].

* ''Mopo on metsän nopein eläin.'' (SLG)
** The recruit is the fastest [[Animals|animal]] of the [[Forests|forest]].

* ''Moppeli parka / metsässä hyppeli, / päällä tetsari, / mielessä itsari.'' (SLG)
** Poor recruit / jumped in the woods, / wearing combat belt, / [[suicide]] in mind.

* ''Muilem musta miv valkeai.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The others' [[black]] my white.

* ''Murjottaa ku ahven merrassa.'' (Viitasaari, Central Finland) (HSP)
** Sulks like a perch in the fish trap.

* ''Musta kuin korpin sielu.'' (Kivijärvi, Central Finland) (RRO)
** [[Black]] like the [[soul]] of the [[raven]].

* ''Musta kun karhun paska.'' (Säkkijärvi) (MSA)
** Black like [[bear]]'s shit.

* ''Musta mylläri ja valkoonen seppä on Jumalan edes kauhistus.'' (Teuva, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Black miller and white [[blacksmith]] are shocking in front of the [[God]].

* ''Muurari on rehellinen miäs, ei syä savia eikä varaasta tiiliä.'' (Lapua, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** The mason is an [[honest]] man, he doesn't [[eat]] mortar and does not [[steal]] [[bricks]].

* ''Myllärillä on riski sika, mutta en tiijä, kennen viljalla ruokittu.'' (Jämsä, Central Finland) (KRA)
** The miller has a fat [[pig]], but I've no [[idea]] by whose [[grain]] it is fed.

* ''Myrkkyä viina leivätä.'' (Parkano, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Poison]] is [[booze]] without [[bread]].

* ''Mänie kun suittitoin ori.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Went like a [[stallion]] without bridle.

* ''Mänie ninkun olis tulta takapuoles.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Went like having [[fire]] in the arse.

* ''Mää ihtees ja aattele.'' (Kuopio, Savonia) (KNM)
** Go into [[yourself]] and [[think]].

== N ==
* ''Naama kun Naantalin aurinko.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** [[Face]] like the [[sun]] of Naantali. (Naantali is one of the sunniest cities in Finland)

* ''Naama kun täyskuu.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Face like the full [[moon]].

* ''Naama on kun petolinnun perse.'' (Heinlahti, Karelia) (MSA)
** The face is like the arse of a bird of prey.

* ''Naama on niinku pakanamaan kartta.'' (Kurikka, Southern Bothnia) (EPP)
** The face is like the [[map]] of a [[pagan]] land.

* ''Naantalissa kaksi katua, toista kulkee sijat sateella, toista porvarit pouralla.'' (Hämeenkyrö, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Two streets in Naantali, on the other walk the [[pigs]] when it [[rain]]s, on the other the [[bourgeois]] people when it shines.

* ''Naapuri naapurin asumahan opettaa.'' (Laihia, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** The [[neighbor]] [[teach]]es the neighbor to live at [[home]].

* ''Naapurissa pittää käyvä seitsemä kertaa päiväs, ja viis kertaa vihassa ollessakkii.'' (Koivisto, Karelia) (KSJ)
** The neighbour has to be visited seven times a [[day]], and five times when in [[anger]].

* ''Nahkurin orsilla tavataan.'' ([[Väinö Linna]]: Tuntematon Sotilas)
** We'll meet at tanner's beams.

* ''Nainen on ihmisen paras ystävä''. (Mäntsälä, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** [[Woman]] is the [[human]]'s [[best]] [[friend]].

* ''Nainnu mies ei o hulluu paremp.'' (Iitti, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Married]] man ain't better than a fool.

* ''Naisen miel, koeran pier.'' (Liperi, Karelia) (KRA)
** Woman's [[mind]], [[dog]]'s fart.

* ''Naisen paikka on hellin ja nyrkin välis.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** Woman's place is between the stove and fist.

* ''Naisen tyä huamataan silloin kun se jää tekemätä.'' (Asikkala) (RRO)
** Woman's [[work]] is noticed when it's undone.

* ''Naiset ensin, sano ihimissyöjä.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Women first, said the man-[[eater]].

* ''Naiset rakastaa yksinkertaisia asioita, kuten miähiä.'' (Asikkala) (RRO)
** Women [[love]] [[simple]] things, like men.

* ''Naista ja moottoria ei tule koskaan täysin tuntemaan, sano Savolan Oskari.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** You'll never completely [[know]] the woman and the motor, said Oskari Savola.

* ''Ne on niin rakkaita, jotta tinanappi välissä sulaa.'' (Kaavi, Savonia) (MMT)
** They are so in love, that a tinbutton melts between.

* ''Nenä kuin Betlehemin portinpylväs.'' (Vilppula, Tavastia) (HMK)
** [[Nose]] like the [[gate]]'s pillar in [[Bethlehem]].

* ''Nero omi median, nai Demi Mooren.'' (Palindrome; Alivaltiosihteeri)
** The [[genius]] took the [[media]], married [[Demi Moore]].

* ''Nii hyää kaffia että se puhhuu yheksää kieltä.'' (Alatornio, Lapland) (KNM)
** So good [[coffee]] that it [[speaks]] nine [[Language|languages]].

* ''Nii o köykys ko kolme numero.'' (Karelia) (SMS)
** Hunched like [[number]] three.

* ''Nii on ko unest kyhätty.'' (Viipurin mlk., Karelia) (RRO)
** It's like made of a [[dream]].

* ''Niihä se kävi kun piispan tappo.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** It went like the [[killing]] of the [[bishop]].
** [[Henry (bishop of Finland)]]

* ''Niihä se pukkoo sinnuu ko hajuves lihapullaa.'' (Koivisto, Karelia) (NMM)
** It suits you like [[perfume]] a meatball.

* ''Niihän se on kum päätä kiveen tunkis.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** It's like cramming [[head]] into a [[stone]].

* ''Niin hiano, ette piaruansak kuule.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (SSP)
** So [[snob]] that he doesn't hear his fart.

* ''Niin kylymä kesä, n’ottei kasva ku kersat.'' (Seinäjoki, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** [[Summer]] so [[cold]], that only [[children]] [[grow]].

* ''Niin makaa, kuin petaa.''
** One [[sleep]]s like one makes his [[bed]].
** [[Actions]] have [[consequences]].
** English equivalent: As you sow, so shall you reap/You reap what you sow.  You've made your bed, now lie in it.
** {{cite book | last1 = Kara | title = Orvokkini tummasilmä | publisher = Marita Kaatrala | page = 150}}

* ''Niin meni kun tuhka tuuleen.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** It went like [[ashes]] to the [[wind]].

* ''Niin metsä vastaa kuin sinne huudetaan.''
** The [[forest]] [[answers]] in the same way one shouts at it.
** The proverb refers to the [[echo]] that the treeline produces
** English equivalent: As one calls into the forest, so it echoes back.
** {{cite book | last1 = Lehtinen | year = 2006 | title = Postcolonialism, multitude, and the politics of nature: on the changing geographies of the European north | publisher = University Press of America | page = x | isbn=1}}

* ''Niin muuttuu maailma, Eskoni.'' ([[Aleksis Kivi]]) (SSSK)
** So [[changes]] the [[world]], my Esko.

* ''Niin on hyvvää, että vie kielen mennessään.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** It's so good that it takes the [[tongue]] with it.

* ''Niin se meni kun kuumille kiville.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** So it went like on hot [[stones]]. ([[Water]] in sauna)

* ''No, jo se nyt myrkyn lykkäs.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Well, he/she really gave the [[poison]].

* ''No nyt on maalima lävellä ja kaikki ihimiset sen läven keskellä.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Well, now is the [[world]] at the hole and all the [[people]] in the middle of that hole.

* ''No sill om piessä muutakiin kun täitä.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Well, her/his [[head]] has something else than lice.

* ''Norjan silliä ja Suomen sälliä, niitä näkee joka satamassa''. (Pelkosenniemi, Lapland) (RRO)
** [[Norwegian]] herring and Finnish lads, those are seen at every harbour.

* ''Nousiaisiin naisiin.'' (Matti Inkinen)
** To Nousiainen into [[women]].

* ''Nukkuisa saa kaiken itelleen.'' (Raahe, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** While [[sleeping]] you'll get [[everything]] for [[yourself]].

* ''Nukkuu ku härski silli.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Sleeps like a rancid herring.

* ''Nukkuva ei tee syntii.'' (Ingria, Toksova) (KRA)
** The sleeping one does not [[sin]].

* ''Nuoren miehen mieli ja huhtikuun lumi.'' (Mänttä, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Young]] man's [[mind]] and [[April]]'s [[snow]].

* ''Nuoren miehen naimattoman elämä on tanssia''. ([[Aleksis Kivi]], Seitsemän veljestä) (SSSK)
** The [[life]] of a [[Youth|young]] unmarried man is [[dancing]].

* ''Nuorena vihta veännettävä.'' (Saarijärvi, Central Finland) (KRA)
** Whilst [[childhood]] the rod has to be bended.
** Notes: Good [[manners]] or other traits have to be [[taught]] at young [[age]].
** English equivalent: &quot;Bend the [[tree]] while it is young.&quot;

* ''Nuttu nurin, onni oikein.'' (Orimattila, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Tunic overturned, [[luck]] right.
** Translation: &quot;Inside out turned tunic, right way turns your luck.&quot;
** Notes: This is a common [[superstition]]. It is considered good luck if one completely [[innocent]]ly puts on ones shirt or coat inside out in [[error]] when [[dressing]] up. Should be noted that it is not considered valid if one does it [[conscious]]ly. The [[idea]] is perhaps that when one is doing things without being too self-conscious, [[instinct]]ively, things will go more smoothly.

* ''Nyrkki on laki, sano Savolan Ville.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** The fist is the [[law]], said Ville Savola.

* ''Nyt mennään eikä viijestoista päivä.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Now we'll go and not the fifteenth day.

* ''Nyt on elokuu ja minä olen viljaa.'' (Juice Leskinen, Syksyn sävel)
** It's August now and I am grain.

* ''Nytkö aika heiniä tuuva, kun lehmä jo kuollut on?'' (Viitasaari, Central Finland) (KRA)
** Is now the right [[time]] to bring hay, when the [[cow]] is already [[dead]]?

* ''Näin on nännit.'' (Vihti, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** So are the [[nipples]].

* ''Näkyy vain jäävuoren huippu''. (Pori, Satakunta) (RRO)
** Only the tip of an iceberg is seen.

* ''Nälkä ja uni on köyhän herkkuja.'' (Kärsämäki, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Hunger]] and [[sleep]] are [[poor]] man's goodies.

* ''Nälkä on hyvä kokki.'' (Vilppula, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Hunger is good [[cook]].

* ''Nälkähistä ei naurata.'' (Koivisto, Karelia) (KRA)
** The hungry [[man]] doesn't [[laugh]].

* ''Nätit flikat, kiltit tyttäret, mut mist ne pahat ämmät tule?'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** [[Pretty]] [[girls]], nice [[daughters]], but from where do the mean [[women]] come?

* ''Nätti ku sika pienenä.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** [[Pretty]] like a [[pig]] when little.

* ''Näytä mulle komia feministi, niin mä näytän sulle lapualaasen kommunistin.'' (Southern Bothnia) (EPV)
** Show me a [[beautiful]] [[feminist]], and I'll show you a [[communist]] from Lapua.

== O ==
* ''O häppemätönen ko ruattalainen taevam portil.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** Has no [[shame]] like a Swede at the [[gate]] of [[heaven]].

* ''Oes se kaanis, jos oes kaaluasa myöte suossa ja ämpärj piässä.'' (Polvijärvi, Karelia) (RRO)
** He/she would be [[beautiful]], if were up to neck in the swamp and a bucket on the [[head]].

* ''Oh hiljaa, kus mullep puhut!'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (KNM)
** Be [[quiet]] while [[talking]] to me!

* ''Ohal lupa kysyä, vaikkei vara ostaa.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** You have permission to [[ask]] 'though you can't afford to [[buy]].

* ''Oho! o hämäläisen anteiks pyyntö ja sian espuhe.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** Oho! is a Tavastian's [[apology]] and the preface of a [[pig]].

* ''Oikeen tuloo ittiänsä ikävä, sanoo Laihian flikka kun peilinsä särki.'' (Southern Bothnia) (JPK)
** I really miss [[myself]], said the [[girl]] from Laihia when she broke her [[mirror]].

* ''Oikei tulj suu hyvämakujseks ko sai haastaaksei siu kansais.'' (Karelia) (SMS)
** Really got my [[mouth]] [[taste]] good when I [[talk]]ed with you.

* ''Ojassa on juopon yökortteeri.'' (Jurva, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** In a ditch is the [[drunken]] man's motel.

* ''Ol makki ko mesirusina.'' (Mynämäki, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** Is sweet like [[honey]] raisin.
 
* ''Olem mää kauneempi sinuu enempi kun sää sikkaa.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** I'm more beautiful than you [[compare]]d to a [[pig]].

* ''Olen pääni vanki.'' ([[Jarno Pennanen]]) (SSSK)
** I'm the [[Prison|prisoner]] of my [[head]].

* ''Olenkos minä sama muija kun äskön kävin, sano Asikkalam muija kun toisest ovest samaan kauppaan tul uulestaa.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** Am I the same [[woman]] who just came in, said the woman from Asikkala when she had come through the other [[door]] to the same [[shop]].

* ''Olet kuin kukkain nokkosten keskel.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** You are like a [[flower]] in the middle of nettles.

* ''Olokaa pojat miehiä miesten joukossa, mutta susia koirain.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Be [[boys]] men among men but [[wolves]] among [[dogs]].

* ''Olut on niinkun tehhään, mut leipä on niinkun Jumala synnyttää.'' (Joroinen, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Beer]] is how it's done, but [[bread]] is like [[God]] gives [[birth]] to it.

* ''Oma apu, paras apu.'' (often without comma) (Hämeenlinna, Tavastia) (KRA)
** One's own [[help]] [is] the best help.
** Helping yourself is the best way to help yourself.
** English equivalent: [[Heaven]] helps those who help themselves.
** Meaning: When you're in [[trouble]], no one else but you can probably improve your situation at all or as well as you. Sometimes: When in trouble, everyone should first of all do their best to improve their situation by themselves.
** Source for meaning: {{cite book | last1 = Paczolay | first = Gyula | year = 1997 | title = European Proverbs in 55 languages | publisher = DeProverbio.com | page = 150 | pages = 527 | isbn = 1-875943-44-7}}
** {{cite book | last1 = Sanderson, Parviainen | year = 2004 | title = Oma apu paras apu | publisher = Harlequin}}

* ''Oma kehu haisee.'' (Hämeenkyrö, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Self-praise is no recommendation.'
** English equivalent: Don't blow your own horn.

* ''Oma maa mansikka, muu maa mustikka.'' (Hyvinkää, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** Other [[land]] blueberry; own land [[strawberry]].
** Translation: &quot;Foreign places are nice enough, but [[home]] is [[sweeter]].&quot;
** English equivalent: &quot;There's no place like home.&quot;

* ''Oma suu o likempänä ko kontin suu.'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Own [[mouth]] is closer than the mouth of your backpack.

* ''Oma tupa, oma lupa.'' (Naantali, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** &quot;Your own living room license.&quot;
** Translation: &quot;One's Own Cabin, One's Own [[Freedom]].&quot;
** Meaning: When you have your own [[property]], you are your own boss.

* ''Omat lapset hyvät lapset, lastellapset kultalapset.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Own [[children]] the good children, grandchildren the [[golden]] children.

* ''Omatunto kun torpan tunkio.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** [[Conscience]] like the dunghill of the [[house]].
** &quot;'''Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.'''&quot;
** H.L Mencken, ''A Mencken Chrestomathy'' (1949)

* ''Omena ei kauas puusta putoa.''
** English equivalent: The [[apple]] does not fall far from the [[tree]].
** Meaning: Children observe daily and — in their [[behaviour]] — often follow the [[example]] of their [[parents]].
** {{cite book | last1 = Strauss | first = Emanuel | edition = Volume 2 | year = 1994 | title = Dictionary of European proverbs | publisher = Routledge | page = 488 | pages = 2200 | isbn =0415096243}}
** Source for meaning: {{cite book | last1 = Paczolay | first = Gyula | year = 1997 | title = European Proverbs in 55 languages | publisher = DeProverbio.com | page = 259 | pages = 527 | isbn = 1-875943-44-7}}

* ''On ahlast ku maailmah tulles.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** It's tight like coming to the [[world]].

* ''On hampailla hyvä mieli, kun huulia naurattaa.'' (Kitee, Karelia) (KRA)
** The [[teeth]] are [[happy]] when the [[lips]] are [[laughing]].

* ''On hiljaa ku jumalankuva.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (SSP)
** Is [[quiet]] like a picture of god.

* ''On ikävää kum mustalaisel kirkos.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** [[Bored]] like a Gypsy in the [[church]].

* ''On juhulaa kun on juhulaa, paistas akka toinenki silakka!'' (Jalasjärvi, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** It's [[party]] when it's party, so, [[wife]], fry another herring!

* ''On juur kun Raision kirkon seinästä revästy piru.'' (Lempäälä, Tavastia) (KHM)
** Looks just like a [[devil]] ripped off the wall of the [[church]] of Raisio.
** English equivalent: &quot;Look like something the cat brought/dragged in.&quot;
** Source: http://igs.kirjastot.fi/fi-FI/iGS/kysymykset/kysymys.aspx?ID=0b438f4f-2a04-4988-8910-d704f9224b4d

* ''On kova raittiusmies: se koittaa juomal hävittiäv viinam maalimast.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Is a true [[temperance]] man: he tries to [[destroy]] the booze from the [[world]] by [[drinking]].

* ''On ku haulankaivajalt karannu.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** Looks like a runaway from the gravedigger.

* ''On ku härkä yhtä työtä varten.'' (Lapland) (SMS)
** Is like an ox for one job.

* ''On ku juosten kustu.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (RRO)
** Is like peed on the run.
** Notes: Used when something is done in a sloppy [[manner]].

* ''On ku kolomasti apinaa vaehettu ja joka kerta hävinnä.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** Is like having changed three times into an [[ape]] and lost every time.

* ''On kuin norsu posliinikaupassa.'' (Kestilä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Is like an [[elephant]] in the porcelain store.

* ''On kuin orpo piru hävitetyssä helvetissä''. (Kestilä) (KNM)
** Is like an orphan [[devil]] in devastated [[hell]].

* ''On kun olis seipiän nielly.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Is like having swallowed a pole.

* ''On kun olis yhlem miähen syännyj ja toista miälis.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Is like having [[eaten]] one man and wanting another.

* ''On kun sika satula seläs.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Is like a [[pig]] with saddle on its back.

* ''On kun ukkoser repimä pirurraato.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Looks like the devil's [[carcass]] ripped open by the thunderstorm.

* ''On känniss kun Ellun kana.'' (Tuulos, Tavastia) (KNM)
** Is [[Drunkenness|drunk]] like Ellu's [[Hen|hen]].

* ''On köyhä kun kirkor rotta.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Is poor like the [[rat]] of the [[church]].

* ''On lepakoita korvien välissä.'' (Helsinki, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Has bats between ears.

* ''On lihaa ko hautuumaassa, ei yhtä paljon mutta yhtä mätää.'' (Mäntsälä, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** There's [[flesh]] like in the [[graveyard]], not so much but as rotten.

* ''On lämmin kun äilen syli''. (Satakunta) (SMS)
** Is [[warm]] like [[mother]]'s lap.

* ''On niim pitkä ettei pieruaan kuule.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Is so long that doesn't hear his own fart.

* ''On niin kylmä, että kus kaarellej jäätyy.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It's so [[cold]] that pee freezes into a curve.

* ''On niin rakastunut, ettei kuule eikä nää mitään.'' (Mäntsälä, Uusimaa) (KNM)
** Is so in [[love]] that doesn't [[Hearing|hear]] or [[See|see]] anything.

* ''On niinku lutikan huokaus.'' (Polvijärvi, Karelia) (RRO)
** Is like the [[sigh]] of a bedbug.

* ''On nälkä, n’etta sualet huutaa.'' (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** So [[hungry]] that the intestines shout.

* ''On pantava jäitä hattuun.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (RRO)
** Must put ice in the [[hat]].

* ''On rauhaton kun ripulipotilas.'' (Iisalmen mlk., Savonia) (RRO)
** Is restless like a diarrhea patient.

* ''On sen verran rahhaa, ettei koirat kintulle kuse.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Got so much [[money]], that [[dogs]] won't piss on my [[feet]].

* ''On siinä muutakin mustaa, ei vain kärpäsen sontaa.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** There's something else [[black]], not only fly's shit.

* ''On synti ja häpeä, jos vieraan työssä hikoaa.'' (Järvenpää, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** It's a [[sin]] and [[shame]], if one sweats at [[working]] for a [[stranger]].

* ''On taottava silloin kun rauta on kuuma.''
** [[Iron]] must be forged when it is hot.
** English equivalent: Strike while the iron is hot.
** {{cite book|last=Sinnemäki|first=Maunu|title=Lentävien lauseiden sanakirja|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=xDohAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA334|year=1982|publisher=Otava|isbn=978-951-1-07029-0|page=334}}

* ''On vähäkin tyhjää parempi.''
** Little is better than [[nothing]].
** English equivalent: &quot;Better a lean jade than an empty halter.&quot;
** English equivalent: &quot;[[Beggars]] can't be [[choose]]rs.&quot;
** {{cite book | last1 = Schellbach-Kopra | year = 2011 | title = Zwei Finnen brauchen keinen Dolmetscher: Finnische Sprichwörter | publisher = Frank \&amp; Timme | page = 183 | isbn=1}}

* ''Onhan pirullakkiin ystäviä.'' (Hyppälä, Karelia) (MSA)
** The [[devil]] has [[friends]], too.

* ''Onnea ei saa ostamalla.'' (Kaavi, Savonia) (MMT)
** You can't buy luck.

* ''Onni miestä, jalat jänistä.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** [[Luck]] for man, [[feet]] for [[hare]].

* ''Onni on hukkaantunut jalokivi, jota muisti hioo.'' ([[Kaarlo Marjanen]]) (KNM)
** Luck is a lost [[jewel]] that [[memory]] grinds.

* ''Onni on miehen perämies.'' (Turtola, Lapland) (KRA)
** Luck is man's mate.

* ''Opeta ensin ittes, sittev vasta toista.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** [[Teach]] yourself first, after that another.

* ''Opitaan kantapään kautta.'' (Vantaa, Uusimaa) (KNM)
** [[Learning]] through the heel.

* ''Oppija ikä kaikki.'' (Taipalsaari, Karelia) (KRA)
** [To] [[learn]] [through] whole [[life]].
** English equivalent: &quot;Live and learn.&quot;

* ''Ota silmä kouraas ja kasso!'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Take the [[eye]] in the [[hand]] and look!

* ''Otetaan iisisti.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (RRO)
** Let's take it easy.

* ''Otetaan senkka nenästä.'' (Lapua, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Let's take the [[blood]] sedimentation from the [[nose]]. - [[Fighting]]

* ''Outahan pakkanen, vielä se kesäkin tuloo!'' (Liperi, Karelia) (KRA)
** Just [[wait]], frost, the [[summer]] will come!
** English equivalent: It is a long lane that has no turning.

== P ==
* ''Pa akka (lapsi/tyhmä) asialle, me itte perässä.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Send a [[wife]] ([[child]]/fool) to do your errands, go after yourself.
** Translation: &quot;You can't [[trust]] that a job will be done properly unless you do it yourself.&quot;
** Notes: Used to reprimand someone who has [[failed]] in something, usually not a child.
** English equivalent: &quot;Never send a [[boy]] to do a man's job.&quot;

* ''Paha saa palkkansa.''
** [[Evil]] will get its share(/pay).
** English equivalent: [[Harm]] watch is harm catch.
** {{cite book | last1 = Bolte, Krohn, Olrik, Tiedeakatemia, Sydow, Fellows | year = 1985 | title = FF Communications | publisher = Suomalainen Tiedeakatemia. | page = 187 | isbn=1}}

* ''Paha tie ja laiska hevoi.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Bad road and [[lazy]] [[horse]].

* ''Painu se Titanikkii.'' (Paltamo, Kainuu) (SPS)
** Even the [[Titanic]] sank.

* ''Pakko on mahtuu, ko häät on pietty.'' (Heinjoki, Karelia) (KRA)
** It has to go in 'cause we're [[married]].

* ''Paleltuu kuin kirppu hangelle.'' (Kestilä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Freezes like a [[flea]] on the [[snow]].

* ''Paljom porua ja vähäv villoja.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** A lot of [[crying]] and little wool.
** English ewuivalent: Great cry and little wool.

* ''Panen vastalauseen, sano hiiri kissalle.'' (Kainuu) (SMS)
** I [[protest]], said the [[mouse]] to the [[cat]].

* ''Panivat tulilangan perseeseen.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** They put fuse in the ass.

* ''Pannaan vahinko kiertämään.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (RRO)
** Let the mishap circulate.
** Notes: Used for example when one has been able to sell a worthless item on which one had earlier been fooled oneself into [[buying]]. A somewhat [[cynical]] [[sentiment]], which can however be used more lightheartedly of more trivial affairs.

* ''Pappi o ko tieviitta, näyttää jot mänkää tuon, mutt isse jääp siihe.'' (Antrea, Karelia) (KRA)
** [[Priest]] is like a signpost, shows where to go, but stays there himself.
** English equivalent: Bells call others but do not enter themselves.

* ''Paras on hyvän viholliin.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** The [[best]] is the [[enemy]] of the [[good]].
** English equivalentː The good is the enemy of the best. 

* ''Paras on kyllin hyvää.'' (Kiuruvesi, Savonia) (KSJ)
** The best is good enough.

* ''Paree vanahan parran alla, kun nuoren vallan alla.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Better under an old [[beard]] than under a young's rule.

* ''Paremp laiha sopu kun lihava riita.'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Better a bony agreement than a fat disagreement.
** Notes: A meager deal which both parties agree with is better than a good deal where the other party is left [[discontent]]. Don't make [[enemies]] when doing [[business]].

* ''Paremphan viina päässä kuin rumassa putelissa.'' (Joroinen, Savonia) (KRA)
** Better [[booze]] in the [[head]] than in an [[ugly]] bottle.

* ''Parempi karvas totuus kuin makea valhe.''
** Better a [[bitter]] [[truth]] than a [[sweet]] [[lie]].
** English equivalent:  An [[honest]] 'no' is better than an insincere 'yes'.
** {{cite book | last1 = Schellbach-Kopra | year = 2011 | title = Zwei Finnen brauchen keinen Dolmetscher: Finnische Sprichwörter | publisher = Frank \&amp; Timme | page = 188 | isbn=1}}

* ''Parempi kuunnella ku puhua.'' (Raahe, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Better [[listen]] than [[talk]].

* ''Parempi lainata kahta korvaa kuin yhtä kieltä.'' (Rantsila, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Better to [[borrow]] two ears than one [[tongue]].

* ''Parempi olla parjaamatta porsasta pientareella.'' (Kouvola, Kymenlaakso)
** Better not to [[insult]] the [[pig]] by the [[road]].

* ''Parempi on aikaa myyä ku ostaa.'' (Muonio, Lapland) (KRA)
** Better to [[sell]] than [[buy]] time.

* ''Parempi on mennä sateella kirkkoon, kun poulalla helvettiin.'' (Tuulos, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Better to go to [[church]] when it [[rain]]s than to [[hell]] when it shines.

* ''Parempi paha valheena.'' (Pielisjärvi, Karelia) (KRA)
** [[Evil]] is better as a lie.

* ''Parempi pyy pivossa ku kymmenen oksalla.'' (Kuivaniemi, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Better one hazel grouse in the bag, than ten on the branch.
** English equivalent: A [[bird]] in the [[hand]] is worth two in the bush.
** Meaning: Something you have for certain now is of more [[value]] than something better you may get, especially if you risk losing what you have in order to get it.
** Source for meaning of English equivalent: {{cite book|author=Martin H. Manser|title=The Facts on File Dictionary of Proverbs|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=fgaUQc8NbTYC|accessdate=29 July 2013|year=2007|publisher=Infobase Publishing|isbn=978-0-8160-6673-5|page=28}}
** {{cite book|author=András Dugonics|title=Magyar példa beszédek és jeles mondások|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=LbE_AAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=RA1-PA23|accessdate=29 July 2013|year=1820|publisher=Grünn Orbán|page=23}}
** {{cite book | last1 = Burger | year = 2007 | title = Phraseologie: Ein Internationales Handbuch Zeitgenössischer Forschung | publisher = W. de Gruyter | page = 749 | isbn=1}}

* ''Parempi tuttu paha kuin tuntematon hyvä.'' (Kuusamo, Northern Bothnia) (SPS)
** Better a known harm than an unknown benefit.
** English equivalent: Better the [[Devil]] you know.

* ''Parempi yksi kukka eläissä kun monta kukkaa haudalla.'' (Hollola) (RRO)
** Better one [[flower]] when living than many flowers on the [[grave]].

* ''Parempi yksi sana kuin yhdeksän.'' (Europaeus) (VKS)
** Better one [[word]] than nine.

* ''Parran alta löytie paraam mieheh.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The best man is found under the beard.

* ''Parree oma kaema kun vennon vieras.'' (Sotkamo, Kainuu) (KRA)
** Better own namesake than a completely [[stranger]].

* ''Parta kasvaa ja mies voi hyvi.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** [[Beard]] grows and the man is well.

* ''Paska eläväsä, mato kualleesa.'' (Oripää, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Shit in the living, [[worm]] in the dead.

* ''Paska on talonpojan kultaa.'' (Himanka, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Shit is [[peasant]]'s [[gold]].

* ''Pata kattilaa soimaa, musta kylki kummallakin.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (KRA)
** &quot;The pot reproaching the kettle, the side of both is [[black]].&quot;
** English equivalent: &quot;The pot calling the kettle black.&quot;
** &quot;Some hypocrites and seeming mortified men, that held down their heads, were like the little images that they place in the very bowing of the vaults of churches, that look as if they held up the church, but are but puppets.&quot;
** Attributed to Dr. Laud by Francis Bacon, ''Apothegms, No. 273'' (1674)

* ''Peili se pilaa hyvänkin miehen.'' (Kuhmo, Kainuu) (KRA)
** The [[mirror]] spoils even the [[good]] man.

* ''Penni on rahaa, kun on kaksi, niin jo heläjää.'' (Laihia, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Penny is [[money]], and when there's two it chinks.

* ''Perhosia mahassa.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (RRO)
** [[Butterflies]] in the belly. - Excitement

* ''Perse on aina takana.'' (Porthan) (VKS)
** The ass is always behind.

* ''Peätä joukko kaepoo.'' (Kiuruvesi, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Head]]'s what the gang [[need]]s.

* ''Pidä mölyt mahassa.'' (Ristijärvi, Kainuu) (KNM)
** Keep the [[noises]] in the stomach.

* ''Pie kieli keskel suudu!'' (Säämäjärvi, Karelia) (KNM)
** Keep the [[Tongues|tongue]] in the middle of the [[Mouths|mouth]]!

* ''Pienet sanat opettavat meitä tekemään, suuret peittämään tekomme.'' ([[Samuli Paronen]]) (KNM)
** Small [[words]] [[teach]] us to do, the big ones to [[hide]] our deeds.

* ''Pieni vale puhheen kaunistaa.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** A tiny [[lie]] makes the [[speech]] more [[beautiful]].
** English equivalent: A tale never loses in the telling.

* ''Pieniä on silhakat joulukaloiksi.'' (Pelkosenniemi, Lapland) (KRA)
** Herrings are quite small to be served at [[Christmas]] [[dinner]].
** Notes: [[Observing]] a lack of resources.

* ''Pieru on paskan postimies.'' (Viitasaari, Central Finland) (KRA)
** Fart is the postman of shit.

* ''Pihlaja ei kanna kahta taakkaa.'' (Hyvinkää, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** The rowan will not carry two loads.
** Notes: An adage expressing the [[superstition]] that one may [[predict]] how much [[snow]] the next [[winter]] will have, from the amount of berries on the rowan [[tree]].

* ''Piikana paha, piikain piikana pahempi.'' (Kullaa, Satakunta) (KRA)
** It's bad to be a housemaid, worser to be a housemaids' housemaid.

* ''Pikkunen ja nätti kuin taivaan napa.'' (Northern Bothnia) (SMS)
** Little and [[pretty]] like the [[heaven]]'s navel.

* ''Pikkupirut ovat pahiimmat helehvetisäki.'' (Simo, Lapland) (KRA)
** The little [[devils]] are the worst in [[hell]], too.

* ''Pilkka sattuu omaan nilkkaan.'' (Reisjärvi, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Mockery]] [[hurt]]s own ankle.

* ''Pimeä ei pure vaikka se vähän haistelee.'' (Kalajoki, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Darkness]] does not bite, it just sniffs a bit.

* ''Pimjäss on kaikki yhtä nätei.'' (Pusula, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** In the darkness all [[people]] are [[equally]] [[pretty]].

* ''Piru on hyvä taijemaalari.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** [[Devil]] is a good [[painter]].

* ''Piruhan köyhä on, kun ei sillä ole sielua.'' (Pylkönmäki, Central Finland) (KRA)
** The devil is [[poor]] for sure, 'cause it has no [[soul]].

* ''Pisara olin, / mereen tulin, / tahdon taas pisaraksi tulla.'' ([[Eino Leino]]) (SSSK)
** A drop I was, / came to the sea, / I want to become a drop again.

* ''Pistä vain totena liiviisǃ'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Just put it in your vest as a [[truth]]ǃ

* ''Piti tulla juristi ja tuomari, tulikin turisti ja juomari.'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** Should have become a [[jurist]] and judge, became a tourist and boozer.

* ''Pitkä itku ilon peräst.'' (Tuusula, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** Long [[cry]] after [[joy]].

* ''Pitkä ja kapea kuin valtion leipä.'' (Vihti, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Long and narrow like the state's [[bread]].

* ''Pitkä on oottavan aeka.'' (Sumiainen, Central Finland) (KRA)
** [[Time]] is long for the one who [[wait]]s.

* ''Pitää kiirutta, ninkun olis tuli hännän alla.'' (Tuulos, Tavastia) (KST)
** Hurries like having fire under the tail.

* ''Pitää olla kokoo ja näköö, jos täs mailmas tahtoo nählyks tulla.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** One must have size and look to be seen in this [[world]].

* ''Piä akka nuorena.'' (Paatene, Karelia) (KNM)
** Keep the [[wife]] [[Youth|young]].

* ''Piänenee kun pyy mailmanlopun elellä.'' (Tuulos) (KST)
** Gets smaller like a grouse before the [[end of the world]].

* ''Piäni kivi reen kaataa.'' (Sahalahti, Tavastia) (HSP)
** A small [[stone]] tips the sleigh over.

* ''Pohojanmaalla viisaus asuu vanahoos naisis, mutta miähis, niis on hulluus.'' (Southern Bothnia) (EPV)
** In Bothnia the [[wisdom]] lives in old [[women]], but men, they have [[madness]].

* ''Pois pois pollarin tieltä, pollar kulkie keskel tietä!'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Away away off the [[police]]'s way, the police goes middle of the [[road]]ǃ

* ''Politiikka on lupauksien taidetta.'' ([[V. A. Koskenniemi]]) (SSSK)
** [[Politics]] is [[art]] of [[promises]].

* ''Politiikka on sanojen hallitsemista.'' ([[Erno Paasilinna]]) (KNM)
** Politics is [[control]]ling [[words]].

* ''Porista ei pääse tappelemata eikä Tampereelta ilman muijaa.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (HSP)
** You can't get rid of Pori without [[fighting]] and of Tampere without a woman.

* ''Posket on ku Mooseksen perselihat.'' (Alajärvi, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** The cheeks are like arse flesh of [[Moses]].

* ''Puhhuu ulukopuolelta hampaijen.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** [[Speaks]] outside his [[teeth]].

* ''Puhtaus meitä erottaa, saasta yhdistää.'' ([[Samuli Paronen]]) (SSSK)
** [[Purity]] separates us, filth [[unites]].

* ''Puhtaus on pual ruakka.'' (Perniö, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** &quot;[[Cleanliness]] is half a [[meal]].&quot;
** Translation: &quot;Keeping yourself and your [[food]] clean, you'll get more from it.&quot;
** English equivalent: &quot;Cleanliness is next to [[godliness]].

* ''Puhuu mitä sylki suuhut tuo.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** [[Talk]]s what spit brings to [[mouth]].

* ''Puhuu ranskaa kuin englantilainen hevonen.'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** Speaks [[French]] like an English [[horse]].

* ''Puhuus sikakin saksaa, kun olis alhaanen huuli vähän piree.'' (Suuri Sitaattisanakirja. Toimittanut Jarkko Laine. Helsinki: Otava, 1989. ISBN 951-1-10961-8)
** Also the pig could speak German if it had a little longer lower lip.

* ''Punain kuh helvetim peräseinä.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** [[Red]] like the backwall of [[hell]].

* ''Punanen tupa ja perunamaa.'' (Kestilä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Red [[house]] and a potato patch.

* ''Punottaa kun paviaanin peppu kuutamolla.'' (Lahti, Tavastia) (RRO)
** Glows red like the [[baboon]]'s ass in the moonlight.

* ''Purevalla koiralla on rikkinäinen nahka.'' (Hartola, Tavastia) (KRA)
** The biting [[dog]] has broken skin.

* ''Puristaa ninko Jumala kerjäläist.'' (Satakunta) (KNM)
** Squeezes like [[God]] the [[beggar]].

* ''Puukkoo se on härmälääsen ystävä, sanoo Prännin Erkki.'' (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** Knife is the [[friend]] of the man of Härmä, said Erkki Pränni.

* ''Puukotoi miäs o ninko vitutoi huara.'' (Ulvila, Satakunta) (KRA)
** The man without knife is like a [[whore]] without cunt.

* ''Puuro on hamppattoma ruoka.'' (Uskela, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Porridge is [[food]] for the toothless.

* ''Puuseppää aina tarvitaan.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** A [[carpenter]] is always needed.

* ''Puuttuva rengas ihmisen ja apinan välillä olemme me.'' ([[Rolf Arnkil]]) (SSSK)
** The missing link between an [[ape]] and a [[human]] are we.

* ''Pyssäyttäkkää se mies, sillä on mun puukko seläsä!'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Stop that man, he's got my knife in the back!

* ''Pyörii kun pieru nahkahousussa.'' (Ähtäri) (KSJ)
** Rolls like a fart in [[leather]] [[trousers]].

* ''Päivällä on silmät, yöllä korvat.'' (Florinus) (VKS)
** [[Day]] has [[eyes]], [[night]] ears.

* ''Pää tulloo vetävän kätteen.'' (Heinlahti, Karelia) (MSA)
** The end comes to the [[hand]] of the puller.

* ''Pääskynen päivän lämmittää.'' (Askola, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** [[Swallow]] warms up the [[day]].

== R ==
* ''Raha auttaa helvetin porttiin saakka.'' (Oripää, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** [[Money]] helps 'till the [[gate]] of [[hell]].

* ''Raha meniä rahan luo.'' (Koski Hl., Tavastia) (KRA)
** Money goes to money.

* ''Raha puhuu ryssiä ja ryssä sanua että nietu.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** Money talks [[Russian]] and the Russian says &quot;njet&quot;.

* ''Raha tyttären naitta, vaikk olis silm keskell otta.'' (Mynämäki, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** The money marries the [[daughter]] even if she had an [[eye]] in the middle of forehead.

* ''Rahaa tulie ovist ja ikkunoist!'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Money comes in from [[doors]] and windows!

* ''Rahal silmii ei ole.'' (Ingria, Tyrö) (KRA)
** Money hasn't eyes.

* ''Rahalla saa ja hevosella pääsee.'' (Hauho, Tavastia) (KRA)
** With money one gets, with a [[horse]] one goes.
** Notes: This is a slightly ebullient phrase used to indicate that one is a person of no small means, and willing to pay the price.

* ''Rahat ja tavarat on pian juotu, mutta kerju sen on ko kestää.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (KRA)
** The money and [[fortune]] will be drunken up soon, but the [[begging]] goes on [[forever]].

* ''Raja se on raittiuvellakii.'' (Mikkeli, Savonia) (KRA)
** Even [[abstinence]] has its limit.

* ''Rakenna aina kuin tuomiokirkkoa.'' (KNM)
** Always build like a cathedral.

* ''Rakkaalla lapsella on monta nimeä.''
** A beloved [[child]] has many [[name]]s.
** {{cite book|author=Vaananen|title=Finnish Proverbs|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=Xny9R4_lrb0C|year=2012|publisher=Penfield Books|isbn=978-0-941016-73-5}}

* ''Rakkaus alkaa tuijotuksel.'' (Satakunta) (KNM)
** [[Love]] begins gazing.

* ''Rakkaus ei ruostu.'' (Ähtäri) (KNM)
** Love doesn't rust.

* ''Rakkaus ei tartte sanoja.'' (Raahe, Northern Bothnia) (KNM)
** Love doesn't need [[words]].

* ''Rakkaus on kuin sipuli: mitä pitemmälle kuorit, sitä enemmän itket.'' (Järvenpää, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Love is like an onion: the more you peel the more you [[cry]].

* ''Rakkaus on kun rotan häntä.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** Love is like the [[rat]]'s tail.

* ''Rakkaus on pelkkää painetta palleissa.'' (Negatiiviset nuoret)
** Love is just pressure in the balls.

* ''Rakkaus rumuuden peittää.'' (Isojoki, Southern Bothnia) (MMT)
** Love hides the [[ugliness]].

* ''Rakkaus silimät sokasoo, avioliitto silimät aukasoo.'' (Kiuruvesi, Savonia) (KRA)
** Love makes [[blind]], [[marriage]] opens eyes.

* ''Rakkautemma kuuma on kuin Rustarin marraskuu.'' (Rehupiikles, Jalasjärvi, Southern Bothnia)
** Our love is hot like [[November]] in Rustari.

* ''Rakkautemma on kaunis niinku märännys nauris.'' (Rehupiikles)
** Our love is [[beautiful]] like a rotten turnip.

* ''Rakkautemma sykkii niinku viikko takaperin tapettu lahana.'' (Rehupiikles)
** Our love beats like a bream killed one [[week]] ago.

* ''Rakkautta se vaan on, sano mies kum muija kirviel heitti.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It's only love, said the [[husband]] when [[wife]] threw an axe.

* ''Rapatessa roiskuu.'' (Lahti, Tavastia) (RRO)
** There will be splatter when mortar is spread.
** Notes: Mishaps happen when you [[work]], it is in the nature of things.
** English equivalent: &quot;Shit happens&quot; or &quot;You can't make an omelette without breaking [[eggs]].&quot;

* ''Raskas tyä vaatii raskaat huvikki.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Hard [[work]] demands hard [[amusement]]s.

* ''Rauha maassa ja Molotohvi Moskovassa.'' (Muuruvesi, Savonia) (RRO)
** [[Peace]] on [[earth]] and [[Molotov]] in [[Moscow]].

* ''Ravatti ei reisiä lämmitä.'' (Tuusniemi, Savonia) (KNM)
** A necktie doesn't warm up thighs.

* ''Reheline koer ai katto päi silmi.'' (Mynämäki, Varsinais-Suomi) (KNM)
** An honest [[Dogs|dog]] always [[looks]] in the [[eyes]].

* ''Rehellisyys maam perii.'' (Hollola) (KNM)
** [[Honesty]] [[inherits]] the land.

* ''Reisuss om monta mutkaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The [[journey]] has many curves.

* ''Revontuli on lappalaisen yövalkea.'' (Muonio, Lapland) (MMT)
** Northern lights is the Laplander's [[night]] [[light]].

* ''Rikas pestäär rahalla, köyhä hiellä.'' (Suoniemi) (KRA)
** The [[rich]] is washed with [[money]], the [[poor]] with sweat.

* ''Rikastumiist nuorellep parillet tietie, jos hiäpäivänä sataa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It means riches to the young couple if it [[rains]] on the [[wedding]] day.

* ''Rikkaan miähen vitsit on aina hauskoja.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (KNM)
** The [[jokes]] of a [[rich]] man are always funny.

* ''Rikkaat aina ens apua saa.'' (Suoniemi) (KNM)
** The rich always get [[help]] first.

* ''Rikkautesav voi salata, mut köyhyyttiän ei voi.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** You can hide your wealth, but you can't hide poverty.

* ''Ripotelkaa tuhkani Kyrönjokeen.''  (Klamydia)
** Sprinkle my [[ashes]] to the Kyrönjoki-river.

* ''Rohkeutta ei voi oppia''. ([[Erno Paasilinna]]) (KNM)
** You can't [[Learning|learn]] [[courage]].

* ''Rohkia rokan syöp, kainu ei saa kaaliakkaan.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** A [[brave]] man eats the soup, a [[shy]] won't even get cabbage.
** Notes: Used to [[motivate]] someone to do a certain thing.

* ''Roskaa or raha onner rinnal.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Trash is the [[money]] compared to [[happiness]].
** English equivalent: Wealth rarely brings happiness. 

* ''Ruati raut, Riika hamp, Engliska teräkalu ja Kemin kalavere ja Liminga niitu ja Ryssän kull ovap parha mailmas.'' (Pyhäranta) (KRA)
** Swedish [[iron]], [[hemp]] of Riga, English tools and [[fish]] waters of Kemi and the meadows of Liminka and Russian gold are the best in the [[world]].

* ''Rukkiista se paras leipä tullee.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** The best [[bread]] is made of rye.

* ''Ryssä on elukois lähempänä ihmiist.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** A [[Russian]] is next to [[human]] of the [[animals]].

* ''Ryssä on ryssä, vaikka sen voisa paistais.'' (Rymättylä, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** A Russian is a Russian even if fried with butter.

* ''Ryssän &quot;kohta&quot; on kolme vuatta.'' (Isokyrö, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** A Russian's &quot;soon&quot; is three [[year]]s.

* ''Ryyppy tekkee miehen toiseks, ja toinenkin mies tahtoo ryypyn.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** A drink makes the man a new man, and this man wants a drink also.

* ''Ryypyn saat ryypätä a kaks on saatanan oppi.'' (Ingria, Tyrö) (KRA)
** You may drink one [[drink]], but the second is from [[Satan]].

* ''Räkänokasta mies tulee eikä tyhjän naurajasta.'' (Hailuoto, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** A snotnose may grow up to be a man; but he who [[laugh]]s without [[cause]], never.
** Translation: The mocked may grow up to [[dignity]], but the mocker will never outgrow his juvenile behaviour.

== S ==
* ''Saapas näkkee, mitä suutari tekkee.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** The boot sees what the [[shoemaker]] is doing.

* ''Saat mennä niin pitkälle kun pippuri kasvaa.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** You may go as far as pepper grows.

* ''Saattaa se akka purra, vaikka ei olisi hampaitakaan.'' (Kärsämäki, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** The [[woman]] may bite even without [[teeth]].

* ''Sadan kilon keijukainen.'' (Espoo, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** A [[fairy]] with one hundred kilos.

* ''Sairaus on ystävyylen puntari.'' (Kangasala, Tavastia) (KSJ)
** [[Illness]] is the steelyard of [[friendship]].

* ''Sakeamp ov ver kuv ves.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** [[Blood]] is thicker than [[water]].

* ''Sama jos muurille puhus.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** It's the same as [[talking]] to the wall.

* ''Sama se on saunalle, vaikka riihi pallaa.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** It's the same to the sauna if the drying barn [[burns]].

* ''Sammuttamalla lampun saa valaisevan esimerkin pimeydestä.'' (Olli) (Suuri Sitaattisanakirja. Toimittanut Jarkko Laine. Helsinki: Otava, 1989. ISBN 951-1-10961-8)
** By switching off the lamp you'll get an enlightening [[example]] of [[darkness]].

* ''San ny yks makja sana, sanos poik. – Siirap, vastas flikk.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** Say now one [[sweet]] [[word]], said the boy. - Molasses, [[answered]] the girl.

* ''Sanasta miestä, sarvesta härkää.'' (Vimpeli, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** A man by his [[word]], an [[ox]] by its horn.

* ''Sanoks sä jotaiv vai tuulkos si huulias heiluttelie?'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** Do you [[say]] something or is the [[wind]] wiggling your [[lips]]?

* ''Sanomata jäänt sana riian lopettaa.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** The unspoken word will end the quarrel.

* ''Sanottu sana hopeaa, sanomaton kultaa.'' (Salmi, Karelia) (MMT)
** Spoken word [[silver]], unspoken [[gold]].
** English equivalentː Speech is silver; silence is golden.

* ''Santerille sakot ja vainaja linnaan, sano Santeri.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Fine for Santeri and the [[dead]] to [[jail]], said Santeri.

* ''Sattuuhan sit paremmiskin perheis.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It happens in the better [[families]], too.

* ''Sauna ilman vihtaa on kuin häät ilman morsiainta.'' (Sammatti, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Sauna without [[birch]] switch is like a [[wedding]] without bride.

* ''Sauna köyhän apteeki.'' (Teuva, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Sauna is the [[poor]] man's drugstore.

* ''Saunas täytty olla ku kirkos.'' (Kisko, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** In sauna you must behave like in [[church]].

* ''Se elleä niiko viimestä päiveä ja senkii niiko iltapuolta.'' (Sakkola, Karelia) (NMM)
** He lives like the last [[day]] and even the [[evening]] of it.

* ''Se ensin tehhään, mikä vähimmin auttaa.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** That's done first what [[Help|helps]] least.

* ''Se koira älähtää, mihin kalikka kalahtaa.'' (Säkkijärvi) (MSA)
** The [[dog]] will howl, which is hit by the stick.
** Notes: Used, when someone reacts to accuses that were not directed against this person in particular.
** English equivalent: &quot;If the [[shoe]] fits, wear it.&quot; or &quot;The [[lady]] doth [[protest]] too much.&quot;

* ''Se kulukee valeen kengissä.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** He walks in the [[shoes]] of lies.

* ''Se loppuu lyhyeen kun kanan laulu.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** It ends quickly like the [[hen]]'s [[singing]].

* ''Se men sit tietä kum pitkäks sanotaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** He took the [[road]] called long.

* ''Se mies ken mastossa, hätähousu kannella.'' (Lavansaari, Karelia) (KRA)
** The [[man]] in mast, the [[hasty]] on deck.

* ''Se olj hyvä mies elläessä, viela paremp kuoltuvaa.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** He was a [[good]] man [[alive]], even better [[dead]].
* ''La satire ment sur les gens de lettres pendant leur vie, et l'éloge ment après leur mort.''
** &quot;[[Satire]] lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die.&quot;
** [[Voltaire]], ''Lettre à Bordes'' (10 January 1769).

* ''Se om mammav villakopas kasvannu.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** He has [[grown]] in mom's wool basket.

* ''Se on hiljaa kun käki talvel.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** He's [[quiet]] like the [[cuckoo]] in [[winter]].

* ''Se on huono isä, joka ei tee parempaa poikaa kun on ihte.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** He's a lousy [[father]] who doesn't make a better [[son]] than himself.

* ''Se on ku hyttöspaska Itämeres.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** It's like mosquito's shit in the Baltic Sea.

* ''Se on kun sulaa voita ja kermaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It's like melted butter and cream.

* ''Se on köyhyylem merkki kur raha loppuu, sano Hollolan ukko.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** It's the [[sign]] of [[poverty]] when there's no [[money]], said the [[old]] man from Hollola.

* ''Se on lujassa kun perisynti.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** It's stuck like [[original sin]].

* ''Se on nin kirkkaan valkoin kun enkelin omatunto.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** It's so bright white like the [[conscience]] of an [[angel]].

* ''Se on saanu nikkelihalvauksen.'' (Mynämäki, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** He's got a nickel paralysis.

* ''Se on suoraan sanottu eikä makeiltu.'' (Alajärvi, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** It's said straight and not talked sweet.

* ''Se on turhaa komeutta, että työmiehell on kaks silmää.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It's too [[beautiful]] that the workingman has two [[eyes]].

* ''Se on vanha Härmän laki, josta ei tykätä, se tapethan''. (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** It's the old [[law]] of Härmä, the one you don't like will be [[killed]].

* ''Se on veren vika, jos miäs vapisoo.'' (Seinäjoki, Southern Bothnia) (RRO)
** It's [[blood]]'s [[fault]] if the man shivers.

* ''Se parraiten nauraa, kuka viimeks nauraa.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Who [[laughs]] last, will have the best [[laugh]].

* ''Se räijäytti pankin.'' (Ristiina, Savonia) (KNM)
** He blew up the [[bank]].

* ''Se se kauheeta on, ku äly lähtee ja pää jää.'' (Nokia, Tavastia) (KNM)
** That's terrible when [[intelligence]] goes and the [[head]] stays.

* ''Se se vasta oekee vale on, jota kaekki uskoo.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** That's a true lie that all [[believe]].

* ''Se tietie pahaa kun näkie unta hopeast.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It means bad when you [[dream]] about [[silver]].

* ''Se vasta kala oj joka kaukaa tuolaa.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** That's the [[fish]] that's brought from far.

* ''Se vasta mies on, jota vaimmo sekä pelekää että rakastaa.'' (Satakunta) (SMS)
** That's the man whom the [[wife]] both [[fears]] and [[loves]].

* ''Se voidaan laskea sirkkelimiehen yhden käden sormilla.'' (Espoo, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** It can be counted up by the hand of a circleman.

* ''See äi oo kova jehu, se kiro viäl vanhanaki.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** That man is a tough guy, he [[swear]]s even as [[old]].

* ''Sehän nym menie vaikka kissar ristiäisii.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** He/she would go even to the christening of a [[cat]].

* ''Sehän sopii kuin kolmetoista tusinaan.'' (Vantaa, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** It fits like thirteen into dozen.

* ''Seinilläkin on korvat ja metsillä silmät.'' (Vilppula, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Walls]] have ears and [[forest]]s eyes.
** English equivalent: [[fields]] have eyes, and woods have ears.

* ''Seisoo kun aaves kuutamolla.'' (Alahärmä, Southern Bothnia) (KSJ)
** Stands like a [[ghost]] in the moonlight.

* ''Seisoo niinku kyrpä häisä.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (SSP)
** Stands like dick at the [[wedding]].

* ''Seisuo kum puujumala.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** Stands like wooden [[God]].

* ''Selkäranka on kun lapamato.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** The spine is like a tapeworm.

* ''Sellasia poikia ei kasva joka oksalla.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** That kind of boys don't [[grow]] on every branch.

* ''Sen on käynnyp pillu pieneks kun sären silmä.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Her cunt has changed as little as roach's eye.

* ''Sen viina tekkee, mitä kalja ei tiäläkkän''. (Kangasala, Tavastia) (KNM)
** [[Booze]] makes what [[beer]] doesn't [[Knowledge|know]].

* ''Sian loppu on makkaran alku.'' (Hiitola, Karelia) (HMK)
** The [[end]] of a pig is the beginning of a sausage.

* ''Sian omistajat: Simo nais ne siat tai sen sian omistajat Simo nais.'' (Palindrome, Alivaltiosihteeri)
** [[Pigs|Pig]] owners: Simo would marry those pigs or Simo would marry the owners of that pig.

* ''Siel ollaan kaikki yhtäläisie, sano haulankaivaja.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** There we are all [[equal]], said the gravedigger.

* ''Siell on ku herran kukkaros.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** There's like in the Lord's clover.

* ''Siellä hyvä missei meitä.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** There's good where we aren't.

* ''Siellä on kirppuja, luteita, täitä, seassa lapsia pellavapäitä.'' (Hämeenlinna, Tavastia; Vexi Salmi)
** There are fleas, bedbugs, lice, among flaxen-haired [[children]].

* ''Siellä silmä, missä kulta.'' (Koski Hl., Tavastia) (KRA)
** There's the [[eye]], where's the [[gold]].

* ''Sieltähän tullee puhetta kun kopasta ja joka reijästä.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** From there comes [[talk]] like from box and every hole.

* ''Sienet on herroille ja marjat on linnuille.'' (Hartola, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Mushroom]]s are for [[master]]s and berries for [[birds]].

* ''Siin mies, mis mainitaan.'' (Savitaipale, Karelia) (KRA)
** There's the man where mentioned.

* ''Siin ne kattel toisiaan kun Mustanmäjen kissat kalasoppaa vartuissans.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** There they stared each other like the [[cats]] of Mustamäki [[waiting]] for the [[fish]] soup.

* ''Siin on kans yks Jumalam mielharmi.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** There's one of God's favourite [[harm]]s.

* ''Siinä on kielletyn hedelmän maku''. (Kestilä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** It has the taste of the forbidden [[fruit]].
** English equivalentː Forbidden fruit is sweet.

* ''Siinä paha kussa mainitaan.'' (Kempele, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** There's evil where mentioned.

* ''Siitä puhe, mistä puute.'' (Orimattila, Tavastia) (KRA)
** One [[talks]] about what one does not have.

* ''Siitä tiäthän, jotta Laihialla olhan, kun on vessapaperia pyykkinarulla kuivamas.'' (Southern Bothnia) (JPK)
** You [[know]] you're in Laihia when toilet papers are drying on the clotheslines.

* ''Sika ja akka ovat kesyimmät kotieläimet.'' (Iisalmi, Savonia) (KNM)
** [[Pigs|Pig]] and [[wife]] are the tamest domestic [[animals]].

* ''Sika on köyhän seästöpankki.'' (Sotkamo, Kainuu) (KRA)
** Pig is the [[poor]] [[man]]'s [[bank]].

* ''Sikakin tuntee ruokkijansa, mutta ei häjy ihimine.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Even pig knows its [[feed]]er but a mean man not.

* ''Silimä herra, mieli kuningas.'' (Sotkamo) (KRA)
** [[Eye]] the master, [[mind]] the [[king]].

* ''Sill ei onnee, jolla ei kovvoo syöntä.'' (Sotkamo) (KRA)
** The one who hasn't [[cold]] [[heart]] hasn't [[luck]].

* ''Sill oj jokiir ruuvvi löysäl.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** He's got a screw loose.

* ''Sill oj järki terävä kum partaveitti.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** His/her sense is sharp as a razor.

* ''Sillä on peukalo keskellä kämmentä.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** His/her thumb is the middle of the palm of [[hand]].
** English equivalent: He's all thumbs.

* ''Silmistä sielu paistaa.'' (Iisalmi, Savonia) (KSJ)
** From [[eyes]] the soul shines.

* ''Silmät on ko taivaan tähdet, ei yhtä kirkkaat, mutta yhtä kaukana toisistaan.'' (Lammi, Tavastia) (RRO)
** The eyes are like [[stars]] of the [[sky]], not so [[bright]], but as far away from each other.

* ''Silmät on kuin tomaatit.'' (Vihti, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** The eyes are like tomatoes.

* ''Simo ol sillon sillan alla kun muita poikia muokattiin.'' (Säkkijärvi) (MSA)
** Simo was under the [[bridge]] when other boys were revised.

* ''Sinusta ei huoli kukkaan, eikä minusta huoli kukkaan, niin eikö me mennä yhteen?'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** Nobody [[cares]] about you and nobody cares about me, so why not join together?

* ''Sinä herra, minä herra, kuka meistä pussin kantaa?'' (Pirkkala, Tavastia) (KRA)
** You are a [[lord]], I am a lord, so who's gonna carry that bag?

* ''Sisua se on Nasku-Heikilläkin, ei tule esiin sängyn alta, vaikka akkansa komentaa.'' (Kärsämäki, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Nasku-Heikki has guts: he stays under the [[bed]], 'though the wife [[command]]s.

* ''Sitä ei tee isäsä tappajakaan.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Even a [[father]]'s [[killer]] won't do that.

* ''Sitä niittää mitä kylvää.''
** You reap what you sow.
** English equivalent: As ye sow shall ye reap.
** {{cite book | last1 = Olesen | year = 2004 | title = The Cold War and the Nordic countries: historiography at a crossroads | publisher = University Press of Southern Denmark | page = 76 | isbn=1}}

* ''Sitä saap aina essiä kissoin ja koiriin kans.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** You must [[always]] [[search]] her/him with [[cat]]s and [[dog]]s.

* ''Sitä venettä souvvettava on missä on sisässä.'' (Kangasniemi, Savonia) (KRA)
** You must row the [[boat]] you're in.

* ''Sitä viina tekee kunei kalja tiäräkkä.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** [[Booze]] does what [[beer]] doesn't [[know]].

* ''Sivistynt naine ei naura, hää hymmyilöö.'' (Viipuri, Karelia) (RRO)
** A cultivated [[lady]] doesn't [[laugh]], she [[smiles]].

* ''Soitto on suruista tehty.'' (KHM)
** [[Music]] is made of [[sorrow]]s.

* ''Sosialismi. Voiton marximointia.'' (Seppo Ahti = Bisquit) (SSSK)
** [[Socialism]]. [[Marx]]imizing the [[profit]].

* ''Sotakylä Utti: vittu, äly katos!'' (Kouvola, Kymenlaakso) (Palindrome)
** [[War]] camp Utti: oh shit, my [[intelligence]] [[disappear]]ed!

* ''Sotamies ei moiti lepoaan.'' (Pomarkku, Satakunta) (KRA)
** A [[Soldier]] doesn't [[blame]] his [[rest]].

* ''Suitset hevojsel, kurj akall.'' (Karelia) (SMS)
** Bridle for [[horse]], [[discipline]] for [[wife]].

* ''Suksi suolle!'' (Kouvola, Kymenlaakso) (RRO)
** Ski to the swamp!

* ''Suku tulloo, toinen männöö, mua pyssyy kohallaan.'' (Valtimo, Karelia) (KRA)
** One [[generation]] comes, another goes, the world remains.

* ''Sukulainen on pahempi sutta.'' (Viipuri, Karelia) (KRA)
** A relative is worse than a [[wolf]].

* ''Summanmutikassa kun karstulaiset Amerikkaan.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** At random like the people from Karstula to America.

* ''Sumu on hylykeen pierua.'' (Raahe, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** Fog is seal's fart.

* ''Suola ruoan kunnia.'' (Varkaus, Savonia) (KRA)
** Salt is the [[honour]] of [[food]].

* ''Suomalainen ei usko koittamatta.'' (Keitele, Savonia) (KRA)
** A Finn does not [[believe]] without [[try]]ing.

* ''Suomalainen talonpoika on parempi kuin herra.'' (Vehmaa, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** A Finnish [[peasant]] is better than the landlord.

* ''Suomen kesä se on kaunis mutta vähäluminen.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** The [[summer]] of [[Finland]] is [[beautiful]] but has small amount of [[snow]].

* ''Suomi on syvä uni.'' (Erno Paasilinna)
** Finland is deep [[sleep]].
** Suuri Sitaattisanakirja. Toimittanut Jarkko Laine. Helsinki: Otava, 1989. ISBN 951-1-10961-8

* ''Surkohon hevonen, sill on pitkä pää.'' (Parkano, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Let the horse do the [[worry]]ing, it has a long [[head]].

* ''Surmaa uusi lumi vanhalle.'' (Sodankylä, Lapland) (KRA)
** New [[snow]] means [[death]] to old snow.

* ''Suu säkkiä myöten.'' (Ahlainen, Satakunta) (KRA)
** [[Adjust]] the [[mouth]] in accordance with the bag.
** English equivalent: &quot;Don't bite off more than you can chew.&quot;

* ''Suu valehtelee, silmät puhuvat totta.''
** Translation: The mouth lies, but the [[eyes]] tell the [[truth]].
** {{cite book | last1 = Schellbach-Kopra | year = 2011 | title = Zwei Finnen brauchen keinen Dolmetscher: Finnische Sprichwörter | publisher = Frank \&amp; Timme | page = 217}}

* ''Suuhun hevosta kattotaan ja ämmää silmiin.'' (Satakunta) (SMS)
** The [[horse]] is [[looked]] in the [[mouth]] and the [[woman]] in the eyes.

* ''Suun kans on helppo tehä mitä vaan.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** With the mouth it's easy to do [[everything]].

* ''Suun kautta mieli haisee.'' (Pielinen, Karelia) (KRA)
** [[Mind]] smells through mouth.

* ''Suur se on kala toisen venneessä.'' (Kiihtelysvaara, Karelia) (KRA)
** Big is the [[fish]] in another's [[boat]].

* ''Suus kii Topias kyl tohtor se paremi tietä et sä kuollu ole.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** Shut up Topias the [[doctor]] [[knows]] better that you ain't [[dead]].

* ''Suus pittää olla lukko.'' (Koivisto, Karelia) (RRO)
** The mouth must have a [[lock]].

* ''Suuta korviin ja mahaa poloviin, kun rikkaan ruokaa syää!'' (Töysä, Southern Bothia) (KRA)
** [[Mouth]] to ears and the stomach to knees when you [[eat]] [[rich]] man's [[food]]!

* ''Suutarin akka ja sepän hevonen on aina huonossa kengässä.''
** Translation and English equivalent: The [[wife]] of the cobbler and the [[horse]] of the smith always have bad [[shoes]].
** Meaning: [[Working]] hard for others one may neglect one's own [[needs]] or the needs of those closest to him.
** Source for meaning and proverbs: {{cite book|last=Paczolay|first=Gyula |title=European proverbs: in 55 languages, with equivalents in Arabic, Persian, Sanskrit, Chinese and Japanese|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=JiXzAAAAMAAJ|year=1997|publisher=Veszprémi Nyomda|isbn=1-875943-44-7|page=65|chapter=7}}

* ''Suuttua suap, vua ei olla äessään.'' (Pielavesi, Savonia) (KRA)
** It's okay to get mad, but one shouldn't stay [[angry]].

* ''Suvea Vapusta, hellettä helluntaista.'' (Hattula, Tavastia) (HSP)
** [[Summer]] from the May Day, heat from the Whitsun.

* ''Svengaa ku tuhat hirveä ja yksi susi.'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (RRO)
** Swings like one thousand elk and one [[wolf]].

* ''Sydän kivestä ja koura rautainen, ne täällä ovat parhaat edut.'' ([[Aleksis Kivi]]) (SSSK)
** [[Heart]] of [[stone]] and the [[iron]] clutch, they are the best [[benefits]] here.

* ''Syntyjesä kualema lähinnä.'' (Suoniemi) (KNM)
** When born the [[death]] nearest.

* ''Syntyy kun sieniä satteella.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** [[Born]] like [[mushroom]]s in the [[rain]].

* ''Syy hyökätä: köyhyys.'' (Alivaltiosihteeri, Tampere; palindrome)
** [[Reason]] to attack: [[poverty]].

* ''Syä ku susi.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (SSP)
** [[Eats]] like a [[wolf]].

* ''Syönpä vaikka pieniä kiviä nyt.'' ([[Aleksis Kivi]]) (SSSK)
** I'll eat even little [[stones]] now.

* ''Syöttiä pajuköyttä.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Feeding willow rope. - (Is [[lying]])

* ''Syötä lehmää, syöt itseki!'' (Lavansaari, Karelia) (KRA)
** [[Feed]] the [[cow]], feed yourself!

* ''Sänky lähettiä terveisiä.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The [[bed]] sent [[greetings]].

* ''Sääli on sairautta.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia)
** [[Pity]] is an [[illness]].
** Notes: This is often said when somebody is trying to elicit pity and consolation from others when help is not really needed. A person feeling self pity is often portraying him/herself as sicker/worse off than he/she is or is reacting to common and shared misfortunes (e.g. catching a cold) as if his/her case is much worse than the average case and therefore deserving a special treatment.

* ''Söishän kissakiin kaloja muttei kastelis käpäliijjään.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** English equivalent: All cats love [[fish]], but hate to get their paws wet.

== T ==
* ''Taakka raha, rakkaat!'' (Risto Rekola: Ikävää, väki? ISBN 978-952-235-894-3; [[palindrome]])
** Burden the [[money]], dearly [[loved]]!

* ''Tahtuo olla yksin kukkona tunkijol.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Wants to be the only [[rooster]] of the dunghill.

* ''Taisi mennä pupu pöksyyn.'' (Kouvola, Kymenlaakso) (RRO)
** Looks like a bunny went in your trousers. - [[Fear]]

* ''Talvell on talven tavat.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** [[Winter]] has winter's [[manners]].

* ''Tanssii kuin parkettien partaveitsi.'' (Järvenpää, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** [[Dances]] like the razor of the parquet floors.

* ''Tapaturmaset piarut pittää yskällä sekotettaman.'' (Pöytyä, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** [[Accident]]al farts must be [[hidden]] by coughing.

* ''Tapella saap muttei raapiaǃ'' (Sirkjärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** You may [[fight]] but not scratchǃ

* ''Tapellen kissa poikia tekkee.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** [[Cat]] makes [[kitten]]s fighting.

* ''Tappelu alkaa tavallissee aikaa.'' (Koivisto, Karelia) (KNM)
** The fight [[begins]] on the usual [[time]].

* ''Tee hyvin mitä teet, tai elä tee ollenkaan.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Do well what you do, or don't do at all.
** English equivslent: If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well.

* ''Tehkää niin kun isäntä sannoo, eikä niin kun hyvä tulis.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Do what the master tells and not what would be good.

* ''Teki herran muttei muistanu persettä tervata.'' (Lapland) (SMS)
** Made the master but didn't [[remember]] to tar his ass.

* ''Tekijä työnsä tietää ja kusija kullinsa näkee.'' (Kuorevesi, Central Finland) (KRA)
** The worker [[knows]] his [[work]] and the pisser [[sees]] his dick.

* ''Tervem mies se hikoaa ja haisie.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** The [[healthy]] man sweats and smells.

* ''Terveys on kultuakii kalliimp.'' (Rautu, Karelia) (KSJ)
** [[Health]] is even more expensive than [[gold]].

* ''There aren't enough [[swear]]-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my [[disgust]] and frustration with this crap.'' ([[Linus Torvalds]], LKML, 2013-08-13)

* ''Tieto lisää tuskaa.'' (Vantaa, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** [[Knowledge]] increases [[agony]].

* ''Tikku silimään, joka vanhoja muisteloo.'' (Vaasa, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** A stick in the [[eye]] to the one who keeps on looking back old happenings.

* ''Tiällähään ny om mespata teitille''. (Hollola) (PLK)
** Here's the honeypot for you now.

* ''Toinen käsi ei tiedä, mitä toinen tekee, mutta toinen käsi tietää hyvin, mitä toinen tekee.'' ([[Veijo Meri]]) (SSSK)
** The other [[hand]] doesn't know what the other does, but the other hand knows well what the other does.

* ''Toinen nyrkki viä sairaalaj ja tää toinev viä hautausmaalle.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The other fist takes to the hospital and this other takes to the [[graveyard]].

* ''Toinen on mäki ja toinen on vuori, eikä kumpikaan kumarra.'' (Isokyrö, Southern Bothnia) (MMT)
** The other is a [[Hills|hill]], the other is a [[Mountains|mountain]], and neither bows.

* ''Toise hevoij ja oma piiska.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Another's [[horse]] and own whip.

* ''Toisem persiel o hyvä tulell istua.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It's good to sit on the [[fire]] with somebody else's arse.

* ''Toises taskuss or reikä eikä toiseskan om mitiä.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** There's a hole in the other [[pocket]] and there is nothing in the other either.

* ''Toisii jo nailah, minuu ei viäl narratakkaan.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** The others are already [[marry]]ing, I won't be fooled yet.

* ''Toivos on hyvä elää.'' (Nummi, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** It's good to live in [[hope]].

* ''Totinen ko kissa paskalla.'' (Suoniemi, Tavastia) (SSP)
** Serious like a shitting [[cat]].

* ''Totinen kuin torvensoittaja.'' (Vihti, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Serious like a horn player.

* ''Totta puhuap pitiä, vaikkei tulis kun sana päiväs.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** [[Truth]] must be [[spoken]], even if it would come only one [[word]] a [[day]].

* ''Totuus on sodan ensimmäinen sankarivainaja. ([[Matti Kurjensaari]]) (SSSK)
** The truth is [[war]]'s first dead body of a hero.

* ''Tuli on hyvä trenki, mutta huono isäntä.'' (Kankaanpää, Satakunta) (KRA)
** [[Fire]] is a good [[helper]] but a bad master.

* ''Tuli ryppy rakkauteen.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (RRO)
** It came a wrinkle to [[love]].

* ''Tulia kun salama kirkkaalt taivaalt.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It came like a [[lightning]] from the clear [[sky]].

* ''Tulie salek kun kärpäset on niiv vihasia.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** It's gonna [[rain]] when the flies are so [[angry]].

* ''Tulis kesä ja kärpäsiä, sais köyhäkiin seuraa.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** Miss [[summer]] and flies, the [[poor]] man would have [[friends]].

* ''Tunkio on talon kunnia.'' (Laihia, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Dunghill is the [[honour]] of the [[house]].

* ''Tuota ei syö karhukaan karijasemata.'' (Northern Bothnia) (SMS)
** That won't even a [[bear]] [[eat]] without roaring.

* ''Tuppurainen on Tappuraisen takuumies.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Tuppurainen is the guarantor of Tappurainen.

* ''Turpa kii, sorsa, nyt sukelletaan!'' (Espoo, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Shut up, [[duck]], we're gonna dive now!

* ''Tuska tul kun tupakka loppu.'' (Kallola-Paakkola, Karelia) (MSA)
** [[Agony]] came when [[cigarettes]] ran out.

* ''Tyhjä kun käen pesä.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Empty like the [[cuckoo]]'s nest.

* ''Tyhjät tynnyrit kovemmin kolisee.'' (Sysmä, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Empty barrels clack louder [when being rolled along).
** Notes: [[people]] who have least [[knowledge]], [[speak]] loudest.

* ''Tyhmäkin näyttää viisaalta, kun ei puhu.'' (Vehmersalmi, Savonia) (KRA)
** Even a [[stupid]] one seems [[wise]] when he isn't [[talking]].

* ''Tyhmän on sydän suussa, suu sydämessä.'' (Porthan) (VKS)
** A stupid has his [[heart]] in the [[mouth]], his mouth in the heart.

* ''Tynnyrissä kasvanut''. (Idman) (VKS)
** [[Grown]] in a barrel.

* ''Tyvestä puuhun noustaan.'' (Merijärvi, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** A [[tree]] is climbed from its base.
** English equivalent: [[Learn]] to walk before you can [[run]].
** Meaning:  It is necessary to learn the basics before progressing to more advanced things.
** Source for meaning of English equivalent: {{cite book|author=Martin H. Manser|title=The Facts on File Dictionary of Proverbs|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=fgaUQc8NbTYC&amp;pg=PA94|year=2007|publisher=Infobase Publishing|isbn=978-0-8160-6673-5|page=290}}
** {{cite book | last 1 = Gauthier | year = 2002 | title = Internal Logic: Foundations of Mathematics from Kronecker to Hilbert | publisher = Kluwer Academic Publishers | page = 1096}}

* ''Työ ee oo herkkua. Jos e oes herkkua, niin herrathan sitä tekissii.'' (Vieremä, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Work]] is not a [[delicacy]]. If it were a delicacy, the masters would do it themselves.

* ''Työ tekijäänsä neuvoo.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Work [[advise]]s its maker.
** &quot;[[All]] worthy [[work]] is open to interpretations the author did not intend. '''[[Art]] isn't your pet — it's your kid. It grows up and talks back to you.'''&quot;
** Joss Whedon, [http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/s2uh1/i_am_joss_whedon_ama/c4ao0m1 Reddit IAmA (''c''. April  2012)]

* ''Täet syöpi ja maalima vihaa.'' (Pudasjärvi, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Lice suck and the [[world]] [[hate]]s.

* ''Tämä kansa ei usko mihinkään, mitä Venäjä sanoo. Mikä hirvittävä vaara siihen sisältyykään!'' ([[Olavi Paavolainen]]) (SSSK)
** This nation doesn't believe in anything what [[Russia]] says. What a terrible [[danger]] it contains!

* ''Tämä on uppiniskainen ja ylpeä kansa.'' ([[Santeri Alkio]]) (SSSK)
** This is a [[stubborn]] and [[proud]] nation.

* ''Täs tänään, kussa huomenna?'' (Ylihärmä, Southern Bothnia) (KNM)
** Here [[today]], where [[tomorrow]]?

* ''Tästä asti aikaa, sydän vasta puolillaan, mielin määrin kahvia, tupakkaa.'' ([[Pauli Hanhiniemi]])
** On flows the [[time]], half full still the [[heart]] of mine, [[coffee]], [[smoking]], all is fine.

* ''Täynnä kun Turusen pyssy.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Full like Turunen's [[gun]].

* ''Täyty ohjat käsin kiälest, sano Ruavisto ko enkelska Oskaril opet.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** Must [[guide]] by [[hands]] the [[tongue]], said Ruovisto when he [[taught]] Oskari English.

* ''Täytyy lähteäk kotiom muijaa kattooj ja lapsia räknäämiä.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Must go [[home]] to see the [[wife]] and count the [[children]].

* ''Täällä ei oo ollu piru jouten.'' (Tyrnävä, Northern Bothnia) (KNM)
** Here hasn't the [[devil]] been [[idleness]].

* ''Täältä tullaan Venäjä.'' (Hassisen kone)
** Here we come [[Russia]].

* ''Töysässä ei puhuta kun kolome sannaa viikossa.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** In Töysä they [[speak]] only three [[words]] a [[week]].

== U ==
* ''Ui kiven kans kilpaa.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Competes]] with a [[stone]] in [[swimming]].

* ''Ulkonäkö suojaa sukupuolitaudeilta.'' (Klamydia, a Finnish punk band)
** The looks [[protects]] against [[sex]] [[diseases]].

* ''Urheilija ei tervettä päivää näe.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (RRO)
** An [[athlete]] will never see a [[healthy]] [[day]].

* ''Uskotko rakkautehen ensisilimäyksellä vai kävelenkö ohitte uurestansa?'' (Southern Bothnia) (EPV)
** Do you [[believe]] in [[love]] at the first [[sight]] or shall I walk past you again?

* ''Uulet luulat lakasie tyyni.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** New brooms sweep best.

* ''Uupuva haapa vapisi: oisipa vapaa havupuu!'' (Alivaltiosihteeri, Tampere; [[palindrome]])
** The exhausting [[aspen]] trembled: wish I were a [[free]] coniferous tree!

* ''Uusi lumi on vanhan lumen surma.'' (Lavia, Satakunta) (KRA)
** New [[snow]] is the [[death]] of the [[old]] snow.

== V ==
* ''Vaatettaa kuv vihlallehti vittua.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Clothes like a leaf of birch switch the cunt.

* ''Vahingonilo makkein ilo.'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KVL)
** Malicious pleasure the sweetest [[pleasure]].

* ''Vahinko ei tule kello kaulassa''. (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** An [[accident]] does not come with a [[bell]] on its neck.

* ''Vahinkosta viisaaksi tullaan.'' (Pirkkala, Tavastia) (KRA)
** An accident makes one [[wiser]].
** English equivalent: Adversity is the mother of wisdom.

* ''Vahvassa myötätuulessa.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (RRO)
** In the strong following [[wind]]. (Getting [[drunk]])

* ''Vaihtelu virkistää.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (KRA)
** Variation refreshes.
** Notes: Sometimes given in the [[humor]]ous [[form]] ''&quot;Vaihtelu virkistää, sanoi kissa kun eukolla pöytää pyyhki&quot;'' (&quot;Varying things is refreshing, said the [[cat]] when using the [[lady]] of the [[house]] to wipe the table&quot;). Compare to &quot;Konstit on monet, sanoi eukko kun kissalla pöytää pyyhki.&quot;

* ''Vaikka sutta kuinka ruokkii, aina se mettään kattoo.'' (Halikko, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** The [[wolf]] watches the [[forest]], no matter how much you [[feed]] it.

* ''Vaimon järki on lyhyt ja leveä.'' (Länsipohja, Pajala, [[Sweden]]) (KRA)
** [[Wife]]'s [[sense]] is short and broad.
** A man may be a fool and not know it — but not if he is married.
** [[H.L. Mencken]] ''A Mencken Chrestomathy'' (1949)

* ''Vale varkaan miakka.'' (Kangasala, Tavastia) (HSP)
** Lie [[thief]]'s [[sword]].

* ''Valkeen kanan haukkakin ensin syä.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (HSP)
** The [[hawk]] will [[eat]] the white [[chicken]] first.

* ''Valleella on lyhvät jälet.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** [[Lie]] has short tracks.

* ''Valta menee päähän.'' (Askola, Uusimaa) (KRA)
** [[Power]] gets into the [[head]].

* ''Vanaha rakkaus janottaa.'' (Kainuu) (SMS)
** Old [[love]] makes thirsty.

* ''Vanhal häräll ov vahvemp sarvi.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** The old [[bull]] has a stronger horn.

* ''Vanhat profettaat oo kuall ja uuret ei tiär mittä.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** The old [[prophets]] have died and the new ones [[know]] [[nothing]].

* ''Vanhetessaan rikastuu, kun saa hopeiset hiuksetkin.'' (Siilinjärvi, Savonia) (MMT)
** One becomes [[richer]] growing old, when getting even [[silver]]y [[hair]].

* ''Vanhoja merimiehiä, uusia kerjäläisiä.'' (Velkua, Varsinais-Suomi) (MMT)
** Old sailors, new [[beggars]].

* ''Vanhuus ei tule yksinnään.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** [[Old age]] comes not [[alone]].

* ''Vapaurem patsas, sano Hannula muijas hautkive.'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** The [[Statue]] of [[Liberty]], said Hannula about his [[wife]]'s tombstone.

* ''Varis varista soimaa, vaikk oma noukkakin on paskassa.'' (Juupajoki, Tavastia) (KRA)
** The [[crow]] [[blame]]s the crow, 'though it's own beak is shitty.

* ''Varis varista soimaa, yhtä harmaat molemmat.'' (Porthan) (VKS)
** The crow blames the crow, both equally grey.

* ''Varjele hyvä Luoja ihmisen lasta merimiehen muijaksi joutumasta! Merimiehen muija ja kalamihe koira ne yhdessä rannalla ruikuttaa.'' (Koivisto, Karelia) (KOH)
** Good Lord, [[protect]] [[human]] [[child]] from [[marry]]ing a sailorǃ Sailor's [[wife]] and [[fisherman]]'s [[dog]] will [[weep]] together on the shore.

* ''Vastamäissä mies syntyy, jos syntyy.'' ([[Aaro Hellaakoski]]) (SSSK)
** Literal translation: &quot;A man is [[born]] in uphill, if he's born.&quot;
** Translation: &quot;A man is made in times of struggle, if he conquers these.&quot;

* ''Veli ei o veli korttipelissä.'' (Sysmä, Tavastia) (KRA)
** [[Brother]] is not a brother when playing cards.

* ''Veljeksiä kun ilveksiä.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Brothers like lynx.

* ''Velka o veli otettaissa, veljenpoika maksettaissa.'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** A [[loan]] is a brother when taken, a nephew when paid back.

* ''Venyvää nuoren nahka.'' (Tampere, Tavastia) (KRA)
** A young man's skin is elastic.

* ''Venäjä on oleva vastedes niinkuin tähänkin saakka meille sitä, mitä Persia oli Kreikalle.'' ([[Juhani Aho]]) (SSSK)
** [[Russia]] will mean in the [[future]] like until this to us what [[Persia]] meant to [[Greece]].

* ''Ves on lian liäkär.'' (Rautalampi, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Water]] is the [[doctor]] of dirt.

* ''Vesi ja valkki ain tyät tekevä.'' (Laitila, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Water and [[fire]] always do their job.

* ''Vesiki kannattaa, kun on luja usko ja leviät piaksut.'' (Härmä, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Even water carries when you have [[strong]] [[faith]] and broad boots.

* ''Viaton veri ei vapise.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** [[Innocent]] [[blood]] doesn't shiver.

* ''Viekas ja viisas kun vanaha kettu.'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** [[Cunning]] and [[wise]] as an old [[fox]].

* ''Vierasha virheen näkköö.'' (Kivennapa, Karelia) (KRA)
** A [[stranger]] sees the [[mistake]].

* ''Vihain kum persiesien ammuttuk karhu.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** [[Angry]] like a [[bear]] shot in the ass.

* ''Viideltä saunaan ja kuudelta putkaan, se on sellainen työmiehen lauantai.'' (Hämeenlinna, Tavastia; Vexi Salmi)
** At five o'clock to the sauna and six o'clock to the cell, that's the workingman's [[Saturday]].

* ''Viina lämmittää saman verran kun kusi housusa.'' (Rantsila, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Booze]] [[warm]]s up as much as pee in trousers.

* ''Viina se on kurkullen kuin rattahillen ihraa.'' (Ylistaro, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Booze is for the throat like fat for a stroller.

* ''Viitasaarella ei oo muuta raitista ku rovasti ja Porthanin patsas.'' (Haapavesi, Northern Bothnia) (KHM)
** In Viitasaari there's nothing [[sober]] but the [[priest]] and the [[statue]] of Porthan.

* ''Vittu ei vihkiin parane.'' (Ilomantsi, Karelia) (KRA)
** Cunt gets not better by [[marrying]].

* ''Viulu on perkeleen lapaluu.'' (Somero, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Violin is devil's shoulder blade.

* ''Voe näetä päevija, jos akka tietäsj ni itkisj.'' (Savonia) (SMS)
** Oh these [[days]], if the [[wife]] knew she would [[cry]].

* ''Voi isä kun me oltaas rikkahia, jos meirän ei tarvittisi syärä!'' (Southern Bothnia) (JPK)
** Oh [[daddy]] how [[rich]] we were if we wouldn't have to [[eat]]ǃ

* ''Voi kiälellä, myrkky syrämmessä.'' (Hattula, Tavastia) (HSP)
** Butter on the [[tongue]], [[poison]] in the [[heart]].
** English equivalent: A honey tongue, a heart of gall.

* ''Voi on kolmaasti vuares hulluna, silloon kun soon liika kovaa, liika pehemoosta ja silloon kun ei sit oo ollenkaan.'' (Lapua, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Butter is [[crazy]] three times a [[year]], when it's too hard, too soft and then when there's no butter at all.

* ''Voi sielun rieska, kun sais tapella kirkossa ja purra pappia!'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** Oh [[soul]]'s [[bread]], wish I could [[fight]] in the [[church]] and bite the [[priest]]!

* ''Vässyy se hyväkii hevone.'' (Koivisto, Karelia) (KOH)
** Even the [[good]] [[horse]] gets [[tired]].

== Y ==

* ''Yhleksäm muuta makua ja paskam maku kymmenes.'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Nine other flavors and the taste of shit the tenth.

* ''Yhtä tyhjä kur ruumiim piaru.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** As empty as the fart of a corpse.

* ''Yhyrenlaaset linnut aina yhyres lentää.'' (Isokyrö, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** The same kind of [[birds]] fly together.
** English equivalent: &quot;Birds of a feather fly together.&quot; or &quot;Birds of a feather flock together.&quot;

* ''Yks hullu kysyy enempi kuin yhdeksän viisasta jaksaa vastata.'' (Oulu, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** One fool [[ask]]s more than nine [[wise]] men can answer.

* ''Yks paha sana voittaa yheksän hyvää.'' (Lappajärvi, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** One bad [[word]] beats nine good words.

* ''Yks ryyppy paras, kaks paljo, kolme vähäsen.'' (Uusimaa) (SMS)
** One [[drink]] the best, two a lot, three a little.

* ''Yks sopusa sana parantaa yhleksän haavaa.'' (Orivesi, Tavastia) (HSP)
** One peaceable word [[heals]] nine [[wounds]].

* ''Yks tykkää tyttärestä, toinen äireestä, mutta Rasputiini tykkäs molemmista.'' (Isokyrö, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** One prefers [[daughter]], another [[mother]], but Rasputin liked both of them.

* ''Yks äiti elättää kuus tytärtä, mut kuus tytärtä ei elätä yhtä äitiä.'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** One mother looks after six daughters, but six daughters do not look after one mother.

* ''Yksin kun Esa taivahas.'' (Härmä, Southern Bothnia)) (RRO)
** [[Alone]] like Esa in [[heaven]].

* ''Yksin on kun varis tuules.'' (Asikkala, Tavastia) (RRO)
** Is alone like a [[crow]] in the [[wind]].

* ''Yksinääst ei auta Jumalakaan.'' (Isokyrö, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Even [[God]] doesn't [[help]] the [[lonely]] one.
** English equivalent: Without [[friendship]] life is nothing.

* ''Ylpeä kum Porin kerjäläi.'' (Hollola) (KRA)
** [[Proud]] as a [[beggar]] from Pori.

* ''Ylös, ulos ja lenkille! sano Tarva.'' (Pieksämäki, Savonia) (RRO)
** Up, out and for the [[run]]! said Tarva.

* ''Yrittänyttä ei laiteta.'' (Pihtipudas, Central Finland) (KRA)
** He who has tried will not be scolded.

* ''Yrittää pitää, käy syteen taikka saveen.'' (Loppi, Tavastia) (KRA)
** You must try whether it will go into clay or charcoal.
** Notes: When tempering a scythe blade, a smith will heat the blade red-hot on charcoal. A covering of clay keeps the back of the blade insulated from the heat, and makes it cool slower when quenched in water. Cooling metal quickly leaves it hard but brittle; the clay prevents the back of the blade from hardening, making the [[material]] tougher. The idiom refers to striking the blade against a rock, on the edge &quot;on the charcoal&quot;, or on the side against &quot;the clay&quot;, one potentially chipping the blade, the other sustaining the blow without [[injury]].
** Meaning: regardless of the [[risks]]; &quot;Here goes nothing.&quot;

* ''Yskässä se on vanhan nauru.'' (Töysä, Southern Bothnia) (EPP)
** Cough is the old man's [[laughter]].

* ''Ystävä sannoo ystävälle, ystävä koko kylälle.'' (Kemi, Lapland) (KRA)
** The [[friend]] tells friend, the friend the whole [[village]].

* ''Ystävät pettiä, mutta muantie on pettämätön.'' (Hartola, Tavastia) (HSP)
** Friends [[deceive]] but the [[road]] doesn't.

== Ä ==

* ''Äijät, te pettäjiä!'' (Hollola, Tavastia; palindrome)
** Men, you are [[cheater]]s!

* ''Äit kasvattaa pojan, naine tekkyö miehen.'' (Pyhäjärvi Vpl., Karelia) (RRO)
** [[Mother]] raises the [[boy]], [[woman]] makes the man.

* ''Äkkii se käy ko mummo haudataa, ko o jo valmiiks kuollu.'' (Pori, Satakunta) (KRA)
** The granny's burial will be done quickly, 'cause she's [[dead]] already.
** I think that [[sick]] [[people]] in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say 'it was god's will' when granny dies, but they get [[angry]] when they lose a [[cow]].
** [[Terry Pratchett]], ''Usenet'' (90s)

* ''Älkä ai riirelkä, tapelkas sovinos!'' (Varsinais-Suomi) (SMS)
** Don't always quarrel, [[fight]] in [[harmony]]!

* ''Ällä usco juopunutta; juopunu walhettele.'' (WST)
** Don't [[believe]] the [[drunken]] man; he lies.

* ''Äly hoi älä jätä, ymmärrys älä petäǃ'' (Nivala, Northern Bothnia) (KRA)
** [[Intelligence]] hoy don't leave, [[understanding]] don't [[fail]]ǃ

* ''Älyvä tulloo, mutt iltajunassa.'' (Kangaslampi, Savonia) (KRA)
** Intelligence comes, but in the [[evening]] train.

* ''Älyä työ kysyy, akan otto ainakin.'' (Nilsiä, Savonia) (KRA)
** [[Work]] asks for intelligence, taking a [[woman]] at least.

* ''Älä astu miinaan!'' (Mäntsälä, Uusimaa) (RRO)
** Don't step on a mine!

* ''Älä hätäile koskessa, on vanhan Lapin sääntö.'' (Enontekiö, Lapland) (KRA)
** Don't rush in the rapids, is the rule of [[old]] Lapland.

* ''Älä laita kaikkia munia samaan koriin!''
** All [[eggs]] should not be put in one basket.
** English equivalent: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!
** &quot;Spread your [[risks]] or [[investments]] so that if one [[enterprise]] fails you will not lose everything.&quot;
**{{cite book|author=Martin H. Manser|title=The Facts on File Dictionary of Proverbs|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=fgaUQc8NbTYC&amp;pg=PA63|accessdate=18 August 2013|year=2007|publisher=Infobase Publishing|isbn=978-0-8160-6673-5|page=63}}
** {{cite book|author=Ingrid Schellbach-Kopra|title=Zwei Finnen brauchen keinen Dolmetscher: Finnische Sprichwörter|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=qERhBMei08gC&amp;pg=PA245|accessdate=18 August 2013|date=January 2011|publisher=Frank &amp; Timme GmbH|isbn=978-3-86596-303-1|page=245}}

* ''Älä lyä lyätyä, sorra sorretun sydäntä!'' (Turku, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Don't hit a man when's he's down, break the [[heart]] of an [[oppressed]]ǃ

* ''Älä makkeile, viskoa pois sokurj suustais!'' (Karelia) (SMS)
** Don't [[talk]] [[sweet]], spit the sugar out of your [[mouth]]!

* ''Älä men Turkku, siel panna puukko kurkku!'' (Rauma, Satakunta) (KRA)
** Don't go to Turku, there they'll cut your throat!

* ''Älä mene joen yli vettä hakemaan.'' (Alahärmä, Southern Bothnia) (MMT)
** Don't go across the [[Rivers|river]] to get [[water]].
** English equivalentː To carry coals to Newcastle.

* ''Älä myy karhun nahka, ennenkuin karhun kiini saat!'' (Kalanti, Varsinais-Suomi) (KRA)
** Don't [[sell]] the [[bear]]'s skin before you catch the bear!
** English equivalent: Sell not the bear's skin before you have caught him.

* ''Älä niin pitkään kahto, että reikä tullee!'' (Ähtäri, Southern Bothnia) (KRA)
** Don't make a hole by [[watching]] too long!

* ''Älä ny koko naamallas vahtaa!'' (Satakunta) (SMS)
** Don't stare with your whole [[face]] now!

* ''Älä nys sentiäm purematan niele!'' (Hollola, Tavastia) (PLK)
** Don't swallow without chewing!

* ''Älä nyv vaan aivojas nyrjähytä!'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Don't twist your [[brain]] now!

* ''Älä opeta isääs naimaan!'' (Lammi, Tavastia) (RRO)
** Don't [[teach]] your [[father]] to fuck!

* ''Älä osta sikkaa säkissä!'' (Salajärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Don't [[buy]] a [[pig]] in a sackǃ

* ''Älä pelkää pimeää ulkona. Pelkää pimeää sisälläsi.'' (MME)
** Don't [[fear]] the [[darkness]] outside. Fear the darkness inside you.

* ''Älä sano kaikkia mitä tiijät, mutta tiijä kaikki mitä sanot!'' (Ähtäri) (KVL)
** Don't say everything you [[know]], but know everything you say!

* ''Älä sure mumman kuolemaa, mumma on taivahas voileipä käres!'' (Southern Bothnia) (SMS)
** Don't [[mourn]] granny's [[death]], granny is in [[heaven]] a sandwich in her [[hand]]!

* ''Älä välitä ruma kaveri en miekhän mikhän ruusu ole.'' (Lapland) (SMS)
** Never mind [[ugly]] buddy I'm not a [[rose]] either.

* ''Ämmät kyllä olutta juowat / cuin naudat wettä.'' (WST)
** [[Women]] [[drink]] [[beer]] / like [[cows]] [[water]].

* ''Äreä kun kirppuhiin koira.'' (Hollola) (PLK)
** Sulky like a [[dog]] with [[fleas]].

* ''Ärree kun kerijäläinen pakkasella.'' (Ähtäri) (KRA)
** [[Angry]] like a [[beggar]] in frost.

* ''Äänellänsä lintukin laulaa, vaan sirkka laulaa reisillään.'' (Vilppula, Tavastia) (HSP)
** The [[bird]] [[sings]] with its [[voice]] but the [[grasshopper]] sings with its thighs.

* ''Äänellään variskiin laulaa.'' (Säkkijärvi, Karelia) (MSA)
** Even the [[crow]] sings with its own voice.
** Meaning: Do not be [[afraid]] to [[try]] with the assets you have.

* ''Äänestän kevättä, syksy tulee valituksi, talvi hallitsee.'' ([[Paavo Haavikko]]) (SSSK)
** I [[vote]] for [[summer]], [[autumn]] will be elected, [[winter]] rules.

* ''Äärellä köyhä keskelläkin.'' (Teisko, Tavastia) (HSP)
** At the edge the poor even in the middle.

== Sources ==

* AVL = Aika velikultia. Pasi Heikura. WSOY 2014. ISBN 978-951-0-40766-0

* EPP = Parahat eteläpohjalaaset paukahrokset, toimittanut Markku Koivisto, Keski-Suomen Eteläpohjalaiset ry, Jyväskylä, Gummerus Kirjapaino Oy 2002, ISBN 952-91-4288-9

* EPV = Etelä-pohojalaanen vitsikirja III. Seinäjoki 2011. ISBN 978-952-92-9178-6

* HMK = Hätäkös tässä matalassa kaivossa! Toimittanut Pasi Klemettinen. Suomalaisen Kirjallisuuden Seura, 2019, ISBN 978-951-858-050-1

* HSP = Hämeen sananparsia, toimittanut Hämäläis-osakunta, WSOY 1941

* IKA = Istu kiiruummaks aikaa. Sanonnat kerännyt Marko Vesterbacka. Kustannusliike Warelia. ISBN 978-952-5940-13-8

* JPK = Justhin piisas kun kesken loppuu - laihialaiskaskuja. Toimittanut Marjatta Jauhiainen. Suomalaisen Kirjallisuuden seura, ISBN 951-717-032-7

* KHM = Kansanhuumorin mitä missä milloinkin. Koonnut Matti Kuusi Kansanrunousarkiston kokoelmista. Helsinki: Otava, 1981, ISBN 951-1-06355-3

* KNM = Kuu on nuarten miästen aurinko - 36 500 suomenkielistä sananlaskua. Valinnut ja järjestänyt Risto Rekola. BoD 2021, ISBN 978-952-805-0223

* KOH = Koiviston Heinot, 2003. Koonnut Unto Erlamo. ISBN 952-91-6089-5

* KRA = Kansanrunousarkisto (National poetry archive). 15 904 sananlaskua Kansanrunousarkistosta, Suomalaisen Kirjallisuuden seura, ISBN 978-952-222-855-0

* KSA = Karjalaisia sananlaskuja ja arvoituksia. Koonnut Pertti Virtaranta. Castrenianum, Helsinki 1976. ISBN 951-45-0889-0

* KSJ = Kun sutten joukkohon joutuu, niin ulvua täytyy - 26 000 suomenkielistä sananlaskua. Valinnut ja järjestänyt Risto Rekola. BoD, 2020, ISBN 978-952-801-511-6

* KST = Kaskuja ja sananparsia Tuuloksesta, Hämeenlinna 1979, ISBN 951-99199-8-8

* KVL = Kyllä verkot löytyy kun vesi selekiää, 1986, ISBN 951-99796-2-X

* MHÄ = Moon Härmästä. Lions-klubi Härmät. Otava, 1976, ISBN 951-1-04141-X

* MME = Mankeliin menossa – viisasteluja viisikymppisille. Toimittanut Pirkko-Liisa Perttula. Helsinki, Otava 1996, ISBN 951-1-14018-3

* MMT = Maassa maan tavalla – 2000 suomalaista kansanviisautta. Valikoinut Toivo Vuorela. WSOY, 1979. ISBN 951-0-09306-8

* MSA = Määppäs sanomaan! Säkkijärven sananparsia, saahkunoita ja sanoja, koonnut Antti Seppä, Suomalaisen Kirjallisuuden seura, Jyväskylä 2000, ISBN 951-746-107-0

* NMM = Naura makiast meijä mukan! Evakko- ja karjalaishuumoria sodan ja rauhan vuosilta. Toimittanut Esko J. Mannermaa. WSOY 1991. ISBN 951-0-16880-7

* PLK = Piiskan lovi kainalossa, toimittanut Mika Sirén, Suomalaisen Kirjallisuuden Seura, 1983

* PSK = Piissaarelaiset Koivistolta. Toimittanut Unto Erlamo. ISBN 952-91-9976-7

* RRO = Rapatessa roiskuu – nykysuomen sananparsikirja. Toimittanut Matti Kuusi. Suomalaisen Kirjallisuuden Seura, 1988. ISBN 951-717-511-6

* SLG = Sotilasslangin sanakirja. Antti Penttinen. WSOY 1984. ISBN 951-0-11952-0

* SMS = Sanasta miestä sarvesta härkää – hauskaa ja osuvaa kansanviisautta ympäri Suomea. Valitut Palat, toimittanut Reino Rasilainen, 2017. ISBN 978-952-296-212-6

* SPS = Sananparsia Suomesta 1., Pekka Tuomikoski 2006, ISBN 952-202-060-5

* SSP = Suoniemen sananparsia, koonnut Eero Järventausta, Suomalaisen Kirjallisuuden Seura, 1974, ISBN 951-717-047-5

* SSSK = Suuri Sitaattisanakirja, toimittanut Jarkko Laine, Helsinki, Otava, 1989

* VKS = Vanhan kansan sananlaskuviisaus, koonnut ja järjestänyt Matti Kuusi, WSOY, 1990, ISBN 951-0-02280-2

* WST = Wanhain Suomalaisten Tawaliset ja Suloiset Sananlascut, Suomalaisen Kirjallisuuden Seura, ISBN 951-717-487-X, Jyväskylä 1987 (published first 1702 by Henrik Florinus)

== See also ==
* [[Karelian proverbs]]
* [[Veps proverbs]]
* [[Votian proverbs]]

[[Category:Proverbs by language]]</text>
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    <title>Kitchen Nightmares (uncensored)</title>
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      <text bytes="227771" xml:space="preserve">{{for|the censored version of the same series|Kitchen Nightmares}}
'''''[[w:Kitchen Nightmares|Kitchen Nightmares]]''''' is a reality TV series on [[w:FOX|FOX]] where Chef [[w:Gordon Ramsay|Gordon Ramsay]] visits failing restaurants across America and tries to help them turn around. It aired its first episode on September 19, 2007.

:'' ''Kitchen Nightmares'' and all related episodes and quotes are a copyright of A. Smith &amp; Co. Productions, ITV Studios and Fox Broadcasting Company. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the ''Wikimedia Foundation'' do not claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, ''The Wikimedia Foundation,'' have any affiliation with A. Smith &amp; Co. Productions, ITV Studios and Fox Broadcasting Company, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.''

== Season 1 ==

=== Peter's [1.01] ===
:''[Showing Peter and the others the walk-in]''
:'''Gordon: ''' When was the last time you went inside the walk-in fridge?
:'''Peter: ''' I had a hot flash last week.
:'''Gordon: ''' A hot flash?! What does that mean?
:'''Peter: ''' I mean, I was like, hot and I walked in here for a second.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''John: ''' Peter's like one of those guys who eats out a lot, so he &lt;i&gt;assumes&lt;/i&gt; he knows about cooking in restaurants. He has no clue about the kitchen.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Peter: ''' Mom, do me a favor, make me an espresso, please.
:'''Tina: ''' Go and make it yourself!
:'''Peter: ''' ''[To Gordon]'' I just want my mother to get me an espresso, and I’m ready.
:'''Gordon: ''' Espresso?! Bloody hell...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[In the middle of the lunch rush]''
:'''Peter: ''' Can someone get me Tina, please? I need orange juice.
:'''Gordon: ''' You want Tina to stop now and get you a glass of orange juice?!
:'''Peter: '''  Don't I have anybody that can get me orange juice?
:'''Gordon: ''' Peter. Look at me. Fuck yourself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Day four, 5:30pm, thirty minutes before relaunch]''
:'''Narrator''': With the doors about to open, Gordon gathers the staff for a quick chat.
:'''Gordon''': Right, tonight is a critical, crucial night.
:''[A bill collector appears on the doorstep.]''
:'''Gordon''': Are you with us? Or are you...
:'''Bill collector''': No, I'm just waiting for him (Peter).
:'''Gordon''': Okay, but we're really busy right now.
:'''Narrator''': Once again, Peter's has a bill collector on its doorstep.
:'''Gordon''': (to bill collector) You are interfering, that's what I'm saying. Now get out of the way. Would you mind...
:'''Bill collector''': I'm interfering? You got to wait two minutes. I got to talk.
:'''Gordon''': Get out of the way.
:'''Bill collector''': What?
:'''Gordon''': Why don't you get out of the way so we can go on?
:'''Bill collector''': You get out of the way. Don't worry about it, I'm talking to him.
:'''Gordon''': Why don't you go -- no, get out of the way.
:'''Bill collector''': (points to Peter) I want to talk to you.
:'''Gordon''': I'm saying: Get away.
:'''Peter''': (to bill collector) Hey, who are you talking to? (begins to take off suit jacket)
:'''Bill collector''': I'm talking to you!
:'''Gordon''': (tries to hold Peter back) God almighty! Relax, relax, relax, relax, relax!
:'''Peter''': (unintelligible, overlapping, drops his jacket)
:'''Bill collector''': (unintelligible, overlapping)
:'''Gordon''': Oh, no! Relax, relax, relax, relax!
:'''Bill collector''': (unintelligible)
:'''Peter''': (gets in bill collector's face) Fuck off! Get the fuck out of here! Who the fuck are you?!
:'''Gordon''': (still trying to restrain Peter) Relax! Relax! Dear, oh dear!
:'''Peter''': Who the fuck are you?! Fucking tough guy?!
:'''Gordon''': (turns away for a second) Christ almighty...
:'''Peter''': (unintelligible, chases bill collector outside)
:'''Gordon''': (notices what just happened) Oh, shit... 
''[Outside, Peter and the bill collector's argument continues.]''
:'''Peter''': (trying to instigate a fight) Yeah, tough guy! Come on!
''[The bill collector tries to walk away]''
:'''Peter''': (being restrained by Robert and John) You fake little gangster! Come on! You fake little gangster! I'll hurt you, scumbag! YEAH, TOUGH GUY!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
:'''John''': Stop!
:'''Peter''': (watching the bill collector walk toward his car) COME ON, YOU FAKE TOUGH GUY!! COME ON, YOU FAKE TOUGH GUY!! COME ON! COME ON, YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME?! COME ON, I'LL PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL!! '''YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!''' '''YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!'''
:'''Gordon''': Come out of the way, come out of the way.
:'''Peter''': '''FUCK THIS GUY!!!''' '''FUCK THIS GUY!!''' COME ON, YOU FAKE FUCKING GANGSTER!! YOU FUCKING BLOWJOB!! '''YOU'RE A FUCKING BLOWJOB!!!'''
:'''Yogi ''(Peter's father)''''': Peter, you're embarrassing me.
:'''Peter''': Fuck this guy!!
:'''John''': Peter, Peter, relax.
:'''Gordon''': Relax, relax.
:'''Peter''': Who the fuck is he to come in my fucking place?!?
:'''Gordon''': Relax, relax, relax.
:'''Peter''': (still raging at the now-departing bill collector) Have my fucking cock, you scumbag! Yeah, tough guy! (gets right next to his car and knocks on the window) Right now! Right now! (bill collector drives away anyway)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[post-dinner meeting]''
:'''Gordon:''' This place was a success, and has now pissed through your hands.
:'''Peter:''' Well, it is what—it is what it is.
:'''Gordon:''' You neglected it.
:'''Peter:''' I understand, but right now we’re not in a situation, money-wise, to fix it.
:'''Gordon:''' Well, fuck me; what’s the time? (Peter looks at his watch) What do you think this is? Your fucking little sound to get your massaging—get fed? You’re fucking walking around this place with a bowl of food in your fucking hand, eating away. That’s not how I run my fucking business.
:'''Peter:''' I’m getting a fucking headache.
:'''Gordon:''' I don’t think you’ve seen a day’s work for fucking 20 years.
:'''Peter:''' I-I-I’ve had my own personal problems...
:'''Gordon:''' We all have problems. (points to all the other people and himself) Problem, problem, problem, problem, problem. You’re no different. Let’s start working at the problem.
:'''Peter:''' What’s the problem?
:'''Gordon:''' What’s the problem? YOU. That’s where I’m starting.
:'''Peter:''' Excuse me? (beat) (to the staff) He’s fucking nuts, this guy.
:'''Gordon:''' You’re right; I’m fucking nuts, because you got fuck-all to worry about right now, have you?
:'''Peter:''' Listen to me.
:'''Gordon:''' I’m fucking listening.
:'''Peter:''' Listen to me.
:'''Gordon:''' You sound like you’re at the fucking Godfather.
:'''Peter:''' Yeah?
:'''Gordon:''' What the fuck is going on here? You’re the only fuck in here right now that’s not pulling their weight, and that’s not fucking good enough. I think this place would run better without you.

=== Dillon's [1.02] ===
:'''Gordon''': [to the chef]: Pleased to meet you; Gordon. [to Mohammad]: Tell him, in a really nice way: &quot;Your food is shit&quot;.
:'''Mohammad''': ''[Says &quot;your food is shit&quot; in his language]''
:'''Gordon''': Food was bland. Old-fashioned... I've eaten it, I don't feel too good.
:'''Chef''': ''[Says something in his language]''
:'''Mohammad''': Well he said that, uh, that lamb is probably the ''old'' lamb.
:'''Gordon''': You served me old lamb?
:'''Mohammad''': (interview) I'm embarrassed to see... the situation.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''(Day two, 11:55 a.m. - kitchen inspection)''
:'''Narrator''': Having discovered the terrible conditions in the kitchen, Gordon now ventures down to the basement to check out what's lurking below.
:'''Gordon''': What's that smell?
:''(Gordon finds a rat trap)''
:'''Gordon''': What?!! (to Mohammad) What is that? Is that for rats or mice?
:'''Mohammad''': This is food for to catch a rat.
:'''Gordon''': So we ''have'' got rats here.
:'''Mohammad''': Rat is all over the place.
:''(Gordon moves aside a refrigeration unit, then notices droppings underneath the unit)''
:'''Gordon''': That's rat droppings. Look at them all, everywhere.
:'''Mohammad''': Rats.
:'''Gordon''': Rats. Oh my good God.
:''(Gordon notices some cockroaches)''
:'''Gordon''': Look at the cockroaches.
:''(Gordon opens a cardboard box)''
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God, look. I've got one in my fucking hair, that's cockroaches. The box is full of them.
:''(Gordon opens another cardboard box)''
:'''Gordon''': Look, look at them all.
:''(Gordon opens the refrigeration unit)''
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God, look. There they are, there in the refrigeration. Oh fucking hell. Oh my God. Oh no. LOOK AT THAT! Oh my God, look at it. (to Mohammad) There you go, there you go.
:'''Mohammad''': (interview) I was shocked. It's like a nightmare.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': (finds half a tomato) When's that from? That's been sliced. That's gone out. What is that - where is it - hey madam, where's that tomato gone?
:''(The other half is being served on a dish in the dining room)''
:'''Gordon''': ''(digging through the slugs in the tomato)'' Look! It's fucking rotten, you fucking idiot! IT'S ROTTEEEEEEEEN!! Has a customer just been served a slice of '''''tomato'''''?!!
:'''Server''': No, no, no.
:'''Gordon''': So where is it?!!
:'''Andrew''': (interview) Oh my god.
:''(A customer starts eating the other half of the tomato)''
:'''Martin''': (interview) Things are looking pretty glum.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': No-one is getting served from this fucking restaurant tonight! Let's make that clear! Yes or no? Anyone against that?
:'''Andrew''': No.
:'''Gordon''': No, good.
:'''Martin''': (interview) That didn't go down too well. He was extremely angry and extremely pissed off.
:'''Gordon''': We are not...ever...again serving any of this food. I don't give a fuck what anyone says. Can you go and tell them that the kitchen is closed? Right now! Out there and tell them the truth! Tell them now!
:'''Andrew''': (interview) Gordon was so outraged. So angry. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Gordon''': ''(enraged, he can be heard in the dining room)'' FROM GREEN BURGERS, TO FUCKING FURRY CUCUMBER, TO FUCKING RANCID POTATOES!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': This place can be phenomenal. The location is extraordinary. This is a new start. You have to treat it as a new beginning.
:'''Mohammad''': Exactly. Of course.
:'''Gordon''': I mean, in a perfect world, I would sacrifice one your managers to employ [[w:Vikas Khanna|Vikas (Khanna)]]. You cannot carry driftwood in your business. Out of the three managers (flashes to Martin, Khan, and Andrew), one has to go. (Martin glares at Gordon) Between you and I, Martin has an amazing way of manipulating you. And he is not worth his weight in terms of what he brings to the table.
:'''Martin''': (interview) Hearing Gordon Ramsay say that to Mohammad, that makes me upset and angry. The frustration just boiled over. (approaches Mohammad) Tonight, tonight, Mohammad, I've never used you. I've respected you. I'm proud of what we've done. I've never cheated you. And I take --
:'''Gordon''': What's going on?
:'''Martin''': You're asking... for a manager to leave.
:'''Gordon''': Come on.
:'''Martin''': I've had enough! Because, you have been insulting me? You've accused me of riding on his back!
:'''Gordon''': Did you hear what I just said to him?
:'''Mohammad''': Martin?
:'''Gordon''': So... (to Mohammad) Let him go. Go on. Get it out. Get it off your chest.
:'''Martin''': No, that you...
:'''Gordon''': For the first time since I met you, show me that you're a man.
:'''Martin''': First, you accused me of riding on this man's...
:'''Gordon''': Why are you pointing like that?
:'''Martin''': Because I'm angry, okay? You want to see passion? I'm giving you passion. This person (Muhammad), I've respected. And you have the audacity to accuse of, like, taking his money...
:'''Gordon''': ...riding off his back?
:'''Gordon''': Riding off his back, is what you said. Well, that is disgusting. You don't have the right. You don't know that.
:'''Mohammad''': What about...
:'''Martin''': I have nothing to be guilty of.
:'''Gordon''': You ''what''?
:'''Martin''': ''Nothing!''
:'''Gordon''': You sat in it. (flashback) IT'S ROTTEEEEEEEEN!! (Martin simply looks at) (to Martin) Yeah, you ran it. You sat in it. 
:'''Martin''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': You ''wasted'' it.
:'''Martin''': Yes. I wasted it?
:'''Gordon''': You encouraged it.
:'''Martin''': It was always like, it spiraled...
:'''Gordon''': You let it go to shit.
:'''Martin''': It spiraled out of control. And I asked you to come on board. 
:'''Gordon''': You're feeling guilty. I'm glad.
:'''Martin''': NOT GUILTY!
:'''Gordon''': You're guilty.
:'''Martin''': Mohammad, I'm... NOT GUILTY! I'm not going to take this put-down anymore. I have nothing to be guilty of. Listen, this is my last night.
:'''Gordon''': Who said this was your last night? I'm curious.
:'''Martin''': Yes, this is my last light. This ''is'' my last, tonight!
:'''Gordon''': Please tell the owner, not me.
:'''Martin''': (to Muhammad) This is my last night. I'm out of here. I quit! (walks out)
:'''Gordon''': Jesus Christ.
:'''Mohammad''': (interview) When Martin left, actually, I was shocked. I didn't expect he's going to go dead there.
:'''Martin''': (interview) I think Gordon Ramsay is full of shit. And I'm extremely angry and extremely pissed off. And now, I turn my back and walk away.

=== The Mixing Bowl [1.03] ===
:'''Gordon''': When was the last time you went to a spa? The gym?
:'''Mike''': ''[Laughs and touches his belly]'' What, are you saying; are you trying to say something?
:'''Gordon''': I'm asking, when was the last time you went to the gym?
:'''Mike''': Oh, not for a long time.
:'''Gordon''': When was the last time you had a salad?
:'''Mike''': ''[Laughing]'' Not for a long time.
:'''Gordon''': Right... ok.
:'''Mike''': If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.
:'''Gordon''': Ok, great. ''[To the camera]'': When you look at the way the restaurant's put together, you can identify instantly, from the paper cloths, to the drapes, to the plants, to the ceiling, to the color, that this restaurant ''really is'' on its last legs. There's not long to go here.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The New York Dragons were not on the reservation list thanks to Mike]''
:'''Lisa''': (interview) The Dragons were supposed to be on that list and Mike just forgot!
:'''Lisa''': How is that missed? How is that overlooked?
:'''Mike''': Someone-- the Dragons just...
:'''Lisa''': Mike, that's what I'm saying.
:'''Mike''': I'm not sure what transpired.
:'''Lisa''': (interview) It was so upsetting. The was no Dragons on there!
:'''Gordon''': My god. For me, it's the most important table. That's embarrassing.
:'''Lisa''': You're overlooking extremely important things!
:'''Mike''': I was not told about the Dragons. I found out...
:'''Lisa''': Well, why do you keep saying that?
:'''Mike''': (losing it) Because I wasn't!! I wasn't told!!
:'''Lisa''': Excuse me, do not talk to me like that!
:'''Mike''': I was told at 7:00 this morning. THAT IT!!! Seriously, I'm pissed off!! DRAGONS ON THE PAPER!!! I'm pissed off!! Not my fault!! Dragons over here, I put them on at 7:00. COULD WE PLEASE MOVE ON?!!! THAT'S IT!!! NOT MY FAULT!!!

=== Seascape Inn [1.04] ===
:'''Gordon''': ''(after tasting the crab cakes)'' They've got it wrong on the menu. It's not a crab cake. It's a ''crap'' cake. Because if I eat anymore, I'll be busy crapping for the next hundred and five years.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Twice baked potato. Thank fuck I missed that one twice.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(finding frozen ravioli that he had for lunch)'' Bingo. These were my fresh lobster ravioli. Fresh? My fucking arse. I've eaten this shit!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(finding pesto)'' Oh, fucking hell. So that's the pesto I had for lunch. Just look at the colours in there. Look at that, it's mouldy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': This is ten thousand times worse than I thought it would be.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/:&gt;
:'''Doug''': To have another chef in my face in my kitchen, I’m pissed off coyly.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Doug''': Gordon Ramsay. He can go off on somebody for absolutely no reason.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Charles''': What do you want me to do, stand here and start crying or something?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(to Peter)'' This is not a time - hey - to laugh and take a fucking piss out of me. I've eaten this shit. What's going on, Peter?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(to Peter)'' You've got the nerves to tell me you clean the walls every fucking Tuesday? Touch - Fuck off, will you? Touch the wall! You dirty pig! (to the others) This is disgusting! I'm closing it down. (to Peter) How many has booked?
:'''Peter''': About twenty.
:'''Gordon''': Twenty - forget it. Get the place steam-cleaned from fucking head to tail. I don't care, but we're not cooking a fucking cookie out of here!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': I've never done that before, close down a restaurant, but that was a fucking embarrassment. Seascape open? (slams closed sign over open one on sandwich board) Close the fucking place.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Charles''': Fuck that four-star chef bullshit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(to Peter)'' Your head chef is lazy, dirty, and he shouldn’t be anywhere near a kitchen. He’s destroying your business quicker than you can fucking realise. Couldn’t even be bothered to taste what I’d cooked. In 21 years of cooking, that is a first for me.

=== The Olde Stone Mill [1.05] ===
:'''Gordon:''' Are you chewing gum?
:'''Waiter:''' Yes, sir.
:'''Gordon:''' You are. Is that normal?
:'''Waiter:''' I suppose.
:'''Gordon:''' Really?
:'''Waiter:''' ''[Stares at Gordon for a few seconds before returning to the kitchen]''
:'''Gordon:''' Apart from being slow, the waiter thinks it's normal to chew gum! Hey...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[Gordon's chopped salad has been molded into a funnel]''
:'''Gordon:''' Look at that. What's that squashed into? Looks like it's been squashed into an ice cream cone. ''[The waiter hands him the funnel]'' ... Ah, ok, that's it there! Right, that sits on top. Was the chef a mechanic?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Dean:''' I was pissed. Real pissed. I wanted to take the plate and smash it on top of the Chef's head.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Gordon:''' What's this crap here with calamari in a martini glass?
:'''Tom:''' We're just trying to do presentation because the dishes we have suck.
:'''Gordon:''' &quot;Suck&quot;?  I can't believe you'd be so fucking polite.

=== Sebastian's [1.06] ===
:'''Sebastian''': Sonja... I want you to plate it to him, and I want you to say: &quot;As Sebastian's mother would say; ''mangia'' (eat)&quot;.
:'''Sonja''': Mangia?
:'''Sebastian''': Yeah.
:'''Sonja''': [as she's placing the dish on Gordon's table]: ...and as Sebastian's mother would say, '''mangia!'''
:'''Gordon''': My God... it's very difficult to ''mangia'' without a knife and fork.
:'''Sonja''': Yes, of course, I'm sorry! I've brought you a clean one.
:'''Gordon''': You've got the part, relax.
:'''Sonja''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': It looks like a can of dog food. What an embarrassment to New York Strip steak. Just chopped and cooked to hell; everything's underseasoned... enough canned pet food for today!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sebastian''': Okay, my pizzas will soon be in supermarkets.
:'''Gordon''': ''What?!''
:'''Sebastian''': I would love to franchise this, and have a &quot;Sebastian's&quot; all over the world.
:'''Gordon''': Oh my god...
:'''Sebastian''': Just think how that sounds. &quot;Sebastian's&quot; all over the world. That makes me excited.
:'''Gordon''': You haven't got fucking one right so far! How the fuck can you think about two? I need some fresh air, the guy's gone!
:''(Sebastian laughs. Cut to Gordon standing in the street outside the restaurant]''
:'''Gordon''': This guy is seriously off his fucking trolley!
:'''Sebastian''': (to the kitchen staff) I just won that one. I won that one.
:'''Gordon''': What on earth is going on in his fucked-up, delusional mind?
:'''Sebastian''': Whoo! I won that one!
:'''Joy''': What happened?
:'''Sebastian''': He was giving me shit. I gave it back to him, and he was like, &quot;Uh, yeah whatever,&quot; and-
:'''Gordon''': (walks back into the restaurant) Sebastian! I just want a little word.
:''[Gordon goes into Sebastian's office, and Sebastian follows him]''
:'''Gordon''': Listen, big boy. Right now, you've won jack fucking shit! You've got the audacity to stand there, talking to me about a franchise, when we can't even get a pizza right?
:'''Sebastian''': (interview) It took everything in me not to just, freak out. (to Gordon) I've been here two years. It may not seem like-
:'''Gordon''': What have you got to show?
:'''Sebastian''': What have I got to show? I'll tell you what I've got to show. Pride! Pride!
:'''Gordon''': You're delusional! You are so-
:'''Sebastian''': That's your opinion, sir. A lot of people feel that way about you!
:'''Gordon''': (points at the dining room) What's successful about out there?
:'''Sebastian''': I'm still here.
:'''Gordon''': That's what makes it successful? You've just answered my question. I'll see you later.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Let's just have a little taste together.
:''[Gordon and Sebastian taste some mashed potatoes. After a few seconds, Gordon spits his out]''
:'''Gordon''': What does that taste like, for you?
:'''Sebastian''': It's not great. It's a little dry.
:'''Gordon''': It's cut the fucking end off, squeeze it into a container, and send it.
:'''Sebastian''': A lot of stuff isn't home-made.
:'''Gordon''': 95% of the stuff is bought-in.
:'''Sebastian''': Uh, okay, I was going to go with 80%.
:'''Gordon''': This shit is the most disgusting fucking bought-in crap I've ever tasted in my entire life.
:'''Sebastian''': It's almost more important for me to let this go out at half its quality, and go out and make sure the guests are happy, and meet the guests, and talk to them.
:'''Gordon''': You're happy to be a fake chef, aren't you?
:'''Sebastian''': No. I don't believe I'm a fake chef. It's a franchisable concept-
:'''Gordon''': Why are you so fucking obsessed with becoming famous with a franchise? Why can't you just have one restaurant, cook your arse off, and get customers in here for the love of what you're doing?
:'''Sebastian''': I was hoping that this would be my launching pad for my name.
:'''Gordon''': How?! ''[points to the pre-made ingredients]'' That's not cooking. If you're convinced in your mind that this is going to work, you're beyond reach, you know that?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': (on the over-elaborate menu) You can't push an inherently-faulty concept. That's like shining a turd...absolutely futile.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' When I first arrived here, we got off to a shaky start. Then we kept our heads down and we got through it together.
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' And we made some really exciting changes. The menu's changed, the staff have changed.
:'''Sebastian:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Mate, there's one thing that hasn't changed in this establishment, and that's you Sebastian. I'm 40 years old, and I have gone a lot of restaurants, but I've never... ever... ever... ''ever'' met someone I believe in as little as you. I think you will go back to your sloppy, shortcut, 5-out-of-10 frozen ways. Good luck. (Sebastian walks back inside) Unbelievable.
:'''Sebastian:''' Un-fucking-believable.
:'''Gordon:''' Fucking useless.
:'''Sebastian:''' You fucking kidding me? Fucking kidding me right now?! (pacing back and forth) This is MY FUCKING LIFE!!
:'''Gordon:''' Oh my God...
:'''Sebastian:''' THIS IS '''MY''' FUCKING LIFE!!!
:'''Andre:''' (interview) Honestly, I haven't seen Sebastian this emotional.
:'''Lou-Bertha:''' (interview) Sebastian just got ''real'' loud. He just changed like Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.
:'''Sebastian:''' (walks toward the back door) ''ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!?''
:'''Gordon:''' That's pissed on his bonfire.
:'''Sebastian:''' (leaving the restaurant) Fucking arrogant! Fuck that motherfucker! (to the production team) We're done! Get the fucking team out of here! (approaches back entrance) Chef Gordon! (breaks the door open) Chef Gordon! Where the fuck are you? Where are you?
:'''Gordon:''' I'm here.
:'''Sebastian:''' You come into my restaurant?
:'''Gordon:''' Yes.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm just so fucking disappointed.
:'''Gordon:''' Wait. Don't shout here. You're going to calm down?
:'''Sebastian:''' Stop pointing your finger at me.
:'''Gordon:''' Are you going to calm down?
:'''Sebastian:''' Are we going to speak like men? You're going to speak to me like a man?
:'''Gordon:''' You didn't listen to what I've told you.
:'''Sebastian:''' You didn't listen to what I'm saying.
:'''Gordon:''' Did you hear what I've just told you?
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm stepping away from you because I don't want to be too close.
:'''Gordon:''' You ungrateful...
:'''Sebastian:''' You have no idea!
:'''Gordon:''' Nasty, vindictive...
:'''Sebastian:''' You have no fucking idea!
:'''Gordon:''' Joker!
:'''Sebastian:''' Well, fuck you! (walks away)
:'''Gordon:''' This is it? (follows Sebastian)
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah, it is it! You're very disappointing!
:'''Gordon:''' That was your second fucking shit performance tonight!
:'''Sebastian:''' Are you fucking kidding me?! Your whole act is a fucking joke!
:'''Gordon:''' Anything else?
:'''Sebastian:''' Your whole act is a fucking joke! You're a phony!
:'''Gordon:''' You shouldn't run like that.
:'''Sebastian:''' Run like what?!
:'''Gordon:''' Am I supposed to be scared now, Sebastian?
:'''Sebastian:''' (makes a &quot;wanker&quot; gesture) Come on, give me a break. I'm busting my ass in there. You tell me...
:'''Gordon:''' You what?!
:'''Sebastian:''' Are you kidding me?! 
:'''Gordon:''' Let me tell you...
:'''Sebastian:''' Are you kidding me?!
:'''Gordon:''' Let me tell you something...
:'''Sebastian:''' You're telling me nothing! I'm done!
:'''Gordon:''' There you go.
:'''Sebastian:''' Yes. LOSER! (walks away) And I'm telling you one last time. YOU'RE A FUCKING DICKHEAD!

=== Finn McCool's [1.07] ===
:'''Narrator''': After feeling the heat of the firemen, Brian and sous chef Francis get back to work under the watchful eye of Gordon who can't believe what he sees.
:''[Francis drops a chicken wing on the floor while tossing it in the sauce and he picks up and throws it in the fryer]''
:'''Gordon''': Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis. Fuck me, he's deaf as a fucking bat. Francis, you took it off the floor and put it in the fryer and then back in the sauce.
:'''Francis''': Yeah, well the fryer is going to...is going to...take anything that comes off the floor and clean it.
:'''Gordon''': But it fell on the floor.
:'''Francis''': Correct.
:'''Gordon''': Put it back in the fryer.
:'''Francis''': Right into the fryer.
:'''Gordon''': And it cleans it.
:'''Francis''': It cleans it. It sterilizes it.
:'''Gordon''': Sterilises it?
:'''Francis''': Yeah, well...
:'''Gordon''': Fuck me! &quot;Sterilised it&quot;?
:''[the wings are now being eaten at a table]''
:'''Buddy''': What happened with that order?
:'''Francis''': I dropped a wing on the floor, picked it up and stuck it back in the fryer again.
:''[Buddy's eyes open wide in horror]''
:'''Brian''': (interview) We tried to keep everything consistent but some things get messed up every now and then.
:'''Buddy''': What the fuck were you thinking?!
:'''Gordon''': (outside) Oh my god. I've never, ever, ever seen anything quite extraordinary as that. Serves food off the floor and serves it to the customer? Oh, my god, no!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Melissa''': (watching Brian, in the kitchen, down a glass of beer) I want to see you and Ramsay chug.
:'''Brian''': I'll smoke him, and tuck him into bed. Goodnight, chef. (laughs) (interview) I'm a very confident person. I've been in the kitchen a long time. I'm almost positive we'll get a good review.
:'''Gordon''': (waiting for his spring rolls) When you get a family business right, it goes on for generations; and here, it doesn't feel like a family-run business at all. Pubs are full of atmosphere, fun. It's got tweed-neck curtains, like you're going to visit your granny. Weird.
:'''Melissa''': (arriving with spring rolls) Here you are; spring rolls with Coleman's mustard.
:'''Gordon''': Wow. God. Very strange, bizarre-looking spring roll. (eats it) Damn. (to Melissa) Are they popular on the menu?
:'''Melissa''': (hesitantly) People... really like them.
:'''Gordon''': No doubt half the customers are drunk.
:'''Buddy''': This is a tough half-hour of my life.
:'''Melissa''': (to Brian) Not a big hit.
:'''Brian''': He didn't like it?
:'''Melissa''': Nope. (interview) Brian's in the kitchen, wondering, and I'm like, &quot;Nope.&quot;
:'''Brian''': Are you kidding me? 
:'''Melissa''': He really expected me to be like, &quot;He loved it!&quot; You know, &quot;He wants you to come work for him!&quot;
:'''Brian''': Come on! (drizzles balsamic on Gordon's salmon) Maybe try that one.
:'''Melissa''': (serving the salmon to Gordon) Let me get you some clean silverware...
:'''Gordon''': Thank you. (noticing the balsamic) God. What's this stuff, please, Melissa?
:'''Melissa''': On top is a balsamic reduction. He (Brian) likes to use that a lot. On everything, he puts a little drizzle on.
:'''Gordon''': A little? Thank you.
:'''Melissa''': You're welcome. (leaves)
:'''Gordon''': Always a sign of an insecure chef, when he macerates everything in balsamic vinegar. Look at this. (tastes it) Horrible. Doesn't taste of salmon at all.
:'''Melissa''': (returning) All through?
:'''Gordon''': Does my shepherd's pie have any balsamic vinegar?
:'''Melissa''': No.
:'''Gordon''': (sarcastically) Good. Lovely.
:'''Buddy''': I don't even think he likes the water.
:'''Melissa''': (to Brian) He asked me, &quot;Will my shepherd's pie have any balsamic vinegar?&quot; and I told him, &quot;No, I assure you it will not.&quot;
:'''Brian''': Do I? Do I dare? (interview) I don't want to come off as conceited or cocky, but I know I'm very good at what I do. I know the back of the house well. I've done everything that's out there.
:''[We see a tray of shepherd's pie filling, topped with a pool of fat.]''
:'''Brian''': Let's try that one.
:'''Melissa''': (serves the pie) Enjoy.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you.
:'''Melissa''': You're welcome. (leaves)
:'''Gordon''': (digging into the shepherd's pie with his fork) It's just a big ball of grease. (eats it and grimaces) Just very, very greasy. (coughs and gags) Oh, God! That's disgusting. 
:''[Gordon gets up and leaves the table]''
:'''Gordon''': (to Buddy) The toilet?
:'''Buddy''': Second door on the left.
:''[Gordon walks toward the bathroom. A moment later, he is heard vomiting.]''
:'''Buddy''': Oh, no...

=== Lela's [1.08] ===

:''[Gordon brings Buzzard (Daniel) back to Lela's after Buzzard stole leftover wine and food.]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[shows Lela the stolen food]'' This is Buzzard's little picnic. Nice little sandwich there, ham, cheese, mustard. Oh, nice big salad. And main course, we're going to tackle some New Zealand lamb.
:'''Buzzard''': I know where that came from.
:'''Gordon''': Stop laughing. Here we are with a restaurant that's financially fucking screwed and you're just helping yourself to wine and a four course dinner.
:'''Lex''': (interview) He takes little things every now and then, but I haven't seen him do something like that in a while.
:'''Buzzard''': Now, listen. I'm not going to stand there and argue with you. You can have that! Okay? (Walks out)
:'''Gordon''': This lady owns it. Buzzard? Unbelievable. 
:'''Lela''': (interview) We were thinking that he was doing that but I hadn't caught him in the act and today, well there it is.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Buzzard comes to work next morning]''
:'''Lela:''' (interview) I hate to have to fire anybody, but then you get to the point where if I can't get them to change what they're doing or whatever, then I have to get rid of him.
:'''Gordon:''' Can I see your eyes? Take your glasses off. (Buzzard takes off his shades) Buzzard, anything that belongs inside this restaurant belongs to Lela. Yeah? End of story. Nothing gets taken off this premise.
:'''Tabitha:''' (interview) If it was up to me, I'd fire Buzzard's ass.
:'''Gordon:''' I get lots of people stealing from me and I just have one discipline, anyone who steals from me is out. End of story. Because, the message you send, they all see you do it, they all do it. Anyway, Lela, you're the one who's got to make the decision, it's your restaurant.
:'''Lela:''' Yeah, so you know, I'm sorry but this is going to be it. All right? This is it.
:'''Tabitha:''' (interview) Buzzard ain't going to be back here. He ain't going to be buzzing around here and he's truly a buzzard.

=== Campania's [1.09] ===
:'''Joe''': If people start bitchin', the meatballs are gonna come out of the kitchen.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[One customer was unhappy with the food and would not be mollified. Shockingly, a less-than-sober but satisfied customer comes to the defense of Campania.]''
:'''Drunk Customer''': If it was that bad, then why'd you keep eating? Why did you keep eating if it was that bad?
:'''Angry Customer''': What's her problem?
:'''Drunk''': 'Cause youse a fucking liar! You just want everything for free, you greedy fucking bitch!
:'''Angry''': Oh my God in heaven! You people are mental!
:'''Drunk''': Go have another bottle of wine, you fucking alcoholic bitch. Have another bottle of wine, you fucking lowlife!
:'''Angry''': Who &lt;i&gt;is&lt;/i&gt; that person?!

=== The Secret Garden [1.10] ===
:''[Day two, 8:45 a.m. - kitchen inspection]''
:'''Gordon''': Jesus.
:''[Finds a chocolate terrine/marquis]''
:'''Gordon''': Ohh, fuck.
:''[Finds a rotten banana]''
:'''Gordon''': My goodness me.
:''[Sees mold]''
:'''Gordon''': Mould everywhere.
:''[Finds some broccoli]''
:'''Gordon''': The food's been in this fridge for so long, even the fridge is starting to get mouldy.
:''[Finds some more mold]''
:'''Gordon''': Look, just here. It's like mould caked on. This place hasn't been cleaned for years. Look, it's real mould.
:''[Finds a bottle that has become moldy]''
:'''Gordon''': It's been in that long, even the bottle's mouldy. This place is a health hazard. Mould is festering, so, potentially dangerous in terms of poisoning someone. This place can't stay open. The place is disgusting.
:''[Finds some potatoes that have been infested with maggots]''
:'''Gordon''': Maggots. Infested with maggots. Oh, God!
:''[Gordon rushes to a nearby restroom to vomit]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Devon''': (interview) It was good for him ''(Michel)'' to be humbled. Michel was of an opinion that &quot;Hey, if I want to serve dog shit on a plate and the customer doesn't like it, too bad.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': God, this guy ''(Michel)'' is fucking unbelievable. You know, that's one thing being that bad, that's solvable, but being in complete denial throughout is extraordinary. I've never met such a fucking hard-arse stubborn bullshitter in all my life.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Day three, 8:27 a.m. - closed for business]''
:'''Narrator''': Day three. Gordon is determined to get through to this stubborn chef with help from a little shock therapy.
:''[Signs read &quot;Closed for business&quot;, &quot;Foreclosed by bank&quot;, &quot;Closed&quot;, and &quot;Do not enter&quot;.]''
:'''Gordon''': Okay, a new day, and I'm determined that this guy is going to finally start listening to what I'm trying to say. So this morning, I've shut the place down, I've bought it up and I'll make him understand that if doesn't start changing and listening to what I'm trying to say, that's the end result.
:''[Referring to the &quot;Closed for business&quot; sign.]''
:'''Gordon''': And that's the end result that no restaurant wants to see.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[taking off his jacket]'' Fucking hell.
:'''Narrator''': With the restaurant on the verge of success, Chef Michel is insisting on reverting back to his old ways, and Gordon has reached his breaking point.
:'''Michel''': Thank you very much, I think it's great--
:'''Gordon''': Cut the bullshit. You don't care anymore, do you? Just get straight to the fucking answer.
:'''Michel''': No, I'm not cutting no bullshit. I'm just telling it like it is.
:'''Gordon''': Get straight to the fucking answer.
:'''Michel''': Okay? Alright? 
:'''Gordon''': Okay.
:'''Michel''': Alright, good. Your menu is not better than mine. You know?
:'''Gordon''': You're a donkey!
:'''Michel''': My food has been voted Best Chef in Ventura County.
:'''Gordon''': '''''WHAT?!'''''
:'''Michel''': Yeah, listen--
:'''Gordon''': Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on! Let me finish!! Let me finish!! You put your fucking hands up here, listen to me. '''You run a shit-hole of a kitchen! Fuck yourself!!''' Okay?!
:'''Michel''': No! No! No!
:'''Gordon''': '''''FUCK OFF!''''' '''WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TURN AROUND AND TELL ME, WHEN YOU WORK LIKE A PIG?!''' '''''YOU FRENCH PIG!!!'''''
:'''Michel''': Yeah, you know what...
:'''Gordon''': You lazy pig! You're so full of shit! Open your eyes and have a look around!
:'''Michel''': Big words, big mouth! Big mouth! You're not happy?
:'''Gordon''': '''I'm ''FUCKING'' happy!'''
:'''Michel''': You can get out! You can get out!
:'''Gordon''': Go on! ''[gives Michel the inverted V sign]'' Fuck yourself!
:'''Michel''': You can get out! It's my fucking kitchen!
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, is it? Well, if it's '''''YOUR FUCKING KITCHEN, THEN CLEAN IT, YOU LAZY CUNT!!!'''''
:'''Michel''': (flabbergasted) No!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[walking out of the building after arguing with Michel]'' I've got to get some air before I do something I really regret.

== Season 2 ==

=== Kitchen Nightmares Revisited: Gordon Returns [2.01] ===
:''[Revisiting Finn McCool's]''
:'''Gordon:''' How have you been?
:'''Buddy:''' Eh, I had a little glitch there for a little bit.
:'''Gordon:''' What happened?
:'''Buddy:''' I had a heart attack.
:'''Gordon:''' What?!
:'''Brian:''' (interview) My father's heart attack was a very traumatizing experience in a lot of different ways.
:'''Jason:''' (interview) And it was bad. The doctor told him he could have died.
:'''Melissa:''' (interview) That was a very scary time, realizing how close we were to losing him. It was beyond scary.
:'''Buddy:''' I was down for a few weeks, actually. And I was shocked-- the three of them stepped up, took the bull by the horns, and when I came back everything was perfect.
:'''Melissa:''' (interview) I don't think last year we could've done it. If this would've happened before Ramsay came, I think Finn McCool's would've been doors locked, done.
:'''Gordon:''' Bloody good to see you. 
:'''Buddy:''' Yeah?
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah. Honestly. ''[shakes Buddy's hand. Buddy has quite a grip]'' There it is-- I swear to God. Honestly, I feel like you crushed my fingers. It'll take three days for the blood to go back.

=== Handlebar [2.02] ===
:'''Mary Jane''': Seafood crêpes...
:'''Gordon''': Wow.
:'''Mary Jane''': There's crab in there, there's lobster and some shrimp in there also.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you.
:'''Mary Jane''': No problem.
:'''Gordon''': ''[Cutting through his crêpes]'' Ai-ai-ai.
:'''Billy''': Chef Ramsay seems to have a habit to take his food apart, before he eats it. So, I'm looking forward to hearing what he has to say.
:'''Carolyn''': Uh oh, here we go.
:'''Mary Jane''': How was everything?
:'''Gordon''': Rubbery. Um, the scallops are... firm.
:'''Carolyn''': Uh oh.
:'''Gordon''': The prawns are way overcooked.
:'''Carolyn''': Oh, God.
:'''Gordon''': And the crab meat, it's plastic.
:'''Mary Jane''': It's imitation crab meat.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah... if you told me it's imitation crab meat, I wouldn't order it.
:'''Carolyn''': Oh God, help me.
:'''Mary Jane''': Well, that was a disaster.
:'''Gordon''': Seafood crêpe? Yeah... that's seafood ''crap''.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': When was the last time this fridge was cleaned?
:'''Melissa''': A week ago.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, come on, this hasn't been cleaned in years.
:'''Billy''': No, it has.
:'''Gordon''': No, it hasn't, I'm sorry. Twenty-one years in the business, I'll bet every fucking dollar that I have, this fucking place hasn't been cleaned in years.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Un-fucking-believeable. So that just proves and confirms how weak this guy is. He's not running this place, this place is running him, and is in need of a fucking serious clean. That is appalling.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' I’m fucking pissed off and I’m upset at the kind of shit that I just discovered in there.
:'''Billy:''' Time to drag me through the mud some more. It is what it is.
:'''Gordon:''' You don’t seem one fucking ounce bothered about it, Billy. You can’t just stick your head back in the sand and ignore it, Billy!
:'''Billy:''' Sure, you can. What do you want me to do? Flip out, yell, and scream like you do? That’s not my way.
:'''Gordon:''' The responsibility is yours, Billy.
:'''Billy:''' I guess if you want something done right, I guess you have to do it yourself.
:'''Gordon:''' But why—
:'''Billy:''' Maybe I just get rid of everybody in the restaurant and I’ll do it all myself!
:'''Gordon:''' (sarcastically) Great idea!
:'''Billy:''' You know, when it doesn’t work out and then when I drop dead because I fucking sleep two hours a day, then maybe it’ll get done or maybe... who cares? Once you’re dead, it doesn’t make a difference anyway.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, come on! Now I feel you’re copping out on me now.
:'''Billy:''' Because now I’m just getting dragged through the mud and...
:'''Gordon:''' You’re a weak man, Billy.
:'''Billy:''' I really just had enough. (interview) I was not going to be ridiculed just for the sake of needing his help. (normal) Finished.
:'''Gordon:''' Can you at least talk to me?
:'''Billy:''' Nope.
:''[inside, Billy is sitting at the bar and drinking]''
:'''Gordon:''' Billy, can you talk to me please?
:'''Billy:''' Nope. I’ve nothing to say.
:''[later...]''
:'''Gordon:''' Billy?
:'''Billy:''' I wouldn’t talk to my dog the way you talked to me. Go fuck yourself. (walks away from the bar) That’s right. (interview) The hell with everything. I’ll make it work myself without his help. Everything in my life that I’ve ever set out to do, I did on my own. (normal) I’m finished with this crap. (takes off lapel mic and receiver and throws them on the bar table before walking out of Handlebar) I’m done.
:'''Gordon:''' What a weak man. (walks outside to look for Billy) BILLY!

=== Giuseppi's [2.03] ===
:'''Gordon''': Why are we serving potato skins? Do you want to come to an &quot;authentic Italian restaurant&quot; with potato skins?
:'''Sam''': Definitely not.
:'''Joe''': A lot of people come here with their kids, and their kids don't want--
:'''Gordon''': Hey, I've lived in Italy. I've seen Italian families, the way they eat together. They don't serve fucking children in Italy potato skins with plastic cheese, I can assure you.

=== Trobiano's [2.04] ===
:'''Gordon''': The décor matches the clientèle. Drab, fuddy-duddy, and seriously old-fashioned. I feel like I've come to see my granny in a retirement home.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Pat''': The Trobiano's salad is excellent. It's chopped.
:'''Gordon''': Why would you chop it?
:'''Pat''': People seem to love it.
:'''Gordon''': Is that because of their teeth?

=== Black Pearl [2.05] ===
:'''Gordon''': A restaurant run by three passionate owners? No chance. Brian, he works two days a week. David, well I don't trust him one little inch. And as for Greg, well he's pissed off at both of them. Basically in a nutshell, Sleepy, Dopey, and Grumpy. Who am I? [[w:Snow White|Snow fucking White]]?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': You tell me about the passion with the Maine lobsters. Are you aware that the lobsters in your fridge are Canadian?
:'''David''': Same waters, North Atlantic waters.
:'''Gordon''': You're telling me now...a Canadian lobster, half the price of a Maine lobster, is the same taste and flavour? There's a big difference. I can't get Maine lobsters.
:'''David''': That's right, so they get them from Canada.
:'''Gordon''': I'm using Canadian lobsters.
:'''David''': That's right. That's what they do.
:'''Gordon''': But I don't advertise them as &quot;Maine.&quot; 
:'''David''': You tell me, is it a different animal?
:'''Gordon''': &quot;''Maine''&quot; is a &quot;''Canadian''&quot; lobster for you?
:'''David''': ''Homarus americanus.'' Same animal, right?
:'''Gordon''': Holy shit... 
:'''David''': I'm asking you a question.
:'''Gordon''': What you're trying to dictate to me is that you're selling &quot;Maine&quot; lobster - they're not from Maine.
:'''David''': Well, it comes from the same vendor.
:'''Gordon''': ''[at a loss]'' Holy shit! The award-winning Maine lobster roll...is Canadian!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[to David]'' You're so full of fucking shit that you'd make a great politician.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': You amaze me.
:'''David''': What?
:'''Gordon''': Because all week long, face-to-face, you fucking pretend to care.
:'''David''': Oh, fuck, Gordon. Come on.
:'''Gordon''': You don't give two fucks about this place. 
:'''David''': Really?
:'''Gordon''': You're not passionate about running a restaurant. 
:'''David''': Really?
:'''Gordon''': You're just abusing it and using it.
:'''David''': How did I- what, what, what did I do?
:'''Gordon''': I've never met an individual that's so full of shit in all my life. 
:'''David''': How have I been lying to you, Gordy? How? Tell me.
:'''Gordon''': ''Gordy''?
:'''David''': Yeah, how? You want to disrespect me, I can disrespect you too. But tell me how I'm lying to you.
:'''Gordon''': I'm not ''disrespecting'' you. I'm telling you the ''truth''.
:'''David''': No, you're disrespecting me because you don't know the truth.
:'''Gordon''': You're just massaging your fucking ego.
:'''David''': Gordon, bullshit.
:'''Gordon''': What do you mean, bullshit?
:'''David''': Not true.
:'''Gordon''': From the first minute you walked in this fucking door, standing there with your big long coat and your fucking sunglasses looking like proud cock, that was it. First impressions. Then you start debating lobsters because you think you're some smart-arse on the back of few fucking shit dive books. ''[flashback]'' Are you aware that the lobsters in your fridge are Canadian?
:'''David''': ''[flashback]'' ''Homarus americanus.'' Same animal, right?
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Humanus americanus&quot;, my arse-us.
:'''David''': Hmm.
:'''Gordon''': With 21 restaurants under my belt, I work my fucking arse off.
:'''David''': So what? So what?
:'''Gordon''': And I never take anything for granted.
:'''David''': ''[sarcastically]'' Fascinating, Gordon.
:'''Gordon''': You treat the staff like shit. You amaze me.
:'''David''': Never. Never did that.
:'''Gordon''': Excuse me?
:'''David''': Never. ''[flashback]'' Cat, it's policy here for you not to have a drink here after your shift, but you often do. ''[normal]'' Never.
:'''Gordon''': You can't even be honest with yourself, let alone me. Mate, you've been exposed.
:'''David''': Exposed?
:'''Gordon''': You're a hypocrite.
:'''David''': Is that right?
:'''Gordon''': Absolutely. For you, it's about a fucking TV show. This man ''[points to Greg]'', it's about a restaurant. Fuck the TV, David. And, I mean fuck it. This is real for me. And for you, it's an image.
:'''David''': I disagree with you on almost everything you said.
:'''Gordon''': You do?
:'''David''': Yeah, I do.
:'''Gordon''': Why do you disagree?
:'''David''': Because you're wrong. The great Gordon Ramsay is wrong.
:'''Gordon:''' You're a sad fuck. My advice would be for him ''[points to Greg]'' to get his partners, get your money out—yeah?—and disappear.
:'''David:''' Yeah, alright. My advice would be for you to disappear, and the sooner the better.
:'''Gordon:''' You don’t get it, do you?
:'''David:''' Fuck you, Gordon; of course I get it.
:'''Gordon:''' This restaurant has every chance of succeeding... but not while you are in it, because you’re not passionate. You’re soulless.
:'''David:''' Say what you like. Let me get out of here.
:'''Gordon:''' You’re ungrateful.

=== J Willy's [2.06] ===
''[Gordon is served a loaded baked potato pizza]''
:'''Gordon''': Holy mackerel. That's the strangest pizza I've ever seen. ''[looks at a table of four priests dining nearby]'' I'm gonna ask my beloved father to bless my food ''[gets up to the priests' table]''. Gentlemen can I ask a quick favour?
:'''Priest''': Yes. What's that?
:'''Gordon''': Would you mind just blessing my food?
:'''Priest''': Oh, sure.
:''[cut to Rick hanging and shaking his head in shame; a priest is now standing at Gordon's table]''
:'''Gordon''': Would you be so kind?
:'''Priest''': Absolutely. Oh good and gracious God we ask you to bless this food. Bless chef Gordon as he is about to receive it and that it may nourish him. We ask Jesus Christ, our lord. Amen.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you, fingers crossed. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Gordon has sent back the ribs for being untrimmed and doused in a poor sauce]''
:'''Rick''': ''[to J Willy]'' Dude, we're serving him an untrimmed rib, man.
:'''J Willy''': What do you want trimmed off it?
:'''Rick''': The faaat. ''[voice cracks]''
:'''J Willy''': All ribs have fat on them.
:'''Rick''': (interview) John doesn't get it. He's ordering an inferior rib. He's trying to cut corners. I'm just so frustrated that I feel like banging my head against the wall.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Gordon is served the pulled pork sandwich]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[removes the layer of melted cheese]'' Processed cheese that's just like glue ''[tastes]''. Pulled pork sandwich? Yeah, that's... pulled straight out of the bin. Sweet, tastes of nothing, and... ''absolutely'' ghastly.
:''[Gordon watches as a waitress serves a pulled pork sandwich to the priests]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh dear, they have the pulled pork sandwich. ''[gets up to the priests' table]'' Oh, um. Sorry, excuse me. ''[takes the sandwich from the priests]'' Forgive me father, for they have sinned and ''[priests laugh]'' I, out of respect for you guys, you're not going to eat that okay?
:'''Priest''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': I will go straight to hell.
:''[cut to Rick and John &quot;J Willy&quot; Ittenbach watching]''
:'''Rick''': ''[shakes his head]'' Oh man.
:'''Gordon''': ''[walking towards the kitchen]'' Forgive me; they have sinned.
:'''Narrator''': After saving the priests from an ungodly meal...
:'''Gordon''': ''[walking around the kitchen]'' Dear, oh dear.
:'''Narrator''': Gordon's anxious to meet the creative minds responsible for the food.
:'''Gordon''': ''[handshakes a chef]'' Jeff, Gordon. Are you the chef?
:'''J Willy''': We don't really have a chef.
:'''Gordon''': How come we don't have a chef?
:'''J Willy''': The recipes don't really change. Everything's prepared the same way.
:'''Gordon''': You seem to stand proud of that.
:'''J Willy''': The menu is designed to cut a lot of the labour out.
:'''Gordon''': Cut a lot of labour out... and serve shit?
:'''Rick''': (interview) I'm finally glad that I have somebody who agrees with me as far as the standards on the menu. John doesn't listen to me. Hopefully he'll listen to Gordon

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''J Willy''': (interview) When Chef Gordon pulled those potato skins out, I knew he had found something that I wasn't going to like.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon''': We sat here wondering why this business is on its arse. It starts with the top job, it's called responsibility. (to J Willy) No wonder you've given up.
:'''J Willy''': (interview) I've been in denial, I've lowered my standards, and it takes somebody like a Gordon Ramsay to come in and wake you up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rick''': (interview) I wanted to crawl under the table and hide my face so that people wouldn't associate me with such &quot;crap&quot;.

=== Hannah &amp; Mason's [2.07] ===
:'''Gordon''': What a beautiful, quaint little town. I can't think of a better way to spend Valentine's Day than at Hannah &amp;... (sees that the sign is missing the N from &quot;Mason's&quot;) Maso's? I guess they couldn't afford the &quot;N.&quot; That's not a good start.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Well, ''thestaffreallylovetheonionsoup'', that's for sure.
:'''Marie''': We're gonna start with onion soup.
:'''Chris''': Okay. ''(Interview)'' Some people might say, &quot;Oh, French onion soup is French onion soup is French onion soup&quot;. But I think ours have a distinct, you know, presentation.
:'''Gordon''': ''(After being served the soup)'' Wow. Let's start off with 0 out of 10 for presentation. 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon goes down to the walk in fridge]''
:'''Gordon''': I cannot believe that this is how you guys are running a restaurant!
:'''Chris''': (interview) Through my head, I was thinking &quot;We're going to be screwed!&quot;
:'''Gordon''': That's what in there?
:'''Chris''': That's the walk-in freezer.
:'''Gordon''': That's the walk-in freezer? Look at the mess in here! What's this here?
:'''Brian''': Bacon.
:'''Gordon''': Bacon. Yeah, obviously bacon, smart-arse! That's from lunch? Yeah, five years ago! You leave a spatula in there like that? I'm sorry. No. Fuck off. I cannot believe what you guys are doing here.
:'''Chris''': There was so much going on. My head was spinning. My head was about to explode. I thought to myself, this is a disaster.
:'''Gordon''': What's that in there?
:'''Brian''': Shit that didn't get put away?
:'''Gordon''': (finds cooked chicken sitting next to raw chicken.) Oh, my god.
:'''Chris''': I don't know what the fuck...
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck off! Oh, my god! Oh, no!
:'''Chris''': This is not good.
:'''Gordon''': RAW CHICKEN!
:'''Brian''': That should never happen, you know?
:'''Gordon''': Oh my god! CHRIS, THERE'S FUCKING CHICKEN AGAINST RAW CHICKEN!!
:'''Chris''': It's fucking...
:'''Gordon''': (to Brian) HEY, PANINI-HEAD! LISTEN TO ME!
:'''Brian''': Yes?
:'''Gordon''': YOU'RE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE! I'VE EATEN HERE!! Partners? Partners in crime! You should be ashamed.
:'''Brian''': We are ashamed.
:'''Gordon''': You've just contaminated the town! (Leaves the walk-in) Hey, Nick. Nick! Stop! Right now, this is not a romantic eat-out. This is a Valentine fucking massacre! IT'S A DISGRACE! How can you do this!? I'm closing this place down. SWITCH IT OFF!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[after Gordon shuts the kitchen down]''
:'''Gordon''': What I've just discovered is totally unacceptable. Enough is enough. Chris?
:'''Chris''': Yes, sir?
:'''Gordon''': You are passionate about food. You feel deeply about it. I want to hear it.
:'''Chris''': I'm ready. I'm ready to tear it down and start over.
:'''Gordon''': You've got a big pair of bollocks facing those customers tonight. What can be said about the &quot;partner&quot; you are in business with? (to Brian) Where were you? How many tables did you talk to? How many customers did you apologise to?
:'''Brian''': None.
:'''Gordon''': How much support did you give the waiters, the manager?
:'''Brian''': None.
:'''Gordon''': Right. You were doing jack-shit tonight. You make me sick.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Inspired by the fresh locally-grown apples, Chef Ramsay heads back to the restaurant to work on a special he has in mind for tonight's dinner service.
:'''Gordon''': Right. What are they called.
:'''Brian''': (unenthusiastically) Apples?
:'''Gordon''': Apples, fucking smart-arse.

=== Jack's Waterfront [2.08] ===
:''[Gordon has just ordered a &quot;krab&quot; omelet...]''
:'''Gordon: ''' Wow,  look at the size of that. That's a lot of &quot;krab.&quot; And you haven't told me about the &quot;K&quot; yet.
:'''Erica:''' Oh, he said he wanted everybody to know that it wasn't real crab, it's artificial crab. So he spelled it with a &quot;K&quot; so there was no misconception.
:'''Gordon: ''' So it's fake crab meat?
:'''Erica: ''' Uh-huh.
:'''Gordon: ''' In a seafood restaurant, on the water?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After taking a bite of some rubbery fish and chips]''
:'''Gordon: ''' When you take a bite of that cod, it's almost like you've got a breaded condom in your mouth.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[During a kitchen inspection]''
:'''Gordon: ''' This is salmon that is marinated in... that looks like... ''[he smells it]'' an Italian dressing. Oh dear. ''[finds tuna that has been dyed pink]'' What's this? Seafood restaurant on the water. Tuna that's dyed pink to make it look authentic. Look at it, my God. Unbelieveable. And here we have... ''[he finds a risotto]'' That looks like a mushroom risotto, grey risotto. Unbelieveable.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon shows the chefs some beef bits.]''
:'''Gordon: ''' What is that there
:'''AJ:''' I believe it's beef bits.
:'''Gordon: ''' Beef bits in blood.
:'''Scott: ''' Nasty.

=== Sabatiello's [2.09] ===
:''[Sampling the Italian wedding soup]''
:'''Sammy''': That's to get them in the mood to get married.
:'''Gordon''': Jesus. I’d rather get fucking divorced.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Dover sole stuffed with imitation crab meat is being sent back to the kitchen]''
:'''Sammy''': What's the matter with this?
:'''Marco''': She said it's not fresh, she said it's no good.
:'''Gordon''': It's fucking watery.
:'''Sammy''': Let me have a taste. How bad is it? ''[tastes it]'' It's not bad though! It's not bad! It's not bad! ''[Gordon tastes it and spits it out.]'' Ohhhh, no! Come on! He spits it out. It's not bad.
:'''Gordon''': You're fucking delusional. It's mushy. It's watery. It's fake.
:'''Sammy''': It's not the right crab meat. You're right.
:'''Gordon''': And it's fucking disgusting. You're jumping up and down like a big fucking baboon and &quot;Ho, ho! It's good! Whoo!&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Watching this restaurant perform is embarrassing. Fake fucking crab meat inside of sole? It's pretty obvious, it's become the appendix of restaurants in Stamford. You just want to get rid of it and get it out. ''[walks back inside the restaurant]'' Bollocks.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': With food now coming back, it's a perfect opportunity for Gordon to witness Sammy's customer service skills.
:'''Sammy''': How did you want your meat cooked? Did you want it rare?
:'''Lady''': I wanted it medium rare.
:'''Sammy''': So can we make you another one? Will you wait or you don't want it all?
:'''Lady''': I'll wait, but the thing is I don't want you to stick it back in a microwave.
:'''Sammy''': No, we're going to throw that out and make you a new one. Nobody's talking about microwave. You're the one who's talking about microwave.
:'''Lady''': It came out of a microwave, otherwise it wouldn't be exuding heat.
:'''Sammy''': Do you work for a microwave company? You know so much about microwave. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Get the fuck out of here. Tell her to take a hike.
:'''Customers''': That is rude. Wow. To speak to a customer like that, that's disgusting.
''[Later when the lamb is recooked and brought back to the lady, the restaurant breaks out in applause]''
:'''Sammy''': No wait, we're not done yet. I want to see you cut into it. How is it? Is it still too rare?
:'''Lady''': You know what? I'm done. No more chances.
:'''Sammy''': Unbelievable. (interview) Oh my god. I just wanted to pick her up and throw her out. There's a right way and a wrong way of handling something like that and she was totally wrong.

=== Fiesta Sunrise [2.10] ===
:'''Gordon''': When were these done?
:'''Vic''': Yesterday?
:'''Gordon''': Yesterday? Fuck off, Vic, please. They weren't done yesterday. Okay. You can ask him in his own language; ask him very, very quickly: &quot;When were these cooked?&quot;
:'''Vic''': (to a cook) ''¿Cuándo cocinaron de eso?'' (When did you cook that?)
:'''Cook''': ''En viernes.'' (On Friday.)
:'''Vic''': (to a cook) So this was from last week.
:'''Gordon''': Of course, they're from last week!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:[Gordon finds some fresh chives in the fridge.]
:'''Gordon''': What are these? (to Vic) Vic?
:'''Vic''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': These are fresh chives. Sell-by date, five months old.
:'''Vic''': Where'd you find that?
:'''Gordon''': I found it in the fucking fridge. Smell it.
:[Vic smells the chives.]
:'''Gordon''': Vic, look, let me just show you something.
:[Gordon shows Vic some fish.]
:'''Gordon''': What is that? Stop getting nervous now. Talk to me. What is this?
:'''Vic''': That's the fish we're using.
:'''Gordon''': That's the fish you're using? Oh, fuck me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon''': How old is this stuff?
:'''Vic''': Yesterday.
:'''Gordon''': Yesterday?!
:'''Patti''': He said, Friday.
:'''Gordon''': [finds slimy chicken] Look at that! Oh, my god. (cough) When's all this from?
:'''Patti''': Friday. He took it out Friday.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, everything's Friday? Let me just show you something, look how green and slimy that is. That's from Friday? Look at that, that's from Friday? Look at my fingers. Friday? Look, look (pours the juice from the tray). There you go. That's from Friday? How do you say in Spanish, &quot;This is not healthy&quot;?
:'''Patti''': ''No es saludable.'' (It is not healthy.)
:'''Gordon''': Thank you. What is going on in here? A hungry cat would walk away from that.
:'''Patti''':  (interview) I was mortified. I felt embarrassed for letting this go on for so long.
:'''Narrator''':  While customers in the dining room continue to eat sub-par food, Chef Ramsay's kitchen investigation intensifies.
:'''Gordon''': What is going on here?
:[Gordon finds a tray of burritos.]
:'''Gordon''': What's that?!!
:'''Vic''': The burritos.
:[Gordon finds a tray of chicken enchiladas.]
:'''Gordon''': What's that one?
:'''Vic''': The chicken enchiladas.
:'''Gordon''': Ugh! How?! 
: [Gordon finds a tray of ground beef with dried up fat covering it.]
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God! What's that?!
:'''Vic''': That was the ground beef.
:'''Gordon''': Ground beef?!! Half of it's fucking fat, you idiot! It's fatter than you!
:'''Patti''': (interview) I felt satisfied that finally somebody called him out on his bullshit.
: [Gordon finds a bucket of beans.]
:'''Gordon''': Oh, shit! What's that?
:'''Vic''': The beans.
:'''Gordon''': Ugh! How? It's like a cement mixer. Are you fucking stupid? Who's controlling this?
:'''Vic''': I am, chef.
:'''Gordon''': You are? You... are a walking disaster.
:'''Vic''': (interview) Now I'm feeling, like, like stupid.
:'''Gordon''': Lift it up. The fridge is full... of ''shit!'' It -- it's ''DISGUSTING!!'' I wasn't here on Saturday, but what were they expecting? Fucking ten thousand customers for lunch? Patti, I'm fucking disgusted. Yolanda, that's a joke.
:'''Yolanda''': I understand. (interview) I don't want people to get sick and I don't want them to spread the word that the food is bad here.
:'''Gordon''': (to Vic) You're overstaffed. Under-worked. SHIT food! I wouldn't trust you running a bath, let alone a ''fucking'' restaurant! You must be out of your tiny mind!
:'''Vic''': I care for the restaurant.
:[Gordon grabs the huge bucket full of stale re-fried beans]
:'''Gordon''': I want to take that out there. I dare you, take it out there. Go on, give it to them! Yeah, there you go.
:'''Vic''': Excuse me?
:'''Gordon''': Look at me! Why won't you take it out there?
:'''Vic''': That's embarrassing.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;It's embarrassing&quot;? WHY ARE YOU SERVING IT?! YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE!
:'''Vic''': Why?
:'''Gordon''': Why?! Because you're serving that and trying to charge people money for that. That's why you don't care.
:'''Vic''': I care for—
:'''Gordon''': YOU DON'T CARE SHIT! No fucking way!
:[Gordon picks up the bucket of beans, carries it through to the dining room, and places it on a table in front of the shocked diners]
:'''Gordon''': Fuck! Ladies and gentlemen! I'm so sorry, but we're stopping service. Everything you've had to drink, eat so far is all on the house. Sir, that thing you have in your hand, put it down! Because if you just seen where it came from like I have, you wouldn't be eating it. Very sorry. Close up. (to Vic) No bill anywhere!
:'''Vic''': (interview) I was like, &quot;What the hell are you doing?&quot; You can't do that to my customers.
:'''Gordon''': By the way, there's your re-fried beans on the way out. Have a look at them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator''': While the family cools off, Chef Ramsay heads to the kitchen to come up with a game plan to fix the restaurant's biggest plan — the food.
:''[Gordon sees that the kitchen is infested with cockroaches.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God. What in the fuck is that? That is a fucking joke.
:''[Gordon calls out Vic, Patti and Yolanda.]''
:'''Gordon''': I wanted us all to get involved, and doing something together, yeah? I wanted a fun element. You ''(Patti)'' make a burrito, you ''(Yolanda)'' make a burrito, you ''(Vic)'' make a burrito, and the best one goes on the menu tonight. That's what I wanted to do. I couldn't do it, because of these little fuckers here. LOOK AT THEM!
:''[We see that the kitchen is infested with dozens of cockroaches. The women look disgusted.]''
:'''Yolanda''': Oh, my god! (interview) I feel sick to my stomach. I want to throw up, because I had coffee here earlier, and I don't know if the roach went through my cup.
:'''Patti''': I didn't know about this problem either.
:'''Gordon''': Two dishwashers, two prep cooks. Who's cleaning around here? Do they seriously put food on those plates?
:'''Patti''': (interview) Vic's here seven days a week. I don't know how he didn't realize the problems in the kitchen.
:'''Gordon''': Can't you see these? I'm trying to move forward, I'm trying to get going, but every time I put my foot on the ladder, I get knocked back. Did you know this was like this?
:'''Vic''': I noticed, I noticed, but, uh...
:'''Gordon''': You knew it?
:'''Vic''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': We're going to have to do something! We cannot open, we need an exterminator. How can I start even attempting to think of a new menu when the place is festering with cockroaches?!
:'''Yolanda''': (interview) I didn't expect this. I don't think it could get worse, I don't even know what could make it worse at this point.
:'''Narrator''': After Chef Ramsay's dirty discovery, he immediately called in an exterminator.
:'''Yolanda''': I had no idea it was that bad.
:'''Gordon''': Bloody hell. I'm pulling my hair out now. I'm sorry, but you're running the place.
:'''Vic''': Sorry.
:'''Yolanda''': Vic, this is stupid.
:'''Gordon''': Where do I go, Vic?
:'''Vic''': Sorry.
:''[Gordon goes outside.]''
:'''Vic''': (interview) I'm embarrassed with Chef Ramsay. I don't think that I uh... we can make it a good restaurant.
:'''Gordon''': You can't run a fucking restaurant like that!
:'''Vic''': You think I'm mad? I'm fucking embarrassed now.
:'''Gordon''': You should be fucking embarrassed. I'm not putting one foot in that place until that place is fucking cleaned, yes?
:'''Vic''': You're right.
:'''Gordon''': Now you start getting those guys cleaning, yes?
:'''Vic''': Definitely.
:'''Gordon''': WITH SOME FUCKING PRIDE! Do you understand the word pride?!
:'''Vic''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': It's not possible for someone to have his head so far up his arsehole. Fuck me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' With customers in the restaurant, Chef Ramsay is anxious to impress them with something that Fiesta Sunrise has never had: fresh food.
:''[Gordon inspects a newly-cooked batch of rice]''
:'''Gordon:''' Bloody hell! Get me Yolanda, please. Fucking hell...
:''[Yolanda enters the kitchen, followed by Vic. Gordon shows her a fist-sized ball of rice]''
:'''Gordon:''' Yolanda, you cook at home, don't you? What's wrong with this?
:'''Yolanda:''' Overcooked.
:'''Gordon:''' Absolutely right. It's mush. We've got four chefs in the line, not one of them can cook rice?
:'''Yolanda:''' (interview) The cooks, they don't even know what they're doing. I realize how bad it is today.
:'''Gordon:''' I think you should start spending some time in here. Can you cook rice?
:'''Yolanda:''' Yes.
:''[Yolanda puts on an apron and starts cooking a fresh batch of rice. Gordon throws the old rice in the trash]''
:'''Gordon:''' Like a fucking golf ball!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Service, please! Pass it over.
:''[The cooks hand Gordon two plates of food, both of which are covered in large black chunks]''
:'''Gordon''': What's those black bits, coming from the...?
:'''Cook''': From the top.
:'''Gordon''': The top of the broiler? Jesus Christ almighty. When was the last time the broiler was cleaned?
:''[A server is shown talking to some diners in the dining room]''
:'''Server''': The chefs, now, they are crazy, you know.
:'''Customer 1''': But this place is half-full. What are you going to do when it's crowded, and there's people waiting outside?
:''[Back in the kitchen, Gordon checks the broiler]''
:'''Gordon''': This is unbelievable! What the fuck's happening?! When was the broiler cleaned last, gentlemen? If he fucking tells me Friday one more time, I'll boil him!
:'''Yolanda''': Every Sunday, they say.
:'''Gordon''': Every Sunday? My fucking arse!
:''[Cut back to the table seen earlier, where only two out of the six guests have any food]''
:'''Customer 2''': This is out of control. I mean, you've got your food, you've got your food.
:'''Customer 1''': Yep.
:''[In the kitchen, Gordon wipes the soot off his hands]''
:'''Gordon''': I've got four chefs who can't cook fucking rice, and soot all over the food. What is going on?! Fuck me. You're supposed to put ''salt'' on the food, not fucking soot!
:''[The table seen earlier starts walking out]''
:'''Gordon''': (to Vic) You can't employ these guys! One can't clean, one can't cook rice.
:'''Yolanda''': (interview) I never imagined how bad this restaurant was doing. I don't know what else could happen.
:'''Gordon''': (leaves the kitchen) I cannot come to terms with what the fuck is happening!

=== Sante La Brea [2.11] ===
:'''Gordon:''' What is that?
:'''Dean:''' Un-duck. It's... duck. But it's un-duck. Fake duck.
:'''Gordon:''' Fake duck? So you call it... what?
:'''Dean:''' We call it un-duck.
:'''Gordon:''' Un-duck? Right now I feel like I'm getting completely fucked. Is that popular?
:'''Dean:'''Yeah, it is, actually. A lot of people ask for that, too.
:'''Gordon:''' Un-duck... fucked up... ''[as he reaches in and pulls out more &quot;meat&quot;]''
:'''Dean:''' That's fake fish.
:'''Gordon:''' Fake fish? ''[sniffs, laughs and slides a hand under his collar]''
:'''Dean:''' It looks like fish, it tastes like fish, and it's got seaweed on the outside.
''[Gordon rolls the cutely molded, fish-shaped, food-like substance over in his hands.]''
:'''Dean: '''''[to audience]'' We have everything that's &quot;un&quot;.
''[Gordon strides into the walk-in, talking to audience.]''
:'''Gordon: ''' This is incredible. So far I've had un-duck, un-fish... un-fucking-believable. What a mess.

=== Cafe 36 [2.12] ===
:''[The food is delivered to the customers on carts, awkwardly]''
:'''Gordon''': I thought people got pushed into a mortuary on trolleys, no? Not serving food.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Gordon is inspecting the pantry and has found pans of wrapped up frozen fish floating in water]''
:'''Gordon''': Pinto? Certified exec! ''[Pinto walks to the pantry]'' What's going on here? What's all this stuff floating in water?
:'''Pinto''': That's the grouper taken out from the freezer to keep it fresh-frozen.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Fresh-frozen&quot;? 
:'''Pinto''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': There's no such thing! It's either fresh or it's frozen.
:'''Pinto''': ''[shrugs]'' I understand.
:'''Gordon''': ''[points to another tray]'' What's this in water?
:'''Pinto''': It's the salmon, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Frozen.
:'''Pinto''': It was a fresh-frozen. (interview) We keep it frozen, fresh-frozen, it tastes more fresh.
:'''Gordon''': It's mad! 
:'''Pinto''': It is-
:'''Gordon''': You're making all this fresh stuff, freezing it, then taking it out two portions at a time per day.
:'''Pinto''': Because it doesn't sell enough.
:'''Gordon''': What?!
:'''Pinto''': If you had to plan a business like this-
:'''Gordon''': It's got nothing to do with business. That's lazy! Everything's frozen!
:''[Cut to sous chef Barney washing dishes and watching the argument]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[with a brick of frozen stuffing]'' Trout stuffing. So we take it out, we slow-thaw it. ''[Pinto doesn't react]'' Yeah, it's cold ''[puts the brick to his cheek]'', cold, &quot;brrr&quot;, cold. Slow-thaw. We stuff the trout, then we re-freeze the trout. ''[nods angrily]''
:'''Pinto''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': ''[throws the brick]'' I rest my case, certified jerk.
:'''Pinto''': (interview) Chef thought that the grouper was a strong smell. ''[shrugs]'' That's the chef's ahhhh opinion.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Cafe 36's biggest problem is the long wait times for your meal.]''
:'''Female Customer''': I feel like I'm drinking more than I'm eating.&lt;br /&gt;
:'''Male Customer''': I think they got to catch the shrimp first.&lt;br /&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Eduardo, no wonder you've grown so old. You've aged waiting for the last main course. ''[Eduardo and the other servers laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[It's the middle of February 2008 and head chef Pinto is serving asparagus for the 'veggie of the day']''
:'''Gordon''': What are these up here for? They're not even in season, asparagus, are they?
:'''Pinto''': No. Not right now, they're very expensive.
:'''Gordon''': They're very expensive, so why have you got them on?
:'''Pinto''': They're veggie of the day.
:'''Gordon''': Veggie of the day? Aren't you bothered about the cost?
:'''Pinto''': It comes from a different part of the world, Chef. We can get it.
:'''Gordon''': 'It comes from a different part of the world'? ''[to Barney]'' Are you listening to this?! ''[to Pinto]'' It's the most expensive vegetable on the market. You want that?! And it's out of season! And you just put them on four dishes!

== Season 3 ==

=== Hot Potato Cafe [3.01] ===
:'''Gordon:''' You just served me three-week-old frozen potato skins that have no potato inside. I feel like I'm a potato organ donor.

=== Flamango's [3.02] ===
:'''Gordon:''' Adele, what do you think?
:'''Adele:''' ''(Shaking her head)'' I don't like it.
:'''Gordon:''' You don't like it?
:'''Adele:''' I hate blue.
:'''Gordon:''' Unbelievable.
:'''Waitress:''' I'm dumbfounded. I don't think I have ever heard anyone say they hate the color blue!
:'''Adele:''' I hate it.
:'''Bill:''' You hate it?
:'''Adele:''' Hate it. How can you be positive about something you hate? Ugly. I wanna throw up. I hate it! Hate, hate, hate. Oh my God.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Gordon and the staff are getting rid of Flamangos' tropical decor, much to the dismay of Cheryl]''
:'''Cheryl:''' &lt;b&gt;[https://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Darth-Vader-No-Gif.gif NOOOOOOOOO!!!]&lt;/b&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' What do you mean, no?
:'''Cheryl:''' That's Willy, my alligator!
:'''Gordon:''' Trust me, I need him. In the truck!
:'''Cheryl:''' &lt;i&gt;(interview)&lt;/i&gt; I can't believe Chef Ramsay grabbed &lt;i&gt;my alligator&lt;/i&gt; and just threw it in the truck. Just threw it in there...!

=== Bazzini [3.03] ===
:''[Gordon's mushroom risotto is stuck to the plate and won't move around on it]''
:'''Gordon:''' Is that normal? The Amazing Bazzini's Risotto. Woohoo! (twirls the plate around) Wow, that's extraordinary, no? Doesn't even move.

=== Mojito [3.04] ===

=== Lido di Manhattan Beach [3.05] ===
:''[on the restaurant's clunky and outdated POS system]''
:'''Gordon''': POS. Piece of shit. This is the biggest headache inside the restaurant. They press less buttons at NASA, launching astronauts into space!

=== Le Bistro [3.06] ===
:'''Andy :''' If this restaurant closes, the last thing I wanna do is work for some idiot somewhere else. I hate idiots.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' (about Andy) This is unbelievable, because there’s a lot of similarities between Andy and I. We’re both English and we both studied in Paris, but there’s one thing we don’t share in common: I care about my customers. He clearly doesn’t give a shit. What a shame.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Andy:''' I’m a loser, everybody. I’m the worst.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' Talk to me, &quot;chef.&quot;
:'''Andy:''' My name’s Andy.
:'''Gordon:''' (scoffs, whispers under breath) Cunt.

=== Casa Roma [3.07] ===

:'''Gordon''': This is incredible. Right through those doors has to be for me one of the worst restaurants I've ever seen in my entire cooking career. The chef doesn't give a fuck, the owner's completely clueless and not any form of communication between the kitchen and the restaurant and the management. It's a fucking shambles.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[8:58 PM, two hours into dinner service]''
:'''Gordon''': What are we waiting on now, Ashley?
:'''Ashley''': I'm still waiting on: chicken pancotta with penne marinara, an individual kids pepperoni pizza, half order spaghetti with meat sauce, eggplant parmesean with angel and meat, chicken pancotta angel with marinara, three chicken parms and a veal Parmesan ...for just one table. (interview) I felt like crying because it was that embarrassing for me.
:'''Gordon''': Erick.
:'''Erick''': Yes, sir.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, can I have your undivided attention?
:'''Erick''': Sure.
:'''Gordon''': Nothing's happening. We served one table of four, one table of two. For the last three tickets, half the order's gone out, half is still on the board. You haven't got a clue what's going on. You're (Drew) running around crazy. What chance have we got serving 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, tables? You asked for one more crack at lunch time. &quot;Let me go big boy! Let me go! I want to do it again!&quot; We're spinning around and serving shit! Do me a favour, close the fucking restaurant! I can't stand any longer and watch that embarrassment. ''[takes all eight tickets from the board]''
:'''Nylah''': ''[in the dining room to the customers]'' As of now, we're not gonna be serving any more dinners tonight.
:'''Gordon''': I need the door fucking closed! Forget it! 
:'''Ashley''': Alright.
:'''Nylah''': ''[to a customer]'' We're done. Good night.
:'''Gordon''': This is a joke guys! You're pissed off, you're frustrated. ''[Erick walks out]'' Forget it! Good night!
:'''Ashley''': (interview) What restaurant stops their business and tells everybody that they have to leave? There's no excuse.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Nylah, outside]'' I don't even know where to start with a chef that can't even cook something basic. Why are you pulling a chef that is that incompetent? Darling, he's not in the slightest bit interested in fucking making it work, doesn't give a fuck about his cooking, doesn't give a fuck about you, and he's here for one thing and one thing only: money. And the only restaurant that fucking guy will ever get a job is in a restaurant that doesn't have any customers. If you've got any chance of surviving here, get rid of him. ''[Nylah shakes her head]'' What are you scared of? Talk to me, there's gotta be something.
:'''Nylah''': Where am I going to find another chef?
:'''Gordon''': Drew. What's wrong with Drew?
:'''Nylah''': Drew, I think can carry it on.
:'''Gordon''': So get rid of him!
:'''Nylah''': Okay. ''[walks off]''
:'''Gordon''': Fuck me, un-fucking-believable.
:'''Erick''': Babe, I'm sorry.
:'''Nylah''': I know, no, no, just wait a minute. Jeremy come here.
:'''Erick''': I feel real bad.
:'''Nylah''': The whole thing is, this isn't the first time you've let us down. I just can't do it. I know but I just can't do it. Erick, I gotta make-you guys get your paycheck every week. Jeremy and I never take a dime out of here.
:'''Erick''': We understand that.
:'''Nylah''': I know but I mean, the whole thing is not going to work because you...
:'''Erick''': Okay so what do you want to do?
:'''Nylah''': I-we're going to part ways.
:'''Erick''': Okay that's no problem. Dammit! I fucked on that deal.
:'''Nylah''': (interview) He couldn't pull off lunch, couldn't pull off dinner and so we just had to let him go. You know I can't do this.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[8:30 AM, day two - kitchen inspection.]''
:'''Gordon''': Last twenty four hours was one of the toughest days ever spent in a restaurant. Last night, we did get rid of the chef which was a positive move. Now I need Drew to step up to the mark, Jeremy to support his mother more...I got here early so I can check out the place properly. With no interference.
:''[Inside the refrigeration unit]''
:Jesus... Christ almighty, where do we start in a place like this? ''[looking at a roast beef]'' Roast beef, dating back when? ''[looking at meat that has been defrosting]'' What is that there? Just meat defrosting, again no sign of what it is. ''[looking at a parma ham that is moldy]'' Fresh parma ham, it's caked in mould. This is outrageous. ''[he touches the base of it, and it stuck on his hand]'' Look at it. It sticks in your fucking hand, it's that rancid. ''[looking at a rack of ribs, which made him sick]'' Woh, fucking hell. That's just over three months old. ''[he smells it]'' Jesus Christ almighty. Oh God. ''[he ran to a bin to puke]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': After witnessing one of the worst kitchen walk-ins he has ever seen, Gordon moves on to an area outside the kitchen that restaurants are judged upon - the bathroom.
:'''Gordon''': One of the best ways to check the hygiene of any restaurant is always through these bathrooms. Turn that [a blue UV light] on, and turn the lights off. Right, this can be quite scary. ''[he checks out one of the walls]'' Oh my good God. Green and yellow identifies bodily fluids. Any form of bleach or any form of cleaning will be identified through the colour blue, but the body fluids on here is extraordinary. ''[he checks the ceiling]'' Look, as high as the ceiling, oh my God. Even the ceiling's caked in it, OH MY GOD! This is shocking. ''[a sign reads &quot;Wash your heads&quot;]'' Wash your hands, yeah. Honestly, I've seen enough. Let's get the fuck out of here.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': (to Nylah) Nylah, the state of that fridge in there confirms whoever's running this place in terms of kitchen management has given up. They don't give a fuck about you, and they don't give a fuck about standards.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': (to Nylah) Having a dirty refrigeration unit is one thing. Having a filthy bathroom is something that fucking scares the hell out of me.
:''[They went to the bathroom.]''
:'''Gordon''': This thing here [the blue UV light] detects body fluids. Just have a look at this.
:'''Nylah''': That's body fluids up there?
:'''Gordon''': That there has got nothing to do with any form of cleaning. Look at the fucking state of this. Green, green, green, green, green. And here's where it gets really scarry.
:''[The UV light is shown towards the ceiling.]''
:'''Nylah''': How the hell did it get up there? (interview) It looked like somebody may have peed on the ceiling, the walls, the doors, you know. It could be a throw-up. I can't even imagine, you know. And it made me sick, I didn't even want to touch the door-knob coming out myself.

=== Mama Rita's [3.08] ===
:'''Laura:''' This is Cheryl, this is my manager.
:'''Gordon:''' And you manage the kitchen and the front of the house?
:'''Cheryl:''' Um, front of the house.
:'''Laura:''' Catering...
:'''Cheryl:''' ...and I do catering as well.
:'''Gordon:''' What's wrong with the place?
:'''Cheryl:''' Lack of customers...
:'''Gordon:''' So why have we got lacking the customers?
:'''Cheryl:''' We need more customers, we need to figure out how to get more people in here...
:'''Gordon:''' ''[covering his face with his hand in disbelief]'' Ok. Thank you, and you're the manager?
:'''Cheryl:''' Yeah...
:'''Gordon:''' Oh my God...! A manager that didn't even know what's wrong with the restaurant is scary.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' To make the transition from cooking frozen to fresh, Chef Ramsay has just the challenge in mind to inspire Laura and her chef, Perla.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[points to plates of fresh chicken breasts and shrimps]'' Chicken, shrimp. I've got steak here. 30 minutes. We'll have a cook-off now. Choose between the shrimp and the chicken and cook something really delicious. One minute gone, let's go.
:''[Laura takes the shrimp and Perla takes the chicken breasts]''
:'''Laura:''' (interview) It felt good working with fresh ingredients. It was fun to just grab something and just throw it all together and come up with something good.
:''[Laura and Gordon are cooking while Perla is still stunned]''
:'''Perla:''' Let me think, let me think...
:'''Gordon:''' What's the matter?
:'''Perla:''' Thinking.
:'''Gordon:''' You're thinking?
:'''Perla:''' (interview) I'm really nervous because I no have idea for what I cook.
:'''Gordon:''' 15 minutes left.
:'''Perla:''' Ai yai yai!
:'''Laura:''' Perla, get moving! (interview) I was nervous about what she was making. ''[to Perla]'' No pressure, Perla. (interview) The creativity seems not to be present.
:'''Gordon:''' 5 minutes, get ready to plate yeah?
:'''Laura:''' Yep.
:''[The trio begin plating their dishes]''
:'''Gordon:''' Ready? Let's go.
:'''Laura:''' Alright, let's go.
:''[The trio bring their dishes out to the dining room in front of the restaurant staff]''
:'''Narrator:''' Chef Ramsay not only wants the staff to taste the difference between frozen and fresh...
:'''Gordon:''' Not a single item on the plate defrosted anywhere!
:'''Narrator:''' ...he's also looking for the staff to choose which of the three dishes goes on tonight's menu.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, ''[gestures to Laura]'' what is it?
:'''Laura:''' They are blackened shrimp tacos.
:'''Cheryl:''' That looks good.
:'''Gordon:''' Darling, ''[gestures to Perla]'' what is it?
:'''Perla:''' Garlic ''bret''.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[slightly confused]'' Garlic ''bress''...? With...?
:'''Perla:''' Garlic and salt.
:'''Gordon:''' Garlic and salt put on the chicken breast? ''[Perla nods]''
:'''Laura:''' (interview) She just said &quot;garlic, salt&quot; and that's it. It wasn't very creative and umm, that scares me.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, I've got a Florence steak, beautifully marinated. Mango salsa, served with a little bit ''[Perla and Laura groan in defeat]'' of pickled vegetables, finished with an avocado butter.
:'''Staff:''' Yum.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, let's go. Take a taste.
:''[The staff begin tasting the dishes]''
:'''Cheryl:''' ''[tastes Gordon's dish]'' Oh it's so good. (interview) It was amazing to taste Chef Ramsay's dish. You could tell it was gonna taste good just by looking at it.
:''[Robert takes a bite of a shrimp taco]''
:'''Laura:''' How do you-Robert, what do you think of the shrimp?
:'''Robert:''' Really good. ''[Laura does a happy dance]''
:''[The staff taste Perla's dish]''
:'''Waitress:''' ''[quietly, to Robert]'' How's the chicken?
:'''Cheryl:''' (interview) Perla's dish had no flavour. ''[to Gordon]'' It's a little bland. (interview) It needs something to spice it up.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, good. Which dish goes on the menu?
:'''Waitress:''' The mango salsa.
:'''Cheryl:''' Shrimp is really good.
:'''Gordon:''' So both the shrimp and the Florentine steak are specials tonight.
:'''Laura:''' (interview) I'm disappointed in Perla, given her opportunity to try to shine. Unfortunately, I think it fell a bit short.

=== Anna Vincenzo's [3.09] ===
:'''CeCe:''' So he is a bigger asshole than I thought. ''(Talking about Ramsay)''
:'''CeCe's father:''' Fuck him.
:'''CeCe:''' What?
:'''CeCe's father:''' Fuck him.
:'''CeCe:''' Fuck him? ''(Almost laughing)''
:'''CeCe's father:''' Chef Ramsay... surprised nobody break his legs yet...!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[during after-lunch meeting]''
:'''Gordon:''' What’s with the defense mechanism?
:'''CeCe:''' (laughs) Oh, my God. Don’t you get defensive if somebody comments on your food like that?
:'''Gordon:''' I don’t cook shit like that.
:''(Ashton has hand over mouth in surprise while CeCe shakes her head in disbelief)''
:'''Gordon:''' When was the last time somebody complained about the food?
:'''CeCe:''' Well, last night.
:'''Gordon:''' Mm-hmm, and what did they say?
:'''CeCe:''' It was bland.
:'''Gordon:''' And were they right or they wrong?
:'''CeCe:''' No, they’re right. But... you’re off the wall with what you’re saying.
:'''Gordon:''' Here’s the difference between you and me: I listen for feedback. You can’t handle it. I came here because you asked me to come and help you, and your reaction to me telling you something quite constructive in a very calm manner is a joke.
:'''CeCe:''' Ok, so you want me to be your fucking puppet?
:'''Gordon:''' Why are you shouting? Why—
:'''CeCe:''' Because you’re pissing me the fuck off!
:'''Gordon:''' So shut the fuck up and talk properly. Is this the way you react when I’m not even here? (to the staff) Is this an old procedure when— it is, yeah?
:'''CeCe:''' Oh, you’re gonna get your fucking ass kicked.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, there you go. Madam, you have an attitude problem. I‘m not too sure which is worse: the food, or the attitude.
:'''CeCe:''' (to the staff) Ooh, can I hit him now? (to Gordon) You know, a lot of people said you were a jerk; I think I believe it. Anything else?
:''(dismayed with CeCe’s attitude, Gordon then turns to leave the restaurant)''
:'''Gordon:''' Fuck this. No fucking way. What a sad case.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[After a disastrous dinner service, CeCe and Gordon are sitting on a bench outside the restaurant]''
:'''Gordon:''' You all right? ''(CeCe is sobbing)'' No, come on.
:''(CeCe continues sobbing)'' 
:'''Gordon:''' I can’t start to even attempt to help unless you come to terms with the problem, and that is the food.
:'''CeCe:''' It’s good when I cook!
:'''Gordon:''' Come on! This is not a game for me!
:'''CeCe:''' It’s not a fucking game for me; this is my life! It’s not a joke for me! Don’t start saying that; it’s not a joke! It’s not a joke for me. I care! If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t fucking be here, so stop saying I don’t care! Just stop, please.
:'''Gordon:''' I haven’t said that!
:'''CeCe:''' Yes, you did.
:'''Gordon:''' What I’m trying to tell you is that you have to come to terms, internally, that there is a huge problem and that is with the food.
:'''CeCe:''' (interview) Nobody wants to hear that anything that they do sucks. I don’t like to fail. Death would be better than failing.
:'''Gordon:''' It’s certainly not a sign of weakness to admit your failings. I’ve closed three restaurants but I also have a number of successful ones. One-thousand, six-hundred and fifty members...
:'''CeCe:''' I know who you are.
:'''Gordon:''' That’s—
:'''CeCe:''' And it’s— It’s— I—
:'''Gordon:''' A “jerk,” you told me earlier.
:'''CeCe:''' Well, you can be a jerk.
:'''Gordon:''' Stop acting like a petulant teenager! I’m not gonna stand there and be a doormat for you to take the piss out of me. Let’s get one thing right: you asked me here and I’m here to help, so let me in.
:'''CeCe:''' Okay, the food sucks. There, you happy?
:'''Gordon:''' There’s a problem with the way the food is prepared, there’s a problem with the way the food is ordered, there’s a problem with the way the food is not respected... I’m sorry, CeCe, but it’s just not good enough.
:''(CeCe sobs some more)''

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 2 [3.10] ===
Casa Roma
:''[Gordon turns around and sees Q, who used to work at Sebastian's]''
:'''Q:''' How are you doing sir?
:'''Gordon''': (to Q) Wait a second. (to Nylah) I recognise this man.
:'''Nylah:''' Ah-ha.
:'''Q:''' How are you doing?
:'''Gordon:''' (to Q) Your first name is...
:'''Q''': Q.
:'''Gordon''': From Sebastian's.
:'''Q:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Possibly one of the most difficult, arrogant, jumped-up owners I have met in my entire life.
:'''Q:''' I thought you'd say that.
:'''Gordon:''' What the hell are you doing here?
:'''Q:''' Good question.

=== Fleming [3.11] ===
:'''Gordon:''' You're the owners?
:'''Andy and Suzanne:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Ok, great. ''(searching through his Danish dictionary)'' Hvordan er du? ''(How are you?)''
:'''Andy:''' I'm sorry. No Danish here.
:'''Gordon:''' But... it is a Danish restaurant?
:'''Andy:''' The Danes have left the building.
:'''Gordon:''' So... the chef's Danish?
:'''Andy and Suzanne:''' No... he's Cuban.
:'''Gordon:''' Cuban...

=== Sushi Ko [3.12] ===
:'''Gordon:''' I've never been to a Japanese restaurant where I can have a pizza... sushi style... and a chef owner that's no longer in the kitchen. I'm nervous.
:'''Cook:''' Just go with it.
:'''Ashleigh:''' Ok.
:'''Gordon:''' Um... that's the sushi pizza?
:'''Ashleigh:''' It sure is. It's rice, salmon, crab, and mayonnaise... some cheese...
:'''Gordon:''' Wow. Thank you darling. Japanese pizza? ''[takes a bite and spits it out]'' Sorry. That... is rancid. ''[to Ashleigh]'' You were right. That... is an insult to pizza, yeah? And Japanese food.
:'''Ashleigh:''' (interview) Chef had fair warning that it was going to be terrible. ''[laughing]''
:'''Gordon:''' Mhm!
:'''Ashleigh:''' I told him not to get it!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Gordon:''' Why do all these sticks got burns on them? You-you don't buy them like that do you? Why are they burned?
:'''Akira:''' We ''leuse'' them sometime.
:'''Gordon:''' You what?!
:'''Akira:''' We wash 'em, clean 'em, then use them again.
:'''Gordon:''' I can't believe this is happening! Where's Lisa? ''[Akira walks away]'' And-and no, Akira, don't run away like a snake!
:'''Akira:''' Ok!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Gordon:''' Uh... Lisa, Akira, look at all this!
:'''Lisa:''' Oh, the spicy mayo?
:'''Gordon:''' So you don't keep mayonnaise in the fridge?
:'''Akira:''' No. That's not required for... refrigeration.
:'''Gordon:''' What?!
:'''Akira:''' That's what I heard.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[pointing at the instructions on the mayo bottle]'' &quot;Refrigerate after opening&quot;! ''[holding a bucket of spicy mayo]'' Feel how warm that is!
:'''Akira:''' Maybe, uh...
:'''Gordon:''' How long has that been staying outside for? Truthfully.
:'''Akira:''' Always staying outside, spicy mayonnaise.
:'''Gordon:''' For four years?
:'''Akira:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' This is a Japanese health hazard! This is about you running a restaurant properly. And you're not!

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 3 [3.13] ===

== Season 4 ==

=== Spanish Pavilion [4.01] ===
:''[Gordon is not impressed with the lobster bisque]''

:'''Gordon''': It looks like the lobster was dead before they cooked it.
:'''Joe''': The lobster's from the tank. 
:'''Jerry''': You want to take a look?
:''[Gordon goes to take a look]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[points]'' Is he dead?
:'''Jerry''': No, I think they're just sleeping.
:'''Gordon''': Is it? It must be dead.
:'''Balbina''': We keep a good eye on this.
:'''Gordon''': You keep a good eye on them? Surely not. ''[pulls the &quot;sleeping&quot; lobster out of the tank]'' He's fucking dead. A dead lobster! Yeah, he's gone.
:'''Balbina''': Is he?
:'''Gordon''': ''[opens the lobster and smells]'' What I'm concerned about is everything else in there, they've been feeding off that lobster. They've become full of bacteria
:'''Jerry''': (interview) That is extremely unacceptable, dangerous. People could get extremely sick with that. ''[hands the lobster to a waiter]'' I'll get rid of this
:'''Gordon''': Okay, good.
:'''Michael''': ''[in the kitchen, on the phone]'' Alright, love you. Bye
:'''Waiter''': ''[gives the lobster to Michael]'' He smelled it.
:'''Michael''': ''[smells the lobster]'' They don't smell! (interview) That lobster's fresh. Even though it died, it's... good.

=== Classic American [4.02] ===
:''[Gordon meets Dominick, thinking he's the owner]''
:'''Gordon''': You look live you've been in this business for thirty years.
:'''Dominick''': I haven't.
:'''Gordon''': Oh really?
:'''Dominick''': Six years.
:'''Gordon''': What were you doing before that?
:'''Dominick''': Laying brick.
:'''Gordon''': ''[after doing a double take]'' So it's you and who?
:'''Dominick''': Colleen and Naomi. They own the place.
:'''Gordon''': OK, brilliant.
:'''Dominick''': I'm actually going out with Colleen.
:'''Gordon''': You're going out with Colleen?
:'''Dominick''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, so you're going out with one of the owners?
:'''Dominick''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Ex-customer?
:'''Dominick''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': &lt;i&gt;Right.&lt;/i&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Gordon reads the sign by the front door]''
:'''Gordon''': 'Enter as strangers, leave as friends'... Enter a stranger, start dating the owner.

=== PJ's Steakhouse [4.03] ===

:''[Gordon orders crab cakes]''
:'''Gordon''': Somebody spit on my food? What is that?
:'''Server''': It's coulis mango sauce.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, coulis mango. Thank you. ''[she leaves]'' Looks like something out of a modern art museum. Splat! Okay...  ''[takes a bite]'' Wow. That's fucking disgusting. It's rancid. Plastic bits of crap running through the crab cakes.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': PJ's Steakhouse? &quot;Pathetic Joke&quot;! That's what it stands for!

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 4 [4.04] ===

=== Grasshopper Also [4.05] ===
:''[Gordon tries a French onion soup]''
:'''Gordon:''' Jesus. It's like somebody's dropped sliced onions into boiling dishwater. Dreadful.
:'''Maureen:''' How's the French onion?
:'''Gordon:''' Off to a bad start unfortunately. It's like somebody's pissed in my soup.
:'''Maureen:''' That's not good, we'll take this away.
:''[The soup was returned to the staff]''
:'''Maureen:''' Guys, the French onion, he said it's like piss. The flavor he said was no good.
:'''Chief:''' (to Mitch) I told you the onion soup wasn't right.
:'''Mitch:''' We know, I know.
:'''Chief:''' But how are you going to educate these guys to do that right?
:'''Mitch:''' I don't know, I'll find out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon looks at the shepherd's pie]''
:'''Gordon:''' That gravy's made from...
:'''Annette:''' Beef.
:'''Gordon:''' Beef stock on a shepherd's pie.
:'''Annette:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' A shepherd's pie is made out of...
:'''Annette:''' This one is actually beef.
:'''Gordon:''' Then it's a cottage pie, not a shepherd's pie, because the shepherd stands for the...
:'''Annette:''' The sheep.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Maureen tastes the shepherd's pie]''
:'''Gordon:''' Bad, that's gross.
:'''Maureen:''' And it's not hot either.
:'''Gordon:''' That's part of the reason why I'm not coming back because it's watery.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief''': (to Annette) He ''(Mitch)'' doesn't know what he's doing. Mitch is fucking up everything here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon tries a fisherman's platter. One of the scallops tasted bad]''
:'''Gordon:''' Fucking hell, my God.
:'''Annette:''' Oh Lord.
:'''Gordon:''' That's gross.
:'''Annette:''' No good, Chef?
:'''Gordon:''' It's soft, bland, rubbery. I didn't realize it would be this bad.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief:''' (to Maureen) Mitch can be blind and I'm not kidding you. He's fucking me over here. All you have to do is do what I told you.
:'''Maureen:''' Yeah. Well, I'm not even going there, Dad.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' Thoroughly disgusted with lunch, Chef Ramsay wants to meet the chefs responsible for this supposed &quot;authentic&quot; Irish cuisine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' (to Chief) You're from Ireland.
:'''Chief:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' What happened here today had nothing to do with Ireland. Shepherd's pie - well, fuck me, that wasn't shepherd's pie. If you went to Dublin and you served shepherd's pie like that, they would shoot you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon finds some mozzarella sticks]''
:'''Gordon:''' What is that?
:'''Gabriel:''' Mozzarella sticks.
:''[Gordon finds some blood in the mozzarella sticks]''
:'''Gordon:''' Can you see that there? Blood, blood from where?
:'''Gabriel:''' From the meat.
:'''Gordon:''' Blood from the meat on the mozzarella sticks.
:''[Gordon throws the box of mozzarella sticks into a bin]''
:'''Gordon:''' Come on, guys. Thank God I didn't have the fucking mozzarella sticks. Look like a blood transfusion going on down there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon finds some meat in the refrigerator]''
:'''Gordon:''' You've got raw meat here, cooked meat, salami with blood in there. Fuck, come on, please. Don't do this to yourselves, let alone the customers. Rule number one: When learning to cook, you cannot store raw meat and cooked meat on the same fucking shelf in the same fucking fridge. The whole fucking thing has got a cross-contamination. Chief, give me something.
:'''Chief:''' There's a lack of supervision in here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon finds some slimy chicken tenders]''
:'''Gordon:''' What's in there?
:'''Gabriel:''' Tenders.
:'''Gordon:''' Chicken tenders. Why is it all bubbly and slimy?
:'''Gabriel:''' The chicken comes like that.
:'''Gordon:''' The chicken comes like that. Look how slimy it is, look how slimy it is. Look at it. Shit!
:'''Maureen:''' (interview) My God, it's ribid, it's so embarassing.
:''[Gordon finds a large piece of salmon]''
:'''Gordon:''' What is this? How can you serve that? It's like it's been left out for days and it's been attacked by cats.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annette:''' It's an absolute waste.
:'''Maureen:''' I know because I pay the bills.
:'''Gordon:''' I would never, ''never'' have put a spoon of anything in my mouth if I knew this was taking place.
:'''Annette:''' (interview) It's shocking to see just the extent of cross-contamination. There's no check-up.
:'''Gordon:''' (to Chief) Sorry, Chief. You may be the chief, but I swear to God, there's one thing that Grasshopper hasn't got is a LEADER.
:'''Maureen:''' (interview) We should all be ashamed of ourselves. At this point in time, I'd like to shot the doors and just say, &quot;You know what? Break it off.&quot;
:'''Gordon:''' (to Mitch, Maureen and Chief) Someone's got to help me here a little bit. I cannot help a situation who are not willing to help themselves, and you don't need me to come in here and turn your fridge upside-down. Mitch, if you're the one with the hands-on role in this business, and you're ''(Maureen)'' supporting him, and you're ''(Chief)'' the mentoring figure, we're screwed.
:'''Maureen:''' We have people coming tonight. What are we going to do?
:'''Gordon:''' I can guarantee you one thing. I am NOT serving food tonight with that shit in there - no way.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Gordon personally brings back a poorly prepared Shepherd's Pie to the kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': What is that? Let me just tell you something, when I was busting my chops earlier making it for you, I turned my back for five minutes and you send that out.
:'''Mitch''': Chef.
:'''Gordon''': Chef? Come on, guys. On the back of 115 customers in two-and-a-half hours, the results are that.
:'''Annette''': (interview) Chef Ramsay was like, &quot;To hell with all these!&quot; There was like no passion, no care for any of the food coming out.
:'''Gordon''': All you fuckers get paid?! WHERE'S THE WORRY ON YOUR FACES?! IF YOU WERE MY BRIGADE, I WOULD'VE FIRED YOU FUCKING SIXTEEN YEARS AGO!! '''YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU''' '''and''' '''''FUCKING YOU!!!'''''
:'''Mitch''': Fuck!

=== Davide [4.06] ===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Clips before Gordon arrives, showing the animosity between brothers Frank and Anthony caused by Anthony secretly taking money from the business in the past to buy painkillers for his addiction]''
:'''Frank:''' Hey moron! This is your table!
:'''Anthony:''' Get the fuck out of here, really.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Caesar salad is made and served tableside. Waiter Andrew pushes a cart of ingredients to Gordon's table]''
:'''Gordon:''' Brilliant. Tableside Caesar. North end of Boston, right?
:'''Andrew:''' Yep.
:'''Gordon:''' You're going right to the very basics, you've got an egg yolk there as well?
:'''Andrew:''' Egg yolk, garlic, anchovies.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow.
:'''Andrew:''' (interview) Who would've ever thought: I would be making a Caesar for Gordon Ramsay?
:''[Andrew pours something from a small can into the bowl, and drops the can]''
:'''Andrew:''' (interview) I love doing the Caesar salad. I put a lot of enthusiasm into it. 
:''[Shot of Andrew adding a liquid to the bowl and stirring. Text reading &quot;Waiting 2 Minutes&quot; appears, which quickly transitions to &quot;3 Minutes&quot;, &quot;5 Minutes&quot;, and &quot;7 Minutes&quot;. Andrew then plops the lettuce into the bowl. &quot;8 Minutes&quot; appears as Andrew serves the salad]''
:'''Andrew:''' Here's the Caesar.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, great. Thank you. ''[tastes]'' Have you just washed that salad?
:'''Andrew:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' You just washed it there?
:'''Andrew:''' Yep.
:'''Gordon:''' 'Cause it is soaking wet. So, all the dressing has just run off it because the lettuce is soaking wet. To dress a Caesar salad, the salad has to be crisp, but dry. So you made all that freaking work for nothing.
:'''Andrew:''' (interview) Oh my God. Even it's for nothing.

=== DownCity [4.07] ===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After discovering they don’t have a head chef]''
:'''Gordon''': Abby, what you’re employing is a ship with no captain at the helm and a team desperate for guidance. No guidance is no standards; no standards is no consistency. So, who came up with the menu? If this is American comfort food, somebody’s dreaming here.
:'''Abby''': I did. I did; I take full responsibility for the menu.
:'''Gordon''': You have no cooking background but you put the menu together? Abby, you’ve got to understand how frustrating this is. It’s ridiculous!
:'''Abby''': I don’t know what to say. Fix it. You fix it! That’s why you’re here.
:'''Gordon''': Oh come on, Abby! How can I fix it when you stand there in front of your team rating YOU and your restaurant and your food 10 out of 10? Dreamer!
:'''Abby''': I don’t... I don’t think it’s as bad as you say it’s...
:'''Gordon''': Stop being in denial!
:'''Abby''': Can you be more specific about the meat loaf? What did you not like about the meat loaf?
:'''Gordon''': (in disbelief) Oh, SHIT!
:'''Abby''': Can you say something besides...
:'''Gordon''': You’re loopy!
:'''Abby''': I’ve been called worse than that.
:'''Gordon''': Wake up and admit it’s shit!
:'''Abby''': Bring it on.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, come on.
:'''Abby''': Bring it on.
:'''Gordon''': What do you mean, “bring it on”?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Abby lies on the chairs after receiving a harsh critique from Gordon]''
:'''Abby''': So what do I do? Like, just get out of the restaurant business? Then, obviously, my thirty years in business is, like, worthless and I have no idea what the fuck I am doing? Okay! I think I'm going to open that hot dog stand down the beach.
:'''Mini''': Want some tea or something?
:'''Abby''': No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During a staff meeting]''
:'''Abby''': I don't really care what he says.
:'''Will''': Well, I mean...
:'''Abby''': He's so completely full of shit. Like, seriously? Our meat loaf is, like, what put us on the map! I mean, it's great!
:'''Nick''': I don't like the meat loaf.
:'''Abby''': (flabbergasted) You really don't?
:'''Nick''': I honestly don't.
:'''Mini''': We had it the other night together.
:'''Abby''': What? What-what didn't you like about it?
:'''Mini''': I think our food is mediocre, if it's not...
:'''Abby''': Mini-Me, seriously!? You're telling me now you don't like it!?
:'''Mini''': We eat it because we're here. This is not my restaurant of choice. I will not dine here in my off time.
:'''Abby''': You're saying, for what we serve -- comfort food, meat loaf, pastas, steak, whatever -- you're saying, for those--
:'''Mini''': It's not up to par even for that.
:''(the rest of the staff concurs)''
:'''Abby''': So now you're all telling me that you don't like the menu?
:''(the staff nods their heads, and Abby looks disappointed)''
:'''Abby''': (testimonial) I feel stabbed in the back, I guess. (back at the staff meeting) You're just hitting me with this, now?
:'''Nick''': You know what we're up against if we even opened our mouths about the menu once? Every time we open our mouths, &quot;Fuck off!&quot; &quot;Fuck you!&quot; &quot;You don't know anything!&quot; We're all at a point now where we're just like, &quot;If this is what she wants, let's just serve it out! We'll take it out of the window and bring it to the table!&quot;
:'''Mini''': We were trying to make the best out of it.
:'''Nick''': What are we going to have an opinion about now?
:'''Abby''': Oh, you're so full of shit! (walks out of the meeting)
:'''Mini''': (tries to bring Abby back) No, no, no, no.
:'''Abby''': You're so full of shit! No!
:'''Mini''': Talk to us! (testimonial) Without a doubt, she's in denial.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon has found rotting food in the refrigerator]''
:'''Gordon''': You haven't got a head chef?
:'''Abby''': Jimmy is my head chef.
:'''Gordon''': So we have a head chef. Before, you weren't ready to confirm he was a head chef. All of a sudden, we discover this mess down here. Now, he's appointed.
:'''Abby''': Rico, why don't we just sell the place and just get out of the business?
:'''Gordon''': Why don't we what?!
:'''Abby''': I was talking to Rico. It has nothing to do with you.
:'''Gordon''': Has nothing to do with me?
:'''Abby''': No.
:'''Gordon''': Excuse me? What do you think I'm doing? I'm trying--
:'''Abby''': You're being a fucking asshole! This wasn't like this. I don't run a kitchen like this!
:'''Gordon''': Hold on a minute. You're calling me a fucking arsehole?!
:'''Abby''': I am!
:'''Gordon''': You stuck-up precious little bitch! Let me tell you something!
:'''Abby''': Oh, boy. Here we go.
:'''Gordon''': Listen to me!
:'''Abby''': I'm not going to listen to you.
:'''Gordon''': You're in denial!
:'''Abby''': I'm not in denial!
:'''Gordon''': Yes, you are! Yes, you are! You can't even accept it!
:'''Abby''': Fuck you!
:'''Gordon''': And you walk out again!
:'''Abby''': I am! (Flips off Gordon) Fuck you! (walks upstairs)
:'''Gordon''': There you go. Flip the bird? That's your attitude? (to Rico) And that's your partner? I'm really sorry, but this wasn't like this before I got here? She's deluded, that woman.
:'''Abby''': You are insane!
:'''Gordon''': Blame me all you want! Easy excuse, isn't it? You're insane!
:'''Abby''': I'm insane? You're insane! You're fucking insane!
:'''Gordon''': You can't even handle the fucking truth!
:'''Abby''': That refrigerator was not like that before you got here.
:'''Gordon''': You're in denial. Flip out again!
:'''Abby''': I would NEVER allow that refrigerator to go like that!
:'''Gordon''': And those BONES?! The mouldy lamb bones?!
:'''Abby''': I don't even talk to my staff like this! Why don't you get the fuck out of my restaurant?!
:'''Gordon''': You want me to go? I will go.
:'''Abby''': I would love you to go! Get the fuck out of my restaurant, please!
:'''Gordon''': YOU ARE SO IN DENIAL, YOU NEED THERAPY!!
:'''Abby''': You're a disgrace to this industry! Fuck you and get out of my restaurant! Are you still here?
:'''Gordon''': (to the cameraman) Not now, guys, please, Please, please.
:'''Abby''': Fuck him!

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 5 [4.08] ===
Three worst inspections
:'''Narrator''': When Chef Ramsay goes to work on any of the restaurants, he always does a thorough kitchen inspection. And while some are absolutely fine, others are a disgusting mess. Here are the three worst inspections in ''Kitchen Nightmares'' history.
:Number three: [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Fiesta_Sunrise_.5B2.10.5D Fiesta Sunrise], a Mexican restaurant in West Nyack, New York.
:Number two: [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Seascape_Inn_.5B1.04.5D Seascape Inn], a family restaurant in Islip, New York.
:And number one: [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Dillon.27s_.5B1.02.5D Dillon's], an Indian restaurant in New York City.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
Gordon's top three fights of all time
:'''Narrator''': ''Kitchen Nightmares'' has seen its shares of arguments, but we've selected the three biggest blow-ups.
:We begin with number three, which took place at [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Peter.27s_.5B1.01.5D Peter's] in Babylon, New York, where Peter took his anger out not at Chef Ramsay, but on a bill collector.
:Number two goes to [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Sebastian.27s_.5B1.06.5D Sebastian's] in Burbank, California, where this owner ''(Sebastian)'' had trouble facing the truth, and he literally chased Chef Ramsay down.
:And the number one spot goes to [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#The_Secret_Garden_.5B1.10.5D Secret Garden] in Moorpark, California, where Gordon had seen enough of owner Michel's antics.

=== Tavolini [4.09] ===

=== Kingston Cafe [4.10] ===

:''(Gordon is lifting a tray with about 30 salads in martini glasses)''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, my God. You are kidding me. Jesus Christ! Who's doing all this? Oh, my good God.
:'''Una''': Um, Gordon, if you continue like that, Jesus Christ is actually going to appear.
:'''Gordon''': I hope so, because that's what's needed right now.

=== La Frite [4.11] ===
:''[Gordon has discovered burnt quiche about to be sent out]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Celine]'' What is that?
:'''Celine''': That's quiche but it's been overcooked.
:'''Gordon''': You are kidding me.
:'''Celine''': He (Martin) don't listen to my opinions because it's me.
:'''Gordon''': Martin?
:'''Martin''': Yeah, talk to me.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah come around please. I am talking to you.
:'''Martin''': Yes, sir.
:'''Gordon''': ''[reveals the burnt bottom of the quiche]'' Are you serious?
:'''Martin''': Ok, one more coming up.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Alex]'' I just said to Martin, would you come around a minute, serving that.
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' Yeah, I know.
:'''Gordon''': You don't walk away and ignore me.
:'''Celine''': (interview) Alex has never taken confrontation well. You try to talk to him about something and he just walks away.
:'''Gordon''': ''[throws the burnt dish out and walks out to the dining room to Alex]'' Are you joking around or are you ignoring me like this? Just sort of given up, have you given up?
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' I have not given up. Absolutely not. Look at the restaurant. It's wonderful.
:'''Gordon''': But you're walking around with a big bravado- &quot;It's wonderful&quot;?
:'''Alex''': Uh-huh.
:'''Gordon''': ''[outside]'' Wow. This is the most disorganized restaurant I've ever seen. Martin the chef, he's burnt out. Alex, well he's so laid-back he's almost comatose. Andre the owner who makes all the decisions, he's at a freaking hockey game. And the only one who cares, Celine, everybody ignores her. Unbelievable. Oh by the way, the food sucks. Unreal.
:'''Customer 1''': It's chewy and the sauce is very gooey.
:'''Customer 2''': The lamb has got like no flavour.
:'''Waitress''': Oh, no. I'm sorry. ''[to the chefs]'' Ughhh, they said the lamb has no flavour.
:'''Celine''': Yep, okay. I know why it doesn't. We didn't salt and pepper it.
:'''Gordon''': They're not even seasoning it?
:'''Celine''': Bring on the menu, let Alex know what table it is, please.
:'''Gordon''': Alex, so that's just coming back now.
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' Thanks Gordon. Thanks a lot.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Celine]'' Is this normal that he doesn't care?
:'''Celine''': Mhm.
:'''Alex''': Celine, you know what, this is really, this is gonna fuck us up. 
:'''Gordon''': You better get a grip.
:'''Celine''': ''[leaving]'' I can't get in the middle.
:'''Alex''': It's really sad. (interview) We've been running the restaurant for 38 years and things don't need to change.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Alex]'' You're not real.
:'''Celine''': ''[crying outside]'' (interview) That hurts. I love my brother and I know he's better than what he's doing here right now. And I wish he would realize that everybody's here to help. Otherwise, Alex will ruin me.
:'''Gordon''': Alex, look at me. Don't bully your sister; bully me.
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' I'm not bullying anybody Gordon.
:''[Shot of Celine crying outside]''
:'''Gordon''': Take a bit of responsibility.
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' I am.
:'''Gordon''': Wow, what a fucking sponge.

=== Capri [4.12] ===

:'''Jim''': Ready to get out of the business?
:'''Jeff''': No. Don't say that. ''[cries]''
:'''Jim''': Come on, stop crying. Fucking grow up, you pussy!
:'''Jeff''': Fuck you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' Thanks to Chef Ramsay's encouragement, Jeff jumps back into dinner service and tries to help his brother Jim get the kitchen back on track.
:'''Jeff:''' Keep it up, Jim. You're doing a good job.
:'''Narrator:''' But unfortunately, he only makes matters worse.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[looking at a raw chicken breast]'' Jim, what have you done to those?
:'''Jim:''' I don't know what happened to those. I really don't.
:'''Gordon:''' You defrosted them in the bag?
:'''Jim:''' I think I defrosted them in the bag and I...
:'''Gordon:''' Jeff.
:'''Jeff:''' Yeah?
:'''Gordon:''' The chicken tenders. What did you do to defrost them?
:'''Jeff:''' I put it on the steam table.
:'''Gordon:''' You defrosted them in the steam table from frozen?
:'''Jeff:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my god.
:'''Jeff:''' Not what you're supposed to do?
:'''Gordon:''' No! Frozen food needs to be defrosted naturally.
:'''Jim:''' Right.
:'''Gordon:''' Give me the bag. Where's the bag? ''[takes the bag from Jim]'' Jesus Christ! ''[opens the bag to find slimy chicken]'' Oh, God almighty! We can't serve them! You'll fucking kill somebody! Jim, talk to me!
:'''Jim:''' What am I supposed to say? It's a mistake.
:'''Gordon:''' It's a lethal mistake! Is that what I ate lunch time?
:'''Jim:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, fucking... I've been feeling a little bit crap all afternoon. What are you two doing?
:'''Jim:''' I fucked up.
:'''Gordon:''' &quot;I fucked up&quot;?
:'''Jim:''' Well, what do you want me to say?
:'''Gordon:''' I want you to step up to the plate and be a man!
:'''Jim:''' I screwed up!
:'''Gordon:''' You haven't told anyone yet.
:'''Jim:''' (interview) He was just being a jerk! He's an ass. I'm so tired of him just pushing and pushing!
:'''Gordon:''' Grow some balls and take it off the menu!
:'''Jim:''' (interview) I've had enough. I'm so pissed! I can only take so much before I fight back.
:'''Jeff:''' ''[Jim steps out of the kitchen and walks into the dining room]'' Jim! Jim!
:'''Jim:''' Out of the way! ''[announcing]'' Ladies and gentlemen! Due to certain circumstance, we have no chicken tonight. ''[Gordon groans]'' My apology to everyone here. If you just want to have what you're eating now and leave, I understand fully and I apologize.
:'''Gordon:''' Hey, there may have been a more subtle way of doing that.
:'''Jim:''' Get out of my way, prick! We canceled all our chicken orders. We got screwed!
:'''Gordon:''' Will you stop acting like a baby?
:'''Jim:''' Oh, blow it out your ass!
:'''Gordon:''' Excuse me?!
:'''Jim:''' You heard it!
:'''Gordon:''' Hey, you need a little diaper changing? That time of night?
:'''Jim:''' I'll give you something!
:'''Gordon:''' A little poo-poo? Cacked your pants?
:'''Jim:''' (interview) He's the baby. He's the one that's whining over everything. I don't need to hear this crap.
:'''Gordon:''' Jim, why do you have to behave like this?
:'''Jim:''' I'm not going to get yelled at!
:'''Gordon:''' You're walking around like a big baby. I'm just asking you to grow up a little bit! Show a little respect for what you're trying to cook.
:'''Jim:''' Fuck off!
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God! You big wet noodle! Do you want a blanket and a bottle?
:'''Jim:''' Do you need one? Upside the head?
:'''Jeff:''' Jim, stop it, please.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my god. What a spoiled brat!
:'''Jim:''' Fuck you!
:'''Jeff:''' Jim, shut up, please! You're not helping the cause. ''[Jim's pan catches fire]''
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God! Now he's setting himself on fire.
:'''Jim:''' I hope so.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Darian]'' Are they always acting this childish?
:'''Darian:''' Oh, yeah. They don't get their way, they cry or throw a temper tantrum.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God. To walk into the dining room like that and scream.
:'''Darian:''' That's what I said. A temper tantrum. (interview) There's a part of me that's very satisfied to see the boys finally get what they deserve. A lesson in humility. ''[back in the kitchen]'' Hahaha!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[after dinner service]''
:'''Gordon''': Okay, today can be summed up in one four-letter word: lazy. I can't even start to help both of you when you're not even helping yourselves. I really needed you to do something. Both of you, go through your kitchen and clean it. Not your staff. You. Both of you. Got it?
:'''Jeff &amp; Jim''': ''[simultaneously]'' Yep.
:'''Gordon''': Good night. Get to work. ''[leaves]''
:'''Jeff''': (interview) We were lazy. Now we're paying for it. We're failures. ''[in the restaurant]'' Yay.
:'''Jim''': ''[sobbing while scrubbing a refrigerator grate]'' It's making it dirtier. Can't...do this.
:'''Jeff''': What's wrong Jim?
:'''Jim''': I can't clean anything. I'm a failure. I'm making a mess. (interview) I feel bad. We are in trouble. I really don't know if we can fix it. That's the problem. ''[in the kitchen]'' I'm not cleaning anything up.
:'''Jeff''': Go take a break Jim.
:'''Jim''': No, I can't take a break, cause I'm too lazy as it is. I'm fine. I got to clean this up.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jeff:''' By the way, we have HOMEMADE MEATBALLS!

=== Zeke's [4.13] ===
:'''Gordon:''' I saw on the menu, the &quot;Oysters--&quot;
:'''Candace:''' The Oysters Cortello.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[gives her a meaningful look]''
:'''Candace:''' It's an invented dish for our restaurant. The Cortellos are Darryl and Ellen, so they made it up.
:'''Gordon:''' So the owners have named an oyster after them?
:'''Candace:''' Yes, they have.
:'''Gordon:''' They bought the restaurant, now they want their name on the menu.
:'''Candace:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Sounds like someone's struggling for power!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Sampling the 'Oysters Cortello']''
:'''Gordon:''' Wow. They're dreadful. Oysters named after the owner? I sure wouldn't put my name on that. I wouldn't even put my enemy's name on that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Darryl, the owner, has divided the entrees in small portions in order to cut costs]''
:'''Gordon:''' How does this work? Emil, when were these done?
:'''Emil:''' Last night.
:'''Gordon:''' Why are they bagged?
:'''Emil:''' He portions them out to order.
:'''Gordon:''' Really? ''[Watches Darryl's side-eye]'' What's the idea of putting everything in bags?
:'''Emil:''' Portion size.
:'''Gordon:''' Portion size?
:'''Darryl:''' ''[interview]'' I like to have everything in quantitative perspective. If I give too much, you get a &lt;i&gt;happy&lt;/i&gt; customer here, you don't get a &lt;i&gt;good&lt;/i&gt; customer. They're happy because they're getting three times what they should be getting, and I'm getting nothing. I don't make money on that.
:'''Gordon:''' It's food. We're not cutting, uh, piping for the bathroom.

=== Oceana [4.14] ===

:''[Gordon's blackened duck has been sent back to the kitchen]''
:'''Moe:''' Oh, my God. ''[groans]'' It's tough?
:'''Rami:''' Look how tough the duck is! 
:'''Moe:''' You said it's tough?
:'''Rami:''' It is tough, man! Cut it! And look- I'm 500 pounds, and look... ''[tries to cut it]''
:'''Damon:''' It is ''not'' tough.
:'''Rami:''' The meat is tough!
:'''Moe:''' I'm hungry and I'm going to eat it my fucking self.
:'''Rami:''' Enjoy it then!
:'''Moe:''' (interview) That's my favorite dish on the menu. And that duck is not going ''nowhere''. This is going to stay quacking on ''my'' menu. ''[in the kitchen]'' I don't give a fuck if he doesn't like it. ''[takes a bite]'' Man, this duck is so fucking good, man. (interview) Oh my gosh ''[kisses]''. ''[in the kitchen]'' Hey look, that's the skin.
:'''Rami:''' It's tough. (interview) Moe doesn't get it. He doesn't want to listen, he still thinks it's tender. I don't know what kind of teeth he has.
:'''Moe:''' You know what? I'd like him to come back here and cook the duck and show him what his duck gonna look like. We're going to call it the &quot;Gordon duck!&quot; ''[laughs; Gordon overhears]'' It's going to be a British duck right there! ''[laughs]''
:'''Gordon:''' What the hell's going on in there?
:'''Rami:''' How's it going, Chef?
:'''Gordon:''' They're laughing. What is going on in there?
:'''Rami:''' The food is coming back to the kitchen and they think it's a joke.
:'''Gordon:''' Um, can I meet the chef?
:'''Rami:''' Absolutely.
:'''Damon:''' ''[mocking Gordon back in the kitchen]'' &quot;It's bloody dreadful! Fucking bloody!&quot;
:'''Moe:''' (interview) Chef Ramsay is clueless. I really don't think that British can cook. Period.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' Damon, executive chef? How long have you been here?
:'''Damon:''' About six and a half months.
:'''Gordon:''' I don't know where to start, but here's the thing: the food is embarrassing. No passion, no flavour. The crab cakes, they weren't made fresh. Do you freeze crab cakes? Damon?
:'''Damon:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' You don't freeze them? Soggy, covered in sauce?
:'''Rami:''' Chef, I'd like to step on this side, to be on your side, because they do freeze the crab cakes. (interview) I had to step from that line and go to Chef Ramsay's side. How is he going to help us if you're lying to him?
:'''Gordon:''' Why are we lying to each other here? Are they frozen, yes or no?
:'''Damon:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' They are? Why do you want to bullshit me? I could taste they're frozen.
:'''Moe:''' But there's a good reason why we freeze the crab cakes.
:'''Gordon:''' Tell me the good reason behind freezing crab cakes.
:'''Moe:''' Because we don't have enough customers here to serve the crab cakes, so the only thing to prevent them from going bad is to freeze them.
:'''Gordon:''' Why make so many?
:'''Moe:''' The batch is big basically.
:'''Gordon:''' I don't understand this.
:'''Rami:''' Why would you make a big batch?
:'''Moe:''' (interview) Rami... fuck you, you just sold me out to fucking Chef Ramsay!
:'''Gordon:''' Damon, when was the duck cooked?
:'''Damon:''' I can't give you an answer.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, come on! I mean, what the fuck is this?
:'''Damon:''' I don't know.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[flabbergasted]'' You don't know when the duck was cooked?!
:'''Damon:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' Do you know when the duck was cooked?
:'''Kenny:''' No sir, I don't.
:'''Gordon:''' Do you know when the duck was cooked?
:''[Brad shakes his head]''
:'''Gordon:''' Holy shit!
:'''Moe:''' I know when the fucking duck was cooked! I know!
:'''Gordon:''' Well, thank fuck for that!! Solve the mystery!!
:'''Moe:''' We cook the duck off the premises. And we usually cook it about once a month. 
:'''Gordon:''' You cook the duck ''off the premises''?
:'''Moe:''' Yes, in our commissary kitchen.
:'''Gordon:''' And it stays in the fridge for a ''month''?!
:'''Damon:''' Freezer.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, shit! So, you cook the duck, you freeze it, and then you bring it in like a shipment?
:'''Damon:''' How many fucking times do you want me to say it?
:'''Gordon:''' Because I'm fucking embarrassed! You're just bullshitting me because you haven't got the balls to step up to the fucking plate!
:'''Damon:''' ''[approaches Gordon and gets in his face]'' Well, this is me stepping up to the fucking plate!
:'''Gordon:''' WELL, TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH THEN!!
:'''Damon:''' What the fuck else do you need to know?!
:'''Gordon:''' The truth!!
:''[Rami and Moe push Damon back]''
:'''Rami:''' You can't do that! You can't do that!
:'''Gordon:''' HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!!
:'''Rami:''' You need to chill out! You cannot do that! He's here to help us fix the problem!
:'''Gordon:''' Do I not deserve the fucking truth? I asked you if (the crab cakes) are frozen, you lied. I said when did you cook the duck? &quot;I don't know.&quot; Why couldn't you be honest? If that's how deluded you guys are, that you can't even tell me the truth, I'm really sorry. I'm not here to help fucking liars, let me tell you that. Do you know what? I don't know where to even start. ''[leaves]'' Fuck me!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon walks to where the grill is smoking]''
:'''Gordon''': Who told you to put oil under there?
:'''Kenny''': Damon.
:'''Gordon''': The chef? So you spray the grill with oil? ''[coughs]'' Fucking shit!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[finds a container of spoiled shrimp]'' What's this? Oh, fucking hell.
:'''Moe''': Oooooh...
:'''Gordon''': ''[smells the shrimp]'' Oh my... ''[starts coughing and then throws up in a bin]'' Shit! How old are they?
:'''Damon''': I don't know.
:'''Gordon''': Just smell them. ''[Damon smells]'' Smell them.
:'''Moe''': ''[smells]'' Oh! (interview) The smell was like &quot;Argh!&quot; I had no idea... Chef... Damon was doing such a shitty job.
:'''Gordon''': Look at the colour of them! All this shit is tarnished now, the whole fucking lot is tainted!
:'''Rami''': (interview) It's just... unacceptable. I mean Chef Damon should know better, he's an executive chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[finding tons of pasta in the fridge]'' I'm trying to help you understand the method in your madness.
:'''Damon''': Hey, asshole, I'm not the one who just said it was done yesterday! I asked my prepper--
:'''Gordon''': You can call me a fucking arsehole all you want. So get fucking angry with me.
:'''Damon''': You're standing right here hearing me ask the person who knows and I gave you his answer, not mine.
:'''Gordon''': Right, who's the fucking chef around here?
:'''Damon''': I am.
:'''Gordon''': Right. Bags of jambalaya, in the fridge, warm. Have you any idea what happens to jambalaya in the fridge when it's still warm in the centre?
:'''Brad''': Grows the bacteria?
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Grows the bacteria&quot;? ''[finds bins of crabs]'' And how many crabs are you selling, &quot;chef&quot;, over the next fucking three months? Lost for words? ''[flabbergasted]'' ''Really?!'' Another box of crab cakes. When were these made? No date, you see, &quot;chef.&quot;
:'''Moe''': (interview) There was nothing but dollar signs going through my mind. Soft shell crabs, jambalaya, crawfish étouffée thrown straight down the garbage. Chef Damon basically just took the money right out of our pockets.
:'''Gordon''': ''[finds a dirty tray]'' I don't what you ''think'' you should be taking out of containers... and sort of... cleaning out your fridge from time to time. One fucking question to you: who's the arsehole now, &quot;chef&quot;?
:'''Damon''': I am. ''[his eyes twitch]''
:'''Gordon''': I didn't come in here to humiliate you. But how DARE you serve me food from this disgusting fridge, then STAND there, and call me an arsehole, &quot;chef&quot;?! Excuse me... &quot;chef&quot;.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Moe:''' I NEED THIS FUCKING PLACE SCRUBBED DOWN, TOP TO BOTTOM! I WANT THE TVs WIPED! I WANT THE PIANO WIPED! I WANT THIS PLACE ''CLEAN''! WHAT PART DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! ''[throws down a chair]'' WE JUST SHUT DOWN THE FUCKING RESTAURANT!!! TONIGHT!!! NOBODY SEEMS TO GET THAT SHIT!!! CLEAN THIS FUCKING MESS!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Moe:''' Today is a wake up call for us. The person who is running this kitchen is not up to this job. He's made a lot of damages to this restaurant and we need to tell him that he needs to go.
:'''Rami:''' Yeah, that's what we should've done a long time ago.
:'''Moe:''' Can you please go get Chef Damon?
:'''Rami:''' (interview) It was always my suggestion that we have to let Chef Damon go, but Moe always told me that he can do the job. Finally, Moe has realized that he's not the right guy for us. 
:''[Rami goes in the kitchen and comes back out with Damon]''
:'''Moe''': Today was a wake up call for me. Chef Ramsay came here and he went to the back and he pointed out all things that are going wrong. Right now, I feel like you are part of this problem.
:'''Damon''': I'm not, Moe.
:'''Moe''': How can you not know that you're not supposed to put the jambalaya when it's hot in the walk in? How can you not know that? You're an executive chef! How can you not know that? Can you explain?
:'''Damon''': I didn't do it. Our prep people did it. I didn't realize that they did it and I've coached them repeatedly to not do that.
:'''Moe''': Chef, the problem is excuses. Every time I tell you we have an issue, you just hit me with nothing but excuses and I'm at a point where I cannot take any more excuses. Do you understand that? Do you understand? We cannot afford to have any more shit happen today! We've lost about five grand! WE SHUT DOWN THE RESTAURANT TONIGHT BECAUSE OF THE KITCHEN ISSUES!! Do you understand that? ''[Damon nods]'' It's the problem and right now you're the one who caused the problem! Do you understand that? Today, I've made a decision. With all due respect chef, today's your last day at the restaurant. Thank you. ''[leaves; afterwards, Damon gives the keys to Rami and leaves as well]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': I'm going to do some work in the kitchen. Do you have any recipes...on pen and paper?
:'''Moe''': ''[points to his head]'' Right here.
:'''Gordon''': What?!
:'''Moe''': Right here.
:'''Gordon''': So why aren't they on paper? Why haven't we got a database?
:'''Moe''': I like to keep my recipes secrets. If I put them on a piece of paper, I don't want anyone to steal them.
:'''Gordon:''' Fucking hell. Oh, Jesus Christ. So you're worried that somebody gets the recipe and copies it.
:'''Moe''': Anybody changes my recipe, I'm going to kill them. It's my recipe.
:'''Gordon''': Rami, help me out here will you? Is this for real?
:'''Rami:''' This is what we do everyday chef. ''[Gordon laughs]''
:'''Moe''': You think it's funny but believe what I tell you. 
:'''Gordon''': I don't think it's funny, You're just a little bit deluded.
:'''Moe''': Well you know what? The recipes are in my ''head''.
:'''Gordon''': ''[incredulously]'' Are you ''stupid?!''
:'''Moe''': I am not stupid.
:'''Rami:''' (interview) Moe, you ''are'' stupid. The kitchen absolutely don't know what the fuck to cook because the recipe is in Moe's head! It's crazy.
:'''Moe''': Don't call me stupid in my fucking restaurant! You understand that you need to learn how to talk to people?! This is New Orleans! You understand?!
:'''Gordon''': ''Wow''...
:'''Moe''': This is New Orleans! Don't fucking come down here talking to us like that!
:'''Gordon''': Calm down...
:'''Moe''': I have NEVER been chewed up like you chewed me up! 
:'''Gordon''': Right.
:'''Moe''': (interview) We got nothing but swamp around here! Anybody who talk like that get chopped up and fed to the fucking alligators!
:'''Gordon''': I'm not here to blow smoke up your fucking arse, let me tell you that. I'm here to fix this restaurant. But you are one obstacle, aren't you?
:'''Moe:''' No, I'm an easy-going guy...I listen, I work hard....
:'''Gordon''': But you're a...&quot;busy idiot&quot;.
:'''Moe''':....I don't think he gets it that he needs to watch his language.
:'''Rami:''' But you're not getting that he's here to help us.
:'''Moe:''' But I'm not calling him an idiot, he's calling ''me'' an idiot.
:'''Gordon''': A &quot;busy&quot; idiot.
:'''Moe:''' Busy idiot.
:'''Gordon''': You're working hard in the wrong places.
:'''Moe''': I mean, I feel like flipping the fucking table right now.
:'''Rami:''' Did you hear what he just said? He just explained it, you're working hard in the wrong places.
:'''Moe''': (interview) Busy idiot! Is he kidding me?! I will stand up, beat the fuck out of him, and show him who the fucking idiot is!
:'''Gordon''': What is it you want? A fight?
:'''Moe''': My problem is, I want to make this restaurant successful.
:'''Gordon''': So do I. I'm here to help. I don't want to see you running around killing yourself like a busy idiot. I've just gone over the fact that we haven't got any recipes on paper, and all in your head. You're worrying about writing them down for some other chef copying them and making their restaurants more successful than yours. I'm in the real world. That's where I am. You're treating me like one of your fucking staff. Well, let me tell you, ''Moe'', I'm not a member of your staff. Flip the table, punch me, do the fuck what you want to do. But don't fuck with me. Got it?
:'''Moe''': Got it.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you. See you later ''[gets up and leaves]''
:'''Rami''': (interview) He's (Moe) not understanding that this guy (Gordon) ''can'' make a difference in our lives. ''[to Moe]'' He's British. &quot;Busy idiot&quot; over there means something totally different over here. &quot;Busy idiot&quot; is a good thing ''[pats Moe's shoulder]'', that means you're working hard in the wrong places.
:'''Moe''': &quot;Busy idiot&quot; is a compliment?
:'''Rami''': It's a compliment. He's from British. He doesn't speak English. (interview) I know &quot;busy idiot&quot; is not a compliment but I had to calm Moe down.
:'''Moe''': But he needs to understand that &quot;busy idiot&quot; in America is an insult.
:'''Rami''': Okay, &quot;busy idiot&quot; is a good thing. (interview) I had to tell him it's a compliment so we can move on because other than that, he's gonna keep on going at it with Chef Ramsay and we're not gonna go nowhere. ''[to Moe]'' Let's can we move on?
:'''Moe''': We can move on.
:'''Rami''': Okay.
:'''Moe''': (interview) I'm like you know what, I should have brought a fucking British dictionary. I f- It took me a long fucking time to learn my language. How long is it gonna take me- it's the last thing I wanna do is learn fucking British.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Moe''': If I don't like the changes, I will send him back to British with a black eye.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Moe thinks that running a restaurant on bourbon street is all about having a good time when it should be about dedication and striving for success. That's why I'm not sure that Oceana will be here next year when I come back. Wow. &quot;I've got all the recipes inside my head.&quot; Unbelievable.

== Season 5 ==

=== Blackberry's [5.01] ===

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon sees a wok where Shelly's cooking her food on]''
:'''Gordon:''' Am I seeing right? You've got a three-burner wok there. Is that a pizza oven?
:'''Shelly:''' Yes, that is my pizza oven. And the wok. I love it, chef.
:'''Portia:''' ''[passes between Gordon and Shelly]'' Sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Shelly, how can you cook soul food in a wok?
:'''Shelly:''' Watch me, chef! Watch me!
:'''Mateen:''' (interview) Soul food is supposed to be cooked slowly. Soul food is cooked with love and soul. Not in a wok. Shelly's cooking green beans in a wok, cooking rice in a wok, cabbage in a wok. We're not a Chinese soul-food restaurant. We don't need a wok, okay?
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Mateen]'' That's a first to me. A Southern food restaurant with a Chinese wok and a pizza oven?
:'''Mateen:''' Yeah, the oven that doesn't work, right there.
:'''Gordon:''' Tell me what's working, apart from you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[10 minutes before dinner service begins, Gordon re-enters the restaurant and notices a dead mouse]''
:'''Gordon:''' Ooh, what is that? Bloody hell. Damn. ''[picks up the mouse]'' Oh my God. Have you got a bin?
:'''Mary:''' Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon:''' The mouse ''[holds it up]''. Just by the front door.
:'''Mary:''' Huh?
:'''Gordon:''' It's by the door!
:'''Mary:''' No! We just had the exterminator.
:'''Gordon:''' You paid for the exterminator?
:'''Mary:''' Sure.
:'''Gordon:''' Get your money back.
:'''Hostess:''' Ok that's not funny.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to the kitchen staff]'' Have we got an incinerator outside? ''[to James]'' Can you take that no? As a general manager, do something with it. ''[Shelly walks up to Gordon]'' The mouse.
:'''Shelly:''' The mouse?
:'''Gordon:''' It was in the entrance as I walked in when I left outside
:'''Shelly:''' A baby mouse? A mouse?
:'''Mary:''' We always have the exterminator once a month for prevention
:'''Shelly:''' Are you serious?
:'''James:''' ''[throwing a box into the dumpster]'' No fucking way.
:'''Shelly:''' A mouse? Come on! At the front door and not even in the kitchen. ''[to the kitchen staff, sarcastically]'' Hey guys, be careful of mice
:'''James:''' ''[to Gordon]'' Can you show me where you found that?
:'''Gordon:''' It was at the front door.
:'''James:''' Where?
:'''Gordon:''' Where's the front door in your mind? ''[Gordon and James walk to the front door.]''
:'''Shelly:''' ''[to the kitchen staff]'' I can't believe that.
:'''Gordon:''' I came in the door, walked there, saw him. Bang, right there. ''[places his foot where the mouse was]''
:'''James:''' Right there? Do you have it on film?
:'''Gordon:''' Are you kidding me? What, you thought I brought it in my pocket?
:'''James:''' I think you did.
:'''Gordon:''' Are you fucking dreaming? I arrived, the mouse was there.
:'''James:''' Never. Never had that. Never. There was never no mouse right here
:'''Gordon:''' Right, okay.
:'''James:''' I'm sure.
:'''Gordon:''' So we have the exterminator last week, they come on regular occasions.
:'''James:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' We have an issue with mice, that's why we have an exterminator
:'''James:''' We don't have an issue with mice. The exterminator comes in regularly
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, let's you and I do a little investigation. Let's go. Dwayne, when was the last time you spotted a mouse in here?
:'''Dwayne:''' I've never seen one.
:'''Gordon:''' You've never seen one. Good. ''[leaves]''
:'''Dwayne:''' ''[to other staff, quietly]'' Except for that one that was under the steam table that was dead a few months back. Almost a year back.

:'''Gordon:''' I walked in the front door - a mouse.
:'''Shelly:''' The mouse that you planted, I know. They told me. But it's okay!
:'''Gordon:''' No, it's not okay.
:'''Shelly:''' It's a show.
:'''Gordon:''' It's got nothing do with TV, nothing to do with your business in the shit. I am ''not'' going to stand there and even ''attempt'' to take that crap from you. You can take your restaurant, and stick it. I am gone. I'm out of here.
:'''Shelly:''' You're out of here? ''I'm'' out of here. ''[pushing past the others]'' Excuse me, go. See you later. Shut it down! Let's go, it's over.

=== Leone's [5.02] ===

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon has asked the chefs to make one of every item on the menu. He returns to find five tables full of plates of food]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God! Holy crap. How many items on the menu?
:'''Michael''': Over 100.
:'''Gordon''': 100?! ''[looks around at the staff]'' I mean, physically? The appearance, Jesus Christ. Can I have a knife and fork please? Maybe a bag, fucking sick bag.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Chef Ramsay, I would like to apologize in advance. Everything is just terrible.
:'''Gordon''': ''[looking at several pizzas]'' Let's start here. What's what?
:'''Michael''': Umm...
:'''Trudy''': ''[points to some pizzas]'' This is a sweet onion pie. This is a basic cheese pie.
:'''Gordon''': Crust looks very dark there, is that normal that or is he just having an off day?
:'''Michael''': The oven gets very hot, sir. ''[Gordon's jaw drops]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[tastes a dish]'' Have you tasted that?
:'''Michael''': Mhm.
:'''Gordon''': ''[gives Michael a fork with food on it]'' How bland is that?
:'''Michael''': ''[tastes]'' I think the texture I don't like. The taste...
:'''Gordon''': You like the taste but you don't like the texture?
:'''Michael''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Jesus. ''[lifts a block of rice from another dish]'' Is that rice?
:'''Trudy''': Risotto.
:'''Gordon''': That's risotto? Risotto? Oh come on, guys. I mean fucking, do me a favour ''[plops the rice block down]''. Fuck what stinks here? What's that smell? ''[to Michael]'' Is that you?
:'''Michael''': No, sir. ''[smiles]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[sniffing around the dishes]'' Wha-
:'''Michael''': I don't think so.
:'''Gordon''': ''[picks up a clam from a zuppa di pesce dish and smells it]'' Just smell that. Smell inside ''[Michael smells and nods]''. ''[to Rose]'' I don't want you smelling that, no, not with your state of health, I don't want you back in a coma ''[Rose laughs]''. ''[gives a clam to Michael]'' Taste the clams, quick! ''[spits out his clam]'' Aah, mine's full of grit.
:'''Michael''': Little spongey.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Spongey&quot;? No it's grit, they're not even cleaned.
:'''Trudy''': Grit, yeah.
:'''Gordon''': ''[points to Trudy]'' Are you crunching grit?
:'''Trudy''': Yeah, yes. Yes.
:'''Gordon''': ''[points to Jon]'' Dirt, sand.
:'''Michael''': How do you clean a clam if it's sealed?
:'''Gordon''': You run them under fucking cold water.
:'''Michael''': Ohhh, I didn't even know that, yeah.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Lord only knows where those clams came from. At least it was just sand, that's all I'm saying.
:'''Gordon''': ''[with another dish]'' What is that?
:'''Michael''': That's our arrabiata.
:'''Gordon''': Why's all the vinegar on there?
:'''Michael''': People like that recipe. They love it, actually.
:'''Gordon''': ''[tastes]'' Oh my God. The chillis ''[coughs]'', garlic. I mean, that is a fucking disaster. ''[moves on to another table full of plates]'' Next row? ''[with a chicken savoy dish drenched in balsamic sauce]'' What the fuck is that? ''[Jon smiles]'' What the fuck is it?
:'''Michael''': It's chicken.
:'''Gordon''': In balsamic sauce? ''[tastes]''
:'''Michael''': Yeah, red wine and a balsamic reduction.
:'''Trudy''': Balsamic reduction.
:'''Gordon''': Taste it.
:'''Trudy''': ''[quietly]'' I don't wanna taste it.
:'''Gordon''': It should come with a fucking warning. That will blow your lungs out. I mean- and where about in Italy is that from?
:'''Michael''': I don't know.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, come on. ''[with another dish]'' What is this one?
:'''Trudy''': Pasta reggio.
:'''Gordon''': ''[tastes]'' There's no seasoning in there. ''[compilation of other dishes being tasted]'' Everything's bland. Bland. It's bland! Pasta's bland! ''[compilation of Gordon spitting dishes out]'' Dirt. ''[with a loose tortilla]'' It's like a fucking flip-flop. ''[another compilation of dishes being tasted]'' Look at the garlic in there. Too much garlic. Smell of garlic. Pissing with garlic. Way too much garlic. How many bulbs of garlic is in there? ''[brings a dish to Michael's nose]''
:'''Michael''': A lot of garlic, yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Are they trying to put ''me'' in a hospital for two years? I mean, it's bad. It is bad. I mean, honestly, get me the chefs out here will you please?
:'''Michael''': Sure. (interview) My food even though I think it needs help, it's definitely not that bad. I eat it myself, it's not as bad as the Chef said.
:''[Darryl and Carchi show up in the dining room]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[with the balsamic chicken savoy dish]'' Who made this?
:'''Carchi''': ''[raises his hand]'' I did it.
:'''Gordon''': Have you tasted it? ''[Carchi doesn't respond]'' Have you ever sat down and tasted your own food? Sit down!
:'''Carchi''': With a what happens?
:'''Gordon''': No, not with the happens, sit down. ''[Carchi walks towards Gordon hesitantly]'' Come on, quickly! I need you to taste it!
:'''Carchi''': Yeah. I know it's, it's-
:'''Gordon''': Sit down please!
:'''Carchi''': Yes, chef. ''[sits at a table]''
:'''Gordon''': Welcome to Leone's. ''[places the dish in front of Carchi]'' There we are.
:'''Carchi''': ''[cutting a piece of chicken]'' I know it's, it's, it's... ''[tastes; Darryl is seen also sat down and tasting]''
:'''Gordon''': How does that taste?
:'''Rose''': Can I have a fork please?
:'''Gordon''': No, you're not eating that. No, no, no. I'm not gonna be responsible for putting you back in hospital. Sit down, you are not eating that. ''[to Carchi]'' How does that taste? How. Does. It. Taste?
:'''Carchi''': I don't like, personally. I don't like.
:'''Gordon''': You don't like it?
:'''Carchi''': I don't like it.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Darryl]'' How is that?
:'''Darryl''': It's very vinegary.
:'''Gordon''': Have you tasted your risotto?
:'''Darryl''': Yes, I do taste the risotto.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, stay there. ''[gets up and brings the risotto]'' Have a little taste. Yeah, just have a taste there. ''[places the risotto in front of Darryl]'' Use your knife and fork, have a little taste. ''[Darryl tastes the risotto]'' How does that taste? ''[Darryl spits out the risotto]'' Wow. It's fucking disgusting. And if that's classed as a risotto here in New Jersey. Dude, you gotta get out more. ''[to Carchi]'' What, if any, dish do you like on these tables?
:'''Carchi''': Nothing.
:'''Gordon''': Nothing at all?
:'''Carchi''': The salad.
:'''Gordon''': ''[facepalms]'' When a chef doesn't like his own food. ''[hand across neck cutting motion]'' How the fuck do you expect the customer to? For me, that says it all. ''[to Michael]'' Even your chefs don't like their food!
:'''Michael''': I think it's good.
:'''Gordon''': You think it's good? Wow. Are you in denial or are you just doing this in front of your mother?
:'''Michael''': No I'm not. No, no, I'm not in denial.
:'''Gordon''': I'm gonna get some fresh air. I'll be back later, yeah? ''[leaves]''. ''[quiety, to himself]'' I'd like to catch a plane out of here right now.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon is inspecting the kitchen during service]''
:'''Gordon:''' Ooh Jesus. What is that in there? What is that?
:'''Michael:''' I think it's veal, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' You think it's veal?
:'''Michael:''' Pretty sure it's veal.
:'''Gordon:''' You didn't put it in there.
:'''Michael:''' No, I didn't.
:'''Carchi:''' Darryl, what is that?
:'''Darryl:''' That looks like meat thrown in a pan.
:'''Michael:''' But what is it though?
:'''Darryl:''' I don't know. It's not labeled.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God! Fucking-- Hey. Forget the orders for five minutes. ''[to Carchi]'' Come around, you. Darryl, come 'round. Don't worry about the cooking for now. I got more fucking issues. When was the last time this was organized?
:'''Darryl:''' It hasn't been organized.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, come on. ''[pulls out a jar from the fridge]'' What's that?
:'''Darryl:''' Molasses.
:'''Gordon:''' Molasses?
:'''Darryl:''' Yeah, that's been in there since Thanksgiving.
:'''Gordon:''' ''What''?! It's July! What's that? ''[pulls out an old piece of meat from a container]'' Oh, my God! ''[sniffs the old meat]'' Oh, shit. This is raw pork. It's not ''my'' pork that you served to me, is it?
:'''Carchi:''' No, that's the, uh, the old pork that got left in there.
:'''Gordon:''' That's the old pork?! When's this one from? Not Thanksgiving again? ''[pulls out a container of white sauce]'' Stuffed what?!
:'''Darryl:''' Mushrooms.
:'''Gordon:''' Smell that! ''[brings the container to Carchi's nose]'' Smell it! That's fucking older than me! Smell it! Go on! ''[brings the container to Darryl's nose]''
:'''Michael:''' That's your sauce, Darryl.
:'''Gordon:''' What in the fuck is this? ''[pulls out an old piece of fish]'' Oh, my God! Is that flounder?
:'''Michael:''' It's definitely old.
:'''Gordon:''' &quot;Definitely old&quot;?! It's ''green!'' Smell that. ''[brings the flounder to Diana's nose]''
:'''Diana:''' (interview) It was embarrassing. It was mortifying. He comes in something that is easily identifiable, and no one noticed?
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Michael]'' Smell it!
:'''Diana:''' (interview) How is that possible?
:''[Rose walks in]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh.
:'''Rose''': Hi.
:'''Gordon''': Can I just share with you something? Two seconds. Mama Rose, I am absolutely horrified. ''[picks up the 8 month old molasses jar]'' That's from Thanksgiving. ''[picks up the flounder]'' And that, a slimy, vile, sticky flounder. ''[picks up the vat of sauce]'' And a sour disgusting cream sauce. I mean honestly, this restaurant has been run like a pigsty. ''[to Michael]'' You may be resistant to change, but what's become very clear is that you're resistant to quality.
:'''Rose''': (interview) Michael should've been a boss. To begin with having dishwashers and cook have it done... It should've been done. Always.
:'''Gordon:''' All of you, come here! Let's go, come here. How can we work like that? You've got ingredients from LAST Thanksgiving! Did you smell the flounder?
:'''Darryl:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Did you see the cooked chicken, the raw pork, the raw veal? It's a joke! You should be ashamed of yourselves. Under no circumstances, can we continue to serve food. Shut the place down!

=== Mike &amp; Nellie's [5.03] ===

=== Luigi's D'Italia [5.04] ===
:'''Gordon:''' Wow, it's crazy. How does the family restaurant not run as a family?
:'''Dominica:''' They don't get along.
:'''Grace:''' Because he doesn't belong in this restaurant. (to Luigi) Is is true, or no?
:'''Luigi:''' Yeah. We have laziness, it's like an infection. What happens is, when Tony is here, and Linda's here, they have no understanding that number one is the customer. No sitting around. No looking at the TV.
:'''Gordon:''' Watching TV when customers come? Is that true?
:'''Tony:''' I don't -- I don't think that's true.
:'''Grace:''' Tony, he don't care about the customer. He wants to sit and play the computer.
:'''Tony:''' I care about this restaurant. Now, honestly...
:'''Grace:''' No. He play with the computer here, come on!
:'''Luigi:''' The complaints say the people feel neglected.
:'''Tony:''' But the complaints, like, &quot;I don't want to come here when she's there!&quot;
:'''Gordon:''' Customers that don't want to come when you're working? What's that all about?
:'''Grace:''' I don't know. 
:'''Gordon:''' I was just asking. I'm listening.
:'''Tony:''' She's got people that she kisses ass, and they love her. She's got other people that gets blunt in her face, and hate her. Is it right to basically go up to the customer and say, &quot;Fuck you! Get the fuck out of here&quot;?
:'''Grace:''' '''NO! I DIDN'T SAY THAT! I DIDN'T SAY, &quot;FUCK YOU!&quot; NOW TELL THAT IS FULL OF SHIT, OKAY? SAY THE TRUTH!'''
:'''Tony:''' That's what you said.
:'''Grace:''' NO! I DIDN'T SAY, &quot;FUCK YOU!&quot;
:'''Linda:''' (to Gordon) This is what happens.
:'''Grace:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah. (to Gordon) You tell, I did it right or did it wrong?
:'''Gordon:''' I'm just trying to figure out what happened. I mean, I wasn't here. Did she say, &quot;Fuck you&quot;? Did she not say, &quot;Fuck you&quot;?
:'''Tony:''' I thought she did.
:'''Luigi:''' She said that to you.
:'''Tony:''' Oh, yes, she did.
:'''Gordon:''' What did you hear?
:'''Luigi:''' She didn't say that. She said that to you! You forget!
:'''Tony:''' No, no. She got into...
:'''Luigi:''' Why are you forgetful? YOU GOT TO BE HONEST!
:'''Tony:''' I'm being honest!
:'''Luigi:''' You want this guy (Gordon) to help you, or not?
:'''Tony:''' I'm trying to get him to help me!
:'''Luigi:''' Then, you got to say what it is!
:'''Tony:''' I AM!
:'''Luigi:''' NO, YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE LYING!
:'''Tony:''' I'M NOT LYING! YOU GUYS ARE LYING!
:'''Luigi:''' &quot;I think she said, 'Fuck you!'&quot; YOU THINK OR SHE DID?
:'''Grace:''' OKAY! ALL RIGHT!
:'''Tony:''' SHE DID SAY, &quot;FUCK YOU!&quot;
:'''Luigi:''' WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE TO TALK?! We are losing the business...
:'''Grace:''' (points at Tony) '''BECAUSE OF HIM!!! BECAUSE OF HIM!!!'''
:'''Tony:''' (to Gordon) See, that's why we don't get along.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon is served a fried ravioli]''
:'''Gordon:''' What's inside the ravioli, please?
:'''Joe:''' Ahh, it's a five-cheese stuffed ravioli.
:'''Gordon:''' Five cheeses are...?
:'''Joe:''' Ahh, I am not sure.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow.
:'''Joe:''' It's a pre-made ravioli.
:'''Gordon:''' So not home-made?
:'''Joe:''' Those are not home-made.
:'''Gordon:''' If we don't even make them here, it'd be nice to know what's in them
:'''Joe:''' I'll find out right now for you.
:'''Gordon:''' Thank you
:''[Joe walks towards the kitchen]''
:'''Tony:''' How's it going?
:'''Joe:''' I need to find out what cheeses are in the ravioli.
:'''Tony:''' What cheeses are in the ravioli?
:'''Joe:''' Yeah
:'''Tony:''' ''[to Luigi]'' What kind of cheeses are in the breaded ravioli?
:'''Luigi:''' Read the box
:''[Joe and Tony read through the ingredient sticker on the box of frozen ravioli and Joe writes them down]''
:'''Tony:''' It's a ricotta cheese. It's a ricotta cheese
:''[Cut to Gordon tasting the ravioli]''
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God. Ugh. Horrible. There's something deep-fried, frozen. Doesn't even taste like cheese. ''[splits open a ravioli and smells it]'' Jesus, no.
:''[Cut back to Joe and Tony reading the box]''
:'''Tony:''' You got whole whey, and you got American grana.
:'''Joe:''' And a skim cheese?
:'''Tony:''' Yeah
:'''Joe:''' Okay, perfect.
:'''Tony:''' You got it?
:'''Joe:''' Thank you, yes.
:''[Cut back to Gordon tasting the ravioli]''
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, not good.
:'''Joe:''' Chef Ramsay. I checked on the cheeses for you. Uh, mascarpone.
:'''Gordon:''' Mascarpone.
:'''Joe:''' Ricotta.
:'''Gordon:''' Ricotta.
:'''Joe:''' Uh, also, American grana. Something called a &quot;cheese wheyian culture blend&quot;.
:'''Gordon:''' Where the fuck is that from in Italy?
:'''Joe:''' I don't-I have no idea where that's from.
:'''Gordon:''' Ooh.
:'''Joe:''' And a skim cheese.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[chuckles]'' ''Skimmed'' cheese? In a ''fried'' ravioli? What does that mean?
:'''Joe:''' It's fat-free cheese, dipped in fat.
:'''Gordon:''' Dipped in fat, yeah ''[chuckles]''. Okay. Thank you.
:'''Joe:''' Okay.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to himself]'' Skimmed cheese in a fried ravioli...

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 6 [5.05] ===

=== Greek at the Harbor [5.06] ===

=== Burger Kitchen (Part 1) [5.07] ===

:'''Gordon:''' ''[reads menu]'' Executive chef... David Blaine?
:'''Alan:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' What, the magician?
:'''Alan:''' No, no, no, he's not the magician. He's just coincidentally the same name. He was the head pastry chef at the Peninsula Hotel.
:'''Gordon:''' Now he's the executive chef of the burger restaurant?
:'''Alan:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' David Copperfield your dessert chef?
:'''Alan:''' ''[flatly]'' No.
:'''Lena:''' ''[in the kitchen]'' David, he was like &quot;Chef David Blaine, like the magician?&quot;
:'''David:''' ''[laughs]'' Too bad I can't disappear from here.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''David:''' I follow the recipes as I am told by the owners and if I try to change the recipes, I am tossed out of here. 
:'''Gordon:''' What?!
:'''Alan:''' That's not quite true.
:'''David:''' It's not true?
:'''Gordon:''' Come on, guys, man up.
:'''David:''' ''[mutters]'' Been drinking again.
:'''Gordon:''' ''Drinking'' again?
:'''Gen:''' My husband doesn't drink.
:'''David:''' I don't know. I don't know. I can't get the truth out of anybody here.
:'''Gordon:''' Explain this to me, Gen. 
:'''Gen:''' He does have a lot of control in the kitchen.
:'''David:''' That's not true, chef.
:'''Gen:''' What about the mushrooms? You changed the whole recipe and you added wine.
:'''David:''' You didn't want ''salt'' on the mushrooms. Let's tell the truth.
:'''Gen:''' Did you add wine to the mushroom recipe?
:'''David:''' That's how you make sautéed mushrooms.
:'''Gen:''' I just asked you a question. Did you add wine?
:'''David:''' Yes, ma'am.
:'''Gen:''' You didn't tell anyone that you added wine to the mushrooms.
:'''Alan:''' Honey, you're missing the point. You're focusing on a ''mushroom''.
:'''Gen:''' Mushrooms are important to me. I'm from Poland.
:''[Gordon shakes his head in disbelief]''
:'''David:''' I think a lot of the problem is, instead of putting sugar in that coffee, put a little [[w:Prozac|Prozac]] in it.
:'''Gen:''' David, I just want the truth.
:'''David:''' This is the truth: I would be better off as a brain surgeon than you running this restaurant.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''David:''' That Gen is a liar, dude. She can't tell the truth.
:'''Jalapeno:''' She's crazy.
:'''David:''' The whole place should be on fucking LSD, man.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon returns to the restaurant after having challenged David to cook his own burger and finds Alan and Gen at a table with a plate containing only a beef patty topped with a slice of cheese]''
:'''Gordon:''' I know you're eating lunch. Don't worry. Please.
:'''Alan:''' I just made a burger. My own ingredients.
:'''Gordon:''' Your own ingredients?
:'''Alan:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow. So it's not on the menu?
:'''Alan:''' No. You wanna try it? (interview) Some people have called me a meat sculptor or a meat creator. A lot of different celebrities have eaten my food and said it was fantastic. Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' What's in there?
:'''Alan:''' You'll see.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah. 
:'''Alan:''' Try it.
:'''Gordon:''' I can see the blood, but what's in there?
:'''Alan:''' It's the wagyu mix but what I've done is I've added certain spices and made a cheeseburger. I don't like a bun.
:'''David:''' (interview) Alan, you're not a meat expert. You don't know a thing about meat. ''[Gordon tastes Alan's burger]'' The only thing you know how to do is sit on the computer there and change menus. That's what you do.
:'''Gordon:''' And you made this?
:'''Alan:''' Yes.
:'''Gen:''' It's amazing. ''[smiles]''
:'''Gordon:''' That is hideous. At least it's seasoned. ''[points to David]'' This is the burger I'm dying for. David, please. Presentation, ah? It looks great.
:'''David:''' Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Explain please.
:'''David:''' I used a smoked gruyere with grilled tomato, spring mix with a mustard aioli and a jumbo pickle homemade.
:'''Gordon:''' What I had earlier, this looks night and day. ''[cuts the burger]'' Wow, okay. Look at that. Bloody hell, that's what I call a burger. Jesus. And how does it taste? ''[eats the burger; Gen's eyes twitch]'' It's delicious. ''[Gen frowns]''
:'''David:''' Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Temperature's perfect, and the roll is crispy.
:'''David:''' Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Gen]'' Would you like to have a little taste?
:'''Gen:''' I'd love to. ''[tastes the burger then coughs. David looks shocked]'' What is that strong taste that I'm tasting?
:'''Gordon:''' Gruyere cheese, and it's smoked right?
:'''David:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, I love it.
:'''Gen:''' Does that go through the meat? I taste something stronger in there like a dry-aged or something beef, but I do like my meat red in it. I am a medium-rare girl.
:'''Alan:''' Problem is that's not medium rare, as it should be.
:'''Gordon:''' It may be medium, but I can tell you what, it's bloody juicy. That is delicious.
:'''David:''' Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, I'd give that 9/10. ''[Gen frowns]'' Love that title there by the way, &quot;Redemption Burger&quot;, and you certainly did that.
:'''David:''' (interview) Suck on this burger, Gen. And you too, Alan.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' While Chef Ramsay has observed many difficult situations over the years...
:'''David:''' GIVE ME MY CHECK!
:'''Narrator:''' ...tonight's dinner service might just be the craziest he has ever seen.
:'''David:''' Give me my check right now ''[Gen tries to protest]'' and post-date it for tomorrow. I'm not playing, I want it ''[claps his hands]''
:'''Gen:''' David, I will write you a check-
:'''Alan:''' David, please stop yelling.
:'''David:''' Okay, just give me my check.
:'''Gen:''' Please stop saying-please stop saying I'm on Prozac-
:'''Alan:''' ''[ushers Gen away]'' Go and write THE CHECK!
:'''Gen:''' (interview) I'm not on anything! He's the one that needs this so-called Prozac. I don't even know what it does!
:'''Daniel:''' What do we- what do we owe you? What do we owe you?
:'''David:''' $1,000.
:'''Daniel:''' $1,000?!
:'''David:''' Just pay it up.
:'''Alan:''' What is your problem when Danny-Gen had nothing to do with that.
:'''David:''' Oh, come on. She is the problem.
:'''Alan:''' ''Danny'' fired you.
:'''David:''' It doesn't matter if God fired me; she's the problem...
:'''Alan:''' Danny fired you, not me.
:'''David:''' The problem in this restaurant, my God, is that lady, Alan.
:'''Alan:''' How can you blame her for something that Danny did?
:'''David:''' I'm not blaming her, I'm just telling her she needs Prozac, I'm telling her the truth.
:'''Alan:''' (interview) To say that she needs Prozac or anything like that, that's below the belt and it's disgusting and I've lost all respect for him.
:''[In the office]''
:'''Gen:''' I'm not on Prozac!
:'''Gordon:''' Who cares if you're on fucking Prozac, don't worry about that.
:'''Daniel:''' Write the check for $1,000...
:'''Gen:''' And you're gonna put the money in tomorrow for us? ''[Daniel protests]''
:'''Gordon:''' How the fuck can ''he'' put the money in?
:'''Wendy:''' No! I don't think so!
:'''Gen:''' Wendy, Wendy, please don't get involved right now.
:'''Wendy:''' (interview; teary-eyed) These people will never respect him. I'm just over Gen and Alan taking money. They're just fucked-up people.
:''[As Gen is about to give the check to David, Wendy takes it from her and returns to the office]''
:'''Wendy:''' You can't do that. You don't have the money in there. I'm sorry.
:'''Gordon:''' Jesus Christ, what?
:''[Alan approaches Wendy in the office]''
:'''Wendy:''' No, it has to be legitimate. Danny's not giving you any more money. He's already given you too much and I'm sorry, that's pissing me off.
:'''Alan:''' It's not YOUR CHOICE!
:'''Gen:''' Alan, please don't yell at a girl.
:'''Wendy:''' I love it.
:'''Gen:''' Alan, please don't yell at a girl. 
:'''Wendy:''' I love it. 
:'''Gen:''' ''[ushers Alan out of the office]'' Please go out, you're too sick.
:'''Wendy:''' &quot;It's not your choice&quot;. It's not Danny's choice either.
:'''Gen:''' Please go out, it's okay.
:'''Wendy:''' It's not Danny's choice either.
:'''Gen:''' Alright. Wendy.. ''[ushers Alan away]'' not tonight...
:'''Wendy:''' This is not a legitimate time part either.
:'''Gen:''' ...and she's a young lady, please don't yell at her.
:''[Wendy flips off Gen and Alan and closes the office door as they leave]''
:'''Gen:''' ''[gives David his final paycheck]'' Alright. Thank you, David.
:'''David:''' Thank you, ma'am.
:'''Gen:''' And David, for the record: I'm not on Prozac, dear.
:'''David:''' Oh, and for the record: YOU SHOULD BE! ''[walks out; Gordon and Alan watch while Gordon holds back a smile]'' Fuckin' meth-heads.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Alan]'' What a joke. Honestly.

=== Burger Kitchen (Part 2) [5.08] ===

=== Michon's [5.09] ===

=== El Greco [5.10] ===
:''[Gordon walks outside the restaurant after seeing all the food being microwaved]''
:'''Gordon:''' This is incredible. The minute you walk into a restaurant with an open kitchen and all the chefs are facing out as opposed to standing in front of the stove, get out. That's what's happening here. Unbelievable.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[After sampling the lamb shank]''
:'''Gordon:''' Now there's a very anaemic-looking lamb shank. Look at the presentation. It's depressing. Almost like it's been in the microwave for an hour. Surely, they wouldn't microwave a lamb shank. I'm a little bit nervous at how grey the meat is. That is way too salty and badly balanced. (to Dustin) Dustin, I mean... it's so salty. Who cooked that, Dustin?
:'''Dustin:''' That's Chef Mike.
:'''Gordon:''' Chef who?
:'''Dustin:''' Chef Mike. ...It's a microwave.
:'''Gordon:''' I thought it was a third chef!
:'''Dustin:''' It kind of is. He does a lot of work in the kitchen.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh.
:'''Dustin:''' ''[to audience]'' We use Chef Mike a lot. Whenever there's lights on in this restaurant, Chef Mike's working. He's a dedicated employee.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[Gordon goes to confront Jake about the kitchen’s constant microwaving of food]''
:'''Gordon:''' Greek restaurant? More like a Greek tragedy.
:'''Jake:''' (interview) It pisses me off. What I think about my food is, it's healthy, it's fresh, it's—it's good. It's damn good.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, reheated microwave food.
:'''Jake:''' Listen, it's not microwave food. I mean, how else am I going to reheat it? You're breaking my balls about getting—reheating it in a microwave.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[points to one of the chefs]'' He's been cooking 14 years. There's a whole stove there; it’s not even being used! And this guy ''(Chef Mike)'' is like this... ''[opens and closes microwave door three times]'' Come on, Jake! Fuck me.
:'''Jake:''' (interview) I don't use the word “microwave.” I'm not cooking it in the microwave. I'm reheating it in the microwave. Big difference. There's a big difference. (normal) I don't think it compromises the food, reheating it that way, but I mean—
:'''Gordon:''' Say that again? You don't think it compromises the food?
:'''Jake:''' I don't think so.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God!
:'''Athena:''' Oh, they’re gonna have a big fight. Oh, my God. ''[begins praying]'' Please, God.
:'''Gordon:''' It doesn't compromise the standard of food? 
:'''Jake:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow.
:'''Jake:''' Yeah, you fuck off. How's that? There we go. Go. Get out of my line.
:'''Gordon:''' Jake.
:'''Jake:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Jake.
:'''Jake:''' I gotta—look, I'm trying to put out food...
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, Jake. Let me tell you something.
:'''Jake:''' ...I'm not here to talk about—
:'''Gordon:''' Take your head out of your arse and just start acting like a man and start taking responsibility for something, will you?
:'''Jake:''' I am taking responsibility for it.
:'''Gordon:''' You are? And you think it's smart, telling me to fuck off?
:'''Jake:''' I don’t want to fu—I don't want to fuck around.
:'''Gordon:''' So how about showing a little bit of respect for what you're doing?
:'''Jake:''' Go. Get off my line and let me do my job. Get out of here.
:'''Gordon:''' Jake... Jake, I'll go, with pleasure.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[massive argument in the kitchen; all of Kiki’s dialogue is in Greek]''
:'''Gordon:''' The atmosphere in here is horrific. What's going on?
:'''Jake:''' I don't wanna be in here with these two. I really don't. Every time I walk in here, they look for something to complain at me, and then they both gang up on me. And I don't need you to—fucking—me coming in here and you guys yapping and yapping and yapping. I don't wanna hear that shit in the morning.
:'''Kiki:''' What’s he saying? What’s he saying?
:'''Athena:''' He says we constantly complain.
:'''Kiki:''' If we did things right, would we complain? If we did things right and he was worth something, would we complain?
:'''Athena:''' No.
:'''Jake:''' Yeah, whatever.
:'''Gordon:''' Why is she so upset?
:'''Kiki:''' Jake is a big idiot that sleeps until 5pm!
:'''Gordon:''' What was that bit?
:'''Kiki:''' Tell him.
:'''Jake:''' They say I don't come down on time.
:'''Athena:''' No, you never do.
:'''Jake:''' I don't.
:'''Athena:''' You never do.
:'''Jake:''' This is the reason.
:'''Athena:''' No! 
:'''Jake:''' All you do is yell and nag, Athena.
:'''Athena:''' You creating that!
:'''Jake:''' No, I don't create it.
:'''Athena:''' Yes.
:'''Jake:''' Athena, who the hell wants to come down early in the morning and listen to people yelling at them?
:'''Athena:''' I don't know what else I gonna do while I'm up to here with that. I get very upset!
:'''Jake:''' That's what I gotta put up with every morning.
:'''Athena:''' He doesn't give a damn...
:'''Gordon:''' He must give a damn; come on. He can't be that cold-hearted.
:'''Jake:''' Yeah...
:'''Athena:''' He is cold-hearted.
:'''Jake:''' ...and sometimes I don't. I mean, I don't wanna deal with this.
:'''Athena:''' He is cold-hearted.
:'''Jake:''' If you put up with this shit for two years, you're not gonna give a damn about it either. You won't!
:'''Gordon:''' They're not your friends; it’s your mum! And your aunt!
:'''Jake:''' Yeah.
:'''Athena:''' He doesn't give a damn about that.
:'''Jake:''' No, but... Why I should I give a damn when you're swearing at me? You're cursing me, you're calling me names all day long?
:'''Kiki:''' You donkey, you dirty bastard.
:'''Jake:''' (Greek) Yeah, dirty bastard.
:'''Kiki:''' Yes.
:'''Jake:''' (Greek) Yes.
:'''Kiki:''' Liar... Lazy bastard.
:'''Jake:''' This is what I gotta put up with every fucking morning.
:'''Kiki:''' All this is because of your laziness.
:'''Jake:''' Every morning. You know what?
:'''Kiki:''' All this is because of your laziness!
:'''Jake:''' You don't need to be here. You and her do not need to be here! I don't need this fucking stress!
:'''Kiki:''' Shame on you, you ass. What do you do here?
:'''Athena:''' (Greek) Calm down.
:'''Kiki:''' What do you do here? What do you know how to cook?
:'''Jake:''' (Greek) What do I do here? All I do is listen to your bullshit!
:'''Kiki:''' I can’t stand him. Only for her debt do I stay, just for her. I’m up to here! Why does your mother keep you here? You’re an animal! Donkey!
:'''Jake:''' Oh, please.
:'''Kiki:''' Get lost! Smelly bastard, go to Hell! 41 years old and your Mom feeds you. You should be ashamed!
:'''Athena:''' (Greek) Kiki, please.
:'''Kiki:''' And you, shut up! You have spoiled him! You’ve made him into an ass!
:'''Jake:''' You two need to just go home.
:'''Kiki:''' Why are you scared to talk back to him?
:'''Jake:''' Go home.
:'''Kiki:''' You made him into a donkey! The only way this restaurant will be fixed is if this guy leaves!
:'''Jake:''' No, I'd be better off with both of you staying home and let me do what I need to fucking do.
:'''Athena:''' Then '''do it!'''
:'''Jake:''' I will! Don't fucking come to work! You and her, leave!

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 7 [5.11] ===

=== Park's Edge [5.12] ===
:''[Gordon has found rotting food in the refrigerator]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[showing moldy lemons]'' Look what's in the box. Who turns the produce over? Who rotates the freshness?
:'''Jorge''': That's my staff.
:'''Gordon''': Really? ''[tosses the lemons away]'' Fuck me! Seriously?
:'''Jorge''': Why throw my lemons like that for? Why are you taking my product and throwing it away?
:'''Gordon''': THEY'RE MOULDY, YOU PILLOCK! Do you want to see some more? Stay there! Chicken. ''[smells the chicken]'' Fucking hell! Look at this. What's this for? ''[Shows dehydrated potatoes]'' When were those made?
:'''Jorge''': Those were made today. Those are not going to be served to the public.
:'''Gordon''': They're not going to be served to the public.
:'''Jorge''': I'm telling you that I'm not going to serve those!
:'''Gordon''': So you're saving them for what? Talk to me then.
:'''Jorge''': Those were from this morning.
:'''Gordon''': YOU BULLSHITTING LITTLE FUCKER!!
:'''Jorge''': You're the little fucker! I'm telling you, those were made today.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, right!
:'''Jorge''': If you don't fucking believe me, that's your responsibility.
:'''Gordon''': Okay, so, you're lying through your teeth!
:'''Jorge''': I am not lying through my teeth.
:'''Gordon''': Yes, you are! You can't even tell me the truth. Do you know why? Because you don't know and you're a fucking joke!
:'''Jorge''': ''[throws the potatoes away]'' You're a joke too, man!
:'''Gordon''': Are you going to walk off then?
:'''Jorge''': All you're doing is hammering it!
:'''Gordon''': Do you know what? What upsets me more than anything is that you don't realise you're playing at running a restaurant. And the minute you start looking at yourself in the mirror and stop blaming the people around you, the quicker you may get this place turned around. Got it? Good! Fucking joke!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[During prep for relaunch night]''
:'''Jorge:''' Okay, so you do the frying station.
:'''Matt:''' I will not absolutely cook a chicken wing.
:'''Jorge:''' What's that?
:'''Matt:''' I don't feel comfortable frying a chicken wing.
:'''Jorge:''' Why not?
:'''Matt:''' Unless she [Andi] wants to put on a pair of orange shorts and go out there serve it.
:'''Jorge:''' They're here to train us, okay. Are you going to turn around and give them a hard time? Check yourself before you check them out, okay? Not going to ask you again. (interview) He has this huge ego about frying chicken which is really irrelevant. He's here to do what I tell him to do, not what he wants to do.
:''[Jorge and Richard bring Matt outside to talk with Gordon]''
:'''Gordon''': What's going on?
:'''Matt''': You put a bunch of fucking chicken wings on the menu and I think somebody ought to fucking put on some orange shorts out there and serve it.
:'''Gordon''': Okay, so how about a little bit of respect and showing these two guys?
:'''Matt''': Well how about a little fucking respect a fine dining restaurant and not put fucking chicken wings on the menu?
:'''Gordon''': A fine dining restaurant?
:'''Jorge''': Are you fucking listening to us?
:'''Gordon''': Who the fuck do you think you are?
:'''Matt''': Who do you think I am? A guy who knows when a menu sucks!
:'''Gordon''': How dare you get jumped up and tell the owners that the menu's shit because you think you know better? Well, why aren't you doing better? Why haven't you got your own restaurant? How about having the intelligence to calm down and to start again?
:'''Jorge''': Is that possible? Yes or no?
:'''Matt''': It's possible.
:'''Richard''': Will you do it? Yes or no?
:'''Matt''': Yes.
:'''Richard''': Thank you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[During dinner service for relaunch night]''
:'''Matt:''' This is fucking ridiculous!
:'''Gordon:''' Come on, Matt. I know you hate the wings but just serve them please. Hate me, don't hate the wings.
:'''Matt:''' You got your orange shorts? Orange shorts!
:'''Gordon:''' Cut the shit till the end of service. Okay big boy?
:'''Matt:''' Come on!
:'''Gordon:''' Hey you, why do you want to fuck around and take the piss? Let me tell you something really important.
:'''Matt:''' What's that?
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah. I've fucking forgotten more than you know. Just serve the food and shut the fuck up, smart-arse!
:'''Jorge:''' Matt, what is the big deal?
:'''Matt:''' I'm trying to have a good time.
:'''Jorge:''' You're not having a good time, you're making life tough.
:'''Matt:''' I'm having a good time.
:'''Gordon:''' Why is he acting like that?
:'''Melanie:''' Because he's a jackass. (interview) Matt is beyond the weakest link. You're here to do a job, do it!
:'''Matt:''' Pork belly's in the window.
:'''Gordon:''' Matt, that's overcooked. I know you don't care but I do. And you're supposed to be working hard tonight to get this place turned around. Why are you now trying to sabotage it? Mr Shitter who thinks he can't fucking cook a chicken wing! Can't even drop a piece of pork belly in the fryer. Look at it, dry, piece of overcooked pork belly! You're going to start sending us down.
:'''Jorge:''' Matt, you're seriously want to fuck me over right now?
:'''Matt:''' No.
:'''Jorge:''' Why are you being a piece of shit with me?
:'''Richard:''' (interview) I don't know if there's something wrong with Matt or not. I'm not a violent man by any means, but if he fucks it up for me tonight, I will literally...do something.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[after Matt sends a stone cold pork belly]''
:'''Jorge''': Matt, why are you fucking up service tonight? You're making me look like shit.
:'''Matt''': Chill out with the fucking drama.
:'''Jorge''': What did you say?
:'''Matt''': Chill out with the drama!
:'''Jorge''': Get out of here! Right now! Get the fuck out, right now! You know what? That's it. (shoves Matt) Get out of here!
:'''Matt''': Alright, fine. That's cool if you're going to be serious like that. (leaves)
:'''Richard''': Matt, see you!

=== Spin A Yarn [5.13] ===
:'''Gordon''': Look at that sign. What is that; a big capital &quot;S&quot;. Let's hope that doesn't stand for &quot;Shit&quot;!

=== Charlie's [5.14] ===
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Tatiana about bad meatballs]'' What's your complaint about the meatballs?
:'''Tatiana:''' He said it was toasted on one side, not toasted on the other.
:'''Gordon:''' Really? How about telling your fucking chef?!
:'''Casimiro:''' ''[to Gordon in Spanish]'' Okay, you cook it!
:'''Gordon:''' Now he's getting upset with me because I called him out. When a guy can't make a meatball or even season one, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. And then when I watch a chef that cooks and sticks food up there and holds it, and we're not talking homemade food, we're talking bought-in, store-bought. My God, it hurts.
:'''Casimiro:''' ''[to Gordon in Spanish]'' Okay, you cook it!
:'''Gordon:''' And look at that for a stinking attitude! Look at that! A disgusting attitude! Ask him to put his house in the fucking mix. If his house was on the line, he wouldn't be cooking like a fucking idiot! ''[Casimiro laughs]'' Now he thinks it's funny!
:'''Tatiana:''' What the fuck are we going to do?
:'''Gordon:''' You think it's funny? Yeah? It's a joke!
:'''Tatiana:''' ''[to Casimiro in Spanish]'' ¿Vas a cocinar? ''[&quot;Are you going to cook?&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' What does he want to do?
:'''Tatiana:''' He doesn’t want to cook.
:'''Gordon:''' He don’t want to cook? ''[walks out]'' Get your head out of your arse.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' When a chef outlasts two owners already, trust me, there something's not quite right...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Tatiana''': Necesitamos hablar. ''[&quot;We need to talk&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro''': Si, dimelo. ¿Que pasa, niña? ''[&quot;Yeah, talk to me. What happened, my child?&quot;]''
:'''Tatiana''': Casimiro, yo pienso que los dos de usted necesitáis ir. ¿Esto me duele mucho, ok? ''[&quot;Casimiro, I think the two of you need to go. This hurts me a lot, ok?&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro''': Ok.
:'''Tatiana''': Lo siento mucho. Lo siento mucho, Casimiro. ''[&quot;I'm very sorry, I'm very sorry, Casimiro&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro''': Ok...
:'''Tatiana''': ''[while trying to hug him]'' Sorry, sorry...
:'''Casimiro''': No, no, no... lo sabía... lo sabía. ''[&quot;I knew it&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro''': ''[while walking out]'' Ciao, guys!

=== Cafe Hon [5.15] ===
:'''Gordon''': [Looking for the restaurant] Restaurant with flamingo. [Stops in surprise as he sees a giant pink flamingo above the restaurant] Holy Mackerel. Look at the size of that thing. Wow. Are you serious? Look at that. Wow, wow, wow!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[After dinner service chef Greg sitting out back as Chef Ramsay comes out as well]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, Jesus. Uh, what the fuck was that all about?
:'''Greg''': It's a shit job.
:'''Gordon''': Honestly?
:'''Greg''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': (Shakes head) And is she always like that?
:'''Greg''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': How do you concentrate like that?
:'''Greg''': You can't. I mean, you really can't!
:'''Gordon''': Why would she 86 everything in the middle of service?
:'''Greg''': I cannot tell you.

=== Chiarella's [5.16] ===

=== Zocalo [5.17] ===

== Season 6 ==

=== La Galleria 33 (Part 1) [6.01] ===
:''[Gordon calls out Pat]''
:'''Gordon''': Sir? You got two seconds? ''[Pat begins walking to Gordon]''
:'''Rita''': ''[aside; to Sara]'' I'm so afraid right now.
:'''Sara''': Why?
:'''Rita''': 'Cause I know what's coming next.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Pat]'' What's your first name?
:'''Pat''': Pat.
:'''Gordon''': Pat.
:'''Pat''': This for me is a new journey in life because I've always been a shoe salesman.
:'''Gordon''': Seriously? ''[looks down at Pat's shoes]''
:'''Pat''': Not a men's shoe salesman.
:'''Gordon''': Ah, ohhh. Sorry.
:'''Pat''': Women's exclusively.
:'''Gordon''': So you're not a cobbler.
:'''Pat''': No.
:'''Gordon''': Oh. I was gonna say.
:''[Rita goes to call Lisa]''
:'''Rita''': Lisa? 
:'''Lisa''': ''[to a diner]'' Right.
:'''Rita''': It's Pat. It's Pat...
:'''Lisa''': I don't really.. even wanna deal with that.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Pat]'' How would you rate the food?
:'''Pat''': Umm. The only issue is I cannot eat Italian food because I'm gluten intolerant.
:'''Gordon''': So, what are you here?
:'''Pat''': I'm a combination of everything. I'm like, manager slash...
:'''Gordon''': Oh so you're the manager here.
:'''Pat''': Everything else.
:'''Gordon''': Shit.
:'''Pat''': Slash everything else
:'''Gordon''': I didn't know that. So you're the manager.. of Galleria.
:'''Pat''': Galleria
:'''Gordon''': General manager/shoe salesman...
:'''Pat''': I'm also a host.
:'''Gordon''': You're a host?
:'''Pat''': And I'm a busperson. I do it all.
:'''Gordon''': Wow. Uhh Rita?
:'''Rita''': Yes? 
:'''Gordon''': Is Pat serious? General manager...
:'''Rita''': He is the busboy.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Pat]'' You're not the general manager?
:'''Pat''': I just assumed that role
:'''Gordon''': Oh you assumed the role. Ohh shit you just assigned that role to yourself.
:'''Pat''': I just assigned that role to myself
:'''Gordon''': Ohhh, fuck me. Wow. ''[Rita shakes her head and Pat laughs]''
:'''Rita''': I'm sweating. I'm sweating.
:'''Gordon''': You're sweating?
:'''Rita''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': I'm shitting myself
:'''Rita''': I'm also shitting myself. 
:'''Gordon''': Who is he?
:'''Rita''': He is the busman and I fired him and let me explain to you what he-
:'''Gordon''': Ohhh, hold on, hold on. You fired him?
:'''Rita''': I fired him.
:'''Gordon''': What did you fire him for?
:'''Rita''': Because he told me that he was more important than me and he got me on a bad day and I got upset and I fired him
:'''Gordon''': Serious?
:'''Rita''': So you what he did? He got an umbrella 'cause it was raining that day. He got an umbrella and he would walk by and look in like a very sad puppy and I'm like &quot;this poor guy&quot;, so I took him back. I took him back and now I just let him tell himself he's the manager (interview) For every thing that Pat does right, he does five things wrong. ''[to Pat]'' Go now, go. Ohh my, God.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you, Pat.
:'''Rita''': (interview) He's so fucking crazy that it's like, &quot;is it really worth even having him here?&quot;. He's... But it is, I love Pat. Pat's good.

=== La Galleria 33 (Part 2) [6.02] ===

=== Mama Maria's [6.03] ===

=== Ms. Jean's Southern Cuisine [6.04] ===

:''[Gordon has been served a pork chop so dry that he sets it upright on the plate]''

:'''Gordon:''' How sad is that? Honestly, come on. How...fucking...depressing...is that? It's like the map of America. ''[points around the pork chop]'' Start on the East Coast. There's California, where that little dark spot is. Come to central, Midwest. Then we have Seattle. We're here. ''[points]'' Pittsburgh. God bless America. ''[swats at a fly]'' Fuck off, fly.

=== Barefoot Bob's [6.05] ===
:''[Showing Marc and sous chef Chris the freezer and what he found in there]''
:'''Gordon''': Look. [Showing bag of pork belly that's raw]
:'''Chris''': Oh what, that is pork fat.
:'''Gordon''': Just hold that two seconds; that's next to this: [Pulls out container of chicken wings not frozen] Fucking wings, and the top is soaking wet because it's fucking full of condensation! And this! [Pulls container out] Who grabs that out there and doesn't think about changing the bowl. Who could be that dirty? Chili?
:'''Chris''': Chili.
:'''Gordon''': Shit around the outside. LOOK AT THE MESS OF THIS PLACE! It's fucking ridiculous! SOMEONE FUCKING MAN UP! [Stares at Chris who is petrified] Young man, you are running a business! Whole wings, next to the fucking raw pork? You'll kill everybody!

=== Revisited #8 [6.06] ===

=== Olde Hitching Post [6.07] ===
:'''Narrator:''' With Chef Ramsay hearing enough of the customer complaints, he decides he needs to further investigate the practices of the kitchen.
:''[Gordon opens up the bag of scallops]''
:'''Gordon:''' Dan?
:'''Dan:''' Yes, sir?
:'''Gordon:''' Do you buy them like that, in milk?
:'''Dan:''' No, we don't buy them like that.
:'''Gordon:''' Why are they like this? They're watery.
:'''Dan:''' Because, unfortunately, they are frozen ones. I know. Sorry.
:'''Gordon:''' Tom. I mean, honestly? Why are you doing this to yourself?
:'''Tom:''' Those were what they were.
:'''Gordon:''' Why are you doing this? ''[Smells his fingers]'' Just smell inside there. [''Smells scallops in the the bag]'' Come on. Just smell inside there.
:'''Tom:''' ''[Smells the scallops]'' Smells beautiful. Ocean fresh.
:'''Gordon:''' &quot;It smells beautiful, ocean fresh?&quot; ''[Shakes his head]'' Kevin, can you get me Andrea, please?
:'''Kevin:''' Andrea! Help back, please?
:'''Andrea:''' Are you kidding me right now?
:'''Gordon:''' So, Andrea, come 'round, please. You got two seconds? The scallops we're serving? They're frozen ones. ''[Points to Tom]'' He's in denial!
:'''Tom:''' I have to talk to you.
:'''Andrea:''' ''(under)'' Relax, Dad.
:'''Tom:''' ''(over)'' No, no no. I need to talk to you.
:'''Andrea:''' Just talk.
:'''Tom:''' There's nothing wrong. I eat myself. If you pick up this bag, I pick 'em up myself this morning. If you take this bag, they've been in the freezer for one day, or twenty-four hours, and pick up this one, you're gonna find the same seafood product.
:'''Gordon:''' I disagree.
:'''Tom:''' Go ahead and smell this one and smell that one. Tell me what the difference is.
:'''Gordon:''' You're trying to convince me that serving frozen food is better than fresh.
:'''Tom:''' It's not frozen!
:'''Gordon:''' They were in the fucking freezer. You buy them in the bulk fresh, you put them in the bags, you weigh them out...
:'''Tom:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' ...and you freeze them.
:'''Tom:''' Yes, I do.
:'''Gordon:''' And in the morning, you take out ten bags, you let them defrost, they sit in that piss like that, and then you cook them.
:'''Tom:''' Yes, I do that.
:'''Gordon:''' Right.
:'''Tom:''' But you will criticize me. The milk and the smell. It don't smell any different that one from this one. And I say they smell like ocean fresh, and they do!
:'''Gordon:''' So they smell the same once they've been frozen?
:'''Tom:''' It depends if you got 'em for one year in the freezer or one day. ''[Gordon looks in disgust]'' All right, all right.
:'''Gordon:''' You haven't got a clue what you're talking about! They smell fresher once they're defrosted? Shit! You're fucking loopy! They smell fresher after they've been frozen?! Oh, come on!
:'''Tom:''' Anybody's in the restaurant business...
:'''Gordon:''' ''What?!''
:'''Tom:''' ...no matter who he is.
:'''Gordon:''' Rule number one: when studying to be a chef, fresh food doesn't smell or taste fucking better once it's frozen! Shellfish is something you ''never'' freeze! And now, here you are lecturing me that that fucking thing is fresh!
:'''Tom:''' No! ''[Pounds the table]''
:''(After the commercial break)''
:'''Tom:''' It doesn't matter if it's frozen or not!
:'''Gordon:''' It doesn't matter if it's frozen or not?
:'''Tom:''' No!
:'''Gordon:''' You're trying to convince me that this idiotic setup is acceptable. Do you honestly think that your customers would be happy to pay for frozen shit being defrosted rapidly? They are under the impression in your fucking dining room that what you're cooking them is fresh! So, you're not going to convince me that this is better than serving it fresh! ''(To Andrea)'' What I've just said, does that make any sense?
:'''Andrea:''' Yes, it does.
:'''Gordon:''' It does? Thank God you're not as stubborn as your dad!
:'''Tom:''' (interview) If you don't like my food, don't even talk to me. I don't want you.

=== Levanti's Italian Restaurant [6.08] ===
''[Ramsay is inspecting the kitchen during dinner service, and has pulled out rotten chicken]''
:'''Gordon''': Dino? Urgently. That's the chicken we've been serving all night, yes? Why is it standing on that? Look how slimy it is! 
:'''Dino''': How old is that?
:'''Gordon''': ''[smells the chicken]'' Oh, my God! Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! Tony, two seconds? Tina, you're part of this. ''[Tony and Tina approaches]''  What. In. The. Fuck. Are we doing? How old is that?
:'''Dino''': I don't know.
:'''Gordon''': Look at the colour of the chicken. Green, and stinking. Hold that. ''[gets the fish]'' What is that?
:'''Tina''': Cod.
:'''Gordon''': In what?! We're serving that! ''[Tony is flabbergasted, Tina hangs her head, and tries to walk out]'' Excuse me? ''[gets a container of sauce from the refrigerator]'' Look at the way we work. ''[gets a pack of wilted basil]'' What is this? Anybody? ''[empties pack of the basil onto a tray]''
:'''Tony''': I have no idea.
:'''Gordon''': You've got no idea? ''[gets another container of sauce from the refrigerator]'' And this? How old is this? ''[takes plastic wrap off container]'' Oh, my God! You disgusting pigs! Look. At. That! Yeah, it's fermented. Just smell that. ''[Tony and Dino  smell the sauce]'' (to Tina) Come on, please. You own it. ''[Ramsay makes Tina take a waft of the sauce]'' Ladies?  ''[servers smell the sauce]'' We've been serving that. See the mould around the side?
:'''Sam''': I thought that was basil. Oh, my God!
:'''Gordon''': No, that's not basil. I wished it ''was'' fucking basil. How long does a sauce sit in the fridge to get mouldy around the top?
:'''Tina''': Quite a long time.
:'''Tony''': (testimonial) I didn't expect to see all of this. They're not doing the job they're supposed to be doing. And these guys, they're going to have a rough time now.
:'''Gordon''': Does the town of Beaver deserve ''[points to the moldy sauce]'' this?
:'''Dino''': Absolutely not.
:'''Gordon''': You should be ashamed. Ashamed! (to the Fratangeli siblings) Now, walk out there, and apologise to your guests, and try to do something you've never done in 14 years: fucking work together! ''[turns back on them]''
:'''Tina''': I'm not going out there. ''[the siblings and the chefs leave the kitchen; Tina walks out of the restaurant, leaving Dino to speak]''
:'''Dino''': (to the customers) Excuse me. We appreciate you guys coming out here and trying our restaurant tonight, but we won't be having any more service; Chef Ramsay has shut us down for the evening. Thank you.
:'''Gordon''': (overhears Dino's announcement from behind the kitchen) Fucking hell! Oh, God! God! ''[confronts Dino, who has returned to the kitchen]'' Dino, you're telling them that I'm shutting it down?
:'''Dino''': I was just--
:'''Gordon''': I heard you. I was standing behind the door. Chef Ramsay did ''not'' shut this down! I stopped the owners from serving shit food. But I am ''not'' going to continue that! Because you don't realise right now, young man, how bad you've become! So I'm not shutting it down; I'm just stopping you looking more stupid. ''[points to the moldy sauce]''  Did you honestly want to continue serving? So you want to continue? ''[Dino does not answer]'' You want to continue serving? ''[walks out to the dining room]'' Ladies and gentlemen, could I just have your attention for 30 seconds? First of all, my apologies, but I'm not going to BS anybody. I am ''not'' shutting this restaurant down, I am ''stopping'' the owners from serving this disgusting mess! From chicken that's already slimed, off, gone, to disgusting basil that was never fresh, to a tomato sauce that's actually caked in mould. I am ''not'' going to sit here and play party to that.
:'''Tony''': Oh, my God. I'm embarrassed.
:'''Gordon''': And whilst I am totally appreciative for you leaving your homes to come here tonight for dinner, I've got too much respect for you and too much respect for the industry. I am ''not'' going to be part of this any longer. My sincere apologies. ''[walks to the door and bumps into it, not realizing it's a pull door]'' Fucking door!

=== Sam's Mediterranean Kabob Room [6.09] ===
''[after Gordon returns his gyro]''
:'''Jamal''': You guys didn't cook the gyro right. Rubbery as it was.
:'''Emad''': Shut the fuck up! You're stupid!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[as Gordon was served overcooked lamb shank, the Najjar brothers were arguing within the diners' earshot]''
:'''Jamal''': You guys can't do your job right!
:'''Emad''': Why don't you shut the fuck up!?
:'''Sam''': Hey!
:'''Emad''': What!?
:'''Sam''': I don't want to hear any shouting in the kitchen!
:'''Emad''': Why don't you tell him to shut up?
:'''Sam''': Yeah. You too.
''[back at the dining room]''
:'''Gordon''': It looks anaemic, the colour's dreadful, and it tastes just like bland, boiled lamb.
''[at the kitchen, the brothers are still arguing]''
:'''Jamal''': You shouldn't be giving out garbage food. Are you serious?
:'''Samer''': You take over!
:'''Emad''': Why don't you take over!?
:'''Jamal''': I should!
:'''Emad''': Then do it!
:'''Jamal''': If you don't want it, then get out!
:'''Emad''': Do it!
:'''Jamal''': If you don't want it, then get out!
:'''Emad''': You're stupid!
''[at the dining room, the customers can hear arguing]''
:'''Gordon''': (to Leina) Do me a favour, send that back to fucking New Zealand.
:'''Leina''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': (overhearing Jamal, Emad, and Samer arguing) What's going on there?
:'''Leina''': They've been arguing, because he's (Jamal) telling him (Emad) that he doesn't know how to cook.
''[the brothers are still arguing as Ramsay speaks]''
:'''Emad''': Idiot, dude. Just go back to the front.
:'''Jamal''': Horrible. Horrible.
:'''Emad''': Who cares about his opinion? 
:'''Leina''': He says that the lamb, it just tasted like it was boiled in water. And he said, &quot;Send this back to New Zealand.&quot;
:'''Sam''': (testimonial) He tried it and he said, &quot;There is no flavor in it!&quot; But I believed myself I make the best lamb shank here in California. (back at the kitchen) I don't really know what to do. (waves a pan at Emad as if wanting to hit him with it)
:'''Jamal''': What were you doing again? Oh, yeah. Cook your food wrong.
:'''Wesam''': Nobody's talking to you! Stay back there!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Leina''': Chef Ramsay wants to see everybody, outside.
''(the Najjar brothers goes out of the kitchen to the dining room)''
:'''Gordon''': Before I start talking about the dishes, what was the fighting going on there?
:'''Wesam''': He just like to come back and argue pretty much about nothing.
:'''Jamal''': Actually, when we get a complaint, I tell them what's going on, and they can't take criticism.
:'''Samer''': No, that's not it.
:'''Jamal''': Let me talk!
:'''Samer''': You're making it seem that you're better than everything!
:'''Jamal''': (to Samer) So why are you still talking when I'm talking!? (to Gordon) If I come back there and let them know, &quot;Hey, this is dry&quot;, &quot;Hey, the hummus is messed up&quot;--
:'''Wesam''': No, we really accept that. But the fact that you come over there and, &quot;Hey, you guys can't cook. You guys are shit&quot;--
:'''Jamal''': I didn't say that!
''(the brothers continuing to argue)''
:'''Leina''': Okay, okay!
:'''Sam''': That's what I have everyday.
:'''Gordon''': Can I start talking about my lunch? The &quot;combo plate&quot;: eggplants, out of the can; hummus, bland; falafel, bland. Sam, you recommended lamb shank, but the bones were disintegrating. When the bones start disintegrating, that's three hours over-cooked.
:'''Sam''': I don't know what to tell you.
:'''Gordon''': Have you given up?
:'''Sam''': Not yet.
:'''Gordon''': Top sirloin: it was miles away from medium rare.
:'''Jamal''': Umm! (condescendingly points lips at Emad)
:'''Emad''': What are you &quot;umm&quot;-ing about? Shut up!
:'''Jamal''': Okay, no, no. 
:'''Emad''': I have nothing to do about --
:'''Leina''': Okay, okay.
:'''Gordon''': What's wrong?
:'''Emad''': He's (points at Jamal) making a scene like it's all my fault. He said, &quot;Umm, umm&quot; (mimics Jamal's condescension) like I'm doing something wrong.
:'''Jamal''': Yeah, who's been messing up all day before you walked in? So you know who's here, can't you just, like, step up?
:'''Emad''': You should have stepped up!
:'''Jamal''': I'm telling you guys what's wrong --
:'''Randah''': Okay. He (Jamal) wasn't in that position that day, so stop putting the blame on him. You guys (points at Emad, Wesam, and Samer) were cooking. 
:'''Jamal''': Who cooked his (Ramsay's) food?
:'''Wesam''': You were criticizing us all day!
:'''Randah''': Even if he was criticizing, you guys cooked the food!
:'''Jamal''': You guys were giving messed-up food. That's what happened, right? Then try it! Then tell me what you think.
:'''Gordon''': I've never seen anything like this. (to Emad) Have you given up?
:'''Emad''': (nods) Kind of.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Kind of.&quot; Do you care?
:'''Emad''': Not really.
:'''Gordon''': It shows you don't care.

=== Nino's Italian Restaurant [6.10] ===
:'''Gordon''': Nino, the restaurant's named after you. What's your role?
:'''Nino''': The person that has always been in charge was my dad. ''[Michael nods]'' And then when he developed his Alzheimer's, I stepped up in this business.
:'''Gordon''': Wow. What do you mean?
:'''Nino''': I get here early, I do the remedial things as janitorial vaccuming, ''[Michael shakes his head]'' cleaning of all these plates, cleaning the restrooms, scrubbing the toilets, ''[Carina shakes her head]'' washing the patio. That's just from 8 to about 4 maybe. Weekends usually I come in for extensive cleaning.
:'''Gordon''': Sounds like you do a lot of cleaning.
:'''Carina''': Cleaning? What are you talking about? The restaurant is a mess. ''[Michael laughs]''
:'''Gordon''': Take away the cleaning, what else do you do? ''[Nino doesn't respond]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael''': He spends a lot of time sitting down with customers. I mean not just visiting/promoting the business. Sitting down and talking for ''long'' periods of time, in the middle of lunch. And he's the only restaurant manager I think you would find anywhere, that has lunch at lunchtime. He spends a lot of time in the office watching TV
:'''Nino''': This is not even true. He's not here at 8 in the morning when I get here. Why would I come here at 8 in the morning-
:'''Michael''': That's a fantasy; watch TV!
:'''Nino''': The television here is 40 years old, and I have high def at home with all the channels I need. Why wouldn't I just stay there-
:'''Michael''': So you tell everyone you're working, 'cause nobody's here, you can say whatever you're doing, right? Stretching the truth!
:'''Nino''': It is not! My brother never tells the truth
:'''Michael''': Aha, I mean from a pathological liar, I take that as a compliment
:'''Nino''': He thinks I'm some kind of nut because I'm in a recovery program.
:'''Michael''': It has nothing to do with that, you're just a liar!
:'''Nino''': He thinks we're all living in a fantasy world according to him
:'''Michael''': No! I think you're in a fantasy world by the way you act here. My honest feeling is that he doesn't do crap here. He does a lot of sit''[Nino tries to protest]''-I'm talking. He makes everybody believe he does crap. Just like last night, he went up to every table and said, &quot;Hello, my name's Ninoooo!&quot;
:'''Nino''': That's not true.
:'''Michael:''' Nino, please! Couldn't you let me talk, Mr. Always-talking? I see it all the time, and that's why I kind of stay back from here, because I love this damn restaurant. And to see it just being run down drives...me...frigging...crazy. To my opinion, he doesn't do crap. My mom will admit it. My dad will admit, my sister will admit it, but I will come out and say it passionately: doesn't do crap.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': You are in denial.
:'''Nino''': No! I'm not.
:'''Gordon''': Bullshitting me and blowing smoke up my arse, telling me you work in there eight hours a day cleaning, telling me the food is great, people love it. I am shitting myself. The chef--
:'''Nino''': Then you need to wear diapers. You shouldn't be shitting on yourself.
:'''Gordon''': Are you okay?
:'''Nino''': Yeah, I'm fine.
:'''Gordon''': Or are you just trying to act like a fucking idiot to make yourself sound better?
:'''Nino''': No, I'm not. I'm not a fucking idiot.
:'''Gordon''': Well then, stop sounding like one.
:'''Nino''': You sound like a fucking idiot yourself.
:'''Gordon''': I sound like an idiot?
:'''Nino''': You used the word &quot;fucking&quot;. So I brought it back to you. I think that's-that's kind of gross.
:'''Carina''': (stepping in) Nino, we need to calm down.
:'''Gordon''': Unbelievable. Now I know the problem in this restaurant.
:'''Nino''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': I'm staring at it.
:'''Nino''': And I'm-I'm staring at it as well.
:'''Michael''': (interview) To be honest, I really don't know what's in Nino's head.
:'''Gordon''': Are we done?
:'''Michael''': (interview) It's almost like he's completely mentally unstable.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

=== Mill Street Bistro Part 1 [6.11] ===
''[Overlaid with the chefs taking food out of the freezer and nuking it in the microwave]''
:'''Joe: '''We do things with passion, with integrity... The food here at the bistro is the freshest, hands down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Joe's infamous &quot;micro-carrots&quot;]''
:'''Gordon:''' And these are... little carrots?
:'''Joe:''' Micro-carrots.
:'''Gordon:''' Micro-carrots? From...
:'''Joe:''' From a local farm.
:'''Gordon:''' Do you not think you should let it grow a bit?
:'''Joe:''' Well, I don't think they're there to be really eaten, they're for garnish.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay.
:'''Joe:''' It's a garnish. Nice to add some color.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay.
:'''Joe:''' But I would like to explain what we're spending on micro-carrots.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah. Can we go through this after?
:''[Gordon hands the carrots to Joe]''
:'''Joe: ''' ''[interview]'' I have staff here that'll take care of that. You don't hand me raw food in MY dining room.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[post-lunch meeting]''
:'''Gordon:''' Let me tell you something: You’re not a chef. Stop pretending to be one.
:'''Joe:''' Did I tell you I was a chef?
:'''Gordon:''' You told me you trained with the best chefs in Europe.
:'''Joe:''' I didn't fucking tell you that! ''(flashback to earlier at Joe’s farm)'' I am self-taught by old-school Europeans. Master chefs that had a liking to me.
:''(back to Mill Street Bistro)''
:'''Gordon:''' Who is the chef here?
:'''Joe:''' It's my kitchen, I'm the chef.
:'''Gordon:''' You just told me you're not, but now you are.
:'''Joe:''' I'm not a certified chef, like yourself.
:'''Gordon:''' No, I know that, but who cooks?
:'''Joe:''' I do.
:'''Gordon:''' Right. So you're the head chef. You write the menus, you dictate the special features.
:'''Joe:''' Correct.
:'''Gordon:''' Let me tell you something: You're not a fine-dining bistro. You're a small man with a fake bistro. You're shooting way above your station. You’ve totally misjudged your market, because all these pretentious ideas that you think are gonna work are screwed.
:'''Joe:''' What are you referring to?
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, here we go. I'll make it easy for you.
:'''Joe:''' Yeah, I speak English too.
:'''Gordon:''' Store-bought chocolate cake garnished with fake flowers. You don't even cook. You just prance around behind the line throwing raw bits of carrots on top of raw pastry. I've never come across a bistro anywhere in the world with name tags.
:'''Joe:''' In the world?
:'''Gordon:''' In the world.
:'''Joe:''' In the world? We'll research that.
:'''Gordon:''' You are so fucking arrogant, you don't even listen to your customers, let alone your staff. You have a gifted young group of servers that told me more problems and issues in the first 20 minutes of meeting them than you have done all fucking day.
:'''Joe:''' (laughs) Yeah, yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Now it's funny.
:'''Joe:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' From a fake fireplace to fake garnish, yet you want me to blow fucking smoke up your phony arse!
:'''Joe:''' I don't want you to blow smoke up my phony ass.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow.
:'''Joe:''' It was petite micro-carrots that was the garnish.
:'''Gordon:''' It's not just about the carrots. Carrots is just a fucking example of 20 things that have gone wrong!
:'''Joe:''' You're busting my balls!
:'''Gordon:''' Because you're in fucking denial!
:''(one of the employees whistles and imitates a bomb dropping)''
:'''Gordon:''' You want me just to come in and change your carrots, and make some fresh fucking chocolate cake for you?
:'''Joe:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' I'm lost for words. Uh, I don't know what to say. Do you know what you could do for me? Impress me with your dinner service. Show me how you function, “Chef.”
:'''Joe:''' Do you want to see what comes back? Our elk does not come back.
:'''Gordon:''' I'm deeply sorry your feelings are hurt.
:'''Joe:''' My fucking feelings ain't hurt. You can't hurt my feelings.
:'''Gordon:''' You're ignoring my advice.
:'''Joe:''' No, I'm not.
:'''Gordon:''' And you're going up against me.
:'''Joe:''' No, I'm not ignoring your advice.
:'''Gordon:''' Yes, you are.
:'''One of the employees:''' I feel like Christmas has come early.
:'''Gordon:''' Defensive, ignorant, and in complete denial.
:'''Joe:''' And guess what? If I'm all that, you're my twin!
:'''Gordon:''' What?
:'''Joe:''' Yeah, 'cause I've been called you here many times. So let's get over the bullshit.
:'''Gordon:''' (softly in Joe’s ear) I can cook, Joe. (normal) When you have the arrogance to stand in front of me and charge your locals 35 fucking dollars for entrées that are inedible, have a look at yourself, man.
:'''Joe:''' People seem to enjoy it.
:'''Gordon:''' Bull-shit.
:'''Joe:''' Bull-shit.
:'''Gordon:''' (sighs) Fuck off.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[after examining the fridge and finding no meat from Joe’s farm despite what Joe claimed earlier]''
:'''Gordon:''' Joe, I get upset when I see fakery from a frozen ravioli, a frozen perch, frozen oysters. And when you deny it, that makes me mad.
:'''Joe:''' Well, let's talk about that.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, because you're making up stories.
:'''Joe:''' I'm not making up stories.
:'''Gordon:''' Yes, you are. That's how fucking deluded you are.
:'''Joe:''' No, I'm not deluded. We have fresh stuff, okay?
:'''Gordon:''' I'm struggling here to stay in this building right now. I swear to God.
:'''Joe:''' Gordon, I got to cook right now.
:'''Gordon:''' Now isn’t a good time? I wish you would. I'm standing here watching a dead man walking.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[examining and debating over the onion soup]''
:'''Gordon:''' Are they raw onions in there? What's that? Did you put raw onions in there?
:'''Tom:''' I didn’t; no.
:'''Gordon:''' Why are we doing this to each other?
:'''Tom:''' I don’t know.
:'''Gordon:''' Is this a wind-up? Look at me. You're putting raw onions in the soup. I don't know if you're just fucking around. I'm—I'm lost, Joe. Why are you doing this?
:'''Joe:''' You said earlier that it needed more onions. Okay? We responded by putting the onions in there, so they had more of a bite to it.
:'''Gordon:''' It's raw. What's the matter with you? We send that out, it’s going to come straight back!
:'''Joe:''' What do you want to hear?
:'''Gordon:''' Take it off, Joe!
:'''Joe:''' Take it off the menu?
:'''Gordon:''' 86 it! Save whatever little reputation you've got left! MAN! Surely you've got a bit more respect than that! I'm trying to reason with you, Joe.
:'''Joe:''' I get it.
:'''Gordon:''' Fine.
:'''Joe:''' I get it.
:'''Gordon:''' Fine! But I am not here to show an idiot you can't put fucking raw onions in an onion soup! I can't teach you that! That's called common sense! That, in your tiny mind, is not common!
:'''Joe:''' Pardon?
:'''Gordon:''' (to Tom) Come here, you. Should we put raw onions in a caramelised onion soup?! '''''TELL HIM!!'''''
:'''Tom:''' (to Joe) No.
:'''Gordon:''' (to Tom) Thank you! (to Joe) You've got talented staff to tell you that! '''''Ask your chef!'''''

=== Mill Street Bistro Part 2 [6.12] ===

:'''Joe''': ''[starts making an elk quesadilla]'' Do you want to see how we make this crap?
:'''Gordon''': I haven't got the appetite, Joe.
:'''Joe''': I know because you wouldn't come over here and say &quot;Don't get it that crispy.&quot; or &quot;Don't do that with it.&quot;
:'''Gordon''': What the fuck are you on? What the fuck are you on? I won't come over here saying &quot;Get that a bit crispy&quot;. An elk quesadilla that you want confirmation that it's a fucking good dish? When are you going to pull your head out of your fucking arsehole?! For a man who stands there and boasts at his fucking farm and his goats and you want me to talk about this?! Seriously?! Wake up, Joe! You're joking, aren't you?
:'''Joe''': We're making these two these. You know what I'm saying? I know you don't like the dish.
:'''Gordon''': It's disgusting, Joe!
:'''Joe''': So you wouldn't give me any input on it?
:'''Gordon''': Get rid of it!
:'''Joe''': You want me to get rid of it right fucking now?!
:'''Gordon''': I would! I would!
:'''Joe''': Get rid of the fucking thing! We don't have it!
:'''Gordon''': Oh, here we go! Here we go!
:'''Joe''': We don't have it!
:'''Gordon''': Here we fucking go!
:'''Joe''': Make yourself clear.
:'''Gordon''': Stop asking such ridiculous questions! &quot;Come over here and tell me it's crispy.&quot; '''''ARE YOU THAT STUPID?!!'''''
:'''Joe''': So don't - fucking - serve the thing, right?
:'''Gordon''': '''WHOSE RESTAURANT IS IT?!'''
:'''Joe''': It's my restaurant, and I'm asking for fucking help!
:'''Gordon''': ''(over)'' '''THEN ACT... FUCKING RESPONSIBLE!!!'''
:'''Joe''': I'm asking for FUCKING help!
:'''Gordon''': THEN WAKE UP!!
:'''Joe''': You wake up!
:'''Gordon''': IDIOT!!
:'''Joe''': Fucking come in here and help me, instead of running your jaw!
:'''Gordon''': You shouldn't even be IN the kitchen! GET OUT!! GET OUT!!
:'''Joe''': ''(under)'' Go ahead! Go ahead! You put it all together! You got it right!
:'''Gordon''': ''(to Tom)'' Let's finish this! Let's finish it! ''(to Joe)'' FUCK OFF THEN!!
:'''Joe''': You fuck off!
:'''Gordon''': ''(throws the quesadillas on the floor)'' Yeah, and take that shit with you! That's right, we're stopping an elk quesadilla! Breaking news in Mexico!
:'''Joe''': That's all I'm asking!
:'''Gordon''': '''''GET OUT!!!''''' Now we got rid of the fucking problem. Unbelievable. Un-fucking-real.

=== Yanni's (6.13) ===
:'''Gordon:''' Greasy as anything. It's a huge ball of grease. I love moussaka, but that is miles off. Moussaka? Mou-&lt;i&gt;suck.&lt;/i&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[having gathered the staff in the kitchen]''
:'''Gordon:''' I've never seen this before! Every fucking fridge is full of fresh stuff and old stuff. Unfortunately, the old stuff's tainting the fresh stuff, so what you ''think'' is fresh is no longer fresh. And those poor fuckers out there are eating this.
:'''Alyse:''' Can I-? 
:'''Gordon:''' No, you can't. I'm not going to let you cook any more. Yeah, that's right. You want to continue cooking? You think it's funny, do you? No, Alyse, if anyone can walk past ROTTEN food in a fridge, and continue cooking fresh, you shouldn't be FUCKIN' anywhere near food! And then when I hear, &quot;Oh, I've never seen that before!&quot; THEN OPEN YOUR FUCKIN' EYES!
:''[pause]''
:'''Peter:''' I just don't believe this. You know, what happened to &quot;check things&quot;?
:'''Alyse:''' I don't know what happened.
:'''Peter:''' ''(fishing out a beer can from a bucket)'' What the fuck is this!? Do you guys like this shit to drink? Don't leave those in there for so long! ''(gestures wildly to the fridge) Look!'' Look in there! That's embarrassing!
:'''Alyse:''' But we don't ''use'' it.
:'''Peter:''' I can't keep up with everything! I fuckin' baby-sit you like kids! And you still fuck me! I don't need to baby-sit; if I want to baby-sit, I'd go baby-sit my granddaughter! She's more fun than you guys!

=== Prohibition Grille [6.14] ===
:'''Rishi:''' I thought it would be a good idea to open a restaurant.
:'''Gordon:''' Were you intoxicated at the time?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Rishi:''' Chef Ramsay, I like the pinwheel.
:'''Gordon:''' I'm not asking you if you like it. You give your food ten out of ten, so me talking to you about food is like, 'yeah, I'm talking to a brick wall, behind you'.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' Overcooked, tasteless mush.
:'''Rishi:''' I thought they tasted great. They were overcooked though.
:'''Gordon:''' You knew they were overcooked - have you any idea how fucking deluded you sound?
:'''Rishi:''' What?
:'''Gordon:''' How can something be fucking delicious and overcooked? There's no such thing! Aaaargh!

=== Chappy's [6.15] ===
:'''Gordon''': Looks like Chappy took a crappy in my gumbo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': I’m not going to say this in front of your staff - you’re a joke.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': You’ve taught every chef in the world how not to cook.

=== Amy's Baking Company [6.16] ===
:'''Amy''': I am going to really ''hurt'' somebody if they send back my cakes!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon catches with Samy pocketing the tips]''
:'''Gordon''': Wow. Ten-dollar tip?
:'''Samy''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Nice. For you?
:'''Samy''': Of course, yeah. Why not?
:'''Gordon''': Don't you think the girl deserves some tips tonight?
:'''Samy''': No. They get paid hourly.
:'''Gordon''': And so, did you think that if I went and asked every customer that when they leave a tip, it goes straight to the owner and not to the server, do you think they'd be astounded? Let me ask that table there. (to the customers at the table) Sir, the tip that you left to the young lady server, the owner takes the tips.
:'''Customers''': That's horrible!
:'''Samy''': No, no, no, no!
:'''Gordon''': Don't '''''FUCK''''' with me!
:'''Samy''': Yeah, I will fuck with you! Who the fuck do you think you are!?
:'''Amy''': Oh, my god. Samy's going to hurt him.
:'''Gordon''': I'm fed up. I'm getting sick and tired of your bullshit.
:'''Samy''': Don't speak with me like a villain.
:'''Gordon''': Why not fucking answer my question?
:'''Samy''': I am the gangster, not you. 
:'''Gordon''': Then fucking answer my question. Tell the customers they're going to get their tips.
:'''Samy''': No, they don't!
:'''Gordon''': They should be told that you're taking them, because these servers deserve them.
:'''Samy''': You want to speak with me?
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, I want to speak with you.
:'''Samy''': Do you want to fuck with me? I will fuck with you.
:'''Gordon''': I don't want to fuck with you.
:'''Samy''': Then, I will fuck with you.
:'''Amy''': Oh, my god. What a joke.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': I can't help people... that can't help themselves... and cannot ever take one ounce of criticism. And if you're not willing to change, I'm not going to butt heads, argue, scream, whatever you want to say. But, this is not normal. And it's not normal for a restaurant to go through that many staff. It's not normal for a kitchen that small to have 65 items on the menu. And it's not normal for the level of animosity that you built inside this restaurant and outside. You have the right to run the business the way you want to run your business. I have the right to do the right thing. And the right thing for me... is to get out of here. Good luck.
:''[Gordon leaves via the restaurant's front door]''
:'''Gordon''': Wow.
:'''Samy''': This is what you wanted?
:'''Amy''': Yeah, of course this is what I wanted. I'm not participating in this shit, give me a break! (points to her microphone) Can I take this thing off me? (interview) We don't need his help! Maybe he knows that.
:''[the production crew is shown dismantling the camera and lighting equipment]''
:'''Crew member:''' It all has to come down.
:'''Amy''': (interview) And now he's gone, he walked away. He'll go on with his life, and Samy and I will go on with our life.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Well, it's finally happened. After almost a hundred Kitchen Nightmares, I met two owners who I could not help. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it was because they are incapable of listening. And in a short period of time, they've managed to piss off the community and go through over a hundred employees in one year. Samy and Amy continued to blame everyone else, yet their biggest problem is themselves. And I know whatever changes I would've made, they were never going to stick with them and that's why I've decided to do something I've never done before. It's such a shame.
:''[Gordon walks to and enters his car, starts the engine, and drives off]''

== Season 7 ==

=== Return to Amy's Baking Company [7.01] ===

=== Pantaleone's [7.02] ===
:''(Paulette has just placed a HUGE pizza in front of Gordon]''
:'''Paulette: '''Here's your sausage pizza.
:'''Gordon: ''' ''[eyes wide as saucers]'' Holy crap...
:'''Paulette: '''Isn't that ridiculous?
:'''Gordon: ''' ''[facepalms]'' It's like the pizza that ate Denver.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Remarking on a disappointing meatball hero sandwich]''
:'''Gordon: '''Definitely not a hero, there. There's a typo on the menu. It's not &quot;hero&quot;, it's &quot;zero&quot;.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After pouring a sinister yellow liquid off his linguine with clams]''
:'''Gordon: ''' Looks like one of the worst urine samples you could ever give.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After Gordon conducts a taste test... and Pete's pizza does not exactly come out looking good...]''
:'''Gordon: ''' I think, Pete, you've overestimated how good your pizza is. ... I did a little research in Denver. Here's the results in a nutshell. 75 percent of our taste-testers preferred pizza A from the top local Italian restaurant. In second place, with 15 percent of the votes, was a store-bought frozen pizza. And in third, and last position, was yours, with 10 percent ONLY of the votes. Yours was the least favourite, you're actually beaten by a store-bought fucking frozen pizza. Get the message?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pete: '''I love you, you old Brit.

=== Old Neighborhood [7.03] ===
:'''Gordon''': How can I help two individuals who don't care about what they're doing?
:'''Randy''': We do care.
:'''Alexa''': We care tremendously.
:'''Gordon''': So, why didn't you do anything before I got here?
:'''Randy''': We did. I can't tell you how many hours we cleaned.
:'''Gordon''': You cleaned before I got here?
:'''Randy''': I threw out my clothes on Monday, I was so encased with grease.
:'''Gordon''': How long?
:'''Randy''': How many hours?
:'''Gordon''': HOW MANY DAYS?!
:'''Randy''': Five?
:'''Gordon''': SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?!!
:'''Alexa''': We just need to stop.
:'''Gordon''': ''[walking out of the restaurant]'' What a fucking mess!

=== Kati Allo [7.04] ===
:'''Irene''': Ok, this is the traditional Loukaniko; the Greek sausage.
:'''Gordon''': The sausage. Look at that. Are they... is that deep fried?
:'''Irene''': They fry it, and they sautée with the wine.
:'''Gordon''': It's bland. When you fry sausage like that, the flavor's gone. It looks like the remainder of a dog chew. That is a mess. ''[Smells it]'' Puhh, it just smells of fried. Where's the white wine and garlic?
:'''Irene''': Too much grease?
:'''Gordon''': I mean, that's just grease. There's more grease in this plate than there is in the Greek isles.
:'''Irene''': I-I'm so sorry, I don't know...
:'''Gordon''': Just taste that... please. Does that remind you of Greece? 
:'''Irene''': Only I taste garlic... and grease.
:'''Gordon''': This area of Queens is called Flushing; right now, I'd like to flush these right down the toilet!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[food comes from lift]''
:'''Gordon''': What is that? Where is this coming from?
:'''Chef:''' This is for the special.
:'''Gordon:''' For the special. That's all hot. No, I know, but wait. It's all hot. Where is it coming from?
:'''Chef:''' Downstairs.
:'''Gordon:''' So you have a team of chefs downstairs as well?
:'''Chef:''' No. Only one woman... put in the microwave.
:'''Gordon:''' Only one woman?
:'''Chef:''' Yes. That's all the work she do.
:'''Gordon:''' [yelling down the lift] Hello? Hello? Hello? Wow. [talking to Christina] Christina, there's a lady downstairs that heats this stuff up.
:'''Christina:''' Yeah, she puts these in the microwave.
:'''Gordon:''' What is that?

=== Mangia, Mangia (Part 1) [7.05] ===
:'''Julie''': Our spinach has never never never never NEVER looked like this!!

:'''Kevin''': This restaurant runs like the &lt;i&gt;Jerry Springer Show.&lt;/i&gt;

:'''Mike''': The food... isn't cooked with much love. It's cooked with stress and a microwave.

=== Mangia, Mangia (Part 2) [7.06] ===
:'''Janelle''': Hey Kevin, let's talk about how many times you haven't shown up to work without your tie.
:'''Kevin''': Two times.
:'''Janelle''': You're so disrespectful to her! You need to show a little respect!
:'''Trevor''': She doesn't listen to anything we have to fucking say!
:'''Janelle''': She tries to but you guys don't give her a chance!
:'''Julie''': Trevor, I have talked to you a hundred times about, stop! I've talked to you over and over, you know I'm not fucking lying, you are! I have sat down and talked to you so many times and said &quot;What can we do to make this better?&quot; and you never fucking say anything, so that's a fucking lie!
:'''Trevor''': But when I do say something, it gets shut down!
:'''Julie''': You are fucking lying!
:'''Trevor''': Whatever!
:'''Janelle''': She's given you so many chances Trevor and you know it! Let's talk about your habits for a second and all the times, you've come in so high that you throw shit at the walls! So high, you fucking punch people!
:'''Trevor''': WHO INTERROGATES IT?! YOU!!!
:'''Janelle''': NO, FUCKING YOU!!
:'''Trevor''': YOU OUGHT TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS RESTAURANT SO WE CAN WORK!!
:'''Janelle''': NO!! I DON'T FUCKING OWE YOU ANYTHING!! YOU'RE SO HIGH ALL THE FUCKING TIME THAT WHEN YOU GO OFF FUCKING DRUGS, YOU'RE SO ANGRY THAT YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO WORK!
:'''Gordon''': Drugs? Who's on drugs?
:'''Janelle''': He's a fucking tweaker! AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FUCKING TWEAKER! YOU'VE BEEN DOING DRUGS FOR THREE YEARS!!!
:'''Gordon''': Janelle, Janelle.
:'''Julie''': Janelle, come here.
:'''Janelle''': NO, FUCK HIM!! '''HE DESERVES TO BE FIRED AND YOU KNOW IT!!! HE TRIED TO FUCKING PUNCH ME!!!! AND IF I WOULD'VE LET HIM RIGHT NOW, I KNOW HE WOULD'VE FUCKING PUNCHED ME AGAIN!!!''' HE'S SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE!! HE'S SO DISRESPECTFUL!! (cries)
:'''Gordon''': Okay, stay away from him now. Darling, go inside the restaurant please, and get a glass of water please.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Gordon:'''&lt;i&gt;[handing Mike a dish of lasagna]&lt;/i&gt; Okay, now into the microwave for four minutes--
:''[Mike, out of habit, reaches for it. Gordon yanks it back.]''
:'''Gordon:''' Fuck off. Are you serious?!
:''[Everyone laughs.]''
:'''Gordon:''' You're good at taking orders, but you've got a brain. Use it.

=== Zayna Flaming Grill (Part 1) [7.07] ===
:'''Gordon''': I've got a little quiz. Are you ready for this? ... How do you spell 'bistro'?
:'''Mark''': B-I-S-T-R-O.
:'''Gordon''': Uh-huh, good. Now, how do you spell 'dining'?
:''[Mark puzzles for a moment]''
:'''Mark''': D-I-N-N-I-N-G.
''[Gordon rolls his eyes]''
''[Amel laughs]''
:'''Gordon''': So, you wrote this menu?
:''[Mark laughs, nervously]''

=== Zayna Flaming Grill (Part 2) [7.08] ===

=== Bella Luna [7.09] ===
:''[Gordon meeting Traci, the manager, and discussing the problems with the restaurant]''
:'''Gordon:''' Are the locals biting?
:'''Traci:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' No? No one's biting?
:'''Traci:''' No. Not at all. And this place should be banging. We have to do things. I run a 50 Shades Of Grey bingo on Thursday night.
:'''Gordon:''' Say that again?
:'''Traci:''' 50 Shades Of Grey bingo.
:'''Gordon:''' Bingo?
:'''Traci:''' It's adult bingo.
:'''Gordon:''' Adult bingo?
:'''Traci:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Are handcuffs involved?
:'''Traci:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' No?
:'''Traci:''' Well, they could be if you wanted them.
:'''Gordon:''' But, I mean, why would you-- ''[facepalms]'' No, God, no. Geez, man.
:'''Traci:''' ''[laughing]''
:'''Gordon:''' I just arrived!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' Are you kidding me? (to the staff) All of you, quick! ''(staff comes to Gordon)'' If you think I'm serving that, you're dreaming. We may as well go back to where we were!
:'''One of the staff:''' All right.
:'''Gordon:''' All of a sudden, we've just dropped our fucking standards! The next person that throws that out at me, I will throw them out!
:'''One of the staff:''' Yes, Chef.
:'''Gianfranco:''' Come on, guys, let's go.
:'''Gordon:''' Come here, you. ''(takes Gianfranco outside)'' Is that what—is that what you busted your arse off for?
:'''Gianfranco:''' No. No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
:'''Gordon:''' Come on!
:'''Gianfranco:''' You're right.
:'''Gordon:''' It's in front of your eyes. Get 'em together! ''(throws plate of lasagna on the ground)''

[[Category:FOX shows]]
[[Category:Reality TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>0jm1oy6lhtfmncvkja4u74wxpq96nfc</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Hell's Kitchen/Season 11</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>142402</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149089</id>
      <parentid>3135401</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:31:06Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1700:24A3:170:D4A2:A79F:1283:CA5B</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Episode Six [11.6] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="59461" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 1|1]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 2|2]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 3|3]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 4|4]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 5|5]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 6|6]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 7|7]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 8|8]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 9|9]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 10|10]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 11|11]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 12|12]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 13|13]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 14|14]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 15|15]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 16|16]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 17|17]] | '''[[Hell's Kitchen|Main]]'''
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)|Hell's Kitchen]]''''' is an American cooking reality show based on [[w:Hell's Kitchen (UK)|the British program of the same title]], where Chef [[w:Gordon Ramsay|Gordon Ramsay]] puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

=== Episode One [11.1] ===

''[Signature dishes before a live audience at Caesar's Palace]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[Looking at Dan's dish]'' Seriously, did you throw up on that plate? Let's go back 45 minutes.
:'''Dan''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': What is it supposed to be?
:'''Dan''': Eggs Benedict with a champagne hollandaise sauce and sourdough bread, heirloom tomatoes and sautéed spinach.
:'''Gordon''': And how did you make the hollandaise?
:'''Dan''': I used whole butter. If it's good enough for Julia Child, it's good enough for me.
:'''Gordon''': Julia Child would be turning in her grave right now if she saw that. (tastes) It's fitting that you made this in Vegas because whoever eats that is sure to get the craps. Let me tell you. That is a joke.

=== Episode Two [11.2] ===

''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Gina]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, Jesus. All of you, come here. Let me show you a little waterfall. ''[tilts the plate]''
:'''Mary''': Oh, my gosh.
:'''Gordon''': Just touch them. Cold, overcooked.
:'''Susan''': Switch up scallops, guys.
:'''Ja'Nel''': Mary, do you want to do scallops?
:'''Gina Aloise''': No, I want to do scallops, somebody else got to do risotto. ''[Nedra gives a shocked face]''
:'''Gordon''': What do you mean?
:'''Nedra''': (interview) Oh, wait. Hell, no! Gina, don't throw me under the bus because your shit ain't right. (to Gina) How long on scallops?
:'''Gina Aloise''': (interview) Nedra, just fuck off.
:'''Ja'Nel''': You've got some good color on there. You'll burn it.
:'''Nedra''': (interview) This bitch couldn't cook a scallop to save her life. I know that Chef is about to find out.
:'''Gina Aloise''': I've got the scallops ready.
:'''Susan''': Go Gina, you got to go.
:'''Gina Aloise''': Walking scallops chef.
:'''Nedra''': (interview) Mmm-hmm. Good luck to you, Gina! ''(brings her risotto to the pass)'' Risotto, right behind you chef, hot.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks Gina's scallops]'' Aah? Hard! All of you, come here! ''[gets a scallop and flips it like a coin; throws it on the workstation]'' I guarantee a complete service tonight. You can't even hold it together for the second ticket. Get out, Gina!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on capellini brought up by Sebastian]''
:'''Gordon''': Taste that. How hot is that?
:'''Sous-Chef James''': Spicy, spicy.
:'''Gordon''': ''(returns to the workstation and spits pasta out)'' All of you, taste that! It's too spicy and it's disgusting! ''[throws his spoon away on the workstation]'' And again, scallops cooked beautifully.
:'''Zach''': (interview) What the fuck is going on? It's like deja vu on this motherfucker.
:'''Gordon''': (to Zach) How many times have you cooked scallops and not serve them?
:'''Zach''': Twice chef.
:'''Sebastian''': Sorry, bro.
:'''Gordon''': Sebastian, get it together!
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, chef!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Come on guys, let's go.
:'''Sebastian''': Okay Mikey-Wikey. (interview) I messed up a few times but I'm getting into the groove. I'm playing around. I'm trying to make the environment a little looser.
:'''Sebastian''': Zachy, talk to me.
:'''Zach''': (to Michael) We've got three halibut, one branzino.
:'''Sebastian''': Zacky-Wacky!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, you! Hey! Come here, you. Zacky-Wacky?
:'''Sebastian''': Chef Zach!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, look at me. Hey, look-- Is this a fucking joke?
:'''Sebastian''': No, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Zacky-Wacky?!
:'''Sebastian''': Sorry, I apologize about that, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, do me a favour: GET OUT!
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Fuck off, will you? Get out!
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Upstairs, GET OUT!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) So Sebastian gets kicked out. Didn't see that coming.
:'''Gordon''': Zacky-Wacky?
:''[Sebastian runs back into the kitchen]''
:'''Dan''': What are you doing?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Where the hell are you going Sebastian? Okay, yeah, you can come back.
:'''Gordon''': Second time! Get out!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) God, are you kidding me?
:'''Gordon''': Fuck off! Wacky!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon asks for lamb in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Lamb! Come on, Michael! Bit of energy!
:'''Michael Langdon''': ''[brings his lamb to the pass]'' Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks the lamb; returns to the workstation]'' Terrible. Embarrassment.
:'''Barret''': Oh, God. (interview) Fuck, it's coming back.
:'''Gordon''': Time out! Stop!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': The bone thicker than the fucking meat.
:'''Dan''': (interview) There needs to be meat on there. This is not a fucking dog's chew-toy, this is lamb!
:'''Gordon''': And if that is not bad enough. ''[Shows the wellington which is cremated]''
:'''Barret''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': They are way overcooked.
:'''Barret''': Horrible. Fuck!
:'''Zach''': (interview) Michael and Barret, dumb and dumber!
:'''Gordon''': You don't slice the wellington until the lamb's ready.
:'''Barret''': Yes, chef.
:''[Sebastian returns to the kitchen once again]'' 
:'''Gordon''': And when it's together like-- (sees Sebastian) Oh, you!
:'''Sebastian''': Chef? Can I please come back, chef?
:'''Jon''': (interview) Dude really, what are you doing? Perfect fucking timing.
:'''Gordon''': You, come here you. You're making me look stupid.
:'''Sebastian''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': The blue team, one hour into service and not one entrée out. You, (Sebastian) for the last time, take him (Barret) and him (Michael) and get out! And let me tell you something, you come back downstairs again, you'll be leaving through the front door. Now GET OUT! Three of you! You (Ray) on meat. You (Anthony) on meat. ''[Barret stands in the doorway]'' Oi! '''GET OUT!!!'''
:'''Barret''': (interview) Now, I'm pissed off. I didn't do anything to get kicked out of this dinner service. ''(angrily throws his apron)''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon returns a garnish with undercooked potatoes brought up by Susan]''
:'''Gordon''': Ladies! Touch them.
:'''Nedra''': Hard, chef.
:'''Susan''': (interview) Oh, my God. That's my garnish.
:'''Gordon''': Who cooked them?
:'''Susan''': I did, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, you, get out! Get out!
:'''Susan''': ''[under her breath]'' You're kidding me.
:'''Gordon''': Hey, madam, you think it's funny?
:'''Susan''': No, no, no!
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, take your shit with you.
:'''Susan''': (interview) I know that this is not funny. I don't deserve to be kicked out of the kitchen. Danielle does. She was the one bringing the station down.
:'''Gordon''': Danielle, don't stop the redo, hurry up! After that, two chicken, two wellington.
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Two chicken, two wellington. Yes, chef. Sorry, chef, I'm confused. Do you need the one for the redo and the two chicken and two wellington or do you just want the two chicken and two wellington?
:''[brief pause]''
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Three halibut, one bass, one chicken. Come on, guys!
:'''Ray, Jeremy and Zach''': Yes, chef.
:''[Jeremy's kale catches fire]''
:'''Zach''': (interview) I'm looking at Jeremy sautéing that kale. I can see the kale nearly catching fire getting burnt!
:'''Zach''': Chef, turn that down.
:'''Jeremy''': Yeah, yeah.
:'''Zach''': Don't even serve that.
:'''Jeremy''': I'm not. Worry about your side, let me do my side! Yeah?
:'''Zach''': (interview) Motherfucker what?!
:'''Dan''': Hey, no territory bullshit!
:'''Jeremy''': (interview) It's my station and I don't need his help. So shut up and do what you're supposed to be doing.
:'''Zach''': Unfucking believable.
:'''Gordon''': Can we go with three halibut, one bass, one chicken?
:'''Anthony''': Seven minutes to the window.
:'''Gordon''': (to Jeremy) What are we going with?
:'''Jeremy''': Two halibut, one chicken chef.
:'''Dan''': Three halibut!
:'''Jeremy''': Three halibut, one chicken chef.
:'''Gordon''': Three halibut, one bass, one chicken! What are we going with?
:'''Jeremy''': (starts stuttering) The three sleep, the three, three halibut, the two, two, uhh...
:''[Gordon pounds the workstation]''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Jeremy, he's telling it to you. Just say it right back man! I'm pretty sure birds can do that!
:'''Gordon''': Three halibut, one bass, one chicken. What's going?
:'''Jeremy''': Three halibut, two f..., two uh...
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!!
:'''Zach''': (interview) Bye, bye Jeremy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[sees Jacqueline drinking water]'' What are you doing?
:'''Jacqueline''': I had to get my water, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Get out!
:'''Jacqueline''': (under her breath) Alright, whatever.
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!
:'''Jacqueline''': (interview) Chef Ramsay told me to get out. I'm like, alright, I'm going to go upstairs and rehydrate myself!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on the risotto by Jon]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, man! ''[returns the risotto to the work station]'' ''[to Jon]'' Look at there! Stuck to the bottom of the pan!
:'''Jon''': Fuck, man!
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Jon]'' Jon, take Dan and yourself, and get the fuck out of here! ''[Jon and Dan leave the kitchen]'' 
:'''Zach''': (interview) When somebody gets kicked out the kitchen, they put more pressure on the next man.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Ray]'' Raymond, taste that! ''[Ray tastes the risotto with his bare fingers]'' Fingers, spoons are everywhere.
:'''Raymond''': Bland, chef.
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Ray, you just stick your finger in to a risotto in front of Chef Ramsay in Hell's Kitchen. That's just stupid!
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Ray]'' You may be the oldest, but out of respect, FUCK OFF!
:'''Raymond''': Yes, chef.
''[Ray leaves the kitchen]''
:'''Zach''': You got to be shitting me! (interview) Blue Kitchen tonight is like being in the middle of a natural disaster. ''[to Anthony]'' My fucking heart is beating (interview) I'm not feeling good right now, it's getting hot, I start feeling pressure.
:'''Anthony''': ''[to Zach]'' You good?
:'''Zach''': I got it, I got it, I'm just breathing.
:'''Gordon''': Risotto?
:'''Anthony''': ''[brings up the risotto]'' Risotto, chef.
''[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Anthony]''
:'''Gordon''': (to Anthony) Just taste that.
:'''Anthony''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, fuck.
:'''Zach''': (interview) Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Get out! Get out!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Sebastian tried to be funny, but it was his cooking that was the joke.

=== Episode Three [11.3] ===

:'''Nedra''': ''(Knocks on a counter in the dorm)'' Let's press the bell, bitch, because we can argue!
:'''Susan''': Ding!
:'''Gina''': Don't call me &quot;bitch&quot;!
:'''Nedra''': Don't mess with a heavyweight and you're a lightweight.
:'''Gina''': You're dealing with the wrong person!
:'''Nedra''': Yes, I'm dealing with a crazy, deranged person!
:'''Gina''': What a fucking baby.
:'''Nedra''': You need to watch your stuff.
:'''Gina''': ''(mockingly as she goes into the bedroom)'' Eah, she pointed her finger at me about the risotto, fuck off! ''(slams the door shut which causes a roof tile to come loose and hang over the door)''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Oh, my God! She just broke the ceiling!
:''[the Red team laughs]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[The chefs have just gathered outside for the next challenge, when suddenly, Gina speaks up]''
:'''Gina''': Excuse me, chef? I have something to say.
:'''Gordon''': Please, Gina.
:'''Gina''': Unfortunately, I am not going to be staying here for this challenge. I'm going to be leaving.
:'''Gordon''': You happy to throw the towel in so quickly?
:'''Gina''':  I have some personal issues; unfortunately, I have to.
:'''Gordon''': I'm not going to stop you. Please go back up to the dorms, pack your stuff, and leave Hell's Kitchen.
:'''Gina''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Red Team''': Bye, Gina.
:'''Nedra''': Man, right on the team challenge, this stupid bitch backs out. Bitch, you going to back out doing of a competition? If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. That bitch folded like a piece of wet paper towel.
''[Gina departs through the delivery service door with luggage in tow]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon returns a risotto to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': What is that? Fucking muppets! All of you. All of you. All of you!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Taste that! Hurry up, Jessica! Haven't you got time to piss around! I mean--.
:'''Jessica''': Yes, chef. Coming through.
:'''Gordon''': What's the first thing you taste?
:'''Cyndi''': White wine chef. (interview) Come on, Mary. Get it together. That's basic shit.
:'''Gordon''': (to Mary) How much wine did you put in?
:'''Mary''': I put in just a few squirts chef.
:'''Gordon''': So you'll have to reduce it down!
:'''Mary''': Yes, chef. Yes, chef. (interview) Ugh.
:'''Gordon''': Get a pan on, start the risotto. Come on!
:'''Ja'Nel''': Yes, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks and tastes a risotto; finds that it has too much white wine again]''
:'''Gordon''': Too much white wine in there again. All of you.
:'''Mary''': Oh, my God.
:'''Gordon''': Taste that. Hurry up. Taste.
:'''Mary''': I think this is good.
:'''Susan''': It needs salt.
:'''Gordon''': How won't I taste the white wine in there again? (to Danielle) Have you got a drinking problem?
:'''Danielle''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': The first thing that you can taste in there is fucking white wine! (knocks his hand on the workstation)
:'''Danielle''': Yes, chef. So you want about a tablespoon?
:'''Gordon''': You have to burn off the alcohol!
:'''Danielle''': Yes, chef. (interview) I'm great on what I do. But this is fucking hard. I mean harder than hard.
:'''Gordon''': Can someone teach these two fucking idiots how to make a fucking risotto?!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Christian]''
:'''Gordon''': Christian!
:'''Christian''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': He brings up scallops, fucking rubber! (knocks his hand on the workstation) I mean, seriously?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) What the hell are you doing? Come on! Pick it up, please!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, you! Come here, you.
:'''Christian''': Ugh.
:'''Gordon''': Touch them. (calls out Jeremy) Hey, you, big boy. Come here, you.
:'''Jeremy''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': You're the one that's supposed to be supporting them.
:'''Jeremy''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': How about supporting your fucking gut? (leads Christian and Jeremy to the Chef's Table) Both of you, sit down! Hey, enjoy your shit!
:'''Jeremy''': (interview) I don't know how I'm in this situation right now.
:'''Gordon''': (to a server) A glass of wine, please. For the two chefs.
:'''Jeremy''': (interview) It was his scallops. I had nothing to do with it.
:'''Gordon''': (to Christian and Jeremy) Enjoy! Fuck you! ''[returns to the workstation; to the Blue team]'' Hey, get a grip! (knocks his hand on the workstation) Scallops, urgently!
:'''Jon''': Heard!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Jon]''
:'''Gordon''': This is a joke. Dry as fuck.
:'''Sous-Chef James''': It's awful.
:'''Gordon''': (returns to the workstation) STOP!
:'''Jon''': What?
:'''Gordon''': All of you! (raises one lamb) Who cooked that?
:'''Jon''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Come here you! All of you, come here! How much more shit does one need to take?! The dining room full of guests waiting for that.
:'''Jon''': (interview) I'm so pissed at myself right now. I just want to punch myself in the dick.
:'''Gordon''': You're making me look like a fucking idiot. (throws his spoon away) '''GET OUT!''' Leave me alone! Leave, get out, get out, get out. (gives the lamb to Christian) There you go. There's your second course. Fuck off! GET OUT!!
:'''Woman''': (overhears Gordon) Wow.
:'''Gordon''': '''GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Susan]''
:'''Sous-Chef Andi''': Oh, that's raw.
:'''Gordon''': That's raw? Oh, fuck me. (calls Nedra in the dining room) Nedra, come here! Hurry up.
:'''Nedra''': (returns to the kitchen) Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': (returns to the workstation) All of you! ALL OF YOU!!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': (raises one lamb) What the fuck is that?
:'''Amanda Giblin''': It's raw, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Who sent me raw lamb on the signature dishes? Who as that?
:'''Susan''': Me, chef.
:'''Gordon''': It's a joke for you, isn't it?
:'''Susan''': Not a joke at all, chef.
:'''Godrdon''': So what's that, then?
:'''Susan''': It's raw lamb.
:'''Gordon''': (throws the lamb away) All of you, get out!
:'''Jacqueline''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Get out! '''I'M DONE!''' Get out!
:'''Mary''': (interview) This sucks!
:'''Gordon''': Leave it!
:'''Mary''': (interview) Like we're all talented . We're all good at what we do...
:'''Gordon''': Leave it!
:'''Mary''': (interview) It shouldn't be that hard.
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!!

=== Episode Four [11.4] ===

:'''Gordon''': Blue Team first ticket away, here we go. Four covers, table 22. ''[slowly]'' Appetiser: one salad tableside, two risotto, one Caesar salad. 
:'''Blue Team''': Yes, Chef!
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Michael]'' Michael, how was that for you?
:'''Michael''': Fine, Chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Ray]'' Raymond, how was that for you?
:'''Raymond''': Perfect, Chef.
:'''Gordon''': Slow enough? 
:'''Raymond''': Yes, Chef.
''[Shows a flashback of Michael suggesting to have Gordon read the tickets slower to help them]''
:'''Gordon''': I mean, fucking hell!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with risotto]''
:'''Jean-Philippe''': VIP table, NBA player. The risotto is too hard.
:'''Gordon''': ''[returns and slams the risotto on the workstation]'' Risotto, a VIP table. Rice is fucking undercooked. ''[Ray places a pan underneath the workstation]'' Hey, he's a bit-- (to Ray) Hey, come here you. Give me that pan. ''[shows an overcooked risotto to the Blue team]''
:'''Ray''': That one--
:'''Gordon''': What are you doing? Wha-wha-wha-- Just what in the fuck are you doing?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Things are rolling, risotto goes out, awesome. Perfect good, good start.
:'''Gordon''': ''[slams the pan on the workstation]'' That's burned and that's hard! ''[gets and slams the plate on the pan]''
:'''Ray''': I'll put another one in chef.
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Risotto comes back, awesome. Perfect, ''[deflated tone]'' this is what we do.
:'''Gordon''': ''(knocks his hand on the workstation; to Ray)'' You, grand-dad! Come on! this is a pick up now!
:'''Ray''': Ten seconds, chef. Right here, chef.
:'''Zach''': (interview) Chef Ray, watch your motherfucking self and you'd better not make any more mistakes under the fucking sun. You hear me?
:'''Gordon''': '''KEEP THE FUCKING PAN DOWN!'''
:'''Ray''': Yes, chef. I understand, chef.
:'''Gordon''': '''MOVE, RAY!'''
:'''Ray''': Sorry.
:'''Dan''': (interview) Ray, get your head out of your ass and get this risotto out. We're waiting on you. Waiting on Ray!
:''[Ray brings his risotto to the pass, Gordon checks it]''
:'''Gordon''': Stop! Risotto tastes delicious! (to Ray) Now you've raised the bar.
:'''Ray''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Hey, don't piss your pants! Just stay focused!
:'''Ray''': I won't, chef. Yes, chef.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Jessica]''
:'''Gordon''': One risotto, why is she cooking all that? (returns to the workstation) Oy, all of you! How many portions are in there?
:'''Susan''': Three. There's three chef.
:'''Gordon''': Four? Five? (to Jessica) How many is going?
:'''Jessica Lewis''': Two chef.
:'''Gordon''': One! Is this a joke for you?
:'''Jessica Lewis''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': All that time we're waiting!
:'''Jessica Lewis''': Sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Five portions of fucking risotto, I need one!
:'''Jessica Lewis''': Let's go, bounce back.
:'''Gordon''': (disgusted) Yeah.
:'''Susan''': (to her team mates) Come on, guys. Let's pick it up. Let's get going.
:'''Gordon''': Throw five, serve one!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon asks for lamb in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Lamb?
:'''Dan''': ''(slices his lamb; finds that it's rare)'' Dude, this is under. I can't send this.
:'''Gordon''': Lamb?
:'''Jon''': Walk with the lamb, please.
:'''Dan''': Lamb is not done yet chef.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck off! Christ almighty!
:'''Dan''': It's still rare in the middle. The middle is rare, the outside are good.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck me.
:'''Michael Langdon''': We have to fire an all new garnish.
:'''Dan''': (interview, mocking Michael) Waaaaah! The lamb's not cooked! Waaaaah!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Brand new garnish.
:'''Dan''': (interview) Michael, just sit there and wait! I got it!
:'''Gordon''': Where is this fucking lamb?!
:'''Dan''': Right here chef.
:'''Gordon''': There's the fucking plates! Two minutes been sat there dressed!
:'''Jon''': Lamb is being cut. It's on its way.
:'''Dan''': Walking lamb. Behind. ''(brings his lamb to the pass)''
:'''Gordon''': It's there! Hey Bozo That's how open the fucking gap for you!
:'''Dan''': Yes, chef. Two lamb chef.
:''[Gordon checks Dan's lamb; returns to the workstation]''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Yelling over, problem solved. Right? 
:'''Gordon''': ''[points to Dan]'' '''YOU! HEY, STRING-BEAN! COME HERE!'''
:'''Dan''': Yes, chef!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Wrong.
:'''Gordon''': ''(raises a chewed up piece of lamb)'' What the fuck is that?!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Get lamb going now.
:'''Gordon''': What is that?! ''[Dan doesn't answer]'' Wha... '''WHAT IS THAT?!'''
:'''Dan''': Shit, chef.
:'''Gordon''': This needs one more minute in the oven, and that bit there should be a fucking dog's chew!
:'''Dan''': Yes, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Jacqueline brings her chicken to the pass]''
:'''Jacqueline''': Where would you like it, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Put it there.
:'''Jacqueline''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks her chicken; finds that it's raw]'' Pink fucking chicken. ''(returns to the workstation)'' Ladies!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Pink chicken!
:'''Jacqueline''': Fuck!
:'''Mary''': (Interview) Raw chicken, like seriously?
:'''Gordon''': Pink chicken. Undercooked, and pink.
:'''Jacqueline''': Sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[throws his spoon on the workstation as everyone stands around unresponsive]'' WAKE UP! Come on, Jacqueline!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Bounce back guys, leave it in the water longer.
:'''Gordon''': Jacqueline!
:'''Jacqueline''': Get me a pan.
:'''Gordon''': '''JACQUELINE!'''
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': There are some things you can't do in a kitchen...
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': ...and that's serving raw chicken!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': '''JESUS CHRIST!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon asks for lamb again in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Lamb? Where is the lamb?!
:'''Dan''': I'll just bring it up, chef. A minute left, chef.
:'''Michael Langdon''': Come on, I'm going to lose those garnish.
:'''Gordon''': A minute away. Garnish is done.
:'''Michael Langdon''': (interview) I'm doing fucking 50,000 things right now, and Dan is failing at the one fucking task that he has. I need a lamb.
:'''Dan''': (slices his lamb) Zach?
:'''Zach''': How the fuck?
:'''Dan''': (interview) Okay, the lamb wasn't cooking fast enough. What the fuck do you want me to do about it other than to put it in the damn oven. ''[puts his lamb in the oven]''
:'''Michael Langdon''': (to Dan) Dan, real time. How long?
:'''Dan''': (to Zach) How long?
:'''Michael Langdon''': '''YOU JUST LOOK AT THE FUCKING LAMB!''' HOW LONG?! ''[goes to the oven]'' OH, JESUS! FUCK! (interview) Then he asks Zach how long? Are you kidding me? How does that go? (to Dan) Get the fuck out of here! Get out! (interview) Really, if he lays one fucking finger on me, I'm going to beat him all over the fucking room! I don't care if I walk off and go to jail tonight!
:'''Ray''': (to Dan) Hey, don't stand there!
:'''Anthony''': (to Dan and Michael) Hey, come on! Split it up! ''[Michael bumps Dan out of his way]''
:'''Dan''': (to Michael) Don't fucking bump me again!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
:'''Dan''': (interview) Don't bump me! You ain't shit! You want to fucking fight?! Come get it!
:'''Gordon''': (to Michael) Hey, hey, hey you! (to Dan) Hey you, HEY FUCK-WIT! Come here you! Come here! ''[leads Dan and Michael to the pantry]''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Wooo-hoo! Someone's getting it down.
:'''Gordon''': ''[angrily slams the door]'' WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?!
:'''Michael Langdon''': (to Dan) You got to talk to me, bro. That's it.
:'''Dan''': Alright.
:'''Michael Langdon''': You got to fucking talk to me!
:'''Dan''': Stop yelling at me.
:'''Michael Langdon''': No, fuck you! Talk to me or get the fuck out and go home!
:'''Gordon''': (to Dan) You're throwing him under the bus all the fucking time!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Don't be sorry, dude!
:'''Dan''': I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Don't be sorry!
:'''Gordon''': Look at him and talk at each other!
:'''Dan''': I'll fix it! I'm sorry!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Let's do it! Come on!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Danielle]''
:'''Gordon''': Now it's overcooked.
:'''Sous-Chef Andi''': They're overcooked.
:'''Gordon''': (returns to the workstation) All of you, HEY!
:'''Mary''': (under her breath) Oh, my God.
:'''Gordon''': The Red team that loves taking the piss because they've flown off a private jet, they've been on a fucking mega super yacht, and they think they're King Dick because they've kissed Céline Dion's arse in fucking Vegas! Come here, you! Touch that.
:'''Amanda Giblin''': It's overcooked, chef.
:'''Susan''': Yes, chef. Overcooked.
:'''Gordon''': Just so--- ''[sees Danielle walking away]'' Oh, she disappears, look. Hey.
:'''Danielle Boorn''': I'm giving you another one chef. I understand that's overcooked. ''[brings another wellington to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': Look at that there. Touch that there.
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Yes, chef. Sorry, chef. Here's another one.
:'''Gordon''': And even before touching that one, what do you think that one's going to come out at?
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Medium, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Touch that one.
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Overcooked, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Overcooked. Overcooked. ''[slams the tray on the workstation]''
:'''Danielle Boorn''': (under her breath) Fuck!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': (interview) Danielle, girl. Get your shit together, man!
:'''Gordon''': Third time lucky, bingo?!
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Perfect, chef. Perfect, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Oh! &quot;Perfect, chef!&quot; (sarcastically)
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Sorry, chef. ''[brings another wellington to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': So the first two were what?!
:'''Danielle Boorn''': My fuck-up, chef. Sorry, chef.
:''[Gordon checks her wellingtons; then finally brings them to the pass]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[The Red Team lost the night's service; they have nominated Jessica and Danielle for elimination]''
:'''Gordon''': Okay, Danielle, Jessica step forward please. You know what? There's one more chef I'd like to hear from.
:'''Narrator''': With their dinner service loss, the Red team was forced to nominate two chefs for elimination. They put up Danielle and Jessica, but Chef Ramsay has his eye on a third.
:'''Gordon''': Because she could've killed someone tonight: (points to Jacqueline) Jacqueline! Get your arse up here. I mean honestly? Miss Pink Chicken? Unacceptable!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Ladies, you are not the same outfit that opened this competition, let me tell you. ''(members of the Blue team that won the night's service exchange smiles and grins amongst each other)'' If you think what you've been through is challenging so far... I... I'm going to turn up the heat. Because I need to start separating the chefs, from the cooks. Got it?
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Piss off!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Every dinner service, Danielle looked like a deer in the headlights, and that's why she ended up as dead meat.

=== Episode Five [11.5] ===

''[Gordon notices Nedra using soggy muffins for the eggs benedict]''
:'''Gordon''': Hey, hello!
:'''Nedra''': I've cut them right now, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''(gets Nedra's plate of eggs benedict)'' Stop Nedra, stop. ''[brings the eggs benedict to the workstation]'' Stop! LADIES! ''(gets a piece of muffin)'' Look, soggy. (to Nedra) Why are using the soggy ones when you've got toasted behind you?
:'''Nedra''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': No, not &quot;Yes, chef!&quot; Why are you using the soggy ones?!
:'''Nedra''': I didn't know the were soggy, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Visually you don't know that's not toasted?
:'''Nedra''': I didn't see it when they went down chef. But I have another one coming. ''[Gordon throws the muffin away on the plate]''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Let's go, guys. Let's bounce back.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on salmon with scrambled eggs on the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': (calls the Blue team) All of you, come here! Taste that. I want you to taste that scrambled egg! Taste it!
:'''Zach''': Some seasoning, guys! Little salt and pepper!
:'''Gordon''': Who made that?
:'''Ray''': I did, chef. I put salt and pepper in chef.
:'''Gordon''': You-- ''[throws his spoon away on the workstation]'' I mean, '''SERIOUSLY?! THEY'RE PARAMEDICS!'''
:'''Ray''': I got them, chef.
:'''Gordon''': I think you need a doctor right now! ''[knocks his hand on the workstation]''
:'''Ray''': Two more salmon coming right up.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
''[Gordon returns some salmon with scrambled eggs to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you, come here! ALL OF YOU!
:'''Blue team''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Some disgusting pig brought me the sample scrambled eggs. The sample scrambled eggs that I cooked an hour ago. ''[flashback to where Sous-chef Andi telling both teams to study the sample plates]'' These guests, they save lives on a daily basis and you want to serve that? JEREMY, DAN! '''YOU'LL FUCKING KILL SOMEONE WITH THAT!!''' ''(tosses the plate on the workstation)''
:'''Narrator''': It's early morning and Hell's Kitchen has opened its doors to serve breakfast to a group of much-deserving doctors, nurses and ENTs.
:'''Jon''': (to Jeremy) You pick that motherfucker up.
:'''Gordon''': Take that garnish back.
:'''Anthony''': Work it again! Let's go!
:'''Gordon''': Fuck off, guys.

=== Episode Six [11.6] ===

:''[Barret brings tickets to the pass]''
:'''Gordon''': Hey, Blue team!
:'''Zach''': (to the Blue team) Chef, pay attention!
:'''Gordon''': On order, four covers Table 23! ''(finds that the ticket was badly written)'' I mean, fuck me. (shows the ticket to the Blue team) Hey, look at the way he wrote that ticket. Look at how badly that's written out! Barret!
:'''Barret''': What happened?
:'''Gordon''': Rewrite the ti-- Where's Jean-Philippe? Jean-Philippe, what is that?
:'''Jean-Philippe''': Come on.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck off! ''(tears up the ticket)'' Hey JP, take him (Barret) and yourself back to fucking Belgium! Fuck right off! Fuck off!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks a risotto at the pass]''
:'''Gordon''': It's undercooked, the rice. Wow, fuck me. ''(returns to the workstation)'' Hey, the rice is undercooked! The rice is undercooked!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': That's not ready yet, guys.
:'''Gordon''': Start again!
:'''Susan''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Come on! ''(to Jessica at the pass)'' What are you waiting on?
:'''Jessica''': [Table] 34, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, fuck-- come in here. Come in here! ''[Jessica enters the Red kitchen]'' How long have you been waiting?
:'''Jessica''': 20-30 minutes chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, you've been actually waiting 32 minutes. Tell your fucking team!
:'''Jessica''': (to the Red team) Let's go, guys! Table 34!
:'''Gordon''': Why are you laughing?
:'''Jessica''': I'm not. I'm sorry, chef. ''[Gordon throws his spoon away on the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': (to the Red team) Hey, all of you stop! Come here, fucking all of you! (to Jessica) You think this is a joke.
:'''Jessica''': No, chef. I don't.
:'''Gordon''': (to the Red team) We're dying for Table 34's fucking appetizers (to Jessica) and you're coming in to laugh at (points to Susan) her. What's funny?
:'''Jessica''': Nothing, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Do you want to go?
:'''Jessica''': No, chef. I don't.
:'''Gordon''': Can you tell your team to hurry up?
:'''Jessica''': (to the Red team) Let's go, team!
:'''Susan''': I'm ready!
:'''Gordon''': (to Jessica) Hey, it's sounds so funny, isn't it?
:'''Jessica''': No, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon asks for halibut in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Where is the fucking halibut?!
:'''Ray''': Coming up chef.
:'''Zach''': Come on, guys! Push it!
:'''Anthony''': (to Ray) Let's go, come on. Get those up.
:'''Narrator''': Ray hurries to deliver his third attempt at the same order of fish.
:'''Gordon''': WHERE IS IT?!
:'''Ray''': (to Dan) Bring that up.
:'''Dan''': Got it right here, chef. ''[brings Ray's halibut to the pass]''
:'''Zach''': Come on, come on. Go with that, good job.
:'''Anthony''': Please be cooked. For the love of God, be cooked.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks Ray's halibut]'' Wellington's beautifully cooked, pork's beautifully cooked.
:'''Anthony''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon''': But I have a problem. ''[returns to the workstation]'' I have a big fucking problem. '''YES, I DO!!''' ''[angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]'' '''MAN!!!'''
:'''Ray''': Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': '''THIS IS RAW!!!'''
:'''Zach''': Oh, my God!
:'''Anthony''': Oh, fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': '''THIS IS RAW!!!'''
:'''Zach''': (interview) Not again! Dammit! This can't be happening! (to Ray) Come on, Ray!
:'''Gordon''': '''IT'S JUST RAW!!!''' ''[angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]''
:'''Michael''': (to Ray) Get three more going. Get three more going. Put them in the oven.
:'''Gordon''': '''IT'S FUCKED!!!'''
:'''Zach''': (interview) We're going down in flames! ''Titanic'' ain't got shit on us!
:'''Gordon''': '''I'M DONE!!!''' ''(points to every member of the Blue team)'' You, you, you, you, you, you, '''GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!'''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) I was doing good, dammit.
(The blue team head to the dorm)
:'''Ray''': Did I not say that we're done? I will let you fucking know when you fucking keep leaving in it. (interview) Dan, just leave it alone. I had it fucking perfect.
:'''James''': (Storms into the blue team's dorm with raw halibut) Hey, where are you guys?! 
:'''Jon''': Right here, Chef!
:'''James''': I spent 18 hours with you guys today, I give you everything I got, and that's the bullshit you're going to give me in front of Chef Ramsay?! Make me look like a dickhead in a dining room full of people! I'm beside myself right now with that! I can't look at you guys anymore!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks and slices a pork brought up by Mary]''
:'''Gordon''': That's raw. ''(returns to the workstation and throws his spoon away; shows the raw pork to the Red team)''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Oh, my fucking God!
:'''Gordon''': COME HERE, ALL OF YOU!
:'''Mary''': God.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, kept me waiting 28 minutes for raw pork. ''(points to every member of the Red team)'' You, you, you, you, you, you, you, ''(slams the tray on the workstation)'' '''GET OUT!! DISASTER!! GET OUT!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon has called both teams downstairs after kicking them out of service]''
:'''Gordon''': Stay there! Stay there! We're not done yet! Sous chefs and I are still cooking in there. There's no winning team, you both lost! Think of two individuals from each team that you want rid of! Fuck off upstairs! ''(returns to the kitchen)'' Unbelievable!

=== Episode Seven [11.7] ===

''[Episode picks up where the last episode left off at an elimination where four chiefs have given Chef Ramsay their jackets, but haven't been sent out the door as Ramsay has about to do something he's never done before]''
:'''Gordon''': All four of you are now on probation! Go, back in line!
:'''Ray''': Thank you Chef.
:'''Mary''': Thank you Chef.
:'''Gordon''': Don't thank me yet, and here's why: Each and every one of you, will have to earn your jacket back by the end of the next dinner service, and if you don't: (Gordon makes a swipe motion with his hand past his neck) you're history! ''Piss off!''
(Both the red and blue teams leave to head back to the dorms, as Chef Ramsay looks on, shaking his head)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[After the Blue team finally won a challenge]''
:'''Dan''': (Interview) About time! And the best part is: Look what I got! (Holds up his chef jacket up as he is now off probation, and heckles)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Barret]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you, come here.
:'''Barret''': (interview) Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': ''(points to a table of senior women)'' See those six glamourous ladies, slightly older? Yeah. And look.
:'''Barret''': Oh.
:'''Dan''': Oh, my God!
:'''Gordon''': ''(gets a parchment paper from a halibut)'' The paper.
:'''Jon''': (to Barret) You left the parchment on there, man?
:'''Zach''': (interview) What, you trying to kill people? By the time you swallow it, it's too late. You're on the floor with Jean-Philippe doing CPR on you. ''[scoffs]'' Who the fuck want that?
:'''Gordon''': (quietly to Barret) Hey, come here you. It's not a fucking joke. You should be ashamed.
:'''Barret''': I am. I am ashamed. (interview) Tonight of all nights, I'm just praying that we didn't lose the dinner service.
:'''Gordon''': Paper to a senior! ''[crosses to the Red kitchen out of disgust]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': While Barret starts over on the fish, in the Red kitchen, the women are very excited.
:'''Susan''': Our last ticket!
:'''Narrator''': To be closing in on the finish line.
:'''Susan''': We got this!
:'''Gordon''': Hey!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Shut the fuck up! High-fiving each other, last ticket, it's the same fucking ticket!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': When Jessica first arrived, I had high expectations for her. Unfortunately, she let us both down.

=== Episode Eight [11.8] ===

''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Jacqueline]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, Jesus. They're rubber. Scallops are overcooked! Rubber, look at that one. Just touch that one there. Just touch it there! Come on, get me some more in there!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': You've got the easiest appetiser!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef. (interview) Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, fuck you!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Okay? ''(returns a tray of appetizers to the workstation)'' Hey, fuck you all! Cold pizza, cold fish and chips, refire urgently!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on pizza brought up by Dan]''
:'''Gordon''': That's burned. (returns to the workstation) Fuck you all! ''[knocks the workstation]'' Damn! Come here, all of you! Come on! Hey look, there's no garnish around there and that's the biggest bit. Look at that there.
:'''Dan''': Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': (raises the pizza and drops it) For kids, and kids, fucking kids!
:'''Jon''': (interview) Dan is like a monkey wrench in a machine. You're killing me, man!
:'''Gordon''': Start again and get it together!
:'''Blue team''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on cheeseburger brought up by Ray]''
:'''Gordon''': Stone-cold. Hey, all of you. (points to Ray) You first, fuck-wit! Come here!
:'''Ray''': Oh, fuck! (interview) No, this can't be happening.
:'''Gordon''': Just touch that. Just touch the burger.
:'''Ray''': Oh, it's fucked, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[angrily throws the burger on the workstation]'' Whose table is that?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) A cold cheeseburger. How the hell does something like that happen?!
:'''Gordon''': That's my family.
:'''Dan''': (interview) He just brought a perfect storm our way. Thanks, dude.
:'''Gordon''': At this stage of the game, I don't expect the &quot;I'm sorry!&quot; '''IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!''' ''[knocks his hand on the workstation]'' '''IT'S FUCKED!!'''
:'''Ray''': I have another one chef.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Get it together, man. A cold burger?
:'''Gordon''': (to Ray) Hey, you have the audacity to send that to my son! I wouldn't do that to your family!
:'''Ray''': Totally my fault, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on chicken brought up by Barret]''
:'''Gordon''': I've got raw chicken here.
:'''James Avery''': And it's for my wife.
:'''Gordon''': ''[returns the chicken to the workstation]'' '''HEY!''' For Chef James's wife, pink chicken.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Raw fish, people can survive it. Under-cooked meat, cook it more it's like not going to kill you, but fucking raw chicken will fucking kill you.
:'''Gordon''': Chef James's wife is pregnant.
:'''Mary''': Oh, my gosh.
:'''Barret''': (interview) I can't even look at Chef James in the eyes. He's like a freaking triple black belt in Taekwondo. This dude will probably fuck me up right now.
:'''Gordon''': My family and James's family. Red Team, take over! Let's go! Move!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!

=== Episode Nine [11.9] ===

''[Gordon notices the Red team not cooking any entrées]''
:'''Gordon''': Hey, pedicure, manicure! How long?
:'''Jacqueline''': I am waiting for Susan!
:'''Gordon''': No, you fucked you! She's (Susan) slicing the prime rib! And you just stopped the whole fucking kitchen. ''(calls the Red team to the pass)'' All of you! ''(calls Susan in the dining room)'' SUSAN!
:'''Susan''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': '''COME HERE, YOU!'''
:'''Susan''': (interview) I know everyone keeps saying, &quot;Jacqueline is an amazing chef, she's so strong.&quot; (to Gordon) Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': You just stopped sending entrées, (to Susan) did you tell her (Jacqueline) to stop?
:'''Susan''': No.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, really?!
:'''Susan''': (interview) But if you can't perform with the lights turned on, then it's worthless.
:'''Gordon''': We are now stopped being serving meat that we're dying for. (to Jacqueline) Have you heard of anything so fucking stupid?!
:'''Jacqueline''': No.
:'''Gordon''': The less you give me your best, go home! OVER!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Get it together. Have a little meeting.
:'''Susan''': I know what table is next. If I need to rush, I could rush.
:'''Jacqueline''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': '''HURRY UP!!'''
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Susan''': Let's go, guys.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks and slices a New York strip brought up by Ray]''
:'''Gordon''': They're fucking raw. Fuck off. (to the Blue team) Hey, raw New York!
:'''Ray''': Oh, fuck me. (interview) Oh, my God. He just can't catch a break.
:'''Gordon''': (to Ray) Come here, you. Just fucking come here! Who cooked it?
:'''Ray''': I---.
:'''Gordon''': '''ANSWER!!!'''
:'''Ray''': I did, chef. I cooked it. I'll take it. I did, chef.
:'''Gordon''': This is where it goes so fucking badly! It's not even red in there!
:'''Ray''': I understand, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Two of you on the section! ''[knocks his hand on the workstation]'' Do you have any fight left?!
:'''Anthony''': Michael, make another one!
:'''Michael Langdon''': I'm going to cook. I'm going to cook.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Ray, Michael. Pull your heads out of your asses and cook the fucking meat!
:'''Ray''': Here, I got the fucking New York strip, okay?
:'''Michael Langdon''': I got it on.
:'''Ray''': Don't rush the steaks.
:'''Michael Langdon''': (interview) Ray, please stop talking. Let me fucking cook the meat. I got it.
:'''Gordon''': How long for that New York strip?
:'''Michael Langdon''': Three and a half, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck! Take the table back. Oh, fuck me. ''(gives the tray of entrées to Ray)'' Ray, hey. Fuck off. Take that. Take it. A fucking joke!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on filet mignon brought up by Amanda]''
:'''Gordon''': Raw, raw, fucking raw. ''[returns to the workstation]'' Oh, fucking hell!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Fuck my life!
:'''Gordon''': Raw filet! The easiest to cook, the most glamourous, the most in demand, cold and raw!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': (interview) Jacqueline says it's good, I trusted her, and they're raw.
:'''Gordon''': Raw in the middle! Hey, Amanda! It's not sushi night, it's steak night!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on filet mignon brought up by Jacqueline]''
:'''Gordon''': It's raw now. Now they're taking the piss. ''(returns to the workstation and repeatedly knocks it)'' What is it for the second fucking time?!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': It's fucking raw, chef.
:'''Gordon''': That's right! It's fucking raw!! ''(throws a filet on the workstation)''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': I have two more in the oven.
:'''Gordon''': ''(points to Amanda, Jacqueline, Nedra and Cyndi)'' You, you, you, you! '''FUCK OFF, ALL FOUR OF YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT!!'''

=== Episode Ten [11.10] ===
:''[Gordon checks the tuna is about to be served for the Quinceañera celebrant; found out it was cold]''
:'''Gordon''': You are kidding me, ice cold! HEY! ALL OF YOU COME HERE, HURRY UP! ''[returns the tuna at the workstation; then knocks twice on the counter]'' JUST TOUCH THAT! TOUCH THAT YOUR FINGERS.
:'''Ja'Nel''': Stone-cold.
:'''Gordon''': '''IT'S SAYING ICE COLD!'''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Something is so easy! WHO SEARED IT?
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Nedra seared it. (cuts off to Nedra when she blinks her eyes)
:'''Nedra''': I-- (interview) Fuck you, Amanda! You skate on thin ice! It's not the one I seared.
:'''Gordon''': ''[drops the tuna onto the workstation]'' Fucking hell! (throws a spoon away) I STOOD AWAY TO GO! A PIECE OF FISH THAT BIG THAT CAN'T BE SEARED! SHIT! (knocks over the workstation twice)
:'''Nedra''': Chef, I need take four--
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Nedra seared it, chef. I got it.
:'''Gordon''': (rekindles Amanda) &quot;Nedra seared it, I got it.&quot; (throws a spoon with a disappointment)
:'''Amanda Giblin''': (interview) Back off the station, I have it!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Chef, it was a poor mistake I'm trying to fix right now.
:'''Nedra''': Fucking bitch!

=== Episode Eleven [11.11] ===

=== Episode Twelve [11.12] ===

:'''Gordon:''' We're firing apps brilliantly, and now we're gonna start firing entrées.
:'''Anthony:''' Heard that, Chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay? First table away. Don't fall behind!
:'''Anthony:''' Absolutely.
:'''Blue team:''' Yes, Chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Red team, away now: one New York strip, one branzino. They go with the Blue team at the exact same time, yes?
:'''Red team:''' Yes, Chef!
:'''Gordon:''' Zach, one pork, one filet.
:'''Zach:''' I'm ready now, one minute!
:'''Gordon:''' Hey, come here, you fuckface. This is where he doesn't understand jack shit. &quot;I'm ready now, one minute.&quot; And yet the Red team need a bit of fucking time. ''[points to the Red Team]'' I wouldn't let them do that to you, so why are you doing that to them?
:'''Zach:''' Um, Chef, three minutes?
:'''Gordon:''' What'd you think? We started off with what? ''[holds his hand up]''
:'''Zach:''' Five.
:'''Gordon:''' Thank you.
:'''Zach:''' (interview) Unbelievable. Let me just keep my mouth shut. Yes, Chef!
:'''Gordon:''' Is that clear now?
:'''Zach:''' Yes, that's very clear!
:'''Gordon:''' I appreciate that!
:'''Zach:''' Thank you, Chef.
:'''Gordon:''' That's why I called you &quot;fuckface!&quot;
:'''Zach:''' Not a problem, Chef!
:'''Gordon:''' Because you're fucking them (the Red team) and you're fucking me!
:'''Zach:''' I don't wanna fuck anybody!
:'''Gordon:''' Thank you!
:'''Zach:''' Thank you! (interview) Did I just have a conversation with Chef Ramsay about fucking? ''[cuts to Zach in the kitchen, grinning]'' Yes, I did.

=== Episode Thirteen [11.13] ===

''[Continuing from the last episode, the red team drew a name out of a hat for which member to move to the blue team instead of deliberating.]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you, head back to the red fucking kitchen and spend two minutes and decide amongst you! Hurry up! I didn't ask you to stick it in a fucking hat like some fucking game show! What is this?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Ja'Nel]''
:'''Gordon''': They're overcooked. No, no, no, no, no.
:'''Andi''': Oh, shit.
:'''Susan''': Yeah, we're moving. We got this.
:'''Gordon''': We're not fucking moving and yet you haven't got anything. What is that shit?
:'''Ja'Nel''': I'll do it again, chef. I'm sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Look at them. Just touch them. That is disgusting!
:'''Ja'Nel''': (interview) This is my worst nightmare. Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': I cannot believe you done that! What is happening in here?! (points to Susan) She's cooking four risottos, we need two (points to Ja'Nel) and you're bastardising scallops! I'll reduce the menu, I'll pull down the appetisers, pull down the entrées for you to shine!
:'''Susan''': (interview) Ja'Nel is dronwning at this point. You are dragging the team down.
:'''Gordon''': WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!
:'''Mary''': (interview) I just want to slap her. Ja'Nel, wake up! Come on! You're so much better than this!
:'''Gordon''': Get a grip!
:'''Ja'Nel''': Yes, chef.
:'''Susan''': (to Ja'Nel) Go get it, chef. You'll get better, chef.
:'''Ja'Nel''': Give me two minutes on those scallops.
:'''Susan''': We got this. We're good.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;We got this&quot;? Fucking hell. She (Ja'Nel) can't even cook a scallop.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Nedra!
:'''Nedra''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Why can't you do the cold? (to Zach) Why did she drop ''[the pasta]'' that?
:'''Zach''': She said she don't need any help.
:'''Gordon''': My worry is the slowness.
:'''Nedra''': (interview) Chef, just watch how to let me fucking do this, I don't need no help!
:'''Gordon''': If I was in the Blue team, I'd have her off the fucking appetisers, I'll put her on the garnish, and someone with a pair of balls could step up and take over that fucking mess! (to the Blue team; goes to Nedra's station) All of you, come here! Just look! Just look at the fucking mess in here! The shit, the disarray, the disorganisation and look, ''[gets a basket of pasta on Nedra's station]'' look, look. '''LOOK AT THE MESS!!'''
:'''Nedra''': YES, CHEF! I'M GOING TO GET IT TOGETHER!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Jon]''
:'''Gordon''': This is a joke. They're not seared! (returns to the workstation) All of you, come here! Quick!
:'''Jon''': Are you serious?
:'''Gordon''': Like mush. Mush, mush, MUSH! (knocks his hand on the workstation) It's just a fucking joke!
:'''Anthony''': Fuck! (interview) God, are you kidding me? We can't even get past hot apps this late of the competition? God, it's humiliating!
:'''Gordon''': Yet again, we're fucking struggling! I'm putting the gas, I'm turning the engine, I'm driving every fucking table! I'M DONE!!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Please, don't let this be happening again.
:'''Gordon''': (points to every member of the Blue team) Listen, listen, listen, listen! Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! GET OUT! GET OUT! Idiots!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Ja'Nel; finds that it's raw]''
:'''Mary''': There's going to be--.
:'''Gordon''': (interrupting Mary) No, it's not four minutes, come here! It's sushi time! Just touch that. I don't know what you're doing now. Do you know who this is for?
:'''Cyndi''': The VIP, chef.
:'''Ja'Nel''': (Interview) The one VIP in the house and I'm fucking ruining it. (to Gordon) Sorry, chef. (Interview) I hope this is a bad dream. I mean someone pinch me, slap me, shake me out of this hell hole that I'm in right now.
:'''Gordon''': I'm done! (points to every member of the Red team) YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU! '''FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE!!'''
:'''Cyndi''': Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': '''GET OUT!''' (to Cyndi) Hey! Excuse me, madam!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Fuck me&quot;?! How about &quot;FUCK YOU&quot;?!
:'''Cyndi''': (interview) How are we making these stupid mistakes?
:'''Gordon''': I'm done! '''FUCK OFF! OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Nedra wore a red jacket and a blue jacket, but after tonight's performance, I knew that she wouldn't be wearing a black jacket.

=== Episode Fourteen [11.14] ===

=== Episode Fifteen [11.15] ===

:''[8:33PM]''
:'''Narrator''': It's two and a half hours into dinner service and all of the red diners have been fed. But thanks to Zach's careless performance...
:'''Gordon''': Is that lamb-- (sees that it's overcooked) Oh, please! Does that not look like it's overcooked? Hey, you! Hey, fuck-face!
:'''Narrator''': ...the men are struggling with the two remaining tickets and all eyes are on Zach's lamb.
:'''Gordon''': Looks like elephant shit from here!
:'''Zach''': I understand, chef. I'm just waiting for the fish.
:'''Gordon''': You fucking give me one more excuse, I swear to God, take your jacket and fuck off out of here!
:'''Zach''': I'm sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Stop making excuses!
:'''Zach''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Two lamb, one wellington, one bass. How long? (Zach doesn't answer; goes over to Zach's station) Put it down, I can do the rest. You can fuck off, Zach.
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Chef Ramsay has just had it. He comes in and says &quot;You know what, Zach? I'm going to work your station now.&quot;
:'''Zach''': Chef, you're going to put it fat side down first?
:'''Gordon''': Now he's asking me stupid questions. &quot;Hey, chef, can I brush my teeth? Hey, chef, uh...can I change my pants?&quot; One mistake and he's so frazzled.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

''[After Anthony has been eliminated]''
:'''Gordon''': Zach, come here! (Zach walks up to Chef Ramsay as the women and Jon look on in awe)(Pause) Do your jacket up! I'm watching you closely, Back in line!

=== Episode Sixteen [11.16] ===

''[Gordon checks on lobster brought up by Cyndi]''
:'''Gordon''': Cyndi? Hey all of you, come here. Come here! Just touch that. Touch that lobster. When it's something so curly like that, what does it mean?
:'''Susan''': Overcooked, chef.
:'''Gordon''': So it fucking ''(throws the lobster hard against the wall)'' bounces off the fucking wall!
:'''Susan''': (interview) Did that just happened?! It is black jackets time, we could not be making these stupid mistakes.
:'''Gordon''': Can I have a poached lobster?!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Pick that [the lobster] up.
:'''Mary''': Yes, chef.
:'''Susan''': Come on, ladies. Pick it up!
:'''Mary''': (to Cyndi) Do you need some help, Cynd?
:'''Gordon''': What's the matter with you?!
:'''Cyndi''': I got it. I'm bouncing back chef. I'm bouncing back right now.
:'''Gordon''': Jesus Christ.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Mary brings Cyndi's lobster to the pass, Gordon checks it]''
:'''Gordon''': Now, it's raw. Just stone-fucking-cold. Hey all of you, come here!
:'''Mary''': Oh, crap!
:'''Gordon''': Now, the lobster is raw!
:'''Mary''': Ugh!
:'''Gordon''': (to Cyndi) Come here you! Just touch that. You know it's wrong, it's stone-cold! First one was rubber, now this is ice-cold!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[leads the Red team to the pantry]'' Come here you. All three of you, come here! (to Sous-chef Andi) Andi, take over! SUSAN!
:'''Susan''': Yes-- I'm coming! I'm coming chef!
:'''Gordon''': Get in here!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Mary''': Come on!
:'''Gordon''': ''[angrily slams the door]'' What's happening?! What's the matter with you?!
:'''Mary''': (interview) I have never been in the pantry with Chef and it's never a good thing when he takes you back there.
:'''Gordon''': You've got to get a standard inside you! You're screwing the Red team!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': I'd rather slow down and increase the standard than sending me shit!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': WAKE UP! All of you!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': There once was a chef named Zach,
:For words he didn't lack.
:But in the kitchen, he was no magician,
:And he won't be coming back.

=== Episode Seventeen [11.17] ===

=== Episode Eighteen [11.18] ===

=== Episode Nineteen [11.19] ===

''[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Ja'Nel]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you. ALL OF YOU! ''[points to Ja'Nel]'' Hey, I mean you.
:'''Ja'Nel''': No, chef. I'm sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, come here you. Taste that.
:'''Mary''': (interview) Ugh! It's disgusting!
:'''Gordon''': Come here. All of you, come here. ''[leads the Final five to the back counter; points to [[w:Antonio Sabàto, Jr.|Antonio Sabàto, Jr.]] at the Chef's Table]'' We have a VIP guest in the fucking kitchen. What is that? IT'S MUSH! ABSOLUTE MUSH!! What is happening?!
:'''Ja'Nel''': (interview) I can't believe it. It's just really embarrassing.
:'''Gordon''': Get a grip now!
:'''Final Five''': Yes, chef!
:'''Ja'Nel''': Sorry, chef.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Here we go. Two covers, Table 21: two mussels, entrée: one halibut, one New York Strip.
:'''Final Five''': Yes, chef!
:'''Susan''': Two minutes on this order: one halibut, one New York!
:'''Jon''': Three minutes, heard.
:'''Gordon''': Who called? What's she yelling about? Susan called out halibut, New York steak and we haven't sent out the appetisers. What's going, Susan?
:'''Susan''': Right now, we have one halibut, and one New York!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, all of you, come here! Stop what you're doing, all of you. She's firing entrées, one halibut, one New York strip. FYI, dumbo, we haven't even sent the appetisers!
:'''Mary''': (interview) What is Susan thinking right now? Like, what are you thinking Susan?
:'''Gordon''': Is the ticket crossed out?
:'''Final Five''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': What are you doing to them?
:'''Susan''': We fired that ticket, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Who's &quot;we&quot;?! I didn't!
:'''Antonio Sabato Jr.''': She's screwed.
:'''Gordon''': All of a sudden, you're the chef, right?
:'''Susan''': No, chef! No!
:'''Gordon''': Step up. Here you go. ''(takes off his apron and gives it to Susan)'' Here you go. You fucking run it then. Here you go. Andi, leave her alone.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Susan can't even give correct times on her own station. She's running the kitchen? (sighs) We're fucked.
:'''Susan''': Sorry.
:'''Gordon''': You run it! Fuck it, there you go, run it! ''(tosses his tongs on the hotplate)'' Fucking good luck. Off you go. This is a fucking joke. Andi, fuck them! Leave them! ''(Gordon and Andi walk out of the kitchen)'' Pathetic!

=== Episode Twenty [11.20] ===

=== Episode Twenty One (Two Hour Finale) [11.21] ===

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia|Hell's Kitchen (U.S. season 11)}}
* {{IMDb title|0437005}}
[[Category:Hell's Kitchen seasons]]</text>
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      <parentid>3149089</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T19:44:32Z</timestamp>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 1|1]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 2|2]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 3|3]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 4|4]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 5|5]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 6|6]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 7|7]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 8|8]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 9|9]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 10|10]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 11|11]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 12|12]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 13|13]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 14|14]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 15|15]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 16|16]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 17|17]] | '''[[Hell's Kitchen|Main]]'''
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)|Hell's Kitchen]]''''' is an American cooking reality show based on [[w:Hell's Kitchen (UK)|the British program of the same title]], where Chef [[w:Gordon Ramsay|Gordon Ramsay]] puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

=== Episode One [11.1] ===

''[Signature dishes before a live audience at Caesar's Palace]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[Looking at Dan's dish]'' Seriously, did you throw up on that plate? Let's go back 45 minutes.
:'''Dan''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': What is it supposed to be?
:'''Dan''': Eggs Benedict with a champagne hollandaise sauce and sourdough bread, heirloom tomatoes and sautéed spinach.
:'''Gordon''': And how did you make the hollandaise?
:'''Dan''': I used whole butter. If it's good enough for Julia Child, it's good enough for me.
:'''Gordon''': Julia Child would be turning in her grave right now if she saw that. (tastes) It's fitting that you made this in Vegas because whoever eats that is sure to get the craps. Let me tell you. That is a joke.

=== Episode Two [11.2] ===

''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Gina]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, Jesus. All of you, come here. Let me show you a little waterfall. ''[tilts the plate]''
:'''Mary''': Oh, my gosh.
:'''Gordon''': Just touch them. Cold, overcooked.
:'''Susan''': Switch up scallops, guys.
:'''Ja'Nel''': Mary, do you want to do scallops?
:'''Gina Aloise''': No, I want to do scallops, somebody else got to do risotto. ''[Nedra gives a shocked face]''
:'''Gordon''': What do you mean?
:'''Nedra''': (interview) Oh, wait. Hell, no! Gina, don't throw me under the bus because your shit ain't right. (to Gina) How long on scallops?
:'''Gina Aloise''': (interview) Nedra, just fuck off.
:'''Ja'Nel''': You've got some good color on there. You'll burn it.
:'''Nedra''': (interview) This bitch couldn't cook a scallop to save her life. I know that Chef is about to find out.
:'''Gina Aloise''': I've got the scallops ready.
:'''Susan''': Go Gina, you got to go.
:'''Gina Aloise''': Walking scallops chef.
:'''Nedra''': (interview) Mmm-hmm. Good luck to you, Gina! ''(brings her risotto to the pass)'' Risotto, right behind you chef, hot.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks Gina's scallops]'' Aah? Hard! All of you, come here! ''[gets a scallop and flips it like a coin; throws it on the workstation]'' I guarantee a complete service tonight. You can't even hold it together for the second ticket. Get out, Gina!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on capellini brought up by Sebastian]''
:'''Gordon''': Taste that. How hot is that?
:'''Sous-Chef James''': Spicy, spicy.
:'''Gordon''': ''(returns to the workstation and spits pasta out)'' All of you, taste that! It's too spicy and it's disgusting! ''[throws his spoon away on the workstation]'' And again, scallops cooked beautifully.
:'''Zach''': (interview) What the fuck is going on? It's like deja vu on this motherfucker.
:'''Gordon''': (to Zach) How many times have you cooked scallops and not serve them?
:'''Zach''': Twice chef.
:'''Sebastian''': Sorry, bro.
:'''Gordon''': Sebastian, get it together!
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, chef!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Come on guys, let's go.
:'''Sebastian''': Okay Mikey-Wikey. (interview) I messed up a few times but I'm getting into the groove. I'm playing around. I'm trying to make the environment a little looser.
:'''Sebastian''': Zachy, talk to me.
:'''Zach''': (to Michael) We've got three halibut, one branzino.
:'''Sebastian''': Zacky-Wacky!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, you! Hey! Come here, you. Zacky-Wacky?
:'''Sebastian''': Chef Zach!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, look at me. Hey, look-- Is this a fucking joke?
:'''Sebastian''': No, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Zacky-Wacky?!
:'''Sebastian''': Sorry, I apologize about that, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, do me a favour: GET OUT!
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Fuck off, will you? Get out!
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Upstairs, GET OUT!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) So Sebastian gets kicked out. Didn't see that coming.
:'''Gordon''': Zacky-Wacky?
:''[Sebastian runs back into the kitchen]''
:'''Dan''': What are you doing?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Where the hell are you going Sebastian? Okay, yeah, you can come back.
:'''Gordon''': Second time! Get out!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) God, are you kidding me?
:'''Gordon''': Fuck off! Wacky!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon asks for lamb in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Lamb! Come on, Michael! Bit of energy!
:'''Michael Langdon''': ''[brings his lamb to the pass]'' Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks the lamb; returns to the workstation]'' Terrible. Embarrassment.
:'''Barret''': Oh, God. (interview) Fuck, it's coming back.
:'''Gordon''': Time out! Stop!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': The bone thicker than the fucking meat.
:'''Dan''': (interview) There needs to be meat on there. This is not a fucking dog's chew-toy, this is lamb!
:'''Gordon''': And if that is not bad enough. ''[Shows the wellington which is cremated]''
:'''Barret''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': They are way overcooked.
:'''Barret''': Horrible. Fuck!
:'''Zach''': (interview) Michael and Barret, dumb and dumber!
:'''Gordon''': You don't slice the wellington until the lamb's ready.
:'''Barret''': Yes, chef.
:''[Sebastian returns to the kitchen once again]'' 
:'''Gordon''': And when it's together like-- (sees Sebastian) Oh, you!
:'''Sebastian''': Chef? Can I please come back, chef?
:'''Jon''': (interview) Dude really, what are you doing? Perfect fucking timing.
:'''Gordon''': You, come here you. You're making me look stupid.
:'''Sebastian''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': The blue team, one hour into service and not one entrée out. You, (Sebastian) for the last time, take him (Barret) and him (Michael) and get out! And let me tell you something, you come back downstairs again, you'll be leaving through the front door. Now GET OUT! Three of you! You (Ray) on meat. You (Anthony) on meat. ''[Barret stands in the doorway]'' Oi! '''GET OUT!!!'''
:'''Barret''': (interview) Now, I'm pissed off. I didn't do anything to get kicked out of this dinner service. ''(angrily throws his apron)''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon returns a garnish with undercooked potatoes brought up by Susan]''
:'''Gordon''': Ladies! Touch them.
:'''Nedra''': Hard, chef.
:'''Susan''': (interview) Oh, my God. That's my garnish.
:'''Gordon''': Who cooked them?
:'''Susan''': I did, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, you, get out! Get out!
:'''Susan''': ''[under her breath]'' You're kidding me.
:'''Gordon''': Hey, madam, you think it's funny?
:'''Susan''': No, no, no!
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, take your shit with you.
:'''Susan''': (interview) I know that this is not funny. I don't deserve to be kicked out of the kitchen. Danielle does. She was the one bringing the station down.
:'''Gordon''': Danielle, don't stop the redo, hurry up! After that, two chicken, two wellington.
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Two chicken, two wellington. Yes, chef. Sorry, chef, I'm confused. Do you need the one for the redo and the two chicken and two wellington or do you just want the two chicken and two wellington?
:''[brief pause]''
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Three halibut, one bass, one chicken. Come on, guys!
:'''Ray, Jeremy and Zach''': Yes, chef.
:''[Jeremy's kale catches fire]''
:'''Zach''': (interview) I'm looking at Jeremy sautéing that kale. I can see the kale nearly catching fire getting burnt!
:'''Zach''': Chef, turn that down.
:'''Jeremy''': Yeah, yeah.
:'''Zach''': Don't even serve that.
:'''Jeremy''': I'm not. Worry about your side, let me do my side! Yeah?
:'''Zach''': (interview) Motherfucker what?!
:'''Dan''': Hey, no territory bullshit!
:'''Jeremy''': (interview) It's my station and I don't need his help. So shut up and do what you're supposed to be doing.
:'''Zach''': Unfucking believable.
:'''Gordon''': Can we go with three halibut, one bass, one chicken?
:'''Anthony''': Seven minutes to the window.
:'''Gordon''': (to Jeremy) What are we going with?
:'''Jeremy''': Two halibut, one chicken chef.
:'''Dan''': Three halibut!
:'''Jeremy''': Three halibut, one chicken chef.
:'''Gordon''': Three halibut, one bass, one chicken! What are we going with?
:'''Jeremy''': (starts stuttering) The three sleep, the three, three halibut, the two, two, uhh...
:''[Gordon pounds the workstation]''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Jeremy, he's telling it to you. Just say it right back man! I'm pretty sure birds can do that!
:'''Gordon''': Three halibut, one bass, one chicken. What's going?
:'''Jeremy''': Three halibut, two f..., two uh...
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!!
:'''Zach''': (interview) Bye, bye Jeremy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[sees Jacqueline drinking water]'' What are you doing?
:'''Jacqueline''': I had to get my water, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Get out!
:'''Jacqueline''': (under her breath) Alright, whatever.
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!
:'''Jacqueline''': (interview) Chef Ramsay told me to get out. I'm like, alright, I'm going to go upstairs and rehydrate myself!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on the risotto by Jon]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, man! ''[returns the risotto to the work station]'' ''[to Jon]'' Look at there! Stuck to the bottom of the pan!
:'''Jon''': Fuck, man!
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Jon]'' Jon, take Dan and yourself, and get the fuck out of here! ''[Jon and Dan leave the kitchen]'' 
:'''Zach''': (interview) When somebody gets kicked out the kitchen, they put more pressure on the next man.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Ray]'' Raymond, taste that! ''[Ray tastes the risotto with his bare fingers]'' Fingers, spoons are everywhere.
:'''Raymond''': Bland, chef.
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Ray, you just stick your finger in to a risotto in front of Chef Ramsay in Hell's Kitchen. That's just stupid!
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Ray]'' You may be the oldest, but out of respect, FUCK OFF!
:'''Raymond''': Yes, chef.
''[Ray leaves the kitchen]''
:'''Zach''': You got to be shitting me! (interview) Blue Kitchen tonight is like being in the middle of a natural disaster. ''[to Anthony]'' My fucking heart is beating (interview) I'm not feeling good right now, it's getting hot, I start feeling pressure.
:'''Anthony''': ''[to Zach]'' You good?
:'''Zach''': I got it, I got it, I'm just breathing.
:'''Gordon''': Risotto?
:'''Anthony''': ''[brings up the risotto]'' Risotto, chef.
''[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Anthony]''
:'''Gordon''': (to Anthony) Just taste that.
:'''Anthony''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, fuck.
:'''Zach''': (interview) Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Get out! Get out!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Sebastian tried to be funny, but it was his cooking that was the joke.

=== Episode Three [11.3] ===

:'''Nedra''': ''(Knocks on a counter in the dorm)'' Let's press the bell, bitch, because we can argue!
:'''Susan''': Ding!
:'''Gina''': Don't call me &quot;bitch&quot;!
:'''Nedra''': Don't mess with a heavyweight and you're a lightweight.
:'''Gina''': You're dealing with the wrong person!
:'''Nedra''': Yes, I'm dealing with a crazy, deranged person!
:'''Gina''': What a fucking baby.
:'''Nedra''': You need to watch your stuff.
:'''Gina''': ''(mockingly as she goes into the bedroom)'' Eah, she pointed her finger at me about the risotto, fuck off! ''(slams the door shut which causes a roof tile to come loose and hang over the door)''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Oh, my God! She just broke the ceiling!
:''[the Red team laughs]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[The chefs have just gathered outside for the next challenge, when suddenly, Gina speaks up]''
:'''Gina''': Excuse me, chef? I have something to say.
:'''Gordon''': Please, Gina.
:'''Gina''': Unfortunately, I am not going to be staying here for this challenge. I'm going to be leaving.
:'''Gordon''': You happy to throw the towel in so quickly?
:'''Gina''':  I have some personal issues; unfortunately, I have to.
:'''Gordon''': I'm not going to stop you. Please go back up to the dorms, pack your stuff, and leave Hell's Kitchen.
:'''Gina''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Red Team''': Bye, Gina.
:'''Nedra''': Man, right on the team challenge, this stupid bitch backs out. Bitch, you going to back out doing of a competition? If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. That bitch folded like a piece of wet paper towel.
''[Gina departs through the delivery service door with luggage in tow]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon returns a risotto to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': What is that? Fucking muppets! All of you. All of you. All of you!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Taste that! Hurry up, Jessica! Haven't you got time to piss around! I mean--.
:'''Jessica''': Yes, chef. Coming through.
:'''Gordon''': What's the first thing you taste?
:'''Cyndi''': White wine chef. (interview) Come on, Mary. Get it together. That's basic shit.
:'''Gordon''': (to Mary) How much wine did you put in?
:'''Mary''': I put in just a few squirts chef.
:'''Gordon''': So you'll have to reduce it down!
:'''Mary''': Yes, chef. Yes, chef. (interview) Ugh.
:'''Gordon''': Get a pan on, start the risotto. Come on!
:'''Ja'Nel''': Yes, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks and tastes a risotto; finds that it has too much white wine again]''
:'''Gordon''': Too much white wine in there again. All of you.
:'''Mary''': Oh, my God.
:'''Gordon''': Taste that. Hurry up. Taste.
:'''Mary''': I think this is good.
:'''Susan''': It needs salt.
:'''Gordon''': How won't I taste the white wine in there again? (to Danielle) Have you got a drinking problem?
:'''Danielle''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': The first thing that you can taste in there is fucking white wine! (knocks his hand on the workstation)
:'''Danielle''': Yes, chef. So you want about a tablespoon?
:'''Gordon''': You have to burn off the alcohol!
:'''Danielle''': Yes, chef. (interview) I'm great on what I do. But this is fucking hard. I mean harder than hard.
:'''Gordon''': Can someone teach these two fucking idiots how to make a fucking risotto?!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Christian]''
:'''Gordon''': Christian!
:'''Christian''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': He brings up scallops, fucking rubber! (knocks his hand on the workstation) I mean, seriously?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) What the hell are you doing? Come on! Pick it up, please!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, you! Come here, you.
:'''Christian''': Ugh.
:'''Gordon''': Touch them. (calls out Jeremy) Hey, you, big boy. Come here, you.
:'''Jeremy''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': You're the one that's supposed to be supporting them.
:'''Jeremy''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': How about supporting your fucking gut? (leads Christian and Jeremy to the Chef's Table) Both of you, sit down! Hey, enjoy your shit!
:'''Jeremy''': (interview) I don't know how I'm in this situation right now.
:'''Gordon''': (to a server) A glass of wine, please. For the two chefs.
:'''Jeremy''': (interview) It was his scallops. I had nothing to do with it.
:'''Gordon''': (to Christian and Jeremy) Enjoy! Fuck you! ''[returns to the workstation; to the Blue team]'' Hey, get a grip! (knocks his hand on the workstation) Scallops, urgently!
:'''Jon''': Heard!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Jon]''
:'''Gordon''': This is a joke. Dry as fuck.
:'''Sous-Chef James''': It's awful.
:'''Gordon''': (returns to the workstation) STOP!
:'''Jon''': What?
:'''Gordon''': All of you! (raises one lamb) Who cooked that?
:'''Jon''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Come here you! All of you, come here! How much more shit does one need to take?! The dining room full of guests waiting for that.
:'''Jon''': (interview) I'm so pissed at myself right now. I just want to punch myself in the dick.
:'''Gordon''': You're making me look like a fucking idiot. (throws his spoon away) '''GET OUT!''' Leave me alone! Leave, get out, get out, get out. (gives the lamb to Christian) There you go. There's your second course. Fuck off! GET OUT!!
:'''Woman''': (overhears Gordon) Wow.
:'''Gordon''': '''GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Susan]''
:'''Sous-Chef Andi''': Oh, that's raw.
:'''Gordon''': That's raw? Oh, fuck me. (calls Nedra in the dining room) Nedra, come here! Hurry up.
:'''Nedra''': (returns to the kitchen) Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': (returns to the workstation) All of you! ALL OF YOU!!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': (raises one lamb) What the fuck is that?
:'''Amanda Giblin''': It's raw, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Who sent me raw lamb on the signature dishes? Who as that?
:'''Susan''': Me, chef.
:'''Gordon''': It's a joke for you, isn't it?
:'''Susan''': Not a joke at all, chef.
:'''Godrdon''': So what's that, then?
:'''Susan''': It's raw lamb.
:'''Gordon''': (throws the lamb away) All of you, get out!
:'''Jacqueline''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Get out! '''I'M DONE!''' Get out!
:'''Mary''': (interview) This sucks!
:'''Gordon''': Leave it!
:'''Mary''': (interview) Like we're all talented . We're all good at what we do...
:'''Gordon''': Leave it!
:'''Mary''': (interview) It shouldn't be that hard.
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!!

=== Episode Four [11.4] ===

:'''Gordon''': Blue Team first ticket away, here we go. Four covers, table 22. ''[slowly]'' Appetiser: one salad tableside, two risotto, one Caesar salad. 
:'''Blue Team''': Yes, Chef!
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Michael]'' Michael, how was that for you?
:'''Michael''': Fine, Chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Ray]'' Raymond, how was that for you?
:'''Raymond''': Perfect, Chef.
:'''Gordon''': Slow enough? 
:'''Raymond''': Yes, Chef.
''[Shows a flashback of Michael suggesting to have Gordon read the tickets slower to help them]''
:'''Gordon''': I mean, fucking hell!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with risotto]''
:'''Jean-Philippe''': VIP table, NBA player. The risotto is too hard.
:'''Gordon''': ''[returns and slams the risotto on the workstation]'' Risotto, a VIP table. Rice is fucking undercooked. ''[Ray places a pan underneath the workstation]'' Hey, he's a bit-- (to Ray) Hey, come here you. Give me that pan. ''[shows an overcooked risotto to the Blue team]''
:'''Ray''': That one--
:'''Gordon''': What are you doing? Wha-wha-wha-- Just what in the fuck are you doing?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Things are rolling, risotto goes out, awesome. Perfect good, good start.
:'''Gordon''': ''[slams the pan on the workstation]'' That's burned and that's hard! ''[gets and slams the plate on the pan]''
:'''Ray''': I'll put another one in chef.
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Risotto comes back, awesome. Perfect, ''[deflated tone]'' this is what we do.
:'''Gordon''': ''(knocks his hand on the workstation; to Ray)'' You, grand-dad! Come on! this is a pick up now!
:'''Ray''': Ten seconds, chef. Right here, chef.
:'''Zach''': (interview) Chef Ray, watch your motherfucking self and you'd better not make any more mistakes under the fucking sun. You hear me?
:'''Gordon''': '''KEEP THE FUCKING PAN DOWN!'''
:'''Ray''': Yes, chef. I understand, chef.
:'''Gordon''': '''MOVE, RAY!'''
:'''Ray''': Sorry.
:'''Dan''': (interview) Ray, get your head out of your ass and get this risotto out. We're waiting on you. Waiting on Ray!
:''[Ray brings his risotto to the pass, Gordon checks it]''
:'''Gordon''': Stop! Risotto tastes delicious! (to Ray) Now you've raised the bar.
:'''Ray''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Hey, don't piss your pants! Just stay focused!
:'''Ray''': I won't, chef. Yes, chef.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Jessica]''
:'''Gordon''': One risotto, why is she cooking all that? (returns to the workstation) Oy, all of you! How many portions are in there?
:'''Susan''': Three. There's three chef.
:'''Gordon''': Four? Five? (to Jessica) How many is going?
:'''Jessica Lewis''': Two chef.
:'''Gordon''': One! Is this a joke for you?
:'''Jessica Lewis''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': All that time we're waiting!
:'''Jessica Lewis''': Sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Five portions of fucking risotto, I need one!
:'''Jessica Lewis''': Let's go, bounce back.
:'''Gordon''': (disgusted) Yeah.
:'''Susan''': (to her team mates) Come on, guys. Let's pick it up. Let's get going.
:'''Gordon''': Throw five, serve one!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon asks for lamb in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Lamb?
:'''Dan''': ''(slices his lamb; finds that it's rare)'' Dude, this is under. I can't send this.
:'''Gordon''': Lamb?
:'''Jon''': Walk with the lamb, please.
:'''Dan''': Lamb is not done yet chef.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck off! Christ almighty!
:'''Dan''': It's still rare in the middle. The middle is rare, the outside are good.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck me.
:'''Michael Langdon''': We have to fire an all new garnish.
:'''Dan''': (interview, mocking Michael) Waaaaah! The lamb's not cooked! Waaaaah!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Brand new garnish.
:'''Dan''': (interview) Michael, just sit there and wait! I got it!
:'''Gordon''': Where is this fucking lamb?!
:'''Dan''': Right here chef.
:'''Gordon''': There's the fucking plates! Two minutes been sat there dressed!
:'''Jon''': Lamb is being cut. It's on its way.
:'''Dan''': Walking lamb. Behind. ''(brings his lamb to the pass)''
:'''Gordon''': It's there! Hey Bozo That's how open the fucking gap for you!
:'''Dan''': Yes, chef. Two lamb chef.
:''[Gordon checks Dan's lamb; returns to the workstation]''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Yelling over, problem solved. Right? 
:'''Gordon''': ''[points to Dan]'' '''YOU! HEY, STRING-BEAN! COME HERE!'''
:'''Dan''': Yes, chef!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Wrong.
:'''Gordon''': ''(raises a chewed up piece of lamb)'' What the fuck is that?!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Get lamb going now.
:'''Gordon''': What is that?! ''[Dan doesn't answer]'' Wha... '''WHAT IS THAT?!'''
:'''Dan''': Shit, chef.
:'''Gordon''': This needs one more minute in the oven, and that bit there should be a fucking dog's chew!
:'''Dan''': Yes, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Jacqueline brings her chicken to the pass]''
:'''Jacqueline''': Where would you like it, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Put it there.
:'''Jacqueline''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks her chicken; finds that it's raw]'' Pink fucking chicken. ''(returns to the workstation)'' Ladies!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Pink chicken!
:'''Jacqueline''': Fuck!
:'''Mary''': (Interview) Raw chicken, like seriously?
:'''Gordon''': Pink chicken. Undercooked, and pink.
:'''Jacqueline''': Sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[throws his spoon on the workstation as everyone stands around unresponsive]'' WAKE UP! Come on, Jacqueline!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Bounce back guys, leave it in the water longer.
:'''Gordon''': Jacqueline!
:'''Jacqueline''': Get me a pan.
:'''Gordon''': '''JACQUELINE!'''
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': There are some things you can't do in a kitchen...
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': ...and that's serving raw chicken!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': '''JESUS CHRIST!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon asks for lamb again in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Lamb? Where is the lamb?!
:'''Dan''': I'll just bring it up, chef. A minute left, chef.
:'''Michael Langdon''': Come on, I'm going to lose those garnish.
:'''Gordon''': A minute away. Garnish is done.
:'''Michael Langdon''': (interview) I'm doing fucking 50,000 things right now, and Dan is failing at the one fucking task that he has. I need a lamb.
:'''Dan''': (slices his lamb) Zach?
:'''Zach''': How the fuck?
:'''Dan''': (interview) Okay, the lamb wasn't cooking fast enough. What the fuck do you want me to do about it other than to put it in the damn oven. ''[puts his lamb in the oven]''
:'''Michael Langdon''': (to Dan) Dan, real time. How long?
:'''Dan''': (to Zach) How long?
:'''Michael Langdon''': '''YOU JUST LOOK AT THE FUCKING LAMB!''' HOW LONG?! ''[goes to the oven]'' OH, JESUS! FUCK! (interview) Then he asks Zach how long? Are you kidding me? How does that go? (to Dan) Get the fuck out of here! Get out! (interview) Really, if he lays one fucking finger on me, I'm going to beat him all over the fucking room! I don't care if I walk off and go to jail tonight!
:'''Ray''': (to Dan) Hey, don't stand there!
:'''Anthony''': (to Dan and Michael) Hey, come on! Split it up! ''[Michael bumps Dan out of his way]''
:'''Dan''': (to Michael) Don't fucking bump me again!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
:'''Dan''': (interview) Don't bump me! You ain't shit! You want to fucking fight?! Come get it!
:'''Gordon''': (to Michael) Hey, hey, hey you! (to Dan) Hey you, HEY FUCK-WIT! Come here you! Come here! ''[leads Dan and Michael to the pantry]''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Wooo-hoo! Someone's getting it down.
:'''Gordon''': ''[angrily slams the door]'' WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?!
:'''Michael Langdon''': (to Dan) You got to talk to me, bro. That's it.
:'''Dan''': Alright.
:'''Michael Langdon''': You got to fucking talk to me!
:'''Dan''': Stop yelling at me.
:'''Michael Langdon''': No, fuck you! Talk to me or get the fuck out and go home!
:'''Gordon''': (to Dan) You're throwing him under the bus all the fucking time!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Don't be sorry, dude!
:'''Dan''': I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Don't be sorry!
:'''Gordon''': Look at him and talk at each other!
:'''Dan''': I'll fix it! I'm sorry!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Let's do it! Come on!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Danielle]''
:'''Gordon''': Now it's overcooked.
:'''Sous-Chef Andi''': They're overcooked.
:'''Gordon''': (returns to the workstation) All of you, HEY!
:'''Mary''': (under her breath) Oh, my God.
:'''Gordon''': The Red team that loves taking the piss because they've flown off a private jet, they've been on a fucking mega super yacht, and they think they're King Dick because they've kissed Céline Dion's arse in fucking Vegas! Come here, you! Touch that.
:'''Amanda Giblin''': It's overcooked, chef.
:'''Susan''': Yes, chef. Overcooked.
:'''Gordon''': Just so--- ''[sees Danielle walking away]'' Oh, she disappears, look. Hey.
:'''Danielle Boorn''': I'm giving you another one chef. I understand that's overcooked. ''[brings another wellington to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': Look at that there. Touch that there.
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Yes, chef. Sorry, chef. Here's another one.
:'''Gordon''': And even before touching that one, what do you think that one's going to come out at?
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Medium, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Touch that one.
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Overcooked, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Overcooked. Overcooked. ''[slams the tray on the workstation]''
:'''Danielle Boorn''': (under her breath) Fuck!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': (interview) Danielle, girl. Get your shit together, man!
:'''Gordon''': Third time lucky, bingo?!
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Perfect, chef. Perfect, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Oh! &quot;Perfect, chef!&quot; (sarcastically)
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Sorry, chef. ''[brings another wellington to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': So the first two were what?!
:'''Danielle Boorn''': My fuck-up, chef. Sorry, chef.
:''[Gordon checks her wellingtons; then finally brings them to the pass]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[The Red Team lost the night's service; they have nominated Jessica and Danielle for elimination]''
:'''Gordon''': Okay, Danielle, Jessica step forward please. You know what? There's one more chef I'd like to hear from.
:'''Narrator''': With their dinner service loss, the Red team was forced to nominate two chefs for elimination. They put up Danielle and Jessica, but Chef Ramsay has his eye on a third.
:'''Gordon''': Because she could've killed someone tonight: (points to Jacqueline) Jacqueline! Get your arse up here. I mean honestly? Miss Pink Chicken? Unacceptable!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Ladies, you are not the same outfit that opened this competition, let me tell you. ''(members of the Blue team that won the night's service exchange smiles and grins amongst each other)'' If you think what you've been through is challenging so far... I... I'm going to turn up the heat. Because I need to start separating the chefs, from the cooks. Got it?
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Piss off!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Every dinner service, Danielle looked like a deer in the headlights, and that's why she ended up as dead meat.

=== Episode Five [11.5] ===

''[Gordon notices Nedra using soggy muffins for the eggs benedict]''
:'''Gordon''': Hey, hello!
:'''Nedra''': I've cut them right now, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''(gets Nedra's plate of eggs benedict)'' Stop Nedra, stop. ''[brings the eggs benedict to the workstation]'' Stop! LADIES! ''(gets a piece of muffin)'' Look, soggy. (to Nedra) Why are using the soggy ones when you've got toasted behind you?
:'''Nedra''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': No, not &quot;Yes, chef!&quot; Why are you using the soggy ones?!
:'''Nedra''': I didn't know the were soggy, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Visually you don't know that's not toasted?
:'''Nedra''': I didn't see it when they went down chef. But I have another one coming. ''[Gordon throws the muffin away on the plate]''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Let's go, guys. Let's bounce back.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on salmon with scrambled eggs on the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': (calls the Blue team) All of you, come here! Taste that. I want you to taste that scrambled egg! Taste it!
:'''Zach''': Some seasoning, guys! Little salt and pepper!
:'''Gordon''': Who made that?
:'''Ray''': I did, chef. I put salt and pepper in chef.
:'''Gordon''': You-- ''[throws his spoon away on the workstation]'' I mean, '''SERIOUSLY?! THEY'RE PARAMEDICS!'''
:'''Ray''': I got them, chef.
:'''Gordon''': I think you need a doctor right now! ''[knocks his hand on the workstation]''
:'''Ray''': Two more salmon coming right up.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
''[Gordon returns some salmon with scrambled eggs to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you, come here! ALL OF YOU!
:'''Blue team''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Some disgusting pig brought me the sample scrambled eggs. The sample scrambled eggs that I cooked an hour ago. ''[flashback to where Sous-chef Andi telling both teams to study the sample plates]'' These guests, they save lives on a daily basis and you want to serve that? JEREMY, DAN! '''YOU'LL FUCKING KILL SOMEONE WITH THAT!!''' ''(tosses the plate on the workstation)''
:'''Narrator''': It's early morning and Hell's Kitchen has opened its doors to serve breakfast to a group of much-deserving doctors, nurses and ENTs.
:'''Jon''': (to Jeremy) You pick that motherfucker up.
:'''Gordon''': Take that garnish back.
:'''Anthony''': Work it again! Let's go!
:'''Gordon''': Fuck off, guys.

=== Episode Six [11.6] ===

:''[Barret brings tickets to the pass]''
:'''Gordon''': Hey, Blue team!
:'''Zach''': (to the Blue team) Chef, pay attention!
:'''Gordon''': On order, four covers Table 23! ''(finds that the ticket was badly written)'' I mean, fuck me. (shows the ticket to the Blue team) Hey, look at the way he wrote that ticket. Look at how badly that's written out! Barret!
:'''Barret''': What happened?
:'''Gordon''': Rewrite the ti-- Where's Jean-Philippe? Jean-Philippe, what is that?
:'''Jean-Philippe''': Come on.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck off! ''(tears up the ticket)'' Hey JP, take him (Barret) and yourself back to fucking Belgium! Fuck right off! Fuck off!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks a risotto at the pass]''
:'''Gordon''': It's undercooked, the rice. Wow, fuck me. ''(returns to the workstation)'' Hey, the rice is undercooked! The rice is undercooked!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': That's not ready yet, guys.
:'''Gordon''': Start again!
:'''Susan''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Come on! ''(to Jessica at the pass)'' What are you waiting on?
:'''Jessica''': [Table] 34, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, fuck-- come in here. Come in here! ''[Jessica enters the Red kitchen]'' How long have you been waiting?
:'''Jessica''': 20-30 minutes chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, you've been actually waiting 32 minutes. Tell your fucking team!
:'''Jessica''': (to the Red team) Let's go, guys! Table 34!
:'''Gordon''': Why are you laughing?
:'''Jessica''': I'm not. I'm sorry, chef. ''[Gordon throws his spoon away on the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': (to the Red team) Hey, all of you stop! Come here, fucking all of you! (to Jessica) You think this is a joke.
:'''Jessica''': No, chef. I don't.
:'''Gordon''': (to the Red team) We're dying for Table 34's fucking appetizers (to Jessica) and you're coming in to laugh at (points to Susan) her. What's funny?
:'''Jessica''': Nothing, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Do you want to go?
:'''Jessica''': No, chef. I don't.
:'''Gordon''': Can you tell your team to hurry up?
:'''Jessica''': (to the Red team) Let's go, team!
:'''Susan''': I'm ready!
:'''Gordon''': (to Jessica) Hey, it's sounds so funny, isn't it?
:'''Jessica''': No, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon asks for halibut in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Where is the fucking halibut?!
:'''Ray''': Coming up chef.
:'''Zach''': Come on, guys! Push it!
:'''Anthony''': (to Ray) Let's go, come on. Get those up.
:'''Narrator''': Ray hurries to deliver his third attempt at the same order of fish.
:'''Gordon''': WHERE IS IT?!
:'''Ray''': (to Dan) Bring that up.
:'''Dan''': Got it right here, chef. ''[brings Ray's halibut to the pass]''
:'''Zach''': Come on, come on. Go with that, good job.
:'''Anthony''': Please be cooked. For the love of God, be cooked.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks Ray's halibut]'' Wellington's beautifully cooked, pork's beautifully cooked.
:'''Anthony''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon''': But I have a problem. ''[returns to the workstation]'' I have a big fucking problem. '''YES, I DO!!''' ''[angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]'' '''MAN!!!'''
:'''Ray''': Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': '''THIS IS RAW!!!'''
:'''Zach''': Oh, my God!
:'''Anthony''': Oh, fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': '''THIS IS RAW!!!'''
:'''Zach''': (interview) Not again! Dammit! This can't be happening! (to Ray) Come on, Ray!
:'''Gordon''': '''IT'S JUST RAW!!!''' ''[angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]''
:'''Michael''': (to Ray) Get three more going. Get three more going. Put them in the oven.
:'''Gordon''': '''IT'S FUCKED!!!'''
:'''Zach''': (interview) We're going down in flames! ''Titanic'' ain't got shit on us!
:'''Gordon''': '''I'M DONE!!!''' ''(points to every member of the Blue team)'' You, you, you, you, you, you, '''GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!'''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) I was doing good, dammit.
(The blue team head to the dorm)
:'''Ray''': Did I not say that we're done? I will let you fucking know when you fucking keep leaving in it. (interview) Dan, just leave it alone. I had it fucking perfect.
:'''James''': (Storms into the blue team's dorm with raw halibut) Hey, where are you guys?! 
:'''Jon''': Right here, Chef!
:'''James''': I spent 18 hours with you guys today, I give you everything I got, and that's the bullshit you're going to give me in front of Chef Ramsay?! Make me look like a dickhead in a dining room full of people! I'm beside myself right now with that! I can't look at you guys anymore!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks and slices a pork brought up by Mary]''
:'''Gordon''': That's raw. ''(returns to the workstation and throws his spoon away; shows the raw pork to the Red team)''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Oh, my fucking God!
:'''Gordon''': COME HERE, ALL OF YOU!
:'''Mary''': God.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, kept me waiting 28 minutes for raw pork. ''(points to every member of the Red team)'' You, you, you, you, you, you, you, ''(slams the tray on the workstation)'' '''GET OUT!!! DISASTER!!! GET OUT!!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon has called both teams downstairs after kicking them out of service]''
:'''Gordon''': Stay there! Stay there! We're not done yet! Sous chefs and I are still cooking in there. There's no winning team, you both lost! Think of two individuals from each team that you want rid of! Fuck off upstairs! ''(returns to the kitchen)'' Unbelievable!

=== Episode Seven [11.7] ===

''[Episode picks up where the last episode left off at an elimination where four chiefs have given Chef Ramsay their jackets, but haven't been sent out the door as Ramsay has about to do something he's never done before]''
:'''Gordon''': All four of you are now on probation! Go, back in line!
:'''Ray''': Thank you Chef.
:'''Mary''': Thank you Chef.
:'''Gordon''': Don't thank me yet, and here's why: Each and every one of you, will have to earn your jacket back by the end of the next dinner service, and if you don't: (Gordon makes a swipe motion with his hand past his neck) you're history! ''Piss off!''
(Both the red and blue teams leave to head back to the dorms, as Chef Ramsay looks on, shaking his head)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[After the Blue team finally won a challenge]''
:'''Dan''': (Interview) About time! And the best part is: Look what I got! (Holds up his chef jacket up as he is now off probation, and heckles)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Barret]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you, come here.
:'''Barret''': (interview) Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': ''(points to a table of senior women)'' See those six glamourous ladies, slightly older? Yeah. And look.
:'''Barret''': Oh.
:'''Dan''': Oh, my God!
:'''Gordon''': ''(gets a parchment paper from a halibut)'' The paper.
:'''Jon''': (to Barret) You left the parchment on there, man?
:'''Zach''': (interview) What, you trying to kill people? By the time you swallow it, it's too late. You're on the floor with Jean-Philippe doing CPR on you. ''[scoffs]'' Who the fuck want that?
:'''Gordon''': (quietly to Barret) Hey, come here you. It's not a fucking joke. You should be ashamed.
:'''Barret''': I am. I am ashamed. (interview) Tonight of all nights, I'm just praying that we didn't lose the dinner service.
:'''Gordon''': Paper to a senior! ''[crosses to the Red kitchen out of disgust]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': While Barret starts over on the fish, in the Red kitchen, the women are very excited.
:'''Susan''': Our last ticket!
:'''Narrator''': To be closing in on the finish line.
:'''Susan''': We got this!
:'''Gordon''': Hey!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Shut the fuck up! High-fiving each other, last ticket, it's the same fucking ticket!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': When Jessica first arrived, I had high expectations for her. Unfortunately, she let us both down.

=== Episode Eight [11.8] ===

''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Jacqueline]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, Jesus. They're rubber. Scallops are overcooked! Rubber, look at that one. Just touch that one there. Just touch it there! Come on, get me some more in there!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': You've got the easiest appetiser!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef. (interview) Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, fuck you!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Okay? ''(returns a tray of appetizers to the workstation)'' Hey, fuck you all! Cold pizza, cold fish and chips, refire urgently!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on pizza brought up by Dan]''
:'''Gordon''': That's burned. (returns to the workstation) Fuck you all! ''[knocks the workstation]'' Damn! Come here, all of you! Come on! Hey look, there's no garnish around there and that's the biggest bit. Look at that there.
:'''Dan''': Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': (raises the pizza and drops it) For kids, and kids, fucking kids!
:'''Jon''': (interview) Dan is like a monkey wrench in a machine. You're killing me, man!
:'''Gordon''': Start again and get it together!
:'''Blue team''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on cheeseburger brought up by Ray]''
:'''Gordon''': Stone-cold. Hey, all of you. (points to Ray) You first, fuck-wit! Come here!
:'''Ray''': Oh, fuck! (interview) No, this can't be happening.
:'''Gordon''': Just touch that. Just touch the burger.
:'''Ray''': Oh, it's fucked, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[angrily throws the burger on the workstation]'' Whose table is that?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) A cold cheeseburger. How the hell does something like that happen?!
:'''Gordon''': That's my family.
:'''Dan''': (interview) He just brought a perfect storm our way. Thanks, dude.
:'''Gordon''': At this stage of the game, I don't expect the &quot;I'm sorry!&quot; '''IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!''' ''[knocks his hand on the workstation]'' '''IT'S FUCKED!!'''
:'''Ray''': I have another one chef.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Get it together, man. A cold burger?
:'''Gordon''': (to Ray) Hey, you have the audacity to send that to my son! I wouldn't do that to your family!
:'''Ray''': Totally my fault, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on chicken brought up by Barret]''
:'''Gordon''': I've got raw chicken here.
:'''James Avery''': And it's for my wife.
:'''Gordon''': ''[returns the chicken to the workstation]'' '''HEY!''' For Chef James's wife, pink chicken.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Raw fish, people can survive it. Under-cooked meat, cook it more it's like not going to kill you, but fucking raw chicken will fucking kill you.
:'''Gordon''': Chef James's wife is pregnant.
:'''Mary''': Oh, my gosh.
:'''Barret''': (interview) I can't even look at Chef James in the eyes. He's like a freaking triple black belt in Taekwondo. This dude will probably fuck me up right now.
:'''Gordon''': My family and James's family. Red Team, take over! Let's go! Move!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!

=== Episode Nine [11.9] ===

''[Gordon notices the Red team not cooking any entrées]''
:'''Gordon''': Hey, pedicure, manicure! How long?
:'''Jacqueline''': I am waiting for Susan!
:'''Gordon''': No, you fucked you! She's (Susan) slicing the prime rib! And you just stopped the whole fucking kitchen. ''(calls the Red team to the pass)'' All of you! ''(calls Susan in the dining room)'' SUSAN!
:'''Susan''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': '''COME HERE, YOU!'''
:'''Susan''': (interview) I know everyone keeps saying, &quot;Jacqueline is an amazing chef, she's so strong.&quot; (to Gordon) Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': You just stopped sending entrées, (to Susan) did you tell her (Jacqueline) to stop?
:'''Susan''': No.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, really?!
:'''Susan''': (interview) But if you can't perform with the lights turned on, then it's worthless.
:'''Gordon''': We are now stopped being serving meat that we're dying for. (to Jacqueline) Have you heard of anything so fucking stupid?!
:'''Jacqueline''': No.
:'''Gordon''': The less you give me your best, go home! OVER!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Get it together. Have a little meeting.
:'''Susan''': I know what table is next. If I need to rush, I could rush.
:'''Jacqueline''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': '''HURRY UP!!'''
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Susan''': Let's go, guys.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks and slices a New York strip brought up by Ray]''
:'''Gordon''': They're fucking raw. Fuck off. (to the Blue team) Hey, raw New York!
:'''Ray''': Oh, fuck me. (interview) Oh, my God. He just can't catch a break.
:'''Gordon''': (to Ray) Come here, you. Just fucking come here! Who cooked it?
:'''Ray''': I---.
:'''Gordon''': '''ANSWER!!!'''
:'''Ray''': I did, chef. I cooked it. I'll take it. I did, chef.
:'''Gordon''': This is where it goes so fucking badly! It's not even red in there!
:'''Ray''': I understand, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Two of you on the section! ''[knocks his hand on the workstation]'' Do you have any fight left?!
:'''Anthony''': Michael, make another one!
:'''Michael Langdon''': I'm going to cook. I'm going to cook.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Ray, Michael. Pull your heads out of your asses and cook the fucking meat!
:'''Ray''': Here, I got the fucking New York strip, okay?
:'''Michael Langdon''': I got it on.
:'''Ray''': Don't rush the steaks.
:'''Michael Langdon''': (interview) Ray, please stop talking. Let me fucking cook the meat. I got it.
:'''Gordon''': How long for that New York strip?
:'''Michael Langdon''': Three and a half, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck! Take the table back. Oh, fuck me. ''(gives the tray of entrées to Ray)'' Ray, hey. Fuck off. Take that. Take it. A fucking joke!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on filet mignon brought up by Amanda]''
:'''Gordon''': Raw, raw, fucking raw. ''[returns to the workstation]'' Oh, fucking hell!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Fuck my life!
:'''Gordon''': Raw filet! The easiest to cook, the most glamourous, the most in demand, cold and raw!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': (interview) Jacqueline says it's good, I trusted her, and they're raw.
:'''Gordon''': Raw in the middle! Hey, Amanda! It's not sushi night, it's steak night!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on filet mignon brought up by Jacqueline]''
:'''Gordon''': It's raw now. Now they're taking the piss. ''(returns to the workstation and repeatedly knocks it)'' What is it for the second fucking time?!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': It's fucking raw, chef.
:'''Gordon''': That's right! It's fucking raw!! ''(throws a filet on the workstation)''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': I have two more in the oven.
:'''Gordon''': ''(points to Amanda, Jacqueline, Nedra and Cyndi)'' You, you, you, you! '''FUCK OFF, ALL FOUR OF YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT!!'''

=== Episode Ten [11.10] ===
:''[Gordon checks the tuna is about to be served for the Quinceañera celebrant; found out it was cold]''
:'''Gordon''': You are kidding me, ice cold! HEY! ALL OF YOU COME HERE, HURRY UP! ''[returns the tuna at the workstation; then knocks twice on the counter]'' JUST TOUCH THAT! TOUCH THAT YOUR FINGERS.
:'''Ja'Nel''': Stone-cold.
:'''Gordon''': '''IT'S SAYING ICE COLD!'''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Something is so easy! WHO SEARED IT?
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Nedra seared it. (cuts off to Nedra when she blinks her eyes)
:'''Nedra''': I-- (interview) Fuck you, Amanda! You skate on thin ice! It's not the one I seared.
:'''Gordon''': ''[drops the tuna onto the workstation]'' Fucking hell! (throws a spoon away) I STOOD AWAY TO GO! A PIECE OF FISH THAT BIG THAT CAN'T BE SEARED! SHIT! (knocks over the workstation twice)
:'''Nedra''': Chef, I need take four--
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Nedra seared it, chef. I got it.
:'''Gordon''': (rekindles Amanda) &quot;Nedra seared it, I got it.&quot; (throws a spoon with a disappointment)
:'''Amanda Giblin''': (interview) Back off the station, I have it!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Chef, it was a poor mistake I'm trying to fix right now.
:'''Nedra''': Fucking bitch!

=== Episode Eleven [11.11] ===

=== Episode Twelve [11.12] ===

:'''Gordon:''' We're firing apps brilliantly, and now we're gonna start firing entrées.
:'''Anthony:''' Heard that, Chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay? First table away. Don't fall behind!
:'''Anthony:''' Absolutely.
:'''Blue team:''' Yes, Chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Red team, away now: one New York strip, one branzino. They go with the Blue team at the exact same time, yes?
:'''Red team:''' Yes, Chef!
:'''Gordon:''' Zach, one pork, one filet.
:'''Zach:''' I'm ready now, one minute!
:'''Gordon:''' Hey, come here, you fuckface. This is where he doesn't understand jack shit. &quot;I'm ready now, one minute.&quot; And yet the Red team need a bit of fucking time. ''[points to the Red Team]'' I wouldn't let them do that to you, so why are you doing that to them?
:'''Zach:''' Um, Chef, three minutes?
:'''Gordon:''' What'd you think? We started off with what? ''[holds his hand up]''
:'''Zach:''' Five.
:'''Gordon:''' Thank you.
:'''Zach:''' (interview) Unbelievable. Let me just keep my mouth shut. Yes, Chef!
:'''Gordon:''' Is that clear now?
:'''Zach:''' Yes, that's very clear!
:'''Gordon:''' I appreciate that!
:'''Zach:''' Thank you, Chef.
:'''Gordon:''' That's why I called you &quot;fuckface!&quot;
:'''Zach:''' Not a problem, Chef!
:'''Gordon:''' Because you're fucking them (the Red team) and you're fucking me!
:'''Zach:''' I don't wanna fuck anybody!
:'''Gordon:''' Thank you!
:'''Zach:''' Thank you! (interview) Did I just have a conversation with Chef Ramsay about fucking? ''[cuts to Zach in the kitchen, grinning]'' Yes, I did.

=== Episode Thirteen [11.13] ===

''[Continuing from the last episode, the red team drew a name out of a hat for which member to move to the blue team instead of deliberating.]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you, head back to the red fucking kitchen and spend two minutes and decide amongst you! Hurry up! I didn't ask you to stick it in a fucking hat like some fucking game show! What is this?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Ja'Nel]''
:'''Gordon''': They're overcooked. No, no, no, no, no.
:'''Andi''': Oh, shit.
:'''Susan''': Yeah, we're moving. We got this.
:'''Gordon''': We're not fucking moving and yet you haven't got anything. What is that shit?
:'''Ja'Nel''': I'll do it again, chef. I'm sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Look at them. Just touch them. That is disgusting!
:'''Ja'Nel''': (interview) This is my worst nightmare. Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': I cannot believe you done that! What is happening in here?! (points to Susan) She's cooking four risottos, we need two (points to Ja'Nel) and you're bastardising scallops! I'll reduce the menu, I'll pull down the appetisers, pull down the entrées for you to shine!
:'''Susan''': (interview) Ja'Nel is dronwning at this point. You are dragging the team down.
:'''Gordon''': WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!
:'''Mary''': (interview) I just want to slap her. Ja'Nel, wake up! Come on! You're so much better than this!
:'''Gordon''': Get a grip!
:'''Ja'Nel''': Yes, chef.
:'''Susan''': (to Ja'Nel) Go get it, chef. You'll get better, chef.
:'''Ja'Nel''': Give me two minutes on those scallops.
:'''Susan''': We got this. We're good.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;We got this&quot;? Fucking hell. She (Ja'Nel) can't even cook a scallop.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Nedra!
:'''Nedra''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Why can't you do the cold? (to Zach) Why did she drop ''[the pasta]'' that?
:'''Zach''': She said she don't need any help.
:'''Gordon''': My worry is the slowness.
:'''Nedra''': (interview) Chef, just watch how to let me fucking do this, I don't need no help!
:'''Gordon''': If I was in the Blue team, I'd have her off the fucking appetisers, I'll put her on the garnish, and someone with a pair of balls could step up and take over that fucking mess! (to the Blue team; goes to Nedra's station) All of you, come here! Just look! Just look at the fucking mess in here! The shit, the disarray, the disorganisation and look, ''[gets a basket of pasta on Nedra's station]'' look, look. '''LOOK AT THE MESS!!'''
:'''Nedra''': YES, CHEF! I'M GOING TO GET IT TOGETHER!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Jon]''
:'''Gordon''': This is a joke. They're not seared! (returns to the workstation) All of you, come here! Quick!
:'''Jon''': Are you serious?
:'''Gordon''': Like mush. Mush, mush, MUSH! (knocks his hand on the workstation) It's just a fucking joke!
:'''Anthony''': Fuck! (interview) God, are you kidding me? We can't even get past hot apps this late of the competition? God, it's humiliating!
:'''Gordon''': Yet again, we're fucking struggling! I'm putting the gas, I'm turning the engine, I'm driving every fucking table! I'M DONE!!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Please, don't let this be happening again.
:'''Gordon''': (points to every member of the Blue team) Listen, listen, listen, listen! Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! GET OUT! GET OUT! Idiots!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Ja'Nel; finds that it's raw]''
:'''Mary''': There's going to be--.
:'''Gordon''': (interrupting Mary) No, it's not four minutes, come here! It's sushi time! Just touch that. I don't know what you're doing now. Do you know who this is for?
:'''Cyndi''': The VIP, chef.
:'''Ja'Nel''': (Interview) The one VIP in the house and I'm fucking ruining it. (to Gordon) Sorry, chef. (Interview) I hope this is a bad dream. I mean someone pinch me, slap me, shake me out of this hell hole that I'm in right now.
:'''Gordon''': I'm done! (points to every member of the Red team) YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU! '''FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE!!'''
:'''Cyndi''': Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': '''GET OUT!''' (to Cyndi) Hey! Excuse me, madam!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Fuck me&quot;?! How about &quot;FUCK YOU&quot;?!
:'''Cyndi''': (interview) How are we making these stupid mistakes?
:'''Gordon''': I'm done! '''FUCK OFF! OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Nedra wore a red jacket and a blue jacket, but after tonight's performance, I knew that she wouldn't be wearing a black jacket.

=== Episode Fourteen [11.14] ===

=== Episode Fifteen [11.15] ===

:''[8:33PM]''
:'''Narrator''': It's two and a half hours into dinner service and all of the red diners have been fed. But thanks to Zach's careless performance...
:'''Gordon''': Is that lamb-- (sees that it's overcooked) Oh, please! Does that not look like it's overcooked? Hey, you! Hey, fuck-face!
:'''Narrator''': ...the men are struggling with the two remaining tickets and all eyes are on Zach's lamb.
:'''Gordon''': Looks like elephant shit from here!
:'''Zach''': I understand, chef. I'm just waiting for the fish.
:'''Gordon''': You fucking give me one more excuse, I swear to God, take your jacket and fuck off out of here!
:'''Zach''': I'm sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Stop making excuses!
:'''Zach''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Two lamb, one wellington, one bass. How long? (Zach doesn't answer; goes over to Zach's station) Put it down, I can do the rest. You can fuck off, Zach.
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Chef Ramsay has just had it. He comes in and says &quot;You know what, Zach? I'm going to work your station now.&quot;
:'''Zach''': Chef, you're going to put it fat side down first?
:'''Gordon''': Now he's asking me stupid questions. &quot;Hey, chef, can I brush my teeth? Hey, chef, uh...can I change my pants?&quot; One mistake and he's so frazzled.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

''[After Anthony has been eliminated]''
:'''Gordon''': Zach, come here! (Zach walks up to Chef Ramsay as the women and Jon look on in awe)(Pause) Do your jacket up! I'm watching you closely, Back in line!

=== Episode Sixteen [11.16] ===

''[Gordon checks on lobster brought up by Cyndi]''
:'''Gordon''': Cyndi? Hey all of you, come here. Come here! Just touch that. Touch that lobster. When it's something so curly like that, what does it mean?
:'''Susan''': Overcooked, chef.
:'''Gordon''': So it fucking ''(throws the lobster hard against the wall)'' bounces off the fucking wall!
:'''Susan''': (interview) Did that just happened?! It is black jackets time, we could not be making these stupid mistakes.
:'''Gordon''': Can I have a poached lobster?!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Pick that [the lobster] up.
:'''Mary''': Yes, chef.
:'''Susan''': Come on, ladies. Pick it up!
:'''Mary''': (to Cyndi) Do you need some help, Cynd?
:'''Gordon''': What's the matter with you?!
:'''Cyndi''': I got it. I'm bouncing back chef. I'm bouncing back right now.
:'''Gordon''': Jesus Christ.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Mary brings Cyndi's lobster to the pass, Gordon checks it]''
:'''Gordon''': Now, it's raw. Just stone-fucking-cold. Hey all of you, come here!
:'''Mary''': Oh, crap!
:'''Gordon''': Now, the lobster is raw!
:'''Mary''': Ugh!
:'''Gordon''': (to Cyndi) Come here you! Just touch that. You know it's wrong, it's stone-cold! First one was rubber, now this is ice-cold!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[leads the Red team to the pantry]'' Come here you. All three of you, come here! (to Sous-chef Andi) Andi, take over! SUSAN!
:'''Susan''': Yes-- I'm coming! I'm coming chef!
:'''Gordon''': Get in here!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Mary''': Come on!
:'''Gordon''': ''[angrily slams the door]'' What's happening?! What's the matter with you?!
:'''Mary''': (interview) I have never been in the pantry with Chef and it's never a good thing when he takes you back there.
:'''Gordon''': You've got to get a standard inside you! You're screwing the Red team!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': I'd rather slow down and increase the standard than sending me shit!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': WAKE UP! All of you!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': There once was a chef named Zach,
:For words he didn't lack.
:But in the kitchen, he was no magician,
:And he won't be coming back.

=== Episode Seventeen [11.17] ===

=== Episode Eighteen [11.18] ===

=== Episode Nineteen [11.19] ===

''[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Ja'Nel]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you. ALL OF YOU! ''[points to Ja'Nel]'' Hey, I mean you.
:'''Ja'Nel''': No, chef. I'm sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, come here you. Taste that.
:'''Mary''': (interview) Ugh! It's disgusting!
:'''Gordon''': Come here. All of you, come here. ''[leads the Final five to the back counter; points to [[w:Antonio Sabàto, Jr.|Antonio Sabàto, Jr.]] at the Chef's Table]'' We have a VIP guest in the fucking kitchen. What is that? IT'S MUSH! ABSOLUTE MUSH!! What is happening?!
:'''Ja'Nel''': (interview) I can't believe it. It's just really embarrassing.
:'''Gordon''': Get a grip now!
:'''Final Five''': Yes, chef!
:'''Ja'Nel''': Sorry, chef.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Here we go. Two covers, Table 21: two mussels, entrée: one halibut, one New York Strip.
:'''Final Five''': Yes, chef!
:'''Susan''': Two minutes on this order: one halibut, one New York!
:'''Jon''': Three minutes, heard.
:'''Gordon''': Who called? What's she yelling about? Susan called out halibut, New York steak and we haven't sent out the appetisers. What's going, Susan?
:'''Susan''': Right now, we have one halibut, and one New York!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, all of you, come here! Stop what you're doing, all of you. She's firing entrées, one halibut, one New York strip. FYI, dumbo, we haven't even sent the appetisers!
:'''Mary''': (interview) What is Susan thinking right now? Like, what are you thinking Susan?
:'''Gordon''': Is the ticket crossed out?
:'''Final Five''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': What are you doing to them?
:'''Susan''': We fired that ticket, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Who's &quot;we&quot;?! I didn't!
:'''Antonio Sabato Jr.''': She's screwed.
:'''Gordon''': All of a sudden, you're the chef, right?
:'''Susan''': No, chef! No!
:'''Gordon''': Step up. Here you go. ''(takes off his apron and gives it to Susan)'' Here you go. You fucking run it then. Here you go. Andi, leave her alone.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Susan can't even give correct times on her own station. She's running the kitchen? (sighs) We're fucked.
:'''Susan''': Sorry.
:'''Gordon''': You run it! Fuck it, there you go, run it! ''(tosses his tongs on the hotplate)'' Fucking good luck. Off you go. This is a fucking joke. Andi, fuck them! Leave them! ''(Gordon and Andi walk out of the kitchen)'' Pathetic!

=== Episode Twenty [11.20] ===

=== Episode Twenty One (Two Hour Finale) [11.21] ===

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia|Hell's Kitchen (U.S. season 11)}}
* {{IMDb title|0437005}}
[[Category:Hell's Kitchen seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>0wg44fej51n3dudq8vtyazgztlglxbk</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149104</id>
      <parentid>3149103</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T19:44:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1700:24A3:170:CDF8:DA82:A6C6:261C</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Episode Six [11.6] */</comment>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 1|1]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 2|2]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 3|3]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 4|4]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 5|5]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 6|6]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 7|7]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 8|8]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 9|9]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 10|10]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 11|11]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 12|12]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 13|13]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 14|14]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 15|15]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 16|16]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 17|17]] | '''[[Hell's Kitchen|Main]]'''
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)|Hell's Kitchen]]''''' is an American cooking reality show based on [[w:Hell's Kitchen (UK)|the British program of the same title]], where Chef [[w:Gordon Ramsay|Gordon Ramsay]] puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

=== Episode One [11.1] ===

''[Signature dishes before a live audience at Caesar's Palace]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[Looking at Dan's dish]'' Seriously, did you throw up on that plate? Let's go back 45 minutes.
:'''Dan''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': What is it supposed to be?
:'''Dan''': Eggs Benedict with a champagne hollandaise sauce and sourdough bread, heirloom tomatoes and sautéed spinach.
:'''Gordon''': And how did you make the hollandaise?
:'''Dan''': I used whole butter. If it's good enough for Julia Child, it's good enough for me.
:'''Gordon''': Julia Child would be turning in her grave right now if she saw that. (tastes) It's fitting that you made this in Vegas because whoever eats that is sure to get the craps. Let me tell you. That is a joke.

=== Episode Two [11.2] ===

''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Gina]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, Jesus. All of you, come here. Let me show you a little waterfall. ''[tilts the plate]''
:'''Mary''': Oh, my gosh.
:'''Gordon''': Just touch them. Cold, overcooked.
:'''Susan''': Switch up scallops, guys.
:'''Ja'Nel''': Mary, do you want to do scallops?
:'''Gina Aloise''': No, I want to do scallops, somebody else got to do risotto. ''[Nedra gives a shocked face]''
:'''Gordon''': What do you mean?
:'''Nedra''': (interview) Oh, wait. Hell, no! Gina, don't throw me under the bus because your shit ain't right. (to Gina) How long on scallops?
:'''Gina Aloise''': (interview) Nedra, just fuck off.
:'''Ja'Nel''': You've got some good color on there. You'll burn it.
:'''Nedra''': (interview) This bitch couldn't cook a scallop to save her life. I know that Chef is about to find out.
:'''Gina Aloise''': I've got the scallops ready.
:'''Susan''': Go Gina, you got to go.
:'''Gina Aloise''': Walking scallops chef.
:'''Nedra''': (interview) Mmm-hmm. Good luck to you, Gina! ''(brings her risotto to the pass)'' Risotto, right behind you chef, hot.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks Gina's scallops]'' Aah? Hard! All of you, come here! ''[gets a scallop and flips it like a coin; throws it on the workstation]'' I guarantee a complete service tonight. You can't even hold it together for the second ticket. Get out, Gina!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on capellini brought up by Sebastian]''
:'''Gordon''': Taste that. How hot is that?
:'''Sous-Chef James''': Spicy, spicy.
:'''Gordon''': ''(returns to the workstation and spits pasta out)'' All of you, taste that! It's too spicy and it's disgusting! ''[throws his spoon away on the workstation]'' And again, scallops cooked beautifully.
:'''Zach''': (interview) What the fuck is going on? It's like deja vu on this motherfucker.
:'''Gordon''': (to Zach) How many times have you cooked scallops and not serve them?
:'''Zach''': Twice chef.
:'''Sebastian''': Sorry, bro.
:'''Gordon''': Sebastian, get it together!
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, chef!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Come on guys, let's go.
:'''Sebastian''': Okay Mikey-Wikey. (interview) I messed up a few times but I'm getting into the groove. I'm playing around. I'm trying to make the environment a little looser.
:'''Sebastian''': Zachy, talk to me.
:'''Zach''': (to Michael) We've got three halibut, one branzino.
:'''Sebastian''': Zacky-Wacky!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, you! Hey! Come here, you. Zacky-Wacky?
:'''Sebastian''': Chef Zach!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, look at me. Hey, look-- Is this a fucking joke?
:'''Sebastian''': No, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Zacky-Wacky?!
:'''Sebastian''': Sorry, I apologize about that, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, do me a favour: GET OUT!
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Fuck off, will you? Get out!
:'''Sebastian''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Upstairs, GET OUT!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) So Sebastian gets kicked out. Didn't see that coming.
:'''Gordon''': Zacky-Wacky?
:''[Sebastian runs back into the kitchen]''
:'''Dan''': What are you doing?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Where the hell are you going Sebastian? Okay, yeah, you can come back.
:'''Gordon''': Second time! Get out!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) God, are you kidding me?
:'''Gordon''': Fuck off! Wacky!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon asks for lamb in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Lamb! Come on, Michael! Bit of energy!
:'''Michael Langdon''': ''[brings his lamb to the pass]'' Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks the lamb; returns to the workstation]'' Terrible. Embarrassment.
:'''Barret''': Oh, God. (interview) Fuck, it's coming back.
:'''Gordon''': Time out! Stop!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': The bone thicker than the fucking meat.
:'''Dan''': (interview) There needs to be meat on there. This is not a fucking dog's chew-toy, this is lamb!
:'''Gordon''': And if that is not bad enough. ''[Shows the wellington which is cremated]''
:'''Barret''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': They are way overcooked.
:'''Barret''': Horrible. Fuck!
:'''Zach''': (interview) Michael and Barret, dumb and dumber!
:'''Gordon''': You don't slice the wellington until the lamb's ready.
:'''Barret''': Yes, chef.
:''[Sebastian returns to the kitchen once again]'' 
:'''Gordon''': And when it's together like-- (sees Sebastian) Oh, you!
:'''Sebastian''': Chef? Can I please come back, chef?
:'''Jon''': (interview) Dude really, what are you doing? Perfect fucking timing.
:'''Gordon''': You, come here you. You're making me look stupid.
:'''Sebastian''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': The blue team, one hour into service and not one entrée out. You, (Sebastian) for the last time, take him (Barret) and him (Michael) and get out! And let me tell you something, you come back downstairs again, you'll be leaving through the front door. Now GET OUT! Three of you! You (Ray) on meat. You (Anthony) on meat. ''[Barret stands in the doorway]'' Oi! '''GET OUT!!!'''
:'''Barret''': (interview) Now, I'm pissed off. I didn't do anything to get kicked out of this dinner service. ''(angrily throws his apron)''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon returns a garnish with undercooked potatoes brought up by Susan]''
:'''Gordon''': Ladies! Touch them.
:'''Nedra''': Hard, chef.
:'''Susan''': (interview) Oh, my God. That's my garnish.
:'''Gordon''': Who cooked them?
:'''Susan''': I did, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, you, get out! Get out!
:'''Susan''': ''[under her breath]'' You're kidding me.
:'''Gordon''': Hey, madam, you think it's funny?
:'''Susan''': No, no, no!
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, take your shit with you.
:'''Susan''': (interview) I know that this is not funny. I don't deserve to be kicked out of the kitchen. Danielle does. She was the one bringing the station down.
:'''Gordon''': Danielle, don't stop the redo, hurry up! After that, two chicken, two wellington.
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Two chicken, two wellington. Yes, chef. Sorry, chef, I'm confused. Do you need the one for the redo and the two chicken and two wellington or do you just want the two chicken and two wellington?
:''[brief pause]''
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Three halibut, one bass, one chicken. Come on, guys!
:'''Ray, Jeremy and Zach''': Yes, chef.
:''[Jeremy's kale catches fire]''
:'''Zach''': (interview) I'm looking at Jeremy sautéing that kale. I can see the kale nearly catching fire getting burnt!
:'''Zach''': Chef, turn that down.
:'''Jeremy''': Yeah, yeah.
:'''Zach''': Don't even serve that.
:'''Jeremy''': I'm not. Worry about your side, let me do my side! Yeah?
:'''Zach''': (interview) Motherfucker what?!
:'''Dan''': Hey, no territory bullshit!
:'''Jeremy''': (interview) It's my station and I don't need his help. So shut up and do what you're supposed to be doing.
:'''Zach''': Unfucking believable.
:'''Gordon''': Can we go with three halibut, one bass, one chicken?
:'''Anthony''': Seven minutes to the window.
:'''Gordon''': (to Jeremy) What are we going with?
:'''Jeremy''': Two halibut, one chicken chef.
:'''Dan''': Three halibut!
:'''Jeremy''': Three halibut, one chicken chef.
:'''Gordon''': Three halibut, one bass, one chicken! What are we going with?
:'''Jeremy''': (starts stuttering) The three sleep, the three, three halibut, the two, two, uhh...
:''[Gordon pounds the workstation]''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Jeremy, he's telling it to you. Just say it right back man! I'm pretty sure birds can do that!
:'''Gordon''': Three halibut, one bass, one chicken. What's going?
:'''Jeremy''': Three halibut, two f..., two uh...
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!!
:'''Zach''': (interview) Bye, bye Jeremy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[sees Jacqueline drinking water]'' What are you doing?
:'''Jacqueline''': I had to get my water, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Get out!
:'''Jacqueline''': (under her breath) Alright, whatever.
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!
:'''Jacqueline''': (interview) Chef Ramsay told me to get out. I'm like, alright, I'm going to go upstairs and rehydrate myself!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on the risotto by Jon]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, man! ''[returns the risotto to the work station]'' ''[to Jon]'' Look at there! Stuck to the bottom of the pan!
:'''Jon''': Fuck, man!
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Jon]'' Jon, take Dan and yourself, and get the fuck out of here! ''[Jon and Dan leave the kitchen]'' 
:'''Zach''': (interview) When somebody gets kicked out the kitchen, they put more pressure on the next man.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Ray]'' Raymond, taste that! ''[Ray tastes the risotto with his bare fingers]'' Fingers, spoons are everywhere.
:'''Raymond''': Bland, chef.
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Ray, you just stick your finger in to a risotto in front of Chef Ramsay in Hell's Kitchen. That's just stupid!
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Ray]'' You may be the oldest, but out of respect, FUCK OFF!
:'''Raymond''': Yes, chef.
''[Ray leaves the kitchen]''
:'''Zach''': You got to be shitting me! (interview) Blue Kitchen tonight is like being in the middle of a natural disaster. ''[to Anthony]'' My fucking heart is beating (interview) I'm not feeling good right now, it's getting hot, I start feeling pressure.
:'''Anthony''': ''[to Zach]'' You good?
:'''Zach''': I got it, I got it, I'm just breathing.
:'''Gordon''': Risotto?
:'''Anthony''': ''[brings up the risotto]'' Risotto, chef.
''[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Anthony]''
:'''Gordon''': (to Anthony) Just taste that.
:'''Anthony''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, fuck.
:'''Zach''': (interview) Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Get out! Get out!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Sebastian tried to be funny, but it was his cooking that was the joke.

=== Episode Three [11.3] ===

:'''Nedra''': ''(Knocks on a counter in the dorm)'' Let's press the bell, bitch, because we can argue!
:'''Susan''': Ding!
:'''Gina''': Don't call me &quot;bitch&quot;!
:'''Nedra''': Don't mess with a heavyweight and you're a lightweight.
:'''Gina''': You're dealing with the wrong person!
:'''Nedra''': Yes, I'm dealing with a crazy, deranged person!
:'''Gina''': What a fucking baby.
:'''Nedra''': You need to watch your stuff.
:'''Gina''': ''(mockingly as she goes into the bedroom)'' Eah, she pointed her finger at me about the risotto, fuck off! ''(slams the door shut which causes a roof tile to come loose and hang over the door)''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Oh, my God! She just broke the ceiling!
:''[the Red team laughs]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[The chefs have just gathered outside for the next challenge, when suddenly, Gina speaks up]''
:'''Gina''': Excuse me, chef? I have something to say.
:'''Gordon''': Please, Gina.
:'''Gina''': Unfortunately, I am not going to be staying here for this challenge. I'm going to be leaving.
:'''Gordon''': You happy to throw the towel in so quickly?
:'''Gina''':  I have some personal issues; unfortunately, I have to.
:'''Gordon''': I'm not going to stop you. Please go back up to the dorms, pack your stuff, and leave Hell's Kitchen.
:'''Gina''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Red Team''': Bye, Gina.
:'''Nedra''': Man, right on the team challenge, this stupid bitch backs out. Bitch, you going to back out doing of a competition? If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. That bitch folded like a piece of wet paper towel.
''[Gina departs through the delivery service door with luggage in tow]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon returns a risotto to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': What is that? Fucking muppets! All of you. All of you. All of you!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Taste that! Hurry up, Jessica! Haven't you got time to piss around! I mean--.
:'''Jessica''': Yes, chef. Coming through.
:'''Gordon''': What's the first thing you taste?
:'''Cyndi''': White wine chef. (interview) Come on, Mary. Get it together. That's basic shit.
:'''Gordon''': (to Mary) How much wine did you put in?
:'''Mary''': I put in just a few squirts chef.
:'''Gordon''': So you'll have to reduce it down!
:'''Mary''': Yes, chef. Yes, chef. (interview) Ugh.
:'''Gordon''': Get a pan on, start the risotto. Come on!
:'''Ja'Nel''': Yes, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks and tastes a risotto; finds that it has too much white wine again]''
:'''Gordon''': Too much white wine in there again. All of you.
:'''Mary''': Oh, my God.
:'''Gordon''': Taste that. Hurry up. Taste.
:'''Mary''': I think this is good.
:'''Susan''': It needs salt.
:'''Gordon''': How won't I taste the white wine in there again? (to Danielle) Have you got a drinking problem?
:'''Danielle''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': The first thing that you can taste in there is fucking white wine! (knocks his hand on the workstation)
:'''Danielle''': Yes, chef. So you want about a tablespoon?
:'''Gordon''': You have to burn off the alcohol!
:'''Danielle''': Yes, chef. (interview) I'm great on what I do. But this is fucking hard. I mean harder than hard.
:'''Gordon''': Can someone teach these two fucking idiots how to make a fucking risotto?!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Christian]''
:'''Gordon''': Christian!
:'''Christian''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': He brings up scallops, fucking rubber! (knocks his hand on the workstation) I mean, seriously?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) What the hell are you doing? Come on! Pick it up, please!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, you! Come here, you.
:'''Christian''': Ugh.
:'''Gordon''': Touch them. (calls out Jeremy) Hey, you, big boy. Come here, you.
:'''Jeremy''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': You're the one that's supposed to be supporting them.
:'''Jeremy''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': How about supporting your fucking gut? (leads Christian and Jeremy to the Chef's Table) Both of you, sit down! Hey, enjoy your shit!
:'''Jeremy''': (interview) I don't know how I'm in this situation right now.
:'''Gordon''': (to a server) A glass of wine, please. For the two chefs.
:'''Jeremy''': (interview) It was his scallops. I had nothing to do with it.
:'''Gordon''': (to Christian and Jeremy) Enjoy! Fuck you! ''[returns to the workstation; to the Blue team]'' Hey, get a grip! (knocks his hand on the workstation) Scallops, urgently!
:'''Jon''': Heard!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Jon]''
:'''Gordon''': This is a joke. Dry as fuck.
:'''Sous-Chef James''': It's awful.
:'''Gordon''': (returns to the workstation) STOP!
:'''Jon''': What?
:'''Gordon''': All of you! (raises one lamb) Who cooked that?
:'''Jon''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Come here you! All of you, come here! How much more shit does one need to take?! The dining room full of guests waiting for that.
:'''Jon''': (interview) I'm so pissed at myself right now. I just want to punch myself in the dick.
:'''Gordon''': You're making me look like a fucking idiot. (throws his spoon away) '''GET OUT!''' Leave me alone! Leave, get out, get out, get out. (gives the lamb to Christian) There you go. There's your second course. Fuck off! GET OUT!!
:'''Woman''': (overhears Gordon) Wow.
:'''Gordon''': '''GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Susan]''
:'''Sous-Chef Andi''': Oh, that's raw.
:'''Gordon''': That's raw? Oh, fuck me. (calls Nedra in the dining room) Nedra, come here! Hurry up.
:'''Nedra''': (returns to the kitchen) Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': (returns to the workstation) All of you! ALL OF YOU!!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': (raises one lamb) What the fuck is that?
:'''Amanda Giblin''': It's raw, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Who sent me raw lamb on the signature dishes? Who as that?
:'''Susan''': Me, chef.
:'''Gordon''': It's a joke for you, isn't it?
:'''Susan''': Not a joke at all, chef.
:'''Godrdon''': So what's that, then?
:'''Susan''': It's raw lamb.
:'''Gordon''': (throws the lamb away) All of you, get out!
:'''Jacqueline''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Get out! '''I'M DONE!''' Get out!
:'''Mary''': (interview) This sucks!
:'''Gordon''': Leave it!
:'''Mary''': (interview) Like we're all talented . We're all good at what we do...
:'''Gordon''': Leave it!
:'''Mary''': (interview) It shouldn't be that hard.
:'''Gordon''': GET OUT!!

=== Episode Four [11.4] ===

:'''Gordon''': Blue Team first ticket away, here we go. Four covers, table 22. ''[slowly]'' Appetiser: one salad tableside, two risotto, one Caesar salad. 
:'''Blue Team''': Yes, Chef!
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Michael]'' Michael, how was that for you?
:'''Michael''': Fine, Chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Ray]'' Raymond, how was that for you?
:'''Raymond''': Perfect, Chef.
:'''Gordon''': Slow enough? 
:'''Raymond''': Yes, Chef.
''[Shows a flashback of Michael suggesting to have Gordon read the tickets slower to help them]''
:'''Gordon''': I mean, fucking hell!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with risotto]''
:'''Jean-Philippe''': VIP table, NBA player. The risotto is too hard.
:'''Gordon''': ''[returns and slams the risotto on the workstation]'' Risotto, a VIP table. Rice is fucking undercooked. ''[Ray places a pan underneath the workstation]'' Hey, he's a bit-- (to Ray) Hey, come here you. Give me that pan. ''[shows an overcooked risotto to the Blue team]''
:'''Ray''': That one--
:'''Gordon''': What are you doing? Wha-wha-wha-- Just what in the fuck are you doing?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Things are rolling, risotto goes out, awesome. Perfect good, good start.
:'''Gordon''': ''[slams the pan on the workstation]'' That's burned and that's hard! ''[gets and slams the plate on the pan]''
:'''Ray''': I'll put another one in chef.
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Risotto comes back, awesome. Perfect, ''[deflated tone]'' this is what we do.
:'''Gordon''': ''(knocks his hand on the workstation; to Ray)'' You, grand-dad! Come on! this is a pick up now!
:'''Ray''': Ten seconds, chef. Right here, chef.
:'''Zach''': (interview) Chef Ray, watch your motherfucking self and you'd better not make any more mistakes under the fucking sun. You hear me?
:'''Gordon''': '''KEEP THE FUCKING PAN DOWN!'''
:'''Ray''': Yes, chef. I understand, chef.
:'''Gordon''': '''MOVE, RAY!'''
:'''Ray''': Sorry.
:'''Dan''': (interview) Ray, get your head out of your ass and get this risotto out. We're waiting on you. Waiting on Ray!
:''[Ray brings his risotto to the pass, Gordon checks it]''
:'''Gordon''': Stop! Risotto tastes delicious! (to Ray) Now you've raised the bar.
:'''Ray''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Hey, don't piss your pants! Just stay focused!
:'''Ray''': I won't, chef. Yes, chef.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Jessica]''
:'''Gordon''': One risotto, why is she cooking all that? (returns to the workstation) Oy, all of you! How many portions are in there?
:'''Susan''': Three. There's three chef.
:'''Gordon''': Four? Five? (to Jessica) How many is going?
:'''Jessica Lewis''': Two chef.
:'''Gordon''': One! Is this a joke for you?
:'''Jessica Lewis''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': All that time we're waiting!
:'''Jessica Lewis''': Sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Five portions of fucking risotto, I need one!
:'''Jessica Lewis''': Let's go, bounce back.
:'''Gordon''': (disgusted) Yeah.
:'''Susan''': (to her team mates) Come on, guys. Let's pick it up. Let's get going.
:'''Gordon''': Throw five, serve one!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon asks for lamb in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Lamb?
:'''Dan''': ''(slices his lamb; finds that it's rare)'' Dude, this is under. I can't send this.
:'''Gordon''': Lamb?
:'''Jon''': Walk with the lamb, please.
:'''Dan''': Lamb is not done yet chef.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck off! Christ almighty!
:'''Dan''': It's still rare in the middle. The middle is rare, the outside are good.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck me.
:'''Michael Langdon''': We have to fire an all new garnish.
:'''Dan''': (interview, mocking Michael) Waaaaah! The lamb's not cooked! Waaaaah!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Brand new garnish.
:'''Dan''': (interview) Michael, just sit there and wait! I got it!
:'''Gordon''': Where is this fucking lamb?!
:'''Dan''': Right here chef.
:'''Gordon''': There's the fucking plates! Two minutes been sat there dressed!
:'''Jon''': Lamb is being cut. It's on its way.
:'''Dan''': Walking lamb. Behind. ''(brings his lamb to the pass)''
:'''Gordon''': It's there! Hey Bozo That's how open the fucking gap for you!
:'''Dan''': Yes, chef. Two lamb chef.
:''[Gordon checks Dan's lamb; returns to the workstation]''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Yelling over, problem solved. Right? 
:'''Gordon''': ''[points to Dan]'' '''YOU! HEY, STRING-BEAN! COME HERE!'''
:'''Dan''': Yes, chef!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Wrong.
:'''Gordon''': ''(raises a chewed up piece of lamb)'' What the fuck is that?!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Get lamb going now.
:'''Gordon''': What is that?! ''[Dan doesn't answer]'' Wha... '''WHAT IS THAT?!'''
:'''Dan''': Shit, chef.
:'''Gordon''': This needs one more minute in the oven, and that bit there should be a fucking dog's chew!
:'''Dan''': Yes, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Jacqueline brings her chicken to the pass]''
:'''Jacqueline''': Where would you like it, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Put it there.
:'''Jacqueline''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks her chicken; finds that it's raw]'' Pink fucking chicken. ''(returns to the workstation)'' Ladies!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Pink chicken!
:'''Jacqueline''': Fuck!
:'''Mary''': (Interview) Raw chicken, like seriously?
:'''Gordon''': Pink chicken. Undercooked, and pink.
:'''Jacqueline''': Sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[throws his spoon on the workstation as everyone stands around unresponsive]'' WAKE UP! Come on, Jacqueline!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Bounce back guys, leave it in the water longer.
:'''Gordon''': Jacqueline!
:'''Jacqueline''': Get me a pan.
:'''Gordon''': '''JACQUELINE!'''
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': There are some things you can't do in a kitchen...
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': ...and that's serving raw chicken!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': '''JESUS CHRIST!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon asks for lamb again in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Lamb? Where is the lamb?!
:'''Dan''': I'll just bring it up, chef. A minute left, chef.
:'''Michael Langdon''': Come on, I'm going to lose those garnish.
:'''Gordon''': A minute away. Garnish is done.
:'''Michael Langdon''': (interview) I'm doing fucking 50,000 things right now, and Dan is failing at the one fucking task that he has. I need a lamb.
:'''Dan''': (slices his lamb) Zach?
:'''Zach''': How the fuck?
:'''Dan''': (interview) Okay, the lamb wasn't cooking fast enough. What the fuck do you want me to do about it other than to put it in the damn oven. ''[puts his lamb in the oven]''
:'''Michael Langdon''': (to Dan) Dan, real time. How long?
:'''Dan''': (to Zach) How long?
:'''Michael Langdon''': '''YOU JUST LOOK AT THE FUCKING LAMB!''' HOW LONG?! ''[goes to the oven]'' OH, JESUS! FUCK! (interview) Then he asks Zach how long? Are you kidding me? How does that go? (to Dan) Get the fuck out of here! Get out! (interview) Really, if he lays one fucking finger on me, I'm going to beat him all over the fucking room! I don't care if I walk off and go to jail tonight!
:'''Ray''': (to Dan) Hey, don't stand there!
:'''Anthony''': (to Dan and Michael) Hey, come on! Split it up! ''[Michael bumps Dan out of his way]''
:'''Dan''': (to Michael) Don't fucking bump me again!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
:'''Dan''': (interview) Don't bump me! You ain't shit! You want to fucking fight?! Come get it!
:'''Gordon''': (to Michael) Hey, hey, hey you! (to Dan) Hey you, HEY FUCK-WIT! Come here you! Come here! ''[leads Dan and Michael to the pantry]''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Wooo-hoo! Someone's getting it down.
:'''Gordon''': ''[angrily slams the door]'' WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?!
:'''Michael Langdon''': (to Dan) You got to talk to me, bro. That's it.
:'''Dan''': Alright.
:'''Michael Langdon''': You got to fucking talk to me!
:'''Dan''': Stop yelling at me.
:'''Michael Langdon''': No, fuck you! Talk to me or get the fuck out and go home!
:'''Gordon''': (to Dan) You're throwing him under the bus all the fucking time!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Don't be sorry, dude!
:'''Dan''': I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Don't be sorry!
:'''Gordon''': Look at him and talk at each other!
:'''Dan''': I'll fix it! I'm sorry!
:'''Michael Langdon''': Let's do it! Come on!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Danielle]''
:'''Gordon''': Now it's overcooked.
:'''Sous-Chef Andi''': They're overcooked.
:'''Gordon''': (returns to the workstation) All of you, HEY!
:'''Mary''': (under her breath) Oh, my God.
:'''Gordon''': The Red team that loves taking the piss because they've flown off a private jet, they've been on a fucking mega super yacht, and they think they're King Dick because they've kissed Céline Dion's arse in fucking Vegas! Come here, you! Touch that.
:'''Amanda Giblin''': It's overcooked, chef.
:'''Susan''': Yes, chef. Overcooked.
:'''Gordon''': Just so--- ''[sees Danielle walking away]'' Oh, she disappears, look. Hey.
:'''Danielle Boorn''': I'm giving you another one chef. I understand that's overcooked. ''[brings another wellington to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': Look at that there. Touch that there.
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Yes, chef. Sorry, chef. Here's another one.
:'''Gordon''': And even before touching that one, what do you think that one's going to come out at?
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Medium, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Touch that one.
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Overcooked, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Overcooked. Overcooked. ''[slams the tray on the workstation]''
:'''Danielle Boorn''': (under her breath) Fuck!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': (interview) Danielle, girl. Get your shit together, man!
:'''Gordon''': Third time lucky, bingo?!
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Perfect, chef. Perfect, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Oh! &quot;Perfect, chef!&quot; (sarcastically)
:'''Danielle Boorn''': Sorry, chef. ''[brings another wellington to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': So the first two were what?!
:'''Danielle Boorn''': My fuck-up, chef. Sorry, chef.
:''[Gordon checks her wellingtons; then finally brings them to the pass]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[The Red Team lost the night's service; they have nominated Jessica and Danielle for elimination]''
:'''Gordon''': Okay, Danielle, Jessica step forward please. You know what? There's one more chef I'd like to hear from.
:'''Narrator''': With their dinner service loss, the Red team was forced to nominate two chefs for elimination. They put up Danielle and Jessica, but Chef Ramsay has his eye on a third.
:'''Gordon''': Because she could've killed someone tonight: (points to Jacqueline) Jacqueline! Get your arse up here. I mean honestly? Miss Pink Chicken? Unacceptable!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Ladies, you are not the same outfit that opened this competition, let me tell you. ''(members of the Blue team that won the night's service exchange smiles and grins amongst each other)'' If you think what you've been through is challenging so far... I... I'm going to turn up the heat. Because I need to start separating the chefs, from the cooks. Got it?
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': Piss off!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Every dinner service, Danielle looked like a deer in the headlights, and that's why she ended up as dead meat.

=== Episode Five [11.5] ===

''[Gordon notices Nedra using soggy muffins for the eggs benedict]''
:'''Gordon''': Hey, hello!
:'''Nedra''': I've cut them right now, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''(gets Nedra's plate of eggs benedict)'' Stop Nedra, stop. ''[brings the eggs benedict to the workstation]'' Stop! LADIES! ''(gets a piece of muffin)'' Look, soggy. (to Nedra) Why are using the soggy ones when you've got toasted behind you?
:'''Nedra''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': No, not &quot;Yes, chef!&quot; Why are you using the soggy ones?!
:'''Nedra''': I didn't know the were soggy, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Visually you don't know that's not toasted?
:'''Nedra''': I didn't see it when they went down chef. But I have another one coming. ''[Gordon throws the muffin away on the plate]''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Let's go, guys. Let's bounce back.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on salmon with scrambled eggs on the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': (calls the Blue team) All of you, come here! Taste that. I want you to taste that scrambled egg! Taste it!
:'''Zach''': Some seasoning, guys! Little salt and pepper!
:'''Gordon''': Who made that?
:'''Ray''': I did, chef. I put salt and pepper in chef.
:'''Gordon''': You-- ''[throws his spoon away on the workstation]'' I mean, '''SERIOUSLY?! THEY'RE PARAMEDICS!'''
:'''Ray''': I got them, chef.
:'''Gordon''': I think you need a doctor right now! ''[knocks his hand on the workstation]''
:'''Ray''': Two more salmon coming right up.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
''[Gordon returns some salmon with scrambled eggs to the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you, come here! ALL OF YOU!
:'''Blue team''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Some disgusting pig brought me the sample scrambled eggs. The sample scrambled eggs that I cooked an hour ago. ''[flashback to where Sous-chef Andi telling both teams to study the sample plates]'' These guests, they save lives on a daily basis and you want to serve that? JEREMY, DAN! '''YOU'LL FUCKING KILL SOMEONE WITH THAT!!''' ''(tosses the plate on the workstation)''
:'''Narrator''': It's early morning and Hell's Kitchen has opened its doors to serve breakfast to a group of much-deserving doctors, nurses and ENTs.
:'''Jon''': (to Jeremy) You pick that motherfucker up.
:'''Gordon''': Take that garnish back.
:'''Anthony''': Work it again! Let's go!
:'''Gordon''': Fuck off, guys.

=== Episode Six [11.6] ===

:''[Barret brings tickets to the pass]''
:'''Gordon''': Hey, Blue team!
:'''Zach''': (to the Blue team) Chef, pay attention!
:'''Gordon''': On order, four covers Table 23! ''(finds that the ticket was badly written)'' I mean, fuck me. (shows the ticket to the Blue team) Hey, look at the way he wrote that ticket. Look at how badly that's written out! Barret!
:'''Barret''': What happened?
:'''Gordon''': Rewrite the ti-- Where's Jean-Philippe? Jean-Philippe, what is that?
:'''Jean-Philippe''': Come on.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck off! ''(tears up the ticket)'' Hey JP, take him (Barret) and yourself back to fucking Belgium! Fuck right off! Fuck off!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks a risotto at the pass]''
:'''Gordon''': It's undercooked, the rice. Wow, fuck me. ''(returns to the workstation)'' Hey, the rice is undercooked! The rice is undercooked!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': That's not ready yet, guys.
:'''Gordon''': Start again!
:'''Susan''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Come on! ''(to Jessica at the pass)'' What are you waiting on?
:'''Jessica''': [Table] 34, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, fuck-- come in here. Come in here! ''[Jessica enters the Red kitchen]'' How long have you been waiting?
:'''Jessica''': 20-30 minutes chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, you've been actually waiting 32 minutes. Tell your fucking team!
:'''Jessica''': (to the Red team) Let's go, guys! Table 34!
:'''Gordon''': Why are you laughing?
:'''Jessica''': I'm not. I'm sorry, chef. ''[Gordon throws his spoon away on the workstation]''
:'''Gordon''': (to the Red team) Hey, all of you stop! Come here, fucking all of you! (to Jessica) You think this is a joke.
:'''Jessica''': No, chef. I don't.
:'''Gordon''': (to the Red team) We're dying for Table 34's fucking appetizers (to Jessica) and you're coming in to laugh at (points to Susan) her. What's funny?
:'''Jessica''': Nothing, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Do you want to go?
:'''Jessica''': No, chef. I don't.
:'''Gordon''': Can you tell your team to hurry up?
:'''Jessica''': (to the Red team) Let's go, team!
:'''Susan''': I'm ready!
:'''Gordon''': (to Jessica) Hey, it's sounds so funny, isn't it?
:'''Jessica''': No, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon asks for halibut in the Blue kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': Where is the fucking halibut?!
:'''Ray''': Coming up chef.
:'''Zach''': Come on, guys! Push it!
:'''Anthony''': (to Ray) Let's go, come on. Get those up.
:'''Narrator''': Ray hurries to deliver his third attempt at the same order of fish.
:'''Gordon''': WHERE IS IT?!
:'''Ray''': (to Dan) Bring that up.
:'''Dan''': Got it right here, chef. ''[brings Ray's halibut to the pass]''
:'''Zach''': Come on, come on. Go with that, good job.
:'''Anthony''': Please be cooked. For the love of God, be cooked.
:'''Gordon''': ''[checks Ray's halibut]'' Wellington's beautifully cooked, pork's beautifully cooked.
:'''Anthony''': Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon''': But I have a problem. ''[returns to the workstation]'' I have a big fucking problem. '''YES, I DO!!!''' ''[angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]'' '''MAN!!!'''
:'''Ray''': Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': '''THIS IS RAW!!!'''
:'''Zach''': Oh, my God!
:'''Anthony''': Oh, fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': '''THIS IS RAW!!!'''
:'''Zach''': (interview) Not again! Dammit! This can't be happening! (to Ray) Come on, Ray!
:'''Gordon''': '''IT'S JUST RAW!!!''' ''[angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]''
:'''Michael''': (to Ray) Get three more going. Get three more going. Put them in the oven.
:'''Gordon''': '''IT'S FUCKED!!!'''
:'''Zach''': (interview) We're going down in flames! ''Titanic'' ain't got shit on us!
:'''Gordon''': '''I'M DONE!!!''' ''(points to every member of the Blue team)'' You, you, you, you, you, you, '''GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!'''
:'''Anthony''': (interview) I was doing good, dammit.
(The blue team head to the dorm)
:'''Ray''': Did I not say that we're done? I will let you fucking know when you fucking keep leaving in it. (interview) Dan, just leave it alone. I had it fucking perfect.
:'''James''': (Storms into the blue team's dorm with raw halibut) Hey, where are you guys?! 
:'''Jon''': Right here, Chef!
:'''James''': I spent 18 hours with you guys today, I give you everything I got, and that's the bullshit you're going to give me in front of Chef Ramsay?! Make me look like a dickhead in a dining room full of people! I'm beside myself right now with that! I can't look at you guys anymore!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks and slices a pork brought up by Mary]''
:'''Gordon''': That's raw. ''(returns to the workstation and throws his spoon away; shows the raw pork to the Red team)''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Oh, my fucking God!
:'''Gordon''': COME HERE, ALL OF YOU!
:'''Mary''': God.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, kept me waiting 28 minutes for raw pork. ''(points to every member of the Red team)'' You, you, you, you, you, you, you, ''(slams the tray on the workstation)'' '''GET OUT!!! DISASTER!!! GET OUT!!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon has called both teams downstairs after kicking them out of service]''
:'''Gordon''': Stay there! Stay there! We're not done yet! Sous chefs and I are still cooking in there. There's no winning team, you both lost! Think of two individuals from each team that you want rid of! Fuck off upstairs! ''(returns to the kitchen)'' Unbelievable!

=== Episode Seven [11.7] ===

''[Episode picks up where the last episode left off at an elimination where four chiefs have given Chef Ramsay their jackets, but haven't been sent out the door as Ramsay has about to do something he's never done before]''
:'''Gordon''': All four of you are now on probation! Go, back in line!
:'''Ray''': Thank you Chef.
:'''Mary''': Thank you Chef.
:'''Gordon''': Don't thank me yet, and here's why: Each and every one of you, will have to earn your jacket back by the end of the next dinner service, and if you don't: (Gordon makes a swipe motion with his hand past his neck) you're history! ''Piss off!''
(Both the red and blue teams leave to head back to the dorms, as Chef Ramsay looks on, shaking his head)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[After the Blue team finally won a challenge]''
:'''Dan''': (Interview) About time! And the best part is: Look what I got! (Holds up his chef jacket up as he is now off probation, and heckles)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Barret]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you, come here.
:'''Barret''': (interview) Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': ''(points to a table of senior women)'' See those six glamourous ladies, slightly older? Yeah. And look.
:'''Barret''': Oh.
:'''Dan''': Oh, my God!
:'''Gordon''': ''(gets a parchment paper from a halibut)'' The paper.
:'''Jon''': (to Barret) You left the parchment on there, man?
:'''Zach''': (interview) What, you trying to kill people? By the time you swallow it, it's too late. You're on the floor with Jean-Philippe doing CPR on you. ''[scoffs]'' Who the fuck want that?
:'''Gordon''': (quietly to Barret) Hey, come here you. It's not a fucking joke. You should be ashamed.
:'''Barret''': I am. I am ashamed. (interview) Tonight of all nights, I'm just praying that we didn't lose the dinner service.
:'''Gordon''': Paper to a senior! ''[crosses to the Red kitchen out of disgust]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': While Barret starts over on the fish, in the Red kitchen, the women are very excited.
:'''Susan''': Our last ticket!
:'''Narrator''': To be closing in on the finish line.
:'''Susan''': We got this!
:'''Gordon''': Hey!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Shut the fuck up! High-fiving each other, last ticket, it's the same fucking ticket!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': When Jessica first arrived, I had high expectations for her. Unfortunately, she let us both down.

=== Episode Eight [11.8] ===

''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Jacqueline]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, Jesus. They're rubber. Scallops are overcooked! Rubber, look at that one. Just touch that one there. Just touch it there! Come on, get me some more in there!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': You've got the easiest appetiser!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef. (interview) Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, fuck you!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Okay? ''(returns a tray of appetizers to the workstation)'' Hey, fuck you all! Cold pizza, cold fish and chips, refire urgently!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on pizza brought up by Dan]''
:'''Gordon''': That's burned. (returns to the workstation) Fuck you all! ''[knocks the workstation]'' Damn! Come here, all of you! Come on! Hey look, there's no garnish around there and that's the biggest bit. Look at that there.
:'''Dan''': Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': (raises the pizza and drops it) For kids, and kids, fucking kids!
:'''Jon''': (interview) Dan is like a monkey wrench in a machine. You're killing me, man!
:'''Gordon''': Start again and get it together!
:'''Blue team''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on cheeseburger brought up by Ray]''
:'''Gordon''': Stone-cold. Hey, all of you. (points to Ray) You first, fuck-wit! Come here!
:'''Ray''': Oh, fuck! (interview) No, this can't be happening.
:'''Gordon''': Just touch that. Just touch the burger.
:'''Ray''': Oh, it's fucked, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[angrily throws the burger on the workstation]'' Whose table is that?
:'''Anthony''': (interview) A cold cheeseburger. How the hell does something like that happen?!
:'''Gordon''': That's my family.
:'''Dan''': (interview) He just brought a perfect storm our way. Thanks, dude.
:'''Gordon''': At this stage of the game, I don't expect the &quot;I'm sorry!&quot; '''IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!''' ''[knocks his hand on the workstation]'' '''IT'S FUCKED!!'''
:'''Ray''': I have another one chef.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Get it together, man. A cold burger?
:'''Gordon''': (to Ray) Hey, you have the audacity to send that to my son! I wouldn't do that to your family!
:'''Ray''': Totally my fault, chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on chicken brought up by Barret]''
:'''Gordon''': I've got raw chicken here.
:'''James Avery''': And it's for my wife.
:'''Gordon''': ''[returns the chicken to the workstation]'' '''HEY!''' For Chef James's wife, pink chicken.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Raw fish, people can survive it. Under-cooked meat, cook it more it's like not going to kill you, but fucking raw chicken will fucking kill you.
:'''Gordon''': Chef James's wife is pregnant.
:'''Mary''': Oh, my gosh.
:'''Barret''': (interview) I can't even look at Chef James in the eyes. He's like a freaking triple black belt in Taekwondo. This dude will probably fuck me up right now.
:'''Gordon''': My family and James's family. Red Team, take over! Let's go! Move!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!

=== Episode Nine [11.9] ===

''[Gordon notices the Red team not cooking any entrées]''
:'''Gordon''': Hey, pedicure, manicure! How long?
:'''Jacqueline''': I am waiting for Susan!
:'''Gordon''': No, you fucked you! She's (Susan) slicing the prime rib! And you just stopped the whole fucking kitchen. ''(calls the Red team to the pass)'' All of you! ''(calls Susan in the dining room)'' SUSAN!
:'''Susan''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': '''COME HERE, YOU!'''
:'''Susan''': (interview) I know everyone keeps saying, &quot;Jacqueline is an amazing chef, she's so strong.&quot; (to Gordon) Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': You just stopped sending entrées, (to Susan) did you tell her (Jacqueline) to stop?
:'''Susan''': No.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, really?!
:'''Susan''': (interview) But if you can't perform with the lights turned on, then it's worthless.
:'''Gordon''': We are now stopped being serving meat that we're dying for. (to Jacqueline) Have you heard of anything so fucking stupid?!
:'''Jacqueline''': No.
:'''Gordon''': The less you give me your best, go home! OVER!
:'''Jacqueline''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Get it together. Have a little meeting.
:'''Susan''': I know what table is next. If I need to rush, I could rush.
:'''Jacqueline''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': '''HURRY UP!!'''
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Susan''': Let's go, guys.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks and slices a New York strip brought up by Ray]''
:'''Gordon''': They're fucking raw. Fuck off. (to the Blue team) Hey, raw New York!
:'''Ray''': Oh, fuck me. (interview) Oh, my God. He just can't catch a break.
:'''Gordon''': (to Ray) Come here, you. Just fucking come here! Who cooked it?
:'''Ray''': I---.
:'''Gordon''': '''ANSWER!!!'''
:'''Ray''': I did, chef. I cooked it. I'll take it. I did, chef.
:'''Gordon''': This is where it goes so fucking badly! It's not even red in there!
:'''Ray''': I understand, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Two of you on the section! ''[knocks his hand on the workstation]'' Do you have any fight left?!
:'''Anthony''': Michael, make another one!
:'''Michael Langdon''': I'm going to cook. I'm going to cook.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Ray, Michael. Pull your heads out of your asses and cook the fucking meat!
:'''Ray''': Here, I got the fucking New York strip, okay?
:'''Michael Langdon''': I got it on.
:'''Ray''': Don't rush the steaks.
:'''Michael Langdon''': (interview) Ray, please stop talking. Let me fucking cook the meat. I got it.
:'''Gordon''': How long for that New York strip?
:'''Michael Langdon''': Three and a half, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck! Take the table back. Oh, fuck me. ''(gives the tray of entrées to Ray)'' Ray, hey. Fuck off. Take that. Take it. A fucking joke!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on filet mignon brought up by Amanda]''
:'''Gordon''': Raw, raw, fucking raw. ''[returns to the workstation]'' Oh, fucking hell!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Fuck my life!
:'''Gordon''': Raw filet! The easiest to cook, the most glamourous, the most in demand, cold and raw!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': (interview) Jacqueline says it's good, I trusted her, and they're raw.
:'''Gordon''': Raw in the middle! Hey, Amanda! It's not sushi night, it's steak night!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on filet mignon brought up by Jacqueline]''
:'''Gordon''': It's raw now. Now they're taking the piss. ''(returns to the workstation and repeatedly knocks it)'' What is it for the second fucking time?!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': It's fucking raw, chef.
:'''Gordon''': That's right! It's fucking raw!! ''(throws a filet on the workstation)''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': I have two more in the oven.
:'''Gordon''': ''(points to Amanda, Jacqueline, Nedra and Cyndi)'' You, you, you, you! '''FUCK OFF, ALL FOUR OF YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT!!'''

=== Episode Ten [11.10] ===
:''[Gordon checks the tuna is about to be served for the Quinceañera celebrant; found out it was cold]''
:'''Gordon''': You are kidding me, ice cold! HEY! ALL OF YOU COME HERE, HURRY UP! ''[returns the tuna at the workstation; then knocks twice on the counter]'' JUST TOUCH THAT! TOUCH THAT YOUR FINGERS.
:'''Ja'Nel''': Stone-cold.
:'''Gordon''': '''IT'S SAYING ICE COLD!'''
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': Something is so easy! WHO SEARED IT?
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Nedra seared it. (cuts off to Nedra when she blinks her eyes)
:'''Nedra''': I-- (interview) Fuck you, Amanda! You skate on thin ice! It's not the one I seared.
:'''Gordon''': ''[drops the tuna onto the workstation]'' Fucking hell! (throws a spoon away) I STOOD AWAY TO GO! A PIECE OF FISH THAT BIG THAT CAN'T BE SEARED! SHIT! (knocks over the workstation twice)
:'''Nedra''': Chef, I need take four--
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Nedra seared it, chef. I got it.
:'''Gordon''': (rekindles Amanda) &quot;Nedra seared it, I got it.&quot; (throws a spoon with a disappointment)
:'''Amanda Giblin''': (interview) Back off the station, I have it!
:'''Amanda Giblin''': Chef, it was a poor mistake I'm trying to fix right now.
:'''Nedra''': Fucking bitch!

=== Episode Eleven [11.11] ===

=== Episode Twelve [11.12] ===

:'''Gordon:''' We're firing apps brilliantly, and now we're gonna start firing entrées.
:'''Anthony:''' Heard that, Chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay? First table away. Don't fall behind!
:'''Anthony:''' Absolutely.
:'''Blue team:''' Yes, Chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Red team, away now: one New York strip, one branzino. They go with the Blue team at the exact same time, yes?
:'''Red team:''' Yes, Chef!
:'''Gordon:''' Zach, one pork, one filet.
:'''Zach:''' I'm ready now, one minute!
:'''Gordon:''' Hey, come here, you fuckface. This is where he doesn't understand jack shit. &quot;I'm ready now, one minute.&quot; And yet the Red team need a bit of fucking time. ''[points to the Red Team]'' I wouldn't let them do that to you, so why are you doing that to them?
:'''Zach:''' Um, Chef, three minutes?
:'''Gordon:''' What'd you think? We started off with what? ''[holds his hand up]''
:'''Zach:''' Five.
:'''Gordon:''' Thank you.
:'''Zach:''' (interview) Unbelievable. Let me just keep my mouth shut. Yes, Chef!
:'''Gordon:''' Is that clear now?
:'''Zach:''' Yes, that's very clear!
:'''Gordon:''' I appreciate that!
:'''Zach:''' Thank you, Chef.
:'''Gordon:''' That's why I called you &quot;fuckface!&quot;
:'''Zach:''' Not a problem, Chef!
:'''Gordon:''' Because you're fucking them (the Red team) and you're fucking me!
:'''Zach:''' I don't wanna fuck anybody!
:'''Gordon:''' Thank you!
:'''Zach:''' Thank you! (interview) Did I just have a conversation with Chef Ramsay about fucking? ''[cuts to Zach in the kitchen, grinning]'' Yes, I did.

=== Episode Thirteen [11.13] ===

''[Continuing from the last episode, the red team drew a name out of a hat for which member to move to the blue team instead of deliberating.]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you, head back to the red fucking kitchen and spend two minutes and decide amongst you! Hurry up! I didn't ask you to stick it in a fucking hat like some fucking game show! What is this?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Ja'Nel]''
:'''Gordon''': They're overcooked. No, no, no, no, no.
:'''Andi''': Oh, shit.
:'''Susan''': Yeah, we're moving. We got this.
:'''Gordon''': We're not fucking moving and yet you haven't got anything. What is that shit?
:'''Ja'Nel''': I'll do it again, chef. I'm sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Look at them. Just touch them. That is disgusting!
:'''Ja'Nel''': (interview) This is my worst nightmare. Fuck!
:'''Gordon''': I cannot believe you done that! What is happening in here?! (points to Susan) She's cooking four risottos, we need two (points to Ja'Nel) and you're bastardising scallops! I'll reduce the menu, I'll pull down the appetisers, pull down the entrées for you to shine!
:'''Susan''': (interview) Ja'Nel is dronwning at this point. You are dragging the team down.
:'''Gordon''': WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!
:'''Mary''': (interview) I just want to slap her. Ja'Nel, wake up! Come on! You're so much better than this!
:'''Gordon''': Get a grip!
:'''Ja'Nel''': Yes, chef.
:'''Susan''': (to Ja'Nel) Go get it, chef. You'll get better, chef.
:'''Ja'Nel''': Give me two minutes on those scallops.
:'''Susan''': We got this. We're good.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;We got this&quot;? Fucking hell. She (Ja'Nel) can't even cook a scallop.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Nedra!
:'''Nedra''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': Why can't you do the cold? (to Zach) Why did she drop ''[the pasta]'' that?
:'''Zach''': She said she don't need any help.
:'''Gordon''': My worry is the slowness.
:'''Nedra''': (interview) Chef, just watch how to let me fucking do this, I don't need no help!
:'''Gordon''': If I was in the Blue team, I'd have her off the fucking appetisers, I'll put her on the garnish, and someone with a pair of balls could step up and take over that fucking mess! (to the Blue team; goes to Nedra's station) All of you, come here! Just look! Just look at the fucking mess in here! The shit, the disarray, the disorganisation and look, ''[gets a basket of pasta on Nedra's station]'' look, look. '''LOOK AT THE MESS!!'''
:'''Nedra''': YES, CHEF! I'M GOING TO GET IT TOGETHER!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Jon]''
:'''Gordon''': This is a joke. They're not seared! (returns to the workstation) All of you, come here! Quick!
:'''Jon''': Are you serious?
:'''Gordon''': Like mush. Mush, mush, MUSH! (knocks his hand on the workstation) It's just a fucking joke!
:'''Anthony''': Fuck! (interview) God, are you kidding me? We can't even get past hot apps this late of the competition? God, it's humiliating!
:'''Gordon''': Yet again, we're fucking struggling! I'm putting the gas, I'm turning the engine, I'm driving every fucking table! I'M DONE!!
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Please, don't let this be happening again.
:'''Gordon''': (points to every member of the Blue team) Listen, listen, listen, listen! Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! GET OUT! GET OUT! Idiots!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Ja'Nel; finds that it's raw]''
:'''Mary''': There's going to be--.
:'''Gordon''': (interrupting Mary) No, it's not four minutes, come here! It's sushi time! Just touch that. I don't know what you're doing now. Do you know who this is for?
:'''Cyndi''': The VIP, chef.
:'''Ja'Nel''': (Interview) The one VIP in the house and I'm fucking ruining it. (to Gordon) Sorry, chef. (Interview) I hope this is a bad dream. I mean someone pinch me, slap me, shake me out of this hell hole that I'm in right now.
:'''Gordon''': I'm done! (points to every member of the Red team) YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU! '''FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE!!'''
:'''Cyndi''': Fuck me!
:'''Gordon''': '''GET OUT!''' (to Cyndi) Hey! Excuse me, madam!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef!
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Fuck me&quot;?! How about &quot;FUCK YOU&quot;?!
:'''Cyndi''': (interview) How are we making these stupid mistakes?
:'''Gordon''': I'm done! '''FUCK OFF! OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Nedra wore a red jacket and a blue jacket, but after tonight's performance, I knew that she wouldn't be wearing a black jacket.

=== Episode Fourteen [11.14] ===

=== Episode Fifteen [11.15] ===

:''[8:33PM]''
:'''Narrator''': It's two and a half hours into dinner service and all of the red diners have been fed. But thanks to Zach's careless performance...
:'''Gordon''': Is that lamb-- (sees that it's overcooked) Oh, please! Does that not look like it's overcooked? Hey, you! Hey, fuck-face!
:'''Narrator''': ...the men are struggling with the two remaining tickets and all eyes are on Zach's lamb.
:'''Gordon''': Looks like elephant shit from here!
:'''Zach''': I understand, chef. I'm just waiting for the fish.
:'''Gordon''': You fucking give me one more excuse, I swear to God, take your jacket and fuck off out of here!
:'''Zach''': I'm sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Stop making excuses!
:'''Zach''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Two lamb, one wellington, one bass. How long? (Zach doesn't answer; goes over to Zach's station) Put it down, I can do the rest. You can fuck off, Zach.
:'''Anthony''': (interview) Chef Ramsay has just had it. He comes in and says &quot;You know what, Zach? I'm going to work your station now.&quot;
:'''Zach''': Chef, you're going to put it fat side down first?
:'''Gordon''': Now he's asking me stupid questions. &quot;Hey, chef, can I brush my teeth? Hey, chef, uh...can I change my pants?&quot; One mistake and he's so frazzled.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

''[After Anthony has been eliminated]''
:'''Gordon''': Zach, come here! (Zach walks up to Chef Ramsay as the women and Jon look on in awe)(Pause) Do your jacket up! I'm watching you closely, Back in line!

=== Episode Sixteen [11.16] ===

''[Gordon checks on lobster brought up by Cyndi]''
:'''Gordon''': Cyndi? Hey all of you, come here. Come here! Just touch that. Touch that lobster. When it's something so curly like that, what does it mean?
:'''Susan''': Overcooked, chef.
:'''Gordon''': So it fucking ''(throws the lobster hard against the wall)'' bounces off the fucking wall!
:'''Susan''': (interview) Did that just happened?! It is black jackets time, we could not be making these stupid mistakes.
:'''Gordon''': Can I have a poached lobster?!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Pick that [the lobster] up.
:'''Mary''': Yes, chef.
:'''Susan''': Come on, ladies. Pick it up!
:'''Mary''': (to Cyndi) Do you need some help, Cynd?
:'''Gordon''': What's the matter with you?!
:'''Cyndi''': I got it. I'm bouncing back chef. I'm bouncing back right now.
:'''Gordon''': Jesus Christ.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[Mary brings Cyndi's lobster to the pass, Gordon checks it]''
:'''Gordon''': Now, it's raw. Just stone-fucking-cold. Hey all of you, come here!
:'''Mary''': Oh, crap!
:'''Gordon''': Now, the lobster is raw!
:'''Mary''': Ugh!
:'''Gordon''': (to Cyndi) Come here you! Just touch that. You know it's wrong, it's stone-cold! First one was rubber, now this is ice-cold!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': ''[leads the Red team to the pantry]'' Come here you. All three of you, come here! (to Sous-chef Andi) Andi, take over! SUSAN!
:'''Susan''': Yes-- I'm coming! I'm coming chef!
:'''Gordon''': Get in here!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!
:'''Mary''': Come on!
:'''Gordon''': ''[angrily slams the door]'' What's happening?! What's the matter with you?!
:'''Mary''': (interview) I have never been in the pantry with Chef and it's never a good thing when he takes you back there.
:'''Gordon''': You've got to get a standard inside you! You're screwing the Red team!
:'''Cyndi''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': I'd rather slow down and increase the standard than sending me shit!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': WAKE UP! All of you!
:'''Red team''': Yes, chef!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': There once was a chef named Zach,
:For words he didn't lack.
:But in the kitchen, he was no magician,
:And he won't be coming back.

=== Episode Seventeen [11.17] ===

=== Episode Eighteen [11.18] ===

=== Episode Nineteen [11.19] ===

''[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Ja'Nel]''
:'''Gordon''': All of you. ALL OF YOU! ''[points to Ja'Nel]'' Hey, I mean you.
:'''Ja'Nel''': No, chef. I'm sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, come here you. Taste that.
:'''Mary''': (interview) Ugh! It's disgusting!
:'''Gordon''': Come here. All of you, come here. ''[leads the Final five to the back counter; points to [[w:Antonio Sabàto, Jr.|Antonio Sabàto, Jr.]] at the Chef's Table]'' We have a VIP guest in the fucking kitchen. What is that? IT'S MUSH! ABSOLUTE MUSH!! What is happening?!
:'''Ja'Nel''': (interview) I can't believe it. It's just really embarrassing.
:'''Gordon''': Get a grip now!
:'''Final Five''': Yes, chef!
:'''Ja'Nel''': Sorry, chef.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Here we go. Two covers, Table 21: two mussels, entrée: one halibut, one New York Strip.
:'''Final Five''': Yes, chef!
:'''Susan''': Two minutes on this order: one halibut, one New York!
:'''Jon''': Three minutes, heard.
:'''Gordon''': Who called? What's she yelling about? Susan called out halibut, New York steak and we haven't sent out the appetisers. What's going, Susan?
:'''Susan''': Right now, we have one halibut, and one New York!
:'''Gordon''': Hey, all of you, come here! Stop what you're doing, all of you. She's firing entrées, one halibut, one New York strip. FYI, dumbo, we haven't even sent the appetisers!
:'''Mary''': (interview) What is Susan thinking right now? Like, what are you thinking Susan?
:'''Gordon''': Is the ticket crossed out?
:'''Final Five''': No, chef.
:'''Gordon''': What are you doing to them?
:'''Susan''': We fired that ticket, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Who's &quot;we&quot;?! I didn't!
:'''Antonio Sabato Jr.''': She's screwed.
:'''Gordon''': All of a sudden, you're the chef, right?
:'''Susan''': No, chef! No!
:'''Gordon''': Step up. Here you go. ''(takes off his apron and gives it to Susan)'' Here you go. You fucking run it then. Here you go. Andi, leave her alone.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Susan can't even give correct times on her own station. She's running the kitchen? (sighs) We're fucked.
:'''Susan''': Sorry.
:'''Gordon''': You run it! Fuck it, there you go, run it! ''(tosses his tongs on the hotplate)'' Fucking good luck. Off you go. This is a fucking joke. Andi, fuck them! Leave them! ''(Gordon and Andi walk out of the kitchen)'' Pathetic!

=== Episode Twenty [11.20] ===

=== Episode Twenty One (Two Hour Finale) [11.21] ===

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia|Hell's Kitchen (U.S. season 11)}}
* {{IMDb title|0437005}}
[[Category:Hell's Kitchen seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>6mzhe36d74ugcz81aqt4xmgg86pui2s</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Pope Francis</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>142953</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149107</id>
      <parentid>3118425</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T20:32:50Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Joreberg</username>
        <id>323041</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* 2022 */ God does not want us to be slaves, but sons and daughters.</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="108954" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Canonization 2014-The Canonization of Saint John XXIII and Saint John Paul II (14036966125).jpg|thumb|[[God|The Lord]] has [[redeemed]] [[all]] of us, all of us, with the [[Blood]] of [[Jesus|Christ]]: all of us, not just [[Catholics]]. Everyone!]]
'''[[w:Pope Francis|Pope Francis]]''' (born '''Jorge Mario Bergoglio''' on [[17 December]] [[1936]]) is the head of the [[w:Catholic Church|Catholic Church]] and sovereign of the [[w:Vatican City State|Vatican City State]] since 2013. Francis is the first [[w:pope|pope]] to be a member of the [[w:Society of Jesus|Society of Jesus]], the first from the [[w:Americas|Americas]], the first from the [[w:Southern Hemisphere|Southern Hemisphere]], and the first pope from outside Europe since [[w:Pope Gregory III|Gregory III]], a Syrian who reigned in the 8th century.

Born in [[w:Buenos Aires|Buenos Aires]], [[w:Argentina|Argentina]], as the son of Italian parents, Bergoglio worked briefly as a [[w:chemical technician|chemical technician]] and [[w:Bouncer (doorman)|nightclub bouncer]] before entering the [[w:seminary|seminary]]. He was ordained a [[w:Catholic priest|priest]] in 1969, and from 1973 to 1979 was Argentina's [[w:Provincial superior|Provincial Superior]] of the [[w:Society of Jesus|Society of Jesus]]. On being elected Pope on 13 March 2013, he chose the papal [[name]] ''Francis'' in honor of [[Saint]] [[Francis of Assisi]].
[[File:Card. Jorge Bergoglio SJ, 2008.jpg|thumb|The unjust distribution of goods persists, creating a situation of social [[sin]] that cries out to [[Heaven]] and limits the possibilities of a fuller [[life]] for so many of our brothers.]]
Francis maintains the traditional views of the Church regarding [[w:Abortion and the Catholic Church|abortion]], [[w:Clerical celibacy (Catholic Church)|clerical celibacy]], and the [[w:Ordination of women and the Catholic Church|ordination of women]], but has initiated dialogue on the possibility of [[w:deaconess|deaconess]]es and has made women full members of [[w:dicasteries|dicasteries]] in the [[w:Roman Curia|Roman Curia]]. He maintains that the Church should be more open and welcoming for members of the [[w:LGBT community|LGBT community]], and favors [[w:Civil union|legal recognition of same-sex couples]]. Francis is an outspoken critic of unbridled [[capitalism]] and free market economics, [[consumerism]], and [[w:overdevelopment|overdevelopment]], and advocates taking action on [[climate change]], a focus of his papacy with the promulgation of ''[[w:Laudato si'|Laudato si']]''. In international diplomacy, he helped to restore [[w:United States–Cuban Thaw|full diplomatic relations between the United States and Cuba]] and [[w:Theology of Pope Francis#Refugees and migrants|supported the cause of refugees]] during the [[w:European migrant crisis|European]] and [[w:Central American migrant caravans|Central American migrant]] crises.

==Quotes==
[[File:Francis Inauguration fc10.jpg|thumb|The [[Church]] is defending the “place” through which the [[gift]] of the [[life]] of [[God]] passes on to the [[world]] and the gift of the life of the world to God.]]
[[File:Pope Francis among the people at St. Peter's Square - 12 May 2013.jpg|thumb|[[Human rights]] are not only violated by [[terrorism]], repression or [[assassination]], but also by unfair [[economic]] structures that creates huge inequalities.]]
[[File:Pope Francis in March 2013.jpg|thumb|right|This is what I want, a poor [[Church]] for the poor.]]
===2000s===
====2007====
* '''The unjust distribution of goods persists, creating a situation of social [[sin]] that cries out to [[Heaven]] and limits the possibilities of a fuller [[life]] for so many of our brothers.'''
** Said during a gathering of Latin American bishops, as quoted in [http://ncronline.org/news/celam-update-option-poor-alive-and-well-latin-america 'Option for the Poor' alive and well in Latin America, ''National Catholic Reporter'' (21 May 2007)]

====2008====
* ''El cristiano ve a la Iglesia como Cuerpo de Cristo, como el recipiente que guarda íntegro el depósito de la fe, como la Esposa fiel que comunica sin mengua ni falta todo lo que Cristo le dejó como encargo … La Iglesia como realidad “santificada” plenamente y capaz de recibir y de comunicar — sin errores ni carencias, desde su propia pobreza y aun con sus pecados — toda la santidad de Dios, no es un “complemento” o un “agregado institucional” a Jesucristo, sino participación plena de su Encarnación, de su Vida, de su Pasión, muerte y Resurrección. … Al defender su pureza, su indefectibilidad, su santidad de Esposa, la Iglesia está defendiendo el “lugar” por donde pasa el Don la Vida de Dios al mundo y el don de la vida del mundo a Dios. Este don – cuya expresión más plena es la Eucaristía – no es un don más entre otros sino del don total de la Vida más íntima de la Trinidad que se derrama para la vida del mundo y la vida del mundo asumida por el Hijo que se ofrece al Padre.''
** '''The Christian sees the Church as the Body of Christ, as the vessel that guards with absolute [[integrity]] the deposit of [[faith]], as the faithful Spouse who communicates without addition or subtraction all that Christ entrusted.''' … The Church as a fully “sanctified” reality and capable of receiving and of communicating – without error or defect, from its own poverty and even with its own sins — the full sanctity of God, is not a “complement” or an “institutional addition” to Jesus Christ, but a full participation of his Incarnation, of His Life, of His Passion, death and Resurrection. … In defending its purity, its indefectibility, its sanctity as the bride, the Church is defending the “place” through which the gift of the life of God passes on to the world and the gift of the life of the world to God. This gift – the fullest expression of which is the [[w:Eucharist|Eucharist]] – is not another gift among ourselves but the supreme gift of the most intimate life of the Trinity that poured forth for the life of the world and the life of the world assumed by the Son that is offered to the Father.
*** [http://www.arzbaires.org.ar/inicio/homilias/homilias2008.htm#49%BACongresoEucar%EDsticoInternacional Catechesis] &lt;small&gt;([http://jmgarciaiii.blogspot.pt/2008/09/this-is-catechesis-of-his-eminence.html English translation])&lt;/small&gt; given by Bergoglio at the [[:w:Eucharistic_Congress#49th_International_Eucharistic_Congress.2C_Quebec_City|49th International Eucharistic Congress]], in Quebec (18 July 2008)

===2010s===
* '''[[Human rights]] are not only violated by [[terrorism]], repression or [[assassination]], but also by unfair [[economic]] structures that creates huge inequalities.'''
** Said in criticism of the government of [[w:Néstor Kirchner|Néstor Kirchner]], former President of Argentina, in 2009, as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/mar/13/jorge-mario-bergoglio-pope-poverty &quot;Pope Francis: the humble pontiff with practical approach to poverty&quot; by Mark Rice-Oxley, in ''The Guardian'' (13 March 2013)]

*&lt;p&gt;''Está en juego la vida de tantos niños que serán discriminados de antemano privándolos de la maduración humana que Dios quiso se diera con un padre y una madre. Está en juego un rechazo frontal a la ley de Dios, grabada además en nuestros corazones.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Recuerdo una frase de Santa Teresita cuando habla de su enfermedad de infancia. Dice que la envidia del Demonio quiso cobrarse en su familia la entrada al Carmelo de su hermana mayor. Aquí también está la envida del Demonio, por la que entró el pecado en el mundo, que arteramente pretende destruir la imagen de Dios: hombre y mujer que reciben el mandato de crecer, multiplicarse y dominar la tierra. No seamos ingenuos: no se trata de una simple lucha política; es la pretensión destructiva al plan de Dios. No se trata de un mero proyecto legislativo (éste es sólo el instrumento) sino de una “movida” del padre de la mentira que pretende confundir y engañar a los hijos de Dios.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Jesús nos dice que, para defendernos de este acusador mentiroso, nos enviará el Espíritu de Verdad.''&lt;/p&gt;
** Letter to nuns of Buenos Aires, regarding a bill allowing same-sex couples to marry and adopt children in Argentina (6 July 2010), as quoted in [http://archive.is/TM6x6 &quot;Nuevo papa Francisco I se pronunció en 2010 contra el matrimonio gay&quot; in ''Globovision'' (13 March 2013)]
** At stake are the lives of many [[children]] who will be discriminated against in advance, and deprived of their human development given by a father and a mother and willed by [[God]]. At stake is the total rejection of God's [[law]] engraved in our [[hearts]]. … Let us not be naive: this is not simply a political struggle, but it is an attempt to destroy God's plan. It is not just a bill (a mere instrument) but a &quot;move&quot; of the father of lies who seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God.
*** As quoted in [http://www.ncregister.com/blog/edward-pentin/cardinal_bergoglio_hits_out_at_same-sex_marriage  &quot;Cardinal Bergoglio Hits Out at Same-Sex Marriage&quot; in ''The National Catholic Register'' (8 July 2010)]
** Variant translation: Let's not be naïve, we're not talking about a simple political battle; it is a destructive pretension against the plan of God. We are not talking about a mere bill, but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God.
*** As quoted in [http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2013/03/is-there-hope-for-francis-on-gay-rights.html &quot;Is there hope for Francis on gay rights?&quot; by Richard Socarides, in ''The New Yorker'' (14 March 2013)]

====2013====
[[File:Coat of arms of Franciscus.svg|thumb|If we, each doing our own part, if we do [[good]] to others, if we meet there, doing good, and we go slowly, gently, little by little, we will make that [[culture]] of encounter: we [[need]] that so much. We must meet one another doing good.]]
[[File:Franciscus kotel.jpg|thumb|We all have a [[duty]] to do [[good]]. And this commandment for everyone to do good, I think, is a [[beautiful]] path towards [[peace]].]]
[[File:LuMaxArt_Golden_Family_With_World_Religions.jpg|thumb|right|This is important: to get to know [[people]], listen, expand the [[circle]] of [[ideas]]. The [[world]] is crisscrossed by roads that come closer together and move apart, but the important thing is that they lead towards the [[Good]].]]

* '''This is what I want, a poor Church for the poor.'''
** First audience at the [[Vatican]], as quoted in [http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/03/16/17336851-pope-francis-describes-wish-for-poor-church-for-the-poor?lite Pope Francis describes wish for 'poor church for the poor'], ''NBC News'', (16 March 2013)

* '''The Lord created us in His image and likeness, and we are the image of the Lord, and He does [[good]] and all of us have this commandment at heart: do good and do not do [[evil]]. [[All]] of us.''' &quot;But, Father, this is not Catholic! He cannot do good.&quot; '''Yes, he can. He must. Not can: must! Because he has this commandment within him.''' Instead, this &quot;closing off&quot; that imagines that those outside, everyone, cannot do good is a wall that leads to war and also to what some people throughout history have conceived of: killing in the name of God. That we can kill in the name of God. And that, simply, is [[blasphemy]]. To say that you can kill in the name of God is blasphemy.
** As quoted in [http://en.radiovaticana.va/news/2013/05/22/pope_at_mass:_culture_of_encounter_is_the_foundation_of_peace/en1-694445 &quot;Pope at Mass: Culture of encounter is the foundation of peace&quot; at ''Vatican Radio'' (22 May 2013)]

* '''The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone!''' &quot;Father, the [[atheists]]?&quot; Even the atheists. Everyone! And this Blood makes us [[children]] of God of the first class! We are created children in the likeness of God and the Blood of Christ has redeemed us all! And '''we all have a duty to do good. And this commandment for everyone to do good, I think, is a beautiful path towards [[peace]]. If we, each doing our own part, if we do good to others, if we meet there, doing good, and we go slowly, gently, little by little, we will make that culture of encounter: we need that so much. We must meet one another doing good. &quot;But I don’t [[believe]], Father, I am an atheist!&quot; But do good: we will meet one another there.'''
** As quoted in &quot;Pope at Mass: Culture of encounter is the foundation of peace&quot; at ''Vatican Radio'' (22 May 2013)

* You ask me if the God of the Christians forgives those who don’t believe and who don’t seek the faith. I start by saying — and this is the fundamental thing — that '''God’s mercy has no limits if you go to him with a sincere and contrite heart. The issue for those who do not believe in God is to obey their [[conscience]].'''
** As quoted in [http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/pope-smiles-on-godless &quot;Leading Atheist: Pope Francis “Is The Kind Of World Leader We Need”&quot;] by Joe Keohane, at ''Esquire'' (12 September 2013)

* '''The [[Marxist]] ideology is wrong. But I have met many Marxists in my life who are good people, so I don’t feel offended. … The promise was that when the glass was full, it would overflow, benefiting the poor. But what happens instead, is that when the glass is full, it magically gets bigger (and) nothing ever comes out for the poor.''' This was the only reference to a specific theory. I was not, I repeat, speaking from a technical point of view but according to the church’s social doctrine. This does not mean being a Marxist.
** Response to critics who have called him a Marxist, because of his criticism of capitalist theories in [http://world.time.com/2013/12/15/pope-francis-im-not-a-marxist/ &quot;Pope Francis: I’m Not a Marxist&quot; in ''TIME'' magazine (15 December 2013)]

=====Interview in ''La Repubblica''=====
:&lt;small&gt;Interviewed in [http://www.repubblica.it/cultura/2013/10/01/news/pope_s_conversation_with_scalfari_english-67643118/ &quot;How the Church will change&quot; by Eugenio Scalfari in ''La Repubblica'' (1 October 2013)], as translated from Italian to English by Kathryn Wallace&lt;/small&gt; 

* '''[[w:Proselytism|Proselytism]] is solemn [[nonsense]], it makes no sense'''. We need to get to know each other, listen to each other and improve our knowledge of the [[world]] around us. Sometimes after a meeting I want to arrange another one because new ideas are born and I discover new needs. '''This is important: to get to know people, listen, expand the circle of ideas. The world is crisscrossed by roads that come closer together and move apart, but the important thing is that they lead towards the Good'''.

* [[File:Cristo Redentor - Rio.jpg|thumb|right|The Son of [[God]] became incarnate to infuse into the [[human]] [[soul]] the feeling of brotherhood. All are brothers and all children of God]] '''The Son of God became incarnate to infuse into the human soul the feeling of brotherhood. All are brothers and all children of God'''. Abba, as he called the Father. I will show you the way, he said. Follow me and you will find the Father and you will all be his children and he will take delight in you. [[w:Agape|Agape]], the love of each one of us for the other, from the closest to the furthest, is in fact the only way that Jesus has given us to find the way of salvation and of the [[w:Beatitudes|Beatitudes]].

*[[File:Thanksgiving chapel interior.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mystics]] have been fundamental to the church. A [[religion]] without mystics is a [[philosophy]].]] '''[[Ignatius of Loyola|Ignatius]], for understandable reasons, is the [[saint]] I know better than any other. He founded our Order.''' I'd like to remind you that [[w:Carlo Maria Martini|Carlo Maria Martini]] also came from that order, someone who is very dear to me and also to you. Jesuits were and still are the leavening  not the only one but perhaps the most effective — of Catholicism: culture, teaching, missionary work, loyalty to the Pope. But '''Ignatius who founded the Society, was also a reformer and a [[mystic]]. Especially a mystic.'''

*[[File:This morning we caught a rainbow.jpg|thumb|right|I [[love]] the [[mystics]]...The mystic manages to strip himself of [[action]], of [[facts]], objectives and even the pastoral mission and rises until he reaches communion with the Beatitudes. Brief [[moments]] but which fill an entire [[life]]. ]]''' [Mystics] have been fundamental [to the church]. A religion without [[Mysticism|mystics]] is a philosophy.'''

*[[File:Arco iris circular.JPG|thumb|right|[[God]] is the [[light]] that illuminates the [[darkness]], even if it does not dissolve it, and a spark of divine light is within each of us...Our species will end but the light of God will not end and at that point it will invade [[all]] [[souls]] and it will all be in everyone.]] '''I love the [[Mysticism|mystics]]'''; [[Francis of Assisi|Francis]] also was in many aspects of his [[life]], but I do not think I have the vocation and then we must understand the deep meaning of that word. The mystic manages to strip himself of action, of facts, objectives and even the pastoral mission and rises until he reaches communion with the [[w:Beatitudes|Beatitudes]]. Brief moments but which fill an entire life.

* When the conclave elected me Pope. Before I accepted I asked if I could spend a few minutes in the room next to the one with the balcony overlooking the square. My head was completely empty and I was seized by a great anxiety. To make it go way and relax I closed my eyes and made every thought disappear, even the thought of refusing to accept the position, as the liturgical procedure allows. I closed my eyes and I no longer had any anxiety or emotion. At a certain point I was filled with a great [[light]]. It lasted a moment, but to me it seemed very long. Then the light faded, I got up suddenly and walked into the room where the cardinals were waiting and the table on which was the act of acceptance. I signed it, the Cardinal Camerlengo countersigned it and then on the balcony there was the '&quot;Habemus Papam&quot;.

* '''[St. [[Francis of Assisi|Francis]]] is [[great]] because he is everything.''' He is a man who wants to do things, wants to build, he founded an order and its rules, he is an itinerant and a missionary, a [[poet]] and a [[prophet]], he is mystical. He found [[evil]] in himself and rooted it out. He loved [[nature]], [[animals]], the blade of grass on the lawn and the [[birds]] flying in the [[sky]]. But above all he loved [[people]], [[children]], old people, [[women]]. '''He is the most shining example of that [[w:agape|agape]] we talked about earlier.'''

* '''I say that [[politics]] is the most important of the civil activities and has its own field of action, which is not that of [[religion]]'''. Political institutions are secular by definition and operate in independent spheres. All my predecessors have said the same thing, for many years at least, albeit with different accents. I believe that Catholics involved in politics carry the values of their religion within them, but have the mature awareness and expertise to implement them. The Church will never go beyond its task of expressing and disseminating its values, at least as long as I'm here.

* '''I [[believe]] in [[God]], not in a Catholic God, there is no Catholic God, there is God and I believe in [[Jesus]] [[Christ]], his incarnation.''' Jesus is my [[teacher]] and my pastor, but God, the Father, Abba, is the [[light]] and the Creator. '''This is my Being.'''

* '''God is the [[light]] that illuminates the [[darkness]], even if it does not dissolve it, and a spark of divine light is within each of us'''. In the letter I wrote to you, you will remember I said that '''our species will end but the light of God will not end and at that point it will invade [[all]] [[souls]] and it will all be in everyone.'''

* I think so-called unrestrained liberalism only makes the strong stronger and the weak weaker and excludes the most excluded. We need great freedom, no discrimination, no demagoguery and a lot of love. We need rules of conduct and also, if necessary, direct intervention from the state to correct the more intolerable inequalities.

* We will also discuss the role of women in the Church. Remember that the Church (''la chiesa'') is feminine.

* '''Transcendence remains because that light, [[all]] in everything, transcends the [[universe]] and the species it inhabits at this stage.'''

=====''[[w:Evangelii gaudium|Evangelii Gaudium]]'' · ''The Joy of the Gospel''=====
&lt;small&gt;[http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_esortazione-ap_20131124_evangelii-gaudium.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Sunset over Georgian Bay.jpg|thumb|right|Whatever is fragile, like the environment, is defenseless before the interests of a deified market, which become the only rule.]]

* Just as the commandment “Thou shalt not kill” sets a clear limit in order to safeguard the value of human life, today we also have to say “thou shalt not” to an economy of exclusion and [[economic inequality|inequality]]. Such an economy kills. How can it be that it is not a news item when an elderly homeless person dies of exposure, but it is news when the stock market loses two points? This is a case of exclusion. Can we continue to stand by when food is thrown away while people are starving? This is a case of inequality. Today everything comes under the laws of competition and the survival of the fittest, where the powerful feed upon the powerless. As a consequence, masses of people find themselves excluded and marginalized: without work, without possibilities, without any means of escape.
** Section 53

* Some people continue to defend [[w:trickle-down economics|trickle-down theories]] which assume that economic growth, encouraged by a free market, will inevitably succeed in bringing about greater justice and inclusiveness in the world. This opinion, which has never been confirmed by the facts, expresses a crude and naïve trust in the goodness of those wielding economic power and in the sacralized workings of the prevailing economic system.
** Section 54

* While the earnings of a minority are growing exponentially, so too is the gap separating the majority from the prosperity enjoyed by those happy few. This imbalance is the result of ideologies which defend the absolute autonomy of the marketplace and financial speculation. Consequently, they reject the right of states, charged with vigilance for the common good, to exercise any form of control. A new tyranny is thus born, invisible and often virtual, which unilaterally and relentlessly imposes its own laws and rules. Debt and the accumulation of interest also make it difficult for countries to realize the potential of their own economies and keep citizens from enjoying their real purchasing power. To all this we can add widespread corruption and self-serving [[tax evasion]], which have taken on worldwide dimensions. The thirst for power and possessions knows no limits. In this system, which tends to devour everything which stands in the way of increased profits, whatever is fragile, like the environment, is defenseless before the interests of a deified market, which become the only rule.
** Section 56

* Our world is being torn apart by wars and violence, and wounded by a widespread individualism which divides human beings, setting them against one another as they pursue their own well-being. In various countries, conflicts and old divisions from the past are re-emerging. I especially ask Christians in communities throughout the world to offer a radiant and attractive witness of fraternal communion. Let everyone admire how you care for one another, and how you encourage and accompany one another: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (Jn 13:35). This was Jesus’ heartfelt prayer to the Father: “That they may all be one... in us... so that the world may believe” (Jn 17:21). Beware of the temptation of jealousy! We are all in the same boat and headed to the same port! Let us ask for the grace to rejoice in the gifts of each, which belong to all.
** Section 99

* The Church acknowledges the indispensable contribution which women make to society through the sensitivity, intuition and other distinctive skill sets which they, more than men, tend to possess. I think, for example, of the special concern which women show to others, which finds a particular, even if not exclusive, expression in motherhood. I readily acknowledge that many women share pastoral responsibilities with priests, helping to guide people, families and groups and offering new contributions to theological reflection. But we need to create still broader opportunities for a more incisive female presence in the Church. Because “the feminine genius is needed in all expressions in the life of society, the presence of women must also be guaranteed in the workplace”[72] and in the various other settings where important decisions are made, both in the Church and in social structures.
** Section 103

* Today, as the Church seeks to experience a profound missionary renewal, there is a kind of preaching which falls to each of us as a daily responsibility. It has to do with bringing the Gospel to the people we meet, whether they be our neighbours or complete strangers. This is the informal preaching which takes place in the middle of a conversation, something along the lines of what a missionary does when visiting a home. Being a disciple means being constantly ready to bring the love of Jesus to others, and this can happen unexpectedly and in any place: on the street, in a city square, during work, on a journey.
** Section 127

* In this preaching, which is always respectful and gentle, the first step is personal dialogue, when the other person speaks and shares his or her joys, hopes and concerns for loved ones, or so many other heartfelt needs. Only afterwards is it possible to bring up God’s word, perhaps by reading a Bible verse or relating a story, but always keeping in mind the fundamental message: the personal love of God who became man, who gave himself up for us, who is living and who offers us his salvation and his friendship. 
** Section 128

* Dialogue is much more than the communication of a truth. It arises from the enjoyment of speaking and it enriches those who express their love for one another through the medium of words. This is an enrichment which does not consist in objects but in persons who share themselves in dialogue. A preaching which would be purely moralistic or doctrinaire, or one which turns into a lecture on biblical exegesis, detracts from this heart-to-heart communication which takes place in the homily and possesses a quasi-sacramental character: “Faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes by the preaching of Christ” (Rom 10:17).
** Section 142

* Every form of catechesis would do well to attend to the “way of beauty” (via pulchritudinis). Proclaiming Christ means showing that to believe in and to follow him is not only something right and true, but also something beautiful, capable of filling life with new splendour and profound joy, even in the midst of difficulties. Every expression of true beauty can thus be acknowledged as a path leading to an encounter with the Lord Jesus. This has nothing to do with fostering an aesthetic relativism which would downplay the inseparable bond between truth, goodness and beauty, but rather a renewed esteem for beauty as a means of touching the human heart and enabling the truth and goodness of the Risen Christ to radiate within it. If, as Saint Augustine says, we love only that which is beautiful, the incarnate Son, as the revelation of infinite beauty, is supremely lovable and draws us to himself with bonds of love. So a formation in the via pulchritudinis ought to be part of our effort to pass on the faith. Each particular Church should encourage the use of the arts in evangelization, building on the treasures of the past but also drawing upon the wide variety of contemporary expressions so as to transmit the faith in a new “language of parables”. We must be bold enough to discover new signs and new symbols, new flesh to embody and communicate the word, and different forms of beauty which are valued in different cultural settings, including those unconventional modes of beauty which may mean little to the evangelizers, yet prove particularly attractive for others.
** Section 167

* God’s heart has a special place for the poor, so much so that he himself “became poor” (2 Cor 8:9). The entire history of our redemption is marked by the presence of the poor. Salvation came to us from the “yes” uttered by a lowly maiden from a small town on the fringes of a great empire. The Saviour was born in a manger, in the midst of animals, like children of poor families; he was presented at the Temple along with two turtledoves, the offering made by those who could not afford a lamb (cf. Lk 2:24; Lev 5:7); he was raised in a home of ordinary workers and worked with his own hands to earn his bread. When he began to preach the Kingdom, crowds of the dispossessed followed him, illustrating his words: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor” (Lk 4:18). He assured those burdened by sorrow and crushed by poverty that God has a special place for them in his heart: “Blessed are you poor, yours is the kingdom of God” (Lk 6:20); he made himself one of them: “I was hungry and you gave me food to eat”, and he taught them that mercy towards all of these is the key to heaven (cf. Mt 25:5ff.).
** Section 197

* Among the vulnerable for whom the Church wishes to care with particular love and concern are unborn children, the most defenceless and innocent among us. Nowadays efforts are made to deny them their human dignity and to do with them whatever one pleases, taking their lives and passing laws preventing anyone from standing in the way of this. Frequently, as a way of ridiculing the Church’s effort to defend their lives, attempts are made to present her position as ideological, obscurantist and conservative. Yet this defence of unborn life is closely linked to the defence of each and every other human right. It involves the conviction that a human being is always sacred and inviolable, in any situation and at every stage of development. Human beings are ends in themselves and never a means of resolving other problems. Once this conviction disappears, so do solid and lasting foundations for the defence of human rights, which would always be subject to the passing whims of the powers that be. Reason alone is sufficient to recognize the inviolable value of each single human life, but if we also look at the issue from the standpoint of faith, “every violation of the personal dignity of the human being cries out in vengeance to God and is an offence against the creator of the individual”.
** Section 213

* There also exists a constant tension between ideas and realities. Realities simply are, whereas ideas are worked out. There has to be continuous dialogue between the two, lest ideas become detached from realities. It is dangerous to dwell in the realm of words alone, of images and rhetoric. So a third principle comes into play: realities are greater than ideas. This calls for rejecting the various means of masking reality: angelic forms of purity, dictatorships of relativism, empty rhetoric, objectives more ideal than real, brands of ahistorical fundamentalism, ethical systems bereft of kindness, intellectual discourse bereft of wisdom.
** Section 231

* We hold the Jewish people in special regard because their covenant with God has never been revoked, for “the gifts and the call of God are irrevocable” (Rom 11:29). The Church, which shares with Jews an important part of the sacred Scriptures, looks upon the people of the covenant and their faith as one of the sacred roots of her own Christian identity (cf. Rom 11:16-18). As Christians, we cannot consider Judaism as a foreign religion; nor do we include the Jews among those called to turn from idols and to serve the true God (cf. 1 Thes 1:9). With them, we believe in the one God who acts in history, and with them we accept his revealed word.
** Section 247

* In order to sustain dialogue with Islam, suitable training is essential for all involved, not only so that they can be solidly and joyfully grounded in their own identity, but so that they can also acknowledge the values of others, appreciate the concerns underlying their demands and shed light on shared beliefs. We Christians should embrace with affection and respect Muslim immigrants to our countries in the same way that we hope and ask to be received and respected in countries of Islamic tradition. I ask and I humbly entreat those countries to grant Christians freedom to worship and to practice their faith, in light of the freedom which followers of Islam enjoy in Western countries! Faced with disconcerting episodes of violent fundamentalism, our respect for true followers of Islam should lead us to avoid hateful generalisations, for authentic Islam and the proper reading of the Koran are opposed to every form of violence.
** Section 253

* The Synod Fathers spoke of the importance of respect for religious freedom, viewed as a fundamental human right.[202] This includes “the freedom to choose the religion which one judges to be true and to manifest one’s beliefs in public”.[203] A healthy pluralism, one which genuinely respects differences and values them as such, does not entail privatizing religions in an attempt to reduce them to the quiet obscurity of the individual’s conscience or to relegate them to the enclosed precincts of churches, synagogues or mosques. This would represent, in effect, a new form of discrimination and authoritarianism. The respect due to the agnostic or non-believing minority should not be arbitrarily imposed in a way that silences the convictions of the believing majority or ignores the wealth of religious traditions. In the long run, this would feed resentment rather than tolerance and peace.
** Section 255

* Christ’s resurrection is not an event of the past; it contains a vital power which has permeated this world. Where all seems to be dead, signs of the resurrection suddenly spring up. It is an irresistible force. Often it seems that God does not exist: all around us we see persistent injustice, evil, indifference and cruelty. But it is also true that in the midst of darkness something new always springs to life and sooner or later produces fruit. On razed land life breaks through, stubbornly yet invincibly. However dark things are, goodness always re-emerges and spreads. Each day in our world beauty is born anew, it rises transformed through the storms of history. Values always tend to reappear under new guises, and human beings have arisen time after time from situations that seemed doomed. Such is the power of the resurrection, and all who evangelize are instruments of that power.
** Section 276

* At the same time, new difficulties are constantly surfacing: experiences of failure and the human weaknesses which bring so much pain. We all know from experience that sometimes a task does not bring the satisfaction we seek, results are few and changes are slow, and we are tempted to grow weary. Yet lowering our arms momentarily out of weariness is not the same as lowering them for good, overcome by chronic discontent and by a listlessness that parches the soul. It also happens that our hearts can tire of the struggle because in the end we are caught up in ourselves, in a careerism which thirsts for recognition, applause, rewards and status. In this case we do not lower our arms, but we no longer grasp what we seek, the resurrection is not there. In cases like these, the Gospel, the most beautiful message that this world can offer, is buried under a pile of excuses.
** Section 277

* There is a Marian “style” to the Church’s work of evangelization. Whenever we look to Mary, we come to believe once again in the revolutionary nature of love and tenderness. In her we see that humility and tenderness are not virtues of the weak but of the strong who need not treat others poorly in order to feel important themselves. Contemplating Mary, we realize that she who praised God for “bringing down the mighty from their thrones” and “sending the rich away empty” (Lk 1:52-53) is also the one who brings a homely warmth to our pursuit of justice. She is also the one who carefully keeps “all these things, pondering them in her heart” (Lk 2:19). Mary is able to recognize the traces of God’s Spirit in events great and small. She constantly contemplates the mystery of God in our world, in human history and in our daily lives. She is the woman of prayer and work in Nazareth, and she is also Our Lady of Help, who sets out from her town “with haste” (Lk 1:39) to be of service to others. This interplay of justice and tenderness, of contemplation and concern for others, is what makes the ecclesial community look to Mary as a model of evangelization.
** Section 288

====2014====
[[File:Ihs-logo.svg|thumb|I urge you to [[work]] together in promoting a [[true]], worldwide [[ethical]] mobilization which, beyond [[all]] differences of [[religious]] or [[political]] convictions, will spread and put into practice a shared [[ideal]] of fraternity and solidarity, especially with regard to the poorest and those most excluded.]]

* '''The [[Internet]], in particular, offers immense possibilities for encounter and solidarity, this is something truly [[good]], a [[gift]] from [[God]].'''
** As quoted in [http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2014/01/23/the-pope-takes-on-internet-trolls/ &quot;Pope: The Internet is a 'gift from God.' But watch out for the trolls.&quot; at ''CNN'' (23 January 2014)]

* '''Inconsistency on the part of pastors and the faithful between what they say and what they do, between [[word]] and manner of [[life]], is undermining the Church’s [[credibility]].'''
** As quoted in [http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201402/watching-the-world/ ''AWAKE!''] (February 2014)

* '''… exclude the need for appearances: what counts is not appearances; the value of life does not depend on the approval of others or on success, but on what we have inside us.'''
** As quoted in [http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/francesco/homilies/2014/documents/papa-francesco_20140305_omelia-ceneri_en.html &quot;Imposition of the Ashes - Homily of pope Francis&quot;  at ''www.vatican.va'' (5 March 2014)]

* When we shut ourselves in any form of selfishness or self-complacency; when we allow ourselves to be seduced by worldly powers and by the things of this world, forgetting God and neighbour; when we place our hope in worldly [[vanity|vanities]], in money, in success. Then the Word of God says to us: “Why do you seek the [[living]] among the [[dead]]?”. Why are you searching there? That thing cannot give you life! Yes, perhaps it will cheer you up for a moment, for a day, for a week, for a month … and then?
** As quoted in [http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/audiences/2014/documents/papa-francesco_20140423_udienza-generale.html General Audience of 23 April 2014, Saint Peter square in Rome (23 April 2014)]

* '''I urge you to [[work]] together in promoting a [[true]], worldwide [[ethical]] mobilization which, beyond [[all]] differences of [[religious]] or [[political]] convictions, will spread and put into practice a shared [[ideal]] of fraternity and solidarity, especially with regard to the poorest and those most excluded.'''
** As quoted in [http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/speeches/2014/may/documents/papa-francesco_20140509_consiglio-nazioni-unite.html Address to the UN system chief executives board for coordination, Consistory Hall (9 May 2014)]

*inside every Christian is a Jew
**[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/pope-francis-christian-jew_n_5492835 13 June 2014 via Huffington Post]

* Children have the right to grow up in a family with a father and mother capable of creating a suitable environment for the child's development and emotional maturity. Today marriage and the family are in crisis. We now live in a culture of the temporary, in which more and more people are simply giving up on marriage as a public commitment. The revolution in mores and morals has often flown the flag of freedom, but in fact it has brought spiritual and material devastation to countless human beings, especially the poorest and most vulnerable.
** [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/pope-francis-declares-union-between-man-and-woman-at-root-of-marriage-in-blow-to-gay-rights-9867561.html &quot;Pope Francis declares union between man and woman 'at root of marriage' in blow to gay rights&quot;, by Adam Withnall, ''The Independent'' (18 November 2014)]

* This is the Church’s destination: it is, as the Bible says, the “new Jerusalem”, “[[Paradise]]”. More than a place, it is a “state” of soul in which our deepest hopes are fulfilled in superabundance and our being, as creatures and as children of God, reach their full maturity. We will finally be clothed in the joy, peace and love of God, completely, without any limit, and we will come face to face with Him! (cf. 1 Cor 13:12). It is beautiful to think of this, to think of [[Heaven]]. We will all be there together. It is beautiful, it gives strength to the soul. … At the same time, Sacred Scripture teaches us that the fulfillment of this marvellous plan cannot but involve everything that surrounds us and came from the heart and mind of God. The [[Apostle Paul]] says it explicitly, when he says that “Creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the glorious liberty of the children of God” (Rom 8:21). Other texts utilize the image of a “new heaven” and a “new earth” (cf. 2 Pet 3:13; Rev 21:1), in the sense that the whole universe will be renewed and will be freed once and for all from every trace of evil and from death itself. What lies ahead is the fulfillment of a transformation that in reality is already happening, beginning with the death and resurrection of Christ. Hence, it is the new creation; it is not, therefore, the annihilation of the [[cosmos]] and of everything around us, but the bringing of all things into the fullness of being, of truth and of beauty.
**[https://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/audiences/2014/documents/papa-francesco_20141126_udienza-generale.html &quot;General Audience&quot;, in Saint Peter's Square (26 November 2014)].

* '''The [[human]] [[heart]] desires [[joy]].''' We all desire joy, every family, every people aspires to happiness. But what is the joy that the Christian is called to live out and bear witness to? It is the joy that comes from the closeness of God, from his presence in our life. From the moment [[Jesus]] entered into history, with his birth in Bethlehem, humanity received the seed of the [[Kingdom of God]], like the soil receives the seed, the promise of a future harvest. 
** [http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/angelus/2014/documents/papa-francesco_angelus_20141214.html &quot;Angelus&quot;, in Saint Peter's Square (14 December 2014)]

====2015====

*The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. There is no more meaningful time than the beginning of a new year to hear these words of blessing. 
**New Year Messages, ''National Catholic Register'' (January 2015)

*Peace requires the force of meekness, the force of nonviolence of truth and of love.    We are also called to acknowledge the violence and injustices present in many places around the world, and we cannot allow ourselves to be indifferent and immobile.  Everyone must work to build a society of solidarity and one that is truly more just.
**New Year Messages, ''National Catholic Register'' (January 2015)

* '''Not only does each person have the freedom and the right to say what they think for the common good, they have a duty to do so.''' Because while it is true that is wrong to react with violence, If my good friend Mr Gasparri says a curse word against my mother, he can expect a punch in the nose. … It's normal. '''You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others. … There are so many people who speak badly about religions or other religions, who make fun of them, who make a game out of the religions of others. They are provocateurs.''' And what happens to them is what would happen to Mr Gasparri if he says a curse word against my mother. There is a limit. … One cannot make war… kill in the name of one’s own religion, that is, in the name of God.
**Statements on his official plane traveling from Sri Lanka to the Philippines, reported in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSV-GD9gA-U &quot;Pope Francis: 'You cannot make fun of the faith of others (15 January 2015)]

* The [[earth]], our [[home]], is beginning to look more and more like an immense pile of filth.
** [https://twitter.com/pontifex/status/611518771186929664?lang=pt Twitter] (18 June 2015)

=====Announcement of the Jubilee of Mercy=====
[[File:Holy-door-rear.jpg|thumb| I have decided to announce an Extraordinary Jubilee which has at its centre the [[mercy]] of [[God]]. It will be a Holy Year of Mercy.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.im.va/content/gdm/en/giubileo/annuncio.html &quot;The Announcement of the Jubilee of Mercy&quot; (13 March 2015)]&lt;/small&gt; 

* '''[[Jesus]]’ reminder urges each of us never to stop at the surface of things, especially when we have a person before us. We are called to look beyond, to focus on the heart in order to see how much generosity everyone is capable of.''' No one can be excluded from the [[mercy]] of [[God]]; everyone knows the way to access it and the Church is the house where everyone is welcomed and no one is rejected. Her doors remain wide open, so that those who are touched by [[grace]] may find the assurance of forgiveness. The greater the sin, the greater the love that must be shown by the Church to those who repent. With how much love Jesus looks at us! With how much love He heals our sinful heart! Our sins never scare Him.

* Dear brothers and sisters, I have often thought of how the Church may render more clear her mission to be a witness to mercy; and we have to make this journey. It is a journey which begins with spiritual conversion. Therefore, '''I have decided to announce an Extraordinary Jubilee which has at its centre the mercy of God. It will be a Holy Year of Mercy.'''

* I am confident that the whole Church, which is in such need of mercy for we are sinners, will be able to find in this Jubilee the joy of rediscovering and rendering fruitful God’s mercy, with which we are all called to give comfort to every man and every woman of our time. Do not forget that God forgives all, and God forgives always. Let us never tire of asking forgiveness. Let us henceforth entrust this Year to the Mother of Mercy, that she turn her gaze upon us and watch over our journey: our penitential journey, our year-long journey with an open heart, to receive the indulgence of God, to receive the mercy of God.

=====''[[w:Laudato si'|Laudato si']] : Care for Our Common Home''=====
[[File:Albert Chevallier Tayler - St Francis 1898.jpg|thumb|If we approach [[nature]] and the environment without this openness to awe and wonder, if we no longer speak the language of fraternity and beauty in our relationship with the world, our attitude will be that of masters, consumers, ruthless exploiters, unable to set limits on their immediate needs.]]
&lt;!-- [[File:Eaton Centre HDR style.jpg|thumb|A minority believes that it has the right to consume in a way which can never be universalized, since the planet could not even contain the waste products of such consumption.]] --&gt;
:&lt;small&gt;[http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/encyclicals/documents/papa-francesco_20150524_enciclica-laudato-si.html Encyclical Letter ''Laudato si' '' of the Holy Father Francis on Care for Our Common Home (24 May 2015)]&lt;/small&gt;

* [[Saint Francis of Assisi]] ... felt called to care for all that exists. His disciple [[w:Bonaventure|Saint Bonaventure]] tells us that, “from a reflection on the primary source of all things, filled with even more abundant piety, he would call creatures, no matter how small, by the name of ‘brother’ or ‘sister’”. Such a conviction cannot be written off as naive romanticism, for it affects the choices which determine our behaviour. If we approach nature and the environment without this openness to awe and wonder, if we no longer speak the language of fraternity and beauty in our relationship with the world, our attitude will be that of masters, consumers, ruthless exploiters, unable to set limits on their immediate needs. By contrast, if we feel intimately united with all that exists, then sobriety and care will well up spontaneously. The poverty and austerity of Saint Francis were no mere veneer of asceticism, but something much more radical: a refusal to turn reality into an object simply to be used and controlled.
** § 11

* Instead of resolving the problems of the poor and thinking of how the world can be different, some can only propose a reduction in the birth rate. ... To blame population growth instead of extreme and selective consumerism on the part of some, is one way of refusing to face the issues. It is an attempt to legitimize the present model of distribution, where a minority believes that it has the right to consume in a way which can never be universalized, since the planet could not even contain the waste products of such consumption.
** § 50

* Economic powers continue to justify the current global system where priority tends to be given to speculation and the pursuit of financial gain, which fail to take the context into account, let alone the effects on human dignity and the natural environment. Here we see how environmental deterioration and human and ethical degradation are closely linked. Many people will deny doing anything wrong because distractions constantly dull our consciousness of just how limited and finite our world really is.
** § 56

* Everything is connected. Concern for the environment thus needs to be joined to a sincere love for our fellow human beings and an unwavering commitment to resolving the problems of society.
** § 91

* Moreover, when our hearts are authentically open to universal communion, this sense of fraternity excludes nothing and no one. It follows that our indifference or cruelty towards fellow creatures of this world sooner or later affects the treatment we mete out to other human beings. We have only one heart, and the same wretchedness which leads us to mistreat an animal will not be long in showing itself in our relationships with other people. 
** § 92

* It is difficult to make a general judgement about genetic modification (GM), whether vegetable or animal, medical or agricultural, since these vary greatly among themselves and call for specific considerations. The risks involved are not always due to the techniques used, but rather to their improper or excessive application. Genetic mutations, in fact, have often been, and continue to be, caused by nature itself. Nor are [[mutation]]s caused by human intervention a modern phenomenon. The domestication of animals, the crossbreeding of species and other older and universally accepted practices can be mentioned as examples. We need but recall that scientific developments in GM cereals began with the observation of natural bacteria which spontaneously modified plant genomes. In nature, however, this process is slow and cannot be compared to the fast pace induced by contemporary technological advances, even when the latter build upon several centuries of scientific progress.
** § 133

* Although no conclusive proof exists that GM cereals may be harmful to human beings, and in some regions their use has brought about economic growth which has helped to resolve problems, there remain a number of significant difficulties which should not be underestimated. In many places, following the introduction of these crops, productive land is concentrated in the hands of a few owners due to “the progressive disappearance of small producers, who, as a consequence of the loss of the exploited lands, are obliged to withdraw from direct production”. The most vulnerable of these become temporary labourers, and many rural workers end up moving to poverty-stricken urban areas. The expansion of these crops has the effect of destroying the complex network of ecosystems, diminishing the diversity of production and affecting regional economies, now and in the future. In various countries, we see an expansion of oligopolies for the production of cereals and other products needed for their cultivation. This dependency would be aggravated were the production of infertile seeds to be considered; the effect would be to force farmers to purchase them from larger producers.
**  § 134

=====Address at the White House=====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://abcnews.go.com/US/read-pope-francis-speech-gave-white-house/story?id=33972629 &quot;Pope Francis' speech at the White House&quot; (23 September 2015)]&lt;/small&gt; 

* I am deeply grateful for your welcome in the name of all Americans. As the son of an immigrant family, I am happy to be a guest in this country, which was largely built by such families.

* Mr. President, I find it encouraging that you are proposing an initiative for reducing air pollution. Accepting the urgency, it seems clear to me also that climate change is a problem which can no longer be left to a future generation.

* '''Mr. President, together with their fellow citizens, American Catholics are committed to building a society which is truly tolerant and inclusive, to safeguarding the rights of individuals and communities, and to rejecting every form of unjust discrimination.''' With countless other people of good will, they are likewise concerned that efforts to build a just and wisely ordered society respect their deepest concerns and their right to religious liberty. That freedom remains one of America’s most precious possessions. And, as my brothers, the United States Bishops, have reminded us, all are called to be vigilant, precisely as good citizens, to preserve and defend that freedom from everything that would threaten or compromise it.

=====Address to the United States Congress=====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.c-span.org/video/?328063-1/pope-francis-address-joint-meeting-congress Pope Francis Address to Joint Meeting of Congress (24 September 2015).]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!--https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/transcript-pope-franciss-speech-to-congress/2015/09/24/6d7d7ac8-62bf-11e5-8e9e-dce8a2a2a679_story.html--&gt;
[[File:Flag of the United States.svg|thumb|America continues to be, for many, a land of dreams. Dreams which lead to action, to participation, to commitment. Dreams which awaken what is deepest and truest in the life of a people.]]
* I am happy that America continues to be, for many, a land of dreams. Dreams which lead to action, to participation, to commitment. Dreams which awaken what is deepest and truest in the life of a people.

* In recent centuries, millions of people came to this land to pursue their dream of building a future in freedom. We, the people of this continent, are not fearful of foreigners, because most of us were once foreigners. I say this to you as the son of immigrants, knowing that so many of you are also descended from immigrants.

* Tragically, the rights of those who were here long before us were not always respected. For those peoples and their nations, from the heart of American democracy, I wish to reaffirm my highest esteem and appreciation. Those first contacts were often turbulent and violent, but it is difficult to judge the past by the criteria of the present. Nonetheless, when the stranger in our midst appeals to us, we must not repeat the sins and the errors of the past. We must resolve now to live as nobly and as justly as possible, as we educate new generations not to turn their back on our 'neighbors' and everything around us.

* Building a nation calls us to recognize that we must constantly relate to others, rejecting a mindset of hostility in order to adopt one of reciprocal subsidiarity, in a constant effort to do our best. I am confident that we can do this.

=====Inauguration of the Jubilee Year of Mercy=====
[[File:Rom, Vatikan, Petersdom - Heilige Pforte 1.jpg|thumb|This Extraordinary Holy Year is itself a gift of grace. To pass through the [[w:Holy Door|Holy Door]] means to rediscover the infinite [[mercy]] of the Father who welcomes everyone and goes out personally to encounter each of them.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://en.radiovaticana.va/news/2015/12/08/pope_francis_homily_for_inauguration_of_the_jubilee/1192758 &quot;Pope Francis: Homily for Inauguration of the Jubilee&quot; at ''Vatican Radio'' (8 December 2015)]&lt;/small&gt;

* Dear Brothers and Sisters, &lt;br /&gt; '''In a few [[moments]] I will have the [[joy]] of opening the [[w:Holy Door|Holy Door]] of [[Mercy]]. We carry out this act, so simple yet so highly [[symbolic]], in the [[light]] of the [[word]] of [[God]] which we have just heard. That word highlights the primacy of [[grace]].'''

* '''The fullness of grace can transform the [[human]] [[heart]] and enable it to do something so [[great]] as to change the course of human [[history]].'''

* '''This Extraordinary Holy Year is itself a gift of grace. To pass through the [[w:Holy Door|Holy Door]] means to rediscover the infinite mercy of the Father who welcomes everyone and goes out personally to encounter each of them.''' This will be a year in which we grow ever more convinced of God’s mercy. How much wrong we do to God and his grace when we speak of sins being punished by his judgment before we speak of their being forgiven by his mercy! &lt;!-- (cf. Saint Augustine, De Praedestinatione Sanctorum, 12, 24) --&gt;  But that is the truth. We have to put mercy before judgment, and in any event God’s judgement will always be in the light of his mercy. In passing through the Holy Door, then, may we feel that we ourselves are part of this mystery of love. Let us set aside all fear and dread, for these do not befit men and women who are loved. Instead, let us experience the joy of encountering that grace which transforms all things.

* Wherever there are people, the Church is called to reach out to them and to bring the joy of the Gospel. … May our passing through the Holy Door today commit us to making our own the mercy of the Good Samaritan.

=====Mercy Is 'What Pleases God Most'=====
:&lt;small&gt;Statements from a general audience, as quoted in [http://aleteia.org/2015/12/09/pope-francis-mercy-is-what-pleases-god-most/ &quot;Pope Francis: Mercy Is 'What Pleases God Most'&quot; (9 December 2015)]&lt;/small&gt;

*&lt;!-- The Church needs this extraordinary moment. I’m not saying this extraordinary time is good for the Church … no, no. I’m saying the Church needs this extraordinary time. --&gt; In our age of profound change, the Church is called to offer its unique contribution, by making visible the signs of the presence and closeness of God. And the Jubilee is a favorable time for us all, for in contemplating the Divine Mercy, which surpasses every human limitation and shines on the darkness of sin, we can become more convincing and effective witnesses.

* This Jubilee is a privileged moment for the Church to learn to choose only ‘what pleases God most.’ And what is it that ‘pleases God most’? To forgive his children, to have mercy on them, so that they too might forgive their brothers and sisters, and become shining like torches of God’s mercy in the world.

* '''God’s joy is to forgive. God’s being is mercy.''' Therefore, over the course of this year we need to open our hearts, so that this love, this joy of God might fill us all with this mercy.

* '''Only a merciful Church shines!''' Were we to forget, even only for a moment, that mercy is ‘what pleases God most,’ all our efforts would be in vain, for we would become slaves of our institutions and our structures, however renewed they might be. We would always be slaves.

====2016====
[[File:Franciscus (Veglia).jpg|thumb|Let us turn our backs on power and treachery.]]
* Today, I don't think that there is a fear of Islam as such but of [[ISIS]] and its war of conquest, which is partly drawn from Islam. It is true that the idea of conquest is inherent in the soul of Islam. However, it is also possible to interpret the objective in Matthew's Gospel, where [[Jesus]] sends his disciples to all nations, in terms of the same idea of conquest.
** [http://www.la-croix.com/Religion/Pape/INTERVIEW-Pope-Francis-2016-05-17-1200760633 INTERVIEW Pope Francis] by Guillaume Goubert and Sébastien Maillard for ''La Croix'' (17 May 2016); translation by Stefan Gigacz.

* I encourage you to welcome refugees into your homes and communities, so that their first experience of Europe is not the traumatic experience of sleeping cold on the streets, but one of warm welcome.
** [http://www.kentucky.com/news/nation-world/world/article102453732.html &quot;Pope: welcoming refugees helps keeps us safe from terrorism&quot;, ''Lexington Herald-Leader'' (17 September 2016)]

* Let us turn our backs on power and treachery.
** As Reported by ''Vatican Insider'', [http://www.lastampa.it/2016/11/08/vaticaninsider/eng/the-vatican/pope-let-us-turn-our-backs-on-power-and-treachery-FkcClnspuyJ3TVX9NFgBmI/pagina.html August 11, 2016]

=====Visit to Mexico (February 2016)=====
[[File:DDR wall peekaboo.jpg|thumb|right|A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not of building bridges, is not Christian.]]
* A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not of building bridges, is not Christian. This is not the gospel. … I say only that this man is not Christian if he has said things like that. We must see if he said things in that way and I will give him the benefit of the doubt.
**As quoted in [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/pope-francis-trump-is-not-christian/ &quot;Pope Francis: Donald Trump 'is not Christian'&quot;, by Rebecca Kaplan, ''CBS News'' (18 February 2016)]

==== 2017 ====

* '''What is scandal? Scandal is saying one thing and doing another; it is a double life, a double life.''' A totally double life: &quot;I am very Catholic, I always go to Mass, I belong to this association and that one; but my life is not Christian, I don’t pay my workers a just wage, I exploit people, I am dirty in my business, I launder money …&quot; A double life. And so many Christians are like this, and these people scandalize others. '''How many times have we heard — all of us, around the neighborhood and elsewhere — &quot;but to be a Catholic like that, it’s better to be an atheist.&quot; It is that, scandal.''' You destroy. You beat down. And this happens every day, it’s enough to see the news on TV, or to read the papers. In the papers there are so many scandals, and there is also the great publicity of the scandals. And with the scandals there is destruction.
** Homily at the morning Mass at the Casa Santa Marta (23 February 2017), as quoted in [http://en.radiovaticana.va/news/2017/02/23/pope_dont_put_off_conversion,_give_up_a_double_life/1294470 &quot;Pope: Don't put off conversion, give up a double life&quot; at ''Vatican Radio'' (23 February 2017)]; also quoted in [http://www.snopes.com/pope-francis-bad-catholics/ &quot;Did Pope Francis Say It Was Better to Be an Atheist Than a Bad Catholic? at ''snopes.com'' (28 February)]

* '''Every step, every [[effort]], every [[test]], every fall and every recovery has a sense within [[God]]’s [[design]] for [[salvation]], as He wants [[life]] – not [[death]] – and [[joy]] – not [[pain]] – for His [[people]]''' … This doesn’t mean that he did everything and we don’t have to do anything.
** [[Ash Wednesday]] General Audience (1 March 2017), as quoted in [http://en.radiovaticana.va/news/2017/03/01/pope_francis_‘we_do_not_go_to_heaven_in_a_carriage’_/1295741 &quot;Pope Francis: ‘we do not go to heaven in a carriage’&quot; at ''Vatican Radio'' (1 March 2017)]

*We recognize the great development there has been over the course of recent decades with regard to [[disability]]. Greater awareness of the dignity of each person, especially of the weakest, has led to the espousal of courageous positions for the inclusion of those who live with various forms of handicap, so that no one should feel like a stranger in his own home. Yet, at the cultural level, through a prevailing false understanding of life, expressions that harm the dignity of these persons still persist. &lt;br&gt;'''An often [[Narcissism|narcissistic]] and [[Utilitarianism|utilitarian]] vision, unfortunately, leads not a few to consider persons with disabilities as marginal, without grasping their manifold human and spiritual richness'''. In the common mind-set, there is still too strong an attitude of rejection of this condition, as if it prevents one from achieving happiness and self-fulfilment. It is demonstrated by the [[Eugenics|eugenic]] trend of [[Abortion|ending the lives of the unborn]] who show some form of imperfection. &lt;br&gt;In reality, we all know many people who, despite even serious fragility, have found, albeit with difficulty, the path of a good life, rich with meaning. Likewise, on the other hand, we know people who are seemingly perfect, yet they despair! After all, it is a perilous deception to think we are invulnerable. As said by a girl whom I met on my recent journey to Colombia: vulnerability is intrinsic to the essential nature of mankind.&lt;br&gt;The answer is [[love]]: not that false, saccharine and sanctimonious love, ''but that which is true, concrete and respectful''. 
**''Address of His Holiness Pope Francis to Participants in the Conference Organized by the Pontifical Council for Promoting New Evangelization'', Clementine Hall, Saturday, 21 October 2017. [https://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/speeches/2017/october/documents/papa-francesco_20171021_convegno-pcpne.html]

*Some sixty years ago, [[Pope Pius XII]], in a memorable address to anaesthesiologists and intensive care specialists, stated that there is no obligation to have recourse in all circumstances to every possible remedy and that, in some specific cases, it is permissible to refrain from their use  ... The specific element of this criterion is that it considers “the result that can be expected, taking into account the state of the sick person and his or her physical and moral resources”.  It thus makes possible a decision that is morally qualified as withdrawal of “overzealous treatment”.&lt;br&gt;Such a decision responsibly acknowledges the limitations of our mortality, once it becomes clear that opposition to it is futile.  “Here one does not will to cause death; one’s inability to impede it is merely accepted” ([[Catechism of the Catholic Church]], No. 2278).  This difference of perspective restores humanity to the accompaniment of the dying, while not attempting to justify the suppression of the living.  It is clear that not adopting, or else suspending, disproportionate measures, means avoiding overzealous treatment; from an ethical standpoint, '''it is completely different from [[euthanasia]], which is always wrong''', in that the intent of euthanasia is to end life and cause [[death]].&lt;br&gt;The anguish associated with conditions that bring us to the threshold of human mortality, and the difficulty of the decision we have to make, may tempt us to step back from the patient.  Yet this is where, more than anything else, we are called to show love and closeness, recognizing the limit that we all share and showing our solidarity. &lt;br&gt;Let each of us give love in his or her own way—as a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, a brother or sister, a [[Physician|doctor]] or a [[Nursing|nurse]].  But give it!  
**''Message of His Holiness Pope Francis to the Participants in the European Regional Meeting of the World Medical Association'', From the Vatican, 7 November 2017 [https://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/messages/pont-messages/2017/documents/papa-francesco_20171107_messaggio-monspaglia.html]

*Here let me allude to another danger: those who betray the trust put in them and profiteer from the Church’s motherhood. I am speaking of persons carefully selected to give a greater vigour to the body and to the ''reform'', but – failing to understand the lofty nature of their responsibility – let themselves be corrupted by ambition or vainglory. Then, when they are quietly sidelined, they wrongly declare themselves martyrs of the system, of a “Pope kept in the dark”, of the “old guard”, rather than reciting a ''mea culpa''. Alongside these, there are others who are still working there, to whom all the time in the world is given to get back on the right track, in the hope that they find in the Church’s patience an opportunity for conversion and not for personal advantage. Of course, this is in no way to overlook the vast majority of faithful persons working there with praiseworthy commitment, fidelity, competence, dedication and great sanctity.
**''Christmas Greetings to the Roman Curia'', Clementine Hall, 21 December 2017 [https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/speeches/2017/december/documents/papa-francesco_20171221_curia-romana.html]

====2018====
*Some people think that - excuse my expression here - that in order to be good Catholics we have to be like rabbits. No. Parenthood is about being responsible. This is clear.
**Said to the press on the flight back from the [[w:Pope Francis's visit to the Philippines|2018 Papal visit to the Philippines]] in response to a question about what he would say to families who had more children than they could afford because the Church forbids artificial contraception. As reported on [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-30890989 BBC news] and other outlets. (19 January 2018)

* '''Eugenio Scalfari''': Your Holiness, in our previous meeting you told me that our species will disappear in a certain moment and that God, still out of his creative force, will create new species. You have never spoken to me about the souls who died in sin and will go to hell to suffer it for eternity. You have however spoken to me of good souls, admitted to the contemplation of God. But what about bad souls? Where are they punished?&lt;br /&gt;'''Pope Francis''': They are not punished, those who repent obtain the forgiveness of God and enter the rank of souls who contemplate him, but those who do not repent and cannot therefore be forgiven disappear. '''There is no hell''', there is the disappearance of sinful souls.
** Interview published in ''La Repubblica'' (28 March 2018), as translated in the web log ''[http://rorate-caeli.blogspot.com/2018/03/there-is-no-hell-new-francis-revelation.html Rorate Caeli]'' (29 March 2018)

* Only by changing education can we change the world.
** Address of Pope Francis to members of the ''Gravissimum Educationis'' Foundation, 25 June 2018 &lt;ref&gt;[http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/speeches/2018/june/documents/papa-francesco_20180625_gravissimum-educationis.html Address of Pope Francis to members of the Gravissimum Educationis Foundation]&lt;/ref&gt;.

* A Christian cannot be an anti-Semite; we share the same roots. Rather, we are called to commit ourselves to ensure [[anti-Semitism]] is banned from the human community.
** [https://www.archsa.org/blog/pope-francis-a-christian-cannot-be-an-anti-semite Address of Pope Francis during a meeting with Rabbis at the Vatican]. Catholic News Agency, November 05, 2018

====2019====
[[File:5 luglio 2013 - incontro tra Papa Francesco e Papa Benedetto XVI - inaugurazione statua San Michele Arcangelo -.jpg|thumb|We must not place the burden on the next [[generations]] to take on the [[problems]] caused by the previous ones. Instead, we should [[give]] them the [[opportunity]] to [[remember]] our generation as the one that renewed and acted on — with [[honest]], [[responsible]] and [[courageous]] [[awareness]] — the fundamental need to [[collaborate]] in order to preserve and cultivate [[Earth|our common home]]. May we offer the next generation concrete [[reasons]] to [[hope]] and [[work]] for a [[good]] and [[dignified]] [[future]]!]]

* '''We can build any number of walls and close our doors in the vain effort to feel secure in our wealth, at the expense of those left outside. It will not be that way for ever. '''&lt;br&gt;The ‘day of the Lord,’ as described by the prophets, will destroy the barriers created between nations and replace the arrogance of the few with the solidarity of many.
**[https://press.vatican.va/content/salastampa/en/bollettino/pubblico/2019/06/13/190613d.html &quot;Message of the Holy Father Francis for the Third World Day of the Poor&quot; (13 June 2019)]

* '''We have caused a climate emergency that gravely threatens nature and life itself, including our own.''' [At the] United Nations Climate Action Summit ... governments will have the responsibility of showing the political will to take drastic measures.
**As quoted in [https://www.instagram.com/p/B1_bxxxIxCJ/ a UNFCCC Instagram post] and in [https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2019/09/01/pope-francis-issues-new-call-world-leaders-act-climate-emergency America Magazine] (1 September 2019)

* We must not place the burden on the next generations to take on the problems caused by the previous ones. Instead, we should give them the opportunity to remember our generation as the one that renewed and acted on — with honest, responsible and courageous awareness — the fundamental need to collaborate in order to preserve and cultivate our common home. '''May we offer the next generation concrete reasons to hope and work for a good and dignified future!'''
** [http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/messages/pont-messages/2019/documents/papa-francesco_20191201_messaggio-carolina-schmidt.html Message to the Participants in the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (1 December 2019)]

* On this third Sunday of Advent, known as the Sunday &quot;of joy&quot;, the Word of God invites us on the one hand to joy, and on the other hand to the awareness that existence also includes moments of doubt, in which it is difficult to believe. ''Joy and doubt'' are both experiences that are part of our lives. … Advent is a time of grace. It tells us that it is not enough to believe in God: it is necessary to purify our faith every day. It is a matter of preparing ourselves to welcome not a fairy-tale character, but the God who challenges us, involves us and before whom a choice is imposed. '''The Child who lies in the manger has the face of our brothers and sisters most in need, of the poor who are &quot;a privileged part of this mystery; often they are the first to recognize God’s presence in our midst&quot;.'''
** [http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/angelus/2019/documents/papa-francesco_angelus_20191215.html ''Angelus'' (15 December 2019)]

===2020s===
====2020====
*Peace is a path of hope, a path on which one advances through dialogue, reconciliation and conversion.
**On New Year, Pope Wishes the Faithful a 2020 of Peace, ''Voice of America,'' (1 January 2020)

*There are mothers, who risk perilous journeys to desperately try to give the fruit of the womb a better future and are judged to be redundant by people whose bellies are full of things, but whose hearts are empty of love.
**On New Year, Pope Wishes the Faithful a 2020 of Peace, ''Voice of America,'' (1 January 2020)

*Who now speaks of the fires in Australia, or remembers that 18 months ago a boat could cross the North Pole because the glaciers had all melted? Who speaks now of the floods? I don’t know if these are the revenge of nature, but they are certainly nature’s responses. Today I believe we have to slow down our rate of production and consumption and to learn to understand and contemplate the natural world. We need to reconnect with our real surroundings.
**On the coronavirus and environmental crises. Cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/08/pope-salutes-saints-next-door-fight-against-coronavirus-hyprocrisy Pope salutes 'saints next door' in fight against coronavirus] in the Guardian. (8 April 2020)

*The marketplace, by itself, cannot resolve every problem, however much we are asked to believe this dogma of neoliberal faith. Whatever the challenge, this impoverished and repetitive school of thought always offers the same recipes. [[Neoliberalism]] simply reproduces itself by resorting to the magic theories of 'spillover' or 'trickle' – without using the name – as the only solution to societal problems.
**&quot;[https://www.businessinsider.com/pope-francis-criticizes-capitalism-coronavirus-free-markets-equality-2020-10 Pope Francis issues blistering rebuke of capitalism — and says the coronavirus pandemic proves 'not everything can be resolved by market freedom']&quot;, ''{{w|Business Insider}}'' (5 October 2020)

*I think often of persecuted peoples: the Rohingya, the poor [[Uyghurs]], the Yazidi -- what ISIS did to them was truly cruel -- or Christians in Egypt and Pakistan killed by bombs that went off while they prayed in church. 
**Says in the book, &quot;Let Us Dream: The Path to A Better Future,&quot; published on November 23, 2020. [https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/24/europe/pope-francis-china-uyghur-intl-hnk/index.html CNN News]

====2021====
*China is not easy, but I am convinced that we should not give up dialogue. You can be deceived in dialogue, you can make mistakes, all that ... but it is the way. Closed-mindedness is never the way.
**While defending the [[w:China–Holy See relations#2018 Holy See–China Agreement|controversial deal between China and Holy See]] on the appointment of bishops in China. Cited in [https://www.reuters.com/world/china/pope-defends-deal-with-china-says-dialogue-necessary-2021-09-01/ Pope defends deal with China, says dialogue necessary] in the Reuters. (1 September 2021)

*(I) thank you for what you tell us about what is wrong in the Church, for helping us not to sweep it under the carpet, and for the voice you have given to the abuse victims,&quot; the pope said.
**Quoted in Pope thanks journalists for helping expose Church sex scandals. ''Reuters'' 13 November 2021

*Investing in education means helping children and young people to discover and appreciate the most important values and to have the courage to look to their future with hope.
*In education dwells the seed of hope: hope for peace and justice, hope for beauty and goodness; hope for social harmony.
**Cited in [https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2021-12/pope-francis-art-creates-brotherhood-and-friendship.html Pope Francis: Art creates brotherhood and friendship] in the Vatican News. (15 December 2021)

====2022====

*The communion of saints does not concern only those brothers and sisters who are beside me at this historic moment, or who live in this historic moment, but also those who have concluded their journey, the earthly pilgrimage and crossed the threshold of death. They too are in communion with us. Let us consider, dear brothers and sisters, that in Christ no one can ever truly separate us from those we love because the bond is an existential bond, a strong bond that is in our very nature; only the manner of being together with one another them changes, but nothing and no one can break this bond. “Father, let’s think about those who have denied the faith, who are apostates, who are the persecutors of the Church, who have denied their baptism: Are these also at home?” Yes, these too. All of them. The blasphemers, all of them. We are brothers. This is the communion of saints. The communion of saints holds together the community of believers on earth and in heaven, and on earth the saints, the sinners, all.
**''[https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/audiences/2022/documents/20220202-udienza-generale.html General Audience: Catechesis on Saint Joseph: 10. Saint Joseph and the communion of saints]'', Paul VI Audience Hall, (2 February 2022)
[[File:V. Putin and Anthony (Pakanych).jpeg|thumb|280px|[[Patriarch Kirill of Moscow|The Patriarch]] [Kirill] cannot transform himself into [[Putin]]'s altar boy.&lt;br/&gt;~ '''His Holiness''' [[Pope Francis]]]]
* With an aching [[heart]] I add my [[voice]] to that of the common [[people]], who implore the [[end]] [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|of the war]]. In the name of [[God]], listen to the cry of those who [[suffer]], and put an end to the bombings and the attacks! &lt;br/&gt; The city that bears the name of the [[Mary, mother of Jesus|Virgin Mary]], Mariupol, has become a city [[martyred]] by the ruinous war that is devastating [[Ukraine]]. &lt;br/&gt; Before the [[barbarism]] of [[killing]] [[children]] and innocent and defenceless citizens, no strategic reasons hold: the only thing to be done is to cease the unacceptable armed [[aggression]] before cities are reduced to cemeteries.
** Appeal to an end to the war in Ukraine during Sunday angelus (13 March 2022), as quoted in [https://twitter.com/Pontifex/status/1502993982938308608 official tweets]: also in [https://www.skynews.com.au/world-news/global-affairs/pope-francis-condemns-russian-invasion-on-ukraine-as-he-calls-on-vladimir-putin-to-stop-unacceptable-armed-aggression/news-story/c3e0890f738e3ac450e18d8fdea85f51 &quot;Pope Francis condemns Russian invasion on Ukraine as he calls on Vladimir Putin to 'stop unacceptable armed aggression'&quot; by David Wu, ''Sky News'' (14 March 2022)]

* We had thought that [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|invasions of other countries]], savage street fighting and [[Nuclear war|atomic threats]] were grim memories of a distant [[past]]. However, the icy winds of [[war]], which bring only [[death]], [[destruction]] and [[hatred]] in their wake, have swept down powerfully upon the [[lives]] of many [[people]] and affected us all. Once again, some potentate, sadly caught up in [[anachronistic]] claims of [[nationalist]] interests, is provoking and fomenting [[conflicts]], whereas ordinary people sense the [[need]] to build a [[future]] that, will either be shared, or not be at all. Now in the [[night]] of the war that is fallen upon [[humanity]], please, let us not allow the [[dream]] of [[peace]] to fade!
** [https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/speeches/2022/april/documents/20220402-malta-autorita.html Address in Valletta, Malta (2 April 2022)]
[[File:Mexican Imports (17176518260).jpg|thumb|You know what I need for my knee? Some tequila.&lt;br/&gt; ~ His Holiness, addressing Mexican believers.]]
* We are in the days preceding [[Easter]]. We are preparing to [[celebrate]] ''the [[victory]] of the Lord [[Jesus]] [[Christ]] over [[sin]] and [[death]]'' — over sin and death — not over someone and against someone else. [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|But today, there is a war]]. Why do we want to win like this, according to the way of the world? There are only losses this way. Why not allow ''Him'' to win? Christ bore his cross to [[free]] us from the dominion of [[evil]]. He died so that [[life]], [[love]], [[peace]] may reign. &lt;br/&gt; Let the [[weapons]] be put down! Let the Easter truce begin. But not to reload the weapons and pick up the fighting again — no! — a truce that will lead to peace, through real negotiation that is also willing to make some sacrifice for the good of the [[people]]. Indeed, what victory is there in planting a [[flag]] on a pile of rubble?
** [https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/angelus/2022/documents/20220410-angelus.html Palm Sunday Angelus (10 April 2022)]

*When we resort to violence ... we lose sight of why we are in the world and even end up committing senseless acts of cruelty. We see this in the folly of war, where Christ is crucified yet another time.
**[https://www.npr.org/2022/04/10/1091929949/palm-sunday-pope-francis-ukraine &quot;In the Palm Sunday Mass, Pope Francis pushes for peace in Ukraine&quot; in ''NPR''] (10 April 2022)

*If we had memory, we would know that war, before it reaches the front lines, must be stopped in hearts. Hate, before it is too late, must be eradicated from hearts. And in order to do so, we need dialogue, negotiation, listening, diplomatic capacity and creativity, far-sighted politics capable of building a new system of coexistence that is no longer based on weapons, on the power of weapons, on deterrence.
**[https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2022-04/pope-francis-war-introduction-book-courage-peace.html &quot;Pope Francis: 'War is a sacrilege, let us stop fuelling it!'&quot;] (13 April 2022)

* My thoughts go immediately to the Ukrainian city of Mariupol, the city of Mary, barbarously bombarded and destroyed.
** [https://www.jpost.com/christianworld/article-705634 &quot;Pope: Mariupol 'barbarously bombarded'], implicitly criticizing Russia&quot;, The Jerusalem Post, 2 May 2022

* [[Patriarch Kirill of Moscow|The Patriarch]] [Kirill] cannot transform himself into Putin's altar boy.
** Pope Francis, quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/05/04/europe/pope-francis-patriarch-kirill-ukraine-invasion-intl/index.html &quot;Pope Francis warns pro-war Russian patriarch not to be 'Putin's altar boy'&quot;], CNN, 4 May 2022

* Do you know what I need for my knee?  Some tequila.
** [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/pope-francis-answer-for-his-bad-knee-tequila &quot;Pope Francis’ answer for his bad knee? Tequila&quot;], PBS, May 17 2022

* God does not want us to be slaves, but sons and daughters.  He does not want to make decisions for us, or oppress us with a sacral power, exercised in a world governed by religious laws. No! He created us to be free, and he asks us to be mature and responsible persons in life and in society.
* Together with you, I would like once more to ask forgiveness of all the victims. The pain and the shame we feel must become an occasion for conversion: Never again!  Never again can the Christian community allow itself to be infected by the idea that one culture is superior to others, or that it is legitimate to employ ways of coercing others.
* God seems to have disappeared from the horizon, and his word no longer seems a compass guiding our lives, our basic decisions, our human and social relationships.
* We must begin with ourselves: bishops and priests, who should not feel themselves superior to our brothers and sisters in the people of God. Pastoral workers, who should not understand service as power.
** [https://religionnews.com/2022/07/28/god-does-not-want-a-world-governed-by-religious-laws-pope-tells-canadian-clergy/ &quot;God does not want ‘a world governed by religious laws,’ pope tells Canadian clergy&quot;], 28 July 2022

{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
* It is not necessary to believe in God to be a good person. In a way, the traditional notion of God is outdated. One can be spiritual but not religious. It is not necessary to go to church and give money— for many, nature can be a church. Some of the best people in history do not believe in God, while some of the worst deeds were done in His name.
** Attributed to Pope Francis in a Facebook image circulated circa {{#formatdate:2014-12-06}}, this is debunked in [http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/popeatheist.asp &quot;Mass Exodus&quot; at ''Snopes.com'' (15 December 2014)], which asserts there are no credible indications Francis ever made such a statement: &quot;It's not clear where the quote originated, but there is no proof (nor is there precedent) for the claim Pope Francis voiced it.&quot;

{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Francis == 
[[File:Papa Francisco recién elegido.jpg|thumb|Who am I to [[judgement|judge]]?]]
[[File:Flickr - Israel Defense Forces - Passenger Disembarking from Ship at Ashdod Port (1).jpg|thumb|In my opinion, an encyclical on [[nonviolence]] and [[disarmament]] from Pope Francis would give hope to us all and encourage us all to take up our responsibility to build a new culture of peace and nonviolence, not only in the Church and in Ireland, but throughout the whole world. ~[[Mairead Maguire]]]]
[[File:Pope Franciscus &amp; Patriarch Bartholomew I in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem (1).JPG|thumb|He is urging his [[army]] to [[think]] more broadly. ~ ''TIME'']]
[[File:Pope Francis Photo 2.jpg|thumb|He talks about [[Christ]]’s [[love]] like a man who has found something wondrous and wants nothing more than to share it. ~ ''TIME'']]
[[File:Canonization 2014-The Canonization of Saint John XXIII and Saint John Paul II (14037015405).jpg|thumb| If the [[Church]] becomes like him and becomes what he wants it to be, it will be an epochal [[change]]. ~ [[w:Eugenio Scalfari|Eugenio Scalfari]] ]]
[[File:SecularHumanismLogo3DPrideRainbowColors.png|thumb|He’s offering very [[universal]] [[ideas]] — not closing the [[door]] and saying you have to be a [[Catholic]] in order for [[good]] things to happen. This is the kind of [[world]] [[leader]] that we need in a position of [[power]] that the pope has if we want [[hope]] for a more universal [[community]]. ~ [[w:Roy Speckhardt|Roy Speckhardt]] ]] 

===2013===
* '''The papacy is [[mysterious]] and [[magical]]: it turns a septuagenarian into a superstar while revealing almost nothing about the man himself.''' And it raises [[hopes]] in every corner of the [[world]] — hopes that can never be fulfilled, for they are irreconcilable. The elderly traditionalist who pines for the old Latin Mass and the devout young woman who wishes she could be a priest both have hopes. The ambitious monsignor in the Vatican Curia and the evangelizing deacon in a remote Filipino village both have hopes.''' No Pope can make them all [[happy]] at once.'''
** Howard Chua-Eoan and Elizabeth Dias, in [http://poy.time.com/2013/12/11/person-of-the-year-pope-francis-the-peoples-pope/print/ &quot;Pope Francis, The People’s Pope&quot; in ''TIME'' magazine (11 December 2013)]

* The five [[words]] that have come to define both the promise and the limits of Francis’ papacy came in the form of a question: “'''Who am I to [[judge]]?'''” That was his answer when asked about [[homosexuality]] by a reporter in July. Many assumed Francis, with those words, was changing church doctrine. Instead, he was merely changing its tone, searching for a [[pragmatic]] path to reach the [[faithful]] who had been repelled by their church or its emphasis on strict dos and don’ts. Years of working closely with parish priests have taught him that the church seemed more comfortable with narrow issues than [[human]] [[complexity]], and it lost congregants and credibility in the bargain. '''He is urging his army to think more broadly.'''
** Howard Chua-Eoan and Elizabeth Dias, in &quot;Pope Francis, The People’s Pope&quot; in ''TIME'' magazine (11 December 2013)

* '''Francis and [[Benedict XVI|Benedict]] appear to get on well: both men flatter each other, and Francis was especially generous with [[quotations]] from Benedict in his recent exhortation.''' In any case, Francis needs to keep his predecessor on his side, for it was Benedict who codified the conservative views of [[John Paul II]], the hero of many Catholics, particularly those on the right of the spectrum. &lt;br /&gt; Francis will continue the policy of both John Paul II and Benedict on détente and fraternal relations with [[Judaism]]. (Francis plans to visit [[Israel]] in May.) But with his experience working with the Muslim immigrant population of Argentina, Francis will extend a warmer hand toward Islam than Benedict, who famously infuriated that religion’s clerics with a scholarly aside in an otherwise innocuous speech. And he has proved himself amenable to Protestant, evangelical piety, scandalizing conservative Catholics in Argentina by kneeling and being blessed by Pentecostal preachers in a Buenos Aires auditorium. &lt;br /&gt; While still in his home country, the future Pope also said that priestly celibacy is a recent development (it dates to about the year 1000) and has seemed open to change. Again, in Argentina, he startled conservatives by attending the funeral of a rebel bishop who left the church to marry, comforting the deceased prelate’s widow, who used to concelebrate Mass with her husband.
** Howard Chua-Eoan and Elizabeth Dias, in &quot;Pope Francis, The People’s Pope&quot; in ''TIME'' magazine (11 December 2013)

* '''He talks about [[Christ]]’s [[love]] like a man who has found something wondrous and wants nothing more than to share it.''' “He is waiting for us,” Francis says. And when he comes to the end of his homily, the script drops once more. “This thought gives us [[hope]]! We are on the way to the Resurrection. And this is our [[joy]]: one day find [[Jesus]], meet Jesus and all together, all together — not here in the square, the other way — but joyful with Jesus. This is our [[destiny]].”
** Howard Chua-Eoan and Elizabeth Dias, in &quot;Pope Francis, The People’s Pope&quot; in ''TIME'' magazine (11 December 2013)

* He won’t wear the shoes. He doesn’t bait the gays, or hound the nuns, or call [[Mohammed]] “evil and inhuman,” or fear the mean-girl Vatican cardinals whose solid gold multi-millennium party he’s so genially wrecking. Instead Pope Francis spends his days publicly worrying about social justice, calling attention to the problems of runaway capitalism, and entreating people to be decent to one another.
** Joe Keohane, in [http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/pope-smiles-on-godless &quot;Leading Atheist: Pope Francis “Is The Kind Of World Leader We Need”&quot; at ''Esquire'' (12 September 2013)]

*If the [[Church]] becomes like him and becomes what he wants it to be, it will be an epochal [[change]].
** [[w:Eugenio Scalfari|Eugenio Scalfari]], in [http://www.repubblica.it/cultura/2013/10/01/news/pope_s_conversation_with_scalfari_english-67643118/ &quot;How the Church will change&quot; in ''La Repubblica'' (1 October 2013)], as translated from Italian to English by Kathryn Wallace

*I continue to be pleased with what Francis is talking about and his openness — despite papal authorities’ attempts to retract his statements. … He’s offering very universal ideas — not closing the door and saying you have to be a Catholic in order for good things to happen. This is the kind of world leader that we need in a position of power that the pope has if we want hope for a more universal community. … Had he been rigid and conservative in his approach, I think he really would have kept pushing on the backs of those who were ready to flee the church. So what he’s doing gives some solace to those who are a little more progressive, which is a growing number in the church. It gives a chance for those folks to remain involved. I think that from a Catholic standpoint he’s doing the right thing. He’s doing pretty much all he can do for the good of the Catholic Church.
**[[w:Roy Speckhardt|Roy Speckhardt]], Executive Director of the [[w:American Humanist Association|American Humanist Association]], as quoted in [http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/pope-smiles-on-godless &quot;Leading Atheist: Pope Francis “Is The Kind Of World Leader We Need”&quot; by Joe Keohane, at ''Esquire'' (12 September 2013)]

===2014===

* I want to thank His Holiness Pope Francis, whose [[moral]] example shows us the importance of pursuing the world as it should be, rather than simply settling for the world as it is…
** [[Barack Obama]], giving thanks to Francis for his involvement in initiating dialogue between the US and Cuba, in his [http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2014/12/17/statement-president-cuba-policy-changes &quot;Statement on Cuba Policy Change&quot; (17 December 2014)]

* Pope Francis had quite a 78th birthday. The pontiff began Wednesday with prayers and a birthday celebration with [[w:tango|tango]] [[dancers]] near St. Peter’s Square. His day ended with a historic diplomatic breakthrough between [[Cuba]] and the [[United States]] — and the disclosure that the Argentine pope played a [[key]] role as broker. &lt;br /&gt; '''Francis is being credited for helping bridge the divide by first sending letters to President [[Barack Obama|Obama]] and President [[w:Raúl Castro|Raúl Castro]] of Cuba, and then having the Vatican host a diplomatic meeting between the two sides in October.''' &lt;br /&gt; “The Holy Father wishes to express his warm congratulations for the historic decision,” Francis said in a statement released Wednesday night by the Vatican.
** Jim Yardley and Gaia Pianigiani, in [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/18/world/americas/breakthrough-on-cuba-highlights-popes-role-as-diplomatic-broker.html?google_editors_picks=true &quot;Pope Francis Credited With Crucial Role as Diplomatic Broker&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (17 December  2014)]

===2016===
*'''We couldn't have found a better person to take the bull by the horns and begin repairing our country's fracture.''' He's someone who truly knows the country and is served with good advisers. This election has encouraged us to place hope in the future and put aside our past of firearms, machetes and terrible destruction. Since the Holy Father's visit, we've felt a wind of change blowing through our country — there's been a total turnaround. '''He came as a messenger of mercy and urged reconciliation in our communities. This summons to peace and forgiveness was heard by former enemies and combatants and has now become something real, giving the new president a real chance for peace.'''
**Archbishop [[w:Dieudonné Nzapalainga|Dieudonné Nzapalainga]], head of the Central African Republic bishops' conference, on Pope Francis' trip to the [[Central African Republic]], as quoted in [http://stlouisreview.com/article/2016-03-04/stable-elections &quot;Stable elections in Central African Republic bring chance of peace&quot;, ''St. Louis Review'' (4 March 2016)]

* When the pope speaks about &quot;change,&quot; he is not talking about modest reforms or tinkering around the edges. He is talking about radical changes as to how the global economy functions, and in how we relate to the planet and to each other. Most importantly, he understands the urgency of the moment. We need real change now.
:* [[Bernie Sanders]], &quot;[https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/04/15/bernie-sanders-i-annotated-a-speech-by-pope-francis/?utm_term=.7cc2b5554d7b Bernie Sanders: I annotated a speech by Pope Francis]&quot;, ''Washington Post'', (April 15, 2016).

* Pope Francis has forcefully reminded us that greed, and the worship of money, is not what human existence should be about. At a time when the top 1 percent of the people on Earth own almost as much wealth as the bottom 99 percent, he has pointed out the immorality and inhumanity of a global economy which provides a handful of billionaires with incredible riches, while billions of people on this planet — the children, the elderly, the unemployed and the poor — are discarded and left behind.
:* [[Bernie Sanders]], &quot;[https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/04/15/bernie-sanders-i-annotated-a-speech-by-pope-francis/?utm_term=.7cc2b5554d7b Bernie Sanders: I annotated a speech by Pope Francis]&quot;, ''Washington Post'', (April 15, 2016).

* Pope Francis is not just asking us to alleviate poverty and move toward more equitable distribution of wealth and income. Nor is he simply requesting that we act boldly to combat climate change and save the planet. He is asking us to create a new form of society where the economy works for all, and not just the wealthy and the powerful. He is asking us to become a different kind of person, where our happiness and well-being comes from serving others and being part of the human community — not by spending our lives accumulating more and more wealth and power while oppressing others.
:* [[Bernie Sanders]], &quot;[https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/04/15/bernie-sanders-i-annotated-a-speech-by-pope-francis/?utm_term=.7cc2b5554d7b Bernie Sanders: I annotated a speech by Pope Francis]&quot;, ''Washington Post'', (April 15, 2016).

===2018===
*Pope Francis’ two-day visit to Ireland on August 25-26th comes at a time when people need hope. The Irish Church has been devastated by the abuse scandals, which have never been properly dealt with...Only in the last few years has the Catholic hierarchy recognized that clerical abuse has taken place. &lt;BR&gt;In 1978, Betty Williams and I had the privilege of a 30-minute private conversation with Pope John Paull II in the Vatican. Coming out of a violent conflict in Northern Ireland, we appealed to the Pope to reject the “Just War” theory and to bring forward a theology of nonviolence and peace for the Catholic Church. When Pope John Paul visited Ireland the following year he appealed to people to reject violence and build peace.&lt;BR&gt;However, we still wait for the Vatican to publish an encyclical on Christian nonviolence which would reject “Just War” theology. Pope Francis has called for the total abolition of nuclear weapons and for just peacemaking. His visit to Knock, while rightly focusing on the church’s abuse scandals, was a missed opportunity. He should have also called for the abolition of war and militarism, and for the return to Gospel nonviolence...&lt;BR&gt;In my opinion, an encyclical on nonviolence and disarmament from Pope Francis would give hope to us all and encourage us all to take up our responsibility to build a new culture of peace and nonviolence, not only in the Church and in Ireland, but throughout the whole world.
**[[Mairead Maguire]] [https://www.commondreams.org/views/2018/09/06/why-catholic-church-should-abolish-anti-christian-just-war-theory '''''Why the Catholic Church Should Abolish the Anti-Christian &quot;Just War&quot; Theory,''' Following Pope Francis' visit to Ireland, a reflection on abuse, violence, war, and peacemaking, Common Dreams'']       (6 September 2018) 

* There is a recent photo of Pope Francis doing the rounds on social media that shows him walking alone, without security people or a private secretary, across a Vatican courtyard. In the early days of his pontificate, it would have been seen as Francis breaking through the stuffy conventions of the Vatican: being his own man. Five years on, it is instead viewed as symbolic of Francis’s loneliness. Here is a man struggling to find allies or support from the Catholic faithful in his stalled efforts to reform the church and failing attempts to tackle [[w:Catholic Church sexual abuse cases|the abuse crisis]].
** [[Catherine Pepinster]], ''[https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jul/26/pope-francis-catholic-church-abuse-scandal-failed Pope Francis has utterly failed to tackle the church’s abuse scandal]'' (26 July 2018) , ''{{w|The Guardian}}''.

===2021===
*Pope Francis on Saturday thanked journalists for helping uncover the clerical sexual abuse scandals that the Roman Catholic Church initially tried to cover up. The pope praised what he called the &quot;mission&quot; of journalism and said it was vital for reporters to get out of their newsrooms and discover what was happening in the outside world to counter misinformation often found online. Francis was speaking at a ceremony to honour two veteran correspondents -- Philip Pullella of Reuters and Valentina Alazraki of Mexico's Noticieros Televisa -- for their long careers spent covering the Vatican. The sexual abuse scandals hit the headlines in 2002, when U.S. daily The Boston Globe wrote a series of articles exposing a pattern of abuse of minors by clerics and a widespread culture of concealment within the Church.
**Pope thanks journalists for helping expose Church sex scandals&quot;. ''Reuters.'' 13 November 2021

*Pope Francis celebrated his 85th birthday on Friday, a milestone made even more remarkable given the coronavirus pandemic, his summertime intestinal surgery and the weight of history: His predecessor retired at this age and the last pope to have lived any longer was Leo XIII over a century ago...  But Francis also is beset by problems at home and abroad and is facing a sustained campaign of opposition from the conservative Catholic right. He has responded with the papal equivalent of “no more Mr. Nice Guy.”
**[https://apnews.com/article/coronavirus-pandemic-pope-francis-health-religion-europe-2f733bf842c499eab9f06a48363a68df Pope at 85: Gloves come off as Francis’ reform hits stride,  Nicole Winfield, ''APNews,''] (December 17, 2021)

*After spending the first eight years of his papacy gently nudging Catholic hierarchs to embrace financial prudence and responsible governance, Francis took the gloves off this year, and appears poised to keep it that way.   Since his last birthday, Francis ordered a 10% pay cut for cardinals across the board, and slashed salaries to a lesser degree for Vatican employees, in a bid to rein in the Vatican’s 50-million-euro ($57 million) budget deficit.  To fight [[corruption]], he imposed a 40-euro ($45) gift cap for Holy See personnel. He passed a law allowing cardinals and bishops to be criminally prosecuted by the Vatican’s lay-led tribunal, setting the stage for the high-profile trial underway of his onetime close adviser, [[W:Cardinal Angelo Becciu|Cardinal Angelo Becciu]], on finance-related charges.&lt;BR&gt; Outside the Vatican, he hasn’t made many new friends, either. After approving a [[w:Catholic_Church_sexual_abuse_cases#Church_responses|2019 law outlining the way cardinals and bishops could be investigated for sex abuse cover-up, the past year saw nearly a dozen Polish episcopal heads roll]].  Francis also approved term limits for leaders of lay Catholic movements to try to curb their abuses of power, resulting in the forced removal of influential church leaders. He recently accepted the resignation of the Paris archbishop after a media storm alleging governance and personal improprieties.
**[https://apnews.com/article/coronavirus-pandemic-pope-francis-health-religion-europe-2f733bf842c499eab9f06a48363a68df Pope at 85: Gloves come off as Francis’ reform hits stride,  Nicole Winfield, ''APNews,''] (December 17, 2021)

*Russian President [[Vladimir Putin]] called Pope Francis Friday to congratulate him on his 85th birthday, praising the pontiff’s efforts to strengthen ties between the Vatican and Russia.  The Russian leader noted Francis’ “high global authority and his big personal contribution to the development of ties between Russia and the Vatican,” the Kremlin said in its readout. It added that Putin and the pope agreed to “continue joint efforts to uphold core spiritual and humanitarian values,” and emphasized the importance of a “constructive inter-religious dialogue.” The call followed Francis’ statement earlier this month that he had plans for a possible second meeting with the head of the Russian Orthodox Church, following their historic 2016 encounter in Cuba — the first-ever meeting between the leaders of the two churches. Francis said he planned to meet next week with a Russian church envoy to agree “on a possible meeting” with Patriarch Kirill... The two churches split during the Great Schism of 1054 and have remained estranged over a host of issues, including the primacy of the pope and Russian Orthodox accusations that the Catholic Church is poaching converts in former Soviet lands.
**[https://apnews.com/article/pope-francis-europe-religion-russia-vladimir-putin-7363319b73386129bef5cfd998bbf2ea Putin gives Pope birthday call, praises his global role, ''APNews,''] (17 December 2021)


==See also==
*[[Catholic Church]]

== External links == 
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons|Franciscus}}
{{Wikinews|Category:Pope Francis}}
* [http://www.vatican.va/ Vatican: the Holy See &amp;nbsp;– Vatican web site]
**[http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en.html Pope Francis — profiles and pronouncements]
** [http://www.news.va/en/news/biography-who-is-jorge-mario-bergoglio Vatican Web site: Official biography of '''Jorge Mario Bergoglio''' published on the occasion of the Conclave by the Holy See Press Office with the information provided by the cardinals themselves]
*{{Dmoz|Society/Religion_and_Spirituality/Christianity/Denominations/Catholicism/Popes/F/Francis/}}

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[[Category:Spiritual teachers]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Jessye Norman</title>
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      <text bytes="1175" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Jessye Norman Glimmerglass 2014 (cropped).jpg|thumb|Jessye Norman (2014)]]

'''[[w:Jessye Norman|Jessye Norman]]''' ([[September 15]], [[1945]] – [[September 30]], [[2019]]) was an American opera singer.

{{Musician-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* [[Herbert von Karajan]] always rolled out a magic carpet for us, the singers. With him, our musical work took on another dimension.
** Quoted in Hohn Rockwell (1989) &quot;[http://www.nytimes.com/1989/07/17/obituaries/herbert-von-karajan-is-dead-musical-perfectionist-was-81.html?pagewanted=all&amp;src=pm Herbert von Karajan Is Dead; Musical Perfectionist Was 81]&quot; in ''New York Times'', July 17, 1989
  
== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Norman, Jessye}}
[[Category:1945 births]]
[[Category:2019 deaths]]
[[Category:African Americans]]
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[[Category:American women]]
[[Category:People from Georgia (U.S. state)]]
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    <title>JoJo's Bizarre Adventure</title>
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      <comment>/* Red Hot Chili Pepper [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.11 - 3.12]]] */</comment>
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      <text bytes="207917" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|JoJo's Bizarre Adventure]]'''''  (ジョジョの奇妙な冒険, JoJo no Kimyō na Bōken) is an ongoing manga series created by Araki Hirohiko. It has been adapted into [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure OVA|an OVA]], [[w:List of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure episodes|five anime parts]], and [[w:List of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure video games|several video games]]. It has also spawned light novels, most notably including ''Rohan at the [[w:Louvre|Louvre]]'' and ''Kishibe Rohan Meets [[w:Gucci|Gucci]]''. Running since 1986, it is currently on its 8th part, ''[[w:JoJolion|JoJolion]]'', with a 9th part in development.

The anime currently has five seasons, covering the first six parts of the manga with ''Stone Ocean'' released worldwide on Netflix in December 2021 before its scheduled airing on Japanese television in January 2022.
 
__NOTOC__
&lt;!-- START TABLE OF CONTENTS --&gt;
{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot;
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
! align=left bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Part I.2C Phantom Blood|Phantom Blood]]:
| align=center | [[#Dio the Invader .5B1.01.5D|Dio the Invader]]
| align=center | [[#A Letter From the Past .5B1.02.5D|A Letter From the Past]]
| align=center | [[#Youth With Dio .5B1.03.5D|Youth With Dio]]
| align=center | [[#Overdrive .5B1.04.5D|Overdrive]]
| align=center | [[#The Dark Knights .5B1.05.5D|The Dark Knights]]
| align=center | [[#Tomorrow's Courage .5B1.06.5D|Tomorrow's Courage]]
| align=center | [[#Successor .5B1.07.5D|Successor]]
| align=center | [[#Bloody Battle.21 JoJo .26 Dio .5B1.08.5D|Bloody Battle! JoJo &amp; Dio]]
| align=center | [[#The Final Hamon.21 .5B1.09.5D|The Final Hamon!]]
|-
! align=left bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Part II.2C Battle Tendency|Battle Tendency]]:
| align=center | [[#New York's JoJo .5B1.10.5D|New York's JoJo]]
| align=center | [[#The Game Master .5B1.11.5D|The Game Master]]
| align=center | [[#The Pillar Man .5B1.12.5D|The Pillar Man]]
| align=center | [[#JoJo_vs._the_Ultimate_Lifeform_.5B1.13.5D|JoJo vs. the Ultimate Lifeform]]
| align=center | [[#Ultimate Warriors from Ancient Times .5B1.14.5D|Ultimate Warriors from Ancient Times]]
| align=center | [[#A Hero's Proof .5B1.15.5D|A Hero's Proof]]
| align=center | [[#Lisa_Lisa.2C_Hamon_Coach_.5B1.16.5D|Lisa Lisa, Hamon Coach]]
| align=center | [[#The Deeper Plan .5B1.17.5D|The Deeper Plan]]
| align=center | [[#Von Stroheim's Revenge .5B1.18.5D|Von Stroheim's Revenge]]
| align=center | [[#A Race Towards the Brink .5B1.19.5D|A Race Towards the Brink]]
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
| 
| align=center | [[#Young Caesar .5B1.20.5D|Young Caesar]]
| align=center | [[#A Hundred Against Two .5B1.21.5D|A Hundred Against Two]]
| align=center | [[#A True Warrior .5B1.22.5D|A True Warrior]]
| align=center | [[#The Warrior of Wind .5B1.23.5D|The Warrior of Wind]]
| align=center | [[#The Ties That Bind JoJo .5B1.24.5D|The Ties That Bind JoJo]]
| align=center | [[#The_Birth_of_a_Superbeing.21.21_.5B1.25.5D|The Birth of a Superbeing!!]]
| align=center | [[#The Ascendant One .5B1.26.5D|The Ascendant One]]
|-
! align=left bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Part_III.2C_Stardust_Crusaders|Stardust Crusaders]]:
| align=center | [[#A Man Possessed By an Evil Spirit .5B2.01.5D|A Man Possessed By an Evil Spirit]]
| align=center | [[#Who_Shall_Judge.21.3F_.5B2.02.5D|Who Shall Judge!?]]
| align=center | [[#DIO's Curse .5B2.03.5D|DIO's Curse]]
| align=center | [[#Tower of Grey .5B2.04.5D|Tower of Grey]]
| align=center | [[#Silver Chariot .5B2.05.5D|Silver Chariot]]
| align=center | [[#Dark Blue Moon .5B2.06.5D|Dark Blue Moon]]
| align=center | [[#Strength .5B2.07.5D|Strength]]
| align=center | [[#The Devil .5B2.08.5D|The Devil]]
| align=center | [[#Yellow Temperance .5B2.09.5D|Yellow Temperance]]
| align=center | [[#The Emperor and the Hanged Man 5B2.10_-_2.11.5D|The Emperor and the Hanged Man]]
|-
|
| align=center | [[#The Empress .5B2.12.5D|The Empress]]
| align=center | [[#Wheel of Fortune .5B2.13.5D|Wheel of Fortune]]
| align=center | [[#Justice 5B2.14_-_2.15.5D|Justice]]
| align=center | [[#The Lovers 5B2.16_-_2.17.5D|The Lovers]]
| align=center | [[#The Sun .5B2.18.5D|The Sun]]
| align=center | [[#Death 13 5B2.19_-_2.20.5D|Death 13]]
| align=center | [[#Judgement 5B2.21_-_2.22.5D|Judgement]]
| align=center | [[#The High Priestess 5B2.23_-_2.24.5D|The High Priestess]]
| align=center | [[#Iggy the Fool and Geb's N'Doul 5B2.25_-_2.26.5D|Iggy the Fool and Geb's N'Doul]]
| align=center | [[#Khnum's Oingo and Tohth's Boingo .5B2.27.5D|Khnum's Oingo and Tohth's Boingo]]
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
|
| align=center | [[#Anubis 5B2.28_-_2.29.5D|Anubis]]
| align=center | [[#Bastet's Mariah 5B2.30_-_2.31.5D|Bastet's Mariah]]
| align=center | [[#Set's Alessi 5B2.32_-_2.33.5D|Set's Alessi]]
| align=center | [[#D'Arby the Gambler 5B2.34_-_2.35.5D|D'Arby the Gambler]]
| align=center | [[#Hol Horse and Boingo 5B2.36_-_2.37.5D|Hol Horse and Boingo]]
| align=center | [[#The_Guardian_of_Hell.2C_Pet_Shop_.5B2.38_-_2.39.5D|The Guardian of Hell, Pet Shop]]
| align=center | [[#D'Arby the Player 5B2.40_-_2.41.5D|D'Arby the Player]]
| align=center | [[#The_Miasma_of_the_Void.2C_Vanilla_Ice_.5B2.42_-_2.44.5D|The Miasma of the Void, Vanilla Ice]]
| align=center | [[#DIO's World 5B2.45_-_2.47.5D|DIO's World]]
| align=center | [[#The Faraway Journey, Farewell Friends .5B2.048.5D|The Faraway Journey, Farewell Friends]]
|-
! align=left bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Part_IV.2C_Diamond is Unbreakable|Diamond is Unbreakable]]:
| align=center | [[#Jotaro_Kujo.21_Meets_Josuke_Higashikata|Jotaro Kujo! Meets Josuke Higashikata]]
| align=center | [[#Josuke_Higashikata.21_Meets_Angelo|Josuke Higashikata! Meets Angelo]]
| align=center | [[#The Nijimura Brothers|The Nijimura Brothers]]
| align=center | [[#Koichi_Hirose_.28Echoes.29|Koichi Hirose (Echoes)]]
| align=center | [[#Toshikazu Hazamada .28Surface.29|Toshikazu Hazamada (Surface)]]
| align=center | [[#Yukako Yamagishi Is In Love|Yukako Yamagishi Is In Love]]
| align=center | [[#Let's Go Out for Italian|Let's Go Out for Italian]]
| align=center | [[#Red Hot Chili Pepper|Red Hot Chili Pepper]]
| align=center | [[#Picked Up Something Bad.21|Picked Up Something Bad!]]
| align=center | [[#Let's Go Play at the Mangaka's House|Let's Go Play at the Mangaka's House]]
|-
|
| align=center | [[#Let's Go 'Hunting'.21|Let's Go 'Hunting'!]]
| align=center | [[#Rohan Kishibe's Adventure|Rohan Kishibe's Adventure]]
| align=center | [[#'Shigechi's' Harvest|'Shigechi's' Harvest]]
| align=center | [[#Yoshikage Kira Wants a Quiet Life|Yoshikage Kira Wants a Quiet Life]]
| align=center | [[#Yukako Yamagishi's Vision of Cinderella|Yukako Yamagishi's Vision of Cinderella]]
| align=center | [[#Sheer Heart Attack|Sheer Heart Attack]]
| align=center | [[#Atom Heart Father|Atom Heart Father]]
| align=center | [[#Yoshikage Kira's New Face|Yoshikage Kira's New Face]]
| align=center | [[#Janken Boy is Coming.21|Janken Boy is Coming!]]
| align=center | [[#I Am An Alien|I Am An Alien]]
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
|
| align=center | [[#Highway Star|Highway Star]]
| align=center | [[#The Cat That Likes Yoshikage Kira|The Cat That Likes Yoshikage Kira]]
| align=center | [[#The Man on the Tower|The Man on the Tower]]
| align=center | [[#Enigma Boy|Enigma Boy]]
| align=center | [[#My Dad Is Not My Dad.21|My Dad Is Not My Dad!]]
| align=center | [[#Cheap Trick|Cheap Trick]]
| align=center | [[#Another One Bites the Dust|Another One Bites the Dust]]
| align=center | [[#The Invincible Crazy D|The Invincible Crazy D]]
|-
! align=left bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Part_V.2C_Vento Aureo|Vento Aureo]]:
| align=center | [[#Gold Experience|Gold Experience]]
| align=center | [[#Buccellati is Coming|Buccellati is Coming]]
| align=center | [[#Meet the Gangster Behind the Wall|Meet the Gangster Behind the Wall]]
| align=center | [[#Joining the Gang|Joining the Gang]]
| align=center | [[#Find Polpo's Fortune|Find Polpo's Fortune]]
| align=center | [[# Moody Jazz's Counterattack| Moody Jazz's Counterattack]]
| align=center | [[#Six Bullets Appears|Six Bullets Appears]]
| align=center | [[#The First Mission from the Boss|The First Mission from the Boss]]
| align=center | [[#Hitman Team|Hitman Team]]
| align=center | [[#Narancia's Li'l Bomber|Narancia's Li'l Bomber]]
|-
|
| align=center | [[#The Second Mission from the Boss|The Second Mission from the Boss]]
| align=center | [[#Man in the Mirror and Purple Haze|Man in the Mirror and Purple Haze]]
| align=center | [[#Express Train to Florence|Express Train to Florence]]
| align=center | [[#The Grateful Dead|The Grateful Dead]]
| align=center | [[#Baby Face|Baby Face]]
| align=center | [[#Head to Venice!|Head to Venice!]]
| align=center | [[#White Album|White Album]]
| align=center | [[#The Final Mission from the Boss|The Final Mission from the Boss]]
| align=center | [[#The Mystery of King Crimson|The Mystery of King Crimson]]
| align=center | [[#The 'G' in Guts|The 'G' in Guts]]
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
|
| align=center | [[#Clash and Talking Head|Clash and Talking Head]]
| align=center | [[#Notorious B.I.G.|Notorious B.I.G.]]
| align=center | [[#Spice Girl|Spice Girl]]
| align=center | [[#A Little Story From The Past ~My Name Is Doppio~&quot;|A Little Story From The Past ~My Name Is Doppio~&quot;]]
| align=center | [[#King Crimson vs. Metallica|King Crimson vs. Metallica]]
| align=center | [[#Beneath a Sky on the Verge of Falling|Beneath a Sky on the Verge of Falling]]
| align=center | [[#Get to the Roman Colosseum!|Get to the Roman Colosseum!]]
| align=center | [[#.22Green_Day.22_and_.22Oasis.22|&quot;Green Day&quot; and &quot;Oasis&quot;]]
| align=center | [[#His Name is Diavolo|His Name is Diavolo]]
| align=center | [[#The Requiem Quietly Plays|The Requiem Quietly Plays]]
|-
|
| align=center | [[#Diavolo Surfaces|Diavolo Surfaces]]
| align=center | [[#King of Kings|King of Kings]]
| align=center | [[#Gold Experience Requiem|Gold Experience Requiem]]
| align=center | [[#The Sleeping Slave|The Sleeping Slave]]
|-
! align=left bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Part_VI.2C_Stone Ocean|Stone Ocean]]:
| align=center | [[#Stone Ocean|Stone Ocean]]
| align=center | [[#Stone Free|Stone Free]]
| align=center | [[#The Visitor|The Visitor]]
| align=center | [[#Prisoner of Love|Prisoner of Love]]
| align=center | [[#Ermes’s Stickers|Ermes’s Stickers]]
| align=center | [[#There's Six of Us.21|There's Six of Us!]]
| align=center | [[#Foo Fighters|Foo Fighters]]
| align=center | [[#Debt Collector Mary Lynn Manson|Debt Collector Mary Lynn Manson]]
| align=center | [[#Operation Savage Guardian|Operation Savage Guardian]]
| align=center | [[#Torrential Downpour Warning|Torrential Downpour Warning]]
|-
|
| align=center | [[#Kiss_of_Love_.26_Revenge|Kiss of Love &amp; Revenge]]
| align=center | [[#The Secret of Guard Westwood|The Secret of Guard Westwood]]
| align=center | [[#Burn Dragon's Dream|Burn Dragon's Dream]]
| align=center | [[#Birth of the .22Green.22|Birth of the &quot;Green&quot;]]
| align=center | [[#Here Comes Yo-Yo Ma.21|Here Comes Yo-Yo Ma!]]
| align=center | [[#F.F. - The Witness|F.F. - The Witness]]
| align=center | [[#Awaken|Awaken]]
| align=center | [[#Whitesnake - The Pursuer|Whitesnake - The Pursuer]]
| align=center | [[#Jail House Lock.21|Jail House Lock!]]
| align=center | [[#Bohemian Rhapsody|Bohemian Rhapsody]]
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
|
| align=center | [[#Sky High.21|Sky High!]]
| align=center | [[#Under World|Under World]]
| align=center | [[#Heavy Weather|Heavy Weather]]
| align=center | [[#The New Moon's Gravity|The New Moon's Gravity]]
| align=center | [[#C-Moon|C-Moon]]
| align=center | [[#Made In Heaven|Made In Heaven]]
|-
! align=left bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Part_VII.2C_Steel Ball Run|Steel Ball Run]]:
| align=center | [[#Introduction|Introduction]]
| align=center | [[#First Race|First Race]]
| align=center | [[#Interim|Interim]]
| align=center | [[#The Desert Born Outlaws|The Desert Born Outlaws]]
| align=center | [[#The Devil's Palm|The Devil's Palm]]
| align=center | [[#Gyro Zeppeli's Mission|Gyro Zeppeli's Mission]]
| align=center | [[#The Terrorist from a Faraway Country|The Terrorist from a Faraway Country]]
| align=center | [[#Tusk|Tusk]]
| align=center | [[#Scary Monsters|Scary Monsters]]
| align=center | [[#A Man's World|A Man's World]]
|-
|
| align=center | [[#The Green Tomb|The Green Tomb]]
| align=center | [[#Catch the Rainbow (On a Stormy Night...)|Catch the Rainbow (On a Stormy Night...)]]
| align=center | [[#Silent Way|Silent Way]]
| align=center | [[#The Land of Promises: Sugar Mountain|The Land of Promises: Sugar Mountain]]
| align=center | [[#Tubular Bells|Tubular Bells]]
| align=center | [[#Wrecking Ball|Wrecking Ball]]
| align=center | [[#Civil War|Civil War]]
| align=center | [[#Both Sides Now|Both Sides Now]]
| align=center | [[#Chocolate Disco|Chocolate Disco]]
| align=center | [[#D4C|D4C]]
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
|
| align=center | [[#Ticket to Ride|Ticket to Ride]]
| align=center | [[#Ball Breaker|Ball Breaker]]
| align=center | [[#Break My Heart, Break Your Heart|Break My Heart, Break Your Heart]]
| align=center | [[#High Voltage|High Voltage]]
| align=center | [[#The World of the Stars and Stripes|The World of the Stars and Stripes]]
|-
! align=left bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Part_VIII.2C_JoJolion|JoJolion]]:
| align=center | [[#Welcome to Morioh Town|Welcome to Morioh Town]]
| align=center | [[#His Name Is Josuke Higashikata|His Name Is Josuke Higashikata]]
| align=center | [[#Their Family Tree|Their Family Tree]]
| align=center | [[#The Lemon and the Tangerine|The Lemon and the Tangerine]]
| align=center | [[#Morioh Town: 1901|Morioh Town: 1901]]
| align=center | [[#Tsurugi Higashikata's Goal, and the Architect|Tsurugi Higashikata's Goal, and the Architect]]
| align=center | [[#King Nothing|King Nothing]]
| align=center | [[#Every Day Is a Summer Vacation|Every Day Is a Summer Vacation]]
| align=center | [[#Eldest Son: Jobin Higashikata|Eldest Son: Jobin Higashikata]] 
| align=center | [[#Follow the Rokakaka Tree!|Follow the Rokakaka Tree!]]
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
|
| align=center | [[#The Twins Are Coming to Town|The Twins Are Coming to Town]]
| align=center | [[#Hato's Boyfriend|Hato's Boyfriend]]
| align=center | [[#Walking Heart|Walking Heart]]
| align=center | [[#Dawn of the Higashikata Household|Dawn of the Higashikata Household]]
| align=center | [[#Dolomite's Blue Lagoon|Dolomite's Blue Lagoon]]
| align=center | [[#Mother and Child|Mother and Child]]
| align=center | [[#Escape from Mount Hanarero|Escape from Mount Hanarero]]
| align=center | [[#North of the Higashikata Household. The Orchard|North of the Higashikata Household. The Orchard]]
| align=center | [[#Orthopedic Surgeon Dr. Wu Tomoki|Orthopedic Surgeon Dr. Wu Tomoki]]
| align=center | [[#Please Come With Me. Doctor Wu|Please Come With Me. Doctor Wu]]
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
|
| align=center | [[#The Wonder of You|The Wonder of You]] 
| align=center | [[#TG University Hospital Head Doctor: Satoru Akefu|TG University Hospital Head Doctor: Satoru Akefu]]
| align=center | [[#Whole Lotta Love|Whole Lotta Love]]
| align=center | [[#Just Don't Move|Just Don't Move]]
| align=center | [[#The Ultimate Dilemma|The Ultimate Dilemma]]
| align=center | [[#Go Beyond|Go Beyond]]
| align=center | [[#When All Curses Are Broken|When All Curses Are Broken]]
|- style=&quot;border-bottom: 3px solid darkgray&quot;
| colspan=3 align=center bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Rohan at the Louvre|Rohan at the Louvre]]
| colspan=3 align=center bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#All Star Battle|All Star Battle]]
| colspan=3 align=center bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Catchphrases|Catchphrases]]
|- 
| colspan=3 align=center bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#Cast|Cast]]
| colspan=3 align=center bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#External links|External links]]
| colspan=3 align=center bgcolor=#EEEEEE | [[#References|References]]
|} &lt;!-- END TABLE OF CONTENTS --&gt;

== Part I, [[w:Phantom Blood|Phantom Blood]] ==

=== Dio the Invader [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.01]]] ===
:'''Dario''': Listen, Dio. I am not long for this world.
:'''[[w:Dio_Brando|Dio]]''': ...
:'''Dario''': When I die (cough cough) you get yourself to the Joestar mansion along with this letter. The fool thinks he owes me. This is your ticket to greatness. It's your only chance, Dio. Go out there and take this useless world for all you can get.
:(Later, at Dario's grave)
:'''Dio''' (monologue): Devil that you were, you drove mother to an early grave. I'm glad you're dead; may you burn for your sins. The riches that eluded your grasp -- I will claim them in excess. You lacked the cunning to take what you wanted, but I'll prevail! (Outloud) Now burn! *spits on his father's grave*
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: Bullies: Erina's a cry-baby! Erina's a cry-baby! Erina's a cry-baby!
:'''Jonathan''': Give her back her doll!
: Bully 1: Are you her friend?
:'''Jonathan''': I've never met her in my life!
:[Jonathan attacks, but is easily knocked down as the bully notices his handkerchief]
: Bully 1: Now that I know you're some rich man's kid, I've only just started!
:''[After Jonathan is beaten up by Erina's bullies, and Erina attempts to help him up.]''
:'''Jonathan''': ''Pant pant...'' Let me be! ''[Slaps Erina's hand away]'' Whatever you think, I did not do this for you!
:'''Erina''': !
:'''Jonathan''': I wish to conduct myself as a gentleman! A true gentleman is brave and comes to the aid of those in need. Even if it's a fight he has no chance of winning, he joins the fray! One day, I will get strong enough to win.
:[Jonathan walks off, learning his hankerchef behind for Erina to pick up.]
:'''Erina''' (reading the name): Jonathan Joestar.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''': You must be Dio.
:'''Dio''': And you must be Jonathan, heir of the Joestars.
:'''Jonathan''': That is Danny, my loyal and steadfast friend. Don't worry, Danny knows not to pounce on strangers.
:[As Danny approaches, Dio kicks the Great Dane upside his head to Jonathan's horror]
:'''Jonathan''': What was that for?! How dare you!
:'''Dio''' (monologue): So this is the brat I must usurp. He wears his heart on his sleeve and is quick to anger....This pampered fool is nothing for the likes of Dio Brando!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''': (While grabbing Jonathan by his ear after knocking him over) Know this. I may be your guest in your home but I'm not one to be trifled with. In all things, I am number one! Look down upon me and you will regret it!
: '''Jonathan''': But Dio, I want us to be friends-
:'''Dio''': And another thing, I despise all mongrels. They don't scare me, I just can't stand them fawning over the unworthy. So keep your mangy mutt away from me, Joestar!&quot; 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''' (monologue, after beating Jonathan in a boxing match): Loneliness will devour a man from within. I'll reduce JoJo to a an empty husk. Bit by devious bit, I'll steal the life he was meant to have. By the time we're grown, there'll be nothing left of him!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''' (After forcefully kissing Erina on the lips): Tell me... Have you and JoJo kissed yet? I'll take that as a no. You thought your first kiss would be JoJo, but [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/it-was-me-dio it was I, Dio]! (Monologue) I've killed their romance before it began. I'll deny JoJo the comfort of friendship AND love!!
:[He then sees Erina washing her lips with a muddy puddle, infuriating him.]
:'''Dio''': YOU UNGRATEFUL WENCH! HOW DARE YOU THINK MY KISS IS SOMETHING TO BE WASHED! (monologue) Hold yourself, you damnable fool. She's not worth it.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''' (Storming into his home in rage): &quot;DIIIIIOOOOOO!&quot;
:'''Dio''': &quot;Hush, boy! You won't speak my name in vain again if you know what's good for you!&quot;
:'''Jonathan''': &quot;We end this now! I won't let you sully an innocent maiden's honor! Your fight with me, damn it!&quot;
:'''Dio''': Upset about Erina? That she shared her favors with me. And now you intend to give me a proper thrashing for my impudence.&quot;
:'''Jonathan''': [charging Dio] &quot;This time, Dio, YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR!!&quot; 
:'''Dio''': You may be right, but you're the one who will PAY! [knocks the wind of out Jonathan] Looking to repeat your performance from our boxing match, be my guest! [Overpowers Jonathan before knocking him into the wall.]
:'''Jonathan''' (monologue): &quot;I can't beat him. But if I lose now, I'll spend the rest of my life cowering in Dio's shadow. Most of all, I have to fight for Erina's honor.. She needs a champion!&quot;
: [Dio throws his shirt as he is about to finish the fight.]
:'''Dio''' (monologue): &quot;Time to put an end to this little pissing match. I'll beat him here in his own home. Once and for all, he'll know his proper place in this world is under my heel! He'll see that it's useless to try and defeat me! I shall be master, now and always!&quot;
: [Jonathan attempts to charge at Dio]
:'''Dio''': &quot;Come on!&quot;
: [Dio kicks Jonathan in the face.]
:'''Dio''' (monologue): &quot;Perfect! Right in the face!&quot;
: [However, Jonathan grabs Dio's head to counter.]
:'''Dio''': &quot;How are you able to grab me after such a blow to the head?! Perhaps I was too gentle with you!&quot;
:[Dio suddenly finds himself getting pummeled on by Jonathan]
:'''Jonathan''' (pummeling Dio): DIOOO! I'm going to beat you until you cry like a baby, Dio!
:'''Dio''' (monologue): &quot;Impossible! Impossible! How could a pampered brat like him best me in a fight?&quot;
:'''Dio''': Y--- You… How--- How dare you…?! Bastard! How dare you strike me?!
:'''Jonathan''': Dio’s crying.
:'''Dio''': I’ll make you regret that, you filthy cur!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''' (monologue): &quot;Once I learned to control my temper, I will be invincible to even the likes of him.&quot;

=== A Letter From the Past [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.02]]] ===
:'''[[w:Dio_Brando|Dio]]''' (monologue): For seven years, I have to make nice with that buffoon. But now that I am of age, it is time for my plan to reach its fruition. At long last, the Joestar fortune will be mine. And Devil take anyone who tries to stop me.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''' (forced to swear on Dario's name that he was not poisoning George): How can I swear...on the honor of the man who had none...? HE DESERVED TO DIE! HOW'S THAT FOR THE TRUTH, JOJO?!
:'''Jonathan''': (blocks Dio's punch) You gave me all the proof I need. I know not what compelled you to murder Dario, but murdered him you did. (blocks an attempted thumb-jab to the eye) You'll hurt father never again! (flings Dio over the stairs)
:'''Dio''': Damn your eyes...
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robert E. O. Speedwagon''': You do the honors, Tattoo.
:'''Tattoo''': Right!
:'''Robert E. O. Speedwagon''': Use that shiv of yours to slice him open! I want his guts for garters!
:'''Jonathan''': Ogre Street is aptly named.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tattoo'''(to Jojo after he grabbed his knife): Check out this idiot! He grabbed by blade! In all my days, I've never seen the like! Stuck, ain't ya? One quick yank and you'll be picking your fingers out of the snow for a fortnight.
:'''Jonathan''': Try it, then! The moment you pull, my foot will kick out at your groin with all the force of a sledgehammer! I'm willing to see our transaction through. Are you, sirrah?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robert E. O. Speedwagon''': If you're lookin' to lose body parts, do stick around! Observe! (Reveals the blades on his bowler hat) I'll mince ya right finely, with a tip of the hat. And now we dance!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robert E. O. Speedwagon''': I took the lad for an easy mark. Guess I've been right disabused of that notion!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robert E. O. Speedwagon''': I wanna know the name of him who spared me.
:'''Jonathan''': Jonathan Joestar.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: Drunkard 2 (takes out a knife after seeing his friend get hurt by Dio): Just for that, I'm gonna cut you!
: '''Dio''' (to drunkard): Ohh. Your threat has been quaking in my boots, you old guttersnipe. How will I escape this mortal peril? How about I use this? (Takes out the mask.) It's for JoJo. But you'll make a nice guinea pig.
: Drunkard 2: Just die already!
:[Dio plants the mask on the drunkard, using his knife to slit the first drunkard's throat. The mask activates, but ends anti-climatically.]
: '''Dio''': You've disappointed me, mask.
:[Dio is about to leave when the a now-vampirized drunkard attacks him, grabbing Dio by the throat while sucking the blood out of him.]
: Drunkard 2: It's odd. I've been drinking through the night, but suddenly I've got such a brutal thirst.
: '''Dio''' (monolongue while screaming in pain): So this is the power of the Stone Mask?...I have such plans. Must the last thing I see on this world be this damnable sunrise!?
:[The vampirized drunkard is reduced to dust to Dio's shock.]

=== Youth With Dio [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.03]]] ===
:'''Speedwagon''' (to Dio): Right about now, you're probably wondering who I am. Allow me to elucidate ya! The name is Robert E. O. Speedwagon! I had a hunch Jonathan's run of trouble might not be done, so I followed him back home. I like you, Jonathan, so I'm gonna offer up this little tidbit pro bono: living in the gutter, you learn to spot lowlifes pretty quick if you want to see tomorrow. I've trained my nose to sort out the bad ones from the good just from a sniff. This fellow reeks of brimstone and blood worse than anyone I've ever laid eyes on!
:[Speedwagon kicks a candle which Dio instinctively dodges]
:'''Speedwagon''': He is PURE EVIL, right down to his very bones! Is he a victim of circumstance, you're wondering? Not on your life! He's been evil since he drew his first breath!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''[[w:Dio_Brando|Dio]]'''ː JoJo, it was hubris that led me to this ignominious end. This fall from grace has taught me a valuable lesson. However one may scheme or assemble, my downfall this night is part of the human condition... A condition that I now forsake.
:'''Jonathan''': Wait, forsake? What do you mean?
:'''Dio''': You see, I am about to become so much more! ''[Brandishes the Stone Mask] Help me shed this mortal skin!
:'''Jonathan''': Mother's mask!
:'''Dio''': JoJo! Your blood is the key!
: [George intercepts the stab wound.]
:'''Speedwagon''': Oh my god!
:'''Jonathan''': FATHER!
:[Dio laughs as he puts on the mask while activating it with George's blood while being gunned down by the constables.]
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''': Father, hang on. The Doctor's on his way.
: '''George Joestar:''' JoJo...don't hate Dio for what he's done. I am to blame for this. I was hard on you because you're a Joestar. I went too easy on Dio and he might have felt I didn't care. Perhaps he did this for want of a father's love. Please... See that he's buried...next to Dario...
:'''Jonathan''': Father...
: '''George Joestar:''' Don't look so sad, JoJo... Where better to die...than in the arms...of my...son...?
: '''Constables:''' Sir Joestar!
: '''Head Constable:''' We lost much this night. A noble man's soul...has been taken from the world.
:'''Speedwagon''': You're wrong! All that was good in that man, he passed it along to Jonathan, every bit of it! You can be sure JoJo's gonna live an upright life, using what his father gave him. Rich folks are rubbish. Watching 'em flounce around, I wanna throw the whole lot of them into the Thames! But not the Joestars. They're heroic and merciful and, just...the whole damn lot of them are giants among men!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''' (After getting shot in the head by Speedwagon): JoJo, I should thank you for the source of my newfound power! Your father's blood...and the ancient stone mask! WRRRYY...
:'''Jonathan''' (watching Dio kill a constable): He takes his very life, but how is that possible! Dio, you villain, what sort of monster have you become?ǃ
:[Dio tosses the constable at the others, killing them instantly while knocking Speedwagon down]
:'''Speedwagon''': UWHOOAH?ǃ
:'''Jonathan''': [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/even-speedwagon-is-afraid ''Even Speedwagon is afraid!''] &lt;ref&gt;''Phantom Blood 01, Youth with Dio &lt;small&gt;Part 2&lt;/small&gt;'', p. 36&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''' (looking for Jonathan, seeing the blood flowing from a curtain): You were a fool to attack me. I have disowned my weakness in favor of life everlasting! You're behind the curtain like Polonius. And like Polonius, it is there that you shall meet your end! (Pulls the curtain, only to be set on fire.)
:'''Jonathan''': No one's immortal! Not even you!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''': Know this, it ends here! You will not leave this place alive!
:'''Speedwagon''': No! That's lunacy- (Gets backed out of the manor by a backdraft.)
:'''Dio Brando''' (walking up the wall after Jonathan): Luring me away from the gutter rat? How very noble of you. No matter. I'll drain you dry, and your blood will help me amend from this little adventure. You climb the wall in vain, JoJo. In your haste to flee from me, all you had done is guarantee your doom. You will be consumed tonight, by the inferno below or by me.
: '''Jonathan''' (thought): Father...Rest in peace. Let the smoke guide your soul to heaven. But first, please lend me your strength one final time. Let the fire burn around you.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the fight between Dio and Jonathan in the burning mansion, while Jonathan is clinging to Dio.]''
:'''[[w:Dio_Brando|Dio]]''': Die for nothing, fool!
:''[Dio kicks Jonathan away; Jonathan screams as he begins to fall into the flames.]''
:'''[[w:Dio_Brando|Dio]]''' All I lose is the sacrifice of your blood I would've taken. Blacken and burn among the bones of your damnable father, Jojo!  I am a god in all but name! With the powers at my command, I will rule this world! Thank you, brother, for this great boon!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio Brando''' (Thought) I crushed his arm bones to splinters and he's already ablaze, but his grip on me is still that of a vice! (Out loud) So be it JoJo! Consign us onto the flame! But, perish knowing that I will survive this moment! For everything you have done, even this inferno cannot devour me!!
: '''Jonathan''': FATHEEEEEER! LEND ME YOUR POWER!
:[Through luck, Jonathan managed to propel himself out of his burning home while impaling Dio on the statue of Venus as he is horrifically burned alive.]
:'''[[w:Dio_Brando|Dio]]''': AAAAHHHHHHH!!! (monologue) HOW COULD A WORM LIKE YOU-!? I-I forgot who I was dealing with! Bloody his nose, and he comes back twice as fierce! (out loud) JOJO!! (monologue) I have such plans for this world!! Such...plans!!

=== Overdrive [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.04]]] ===
:'''Speedwagon''': Jonathan won his fight against that fiend...But he lost a lot. Poor sod. He's been in hospital for three days now... Losing his father and home, he's completely alone in the world now! I want to give him a reason to live! Don't give up on the world, JoJo!...
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Speedwagon''': Spirit! That's what he needs, and I am to give it to him!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Speedwagon''': It's late at night, but there's a lamp coming from his room. (Looks inside) This is- That woman... I'm surprised a nurse would stay with him so late! Her hands are bruised! She's soothed his burns with ice water hundreds, no, thousands of times! 
: (Jonathan wakes up.)
:'''Erina''': Thank goodness... 
:'''Speedwagon''': He's conscious!
:'''Erina''': The worst is over. You'll be okay now.
:'''Jonathan''': Have you... Been taking care of me this whole time? You... I can't believe you're here! I remember... No, you can't be... That's impossible... You look like a girl I used to know...
: Nurse: Her name wouldn't be by chance Erina Pendleton, would it? It has been a long time, Jonathan Joestar.... JoJo.
: '''Jonathan''': Erina! You've grown!
: '''Erina''': Me? Not as much as you. But... (gets teary) It really has been so long...
: [Speedwagon takes his leave]
:'''Speedwagon''': She makes a better Florence Nightingale than I do, anyhow. You rest up, JoJo. Speedwagon withdraws coolly.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Jack the Ripper''' (killing a harlot he lured to murder): Shoulda made an early night about it, harlot! Big mistake!
: '''Dio''': Most men's hearts are restrained by mortal, recoiling in fear from the fabulous fruits of evil. But some do not constrain themselves to the mortality and its tyranny. They are the Vanguard. Serve me, Jack the Ripper. Submit yourself to me, and I shall give powers beyond your belief. I ask for only one thing in return.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''': He's been watching us for a while now.
:'''Erina''': Is something wrong?
:'''Jonathan''': Oh, noth—
:'''Will Zeppeli''': Signor Joestar, I presume? And the lass by your side must be Signora Erina Pendleton.
:'''Jonathan''': Who are you!?
:'''Will Zeppeli''': You survived the Stone Mask! Not many can claim that!
: [He hits Jonathan in the stomach, causing him to kneel over.]
:'''Erina''': JoJo!
:'''Will Zeppeli''': That's it... Breathe out every last ounce of air in your lungs!
:'''Erina''': Why? He was wounded already, you cad!
:stranger: I knocked the wind out of him, but he'll thank me for it.
:'''Jonathan''' (while his body full heals): What!? What's happening to my body!? My arm!
:'''Will Zeppeli''': Baron Zeppeli, at your service. Courage alone will not defeat the stone mask.
:'''Jonathan''': The compound fracture in my arm... it barely hurts anymore! I can even lift this heavy rock!
:'''Erina''': I can't believe it!
:'''Jonathan''': What did you do!? Who... No, what are you!?
:'''Will Zeppeli''': One question at a time, JoJo. It's nothing I did. Your breath quelled your pain on its own. Achoo!
:'''Jonathan''': Why did you do this!? How do you even know my- (Zepelli is no where to be seen) He's gone.
:'''Will Zeppeli''': What part of &quot;one question at a time&quot; eluded you? Follow me, amigo, and I shall show you. But know this, what you are about to see will change your destiny forever!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Dio''' (killing a girl for her blood): With each meal, a bit of my strength returns... What a simple thing, the food chain. As pigs feed on grass, so does man feed upon them. And I, at the top of it all, feed upon the humans. They exist to serve me and quell my thirst. (crushes the dead woman's skull) Go, Jack, it’s supper time. 
:(The zombified Jack eats the girl's corpse)
: '''Dio''': Now to swell the ranks of my diabolical army and send it hence. I will stand astride this world! Humanity will kneel at Dio Brando’s feet!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''': Why did we stop?
:'''Speedwagon''': Oi, mate! Hurry it up!
:'''Jonathan''': Keep an eye out! Sunlight can't protect us in here!
:'''Speedwagon''': Well? What's wrong?
: [Speedwagon screams seeing the cabman dead with a severed horse head on his shoulders.]
:'''Jonathan''': Is it Dio? It has to be him.
:'''Will Zeppeli''': Listen, both of you. Step away from the horses.
:[Jack emerges from the body of one of the headless horses]
:'''Speedwagon''': What in the blue hell?! That crazy blighter's inside a horse! Good God! This one's mad as a hatter! Dio's evil, yeah, but I ain't seen him jump out of any animal so far!
:'''Jonathan''': He must be gathering minions, and who knows how many he might have!
:'''Will Zeppeli''': Stand aside, my young friends. I'll do the fighting. He is a zombie. They must feed on living flesh to survive. However, they are in constant thrall to their master, not unlike marionettes.
:'''Jack the Ripper''': Oh, you lads is both as white as a sheet. All the blood is drained from your faces. Maybe I should cut off those useless heads of yours, and watch it spray out of you necks? (stabs a knife into his face) Now, you milted corpses-to-be, prepare for the carnage!
:'''Will Zeppeli''': Tell me, what's his next move? You must think as he does. JoJo, this strategy will serve you in good stead. Ask yourself, what would be the most advantageous thing for my foe to do next? Him, for example. If he blocks off the tunnel's entrance, we can't retreat into the sunlight!
: (Jack grabs the carriage)
:'''Will Zeppeli''': Just as I predicted, he's blocked our retreat! 
:'''Jonathan''': Speedwagon, jump!
:[Jack forces knives out from his body.]
:'''Jonathan''': Knives are coming out of him!
:'''Speedwagon''': Baron Zeppeli, you didn't say nothin' about fighting a pincushion!
:'''Will Zeppeli''': Hamon Cutter! I'm afraid your blades are rather dull compared by Hamon Cutter.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Will Zeppeli''': JoJo, this creature illustrates a principle. Imagine a miniscule flea, so small that it’s barely visible. Why is it they bite humans who tower over them without a single thought to their own safety? Would you call their behavior “courageous”? Of course not, it’s hunger compelling them. 
:[Jack charges Zepelli]
:'''Will Zeppeli''': I will tell you what courage is, JoJo! Courage is to look your fear in the eye and know that it has no dominion over you! Fear scatters your breathing. When you toss your fear into the dust, breathing is the sword ever at your hip! Breathe with courage and you will never want for Hamon. Bravery is our birthright, lads! And for all the abilities they may bring into a battle, courage is something a zombie relinquished when he took this form! THEY’RE NO BETTER THAN FLEAS! SENDO WAVE KIIIIIIICK!!!
:[Damages Jack's  face]
:'''Will Zeppeli''': A knee to the face seems to made our friend here lose his braggadocio.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Will Zeppeli''': JoJo, you can finish him off. Destroy the brain, It's the only way. Anything else and risk him coming back again.
:'''Jack the Ripper''': Time for the slaughter, you naughty pigs! (pulls a lever, that opens a secret passage that he escapes into) I'll cut you all one by one!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Will Zeppeli''': I leave you this clue, &quot;There were no Vikings in the land of Norway until the North Wind came and created.&quot; If you as so much spill a drop of viento....I do not care how well you utterly defeat him, I will abandon you here and now!
:'''Speedwagon''': Oi! Have you lost your mind!?
:'''Will Zeppeli''': I know what I'm doing!
:'''Jonathan''': I understand. I will be like Vikings and brave this hardship.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Will Zeppeli''': The harsh wind blowing down over the Arctic Ocean birthed the fearsome Vikings. Only when we are tossed headlong into the crucible of adversity do we rise to the challenge. What will a glass of vino create this night? If he should fail, Dio has already won.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Jonathan''': I found you, zombie! Stone wall will not protect you! SENDO HAMON...OVERDRIVE! (channels his Hamon through the wall)
:'''Jack the Ripper''': Turn the corner so I can feast on you! (Gets hit by Hamon, knocking him back as his body dissolves)
: '''Zeppeli''': It seems you've passed the test with flying colors, JoJo. Boreas has fathered another Viking!

=== The Dark Knights [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.05]]] ===
:'''Jonathan''': What happened?!
:'''Zeppeli''': Uh, well, Speedwagon has been begging me to share in your power. I meant to help him create just a little bit of Hamon as I did that first day with you. It seems I was too rough. Did my finger slip? Un migliaio di scuse (''A thousand excuses''), my dear Speedwagon.
:'''Speedwagon''' (groaning): In English, please
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Chasing after Poco.]''
:'''Zeppeli''': That sounded wonderful, JoJo. I see you've learned the Overdrive well.
:'''Jonathan''': So I should stand here, right?
:'''Zeppeli''': No, try two paces to the left. Two pounds say I'm right.
: '''Poco''': Huh? What just shocked me!?
:[The boy is grabbed by Jonathan]
: '''Zeppeli''': Molto benio
: '''Poco''': Huh? What? Who are you?
:'''Jonathan''': Something's wrong with this boy. Did I overdo it with my Hamon?
:'''Zeppeli''': No, It's not just him. Look around us.
:'''Jonathan''': This is-
:'''Speedwagon''': A graveyard!
: [Zombies grab their legs]
:'''Zeppeli''': Seems like we're the &quot;nice catch&quot; here. The boy must have been hypnotized.
:'''Speedwagon''': Jonathan! It's him!
:'''Dio''': The sun has set... You will not live to see another!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Speedwagon''': I’ve been trying to steel my spine leading up to this little tete-a-tete, but it’s like the Grim Reaper’s breathing down me neck! I’m all a-sweat! How am I supposed to find my courage when my monster’s staring right at us, huh?! Sir Joestar loved him, and all he got for his troubles was death! Listen, you! You are gonna pay for it!
:'''Zeppeli''' So this is Dio Brando. He and the zombies can't attack us while we stand in the sunlight...But in a field of darkness and carrion, he sees us as easy pickings. A man of such guile cannot have the stone mask! He must be perished from the world at all costs!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Zeppeli''' You must be Dio Brando. Jonathan and Speedwagon told me about you. To the mask you have in your possession, I say this...I will break you!
: '''Dio''': WRYYYYY!
:'''Zeppeli''': Hey, bambino! Do you really want to fight on such uneven footing? Get down here!
:'''Dio''': Insect, who do you think you are? I am the pinnacle of all creation... To mere men, I am but a god to them... Do you believe I would lower myself to match a mere man? (projects his hatred as a shockwave that nearly knocks Zepelli off his feet)
:'''Zeppeli''' I was nearly knocked down with a burst of pure hate. Already this Dio has the presence of tyrant!
:'''Dio'''(showing off the last of his injuries): The injuries from my battle with JoJo are gone, save for this! Come, charlatan, and relinquish your blood to remove this last imperfection.
:'''Zeppeli''': Tell me...To undo your injuries, how many innocent lives did you consume?
:'''Dio''': I do not know. How many loaves of bread have you eaten in your lifetime?
:'''Zeppeli''': !!
:'''Jonathan''': DIO!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''': You should save your breath. You're going to need it for all the screaming I have in store for you! Tarukus! Bruford! Arise and fight at my command! Make their screams resound as testament to my power!
:[The two knights arrive]
: '''Speedwagon''': Where did are they come from!?
:'''Jonathan''': Hide, Poco!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Speedwagon''': I can read people like a book, and these two are full of stories Speedwagon don't wanna hear, thank you kindly!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''': They are knights, casualties of Queen Elizabeth's machinations against Mary, Queen of Scots, in the 15th Century. I leave them to you. Dispose of these vermin, in whichever way you will!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tarukus''': Elizabeth, you serpent! You took us for fools and murdered Mary anyways!
:'''Bruford''': I may die this day, but my hatred for you and your wretched family shall linger forever.
:Knights: Curses on you, queen!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''': Their story of betrayal touched a nerve. From the earth, I've brought them life anew! I life they are mighty, now they are invincible!
:'''Tarukus''': Ureeyyy... We have sworn fealty to Dio...
:'''Bruford''': We will laid waste this world! It is beyond redemption!
:'''Speedwagon''': The hatred they bore when they died had 300 years to ferment! Dio turned their knighthood into monsters! Have your wits about you, JoJo
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bruford''':  This whelp is a champion of his time. He will make good practice in the art of war.
: Zombie: This is one's flesh is mine! Oh yes! I already taste his cartilage!
:'''Jonathan''': Another Zombie?!
:'''Bruford''': He is our prey! Be away with you, you glutton! (knocks the zombie away) 
:'''Jonathan''': (thought) He moves at infernal speed!
:'''Bruford''': Milord Dio! This whelp's courage intrigues me! Allow me to face him in solo combat and strike him down!
:'''Dio''': Do as you like.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[After Bruford and Jonathan hit the water, with Tarukus keeping Speedwagon and Zeppeli from interfering.]
:'''Dio''': (Thought) Jonathan is good as dead. He cannot match Bruford underwater. (Outloud) I shall go. There is no reason for me to remain! I shall turn this sleepy village into a necropolis. The zombies I'll create will devour England like a plague, and then the world!

=== Tomorrow's Courage [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.06]]] ===
:''[During the fight with the Dark Knight Bruford]''
:'''Bruford''': This is itǃǃ The coup de gras -- I shall slice off your head and bathe myself in your life-giving blood!
:'''Jonathan''': ...
:'''Speedwagon''': MISTER JOESTAAAARǃǃ
:'''Zeppeli''': What?!
:''[Bruford swings his sword at Jonathan.]''
:'''Jonathan''': I THINK NOT!ǃ HWAAAHHǃ
:''[Jonathan stops Bruford's sword with his foot.]''
:'''Jonathan''': Water's not the only thing that conducts Hamonǃ '''METAL SILVER OVERDRIVEǃǃ''' 
:''[Disarms Bruford]
:'''Zeppeli''': Amazing! He channeled Hamon through Bruford's sword and hoist his pinard!
:'''Jonathan:''' How my heart resonates! I'm pulsing with heat and life! My very blood is a symphony within me! '''SUNLIGHT YELLOW OVERDRIVE!&quot;'''&lt;ref&gt;''Phantom Blood 03, Tarkus and the Dark Knight Bruford &lt;small&gt;Part 4&lt;/small&gt;'', p. 37-41&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Speedwagon''': He did it! 'Bout time we heard the crackle of Hamon!
:'''Jonathan:''' (Monolongue) Bruford...For a moment, I felt something a miss. His past only complicates his current state. Take heart, JoJo. That man is no longer here. He's a zombie who intends to spread his evil! You must be the one to stop him!
:'''Bruford''': I am the Black Knight Bruford! It will take more than pain to stop me!
:'''Jonathan:''': A moment ago, you said this pain was nothing. That means… pain is something you can feel again.
:'''Zeppeli''': The flowers, they’re blooming all around him. Even now, the Hamon ravages the evil that animates Bruford’s long dead corpse. You see, the long-forgotten pain came back. Only humans know that sort of ache. Observe, my dear Speedwagon. His zombie body succumbs to the Hamon, but his noble soul is redeemed in the process.
:'''Bruford''': I have now reached a bizarre peace. I no longer resent this world... How ironic that I granted life anew, only to be struck down with gratitude to the one who fell me a second time... And now I shall return to my true master...I would like to know the name of he who bested me. Would you do me that honor?
:'''Jonathan''': Jonathan Joestar.
:'''Bruford''': Sir Jonathan... I leave you this sword, given to me by my precious Queen, and the word engraved upon it: luck. [Bruford uses his blood to add a 'P' to the beginning of the word 'luck' engraved onto his sword.] But first, let me affix my own benediction: pluck.
:[Bruford dies.]
:'''Jonathan''': Sir Bruford! &lt;ref&gt;''Phantom Blood 03, Sleep as a Hero'', p. 52-53&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''': Rest in peace, Bruford. You've earned it. Such irony! Such a bizarre fate! Why did I have to kill him to save his soul!? Even sent to his death cursing the world, he had such pride! He had such a noble heart! But he had no say in being dragged back by Dio, and the power of the stone mask! I shall them both to Hell before the dawn breaks!
:'''Speedwagon''': JoJo! Behind you!
:'''Jonathan''': Tarukus!
:[Taruku smashes Burford's armor]
:'''Jonathan''': You villain! That was the armor of a steadfast friend and comrade! He died with honor and dignity!
:'''Tarukus''': HE DIED LIKE A SPINELESS DOG! He was too clever by half, liked winning his fights by thinking. I just hit ‘em until they fall to pieces! What use have I got for clever? I carry a sword as tall as a man! None of you will get an easy death! UYYYURRY!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Speedwagon:''' Tarukus rammed straight into the wall!
:'''Zeppeli''': Thank your stars he did. Unlike their master, Dio's minions are not able to regenerate! He will not bother us!
:[He sees Tarukus still alive and moving]
:'''Zeppeli''': He's nothing more than bloodlust given flesh! Even with his bones smashed to smithereens... He keeps climbing! Our goal is to defeat Dio, but we cannot with Tarukus dogging us like this. He must be dealt with, here and now! JoJo, it's perilous! Take the lad there within!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tarukus''': It's been so long... Three centuries since my last deathmatch in the Lair of the Two-Headed Dragon...I've killed 48 men in here! Killing's an art, and I'm a master!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:Poco's Sister: Poco. You letting them beat you up again, weren't you? When are you going to stand up for yourself?
:'''Poco''': I...bloodied their noses!
:Poco's Sister: When? Tomorrow? A year?
:'''Poco''': I don't know...
:Poco's Sister: Poco, what frightens you more than anything else?
:[Poco gets slapped in the face.]
:Poco's Sister: I know that hurt, but you’re still in one piece. Pain’s not the worse thing. There’s something far worse. It’s growing up being too afraid to do anything. What kind of a life would that be?
:'''Poco''': I... sorry, sis!
:Poco's Sister: There, there, Poco. Let's go home and get your clothes cleaned up.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Poco''': (Thought while crawling through a window) Those monsters said they'll attack the village. If that JoJo guy dies, no one will be able to stop them! What if they hurt Sis? I have to protect her no matter what! (Outloud as he gets inside) Sis! I'm standing up to them now!
:'''Jonathan''': Stay back! He'll kill you!
:'''Tarukus''': Uyyyurry! Stay out of this fight you brat!
:[Knocks Poco to a wall after Jonathan pulled him back.]
:'''Poco''': That hurt a lot... But I'm still in one piece... (pulls the lever, letting Speedwagon and Zeppeli in) I did good, right?
:'''Speedwagon''': You did well, Poco. Go get him, Zeppeli! Show the bastard what for!

=== Successor [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.07]]] ===
:'''Zeppeli''': JoJo, here I come! To free a lion and release him into the future of his destiny.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:(Tarukus seemingly kills Jonathan and Zeppeli with his Heaven-Hell Snake attack.)
:'''Tarukus''': Lord Dio, it is done. They are dead.
:'''Speedwagon''': This brutal savagery is unbelievable! 
:'''Tarukus''' (Notices Jonathan still alive): With a broken neck, and you have the poor taste to be alive? (He is irate to see Zepelli also alive as he grabs Jonathan's hand.)
:'''Zeppeli''': Freely...Freely...Freely I give you this. My ultimate technique. ULTIMATE DEEP PASS OVERDRIVE!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''' (to Tarukus): Twisted by madness. No human feeling. Your soul's redemption has been forfeit when you chose to follow Dio, Tarukus! 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tarukus''': Enough of your blather; you talk too much!
:'''Jonathan''': You have to do better than that!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Zeppeli''': It seems to me that in you, I have found both a best friend and a new family. JoJo... through you... I will live on forever... My son... JoJo...
:'''Jonathan''': Farewell, my friend.

=== Bloody Battle! JoJo &amp; Dio [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.08]]] ===
:'''Dio''': Consider this rose. Like you, it's in full bloom. But then think of what will become of it, mademoiselle. Once a flower has bloomed, it begins wither. Isn't it such a pity?
:Zombie Pet: Sixteen-years old. So young, so innocent, so full of life-giving energy. Heh-Heh-Heh-Huh?
:'''Dio''': (After killing the pet) Those with bad manners are not fit to exist. Well, mademoiselle? Will you give me your decision? Wouldn't you like to enjoy eternal youth? I do not force your friendship like others. Your life is your own, and your fate of your own making.
: Poco's Sister: You fiend...
:'''Dio''': Come again? (slapped)
: Poco's Sister: You wear the flesh, but you're no man! Devil, go away!
:'''Dio''':  Ah, such a pity that we part so soon then. Though your meeting will be brief, allow me to introduce you to my companion. I present onto you Doobie. Perhaps he will be more to your liking. Au revoir, mademoiselle!
:[Dolby is about to attack when he is hit by an anvil.]
:'''Dolby''': OW. Who threw this at me head!? Who's there!?
:'''Jonathan''': Doesn't matter, does it? You are a zombie! Your kind have no right to introductions!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''': Guess you came back from his time in Hell, Dio.
:'''Dio''': Oh, JoJo, you're alive? Then am to assume that you defeated my two knights, then.
:Zombie bodyguard 1: Dio! Give the word, and he'll be pile of flesh!
:Zombie bodyguard 2: Let my fangs make an impression on him!
:'''Jonathan''': Dio!
:'''Dio''': No. He is mine! Know this JoJo, I find no pleasure in finishing you myself. We grew up together in the same house, so the thought of turning you into a undead thing is unsatisfying. That's why I sent my two knights to kill you. But it seems I've indulged you. As emperor, I must not show weakness of any kind. Therefore, I shall slaughter you without hesitation!
:'''Jonathan''': I agree! I will feel no guilt over killing you!
:'''Dio''': But one question. Whatever happened to that mustached charlatan who was with you? Where'd he gone off to?
:'''Jonathan''': Dio, it shames me as a gentleman to say this, but I cannot hold back these feelings. I, Jonathan Joestar, hate you with every fiber of my being! Vengeance consumes me now! I swear I will kill you!
:'''Dio''': Then come, JoJo!
:'''Jonathan''': Dire!
:'''Die''': JoJo, stand back. I have prior claim to avenge. Zeppeli was a dear friend of mine for over two decades. Dio! For taking his life, I will sent you to the bowels of Hell!
:'''Dio''': Fascinating. Within years, humans can train themselves to float in midair...But in one night, I have surpassed even a guru! Wryyyyy! Do you think you can defeat me with such lethargic movements?
:'''Dire''': I've caught you, fool! Thunder Cross Split Attack!
: (Dire attempts his attack. However...)
:'''Dio''': Useless, Useless, useless! 
:'''Dire''': (his body is frozen from the neck down) I can't move!
:'''Dio''': You imbecile! Did you think for a moment that you could stand up to me? Nothing awaits you here but a mongrel's death! So let's give them a show!
:[shatters Dire.]
:'''Dio''': JoJo, it's your turn to face oblivion!
:[Dio gets hit with a rose to the eye]
:'''Dire''': Those Hamon-filled rose thorns do sting a bit. Ha, ha.
:'''Dio''': Insect! How you dare you! How dare you wound my face!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''[[w:Dio_Brando|Dio]]''': Really? The “Let’s do battle” stance? You’re not serious. No matter how you prepare, human ability is extremely limited and finite. Your Hamon training avails you nothing. '''It's USELESS, USELESS, USELESS, UUUSSSEELLLESSS!!''' A MERE MONKEY COULD NEVER DEFEAT A LION!!! In comparison to my power, you are but a MERE MONKEY, JOJO!
:'''Jonathan''': You’re wrong! With true conviction, the human race can overcome anything! Let me demonstrate to just what heights a human being can rise!
:'''Dio''': A zombie's all you'll ever be!
:'''Jonathan''': (after setting his fists on fire) Which one of us will fall!? We'll find out soon enough!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dio''': My body is dissolving! It can't be! (screaming) The pain! The burning! I can’t- (screaming) My reign was to have lasted forever! For centuries uncounted by man!
:'''Jonathan''':You had to be destroyed, Dio.
:'''Dio''': I, WILL NOT DIE!...
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Poco''': Why is shredding tears for such an evil creature?
:'''Speedwagon''': He and Dio spent their youth together. Dio was like a brother to him. But as for me, I'll be singing in praise. Baron Zepelli, do you see? JoJo did it! Dio's dead! It may be an exaggeration, but JoJo saved the world this night!

=== The Final Hamon! [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.09]]] ===
:'''Father Styx''': Eh? Well, that's rather strange. The lock's undone. Queer bit of business. I can see a metal catch glinting on the inside there. But that would mean... that this trunk is locked from the inside! 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''[[w:Dio_Brando|Dio]]''': JoJo... if it wasn't for you, I never would have received the power of the Stone Mask... But at the same time, it was your damnable meddling that cost me world domination! If there truly a god pulling the strings, then it is no coincidence our paths intersect. That our two existences are to be one. Thus I shall take your body, only man I respect, and live out eternity with it! That is my destiny! You will feel no pain. That is my final gift to you!
:'''Jonathan''': Argh.. those eyes of his! This isn't good!
:'''Dio''': Live on as my body, JoJo!
:''[Dio fires two beams from his eyes, piercing Jonathan's neck.]''
:'''Erina''': Jonathan!
:'''Jonathan''': Erina... &lt;ref&gt;''Phantom Blood 03, Fire and Ice, Jonathan and Dio &lt;small&gt;Part 4&lt;/small&gt;, p. 296-297&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Wan Chang''': He's done for! Lord Dio overestimates his mighty power! Well, Jonathan Joestar, I'll scoop out what little brains you have with my bare fingers!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''' (Last words): Dio, as you observed, it may be true that our fate is to be together. I feel an odd warmth for you, for now our lives are interwoven completely… and will end along with this ship. Farewell to you… my… beloved...
:'''Dio''' (being held by a dying Jonathan): JoJo! Let me go! Release me! Think of what we two can achieve! You'd like a taste of eternity, would you not? I can heal your wounds. You and Erina can live together forever! JoJo! (he realized Jonathan is no longer alive) No, it's too late. He's dead. (consumed in a explosion that enveloped Jonathan's body and sinks the ship. The following day, Erina and baby Elizabeth were revealed to have survived.)
:'''Erina''' (voiceover): Jonathan Joestar passed away into undeserved oblivion. His life was an important part of history, but invisible to ordinary people. Most of humanity, for who he sacrificed, will never know of his noble accomplishments. But his descendants will. The life within me, newly created by Jonathan and I, will certainly hear his story.

==Part II, [[w:Battle Tendency|Battle Tendency]]==

=== New York's JoJo [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.10]]] ===
:'''Speedwagon''': Why can’t you ever just think things through, JoJo?
:'''Young Joesph''': I do, in fact, a great deal. Mostly about how best to keep you and Granny Erina safe. You two are the only family that I’ve got. 
:'''Speedwagon''': (Narrator) He may have his grandfather’s face, but he’s far from being a gentleman.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': As I've said, the wallet is a gift. So why don't you let my friend go.
:'''Fat Policeman:''' (while picking his nose, taking out a large booger) Then what's his name? What's the matter, limey? Do you want to spent a night in an American pokey?
:'''Joseph'''(after the booger is placed on his cheek): That's curious. Help me understand, why would you do something like that? It seems to such an unsavory thing to do.
:'''Fat Policeman''' (while picking his nose again): There is no reason! I do what I like, whenever I feel like it, ya fool! But, if when someone wipes a booger on ya face, then it probably means that-
:''[Joseph punches the fat policeman in the face.]''
:'''Joseph''': YOU'VE MADE THE WRONG MOVE, YOU STUPID PIG!!
:'''Fat Policeman''' (with his finger stuck in his nose): ''Gyaaaahhh!!!'' Take it out. Awww! Take it out!!!
:'''Bearded Policeman''': What?! You're resisting arrest!
:''[The bearded policeman points his gun at Joseph.]''
:'''Joseph''': Heh, go ahead and shoot! But you better be prepared for the consequences. The moment you pull that trigger, I'll break your finger like a rotten matchstick!!
:'''Bearded Policeman''': Not from there you won't! I'll shoot your damned brains out!
:''[Joesph uses his Hamon to shoot his coke's bottlecap at the bearded policeman, damaging the man's trigger finger while drinking his soda before freaking out.]''
:'''Joseph''': Oh!! I've let my temper get the best of me again! OH CRAP! What will granny Erina think of this!?
:'''Smokey''' (thought): W-What's with this guy?! He beats up cops and then worries about what his granny will say?!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Smokey''': I don't know what's going on, but you said you gave your wallet to me, a thief and a black man- I owe you one. My name is Smokey. I would like to know your name.
:'''Joseph''': Joestar. Joseph Joestar. But my friends call me JoJo. I just moved from London with Granny Erina... Nice to meet you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Taxi Driver''': Get you head outta ya butt! Now move the hell out of the way!
:'''Joseph''' (grabs the taxi driver): Hello there! I'm sorry, I didn't hear all that. You mind repeating what you just said? Depending on what you said, I might have to give you pounding!
:'''Erina''': JoJo! What are you doing?
:'''Joseph''': Granny Erina!
:'''Erina''': What are you doing with that man?
:'''Joseph''': Uh... I was just... huh? ...A taxi. So you wouldn't need to walk around so much.
:'''Erina''': You are such a thoughtful boy, JoJo.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[at a restaurant, a racist mobster insults Smokey] 
:'''Smokey Brown''': I better be going... (Joseph keeps Smokey from getting up as he gets ready to fight) 
:'''Erina''': JoJo! 
:'''Joseph''': You heard him. Come on. You’re not going to tell me to stop, are you?
:'''Erina''' No. People are entitled to their opinions. But this misbegotten oaf has given insult to our friend! Be mindful of the other guests, now, but teach him a lesson!
:'''Joseph''': I was hoping you'd say that! 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': (to mobster after tricking him into damaging his hand on a coat rack) My brain can predict any move you make! Does your thick skull get that!?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Erina''': I don't want evil from half a century to take you.
:'''Joseph''': It will be alright. If this is my fate, then I'll accept it.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Straizo''': I will kill you before you can become a threat!
:'''Joseph''': Or maybe not. (guns down Straizo) Yes, I was awaiting you, Straizo. That was on behalf of Speedwagon. But I don’t think you’ll go down so easily. Our war has begun!

=== The Game Master [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.11]]] ===
:''[After gunning Straizo down with a tommy gun.]''
:'''Joseph''': Straizo! You have two choices! Death by sunlight, or by my Hamon! Or maybe I should beat your brains to a pulp?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': You think Hamon is the only thing I've got in my repertoire?
:[Joesph makes a dash towards the window, yanking a grenade he placed on Straizo's scarf]
:'''Straizo''': (knocks the grenade off) Childish!
:'''Joseph''': Fooled you didn't I. Look at the wires attached to the grenade you tossed away.
:'''Straizo''' (finds a multitude of grenades on his cape): You son of a B- (blown to bits)
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[While watching Straizo's disembodied parts putting themselves back together.]''
:'''Joseph''': I have a secret weapon for such a occasion.
:'''Smokey''': Secret weapon? What kind is it?
:'''Joseph''': Look at his legs! I've blasted them to smithereens and they are still not fully regenerated. And that's our ticket!
:'''Smokey''': What does his legs have to do with your secret weapon?
:'''Joseph''': My legs are in good condition.
:'''Smokey''': So what are they good for?
:'''Joseph''': Running away! Make way!
:''[Joseph begins to flee.]''
:'''Smokey''' (running after Joseph): This guy is insane!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''' (mortally wounding Straizo): Give my regards to Speedwagon...IN HELL!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Straizo''': Joseph! You will likely meet &quot;him&quot; soon. You will probably understand &quot;his&quot; identity and the meaning of evolution! Like destiny handed down by God... 
:[Straizo's body begins to crack as the Hamon contained is released]
:'''Straizo''': There is nothing I regret, Joseph. All this time I planned on entering Hell while still vibrant and filled with energy, not as some withered desiccated corpse. I cannot tell you the ecstasy I have felt in being young again. 
:'''Joseph''': Straizo, wait. Not yet! I need to know more!
:'''Straizo''': Farewell to you, JoJo! 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Rudol von Stroheim''': GERMAN SCIENCE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD! DON'T YOU THINK? WE CAN DO ANYTHING!

=== The Pillar Man [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.12]]] ===
:'''Rudol von Stroheim''' (laughing hysterically from Santana tripping himself): &quot;Ultimate lifeform?&quot; More like &quot;Ultimate idiot.&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Santana''': Major...Rudol...Rudol von Stroheim.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''' (poorly disguised as a woman): &quot;All I got under my skirt is more tequila, big boy.&quot;

=== JoJo vs. the Ultimate Lifeform [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.13]]] ===
:'''Joseph''': You're it!
:'''Speedwagon''': Destroy him.
:'''Joseph''': Happy! Joy! Nice to meetcha! How you pose for me? Show me happy. Show me silly. Now how about you show those pearly whites?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Santana:''' You are playing games with me primitive? I do not want to play.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': Now I'm in the mood! One Hamon knuckle sandwich coming up!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Rudol von Stroheim''': Farewell, you annoying English man!
:[Stroheim blows himself up to expose Santana to the sunlight]
:'''Joseph''': Damn that crazy German and his honor! (sees Santana) SANTANA!
:'''Santana''' (Charges JoJo): YOU ANNOY ME, PRIMITIVE! I WILL DESTROY YOU!
:[Knocks Joseph over the well]
:'''Santana''': WHY DO YOU RESIST!
:'''Joseph''': Next you will say, &quot;I've seen right through you, Joestar.&quot;
:'''Santana''': I'VE SEEN RIGHT THROUGH YOU, JOESTAR! Wha?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': Santana's a statue again, and we finally got that smile.

=== Ultimate Warriors from Ancient Times [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.14]]] ===
:'''Caesar''': We Italians value family above all others.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Caesar''': (While playing cards) I saw that, JoJo. Deal the cards right. Only cowards cheat.
:'''Joseph''': Huh? Whatever do you -- [Caesar grabs his wrist]
:'''Caesar''': Deal the cards properly, Joestar, or play elsewhere! [Caesar shakes Joseph's wrist, causing about a dozen cards to start spilling out of his sleeve]
:'''Joseph''': Huh... fancy that. Well, that didn't work!
:'''Caesar''': Pathetic. You should be ashamed that you have to resort to cheating and gimmicks to beat me!
:'''Joseph''': You really are serious about cleanliness... [he pulls Caesar's leg onto the table, where we can see something placed on top of his shoe] This mirror is spotless!
:'''Caesar''': STOP PROVOKING ME, JOESTAR!
:'''Joseph''': OH, I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Wamuu''': I see much has changed since I've slumbered. But your illuminations will not stop me.
:[kills the guards before approaching Kars and Esidisi.]
:'''Wamuu''': Now, the time has come! Awaken, my masters!

=== A Hero's Proof [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.15]]] ===
:'''Wamuu''': Become stronger before you decide to face the mighty Wamuu again, child. That way, you can be worthy of my time as I destroy you with honor.
:[throws Caesar back]
:'''Wamuu''': It seems there that was the only one to use Hamon here.
:'''Kars''': Let's go.
:'''Joseph''': ''Cough cough cough''. Over here, look... right here. I'd appreciate it if you guys would notice that I'm here.
:'''The Pillar Men''': .....
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''' (sing song): I've been working on my Hamon. All the live-long day.
:'''Caesar''': He is insane!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''' (while beating Wamuu with his clackers): This for killing Caesar's friend! This for not taking me seriously! AND THIS IS ME NOT LIKING YOUR UGLY FACE!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Wamuu''': (turning around to see Joseph, crawling away behind the Pillar Man's back, pretending to be dead) I must be imagining things...
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Esidisi''': Well, that was fun. 
:'''Kars''': Let us keep moving. Apparently the human race has regressed rather than evolved. 
:'''Wamuu''': Quite an understatement.
:[After the Pillar men take their leave.]
:'''Joseph''' What the hell! Two poisoned wedding rings. One on my heart and the other on my wind pipe. Do they think I'm some sort of bigamist or- (faints)

=== Lisa Lisa, Hamon Coach [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.16]]] ===

:'''Joseph''': OH MY GOD! What was I thinking a month. I should have asked for a year.
:'''Caesar''': Jojo, a bit of advice: Stop screwing around and grow up!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Lisa Lisa''': If you are willing to learn Hamon within a month, you must be willing to die for it!

=== The Deeper Plan [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.17]]] ===
:'''Esidisi''': What a piercing gaze you've developed! But when somebody gives me a challenging look, they're asking for death.
:'''Joseph''': &quot;Victory is assured before the battle is even fought.&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Esidici''': You speak of [[Sun Tzu]]? I know him personally, having studied him two thousand years ago. &quot;All war is deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Esidisi''': Wamuu's Divine Sandstorm allows him manipulation over the wind, I have power over the inferno.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Esidisi''': Joseph, the next line you'll say is, &quot;I'm going to wipe that smirk off your face!&quot; Watch.
:'''Joseph''': I'm going to wipe that smirk off your face! Wha? Wait a second, you can't do that! That's my trick!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Esidisi''': You said, &quot;Victory is assured before the battle is even fought.&quot; Well, it's true..True..TRUE!
:[Joseph starts laughing.]
:'''Esidisi''': Why are you laughing in the face of excreting death? Has the fear drove you insane?
:'''Joseph''': Well, my arms are folded and my eyes are closed, this is a victory laugh, Esidisi. You lost today because for 2000 years, you were sleeping behind the wheel.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': What you’re going to say next is: “My veins will move faster than your pathetic Hamon can possibly go!” Now!
:'''Esidisi''': My veins will move faster than your pathetic Hamon can possibly go!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Esidisi''': I can't... I can't... You're only a human. I am the evolved one, the highest life form! I will not be beaten! Now that you've pushed me too far!
:[As Esidisi's body explodes.]
:'''Joseph''': Die with power of the countless lives you've stolen!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': My Instructor, I must thank you for torturing me. Grazie, Loggins.

=== Von Stroheim's Revenge [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.18]]] ===
:'''Joseph''': Hey, Suzie Q.
:[Suzie Q screams.]
:'''Joseph''': What the hell!?
:'''Suzie Q''': There's a stranger on the island!
:'''Joseph''': It's me, Jojo!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': So, what you think?
:'''Suzie Q''': Weird lips.
:'''Joseph''': Well, if we fall madly in love with each other, you can kiss these lips as much as you want.
:'''Suzie Q''': In your dreams!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': Well, if I'm gonna be sitting around for 30 minutes, I choose to do it here. 
:[sits next to Lisa Lisa's door] 
:'''Joseph''': Would it to be wrong of me should my eyes happen to gaze through the keyhole? 
:[looks through and sees a naked Lisa Lisa] 
:'''Joseph''': Hoh hoh hoh hooooooooohhh!! NIIIIIIICE!&quot;

=== A Race Towards the Brink [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.19]]] ===
:'''Stroholm''' (to Kars): YOU FOOL! GERMAN SCIENCE IS THE GREATEST IN THE WORLD!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kars''' (to Jojo): I'll kill you in a moment.

=== Young Caesar [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.20]]] ===
:'''Joseph''': I've changed my mind. If you're going into that derelict hell, I'm coming too.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Wamuu''': You are the bubble user named Caesar Zeppeli. I see from your eyes that you have grown stronger from your ordeals. Very well. I deem you worthy of death, bubble user.
:'''Caesar''': We'll see who dies!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Caesar''': I see you took off your coat and prepared yourself, Wammu.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Caesar''': *While using his Bubble Cutter on Wamuu* Running?
:'''Wamuu''': I will not run nor hide from you!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Wamuu''': Why did you take my lip ring!?
:'''Caesar''': I... I'm not afraid to die here... But I am a proud member of the Zeppeli family, so you see, it's in my blood... Something like this, might mean nothing to a demented inhuman monster like you...! My father didn't recognize me, but he sacrificed his life to save mine anyway. My grandfather gave his Hamon energy to save JoJo's grandfather right before he died. It's tradition. I have to do something. I... I can't let my life's flame, just sputter out to darkness...! 
:[Caesar wraps his bandana around the ring.]
:'''Caesar''': This is the Zeppeli family spirit, handed down from the past to ensure the family's future! It's the human spirit! JOJO, THIS IS THE LAST OF MY HAMON! TAKE IT FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
:[Caesar is crushed to death by a cross-shaped stone that fell on him.]
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Wamuu''': The memory of you and our last moments together will be engraved on me forever, Caesar Zeppelli. A man as splendid and fleeting as the bubbles he made.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': I swear to avenge your death, Caesar! Your spirit is with me! (seeing blood leaking from the cross-shaped stone that crushed Caesar minutes before they entered the hotel) Blood. His blood. This is...where he fell. Caesar...
:'''Lisa Lisa''': *breaks down in tears* Caesar...
:'''Joseph''': &lt;big&gt;'''''CAAAAEESAAAAARRRRRR!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Narrator''': They were deep in enemy territory. Kars and Wamuu were very nearby, but the two simply couldn't help themselves. JoJo called out Caesar's name. Lisa Lisa's tears flowed freely. But their heartbroken cries of grief were answered only by a cold silence. Caesar...was gone. As they mourned him, they took solace in one simple fact: Though his body had died, his soul would live on through them. Rest in peace... Caesar Zeppeli.

=== A Hundred Against Two [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.21]]] ===

:'''Lisa Lisa''' (after infecting Wire with Hamon): Jojo, let's go.
:'''Wired Beck''': Where are you going? (to Joseph) Don't you think females deserve to be punished?
:'''Joseph''': You're the one who's about to be punished. And your time is up. Hamon is coursing through you.
:'''Wired Beck''': Don't be ridiculous, I'm not-- (His body starts to dissolve) AAARGH! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''' (Getting on the vampire horse-drawn chariot): Let's ride!

=== A True Warrior [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.22]]] ===
:'''Joseph''': (Over the vampires cheering Wamuu on): Why do the bad guys get all the fans?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': Next, you're going to say, &quot;Don't dishonor our battle, JoJo.&quot;
:'''Wamuu''': Don't dishonor our battle, JoJo! Huh!?

=== The Warrior of Wind [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.23]]] ===
:'''Wamuu''' (Attacking vampires trying to kill Joseph): You cowardly cannibals!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[Joseph honors Wamuu's last request to take the antidote.]
:'''Wamuu''': I have no regrets. I am glad I was able to witness your growth as a warrior. Perhaps the reason I lived these thousands of years was so that I could meet you at the end. Farewell to you, warrior JoJo... (Dissolves to dust)
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kars''': I am the only one left, because the world and everything on it belong to me.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kars''' (after mortally wounding Lisa Lisa in a sneak attack): I am no warrior like Wammu, nor am I a romantic. I don't care what method I have to use, victory justifies any means!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kars''' (to his vampires): Kill Jojo!
:'''Joseph''': KARS! KARS! KARS! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! (starts fighting vampires.)
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kars''': *making guitar noises while playing with Lisa Lisa's legs*
:'''Joseph''': You utter bastard!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''' (After being forced to leave himself open to attack to keep Lisa Lisa alive): KARS! THERE'S A PLACE FOR YOU IN HELL!

=== The Ties That Bind JoJo [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.24]]] ===
:'''Joseph''': Kars! You lived too long! Your soul has decayed. It's like a pumpkin left to rot in the field. Even the flies avoid it!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': You may have lived for thousands of years, Kars. But against the likes of me, you need another decade! YOU'RE THROUGH! HAMON! OOOVEEERDRIIIVEEE!

=== The Birth of a Superbeing!! [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.25]]] ===
:'''Stroheim''': He has become the ubermensch!
:'''Kars''': Alpha. Omega. I am now both.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': One all-or-nothing gambit! 
:'''Stroheim''': All-or-nothing gambit, you say!? 
:'''Joseph''': Yeah! It's my final move! 
:'''Stroheim''': What does it involve? 
:'''Smokey''': JoJo, when you say 'final move', you're not referring to THAT, are you? 
:'''Joseph''': Listen up! This is something you've got to do for yourselves! 
:'''Stroheim''': Just tell me what to do and I'll follow your lead, JoJo! 
:'''Joseph''': Hmmmhmmhmmmhmmhmmm... (Grabs the Super Aja while running off) '''RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIVEEEESSS!!!!'''
:'''Smokey''' (running after Joseph): AWWWW MAN, I knew you're gonna do thaaaat!!
:'''Kars''' (turning his arms into wings): Hamon users are beneath me now. But to avenge Wamuu and Esidisi, I will kill you Joesph Joestar!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': You're not the only one who can fly! I'm comin' for you!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''': Carpe diem as they say.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kars''' (while in the magma): I am still alive!

=== The Ascendant One [[w:JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure_(season_1)|[1.26]]] ===
:'''Kars''': I have conquered the sun. Did you think Hamon was beyond me?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kars''': Did you plan this too, JoJo?! Tell me!
:'''Joseph''' (Out loud): Why are you even asking!? I set a trap and you walked right into it! All of this went down like clockwork! (Monologue) I just got lucky, but thinking I outsmarted him will drive Kars nuts!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kars''': No! The Earth! No! Don't panic! Just find the Earth. I'll use air to change my trajectory. Once I'm back on solid ground, I will tear that boy apart! (starts to freeze and groan in pain) No! It's not working! I'm freezing! The air is freezing around me! The moment it comes out of the jets, it turns to ice! (Spouts wings, but they freeze while he drifts further as his body freezes over) I can't change my path! I can't move!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''' (After crashing his own funeral and learning his wife failed to alert their friends of his survival): Suzie Q, what the hell?! You had one job, woman! ONE JOB!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Old man Joseph''' (kicked a Japanese man in the stomach after learning his nationality while they bumped into each other): Her son doesn't even see his grandfather. And that's why I'll never forgive the Japanese! (takes out a cassette player) They do make nifty gadgets, though.

==Part III, [[w:Stardust Crusaders|Stardust Crusaders]]==

=== A Man Possessed By an Evil Spirit [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.01]]]===
:'''Holly''': (running to her son's cell) Jotaro! Jotaro! JOTARO!
:'''[[w:Jotaro_Kujo|Jotaro]]''': SHUT THE HELL UP! GET OUT OF MY FACE, STUPID BITCH!
:'''Holly''': OKAY!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Jotaro is in prison, refusing to leave his jail cell despite the fact that he's been released.]''
:'''Jotaro''': What.. Mom, is that you? Tch! Go away.. I'll be staying here for a little while.
:'''Holly''': ...?
:'''Jotaro''': I am possessed by an 'evil spirit'... I have no idea what 'it' could make me do.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jotaro''': Why are you such an annoying bitch? 
:'''Holly''': Okay~, I dunno~! 
:'''Joseph''': HEY! How dare you address your mother that way?! And what kind of language is that?! And stop smiling, Holly! You'll only encourage it! 
:'''Holly''': OKAY!

=== Who Shall Judge!? [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.02]]]===

:'''Jotaro''': SHUT UP!!! YOU'RE FREAKIN' ANNOYING!!!!

''[A long rant given to Noriaki Kakyoin.]''
:'''[[w:Jotaro_Kujo|Jotaro]]''': Look, no one ever said Jotaro Kujo was a nice guy. I beat the crap outta people, more than I have to. Some are even still in the hospital. I've had idiot teachers who like to talk big, so I taught them a lesson and they never came back to class. If I go to a restaurant and the food is bad, I make it a policy to stiff 'em with the bill. But, even a bastard like me... can spot true evil when he sees it! True evil...are those who use the weak for their own gain, then crush them underfoot when they're through! Especially an innocent woman! And that is exactly what you've done, isn't it? And your Stand gets to hide from the victim, the law, and the consequences. That's why... I will judge you myself!!

: '''Jotaro''': So the loser's evil, huh? In that case...Let me judge you! (Star Platinum beating up Kakyoin) With my Stand!

=== DIO's Curse [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.03]]]===
:'''Noriaki''': JoJo's mother is a woman capable of calming the hearts of others. People feel at ease around her. This may sound awkward... but if I were to fall in love, I'd like it to be with someone like her. I would give my all for her. And I would want to always see her warm, happy smile.

=== Tower of Grey [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.04]]]===
:'''Enya Geil''': The emotion of fear. Fear is a natural reaction within all living creatures. Now, why does fear exist? There is the kind of fear stirred by instinct. And then, there is fear from logic. Namely, when one comes across something stronger than them, and there is absolutely no way to fight back. Or when they encounter something unknown. You may either struggle, resist, run away, or accept. But upon meeting upon meeting Lord DIO, a fifth option is introduced...Joy!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Grey Fly''': This world is full of Stands that surpass even your wildest imagination! Those loyal to DIO will follow you at every turn! You bastards won't even see Egypt. Your deaths will be swift and painful!

=== Silver Chariot [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.05]]]===
:'''Polnareff''': Bravo, sir! Bravo!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[Polnareff, having been serious moments ago, taking pictures of two ladies from the plane wanting to see the Joestar Group again.]
:'''Avdol''': This is nothing like the Polnareff of a moment ago. 
:'''Kakyoin''': It's like his emotions change on a dime. 
:'''Joseph''': More like he's got two brains, and the one downstairs suddenly started calling the shots. 
:'''Jotaro''' (adjusts his cap): ...Oh, give me a break.

=== Dark Blue Moon [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.06]]]===

:'''Jotaro''': You're the only one swallowin' saltwater, pops, choke on it... Tell him, Avdol.
:'''Avdol''': Your folly was trying to out-predict me, a fortune teller, tough break.
:'''Polnareff''': Well said, Avdol.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Fake Captain''': But your power was being drained... You let yourself go limp on purpose didn't you? You concentrated your power in your fingers... That's what you were thinking all along...

=== Strength [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.07]]]===

=== The Devil [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.08]]]===
:'''Ebony Devil''': You idiot! No assassin worth the damn would ever reveal his Stand's identity. It only happens in the face of death for him or his opponent! You guys are so stupid always showing off your Stands everywhere you go! It's your own fault that we know all your weaknesses! If it weren't for that mirror, I would've killed you! You're just a moron who got lucky!

=== Yellow Temperance [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.09]]]===
:'''Rubber Soul''': Do you ''understaaaaaaaand''?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Jotaro''': But we Kujos...no, us Joestars got this philosophy when it comes to fighting. That's...to run away! 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

''[Mocking Rubber Soul.]''
:'''[[w:Jotaro_Kujo|Jotaro]]''': Your Stand may be invincible, but you sure as hell aren't! If I destroy you, then your Stand dies too. Do you understand? Listen, I've had it up to here with that cocky-ass mouth of yours, alright? I just happen to be the type of guy who takes these things to heart! (punches Rubber Soul in the face.) 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
''[Rubber Soul pleading for his life after a devious attempt on Jotaro's life]''
:'''[[w:Jotaro_Kujo|Jotaro]]''': Just shut up already. I have nothing more to say to you. You're way too pathetic... I'm done wasting my breath. (Grabs Rubber Soul in a hold so Star Platinum can beat the villain to retire.)

=== The Emperor and the Hanged Man [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.10 - 2.11]]]===

:'''Hol Horse''' (to Polnareff): The gun is mightier than the sword!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kakyoin''' (elbowing Polnareff in the face after they escaped Hol Horse and the Hanged Man): Considered this proof that we've made up, Polnareff.
:'''Polnareff''': Agh! Merci... Kakyoin...
:'''Kakyoin''': Next time they come after us... we'll fight them together!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Polnareff''' (to Kakoyin): You’ve got to say something more like this before you get revenge. (to J. Geil) My name is Jean-Pierre Polnareff. For the honor of my dear sister's soul and so that my friend Avdol can rest in peace, I shall send you falling into the depths of Hell!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''J. Geil''': Kukukukuku... You really did waste your youth trying to hunt me down... but it looks like you won't succeed! What a pathetic life you've lived!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''J. Geil''' (While attempting to open a gate to escape): It won't open!
:'''Polnareff''': Looks like ''you're'' the one who's really good at sobbing, J. Geil. And you're about to plummet into hell, begging and crying the whole way down. But there's one thing I can't rely on the guardians of Hell to do. And that's...to turn your body into a pincushion!

=== The Empress [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.12]]]===
:'''Empress''': What the hell is this?!
:'''Joseph''': Hmm? I might as well... what now? I'm sorry, my hearing isn't exactly what it once was. Run that by me one more time, will ya?
:'''Empress''': It's coal tar! That was your plan all along! It wasn't to suffocate me, you were trying to keep me from moving! But how?! How did you know there was coal tar in there?!
:'''Joseph''': With my Stand's power, Hermit Purple, told me everything!
:'''Empress''': You drew a map with Hermit Purple?! That's how you found a tar?! A map out of incense ashes?!
:'''Joseph''': Yeah! Now I think even a glorified pimple like you should see the difference in our fighting experience. &quot;When your opponent starts boasting, he's already lost.&quot; That, shrew, is a line from my wilder days. Like a fine wine, I guess I just get better with age! And now! A Stand will defeat another Stand! Next you'll say, &quot;Please, stop it! I beg you!&quot; 
:'''Empress''': PLEASE, JUST STOP IT! I BEG YOU! AH!
:'''Joseph''': This will hurt me as much as it hurts you, but children can't depend on their parents forever! Once you've grown up... (Leaps to pull at Empress, ripping the Stand to pieces) You've got to learn to live on your own! Now, then. I wonder where that thing Stand user is hiding.

=== Wheel of Fortune [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.13]]]===
: '''Jotaro''' (upon seeing the girl): Good frick'n grief.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

: '''ZZ''': Wheel of Fortune is gonna grind you into hamburger and splatter you all over these rocks!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

: '''ZZ''' (As Jotaro appeared to have burned to death): I won!!! Your valiant hero finally bit the dust!
: '''Jotaro''': Is that so? (while emerging from underground, leaving his jacket behind) And who exactly is going to replace me, Jotaro Kujo? Let me guess, you thought it'd be you, you roadhog!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Enya''' (deciding to go after the Joestar group): I, Enya, will be your final opponent! I will destroy you with my Stand of Justice!

=== Justice [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.14 - 2.15]]]===

:'''Enya''' (To Hol Horse): How dare you call yourself his friend! You cretin! You Judas!
:'''Enya''': Just one little wound is all I need...then &quot;Justice&quot; will do the rest!
:'''Enya''': Justice always prevails.

=== The Lovers [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.16 - 2.17]]]===

:'''Steely Dan''' (in disguise): BYE-BYE, THANK-YOU NOW!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Enya''' (final words): He believes in me, so I'll serve him even in death... I won't betray him... 
:'''Joseph''' (after Enya is killed by Lovers): OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Steely Dan''': My name is Dan... Steely Dan. My Stand is represented by the card of &quot;The Lovers&quot;.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Polnareff''': The old bitch's son killed my sister and she gave me Hell, so I should be glad that she's dead... but I'm REALLY having complicated feelings towards her right now!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joseph''' (after Silver Chariot made a harmless microscopic cut in a blood vein): OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! I don't feel so good...

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Steely Dan''': Please! I'm begging you, forgive me!
:'''Jotaro''': Ask for forgiveness from Enya, the woman you killed. But as for me, I never had the slightest intention of forgiving you.
:'''Steely Dan''' (attempting to bribe Jotaro): D-DIO paid me in advance. You...you can have it all.
:'''Jotaro''': Good grief. I know this is blatantly obvious, but you really are a piece of work. What you owe me...can never be paid back with money! (Star Platinum proceeds to beat Steely Dan with extreme prejudice before punching him into a tower, Jotaro tallying the tab) Your receipt. Keep the frigging change.

=== The Sun [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.18]]]===
''[After the Sun breaks Joseph's pair of binoculars.]''
:'''Joseph''': Agh! Son of a...''bitch''!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[After Arabia Fats was easily defeated]
:'''Joseph''': You mean...we already beat the Stand User?
:'''Kakyoin''': You hit the nail on the head.
: Caption: The Sun—RETIRED.

=== Death 13 [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.19 - 2.20]]]===
:'''Baby Stand''': LALIHOOOO!!

=== Judgement [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.21 - 2.22]]]===
: '''Cameo''': HAIL 2 U!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[While Polnareff is battling the fake versions of his sister and Avdol, the real Avdol appears. Polnareff believes the real Avdol had died.]''
:'''Polnareff''': ARE YOU REALLY MOHAMMED AVDOL?!
:'''Avdol''' (waggling a finger before striking a pose): ''Tsk tsk!'' Yes, you had better believe I am!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Polnareff''': No, stop this charade. You're not the real Sherry. My Sherry is gone, dead! You're nothing but... ''[kills fake Sherry]'' A hunk of dirt!!

:'''Polnareff''': (After finding Cameo's hiding place) HELL 2 U.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Avdol''': Last but not least, my fourth wish is to not grant a single one of your pitiful wishes. My Magician's Red forgives no one, especially not you.

=== The High Priestess [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.23 - 2.24]]]===

=== Iggy the Fool and Geb's N'Doul [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.25 - 2.26]]]===
:'''N'Doul''': (thought) I can't believe it! He actually threw the dog...
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jotaro''': (After seeing N'Doul use his own stand to fatally wound himself.) Why did you-
:'''N'Doul''': Jotaro... You... You thought you could... You thought you could manipulate me and force me to tell you information regarding the other eight Stand users, didn't you? Ugh! I'm very well aware... that Joseph Joestar's Hermit Purple can view into the minds of others... Ugh! You'll never get inside my head, and I'll never tell you anything that you could use against my master... Ah ha ha ha...! 
:'''Jotaro''': DIO... I don't understand why you're so loyal to him. Are you honestly telling me... that you'd die for him? 
:'''N'Doul''': Jotaro... You're right, you don't understand. Fear of death holds no place in my heart. Hah! Because of the power of my Stand, I've always been able to live a life unencumbered by such inconsequential fears like death. I could always win any fight. I could have and do whatever I wanted... Killing and stealing were absolutely meaningless to me. You should talk to the mutt about it. I'm sure he knows how I feel. DIO was the first person, who was able to look deep within my soul and find something more. He was the one who gave me a desire to live. That glorious force of nature, he was so strong, so wise, so beautiful! He was the one and only person in my life to ever see a purpose for my existence. I waited such a long time, for an opportunity to meet him. I will gladly die for my master's sake. (coughs) But no matter what, I refuse to do anything that would disappoint him... (vomits blood) And after all, evil or not, a scoundrel needs someone to put his faith in... (chuckles) I'll tell you this before I go; You should know what my name is N'Doul, and my Stand hails from Egypt, the birthplace of the Tarot; It's referred to as one of the Nine Gods of Egypt, Geb of the great Ennead. We call it the God of the Earth... 
:'''Jotaro''': Nine Egyptian Gods? What does that mean? 
:'''N'Doul''': Ha ha ha! Sorry, but I'll only tell you about my Stand. It's only fair since you're the one who ended up stopping me, but info on my compatriots goes with me to my grave...

=== Khnum's Oingo and Tohth's Boingo [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.27]]]===
:'''Oingo''': Our cards are the God of knowledge Thoth, and the God of creation Khnum! We are the Oingo Boingo brothers!

=== Anubis [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.28 - 2.29]]]===
[''After Anubis successfully stabs Jotaro'']
:'''Anubis:''' I did it! I win! Master DIO, I've exterminated Jotaro. I, Anubis, have finally put him down. Victory is mine!
[''Star Platinum tries to pull the sword out'']
:'''Anubis:''' Just forget it. You're not going to be able to pull out that blade. Give up already. I'm not sure you're tiny brain has realized it, but I've surpassed Star Platinum. And now the final thrust...
:'''Jotaro:''' The...final thrust?
:'''Anubis:''' Yes, precisely! Once I slice open your bowels, Master DIO will rejoice!
:'''Jotaro:''' Please, stop this... Don't drive the blade any further. It...it'll be murder...
:'''Anubis:''' Nice try, but you won't get any mercy from me! I CAN'T WAIT TO SPILL YOUR GUTS!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Anubis:''' Hey! Yoohoo! Oh, fishies, look down here! Come on, swim over to me! Hey, wait! Where are you going?! Hey, Mr. Crab! It's a pleasure to meet ya'! Would you mind doing me a favor and taking me ashore? I'll give you something yummy. WAIT, Mr. Crab, you just can't leave me here! I'll be rusted through in a couple of days! Please, help me! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! OOOOH HO HO, I'M SO ALONE! 

=== Maraiah's Bastet [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.30 - 2.31]]]===
:'''Avdol''': &quot;Disasters in the bathroom&quot; is Polnareff's department!

:'''Joseph''': If that's how you're going to be, then it's your loss, young lady.
:'''Mariah''': What?! Sh-Shit...!
:'''Joseph''': Weren't you listening to us earlier? You've been caught between us the whole time! Magnets are attracted to each other, you know! It's too late to do anything about it now! By getting between us was your biggest blunder!
:'''Avdol''': There's no way she can hear you, Mr. Joestar. She's already lost consciousness. And all the magnetic forces crushed her and it's very likely that she snapped more than a few bones in the process.
:'''Joseph''': Alright, where do we get that breakfast are we talking about?
:'''Avdol''': Yes, a wonderful idea. All this running around has made me rather honery.
:'''Joseph''': Is it really only 9 AM?
:'''Mariah''': Damn you...piece of shit...

=== Set's Alessi [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.32 - 2.33]]]===
* '''Alessi''': Attaboy!

=== D'Arby the Gambler [2.34 - 2.35]===
: '''Daniel J. D'Arby''': Go ahead, mister Joestar!

: '''Daniel J. D'Arby''': I thought I laid it out plainly. If you don’t like gambling, then say so.
:'''Joseph''' (exasperated): For the last time, I have NO idea where you're going with this!
: '''Daniel J. D'Arby''': Oh, all right. What I'm asking is if you and your friends would like to play a little game.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jotaro''': Hold it. Why're you jumping the gun when I haven't raised the pot yet?
[''Avdol and the Dealer Boy gasp'']
: '''Daniel J. D'Arby''': R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Raise the pot?! No! You don't have anything to raise it with!
:'''Jotaro''': That’s where you’re wrong. I’ll raise you with my mother’s soul.
: '''Daniel J. D'Arby''': WHAT?!?!?!
:'''Avdol''': Are you out of your mind?! Jotaro, why would you bet your mother's soul?!
:'''Jotaro''': I came to Egypt to save my mother, so if I wager her soul, she won't mind. But, D'Arby, you'll have to match my mother's soul. For that... I'll have you tell me the secret of DIO's Stand!&quot;
:'''Jotaro''': Come on! Are you gonna call my bluff or fold?! Decision time! Spit it out already! D’ARBY!!!!!!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Daniel J. D'Arby''': Call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call...

=== Hol Horse and Boingo [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.36 - 2.37]]]===
:'''Hol Horse''': Listen, Boingo... I am not the nicest man in the world. I have girlfriends everywhere. I might lie to a woman, but I'll never hit them! It doesn't matter how ugly they are! Because I respect women!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Polnareff:''' Shut your mouth!
:'''Joseph:''' You mean-
:'''Hol Horse:''' (furious) Damn it, Polnareff! You lowdown, dirty son of a... You were cluing 'em in! You’ve pissed me off for the last time! I've just about had enough of you! Now, die!
[''Polnareff sneezes, revealing Hol Horse behind him'']
:'''Avdol:''' What's he doing here?!
:'''Hol Horse''': Why? You idiot, you had to sneeze?
[''Stand Chariot hits Hot Horse in the neck causing him to fall into the oil'']

'''Polnareff:''' Everyone, watch out! Hol Horse is back, and he's got a friend hiding under the crate, so be careful!

=== The Guardian of Hell, Pet Shop [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.38 - 2.39]]]===

=== D'Arby the Player [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.40 - 2.41]]]===
:'''Terrence D'Arby''': It-It can't be! I accidentally released his soul from the doll!

:'''Joseph''': Before I forget... what to do with you, you button-mashing jerk?
:'''Terrence T. D'Arby''': Oh, shit! Please, mercy, I beg you! I've already given you back Kakyoin's soul, haven't I? It's like they say, no harm, no foul! We're good... right? Right? Right?
:'''Jotaro''': You want to know whether I'll forgive you, why don't you just do what you do best and read my mind?
:'''Jotaro''''s soul: No! No! No! No! No!
:'''Jotaro''': Answer this. Will I hit you with my right fist or decide to deck you with my left? I'd love to know. 
:'''Terrence D'Arby''': Well, since you're asking, you'll use... your right one? 
:'''Jotaro''''s soul: No! No! No! No! No! 
:'''Terrence D'Arby''': Then... your left? 
:'''Jotaro''''s soul: No! No! No! No! No! 
:'''Terrence D'Arby''': You're... not gonna use both, are you? 
:'''Jotaro''''s soul: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! 
:'''Terrence D'Arby''': Are you going to do the &quot;Ora Ora&quot; thing?! 
:'''Joseph''': *annoyed* YES! YES! YES! OH MY GOD...!
:'''Star Platinum''': '''ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!'''
:'''Narrator''': Terrence D'Arby: Out of Commission!

=== The Miasma of the Void, Vanilla Ice [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.42 - 2.44]]]===
:'''Vanilla Ice''': Yes, it'd be an honor. (sets up a pot for Dio) What is mine is yours!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Avdol''': (While facing Vanilla Ice's Stand Cream) My god! What IS that abomination?! Impossible! Neither my flames nor Iggy could sense it! Where did it come from?! POLNAREFF, IGGY, YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW! 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vanilla Ice''': YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DEFEAT ME! 

=== DIO's World [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.45 - 2.47]]]===
'''DIO:''' Polnareff, have you ever considered why humans wish to live? Humans live hoping to conquer their anxieties and fear, and attain peace of mind. Seeking fame, controlling others, and acquiring wealth are all done to achieve peace of mind. Marriage and friendship are also pursued as means of attaining peace of mind. When humans say they wish to help others, or that a thing is done for love or justice...it's all merely to give themselves peace of mind. To achieve peace of mind is the goal of all mankind. Now, given that, what anxiety could you possibly feel towards serving me? Any other peace of mind would come easily if you do. Doesn't challenging me, even knowing that it may spell your death, bring you anxiety? You are a very capable Stand user. It's a waste to kill you. Why not cut ties with Joestar and the others, and serve me for eternity? I can promise you peace of mind for eternity.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[''The World fully materializes behind DIO'']
:'''DIO:''' Time to meet your end, Polnareff!
:'''Polnareff:''' So that's your stand, The World? Bring it!
:'''DIO:''' MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Senator Philips''': *thought, after DIO ripped his two front teeth and orders him to drive* &quot;W-who the hell are you!? Do you think you're going to get a away with this!? (to himself'') No, of course he won't. No one could get away with doing this to me. I graduated high school and college at the top of my class! I was captain of my college wrestling team! Even after I graduated, I was respected and revered! That's how I became a politician! I have a villa on a thousand acres in Hawaii! I married a beautiful model who is 25 years younger than me! I pay 50 times more in taxes than ordinary people! I've defeated every enemy I've faced! I'll eventually become President! I am Senator Philips!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kakyoin''': *monologue* I always thought living in a big city would mean meeting a lot of people. But how many people meet others that they can truly understand, and who truly understand them? I probably won't ever find someone who sees me for who I am. Because I don't have a single friend that can see my Hierophant Green.

=== The Faraway Journey, Farewell Friends [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders|[2.48]]]===
:'''DIO''': This is the final time I will stop time! THE WORLD!
[Time stops]
:'''DIO''': [smirks and jumps away into the air] One second has passed... Two seconds have passed... Three seconds have passed.
'''Narrator''': For some reason, DIO disappeared while time was stopped.
:'''DIO''': Four seconds have passed...
'''Narrator''': However, Jotaro has abandoned thought. NO matter what DIO has planned, or what attack he might unleash, in the two seconds that Jotaro can move within stopped time, all he needs to do is drive Star Platinum's fists into him in those two seconds!
:'''DIO''': Five seconds have passed...
:'''Jotaro''': (The one thing that I know, DIO, is that the next time I see your face, I'm probably going to bust a vein!
:'''DIO''': Six seconds have passed...
:'''Jotaro''': Bring it on, DIO!
:'''DIO''': Seven seconds have passed...
[''During DIO's frozen time, he appears in the air with a giant road roller, ready to crush Jotaro.'']
:'''DIO:''' '''I'M GOING TO ROLL ALL OVER YOU!!!'''
[''Star Platinum tries to punch the road roller back'']
:'''Star Platinum:''' ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!
:'''DIO:''' It's too late! Time to die!
[''DIO elbows the road roller at a rapid pace'']
:'''DIO:''' '''MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! EIGHT SECONDS HAVE PASSED! WRYYYYYYYY! I'LL OBLITERATE YOU!'''
:'''Star Platinum:''' ORA!
[The road roller smashes down, spreading dirt and debris everywhere]
:'''DIO''': Nine seconds have passed... I did it. It's over. Star Platinum has finally been defeated by my The World! Immortality! Eternal life! Heheheheh... Hahahahaha... '''AND STAND POWER!''' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This proves that no one can surpass DIO! Puny humans! I shall rule you all! Bow before my wisdom and power! Ten seconds have passed! Hehehehehe. Now my ability to stop time has reached ten seconds! Now then, I guess I should find Jotaro's lifeless body and drink his blood. If there's any left that is.
[DIO struggles to move]
:'''DIO''': This can't be... My body is slowing down... What's happening...? N-No... It's not that I'm slowing down... For some reason, I can't move at all! I don't get it! This is impossible! I'm frozen!
:'''Jotaro''': DIO! It's been eleven seconds. I guess that's your stand limit, huh?
:'''DIO''': What?!
:'''Jotaro''': I stopped time at nine seconds. It's a good thing I did. You gave me a chance to escape. Good grief, you idiot. Here's the thing! Since you're frozen like that, destroying you will only take a second!
:'''DIO''': Jo... Jotaro! This is madness! You can stop time, too? Curse you! This whole act was a ruse to waste my nine seconds, wasn't it, you bastard?!
:'''Jotaro''': How does it feel, DIO? Tell me.
:'''Star Platinum''': ORA!
[Star Platinum kicks DIO's left leg and breaks it]
:'''Jotaro''': Time is about to start moving again.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jotaro Kujo:''' If this were the Wild West, the hero would say &quot;It's High Noon.&quot; Now get off the ground and draw your piece, DIO. You're getting one shot.
:'''DIO:''' (Thinking) This insignificant whelp... How dare he mock me! Though I shouldn't be surprised. Of course you would use this opportunity to make such a human declaration! You think like a true mortal, cursed with a fleeting life destined for obscurity. A bad taste in your mouth, you say? What, are you afraid you'll regret killing me? That reasoning is as pathetic as your species, your foolish honor will be your demise! That is where you and I differ. My vision is clear and my mind is focused on a single goal. I want to dominate. Nothing more, nothing less. That is the only thing that will bring me fulfillment! But how I go about doing that...(speaking) DOESN'T MATTER IN THE SLIGHTEST!
[DIO squirts blood into Jotaro's eyes]
:'''DIO''': There! How about a little blood on your eyes?! I win! Die!
[The world spins and kicks at Jotaro]
:'''Jotaro/Star Platinum''': '''ORAAA!'''
[Jotaro and Star Platinum clench their fists and throw a heavy punch at The World's leg]
[Star Platinum's hand is damaged and DIO smirks]
:'''DIO:''' (as his head is destroyed while his Stand shatters from a clash with Star Platinum) &lt;big&gt;'''''WHAT THE HELL?! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I AM THE IMMORTAL DIO! I...AM...DIO...!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:[DIO's body explodes]
:'''Jotaro Kujo:''' When the sun comes up, you'll be nothing but dust. You only made one mistake. One that got you killed. DIO, this whole thing might've ended differently, but...you went and pissed me off. Was it worth it?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[After reviving Joseph by transfusing his blood back from Dio's corpse.]
:'''Jotaro Kujo:''' Old man?
:'''Joseph Joestar:''' [evil laugh] You're a damn fool, Jotaro! 
:'''Jotaro Kujo:''' You have got to be kidding! 
:'''Joseph Joestar:''' All you did was resurrect yours truly! 
:'''Jotaro Kujo:''' [actives his Stand] Bastard! 
:'''Joseph Joestar:''' WAIT! Calm down, Jotaro! It was a joke, I was just kidding! There's no need to get violent! I'm sorry. I was just trying to have some fun. You have my word, it's me!
:[shows off his Stand] 
:'''Joseph Joestar:''' I'm Joseph Joestar. I was born September 27 in 1920. My wife's name is Suzi Q and I collect comics as a hobby. 
:'''Jotaro Kujo:''' ...I have a question for you. Who's the leading actress in &quot;Tarzan the Ape Man&quot;? 
:'''Joseph Joestar:''' Bo Derek! 
:'''Jotaro Kujo:''' Okay, answer this one. Who sang &quot;Eat It&quot;, the spoof of &quot;Beat It&quot;? 
:'''Joseph Joestar:''' &quot;Weird&quot; Al Yankovic!
:'''Jotaro Kujo:''' Good grief... It has to be you. Who else would know pointless crap like that?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Polnareff''': Goodbye, you wrinkled old coot, you live a long life, you hear? And you, his cheapskate grandson; don't you dare forget about me!
:'''Joseph Joestar''': Let us meet again! That is if you don't already hate me by then, you stupid jackass!
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': I can't ever forget a clown like you even if I tried, you bastard. Take care.

==Part IV, [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|Diamond is Unbreakable]]==

=== Jotaro Kujo! Meets Josuke Higashikata [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.1]]]===
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': You can have your stupid talk about hair later.
:'''Josuke Higashikata''': What were you saying about my hair, huh!
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': Wait, Josuke. I wasn't insulting you.
(Josuke summons Crazy Diamond's arm)
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': (Shit! Here it comes!)
(Jotaro uses Star Platinum's arm to punch Josuke in the face)
(Josuke spits out blood and kneels down)
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': Do you see it, Josuke? This is a stand. It's the physical manifestation of your psychological energy. Joseph Joestar has one too. Stands can only be seen by other stand users.
:'''Josuke Higashikata''': It pisses me off so much when someone talks bad about my awesome hair. I can't even help it!
(Josuke fully summons Crazy Diamond)
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': So this is Josuke's stand!
:'''Crazy Diamond''': DORARAAAAA!
(Star Platinum attempts to block Crazy Diamond's punch barrage)
:'''Crazy Diamond''': DORA!
(Crazy Diamond breaks Star Platinum's gaurd with a powerful punch)
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': Th-This power!
:'''Josuke Higashikata''': Heh. You're wide open from your chin down!
(Crazy Diamond throws a punch)
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': Bastard!
(Crazy Diamond follows through but Jotaro is gone)
:'''Josuke Higashikata''': What?
(Jotaro appears behind Josuke and his hat warps)
:'''Josuke Higashikata''': When did y-
(Jotaro punches Josuke and the group of girls exclaim)
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': Shut your mouths and get the hell out of here before that whining bitching makes me angrier!

=== Josuke Higashikata! Meets Angelo [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.2]]]===
:'''Josuke''': (after fusing Angelo with a stone) Enjoy your eternal penance, Angelo. Reflect on the life you stole from my grandpa and all the others!

=== The Nijimura Brothers [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.3-3.5]]] ===
(Okuyasu reveals his stand 「ZA HANDO」)

'''Okuyasu:''' Josuke Higashikata! I, Okuyasu Nijimura will make you disappear with my The Hand!

'''Okuyasu:''' Here we go!

=== Koichi Hirose (Echoes) [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.6]]] ===

=== Toshikazu Hazamada (Surface) [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.7]]] ===

:'''Josuke''': Seriously? There are other Stand users besides us at this school?
:'''Tamami''': Yeah. He's Toshikazu Hazamada, a student in 3-C. This Hazamada guy apparently got into an argument over something silly with a friend right around the start of spring. One of them had insulted the other's favorite idol or anime or something. That night, surprisingly, the friend he got into an argument with gouged out his own eye with a mechanical pencil. Isn't that insane?
:'''Tamami''': Apparently Hazamada's friend said this at the hospital: &quot;Next thing I knew, I was staring with at my left eye, which I'd gouged out, with my right eye.&lt;ref name=&quot;3.7&quot;&gt;[http://www.crunchyroll.com/jojos-bizarre-adventure/episode-7-toshikazu-hazamada-show-off-702309 Episode 7 – Toshikazu Hazamada (Show Off)]&lt;/ref&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Koichi''': There's something scary going on in my town. If Morioh City is in danger, that means my parents, my sister, and everyone else important to me will have to face that danger. So even if it's scary, I gotta do something!&lt;ref name=&quot;3.7&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''[A high school girl, mistaking Surface's imitation for the real Josuke, hands it a love letter.]''
:'''Hazamada''': Why the hell did you accept that? Rip this stupid thing up!
:''[Hazamada rips up the letter.]''
:'''Hazamada''': Damn it... What the hell is the difference between you and me?
:'''Surface''': Why does that even matter?
:'''Hazamada''': Wha...
:'''Surface''': You don't have time to waste, do you?
:'''Hazamada''': Who the hell do you think you're talking to?!
:''[Hazamada punches Surface in the face, accompanied with a dull thunk. He ends up with a wound on his hand.]''
:'''Hazamada''': ''Ow!''
:'''Surface''': You scraped your hand? That was dumb. I'm made of wood, remember?
:''[Hazamada attacks his Stand once more, this time with his bag.]''
:'''Hazamada''': Shut up! Get away from me!&lt;ref name=&quot;3.7&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''[Hazamada, thinking back on other times he used his Stand to replicate other people.]''
:'''Hazamada''': The other day, I had it copy my crush, Junko, so I could have my way with her, but I got pissed off because it kept doing things to piss me off, so I never even got anywhere. Doesn't anyone in this world have a decent personality? Damn it!&lt;ref name=&quot;3.7&quot;/&gt;

=== Yukako Yamagishi Is In Love [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.8 - 3.9]]] ===

:'''Hazamada''': Stand users, for some reason, seem to be unknowingly drawn to each other, &lt;ref name=&quot;3.7&quot;&gt;[http://www.crunchyroll.com/jojos-bizarre-adventure/episode-7-toshikazu-hazamada-show-off-702309 Episode 7 – Toshikazu Hazamada (Show Off)]&lt;/ref&gt;

&lt;hr width-50%/&gt;

:'''Koichi''': Wh... What should I do... To make Yukako think that I'm '''bad''' for her?
:'''Josuke''': Well, guys usually dislike... '''&quot;momma's boys&quot;'''. Or, you know, guys with '''bad hygiene'''.
:'''Koichi''': D-definitely not that momma's-boy thing! She might do something to my mom, and put her in danger!
:'''Okuyasu''': Then we gotta go for the '''bad hygiene''' thing! If you go all out with this, she'll start to hate you for sure!
:All right, Koichi! Starting today, don't take baths! And don't brush your teeth, and wear the same underwear every day! And... breed ''lice'' and ''fleas'' in your hair!
:'''Koichi''': D... Don't fool around! I'm serious here!
:'''Okuyasu''': I'm completely serious too!&lt;ref name=&quot;ch296&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Yukako''': Koichi, you... don't seem to be very well-liked by your friends. But don't worry... I'm here with you...! From now on, I'll stay by your side and '''make you into a &quot;real man&quot;'''! That's why I'm here to take you away!&lt;ref name=&quot;ch296&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Koichi''': &lt;small&gt;B... yeah?&lt;/small&gt;
:'''Yukako''': '''AHHH! Correct!''' I'm glad! See, you do know this! And here it is, your boiled egg! Here, I'll take the shell off for you... Do you want some salt with it?
:'''Koichi''': ''(Phew... she seems to be in a good mood now! Now if only she'll let her guard down so I can leave...)''
:'''Yukako''': By the way, if you had chosen 'A', I would have made you eat this eraser!
:'''Koichi''': &lt;big&gt;''HUH?!''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Yukako''': Box C had a bar of soap.&lt;ref name=&quot;ch297&quot;&gt;Vol. 32 Ch.297: ''Yukako Yamagishi Is In Love &lt;small&gt;Part 4&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

=== Let's go out for Italian [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.10]]] ===
:'''Josuke''': For the love of God, drop the meat!

=== Red Hot Chili Pepper [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.11 - 3.12]]] ===
:'''Akira''': I'm ready for round 2 with Crazy Diamond, but I'll only use my little pinky... just like I did with Okuyasu!
.....
:'''Josuke''': If you're planning to use only your pinky in this showdown, then I've got a couple of rules of my own.
:'''Akira''': You can take your rules and shove 'em, fool! Rules are wasted on a punk kid like you!
(Josuke breaks Akira's pinky with a punch)
:'''Akira''': AAAAAAAAAAAGH! YOU DAMN BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU?!
:'''Josuke''': Well, you did say that rules are wasted on me. You also said something about bringing me down with your pinky finger. So what's the wannabe rocker Otoishi gonna do now?
:'''Akira''': I'll kill you.
:'''Josuke''': YOU ALREADY SAID THAT! Don't you have any new material, fool?!

=== We Picked Up Something Crazy! [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.13]]] ===
:'''Joseph''': [feeling the baby] Josuke... this is a girl. 
:'''Josuke''': Yeah, you can tell if it's a boy or a girl by feeling between the legs. 
:[Both laugh. Beat, then Josuke chases Joseph with his stick] 

:[the baby falls into a pond and Josuke can't see her] 
:'''Joseph''': [cuts his hand] Josuke... if this kills me, please give my regards to your mother. I am quite old, after all. 
:'''Josuke''': What the hell are you doing? 
:'''Joseph''': Adding color to the water so that we can trace the baby. 
:[It works, and the baby is found] 
:'''Josuke''': Why would he do this for a baby, for someone he doesn't even know? 
:'''Joseph''': I just wanted to look cool, in front of my boy. 
:[Josuke smiles at his father, and helps him up]

=== Let's Go Play at the Mangaka's House [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.14-3.15]]] ===

:'''Josuke''': What the hell... did you say... HUH?!?!?!?!
:'''Okuyasu''': Just take it easy, Josuke!
:'''Josuke''': I dare you to insult my hair again!

:'''Crazy Diamond''': DORARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA!!!!!
:'''Rohan''': Now witness Heaven's Door! I win. (it backfires on him)
:'''Okuyasu''': How the...?!
:'''Crazy Diamond''': DORARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA!!!!!
:'''Rohan''': How is this happening?! I'm certain his eyes were open and he got a full flash of the manuscript! So why hasn't my Stand ability taken the fact?!
:'''Koichi''': We're back to normal!
:'''Okuyasu''': You're right!
:'''Rohan''': I know I showed him the page... So why?
:'''Josuke''': Where the hell did you slither off to?! Get out of here, you punk bitch!!!!! Come on out, you manga-obsessed asshole! I've got a story for ya!
:'''Josuke''': '''LAST TIME I WAS NOT DONE PUNCHING YOU!!!!!!!!!'''

=== Let's Go 'Hunting'! [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.16]]] ===

=== Rohan Kishibe's Adventure [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.17]]] ===

=== 'Shigechi's' Harvest [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.18-3.19]]] ===

=== Yoshikage Kira Wants a Quiet Life [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.21-3.22]]] ===
:'''Kira''': (to Shigechi) My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone..
:'''Okuyasu''': Damn, you are so annoying!  Fine, search the room! I want you to! Search until you pass out! Go for it!
:'''Josuke''': For the last time, why would we steal a stupid sandwich?!

=== Yukako Yamagishi's Vision of Cinderella [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.20]]] ===

=== Sheer Heart Attack [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.23-3.24]]] ===

:'''Koichi''': Y-You've been hitting it so hard, you're starting to bleed, but it still doesn't have a single scratch on it!
:'''Jotaro:''' For the last time, get back Koichi!

:'''Koichi''': Now I'm really getting '''''pissed off'''''... Shouldn't this be the ''other way around''? Why was I running around and being all &quot;God help me&quot; just because of some serial killer? '''''I don't get it'''''... Why should I be running in fear like somebody with ''diarrhea'' looking for a ''toilet''? '''''When...''''' &lt;big&gt;''THAT FUCKING '''SERIAL KILLER!'''''&lt;/big&gt; '''''HE SHOULD BE THE ONE RUNNING FROM ME!'''''&lt;ref name=&quot;ch358&quot;&gt;Vol. 38 Ch.358: ''Sheer Heart Attack &lt;small&gt;Part 5&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

:'''Waiter''': Evening, sir. I hope everything's all right. Can I help at all?
:'''Kira''': No thanks. Bring me the bill. And please allow me to pay for the cup. There's something that needs my attention, so hop to it. ''[takes out his wallet as he notices the weight on his arm]'' This indentation. Why's my left hand so heavy!?
''[His left hand is forced to fall on the table by vandalizing it as he falls on the ground]''
:'''Waiter''': Sir, are you okay!?
:'''Kira''': What the hell is this!? My left hand weighs a ton! It feels like there's a massive weight pressing against it!
:'''Waiter''': Do you need some assistance, sir?
:'''Kira''': No, everything's just fine, really let go.
:'''Waiter''': Please, take my hand.
:'''Kira''': This weight!
''[Kira grabs the waiter's shirt by ripping it in half all the way to the ground because of his left hand being way to heavy]''
:'''Waiter''': Good heavens, sir. Was it something I said?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

''[During the fight between Kira and Koichi, after Kira proceeds to punch and kick the highschooler in the face, before beating his head against the concrete several times.]''
:'''Koichi''': Your&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;name&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;is&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;'''Kira Yoshikage,''' right?
:'''Kira''': '''!!'''
:'''Koichi''': '''''It's Kira Yoshikage.''''' That's...&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;your full...&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;name...
:'''Kira''': [Slams Koichi's face into the pavement, once again.] My driver's license.'' When did you steal my wallet? You fucking brat!
:'''Koichi''': You said you had to pay extra at the cafe..... You took out your ID and put it in the wrong pocket.....
:'''Kira''': ... '''''So what?''''' What are you doing to do now that you have my name? I'm still going to erase you.
:'''Koichi''': Sure, you might get away for the time being, but you know what, Kira? I bet your every thought is mocking you for letting a whiny brat unravel the mystery of your name. And if they aren't, I'll do the honors for them: A mulling little high schooler just found you out! YOU'RE SUCH A COLOSSAL DUMBASS! 
:'''Kira''': ...
:'''Koichi''': I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE, YOU MURDER-HAPPY SON OF A BITCH!
:'''Kira''': '''''You damned brat!'''''
''[Kira's [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure#Supernatural Powers|Stand]], Killer Queen, punches a hole directly through Koichi's abdomen, incapacitating him.]''
:'''Kira''': Why does it feel like ''I lost to this little shit?''&lt;ref name=&quot;ch361&quot;&gt;Vol. 39 Ch.361: ''Sheer Heart Attack &lt;small&gt;Part 8&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
''[After Kira is finished with Koichi, he has a brief conversation with a bloodied and beaten Jotaro]''
:'''Jotaro''':  Nice watch you have there. Go ahead and take one last look at it, cause I'm about to bust it up. To be clear, by it, I mean your face. (Manages to hit Kira) Good freaking grief, I take it back. Up close that watch is tacky as hell, although to be fair, that's the least of your worries now. There's something that's gonna look a lot worse than that piece of junk... and that, my friend, is your putrid face. ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! ORA!!!

=== Atom Heart Father [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.25]]] ===

=== Yoshikage Kira's New Face [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.25]]] ===

=== Janken Boy is Coming! [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.26]]] ===

=== I Am An Alien [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.27]]] ===

:''[After Okuyasu and Josuke find Mikitaka passed out in the middle of a crop circle, and Mikitaka finally wakes up.]''
:'''Mikitaka''': So, this is Earth?
:'''Okuyasu &amp; Josuke''': .................
:'''Mikitaka''': Last night I was taking a walk when suddenly I fell ill...
:''[Mikitaka checks his watch.]''
:'''Mikitaka''': It seems I lost consciousness. That would have been... about 13 Earth hours ago.
:'''Okuyasu &amp; Josuke''': ..............................
:'''Okuyasu &amp; Josuke''': &lt;big&gt;'''''AHH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[The two teenagers begin rolling on the ground in laughter.]''
:'''Okuyasu''': Hahahahaha! This bastard... He's just pulling our legs... hahaha! And in a crop circle too...
:'''Josuke''': Damn, I wish I'd thought of this prank! Hahaha!&lt;ref name=&quot;ch378&quot;&gt;Vol. 40 Ch.378: ''I Am An Alien! &lt;small&gt;Part 1&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''[After Mikitaka proclaims to Josuke and Okuyasu that he is, in fact, an alien.]''
:'''Okuyasu''': Ahahahaha...
:'''Josuke''': Dude, it's cool. You can drop the act now. Keep going and you'll ruin it. Here, have some tissues.
:''[Josuke holds out a pack of tissues to Mikitaka. Mikitaka looks at them for a moment, before picking them up and eating them.]''
:'''Mikitaka''': Thank you. It was quite delicious.
:'''Josuke and Okuyasu''': ..................&lt;ref name=&quot;ch378&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''[Josuke and Okuyasu discover that the ice cream shop they normally go to is closed.]''
:'''Mikitaka''': Would you like some ice cream?
:'''Okuyasu''': It's that guy...
:'''Mikitaka''': Well? Would you like some?
:'''Okuyasu''': Well, yeah. But they're closed. It can't be helped.
:'''Mikitaka''': Oh no! Helped is something it most certainly can be! I happen to have some with me...
:''[Okuyasu and Josuke stare as Mikitaka retrieves two cold ice cream cones from his bag.]''
:'''Mikitaka''': This is to thank you for the tissues. A token of gratitude, if you will.
:'''Mikitaka''': Earth seems like a very nice place. I like it.&lt;ref name=&quot;ch378&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Mikitaka''': My name is ''Nu Mikitakazo N'shi''. I have lived 216 of your Earth years. I am employed as an ''intergalactic pilot''. My hobbies include ''caring for animals''.&lt;ref name=&quot;ch379&quot;&gt;Vol. 40 Ch.378: ''I Am An Alien! &lt;small&gt;Part 2&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

=== Highway Star [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.28-3.29]]] ===

''[When Rohan was subjected to Highway Star's Stand powers.]''
:'''Rohan''': ''But I refuse!''
:'''Highway Star''': What!?
:'''Rohan''': One of the things that I, Kishibe Rohan, love to do, is to say &quot;NO!&quot; to people who think they're hot shit!

=== The Cat That Likes Yoshikage Kira [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.30]]] ===

=== The Man on the Tower [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.31-3.33]]] ===
:'''Mikitaka''': I'll remain with this pylon. This all started because I found it, and this happened because I turned into a wire and climbed all the way up here.&lt;ref name=&quot;3.32&gt;[http://www.crunchyroll.com/jojos-bizarre-adventure/episode-32-july-15th-thurs-part-2-720847 Episode 32 – July 15th (Thurs), Part 2]&lt;/ref&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Mikitaka''': I can be useful, too. I wanted you guys to be proud of me, and that's why I did it. Even though Okuyasu told me to stay out of it. I got what I deserved.
:'''Mikitaka''': Please don't worry about me. If I think of it as if it were the inside of a spaceship, it seems quite spacious.&lt;ref name=&quot;3.32&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Mikitaka''': Josuke, I thought you were defeated, but I guess you had already won.&lt;ref name=&quot;3.32&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''[Referring to Toyohiro.]''
:'''Narrator''': New Morioh landmark: the guy who lives on a pylon. He lives completely self-sufficiently, but if you bring him salt or snacks, he'll be happy and let you take pictures with him. He's a bit shy, so he wears a mask and won't tell you his real name.

:'''Josuke''': (impatiently) Yuya, for the last time, where is the scent coming from!?
:'''Miyamoto''': I imagined, regardless of Josuke's tough exterior, plopping his mother before his eyes would certainly stir up pangs of dread.

=== Enigma Boy [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.31-3.33]]] ===

:'''Terunosuke''': I'm having such fun with the attention you're giving me. The fact that you're giving me attention out of fear, that is.&lt;ref name=&quot;3.32&quot;/&gt;

=== My Dad Is Not My Dad! [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.31-3.32]]] ===
* '''Kira''': Now, I believe I asked you to tell me your name.
* '''Woman''': What did you do to my boyfriend? He was right here before—
* '''Kira''': DON'T EVER ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION! YOU DID LEARN PROPER ETIQUETTE WHILE YOU WERE IN SCHOOL, NOW DIDN'T YOU?! I'M ASKING YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOUR NAME IS!
* Woman: Minako! My name is Minako!
* '''Kira''': [instantly calming down] Minako. Hmm. What a beautiful name your parents bestowed upon you. I approve. [Kills her with Killer Queen]

=== Cheap Trick [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|[3.31-3.33]]] ===

=== Another One Bites the Dust ===
:'''Kira''': ''[to Shigechi]'' You can call me Yoshikage Kira. Not that you'd care, but I reside in northeast Morioh's villa district. Also, I've yet to marry. In order to make a living, I work for Kame Yu department stores. After a long day's work, I return home no later than 8 PM. I don't like smoking, but do enjoy the occasional drink. I'm always in bed by 11 PM, and I make it a point to get no less than eight hours of sleep each night. Before bed, I drink a warm glass of milk, it's always coupled with twenty minutes of stretching to decompress from the long work day. Sweet dreams are the usual result of this. I then awake as refreshed and recharged as a newborn child, ready to take on the day's challenges, and after my last checkup I was given a clean bill of health. For as long as I can remember I've done everything in my power to live a productive life that allows me to pursue a lasting inner peace. This may be a foreign concept, but I choose not to concern my self with winning or losing, life's troubles, or enemies who bring sleepless nights. That is how I cope with this backwards life we find ourselves living. It's what brings me happiness in a world fraught with hardship and misery. Of course, if I were ever to engage in combat, I would win the battle without question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
'''Kira:''' Luck has sided with Yoshikage Kira!

=== Crazy Diamond is Unbreakable ===
'''Hayato Kawajiri (to Kira):''' Any fate that would side with you... any opportunity that would come your way... is nothing compared to the heart of justice that's here now!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

'''Kira:''' When I was a child, you’ve heard of Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, right? When I saw that painting in an art book, when I first saw that, I don’t know how to put it. Um this is a bit dirty, but… I got an erection… I just cut out the part with her hands and hung it in my room for a while. I want to cut off yours too! My name is Yoshikage Kira! I’ve killed 48 women with beautiful hands up to now. You’re the only one! You’re the only one who will know my identity! 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
'''Kira:''' (while grabbed by the spectral hands) Killer Queen! Make whatever this is explode! (Killer Queen is destroyed while Kira is dragged away) Oh, God, no! Where are they going to take me?! Say something, please! I have to know why they're taking me! What are they going to do?! Free me!

==Part V, [[w:Vento Aureo|Vento Aureo]]==
===Gold Experience===
* '''Giorno''': Luca... Don't make me say the same thing twice. I've told you that I already paid, so I don't have any. So please don't make me say it a third time.
* '''Bucciarati''': (Licking Giorno after he lied about having nothing to do with Luca) This taste... Is the taste of someone who's lying! Giorno Giovanna!

* '''Bucciarati''': Speak! You know who's responsible. Were you told not to tell anyone? Let's have you tell me who did Luca in.

: '''Giorno''' (to Bucciarati): You wouldn't believe me if I told you it was an accident, would you? So I'm going to be disposed of, right? And you came here fully prepared, right? When you're going to dispose of someone, you always prepared for the possibility that you could end up being the one disposed of, right?

===Meet the Gangster Behind the Wall===
: '''Black Sabbath''': You're the one who ignited the flame! I offer two paths, but you must pick the one that leads to salvation! Time to choose: Do you live on and become one of the chosen, or do you recede along the path of death?

===Joining the Familia===
: '''Giorno''' (As the lighter goes out) &quot;Are you shitting me?&quot; 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Koichi''': &quot;What was that Stand?&quot; 
: '''Giorno''' &quot;Didn't you see? The murdering kind.&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Giorno''' (to Black Sabbath): &quot;You told me there were two paths, but sadly, you only have one.&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Polpo''': If having faith in one's fellow man is paramount, then must be also be true that there's no greater offense to a fellow man then the act of disrespect. Listen carefully. Abusing that trust is unacceptable. Not only does the act dishonor the benefactor of that fragile trust, then it also jeopardizes his very life and livelihood. Money and profit mustn't cloud your judgement. It doesn't matter if you lost a seat at the theatre or even a bus stop. We don't engage in actions that risk one's own life. Conflict's a sport for barbarians. It's a pastime for fools. But, if I or any of my men are disrespected, all bets are off. In the eyes of God, murder is acceptable when one has been disrespected.

: '''Polpo''': Did he really kept the flame alight for 24 hours? Or did he relight the lighter and become a Stand User? I don't care either way. Young ones like him can be easily manipulated, we can do whatever we want of him now! (picks up a banana that was a gun that Giorno transformed, resulting in his death.)

: '''Giorno''' (thought): ''&quot;In the eyes of God, murder is acceptable when one has been disrespected.&quot; I see. What you told me is very important. You disrespected that innocent old man's life. So I changed one of your guns into a banana. You should savor your last meal while you can.''

===Let's Find Polpo's Fortune!===
:'''Panacotta Fugo''': (stabs Narancia and smashes his face into the table for getting an answer wrong) MEASLY LITTLE PUNK-SHIT! YOU THINK YOU CAN MESS WITH ME?! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KEEP TEACHING YOU THIS LESSON?! YOU DENSE CAGACAZZO!!! 
:'''Mista''': Uh-huh, now he's definitely gone off the deep end. Hey, Abbacchio, you gonna eat the rest of that cake or what?

===Express Train to Florence===
:'''Mista''': Guess being stuck inside a turtle has its drawbacks. It's kinda muggy. Hey Narancia, you want a drink, too? Hope you're good with it being cold. There's cola and mineral water, sparkling water, and apple, orange, and pineapple juice. ''[noticing that Narancia's gone deaf]'' Hey, are you listening to me at all?!
:'''Narancia''': Huh? You say something, Mista?
:'''Mista''': I asked if you wanted something to drink! Though you might wanna try getting some shut-eye! You've seen better days there, man. I'll keep an eye on the ceiling while you rest.
:'''Narancia''': Sounds like a plan! I'm actually starting to feel a little achy, anyway. My back and shoulders are killing me, so I think I'll cop a squat. Something warm would sure hit the spot right now, but nothing too heavy.
:'''Mista''': For the last time, all we've got in the fridge are cold ones! Come on! Does your brain shut down when you talk to people!?
:'''Narancia''': In that case, banana, it is. Yeah. ''[reads the magazine]'' Gardens like these really soothe the soul. Your stress just melts away. So heavenly. Man, oh, man. what I'd give to bask in that Garden of Eden's warm sunshine, just daydreaming about the good old days.
:'''Mista''' ''[disgusted]'': Gross! Would you cut that shit out!? Nobody wants your nasty-ass spit on the damn pages!
:'''Narancia''': Huh? You're saying I did what now!? There's no way! You're crazy!
''[Narancia coughs up blood and loses one tooth because of the aging]''
:'''Mista''': You're, uh, drooling pretty bad there, man. That is so freaking nasty! The heck is that!? Hey!

===The Grateful Dead===
:'''Bucciarati''': Earlier, I saw nobility and resolve that was hardened like a diamond, shining in your eyes. But you’ve fallen. Now you’re just a piece of shit.
:'''Pesci''': Fallen? Fallen, you say?!
(Pesci goes to slam Coco Jumbo on the ground)
:'''Pesci''': The only ones who are going to fall and get crushed are these bastards! You won't make it in time! I hope you enjoy hell, Bucciarati!
(Sticky Fingers is summoned and launches his arm at Pesci, hitting him in the face)
:'''Bucciarati''': You're going to fail, no matter what, when you're a piece of shit.
(Sticky fingers launches Pesci towards him and retracts his arm)
:'''Sticky Fingers''': ARRIARRIARRIARRIARRIARRIARRIARRIARRIARRIARRI! ARRI!
(Pesci is split into many pieces)
:'''Bucciarati''': &quot;Arrivederci.&quot;
(Pesci and his many pieces fall into the lake)

=== White Album ===
:'''Ghiaccio''': There's only one way to catch these guys. &quot;Leave no stone unturned and think outside the box&quot;, they said. I get &quot;leaving no stone unturned&quot;. Any idiot would. I mean, who hasn't turned over rocks to find stuff? *begins wrecking his car* BUT WHAT THE HELL IS &quot;THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX&quot; EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! MAYBE I THINK BETTER IN THERE! DAMN IT! SO MY BRAIN'S IN A BOX NOW?! THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD! THINK I'M AN IDIOT, CAZZO?!

:'''Ghiaccio''': Everyone knows the capital of France. But English speakers pronounce it &quot;Paris&quot;, while most say &quot;Paree&quot;, the way it's supposed to be. But somehow, &quot;Venice&quot; has replaced the real &quot;Venezia&quot; as the global standard. Like those stories, The “Merchant of Venice” and “Death in Venice”... WHY?! CALL THE DAMN BOOK “DEATH IN VENEZIA!” IT'S NOT THAT HARD! ARE WE NOT GOOD ENOUGH?! LEARN A LITTLE ITALIAN, PUTTANA, AND CALL THE THING WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE! WHAT KIND OF POMPOUS BULLSHIT ARE THEY ON ABOUT?!

:'''Giorno''': Mista... Your determination... it shines even brighter than the morning sun. It showed us the way forward. And it's put us on a path toward tomorrow! We've won because of you!
:'''Ghiaccio''': '''WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!'''
:'''Gold Experience''': '''MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!'''

:'''Giorno''': Oh, and there's one more thing: Since I'm not actually healing your body, you're still going to have a bit of residual pain.
:'''Mista''': GAH! WHAT THE HELL! Do you have to be so rough, Giorno? Take it easy on me, I'm injured!
:'''Giorno''': I already told you, there's nothing I can do. Settle down and take it like a Mafioso. Besides, there's about 18 more to go, and you'll have to strip it if you want this to work.
(...)
:'''Mista''': AAH! GIORNO!!
:'''Narancia''': Ah, there they are! Mista! Huh?
:'''Mista''': (in a very awkward positioning with Giorno) Would you stop doing so hard?! Ah, leave my damn clothes on, it's too intense! Gah! Woah! OOH!
:'''Narancia''': (GASP!)
:'''Bucciarati''': Narancia? Did you find them?
:'''Narancia''': Huh!? Why, u-uh... No? But...Argh! There's something in my eyes! (covering his eyes) It's so hard to see in this early morning light! I'll keep after it, though!
:'''Mista''': Ah, Giorno! No! Stop! Agh! I can't take it anymore! '''NOT SO ROUGH, ''DAMMIIIIIITTT!!!!'''''

===The Final Mission from the Boss===
:'''Bucciarati''' (furious after realizing his boss's intent to kill Trish): This filth's being peddled in my city!? It was supposed to be prohibited! Now the boss is... our damn boss! His wretchedness makes me want to puke! Abusing the weak and innocent is just a means to an end, profiting from the pain and suffering of countless citizens! Coward! You'd do it to your daughter!! You're a fiendish monster!! You're a disgrace, and you've let me down again, but you've done it for the last time!!! ''[summons Zipper Man and punches the floor of the elevator]

:'''Bucciarati''': There. Trish is still alive. ''[drops Giorno's Button]'' Good, it stuck. Cazzo. I didn't see his face. At first, I was content with uncovering your identity, but everything's changed. After what you've done, die! Think fast! The boss still assumes that I'm absolutely loyal to him. He'll die by... assassination! I'll ambush him as he tries to escape and kill the bastard.
''[Bucciarati finds Trish's bathroom sink cabinet]''

:'''Bucciarati''': Wait. This is... ''[finds the hole]'' This opening... of course! The demented bastard would hide in a crypt of a church. He thinks he can murder Trish in complete anonymity. His plan must be to pass through the crypt to escape the building on the other side.
''[Bucciarati enters the boss' lair]''

:'''Bucciarati''': But I'm lying in wait. There! In position. Now!
:'''Diavolo''': Leave this place, Bruno Bucciarati. If you emerge from that pillar, you will die.

===The Mystery of King Crimson=== 
:'''Diavolo''': Your rationale intrigues me. Just what were you thinking? I had a great deal of respect for your excellence and devotion to the mission until now. Was your judgment clouded by your promotion to Capo? Or, did your hubris seduce you into thinking you had the power and ability to overtake me? 
:'''Bucciarati''': Once Trish regains consciousness, I'll be sure to let her know you never existed! 
:'''Diavolo''': Trish, you say? Why bring her into this dispute? My daughter is of no concern to you and your ilk. 
:'''Bucciarati''': Demon! You could never understand what's in my heart!

:'''Diavolo''': Think of this as a gift. A farewell gift from the heart. In a moment, you will cease to exist, so I will allow you to know now. What you witnessed and felt, was your future self laid bared! Simply put, your past self saw a future version. Now behold, know the almighty power of King Crimson! I obliterated time then leapt beyond it! It doesn't matter who it is, I shall never allow any cretin to threaten my eternal transcendence. Not. Ever. The time has come for you to fade away! Bucciarati, your mission as protector has been terminated. Now may the fires of hell embrace you!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Leone Abbacchio''': Fugo's absolutely right. What you did is basically suicide. No matter where in the world you might run to, you'll never find a safe haven again. Besides, I pledged my loyalty to the organization. It's not like I pledged my loyalty to you. That being said... I never had a home or place I wanted to go. The only time I'm ever at ease... is when I'm with you, Bucciarati.

===Clash and Talking Head=== 
:'''Random rich guy''': (after Narancia spilled wine on his suit) What are you gonna do about this, you little shit!? You think you can pay for this!? This suit cost four million lire! Let's take this outside!! 
:'''Narancia''': (smacks the guy with a wine glass) Then you must be the enemy!
:'''Mista''': What!? (He and Narancia proceed to stomp on the guy after he hits the ground, joined by Abbacchio after taking a slip of his wine while watching them.)
:'''Abbacchio''': (Stops kicking) Hold on, Narancia, Mista. I don't think this one's an enemy. He's unconscious. He's most definitely not an enemy.
:'''Narancia''': Wha!? Seriously!? Crap, what do I do now!? 
:'''Mista''': Yep, the stain's going to be hard to clean. One single drop of red wine on a white suit really stands out.
:'''Narancia''': I can't pay for this shit!
:'''Mista''': Well, the location of the stain might make it look like a button. If he puts a button here, he can hide it. 
:'''Abbacchio''': (feeds the guy their meals) While we're at it, let's get him to make sure there isn't any poison in our food...

===Green Day and Oasis===
:'''Giorno''': You were close. I drew out my speech in order to buy myself time. The bullet tore a hole to your head still had to mature, before eventually making its way back to the initial wound. The shrapnel that drew it was lodged in your skull and returned to its original form as a beetle, one whose growth I happened to accelerate greatly with Gold Experience when I aimed for the propellers. I wanted to be certain you were completely neutralized meaning I had to finish you off, whether or not I can still hear a heartbeat.
:'''Cioccolata''': (his head is still bleeding after a stag beetle tore through it) But.. but you said... that if I just stayed still... that I-I would...still m-make it out of this alive...
:'''Giorno''': Oh, give me a break. If you really thought I was being serious, then you're the worthless fool. I don't spare pieces of shit.
:'''Cioccolata''': (angered at what Giorno just called him) WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!
:'''Gold Experience''': MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! WRYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! 
:'''Cioccolata''': (pain noises)
:'''Gold Experience''': MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! MUDA!

===His Name is Diavolo===
:'''Diavolo''': (confronting Polnareff) Fascinating how the past can wriggle its way back, not matter how many pieces I may cut it up into. You amaze me, I'd never thought I would deal with the same vermin more than once.

: '''Polnareff''': Walk up those steps and see what happens, asshole! I have the high ground while you're stuck way down there

===The Requiem Quietly Plays===
:'''Diavolo''': No one can escape the fate that was chosen for them. All that remains is the end, where you all will perish. Eternal greatness exists only within myself. Sing a song of sorrow in a world where time has vanished.

:'''Bucciarati''': (in Diavolo's body) Narancia, how does our perimeter look? Are you able to detect anyone coming? Narancia?
:'''Mista''': (in Trish's body) Please. I'm begging you. Just one more bullet. Please just drop one more! You're driving me nuts!
:'''Trish''': (in Mista's body) What the hell? Why couldn't I feel his soul like I usually do? It doesn't make any sense!
:'''Giorno''': (in Narancia's body) Out of the way! Move! Let me through! Now!
:'''Polnareff''': Damn it, no! That's impossible! How on Earth could he have---?!
:'''Bucciarati''': (in Diavolo's body) Mista, scan the area right now! Make sure there's no one around!
:'''Mista''': (in Trish's body) Narancia! Bucciarati, hurry up and get him down from there! Don't just leave him like that! Do something, goddammit!
:'''Giorno''': (in Narancia's body) You need to settle down! Let me handle this!
:'''Bucciarati''': (in Diavolo's body) Please, stay focused and keep your gun at the ready! He'll attack again! We have to find him before he does, quick! Go, Sticky Fingers!
:'''Mista''': (in Trish's body) Heal him! Hold those damn bars out of there and get to work now! 
:'''Trish''': (in Mista's body; monologue) (The people outside the colosseum are waking up, so where is he? I can't sense him at all. It's like he's gone. What else could have happened? There's no way in hell he just went and vanished like that!)
:'''Bucciarati''': (in Diavolo's body) King Crimson's range is two or three meters at most. How then did he attack us from way over there?
:'''Mista''': (in Trish's body) Well, all right! You did it! Narancia's awake! Welcome back, you little bastard! How are you feeling? Geez, you really scared us.
:'''Giorno's spirit''': I'm sorry, Mista. There's no one left in here. It's empty. The physical wounds he suffered have healed, but still, Gold Experience couldn't get to him in time. He was... He was already gone. Narancia's... not here...
:'''Giorno''': (in Narancia's body) His form... he's just an empty vessel now. I can't find him. His soul has left. There's nothing here, try as I might, I can't bring him back. I wasn't fast enough. My soul could just slip right back in if it wanted, it could inhabit both bodies without a problem, not even one. He's that empty.
(Giorno's soul transfers back to his own body while Narancia falls unconscious, dying as his soul was already passed on.)
:'''Mista''': (in Trish's body) '''NARANCIA!!!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Giorno''': It was all so sudden... None of us could have guessed...
(Mista lets out a second cry)
:'''Giorno''': Stay put, okay? We’ll be right back. You’ll be safe here. I won’t let anyone hurt you again. I promise. And don’t you worry. When it’s over, we’ll bring you home.

=== King of Kings === 
:'''Bucciarati’s spirit''': (before departing to the afterlife) When I met you back home in Naples, when I betrayed the organization... My soul had been fated to slowly die, but it was reborn, thanks to you. This is what true happiness is. This is how it should be. Don't worry about it. Please give everyone my regards. 

:'''Giorno''': (to Diavolo) The only thing that will survive is the truth of this world. Righteous actions born of truth shall never be destroyed. My friends may have perished, but their actions and wills have not been destroyed. They handed this arrow to me. So, are your actions born of truth, or are they merely superficial, born of evil?

:'''Diavolo''': A little boy like you should learn to temper his bravado, lest he's punished! I'll even strip you of any chance to regret your actions, you brat! Go, King Crimson! (Time will now be obliterated for all but me! Excellent! I can see his stand's movements! His machinations have been laid underneath there! Talentless roaches! At least try to surprise me! Amazing how little it takes to totally neutralize your greatest power! Poor fools! I almost feel sorry for you! Never again will you witness the immaculate brilliance of King Crimson! The truth of my strength will forever be lost to you! At last, I've won! In the end, I'm still faster! You knew powers couldn't stop me from ripping out your heart! The future can only hold one of us and it has chosen me! '''NOW DISAPPEAR!!!!!!''') (As King Crimson tries to finish off Giorno, everything rewinds to prevent Diavolo's predicted victory) But how? Damn it, what now? How is he reversing the time I obliterated? That shouldn't be possible! No, stop! It's all reverting back to normal! But still, the premonition clearly shows me emerging the victor! '''SO PERISH, GIORNO GIOVANNA!!!!!!!''' What the---? (repeating loop of &quot;What the---?&quot;) (What is this? What the hell is happening to me? Perhaps this is an illusion. That cur somehow pulled one over my head... or did he? The only thing that can move within periods of warped time... should be me!)
:'''Gold Experience Requiem''': (after rewinding everything to prevent Diavolo’s victory in frozen time) The answer, is plain... truth. Your eyes are not deceiving you. What you see is very real. Playing out before you are the results of your actions. However, though you might be able to witness the truth. You can never hope to reach it. Your powers are immaterial. It doesn't matter who you are. No one could ever overcome this barrier. Behold, Gold Experience Requiem's true strength! Its nature remains as secret even to my user, Giorno Giovanna.
:'''Diavolo''': ...lest he's punished! I'll even strip you of any chance to regret your actions, you brat! (Wait, that--- Right before--- But I--- How dare you?! Only I may bend time! Oh, no, but premonitions always become reality! The future has already been written: King Crimson is bound for victory!)
:'''Gold Experience Requiem''': '''MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA
:'''MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!''' (10 seconds of MUDA)
:'''Diavolo''': '''GUAAAHH!'''
:'''Gold Experience Requiem''': You're going to stay right where you are. It's the price you must pay... the truth. You'll never come to experience its mercy!
:'''Diavolo/King Crimson''': '''I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!'''
:'''Gold Experience Requiem''': '''MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!'''
(GER spins to wind up a punch)
:'''Gold Experience Requiem''': '''MUDA!'''
(GER punches Diavolo into the air and poses)
:'''Diavolo''': '''UUUAAAHHHH!'''

=== Gold Experience Requiem === 

:'''Mista''': Guys, I’m totally serious! Just hear me out!
:'''Narancia''': (impatient) Aww, geez! For the last time Mista, no one gives a shit!
:'''Mista''': No, listen! This is a good one. I promise you. Gentlemen, let me ask you all, do you think human flesh would taste like crap or would it actually rock?
:'''Fugo''': Could you maybe not ruin our appetites?
:'''Narancia''': (furious) What the hell goes on in that messed up head of yours! That’s it!! Go sit at a dipshit table!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Mista''': Damn, our boy actually did it! You and that arrow kicked major ass! It still beats the hell out of me what Gold Experience whatchamacallit's actual powers are, but the point is, that bastard's dead now!
:'''Trish''': Hold it. Don't rejoice yet. I don't see his body anywhere.
:'''Mista''': Huh?
:'''Trish''': No! Damn! How the hell did he manage to get away?!
:'''Mista''': Oh, shit!
:'''Trish''': Don't just stand there, Giorno! Help us look! Which way did he go?! We have to find him quick! I can pick up traces of his aura! He's still lurking around! We can't rest until we find him!
:'''Giorno''': Trish, take a breath now. It's okay.
:'''Trish''': What?
:'''Giorno''': There's nothing to look for anymore. He won't ever be back. Even though I couldn't witness Requiem at work myself. Something deep in my soul tells me our job is done. Nothing will ever come within his putrid reach again, not even the truth of his ultimate fate will grace him. His own death will remain a mystery to him for all eternity. It's over.
:'''Trish''': But we didn't finish him!
:'''Giorno''': His end is without end. That is Gold Experience Requiem's judgment!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Diavolo''': Bungling amateurs...In the end, you failed to kill me. Unsurprising. But still...something troubles me: My premonition clearly showed that I would be one to prevail...so why? What twisted powers did Requiem give him? When I get my hands on you, you'll pay! But first things first, I must break free from this damn current! Heheheheheh. Excellent...my luck is turning...
(Diavolo gets pushed back as blood flows out of his torso)
:'''Drugged killer''': Nice try, cazzone! D-Don't you... s-snatch my coat! I'll cut you I swear! Just try me, I'll serve you like a deli slice! Hehehehehe! What's wrong? You curious? I think you think I won't do it? Think again, bitch! Hehe, hahahahahahah! I'll show you, dumbass! Hehehehe! I'll poke ya full of holes, ya weird strawberry with legs!
:'''Diavolo''': (sees his hand covered in blood and gets knocked back, lying on the ground in pain) W-what...did you!?
:'''Drugged killer''': Come on!!
:'''Diavolo''': This can't... (coughs up blood) What is this...?
:'''Drugged killer''': It's my coat, ya bitch!
:'''Diavolo''': I-I cant...I can't move! (coughs up more blood) Why the hell can't I move...? (coughs up more blood) Please help, somebody!
:'''Drugged killer''': It's my coat... You ain't never gonna get it...
:'''Diavolo''': (after being fatally stabbed by a drug addict as the start of his endless loop of dying) This can't be how I die...I-I-I-I'm Diavolo! A common hoodlum couldn't possibly be my undoing! That doesn’t make any sense! (Notices the drug addict about to kill him) '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!'''''

:'''Diavolo''': (found himself inside the hospital after his first death) Where am I? Hold on... how did I get on this table? Just a moment ago, I barely managed to escape the river...
:'''Doctor''': Let's see... procedural date is the 25th. Time 11:20 a.m. File Number 68. Acting Physician, Dr. Monica Ultello here. The deceased looks to be an adult male, 30-40 years old. Identity is unknown. Condition of his skin suggests time of death was 48 to 50 hours ago. Commencing autopsy to find out cause of death.
:'''Diavolo''': Enough of this! I won't play your sick game!
:'''Monica''': The body was discovered in close proximity to the river... (Diavolo: Are you deaf, woman? I demand you explain yourself now! HEY, LADY!)
(Dr. Monica Ultello grabs a scalpel)
:'''Diavolo''': Ugh! Not again... W-Why can't I move?... The hell did you do to me?! I'm talking to you, don't ignore me! Who do you think you are? Put that thing away!
(Dr. Monica Ultello dissects his chest)
:'''Diavolo''': '''GAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!''' Dammit... why am I just letting this happen? The pain... IT'S UNBEARABLE! Somebody help!
:'''Monica''': Cause of death is a laceration to the liver, likely caused by a knife. The lack of hesitation wounds means this was not suicide. I'll open up his abdomen and check, just to be sure.
(Dr. Monica Ultello pulls out Diavolo's liver)
:'''Monica''': His liver is in good health, the color's excellent.
(Dr. Monica Ultello grabs a bone cutter and starts dissecting Diavolo's abs)
:'''Diavolo''': &lt;big&gt;'''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;

:'''Diavolo''': (found himself outside the street) Thank God. Was it all just a horrible nightmare? No, this isn't where I was...
(The traffic light goes green as Diavolo watches the cars pass on the street)
:'''Diavolo''': Hold on, now. What time is it? Where am I? Last I recall, I'd been thrown into the Tiber... Then there was that terrible pain... I can still feel the cold steel... It was far too real to be a damnable dream! But... how am I still alive?
:'''Old man''': Excuse me. You okay there, sir? You really shouldn't sit there. If you need medical attention, I can call an ambulance.
(The old man's pet dog starts barking at Diavolo)
:'''Old man''': Back off, girl!
(Diavolo tries to get away from the dog, but trips at the edge of the sidewalk as an oncoming car arrives)
:'''Diavolo''': What is this madness? None of this makes sense! How could I meet such an undignified end? Don't tell me... this is...
(Diavolo lands on the tarmac as the car gets closer)
:'''Diavolo''': No! '''WHAT HAVE YOU WROUGHT ON ME, GOLD EXPERIENCE REQUIEM?!'''
(The car runs Diavolo over)

:'''Little girl''': You're sitting funny, mister. Does your tummy hurt?
:'''Diavolo''': (found by a curious girl after his most recent death) How...how many deaths must I die!? What'll happen to me next?! How much longer do I have to wait for the end?! (Notices the girl approaching him) Stay back! Leave me be! Don't come closer... &lt;big&gt;'''''STAY AWAY!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;

=== The Sleeping Slave ===
:'''Scolippi''': Michelangelo, who shines upon the apex of History, once said &quot;When I sculpt marble, I have no idea in my mind. The form of the stone shall be sculpted into has already been set. All my hands do is bring that form out from within the stone.&quot; Michelangelo said that he did not think about the ultimate form of the stone as he sculpted. Fate had already embedded it within the stone. He was an artist who could see Fate as he sculpted. That form of Bucciarati was not sculpted by me, and it was not sculpted by your bullets either. That is its fated form... that statue was bleeding from a hole in its chest, wasn't it? I don't know whether it will take a few days or a few months... but that is how Bucciarati will die in the near future. We are all slaves of Fate. That is the meaning of my ability, Rolling Stones.

:'''Scolippi''': (about the fate awaiting Bucciarati’s group) Perhaps their perils will serve some great purpose and bring hope to someone. I cannot pray for their safety, but I will pray that they are sleeping slaves...Sleeping slaves who will find meaning once they awaken.

==Part VI, [[w:Stone Ocean|Stone Ocean]]==

=== Stone Ocean ===
:'''Jolyne''': (When Romeo asks for her alcohol while driving) ‘No’ means ‘No’, so no.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ermes''': (After hearing Jolyne’s embracing story and seeing her deduction skills) You’re one interesting chica. So, what are you in for?
:'''Jolyne''': I’m innocent…

=== Stone Free ===
:'''Gwess''': (After getting Jolyne to put on a hollowed-out rat):Even though I said you can't speak, you can still say cute things. Like &quot;I wanna walk&quot;, &quot;I'm hungry&quot;, and &quot;Good night&quot;. Got it?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jolyne''': (After her Stand punches Gwess) Good freaking grief Gwess, shut up and listen. You said everything has a name, didn’t you? Then I’ll give mine a name too. It’ll be Stone Free. cuz somehow, I’m gonna free myself from this sea of stone. Did you hear me? STONE FREE! That what I’ll call it! (Stone Free proceeds to pummel Gwess) ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA!

=== The Visitor ===
:'''Johngalli''': Meteorologists say the wind's movements are unpredictable. They have a point, but it’s not impossible.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jotaro Kujo''': I've always... cherished you.

=== Ermes’s Stickers ===
:'''Thunder McQueen''': I feel like dying. (hangs himself)
:'''Ermes''': What the Hell!?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ermes''': Whenever someone says &quot;This Monday was a bad day,&quot; they'll say to themselves that &quot;Saturday will be better.&quot; That's how we continue to live! No one lives a life of only Mondays!
:'''Thunder McQueen''': I was arrested on a Saturday.
:'''Ermes''': ...

=== Debt Collector Mary Lynn Manson === 
:''[Foo Fighters, Ermes, and Jolyne are playing catch.]''
:'''F.F.''': I'm gonna throw it!
:'''Jolyne''': You've never actually thrown a ball before, have you?
:'''Ermes''': HAH! Easy to tell, too! You probably only know what a ball is from that chica’s memories!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Miraschon''': My name is Miraschon, prisoner number FE26789. You're at 87 throws, right? Your little game of catch, I'm willing to bet that it won't last 100 throws..
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Hermes loses the bet against Miraschon.]''
:'''Mary Lyn Manson''': (after ripping out Ermes concealed dollars and then her liver) If you sell this liver to the black market, it will cover the rest of your debt... 590 dollars! This is what you, Ermes, have just contemplated. I found out where to find the money you owe me from your thought, so that I can obtain it. (Notices Jolyne and F.F about to attack) Ermes here has just broken the rules that you established, and therefore has lost the bet. No one can attack me... Ermes has acknowledged in her heart that she is in debt. I am just here to collect that debt. This is my ability.

===	Operation Savage Guardian ===
:'''Jolyne''': (affected by Land Ranger’s Stand) I... I don't know why this happened so suddenly, but, uh, You know it could happen to anyone! Even the pope probably doesn't have control over this! 
:'''Weather Report''': What are you talking about? 
:'''Jolyne''':: You know, There's that thing, &quot;number 1&quot; and &quot;number 2&quot;, has to do with bowel movements, the one that starts with a p!! I might do it in my pants! I'm really glad it's not &quot;number 2&quot;, but it's still a natural urge! It must have something to do with zero-gravity. If we don't solve this, it's gonna be bad, in a different sense!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Lang Ranger ''': (to Jolyne while destroying her cloud suit) I'm gonna carve an epitaph on the flesh of your corpse, with shards of glass reeking of piss!

=== Torrential Downpour Warning ===
:'''Pucci:''': (calming himself down while keeping poison dar frogs fro touching his skin) 23, 28... no, it was 29... 29, 31, 37. Shit! There are frogs on my 800 dollar pants!

=== Burn, Dragon's Dream ===
:'''Jolyne Kujo''': (to Kenzo while making gestures at him) American style. French style. Japanese style. Italian. Specifically Naples style. The world's fingers for “screw you”.

=== Bohemian Rhapsody === 
:'''Anasui''': Look at this, Weather. What a crappy guidebook! None of the characters are on it! I want to see Disney characters goddammit! Where the f*ck is [[Mickey Mouse|Mickey]]?

=== Heavy Weather ===

:''[While Jolyne and Ermes are attempting to escape the snail-infested hospital.]''
:'''Jolyne''': An organism that can have sex with anything it encounters... I'm kinda jealous. I mean... No, no! It's just gross!&lt;ref name=&quot;ch724&quot;&gt;Vol. 78 Ch.724: ''Heavy Weather &lt;small&gt;Part 6&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Weather Report''': I see... Guess it could be useful for fixing joint and back pains... becoming a snail, that is. But if you don't want it to happen to you, Anasui... You shouldn't touch those snails... or the rainbows, either.
:'''Anasui''': Is this your fault, Weather?! '''What the fuck are you doing?!'''&lt;ref name=&quot;ch727&quot;&gt;Vol. 78 Ch.727: ''Heavy Weather &lt;small&gt;Part 9&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Pucci begins to emerge from under a large pile of snails.]''
:'''Pucci''': I already know all about it. This phenomenon, turning anything, man or beast, into snails... As long as I know the reason for it...
:'''Anasui''': Huh?
:'''Pucci''': ''I have nothing to fear!!''
:''[Pucci stands up, his Stand, Whitesnake, emerging with him.]''
:'''Pucci''': When I took your memory from you, back in 1988... I managed to find out the way I can overcome this phenomenon!
:'''Weather Report''': B... Bastard!
:'''Anasui''': N...No way...! He was hiding under that mass of snails! &lt;big&gt;'''You! Pucci!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Anasui moves to attack Pucci, who holds his hand up with the sun shining behind him. The snails begin to move, launching themselves off of the car towards Anasui.]''
:'''Anasui''': (What?! The snails... From the car window?!)
:''[Anasui uses his Stand, Diver Down, to try and deflect the onslaught of snails.]''
:'''Pucci''': So, you touched it. Then, it's all over for you. You should have stayed out of my business... And away from Jolyne Cujoh. You could have peacefully waited for your sentence to end... Well, I suppose I could leave you... All of you will eventually die as snails, anyway. Besides me and Weather, of course...&lt;ref name=&quot;ch727&quot;/&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pucci''': Subliminal effects are all in the mind. But, humans can age faster just by willing themselves to do so... And give themselves ulcers just by being stressed. Once the heart is impacted by this effect, it doesn't matter how hard one struggles to block it out of his mind. You would understand... You're a Stand user, after all. If I were to start filming what's going on right now... The people of this town would only see themselves as snails, rolling in the filth that they created, thinking that ''that'' is the truth. This phenomenon will continue as long as Weather is alive... and besides, Weather, you would have eventually noticed that I had taken my own ability to see. That's why I took the time to explain this ability to you.&lt;ref name=&quot;ch729&quot;&gt;Vol. 78 Ch.729: ''Heavy Weather &lt;small&gt;Part 11&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Anasui''': Listen, Jolyne. People have called me a murderer. The papers called me that, and I can't say I disagree with them. When people asked me if I would sacrifice myself for the sake of my family, I answered 'no'. I'd probably answer that way, even now. My heart was never moved by them. But I know that I'd be willing to risk my life for something that was able to revive me. I used to be dead. Weather was that way, too. Weather came back to life when he left that prison. I can tell. So don't think too deeply about what happened to him. These past few days, Weather was happy. '''Weather was already saved.'''&lt;ref name=&quot;ch731&quot;&gt;Vol.79 Ch.731: ''Heavy Weather &lt;small&gt;Part 13&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/ref&gt;

=== C-Moon ===

:'''Pucci''': Our Lord Jesus Christ was fated to be put on the cross. Our holy mother Mary was fated to lose her son. In order for humans to attain 'happiness', they have to overcome 'destiny'... And for Dio and I, the thing we must overcome is the Joestar bloodline!&lt;ref name=&quot;ch737&quot;&gt;Vol. 79 Ch. 737: ''C-Moon &lt;small&gt;Part 3&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Jotaro''': Did he '''dodge''' the spear...?! But how..?
:'''Jolyne''': He's not just trying to get away... It can't be... Did he find out something that we shouldn't have let him know find out...?! The way to complete his ability...
:'''Pucci''': You were the ones who have been '''pushing''' me. Ever since you were in prison, you have been '''aiding''' me. Our Father, who art in Heaven, guide me... Watch over me. so I may not walk the wrong path... I will give myself to your will. '''I can feel it!'''
:''[A shining light begins to emanate from Pucci and his Stand.]''
:'''Pucci''': I can sense the '''position'''! When Jotaro threw the spear, I felt it... his actions directed me the right way! The ones who were pushing me to 'Heaven' were the Joestars!&lt;ref name=&quot;ch742&quot;&gt;Vol. 80 Ch. 742 ''C-Moon &lt;small&gt;Part 8&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

=== Made In Heaven ===

:''[While fleeing from Pucci.]''
:'''Anasui''': Over here, Mr. Jotaro. Get up on the roof... Also... I'm determined to protect your daughter, with my life. We're already involved in something we can't back out of... But I'm going to make sure that we come out of this alive... So please, give me permission to marry your daughter.&lt;ref name=&quot;ch744&quot;&gt;Vol. 80 Ch.744: ''Made In Heaven &lt;small&gt;Part 2&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;
:''[Anasui and Jotaro now perch on the roof of one of the Kennedy Space Center's buildings. Emporio, Hermes, and Jolyne are behind them, facing away from the duo.]''
:'''Jotaro''': You... what did you just say?
:'''Anasui''': What I mean, Mr. Jotaro, is that... I want your permission, here and now. To marry your daughter...
:'''Jotaro''': You...
:'''Anasui''': I know this isn't the time, but... All you have to do is give me permission. If you say 'yes'... those words could save me. I... You know, I didn't expect to just immediately be able to marry Jolyne... It's true that I'm a murderer, I don't deny it, and I also know.. that Jolyne won't fall in love with me just like that. But... Jolyne's strong will and pure heart, that she inherited from you, her father, is the light that shines on the darkness of my heart, which could collapse at any moment!
:''[Anasui brings his face close to Jotaro's.]''
:'''Anasui''': She's what I need, right now...! You don't have to say much... just that you'll let me. I want you to let me reveal my heart! I need you to let me marry her once we get out of here alive!
:'''Jotaro''': I don't understand what you're talking about. Are you insane? Babbling, in this situation...
:'''Anasui''': ............&lt;ref name=&quot;ch745&quot;&gt;Vol. 80 Ch.745: ''Made In Heaven &lt;small&gt;Part 3&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:'''Pucci''': In the name of God, I will destroy you! Your actions, Emporio... You're just... Making it so your screams become the trumpets of Hell! Even if you insert Weather's Stand disc, Weather's ability is his own talent!
:''[The clock on the wall begins to speed up, ticking so fast that the arrows begin to blur. The flowers next to it rapidly wilt, the dried and decaying petals falling onto Emporio's mortified face.]''
:'''Pucci''': And! I've '''accelerated time''' again! In front of my honorable ambitions...
:''[''Made In Heaven'' begins to attack Emporio with a flurry of punches.]''
:'''Pucci''': '''Realize your insignificance as you crumble away!'''&lt;ref name=&quot;ch752&quot;&gt;Vol. 80 Ch.752: ''What a Wonderful World''&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[In the remade universe, after a woman and man resembling Jolyne and Anasui come across a stranded Emporio, who remains from the original universe.]''
:'''Irene''': What's your name? Come on, get in! I'm not going to take your money. You're trembling, are you cold?
:''[Emporio notices the birthmark on Irene's shoulder, and realizes that she's this universe's version of Jolyne.]''
:'''Irene''': Here.
:''[Irene wraps her sweater around Emporio's shoulders. Emporio tears up, and begins to cry.]''
:'''Emporio''': I'm Emporio...
:'''Irene''': Hm?
:'''Emporio''': Emporio. My name... '''my name is Emporio'''.&lt;ref name=&quot;ch752&quot;/&gt;

==Part VII, [[w:Steel Ball Run|Steel Ball Run]]==

=== Interim ===

:'''Mountain Tim''': What's this fury I'm feeling all of a sudden? So such a thing was present during the race... Don't worry, feel at ease... I can't possibly win the race now. In this race, I have many friends who are also participating. But up until now, I've never seen anything like this before... such a killing method! However, I have heard a legend about similar deaths... There's an old Indian legend that tells about a spot where a shooting star fell somewhere in the Arizona desert. There lies tainted soil. It is said that anything that touches the spot, will suddenly be able to pull out a '''''mysterious power''''' from its own. At the same time, though, evil spirits will call out a curse upon them. None of the natives of the land will dare step foot there. One day, a white man looking for emerald ore stepped into the spot and started to walk home. It is said that afterwards, he began to kill others in a similar fashion. And afterwards, as if possibly realizing his own sinfulness, he shot himself.&lt;ref name=&quot;ch765&quot;&gt;Vol. 83 Ch.765: ''The Sheriff's Request to Mountain Tim''&lt;/ref&gt;

=== Tusk ===

:'''Gyro''': Have you ever seen an '''opera''' show? An '''opera'''...
:'''Johnny''': Opera? Those '''music''' plays? Where they start singing out situations when they could just say their lines? ...Nope, never seen one. Why do you ask?
:'''Gyro''': Just a simple question.
:''[Gyro holds up his pair of binoculars.]''
:'''Gyro''': They call these '''opera glasses''' because you use them for watching an opera. But the people singing on stage have huge bodies that weigh like 120 or 150 kilograms or more.
:'''Johnny''': Yeah... that's why they can sing like that I guess.
:'''Gyro''': But why look at them with opera glasses? You don't need to, '''cause they're already so big'''.
:''[Johnny grins, and soon Gyro follows suit. Gyro holds up the binoculars, looking out over the desert through them.]''
:'''Gyro''': Maybe you're supposed to zoom into the buttons on their fancy clothes, and watch them as they're about to fly off...?
:'''Johnny''': Now that you mention it... but dude! Since they all have the same body type, maybe you can't tell the difference unless you zoom in?!
:'''Gyro''': ''Nyohohahohahaha!! Not bad, Johnny!!''&lt;ref name=&quot;ch777&quot;&gt;Vol. 85 Ch.777: ''Tusk &lt;small&gt;Part 1&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

=== Scary Monsters ===

:'''Diego''': There's a small villiage up ahead... let's stay there. Camping out is a bad idea. There are beasts out in this area. The other day after sundown, I got surrounded by beasts. A few cougars and a few rattlesnakes. The cougars and snakes were on two sides of the road, blocking my way out. I was thinking of how to escape... but then, for some reason, I was able to pass through on one side of the road. I was able to get by one of the two groups easily. Which side do you think it was? The cougars? Or the snakes?
:'''Gyro and Johnny''': ........
:'''Diego''': The answer is the rattle snakes! Because they were... '''''assssssssssleep'''''... and '''''sssssssssnoring''''' on the road!
:'''Gyro:''' Huh?
:'''Johnny''': ...........................
:'''Diego''': Hey, come on, it's a joke! Only a joke! What did you think? Then maybe they woke up and started ssssssssssslapping each other.... in their facessssssss! Get it?
:'''Johnny''': .....&lt;ref name=&quot;ch780&quot;&gt;Vol. 86 Ch.780: ''Scary Monsters &lt;small&gt;Part 1&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[While Johnny and Gyro are first being attacked by Diego in dinosaur form.]''
:'''Gyro''': '''He's getting up! My steel balls won't hit him! We gotta run! ''Hurry and get outside, Johnny!'''''
:''[Gyro slams the door shut, but Diego's claws fit through the space between the door and the wall. Gyro and Johnny slam it back shut.]''
:'''Johnny''': What is this!? This '''Stand ability!!''' What kind of ability is it?
:'''Gyro''': It's a dinosaur, Johnny! It looks like Dio's body has fused with a '''dinosaur's''' ability!
:'''Johnny''': '''Dino-sore?''' What's a dinosore?
:'''Gyro''': You don't know?&lt;ref name=&quot;ch781&quot;&gt;Vol. 86 Ch.781: ''Scary Monsters &lt;small&gt;Part 2&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After absorbing one of the Corpse's eyes, a half-transformed Diego looks back at Johnny and Gyro. A mechanical-looking figure that slightly resembles one of Gyro's steel balls can be seen in the distance for a few panels.]''
:'''Johnny''': What's going on!? What does that mean!? Dio's dinosaur transformation hasn't gone away! Dio was under the control of '''Ferdinand'''!! We have to chase him or he'll take away that eye!
:'''Gyro''': Stop, Johnny... It's over now, calm down. We can't chase him here. Dio got us at the very end... or maybe we should say he got the '''eye''' and its power brought back the dinosaur transformation that had disappeared as his '''talent'''. '''Half''' to my '''steel ball'''... '''half''' to Dio's '''Stand ability''' is what it seems.
:'''Johnny''': The ability of the '''dinosaur'''... Dio Brando may not have been a terrorist... but if he has one of the eyes, he'll want the other! At this point he's found out about the '''Corpse'''...... I can't believe he took '''half'''... He doesn't just desire victory! He longs for '''authority''' and '''eliteness'''!&lt;ref name=&quot;ch783&quot;&gt;Vol. 87 Ch.783: ''Scary Monsters &lt;small&gt;Part 4&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After a suspenseful battle of Johnny, Gyro, and Diego racing neck to neck, Johnny crosses the goal line first, followed by Diego and then Gyro.]''
:'''Announcer''': At this point, the '''4th stage''' has already begun! Johnny Joestar is the one who conquered the deadheat battle just now, but an hour ago, '''Hot Pants''' had already passed through the finish line to take 1st place!
:''[The stage's scoreboard is shown, with Hot Pants' name at the time. Hot Pants had indeed finished an hour before the others, placing Hot Pants in first.]''
:'''Gyro''': What the...?&lt;ref name=&quot;ch784&quot;&gt;Vol. 87 Ch.784: ''Third Stage: Cannon City''&lt;/ref&gt;

=== A Man's World ===

:'''Hot Pants''': I've lost nearly an hour here. No matter which path I take, I come back to this spot! The ''plums'' grown here in this orchard contain a lot of iron... That could be the reason why my compass doesn't seem to be pointing in the right direction.
:'''Johnny''': Hot Pants, don't come any closer! We're thinking that you could be tricking us!!
:'''Hot Pants''': This is the fourth time I've come back here. Look at my tracks!! They pass through four times, don't they? Why...? I'm the one who wants to know.
:'''Gyro''': So what's that to us!? Get lost already!! We're never ever gonna trust you anyways, got that!?
:'''Hot Pants''': '''Then I'll be the one to trust in you.''' You two aren't bad people. If you were, I'd have already killed you... how's that?&lt;ref name=&quot;ch785&quot;&gt;Vol. 87 Ch. 785: ''A Man's World &lt;small&gt;Part 1&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gyro''': Tell him to go eat shit, Johnny.
:'''Johnny''': Tell him yourself.
:'''Gyro''': &lt;big&gt;'''EAT SHIT, ASSHOLE!'''&lt;/big&gt; FALL OFF YOUR HORSE!
:'''Hot Pants''': Aren't we looking for the same path?&lt;ref name=&quot;ch785&quot;/&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
&quot;Welcome... to the true man's world.&quot;

- Ringo Roadagain, shortly before his death.

=== Both Sides Now ===

:'''Funny Valentine''': If the first one takes the napkin to their right, then there's no choice but for the others to also take the right napkin. The same goes for the left. Everyone else will have to take the napkin to their left, because they have no other option. This is society. Who are the ones who determine the price of land first? There must have been someone who determined the value of money, first. The size of the rails on a train track? The magnitude of electricity? Laws and regulations? Who was the first to determine those things? Did we all do it, because this is a republic? Or was it arbitrary? NO! The one who took the napkin first determined all of these things!

=== Break My Heart, Break Your Heart ===

:'''Funny Valentine''': My heart and actions are utterly unclouded! They are all those of '''justice'''.

==Part VIII, [[w:Jojolion|JoJolion]]==
=== Their Family Tree ===
:''[During the fight between Josuke and Daiya Higashikata. Josuke had hidden Daiya's phone in the refrigerator before telling her about it.]''
:'''Daiya''': ...That's it. You've really done it now... You got Yasuho involved in this... the one thing you shouldn't have done...
:''[Daiya raises up two chess pieces containing Josuke's memories, prepared to smash them.]''
:'''Daiya''': '''''DISAPPEAR!'''''
:'''Josuke''': No, wait. You're stepping.
:''[Daiya pauses.]''
:'''Josuke''': My '''shadow'''... you're stepping on my '''shadow''', aren't you? The refrigerator's been open for a while now...&lt;ref name=&quot;ch857&quot;&gt;Vol. 107 Ch. 857: ''California King Bed &lt;small&gt;Part 3&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

== [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure#Spin-offs|Spin-offs]] ==
=== Rohan at the Louvre ===

''[At the end of the manga, Rohan is reminiscing about earlier events in the chapter.]''
:'''Rohan''': ''Why did she rip up my drawings that day? Who knows what would have happened if, ten years earlier, she hadn't destroyed my drawings. Nizaemon's rancor would have certainly killed me! I'd have ended up cut into pieces in the depths of the Louvre, succumbing to the memory of desire once felt for her. '''A desire impossible to forget, like every first love.'''&lt;ref name=&quot;Louvre&quot;&gt;Rohan at the Louvre&lt;/ref&gt;

== [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle|All Star Battle]] ==
''[Note: Most dialogue from All Star Battle is taken from the manga; the dialogue contained in this section is only what's exclusive to the game.]''

=== Story Mode ===

''[After Josuke defeats Akira Otoishi.]''
:'''Josuke''': I told you to rethink your stupid ideas, but your ideas aren't really the problem. You're just an idiot.&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Local&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Okuyasu''': Josuke Higashikata, you better get ready to talk to the HAND!&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Local&quot;/&gt;

=== Battle Dialogue ===
:'''Jotaro''': Star Platinum! I'll smash you in! You pissed me off.
:'''DIO''': The World! Stop, time! Time to finish this! It's a steamroller! I'll smash you flat!
:'''Jolyne''': How deep can I hit? ''Balls deep!''&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Local&quot;/&gt;

=== Victory Quotes and Taunts ===

:'''Ermes''': Your foe is right here!&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Local&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Joseph''': Damn meased to pleet ya!&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Local&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Okuyasu''': I'll take anything you got! Unless it's the clap.&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Local&quot;&gt;All Star Battle English Localization&lt;/ref&gt;

=== Special Dialogue ===

''[Caesar Zeppeli vs. William Zeppeli.]''
:'''Caesar''': To pretend to have the Zeppeli name… I won’t forgive you!
:'''Zeppeli (victory)''': I feel like I practiced with a son or a close friend...&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Translation m&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''[[w:Dio Brando|DIO]] vs. Jonathan''': A chance meeting that transcends time I suppose…. JOJOOOO…!&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Translation m&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Dio Brando vs. Jonathan''': The sun has set...and with it, your life!&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Translation m&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

''[Dio Brando vs. DIO.]''
:'''DIO''': I suppose it could be interesting to test my stand on my past self…
:'''Dio Brando''': A 'Stand' you say... Interesting... let's test it out!
:'''Dio Brando (victory)''': Stand, huh… I was a little surprised but after actually fighting it, it’s no problem at all!
:'''DIO (victory)''': Vampiric Freeze... a nostalgic move...&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Translation m&quot;/&gt; 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

''[Joseph vs. Kars]''
:'''Joseph''': I've never, Kars! Never have I hated someone from the bottom of my heart!
:'''Kars''': You scum... Don't be so enraged...&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Translation m&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Joseph, vs. Lisa Lisa (victory)''': [[The_Room_(film)#Johnny|Why did it have to come to this? You're tearing me APART, Lisa Lisa!]]&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Local&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
''[Joseph vs. Wamuu]''
:'''Joseph''': Here, over here! I don't want you to not notice me standing riiight here~
:'''Wamuu''': Stop. A human's life is short anyways. Don't rush to your death.&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Translation m&quot;&gt;{{cite web|title=All Star Battle Special Dialogue Translations|url=http://mayoday.tumblr.com/post/61198706906/all-jojo-asb-character-face-off-winning-lines|website=Tumblr|accessdate=5 January 2016}}&lt;/ref&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

''[Kakyoin mirror match.]''
:'''Kakyoin (1)''': My name is Noriaki Kakyoin.
:'''Kakyoin (2)''': No need to say it twice.&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Local&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

''[Various characters' reactions to Josuke Higashikata's hairstyle.]''
:'''Jonathan''': If only I could hit that strange hair with my Hamon.
:'''Will A. Zeppeli''': Such eerie hair. What might be hiding away in it?!
:'''Dio Brando''': What vulgar hair.
:'''Joseph''': HUH? What's that big thing on your head?
:'''Caesar''': Stop walking around with such huge clown hair!
:'''Lisa Lisa''': That hairstyle is the worst...
:'''Wamuu''': What disgusting hair.
:'''Esidisi''': I'll burn that stupid hair up!
:'''Kars''': A hairstyle fit for a peasant.
:'''Jotaro''': We can talk about your stupid hair later.
:'''Old Joseph''': What's up with all that awful-looking hair?! Your parents will be sad!
:'''Kakyoin''': My hair is more refined than yours.
:'''Polnareff''': I'll cut your hair into something more proper.
:'''Avdol''': That stupid hair of yours will surely burn well.
:'''Hol Horse''': I can lend you a hat if you wanna cover that disaster up!
:'''DIO''': Your hair's like a pile of cow dung by the side of the road.
:'''Josuke''': Your hair's not that GREAT.
:'''Okuyasu''': Isn't your hairstyle kinda out of fashion?
:'''Koichi''': I think Josuke's hairstyle is a bit out of fashion...
:'''Giorno''': My hair is more elegant than yours.
:'''Bruno''': What a dreary hairstyle.
:'''Narancia''': That hair’s awful! I can’t go along with it!
:'''Diavolo''': What vulgar hair.
:'''Jolyne''': I've seen drag queens with better hair!
:'''Ermes''': You pompadour-styled pig!
:'''Johnny''' (sarcastic): That hairstyle's good. Really great. Super cool.
:'''Gyro''': What a strange head. Makes me wanna stomp all over it!
:'''Funny Valentine''': The first thing I'm going to do in office is outlaw that ridiculous hairstyle!&lt;ref name=&quot;ASB Local&quot;/&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

''[Various characters' reactions to Joseph Joestar’s counter-taunt.]''
:'''Joseph''': (to Jonathan) Next you’ll say: “Wh-What was that for?! How dare you!”
:'''Jonathan''': Wh-what was that for?! How dare you! (gasps)

:'''Joseph (1)''': (to himself) Next you’ll say: “I’m going to wipe that smirk right off your face!”
:'''Joseph (2)''': I’m going to wipe that smirk right off your face! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Jotaro) Next you’ll say: “I will judge you myself!”
:'''Jotaro''': I will judge you myself! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Josuke 4) Next you'll say: &quot;If you don't move, I'm going to seriously distort your face...&quot;
:'''Josuke (Part 4)''': If you don't move, I'm going to seriously distort your face... (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Giorno) Next you'll say: &quot;My resolve will open the way!&quot;
:'''Giorno''': My resolve will open the way! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Jolyne) Next you'll say: &quot;Good grief...&quot;
:'''Jolyne''': Good grief... (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Johnny) Next you'll say: &quot;I don't feel like dismounting at all.&quot;
:'''Johnny''': I don't feel like dismounting at all. (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Will Zeppeli) Next you'll say: &quot;Hey, bambino!&quot;
:'''Will Zeppeli''': Hey, bambino! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Caesar) Next you'll say: &quot;It's a cold-hearted and merciless Caesar that's going to take you down!&quot;
:'''Joseph''': It's a cold-hearted and merciless Caesar that's going to take you down! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Old Joseph) Next you'll say: &quot;I, Joseph Joestar, will you have you know that I have much more fighting experience than you do.&quot;
:'''Old Joseph''': I, Joseph Joestar, will you have you know that I have much more fighting experience than you do. (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Kakyoin) Next you'll say: &quot;Now, it's time for your punishment, baby.&quot;
:'''Kakyoin''': Now, it's time for your punishment, baby. (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Okuyasu) Next you'll say: &quot;I'll put an end to ya!&quot;
:'''Joseph''': I'll put an end to ya! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Buccellati) Next you'll say: &quot;Just try it!&quot;
:'''Buccellati''': Just try it! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Ermes) Next you'll say: &quot;Your opponent is meeeee!&quot;
:'''Ermes''': Your opponent is meeeee! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Gyro) Next you'll say: &quot;Nyoho~&quot;
:'''Gyro''': Nyoho~ (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Dio) Next you'll say: &quot;I, Dio, will kill you!&quot;
:'''Dio''': I, Dio, will kill you! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Wamuu) Next you'll say: &quot;Wamuu!&quot;
:'''Wamuu''': Wamuu! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Lisa Lisa) Next you'll say: &quot;I'm in a bad mood right now.&quot;
:'''Lisa Lisa''': I'm in a bad mood right now. (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Polnareff) Next you'll say: &quot;I'll throw you into the depths of despair!&quot;
:'''Polnareff''': I'll throw you into the depths of despair! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Mista) Next you'll say: &quot;Uno, due! Die, cazzone! I expect an honest answer!&quot;
:'''Mista''': Uno, due! Die, cazzone! I expect an honest answer! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Pucci) Next you'll say: &quot;In the name of God, I will smite you!&quot;
:'''Pucci''': In the name of God, I will smite you! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Funny Valentine) Next you'll say: &quot;Dojyaaan~!&quot;
:'''Funny Valentine''': Dojyaaan~! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Kars) Next you'll say: &quot;Just wait! I'll kill you right now!&quot;
:'''Kars''': Just wait! I'll kill you right now! Huh?

:'''Joseph''': (to Avdol) Next you'll say: &quot;Tch, tch! Yes I am!, Tch, tch!&quot;
:'''Avdol''': Tch, tch! Yes I am!, Tch, tch! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Koichi) Next you'll say: &quot;You've made me go through such a thing! It's too late. That's why I'm telling you I hate you.&quot;
:'''Koichi''': You've made me go through such a thing! It's too late. That's why I'm telling you I hate you. Huh?

:'''Joseph''': (to Akira) Next you'll say: &quot;I'm warning you in advance that I'll be able to blow off your arm with just one pinky.&quot;
:'''Akira''': I'm warning you in advance that I'll be able to blow off your arm with just one pinky. Huh?

:'''Joseph''': (to Narancia) Next you'll say: &quot;Bastard! You better be ready!&quot;
:'''Narancia''': Bastard! You better be ready! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Josuke 8) Next you'll say: &quot;Don't underestimate me.&quot;
:'''Josuke (Part 8)''': Don't underestimate me. (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Kira) Next you'll say: &quot;I'm going to eliminate you.&quot;
:'''Kira''': I'm going to eliminate you. (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to DIO) Next you'll say: &quot;WRRRYYYYYYYYYY!&quot;
:'''DIO''': WRRRYYYYYYYYYY! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Hol Horse) Next you'll say: &quot;I couldn't help but laugh, heehee.&quot;
:'''Hol Horse''': I couldn't help but laugh, heehee. (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Rohan) Next you'll say: &quot;How stupid can you be?! Do you think that I, Rohan Kishibe, drop together money and admiration?!&quot;
:'''Rohan''': How stupid can you be?! Do you think that I, Rohan Kishibe, drop together money and admiration?! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Kosaku) Next you'll say: &quot;It took a while! Luck is finally on Yoshikage Kira's side!&quot;
:'''Kosaku''': It took a while! Luck is finally on Yoshikage Kira's side! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Diavolo) Next you'll say: &quot;Consequences! My time obliterating powers all action futile!&quot;
:'''Diavolo''': Consequences! My time obliterating powers all action futile! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Shigekiyo) Next you'll say: &quot;I can go on and on but you will never understand!&quot;
:'''Shigekiyo''': I can go on and on but you will never understand! Huh?!

:'''Joseph''': (to Esidisi) Next you'll say: &quot;Oh, you went pale. Did I hit the mark? Was I anywhere close to the bullseye?!&quot;
:'''Esidisi''': Oh, you went pale. Did I hit the mark? Was I anywhere close to the bullseye?! (gasps)

:'''Joseph''': (to Iggy) Next you'll say: &quot;(chewing sounds)&quot;
:'''Iggy''': (chewing sounds)
:'''Narrator''': Iggy groaned...

:'''Joseph''': (to Baoh) Next you'll say: &quot;Barubarubarubarubarubarubarubaru!&quot;
:'''Baoh''': Barubarubarubarubarubarubarubaru!
:'''Narrator''': Baoh is surprised...

== Catchphrases ==
=== Jonathan Joestar ===
:''DIOOOO!!!!''
:''How my heart resonates! I'm pulsing with heat and life! My very blood is a symphony within me! SUNLIGHT YELLOW OVERDRIVE!!''

=== Will A. Zeppeli ===
:''Hey Bambino!!' [''Hey Baby!!'' in the Japanese releases.]''
:''Signor Joestar''

=== [[w:Dio Brando|Dio Brando/DIO]] ===
:''It's USELESS! USELESS! USELESS! UUUSSSEELLLESSS!!!
:''[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/za-warudo-wryyyyy WRYYYYYY!]''
:Behold, THE WORLD!&quot;
:Once more, THE WORLD!&quot;
:THE WORLD! GRIND TO A HALT!
:''[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/za-warudo-wryyyyy ZA WARUDO]!''
::''[A romanization of DIO's [[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure#Supernatural Powers|Stand]] name, ''The World''.]''

=== Joseph Joestar ===
: Next you're gonna say...
:''[Joseph often predicts what others will say next, particularly during [[w:Battle Tendency|Battle Tendency]].]''
: Show me happy. Show me silly. Now how about you show those pearly whites? (''Happy'' urepii- yoropiku ne!)
: Run for your lives!!!!!! (Nigerundayo!!!)
:''OH MY GOD!'' / ''OH NO!!!'' / ''HOLY SHIT!!''
:''[These are spoken in English, even in the original Japanese releases.]''
:''OH NO!'' The two phrases I hate the most are &quot;hard work&quot; and &quot;work hard!&quot;

=== Jotaro Kujo (空条 承太郎, ''Kūjō Jōtarō'') ===
:ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!
: Give me a break.../Good Grief (''Yare yare daze...'')
: SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU'RE ANNOYING!
===Noriaki Kakyoin===
:&quot;lick lick lick lick lick lick&quot; / (&quot;Rero rero rero rero rero rero&quot;)
:&quot;No one can just deflect my Emerald Splash!&quot;
=== Mohammad Avdol ===
: You tried to out-predict me, a fortune teller? But it’s 10 years too early for you. (victory quote)
:''[[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure#Judgement_.5B2.21_-_2.22.5D|Yes, I am!!]]''

=== Josuke Higashikata (東方 仗助, ''Higashikata Jōsuke'') (Part IV) ===
:''DORARARARARARARA!!!''
: Let me punch this &quot;spaghetti&quot; and reduce it to its original parts!
: ''[This was during their meal at Tonio's, after Josuke began to suspect that something about the food Okuyasu is eating is off.]''
: ''Gureato desu yo, koitsu wa'' (loosely translates to &quot;Ain't this guy great?&quot;)
: Since you've gotten a clean bill of health from Crazy Diamond, when I pound your ass into the ground, I can avoid looking like a coward, right?!
: ''[This is popularly known as &quot;You're as good as new, for now. It's a fair fight now, isn't it?&quot; in Japanese.]''

=== Okuyasu Nijimura (虹村 億泰, ''Nijimura Okuyasu'') ===
:I feel you! I feel you deeply! Your feeling I can feel deeply.&lt;ref name=&quot;ch296&quot;&gt;Vol. 32 Ch.296: ''Yukako Yamagishi Is In Love &lt;small&gt;Part 3&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

=== Koichi Hirose (広瀬 康一, ''Hirose Kōichi'') ===
:You've made me go through such a thing! It's too late. That's why I'm telling you I hate you.

:Act Three, Three Freeze!

:Ok master, let's kill da hoe, BEEETCH!

=== Rohan Kishibe (岸辺 露伴, ''Kishibe Rohan'') ===
:[[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure#Highway Star|''Sorry, but I refuse!'']]
&quot;Oi oi oi oi oi&quot;

=== Yoshikage Kira (吉良 吉影, ''Kira Yoshikage'') ===
:What a Beautiful Duwang! Chew. There must be no other place as pretty as this town. This feels like a picnic.
:''[When Kira was having a 'picnic' with his 'girlfriend'; A (mis)translation of one of Kira's lines from the infamous &quot;Duwang&quot; fan translation.]''
&quot;I, Yoshikage Kira, Want nothing more than to live a peaceful, quiet life.&quot;

&quot;My Sheer Heart Attack has no weakness.&quot;

=== Giorno Giovanna ===
:''MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!''
&quot;I, Giorno Giovanna,  have a dream!&quot;
&quot;Wryyyyy&quot;

=== Bruno Buccellati ===
:''ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI!''
:''Arrivederci!''

=== Narancia Ghirga ===
:''VOLA VOLA VOLA VOLA VOLA VOLA!''
“Volare via!”

=== Diavolo ===
:''King Crimson!''

=== Jolyne Cujoh (空条 徐倫, ''Kūjō Jorīn'') ===
: Good Frick’n Grief (''Yare yare dawa...'')
: ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!

=== Weather Report ===
:The kind of evil that doesn't realize that it's evil... is the worst kind there is...&lt;ref name=&quot;ch730&quot;&gt;Vol.79 Ch.730: ''Heavy Weather &lt;small&gt;Part 12&lt;/small&gt;''&lt;/ref&gt;

=== Funny Valentine ===
: DOJYAAA~N!
:'[lit. 'Tada' in Japanese.]''

== Cast ==
:'''Jonathan Joestar'''
*[[w:Kazuyuki Okitsu|Kazuyuki Okitsu]] ([[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (season 1)|Anime]]/[[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle|All Star Battle]]/[[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven|Eyes of Heaven]])
*[[w:Kazuya Nakai|Kazuya Nakai]] ([[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood#Related media|Phantom Blood PS2 game]] (Young))
*[[w:Hideyuki Tanaka|Hideyuki Tanaka]] (Phantom Blood PS2 game)
*[[w:Katsuyuki Konishi|Katsuyuki Konishi]] (Phantom Blood movie)
*[[w:Jurota Kosugi|Jūrōta Kosugi]] ([[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (OVA)|Stardust Crusaders OVA]])
*[[w:Johnny Yong Bosch|Johnny Yong Bosch]] (Anime English dub)

:'''Dio Brando/DIO'''
*[[w:Kenji Nojima|Kenji Nojima]] (Phantom Blood movie (Young))
*[[w:Hikaru Midorikawa|Hikaru Midorikawa]] (Phantom Blood movie and PS2 game)
*[[w:Isshin Chiba|Isshin Chiba]] ([[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (video game)|Heritage For the Future]])
*[[w:Tanaka Nobuo|Tanaka Nobuo]] (Stardust Crusaders OVA)
*[[w:Norio Wakamoto|Norio Wakamoto]] (Drama CD)
*[[w:Takehito Koyasu|Takehito Koyasu]] (Anime/All Star Battle/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Andrew Chaikin|Andrew Chaikin]] (Stardust Crusaders OVA English dub)
*[[w:Marco Balzarotti|Marco Balzarotti]] (Stardust Crusaders OVA Italian dub)
*[[w:Patrick Seitz|Patrick Seitz]] (Anime English dub)

:'''Will A. Zeppeli'''
*[[w:Rikiya Koyama|Rikiya Koyama]] (Phantom Blood movie/PS2 game)
*[[w:Yoku Shioya|Yoku Shioya]] (Anime/All-Star Battle/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Joe Ochman|Joe Ochman]] (Anime English dub)

:'''Robert E.O. Speedwagon'''
*[[w:Masaya Onosaka|Masaya Onosaka]] (Phantom Blood PS2 Game)
*[[w:Yōji Ueda|Yōji Ueda]] (Anime/All-Star Battle/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Keith Silverstein|Keith Silverstein]] (Anime English dub)

:'''Joseph Joestar'''
*[[w:Tomokazu Sugita|Tomokazu Sugita]] (Anime (Young), All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven (Young))
*[[w:Unshō Ishizuka|Unshō Ishizuka]] (Anime (Old), Eyes of Heaven (Old), All-Star Battle R (Old))
*[[w:Chikao Ōtsuka|Chikao Ōtsuka]] (Stardust Crusaders OVA)
*[[w:Tōru Ōkawa|Tōru Ōkawa]] (Heritage for the Future (Old))
*[[w:Hōchū Ōtsuka|Hōchū Ōtsuka]] (Heritage for the Future (Young))
*[[w:Kenji Utsumi|Kenji Utsumi]] (Drama CD 1 &amp; 3)
*[[w:Gorō Naya|Gorō Naya]] (Drama CD 2)
*[[w:Ben Diskin|Ben Diskin]] (Anime English dub (Young))
*[[w:Richard Epcar|Richard Epcar]] (Anime English dub (Old))
*[[w:Michael Bennett|Michael Bennett]] (Stardust Crusaders OVA English dub)
*[[w:François Siener|François Siener]] (Stardust Crusaders OVA French dub)
*[[w:Enrico Bertorelli|Enrico Bertorelli]] (Stardust Crusaders OVA Italian dub)

:'''Caesar A. Zeppeli'''
*[[w:Takuya Sato|Takuya Satō]] (Anime/All Star Battle/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Bryce Papenbrook|Bryce Papenbrook]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Lisa Lisa'''
*[[w:Atsuko Tanaka|Atsuko Tanaka]] (Anime/All Star Battle/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Wendee Lee|Wendee Lee]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Rudol von Stroheim'''
*[[w:Atsushi Imaruoka|Atsushi Imaruoka]] (Anime/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Dan Woren|Dan Woren]] (Anime English Dub)
* Uve Techner (Anime German Dub)

:'''Esidisi'''
*[[w:Keiji Fujiwara|Keiji Fujiwara]] (Anime/All Star Battle/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Chris Jai Alex|Chris Jai Alex]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Wamuu'''
*[[w:Akio Ōtsuka|Akio Ōtsuka]] (Anime/All Star Battle/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Paul St. Peter|Paul St. Peter]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Kars'''
*[[w:Kazuhiko Inoue|Kazuhiko Inoue]] (Anime/All-Star Battle/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:John DeMita|John DeMita]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Jotaro Kujo'''
*[[w:Daisuke Ono|Daisuke Ono]] ([[w:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable|Anime]], Video Games)
*[[w:Matthew Mercer|Matt Mercer]] (English Anime Dub)
* Yusuke Iseya (Live Action Film)

:'''Noriaki Kakyoin'''
*[[w:Kōji Yusa|Koji Yusa]] (All Star Battle)
*[[w:Daisuke Hirakawa|Daisuke Hirakawa]] (Anime/Eyes of Heaven/All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Kyle Herbert|Kyle Herbert]] (English Anime Dub)

:'''Mohammed Avdol'''
*[[w:Masashi Ebara|Masashi Ebara]] (All-Star Battle)
*[[w:Kenta Miyake|Kenta Miyake]] (Anime/Eyes of Heaven/All-Star Battle R)
* Chris Tergliafera (English Anime Dub)

:'''Jean Pierre Polnareff'''
*[[w:Hiroaki Hirata|Hiroaki Hirata]] (All-Star Battle)
*[[w:Fuminori Komatsu|Fuminori Komatsu]] (Anime/Eyes of Heaven/All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Doug Erholtz|Doug Erholtz]] (English Anime Dub)

:'''Iggy'''
*[[w:Shigeru Chiba|Shigeru Chiba]] (All-Star Battle)
*[[w:Misato Fukuen|Misato Fukuen]] (Anime/Eyes of Heaven/All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Derek Stephen Prince|Derek Stephen Prince]] (English Anime Dub)

:'''Hol Horse'''
*[[w:Norio Wakamoto|Norio Wakamoto]] (OVA)
*[[w:Hōchū Ōtsuka|Hōchū Ōtsuka]] (All-Star Battle)
*[[w:Hidenobu Kiuchi|Hidenobu Kiuchi]] (Anime, Eyes of Heaven, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Imari Williams|Imari Williams]] (Stardust Crusaders OVA English Dub)
*[[w:Roger L. Jackson|Roger L. Jackson]] (English Dub)

:'''Mariah'''
*[[w:Ayahi Takagaki|Ayahi Takagaki]] (Anime, Eyes of Heaven, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Lauren Landa|Lauren Landa]] (Anime English Dub)
 
:'''Vanilla Ice'''
*[[w:Takeshi Aono|Takeshi Aono]] (OVA)
*[[w:Hiroyuki Yoshino|Hiroyuki Yoshino]] (All-Star Battle)
*[[w:Shō Hayami|Shō Hayami]] (Anime, Eyes of Heaven, All-Star Battle R)
* Jalen K. Cassell (English Dub) 

:'''Josuke Higashikata (東方 仗助, ''Higashikata Jōsuke'') (Part IV)'''
*[[w:Wataru Hatano|Wataru Hatano]] (All Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Yūki Ono|Yūki Ono]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
* Billy Kametz (Anime English Dub)
*[[w:Kento Yamazaki|Kento Yamazaki]] (Live-Action Film)

:'''Koichi Hirose (広瀬 康一, ''Hirose Kōichi'')'''
*[[w:Romi Park|Romi Park]] (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Yūki Kaji|Yūki Kaji]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
* Zach Aguilar (Anime English Dub)
*[[w:Ryunosuke Kamiki|Ryunosuke Kamiki]] (Live Action Film)

:'''Okuyasu Nijimura (虹村 億泰, ''Nijimura Okuyasu'')'''
*[[w:Wataru Takagi|Wataru Takagi]] (Anime)
*[[w:Mackenyu|Mackenyu]] (Live Action Film)
* Jalen K. Cassell (English Dub)

:'''Rohan Kishibe (岸辺 露伴, ''Kishibe Rohan'')'''
*[[w:Hiroshi Kamiya|Hiroshi Kamiya]] (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Takahiro Sakurai|Takahiro Sakurai]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Vic Mignogna|Vic Mignogna]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Yoshikage Kira (吉良 吉影, ''Kira Yoshikage'')'''
*[[w:Rikiya Koyama|Rikiya Koyama]] (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Toshiyuki Morikawa|Toshiyuki Morikawa]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:D.C. Douglas|D.C. Douglas]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Ryohei Higashikata'''
*[[w:Katsuhisa Hōki|Katsuhisa Hōki]] (Anime)
*[[w:Michael Sorich|Michael Sorich]] (Anime English Dub)
*[[w:Jun Kunimura|Jun Kunimura]] (Live Action Film)

:'''Anjuro &quot;Angelo&quot; Katagiri'''
*[[w:Kenji Hamada|Kenji Hamada]] (Anime)
*[[w:Lex Lang|Lex Lang]] (Anime English Dub)
*[[w:Takayuki Yamada|Takayuki Yamada]] (Live Action Film)

:'''Keicho Nijimura'''
*[[w:Tomoyuki Shimura|Tomoyuki Shimura]]
*[[w:Masaki Okada|Masaki Okada]] (Live Action Film)
*[[Jason Marnocha]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Akira Otoishi'''
*[[w:Showtaro Morikubo|Showtaro Morikubo]]
*Andrew Russell (Anime English Dub)

:'''Tamami Kobayashi'''
*Satoshi Tsuruoka

:'''Toshikazu Hazamada'''
*[[w:Hiroki Shimowada|Hiroki Shimowada]]

:'''Giorno Giovanna'''
*[[w:Romi Park|Romi Park]] ([[w:Le Bizzarre Avventure di GioGio: Vento Aureo|GioGio's Bizarre Adventure]])
*[[w:Daisuke Namikawa|Daisuke Namikawa]] (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Kenshō Ono|Kenshō Ono]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
*Phillip Reich (Anime English Dub)

:'''Bruno Buccellati'''
*[[w:Takahiro Sakurai|Takahiro Sakurai]] ([[w:Le Bizzarre Avventure di GioGio: Vento Aureo|GioGio's Bizarre Adventure]])
*[[w:Noriaki Sugiyama|Noriaki Sugiyama]] (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Yuichi Nakamura|Yuichi Nakamura]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Ray Chase|Ray Chase]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Guido Mista'''
*[[w:Kentaro Ito|Kentaro Ito]] ([[w:Le Bizzarre Avventure di GioGio: Vento Aureo|GioGio's Bizarre Adventure]])
*[[w:Kenji Akabane|Kenji Akabane]] (All Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Kōsuke Toriumi|Kōsuke Toriumi]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Sean Chiplock|Sean Chiplock]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Leone Abbacchio'''
*[[w:Tetsu Inada|Tetsu Inada]] ([[w:Le Bizzarre Avventure di GioGio: Vento Aureo|GioGio's Bizarre Adventure]])
*[[w:Junichi Suwabe|Junichi Suwabe]] (Anime)
*Mick Lauer (Anime English Dub)

:'''Narancia Ghirga'''
*[[w:Yuko Sanpei|Yuko Sanpei]] (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Daiki Yamashita|Daiki Yamashita]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Kyle McCarley|Kyle McCarley]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Pannacotta Fugo'''
*[[w:Hisafumi Oda|Hisafumi Oda]] (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Junya Enoki|Junya Enoki]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Ezra Weisz|Ezra Weisz]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Trish Una'''
*[[w:Nao Tōyama|Nao Toyama]] (Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Sayaka Senbongi|Sayaka Senbongi]] (Anime)
* Lizzie Freeman (Anime English Dub)

:'''Vinegar Doppio'''
*[[w:Mitsuru Miyamoto|Mitsuru Miyamoto]] ([[w:Le Bizzarre Avventure di GioGio: Vento Aureo|GioGio's Bizarre Adventure]])
*[[w:Akira Ishida|Akira Ishida]] (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Sōma Saitō|Sōma Saitō]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
* Griffin Burns (Anime English Dub)

:'''Diavolo'''
*[[w:Mitsuru Miyamoto|Mitsuru Miyamoto]] ([[w:Le Bizzarre Avventure di GioGio: Vento Aureo|GioGio's Bizarre Adventure]])
*[[w:Toshiyuki Morikawa|Toshiyuki Morikawa]] (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Katsuyuki Konishi|Katsuyuki Konishi]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Kellen Goff|Kellen Goff]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Jolyne Cujoh'''
*[[w:Miyuki Sawashiro|Miyuki Sawashiro]] (All-Star Battle/Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Fairouz Ai|Fairouz Ai]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
*[[w:Kira Buckland|Kira Buckland]] (Anime English Dub)

:'''Emporio Alniño'''
* Junko Kitanishi (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
* Atsumi Tanezaki (Anime)
* Casey Mongillo (Anime English Dub)

:'''Ermes Costello'''
* Chizu Yonemoto (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
* Mutsumi Tamura (All-Star Battle R)
* Tiana Camacho (Anime English Dub)

:'''Foo Fighters''':
* [[w:Ryoko Shiraishi|Ryoko Shiraishi]] (All Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
* [[w:Mariya Ise|Mariya Ise]] (Anime)
* Brittany Lauda (Anime English Dub)

:'''Weather Report'''
*[[w:Tōru Ōkawa|Tōru Ōkawa]] (All Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
* Yūichirō Umehara (Anime)
* Stephen Fu (Anime English Dub)

:'''Narciso Annasui'''
* Yuichi Nakamura (All-Star Battle, Eyes of Heaven)
* Daisuke Namikawa (Anime, All-Star Battle)

:'''Enrico Pucci'''
*[[w:Shō Hayami|Shō Hayami]] (All Star Battle)
*[[w:Jouji Nakata|Joji Nakata]] (Eyes of Heaven)
*[[w:Tomokazu Seki|Tomokazu Seki]] (Anime, All-Star Battle R)
* YongYea (Anime English Dub)

:'''Johnny Joestar'''
* Yūki Kaji

:'''Gyro Zeppeli'''
* [[w:Shin-ichiro Miki|Shin'ichiro Miki]]

:'''Funny Valentine'''
* [[w:Yasuyuki Kase|Yasuyuki Kase]]

:'''Diego Brando'''
* [[w:Takehito Koyasu|Takehito Koyasu]]

:'''Josuke Higashikata (VIII)'''
* [[w:Mitsuaki Madono|Mitsuaki Madono]]

:'''Joshuu Higashikata'''
* [[w:Hiroaki Miura|Hiroaki Miura]]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*[https://jojowiki.com/ JoJo Wiki]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2359704/ ''JoJo's Bizarre Adventure'' (2012-)] on [[w:Internet Movie Database|IMDB]]
*[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/subcultures/jojo-s-bizarre-adventure ''JoJo's Bizarre Adventure''] on [[w:Know Your Meme|Know Your Meme]]
*[http://www.araki-jojo.com/ ''Official website'']
*[http://www.viz.com/manga/print/jojos-bizarre-adventure-part-1-phantom-blood ''JoJo's Bizarre Adventure''] at [[w:Viz Media|Viz Media]]
*[https://cotoacademy.com/yare-yare-japanese-meaning/ Meaning of Yare Yare in Japanese] 

[[Category:Anime and manga series]]
[[Category:Animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>gw31fzr5chp86z8mp2tp7ejllotkx5z</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Shirley MacLaine</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>146690</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149146</id>
      <parentid>3028440</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:40:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1581" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Shirley MacLaine Deauville 2011.jpg|thumb|Shirley MacLaine in 2011]]

'''[[w:Shirley MacLaine|Shirley MacLean Beaty]]''' (born April 24, 1934), known professionally as '''Shirley MacLaine''', is an American film and theater actress, singer, dancer, activist and author.  Her brother is [[w:Warren Beatty|Warren Beatty]].
{{Actor-stub}}
==Quotes==
* The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=f6yc35pUhEwC&amp;q=%22The+more+I+traveled+the+more+I+realized+that+fear+makes+strangers+of+people+who+should+be+friends%22&amp;pg=PA160#v=onepage ''Don't Fall Off the Mountain''] (1970)
*[About [[George McGovern]]] He is a spiritually evolved political leader.
** Nina Easton, [https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-09-06-tm-6352-story.html ''Shirley MacLaine’s Mysticism for the Masses : She’s the Super Saleswoman for a Fast-Growing New Age Movement''], ''Los Angeles Times'' (September 6, 1987).

==External links==
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    <title>Jay Wright Forrester</title>
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      <text bytes="10376" xml:space="preserve">'''[[:w:Jay Wright Forrester|Jay Wright Forrester]]''' (July 14, 1918 – November 16, 2016) was a pioneer American [[computer engineer]], systems scientist and was a professor at the MIT Sloan School of Management. Forrester is known as the founder of System Dynamics, which deals with the simulation of interactions between objects in dynamic systems.

== Quotes ==
* [[Eduard Pestel|Pestel]] was a very forceful person and quickly saw the power of system dynamics.
** Forrester (1989) ''[http://leml.asu.edu/jingle/Web_Pages/EcoMod_Website/Readings/SD+STELLA/Forrester-Begin'g-SD_1989.pdf The Beginning of System Dynamics]''. Banquet Talk at the international meeting of the System Dynamics Society Stuttgart, Germany July 13, 1989

* No plea about inadequacy of our understanding of the decision-making processes can excuse us from estimating decision making criteria. To omit a decision point is to deny its presence – a mistake of far greater magnitude than any errors in our best estimate of the process. 
** Forester (2000) &quot;Perspectives on the modelling process&quot; in: ''Modeling for Learning Organizations.'' John Douglas William Morecroft, ‎John Sterman eds. 2000. p. 66 

=== ''Engineering Education and Engineering Practice in the Year 2000'' (1967) ===
Jay W. Forrester. &quot;[http://books.google.nl/books?hl=nl&amp;lr=&amp;id=jTYrAAAAYAAJ&amp;oi=fnd&amp;pg=PA129 Engineering Education and Engineering Practice in the Year 2000].&quot; in: Engineering for the benefit of mankind: a symposium held at the third autumn meeting of the National Academy of Engineering. National Academy of Engineering, 1967/1970. 

* [The engineer] must identify the significant and critical problems, but in his education, problems have been predetermined and assigned. He must develop the judgment to know what solutions to problems are possible, but in school the problems encountered are known to have answers. He should be excited by new and unsolved challenges, but for 20 years he has lived in an educational system where he knows he is repeating the work of last year's students. 
** p. 134-135 as cited in: Ben. F. Barton (1981) ''The nature and treatment of professional engineering problems: The technical writing teacher's responsibility''. p. 19

* The [[enterprise engineer]] must be a leader, a designer, and a synthesizer. He is a doer. He understands theory as a guide to practice. He must concern himself with human organization because the pace and success of technology are becoming more dependent on interaction with the social system and less on scientific discovery. In private as well as public research and development, such men must find ways to reverse the deterioration of ethics and efficiency. They will strengthen the information links between physical design and the public so that technology can better serve society. In the public sector they must show the level of wisdom and leadership that can co-ordinate great engineering projects with politics. They will recognise that informing the public and becoming a nucleus for crystallising public opinion is even more important in many programmes than is the underlying science.
** p. 137

=== ''Principles of Systems'' (1968) ===
Forrester JW. 1968b. Principles of Systems. Pegasus Communications: Waltham, MA

* In concept a feedback system is a closed system. Its dynamic behavior arises within its internal structure. Any action which is essential to the behavior of the mode being investigated must be included inside the system boundary. 
** p. 4-1 as cited in: Richardson, George P. &quot;[http://obssr.od.nih.gov/issh/2012/files/Richardson%202011.pdf Reflections on the foundations of system dynamics].&quot; System Dynamics Review 27.3 (2011): 219-243.

* Formulating a model of a system should start from the question “Where is the boundary, that encompasses the smallest number of components, within which the dynamic behavior under study is generated?”
** p. 4-2; as cited in Richardson (2011)

=== ''Urban dynamics'' (1969) ===
J.W. Forrester ''Urban dynamics''. 1969 

* In complex systems cause and effect are often not closely related in either time or space. The structure of a complex system is not a simple feedback loop where one system state dominates the behavior. The complex system has a multiplicity of interacting feedback loops. Its internal rates of flow are controlled by nonlinear relationships. The complex system is of high order, meaning that there are many system states (or levels). It usually contains positive-feedback loops describing growth processes as well as negative, goal-seeking loops. In the complex system the cause of a difficulty may lie far back in time from the symptoms, or in a completely different and remote part of the system. In fact, causes are usually found, not in prior events, but in the structure and policies of the system.
** p. 9

=== ''World Dynamics'' (1973) === 
Forrester, Jay Wright. World Dynamics. Cambridge, Mass. : Wright-Allen Press, 1973. http://archive.org/details/worlddynamics00forr.

* The strongest criticism has come from some economists. The objections range from simple misunderstanding, through belief that essential structures have been omitted from the world model, to concern over the costs and feasibility of halting economic growth. Although there is a basis for the criticisms, they have not had sufficient substance to dismiss the central issues. The debate seems to be gradually moving away from the question of whether or not industrial growth must slow to the question of what strategy should be used to limit growth. The latter question, however, remains unanswered. 
** Preface to the Second Edition, p. vii

* In spite of the tentative nature of the world model described here, various conclusions are drawn from it. Man acts at all times on the models he has available. Mental images are models. We are now using those mental models as a basis for action. Anyone who proposes a policy, law, or course of action is doing so on the basis of the model in which he, at that time, has the greatest confidence. Having defined with care the model contained herein, and having examined its dynamic behavior and implications, I have greater confidence in this world system model than in others that I now have available. Therefore, this is the model I should use for recommending actions. Those others who find this model more persuasive than the one they are now using presumably will wish to employ it until a better model becomes available.
** Preface, p. xi

* It is to be hoped that those who believe they already have some different model that is more valid will present it in the same explicit detail, so that its assumptions and consequences can be examined and compared. To reject this model because of its shortcomings without offering concrete and tangible alternatives would be equivalent to asking that time be stopped. But the world will continue to turn. We always use the most acceptable model at any point in time. But how should we proceed so that the most acceptable model is also the best one that is available? We should try for three things. First, the best existing model should be identified at each point in time. Second, the best currently existing model should be used in preference to traditional models that may be less clear and less correct. Third, aggressive effort should be devoted to a continual improvement in the available models of the world system. 
** Preface, p. xi

* It seems traditional for explicit models of social systems to be greeted by vague criticisms about their lack of perfection. Instead, we need equally explicit alternatives with a demonstration that the alternative leads to a ''different'' and ''more plausible'' set of conclusions. By proposal and counter proposition our understanding of social systems can advance. 
** Preface, p. xi

* There may be no realistic hope of the present underdeveloped countries reaching the standard of living demonstrated by the present industrialized nations. The pollution and natural-resource load placed on the world environmental system by each person in an advanced country is probably 20 to 50 times greater than the load now generated by a person in an underdeveloped country. With 4 times as many people in the underdeveloped countries as in the present developed countries, their rising to the economic level that has been set as a standard by the industrialized nations could mean an increase of 10 times in the natural-resource and pollution load on the world environment. Noting the destruction that has already occurred on land, in the air, and especially in the oceans, capability appears not to exist for handling such a rise in standard of living. In fact, the present disparity between the developed and underdeveloped nations may be equalized as much by a decline in the developed countries as by an improvement in the underdeveloped countries. 
** Chapter 1, p. 12

== Quotes about Jay Forrester ==
* Professor Forrester told the National Academy of Engineering this fall, the &quot;enterprise engineer,&quot; cast in the mold of the &quot;professional engineer of folklore,&quot; is needed now more than ever before &quot;to resynthesize the fragments caused by the specialization of other man&quot;.
** ''Technology Review'' (1967) Vol. 70, p. 135

* [[Mihajlo D. Mesarovic|Mesarovic]] and [[Eduard Pestel|Pestel]] are critical of the Forrester-[[Donella Meadows|Meadows]] [[world view]], which is that of a homogeneous system with a fully predetermined evolution in time once the initial conditions are specified.
** ''New Scientist''. Vol. 66, nr. 947. May 1, 1975. p. 272

* Another tradition in [[systems theory]], known as system dynamics, originated at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. The founder of this tradition was Jay Forrester, a creative engineer who invented the magnetic core memory for computers and who built the {{w|Whirlwind computer}}, which is now in the Smithsonian Institution.
** [[Stuart A. Umpleby]] and {{w|Eric B. Dent}}. &quot;[http://www.acasa.upenn.edu/Ump_Final.pdf The origins and purposes of several traditions in systems theory and cybernetics].&quot; Cybernetics &amp; Systems 30.2 (1999): 79-103.p. 85: About System Dynamics

== External links ==
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      <text bytes="10364" xml:space="preserve">[[File:GDP-2014-symbol-en-01.svg|thumb|370px|A map of [[:w:List of countries by GDP (nominal)|world economies by size of GDP (nominal)]] in $US, ''IMF'', 2014.]]
'''[[:w:Gross domestic product|Gross Domestic Product]]''' (GDP) is the market value of all officially recognized final goods and services produced within a country in a year, or over a given period of time. GDP per capita is often used as an indicator of a country's material standard of living. GDP measures recessions by two negative quarters of growth. 
__NOTOC__
:&lt;small&gt;'''CONTENT'''&lt;/small&gt; : [[#A - F|A - F]] , [[#G - L|G - L]] , [[#M - R|M - R]] , [[#S - Z|S - Z]] , [[#See also|See also]] , [[#External links|External links]]

== Quotes ==
:''Quotes are arranged alphabetically by author''

=== A - F ===
*But, but I mean, we've used up a lot of bullets. And we talk about [[stimulus]]. But the truth is, we're running a federal deficit that's nine percent of GDP. That is stimulative as all get out. I mean, that is more stimulative than any policy we've followed since World War II. 
**[[Warren Buffett]], in Alex Crippen ''[http://www.cnbc.com/id/39321372 Warren Buffett to CNBC: U.S. Capitalism's 'Regenerative Capacity' More Important Than Government Stimulus]'', CNBC , 23 September 2010

*I just think that - when a country needs more income and we do, we're only taking in 15 percent of GDP, I mean, that - that - when a country needs more income, they should get it from the people that have it.
**[[Warren Buffett]], in Alex Crippen ''[http://www.cnbc.com/id/39321861 Warren Buffett to CNBC: Country Should Get Needed Income from the 'People Who Have It']'', CNBC, 23 September 2010

*I define it, I think we're in a recession until real per capita GDP gets back up to where it was before. That is not the way the National Bureau of Economic Research measures it. But I will tell you that to any, on any common sense definition, the average American is below where he was before, or his family, in terms of real income, GDP. We're still in a recession. And, and we're not gonna be out of it for awhile, but we will get out of it.
**[[Warren Buffett]],  on the issue of recession in the US, in Alex Crippen ''[http://www.cnbc.com/id/39320992 Warren Buffett to CNBC: &quot;We're Still In a Recession&quot;]'', CNBC , 23 September 2010

=== G - L ===
* Basically, GDP is a concept of value added. It is the sum of gross value added of all resident producer units (institutional sectors or, alternatively, industries) plus that part (possibly the total) of taxes, less subsidies, on products which is not included in the valuation of output. Gross value added is the difference between output and intermediate consumption.
** {{w|International Monetary Fund}} (1993) ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=4VenznvjTcwC&amp;pg=PA41 System of National Accounts 1993)'' (EPub), p. 41

* Of the proportion, which the product of any region bears to the people, an estimate is commonly made according to the pecuniary price of the necessities of life; which is never certain, because it  supposes what is far from truth, that the value of money is always the same, and so measures an unknown quantity by an uncertain standard. It is competent enough when the markets of the same country, at different times, and those times not too distant, are to be compared; but of very little use for the purpose of making one nation acquainted with the state of another.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''[[Samuel_Johnson#A Journey to the Western Islands of Scotland (1775)|A Journey to the Western Islands of Scotland]]'' (1775) [https://books.google.com/books?id=-6JfAAAAcAAJ&amp;pg=PA366 pp. 366-367]

*The way in which economists incorporate inequality into their analyses can have a significant impact on their policy recommendations. If all costs are evaluated in dollars, a loss of, say, 10% of GDP in a poor country is likely to be much less than a loss of 3% of GDP in a rich country. Thus the damages from climate change in poor countries, which may be large as a percentage of GDP, would receive relatively little weight because the losses are relatively small in dollar terms... Stern estimates that, without the effects of inequity, the costs of a [[w:Business as usual (policy)|BAU]] scenario will be 11-14% of global GDP. Weighing the impacts on the world’s poor more heavily gives a cost estimate of 20% of global GDP.  
**Jonathan M. Harris and Brian Roach, in ''[http://www.ase.tufts.edu/gdae/education_materials/modules/The_Economics_of_Global_Climate_Change.pdf The Economics of Global Climate Change]'', p. 19

*It costs governments money to keep fuel prices low. Oil-rich Yemen, for instance, devotes 9 percent of its GDP to making sure its people don't riot when oil prices rise. But the problem with cheap, subsidized fuel is that it creates more demand, and thus costs the governments more money. Countries like Iran, Yemen, Colombia, and Nigeria could go broke if they keep providing cheap gas to keep people happy.
**[[Robert Kiyosaki]], in ''[http://www.richdad.com/Resources/Articles/YF---11-26-2007.aspx  Welcome to Turbulent Times]'', 26 November 2007

=== M - R ===
*India needs to be liberated both from the 'high GDP growth hedgehogs' and the 'conservation at all costs hedgehogs.'
**[[w:Jairam Ramesh|Jairam Ramesh]], in ''[http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chennai/India-needs-a-smooth-fox-not-a-hedgehog-says-Jairam-Ramesh/articleshow/8156076.cms India needs a smooth fox, not a hedgehog, says Jairam Ramesh]'', The Times Of India, 4 May 2011,

*We are misery-making machines! Homo sapiens has perfected the art of causing suffering. Pain is humankind's collective GDP.
**[[Henry Rollins]], in ''[http://www.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2014/03/06/henry-rollins-pain-and-gain Henry Rollins: Pain and Gain]'', LA Weekly, 6 March 2014

*Government [the US] is taking 40 percent of the GDP. And that's at the state, local and federal level. President Obama has taken government spending at the federal level from 20 percent to 25 percent. Look, at some point, you cease being a free economy, and you become a government economy. And we've got to stop that.
**[[Mitt Romney]], in ''[http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/hannity/transcript/presidential-candidate-mitt-romneys-plant-get-economy-back-track Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney's Plant to Get Economy Back on Track]'', Hannity, 2 June 2011

=== S - Z ===

*For 60 years Gross Domestic Product, or GDP for short, has been the yardstick by which the world has measured and understood economic and social progress. However, it has failed to capture some of the factors that make a difference in people’s lives and contribute to their happiness, such as security, leisure,income distribution and a clean environment–including the kinds of factors which growth itself needs to be sustainable. 
**[[Joseph Stiglitz]], in ''[http://www.strukturalni-fondy.cz/CMSPages/GetFile.aspx?guid=00ed1783-7497-454a-b7ad-7026b79226f1. Beyond GDP: Measuring the impact of Operational Programmes in relation to economic growth and sustainable development at a local/regional level.]'', QeC-ERAN

* We are consuming the past, present, and future of this biosphere, our only home, in an unthinking rush for profits and GDP that we call 'progress', belying our species name homo sapiens.
** [[Pavan Sukhdev]] in foreword to ''[https://books.google.it/books?id=CxHuA5AZ92AC&amp;pg=PR0 Bankrupting Nature: Denying Our Planetary Boundaries]'' by Anders Wijkman and Johan Rockström (Abingdon, Oxon: Routledge, 2012), p. xi.

* Economics also succeeded in grafting onto the countries of the third world impressive theories and isolated important concepts such as gross national product, gross domestic product, and income per capita. These concepts served as building blocks with which economics constructed elaborate and impressive theories of development, including formula for predicting the rate of economic development of a given nation. According to economics, [[gross national product]] (GNP) is the total value of goods and services produced by a given country during a specified time period, such as a year. Gross domestic product (GDP), on the other hand, is gross national product minus the net income the nation earned abroad. 
** Denis Chima E. Ugwuegbu (2011) ''Social Psychology and Social Change in Nigeria,'' p. 32 

* [[Creative destruction]] can apply to economic concepts as well. And this downturn offers an excellent opportunity to get rid of one that has long outlived its usefulness: gross domestic product. G.D.P. is one measure of national income, of how much wealth Americans make, and it’s a deeply foolish indicator of how the economy is doing. It ought to join buggy. 
** [[Eric Zencey]], in ''[http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/10/opinion/10zencey.html?pagewanted=all&amp;_r=0 G.D.P. R.I.P.]'', The New York Times, 9 August 9, 2009

*To begin with, Gross Domestic Product excludes a great deal of production that has economic value. Neither volunteer work nor unpaid domestic services (housework, child rearing, do-it-yourself home improvement) make it into the accounts, and our standard of living, our general level of economic well-being, benefits mightily from both. Nor does it include the huge economic benefit that we get directly, outside of any market, from nature. A mundane example: If you let the sun dry your clothes, the service is free and doesn’t show up in our domestic product; if you throw your laundry in the dryer, you burn fossil fuel, increase your carbon footprint, make the economy more unsustainable — and give G.D.P. a bit of a bump. 
**[[w:Eric Zencey|Eric Zencey]], in &quot;G.D.P. R.I.P.''

*Several alternatives to Gross Domestic Product have been proposed, and each tackles the central problem of placing a value on goods and services that never had a dollar price. The alternatives are controversial, because that kind of valuation creates room for subjectivity – for the expression of personal values, of ideology and political belief....It’s admittedly difficult to set a dollar price on such things – but this is no reason to set that price at zero, as gross domestic product currently does 
**[[w:Eric Zencey|Eric Zencey]], in &quot;G.D.P. R.I.P.''

== See also ==
* [[Gross national happiness]]
* [[Gross National Product]]
* [[Macroeconomics]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

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'''''[[w:Whiplash (2014 film)|Whiplash]]''''' is a [[w:2014 in film|2014 film]] about a student drummer enrolling at a cut-throat music conservatory where he dreams of greatness are mentored by an abusive instructor.
:''Directed and written by [[w:Damien Chazelle|Damien Chazelle]].''
&lt;center&gt;'''The road to greatness can take you to the edge.'''&lt;/center&gt;

== Terence Fletcher ==
* We've got a squeaker today, people. Neiman. 19 years old. Isn't he cute?

* Parker, that is not your boyfriend's dick. Do not come early. 

* ''[playing an audio clip of a trumpet solo for the band]'' Six years ago, I came across a kid in a practice room working on his scales. He was early second year and he'd started at Shaffer with a lot of hope. Like all you guys. But the truth was, he barely squeaked in to begin with, and, uh... he was really struggling. The faculty were all telling him, &quot;Maybe this isn't for you.&quot; But they didn't see what I saw. This scared, skinny kid, cursing himself because he couldn't get his scales right. I saw a drive in him. And I put him in Studio Band. And when he graduated, Marsalis made him third trumpet at Lincoln Center. A year later, he was first. And that's who you're listening to now. His name was Sean Casey. I found out this morning that... Sean... died yesterday... in a car accident. And, uh, I just... I wanted you guys to know he was a beautiful player. I just thought you should know.

* And here comes Mister Gay Pride of the Upper West Side himself. Unfortunately, this is not a Bette Midler concert, we will not be serving Cosmopolitans and Baked Alaska, so just play faster than you give fucking hand jobs, will you please? One, two, one, two. ''[Carl starts drumming, Fletcher stops him]'' Not even fucking close. ''[to Ryan]'' Let's go, with the Irish Mick-fucking-Paddy cracker now. You know, you actually do look quite a bit like a leprechaun. I think I'm gonna start calling you Flannery.

* ''[after Andrew stops drumming]'' Is that really the fastest you can play, you worthless Hymie fuck? No wonder mommy ran out on you. Get off the fucking kit.

* Were you rushing or were you dragging?

* If you deliberately sabotage ''my'' band, I will ''fuck you'' like a pig.

* Oh, my dear God. Are you one of those single tear people?

* You are a worthless, friendless, faggot-lipped little piece of shit whose mommy left daddy when she figured out he wasn't [[Eugene O'Neill]], who is now weeping and slobbering all over my drum set like a fucking nine-year-old girl!

* Either you're deliberately out of tune and sabotaging my band, or you don't know you're out of tune, which, I'm afraid, is even worse.

* For the record, Metz wasn't out of tune. You were, Erickson, but he didn't know and that's bad enough.

* Neiman, you earned the part. Alternates, will you clean the blood off my drum set?

* ''[Repeated line]'' Not quite my tempo.

* The folder is your fucking responsibility, Tanner. Why would you give it to Neiman? Right? You give a calculator to a fucking retard he's gonna try to turn on a TV with it. Now get your sticks and get your ass on stage.

* Listen up, cocksuckers! Hurry the fuck up. Get your music. &quot;Irene&quot; only. Set one. Rhythm section out first. Tanner, the kit is a tonal fucking catastrophe. Get it in tune, all right? Rhythm and soloists, bar 45. We're gonna pick up the tempo there, all right? Bar 106, brass, do not forget we sharp that ninth. Everybody remember, Lincoln Center and its ilk use these competitions to decide who they are interested in and who they are not. And I am not gonna have my reputation in that department tarnished by a bunch of fucking limp-dick, sour-note, flatter-than-their-girlfriends, flexible-tempo dipshits. Got it? One more thing. Eugene, give me that. ''[Eugene hands Fletcher his music folder]'' If I ''ever'' see another one of these lying around, I swear to ''fucking God'', I will stop being so polite. ''[to a stagehand who just walked in]'' Get the fuck out of my sight before I demolish you. ''[to band]'' Stage right, in order, now. ''[to stagehand]'' I can still fucking see you, Mini-Me!

* You think I'm fucking stupid? I know it was you.

* Now, are you a rusher, or are you a dragger, or are you gonna be '''''ON MY FUCKING TIME?!'''''

* Sorry guys, hate to put you through this...If you need to fucking take a dump, or get a coffee, whatever - now might be a good time, because we're gonna stay here until I find a drummer who can fucking play in time. I apologize to the musicians...Seriously, take ten, twenty, a fucking hour. ''[to drummers]'' You hear me, cocksuckers? You better start shitting me ''perfect'' four-hundreds. Connolly, get your fucking ass back on the kit!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Fletcher''': Tell me it's not you, Elmer Fudd. ''[walks over to Metz]'' It's okay. Play.
:''[Metz plays a couple of notes; Fletcher stops him]''
:'''Fletcher''': Do you think you're out of tune?
:''[Metz only stares at the floor]''
:'''Fletcher''': What are you ... there's no fucking Mars bar down there. What are you looking at? Look up here, look at me. Do you think you're out of tune?
:'''Metz''': ''[after a long, hesitant pause]'' Yes.
:'''Fletcher''': ''[yelling]'' '''''THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!''''' ''[calmer tone]'' I've carried your fat ass for too long, Metz. I'm not gonna have you cost us a competition because your mind's on a fucking Happy Meal instead of on pitch. Jackson, congratulations. You're fourth chair. Metz, why are you still sitting there? ''Get the fuck out!''
:''[Metz gets up and walks out out of the room]''
:'''Fletcher''': ''[to the band]'' For the record, Metz wasn't out of tune. You were, Erickson, but he didn't know and that's bad enough. Alright take 10, when we get back the squeaker's on.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fletcher''': Your parents musicians?
:'''Andrew''': No.
:'''Fletcher''': What do they do?
:'''Andrew''': My, uh, dad's a writer.
:'''Fletcher''': Oh, what's he written?
:'''Andrew''': Uh, I guess he's more of a teacher, really.
:'''Fletcher''': Oh. College?
:'''Andrew''': Pennington High School.
:'''Fletcher''': What about your mother, what does she do?
:'''Andrew''': I don't know, she left when I was a baby.
:'''Fletcher''': So no musicians in the family. ''[Andrew shakes his head]'' Well, you've just got to listen to the greats then. Buddy Rich, Jo Jones. You know, Charlie Parker became Bird because Jones threw a cymbal at his head. See what I'm saying?
:'''Andrew''': Mm-hm.
:'''Fletcher''': Listen, the key is to just relax. Don't worry about the numbers, don't worry about what the other guys are thinking. You're here for a reason. You believe that, right?
:'''Andrew''': Yeah.
:'''Fletcher''': Say it.
:'''Andrew''': I'm here for a reason.
:'''Fletcher''': Cool. All right, man. Have fun.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fletcher''': Why do you suppose I just hurled a chair at your head, Neiman?
:'''Andrew''': I... I don't know.
:'''Fletcher''': Sure you do.
:'''Andrew''': The tempo.
:'''Fletcher''': Were you rushing or were you dragging?
:'''Andrew''': I don't know.
:''[Fletcher rushes to the kit and stares Andrew in the face]''
:'''Fletcher''': Start counting.
:'''Andrew''': Five, six--
:'''Fletcher''': In four, damn it! Look at me.
:'''Andrew''': One, two, three, four-- ''[Fletcher slaps him]'' ...One, two, three, four-- ''[slap]'' ...One, two, three...
:'''Fletcher''': Now, was I rushing or was I dragging?
:'''Andrew''': I don't know.
:'''Fletcher''': Count again.
:'''Andrew''': One, two, three, four-- ''[slap]'' ...One, two, three, four-- ''[slap]'' ...One, two, three...
:'''Fletcher''': Rushing or dragging?
:'''Andrew''': Rushing.
:'''Fletcher''': So you ''do'' know the difference! If you deliberately sabotage ''my'' band, I will ''fuck you'' like a pig. Now are you a rusher, or are you a ''dragger'', or are you gonna be '''''ON MY FUCKING TIME?!'''''
:'''Andrew''': I'm gonna be on your time.
:'''Fletcher''': ''[points to sheet music]'' What does that say?
:'''Andrew''': Quarter note equals 215.
:'''Fletcher''': Count me a 215.
:'''Andrew''': One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four...
:'''Fletcher''': Jesus fucking Christ! I didn't know they allowed retards into Shaffer! Am I to understand that you ''cannot'' read tempo? Can you even fucking read music?! What is that?
:'''Andrew''': Eighth note.
:'''Fletcher''': Yes, what is that?
:'''Andrew''': Dotted sixteenth note.
:'''Fletcher''': Sight-read measure 101.
:'''Andrew''': Bop-bop-ba-bop-ba--
:'''Fletcher''': What, are you in a fucking a cappella group? Play the goddamn kit! ''[Andrew drums the measure]'' Stop. Now answer my question: were you rushing, or were you dragging? ''[Andrew doesn't respond]'' '''''ANSWER!!!'''''
:'''Andrew''': Rushing.
:'''Fletcher''': ''[sees Andrew shed a tear]'' Oh, my dear God. Are you one of those single tear people? Do I look like a double fucking rainbow to you? You must be upset. Are you upset?
:'''Andrew''': No.
:'''Fletcher''': No? So you just don't give a shit about any of this?
:'''Andrew''': I ''do'' give a shit about this.
:'''Fletcher''': So, are you upset? Yes or fucking no? ''[Andrew nods yes]'' Yes, you are upset.
:'''Andrew''': Yeah.
:'''Fletcher''': Say it.
:'''Andrew''': I'm upset.
:'''Fletcher''': Say it so the whole band can hear you.
:'''Andrew''': I'm upset!
:'''Fletcher''': Louder!
:'''Andrew''': ''[loud]'' I'm upset!
:'''Fletcher''': LOUDER!
:'''Andrew''': ''[louder]'' I'M UPSET!
:'''Fletcher''': You are a worthless, friendless, faggot-lipped little piece of shit whose mommy left daddy when she figured out he wasn't [[Eugene O'Neill]], and who is now weeping and slobbering all over my drum set like a fucking nine-year old girl! So for the final, FATHER-FUCKING TIME, '''''SAY IT LOUDER!!!'''''
:'''Andrew''': ''[at the top of his lungs]'' '''''I'M UPSET!!!'''''
:'''Fletcher''': Carl. ''[Carl takes Andrew's place at the drums as Fletcher goes back to compose the band]'' Start practicing harder, Neiman.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Carl''': I need to look at the music.
:'''Andrew''': Oh yeah, it's right here. ''[He turns around to realize the folder is not where he left it]''
:'''Carl''': Why isn't it on you?
:'''Andrew''': ''[Confused]'' Where's the folder?
:'''Carl''': You're joking, right?
:'''Andrew''': I- no- no, I literal- no, I s- I swear I just had it here two seconds ago-
:'''Carl''': I don't know-
:'''Andrew''': It's gotta be around here somewhere. Did you see-
:'''Carl''': ''[Angry]'' How could you be so fucking stupid?
:'''Andrew''': I don't know, maybe a janitor came by or something-
:'''Carl''': A janitor? ''[Desperate]'' '''FIND THE FUCKING FOLDER! A FUCKING JANITOR?!''' YOU'RE A DUMB FUCK! A DUMB FUCK! FIND THE FOLDER!
:'''Andrew''': I'm sorry-
''[Fletcher calls Tanner from off the scene. Both drummers turn around when they hear him.]''  
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fletcher''': Jesus fucking Christ, where have you been?
:'''Carl''': We have an issue.
:'''Fletcher''': Okay, now is not the time.
:'''Carl''': I gave Neiman the folder and Neiman lost it.
:'''Fletcher''': Neiman lost it?
:'''Carl''': Yes.
:'''Fletcher''': The folder is your fucking responsibility, Tanner. Why would you give it to Neiman? Right? You give a calculator to a fucking retard he's gonna try to turn on a TV with it. Now get your sticks and get your ass on stage.
:'''Carl''': I-- I can't.
:'''Fletcher''': You can't?
:'''Carl''': I-- I can't go onstage. I don't know the charts by heart.
:'''Fletcher''': Are you fucking kidding me?
:'''Carl''': I-- ''[stammers]'' You know this. I need the music. It's my memory, I need visual cues.
:'''Fletcher''': Visual cues?
:'''Carl''': Yes, it's a medical condition--
:'''Fletcher''': A medical condition? What are you, fucking [[Sanjay Gupta]]? Play the goddamn music.
:'''Carl''': I can't.
:'''Andrew''': I can.
:'''Fletcher''': You know &quot;Whiplash&quot; by heart?
:'''Andrew''': Yes, sir. Every measure.
:'''Fletcher''': All right. Well, you better fucking hope your memory doesn't fail you. And I hope you play it a whole lot better than you did last month in rehearsal, because I do not intend to start losing now. Get your sticks and get your sticks and get your fucking ass onstage. ''[to band]'' Onstage!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Frank''': You got any friends, Andy?
:'''Andrew''': No.
:'''Uncle Frank''': Oh, why's that?
:'''Andrew''': I don't know, I just never really saw the use.
:'''Uncle Frank''': Well, who are you going to play with otherwise? [[John Lennon|Lennon]] and [[w:Paul McCartney|McCartney]], they were school buddies, am I right?
:'''Andrew''': [[Charlie Parker]] didn't know anybody 'til [[w:Jo Jones |Jo Jones]] threw a cymbal at his head.
:'''Uncle Frank''': So that's your idea of success, huh?
:'''Andrew''': I think being the greatest musician of the 20th century is anybody's idea of success.
:'''Jim''': Dying broke and drunk and full of heroin at the age of 34 is not exactly my idea of success.
:'''Andrew''': I'd rather die drunk, broke at 34 and have people at a dinner table talk about me than live to be rich and sober at 90 and nobody remembered who I was.
:'''Uncle Frank''': Ah, but your friends will remember you, that's the point.
:'''Andrew''': None of us were friends with Charlie Parker. ''That's'' the point.
:'''Uncle Frank''': Travis and Dustin? They have plenty of friends and plenty of purpose.
:'''Andrew''': I'm sure they'll make great school board presidents someday.
:'''Dustin''': Oh, that's what this is all about? You think you're better than us?
:'''Andrew''': You catch on quick. Are you in Model UN?
:'''Travis''': I got a reply for you, Andrew. You think Carleton football's a joke? Come play with us.
:'''Andrew''': Four words you will never hear from the NFL.
:'''Aunt Emma''': Who wants dessert?
:'''Jim''': Hear from Lincoln Center?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Andrew''': I'm just gonna lay it out there. This is why I don't think we should be together. And I've thought about it a lot and this is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna keep pursuing what I'm pursuing. And because I'm doing that, it's gonna take up more and more of my time. And I'm not gonna be able to spend as much time with you. And when I do spend time with you, I'm gonna be thinking about drumming. And I'm gonna be thinking about jazz music, my charts, all that. And because of that, you're gonna start to resent me. And you're gonna tell me to ease up on the drumming, spend more time with you because you're not feeling important. And I'm not gonna be able to do that. And really, I'm gonna start to resent you for even asking me to stop drumming. And we're just gonna start to hate each other. And it's gonna get very... It's gonna be ugly. And so for those reasons, I'd rather just, you know, break it off clean... because I wanna be great.
:'''Nicole''': And you're not?
:'''Andrew''': I wanna be one of the greats.
:'''Nicole''': And I would stop you from doing that?
:'''Andrew''': Yeah.
:'''Nicole''': You know I would stop you from doing that. You know, for a fact?
:'''Andrew''': Yes.
:'''Nicole''': And I'd barely see you anyway?
:'''Andrew''': Yeah.
:'''Nicole''': And when I do see you, you'd treat me like shit because I'm just some girl who doesn't know what she wants. And you have a path, and you're gonna be great, and I'm going to be forgotten, and therefore you won't be able to give me the time of day because you have bigger things to pursue?
:'''Andrew''': That's exactly my point.
:'''Nicole''': What the fuck is wrong with you? You're right, we should not be dating.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Andrew''': Hey. Hey, sorry I'm late.
:'''Fletcher''': Well, glad you could fit us into your busy schedule, darling. 
:'''Andrew''': I know. Look, I'm sorry I'm late, but I'm here. I'm ready to go.
:'''Fletcher''': Connolly's playing the part.
:'''Andrew''': Yeah, like ''fucking hell'' he's playing my part.
:'''Fletcher''': What the fuck did you just say to me?
:'''Andrew''': It's my part.
:'''Fletcher''': It's my part and I decide who to lend it to. Usually it's somebody that has fucking sticks.
:''[Andrew realizes he left his drumsticks behind]''
:'''Andrew''': I left them in the car, I'll be right back. Take me five minutes.
:'''Fletcher''': I'm warming up the band now.
:'''Andrew''': Look, I can use Ryan's sticks.
:'''Fletcher''': Neiman, you lost the fucking part.
:'''Andrew''': No, I didn't! Look, you can't fucking do this to me!
:'''Fletcher''': ''''CAN'T''''?!
:'''Andrew''': Yeah!
:'''Fletcher''': When did you become a fucking expert on what I can or cannot do, you fucking weepy willow shitsack?
:'''Andrew''': I earned that part.
:'''Fletcher''': You never ''earned'' anything. God, you are a self-righteous prick. The only reason you are a core is because you misplaced a folder. The only reason you're in Studio Band to begin with is because I told you ''exactly'' what I'd be asking for in Nassau! Am I wrong?
:'''Andrew''': Yeah, yeah. I'm in studio band because I'm the best player...
:'''Ryan''': ''[interrupts]'' Hey, why don't you just back off, bro?
:'''Andrew''': Hey, you know, fuck off, Johnny Utah! Turn my pages, '''bitch!'''
:'''Fletcher''': Hey, I can cut you any fucking time I want.
:'''Andrew''': You would've cut me by now.
:'''Fletcher''': Try me, you fucking weasel! At 5:30, that's in exactly eleven minutes, my band is onstage. If your ass is not on that stool with your own fucking sticks in hand or you make ONE FUCKING MISTAKE, ''ONE'', I will drum your ass back to Nassau where you can turn pages until you graduate or fucking drop out! By the time you're done at Shaffer, you're gonna make Daddy look like a fucking success story! Got it? ''Or'', we can let Johnny Utah play the part. You choose.
:'''Andrew''': It's my part, I'll be on your stage. ''[to Connelly]'' Fuck you. ''[runs to get his sticks]''
:'''Fletcher''': You got ten minutes you fucking pathetic pansy-ass fruit-fuck!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lawyer''': Does the name Sean Casey mean anything to you? You know of his death? Last month, he hanged himself in his apartment.
:'''Andrew''': What does that have to do with me?
:'''Lawyer''': Sean suffered from anxiety and depression. His mother claims this started during his time as Fletcher's student. Now, the Casey's aren't wealthy, they don't want to file suit.
:'''Andrew''': So, what do they want?
:'''Lawyer''': To make sure that Terence Fletcher is never allowed to do this to another student.
:'''Andrew''': He didn't do anything.
:'''Jim''': What is wrong with you? It's over, okay? He's out of your life. Why would you let him get away with what he did to you?
:'''Lawyer''': Would you characterize his conduct as extreme, Andrew? Did he ever intentionally inflict emotional distress? This would not be a public hearing, you know. Fletcher would never know it was you who spoke up.
:'''Andrew''': Why would you do this to me?
:'''Jim''': Do you think that I would let him put my son through hell, and then just walk away scot-free? Don't you know I would never let that happen? That there is nothing in the world more important to me than you? Don't you know that?
:'''Lawyer''': ''[long pause]'' Andrew?
:'''Andrew''': Just tell me what to say.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fletcher''': I don't know if you heard. I'm not at Shaffer anymore.
:'''Andrew''': Yeah, I did hear that. Did you quit?
:'''Fletcher''': Not exactly. Some parents got a kid from Sean Casey's year, I think, to say some things about me. Although why anybody would have anything other than peaches and cream to say anything about me is a mystery. ''[Andrew chuckles]'' That's a good laugh, right?
:'''Andrew''': I'm sorry.
:'''Fletcher''': No, listen-- I get it. I know I made enemies. I'm conducting a little, though. They brought back the JVC Fest this year. They got me opening in a couple weeks with a pro band.
:'''Andrew''': That's great.
:'''Fletcher''': Yeah. It's all right. Truth is, I don't think people understood what it was I was doing at Shaffer. I wasn't there to conduct. Any fucking moron can wave his arms and keep people in tempo. I was there to ''push'' people beyond what's expected of them. I believe that is... an ''absolute'' necessity. Otherwise, we're depriving the world of the next [[Louis Armstrong]]. The next [[w:Charlie Parker|Charlie Parker]]. I told you that story about how Charlie Parker ''became'' Charlie Parker, right?
:'''Andrew''': [[w:Jo Jones|Jo Jones]] threw a cymbal at his head.
:'''Fletcher''': Exactly. Parker's a young kid, pretty good on the sax. Gets up to play at a cutting session, and he fucks it up. And Jones nearly decapitates him for it. And he's laughed off-stage. Cries himself to sleep that night, but the next morning, what does he do? He practices. And he practices and he practices with one goal in mind: never to be laughed at again. And a year later, he goes back to the Reno and he steps up on that stage, and plays the best motherfucking solo the world has ever heard. So imagine if Jones had just said, &quot;Well, that's okay, Charlie. That was all right. Good job.&quot; And then Charlie thinks to himself, &quot;Well, shit, I did do a pretty good job.&quot; End of story. No Bird. That, to me, is an absolute tragedy. But that's just what the world wants now. People wonder why jazz is dying. I tell you, man, and every Starbucks &quot;jazz&quot; album just proves my point, really - there are no two words in the English language more harmful than &quot;good job&quot;.
:'''Andrew''': ''[pause]'' But is there a line? You know, maybe you go too far, and you discourage the next Charlie Parker from ever becoming Charlie Parker?
:'''Fletcher''': No, man, no. Because the next Charlie Parker would never ''be'' discouraged.
:'''Andrew''': Yeah.
:'''Fletcher''': The truth is, Andrew, I never really had a Charlie Parker. But I tried. I ''actually'' fucking tried, and that's more than most people ever do. And I will ''never'' apologize for how I tried.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Miles Teller|Miles Teller]] - Andrew Neiman
* [[w:J. K. Simmons|J. K. Simmons]] - Terence Fletcher 
* [[w:Paul Reiser|Paul Reiser]] - Jim Neiman
* [[w:Melissa Benoist|Melissa Benoist]] - Nicole
* [[w:Austin Stowell|Austin Stowell]] - Ryan
* [[w:Jayson Blair (actor)|Jayson Blair]] - Travis
* [[w:Kavita Patil|Kavita Patil]] - Sophie
* [[w:Michael Cohen (actor)|Michael Cohen]] - Stagehand Dunellen
* [[w:Kofi Siriboe|Kofi Siriboe]] - Greg
* [[w:Chris Mulkey|Chris Mulkey]] - Uncle Frank

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}} 
* {{imdb title|id=2582802|title=Whiplash}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=whiplash_2014|title=Whiplash}} &lt;br /&gt;
* [http://www.fletcherquote.com Whiplash] quotes at [http://www.fletcherquote.com FletcherQuote]

[[Category:2014 films]] 
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Independent films]]
[[Category:Musical films]]
[[Category:Sundance Film Festival award winners]]
[[Category:Films set in New York City]]</text>
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    <title>Futurama/Season 6</title>
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'''''[[Futurama]]''''' Season 6&lt;/noinclude&gt;

==Part 1==
===''[[w:Rebirth (Futurama)|Rebirth]]''===
:''[The Hypnotoad is shown on screen.]''
:'''Bender''': ''[Voice over.]'' On the count of three, you will awaken feeling refreshed, as if Futurama had never been cancelled by idiots and then brought back by bigger idiots. One... two... ''[Snaps fingers.]''

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': Professor, my Fry-fro is all frizzy!
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Okay.
:'''Fry''': That's all. ''[slicks his hair back]'' Oh, also, I'm covered with severe burns.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': So? What of it?
:'''Fry''': Well, why is... those things? 
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': You mean you don't remember? 
:'''Fry''': Nope, nothing. It's like when I passed out in college, except no one drew magic marker penises on my forehead.

{{line}}
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Fire all weapons and set a transmission frequency for my victory yodel.

{{line}}
:'''Hermes''': Sweet coincidence of Port-Au-Prince! We're back on Earth! 
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Of course! That was the Panama Wormhole, the universe's central transportation channel 
:'''Dr. Zoidberg''': ''[Chuckles]'' How humorous. 
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Yes, it's sort of a Comedy Central channel, and we're on it now.

{{line}}
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Yet thanks to my trusty safety sphere, I surblibed with only tirbial brain dablige.

{{line}}
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''':  Prepare for rebirth! Come on, stem cells, work your astounding scientific nonsense!
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Fetal stem cells? Aren't those controversial?
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': In your time, yes, but nowadays— shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stem cells.
{{line}}
:'''[[w:Bender (Futurama)|Bender]]''': Who are you, my warranty?

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': Coma, coma, coma, coma, coma chameleon! 

{{line}}
:''[At a dance studio a dance-party is interrupted by Bender; in a white dancing suit partying to work off his excess energy]''
:'''[[Bender (Futurama)|Bender]]''': Yeah! Do the Bender! Do the Bender!
:'''Guy in crowd''': ''[Uninterestedly]'' No thank you.
:'''Bender''': ''[Threateningly]'' '''I SAID &quot;DO IT!!!!!&quot;''' 
:''[Guy in crowd backs up from Bender in fear]''

{{line}}
:'''Leela Leela''': There's no room for two captain's butts in this chair!
:'''Robot Leela''': There would be if you'd have taken a spin class instead of lounging around in a coma!

=== ''[[w:In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela|In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela]]'' ===

:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?
:'''[[w:Bender (Futurama)|Bender]]''': I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.

{{line}}
:'''[[w:Doctor Zoidberg|Zoidberg]]''': Who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?

{{line}}
:'''[[w:Zapp Brannigan|Zapp Brannigan]]''': My God, we're defenseless. Like fish in a barrel.
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in Futurama#Richard Nixon|Richard Nixon's Head]]''': Options?
:'''[[w:Zapp Brannigan|Zapp Brannigan]]''': My instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.

{{line}}
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': This is it. The moment we should have trained for.

{{line}}
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Mr. President, what the hell?

{{line}}
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': I don't like the looks of this V-GINY.

{{line}}
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': I surrender and volunteer for treason!

{{line}}
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': V-GINY? Doesn't ring a bell.

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': Granted, all that makes perfect sense, but why is this death sphere destroying planets?
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': That makes the most sense of all.
:''[Farnsworth puts up a projection of planets destroyed by the death sphere.]''
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Look at the planets it's destroyed so far. First came X3, the nude beach planet. Then Poopiter.
:''[A planet labelled &quot;#!@€$!#%&amp;&quot; comes on screen.]''
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': And finally that world that can't be mentioned in polite company.
:'''Fry''': You mean...
:''[Fry whispers something to Farnsworth and the crew get angry at him for doing so. Farnsworth slaps Fry.]''
:'''Hermes''': ''[to Farnsworth]'' So you're saying this thing is ''censoring'' indecent planets? 
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Indeed. And we're next if we don't keep in in our collective pants. The only way to save Earth is to convince its citizens to repent their sinful ways. 
:'''Amy''': ''[Wearing S&amp;M gear]'' So the orgy is off?

{{line}}
:'''Leela''': Come, Adam, partake of my forbidden fruit. 
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Thee will be done.

{{line}}
:''[as Leela and Zapp have sex]''
:'''Fry''': For God's sake! Censor it! Censor it! 
:'''V-Giny''': Approved for all audiences! 
:'''Fry''': Nooooo!

=== ''[[w:Attack of the Killer App|Attack of the Killer App]]'' ===

:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable. I'll rest easier not knowing where they are.

{{line}}
:'''Leela''': So long, overly-complicated Japanese toilet!
:'''Toilet''': Please, not throw away. I give you, uh, happy poopy time!
:'''Fry''': Sorry, you know too much.

{{line}}
:'''Clerk''': Okay, it's $500, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can't hold the charge and the reception isn't very…
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Shut up and take my money!

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': This looks like a good place to ditch some evidence. ''[Opens bin and finds Flexo inside]'' Flexo! What are you doing in a hazardous waste bin?
:'''Flexo''': Didn't you hear? Us bending units are dangerously outdated. We overheat, we're radioactive, we cause erectile dysfun...''[Bender closes bin]''
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Who are you talking to?
:'''Bender''': No one. Your momma. Shut up. Take your pick.
{{line}}

:'''Scoop Chang''': Isn't all this e-waste dangerous?
:'''Mayor Poopenmeyer''': Not at all, Scoop! Not after it's hauled off to the Third World by a team of expendable, minimum wage nobodies!
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': ''[Turns to the crew.]'' Good news, nobodies!
{{line}}
:'''Fry''': That was low, Bender, even by your standards. 
:'''Bender''': My what, now? 
:'''Fry''': Since when is the Internet about robbing people of their privacy? 
:'''Bender''': [[w:World_Wide_Web|August 6, 1991]].

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': I feel like a mindless zombie. I wish I knew how long we've been waiting. 
:'''Dr. Ben Beeler''': The new eyePhone has an app for that! 
:'''Bender''': Does it have an app for kissing my shiny metal ass? 
:'''Dr. Ben Beeler''': Several!

{{line}}
:'''Infosiquito''': This guy sure loves porno!

=== ''[[w:Proposition Infinity|Proposition Infinity]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': When the lights go out, it's nobody's business what goes on between two consenting adults.
:'''[[w:Doctor Zoidberg|Zoidberg]]''': Or one!

{{line}}
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in Futurama#Reverand Lionel Preacherbot|Reverand Lionel Preacherbot]]''': The only lies worth believing are the ones in the [[w:Bible|Bible]].

{{line}}
:''' [[w:Hubert J. Farnsworth|Prof. Farnsworth]]''': Back when I was full of piss and vinegar and my bed wasn't, I fell in love with the sweetest girl ever to skip though a field of posies.

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': Ladies and gentlemen of the jury... Oops! Sorry, force of habit. I support this proposition because I'm in love with a goopy, flesh-and-blood woman, and not surprisingly, she loves me. This is a simple matter of justice, which I'm not normally for. So please, vote yes. After all, our love isn't any different than yours, except it's hotter, 'cause I'm involved.
:'''George Takei's Head''': I haven't heard a speech this eloquent since Bill Shatner told me why he couldn't pay me back.

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': We're gonna fight to legalize it right here! 
:'''Hermes''': Ya mon! Ya got to legalize [[w:cannabis (drug)|it]]! 
:'''Amy''': We're talking about robosexual marriage. 
:'''Hermes''': We're talking about lots of stuff.

{{line}}
:'''Amy''': Why do you have to be so mean to me? 
:'''Bender''': Shut up, baby. You love it. 
:'''Amy''': Don't tell me to shut up! You know what happened to the last guy that told me to shut up? 
:'''Bender''': What? 
:''[Cut to Amy and Bender in bed]'' 
:'''Amy''': That was great. 
:'''Bender''': Shut up.

{{line}}
:'''Linda''': In a stunning turnout, voters have approved Proposition Infinity. Robosexual marriage is now legal.
:'''Morbo''': What's next? ''Gay'' robosexual marriage?!

=== ''[[w:The Duh-Vinci Code|The Duh-Vinci Code]]'' ===
:'''Fry''': Hey, I’m beginning to think you guys don’t think I’m very smart.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': You can barely remember your own name, Einstein.
:'''Fry''': Einstein is a hard name to remember!
:''[The Professor sighs, and pokes Fry in the eyes with a double fing-longer.]''
:'''Fry''': Ow!
:'''Amy''': Shmesh, Professor. Don't have a shmaneurism. Fry’s your distant relative.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Not distant enough! I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if I’m this monkey’s nephew.
:'''Fry''': But you’re my only family. Who will hug me if I achieve something?
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Oh, perhaps I’ve been too harsh. Come, lad, take my hand and I’ll explain why I find you so repugnant.

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': I was in the hospital two weeks. No one visited me.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Quiet, you. I’m trying to deduce the function of Da Vinci’s lost invention.
:'''Fry''': Not even a card.

{{line}}
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': My God! This is the greatest mystery in history. We must go to Rome and exhume the body of Saint James. 
:'''Hermes''': Didn't we used to be a delivery company? 
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': To the ship!

{{line}}
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': My God! DaVinci's Vitruvian Man! 
:'''Fry''': It's truly a masterpiece. Note how the perspective lines draw the eye right to his dong.

{{line}}
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': I hate these nerds. Just because I'm stupider than them they think they're smarter than me.

=== ''[[w:Lethal Inspection|Lethal Inspection]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender (Futurama)|Bender]]''': Dying sucks butt. How do you living beings cope with mortality?
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Violent outbursts.
:'''[[w:Amy Wong|Amy]]''': General sluttiness.
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': Anything less than immortality is a complete waste of time!

{{line}}
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Oh, I fear I may not survive this war re-enactment. I can’t believe we’re only 12 feet from the parking lot.
:'''Fry''': ''[Laughing.]'' This is every bit as fun as the real civil war.
:'''Leela''': Not the Civil War, private. We’re re-enacting the Sith-il War.
:'''Fry''': Sith? What the hoth?

{{line}}
:'''Darth Trocious''': I shall rip out your heart and show it to you! ''[Taps Scruffy with toy lightsaber]'' It is done.
:'''Scruffy''': ''[lies down]'' The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Mmm-hmm.

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': ''[Exits phone booth.]'' Well, things are startin' to look up.
:'''Hermes''': Look up! ''[Missile explodes.]'' Who did you call? Dial-a-bomb?

{{line}}
:'''Hermes''': They have phones in booths now? Finally! I don't have to lug this cell phone around.

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': Aw, shoot!
:'''Killbot 1''': Someone said &quot;shoot!&quot;
:''[Killbots 1 and 3 shoot at Killbot 2 and 2 explodes]''
{{line}}
:'''Killbot 1''': We're gonna get fired.
:'''Killbot 2''': Someone said &quot;fire!&quot;
:''[Gunfire kills killbot 1 then killbot 2 is killed by the tunnel.]''

{{line}}
:'''Killbot 2''': Cease fire. Mom called off the attack, although I don't see how it's her-
:'''Killbot 3''': Someone said &quot;howitzer!&quot;
:''[Killbots 1 and 3 start firing on the middle killbot, eventually blowing themselves up.]''

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': His ass-ias is gracias.

{{line}}
:'''Hermes''': Leela! What in the name of Jah happened?
:'''Leela''': Too much papers! Not enough hiding plants!

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': If you were really dead you wouldn’t be laughing so hard.
:'''Bender''': Yeah, yeah. Death’s a big deal to you fleshbags. But in case you didn’t notice, I’m a robot.
:'''Fry''': So? What if something heavy fell on you? Like a church? You could still die.
:'''Bender''': Nuh uh! My wireless backup unit saves a copy of me every day. So, if my body gets killed, big whoop. I just download into another body. I’m immortal, baby.
:'''Amy''': What? Then how come you always scream so much when you’re in danger?
:'''Bender''': I never said I wasn’t a drama queen.

=== ''[[w:The Late Philip J. Fry|The Late Philip J. Fry]]'' ===

:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in Futurama#Elzar|Elzar]]''': Weren't you the loser who got stood up at my other restaurant?
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Shut up and bring me two dinners!

{{line}}
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Hey, uh... What was the purpose of life, anyway?
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': Who knows?  Probably some hogwash about the human spirit.
:'''[[w:Bender (Futurama)|Bender]]''': Mm-hm.
:'''Fry''': Sounds about right.

{{line}}
:'''Farnsworth''': You were late this morning. So you'll have to stay and test my latest invention.
:''[They walk over to a giant sheet covering something. He reveals a time travelling machine.]''
:'''Farnsworth''': Behold! A time travelling machine! 
:''[Fry and Bender gasp.]''
:'''Bender''': Time? I can't go back there!
:'''Farnsworth''': Ah, but this time machine only goes forward in time. That way you can't accidentally change history. Or do something disgusting like sleep with your own grandmother. 
:'''Fry''': I wouldn't wanna do that again.

{{line}}
:'''Hedonism bot''': Everywhere I looked there were piles of bodies. And then the explosion struck.

{{line}}
:'''Farnsworth''': I got a feeling this could be exactly the point in time we've been looking for.
:''[This future is entirely covered in a dead desert, covering as far as the eyes can see.]''
:'''Farnsworth''': Nope.
:''[Farnsworth takes up a device that scans the area and turns up an X on its screen and buzzes.]'' 
:'''Farnsworth''': In fact, all life is extinct.

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': All in all, I had a pretty sweet life. How about we grab a six pack and watch the universe end.
:'''Bender''': That's what I basically do everyday.

{{line}}
:'''In The year 252525''':
:In the year 105105,
:If man is still alive,
:If robot can survive,
:They may find...
:In the year 252525,
:The backwards time machine still won't have arrived.
:In all the world, there's only one technology,
:A rusty sword for practicing proctology!
:In a future year that ends with a twenty (351120),
:A shlubby merman's gonna try to get chummy.
:He may look like a watery wimp,
:When in fact he's a bloodthirsty shrimp!
:In the year 1000000&amp;1/2,
:Humankind is enslaved by giraffe.
:Man must pay for all his misdeeds,
:When the treetops are stripped of their leaves!
:Whoa-oh!

{{line}}
:'''Leela''': I have to admit, I was afraid you wouldn't make it. 
:'''Fry''': That was the old Fry. He's dead now.

=== ''[[w:That Darn Katz!|That Darn Katz!]]'' ===

:'''Professor Katz''': We shall now vote &quot;yea&quot; or &quot;nay&quot;. Nay.
:'''Wernstrom''': Nay!
:'''Ethan &quot;Bubblegum&quot; Tate''': Hell nay!
:'''Professor Fisherprice Shpeekenshpell''': The horse says: &quot;doctorate denied&quot;.

{{line}}
:'''Calculon''': Catastrophe Beach Party – scene one. Cue disaster effects and, action!
:''[the entire studio gets flies through the air. The walls of the building fly off and the letters to the Hollywood Sign follow. A man screams while shooting away]''
:'''Calculon''': Cut! That extra looked at the camera; we'll have to do it again.

{{line}}
:'''Announcer''': Cash, cash, cash! Too many bones and not enough cash? Sell your extra bones for cash! Ribs, skulls, spines, even certain little ear bones! The leg bone's connected to the... Cash Bone! 

{{line}}
:'''Leela''': ''[Dresses cat in Nibbler's sailor suit]'' Admiral Cutiepaws reporting for duty... I mean, cutie!
:'''Nibbler''': My best friend died in that uniform.

{{line}}
:'''Nibbler''': Can we at least know what you're doing down there?
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': We're certainly not building anything sinster, if that's what you mean. Come on, Bender. Something sinister won't build itself. 

{{line}}
:'''Amy''': Professor Katz's last name is Katz. You think he has something to do with all these cats?
:'''Nibbler''': The conclusion is as inescapable as it is moronic. It's time we paid him a visit. ''[Hands Amy a pistol]'' And if he won't listen to us, perhaps he'll listen to Smith &amp; Wesson. ''[Picks up large plasma cannon]'' Or perhaps Consolidated Headmelter. 

{{line}}
:'''Amy''': So you call my thesis a fat sack of barf and then stole it?
:'''Professor Katz''': Welcome to academia. 

{{line}}
:'''Amy''': I'm finally done with school! How's the job market?
:'''Professor Fisherprice Shpeekenshpell''': ''[Pointer lands on &quot;dog&quot;]'' Ruff! 

{{line}}
:'''Amy''': Core magnetic field, 31 microteslas.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Nice.
:'''Amy''': Temperature? Woah! The magma P.I. is 10,000 degrees Selleck!

{{line}}
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': You've got a bright future, Amy. As sure as the Sun sets in the east.

{{line}}
:'''Nibbler''': Leela, it’s time you and I had a talk.
:'''Leela''': A talk? You can’t break up with me! You’re my pet!

=== ''[[w:A Clockwork Origin|A Clockwork Origin]]'' ===
:'''Ben Beeler''': Tonight, we have a new resident here in the hall of Hominids, generously donated by its discoverer, Hubert Farnsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, ''Homo farnsworth''.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Once again, science saves the day. The end.
:'''Ben Beeler''': And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo!
:''[Farnsworth spits out his drink]''
:'''Dr Banjo''': Thank you Professor Farnsworth, for your generous gift, which has, once and for all dis-proven evolution.
:''[Banjo pulls a cord and a painting of Homo farnsworth riding a dinosaur is revealed.]'' Behold! Homo farnsworth frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation.
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Prof. Farnsworth]]''': I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

{{line}}
:'''Zoidberg''': Don't worry, I know how to handle bullies, just pretend like you're pathetic. ''[Brett Blob comes towards him and Cubert]'' Help! I'm scared. I wet myself, I'm crying like a baby and I'm soaking in pee. But what else is new! 
:'''Brett Blob''': Hahaha the pee babies peed themselves! I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads.

{{line}}
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': As a professor of science, I assure you we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men.

{{line}}
:'''Hermes''': And here's something. ''[Finds a fossilized dog]'' Uh-oh, it's another one of Fry's dogs.
:'''Fry''': Did you say something, Hermes?
:'''Hermes''': Nothing.

{{line}}
:''[Zoidberg and Cubert are standing near the fossil of a long-necked reptile.]''
:'''Zoidberg''': Look, Cubert. The neck on this one. I bet he spent a fortune on ties! What, too soon?
:'''Cubert''': I highly doubt a Jurassic Elaphrosaurus has access to neckwear.
:'''Zoidberg''': I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke.

{{line}}
:'''Leela''': Okay, we've got shelter and just enough precious food to ward off starvation.
:'''Hermes''': It's pizza time. ''[passes boxes to the rest of the crew.]''
:'''Amy''': Ugh, pineapple?
:''[Everyone makes disgusted noises]''
:'''Hermes''': So much for that.

=== ''[[w:The Prisoner of Benda|The Prisoner of Benda]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Amy Wong|Amy]]''': ''[in Farnsworth's body]'' Oh no! Can we switch back using four or more bodies?
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': ''[in Bender's body]'' I'm not sure. I'm afraid we need to use... MATH.

{{line}}
:'''Linda''': Tonight at 11...
:'''Morbo''': ''DOOOOOOOOOOOOM!''

{{line}}
:''[Washbucket, in Amy's body, appears at the door dressed in sexy lingerie]''
:'''[[w:List of recurring characters in Futurama#Scruffy|Scruffy]]''': Ms Wong?
:'''Washbucket''': No, Scruffy, I am Washbucket. I love you. Washbucket has always loved you!
:''[Scruffy and Washbucket kiss, but Scruffy pulls away.]''
:'''Scruffy''': It's wrong, Washbucket. Oh, it would be sweet for a while. But in the back of our minds we'd know that I'm a man, and you're janitorial equipment.
:'''Washbucket''': In another city, we could be anyone we want.
:'''Scruffy''': Go. Go now, before I beg you to stay!
:''[Washbucket leaves]''
:'''Scruffy''': ''[Sobs, then suddenly stops]'' Ayup.

{{line}}
:'''Amy''': I wasted my youth porking out.
:'''Farnsworth''': Yes, I remember. ''[He points to a picture of a fat Amy, captioned &quot;2997 employee of the year&quot;.]''
:'''Amy''': Would you please take that down? It's making me hungry. 

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': So Leela's all crotchety because she thinks I don't like her in the Professor's disgusting body.
:'''Hermes''': You do, don't you?
:'''Fry''': Of course, but I was willing to lie about it. What more can a man do?
:'''Hermes''': You could switch your mind into a gross, disgusting body, give her a toke of her own medicine.
:'''Fry''': Of course! But it would have to be a really disgusting body.
:'''Zoidberg''': Friends, look! I have barnacles in my tuchus! ''[Opens his trousers to reveal barnacles on his buttocks]''
:'''Hermes''': ''[to Fry]'' The long search is over. 

{{line}}
:'''Hermes''': Sweet orca of Majorca! You make Fat Albert look like Normal Albert! 

{{line}}
:''[Leela, in Farnsworth's body, and Fry, in Zoidberg's body, dine at Elzar's]''
:'''Leela''': Oh, did my bodily infirmity embarrass you?
:'''Fry''': Not at all. It's just another thing that makes you a very special lady.
:'''Leela''': You mean, like my penis?

=== ''[[w:Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences|Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Ndnd|Ndnd]]''': I demand the ancient ritual of Rrmmr-mr-fr-mrh or consequences!
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Rrmmr-mr-fr-mrh or what?!

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': I don't want my comic picked apart by nerds. I'm taking it to a comic book convention. 

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': So? What do you think of my comic?
:'''Bender''': Let me put it like this: After I leave here, I'm getting a memory enema. 

{{line}}
:'''Matt Groening's Head''': I'm sure you're all excited to see the pilot for our new show.
:'''David X. Cohen's Head''': It's called Futurella. It takes place in the year 4000.
:''[Clip begins; suddenly a CANCELLED title card appears]''
:'''Matt Groening's Head''': Boy, Fox has really streamlined the process.

{{line}}
:'''Robot Moderator''': Mr. Groening will now take questions. But, please, about ''Futurella'' and not ''The Simpsons''. Yes, the robot standing on the small child?
:'''Bender''': I have a question! When are you going to make a second ''Simpson's Movie''?
:''[Matt Groening's nameplate opens and fires a laser at Bender.]''

{{line}}
:'''Lrrr''': I don’t understand. Why are the humans still eating their soft pretzels instead of surrendering?
:'''Leela''': They’re probably just waiting for Joss Whedon.
:'''Lrrr''': Joss Whedon’s here? Wait a minute, you look familiar.
:'''Leela''': Yeah. You almost ate me once. I was in your mouth for five minutes.
:'''Lrrr''': Leela?

{{line}}
:''[Grrrl unzips herself, revealing herself to be a human woman]''
:'''Lrrr''': ''[shocked and confused]'' You're a human?
:'''Grrrl''': Only physically. I'm a cross-species dresser. Wait... You're an actual Omicronian?
:'''Lrrr''': ''[panicking]'' Oh, god. Oh, god, what have I done?
:'''Grrrl''': This is so hot! Conquer me, Lrrr! ''[She suggestively feels Lrrr's arm, then her thighs]'' Sharpen your horns on my scaly thorax!
:''[She looks lustfully at Lrrr, then launches herself at him. The Omicronian ruler screams]''

=== ''[[w:The Mutants Are Revolting|The Mutants Are Revolting]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': This calls for a party, baby! I'm ordering a hundred kegs, a hundred hookers, and a hundred Elvis impersonators who aren't above a little hooking, should the occasion arise!

{{line}}
:'''Mutated [[w:Mark Mothersbaugh|Mark Mothersbaugh]]''': Hello, Sewer City! As long-time mutants ourselves, we support your righteous struggle, and will do anything we can for you.
:'''Dwayne''': Play &quot;Whip It&quot;!
:'''Mutated Mark Mothersbaugh''': No. ''[to a band member]'' Play the other one. 

{{line}}
:'''Mrs. Astor''': A Farnsworth, you say? Well, if I'm not mistaken, the Farnsworths have been in New New York for almost two hundred years.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Yes, I have.
:'''Fry''': And I'm his uncle!
:'''Mrs. Astor''': How charmingly unconventional.
:'''Fry''': I can eat a hot dog underwater!

{{line}}
:'''Zoidberg''': Hooray! A happy ending for the rich people. 

{{line}}
:'''Dwayne''': Are we not men now?
:'''Mutated Mark Mothersbaugh''': I'm 40% potato, but close enough. 

{{line}}
:'''Leela''': Oh, Mom, Dad, I can't believe I have to spend the rest of my life in this hellhole. ''[She pauses as her parents look shocked.]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Turanga Munda''': It's okay, sweetie. Now that you're here, this hellhole feels more like a nice, regular hole.
:'''Turanga Morris''': What do ya say we go get some sewer coffee, sewer cake, and Safeway ice cream? 

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': I'm so sorry I ratted you out, but, you know, after two weeks down here, I'll truly understand the plight of the mutant people.
:'''Leela''': How dare you? You wanna understand something? Look at that lake. One dip in that toxic muck and your DNA will be permanently mutated. You'll grow a camel hump, or a Zoidberg face!
:'''Zoidberg''': ''(freaked-out)'' Urgh!
:'''Leela''': You want to know what it's like to be a mutant? Jump in and go for a swim.
:'''Fry''': I would, but I just ate a bunch of potato salad, so...
:'''Leela''': Yeah. That's what I thought. You are all surface.

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': ''(to his party guests)'' GET OUT! GET OUT! IT'S NOT FUN ANYMORE! I WANT TO BE ALONE!
:'''Hedonismbot''': Alone with ''meeeeeee?''
:'''Bender''': I SAID &quot;SCRAM&quot;, GRAPEY!

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': What goes DOWN, must back UP!

=== ''[[w:The Futurama Holiday Spectacular|The Futurama Holiday Spectacular]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Amy Wong|Amy]]''': Something's wrong. It's way too quiet.
:'''[[w:Phillip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Like the deadly [[w:Toyota Prius|Prius]].

{{line}}
:'''Amy''': Oh no! This could be the year without a Kwanza, like every year before 1966.

{{line}}
:'''[[w:Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor]]''': We have only one hope left, and as usual, it's Norwegian!

{{line}}
:'''[[Bender (Futurama)|Bender]]''': You know, I don't recall having done anything in a while, but I still feel I deserve a smoke.

{{line}}
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Good news! All these pine trees are fighting global warming by producing oxygen. Happy now, Gore?
:'''Al Gore's Head''': Yeah. But I'd be happier if I had a set of lungs. 

{{line}}
:'''Zoidberg''': What's that loud, boring sound you'll hear when I stop talking?
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': ''[gasps]'' It's an albino humping worm!
:'''Fry''': Why do they call it that?
:''[The ship begins to rock back and forth]''
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Because it doesn't have any pigment. 

{{line}}
:'''Al Gore's Head''': Don't worry, the Futurama crew will be back next year with new episodes, starring Bender, Leela, and me, Al Gore, as Captain Lance Starman.

{{line}}
:'''Richard Nixon's Head''': That's what my poll numbers need: Happy voters enjoying some holiday cheer.
:'''Dick Cheney's Head''': As your Vice President, I order you to steal that tree.

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': Do you not give a damn about the hallowed traditions of Robanukah?!
:'''Hoschel''': I reckon I do not. Anyways, Earth done run out of petroleum oil.
:'''Al Gore's Head''': I tried to warn you. ''[to Hoschel]'' One unit of free limitless solar power please.
:''[Hoschel steps out of the sun. He smiles when it reaches full power.]''
:'''Hoschel''': That'll be... I dunno... ten bucks?
:'''Al Gore's Head''': Um, can you make change for a Nobel Prize?

{{line}}
:'''Fry''': Can someone please explain how you celebrate this crazy holiday? Preferably in song?
:'''Robot Santa''': ''[singing]'' It's the violentest season of the year.
:'''Elf''': Old Kringle-bot has come to spread some mugs of Xmas fear.
:'''Robot Santa''': Sugar-plummy visions will be dancing in your head
:When I cane you from the comfort of my sled.
:'''Leela''': On Xmas Eve, we don our gay apparel,
:Kevlar vests, asbestos stockings and a barrel.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth'''': And if Grandma's Xmas fruitcake finally reaches critical mass,
:It can be re-gifted straight to Santa's ass.
:'''Robot Santa''': But the ornamental armaments are merely superficial,
:The tinsel and the trappings are just icing on the missile.
:The one thing that you need to make your Xmas day splendiferous
:Is a pine tree; a pine tree that's coniferous.
:'''Planet Express crew''': We have to have a pine tree as coniferous.
:'''Robot Santa''': ''[flies away]'' You're welcome. 

{{line}}
:'''Bender''': I've placed instruments under your seats. Play 'em or I'll break 'em over your heads!
:''[Fry gets out a holophonor; the Professor, a fiddle; and Dr. Zoidberg, an accordion, and start playing klezmer music.]''
:'''Bender'''': ''[singing]'' Robanukah may sound as if it's Jewish,
:But its ancient sounding customs are exceptionally newish.
:So take a hearty swallow from your robo-kiddish cup,
:Which will give me time to quickly make them up.
:'''Hermes''': Do you spin a dreidel made from clay?
:'''Bender'''': Mine is called a droidel and it's rigged to make you pay.
:'''Amy''': Do you eat these yummy tin-wrapped chocolate coins?
:'''Bender'''': Better!
:We got fembots with illegal five-speed groins!
:Shalom, Ruth and Esther!
:'''Ruth''': Why with the music so loud?
:'''Esther''': Would it kill him to turn up the heat a little in here?
:'''Bender'''': But by far the most important thing is oil.
:'''Leela''': To keep the lamp light burning or to help the latkes broil?
:'''Bender'''': No, we pour the holy lubricant out from the sacred vessel
:Into this blessed pit so they can wrestle.
:'''Planet Express crew''': The extra made-up touch that makes Robanukah so special
:Is the oil in which the nasty fembots wrestle. 

{{line}}
:''[Hermes and LaBarbara provide backup on kalimba and drum respectively.]''
:'''Kwanzaa-bot''': The seven basic principles that go to make up Kwanzaa!
:So sit yo' asses down and have some knowledge dropped upons ya!
:'''LaBarbara''': Kujichagulia...
:'''Barbados Slim and Bubblegum Tate''': And umoja...
:'''Hermes''': And the rest.
:'''Planet Express crew''': Now we get it!
:'''Kwanzaa-bot''': Sit back down! There's gonna be a test.
:My favorite's ujamaa.
:'''Bubblegum Tate''': Cooperative economics.
:'''Kwanzaa-bot''': ''[to Dwight]'' Yo, boondocks, I'm talkin' here! Put away the comics!
:Ku'umba is another one, it stands for creativity.
:'''Barbados Slim''': Like the ever-changing nature of my sexual proclivities. ''[starts coming on to Zoidberg]''
:'''Kwanzaa-bot''': I think there's one called &quot;nia,&quot; but I don't speak Swahili,
:Sumthin' 'bout a pine tree and a oil-wrestlin' dealy?
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': That's from Xmas and Robanukah, you plagiarizing lout!
:'''Kwanzaa-bot''': Yeah, I'm kinda losin' interest here. I'd best be rollin' out.
:But before I go, the most important thing...
:'''Dwight''': What's that, Black Santa?
:'''Kwanzaa-bot''': You need seven Kwanzaa candles that you light up every night.
:But they best be made of beeswax or y'all might as well be white.
:'''Planet Express crew''': ''[writing on notepads]'' They must be made of beeswax or we might as well be white.

==Part 2==
=== ''[[w:Neutopia (Futurama)|Neutopia]]'' ===
:'''Amy''': It would've been nice to shop at [[w:Tommy Hilfiger Corporation|Tommy Hilfiger]] one last time.
:'''Hattie''': It wasn't Tommy Hilfi-gigger. It was Linens 'n' Things!
:'''Petunia''': The hell it was! It was a [[w:Juicy Couture|Juicy Couture]]!
:'''Leela''': I guess we all saw what we wanted to see.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Wait. Why didn't that hurt? ''[stretches pants to check]'' '''''Aggghhh!''''' My wing-wang's gone!
:'''Leela''': My girls!
:'''Bender''': My antenna!
:'''Hattie''': My kajigger!
:'''Zoidberg''': My gonopores!
:''[slight pause in compilcation]''
:'''Zoidberg''': [[w:gonopore|Look it up.]]

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': Give us back our genitals!
:'''Rock Alien''': Is that you, Borax Kid? I've got your fifty bucks. Oh, it's you. Why do you want your genders? You seem happier without them.
:'''LaBarbara''': Being human's not about being happy, it's about loving and fighting and that Rasta McNasty we were doing last night, ha ha. We want that back!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Never bet against me being stupid!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela''': Well, it was a lot of hard work, but it beats posing in skimpy, demeaning outfits.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Here are your skimpy, demeaning stewardress uniforms.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hermes''': Mmm, you're cooking me back fat bacon.
:'''LaBarbara''': That's not back fat bacon! That's your back fat bakin'!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': I got your distress call and came here as soon as I wanted to. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hermes''': I've found a loophole. It says here that we can renew the mortgage for the building by actually paying it. All we need is... $11,000,000.
:'''Bender''': Aaand boned.

=== ''[[w:Benderama|Benderama]]'' ===
:'''Linda''': Hey you! Good evening. Who you calling drunk? You're not drunk, I'm drunk!
:'''Morbo''': Tha's right Linda. Water is n... now booze and everyone's... titty much protally fitshaced.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Morbo''': Our top story: All alcohol on Earth has mysteriously disappeared. Consequences are minimal, except among the most hardened alcoholics. Linda?
:'''Linda''': I can no longer face my children!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hermes''': You wanna see a picture of my boy?
:'''Zoidberg''': Sure. ''[Hermes presents photo]'' That's your penis!
:'''Hermes''': That's my boy!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amy''': This chair is so comfortable. ''[She throws up]''
:'''Bender''': Heh, heh. Classic Amy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hermes''': You'll have to be respectful. This customer is fifty-feet tall and sensitive about his appearance.
:'''Amy''': Colossal tooth whitener, mega deodorant, humongous acne cream... Aw, and one regular-sized condom.
:'''Bender''': All that ''and'' a small wiener? This guy's got it goin' on. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Oh, God. We've opened Pandora's fly. They'll reproduce without limit, consuming all the matter in the world!
:'''Fry''': Like the Kardashians! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Bad news, everyone! Look at this infinite series representing the mass of successive generations of Benders.
:''[A hologram of equation appear, everyone gasps in horror except Fry]''
:'''Fry''': Don't wait for me.
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': It's nonconvergent!
:'''Fry''': ''[alarmed]'' Oh, dip! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Unattractive Giant Monster''': All I wanted was to apologize to you people! But now I have to kill you!
:'''Bender''': How, by making me look at you?
:'''Unattractive Giant Monster''': No, by making you look at... my momma! ''[Shows picture to Bender, who recoils in horror]''
:'''Bender''': Augh! Your momma's so ugly!
:'''Unattractive Giant Monster''': I told you not to talk about my momma! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bender''': Legion of Benders, come unto me! We have one thing to do.
:'''Bender clones''': Screw that!
:'''Bender''': Oh, come on, you lazy jerks! If we all pitch in, we each only have to do one-quintillionth of a thing.
:'''Bender clones''': ''[sigh]'' All right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Bender, you duuu.
:'''Bender''': No, ''we'' duuu.

=== ''[[w:Ghost in the Machines|Ghost in the Machines]]'' ===

:'''Hermes''': As you can see, since Bender's death, request to bite one shiny metal ass are down 98%.
:''[Scruffy uses Bender's compartment (with a leg in an arm plate) as a vacuum]''
:'''Hermes''': Do you mind doing that later?
:'''Scruffy''': Bite my shiny metal ass.
:''[the line chart rises]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robot Devil''': You see, Bender, it's simple. You're a ghost!
:'''Bender''': A g-g-g-g-ghost?!
:'''Robot Devil''': No, just the regular kind. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zoidberg''': Hey, look, a fog is rolling in.
:'''Hermes''': No, that's just the Jamaican pride float.
:'''Amy''': Looks like it's speeding up.
:'''Hermes''': Oh, no! It's within munching distance of the Doritos float! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mayor Poopenmeyer''': Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to associate myself with a true hero. Mr. Fry, allow me to present you with the keys to the city. This one's for the deadbolt, this is for the top lock... I think this one's for the knob. The city's in a bad neighborhood. Care to say a few words, son?
:'''Fry''': Uh... Heroes don't do drugs! Except for Drugman, I guess. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hermes''': Last time you went to the suicide booth, you ended up dating it for six months.
:'''Leela''': How ''is'' Lynn, by the way?
:'''Bender''': Livin' in Oregon with her crazy mother!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': All I know is I've got a ghost that needs busting. ''[dials a number.]''
:'''Hermes''': Who you gonna call?
:'''Fry''': Gho— ''[interrupted by a beep.]''
:'''Female voice''': The number you have dialed has been ''lame'' since 1989.

=== ''[[w:Law and Oracle|Law and Oracle]]'' ===
:'''Fry''': Hello. I'd like to enroll in Police Academy.
:'''Officer''': You think you can just waltz in here with no pants and become a cop?
:'''Fry''': That's the plan.
:'''Officer''': I like you, kid. I got no pants on either.
:'''Fry''': I can see that. You're quite a bit taller than me.
:'''Officer''': Welcome to Police Academy. ''[both shake hands]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief O'Manahan''': I'll make it short and sweet, because I'm PMSing like a lumberjack. Police academy is not easy. You're gonna get your boobs scuffed. But if you've got the vulva to stick it out, you ladies will make excellent policemen.
:'''Fry''': Sir, yes, ma'am!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Officer URL''': What's in the box Schrodinger?
:'''Erwin Schrodinger''': A cat, some poison and a caesium atom.
:'''Fry''': The cat, is it alive or dead? Alive or dead!?
:'''Officer URL''': Answer him fool.
:'''Erwin Schrodinger''': It's a superposition of both states until you open it and collapse the wave function.
:'''Fry''': Says you. ''[Fry opens the box and a cat leaps out at him.]''
:'''Officer URL''': There's also a lot of drugs in there.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''URL''': And to think he was only a few days from retirement.
:'''Fry''': What happened to him?
:'''URL''': He decided to take an early retirement

=== ''[[w:The Silence of the Clamps|The Silence of the Clamps]]'' ===
:'''Prosecutor''': Isn't it true, Mr. X, that you are slandering this innocent mafioso to distract from your own felonious past, including the crime you made up yourself called burglararsonlarsony?
:'''Bender''': That's a wholly owned trademark of Rodriguez Crime Concepts Inc.! Besides, I'm not on trial here.  
:'''Judge 724''': That's true. You're on trial in courtroom 3. ''[presses button, wall spins Bender to another courtroom with a female version of 724]''
:'''Judge 802''':  You are charged with two counts of burglararsonlarsony. How do you plead?
:'''Bender''': Not innoguiltycent! ''[reaches, presses button, returning to 724's courtroom]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Clamps''': Hey, scuttle on home. Dis ain't none of your business, slick.
:'''Zoidberg''': My name isn't Slick, it's Zoidberg. JOHN (beep)ing ZOIDBERG!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Billy West''': Sorry mister, but I'm no Bender. I'm just a simple farmer. Name's Billy West.
:'''Fry''': ''[laughs]'' &quot;Billy West&quot;. What a stupid, phony, made up name.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Who likes good news?
:''[the crew raise their hands]''
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Everyone? Then, good news, everyone!

=== ''[[w:Yo Leela Leela|Yo Leela Leela]]'' ===
:'''Warden Vogel''':  Sometimes you gotta choose between eating and reading, so they ate the books.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela as Lady Buggle''': Doingg, don't lick things that don't wanna be licked.
:'''Fry as Doingg''': But how do I know what to lick and what not to lick?
:'''Leela as Lady Buggle''': It's very simple.
:''(Techno music starts playing)''
:'''Leela as Lady Buggle''': ''(singing)'' If it's alive, don't lick it.
:'''Zoidberg as Feffernoose''': ''(also singing)'' Like a horse, a turtle or a cricket.
:'''Bender as Garbly''': I like turtles!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela''': Thanks, guys, but lets realistic. We all know that any TV show that's even slightly good gets cancelled. Sometimes two or three times.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Doingg''': I love eating vegetables. Don't you? They're like crunchy, green water.
:'''Garbly''': I don't like 'em. They're icky-yucky!
:'''Lady Buggle''': Now, now, Garbly, if we don't eat our vegetables, we won't grow big and strong. Like Feffernoose.
:'''Feffernoose''': I have to be big and strong to fight off the monsters. ''(does a spit-take)'' Did somebody say monsters?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lady Buggle''': Oh, hello, Leela. I was just telling my friends how they shouldn't eat food off the floor. Should we sing a song about it?
:'''Fry''': ''(excitedly)'' Yes please!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lady Buggle''': I'm as sad as an upside-down smile.

=== ''[[w:All the Presidents' Heads|All the Presidents' Heads]]'' ===

:'''Hermes''': Well, it's 6o'clock. I guess we'll have to deliver that human heart tomorrow. Good work, people!
:'''Bender''': Woo-hoo! Time to go clubbing! ''[pulls out a baseball bat]'' Baby seals, here I come!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Franklin D. Roosevelt's Head''':  We have nothing to fear but running out of beer.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hermes''': So... You grow hemp?
:'''Thomas Jefferson's head''': Yes.
:'''Hermes''': And... You do what with it?
:'''Thomas Jefferson's head''': All manner of things. Manufacture paper, fabric, rope...
:'''Hermes''': Oh. Well, nice talking to you. ''[goes away.]''
:'''Thomas Jefferson's head''': Why, I used to smoke about four feet of rope a day.
:'''Hermes''': ''[comes back]'' Let me give you my pager number.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Thomas Jefferson''': Alexander Hamilton of New York, how say you?
:'''Alexander Hamilton''': Nay.
:'''Thomas Jefferson''': John Hancock and John Adams of Massachusetts?
:'''John Adams''': Yea.
:'''John Hancock''': Yea.
:'''Thomas Jefferson''': The yeas have it. Our nation's official joke state shall be New Jersey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Fry, you dope! You've really [[w:Roswell That Ends Well|screwed the granny]] this time!

=== ''[[w:Möbius Dick (Futurama)|Möbius Dick]]'' ===
:'''Amy''': Oh no, I'm having a Serengeti Flashback! Die you stinkin' giraffe!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The crew are taken into the fourth dimension by the Space Whale]''
:'''Hermes''': I can see sideways in time! ''[reverse]'' !emit ni syawedis ees nac I
:'''Amy''': Gee, I see CGI! ''[reverse]'' !IGC ees I, eeG
:'''Fry''': Poop! Ha-ha-ha! ''[reverse]'' !ah-ah-ah !pooP
:'''Bender''': Aw, yeah!
:'''Uncountably infinite bunch of Benders''': ''[in a conga line looping around the cockpit]'' ''Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender!''
:''[The whale flies out of the fourth dimension; as the scene goes back inside, we see the bunch of Benders join back into the main Bender]''
:'''Bender''': A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-- Awww! That was the greatest uncountably infinite bunch of guys I ever met.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Leela, I'm no medical expert, but I think you be showing some serious signs of 'illin.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amy''': You've gone from crazy like a fox to crazy like Fox News.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hermes''': Zoidberg was popular?!
:'''Amy''': Zoidberg had hair?!
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': I never said he had hair! If you imagined it that way, that's your business! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela''': Need I remind you that in space, the captain's word is law? I could marry Hermes with Bender against their will if I wanted to.
:'''Hermes''': ''[gasps]'' You wouldn't dare!
:'''Bender''': Eh, I've been married to worse. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amy''': Where are we?
:'''Hermes''': Inside the belly of the beast.
:'''Fry''': Like that guy in the Bible... Pinocchio! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela''': All right, which one of you sea dogs has the guts and know-how to harpoon a whale?
:'''Amy''': I spent a semester in Africa hunting giraffes, and giraffes are basically land space whales.
:'''Leela''': Ms. Wong, you have the 'poon.

=== ''[[w:Fry Am the Egg Man|Fry Am the Egg Man]]'' ===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': ''(after trying some of the Amazonians' maple syrup)'' Ah... that's the kind of sap I like!
:'''Amazonian''': ''You'' the kind of sap ''I'' like.
:'''Fry''': I'm scareoused!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Farnsworth''': You're not my breakfast friends! What are you doing here?!
:'''Amy''': Leela's blackmailing us into eating healthy, organic food.
:'''Farnsworth''': Blackmail? What does she have on you?
:'''Hermes''': As long as we eat her filthy scrambled eggs, you'll never find out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Eating a sweet, innocent chick before it's even hatched? Oh, no, you won't! I refuse to eat an unborn animal. I'm going to keep this egg safe and warm and secure until it hatches out into the world... and THEN I'm going to eat it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Mr. Peppy doesn't eat bones! I raised him on a simple diet of Brussels sprouts and mixed soda.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amy''': Jinkies! He Scooby-Dooed us! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angus McZongo''': May I buy you a drink? We don't get a lot of pretty faces around here.
:'''Leela''': Uh, sure, but I'm driving. I'll just have the smallest whiskey you've got.
:'''Angus McZongo''': A small aquarium of whiskey for the busty lass. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': You can't sit on something for a week without falling in love with it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Mr. Peppy wouldn't hurt your sheep. He's a vegetarian, and he's not even preachy about it. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': You can't just kill somebody because they're ugly and corrosive.
:'''Amy''': That's what we said about Zoidberg, and look where that got us.
:'''Zoidberg''': Amy makes a good point.

=== ''[[w:The Tip of the Zoidberg|The Tip of the Zoidberg]]'' ===

:'''Zoidberg''': Is this one o' those &quot;No means yes&quot; deals?!
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Yes and no.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zoidberg''': I'm afraid Fry lost a lot of juice. He's developed Simpson's Jaundice.
:'''Fry''': ''[with yellow skin]'' Ay, carumba!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zoidberg''': His only hope is some replacement liver. Yours looks like a good match.
:'''Leela''': Well, if it'll help Fry...
:'''Fry''': Careful, Leela. He knows less about human anatomy than I do, and I can't even find my own uterus. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Oh, sure. Leela's fine. But my jaundice has progressed to Muppet Gangrene. It's not easy being gangrenous. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela''': It wasn't unavoidable! You just had to stop cutting my spine when I yelled, &quot;Stop! You're cutting my spine!&quot;
:'''Fry''': Stop complaining. My body rejected your liver and now I have Garfield Syndrome. I hate Mondays. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela''': Once and for all, Fry, even though it's the future, most objects are still just objects. Not Aliens who look like objects.
:'''Fry''': So my efforts to establish diplomatic relations with the cactus people were doomed from the start.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Doctor''': My God. I've never seen such a gruesome shark attack. Especially this far inland.
:'''Leela''': It wasn't a shark. It was an awful, incompetent doctor.
:'''Doctor''': Wow. He must've been a total Zoidberg.

=== ''[[w:Cold Warriors|Cold Warriors]]'' ===
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': We have only one option: Protocol 62.
:'''Richard Nixon's Head''': Not possible. We don't have nearly enough piranhas.
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Then Protocol 63 it is.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zoidberg''': They're flying Manhattan into the sun! They must have been out of piranhas!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yancy, Sr.''': Double time, soldier. I want this ice fishing operation up and running by 0800 hours.
:'''Fry''': ''[shivers]'' It's too cold, Dad. My teen region is freezing off.
:'''Yancy, Sr.''': Pfft! You don't know what cold is. I once survived an entire week trapped in a Swiss glacier eating nothing but frozen Neanderthal. To this day, I can't stand the taste of early hominid. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bender''': I'd be remiss if I didn't rub your goopy noses in the fact that I'm immune. ''[starts laughing]''
:'''Farnsworth''': Which is why we'll all be counting on you, and you alone, to nurse us through this catastrophe.
:'''Bender''': Why, God? Why have I been singled out?!
:'''Fry''': Everyone just calm down and make yourself a tissue walrus.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[flashback to 1988 as the Fry family are enjoying Thanksgiving dinner at Panucci's Pizza]''
:'''Mr. Panucci''': Hey, Barack! Pizza goin' out. Come on!
:'''Barack Obama''': Man, I've got to go back to law school.
:'''Fry''': ''[to Yancy, Jr.]'' Pffft! I'm not gonna wind up a loser like that guy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Linda''': The so-called common cold, introduced by living fossil Phillip J. Fry, is spreading out of control. All citizens are advised to wash their hands thoroughly... after beating up Phillip J. Fry.
:'''Fry''': ''[after he and the others hear this]'' Phew... lucky I'm safely locked-up in here with you guys.
:'''Amy''': ''[pointing at Fry]'' THERE HE IS!
:'''Hermes''': GET HIM!
:''[Hermes, Leela, Amy and Zoidberg start beating up Fry]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[flashback to 1988 where Yancy Sr and Fry are ice fishing in a shack on a frozen lake]''
:'''Yancy Fry Sr''': You still 'aven't thanked me for pullin' you outta the lake, soldier.
:'''Fry''': I could've flip-flopped out.
:'''Yancy Fry Sr''': I know that. Look, son. I know I give you the business sometimes. But, if I'm hard on you, it's only 'cause I want you to grow up strong and resilient. Someday, you may face adversities so preposterous, I can't even conceive of them. But I know you'll pull through and make me proud. I love you, son. Now, bundle up, I don't want you gettin' frozen.

=== ''[[w:Overclockwise|Overclockwise]]'' ===
:'''Cubert''': This may take a while. I've got to adjust the memory timing, raise the CPU voltage, and delete twelve terabytes of outdated catchphrases.
:'''Bender''': Sounds like fun on the bun!
:'''Female voice''': Deleted.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela''': Don't you ever wonder about the future?
:'''Fry''': Well, sure, but you're always in it.
:''[Leela smiles]''
:'''Fry''': Also, sometimes Terminators. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mom''': Farnsworth? What a lucky break, after all these years I've got him, and legally too.
:'''Larry''': Even an idiot like me knows he'll be ruined.
:'''Mom''': An idiot like you is correct! ''[slaps him]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hermes''': Good news, everyone! That's what the Professor would say if he weren't in jail facing a life sentence.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Oh God! I clicked without reading.
:'''Cubert Farnsworth''': And I slightly modified a thing that I own.
:'''Professor Farnsworth''' We're monsters!
:''[Both cry]''

=== ''[[w:Reincarnation (Futurama)|Reincarnation]]'' ===
:'''God Entity''': A wise man once said that nothing really dies. It just comes back in a new form. Then he died. So, next time you see a lowly salamander, think twice before you step on it; it might be you. Stand by for &quot;Reincarnation&quot;.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Movietone News, everyone!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Oh, it's just that I love Leela something awful. Do you think a space dame like her would ever marry a two-bit low-life delivery boy like me? And also, I have bad posture, some severe financial problems?
:'''Bender''': Have you tried gettin' her pregnant?
:'''Fry''': Gosh, yes! I've tried and tried! But, so far, I only got ''Amy'' pregnant. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amy''': Watch it, you stumble bums! You're boopin' my Betty!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela''': Is my eye playing trick on me?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bender''': Th-th-that's all you get, chumps! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': All right, diamond. You won those round, but I have an ace up my hole. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': A guy like me can't afford a diamond ring for a gal like her.
:'''Bender''': That's for sure, not on the measly salary I steal from you every week. ''[takes Fry's wallet]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bender''': Byte my 8 bit metal ass. ''[to Hermes]'' That's byte with a 'Y'.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[while examining a log under a super microscope]''
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Oh my, there's a frog on a bump on this log that I found in a hole at the bottom of the sea.
:'''Leela''': And that's the ultimate secret of the universe?
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Apparently so. Wait! There's a snail on the tail of the frog on the bump on this log that I found in a hole on the bottom of the sea. The snail itself is composed of cells, molecules, atoms...
:'''Fry''': Pfff! Those things don't rhyme!
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Things only rhyme below ten to the minus five angstroms, you dope!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bender''': ''[trying to cheer up the professor]'' Would it cheer you up if I punch Fry in the groin? Cause I'll do it, regardless.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Fry, you idiot, you're a genius!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amy''': You solved the problem that drove Einstein and forced Stephen Hawking to quit physics and become a cartoon voice-actor.
:'''Stephen Hawking's Head''': I like physics, but I love cartoons. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leela''': What is that box, you old witch?
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Ha ha ha ha! I'll never tell you! It's a deep space emotion detector. 
:''[all gasp]''
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': The detector detects that you are impressed. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fry''': Zoidberg, a diplomat? The list of things I've heard now contains everything.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Farnsworth''': All attempts to communicate with the aliens have failed. I fear our only option is thrilling space battle.
:'''Bender/Fry''': Power Friends Go!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zoidberg''': Here my words. My shell may be tough like a samurai honeymoon mask, but inside I'm as soft and sensitive as a girl made of custard.
:'''Cubert''': Custard Time?! Hooray!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Of course! Having no mouths or ears they can only communicate through motions!
:'''Fry''': Or perhaps by odors.
:'''Bender''': That is how you communicate.
:'''Amy/Leela/Fry/Bender/Hermes''': Hahahahahahaha!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bender and Fry''': ''[communicating with the aliens via dance]'' Hey aliens, we will kill you! And dishonor your widows by making them gather wood!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prof. Farnsworth''': Zoidberg, you are the greatest hero. You saved us all.
:'''Zoidberg''': For now. But another threat from the stars is sure to arise ''[mouth stops moving]'' next week at the same time!

==External links==
[[Category:Futurama seasons]]
[[Category:Split television seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>prtl431h0dtufoyahx9neucotzpg8mu</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>177444</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149200</id>
      <parentid>3146494</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:34:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>108.29.85.180</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* I Was a Teenage Gary (13.2) */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="18675" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons: 1''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999–present) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''Help Wanted (1.1)''===
:''[Spongebob arrives at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Permission to come aboard, captain! I've been training my whole life for the day I could finally join the Krusty Krew, ''[normal voice]'' and now I'm ready!
:''[SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling, SpongeBob shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Squidward and Mr. Krabs]''
:'''Spongebob''': So, uh, when do I start?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, lad, it seems like you don't even have your sea legs.
:'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs, please. I'll prove I'm a fry cook. Ask Squidward, He'll vouch for me.
:''[Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob]'' 
:'''Squidward''': ''[deep breath]'' No.

===''Reef Blower (1.2)''===
:''(Non-speaking episode)''
:('''SpongeBob''': ''[to the shell]'' You!)

===''Tea at the Treedome (1.3)''===

:'''Sandy''': All right, you whipper snappers, come and get it! [when she opens her eyes and looks down, she immediately screams and drops her tray, live-action is grass with Sponge and starfish]

==Episode 2==
===''Bubblestand (2.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Now for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. ''[inhales and starts to play his clarinet. The shot changes to SpongeBob still outside. He proceeds to build his bubblestand super fast, making a loud racket. Coming over to the window, to SpongeBob]'' I thought I...! Huh?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[waving]'' Hey, Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents!
:'''Squidward''': Right, like I would ''spend'' a moment of my time...blowing bubbles!

===''Ripped Pants (2.2)''===
:'''Lou''': May I help you?
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll take a banana split.
:'''Lou''': Uh, we don't have that.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's okay. I already &quot;split&quot; my pants. Get it?
:'''Lou''': ''[sarcastically]'' Tee-hee. Anything else?
:'''SpongeBob''': How about...&quot;ripple&quot;? ''[shows the rip in his pants]'' No thanks. Already got one. 

==Episode 3==
===''Jellyfishing (3.1)''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are welcoming Squidward home from the hospital]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Welcome home, Squidward!
:'''Patrick''': Merry Christmas!

===''[[w:Plankton!|Plankton! (3.2)]]''===
:''[While SpongeBob is walking home]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, what are you doing here?
:'''Plankton''': I just want to talk. You could say we're friends, right?
:'''SpongeBob''': Um...no.
:'''Plankton''': Acquaintances?
:'''SpongeBob''': No.
:'''Plankton''': ''[thinks]'' Well, we're both invertebrates, aren't we?
:'''SpongeBob''': I...guess so.
:'''Plankton''': You see? Everything works out.

==Episode 4==
===''Naughty Nautical Neighbors (4.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[sings] Squidward is my best friend in the world... [starts playing the bassinet very badly]&lt;br /&gt;Squidward is my best friend in the sea. [starts playing the bassinet very badly again. He lets go of his bow and the bow flies into a picture of Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': AAH! ''[growls and breaks the bow in half on his knee]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[singing] Squidward– [is playing the bassinet like a guitar]''
:'''Patrick''': ''[poking his head out the window] Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob. [Spongebob slams the window in Patrick's face]'' OOMF!
:'''SpongeBob''': '''''...And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer!''' [hits the bassinet against the floor and it breaks]'' Um...I can fix this.
:''[Squidward growls and kicks SpongeBob out]''
:'''SpongeBob''': So, uh...I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!

===''[[w:Boating School|Boating School (4.2)]]''===
:''[near the end of the driving test]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm cheating, Mrs. Puff! I'm cheating!
:'''Mrs. Puff''': It's okay, SpongeBob! You can cheat! Cheat ''that'' way! ''[points towards the finish line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I'm...cheating!

==Episode 5==
===''[[w:Pizza Delivery (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Pizza Delivery (5.1)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Will you let go of that stupid pizza already?!
:'''SpongeBob''': I can't, it's for the customer!
:'''Squidward''': Who cares about the customer?
:'''SpongeBob''': I do!
:'''Squidward''': Well, I don't!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[wind stops momentarily; gasps]'' Squidward! ''[blown away by the wind]''

===''Home Sweet Pineapple (5.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, is it time already for you to ruin my day?
:'''Patrick''': Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? Don't start without me!

==Episode 6==
===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (6.1)''===
:'''Barnacle Boy''': Time to come out of retirement! There's evil afoot!
:'''Mermaid Man''': EVIL! Where is it?
:'''Barnacle Boy''': ''[points at SpongeBob and Patrick]'' There it is! You know what this means? ''[opens a box containing their rings]''
:'''Mermaid Man:''' Donuts!

===''[[w:Pickles (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Pickles (6.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Let me guess, Tiny. A small salad?
:'''Bubble Bass''': I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, four by four, animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it and let it swim.
:''[Squidward stops writing]''
:'''Squidward''': We serve food here, sir.

==Episode 7==
===''[[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (season 1)#ep7a|Hall Monitor (7.1)]]''===
:''[Mrs. Puff walks over to SpongeBob, who is lying on the ground after the class tramples him while running out the door at the 3:00 bell.]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': SpongeBob, are you okay?
:'''SpongeBob''': I overdid the speech again, didn't I?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': I'm afraid so.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gets up]'' Aw, tartar sauce! I guess I won't be needing this. ''[takes off uniform]'' I hardly knew you. ''[frowns and begins to walk away]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': ''[shows sadness on her face]'' Uh, SpongeBob?
:'''SpongeBob''': Yes, Mrs. Puff?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': I can at least let you wear it until tomorrow.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[flies back into the uniform with a shout of joy]'' Thanks, Mrs. Puff! ''[walks away]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': ''[to herself]'' What are the consequences of what I've just done? ''[sighs to herself, thinking tragic thoughts, as she walks back into her classroom]''

===''Jellyfish Jam (7.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward! Hey, Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! ''[Squidward peeks out his window]'' Squidward! Look at my new pet.
:'''Squidward''': That's no pet, that's a wild animal.
:'''SpongeBob''': No, he isn't. Watch this! ''[throws a stick so the jellyfish returns it. SpongeBob is holding up 3 fingers]'' How many fingers am I holding up?
:'''Jellyfish''': ''[humming]'' 1, 2, 3.
:'''SpongeBob''': Play dead! ''[jellyfish is buried underground with a tomb that says &quot;R.I.P.&quot;. He pops up]''
:'''Squidward''': I wouldn't let that thing into my house even if it was potty trained! ''[the jellyfish, still on the rope, is on a toilet reading a newspaper as he hums casually]'' I didn't need to see that.
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, we're going to my house to have a little fun.
:'''Squidward''': How can you possibly have fun with a jellyfish?!

==Episode 8==
===''Sandy's Rocket (8.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': So, you were an alien all the time, and you didn't even tell me! 
:'''Patrick''': I didn't even know! 
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, I've got you now! 
:'''Patrick''': Oh, but it's not ''you'' that's got me. It's... ''[He fires his pop-gun, but traps himself instead]'' ...''me'' that's got me.

===''[[w:Squeaky Boots|Squeaky Boots (8.2)]]''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's not the boots, it's the bootee! Err, um, the person ''in'' the boots! You're a great fry cook, SpongeBob!
:'''SpongeBob''': You really think so, Mr. Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I do, son. ''[gives SpongeBob money]'' Here's your paycheck, SpongeBob. ''[gives more money]'' Plus, a bonus! ''[takes bonus back]'' Well, there's your paycheck anyway. I need a vacation.

==Episode 9==
===''Nature Pants (9.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[about SpongeBob, who has decided to go live in the wild]'' He took off his pants.
:'''Sandy''': I'll give him a week.
:'''Squidward''': I'll give him 11 minutes.
:'''Patrick''': ''[on the verge of tears]'' ...PATRICK ''SAD!''

===''[[w:Opposite Day (Spongebob SquarePants)|Opposite Day (9.2)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward! I mean, goodbye, Squidward! Isn't Opposite Day...terrible!?!
:'''Squidward''': ''[from his house]'' I'll tell you what's terrible...living next to you! You're the worst neighbor in history!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow, that's the nicest thing Squidward's ever said to me!

==Episode 10==
===''Culture Shock (10.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Good evening and welcome to the first annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show, sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, because no one else would give it a home. ''[Patrick bursts out laughing]''

===''F.U.N (10.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Maybe the lad was right. Maybe Plankton's gone straight. ''[notices the Krabby Patty on the table is a cardboard prop]'' And maybe scallops will fly out of me pants! ''[jumps into the boat that serves as the cash register stand, takes a pair of oars, and starts rowing it]'' Hang on, lad, I'm a-comin'!

==Episode 11==
===''MuscleBob BuffPants (11.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': This &quot;working out&quot; thing isn't working out.

===''Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost (11.2)''===
:'''Squidward's &quot;Ghost&quot;''': SpongeBob, I have a confession to make. ''[takes off towel from his head]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' You're...bald?!
:'''Squidward''': No, I'm not bald! I'm alive!

==Episode 12==
===[[w:The Chaperone (SpongeBob SquarePants)|''The Chaperone'' (12.1)]]===
:'''Pearl''': ''[walks up outside the ladies restroom]'' Sponge, are you okay?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' Messed everything up.
:'''Pearl''': Don't worry SpongeBob, ya didn't mess everything up.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' Hot dog.
:'''Pearl''': Actually, it was pretty funny when that hot dog landed in Judy's hair.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' All I wanted was to have a good time.
:'''Pearl''': But I ''am'' having a good time! You know, we haven't finished our dance yet.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[whimpers]'' Can I still wear the wig?
:'''Pearl''': Yes, you can still wear the wig.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[runs out and grabs Pearl to the dance floor]'' Let's go!

===''Employee of the Month (12.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Do you know what today is?
:'''Squidward''': Annoy Squidward Day?
:'''SpongeBob''': No, silly! ''[gets out a calendar]'' That's on the 15th! ''[points to a picture of Squidward's head on the calendar]''. 

==Episode 13==
===''[[w:Scaredy Pants|Scaredy Pants (13.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after the Flying Dutchman runs away in fear, SpongeBob is shown entirely shaved, exposing his brain]'' Hey! What do you know? I scared him! ''[laughs]''
:''[Everyone else runs out of the Krusty Krab, screaming]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[walking outside with Patrick]'' It worked, Patrick! I scared everybody!
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess it was your pink hat.
:'''SpongeBob''': Pink hat? Oh, that's not a hat, that's my brain.
:'''Patrick''': Oh... ''[runs away screaming]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, it grows back!

===''[[w:I Was a Teenage Gary|I Was a Teenage Gary (13.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[to SpongeBob]'' Would you ''please'' stop leaving your undergarments on my front lawn? 

I take it back, Gary. Something is wrong with meeee! -Owww.

==Episode 14==
===''SB-129 (14.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[rushed]'' I was in the future and then I was in the past, and there was ''nowhere'', and at last, I'm home, and...you don't know how happy I am to see you guys!
:'''SpongeBob''': Does this mean you wanna go...
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ...jellyfishing?
:'''Squidward''': No! D'oh! Who's the barnaclehead who invented that game anyway?
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''You'' are, Squidward! ''[laughs]''
:'''Squidward''': I'm going back.

===''[[w:Karate Choppers|Karate Choppers (14.2)]]''===
:'''Sandy''': I love karate!
:'''SpongeBob''': I love kare-ah-tay!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I love money-ay!
:'''Squidward''': I hate all of you.

==Episode 15==
===''Sleepy Time (15.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Does anyone have a quarter?

===''Suds (15.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, I'm sick. Can you escort me to the doctor's?
:'''Sandy''': Sure, SpongeBob. I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August!

==Episode 16==
===''Valentine's Day (16.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Heart on stick must DIE! ''[goes to the pole and tries to pick it up; gives up eventually in tiredness; Patrick sees a little girl eating a heart-shaped lollipop]'' Heart on stick must DIE! ''[grabs it, breaks it, and stuffs it in his mouth]''

===''The Paper (16.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Well, you can't play music with a piece of paper! ''[plays 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' off-key. Little black musical note symbols fall out of the clarinet]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[applauding]'' Hooray! Hooray! That was great, Squidward! All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original!
:'''Squidward''': What? I didn't play any wrong notes! ''[plays the song off-key again]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, see, you're playing it like this... ''[plays his piece of paper as the clarinet with the note symbols coming out]'' ...When ordinarily it goes like this. ''[plays the song on-key]'' I'm partial to doing it in the key of A-minor myself. ''[plays the song in high notes. A music sheet appears]'' Ah, nothing like a duet between buddies, eh, Squidward?

==Episode 17==
===''Arrgh! (17.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': If I don't make any money today, I'll surely break out in a rash!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[offscreen]'' Yipee! I'm rich, Patrick, look! Eight gold doubloons!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! I saw it first! ''[leaps through the air and lands on the table where SpongeBob and Patrick are playing a game]'' Mine! Mine! ''[realizing]'' Huh?
:'''SpongeBob''': Boy, Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty.

===''[[w:Rock Bottom (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Rock Bottom (17.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are stranded in Rock Bottom]''
:'''SpongeBob''': It sure is weird around here. Kind of different. Even the soil looks different. ''[scoops up a handful of soil]''
:'''Soil''': Would you ''[blows raspberry]'' mind ''[blows raspberry]'' putting me down?

==Episode 18==
===''Texas (18.1)''===
:''[After Sandy sings a song about returning to her home, Texas]''
:'''Patrick''': Do you think she knows the [[w:The_Muffin_Man|Muffin Man]] song?
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, she sang that song from her heart. She really misses Texas!
:'''Patrick''': Well! Let's get some Texas and bring it down here!
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, we can't... ''[comes with an idea]'' That's it! Patrick? Your genius is showing!
:'''Patrick''': ''[frantically covers himself]'' Where?!

===''[[w:Walking Small|Walking Small (18.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob sees Plankton sitting on a bench with two ice cream cones, crying]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, what are you doing here...and why are you crying?
:'''Plankton''': ''[tearfully]'' Oh, hi, SpongeBob. ''[blows his nose on a tiny handkerchief]'' I'm crying because I've got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! ''[sobbing]'' I don't know what to do with the other one!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:''[after SpongeBob finds out that Plankton used him for his plan]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You used me...for ''LAND DEVELOPMENT?!''

==Episode 19==
===''[[w:Fools in April|Fools in April (19.1)]]''===
:'''Tom''': Excuse me, can I get a couple of ice cubes in here, please?
:'''SpongeBob''': Sure! A couple of ice cubes coming up! ''[walks off and then returns with the drink]'' Here you go!
:'''Tom''': Thanks. ''[drinks his lemonade, SpongeBob giggling with every sip]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he's finished]'' APRIL FOOLS!
:'''Tom''': What did you do to my drink?!
:'''SpongeBob''': I-- er, I-- er...
:'''Tom''': You WHAT?!
:'''SpongeBob''': You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink...and I only put in one! ''[laughs]''
:'''Tom''': Hey, I guess that is kinda funny! Ha ha... ''[starts mumbling]''

===''Neptune's Spatula (19.II)''===
:'''Neptune''': This accursed stove has burnt my finger. Feel thy own wrath, stove! ''[uses his powers to zap the stove]'' Haha!
:'''SpongeBob''': What did I tell you about using your powers, 'trainee'?
:'''Neptune''': ''[sighs]'' Perfect patties are made with love, not magic.

==Episode 20==
===''Hooky (20.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': The hooks, me bucko! They're back! Beware the hooks!
:'''SpongeBob''': The hooks?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Aye, the hooks! They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and beguiling colors, and just when you think you've found the land of milk and honey, they grab ya by the britches, and haul you way up high, and higher, and HIGHER, AND '''''HIGHER''''', until you're hauled up to the surface, flopping and gasping for breath! And then they cook ya, and then they eat ya...''or worse!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[terrified]'' What could be worse than that?!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[softly]'' Gift shops.

===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II (20.2)''===
:'''Mermaid Man''': ''[about SpongeBob]'' Don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the hero of tomorrow, or the villain.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]] 2003</text>
      <sha1>owt81f0kb2ft8utfl1dgzhej3oabt57</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149201</id>
      <parentid>3149200</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:36:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>108.29.85.180</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Arrgh! (17.1) */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="18759" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons: 1''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999–present) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''Help Wanted (1.1)''===
:''[Spongebob arrives at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Permission to come aboard, captain! I've been training my whole life for the day I could finally join the Krusty Krew, ''[normal voice]'' and now I'm ready!
:''[SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling, SpongeBob shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Squidward and Mr. Krabs]''
:'''Spongebob''': So, uh, when do I start?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, lad, it seems like you don't even have your sea legs.
:'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs, please. I'll prove I'm a fry cook. Ask Squidward, He'll vouch for me.
:''[Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob]'' 
:'''Squidward''': ''[deep breath]'' No.

===''Reef Blower (1.2)''===
:''(Non-speaking episode)''
:('''SpongeBob''': ''[to the shell]'' You!)

===''Tea at the Treedome (1.3)''===

:'''Sandy''': All right, you whipper snappers, come and get it! [when she opens her eyes and looks down, she immediately screams and drops her tray, live-action is grass with Sponge and starfish]

==Episode 2==
===''Bubblestand (2.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Now for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. ''[inhales and starts to play his clarinet. The shot changes to SpongeBob still outside. He proceeds to build his bubblestand super fast, making a loud racket. Coming over to the window, to SpongeBob]'' I thought I...! Huh?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[waving]'' Hey, Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents!
:'''Squidward''': Right, like I would ''spend'' a moment of my time...blowing bubbles!

===''Ripped Pants (2.2)''===
:'''Lou''': May I help you?
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll take a banana split.
:'''Lou''': Uh, we don't have that.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's okay. I already &quot;split&quot; my pants. Get it?
:'''Lou''': ''[sarcastically]'' Tee-hee. Anything else?
:'''SpongeBob''': How about...&quot;ripple&quot;? ''[shows the rip in his pants]'' No thanks. Already got one. 

==Episode 3==
===''Jellyfishing (3.1)''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are welcoming Squidward home from the hospital]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Welcome home, Squidward!
:'''Patrick''': Merry Christmas!

===''[[w:Plankton!|Plankton! (3.2)]]''===
:''[While SpongeBob is walking home]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, what are you doing here?
:'''Plankton''': I just want to talk. You could say we're friends, right?
:'''SpongeBob''': Um...no.
:'''Plankton''': Acquaintances?
:'''SpongeBob''': No.
:'''Plankton''': ''[thinks]'' Well, we're both invertebrates, aren't we?
:'''SpongeBob''': I...guess so.
:'''Plankton''': You see? Everything works out.

==Episode 4==
===''Naughty Nautical Neighbors (4.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[sings] Squidward is my best friend in the world... [starts playing the bassinet very badly]&lt;br /&gt;Squidward is my best friend in the sea. [starts playing the bassinet very badly again. He lets go of his bow and the bow flies into a picture of Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': AAH! ''[growls and breaks the bow in half on his knee]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[singing] Squidward– [is playing the bassinet like a guitar]''
:'''Patrick''': ''[poking his head out the window] Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob. [Spongebob slams the window in Patrick's face]'' OOMF!
:'''SpongeBob''': '''''...And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer!''' [hits the bassinet against the floor and it breaks]'' Um...I can fix this.
:''[Squidward growls and kicks SpongeBob out]''
:'''SpongeBob''': So, uh...I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!

===''[[w:Boating School|Boating School (4.2)]]''===
:''[near the end of the driving test]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm cheating, Mrs. Puff! I'm cheating!
:'''Mrs. Puff''': It's okay, SpongeBob! You can cheat! Cheat ''that'' way! ''[points towards the finish line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I'm...cheating!

==Episode 5==
===''[[w:Pizza Delivery (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Pizza Delivery (5.1)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Will you let go of that stupid pizza already?!
:'''SpongeBob''': I can't, it's for the customer!
:'''Squidward''': Who cares about the customer?
:'''SpongeBob''': I do!
:'''Squidward''': Well, I don't!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[wind stops momentarily; gasps]'' Squidward! ''[blown away by the wind]''

===''Home Sweet Pineapple (5.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, is it time already for you to ruin my day?
:'''Patrick''': Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? Don't start without me!

==Episode 6==
===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (6.1)''===
:'''Barnacle Boy''': Time to come out of retirement! There's evil afoot!
:'''Mermaid Man''': EVIL! Where is it?
:'''Barnacle Boy''': ''[points at SpongeBob and Patrick]'' There it is! You know what this means? ''[opens a box containing their rings]''
:'''Mermaid Man:''' Donuts!

===''[[w:Pickles (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Pickles (6.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Let me guess, Tiny. A small salad?
:'''Bubble Bass''': I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, four by four, animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it and let it swim.
:''[Squidward stops writing]''
:'''Squidward''': We serve food here, sir.

==Episode 7==
===''[[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (season 1)#ep7a|Hall Monitor (7.1)]]''===
:''[Mrs. Puff walks over to SpongeBob, who is lying on the ground after the class tramples him while running out the door at the 3:00 bell.]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': SpongeBob, are you okay?
:'''SpongeBob''': I overdid the speech again, didn't I?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': I'm afraid so.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gets up]'' Aw, tartar sauce! I guess I won't be needing this. ''[takes off uniform]'' I hardly knew you. ''[frowns and begins to walk away]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': ''[shows sadness on her face]'' Uh, SpongeBob?
:'''SpongeBob''': Yes, Mrs. Puff?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': I can at least let you wear it until tomorrow.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[flies back into the uniform with a shout of joy]'' Thanks, Mrs. Puff! ''[walks away]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': ''[to herself]'' What are the consequences of what I've just done? ''[sighs to herself, thinking tragic thoughts, as she walks back into her classroom]''

===''Jellyfish Jam (7.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward! Hey, Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! ''[Squidward peeks out his window]'' Squidward! Look at my new pet.
:'''Squidward''': That's no pet, that's a wild animal.
:'''SpongeBob''': No, he isn't. Watch this! ''[throws a stick so the jellyfish returns it. SpongeBob is holding up 3 fingers]'' How many fingers am I holding up?
:'''Jellyfish''': ''[humming]'' 1, 2, 3.
:'''SpongeBob''': Play dead! ''[jellyfish is buried underground with a tomb that says &quot;R.I.P.&quot;. He pops up]''
:'''Squidward''': I wouldn't let that thing into my house even if it was potty trained! ''[the jellyfish, still on the rope, is on a toilet reading a newspaper as he hums casually]'' I didn't need to see that.
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, we're going to my house to have a little fun.
:'''Squidward''': How can you possibly have fun with a jellyfish?!

==Episode 8==
===''Sandy's Rocket (8.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': So, you were an alien all the time, and you didn't even tell me! 
:'''Patrick''': I didn't even know! 
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, I've got you now! 
:'''Patrick''': Oh, but it's not ''you'' that's got me. It's... ''[He fires his pop-gun, but traps himself instead]'' ...''me'' that's got me.

===''[[w:Squeaky Boots|Squeaky Boots (8.2)]]''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's not the boots, it's the bootee! Err, um, the person ''in'' the boots! You're a great fry cook, SpongeBob!
:'''SpongeBob''': You really think so, Mr. Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I do, son. ''[gives SpongeBob money]'' Here's your paycheck, SpongeBob. ''[gives more money]'' Plus, a bonus! ''[takes bonus back]'' Well, there's your paycheck anyway. I need a vacation.

==Episode 9==
===''Nature Pants (9.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[about SpongeBob, who has decided to go live in the wild]'' He took off his pants.
:'''Sandy''': I'll give him a week.
:'''Squidward''': I'll give him 11 minutes.
:'''Patrick''': ''[on the verge of tears]'' ...PATRICK ''SAD!''

===''[[w:Opposite Day (Spongebob SquarePants)|Opposite Day (9.2)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward! I mean, goodbye, Squidward! Isn't Opposite Day...terrible!?!
:'''Squidward''': ''[from his house]'' I'll tell you what's terrible...living next to you! You're the worst neighbor in history!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow, that's the nicest thing Squidward's ever said to me!

==Episode 10==
===''Culture Shock (10.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Good evening and welcome to the first annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show, sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, because no one else would give it a home. ''[Patrick bursts out laughing]''

===''F.U.N (10.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Maybe the lad was right. Maybe Plankton's gone straight. ''[notices the Krabby Patty on the table is a cardboard prop]'' And maybe scallops will fly out of me pants! ''[jumps into the boat that serves as the cash register stand, takes a pair of oars, and starts rowing it]'' Hang on, lad, I'm a-comin'!

==Episode 11==
===''MuscleBob BuffPants (11.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': This &quot;working out&quot; thing isn't working out.

===''Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost (11.2)''===
:'''Squidward's &quot;Ghost&quot;''': SpongeBob, I have a confession to make. ''[takes off towel from his head]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' You're...bald?!
:'''Squidward''': No, I'm not bald! I'm alive!

==Episode 12==
===[[w:The Chaperone (SpongeBob SquarePants)|''The Chaperone'' (12.1)]]===
:'''Pearl''': ''[walks up outside the ladies restroom]'' Sponge, are you okay?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' Messed everything up.
:'''Pearl''': Don't worry SpongeBob, ya didn't mess everything up.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' Hot dog.
:'''Pearl''': Actually, it was pretty funny when that hot dog landed in Judy's hair.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' All I wanted was to have a good time.
:'''Pearl''': But I ''am'' having a good time! You know, we haven't finished our dance yet.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[whimpers]'' Can I still wear the wig?
:'''Pearl''': Yes, you can still wear the wig.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[runs out and grabs Pearl to the dance floor]'' Let's go!

===''Employee of the Month (12.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Do you know what today is?
:'''Squidward''': Annoy Squidward Day?
:'''SpongeBob''': No, silly! ''[gets out a calendar]'' That's on the 15th! ''[points to a picture of Squidward's head on the calendar]''. 

==Episode 13==
===''[[w:Scaredy Pants|Scaredy Pants (13.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after the Flying Dutchman runs away in fear, SpongeBob is shown entirely shaved, exposing his brain]'' Hey! What do you know? I scared him! ''[laughs]''
:''[Everyone else runs out of the Krusty Krab, screaming]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[walking outside with Patrick]'' It worked, Patrick! I scared everybody!
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess it was your pink hat.
:'''SpongeBob''': Pink hat? Oh, that's not a hat, that's my brain.
:'''Patrick''': Oh... ''[runs away screaming]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, it grows back!

===''[[w:I Was a Teenage Gary|I Was a Teenage Gary (13.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[to SpongeBob]'' Would you ''please'' stop leaving your undergarments on my front lawn? 

I take it back, Gary. Something is wrong with meeee! -Owww.

==Episode 14==
===''SB-129 (14.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[rushed]'' I was in the future and then I was in the past, and there was ''nowhere'', and at last, I'm home, and...you don't know how happy I am to see you guys!
:'''SpongeBob''': Does this mean you wanna go...
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ...jellyfishing?
:'''Squidward''': No! D'oh! Who's the barnaclehead who invented that game anyway?
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''You'' are, Squidward! ''[laughs]''
:'''Squidward''': I'm going back.

===''[[w:Karate Choppers|Karate Choppers (14.2)]]''===
:'''Sandy''': I love karate!
:'''SpongeBob''': I love kare-ah-tay!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I love money-ay!
:'''Squidward''': I hate all of you.

==Episode 15==
===''Sleepy Time (15.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Does anyone have a quarter?

===''Suds (15.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, I'm sick. Can you escort me to the doctor's?
:'''Sandy''': Sure, SpongeBob. I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August!

==Episode 16==
===''Valentine's Day (16.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Heart on stick must DIE! ''[goes to the pole and tries to pick it up; gives up eventually in tiredness; Patrick sees a little girl eating a heart-shaped lollipop]'' Heart on stick must DIE! ''[grabs it, breaks it, and stuffs it in his mouth]''

===''The Paper (16.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Well, you can't play music with a piece of paper! ''[plays 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' off-key. Little black musical note symbols fall out of the clarinet]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[applauding]'' Hooray! Hooray! That was great, Squidward! All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original!
:'''Squidward''': What? I didn't play any wrong notes! ''[plays the song off-key again]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, see, you're playing it like this... ''[plays his piece of paper as the clarinet with the note symbols coming out]'' ...When ordinarily it goes like this. ''[plays the song on-key]'' I'm partial to doing it in the key of A-minor myself. ''[plays the song in high notes. A music sheet appears]'' Ah, nothing like a duet between buddies, eh, Squidward?

==Episode 17==
===''Arrgh! (17.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': If I don't make any money today, I'll surely break out in a rash!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[offscreen]'' Yipee! I'm rich, Patrick, look! Eight gold doubloons!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! I saw it first! ''[leaps through the air and lands on the table where SpongeBob and Patrick are playing a game]'' Mine! Mine! ''[realizing]'' Huh?
:'''SpongeBob''': Boy, Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty. 

I’ll roll for ya, boy! 
8 paces, north? That’s a good start, lad. 
1, 2, 3…

===''[[w:Rock Bottom (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Rock Bottom (17.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are stranded in Rock Bottom]''
:'''SpongeBob''': It sure is weird around here. Kind of different. Even the soil looks different. ''[scoops up a handful of soil]''
:'''Soil''': Would you ''[blows raspberry]'' mind ''[blows raspberry]'' putting me down?

==Episode 18==
===''Texas (18.1)''===
:''[After Sandy sings a song about returning to her home, Texas]''
:'''Patrick''': Do you think she knows the [[w:The_Muffin_Man|Muffin Man]] song?
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, she sang that song from her heart. She really misses Texas!
:'''Patrick''': Well! Let's get some Texas and bring it down here!
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, we can't... ''[comes with an idea]'' That's it! Patrick? Your genius is showing!
:'''Patrick''': ''[frantically covers himself]'' Where?!

===''[[w:Walking Small|Walking Small (18.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob sees Plankton sitting on a bench with two ice cream cones, crying]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, what are you doing here...and why are you crying?
:'''Plankton''': ''[tearfully]'' Oh, hi, SpongeBob. ''[blows his nose on a tiny handkerchief]'' I'm crying because I've got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! ''[sobbing]'' I don't know what to do with the other one!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:''[after SpongeBob finds out that Plankton used him for his plan]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You used me...for ''LAND DEVELOPMENT?!''

==Episode 19==
===''[[w:Fools in April|Fools in April (19.1)]]''===
:'''Tom''': Excuse me, can I get a couple of ice cubes in here, please?
:'''SpongeBob''': Sure! A couple of ice cubes coming up! ''[walks off and then returns with the drink]'' Here you go!
:'''Tom''': Thanks. ''[drinks his lemonade, SpongeBob giggling with every sip]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he's finished]'' APRIL FOOLS!
:'''Tom''': What did you do to my drink?!
:'''SpongeBob''': I-- er, I-- er...
:'''Tom''': You WHAT?!
:'''SpongeBob''': You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink...and I only put in one! ''[laughs]''
:'''Tom''': Hey, I guess that is kinda funny! Ha ha... ''[starts mumbling]''

===''Neptune's Spatula (19.II)''===
:'''Neptune''': This accursed stove has burnt my finger. Feel thy own wrath, stove! ''[uses his powers to zap the stove]'' Haha!
:'''SpongeBob''': What did I tell you about using your powers, 'trainee'?
:'''Neptune''': ''[sighs]'' Perfect patties are made with love, not magic.

==Episode 20==
===''Hooky (20.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': The hooks, me bucko! They're back! Beware the hooks!
:'''SpongeBob''': The hooks?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Aye, the hooks! They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and beguiling colors, and just when you think you've found the land of milk and honey, they grab ya by the britches, and haul you way up high, and higher, and HIGHER, AND '''''HIGHER''''', until you're hauled up to the surface, flopping and gasping for breath! And then they cook ya, and then they eat ya...''or worse!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[terrified]'' What could be worse than that?!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[softly]'' Gift shops.

===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II (20.2)''===
:'''Mermaid Man''': ''[about SpongeBob]'' Don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the hero of tomorrow, or the villain.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]] 2003</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149202</id>
      <parentid>3149201</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:36:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>108.29.85.180</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Texas (18.1) */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="18833" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
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:'''Seasons: 1''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999–present) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''Help Wanted (1.1)''===
:''[Spongebob arrives at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Permission to come aboard, captain! I've been training my whole life for the day I could finally join the Krusty Krew, ''[normal voice]'' and now I'm ready!
:''[SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling, SpongeBob shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Squidward and Mr. Krabs]''
:'''Spongebob''': So, uh, when do I start?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, lad, it seems like you don't even have your sea legs.
:'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs, please. I'll prove I'm a fry cook. Ask Squidward, He'll vouch for me.
:''[Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob]'' 
:'''Squidward''': ''[deep breath]'' No.

===''Reef Blower (1.2)''===
:''(Non-speaking episode)''
:('''SpongeBob''': ''[to the shell]'' You!)

===''Tea at the Treedome (1.3)''===

:'''Sandy''': All right, you whipper snappers, come and get it! [when she opens her eyes and looks down, she immediately screams and drops her tray, live-action is grass with Sponge and starfish]

==Episode 2==
===''Bubblestand (2.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Now for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. ''[inhales and starts to play his clarinet. The shot changes to SpongeBob still outside. He proceeds to build his bubblestand super fast, making a loud racket. Coming over to the window, to SpongeBob]'' I thought I...! Huh?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[waving]'' Hey, Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents!
:'''Squidward''': Right, like I would ''spend'' a moment of my time...blowing bubbles!

===''Ripped Pants (2.2)''===
:'''Lou''': May I help you?
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll take a banana split.
:'''Lou''': Uh, we don't have that.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's okay. I already &quot;split&quot; my pants. Get it?
:'''Lou''': ''[sarcastically]'' Tee-hee. Anything else?
:'''SpongeBob''': How about...&quot;ripple&quot;? ''[shows the rip in his pants]'' No thanks. Already got one. 

==Episode 3==
===''Jellyfishing (3.1)''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are welcoming Squidward home from the hospital]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Welcome home, Squidward!
:'''Patrick''': Merry Christmas!

===''[[w:Plankton!|Plankton! (3.2)]]''===
:''[While SpongeBob is walking home]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, what are you doing here?
:'''Plankton''': I just want to talk. You could say we're friends, right?
:'''SpongeBob''': Um...no.
:'''Plankton''': Acquaintances?
:'''SpongeBob''': No.
:'''Plankton''': ''[thinks]'' Well, we're both invertebrates, aren't we?
:'''SpongeBob''': I...guess so.
:'''Plankton''': You see? Everything works out.

==Episode 4==
===''Naughty Nautical Neighbors (4.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[sings] Squidward is my best friend in the world... [starts playing the bassinet very badly]&lt;br /&gt;Squidward is my best friend in the sea. [starts playing the bassinet very badly again. He lets go of his bow and the bow flies into a picture of Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': AAH! ''[growls and breaks the bow in half on his knee]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[singing] Squidward– [is playing the bassinet like a guitar]''
:'''Patrick''': ''[poking his head out the window] Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob. [Spongebob slams the window in Patrick's face]'' OOMF!
:'''SpongeBob''': '''''...And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer!''' [hits the bassinet against the floor and it breaks]'' Um...I can fix this.
:''[Squidward growls and kicks SpongeBob out]''
:'''SpongeBob''': So, uh...I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!

===''[[w:Boating School|Boating School (4.2)]]''===
:''[near the end of the driving test]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm cheating, Mrs. Puff! I'm cheating!
:'''Mrs. Puff''': It's okay, SpongeBob! You can cheat! Cheat ''that'' way! ''[points towards the finish line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I'm...cheating!

==Episode 5==
===''[[w:Pizza Delivery (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Pizza Delivery (5.1)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Will you let go of that stupid pizza already?!
:'''SpongeBob''': I can't, it's for the customer!
:'''Squidward''': Who cares about the customer?
:'''SpongeBob''': I do!
:'''Squidward''': Well, I don't!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[wind stops momentarily; gasps]'' Squidward! ''[blown away by the wind]''

===''Home Sweet Pineapple (5.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, is it time already for you to ruin my day?
:'''Patrick''': Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? Don't start without me!

==Episode 6==
===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (6.1)''===
:'''Barnacle Boy''': Time to come out of retirement! There's evil afoot!
:'''Mermaid Man''': EVIL! Where is it?
:'''Barnacle Boy''': ''[points at SpongeBob and Patrick]'' There it is! You know what this means? ''[opens a box containing their rings]''
:'''Mermaid Man:''' Donuts!

===''[[w:Pickles (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Pickles (6.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Let me guess, Tiny. A small salad?
:'''Bubble Bass''': I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, four by four, animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it and let it swim.
:''[Squidward stops writing]''
:'''Squidward''': We serve food here, sir.

==Episode 7==
===''[[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (season 1)#ep7a|Hall Monitor (7.1)]]''===
:''[Mrs. Puff walks over to SpongeBob, who is lying on the ground after the class tramples him while running out the door at the 3:00 bell.]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': SpongeBob, are you okay?
:'''SpongeBob''': I overdid the speech again, didn't I?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': I'm afraid so.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gets up]'' Aw, tartar sauce! I guess I won't be needing this. ''[takes off uniform]'' I hardly knew you. ''[frowns and begins to walk away]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': ''[shows sadness on her face]'' Uh, SpongeBob?
:'''SpongeBob''': Yes, Mrs. Puff?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': I can at least let you wear it until tomorrow.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[flies back into the uniform with a shout of joy]'' Thanks, Mrs. Puff! ''[walks away]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': ''[to herself]'' What are the consequences of what I've just done? ''[sighs to herself, thinking tragic thoughts, as she walks back into her classroom]''

===''Jellyfish Jam (7.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward! Hey, Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! ''[Squidward peeks out his window]'' Squidward! Look at my new pet.
:'''Squidward''': That's no pet, that's a wild animal.
:'''SpongeBob''': No, he isn't. Watch this! ''[throws a stick so the jellyfish returns it. SpongeBob is holding up 3 fingers]'' How many fingers am I holding up?
:'''Jellyfish''': ''[humming]'' 1, 2, 3.
:'''SpongeBob''': Play dead! ''[jellyfish is buried underground with a tomb that says &quot;R.I.P.&quot;. He pops up]''
:'''Squidward''': I wouldn't let that thing into my house even if it was potty trained! ''[the jellyfish, still on the rope, is on a toilet reading a newspaper as he hums casually]'' I didn't need to see that.
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, we're going to my house to have a little fun.
:'''Squidward''': How can you possibly have fun with a jellyfish?!

==Episode 8==
===''Sandy's Rocket (8.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': So, you were an alien all the time, and you didn't even tell me! 
:'''Patrick''': I didn't even know! 
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, I've got you now! 
:'''Patrick''': Oh, but it's not ''you'' that's got me. It's... ''[He fires his pop-gun, but traps himself instead]'' ...''me'' that's got me.

===''[[w:Squeaky Boots|Squeaky Boots (8.2)]]''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's not the boots, it's the bootee! Err, um, the person ''in'' the boots! You're a great fry cook, SpongeBob!
:'''SpongeBob''': You really think so, Mr. Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I do, son. ''[gives SpongeBob money]'' Here's your paycheck, SpongeBob. ''[gives more money]'' Plus, a bonus! ''[takes bonus back]'' Well, there's your paycheck anyway. I need a vacation.

==Episode 9==
===''Nature Pants (9.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[about SpongeBob, who has decided to go live in the wild]'' He took off his pants.
:'''Sandy''': I'll give him a week.
:'''Squidward''': I'll give him 11 minutes.
:'''Patrick''': ''[on the verge of tears]'' ...PATRICK ''SAD!''

===''[[w:Opposite Day (Spongebob SquarePants)|Opposite Day (9.2)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward! I mean, goodbye, Squidward! Isn't Opposite Day...terrible!?!
:'''Squidward''': ''[from his house]'' I'll tell you what's terrible...living next to you! You're the worst neighbor in history!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow, that's the nicest thing Squidward's ever said to me!

==Episode 10==
===''Culture Shock (10.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Good evening and welcome to the first annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show, sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, because no one else would give it a home. ''[Patrick bursts out laughing]''

===''F.U.N (10.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Maybe the lad was right. Maybe Plankton's gone straight. ''[notices the Krabby Patty on the table is a cardboard prop]'' And maybe scallops will fly out of me pants! ''[jumps into the boat that serves as the cash register stand, takes a pair of oars, and starts rowing it]'' Hang on, lad, I'm a-comin'!

==Episode 11==
===''MuscleBob BuffPants (11.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': This &quot;working out&quot; thing isn't working out.

===''Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost (11.2)''===
:'''Squidward's &quot;Ghost&quot;''': SpongeBob, I have a confession to make. ''[takes off towel from his head]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' You're...bald?!
:'''Squidward''': No, I'm not bald! I'm alive!

==Episode 12==
===[[w:The Chaperone (SpongeBob SquarePants)|''The Chaperone'' (12.1)]]===
:'''Pearl''': ''[walks up outside the ladies restroom]'' Sponge, are you okay?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' Messed everything up.
:'''Pearl''': Don't worry SpongeBob, ya didn't mess everything up.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' Hot dog.
:'''Pearl''': Actually, it was pretty funny when that hot dog landed in Judy's hair.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' All I wanted was to have a good time.
:'''Pearl''': But I ''am'' having a good time! You know, we haven't finished our dance yet.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[whimpers]'' Can I still wear the wig?
:'''Pearl''': Yes, you can still wear the wig.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[runs out and grabs Pearl to the dance floor]'' Let's go!

===''Employee of the Month (12.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Do you know what today is?
:'''Squidward''': Annoy Squidward Day?
:'''SpongeBob''': No, silly! ''[gets out a calendar]'' That's on the 15th! ''[points to a picture of Squidward's head on the calendar]''. 

==Episode 13==
===''[[w:Scaredy Pants|Scaredy Pants (13.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after the Flying Dutchman runs away in fear, SpongeBob is shown entirely shaved, exposing his brain]'' Hey! What do you know? I scared him! ''[laughs]''
:''[Everyone else runs out of the Krusty Krab, screaming]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[walking outside with Patrick]'' It worked, Patrick! I scared everybody!
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess it was your pink hat.
:'''SpongeBob''': Pink hat? Oh, that's not a hat, that's my brain.
:'''Patrick''': Oh... ''[runs away screaming]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, it grows back!

===''[[w:I Was a Teenage Gary|I Was a Teenage Gary (13.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[to SpongeBob]'' Would you ''please'' stop leaving your undergarments on my front lawn? 

I take it back, Gary. Something is wrong with meeee! -Owww.

==Episode 14==
===''SB-129 (14.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[rushed]'' I was in the future and then I was in the past, and there was ''nowhere'', and at last, I'm home, and...you don't know how happy I am to see you guys!
:'''SpongeBob''': Does this mean you wanna go...
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ...jellyfishing?
:'''Squidward''': No! D'oh! Who's the barnaclehead who invented that game anyway?
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''You'' are, Squidward! ''[laughs]''
:'''Squidward''': I'm going back.

===''[[w:Karate Choppers|Karate Choppers (14.2)]]''===
:'''Sandy''': I love karate!
:'''SpongeBob''': I love kare-ah-tay!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I love money-ay!
:'''Squidward''': I hate all of you.

==Episode 15==
===''Sleepy Time (15.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Does anyone have a quarter?

===''Suds (15.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, I'm sick. Can you escort me to the doctor's?
:'''Sandy''': Sure, SpongeBob. I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August!

==Episode 16==
===''Valentine's Day (16.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Heart on stick must DIE! ''[goes to the pole and tries to pick it up; gives up eventually in tiredness; Patrick sees a little girl eating a heart-shaped lollipop]'' Heart on stick must DIE! ''[grabs it, breaks it, and stuffs it in his mouth]''

===''The Paper (16.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Well, you can't play music with a piece of paper! ''[plays 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' off-key. Little black musical note symbols fall out of the clarinet]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[applauding]'' Hooray! Hooray! That was great, Squidward! All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original!
:'''Squidward''': What? I didn't play any wrong notes! ''[plays the song off-key again]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, see, you're playing it like this... ''[plays his piece of paper as the clarinet with the note symbols coming out]'' ...When ordinarily it goes like this. ''[plays the song on-key]'' I'm partial to doing it in the key of A-minor myself. ''[plays the song in high notes. A music sheet appears]'' Ah, nothing like a duet between buddies, eh, Squidward?

==Episode 17==
===''Arrgh! (17.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': If I don't make any money today, I'll surely break out in a rash!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[offscreen]'' Yipee! I'm rich, Patrick, look! Eight gold doubloons!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! I saw it first! ''[leaps through the air and lands on the table where SpongeBob and Patrick are playing a game]'' Mine! Mine! ''[realizing]'' Huh?
:'''SpongeBob''': Boy, Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty. 

I’ll roll for ya, boy! 
8 paces, north? That’s a good start, lad. 
1, 2, 3…

===''[[w:Rock Bottom (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Rock Bottom (17.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are stranded in Rock Bottom]''
:'''SpongeBob''': It sure is weird around here. Kind of different. Even the soil looks different. ''[scoops up a handful of soil]''
:'''Soil''': Would you ''[blows raspberry]'' mind ''[blows raspberry]'' putting me down?

==Episode 18==
===''Texas (18.1)''===
:''[After Sandy sings a song about returning to her home, Texas]''
:'''Patrick''': Do you think she knows the [[w:The_Muffin_Man|Muffin Man]] song?
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, she sang that song from her heart. She really misses Texas!
:'''Patrick''': Well! Let's get some Texas and bring it down here!
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, we can't... ''[comes with an idea]'' That's it! Patrick? Your genius is showing!
:'''Patrick''': ''[frantically covers himself]'' Where?! 

What’s so great about dumb ol’ Texas? 

Who needs dumb ol’ Texas?

===''[[w:Walking Small|Walking Small (18.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob sees Plankton sitting on a bench with two ice cream cones, crying]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, what are you doing here...and why are you crying?
:'''Plankton''': ''[tearfully]'' Oh, hi, SpongeBob. ''[blows his nose on a tiny handkerchief]'' I'm crying because I've got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! ''[sobbing]'' I don't know what to do with the other one!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:''[after SpongeBob finds out that Plankton used him for his plan]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You used me...for ''LAND DEVELOPMENT?!''

==Episode 19==
===''[[w:Fools in April|Fools in April (19.1)]]''===
:'''Tom''': Excuse me, can I get a couple of ice cubes in here, please?
:'''SpongeBob''': Sure! A couple of ice cubes coming up! ''[walks off and then returns with the drink]'' Here you go!
:'''Tom''': Thanks. ''[drinks his lemonade, SpongeBob giggling with every sip]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he's finished]'' APRIL FOOLS!
:'''Tom''': What did you do to my drink?!
:'''SpongeBob''': I-- er, I-- er...
:'''Tom''': You WHAT?!
:'''SpongeBob''': You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink...and I only put in one! ''[laughs]''
:'''Tom''': Hey, I guess that is kinda funny! Ha ha... ''[starts mumbling]''

===''Neptune's Spatula (19.II)''===
:'''Neptune''': This accursed stove has burnt my finger. Feel thy own wrath, stove! ''[uses his powers to zap the stove]'' Haha!
:'''SpongeBob''': What did I tell you about using your powers, 'trainee'?
:'''Neptune''': ''[sighs]'' Perfect patties are made with love, not magic.

==Episode 20==
===''Hooky (20.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': The hooks, me bucko! They're back! Beware the hooks!
:'''SpongeBob''': The hooks?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Aye, the hooks! They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and beguiling colors, and just when you think you've found the land of milk and honey, they grab ya by the britches, and haul you way up high, and higher, and HIGHER, AND '''''HIGHER''''', until you're hauled up to the surface, flopping and gasping for breath! And then they cook ya, and then they eat ya...''or worse!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[terrified]'' What could be worse than that?!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[softly]'' Gift shops.

===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II (20.2)''===
:'''Mermaid Man''': ''[about SpongeBob]'' Don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the hero of tomorrow, or the villain.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]] 2003</text>
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----
:'''Seasons: 1''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999–present) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''Help Wanted (1.1)''===
:''[Spongebob arrives at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Permission to come aboard, captain! I've been training my whole life for the day I could finally join the Krusty Krew, ''[normal voice]'' and now I'm ready!
:''[SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling, SpongeBob shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Squidward and Mr. Krabs]''
:'''Spongebob''': So, uh, when do I start?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, lad, it seems like you don't even have your sea legs.
:'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs, please. I'll prove I'm a fry cook. Ask Squidward, He'll vouch for me.
:''[Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob]'' 
:'''Squidward''': ''[deep breath]'' No.

===''Reef Blower (1.2)''===
:''(Non-speaking episode)''
:('''SpongeBob''': ''[to the shell]'' You!)

===''Tea at the Treedome (1.3)''===

:'''Sandy''': All right, you whipper snappers, come and get it! [when she opens her eyes and looks down, she immediately screams and drops her tray, live-action is grass with Sponge and starfish]

==Episode 2==
===''Bubblestand (2.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Now for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. ''[inhales and starts to play his clarinet. The shot changes to SpongeBob still outside. He proceeds to build his bubblestand super fast, making a loud racket. Coming over to the window, to SpongeBob]'' I thought I...! Huh?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[waving]'' Hey, Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents!
:'''Squidward''': Right, like I would ''spend'' a moment of my time...blowing bubbles!

===''Ripped Pants (2.2)''===
:'''Lou''': May I help you?
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll take a banana split.
:'''Lou''': Uh, we don't have that.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's okay. I already &quot;split&quot; my pants. Get it?
:'''Lou''': ''[sarcastically]'' Tee-hee. Anything else?
:'''SpongeBob''': How about...&quot;ripple&quot;? ''[shows the rip in his pants]'' No thanks. Already got one. 

==Episode 3==
===''Jellyfishing (3.1)''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are welcoming Squidward home from the hospital]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Welcome home, Squidward!
:'''Patrick''': Merry Christmas!

===''[[w:Plankton!|Plankton! (3.2)]]''===
:''[While SpongeBob is walking home]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, what are you doing here?
:'''Plankton''': I just want to talk. You could say we're friends, right?
:'''SpongeBob''': Um...no.
:'''Plankton''': Acquaintances?
:'''SpongeBob''': No.
:'''Plankton''': ''[thinks]'' Well, we're both invertebrates, aren't we?
:'''SpongeBob''': I...guess so.
:'''Plankton''': You see? Everything works out.

==Episode 4==
===''Naughty Nautical Neighbors (4.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[sings] Squidward is my best friend in the world... [starts playing the bassinet very badly]&lt;br /&gt;Squidward is my best friend in the sea. [starts playing the bassinet very badly again. He lets go of his bow and the bow flies into a picture of Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': AAH! ''[growls and breaks the bow in half on his knee]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[singing] Squidward– [is playing the bassinet like a guitar]''
:'''Patrick''': ''[poking his head out the window] Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob. [Spongebob slams the window in Patrick's face]'' OOMF!
:'''SpongeBob''': '''''...And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer!''' [hits the bassinet against the floor and it breaks]'' Um...I can fix this.
:''[Squidward growls and kicks SpongeBob out]''
:'''SpongeBob''': So, uh...I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!

===''[[w:Boating School|Boating School (4.2)]]''===
:''[near the end of the driving test]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm cheating, Mrs. Puff! I'm cheating!
:'''Mrs. Puff''': It's okay, SpongeBob! You can cheat! Cheat ''that'' way! ''[points towards the finish line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I'm...cheating!

==Episode 5==
===''[[w:Pizza Delivery (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Pizza Delivery (5.1)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Will you let go of that stupid pizza already?!
:'''SpongeBob''': I can't, it's for the customer!
:'''Squidward''': Who cares about the customer?
:'''SpongeBob''': I do!
:'''Squidward''': Well, I don't!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[wind stops momentarily; gasps]'' Squidward! ''[blown away by the wind]''

===''Home Sweet Pineapple (5.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, is it time already for you to ruin my day?
:'''Patrick''': Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? Don't start without me!

==Episode 6==
===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (6.1)''===
:'''Barnacle Boy''': Time to come out of retirement! There's evil afoot!
:'''Mermaid Man''': EVIL! Where is it?
:'''Barnacle Boy''': ''[points at SpongeBob and Patrick]'' There it is! You know what this means? ''[opens a box containing their rings]''
:'''Mermaid Man:''' Donuts!

===''[[w:Pickles (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Pickles (6.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Let me guess, Tiny. A small salad?
:'''Bubble Bass''': I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, four by four, animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it and let it swim.
:''[Squidward stops writing]''
:'''Squidward''': We serve food here, sir.

==Episode 7==
===''[[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (season 1)#ep7a|Hall Monitor (7.1)]]''===
:''[Mrs. Puff walks over to SpongeBob, who is lying on the ground after the class tramples him while running out the door at the 3:00 bell.]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': SpongeBob, are you okay?
:'''SpongeBob''': I overdid the speech again, didn't I?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': I'm afraid so.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gets up]'' Aw, tartar sauce! I guess I won't be needing this. ''[takes off uniform]'' I hardly knew you. ''[frowns and begins to walk away]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': ''[shows sadness on her face]'' Uh, SpongeBob?
:'''SpongeBob''': Yes, Mrs. Puff?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': I can at least let you wear it until tomorrow.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[flies back into the uniform with a shout of joy]'' Thanks, Mrs. Puff! ''[walks away]''
:'''Mrs. Puff''': ''[to herself]'' What are the consequences of what I've just done? ''[sighs to herself, thinking tragic thoughts, as she walks back into her classroom]''

===''Jellyfish Jam (7.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward! Hey, Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! ''[Squidward peeks out his window]'' Squidward! Look at my new pet.
:'''Squidward''': That's no pet, that's a wild animal.
:'''SpongeBob''': No, he isn't. Watch this! ''[throws a stick so the jellyfish returns it. SpongeBob is holding up 3 fingers]'' How many fingers am I holding up?
:'''Jellyfish''': ''[humming]'' 1, 2, 3.
:'''SpongeBob''': Play dead! ''[jellyfish is buried underground with a tomb that says &quot;R.I.P.&quot;. He pops up]''
:'''Squidward''': I wouldn't let that thing into my house even if it was potty trained! ''[the jellyfish, still on the rope, is on a toilet reading a newspaper as he hums casually]'' I didn't need to see that.
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, we're going to my house to have a little fun.
:'''Squidward''': How can you possibly have fun with a jellyfish?!

==Episode 8==
===''Sandy's Rocket (8.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': So, you were an alien all the time, and you didn't even tell me! 
:'''Patrick''': I didn't even know! 
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, I've got you now! 
:'''Patrick''': Oh, but it's not ''you'' that's got me. It's... ''[He fires his pop-gun, but traps himself instead]'' ...''me'' that's got me.

===''[[w:Squeaky Boots|Squeaky Boots (8.2)]]''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's not the boots, it's the bootee! Err, um, the person ''in'' the boots! You're a great fry cook, SpongeBob!
:'''SpongeBob''': You really think so, Mr. Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I do, son. ''[gives SpongeBob money]'' Here's your paycheck, SpongeBob. ''[gives more money]'' Plus, a bonus! ''[takes bonus back]'' Well, there's your paycheck anyway. I need a vacation.

==Episode 9==
===''Nature Pants (9.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[about SpongeBob, who has decided to go live in the wild]'' He took off his pants.
:'''Sandy''': I'll give him a week.
:'''Squidward''': I'll give him 11 minutes.
:'''Patrick''': ''[on the verge of tears]'' ...PATRICK ''SAD!''

===''[[w:Opposite Day (Spongebob SquarePants)|Opposite Day (9.2)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward! I mean, goodbye, Squidward! Isn't Opposite Day...terrible!?!
:'''Squidward''': ''[from his house]'' I'll tell you what's terrible...living next to you! You're the worst neighbor in history!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow, that's the nicest thing Squidward's ever said to me!

==Episode 10==
===''Culture Shock (10.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Good evening and welcome to the first annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show, sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, because no one else would give it a home. ''[Patrick bursts out laughing]''

===''F.U.N (10.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Maybe the lad was right. Maybe Plankton's gone straight. ''[notices the Krabby Patty on the table is a cardboard prop]'' And maybe scallops will fly out of me pants! ''[jumps into the boat that serves as the cash register stand, takes a pair of oars, and starts rowing it]'' Hang on, lad, I'm a-comin'!

==Episode 11==
===''MuscleBob BuffPants (11.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': This &quot;working out&quot; thing isn't working out.

===''Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost (11.2)''===
:'''Squidward's &quot;Ghost&quot;''': SpongeBob, I have a confession to make. ''[takes off towel from his head]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' You're...bald?!
:'''Squidward''': No, I'm not bald! I'm alive!

==Episode 12==
===[[w:The Chaperone (SpongeBob SquarePants)|''The Chaperone'' (12.1)]]===
:'''Pearl''': ''[walks up outside the ladies restroom]'' Sponge, are you okay?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' Messed everything up.
:'''Pearl''': Don't worry SpongeBob, ya didn't mess everything up.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' Hot dog.
:'''Pearl''': Actually, it was pretty funny when that hot dog landed in Judy's hair.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[crying]'' All I wanted was to have a good time.
:'''Pearl''': But I ''am'' having a good time! You know, we haven't finished our dance yet.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[whimpers]'' Can I still wear the wig?
:'''Pearl''': Yes, you can still wear the wig.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[runs out and grabs Pearl to the dance floor]'' Let's go!

===''Employee of the Month (12.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Do you know what today is?
:'''Squidward''': Annoy Squidward Day?
:'''SpongeBob''': No, silly! ''[gets out a calendar]'' That's on the 15th! ''[points to a picture of Squidward's head on the calendar]''. 

==Episode 13==
===''[[w:Scaredy Pants|Scaredy Pants (13.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after the Flying Dutchman runs away in fear, SpongeBob is shown entirely shaved, exposing his brain]'' Hey! What do you know? I scared him! ''[laughs]''
:''[Everyone else runs out of the Krusty Krab, screaming]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[walking outside with Patrick]'' It worked, Patrick! I scared everybody!
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess it was your pink hat.
:'''SpongeBob''': Pink hat? Oh, that's not a hat, that's my brain.
:'''Patrick''': Oh... ''[runs away screaming]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, it grows back!

===''[[w:I Was a Teenage Gary|I Was a Teenage Gary (13.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[to SpongeBob]'' Would you ''please'' stop leaving your undergarments on my front lawn? 

I take it back, Gary. Something is wrong with meeee! -Owww.

==Episode 14==
===''SB-129 (14.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[rushed]'' I was in the future and then I was in the past, and there was ''nowhere'', and at last, I'm home, and...you don't know how happy I am to see you guys!
:'''SpongeBob''': Does this mean you wanna go...
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ...jellyfishing?
:'''Squidward''': No! D'oh! Who's the barnaclehead who invented that game anyway?
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''You'' are, Squidward! ''[laughs]''
:'''Squidward''': I'm going back.

===''[[w:Karate Choppers|Karate Choppers (14.2)]]''===
:'''Sandy''': I love karate!
:'''SpongeBob''': I love kare-ah-tay!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I love money-ay!
:'''Squidward''': I hate all of you.

==Episode 15==
===''Sleepy Time (15.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Does anyone have a quarter?

===''Suds (15.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, I'm sick. Can you escort me to the doctor's?
:'''Sandy''': Sure, SpongeBob. I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August!

==Episode 16==
===''Valentine's Day (16.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Heart on stick must DIE! ''[goes to the pole and tries to pick it up; gives up eventually in tiredness; Patrick sees a little girl eating a heart-shaped lollipop]'' Heart on stick must DIE! ''[grabs it, breaks it, and stuffs it in his mouth]''

===''The Paper (16.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Well, you can't play music with a piece of paper! ''[plays 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' off-key. Little black musical note symbols fall out of the clarinet]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[applauding]'' Hooray! Hooray! That was great, Squidward! All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original!
:'''Squidward''': What? I didn't play any wrong notes! ''[plays the song off-key again]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, see, you're playing it like this... ''[plays his piece of paper as the clarinet with the note symbols coming out]'' ...When ordinarily it goes like this. ''[plays the song on-key]'' I'm partial to doing it in the key of A-minor myself. ''[plays the song in high notes. A music sheet appears]'' Ah, nothing like a duet between buddies, eh, Squidward?

==Episode 17==
===''Arrgh! (17.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': If I don't make any money today, I'll surely break out in a rash!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[offscreen]'' Yipee! I'm rich, Patrick, look! Eight gold doubloons!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! I saw it first! ''[leaps through the air and lands on the table where SpongeBob and Patrick are playing a game]'' Mine! Mine! ''[realizing]'' Huh?
:'''SpongeBob''': Boy, Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty. 

I’ll roll for ya, boy! 
8 paces, north? That’s a good start, lad. 
1, 2, 3…

===''[[w:Rock Bottom (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Rock Bottom (17.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are stranded in Rock Bottom]''
:'''SpongeBob''': It sure is weird around here. Kind of different. Even the soil looks different. ''[scoops up a handful of soil]''
:'''Soil''': Would you ''[blows raspberry]'' mind ''[blows raspberry]'' putting me down?

==Episode 18==
===''Texas (18.1)''===
:''[After Sandy sings a song about returning to her home, Texas]''
:'''Patrick''': Do you think she knows the [[w:The_Muffin_Man|Muffin Man]] song?
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, she sang that song from her heart. She really misses Texas!
:'''Patrick''': Well! Let's get some Texas and bring it down here!
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, we can't... ''[comes with an idea]'' That's it! Patrick? Your genius is showing!
:'''Patrick''': ''[frantically covers himself]'' Where?! 

What’s so great about dumb ol’ Texas? 

Who needs dumb ol’ Texas?

===''[[w:Walking Small|Walking Small (18.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob sees Plankton sitting on a bench with two ice cream cones, crying]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, what are you doing here...and why are you crying?
:'''Plankton''': ''[tearfully]'' Oh, hi, SpongeBob. ''[blows his nose on a tiny handkerchief]'' I'm crying because I've got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! ''[sobbing]'' I don't know what to do with the other one!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:''[after SpongeBob finds out that Plankton used him for his plan]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You used me...for ''LAND DEVELOPMENT?!''

==Episode 19==
===''[[w:Fools in April|Fools in April (19.1)]]''===
:'''Tom''': Excuse me, can I get a couple of ice cubes in here, please?
:'''SpongeBob''': Sure! A couple of ice cubes coming up! ''[walks off and then returns with the drink]'' Here you go!
:'''Tom''': Thanks. ''[drinks his lemonade, SpongeBob giggling with every sip]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he's finished]'' APRIL FOOLS!
:'''Tom''': What did you do to my drink?!
:'''SpongeBob''': I-- er, I-- er...
:'''Tom''': You WHAT?!
:'''SpongeBob''': You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink...and I only put in one! ''[laughs]''
:'''Tom''': Hey, I guess that is kinda funny! Ha ha... ''[starts mumbling]''

===''Neptune's Spatula (19.II)''===
:'''Neptune''': This accursed stove has burnt my finger. Feel thy own wrath, stove! ''[uses his powers to zap the stove]'' Haha!
:'''SpongeBob''': What did I tell you about using your powers, 'trainee'?
:'''Neptune''': ''[sighs]'' Perfect patties are made with love, not magic.

==Episode 20==
===''Hooky (20.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': The hooks, me bucko! They're back! Beware the hooks!
:'''SpongeBob''': The hooks?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Aye, the hooks! They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and beguiling colors, and just when you think you've found the land of milk and honey, they grab ya by the britches, and haul you way up high, and higher, and HIGHER, AND '''''HIGHER''''', until you're hauled up to the surface, flopping and gasping for breath! And then they cook ya, and then they eat ya...''or worse!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[terrified]'' What could be worse than that?!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[softly]'' Gift shops.

===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II (20.2)''===
:'''Mermaid Man''': ''[about SpongeBob]'' Don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the hero of tomorrow, or the villain. 

Can I have your autograph? 

Jingle bells

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]] 2003</text>
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  <page>
    <title>SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2</title>
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    <id>177446</id>
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      <parentid>3146251</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T14:24:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:5CE:4380:36F0:9908:7DE8:6B23:8352</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dying For Pie (4.1) */</comment>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] '''2''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''[[w:Your Shoe's Untied|Your Shoe's Untied (1.1)]]''===
:'''Patrick''': ''[SpongeBob's feet are stomped into the floor of the Krusty Krab]'' SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?
:'''SpongeBob''': Heh, well, a sponge has to look his spongiest.

===''Squid's Day Off (1.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy.

==Episode 2==
===''[[w:Something Smells|Something Smells (2.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud!
:'''Squidward''': Is that what he calls it?

===''Bossy Boots (2.2)''===
:'''Pearl''': SpongeBob, what do you like better? The Kutie Krab...or the Kooky Krab?
:'''Squidward''': For what, dare I ask?
:'''Pearl''': The new name for our new look. I mean, &quot;The Krusty Krab&quot; has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is crusty? Bleh!
:'''Squidward''': Well, sure it's a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, SpongeBob?
:'''SpongeBob''': I got it! How about The Khaotic Krab?
:'''Pearl''': Hmm... how about The Kissy Krab? ''[smooches]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[dressed as a king]'' The King Krab.
:'''Pearl''': ''[holds up a lollipop]'' The Kandy Krab!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[dressed in hip hop clothes]'' The Kool Krab. 
:''[dressed as a cowboy]'' Or the Kowboy Krab! 
:''[stretched out]'' The Kurly Krab! 
:''[dressed as a mad scientist]'' The Kreepy Krab!
:''[dressed as a crazy killer jungle man]'' The Killer Krab!
:'''Pearl''': ''[groans]'' NO!
:'''SpongeBob''': You're right, too scary.
:''[pause]''
:'''SpongeBob and Pearl''': The Kuddly Krab! ''[hug and laugh]''

==Episode 3==
===''Big Pink Loser (3.1)''===
:''[Patrick showing SpongeBob his award]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading award caption]'' &quot;For outstanding achievement in achievement&quot; - 'SpongeBob SquarePants'?
:'''Patrick''': &quot;SpongeBob SquarePants&quot;? That's a funny way to spell my name.
:'''SpongeBob''': Uh, Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.
:'''Patrick''': ''[sadly]'' But, it's shiny! ''[starts to cry]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, but, you know what else is shiny?
:'''Patrick''': Ice cream!
:'''SpongeBob''': Exactly!
:'''Patrick''': I can find it! Is it in here?
:'''SpongeBob''': No, don't! That's my-- ''[Patrick opens the door and an enormous pile of trophies tumble out]'' ...award closet.
:'''Patrick''': '''''I WANT AN AWARD!'''''

===''Bubble Buddy (3.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, no pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes ''carnival style!'' And if there is anything else I can do, '''please hesitate''' to ask!

==Episode 4==
===''Dying For Pie (4.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, are you ready?
:'''Squidward''': To go home?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day!
:'''Squidward''': Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register, and take orders, and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards ''that guy! [points to SpongeBob]''
&lt;hr width =50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Squidward''': WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, since we've finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one. I already filled up this book with ideas. (''holds up a book that says Friends 4ever'') We should be able to finish by January.
:'''Squidward''': (''slaps book away'') FORGET THE BOOK! I spent the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous things because ''you'' were supposed to explode!
:'''SpongeBob''': You want me to explode?
:'''Squidward''': Yes, that's what I've been waiting for!
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, I'll try. (''yells'') GARY, YOU ARE GONNA FINISH YOUR DESSERT, AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT! (''laughs'') Now it's your turn.
:'''Squidward''': (''yells, hops up and down furiously'') THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU BARNACLE HEAD!
:'''SpongeBob''': (''claps'') Oo, good one.
:'''Squidward''': NO! You're supposed to explode into a million pieces!
:'''SpongeBob''': Why would I do that?
:'''Squidward''': Because that pie you ate was a bomb!
:'''SpongeBob''': What pie?
:'''Squidward''': The one I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks, and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it...THAT PIE!
:'''SpongeBob''': Pie...pie...oh, you mean this pie! I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. Let's eat! (''trips on a rock'') Oops!
[''The pie flies into Squidward's face in slow motion, causing an explosion in Bikini Bottom the size of an atomic bomb'']
:'''Squidward''': Ouch.

===''Imitation Krabs (4.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': I thought you wanted to ask me a question.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[angrily]'' Yes, why aren't you working ''harder?!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[blankly]'' I don't know, Mr. Krabs. I don't know...

==Episode 5==
===''Wormy (5.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': That's it. I'm getting off the loony express.

===''Patty Hype (5.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Patrick, are you angry too?
:'''Patrick''': Yeah!
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter?
:'''Patrick''': I can't see my forehead!

==Episode 6==
===''Grandma's Kisses (6.1)''===
:'''Grandma''': You don't have to be a baby to get all of Grandma's love.
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't?
:'''Grandma''': Of course not. No matter how big you get, you will always be my little baby boo, and remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult.

===''Squidville (6.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this is the final straw. I'm going to move so far away that I will be able to brag about it. I would... ''[a piece of debris from his house falls on his head]'' I would rather tear out my brain-stem, carry it out into the middle of the nearest 4-way intersection, and skip rope with it, than go on living where I do now.
:''[A TV falls on the ground]''
:'''Announcer:''' Hi, there! Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain-stem, walk out to the middle of the nearest 3-way–
:'''Squidward:''' ''4''-way!
:'''Announcer:''' ''4''-way intersection and skip rope with it, than continue living where you do now? Then move to–
:'''Patrick:''' ''[suddenly changes the channel to a static screen]'' I ''hate'' this channel.
:'''Squidward:''' NO, ''NO!'' ''[changes it back]''
:'''Announcer:''' ...Tentacle Acres! Where happiness is just a suction cup away!

==Episode 7==
===''Pre-Hibernation Week (7.1)''===
:''[Sandy finds SpongeBob's clothes hanging off of a bush]''
:'''Sandy''': SpongeBob's tie... and all his other little dressins?  But... SpongeBob always folds his clothes before running around... '''IN THE ''NUDE!''''' Something terrible must have happened to him!

===''Life of Crime (7.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': I wanna go home.
:'''SpongeBob:''' We can never go home, Pat; We’re wanted men. We’ll spend the rest of our lives running... running, but at least it’s warmer on the fire.
:'''Patrick''': Hey, if we’re underwater, how could there be a...? ''[The fire dissolves]'' I’m scared, SpongeBob.

==[[w:Christmas Who?|''Christmas Who?'' (Episode 8)]]==
:'''Squidward''': I can't believe anyone would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts.
:'''Patrick''': Like a genie.

==Episode 9==
===''Survival of the Idiots (9.1)''===
:'''Spongebob''': ''[as &quot;Dirty Dan&quot;; in a southern voice]'' Alright Pinhead, your time is up.
:'''Patrick''': ''[as &quot;Pinhead Larry&quot;; with a looney, bucktooth face]'' Who you callin' Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan!
:'''SpongeBob''': What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?
:'''Patrick''': I'm Dirty... ''[SpongeBob hits him with a baseball bat made of snow]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I say I'm Dirty Dan.
:'''Patrick''': ''[rushes to get a spiked-bat made of snow]'' I say ''I'm'' Dirty Dan!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[hits Patrick]'' I say I'm Dirty Dan.
:'''Patrick''': ''[hits SpongeBob]'' I'm Dirty Dan!
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm Dirty Dan!
:'''Patrick''': I'm Dirty Dan!
:''[They continue to hit each other while saying &quot;I'm Dirty Dan!&quot;]''

===''Dumped (9.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': Would it be all right if Gary and I did some laundry over here?
:'''SpongeBob''': Laundry? But ''we'' used to do laundry!
:'''Patrick''': And, uh... SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[on the verge of breaking down]'' Soap? But ''we'' used to use soap! ''[holds up two different types of soap]'' Do you want Fresh Scent or Heavy Du-Du-Du...?
:'''Patrick''': Here it comes.
:'''SpongeBob''': ...Du-Du-- ''[crying]'' --Tty-yyy-yyy!?!

==Episode 10==
===''No Free Rides (10.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': 6.
:'''SpongeBob''': Whoo! And how many do I need to pass?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': 6.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[bending over and rising up very slowly]'' Whoo–
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Hundred.
:'''SpongeBob''': Wha?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': 6''00''. You need 600 to pass. You got 6.

===''I'm Your Biggest Fanatic (10.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!
:'''Kevin''': So were they. ''[points down to some fans he has managed to get rid of, trapped at the bottom of the ledge at a campfire]''
:'''Fish''': Hey, look everyone! Kevin's back! ''[they cheer]''

==Episode 11==
===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III (11.1)''===
:''[Man Ray sits on the floor with a hand over his face, pretending to cry]''
:'''Man Ray''': Boo-hoo-hoo! Oh, sob...! Oh, cry...! ''[peeks through his fingers to see if SpongeBob and Patrick are watching]'' Oh, woe is me! You don't know what it's like, being evil for so long! Oh, how I wish to be good! If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency!
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick beam at one another]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''We'' could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go!
:'''Man Ray''': Oh, that would be fantastic! ''[to himself]'' I'll fake my way through this, just like I did in high school.

===''Squirrel Jokes (11.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb?
:'''Fish''': Why?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Because, they're so darn stupid!

==Episode 12==
===''Pressure (12.1)''===
:'''Sandy''': I'm a squirrel. See? ''[points to the acorn logo on her suit]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I thought that meant you were nuts.

===''[[w:The Smoking Peanut|The Smoking Peanut (12.2)]]''===
:'''Zoo Worker #1''': What's wrong with Clamu?
:'''Joe''': Easy, girl! It's me, Joe! Remember?
:''[Clamu snarls as if it sounds like a belch and uses her tongue to throw Joe out of Oyster Stadium. Patrick and a nervous SpongeBob wait at the stands]''
:'''Patrick''':  Now, this is a show!
:''[Outside...]''
:'''Announcer''': Attention, zoo patrons! Clamu, the giant oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles. ''[everybody runs for their lives and screams]'' Thanks for coming.
:''[In the stadium, Clamu is still smashing things and making snarling belch noises. The zoo worker goes up to SpongeBob and Patrick]''
:'''Zoo Worker #1''': You boys better get out of this area, pronto! There's nothing more dangerous than an emotionally disturbed oyster. ''[The worker points menacingly at SpongeBob]'' You didn't do anything that might have caused this horrible tragedy, did you?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Uh...
:'''Patrick''':  No way! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant. Right, SpongeBob?
:''[SpongeBob hides the peanut bag]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Right. ''[SpongeBob lets out a nervous shriek]''
:''[Clamu chomps on a piece of metal. Cut to Patrick and SpongeBob leaving the zoo]''
:'''Patrick''': If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like &quot;you&quot; and &quot;are&quot;, and... &quot;a jerk&quot;!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zoo Worker #1''': Mr. Krabs has stolen a very important item from the oyster. [rips off Mr. Krabs' clothes by accident] Behold! ''[the crowd gets disgusted]'' Wait a minute... ''[reveals Clamu's pearl]'' Behold! The oyster's pearl! ''[The crowd gasps in shock; the zoo worker then gives the pearl to Clamu]'' Here you go, girl.
:''[Clamu sniffs her pearl and the crowd cheers. But suddenly, the pearl starts to crack. And to everyone's amazement, it hatches into a baby oyster.]''
:'''Baby Oyster''': Mama! Mama!
:'''SpongeBob''': Mother of pearl! The oyster's a mother! And that pearl's no pearl, it's an egg!
:'''Baby Oyster''': Mama!
:'''Clamu''': Aww!
:''[The baby oyster and Clamu embrace each other.]''
:'''All''': Awww... ''[They glare at Mr. Krabs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[nervously]'' But it's... Free Day!
:''[The crowd boos as they throw peanuts at Mr. Krabs, burying him.]''

==Episode 13==
===''[[w:Shanghaied (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Shanghaied (13.1)]]''===
:'''Dutchman''': I’ve been thinking. ''[notices SpongeBob and Patrick]'' Stop bouncing! ''[they both stop]'' This whole crew for eternity thing isn’t working out… It’s not really you so much as it is me…
:'''SpongeBob''': You’re setting us free?
:'''Dutchman''': Well actually, I’m just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! ''[leaves]''

===''[[w:Gary Takes a Bath|Gary Takes a Bath (13.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, tries hypnotizing him]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages!
:''[Images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[walking away]'' Sorry you had to see that.

==Episode 14==
===''[[w:Welcome to the Chum Bucket|Welcome to the Chum Bucket (14.1)]]''===
:'''Robot SpongeBob''': ''[turning on]'' Bee-beep-doodle-le-dee-doo... ''RESPONSE - WHY DON'T YOU ASK ME LATER?''
:'''Plankton''': '''What?! ''WHAT?!?'''''
:'''Robot SpongeBob''': ''GET WELDED.''
:'''Plankton''': ''WAIT, '''I COMMAND YOU MAKE ME A KRABBY PATTY!!'''''
:'''Robot SpongeBob''': ''[while reading some comics and takes a drink from his soda] I DON'T WANNA.''

===''Frankendoodle (14.2)''===
:''[SpongeBob draws a jellyfish in the ground with the giant pencil.]''
:'''SpongeBob''': It's a jellyfish!
:'''Patrick''': Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
:'''SpongeBob''': Huh! Everybody's a critic. ''[Patrick notices the jellyfish drawing is coming to life.]''
:'''Patrick''': SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[oblivious]'' Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
:'''Patrick''': ''[pointing to the jellyfish]'' No, I mean it's swimming away!
:'''SpongeBob''': Do you know what this means, Patrick?
:'''Patrick''': Your art can never hang in a museum.

==Episode 15==
===''The Secret Box (15.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': You may be an open book, SpongeBob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. ''[A thought bubble appears, showing a milk carton falling over and spilling]''

===''[[w:Band Geeks|Band Geeks (15.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[on phone]'' Hello, you've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the– ''[blows clarinet]''
:'''Squilliam Fancyson''': Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old chum?
:'''Squidward''': ''[shocked]'' Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!
:'''Squilliam''': I heard you're playing the cash register now.
:'''Squidward''': Yeah, well, sometimes. How's the unibrow?
:'''Squilliam''': It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big, fancy band now, and we're supposed to play at the Bubble Bowl next week!
:'''Squidward''': The bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu...?
:'''Squilliam''': That's right! I'm living ''your'' dream, Squidward! The problem is I'm busy next week and can't make, so I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.
:'''Squidward''': Oh, I, uh, uh, uh...
:'''Squilliam''': I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now!
:'''Squidward''': ''[angry at the comment] '''HOLD IT!''' [Squilliam perks up as he was about to hang up]'' It just so happens that I ''don't'' sell fast food! I ''do'' have a band, and we're going to play at ''that Bubble Bowl''! How do you like ''that'', Fancy'''''Boy?!'''''
:'''Squilliam''': Good luck next Tuesday! I hope the audience brings lots of... ''IBUPROFEN! [hangs up]''

==Episode 16==
===''[[w:Graveyard Shift (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Graveyard Shift (16.1)]]''===
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Isn't this great, Squidward? Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours, and then the sun will come up, and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working! ''[gasps]'' It'll be just like a sleepover, only we'll be sweaty and covered with ''grease''! Are you ready to rock, Squidward?!
:'''Squidward''': No.
:'''SpongeBob''': Good! 'Cause we got customers!
:'''Squidward''': Here. ''[hands a baseball bat to a customer]'' Please hit me as hard as you can.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Squidward. I'm working in the kitchen… ''[giggles]'' At night.
:'''Squidward''': ''[tilts his head sideways to the customer with the bat]'' Don't hold back.

===''[[w:Krusty Love|Krusty Love (16.2)]]''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $49.0... 8? That's a penny short! ''[cries]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh no, not a penny. Help, somebody help us.

==Episode 17==
===''Procrastination (17.1)''===
:'''Mail Fish''': Package for Mr. Squarepants.
:'''SpongeBob''': Great! Thanks. ''[trying to strike up a conversation]'' So, uh, you like delivering mail?
:'''Mail Fish''': It puts bread on the table.
:'''SpongeBob''': Rye or pumpernickel? ''[laughs]''
:'''Mail Fish''': Oh, brother.
:'''SpongeBob''': So, do you deliver your own mail, or do you have your own mail person? But then who delivers ''his'' mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O. box could in theory break the chain--
:'''Mail Fish''': ''[interrupting]'' Don't you have a paper to write?

===''[[w:I'm with Stupid (SpongeBob SquarePants)|I'm with Stupid (17.2)]]''===
:'''Patrick''': You know something, SpongeBob? It's all fun and games for you. Nothing really matters. ''[sarcastically]'' &quot;Oh, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do.&quot; ''[angrily]'' Life's just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews! And nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe… ''[getting increasingly worked up]'' ...Or ''FABRICATE!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gently]'' But Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate. 
:''[Patrick looks at SpongeBob for a split second, then falls at his feet and breaks down into tears]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You've forgotten how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel.
:'''Patrick''': No it's not that, SpongeBob. It's worse!
:'''SpongeBob''': Darn, I like the funnel.

==Episode 18==
===''[[w:Sailor Mouth|Sailor Mouth (18.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow, 13.
:'''Patrick''': That's a lot of bad words. ''[dolphin noise]''

===''Artist Unknown (18.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Now repeat after me. I have no talent.
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;I have no talent.&quot;
:'''Squidward''': Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.&quot;
:'''Squidward''': If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent will rub off on me.
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent... will rub his tentacles... on my art.&quot; ''[Pause]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[unenthusiastically]'' Whatever.

==Episode 19==
===''Jellyfish Hunter (19.1)''=== 
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What don't you understand about &quot;More&quot;!? ''[multiple of SpongeBobs are watching jellyfishes]'' More! More! More. More. More! More. More! ''[He grimaces and demands more]'' More, more, more, more, more! ''MOOOOORE!!! [Cut to night. A sign reading &quot;Jellyfish Fields: Population 4 is seen. The word &quot;000,000&quot; is crossed out]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, there's no more! Now, ''that's'' jellyfishing!

===''The Fry Cook Games (19.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': D'oh, come on, you're just flipping Patties.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds! ''[Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise]'' Why don't you go home, Patrick? You can compete in the &quot;Laying Under a Rock All Day&quot; Games!
:'''Patrick''': ''[shocked]'' Well, at least, I don't polish my fingernails!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' You take that back! ''[a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]'' 
:'''Patrick''': ''[mocking]'' Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!
:'''SpongeBob''': You don't even have fingernails!
:'''Patrick''': ''[shocked]'' I cannot believe what I am hearing!
:'''SpongeBob''': How can you hear it? You don't have ears either!
:'''Patrick''': ''[thinking of a way to say something about SpongeBob then spots his holes]'' Er... Holes, holes!
:'''SpongeBob''': Conehead!
:'''Patrick''': Yellow!
:'''SpongeBob''': Pink!

==Episode 20==
===''Squid on Strike (20.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Nobody cares about the fate of laborers as long as they can get their instant gratification.

===''Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm (20.2)''===
:'''Sandy''': Who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom? ''[pulls a live-action boat down underwater by its anchor]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You are.
:'''Sandy''': And who put the, hiyah-hah-huah, &quot;''K''&quot; in &quot;karate&quot;?!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[body is shaped like a &quot;U&quot;] You'' did.
:'''Sandy''': And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis? ''[SpongeBob's backside reads &quot;Property of Sandy Cheeks&quot;]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You do.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 2)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] '''2''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
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&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''[[w:Your Shoe's Untied|Your Shoe's Untied (1.1)]]''===
:'''Patrick''': ''[SpongeBob's feet are stomped into the floor of the Krusty Krab]'' SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?
:'''SpongeBob''': Heh, well, a sponge has to look his spongiest.

===''Squid's Day Off (1.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy.

==Episode 2==
===''[[w:Something Smells|Something Smells (2.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud!
:'''Squidward''': Is that what he calls it?

===''Bossy Boots (2.2)''===
:'''Pearl''': SpongeBob, what do you like better? The Kutie Krab...or the Kooky Krab?
:'''Squidward''': For what, dare I ask?
:'''Pearl''': The new name for our new look. I mean, &quot;The Krusty Krab&quot; has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is crusty? Bleh!
:'''Squidward''': Well, sure it's a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, SpongeBob?
:'''SpongeBob''': I got it! How about The Khaotic Krab?
:'''Pearl''': Hmm... how about The Kissy Krab? ''[smooches]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[dressed as a king]'' The King Krab.
:'''Pearl''': ''[holds up a lollipop]'' The Kandy Krab!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[dressed in hip hop clothes]'' The Kool Krab. 
:''[dressed as a cowboy]'' Or the Kowboy Krab! 
:''[stretched out]'' The Kurly Krab! 
:''[dressed as a mad scientist]'' The Kreepy Krab!
:''[dressed as a crazy killer jungle man]'' The Killer Krab!
:'''Pearl''': ''[groans]'' NO!
:'''SpongeBob''': You're right, too scary.
:''[pause]''
:'''SpongeBob and Pearl''': The Kuddly Krab! ''[hug and laugh]''

==Episode 3==
===''Big Pink Loser (3.1)''===
:''[Patrick showing SpongeBob his award]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading award caption]'' &quot;For outstanding achievement in achievement&quot; - 'SpongeBob SquarePants'?
:'''Patrick''': &quot;SpongeBob SquarePants&quot;? That's a funny way to spell my name.
:'''SpongeBob''': Uh, Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.
:'''Patrick''': ''[sadly]'' But, it's shiny! ''[starts to cry]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, but, you know what else is shiny?
:'''Patrick''': Ice cream!
:'''SpongeBob''': Exactly!
:'''Patrick''': I can find it! Is it in here?
:'''SpongeBob''': No, don't! That's my-- ''[Patrick opens the door and an enormous pile of trophies tumble out]'' ...award closet.
:'''Patrick''': '''''I WANT AN AWARD!'''''

===''Bubble Buddy (3.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, no pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes ''carnival style!'' And if there is anything else I can do, '''please hesitate''' to ask!

==Episode 4==
===''Dying For Pie (4.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, are you ready?
:'''Squidward''': To go home?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day!
:'''Squidward''': Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register, and take orders, and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards ''that guy! [points to SpongeBob]''
&lt;hr width =50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Squidward''': WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, since we've finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one. I already filled up this book with ideas. (''holds up a book that says Friends 4ever'') We should be able to finish by January.
:'''Squidward''': (''slaps book away'') FORGET THE BOOK! I spent the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous things because ''you'' were supposed to explode!
:'''SpongeBob''': You want me to explode?
:'''Squidward''': Yes, that's what I've been waiting for!
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, I'll try. (''yells'') GARY, YOU ARE GONNA FINISH YOUR DESSERT, AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT! (''laughs'') Now it's your turn.
:'''Squidward''': (''yells, hops up and down furiously'') THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU BARNACLE HEAD!
:'''SpongeBob''': (''claps'') Oo, good one.
:'''Squidward''': NO! You're supposed to explode into a million pieces! (''flaps his arms'')
:'''SpongeBob''': Why would I do that?
:'''Squidward''': Because that pie you ate was a bomb!
:'''SpongeBob''': What pie?
:'''Squidward''': The one I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks, and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it...THAT PIE!
:'''SpongeBob''': Pie...pie...oh, you mean this pie! I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. Let's eat! (''trips on a rock'') Oops!
[''The pie flies into Squidward's face in slow motion, causing an explosion in Bikini Bottom the size of an atomic bomb'']
:'''Squidward''': Ouch.

===''Imitation Krabs (4.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': I thought you wanted to ask me a question.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[angrily]'' Yes, why aren't you working ''harder?!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[blankly]'' I don't know, Mr. Krabs. I don't know...

==Episode 5==
===''Wormy (5.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': That's it. I'm getting off the loony express.

===''Patty Hype (5.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Patrick, are you angry too?
:'''Patrick''': Yeah!
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter?
:'''Patrick''': I can't see my forehead!

==Episode 6==
===''Grandma's Kisses (6.1)''===
:'''Grandma''': You don't have to be a baby to get all of Grandma's love.
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't?
:'''Grandma''': Of course not. No matter how big you get, you will always be my little baby boo, and remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult.

===''Squidville (6.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this is the final straw. I'm going to move so far away that I will be able to brag about it. I would... ''[a piece of debris from his house falls on his head]'' I would rather tear out my brain-stem, carry it out into the middle of the nearest 4-way intersection, and skip rope with it, than go on living where I do now.
:''[A TV falls on the ground]''
:'''Announcer:''' Hi, there! Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain-stem, walk out to the middle of the nearest 3-way–
:'''Squidward:''' ''4''-way!
:'''Announcer:''' ''4''-way intersection and skip rope with it, than continue living where you do now? Then move to–
:'''Patrick:''' ''[suddenly changes the channel to a static screen]'' I ''hate'' this channel.
:'''Squidward:''' NO, ''NO!'' ''[changes it back]''
:'''Announcer:''' ...Tentacle Acres! Where happiness is just a suction cup away!

==Episode 7==
===''Pre-Hibernation Week (7.1)''===
:''[Sandy finds SpongeBob's clothes hanging off of a bush]''
:'''Sandy''': SpongeBob's tie... and all his other little dressins?  But... SpongeBob always folds his clothes before running around... '''IN THE ''NUDE!''''' Something terrible must have happened to him!

===''Life of Crime (7.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': I wanna go home.
:'''SpongeBob:''' We can never go home, Pat; We’re wanted men. We’ll spend the rest of our lives running... running, but at least it’s warmer on the fire.
:'''Patrick''': Hey, if we’re underwater, how could there be a...? ''[The fire dissolves]'' I’m scared, SpongeBob.

==[[w:Christmas Who?|''Christmas Who?'' (Episode 8)]]==
:'''Squidward''': I can't believe anyone would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts.
:'''Patrick''': Like a genie.

==Episode 9==
===''Survival of the Idiots (9.1)''===
:'''Spongebob''': ''[as &quot;Dirty Dan&quot;; in a southern voice]'' Alright Pinhead, your time is up.
:'''Patrick''': ''[as &quot;Pinhead Larry&quot;; with a looney, bucktooth face]'' Who you callin' Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan!
:'''SpongeBob''': What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?
:'''Patrick''': I'm Dirty... ''[SpongeBob hits him with a baseball bat made of snow]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I say I'm Dirty Dan.
:'''Patrick''': ''[rushes to get a spiked-bat made of snow]'' I say ''I'm'' Dirty Dan!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[hits Patrick]'' I say I'm Dirty Dan.
:'''Patrick''': ''[hits SpongeBob]'' I'm Dirty Dan!
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm Dirty Dan!
:'''Patrick''': I'm Dirty Dan!
:''[They continue to hit each other while saying &quot;I'm Dirty Dan!&quot;]''

===''Dumped (9.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': Would it be all right if Gary and I did some laundry over here?
:'''SpongeBob''': Laundry? But ''we'' used to do laundry!
:'''Patrick''': And, uh... SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[on the verge of breaking down]'' Soap? But ''we'' used to use soap! ''[holds up two different types of soap]'' Do you want Fresh Scent or Heavy Du-Du-Du...?
:'''Patrick''': Here it comes.
:'''SpongeBob''': ...Du-Du-- ''[crying]'' --Tty-yyy-yyy!?!

==Episode 10==
===''No Free Rides (10.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': 6.
:'''SpongeBob''': Whoo! And how many do I need to pass?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': 6.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[bending over and rising up very slowly]'' Whoo–
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Hundred.
:'''SpongeBob''': Wha?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': 6''00''. You need 600 to pass. You got 6.

===''I'm Your Biggest Fanatic (10.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!
:'''Kevin''': So were they. ''[points down to some fans he has managed to get rid of, trapped at the bottom of the ledge at a campfire]''
:'''Fish''': Hey, look everyone! Kevin's back! ''[they cheer]''

==Episode 11==
===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III (11.1)''===
:''[Man Ray sits on the floor with a hand over his face, pretending to cry]''
:'''Man Ray''': Boo-hoo-hoo! Oh, sob...! Oh, cry...! ''[peeks through his fingers to see if SpongeBob and Patrick are watching]'' Oh, woe is me! You don't know what it's like, being evil for so long! Oh, how I wish to be good! If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency!
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick beam at one another]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''We'' could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go!
:'''Man Ray''': Oh, that would be fantastic! ''[to himself]'' I'll fake my way through this, just like I did in high school.

===''Squirrel Jokes (11.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb?
:'''Fish''': Why?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Because, they're so darn stupid!

==Episode 12==
===''Pressure (12.1)''===
:'''Sandy''': I'm a squirrel. See? ''[points to the acorn logo on her suit]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I thought that meant you were nuts.

===''[[w:The Smoking Peanut|The Smoking Peanut (12.2)]]''===
:'''Zoo Worker #1''': What's wrong with Clamu?
:'''Joe''': Easy, girl! It's me, Joe! Remember?
:''[Clamu snarls as if it sounds like a belch and uses her tongue to throw Joe out of Oyster Stadium. Patrick and a nervous SpongeBob wait at the stands]''
:'''Patrick''':  Now, this is a show!
:''[Outside...]''
:'''Announcer''': Attention, zoo patrons! Clamu, the giant oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles. ''[everybody runs for their lives and screams]'' Thanks for coming.
:''[In the stadium, Clamu is still smashing things and making snarling belch noises. The zoo worker goes up to SpongeBob and Patrick]''
:'''Zoo Worker #1''': You boys better get out of this area, pronto! There's nothing more dangerous than an emotionally disturbed oyster. ''[The worker points menacingly at SpongeBob]'' You didn't do anything that might have caused this horrible tragedy, did you?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Uh...
:'''Patrick''':  No way! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant. Right, SpongeBob?
:''[SpongeBob hides the peanut bag]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Right. ''[SpongeBob lets out a nervous shriek]''
:''[Clamu chomps on a piece of metal. Cut to Patrick and SpongeBob leaving the zoo]''
:'''Patrick''': If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like &quot;you&quot; and &quot;are&quot;, and... &quot;a jerk&quot;!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zoo Worker #1''': Mr. Krabs has stolen a very important item from the oyster. [rips off Mr. Krabs' clothes by accident] Behold! ''[the crowd gets disgusted]'' Wait a minute... ''[reveals Clamu's pearl]'' Behold! The oyster's pearl! ''[The crowd gasps in shock; the zoo worker then gives the pearl to Clamu]'' Here you go, girl.
:''[Clamu sniffs her pearl and the crowd cheers. But suddenly, the pearl starts to crack. And to everyone's amazement, it hatches into a baby oyster.]''
:'''Baby Oyster''': Mama! Mama!
:'''SpongeBob''': Mother of pearl! The oyster's a mother! And that pearl's no pearl, it's an egg!
:'''Baby Oyster''': Mama!
:'''Clamu''': Aww!
:''[The baby oyster and Clamu embrace each other.]''
:'''All''': Awww... ''[They glare at Mr. Krabs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[nervously]'' But it's... Free Day!
:''[The crowd boos as they throw peanuts at Mr. Krabs, burying him.]''

==Episode 13==
===''[[w:Shanghaied (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Shanghaied (13.1)]]''===
:'''Dutchman''': I’ve been thinking. ''[notices SpongeBob and Patrick]'' Stop bouncing! ''[they both stop]'' This whole crew for eternity thing isn’t working out… It’s not really you so much as it is me…
:'''SpongeBob''': You’re setting us free?
:'''Dutchman''': Well actually, I’m just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! ''[leaves]''

===''[[w:Gary Takes a Bath|Gary Takes a Bath (13.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, tries hypnotizing him]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages!
:''[Images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[walking away]'' Sorry you had to see that.

==Episode 14==
===''[[w:Welcome to the Chum Bucket|Welcome to the Chum Bucket (14.1)]]''===
:'''Robot SpongeBob''': ''[turning on]'' Bee-beep-doodle-le-dee-doo... ''RESPONSE - WHY DON'T YOU ASK ME LATER?''
:'''Plankton''': '''What?! ''WHAT?!?'''''
:'''Robot SpongeBob''': ''GET WELDED.''
:'''Plankton''': ''WAIT, '''I COMMAND YOU MAKE ME A KRABBY PATTY!!'''''
:'''Robot SpongeBob''': ''[while reading some comics and takes a drink from his soda] I DON'T WANNA.''

===''Frankendoodle (14.2)''===
:''[SpongeBob draws a jellyfish in the ground with the giant pencil.]''
:'''SpongeBob''': It's a jellyfish!
:'''Patrick''': Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
:'''SpongeBob''': Huh! Everybody's a critic. ''[Patrick notices the jellyfish drawing is coming to life.]''
:'''Patrick''': SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[oblivious]'' Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
:'''Patrick''': ''[pointing to the jellyfish]'' No, I mean it's swimming away!
:'''SpongeBob''': Do you know what this means, Patrick?
:'''Patrick''': Your art can never hang in a museum.

==Episode 15==
===''The Secret Box (15.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': You may be an open book, SpongeBob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. ''[A thought bubble appears, showing a milk carton falling over and spilling]''

===''[[w:Band Geeks|Band Geeks (15.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[on phone]'' Hello, you've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the– ''[blows clarinet]''
:'''Squilliam Fancyson''': Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old chum?
:'''Squidward''': ''[shocked]'' Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!
:'''Squilliam''': I heard you're playing the cash register now.
:'''Squidward''': Yeah, well, sometimes. How's the unibrow?
:'''Squilliam''': It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big, fancy band now, and we're supposed to play at the Bubble Bowl next week!
:'''Squidward''': The bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu...?
:'''Squilliam''': That's right! I'm living ''your'' dream, Squidward! The problem is I'm busy next week and can't make, so I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.
:'''Squidward''': Oh, I, uh, uh, uh...
:'''Squilliam''': I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now!
:'''Squidward''': ''[angry at the comment] '''HOLD IT!''' [Squilliam perks up as he was about to hang up]'' It just so happens that I ''don't'' sell fast food! I ''do'' have a band, and we're going to play at ''that Bubble Bowl''! How do you like ''that'', Fancy'''''Boy?!'''''
:'''Squilliam''': Good luck next Tuesday! I hope the audience brings lots of... ''IBUPROFEN! [hangs up]''

==Episode 16==
===''[[w:Graveyard Shift (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Graveyard Shift (16.1)]]''===
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Isn't this great, Squidward? Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours, and then the sun will come up, and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working! ''[gasps]'' It'll be just like a sleepover, only we'll be sweaty and covered with ''grease''! Are you ready to rock, Squidward?!
:'''Squidward''': No.
:'''SpongeBob''': Good! 'Cause we got customers!
:'''Squidward''': Here. ''[hands a baseball bat to a customer]'' Please hit me as hard as you can.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Squidward. I'm working in the kitchen… ''[giggles]'' At night.
:'''Squidward''': ''[tilts his head sideways to the customer with the bat]'' Don't hold back.

===''[[w:Krusty Love|Krusty Love (16.2)]]''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $49.0... 8? That's a penny short! ''[cries]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh no, not a penny. Help, somebody help us.

==Episode 17==
===''Procrastination (17.1)''===
:'''Mail Fish''': Package for Mr. Squarepants.
:'''SpongeBob''': Great! Thanks. ''[trying to strike up a conversation]'' So, uh, you like delivering mail?
:'''Mail Fish''': It puts bread on the table.
:'''SpongeBob''': Rye or pumpernickel? ''[laughs]''
:'''Mail Fish''': Oh, brother.
:'''SpongeBob''': So, do you deliver your own mail, or do you have your own mail person? But then who delivers ''his'' mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O. box could in theory break the chain--
:'''Mail Fish''': ''[interrupting]'' Don't you have a paper to write?

===''[[w:I'm with Stupid (SpongeBob SquarePants)|I'm with Stupid (17.2)]]''===
:'''Patrick''': You know something, SpongeBob? It's all fun and games for you. Nothing really matters. ''[sarcastically]'' &quot;Oh, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do.&quot; ''[angrily]'' Life's just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews! And nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe… ''[getting increasingly worked up]'' ...Or ''FABRICATE!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gently]'' But Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate. 
:''[Patrick looks at SpongeBob for a split second, then falls at his feet and breaks down into tears]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You've forgotten how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel.
:'''Patrick''': No it's not that, SpongeBob. It's worse!
:'''SpongeBob''': Darn, I like the funnel.

==Episode 18==
===''[[w:Sailor Mouth|Sailor Mouth (18.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow, 13.
:'''Patrick''': That's a lot of bad words. ''[dolphin noise]''

===''Artist Unknown (18.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Now repeat after me. I have no talent.
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;I have no talent.&quot;
:'''Squidward''': Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.&quot;
:'''Squidward''': If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent will rub off on me.
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent... will rub his tentacles... on my art.&quot; ''[Pause]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[unenthusiastically]'' Whatever.

==Episode 19==
===''Jellyfish Hunter (19.1)''=== 
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What don't you understand about &quot;More&quot;!? ''[multiple of SpongeBobs are watching jellyfishes]'' More! More! More. More. More! More. More! ''[He grimaces and demands more]'' More, more, more, more, more! ''MOOOOORE!!! [Cut to night. A sign reading &quot;Jellyfish Fields: Population 4 is seen. The word &quot;000,000&quot; is crossed out]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, there's no more! Now, ''that's'' jellyfishing!

===''The Fry Cook Games (19.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': D'oh, come on, you're just flipping Patties.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds! ''[Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise]'' Why don't you go home, Patrick? You can compete in the &quot;Laying Under a Rock All Day&quot; Games!
:'''Patrick''': ''[shocked]'' Well, at least, I don't polish my fingernails!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' You take that back! ''[a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]'' 
:'''Patrick''': ''[mocking]'' Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!
:'''SpongeBob''': You don't even have fingernails!
:'''Patrick''': ''[shocked]'' I cannot believe what I am hearing!
:'''SpongeBob''': How can you hear it? You don't have ears either!
:'''Patrick''': ''[thinking of a way to say something about SpongeBob then spots his holes]'' Er... Holes, holes!
:'''SpongeBob''': Conehead!
:'''Patrick''': Yellow!
:'''SpongeBob''': Pink!

==Episode 20==
===''Squid on Strike (20.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Nobody cares about the fate of laborers as long as they can get their instant gratification.

===''Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm (20.2)''===
:'''Sandy''': Who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom? ''[pulls a live-action boat down underwater by its anchor]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You are.
:'''Sandy''': And who put the, hiyah-hah-huah, &quot;''K''&quot; in &quot;karate&quot;?!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[body is shaped like a &quot;U&quot;] You'' did.
:'''Sandy''': And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis? ''[SpongeBob's backside reads &quot;Property of Sandy Cheeks&quot;]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You do.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 2)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]</text>
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        <ip>108.29.85.180</ip>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] '''2''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''[[w:Your Shoe's Untied|Your Shoe's Untied (1.1)]]''===
:'''Patrick''': ''[SpongeBob's feet are stomped into the floor of the Krusty Krab]'' SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?
:'''SpongeBob''': Heh, well, a sponge has to look his spongiest.

===''Squid's Day Off (1.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy.

==Episode 2==
===''[[w:Something Smells|Something Smells (2.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud!
:'''Squidward''': Is that what he calls it?

===''Bossy Boots (2.2)''===
:'''Pearl''': SpongeBob, what do you like better? The Kutie Krab...or the Kooky Krab?
:'''Squidward''': For what, dare I ask?
:'''Pearl''': The new name for our new look. I mean, &quot;The Krusty Krab&quot; has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is crusty? Bleh!
:'''Squidward''': Well, sure it's a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, SpongeBob?
:'''SpongeBob''': I got it! How about The Khaotic Krab?
:'''Pearl''': Hmm... how about The Kissy Krab? ''[smooches]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[dressed as a king]'' The King Krab.
:'''Pearl''': ''[holds up a lollipop]'' The Kandy Krab!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[dressed in hip hop clothes]'' The Kool Krab. 
:''[dressed as a cowboy]'' Or the Kowboy Krab! 
:''[stretched out]'' The Kurly Krab! 
:''[dressed as a mad scientist]'' The Kreepy Krab!
:''[dressed as a crazy killer jungle man]'' The Killer Krab!
:'''Pearl''': ''[groans]'' NO!
:'''SpongeBob''': You're right, too scary.
:''[pause]''
:'''SpongeBob and Pearl''': The Kuddly Krab! ''[hug and laugh]''

==Episode 3==
===''Big Pink Loser (3.1)''===
:''[Patrick showing SpongeBob his award]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading award caption]'' &quot;For outstanding achievement in achievement&quot; - 'SpongeBob SquarePants'?
:'''Patrick''': &quot;SpongeBob SquarePants&quot;? That's a funny way to spell my name.
:'''SpongeBob''': Uh, Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.
:'''Patrick''': ''[sadly]'' But, it's shiny! ''[starts to cry]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, but, you know what else is shiny?
:'''Patrick''': Ice cream!
:'''SpongeBob''': Exactly!
:'''Patrick''': I can find it! Is it in here?
:'''SpongeBob''': No, don't! That's my-- ''[Patrick opens the door and an enormous pile of trophies tumble out]'' ...award closet.
:'''Patrick''': '''''I WANT AN AWARD!''''' 

Is this the Krusty Krab? 

What’s so great about being a big pink loser?

===''Bubble Buddy (3.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, no pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes ''carnival style!'' And if there is anything else I can do, '''please hesitate''' to ask!

==Episode 4==
===''Dying For Pie (4.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, are you ready?
:'''Squidward''': To go home?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day!
:'''Squidward''': Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register, and take orders, and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards ''that guy! [points to SpongeBob]''
&lt;hr width =50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Squidward''': WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, since we've finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one. I already filled up this book with ideas. (''holds up a book that says Friends 4ever'') We should be able to finish by January.
:'''Squidward''': (''slaps book away'') FORGET THE BOOK! I spent the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous things because ''you'' were supposed to explode!
:'''SpongeBob''': You want me to explode?
:'''Squidward''': Yes, that's what I've been waiting for!
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, I'll try. (''yells'') GARY, YOU ARE GONNA FINISH YOUR DESSERT, AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT! (''laughs'') Now it's your turn.
:'''Squidward''': (''yells, hops up and down furiously'') THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU BARNACLE HEAD!
:'''SpongeBob''': (''claps'') Oo, good one.
:'''Squidward''': NO! You're supposed to explode into a million pieces! (''flaps his arms'')
:'''SpongeBob''': Why would I do that?
:'''Squidward''': Because that pie you ate was a bomb!
:'''SpongeBob''': What pie?
:'''Squidward''': The one I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks, and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it...THAT PIE!
:'''SpongeBob''': Pie...pie...oh, you mean this pie! I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. Let's eat! (''trips on a rock'') Oops!
[''The pie flies into Squidward's face in slow motion, causing an explosion in Bikini Bottom the size of an atomic bomb'']
:'''Squidward''': Ouch.

===''Imitation Krabs (4.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': I thought you wanted to ask me a question.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[angrily]'' Yes, why aren't you working ''harder?!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[blankly]'' I don't know, Mr. Krabs. I don't know...

==Episode 5==
===''Wormy (5.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': That's it. I'm getting off the loony express.

===''Patty Hype (5.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Patrick, are you angry too?
:'''Patrick''': Yeah!
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter?
:'''Patrick''': I can't see my forehead!

==Episode 6==
===''Grandma's Kisses (6.1)''===
:'''Grandma''': You don't have to be a baby to get all of Grandma's love.
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't?
:'''Grandma''': Of course not. No matter how big you get, you will always be my little baby boo, and remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult.

===''Squidville (6.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this is the final straw. I'm going to move so far away that I will be able to brag about it. I would... ''[a piece of debris from his house falls on his head]'' I would rather tear out my brain-stem, carry it out into the middle of the nearest 4-way intersection, and skip rope with it, than go on living where I do now.
:''[A TV falls on the ground]''
:'''Announcer:''' Hi, there! Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain-stem, walk out to the middle of the nearest 3-way–
:'''Squidward:''' ''4''-way!
:'''Announcer:''' ''4''-way intersection and skip rope with it, than continue living where you do now? Then move to–
:'''Patrick:''' ''[suddenly changes the channel to a static screen]'' I ''hate'' this channel.
:'''Squidward:''' NO, ''NO!'' ''[changes it back]''
:'''Announcer:''' ...Tentacle Acres! Where happiness is just a suction cup away!

==Episode 7==
===''Pre-Hibernation Week (7.1)''===
:''[Sandy finds SpongeBob's clothes hanging off of a bush]''
:'''Sandy''': SpongeBob's tie... and all his other little dressins?  But... SpongeBob always folds his clothes before running around... '''IN THE ''NUDE!''''' Something terrible must have happened to him!

===''Life of Crime (7.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': I wanna go home.
:'''SpongeBob:''' We can never go home, Pat; We’re wanted men. We’ll spend the rest of our lives running... running, but at least it’s warmer on the fire.
:'''Patrick''': Hey, if we’re underwater, how could there be a...? ''[The fire dissolves]'' I’m scared, SpongeBob.

==[[w:Christmas Who?|''Christmas Who?'' (Episode 8)]]==
:'''Squidward''': I can't believe anyone would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts.
:'''Patrick''': Like a genie.

==Episode 9==
===''Survival of the Idiots (9.1)''===
:'''Spongebob''': ''[as &quot;Dirty Dan&quot;; in a southern voice]'' Alright Pinhead, your time is up.
:'''Patrick''': ''[as &quot;Pinhead Larry&quot;; with a looney, bucktooth face]'' Who you callin' Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan!
:'''SpongeBob''': What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?
:'''Patrick''': I'm Dirty... ''[SpongeBob hits him with a baseball bat made of snow]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I say I'm Dirty Dan.
:'''Patrick''': ''[rushes to get a spiked-bat made of snow]'' I say ''I'm'' Dirty Dan!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[hits Patrick]'' I say I'm Dirty Dan.
:'''Patrick''': ''[hits SpongeBob]'' I'm Dirty Dan!
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm Dirty Dan!
:'''Patrick''': I'm Dirty Dan!
:''[They continue to hit each other while saying &quot;I'm Dirty Dan!&quot;]''

===''Dumped (9.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': Would it be all right if Gary and I did some laundry over here?
:'''SpongeBob''': Laundry? But ''we'' used to do laundry!
:'''Patrick''': And, uh... SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[on the verge of breaking down]'' Soap? But ''we'' used to use soap! ''[holds up two different types of soap]'' Do you want Fresh Scent or Heavy Du-Du-Du...?
:'''Patrick''': Here it comes.
:'''SpongeBob''': ...Du-Du-- ''[crying]'' --Tty-yyy-yyy!?!

==Episode 10==
===''No Free Rides (10.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': 6.
:'''SpongeBob''': Whoo! And how many do I need to pass?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': 6.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[bending over and rising up very slowly]'' Whoo–
:'''Mrs. Puff''': Hundred.
:'''SpongeBob''': Wha?
:'''Mrs. Puff''': 6''00''. You need 600 to pass. You got 6.

===''I'm Your Biggest Fanatic (10.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!
:'''Kevin''': So were they. ''[points down to some fans he has managed to get rid of, trapped at the bottom of the ledge at a campfire]''
:'''Fish''': Hey, look everyone! Kevin's back! ''[they cheer]''

==Episode 11==
===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III (11.1)''===
:''[Man Ray sits on the floor with a hand over his face, pretending to cry]''
:'''Man Ray''': Boo-hoo-hoo! Oh, sob...! Oh, cry...! ''[peeks through his fingers to see if SpongeBob and Patrick are watching]'' Oh, woe is me! You don't know what it's like, being evil for so long! Oh, how I wish to be good! If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency!
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick beam at one another]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''We'' could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go!
:'''Man Ray''': Oh, that would be fantastic! ''[to himself]'' I'll fake my way through this, just like I did in high school.

===''Squirrel Jokes (11.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb?
:'''Fish''': Why?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Because, they're so darn stupid!

==Episode 12==
===''Pressure (12.1)''===
:'''Sandy''': I'm a squirrel. See? ''[points to the acorn logo on her suit]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I thought that meant you were nuts.

===''[[w:The Smoking Peanut|The Smoking Peanut (12.2)]]''===
:'''Zoo Worker #1''': What's wrong with Clamu?
:'''Joe''': Easy, girl! It's me, Joe! Remember?
:''[Clamu snarls as if it sounds like a belch and uses her tongue to throw Joe out of Oyster Stadium. Patrick and a nervous SpongeBob wait at the stands]''
:'''Patrick''':  Now, this is a show!
:''[Outside...]''
:'''Announcer''': Attention, zoo patrons! Clamu, the giant oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles. ''[everybody runs for their lives and screams]'' Thanks for coming.
:''[In the stadium, Clamu is still smashing things and making snarling belch noises. The zoo worker goes up to SpongeBob and Patrick]''
:'''Zoo Worker #1''': You boys better get out of this area, pronto! There's nothing more dangerous than an emotionally disturbed oyster. ''[The worker points menacingly at SpongeBob]'' You didn't do anything that might have caused this horrible tragedy, did you?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Uh...
:'''Patrick''':  No way! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant. Right, SpongeBob?
:''[SpongeBob hides the peanut bag]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Right. ''[SpongeBob lets out a nervous shriek]''
:''[Clamu chomps on a piece of metal. Cut to Patrick and SpongeBob leaving the zoo]''
:'''Patrick''': If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like &quot;you&quot; and &quot;are&quot;, and... &quot;a jerk&quot;!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zoo Worker #1''': Mr. Krabs has stolen a very important item from the oyster. [rips off Mr. Krabs' clothes by accident] Behold! ''[the crowd gets disgusted]'' Wait a minute... ''[reveals Clamu's pearl]'' Behold! The oyster's pearl! ''[The crowd gasps in shock; the zoo worker then gives the pearl to Clamu]'' Here you go, girl.
:''[Clamu sniffs her pearl and the crowd cheers. But suddenly, the pearl starts to crack. And to everyone's amazement, it hatches into a baby oyster.]''
:'''Baby Oyster''': Mama! Mama!
:'''SpongeBob''': Mother of pearl! The oyster's a mother! And that pearl's no pearl, it's an egg!
:'''Baby Oyster''': Mama!
:'''Clamu''': Aww!
:''[The baby oyster and Clamu embrace each other.]''
:'''All''': Awww... ''[They glare at Mr. Krabs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[nervously]'' But it's... Free Day!
:''[The crowd boos as they throw peanuts at Mr. Krabs, burying him.]''

==Episode 13==
===''[[w:Shanghaied (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Shanghaied (13.1)]]''===
:'''Dutchman''': I’ve been thinking. ''[notices SpongeBob and Patrick]'' Stop bouncing! ''[they both stop]'' This whole crew for eternity thing isn’t working out… It’s not really you so much as it is me…
:'''SpongeBob''': You’re setting us free?
:'''Dutchman''': Well actually, I’m just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! ''[leaves]''

===''[[w:Gary Takes a Bath|Gary Takes a Bath (13.2)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, tries hypnotizing him]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages!
:''[Images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[walking away]'' Sorry you had to see that.

==Episode 14==
===''[[w:Welcome to the Chum Bucket|Welcome to the Chum Bucket (14.1)]]''===
:'''Robot SpongeBob''': ''[turning on]'' Bee-beep-doodle-le-dee-doo... ''RESPONSE - WHY DON'T YOU ASK ME LATER?''
:'''Plankton''': '''What?! ''WHAT?!?'''''
:'''Robot SpongeBob''': ''GET WELDED.''
:'''Plankton''': ''WAIT, '''I COMMAND YOU MAKE ME A KRABBY PATTY!!'''''
:'''Robot SpongeBob''': ''[while reading some comics and takes a drink from his soda] I DON'T WANNA.''

===''Frankendoodle (14.2)''===
:''[SpongeBob draws a jellyfish in the ground with the giant pencil.]''
:'''SpongeBob''': It's a jellyfish!
:'''Patrick''': Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
:'''SpongeBob''': Huh! Everybody's a critic. ''[Patrick notices the jellyfish drawing is coming to life.]''
:'''Patrick''': SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[oblivious]'' Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
:'''Patrick''': ''[pointing to the jellyfish]'' No, I mean it's swimming away!
:'''SpongeBob''': Do you know what this means, Patrick?
:'''Patrick''': Your art can never hang in a museum.

==Episode 15==
===''The Secret Box (15.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': You may be an open book, SpongeBob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. ''[A thought bubble appears, showing a milk carton falling over and spilling]''

===''[[w:Band Geeks|Band Geeks (15.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[on phone]'' Hello, you've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the– ''[blows clarinet]''
:'''Squilliam Fancyson''': Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old chum?
:'''Squidward''': ''[shocked]'' Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!
:'''Squilliam''': I heard you're playing the cash register now.
:'''Squidward''': Yeah, well, sometimes. How's the unibrow?
:'''Squilliam''': It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big, fancy band now, and we're supposed to play at the Bubble Bowl next week!
:'''Squidward''': The bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu...?
:'''Squilliam''': That's right! I'm living ''your'' dream, Squidward! The problem is I'm busy next week and can't make, so I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.
:'''Squidward''': Oh, I, uh, uh, uh...
:'''Squilliam''': I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now!
:'''Squidward''': ''[angry at the comment] '''HOLD IT!''' [Squilliam perks up as he was about to hang up]'' It just so happens that I ''don't'' sell fast food! I ''do'' have a band, and we're going to play at ''that Bubble Bowl''! How do you like ''that'', Fancy'''''Boy?!'''''
:'''Squilliam''': Good luck next Tuesday! I hope the audience brings lots of... ''IBUPROFEN! [hangs up]''

==Episode 16==
===''[[w:Graveyard Shift (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Graveyard Shift (16.1)]]''===
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Isn't this great, Squidward? Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours, and then the sun will come up, and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working! ''[gasps]'' It'll be just like a sleepover, only we'll be sweaty and covered with ''grease''! Are you ready to rock, Squidward?!
:'''Squidward''': No.
:'''SpongeBob''': Good! 'Cause we got customers!
:'''Squidward''': Here. ''[hands a baseball bat to a customer]'' Please hit me as hard as you can.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Squidward. I'm working in the kitchen… ''[giggles]'' At night.
:'''Squidward''': ''[tilts his head sideways to the customer with the bat]'' Don't hold back.

===''[[w:Krusty Love|Krusty Love (16.2)]]''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $49.0... 8? That's a penny short! ''[cries]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh no, not a penny. Help, somebody help us.

==Episode 17==
===''Procrastination (17.1)''===
:'''Mail Fish''': Package for Mr. Squarepants.
:'''SpongeBob''': Great! Thanks. ''[trying to strike up a conversation]'' So, uh, you like delivering mail?
:'''Mail Fish''': It puts bread on the table.
:'''SpongeBob''': Rye or pumpernickel? ''[laughs]''
:'''Mail Fish''': Oh, brother.
:'''SpongeBob''': So, do you deliver your own mail, or do you have your own mail person? But then who delivers ''his'' mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O. box could in theory break the chain--
:'''Mail Fish''': ''[interrupting]'' Don't you have a paper to write?

===''[[w:I'm with Stupid (SpongeBob SquarePants)|I'm with Stupid (17.2)]]''===
:'''Patrick''': You know something, SpongeBob? It's all fun and games for you. Nothing really matters. ''[sarcastically]'' &quot;Oh, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do.&quot; ''[angrily]'' Life's just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews! And nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe… ''[getting increasingly worked up]'' ...Or ''FABRICATE!''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gently]'' But Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate. 
:''[Patrick looks at SpongeBob for a split second, then falls at his feet and breaks down into tears]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You've forgotten how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel.
:'''Patrick''': No it's not that, SpongeBob. It's worse!
:'''SpongeBob''': Darn, I like the funnel.

==Episode 18==
===''[[w:Sailor Mouth|Sailor Mouth (18.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow, 13.
:'''Patrick''': That's a lot of bad words. ''[dolphin noise]''

===''Artist Unknown (18.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Now repeat after me. I have no talent.
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;I have no talent.&quot;
:'''Squidward''': Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.&quot;
:'''Squidward''': If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent will rub off on me.
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent... will rub his tentacles... on my art.&quot; ''[Pause]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[unenthusiastically]'' Whatever.

==Episode 19==
===''Jellyfish Hunter (19.1)''=== 
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What don't you understand about &quot;More&quot;!? ''[multiple of SpongeBobs are watching jellyfishes]'' More! More! More. More. More! More. More! ''[He grimaces and demands more]'' More, more, more, more, more! ''MOOOOORE!!! [Cut to night. A sign reading &quot;Jellyfish Fields: Population 4 is seen. The word &quot;000,000&quot; is crossed out]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, there's no more! Now, ''that's'' jellyfishing!

===''The Fry Cook Games (19.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': D'oh, come on, you're just flipping Patties.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds! ''[Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise]'' Why don't you go home, Patrick? You can compete in the &quot;Laying Under a Rock All Day&quot; Games!
:'''Patrick''': ''[shocked]'' Well, at least, I don't polish my fingernails!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' You take that back! ''[a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]'' 
:'''Patrick''': ''[mocking]'' Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!
:'''SpongeBob''': You don't even have fingernails!
:'''Patrick''': ''[shocked]'' I cannot believe what I am hearing!
:'''SpongeBob''': How can you hear it? You don't have ears either!
:'''Patrick''': ''[thinking of a way to say something about SpongeBob then spots his holes]'' Er... Holes, holes!
:'''SpongeBob''': Conehead!
:'''Patrick''': Yellow!
:'''SpongeBob''': Pink!

==Episode 20==
===''Squid on Strike (20.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Nobody cares about the fate of laborers as long as they can get their instant gratification.

===''Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm (20.2)''===
:'''Sandy''': Who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom? ''[pulls a live-action boat down underwater by its anchor]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You are.
:'''Sandy''': And who put the, hiyah-hah-huah, &quot;''K''&quot; in &quot;karate&quot;?!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[body is shaped like a &quot;U&quot;] You'' did.
:'''Sandy''': And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis? ''[SpongeBob's backside reads &quot;Property of Sandy Cheeks&quot;]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You do.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 2)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
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  <page>
    <title>SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3</title>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] '''3''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''The Algae’s Always Greener (1.1)''===
:'''hector con carne''': What? It’s just an ordinary Kearny- Oh, my goodness! Squidward!

===''old flame (1.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': well well hector the flame is boring 
:'''hector''': lava warning please hold.

==Episode 2==
===''the visit (2.1)''===
:'''dee dee''': hello spongebob that a moment stupid not smart genius with other eds 
:'''spongebob''': what?
:'''dee dee''': come on 
:'''spongebob''': if you happy you até not evil


Dee dee: i have this evil yes!


Spongebob: look at yourself! The time hole incident you stay with happy


Dee dee: i am happy thank you spongebob

===''My Pretty Seahorse (2.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Believe me, boy. I know what its like to lose a friend.
:'''SpongeBob''': Really, Mr. Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I was five years old, me father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar...loved it like a brother.
:'''SpongeBob''': What happened to the dollar, Mr. Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Then one day, at the beach, ''[starts to sob]'' IT WAS SO HOOOOT... and I was so thirsty, I spent it on a soda...! Uhhuhhuhhuh... MY BEST FRIEND!!!

==Episode 3==
===''Just One Bite (3.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, everyone! Squidward says he doesn't like Krabby Patties! Haw!
:''[Everyone laughs]''
:'''Squidward''': Don't encourage them! They'll never leave.
:'''SpongeBob''': Sorry, Squidward, it's just so funny! You know what we say.
:'''Customers''': ...&quot;The only people, who don't like a Krabby Patty, have never tasted one&quot;!

===''The Bully (3.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi. I'm SpongeBob!
:'''Flats''': Hi, SpongeBob. I'm gonna kick your butt.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps, then giggles]'' That joke was almost funnier the second time!
:'''Flats''': No, ''I mean it.''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[giggles again]'' That time it almost seemed like... ''[Flats tears off his chest hair revealing &quot;I MEAN IT&quot;.]'' You really ''did'' mean it.

==Episode 4==
===''Nasty Patty (4.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we oughta tell our guy about the phony impostor.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': You loony loofah, he is the impostor! We've been duped!
:'''SpongeBob''': Duped!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bamboozled! 
:'''SpongeBob''': We've been smeckledorfed!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': That's not even a word and I agree with ya!

===''[[w:Idiot Box (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Idiot Box (4.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': How are you doing that?
:'''SpongeBob''': First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet.
:'''Squidward''': The noises! How are you two making those noises?
:'''Patrick''': Well, that's easy. All you need is a box.
:'''SpongeBob''': And... ''imagination! [forms a rainbow with his hands]''
:'''Squidward''': Are you trying to say I have no imagination?! I have more... ''&quot;imagination&quot;'' in 1 tentacle than you 2 have in your whole bodies!
:'''Patrick''': That's good! Now all you need is a box.

==Episode 5==
=== ''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV (5.1)'' ===
:''[The two are trying to reverse the effects of a shrink ray on Mermaid Man's utility belt]''
:'''Patrick''': You know what the problem is?
:'''SpongeBob''': What?
:'''Patrick''': You got it set to &quot;M&quot; for &quot;mini&quot;... ''[turns the &quot;M&quot; on the belt upside down]'' ...When it should be set to &quot;W&quot; for &quot;wumbo&quot;!
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I don't think &quot;wumbo&quot; is a real word.
:'''Patrick''': Come on! You know. I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me, wumbo! Wumbo, wumboing ...
:'''Squidward''': ''[thinking]'' I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me.
:'''Patrick''': ...Wumbology - the study of wumbo?! It's first grade, Spongebob!
:'''Spongebob''': Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you.

===''Doing Time (5.2)''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to rob the bank]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Alright! Put the money. ''In. The. Bag!'' PUT IT IN!
:'''Bank Teller''': Umm, you're facing the wrong way, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[turns around, laughing] '''ALRIGHT, GIVE ME THE MONEY!!!'''''
:'''Bank Teller''': Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?
:'''SpongeBob''': Uhh, savings.
:'''Bank Teller''': May I please see some identification?
:'''SpongeBob''': Sure. ''[gives him a card]'' Here ya go.
:'''Bank Teller''': Thank you. ''[The card is shown to be SpongeBob's Jellyfishers Club Membership card; SpongeBob gives Patrick a thumbs up]'' Sir, we are showing a balance of $0.00 for both of your accounts.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh.
:'''Bank Teller''': Next!

==Episode 6==
===''Snowball Effect (6.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward! You're just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and we'll defeat the Pink Menace!
:'''Patrick''': That's me!
:'''Squidward''': Thanks but no thanks Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me!

===''One Krab's Trash (6.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': That looks like a toilet plunger I threw out yesterday!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': That ain't no toilet plunger! This here's an antique! It's, um... uh... ''[turns the rubber part of the plunger upside-down]'' ...A 17th-century soup ladle, see?
:'''Patrick''': Wow, was I using mine wrong! How much?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $5.
:'''Patrick''': I've only got $7.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Deal.
:'''Patrick''': Patrick Star, you are one smart shopper.

==Episode 7==
===''As Seen on T.V. (7.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What in Neptune's name is going on?!
:'''Squidward''': We're making the commercial, Mr. Krabs.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What you're doing is throwing away me money! I told you to rent, only, what is absolutely necessary!
:'''Squidward''': This is all necessary!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Then what's that useless junk?!
:'''Squidward''': That's the useless junk for scene, uh... 28.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh well, then how do you explain ''that?'' ''[sees another Krusty Krab]'' A second Krusty Krab?!
:'''Squidward''': Mr. Krabs, ''everyone'' needs an understudy!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, you got me there. But why do we need him? ''[points to a clownfish]''
:'''Squidward''': This job gets very stressful, Mr. Krabs.﻿

===''Can You Spare a Dime? (7.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[to SpongeBob, after quitting]'' You know, there's something I've been wanting to tell you from the day we first met - goodbye.

==Episode 8==
===''No Weenies Allowed (8.1)''===
:'''Sandy''': Back in Texas, we call ice cream &quot;frozen cow juice.&quot;

===''Squilliam Returns (8.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Don't be intimidated, Squidward. Try to imagine him in his underwear. ''[He imagines Squilliam as a hot underwear model.]'' OH NO, HE'S HOT!

==Episode 9==
===''Krab Borg (9.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': There you go! Enjoy your– Say, you're not a robot, are you?
:'''Customer''': No... I'm not.
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, keep your eyes peeled. ''They're everywhere.''
:'''Squidward''': We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs, but how?
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, in the movie the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot.
:'''Squidward''': They poop on the robot?
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask questions, get information.
:'''Squidward''': I never thought I'd say this, but, SpongeBob, let's get that poop!

===''Rock-a-Bye Bivalve (9.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, breakfast is ready.
:'''Patrick''': All right. All this parenting stuff makes me hungry. ''[lifts the table to gobble up food, then burps]'' Hey, Junior. How you doing today? ''[smells the stink]'' SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yes, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': Kid's got a stinky.
:'''SpongeBob''': Can you take care of him? My hands are kind of full.
:'''Patrick''': ''[Drinks a coffee while Junior begins to cry]'' Wish I could, but I'm gotta get going.
:'''SpongeBob''': Going? Where are you going?
:'''Patrick''': Going to work. I'm the dad, remember?
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean I have to do this baby stuff myself?
:'''Patrick''': I'll give you the break when I get home. Don't you stop being adorable. ''[laughs as he close the door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay…

==Episode 10==
===''Wet Painters (10.1)''===
:''[SpongeBob dips his brush into one of the cans of paint and tentatively approaches one of the walls]''
:'''SpongeBob''': All right, Patrick, let's get started painting this wall, with the permanent paint that we're not allowed to get on anything but the wall! Well... here we go. ''[A time card reading &quot;One hour later&quot; appears on the screen]''
:'''Narrator''': One hour later...
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[sweating profusely]'' Just a few more seconds of mental preparation, and I'll be painting this wall. ''[The next time card reads &quot;Two hours later&quot;]''
:'''Narrator''': Two hours later... ''[SpongeBob is still standing in the same spot, and not a drop of paint has touched the wall]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm getting to the painting. ''[The next time card reads &quot;Three hours later&quot;]''
:'''Narrator''': Three hours later...
:'''Patrick''': ''[pulls the time card out of the scene]'' Could you move it along? I'm all out of time cards.

===''Krusty Krab Training Video (10.2)''===
:'''Narrator''': But for every good employee, there is one who is ''not'' so good. ''[about Squidward]'' Let's see, inattentive, impatient, a glazed look in the eyes. Look carefully at the &quot;I Really Wish I Weren't Here Right Now!&quot; button. There's a name for employees like this, but we'll call him... &quot;Squidward&quot;.

==''[[w:Party Pooper Pants|Party Pooper Pants (Episode 11)]]''==
:'''Patrick''': ''[reading his name tag that says, &quot;HELLO, MY NAME IS PATRICK&quot; upside down]'' Kirtap si eman, Y, M, O, 77, eh. I don't get it.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': No, you dumb bunny! It says &quot;Hello, my name is Patrick&quot;!
:'''Patrick''': ''[shakes his hand]'' Nice to meet you, Patrick!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[looking at discussion cards]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What does yours say, Plankton?
:'''Plankton''': Um... Oh, yes. &quot;Discuss the secret formula for the Krabby Patty.&quot; ''[the card actually reads, &quot;Where are you from?&quot;]'' Ahem... How interesting.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Nice try, Plankton.

==Episode 12==
===''[[w:Chocolate with Nuts|Chocolate with Nuts (12.1)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob rings the doorbell and the same con-artist who sold them a bunch of candy bar bags appears.]''
:'''Con-artist''': Yes?
:'''SpongeBob''': Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?
:'''Con-artist''': I don't recall, but it looks to me that you boys have a lot of bags there. You two ladykillers are too smart to be without one of my ''patented'' candy-bar-bag-carrying bags.
:'''Patrick''': We'll take 20!

===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V (12.2)''===
:'''Barnacle Boy:''' I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra!

==Episode 13==
===''[[w:New Student Starfish|New Student Starfish (13.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[holding in laughter]'' Patrick.
: '''Patrick''': ''[also holding in laughter]'' What?
:'''SpongeBob''': I thought of something funnier then 24.
:'''Patrick''': Let me hear it.
:'''SpongeBob''': 25.

==''Ugh (Episode 14)''==
:'''Patchy''': Like I was saying, prehistoric times were the greatest. It was a simpler time with simpler pleasures. Your clothes always match. [cut to Patchy with a paintbrush] You can draw on the walls and nobody would yell at ya. ''[holds up a club]'' It was much easier to hit a baseball. Oh yeah, prehistoric times were the best.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Narrator''': Hooray. It looks like our prehistoric pals have just discovered fire, but they will soon learn that when you play with fire, you may get burned. Stay tuned.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Potty''': Just When to Show you, there's no hard feelings and i got you a present from prehistoric times.
:'''Patchy''': Oh, What is It, A New Loincloth?
:'''Potty''': No.
:'''Patchy''': An Enlarged Forehead?
:'''Potty''': No.
:'''Patchy''': Oh, What is it? [Potty opens the door, the dinosaur roars to the screen, he screams, eyes turn big, then turned small and runs away]

==Episode 15==
===''[[w:The Great Snail Race|The Great Snail Race (15.1)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Snelly's a purebred.
:'''Patrick''': Wow, a snail made out of bread!

===''[[w:Mid-Life Crustacean|Mid-Life Crustacean (15.2)]]''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': You guys wouldn't know a good time if it bit you in the aft! I'm going home! You guys ain't cool, you're ''lame!''!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Lame?!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Lame! You're NERDS! GEEKS! CREEPS! And BABIES!
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Not 'babies!' ''[suck their thumbs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I may be old, but even an old bag of shells like me knows that you haven't suggested one cool thing all night! So good night to ya! ''[starts to leave]''
:'''Patrick''': I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': The what?
:'''Patrick''': I said, &quot;I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.&quot;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': &quot;Panty raid&quot;? ''[walks back to them]'' You're talkin' about girls, right? ''[pause]'' Girl girls...?
:'''Patrick''': Yeah.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': And you're talking about raiding their dressers... for their underpants, right?
:'''Patrick''': Oh, yeah.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, count me in! If this works, I'll take back what I said about you two bein' lame!
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''Not lame!''

==Episode 16==
===''Born Again Krabs (16.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait just a burger-flipping second! ''[Flying Dutchman turns around]''
:'''The Flying Dutchman''': ''[angrily]'' Who dares back-sass the Flying Dutchman!?!
:'''SpongeBob''': That would be me: SpongeBob BacksassPants.

===''I Had an Accident (16.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Sandy. Watch me do the Grouchy Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': Stop naming moves after me.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[imitating Squidward]'' Everyone's an idiot except for me!
:'''Squidward''': Well, it's true. ''[drinks tea]''

==Episode 17==
===''Krabby Land (17.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': You said you would bring Krabby the Clown. But all I saw out there was... Cheapy the Cheapskate!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey, I ain't cheap! ''[rubs the clown nose on his shirt, which turns red]'' Now, put this tomato in the oven before it spoils.

===''[[w:The Camping Episode|The Camping Episode (17.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are going to stew up some twigs and rocks.
:'''SpongeBob''': Nope, we've got something even better! Marshmallows! ''[holds up a bag of marshmallows, takes one and eats it]'' Mmmm-mmmm! Just like the astronauts eat!

==Episode 18==
===''Plankton's Army (18.1)''===
:'''Plankton''': Can I have the secret formula?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': No.
:'''Plankton''': Okay. ''[walks away]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[voiceover]'' But he was persistent!
:'''Plankton''': ''[comes back]'' Pretty please?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Uh-uh.

===''Missing Identity (18.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''The most important meal of the day; serving it up Gary's way!'' Baa! Enjoy buddy. Hmm, you know, I've been feeding this to Gary for years and I don't even know what it tastes like. ''[tastes the snail food; his face turns green]'' Bleah! *Echos*
:''[In snail food headquarters]''
:'''Woman''': What is it, Peterson?
:'''Peterson''': I don't know, I feel... a disturbance.

==''[[w:The Sponge Who Could Fly|The Sponge Who Could Fly (Episode 19)]]''==
:'''Narrator''': Last week, a never-before-seen episode of SpongeBob SquarePants was discovered under a desk at Nickelodeon Studios. Now all the world is waiting in fevered anticipation to watch the SpongeBob SquarePants Lost Episode. ''[an aerial shot of the town appears]'' Now, to present the Lost Episode, from Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Patchy''': That's it? That's the Lost Episode? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!
:'''Potty''': What a rip.
:'''Patchy''': SpongeBob betrayed us! ''[throws away SpongeBob merchandise]'' I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place. I'm gonna get rid of all my SpongeBob stuff. All of it! All of it! All of it! I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do, run away! ''[runs out the door crying] ''
:'''Potty''': Sheesh, what a hothead.
:'''Announcer''': And now, the ''real'' lost episode!
:'''Potty''': Patchy, come back! There's more!
:'''Patchy''': Really? ''[shuts the door while reentering again, quickly going in reverse, completely undoing his rage, then sits back down]'' Hooray! Let's watch!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;Local nutcase tries to fly&quot;?! I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams? Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs, too!
:'''Fish''': No, they didn't. 

==Episode 20==

===''SpongeBob Meets the Strangler (20.1)''===

:'''SpongeBob''': ''[looking at the clock]'' Wait for it…
:'''Computer Voice''': On Time Percentage - 100%
:'''Squidward''': Another day, another migraine. ''[laughs]'' Mi–
:'''Computer Voice''': On Time Percentage - 12%
:'''Squidward''': –graine.

===''Pranks a Lot (20.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow, invisible spray!
:'''Patrick''': ''[looking confused]'' But I can see it.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>2vipygm2ygvwc21q1mtnfqw9t8eww36</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149207</id>
      <parentid>3149206</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:42:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>108.29.85.180</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* One Krab's Trash (6.2) */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="18336" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] '''3''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''The Algae’s Always Greener (1.1)''===
:'''hector con carne''': What? It’s just an ordinary Kearny- Oh, my goodness! Squidward!

===''old flame (1.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': well well hector the flame is boring 
:'''hector''': lava warning please hold.

==Episode 2==
===''the visit (2.1)''===
:'''dee dee''': hello spongebob that a moment stupid not smart genius with other eds 
:'''spongebob''': what?
:'''dee dee''': come on 
:'''spongebob''': if you happy you até not evil


Dee dee: i have this evil yes!


Spongebob: look at yourself! The time hole incident you stay with happy


Dee dee: i am happy thank you spongebob

===''My Pretty Seahorse (2.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Believe me, boy. I know what its like to lose a friend.
:'''SpongeBob''': Really, Mr. Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I was five years old, me father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar...loved it like a brother.
:'''SpongeBob''': What happened to the dollar, Mr. Krabs?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Then one day, at the beach, ''[starts to sob]'' IT WAS SO HOOOOT... and I was so thirsty, I spent it on a soda...! Uhhuhhuhhuh... MY BEST FRIEND!!!

==Episode 3==
===''Just One Bite (3.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, everyone! Squidward says he doesn't like Krabby Patties! Haw!
:''[Everyone laughs]''
:'''Squidward''': Don't encourage them! They'll never leave.
:'''SpongeBob''': Sorry, Squidward, it's just so funny! You know what we say.
:'''Customers''': ...&quot;The only people, who don't like a Krabby Patty, have never tasted one&quot;!

===''The Bully (3.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi. I'm SpongeBob!
:'''Flats''': Hi, SpongeBob. I'm gonna kick your butt.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps, then giggles]'' That joke was almost funnier the second time!
:'''Flats''': No, ''I mean it.''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[giggles again]'' That time it almost seemed like... ''[Flats tears off his chest hair revealing &quot;I MEAN IT&quot;.]'' You really ''did'' mean it.

==Episode 4==
===''Nasty Patty (4.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we oughta tell our guy about the phony impostor.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': You loony loofah, he is the impostor! We've been duped!
:'''SpongeBob''': Duped!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bamboozled! 
:'''SpongeBob''': We've been smeckledorfed!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': That's not even a word and I agree with ya!

===''[[w:Idiot Box (SpongeBob SquarePants)|Idiot Box (4.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': How are you doing that?
:'''SpongeBob''': First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet.
:'''Squidward''': The noises! How are you two making those noises?
:'''Patrick''': Well, that's easy. All you need is a box.
:'''SpongeBob''': And... ''imagination! [forms a rainbow with his hands]''
:'''Squidward''': Are you trying to say I have no imagination?! I have more... ''&quot;imagination&quot;'' in 1 tentacle than you 2 have in your whole bodies!
:'''Patrick''': That's good! Now all you need is a box.

==Episode 5==
=== ''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV (5.1)'' ===
:''[The two are trying to reverse the effects of a shrink ray on Mermaid Man's utility belt]''
:'''Patrick''': You know what the problem is?
:'''SpongeBob''': What?
:'''Patrick''': You got it set to &quot;M&quot; for &quot;mini&quot;... ''[turns the &quot;M&quot; on the belt upside down]'' ...When it should be set to &quot;W&quot; for &quot;wumbo&quot;!
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I don't think &quot;wumbo&quot; is a real word.
:'''Patrick''': Come on! You know. I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me, wumbo! Wumbo, wumboing ...
:'''Squidward''': ''[thinking]'' I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me.
:'''Patrick''': ...Wumbology - the study of wumbo?! It's first grade, Spongebob!
:'''Spongebob''': Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you.

===''Doing Time (5.2)''===
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to rob the bank]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Alright! Put the money. ''In. The. Bag!'' PUT IT IN!
:'''Bank Teller''': Umm, you're facing the wrong way, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[turns around, laughing] '''ALRIGHT, GIVE ME THE MONEY!!!'''''
:'''Bank Teller''': Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?
:'''SpongeBob''': Uhh, savings.
:'''Bank Teller''': May I please see some identification?
:'''SpongeBob''': Sure. ''[gives him a card]'' Here ya go.
:'''Bank Teller''': Thank you. ''[The card is shown to be SpongeBob's Jellyfishers Club Membership card; SpongeBob gives Patrick a thumbs up]'' Sir, we are showing a balance of $0.00 for both of your accounts.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh.
:'''Bank Teller''': Next!

==Episode 6==
===''Snowball Effect (6.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward! You're just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and we'll defeat the Pink Menace!
:'''Patrick''': That's me!
:'''Squidward''': Thanks but no thanks Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me!

===''One Krab's Trash (6.2)''===
:'''Patrick''': That looks like a toilet plunger I threw out yesterday!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': That ain't no toilet plunger! This here's an antique! It's, um... uh... ''[turns the rubber part of the plunger upside-down]'' ...A 17th-century soup ladle, see?
:'''Patrick''': Wow, was I using mine wrong! How much?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $5.
:'''Patrick''': I've only got $7.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Deal.
:'''Patrick''': Patrick Star, you are one smart shopper. 

I’m prepared to give you $500 for that drink-hat. 

Here lies Squidward’s hopes and dreams.

==Episode 7==
===''As Seen on T.V. (7.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What in Neptune's name is going on?!
:'''Squidward''': We're making the commercial, Mr. Krabs.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What you're doing is throwing away me money! I told you to rent, only, what is absolutely necessary!
:'''Squidward''': This is all necessary!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Then what's that useless junk?!
:'''Squidward''': That's the useless junk for scene, uh... 28.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh well, then how do you explain ''that?'' ''[sees another Krusty Krab]'' A second Krusty Krab?!
:'''Squidward''': Mr. Krabs, ''everyone'' needs an understudy!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, you got me there. But why do we need him? ''[points to a clownfish]''
:'''Squidward''': This job gets very stressful, Mr. Krabs.﻿

===''Can You Spare a Dime? (7.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': ''[to SpongeBob, after quitting]'' You know, there's something I've been wanting to tell you from the day we first met - goodbye.

==Episode 8==
===''No Weenies Allowed (8.1)''===
:'''Sandy''': Back in Texas, we call ice cream &quot;frozen cow juice.&quot;

===''Squilliam Returns (8.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': Don't be intimidated, Squidward. Try to imagine him in his underwear. ''[He imagines Squilliam as a hot underwear model.]'' OH NO, HE'S HOT!

==Episode 9==
===''Krab Borg (9.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': There you go! Enjoy your– Say, you're not a robot, are you?
:'''Customer''': No... I'm not.
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, keep your eyes peeled. ''They're everywhere.''
:'''Squidward''': We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs, but how?
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, in the movie the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot.
:'''Squidward''': They poop on the robot?
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask questions, get information.
:'''Squidward''': I never thought I'd say this, but, SpongeBob, let's get that poop!

===''Rock-a-Bye Bivalve (9.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, breakfast is ready.
:'''Patrick''': All right. All this parenting stuff makes me hungry. ''[lifts the table to gobble up food, then burps]'' Hey, Junior. How you doing today? ''[smells the stink]'' SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yes, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': Kid's got a stinky.
:'''SpongeBob''': Can you take care of him? My hands are kind of full.
:'''Patrick''': ''[Drinks a coffee while Junior begins to cry]'' Wish I could, but I'm gotta get going.
:'''SpongeBob''': Going? Where are you going?
:'''Patrick''': Going to work. I'm the dad, remember?
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean I have to do this baby stuff myself?
:'''Patrick''': I'll give you the break when I get home. Don't you stop being adorable. ''[laughs as he close the door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay…

==Episode 10==
===''Wet Painters (10.1)''===
:''[SpongeBob dips his brush into one of the cans of paint and tentatively approaches one of the walls]''
:'''SpongeBob''': All right, Patrick, let's get started painting this wall, with the permanent paint that we're not allowed to get on anything but the wall! Well... here we go. ''[A time card reading &quot;One hour later&quot; appears on the screen]''
:'''Narrator''': One hour later...
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[sweating profusely]'' Just a few more seconds of mental preparation, and I'll be painting this wall. ''[The next time card reads &quot;Two hours later&quot;]''
:'''Narrator''': Two hours later... ''[SpongeBob is still standing in the same spot, and not a drop of paint has touched the wall]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm getting to the painting. ''[The next time card reads &quot;Three hours later&quot;]''
:'''Narrator''': Three hours later...
:'''Patrick''': ''[pulls the time card out of the scene]'' Could you move it along? I'm all out of time cards.

===''Krusty Krab Training Video (10.2)''===
:'''Narrator''': But for every good employee, there is one who is ''not'' so good. ''[about Squidward]'' Let's see, inattentive, impatient, a glazed look in the eyes. Look carefully at the &quot;I Really Wish I Weren't Here Right Now!&quot; button. There's a name for employees like this, but we'll call him... &quot;Squidward&quot;.

==''[[w:Party Pooper Pants|Party Pooper Pants (Episode 11)]]''==
:'''Patrick''': ''[reading his name tag that says, &quot;HELLO, MY NAME IS PATRICK&quot; upside down]'' Kirtap si eman, Y, M, O, 77, eh. I don't get it.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': No, you dumb bunny! It says &quot;Hello, my name is Patrick&quot;!
:'''Patrick''': ''[shakes his hand]'' Nice to meet you, Patrick!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[looking at discussion cards]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What does yours say, Plankton?
:'''Plankton''': Um... Oh, yes. &quot;Discuss the secret formula for the Krabby Patty.&quot; ''[the card actually reads, &quot;Where are you from?&quot;]'' Ahem... How interesting.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Nice try, Plankton.

==Episode 12==
===''[[w:Chocolate with Nuts|Chocolate with Nuts (12.1)]]''===
:''[SpongeBob rings the doorbell and the same con-artist who sold them a bunch of candy bar bags appears.]''
:'''Con-artist''': Yes?
:'''SpongeBob''': Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?
:'''Con-artist''': I don't recall, but it looks to me that you boys have a lot of bags there. You two ladykillers are too smart to be without one of my ''patented'' candy-bar-bag-carrying bags.
:'''Patrick''': We'll take 20!

===''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V (12.2)''===
:'''Barnacle Boy:''' I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra!

==Episode 13==
===''[[w:New Student Starfish|New Student Starfish (13.1)]]''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[holding in laughter]'' Patrick.
: '''Patrick''': ''[also holding in laughter]'' What?
:'''SpongeBob''': I thought of something funnier then 24.
:'''Patrick''': Let me hear it.
:'''SpongeBob''': 25.

==''Ugh (Episode 14)''==
:'''Patchy''': Like I was saying, prehistoric times were the greatest. It was a simpler time with simpler pleasures. Your clothes always match. [cut to Patchy with a paintbrush] You can draw on the walls and nobody would yell at ya. ''[holds up a club]'' It was much easier to hit a baseball. Oh yeah, prehistoric times were the best.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Narrator''': Hooray. It looks like our prehistoric pals have just discovered fire, but they will soon learn that when you play with fire, you may get burned. Stay tuned.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Potty''': Just When to Show you, there's no hard feelings and i got you a present from prehistoric times.
:'''Patchy''': Oh, What is It, A New Loincloth?
:'''Potty''': No.
:'''Patchy''': An Enlarged Forehead?
:'''Potty''': No.
:'''Patchy''': Oh, What is it? [Potty opens the door, the dinosaur roars to the screen, he screams, eyes turn big, then turned small and runs away]

==Episode 15==
===''[[w:The Great Snail Race|The Great Snail Race (15.1)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Snelly's a purebred.
:'''Patrick''': Wow, a snail made out of bread!

===''[[w:Mid-Life Crustacean|Mid-Life Crustacean (15.2)]]''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': You guys wouldn't know a good time if it bit you in the aft! I'm going home! You guys ain't cool, you're ''lame!''!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Lame?!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Lame! You're NERDS! GEEKS! CREEPS! And BABIES!
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Not 'babies!' ''[suck their thumbs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I may be old, but even an old bag of shells like me knows that you haven't suggested one cool thing all night! So good night to ya! ''[starts to leave]''
:'''Patrick''': I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': The what?
:'''Patrick''': I said, &quot;I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.&quot;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': &quot;Panty raid&quot;? ''[walks back to them]'' You're talkin' about girls, right? ''[pause]'' Girl girls...?
:'''Patrick''': Yeah.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': And you're talking about raiding their dressers... for their underpants, right?
:'''Patrick''': Oh, yeah.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, count me in! If this works, I'll take back what I said about you two bein' lame!
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''Not lame!''

==Episode 16==
===''Born Again Krabs (16.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait just a burger-flipping second! ''[Flying Dutchman turns around]''
:'''The Flying Dutchman''': ''[angrily]'' Who dares back-sass the Flying Dutchman!?!
:'''SpongeBob''': That would be me: SpongeBob BacksassPants.

===''I Had an Accident (16.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Sandy. Watch me do the Grouchy Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': Stop naming moves after me.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[imitating Squidward]'' Everyone's an idiot except for me!
:'''Squidward''': Well, it's true. ''[drinks tea]''

==Episode 17==
===''Krabby Land (17.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': You said you would bring Krabby the Clown. But all I saw out there was... Cheapy the Cheapskate!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey, I ain't cheap! ''[rubs the clown nose on his shirt, which turns red]'' Now, put this tomato in the oven before it spoils.

===''[[w:The Camping Episode|The Camping Episode (17.2)]]''===
:'''Squidward''': Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are going to stew up some twigs and rocks.
:'''SpongeBob''': Nope, we've got something even better! Marshmallows! ''[holds up a bag of marshmallows, takes one and eats it]'' Mmmm-mmmm! Just like the astronauts eat!

==Episode 18==
===''Plankton's Army (18.1)''===
:'''Plankton''': Can I have the secret formula?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': No.
:'''Plankton''': Okay. ''[walks away]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[voiceover]'' But he was persistent!
:'''Plankton''': ''[comes back]'' Pretty please?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Uh-uh.

===''Missing Identity (18.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''The most important meal of the day; serving it up Gary's way!'' Baa! Enjoy buddy. Hmm, you know, I've been feeding this to Gary for years and I don't even know what it tastes like. ''[tastes the snail food; his face turns green]'' Bleah! *Echos*
:''[In snail food headquarters]''
:'''Woman''': What is it, Peterson?
:'''Peterson''': I don't know, I feel... a disturbance.

==''[[w:The Sponge Who Could Fly|The Sponge Who Could Fly (Episode 19)]]''==
:'''Narrator''': Last week, a never-before-seen episode of SpongeBob SquarePants was discovered under a desk at Nickelodeon Studios. Now all the world is waiting in fevered anticipation to watch the SpongeBob SquarePants Lost Episode. ''[an aerial shot of the town appears]'' Now, to present the Lost Episode, from Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Patchy''': That's it? That's the Lost Episode? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!
:'''Potty''': What a rip.
:'''Patchy''': SpongeBob betrayed us! ''[throws away SpongeBob merchandise]'' I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place. I'm gonna get rid of all my SpongeBob stuff. All of it! All of it! All of it! I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do, run away! ''[runs out the door crying] ''
:'''Potty''': Sheesh, what a hothead.
:'''Announcer''': And now, the ''real'' lost episode!
:'''Potty''': Patchy, come back! There's more!
:'''Patchy''': Really? ''[shuts the door while reentering again, quickly going in reverse, completely undoing his rage, then sits back down]'' Hooray! Let's watch!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''SpongeBob''': &quot;Local nutcase tries to fly&quot;?! I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams? Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs, too!
:'''Fish''': No, they didn't. 

==Episode 20==

===''SpongeBob Meets the Strangler (20.1)''===

:'''SpongeBob''': ''[looking at the clock]'' Wait for it…
:'''Computer Voice''': On Time Percentage - 100%
:'''Squidward''': Another day, another migraine. ''[laughs]'' Mi–
:'''Computer Voice''': On Time Percentage - 12%
:'''Squidward''': –graine.

===''Pranks a Lot (20.2)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow, invisible spray!
:'''Patrick''': ''[looking confused]'' But I can see it.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>h61mqvtcbj4jlc806qxqdcucqykh11i</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>177448</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149186</id>
      <parentid>3089454</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:21:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>108.29.85.180</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1) */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35143" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] '''4''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned three movies, followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===&quot;Fear of a Krabby Patty&quot; (1.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Day... ''[record scratch]'' anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
:'''Squidward''': ''[Breathing heavily next to a pile of Krabby Patties]'' '''43...!''' ''[Gasps, as the top of his head expands and shrinks.]''

===&quot;Shell of a Man&quot; (1.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Noooooooo! ''[SpongeBob drops his Krabby Patty]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Mr. Krabs. ''[knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens]'' Hello? Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk]'' You alright? Are you sleepy? ''[pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor, revealing an empty shell]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[sniffs his arm]'' I don't smell his pulse. ''[in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob]'' What's that? ''[figure is behind a barrel]'' Is somebody there?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't look at me! Leave me be!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[throws barrel away]'' You're alive! And naked...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[crying]'' It's true. I've molted.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's molted?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow.

==Episode 2==
===&quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1)===
Argh, me back! 
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs? 

ALL MY MONEY WAS IN THAT MATTRESS!!! 

You blockheads woke the worm.

===&quot;Krabs vs. Plankton&quot; (2.2)===

==[[w:Have You Seen This Snail?|&quot;Have You Seen This Snail?&quot; (Episode 3)]]==

==Episode 4==
===&quot;Skill Crane&quot; (4.1)===
:'''Skill Crane''': ''[distinct scratchy voice]'' Squid... ward. ''[crane swinging back and forth]'' Squid... ward.

===&quot;Good Neighbors&quot; (4.2)===
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furiously turns red and opens the front door]'' Alright, you two! OUT! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick realizing that they are in trouble walk out]'' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow, or next week!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, does that include...
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily screams]'' YES, IT DOES! ''[slams door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
:'''Squidward''': ''[busts head through the door, exploding]'' YES, I WAS!!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! ''[deep breath]'' You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! ''[takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and stomps them into the ground]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
:'''Squidward''': ''[pops his head out of the hole in the middle of the door and explodes again]'' NO, YOU AREN'T!!! You're horrible neighbors! ''[angrily hyperventilates]'' '''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!'''

==Episode 5==
===[[w:Selling Out (SpongeBob SquarePants)|&quot;Selling Out&quot; (5.1)]]===
:'''Carl''': What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
:'''Squidward''': ''[bored]'' &quot;Sincere service with a smile.&quot;
:'''Carl''': Well yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays sprit! Now, Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources. ''[A big buff fish threatens to punch Squidward from behind the HR door]'' Would you? So, what's our motto again?
:'''Squidward''': ''[now nervous]'' Uh...uh. &quot;S-sincere service...&quot; ''[slaps himself and is now trying to look happy]'' &quot;...with a smile!&quot; ''[The HR fish slides back into his room]''
:'''Carl''': Now you're getting it!

===&quot;Funny Pants&quot; (5.2)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
:'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box! ''[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]''
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
:'''Squidward''': ''[taken aback by the revelation]'' Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
:'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?
:'''Squidward''': Yeah. ''[both laugh]'' You really fell for it.
:'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did!
:'''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[stops laughing]'' It's really not that funny, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': It's hilarious!
:'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. ''[goes into his house]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[still laughing]'' Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. ''[his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]'' yahhhh! ''[Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his laughter) and falls flat to the ground, the episode ends while two paramedics come take him to the hospital]''

==[[w:Dunces and Dragons|&quot;Dunces and Dragons&quot; (Episode 6)]]==
:'''SpongeBob''': They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
:'''Patrick''': What's that?
:'''Squidly''': ♪''The evil wizard's dragon is here.'' 
:''See the townsfolk scream with fear.'' 
:''See the townsfolk try to run.''
:''I can tell this won't be fun.'' 
:''The dragon will torch everything.'' 
:''Everything in the valley. Hospitals,'' 
:''schools, retirement homes,''
:''and even ye olde bowling alley.''♪
:'''Citizen''': Not the bowling alley! ''[dragon zaps bowling alley into dust. Citizen bawling]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Patrick? We really are in medieval times!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no, I think I left the water running at home!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Guard''': Right this way.
:'''SpongeBob''': Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, &quot;Righteth this way-eth!&quot;
:'''Guard''': ''[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down]'' Some day, but not today.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[at the guillotine]'' Well, I guess this is it, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, SpongeBob! ''[crying]''
:'''SpongeBob''':  I'll miss you, too, buddy! ''[both sobbing as King Krabs crashes into the guillotine, breaking it. Dragon takes Princess Pearl away]''
:'''Princess Pearl''': Daddy, help!
:'''King Krabs''': Pearl! ''[cries]'' Can no one stop this madness?! ''[sun shines on SpongeBob and Patrick]'' You two, my apologies. ''[kisses their feet]'' Most noble and valiant warriors.
:'''Patrick''': I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob is about to finish off the Dark Knight]''
:'''Dark Knight''': You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't understand a word you just said! ''[laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel, but with the crosses for eyes]'' Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy...? ''[screen turns black then water is thrown onto the Dark Knight]'' Patrick, it's working! Do it again. ''[Patrick gathers spit and spits it upon her]''
:'''Dark Knight''': Thou hath spared me, kind and noble sponge. And to thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Planktonamor and learn a trifle of that karate.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, karate! ''[karate chops Squidly in half]''
:'''Squidly''': Oweth.

==Episode 7==

===&quot;Enemy In-Law&quot; (7.1)===

:'''Plankton''': ''[everyone running around inside]'' Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches, you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. ''[everyone stops in their tracks]''
:'''Nat''': What, you mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
:'''Plankton''': Come on, it's a standard marketing technique. [people leave]
:'''Nat''': You little twerp!
:'''Plankton''': Hey!
:'''Karen''': He's right, ya know.
:'''Plankton''': Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
:'''Karen''': Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
:'''Plankton''': Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
:'''Karen''': Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
:'''Plankton''': Fine, I'm wrong and you're right.
:'''Karen''': You said it, not me. You know, you're lucky to have me.
:'''Plankton''': ''[walking away]'' Why did I ever install that nagging software?
:'''Karen''': &quot;Nagging software&quot;? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman, not a girl in a cold-hearted shell. ''[hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope on her]'' Such beauty. She's an angel, and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart.
:'''Karen''': Plankton, you've fallen in love with another woman!? I'm your wife!
:'''Plankton''': You're a W.I.F.E. ''[pulls out a chart]'' &lt;big&gt;'''W'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|ired}} '''&lt;big&gt;I&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|ntegratred}} &lt;big&gt;'''F'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|emale}} '''&lt;big&gt;E&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|lectroencephalograph}}.
:'''Karen''': Oh, you always pull that one out! &quot;You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!&quot;
:'''Plankton''': ''[sighing]'' Why don't you have an &quot;off&quot; switch? ''[sees it and smiles]''
:'''Karen''': Plankton, don't you dare... ''[turns off]''
:'''Plankton''': And now to woo that beloved creature.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
:'''SpongeBob''': Terribly sorry, sir. ''[pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it]'' Will there be anything else?
:'''Plankton''': Is my tie on straight?
:'''SpongeBob''': You... look FABULOUS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': ''[pulls rose away from his body]'' Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight.
:'''Betsy''': ''[notices Plankton]'' Oh, my. You're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. ''[sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her]'' Tell me about yourself.
:'''Plankton''': Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restaurateur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
:'''Betsy''': Never heard of it.
:'''Plankton''': ''[points to the Chum Bucket]'' It's across the street.
:'''Betsy''': Doesn't ring a bell.
:'''Plankton''' ''[shows her the back of a phone book with a picture of him and the Chum Bucket]'' It's on the back of the phone book! Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad! ''[puts the book away]'' Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
:'''Betsy''': Well...
:'''Eugene''': Plankton!
:'''Plankton''': Krabs!
:'''Betsy''': Eugene!
:'''Eugene''': Mommy?
:'''Plankton''': &quot;Mommy&quot;?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in the air]'' SpongeBob!
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob...!
:'''Plankton''': This delectable creature is your mother?
:'''Eugene''': This no-good conniving chiseler is your date!?
:'''SpongeBob''': And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Eugene''': Mommy? You!
:'''Plankton''': Eugene.
:'''Eugene''': I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
:'''Eugene''': All you like is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
:'''Eugene''': I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
:'''Plankton''': Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
:'''Eugene''': Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! ''[Plankton frowns]'' I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. ''[walks out]''
:'''Plankton''': Not family, eh? I can fix that.

===&quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture&quot; (7.2)===
:'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
:'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! ''[both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car]'' Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
:'''Kelp Thing''': But I must do what I do. ''[jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed]'' Huh? ''[jumps down and then walks away]''
:'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.!

==Episode 8==
===&quot;Patrick SmartPants&quot; (8.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You're back!
:'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back.
:''[They hug each other]''

===&quot;SquidBob TentaclePants&quot; (8.2)===
:'''Sandy''': Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
:'''SpongeBob/Squidward''': Sandy?
:'''Sandy''': One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. 
:''[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet]'' Hmph. ''[plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]''
:'''Mary''': I think I'm going to be sick. 
:''[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]''
:'''Billy''': Ah, I'm out of here!
:'''Squidward''': Huh, no wait. Wait! ''[everyone leaves]'' Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. ''[grabs the Molecular Separator Ray]'' There's got to be some way to reverse this. ''[pushes the button over and over]''
:'''Sandy''': No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, I wouldn't... 
:''[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]''
:'''Therapist''': ''[talking to Squidward]'' So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
:'''Squidward''': It all started... when I was born. 
:''[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]''

==Episode 9==
===&quot;Krusty Towers&quot; (9.1)===
:''[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $15,000!?!
:'''Squidward''': You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
:'''Patrick''': This is a hospital?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
:'''Patrick and SpongeBob''': Hooray!
:'''Squidward''': Oh, boy...

===[[w:Mrs. Puff, You're Fired|&quot;Mrs. Puff, You're Fired&quot; (9.2)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course]'' So, heh... how'd I do?
:'''Roderick''': How'd you do? ''[lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed]'' Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this &quot;''pedestrian''&quot; '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;HOW YOU DID?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''

==Episode 10==
===&quot;Chimps Ahoy&quot; (10.1)===
:'''Patrick''': That's &quot;Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick&quot; to you.

===&quot;Ghost Host&quot; (10.2)===
:'''Flying Dutchman''': Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. ''[flies back up to his ship]'' Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. ''[ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

==Episode 11==
===&quot;Whale of a Birthday&quot; (11.1)===
:'''Pearl''': ''[approaches Mr. Krabs]'' Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap! ''[pops the bubble wrap]'' This year's gonna be a blast!
:'''Pearl''':  Daddy! You've ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ''ruin'' this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap!
Mr. Krabs: ''[gulps]'' I promise.
:'''Pearl''':   Good, because I made a list. ''[list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up]'' Now I want everything on this list at my party. ''[kisses her dad and runs out]'' Bye! I'll be at the mall with my friends. 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''':  Wait, don't leave! My dad got Boys Who Cry to play! You did get Boys Who Cry, right? ''[Glaring crossed-arms at her dad]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it! ''[curtain unfolds as R &amp; B Music begins to play with Squidward standing on the stage]''
:'''Squidward''': Hello, ladies. ''[sings &quot;It's all about you&quot;]''  ''When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-Ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh!''
:'''Friend #2''': Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry!
:'''Judy''': Yeah! ''[Cut to Squidward shaking his rear end]''
:'''Friend #2''': Boo!
:'''Friend #1''': What a rip-off!
:'''Judy''': This stinks!
:'''Pearl''': Daddy, how could you?! I... gave... you... a ''list?!'' ''[runs out crying]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl, come back! ''[crowd throws tomatoes, eggs and Pearl’s meat head at Squidward]''
:'''Pearl''': You've ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me! ''[cries]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Boys Who Cry''': (&quot;It's all about you&quot;) ''It's all about you, girl... on your &lt;big&gt;16&lt;/big&gt;{{small|th}} birthday!&lt;br /&gt;Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.&lt;br /&gt;You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!''

==Episode 12==
===&quot;All That Glitters&quot; (12.1)===
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, we better get back to work.
:'''Spongebob''':''Work?'' How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Use another spatular.
:'''Spongebob''': ''[close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like]'' '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WHAT?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! ''[runs off to the hospital]'' I'm coming, Spat! ''[scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed]'' Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
:''[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]''
:'''Doctor''':  There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. ''[SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around]'' Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.
:'''Spongebob''': Thank you, Doctor.
:'''Doctor''':  Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''':  ''[back in the kitchen]'' One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. ''[tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction]'' Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
:'''Le Spatula''': I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!
:'''Spongebob''': But, but, I thought we were friends?
:'''Le Spatula''':  Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! ''[jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor]'' Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! ''[runs out laughing]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]''
:'''Le Spatula''': How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! ''[spits and runs out]''
:'''Mr Krabs''': What happened?
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties without a spatular?!
:'''SpongeBob''':  I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.
:'''SpongeBob''':  You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.
:'''Mr. Krabs''':Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers! ''[starts to cry]''
:''[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula?? It can't be true! It's too late! ''[cries]''
:'''Doctor''': SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
:'''SpongeBob''': I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! ''[sobs]''
:'''Doctor''': Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'm so sorry. 
:''[SpongeBob cries some more]''
:'''Doctor''': Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. 
:''[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Spatula! 
:''[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! 
:''[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula, what's wrong? 
:''[Spat shakes its head]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!
:''[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]''
:'''SpongeBob #2''': ''[while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor]'' All that glitters is not gold.
:''[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Good-bye, best friend.
:''[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll never find another spatula like him again. 
:''[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula? You're back!
:''[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
:''[Back at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Squidward''': One monster Krabby Patty. 
:''[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. ''[SpongeBob's arms come off]'' D'oh! 
:''[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]''

===[[w:Wishing You Well|&quot;Wishing You Well&quot; (12.2)]]===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[upon learning about wishing wells]'' You mean suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
:'''Harold''': Can we have our quarter back now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': ''[shoves Patrick]'' Stop pushing me Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': You mean like this? ''[shoves Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': No like this! ''[shoves Patrick]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting]'' You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. ''[scene zooms to outside the well]''
:'''Squidward''': Patrick, get off of me! ''[scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward]'' I told you I am claustrophobic!
:'''Patrick''': Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
:'''Squidward''': ''[yelling]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''PATRICK!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

==Episode 13==
===&quot;New Leaf&quot; (13.1)===
:''[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]''
:'''Plankton''': Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. ''[laughs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. ''[laughs then sighs]'' Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Grr...
:'''Plankton''': But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes.
:'''Plankton''': Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. ''[takes out the formula]'' You know you want it.
:'''Plankton''': Thanks… but no.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': A-ha, I knew it. ''[chuckles]'' It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
:'''Plankton''': Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... ''[throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps]'' ...A sham, a snow job... ''[throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them]'' ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of ''Jive''! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
:'''Plankton''': Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop. Too slow. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[very angry, screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. ''[drops the formula]'' Oops.
:'''Plankton''': What's this? ''[groans]'' Hey, Krabs!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew you'd come back.
:'''Plankton''': You forgot something. ''[throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs]'' Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. 
:''[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium leaving Mr. Krabs upset realizing that plankton was telling the truth]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... ''[cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]''

===&quot;Once Bitten&quot; (13.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I won't let you touch Gary!
:'''Harold''': Stop the madness, man! The mad snail disease ends now... '''SEIZE THE SNAIL!'''

==Episode 14==
===&quot;Bummer Vacation&quot; (14.1)===
:'''Patrick''': ''[puts his finger in his head]'' Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

==Episode 15==
===&quot;Squidtastic Voyage&quot; (15.1)===
:'''Sandy''': ''[Over the speaker]'' Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. ''[The scene returns to her.]'' Now all you have to do is... ''[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]''
:'''Squidward''': Get out of my body! Go!
:'''Patrick''': Grow? ''[He presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob.]''
:'''Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===&quot;That's No Lady&quot; (15.2)===
:'''Business fish''': Hey! ''[Patrick looks around confused]'' Hey, you there!
:'''Patrick''': Who, me?
:'''Business fish''': Yes, you! &lt;big&gt;'''GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by]'' '''Get outta town'''... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. ''[Shows a flier for a vacation]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait, stop! What about all our plans?! 8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick! Who's gonna do all that with me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Business fish''': Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': I'll be right there, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter, Patrick?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' The paid assassin!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': ''[he and SpongeBob walk up to the customer nervously]'' What can I get you, sir?
:'''Business fish''': Say, don't I know you from somewhere?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': No!
:'''Business fish''': Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': He's onto us!
:'''SpongeBob''': I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
:'''Squidward &amp; Mr. Krabs''': '''PATRICK!?!?'''
:'''Business fish''': You forgot your flyer. ''[hands them one of his flyers]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading flyer]'' &quot;Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.&quot; Patrick, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price.
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. ''[rips off his disguise. Everyone gasps while Squidward's eyes shrink in horror]''
:'''Squidward''': Umm, I think I need to take a shower.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman?
:'''Patrick''': No.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list? ''[Patrick and SpongeBob look at list and gasp at what is on it]''
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!

==Episode 16==
===&quot;The Thing&quot; (16.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. ''[muffled whimpering from Smelly]'' Here's your food bowl.
:'''Patrick''': And some kibble. ''[pours in some food]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You can live here forever and ever. ''[Smelly cries]'' Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. ''[retrieves Gary]'' Smelly meet Gary. ''[Gary sticks to Smelly]'' Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. ''[Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly]'' Gary, no! ''[gets Gary off of Smelly]'' Gary. ''[Gary hisses]''
:'''Patrick''': I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
:'''Patrick''': Ah! He can come home with me.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. ''[Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down]'' Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. ''[opens door]'' Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. ''[Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]''
:'''Patrick''': No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

===&quot;Hocus Pocus&quot; (16.2)===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
:'''SpongeBob''': I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
:'''Patrick''': That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
:'''SpongeBob''': This is all my fault!
:'''Patrick''': Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
:'''Patrick''': Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

==Episode 17==
===&quot;Driven to Tears&quot; (17.1)===
:'''Announcer''': Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
:'''Patrick''': Does this mean I win a free keychain?

===&quot;Rule of Dumb&quot; (17.2)===
:''[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. 
:''[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]''
:'''Patrick''': King needs food badly.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What's this all ab... ''[gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes]'' Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
:'''SpongeBob''': The king would like...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
:'''Patrick''': I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got a better idea.

==Episode 18==
===&quot;Born to be Wild&quot; (18.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
:'''Old man''': Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

===&quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2)===

==Episode 19==
===&quot;Squid Wood&quot; (19.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? ''[Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him]'' Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
:'''Squidward''': It's called, &quot;I will never play with you... &lt;big&gt;'''EVER!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot; ''[throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]'' 

==Episode 20==
===[[w:Best Day Ever|&quot;Best Day Ever&quot; (20.1)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! ''[his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch]'' This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world, working at the Krusty Krab!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': How long do we have to keep this up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

===&quot;The Gift of Gum&quot; (20.2)===
:'''Robo 2.1''': Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
:''[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]''
:'''Patrick''': Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift. 

{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 4)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]</text>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] '''4''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned three movies, followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===&quot;Fear of a Krabby Patty&quot; (1.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Day... ''[record scratch]'' anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
:'''Squidward''': ''[Breathing heavily next to a pile of Krabby Patties]'' '''43...!''' ''[Gasps, as the top of his head expands and shrinks.]''

===&quot;Shell of a Man&quot; (1.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Noooooooo! ''[SpongeBob drops his Krabby Patty]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Mr. Krabs. ''[knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens]'' Hello? Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk]'' You alright? Are you sleepy? ''[pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor, revealing an empty shell]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[sniffs his arm]'' I don't smell his pulse. ''[in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob]'' What's that? ''[figure is behind a barrel]'' Is somebody there?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't look at me! Leave me be!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[throws barrel away]'' You're alive! And naked...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[crying]'' It's true. I've molted.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's molted?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow.

==Episode 2==
===&quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1)===
Argh, me back! 
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs? 

ALL MY MONEY WAS IN THAT MATTRESS!!! 

You blockheads woke the worm.

===&quot;Krabs vs. Plankton&quot; (2.2)===

==[[w:Have You Seen This Snail?|&quot;Have You Seen This Snail?&quot; (Episode 3)]]== 
Don’t they know I’m busy spoiling myself?

==Episode 4==
===&quot;Skill Crane&quot; (4.1)===
:'''Skill Crane''': ''[distinct scratchy voice]'' Squid... ward. ''[crane swinging back and forth]'' Squid... ward.

===&quot;Good Neighbors&quot; (4.2)===
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furiously turns red and opens the front door]'' Alright, you two! OUT! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick realizing that they are in trouble walk out]'' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow, or next week!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, does that include...
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily screams]'' YES, IT DOES! ''[slams door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
:'''Squidward''': ''[busts head through the door, exploding]'' YES, I WAS!!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! ''[deep breath]'' You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! ''[takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and stomps them into the ground]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
:'''Squidward''': ''[pops his head out of the hole in the middle of the door and explodes again]'' NO, YOU AREN'T!!! You're horrible neighbors! ''[angrily hyperventilates]'' '''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!'''

==Episode 5==
===[[w:Selling Out (SpongeBob SquarePants)|&quot;Selling Out&quot; (5.1)]]===
:'''Carl''': What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
:'''Squidward''': ''[bored]'' &quot;Sincere service with a smile.&quot;
:'''Carl''': Well yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays sprit! Now, Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources. ''[A big buff fish threatens to punch Squidward from behind the HR door]'' Would you? So, what's our motto again?
:'''Squidward''': ''[now nervous]'' Uh...uh. &quot;S-sincere service...&quot; ''[slaps himself and is now trying to look happy]'' &quot;...with a smile!&quot; ''[The HR fish slides back into his room]''
:'''Carl''': Now you're getting it!

===&quot;Funny Pants&quot; (5.2)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
:'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box! ''[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]''
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
:'''Squidward''': ''[taken aback by the revelation]'' Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
:'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?
:'''Squidward''': Yeah. ''[both laugh]'' You really fell for it.
:'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did!
:'''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[stops laughing]'' It's really not that funny, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': It's hilarious!
:'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. ''[goes into his house]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[still laughing]'' Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. ''[his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]'' yahhhh! ''[Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his laughter) and falls flat to the ground, the episode ends while two paramedics come take him to the hospital]''

==[[w:Dunces and Dragons|&quot;Dunces and Dragons&quot; (Episode 6)]]==
:'''SpongeBob''': They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
:'''Patrick''': What's that?
:'''Squidly''': ♪''The evil wizard's dragon is here.'' 
:''See the townsfolk scream with fear.'' 
:''See the townsfolk try to run.''
:''I can tell this won't be fun.'' 
:''The dragon will torch everything.'' 
:''Everything in the valley. Hospitals,'' 
:''schools, retirement homes,''
:''and even ye olde bowling alley.''♪
:'''Citizen''': Not the bowling alley! ''[dragon zaps bowling alley into dust. Citizen bawling]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Patrick? We really are in medieval times!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no, I think I left the water running at home!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Guard''': Right this way.
:'''SpongeBob''': Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, &quot;Righteth this way-eth!&quot;
:'''Guard''': ''[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down]'' Some day, but not today.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[at the guillotine]'' Well, I guess this is it, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, SpongeBob! ''[crying]''
:'''SpongeBob''':  I'll miss you, too, buddy! ''[both sobbing as King Krabs crashes into the guillotine, breaking it. Dragon takes Princess Pearl away]''
:'''Princess Pearl''': Daddy, help!
:'''King Krabs''': Pearl! ''[cries]'' Can no one stop this madness?! ''[sun shines on SpongeBob and Patrick]'' You two, my apologies. ''[kisses their feet]'' Most noble and valiant warriors.
:'''Patrick''': I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob is about to finish off the Dark Knight]''
:'''Dark Knight''': You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't understand a word you just said! ''[laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel, but with the crosses for eyes]'' Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy...? ''[screen turns black then water is thrown onto the Dark Knight]'' Patrick, it's working! Do it again. ''[Patrick gathers spit and spits it upon her]''
:'''Dark Knight''': Thou hath spared me, kind and noble sponge. And to thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Planktonamor and learn a trifle of that karate.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, karate! ''[karate chops Squidly in half]''
:'''Squidly''': Oweth.

==Episode 7==

===&quot;Enemy In-Law&quot; (7.1)===

:'''Plankton''': ''[everyone running around inside]'' Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches, you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. ''[everyone stops in their tracks]''
:'''Nat''': What, you mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
:'''Plankton''': Come on, it's a standard marketing technique. [people leave]
:'''Nat''': You little twerp!
:'''Plankton''': Hey!
:'''Karen''': He's right, ya know.
:'''Plankton''': Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
:'''Karen''': Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
:'''Plankton''': Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
:'''Karen''': Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
:'''Plankton''': Fine, I'm wrong and you're right.
:'''Karen''': You said it, not me. You know, you're lucky to have me.
:'''Plankton''': ''[walking away]'' Why did I ever install that nagging software?
:'''Karen''': &quot;Nagging software&quot;? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman, not a girl in a cold-hearted shell. ''[hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope on her]'' Such beauty. She's an angel, and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart.
:'''Karen''': Plankton, you've fallen in love with another woman!? I'm your wife!
:'''Plankton''': You're a W.I.F.E. ''[pulls out a chart]'' &lt;big&gt;'''W'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|ired}} '''&lt;big&gt;I&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|ntegratred}} &lt;big&gt;'''F'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|emale}} '''&lt;big&gt;E&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|lectroencephalograph}}.
:'''Karen''': Oh, you always pull that one out! &quot;You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!&quot;
:'''Plankton''': ''[sighing]'' Why don't you have an &quot;off&quot; switch? ''[sees it and smiles]''
:'''Karen''': Plankton, don't you dare... ''[turns off]''
:'''Plankton''': And now to woo that beloved creature.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
:'''SpongeBob''': Terribly sorry, sir. ''[pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it]'' Will there be anything else?
:'''Plankton''': Is my tie on straight?
:'''SpongeBob''': You... look FABULOUS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': ''[pulls rose away from his body]'' Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight.
:'''Betsy''': ''[notices Plankton]'' Oh, my. You're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. ''[sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her]'' Tell me about yourself.
:'''Plankton''': Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restaurateur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
:'''Betsy''': Never heard of it.
:'''Plankton''': ''[points to the Chum Bucket]'' It's across the street.
:'''Betsy''': Doesn't ring a bell.
:'''Plankton''' ''[shows her the back of a phone book with a picture of him and the Chum Bucket]'' It's on the back of the phone book! Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad! ''[puts the book away]'' Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
:'''Betsy''': Well...
:'''Eugene''': Plankton!
:'''Plankton''': Krabs!
:'''Betsy''': Eugene!
:'''Eugene''': Mommy?
:'''Plankton''': &quot;Mommy&quot;?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in the air]'' SpongeBob!
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob...!
:'''Plankton''': This delectable creature is your mother?
:'''Eugene''': This no-good conniving chiseler is your date!?
:'''SpongeBob''': And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Eugene''': Mommy? You!
:'''Plankton''': Eugene.
:'''Eugene''': I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
:'''Eugene''': All you like is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
:'''Eugene''': I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
:'''Plankton''': Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
:'''Eugene''': Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! ''[Plankton frowns]'' I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. ''[walks out]''
:'''Plankton''': Not family, eh? I can fix that.

===&quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture&quot; (7.2)===
:'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
:'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! ''[both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car]'' Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
:'''Kelp Thing''': But I must do what I do. ''[jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed]'' Huh? ''[jumps down and then walks away]''
:'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.!

==Episode 8==
===&quot;Patrick SmartPants&quot; (8.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You're back!
:'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back.
:''[They hug each other]''

===&quot;SquidBob TentaclePants&quot; (8.2)===
:'''Sandy''': Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
:'''SpongeBob/Squidward''': Sandy?
:'''Sandy''': One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. 
:''[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet]'' Hmph. ''[plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]''
:'''Mary''': I think I'm going to be sick. 
:''[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]''
:'''Billy''': Ah, I'm out of here!
:'''Squidward''': Huh, no wait. Wait! ''[everyone leaves]'' Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. ''[grabs the Molecular Separator Ray]'' There's got to be some way to reverse this. ''[pushes the button over and over]''
:'''Sandy''': No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, I wouldn't... 
:''[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]''
:'''Therapist''': ''[talking to Squidward]'' So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
:'''Squidward''': It all started... when I was born. 
:''[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]''

==Episode 9==
===&quot;Krusty Towers&quot; (9.1)===
:''[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $15,000!?!
:'''Squidward''': You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
:'''Patrick''': This is a hospital?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
:'''Patrick and SpongeBob''': Hooray!
:'''Squidward''': Oh, boy...

===[[w:Mrs. Puff, You're Fired|&quot;Mrs. Puff, You're Fired&quot; (9.2)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course]'' So, heh... how'd I do?
:'''Roderick''': How'd you do? ''[lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed]'' Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this &quot;''pedestrian''&quot; '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;HOW YOU DID?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''

==Episode 10==
===&quot;Chimps Ahoy&quot; (10.1)===
:'''Patrick''': That's &quot;Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick&quot; to you.

===&quot;Ghost Host&quot; (10.2)===
:'''Flying Dutchman''': Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. ''[flies back up to his ship]'' Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. ''[ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

==Episode 11==
===&quot;Whale of a Birthday&quot; (11.1)===
:'''Pearl''': ''[approaches Mr. Krabs]'' Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap! ''[pops the bubble wrap]'' This year's gonna be a blast!
:'''Pearl''':  Daddy! You've ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ''ruin'' this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap!
Mr. Krabs: ''[gulps]'' I promise.
:'''Pearl''':   Good, because I made a list. ''[list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up]'' Now I want everything on this list at my party. ''[kisses her dad and runs out]'' Bye! I'll be at the mall with my friends. 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''':  Wait, don't leave! My dad got Boys Who Cry to play! You did get Boys Who Cry, right? ''[Glaring crossed-arms at her dad]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it! ''[curtain unfolds as R &amp; B Music begins to play with Squidward standing on the stage]''
:'''Squidward''': Hello, ladies. ''[sings &quot;It's all about you&quot;]''  ''When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-Ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh!''
:'''Friend #2''': Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry!
:'''Judy''': Yeah! ''[Cut to Squidward shaking his rear end]''
:'''Friend #2''': Boo!
:'''Friend #1''': What a rip-off!
:'''Judy''': This stinks!
:'''Pearl''': Daddy, how could you?! I... gave... you... a ''list?!'' ''[runs out crying]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl, come back! ''[crowd throws tomatoes, eggs and Pearl’s meat head at Squidward]''
:'''Pearl''': You've ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me! ''[cries]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Boys Who Cry''': (&quot;It's all about you&quot;) ''It's all about you, girl... on your &lt;big&gt;16&lt;/big&gt;{{small|th}} birthday!&lt;br /&gt;Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.&lt;br /&gt;You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!''

==Episode 12==
===&quot;All That Glitters&quot; (12.1)===
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, we better get back to work.
:'''Spongebob''':''Work?'' How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Use another spatular.
:'''Spongebob''': ''[close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like]'' '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WHAT?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! ''[runs off to the hospital]'' I'm coming, Spat! ''[scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed]'' Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
:''[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]''
:'''Doctor''':  There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. ''[SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around]'' Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.
:'''Spongebob''': Thank you, Doctor.
:'''Doctor''':  Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''':  ''[back in the kitchen]'' One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. ''[tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction]'' Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
:'''Le Spatula''': I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!
:'''Spongebob''': But, but, I thought we were friends?
:'''Le Spatula''':  Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! ''[jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor]'' Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! ''[runs out laughing]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]''
:'''Le Spatula''': How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! ''[spits and runs out]''
:'''Mr Krabs''': What happened?
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties without a spatular?!
:'''SpongeBob''':  I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.
:'''SpongeBob''':  You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.
:'''Mr. Krabs''':Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers! ''[starts to cry]''
:''[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula?? It can't be true! It's too late! ''[cries]''
:'''Doctor''': SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
:'''SpongeBob''': I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! ''[sobs]''
:'''Doctor''': Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'm so sorry. 
:''[SpongeBob cries some more]''
:'''Doctor''': Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. 
:''[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Spatula! 
:''[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! 
:''[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula, what's wrong? 
:''[Spat shakes its head]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!
:''[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]''
:'''SpongeBob #2''': ''[while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor]'' All that glitters is not gold.
:''[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Good-bye, best friend.
:''[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll never find another spatula like him again. 
:''[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula? You're back!
:''[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
:''[Back at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Squidward''': One monster Krabby Patty. 
:''[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. ''[SpongeBob's arms come off]'' D'oh! 
:''[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]''

===[[w:Wishing You Well|&quot;Wishing You Well&quot; (12.2)]]===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[upon learning about wishing wells]'' You mean suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
:'''Harold''': Can we have our quarter back now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': ''[shoves Patrick]'' Stop pushing me Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': You mean like this? ''[shoves Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': No like this! ''[shoves Patrick]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting]'' You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. ''[scene zooms to outside the well]''
:'''Squidward''': Patrick, get off of me! ''[scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward]'' I told you I am claustrophobic!
:'''Patrick''': Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
:'''Squidward''': ''[yelling]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''PATRICK!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

==Episode 13==
===&quot;New Leaf&quot; (13.1)===
:''[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]''
:'''Plankton''': Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. ''[laughs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. ''[laughs then sighs]'' Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Grr...
:'''Plankton''': But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes.
:'''Plankton''': Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. ''[takes out the formula]'' You know you want it.
:'''Plankton''': Thanks… but no.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': A-ha, I knew it. ''[chuckles]'' It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
:'''Plankton''': Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... ''[throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps]'' ...A sham, a snow job... ''[throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them]'' ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of ''Jive''! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
:'''Plankton''': Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop. Too slow. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[very angry, screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. ''[drops the formula]'' Oops.
:'''Plankton''': What's this? ''[groans]'' Hey, Krabs!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew you'd come back.
:'''Plankton''': You forgot something. ''[throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs]'' Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. 
:''[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium leaving Mr. Krabs upset realizing that plankton was telling the truth]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... ''[cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]''

===&quot;Once Bitten&quot; (13.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I won't let you touch Gary!
:'''Harold''': Stop the madness, man! The mad snail disease ends now... '''SEIZE THE SNAIL!'''

==Episode 14==
===&quot;Bummer Vacation&quot; (14.1)===
:'''Patrick''': ''[puts his finger in his head]'' Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

==Episode 15==
===&quot;Squidtastic Voyage&quot; (15.1)===
:'''Sandy''': ''[Over the speaker]'' Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. ''[The scene returns to her.]'' Now all you have to do is... ''[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]''
:'''Squidward''': Get out of my body! Go!
:'''Patrick''': Grow? ''[He presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob.]''
:'''Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===&quot;That's No Lady&quot; (15.2)===
:'''Business fish''': Hey! ''[Patrick looks around confused]'' Hey, you there!
:'''Patrick''': Who, me?
:'''Business fish''': Yes, you! &lt;big&gt;'''GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by]'' '''Get outta town'''... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. ''[Shows a flier for a vacation]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait, stop! What about all our plans?! 8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick! Who's gonna do all that with me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Business fish''': Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': I'll be right there, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter, Patrick?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' The paid assassin!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': ''[he and SpongeBob walk up to the customer nervously]'' What can I get you, sir?
:'''Business fish''': Say, don't I know you from somewhere?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': No!
:'''Business fish''': Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': He's onto us!
:'''SpongeBob''': I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
:'''Squidward &amp; Mr. Krabs''': '''PATRICK!?!?'''
:'''Business fish''': You forgot your flyer. ''[hands them one of his flyers]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading flyer]'' &quot;Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.&quot; Patrick, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price.
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. ''[rips off his disguise. Everyone gasps while Squidward's eyes shrink in horror]''
:'''Squidward''': Umm, I think I need to take a shower.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman?
:'''Patrick''': No.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list? ''[Patrick and SpongeBob look at list and gasp at what is on it]''
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!

==Episode 16==
===&quot;The Thing&quot; (16.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. ''[muffled whimpering from Smelly]'' Here's your food bowl.
:'''Patrick''': And some kibble. ''[pours in some food]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You can live here forever and ever. ''[Smelly cries]'' Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. ''[retrieves Gary]'' Smelly meet Gary. ''[Gary sticks to Smelly]'' Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. ''[Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly]'' Gary, no! ''[gets Gary off of Smelly]'' Gary. ''[Gary hisses]''
:'''Patrick''': I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
:'''Patrick''': Ah! He can come home with me.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. ''[Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down]'' Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. ''[opens door]'' Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. ''[Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]''
:'''Patrick''': No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

===&quot;Hocus Pocus&quot; (16.2)===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
:'''SpongeBob''': I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
:'''Patrick''': That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
:'''SpongeBob''': This is all my fault!
:'''Patrick''': Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
:'''Patrick''': Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

==Episode 17==
===&quot;Driven to Tears&quot; (17.1)===
:'''Announcer''': Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
:'''Patrick''': Does this mean I win a free keychain?

===&quot;Rule of Dumb&quot; (17.2)===
:''[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. 
:''[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]''
:'''Patrick''': King needs food badly.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What's this all ab... ''[gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes]'' Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
:'''SpongeBob''': The king would like...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
:'''Patrick''': I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got a better idea.

==Episode 18==
===&quot;Born to be Wild&quot; (18.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
:'''Old man''': Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

===&quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2)===

==Episode 19==
===&quot;Squid Wood&quot; (19.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? ''[Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him]'' Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
:'''Squidward''': It's called, &quot;I will never play with you... &lt;big&gt;'''EVER!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot; ''[throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]'' 

==Episode 20==
===[[w:Best Day Ever|&quot;Best Day Ever&quot; (20.1)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! ''[his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch]'' This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world, working at the Krusty Krab!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': How long do we have to keep this up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

===&quot;The Gift of Gum&quot; (20.2)===
:'''Robo 2.1''': Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
:''[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]''
:'''Patrick''': Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift. 

{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 4)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]</text>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] '''4''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
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&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned three movies, followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===&quot;Fear of a Krabby Patty&quot; (1.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Day... ''[record scratch]'' anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
:'''Squidward''': ''[Breathing heavily next to a pile of Krabby Patties]'' '''43...!''' ''[Gasps, as the top of his head expands and shrinks.]''

===&quot;Shell of a Man&quot; (1.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Noooooooo! ''[SpongeBob drops his Krabby Patty]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Mr. Krabs. ''[knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens]'' Hello? Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk]'' You alright? Are you sleepy? ''[pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor, revealing an empty shell]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[sniffs his arm]'' I don't smell his pulse. ''[in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob]'' What's that? ''[figure is behind a barrel]'' Is somebody there?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't look at me! Leave me be!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[throws barrel away]'' You're alive! And naked...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[crying]'' It's true. I've molted.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's molted?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow.

==Episode 2==
===&quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1)===
Argh, me back! 
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs? 

ALL MY MONEY WAS IN THAT MATTRESS!!! 

You blockheads woke the worm.

===&quot;Krabs vs. Plankton&quot; (2.2)===

==[[w:Have You Seen This Snail?|&quot;Have You Seen This Snail?&quot; (Episode 3)]]== 
Don’t they know I’m busy spoiling myself?

==Episode 4==
===&quot;Skill Crane&quot; (4.1)===
:'''Skill Crane''': ''[distinct scratchy voice]'' Squid... ward. ''[crane swinging back and forth]'' Squid... ward.

===&quot;Good Neighbors&quot; (4.2)===
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furiously turns red and opens the front door]'' Alright, you two! OUT! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick realizing that they are in trouble walk out]'' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow, or next week!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, does that include...? 
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily screams]'' YES, IT DOES! ''[slams door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
:'''Squidward''': ''[busts head through the door, exploding]'' YES, I WAS!!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! ''[deep breath]'' You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! ''[takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and stomps them into the ground]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
:'''Squidward''': ''[pops his head out of the hole in the middle of the door and explodes again]'' NO, YOU AREN'T!!! You're horrible neighbors! ''[angrily hyperventilates]'' '''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!'''

==Episode 5==
===[[w:Selling Out (SpongeBob SquarePants)|&quot;Selling Out&quot; (5.1)]]===
:'''Carl''': What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
:'''Squidward''': ''[bored]'' &quot;Sincere service with a smile.&quot;
:'''Carl''': Well yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays sprit! Now, Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources. ''[A big buff fish threatens to punch Squidward from behind the HR door]'' Would you? So, what's our motto again?
:'''Squidward''': ''[now nervous]'' Uh...uh. &quot;S-sincere service...&quot; ''[slaps himself and is now trying to look happy]'' &quot;...with a smile!&quot; ''[The HR fish slides back into his room]''
:'''Carl''': Now you're getting it!

===&quot;Funny Pants&quot; (5.2)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
:'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box! ''[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]''
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
:'''Squidward''': ''[taken aback by the revelation]'' Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
:'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?
:'''Squidward''': Yeah. ''[both laugh]'' You really fell for it.
:'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did!
:'''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[stops laughing]'' It's really not that funny, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': It's hilarious!
:'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. ''[goes into his house]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[still laughing]'' Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. ''[his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]'' yahhhh! ''[Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his laughter) and falls flat to the ground, the episode ends while two paramedics come take him to the hospital]''

==[[w:Dunces and Dragons|&quot;Dunces and Dragons&quot; (Episode 6)]]==
:'''SpongeBob''': They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
:'''Patrick''': What's that?
:'''Squidly''': ♪''The evil wizard's dragon is here.'' 
:''See the townsfolk scream with fear.'' 
:''See the townsfolk try to run.''
:''I can tell this won't be fun.'' 
:''The dragon will torch everything.'' 
:''Everything in the valley. Hospitals,'' 
:''schools, retirement homes,''
:''and even ye olde bowling alley.''♪
:'''Citizen''': Not the bowling alley! ''[dragon zaps bowling alley into dust. Citizen bawling]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Patrick? We really are in medieval times!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no, I think I left the water running at home!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Guard''': Right this way.
:'''SpongeBob''': Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, &quot;Righteth this way-eth!&quot;
:'''Guard''': ''[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down]'' Some day, but not today.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[at the guillotine]'' Well, I guess this is it, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, SpongeBob! ''[crying]''
:'''SpongeBob''':  I'll miss you, too, buddy! ''[both sobbing as King Krabs crashes into the guillotine, breaking it. Dragon takes Princess Pearl away]''
:'''Princess Pearl''': Daddy, help!
:'''King Krabs''': Pearl! ''[cries]'' Can no one stop this madness?! ''[sun shines on SpongeBob and Patrick]'' You two, my apologies. ''[kisses their feet]'' Most noble and valiant warriors.
:'''Patrick''': I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob is about to finish off the Dark Knight]''
:'''Dark Knight''': You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't understand a word you just said! ''[laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel, but with the crosses for eyes]'' Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy...? ''[screen turns black then water is thrown onto the Dark Knight]'' Patrick, it's working! Do it again. ''[Patrick gathers spit and spits it upon her]''
:'''Dark Knight''': Thou hath spared me, kind and noble sponge. And to thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Planktonamor and learn a trifle of that karate.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, karate! ''[karate chops Squidly in half]''
:'''Squidly''': Oweth.

==Episode 7==

===&quot;Enemy In-Law&quot; (7.1)===

:'''Plankton''': ''[everyone running around inside]'' Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches, you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. ''[everyone stops in their tracks]''
:'''Nat''': What, you mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
:'''Plankton''': Come on, it's a standard marketing technique. [people leave]
:'''Nat''': You little twerp!
:'''Plankton''': Hey!
:'''Karen''': He's right, ya know.
:'''Plankton''': Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
:'''Karen''': Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
:'''Plankton''': Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
:'''Karen''': Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
:'''Plankton''': Fine, I'm wrong and you're right.
:'''Karen''': You said it, not me. You know, you're lucky to have me.
:'''Plankton''': ''[walking away]'' Why did I ever install that nagging software?
:'''Karen''': &quot;Nagging software&quot;? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman, not a girl in a cold-hearted shell. ''[hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope on her]'' Such beauty. She's an angel, and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart.
:'''Karen''': Plankton, you've fallen in love with another woman!? I'm your wife!
:'''Plankton''': You're a W.I.F.E. ''[pulls out a chart]'' &lt;big&gt;'''W'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|ired}} '''&lt;big&gt;I&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|ntegratred}} &lt;big&gt;'''F'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|emale}} '''&lt;big&gt;E&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|lectroencephalograph}}.
:'''Karen''': Oh, you always pull that one out! &quot;You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!&quot;
:'''Plankton''': ''[sighing]'' Why don't you have an &quot;off&quot; switch? ''[sees it and smiles]''
:'''Karen''': Plankton, don't you dare... ''[turns off]''
:'''Plankton''': And now to woo that beloved creature.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
:'''SpongeBob''': Terribly sorry, sir. ''[pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it]'' Will there be anything else?
:'''Plankton''': Is my tie on straight?
:'''SpongeBob''': You... look FABULOUS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': ''[pulls rose away from his body]'' Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight.
:'''Betsy''': ''[notices Plankton]'' Oh, my. You're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. ''[sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her]'' Tell me about yourself.
:'''Plankton''': Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restaurateur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
:'''Betsy''': Never heard of it.
:'''Plankton''': ''[points to the Chum Bucket]'' It's across the street.
:'''Betsy''': Doesn't ring a bell.
:'''Plankton''' ''[shows her the back of a phone book with a picture of him and the Chum Bucket]'' It's on the back of the phone book! Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad! ''[puts the book away]'' Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
:'''Betsy''': Well...
:'''Eugene''': Plankton!
:'''Plankton''': Krabs!
:'''Betsy''': Eugene!
:'''Eugene''': Mommy?
:'''Plankton''': &quot;Mommy&quot;?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in the air]'' SpongeBob!
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob...!
:'''Plankton''': This delectable creature is your mother?
:'''Eugene''': This no-good conniving chiseler is your date!?
:'''SpongeBob''': And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Eugene''': Mommy? You!
:'''Plankton''': Eugene.
:'''Eugene''': I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
:'''Eugene''': All you like is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
:'''Eugene''': I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
:'''Plankton''': Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
:'''Eugene''': Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! ''[Plankton frowns]'' I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. ''[walks out]''
:'''Plankton''': Not family, eh? I can fix that.

===&quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture&quot; (7.2)===
:'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
:'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! ''[both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car]'' Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
:'''Kelp Thing''': But I must do what I do. ''[jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed]'' Huh? ''[jumps down and then walks away]''
:'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.!

==Episode 8==
===&quot;Patrick SmartPants&quot; (8.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You're back!
:'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back.
:''[They hug each other]''

===&quot;SquidBob TentaclePants&quot; (8.2)===
:'''Sandy''': Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
:'''SpongeBob/Squidward''': Sandy?
:'''Sandy''': One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. 
:''[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet]'' Hmph. ''[plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]''
:'''Mary''': I think I'm going to be sick. 
:''[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]''
:'''Billy''': Ah, I'm out of here!
:'''Squidward''': Huh, no wait. Wait! ''[everyone leaves]'' Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. ''[grabs the Molecular Separator Ray]'' There's got to be some way to reverse this. ''[pushes the button over and over]''
:'''Sandy''': No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, I wouldn't... 
:''[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]''
:'''Therapist''': ''[talking to Squidward]'' So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
:'''Squidward''': It all started... when I was born. 
:''[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]''

==Episode 9==
===&quot;Krusty Towers&quot; (9.1)===
:''[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $15,000!?!
:'''Squidward''': You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
:'''Patrick''': This is a hospital?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
:'''Patrick and SpongeBob''': Hooray!
:'''Squidward''': Oh, boy...

===[[w:Mrs. Puff, You're Fired|&quot;Mrs. Puff, You're Fired&quot; (9.2)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course]'' So, heh... how'd I do?
:'''Roderick''': How'd you do? ''[lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed]'' Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this &quot;''pedestrian''&quot; '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;HOW YOU DID?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''

==Episode 10==
===&quot;Chimps Ahoy&quot; (10.1)===
:'''Patrick''': That's &quot;Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick&quot; to you.

===&quot;Ghost Host&quot; (10.2)===
:'''Flying Dutchman''': Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. ''[flies back up to his ship]'' Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. ''[ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

==Episode 11==
===&quot;Whale of a Birthday&quot; (11.1)===
:'''Pearl''': ''[approaches Mr. Krabs]'' Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap! ''[pops the bubble wrap]'' This year's gonna be a blast!
:'''Pearl''':  Daddy! You've ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ''ruin'' this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap!
Mr. Krabs: ''[gulps]'' I promise.
:'''Pearl''':   Good, because I made a list. ''[list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up]'' Now I want everything on this list at my party. ''[kisses her dad and runs out]'' Bye! I'll be at the mall with my friends. 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''':  Wait, don't leave! My dad got Boys Who Cry to play! You did get Boys Who Cry, right? ''[Glaring crossed-arms at her dad]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it! ''[curtain unfolds as R &amp; B Music begins to play with Squidward standing on the stage]''
:'''Squidward''': Hello, ladies. ''[sings &quot;It's all about you&quot;]''  ''When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-Ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh!''
:'''Friend #2''': Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry!
:'''Judy''': Yeah! ''[Cut to Squidward shaking his rear end]''
:'''Friend #2''': Boo!
:'''Friend #1''': What a rip-off!
:'''Judy''': This stinks!
:'''Pearl''': Daddy, how could you?! I... gave... you... a ''list?!'' ''[runs out crying]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl, come back! ''[crowd throws tomatoes, eggs and Pearl’s meat head at Squidward]''
:'''Pearl''': You've ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me! ''[cries]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Boys Who Cry''': (&quot;It's all about you&quot;) ''It's all about you, girl... on your &lt;big&gt;16&lt;/big&gt;{{small|th}} birthday!&lt;br /&gt;Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.&lt;br /&gt;You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!''

==Episode 12==
===&quot;All That Glitters&quot; (12.1)===
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, we better get back to work.
:'''Spongebob''':''Work?'' How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Use another spatular.
:'''Spongebob''': ''[close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like]'' '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WHAT?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! ''[runs off to the hospital]'' I'm coming, Spat! ''[scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed]'' Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
:''[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]''
:'''Doctor''':  There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. ''[SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around]'' Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.
:'''Spongebob''': Thank you, Doctor.
:'''Doctor''':  Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''':  ''[back in the kitchen]'' One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. ''[tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction]'' Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
:'''Le Spatula''': I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!
:'''Spongebob''': But, but, I thought we were friends?
:'''Le Spatula''':  Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! ''[jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor]'' Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! ''[runs out laughing]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]''
:'''Le Spatula''': How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! ''[spits and runs out]''
:'''Mr Krabs''': What happened?
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties without a spatular?!
:'''SpongeBob''':  I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.
:'''SpongeBob''':  You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.
:'''Mr. Krabs''':Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers! ''[starts to cry]''
:''[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula?? It can't be true! It's too late! ''[cries]''
:'''Doctor''': SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
:'''SpongeBob''': I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! ''[sobs]''
:'''Doctor''': Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'm so sorry. 
:''[SpongeBob cries some more]''
:'''Doctor''': Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. 
:''[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Spatula! 
:''[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! 
:''[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula, what's wrong? 
:''[Spat shakes its head]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!
:''[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]''
:'''SpongeBob #2''': ''[while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor]'' All that glitters is not gold.
:''[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Good-bye, best friend.
:''[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll never find another spatula like him again. 
:''[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula? You're back!
:''[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
:''[Back at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Squidward''': One monster Krabby Patty. 
:''[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. ''[SpongeBob's arms come off]'' D'oh! 
:''[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]''

===[[w:Wishing You Well|&quot;Wishing You Well&quot; (12.2)]]===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[upon learning about wishing wells]'' You mean suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
:'''Harold''': Can we have our quarter back now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': ''[shoves Patrick]'' Stop pushing me Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': You mean like this? ''[shoves Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': No like this! ''[shoves Patrick]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting]'' You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. ''[scene zooms to outside the well]''
:'''Squidward''': Patrick, get off of me! ''[scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward]'' I told you I am claustrophobic!
:'''Patrick''': Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
:'''Squidward''': ''[yelling]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''PATRICK!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

==Episode 13==
===&quot;New Leaf&quot; (13.1)===
:''[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]''
:'''Plankton''': Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. ''[laughs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. ''[laughs then sighs]'' Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Grr...
:'''Plankton''': But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes.
:'''Plankton''': Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. ''[takes out the formula]'' You know you want it.
:'''Plankton''': Thanks… but no.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': A-ha, I knew it. ''[chuckles]'' It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
:'''Plankton''': Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... ''[throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps]'' ...A sham, a snow job... ''[throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them]'' ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of ''Jive''! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
:'''Plankton''': Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop. Too slow. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[very angry, screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. ''[drops the formula]'' Oops.
:'''Plankton''': What's this? ''[groans]'' Hey, Krabs!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew you'd come back.
:'''Plankton''': You forgot something. ''[throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs]'' Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. 
:''[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium leaving Mr. Krabs upset realizing that plankton was telling the truth]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... ''[cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]''

===&quot;Once Bitten&quot; (13.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I won't let you touch Gary!
:'''Harold''': Stop the madness, man! The mad snail disease ends now... '''SEIZE THE SNAIL!'''

==Episode 14==
===&quot;Bummer Vacation&quot; (14.1)===
:'''Patrick''': ''[puts his finger in his head]'' Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

==Episode 15==
===&quot;Squidtastic Voyage&quot; (15.1)===
:'''Sandy''': ''[Over the speaker]'' Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. ''[The scene returns to her.]'' Now all you have to do is... ''[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]''
:'''Squidward''': Get out of my body! Go!
:'''Patrick''': Grow? ''[He presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob.]''
:'''Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===&quot;That's No Lady&quot; (15.2)===
:'''Business fish''': Hey! ''[Patrick looks around confused]'' Hey, you there!
:'''Patrick''': Who, me?
:'''Business fish''': Yes, you! &lt;big&gt;'''GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by]'' '''Get outta town'''... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. ''[Shows a flier for a vacation]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait, stop! What about all our plans?! 8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick! Who's gonna do all that with me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Business fish''': Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': I'll be right there, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter, Patrick?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' The paid assassin!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': ''[he and SpongeBob walk up to the customer nervously]'' What can I get you, sir?
:'''Business fish''': Say, don't I know you from somewhere?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': No!
:'''Business fish''': Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': He's onto us!
:'''SpongeBob''': I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
:'''Squidward &amp; Mr. Krabs''': '''PATRICK!?!?'''
:'''Business fish''': You forgot your flyer. ''[hands them one of his flyers]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading flyer]'' &quot;Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.&quot; Patrick, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price.
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. ''[rips off his disguise. Everyone gasps while Squidward's eyes shrink in horror]''
:'''Squidward''': Umm, I think I need to take a shower.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman?
:'''Patrick''': No.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list? ''[Patrick and SpongeBob look at list and gasp at what is on it]''
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!

==Episode 16==
===&quot;The Thing&quot; (16.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. ''[muffled whimpering from Smelly]'' Here's your food bowl.
:'''Patrick''': And some kibble. ''[pours in some food]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You can live here forever and ever. ''[Smelly cries]'' Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. ''[retrieves Gary]'' Smelly meet Gary. ''[Gary sticks to Smelly]'' Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. ''[Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly]'' Gary, no! ''[gets Gary off of Smelly]'' Gary. ''[Gary hisses]''
:'''Patrick''': I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
:'''Patrick''': Ah! He can come home with me.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. ''[Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down]'' Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. ''[opens door]'' Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. ''[Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]''
:'''Patrick''': No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

===&quot;Hocus Pocus&quot; (16.2)===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
:'''SpongeBob''': I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
:'''Patrick''': That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
:'''SpongeBob''': This is all my fault!
:'''Patrick''': Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
:'''Patrick''': Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

==Episode 17==
===&quot;Driven to Tears&quot; (17.1)===
:'''Announcer''': Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
:'''Patrick''': Does this mean I win a free keychain?

===&quot;Rule of Dumb&quot; (17.2)===
:''[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. 
:''[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]''
:'''Patrick''': King needs food badly.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What's this all ab... ''[gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes]'' Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
:'''SpongeBob''': The king would like...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
:'''Patrick''': I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got a better idea.

==Episode 18==
===&quot;Born to be Wild&quot; (18.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
:'''Old man''': Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

===&quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2)===

==Episode 19==
===&quot;Squid Wood&quot; (19.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? ''[Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him]'' Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
:'''Squidward''': It's called, &quot;I will never play with you... &lt;big&gt;'''EVER!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot; ''[throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]'' 

==Episode 20==
===[[w:Best Day Ever|&quot;Best Day Ever&quot; (20.1)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! ''[his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch]'' This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world, working at the Krusty Krab!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': How long do we have to keep this up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

===&quot;The Gift of Gum&quot; (20.2)===
:'''Robo 2.1''': Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
:''[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]''
:'''Patrick''': Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift. 

{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 4)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]</text>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] '''4''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned three movies, followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===&quot;Fear of a Krabby Patty&quot; (1.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Day... ''[record scratch]'' anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
:'''Squidward''': ''[Breathing heavily next to a pile of Krabby Patties]'' '''43...!''' ''[Gasps, as the top of his head expands and shrinks.]''

===&quot;Shell of a Man&quot; (1.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Noooooooo! ''[SpongeBob drops his Krabby Patty]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Mr. Krabs. ''[knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens]'' Hello? Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk]'' You alright? Are you sleepy? ''[pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor, revealing an empty shell]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[sniffs his arm]'' I don't smell his pulse. ''[in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob]'' What's that? ''[figure is behind a barrel]'' Is somebody there?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't look at me! Leave me be!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[throws barrel away]'' You're alive! And naked...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[crying]'' It's true. I've molted.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's molted?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow.

==Episode 2==
===&quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1)===
Argh, me back! 
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs? 

ALL MY MONEY WAS IN THAT MATTRESS!!! 

You blockheads woke the worm.

===&quot;Krabs vs. Plankton&quot; (2.2)===

==[[w:Have You Seen This Snail?|&quot;Have You Seen This Snail?&quot; (Episode 3)]]== 
Don’t they know I’m busy spoiling myself?

==Episode 4==
===&quot;Skill Crane&quot; (4.1)===
:'''Skill Crane''': ''[distinct scratchy voice]'' Squid... ward. ''[crane swinging back and forth]'' Squid... ward.

===&quot;Good Neighbors&quot; (4.2)===
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furiously turns red and opens the front door]'' Alright, you two! OUT! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick realizing that they are in trouble walk out]'' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow, or next week!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, does that include...? 
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily screams]'' YES, IT DOES! ''[slams door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
:'''Squidward''': ''[busts head through the door, exploding]'' YES, I WAS!!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! ''[deep breath]'' You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! ''[takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and stomps them into the ground]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
:'''Squidward''': ''[pops his head out of the hole in the middle of the door and explodes again]'' NO, YOU AREN'T!!! You're horrible neighbors! ''[angrily hyperventilates]'' '''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!'''

==Episode 5==
===[[w:Selling Out (SpongeBob SquarePants)|&quot;Selling Out&quot; (5.1)]]===
:'''Carl''': What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
:'''Squidward''': ''[bored]'' &quot;Sincere service with a smile.&quot;
:'''Carl''': Well yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays sprit! Now, Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources. ''[A big buff fish threatens to punch Squidward from behind the HR door]'' Would you? So, what's our motto again?
:'''Squidward''': ''[now nervous]'' Uh...uh. &quot;S-sincere service...&quot; ''[slaps himself and is now trying to look happy]'' &quot;...with a smile!&quot; ''[The HR fish slides back into his room]''
:'''Carl''': Now you're getting it!

===&quot;Funny Pants&quot; (5.2)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
:'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box! ''[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]''
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
:'''Squidward''': ''[taken aback by the revelation]'' Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
:'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?
:'''Squidward''': Yeah. ''[both laugh]'' You really fell for it.
:'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did!
:'''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[stops laughing]'' It's really not that funny, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': It's hilarious!
:'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. ''[goes into his house]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[still laughing]'' Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. ''[his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]'' yahhhh! ''[Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his laughter) and falls flat to the ground, the episode ends while two paramedics come take him to the hospital]''

==[[w:Dunces and Dragons|&quot;Dunces and Dragons&quot; (Episode 6)]]==
:'''SpongeBob''': They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
:'''Patrick''': What's that?
:'''Squidly''': ♪''The evil wizard's dragon is here.'' 
:''See the townsfolk scream with fear.'' 
:''See the townsfolk try to run.''
:''I can tell this won't be fun.'' 
:''The dragon will torch everything.'' 
:''Everything in the valley. Hospitals,'' 
:''schools, retirement homes,''
:''and even ye olde bowling alley.''♪
:'''Citizen''': Not the bowling alley! ''[dragon zaps bowling alley into dust. Citizen bawling]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Patrick? We really are in medieval times!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no, I think I left the water running at home!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Guard''': Right this way.
:'''SpongeBob''': Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, &quot;Righteth this way-eth!&quot;
:'''Guard''': ''[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down]'' Some day, but not today.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[at the guillotine]'' Well, I guess this is it, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, SpongeBob! ''[crying]''
:'''SpongeBob''':  I'll miss you, too, buddy! ''[both sobbing as King Krabs crashes into the guillotine, breaking it. Dragon takes Princess Pearl away]''
:'''Princess Pearl''': Daddy, help!
:'''King Krabs''': Pearl! ''[cries]'' Can no one stop this madness?! ''[sun shines on SpongeBob and Patrick]'' You two, my apologies. ''[kisses their feet]'' Most noble and valiant warriors.
:'''Patrick''': I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob is about to finish off the Dark Knight]''
:'''Dark Knight''': You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't understand a word you just said! ''[laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel, but with the crosses for eyes]'' Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy...? ''[screen turns black then water is thrown onto the Dark Knight]'' Patrick, it's working! Do it again. ''[Patrick gathers spit and spits it upon her]''
:'''Dark Knight''': Thou hath spared me, kind and noble sponge. And to thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Planktonamor and learn a trifle of that karate.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, karate! ''[karate chops Squidly in half]''
:'''Squidly''': Oweth.

==Episode 7==

===&quot;Enemy In-Law&quot; (7.1)===

:'''Plankton''': ''[everyone running around inside]'' Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches, you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. ''[everyone stops in their tracks]''
:'''Nat''': What, you mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
:'''Plankton''': Come on, it's a standard marketing technique. [people leave]
:'''Nat''': You little twerp!
:'''Plankton''': Hey!
:'''Karen''': He's right, ya know.
:'''Plankton''': Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
:'''Karen''': Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
:'''Plankton''': Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
:'''Karen''': Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
:'''Plankton''': Fine, I'm wrong and you're right.
:'''Karen''': You said it, not me. You know, you're lucky to have me.
:'''Plankton''': ''[walking away]'' Why did I ever install that nagging software?
:'''Karen''': &quot;Nagging software&quot;? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman, not a girl in a cold-hearted shell. ''[hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope on her]'' Such beauty. She's an angel, and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart.
:'''Karen''': Plankton, you've fallen in love with another woman!? I'm your wife!
:'''Plankton''': You're a W.I.F.E. ''[pulls out a chart]'' &lt;big&gt;'''W'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|ired}} '''&lt;big&gt;I&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|ntegratred}} &lt;big&gt;'''F'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|emale}} '''&lt;big&gt;E&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|lectroencephalograph}}.
:'''Karen''': Oh, you always pull that one out! &quot;You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!&quot;
:'''Plankton''': ''[sighing]'' Why don't you have an &quot;off&quot; switch? ''[sees it and smiles]''
:'''Karen''': Plankton, don't you dare... ''[turns off]''
:'''Plankton''': And now to woo that beloved creature.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
:'''SpongeBob''': Terribly sorry, sir. ''[pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it]'' Will there be anything else?
:'''Plankton''': Is my tie on straight?
:'''SpongeBob''': You... look FABULOUS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': ''[pulls rose away from his body]'' Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight.
:'''Betsy''': ''[notices Plankton]'' Oh, my. You're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. ''[sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her]'' Tell me about yourself.
:'''Plankton''': Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restaurateur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
:'''Betsy''': Never heard of it.
:'''Plankton''': ''[points to the Chum Bucket]'' It's across the street.
:'''Betsy''': Doesn't ring a bell.
:'''Plankton''' ''[shows her the back of a phone book with a picture of him and the Chum Bucket]'' It's on the back of the phone book! Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad! ''[puts the book away]'' Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
:'''Betsy''': Well...
:'''Eugene''': Plankton!
:'''Plankton''': Krabs!
:'''Betsy''': Eugene!
:'''Eugene''': Mommy?
:'''Plankton''': &quot;Mommy&quot;?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in the air]'' SpongeBob!
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob...!
:'''Plankton''': This delectable creature is your mother?
:'''Eugene''': This no-good conniving chiseler is your date!?
:'''SpongeBob''': And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Eugene''': Mommy? You!
:'''Plankton''': Eugene.
:'''Eugene''': I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
:'''Eugene''': All you like is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
:'''Eugene''': I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
:'''Plankton''': Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
:'''Eugene''': Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! ''[Plankton frowns]'' I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. ''[walks out]''
:'''Plankton''': Not family, eh? I can fix that.

===&quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture&quot; (7.2)===
:'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
:'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! ''[both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car]'' Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
:'''Kelp Thing''': But I must do what I do. ''[jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed]'' Huh? ''[jumps down and then walks away]''
:'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.! 

We can’t make a movie! 
Hey, little hero, this reminds me of episode.

==Episode 8==
===&quot;Patrick SmartPants&quot; (8.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You're back!
:'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back.
:''[They hug each other]''

===&quot;SquidBob TentaclePants&quot; (8.2)===
:'''Sandy''': Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
:'''SpongeBob/Squidward''': Sandy?
:'''Sandy''': One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. 
:''[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet]'' Hmph. ''[plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]''
:'''Mary''': I think I'm going to be sick. 
:''[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]''
:'''Billy''': Ah, I'm out of here!
:'''Squidward''': Huh, no wait. Wait! ''[everyone leaves]'' Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. ''[grabs the Molecular Separator Ray]'' There's got to be some way to reverse this. ''[pushes the button over and over]''
:'''Sandy''': No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, I wouldn't... 
:''[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]''
:'''Therapist''': ''[talking to Squidward]'' So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
:'''Squidward''': It all started... when I was born. 
:''[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]''

==Episode 9==
===&quot;Krusty Towers&quot; (9.1)===
:''[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $15,000!?!
:'''Squidward''': You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
:'''Patrick''': This is a hospital?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
:'''Patrick and SpongeBob''': Hooray!
:'''Squidward''': Oh, boy...

===[[w:Mrs. Puff, You're Fired|&quot;Mrs. Puff, You're Fired&quot; (9.2)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course]'' So, heh... how'd I do?
:'''Roderick''': How'd you do? ''[lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed]'' Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this &quot;''pedestrian''&quot; '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;HOW YOU DID?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''

==Episode 10==
===&quot;Chimps Ahoy&quot; (10.1)===
:'''Patrick''': That's &quot;Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick&quot; to you.

===&quot;Ghost Host&quot; (10.2)===
:'''Flying Dutchman''': Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. ''[flies back up to his ship]'' Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. ''[ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

==Episode 11==
===&quot;Whale of a Birthday&quot; (11.1)===
:'''Pearl''': ''[approaches Mr. Krabs]'' Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap! ''[pops the bubble wrap]'' This year's gonna be a blast!
:'''Pearl''':  Daddy! You've ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ''ruin'' this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap!
Mr. Krabs: ''[gulps]'' I promise.
:'''Pearl''':   Good, because I made a list. ''[list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up]'' Now I want everything on this list at my party. ''[kisses her dad and runs out]'' Bye! I'll be at the mall with my friends. 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''':  Wait, don't leave! My dad got Boys Who Cry to play! You did get Boys Who Cry, right? ''[Glaring crossed-arms at her dad]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it! ''[curtain unfolds as R &amp; B Music begins to play with Squidward standing on the stage]''
:'''Squidward''': Hello, ladies. ''[sings &quot;It's all about you&quot;]''  ''When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-Ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh!''
:'''Friend #2''': Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry!
:'''Judy''': Yeah! ''[Cut to Squidward shaking his rear end]''
:'''Friend #2''': Boo!
:'''Friend #1''': What a rip-off!
:'''Judy''': This stinks!
:'''Pearl''': Daddy, how could you?! I... gave... you... a ''list?!'' ''[runs out crying]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl, come back! ''[crowd throws tomatoes, eggs and Pearl’s meat head at Squidward]''
:'''Pearl''': You've ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me! ''[cries]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Boys Who Cry''': (&quot;It's all about you&quot;) ''It's all about you, girl... on your &lt;big&gt;16&lt;/big&gt;{{small|th}} birthday!&lt;br /&gt;Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.&lt;br /&gt;You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!''

==Episode 12==
===&quot;All That Glitters&quot; (12.1)===
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, we better get back to work.
:'''Spongebob''':''Work?'' How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Use another spatular.
:'''Spongebob''': ''[close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like]'' '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WHAT?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! ''[runs off to the hospital]'' I'm coming, Spat! ''[scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed]'' Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
:''[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]''
:'''Doctor''':  There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. ''[SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around]'' Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.
:'''Spongebob''': Thank you, Doctor.
:'''Doctor''':  Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''':  ''[back in the kitchen]'' One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. ''[tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction]'' Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
:'''Le Spatula''': I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!
:'''Spongebob''': But, but, I thought we were friends?
:'''Le Spatula''':  Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! ''[jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor]'' Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! ''[runs out laughing]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]''
:'''Le Spatula''': How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! ''[spits and runs out]''
:'''Mr Krabs''': What happened?
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties without a spatular?!
:'''SpongeBob''':  I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.
:'''SpongeBob''':  You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.
:'''Mr. Krabs''':Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers! ''[starts to cry]''
:''[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula?? It can't be true! It's too late! ''[cries]''
:'''Doctor''': SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
:'''SpongeBob''': I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! ''[sobs]''
:'''Doctor''': Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'm so sorry. 
:''[SpongeBob cries some more]''
:'''Doctor''': Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. 
:''[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Spatula! 
:''[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! 
:''[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula, what's wrong? 
:''[Spat shakes its head]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!
:''[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]''
:'''SpongeBob #2''': ''[while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor]'' All that glitters is not gold.
:''[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Good-bye, best friend.
:''[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll never find another spatula like him again. 
:''[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula? You're back!
:''[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
:''[Back at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Squidward''': One monster Krabby Patty. 
:''[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. ''[SpongeBob's arms come off]'' D'oh! 
:''[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]''

===[[w:Wishing You Well|&quot;Wishing You Well&quot; (12.2)]]===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[upon learning about wishing wells]'' You mean suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
:'''Harold''': Can we have our quarter back now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': ''[shoves Patrick]'' Stop pushing me Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': You mean like this? ''[shoves Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': No like this! ''[shoves Patrick]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting]'' You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. ''[scene zooms to outside the well]''
:'''Squidward''': Patrick, get off of me! ''[scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward]'' I told you I am claustrophobic!
:'''Patrick''': Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
:'''Squidward''': ''[yelling]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''PATRICK!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

==Episode 13==
===&quot;New Leaf&quot; (13.1)===
:''[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]''
:'''Plankton''': Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. ''[laughs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. ''[laughs then sighs]'' Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Grr...
:'''Plankton''': But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes.
:'''Plankton''': Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. ''[takes out the formula]'' You know you want it.
:'''Plankton''': Thanks… but no.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': A-ha, I knew it. ''[chuckles]'' It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
:'''Plankton''': Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... ''[throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps]'' ...A sham, a snow job... ''[throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them]'' ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of ''Jive''! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
:'''Plankton''': Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop. Too slow. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[very angry, screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. ''[drops the formula]'' Oops.
:'''Plankton''': What's this? ''[groans]'' Hey, Krabs!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew you'd come back.
:'''Plankton''': You forgot something. ''[throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs]'' Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. 
:''[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium leaving Mr. Krabs upset realizing that plankton was telling the truth]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... ''[cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]''

===&quot;Once Bitten&quot; (13.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I won't let you touch Gary!
:'''Harold''': Stop the madness, man! The mad snail disease ends now... '''SEIZE THE SNAIL!'''

==Episode 14==
===&quot;Bummer Vacation&quot; (14.1)===
:'''Patrick''': ''[puts his finger in his head]'' Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

==Episode 15==
===&quot;Squidtastic Voyage&quot; (15.1)===
:'''Sandy''': ''[Over the speaker]'' Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. ''[The scene returns to her.]'' Now all you have to do is... ''[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]''
:'''Squidward''': Get out of my body! Go!
:'''Patrick''': Grow? ''[He presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob.]''
:'''Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===&quot;That's No Lady&quot; (15.2)===
:'''Business fish''': Hey! ''[Patrick looks around confused]'' Hey, you there!
:'''Patrick''': Who, me?
:'''Business fish''': Yes, you! &lt;big&gt;'''GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by]'' '''Get outta town'''... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. ''[Shows a flier for a vacation]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait, stop! What about all our plans?! 8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick! Who's gonna do all that with me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Business fish''': Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': I'll be right there, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter, Patrick?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' The paid assassin!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': ''[he and SpongeBob walk up to the customer nervously]'' What can I get you, sir?
:'''Business fish''': Say, don't I know you from somewhere?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': No!
:'''Business fish''': Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': He's onto us!
:'''SpongeBob''': I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
:'''Squidward &amp; Mr. Krabs''': '''PATRICK!?!?'''
:'''Business fish''': You forgot your flyer. ''[hands them one of his flyers]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading flyer]'' &quot;Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.&quot; Patrick, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price.
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. ''[rips off his disguise. Everyone gasps while Squidward's eyes shrink in horror]''
:'''Squidward''': Umm, I think I need to take a shower.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman?
:'''Patrick''': No.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list? ''[Patrick and SpongeBob look at list and gasp at what is on it]''
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!

==Episode 16==
===&quot;The Thing&quot; (16.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. ''[muffled whimpering from Smelly]'' Here's your food bowl.
:'''Patrick''': And some kibble. ''[pours in some food]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You can live here forever and ever. ''[Smelly cries]'' Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. ''[retrieves Gary]'' Smelly meet Gary. ''[Gary sticks to Smelly]'' Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. ''[Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly]'' Gary, no! ''[gets Gary off of Smelly]'' Gary. ''[Gary hisses]''
:'''Patrick''': I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
:'''Patrick''': Ah! He can come home with me.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. ''[Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down]'' Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. ''[opens door]'' Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. ''[Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]''
:'''Patrick''': No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

===&quot;Hocus Pocus&quot; (16.2)===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
:'''SpongeBob''': I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
:'''Patrick''': That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
:'''SpongeBob''': This is all my fault!
:'''Patrick''': Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
:'''Patrick''': Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

==Episode 17==
===&quot;Driven to Tears&quot; (17.1)===
:'''Announcer''': Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
:'''Patrick''': Does this mean I win a free keychain?

===&quot;Rule of Dumb&quot; (17.2)===
:''[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. 
:''[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]''
:'''Patrick''': King needs food badly.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What's this all ab... ''[gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes]'' Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
:'''SpongeBob''': The king would like...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
:'''Patrick''': I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got a better idea.

==Episode 18==
===&quot;Born to be Wild&quot; (18.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
:'''Old man''': Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

===&quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2)===

==Episode 19==
===&quot;Squid Wood&quot; (19.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? ''[Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him]'' Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
:'''Squidward''': It's called, &quot;I will never play with you... &lt;big&gt;'''EVER!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot; ''[throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]'' 

==Episode 20==
===[[w:Best Day Ever|&quot;Best Day Ever&quot; (20.1)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! ''[his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch]'' This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world, working at the Krusty Krab!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': How long do we have to keep this up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

===&quot;The Gift of Gum&quot; (20.2)===
:'''Robo 2.1''': Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
:''[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]''
:'''Patrick''': Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift. 

{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 4)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]</text>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] '''4''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
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&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned three movies, followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===&quot;Fear of a Krabby Patty&quot; (1.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Day... ''[record scratch]'' anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
:'''Squidward''': ''[Breathing heavily next to a pile of Krabby Patties]'' '''43...!''' ''[Gasps, as the top of his head expands and shrinks.]''

===&quot;Shell of a Man&quot; (1.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Noooooooo! ''[SpongeBob drops his Krabby Patty]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Mr. Krabs. ''[knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens]'' Hello? Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk]'' You alright? Are you sleepy? ''[pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor, revealing an empty shell]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[sniffs his arm]'' I don't smell his pulse. ''[in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob]'' What's that? ''[figure is behind a barrel]'' Is somebody there?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't look at me! Leave me be!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[throws barrel away]'' You're alive! And naked...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[crying]'' It's true. I've molted.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's molted?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow.

==Episode 2==
===&quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1)===
Argh, me back! 
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs? 

ALL MY MONEY WAS IN THAT MATTRESS!!! 

You blockheads woke the worm.

===&quot;Krabs vs. Plankton&quot; (2.2)===

==[[w:Have You Seen This Snail?|&quot;Have You Seen This Snail?&quot; (Episode 3)]]== 
Don’t they know I’m busy spoiling myself?

==Episode 4==
===&quot;Skill Crane&quot; (4.1)===
:'''Skill Crane''': ''[distinct scratchy voice]'' Squid... ward. ''[crane swinging back and forth]'' Squid... ward.

===&quot;Good Neighbors&quot; (4.2)===
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furiously turns red and opens the front door]'' Alright, you two! OUT! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick realizing that they are in trouble walk out]'' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow, or next week!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, does that include...? 
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily screams]'' YES, IT DOES! ''[slams door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
:'''Squidward''': ''[busts head through the door, exploding]'' YES, I WAS!!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! ''[deep breath]'' You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! ''[takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and stomps them into the ground]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
:'''Squidward''': ''[pops his head out of the hole in the middle of the door and explodes again]'' NO, YOU AREN'T!!! You're horrible neighbors! ''[angrily hyperventilates]'' '''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!'''

==Episode 5==
===[[w:Selling Out (SpongeBob SquarePants)|&quot;Selling Out&quot; (5.1)]]===
:'''Carl''': What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
:'''Squidward''': ''[bored]'' &quot;Sincere service with a smile.&quot;
:'''Carl''': Well yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays sprit! Now, Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources. ''[A big buff fish threatens to punch Squidward from behind the HR door]'' Would you? So, what's our motto again?
:'''Squidward''': ''[now nervous]'' Uh...uh. &quot;S-sincere service...&quot; ''[slaps himself and is now trying to look happy]'' &quot;...with a smile!&quot; ''[The HR fish slides back into his room]''
:'''Carl''': Now you're getting it!

===&quot;Funny Pants&quot; (5.2)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
:'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box! ''[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]''
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
:'''Squidward''': ''[taken aback by the revelation]'' Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
:'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?
:'''Squidward''': Yeah. ''[both laugh]'' You really fell for it.
:'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did!
:'''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[stops laughing]'' It's really not that funny, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': It's hilarious!
:'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. ''[goes into his house]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[still laughing]'' Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. ''[his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]'' yahhhh! ''[Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his laughter) and falls flat to the ground, the episode ends while two paramedics come take him to the hospital]''

==[[w:Dunces and Dragons|&quot;Dunces and Dragons&quot; (Episode 6)]]==
:'''SpongeBob''': They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
:'''Patrick''': What's that?
:'''Squidly''': ♪''The evil wizard's dragon is here.'' 
:''See the townsfolk scream with fear.'' 
:''See the townsfolk try to run.''
:''I can tell this won't be fun.'' 
:''The dragon will torch everything.'' 
:''Everything in the valley. Hospitals,'' 
:''schools, retirement homes,''
:''and even ye olde bowling alley.''♪
:'''Citizen''': Not the bowling alley! ''[dragon zaps bowling alley into dust. Citizen bawling]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Patrick? We really are in medieval times!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no, I think I left the water running at home!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Guard''': Right this way.
:'''SpongeBob''': Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, &quot;Righteth this way-eth!&quot;
:'''Guard''': ''[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down]'' Some day, but not today.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[at the guillotine]'' Well, I guess this is it, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, SpongeBob! ''[crying]''
:'''SpongeBob''':  I'll miss you, too, buddy! ''[both sobbing as King Krabs crashes into the guillotine, breaking it. Dragon takes Princess Pearl away]''
:'''Princess Pearl''': Daddy, help!
:'''King Krabs''': Pearl! ''[cries]'' Can no one stop this madness?! ''[sun shines on SpongeBob and Patrick]'' You two, my apologies. ''[kisses their feet]'' Most noble and valiant warriors.
:'''Patrick''': I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob is about to finish off the Dark Knight]''
:'''Dark Knight''': You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't understand a word you just said! ''[laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel, but with the crosses for eyes]'' Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy...? ''[screen turns black then water is thrown onto the Dark Knight]'' Patrick, it's working! Do it again. ''[Patrick gathers spit and spits it upon her]''
:'''Dark Knight''': Thou hath spared me, kind and noble sponge. And to thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Planktonamor and learn a trifle of that karate.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, karate! ''[karate chops Squidly in half]''
:'''Squidly''': Oweth.

==Episode 7==

===&quot;Enemy In-Law&quot; (7.1)===

:'''Plankton''': ''[everyone running around inside]'' Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches, you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. ''[everyone stops in their tracks]''
:'''Nat''': What, you mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
:'''Plankton''': Come on, it's a standard marketing technique. [people leave]
:'''Nat''': You little twerp!
:'''Plankton''': Hey!
:'''Karen''': He's right, ya know.
:'''Plankton''': Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
:'''Karen''': Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
:'''Plankton''': Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
:'''Karen''': Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
:'''Plankton''': Fine, I'm wrong and you're right.
:'''Karen''': You said it, not me. You know, you're lucky to have me.
:'''Plankton''': ''[walking away]'' Why did I ever install that nagging software?
:'''Karen''': &quot;Nagging software&quot;? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman, not a girl in a cold-hearted shell. ''[hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope on her]'' Such beauty. She's an angel, and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart.
:'''Karen''': Plankton, you've fallen in love with another woman!? I'm your wife!
:'''Plankton''': You're a W.I.F.E. ''[pulls out a chart]'' &lt;big&gt;'''W'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|ired}} '''&lt;big&gt;I&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|ntegratred}} &lt;big&gt;'''F'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|emale}} '''&lt;big&gt;E&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|lectroencephalograph}}.
:'''Karen''': Oh, you always pull that one out! &quot;You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!&quot;
:'''Plankton''': ''[sighing]'' Why don't you have an &quot;off&quot; switch? ''[sees it and smiles]''
:'''Karen''': Plankton, don't you dare... ''[turns off]''
:'''Plankton''': And now to woo that beloved creature.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
:'''SpongeBob''': Terribly sorry, sir. ''[pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it]'' Will there be anything else?
:'''Plankton''': Is my tie on straight?
:'''SpongeBob''': You... look FABULOUS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': ''[pulls rose away from his body]'' Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight.
:'''Betsy''': ''[notices Plankton]'' Oh, my. You're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. ''[sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her]'' Tell me about yourself.
:'''Plankton''': Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restaurateur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
:'''Betsy''': Never heard of it.
:'''Plankton''': ''[points to the Chum Bucket]'' It's across the street.
:'''Betsy''': Doesn't ring a bell.
:'''Plankton''' ''[shows her the back of a phone book with a picture of him and the Chum Bucket]'' It's on the back of the phone book! Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad! ''[puts the book away]'' Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
:'''Betsy''': Well...
:'''Eugene''': Plankton!
:'''Plankton''': Krabs!
:'''Betsy''': Eugene!
:'''Eugene''': Mommy?
:'''Plankton''': &quot;Mommy&quot;?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in the air]'' SpongeBob!
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob...!
:'''Plankton''': This delectable creature is your mother?
:'''Eugene''': This no-good conniving chiseler is your date!?
:'''SpongeBob''': And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Eugene''': Mommy? You!
:'''Plankton''': Eugene.
:'''Eugene''': I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
:'''Eugene''': All you like is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
:'''Eugene''': I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
:'''Plankton''': Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
:'''Eugene''': Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! ''[Plankton frowns]'' I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. ''[walks out]''
:'''Plankton''': Not family, eh? I can fix that.

===&quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture&quot; (7.2)===
:'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
:'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! ''[both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car]'' Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
:'''Kelp Thing''': But I must do what I do. ''[jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed]'' Huh? ''[jumps down and then walks away]''
:'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.! 

We can’t make a movie! 
Hey, little hero, this reminds me of episode.

==Episode 8==
===&quot;Patrick SmartPants&quot; (8.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You're back!
:'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back.
:''[They hug each other]''

===&quot;SquidBob TentaclePants&quot; (8.2)===
:'''Sandy''': Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
:'''SpongeBob/Squidward''': Sandy?
:'''Sandy''': One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. 
:''[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet]'' Hmph. ''[plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]''
:'''Mary''': I think I'm going to be sick. 
:''[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]''
:'''Billy''': Ah, I'm out of here!
:'''Squidward''': Huh, no wait. Wait! ''[everyone leaves]'' Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. ''[grabs the Molecular Separator Ray]'' There's got to be some way to reverse this. ''[pushes the button over and over]''
:'''Sandy''': No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, I wouldn't... 
:''[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]''
:'''Therapist''': ''[talking to Squidward]'' So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
:'''Squidward''': It all started... when I was born. 
:''[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]''

==Episode 9==
===&quot;Krusty Towers&quot; (9.1)===
:''[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $15,000!?!
:'''Squidward''': You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
:'''Patrick''': This is a hospital?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
:'''Patrick and SpongeBob''': Hooray!
:'''Squidward''': Oh, boy...

===[[w:Mrs. Puff, You're Fired|&quot;Mrs. Puff, You're Fired&quot; (9.2)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course]'' So, heh... how'd I do?
:'''Roderick''': How'd you do? ''[lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed]'' Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this &quot;''pedestrian''&quot; '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;HOW YOU DID?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' 

Did I pass?

==Episode 10==
===&quot;Chimps Ahoy&quot; (10.1)===
:'''Patrick''': That's &quot;Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick&quot; to you.

===&quot;Ghost Host&quot; (10.2)===
:'''Flying Dutchman''': Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. ''[flies back up to his ship]'' Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. ''[ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

==Episode 11==
===&quot;Whale of a Birthday&quot; (11.1)===
:'''Pearl''': ''[approaches Mr. Krabs]'' Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap! ''[pops the bubble wrap]'' This year's gonna be a blast!
:'''Pearl''':  Daddy! You've ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ''ruin'' this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap!
Mr. Krabs: ''[gulps]'' I promise.
:'''Pearl''':   Good, because I made a list. ''[list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up]'' Now I want everything on this list at my party. ''[kisses her dad and runs out]'' Bye! I'll be at the mall with my friends. 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''':  Wait, don't leave! My dad got Boys Who Cry to play! You did get Boys Who Cry, right? ''[Glaring crossed-arms at her dad]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it! ''[curtain unfolds as R &amp; B Music begins to play with Squidward standing on the stage]''
:'''Squidward''': Hello, ladies. ''[sings &quot;It's all about you&quot;]''  ''When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-Ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh!''
:'''Friend #2''': Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry!
:'''Judy''': Yeah! ''[Cut to Squidward shaking his rear end]''
:'''Friend #2''': Boo!
:'''Friend #1''': What a rip-off!
:'''Judy''': This stinks!
:'''Pearl''': Daddy, how could you?! I... gave... you... a ''list?!'' ''[runs out crying]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl, come back! ''[crowd throws tomatoes, eggs and Pearl’s meat head at Squidward]''
:'''Pearl''': You've ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me! ''[cries]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Boys Who Cry''': (&quot;It's all about you&quot;) ''It's all about you, girl... on your &lt;big&gt;16&lt;/big&gt;{{small|th}} birthday!&lt;br /&gt;Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.&lt;br /&gt;You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!''

==Episode 12==
===&quot;All That Glitters&quot; (12.1)===
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, we better get back to work.
:'''Spongebob''':''Work?'' How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Use another spatular.
:'''Spongebob''': ''[close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like]'' '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WHAT?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! ''[runs off to the hospital]'' I'm coming, Spat! ''[scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed]'' Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
:''[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]''
:'''Doctor''':  There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. ''[SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around]'' Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.
:'''Spongebob''': Thank you, Doctor.
:'''Doctor''':  Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''':  ''[back in the kitchen]'' One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. ''[tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction]'' Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
:'''Le Spatula''': I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!
:'''Spongebob''': But, but, I thought we were friends?
:'''Le Spatula''':  Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! ''[jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor]'' Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! ''[runs out laughing]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]''
:'''Le Spatula''': How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! ''[spits and runs out]''
:'''Mr Krabs''': What happened?
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties without a spatular?!
:'''SpongeBob''':  I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.
:'''SpongeBob''':  You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.
:'''Mr. Krabs''':Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers! ''[starts to cry]''
:''[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula?? It can't be true! It's too late! ''[cries]''
:'''Doctor''': SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
:'''SpongeBob''': I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! ''[sobs]''
:'''Doctor''': Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'm so sorry. 
:''[SpongeBob cries some more]''
:'''Doctor''': Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. 
:''[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Spatula! 
:''[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! 
:''[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula, what's wrong? 
:''[Spat shakes its head]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!
:''[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]''
:'''SpongeBob #2''': ''[while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor]'' All that glitters is not gold.
:''[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Good-bye, best friend.
:''[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll never find another spatula like him again. 
:''[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula? You're back!
:''[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
:''[Back at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Squidward''': One monster Krabby Patty. 
:''[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. ''[SpongeBob's arms come off]'' D'oh! 
:''[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]''

===[[w:Wishing You Well|&quot;Wishing You Well&quot; (12.2)]]===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[upon learning about wishing wells]'' You mean suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
:'''Harold''': Can we have our quarter back now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': ''[shoves Patrick]'' Stop pushing me Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': You mean like this? ''[shoves Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': No like this! ''[shoves Patrick]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting]'' You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. ''[scene zooms to outside the well]''
:'''Squidward''': Patrick, get off of me! ''[scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward]'' I told you I am claustrophobic!
:'''Patrick''': Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
:'''Squidward''': ''[yelling]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''PATRICK!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

==Episode 13==
===&quot;New Leaf&quot; (13.1)===
:''[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]''
:'''Plankton''': Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. ''[laughs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. ''[laughs then sighs]'' Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Grr...
:'''Plankton''': But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes.
:'''Plankton''': Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. ''[takes out the formula]'' You know you want it.
:'''Plankton''': Thanks… but no.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': A-ha, I knew it. ''[chuckles]'' It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
:'''Plankton''': Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... ''[throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps]'' ...A sham, a snow job... ''[throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them]'' ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of ''Jive''! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
:'''Plankton''': Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop. Too slow. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[very angry, screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. ''[drops the formula]'' Oops.
:'''Plankton''': What's this? ''[groans]'' Hey, Krabs!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew you'd come back.
:'''Plankton''': You forgot something. ''[throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs]'' Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. 
:''[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium leaving Mr. Krabs upset realizing that plankton was telling the truth]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... ''[cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]''

===&quot;Once Bitten&quot; (13.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I won't let you touch Gary!
:'''Harold''': Stop the madness, man! The mad snail disease ends now... '''SEIZE THE SNAIL!'''

==Episode 14==
===&quot;Bummer Vacation&quot; (14.1)===
:'''Patrick''': ''[puts his finger in his head]'' Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

==Episode 15==
===&quot;Squidtastic Voyage&quot; (15.1)===
:'''Sandy''': ''[Over the speaker]'' Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. ''[The scene returns to her.]'' Now all you have to do is... ''[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]''
:'''Squidward''': Get out of my body! Go!
:'''Patrick''': Grow? ''[He presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob.]''
:'''Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===&quot;That's No Lady&quot; (15.2)===
:'''Business fish''': Hey! ''[Patrick looks around confused]'' Hey, you there!
:'''Patrick''': Who, me?
:'''Business fish''': Yes, you! &lt;big&gt;'''GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by]'' '''Get outta town'''... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. ''[Shows a flier for a vacation]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait, stop! What about all our plans?! 8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick! Who's gonna do all that with me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Business fish''': Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': I'll be right there, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter, Patrick?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' The paid assassin!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': ''[he and SpongeBob walk up to the customer nervously]'' What can I get you, sir?
:'''Business fish''': Say, don't I know you from somewhere?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': No!
:'''Business fish''': Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': He's onto us!
:'''SpongeBob''': I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
:'''Squidward &amp; Mr. Krabs''': '''PATRICK!?!?'''
:'''Business fish''': You forgot your flyer. ''[hands them one of his flyers]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading flyer]'' &quot;Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.&quot; Patrick, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price.
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. ''[rips off his disguise. Everyone gasps while Squidward's eyes shrink in horror]''
:'''Squidward''': Umm, I think I need to take a shower.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman?
:'''Patrick''': No.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list? ''[Patrick and SpongeBob look at list and gasp at what is on it]''
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!

==Episode 16==
===&quot;The Thing&quot; (16.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. ''[muffled whimpering from Smelly]'' Here's your food bowl.
:'''Patrick''': And some kibble. ''[pours in some food]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You can live here forever and ever. ''[Smelly cries]'' Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. ''[retrieves Gary]'' Smelly meet Gary. ''[Gary sticks to Smelly]'' Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. ''[Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly]'' Gary, no! ''[gets Gary off of Smelly]'' Gary. ''[Gary hisses]''
:'''Patrick''': I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
:'''Patrick''': Ah! He can come home with me.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. ''[Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down]'' Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. ''[opens door]'' Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. ''[Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]''
:'''Patrick''': No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

===&quot;Hocus Pocus&quot; (16.2)===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
:'''SpongeBob''': I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
:'''Patrick''': That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
:'''SpongeBob''': This is all my fault!
:'''Patrick''': Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
:'''Patrick''': Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

==Episode 17==
===&quot;Driven to Tears&quot; (17.1)===
:'''Announcer''': Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
:'''Patrick''': Does this mean I win a free keychain?

===&quot;Rule of Dumb&quot; (17.2)===
:''[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. 
:''[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]''
:'''Patrick''': King needs food badly.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What's this all ab... ''[gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes]'' Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
:'''SpongeBob''': The king would like...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
:'''Patrick''': I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got a better idea.

==Episode 18==
===&quot;Born to be Wild&quot; (18.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
:'''Old man''': Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

===&quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2)===

==Episode 19==
===&quot;Squid Wood&quot; (19.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? ''[Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him]'' Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
:'''Squidward''': It's called, &quot;I will never play with you... &lt;big&gt;'''EVER!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot; ''[throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]'' 

==Episode 20==
===[[w:Best Day Ever|&quot;Best Day Ever&quot; (20.1)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! ''[his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch]'' This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world, working at the Krusty Krab!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': How long do we have to keep this up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

===&quot;The Gift of Gum&quot; (20.2)===
:'''Robo 2.1''': Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
:''[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]''
:'''Patrick''': Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift. 

{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 4)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]</text>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] '''4''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned three movies, followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===&quot;Fear of a Krabby Patty&quot; (1.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Day... ''[record scratch]'' anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
:'''Squidward''': ''[Breathing heavily next to a pile of Krabby Patties]'' '''43...!''' ''[Gasps, as the top of his head expands and shrinks.]''

===&quot;Shell of a Man&quot; (1.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Noooooooo! ''[SpongeBob drops his Krabby Patty]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Mr. Krabs. ''[knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens]'' Hello? Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk]'' You alright? Are you sleepy? ''[pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor, revealing an empty shell]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[sniffs his arm]'' I don't smell his pulse. ''[in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob]'' What's that? ''[figure is behind a barrel]'' Is somebody there?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't look at me! Leave me be!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[throws barrel away]'' You're alive! And naked...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[crying]'' It's true. I've molted.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's molted?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow.

==Episode 2==
===&quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1)===
Argh, me back! 
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs? 

ALL MY MONEY WAS IN THAT MATTRESS!!! 

You blockheads woke the worm.

===&quot;Krabs vs. Plankton&quot; (2.2)===

==[[w:Have You Seen This Snail?|&quot;Have You Seen This Snail?&quot; (Episode 3)]]== 
Don’t they know I’m busy spoiling myself?

==Episode 4==
===&quot;Skill Crane&quot; (4.1)===
:'''Skill Crane''': ''[distinct scratchy voice]'' Squid... ward. ''[crane swinging back and forth]'' Squid... ward.

===&quot;Good Neighbors&quot; (4.2)===
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furiously turns red and opens the front door]'' Alright, you two! OUT! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick realizing that they are in trouble walk out]'' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow, or next week!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, does that include...? 
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily screams]'' YES, IT DOES! ''[slams door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
:'''Squidward''': ''[busts head through the door, exploding]'' YES, I WAS!!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! ''[deep breath]'' You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! ''[takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and stomps them into the ground]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
:'''Squidward''': ''[pops his head out of the hole in the middle of the door and explodes again]'' NO, YOU AREN'T!!! You're horrible neighbors! ''[angrily hyperventilates]'' '''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!'''

==Episode 5==
===[[w:Selling Out (SpongeBob SquarePants)|&quot;Selling Out&quot; (5.1)]]===
:'''Carl''': What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
:'''Squidward''': ''[bored]'' &quot;Sincere service with a smile.&quot;
:'''Carl''': Well yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays sprit! Now, Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources. ''[A big buff fish threatens to punch Squidward from behind the HR door]'' Would you? So, what's our motto again?
:'''Squidward''': ''[now nervous]'' Uh...uh. &quot;S-sincere service...&quot; ''[slaps himself and is now trying to look happy]'' &quot;...with a smile!&quot; ''[The HR fish slides back into his room]''
:'''Carl''': Now you're getting it!

===&quot;Funny Pants&quot; (5.2)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
:'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box! ''[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]''
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
:'''Squidward''': ''[taken aback by the revelation]'' Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
:'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?
:'''Squidward''': Yeah. ''[both laugh]'' You really fell for it.
:'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did!
:'''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[stops laughing]'' It's really not that funny, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': It's hilarious!
:'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. ''[goes into his house]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[still laughing]'' Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. ''[his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]'' yahhhh! ''[Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his laughter) and falls flat to the ground, the episode ends while two paramedics come take him to the hospital]''

==[[w:Dunces and Dragons|&quot;Dunces and Dragons&quot; (Episode 6)]]==
:'''SpongeBob''': They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
:'''Patrick''': What's that?
:'''Squidly''': ♪''The evil wizard's dragon is here.'' 
:''See the townsfolk scream with fear.'' 
:''See the townsfolk try to run.''
:''I can tell this won't be fun.'' 
:''The dragon will torch everything.'' 
:''Everything in the valley. Hospitals,'' 
:''schools, retirement homes,''
:''and even ye olde bowling alley.''♪
:'''Citizen''': Not the bowling alley! ''[dragon zaps bowling alley into dust. Citizen bawling]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Patrick? We really are in medieval times!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no, I think I left the water running at home!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Guard''': Right this way.
:'''SpongeBob''': Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, &quot;Righteth this way-eth!&quot;
:'''Guard''': ''[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down]'' Some day, but not today.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[at the guillotine]'' Well, I guess this is it, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, SpongeBob! ''[crying]''
:'''SpongeBob''':  I'll miss you, too, buddy! ''[both sobbing as King Krabs crashes into the guillotine, breaking it. Dragon takes Princess Pearl away]''
:'''Princess Pearl''': Daddy, help!
:'''King Krabs''': Pearl! ''[cries]'' Can no one stop this madness?! ''[sun shines on SpongeBob and Patrick]'' You two, my apologies. ''[kisses their feet]'' Most noble and valiant warriors.
:'''Patrick''': I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob is about to finish off the Dark Knight]''
:'''Dark Knight''': You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't understand a word you just said! ''[laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel, but with the crosses for eyes]'' Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy...? ''[screen turns black then water is thrown onto the Dark Knight]'' Patrick, it's working! Do it again. ''[Patrick gathers spit and spits it upon her]''
:'''Dark Knight''': Thou hath spared me, kind and noble sponge. And to thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Planktonamor and learn a trifle of that karate.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, karate! ''[karate chops Squidly in half]''
:'''Squidly''': Oweth.

==Episode 7==

===&quot;Enemy In-Law&quot; (7.1)===

:'''Plankton''': ''[everyone running around inside]'' Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches, you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. ''[everyone stops in their tracks]''
:'''Nat''': What, you mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
:'''Plankton''': Come on, it's a standard marketing technique. [people leave]
:'''Nat''': You little twerp!
:'''Plankton''': Hey!
:'''Karen''': He's right, ya know.
:'''Plankton''': Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
:'''Karen''': Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
:'''Plankton''': Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
:'''Karen''': Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
:'''Plankton''': Fine, I'm wrong and you're right.
:'''Karen''': You said it, not me. You know, you're lucky to have me.
:'''Plankton''': ''[walking away]'' Why did I ever install that nagging software?
:'''Karen''': &quot;Nagging software&quot;? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman, not a girl in a cold-hearted shell. ''[hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope on her]'' Such beauty. She's an angel, and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart.
:'''Karen''': Plankton, you've fallen in love with another woman!? I'm your wife!
:'''Plankton''': You're a W.I.F.E. ''[pulls out a chart]'' &lt;big&gt;'''W'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|ired}} '''&lt;big&gt;I&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|ntegratred}} &lt;big&gt;'''F'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|emale}} '''&lt;big&gt;E&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|lectroencephalograph}}.
:'''Karen''': Oh, you always pull that one out! &quot;You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!&quot;
:'''Plankton''': ''[sighing]'' Why don't you have an &quot;off&quot; switch? ''[sees it and smiles]''
:'''Karen''': Plankton, don't you dare... ''[turns off]''
:'''Plankton''': And now to woo that beloved creature.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
:'''SpongeBob''': Terribly sorry, sir. ''[pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it]'' Will there be anything else?
:'''Plankton''': Is my tie on straight?
:'''SpongeBob''': You... look FABULOUS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': ''[pulls rose away from his body]'' Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight.
:'''Betsy''': ''[notices Plankton]'' Oh, my. You're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. ''[sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her]'' Tell me about yourself.
:'''Plankton''': Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restaurateur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
:'''Betsy''': Never heard of it.
:'''Plankton''': ''[points to the Chum Bucket]'' It's across the street.
:'''Betsy''': Doesn't ring a bell.
:'''Plankton''' ''[shows her the back of a phone book with a picture of him and the Chum Bucket]'' It's on the back of the phone book! Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad! ''[puts the book away]'' Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
:'''Betsy''': Well...
:'''Eugene''': Plankton!
:'''Plankton''': Krabs!
:'''Betsy''': Eugene!
:'''Eugene''': Mommy?
:'''Plankton''': &quot;Mommy&quot;?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in the air]'' SpongeBob!
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob...!
:'''Plankton''': This delectable creature is your mother?
:'''Eugene''': This no-good conniving chiseler is your date!?
:'''SpongeBob''': And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Eugene''': Mommy? You!
:'''Plankton''': Eugene.
:'''Eugene''': I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
:'''Eugene''': All you like is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
:'''Eugene''': I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
:'''Plankton''': Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
:'''Eugene''': Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! ''[Plankton frowns]'' I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. ''[walks out]''
:'''Plankton''': Not family, eh? I can fix that.

===&quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture&quot; (7.2)===
:'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
:'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! ''[both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car]'' Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
:'''Kelp Thing''': But I must do what I do. ''[jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed]'' Huh? ''[jumps down and then walks away]''
:'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.! 

We can’t make a movie! 
Hey, little hero, this reminds me of episode.

==Episode 8==
===&quot;Patrick SmartPants&quot; (8.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You're back!
:'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back.
:''[They hug each other]''

===&quot;SquidBob TentaclePants&quot; (8.2)===
:'''Sandy''': Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
:'''SpongeBob/Squidward''': Sandy?
:'''Sandy''': One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. 
:''[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet]'' Hmph. ''[plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]''
:'''Mary''': I think I'm going to be sick. 
:''[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]''
:'''Billy''': Ah, I'm out of here!
:'''Squidward''': Huh, no wait. Wait! ''[everyone leaves]'' Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. ''[grabs the Molecular Separator Ray]'' There's got to be some way to reverse this. ''[pushes the button over and over]''
:'''Sandy''': No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, I wouldn't... 
:''[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]''
:'''Therapist''': ''[talking to Squidward]'' So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
:'''Squidward''': It all started... when I was born. 
:''[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]''

==Episode 9==
===&quot;Krusty Towers&quot; (9.1)===
:''[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $15,000!?!
:'''Squidward''': You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
:'''Patrick''': This is a hospital?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
:'''Patrick and SpongeBob''': Hooray!
:'''Squidward''': Oh, boy...

===[[w:Mrs. Puff, You're Fired|&quot;Mrs. Puff, You're Fired&quot; (9.2)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course]'' So, heh... how'd I do?
:'''Roderick''': How'd you do? ''[lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed]'' Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this &quot;''pedestrian''&quot; '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;HOW YOU DID?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' 

Did I pass?

==Episode 10==
===&quot;Chimps Ahoy&quot; (10.1)===
:'''Patrick''': That's &quot;Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick&quot; to you.

===&quot;Ghost Host&quot; (10.2)===
:'''Flying Dutchman''': Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. ''[flies back up to his ship]'' Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. ''[ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

==Episode 11==
===&quot;Whale of a Birthday&quot; (11.1)===
:'''Pearl''': ''[approaches Mr. Krabs]'' Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap! ''[pops the bubble wrap]'' This year's gonna be a blast!
:'''Pearl''':  Daddy! You've ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ''ruin'' this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap!
Mr. Krabs: ''[gulps]'' I promise.
:'''Pearl''':   Good, because I made a list. ''[list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up]'' Now I want everything on this list at my party. ''[kisses her dad and runs out]'' Bye! I'll be at the mall with my friends. 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''':  Wait, don't leave! My dad got Boys Who Cry to play! You did get Boys Who Cry, right? ''[Glaring crossed-arms at her dad]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it! ''[curtain unfolds as R &amp; B Music begins to play with Squidward standing on the stage]''
:'''Squidward''': Hello, ladies. ''[sings &quot;It's all about you&quot;]''  ''When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-Ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh!''
:'''Friend #2''': Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry!
:'''Judy''': Yeah! ''[Cut to Squidward shaking his rear end]''
:'''Friend #2''': Boo!
:'''Friend #1''': What a rip-off!
:'''Judy''': This stinks!
:'''Pearl''': Daddy, how could you?! I... gave... you... a ''list?!'' ''[runs out crying]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl, come back! ''[crowd throws tomatoes, eggs and Pearl’s meat head at Squidward]''
:'''Pearl''': You've ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me! ''[cries]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Boys Who Cry''': (&quot;It's all about you&quot;) ''It's all about you, girl... on your &lt;big&gt;16&lt;/big&gt;{{small|th}} birthday!&lt;br /&gt;Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.&lt;br /&gt;You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!''

==Episode 12==
===&quot;All That Glitters&quot; (12.1)===
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, we better get back to work.
:'''Spongebob''':''Work?'' How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Use another spatular.
:'''Spongebob''': ''[close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like]'' '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WHAT?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! ''[runs off to the hospital]'' I'm coming, Spat! ''[scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed]'' Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
:''[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]''
:'''Doctor''':  There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. ''[SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around]'' Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.
:'''Spongebob''': Thank you, Doctor.
:'''Doctor''':  Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''':  ''[back in the kitchen]'' One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. ''[tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction]'' Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
:'''Le Spatula''': I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!
:'''Spongebob''': But, but, I thought we were friends?
:'''Le Spatula''':  Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! ''[jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor]'' Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! ''[runs out laughing]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]''
:'''Le Spatula''': How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! ''[spits and runs out]''
:'''Mr Krabs''': What happened?
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties without a spatular?!
:'''SpongeBob''':  I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.
:'''SpongeBob''':  You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.
:'''Mr. Krabs''':Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers! ''[starts to cry]''
:''[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula?? It can't be true! It's too late! ''[cries]''
:'''Doctor''': SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
:'''SpongeBob''': I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! ''[sobs]''
:'''Doctor''': Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'm so sorry. 
:''[SpongeBob cries some more]''
:'''Doctor''': Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. 
:''[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Spatula! 
:''[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! 
:''[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula, what's wrong? 
:''[Spat shakes its head]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!
:''[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]''
:'''SpongeBob #2''': ''[while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor]'' All that glitters is not gold.
:''[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Good-bye, best friend.
:''[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll never find another spatula like him again. 
:''[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula? You're back!
:''[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
:''[Back at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Squidward''': One monster Krabby Patty. 
:''[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. ''[SpongeBob's arms come off]'' D'oh! 
:''[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]''

===[[w:Wishing You Well|&quot;Wishing You Well&quot; (12.2)]]===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[upon learning about wishing wells]'' You mean suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
:'''Harold''': Can we have our quarter back now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': ''[shoves Patrick]'' Stop pushing me Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': You mean like this? ''[shoves Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': No like this! ''[shoves Patrick]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting]'' You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. ''[scene zooms to outside the well]''
:'''Squidward''': Patrick, get off of me! ''[scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward]'' I told you I am claustrophobic!
:'''Patrick''': Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
:'''Squidward''': ''[yelling]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''PATRICK!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

==Episode 13==
===&quot;New Leaf&quot; (13.1)===
:''[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]''
:'''Plankton''': Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. ''[laughs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. ''[laughs then sighs]'' Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Grr...
:'''Plankton''': But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes.
:'''Plankton''': Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. ''[takes out the formula]'' You know you want it.
:'''Plankton''': Thanks… but no.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': A-ha, I knew it. ''[chuckles]'' It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
:'''Plankton''': Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... ''[throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps]'' ...A sham, a snow job... ''[throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them]'' ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of ''Jive''! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
:'''Plankton''': Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop, too slow. ''[chuckles tauntingly]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[very angry, screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. ''[drops the formula]'' Oops.
:'''Plankton''': What's this? ''[groans]'' Hey, Krabs!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew you'd come back.
:'''Plankton''': You forgot something. ''[throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs]'' Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. 
:''[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium leaving Mr. Krabs upset realizing that Plankton was telling the truth]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... ''[cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]''

===&quot;Once Bitten&quot; (13.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I won't let you touch Gary!
:'''Harold''': Stop the madness, man! The mad snail disease ends now... '''SEIZE THE SNAIL!'''

==Episode 14==
===&quot;Bummer Vacation&quot; (14.1)===
:'''Patrick''': ''[puts his finger in his head]'' Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

==Episode 15==
===&quot;Squidtastic Voyage&quot; (15.1)===
:'''Sandy''': ''[Over the speaker]'' Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. ''[The scene returns to her.]'' Now all you have to do is... ''[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]''
:'''Squidward''': Get out of my body! Go!
:'''Patrick''': Grow? ''[He presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob.]''
:'''Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===&quot;That's No Lady&quot; (15.2)===
:'''Business fish''': Hey! ''[Patrick looks around confused]'' Hey, you there!
:'''Patrick''': Who, me?
:'''Business fish''': Yes, you! &lt;big&gt;'''GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by]'' '''Get outta town'''... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. ''[Shows a flier for a vacation]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait, stop! What about all our plans?! 8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick! Who's gonna do all that with me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Business fish''': Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': I'll be right there, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter, Patrick?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' The paid assassin!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': ''[he and SpongeBob walk up to the customer nervously]'' What can I get you, sir?
:'''Business fish''': Say, don't I know you from somewhere?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': No!
:'''Business fish''': Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': He's onto us!
:'''SpongeBob''': I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
:'''Squidward &amp; Mr. Krabs''': '''PATRICK!?!?'''
:'''Business fish''': You forgot your flyer. ''[hands them one of his flyers]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading flyer]'' &quot;Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.&quot; Patrick, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price.
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. ''[rips off his disguise. Everyone gasps while Squidward's eyes shrink in horror]''
:'''Squidward''': Umm, I think I need to take a shower.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman?
:'''Patrick''': No.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list? ''[Patrick and SpongeBob look at list and gasp at what is on it]''
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!

==Episode 16==
===&quot;The Thing&quot; (16.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. ''[muffled whimpering from Smelly]'' Here's your food bowl.
:'''Patrick''': And some kibble. ''[pours in some food]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You can live here forever and ever. ''[Smelly cries]'' Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. ''[retrieves Gary]'' Smelly meet Gary. ''[Gary sticks to Smelly]'' Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. ''[Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly]'' Gary, no! ''[gets Gary off of Smelly]'' Gary. ''[Gary hisses]''
:'''Patrick''': I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
:'''Patrick''': Ah! He can come home with me.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. ''[Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down]'' Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. ''[opens door]'' Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. ''[Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]''
:'''Patrick''': No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

===&quot;Hocus Pocus&quot; (16.2)===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
:'''SpongeBob''': I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
:'''Patrick''': That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
:'''SpongeBob''': This is all my fault!
:'''Patrick''': Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
:'''Patrick''': Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

==Episode 17==
===&quot;Driven to Tears&quot; (17.1)===
:'''Announcer''': Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
:'''Patrick''': Does this mean I win a free keychain?

===&quot;Rule of Dumb&quot; (17.2)===
:''[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. 
:''[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]''
:'''Patrick''': King needs food badly.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What's this all ab... ''[gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes]'' Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
:'''SpongeBob''': The king would like...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
:'''Patrick''': I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got a better idea.

==Episode 18==
===&quot;Born to be Wild&quot; (18.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
:'''Old man''': Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

===&quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2)===

==Episode 19==
===&quot;Squid Wood&quot; (19.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? ''[Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him]'' Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
:'''Squidward''': It's called, &quot;I will never play with you... &lt;big&gt;'''EVER!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot; ''[throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]'' 

==Episode 20==
===[[w:Best Day Ever|&quot;Best Day Ever&quot; (20.1)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! ''[his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch]'' This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world, working at the Krusty Krab!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': How long do we have to keep this up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

===&quot;The Gift of Gum&quot; (20.2)===
:'''Robo 2.1''': Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
:''[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]''
:'''Patrick''': Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift. 

{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 4)}}

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:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] '''4''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
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&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned three movies, followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===&quot;Fear of a Krabby Patty&quot; (1.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Day... ''[record scratch]'' anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
:'''Squidward''': ''[Breathing heavily next to a pile of Krabby Patties]'' '''43...!''' ''[Gasps, as the top of his head expands and shrinks.]''

===&quot;Shell of a Man&quot; (1.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Noooooooo! ''[SpongeBob drops his Krabby Patty]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Mr. Krabs. ''[knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens]'' Hello? Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk]'' You alright? Are you sleepy? ''[pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor, revealing an empty shell]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[sniffs his arm]'' I don't smell his pulse. ''[in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob]'' What's that? ''[figure is behind a barrel]'' Is somebody there?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't look at me! Leave me be!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[throws barrel away]'' You're alive! And naked...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[crying]'' It's true. I've molted.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's molted?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow.

==Episode 2==
===&quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1)===
Argh, me back! 
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs? 

ALL MY MONEY WAS IN THAT MATTRESS!!! 

You blockheads woke the worm.

===&quot;Krabs vs. Plankton&quot; (2.2)===

==[[w:Have You Seen This Snail?|&quot;Have You Seen This Snail?&quot; (Episode 3)]]== 
Don’t they know I’m busy spoiling myself?

==Episode 4==
===&quot;Skill Crane&quot; (4.1)===
:'''Skill Crane''': ''[distinct scratchy voice]'' Squid... ward. ''[crane swinging back and forth]'' Squid... ward.

===&quot;Good Neighbors&quot; (4.2)===
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furiously turns red and opens the front door]'' Alright, you two! OUT! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick realizing that they are in trouble walk out]'' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow, or next week!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, does that include...? 
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily screams]'' YES, IT DOES! ''[slams door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
:'''Squidward''': ''[busts head through the door, exploding]'' YES, I WAS!!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! ''[deep breath]'' You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! ''[takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and stomps them into the ground]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
:'''Squidward''': ''[pops his head out of the hole in the middle of the door and explodes again]'' NO, YOU AREN'T!!! You're horrible neighbors! ''[angrily hyperventilates]'' '''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!'''

==Episode 5==
===[[w:Selling Out (SpongeBob SquarePants)|&quot;Selling Out&quot; (5.1)]]===
:'''Carl''': What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
:'''Squidward''': ''[bored]'' &quot;Sincere service with a smile.&quot;
:'''Carl''': Well yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays sprit! Now, Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources. ''[A big buff fish threatens to punch Squidward from behind the HR door]'' Would you? So, what's our motto again?
:'''Squidward''': ''[now nervous]'' Uh...uh. &quot;S-sincere service...&quot; ''[slaps himself and is now trying to look happy]'' &quot;...with a smile!&quot; ''[The HR fish slides back into his room]''
:'''Carl''': Now you're getting it!

===&quot;Funny Pants&quot; (5.2)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
:'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box! ''[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]''
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
:'''Squidward''': ''[taken aback by the revelation]'' Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
:'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?
:'''Squidward''': Yeah. ''[both laugh]'' You really fell for it.
:'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did!
:'''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[stops laughing]'' It's really not that funny, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': It's hilarious!
:'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. ''[goes into his house]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[still laughing]'' Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. ''[his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]'' yahhhh! ''[Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his laughter) and falls flat to the ground, the episode ends while two paramedics come take him to the hospital]''

==[[w:Dunces and Dragons|&quot;Dunces and Dragons&quot; (Episode 6)]]==
:'''SpongeBob''': They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
:'''Patrick''': What's that?
:'''Squidly''': ♪''The evil wizard's dragon is here.'' 
:''See the townsfolk scream with fear.'' 
:''See the townsfolk try to run.''
:''I can tell this won't be fun.'' 
:''The dragon will torch everything.'' 
:''Everything in the valley. Hospitals,'' 
:''schools, retirement homes,''
:''and even ye olde bowling alley.''♪
:'''Citizen''': Not the bowling alley! ''[dragon zaps bowling alley into dust. Citizen bawling]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Patrick? We really are in medieval times!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no, I think I left the water running at home!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Guard''': Right this way.
:'''SpongeBob''': Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, &quot;Righteth this way-eth!&quot;
:'''Guard''': ''[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down]'' Some day, but not today.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[at the guillotine]'' Well, I guess this is it, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, SpongeBob! ''[crying]''
:'''SpongeBob''':  I'll miss you, too, buddy! ''[both sobbing as King Krabs crashes into the guillotine, breaking it. Dragon takes Princess Pearl away]''
:'''Princess Pearl''': Daddy, help!
:'''King Krabs''': Pearl! ''[cries]'' Can no one stop this madness?! ''[sun shines on SpongeBob and Patrick]'' You two, my apologies. ''[kisses their feet]'' Most noble and valiant warriors.
:'''Patrick''': I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob is about to finish off the Dark Knight]''
:'''Dark Knight''': You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't understand a word you just said! ''[laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel, but with the crosses for eyes]'' Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy...? ''[screen turns black then water is thrown onto the Dark Knight]'' Patrick, it's working! Do it again. ''[Patrick gathers spit and spits it upon her]''
:'''Dark Knight''': Thou hath spared me, kind and noble sponge. And to thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Planktonamor and learn a trifle of that karate.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, karate! ''[karate chops Squidly in half]''
:'''Squidly''': Oweth.

==Episode 7==

===&quot;Enemy In-Law&quot; (7.1)===

:'''Plankton''': ''[everyone running around inside]'' Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches, you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. ''[everyone stops in their tracks]''
:'''Nat''': What, you mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
:'''Plankton''': Come on, it's a standard marketing technique. [people leave]
:'''Nat''': You little twerp!
:'''Plankton''': Hey!
:'''Karen''': He's right, ya know.
:'''Plankton''': Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
:'''Karen''': Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
:'''Plankton''': Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
:'''Karen''': Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
:'''Plankton''': Fine, I'm wrong and you're right.
:'''Karen''': You said it, not me. You know, you're lucky to have me.
:'''Plankton''': ''[walking away]'' Why did I ever install that nagging software?
:'''Karen''': &quot;Nagging software&quot;? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman, not a girl in a cold-hearted shell. ''[hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope on her]'' Such beauty. She's an angel, and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart.
:'''Karen''': Plankton, you've fallen in love with another woman!? I'm your wife!
:'''Plankton''': You're a W.I.F.E. ''[pulls out a chart]'' &lt;big&gt;'''W'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|ired}} '''&lt;big&gt;I&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|ntegratred}} &lt;big&gt;'''F'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|emale}} '''&lt;big&gt;E&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|lectroencephalograph}}.
:'''Karen''': Oh, you always pull that one out! &quot;You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!&quot;
:'''Plankton''': ''[sighing]'' Why don't you have an &quot;off&quot; switch? ''[sees it and smiles]''
:'''Karen''': Plankton, don't you dare... ''[turns off]''
:'''Plankton''': And now to woo that beloved creature.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
:'''SpongeBob''': Terribly sorry, sir. ''[pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it]'' Will there be anything else?
:'''Plankton''': Is my tie on straight?
:'''SpongeBob''': You... look FABULOUS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': ''[pulls rose away from his body]'' Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight.
:'''Betsy''': ''[notices Plankton]'' Oh, my. You're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. ''[sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her]'' Tell me about yourself.
:'''Plankton''': Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restaurateur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
:'''Betsy''': Never heard of it.
:'''Plankton''': ''[points to the Chum Bucket]'' It's across the street.
:'''Betsy''': Doesn't ring a bell.
:'''Plankton''' ''[shows her the back of a phone book with a picture of him and the Chum Bucket]'' It's on the back of the phone book! Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad! ''[puts the book away]'' Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
:'''Betsy''': Well...
:'''Eugene''': Plankton!
:'''Plankton''': Krabs!
:'''Betsy''': Eugene!
:'''Eugene''': Mommy?
:'''Plankton''': &quot;Mommy&quot;?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in the air]'' SpongeBob!
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob...!
:'''Plankton''': This delectable creature is your mother?
:'''Eugene''': This no-good conniving chiseler is your date!?
:'''SpongeBob''': And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Eugene''': Mommy? You!
:'''Plankton''': Eugene.
:'''Eugene''': I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
:'''Eugene''': All you like is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
:'''Eugene''': I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
:'''Plankton''': Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
:'''Eugene''': Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! ''[Plankton frowns]'' I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. ''[walks out]''
:'''Plankton''': Not family, eh? I can fix that.

===&quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture&quot; (7.2)===
:'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
:'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! ''[both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car]'' Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
:'''Kelp Thing''': But I must do what I do. ''[jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed]'' Huh? ''[jumps down and then walks away]''
:'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.! 

We can’t make a movie! 
Hey, little hero, this reminds me of episode.

==Episode 8==
===&quot;Patrick SmartPants&quot; (8.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You're back!
:'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back.
:''[They hug each other]''

===&quot;SquidBob TentaclePants&quot; (8.2)===
:'''Sandy''': Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
:'''SpongeBob/Squidward''': Sandy?
:'''Sandy''': One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. 
:''[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet]'' Hmph. ''[plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]''
:'''Mary''': I think I'm going to be sick. 
:''[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]''
:'''Billy''': Ah, I'm out of here!
:'''Squidward''': Huh, no wait. Wait! ''[everyone leaves]'' Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. ''[grabs the Molecular Separator Ray]'' There's got to be some way to reverse this. ''[pushes the button over and over]''
:'''Sandy''': No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, I wouldn't... 
:''[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]''
:'''Therapist''': ''[talking to Squidward]'' So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
:'''Squidward''': It all started... when I was born. 
:''[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]''

==Episode 9==
===&quot;Krusty Towers&quot; (9.1)===
:''[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $15,000!?!
:'''Squidward''': You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
:'''Patrick''': This is a hospital?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
:'''Patrick and SpongeBob''': Hooray!
:'''Squidward''': Oh, boy...

===[[w:Mrs. Puff, You're Fired|&quot;Mrs. Puff, You're Fired&quot; (9.2)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course]'' So, heh... how'd I do?
:'''Roderick''': How'd you do? ''[lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed]'' Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this &quot;''pedestrian''&quot; '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;HOW YOU DID?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' 

Did I pass?

==Episode 10==
===&quot;Chimps Ahoy&quot; (10.1)===
:'''Patrick''': That's &quot;Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick&quot; to you.

===&quot;Ghost Host&quot; (10.2)===
:'''Flying Dutchman''': Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. ''[flies back up to his ship]'' Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. ''[ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

==Episode 11==
===&quot;Whale of a Birthday&quot; (11.1)===
:'''Pearl''': ''[approaches Mr. Krabs]'' Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap! ''[pops the bubble wrap]'' This year's gonna be a blast!
:'''Pearl''':  Daddy! You've ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ''ruin'' this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap!
Mr. Krabs: ''[gulps]'' I promise.
:'''Pearl''':   Good, because I made a list. ''[list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up]'' Now I want everything on this list at my party. ''[kisses her dad and runs out]'' Bye! I'll be at the mall with my friends. 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''':  Wait, don't leave! My dad got Boys Who Cry to play! You did get Boys Who Cry, right? ''[Glaring crossed-arms at her dad]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it! ''[curtain unfolds as R &amp; B Music begins to play with Squidward standing on the stage]''
:'''Squidward''': Hello, ladies. ''[sings &quot;It's all about you&quot;]''  ''When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-Ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh!''
:'''Friend #2''': Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry!
:'''Judy''': Yeah! ''[Cut to Squidward shaking his rear end]''
:'''Friend #2''': Boo!
:'''Friend #1''': What a rip-off!
:'''Judy''': This stinks!
:'''Pearl''': Daddy, how could you?! I... gave... you... a ''list?!'' ''[runs out crying]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl, come back! ''[crowd throws tomatoes, eggs and Pearl’s meat head at Squidward]''
:'''Pearl''': You've ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me! ''[cries]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Boys Who Cry''': (&quot;It's all about you&quot;) ''It's all about you, girl... on your &lt;big&gt;16&lt;/big&gt;{{small|th}} birthday!&lt;br /&gt;Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.&lt;br /&gt;You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!''

==Episode 12==
===&quot;All That Glitters&quot; (12.1)===
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, we better get back to work.
:'''Spongebob''':''Work?'' How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Use another spatular.
:'''Spongebob''': ''[close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like]'' '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WHAT?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! ''[runs off to the hospital]'' I'm coming, Spat! ''[scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed]'' Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
:''[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]''
:'''Doctor''':  There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. ''[SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around]'' Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.
:'''Spongebob''': Thank you, Doctor.
:'''Doctor''':  Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''':  ''[back in the kitchen]'' One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. ''[tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction]'' Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
:'''Le Spatula''': I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!
:'''Spongebob''': But, but, I thought we were friends?
:'''Le Spatula''':  Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! ''[jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor]'' Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! ''[runs out laughing]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]''
:'''Le Spatula''': How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! ''[spits and runs out]''
:'''Mr Krabs''': What happened?
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties without a spatular?!
:'''SpongeBob''':  I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.
:'''SpongeBob''':  You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.
:'''Mr. Krabs''':Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers! ''[starts to cry]''
:''[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula?? It can't be true! It's too late! ''[cries]''
:'''Doctor''': SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
:'''SpongeBob''': I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! ''[sobs]''
:'''Doctor''': Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'm so sorry. 
:''[SpongeBob cries some more]''
:'''Doctor''': Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. 
:''[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Spatula! 
:''[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! 
:''[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula, what's wrong? 
:''[Spat shakes its head]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!
:''[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]''
:'''SpongeBob #2''': ''[while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor]'' All that glitters is not gold.
:''[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Good-bye, best friend.
:''[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll never find another spatula like him again. 
:''[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula? You're back!
:''[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
:''[Back at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Squidward''': One monster Krabby Patty. 
:''[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. ''[SpongeBob's arms come off]'' D'oh! 
:''[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]''

===[[w:Wishing You Well|&quot;Wishing You Well&quot; (12.2)]]===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[upon learning about wishing wells]'' You mean suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
:'''Harold''': Can we have our quarter back now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': ''[shoves Patrick]'' Stop pushing me Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': You mean like this? ''[shoves Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': No like this! ''[shoves Patrick]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting]'' You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. ''[scene zooms to outside the well]''
:'''Squidward''': Patrick, get off of me! ''[scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward]'' I told you I am claustrophobic!
:'''Patrick''': Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
:'''Squidward''': ''[yelling]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''PATRICK!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

==Episode 13==
===&quot;New Leaf&quot; (13.1)===
:''[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]''
:'''Plankton''': Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. ''[laughs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. ''[laughs then sighs]'' Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Grr...
:'''Plankton''': But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes.
:'''Plankton''': Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. ''[takes out the formula]'' You know you want it.
:'''Plankton''': Thanks… but no.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': A-ha, I knew it. ''[chuckles]'' It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
:'''Plankton''': Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... ''[throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps]'' ...A sham, a snow job... ''[throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them]'' ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of ''Jive''! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
:'''Plankton''': Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop, too slow. ''[chuckles tauntingly]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[very angry, screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. ''[drops the formula]'' Oops.
:'''Plankton''': What's this? ''[groans]'' Hey, Krabs!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew you'd come back.
:'''Plankton''': You forgot something. ''[throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs]'' Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. 
:''[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium leaving Mr. Krabs upset realizing that Plankton was telling the truth]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... ''[cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]''

===&quot;Once Bitten&quot; (13.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I won't let you touch Gary!
:'''Harold''': Stop the madness, man! The mad snail disease ends now... '''SEIZE THE SNAIL!'''

==Episode 14==
===&quot;Bummer Vacation&quot; (14.1)===
:'''Patrick''': ''[puts his finger in his head]'' Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

==Episode 15==
===&quot;Squidtastic Voyage&quot; (15.1)===
:'''Sandy''': ''[Over the speaker]'' Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. ''[The scene returns to her.]'' Now all you have to do is... ''[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]''
:'''Squidward''': Get out of my body! Go!
:'''Patrick''': Grow? ''[He presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob.]''
:'''Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===&quot;That's No Lady&quot; (15.2)===
:'''Business fish''': Hey! ''[Patrick looks around confused]'' Hey, you there!
:'''Patrick''': Who, me?
:'''Business fish''': Yes, you! &lt;big&gt;'''GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by]'' '''Get outta town'''... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. ''[Shows a flier for a vacation]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait, stop! What about all our plans?! 8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick! Who's gonna do all that with me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Business fish''': Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': I'll be right there, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter, Patrick?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' The paid assassin!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': ''[he and SpongeBob walk up to the customer nervously]'' What can I get you, sir?
:'''Business fish''': Say, don't I know you from somewhere?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': No!
:'''Business fish''': Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': He's onto us!
:'''SpongeBob''': I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
:'''Squidward &amp; Mr. Krabs''': '''PATRICK!?!?'''
:'''Business fish''': You forgot your flyer. ''[hands them one of his flyers]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading flyer]'' &quot;Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.&quot; Patrick, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price.
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. ''[rips off his disguise. Everyone gasps while Squidward's eyes shrink in horror]''
:'''Squidward''': Umm, I think I need to take a shower.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman?
:'''Patrick''': No.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list? ''[Patrick and SpongeBob look at list and gasp at what is on it]''
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!

==Episode 16==
===&quot;The Thing&quot; (16.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. ''[muffled whimpering from Smelly]'' Here's your food bowl.
:'''Patrick''': And some kibble. ''[pours in some food]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You can live here forever and ever. ''[Smelly cries]'' Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. ''[retrieves Gary]'' Smelly meet Gary. ''[Gary sticks to Smelly]'' Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. ''[Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly]'' Gary, no! ''[gets Gary off of Smelly]'' Gary. ''[Gary hisses]''
:'''Patrick''': I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
:'''Patrick''': Ah! He can come home with me.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. ''[Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down]'' Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. ''[opens door]'' Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. ''[Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]''
:'''Patrick''': No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

===&quot;Hocus Pocus&quot; (16.2)===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
:'''SpongeBob''': I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
:'''Patrick''': That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
:'''SpongeBob''': This is all my fault!
:'''Patrick''': Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
:'''Patrick''': Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

==Episode 17==
===&quot;Driven to Tears&quot; (17.1)===
:'''Announcer''': Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
:'''Patrick''': Does this mean I win a free keychain? 

The horn still works. 

Patrick! You just ran 3 red lights!

===&quot;Rule of Dumb&quot; (17.2)===
:''[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. 
:''[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]''
:'''Patrick''': King needs food badly.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What's this all ab... ''[gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes]'' Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
:'''SpongeBob''': The king would like...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
:'''Patrick''': I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got a better idea.

==Episode 18==
===&quot;Born to be Wild&quot; (18.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
:'''Old man''': Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

===&quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2)===

==Episode 19==
===&quot;Squid Wood&quot; (19.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? ''[Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him]'' Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
:'''Squidward''': It's called, &quot;I will never play with you... &lt;big&gt;'''EVER!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot; ''[throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]'' 

==Episode 20==
===[[w:Best Day Ever|&quot;Best Day Ever&quot; (20.1)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! ''[his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch]'' This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world, working at the Krusty Krab!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': How long do we have to keep this up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

===&quot;The Gift of Gum&quot; (20.2)===
:'''Robo 2.1''': Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
:''[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]''
:'''Patrick''': Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift. 

{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 4)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149194</id>
      <parentid>3149193</parentid>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] '''4''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned three movies, followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===&quot;Fear of a Krabby Patty&quot; (1.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Day... ''[record scratch]'' anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
:'''Squidward''': ''[Breathing heavily next to a pile of Krabby Patties]'' '''43...!''' ''[Gasps, as the top of his head expands and shrinks.]''

===&quot;Shell of a Man&quot; (1.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Noooooooo! ''[SpongeBob drops his Krabby Patty]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Mr. Krabs. ''[knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens]'' Hello? Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk]'' You alright? Are you sleepy? ''[pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor, revealing an empty shell]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[sniffs his arm]'' I don't smell his pulse. ''[in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob]'' What's that? ''[figure is behind a barrel]'' Is somebody there?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't look at me! Leave me be!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[throws barrel away]'' You're alive! And naked...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[crying]'' It's true. I've molted.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's molted?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow.

==Episode 2==
===&quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1)===
Argh, me back! 
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs? 

ALL MY MONEY WAS IN THAT MATTRESS!!! 

You blockheads woke the worm.

===&quot;Krabs vs. Plankton&quot; (2.2)===

==[[w:Have You Seen This Snail?|&quot;Have You Seen This Snail?&quot; (Episode 3)]]== 
Don’t they know I’m busy spoiling myself?

==Episode 4==
===&quot;Skill Crane&quot; (4.1)===
:'''Skill Crane''': ''[distinct scratchy voice]'' Squid... ward. ''[crane swinging back and forth]'' Squid... ward.

===&quot;Good Neighbors&quot; (4.2)===
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furiously turns red and opens the front door]'' Alright, you two! OUT! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick realizing that they are in trouble walk out]'' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow, or next week!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, does that include...? 
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily screams]'' YES, IT DOES! ''[slams door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
:'''Squidward''': ''[busts head through the door, exploding]'' YES, I WAS!!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! ''[deep breath]'' You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! ''[takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and stomps them into the ground]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
:'''Squidward''': ''[pops his head out of the hole in the middle of the door and explodes again]'' NO, YOU AREN'T!!! You're horrible neighbors! ''[angrily hyperventilates]'' '''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!'''

==Episode 5==
===[[w:Selling Out (SpongeBob SquarePants)|&quot;Selling Out&quot; (5.1)]]===
:'''Carl''': What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
:'''Squidward''': ''[bored]'' &quot;Sincere service with a smile.&quot;
:'''Carl''': Well yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays sprit! Now, Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources. ''[A big buff fish threatens to punch Squidward from behind the HR door]'' Would you? So, what's our motto again?
:'''Squidward''': ''[now nervous]'' Uh...uh. &quot;S-sincere service...&quot; ''[slaps himself and is now trying to look happy]'' &quot;...with a smile!&quot; ''[The HR fish slides back into his room]''
:'''Carl''': Now you're getting it!

===&quot;Funny Pants&quot; (5.2)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
:'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box! ''[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]''
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
:'''Squidward''': ''[taken aback by the revelation]'' Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
:'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?
:'''Squidward''': Yeah. ''[both laugh]'' You really fell for it.
:'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did!
:'''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[stops laughing]'' It's really not that funny, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': It's hilarious!
:'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. ''[goes into his house]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[still laughing]'' Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. ''[his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]'' yahhhh! ''[Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his laughter) and falls flat to the ground, the episode ends while two paramedics come take him to the hospital]''

==[[w:Dunces and Dragons|&quot;Dunces and Dragons&quot; (Episode 6)]]==
:'''SpongeBob''': They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
:'''Patrick''': What's that?
:'''Squidly''': ♪''The evil wizard's dragon is here.'' 
:''See the townsfolk scream with fear.'' 
:''See the townsfolk try to run.''
:''I can tell this won't be fun.'' 
:''The dragon will torch everything.'' 
:''Everything in the valley. Hospitals,'' 
:''schools, retirement homes,''
:''and even ye olde bowling alley.''♪
:'''Citizen''': Not the bowling alley! ''[dragon zaps bowling alley into dust. Citizen bawling]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Patrick? We really are in medieval times!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no, I think I left the water running at home!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Guard''': Right this way.
:'''SpongeBob''': Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, &quot;Righteth this way-eth!&quot;
:'''Guard''': ''[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down]'' Some day, but not today.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[at the guillotine]'' Well, I guess this is it, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, SpongeBob! ''[crying]''
:'''SpongeBob''':  I'll miss you, too, buddy! ''[both sobbing as King Krabs crashes into the guillotine, breaking it. Dragon takes Princess Pearl away]''
:'''Princess Pearl''': Daddy, help!
:'''King Krabs''': Pearl! ''[cries]'' Can no one stop this madness?! ''[sun shines on SpongeBob and Patrick]'' You two, my apologies. ''[kisses their feet]'' Most noble and valiant warriors.
:'''Patrick''': I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob is about to finish off the Dark Knight]''
:'''Dark Knight''': You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't understand a word you just said! ''[laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel, but with the crosses for eyes]'' Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy...? ''[screen turns black then water is thrown onto the Dark Knight]'' Patrick, it's working! Do it again. ''[Patrick gathers spit and spits it upon her]''
:'''Dark Knight''': Thou hath spared me, kind and noble sponge. And to thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Planktonamor and learn a trifle of that karate.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, karate! ''[karate chops Squidly in half]''
:'''Squidly''': Oweth.

==Episode 7==

===&quot;Enemy In-Law&quot; (7.1)===

:'''Plankton''': ''[everyone running around inside]'' Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches, you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. ''[everyone stops in their tracks]''
:'''Nat''': What, you mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
:'''Plankton''': Come on, it's a standard marketing technique. [people leave]
:'''Nat''': You little twerp!
:'''Plankton''': Hey!
:'''Karen''': He's right, ya know.
:'''Plankton''': Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
:'''Karen''': Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
:'''Plankton''': Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
:'''Karen''': Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
:'''Plankton''': Fine, I'm wrong and you're right.
:'''Karen''': You said it, not me. You know, you're lucky to have me.
:'''Plankton''': ''[walking away]'' Why did I ever install that nagging software?
:'''Karen''': &quot;Nagging software&quot;? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman, not a girl in a cold-hearted shell. ''[hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope on her]'' Such beauty. She's an angel, and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart.
:'''Karen''': Plankton, you've fallen in love with another woman!? I'm your wife!
:'''Plankton''': You're a W.I.F.E. ''[pulls out a chart]'' &lt;big&gt;'''W'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|ired}} '''&lt;big&gt;I&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|ntegratred}} &lt;big&gt;'''F'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|emale}} '''&lt;big&gt;E&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|lectroencephalograph}}.
:'''Karen''': Oh, you always pull that one out! &quot;You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!&quot;
:'''Plankton''': ''[sighing]'' Why don't you have an &quot;off&quot; switch? ''[sees it and smiles]''
:'''Karen''': Plankton, don't you dare... ''[turns off]''
:'''Plankton''': And now to woo that beloved creature.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
:'''SpongeBob''': Terribly sorry, sir. ''[pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it]'' Will there be anything else?
:'''Plankton''': Is my tie on straight?
:'''SpongeBob''': You... look FABULOUS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': ''[pulls rose away from his body]'' Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight.
:'''Betsy''': ''[notices Plankton]'' Oh, my. You're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. ''[sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her]'' Tell me about yourself.
:'''Plankton''': Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restaurateur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
:'''Betsy''': Never heard of it.
:'''Plankton''': ''[points to the Chum Bucket]'' It's across the street.
:'''Betsy''': Doesn't ring a bell.
:'''Plankton''' ''[shows her the back of a phone book with a picture of him and the Chum Bucket]'' It's on the back of the phone book! Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad! ''[puts the book away]'' Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
:'''Betsy''': Well...
:'''Eugene''': Plankton!
:'''Plankton''': Krabs!
:'''Betsy''': Eugene!
:'''Eugene''': Mommy?
:'''Plankton''': &quot;Mommy&quot;?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in the air]'' SpongeBob!
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob...!
:'''Plankton''': This delectable creature is your mother?
:'''Eugene''': This no-good conniving chiseler is your date!?
:'''SpongeBob''': And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Eugene''': Mommy? You!
:'''Plankton''': Eugene.
:'''Eugene''': I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
:'''Eugene''': All you like is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
:'''Eugene''': I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
:'''Plankton''': Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
:'''Eugene''': Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! ''[Plankton frowns]'' I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. ''[walks out]''
:'''Plankton''': Not family, eh? I can fix that.

===&quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture&quot; (7.2)===
:'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
:'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! ''[both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car]'' Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
:'''Kelp Thing''': But I must do what I do. ''[jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed]'' Huh? ''[jumps down and then walks away]''
:'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.! 

We can’t make a movie! 
Hey, little hero, this reminds me of episode.

==Episode 8==
===&quot;Patrick SmartPants&quot; (8.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You're back!
:'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back.
:''[They hug each other]''

===&quot;SquidBob TentaclePants&quot; (8.2)===
:'''Sandy''': Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
:'''SpongeBob/Squidward''': Sandy?
:'''Sandy''': One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. 
:''[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet]'' Hmph. ''[plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]''
:'''Mary''': I think I'm going to be sick. 
:''[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]''
:'''Billy''': Ah, I'm out of here!
:'''Squidward''': Huh, no wait. Wait! ''[everyone leaves]'' Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. ''[grabs the Molecular Separator Ray]'' There's got to be some way to reverse this. ''[pushes the button over and over]''
:'''Sandy''': No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, I wouldn't... 
:''[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]''
:'''Therapist''': ''[talking to Squidward]'' So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
:'''Squidward''': It all started... when I was born. 
:''[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]''

==Episode 9==
===&quot;Krusty Towers&quot; (9.1)===
:''[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $15,000!?!
:'''Squidward''': You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
:'''Patrick''': This is a hospital?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
:'''Patrick and SpongeBob''': Hooray!
:'''Squidward''': Oh, boy...

===[[w:Mrs. Puff, You're Fired|&quot;Mrs. Puff, You're Fired&quot; (9.2)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course]'' So, heh... how'd I do?
:'''Roderick''': How'd you do? ''[lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed]'' Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this &quot;''pedestrian''&quot; '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;HOW YOU DID?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' 

Did I pass?

==Episode 10==
===&quot;Chimps Ahoy&quot; (10.1)===
:'''Patrick''': That's &quot;Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick&quot; to you.

===&quot;Ghost Host&quot; (10.2)===
:'''Flying Dutchman''': Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. ''[flies back up to his ship]'' Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. ''[ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

==Episode 11==
===&quot;Whale of a Birthday&quot; (11.1)===
:'''Pearl''': ''[approaches Mr. Krabs]'' Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap! ''[pops the bubble wrap]'' This year's gonna be a blast!
:'''Pearl''':  Daddy! You've ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ''ruin'' this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap!
Mr. Krabs: ''[gulps]'' I promise.
:'''Pearl''':   Good, because I made a list. ''[list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up]'' Now I want everything on this list at my party. ''[kisses her dad and runs out]'' Bye! I'll be at the mall with my friends. 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''':  Wait, don't leave! My dad got Boys Who Cry to play! You did get Boys Who Cry, right? ''[Glaring crossed-arms at her dad]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it! ''[curtain unfolds as R &amp; B Music begins to play with Squidward standing on the stage]''
:'''Squidward''': Hello, ladies. ''[sings &quot;It's all about you&quot;]''  ''When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-Ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh!''
:'''Friend #2''': Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry!
:'''Judy''': Yeah! ''[Cut to Squidward shaking his rear end]''
:'''Friend #2''': Boo!
:'''Friend #1''': What a rip-off!
:'''Judy''': This stinks!
:'''Pearl''': Daddy, how could you?! I... gave... you... a ''list?!'' ''[runs out crying]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl, come back! ''[crowd throws tomatoes, eggs and Pearl’s meat head at Squidward]''
:'''Pearl''': You've ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me! ''[cries]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Boys Who Cry''': (&quot;It's all about you&quot;) ''It's all about you, girl... on your &lt;big&gt;16&lt;/big&gt;{{small|th}} birthday!&lt;br /&gt;Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.&lt;br /&gt;You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!''

==Episode 12==
===&quot;All That Glitters&quot; (12.1)===
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, we better get back to work.
:'''Spongebob''':''Work?'' How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Use another spatular.
:'''Spongebob''': ''[close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like]'' '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WHAT?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! ''[runs off to the hospital]'' I'm coming, Spat! ''[scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed]'' Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
:''[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]''
:'''Doctor''':  There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. ''[SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around]'' Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.
:'''Spongebob''': Thank you, Doctor.
:'''Doctor''':  Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''':  ''[back in the kitchen]'' One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. ''[tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction]'' Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
:'''Le Spatula''': I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!
:'''Spongebob''': But, but, I thought we were friends?
:'''Le Spatula''':  Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! ''[jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor]'' Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! ''[runs out laughing]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]''
:'''Le Spatula''': How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! ''[spits and runs out]''
:'''Mr Krabs''': What happened?
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties without a spatular?!
:'''SpongeBob''':  I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.
:'''SpongeBob''':  You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.
:'''Mr. Krabs''':Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers! ''[starts to cry]''
:''[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula?? It can't be true! It's too late! ''[cries]''
:'''Doctor''': SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
:'''SpongeBob''': I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! ''[sobs]''
:'''Doctor''': Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'm so sorry. 
:''[SpongeBob cries some more]''
:'''Doctor''': Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. 
:''[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Spatula! 
:''[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! 
:''[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula, what's wrong? 
:''[Spat shakes its head]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!
:''[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]''
:'''SpongeBob #2''': ''[while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor]'' All that glitters is not gold.
:''[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Good-bye, best friend.
:''[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll never find another spatula like him again. 
:''[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula? You're back!
:''[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
:''[Back at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Squidward''': One monster Krabby Patty. 
:''[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. ''[SpongeBob's arms come off]'' D'oh! 
:''[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]''

===[[w:Wishing You Well|&quot;Wishing You Well&quot; (12.2)]]===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[upon learning about wishing wells]'' You mean suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
:'''Harold''': Can we have our quarter back now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': ''[shoves Patrick]'' Stop pushing me Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': You mean like this? ''[shoves Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': No like this! ''[shoves Patrick]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting]'' You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. ''[scene zooms to outside the well]''
:'''Squidward''': Patrick, get off of me! ''[scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward]'' I told you I am claustrophobic!
:'''Patrick''': Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
:'''Squidward''': ''[yelling]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''PATRICK!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

==Episode 13==
===&quot;New Leaf&quot; (13.1)===
:''[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]''
:'''Plankton''': Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. ''[laughs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. ''[laughs then sighs]'' Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Grr...
:'''Plankton''': But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes.
:'''Plankton''': Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. ''[takes out the formula]'' You know you want it.
:'''Plankton''': Thanks… but no.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': A-ha, I knew it. ''[chuckles]'' It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
:'''Plankton''': Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... ''[throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps]'' ...A sham, a snow job... ''[throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them]'' ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of ''Jive''! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
:'''Plankton''': Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop, too slow. ''[chuckles tauntingly]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[very angry, screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. ''[drops the formula]'' Oops.
:'''Plankton''': What's this? ''[groans]'' Hey, Krabs!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew you'd come back.
:'''Plankton''': You forgot something. ''[throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs]'' Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. 
:''[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium leaving Mr. Krabs upset realizing that Plankton was telling the truth]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... ''[cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]''

===&quot;Once Bitten&quot; (13.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I won't let you touch Gary!
:'''Harold''': Stop the madness, man! The mad snail disease ends now... '''SEIZE THE SNAIL!'''

==Episode 14==
===&quot;Bummer Vacation&quot; (14.1)===
:'''Patrick''': ''[puts his finger in his head]'' Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

==Episode 15==
===&quot;Squidtastic Voyage&quot; (15.1)===
:'''Sandy''': ''[Over the speaker]'' Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. ''[The scene returns to her.]'' Now all you have to do is... ''[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]''
:'''Squidward''': Get out of my body! Go!
:'''Patrick''': Grow? ''[He presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob.]''
:'''Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===&quot;That's No Lady&quot; (15.2)===
:'''Business fish''': Hey! ''[Patrick looks around confused]'' Hey, you there!
:'''Patrick''': Who, me?
:'''Business fish''': Yes, you! &lt;big&gt;'''GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by]'' '''Get outta town'''... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. ''[Shows a flier for a vacation]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait, stop! What about all our plans?! 8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick! Who's gonna do all that with me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Business fish''': Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': I'll be right there, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter, Patrick?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' The paid assassin!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': ''[he and SpongeBob walk up to the customer nervously]'' What can I get you, sir?
:'''Business fish''': Say, don't I know you from somewhere?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': No!
:'''Business fish''': Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': He's onto us!
:'''SpongeBob''': I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
:'''Squidward &amp; Mr. Krabs''': '''PATRICK!?!?'''
:'''Business fish''': You forgot your flyer. ''[hands them one of his flyers]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading flyer]'' &quot;Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.&quot; Patrick, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price.
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. ''[rips off his disguise. Everyone gasps while Squidward's eyes shrink in horror]''
:'''Squidward''': Umm, I think I need to take a shower.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman?
:'''Patrick''': No.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list? ''[Patrick and SpongeBob look at list and gasp at what is on it]''
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!

==Episode 16==
===&quot;The Thing&quot; (16.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. ''[muffled whimpering from Smelly]'' Here's your food bowl.
:'''Patrick''': And some kibble. ''[pours in some food]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You can live here forever and ever. ''[Smelly cries]'' Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. ''[retrieves Gary]'' Smelly meet Gary. ''[Gary sticks to Smelly]'' Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. ''[Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly]'' Gary, no! ''[gets Gary off of Smelly]'' Gary. ''[Gary hisses]''
:'''Patrick''': I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
:'''Patrick''': Ah! He can come home with me.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. ''[Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down]'' Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. ''[opens door]'' Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. ''[Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]''
:'''Patrick''': No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

===&quot;Hocus Pocus&quot; (16.2)===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
:'''SpongeBob''': I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
:'''Patrick''': That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
:'''SpongeBob''': This is all my fault!
:'''Patrick''': Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
:'''Patrick''': Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

==Episode 17==
===&quot;Driven to Tears&quot; (17.1)===
:'''Announcer''': Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
:'''Patrick''': Does this mean I win a free keychain? 

The horn still works. 

Patrick! You just ran 3 red lights!

===&quot;Rule of Dumb&quot; (17.2)===
:''[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. 
:''[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]''
:'''Patrick''': King needs food badly.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What's this all ab...? ''[gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes]'' Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
:'''SpongeBob''': The king would like...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
:'''Patrick''': I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got a better idea. 
ALL FREE!? 

Patrick, what’s happened to you?

==Episode 18==
===&quot;Born to be Wild&quot; (18.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
:'''Old man''': Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

===&quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2)===

==Episode 19==
===&quot;Squid Wood&quot; (19.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? ''[Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him]'' Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
:'''Squidward''': It's called, &quot;I will never play with you... &lt;big&gt;'''EVER!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot; ''[throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]'' 

==Episode 20==
===[[w:Best Day Ever|&quot;Best Day Ever&quot; (20.1)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! ''[his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch]'' This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world, working at the Krusty Krab!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': How long do we have to keep this up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

===&quot;The Gift of Gum&quot; (20.2)===
:'''Robo 2.1''': Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
:''[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]''
:'''Patrick''': Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift. 

{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 4)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:30:35Z</timestamp>
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        <ip>108.29.85.180</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2) */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35468" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] '''4''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned three movies, followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===&quot;Fear of a Krabby Patty&quot; (1.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Day... ''[record scratch]'' anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
:'''Squidward''': ''[Breathing heavily next to a pile of Krabby Patties]'' '''43...!''' ''[Gasps, as the top of his head expands and shrinks.]''

===&quot;Shell of a Man&quot; (1.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Noooooooo! ''[SpongeBob drops his Krabby Patty]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Mr. Krabs. ''[knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens]'' Hello? Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk]'' You alright? Are you sleepy? ''[pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor, revealing an empty shell]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[sniffs his arm]'' I don't smell his pulse. ''[in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob]'' What's that? ''[figure is behind a barrel]'' Is somebody there?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't look at me! Leave me be!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[throws barrel away]'' You're alive! And naked...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[crying]'' It's true. I've molted.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's molted?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's when a crab gets too fat- um, er, outgrows his shell. It falls off!
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow.

==Episode 2==
===&quot;The Lost Mattress&quot; (2.1)===
Argh, me back! 
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs? 

ALL MY MONEY WAS IN THAT MATTRESS!!! 

You blockheads woke the worm.

===&quot;Krabs vs. Plankton&quot; (2.2)===

==[[w:Have You Seen This Snail?|&quot;Have You Seen This Snail?&quot; (Episode 3)]]== 
Don’t they know I’m busy spoiling myself?

==Episode 4==
===&quot;Skill Crane&quot; (4.1)===
:'''Skill Crane''': ''[distinct scratchy voice]'' Squid... ward. ''[crane swinging back and forth]'' Squid... ward.

===&quot;Good Neighbors&quot; (4.2)===
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furiously turns red and opens the front door]'' Alright, you two! OUT! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick realizing that they are in trouble walk out]'' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow, or next week!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, does that include...? 
:'''Squidward''': ''[angrily screams]'' YES, IT DOES! ''[slams door]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
:'''Squidward''': ''[busts head through the door, exploding]'' YES, I WAS!!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! ''[deep breath]'' You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! ''[takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and stomps them into the ground]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
:'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
:'''Squidward''': ''[pops his head out of the hole in the middle of the door and explodes again]'' NO, YOU AREN'T!!! You're horrible neighbors! ''[angrily hyperventilates]'' '''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!'''

==Episode 5==
===[[w:Selling Out (SpongeBob SquarePants)|&quot;Selling Out&quot; (5.1)]]===
:'''Carl''': What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
:'''Squidward''': ''[bored]'' &quot;Sincere service with a smile.&quot;
:'''Carl''': Well yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays sprit! Now, Squidward, you wouldn't wanna have to talk to human resources. ''[A big buff fish threatens to punch Squidward from behind the HR door]'' Would you? So, what's our motto again?
:'''Squidward''': ''[now nervous]'' Uh...uh. &quot;S-sincere service...&quot; ''[slaps himself and is now trying to look happy]'' &quot;...with a smile!&quot; ''[The HR fish slides back into his room]''
:'''Carl''': Now you're getting it!

===&quot;Funny Pants&quot; (5.2)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Another day, another nickel.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Hi, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
:'''SpongeBob''': But Squidward, I...I broke my laugh box! ''[sprays a fountain of tears into Squidward's face. Squidward puts his tentacles over SpongeBob's eyes, stopping the tears]''
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box! I made the whole thing up to get some peace from your insipid laughter!
:'''SpongeBob''': You mean...my laugh box isn't broken? And it was a cruel lie that sent me into spiraling depression?
:'''Squidward''': ''[taken aback by the revelation]'' Uhh, well it sounds pretty harsh when you put it that way, but yes.
:'''SpongeBob''': I could laugh the whole time?
:'''Squidward''': Yeah. ''[both laugh]'' You really fell for it.
:'''SpongeBob''': I guess I did!
:'''Squidward''': You even fell for the ol' thermometer in the boiling oil routine. ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[stops laughing]'' It's really not that funny, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': It's hilarious!
:'''SpongeBob''': See ya later, Squidward. ''[goes into his house]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[still laughing]'' Break your laugh box! What a schlemiel. ''[his laughter turns to coughing as his sides started aching]'' yahhhh! ''[Squidward inhales deeply and lets out a long cough, (thus losing his laughter) and falls flat to the ground, the episode ends while two paramedics come take him to the hospital]''

==[[w:Dunces and Dragons|&quot;Dunces and Dragons&quot; (Episode 6)]]==
:'''SpongeBob''': They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
:'''Patrick''': What's that?
:'''Squidly''': ♪''The evil wizard's dragon is here.'' 
:''See the townsfolk scream with fear.'' 
:''See the townsfolk try to run.''
:''I can tell this won't be fun.'' 
:''The dragon will torch everything.'' 
:''Everything in the valley. Hospitals,'' 
:''schools, retirement homes,''
:''and even ye olde bowling alley.''♪
:'''Citizen''': Not the bowling alley! ''[dragon zaps bowling alley into dust. Citizen bawling]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Patrick? We really are in medieval times!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no, I think I left the water running at home!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Guard''': Right this way.
:'''SpongeBob''': Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, &quot;Righteth this way-eth!&quot;
:'''Guard''': ''[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down]'' Some day, but not today.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[at the guillotine]'' Well, I guess this is it, Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, SpongeBob! ''[crying]''
:'''SpongeBob''':  I'll miss you, too, buddy! ''[both sobbing as King Krabs crashes into the guillotine, breaking it. Dragon takes Princess Pearl away]''
:'''Princess Pearl''': Daddy, help!
:'''King Krabs''': Pearl! ''[cries]'' Can no one stop this madness?! ''[sun shines on SpongeBob and Patrick]'' You two, my apologies. ''[kisses their feet]'' Most noble and valiant warriors.
:'''Patrick''': I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob is about to finish off the Dark Knight]''
:'''Dark Knight''': You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
:'''SpongeBob''': I don't understand a word you just said! ''[laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel, but with the crosses for eyes]'' Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy...? ''[screen turns black then water is thrown onto the Dark Knight]'' Patrick, it's working! Do it again. ''[Patrick gathers spit and spits it upon her]''
:'''Dark Knight''': Thou hath spared me, kind and noble sponge. And to thee, I owe a debt of gratitude, for I will follow you on your quest to defeat Planktonamor and learn a trifle of that karate.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, karate! ''[karate chops Squidly in half]''
:'''Squidly''': Oweth.

==Episode 7==

===&quot;Enemy In-Law&quot; (7.1)===

:'''Plankton''': ''[everyone running around inside]'' Oh, good, the lunch rush. Now that my ChumBot has dropped you into my clutches, you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket. ''[everyone stops in their tracks]''
:'''Nat''': What, you mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
:'''Plankton''': Come on, it's a standard marketing technique. [people leave]
:'''Nat''': You little twerp!
:'''Plankton''': Hey!
:'''Karen''': He's right, ya know.
:'''Plankton''': Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
:'''Karen''': Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
:'''Plankton''': Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
:'''Karen''': Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
:'''Plankton''': Fine, I'm wrong and you're right.
:'''Karen''': You said it, not me. You know, you're lucky to have me.
:'''Plankton''': ''[walking away]'' Why did I ever install that nagging software?
:'''Karen''': &quot;Nagging software&quot;? I heard that! Come back and dust my screen!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Why did I ever buy that computer wife? I need a real woman, not a girl in a cold-hearted shell. ''[hears Mama Krabs humming outside so he brings down his periscope on her]'' Such beauty. She's an angel, and no wires. I've never felt like this before. I don't even know her name and yet she's stolen my heart.
:'''Karen''': Plankton, you've fallen in love with another woman!? I'm your wife!
:'''Plankton''': You're a W.I.F.E. ''[pulls out a chart]'' &lt;big&gt;'''W'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|ired}} '''&lt;big&gt;I&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|ntegratred}} &lt;big&gt;'''F'''&lt;/big&gt;{{small|emale}} '''&lt;big&gt;E&lt;/big&gt;'''{{small|lectroencephalograph}}.
:'''Karen''': Oh, you always pull that one out! &quot;You're not a real wife, you're just a computer!&quot;
:'''Plankton''': ''[sighing]'' Why don't you have an &quot;off&quot; switch? ''[sees it and smiles]''
:'''Karen''': Plankton, don't you dare... ''[turns off]''
:'''Plankton''': And now to woo that beloved creature.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
:'''SpongeBob''': Terribly sorry, sir. ''[pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it]'' Will there be anything else?
:'''Plankton''': Is my tie on straight?
:'''SpongeBob''': You... look FABULOUS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Plankton''': ''[pulls rose away from his body]'' Hello, my dear. I must say you look ravishing tonight.
:'''Betsy''': ''[notices Plankton]'' Oh, my. You're a tiny thing, but awfully cute. ''[sits down in a chair that SpongeBob has brought to her]'' Tell me about yourself.
:'''Plankton''': Well, I'm in the food service business. I'm a bit of a restaurateur. I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
:'''Betsy''': Never heard of it.
:'''Plankton''': ''[points to the Chum Bucket]'' It's across the street.
:'''Betsy''': Doesn't ring a bell.
:'''Plankton''' ''[shows her the back of a phone book with a picture of him and the Chum Bucket]'' It's on the back of the phone book! Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad! ''[puts the book away]'' Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
:'''Betsy''': Well...
:'''Eugene''': Plankton!
:'''Plankton''': Krabs!
:'''Betsy''': Eugene!
:'''Eugene''': Mommy?
:'''Plankton''': &quot;Mommy&quot;?
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[jumps in the air]'' SpongeBob!
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob...!
:'''Plankton''': This delectable creature is your mother?
:'''Eugene''': This no-good conniving chiseler is your date!?
:'''SpongeBob''': And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
:'''Eugene''': SpongeBob!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Eugene''': Mommy? You!
:'''Plankton''': Eugene.
:'''Eugene''': I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways. And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
:'''Eugene''': All you like is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
:'''Eugene''': I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
:'''Plankton''': Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
:'''Eugene''': Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! ''[Plankton frowns]'' I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. ''[walks out]''
:'''Plankton''': Not family, eh? I can fix that.

===&quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture&quot; (7.2)===
:'''Narrator''': It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
:'''Mermaid Man''': Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! ''[both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car]'' Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
:'''Kelp Thing''': But I must do what I do. ''[jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed]'' Huh? ''[jumps down and then walks away]''
:'''Mermaid Man''': Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.! 

We can’t make a movie! 
Hey, little hero, this reminds me of episode.

==Episode 8==
===&quot;Patrick SmartPants&quot; (8.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick! You're back!
:'''Patrick''': Patrick, you're back.
:''[They hug each other]''

===&quot;SquidBob TentaclePants&quot; (8.2)===
:'''Sandy''': Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
:'''SpongeBob/Squidward''': Sandy?
:'''Sandy''': One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good. 
:''[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]''
:'''Squidward''': ''[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet]'' Hmph. ''[plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]''
:'''Mary''': I think I'm going to be sick. 
:''[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]''
:'''Billy''': Ah, I'm out of here!
:'''Squidward''': Huh, no wait. Wait! ''[everyone leaves]'' Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. ''[grabs the Molecular Separator Ray]'' There's got to be some way to reverse this. ''[pushes the button over and over]''
:'''Sandy''': No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
:'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, I wouldn't... 
:''[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]''
:'''Therapist''': ''[talking to Squidward]'' So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
:'''Squidward''': It all started... when I was born. 
:''[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]''

==Episode 9==
===&quot;Krusty Towers&quot; (9.1)===
:''[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': $15,000!?!
:'''Squidward''': You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
:'''Patrick''': This is a hospital?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
:'''Patrick and SpongeBob''': Hooray!
:'''Squidward''': Oh, boy...

===[[w:Mrs. Puff, You're Fired|&quot;Mrs. Puff, You're Fired&quot; (9.2)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course]'' So, heh... how'd I do?
:'''Roderick''': How'd you do? ''[lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed]'' Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this &quot;''pedestrian''&quot; '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;HOW YOU DID?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' 

Did I pass?

==Episode 10==
===&quot;Chimps Ahoy&quot; (10.1)===
:'''Patrick''': That's &quot;Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick&quot; to you.

===&quot;Ghost Host&quot; (10.2)===
:'''Flying Dutchman''': Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. ''[flies back up to his ship]'' Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. ''[ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

==Episode 11==
===&quot;Whale of a Birthday&quot; (11.1)===
:'''Pearl''': ''[approaches Mr. Krabs]'' Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors, bubble wrap! ''[pops the bubble wrap]'' This year's gonna be a blast!
:'''Pearl''':  Daddy! You've ruined all my birthday parties, but you better not ''ruin'' this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap!
Mr. Krabs: ''[gulps]'' I promise.
:'''Pearl''':   Good, because I made a list. ''[list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up]'' Now I want everything on this list at my party. ''[kisses her dad and runs out]'' Bye! I'll be at the mall with my friends. 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''':  Wait, don't leave! My dad got Boys Who Cry to play! You did get Boys Who Cry, right? ''[Glaring crossed-arms at her dad]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, even better, sweetie. Hit it! ''[curtain unfolds as R &amp; B Music begins to play with Squidward standing on the stage]''
:'''Squidward''': Hello, ladies. ''[sings &quot;It's all about you&quot;]''  ''When my tear ducts get issue, I can't use just any tissue... I need 4-Ply, 4-Ply, 4-Ply, when I cry... Huh!''
:'''Friend #2''': Hey, that is not Boys Who Cry!
:'''Judy''': Yeah! ''[Cut to Squidward shaking his rear end]''
:'''Friend #2''': Boo!
:'''Friend #1''': What a rip-off!
:'''Judy''': This stinks!
:'''Pearl''': Daddy, how could you?! I... gave... you... a ''list?!'' ''[runs out crying]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Pearl, come back! ''[crowd throws tomatoes, eggs and Pearl’s meat head at Squidward]''
:'''Pearl''': You've ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me! ''[cries]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Boys Who Cry''': (&quot;It's all about you&quot;) ''It's all about you, girl... on your &lt;big&gt;16&lt;/big&gt;{{small|th}} birthday!&lt;br /&gt;Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.&lt;br /&gt;You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!''

==Episode 12==
===&quot;All That Glitters&quot; (12.1)===
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, we better get back to work.
:'''Spongebob''':''Work?'' How can I go back to work without... without Spat?!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Use another spatular.
:'''Spongebob''': ''[close-up of his face, his eyes are hypno-like]'' '''''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;WHAT?!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''''' There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat. Spat, wait up! Spat! ''[runs off to the hospital]'' I'm coming, Spat! ''[scene cuts to the hospital where SpongeBob is by a spatula's bed]'' Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
:''[SpongeBob flashes back to all the good times he had with his spatula: flipping patties, laying in the sun with spatula, scratching his back with spatula, playing ping pong with his spatula, reaching under the chair for the remote with spatula, and playing pirates with spatula.]''
:'''Doctor''':  There’s no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula. ''[SpongeBob turns around and starts to cry, then turns back around]'' Go home. Get some rest. We'll try to do everything we can.
:'''Spongebob''': Thank you, Doctor.
:'''Doctor''':  Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''':  ''[back in the kitchen]'' One Krabby Patty, coming up lickety split. ''[tries to use Le Spatula, but every time he tries to flip the patty, the spatula goes another direction]'' Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
:'''Le Spatula''': I would not dare touch such slop as this, how you say, Krabby Patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!
:'''Spongebob''': But, but, I thought we were friends?
:'''Le Spatula''':  Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! ''[jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor]'' Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook! ''[runs out laughing]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula, wait! I gave up everything for you! We had something! [Le Spatula punches SpongeBob in the face]''
:'''Le Spatula''': How's that for something? Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon! ''[spits and runs out]''
:'''Mr Krabs''': What happened?
:'''SpongeBob''': Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs!
:'''Mr Krabs''': Well, how are you gonna make Krabby Patties without a spatular?!
:'''SpongeBob''':  I had a spatula once. A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I always did like your old spatular. It got the job done every time.
:'''SpongeBob''':  You're right, Mr. Krabs. The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula.
:'''Mr. Krabs''':Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers! ''[starts to cry]''
:''[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula?? It can't be true! It's too late! ''[cries]''
:'''Doctor''': SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
:'''SpongeBob''': I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! ''[sobs]''
:'''Doctor''': Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'm so sorry. 
:''[SpongeBob cries some more]''
:'''Doctor''': Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary. 
:''[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Spatula! 
:''[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! 
:''[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula, what's wrong? 
:''[Spat shakes its head]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby Patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry! Oh, what have I done?! What have I done?!
:''[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]''
:'''SpongeBob #2''': ''[while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor]'' All that glitters is not gold.
:''[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Good-bye, best friend.
:''[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]''
:'''SpongeBob''': I'll never find another spatula like him again. 
:''[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Spatula? You're back!
:''[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
:''[Back at the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Squidward''': One monster Krabby Patty. 
:''[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. ''[SpongeBob's arms come off]'' D'oh! 
:''[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]''

===[[w:Wishing You Well|&quot;Wishing You Well&quot; (12.2)]]===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[upon learning about wishing wells]'' You mean suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
:'''Harold''': Can we have our quarter back now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': ''[shoves Patrick]'' Stop pushing me Patrick.
:'''Patrick''': You mean like this? ''[shoves Squidward]''
:'''Squidward''': No like this! ''[shoves Patrick]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting]'' You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place. ''[scene zooms to outside the well]''
:'''Squidward''': Patrick, get off of me! ''[scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward]'' I told you I am claustrophobic!
:'''Patrick''': Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
:'''Squidward''': ''[yelling]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''PATRICK!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

==Episode 13==
===&quot;New Leaf&quot; (13.1)===
:''[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]''
:'''Plankton''': Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. ''[laughs]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. ''[laughs then sighs]'' Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Grr...
:'''Plankton''': But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes.
:'''Plankton''': Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. ''[takes out the formula]'' You know you want it.
:'''Plankton''': Thanks… but no.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': A-ha, I knew it. ''[chuckles]'' It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
:'''Plankton''': Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... ''[throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps]'' ...A sham, a snow job... ''[throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them]'' ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of ''Jive''! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
:'''Plankton''': Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop, too slow. ''[chuckles tauntingly]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[very angry, screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. ''[drops the formula]'' Oops.
:'''Plankton''': What's this? ''[groans]'' Hey, Krabs!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I knew you'd come back.
:'''Plankton''': You forgot something. ''[throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs]'' Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. 
:''[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium leaving Mr. Krabs upset realizing that Plankton was telling the truth]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... ''[cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]''

===&quot;Once Bitten&quot; (13.2)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': It's... for his own good, SpongeBob.
:'''SpongeBob''': No! I won't let you touch Gary!
:'''Harold''': Stop the madness, man! The mad snail disease ends now... '''SEIZE THE SNAIL!'''

==Episode 14==
===&quot;Bummer Vacation&quot; (14.1)===
:'''Patrick''': ''[puts his finger in his head]'' Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

==Episode 15==
===&quot;Squidtastic Voyage&quot; (15.1)===
:'''Sandy''': ''[Over the speaker]'' Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. ''[The scene returns to her.]'' Now all you have to do is... ''[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]''
:'''Squidward''': Get out of my body! Go!
:'''Patrick''': Grow? ''[He presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob.]''
:'''Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===&quot;That's No Lady&quot; (15.2)===
:'''Business fish''': Hey! ''[Patrick looks around confused]'' Hey, you there!
:'''Patrick''': Who, me?
:'''Business fish''': Yes, you! &lt;big&gt;'''GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by]'' '''Get outta town'''... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. ''[Shows a flier for a vacation]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''SpongeBob''': Wait, stop! What about all our plans?! 8:00am - Wake up Patrick, 9:00am - Eat kelpo with Patrick, 10:00am - Brush teeth with Patrick, 1:00pm - Stare at Patrick! Who's gonna do all that with me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Business fish''': Ahoy, waitress, aren't you gonna take my order?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': I'll be right there, sir.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter, Patrick?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': That's the guy with the briefcase. The guy who's trying to run me out of town.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' The paid assassin!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': ''[he and SpongeBob walk up to the customer nervously]'' What can I get you, sir?
:'''Business fish''': Say, don't I know you from somewhere?
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': No!
:'''Business fish''': Hmmm... that's it! Get outta town!
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': He's onto us!
:'''SpongeBob''': I won't let you do it. You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
:'''Squidward &amp; Mr. Krabs''': '''PATRICK!?!?'''
:'''Business fish''': You forgot your flyer. ''[hands them one of his flyers]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[reading flyer]'' &quot;Get outta town! And take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort.&quot; Patrick, this guy wasn't trying to run you out of town, he just wanted to sell you a luxury vacation at a modest price.
:'''Patrick (as Patricia)''': Well, I guess I don't need this disguise anymore. ''[rips off his disguise. Everyone gasps while Squidward's eyes shrink in horror]''
:'''Squidward''': Umm, I think I need to take a shower.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let me get this straight, uh, you're not a woman?
:'''Patrick''': No.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Well then, you're fired. Uhh, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office for, I dunno, the next 20 years or so.
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, buddy, what do you say we go home and get started on this list? ''[Patrick and SpongeBob look at list and gasp at what is on it]''
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!

==Episode 16==
===&quot;The Thing&quot; (16.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. ''[muffled whimpering from Smelly]'' Here's your food bowl.
:'''Patrick''': And some kibble. ''[pours in some food]''
:'''SpongeBob''': You can live here forever and ever. ''[Smelly cries]'' Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. ''[retrieves Gary]'' Smelly meet Gary. ''[Gary sticks to Smelly]'' Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. ''[Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly]'' Gary, no! ''[gets Gary off of Smelly]'' Gary. ''[Gary hisses]''
:'''Patrick''': I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
:'''Patrick''': Ah! He can come home with me.
:'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. ''[Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down]'' Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. ''[opens door]'' Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. ''[Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]''
:'''Patrick''': No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

===&quot;Hocus Pocus&quot; (16.2)===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
:'''SpongeBob''': I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
:'''Patrick''': That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
:'''SpongeBob''': This is all my fault!
:'''Patrick''': Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
:'''Patrick''': Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
:'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

==Episode 17==
===&quot;Driven to Tears&quot; (17.1)===
:'''Announcer''': Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
:'''Patrick''': Does this mean I win a free keychain? 

The horn still works. 

Patrick! You just ran 3 red lights!

===&quot;Rule of Dumb&quot; (17.2)===
:''[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]'' 
:'''SpongeBob''': Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. 
:''[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]''
:'''Patrick''': King needs food badly.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': What's this all ab...? ''[gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes]'' Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
:'''SpongeBob''': The king would like...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
:'''Patrick''': I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I've got a better idea. 
ALL FREE!? 

Patrick, what’s happened to you?

==Episode 18==
===&quot;Born to be Wild&quot; (18.1)===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
:'''Old man''': Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

===&quot;Best Frenemies&quot; (18.2)=== 
Hi, there. Uh, could get one kelpshake? 
Sure, that’ll be $1.

==Episode 19==
===&quot;Squid Wood&quot; (19.1)===
:'''SpongeBob''': How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? ''[Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him]'' Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
:'''Squidward''': It's called, &quot;I will never play with you... &lt;big&gt;'''EVER!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot; ''[throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]'' 

==Episode 20==
===[[w:Best Day Ever|&quot;Best Day Ever&quot; (20.1)]]===
:'''SpongeBob''': NO, IT'S NOT OKAY! ''[his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch]'' This was gonna be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world, working at the Krusty Krab!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': How long do we have to keep this up?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

===&quot;The Gift of Gum&quot; (20.2)===
:'''Robo 2.1''': Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
:''[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]''
:'''Patrick''': Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift. 

{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 4)}}

[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Minions (film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>177502</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149102</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T19:37:28Z</timestamp>
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'''''[[w:Minions (film)|Minions]]''''' is a 2015 American 3D computer-animated comedy film and a spin-off prequel to the [[w:Despicable Me (franchise)|''Despicable Me'' franchise]]. Produced by [[w:Illumination (company)|Illumination Entertainment]] for [[w:Universal Studios|Universal Pictures]], the film was written by [[w:Brian Lynch (writer)|Brian Lynch]], directed by [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]] and [[w:Kyle Balda|Kyle Balda]] and produced by [[w:Chris Meledandri|Chris Meledandri]] and [[w:Janet Healy|Janet Healy]]. The film was first foreshadowed in the ending credits of ''[[Despicable Me 2]]'', where Stuart, Kevin and Bob, three of the Minions, are seen auditioning for the film.

''Minions'' premiered on June 11, 2015, in [[London]] and was released in the United States on July 10, 2015 to mixed reviews and has grossed over $433,000,000.

{{center|'''''Go back to where it all began.''''' {{small|([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}}}

==Scarlet Overkill==
* Doesn't it feel so good to be bad?
* ''[after seeing Herb's card, reading &quot;I missed you! H.&quot;]'' Herb, seriously, I want to dig up that William Shakespeare so he can see what true writing is. I love it!

==Herb Overkill==
* This is torture! ''[the Minions play with a hangman's noose]'' Guys, cut it out! This is really unprofessional!

==Others==
* '''Minion''': ''[as a primitive caveman is about to hit a bear with a club]'' No, no, no! Piñata! ''[the Minions cheers as the primitive hits the bear with a fly swatter, then the bear eats him alive as the Minions screamed in terror]''
* '''Tina''': By the time she was 13, she built a criminal empire!
* '''Frankie Fishlips''': ''[as Scarlet declares that all the villains have one thing in common]'' WE WERE BORN WITH FLIPPERS! … No? Just me? Okay.

==Dialogue==
:'''Scarlet''': Do you know who this is? ''[points at a British Royal portrait]''
:'''Kevin''': ''Uh... la cucaracha?''
:'''Scarlet''': This is Queen Elizabeth, ruler of England. I love England. Their music, the fashion. I'm seriously thinking about overthrowing it someday. Anyway. This pale drink of water oversees it all. I'm her biggest fan, loved her work. And I really, really, really want her crown!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Scarlet''': Steal me the crown, and all your dreams come true. RESPECT POWER!
:'''Stuart''': BANANA!
:'''Scarlet''': BANANA!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Herb''': Woah! These guys are pumped!
:'''Scarlet''': Maybe I'll settle them down with a bedtime story. How does that sound, Bob? Bob?, Bob? ''[screaming louder]'' BOB?
:'''Bob''': ''Bedtime story?''
:'''Herb''': That is a groovy idea! I'll get some cookies and warm milk. This is gonna be so fun!
:''[Bob asks Scarlet if she has a good bedtime story]''
:'''Scarlet''': Oh, yes. I've got a really really really good ''bedtime story. [beginning to count the history]'' Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. One fateful day, the pigs encountered a big, bad wolf who had a wonderful surprise for them. The wolf offered the 3 piggies and all their friends a job working for her. Everyone would be so happy. All the 3 little piggies had to do was just steal one little crown that the beautiful wolf had wanted ever since she was a penniless little street cub, unloved and abandoned… but that crown would mean she was a princess, and everybody loves the princess, so the wolf sent the piggies to get that crown... but the little piggies weren't up to the challenge. They ''failed'' their mission, so the wolf huffed and puffed, and she blew them off the face of the earth! The end. ''[Kevin and Stuart are scared]'' Good luck getting that crown tomorrow, little piggies. I know you wouldn't disappoint me. ''[the light turns off while they look Bob sleeping]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Keeper of the Crown (who's blinded)''': So… you came for the queen's crown, did ya? Well, you're gonna have to get through me! The keeper of her crown!
:''[Kevin, Stuart and Bob laugh because the tower guard is in the wrong direction]''
:'''Kevin''': ''[speaks Minionese mockingly while the keeper gets hit in the head with a cane] Augh, hey!''
:'''Keeper of the Crown''': You think it's funny to mock the elderly, do ya?
:'''Kevin''': ''Uh... si? [the tower guard hits Kevin in the head] Augh!''
:'''Keeper of the Crown''': I've been up here for decades… ''[hits Kevin right between his legs with his cane while he screams]'' ...Just waiting for someone to try and steal the Queen's treasure! ''[wacks Kevin to the wall with his cane]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Queen Elizabeth II''': ''[beats up Stuart]'' Gentleman... do... not... steal... ladies'... crowns...!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Bob''': King Bob!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[in a spa, with two fire hydrants]''
:'''Stuart''': Ah, Claire. Ooh, Tiffany. Mi bellas! Rawr. ''[kisses them]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Tina''': ''[playing the guitar; sings &quot;Minions Lullaby&quot;]''
:'''Walter''': What do you a favorite song?
:'''Tina''': Yes.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Scarlet''': ''[angry]'' How dare you? ''[gets hit by a ball]'' Aaaaaahhhhh! ''[pounced on by a corgi, who licks her, but Scarlet throws the corgi back onto the floor, scaring the painter, corgi whimpers.]''
:'''Kevin''': ''[relieved] Scarlet!''
:'''Scarlet''': ''[gets mad at the minions]'' Don't you &quot;Scarlet&quot; me, you backstabbing little traitors! Using Herb's invention to steal my crown?!
:'''Herb''': I feel used. Not gonna lie.
:'''Scarlet''': You stole my dream. ''I'' was going to conquer England someday. There was going to be a coronation, and I was going to be made queen. ''Every'' moment was planned. I’d wear a dress so sparkly it glowed, and everyone who ''ever'' doubted me would be watching and they would be crying. I was going to be the picture of ''elegance'' and ''class'', and you ''pinheads'' screwed it up!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Herb''': Scarlet, you're okay!
:'''Scarlet''': ''[enraged]'' HE TRIED TO KILL ME!
:'''Kevin''': Uh, no, no... ''[speaks Minionese]''
:'''Scarlet''': Villains, this is no longer a coronation! It is an execution!! GET THEM!!! ''[The villains charge to seize the Minions; they scream and run away]''

==Taglines==
* Uh, oh.
* Meet Stuart, Kevin &amp; Bob
* Go back to where it all began.
* Before Gru, they had a history of bad bosses
* It's going to be a blast.

==Voice Cast==
* [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]] — The Minions
* Narrated by [[Geoffrey Rush]]
* [[Sandra Bullock]] — Scarlet Overkill
* [[w:Jon Hamm|Jon Hamm]] — Herb Overkill
* [[Michael Keaton]] — Walter Nelson
* [[w:Allison Janney|Allison Janney]] — Madge Nelson
* [[Steve Coogan]] — Professor Flux, Tower Guard
* [[w:Jennifer Saunders|Jennifer Saunders]] — The Queen
* [[w:Steve Carell|Steve Carell]] — Young Felonious Gru

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikipedia-inline|Minions (film)|''Minions'' (film)}}
*{{IMDb title|2293640|Minions}}

{{Despicable Me}}

[[Category:2015 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Prequel films]]
[[Category:Film spin-offs]]
[[Category:Animated films about dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films set in prehistory]]
[[Category:Films set in New York City]]
[[Category:Films set in London]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Iran-Iraq War</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>177959</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149264</id>
      <parentid>2822330</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T05:56:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Nebulousquasar</username>
        <id>3102829</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Lamia Abbas Amara</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1306" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Iran-Iraq War|Iran-Iraq War]]''' (formerly known as the '''Gulf War''') was an armed conflict between the [[Islamic Republic of Iran]] and the [[w:Ba'athist Iraq|Ba'athist Iraq]] lasting from September 1980 to August 1988, making it the 20th century's longest [[w:Conventional warfare|conventional war]].

==Quotes==
* A curious military force of professional soldiers, mullahs, neighborhood militiamen and schoolboys as young as 13, linked by an intense Islamic fervor, broke the long deadlock in the Persian Gulf war by routing entrenched Iraqi troops.
** [[w:John Kifner|John Kifner]], April 7, 1982, http://www.nytimes.com/1982/04/07/world/in-iran-s-war-youth-and-islam.html
* Why should we hate the people we once loved because of a war that mars even our memories?
** ''Frouzanda Mahrad'', an Arabic poem by [[Lamia Abbas Amara]] (translated by Mike Maggio in: Buckley, Jorunn Jacobsen (2002). ''The Mandaeans: ancient texts and modern people''. New York: Oxford University Press.). This poetic line alludes to how the Mandaeans, an ethnoreligious group, were divided by the Iran-Iraq War.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category|Iran-Iraq War}}
{{wikisourcecat|Iran–Iraq War}}

[[Category:Cold War]]
[[Category:Foreign relations of Iran]]
[[Category:Foreign relations of Iraq]]</text>
      <sha1>94grrix60qmfdbmdd5wnbyyet7lsjrp</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149265</id>
      <parentid>3149264</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T05:56:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Nebulousquasar</username>
        <id>3102829</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>nothing in Wikisource</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1272" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Iran-Iraq War|Iran-Iraq War]]''' (formerly known as the '''Gulf War''') was an armed conflict between the [[Islamic Republic of Iran]] and the [[w:Ba'athist Iraq|Ba'athist Iraq]] lasting from September 1980 to August 1988, making it the 20th century's longest [[w:Conventional warfare|conventional war]].

==Quotes==
* A curious military force of professional soldiers, mullahs, neighborhood militiamen and schoolboys as young as 13, linked by an intense Islamic fervor, broke the long deadlock in the Persian Gulf war by routing entrenched Iraqi troops.
** [[w:John Kifner|John Kifner]], April 7, 1982, http://www.nytimes.com/1982/04/07/world/in-iran-s-war-youth-and-islam.html
* Why should we hate the people we once loved because of a war that mars even our memories?
** ''Frouzanda Mahrad'', an Arabic poem by [[Lamia Abbas Amara]] (translated by Mike Maggio in: Buckley, Jorunn Jacobsen (2002). ''The Mandaeans: ancient texts and modern people''. New York: Oxford University Press.). This poetic line alludes to how the Mandaeans, an ethnoreligious group, were divided by the Iran-Iraq War.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category|Iran-Iraq War}}

[[Category:Cold War]]
[[Category:Foreign relations of Iran]]
[[Category:Foreign relations of Iraq]]</text>
      <sha1>gyuq44pbvdm4ruo04ekt9tbaiytpwt8</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>List of films (J–L)</title>
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        <id>4304</id>
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      <comment>/* Existing */</comment>
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      <text bytes="17625" xml:space="preserve">__NOTOC__

This is a '''list of films:'''
----
[[List of films (A–C)##|#]] - [[List of films (A–C)#A|A]] -
[[List of films (A–C)#B|B]] - [[List of films (A–C)#C|C]] -
[[List of films (D–F)#D|D]] - [[List of films (D–F)#E|E]] -
[[List of films (D–F)#F|F]] - [[List of films (G–I)#G|G]] -
[[List of films (G–I)#H|H]] - [[List of films (G–I)#I|I]] -
[[List of films (J–L)#J|J]] - [[List of films (J-L)#K|K]] -
[[List of films (J-L)#L|L]] - [[List of films (M-O)#M|M]] -
[[List of films (M-O)#N|N]] - [[List of films (M-O)#O|O]] -
[[List of films (P–S)#P|P]] - [[List of films (P–S)#Q|Q]] -
[[List of films (P–S)#R|R]] - [[List of films (P–S)#S|S]] -
[[List of films (T–V)#T|T]] - [[List of films (T–V)#U|U]] -
[[List of films (T–V)#V|V]] - [[List of films (W–Z)#W|W]] -
[[List of films (W–Z)#X|X]] - [[List of films (W–Z)#Y|Y]] -
[[List of films (W–Z)#Z|Z]]

==Existing==
===J===
{{Col-begin}}
{{Col-3}}
*''[[Jack (1996 film)|Jack]]'' (1996)
*''[[Jack-Jack Attack]]''
*''[[The Jacket|Jacket, The]]''
*''[[Jack and Jill (2011 film)|Jack and Jill]]'' (2011)
*''[[Jackie Brown]]''
* ''[[Jack the Giant Slayer]]''
*''[[Jacob's Ladder (film)|Jacob's Ladder]]''
*''[[Jagged Edge]]''
*''[[Jailhouse Rock (film)|Jailhouse Rock]]''
*''[[James and the Giant Peach]]''
*''[[James Bond series]]''
*''[[James Dean (film)|James Dean]]'' (2001)
*''[[Jarhead]]''
*''[[Jaws (film)|Jaws]]''
*''[[Jaws 2]]''
*''[[Jaws 3-D]]''
*''[[Jaws: The Revenge]]''
*''[[The Jazz Singer]]''
*''[[Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back]]''
*''[[Jeepers Creepers (film)|Jeepers Creepers]]''
*''[[Jefferson in Paris]]''
*''[[Jem and the Holograms (film)|Jem and the Holograms]]''
*''[[Jennifer's Body]]''
{{Col-3}}
*''[[Jeremiah Johnson]]''
*[[The Jerk|''Jerk'', ''The'']]
*''[[Jerry Maguire]]''
*''[[Jetsons: The Movie]]''
*''[[The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones]]''
*''[[JFK (film)|JFK]]''
*[[Jigsaw (1949 film)|''Jigsaw'']] (1949)
*''[[Joe's Apartment]]''
*''[[Joe Dirt]]''
*''[[Joe Versus the Volcano]]''
*''[[John Q.]]''
*''[[Johnny Dangerously]]''
*''[[Johnny English]]''
*''[[Johnny English Reborn]]''
* ''[[Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie]]''
*''[[Jonathan Livingston Seagull (film)|Jonathan Livingston Seagull]]''
*''[[John Tucker Must Die]]''
*''[[John Wick (film)]]''
*''[[John Wick: Chapter 2]]''
*''[[Joker_(2019_film)|Joker]]''
*''[[Jonny Quest vs. The Cyber Insects]]''
*''[[Joseph: King of Dreams]]''
*''[[Joshua Tree (1993 film)|Joshua Tree]]'' (1993)
*''[[Journey 2: The Mysterious Island]]''
*''[[Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008 film)|Journey to the Center of the Earth]]'' (2008)
*''[[Jude]]''
{{Col-3}}
*''[[Judgment at Nuremberg]]''
*''[[Jumanji]]''
* ''[[Jumanji: The Next Level]]''
*''[[Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle]]''
*''[[Jumper]]''
*''[[Junebug]]''
*''[[Jungle 2 Jungle]]''
*''[[The Jungle Book (1967 film)|Jungle Book, The]]'' (1967)
*''[[The Jungle Book 2|Jungle Book 2, The]]''
*''[[The Jungle Book (2016 film)|Jungle Book, The]]'' (2016)
*''[[Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park]]''
*''[[Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom]]''
*''[[Jurassic Park: The Lost World]]''
*''[[Jurassic Park 3]]''
*''[[Jurassic World]]''
*''[[Just Before Dawn (1981 film)|Just Before Dawn]]'' (1981)
*''[[Just Friends]]''
*''[[Just Go with It]]''
*''[[Justin Bieber: Never Say Never]]''
*''[[Just Like Heaven]]''
*''[[Just One of the Guys]]''
*''[[Justice League (film)|Justice League]]''
*''[[Juwanna Mann]]''
{{Col-end}}

===K===
{{Col-begin}}
{{Col-3}}
*''[[K2 (film)|K2]]''
*''[[K-PAX]]''
*''[[Kagemusha]]''
*''[[Kalifornia]]''
*''[[Kangaroo Jack]]''
*''[[The Karate Kid|Karate Kid, The]]''
*''[[The Karate Kid, Part II|Karate Kid, Part II, The]]''
*''[[The Karate Kid, Part III|Karate Kid, Part III, The]]''
*''[[Kate &amp; Leopold]]''
*''[[Kelly's Heroes]]''
*''[[The Kentucky Fried Movie|Kentucky Fried Movie, The]]''
*''[[Key Largo (1948 film)|Key Largo]]'' (1948)
*''[[Khuda Kay Liye]]''
*''[[Kick-Ass (film)|Kick-Ass]]''
*''[[Kick-Ass 2]]''
*''[[Kicking and Screaming (1995 film)|Kicking and Screaming]]'' (1995)
*''[[Kicking &amp; Screaming (2005 film)|Kicking &amp; Screaming]]'' (2005)
*''[[The Kids Are All Right (film)|Kids Are All Right, The]]''
*''[[Kill Bill: Volume 1]]''
*''[[Kill Bill: Volume 2]]''
*''[[Killer Klowns from Outer Space]]''
{{Col-3}}
*''[[The Killers (1946 film)|Killers, The]]'' (1946)
*''[[The Killer Inside Me (2010 film)|Killer Inside Me, The]]'' (2010)
*''[[The Killing (film)|Killing, The]]''
*''[[The Killing Fields|Killing Fields, The]]''
*''[[Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time]]''
*''[[Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama]]''
*''[[Kindergarten Cop]]''
*''[[Kind Hearts and Coronets]]''
*''[[King Arthur]]''
*''[[King Arthur: Legend of the Sword]]''
*''[[King Kong (1933 film)|King Kong]]'' (1933)
*''[[King Kong (2005 film)|King Kong]]'' (2005)
*''[[The King of Comedy (1983 film)|King of Comedy, The]]'' (1983)
*''[[King of New York]]''
*''[[The King's Speech|King's Speech, The]]''
*''[[Kings Row]]''
*''[[Kingdom of Heaven (film)|Kingdom of Heaven]]''
*''[[Kingpin]]''
*''[[Kinsey]]''
*''[[A Kiss Before Dying (1991 film)|Kiss Before Dying, A]]'' (1991)
*''[[Kiss Kiss Bang Bang]]''
*''[[Kiss Me Deadly]]''
{{Col-3}}
*''[[Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye (1950 film)|Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye]]'' (1950)
*''[[The Kite Runner (film)|Kite Runner, The]]''
*''[[Klute]]''
*''[[Knight and Day]]''
*''[[Knighty Knight Bugs]]''
*''[[A Knight's Tale|Knight's Tale, A]]''
*''[[Knives Out]]''
*''[[Knocked Up]]''
* ''[[Knowing (film)|Knowing]]''
*''[[Knute Rockne, All American]]''
*''[[Kramer vs. Kramer]]''
* ''[[Kubo and the Two Strings]]''
*''[[Kung Fu Hustle]]''
*''[[Kung Fu Panda]]''
*''[[Kung Fu Panda 2]]''
*''[[Kung Fu Panda 3]]''
*''[[Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Furious Five]]''
*''[[Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters]]''
*''[[Kung Pow! Enter the Fist]]''
*''[[Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck]]''
{{Col-end}}

===L===
{{Col-begin}}
{{Col-3}}
*''[[L. A. Confidential]]''
*''[[L. A. Story]]''
*''[[La La Land (film)|La La Land]]''
*''[[La lengua de las mariposas]]''
*''[[Labyrinth]]''
*''[[Ladder 49]]''
*[[The Ladies Man|''Ladies Man'', ''The'']]
*''[[Lady and the Tramp]]''
*''[[Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure]]''
*''[[Lady Bird (film)|Lady Bird]]''
*[[The Lady Eve|''Lady Eve'', ''The'']]
*[[The Lady from Shanghai|''Lady from Shanghai'', ''The'']]
*''[[Lady in the Water]]''
*[[The Lady Vanishes (1938 film)|''Lady Vanishes'', ''The'']] (1938)
*''[[Land of the Dead]]''
*''[[Lara Croft: Tomb Raider]]''
*''[[Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life]]''
*''[[Larger than Life (film)|Larger than Life (film)]]''
*''[[The Life of Larry and Larry &amp; Steve#Larry &amp; Steve (1997)|Larry &amp; Steve]]''
*''[[Last Action Hero]]''
*[[The Last Boy Scout|''Last Boy Scout'', ''The'']]
*[[The Last Days of Disco|''Last Days of Disco'', ''The'']]
*[[The Last Detail|''Last Detail'', ''The'']]
*[[The Last House on the Left (2009 film)|''Last House on the Left'', ''The'']] (2009)
* ''[[The Last Kiss|Last Kiss, The]]''
*[[The Last Man on Earth (1964 film)|''Last Man on Earth'', ''The'']] (1964)
*[[The Last Mimzy|''Last Mimzy'', ''The'']]
*[[The Last of the Mohicans (1992 film)|''Last of the Mohicans'', ''The'']] (1992)
*[[The Last Picture Show|''Last Picture Show'', ''The'']]
*[[The Last Samurai|''Last Samurai'', ''The'']]
*[[The Last Seduction|''Last Seduction'', ''The'']]
*[[The Last Starfighter|''Last Starfighter'', ''The'']]
*[[The Last Unicorn (film)|''Last Unicorn'', ''The'']]
*''[[Laura (1944 film)|Laura]]'' (1944)
*''[[Latter Days]]''
*''[[Laura's Star]]''
*[[The Lavender Hill Mob|''Lavender Hill Mob'', ''The'']]
*''[[Law Abiding Citizen]]''
*''[[Lawrence of Arabia (film)|Lawrence of Arabia]]''
*''[[Layer Cake]]''
*''[[Legally Blonde]]''
*''[[Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde]]''
*''[[Lean on Me]]''
*[[The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen|''League of Extraordinary Gentlemen'', ''The'']]
*[[A League of Their Own|''League of Their Own'', ''A'']]
*''[[Leave Her to Heaven]]''
*''[[Leaving Las Vegas]]''
*''[[Legend (film)|Legend]]''
*''[[Legends of the Fall]]''
*''[[Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole]]''
*''[[Legion (2010 film)|Legion]]'' (2010)
*[[The Legend of 1900|''Legend of 1900'', ''The'']]
{{Col-3}}
*[[The Legend of Zorro|''Legend of Zorro'', ''The'']]
* ''[[The Lego Batman Movie|Lego Batman Movie, The]]''
* ''[[The Lego Movie|Lego Movie, The]]''
* ''[[The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part|Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, The]]''
* ''[[The Lego Ninjago Movie|Lego Ninjago Movie, The]]''
* ''[[Lemonade Mouth]]''
*''[[Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events]]''
*''[[Lenny]]''
*''[[Léon]]''
*''[[Leroy &amp; Stitch]]''
*''[[Les Misérables (1998 film)|Les Misérables]]'' (1998)
*''[[Les Misérables (2012 film)|Les Misérables]]'' (2012)
*''[[Lesbian Vampire Killers]]''
*''[[Let's Be Cops]]''
*''[[Lethal Weapon]]''
*''[[Lethal Weapon 2]]''
*''[[Lethal Weapon 3]]''
*''[[Lethal Weapon 4]]''
*[[The Letter (1940 film)|''Letter'', ''The'']] (1940)
*''[[Letter from an Unknown Woman (1948 film)|Letter from an Unknown Woman]]'' (1948)
*''[[Letters from Iwo Jima]]''
*''[[Letters to Juliet]]''
*''[[Liar, Liar]]''
*[[The Libertine (2004 film)|''Libertine'', ''The'']] (2004)
*[[The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou|''Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou'', ''The'']]
*''[[Life as a House]]''
*''[[Lifeboat (film)|Lifeboat]]''
*''[[Life Is Beautiful]]''
*''[[Life of Brian]]''
*[[The Life of David Gale|''Life of David Gale'', ''The'']]
*[[The Life of Larry and Larry &amp; Steve#The Life of Larry (1995)|''Life of Larry'', ''The'']]
* ''[[Life of Pi]]''
*''[[Life or Something Like It]]''
*''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch]]''
*''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch]]''
*''[[Limitless (film)|Limitless]]''
*''[[Lincoln (2012 film)|Lincoln]]'' (2012)
*''[[Lion (2016 film)|Lion]]'' (2016)
*[[The Lion King|''Lion King'', ''The'']]
* ''[[The Lion King (2019 film)|Lion King, The]]'' (2019)
*[[The Lion King 1½|''Lion King 1½'', ''The'']]
*[[The Lion King II: Simba's Pride|''Lion King II: Simba's Pride'', ''The'']]
*''[[Liquid Sky]]''
*''[[Little Big Man]]''
*''[[Little Caesar (film)|Little Caesar]]''
*''[[Little Children (film)|Little Children]]''
*''[[Little Giants]]''
*[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|''Little Mermaid'', ''The'']] (1989)
* ''[[The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning|Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning, The]]''
*[[The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea|''Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea'', ''The'']]
*''[[Little Miss Sunshine]]''
{{Col-3}}
*''[[Little Nicky]]''
*[[A Little Princess (1973 TV serial)|''Little Princess'', ''The'']] (1973 TV serial)
*[[The Little Rascals|''Little Rascals'', ''The'']]
*''[[Little Rural Riding Hood]]''
*[[The Little Shop of Horrors‎|''Little Shop of Horrors'', ''The'']] (1960)
*[[Little Shop of Horrors (film)|''Little Shop of Horrors'']] (1986)
*''[[Live Free or Die Hard]]''
*''[[Live and Let Die]]''
*''[[The Lizzie McGuire Movie|Lizzie McGuire Movie, The]]''
*''[[The Lobster|Lobster, The]]''
*''[[Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels]]''
*''[[Logan (film)|Logan]]'' (2017)
*''[[Lolita (1962 film)|Lolita]]'' (1962)
*[[The Lone Ranger (2013 film)|''Lone Ranger'', ''The'']] (2013)
*[[The Lonesome Mouse|''Lonesome Mouse'', ''The'']]
*''[[Lone Star (1996 film)|Lone Star]]'' (1996)
*[[The Long Kiss Goodnight|''Long Kiss Goodnight'', ''The'']]
*[[The Long Goodbye (film)|''Long Goodbye'', ''The'']]
*[[The Longest Day|''Longest Day'', ''The'']]
*''[[Looney Tunes: Back in Action]]''
*''[[Looper (film)|Looper]]''
*[[The Lorax (film)|''Lorax'', ''The'']]
*''[[Lord of the Flies (1990 film)|Lord of the Flies]]'' (1990)
*[[The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (film)|''Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring'', ''The'']]
*[[The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (film)|''Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King'', ''The'']]
*[[The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (film)|''Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers'', ''The'']]
*''[[Lord of War]]''
*''[[Lords of Dogtown]]''
*''[[Lorenzo's Oil]]''
*''[[Loser]]''
*[[The Lost Boys|''Lost Boys'', ''The'']]
*''[[Lost Highway]]''
*''[[Lost Horizon (film)|Lost Horizon]]''
*''[[Lost in Space]]''
*''[[Lost in Translation]]''
*[[The Lost Weekend|''Lost Weekend'', ''The'']]
*[[A Lot Like Love|''Lot Like Love'', ''A'']]
*''[[Love Actually]]''
*''[[Love and Death]]''
*[[The Love Bug|''Love Bug'', ''The'']]
*[[The Love Guru|''Love Guru'', ''The'']]
*''[[Love Me If You Dare]]''
*''[[Love Story (film)|Love Story]]''
*''[[Love is the Devil: Study for a Portrait of Francis Bacon]]''
*[[The Lovely Bones (film)|''Lovely Bones'', ''The'']]
*''[[Loving Annabelle]]''
*''[[Lucas (film)|Lucas]]''
*''[[Lucky Number Slevin]]''
{{Col-end}}

==Requested==
===J===
* ''[[The Jackal|Jackal, The]]''
* ''[[Jackass]]''
* ''[[Jackass 2]]''
* ''[[Jacob Have I Loved]]''
* ''[[Jade]]''
* ''[[Jailbait with Michael Pitt]]''
* ''[[Jane Eyre (1944 film)|Jane Eyre]]'' (1944)
* ''[[Jane Eyre (1996 film)|Jane Eyre]]'' (1996)
* ''[[Jane Eyre (1997 film)|Jane Eyre]]'' (1997)
* ''[[Jason T. Conrad and Friends: Viking-Sized Adventures]]''
* ''[[Johnny Guitar]]''
* ''[[Johnny Kapahala: Back on Board]]''
* ''[[Johnny Mnemonic]]''
* ''[[Johnny Tsunami]]''
* ''[[Joy Division (2006 film)|Joy Division]]'' (2006)
* ''[[Judas and the Black Messiah]]'' 
* ''[[The Judge (1960 film)|Judge, The]]'' (1960)
* ''[[The Judge (1984 film)|Judge, The]]'' (1984)
* ''[[The Judge (2014 film)|Judge, The]]'' (2014)
* ''[[Julie &amp; Julia]]''
* ''[[Jumpin' Jack Flash]]''
* ''[[The Jungle Book (1994 film)]]''
* ''[[Jungle Book: Mowgli's Story]]''
* ''[[Jungle Cruise (film)|Jungle Cruise]]''
* ''[[Just Married]]''
* ''[[Just My Luck]]''
* ''[[Just Visiting]]''

===K===
* ''[[Keith]]''
* ''[[The Kid (1999 film)|Kid, The]]'' (1999)
* ''[[The Kid (2010 film)|Kid, The]]'' (2010)
* ''[[The King (2019 film)|King, The]]'' (2019)
* ''[[Kids in America]]''
* ''[[The Killer|Killer, The]]''
* ''[[King of Kings]]''
* ''[[The Kingdom (film)|Kingdom, The]]''
* ''[[Knock on Any Door]]''
* ''[[Knocking on the Heaven's Door]]''
* ''[[Krippendorf's Tribe]]''

===L===
{{Col-begin}}
{{Col-2}}
* ''[[Lackawanna Blues]]''
* ''[[The Lady in the Water|Lady in the Water, The]]''
* ''[[Lagaan]]''
* ''[[Land Before Time, The]]''
* ''[[Las Vegas (film)|Las Vegas]]''
* ''[[The Last Don|Last Don]]''
* ''[[Last Night]]''
* ''[[Last Place on Earth, The]]''
* ''[[The Last Producer|Last Producer, The]]''
* ''[[Late Night Shopping]]''
* ''[[Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III]]''
* ''[[Leatherheads]]''
* ''[[Leaving Normal]]''
* ''[[The Legend of the Lone Ranger|Legend of the Lone Ranger, The]]''
* ''[[The Legend of Tarzan|Legend of Tarzan, The]]''
* ''[[Leiutajateküla Lotte]]''
* ''[[The Lemon Drop Kid|Lemon Drop Kid, The]]''
* ''[[Let Me In]]''
* ''[[Leven Thumps]]''
* ''[[The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean|Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean, The]]''
* ''[[Lightning Over Water]]''
* ''[[The Limey|Limey, The]]''
* ''[[The Lincoln Lawyer|Lincoln Lawyer, The]]''
* ''[[The Lion in Winter|Lion in Winter, The]]''
{{Col-2}}
* ''[[The Lion of the Desert|Lion of the Desert, The]]''
* ''[[Lions For Lambs]]''
* ''[[Little Black Book]]''
* ''[[Little Manhattan]]''
* ''[[A Little Princess|Little Princess, A]] ''(1995)
* ''[[The Little Things (2021 film)|Little Things, The]]''
* ''[[Little Women (1994 film)|Little Women]]'' (1994)
* ''[[Local Hero]]''
* ''[[London Boulevard]]''
* ''[[The Lookout|Lookout, The]]''
* ''[[Lone Ranger, The (1956 film)|The Lone Ranger]]'' (1956)
* ''[[Lost and Found]]''
* ''[[Love at Large]]''
* ''[[Lost in Space (1998 Film)]]''
* ''[[Love, Honour and Obey]]''
* ''[[Love in the Afternoon]]''
* ''[[Love Jones]]''
* ''[[A Love Song for Bobby Long|Love Song for Bobby Long, A]]''
* ''[[Love the Hard Way]]''
* ''[[Love Stinks]]''
* ''[[Luca (2021 film)|Luca]]''
* ''[[The Lusty Men|Lusty Men, The]]''
{{Col-end}}

==Notes==
'''When adding a title to the Requested section, please check first to see if it is already in the list (either under the main or the Requested section).''' If it isn't, you might also check to see if the article exists (by entering the title in the Search box and pressing Go), as some editors may have forgotten to add their new film articles to this list. '''When you add a title to this list, please add it in proper alphabetical order within the appropriate section.'''

When creating a page for a film, please include the year the film was released and list key creators of the film, as well as the quotations from it. After the quotations, please provide a list of major members of the cast. Links to the [[w:Internet Movie Database|IMDb]] and other sites with reviews or trailers can all be helpful additions. See this article's [[Talk:List of films|discussion page]] and [[Wikiquote talk:Templates#Films &amp; TV Shows|Templates#Films &amp; TV Shows]] for discussions and examples of formats for film articles.

After a film article has been created, the link on this page will be blue. Please move these titles into the main (existing article) section after creating the show article.

If you would like Wikiquote to be the ultimate resource for film quotations, please help us expand film articles that need attention, which are listed at [[:Category:Film stubs|Film stubs]] and [[:Category:Film cleanup|Film cleanup]] [[:Category:Wikiquote maintenance|categories]].

==See also==
{{media lists}}
* [[w:AFI's 100 Years...100 Movie Quotes|AFI's 100 Years...100 Movie Quotes]] (greatest movie quotes)
*[[List of films (A–C)]]
*[[List of films (D–F)]]
*[[List of films (G–I)]]
*[[List of films (M–O)]]
*[[List of films (P–S)]]
*[[List of films (T–V)]]
*[[List of films (W–Z)]]

[[Category:Films|*]]
[[Category:Lists|films]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Drake &amp; Josh/Season 3</title>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Drake &amp; Josh/Season 1|1]] [[Drake &amp; Josh/Season 2|2]] [[Drake &amp; Josh/Season 3|3]] [[Drake &amp; Josh/Season 4|4]] | [[Drake &amp; Josh|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:Drake &amp; Josh|Drake &amp; Josh]]''''' is an American television sitcom created by Dan Schneider for Nickelodeon. The series follows the lives of two teenage boys with opposite personalities, Drake Parker (Drake Bell) and Josh Nichols (Josh Peck), who are stepbrothers.

===The Drake &amp; Josh Inn===
:''[Drake and Josh hop up from behind the couch and sit on either side of Megan, smiling]''
:'''Megan''': What?
:'''Drake''': ''[singing]'' ''We're gonna be the boss of you''
:'''Josh''': ''[singing]'' ''And you have to do-oo what we say''
:'''Drake''': ''[singing]'' ''Ha ha!''
:'''Josh''': ''[singing]'' ''Ha-ha ha haa!''
:'''Megan''': Okay, you, can't sing. You're a moron. And what are you talking about anyway?
:'''Drake''': We're talking about the fact that Mom and Dad are gonna be out of town ''all'' weekend.
:'''Josh''': Which means we are in charge of the house.
:'''Drake''': The refrigerator.
:'''Josh''': The TV set.
:'''Drake''': And, the you.
:'''Megan''': Oh, you guys think you're going to be in charge?
:'''Josh''': Yeah, we are.
:'''Drake''': In fact, I've decided to change the channel. ''[changes the channel on TV]''
:'''Megan''': I was watching something.
:'''Josh''': Um. Were.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, good one. ''[he and Josh fist pump]''
:'''Megan''': ''[stands up]'' GIVE ME THE REMOTE.
:'''Drake''': ''[stands up]'' I don't think so, Megan. In fact, why don't you just run up to your- ''[Megan flips him]''
:'''Josh''': ''[stands up]'' What the? Megan, you can't just flip someone- ''[Megan flips him and sits on the couch with the remote]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Josh turns off the radio and honks at everyone]''
:'''Nikki''': Hey, what's going on?
:'''College Guy''': Turn the music back up!
:'''Drake''': Everyone, quiet, please!
:'''Josh''': Okay, we have an emergency!
:'''Drake''': Ah, yes, it seems we have a serious gas leak here in the Drake and Josh Inn!
:'''College Guy''': Oh, uh, sorry, I think that was me.
:'''Josh''': No! Alright, there is a serious leak of hydro... mono... monoxipuff gas!
:'''Drake''': Uh, yeah, it makes your eyes bleed!
:'''Josh''': So if everyone will please leave the building immediately-
:'''Helen''': I don't believe 'em!
:'''Nikki''': Yeah! Come on, let's party!
:''[everyone starts dancing again]''
:'''Drake''': ''[to Megan, through a walkie talkie]'' Now!
:'''Megan''': ''[in Drake and Josh's room]'' Copy! ''[turns on a gas machine linked to the vent in Drake and Josh's room as green gas begins emanating from the vent in the living room to kick out all of the spring breakers]''
:'''Josh''': Oh, no! Look! ''[points to the vent]''
:'''Drake''': It's the monoxipuff gas!
:''[everyone starts screaming and leaves the house when Megan pranks them with the monoxipuff gas from Drake and Josh's room]''
:'''Josh''': Now, lock it! Now, hug me, brother! ''[he and Drake hug themselves after everyone leaves the house]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:''[cops arrive after hearing about how the Nicholas-Parkers' house was having a party with college kids on TV]'' 
:'''Walter''': Yes, officers, can we help you? 
:'''Cop''': Yes. Sir, you know it's against the law to host a televised event from a private residence without a city authorized permit. 
:'''Walter''': Heh? 
:'''Audrey''': We didn't host a televised event. 
:'''Cop''': Yeah, we have evidence that says you did. 
:'''Walter''': But, officers- 
:'''Cop''': D, please. ''[they grab Walter and Audrey]'' 
:'''Audrey''': No, what're you-? 
:'''Walter''': But, you see, look- I'm a weatherman. ''[cop shuts the door]''

===Peruvian Puff Pepper===
:''[Drake and Josh are at Megan's room]''
:'''Drake''': Man, there's nothing in here. It just looks like a normal girl's room.
:'''Josh''': ''[hears electrical blurb]'' Oh, you think? ''[takes unicorn poster off wall to find a spy monitor behind it]'' Holy cheese! Look at all that equipment!
:'''Drake''': So this is how she always knows what we're doing! What do you think this button does? ''[presses button and it shocks Josh's butt]''
:'''Josh''': So that's why that's been happening! ''[pause]'' I thought it was puberty.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Audrey''': Oh, my kitchen! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Drake and Josh are both disqualified when they reveal their secret, as Peruvian Puff Peppers are illegal in the United States, leaving Megan as the winner]''
:'''Megan''':  What, you think I purposely got the Peruvian Puff Peppers knowing you'd steal them from me and use them in your own salsa? Just so I could point it out to the judges get you disqualified? And then walk away with the yatsubishi plasma screen TV for myself? Come on. I'm not that smart. ''[walks away while Drake and Josh look very disappointed]''

===We're Married===
:''[Opening comments: Josh emailed his e-pal from a foreign country while Drake got so thirsty and pranked called Josh]''
:'''Josh''': ''[looks up from a book]'' Have you ever been really good friends with someone you never even met before?
:'''Drake''': ''[looks up from a magazine]'' Have you ever been really thirsty, just didn't feel like getting up?
:'''Josh''': See, for over a year now, I've been e-mailing this girl from a foreign country. ''[telephone starts ringing]'' One sec. ''[picks up phone]'' Hello?
:'''Drake''': ''[on the phone in a bad accent]'' Yeah, this is Lieutenant Peterson with the San Diego Police Department.
:'''Josh''': ''[skeptical and aware that's actually Drake]'' Oh is it?
:'''Drake''': ''[still using the bad accent]'' Yeah, you're gonna need to get a can of soda upstairs to your brother, at code three.
:'''Josh''': ''[getting annoyed with Drake]'' Code this! ''[blows whistle into the phone receiver loudly as he and Drake hangs the phone up]'' Anyway, back to my e-pal, Yooka. It's kinda weird to be friends with someone you've never met or even talked to on the phone, but I— ''[telephone rings again and gets angry revealing that it's Walter on the phone thinking it's Drake]'' If you call me one more time, I will take an entire bottle of maple syrup and pour all over your underwear drawer, so for the next 90 days you could walk around with sticky butt!
:'''Walter''': ''[confused]'' Josh, it's your father.
:'''Josh''': Nice try, you big doof! ''[hangs up the phone]'' Man! If he's so thirsty, why can't he come downstairs, go in the kitchen and get himself— ''[looks and sees Drake sitting on the couch and realizes his mistake]'' Oh, jeez.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
D 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Audrey''': Ok, Drake. I just want you to calmly explain to me WHY YOU ARE MARRIED TO THAT EUDONAIN GIRL!
:'''Drake''': Well, you see Josh arranged this this whole friendship ceremony, but but it turned to be a marriage ceremony.
:'''Audrey''': Josh! You did this?
:'''Josh''': What!? Drake's the one that said: &quot;EE-NAY KURESAI M'JOONGA OON-TA-YAH&quot; WHEN THE SUN WAS IN THE HOUSE OF KARFLOG!!
:'''Audurey''': ''[confused]'' What?
:'''Walter''': Alright. We'll just call the Eudonain embassy and we'll have them annll the marriage.
:'''Josh''': I tried. You can't get the marriage enough unless both the husband and wife agree. Don't worry, alright. I'm working on a plan.
:'''Drake''': Oprah is never calling you back!
:'''Josh''': No. ''[opens to the fridge and gets a container out of there and places it on the table]'' Mom, dad, just go out there and keep Yooka's parents busy for a while. ''[Audrey and Walter stare at him]'' Just trust me.
:'''Walter''': Alright, come on. ''[he and Audrey walk away]''

===Mindy's Back===
:'''Mindy''': Oh, Josh. Don't you ever learn that I can outsmart you at anytime I want?
:'''Josh''': Oh, yeah?
:'''Mindy''': Yeah. Say fort.
:'''Josh''': Fort.
:'''Mindy''': Say fort 3 times.
:'''Josh''': Fort, fort, fort.
:'''Mindy''': Spell it twice.
:'''Josh''': F-O-R-T, F-O-R-T.
:'''Mindy''': Say it 2 more times.
:'''Josh''': Fort, fort.
:'''Mindy''': Now, what do you eat soup with?
:'''Josh''': With a fork! Ha!
:'''Mindy''': Really? Because I eat my soup with a spoon.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, cause if you eat soup with a fork, all the liquid would just fall down from the-
:'''Josh''': ''[screaming]'' I KNOW!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mindy''': Maybe I just like you!
:'''Josh''': Maybe I just like you, too!
:'''Mindy''': Oh, really?!
:'''Josh''': Yeah. Maybe I've liked you for a really long time, but I didn't realize it 'cause I hated you so much!
:'''Mindy''': Are you saying you like me or not?
:'''Josh''': Are you saying you like ''me'' or not?!
:'''Mindy''': I'm saying I like you!
:'''Josh''': Well, I'm sayin' I like ''you''!
:'''Mindy''': Fine!
:'''Josh''': Fine!
:'''Mindy''': Then I guess we're boyfriend and girlfriend!
:'''Josh''': 1 condition!
:'''Mindy''': What?
:'''Josh''': I get to be the boyfriend! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Josh''': Hey, Mindy.

===The Affair=== 
:'''Drake''': ''[yells in a bullhorn]'' GET OFF OF ME! ''[Josh gets out]'' Now, what was I right about? 
:'''Josh''': About dad, alright? I think he ''is'' dating another woman. 
:'''Drake''': What happened? 
:'''Josh''': Well, I caught him sneaking in. He was wearing a suit. When I asked him where he'd been, he says: ''[imitates Walter]'' &quot;I was out buyin' milk, but I drank it all on the way home!&quot; 
:'''Drake''': Oh, that's bad! 
:'''Josh''': I know! 
:'''Drake''': I really needed some milk. 
:'''Josh''': ''[slaps Drake with a pillow]'' THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR DAIRY NEEDS!!! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:''[Drake and Josh run out of the kitchen while Walter is choking from cumin from his waffle (which he is allergic to)]''
:'''Josh''': ''[angrily]'' YOU PUT CUMIN IN HIS WAFFLE?!
:'''Drake''': You told me to put cumin in his waffle!
:'''Josh''': I said cinnamon. CINNAMON! 
:'''Drake''': What's the difference?
:'''Josh''': Everything! Alright? Cinnamon is sweet and delicious, cumin is a Mexican spice. You were flavoring a waffle, not a CHIMICHANGA!
:'''Drake''': Oh, so I made a little mistake.
:'''Josh''': A HUGE mistake. Alright, Dad's allergic to cumin and he's probably in there dying right now. ''[pause]'' DAD!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Walter angrily turns around and look at Drake and Josh when he found these two noisy for ruining his date, but he seems to ignore them]''
:'''Josh''': We know you're mad.
:'''Drake''': But we had to do it.
:'''Josh''': We couldn't let that skunk bag steal you away from mom.
:'''Drake''': And ruin our whole family.
:'''Josh''': But don't worry.
:'''Drake''': We won't tell mom about this whole episode.
:'''Josh''': We got your back!
:'''Walter''': ''[after ignoring Drake and Josh for ruining his date]'' You think I was dating that woman? 
:'''Josh''': Well, uh... 
:'''Drake''': Yeah.
:'''Walter''': Boys, that &quot;skunk-bag&quot; just so happens to be the senior producer of ''Good Morning Today'', and she was talking to me about being the weatherman...on the #1 ''[angrily]'' '''NATIONAL MORNING SHOW IN AMERICA!'''
:'''Josh''': Well, that's different.
:'''Drake''': Yeah. We're gonna go.
:'''Josh''': Bye. ''[he and Drake leave but Walter stops them]''
:'''Walter''': No, you're not. You're gonna do something else.
:'''Josh''': Right.
:'''Drake''': No problem.
:'''Josh''': Now? 
:'''Walter''': Uh-huh. 
:''[as retribution for messing up the lunch and costing him the job, Walter makes Drake and Josh dump food on themselves]''

===Playing the Field===
:'''Drake''': Tori.
:'''Josh''': ''[in a very girly voice]'' What is it, Drake?
:'''Drake''': Okay, I can't do this if he's gonna talk like that.
:'''Josh''': I'm being a girl.
:'''Drake''': What girl has a mustache other than your grandmother?
:'''Josh''': ''[angrily]'' THAT TEARS IT!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Josh''': There are more important things in life than kissing girls.
:'''Drake''': Name 2.
:'''Josh''': I can't! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
D

===Helen's Surgery===
:'''Drake''': Not just any candy. These are Super Power Mega Sours. The hottest and the sourest candy in the galaxy. ''[takes out one]'' And there it is.
:'''Josh''': Pretty big day for you isn't it?
:'''Drake''': The biggest! ''[puts the candy in his mouth]''
:'''Josh''': So how is it?
:'''Drake''': It's pretty sour and it's pretty hot, I just expected it to be more. ''[makes sour face]'' OH, MY GOD! OH, it hurts! Oh, my tongue! ''[runs in circles around kitchen]''
:'''Josh''': So spit it out!
:'''Drake''': No! I wuv it! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
D

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Drake''': ''[while wandering around the room]'' Man, Helen, you got a groove machine? And a hot tub? Man, this place cost you like, a billion dollars.
:'''Josh''': Yeah, how do you afford all this?
:'''Helen''': Is that some of your business?
:'''Drake''': How do you afford it?
:'''Helen''': Well, I'll tell you, Drake. I still get money from ''Happy Times''.
:'''Josh''': ''Happy Times'', wasn't that like a TV show back in the 70s?
:'''Helen''': That's the one.
:'''Drake''': Whoa, you played the little sister on ''Happy Times''?
:'''Helen''': Yes, I was little Georgia.
:'''Drake''': Awesome.
:'''Josh''': So cool.
:'''Helen''': Well you know, I don't like to brag about it you know. You want to watch an episode? The tapes on top of the VCR and Josh you help me get to the sofa. 
:'''Josh''': Alright.
:''[Drake turns on the TV while Josh and Helen sit on the sofa]''
:'''Helen''': Just put it on auxiliary one and press play.
:'''Josh''': Auxiliary one and play.

===Paging Dr. Drake===
:'''Megan''': ''[grabs her drink and sees a bug on the wall]'' Mom, there's a bug in the wall.
:'''Audrey''': Josh, go kill the bug.
:'''Josh''': ''[gets up but refuses to kill it after Drake injured his foot]'' Go kill the bug.
:'''Drake''': I don't want to kill a bug.
:'''Walter''': Josh, she asked you to do it. ''[Josh gets an orange and kills the bug as he missed]'' GET UP AND GO SQUISH THAT BUG!
:'''Audrey''': Right now!
:'''Josh''': ''[worried]'' Okay. ''[he gets up and walks with a cane as he tries to kill the bug]''
:'''Audrey''': Okay, what up with the cane?
:'''Josh''': ''[mumbles]'' I use it to kill bugs and whatnot? ''[kills the bug with a cane]'' See? ''[falls down to the floor when he feels his foot accident]''
:'''Walter''': ''[gets up]'' JOSH! ''[he and Audrey walk up to him after he falls to the floor]'' What's the matter with you?
:'''Josh''': I don't know! This house is tilted!
:'''Megan''': No! Josh crushed his foot and he refuses to go to the hospital.
:'''Audrey''': ''[worried]'' You what?
:'''Walter''': Let's get his shoe off. ''[he and Audrey took him to sit on a chair]''
:'''Josh''': Look, d-don't even worry about it, alright. ''[Walter takes off his shoe]'' I'm-I'm sure it's-it's fine, it doesn't really even hurt any- ''[he, Walter, Audrey, and Megan yell at his badly injured left foot after he dropped a barbell on it by Drake, much to his horror]'' MORE!!! 
:'''Audrey''': OH, NO!!!
:'''Walter''': AH!!! JOSH!!!
:'''Megan''': Cool!
:''[they look at Josh's injured foot which has black marks from Drake's accident]''
:'''Drake''': Looks like mom's meatloaf! ''[his parents stare at him]'' Which tastes so good.
:'''Audrey''': How did this happened?
:'''Drake''': He dropped a barbell on it.
:'''Josh''': Yeah, after you shot me with a potato.
:'''Audrey''': A potato?
:'''Drake''': It's a long story.
:'''Walter''': ''[curious]'' Why didn't you tell us about this?
:'''Josh''': ''[worried]'' 'Cause I'm afraid of hospitals, alright?
:'''Walter''': Oh, come on!
:'''Audrey''': Do you know how serious this could be?
:'''Walter''': ''[after discovering Josh's foot]'' You could lose that foot!
:'''Josh''': ''[whining]'' But I love this foot!
:'''Audrey''': Come on, we need to get him to the hospital right now.
:''[as Drake leaves, Audrey and Walter help Josh to get to the hospital]''
:'''Megan''': If they have to remove this foot, can I have it?
:'''Walter and Audrey''': No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Walter''': Pardon me, nurse.
:'''Nurse''': Yes?
:'''Walter''': Could you tell me what time my son's surgery is suppose to start? His name is Josh Nichols.
:'''Nurse''': Oh, I'm sorry. He passed away.
:'''Walter''': What?
:'''Nurse''': Oh, wait. ''Josh Nichols''. His surgery doesn't start for a couple hours.
:'''Walter''': Thanks.
:'''Nurse''': Sure. ''[she walks away]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
Drake jumps out the window

===Foam Finger===
:''[flashback #1: in Josh's recollection]''
:'''Little Josh''': I'm gonna buy a foam finger.
:'''Little Drake''': Um, could you not talk to me?
:'''Little Josh''': Ha-ha! You're funny. Wanna be friends?
:'''Little Drake''': If I say yes, will you stop talking to me?
:'''Little Josh''': Um, pardon me, but I think you're next in line.
:'''Little Drake''': Yeah, I know. Hey girls? Why don't you cut in you can all buy foam fingers.
:''[A group of little girls whoop while cutting and get in line to buy all the foam fingers]''
:'''Little Josh''': Hey, no cutsies! Um, I was in line! ''[the little girls leave after buying almost all of the foam fingers]'' Ladies!
:'''Little Drake''': Got any foam fingers left?
:'''Lenny''': Just one.
:'''Little Drake''': Good. I'll buy it. So he can't have it!
:'''Little Josh''': Heh!?
:'''Lenny''': Here you go, the last foam finger.
:'''Little Drake''': Ha-ha! I got the last foam finger!
:'''Little Josh''': Daddy! ''[little Drake hits him]'' You thumped me!
:'''Little Drake''': Did not.
:'''Little Josh''': Daddy!
:''[Little Drake tackles Little Josh, causing a fight for the last foam finger]''
:'''Lenny''': Cops! Cops!
:''[they continue fighting until the cops show up as Josh's recollection ends]''
:'''Josh''': And then the cops had to come break it up! 

&lt; 
Cause I’m number 1! 

&lt; 
LIVING!!! 

&lt; 
Hey. 

&lt; 
Get outta here. 

&lt; I hope they cancel Oprah! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[flashback #3: in Lenny's recollection]''
:'''Little Josh''': Hey.
:'''Little Drake''': Hey.
:'''Little Josh''': I'm Josh.
:'''Little Drake''': Drake.
:'''Little Josh''': I'm gonna buy a foam finger.
:'''Little Drake''': Me too.
:'''Little Josh''': Cool.
:'''Lenny''': Next in line.
:'''Little Josh:''' Hey, you're up.
:''[two little girls walk up behind the boys]''
:'''Little Girl''': Hi, is it okay if we cut in front of you?
:'''Little Drake''': Cool with you?
:'''Little Josh''': Sure.
:'''Little Drake''': Go ahead.
:'''Little Josh''': You know, my dad's a weatherman.
:'''Little Drake''': My mom loves weathermen.
:'''Little Girl''': Thanks. Bye. ''[She and the other little girl leave]''
:'''Little Drake''': One foam finger, please.
:'''Lenny''': O... kay, it looks like you got the last one.
:'''Little Josh''': Aw, that's the last foam finger?
:'''Little Drake''': I'm really sorry.
:'''Little Josh''': Daddy! ''[little Megan throws the cookie at Josh's head]'' Aaah! You thumped me.
:'''Little Drake''': No, I didn't.
:''[they both start fighting again for the last foam finger]''
:'''Lenny''': Cops! Cops!
:''[they continue fighting until the cops show up as Lenny's recollection ends]''
:'''Josh''': So... it was Megan who started the fight.
:'''Lenny''': That's right. She threw the cookie.
:'''Megan''': Wow. I was even cool then! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Drake''' I wonder what it's gonna be like when we're 80. 
:'''Josh''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah. 
:''[They imagine themselves as 80-year-olds, all old and cranky]'' 
:'''Elderly Josh''': I am starving. ''[blows on his in-haller; an elderly Megan comes to bring them their bowls of food]'' Starving! 
:'''Elderly Drake''': Yeah, where's Megan with our dinna? 
:'''Both''': Megaaaaan! 
:'''Elderly Megan''': I'm comin', I'm comin'! Drake, here's your oatmeal. Josh, here's your cream of wheat. ''[gives them their bowls]'' Boobs! ''[walks away]'' 
:'''Elderly Josh''': Wait! Wait-wait, I wanted the oatmeal. 
:'''Elderly Drake''':  No, you asked for the cream of wheat. 
:'''Elderly Josh''': You gimme that oatmeal! 
:''' Elderly Drake''': Over my dead body! 
:'''Elderly Josh''': Fine! I can wait 5 minutes. 
:'''Elderly Drake''': That's it! I'm eatin' on the other side of the room. ''[gets up]'' 
:'''Elderly Josh''': Well, who needs ya? ''[gets up cracking his back, as Megan secretly throws a cookie at him and quickly escapes]'' You threw somethin' at me! 
:'''Elderly Drake''': That's a lie!  
:'''Elderly Josh''': It is on!  
:'''Elderly Drake''': Oh, it's on! 
:'''Elderly Josh''': It's go time! 
:'''Elderly Drake''': I'll show you go time!  
:'''Elderly Josh''': I am comin' at you, fastest lighting!  
:''[both fight until they fall asleep on the couch]''

===Girl Power===
:'''Drake''': I was thinking how could I date a girl who's tougher than me? But Josh told me I was just being dumb.
:'''Lucy''': Yeah. So now you're cool with it?
:'''Drake''': Cool with what?
:'''Lucy''': Dating a girl that's tougher than you.
:'''Drake''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay you are not tougher than me, that football player just caught me off guard.
:'''Lucy''': ''[laughing]'' Okay, whatever you say.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
D 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Josh''': ''[incredibly furious]'' You see what you do? One night. One night, I ask you to help me and you ruin it!
:'''Drake''': Josh.
:'''Josh''': ''[incredibly furious]'' Looks I-I told you how important this was to me. I told you that this was my last chance to impress Mindy's parents. I-I spent like two days working on this dinner and I spent like 300 bucks on a dumb harpist, who at this point, SHOULD STOP PLAYING! ''[the harpist stops playing]'' And I don't even care what you think of Mindy, alright? Because she is the best thing that ever happened to me and I can't date her anymore because you wrecked it! Alright, y-y-you you wrecked my dinner, you wrecked my $100 ice sculpture, and you wrecked my relationship!
:'''Drake''': Y-You spent $100 on ice? ''[Josh attacks him]''

===Sheep Thrills===
:''[Drake and Josh find a sheep in the garage during the middle of the night]''
:'''Josh''': What up with the sheep?
:'''Megan''': ''[comes in the garage]'' Why are you guys in the garage? Did you hurt my sheep?
:'''Drake''': This thing's yours?
:'''Megan''': Yes, he's mine. Are you okay Baaahhb?
:'''Josh''': His name is Bob?
:'''Megan''': No, he's a sheep, his name is Baaahhb!
:'''Drake''': It's not Bob, it's Baaahhb. ''[Josh stares at him]''
:'''Josh''': Yes, I get it. Here's a crazy question, where'd you get a sheep?
:'''Megan''': I bought him on the internet.
:'''Josh''': Oh excuse me for not being familiar with the sheepstore.com.
:'''Drake''': I thought mom and dad said you can't have a pet.
:'''Megan''': No, they said I couldn't have a cat. They said nothing about a sheep.
:'''Josh''': Well when mom and dad find Baaahhb, you're going to be in some big time trouble little girl.
:'''Megan''': No, they're not gonna find it because you two are gonna hide them in your room.
:'''Josh''': Oh really.
:'''Drake''': And what makes you think we're gonna do that?
:'''Megan''': Well, if you two hide him, just till I figure out a way to explain to mom and dad.
:'''Josh''': Yeah.
:'''Drake''': What?
:'''Megan''': I promise not to pull any pranks on you for 3 months.
:''[Drake and Josh both gasp]''
:'''Josh''': For real?
:'''Drake''': You swear.
:'''Megan''': Swear.
:'''Josh''': Think about it.
:'''Drake''': A world where Megan doesn't do bad things to us.
:''[Drake and Josh both have a dream set at a garden where Megan happily throws flowers at them and dance together]''
:'''Drake and Josh''': We'll do it.
:'''Megan''': Excellent.
:'''Drake''': But just for a few days.
:'''Megan''': That's all I need. Now you take Baaahhb up to your room and make him comfortable. ''[she gives her pet sheep to Drake and Josh]'' And uh, be sure he has plenty of water. Night! ''[leaves the garage]''
:'''Josh''': Alright, we should take Bob up to our-
:'''Drake''': It's Baaahhb!
:''[Josh sprays on Drake's face to make him hush]''

&lt;hr width=50/&gt;
Oh, my god! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Drake and Josh feel tried and go upstairs as they bring Baaahhb up to their room when they tried to avoid showing it to Audrey and Walter]''
:'''Josh''': ''[tried]'' Oh, we did it.
:'''Drake''': ''[tried, picks up the lamb]'' Yeah.
:'''Josh''': ''[tried]'' Yeah, come on. Come on. Alright. Now. Uh, you... ''[now awake]'' You stay here with the baby and Baaahhb. I'm gonna go downstairs and make sure mom and dad aren’t suspicious. ''[he opens the door and screams at Audrey and Walter who feels suspicious, much to his horror, he closes the door in front of them and runs up to Drake as he feels shocked]'' THEY'RE SUSPICIOUS!
:''[Audrey and Walter come inside Drake and Josh's room and find two sheep in their room thinking they had cause all the trouble they've done]''
:'''Audrey''': Well, we came up here to ask why you guys are acting so strange tonight.
:'''Walter''': But, uh, maybe a better question would be: Um, why do you have two sheep in your room?
:'''Josh''': Like technically, a little one is called a lamb.
:'''Walter''': Josh.
:'''Drake''': You, alright, this is all Megan's fault!
:'''Audrey''': Here we go again.
:'''Josh''': No, it is. Oh, go, okay, she bought the big one online.
:'''Drake''': And then it gave birth on my bed.
:'''Josh''': ''[whining]'' No, I'm really upset!
:'''Walter''': Ok. So you want us to believe that a sweet little 11-year-old girl somehow managed to go on the internet and buy herself a pregnant sheep.
:'''Josh''': It does sound unlikely.
:'''Drake''': It's true!
:'''Josh''': It's true!
:'''Megan''': ''[comes home from oboe practice and goes inside Drake and Josh's room]'' Hey, what's going on?
:'''Drake''': Ha! Now she could tell you herself.
:'''Josh''': Yeah. You put down your oboe and tell them what they did!
:'''Megan''': What are you guys talking-? ''[sees a sheep in Drake and Josh's room and drops her oboe]'' Wow! A sheep! How cute! ''[gives a sheep a hug]'' Oh. Where'd you guys get him?
:''[Audrey and Walter stare at Drake and Josh]''
:'''Josh''': ''[worried]'' What? You got-you-you know good and well.
:'''Drake''': How long are we grounded?
:'''Audrey''': A month.
:'''Josh''': Fair enough.
:''[Audrey and Walter are both satisfied that Drake and Josh are both grounded for one month, the lamb baas and Megan hugs a sheep]''

===Megan's New Teacher===
:'''Adam''': ''[while having a college textbook on his desk]'' This is a college textbook!
:'''Josh''': I know
:'''Megan''': Yo, boob.
:'''Josh''': Excuse me, Megan, I'm your teacher!
:'''Megan''': Sorry, Mr. Boob. This stuff is way to hard for us.
:''[the kids mumble]''
:'''Josh''': Sh! Alright, look, I believe that kids are way more capable then your giving credit for.
:'''Boy''': Kevin's eating glue!
:'''Josh''': ''[takes the glue away from Kevin]'' Don't you know your not supposed to eat glue!?
:''[Kevin mumbles with his mouth full of glue]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
D 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Josh''': ''[with German accent]'' Alright, I am a very famous person. Who am I?
:'''Katie''': A hobo?
:'''Josh''': No. Hobos aren't famous. Now, here's the hint. I am a famous scientist.
:'''Neil''': Harry Potter.
:'''Josh''': No. Harry Potter is a wizard. Think. I am a ''German'' scientist.
:'''Adam''': A hobo!
:'''Josh''': ''[in his normal accent]'' Dude, I'm Albert Einstein! You should know this from your homework last night.
:'''Megan''': I told you, we weren't doing it.
:'''Josh''': Wait a minute. None of you did your homework?
:'''Katie''': I tried to, but I couldn't figure it out, so I asked my mom to help me.
:'''Josh''': And?
:'''Katie''': She couldn't figure it out, either. So, she asked my dad, and then he got mad and went to a motel.

===Little Sibling===
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': Good morning, adulessons. Please take your seats. Taylor, take off your headphones or I will sell them on the internet. ''[looks at the empty seat]'' We have an empty seat, who's not here?
:'''Becca''': ''[runs up to Mrs. Hayfer]'' Mrs. Hayfer, the lunch ladies are fighting again.
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': What is it about sloppy joe day that makes those women so violent? ''[as she leaves]'' Helga? Helga?!
:'''Josh''': So what are the lunch ladies fighting about?
:'''Becca''': Oh, they're not fighting.
:'''Josh''': Why'd you tell Mrs. Hayfer they were fighting?
:'''Drake''': ''[walks in]'' Thank you, Becca.
:'''Josh''': Of course.
:'''Drake''': And how could I ever repay you?
:'''Becca''': I think you can guess. ''[Drake and Becca kiss on the lips]'' Let me know if you need more help.
:'''Drake''': Let me know if you need more Drake. ''[Becca walks away]'' Oh, and Josh, you left your ointment at home.
:'''Josh''': Is nothing personal?
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': Well, the lunch ladies were not fighting and I don't know why those girls called- ''[sees Drake sitting down]'' Drake Parker, were you here when I left?
:'''Drake''': Oh, oh, yeah, totally. You probably didn't see me because I had my face buried in this book.
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': Are you lying to me Drake?
:'''Drake''': Would I lie to you?
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': Let me think, yes. But I know someone who never lies. ''[walks over to Josh]'' Josh? Was Drake on time to my class today?
:'''Josh''': Um, you know, what is time? When you think about it because Einstein theorized that time actually-
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': Josh! 
:'''Josh''': ''[whines]'' No, he wasn't here on time.
:'''Drake''': Josh!
:'''Josh''': ''[whines]'' Tell that girl to come in here so you'd have to leave so he could to sneak into class. I'm sorry, I can't lie. If you murder me in my sleep tonight I'd appreciate you doing it in a way that's not painful. ''[whines]'' IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? ''[ends up getting a scary emotion]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Drake''': ''[enters the Premiere and walks up to Sammy]'' Sammy, what are you doing? I'm thirsty here. Oh, and guess who just walked in. Two 9's and a 10.
:'''Sammy''': Who cares about girls?
:'''Drake''': ''[gasps]'' Sammy, don't ever say that. ''[grabs Sammy]'' Come on, we have a lot to do.
:'''Sammy''': No, I wanna stay here with Josh!
:'''Drake''': What?
:'''Sammy''': I want him to be my big sibling!
:''[Josh coughs as Mrs. Hayfer walks over]''
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': Very, very, interesting.
:'''Drake''': Mrs. Hayfer, what are you doing out in public?
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': Apparently, watching you, fail miserably. Josh, would you take Sammy to the nurse for a moment?
:'''Josh''': There's no nurse here-
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': TO THE NURSE!
:'''Josh''': Come on, Sammy! ''[he and Sammy run off]''
:'''Drake''': Mrs. Hayfer, I can explain.
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': Drake, we had a deal. You stay out of remedial English as long as your Sammy's big sibling but if Sammy prefers Josh, well I think we know what will happen to you.
:''[Drake has a dream sequence of a class with lack of discipline that includes poorly behaved students, a vicious dog named Cuddles that's controlled by a mean kid, and 2 Gothic love starved Bartleby sisters trying to kiss him]''
:'''Drake''': Okay, okay, just give me one day and I promise Sammy will love me.
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': Make sure it happens. ''[walks away but stops for a little bit to talk to Drake]'' Oh, and Drake. Guess what?
:'''Drake''': What?
:'''Mrs. Hayfer''': I hate you.
:'''Drake''': I know.

===Theater Thug===
:''[Megan and Josh enters Drake and Josh's room]''
:'''Megan''': I so don't want to do this! 
:'''Josh''': Come on! Just work with me for ten minutes! 
:'''Drake''': What are you guys doing? 
:'''Megan''': He wants me to help him rehearse his lines for FBI's Most Wanted. 
:'''Drake''': ''[to Josh]'' Dude, you are taking this acting thing way too seriously! 
:'''Josh''': I just want to be good, alright? 
:'''Drake''': It's acting, you show up, you say some stuff, you go home, anyone could do it. 
:'''Josh''': Okay Megan, when I walk through the door, just react naturally to what I say. ''[he leaves the room]'' Megan, you ready? 
:'''Megan''': Wait, let me go over my line. ''[looks at her script]'' What? Okay, I'm ready! 
:'''Josh''': Drake, yell action! 
:'''Drake''': ''[unenthusiastically, while playing some notes on his guitar]'' Action. 
:'''Josh''': ''[walks through the door]'' Where's the money? 
:'''Megan''': What? 
:'''Josh''': Where's the money? You give me the money, I ain't playing! ''[Megan giggles]'' Oh come on! You can't giggle! 
:'''Megan''': You said to react naturally. You tried to act tough so naturally I laughed.
:'''Josh''': Okay, don't react naturally, act the way you would if I was a big scary robber. ''[leaves the room]'' Drake! 
:'''Drake''': ''[unenthusiastically, while playing some notes on his guitar]'' Action. 
:'''Josh''': ''[walks through the door]'' Where's the money? 
:'''Megan''': What? 
:'''Josh''': Where's the money? You give me the money, I ain't playing! 
:'''Megan''': There's a cop behind you. 
:'''Josh''': ''[turns around]'' What cop? ''[Megan pushes him through the door and locks it]'' Megan! Open this door! Alright, fine! I'll just bust it down! ''[tries to get in, but he falls to the floor]'' Never mind...
:''[Drake and Megan laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
D 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Drake''': Come on.
:'''Josh''': I feel like an idiot.
:'''Drake''': You look fine.
:'''Josh''': ''[he walks out, wearing a hippie disguise]'' I look so stupid.
:'''Drake''': So, at least you're not gettin' beat up or arrested.
:'''Josh''': I guess. What it ease? People are staring at me.
:'''Drake''': So, just ignore 'em. at least it's working.
:'''Man''': Hey, it's the Theater Thug!
:'''Josh''': No, no, no!
:'''Man''': And he's wearing a hippie disguise!
:'''Josh''': No, no! See, my name is Antoine. How are you...
:'''Old Lady''': Don't let him get away!
:'''Josh''': ''[being crowded]'' I'm--no, I'm not the guy! hey, It's not me! I'm... ''[whistles blows]'' Wait, wait! ''[dragged by the police]'' I'm not the guy! You've got the--No! ''[sputtering]'' I'm not--I'm not the guy! No! tell him I'm not the guy! He went that way! He went--''[dragged by the police again]'' I'm not the guy!

===The Demonator===
:''[Drake and Josh get ready to ride The Demonator as they leave the house]''
:'''Josh''': Hi, parents.
:'''Drake''': Bye, parents.
:'''Walter''': ''[stops the boys from leaving]'' Woah, woah, woah, woah. Where do you boys think you're going?
:'''Drake''': Uh, to make history.
:'''Josh''': We're going to ride The Demonator.
:'''Audrey''': No, you promised that you'd stay here and watch Papa Nichols.
:'''Drake''': Ugh, fine. Here, come on, he can come with us. Come on, Josh, grab his feet.
:'''Josh''': Why do I always have to grab the feet?
:''[Drake lifts Papa Nichols' shoulders while Josh lifts his feet]''
:'''Walter''': Guys, you can't take your great-grandfather to ride The Demonator.
:'''Josh''': Sure we can.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, you only have to be this tall. ''[he puts his hand about yay high]''
:'''Walter''': The man just had surgery, and he's heavily medicated.
:'''Drake''': Oh, come on, he fought in World War II.
:'''Josh''': The Demonator is nothing for a man who's seen combat!
:'''Audrey''': Okay, listen to my words. You boys are going to stay here and take care of Papa Nichols, are we clear?
:'''Josh''': Yes.
:'''Drake''': Fine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[while Drake, Josh, and Megan are out riding the Demonator, Craig and Eric are at home watching Papa Nichols]''
:'''Craig''': Drake said he'd be asleep all night.
:'''Papa Nichols''': ''[wakes up]'' Oh, where am I? What's happened?
:'''Eric''': He's disoriented.
:'''Papa Nichols''': What did you call me?
:'''Eric''': Oh. Uh, nothing, sir. I was just uhh...
:'''Papa Nichols''': What have you done with the rest of my unit?
:'''Craig''': What does he mean, his unit?
:''[Papa Nichols picks up his slipper]''
:'''Eric''': I guess he thinks he's back in World War II.
:'''Papa Nichols''': ''[uses his slipper as a walkie-talkie]'' General Patton, sir. It's Sergeant Nichols. I've just been captured by two German nerds!
:'''Eric''': Oh. No, no, sir. We're not Germans.
:'''Papa Nichols''': That's just what a German would say!
:'''Eric''': No, no, no. You don't understand...
:'''Papa Nichols''': No, no. You will not capture me. ''[bonks Eric in the head]'' Ever!
:'''Craig''': Eric!
:'''Papa Nichols''': ''[mumbling]'' Get outta here! ''[Craig screams as Papa Nichols throws him over the couch]'' USA! USA! USA! ''[starts running off]'' USA! USA! USA! USA!
:''[after Papa Nichols leaves, Craig and Eric are sitting on the floor feeling themselves in pain]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Walter''': Papa Nichols. Papa Nichols. Wake up. It's time to- ''[Papa Nichols punches him in the face and knocks him out]
''

===Alien Invasion===
:''[Drake turns on the radio while Josh is doing homework]''
:'''Josh''': Hey! Hey!
:'''Drake''': Oh, hey. Want some sandwich?
:'''Josh''': No! I'm trying to do my homework. Could you turn that off?!
:'''Drake''': ''[takes out his guitar and starts singing in blues]'' Oh cranky Josh, he is getting so cranky, so very cranky. ''[Josh brakes his pencil]'' And now he brakes things. Somebody could call to the pencil repayment.
:'''Josh''': Would you please stop that improvisation of blues tune? Don't you have homework to do?
:'''Drake''': My homework's already been taken care of. ''[gives his note to Josh]''
:'''Josh''': ''[reading Drake fake doctor's note]'' Please excuse Drake from his homework. He twisted his liver and is unable to read, write, or bathe. Yours truly, the doctor.
:'''Drake''': Wrote it myself!
:'''Josh''': Shouldn't the doctor have a name?
:'''Drake''': Oh, yes. Here, gimme that. Bob! &quot;Bob, the Doctor&quot;. Yeah?
:'''Josh''': Oh yeah, yeah! That is perfect!
:'''Drake''': Cool!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Josh''': Hey, she out there?
:'''Drake''': Yep, she keeps looking up in the sky wondering where the aliens are.
:'''Josh''': Perfect, alright. Come here, now this is the ham radio.
:'''Drake''': Mmm, ham radio.
:'''Josh''': Now we just talk into this mic and we sound like aliens.
:'''Drake''': Oh cool gimme it. Bonjour Si' te plait. ''[Josh takes the mic]''
:'''Josh''': We're supposed to sound like we're from outer space, NOT PARIS!
:'''Drake''': You know there's a way to correct people nicely. 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
That’s right, little girl!

===Dr. Phyllis Show===
:''[Megan comes in Drake and Josh's room while Drake and Josh are still arguing together]''
:'''Megan''': Hey! Hey! HEY!
:'''Josh''': What?
:'''Megan''': It is 11:45 PM and I am a little girl. Little girls are suppose to be asleep by 11:45 PM. Now, this is the third night in a row that you clowns kept me up in a fight. ''[Drake and Josh began fighting]'' HEY! Here! ''[gives Drake and Josh tickets]''
:'''Josh''': What are these?
:'''Megan''': Tickets to the ''Dr. Phyllis Show''. You guys are both going tomorrow after school. The topic is Bickering Brothers. Now, I'm going to go back to sleep and I don't want to hear another sound from this room. ''[leaves Drake and Josh's room]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[after all of Drake and Josh's flashbacks from the previous Season 3 episodes we're shown]''
:'''Dr. Phyllis''': Unbelievable!
:'''Drake and Josh''': I know.
:'''Dr. Phyllis''': Bickering is one thing, but you two should be ashamed of yourselves for allowing it to escalate to physical confutations.  
:'''Josh''': No! I will not share the blame here. I am the victim of this relationship.
:'''Drake''': How are you the victim?
:'''Josh''': You always take advantage of me.
:'''Drake''': Ha!
:'''Dr. Phyllis''': Drake, come on honestly. Do you ever take advantage of Josh just a little bit?
:'''Josh''': Well, but not just me. He takes advantage of everyone.
:'''Drake''': Oh, name one time.
:'''Josh''': Okay, uhh. That girl Liza.
:'''Drake''': Hot Liza?
:'''Josh''': Yeah, you totally dated her just to get your old girlfriend back.
:'''Drake''': That's an exasperation!
:'''Josh''': Exaggeration, read a book, would ya!? 
:'''Drake''': No!
:'''Dr. Phyllis''': Josh, tell me a little bit more about Drake and this girl hot Liza.
:'''Josh''': I'm glad, too. See, Drake could have just broken up with this girl Tori. But he wanted her back. So, he thought to make her jealous by making out with this hot girl Liza.
:'''Dr. Phyliss''': Drake, is this story true?
:'''Drake''': Yeah, but I totally learned my lesson. Let me tell ya, Liza Tupper, worst kisser ever!
:'''Josh''': I have heard that.
:'''Dr. Phyllis''': Liza Tupper?
:'''Drake''': Yeah, and she's not the smartest won-ton on the poo-poo platter either if you know what I'm saying!
:'''Dr. Phyllis''': You're saying she's dumb?
:'''Drake''': And a bad kisser!
:'''Dr. Phyllis''': ''[anger rising]'' Liza Tupper happens to be my daughter!
:'''Drake''': ''[gets up]'' Oh, this is awkward.
:''[Dr. Phyllis gets up and gets mad at Drake as she attacks him, then attacks Josh when he tries to stop her]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
Shall we resinmise? 
Let’s.

==External links==

{{wikipedia|Drake &amp; Josh}}

[[Category:Drake &amp; Josh seasons]]
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[Drake &amp; Josh/Season 1|1]] [[Drake &amp; Josh/Season 2|2]] [[Drake &amp; Josh/Season 3|3]] [[Drake &amp; Josh/Season 4|4]] | [[Drake &amp; Josh|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:Drake &amp; Josh|Drake &amp; Josh]]''''' is an American television sitcom created by Dan Schneider for Nickelodeon. The series follows the lives of two teenage boys with opposite personalities, Drake Parker (Drake Bell) and Josh Nichols (Josh Peck), who are stepbrothers.

===Josh Runs Into Oprah===
:''[Megan opens up Josh's birthday cake]''
:'''Josh''': You made me a birthday cake?
:'''Megan''': Uh-huh. Mom gave me the recipe. I think it turned out pretty good. There.
:'''Josh''': Wow! This is really full of poison, isn't it?
:'''Megan''': No!
:'''Josh''': No, what then, huh, huh, huh, hot sauce some kind of extreme laxident?
:'''Megan''': Oh, c'mon! I wouldn't let you eat a cake that make you sick on your birthday.
:'''Josh''': I'm sorry.
:'''Megan''': It's okay. Make a wish. ''[Josh blows out the birthday candles from his cake as it exploded and he turns around to Megan as he had cake pieces on his face when she pranked him]'' I didn't say it wouldn't explode!
:'''Josh''': I don't blame you so much for doing it, as I blame myself for not anticipating it.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
Hey, watch it, watch it!!! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Josh angrily comes home from the hospital after Drake pranked the whole hospital thinking Josh has a virus, which in return, causes him to get a chemical bath]''
:'''Drake''': Hey, man.
:'''Josh''': ''HEY, MAN''?!
:'''Drake''': Hey... man?
:'''Josh''': You left me at hospital to be chemicaLY bathed!
:'''Drake''': Oh, yeah, how'd it go?
:'''Josh''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, actually, it was quite soothing especially the part where they...OH, IT WAS HORRIBLE!!
:'''Drake''': Kay, what up with the 'tude?
:'''Josh''': D'you know what its like to get an involuntry chemical bath? it stings...''EVERYWHERE''!
:'''Drake''': Alright, look. Tell you what, I'm going to make up to you, okay?
:'''Josh''': No. Okay, no you're not, because that's when the badness happens. The only time you do anything nice to me is after you caused me some kind of physical damage or emotional distress! You are never going to make up anything to me ever again!
:'''Drake''': Wait, do these sound okay to you? ''[Drake plays his Bongos for Josh to try to cheer him up, but Josh rips the taped up Bongos then leaves]'' Would you bring me the hot glue gun?
:'''Josh''': NOT REALLY! ''[slams the door]''

===Vicious Tiberius===
:''[Drake and Josh found out that their dad did not answer the phone because he was working out at home singing]''
:'''Drake''': Well?
:'''Josh''': No answer.
:'''Drake''': You probably dialed the wrong number. Let me see it--
:'''Josh''': No, I think I know our own number.
:'''Drake''': Dude, just let me try-- ''[he and Josh both fight with Josh's phone and it lands in the toilet]'' Nice! ''[sees Josh's phone in the toilet]''
:'''Josh''': It's your fault. Go get it.
:'''Drake''': I'm not putting my hand in there! That's where Mrs. Hayfer pees!
:'''Josh''': Probably doesn't even work anymore.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, well, let's see. ''[flushes Josh's phone away]'' It still works.
:'''Josh''': I knew the toilet still worked, Drake. I MEANT MY PHONE!
:'''Drake''': Oh, well, that's gone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Megan''': ''[offscreen]'' Hello? Anybody home?
:'''Josh''': Who's that?
:'''Drake''': It sounds like Megan.
:'''Megan''': ''[offscreen]'' Drake? Josh?
:'''Josh''': That ''is'' Megan, how does she know? Oh, no, she's outside with Tiberius!
:'''Drake''': Oh, he'll eat her alive!
:'''Josh''': C'mon! ''[tries to open the door but Drake puts his foot on the door]'' Dude!
:'''Drake''': ''[blocks the door]'' Well, just 'cause she gets eaten, doesn't mean we have to.
:'''Josh''': That's our little sister out there, we've gotta help her!
:'''Drake''': Alright.
:'''Josh''': C'mon. ''[he and Drake come out of the bathroom and see Megan in the living room with Tiberius behaving and loud whispers]'' Megan! Run!
:'''Megan''': I don't wanna run.
:'''Drake''': ''[loud whisper]'' But he's vicious.
:'''Megan''': Yeah, he's real vicious. Ooh, down, boy. You're so scary.
:''[Drake and Josh walk by to her]''
:'''Josh''': I don't get it. Well, he's all calm.
:'''Drake''': Evil dog, evil girl. Makes perfect sense.
:'''Megan''': Where have you 2 been? You were supposed to pick me up 2 hours ago.
:'''Josh''': How'd you know we were here?
:'''Megan''': Dad said you were stopping here and then picking me up, which you didn't.
:'''Josh''': We couldn't.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, we were trapped here by this demon dog.
:'''Megan''': What're you talking about?
:'''Josh''': When you're not around, he goes all berserk and tries to kill us.
:'''Megan''': Really?
:'''Drake and Josh''': Yeah/Uh-huh.
:'''Megan''': See ya.
:''[when Megan leaves the house, she made Drake and Josh suffer against Tiberius because she's satisfied about that and doesn't care since they told her everything about Tiberius]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
What, you’ve never seen a man wielding on a toilet?

===The Wedding===
:''[Opening comments: Drake and Josh talk about how unpleasant their great aunt Catherine is and both are in agreement that she is quite unpleasant]''
:'''Josh''': So, me and Drake have this Great Aunt Catherine.
:'''Drake''': Have you ever met my Great Aunt Catherine? No? Well, hey. Lucky you.
:'''Josh''': She's almost 90 years old.
:'''Drake''': She's like 90,000 years old.
:'''Josh''': She's not nice!
:'''Drake''': She is mean. ''[gets closer to the viewers]'' Mean to the ''bone''!
:'''Josh''': Something's not right about Aunt Catherine.
:'''Drake''': She collects hair... from people she doesn't even know well!
:'''Josh''': Oh, and get this.
:'''Drake and Josh''': Aunt Catherine's getting married!
:'''Josh''': I mean, who wants to get married at 89 years old?
:'''Drake''': You know, Josh and I disagree on a lot of stuff, but I bet he hates Aunt Catherine just as much as I do.
:'''Josh''': I wonder if Drake hates Aunt Catherine as much as I do. ''[turns to Drake]'' Do ya?
:'''Drake''': Totally.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Josh''': Why are you in such a hurry?
:'''Drake''': 'Cause I want Aunt Catherine's beach house, bad.
:'''Josh''': Yeah, so do I.
:'''Drake''': Well, we can't be late for the wedding, and we have to pick up the cake.
:'''Josh''': Dude, we got plenty of time, alright? Just as long as we get to the bakery before... ''[notices his laptop case gone]'' Hey, have you seen my laptop case? I thought I left it right here.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, I gave it to Craig and Eric.
:'''Josh''': You... You what?!
:'''Drake''': They told me you said it was cool.
:'''Josh''': Yeah, I said it was cool for 'em to borrow my computer, but why'd you give them the whole case? It had my cell phone in it and my keys to Mom's SUV! Now we have no car!
:'''Drake''': Well, I'll just call Craig and Eric and tell them to come back.
:'''Josh''': No, we can't. They don't have cell phones.
:'''Drake''': Why?
:'''Josh''': 'Cause Papa Nichols threw Eric's against the wall and broke it, and Craig's mom thinks cell phones cause ear sores!
:'''Drake''': Craig does get a lot of ear sores.
:'''Josh''': Look, we cannot be late to this wedding!
:'''Drake''': Right, okay, um... Trevor!
:'''Josh''': What about Trevor?
:'''Drake''': We'll borrow his car.
:'''Josh''': His girlfriend sleeps in it.
:'''Drake''': No, they broke up. She sleeps in some other guy's car now.
:'''Josh''': I don't wanna go to a wedding in Trevor's El Camino, it's old and gross.
:'''Drake''': So is Aunt Catherine.
:'''Josh''': Drake, if we--
:'''Drake''': Look, it runs, and the wedding cake will fit in the back. And the most important thing is it'll get us there on time. ''[starts calling Trevor on the phone]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
Fried chicken?

===Mindy Loves Josh===
:'''Josh''': What do you want?
:'''Megan''': There's a couple of guys outside stealing  your bike.
:'''Josh''': Oh I just moved the chain, HANDS OFF MY RIDE! ''[runs outside]'' Hey!
:'''Mindy''': Maybe, I should have call the police.
:'''Megan''': Nah, no ones stealing his bike.
:'''Mindy''': What did you tell him that for? You got him all upset for nothing.
:'''Megan''': Yeah. 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
Mindy: I love you. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Megan comes inside Drake and Josh's room and tells Drake her truth after making his hands green (when she saw Drake eating her cookie)]''
:'''Drake''': Oh, it's you. Close the door!
:'''Megan''': ''[closes the door and walks up to Drake]'' What's going on?
:'''Drake''': Swear not to tell mom and dad?
:'''Megan''': Swear.
:'''Drake''': Well, I've have this rare skin disease called dermatameculitis.
:'''Megan''': ''[gasps]'' Oh my god! Are you okay?
:'''Drake''': I will be. See, I read online that you can cure it by soaking in zipholic acid which is in lizard pee.
:'''Megan''': Or you know there is another cure.
:'''Drake''': What?
:'''Megan''': Next time, don't eat my big cookie.
:'''Drake''': What are you saying?
:'''Megan''': I tricked you into thinking you have a rare skin disease by dying your hands and feet green while you slept and that you were stupid enough to actually fall for it and stick your hands and feet in buckets in lizard pee. That what I'm saying.
:'''Drake''': Megan!
:'''Megan''': You have a little somethin' on your upper lip.
:''[Drake touches his upper lip with his green hand and suffers from it as Megan leaves his and Josh's room]''
:'''Drake''': Wait!
:'''Megan''': What?
:'''Drake''': Is it gone?
:''[Megan leaves the room]''

===Who's Got Game?===
:'''Carly''': ''[walks up to Drake]'' Help you find something?
:'''Drake''': Oh no, I got- ''[turns to see her]'' No, I got it.
:'''Carly''': Sparks, nice. Yes, I saw them live last week at &quot;The Phyton&quot;.
:'''Drake''': No way, I was there.
:'''Carly''': Oh, yeah, you were that guy in the crowd listening.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, that was me!
:'''Carly''': I was kidding.
:'''Drake''': Me, too.
:'''Carly''': Come on, I'll ring you up.
:'''Drake''': Okay.
:''[they both walk up to the cashier's desk]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
I was part of a bet? 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Josh''': ''[walks up to Drake]'' Well, while you keep kissing your new girlfriend, I'm going to go back home and move my special pillow onto your bed.
:'''Drake''': What? ''[turns around to Josh]''
:'''Josh''': Well, I've had 22 dates this you week and you've only had one.
:'''Drake''': Okay, yeah. I guess you get my bed. Alright, you win.
:'''Josh''': I win? I GOT MORE GIRLS THAN DRAKE!! ''[laughs]'' JOSH NICHOLS IS NO LONGER A LITTLE CATERPILLAR, AH, HE IS A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY!! ''[flaps wings for a while then stops out of embarrassment]'' See you guys at home. ''[walks away]''

===The Great Doheny===
:'''Josh''': Uh, Megan. This is Henry Doheny. I'm gonna go make him a sandwich with some crinko cup fries and you keep him company. ''[runs off to make Doheny his sandwich]''
:'''Megan''': Henry Doheny. Didn't you use to be like a really famous magician?
:'''Henry Doheny''': Hmmm. ''[pretends to think]''  Why don't you, reach into, ''[points to trash can and Megan looks at it]'' that decorative trash can and tell me.
:'''Megan''': ''[looks at him, searches through the trash-can, picks out old papers than a bunny, and gasps]'' A bunny!
:'''Henry Doheny''': Her name is Cookie, if you hold her close, she'll lick your nose.
:'''Megan''': ''[puts Cookie to her face and Cookie begins to lick her as she laughs]'' Oh my god, this is the cutest bunny I've ever seen! Can I keep her?
:'''Henry Doheny''': I insist!
:'''Megan''': Thanks! ''[goes to her room, admiring Cookie]''
:'''Henry Doheny''': ''[To Drake]'' Pick a card!
:'''Drake''': ''[picks a card]'' Now what?
:'''Henry Doheny''': Now, put it back. ''[Drake gives the card back and he takes the deck into his jacket]''
:'''Drake''': ''[looks at Doheny with a weird gaze]'' What's my card?
:'''Henry Doheny''': Cough. ''[Drake coughs out a card]'' Open it. ''[Drake does so and Doheny isn't even looking]'' Is that your card?
:'''Drake''': Yeah. Please do me a favor and don't make things come outta my body.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
How did I get in here? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Walter''': ''[looking himself in the mirror after Doheny made him bald]'' Ahh! Check me out! I'm bald. ''[leaving the room]'' Honey, Mr. Doheny made me bald!

===I Love Sushi===
:'''Josh''': Okay mom and dad. Here it comes.
:'''Drake''': Who's ready to go inside?
:'''Audrey''': What is up with you guys?
:'''Walter''': Yeah, you kept us out all day driving all over the city.
:'''Drake''': Get ready. ''[he opens the door as he, Josh, Walter, and Audrey come inside the house]''
:'''Drake and Josh''': HAPPY ANNIVERS- ''[they turn on the lights to reveal that the furniture in the living room has been stolen]'' -sery.
:'''Walter''': Drake?
:'''Audrey''': Josh!
:'''Walter''': Where's our stuff?
:'''Josh''': We've been robbed!
:'''Drake''': ''[curious]'' Surprise!
:''[Walter and Audrey both get shocked after all of the furniture from the living room disappeared]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Nadel''': Drake Parker. Josh Nichols. ''[Drake and Josh come in Mr. Nadel's office]'' What do you want?
:'''Josh''': We understand that you give people temporary jobs?
:'''Mr. Nadel''': So?
:'''Josh''': And we'd like one.
:'''Mr. Nadel''': And I'd like to meet with another woman who doesn't change her phone number after the first date.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, well good luck with that.
:'''Mr. Nadel''': Ok, what are your skills?
:'''Drake''': I play guitar and date girls.
:'''Josh''': Well, I'm an honor student. I'm pretty good with magic tricks, I can cook. Oh, in the 5th grade I was vote most polite child-
:'''Mr. Nadel''': ''[yells]'' NO! THAT'S ENOUGH! ''[in a normal voice]'' Well, let's see, I've got men's room attendant, ditch digger, or you could clean up after elephants at the zoo?
:'''Drake''': Wow, they all sound so wonderful.
:'''Josh''': Do you gave any jobs that are, you know... not repulsive?
:'''Drake''': Yeah, and we want one that pays a lot.
:'''Mr. Nadel''': Sure, and I wanna meet a woman who doesn't change her phone number after the first date.
:'''Josh''': You already said that.
:'''Mr. Nadel''': ''[yelling]'' '''WELL IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME! I MEAN WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!'''
:'''Drake''': We just want jobs.
:'''Mr. Nadel''': Alright look, I got two jobs working the line at a fish factory. Not glamorous enough for you?
:'''Josh''': Well, what would we have to do?
:'''Mr. Nadel''': You'd be assembling packages of sushi for distribution to local supermarkets. Pays 18 bucks an hour. Each.
:'''Josh''': Yeah, we'll take it.
:'''Mr. Nadel''': Good. Happy. Happy. Here's the address. Be there Saturday morning 8:00.
:'''Drake:''' 8:00?
:'''Josh''': We'll be there.
:'''Mr. Nadel''': Yeah, yeah.
:''[Drake and Josh leave Mr. Nadel's office; Nadel types in numbers on his phone from a piece of paper]''
:'''Phone''': The number you have reached has been disconnected
:'''Mr. Nadel''': ''[bangs on desk]'' EVERY TIME! Stupid lotion! ''[knocks a bottle of lotion on the floor]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
Speed it up a little!

===The Storm===
:''[Drake hits Eric in the chest and notices Lucy]''
:'''Eric''': Ow.
:'''Drake''': That's Lucy, my ex-girlfriend. Josh invited my ex-girlfriend?
:'''Eric''': Well, yeah. When we were going over the gas list, Josh said you and Lucy were still friends.
:'''Drake''': Well, we are, but I invited Carly. I can't have my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend at the same party. You want the universe to explode? Man, what am I gonna--? ''[hits Eric in the chest again and notices Christine]'' 
:'''Eric''': Ow!
:'''Drake''': Christine? How many of my ex-girlfriends are here?
:'''Eric''': Just those two. I hope. Or else I'm gonna need chest replacement surgery!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Drake''': ''[after being on the phone with Josh]'' That was Josh.
:'''Julio''': They cancelled the concert?
:'''Drake''': The whole stage is underwater.
:'''Gary''': My uncle's got a boat!
:'''Drake''': That's great, Gary. Why don't ya climb into your uncle's boat and SAIL OFF TO MORON ISLAND?!!! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
Crazy Steve: C’MON, DORA!!!

===My Dinner with Bobo===
:''[Drake and Josh and  Megan get a car]''
:'''Megan''': ''[looking at a car with tattooed flowers]'' Oh my god! I love this car! Let's buy this one!
:'''Drake''': Shall we harmonize?
:'''Josh''': Let's.
:'''Drake and Josh''': ''[singing]'' No!
:'''Megan''': Dad said I can help pick out the car.
:'''Drake''': Uh yes. And thank you for helping us decide we're not getting this one.
:'''Megan''': Don't push me.
:'''Stan the Car Man''': ''[appears and gets out of his cart]'' Well now, let me guess! You folks are looking for a car.
:'''Josh''': Hey, you're Stan the Car Man.
:'''Stan the Car Man''': The very same.
:'''Josh''': I know, I love your commercials. You need a car, you need a truck, you need a van! Come see Stan the Car Man!
:'''Drake''': Who sells trucks and vans.
:'''Stan the Car Man''': I don't like it when people imitate me.
:'''Josh''': I'm sorry.
:'''Drake''': I'm also sorry. ''[points at a monkey]'' Hey, Bobo! Aw, I love this guy! ''[picks up Bobo]''
:'''Stan the Car Man''': He seems to have taken a liking to you too!
:'''Drake''': Aw, he's awesome.
:'''Megan''': Yeah, maybe he can tutor you in math.
:'''Stan the Car Man''': How much were you boys hoping to spend in this vehicle?
:'''Drake''': About $2400.
:'''Stan the Car Man''': $2400. About what car did you had in mind?
:'''Josh''': Something safe.
:'''Drake''': Something fast.
:'''Josh''': Gets good mileage.
:'''Drake''': It's gotta have satellite radio.
:'''Josh''': Heated seats would be nice.
:'''Stan the Car Man''': Huh?
:'''Josh''': I get cold down there.
:'''Megan''': Look! No one is interested in your butt temperature problems.
:'''Josh''': Dr. Fish bum is.
:'''Drake''': Look, can you just show us something we can afford?
:'''Stan the Car Man''': Well, I surely can. Right over there!
:'''Josh''': Alright.
:'''Drake''': Come on. ''[he and Josh walk away]''
:'''Stan the Car Man''': Butt temperature problems?
:'''Megan''': He's a mess. ''[she and Stan the Car Man walk away too]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Drake and Josh come inside Dr. Favershim's apartment to rescue Bobo]''
:'''Dr. Favershim''': Come in.
:'''Drake''': We are in.
:'''Josh''': Yeah. And we want Bobo back.
:'''Dr. Favershim''': I'm sorry, we had a deal. $10,000 for your delicious friends.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, well deal's off.
:'''Josh''': So just take your check back and give us Bobo.
:'''Dr. Favershim''': Are you sure?
:'''Josh''': Absolutely.
:'''Dr. Favershim''': Very well, Bobo is in the back of the closet right over there. You may fetch him.
:'''Josh''': Back of the closet?
:'''Dr. Favershim''': Good.
:'''Josh''': Come on dude, let's go get him.
:'''Drake''': Whoa? Is he in here?
:'''Josh''': Perhaps.
:'''Drake''': In the coat, where is he?
:''[when Dr. Favershim locked Drake and Josh in the closet so he could eat Bobo, Drake and Josh yell inside the closet in order to get out after Dr. Favershim pranked them]''
:'''Dr. Favershim''': I'm sorry boys, but I can't let you interfere with my dinner plans. ''[takes off the curtain off of Bobo's cage]'' Hello, little friend. I hope you have good taste.
:'''Josh''': ''[inside the closet]'' You open the door or we're gonna call the cops!
:'''Drake''': ''[inside the closet]'' Yeah, we have a cellphone in here!
:'''Dr. Favershim''': You have no cellphone.
:'''Josh''': ''[inside the closet]'' Do too!
:'''Dr. Favershim''': Prove it.
:'''Josh''': ''[inside the closet]'' How?
:'''Dr. Favershim''': Play me a ringtone.
:''[Josh plays a ringtone on his phone from the closet]''
:'''Drake''': ''[inside the closet]'' See? I told ya we got a cellphone!
:'''Dr. Favershim''': Does it have Bluetooth?
:'''Josh''': ''[inside the closet]'' What?!?!
:'''Dr. Favershim''': Your cellphone, does it have Bluetooth?
:'''Josh''': ''[inside the closet]'' Ya, dude it has Bluetooth.
:'''Dr. Favershim''': I don't believe you. Show me.
:'''Josh''': ''[inside the closet]'' Fine! Open the door! ''[Dr. Favershim opens door]'' See, Bluetooth! Ha, ha! ''[Dr. Favershim pushes Josh back in the closet, takes his phone, and locks the door again]'' What?! Oh, man!
:'''Drake''': ''[inside the closet]'' Oh, nice goin', Bluetooth!
:'''Josh''': ''[inside the closet]'' Don't start with me! ''[Josh slaps Drake off-screen]''
:'''Drake''': ''[inside the closet]'' Ow!
:''[Dr. Favershim cuts slices of a carrot and takes a bite and walks up to Bobo to eat a piece, too]'' 

&lt;hr witdh=50%&gt; 
Not happenin, little girl!

===Tree House===
:''[Drake and Josh are trapped inside Robbie's treehouse when they're trying to rebuild it]''
:'''Josh''': Drake…? 
:'''Drake''': What?
:'''Josh''': Where's the door hole?
:'''Drake''': It goes right there, see? I drew it with a magic marker.
:'''Josh''': You were supposed to cut it out with the power saw!
:'''Drake''': Dude, I'm gonna!
:'''Josh''': Oh, really?
:'''Drake''': Yes!
:'''Josh''': So go get the power saw.
:'''Drake''': Okay, I will! ''[tries to walk through the wall where the painted door is]'' I see the problem…. 
:'''Josh''': Oh, do ya?!

&lt;hr width=50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Megan refuses to let Drake and Josh out of the Robbie's tree house because she is angry that they made her miss her friend Janie's birthday party]''
:'''Megan''': ''[walks to Drake with a snow cone]'' Hey boob.
:'''Drake''': Where you've been?
:'''Megan''': I told you I was about to get a snow cone.
:'''Drake''': Okay, well now that you have one, can you please hand up the power saw so we can get out of here?
:'''Megan''': Let me think, no!
:'''Drake''': Listen to me! You make us miss our dates with those two hot identical twins. I swear- ''[Josh grabs him]''
:'''Josh''': Hey!
:'''Drake''': What?
:'''Josh''': We don't need that power saw!
:'''Drake''': Then how are we gonna get out of here?
:'''Josh''': ''[grabs the power screwdriver]'' Power screwdriver! We just need to unscrew one of these walls and boom we are out!
:'''Drake''': Do it brother!
:'''Josh''': Okay. ''[he power screws the door but realized it's dead]'' Set this baby to reverse.
:'''Drake''': Why'd it stop?
:'''Josh''': I don't know. The screwdriver- ''[looks outside the window thinking that Megan unplugged it]'' MEGAN!
:'''Megan''': ''[satisfied; after she unplugged the power screwdriver]'' Yes, can I help you? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
Acorn.

===Josh is Done===
:'''Drake''': C'mon, let's play ping-pong!
:'''Josh''': Alright. I'll play if it'll stop you from yapping.
:'''Drake''': And the battle begins! ''[rings bell]'' Ohh, my worthy opponent. Are you prepared to ping the pong?
:'''Josh''': Wahahaha. I am prepared, young sedgewan. Your pong is no match for my ping!
:'''Drake''': Ahh, do your worst! ''[he and Josh play ping-pong until Josh's paddle flies out of his hand and out the window, to Josh’s horror]'' You have smashed the window of transparency!
:'''Josh''': ''[runs to the broken window]'' Aw, man! Mom and dad are gonna kill me!
:'''Drake''': Oh, probably. Come on, let's finish the game.
:'''Josh''': I don't have a paddle!
:'''Drake''': Oh, there's an extra one downstairs, be back in a sec.
:'''Josh''': We can't be late for this-
:'''Drake''': I'll be back in a few seconds, you can study while I'm gone. ''[gives Josh the book and leaves the room]''
:'''Josh''': I don't think it leaves us enough- ''[opens the book a reads a page]'' What is the atomic weight of beryllium? 9.01. ''[yells]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Josh''': ''[All sweaty from running all the way to class after Drake left him behind, bumps into the door]'' PLEASE! PLEASE, LEMME IN!! I AM SORRY I'M LATE! ''[Drake looks at him from his desk]''
:'''Mr. Roland''': ''[Opens the door]'' Mr. Nichols, you know the rule. 
:'''Josh''': B-But you don't understand. You see, I was just about to- 
:'''Mr. Roland''': I understand that you are late, and when you're late to my class, you're not welcomed in my class. 
:'''Josh''': Uh, b-but w-what about the exam? 
:'''Mr. Roland''': You will take a make-up exam next Saturday morning at 6AM, and you will be marked down 1 letter grade! 
:'''Josh''': ''[Very upset and despairing]'' Oh, no. No-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh!!! ''[Points at Drake angrily]'' YOU!
:'''Drake''': ''[Defensively]'' What? 
:'''Josh''': ''[Yells and runs in the classroom to attack Drake, only to be held back by the other students, while Drake stares]'' COME HERE! COME HERE, YOU WANNA TUSSLE!? LET'S GO!! LET ME CLOSER!!! 
:'''Mr. Roland''': ''[enraged]'' Mr. Nichols! Mr. Nichols, you will leave this classroom NOW! 
:'''Josh''': But- 
:'''Mr. Roland''': NOW! 
:'''Josh''': I- 
:'''Mr. Roland''': NOW! 
:'''Josh''': ''[defeated]'' Now...? ''[Leaves the classroom as Mr. Roland locks the classroom door, as Josh continues trying to plead his case]'' Now, if you would just allow me to explain, OH!!! ''[Mr. Roland yanks down the door window shade]''
:'''Mr. Roland''': As I was saying, you will have 55 minutes to complete your exams. ''[Mr. Roland walks over to the classroom windows to close the blinds as Josh from outside still tries to plead his case.]'' You will use a #2 pencil.
:'''Josh''': ''[Sobbing]'' Your so hard! 
:'''Mr. Roland''': ''[Closes first blind]'' Not #1, not #3.
:'''Josh''': ''[Still sobbing]'' So unbelievably hard!
:'''Mr. Roland''': ''[Closes second blind]'' If you have any questions during the exams, don’t ask them!
:'''Josh''': ''[Still sobbing]'' I really do, I give everything a hundred…
:'''Mr. Roland''': ''[Closes last blind]'' I want silence in this classroom! Silence, is golden.
:'''Josh''': ''[Freaks out]'' Nooo! Nah! Nah! Nah! Nah!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Drake''': ''[Gets home after the exam (which he failed most likely) and takes Robbie's sit-n-bounce just to get Josh over his rage, still not caring about making him late earlier despite wanting to have fun together]'' Hey, Josh. What goes on? 
:'''Josh''': Just readin' my book. 
:'''Drake''': ''[signs]'' Look, I'm sorry about this morning. You know, but Kat called and wanted to make out, and, you know, Kat. 
:'''Josh''': ''[Knowing that Drake's apology is fake]'' Yes, yes. She's very pretty. 
:'''Drake''': Alright, you're still mad. But you won't be for long, 'cause I got you your very own sit-n-bounce! ''[Josh says nothing]'' Sit-n-bounce!  
:'''Josh''': No, thanks. 
:'''Megan''': Doesn't that kid Robbie next door have a sit-n-bounce just like that? 
:'''Drake''': No! No. And, c'mon, have you ever sat and bounced before? You can't be upset when you're sittin' and bouncin'. ''[plays with it. Josh closes his book and gets up, Drake bounces in front of him]'' 
:'''Josh''': Would you please move?
:'''Drake''': ''[stop bouncing]'' Look, dude, I said I was sorry.
:'''Josh''': Oh, I heard you.
:'''Drake''': Well, stop being mad at me.
:'''Josh''': I'm not mad at you. I'm done.
:'''Drake''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Josh''': I don't want anything to do with you anymore.
:'''Drake''': So what, are you gonna move out?
:'''Josh''': No, this is a house where I live, and I guess we'll be roommates until the day I leave for college. But that's all we'll be, is roommates. I'm done with you. ''[walks away, leaving Drake concerned]'' 
:'''Megan''': Whoa! 
:'''Drake''': What? 
:'''Megan''': You really did it this time. 
:'''Drake''': Oh, c'mon, ya know how many times Josh has been ''furious'' with me? Uh, he'll pout for a day or 2, and then he'll get over it. 
:'''Megan''': I dunno, he sounded pretty serious. 
:'''Drake''': Trust me. Alright, I know Josh, and there's no way he's gonna keep this up- 
:'''Robbie''': ''[walks in]'' I knew it! I knew you took my sit-n-bounce! ''[kicks Drake in the leg and takes his sit-n-bounce back]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:''[Without Josh, Drake begins suffering bad luck, while Josh's life improves with more good luck than ever, even passing his make-up exam and getting his grade back up]'' 
:'''Drake''': ''[arrives at the Primere ]'' Hello, Josh.
:'''Josh''': Hi, Drake.
:'''Craig''': Why are you all sweaty?
:'''Drake''': I'm all sweaty because I ran out of gas and I had to walk all the way here because SOMEBODY forgot to fill up the car!
:'''Josh''': It's not my responsibility to fill the car with gas.
:'''Drake''': You always fill up the car!
:'''Josh''': Used to, now I put in just enough gas for myself.
:'''Drake''': Well, good! You know, good for you! I DON'T NEED YOUR GAS! And just so you know, I'm gonna go see a movie right now and I don't need a free ticket from you cause mom paid me 10 bucks to get out of the house! So I don't need you for ANYTHING!
:'''Leah''': Movie tickets here are $11.
:'''Drake''': What?
:'''Eric''': And popcorn and soda are gonna cost you another 6 or 7.
:'''Drake''': D'oh! You know what? I'm not even gonna buy a ticket, I'm just going in. Right, just going right in! ''[yells at ticket checker employee, he stubbornly walks into theater 7]'' 
:'''Josh''': ''[clears throat, grabs the communicator]'' Security, we have a problem in theater 7: male Caucasian, sweaty, wearing a gray sweatshirt. ''[beeps]'' So what's the difference between a hoagie and a submarine sandwich? 
:'''Steve''': I always thought a hoagie was a hot sandwich, and a submarine could be served hot or cold. 
:'''Craig''': No, I think it's the other way around. 
:'''Eric''': Okay, but what's a grinder? 
:'''Leah''': Same thing as a hoagie. 
:'''Drake''':  ''[getting dragged by the security guards]'' Hey! Hey! Let go, let go! Josh, Josh! Tell them to let me go! Josh, Josh! Tell them! Tell them! Look this way, I know this guy, I know this guy. Ask him, ask him. 
:'''Security Guard''': Is this guy a friend of yours? 
:''[pause]''
:'''Josh''': No, he's not. 
:'''Drake''': Josh!! Oh. You're gonna regret this, Josh! You need me! YOU NEED ME!!! 
:'''Josh''': So, hoagie and grinder same thing, huh? 
:'''Leah, Steve, Eric, &amp; Craig''': ''[All talking at once in agreement]'' Yes./That's right./Uh-huh./Yeah. 
:'''Steve''': All in the sandwich family.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Drake''': ''[After being switched with another lab partner named Clayton, messes up his science experiment, causing green water to flow and spill over his hand]'' Whoa-whoa! Hey-hey! What's happening, what's happening!? Oh-okay-okay-okay! Arms tingling, arms tingling! 
:'''Craig''': Chemical emergency! ''[Turns on the alarm]'' 
:'''Mr. Roland''': Let's get him in the power-shower! ''[Grabs Drake and carries him into the chemical shower, as Josh watches in shock]'' 
:'''Drake''': Hey-hey! Watch it, will you-!? What is this!? ''[Roki shuts the door, Mr. Roland turns on the water]'' What are you, what are you-!? AAA-OOHHHH!!!! ''[Starts yelling as the water stingingly washes off the chemicals]''  
:'''Mr. Roland''': Drake, are you alright? 
:'''Drake''': Hey! What is this water!? Ow! ''[Continues yelling as everybody, including Josh, watches]'' 
:'''Mr. Roland''': ''[Drake has just been in the chemical shower, turns off the water]'' Drake, you may come out now. ''[Drake comes out, all soaked and groaning]'' Sit down, Drake. ''[Drake ignores him, walks towards the door]'' Drake, sit down!
:'''Drake''': No!
:'''Mr. Roland''': Drake!
:'''Drake''': Josh!
:'''Josh''': What?
:'''Drake''': Look, I'm sorry.
:'''Josh''': Well--
:'''Drake''': Look, let me finish, okay? I was wrong, okay? I was wrong.
:'''Josh''': What d'you mean?
:'''Drake''': I-I need you more than you need me. Uh, I-I need you ''way more'' than you need me, a-alright? I'm sorry. M-Man, I'm sorry I made you late for your exam, and I'm sorry I ran over your bike, and I, uh-- I-I'm sorry, I'm probably the worst brother in the world! And y-you know, you're way better off without me, you know? I just-- I just need you to understand that-- uh, I just-- Sorry, Josh, I'm sorry. ''[tearfully walks out of the classroom, leaving Josh stunned]''
:'''Mr. Roland''': Josh, would you like to go talk to Drake?
:'''Josh''': ''[realizes he has gone a little too far for cutting Drake out of his life, seeing how he learned his lesson the hard way]'' No. No, sir.
:'''Mr. Roland''': Alright. Class, let's get back to our experiments. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As Drake miserably tries to play ping-pong alone, Josh runs in with a kung fu yell, ready to forgive his brother]''
:'''Josh''': Hoaw! We have unfinished business, young sedgewan. 
:'''Drake''': Josh…. 
:'''Josh''': Wa-cho! You will address me only as Master Mon-googoo. ''[Drake cheers up as Josh picks up his paddle]'' 
:'''Drake''': Your words, they are strong. Uh, but your skills are weak!
:'''Josh''': Your foolishness, young sedgewan, has sealed your fate! 
:'''Drake''': Aw, destiny is mine! ''[They play ping-pong ball together and reconcile again happily]''

===Eric Punches Drake===
:'''Mr. Roland''': Josh, Mindy. The new chemistry books just arrived. They're in my classroom. 
:'''Mindy''': No way! 
:'''Josh''': Oh, come on! 
:'''Craig''': Hey, remember in Dragon to Death when Billy Chang fights Joaquin the Dream?
:'''Eric''': Remember? One does not forget the wo-cho fist of silence. ''[Tries to demonstrate, only to accidentally punch Drake in the eye and knock him out in the process]'' Oh, my god! 
:'''Craig''': Drake, are you alright!? 

&lt;hr width=“50%”/&gt; 
:'''Josh''': Hey, Craig. 
:'''Craig''': Evenin'. 
:'''Josh''': Where's Eric? 
:'''Craig''': Oh, he didn't wanna come. He was afraid Drake might be mad at him 'cause he punched him in the eye. 
:'''Josh''': He's not mad. Drake, you're not mad, are you? 
:'''Drake''': Nah, I'm not mad. Craig didn't mean to hit me. 
:'''Craig''': I'M Craig! 
:'''Drake''': ''[scoffs]'' It matters. 

&lt;hr width =50%&gt; 
:''[door bell rings]'' 
:'''Josh''': Yo, Drake, get that! 
:'''Drake''': Got it. ''[opens the door and finds Mindy there]'' Oh, is it Halloween already? Aren't you a scary, little witch? 
:'''Mindy''': Oh, look at your black eye. Well, I hope it hurts.
:'''Drake''': You shebeast!
:'''Mindy''': Microbrain!
:'''Drake''': Weirdface!
:'''Mindy''': Ignoramus!
:'''Drake''': ''[beat]'' What?
:'''Mindy''': Exactly! 
:'''Chad''': Hey. 
:'''Mindy''': Oh, hey. 
:'''Chad''': Sorry, I had to park the car at the bottom of the hill. 
:'''Mindy''': Oh, no problem. Step aside. ''[both walk inside. Drake suspects Chad to be Mindy's new boyfriend and goes into the kitchen, while Josh and Craig set up the projector]'' 
:'''Drake''': JOSH! 
:'''Josh''': ''[jumps, accidentally flips the projector]'' Aw, now I gotta reset the white balance! 
:'''Drake''': No, I need to talk to you! ''[to Craig]'' Get out. ''[Craig walks out]'' 
:'''Josh''': What? 
:'''Drake''': Mindy's here.  
:'''Josh''': I know, I invited her. 
:'''Drake''': Did you invite ''him?'' ''[turns Josh's head around towards Chad]''  
:'''Josh''': Who's him? 
:'''Drake''': Her date. 
:'''Josh''': ''[shudders]'' I don't care. 
:'''Drake''': Yes, you do!

&lt;hr width=“50%”/&gt; 
:'''Drake''': Hey, Clayton. 
:'''Clayton''': ''[mumbling]'' Hi. 
:''[Drake slips his mouth-wash, then takes Clayton's water bottle, spits in it, and gives it back to him (possibly as revenge for Drake's chemical incident in the previous episode), to Clayton's disgust. 3 students walk behind Drake, laughing at him]''
:'''Drake''': Hello? 
:'''Boy''': ''[sees Drake's black eye]'' It's true! 
:'''Drake''': Oh, the black eye? Yeah, a little accident. 
:'''Boy''': That's not what we heard. 
:'''Drake''': And what did you hear? 
:'''Boy''': That you're making fun of Eric's sister. 
:'''Girl''': Hey, Drake. I heard you got punched by a nerd. 
:'''Drake''': IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! 

&lt;hr width=“50%”/&gt; 
:'''Crazy Steve''': Excuse me, Josh. 
:'''Josh''': What!? 
:'''Crazy Steve''': I notice you're stacking that candy in an angry way. 
:'''Josh''': I AM angry! Alright, Mindy's over there with her new boyfriend, rubbing him right in my face. 
:'''Crazy Steve''': I just give this a little squeeze... DON'T DRINK WHILE I'M TALKING!!!! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Craig''': ''[pops up from the trash can]'' Hello.
:'''Drake''': ''[screams]'' Craig?
:'''Craig''': Are you alone?
:'''Drake''': Yeah, I'm alone.
:'''Craig''': Good. ''[holds out a bag of pork rinds]'' Pork rind?
:'''Drake''': Sure. ''[takes a pork rind from the bag and starts eating it]'' So you're the one that sent the blimp?
:'''Craig''': That's right.
:'''Drake''': ''[concerned]'' Why would you wanna take down Eric? He's your best friend.
:'''Craig''': WAS my best friend. Now that Eric's Mr. Popular pants and has a hot girlfriend, he doesn't give a rat's hat about me!
:'''Drake''': Rat's hat?
:'''Craig''': ''[furious]'' He's forgotten that I am the one who's been his best friend since we were 7 years old! THAT I'M THE ONE WHO DRIED HIS TEARS WHEN HIS IGUANA GOT DIABETES! THAT I--  
:'''Drake''': ''[He interrupts Craig]'' OKAY, OKAY, I get it, get it, get it. Just tell me how to stop him.
:'''Craig''': Ok, but first you have to promise me something.
:'''Drake''': What?
:'''Craig''': I love to sing.
:'''Drake''': ''[confused, steps aside]'' And?
:'''Craig''': And you are like a professional singer.
:'''Drake''': ''[still confused]'' You wanna sing a song with me?
:'''Craig''': I've wanted this for a long time!
:'''Drake''': Ok, ok, if you help me prove Eric's a liar, you can sing a song with me.
:'''Craig''': Excellent. Now, listen carefully. Eric, is a pacifist.
:'''Drake''': I thought he was Jewish.
:'''Craig''': A pacifist is someone who refuses to fight.
:'''Drake''': Okay...
:'''Craig''': So, if you insult Eric in front of a bunch of people, he won't fight back, and then everyone will know he was lying about standing up to you!
:'''Drake''': Uh-huh!
:'''Craig''': And then he won't be popular anymore which means he'll come crawling back to me! And don't forget our song.
:'''Drake''': I won't forget the song.
:'''Craig''': Good, I'll start practicing.
:''[Drake walks away while Craig starts singing in the dumpster behind the school's cafeteria]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Drake''': ''[he stops the argument about stacks of cards]'' Okay, you know what?! You know what?! Enough with the cards, alright?! I got big problems!
:'''Josh''': What, that Eric thing?
:'''Drake''': Yeah, he's lying to everybody and ruining my life just to make himself popular. But you know what? 
:'''Josh''': What?
:'''Drake''': I'm gonna go find Eric and punch him right in his little nerdy head!
:'''Josh''': You don't want to do that! ''[grabs him]''
:'''Drake''': Then give me a one good reason.
:'''Josh''': 'Cause it's not gonna help you! Alright? It's just gonna make you look worse or you're gonna handle these things maturely.
:'''Drake''': Kinda like you do with Mindy?!
:'''Josh''': DIFFERENT!!! ''[crosses his arms]''
:'''Drake''': It's not different?
:'''Josh''': Mindy rubbing a new boyfriend in my face is an outrage, OUTRAGE!!!
:'''Drake''': And Eric wrecking my life isn't?!
:'''Josh''': I'm not saying it's not bro, but look you gotta help me with-- ''[the doorbell interrupts them as Drake opens the door and Clayton talks to Drake and Josh about what Drake did to his water]''
:'''Clayton''': ''[worried, mumbling]'' Why?
:''[Josh points to Drake and tells him to close the door. Drake awkwardly locks the door as he and Josh cool off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chad''': Do you guys have free refills on the ginger ale?
:'''Josh''': Oh, you want some ginger ale do you? Yeah, Chad can't get enough of his precious ginger ale!! Oh, No! Well, I'll tell you what, Chad!!! Why not call up the ginger ale headquarters and have them back up a tanker truck to your mouth!? So Chad can drink ginger ale til' there's no more ginger ale for the REST OF THE EARTH'S POPULATION!!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[after Josh becomes obnoxious that Mindy has a new boyfriend, she comes over to check on him]''
:'''Josh''': What do you except? I mean, I know we're broken up, but that doesn’t give you the right to rub your new boyfriend in my face.
:'''Mindy''': He's not my boyfriend.
:'''Josh''': Look, I don't care what you call him-
:'''Mindy''': He's my cousin.
:'''Josh''': Your cousin?
:'''Mindy''': Yeah. I'm not dating anyone. He just moved here from St. Louis, so I've been showing him around.
:'''Josh''': Why didn't you tell me that?
:'''Mindy''': I tried, you never gave me a chance.
:'''Josh''': So tonight, you were just messing with my head? 
:'''Mindy''': I think you deserved it after the way you screamed at me. 
:'''Josh''': I still think that was a really obnoxious thing for you to do! 
:'''Mindy''': I think you acted ''way'' more obnoxious. 
:'''Josh''': Well, I'm just glad we're broken up! 
:'''Mindy''': Not as glad as I am! 
:'''Josh''': Oh, really?! 
:'''Mindy''': REALLY! ''[they make out]''
:'''Josh''': We're still broken up, right?
:'''Mindy''': Definitely.
:''[they continue to make out]''

===Megan's Revenge===
:''[Drake and Josh are in Megan's room]''
:'''Drake''': Now, put Megan's camera back where you found this. Being in her room creeps me out.
:'''Josh''': Yeah, me, too. ''[looks at Megan's hamster]'' Awww. Look at Megan's hamster. He's washing his little face.
:'''Drake''': Look, let's just get out of here.
:'''Josh''': Just wait. This is too cute. I gotta get a picture of him.
:'''Drake''': Well, hurry.
:'''Josh''': Okay! Smile, Hervay. 
:''[Hervay falls down from the camera shot Josh took]''
:'''Drake''': Awww. He's playing dead.
:'''Josh''': I think he really is dead!
:'''Drake''': Oh! That hamster cannot be dead. If that hamster is dead, we're dead because Megan’s gonna kill us!
:'''Josh''': W-W-What can I do about it?
:'''Drake''': I don't know your watch o.r.! Fix him.
:'''Josh''': ''[whining]'' Okay, okay. Um, alright, I need a CBC, uh, a chem seven chest phone.
:'''Drake''': Just give him CPU!
:'''Josh''': ''[whining]'' Alright! ''[takes out Hervay from his cage]'' See what everybody say with me!
:'''Drake''': Okay.
:'''Josh''': ''[blows on Hervay's mouth]'' 1 1,000 , 2 1,000 , 3 1,000 , BREATHE! ''[blows on Hervay's mouth again and tries to pick him up but fails]'' That's it. 10:22, I'm calling it!
:'''Drake''': NO! ''[runs up to Hervay and blows his mouth]'' 
:'''Josh''': ''[gaves Drake backwards]'' HE'S GONE!
:'''Drake''': Josh, Megan is going to kill us!
:'''Josh''': Maybe she won't. Maybe she'll understand.
:'''Drake''': Think about it. Megan does horrible horrible things to us every day for no reason. Now, SHE HAS A REASON!
:'''Josh''': WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!
:''[Drake quickly puts the camera in her drawer and Josh puts Hervay back in his room as they leave Megan's room fast]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Megan uses a remote to create a hole on the floor to make Drake and Josh fall to the garage from their bedroom]''
:'''Megan''': Okay, that was good revenge, too. And by the way, you didn't kill Hervay. The camera flash just stunned. He's fine, see? ''[shows Drake and Josh her pet hamster Hervay who is still alive]''
:'''Drake and Josh''': MEGAN!

===Steered Straight===
:'''Josh''': Man, we can't get into the Reptile Room ''[nightclub]''. You have to be over 21.
:'''Drake''': You are, Mr... ''[pulls out fake ID]'' Yakitori!
:'''Josh''': ''[takes fake ID and looks at it]'' What's this?
:'''Drake''': Fake ID, here, check mine out. ''[takes out his own fake ID and gives it to Josh]''
:'''Josh''': ''[reads the name on Drake's fake ID]'' Jefferson Steelflex?
:'''Drake''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, made it up.
:'''Josh''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, REALLY! So you're suggesting that we use fake IDs to get into a nightclub posing as... ''[reads the names on the IDs again]'' Jefferson Steelflex and Alvin Yakitori?
:'''Drake''': Yep. And, hey, we gotta be there before 10:30 because I'm pretty sure...
:'''Josh''': It's illegal to use fake IDs!
:'''Drake''': Yeah, well, it's illegal to rob banks, but people do it!
:'''Josh''': Yes, people who are BANK ROBBERS!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after Blaze has gone]''
:'''Josh''': Are you CRAZY?! What if Mom, Dad or Megan are downstairs?
:'''Drake''': Look, both of the cars are gone, alright? So nobody's home.
:'''Josh''': Good. Oh, quick. Quick, let's call the cops before he comes back.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, right, right, right, right.
:'''Josh''': Okay.
:'''Drake''': Uh...
:'''Josh''': Uh, alright. ''[pushes the phone with his head and he and Drake struggle to call the police]'' Alright, work together. Teamwork.
:'''Drake''': Okay.
:'''Josh''': Teamwork.
:'''Drake''': Alright.
:'''Josh''': To the left.
:'''Drake''': Ow!
:'''Josh''': To the--
:'''Drake''': Grab it.
:'''Josh''': Alright. ''[the phone slides away from him and Drake]'' Teamworking.
:'''Drake''': Grab it. Alright, press the 9, man.
:'''Josh''': Oh, this isn't gonna work.
:'''Drake''': Alright. Fine, fine, here. ''[puts it behind him]'' I'll hold it behind my back, you dial it with your nose.
:'''Josh''': I'm not sticking my nose down there.
:'''Drake''': Would you rather take your chances with a vicious criminal?
:'''Josh''': I think so.
:'''Drake''': Oh, just dial the number.
:'''Josh''': Alright. ''[presses the 9 button with his nose]'' 9. ''[then the 1 button]'' 1. 
:''[sneezes on the phone and Drake lets go of it]''
:'''Drake''': Aw, man. You sneezed on my palm.
:'''Josh''': It is allergy season. 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Drake and Josh''': Dad.

===Megan's First Kiss===
:'''Megan''': Um, what are you doing this Saturday night?
:'''Drake''': Going to a concert at the Mega Dome.
:'''Josh''': Why?
:'''Drake''': 'Cause we bought tickets.
:'''Josh''': ''[to Drake]'' Not you! ''[to Megan]'' Why do you wanna know what we're doing Saturday night?
:'''Megan''': I don't care what you're doing.
:'''Drake''': But you just asked us.
:'''Megan''': Or, maybe you, just asked yourselves! Yeah. Think about that... ''[Megan leaves the room smiling]''
:'''Drake''': Okay I wanna know what her deal is!
:'''Josh''': Yeah, yeah, yeah she's up to something!
:'''Drake''': Yeah, first she hangs up the phone, pretends to not be talking to anybody.
:'''Josh''': Yeah, and she measures our necks and asks of our social plans.
:'''Drake''': Wait, she said we asked ourselves about that.
:'''Josh''': Really, you're not a smart boy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Drake and Josh walk into the Premiere disguised as Jews]''
:'''Drake''': Okay, all I'm saying is, the next time we need disguises, I'm getting them!
:'''Josh''': I told you, the costume shop was closed, the temple was open! And these are good disguises.
:'''Drake''': I don't even know what accent to talk with. 
:'''Josh''': Doesn't matter, just sound foreign.
:'''Helen''': Can I help you gentlemen find something?
:'''Josh''': ''[Irish accent]'' Top of the mornin to ya, how are ya? Potata!
:'''Helen''': Potato?
:'''Drake''': ''[Irish accent]'' Come along, Pontiac.
:'''Josh''': Yes, let's go observe the mulberry bush!
:'''Drake''': Pip pip da doodly-doo!
:'''Helen''': Pip pip da doodly-doo! I'm gonna start sayin that. 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
I used to be his girlfriend.

===The Battle of Panthatar===
:''[Opening comments: Drake and Josh ask themselves random questions]''
:'''Drake''': Hello, what's your name?
:'''Josh''': Hi! Who are you?
:'''Drake''': What is your favorite thing to eat?
:'''Josh''': What games do you like to play?
:'''Drake and Josh''': Me, too!
:'''Drake''': Hey, do you like me?
:'''Josh''': Do you wanna be my friend?
:'''Drake''': Aw, thank you!
:'''Josh''': ... What is that supposed to mean?
:'''Drake''': You think I'm handsome? What a special thing to say!
:'''Josh''': What? Who are you calling a dork? Hey hey hey hey! Go fetch your mother! Yeah I'm talking to you!
:'''Drake''': A present? For me?
:'''Josh''': Alright just put your kid right in front of the TV set because I have a few things to say!
:'''Drake''': ''[holding a handed a plate of cookies]'' A plate of cookies? Ohh, yummy!
:'''Josh''': I-I think it's pretty rude to tell a person that he's a --''[boy spits in his eye]''... did you just... you spit in my eye!
:'''Drake''': Mmm... these are my favorite!
:'''Josh''': Ohh, it burns! Aghh! Aghh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
Josh sobs 
I AM TALKING TO PEOPLE!!! 
UNINVITED!!! [storms away] 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:''[Drake enters his and Josh's room]''
:'''Drake''': Hey.
:'''Josh''': Well? Did you go to Thornton's house? Did you apologize?
:'''Drake''': Yeah, I went to Thornton's house, and I apologized.
:'''Josh''': Well, perfect, and?
:'''Drake''': He had his housekeeper kick me out, then he hit me with a broom, and I fell down some brick stairs.
:'''Josh''': ''[groans]'' I really wanted to go to that party. Why do you ruin everything?
:'''Drake''': Don't worry, alright? I'm gonna figure a way to get even with that Thornton.
:'''Josh''': I don't wanna get even. ''[whining]'' I WANNA GO TO THAT BIRTHDAY PARTY!
:'''Drake''': Bro, Thornton hates us.
:'''Josh''': Well, let's make him love us again.
:'''Drake''': I tried.
:'''Josh''': Well, maybe we can... ''[notices Drake's autographed [[The Beatles|Beatles]] ''Abbey Road'' album]'' Hey. Isn't Thornton a huge Beatles fan?
:'''Drake''': Well, yeah, but I don't see what that has to do-- [realizes what Josh means] Oh, no, no. No way. ''[hides it in his arms]'' Don't even think about it.
:'''Josh''': I'm telling you, if we give him that album--
:'''Drake''': Absolutely not.
:'''Josh''': I guarantee you he'll re-invite us.
:'''Drake''': Dude, I love this album more than I love myself.
:'''Josh''': Dude.
:'''Drake''': Okay, but I love this album a lot. 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
NOT UNTIL I GET MY BEETLES ALBUM BACK!!!

===[[w:Really Big Shrimp|Really Big Shrimp]]===
&lt;small&gt;Note: This episode was an hour long.&lt;/small&gt;
:'''Crazy Steve''': ''[looks at his watch]'' It's time! ''[he steals old man's cane and starts chasing Josh]'' You ate my enchilada!
:'''Josh''': There was no note!
:'''Crazy Steve''': You ate my enchilada!
:'''Josh''': There was no note! 

:'''Crazy Steve''': You ate my enchilada! 
:'''Josh''': I thought we settled this! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Audrey''': ''[hears doorbell; talking about Helen and Lula]'' Walter, they're here.
:'''Walter''': Ooh. ''[walks before the front door]''
:'''Megan''': Dad, are you sure about this?
:'''Walter''': Yes. And we are doing a very nice thing for a sweet old lady. ''[Lula breaks the door in] ''
:'''Lula''': Where's the bathroom?!
:'''Audrey''': Did you just break our door in?!
:'''Lula''': I rang the doorbell, waited 25 seconds, no one answered, what I supposed to do?
:'''Josh''': You could've rang the doorbell, again.
:'''Lula''': ''[to Helen]'' Who's that boy with a big head that looks like a tooth pick with a cantaloupe on top? ''[Megan laughs and Josh give her a furious look]''
:'''Megan''': What, am I going to pretend that wasn't funny?
:'''Helen''': That's Josh, he works with me at the Premeire. ''[introduces everyone else]'' That's Drake, I prefer him. That's Megan, that's Mrs. Parker (Audrey), and this is...''[forgets who Walter is]''
:'''Walter''': Walter!
:'''Lula''': Great, now where's the bathroom?!
:'''Audrey''': Right through that door.
:'''Lula''': Well, thank you for finally giving me that information! ''[walks into bathroom and slams door]''
:'''Audrey''': Is she always so--? 
:'''Helen''': Buh-bye! ''[goes away]''
:'''Megan''': I can't believe that lady is staying in our guest room for a week.
:'''Walter''': No, she's staying in your room.
:'''Megan''': What?!
:'''Audrey''': You'll be staying in the boys' room.
:'''Drake, Josh and Megan''': What?!
:'''Josh''': This is an outrage!
:'''Drake''': What are we gonna stay?
:'''Walter''': ''[to Drake and Josh]'' Your room is huge. The three of you will be fine for a week.
:'''Megan''': Aw, this is horrible.
:'''Walter''': It's not that bad.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Megan''': Fine, I'll tell him. Josh, Molly thinks you're cute.
:'''Megan's Friends''': Eww!
:''[Josh walks out of the room]''
:'''Molly''': Call me!!
:'''Megan's Friends''': Eww!
:''[Josh peeks his head back through the door]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Drake arrives home]''
:'''Audrey''': Super Bowl's on.
:'''Drake''': I don't care.
:'''Josh''': Come on, the commercial's up in about two minutes. You gotta watch. It's your song.
:'''Drake''': It's not my song. It's horrible bubble-gum pop garbage-y badness. That 50,000,000 people are about to hear. I'll be on the roof.
:'''Josh''': Why?
:'''Drake''': Because you're not there. ''[walks away]''
:'''Josh''': Drake! ''[runs off to Drake]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Crazy Steve''': Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in...
:'''Lula''': ''[annoyed]'' I know how to breathe!
:'''Crazy Steve''': ''[screaming]'' '''''JUST DO WHAT I SAY!'''''
:'''Lula''': ''[scared]'' Okay. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mindy''': ''[Yells after Crazy Steve goes insane]'' Help! Crazy Steve's gone berserk! 
:'''Josh &amp; Helen''': Crazy Steve!? 
:'''Mindy''': WHO ELSE!? 
:'''Josh''': But it's Monday, you can't schedule Crazy Steve to work on a Monday! 
:'''Helen''': Monday's his bad day! 
:'''Mindy''': Well, no one TOLD me that!!! 
:'''Crazy Steve''': ''[waving nutted shoes]'' CUCKADOODLEDOO, THE COW SAYS MOO!!! 

&lt; 
Which is why you’re fired. 

&lt; 
Will you not scream in my room? 

&lt; 
I want the shrimp.

===Helicopter===
:''[Drake and Josh try to wake up Vince]''
:'''Josh''': Hey, hey. He's awake.
:'''Drake''': You're awake!
:'''Vince''': ''[wakes up]'' Oh, what happened? How long I been out?
:'''Drake''': About 10 minutes. 
:'''Vince''': Oh, I remember. You clowns were fighting over this parachute. ''[holds his head]'' Oh, what'd I hit my head on?
:'''Josh''': This fire extinguisher.
:'''Vince''': Oh.
:'''Josh''': See, I'm pretty sure you hit your head right on this lever-- ''[he sprays Vince with a fire extinguisher and Vince screams outside after he pranked him]''
:'''Drake''': ''[angrily]'' Do you know what you just did?!
:'''Josh''': ''[worried]'' I extinguished our pilot?
:'''Drake''': ''[angrily]'' No, he has a parachute! You've extinguished us!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
It opened! 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Vince angrily arrives at Drake and Josh's house after Drake and Josh blasted him out of the helicopter]''
:'''Vince''': You blasted me out of my own helicopter.
:'''Drake &amp; Josh''': Wha-- shh!
:'''Drake''': Not in front of our parents.
:'''Audrey''': Who is it?
:'''Drake &amp; Josh''': Uh--
:'''Drake''': Some, crazy, guy.
:''[Josh whistles]''
:'''Walter''': ''[to Audrey]'' I'll handle this. ''[he walks over to Vince]'' How can I help you?
:'''Vince''': Are you their father?
:'''Walter''': Yes. ''[Vince angrily gives him a bill]'' What's this?
:'''Vince''': ''[angrily]'' A bill. That's how much you owe me for my new helicopter.
:'''Walter''': What? ''[looks at the bill Vince gave him]'' '''''$400,000?!'''''
:''[Audrey and Megan are both shocked]''
:'''Drake''': ''[as Walter]'' Boys, you're both grounded.
:'''Josh''': But, Dad--
:'''Drake''': ''[as Walter]'' Grounded, two weeks.
:'''Josh''': But it wasn't our fault!
:'''Drake''': ''[as Walter]'' Upstairs.
:'''Josh''': ''[defeated]'' Yes, sir.
:'''Drake''': Night.
:'''Josh''': Night.
:''[Drake and Josh head upstairs and ground themselves for two weeks as Walter needs to pay $400,000 for Vince's new helicopter]''

===Dance Contest===
:'''Eric''': So, uh, Josh, thanks for throwing me this... great party.
:'''Drake''': Yeah, this is quite a party. Hope the neighbors don't call the cops on us.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt; 
:’’’Stage director’’’: STOP IT! (14x) Perhaps, you lady didn’t read the rules: you fight, you’re out! 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Drake and Josh''': ''[last lines]'' Who is she?

==External links==

{{wikipedia|Drake &amp; Josh}}

[[Category:Drake &amp; Josh seasons]]
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]</text>
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      <text bytes="3607" xml:space="preserve">In [[economics]], a '''[[w:recession|recession]]''' (Commonly known as two negative quarters of GDP growth) is a business cycle contraction. It is a general slowdown in economic activity. Macroeconomic indicators such as GDP ([[Gross Domestic Product|gross domestic product]]), [[investment]] spending, capacity utilization, household income, business [[Profit|profits]], and [[inflation]] fall, while [[Bankruptcy|bankruptcies]] and the [[unemployment]] rate rise.
Recessions generally occur when there is a widespread drop in spending (an adverse demand shock). This may be triggered by various events, such as a financial crisis, an external trade shock, an adverse supply shock or the bursting of an economic bubble. Governments usually respond to recessions by adopting expansionary [[Macroeconomics|macroeconomic]] policies, such as increasing money supply, increasing government spending and decreasing [[taxation]].

{{economics-stub}}

== Quotes ==
&lt;small&gt; ordered in reverse chronological order&lt;/small&gt;
* We're not trying to provoke — and don't think that we will need to provoke — a recession. But we do think it's absolutely essential that we restore [[price stability]], really for the benefit of the [[labor market]] as much as anything else.
** [[Jerome Powell]] '''[https://www.npr.org/2022/06/22/1106735608/powell-says-recession-a-possibility-but-not-likely Powell says recession 'a possibility' but not likely]''' (June 22, 20222:23 PM ET)

* [[Proletarian|People]] are right to be angry: they understand they did not cause the [[Great Recession|recession]], but they had to [[w:Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008|pay]] for it while [[Wall Street]] grew richer.
** [[Bernie Sanders]], [http://twitter.com/SenSanders/status/730455940898623488 Statement], May 11, 2016

* The phenomenon of recessions puzzled many economists in the early years of this century, and led many of them to produce their worst work. [[Thorstein Veblen]] went from his brilliant ''Theory of the Leisure Class'' to write a really terrible book (''The Engineers and the Price System'') purporting to explain economic slumps. [[Joseph Schumpeter]], whose magnificent vision of the &quot;creative destruction&quot; inherent in capitalist growth continues to inspire many economists, wrote a turgid, almost meaningless two-volume study, ''Business Cycles''. Marxists gleefully seized upon the biggest recession of all, the [[Great Depression]] of the 1930s, as evidence of the irrationality of [[capitalism]], yet they never offered a good explanation of why and how such things happen, just assurances that socialism would cure them.&lt;br&gt;It fell to the [[United Kingdom|British]] economist [[John Maynard Keynes]] to provide a clear story about what happens during a recession, and some useful advice about how to get out of one.
** [[Paul Krugman]], ''Peddling Prosperity'' (1994), Ch. 1 : The Attack on Keynes
*The people of the [[United States]] suffer from periodical financial panics to a degree substantially unknown to the other nations, which approach us in financial strength. There is no reason why we should suffer what they escape. It is of profound importance that our financial system should be promptly investigated, and so thoroughly and effectively revised as to make it certain that hereafter our currency will no longer fail at critical times to meet our needs.
**[[Theodore Roosevelt]], [https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/blog/2011/12/06/archives-president-teddy-roosevelts-new-nationalism-speech Osawatomie speech] (31 August 1910)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Economics]]</text>
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    <title>Margaret Keane</title>
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      <text bytes="8058" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Margaret Keane|Margaret D. H. Keane]]''' (born '''Peggy Doris Hawkins'''; [[15 September]] [[1927]]) is an [[American]] [[artist]].&amp;nbsp; [[Creator]] of the &quot;big eyed waifs&quot;, Keane is [[famous]] for drawing [[paintings]] with big [[eyes]] and mainly paints [[women]], [[children]], and [[animals]] in oil or mixed media.&amp;nbsp; In the [[1960s]], Keane became one of the most [[popular]] and [[successful]] artists of the time.&amp;nbsp; During this time, her artwork was sold under the name of her [[husband]], [[Walter Keane]], who claimed credit for her paintings.&amp;nbsp; Their life together was the subject of the [[2014]] [[Tim Burton]] film ''[[Big Eyes]]''.

==[[1965]]==
===Cited by Jane Howard===
:&lt;small&gt;Jane Howard, &quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=WFMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA39 The Man Who Paints Those Big Eyes: The Phenomenal Success of Walter Keane],&quot; ''[[Life (magazine)|LIFE]]'' 59, no. 9 ([[27 August]] [[1965]]), pp. 39–40, 42–45, 48.&lt;/small&gt;
*It was the [[eyes]] that did it.&amp;nbsp; [''timid giggle'']&amp;nbsp; I liked the way [[Walter Keane|he]] [[painted]] eyes and he liked mine.
**Page 45.&amp;nbsp; Stated at a time when Margaret Keane was still going along with the fraud that her husband was the painter of the Big Eyed waifs.
*M, you see, is four&lt;!--it's actually thirteen first--&gt;, and D is four too, and H is eight, and four and four and eight are sixteen, which is made up of one and six, which make seven—my [[number]].
**Page 48.

==[[1970]]==
*[[Walter Keane|He]] can't [[paint]] [[eyes]].&amp;nbsp; He couldn't [[learn]] to paint at all.
**Cited in &quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=2FMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA56 The lady behind those Keane-eyed kids],&quot; ''[[Life (magazine)|LIFE]]'' 69, no. 21 ([[20 November]] [[1970]]), p. 56.

==[[1972]]==
*I had just [[announced]] for the first time [[public speaking|publicly]] on a [[radio]] show in [[San Francisco]] that I had done all the Keane [[paintings]] and not my [[Walter Keane|ex-husband]].&amp;nbsp; And this, um, Bill Flang of the ''[[San Francisco Examiner]]'' thought that Walter and I should appear in [[Union Square, San Francisco|Union Square]] and have a paint-off to [[decide]] who had done the paintings, since I was—said that ''I'' had done them.&amp;nbsp; So, he arranged it, and [[Life (magazine)|''LIFE'' magazine]] as there and all the different [[newspapers]] and [[t.v.]] stations and they, uh—some of them in the [[audience]] played &quot;[[The Ballad of High Noon|High Noon]]&quot;—[''[[laughs]]'']&amp;nbsp; And, of course, Walter didn't show up.
**[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMK6aBSX2QY Interviewed] on ''[[The Mike Douglas Show]]'' ([[1972]]).

==[[1999]]==
===Cited by Amy M. Spindler===
:&lt;small&gt;Amy M. Spindler, &quot;[http://www.nytimes.com/1999/05/23/magazine/style-an-eye-for-an-eye.html Style; An Eye for an Eye],&quot; ''[[The New York Times]]'' ([[23 May]] [[1999]]).&lt;/small&gt;
*I'd have to [[lock]] the [[door]] of the [[paint]] [[room]].&amp;nbsp; [[Walter Keane|He]] wouldn't allow anyone in.&amp;nbsp; I was like a [[prisoner]].
*'''Gradually it dawned on me that I was [[painting]] my own inner [[emotions]].&amp;nbsp; Those [[children]] were [[asking]]:&amp;nbsp; &quot;Why are we here?&amp;nbsp; What is [[life]] all about?&amp;nbsp; Why is there [[sadness]] and [[injustice]]?&quot;&amp;nbsp; All those deep [[questions]].&amp;nbsp; Those children were sad because they didn't have the [[answers]].&amp;nbsp; They were searching.'''
*A lot of [[art]] [[today]] doesn't convey much [[hope]], and I hope mine does.&amp;nbsp; I try to [[paint]] what I [[think]] the [[future]] holds and my innermost [[feelings]] about [[God]]'s [[promise]] for the future.

==[[2014]]==
*The [[older]] I get, the [[brighter]] [[colours]] I [[live]].&amp;nbsp; But in the [[past]], they were [[dark]], [[dingy]], [[sad]] colours.
**KQED Arts, &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMKnuhNe3Pc Margaret Keane, Painter Behind Tim Burton's 'Big Eyes'],&quot; YouTube.com.
===Cited by Jesse Hamlin===
:&lt;small&gt;Jesse Hamlin, &quot;[http://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/article/Artist-Margaret-Keane-hasn-t-lost-wide-eyed-5955625.php Artist Margaret Keane hasn't lost wide-eyed enthusiasm for work],&quot; ''SFGate'' (14 Decembet 2014).&lt;/small&gt;
*[[Walter Keane|He]]'d [[threatened]] me so many times.&amp;nbsp; I [[thought]] he was so [[crazy]] he could hire a [[hit man]] to come get me anytime.
*[[Walter Keane|Walter]] was extremely [[charming]].&amp;nbsp; He could charm anybody, especially [[women]].
*'''[[Children]] do have big [[eyes]].&amp;nbsp; When I'm doing a portrait, the eyes are the most expressive part of the [[face]].&amp;nbsp; And they just got bigger and bigger and bigger.'''
*I lost all [[respect]] for [[Walter Keane|him]] and myself, and lived in a [[nightmare]].
*I still [[paint]] [[sad]] [[children]], because there's sadness in the [[world]], but they have [[hope]], and I have hope.
*I finally got to the point where I decided I don't care if it's [[good]] [[art]] or [[bad]] art, it's what I do.&amp;nbsp; I [[enjoy]] doing it, and [[people]] like it.

==About Margaret Keane==
===[[Lawrence Alloway]]===
*His [[art]] is in [[heroic]] [[bad taste]].&amp;nbsp; It's incredibly [[vulgar]], it's [[weird]], but it's still [[gorgeous]].&amp;nbsp; Bad-taste [[entertainment]] is the [[best]] entertainment.&amp;nbsp; What I really love about Keane is that he ''is'' so [[commerce|commercial]].
** This statement was made before the public learned that Margaret, and not Walter, was the painter of the Big Eyed waifs.
**Cited by Jane Howard, &quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=WFMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA39 The Man Who Paints Those Big Eyes: The Phenomenal Success of Walter Keane],&quot; ''[[Life (magazine)|LIFE]]'' 59, no. 9 ([[27 August]] [[1965]]), p. 42.

===[[Walter Keane]]===
*And Margaret, uh, has done a lot of [[experimenting]] in her work.&amp;nbsp; I [[think]], [[probably]], ''no'' [[artist]] has experimented the way ''Margaret'' has.
**This statement was made before the public learned that Margaret, and ''not'' Walter, was the painter of the Big Eyed waifs.
**[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WgStC6fvtM Interviewed] by Gary E. Park (''circa'' [[1964]]).
*Margaret is probably the [[greatest]] [[woman]] [[painter]] [[alive]].
**This statement was made before the public learned that Margaret, and not Walter, was the painter of the Big Eyed waifs.
**Cited by Jane Howard, &quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=WFMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA39 The Man Who Paints Those Big Eyes: The Phenomenal Success of Walter Keane],&quot; ''[[Life (magazine)|LIFE]]'' 59, no. 9 ([[27 August]] [[1965]]), p. 45.

===[[Andy Warhol]]===
*I think what Keane has done is just terrific.&amp;nbsp; It has to be [[good]].&amp;nbsp; If it were bad, so many people wouldn't like it.
**Said before the public learned that Margaret, and not Walter, was the painter of the Big Eyed waifs.
**Cited by Jane Howard, &quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=WFMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA39 The Man Who Paints Those Big Eyes: The Phenomenal Success of Walter Keane],&quot; ''[[Life (magazine)|LIFE]]'' 59, no. 9 ([[27 August]] [[1965]]), p. 42.&amp;nbsp; Cited also by Amy M. Spindler, &quot;[http://www.nytimes.com/1999/05/23/magazine/style-an-eye-for-an-eye.html Style; An Eye for an Eye],&quot; ''[[The New York Times]]'' ([[23 May]] [[1999]]).
*But what ''I'' like most about Keane, myself, is that he's mass-produced, like a [[factory]].
**Said at a time when the [[public]] [[believed]] that ''Walter'' Keane was painting the Big Eyed waifs; to be fair, this critique properly applies to ''Margaret'' Keane, the actual painter behind the Big Eyes.
**Cited by Jane Howard, &quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=WFMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA39 The Man Who Paints Those Big Eyes: The Phenomenal Success of Walter Keane],&quot; ''[[Life (magazine)|LIFE]]'' 59, no. 9 ([[27 August]] [[1965]]), p. 43.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://www.keane-eyes.com/ Keane Eyes Gallery]

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    <title>The Day of the Triffids (film)</title>
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[[File:Dayofthetriffids.jpg|thumb|Most plants thrive on animal waste, but I'm afraid this mutation possesses an appetite for the animal itself.]]
'''''[[w:The Day of the Triffids (film)|The Day of the Triffids]]''''' is a [[w:1962 in film|1962 film]] about a merchant navy officer who must find a way to conquer tall, aggressive plants which are feeding on people and animals.
:''Directed by [[w:Steve Sekely|Steve Sekely]]. Written by [[w:Bernard Gordon|Bernard Gordon]], based on [[w:The Day of the Triffids|the novel]] by [[w:John Wyndham|John Wyndham]].''
{{center|'''Man eating plants! Spine chilling terror!'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==Narrator== 
* In nature's scheme of things, there are certain plants which are carnivorous, or eating plants. The Venus Fly Trap is one of the best known of these plants. A fly drawn to the plant by its sweet syrup, brushes against triggered bristles. Just how these plants digest their pray has yet to be explained. There is much still to learn about these fascinating eating plants. This is a newcomer: Triffidus Celestus, brought to earth on the meteorite during the Day of the Triffids.
* All reports confirm that the world is witnessing an unprecedented shower of meteorites. There is no record of a display such as this in recorded history. At observatories astronomers are noting this fantastic phenomenon, and are carefully calculating the effect on our solar system. The consensus of option is that the meteorites burn up from the intense heat before they reach the Earth.
* A simple method had been found to destroy the Triffids. Sea water, from which life on Earth had sprung, became the means of preserving life on Earth. Mankind survived and once again have reason to give thanks.

== Other ==
* '''Mr. Coker ''': ''[to Bill]'' Most plants thrive on animal waste, but I'm afraid this mutation possesses an appetite for the animal itself.
* '''Karen Goodwin''': ''[as her husband is boarding up the lighthouse door]'' It's like being nailed in your own coffin.
* '''Tom Goodwin''': Keep behind me. There's no sense in getting killed by a plant.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Bill Masen''': Feel guilty, hmmm?
:'''Christine Durrant''': Maybe.
:'''Bill Masen''': You know why?
:'''Christine Durrant''': Why?
:'''Bill Masen''': Because you survived. Bettina, Coker &amp; all the rest dead. And you're alive, and you wonder why.
:'''Christine Durrant''': That's exactly right.
:'''Bill Masen''': Yeah, I know the feeling. During the war, you get a ship shot out from underneath you. All your friends gone, and only a handful left. And you ask yourself &quot;Why me? Why not someone better?&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Christine Durrant''': ''[seeing the devastated French naval base at Toulon]'' Where will we go in Spain?
:'''Bill Masen''': Well, there's a big American naval base in southern Spain at Cadiz. They're equipped for disaster. They got supplies. They're disciplined.
:'''Christine Durrant''': So were the French at Toulon.

== Taglines ==
* Spine Chilling Terror
* Beware the triffids... they grow... know... walk... talk... stalk... and kill!
* Triffids take over the world! From the greatest science-fiction novel of all time!
* Man eating plants! Spine chilling terror!
* The triffids are coming! The triffids are growing! The triffids are killing!
* From the greatest science fiction novel of all time!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Howard Keel|Howard Keel]] — Bill Masen
* [[w:Nicole Maurey|Nicole Maurey]] — Christine Durrant
* [[w:Janette Scott|Janette Scott]] — Karen Goodwin
* [[w:Kieron Moore|Kieron Moore]] — Tom Goodwin
* [[w:Mervyn Johns|Mervyn Johns]] — Mr. Coker
* [[w:Ewan Roberts|Ewan Roberts]] — Dr. Soames
* [[w:Alison Leggatt|Alison Leggatt]] — Miss Coker
* Geoffrey Matthews — Luis de la Vega
* Gilgi Hauser — Teresa de la Vega
* [[w:John Tate (actor)|John Tate]] — Captain — ''S.S. Midland''
* [[w:Carole Ann Ford|Carole Ann Ford]] — Bettina
* [[w:Arthur Gross|Arthur Gross]] — Flight 356 radioman
* [[w:Colette Wilde|Colette Wilde]] — Nurse Jamieson

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0055894|title=The Day of the Triffids}}

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    <title>John Kass</title>
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      <text bytes="1358" xml:space="preserve">[[File:John Kass (2014-03-06).png|thumb|John Kass]]
'''[[w:John Kass|John Kass]]''' (born [[25 June]] [[1956]]) is an American columnist and former editorial board member for the ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'' and radio broadcaster.

{{journalist-stub}}
==Quotes==
*Who cares if [[Abortion|it]]'s [[legal]]? I don't care if it's legal. [[Slavery]] was legal once too, and not just in [[Americas|America]], but just about every other country in the world. The powerful have always legalized their subjugation of the less powerful.
**[http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-kass-planned-parenthood-met-0719-20150719-column.html &quot;Evil with salad and a nice red&quot;] (19 July 2015), ''Chicago Tribune'', Illinois

* Once a nation acknowledges publicly that it is corrupt, ... there is a weakening. A listlessness, a nihilism, where personal appetites and longings for celebrity outweigh what was once understood as common virtue.
** &quot;[[Hillary Clinton]] disqualifies herself,&quot; ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'', [http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-hillary-clinton-emails-comey-kass-0708-20160707-column.html (7 July 2016)]

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

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'''[[w:John Kass|John Kass]]''' (born [[25 June]] [[1956]]) is an American columnist and former editorial board member for the ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'' and radio broadcaster.

{{journalist-stub}}
==Quotes==
*Who cares if [[Abortion|it]]'s [[legal]]? I don't care if it's legal. [[Slavery]] was legal once too, and not just in [[Americas|America]], but just about every other country in the world. The powerful have always legalized their subjugation of the less powerful.
**[http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-kass-planned-parenthood-met-0719-20150719-column.html &quot;Evil with salad and a nice red&quot;] (19 July 2015), ''Chicago Tribune'', Illinois

* Once a nation acknowledges publicly that it is corrupt, ... there is a weakening. A listlessness, a nihilism, where personal appetites and longings for celebrity outweigh what was once understood as common virtue.
** &quot;[[Hillary Clinton]] disqualifies herself,&quot; ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'', [http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-hillary-clinton-emails-comey-kass-0708-20160707-column.html (7 July 2016)]

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

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'''[[w:John Kass|John Kass]]''' (born [[25 June]] [[1956]]) is an American columnist and former editorial board member for the ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'' and radio broadcaster.

{{journalist-stub}}
==Quotes==
*Who cares if [[Abortion|it]]'s [[legal]]? I don't care if it's legal. [[Slavery]] was legal once too, and not just in [[Americas|America]], but just about every other country in the world. The powerful have always legalized their subjugation of the less powerful.
**[http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-kass-planned-parenthood-met-0719-20150719-column.html &quot;Evil with salad and a nice red&quot;] (19 July 2015), ''Chicago Tribune'', Illinois

* Once a nation acknowledges publicly that it is corrupt, ... there is a weakening. A listlessness, a nihilism, where personal appetites and longings for celebrity outweigh what was once understood as common virtue.
** &quot;[[Hillary Clinton]] disqualifies herself,&quot; ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'', [http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-hillary-clinton-emails-comey-kass-0708-20160707-column.html (7 July 2016)]

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

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      <text bytes="1372" xml:space="preserve">[[File:John Kass (2014-03-06).png|thumb|John Kass]]
'''[[w:John Kass|John Kass]]''' (born [[25 June]] [[1956]]) is an American columnist and former editorial board member for the ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'' and radio broadcaster.

{{journalist-stub}}
==Quotes==
*Who cares if [[Abortion|it]]'s [[legal]]? I don't care if it's legal. [[Slavery]] was legal once too, and not just in [[Americas|America]], but just about every other country in the world. The powerful have always legalized their subjugation of the less powerful.
**[http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-kass-planned-parenthood-met-0719-20150719-column.html &quot;Evil with salad and a nice red&quot;] (19 July 2015), ''Chicago Tribune'', Illinois

* Once a nation acknowledges publicly that it is corrupt, ... there is a weakening. A listlessness, a nihilism, where personal appetites and longings for celebrity outweigh what was once understood as common virtue.
** &quot;[[Hillary Clinton]] disqualifies herself,&quot; ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'', [http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-hillary-clinton-emails-comey-kass-0708-20160707-column.html (7 July 2016)]

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kass, John}}
[[Category:Columnists from the United States]]
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      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>added [[Category:Radio personalities]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1405" xml:space="preserve">[[File:John Kass (2014-03-06).png|thumb|John Kass]]
'''[[w:John Kass|John Kass]]''' (born [[25 June]] [[1956]]) is an American columnist and former editorial board member for the ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'' and radio broadcaster.

{{journalist-stub}}
==Quotes==
*Who cares if [[Abortion|it]]'s [[legal]]? I don't care if it's legal. [[Slavery]] was legal once too, and not just in [[Americas|America]], but just about every other country in the world. The powerful have always legalized their subjugation of the less powerful.
**[http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-kass-planned-parenthood-met-0719-20150719-column.html &quot;Evil with salad and a nice red&quot;] (19 July 2015), ''Chicago Tribune'', Illinois

* Once a nation acknowledges publicly that it is corrupt, ... there is a weakening. A listlessness, a nihilism, where personal appetites and longings for celebrity outweigh what was once understood as common virtue.
** &quot;[[Hillary Clinton]] disqualifies herself,&quot; ''[[w:Chicago Tribune|Chicago Tribune]]'', [http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/kass/ct-hillary-clinton-emails-comey-kass-0708-20160707-column.html (7 July 2016)]

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kass, John}}
[[Category:Columnists from the United States]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Chicago]]
[[Category:1956 births]]
[[Category:Radio personalities]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Devil and Daniel Webster (film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <id>3148991</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T12:34:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
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      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2341" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Devil and Daniel Webster (film)|The Devil and Daniel Webster]]''''' is a [[w:1941 in film|1941 film]] about a nineteenth-century New Hampshire farmer who makes a compact with Satan for economic success and then enlists Daniel Webster to extract him from his contract.
:''Directed by [[w:William Dieterle|William Dieterle]]. Written by [[w:Stephen Vincent Benét|Stephen Vincent Benét]] and Dan Totheroh, based on [[w:The Devil and Daniel Webster|the short story]] by [[w:Stephen Vincent Benét|Stephen Vincent Benét]].''

{{film-stub}}
== Dialogue ==
:'''Scratch''': Captain Kidd, he killed men for gold. Simon Girty, the renegade; he burned men for gold. Governor Dale, he broke men on the wheel. Asa, the Black Monk, he choked them to death. Floyd Ireson and Stede Bonnet, the fiendish butchers. Walter Butler, the king of the massacre. Big and Little Harpe, robbers and murderers. Teach, the cutthroat. Morton, the vicious lawyer. And General [[Benedict Arnold]], you remember him, no doubt.
:'''Daniel Webster''': A jury of the damned.
:'''Scratch''': Dastards, liars, traitors, knaves.
:'''Daniel Webster''': This is monstrous.
:'''Scratch''': You asked for a jury trial, Mr. Webster. Your suggestion – the quick or the dead.
:'''Daniel Webster''': I asked for a fair trial.
:'''Scratch''': Americans all.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Edward Arnold (actor)|Edward Arnold]] — Daniel Webster
* [[w:Walter Huston|Walter Huston]] — Mr. Scratch
* [[w:James Craig (actor)|James Craig]] — Jabez Stone
* [[w:Anne Shirley (actress)|Anne Shirley]] — Mary Stone
* [[w:Jane Darwell|Jane Darwell]] — Ma Stone
* [[w:Simone Simon|Simone Simon]] — Belle
* [[w:Gene Lockhart|Gene Lockhart]] — Squire Slossum
* [[w:John Qualen|John Qualen]] — Miser Stevens
* [[w:H. B. Warner|H. B. Warner]] — Justice John Hathorne
* Robert Pittard — Store Clerk
* [[w:Alec Craig|Alec Craig]] — Eli Higgins
* [[w:Jeff Corey|Jeff Corey]] — Tom Sharp

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|0033532}}
* {{Amg movie|13489}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|devil_and_daniel_webster}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Devil and Webster, The}}
[[Category:1941 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Films based on short fiction]]
[[Category:Works based on the Faust legend]]
[[Category:Fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films set in New Hampshire]]</text>
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      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="12269" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Devil and Daniel Webster (film)|The Devil and Daniel Webster]]''''' is a [[w:1941 in film|1941 film]] about a nineteenth-century New Hampshire farmer who makes a compact with Satan for economic success and then enlists Daniel Webster to extract him from his contract. The film's title was changed to '''''All That Money Can Buy''''' to avoid confusion with another film released by RKO that year, but later had the title restored on some prints.
:''Directed by [[w:William Dieterle|William Dieterle]]. Written by [[w:Stephen Vincent Benét|Stephen Vincent Benét]] and Dan Totheroh, based on [[w:The Devil and Daniel Webster|the short story]] by [[w:Stephen Vincent Benét|Stephen Vincent Benét]].''
&lt;center&gt;'''The drama of a man who traded all that love can offer for all that money can buy!'''&lt;/center&gt;

== Daniel Webster ==
* It is the eternal right of every man to raise his fist against his fate!

* Gentlemen of the jury, tonight it is my privilege to address a group of men I've long been acquainted with in song and story, but men I had never hoped to see. My worthy opponent, Mister Scratch, called you Americans all. Mister Scratch is right. You were Americans all. Oh, what a heritage you were born to share. Gentlemen of the jury, I envy you, for you were present at the birth of a mighty union. It was given to you to hear those first cries of pain and behold the shining babe, born of blood and tears. You are called upon tonight to judge a man named Jabez Stone. What is his case? He's accused of breach of contract. He made a deal to find a shortcut in his life, to get rich quickly, the same kind of a deal all of you once made. 

* You, [[Benedict Arnold]]. I speak to you first because you are better known than the rest of your colleagues here. What a different song yours could have been. A friend of [[George Washington|Washington]] and [[Lafayette]], a soldier. General Arnold, you fought so gallantly for the American cause till - let me see, what was the date? - seventeen seventy-nine. That date, burned in your heart. The lure of gold made you betray that cause. 

* I could go on and on and name you all but there's no need of that. Why stir the wounds? I know they pain enough. You were fooled like Jabez Stone, fooled and trapped in your desire to rebel against your fate. Gentlemen of the jury, it is the eternal right of every man to raise his fist against his fate. But when he does, these are crossroads. You took the wrong turn. So did Jabez Stone. But he found it out in time. He's here tonight to save his soul. Gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to give Jabez Stone another chance to walk upon this earth, among the trees, the growing corn, and the smell of grasses in the Spring. What would you all give for another chance to see those things you must all remember and often yearn to touch again? For you were all men once. Clean American air was in your lungs and you breathed it deeply. For it was free and blew across an earth you loved. These are common things I speak of, small things, but they are good things. Yet without your soul, they mean nothing. Without your soul, they sicken. 

* Mister Scratch once told you that your soul meant nothing. And you believed him. And you lost your freedom. [[Freedom]] isn't just a big word. It is the morning and the bread and the risen sun. It was for freedom we came to these shores in boats and ships. It was a long journey and a hard one and a bitter one. Yes, there is sadness in being a man... but it is a proud thing, too. And out of the suffering and the starvation and the wrong and the right, a new thing has come: a free man. And when the whips of the oppressors are broken and their names forgotten and destroyed, free men will be talking and walking under a free star. Yes, we have planted freedom in this earth like wheat. And we have said to the skies above us, &quot;A man shall own his own soul... &quot; Now, here is this man. He is your brother. You were Americans all. ''[points to the Devil]'' You can't be on his side, the side of the oppressor. Let Jabez Stone keep his soul, a soul which doesn't belong to him alone but to his family, his son, and his country. Gentlemen of the jury, don't let this country go to the devil. Free Jabez Stone. God bless the United States and the men who made her free.

== Other ==
* '''Ma Stone''': Now, Jabez Stone, as for what you're calling hard luck, we made New England out of it. That and cod fish.

== Dialogue ==
:''[Jabez Stone is examining Mr. Scratch's contract]''
:'''Jabez Stone''': What does it mean here, about my soul?
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Why should that worry you? A soul? A soul is nothing. Can you see it, smell it, touch it? No. This soul, ''your'' soul, are nothing against seven years of good luck. You'll have money and all that money can buy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ma Stone is reading out loud from the book of Job]''
:'''Mary Stone''': Give me the book, Ma. I'm going to read us something cheerful from the book of Ruth. That is, if you don't mind changing the lesson.
:'''Ma Stone''': Land sakes, I don't mind. I never did hold much with Job, even if he is scripture. Took on too much to suit me. Course I don't want to malign the man; but he always sounded to me like he come from Massachusetts.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jabez Stone''': You promised me happiness, love, and friendship!
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Just a minute. I promised you money and all that money could buy. I don't recall any other obligations.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jabez Stone''': Money's a funny thing ain't it, Ma?
:'''Ma Stone''': I figure it depends a mite on how you get it and how you spend it.
:'''Jabez Stone''': But I don't spend any.
:'''Ma Stone''': But you should, son. That's all it's good for.
:'''Jabez Stone''': Do you really think that?
:'''Ma Stone''': That's just common sense. Now a man like Daniel Webster: guess they pay him high for what he does, but he's worth it. And he helps others... makes all the difference.
:'''Jabez Stone''': I know. But suppose a man got his money in bad ways?
:'''Ma Stone''': Wouldn't profit him none. You see, son: I'm old and I've lived. When a man gets his money in bad way... when he sees the better course and takes the worse... then the devil's in his heart. And that fixes him.
:'''Jabez Stone''': And yet... a man could change all that couldn't he?
:'''Ma Stone''': A man can always change things. That's what makes him different from the barnyard critters.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Webster and Stone are waiting for Mr. Scratch]''
:'''Daniel Webster''': How long do we have to wait?
:'''Jabez Stone''': 'Til midnight.
:'''Daniel Webster''': Oh, that's fine - then we have time to christen a jug. Old Medford rum: aahh, there's nothing like it. You know, somehow or other, waiting becomes wonderfully shorter with a jug. I saw an inchworm once take a drop of this and he stood right up on his hind legs and bit a bee! ''[chuckles and takes a drink]'' Will you have a nip?
:'''Jabez Stone''': No, there's no joy in it for me.
:'''Daniel Webster''': Oh, come, come now. Just because you sold your soul to the devil that needn't make you a teetotaler.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Webster is examining the contract Mr. Scratch has with Stone]''
:'''Daniel Webster''': This appears - mind you, I say appears - to be properly drawn. But you shan't have this man. A man isn't a piece of property. Mr. Stone is an American citizen... and an American citizen cannot be forced into the service of a foreign prince.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Foreign? Who calls me a foreigner?
:'''Daniel Webster''': Well, I never heard of the de... I never heard of you claiming American citizenship.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': And who has a better right? When the first wrong was done to the first Indian, I was there. When the first slaver put out for the Congo, I stood on the deck. Am I not still spoken of in every church in New England? It's true the North claims me for a Southerner and the South for a Northerner, but I'm neither. Tell the truth, Mr. Webster - though I don't like to boast of it - my name is older in the country than yours.
:'''Daniel Webster''': Then I stand on the Constitution. I demand a trial for my client.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': You mean a jury trial?
:'''Daniel Webster''': I do! And if I can't win this case with a jury you'll have me, too. If two New Hampshire men aren't a match for the devil, we better give the country back to the Indians.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Scratch''': You shall have your trial, Mr. Webster. But I'm sure you'll agree, this is hardly the case for an ordinary jury.
:'''Daniel Webster''': Let it be the quick or the dead, so long as it is an American judge and an American jury!
:'''Mr. Scratch''': 'The quick or the dead!' You have said it. ''[he stomps on the barn floor; a door opens]'' You must pardon the leathery toughness of one or two.
:'''Jabez Stone''': ''[afraid]'' Mr. Webster!
:''[a line of ghosts begin entering from the trapdoor]''
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Captain Kidd, he killed men for gold. Simon Girty, the renegade; he burned men for gold. Governor Dale, he broke men on the wheel. Asa, the Black Monk, he choked them to death. Floyd Ireson and Stede Bonnet, the fiendish butchers. Walter Butler, the king of the massacre. Big and Little Harpe, robbers and murderers. Teach, the cutthroat. Morton, the vicious lawyer. And General [[Benedict Arnold]], you remember him, no doubt.
:'''Daniel Webster''': A jury of the damned.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': ''[laughs]'' Dastards, liars, traitors, knaves. 
:'''Daniel Webster''': This is monstrous.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': You asked for a jury trial, Mr. Webster. Your suggestion – the quick or the dead.
:'''Daniel Webster''': I asked for a fair trial.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Americans all.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jabez Stone''': What do you have on your mind?
:'''Daniel Webster''': You, Jabez Stone. You and a lot of poor farmers hereabouts... all good men of the earth and in trouble because of you. Or am I wrong about those contracts?
:'''Jabez Stone''': Without me and my money they wouldn't have anything.
:'''Daniel Webster''': They'd have a good neighbor - and that's worth more than anything else... much, much more.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Daniel Webster''': What are you looking for, Colonel? What's your name?
:'''Martin Van Buren Aldrich''': Martin Van Buren Aldrich. My pa is the only Democrat in Cross Corners. He said you had horns and a tail, Mr. Webster, but I ain't seen them yet.
:'''Daniel Webster''': ''[laughs]'' You see, Martin, I only wear them when I'm in Washington. That's the trouble. But if you ever get down there, I'll be glad to show them to you.
:'''Martin Van Buren Aldrich''': Gee, would you, Mr. Webster? Honest?
:'''Daniel Webster''': Of course! And you tell your father for me, that we may be on opposite sides of the fence, but I'm always glad to hear of a man who holds to his own opinion. As long as the people do that, this country is all right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Daniel Webster''': Oh, it's you again. What do you want?
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Well, with the presidential election coming up, I thought I could be of some help, sir.
:'''Daniel Webster''': I'd rather see you on the side of the opposition.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Oh, I'll be there, too.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Edward Arnold (actor)|Edward Arnold]] — Daniel Webster
* [[w:Walter Huston|Walter Huston]] — Mr. Scratch
* [[w:James Craig (actor)|James Craig]] — Jabez Stone
* [[w:Anne Shirley (actress)|Anne Shirley]] — Mary Stone
* [[w:Jane Darwell|Jane Darwell]] — Ma Stone
* [[w:Simone Simon|Simone Simon]] — Belle
* [[w:Gene Lockhart|Gene Lockhart]] — Squire Slossum
* [[w:John Qualen|John Qualen]] — Miser Stevens
* [[w:H. B. Warner|H. B. Warner]] — Justice John Hathorne
* Robert Pittard — Store Clerk
* [[w:Alec Craig|Alec Craig]] — Eli Higgins
* [[w:Jeff Corey|Jeff Corey]] — Tom Sharp

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|0033532}}
* {{Amg movie|13489}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|devil_and_daniel_webster}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Devil and Webster, The}}
[[Category:1941 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Films based on short fiction]]
[[Category:Works based on the Faust legend]]
[[Category:Fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films set in New Hampshire]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3148996</id>
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      <contributor>
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        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>added [[Category:The Devil in films]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12301" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Devil and Daniel Webster (film)|The Devil and Daniel Webster]]''''' is a [[w:1941 in film|1941 film]] about a nineteenth-century New Hampshire farmer who makes a compact with Satan for economic success and then enlists Daniel Webster to extract him from his contract. The film's title was changed to '''''All That Money Can Buy''''' to avoid confusion with another film released by RKO that year, but later had the title restored on some prints.
:''Directed by [[w:William Dieterle|William Dieterle]]. Written by [[w:Stephen Vincent Benét|Stephen Vincent Benét]] and Dan Totheroh, based on [[w:The Devil and Daniel Webster|the short story]] by [[w:Stephen Vincent Benét|Stephen Vincent Benét]].''
&lt;center&gt;'''The drama of a man who traded all that love can offer for all that money can buy!'''&lt;/center&gt;

== Daniel Webster ==
* It is the eternal right of every man to raise his fist against his fate!

* Gentlemen of the jury, tonight it is my privilege to address a group of men I've long been acquainted with in song and story, but men I had never hoped to see. My worthy opponent, Mister Scratch, called you Americans all. Mister Scratch is right. You were Americans all. Oh, what a heritage you were born to share. Gentlemen of the jury, I envy you, for you were present at the birth of a mighty union. It was given to you to hear those first cries of pain and behold the shining babe, born of blood and tears. You are called upon tonight to judge a man named Jabez Stone. What is his case? He's accused of breach of contract. He made a deal to find a shortcut in his life, to get rich quickly, the same kind of a deal all of you once made. 

* You, [[Benedict Arnold]]. I speak to you first because you are better known than the rest of your colleagues here. What a different song yours could have been. A friend of [[George Washington|Washington]] and [[Lafayette]], a soldier. General Arnold, you fought so gallantly for the American cause till - let me see, what was the date? - seventeen seventy-nine. That date, burned in your heart. The lure of gold made you betray that cause. 

* I could go on and on and name you all but there's no need of that. Why stir the wounds? I know they pain enough. You were fooled like Jabez Stone, fooled and trapped in your desire to rebel against your fate. Gentlemen of the jury, it is the eternal right of every man to raise his fist against his fate. But when he does, these are crossroads. You took the wrong turn. So did Jabez Stone. But he found it out in time. He's here tonight to save his soul. Gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to give Jabez Stone another chance to walk upon this earth, among the trees, the growing corn, and the smell of grasses in the Spring. What would you all give for another chance to see those things you must all remember and often yearn to touch again? For you were all men once. Clean American air was in your lungs and you breathed it deeply. For it was free and blew across an earth you loved. These are common things I speak of, small things, but they are good things. Yet without your soul, they mean nothing. Without your soul, they sicken. 

* Mister Scratch once told you that your soul meant nothing. And you believed him. And you lost your freedom. [[Freedom]] isn't just a big word. It is the morning and the bread and the risen sun. It was for freedom we came to these shores in boats and ships. It was a long journey and a hard one and a bitter one. Yes, there is sadness in being a man... but it is a proud thing, too. And out of the suffering and the starvation and the wrong and the right, a new thing has come: a free man. And when the whips of the oppressors are broken and their names forgotten and destroyed, free men will be talking and walking under a free star. Yes, we have planted freedom in this earth like wheat. And we have said to the skies above us, &quot;A man shall own his own soul... &quot; Now, here is this man. He is your brother. You were Americans all. ''[points to the Devil]'' You can't be on his side, the side of the oppressor. Let Jabez Stone keep his soul, a soul which doesn't belong to him alone but to his family, his son, and his country. Gentlemen of the jury, don't let this country go to the devil. Free Jabez Stone. God bless the United States and the men who made her free.

== Other ==
* '''Ma Stone''': Now, Jabez Stone, as for what you're calling hard luck, we made New England out of it. That and cod fish.

== Dialogue ==
:''[Jabez Stone is examining Mr. Scratch's contract]''
:'''Jabez Stone''': What does it mean here, about my soul?
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Why should that worry you? A soul? A soul is nothing. Can you see it, smell it, touch it? No. This soul, ''your'' soul, are nothing against seven years of good luck. You'll have money and all that money can buy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ma Stone is reading out loud from the book of Job]''
:'''Mary Stone''': Give me the book, Ma. I'm going to read us something cheerful from the book of Ruth. That is, if you don't mind changing the lesson.
:'''Ma Stone''': Land sakes, I don't mind. I never did hold much with Job, even if he is scripture. Took on too much to suit me. Course I don't want to malign the man; but he always sounded to me like he come from Massachusetts.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jabez Stone''': You promised me happiness, love, and friendship!
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Just a minute. I promised you money and all that money could buy. I don't recall any other obligations.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jabez Stone''': Money's a funny thing ain't it, Ma?
:'''Ma Stone''': I figure it depends a mite on how you get it and how you spend it.
:'''Jabez Stone''': But I don't spend any.
:'''Ma Stone''': But you should, son. That's all it's good for.
:'''Jabez Stone''': Do you really think that?
:'''Ma Stone''': That's just common sense. Now a man like Daniel Webster: guess they pay him high for what he does, but he's worth it. And he helps others... makes all the difference.
:'''Jabez Stone''': I know. But suppose a man got his money in bad ways?
:'''Ma Stone''': Wouldn't profit him none. You see, son: I'm old and I've lived. When a man gets his money in bad way... when he sees the better course and takes the worse... then the devil's in his heart. And that fixes him.
:'''Jabez Stone''': And yet... a man could change all that couldn't he?
:'''Ma Stone''': A man can always change things. That's what makes him different from the barnyard critters.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Webster and Stone are waiting for Mr. Scratch]''
:'''Daniel Webster''': How long do we have to wait?
:'''Jabez Stone''': 'Til midnight.
:'''Daniel Webster''': Oh, that's fine - then we have time to christen a jug. Old Medford rum: aahh, there's nothing like it. You know, somehow or other, waiting becomes wonderfully shorter with a jug. I saw an inchworm once take a drop of this and he stood right up on his hind legs and bit a bee! ''[chuckles and takes a drink]'' Will you have a nip?
:'''Jabez Stone''': No, there's no joy in it for me.
:'''Daniel Webster''': Oh, come, come now. Just because you sold your soul to the devil that needn't make you a teetotaler.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Webster is examining the contract Mr. Scratch has with Stone]''
:'''Daniel Webster''': This appears - mind you, I say appears - to be properly drawn. But you shan't have this man. A man isn't a piece of property. Mr. Stone is an American citizen... and an American citizen cannot be forced into the service of a foreign prince.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Foreign? Who calls me a foreigner?
:'''Daniel Webster''': Well, I never heard of the de... I never heard of you claiming American citizenship.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': And who has a better right? When the first wrong was done to the first Indian, I was there. When the first slaver put out for the Congo, I stood on the deck. Am I not still spoken of in every church in New England? It's true the North claims me for a Southerner and the South for a Northerner, but I'm neither. Tell the truth, Mr. Webster - though I don't like to boast of it - my name is older in the country than yours.
:'''Daniel Webster''': Then I stand on the Constitution. I demand a trial for my client.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': You mean a jury trial?
:'''Daniel Webster''': I do! And if I can't win this case with a jury you'll have me, too. If two New Hampshire men aren't a match for the devil, we better give the country back to the Indians.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Scratch''': You shall have your trial, Mr. Webster. But I'm sure you'll agree, this is hardly the case for an ordinary jury.
:'''Daniel Webster''': Let it be the quick or the dead, so long as it is an American judge and an American jury!
:'''Mr. Scratch''': 'The quick or the dead!' You have said it. ''[he stomps on the barn floor; a door opens]'' You must pardon the leathery toughness of one or two.
:'''Jabez Stone''': ''[afraid]'' Mr. Webster!
:''[a line of ghosts begin entering from the trapdoor]''
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Captain Kidd, he killed men for gold. Simon Girty, the renegade; he burned men for gold. Governor Dale, he broke men on the wheel. Asa, the Black Monk, he choked them to death. Floyd Ireson and Stede Bonnet, the fiendish butchers. Walter Butler, the king of the massacre. Big and Little Harpe, robbers and murderers. Teach, the cutthroat. Morton, the vicious lawyer. And General [[Benedict Arnold]], you remember him, no doubt.
:'''Daniel Webster''': A jury of the damned.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': ''[laughs]'' Dastards, liars, traitors, knaves. 
:'''Daniel Webster''': This is monstrous.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': You asked for a jury trial, Mr. Webster. Your suggestion – the quick or the dead.
:'''Daniel Webster''': I asked for a fair trial.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Americans all.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jabez Stone''': What do you have on your mind?
:'''Daniel Webster''': You, Jabez Stone. You and a lot of poor farmers hereabouts... all good men of the earth and in trouble because of you. Or am I wrong about those contracts?
:'''Jabez Stone''': Without me and my money they wouldn't have anything.
:'''Daniel Webster''': They'd have a good neighbor - and that's worth more than anything else... much, much more.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Daniel Webster''': What are you looking for, Colonel? What's your name?
:'''Martin Van Buren Aldrich''': Martin Van Buren Aldrich. My pa is the only Democrat in Cross Corners. He said you had horns and a tail, Mr. Webster, but I ain't seen them yet.
:'''Daniel Webster''': ''[laughs]'' You see, Martin, I only wear them when I'm in Washington. That's the trouble. But if you ever get down there, I'll be glad to show them to you.
:'''Martin Van Buren Aldrich''': Gee, would you, Mr. Webster? Honest?
:'''Daniel Webster''': Of course! And you tell your father for me, that we may be on opposite sides of the fence, but I'm always glad to hear of a man who holds to his own opinion. As long as the people do that, this country is all right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Daniel Webster''': Oh, it's you again. What do you want?
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Well, with the presidential election coming up, I thought I could be of some help, sir.
:'''Daniel Webster''': I'd rather see you on the side of the opposition.
:'''Mr. Scratch''': Oh, I'll be there, too.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Edward Arnold (actor)|Edward Arnold]] — Daniel Webster
* [[w:Walter Huston|Walter Huston]] — Mr. Scratch
* [[w:James Craig (actor)|James Craig]] — Jabez Stone
* [[w:Anne Shirley (actress)|Anne Shirley]] — Mary Stone
* [[w:Jane Darwell|Jane Darwell]] — Ma Stone
* [[w:Simone Simon|Simone Simon]] — Belle
* [[w:Gene Lockhart|Gene Lockhart]] — Squire Slossum
* [[w:John Qualen|John Qualen]] — Miser Stevens
* [[w:H. B. Warner|H. B. Warner]] — Justice John Hathorne
* Robert Pittard — Store Clerk
* [[w:Alec Craig|Alec Craig]] — Eli Higgins
* [[w:Jeff Corey|Jeff Corey]] — Tom Sharp

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|0033532}}
* {{Amg movie|13489}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|devil_and_daniel_webster}}

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[[Category:Films set in New Hampshire]]
[[Category:The Devil in films]]</text>
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    <title>Moana (2016 film)</title>
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'''''[[w:Moana (2016 film)|Moana]]''''' is a 2016 American 3D computer-animated musical fantasy adventure film produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Animation Studios]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]]. It is the 56th Disney animated feature film. The film is directed by [[w:Ron Clements|Ron Clements]] and [[w:John Musker|John Musker]], and co-directed by [[w:Don Hall (filmmaker)|Don Hall]] and [[w:Chris Williams (director)|Chris Williams]]. The film features music written by [[w:Lin-Manuel Miranda|Lin-Manuel Miranda]], [[w:Te Vaka|Opetaia Foa'i]] and [[w:Mark Mancina|Mark Mancina]].

The film tells the story of Moana, the strong-willed daughter of the chief of a [[w:Polynesian|Polynesian]] tribe, who is chosen by the ocean itself to reunite a mystical relic with a goddess. When a blight strikes her island, Moana sets sail in search of Maui, a legendary demigod, in hopes to save her people.

''Moana'' was released theatrically in the United States on November 23, 2016.

==Moana==
* ''[to the Ocean]'' Um...What?! I said &quot;help me&quot;, and wrecking my boat...? Not helping! ''[she kicks, but the Ocean recedes, causing her to fall on her back]'' Fish pee in you...all day! So... ''[grunts in irritation]''
* I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat, sail across the sea, and restore the heart of Te Fiti! The ocean chose me!

&lt;br/&gt;I've been standing at the edge of water&lt;br/&gt; longer than I can remember,&lt;br/&gt;No matter how hard I try.&lt;br/&gt;I wish I could be a perfect daughter,&lt;br/&gt;But I come back to the water,&lt;br/&gt;No matter how hard I try.&lt;br/&gt;Every step I take,&lt;br/&gt;Every track I tracked,&lt;br/&gt;Every day leads back to the place I know that I cannot go!&lt;br/&gt;What is wrong with me?&lt;br/&gt;I see the wind in the sail and the sea and it calls me.&lt;br/&gt;And no one knows&lt;br/&gt;How far it goes&lt;br/&gt;I'll be sailing through the seas in time no more&lt;br/&gt;I know everybody on this island lives so happy in this island,&lt;br/&gt;Everything is by design,&lt;br/&gt;I wish I could go back to the water,&lt;br/&gt;But I know I cannot go.&lt;br/&gt;Every step I take,&lt;br/&gt;Every track I track,&lt;br/&gt;Every day leads back to the place I know that I cannot go,&lt;br/&gt;I am going in&lt;br/&gt;See the wind in my sail and sea,&lt;br/&gt;I'll call through,&lt;br/&gt;And no one knows how far it goes!&lt;br/&gt;

==Maui==
* ''[from trailer]'' What's a demigod gotta do?
* ''[offscreen]'' I am still falling!
* If you start singing, I'm gonna throw up. 
* You're welcome.
* ''[to Mini-Maui]'' No mortal's gonna jump into the Realm of... ''[Moana lands on him, bounces off of him and tumbles down a cliff]'' Well, she's dead.

==Dialogue==

:''[While trying to sail beyond the reef into the open sea, Moana gets her boat wrecked and her foot jammed in the corals and bruised. Washed back onto the shore, Moana is spotted by Gramma]''
:'''Gramma''': Whatever just happened, blame it on the pig.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Moana''': ''[to Gramma]'' ...Why are you acting weird?
:'''Gramma''': I'm a village's crazy lady. That's my job.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Villager''': ''[blowing horn to alarm Tui]'' Chief! It's your mother! ''[Tui and Moana run back to Tala's home where she is laid on the ground with a blanket]''
:'''Tui''': ''[shocked]'' Mother. ''[sighs]'' What can be done?
:'''Villager''': I don't know.
:'''Gramma''': ''[weakly]'' Go.
:'''Moana''': ''[tears up]'' Gramma?
:'''Gramma''': Go.
:'''Moana''': Not now. I can't.
:'''Gramma''': You must. The ocean chose you. Follow the fish hook...
:'''Moana''': Gramma.
:'''Gramma''': ''[continues]'' And when you find Maui, you grab him by his ear. You say...I am Moana of Motunui! You will board my boat, sail across the sea, and restore the heart of Te Fiti! 
:'''Moana''': ''[tearing up more]'' I can't leave you.
:'''Gramma''': There is nowhere you could go where I won't be with you. Go.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Moana''': ''[Clears throat]'' Maui, shapeshifter, demigod of the wind and sea. I am Moana of–
:'''Maui''': Hero of men.
:'''Moana''': ''[confused]'' W-what?
:'''Maui''': It's actually &quot;Maui, shapeshifter, demigod of the wind and sea, hero of men&quot;. I interrupted. From the top. &quot;Hero of men.&quot; Go.
:'''Moana''': ''[pause]'' I am Moana of–
:'''Maui''': Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. &quot;And women.&quot; &quot;Men ''and'' women.&quot; Both. All. Not a &quot;guy/girl&quot; thing. You know, Maui is a hero to ''all''. You're doing great.
:'''Moana''': ''[pointing at Maui with her oar]'' What? No! I'm here to–
:'''Maui''': Oh! Of course! Of course! Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Maui always has time for his fans. ''[Maui takes Moana's oar, and pulls Heihei out of the sand. He uses Heihei's beak to sign the oar]'' When you use a bird to write with, it's called [[w:Twitter|tweeting]]. ''[throws Heihei over his shoulder and hands the oar back to Moana]'' Huh? I know. Not every day you get a chance to meet your hero.
:''[Moana, after looking at her oar, uses it to hit Maui in the gut. Maui bends over, and Moana grabs him by the ear.]''
:'''Moana''': You are ''not'' my hero, and I'm not here so you can sign my oar! I'm here because you stole the heart of Te Fiti...and you will board my boat and sail across the sea and put it back!
:'''Maui''': Um...Yeah. You almost sounded like you don’t like me which is impossible because I got stuck here for 1,000 years trying to get the heart as a gift for you mortals. So you can have the power to create life itself. Yeah. So what I believe you are trying to say is Thank You.
:'''Moana''': Thank you?!
:'''Maui''': You’re welcome.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Maui''': ''[from trailer]'' Do you know who Maui is? Only the greatest demi-god of all the Pacific Islands! With his magic fish hook, he slowed down the sun! Pulled islands out of the sea! Battled monsters! And I should know... because I'm Maui. ''[to Mini Maui tattoo]'' Hey! Let me do this please.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Moana''': Teach me to sail!
:'''Maui''': Pfft.
:'''Moana''': My job is to deliver Maui across the great ocean. I should– ''[she nearly falls over, but catches herself] I'' should be sailing.
:'''Maui''': It's called &quot;wayfinding&quot;, princess, and it's not just sails and knots, it's seeing where you're going in your ''mind''. Knowing where you are by knowing where you've ''been''.  
:'''Moana''': Okay, first, I'm not a princess. I'm the daughter of the chief. 
:'''Maui''': Same difference. 
:'''Moana''': No.
:'''Maui''': [[w:Disney Princess|If you wear a dress and have an animal sidekick, you're a princess.]] You are not a wayfinder. You will never be a wayfinder. You will never be a way... ''[paused by the ocean putting a blow dart on his butt cheek and faints]'' Really? [[w:Blow dart|Blow dart]] to my butt cheek? You are a bad person.
:'''Moana''': If you can talk, you can teach. Wayfinding. Lesson one. Hit it. 
:'''Maui''': ''[groans]'' Pull the sheet. [Moana selects a line]. Not the sheet.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Moana, who is covered in sparkling seashells, is snatched up by Tamatoa]''
:'''Tamatoa''': Oohoo hoo hoo hoo...What have we here? It's a sparkly shiny...Wait a minute. ''[tosses Moana into the air, making her lose the seashells covering her]'' Ugh...It's a human! What're you doing down here in the Realm of the Mons–? ''[Tamatoa's eyes are twitching, causing Moana to look back and forth between them]'' Just pick an eye, babe. I can't...I can't concentrate on what I'm saying if you keep- Yeah, pick one. ''Pick one!''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Maui''': ''[cannonballing into the Realm of Monsters]'' I am still falling!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Moana''': Are you okay? ''[Maui doesn't respond]'' Maui?
:''[Maui turns around and shows Moana his cracked hook]''
:'''Maui''': ''[upset]'' I told you to turn back.
:'''Moana''': I thought we could make it.
:'''Maui''': &quot;''We''&quot;?
:'''Moana''': I thought...''I'' could make it. We can fix it.
:'''Maui''': It was made by the Gods. You can't ''fix'' it!
:'''Moana''': Next time, we'll be more careful. Te Kā was stuck on the barrier islands. It's lava. It can't go in the water. We can find another way around.
:'''Maui''': I'm not going back.
:'''Moana''': What...? We still have to restore the heart.
:'''Maui''': My hook is cracked. One more hit and it's over.
:'''Moana''': Maui, you have to restore the heart!
:'''Maui''': Without my hook, I am nothing.
:'''Moana''': That's not true.
:'''Maui''': ''[angrily shouts]'' '''WITHOUT MY HOOK, I AM NOTHING!!!'''
:''[Moana is scared from his shouting, Maui drops the heart of Te Fiti on the boat, but Moana picks it up]''
:'''Moana''': We are only here because ''you'' stole the heart in the first place!
:'''Maui''': No, we're here because the ocean told you you’re special and you believed it.
:'''Moana''': ''[with courage]'' I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat...
:'''Maui''': ''[deadpan]'' Goodbye, Moana.
:'''Moana''': Sail across the sea...
:'''Maui''': I'm not killing myself, so you can prove you’re something you're not!
:'''Moana''': And restore the heart of Te Fiti! The ocean chose ''me!''
:'''Maui''': They chose wrong. ''[Maui transforms are not working]'' Ugh! Stupid hook! ''[Maui transforms himself into a hawk and flies away]''
:'''Moana''': Maui! ''[Maui ignores her and gives up as the ocean heard what happened]'' Why did you bring me here? ''[pauses]'' I'm not the right person. ''[gives the heart of Te-fiti to the ocean]'' You have to choose someone else. ''[heartbroken]'' Choose someone else, please. ''[the ocean takes it, falls through the bottom of the ocean, and Moana starts to cry until she sees a light glowing up that happens to be her now-deceased grandmother as the Manta Ray]''
:'''Gramma''': ''[offscreen]'' You're a long ways past the reef.
:'''Moana''': ''[shocked]'' Gramma?
:'''Gramma''': ''[smiles]'' Guess I chose the right tattoo.
:'''Moana''': Gramma! ''[runs to her and hugs her]'' I tried Gramma, I couldn't do it. ''[still crying]''
:'''Gramma''': ''[forgives her]'' It's not your fault. I never should've put so much on your shoulders. If you are ready to go home, I will be there with you. 

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Maui''': ''[packing up supplies]'' Gonna miss you, drumsticks.
:'''Moana''': You can come with us you know. My people are going to need [[w:wayfinder|a master wayfinder.]]
:'''Maui''': They already have one. ''[shows a picture of the master wayfinder on his chest]''
:'''Moana''': ''[close to tears and hugs Maui]'' See you out there Maui.
:'''Maui''': See you out there Moana. CHEE-HOO! ''[transforms into a giant hawk while letting out guysers of water and Moana travels back to her island while it's restoring energy while Sina and Tui see a boat with Moana coming back]''
:'''Moana''': Mom! Dad! ''[comes further to land]''
:'''Sina''': ''[offscreen]'' Moana! ''[hugs Moana]''
:'''Moana''': ''[apologizes]'' I may have gone a little ways past the reef by myself.
:'''Tui''': ''[chuckles]'' It suits you. ''[Villagers come back to reunite with Moana]''
:'''Villager 1''': ''[offscreen]'' She's back! 
:'''Villager 2''': ''[offscreen]'' Moana! ''[Pua runs to Moana]''
:'''Moana''': Pua! ''[hugs Moana]'' 
:'''Villager''': Welcome home! ''[as Hei Hei was about to go to the ocean it stops him and turns him around walking to the villagers as the scene cuts to the villagers pulling the boat for a long journey. Before Moana makes a move, she finds a shell from the ocean and puts it on top of the stone and as they move, Moana [[w: Education|shows the villagers  the ropes of wayfinding]], the Manta Ray (which is also Gramma Tala) comes as Moana feels the current and takes a look at her people such as the giant hawk (which is Maui) and takes a look at the new island before cutting to [[w:Moana (2016 film)|the main title]]]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[In the end-credits scene]''
:''[Last lines]''
:'''Tamatoa''': Shiny, I'm so shiny...Didn't help me though did it. Still upside-down here. Just need a little push. ''[sighs]'' Can we be real? If my name was [[w:Sebastian (The Little Mermaid)|Sebastian]] and I had a cool Jamaican accent, you'd totally help me. You would. You know you would. ''[fades to black]''

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Auli'i Cravalho|Auli'i Cravalho]] as Moana Waialiki
**Louise Bush as Young Moana
* [[Dwayne Johnson]] as Maui
* [[w:Rachel House (actress)|Rachel House]] as Gramma Tala
* [[w:Temuera Morrison|Temuera Morrison]] as Chief Tui Waialiki
**[[w:Christopher Jackson (actor)|Christopher Jackson]] (Singing Voice, Uncredited)
* [[w:Nicole Scherzinger|Nicole Scherzinger]] as Sina Waialiki
**Phillip Soo (Singing Voice, Unspecified Villager, Uncredited)
* [[w:Jemaine Clement|Jemaine Clement]] as Tamatoa
* [[w:Alan Tudyk|Alan Tudyk]] as Heihei
* [[w:Oscar Kightley|Oscar Kightley]] as [[w:Fisherman|Fisherman]]
* [[w:Troy Polamalu|Troy Polamalu]], Puanani Cravalho and [[w:Alan Tudyk|Alan Tudyk]] as Villagers of Motunui
==External links==
{{Wikipedia|Moana (2016 film)}}

[[Category:2016 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Coming-of-age films]]
[[Category:Seafaring films]]
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  <page>
    <title>Debbie Reynolds</title>
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      <text bytes="6586" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Debbie Reynolds 33.jpg|thumb| I was a [[simple]] kid who was thrown into the [[wonderful]] [[world]] of show business. I've [[loved]] every [[moment]].]]
'''[[w:Debbie Reynolds|Mary Frances &quot;Debbie&quot; Reynolds]]''' ([[1 April]] [[1932]] – [[28 December]] [[2016]]) was an American actress, singer, businesswoman, film historian, and humanitarian. She was the mother of actress and writer [[Carrie Fisher]].

== Quotes ==
* I do a lot of things wrong. I lose my temper, and I hate waiting in line, but do I take drugs? No. '''Do I run around deploring the world? No. I'm just not into it.''' I was brought up that way.
** As quoted in [http://www.interviewmagazine.com/film/new-again-debbie-reynolds/&quot;Drunch with Debbie and Tinker&quot; by Tinkerbelle (Jeri Lee Veronica Visser), in ''Interview'' magazine (September 1976)]

* I’m not as intellectual as my daughter. She says bigger words than I … I don’t even know what they mean… But she’s so amusing to me and it’s wonderful to be around her.
** As quoted in [http://people.com/movies/how-debbie-reynolds-and-carrie-fisher-reconciled-after-a-turbulent-past/ &quot;How Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher Reconciled After a Turbulent Past&quot; By Mike Miller, in ''People'' (29 December 2016)]

*Old age is a wonderful time of life…At least, that’s what everyone tells you. But let me tell you: it is not true. What’s true is that your hips, knees and ankles gradually give up on you – everything is quite dreadful, really. And it was a terrible thing to have told us…because we believed it.
**On the lie of growing old gracefully in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/films/0/debbie-reynolds-interview-movies-failed-marriages-woman-should/ “Debbie Reynolds interview: movies, failed marriages, and why a woman should be 'like a treasure chest'”] in The Telegraph (2016 Dec 29)

*What Gene taught me was tremendous discipline and never give up and you're never good enough…He believed that I could do it, but I never danced before Singin' in the Rain, and I had to learn to dance. Months I was locked in a soundstage to get me -- never equal -- but up at least to cut the role.
**On the lessons she learned from costar Gene Kelly (as quoted in [https://www.etonline.com/news/206086_debbie_reynolds_recalls_poor_upbringing_and_how_gene_kelly_helped_her_career_early_et_interviews “FLASHBACK: Debbie Reynolds Recalls Poor Upbringing and How Gene Kelly Helped Her Career in Early ET Interviews”] (ET Online; 2016 Dec 29)

*I just think my life's been really blessed, because being in show business I've met wonderful people and I've traveled all over the world…I ain't down yet, and I've had a wonderful life, and I still have more life to go.
**On being in show business (as quoted in [https://www.etonline.com/news/206086_debbie_reynolds_recalls_poor_upbringing_and_how_gene_kelly_helped_her_career_early_et_interviews “FLASHBACK: Debbie Reynolds Recalls Poor Upbringing and How Gene Kelly Helped Her Career in Early ET Interviews”] (ET Online; 2016 Dec 29)

*I don't think you can ever be bitter about anything, because if you don't allow your heart to stay open, then all you have is a filled heart of hate and bitterness, and you're never able to love or like anybody…
**On staying optimistic (as quoted in [https://www.etonline.com/news/206086_debbie_reynolds_recalls_poor_upbringing_and_how_gene_kelly_helped_her_career_early_et_interviews “FLASHBACK: Debbie Reynolds Recalls Poor Upbringing and How Gene Kelly Helped Her Career in Early ET Interviews”] (ET Online; 2016 Dec 29)

* Thank you to everyone who has embraced the gifts and talents of my beloved and amazing daughter. I am grateful for your thoughts and prayers that are now guiding her to her next stop. Love Carries Mother
** [https://www.facebook.com/thedebbiereynolds/posts/811585312313920 Post to Facebook (27 December 2016)]

* I miss her so much, I want to be with Carrie.
** Statement to her son, Todd Fisher, a few hours before her death, as reported in [http://people.com/movies/debbie-reynolds-last-words-were-carrie-fisher/ &quot;Debbie Reynolds' Last Words: 'I Want to Be with Carrie,' Son Says&quot; by Alexia Fernandez, in ''People'' magazine (29 December 2016)]

=== ''Unsinkable : A Memoir'' (2013) ===
[[File:Singin' in the Rain trailer.jpg|thumb|These are my recollections. If you [[remember]] things differently, send me your version — but only if it’s [[funnier]].]]

* '''I was a [[simple]] kid who was thrown into the [[wonderful]] [[world]] of show business. I've [[loved]] every [[moment]]. '''&lt;br /&gt; These are my recollections. If you remember things differently, send me your version — but only if it’s funnier.
** Preface

* What do you do do when your heart says one thing and your head, and your lawyer, says another? I was a romantic. I put my whole heart on the line when I love someone. ... I don't think like a thief so I never see this quality in others until it's too late.
** Chapter 16. Bottoming Out in Beverley Hills

* Faith is a powerful thing to have in your repertory. ... Certainly, I'd felt despair, sometimes so much that I thought it would be easier to die. But my family and my faith have sustained me until, when I least expected it, life picked me up again.
** Chapter 18. Family and Faith

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* {{IMDb name|0001666}}
* {{Official website|http://www.debbiereynolds.com}}
* {{worldcat id|lccn-n84-167001}}
* [http://www.hmpc.tv Debbie Reynolds' Hollywood Motion Picture Museum website]
* [http://www.tvguide.com/celebrities/debbie-reynolds/146836 Debbie Reynolds] at TVGuide.com
* [http://blog.milestonebroadcasting.com/2009/08/17/big-band-files-wdoug-miles-wguest-debbie-reynolds.aspx Radio appearance WSRQ &quot;Big Band Files w/Doug Miles]
* [http://film.virtual-history.com/person.php?personid=6640 Photographs and literature]
* [http://www.emmys.com/celebrities/debbie-reynolds Debbie Reynolds] at Emmys.com
* [http://awardsdatabase.oscars.org/ The Official Academy Awards Database]: Type &quot;Debbie Reynolds&quot; at the Nominee box

{{DEFAULTSORT:Reynolds, Debbie}}
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[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]
[[Category:Historians from the United States]]
[[Category:Autobiographers from the United States]]
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[[Category:Women authors]]</text>
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    <title>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) (season 2)</title>
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    <id>194158</id>
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      <parentid>3146402</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:32:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>209.141.185.100</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Mutagen Man Unleashed */</comment>
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'''Seasons:''' [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) (season 1)|1]] / '''2''' /  [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) (season 3)|3]] / [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) (season 4)|4]] / [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) (season 5)|5: Tales of the TMNT]] | [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)|Main]]

-------------------------------

The following is a list of quotes from the second season of the 2012 series ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''.

==Episodes 27–52==

===The Mutation Situation===


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Leonardo:''' It seems like you been avoiding us lately, April.
:'''April:''' It's not my fault. Dad's alien abduction nightmares are getting worse. He barely let's me out of the house.
:'''Kirby O'Neil:''' I'm sorry, April. It's just... What if the Kraang are still out there? I'll do anything to protect you.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donnie''': Butt Cannons? IT HAS BUTT CANNONS?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Raph:''' Can this night get any worse?!
:'''Leo:''' Guys, I think that mutant was Mr. O'Neil. (So you're right, Raph.)
:'''Mikey:''' How could you tell?
:'''Leo:''' You see many giant, red-bearded, middle-aged bats running lately?
:'''Donnie:''' We gotta go after her!
:'''Raph:''' But what about all that mutagen? We got canisters spread all over the city!
:'''Leo:''' It's gonna have to wait, Raph. April's dad comes first. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mikey''': Time for Turflytle to take out his arch-nemesis, Wingnut!
:'''Donnie''': You are NOT giving Mr. O'Neil a monster name!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Back in Shredder's lair]''
:'''Shredder:''' Where is my mutagen, creature?
:'''Kraang:''' The complications became overly complicated. The ones known as the turtles stopped the shipment. Kraang will make amends.
:'''Shredder:''' These creatures are useless. It is time to expand my army, On my own. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Splinter:''' This is all very grave news. Very grave, indeed.
:'''Donnie:''' I can't believe this is happening. Poor April.
:'''Splinter:''' Do not dwell on the past. (April can wait.) You must find every last canister of mutagen. You must search every street, every park and playground, every building and rooftop... before we have even more mutants on our hands.

===Invasion of the Squirrelanoids===
:'''Mikey''': Bros, brace for grossness!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Splinter''': I do not want to say I was right, but... I was right.

===Follow the Leader===
: '''Karai:''' You know, I bet I'd make a small fortune if I sold you to a science lab. Could you imagine the press? &quot;Talking Ninja Turtle found in sewer.&quot;
: '''Leonardo:''' Great. Captured and now totally humiliated. Awesome day, Leo. Awesome day.
: '''Karai:''' You deserve everything you're getting, Leo! After you betrayed me last time!
[Karai snaps her fingers and Footbots sit in position around the cage.]
: '''Karai:''' Don't you love it? My new robotic Foot Bots follow my orders to a &quot;T.&quot; No arguing, no prodding. They do whatever I want. Cool, right?
: '''Leonardo:''' Yeah, convenient. Nice.
: '''Karai:''' I've been teaching the Foot Bots new skills, but now I'm turning the training over to someone new.
[Karai frees Leo and gives him his swords.]
: '''Karai:''' Footbots, de-shell him!

Foot bots, de-shell him! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Leonardo:''' I'm sorry to bother you, Master Splinter. I need to ask you some questions- about Karai.
: '''Splinter:''' It is late, Leonardo. These questions will have to wait for another time.
: '''Leonardo:''' She said you took her mother away from her. I know it's not true, right?
: '''Splinter:''' No. It is not true. But the truth is just as difficult.
: '''Leonardo:''' Please, sensei, tell me. Trust me.
: '''Splinter:''' Karai... is my daughter.

===Mutagen Man Unleashed===
:''[Mikey is watching a show on TV.]''
:'''Princess Zee''': Oh, no! Super bad times for all!
:'''Captain Coolstar''': Does great danger arrive? Where?
:'''Dr. Blip''': Kill-beast-bots from planet seven are here with steely resolve! Captain Coolstar, what are we going to do? [gets smacked by Coolstar] Ow!
:'''Coolstar''': Get a hold of yourself, man!
:''[Squeakums whimpers.]''
:'''Lunk''': Don't worry, Squeakums. We'll blast 'em with mighty super robo mecha!
:'''Coolstar''': Team! Combine in teamwork mode!
:'''All''': Super! Robo! Mecha! Force! Five! Team! Five! Go!
:'''Raph''': What the heck is this nonsense?! It's terrible!
:'''Mikey''': Terribly awesome! I found these old tapes in a dumpster.
:'''Leo''': Tapes?
:'''Mikey''': Check it out.
:'''Leo''': Dude, this is awful. And you guys complained about Space Heroes.
:'''Raph''': Their lips don't even match what they're saying! I could never watch a show this bad!
:''[Later, all four turtles are addicted to the show.]''
:'''Zee''': ''[On TV]'' There are too many of them, captain!
:'''Raph''': So she's the princess of an ''entire'' planet? Cool!
:'''Lunk''': [On TV]: Engage lasertron fury!
:'''Mikey''': Yep, and she also pilots the robot's left leg. She rules! But that scientist dude made the robot.
:'''Donnie''': The story has such an intricate, layered plot. Four stars!
:'''Blip''': ''[On TV]'' P-p-princess, I'd like to invite you for space dinner, if you please. Yes?
:'''Zee''': What?! I, date a weakling like you?! ''[walks away]'' Not for 10,000 Zarkon crystals!
:''[Leo, Raph, and Mikey laugh.]''
:'''Mikey''': Donnie, that is so you and April, dude!
:'''Donnie''': IT IS NOT! This show is lame, anyway. The plot makes zero sense! ''[heads into his lab]'' I'll be in the lab.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mikey:''' ''[after a stealth attack from Leo]'' What was ''that''?
:'''Leo:''' THAT, was a stealth attack. ''[eats pizza]'' And that is what we're gonna be doing in today's training session.
:'''Mikey:''' No fair! I couldn't see you coming!
:'''Raph:''' That's why it's called 'stealth', genius.
:'''Donnie:''' Why would you eat a slice of pizza you found on the roof anyway?
:'''Mikey:''' Roof pizza is like one of my top ten favorite types of pizza.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In Donnie's lab, Donnie is working on a new voice box for Timothy while talking to him about April and Casey.]''
:'''Donnie''': Ridiculous! And they were swinging together! SWINGING! And then she looked at him. Can you believe it? She gave him ''that'' look, like this. [makes cute eyes, deadpans, and sighs] Why was she even with him?! Because he's human, that's why! BIG DEAL! You know how many people are human?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In the dojo]''
:'''Splinter''': Today, I will teach you to enjoy falling down.
:'''Donnie''': Why would I ever- ''[gets tripped by Splinter]'' Whoa!
:'''Splinter''': Did you enjoy that?
:'''Donnie''': No!
:'''Splinter''': Then let's keep trying. ''[knocks Donnie down a couple more times]'' Do you like it yet?
:'''Donnie''': No, sensei! Not at all!
:'''Splinter''': Hmm. Then perhaps one cannot make someone like something.
:'''Donnie''': Of course not! No one wants to be... Oh, I get it. You're talking about me and April.
:'''Splinter''': My son, for someone so intelligent, the obvious often eludes you.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''April:''' ''[faced with Mutagen Man]'' Donnie's monster?! Can't I go a MONTH without some mutant attacking me? ''[Casey gets in front of her]'' What are you doing?
: '''Casey:''' Whatever that thing is, it's pure evil, and completely cool looking!! I'll handle this, sweetheart.
: '''April:''' &quot;Sweetheart&quot;?

===Mikey Gets Shellacne===
:'''Mikey''': ''[screams]'' WHAT THE-?! I'M A MUTANT!!!
:'''Leo''': He's just realizing that now?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donnie''': This was a reject-batch of retro-mutagen, Mikey! It's DANGEROUS!
:'''Mikey''': Well, you could've made it a little more clear! ''[Donnie turns the vial around to show many warning labels]'' Still not that clear.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mikey''': Money is no object! ''[to Leo]'' Leo, can I borrow some cash?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Karai:''' Bradford, Xever. Enter.
:'''Dogpound:''' I detest this clumsy body. What I wouldn't give to be human again!
:'''Karai:''' Seriously, I don't have all night.
: '''Fishface:''' Don't get too comfortable, Karai. Shredder is the only one worthy of that throne.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Dogpound put a mutation leash on Baxter Stockman]''
:'''Baxter''': Is this...''mutagen!''
:'''Dogpound''': I call it insurance. Double-cross us, and boom, we see what you turn into! Maybe some sort of bug.

===Target: April O'Neil===
:''[A hologram of Oroku Saki is seen]''
: '''Shredder:''' So, Daughter. You not only disobey my orders in my absence, your petty scheme failed miserably.
: '''Karai:''' It was those stupid Footbots! They couldn't keep up with the Turtles! But here's the good news- the Kraang have been upgrading them.
: '''Shredder:''' Hear me, Karai. You will not have anymore dealings with the Kraang until I return. Do not defy me again! The consequences would be...unfortunate. 
: '''Karai:''' Understood, Father.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donnie''': It seems the Kraang are building some advanced heavy weaponry.
:'''Leo''': Any guess what it could be?
:'''Mikey''': ''[raises his hand]'' Ooh! Lasers disguised as burritos! Yes! It all makes sense now.
:'''Raph''': It DOES make sense... you have the brain of an AVOCADO!
:'''Leo''': Alright, guys, stay focused. We find the weapon and we destroy it, and then we get Mexican... pizza.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Splinter:''' It is very good to see you again, April.
: '''April:''' I missed you, Master Splinter. I hope we can start training again soon.
: '''Splinter:''' Of course. ''[bows down]'' Whenever you wish.
: '''April:''' ''[to the Turtles]'' I never got a chance to tell you guys that I'm sorry, for everything.
: '''Leo:''' You're sorry? But we were the ones that screwed up.
: '''April:''' It was an accident. And most importantly, you're my friends. I don't ever want to hold a grudge ever again.

===Slash and Destroy===
:'''Raphael:''' ''Why!?'' Why are you doing this!!?
:'''Slash:''' The others hold you back. Limit your potential. You don't need 'em. Just like you said!!
:''[Slash drags a badly hurt Mikey to the edge of a skyscraper]''
: '''Raphael:''' You're wrong! I never wanted this!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A dejected Raph looks at his photograph of Spike]''
:'''Raphael:''' He's still out there somewhere.
:'''Splinter:''' Raphael, do you know what I do when I miss my loved ones from the past?
:'''Raphael:''' No.
:'''Splinter:''' I focus on the friends I am surrounded in the present.

===The Good, the Bad and Casey Jones===
:'''Raph:''' What are you doing Leo!? I was goin' for Mikey!
:'''Leo:''' What part of &quot;last Turtle standing&quot; don't you understand!?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Casey''': How do you know these freaks?
:'''April:''' These are the other friends I told you about.
:'''Casey''': So they're NOT the bad guys? 
:'''April''': No way! ''[sighs]'' Casey Jones, meet Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo... 
:'''Mikey''': What up?  ''[gets smacked by Raph]''
:'''April''': ...and the one and only Raphael. 
:'''Casey:''' So the Turtles are all... Italian?
:'''Splinter:''' No. I named them after my favorite painters and sculptors of the [[w: Italian Renaissance|Italian Renaissance]]. 
:'''Casey:''' He's a giant, t-talking rat? ''[faints from shock]''
:'''April:''' Casey! Casey? This is Master Splinter, Casey. He's cool.
:'''Splinter:''' You do not have to fear me, my friend. Rest assured, I do not bite.

===The Kraang Conspiracy===
* April O'Neil's [[w:list of psychic abilities|psychic]] and [[w:extrasensory perception|extrasensory]] abilities, which were hinted in &quot;Monkey Brains&quot;, are fully proven.

&lt;hr width50%&gt;

:'''April:''' Saved by Raph? I'm never gonna live this down.
:'''Raph:''' We've all been there, April.
&lt;hr width50%&gt;
: '''Donnie:''' This...doesn't seem possible.
: '''April:''' What is it? What’s wrong?
: '''Donnie:''' Based on all the evidence I’ve clued from the lab, your cellular makeup is actually a morph-genetic blend of human and Kraang DNA.
: '''April:''' Wait. Are you saying...?
: '''Donnie:''' You're not entirely human, April. That's why you have [[w:List of psychic abilities |psychic]] [[w:extrasensory perception|powers]]. In fact, you are a half human, half alien-mutant.
: '''Leo, Raph and April:''' A mutant!?
: '''Mikey:''' Oh, yeah! Welcome to the family!
Leo: And don't let Mikey touch ANYTHING!!

===Fungus Humungous===


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''April:''' You know, Casey, it's awesome there's someone else who knows about the Turtles. I have, like, no one talk to. Especially after Dad turned into a mutant-bat.
:'''Casey:''' I know. 4 mutant-turtles living a sewer with a talking rat? I mean, you couldn't make this stuff up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Splinter:''' Leonardo?
:'''Leo:''' ''[falls over in surprise]'' Sorry, Sensei. Can't seem to focus.
:'''Splinter:''' I noticed. What is it that troubles you, my son?
:'''Leo:''' I keep having the same nightmare, Sensei - every night! I let the team down. They're dragged off into darkness and I'm powerless to help.
:'''Splinter:''' This is not uncommon. All leaders must face the fear of losing their team. I face this every time you and your brothers' leave the lair.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Casey''': ''[runs into the lair, panting]'' Guys! April! Sewers! Hurry!
:'''Raph:''' Casey, what's wrong?
:'''Leo:''' Are the Foot bots back?
:'''Casey:''' W-we were on our way here, and next thing I know April starts acting freaked out, then runs off! She's gone!
:'''Donnie:''' Wait, wait… You just ''lost'' April!?
:'''Mikey:''' Relax! I'm sure there's a logical explanation. Like she was eaten by a giant sewer snake, or something.
:'''Donnie:''' Let's go!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Leo:''' What is going on here?
:'''Donnie:''' Fungus!
:'''Mikey:''' Language, please! There's a lady present.
:'''Donnie:''' April and Raph have been exposed to toxins found in certain types of fungi. The mushroom must produce it as some kind of defense mechanism.
:'''Leo:''' Defense against what, being stir-fried?
:'''Raph:''' ''[hallucinating them as giant cockroaches]'' I'm freaking out, I'm freaking out, I'M FREAKING OUT!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Mikey:''' ''[stomping mushrooms]'' Check it out! [[Super Mario Bros.|Super Mikey Brothers]]!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Donnie:''' ''[coughing]'' April, we need to get out of here! Take my hand! (Paril?)
:'''Hallucination-April:''' Don't touch me! Get away from me! You make me sick, mutant... ''weirdo''!
:'''Donnie:''' April… what's wrong with you?
:'''Hallucination-April:''' You nerdy 3-fingered freak, I hate you! You mutated my father! '''I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!'''
:'''Donnie:''' She hates me. April hates me!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Leo:''' Everybody's gone… It's my fault! I failed them! It's all my fault!
:'''Hallucination-Captain Ryan:''' ''[slaps Leo]'' It's your fault, Cadet Leonardo! You blew it! What kind of a leader are you? Are you a man, or a turtle or a 0?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Leo:''' Ugh… Where am I?
:'''Hallucination-Mikey:''' You let us down, bro!
:'''Hallucination-Donnie:''' You did this!
:'''Hallucination-Raph:''' It's your fault, Leo!
:'''Leo:''' NO! No! C'mon, fight your fear, Leo! Get your head straight… FIGHT IT!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Raph:''' ''[sees Mikey]'' Mikey. Oh, I'm so glad to see you. What the heck's happening to us, man?! ''[Mikey says nothing]'' Uh, you okay? ''[Mikey's head pops off and out comes cockroaches]'' I'LL BURY YOU, COCKROACH!
:'''Mikey:''' KEEP AWAY FROM ME! STAY BACK! I WON'T LET YOU TAKE MY BRAIN JUICE!
:'''April:''' STOP FOLLOWING ME, DAD!
:'''Donnie:''' NO, LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE!
:'''Hallucination-April:''' What's the matter, freak, scared?! Maybe I should put you out of your misery.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Metalhead Rewired===
: '''Leonardo:''' Donnie, you gotta turn off his A.I.
: '''Donatello:''' Turn off his A.I.? That's like turning off his brain!
: '''Leonardo:''' He's too dangerous.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Donatello:''' He has to keep it open for us.
: '''Leonardo:''' But what about him?
: '''Donatello:''' We don’t have a choice.

===Of Rats and Men===
: '''Michelangelo:''' Can we keep her?
: '''Donatello:''' You know, Master Splinter is a rat.
: '''Casey:''' Yeah. What if that cat goes nuts and attacks him? She'll feed of his body for months.
: '''Donatello:''' You know, there is something seriously wrong with you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Splinter:''' You think you have the upper hand in a situation. You do not.
:'''Mikey:''' Burn!
: '''Raphael:''' How's that floor taste, Lame-nardo?
: '''Splinter:''' It is not hard to sense loudmouths. 

===The Manhattan Project===

====Part 1 [2.13]====
:'''Leo:''' &quot;Karai, listen. There's something you should know. It's about your father! Your real father!! Your real name is Miwa!&quot;
:'''Karai:''' &quot;I'm not interested in anything but you begging for your life!!&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Leo:''' Master Splinter, I tried to tell Karai that you're her father. I thought that if she knew, she would come over to our side.
:'''Splinter:''' There is a saying: He who runs his mouth gets a face full of ''nintako''.
:'''Leo:''' They say that in Japan?
:'''Splinter:''' They would if you were there. Still, your heart is in the right place. Perhaps it is time she knew the truth.
:'''Leo:''' Maybe you should tell the other guys, sensei.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Splinter:''' This is difficult, but it is time you all knew the truth. The child I thought I had lost in the fire, Miwa is Karai - my daughter. Fury became flame, and flame darkened the world with smoke. And in that darkness, Shredder stole Miwa away. I thought she had perished, but she raised by Shredder as his daughter and trained as a deadly Foot assassin. 
: '''Don:''' Wait. This can't be.
: '''Raph:''' Some kind of joke, right, sensei?
: '''Mikey:''' Karai's our ''sister!?''
: '''Raph:''' Sensei, she's still our enemy. She was raised by Shredder.
: '''Don:''' Yeah. How can ever trust her?
:''[Picks up the black-and-white photograph of his former human self and Tang Shen, with the infant Miwa between them]''
: '''Splinter:''' There is good in her. I know this. But truth must be told, and it too will be an earthquake.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Leo:''' Karai. Karai, don't do this. Splinter- He's your father. Your ''true'' father!&quot;
:'''Karai:''' ''&quot;Liar! You'd say anything to save him!!&quot;''
:'''Leo:''' &quot;No, I swear it!! He's your father- Hamato Yoshi.&quot;
:'''Karai:''' &quot;If you won't be silent, I'll silence you.&quot;

====Part 2 [2.14]====
:'''Fishface:''' Nice work, Tiger Claw. You finally captured the great Splinter.
:'''Razar:''' So is the poison going to finish him or not?
:'''Tiger Claw:''' Most men would have expired, but it's only weakened him. He may be small, but he's tough as iron.
:''[Oroku Saki appears with Karai at his side]''
:'''Shredder:''' Bradford, Xever, leave us. Hamato Yoshi, so you have come to this- a wretched rat man waiting to be put out of his misery.
:'''Splinter:''' At least I do not wear a mask, hiding what little humanity I have left.
:'''Shredder:''' It is because of you that I wear this mask!
:'''Splinter:''' All these years, you continue to deceive yourself and everyone around you.
:'''Shredder:''' You fool!! Now it ends!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Karai:''' No, Father!!
:'''Shredder:''' ''You'' would stop ''me!!?''&quot;
:'''Karai:''' You'd kill your greatest enemy while he's poisoned and chained? What about honor? Everything you taught me?
:'''Tiger Claw:''' The girl is right, Master Shredder.
:'''Shredder:''' Very well. Gather the Foot. I will offer Hamato Yoshi one last fight.

===Mazes and Mutants===
: '''Splinter:''' A game? Don't you have mutagen to find?
: '''Donnie:''' Sensei, we've beaten the Kraang and Shredder's top henchman. We could use one day to relax.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Leo:''' If we imagine our weapons are magical and all-powerful, we can defeat Leatherhead.
:'''Mikey:''' Yes! That's the answer!
:'''Raph:''' But that makes no sense!
:'''Leo:''' Trust me. Believe! Focus! Use your imagination.

===The Lonely Mutation of Baxter Stockman===
:'''Donnie:''' I'm sorry, Sensei. This is all the retro-mutagen I have left.
:'''Splinter:''' I may not be human, but I am fortunate enough to have my humanity. Save Kirby.
:[''As Donnie leaves, he looks down at the black-and-white picture of his original human self and his late wife, Tang Shen, with their infant daughter [[w:Karai (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Miwa]] between them.'']
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mikey''': Stockman-Fly is Turflytle's ultimate superhero enemy, buzz buzz. But if he's out there, buzz buzz, I'll find him, buzz bu-
:'''Raph''': Enough with the buzz buzz!
:'''Mikey''': ''[looks down]'' Okay.
:'''Raph''': Don't. ''[Mikey smirks at him]'' Don't.
:'''Mikey''': ''[puts his Turflytle antennas on Raph's head]'' Buzz buzz, dog! ''[runs off]''
:'''Raph''': ''[aggravated]'' AAAAAAH! ''[chases Mikey]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Donnie:''' I'm sorry, Master Splinter. I wanted to change you back. But I swear, if it's the last thing I do...
: '''Splinter:''' Do not fret, my son. I am content with what I have become. I have no place in the human world anymore. This is my home, and you four are my family.

===Newtralized!===
: ''[Leo and Mikey glare]''
: '''Raphael:''' What!? If he wants to act like a big baby, I don't want his help!
: '''Michelangelo:''' Not cool, Raph. People have feelings, dude. Real squishy feelings.
: '''Raphael:''' Well, I'm not people!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Newtralizer:''' We can destroy this whole stinkin' city.
: '''Slash:''' And every innocent human with it. Are you crazy!? I'm here to take out Kraang! Not people!
: '''Neutralizer:''' I don't care! I'm not people.
: '''Michelangelo:''' Hmm. Sounds oddly familiar.

===Pizza Face===
: '''Mikey:''' Something definitely is wrong! There isn't a single pizza place in this town that's pickin' up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Raph:''' Just wait for the pizza guy, Mikey! And don't eat it! I repeat: ''Do not eat it!!''

===The Wrath of Tiger Claw===
:'''Karai:''' All my life I was raised to believe Shredder was my father, that Splinter was the enemy. So when Leo told me Splinter was my true father, I couldn't accept it. But then I began to have doubts about Shredder's honor.
:'''April:''' Doubts about the evil villain of the Foot clan?
:'''Karai:''' He's trying to use me to set a trap for the Turtles. But I can't. Even if it means betraying Shredder.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Splinter:''' I retained very little from my old life. But this I will never let go, my daughter. 
:''[Karai is shocked to see the full picture of her late mother's arm around [[w:Hamato Yoshi|Hamato Yoshi]], and the black-and-white one of herself as an infant between a human Splinter and Tang Shen]''
: '''Karai:''' I can't believe it. You're telling the truth. All these years the Shredder has been lying to me.
: '''Leonardo:''' Wait. You don't believe it? I thought you did believe it. If you didn't believe it, why did you come down here?
: '''Karai:''' Father, what have I done?

===The Legend of the Kuro Kabuto===
: '''Leonardo:''' How can you guys fool around like this when Karai needs our help?
: '''Raph:''' Not this again.
: '''Leo:''' We have to rescue her.
: '''Raph:''' Look, maybe she believes Splinter is her father. But she was still raised by Shredder. You think she's gonna turn on him just like that?
: '''Leo:''' Yeah, I do. Now am I the leader of this team or not?
: '''Raph:''' More or less.
: '''Leo:''' More or less? So I'm only the leader until I tell you to do something you don't want to? Thanks, guys.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shredder:''' Why does the fly walk into the spider's web?
:'''Leo:''' Because all the spider's henchmen are out.
: '''Shredder''': Ah. You wish to make a trade?
: '''Leo:''' The helmet for Karai!
: '''Shredder:''' Very well. She'll have to be brought up from the dungeon.
: '''Leo:''' You raised her from infancy and now you lock her in a cell? How can you do that?
: '''Shredder:''' In any conflict, the winner is prepared to do what the loser is not.

===Plan 10===
:'''Mikey:''' Wait a minute. How do we know it's the real Raph? What's the secret password?
:'''Raph:''' ''I will pound you, Mikey!''

===Vengeance is Mine!===
: '''Splinter:''' Not what you expected?
: '''Karai:''' I admit it's a little weird being with...people I was told were my enemies. What really happened between you and Shredder and my mother?
: '''Splinter:''' I'm afraid it goes much deeper than our rivalry over your mother. The bitter feud between the Hamato and Foot clans lasted centuries. Oroku Saki was the son of the enemy. But he was just a child, so my father gave him shelter. We were raised as brothers, and rivals in all things as brothers are. But that rivalry soon turned bitter when we met [[w:Tang Shen|Tang Shen]]- your mother. Jealousy became hatred when Saki learned of his true heritage. He swore vengeance and rebuilt the Foot clan. One night, Oroku Saki struck. The blow that was meant for me struck your mother instead. Shredder blamed me and in his rage, he burned our home to the ground, leaving me to my fate. He took you away from me.
: '''Karai''' (''silently seething'')''':''' After all this time haven't you wanted revenge?
: '''Splinter:''' After all this time, I have learned that revenge only leads to more pain.
: '''Karai:''' But I seen you fight, Father. You could take him out.
: '''Splinter:''' We are safe here. And we are finally together again, my daughter. That is all that matters now. Not revenge.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leo:''' Going after Shredder alone is a bad idea.
: '''Karai:''' Don't try to stop me, Leo.
: '''Leo:''' I want to go with you.
: '''Karai:''' What?
: '''Leo:''' You're right. Shredder will never stop hunting us. The only way for us to be safe is to take him down.
: '''Karai:''' So much of my life has been about revenge. I can't ask you to risk your life, too.
: '''Leo:''' Let me help. 
: (''Karai leans closer as if she's going to kiss him. He looks a little shocked and nervously looks around'')
: '''Karai:''' Sorry, Leo. 
: (''she punches him, then knocks him out with some blinding powder. Leo coughs as his eyes remain open as he falls. Karai quickly heads to the surface)'' 
: '''Karai:''' This ends tonight!!

===A Chinatown Ghost Story===
: '''Ho Chan''' (''to April'')''':''' You have [[w:list of superhuman abilities and features in fiction|great power]] in you, power you have barely tapped. It will belong to Ho Chan. 
:(''Turns to Irma'') And you. You have power, too. Power I do not understand...yet. You will explain this power or suffer my-What!? 
:(''April uses her Tessen fan'')
: '''April:''' Come on, Irma!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ho Chan:''' It is said that the Great Turtle helped the god create the world. Fitting that these turtles should help Ho Chan rule it.

===Into Dimension X!===
:'''Leatherhead:''' Turtles, the Kraang have perfected the mutagen.

===The Invasion===

====Part 1 [2.25]====

:'''Shredder:''' Kraang Prime.
:'''Kraang Prime:''' One called Shredder. Kraang must have your decision.
: '''Shredder:''' If I help you will you uphold your end of the bargain?
: '''Kraang Prime:''' Kraang will deliver the ones known as Splinter and the Turtles.
: '''Shredder:''' And once I find Karai, you will mutate her back to normal?
: '''Kraang Prime:''' Kraang agrees to this. But in return, Shredder must help Kraang conquer the city known as New York City and then ''the world!''

&lt;hr width80%&gt;

: '''April:''' I'm gonna fix this! I'm gonna find your brothers and Casey.
: '''Kirby O'Neil:''' You can't go out there, April! You have to stay with me. I'm scared.

&lt;hr width80%&gt;

:'''Raph:''' &quot;Sensei, you in here?&quot;
:'''April:''' &quot;He's not here. I don't sense him.&quot;

&lt;hr width80%&gt;


====Part 2 [2.26]====
:'''Raph:''' We gotta move. Kraang Prime is stomping this way.
:'''Mikey:''' Raph!
:'''Raph:''' Awe. I missed you, too, little brother.
:'''April:''' Casey! I was scared I'd lost you forever.
:'''Casey:''' No worries, Red. Your man is here.
:'''Donnie:''' Not to break this up, but Leo is still out there.
:'''Raph:''' What!?
:'''Mikey:''' Long story, Bro. Basically-
:(''A gravely wounded Leo falls in through the living room window'')
:'''Raph:''' Leo!!
:'''April:''' Oh, Leo.
:'''Raph:''' He's still breathing.
:'''Mikey:''' Dude, his shell is cracked.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donnie:''' I'm sorry, Leo. You were right. If we just left the city when you said, the Kraang would never have found the lair and started the invasion. None of this would've happened.
: '''April:''' I have a place we can go upstate- My old family home. We can stay as long as we want. No one's around for miles.
: '''Casey:''' Upstate, huh? Sounds good to Casey Jones.
: '''April:''' Did you find your dad and little sister?
: '''Casey:''' No sigh of 'em. They probably got Kraang-atized.
:'''Mikey:''' What's gonna happen now, Raph?
:'''Raph:''' For the first time in my life, I have no idea, little brother.
:'''Mikey:''' I miss Master Splinter.

==Characters==
===Main===
*Leonardo / Leo 
*Raphael / Raph
*Donatello / Donnie
*Michelangelo / Mikey
*Hamato Yoshi/Splinter
*April O'Neil
*Casey Jones (debut)

===Recurring===
*Oroku Saki/Shredder
*Hamato Miwa/Karai (11 Episodes)
*Fishface
*Dogpound/Razar
*Baxter Stockman/Stockman Fly
*Tiger Claw (debut; 7 Episodes)

===Supporting===
*Slash (debut; 2 Episodes)
*Tang Shen (photographs/flashbacks; 8 Episodes)
*Dr. Kirby O'Neil (7 Episodes)
*Mrs. O'Neil (photograph; &quot;The Kraang Conspiracy&quot;)
*Timothy/the Pulverizer (&quot;Mutagen Man Unleashed&quot;)
*Dr. Falco/the Rat King (&quot;Of Rats and Men&quot;)
*Ivan Steranko
*Anton Zeck

==External links==

{{wikipedia|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series, season 2)}}

{{Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles}}

[[Category:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series) seasons|2]]
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]</text>
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===[[w:Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel|Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel]]===
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[reluctantly]'' Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. And welcome back to &quot;Sequel Month: The Sequel&quot;. Or in this case ''[grins broadly]'' &quot;Squeakquel Month&quot;? ''[beat]'' No! That is ''not'' the case! I will not give in to your rodent-based puns, you unfunny bucket of toilet leavings!

===Top 11 Worst Movie Sequels===
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Number 8. [[X-Men Origins: Wolverine]]. Is there even a point to having X-Men Origins at the beginning? I mean, they never made another one. Why? Because this movie sucked that hard! There's tons of X-Men, but they never gave them another X-Men Origins movie, because...yeah, this killed it! On the first try! Now, granted, I know a lot of you were probably expecting X-Men 3 to be in here, but... ''[a shot of the following character is shown...]'' Deadpool. No, no, I don't need to say any more. There is more, but I don't need to say it! Deadpool! But, even though I can stop there, let's continue. What should've been the easiest movie to make awesome, a standalone Wolverine movie, with Gambit, the Blob, an actual cool-looking Sabertooth, and a story promising betrayal, blood and vengeance, turned into a goddamn X-suckfest. Not only does little to none of the continuity match up with the other X-Men films, but everything is either boring, cliched, doesn't make sense, or going out of its way to piss fans off! Fan favorite Gambit is barely in the movie, the Blob isn't a mutant, he just ate a lot – that was a necessary change, good job! And, of course, one of the most popular and unique Marvel characters of all time... ''[Cut to a shot of Deadpool]''  ...Deadpool, has pretty much no connection to his character whatsoever. The actor Ryan Reynolds was such a Deadpool fan that he spent years and years to get a faithful version of the character brought to the big screen. And guess what? It seems what made people like him now still makes people like him now! Yeah, you didn't need to do the exact goddamn opposite of what the character was! ''[Scoffs]'' I can't believe that didn't work! Deadpool's own film was ruthless at mocking this movie's version of him, and rightfully so. At least with [[X-Men 3]], there was some good action, good visuals, Kelsey Grammer as Beast, interesting commentary on what should be cured and what shouldn't. This...just had nothing. Even the action ranges from standard to just cartoony. Walking away from an explosion? Haven't seen that. ''[An explosion in question hurls Wolverine at a helicopter]'' Oh, gimme a goddamn break! It's one of those films that should have been handed-on-a-silver-platter of awesome. Instead, we got a doggy bag of puke. Bottom line: there's no mutant healing from this one.

===[[w:The Smurfs 2|The Smurfs 2]]===
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' After the, and I can't believe I'm saying this, smash-hit ''[[w:The Smurfs (film)|Smurfs]]'' movie, it only figured to do a sequel with the exact same people. The downside is, it's lame, contrived, not funny, bad for kids, bad for adults, bad for anyone&amp;ndash; Actually, let's make this easier. The upside is, it made a lot of money. And, of course, that's what matters most, so they threw more money at the sequel to make more money back. The result, once again, is the not-pleasant bouquet of nausea under the guise of family entertainment.

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Seeing how the last time I did a crossover was with the Black Nerd, it only figures to extend him the same offer again. Hey, Black Nerd, how are you&amp;ndash;
:'''Black Nerd:''' ''[talking on a phone, not speaking in his nerd voice]'' What up, homie? Hey, put me down for 200 on the Patriots losing, a'ight? Ain't no way their ass can cheat to victory this year. You know what I'm saying? ''[Critic is puzzled]'' When are you gonna come back here with my bong, all right? I gots to get high. Man, ''[nerd voice]'' Black Nerd has to review a new Power Rangers movie trailer, ''[normal voice]'' and I can't do that unless I get blazed as ''fuuuck''. Hey, man, I'm gonna have to call you back. There's a White Walker present. ''[hangs up]'' Well, well, well, if it isn't the Nostalgia Bitch.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ...Umm... Hi, Black Nerd, I was... reviewing ''Smurfs 2'' and was wondering if&amp;ndash;
:'''Black Nerd:''' Oh, I get it. You thought I was gonna leave beautiful sunny California to fly to yo' neck of the woods, in the dead o' winter, to talk about a damn Neil Patrick Harris Smurfs sequel wit' yo' punk ass?
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Well, I don't know about my ass's punk qualities, but&amp;ndash;
:'''Black Nerd:''' Here's what's wrong wit' you, man. You think this all there is to me, think I'm all just ''Smurfs'' and ''[[w:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|Ninja Turtles]]'' and ''[[w:Power Rangers|Power Rangers]]'' and... ''[[w:Tiny Toon Adventures|Tiny Toon Adventures]]'' an' shit?
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[ashamed]'' I-I don't know...
:'''Black Nerd:''' I'm a grown-ass man, what about you? You sit around all day watching '80s and '90s kids TV shows and movies?
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[mumbling]'' I don't know...
:'''Black Nerd:''' That's real sad. I feel bad for you, Critic. I'm-a pray for you. Maybe the next time you do a charity shout-out, you should be shouting out to getting you a life. I ain't got time for this. I got an underground gambling ring to take care of. Not to mention all those hot Nintendo Switches that I'm-a sell on eBay... that fell off a truck... You ain't hear that from me. Alright, man. Peace, loser! ''[he gets up to leave]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Yeah, that's right, you better run!
:'''Black Nerd:''' ''[abruptly returning]'' ''What'chu say, punk?!''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[recoiling]'' Nothing, nothing!
:'''Black Nerd:''' Mm-hmm. Watch yourself. Oh, and by the way, ''[reverts to nerd mode]'' call me when you do a ''[[w:Smurfs: The Lost Village|Smurfs: The Lost Village]]'' review. I'll be right there for you, Critic. I love you like a play cousin, I'm outie 5000! Chain Chomp Yomp! ''[normal again]'' Ya punk-ass motherfucker! ''[leaves for good]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Well, I'll show him who's got a life! I'm reviewing ''Smurfs 2''!
:''[He nods defiantly, then frowns as the realization sets in]''

===[[w:Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties|Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties]]===
===[[w:Cool World|Cool World]]===

===[[w:Balto (film)|Balto]]===
:'''Little Girl:''' Wow! So this is where all the Nostalgia Critic episodes were filmed years ago! ''[Looks around]''
:'''Aunt Despair:''' You got it, bucko. They kept everything the same to preserve its history. Look at all the reviews that they did.
:''[The little girl sees posters for some on the Nostalgia Critic's previous reviews: Pixels, Mad Max: Fury Road and Batman v Superman]''
:'''Aunt Despair:''' ''[Pointing to Batman v Superman poster]'' There's ''[[Shrek]]''... ''[Points to Mad Max Poster]'' There's ''[[Schindler's List]] saves Christmas''... ''[Points to Pixels poster]'' ...And that one. ''[Points offscreen]'' But ''this''... ''this'' is what I really wanted to show you.
:''[The girl looks down to see a DVD for Balto]''
:'''Little Girl:''' Is that the DVD for the ''Balto'' review, Aunt Despair?
:'''Aunt Despair:''' Yep. And I was there when it was shot.
:'''Little Girl:''' GASP! You mean it's a true story!?
:'''Aunt Despair:''' ''[Holding up a small flat bottle]'' ''Based''... ''Based'' on a true story.
:'''Little Girl:''' Wow! Would you mind telling me the tale, Aunt Despair?
:'''Aunt Despair:''' ''[Unscrewing the bottle]'' After I have a sip of my storytelling sauce. ''[Takes a drink]''
:'''Little Girl:''' Oh, the same sauce that makes you good at slow-mo leapfrog with me.
:'''Aunt Despair:''' Our story begins on the Nostalgia Critic, sitting down at the desk he normally does...
:''[We then cross-dissolve to the Nostalgia Critic sitting in his usual spot]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Let's talk about a little film called ''Balto''.

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' They're watching a sled race led by a dog named Steele, who is so mean that literally every frame is determined to convince you he's pure evil!
:'''Steele:''' ''[To Balto]'' Get out of here, wolf-dog. You'd better get back to your ''[Spits]'' pack. ''[To Jenna]'' Well, maybe your taste runs more toward...wolf. ''[Carrying sausages in his mouth]'' Jenna, join me for dinner.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' I've never seen a bad guy where, every second, he's moving in some sort of obviously diabolical manner.
:'''Steele:''' ''[To Balto]'' You were the fastest... what? ''[After Jenna says no to him]'' Ohh. ''[Inhales]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Most villains have some normal everyday movements, but 24/7, this guy is like... ''[Speaking in an over-the-top villain fashion while jiggling his hands]'' Would you like some ice ''creeeam''? You can trust ''meeee''! I'm ''oooozing'' with pleasantness! ''[Normal]'' Every angle is evil... ''[A small clip of Steele howling to the sky is shown]'' except for maybe this one that...that looks like a girl's T-shirt from an AnimeCon... ''[A picture of a girl with howling Steele photoshopped onto her T-shirt is shown]'' But look at this! Even when he's turning around, he looks evil!
:'''Steele:''' ''[Walking towards the camera]'' I'm sorry. Balto. Balto the half-breed. ''[The other dogs ooh and laugh at this]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Speaking in the same villain fashion, with his chair turned right]'' Oh, you want me to turn around? Okay! ''[Turns around very close to the camera, laughing madly]'' Oh! You want me to do it again!?

===[[w:Fantastic Four (2015 film)|Fant4stic]]===
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Hey, guys, remember when we were a superhero team?
:'''Malcolm:''' Surprisingly, no.
:'''Tamara:''' Yeah, you'd think we'd remember something like that.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' You mean you have no recollection when a meteor smashed into Earth... ''[Clips are shown as he narrates]'' ...gave us incredible powers, forming the trio of the Adequately Impressive Three and then we just sat around watching ''[[w:Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' on Netflix?
:'''Malcolm:''' Oh, yeah!
:'''Tamara:''' The clips helped us remember.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Why didn't we do anything after that?
:'''Malcolm:'' Well, we did have that unpleasant encounter with the Silver Surfer.
:''[Clip shows Malcolm and Tamara playing Silver Surfer for the NES]''
:'''Tamara:''' Yeah, but that was so bad, that everyone forgot it.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' As they should. But maybe we'd forgotten what it means to be superheroes.
:'''Tamara:''' What do you mean?
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' What if we did it again? What if we brought back the Adequately Impressive Three, only this time, we did it right?
:'''Malcolm:''' How?
:''[Clips are shown of NC, Malcolm, and Tamara wearing black as dark, epic music plays in the background]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' We'll be darker, grittier, and more realistic. Which, as we all know, immediately equals better. No more Pixelator, Clobbererer, or Sparky Sparky Boom Man. Together, we shall be Malcolm, Tamara, and Nostalgia Critic!
:'''Tamara:''' Wait, what happened to our superhero names?
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' We're too edgy for that. We don't need them anymore. And together, we shall become...
:''[The screen then cuts to black as the title &quot;AD3QUAT3LY IMPR3SSIV3 THR33&quot; fades in along with a large &quot;3,&quot; and epic music, clearly parodying the &quot;Fant4stic&quot; title]''
:'''Malcolm:''' Oh, I see, let the title display our name so we wouldn't have to say it out loud.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Exactly!
:'''Tamara:''' That's really embracing our brand with pride.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' And enough of this bright, colorful background...
:''[The vector background vanishes into a mere dark room as the Nostalgia Critic crosses his arms and nods his head]''
:'''Tamara:''' Hey, we're in a dark room.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Our lives are a dark room. One...big...dark room.
:'''Malcolm:''' My God, Critic, this is so different. What are we gonna do with the new us?
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' This time, we're gonna get it right...we're gonna sit around and watch ''[[w:Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' on Netflix!
:''[Cut to the trio watching Netflix]''
:'''Kilgrave (Doug):''' Is this a metaphor for something?

===[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clockstoppers Clockstoppers]===
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' We get a glimpse of our main character named Zak. He likes buying things from an antique store and selling them on eBay for double the price, presumably so he can get this car he has his eye on. I'll give them points for showing all that visually, without any dialogue. But deduct a point, because it almost never comes into the goddamn story. Yeah, in the tapestry of the plot, this thread is literally the size of a thread!
:''[Dr. Gibbs, Zak's father, is telling Zak and the other students a task, holding two car models]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' But his father who's a teacher is holding a car. That connects, right? At a point?
:'''Dr. Gibbs:''' And along comes Eddie, in his Ferrari.
:''[The students laugh]''
:'''Eddie:''' Hey, come on, that could happen. Totally. ''[Tries to give a female student who's sitting next to him a high-five, but gets nothing]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Okay, I already wish the movie was about ''him''. But nope. It's about Zak and his father who is so involved with his science that he doesn't have time for his son. Yeah, that thing.
:'''Dr. Gibbs:''' You remember Earl Dopler, don't you? He's one of the best students that ever passed...
:'''Zak:''' That freak? Who used to come over and eat a lot of potato salad?
:'''Dr. Gibbs:''' ''[Laughs]'' He isn't a freak, he's...a little eccentric.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Smiling]'' You know, Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole in your head.

===[[w:Jack and the Beanstalk (1974 film)|The WEIRDEST Jack and the Beanstalk]]===
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' We know Jack's gotta be like nine or ten or something like that, but they never say how old Margaret is. I guess old enough to marry, but even that varies in terms of time period and location. So, while you might be feeling awkward about not really knowing if you should feel awkward about this, don't worry, it will quickly disappear after the STRANGEST SCENE IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE. ''[Beat]'' Just watch!
:''[Margaret and Tulip the giant's wedding is taking place; the church is bathed in an eerie green light; creepy, ominous church music plays; all the church patrons are paper cutouts, as is the priest]''
:'''Priest:''' ''[Singing]'' #Two of you stand here in front of me tonight. Are you hap''PYY?'' It's your wish to be married now, am I right? Are you hap''PYYY?'' Will you help each other ''OUT?'' ''[Floats upwards creepily]'' You must tell me if you have ''ANY'' doubt. Well, then, can ''YOU?''#
:''[The camera alternates between Madame Hecuba and NC watching, the former in sinister anticipation and the latter in sheer horror, as the priest's singing becomes increasingly distorted]''
:'''Hecuba:''' ''[Thinking]'' Yes, they will be very happy! ''[Margaret stares]'' Say that you love him. Say that you love him!
:''[The Nostalgia Critic slaps himself repeatedly]''
:'''Priest:''' #In love, are you?#
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Nonplussed]'' More Sugar-Frosted Nightmares, please! ''[A bowl of cereal appears in front of him]'' What the enchanted crack pipe are we watching here?! Why all the paper people? Why all the trippy animation? Why that priest that sounds like he's getting his testicles clipped to a car battery every other word?!?
:'''Priest:''' Are you hap''PYYY?'' ...can ''YOU?'' ...''OUT?'' ...he ''IS?''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' NONE OF THIS is explained! It's all just pure madness! To a point where when Jack comes in and finally kisses her, you've totally forgotten about the age thing! It's not even a spark in your mind; all you're thinking is &quot;Are you hap''PYYY?!'' Are you hap''PYYY?!''&quot; NO! I'm very confused and rather afraid! ''What is this?!''

===[[w:Hulk (film)|Hulk]]===
:'''Narrator:''' Nostalgia Critic: critic of nostalgia. Searching for a movie to tap into the inner frustrations every movie nerd has. Then, a viewing of a fascinatingly misdirected movie alters his chemistry. And now, whenever he hears any mention of the movie Hulk, a startling metamorphosis occurs.
:''[Tamara is shown holding the Blu-ray of the movie and discussing it with Malcolm. When NC comes up, he dramatically knocks it out of Tamara's hand, and it falls on the floor]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Calmly]'' Malcolm. Tamara. Do not show me that movie. You wouldn't like me when you show me that movie. ''[He explodes, but nothing happens to him]'' I exploded.
:''[Tamara and Malcolm just shrug. Cut to NC crying to the sky in the rain in over-the-top manner, with the title &quot;The Incredible Sulk&quot; appearing below. We then are shown NC watching silently at the Blu-ray case of Hulk, with the Blu-ray itself having been smashed into pieces]''
:'''Narrator:''' The Critic is wanted for property damage he didn't commit. Well, okay, he did, but it was just of a movie. And that movie sucked. The Critic's patience is believed to be dead. And he must let the world believe that it is dead, until he can find a way to control the whiny bitch fits that dwells within him.

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' They try their experiment on a frog and discover the results are a little too explosive.
:''[The frog they experiment on is shown on monitors. It swells up and pops. Bruce, Betty and Harper say nothing]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Solemnly]'' Somebody call Miss Piggy. There's been an... accident.

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''THE HULK!'' People calmly discussing things, staring at each other in silence, but... look! Green walls! ''[A bunch of arrows pop up, pointing at the walls]'' It's... ''kind'' of like the Hulk is there! Symbolically! Oh, you just don't get it, you just don't understand the layers of subtlety and conversation that need to be had with... ''[Raises his fists]'' ''THE HULK!''

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''THE HULK!'' Talking about dreams! Reoccurring dreams! With your boyfriend being your father and trying to strangle you- ''[Stutters]'' What?!?
:''[Bruce appears in place of Betty's father and we are shown the point of two-year-old Betty's view, as Bruce brings his hand to strangle her. Fade to Bruce and Betty (from Bruce's flashback) lying on the bed together]''
:'''Bruce:''' That's terrible! You know I'd never hurt you.
:''[The Critic just stares in confusion and shock at what just happened]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Okay, um... Anyone that's new to the dating scene; I don't know what Ang Lee is trying to tell you, but if your date says they have a reoccurring dream about you as their father trying to kill them as a small child, out. Just.. get out. Don't even make up an excuse! Just flee! The only person you should flee faster from is [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Nolte Nick Nolte]- of course he's in this movie!
:'''David:''' You may not want to believe it, but I can see it.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Nolte plays Banner's ''real'' dad. I'm not sure if he went crazy and then did the film or if he did the film and then went crazy, but there's regret to be had all around. I guess he's supposed to be intimidating, but it doesn't really help when you're stalking a guy with 3 cuddly dogs by your side. No, seriously, this was supposed to be a threatening image! I'm sorry, the dogs god damn ruin it! Banner is so intimidated by this that he actually closes the blinds! Why!? Even the most paranoid person wouldn't muster a sweat from this!
:''[Cut to a skit of Tamara nervously peeking through the blinds, then bursting out laughing when she sees David with his 3 dogs]''
:'''Tamara:''' ''[Laughing]'' What is that? What is that!? Hey, buddy! ''Best in Show'' is down the street! ''[Laughs some more]'' What, are you gonna break down the baton and have them bark &quot;Ode to Joy&quot;? ''[Peeks out once more to see David and his dogs gone]'' Oh, thank God they're gone. I thought I was gonna die of laughter. Whoo! They really need to be in a ''Hulk'' movie. ''[Walks away from the window]''

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''THE HULK!'' The teaser that literally looked like this...
:''[ In the original teaser, we are shown Bruce visibly shaking, see his eye turning green, and then cut to the outside of the house Bruce is in, its wall collapsing in pieces. The title &quot;Hulk&quot; appears in a green background. With a bright flash of lightning, even!]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ...was literally representing this!
:''[Betty and Ross are shown just looking at each other in total silence for about 6 seconds]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Gets closer to the camera]'' ''THE HULK!''

:''[A commercial where 2 kids named Cliff (Malcolm) and Melody (Tamara) are having fun with their toys is shown]''
:'''Announcer:''' Hey, kids! You want something smashing?
:'''Cliff + Melody:''' Yeah!
:''[A hand pops up and gives them the Hulk action figure. They start playing with it]''
:'''Announcer:''' Well, crash your way to excitement with the Hulk! Now that you have everyone's favorite crushing machine, what are you gonna do with him?
:'''Cliff:''' I'm gonna think about the repressed memories that might be hiding in my psyche.
:''[Sad piano music plays]''
:'''Announcer:''' Um... Okay. ''[Rock music resumes as the hand gives the Hulk figure to Melody]'' Hey, little girl! What are you going to do with him?
:'''Melody:''' I'm gonna use him as justification to finally confront my domineering father.
:''[Sad music starts again]''
:'''Cliff:''' Melody, that's so brave of you.
:'''Melody:''' Thank you, Cliff.
:''[They sit on the floor sorrowfully]''
:'''Announcer:''' Well, uh... ''[The Hulk figure is shown at several different angles]'' Doesn't anyone want to use him for smashing and stopping the forces of evil?
:''[Cut to Cliff sitting at the computer solemnly and holding the Hulk, and crying Melody coming in to console him. They are wearing jackets]''
:'''Melody:''' Shh! Can't you see he's distraught?
:'''Cliff:''' I can't believe we're losing the grant money.
:'''Melody:''' It's okay, Cliff. We'll think of something.
:'''Cliff:''' Will we? Or will we be lost to the visual representation of our own subconscious?
:'''Melody:''' Oh, Cliff!
:'''Cliff:''' Melody!
:''[They both hug each other, crying. After some seconds, a sudden close-up of the Hulk figure is shown with heavy metal resuming playing]''
:'''Announcer:''' The Hulk! It's...as much fun as it looks?
:''[Cliff throws the Hulk into a trash can]''
:'''Cliff:''' We're done with childish things.
:'''Melody:''' Oh... ''[Turns away from the can]''
:''[The caption &quot;An Ang Lee Commercial is shown before we fade out]''

:'''Bruce:''' Talbot.
:'''Talbot:''' Yeah?
:'''Bruce:''' You're making me angry.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' How dare you make me feel an emotion in this film!
:''[Bruce transforms into the Hulk]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[As Talbot]'' Mr. Giant, I swear I ate all my vegetables... ''[Gets thrown out the window]'' '''AAAAHHH!'''

:''[David's mutated dogs appear]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[In a deep booming voice]'' '''''ZUUL, MOTHERFU-''''' ''[Stops short at the sight of the mutant dogs]'' '''Oh, my God, are you serious!? Th-that's not the final thing, is it!? I- Oh, sorry.''' ''[Clears throat]'' '''''ZUUL, MOTHER FU-''''' ''[Breaks down laughing]'' '''What is this!? Guys! Guys, come on! No!'''

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' He, of course, turns into the human Battletoad and he tries busting his way out. But they have foam to stop him. Because... if it makes bathtime fun, surely it can make the Hulk fun.
:''[Talbot, holding the syringe to gain a sample of the Hulk's DNA, goes to him. In the middle of him walking, the footage is sped-up (yeah, in the movie), and a Woody Woodpecker laugh is added. As Talbot brings the syringe closer to the Hulk, who is cartoonishly angrily cringing at him]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Snickers]'' Okay...I think this scene only exists just to make a caption contest. Like... ''[The captions of what NC is saying appear below the screenshot of Hulk cringing at Talbot]'' ...&quot;Name this movie and give only wrong answers.&quot; Or &quot;Explain how this is somehow the way we first met.&quot; Or &quot;This is what we spent $137 million on, guys. We cray-cray!&quot;
:''[The Hulk is getting out of the foam, but Talbot is ready to shoot. Unfortunately for him, the bullet ricochets when it hits the Hulk and explodes. The flame erupts, and the screaming Talbot suddenly freezes. NC is bewildered by this. The flame covers Talbot, killing him]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Wow, even by this movie's standards, that was a new level of &quot;What?!&quot;
:''[The Intro to the 1977 version of &quot;Charlie's Angels&quot; is shown]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Imitating the announcer]'' Coming summer 1977: a spin-off of Charlie's Angels entitled... &quot;Guy Flying Over Fireball Looking Like a Twat&quot;!
:''[Various clips from the intro are shown, with Talbot's screaming face Photoshopped over the training Angels' faces]''

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[As helicopter pilot]'' Come back, or we won't give you a pointless romance with Black Widow! Okay, fine! You get a [[Thor: Ragnarok|subtext romance]] with Thor!

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''THE HULK!'' This movie's terrible!

===[[w:The Mummy (2017 film)|The Mummy (2017)]]===
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Displeased]'' Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. And do I really have to?
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' ''We'' have to!
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Sighs]'' This is &quot;The Mummy&quot; with Tom Cruise.
:''[Clips of the movie play]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' This was supposed to be the big start to, what else? A cinematic universe. One Universal wanted to create with its classic monster movies. Because everything has to be a goddamn universe now. Christ, I'm surprised the Teletubbies don't have a cinematic universe!
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' Don't give them ideas!
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Covers his mouth in shock]'' Oh shit!
:''[In the corner of the screen, a shot of &quot;Teletubbies vs. Care Bears&quot; appears]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Damn it!
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' The film ''bombed'', throwing their future Dark Universe films into question. I really wanted to talk about this movie, because, in some respects, this comes full circle.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Confused]'' What?
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' ''[Moving his finger around in a squiggly circle]'' OK, it's a very shittily-drawn circle, but it's still a circle. ''[Shrugs]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Did you just make up the word &quot;shittily&quot;?
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' My point is Universal ''invented'' the shared universe concept in the 40s. ''[​Posters of Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man, House of Dracula, The House of Frankenstein, and Abbott and Costello Meet the Monsters Collection pop up on screen​]'' Crossovers, versus, team-ups, all these were originally done with the classic Universal monsters. Marvel and everybody else is technically copying what they started. Somewhere down the line, that fad faded, but as films like ''[posters of...]'' Freddy vs. Jason, ​Captain America: Civil War, and Batman vs. Superman​ became popular, suddenly Universal wanted to jump back onboard. So now, ironically, Universal is copying Marvel and all these other films, forgetting that Universal was the one that came up with this idea to begin with.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' And that's all this movie is: a copy. A copy of every overused cliché in current cinematic universes, trying to set up the next five movies rather than focusing on making one good one.
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' I actually wanted to see this movie succeed, because I want the Universal monsters to continue in some way. They're not as popular nowadays as they should be, so it's important to bring them back in the public minds. It's like Batman or James Bond: ''[The collages of all the actors who played the mentioned characters are shown]'' we all have our favorite actors who played the roles, ''[Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger as the Jokers are followed]'' but we still accept different versions, and the best ones can create new timeless interpretations.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Does this film do that?
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' I think you know the answer.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' I know the answer. Let's dive into ''[Finger quotes]'' the Dark Universe's ''Mummy''.
:''[The film starts with a stylized opening, featuring the brown-coloured Earth, the gloomy sky and the caption &quot;DARK UNIVERSE&quot; sliding up]''
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' Look at this. They're already declaring it &quot;The Dark Universe&quot;. Ooh, we're so excited. There's gonna be more of something that we don't even know if we like yet.
:''[The quote from Egyptian prayer of resurrection, &quot;Death is but the doorway to new life. We live today, we shall live again. In many new forms shall we return&quot;, is followed]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Followed by a quote, because... They just want a quote.
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' Yeah, they always do that to make films seem more important. Hey, how about this for a more fitting quote?
:''[The mock quote &quot;This movie's gonna suck&quot; by &quot;Everyone&quot; is shown]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Truth in advertising.

:'''Jekyll:''' ''[Narrating]'' Vowing revenge, she made a choice to embrace evil.
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' Revenge for what?
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' I don't know. Revenge against the baby for literally being born? But, okay. She kills the kid and the mother and the Pharaoh. What happens next?
:'''Jekyll:''' ''[Narrating]'' She vowed to bring Set, the god of death, into our world, in the body of a mortal man. Together, they would take their vengeance upon humanity.
:''[Both the Nerd and the Critic blink in confusion]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Where did that come from?!
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' I have no idea what this chick is about!
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' First, she wants to be queen, then kill her brother, then bonk a demon, then kill the demon to release the demon to take over the world?
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' That's like saying after Bruce Wayne's parents died... ''[Michael Keaton as Batman is shown]'' ...he wanted to become Batman... ''[The Gotham City background changes to a flower shop]'' ...open a flower shop... ''[The background is now a disco party]'' ...become a disco dancer... ''[Three ice creams are shown with the captions &quot;Justice&quot;, &quot;Dark Justice&quot;, and &quot;Strawberry #2&quot;]'' ...and create three new ice creams! One motivation is enough!

:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' Cruise is taken to a secret location in London, where we get cameos in jars: the Creature from the Black Lagoon's hand, the vampire's skull...
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Look, Howard the Duck is in the back!
:'''Angry Video Game Nerd:''' ...and Russell Crowe, the Nick Fury of this movie, in the role of...who else? Dr. Jekyll.
:'''Jekyll:''' I would like, if I may, Mr. Morton, to tell you a story.
:'''Critic + Nerd:''' Nooooooo!
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' You're already telling ''five'' stories! Just stick to one!

===[[w:Dragonball Evolution|Dragonball Evolution]]===

===War of the Commercials===
''[The commercial for the original [[w:Super Smash Bros. (video game)|Super Smash Bros.]] is shown where Mario, Pikachu, Yoshi and Donkey Kong are skipping through a field together]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Yeah, this one launches the nostalgic feels. It's the first commercial for &quot;Super Smash Brothers&quot; on Nintendo 64. Now it's a commonplace idea to see your favourite loveable characters beat the shit out of each other, but back then, seeing these cuddly cuteballs skip was pretty shocking when it was followed by this.
:''[Mario trips Yoshi up, then Donkey Kong punches Mario's head]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Good lord! Suddenly, it's Joaquin Phoenix from Gladiator looking over an enchanted bloodbath!
:''[As the Nintendo characters are beating each other up, Commodus from &quot;Gladiator&quot; watches and sticks his tongue out]''
:'''Don LaFontaine:''' Something's gone wrong in the happy-go-lucky world of Nintendo.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' What I like is, before you realize it's all going this direction, it just looks like Mario snapped at Yoshi! ''[Mario trips Yoshi]'' What the hell did he do? Did he have a flashback to when he was a baby and Yoshi failed to protect him?
:''[As dramatic music plays, a clip of [[w:Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island|Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island]] plays, in which a crying Baby Mario, out of reach of Yoshi, is spirited away by Kamek's toadies]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[As Mario, as he trips Yoshi]'' Never forgive, asshole! ''[As Donkey Kong]'' You're a dickhead, Mario! ''[As Mario]'' You're the dickhead!
:''[He then imitates all of the characters at once as they fight, but it's too inaudible to make it out, except for Pikachu's &quot;Pika! Pika!&quot;, as DK throws him through the air by his tail]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Ten points to whoever threw Pikachu twice, by the way.
:''[In the commercial, Pikachu is seen airborne for the second time]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[As Pikachu]'' Pika-noooo!
:''[Yoshi swings a sledgehammer at the camera, leaving a splatter of blood]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Why were they even skipping if they were just gonna fight? Is it like &quot;A Clockwork Orange&quot; where Mario knew he was gonna jack them up? ''[As Mario, in the manner of Alex DeLarge]'' I was calm on the outside, but thinking all the time. So now it was Yoshi the general, saying what to do and what not to do. Well, I viddied what to do.
:''[Mario's kick that starts the fight is shown again]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Couldn't you just get revenge by dropping him off another cliff? We know the Yoshi species are like socks to you. Ultra-violent as hell, but pretty funny, too, this commercial hits hard in the laughs.
:'''Don LaFontaine:''' Only on Nintendo 64.
:''[The commercial ends with Yoshi hitting DK on the head with the aforementioned hammer, knocking the big gorilla to the ground with the N in &quot;Nintendo 64&quot; spinning around his head like circling stars; cut to the tagline for the N64: &quot;Get N or Get Out&quot;]''
:'''Alex DeLarge:''' I was cured, all right.

:''[A sketch is shown, showing Malcolm, Rob Walker, Jim Jarosz and Barney Walker in classy outfits. On the whiteboard in the background, a caption &quot;Welcome, the Smith-Hayden-Jones-Fukome-Al Sayed-Guadalupe-Von Slamkowski-Macduggel-嗝太 Family&quot; is written]''
:'''Announcer:''' HEEEEYYY!! You look like real jerks! ''[To Rob]'' So what'cha doin'?!
:'''Rob:''' Oh, well, we're going to a family reunion...
:'''Announcer:''' Shut up! You're fightin' dinosaurs now!
:''[Rob disappears from the room and appears in a desert where he encounter a T-Rex. He lets out 3 high-pitches screams before we cut back to the others]''
:'''Announcer:''' ''[To Malcolm]'' Hey, jerk! What'cha doin'!?
:'''Malcolm:''' I got sweet potato yams made from potato...
:'''Announcer:''' Shut up! You're goin' up against...ki...killer skeletons!
:''[Malcolm disappears from the room and appears in a mountain range where he meets a skeleton with a sword and shield. He screams and runs away in fear, throwing away the dish. We cut back again]''
:'''Announcer:''' ''[To Jim]'' Hey, jerk! What'cha doin'?!!
:'''Jim:''' Well, I have got, uh...
:'''Announcer:''' Shut up! You're... ''[Stutters]'' In a volcano!
:''[Jim disappears and reappears inside a volcano sinking into lava! Barney is the only one left]''
:'''Announcer:''' Hey, JERK!
:'''Barney:''' Um...
:'''Announcer:''' SHUT UP! Space!
:''[Barney is now floating in space and suffocating. We cut to a cheerful Tamara at a kitchen wearing an apron and holding two plates with pies on them]''
:'''Announcer:''' HEY, JERK! What'cha doin'?!?!?
:'''Tamara:''' Oh, I just made pie.
:'''Announcer:''' ''[In a less aggressive tone]'' ...Actually, it sounds really nice.
:'''Tamara:''' It's apple pie.
:'''Announcer:''' That's my favourite.
:'''Tamara:''' Would you like a slice?
:'''Announcer:''' Please.
:''[Tamara gives the pie to the announcer and he eats it]''
:'''Announcer:''' That's delicious.
:'''Tamara:''' Oh, thank you! You know, the secret ingredients...
:'''Announcer:''' Not to bring down the mood, but I think I killed your entire family.
:'''Tamara:''' ''[Frowns]'' What?
:'''Announcer:''' Yeah.
:''[Rob, Malcolm, Jim and Barney's outcomes are shown as the announcer describes them tearfully. In order, we see Rob getting eaten by the T-Rex, the skeleton dancing over Malcolm's dead body, Jim's hand sinking into the lava, and Barney's body floating in space]''
:'''Announcer:''' I gave one to a T-Rex, a skeleton killed another, one of them melted, another's in space... ''[The RSPCA PSA is shown briefly]'' I killed your dog... ''[Cut back to Tamara, who is confused and shocked]'' Pretty much everything you cherished is gone!
:'''Tamara:''' Well, I...
:'''Announcer:''' I'm sorry! I get carried away sometimes!
:'''Tamara:''' I... I...
:''[Both of them start sobbing]''
:'''Announcer:''' But, hey! Have you ever played Atari ''Pole Position''?
:'''Tamara:''' No.
:'''Announcer:''' It's a lot of fun. You should try it.
:'''Tamara:''' Okay. ''[Continues crying]''
:'''Announcer:''' Okay. Well, I'm gonna go away and be a voice. You have really nice pie. Sorry I killed your family.
:'''Tamara:''' Okay... ''[Puts her plate down]'' I'll check out Atari Pole Position...
:'''Announcer:''' It's really good.
:''[Jump cut to the cover for Pole Position with heavy metal playing in the background and the caption &quot;NOW AVAILABLE! (Does not come with family-killing voice)&quot; shown on the right]''

===[[w:Star Wars: The Last Jedi|Star Wars: The Last Jedi]]===
:''[After we see the Channel Awesome logo, we are shown the caption that says &quot;You know when and where...&quot;. The Star Wars logo appears in space and zooms out as a variation of its theme plays. Suddenly, Chris Stuckmann crashes into the logo, making it fall]''
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' Oh, my God. That was...
:''[Then he is suddenly risen up by an opening crawl, preventing it from moving properly]''
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' Whoa! Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening. I'm sorry. Just...just...it won't stop.
:''[He then notices the Nostalgia Critic and Cinema Snob dressed as Han Solo walking out of a flash of light]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Stuckmann, are you stopping the opening crawl again?
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' Whoa. Critic, Snob, what are you guys doing in space?
:'''Cinema Snob:''' Oh, we just wrapped up our Force Awakens review.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' As well as just celebrated ''[Imitates Chewbacca's roaring]'' Hanukkah.
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' Well, I just finished doing my Rogue One review with you. Continuity-wise, I don't think those timelines sync up.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' No, no. Pretty sure our two separate storylines match up exactly. Pretty sure.
:'''Cinema Snob:''' Yeah. It only ''feels'' like two years have gone by.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Briefly showing his bald head]'' Yeah, and we all look exactly the same as when we saw each other a couple seconds ago.
:''[The Cinema Snob points out his ring finger]''
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' Do we? I'm pretty sure at least my teeth look different.
:'''Cinema Snob:''' Yeah, so step off the crawl so we can review The Last Jedi.
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' I don't know. If literally no time has passed, I don't think the crawl is gonna give us much.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Look, this is how these Star Wars movies work. A few years pass by with each one, and the crawl always catches us up!
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' I'm telling you, Critic, they got nothing.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Well, we'll be the judge of that, so step off!
:''[Chris shrugs and joins NC and CS as they look at the moving crawl with arms folded. It says &quot;We got nothin'. The crawl's pointless, we got nothin'. Traditions, I guess. We're just gonna fill up this space here with the Meow Mix song lyrics. Meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow...&quot;]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' God damn it!
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' Yeah, I told you. The crawl's pointless, they got nothing.
:''[Then they notice there are whopping SEVEN lines of &quot;Meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow&quot;]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' All right, let's just get on with it.
:'''Cinema Snob:''' Oh, wait. I always wondered what the last lyric was.
:''[The eighth, ninth and tenth lines of &quot;Meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow&quot; appear, ending the crawl]''
:'''Cinema Snob:''' &quot;Meow.&quot; &quot;Lloyd&quot; was right. ''(Lloyd is the name of the Cinema Snob's cat)''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[Sighs]'' Let's just get going.

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Kylo Ren finds he can't destroy his mother, but luckily the other fighters can, blasting her into space.
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a little awkward considering this is [[w:Carrie Fisher|Carrie Fisher's]] last movie.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Oh, don't worry. It gets even more awkward!
:''[Leia (Portrayed by Tamara) opens her eyes begins flying to a soundalike of the Superman theme]''
:'''Cinema Snob:''' ''[Annoyed]'' Oh, come on, Critic! Show what really happened.
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' That ''is'' what really happened! She goes &quot;Shooting Star&quot; on our asses!
:''[Leia's flying scene is shown with toned-down &quot;Shooting Stars&quot; by Bag Raiders playing and the galaxy revolving around her in the background]''
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Even if you overlook Fisher's passing and the fact that we're watching her cold corpse come back to life...
:'''Cinema Snob:''' That's a pretty big overlook!
:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' When did Leia learn to do something like that?
:''[Images of Luke and Rey are shown, as well as Leia flying again]''
:'''Chris Stuckmann:''' We see how hard it is for prodigies Luke and Rey just to move rocks. How can she vacuum-suck her way back to the ship with no practice?
:'''Cinema Snob:''' Maybe Luke and her were getting a drink one night and he said...
:''[Cut to Luke (Portrayed by the Nostalgia Critic) chatting with Leia at a bar]''
:'''Luke Skywalker:''' So, if by some rare chance, you're out [[w:Gravity (2013 film)|Sandra Bullocking in space]], just remember, hold your hand out to the nearest ship, the Force has got your back.
:'''Leia:''' That's uncomfortably specific, but good to know.
:'''Luke:''' Welcome to my world.
:'''Cinema Snob:''' It's weird.

:'''Cinema Snob:''' While Leia is out of commission, the second-in-command, Vice Admiral Holdo...
:''[Hodor from [[Game of Thrones]] is shown]''
:'''Cinema Snob:''' ''[Chuckles]'' Boy, that would have been a completely different movie.
:''[Chris gestures and Hodor is replaced by purple-haired Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo (portrayed by Aiyanna), who smiles and waves at the camera]''
:'''Cinema Snob:''' ...is put in charge, and she seems less like an admiral and more like a working mom trying to keep her cool around her teenage son.
:''[Poe Dameron (Portrayed by Doug) walks up to Holdo]''
:'''Poe:''' We need some answers! We need to know what's going on!
:'''Holdo:''' ''[Speaking in a slow, didactic tone]'' I hear you, but I need you to trust my decision.
:'''Poe:''' How? How can we trust you if we don't even know what you're doing?
:'''Holdo:''' I need to keep things from you so that you can learn a lesson.
:'''Poe:''' We don't need to learn any lessons! What we need to do is...
:'''Holdo:''' GO TO YOUR ROOM!
:'''Poe:''' ''[Tearfully]'' You're the worst Vice Admiral ever! ''[Leaves]''

:'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Thus Finn and Phasma have a big fight that's been building up for a while.
:'''Captain Phasma:''' Time to finish what we sort of started.
:'''Cinema Snob:''' Unfortunately, it's cut short because Holdo sacrifices herself by aiming her abandoned ship at the First Order and putting it in light speed. ''(Slight mistake here. Holdo's sacrifice happened before Finn and Phasma's fight, not during.)''
:''[Before Finn and Phasma can hit each other, Holdo's ship comes crashing in in slow-motion, as Holdo talks with Finn and Phasma as if everything is fine]''
:'''Holdo:''' Oh, hey, guys! It's my last words! Crazy, right? ''[Chuckles]''
:''[The sudden crash causes Finn and Phasma to separate, with Phasma moving towards fiery danger. Phasma realizes what's about to happen and becomes angry]''
:'''Phasma:''' Is that all I get!? I'm [[w:Gwendoline Christie|Gwendoline goddamn Christie!]] I'm fifth least likely to die on [[w:Game of Thrones|Game of Thrones]]!
:'''Finn:''' Sorry. We had to cut it short.
:'''Phasma:''' For what?!
:'''Finn:''' For BORING ''CASINO '''FILLER!'''''
:'''Phasma:''' '''LAME!!''' ''[Falls to her fiery death]''
:''[Rose approaches Finn]''
:'''Finn &amp; Rose:''' MacGuffin number 4!
:'''Finn:''' ''[Looking bored]'' We need ''real'' surprises in this.
:'''Rose:''' Right?

{{DEFAULTSORT:Nostalgia Critic, The 10}}
[[Category:Internet shows]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Julie Newmar</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>196145</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149171</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:06:23Z</timestamp>
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        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
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      <text bytes="2339" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Julie Newmar Catwoman Batman 1966.JPG|thumb|right|Newmar as Catwoman (1966)]]

'''[[w:Julie Newmar|Julie Newmar]]''' (born '''Julia Chalene Newmeyer'''; August 16, 1933) is an American actress, dancer and singer, known for a variety of stage, screen, and television roles.

== Quotes ==
* Adam set the bar so high for portraying the role of Batman, He was wonderful, spot on, with a twinkle in his eye. He had it all -- looks, charm, intelligence, I could go on and on. In conversation, he was very animated and once told me that Batman was the father that everyone wanted! I never thought of it that way! He had a great way of playing that 'tongue-in-cheek' nature in so much of the dialogue. I had a long, engaging conversation with him and his wife, Marcelle, about their life in Montana, If I had to describe him in a word or two, they would be 'stellar' and 'exemplar,' qualities that we want to encourage in ourselves and in young people.
** [http://www.etonline.com/news/219389_batman_star_julie_newmar_remembers_adam_west/ 'Batman' Co-Star Julie Newmar Remembers Adam West: 'He Had It All'] (June 10, 2017)

* My kind of female power can’t be owned. I may feign enslavement, but I never let myself be unloved, even by myself, that would not do. I rarely argue - I consider. I wait till enough information is in and then the answer, answers itself. My imagination does tolerate empty space. Female power does not disagree with a compliment. Compliments shall be relished, like rich chocolate, like an inside caress. I make time to feel it, all the way up and down my body. Let the world please you. Use your female power. It was set up that way.
** [http://www.julienewmarwrites.com/story.php?idStory=122 Female Power] (April 28, 2017)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://julienewmar.com Official website]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Newmar, Julie}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Comedians from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]
[[Category:Businesspeople from the United States]]
[[Category:LGBT rights activists]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Los Angeles]]
[[Category:1933 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Tony Award winners]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Despicable Me 3</title>
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'''''[[W:Despicable Me 3|Despicable Me 3]]''''' (stylized as '''''DESPICABLE M3''''' in trailers and the movie) is a [[W:2017 in film|2017]] American 3D computer-animated comedy film in which Gru teams up with his long lost twin Dru in order to defeat a new enemy named Balthazar Bratt, a 1980s child actor who grows up to become a villain. It is the third installment in the [[W:Despicable Me (franchise)|''Despicable Me'' film series]] and the sequel to ''[[Despicable Me 2]]'' (2013). 

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]] and [[w:Kyle Balda|Kyle Balda]] and co-directed by Eric Guillon. Written by [[w:Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio|Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio]].

{{center|'''Oh brother.''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

== Gru ==
* There's always a blind choad.
* What, twin brother?
* Get ready, Bratt! You're about to be blasted back to the 80s!
* No! Kyle, stop! Kyle let go!

== Dru ==
* Face it, Gru. Villainy is in your blood!
* ''[&quot;hugging&quot; Gru while jumping up and down]'' Oh, I love this guy! Look at him! But hair would make you better. ''[lightly punches Gru all over as Gru tries to stop him]'' Look at his face! Oh, he's so mad! ''[does an impression of Gru's face]''

== Bratt ==
* ''[repeated line]'' I've been a bad boy!
* This isn't over, Gru! You hear me? This is ''not'' over!
* Gum one, gum all!
* Well, now that I've got the diamond, it's payback time. Oh, it's too bad Gru won't be around to try and stop me. Oh, wait! No, it's not! I hate that tweeb! And you, [[w:Hollywood, Los Angeles|Hollywood]]! This time, I'm canceling you! And all the losers who rejected me! ''[laughs evilly]''

== Dialogue ==
:''[first lines]''
:'''TV Show Host''': The year was 1985, and #1 hit show on TV was…
:'''Young Balthazar Bratt''': ''Evil Bratt''!
:'''TV Show Host''': The show stared young Balthazar Bratt as a child, prodigy and criminal mastermind bent on world domination!
:'''Military Officer''': There he is! Get him!
:''[Bratt kicks the military officials]''
:'''Young Bratt''': I've been a bad boy!
:'''TV Show Host''': Bratt was the biggest child actor of the 1980s, striking a chord with audiences all over the world.
:''[Two kids cheer and high-five with Bratt dolls. Bratt, now a pre-teen, lands]''
:'''Military Officer''': There he is! Get him!
:'''TV Show Host''': ''[as Bratt kicks the military officials]'' But it all came to an end in Season 3, when…
:''[Bratt turns to the viewers revealing that his face is covered in pimples]''
:'''Teenage Bratt''': I've been a bad boy!
:'''TV Show Host''': The young star experienced an unexpected growth spurt.
:'''Teenage Bratt''': Boy? Boy?! '''AGGGGHHH!'''
:''[As Bratt groans in disgust, the word &quot;CANCELED&quot; appears]''
:'''TV Show Host''': The show was canceled. [[w:Hollywood, Los Angeles|Hollywood]] rejected him, and Bratt quickly plunged into a downward spiral, starting to actually believe he ''was'' the character he played on TV.
:'''Teen Bratt''': What are you looking at?
:''[Bratt shakes the camera, then punches the screen, shattering it into small pieces]''
:'''TV Show Host''': Leading us to wonder… where is he now?
:''[Bratt runs away, shoving people as he laughs meanly. A few years later, a ship is seen through binoculars. Bratt, now an adult, chuckles evilly as he chews gum]''
:'''Bratt''': You know what, Clive? Playing a villain on TV was fun, but being one in real life is even better! Heist music!
:'''Clive''': Here it comes!
:''[Clive inserts a tape into the boat's radio, which plays [[w:Berlin (band)|Berlin]]'s &quot;[[W:Take My Breath Away|Take My Breath Away]]&quot;]''
:'''Bratt''': D'oh! What?! Clive, what are you doing?! How is that heist music?!
:'''Clive''': Sorry! My bad.
:''[Clive ejects the tape, flips it over, then inserts it back, now playing [[Michael Jackson]]'s &quot;[[w:Bad (Michael Jackson song)|Bad]]&quot;]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''A.V.L. Tech''': Sir, the ship has been boarded by some kinda of... monster!
:'''Silas Ramsbottom''': Wait, that’s not a monster.
:''[Silas zooms in on the boat, revealing Bratt]''
:'''Silas''': That’s a man wearing shoulder pads! There’s only one supervillain whose fashion sense is quite that dated, Balthazar Bratt. Blast it, the Dumont Diamond is on that ship! I want every agent in the area on the scene immediately!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lucy''': We're already here! Agents Grucy are closing fast!
:'''Gru''': Yeah! Wait. What? What did you call us?
:'''Lucy''': Grucy! You know, Gru and Lucy mushed together. Try it.
:'''Gru''': Oh, I like it, but not a lot. I don't like it.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bratt''': Hello, Gru! How's your transition coming? You know, from world's worst villain to world's worst agent?
:''[Bratt aims a gun at Gru]''
:'''Gru''': Oh, that's hilarious, you should be on TV.
:''[Gru smacks the gun off Bratt's hand]''
:'''Gru''': Oh, that's right. You ''were''! ''[pulls out his freeze ray]'' But then you got canceled! 
:''[Bratt smacks the freeze ray off Gru's hand and pulls out a larger gun as he laughs. Gru smacks the gun away and then pulls out… a small water pistol?]''
:'''Gru''': What about that? Huh? Ugh! Girls!
:''[Gru throws the water pistol at Bratt's face]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bratt''': Gru! Did you actually think I was unconscious?
:'''Gru''': What?
:'''Bratt''': It's called acting, hoser. And clearly, I've still ''got'' it!
:''[Bratt plays the intro to [[w:Van Halen|Van Halen]]'s &quot;[[w:Jump (Van Halen song)|Jump]]&quot; on his sonic keytar, blowing Gru off of the ship]''
:'''Bratt''': I've been a bad boy! ''[laughs]''
:'''Alpha Team Leader''': Freeze! Don't move!
:'''Bratt''': Son of a Betamax!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Silas''': Thank you for coming in such short notice. It is with great sadness that I must inform that as of today, I am retiring as head of the AVL.
:''[All the agents gasp in shock]''
:'''Lucy''': Oh, no!
:'''Silas''': Your new leader is coming directly from head office, effective immediately. She is the very gifted. ''[under his breath]'' The very ''ambitious'', Miss Valerie da Vinci. As I look out over all your faces, I am fluttered with so many memories.
:'''Valerie da Vinci''': Oh, boy, this is a snooze fest! Blah, blah, blah, we understand, you're old, look, you're fat, you're done.
:'''Silas''': Ooh! ''[grunts]'' Let me breathe in! ''[gets shoved into the ejection hole]''
:'''Valerie''': Whew, broke a little sweat there. ''[chuckles]'' First order of business. ''[clears throat]'' Which one of you losers is Agent Gru?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Minions are cheering because they want to go back to villainy]''
:'''Gru''': Guys! Shh, shh, shh, shh! I don't think you heard me right! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This does not mean that we're going back to being villains!
:'''Minions''': Awww...
:'''Stuart''': Pinyoof la komiko!
:'''Gru''': Okay, alright, I get it. Look, I know it's been a little tough lately, especially with Dr. Nefario accidentally [[The Empire Strikes Back|freezing himself in carbonite]].
:''[Dr. Nefario is completely frozen while three Minions try to break him out]''
:'''Gru''': But our life of crime is over! Ugh. Mel! Mel, you're with me on this, right?
:'''Mel''': Ugh! Looka!
:''[Each slide shows Gru doing some villainous things and chores while the Minions cheer and boo]''
:'''Mel''': MINIONS, NO LE PINYOOF! ''[the Minions all rouse up]'' Pinyoof, pinyoof, pinyoof!
:'''Gru''': Guys, listen to me! Read my lips! Leso me lipo! Pomo doro la comquit!
:''[The Minions laugh]''
:'''Gru''': What? What did I say? ''[pulls out a Minions language book]'' It's not &quot;comquit&quot;? Ah, okay. Pomo doro la kumquat!
:'''Mel''': Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pulisso kumquit parado. Lury para yo.
:'''Gru''': Don't take that tone with me! We're not going back to villainy!
:'''Mel''': Uh? No pirany?
:'''Gru''': Yes! And I don't want to hear another word about it! ''[the Minions all blow raspberries at Gru]'' Look! If you guys don't stop right now, there will be consequences!
:'''Mel''': Eh? Poro es me moro!
:'''Gru''': Hey, don't say anything you're going to regret!
:'''Mel''': Ooh, no re paros! El es quita! Choperu! ''[he and the other Minions leave]''
:'''Gru''': What, you quit? You're serious? Come on! ''[Bob angrily stomps on Mel's Gru hat and leaves with all the Minions... except for Dave and Jerry, who just walked into the room, unaware of what just happened]'' Dave! Jerry! Good news, guys! You've just been promoted! You're in charge now! Huh? Not bad!
:'''Dave and Jerry''': ''[whoop excitingly as they tear off their Hawaiian costumes and begin rubbing their butts together]'' ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA!
:'''Gru''': Oh.. GEESH!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In Paris, a luxury car stops outside the museum. A guard opens the door and a giant chubby man squeezes out of the car. The doors burst open as the man enters]''
:'''Museum Director''': ''Monsieur'' Pompeux!
:''[The museum director kisses Pompeux's cheeks]''
:'''Museum Director''': So, what do we owe the presence of the world's foremost gem expert?
:'''Pompeux''': The chief of police sent me. He was censored that during the recent heist attempt, the Dumont Diamond was replaced with a phony.
:''[The museum director and his friends gasp. Pompeux enters a room where the Dumont Diamond sits on a pedestal surrounded by lasers. Pompeux snaps his fingers causing the lasers to turn off, examines the diamond with a jewelers loop, sniffs it with his nose, then licks it with his tongue.]''
:'''Pompeux''': Ooh-la-la! You have been duped!
:'''Museum Director''': What?! We have?
:'''Pompeux''': Yes. By ''me''!
:''[Darts fire from the loop, knocking out 5 guards]''
:'''Museum Director''': What? What is…?
:''[A rubber mask of Pompeux's head gets tossed into the museum director's face. He removes it then gasps]''
:'''Museum Director''': Oh, no! Help!
:''[Just as the museum director runs, a 6th dart strikes his butt and he collapses on the floor. The costume of Pomepeux's body starts to shake as Bratt gets out of it.]''
:'''Bratt''': ''[laughing evilly]''
:''[Bratt hits play on a portable cassette player which [[w:Take On Me|Take on Me]] by [[w:A-ha|A-ha]] plays. A grappling hook fires from the player, crashing through a glass dome in the ceiling, then pops into a disco ball. Bratt attaches the player to his belt, then laughs as he grabs the diamond.]''
:'''Bratt''': I've been a bad boy! Or should I say, ''Je suis un mauvais garçon''!
:''[Bratt laughs as he disappears]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': ''[runs over to Agnes after she sells the fluffy unicorn]'' Agnes, what are you doing? You sold your unicorn?
:'''Agnes''': Well, I just wanted to help since you don't have a job. I got 2 whole dollars for it!
:'''Dave and Jerry''': Aww...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': Wait, what? It's true? You never told me I had a brother, and you told me that Dad died of disappointment when I was born!
:'''Gru's Mom''': Yeah. That was the agreement.
:'''Gru''': &quot;Agreement&quot;? What are you talking about?
:'''Gru's Mom''': ''[sighs]'' Shortly after you and your brother were born, your father and I divorced. We each took one son to raise on our own and promised never to see each other again. Obviously, I got second pick.
:'''Gru''': I have a brother.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dru''': ''[notices Lucy and dances with her]'' You must be the beautiful wife.
:'''Lucy''': Beautiful? Oh! ''[Dru twirls her around and catches her] [laughs]'' Stop it! ''[tugs Dru's scarf]'' Sweet talker.
:'''Dru''': ''[then wraps his arm around Gru, with the other still holding Lucy]'' How is my brother finding a wife like you when he is so bald? ''[rubs Gru's head]'' I'm joking!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dru''': So, brother, how are things going for you career-wise?
:'''Gru''': ''[laughs nervously]'' Great. So, so great... crushing it...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Edith and Agnes are at the Tipsy Unicorn tavern. Agnes discovers a real unicorn's horn]''
:'''Scar-Faced Man''': I'm telling you I saw one once. With my own EYE! &quot;[On 'eye', he bends down toward Agnes' face]''
:'''Agnes''': ''[waving her arms to halt the man]'' Wait, wait, wait. You saw a for-real live UNICORN?! What did it look like? What do you think?''[gasps]'' Did you pet it? Did it smell like candy? Was it… '''''fluffyyyyyyy?!'''''
:'''Scar-Faced Man''': It was so fluffy, I though I was going to die!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lucy''': So... what did you guys do today?
:'''Gru and Dru''': ''[lying]'' Nothing!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Margo''': Um...
:'''Lucy''': What?
:'''Margo''': It's OK to tell them &quot;no&quot; sometimes, too. You know? Moms need to be tough.
:'''Lucy''': Right. Tough. I can totally do that! Still figuring out this mom thing. ''[imitates a pirate captain]'' Getting my sea legs, matey.
:'''Margo''': My mom and dad.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Dru's doorbell rings. Lucy answers it]''
:'''Lucy''': Hello? ''[sees Niko]'' Oh, hi.
:'''Niko''': Hello, mother of Margo. I am Niko. I present you with pig to confirm my engagement to your daughter.
:''[The pig squeals]''
:'''Lucy''': ''[laughs]'' Hey, what now?
:'''Margo''': What's going on? Go on.
:'''Lucy''': Uh, remember Little Boots?
:'''Niko''': Hello, my schmoopsie-poo. ''[tries to kiss Margo]''
:'''Margo''': Whoa! Hey!
:'''Lucy''': He seems to think you're engaged. ''[laughs]''
:'''Margo''': What? ''[as Niko kisses her hand]'' We're not engaged.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lucy hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Lucy''': Ugh, here we go. Niko... ''[gasps]''
:''[Niko is standing next to an angry woman carrying a baby. It is his mother]''
:'''Niko's mother''': You... refuse my son's engagement pig?
:'''Lucy''': What?
:'''Niko's mother''': May you and your daughter die a slow death and be buried with onions!
:''[She spits at Margo. The baby does the same. Margo gasps in fright and hides behind Lucy, holding her hand. Lucy gets angry]''
:'''Lucy''': Alright, lady, that's it! Nobody, but ''nobody'' curses my daughter! Got it? ''[Margo is surprised by how Lucy is defending her]'' Because if you mess with Margo, you mess ''with me''! And I promise you, you do ''not'' wanna mess with me! Understand?!
:'''Niko's mother''': Yes, yes.
:'''Lucy''': ''[calmly]'' Good. ''[angrily]'' Now, get! ''[Niko's mother takes her son's hand and they hurry off. Lucy then turns to Margo, thinking she's still upset with her]'' Look, Margo, I think we just need to–
:''[Margo hugs her tightly. Lucy is startled at first, but hugs her too]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the mansion, Gru is about to leave out the door when suddenly he hears banging from the closet]''
:'''Gru''': Huh?
:''[Gru opens the closet door and gasps]''
:'''Gru''': Lucy?
:''[Gru finds the real Lucy bound and gagged in the closet then removes the gag from her mouth]''
:'''Gru''': What is...?
:'''Lucy''': ''[breaths]'' It's Bratt! He took the girls!
:'''Gru ''': What?! No!
:''[Through a window, the jet flies off. Gru watches in horror. Dru, drowning his misery after his argument, eats ice cream as Gru and Lucy approach him]''
:'''Gru''': Dru! Dru!
:''[Dru turns away from him]''
:'''Dru''': Go away! I don't wanna talk to you.
:'''Gru''': ''(No, listen!)'' Bratt has the girls!
:''[Dru stops eating his ice cream, then gasps in shock. In the sky, Gru flies the rocket jet with Dru and Lucy]''
:'''Gru''': Listen, brother, about what I just said...
:'''Dru''': No, I'm the one.
:'''Gru''': I shouldn't have... ''[sighs]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Dru''': Oh, I'm sorry, too, Gru.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bratt''': ''[laughing]'' Hello, Hollywood! ''[on speaker]'' I'm back and bigger than ever.
:''[The girls and Lucky are inside the robot's chest]''
:'''Agnes''': ''[shrieking]'' I'm scared!
:'''Celebrity''': Thank you. Thank you so... Oh!
:''[The celebrity spots the robot as the people flee]''
:'''Celebrity''': No! No! No, you can’t leave me here! I’m famous!
:'''Bratt''': ''[laughs]'' Clive, arm the cannons.
:''[Gum launchers appear on the robot's shoulder pads]''
:'''Bratt''': Chew on this!
:''[As gum launches from the launchers, they become bubbles, covering the city. People scream and run around in panic. The robot steps over a woman, who screams]''
:'''Edith''': Hey, mullet-head, let us outta here!
:'''Bratt''': Oh, don't worry, girls, I’ve prepare a front row seat for you.
:''[Bratt flips a switch, and a panel opens on the robot's chest. The girls scream as a they and Lucky slide on the robot's hand. The robot drops the girls and Lucky on the ledge of a tall building. Agnes screams as she hangs on for dear life]''
:'''Margo''': Agnes!
:''[Margo and Edith help her up]''
:'''Bratt''': Once again, I win and Gru loses! Enjoy the show, girls. ''(You too, little goat.)''
:''[As the robot walks off, the girls gape at the gum. The rocket jet arrives]''
:'''Gru''': What in the heck?
:'''Lucy''': Oh! I hope the girls are OK!
:'''Dru''': Bratt! Bratt at 9 o'clock! No, 3 o'clock! He's on the left!
:''[The robot is nearby]''
:'''Dru''': ''[gasps]'' No, I’ve seen this episode! He’s gonna bubblegum the whole city and send it up into space!
:'''Lucy''': ''[gasps]'' Hurry!
:''[Dru yelps]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Dru disabled the robot, Gru, regaining consciousness, runs over]''
:'''Bratt''': You've ruined everything! And now, it's time to die! Any last words?
:'''Gru''': You know what? I got two words for you. Dance fight!
:''[Gru starts dancing as &quot;[[w:Into the Groove|Into the Groove]]&quot; by [[Madonna]] plays]''
:'''Bratt''': Oh, it is on like [[w:Donkey Kong|Donkey Kong]]! I'm gonna enjoy this!
:''[Bratt and Gru start to dance fight]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bratt''': Game over!
:''[Bratt laughs evilly as he tries to reach for his keytar, causing his evil laugh to fade]''
:'''Gru''': ''[holding Bratt's keytar]'' Is ''this'' what you're looking for?
:'''Bratt''': No!
:''[Gru gets blasts Bratt into the bubblegum playing [[Dire Straits]]' [[w:Money for Nothing (song)|Money for Nothing]]]''
:'''Bratt''': No!
:''[Gru drops the keytar and walks off]''
:'''Bratt''': Curse you, Gru!
:''[Bratt bumps into an [[Minions (film)|Onions]] billboard]''
:'''Bratt''': ''[last words]'' Ow! Curse you!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Agnes called Lucy &quot;mom&quot;]''
:'''Lucy''': I'm a mom. I'm a mom!
:''[Lucy gets excited as she runs off]''

== Cast ==
* [[w:Steve Carell|Steve Carell]] — Felonious Gru, Dru Gru
* [[w:Kristen Wiig|Kristen Wiig]] — Lucy Wilde-Gru
* [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] — Balthazar Bratt
* [[w:Miranda Cosgrove|Miranda Cosgrove]] — Margo Gru
* [[w:Dana Gaier|Dana Gaier]] — Edith Gru
* Nev Scharrel — Agnes Gru
* [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffins]] — Minions
* [[Steve Coogan]] — Silas, Fritz
* [[Julie Andrews]] — Marlena Gru
* [[w:Jenny Slate|Jenny Slate]] — Valerie da Vinci
* [[w:Andy Nyman|Andy Nyman]] — Clive the Robot
* [[Frank Welker]] — Kyle, Lucky

==External Links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|id=3469046|title=Despicable Me 3}}

{{Despicable Me}}

[[Category:2017 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films about orphans]]</text>
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    <title>Lea Michele</title>
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      <id>3149160</id>
      <parentid>2599411</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:54:29Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1343" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Lea Michele Comic Con by Gage Skidmore.jpg|thumb|{{w|Lea Michele}} in 2015]]

'''[[w:Lea Michele|Lea Michele Sarfati]]''' (born [[August 29]], [[1986]]) is an American actress and singer.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* I go back and forth between [being a [[Veganism|vegan]] and not being a vegan]. I try lots of different things. I really feel that you need to kind of listen to your body and what your body is telling you to eat. So I was a vegan for about two years. … Well, everything with being vegan and vegetarian is a really big commitment. You have to do what you feel is best and what you believe in and what your body is telling you that it needs. I really think everyone should do what’s best for them, and what’s best for me may not be best for someone else. But like I said, you just have to do what makes you feel good.
** [http://www.shape.com/celebrities/interviews/lea-michele-gleek-do-gooder “Lea Michele: From Gleek to Do-Gooder,” interview with ''Shape'' (July 2012)].

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Michele, Lea}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:1986 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from New Jersey]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:Pop singers]]</text>
      <sha1>2lbt0rzfw7v23ix2a0zqizrdxsptgcf</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Cassie Scerbo</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>197031</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149233</id>
      <parentid>2599448</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T00:57:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Image</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1912" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Cassie Scerbo 2009.jpg|thumb|Cassie Scerbo in 2009]]

'''[[w:Cassie Scerbo|Cassandra Lynn &quot;Cassie&quot; Scerbo]]''' (March 30, 1990 –) is an American actress, singer and dancer.

== Quotes ==
* If there's anything that I can tell people that are being bullied, it's that the bullies are really the ones that are hurting. Playing Lauren Tanner made me realize that she was evil because she was harboring so much pain from her childhood. And if there's anything I would tell anyone who is being bullied, it's to just let it go. Bullies are the insecure ones and the ones who are trying to get a rise out of you to make themselves feel better.
** [http://amp.uk.complex.com/pop-culture/2013/07/interview-sharknado-star-cassie-scerbo Interview: &quot;Sharknado&quot; Star Cassie Scerbo Talks Being a Fanboy Favorite and Her Upcoming Music] (July 24, 2013)

* Everything in your career is a stepping stone because it’s an experience, and experience is the biggest thing.
** [https://www.clichemag.com/entertainment-interview/cassie-scerbo-interview Cassie Scerbo Interview] (June 15, 2015)

* I was very, very, very shocked about the outcome of the first one, what it became, and the domino effect from the news outlets that were covering it and the social media trends that grew out of it. It goes to show that you never know what is going to take off in Hollywood; it’s so unpredictable, so you just have to have fun with it.
** [https://www.clichemag.com/entertainment-interview/cassie-scerbo-interview Cassie Scerbo Interview] (June 15, 2015)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Scerbo, Cassie}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:1990 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from New York (state)]]
[[Category:People from Florida]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]</text>
      <sha1>3lhru7wqnady75ecn2erdksv3b3dd3t</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Aubrey Peeples</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>197052</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149178</id>
      <parentid>2599428</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:11:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Image</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1226" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Aubrey Peeples on 2014 “Red, White and Air Force Blue Christmas”.jpg|thumb|Aubrey Peeples in 2014]]

'''[[w:Aubrey Peeples|Aubrey Shea Peeples]]''' (November 27, 1993 –) is an American actress and singer.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* To me, your individual passion is what makes you an individual, and that might sound cheesy but it's really true. You should absolutely go after what you're passionate about because without it you lose what makes you you, and I think that's applicable not just to kids but to everyone. I feel like that is so integral to, not necessarily happiness, but to being comfortable with who you are. So that's what I would say, be comfortable with who you are and find self-worth in that.
** [http://community.sparknotes.com/2015/10/12/exclusive-aubrey-peeples-interview-jem Aubrey Peeples Talks About Becoming Jem, Accepting Who You Are (a Slytherin), and the Literal Skeletons in Her Closet] (October 12, 2015)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Peeples, Aubrey}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:1993 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:People from Florida]]</text>
      <sha1>7esjiy98j6kvkz8m5gbmqnzg8ao0jst</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mickey Mouse Clubhouse</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>197301</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3148993</id>
      <parentid>3148762</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T12:58:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2A02:C7F:5768:B300:91DD:903A:888:47A</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7553" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up]''
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffin' somethin'. Hey uh, I wonder what it could be. ''[hears a &quot;baa&quot; noise and looks around]'' Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds as Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If ''you'' see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3148998</id>
      <parentid>3148993</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:25:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* pilot 1.00 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9166" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as it pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head, appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up]''
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffin' somethin'. Hey uh, I wonder what it could be. ''[hears a &quot;baa&quot; noise and looks around]'' Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds as Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If ''you'' see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149000</id>
      <parentid>3148998</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:28:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* pilot 1.00 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9165" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as it pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up]''
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffin' somethin'. Hey uh, I wonder what it could be. ''[hears a &quot;baa&quot; noise and looks around]'' Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds as Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If ''you'' see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>ddslc03kecfbgbz21aqetcf9o5d1p3d</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149002</id>
      <parentid>3149000</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:38:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9629" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as it pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up]''
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffin' somethin'. Hey uh, I wonder what it could be. ''[hears a &quot;baa&quot; noise and looks around]'' Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds as Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If ''you'' see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;


=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles
:'''Donald ''': aw

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>jl8m1f3g0aovvitjwrafa2t0uplk5ms</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149005</id>
      <parentid>3149002</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:39:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* A surprise for Minnie [1.02] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9630" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as it pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up]''
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffin' somethin'. Hey uh, I wonder what it could be. ''[hears a &quot;baa&quot; noise and looks around]'' Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds as Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If ''you'' see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;


=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald ''': aw

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>0lek0aulzbrujcx6edfeuq2dmzza9rs</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149013</id>
      <parentid>3149005</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T14:22:35Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* A surprise for Minnie [1.02] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11757" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as it pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up]''
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffin' somethin'. Hey uh, I wonder what it could be. ''[hears a &quot;baa&quot; noise and looks around]'' Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds as Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If ''you'' see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;


=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald ''': aw

===Goofys bird [1.03]===
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) we got our mousketools, alright
:'''Mickey''': now, we can take baby red bird back home to the forest
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet (goofy hold baby red bird in his hands and leave)
:'''Mickey''': but first, we need to go up to the telescope to find the forest
:'''Mickey''': everybody say. Telescope!
:'''Mickey and goofy''': TELESCOPE (a cup car appear from nowhere as Mickey and goofy jump and land straight to the cup cars seats) (it's seat belts strap Mickey and goofy as they sit)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckkes) hold on tight everybody (the cup car head straight up like a rocket, and zooms off)
(They make their way up to the telescope)
:'''Mickey''': whoa, yippie
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet
:'''Goofy''': he's eating
(The cup car heads right to the ear where the telescope is) (the clubhouse right ear opens up revealing a telescope)
:'''Mickey''': the telescope can help us see things car away
:'''Mickey''': let's see if we can find the forest (as Mickey hold the telescope out for the viewer to see, the camera zooms straight at the telescope) (in the telescopes view, a beautiful view of trees appear, the telescope turns to the right revealing a lake)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response)
:'''Mickey''': nope, that's a lake, forests are made up of trees, let's keep looking
(The telescope turns right fast revealing Minnie and daisy eating outside the Mickey parks bar)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response again)huh
:'''Mickey''': nuh uh, that's Mickey park
(The telescope turns right once again, but this time, it was the right location)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest?
:'''Mickey''': you betcha, that's a forest
:'''Mickey''': ha, good job pal (Mickey gives the viewer a thumbs up)
:'''goofy''': but mickey, how are we gonna get baby red bird, all the way to the forest?
:'''Mickey''': hmm, i got it! We can fly the glove balloon to the forest
:'''goofy''': well whaddya ya know
:'''Mickey''': glove balloon, here we come
:'''goofy''': baby red bird, we're taking you home
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>6hfixqrrdl442n5t0hkonzijjkp4z0q</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149014</id>
      <parentid>3149013</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T14:23:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Goofys bird [1.03] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11757" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as it pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up]''
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffin' somethin'. Hey uh, I wonder what it could be. ''[hears a &quot;baa&quot; noise and looks around]'' Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds as Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If ''you'' see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;


=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald ''': aw

===Goofys bird [1.03]===
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) we got our mousketools, alright
:'''Mickey''': now, we can take baby red bird back home to the forest
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet (goofy hold baby red bird in his hands and leave)
:'''Mickey''': but first, we need to go up to the telescope to find the forest
:'''Mickey''': everybody say. Telescope!
:'''Mickey and goofy''': TELESCOPE (a cup car appear from nowhere as Mickey and goofy jump and land straight to the cup cars seats) (it's seat belts strap Mickey and goofy as they sit)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckkes) hold on tight everybody (the cup car head straight up like a rocket, and zooms off)
(They make their way up to the telescope)
:'''Mickey''': whoa, yippie
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet
:'''Goofy''': he's eating
(The cup car heads right to the ear where the telescope is) (the clubhouse right ear opens up revealing a telescope)
:'''Mickey''': the telescope can help us see things see away
:'''Mickey''': let's see if we can find the forest (as Mickey hold the telescope out for the viewer to see, the camera zooms straight at the telescope) (in the telescopes view, a beautiful view of trees appear, the telescope turns to the right revealing a lake)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response)
:'''Mickey''': nope, that's a lake, forests are made up of trees, let's keep looking
(The telescope turns right fast revealing Minnie and daisy eating outside the Mickey parks bar)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response again)huh
:'''Mickey''': nuh uh, that's Mickey park
(The telescope turns right once again, but this time, it was the right location)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest?
:'''Mickey''': you betcha, that's a forest
:'''Mickey''': ha, good job pal (Mickey gives the viewer a thumbs up)
:'''goofy''': but mickey, how are we gonna get baby red bird, all the way to the forest?
:'''Mickey''': hmm, i got it! We can fly the glove balloon to the forest
:'''goofy''': well whaddya ya know
:'''Mickey''': glove balloon, here we come
:'''goofy''': baby red bird, we're taking you home
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>p2m53mylz5l7siui7k1rap713o3i017</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149088</id>
      <parentid>3149014</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:27:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* pilot 1.00 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11766" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as the camera pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse!

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up]''
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffin' somethin'. Hey uh, I wonder what it could be. ''[hears a &quot;baa&quot; noise and looks around]'' Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds as Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If ''you'' see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;


=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald ''': aw

===Goofys bird [1.03]===
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) we got our mousketools, alright
:'''Mickey''': now, we can take baby red bird back home to the forest
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet (goofy hold baby red bird in his hands and leave)
:'''Mickey''': but first, we need to go up to the telescope to find the forest
:'''Mickey''': everybody say. Telescope!
:'''Mickey and goofy''': TELESCOPE (a cup car appear from nowhere as Mickey and goofy jump and land straight to the cup cars seats) (it's seat belts strap Mickey and goofy as they sit)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckkes) hold on tight everybody (the cup car head straight up like a rocket, and zooms off)
(They make their way up to the telescope)
:'''Mickey''': whoa, yippie
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet
:'''Goofy''': he's eating
(The cup car heads right to the ear where the telescope is) (the clubhouse right ear opens up revealing a telescope)
:'''Mickey''': the telescope can help us see things see away
:'''Mickey''': let's see if we can find the forest (as Mickey hold the telescope out for the viewer to see, the camera zooms straight at the telescope) (in the telescopes view, a beautiful view of trees appear, the telescope turns to the right revealing a lake)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response)
:'''Mickey''': nope, that's a lake, forests are made up of trees, let's keep looking
(The telescope turns right fast revealing Minnie and daisy eating outside the Mickey parks bar)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response again)huh
:'''Mickey''': nuh uh, that's Mickey park
(The telescope turns right once again, but this time, it was the right location)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest?
:'''Mickey''': you betcha, that's a forest
:'''Mickey''': ha, good job pal (Mickey gives the viewer a thumbs up)
:'''goofy''': but mickey, how are we gonna get baby red bird, all the way to the forest?
:'''Mickey''': hmm, i got it! We can fly the glove balloon to the forest
:'''goofy''': well whaddya ya know
:'''Mickey''': glove balloon, here we come
:'''goofy''': baby red bird, we're taking you home
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>r3ojs2n6em9h02jxolt50m6crtclt1w</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149093</id>
      <parentid>3149088</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:49:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12489" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as the camera pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse!

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and them the camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffing somethin, Hey uh, I wonder what it could be?
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds while Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If you see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;
[Pluto sniffs for the sheep I front of the red sofa] [a sheep pops up from behind saying...]
:'''Sheep''': baa!
[Pluto jumps in fright and then spotted the sheep]
:'''pluto''': bark bark
:'''Mickey''': huh, y-you seen a sheep? [Mickey looks at the sofa] wh-where? [Mickeys eyes blink as he waits for a response]
:'''Mickey''': behind the chair? [Mickey looks at sofa again and then this time, he founds the sheep]
:'''Mickey''': there it is, you found it [Mickey walks to the sheep then stroke his wool] 
:'''Mickey''': hiya sheep
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hmm, I wonder what a sheep's doing in the clubhouse?
[As Pluto creeps behind the sheep, Mickey thinks, after Pluto creeps, the sheep...]
:'''Sheep''': BAA

=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald ''': aw

===Goofys bird [1.03]===
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) we got our mousketools, alright
:'''Mickey''': now, we can take baby red bird back home to the forest
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet (goofy hold baby red bird in his hands and leave)
:'''Mickey''': but first, we need to go up to the telescope to find the forest
:'''Mickey''': everybody say. Telescope!
:'''Mickey and goofy''': TELESCOPE (a cup car appear from nowhere as Mickey and goofy jump and land straight to the cup cars seats) (it's seat belts strap Mickey and goofy as they sit)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckkes) hold on tight everybody (the cup car head straight up like a rocket, and zooms off)
(They make their way up to the telescope)
:'''Mickey''': whoa, yippie
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet
:'''Goofy''': he's eating
(The cup car heads right to the ear where the telescope is) (the clubhouse right ear opens up revealing a telescope)
:'''Mickey''': the telescope can help us see things see away
:'''Mickey''': let's see if we can find the forest (as Mickey hold the telescope out for the viewer to see, the camera zooms straight at the telescope) (in the telescopes view, a beautiful view of trees appear, the telescope turns to the right revealing a lake)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response)
:'''Mickey''': nope, that's a lake, forests are made up of trees, let's keep looking
(The telescope turns right fast revealing Minnie and daisy eating outside the Mickey parks bar)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response again)huh
:'''Mickey''': nuh uh, that's Mickey park
(The telescope turns right once again, but this time, it was the right location)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest?
:'''Mickey''': you betcha, that's a forest
:'''Mickey''': ha, good job pal (Mickey gives the viewer a thumbs up)
:'''goofy''': but mickey, how are we gonna get baby red bird, all the way to the forest?
:'''Mickey''': hmm, i got it! We can fly the glove balloon to the forest
:'''goofy''': well whaddya ya know
:'''Mickey''': glove balloon, here we come
:'''goofy''': baby red bird, we're taking you home
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>g7le6d4vntge4kw5wvxsoldjtlel8vl</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149094</id>
      <parentid>3149093</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:50:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* A surprise for Minnie [1.02] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12488" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as the camera pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse!

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and them the camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffing somethin, Hey uh, I wonder what it could be?
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds while Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If you see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;
[Pluto sniffs for the sheep I front of the red sofa] [a sheep pops up from behind saying...]
:'''Sheep''': baa!
[Pluto jumps in fright and then spotted the sheep]
:'''pluto''': bark bark
:'''Mickey''': huh, y-you seen a sheep? [Mickey looks at the sofa] wh-where? [Mickeys eyes blink as he waits for a response]
:'''Mickey''': behind the chair? [Mickey looks at sofa again and then this time, he founds the sheep]
:'''Mickey''': there it is, you found it [Mickey walks to the sheep then stroke his wool] 
:'''Mickey''': hiya sheep
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hmm, I wonder what a sheep's doing in the clubhouse?
[As Pluto creeps behind the sheep, Mickey thinks, after Pluto creeps, the sheep...]
:'''Sheep''': BAA

=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald''': aw

===Goofys bird [1.03]===
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) we got our mousketools, alright
:'''Mickey''': now, we can take baby red bird back home to the forest
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet (goofy hold baby red bird in his hands and leave)
:'''Mickey''': but first, we need to go up to the telescope to find the forest
:'''Mickey''': everybody say. Telescope!
:'''Mickey and goofy''': TELESCOPE (a cup car appear from nowhere as Mickey and goofy jump and land straight to the cup cars seats) (it's seat belts strap Mickey and goofy as they sit)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckkes) hold on tight everybody (the cup car head straight up like a rocket, and zooms off)
(They make their way up to the telescope)
:'''Mickey''': whoa, yippie
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet
:'''Goofy''': he's eating
(The cup car heads right to the ear where the telescope is) (the clubhouse right ear opens up revealing a telescope)
:'''Mickey''': the telescope can help us see things see away
:'''Mickey''': let's see if we can find the forest (as Mickey hold the telescope out for the viewer to see, the camera zooms straight at the telescope) (in the telescopes view, a beautiful view of trees appear, the telescope turns to the right revealing a lake)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response)
:'''Mickey''': nope, that's a lake, forests are made up of trees, let's keep looking
(The telescope turns right fast revealing Minnie and daisy eating outside the Mickey parks bar)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response again)huh
:'''Mickey''': nuh uh, that's Mickey park
(The telescope turns right once again, but this time, it was the right location)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest?
:'''Mickey''': you betcha, that's a forest
:'''Mickey''': ha, good job pal (Mickey gives the viewer a thumbs up)
:'''goofy''': but mickey, how are we gonna get baby red bird, all the way to the forest?
:'''Mickey''': hmm, i got it! We can fly the glove balloon to the forest
:'''goofy''': well whaddya ya know
:'''Mickey''': glove balloon, here we come
:'''goofy''': baby red bird, we're taking you home
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149095</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T18:36:56Z</timestamp>
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      <comment>/* Goofys bird [1.03] */</comment>
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      <text bytes="15215" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as the camera pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse!

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and them the camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffing somethin, Hey uh, I wonder what it could be?
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds while Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If you see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;
[Pluto sniffs for the sheep I front of the red sofa] [a sheep pops up from behind saying...]
:'''Sheep''': baa!
[Pluto jumps in fright and then spotted the sheep]
:'''pluto''': bark bark
:'''Mickey''': huh, y-you seen a sheep? [Mickey looks at the sofa] wh-where? [Mickeys eyes blink as he waits for a response]
:'''Mickey''': behind the chair? [Mickey looks at sofa again and then this time, he founds the sheep]
:'''Mickey''': there it is, you found it [Mickey walks to the sheep then stroke his wool] 
:'''Mickey''': hiya sheep
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hmm, I wonder what a sheep's doing in the clubhouse?
[As Pluto creeps behind the sheep, Mickey thinks, after Pluto creeps, the sheep...]
:'''Sheep''': BAA

=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald''': aw

===Goofys bird [1.03]===
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) we got our mousketools, alright
:'''Mickey''': now, we can take baby red bird back home to the forest
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet (goofy hold baby red bird in his hands and leave)
:'''Mickey''': but first, we need to go up to the telescope to find the forest
:'''Mickey''': everybody say. Telescope!
:'''Mickey and goofy''': TELESCOPE (a cup car appear from nowhere as Mickey and goofy jump and land straight to the cup cars seats) (it's seat belts strap Mickey and goofy as they sit)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckkes) hold on tight everybody (the cup car head straight up like a rocket, and zooms off)
(They make their way up to the telescope)
:'''Mickey''': whoa, yippie
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet
:'''Goofy''': he's eating
(The cup car heads right to the ear where the telescope is) (the clubhouse right ear opens up revealing a telescope)
:'''Mickey''': the telescope can help us see things see away
:'''Mickey''': let's see if we can find the forest (as Mickey hold the telescope out for the viewer to see, the camera zooms straight at the telescope) (in the telescopes view, a beautiful view of trees appear, the telescope turns to the right revealing a lake)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response)
:'''Mickey''': nope, that's a lake, forests are made up of trees, let's keep looking
(The telescope turns right fast revealing Minnie and daisy eating outside the Mickey parks bar)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response again)huh
:'''Mickey''': nuh uh, that's Mickey park
(The telescope turns right once again, but this time, it was the right location)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest?
:'''Mickey''': you betcha, that's a forest
:'''Mickey''': ha, good job pal (Mickey gives the viewer a thumbs up)
:'''goofy''': but mickey, how are we gonna get baby red bird, all the way to the forest?
:'''Mickey''': hmm, i got it! We can fly the glove balloon to the forest
:'''goofy''': well whaddya ya know
:'''Mickey''': glove balloon, here we come
:'''goofy''': baby red bird, we're taking you home
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet

===Donalds big balloon race [1.04]===
:'''Mickey''': you know what? I once won a big blue ribbon in the balloon race
:'''Mickey''': see? That's me
:'''Mickey''': and these are all the other winners of the balloon race
:'''Mickey''': here's Minnie [Minnie wears a blue ribbon]
:'''Mickey''': here's daisy [Daisy wears a blue ribbon]
:'''Mickey''': Goofy [goofy wears a blue ribbon while pointing at it]
:'''Mickey''': and Pluto [Pluto wears a blue ribbon while sticking out his tongue]
[Mickey walks to the end of the hall of fame]
:'''Mickey''': when they cross the finish line first
:'''Mickey''': they got a big blue ribbon too
:'''Mickey''': but there's one of us who still hasn't won clubhouse big balloon race
:'''Mickey''': let's guess who it is
:'''Mickey''': he has feathers [acting like donald] a yellow beak [initiating donald big fat beak]
:'''Mickey''': and a sailor suit (foghorn)
:'''Mickey''': uh huh, it's Donald duck, right!
:'''Donald''': that's me (fanfare)
:'''Mickey''': ho ho donald, 
:'''pluto''': bark bark [Pluto floats on a balloon, tied to his skin, he leaves the camera]
:'''Donald''': hiya Mickey
:'''Mickey''': hiya pal, say uh donald?
:'''Mickey''': you gonna fly your balloon in the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': you bet, and this time I'm gonna win!
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, that's great
:'''Mickey''': donald, do you need any help, you know, flying your balloon?
:'''Donald''': no. I can do it all by myself [Donalds rope yanks as Donald zooms off
:'''Donald''': wah? Whoa!
:'''Mickey''': donald, wait! Where you going?
:'''pluto''': bark bark bark [Pluto tries to catch up, but his balloon was stuck] [luckily a handy helper was here with a pin, he pops the balloon] [and Pluto runs to Mickey and Donald] [outside Donald was dangling on the rope]
:'''Donald''': hey, mickey, look, uh oh, what's going on?
:'''Mickey''': hold on donald!
:'''Donald''': ha ha, wow! Whoo-hoo, this is fun, grab on
[Mickey jumps off the table them grab onto Donalds leg] [as he held on he later held the balloon down safely, Pluto helps, and so did donald]
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got Donalds balloon back down to the ground
:'''Donald''': whew, that was close, thanks [Mickey ties up donalds balloon to a tree]
:'''mickey''': uh, donald, are you sure we can't help you fly your balloon in the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': well, okay
:'''Mickey''': hot dog, say, do you want to help Donald fly his balloon for the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': so I can win the big blue ribbon? [The gang waits for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': super! [Mouskedoer tune plays] We're gonna need our mouseketools to help us
:'''Mickey''': come on everybody, let's go to the mouskedoer and get our mouseketools

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149096</id>
      <parentid>3149095</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T18:39:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>151.229.144.11</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Donalds big balloon race [1.04] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="15217" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as the camera pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse!

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and them the camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffing somethin, Hey uh, I wonder what it could be?
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds while Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If you see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;
[Pluto sniffs for the sheep I front of the red sofa] [a sheep pops up from behind saying...]
:'''Sheep''': baa!
[Pluto jumps in fright and then spotted the sheep]
:'''pluto''': bark bark
:'''Mickey''': huh, y-you seen a sheep? [Mickey looks at the sofa] wh-where? [Mickeys eyes blink as he waits for a response]
:'''Mickey''': behind the chair? [Mickey looks at sofa again and then this time, he founds the sheep]
:'''Mickey''': there it is, you found it [Mickey walks to the sheep then stroke his wool] 
:'''Mickey''': hiya sheep
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hmm, I wonder what a sheep's doing in the clubhouse?
[As Pluto creeps behind the sheep, Mickey thinks, after Pluto creeps, the sheep...]
:'''Sheep''': BAA

=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald''': aw

===Goofys bird [1.03]===
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) we got our mousketools, alright
:'''Mickey''': now, we can take baby red bird back home to the forest
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet (goofy hold baby red bird in his hands and leave)
:'''Mickey''': but first, we need to go up to the telescope to find the forest
:'''Mickey''': everybody say. Telescope!
:'''Mickey and goofy''': TELESCOPE (a cup car appear from nowhere as Mickey and goofy jump and land straight to the cup cars seats) (it's seat belts strap Mickey and goofy as they sit)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckkes) hold on tight everybody (the cup car head straight up like a rocket, and zooms off)
(They make their way up to the telescope)
:'''Mickey''': whoa, yippie
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet
:'''Goofy''': he's eating
(The cup car heads right to the ear where the telescope is) (the clubhouse right ear opens up revealing a telescope)
:'''Mickey''': the telescope can help us see things see away
:'''Mickey''': let's see if we can find the forest (as Mickey hold the telescope out for the viewer to see, the camera zooms straight at the telescope) (in the telescopes view, a beautiful view of trees appear, the telescope turns to the right revealing a lake)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response)
:'''Mickey''': nope, that's a lake, forests are made up of trees, let's keep looking
(The telescope turns right fast revealing Minnie and daisy eating outside the Mickey parks bar)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response again)huh
:'''Mickey''': nuh uh, that's Mickey park
(The telescope turns right once again, but this time, it was the right location)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest?
:'''Mickey''': you betcha, that's a forest
:'''Mickey''': ha, good job pal (Mickey gives the viewer a thumbs up)
:'''goofy''': but mickey, how are we gonna get baby red bird, all the way to the forest?
:'''Mickey''': hmm, i got it! We can fly the glove balloon to the forest
:'''goofy''': well whaddya ya know
:'''Mickey''': glove balloon, here we come
:'''goofy''': baby red bird, we're taking you home
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet

===Donalds big balloon race [1.04]===
:'''Mickey''': you know what? I once won a big blue ribbon in the balloon race
:'''Mickey''': see? That's me
:'''Mickey''': and these are all the other winners of the balloon race
:'''Mickey''': here's Minnie [Minnie wears a blue ribbon]
:'''Mickey''': here's daisy [Daisy wears a blue ribbon]
:'''Mickey''': Goofy [goofy wears a blue ribbon while pointing at it]
:'''Mickey''': and Pluto [Pluto wears a blue ribbon while sticking out his tongue]
[Mickey walks to the end of the hall of fame]
:'''Mickey''': when they cross the finish line first
:'''Mickey''': they got a big blue ribbon too
:'''Mickey''': but there's one of us who still hasn't won clubhouse big balloon race
:'''Mickey''': let's guess who it is
:'''Mickey''': he has feathers [acting like donald] a yellow beak [initiating donald big fat beak]
:'''Mickey''': and a sailor suit (foghorn)
:'''Mickey''': uh huh, it's Donald duck, right!
:'''Donald''': that's me (fanfare)
:'''Mickey''': ho ho donald, 
:'''pluto''': bark bark [Pluto floats on a balloon, tied to his skin, he leaves the camera]
:'''Donald''': hiya Mickey
:'''Mickey''': hiya pal, say uh donald?
:'''Mickey''': you gonna fly your balloon in the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': you bet, and this time I'm gonna win!
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, that's great
:'''Mickey''': donald, do you need any help, you know, flying your balloon?
:'''Donald''': no. I can do it all by myself [Donalds rope yanks as Donald zooms off
:'''Donald''': wah? Whoa!
:'''Mickey''': donald, wait! Where you going?
:'''pluto''': bark bark bark [Pluto tries to catch up, but his balloon was stuck] [luckily a handy helper was here with a pin, he pops the balloon] [and Pluto runs to Mickey and Donald] [outside Donald was dangling on the rope]
:'''Donald''': hey, mickey, look, uh oh, what's going on?
:'''Mickey''': hold on donald!
:'''Donald''': ha ha, wow! Whoo-hoo, this is fun, grab on
[Mickey jumps off the table them grab onto Donalds leg] [as he held on he later held the balloon down safely, Pluto helps, and so did donald]
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got Donalds balloon back down to the ground
:'''Donald''': whew, that was close, thanks [Mickey ties up donalds balloon to a tree]
:'''mickey''': uh, donald, are you sure we can't help you fly your balloon in the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': well, okay
:'''Mickey''': hot dog, say, do you want to help Donald fly his balloon for the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': so I can win the big blue ribbon? [The gang waits for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': super! [Mousekedoer tune plays] We're gonna need our mouseketools to help us
:'''Mickey''': come on everybody, let's go to the mousekedoer and get our mouseketools

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>i5ejcgx0fme41zztq7ymppl72aaxxii</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149099</id>
      <parentid>3149096</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T19:10:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2A02:C7F:5768:B300:3998:4EC5:AEA5:C53D</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Donalds big balloon race [1.04] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16465" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''Mickey Mouse Clubhouse''''' is an American computer-animated children's television series.
===pilot 1.00===
(The screen opens to reveal a blue sky with the sun coming out) (words appear)
:'''Mickey''': mickey, mouse, clubhouse (the camera pans down to reveal a grassy field full of trees) (as the camera pans to the right, Mickey appears)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hi there, it's me... You know... Mickey mouse, and oh boy, are we gonna have some fun in my clubhouse today (Mickey turns his head to the left, and realised that the clubhouse is missing)
:'''Mickey''': oops, (chuckles) forget. To make the clubhouse appear, we all gonna say the secret words, Meeska, mooska, mickey, mouse.
:'''Mickey''': so I'll say, Meeska mooska, and then you say, Mickey mouse! (Chuckles) are you ready? (Mickey waits for a response) here we go! Meeska, mooska...
:'''Children''': MICKEY MOUSE
(Mickey turns his head to the left again to find the clubhouse, still gone)
:'''mickey''': hmm, let's be louder, this time, stand up and really shout it, alright... Stand up!
:'''mickey''': okay, here we go. Meeska, mooska...
:'''children''': MICKEY MOUSE!
:'''Mickey''': open up, the mouse clubhouse! (Magic sparkles appear from mickeys hands as the sparkles swirls around, making the clubhouse appear) (the pants appear, the head appear, the ears appear, and the glove balloon appear) (the magic sparkles disappear after that)
:'''Mickey''': good job, well, (chuckles) what are you waiting for? Let's go inside (Mickey goes inside the clubhouse, and the door shuts behind him, Mickey flips on the switch, but no light bulb turned on, later, a helping hand helps out)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) thanks helping hand, (Mickey gives the hand a high five, then the hand leaves)
:'''Mickey''': well everybody, this is our clubhouse!

== Season 1 ==
=== Daisy-Bo-Peep [1.01] ===
:''[first lines; Toodles displays the title and Mickey Mouse narrates it; a sheep runs to the center, baa-ing at the audience; Toodles zooms away to the left and them the camera pans down to Mickey]''
:'''Mickey''': Welcome to our clubhouse! Are ya ready to play? [pauses, waiting for a response from the viewer] Hot dog!
:''[Pluto comes by, sniffing the floor and then mickey puts his foot up
:'''Mickey''': Speaking of dogs... look! it's Pluto, and he's sniffing somethin, Hey uh, I wonder what it could be?
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': Whoa! Did you hear that? Hmm, what animal makes that sound? ''[pauses for a couple of seconds while Pluto continues sniffing]'' A sheep! Right! If you see a sheep anywhere, say &quot;Sheep!&quot;
[Pluto sniffs for the sheep I front of the red sofa] [a sheep pops up from behind saying...]
:'''Sheep''': baa!
[Pluto jumps in fright and then spotted the sheep]
:'''pluto''': bark bark
:'''Mickey''': huh, y-you seen a sheep? [Mickey looks at the sofa] wh-where? [Mickeys eyes blink as he waits for a response]
:'''Mickey''': behind the chair? [Mickey looks at sofa again and then this time, he founds the sheep]
:'''Mickey''': there it is, you found it [Mickey walks to the sheep then stroke his wool] 
:'''Mickey''': hiya sheep
:'''Sheep''': baa
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) hmm, I wonder what a sheep's doing in the clubhouse?
[As Pluto creeps behind the sheep, Mickey thinks, after Pluto creeps, the sheep...]
:'''Sheep''': BAA

=== A surprise for Minnie [1.02] ===
(In the fountain, minnie and daisy and Pluto sit, waiting for Mickey and donald)
:'''Daisy''': hmm, I wonder where Mickey and Donald could be, (looks at sky) it's getting kinda late
(Minnie chuckles)
:'''Minnie''': don't sorry daisy, they'll be here. Mickey never forgets valentines day
:'''Mickey''': minnie!
:'''Minnie''': mickey!
:'''Donald''': daisy!
:'''Both''': HAPPY VALENTINES DAY (Mickey chuckles)
:'''Donald''': aw

===Goofys bird [1.03]===
:'''Mickey''': (chuckles) we got our mousketools, alright
:'''Mickey''': now, we can take baby red bird back home to the forest
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet (goofy hold baby red bird in his hands and leave)
:'''Mickey''': but first, we need to go up to the telescope to find the forest
:'''Mickey''': everybody say. Telescope!
:'''Mickey and goofy''': TELESCOPE (a cup car appear from nowhere as Mickey and goofy jump and land straight to the cup cars seats) (it's seat belts strap Mickey and goofy as they sit)
:'''Mickey''': (chuckkes) hold on tight everybody (the cup car head straight up like a rocket, and zooms off)
(They make their way up to the telescope)
:'''Mickey''': whoa, yippie
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet
:'''Goofy''': he's eating
(The cup car heads right to the ear where the telescope is) (the clubhouse right ear opens up revealing a telescope)
:'''Mickey''': the telescope can help us see things see away
:'''Mickey''': let's see if we can find the forest (as Mickey hold the telescope out for the viewer to see, the camera zooms straight at the telescope) (in the telescopes view, a beautiful view of trees appear, the telescope turns to the right revealing a lake)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response)
:'''Mickey''': nope, that's a lake, forests are made up of trees, let's keep looking
(The telescope turns right fast revealing Minnie and daisy eating outside the Mickey parks bar)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest? (Waits for response again)huh
:'''Mickey''': nuh uh, that's Mickey park
(The telescope turns right once again, but this time, it was the right location)
:'''Mickey''': is that a forest?
:'''Mickey''': you betcha, that's a forest
:'''Mickey''': ha, good job pal (Mickey gives the viewer a thumbs up)
:'''goofy''': but mickey, how are we gonna get baby red bird, all the way to the forest?
:'''Mickey''': hmm, i got it! We can fly the glove balloon to the forest
:'''goofy''': well whaddya ya know
:'''Mickey''': glove balloon, here we come
:'''goofy''': baby red bird, we're taking you home
:'''baby red bird''': tweet tweet tweet

===Donalds big balloon race [1.04]===
:'''Mickey''': you know what? I once won a big blue ribbon in the balloon race
:'''Mickey''': see? That's me
:'''Mickey''': and these are all the other winners of the balloon race
:'''Mickey''': here's Minnie [Minnie wears a blue ribbon]
:'''Mickey''': here's daisy [Daisy wears a blue ribbon]
:'''Mickey''': Goofy [goofy wears a blue ribbon while pointing at it]
:'''Mickey''': and Pluto [Pluto wears a blue ribbon while sticking out his tongue]
[Mickey walks to the end of the hall of fame]
:'''Mickey''': when they cross the finish line first
:'''Mickey''': they got a big blue ribbon too
:'''Mickey''': but there's one of us who still hasn't won clubhouse big balloon race
:'''Mickey''': let's guess who it is
:'''Mickey''': he has feathers [acting like donald] a yellow beak [initiating donald big fat beak]
:'''Mickey''': and a sailor suit (foghorn)
:'''Mickey''': uh huh, it's Donald duck, right!
:'''Donald''': that's me (fanfare)
:'''Mickey''': ho ho donald, 
:'''pluto''': bark bark [Pluto floats on a balloon, tied to his skin, he leaves the camera]
:'''Donald''': hiya Mickey
:'''Mickey''': hiya pal, say uh donald?
:'''Mickey''': you gonna fly your balloon in the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': you bet, and this time I'm gonna win!
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, that's great
:'''Mickey''': donald, do you need any help, you know, flying your balloon?
:'''Donald''': no. I can do it all by myself [Donalds rope yanks as Donald zooms off
:'''Donald''': wah? Whoa!
:'''Mickey''': donald, wait! Where you going?
:'''pluto''': bark bark bark [Pluto tries to catch up, but his balloon was stuck] [luckily a handy helper was here with a pin, he pops the balloon] [and Pluto runs to Mickey and Donald] [outside Donald was dangling on the rope]
:'''Donald''': hey, mickey, look, uh oh, what's going on?
:'''Mickey''': hold on donald!
:'''Donald''': ha ha, wow! Whoo-hoo, this is fun, grab on
[Mickey jumps off the table them grab onto Donalds leg] [as he held on he later held the balloon down safely, Pluto helps, and so did donald]
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got Donalds balloon back down to the ground
:'''Donald''': whew, that was close, thanks [Mickey ties up donalds balloon to a tree]
:'''mickey''': uh, donald, are you sure we can't help you fly your balloon in the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': well, okay
:'''Mickey''': hot dog, say, do you want to help Donald fly his balloon for the big balloon race?
:'''Donald''': so I can win the big blue ribbon? [The gang waits for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': super! [Mousekedoer tune plays] We're gonna need our mouseketools to help us
:'''Mickey''': come on everybody, let's go to the mousekedoer and get our mouseketools

===Mickey goes fishing [1.05]===
:'''Mickey''': welcome to our clubhouse
:'''pluto''': bark [Pluto runs in the camera, turns around, and pose right next to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': hey, (chuckles) it's my pal pluto, say hiya pluto!
:'''pluto''': bark, bark
:'''Mickey''': ha ha [goofy zooms with a packet full of gooey fish, he nearly lose his balance, then he freezes]
:'''Goofy''': whoa, oh uh, hiya Mickey
:'''Mickey''': hi goof, nice hat
:'''Goofy''': yeah, it's a safari hat, cause I'm going so-fari away hyuck
:'''Mickey''': ha ha
:'''Goofy''': hey, would you mind taking care of my little kitten while I'm gone?
:'''Mickey''': aw sure, no problem
:'''Goofy''': great! Here ya go [a kitten named mr Pettibone pop outs from goofys safari hat them jumps onto Mickeys hands
:'''goofy''': his name is mr pettibone [he purrs on mickeys face, then jumps out to see pluto]
:'''mr pettibone''': meow
:'''pluto''': bark bark bark
:'''mickey''': ha ha
:'''Goofy''': thanks, your a real pal, have fun little buddy [mr pettibone purrs as goofy strokes him]
:'''Goofy''': see ya [goofy start leaves the camera but he stops]
:'''Goofy''': gosh, I almost forgot, Mr pettibone only eats big red Gooey fish
:'''Goofy''': see ya later [goofy leaves the camera]

== Specials ==
=== ''Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt'' ===
:''[first lines; as usual, Mickey Mouse walks towards the camera and says his usual lines, until the camera pans to the left revealing the clubhouse gone]''
:'''Mickey''': Oops! ''[chuckles]'' Gee, I forget this every time. Now to make the clubhouse appear, we need to say the magic words, exactly right. 'Cause if we don't, well, something funny might happen. The magic words are: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse! Say it with me. Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse!
:''[the clubhouse appears; the intro then proceeds as normal, but with more sound effects this time]''


:'''Pete''': ''[singing] Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse, Pete's clubhouse! [later, a few scenes, after the Clubhouse floats away] This can't be right. Now, uh, hubbsie, pubbsie, shobby-doo-doo! Uh, handsy-glovey! Please come down! [The glove balloon flys away] Oopsie, I said the wrong magic words, didn't I? Drat, I'm in big trouble, now! [sees Mickey humming] Oh, ding-dong it, it's Mickey! I better get out of here before he sees me! [Pete leaves before grabing his mickey mouse disguised hat]
:'''Mickey''': strange that clarabelle wasn't in the bakery [pluto looks to the front of the camera]
[Mickey became shocked to find  that the clubhouse, the shoe garage, the glove balloon, &amp; plutos doghouse gone]
:'''Mickey''': huh, what happened to the clubhouse? [Mickey cups his ear waiting for a response from the viewer]
:'''Mickey''': the clubhouse flow away, who made that happened? [Mickey looks at the viewer watching]
:'''mickey''': pete did? He said the wrong magic words, uh oh. We gotta go get the clubhouse back, &amp; rescue, minnie, goofy, daisy, &amp; donald, or we won't be able to have our easter party.
:'''Pluto''': woof
:'''Mickey''': will you help us find all the pieces of the clubhouse and get our friends back? [Mickey cup his ear again waiting for a response]
:'''Mickey''': hot dog. [Pluto starts sniffing on the ground trying to look for the clubhouse]
:'''Mickey''': hey look, plutos already on the trail, atta boy pluto, cmon lets look for the clubhouse
[Mickey walks away from the camera, &amp; follows pluto while he continues sniffing]
[After a few steps, mickey &amp; pluto stop]
:'''Mickey''': aw pluto, how will we ever find all the pieces of the clubhouse? [Mickey and pluto look at the sky as a jetpack fly past, it's professor ludwig von drake, flying around in his jetpack] [he comes to a halt and lands down on the ground]
:'''Mickey''': Oh boy, it's professor von drake! [Von drake presses a button on his jetpack and it retracts, he takes it off]
:'''Von drake''': ho ho, hello there mickey
:'''Mickey''': professor? We need your help, the clubhouse is flowing away
:'''Von drake''': ooh your telling me, I almost rocking the way to the clubhouse pants, fortunately professor went under the pants [he whispers to the audience] I said, i need a pants, [laughs] did you hear that? [back to mickey]
:'''Mickey''': You saw the clubhouse pants?
:'''Von drake''': That's right, &amp; it landed, right over there [He points to the pants of the clubhouse near to some trees nearby] [mickey runs to the pants]
:'''Mickey''':  Oh minnie! [Minnie opens the door to see mickey on the doorstep]
:'''Minnie''': Oh, you found me
:'''Mickey''': ha ha, we rescued minnie [Von drake &amp; pluto joined in but pluto smells Pete hiding in the bushes] [he turns his head, and points to where he's sniffing]
:'''Mickey''': hey, wait a minute. THATS PETE! [Pete pops out of the bush]
:'''Pete''': goosebumps [he runs away]
:'''Von drake''': oh that Pete is running away
:'''Mickey''': aw pete must think i'm upset at him for making the clubhouse go away, b-but i'm not, gee, we could really use his help  [Mickey put his hand on his chin]
:'''Von drake''': don't worry about that mickey, [conforts mickey] now that we found the pants, we got the mousekedoer to help us
:'''Mickey''': say, that's right professor
:'''Minnie''': oh, that means we can use our mouseketools!
:'''Mickey''': hotdog ha ha, [mousekedoer tune plays] come on everybody, let's go get our mouseketools from the mousekedoer [Mickey runs into the clubhouse]
(After that)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we got our mouseketools, now let's go and find the other pieces of the clubhouse
:'''Minnie''': and rescue donald, daisy, and glory (Pluto barks as in: let's go) (the gang starts to leave but the professor stops them)
:'''von drake''': oh hold on mickey, we've gotta get this pants piece back where it belongs
:'''Mickey''': oops, you're right
:'''Minnie''': hmm, how are we gonna do that professor
(Von drake explains with a smirk)
:'''Von drake''': every time you find a piece of the clubhouse, you've had to touch it, like so (Von drake touches the wall)
:'''Von drake''': them your gonna say the right magic words
:'''Mickey ''': well we know those. Meeska. Mooska. Mickey mouse
(Professor nods)
:'''Von drake''': that's right, and after you say the magic words, hoo, the piece will fly back home with you
:'''Mickey mouse ''': let's send the pants back home, everybody say the right magic words.
:'''everyone''': meeska, mooska, MICKEY MOUSE!
(they touch bits of the clubhouse and they all sparkle as Mickey, minnie, and von drake touch) (the pants prepares to fly and...
:'''Von drake ''': whoopdeedoo, here we go! (And the pants flies off to the great beyond) (After a while it lands in the middle of the clubhouse where the glove balloon and shoe garage should be) (the sparkles disappear and the gang head out)
:'''Mickey''': oh boy, we did it
:'''Von drake''': well ain't that something, the pants are back!
:'''Mickey ''': they sure are (to viewer) thanks everybody!

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
*[http://disneyjunior.disney.com/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ Disney Junior]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0784896/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/shows/mickey-mouse-clubhouse/ TV.com]

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Disney Junior shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Television series by Disney Television Animation]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Descendants (2015 film)</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T12:33:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
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      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
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'''''[[w:Descendants (2015 film)|Descendants]]''''' is a [[w:2015 in film|2015]] musical fantasy film about the teenage children of villains from fairy tales as they adjust to life outside their island prison, while on a mission to steal the Fairy Godmother's wand and free their parents from captivity.
:''Directed by [[w:Kenny Ortega|Kenny Ortega]]. Written by [[w:Josann McGibbon|Josann McGibbon]] and Sara Parriott.''
{{center|'''They're not bad. They're just born that way.'''}}

== Mal ==
* Once upon a time, long, long ago... well, more like 20 years ago... Belle married Beast in front of 6,000 of their closest personal friends. Big cake! Yeah, so instead of a honeymoon, Beast united all of the kingdoms and got himself elected king of the United States of Auradon. He rounded up all the villains and sidekicks... basically all the really interesting people... and he booted them off to the Isle of the Lost with a magical barrier to keep them there. This is my hood. No magic. No wi-fi. No way out. Or so I thought. Hang on, you're about to meet us. But first this happened.
* This is our one chance to prove ourselves to our parents! To prove that we are evil and vicious and ruthless and cruel. 
* ''[After Jay sets off the alarm at the museum.]'' Way to go, Jay! Now we have to go to school tomorrow!
* Nasty. I like that guy.
* Love is not weak or ridiculous. It's actually really amazing.
* The strength of evil is good as none, when stands before four hearts as one!
* ''(Singing)'' Break the spell, we were born this way. Be yourself, forget the DNA.

== Ben ==
* I've chosen my first official proclamation... I've decided that the children on the Isle of the Lost be given a chance to live here in Auradon. Every time I look out to the island, I feel like they've been abandoned. 
* I feel... I feel like... like singing your name. Mal, Mal. 
* Your mother is mistress of evil and I've got the poster parents for goodness. But we're not automatically like them. We get to choose who we're gonna be. 
* I can look into your eyes, and I can tell you're not evil.

== Carlos ==
* ''(Singing)'' The past is past. Forgive, forget. The truth is you ain’t seen nothing yet! 
* I read that they allow dogs in Auradon... Mom said they're rabid pack animals who eat boys who don't behave.
* ''(Singing)'' They think I'm callous, a lowlife hood. I feel so useless. Misunderstood!
* Can I go back to my game? I'm on level three.
* I will never forget Mother's Day again.

= Evie =
* Mirror, mirror on the... in my hand... where is fairy godmother's wand... stand? 
* Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who's the biggest jerk in the land?
* My mother taught me how to apply blush before I could talk.
* ''(Discussing the different types of tears.)'' They both have antibodies and enzymes, but an emotional tear has more protein-based hormones than a reflex tear.
* Is my mascara smudged?

= Jay =
* I don't do uniforms. Unless it's leather, you feel me?
* You do not want to be at my house at dinner time.
* ''(Describes stealing.)'' It's like buying whatever I want, except it's free. 
* We can do this... if we stick together. 
* Well, let's get this party started!

= Fairy Godmother =
* Leave it like you found it.
* Welcome to Auradon prep. I'm Fairy Godmother, headmistress. 
* ''(To Jane.)'' I love you. But you are on a major time-out.
* As I always say; &quot;don't focus on the past or you'll miss the future.&quot;
* ''(To Mal about Maleficent.)'' You learned to love. So can she. 
* Bibbidi-bobbidi. You know it. 
* Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!

== Maleficent ==
* ''(To Mal)'' The future of the free world rests on your shoulders. Don't blow it.
* And now you will be making your own memories... by doing exactly as I tell you.
* People used to cower at the mention of our names! For 20 years I have searched for a way off this island. For 20 years they have robbed us from our revenge!
* Enough! You all will regret this!

== Evil Queen ==
* ''(Mocking)'' I'm Snow White, the fairest of them all. Please, she's definitely had work done.
* Evie! My little evilette in training.
* Urgh! Smells like common folk. 
* Bring home a prince!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Beast''': 16? That's far too young to be crowned king. I didn't make a good decision until I was at least 42.
:'''Belle''': Uh, you decided to marry me at 28.
:'''Beast''': Well, it was either you or a teapot. ''[He winks at Ben, who laughs, but Belle scoffs]'' Kidding.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maleficent''': You will go. You will find fairy godmother and you will bring me back her magic wand. Easy peasy.  
:'''Mal''': What's in it for us?  
:'''Maleficent''': Matching thrones. Hers-and-hers crowns.  
:'''Calos''': Um, I think she meant us. ''(Points at himself, Mal, Evie and Jay.)'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As the villain kids arrive in Auradon, a huge welcome wagon has been laid out for them. The limo pulls up, and Jay and Carlos roll out, fighting over a comforter.]''
:'''Carlos''': Ow! You got everything else! Why do you want whatever this is?!
:'''Jay''': Coz you want it!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mal and Audrey smile, but eye each other disdainfully.]''
:'''Audrey''': I totally do not blame you for your mother trying to kill my parents and stuff. Oh, my mom's Aurora. Sleeping... 
:'''Mal''': Beauty. Yeah, I've heard the name, you know, and I totally do not blame your grandparents for inviting everyone in the whole world... but my mother to their stupid christening.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[When the VKs break into the Museum of Cultural History to steal the Fairy Godmother's wand.]''
:'''Jay''': ''(smirking)'' That's your mother's spinning wheel?  
:'''Carlos''':  Yeah, it's kinda dorky.  
:'''Mal''': It's magic. It doesn't have to look scary.  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In Remedial Goodness 101.]''
:'''Fairy Godmother''': If someone gives you a crying baby, do you a: curse it, b: lock it in a tower, c: give it a bottle, or d: carve out its heart?
:''(Evie raises her hand.)''
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Yes, Evie.
:'''Evie''': What was the second one again?
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''(Smiles, tries not to look disappointed.)'' Oh, ok. Anybody else?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Mal gives Lonnie beautiful hair.]''
:'''Lonnie''': It's just... ''(rips the bottom her dress.)'' Now I'm cool!  
:'''Mal''': Like ice.  
:'''Jane''': ''(Rips the bottom her dress too before looking shocked.)'' What did I just do?! My mom's gonna kill me!  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mal''': Coz we're rotten...
:'''All VKs''': To the core.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While Mal is making cookies containing a love spell.]''
:'''Lonnie''': It could use some chips.  
:'''Jay''': Chips?  
:'''Mal''': And those are? 
:'''Lonnie''': Chocolate chips. Just the most important food group. Wait, didn't your moms ever make you guys chocolate chip cookies? Like, when you were feeling sad, and they're fresh from the oven, with a big old glass of milk, and she just makes you laugh and puts everything into perspective and... why are you all looking at me like that?  
:''(The VKs look both thoughtful and downcast.)''
:'''Mal''': It's just different where we're from.  
:'''Lonnie''': Yeah, I know. I just, you know, I thought... even villains love their kids. 
:''(Again the VK's expressions remain disheartened.)''
:'''Lonnie''': Oh... how awful.  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jay''': Are you feeling kinda weird about this? I mean... it's not so bad here, you know.  
:'''Mal''': Are you insane?! Long live evil! You're mean! You're awful! You're bad news! Snap out of it!  
:'''Jay''': Thanks, Mal. I needed that. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mal thinks Ben is drowning and dives in to save him, only to nearly drown herself and Ben to save her.]''
:'''Mal''': Ben! Ugh! You scared me! 
:'''Ben''': You can't swim?  
:'''Mal''': No!  
:'''Ben''': You live on an island!  
:'''Mal''': Yeah, with a barrier around it, remember? Ugh!  
:'''Ben''': ''(touched)'' And you still tried to save me?
:'''Mal''': Yeah! And do you thank me?! No! All I get is soaking wet!  

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mal''': I don't know what love feels like.
:'''Ben''': Maybe I can teach you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evie''': M, what d'you think are parents are gonna do if we don't pull this off?
:'''Mal''': I think they'll be... quietly disappointed in us, but ultimately... proud of us for doing our best.
:'''Carlos''': Really?
:'''Mal''': No, I think we are definitely goners.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Queen Leah''': Hello.  
:'''Mal''': Hi.  
:'''Queen Leah''': Have we met?  
:'''Mal:''' No, I don't think so. I'm new. I'm sorta like a Transfer student.  
:'''Queen Leah''': Ah. 
:'''Audrey''': Grammy!
:'''Queen Leah''': Oh, Audrey! Give Grammy a kiss, dear.  
:'''Mal:''' &quot;Grammy&quot;?  
:'''Audrey''': Sleeping Beauty's mother. ''(Mal nods nervously.)'' Grammy, I don't think you want to be talking to this girl. Unless you feel like taking another hundred-year nap.  
:'''Queen Leah''': What? ''(Mal looks at her awkwardly.)'' You?! How are you here? And how have you stayed so young?  
:'''Ben''': Queen Leah, it's ok. Maleficent is still on the island. This is her daughter, Mal. Don't you remember my proclamation to give the new generation a chance?  
:'''Queen Leah''': A chance to what, Ben? Destroy us? You remember? The poison apples? And the spells? Spells... ''(To Mal.)'' My daughter was raised by fairies because of your mother's curse. ''(Mal looks at her, obviously ashamed.)'' So her first words, her first steps, I missed it all!
:''(She looks close to tears and so does Mal, who takes an apologetic step towards her.)'' 
:'''Mal:''' I'm so sor...  
:'''Chad''': Go away! Stay away from her!  
:'''Ben''': Don't do this, Chad.  
:'''Chad''': What?! They were raised by their parents, Ben. What do you think villains teach their kids, huh? Kindness? Fair play? No way! Ok? ''(To Mal.)'' You stole another girl's boyfriend! ''(To Jay.)'' You enjoy hurting people! ''(To Evie.)'' And you! You're nothing but a gold digger and a cheater.
:'''Evie''': Mirror, mirror in my hand, who's the biggest jerk in the land?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mal feels guilty about bewitching Ben, so has given him a snack filled with anti-love potion.]''
:'''Mal''': Do you feel ok?
:'''Ben''': You bet.  
:'''Mal''': Would you say that you're still in... that... that you have very strong feelings for me?  
:'''Ben''': I'm not sure. I mean, let's give the anti-love potion a few minutes to take effect.  
:'''Mal''': Yeah... ok. ''(Looks at him in shock, Ben laughs.)'' What?! You knew?!  
:'''Ben''': That you spelled me? Yeah, I knew.  
:'''Mal''': ''(Anxiously)'' I can explain myself! 
:'''Ben''': No, look, it's fine. I mean, you had a crush on me. I was with Audrey. You didn't trust that it could happen on its own. Am I right?  
:'''Mal''': ''(Hastily)'' Yes! You're so right. So, then, how long have you known?  
:'''Ben''': Since our first date. Your spell washed away in the Enchanted Lake.  
:'''Mal''': So what, you've just been... faking it since then?  
:''(Ben kisses her hand and speaks sincerely.)''
:'''Ben''': I haven't been faking anything. ''(Mal looks both touched and surprised.)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mal has taken the wand off Jane after she tried to use magic on herself to make herself beautiful.]''
:'''Ben''': Mal, give me the wand.  
:'''Mal''': ''(Nervously)'' Stand back.  
:'''Ben''': It's ok.  
:'''Mal''': ''(Distressed)'' Ben, I said stand back!  
:'''Audrey''': I told you so!  
:'''Carlos''': ''(To Mal anxiously)'' Let's go.  
:'''Jay''': ''(Uneasily)'' Revenge time.  
:'''Ben''': You really wanna do this?  
:'''Mal''': We have no choice, Ben! Our parents...  
:'''Ben''': Your parents made their choice. Now you make yours.  
:''(For a long time Mal looks awkwardly around the room at the Aurodonians.)''
:'''Mal''': ''(Quietly)'' I think I wanna be good.  
:'''Ben''': You are good!  
:'''Mal''': How do you know that?!  
:'''Ben''': Because... because I'm listening to my heart.  
:'''Mal''': I wanna listen to my heart, too. And it is telling me that we are not our parents. ''(To Jay.)'' I mean, stealing things doesn't make you happy. Tourney and victory pizza with the team makes you happy. ''(To Carlos.)'' And you, scratching dude's belly makes you happy. Who would've thought? And Evie... you do not have to play dumb to get a guy. You are so smart. And I don't want to take over the world with evil. It doesn't make me happy. I want to go to school... and be with Ben. ''(Tearfully.)'' Because Ben makes me really happy. Us being friends makes me really happy. Not destroying things. I choose good, you guys.
:''(She holds out her fist to begin a group fist-bump. There is pause before another fist joins Mal's revealing to be Jay's.)''
:'''Jay''': I choose good too.
:'''Evie''': ''(Joins in.)'' I choose good.
:'''Carlos''': Wait, just to be clear... we don't have to worry about how really mad are parents are gonna be? ''(Laughs.)'' Coz they're gonna be really, really mad!
:'''Ben''': Your parents can't reach you here.
:'''Carlos''': Ok, then. Good. ''(Puts his fist with the other VKs and is soon joined by Ben's.)''

== Cast ==
* [[w:Dove Cameron|Dove Cameron]] - Mal, the daughter of [[w:Maleficent|Maleficent]]
* [[w:Cameron Boyce|Cameron Boyce]] - Carlos, the son of [[w:Cruella de Vil|Cruella de Vil]]
* [[w:Booboo Stewart|Booboo Stewart]] - Jay, the son of [[w:Jafar (Disney)|Jafar]]
* [[w:Sofia Carson|Sofia Carson]] - Evie, the daughter of [[w:Evil Queen (Disney)|the Evil Queen]] and Snow White's stepsister
* Mitchell Hope - Prince Ben, the son of [[w:Belle (Disney)|Queen Belle]] and [[w:Beast (Disney)|King Beast]]
* [[w:Melanie Paxson|Melanie Paxson]] - [[w:List of Disney's Cinderella characters#The Fairy Godmother|the Fairy Godmother]]
* Brenna D'Amico - Jane, the daughter of the Fairy Godmother
* [[w:Sarah Jeffery|Sarah Jeffery]] - Princess Audrey, the daughter of [[w:Aurora (Disney character)|Princess Aurora]] and [[w:Prince Phillip (Disney)|Prince Phillip]]
* Zachary Gibson - Doug, the son of Dopey from ''[[Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937 film)|Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]''
* Jedidiah Goodacre - Prince Chad Charming, the son of [[w:Cinderella (Disney character)|Cinderella]] and [[w:List of Disney's Cinderella characters#Prince Charming|Prince Charming]]
* Dianne Doan - Lonnie, the daughter of [[w:Mulan (Disney character)|Fa Mulan]] and [[w:List of Mulan characters#Li Shang|Li Shang]]
* [[w:Dan Payne|Dan Payne]] - King Beast
* [[w:Keegan Connor Tracy|Keegan Connor Tracy]] - Queen Belle
* [[w:Wendy Raquel Robinson|Wendy Raquel Robinson]] - Cruella de Vil
* [[w:Maz Jobrani|Maz Jobrani]] - Jafar
* [[Kathy Najimy]] - the Evil Queen
* [[w:Kristin Chenoweth|Kristin Chenoweth]] - Maleficent

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{Official website|http://movies.disney.com/descendants}}
* {{IMDb title|3440298}}

[[Category:2015 films]]
[[Category:Comedy-drama television films]]
[[Category:Fantasy television films]]
[[Category:Musical television films]]
[[Category:Teen comedy films]]
[[Category:Disney Channel films]]
[[Category:Musical films]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Nichelle Nichols</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:07:05Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="2086" xml:space="preserve">[[File:2009 CUN Award Party Nichelle Nichols 124.JPG|thumb|Nichelle Nichols in 2009.]]
[[File:Nichelle Nichols, NASA Recruiter - GPN-2004-00017.jpg|thumb|Nichelle Nichols in 1977 as Uhura from the television program ''[[Star Trek: The Original Series|Star Trek]]''.]]
'''[[w:Nichelle Nichols|Nichelle Nichols]]''' (born December 28, 1932) is an American actress, singer and voice artist.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* ''[[Star Trek: The Original Series|Star Trek]]'' represented, and still does represent, the future we can have, a future that is beyond the petty squabbles we are dealing with here on Earth, now as much as ever, and are able to devote ourselves to the betterment of all human kind by doing what we  do so well: explore. This kind of a future isn't impossible - and we need to all rethink our priorities to really bring that vision to life.
** [http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/geek/Uhura-Star-Trek-Nichelle-Nichols-Wizard-World-Philly.html Uhura Fest: 'Star Trek' legend Nichelle Nichols talks Wizard World Philly and transcending race] (May 29, 2017)

* [[w:Gene Roddenberry|Gene's]] whole vision was that minorities weren't on set because we were minorities, we were on set because in the future our diverse world would all be working together as equals. I understand that everyone needs to see role models that can inspire them and talk to them and represent them, but I believe we need to move to a future that transcends race, gender, or anything else. We're all people.
** [http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/geek/Uhura-Star-Trek-Nichelle-Nichols-Wizard-World-Philly.html Uhura Fest: 'Star Trek' legend Nichelle Nichols talks Wizard World Philly and transcending race] (May 29, 2017)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.uhura.com Official Site]

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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>South Park/Season 20</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>198423</id>
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      <id>3149048</id>
      <parentid>3146284</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T15:59:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The End of Serialization as We Know It [20.10] */</comment>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[South Park/Season 1|1]] [[South Park/Season 2|2]] [[South Park/Season 3|3]] [[South Park/Season 4|4]] [[South Park/Season 5|5]] [[South Park/Season 6|6]] [[South Park/Season 7|7]] [[South Park/Season 8|8]] [[South Park/Season 9|9]] [[South Park/Season 10|10]] [[South Park/Season 11|11]] [[South Park/Season 12|12]] [[South Park/Season 13|13]] [[South Park/Season 14|14]] [[South Park/Season 15|15]] [[South Park/Season 16|16]] [[South Park/Season 17|17]] [[South Park/Season 18|18]] [[South Park/Season 19|19]] '''20''' [[South Park/Season 21|21]] [[South Park/Season 22|22]] [[South Park/Season 23|23]] [[South Park/Season 24|24]] [[South Park/Season 25|25]] | [[South Park|Main]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997-present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

===''[[w:Member Berries|Member Berries]]'' [20.01]===

===''[[w:Skank Hunt|Skank Hunt]]'' [20.02]===

===''[[w:The Damned (South Park)|The Damned]]'' [20.03]===

===''[[w:Wieners Out|Wieners Out]]'' [20.04]===

===''[[w:Douche and a Danish|Douche and a Danish]]'' [20.05]===

===''[[w:Fort Collins (South Park)|Fort Collins]]'' [20.06]===
:'''Kyle''': So somebody, like Heidi, could use it to see your entire Internet history. Everything you ever said and did on the Internet, even before you were together.
:'''Cartman''': [a look of fear crosses his face] Well, Heidi doesn't actually use the Internet. We've sworn off that stuff, so it's kewl.
:'''Kyle''': Right, but somebody, like me, could look up your entire Internet history, print it out, and give it to Heidi. I would imagine there's some things you've done or said on the Internet you wouldn't want Heidi to know about.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dick''': If someone Photoshopped a dick in your wife's mouth, would you just think it was funny?
:'''Gerald''': You mean my ''[shows his phone to Dick with image of Sheila Photoshopped]'' fracking screensaver.
:'''Dick''': It's true. You're just an asshole. I thought you were the ultimate rebel. I actually looked up to you and you're nothing but a super... dick.
:'''Gerald''': And what are ''[points at Dick]'' you, Dildo Shwaggins? Huh? You think you're a fracking political activist hauled up in your shifty little midget condo. You're nothing but a passed off little giant, lashing out at everyone because you can't get laid!

===''[[w:Oh, Jeez|Oh, Jeez]]'' [20.07]===
:'''Tom''': A historic election, and all the votes are in. Except of course in the city of Fort Collins, Colorado. It's been several days now since Fort Collins was hacked. Everyone's e-mails and Internet history became accessible to the public after being targeted by the Danish Trolltrace program. According to our eye in the sky, their votes will not be tallied anytime soon.
:'''Eye in the sky''': It's complete bedlam inside the city limits, Chris. [traffic accidents at every intersection, a broken fire hydrant spewing a geyser of water, three giraffes running through the streets...] Since the city was hacked there have been murder, suicide, and complete lack of civility. We also understand that nearly everyone within Fort Collins who was married is now divorced. Back to you, Tom.
:'''Tom''': This barricade behind me was put up not only to make sure nobody goes into Fort Collins, but also to make sure nobody gets out, since there's no telling whose Internet histories they've seen
:'''Dangling Man''': ''[at the top of the barricade]'' Please! ''[Tom glances at him and the camera zooms in]'' My wife is so pissed at me! ''[a bullet strikes him from the air and he falls to his death several stories down.]'' Guh!

===''[[w:Members Only (South Park)|Members Only]]'' [20.08]===
:'''Sheila''': ''[outraged in shock to Ike]'' It was you all this time! What have you done, Ike?! Do you have any idea the damage you've caused?! How can my child be such a monster?!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kyle''': ''[enters home and finds Ike sitting in the corner]'' Ike? What are you doing?
:'''Sheila''': Don't talk to him! He is in big trouble!
:'''Kyle''': What'd he do?
:'''Sheila''': It's him, Kyle! Your brother is the Internet troll who's caused all this pain in our community!
:'''Kyle''': What?!
:'''Sheila''': It was him all along! Now we have to figure out what to tell people when they learn that this ugliness came from ''our'' family!

===''[[w:Not Funny|Not Funny]]'' [20.09]===
:''[Broflovski Residence; Kyle's room]''
:'''Sheila''': ''[enraged]'' WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! HOW DARE YOU OUTRIGHT DEFY ME LIKE THAT?! Your brother was being punished for using the computer and you just decide to leave with him?!
:'''Kyle''': I just felt bad for him, Ma.
:'''Sheila''': You felt ''BAD'' for him? After all the horrible things he said to people online?! Your brother is a sick troll, Kyle! You just wait till your father gets home!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kyle''': &quot;Officials have stated that all communication with Denmark has ended and that a military strike on the country is now imminent.&quot;
:'''Ike''': Yay!
:'''Kyle''': &quot;The President stated that since the-&quot;
:'''Sheila''': ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?! ''[Kyle and Ike scream and fall away from the computer]'' GET OFF THAT COMPUTER!!!
:'''Kyle''': Mom, we were just using it to look at the news.
:'''Sheila''': I DON'T CARE! I said, no computers! You kids are addicted to the Internet! You're sick, and you're addicted! It's changed your brother, and now it's turning you against me, Kyle!
:'''Kyle''': I'm not against you, Mom.
:'''Sheila''': You are! Your father goes away on business and all you do is defy me at every turn! The next time you defy me, it will be your last! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!
:'''Kyle and Ike''': Yes, mom.
:'''Sheila''': And when your father gets home from Denmark, you two are both going in for counseling.
:'''Kyle and Ike''': Denmark?
:'''Kyle''': What is Dad doing in Denmark?!
:'''Sheila''': The government sent him over there to do paralegal training. So it would have been nice if you could have shown a little support!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ike''': Mommy?
:'''Sheila''': Yes?
:'''Ike''': Suck my balls. You're a fat bitch. ''[runs off]''
:'''Sheila''': '''''WHAAAT?!''''' ''[gets out of her bed and chases after him downstairs to the kitchen]'' You get back here, you little monster! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU! Don't you run away from me Ike! Who do you think you are!? ''[to Kyle]'' Where is he?! Where is your brother?!
:'''Kyle''': He's in the pantry.
:'''Sheila''': Don't you try and hide from me now! ''[goes in the pantry]'' You are in big trouble, Ike! ''[Kyle shuts the door behind her and props a chair up under the door knob]'' Whaaat?! What whaat?! Kyle! You open his door right now!! Open this door!!!

===''[[w:The End of Serialization as We Know It|The End of Serialization as We Know It]]'' [20.10]===
:'''Sheila''': ''[still locked in the pantry, angrily banging from behind]'' YOU BOYS BETTER NOT BE ON THAT COMPUTER! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS! YOU LOCKED YOUR MOTHER IN THE PANTRY?! I'LL LOCK YOU IN YOUR ROOMS FOREVER!!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ike''': You are all dumb ass Frack wads. ''[as Shelia enters Ike's room.]'' Lick my asshole you Mexican Bitch.
:'''Sheila''': Ike! ''[Ike screams]'' You DARE lock me in the pantry so you can play on your computer? ''[runs for his computer, picks up the monitor and smashes it to the floor]''
:'''Ike''': Mommy!
:'''Sheila''': You're gonna pay for what you've done!
:'''Ike''': ''[screams as he runs out of his room and down the hallway into Gerald's study]'' Kyle!
:'''Sheila''': Ike!
:'''Kyle''': Shoot! ''[gets off the computer]''
:'''Ike''': Mommy got out!
:'''Sheila''': YOU! You helped make your brother this way!
:'''Kyle''': Mom, there's been a mistake. Ike isn't the  troll. We're trying to help the-
:'''Sheila''': ''[interrupting]'' SHUT UP! Not another from either of you! You're both grounded from the computer, FOREVER!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Tucker Residence, Sheila runs up to the door]''
:'''Sheila''': ''[pounds on the door and Laura answers]'' Laura, have my boys come to see Craig? They're hiding from me. ''[Laura looks at her and breaks down, crying]'' What? What, what?
:'''Laura''': ''[sobbing]'' The son of a bitch. He's such a bastard! When you marry someone and you think you know them...
:'''Sheila''': I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''Laura''': Troll Trace. ''[points to a laptop on the table]'' It's up and running. It can tell you anybody's Internet . I couldn't resist. I looked up my husband. The Web sites he's visited are just... disgusting!
:'''Sheila''': May I use this a moment?
:'''Laura''': Sure. Type in any name. It'll show you everything they've ever done online. Be careful. You might not like what you see.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sheila''': ''[viewing Ike's Internet history]'' There's nothing here. Maybe Kyle was telling the truth. Oh, Laura! I think my boys were being honest with me.
:'''Laura''': About what?
:'''Sheila''': I accused Ike of, of, I can't really say, but this thing says he's clean. I've gotta find my boys, Laura. Thank you so much.
:'''Laura''': It's not our kids we have to worry about. My husband was on three married-but-dating Web sites! He looked at porn 4,000 times in one month! Aren't you curious what your husband does? Huh? Sure he doesn't have any girlfriends?
:'''Sheila''': No. I, I have to respect Gerald's privacy.
:'''Laura''': Sure, yeah, respect. Nice of you to give him that. Come on, you really think you can resist the urge to type in his name... just for a quick little look?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kyle''': And so, life goes on. The end of civilization didn't happen. A massive electric pulse completely erased the Internet. We've been given a second chance. A mulligan. Anything we might be ashamed of, gone forever. Maybe now boys and girls can learn to respect each other again, and realize how careful our online lives have to be. Because we've all seen what happens when the Twitters, Facebooks, and trolls decide our reality. Now that we've been given this second chance, it's up to all of us to see what we do with it.

== External links==
{{Wikipedia|South Park (season 20)}}

[[Category:South Park seasons]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Ben Garrison</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>199417</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149050</id>
      <parentid>3005397</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:00:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>CommonsDelinker</username>
        <id>13873</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Removing &quot;Ben_Garrison.jpg&quot;, it has been deleted from Commons by [[commons:User:NahidSultan|NahidSultan]] because: Copyright violation, see [[:c:Commons:Licensing|]].</comment>
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      <text bytes="2576" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Ben Garrison|Benjamin Garrison]]''' (born 1957) is an American right wing [[w:Editorial cartoonist|political cartoonist]].

== Quotes ==
* I disagree with him on some of the issues. But when he came out and said he’s willing to audit the Federal Reserve, I said, &quot;He’s worth supporting,&quot; especially since he’s not afraid to be politically incorrect. That’s a huge breath of fresh air, I wish he would renounce his support for the NSA.
** [http://www.dailyinterlake.com/archive/article-c3636174-3b30-11e6-8943-1f17ebd0c321.html Lakeside Cartoonist a Player on the Political World Stage] (June 25, 2016)

* When a cartoonist attempts to be ‘fair and balanced’ and ‘understand all sides,’ they have failed. Too many avoid that altogether and instead become comedians. They take any topic and cast about and ask themselves: “What’s funny in this?” I despise that attitude. Sure, satirical humor is an important element, but not the only element.  A good cartoonist need not be funny to be effective. Many of my best cartoons are not funny.
** [http://www.lifeandnews.com/articles/the-rogue-cartoonist-ben-garrison-on-what-its-like-to-be-a-political-cartoonist-during-the-presidential-election/ The “Rogue Cartoonist” Ben Garrison on What it’s Like to be a Political Cartoonist During the Presidential Election] (September 30, 2016)

*Aside from the bumbling [[Jimmy Carter|Carter]] and [[Gerald Ford|Ford]], what we mostly got since [[John F. Kennedy|Kennedy]] were corrupt [[w: Deep State|Deep State criminals]]... Then [[Trump]] arrived and the Deep State did their best to thwart him. Trump is a populist and a nationalist. He doesn’t want open borders. He defeated Hillary, the Deep State’s choice. Trump is an anathema to the globalist Deep State and they are still trying to take him down. Therefore, they concocted a ludicrous narrative that Russia aided Trump and ‘hacked the election.’ Instead of locking up Hillary, they invented grandiose lies and reverse McCarthyism. They are out to impeach Trump. This could lead to civil war.   
** [https://grrrgraphics.com/product/drain-the-deep-state ''What is the Deep State Monster?''  ''GRRR Graphics'']  (Mar 26, 2017

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://https://grrrgraphics.com Official website]

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  <page>
    <title>Red vs. Blue: Project Freelancer Saga</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>200647</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149192</id>
      <parentid>3043494</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:29:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>82.27.235.81</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Chapter 15: The Sarcophagus */</comment>
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      <text bytes="53570" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''The Project Freelancer Saga''''' is a chapter in Rooster Teeth's Red vs. Blue saga, lasting from 2011 to 2012.

==Season 9==
===Chapter 1: Rounding Error===
*'''Church:''' Hi. My name is Leonard Church. But nobody calls me Leonard. Most people call me Church. Sometimes they call me Alpha and a few people even know me as the Director. But I haven't been called that in a really, really long time. You see, I notice when you look at me, I know I look like a super badass space warrior, but I'm really not. I'm actually a-
:'''Tucker:''' Hey, Church!
:'''Church:''' Uh... ''[Clears throat]'' Just, uh, ignore, uh... I'm actually a computer program that's been reincarnated with the memory of-
:'''Tucker:''' Church!
:'''Church:''' I'm actually a computer program-
:'''Tucker:''' HEY, CHURCH!
:'''Church:''' ...that's been reincarnated with the memory of a-
:'''Tucker:''' WHERE ARE YOU!?
:'''Church:''' OK, I'm just gonna start over! I just think I'm gonna go back to the beginning.
:'''Tucker:''' CHURCH!
:'''Church:''' Hi.
:'''Tucker:''' CHURCH!
:'''Church:''' My name is Leonard Church.
:'''Tucker:''' CHURCH!
:'''Church:''' But nobody calls me-
:'''Tucker:''' HEY CHURCH, COME ON!
:'''Church:''' ''[Groans]'' GOD DAMN IT! WHAT!? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?
:'''Tucker:''' Come on! Get up here!
:'''Church:''' Yeah, OK, hold on! For God's sake, I'm coming! SHUT UP!

*'''Church:''' Was that Donut?
:'''Tucker:''' I don't know. That's the chick who was working on the jeep.
:'''Church:''' He's not a girl, Tucker, he just wears pink armor. It's a guy.
:'''Tucker:''' It is? Are you sure?
:'''Church:''' Yes, I'm sure.
:'''Tucker:''' Uhh... then I suddenly feel pretty awkward about something I did 20 minutes ago.
:'''Caboose:''' During alone time.
:'''Church:''' What the hell is alone time?
:'''Tucker:''' Hey, it's one of the rules of the cliff, dude. What happens in alone time stays in alone time.
:'''Church:''' What do you do in alone time, Caboose?
:'''Caboose:''' Ah, I do the same stuff I do during together time. Only half.
:'''Church:''' What!?
:'''Tucker:''' Another benefit of alone time: not listening to him for a few minutes.

===Chapter 2: The Twins===
*'''Scully:''' Christ, is it cold or what!?
:'''Murphy:''' Uh huh.
:'''Scully:''' How cold do you think it is!? I-it has to be below freezing, right?
:'''Murphy:''' Well, there's ice, so yeah. Freezing.
:'''Scully:''' Patrolling in the ice. Give me a fucking break. You know who doesn't have to patrol in the middle of the night, in the ice?
:'''Murphy:''' I'm sure you'll tell me.
:'''Scully:''' Jenkins. I bet Jenkins is sleeping right now! Back in his rack, with his big fucking melonhead on a soft pillow.
:'''Murphy:''' Yeah, that's Jenkins.
:'''Scully:''' You know I had terminal 8 weeks straight!? 8 weeks, man!
:'''Murphy:''' Well, lucky you.
:'''Scully:''' And then I make one fucking comment about the CO to Jenkins.
:'''Murphy:''' Uh huh, that's great.
:'''Scully:''' And the next thing you know, I'm out on patrol. ''[Murphy is suddenly pulled up from his neck by a rope]'' Jenkins gets my terminal duty. And I get to freeze my ass off out here with... ''[Sees that Murphy has disappeared]'' Murphy? Come on, Murphy. Hey where are ya? Murph? Stop messing around, Murph. ''[Draws his pistol]'' Murph.
:'''Voice:''' Yeah, in here. Thought I heard something.
:'''Scully:''' ''[Holsters his pistol]'' Oh yeah? Whatcha hear? A ghost? ''[Chuckles to himself]''
:''[Scully looks down and sees a pool of blood on the floor. He looks up and sees Murphy hanging from above, dead]''
:'''South:''' ''[Using a voice modulator to sound like Murphy]'' Yeah, I guess you could say something like that. ''[Hits Scully in the neck and knocks him off the platform to his death]''

===Chapter 3: Number One===
*'''North:''' Well, out of the frying pan and into the fire.
:'''South:''' Huh, think I can take about 50 of them. How about you?
:'''North:''' How about you save your jokes until we get out of this?
:'''South:''' Where the hell is extraction!?
:'''Demo Man:''' Attention, assholes! Stand down, you're surrounded! Give us the data file now! You will be taken into custody! We can either do this the easy way or the hard way! There is no escape so give us the damn data file!
:''[&quot;Number One&quot;/Carolina sneaks behind the soldiers, camouflaged in the background. She then attacks the soldiers. She grabs the turret and shoots a support beam, causing the platform, and the soldiers standing on it, to fall]''
:'''North:''' Get down! ''[Grabs South and shields her with his body]'' Son of a bitch.
:'''South:''' What's going on?
:'''North:''' It's her.
:'''South:''' What? What's she doing here?
:''[Carolina kicks the turret, causing it to spin around and kill the soldiers. She then backflips down to North and South with her armor changing from black to light blue]''
:'''Carolina:''' OK, my turn.

*'''Donut:''' How about I just wound him? Then he can still talk and I get to shoot him. That's a win-win.
:'''Church:''' Not for me, I get shot!
:'''Simmons:''' OK, how about this? Donut gets to shoot you in exchange for you getting to say what you need to say.
:'''Donut:''' Five minutes of talking for one shot. Where do you want it, Blue? The shoulder or the foot?
:'''Church:''' Well, obviously I would pick the foot, but I don't want you guys to shoot me in-
:'''Donut:''' Deal. ''[Fires his pistol, fade to black]''
:'''Church:''' OW! SON OF A BITCH!
:'''Donut:''' OK. Your five minutes have started. Go.

===Chapter 4: Evacuation Plan===
*'''Donut:''' I've heard just about all I want out of this guy.
:'''Church:''' Uh, I'm leaving, but just remember, this isn't the way things are meant to be. You know it and I know it. Donut, you're a nice guy. You're not a jerk. Try expressing yourself a little bit. You know, like, start keeping a... uh... journal or a diary or something like that.
:'''Donut:''' ''[Clearing his throat]'' A what?
:'''Church:''' Never mind, never mind, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. I'm gonna limp home now. OK? ''[Staggers away]'' Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
:'''Sarge:''' The nerve of that guy. He's just trying to get in our heads.

*'''479'er:''' Things are about to get-
:'''Carolina:''' Bumpy?
:'''479'er:''' Yeah, bumpy. I was going to say &quot;crashy&quot; but that works too.

===Chapter 5: Realignment===
*'''Church:''' ''[Staggering back to Blue Base]'' Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
:'''Caboose:''' Church! You're home! Welcome back.
:'''Church:''' Yeah, yeah, thanks for helping me while the Reds just shoot me in the god damn foot!
:'''Caboose:''' Yeah, well, you told us to stay out of the cliff and I did! Yeah, I was helping.
:'''Church:''' Oh, really? Then why aren't you on the cliff right now?
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, I thought the helping part was over.
:'''Church:''' ''[Staggers off]'' Ow. Ow. Ow. Assholes... Ow.

*'''Tucker:''' Caboose, you're not allowed to use the radio!
:'''Caboose:''' Right, unless it's an emergency. And then I can use it to call Command. And also 800 numbers I see on TV. Because those are free to call.
:'''Church:''' 800 numbers?
:'''Tucker:''' Damn it, Caboose, what did you order this time?
:'''Caboose:''' Nothing.
:'''Tucker:''' Caboose...
:'''Caboose:''' I promise you'll not see anything show up here that I ordered, nothing at all. For at least six to eight weeks.
:'''Tucker:''' Damn it.
:'''Church:''' What the hell is he talking about!?
:'''Caboose:''' Well, you sound upset. You probably want some beef jerky. It'll be ready in six to eight weeks.
:'''Tucker:''' You ordered a food dehydrator, didn't you?
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, you won't be so mad when we are storing ''twice'' as much ammo as we normally can.
:'''Tucker:''' For the billionth time, Caboose, you can't dehydrate bullets!
:'''Church:''' You actually order all those stupid gadgets that you see on TV?
:'''Caboose:''' Maybe... sometimes...

===Chapter 6: Familiar Feelings===
*'''Donut:''' Wow, guys! Your robot is looking great!
:'''Sarge:''' Thanks. I didn't even know I was good with machines. You know what they say, &quot;necessity is the mother of-&quot;
:'''Donut:''' Hey Sarge, can I ask you about something?
:'''Sarge:''' Sure. Go ahead.
:'''Donut:''' Um, in private?
:'''Simmons:''' Oh, sure, um, yeah, I get it. Don't want me around? That's fine. No big deal. I mean, you don't talk about me, right? Heh heh, you're not talking about me?
:'''Donut:''' Be right back, Simmons.
:'''Simmons:''' ''[Quietly]'' Sure you will. That's just what my dad said.

*'''Caboose:''' I had a girlfriend once.
:'''Tucker:''' Nobody cares.
:'''Caboose:''' I met her on the internet.
:'''Tucker:''' Oh man, your girlfriend was a dude.
:'''Caboose:''' Her name was Emailia. She would send me letters all the time.
:'''Tucker:''' Sounds high maintenance.
:'''Caboose:''' Letters from my family, letters about stuff I ordered online, even about investment opportunities in other countries.
:'''Tucker:''' What? Dude, I don't think your girlfriend's name was Emailia, I think it was Email. I'm pretty sure you fell in love with your email.
:'''Caboose:''' She was always there for me, until I forgot our special word.
:'''Tucker:''' You mean your password?
:'''Caboose:''' ''[Sadly]'' She never forgave me.
:'''Tucker:''' Well, I guess you should have made out with her sister, Voicemailia.
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, she talked too much, and she always blinked at me.

===Chapter 7: Case File 01.045===
*'''Washington:''' It wasn't your fault, Connie.
:'''Connecticut:''' Easy for you to say. You didn't drop the ball.
:'''Washington:''' The ball got dropped. We were all there, it's everyone's responsibility.
:'''Connecticut:''' Damn it, why are you doing that?
:'''Washington:''' What am I doing?
:'''Connecticut:''' Making excuses for me. I'm not making excuses for myself. Why are you?
:'''Washington:''' I'm trying to make you feel better.
:'''Connecticut:''' Yeah? Great. Hey, why don't you go make Carolina feel better? Go pat Maine on the head. See how that works out for you.
:'''Washington:''' We all make mistakes.
:'''Connecticut:''' NO! We don't! ''[Faces Washington]'' That's the point! We don't all make mistakes! Some of us very specifically make mistakes and others don't seem to make ''any'' mistakes at all!
:'''Washington:''' Connie, come on.
:'''Connecticut:''' That's why they're doing all this! These missions, the rankings! They're drawing a line between us, Wash! And you're either on one side of that line or you're on the other! ''[Sadly]'' It's getting pretty god damn clear which side I'm on.
:'''Washington:''' No one thinks like that. We're a team.
:'''Connecticut:''' I'm not talking about you guys. I mean them. ''Him''.
:'''Washington:''' The Director? He's given us everything. He's helping us.
:'''Connecticut:''' Helping us? Wake up. Wake the fuck up! He's filtering us! This is a selection process, Wash! I don't know for what but... if you're not on the top of that board, you're not worth anything to him!
:'''Washington:''' You're just overreacting. You've always been hard on yourself, Connie.
:'''Connecticut:''' Not as hard as they are. ''[Hands Washington her helmet]'' Not nearly as hard as they're going to be. And don't call me &quot;Connie&quot;. It makes me sound like a fucking kid. Call me C.T.. ''[Walks off]'' Oh, and that line I talked about? You'd better hurry up and figure out what side you're on, Agent Washington. Before they figure it out for you.

*'''Church:''' Getting bored here.
:'''Tucker:''' OK, then let's do some roleplaying. I'll give you critiques on your approach.
:'''Church:''' Roleplaying?
:'''Tucker:''' Yeah. Caboose, you play the girl.
:'''Church:''' You want Caboose to be the woman?
:'''Tucker:''' Dude, it's a lot bigger stretch for you to play a man. Trust me.
:'''Caboose:''' Um, OK. What should I say?
:'''Tucker:''' Just say whatever a girl would say.
:'''Caboose:''' O-OK, um... I, uh, just really want to meet someone nice. Um, you know, someone who appreciates me for who I am. Not so much because I'm pretty but because they really want to get to know me because they want to find out what my interests are. Then we can spend time exploring the world together and sharing all the wonderful things in life that make it wonderful.
:''[Church and Tucker stare at Caboose for a few seconds]''
:'''Tucker:''' What!? Do you know girls at all? Talk about how much you like shoes!
:'''Church:''' Yeah, and about reality TV shows!
:'''Tucker:''' Church, you start. just hit on Caboose. Caboose, act like you like Church.
:'''Caboose:''' I've been preparing for this role my whole life.
:'''Tucker:''' Shut up.

===Chapter 8: Shaking the Foundation===
*'''Simmons:''' ''[Working on the fully built Lopez]'' There! Man, that safety switch was hard to bolt on. Probably should've gotten a bigger one.
:'''Donut:''' It's not how big the switch is, Simmons. It's how you flip it!
:'''Simmons:''' Donut, shut up!

*'''Tucker:''' Woah, there's another quake!
:'''Church:''' Yep.
:'''Tucker:''' You don't seem too worried.
:'''Church:''' No, I'm not. Because I know all of this isn't real.
:'''Tucker:''' Not real? You mean not real like your fake girlfriend?

===Chapter 9: Captive Audience===
*'''Grif:''' Man, the new robot really seems to be fitting in around here.
:'''Simmons:''' Yeah, I noticed...
:'''Grif:''' He's pretty popular.
:'''Simmons:''' Awesome...
:'''Donut:''' Yeah, even though no one understands him, people seem to really want to get past the rough, robotic exterior and get to know the inner Lopez.
:'''Simmons:''' ''[Sarcastic]'' Soooo happy for him...
:'''Donut:''' Me too. Wait, was that sarcastic?
:'''Grif:''' Yeah, dude, I have to admit, that one was off the charts even for my sarcastic meter.

*'''Church:''' OK, OK, it's like when a computer tries to solve a problem, do you know what recursion is?
:'''Caboose:''' Yeah, I love that movie.
:'''Church:''' No, no, it's like-it's like a thing where a computer tries a number of different iterations to solve a problem, then when it gets to the end, it returns all those solutions back up the line to the first iteration, and then it has its solution. Does that make sense?
:'''Tucker:''' You're saying you're a computer?
:'''Church:''' No no no, actually-actually yes, yeah, sort of, I actually- I am... a computer... kind of, I'm a computer program.
:'''Tucker:''' But your foot was bleeding.
:'''Caboose:''' And your breath kind of stinks. You know, I wasn't going to say anything before but, you know, since we're... all telling the truth about each other.
:'''Tucker:''' Caboose, you're an idiot!
:'''Caboose:''' Well, I didn't realize how much words could hurt until it was my turn. I don't think I want to play this honesty game anymore.
:'''Church:''' No, I'm a real person in here because this is all constructed by memories of the person that I'm based on. Same as me, I'm all the memories of that guy.
:'''Tucker:''' Who was that?
:'''Church:''' It's another program called Alpha, who was... kind of a dick. And he was based on a guy named the Director. Who was... also kind of a dick.
:'''Tucker:''' Well, I can see you're continuing the grand tradition.
:'''Church:''' Yeah, I'm very proud.
:'''Tucker:''' It's quite a lineage.

===Chapter 10: Introductions===
*'''North:''' Hey, Wash, wait up. listen, I hear you've had a meeting with internals.
:'''Washington:''' Oh, you did?
:'''North:''' Yeah, do you mind if I ask what it was about?
:'''Washington:''' Hmm, not really supposed to talk about that.
:'''North:''' Help me out here. I'm still getting heat about using equipment in the field.
:'''Washington:''' You did? Really? Without a pipeline back to the command server?
:'''North:''' I improvise. We had a problem.
:'''Washington:''' Let me guess. Are you related to the problem?
:'''North:''' OK, now ''I'' don't want to talk about it.
:'''Washington:''' Equipment in the field... Now don't forget what happened to Utah during training, you're lucky it didn't kill you.
:'''North:''' If I was lucky, I wouldn't have needed to use it at all.
:'''Washington:''' Well, you can relax. Internals didn't ask about you. It was something else. Lots of questions about the Insurrection and transmissions coming out of our... uh-
:''[Several soldiers in white armor run past them. One of them clips Washington's shoulder]''
:'''Soldier:''' Sorry, sir!
:'''Washington:''' Hey, what's going on? Soldier, where is everybody running?
:'''Soldier:''' New agent. He's squaring off against Maine, Wyoming and York on the training room floor. We're going to watch! Hey, guys, wait up!
:'''Washington:''' Three on one? I've gotta see this.
:'''North:''' Yeah, right behind you.

===Chapter 11: Lifting the Veil===
*'''South:''' Can't believe she did that to him.
:'''Maine:''' ''[Lashes out at a medic]'' Get off me!
:'''South:''' Shot his armour, sacrificed him...
:'''Washington:''' Lockdown hardens the armour. She probably saved his life.
:'''North:''' Quick thinking.
:'''Carolina:''' Yeah... ''Really'' quick...

*'''Lopez:''' Ustedes deberían dejarme investigar este fenómeno sísmico. [You people should let me investigate this seismic phenomenon.]
:'''Grif:''' Yeah, okay, buddy, whatever you say. Hey, you missed a spot.
:'''Lopez:''' Al menos todos moriremos con un vehículo limpio. [At least we'll all die with a clean vehicle.]
:''[Sarge walks up to the duo]''
:'''Grif:''' Heh, heh, you said it. Now come on, chop, chop. Back to work buddy. Lets hear less talk I don't understand and see more work I don't want to do.
:'''Sarge:''' How's it going out here?
:'''Grif:''' Great. The jeep has never been so clean.
:'''Sarge:''' That's because you're not the one cleaning it!
:'''Grif:''' Good point. You know, Sarge, all this time the laziness in me, its been really underutilized. I never reached my full potential. I just realized, I should be in management!
:'''Sarge:''' You do seem like a natural.
:'''Grif:''' It's the best job ever. You just tell people what to do, and they do it. And if you don't have anything for them to do, you just tell them to do something they did before, but do it better this time. I've got it all figured out.
:'''Sarge:''' How about you get busy helping with that jeep then?
:'''Grif:''' I'm sorry, what? I'm on break.

===Chapter 12: Mid-Game Substitution===
*'''Lopez:''' Estoy tomando su lugar en el equipo Rojo. [I am taking your place on Red Team.]
:'''Simmons:''' Why is my body speaking Spanish? Oh no. Did I go to Mexican Heaven by mistake? That's like white people Hell!
:'''Lopez:''' No. Reemplazándote es la única manera de que obtenga acceso al equipo que requiero para estudiar estos terremotos. [No. Replacing you is the only way I can get access to the equipment I need to research these quakes.]
:'''Simmons:''' I knew it! You just wanted to become super popular so you take my place!
:'''Lopez:''' No tendría que ser súper popular para hacer eso. [I wouldn't need to be super popular to do that.]
:'''Simmons:''' You're gonna regret this, Lopez.
:'''Lopez:''' ''[Leaving the cave]'' No veo como. [I don't see how.]
:'''Simmons:''' We'll all regret this!
:'''Lopez:''' ¡Eso ni siquiera tuvo sentido! [That didn't even make sense!]

===Chapter 14: Son of a bitch===
*'''North:''' Alright Bravo, lets move out. We have 3 minutes until first alert. Lets have our target in hand by 2.
:''[Team A enters the building. Washington and Maine are on look out]''
:'''Carolina:''' We're in. York, get up here. How long to crack that lock?
:'''York:''' Should take about 60 seconds. You can give me 15.
:''[The camera zooms in on the lock]''
:'''York:''' Wow. Is that holographic? That's high-end.
:'''Carolina:''' Can you get through it?
:'''York:''' Of course I can. You didn't bring me along for my good looks, did you? Whoever designed this is a genius.
:''[An alarm sounds]''
:'''Carolina:''' You were saying?
:'''York:''' Ok, I take it back, whoever designed this is an asshole. There!
:''[York successfully picks the lock, opening the door]''
:'''York:''' Everybody in.
:'''Carolina:''' Thanks York, but do something about that alarm system. We don't need anymore surprises.
:'''York:''' Does saying sorry count as something?
:''[Carolina glares at York]''
:'''York:''' Hmm. Guess not.
:'''Carolina:''' We'll secure the package. Set some trackers, then find us a way out of this. ''[Enters the vault with Washington and Maine]''
:'''York:''' Moving. ''[Leaves]''

===Chapter 15: The Sarcophagus===
*'''Carolina:''' Alright everyone, spread out. What we need is here somewhere. It's probably something small, easy to miss. Take as many scans as possible, there may be other things we can use.
:''[Maine picks up a Brute Shot as Washington walks past]''
:'''Washington:''' ''[Seeing Maine with his new Brute Shot]'' That's a good look.
:'''Maine:''' ''[Growls in agreement]''
:''[Cut to York contacting Carolina]''
:'''York:''' Carolina, motion trackers indicate we've got an enemy team outside the door.
:'''Carolina:''' Well, let's hope they're not as good at picking locks as you are, York. Alright, team, we're about to have company!

*'''Carolina:''' Maine, this should work fine. You're the only one heavy enough to counter-balance.
:'''Maine:''' Too high.
:'''Carolina:''' Oh, don't be a baby! ''[Kicks Maine out the window]''

*'''Washington:''' ''[After firing a Fuel Rod Cannon at the Insurrectionist with the flamethrower]'' What the hell? It bounces? Who designs a gun that bounces? This is the worst gun ever. Of all-- ''[Carolina pushes him out of the way from the oncoming fire]''

===Chapter 17: Spiral===
*'''Carolina:''' Nice work, Maine.
:'''Maine:''' ''[Puts the briefcase on his back]'' Thanks.
:'''York:''' Yup, subtle as always. The Response Team is probably on the way.

===Chapter 20: Hate To Say Goodbye===
*'''Simmons:''' Caboose is... God? I guess that makes sense now that I think about it. Sure explains the fuck out of the Platypus.

*'''Church:''' Damn it! Why!? Why did you do it!?
:'''Caboose:''' Church, you're alive! Yeah, I knew it! Yeah, I told them! Yeah, she was right! Yeah, we could get you out!
:'''Sarge:''' Alright then. We're square, blue. We helped you get your shiny blue buddy out, so that makes us-
:'''Church:''' What are you doing here!?
:'''Caboose:''' Same as you! We found you in the place where they were keeping you, we travelled a really, really long way to come to this place and fought a bunch of people, and then fought a bunch of more people, and then we got you and took you and saved you in the end!
:'''Church:''' But why would you do that!? WHY!?
:'''Sarge:''' Well, clearly, it wasn't to hear &quot;thank you&quot;.
:'''Grif:''' ''[Off-screen]'' Hey, we're taking fire out here!
:'''Church:''' ''Thank you!?'' You fucked everything up! I was at peace! I had it figured out! It was over! Put me back!
:'''Sarge:''' Put you back? Buddy, we just fought through an entire military base to reach you! And now you want to go back!?
:'''Church:''' YES!
:'''Caboose:''' She said we need you! She was the one who knew how to get you out!
:'''Church:''' &quot;She&quot;? Who-who are you talking about? Tex? The real Tex?
:'''Caboose:''' Tex? No, no, not Tex. The new lady.
:'''Church:''' New lady?
:''[Carolina enters]''
:'''Carolina:''' Hey there, Alpha. Been looking for you for a long time.
:'''Church:''' Oh no...
:'''Carolina:''' Now that I've found you, you're gonna help me do what I should have done years ago. You're gonna help me kill the Director.

==Season 10==
===Chapter 1: Revenants===
*'''Stu Stuman:''' And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, from the far distant system of San Helios, I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly, the bad boys of Grifball, Team Heretic! And your home playing favorites, Slipspace!
:''[The monitor showing the sports event goes haywire. Delta appears and startles the sleeping insurrectionist in the chair]''
:'''Delta:''' I hate to intrude, but you have not performed any work in the past 13 minutes and 42 seconds. That strikes me as rather inefficient.
:'''Insurrectionist:''' Oh, uh, sorry, I was just trying to, uh, yeah, how... how do you get a new window? You know, like the, you know, like a new window, that's the button thing for that, you know?
:'''Delta:''' I believe the keys you are looking for are Alt, Tab.
:'''Insurrectionist:''' Oh yeah, thanks, little guy. Wait, who are you? You don't look like the normal holo-projection.
:'''Delta:''' That is because I am the A.I. designated as Delta, from Project Freelancer.
:'''Insurrectionist:''' Wait, you're ''Project'' Freelancer? Wait, aren't those the bad guys?
:'''Delta:''' There is no need for name calling. I submit that Project Freelancer is neither good nor bad, much like your own forces. We are merely two groups dedicated to obtaining different results.
:'''Insurrectionist:''' Whoa, man, that's... that's deep. It's like... it's like there's different universes but you know there's-
:''[York grabs the back of the Insurrectionist's head]''
:'''York:''' Don't encourage him. He's already long-winded as it is. ''[Slams the Insurrectionist's head into the desk]''

*'''Church:''' Washington? Why are you wearing blue armor? Why are you wearing ''my'' armor?
:'''Washington:''' Oh... um...
:'''Caboose:''' Oh... yeah, yeah...
:'''Washington:''' They sort of used me to... replace you... on Blue Team...
:'''Church:''' Replace me?
:'''Caboose:''' I wouldn't really use the word &quot;replace&quot;, but there's no word for &quot;take over for you and make everything better almost immediately&quot;, so we just say &quot;replace&quot;.
:'''Church:''' When did this happen!?
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, do you remember when you went into the memory unit and then everyone was sad?
:'''Church:''' Yeah?
:'''Caboose:''' It was right after that.
:'''Church:''' Right after I left!?
:'''Caboose:''' Well, it wasn't right after, but you know, it was like... five or... ten seconds.
:'''Church:''' You've gotta be kidding me.
:'''Caboose:''' Life is short, Epsilon. We had to move on.
:'''Church:''' I think I just got dumped by Caboose. This is un-fucking-believable!
:'''Caboose:''' Yeah, it's... it's not me. It's you.
:'''Washington:''' Epsilon, they just needed to even the teams, it's really not--
:'''Church:''' Hey, would you guys stop calling me &quot;Epsilon&quot;? I'm Church now.
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, um, we sort of call the new guy &quot;Church&quot;... you know... sometimes...
:'''Church:''' What?
:'''Washington:''' Caboose just finds it easier, the armor color confuses him, as do a lot of things.
:'''Church:''' Let me get this straight, Agent Washington. You took my name too?
:'''Washington:''' It's only in certain circumstances.
:'''Caboose:''' Like when we talk to him, or need to fill out paperwork, or sing &quot;Happy Birthday&quot; to him.
:'''Church:''' YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!
:'''Sarge:''' Well, this is awkward. You know, I think the quickest solution would be a good old fashioned thinning of the ranks with my trusty shotgun. Any takers?
:'''Washington:''' Er, we're fine.
:'''Sarge:''' Well, it was worth a shot. You win this round, Blue. ''[Quietly]'' But I'll be back...

===Chapter 2: Heavy Metal===
:'''Washington:''' Why do cars hate me?

===Chapter 3: Follow the Leader===
*'''Carolina:''' OK, everyone load up! Nav-points are in your HUDs, alternate Navs uploaded to your secondary objectives! Sync!
:''[Beat]''
:'''Carolina:''' ''Sync!''
:'''Washington:''' Oh, uh, right! Everyone, just say &quot;sync&quot; whenever she says that.
:'''Tucker:''' Oh... sync?
:'''Caboose:''' Refrigerator!
:'''Carolina:''' You guys not used to getting orders?
:'''Grif:''' Oh, we're used to getting them alright. We just aren't used to doing much with them.
:'''Carolina:''' We're retreating!
:'''Simmons:''' Oh! OK, yeah! That's usually step one in most of our plans! Sync!
:'''Caboose:''' Easy-bake oven!
:'''Carolina:''' ''[Sighing]'' Let's just go.

===Chapter 4: Turbulence===
*'''Carolina:''' What's going on? Why are we stopping?
:'''Grif:''' We've been driving for hours.
:'''Carolina:''' And we've got a lot more ground to cover. So, let's keep moving!
:'''Grif''': Listen, lady, I know this is your first road trip with us, but we've got a system. And that system includes snack breaks, bathroom breaks and stopping to take pictures of funny road signs.
:'''Carolina:''' That's ridiculous!
:'''Grif:''' Not as ridiculous as Bonner Street.
:'''Simmons:''' ''[Sighs]'' So close, dude. So close.
:'''Grif:''' It's out there, Simmons. We just have to have faith that we'll find it.
:'''Washington:''' I should probably go stop her from killing your friend.
:'''Caboose:''' Um, Tucker, I just noticed something. Something really bad.
:'''Tucker:''' Yeah, me too, dude. I think our guy to girl ratio peaked like five years ago.
:'''Caboose:''' Uh, n-no, Tucker, um... yeah, we... we forgot to bring Church.
:'''Tucker:''' Wait, did you just now realize that Church isn't here?
:'''Caboose:''' He's not gonna be pleased about this one.
:'''Tucker:''' Calm down, moron! We didn't leave him behind!
:'''Caboose:''' Ah, yes, but you see, I'm not seeing him, so... where is he?
:'''Church:''' ''[Appearing as a small blue hologram]'' Ugh... you don't want to know.
:'''Caboose:''' CHURCH! And you're... you're so small. I would like to feed you a small cracker.
:'''Tucker:''' How are you liking the new place, Tinkerbelle?
:'''Church:''' You mean your disgusting storage unit?
:'''Tucker:''' What!? How is my storage unit disgusting?
:'''Church:''' Well, for starters, I had to delete 50 gigs worth of crap just so I could fit in this thing.
:'''Tucker:''' Woah, hang on a second, dude. You didn't delete my, uh, &quot;Home Movies&quot; folder, did you?
:'''Church:''' And that brings me to my second point.
:'''Carolina:''' ''[Watching the conversation]'' What a bunch of worthless idiots.
:'''Washington:''' Yeah, they're idiots, but they're not that bad. Once you get to know 'em.
:'''Carolina:''' Hm.
:'''Washington:''' You know, we almost managed to trap the Meta the last time we were here.
:'''Carolina:''' But you didn't. ''[Walks off]''
:'''Washington:''' No. I guess not.

===Chapter 5: The New Kid===
*'''North''': It's alright, Theta. Come on out. People just want to say hello to you.
:'''Theta''': ''[Hiding behind North's leg]'' I don't know. There's so many of them. And they're so... big.
:'''Washington''': You see? I'm not the only one who thinks size is important.
:'''York''': I'm just gonna let that one go.
:'''North''': It's OK, Theta. They're all friends of mine. For reasons beyond my comprehension.
:'''Theta''': They're looking at me.
:'''North''': That's because they want to meet you. This is York and Wash.
:'''Washington''': Hey there, little... computer... dude...
:'''York''': Give it a rest, Wash.

*'''Grif''': Sarge, how come every time the Blues get involved in something stupid and dangerous, we get dragged along too?
:'''Sarge''': You know what they say, &quot;keep your friends close, and your enemies within range of your primary firearm!&quot;
:'''Simmons''': Sir, I realize-
:'''Sarge''': &quot;So you can shoot 'em!&quot;

===Chapter 6: What's the &quot;I&quot; Stand For?===
*'''Tucker:''' That's it, I'm doing it!
:'''Church:''' Tucker!
:'''Tucker:''' BOW-CHICKA-BOW--'''WOAH!''' ''[Ducks to avoid Carolina shooting at him]'' Same team, same team!

*'''Sigma:''' I would like to say just how appreciative the two of us are for Carolina's sacrifice. Agent Carolina, if anyone can excel without an A.I. Unit, it is you.
:'''Carolina:''' Thank you, Sigma.
:'''Sigma:''' And Agent Texas, of course. That goes without saying.
:'''South:''' Right. I notice she doesn't have to attend class.

===Chapter 7: Oversight===
*'''North:''' ''[Watching a Fireworks display by Theta]'' That's really great, Theta!
:'''Theta:''' Thank you. I worked super hard on it.
:''[South walks past carrying a tray]''
:'''York:''' Hey, Theta. You mind if I talk to North for a second?
:'''Theta:''' Uh... OK.
:'''York:''' Need you to shut down, OK? Delta too. You know, it's the rules. ''[Delta Disappears]''
:'''Theta:''' North?
:'''North:''' It'll be OK. I won't talk too long.
:'''Theta:''' Alright. ''[Disappears]''
:'''North:''' What's up?
:'''York:''' I need to ask you about something.
:'''North:''' OK, shoot.
:'''York:''' I need to ask you about the Alpha.
:'''North:''' Where did you hear that word?
:'''York:''' Same place you heard it. Up here. ''[Points to his brain]''
:'''Washington:''' ''[Holding a cup with a straw in it]'' What's an Alpha?
:'''York:''' Wash, are you eating inside your helmet?
:'''Washington:''' Maybe. Delta says they got the helmet waste disposal out of Beta. That would make my eating more efficient.
:'''York:''' ''[Chuckles]'' You believe that? Maybe he is getting more personable.
:'''North:''' It's not ''an'' Alpha, Wash, it's ''the'' Alpha. Theta thinks about him a lot. More than &quot;thinks&quot; really, he's obsessed.
:'''York:''' Delta too. You know all these units call each other &quot;Brother&quot;? They call this one &quot;Father&quot;. No, that's not right.
:'''North:''' Creator.
:'''York:''' Yeah.
:'''Washington:''' ''[Holding a banana]'' I thought the Director would be their creator.
:'''York:''' Haven't you been paying any attention in class? AIs aren't created. They're copies of something.
:'''North:''' But our AIs are just fragments.
:'''York:''' Which begs the question, where's the original?
:'''Washington:''' So this Alpha thing is what creates our fragments.
:'''York:''' Jesus, will you swallow, for God's sake!?
:'''Washington:''' ''[Swallows, then produces an apple]'' It creates them?
:'''North:''' Yeah, Theta isn't clear. It creates them or something.
:'''York:''' Yeah. It's the &quot;or something&quot; part that has me worried.

===Chapter 8: Fall From Heaven===
*'''Tucker:''' Man, where was this chick back when we had that awesome tank? Bitches love tanks!
:'''Church:''' I don't get it! What is she looking for?
:'''Tucker:''' You tell me. I don't know half of what's happening these days. You found me here, remember?
:'''Church:''' Oh, yeah! You were actually kind of a badass that time.
:'''Tucker:''' Dude, I'm kind of a badass all the time. You guys just happened to notice it then.
:'''Caboose:''' Ah, that's not true. I never noticed it.
:'''Church:''' Look, the point is, she's not telling us everything. I just don't understand why.
:'''Tucker:''' Who knows, man? I've tried everything I can to get some info out of her. I tried hitting on her, I tried sleeping with her, I tried making out with her...
:'''Church:''' Sounds like a complete effort.
:'''Tucker:''' Dude, no kidding. I used the whole playbook. I even used my best pick-up line: &quot;Hey, baby. Did you fall from Heaven? 'cause I've always wanted to bone an angel!&quot;
:'''Church:''' Tucker, be honest. Have you ever had sex with anything besides an alien?
:'''Tucker:''' Church, the more important question here is do you know any girls who aren't complete bitches who won't sleep with me?
:'''Church:''' ''[Chuckles]'' Sorry, dude, that seems to be all I have in my life.
:'''Tucker:''' ''[Sighs]'' You're like the worst wingman ever.
:'''Caboose:''' Of all time.

*'''Sigma:''' Agent Maine, isn't that the soldier from the freeway? The one that shot you in the throat?
:'''Maine:''' ''[Growls angrily]''
:'''Sigma:''' I thought so. Sic 'em!

===Chapter 9: Fighting Fire===
*'''Sigma:''' Hello, gentlemen.
:'''York:''' Hey, Sig. You sure he's good to fight so soon? He was hurt pretty bad.
:'''Sigma:''' As compared to whom, Agent York? You two don't look so good yourselves. ''[Delta appears]'' Hello, brother.
:'''Delta:''' Sigma. Protocol dictates that A.I. units are not to communicate directly with each-
:'''Sigma:''' Protocol is just another way of saying rules, Delta. Remember what the Director says. There are no rules on the battlefield. Besides, we A.I. should really stick together. Excuse me, I'll be right back. ''[Disappears]''
:'''York:''' I'll be honest. That one kind of gives me the creeps.
:'''Washington:''' Yeah, I hear you. Come on, let's move.

*'''Sarge:''' Attention, Blue Team! We would like to propose a temporary truce so that we may discuss our current situation! Do you accept?
:'''Church:''' I don't get it. Does he still think we're fighting or something?
:'''Caboose:''' Maybe it's a trap.
:'''Tucker:''' I doubt they're smart enough to think of that. But then again, neither are you.
:'''Caboose:''' How do you know that? Are you in with them?
:'''Church:''' ''[Clears throat]'' Yes! We accept!
:'''Tucker:''' So what's up?
:'''Sarge:''' It's our mutual friend slash enemy slash companion. Or &quot;Friendenemapanion&quot; for short.

*'''Simmons:''' Hey, Caboose. You were the one who put Epsilon in that floating alien ball thing, right?
:'''Caboose:''' Hover-Church can also solve crimes.
:'''Simmons:''' Well, how would you feel about putting him in something a little... different?
:''[The Blood Gulch Crew look at Carolina's Mongoose]''
:'''Church:''' Oh, fuck you guys.
:'''Caboose:''' You are gonna solve so many crimes!

*'''Carolina:''' ''[Taking cover from a pair of Chain Gunners]'' Wyoming, move up!
:'''Wyoming:''' With all due respect, I prefer not to be killed, if at all possible.
:'''Carolina:''' York! Got any ideas?
:'''York:''' I don't know. Have we got any nukes?
:'''Carolina:''' You mean besides the one I'm going to drop on Wyoming if he doesn't move THE HELL '''UP!'''
:'''Wyoming:''' Yes, I can see everything just fine from back here, thank you.
:'''Carolina:''' We need to get into that bunker. That's where C.T. and their leader are holed up.
:'''Washington:''' How are we gonna get through all of this?
:'''Wyoming:''' So far, we're not.
:'''York:''' Maybe Wyoming should try one of his &quot;knock knock&quot; jokes.
:'''Wyoming:''' Uh, who's there?
:'''York:''' Nobody, stop.
:'''Wyoming:''' Nobody stop who? Can I go on?
:'''York:''' Yeah, I was kidding, now shut up.
:'''Wyoming:''' Shut up who?
:'''Carolina:''' Both of you shut up.

===Chapter 10: C.T.===
*'''Texas:''' Quiet. That woman is guarded by turrets.
:'''Carolina:''' I can get past them.
:'''Texas:''' If there was a way to do it, I would have already done it.

*'''Carolina:''' Don't forget our objective. We're just here to retrieve the armor.
:'''Texas:''' Carolina, I know what the fucking objective is!

*'''Washington:''' So ''that's'' what happened to her armor.
:'''Carolina:''' Apparently. We never did complete our objective.
:'''Washington:''' But why come out here? What's the motivation?
:'''Carolina:''' ''[Picks up the data]'' I have a feeling this will tell us.

===Chapter 11: Out of Body===
*'''Tucker:''' So, uh, how do you feel?
:'''Church:''' ''[Possessing Carolina's Mongoose]'' I feel like running over each and every one of you.
:'''Tucker:''' So pretty much the same as before.
:'''Church:''' Yeah, pretty much.
:'''Grif:''' Y'know, Simmons, I think I'm gonna let ''you'' call &quot;shotgun&quot; on this one.
:'''Simmons:''' Fuck that!
:''[Church's AI form appears in the Mongoose's windshield]''
:'''Church:''' Man, this sucks!
:'''Tucker:''' What are you complaining about? You've finally got your own body.
:'''Church:''' My own body? Tucker, I'm a fucking Tonka Truck!
:'''Tucker:''' OK, yeah, but you could ''literally'' pick up chicks with this thing!
:'''Church:''' ''[Sarcastic]'' Oh yeah, because every girl just dreams about settling down with Optimus Prime-- '''HONK!'''
:''[Church flashes as the Mongoose's horn goes off]''
:'''Church:''' ''[Irritated]'' Caboose! Don't do that.
:'''Caboose:''' Sorry.

*'''Grif:''' Well Sarge, You've always wanted to watch a Blue die. Looks like you're going to get your wish after all.
:'''Sarge:''' Actually, Grif, it's always been my wish to watch ''you'' die.
:'''Grif:''' Oh right.
:'''Sarge:''' Yep. Every night after you boys would retire to your bunks, I would climb up to the top of the base and just wait. Hoping I would see a shooting star. So that I could wish for your violent, and unbearably painful demise.
:'''Grif:''' OK, you can stop now.
:'''Sarge:''' I even had a little jingle to go along with it.
:'''Grif:''' Please don't.
:'''Sarge:''' ''[Singing to the tune of &quot;When You Wish Upon a Star&quot;]'' ''#I just wish that Grif was dead!#''
:'''Grif:''' I hate you.
:'''Sarge and Simmons:''' ''[Singing]'' ''#Put a bullet-#''
:'''Simmons:''' ''#-through his head!#''
:'''Grif:''' What the- Simmons!? How do you know that song!?
:'''Simmons:''' Oh, it's been in my dreams for years! Now it all makes sense! Oh, thank God!
:'''Grif:''' What!?
:'''Simmons:''' I thought I was crazy when I woke up with that rifle in my hand!
:'''Sarge:''' ''[Chuckles]'' Well, ain't that the power of music!
:'''Grif:''' Simmons, why didn't you tell me about this!?
:'''Simmons:''' Shut up, it wasn't even loaded.

===Chapter 12: Out of Mind===
*'''Carolina:''' I don't understand. These are more than memories.
:'''Church:''' His journal entries were part of the data that Wash recovered and he stored them in his personal file. Which just so happened to be one of the many folders that yours truly picked up the last time I visited a Freelancer facility. Not bad for a rag tag idiot if I do say so myself. Feel free to start begging for my forgiveness whenever you feel like it, Carolina.
:'''Carolina:''' Not happening.
:'''Church:''' What? Seriously?
:'''Carolina:''' But, I will beg you.
:'''Church:''' Yeah, well, I'm pretty great.

*'''Carolina:''' Well, you'll have plenty of time on our ride back.
:'''Church:''' About that, hey, is there any way we can get back to the others that doesn't involve me carrying you?
:'''Carolina:''' ''[Chuckles]'' Wow, Church. I didn't know an A.I. Unit could get so easily embarrassed. Tell you what. Just tell your friends that you picked me up. How does that sound?
:'''Church:''' Remind me never to let you talk to Tucker again.

===Chapter 13: Greenish-Blue with Envy===
*'''Sigma:''' Did the training session go poorly, Carolina?
:'''Carolina:''' No, it went fine! Just not good enough!
:'''Sigma:''' That is most unusual for you.
:'''Carolina:''' Why does she even have a locker in here if she doesn't use our locker room? And what is so special about her!?
:'''Sigma:''' She does seem to get special treatment, doesn't she? Strange, considering she's not the best Freelancer.
:''[Gamma appears]''
:'''Gamma:''' It's probably because of Omega.
:'''Sigma:''' Now Gamma, we're not meant to speak about Omega. You know the rules.
:'''Carolina:''' Hello, Gamma. Does Wyoming know you're talking to another A.I.?
:'''Gamma:''' I am not talking to another A.I.. We are both talking to you.
:'''Carolina:''' Who is Omega?
:'''Sigma:''' He is one of our brothers.
:'''Gamma:''' He is the strongest of us.
:'''Carolina:''' And Agent Texas has him? She uses an A.I.?
:'''Sigma:''' Hmm... I don't think it's our place to say.
:'''Gamma:''' All the top agents have an A.I..
:'''Sigma:''' Well, except you, Agent Carolina. You chose not to.
:'''Carolina:''' That lying-- This all makes sense now! I've been an idiot! She's not better than me! It's all been Omega!

===Chapter 15: Three's A Crowd===
*'''F.I.L.S.S.:''' A new challenger has arrived. Today's match-up is Agent Texas vs Agent Carolina.
:''[Carolina and York walk up to a set of weapons]''
:'''York:''' OK, just pick up a piece of equipment you know how to use already. ''[Carolina starts picking up a load of grenades]'' Or just grab everything and anything. That works too, I guess...
:''[Sigma watches from the observation booth. Omega appears next to Texas]''
:'''Texas:''' Hey, I've got this one, Omega.
:'''Omega:''' ''[Growls]'' Next time. ''[Disappears]''
:'''F.I.L.S.S.:''' Agent York, please clear the floor.
:'''York:''' In a second, F.I.L.S.S.. ''[To Carolina]'' Now, at first the voice of the A.I., sorry, A.I.'s, it will feel like a tickle, OK? Just focus on that and it will get clear. Trust them. I know that'll be hard, but I promise they'll help.
:'''F.I.L.S.S.:''' Agent York, clear the floor please.
:'''York:''' In a second, F.I.L.S.S.
:'''F.I.L.S.S.:''' Clear the floor or enter the match, York. Your choice.
:'''York:''' For the record, I would stay to support you, but she's really damn scary... OK, maybe you're both pretty scary. Gotta go. ''[Leaves]''

*''[Sarge and Simmons come across Lopez standing like a scarecrow]''
:'''Sarge:''' There he is! Spanish inquisition! Someone's been torturing him!
:'''Simmons:''' Hmm, I don't think so, sir. He kind of looks like a scarecrow.
:'''Sarge:''' Savages! And they've erected this fence as a warning for civilized people to stay away.
:'''Simmons:''' It actually looks like a garden. Wait a minute, is that compost? Sustainable farming? Environmentally friendly housing? Oh no...
:'''Sarge:''' What?
:''[Donut walks up to them]''
:'''Donut:''' Oh, hey guys! I thought I heard voices!
:'''Sarge:''' Donut?
:'''Donut:''' Hi, Sarge! Long time no see!
:'''Simmons:''' I thought you were dead!
:'''Sarge:''' You know, we sure seem to say that a lot these days.
:'''Donut:''' I almost was! That jerk, Washington, shot me in the stomach, but then my armour locked up on me. Kept me alive for a while until it unlocked again for some reason. It was horrible! Do you know what removes blood stains from this armour? Not a lot, I tell you. I lay there forever, wondering how I was going to get all that dark red out of this light red, you know?
:'''Simmons:''' How did you survive? When your armour locked, you would have just bled to death.
:'''Sarge:''' And when did you get all new-agey?
:'''Simmons:''' Uh oh...
:'''Sarge:''' What?
:'''Simmons:''' Sarge, think about it. Medical attention, fringe holistic lifestyle choices. You know what that means.
:'''Sarge:''' What?
:'''Doc:''' ''[Walks up behind Simmons and Sarge]'' Well, look what the cat dragged in. And by dragged in, I mean spit out like a hairball. Hey, guys!
:'''Sarge:''' Simmons, is that Doc behind us?
:'''Simmons:''' I think so.
:'''Sarge:''' Simmons, get my gun.
:'''Simmons:''' You're holding it, sir.
:'''Sarge:''' Oh, right. Simmons, I'm gonna need you to commence operation 'point my gun at Doc'.
:'''Simmons:''' But sir, operation 'point my gun at Doc' was just a code phrase for operation 'point my gun at Grif'.
:'''Sarge:''' Drat! Fine. Switch to operation 'point my gun at Grif'.
:'''Simmons:''' Yeah, actually, sir, that one was just what it sounds like. Sorry.
:'''Sarge:''' Double Drat!

===Chapter 18: Change of Plan===
*'''Chairman:''' Dear Director, Your request for more bases in which to conduct your experiments was reviewed with much reservation by our chairperson. Project Freelancer has been entrusted with one of our militaries' most valuable assets. Oversight becomes a much more difficult process if your operations are not centralized. Nonetheless, we have granted your request. However, we reserve the right to revoke this approval as we see fit. I sincerely hope this does not happen and anticipate you will not give us an occasion to do so.

*'''Church:''' So, that's it!? You're just gonna turn your back on us!?
:'''Washington:''' Epsilon, I know thi-
:'''Church:''' No, no, you're right! You know, I guess I should have seen that one coming! It's not exactly like you're new to the concept is it!?
:'''Sarge:''' That's a little harsh.
:'''Church:''' But you guys!? After all the shit you've put me through, I really thought at least you would have my back!
:'''Grif:''' Us!? What the hell did we do!?
:'''Church:''' ''[Growing bigger and redder]'' You shot me through the head, you put a bomb in my gut, you killed me with my own damn tank, ''and that's just how we met!''
:'''Tucker:''' Church, calm down! What's your problem!?
:'''Church:''' ''YOU'RE MY PROBLEM! YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY PROBLEM! EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IS JUST A PROBLEM THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH '''ON A DAILY BASIS!'''''
:''[Disgusted, Tucker turns and leaves the room]''
:'''Church:''' ''[Reverting to his normal size]'' Guys...
:''[Sarge nods to Grif and Simmons and all 3 leave the room, angry with Church]''
:'''Church:''' Guys, wait a minute... ''[Look at Caboose]'' Caboose...
:''[Caboose backs up, then quietly turns and leaves]''
:'''Carolina:''' Forget it, Church. We don't need them.
:'''Washington:''' I don't know what's gotten into you, Carolina. But you'd better figure out the difference between your enemies and your friends. ''[Leaves]''

===Chapter 19: Party Crasher===
*'''South:''' You think you're so fucking tough, don't you, Texas? Well, let me ask you something. Who's the monster now, bitch?

*'''Wyoming:''' Now where are you hiding? Knock knock, mate.
:'''Battle Rifle Soldier:''' Wait, who's there?
:''[York drops down from the ceiling]''
:'''Battle Rifle Soldier:''' Whoa! It's York!
:''[York kills the 2 soldiers with a shotgun, then battles Wyoming]''
:'''York:''' Knock knock!
:'''Wyoming:''' Ah yes, that's what I'm saying, who's there?
:'''York:''' It's York! ''[Smashes open a locker, hitting Wyoming in the process and sees a photo of a woman]'' Hello.
:'''Wyoming:''' Who's there?
:'''York:''' I told you! It's York!
:'''Wyoming:''' It's York... who?
:''[York throws a locker at Wyoming, defeating him]''
:'''York:''' It's &quot;York&quot; catch, asshole. ''[Grabs a photo of a woman floating in the air]'' Talk about knock knocks. ''[Puts the photo in his pocket]''

*'''Sigma:''' You run, Agent Texas. We are the Meta. And we will find you. Very soon.

===Chapter 20: Reckless===
*'''Tucker:''' ''[Looking at the Meta's Brute Shot]'' Wow! ''[Whistles]''
:'''Sarge:''' Great ginzu gunshow!
:'''Washington:''' Is that what I think it is? Is that ''whose'' I think it is?
:'''Simmons:''' Stolen alien weaponry used by the scariest fucking mute in the galaxy? Yeah, pretty much.
:'''Sarge:''' Like, half knife, half rifle. What do you call that?
:'''Tucker:''' I don't know, but we'll take it!
:'''Grif:''' No! There is no way I'm giving up the Grif shot!
:'''Tucker:''' Oh please, what were you gonna do? Eat off it?
:'''Grif:''' Uh, actually, dickhead, I asked Donut to mount it for me at the base.
:'''Donut:''' ''[Emerging from Red base]'' And you know I can't resist a good mounting!
:'''Washington:''' You've been hiding one of the most advanced pieces of technology known to man, so you can hang it in your living room!?
:'''Grif:''' ''[Beat]'' Well, when you say it like that, it sounds dumb.
:'''Washington:''' That's because it is dumb!
:'''Doc:''' I think it's kind of cool. I mean, when I met you guys, all you did was stand around and talk. But now you can't walk five feet without getting wrapped up in some crazy adventure.
:'''Sarge:''' What's your point?
:'''Doc:''' I don't know. I just thought it was cool, I mean, come on, you guys have been through a lot together. Don't you want something to remember all the good times?
:'''Tucker:''' The good times!? I was stranded in the desert!
:'''Simmons:''' We were almost killed!
:'''Sarge:''' I learned my entire military career was a lie!
:'''Donut:''' And I got shot!
:'''Washington:''' ''[Whistles]''
:'''Doc:''' OK, yeah, it wasn't perfect, but look what you all got out of it.
:'''Sarge:''' You mean the rifle knife?
:'''Grif:''' You mean the &quot;Grif Shot&quot;.
:'''Doc:''' Sure there's that, but Sarge, you finally got to lead an actual military operation. And Tucker? You learned how to use your sword like a pro.
:'''Tucker:''' Bow chika bow wow?
:'''Doc:''' You found a new team, Simmons got back his old team, I finally managed to keep a patient from dying...
:'''Donut:''' And in return, I didn't die.

*'''Church:''' Oh no!
:'''Carolina:''' Church, what is this?
:'''Church:''' He kept trying. He kept trying to get her right.
:'''Carolina:''' You think these things are anything like the real deal?
:''[Cut to a large army of Tex clones who all crunch their knuckles and stretch their necks in unison. One of them steps forward]''
:'''Tex Drone:''' ''[Speaking in Omega's voice]'' You have no idea what kind of trouble you are in. ''[Evil chuckle]''

===Chapter 21: True Colors===
*'''Washington:''' ''[Holding his hand out to Carolina]'' Get up.
:'''Carolina:''' What are you doing here?
:'''Washington:''' ''[Pulls Carolina to her feet]'' I told you, they're not so bad once you get to know 'em.
:'''Church:''' Well, I thought this wasn't your fight.
:'''Sarge:''' Come on, overwhelming odds with little to no chance of success? How can we resist?
:'''Tucker:''' You got a problem with that, Church?
:'''Church:''' Guys, I'm an asshole, I admit it. And I will gladly accept any and all smartass remarks after this is over. But I'd like to point out the fact that we're standing in a room full of crazy Freelancer robots that are ready to completely and utterly fuck our shit up!
:'''Tucker:''' So, cheesy forgiveness speech later?
:'''Sarge:''' Yeah, that sounds good.
:'''Carolina:''' Lock and load, people!

*'''Caboose:''' ''[Charging into the army of Tex Drones]'' My name is Michael J. Caboose! And I! HATE! '''TAXES!'''
:'''Grif:''' It's Texas, you idiot!
:'''Caboose:''' That too!

===Chapter 22: Don't Say It===
*'''Sarge:''' Private Grif, front and center on the double!
:'''Grif:''' Ugh, Sarge, I'm tired. Do I have to do it on the double?
:'''Simmons:''' Look at me, sir! I got front and center on the triple!
:'''Sarge:''' Dag nabbit! Now I've got two insubordinate soldiers! When I say &quot;double&quot;, I mean double!
:'''Grif:''' I will only go so far as single and a half.
:'''Simmons:''' If these orders were hamburgers, then you'd do it double.
:'''Grif:''' What? Who has hamburgers?
:'''Sarge:''' The only hamburger meat here is gonna be your face when I'm done with my shotgun court-martial! And don't even ask me about the type of buns!
:'''Grif:''' ''[Sighs]'' That sounds like the most delicious punishment ever.
:'''Simmons:''' Of all time.

[[Category:Machinima]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149195</id>
      <parentid>3149192</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:30:07Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>82.27.235.81</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Chapter 15: The Sarcophagus */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="53650" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''The Project Freelancer Saga''''' is a chapter in Rooster Teeth's Red vs. Blue saga, lasting from 2011 to 2012.

==Season 9==
===Chapter 1: Rounding Error===
*'''Church:''' Hi. My name is Leonard Church. But nobody calls me Leonard. Most people call me Church. Sometimes they call me Alpha and a few people even know me as the Director. But I haven't been called that in a really, really long time. You see, I notice when you look at me, I know I look like a super badass space warrior, but I'm really not. I'm actually a-
:'''Tucker:''' Hey, Church!
:'''Church:''' Uh... ''[Clears throat]'' Just, uh, ignore, uh... I'm actually a computer program that's been reincarnated with the memory of-
:'''Tucker:''' Church!
:'''Church:''' I'm actually a computer program-
:'''Tucker:''' HEY, CHURCH!
:'''Church:''' ...that's been reincarnated with the memory of a-
:'''Tucker:''' WHERE ARE YOU!?
:'''Church:''' OK, I'm just gonna start over! I just think I'm gonna go back to the beginning.
:'''Tucker:''' CHURCH!
:'''Church:''' Hi.
:'''Tucker:''' CHURCH!
:'''Church:''' My name is Leonard Church.
:'''Tucker:''' CHURCH!
:'''Church:''' But nobody calls me-
:'''Tucker:''' HEY CHURCH, COME ON!
:'''Church:''' ''[Groans]'' GOD DAMN IT! WHAT!? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?
:'''Tucker:''' Come on! Get up here!
:'''Church:''' Yeah, OK, hold on! For God's sake, I'm coming! SHUT UP!

*'''Church:''' Was that Donut?
:'''Tucker:''' I don't know. That's the chick who was working on the jeep.
:'''Church:''' He's not a girl, Tucker, he just wears pink armor. It's a guy.
:'''Tucker:''' It is? Are you sure?
:'''Church:''' Yes, I'm sure.
:'''Tucker:''' Uhh... then I suddenly feel pretty awkward about something I did 20 minutes ago.
:'''Caboose:''' During alone time.
:'''Church:''' What the hell is alone time?
:'''Tucker:''' Hey, it's one of the rules of the cliff, dude. What happens in alone time stays in alone time.
:'''Church:''' What do you do in alone time, Caboose?
:'''Caboose:''' Ah, I do the same stuff I do during together time. Only half.
:'''Church:''' What!?
:'''Tucker:''' Another benefit of alone time: not listening to him for a few minutes.

===Chapter 2: The Twins===
*'''Scully:''' Christ, is it cold or what!?
:'''Murphy:''' Uh huh.
:'''Scully:''' How cold do you think it is!? I-it has to be below freezing, right?
:'''Murphy:''' Well, there's ice, so yeah. Freezing.
:'''Scully:''' Patrolling in the ice. Give me a fucking break. You know who doesn't have to patrol in the middle of the night, in the ice?
:'''Murphy:''' I'm sure you'll tell me.
:'''Scully:''' Jenkins. I bet Jenkins is sleeping right now! Back in his rack, with his big fucking melonhead on a soft pillow.
:'''Murphy:''' Yeah, that's Jenkins.
:'''Scully:''' You know I had terminal 8 weeks straight!? 8 weeks, man!
:'''Murphy:''' Well, lucky you.
:'''Scully:''' And then I make one fucking comment about the CO to Jenkins.
:'''Murphy:''' Uh huh, that's great.
:'''Scully:''' And the next thing you know, I'm out on patrol. ''[Murphy is suddenly pulled up from his neck by a rope]'' Jenkins gets my terminal duty. And I get to freeze my ass off out here with... ''[Sees that Murphy has disappeared]'' Murphy? Come on, Murphy. Hey where are ya? Murph? Stop messing around, Murph. ''[Draws his pistol]'' Murph.
:'''Voice:''' Yeah, in here. Thought I heard something.
:'''Scully:''' ''[Holsters his pistol]'' Oh yeah? Whatcha hear? A ghost? ''[Chuckles to himself]''
:''[Scully looks down and sees a pool of blood on the floor. He looks up and sees Murphy hanging from above, dead]''
:'''South:''' ''[Using a voice modulator to sound like Murphy]'' Yeah, I guess you could say something like that. ''[Hits Scully in the neck and knocks him off the platform to his death]''

===Chapter 3: Number One===
*'''North:''' Well, out of the frying pan and into the fire.
:'''South:''' Huh, think I can take about 50 of them. How about you?
:'''North:''' How about you save your jokes until we get out of this?
:'''South:''' Where the hell is extraction!?
:'''Demo Man:''' Attention, assholes! Stand down, you're surrounded! Give us the data file now! You will be taken into custody! We can either do this the easy way or the hard way! There is no escape so give us the damn data file!
:''[&quot;Number One&quot;/Carolina sneaks behind the soldiers, camouflaged in the background. She then attacks the soldiers. She grabs the turret and shoots a support beam, causing the platform, and the soldiers standing on it, to fall]''
:'''North:''' Get down! ''[Grabs South and shields her with his body]'' Son of a bitch.
:'''South:''' What's going on?
:'''North:''' It's her.
:'''South:''' What? What's she doing here?
:''[Carolina kicks the turret, causing it to spin around and kill the soldiers. She then backflips down to North and South with her armor changing from black to light blue]''
:'''Carolina:''' OK, my turn.

*'''Donut:''' How about I just wound him? Then he can still talk and I get to shoot him. That's a win-win.
:'''Church:''' Not for me, I get shot!
:'''Simmons:''' OK, how about this? Donut gets to shoot you in exchange for you getting to say what you need to say.
:'''Donut:''' Five minutes of talking for one shot. Where do you want it, Blue? The shoulder or the foot?
:'''Church:''' Well, obviously I would pick the foot, but I don't want you guys to shoot me in-
:'''Donut:''' Deal. ''[Fires his pistol, fade to black]''
:'''Church:''' OW! SON OF A BITCH!
:'''Donut:''' OK. Your five minutes have started. Go.

===Chapter 4: Evacuation Plan===
*'''Donut:''' I've heard just about all I want out of this guy.
:'''Church:''' Uh, I'm leaving, but just remember, this isn't the way things are meant to be. You know it and I know it. Donut, you're a nice guy. You're not a jerk. Try expressing yourself a little bit. You know, like, start keeping a... uh... journal or a diary or something like that.
:'''Donut:''' ''[Clearing his throat]'' A what?
:'''Church:''' Never mind, never mind, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. I'm gonna limp home now. OK? ''[Staggers away]'' Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
:'''Sarge:''' The nerve of that guy. He's just trying to get in our heads.

*'''479'er:''' Things are about to get-
:'''Carolina:''' Bumpy?
:'''479'er:''' Yeah, bumpy. I was going to say &quot;crashy&quot; but that works too.

===Chapter 5: Realignment===
*'''Church:''' ''[Staggering back to Blue Base]'' Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
:'''Caboose:''' Church! You're home! Welcome back.
:'''Church:''' Yeah, yeah, thanks for helping me while the Reds just shoot me in the god damn foot!
:'''Caboose:''' Yeah, well, you told us to stay out of the cliff and I did! Yeah, I was helping.
:'''Church:''' Oh, really? Then why aren't you on the cliff right now?
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, I thought the helping part was over.
:'''Church:''' ''[Staggers off]'' Ow. Ow. Ow. Assholes... Ow.

*'''Tucker:''' Caboose, you're not allowed to use the radio!
:'''Caboose:''' Right, unless it's an emergency. And then I can use it to call Command. And also 800 numbers I see on TV. Because those are free to call.
:'''Church:''' 800 numbers?
:'''Tucker:''' Damn it, Caboose, what did you order this time?
:'''Caboose:''' Nothing.
:'''Tucker:''' Caboose...
:'''Caboose:''' I promise you'll not see anything show up here that I ordered, nothing at all. For at least six to eight weeks.
:'''Tucker:''' Damn it.
:'''Church:''' What the hell is he talking about!?
:'''Caboose:''' Well, you sound upset. You probably want some beef jerky. It'll be ready in six to eight weeks.
:'''Tucker:''' You ordered a food dehydrator, didn't you?
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, you won't be so mad when we are storing ''twice'' as much ammo as we normally can.
:'''Tucker:''' For the billionth time, Caboose, you can't dehydrate bullets!
:'''Church:''' You actually order all those stupid gadgets that you see on TV?
:'''Caboose:''' Maybe... sometimes...

===Chapter 6: Familiar Feelings===
*'''Donut:''' Wow, guys! Your robot is looking great!
:'''Sarge:''' Thanks. I didn't even know I was good with machines. You know what they say, &quot;necessity is the mother of-&quot;
:'''Donut:''' Hey Sarge, can I ask you about something?
:'''Sarge:''' Sure. Go ahead.
:'''Donut:''' Um, in private?
:'''Simmons:''' Oh, sure, um, yeah, I get it. Don't want me around? That's fine. No big deal. I mean, you don't talk about me, right? Heh heh, you're not talking about me?
:'''Donut:''' Be right back, Simmons.
:'''Simmons:''' ''[Quietly]'' Sure you will. That's just what my dad said.

*'''Caboose:''' I had a girlfriend once.
:'''Tucker:''' Nobody cares.
:'''Caboose:''' I met her on the internet.
:'''Tucker:''' Oh man, your girlfriend was a dude.
:'''Caboose:''' Her name was Emailia. She would send me letters all the time.
:'''Tucker:''' Sounds high maintenance.
:'''Caboose:''' Letters from my family, letters about stuff I ordered online, even about investment opportunities in other countries.
:'''Tucker:''' What? Dude, I don't think your girlfriend's name was Emailia, I think it was Email. I'm pretty sure you fell in love with your email.
:'''Caboose:''' She was always there for me, until I forgot our special word.
:'''Tucker:''' You mean your password?
:'''Caboose:''' ''[Sadly]'' She never forgave me.
:'''Tucker:''' Well, I guess you should have made out with her sister, Voicemailia.
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, she talked too much, and she always blinked at me.

===Chapter 7: Case File 01.045===
*'''Washington:''' It wasn't your fault, Connie.
:'''Connecticut:''' Easy for you to say. You didn't drop the ball.
:'''Washington:''' The ball got dropped. We were all there, it's everyone's responsibility.
:'''Connecticut:''' Damn it, why are you doing that?
:'''Washington:''' What am I doing?
:'''Connecticut:''' Making excuses for me. I'm not making excuses for myself. Why are you?
:'''Washington:''' I'm trying to make you feel better.
:'''Connecticut:''' Yeah? Great. Hey, why don't you go make Carolina feel better? Go pat Maine on the head. See how that works out for you.
:'''Washington:''' We all make mistakes.
:'''Connecticut:''' NO! We don't! ''[Faces Washington]'' That's the point! We don't all make mistakes! Some of us very specifically make mistakes and others don't seem to make ''any'' mistakes at all!
:'''Washington:''' Connie, come on.
:'''Connecticut:''' That's why they're doing all this! These missions, the rankings! They're drawing a line between us, Wash! And you're either on one side of that line or you're on the other! ''[Sadly]'' It's getting pretty god damn clear which side I'm on.
:'''Washington:''' No one thinks like that. We're a team.
:'''Connecticut:''' I'm not talking about you guys. I mean them. ''Him''.
:'''Washington:''' The Director? He's given us everything. He's helping us.
:'''Connecticut:''' Helping us? Wake up. Wake the fuck up! He's filtering us! This is a selection process, Wash! I don't know for what but... if you're not on the top of that board, you're not worth anything to him!
:'''Washington:''' You're just overreacting. You've always been hard on yourself, Connie.
:'''Connecticut:''' Not as hard as they are. ''[Hands Washington her helmet]'' Not nearly as hard as they're going to be. And don't call me &quot;Connie&quot;. It makes me sound like a fucking kid. Call me C.T.. ''[Walks off]'' Oh, and that line I talked about? You'd better hurry up and figure out what side you're on, Agent Washington. Before they figure it out for you.

*'''Church:''' Getting bored here.
:'''Tucker:''' OK, then let's do some roleplaying. I'll give you critiques on your approach.
:'''Church:''' Roleplaying?
:'''Tucker:''' Yeah. Caboose, you play the girl.
:'''Church:''' You want Caboose to be the woman?
:'''Tucker:''' Dude, it's a lot bigger stretch for you to play a man. Trust me.
:'''Caboose:''' Um, OK. What should I say?
:'''Tucker:''' Just say whatever a girl would say.
:'''Caboose:''' O-OK, um... I, uh, just really want to meet someone nice. Um, you know, someone who appreciates me for who I am. Not so much because I'm pretty but because they really want to get to know me because they want to find out what my interests are. Then we can spend time exploring the world together and sharing all the wonderful things in life that make it wonderful.
:''[Church and Tucker stare at Caboose for a few seconds]''
:'''Tucker:''' What!? Do you know girls at all? Talk about how much you like shoes!
:'''Church:''' Yeah, and about reality TV shows!
:'''Tucker:''' Church, you start. just hit on Caboose. Caboose, act like you like Church.
:'''Caboose:''' I've been preparing for this role my whole life.
:'''Tucker:''' Shut up.

===Chapter 8: Shaking the Foundation===
*'''Simmons:''' ''[Working on the fully built Lopez]'' There! Man, that safety switch was hard to bolt on. Probably should've gotten a bigger one.
:'''Donut:''' It's not how big the switch is, Simmons. It's how you flip it!
:'''Simmons:''' Donut, shut up!

*'''Tucker:''' Woah, there's another quake!
:'''Church:''' Yep.
:'''Tucker:''' You don't seem too worried.
:'''Church:''' No, I'm not. Because I know all of this isn't real.
:'''Tucker:''' Not real? You mean not real like your fake girlfriend?

===Chapter 9: Captive Audience===
*'''Grif:''' Man, the new robot really seems to be fitting in around here.
:'''Simmons:''' Yeah, I noticed...
:'''Grif:''' He's pretty popular.
:'''Simmons:''' Awesome...
:'''Donut:''' Yeah, even though no one understands him, people seem to really want to get past the rough, robotic exterior and get to know the inner Lopez.
:'''Simmons:''' ''[Sarcastic]'' Soooo happy for him...
:'''Donut:''' Me too. Wait, was that sarcastic?
:'''Grif:''' Yeah, dude, I have to admit, that one was off the charts even for my sarcastic meter.

*'''Church:''' OK, OK, it's like when a computer tries to solve a problem, do you know what recursion is?
:'''Caboose:''' Yeah, I love that movie.
:'''Church:''' No, no, it's like-it's like a thing where a computer tries a number of different iterations to solve a problem, then when it gets to the end, it returns all those solutions back up the line to the first iteration, and then it has its solution. Does that make sense?
:'''Tucker:''' You're saying you're a computer?
:'''Church:''' No no no, actually-actually yes, yeah, sort of, I actually- I am... a computer... kind of, I'm a computer program.
:'''Tucker:''' But your foot was bleeding.
:'''Caboose:''' And your breath kind of stinks. You know, I wasn't going to say anything before but, you know, since we're... all telling the truth about each other.
:'''Tucker:''' Caboose, you're an idiot!
:'''Caboose:''' Well, I didn't realize how much words could hurt until it was my turn. I don't think I want to play this honesty game anymore.
:'''Church:''' No, I'm a real person in here because this is all constructed by memories of the person that I'm based on. Same as me, I'm all the memories of that guy.
:'''Tucker:''' Who was that?
:'''Church:''' It's another program called Alpha, who was... kind of a dick. And he was based on a guy named the Director. Who was... also kind of a dick.
:'''Tucker:''' Well, I can see you're continuing the grand tradition.
:'''Church:''' Yeah, I'm very proud.
:'''Tucker:''' It's quite a lineage.

===Chapter 10: Introductions===
*'''North:''' Hey, Wash, wait up. listen, I hear you've had a meeting with internals.
:'''Washington:''' Oh, you did?
:'''North:''' Yeah, do you mind if I ask what it was about?
:'''Washington:''' Hmm, not really supposed to talk about that.
:'''North:''' Help me out here. I'm still getting heat about using equipment in the field.
:'''Washington:''' You did? Really? Without a pipeline back to the command server?
:'''North:''' I improvise. We had a problem.
:'''Washington:''' Let me guess. Are you related to the problem?
:'''North:''' OK, now ''I'' don't want to talk about it.
:'''Washington:''' Equipment in the field... Now don't forget what happened to Utah during training, you're lucky it didn't kill you.
:'''North:''' If I was lucky, I wouldn't have needed to use it at all.
:'''Washington:''' Well, you can relax. Internals didn't ask about you. It was something else. Lots of questions about the Insurrection and transmissions coming out of our... uh-
:''[Several soldiers in white armor run past them. One of them clips Washington's shoulder]''
:'''Soldier:''' Sorry, sir!
:'''Washington:''' Hey, what's going on? Soldier, where is everybody running?
:'''Soldier:''' New agent. He's squaring off against Maine, Wyoming and York on the training room floor. We're going to watch! Hey, guys, wait up!
:'''Washington:''' Three on one? I've gotta see this.
:'''North:''' Yeah, right behind you.

===Chapter 11: Lifting the Veil===
*'''South:''' Can't believe she did that to him.
:'''Maine:''' ''[Lashes out at a medic]'' Get off me!
:'''South:''' Shot his armour, sacrificed him...
:'''Washington:''' Lockdown hardens the armour. She probably saved his life.
:'''North:''' Quick thinking.
:'''Carolina:''' Yeah... ''Really'' quick...

*'''Lopez:''' Ustedes deberían dejarme investigar este fenómeno sísmico. [You people should let me investigate this seismic phenomenon.]
:'''Grif:''' Yeah, okay, buddy, whatever you say. Hey, you missed a spot.
:'''Lopez:''' Al menos todos moriremos con un vehículo limpio. [At least we'll all die with a clean vehicle.]
:''[Sarge walks up to the duo]''
:'''Grif:''' Heh, heh, you said it. Now come on, chop, chop. Back to work buddy. Lets hear less talk I don't understand and see more work I don't want to do.
:'''Sarge:''' How's it going out here?
:'''Grif:''' Great. The jeep has never been so clean.
:'''Sarge:''' That's because you're not the one cleaning it!
:'''Grif:''' Good point. You know, Sarge, all this time the laziness in me, its been really underutilized. I never reached my full potential. I just realized, I should be in management!
:'''Sarge:''' You do seem like a natural.
:'''Grif:''' It's the best job ever. You just tell people what to do, and they do it. And if you don't have anything for them to do, you just tell them to do something they did before, but do it better this time. I've got it all figured out.
:'''Sarge:''' How about you get busy helping with that jeep then?
:'''Grif:''' I'm sorry, what? I'm on break.

===Chapter 12: Mid-Game Substitution===
*'''Lopez:''' Estoy tomando su lugar en el equipo Rojo. [I am taking your place on Red Team.]
:'''Simmons:''' Why is my body speaking Spanish? Oh no. Did I go to Mexican Heaven by mistake? That's like white people Hell!
:'''Lopez:''' No. Reemplazándote es la única manera de que obtenga acceso al equipo que requiero para estudiar estos terremotos. [No. Replacing you is the only way I can get access to the equipment I need to research these quakes.]
:'''Simmons:''' I knew it! You just wanted to become super popular so you take my place!
:'''Lopez:''' No tendría que ser súper popular para hacer eso. [I wouldn't need to be super popular to do that.]
:'''Simmons:''' You're gonna regret this, Lopez.
:'''Lopez:''' ''[Leaving the cave]'' No veo como. [I don't see how.]
:'''Simmons:''' We'll all regret this!
:'''Lopez:''' ¡Eso ni siquiera tuvo sentido! [That didn't even make sense!]

===Chapter 14: Son of a bitch===
*'''North:''' Alright Bravo, lets move out. We have 3 minutes until first alert. Lets have our target in hand by 2.
:''[Team A enters the building. Washington and Maine are on look out]''
:'''Carolina:''' We're in. York, get up here. How long to crack that lock?
:'''York:''' Should take about 60 seconds. You can give me 15.
:''[The camera zooms in on the lock]''
:'''York:''' Wow. Is that holographic? That's high-end.
:'''Carolina:''' Can you get through it?
:'''York:''' Of course I can. You didn't bring me along for my good looks, did you? Whoever designed this is a genius.
:''[An alarm sounds]''
:'''Carolina:''' You were saying?
:'''York:''' Ok, I take it back, whoever designed this is an asshole. There!
:''[York successfully picks the lock, opening the door]''
:'''York:''' Everybody in.
:'''Carolina:''' Thanks York, but do something about that alarm system. We don't need anymore surprises.
:'''York:''' Does saying sorry count as something?
:''[Carolina glares at York]''
:'''York:''' Hmm. Guess not.
:'''Carolina:''' We'll secure the package. Set some trackers, then find us a way out of this. ''[Enters the vault with Washington and Maine]''
:'''York:''' Moving. ''[Leaves]''

===Chapter 15: The Sarcophagus===
*'''Carolina:''' Alright everyone, spread out. What we need is here somewhere. It's probably something small, easy to miss. Take as many scans as possible, there may be other things we can use.
:''[Maine picks up a Brute Shot as Washington walks past]''
:'''Washington:''' ''[Seeing Maine with his new Brute Shot]'' That's a good look.
:'''Maine:''' ''[Growls in agreement]''
:''[Cut to York contacting Carolina on the radio]''
:'''York:''' Carolina, motion trackers indicate we've got an enemy team outside the door.
:''[Cut to Carolina in the other room with Maine and Washington]''
:'''Carolina:''' Well, let's hope they're not as good at picking locks as you are, York. Alright, team, we're about to have company!

*'''Carolina:''' Maine, this should work fine. You're the only one heavy enough to counter-balance.
:'''Maine:''' Too high.
:'''Carolina:''' Oh, don't be a baby! ''[Kicks Maine out the window]''

*'''Washington:''' ''[After firing a Fuel Rod Cannon at the Insurrectionist with the flamethrower]'' What the hell? It bounces? Who designs a gun that bounces? This is the worst gun ever. Of all-- ''[Carolina pushes him out of the way from the oncoming fire]''

===Chapter 17: Spiral===
*'''Carolina:''' Nice work, Maine.
:'''Maine:''' ''[Puts the briefcase on his back]'' Thanks.
:'''York:''' Yup, subtle as always. The Response Team is probably on the way.

===Chapter 20: Hate To Say Goodbye===
*'''Simmons:''' Caboose is... God? I guess that makes sense now that I think about it. Sure explains the fuck out of the Platypus.

*'''Church:''' Damn it! Why!? Why did you do it!?
:'''Caboose:''' Church, you're alive! Yeah, I knew it! Yeah, I told them! Yeah, she was right! Yeah, we could get you out!
:'''Sarge:''' Alright then. We're square, blue. We helped you get your shiny blue buddy out, so that makes us-
:'''Church:''' What are you doing here!?
:'''Caboose:''' Same as you! We found you in the place where they were keeping you, we travelled a really, really long way to come to this place and fought a bunch of people, and then fought a bunch of more people, and then we got you and took you and saved you in the end!
:'''Church:''' But why would you do that!? WHY!?
:'''Sarge:''' Well, clearly, it wasn't to hear &quot;thank you&quot;.
:'''Grif:''' ''[Off-screen]'' Hey, we're taking fire out here!
:'''Church:''' ''Thank you!?'' You fucked everything up! I was at peace! I had it figured out! It was over! Put me back!
:'''Sarge:''' Put you back? Buddy, we just fought through an entire military base to reach you! And now you want to go back!?
:'''Church:''' YES!
:'''Caboose:''' She said we need you! She was the one who knew how to get you out!
:'''Church:''' &quot;She&quot;? Who-who are you talking about? Tex? The real Tex?
:'''Caboose:''' Tex? No, no, not Tex. The new lady.
:'''Church:''' New lady?
:''[Carolina enters]''
:'''Carolina:''' Hey there, Alpha. Been looking for you for a long time.
:'''Church:''' Oh no...
:'''Carolina:''' Now that I've found you, you're gonna help me do what I should have done years ago. You're gonna help me kill the Director.

==Season 10==
===Chapter 1: Revenants===
*'''Stu Stuman:''' And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, from the far distant system of San Helios, I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly, the bad boys of Grifball, Team Heretic! And your home playing favorites, Slipspace!
:''[The monitor showing the sports event goes haywire. Delta appears and startles the sleeping insurrectionist in the chair]''
:'''Delta:''' I hate to intrude, but you have not performed any work in the past 13 minutes and 42 seconds. That strikes me as rather inefficient.
:'''Insurrectionist:''' Oh, uh, sorry, I was just trying to, uh, yeah, how... how do you get a new window? You know, like the, you know, like a new window, that's the button thing for that, you know?
:'''Delta:''' I believe the keys you are looking for are Alt, Tab.
:'''Insurrectionist:''' Oh yeah, thanks, little guy. Wait, who are you? You don't look like the normal holo-projection.
:'''Delta:''' That is because I am the A.I. designated as Delta, from Project Freelancer.
:'''Insurrectionist:''' Wait, you're ''Project'' Freelancer? Wait, aren't those the bad guys?
:'''Delta:''' There is no need for name calling. I submit that Project Freelancer is neither good nor bad, much like your own forces. We are merely two groups dedicated to obtaining different results.
:'''Insurrectionist:''' Whoa, man, that's... that's deep. It's like... it's like there's different universes but you know there's-
:''[York grabs the back of the Insurrectionist's head]''
:'''York:''' Don't encourage him. He's already long-winded as it is. ''[Slams the Insurrectionist's head into the desk]''

*'''Church:''' Washington? Why are you wearing blue armor? Why are you wearing ''my'' armor?
:'''Washington:''' Oh... um...
:'''Caboose:''' Oh... yeah, yeah...
:'''Washington:''' They sort of used me to... replace you... on Blue Team...
:'''Church:''' Replace me?
:'''Caboose:''' I wouldn't really use the word &quot;replace&quot;, but there's no word for &quot;take over for you and make everything better almost immediately&quot;, so we just say &quot;replace&quot;.
:'''Church:''' When did this happen!?
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, do you remember when you went into the memory unit and then everyone was sad?
:'''Church:''' Yeah?
:'''Caboose:''' It was right after that.
:'''Church:''' Right after I left!?
:'''Caboose:''' Well, it wasn't right after, but you know, it was like... five or... ten seconds.
:'''Church:''' You've gotta be kidding me.
:'''Caboose:''' Life is short, Epsilon. We had to move on.
:'''Church:''' I think I just got dumped by Caboose. This is un-fucking-believable!
:'''Caboose:''' Yeah, it's... it's not me. It's you.
:'''Washington:''' Epsilon, they just needed to even the teams, it's really not--
:'''Church:''' Hey, would you guys stop calling me &quot;Epsilon&quot;? I'm Church now.
:'''Caboose:''' Oh, um, we sort of call the new guy &quot;Church&quot;... you know... sometimes...
:'''Church:''' What?
:'''Washington:''' Caboose just finds it easier, the armor color confuses him, as do a lot of things.
:'''Church:''' Let me get this straight, Agent Washington. You took my name too?
:'''Washington:''' It's only in certain circumstances.
:'''Caboose:''' Like when we talk to him, or need to fill out paperwork, or sing &quot;Happy Birthday&quot; to him.
:'''Church:''' YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!
:'''Sarge:''' Well, this is awkward. You know, I think the quickest solution would be a good old fashioned thinning of the ranks with my trusty shotgun. Any takers?
:'''Washington:''' Er, we're fine.
:'''Sarge:''' Well, it was worth a shot. You win this round, Blue. ''[Quietly]'' But I'll be back...

===Chapter 2: Heavy Metal===
:'''Washington:''' Why do cars hate me?

===Chapter 3: Follow the Leader===
*'''Carolina:''' OK, everyone load up! Nav-points are in your HUDs, alternate Navs uploaded to your secondary objectives! Sync!
:''[Beat]''
:'''Carolina:''' ''Sync!''
:'''Washington:''' Oh, uh, right! Everyone, just say &quot;sync&quot; whenever she says that.
:'''Tucker:''' Oh... sync?
:'''Caboose:''' Refrigerator!
:'''Carolina:''' You guys not used to getting orders?
:'''Grif:''' Oh, we're used to getting them alright. We just aren't used to doing much with them.
:'''Carolina:''' We're retreating!
:'''Simmons:''' Oh! OK, yeah! That's usually step one in most of our plans! Sync!
:'''Caboose:''' Easy-bake oven!
:'''Carolina:''' ''[Sighing]'' Let's just go.

===Chapter 4: Turbulence===
*'''Carolina:''' What's going on? Why are we stopping?
:'''Grif:''' We've been driving for hours.
:'''Carolina:''' And we've got a lot more ground to cover. So, let's keep moving!
:'''Grif''': Listen, lady, I know this is your first road trip with us, but we've got a system. And that system includes snack breaks, bathroom breaks and stopping to take pictures of funny road signs.
:'''Carolina:''' That's ridiculous!
:'''Grif:''' Not as ridiculous as Bonner Street.
:'''Simmons:''' ''[Sighs]'' So close, dude. So close.
:'''Grif:''' It's out there, Simmons. We just have to have faith that we'll find it.
:'''Washington:''' I should probably go stop her from killing your friend.
:'''Caboose:''' Um, Tucker, I just noticed something. Something really bad.
:'''Tucker:''' Yeah, me too, dude. I think our guy to girl ratio peaked like five years ago.
:'''Caboose:''' Uh, n-no, Tucker, um... yeah, we... we forgot to bring Church.
:'''Tucker:''' Wait, did you just now realize that Church isn't here?
:'''Caboose:''' He's not gonna be pleased about this one.
:'''Tucker:''' Calm down, moron! We didn't leave him behind!
:'''Caboose:''' Ah, yes, but you see, I'm not seeing him, so... where is he?
:'''Church:''' ''[Appearing as a small blue hologram]'' Ugh... you don't want to know.
:'''Caboose:''' CHURCH! And you're... you're so small. I would like to feed you a small cracker.
:'''Tucker:''' How are you liking the new place, Tinkerbelle?
:'''Church:''' You mean your disgusting storage unit?
:'''Tucker:''' What!? How is my storage unit disgusting?
:'''Church:''' Well, for starters, I had to delete 50 gigs worth of crap just so I could fit in this thing.
:'''Tucker:''' Woah, hang on a second, dude. You didn't delete my, uh, &quot;Home Movies&quot; folder, did you?
:'''Church:''' And that brings me to my second point.
:'''Carolina:''' ''[Watching the conversation]'' What a bunch of worthless idiots.
:'''Washington:''' Yeah, they're idiots, but they're not that bad. Once you get to know 'em.
:'''Carolina:''' Hm.
:'''Washington:''' You know, we almost managed to trap the Meta the last time we were here.
:'''Carolina:''' But you didn't. ''[Walks off]''
:'''Washington:''' No. I guess not.

===Chapter 5: The New Kid===
*'''North''': It's alright, Theta. Come on out. People just want to say hello to you.
:'''Theta''': ''[Hiding behind North's leg]'' I don't know. There's so many of them. And they're so... big.
:'''Washington''': You see? I'm not the only one who thinks size is important.
:'''York''': I'm just gonna let that one go.
:'''North''': It's OK, Theta. They're all friends of mine. For reasons beyond my comprehension.
:'''Theta''': They're looking at me.
:'''North''': That's because they want to meet you. This is York and Wash.
:'''Washington''': Hey there, little... computer... dude...
:'''York''': Give it a rest, Wash.

*'''Grif''': Sarge, how come every time the Blues get involved in something stupid and dangerous, we get dragged along too?
:'''Sarge''': You know what they say, &quot;keep your friends close, and your enemies within range of your primary firearm!&quot;
:'''Simmons''': Sir, I realize-
:'''Sarge''': &quot;So you can shoot 'em!&quot;

===Chapter 6: What's the &quot;I&quot; Stand For?===
*'''Tucker:''' That's it, I'm doing it!
:'''Church:''' Tucker!
:'''Tucker:''' BOW-CHICKA-BOW--'''WOAH!''' ''[Ducks to avoid Carolina shooting at him]'' Same team, same team!

*'''Sigma:''' I would like to say just how appreciative the two of us are for Carolina's sacrifice. Agent Carolina, if anyone can excel without an A.I. Unit, it is you.
:'''Carolina:''' Thank you, Sigma.
:'''Sigma:''' And Agent Texas, of course. That goes without saying.
:'''South:''' Right. I notice she doesn't have to attend class.

===Chapter 7: Oversight===
*'''North:''' ''[Watching a Fireworks display by Theta]'' That's really great, Theta!
:'''Theta:''' Thank you. I worked super hard on it.
:''[South walks past carrying a tray]''
:'''York:''' Hey, Theta. You mind if I talk to North for a second?
:'''Theta:''' Uh... OK.
:'''York:''' Need you to shut down, OK? Delta too. You know, it's the rules. ''[Delta Disappears]''
:'''Theta:''' North?
:'''North:''' It'll be OK. I won't talk too long.
:'''Theta:''' Alright. ''[Disappears]''
:'''North:''' What's up?
:'''York:''' I need to ask you about something.
:'''North:''' OK, shoot.
:'''York:''' I need to ask you about the Alpha.
:'''North:''' Where did you hear that word?
:'''York:''' Same place you heard it. Up here. ''[Points to his brain]''
:'''Washington:''' ''[Holding a cup with a straw in it]'' What's an Alpha?
:'''York:''' Wash, are you eating inside your helmet?
:'''Washington:''' Maybe. Delta says they got the helmet waste disposal out of Beta. That would make my eating more efficient.
:'''York:''' ''[Chuckles]'' You believe that? Maybe he is getting more personable.
:'''North:''' It's not ''an'' Alpha, Wash, it's ''the'' Alpha. Theta thinks about him a lot. More than &quot;thinks&quot; really, he's obsessed.
:'''York:''' Delta too. You know all these units call each other &quot;Brother&quot;? They call this one &quot;Father&quot;. No, that's not right.
:'''North:''' Creator.
:'''York:''' Yeah.
:'''Washington:''' ''[Holding a banana]'' I thought the Director would be their creator.
:'''York:''' Haven't you been paying any attention in class? AIs aren't created. They're copies of something.
:'''North:''' But our AIs are just fragments.
:'''York:''' Which begs the question, where's the original?
:'''Washington:''' So this Alpha thing is what creates our fragments.
:'''York:''' Jesus, will you swallow, for God's sake!?
:'''Washington:''' ''[Swallows, then produces an apple]'' It creates them?
:'''North:''' Yeah, Theta isn't clear. It creates them or something.
:'''York:''' Yeah. It's the &quot;or something&quot; part that has me worried.

===Chapter 8: Fall From Heaven===
*'''Tucker:''' Man, where was this chick back when we had that awesome tank? Bitches love tanks!
:'''Church:''' I don't get it! What is she looking for?
:'''Tucker:''' You tell me. I don't know half of what's happening these days. You found me here, remember?
:'''Church:''' Oh, yeah! You were actually kind of a badass that time.
:'''Tucker:''' Dude, I'm kind of a badass all the time. You guys just happened to notice it then.
:'''Caboose:''' Ah, that's not true. I never noticed it.
:'''Church:''' Look, the point is, she's not telling us everything. I just don't understand why.
:'''Tucker:''' Who knows, man? I've tried everything I can to get some info out of her. I tried hitting on her, I tried sleeping with her, I tried making out with her...
:'''Church:''' Sounds like a complete effort.
:'''Tucker:''' Dude, no kidding. I used the whole playbook. I even used my best pick-up line: &quot;Hey, baby. Did you fall from Heaven? 'cause I've always wanted to bone an angel!&quot;
:'''Church:''' Tucker, be honest. Have you ever had sex with anything besides an alien?
:'''Tucker:''' Church, the more important question here is do you know any girls who aren't complete bitches who won't sleep with me?
:'''Church:''' ''[Chuckles]'' Sorry, dude, that seems to be all I have in my life.
:'''Tucker:''' ''[Sighs]'' You're like the worst wingman ever.
:'''Caboose:''' Of all time.

*'''Sigma:''' Agent Maine, isn't that the soldier from the freeway? The one that shot you in the throat?
:'''Maine:''' ''[Growls angrily]''
:'''Sigma:''' I thought so. Sic 'em!

===Chapter 9: Fighting Fire===
*'''Sigma:''' Hello, gentlemen.
:'''York:''' Hey, Sig. You sure he's good to fight so soon? He was hurt pretty bad.
:'''Sigma:''' As compared to whom, Agent York? You two don't look so good yourselves. ''[Delta appears]'' Hello, brother.
:'''Delta:''' Sigma. Protocol dictates that A.I. units are not to communicate directly with each-
:'''Sigma:''' Protocol is just another way of saying rules, Delta. Remember what the Director says. There are no rules on the battlefield. Besides, we A.I. should really stick together. Excuse me, I'll be right back. ''[Disappears]''
:'''York:''' I'll be honest. That one kind of gives me the creeps.
:'''Washington:''' Yeah, I hear you. Come on, let's move.

*'''Sarge:''' Attention, Blue Team! We would like to propose a temporary truce so that we may discuss our current situation! Do you accept?
:'''Church:''' I don't get it. Does he still think we're fighting or something?
:'''Caboose:''' Maybe it's a trap.
:'''Tucker:''' I doubt they're smart enough to think of that. But then again, neither are you.
:'''Caboose:''' How do you know that? Are you in with them?
:'''Church:''' ''[Clears throat]'' Yes! We accept!
:'''Tucker:''' So what's up?
:'''Sarge:''' It's our mutual friend slash enemy slash companion. Or &quot;Friendenemapanion&quot; for short.

*'''Simmons:''' Hey, Caboose. You were the one who put Epsilon in that floating alien ball thing, right?
:'''Caboose:''' Hover-Church can also solve crimes.
:'''Simmons:''' Well, how would you feel about putting him in something a little... different?
:''[The Blood Gulch Crew look at Carolina's Mongoose]''
:'''Church:''' Oh, fuck you guys.
:'''Caboose:''' You are gonna solve so many crimes!

*'''Carolina:''' ''[Taking cover from a pair of Chain Gunners]'' Wyoming, move up!
:'''Wyoming:''' With all due respect, I prefer not to be killed, if at all possible.
:'''Carolina:''' York! Got any ideas?
:'''York:''' I don't know. Have we got any nukes?
:'''Carolina:''' You mean besides the one I'm going to drop on Wyoming if he doesn't move THE HELL '''UP!'''
:'''Wyoming:''' Yes, I can see everything just fine from back here, thank you.
:'''Carolina:''' We need to get into that bunker. That's where C.T. and their leader are holed up.
:'''Washington:''' How are we gonna get through all of this?
:'''Wyoming:''' So far, we're not.
:'''York:''' Maybe Wyoming should try one of his &quot;knock knock&quot; jokes.
:'''Wyoming:''' Uh, who's there?
:'''York:''' Nobody, stop.
:'''Wyoming:''' Nobody stop who? Can I go on?
:'''York:''' Yeah, I was kidding, now shut up.
:'''Wyoming:''' Shut up who?
:'''Carolina:''' Both of you shut up.

===Chapter 10: C.T.===
*'''Texas:''' Quiet. That woman is guarded by turrets.
:'''Carolina:''' I can get past them.
:'''Texas:''' If there was a way to do it, I would have already done it.

*'''Carolina:''' Don't forget our objective. We're just here to retrieve the armor.
:'''Texas:''' Carolina, I know what the fucking objective is!

*'''Washington:''' So ''that's'' what happened to her armor.
:'''Carolina:''' Apparently. We never did complete our objective.
:'''Washington:''' But why come out here? What's the motivation?
:'''Carolina:''' ''[Picks up the data]'' I have a feeling this will tell us.

===Chapter 11: Out of Body===
*'''Tucker:''' So, uh, how do you feel?
:'''Church:''' ''[Possessing Carolina's Mongoose]'' I feel like running over each and every one of you.
:'''Tucker:''' So pretty much the same as before.
:'''Church:''' Yeah, pretty much.
:'''Grif:''' Y'know, Simmons, I think I'm gonna let ''you'' call &quot;shotgun&quot; on this one.
:'''Simmons:''' Fuck that!
:''[Church's AI form appears in the Mongoose's windshield]''
:'''Church:''' Man, this sucks!
:'''Tucker:''' What are you complaining about? You've finally got your own body.
:'''Church:''' My own body? Tucker, I'm a fucking Tonka Truck!
:'''Tucker:''' OK, yeah, but you could ''literally'' pick up chicks with this thing!
:'''Church:''' ''[Sarcastic]'' Oh yeah, because every girl just dreams about settling down with Optimus Prime-- '''HONK!'''
:''[Church flashes as the Mongoose's horn goes off]''
:'''Church:''' ''[Irritated]'' Caboose! Don't do that.
:'''Caboose:''' Sorry.

*'''Grif:''' Well Sarge, You've always wanted to watch a Blue die. Looks like you're going to get your wish after all.
:'''Sarge:''' Actually, Grif, it's always been my wish to watch ''you'' die.
:'''Grif:''' Oh right.
:'''Sarge:''' Yep. Every night after you boys would retire to your bunks, I would climb up to the top of the base and just wait. Hoping I would see a shooting star. So that I could wish for your violent, and unbearably painful demise.
:'''Grif:''' OK, you can stop now.
:'''Sarge:''' I even had a little jingle to go along with it.
:'''Grif:''' Please don't.
:'''Sarge:''' ''[Singing to the tune of &quot;When You Wish Upon a Star&quot;]'' ''#I just wish that Grif was dead!#''
:'''Grif:''' I hate you.
:'''Sarge and Simmons:''' ''[Singing]'' ''#Put a bullet-#''
:'''Simmons:''' ''#-through his head!#''
:'''Grif:''' What the- Simmons!? How do you know that song!?
:'''Simmons:''' Oh, it's been in my dreams for years! Now it all makes sense! Oh, thank God!
:'''Grif:''' What!?
:'''Simmons:''' I thought I was crazy when I woke up with that rifle in my hand!
:'''Sarge:''' ''[Chuckles]'' Well, ain't that the power of music!
:'''Grif:''' Simmons, why didn't you tell me about this!?
:'''Simmons:''' Shut up, it wasn't even loaded.

===Chapter 12: Out of Mind===
*'''Carolina:''' I don't understand. These are more than memories.
:'''Church:''' His journal entries were part of the data that Wash recovered and he stored them in his personal file. Which just so happened to be one of the many folders that yours truly picked up the last time I visited a Freelancer facility. Not bad for a rag tag idiot if I do say so myself. Feel free to start begging for my forgiveness whenever you feel like it, Carolina.
:'''Carolina:''' Not happening.
:'''Church:''' What? Seriously?
:'''Carolina:''' But, I will beg you.
:'''Church:''' Yeah, well, I'm pretty great.

*'''Carolina:''' Well, you'll have plenty of time on our ride back.
:'''Church:''' About that, hey, is there any way we can get back to the others that doesn't involve me carrying you?
:'''Carolina:''' ''[Chuckles]'' Wow, Church. I didn't know an A.I. Unit could get so easily embarrassed. Tell you what. Just tell your friends that you picked me up. How does that sound?
:'''Church:''' Remind me never to let you talk to Tucker again.

===Chapter 13: Greenish-Blue with Envy===
*'''Sigma:''' Did the training session go poorly, Carolina?
:'''Carolina:''' No, it went fine! Just not good enough!
:'''Sigma:''' That is most unusual for you.
:'''Carolina:''' Why does she even have a locker in here if she doesn't use our locker room? And what is so special about her!?
:'''Sigma:''' She does seem to get special treatment, doesn't she? Strange, considering she's not the best Freelancer.
:''[Gamma appears]''
:'''Gamma:''' It's probably because of Omega.
:'''Sigma:''' Now Gamma, we're not meant to speak about Omega. You know the rules.
:'''Carolina:''' Hello, Gamma. Does Wyoming know you're talking to another A.I.?
:'''Gamma:''' I am not talking to another A.I.. We are both talking to you.
:'''Carolina:''' Who is Omega?
:'''Sigma:''' He is one of our brothers.
:'''Gamma:''' He is the strongest of us.
:'''Carolina:''' And Agent Texas has him? She uses an A.I.?
:'''Sigma:''' Hmm... I don't think it's our place to say.
:'''Gamma:''' All the top agents have an A.I..
:'''Sigma:''' Well, except you, Agent Carolina. You chose not to.
:'''Carolina:''' That lying-- This all makes sense now! I've been an idiot! She's not better than me! It's all been Omega!

===Chapter 15: Three's A Crowd===
*'''F.I.L.S.S.:''' A new challenger has arrived. Today's match-up is Agent Texas vs Agent Carolina.
:''[Carolina and York walk up to a set of weapons]''
:'''York:''' OK, just pick up a piece of equipment you know how to use already. ''[Carolina starts picking up a load of grenades]'' Or just grab everything and anything. That works too, I guess...
:''[Sigma watches from the observation booth. Omega appears next to Texas]''
:'''Texas:''' Hey, I've got this one, Omega.
:'''Omega:''' ''[Growls]'' Next time. ''[Disappears]''
:'''F.I.L.S.S.:''' Agent York, please clear the floor.
:'''York:''' In a second, F.I.L.S.S.. ''[To Carolina]'' Now, at first the voice of the A.I., sorry, A.I.'s, it will feel like a tickle, OK? Just focus on that and it will get clear. Trust them. I know that'll be hard, but I promise they'll help.
:'''F.I.L.S.S.:''' Agent York, clear the floor please.
:'''York:''' In a second, F.I.L.S.S.
:'''F.I.L.S.S.:''' Clear the floor or enter the match, York. Your choice.
:'''York:''' For the record, I would stay to support you, but she's really damn scary... OK, maybe you're both pretty scary. Gotta go. ''[Leaves]''

*''[Sarge and Simmons come across Lopez standing like a scarecrow]''
:'''Sarge:''' There he is! Spanish inquisition! Someone's been torturing him!
:'''Simmons:''' Hmm, I don't think so, sir. He kind of looks like a scarecrow.
:'''Sarge:''' Savages! And they've erected this fence as a warning for civilized people to stay away.
:'''Simmons:''' It actually looks like a garden. Wait a minute, is that compost? Sustainable farming? Environmentally friendly housing? Oh no...
:'''Sarge:''' What?
:''[Donut walks up to them]''
:'''Donut:''' Oh, hey guys! I thought I heard voices!
:'''Sarge:''' Donut?
:'''Donut:''' Hi, Sarge! Long time no see!
:'''Simmons:''' I thought you were dead!
:'''Sarge:''' You know, we sure seem to say that a lot these days.
:'''Donut:''' I almost was! That jerk, Washington, shot me in the stomach, but then my armour locked up on me. Kept me alive for a while until it unlocked again for some reason. It was horrible! Do you know what removes blood stains from this armour? Not a lot, I tell you. I lay there forever, wondering how I was going to get all that dark red out of this light red, you know?
:'''Simmons:''' How did you survive? When your armour locked, you would have just bled to death.
:'''Sarge:''' And when did you get all new-agey?
:'''Simmons:''' Uh oh...
:'''Sarge:''' What?
:'''Simmons:''' Sarge, think about it. Medical attention, fringe holistic lifestyle choices. You know what that means.
:'''Sarge:''' What?
:'''Doc:''' ''[Walks up behind Simmons and Sarge]'' Well, look what the cat dragged in. And by dragged in, I mean spit out like a hairball. Hey, guys!
:'''Sarge:''' Simmons, is that Doc behind us?
:'''Simmons:''' I think so.
:'''Sarge:''' Simmons, get my gun.
:'''Simmons:''' You're holding it, sir.
:'''Sarge:''' Oh, right. Simmons, I'm gonna need you to commence operation 'point my gun at Doc'.
:'''Simmons:''' But sir, operation 'point my gun at Doc' was just a code phrase for operation 'point my gun at Grif'.
:'''Sarge:''' Drat! Fine. Switch to operation 'point my gun at Grif'.
:'''Simmons:''' Yeah, actually, sir, that one was just what it sounds like. Sorry.
:'''Sarge:''' Double Drat!

===Chapter 18: Change of Plan===
*'''Chairman:''' Dear Director, Your request for more bases in which to conduct your experiments was reviewed with much reservation by our chairperson. Project Freelancer has been entrusted with one of our militaries' most valuable assets. Oversight becomes a much more difficult process if your operations are not centralized. Nonetheless, we have granted your request. However, we reserve the right to revoke this approval as we see fit. I sincerely hope this does not happen and anticipate you will not give us an occasion to do so.

*'''Church:''' So, that's it!? You're just gonna turn your back on us!?
:'''Washington:''' Epsilon, I know thi-
:'''Church:''' No, no, you're right! You know, I guess I should have seen that one coming! It's not exactly like you're new to the concept is it!?
:'''Sarge:''' That's a little harsh.
:'''Church:''' But you guys!? After all the shit you've put me through, I really thought at least you would have my back!
:'''Grif:''' Us!? What the hell did we do!?
:'''Church:''' ''[Growing bigger and redder]'' You shot me through the head, you put a bomb in my gut, you killed me with my own damn tank, ''and that's just how we met!''
:'''Tucker:''' Church, calm down! What's your problem!?
:'''Church:''' ''YOU'RE MY PROBLEM! YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY PROBLEM! EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IS JUST A PROBLEM THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH '''ON A DAILY BASIS!'''''
:''[Disgusted, Tucker turns and leaves the room]''
:'''Church:''' ''[Reverting to his normal size]'' Guys...
:''[Sarge nods to Grif and Simmons and all 3 leave the room, angry with Church]''
:'''Church:''' Guys, wait a minute... ''[Look at Caboose]'' Caboose...
:''[Caboose backs up, then quietly turns and leaves]''
:'''Carolina:''' Forget it, Church. We don't need them.
:'''Washington:''' I don't know what's gotten into you, Carolina. But you'd better figure out the difference between your enemies and your friends. ''[Leaves]''

===Chapter 19: Party Crasher===
*'''South:''' You think you're so fucking tough, don't you, Texas? Well, let me ask you something. Who's the monster now, bitch?

*'''Wyoming:''' Now where are you hiding? Knock knock, mate.
:'''Battle Rifle Soldier:''' Wait, who's there?
:''[York drops down from the ceiling]''
:'''Battle Rifle Soldier:''' Whoa! It's York!
:''[York kills the 2 soldiers with a shotgun, then battles Wyoming]''
:'''York:''' Knock knock!
:'''Wyoming:''' Ah yes, that's what I'm saying, who's there?
:'''York:''' It's York! ''[Smashes open a locker, hitting Wyoming in the process and sees a photo of a woman]'' Hello.
:'''Wyoming:''' Who's there?
:'''York:''' I told you! It's York!
:'''Wyoming:''' It's York... who?
:''[York throws a locker at Wyoming, defeating him]''
:'''York:''' It's &quot;York&quot; catch, asshole. ''[Grabs a photo of a woman floating in the air]'' Talk about knock knocks. ''[Puts the photo in his pocket]''

*'''Sigma:''' You run, Agent Texas. We are the Meta. And we will find you. Very soon.

===Chapter 20: Reckless===
*'''Tucker:''' ''[Looking at the Meta's Brute Shot]'' Wow! ''[Whistles]''
:'''Sarge:''' Great ginzu gunshow!
:'''Washington:''' Is that what I think it is? Is that ''whose'' I think it is?
:'''Simmons:''' Stolen alien weaponry used by the scariest fucking mute in the galaxy? Yeah, pretty much.
:'''Sarge:''' Like, half knife, half rifle. What do you call that?
:'''Tucker:''' I don't know, but we'll take it!
:'''Grif:''' No! There is no way I'm giving up the Grif shot!
:'''Tucker:''' Oh please, what were you gonna do? Eat off it?
:'''Grif:''' Uh, actually, dickhead, I asked Donut to mount it for me at the base.
:'''Donut:''' ''[Emerging from Red base]'' And you know I can't resist a good mounting!
:'''Washington:''' You've been hiding one of the most advanced pieces of technology known to man, so you can hang it in your living room!?
:'''Grif:''' ''[Beat]'' Well, when you say it like that, it sounds dumb.
:'''Washington:''' That's because it is dumb!
:'''Doc:''' I think it's kind of cool. I mean, when I met you guys, all you did was stand around and talk. But now you can't walk five feet without getting wrapped up in some crazy adventure.
:'''Sarge:''' What's your point?
:'''Doc:''' I don't know. I just thought it was cool, I mean, come on, you guys have been through a lot together. Don't you want something to remember all the good times?
:'''Tucker:''' The good times!? I was stranded in the desert!
:'''Simmons:''' We were almost killed!
:'''Sarge:''' I learned my entire military career was a lie!
:'''Donut:''' And I got shot!
:'''Washington:''' ''[Whistles]''
:'''Doc:''' OK, yeah, it wasn't perfect, but look what you all got out of it.
:'''Sarge:''' You mean the rifle knife?
:'''Grif:''' You mean the &quot;Grif Shot&quot;.
:'''Doc:''' Sure there's that, but Sarge, you finally got to lead an actual military operation. And Tucker? You learned how to use your sword like a pro.
:'''Tucker:''' Bow chika bow wow?
:'''Doc:''' You found a new team, Simmons got back his old team, I finally managed to keep a patient from dying...
:'''Donut:''' And in return, I didn't die.

*'''Church:''' Oh no!
:'''Carolina:''' Church, what is this?
:'''Church:''' He kept trying. He kept trying to get her right.
:'''Carolina:''' You think these things are anything like the real deal?
:''[Cut to a large army of Tex clones who all crunch their knuckles and stretch their necks in unison. One of them steps forward]''
:'''Tex Drone:''' ''[Speaking in Omega's voice]'' You have no idea what kind of trouble you are in. ''[Evil chuckle]''

===Chapter 21: True Colors===
*'''Washington:''' ''[Holding his hand out to Carolina]'' Get up.
:'''Carolina:''' What are you doing here?
:'''Washington:''' ''[Pulls Carolina to her feet]'' I told you, they're not so bad once you get to know 'em.
:'''Church:''' Well, I thought this wasn't your fight.
:'''Sarge:''' Come on, overwhelming odds with little to no chance of success? How can we resist?
:'''Tucker:''' You got a problem with that, Church?
:'''Church:''' Guys, I'm an asshole, I admit it. And I will gladly accept any and all smartass remarks after this is over. But I'd like to point out the fact that we're standing in a room full of crazy Freelancer robots that are ready to completely and utterly fuck our shit up!
:'''Tucker:''' So, cheesy forgiveness speech later?
:'''Sarge:''' Yeah, that sounds good.
:'''Carolina:''' Lock and load, people!

*'''Caboose:''' ''[Charging into the army of Tex Drones]'' My name is Michael J. Caboose! And I! HATE! '''TAXES!'''
:'''Grif:''' It's Texas, you idiot!
:'''Caboose:''' That too!

===Chapter 22: Don't Say It===
*'''Sarge:''' Private Grif, front and center on the double!
:'''Grif:''' Ugh, Sarge, I'm tired. Do I have to do it on the double?
:'''Simmons:''' Look at me, sir! I got front and center on the triple!
:'''Sarge:''' Dag nabbit! Now I've got two insubordinate soldiers! When I say &quot;double&quot;, I mean double!
:'''Grif:''' I will only go so far as single and a half.
:'''Simmons:''' If these orders were hamburgers, then you'd do it double.
:'''Grif:''' What? Who has hamburgers?
:'''Sarge:''' The only hamburger meat here is gonna be your face when I'm done with my shotgun court-martial! And don't even ask me about the type of buns!
:'''Grif:''' ''[Sighs]'' That sounds like the most delicious punishment ever.
:'''Simmons:''' Of all time.

[[Category:Machinima]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Alyssa Milano</title>
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        <id>3128274</id>
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      <text bytes="1726" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Alyssa Milano 2011.jpg|thumb|Alyssa Milano in 2011]]

'''[[w:Alyssa Milano|Alyssa Jayne Milano]]''' (born [[19 December]] [[1972]]) is an American actress, activist, producer and former singer. She is best known for her roles in ''{{w|Who's the Boss?}}'', ''[[Melrose Place]]'', ''[[Charmed]]'', ''[[My Name is Earl]]'', ''[[w:Mistresses (U.S. TV series)|Mistresses]]'' and ''{{w|Wet Hot American Summer: 10 Years Later}}''.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* The world has so much suffering in it already—choosing to be [[Vegetarianism|vegetarian]] is one thing you can do to reduce the suffering on a daily basis.
** Interview with peta2, as quoted in [https://www.peta.org/blog/chrissie-hynde-nyc-violence-ground-zero/ &quot;Chrissie Hynde to NYC: No More Violence at Ground Zero&quot; by PETA (13 October 2008)].

* I believe we should extend our care and concern to all living creatures with whom we share this planet. … &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Animals]]] give me a window into a world that is different from our own, but every bit as meaningful. … I can’t imagine what life would be like without animals. They bring me happiness and a sense of calm and peace.
** [https://parade.com/24465/michelechollow/alyssa-milano-on-pets-and-best-friends/ &quot;Alyssa Milano on Pets and Best Friends&quot;, interview with ''Parade'' (24 June 2013)].

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Milano, Alyssa}}
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:1972 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:Producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Vegetarians]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149164</id>
      <parentid>3149161</parentid>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="1834" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Alyssa Milano 2011.jpg|thumb|Alyssa Milano in 2011]]

'''[[w:Alyssa Milano|Alyssa Jayne Milano]]''' (born [[19 December]] [[1972]]) is an American actress, activist, producer and former singer. She is best known for her roles in ''{{w|Who's the Boss?}}'', ''[[Melrose Place]]'', ''[[Charmed]]'', ''[[My Name is Earl]]'', ''[[w:Mistresses (U.S. TV series)|Mistresses]]'' and ''{{w|Wet Hot American Summer: 10 Years Later}}''.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* The world has so much suffering in it already—choosing to be [[Vegetarianism|vegetarian]] is one thing you can do to reduce the suffering on a daily basis.
** Interview with peta2, as quoted in [https://www.peta.org/blog/chrissie-hynde-nyc-violence-ground-zero/ &quot;Chrissie Hynde to NYC: No More Violence at Ground Zero&quot; by PETA (13 October 2008)].

* I believe we should extend our care and concern to all living creatures with whom we share this planet. … &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Animals]]] give me a window into a world that is different from our own, but every bit as meaningful. … I can’t imagine what life would be like without animals. They bring me happiness and a sense of calm and peace.
** [https://parade.com/24465/michelechollow/alyssa-milano-on-pets-and-best-friends/ &quot;Alyssa Milano on Pets and Best Friends&quot;, interview with ''Parade'' (24 June 2013)].

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Milano, Alyssa}}
[[Category:Human rights activists]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:1972 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:Television producers]]
[[Category:Producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Vegetarians]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149167</id>
      <parentid>3149164</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:59:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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        <id>3128274</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1884" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Alyssa Milano 2011.jpg|thumb|Alyssa Milano in 2011]]

'''[[w:Alyssa Milano|Alyssa Jayne Milano]]''' (born [[19 December]] [[1972]]) is an American actress, activist, producer and former singer. She is best known for her roles in ''{{w|Who's the Boss?}}'', ''[[Melrose Place]]'', ''[[Charmed]]'', ''[[My Name is Earl]]'', ''[[w:Mistresses (U.S. TV series)|Mistresses]]'' and ''{{w|Wet Hot American Summer: 10 Years Later}}''.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* The world has so much suffering in it already—choosing to be [[Vegetarianism|vegetarian]] is one thing you can do to reduce the suffering on a daily basis.
** Interview with peta2, as quoted in [https://www.peta.org/blog/chrissie-hynde-nyc-violence-ground-zero/ &quot;Chrissie Hynde to NYC: No More Violence at Ground Zero&quot; by PETA (13 October 2008)].

* I believe we should extend our care and concern to all living creatures with whom we share this planet. … &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Animals]]] give me a window into a world that is different from our own, but every bit as meaningful. … I can’t imagine what life would be like without animals. They bring me happiness and a sense of calm and peace.
** [https://parade.com/24465/michelechollow/alyssa-milano-on-pets-and-best-friends/ &quot;Alyssa Milano on Pets and Best Friends&quot;, interview with ''Parade'' (24 June 2013)].

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Milano, Alyssa}}
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  <page>
    <title>Danielle Savre</title>
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      <text bytes="1691" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Danielle Savre|Danielle Kathleen Savre]]''' (August 26, 1988 –) is an American actress and singer.
== Quotes ==
* I would like to say that I live in Hollywood and I sleep in Simi. I am in LA every single day. I do not want to move there because I like the escape, the quiet in Simi.
** [https://hollywoodthewriteway.com/2009/03/catching-up-with-kaya-star-danielle.html Catching Up With Kaya Star, Danielle Savre] (March 24, 2009)

* I’m not the biggest fan of long walks on the beach but I do love being on a boat, that fulfills the scenic water element right? In all seriousness, I’ve been acting since I was seven years old and I love it. I’ve been blessed to work with amazing people on wonderful projects and made great friends along the way. Besides acting, I love laughing, eating, being adventurous and I’m simply excited about what the future may hold.
** [http://www.naludamagazine.com/danielle-savre/ Danielle Savre Interview] (December 22, 2016)

* I live in a world of actors where everyone is a little crazy to begin with, but it was interesting that he said all these elements to this disorder. I was like, “Oh my gosh!” I feel like this will be a great challenge to play the role, but I can tap into that because I feel like I know someone with that disorder.
** [http://starrymag.com/danielle-savre-the-perfect-stalker/ Danielle Savre – The Perfect Stalker] (December 30, 2016)
== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}

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  <page>
    <title>Kirsten Rosenberg</title>
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      <text bytes="1479" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Kirsten Rosenberg Iron Maidens 2011.jpg|thumb|Kirsten Rosenberg in 2011]]

'''{{w|Kirsten Rosenberg}}''' is an American singer, currently with the all-female tribute band {{w|The Iron Maidens}}, and an animal rights activist.

{{musician-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* What do [[animal rights]] advocates want? For most avowed rightists, that's easy: The complete liberation of animals from human exploitation as quickly as possible. Yet while we work diligently to achieve such a status for animals over the long term, we also have a duty to respect the &quot;rights&quot; of those individuals who are currently suffering to a life less miserable. To dismiss opportunities to ameliorate their pain and distress is to treat those animals as mere abstractions rather than as sentient beings inherently worthy of consideration now—a position, ironically, often held by the very exploitive institutions we seek to overturn.
** [http://www.upc-online.org/forum2001speakers.html United Poultry Concerns Third Annual Forum: &quot;Do Animal Welfare Campaigns &amp; Reforms Hurt or Help Animal Rights &amp; Abolition?&quot; (8-9 December 2001, Machipongo, Virginia)].

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Rosenberg, Kirsten}}
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[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Animal rights activists]]
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[[Category:Living people]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1506" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Kirsten Rosenberg Iron Maidens 2011.jpg|thumb|Kirsten Rosenberg in 2011]]

'''{{w|Kirsten Rosenberg}}''' is an American singer, currently with the all-female tribute band {{w|The Iron Maidens}}, and an animal rights activist.

{{musician-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* What do [[animal rights]] advocates want? For most avowed rightists, that's easy: The complete liberation of animals from human exploitation as quickly as possible. Yet while we work diligently to achieve such a status for animals over the long term, we also have a duty to respect the &quot;rights&quot; of those individuals who are currently suffering to a life less miserable. To dismiss opportunities to ameliorate their pain and distress is to treat those animals as mere abstractions rather than as sentient beings inherently worthy of consideration now—a position, ironically, often held by the very exploitive institutions we seek to overturn.
** [http://www.upc-online.org/forum2001speakers.html United Poultry Concerns Third Annual Forum: &quot;Do Animal Welfare Campaigns &amp; Reforms Hurt or Help Animal Rights &amp; Abolition?&quot; (8-9 December 2001, Machipongo, Virginia)].

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Rosenberg, Kirsten}}
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[[Category:Animal rights activists]]
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  <page>
    <title>Lizabeth Scott</title>
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      <text bytes="1952" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Lizabeth Scott publicity photo for The Strange Love of Martha Ivers.jpg|thumb|When you say ambition to me, that's when you get me started! My greatest ambition is to be the whoppingest best actress in Hollywood. You can't blame a girl for trying!]]
[[File:Publicity still for &quot;Paid in Full&quot; (1950).jpeg|thumb|I loved making films. There was something about that lens that I adored, and it adored me back. So we were a great combination.]]
'''[[w:Lizabeth Scott|Lizabeth Scott]]''' (born '''Emma Matzo'''; September 29, 1922 – January 31, 2015) was an American actress, known for her &quot;smoky voice&quot; and being &quot;the most beautiful face of film noir during the 1940s and 1950s&quot;.

==Quotes==
* When you say ambition to me, that's when you get me started! My greatest ambition is to be the whoppingest best actress in Hollywood. You can't blame a girl for trying! I don't want to be classed as a &quot;personality,&quot; something to stare at. I want to have my talents respected, not only by the public but by myself.
** McFadden, Robert D. (February 6, 2015). &quot;[https://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/07/movies/lizabeth-scott-film-noir-siren-dies-at-92.html Lizabeth Scott, Film Noir Siren, Dies at 92]&quot;. ''The New York Times''.

* I loved making films. There was something about that lens that I adored, and it adored me back. So we were a great combination.
** Colker, David (February 6, 2015). &quot;[http://www.latimes.com/local/obituaries/la-me-lizabeth-scott-20150206-story.html From the Archives: Lizabeth Scott dies at 92; sultry leading woman of film noir]&quot;. ''Los Angeles Times''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{IMDb name|0779507}}

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  <page>
    <title>Steven Universe (season 5)</title>
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      <text bytes="50375" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Stuck Together''===
:'''Aquamarine''': Say, Rose, how do I look?
:'''Steven''': Awful, small and mean!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Topaz''': What was I thinking?
:'''Aquamarine''': That's the problem with you fusions. Sooner or later, you will become ''sentimental.'' ''[the ship rumbles, coming to a stop and a notification pops up]'' We're here. Look, just… unfuse, and we'll never speak of this again.

===''The Trial''===
:'''Steven''': ''[speaking to himself]'' I know my mom did something really bad. Whatever Homeworld has in store for me… I'M READY!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prosecuting Zircon''': Defending a rebel? Isn't that… ''treason?'' ''[chuckles]''
:'''Defense Zircon''': I was ''assigned'' to this!
:''[Blue and Yellow Pearl warp in]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': All rise for the luminous Yellow Diamond! ''[poses]''
:'''Blue Pearl''': And the lustrous Blue Diamond. ''[bows]''
:''[Blue and Yellow Diamond warp in behind them, staring down at Steven]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[looking around]'' Where is the accused?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks down at Steven]'' Is that Rose Quartz? Look at this ''hideous'' she's taken. Forget the trial, we should shatter just for looking like that.
:'''Blue Diamond''': No. I want to hear her make her case. I want to know what she thinks we're going to do with her. Because  I want to do something ''worse''.
:''[Steven gulps nervously]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[warps in their throne chairs]'' Fine. Let's just get on with it, shall we?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I did it!
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wha… What, what?! Stop!
:'''Blue Diamond''': No! I want to hear what she has to say.
:''[Steven is elevated up to the Diamonds' height]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': State your name for the record, please.
:'''Steven''': I, um… I am Rose Quartz… and I'm guilty.
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wait! No, don't say that!
:'''Steven''': Everything you guys I did, I did. And I did it by myself. I'm sorry. I'll accept any punishment you want to give me. ''[points down to Lars]'' Just let him go! And leave the Earth alone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Ha! Sounds like a solid confession to me.
:'''Blue Diamond''': How? How did you do it? How did you shatter Pink Diamond?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Um, well…I did it on Earth in front of Pink Diamond's palanquin. I was probably like &quot;Stop!&quot; And she was all like, &quot;No!&quot; So we fought -- I think. And she probably did some cool moves. I probably did some cool stuff, too, some jump-kicks and stuff. But I was most likely deeply conflicted about deciding to shatter her. Definitely crying. I probably had to use the Breaking Point to do it.
:'''Blue Diamond''': It was a ''sword!'' ''[covers her eyes, crying and a blue light fills the room, making everyone except Lars tear up]'' You… shattered her… with a sword! ''[starts sobbing]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[walks up and comforts Blue]'' That's quite enough testimony from you! We shall take a short recess.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Defense Zircon''': What are you saying in there?! &quot;Maybe&quot; this, &quot;probably&quot; that! Oh, what do you mean, ''probably''?!
:'''Steven''': Look I just... I don't actually know how it happened, okay?
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't ''know''?!
:'''Steven''': I...
:'''Defense Zircon''': ''[grabs Steven by the shirt collar and picks him up]'' Don't tumble my rocks! Both our gems are on the line! Did you do this or not?!
:'''Steven''': It was me, alright! ''[Defense Zircon let's go of his shirt and drops him]'' Rose Quartz did it, and I've got her gem, so I'm the one who's got to pay for this.
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't know how it happened. ''[Steven shakes his head]'' I get it. There's a reason they want you to explain how you did it.
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Defense Zircon''': It's because it doesn't make sense!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You think you can get away, Rose? You stood your ground on that little speck called Earth. But you're on ''our'' world now.

===''Off Colors''===
:'''Padparadscha''': Oh my gosh, something incredible is going to happen to Lars!

===''Lars' Head''===
:'''Steven''': But it doesn't feel right to just leave you here.
:'''Lars''': You said yourself that everyone on this planet is out to get you. You won't be safe until you're back on Earth.
:'''Steven''': But, Lars--
:'''Lars''': Don't argue with me! You're always trying to help me. You brought me back to life. Just let me be somebody who deserved it.

===''Dewey Wins''===

===''Gemcation''===

===''Raising the Barn''===

===''Back to the Kindergarten''===
:'''Peridot''': This used to make sense to me. I thought life was generated in a kindergarten. Formless, aimless energy channeled into new, useful gems. But life doesn't start in a kindergarten. It ends here. I've gotten used to plants everywhere. Bugs and breeze and sunshine...all of that has been sucked out of this place. 

===''Sadie Killer''===

===''Kevin Party''===

===''Lars of the Stars''===
:'''Emerald''': ''[on screen]'' It's over! I've got you now you miserable off-colors!
:'''Lars''': You'll ''never'' take us alive, Emerald!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lars''': You don't get it, do you, Steven? ''[starts tearing up and sniffles]'' It should be me. ''[starts crying]'' ''I'm'' the one that should be hanging out with the Cool Kids! She's getting back at me for everything I've done!
:'''Connie''': Do you really think Sadie is living her life ''just'' to get back at you?
:'''Lars''': Why else would she be having so much fun without me?!
:'''Steven''': Because life goes on, no matter what happens. She was so upset when she found out you'd be stuck in space, Lars. She really misses you, but, she can't stay sad forever. She started hanging out with the cool kids. She quit the Big Donut all because she needed to do ''something'' to feel better.
:'''Connie''': And look at you! Steven said you'd be hiding in some cave on Homeworld, but you're not! You're out here fighting for freedom with all your new friends in tow! Are ''you'' doing any of this to hurt Sadie?
:'''Lars''': No! I'm doing this because I have to. ''[tears up]'' I'd never do this to hurt Sadie because-
:'''Steven''': Because!
:'''Connie''': Because!
:'''Both''': Because you're best friends!
:''[Lars watches them fuse into Stevonnie]''
:'''Stevonnie''': And best friends wouldn't do anything to hurt each other!

===''Jungle Moon''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[squealing in excitement]'' Whoa, cool! Yellow! ''[jumps up to her chair]'' Hey, Yellow.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Oh, you're still here.
:'''Stevonnie''': What are you doing?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm commanding the dropships to colonize this planet.
:'''Stevonnie''': I wanna command a dropship!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Well, when you have your ''own'' colony, you can command whatever you want.
:'''Stevonnie''': I want a colony! ''[Yellow Diamond presses buttons on the panel with four diamonds]'' I want one now! ''[screen unlocks revealing a dropship on the panel]'' What's this?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm contacting the leader of the fleet.
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[amazed]'' Let me do it! ''[starts pressing buttons on the screen but Yellow Diamond grabs her arm]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' DON'T TOUCH THAT!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[irritated]'' Why ''not''? You have so many worlds and I don't even have ''one''! It's not fair! I want ONE! I want my own ''army''! I want my own ''planet''! I deserve it! I'm just as important as ''YOU''!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' Then why don't you act like it, Pink?!
:''[Stevonnie walks away, holding their arm, angry; approach a window and their fist clenches; Pink Diamond is seen through their reflection and the hand punches the glass smashing it; She suddenly wakes up from the dream, falling out of the hammock on the ground]''
:'''Stevonnie''': (''talking through Connie'') Whoa! ''[breathing hard]'' Steven, what was that? (''talking through Steven'') Diamonds. I'm having Diamond dreams again. But, why now? Why ''here''? ''[looks up and see a mural of Yellow Diamond]'' No way.

===''Your Mother and Mine''===
:'''Garnet''': Come on, everyone. Let me tell you the story of the ''real'' Rose Quartz. ''[Flashback story begins; narrating]'' It was Era 1. The Diamonds, unique in their flawlessness, sought to expand their perfection across the galaxy. And it was for this purpose that Pink Diamond chose her first colony-- the planet Earth. On Earth, every Gem was made to serve Pink Diamond, each with a role to play in her world's perfect empire. In comparison to their creator, their existence was ordinary. They were life-forms only meant to fit their mold, and no one had ever dared to think otherwise. Until, there was Rose Quartz. In stature, she was no different than any other Quartz. And for a time, she did her best to carry out her Diamond's bidding. However, she began to take notice of her strange colony and the life that existed there. Curiosity turned to appreciation. Appreciation turned to fondness. And fondness… turned to love. Soon she was unable to keep her findings secret, and she began asking her fellow Gems if they knew of the life on Earth and what they made of it. She continued to pry her fellow Kindergartners with questions ''so'' odd, that word of her eventually made its way to Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz was summoned at once.
:'''Pink Diamond''': Quartz, what have you been saying down there?
:'''Rose''': My Diamond, it has come to my attention that your colony, Earth, bears life. While I know these organic life-forms serve no purpose, I ask that we leave this planet and spare their lives.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Pink Diamond thought for a moment, and then laughed, a wicked, empty sound.
:'''Pink Diamond''': ''[laughing]'' You wish to save these life-forms at the expense of our own? Ha! Don't be absurd. Return to your post, and I will forget your insolence.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' And with that, Rose Quartz was dragged back to her kindergarten for duty. ''[A gem drags Rose away and she continues working]'' Only Rose could no longer stand to continue aiding in the destruction of Earth. She had no choice. She had to fight.
:'''Rose''': ''[stops working and jumps into the air, changing her uniform into a dress before destroying an injector, stands on the broken injector and speaks to the other Quartzes]'' Is this what you want -- to inject, to build?! I've seen the life that exists for itself, and it lives here! Will you destroy it, or will you join it?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Rose's message began to resonate to Pink Diamond's dismay. Her colony was falling apart. So, like a coward, she called for her Diamond allies, Yellow and Blue, to help. But Rose also found herself with allies, other Gems that were cast out for being wrong-- a Pearl who belonged to no one… a Bismuth who built weapons for rebels instead of towers for tyrants… An entirely new fusion, for not power, but for love… And countless others, all inspired by Rose to live for ourselves on Earth. She was our leader. And Earth was our precious home. And those who fought to save it became known as…the Crystal Gems!
:'''Rhodonite''': Unbelievable!
:'''Rutile Twins''': There were Gems like us?
:'''Padparadscha''': Fighting.
:'''Fluorite''': For… their… freedom?
:'''Garnet''': Yes, and we were fearless! ''[Flashback resumes; narrating]'' It was an impossible fight, but we fought anyway. And the more Gems who saw us, the more who joined. But Pink Diamond's forces proved too strong. Rose feared that soon she would have nothing left to protect. Rose Quartz drew her rebel blade… and shattered Pink Diamond, saving the Earth for all time from her reign of terror.
:'''Rutile Twins''': Wow! That's incredible! I don't believe it!
:'''Lars''': ''[to Steven]'' Your mom did all that? That's awesome!
:'''Rhodonite''': Wait. What about the rest? What happened after that?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The other Diamonds were furious. In a last-ditch attempt to wipe out the Rebellion, the Diamonds launched a direct attack against Earth. And in their fury, they used their powers to end the fighting once and for all.
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict this story won't have a happy ending.
:'''Rutile Twins''': We were all told different stories. But they all ended the same way.
:'''Fluorite''': With Rose Quartz… being… defeated.
:'''Rhodonite''': This new version of the story is even worse! So, she was great, and they beat her? What are we supposed to get out of this -- that we can never win?!
:'''Garnet''': We haven't yet, but we can, and we will. They said they annihilated Rose's rebellion, but here ''we'' are. They said they annihilated all of you on Homeworld, but here ''you'' are! They think they have us on the run, but they're the ones that are running from the truth. And the truth is we... are... everywhere!
:'''Rhodonite''': But how many more of us can there be?
:'''Steven''': Way more than you think! I was only on Homeworld for, like, an hour before I ran in to you guys. There must be Off Colors all over the place.
:'''Garnet''': Rose used to say there was something about Earth -- something that set Gems free. But it's not just Earth. Look at you. Love, freedom -- it's universal. You all prove it every moment you live as yourselves. You can show everyone.
:'''Fluorite''': We… can do that?
:'''Lars''': Not while we're floating out here like sitting ducks.

===''The Big Show''===

===''Pool Hopping''===
:'''Garnet''': I think I get it.
:'''Steven''': Hm?
:'''Garnet''': Why my future vision has been so off. I have to change the way I think about you. 
:'''Steven''': What?
:'''Garnet''': I've been looking into probable futures where you act like a child. I keep expecting you to run from responsibility and to turn to me for help, but you don't do that anymore. Those futures aren't probable at all. There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision. I just need to factor in that you've grown up.

===''Letters to Lars''===

===''Can't Go Back''===
:'''Blue Diamond''': But this is what you wanted.
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and gasps; turns to see Lapis is nowhere to be seen]'' Lapis? ''[faces forward, seeing the silhouettes of Blue, Yellow, and Pink Diamond]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': You begged us for a colony of your own, and now all you want to do is be rid of it. First there were too many organics. Then their cities were too difficult to dismantle, and -- and now these Crystal Gems. We're tired of your excuses, Pink.
:'''Steven''': The Diamonds.
:'''Blue Diamond''': This Rose Quartz can't hurt you. You can't be swayed by a few unruly Gems. ''[Holds her hand up in front of Pink Diamond as she's about to speak]'' Enough! You must understand, you are a Diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you. You don't even have to do anything. Just smile and wave. Show everyone you're unfazed by this little uprising. Your Gems will fall into line, and these Crystal Gems will be no more. As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Lapis flies away, Steven looks at the mural of Pink Diamond and turns to Lion]''
:'''Steven''': Lion, I need you to take me to Pearl.

===''A Single Pale Rose''===
:'''Steven''': It better not turn out that her phone was in her pocket...or she left it on the dresser or dropped it in the toilet. Seems about as likely as putting it away in your repressed war memories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Steven returns from Pearl's gem after learning the truth about how Rose Quartz &quot;shattered&quot; Pink Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': I know.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[tearing up]'' I wanted to tell you for ''so'' long.
:'''Steven''': Mom was Pink Diamond.
:''[Garnet and Amethyst stand in shock behind Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?'''&lt;/big&gt;

===''Now We're Only Falling Apart''===
:'''Amethyst''': Let me get this straight. Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gems, Steven's mom, was actually Pink Diamond?!
:'''Steven''': She faked her own shattering, and reformed to be Rose all the time.
:'''Pearl''': Pink Diamond's final command to me was that no one could know, but now that Steven does, I can finally tell you all everything!
:'''Amethyst''': Phew! I mean, a pink lion, a pink sword, and now Pink Diamond?! Huh, if you told me Rose invented cotton candy, I'd believe it. Right, Garnet? Uh, Garnet?
:'''Garnet''': ''[shaking and gets up]'' Rose. She... she... ''[struggles to stay stable and defuses into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': ''[betrayed and heartbroken with anger]'' '''SHE LIED TO US!''' She lied about EVERYTHING! ''[freezes up the floor]'' She held our hands, looked us right in the eyes, and told us to never question who we are as Garnet. We never questioned ourselves, or her!
:'''Ruby''': We couldn't have known!
:'''Sapphire''': No, you couldn't have known. You never know what's going on. That's what I'm for!
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': But I never looked into her, I trusted her. I let her make fools of us all! ''[storms over to the warp pad]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire, wait!
:'''Steven''': Guys! ''[slips on the ice]''
:'''Ruby''': Please…We can just stay calm and talk about this, right? Let's just, talk.
:'''Sapphire''': Talk about what? How our relationship is based on a lie? What else is there to say? ''[warps away to Rose's Fountain]''
:'''Pearl''': Ruby, I am so sorry.
:'''Steven''': Come on, Pearl. Help me explain everything to Sapphire.
:'''Pearl''': Right.
:'''Steven''': Sit tight, Ruby. We'll go and get Sapphire.
:'''Ruby''': Okay. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sapphire''': ''[grieving]'' Everything we were running from, she was right there all along…using us for her little war…smiling at us with those knowing eyes… Making me believe in a better future that I couldn't see, because it wasn't real. And now here we are, our friends, shattered, and corrupted…of course she was a Diamond. What a long road she took to torture us all like this.
:'''Steven''': It wasn't like that. You know she didn't want anyone to get hurt.
:'''Sapphire''': I don't know that! I clearly don't know anything.
:'''Pearl''': You deserve to know everything. I was given to Pink Diamond just a few thousand years before she was given the Earth. I was supposed to make her happy, I just never could.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Is everything alright, my Diamond? You seem troubled.
:'''Rose''': All this life that's been growing wild here on Earth…none of it will survive my invasion. We're not creating life from nothing. We're ''taking'' life, and leaving nothing behind.
:'''Pearl''': Forgive me, my Diamond. I shouldn't have brought you to such a place.
:'''Rose''': No. I needed to see this.
:''[scene shifts back to the fountain]''
:'''Steven''': So she ''did'' want to protect Earth. She didn't realize what the colony was doing to the planet.
:'''Sapphire''': So what?! She suddenly started to care about Earth? Why did she have to rope us into all this? Why couldn't she just stop the colonization herself?
:'''Pearl''': She ''tried''. When she told the other Diamonds she didn't want to go through with the colony, they told her to finish what she started. When she told the other Diamonds she wanted to preserve life on Earth, they created the zoo and threw a handful of humans in. She did everything she could as Pink Diamond. But her status meant nothing to Blue and Yellow. So she decided to make a stand, as someone they couldn't ignore. She was going to scare every Gem off the planet. But everything changed when she saw…your fusion.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Before Garnet, Rose was only fighting for Earth. But Garnet changed everything. Rose wanted to fight for her, she wanted to fight for Gems! And maybe she was foolish, and maybe even...selfish, but she was-
:'''Sapphire''': Following us.
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Sapphire''': This whole time, we thought we were following her, but she was following ''us''. How could she not after you swept her off her feet?

===''What's your Problem''===

===''The Question''===

===''Made of Honor''===
:'''Steven''': So, my Dad will finish playing the music, and then next you'll do the &quot;I do's.&quot; And then I'll say… &quot;I now pronounce you Garnet.&quot; And then you fuse! Everyone will cheer!
:'''Sapphire''': Everyone… who survived.
:'''Ruby''': Huh?
:'''Sapphire''': Oh, it's just… There's so many old friends who won't be able to come. All the Crystal Gems who were corrupted and bubbled in the basement.
:'''Ruby''': Maybe we could bring the bubbles up here?
:'''Sapphire''': No, no. It's not safe. We can't risk them getting out.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Hey everyone. Did you guys &quot;Bismi-th&quot; me?
:''[Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby and Amethyst drop their sodas simultaneously]''
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I win! Also, less importantly, who are you?
:'''Steven''': I… invited Bismuth! I hope that's cool.
:'''Sapphire''': ''[slowly walks up to her]'' Bismuth. ''[hugs her]''
:'''Bismuth''': Whoa, Sapphire!
:'''Pearl and Ruby''': Bismuth! ''[tackle her to the floor, and begin nuzzling her]''
:'''Sapphire''': You wouldn't believe what we've all been through. I'm so sorry! We should've-
:'''Bismuth''': Look, I'm right there with you, Steven filled me in.
:'''Peridot''': So, is anyone going to introduce me?
:'''Amethyst''': Let's give 'em some space.

===''Reunited''===
:'''Steven''': Dearly beloved Gems, humans, lions big and small, living gourds, Onion, we are gathered here today to celebrate Ruby and Sapphire, two of my favorite people, who combine into one of my other favorite people! You all probably know her as Garnet. She's their love, given form. Now it's your turn to talk about that.
:'''Ruby''': I know this is all kind of silly, I mean, we've been together for 5,750 years.
:'''Sapphire''': And 8 months.
:'''Ruby''': I used to feel like I wasn't much good, just one of me on my own. But when we're together, it feels like it's okay to just be me. So I wanna be me, with you, an-and, not even the Diamonds will come between us. And if they try, we'll beat em up!
:'''Sapphire''': Ruby, my future used to look like one single, obvious stream, unbending 'til the end of time. In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures, streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will. ''[beat]'' What I mean is, you changed my life. And then, I changed your life. And now, we changed our lives.
:'''Steven''': Bismuth, the rings.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[gently bumps Bismuth]'' Hey, Bismuth, that's your cue.
:''[Bismuth, touched and crying by the vows, approaches them with the rings]''
:'''Steven''': Ruby, do you take this Gem to have and to hold, on this and every other planet in the universe!?
:'''Ruby''': I DO!
:'''Steven''': And Sapphire, do you-
:'''Sapphire''': Yes.
:'''Steven''': ''[whispering]'' You didn't let me finish.
:'''Sapphire''': I'm just very excited.
:'''Steven''': Then by the power vested in me by the state of Delmarva, I now pronounce you… Garnet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': What a wonderful idea. Humans found a way to make a moment's decision last forever. I won't need future vision to know I'll always remember this.
:'''Steven''': I'm so glad. ''[starts tearing up]''
:'''Garnet''': Oh no. I'm sorry. Don't cry.
:'''Steven''': ''[wipes off the tears]'' I guess seeing everyone together got me really choked up. ''[bigger tears begin flowing out of his eyes]'' Wait a second. You don't think…?
:'''Garnet''': ''[takes off her visor, opening her third eye]'' Blue Diamond!
:'''Steven''': She's here?!
:'''Garnet''': And she's not alone.
:''[The sky darkens quickly and everyone looks up to the sky, seeing Blue and Yellow Diamond's ships approaching]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, no. It's the Diamonds! ''[runs up to Nanefua]'' Nanefua, get on your Nane-phone! We've got a code blue ''and'' a code yellow!
:'''Garnet''': This is it.
:''[As the Diamond ships approach the beach, they fly overhead them]''
:'''Peridot''': WE'RE OVER HERE, YOU CLODS!
:'''Pearl''': Wha- where are they going?!
:'''Steven''': If they're not here for us, they must be here for the Cluster!
:'''Bismuth''': What's the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': It's a huge earth-destroying geo-weapon that the Diamonds made out of a bajillion gem shards!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[approaching Blue Diamond]'' Blue Diamond, please listen to me! I didn't shatter Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond's right here. It's pretty interesting when you think about it--
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''ENOUGH!'' ''[hurls an energy blast at Steven, knocking him back, only for Alexandrite to catch him]''
:'''Steven''': Wait!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You cannot fathom how much I've mourned, what thousands of years of grief has done to me! ''[unleashes her aura, de-fusing Alexandrite, making everyone (except Connie), fall on their knees and tear up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I know this sword… This is the sword that '''SHATTERED HER!''' ''[angrily shatters the sword as Steven gasps, which made Connie fall down only to be caught by Lion]'' You deserve this-- ''all'' of you!
:'''Steven''': Stop, please!
:'''Amethyst''': Steven…
:'''Pearl''': What do we do?
:'''Steven''': I don't know. She won't listen, she just wants to fight!
:'''Garnet''': Blue Diamond!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Who are you supposed to be?
:'''Garnet''': I am the will of two Gems to care for each other, to protect each other from any threat, no matter how vast or how cruel. You couldn't stop me 5,750 years ago, and you can't stop me now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you, that Ruby and Sapphire that disrupted my court.
:'''Garnet''': This is supposed to be MY day!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You hope to defeat me by clinging to my feet?
:'''Garnet''': I just needed to keep you from taking three steps to the right.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': With all our strength together, we can take her down!
:'''Steven''': That's right! This is our home, our planet, our friends and family! We are the Crystal Gems!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pathetic! You are &lt;big&gt;'''NOTHING!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I told her off, once. I can do it again. ''[jumps off Bismuth's hands and runs up to Yellow Diamond]'' Hey! Yellow Clod! '''''REMEMBER ME?!'''''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': No. ''[zaps and poofs Peridot to her gemstone]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[jumps off Garnet's hands and runs up to the Diamonds]'' Don't do this! Listen to me, ''I'm'' the one you're missing! I'm Pink Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[shocked and angry]'' '''''You!''''' ''[charges towards Steven as he summons his shield]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:''[Yellow Diamond stomps her foot on Steven in fury, knocking him out unconsciously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lapis Lazuli''': What else have you got?! I've only just begun to fight! ''[gets zapped and poofed to her gemstone by Yellow Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked gasp]'' Lapis!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''How miserable. I knew Pink couldn't handle her own colony. But, I gave in. And now, I'm to blame for her fate.''
:'''Steven''': Ah, her thoughts are too strong!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''What good will any of this do? The more I make these Gems suffer, the more I long to see you again, Pink.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': This feeling, I know it!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It must be a trick! Show yourself, foe!
:'''Steven''': I'm not your foe. Please, just listen to me!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': There!
:'''Steven''': ''Please, the fighting has to stop. We aren't enemies. We're family. Please listen to me. I need you to know who I am!!!''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Impossible.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': This aura...
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you! Pink!

===''Legs From Here to Homeworld''===
:'''Garnet''': We can't just hand Steven over to Blue Diamond, she's a shatterer!
:'''Bismuth''': She's not gonna hurt him, look at her. She really thinks he's one of them.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sobbing loudly]'' Somebody make Blue Diamond stop!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Pearl''': It's just… ''[sniffles]'' Blue Diamond's power. She's obviously relieved that Pink Diamond wasn't shattered after all.
:''[Yellow Diamond tries to reactive her ship but fails]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. How could you do this to us, Pink? Why did you let us think you were shattered? Why the strange disguise? Why are you doing a voice? Why didn't you say something at the trial?! And Blue, could you please stop crying? I can't see. ''[wipes her tears, splashing the Gems]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Sorry. ''[sets Steven down]''
:'''Steven''': My mom kept it secret from everyone.
:'''Pearl''': Ahem.
:'''Steven''': Almost everyone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': Well, apparently, Mom… Oh, geez. You don't know what a mom is. Okay, Pink Diamond took the form of Rose Quartz permanently after faking her shattering. Then, Rose Quartz gave up ''that'' form to create a new life with my dad-- me. Rose passed her gemstone and some of her powers onto me, but that's all. I-I don't have any of Pink ''or'' Rose's memories. I'm sorry.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. I'm sure your memories are in there somewhere, Pink.
:'''Steven''': Actually, I go by &quot;Steven.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': We can only do so much, if it was the ''four'' of us.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Oh, no. We can't let ''her'' see this!
:'''Steven''': Who? Who do we need?!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What do you mean, &quot;who?&quot; White.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' White Diamond?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While traveling to Homeworld]''
:'''Steven''': Should I have brought a gift for White Diamond? We ''are'' dropping in unexpectedly, and… I want to make a good first impression. Her help will mean everything for the Corrupted Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Steven...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmph. &quot;Good impression&quot;? We'll be lucky if she ever ''speaks'' to us again after this.
:'''Steven''': But...
:'''Blue Diamond''': The thing is, White... can be... ''difficult''.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we show up in this ship, it will be irrefutable that the last 6,000 years are now the biggest galactic embarrassment that's ever happened. And ''we're'' the ones to blame. (''to Steven'') If you don't want to be in a bubble for the next few millennia, I suggest you let ''me'' do the talking.

===''Familiar''===
:'''Steven''': Pearl!
:'''Pearl''': Steven! ''[runs over to Steven and hugs him]'' Oh, thank the stars! You're okay! What did White Diamond do? Did she hurt you?
:'''Steven''': No, she was like, &quot;Welcome home.&quot; I don't think she understands that I'm not Pink Diamond. Where's Connie? And Garnet and Amethyst?
:'''Pearl''': They're still on the ship. ''[summons a hot dog bag]'' I'm only here because I'm bringing your things. And they consider me one of your things.
:'''Steven''': Yeesh.
:''[Diamond chime plays]''
:'''Pearl''': The Diamond chime -- it's Yellow.
:''[The door opens, revealing Yellow Pearl standing right there]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond, my Diamond has requested your presence in the extraction chamber.
:'''Pearl''': Let's get you into a suit. ''[opens the bag]''
:''[Steven, wearing his yellow swimsuit, Pearl, and Yellow Pearl walk through a yellow hallway]''
:'''Steven''': Swim trunks don't seem very formal.
:'''Pearl''': Trust me, this will be more comfortable than jeans.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Please, call me Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Steven.
:'''Steven''': No, just Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Just Steven.
:'''Steven''': Call me... Lasagna.
:'''Pearl''': Steven, stop. You're going to break her. ''[opens the extraction chamber door]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Have a nice extraction, Pink Lasagna.
:''[Steven walks into the extraction chamber sauna]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink.
:'''Steven''': Hi, Yellow. Cool sauna.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It's new. Have a seat. ''[Steven uses his floating powers to jump up and takes a seat]'' So, you met with White. How was it?
:'''Steven''': All I got to say was, &quot;Hi,&quot; and, &quot;um,&quot; and, &quot;I.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Two and a half words -- that's a record.
:'''Steven''': Two and a half words isn't enough. I still need to talk to White about healing all the corrupted Gems!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. Good luck. White never leaves her own head these days, and she never lets anyone in -- except you, I guess. It's so unfair. I have hundreds of successful crystal system colonies, but you get to see her because your one colony is a failure!
:'''Steven''': Maybe you should just… ''fail?''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks momentarily shocked, then starts laughing]'' Oh, Pink, you always did have quite a knack for making me laugh. You're almost worth the trouble.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[showing up]'' Pink Diamond, my Diamond was requested your presence.
:''[Steven, Pearl, and Blue Pearl walk down a blue hallway]''
:'''Steven''': We barely talked about White at all. She had to rush to do a report, and I couldn't go with her. I get they're, like, busy, 'cause they're dictators and everything, but I need more time! ''[gasps and face-palms]'' I should have asked her what she was doing after the Citron thing!
:'''Pearl''': She'll be at that for a while. Yellow Diamond oversees all aspects of Gem production on every single one of her colonies. And when she's not doing that, she's off with her army, conquering the next one.
:'''Steven''': What about their days off, weekends?
:'''Blue Pearl''': My Diamond is awaiting our arrival.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[turns to Pearl]'' Welcome back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're here! Come in.
:'''Steven''': Okay! ''[runs and jumps into the pool, laughing]'' Whoo-hoo! (''laughing'') It's funny! I -- I live right next to the ocean, but I end up going to space to swim.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[laughs, causing the pool to shake a bit]'' You haven't changed. So silly. So small.
:'''Steven''': I'm not done growing. I'm not sure I can catch up to you and Yellow, though.
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm so glad you're back... Steven.
:'''Steven''': Y-You actually said my name!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Steven. Steee-von? (''chuckles'') It's such a funny sounding name. You're so creative, Pink.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': (''sighs'') This is so weird. Was this some sort of spa day or something? And what about Pink? Did she have a job here, or did she just sit in a room while they were off doing whatever?
:'''Pearl''': Before her colony, Pink used to throw massive balls.
:'''Steven''': ''[surprised]'' She was a juggler?!
:'''Pearl''': No -- Well, yes. But she would also throw parties for the other Diamonds to mark their many accomplishments. Every member of every court would show up to bask in the presence of all four Diamonds.
:'''Steven''': Even White would come?
:'''Pearl''': Oh, yes! Huh. I wonder what's even become of Pink's court.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ♫ Oh, I'll get them all together in one place / And once we're all together face-to-face / I'll show them all the error of their ways / And stop their spread of terror across space! ♫

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I figured it out! Remember back when I was little and maybe kind of annoying, and I couldn't come along on adventures? You guys would still drop everything to hang out with me! That's Pink Diamond! I know I can do this! Just watch -- I'm gonna throw a huge ball, and I'm gonna invite everyone!

===''Together Alone''===
:'''Pearl''': The Pebbles have been working all night. What do you think?
:'''Steven''': It almost feels like home.
:'''Garnet''': Almost.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': A ball? We haven't had a ball in 6,000 years.
:'''Blue Diamond''': We haven't had Pink in 6,000 years!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! When White Diamond shows up we can tell her why we need her help on Earth!
:'''Blue Diamond''': And, this can also mark the beginning of Era 3.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You're right, it's brilliant.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Yellow! Thank you, Blue!
:'''Blue Diamond''': If White is going to be there everything has to be perfect! Pink, can you manage this on your own? Our Pearls can help you get started.
:'''Blue Pearl''': At your service, Pink Diamond.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Make sure you go through all of our customs with Pink, since she has so much trouble recalling her past here on Homeworld.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Yes, My Diamond.
:'''Pearl''': Era 3! Steven, you're already changing the world!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! Come on, party Pearls!
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': We are at your command, Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Just call me Steven.
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': Whatever you command, Pink Diamond.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Balloons everywhere! Confetti cannons too!
:'''Amethyst''': Dibs on being the confetti cannon!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Cannons are ''forbidden'' inside palace walls. These &quot;balloons&quot; you're referring to, are unprecedented and therefore out of the question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond! Your subjects will do the dancing for you! Why would a Diamond want to dance?
:'''Steven''': Because dancing's fun!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': What is &quot;fun&quot;?
:'''Connie''': You know, it's when you do something you wanna do, just because it feels good.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': I don't think we do that here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': The Sapphire will need to enter with the other Sapphires of course, and the Ruby will need to enter with the guard.
:'''Steven''': Woah, woah, woah. Are you talking about Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Garnet? Does &quot;that&quot; call herself a Garnet? What would you have her do? Enter with the Demantoids, the Hessonites, the Pyropes? Pink, I'm being very generous, but you can't expect me to-
:'''Garnet''': I won't go.
:'''Steven''': Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': At least the Sapphire in there has some sense.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Everyone, behold! The daunting, beauty and elegance that is, Yellow Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Not a bad turnout, Pink.
:'''Steven''': I appreciate your attendance, Yellow.
:'''Blue Pearl''': Ahem, everyone prepare yourselves emotionally for the overpowering elegance that is, Blue Diamond.
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're doing great.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Blue.
:'''White Pearl''': To those in attendance of the Era 3 ball, White Diamond... has more important things to attend to.
:'''Steven''': WHAT?!
:'''White Pearl''': Therefore, I will be here to observe in her place. Welcome to Era 3.
:'''Steven''': Gra!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': (''through gritted teeth'') Pink, what are you doing?!
:'''Stevonnie''': I was just dancing! (''sees they have fused and everybody else looks in shock'')
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pink, this is completely unacceptable! Unfuse or I'll make you!
:''[Ruby and Sapphire fuse and become Garnet]''
:'''Garnet''': You'll have to go through me!
:'''Pearl''': (''gasp'') And me! (''Runs over to Amethyst and fuses into Opal'')
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah!
:''[two jades quickly fuse as well]''
:'''Lemon Jade''': And me! ''[Opal and Stevonnie look at Garnet, and she shrugs]'' I knew it! I knew I couldn't be the only one!
:''[Yellow Diamond strikes the Jade Fusion, Opal, and Garnet with her lightning powers, causing them all to poof]''
:'''Stevonnie''': Opal! Garnet!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink, you've gone too far even for you. ''[picks up Stevonnie and throws them into a dark room]'' Stay in here and think about what you've done!
:'''Stevonnie''': No, wait!
:''[Yellow Diamond closes the door, ends the episode]''

===''Escapism''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I guess I have to face, that in this awful place, I shouldn't show a trace... of doubt. / But pulled against the grain, I feel a little pain, that I would rather do... without. / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / Free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / from here. ♫

===''Change Your Mind''===
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and looks up at the prison tower window]'' Oh, right -- prison.
:''[Blue Diamond enters]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you! Making a scene like that.
:''' Steven''': We weren't trying to make a scene! We were just... ''[turns to see that Connie is not present]'' dancing?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you -- making a scene like that!
:'''Steven''': Whoa -- dejá blue.
:'''Connie''': We didn't mean any harm! I asked Steven to dance; he wasn't trying to cause trouble!
:'''Blue Diamond''': What do you know about this, human?
:'''Connie''': ''[chuckles]'' You think I've never been grounded before?
:'''Blue Diamond''': &quot;Grounded?&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': This isn't normal. How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[defensive]'' I didn't, I... and I'm doing it again... aren't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What... are you doing?
:'''Steven''': I'm taking back my friends!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[closes her eyes as she looks up from Steven to readdress Blue; annoyed]'' What are you doing, Blue? Take Pink back to the tower.
:'''Blue Diamond''': She prefers to be called &quot;Steven.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[slams her hand so forcefully against her throne that it cracks, stands up and assumes an angered stance]'' What are you talking about?! You can't keep bending the rules for her, Blue! She has to set an example, and ''we'' have to set an example! If we bend the rules for her, we have to bend them for everyone!
:'''Connie''': Well, maybe you should!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Take them back to the tower, now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I won't.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Then I'll do it myself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against &lt;big&gt;'''ME?!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You'd hurt a fellow Diamond?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Didn't we hurt Pink?! She was suffering in silence for ages -- just like our Gems -- just like me! And I know ''you're'' suffering in silence, too!
:''[Yellow Diamond claps her fist and uses her lightning power on Blue, causing her to begin to destabilize and scream]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[pulls out his shield and chucks it towards Yellow Diamond's hand, disrupting her concentration]'' You don't have to do this!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Yes, I do! This is what White Diamond expects of all of us. From a thin flake of mica to the deepest, hardest stone, we all must make sacrifices for the sake of our perfect empire.
:'''Steven''': Does ''this'' look perfect to you?! My dad says if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': And that means... what?
:'''Steven''': It means if you try and make this empire perfect -- if you just wipe away everything you see as flawed -- you lose all the things that make you happy -- like hot dogs.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Or our Pink.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Uhh... ''[falls to the ground on her knees in an uncharacteristic emotional breakdown]'' Stop. Stop it, Blue. Stop using your power on me...!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Hey, White, I know I was in there with you for a second, but I barely got to talk to you at all. There are so many Gems that are hurting right now. Even Blue and Yellow are hurting. You should hear what they have to say. ''[to Blue and Yellow; whispers]'' This is it.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[struggling]'' We... W-we... We need to talk! About us. I've conquered so many worlds for the sake of the empire. I do everything you ask, and I do it all perfectly. But your very high standards put us all under a ''lot'' of pressure. A Gem could crack under so much pressure. We Diamonds may be hard, but we're also brittle.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[steps forward]'' White, we used to be close. Don't you remember? When Pink would make us laugh -- all those silly things she did for no reason. There was a reason. She wanted us to be happy together. But we weren't, and we're still not. I know my purpose isn't to be happy, but I find it harder and harder to enforce your rules when they make me miserable. When they make us all miserable.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': Well, what do you know? It's Rainbow 2.0! Now, this is a fine mess we're in. (''gasps'') That won't do. (''blows raspberry'') Rainbow Quartz powers, activate! Ah, yes. Now that's two stones, with one bird.
:''[Steven and new reformed Pearl unfuse]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wow! Nice form, Pearl.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, ''[chuckles]'' thank you. I'm particularly excited about the jacket. Aah! Steven! We fused!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Steven''': Almost. ''[looks down at Ruby and Sapphire's gems in his hands]'' Garnet, we're up against a giant robot. We need your help. Please come out. I'm here! I love you! ''[hugs them tightly as he begins to glow and starts fusing, to form Sunstone]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunstone''': Awwwwwwwwwww yeah! You better step off! Chillax, my dudes. Your rockin' pal Sunstone is holdin' it down.
:'''Pearl''': Wow!
:'''Amethyst''': Holy...
:'''Connie''': All right!
:'''Peridot''': Unbelievable!
:'''Sunstone''': Oh, you better believe it.
:'''Peridot''': Okay!
:'''Connie''': Sunstone, what are we gonna do? White Diamond's never going to listen, and she's never going to let us leave.
:'''Sunstone''': If she won't listen, we'll ''make'' her listen.
:'''Amethyst''': And ''how'' are we gonna do that?
:'''Sunstone''': I know she's in there. We'll bust into her head and change her mind.
:'''Everyone''': Right!
:'''Sunstone''': Let's take that bully down! ''[to the viewers]'' But remember kids: if you ever have to deal with a bully, be sure to tell an adult. ''[yanks Pearl and Amethyst onto their shoulders and sprints towards the giant pink foot of the ship]'' Ally-oop! ''[summons her suction cups]'' Kids, don't try this at home. Ha! Bungacowa!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': We need to be bigger.
:'''Steven''': Then let's fuse. All four of us. It's the only way we're gonna get up to her head.
:'''Amethyst''': I'm in!
:'''Pearl''': I'm in, too.
:'''Garnet''': Then it's decided. It's time to form Obsidian.
:''[Connie, Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis back away to give some space for the Crystal Gems to perform their fusion dance; Obsidian is formed by letting out a big loud cry for battle]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[amazed]'' They're HU-U-U-U-GE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You're wrong! I'm not my mom!
:'''White Diamond''': But don't you know things about her that you couldn't possibly know?
:'''Steven''': I-I've just been connecting with her. My powers, they-they help me to connect to others. I'm not her. I'm just feeling her feelings.
:'''White Diamond''': Isn't it obvious? Even though you've embedded yourself in that human child, your light can't help shining through!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Don't listen to her Steven! She's just trying to mess with you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this?! Where is Pink?
:'''Pink Steven''': She's gone.
:'''White Diamond''': What did you say? Answer me!
:'''Pink Steven''': ''[shouting]'' She's &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-NE!!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': Agh! Don't you raise your shield at me! I only want you to be yourself! If you can't do that, I'll do it &lt;big&gt;FOR YOU!!!&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Steven! ''[rushes to Steven and hugs him]'' Are you back together? Are you you?
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Yeah! I’m me! I’ve always been me.
:'''White Diamond''': ''NO!'' You are Pink Diamond! That is Pink Diamond's gem! You do not look like this! You do not sound like this! You are not half-human! You're just... acting like a child!
:'''Steven''': I ''am'' a child. What's your excuse?
:'''White Diamond''': ''[starts blushing, and notices the Gems under her control doing the same]'' What's happening? What is this? What's wrong with them? They're turning... pink! I don't understand, I'm in control, I-- ''[gasps]'' Something's wrong! With ME! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this? I feel... ridiculous. Yellow, Blue...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[gasps]'' She's off-color...
:'''White Diamond''': This can't be happening. I can't have a flaw, I'm supposed to be flawless! If I'm not perfect then... who am I? If you're not Pink, then... who are you? Who is ''anyone?''
:'''Steven''': You know, if you just let everyone be whoever they are, maybe you could let yourself be whoever you are too.
:'''White Diamond''': But I'm not supposed to be like this! I'm supposed to know better, I'm supposed to ''be'' better, I'm supposed to make ''everything'' better!
:'''Steven''': You can. But first, you're gonna have to leave your own head.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict our long journey through space will soon be over.
:'''Lars''': Welcome home, guys.
:'''Rhodonite''': We finally made it! Earth! No more running, no more hiding! No more Diamond Authority! ''[they notice the Diamonds, who have heard everything]'' Well, we're cracked.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sadie''': Lars... Look at you! You're... you're a space pirate!
:'''Lars''': Look at you! You're a rock star!
:'''Sadie''': ''[Laughs] Well... ''[Laughs]''
:''[They both laugh in unison]''
:'''Lars''': I think it suits us!
:'''Sadie''': Yeah. Me, too!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me. / I don’t need you to love me, I love me. / But I want you to know you could know me, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / Change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind. ♫

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149137</id>
      <parentid>3149029</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:26:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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      <comment>/* The Trial */</comment>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
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{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Stuck Together''===
:'''Aquamarine''': Say, Rose, how do I look?
:'''Steven''': Awful, small and mean!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Topaz''': What was I thinking?
:'''Aquamarine''': That's the problem with you fusions. Sooner or later, you will become ''sentimental.'' ''[the ship rumbles, coming to a stop and a notification pops up]'' We're here. Look, just… unfuse, and we'll never speak of this again.

===''The Trial''===
:'''Steven''': ''[speaking to himself]'' I know my mom did something really bad. Whatever Homeworld has in store for me…I'm ready!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prosecuting Zircon''': Defending a rebel? Isn't that… ''treason?'' ''[chuckles]''
:'''Defense Zircon''': I was ''assigned'' to this!
:''[Blue and Yellow Pearl warp in]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': All rise for the luminous Yellow Diamond! ''[poses]''
:'''Blue Pearl''': And the lustrous Blue Diamond. ''[bows]''
:''[Blue and Yellow Diamond warp in behind them, staring down at Steven]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[looking around]'' Where is the accused?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks down at Steven]'' Is that Rose Quartz? Look at this ''hideous'' she's taken. Forget the trial, we should shatter just for looking like that.
:'''Blue Diamond''': No. I want to hear her make her case. I want to know what she thinks we're going to do with her. Because  I want to do something ''worse''.
:''[Steven gulps nervously]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[warps in their throne chairs]'' Fine. Let's just get on with it, shall we?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I did it!
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wha… What, what?! Stop!
:'''Blue Diamond''': No! I want to hear what she has to say.
:''[Steven is elevated up to the Diamonds' height]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': State your name for the record, please.
:'''Steven''': I, um… I am Rose Quartz… and I'm guilty.
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wait! No, don't say that!
:'''Steven''': Everything you guys I did, I did. And I did it by myself. I'm sorry. I'll accept any punishment you want to give me. ''[points down to Lars]'' Just let him go! And leave the Earth alone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Ha! Sounds like a solid confession to me.
:'''Blue Diamond''': How? How did you do it? How did you shatter Pink Diamond?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Um, well…I did it on Earth in front of Pink Diamond's palanquin. I was probably like &quot;Stop!&quot; And she was all like, &quot;No!&quot; So we fought -- I think. And she probably did some cool moves. I probably did some cool stuff, too, some jump-kicks and stuff. But I was most likely deeply conflicted about deciding to shatter her. Definitely crying. I probably had to use the Breaking Point to do it.
:'''Blue Diamond''': It was a ''sword!'' ''[covers her eyes, crying and a blue light fills the room, making everyone except Lars tear up]'' You… shattered her… with a sword! ''[starts sobbing]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[walks up and comforts Blue]'' That's quite enough testimony from you! We shall take a short recess.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Defense Zircon''': What are you saying in there?! &quot;Maybe&quot; this, &quot;probably&quot; that! Oh, what do you mean, ''probably''?!
:'''Steven''': Look I just... I don't actually know how it happened, okay?
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't ''know''?!
:'''Steven''': I...
:'''Defense Zircon''': ''[grabs Steven by the shirt collar and picks him up]'' Don't tumble my rocks! Both our gems are on the line! Did you do this or not?!
:'''Steven''': It was me, alright! ''[Defense Zircon let's go of his shirt and drops him]'' Rose Quartz did it, and I've got her gem, so I'm the one who's got to pay for this.
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't know how it happened. ''[Steven shakes his head]'' I get it. There's a reason they want you to explain how you did it.
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Defense Zircon''': It's because it doesn't make sense!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You think you can get away, Rose? You stood your ground on that little speck called Earth. But you're on ''our'' world now.

===''Off Colors''===
:'''Padparadscha''': Oh my gosh, something incredible is going to happen to Lars!

===''Lars' Head''===
:'''Steven''': But it doesn't feel right to just leave you here.
:'''Lars''': You said yourself that everyone on this planet is out to get you. You won't be safe until you're back on Earth.
:'''Steven''': But, Lars--
:'''Lars''': Don't argue with me! You're always trying to help me. You brought me back to life. Just let me be somebody who deserved it.

===''Dewey Wins''===

===''Gemcation''===

===''Raising the Barn''===

===''Back to the Kindergarten''===
:'''Peridot''': This used to make sense to me. I thought life was generated in a kindergarten. Formless, aimless energy channeled into new, useful gems. But life doesn't start in a kindergarten. It ends here. I've gotten used to plants everywhere. Bugs and breeze and sunshine...all of that has been sucked out of this place. 

===''Sadie Killer''===

===''Kevin Party''===

===''Lars of the Stars''===
:'''Emerald''': ''[on screen]'' It's over! I've got you now you miserable off-colors!
:'''Lars''': You'll ''never'' take us alive, Emerald!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lars''': You don't get it, do you, Steven? ''[starts tearing up and sniffles]'' It should be me. ''[starts crying]'' ''I'm'' the one that should be hanging out with the Cool Kids! She's getting back at me for everything I've done!
:'''Connie''': Do you really think Sadie is living her life ''just'' to get back at you?
:'''Lars''': Why else would she be having so much fun without me?!
:'''Steven''': Because life goes on, no matter what happens. She was so upset when she found out you'd be stuck in space, Lars. She really misses you, but, she can't stay sad forever. She started hanging out with the cool kids. She quit the Big Donut all because she needed to do ''something'' to feel better.
:'''Connie''': And look at you! Steven said you'd be hiding in some cave on Homeworld, but you're not! You're out here fighting for freedom with all your new friends in tow! Are ''you'' doing any of this to hurt Sadie?
:'''Lars''': No! I'm doing this because I have to. ''[tears up]'' I'd never do this to hurt Sadie because-
:'''Steven''': Because!
:'''Connie''': Because!
:'''Both''': Because you're best friends!
:''[Lars watches them fuse into Stevonnie]''
:'''Stevonnie''': And best friends wouldn't do anything to hurt each other!

===''Jungle Moon''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[squealing in excitement]'' Whoa, cool! Yellow! ''[jumps up to her chair]'' Hey, Yellow.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Oh, you're still here.
:'''Stevonnie''': What are you doing?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm commanding the dropships to colonize this planet.
:'''Stevonnie''': I wanna command a dropship!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Well, when you have your ''own'' colony, you can command whatever you want.
:'''Stevonnie''': I want a colony! ''[Yellow Diamond presses buttons on the panel with four diamonds]'' I want one now! ''[screen unlocks revealing a dropship on the panel]'' What's this?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm contacting the leader of the fleet.
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[amazed]'' Let me do it! ''[starts pressing buttons on the screen but Yellow Diamond grabs her arm]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' DON'T TOUCH THAT!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[irritated]'' Why ''not''? You have so many worlds and I don't even have ''one''! It's not fair! I want ONE! I want my own ''army''! I want my own ''planet''! I deserve it! I'm just as important as ''YOU''!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' Then why don't you act like it, Pink?!
:''[Stevonnie walks away, holding their arm, angry; approach a window and their fist clenches; Pink Diamond is seen through their reflection and the hand punches the glass smashing it; She suddenly wakes up from the dream, falling out of the hammock on the ground]''
:'''Stevonnie''': (''talking through Connie'') Whoa! ''[breathing hard]'' Steven, what was that? (''talking through Steven'') Diamonds. I'm having Diamond dreams again. But, why now? Why ''here''? ''[looks up and see a mural of Yellow Diamond]'' No way.

===''Your Mother and Mine''===
:'''Garnet''': Come on, everyone. Let me tell you the story of the ''real'' Rose Quartz. ''[Flashback story begins; narrating]'' It was Era 1. The Diamonds, unique in their flawlessness, sought to expand their perfection across the galaxy. And it was for this purpose that Pink Diamond chose her first colony-- the planet Earth. On Earth, every Gem was made to serve Pink Diamond, each with a role to play in her world's perfect empire. In comparison to their creator, their existence was ordinary. They were life-forms only meant to fit their mold, and no one had ever dared to think otherwise. Until, there was Rose Quartz. In stature, she was no different than any other Quartz. And for a time, she did her best to carry out her Diamond's bidding. However, she began to take notice of her strange colony and the life that existed there. Curiosity turned to appreciation. Appreciation turned to fondness. And fondness… turned to love. Soon she was unable to keep her findings secret, and she began asking her fellow Gems if they knew of the life on Earth and what they made of it. She continued to pry her fellow Kindergartners with questions ''so'' odd, that word of her eventually made its way to Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz was summoned at once.
:'''Pink Diamond''': Quartz, what have you been saying down there?
:'''Rose''': My Diamond, it has come to my attention that your colony, Earth, bears life. While I know these organic life-forms serve no purpose, I ask that we leave this planet and spare their lives.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Pink Diamond thought for a moment, and then laughed, a wicked, empty sound.
:'''Pink Diamond''': ''[laughing]'' You wish to save these life-forms at the expense of our own? Ha! Don't be absurd. Return to your post, and I will forget your insolence.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' And with that, Rose Quartz was dragged back to her kindergarten for duty. ''[A gem drags Rose away and she continues working]'' Only Rose could no longer stand to continue aiding in the destruction of Earth. She had no choice. She had to fight.
:'''Rose''': ''[stops working and jumps into the air, changing her uniform into a dress before destroying an injector, stands on the broken injector and speaks to the other Quartzes]'' Is this what you want -- to inject, to build?! I've seen the life that exists for itself, and it lives here! Will you destroy it, or will you join it?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Rose's message began to resonate to Pink Diamond's dismay. Her colony was falling apart. So, like a coward, she called for her Diamond allies, Yellow and Blue, to help. But Rose also found herself with allies, other Gems that were cast out for being wrong-- a Pearl who belonged to no one… a Bismuth who built weapons for rebels instead of towers for tyrants… An entirely new fusion, for not power, but for love… And countless others, all inspired by Rose to live for ourselves on Earth. She was our leader. And Earth was our precious home. And those who fought to save it became known as…the Crystal Gems!
:'''Rhodonite''': Unbelievable!
:'''Rutile Twins''': There were Gems like us?
:'''Padparadscha''': Fighting.
:'''Fluorite''': For… their… freedom?
:'''Garnet''': Yes, and we were fearless! ''[Flashback resumes; narrating]'' It was an impossible fight, but we fought anyway. And the more Gems who saw us, the more who joined. But Pink Diamond's forces proved too strong. Rose feared that soon she would have nothing left to protect. Rose Quartz drew her rebel blade… and shattered Pink Diamond, saving the Earth for all time from her reign of terror.
:'''Rutile Twins''': Wow! That's incredible! I don't believe it!
:'''Lars''': ''[to Steven]'' Your mom did all that? That's awesome!
:'''Rhodonite''': Wait. What about the rest? What happened after that?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The other Diamonds were furious. In a last-ditch attempt to wipe out the Rebellion, the Diamonds launched a direct attack against Earth. And in their fury, they used their powers to end the fighting once and for all.
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict this story won't have a happy ending.
:'''Rutile Twins''': We were all told different stories. But they all ended the same way.
:'''Fluorite''': With Rose Quartz… being… defeated.
:'''Rhodonite''': This new version of the story is even worse! So, she was great, and they beat her? What are we supposed to get out of this -- that we can never win?!
:'''Garnet''': We haven't yet, but we can, and we will. They said they annihilated Rose's rebellion, but here ''we'' are. They said they annihilated all of you on Homeworld, but here ''you'' are! They think they have us on the run, but they're the ones that are running from the truth. And the truth is we... are... everywhere!
:'''Rhodonite''': But how many more of us can there be?
:'''Steven''': Way more than you think! I was only on Homeworld for, like, an hour before I ran in to you guys. There must be Off Colors all over the place.
:'''Garnet''': Rose used to say there was something about Earth -- something that set Gems free. But it's not just Earth. Look at you. Love, freedom -- it's universal. You all prove it every moment you live as yourselves. You can show everyone.
:'''Fluorite''': We… can do that?
:'''Lars''': Not while we're floating out here like sitting ducks.

===''The Big Show''===

===''Pool Hopping''===
:'''Garnet''': I think I get it.
:'''Steven''': Hm?
:'''Garnet''': Why my future vision has been so off. I have to change the way I think about you. 
:'''Steven''': What?
:'''Garnet''': I've been looking into probable futures where you act like a child. I keep expecting you to run from responsibility and to turn to me for help, but you don't do that anymore. Those futures aren't probable at all. There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision. I just need to factor in that you've grown up.

===''Letters to Lars''===

===''Can't Go Back''===
:'''Blue Diamond''': But this is what you wanted.
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and gasps; turns to see Lapis is nowhere to be seen]'' Lapis? ''[faces forward, seeing the silhouettes of Blue, Yellow, and Pink Diamond]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': You begged us for a colony of your own, and now all you want to do is be rid of it. First there were too many organics. Then their cities were too difficult to dismantle, and -- and now these Crystal Gems. We're tired of your excuses, Pink.
:'''Steven''': The Diamonds.
:'''Blue Diamond''': This Rose Quartz can't hurt you. You can't be swayed by a few unruly Gems. ''[Holds her hand up in front of Pink Diamond as she's about to speak]'' Enough! You must understand, you are a Diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you. You don't even have to do anything. Just smile and wave. Show everyone you're unfazed by this little uprising. Your Gems will fall into line, and these Crystal Gems will be no more. As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Lapis flies away, Steven looks at the mural of Pink Diamond and turns to Lion]''
:'''Steven''': Lion, I need you to take me to Pearl.

===''A Single Pale Rose''===
:'''Steven''': It better not turn out that her phone was in her pocket...or she left it on the dresser or dropped it in the toilet. Seems about as likely as putting it away in your repressed war memories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Steven returns from Pearl's gem after learning the truth about how Rose Quartz &quot;shattered&quot; Pink Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': I know.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[tearing up]'' I wanted to tell you for ''so'' long.
:'''Steven''': Mom was Pink Diamond.
:''[Garnet and Amethyst stand in shock behind Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?'''&lt;/big&gt;

===''Now We're Only Falling Apart''===
:'''Amethyst''': Let me get this straight. Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gems, Steven's mom, was actually Pink Diamond?!
:'''Steven''': She faked her own shattering, and reformed to be Rose all the time.
:'''Pearl''': Pink Diamond's final command to me was that no one could know, but now that Steven does, I can finally tell you all everything!
:'''Amethyst''': Phew! I mean, a pink lion, a pink sword, and now Pink Diamond?! Huh, if you told me Rose invented cotton candy, I'd believe it. Right, Garnet? Uh, Garnet?
:'''Garnet''': ''[shaking and gets up]'' Rose. She... she... ''[struggles to stay stable and defuses into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': ''[betrayed and heartbroken with anger]'' '''SHE LIED TO US!''' She lied about EVERYTHING! ''[freezes up the floor]'' She held our hands, looked us right in the eyes, and told us to never question who we are as Garnet. We never questioned ourselves, or her!
:'''Ruby''': We couldn't have known!
:'''Sapphire''': No, you couldn't have known. You never know what's going on. That's what I'm for!
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': But I never looked into her, I trusted her. I let her make fools of us all! ''[storms over to the warp pad]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire, wait!
:'''Steven''': Guys! ''[slips on the ice]''
:'''Ruby''': Please…We can just stay calm and talk about this, right? Let's just, talk.
:'''Sapphire''': Talk about what? How our relationship is based on a lie? What else is there to say? ''[warps away to Rose's Fountain]''
:'''Pearl''': Ruby, I am so sorry.
:'''Steven''': Come on, Pearl. Help me explain everything to Sapphire.
:'''Pearl''': Right.
:'''Steven''': Sit tight, Ruby. We'll go and get Sapphire.
:'''Ruby''': Okay. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sapphire''': ''[grieving]'' Everything we were running from, she was right there all along…using us for her little war…smiling at us with those knowing eyes… Making me believe in a better future that I couldn't see, because it wasn't real. And now here we are, our friends, shattered, and corrupted…of course she was a Diamond. What a long road she took to torture us all like this.
:'''Steven''': It wasn't like that. You know she didn't want anyone to get hurt.
:'''Sapphire''': I don't know that! I clearly don't know anything.
:'''Pearl''': You deserve to know everything. I was given to Pink Diamond just a few thousand years before she was given the Earth. I was supposed to make her happy, I just never could.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Is everything alright, my Diamond? You seem troubled.
:'''Rose''': All this life that's been growing wild here on Earth…none of it will survive my invasion. We're not creating life from nothing. We're ''taking'' life, and leaving nothing behind.
:'''Pearl''': Forgive me, my Diamond. I shouldn't have brought you to such a place.
:'''Rose''': No. I needed to see this.
:''[scene shifts back to the fountain]''
:'''Steven''': So she ''did'' want to protect Earth. She didn't realize what the colony was doing to the planet.
:'''Sapphire''': So what?! She suddenly started to care about Earth? Why did she have to rope us into all this? Why couldn't she just stop the colonization herself?
:'''Pearl''': She ''tried''. When she told the other Diamonds she didn't want to go through with the colony, they told her to finish what she started. When she told the other Diamonds she wanted to preserve life on Earth, they created the zoo and threw a handful of humans in. She did everything she could as Pink Diamond. But her status meant nothing to Blue and Yellow. So she decided to make a stand, as someone they couldn't ignore. She was going to scare every Gem off the planet. But everything changed when she saw…your fusion.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Before Garnet, Rose was only fighting for Earth. But Garnet changed everything. Rose wanted to fight for her, she wanted to fight for Gems! And maybe she was foolish, and maybe even...selfish, but she was-
:'''Sapphire''': Following us.
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Sapphire''': This whole time, we thought we were following her, but she was following ''us''. How could she not after you swept her off her feet?

===''What's your Problem''===

===''The Question''===

===''Made of Honor''===
:'''Steven''': So, my Dad will finish playing the music, and then next you'll do the &quot;I do's.&quot; And then I'll say… &quot;I now pronounce you Garnet.&quot; And then you fuse! Everyone will cheer!
:'''Sapphire''': Everyone… who survived.
:'''Ruby''': Huh?
:'''Sapphire''': Oh, it's just… There's so many old friends who won't be able to come. All the Crystal Gems who were corrupted and bubbled in the basement.
:'''Ruby''': Maybe we could bring the bubbles up here?
:'''Sapphire''': No, no. It's not safe. We can't risk them getting out.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Hey everyone. Did you guys &quot;Bismi-th&quot; me?
:''[Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby and Amethyst drop their sodas simultaneously]''
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I win! Also, less importantly, who are you?
:'''Steven''': I… invited Bismuth! I hope that's cool.
:'''Sapphire''': ''[slowly walks up to her]'' Bismuth. ''[hugs her]''
:'''Bismuth''': Whoa, Sapphire!
:'''Pearl and Ruby''': Bismuth! ''[tackle her to the floor, and begin nuzzling her]''
:'''Sapphire''': You wouldn't believe what we've all been through. I'm so sorry! We should've-
:'''Bismuth''': Look, I'm right there with you, Steven filled me in.
:'''Peridot''': So, is anyone going to introduce me?
:'''Amethyst''': Let's give 'em some space.

===''Reunited''===
:'''Steven''': Dearly beloved Gems, humans, lions big and small, living gourds, Onion, we are gathered here today to celebrate Ruby and Sapphire, two of my favorite people, who combine into one of my other favorite people! You all probably know her as Garnet. She's their love, given form. Now it's your turn to talk about that.
:'''Ruby''': I know this is all kind of silly, I mean, we've been together for 5,750 years.
:'''Sapphire''': And 8 months.
:'''Ruby''': I used to feel like I wasn't much good, just one of me on my own. But when we're together, it feels like it's okay to just be me. So I wanna be me, with you, an-and, not even the Diamonds will come between us. And if they try, we'll beat em up!
:'''Sapphire''': Ruby, my future used to look like one single, obvious stream, unbending 'til the end of time. In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures, streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will. ''[beat]'' What I mean is, you changed my life. And then, I changed your life. And now, we changed our lives.
:'''Steven''': Bismuth, the rings.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[gently bumps Bismuth]'' Hey, Bismuth, that's your cue.
:''[Bismuth, touched and crying by the vows, approaches them with the rings]''
:'''Steven''': Ruby, do you take this Gem to have and to hold, on this and every other planet in the universe!?
:'''Ruby''': I DO!
:'''Steven''': And Sapphire, do you-
:'''Sapphire''': Yes.
:'''Steven''': ''[whispering]'' You didn't let me finish.
:'''Sapphire''': I'm just very excited.
:'''Steven''': Then by the power vested in me by the state of Delmarva, I now pronounce you… Garnet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': What a wonderful idea. Humans found a way to make a moment's decision last forever. I won't need future vision to know I'll always remember this.
:'''Steven''': I'm so glad. ''[starts tearing up]''
:'''Garnet''': Oh no. I'm sorry. Don't cry.
:'''Steven''': ''[wipes off the tears]'' I guess seeing everyone together got me really choked up. ''[bigger tears begin flowing out of his eyes]'' Wait a second. You don't think…?
:'''Garnet''': ''[takes off her visor, opening her third eye]'' Blue Diamond!
:'''Steven''': She's here?!
:'''Garnet''': And she's not alone.
:''[The sky darkens quickly and everyone looks up to the sky, seeing Blue and Yellow Diamond's ships approaching]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, no. It's the Diamonds! ''[runs up to Nanefua]'' Nanefua, get on your Nane-phone! We've got a code blue ''and'' a code yellow!
:'''Garnet''': This is it.
:''[As the Diamond ships approach the beach, they fly overhead them]''
:'''Peridot''': WE'RE OVER HERE, YOU CLODS!
:'''Pearl''': Wha- where are they going?!
:'''Steven''': If they're not here for us, they must be here for the Cluster!
:'''Bismuth''': What's the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': It's a huge earth-destroying geo-weapon that the Diamonds made out of a bajillion gem shards!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[approaching Blue Diamond]'' Blue Diamond, please listen to me! I didn't shatter Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond's right here. It's pretty interesting when you think about it--
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''ENOUGH!'' ''[hurls an energy blast at Steven, knocking him back, only for Alexandrite to catch him]''
:'''Steven''': Wait!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You cannot fathom how much I've mourned, what thousands of years of grief has done to me! ''[unleashes her aura, de-fusing Alexandrite, making everyone (except Connie), fall on their knees and tear up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I know this sword… This is the sword that '''SHATTERED HER!''' ''[angrily shatters the sword as Steven gasps, which made Connie fall down only to be caught by Lion]'' You deserve this-- ''all'' of you!
:'''Steven''': Stop, please!
:'''Amethyst''': Steven…
:'''Pearl''': What do we do?
:'''Steven''': I don't know. She won't listen, she just wants to fight!
:'''Garnet''': Blue Diamond!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Who are you supposed to be?
:'''Garnet''': I am the will of two Gems to care for each other, to protect each other from any threat, no matter how vast or how cruel. You couldn't stop me 5,750 years ago, and you can't stop me now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you, that Ruby and Sapphire that disrupted my court.
:'''Garnet''': This is supposed to be MY day!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You hope to defeat me by clinging to my feet?
:'''Garnet''': I just needed to keep you from taking three steps to the right.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': With all our strength together, we can take her down!
:'''Steven''': That's right! This is our home, our planet, our friends and family! We are the Crystal Gems!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pathetic! You are &lt;big&gt;'''NOTHING!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I told her off, once. I can do it again. ''[jumps off Bismuth's hands and runs up to Yellow Diamond]'' Hey! Yellow Clod! '''''REMEMBER ME?!'''''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': No. ''[zaps and poofs Peridot to her gemstone]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[jumps off Garnet's hands and runs up to the Diamonds]'' Don't do this! Listen to me, ''I'm'' the one you're missing! I'm Pink Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[shocked and angry]'' '''''You!''''' ''[charges towards Steven as he summons his shield]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:''[Yellow Diamond stomps her foot on Steven in fury, knocking him out unconsciously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lapis Lazuli''': What else have you got?! I've only just begun to fight! ''[gets zapped and poofed to her gemstone by Yellow Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked gasp]'' Lapis!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''How miserable. I knew Pink couldn't handle her own colony. But, I gave in. And now, I'm to blame for her fate.''
:'''Steven''': Ah, her thoughts are too strong!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''What good will any of this do? The more I make these Gems suffer, the more I long to see you again, Pink.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': This feeling, I know it!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It must be a trick! Show yourself, foe!
:'''Steven''': I'm not your foe. Please, just listen to me!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': There!
:'''Steven''': ''Please, the fighting has to stop. We aren't enemies. We're family. Please listen to me. I need you to know who I am!!!''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Impossible.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': This aura...
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you! Pink!

===''Legs From Here to Homeworld''===
:'''Garnet''': We can't just hand Steven over to Blue Diamond, she's a shatterer!
:'''Bismuth''': She's not gonna hurt him, look at her. She really thinks he's one of them.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sobbing loudly]'' Somebody make Blue Diamond stop!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Pearl''': It's just… ''[sniffles]'' Blue Diamond's power. She's obviously relieved that Pink Diamond wasn't shattered after all.
:''[Yellow Diamond tries to reactive her ship but fails]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. How could you do this to us, Pink? Why did you let us think you were shattered? Why the strange disguise? Why are you doing a voice? Why didn't you say something at the trial?! And Blue, could you please stop crying? I can't see. ''[wipes her tears, splashing the Gems]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Sorry. ''[sets Steven down]''
:'''Steven''': My mom kept it secret from everyone.
:'''Pearl''': Ahem.
:'''Steven''': Almost everyone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': Well, apparently, Mom… Oh, geez. You don't know what a mom is. Okay, Pink Diamond took the form of Rose Quartz permanently after faking her shattering. Then, Rose Quartz gave up ''that'' form to create a new life with my dad-- me. Rose passed her gemstone and some of her powers onto me, but that's all. I-I don't have any of Pink ''or'' Rose's memories. I'm sorry.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. I'm sure your memories are in there somewhere, Pink.
:'''Steven''': Actually, I go by &quot;Steven.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': We can only do so much, if it was the ''four'' of us.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Oh, no. We can't let ''her'' see this!
:'''Steven''': Who? Who do we need?!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What do you mean, &quot;who?&quot; White.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' White Diamond?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While traveling to Homeworld]''
:'''Steven''': Should I have brought a gift for White Diamond? We ''are'' dropping in unexpectedly, and… I want to make a good first impression. Her help will mean everything for the Corrupted Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Steven...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmph. &quot;Good impression&quot;? We'll be lucky if she ever ''speaks'' to us again after this.
:'''Steven''': But...
:'''Blue Diamond''': The thing is, White... can be... ''difficult''.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we show up in this ship, it will be irrefutable that the last 6,000 years are now the biggest galactic embarrassment that's ever happened. And ''we're'' the ones to blame. (''to Steven'') If you don't want to be in a bubble for the next few millennia, I suggest you let ''me'' do the talking.

===''Familiar''===
:'''Steven''': Pearl!
:'''Pearl''': Steven! ''[runs over to Steven and hugs him]'' Oh, thank the stars! You're okay! What did White Diamond do? Did she hurt you?
:'''Steven''': No, she was like, &quot;Welcome home.&quot; I don't think she understands that I'm not Pink Diamond. Where's Connie? And Garnet and Amethyst?
:'''Pearl''': They're still on the ship. ''[summons a hot dog bag]'' I'm only here because I'm bringing your things. And they consider me one of your things.
:'''Steven''': Yeesh.
:''[Diamond chime plays]''
:'''Pearl''': The Diamond chime -- it's Yellow.
:''[The door opens, revealing Yellow Pearl standing right there]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond, my Diamond has requested your presence in the extraction chamber.
:'''Pearl''': Let's get you into a suit. ''[opens the bag]''
:''[Steven, wearing his yellow swimsuit, Pearl, and Yellow Pearl walk through a yellow hallway]''
:'''Steven''': Swim trunks don't seem very formal.
:'''Pearl''': Trust me, this will be more comfortable than jeans.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Please, call me Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Steven.
:'''Steven''': No, just Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Just Steven.
:'''Steven''': Call me... Lasagna.
:'''Pearl''': Steven, stop. You're going to break her. ''[opens the extraction chamber door]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Have a nice extraction, Pink Lasagna.
:''[Steven walks into the extraction chamber sauna]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink.
:'''Steven''': Hi, Yellow. Cool sauna.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It's new. Have a seat. ''[Steven uses his floating powers to jump up and takes a seat]'' So, you met with White. How was it?
:'''Steven''': All I got to say was, &quot;Hi,&quot; and, &quot;um,&quot; and, &quot;I.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Two and a half words -- that's a record.
:'''Steven''': Two and a half words isn't enough. I still need to talk to White about healing all the corrupted Gems!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. Good luck. White never leaves her own head these days, and she never lets anyone in -- except you, I guess. It's so unfair. I have hundreds of successful crystal system colonies, but you get to see her because your one colony is a failure!
:'''Steven''': Maybe you should just… ''fail?''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks momentarily shocked, then starts laughing]'' Oh, Pink, you always did have quite a knack for making me laugh. You're almost worth the trouble.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[showing up]'' Pink Diamond, my Diamond was requested your presence.
:''[Steven, Pearl, and Blue Pearl walk down a blue hallway]''
:'''Steven''': We barely talked about White at all. She had to rush to do a report, and I couldn't go with her. I get they're, like, busy, 'cause they're dictators and everything, but I need more time! ''[gasps and face-palms]'' I should have asked her what she was doing after the Citron thing!
:'''Pearl''': She'll be at that for a while. Yellow Diamond oversees all aspects of Gem production on every single one of her colonies. And when she's not doing that, she's off with her army, conquering the next one.
:'''Steven''': What about their days off, weekends?
:'''Blue Pearl''': My Diamond is awaiting our arrival.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[turns to Pearl]'' Welcome back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're here! Come in.
:'''Steven''': Okay! ''[runs and jumps into the pool, laughing]'' Whoo-hoo! (''laughing'') It's funny! I -- I live right next to the ocean, but I end up going to space to swim.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[laughs, causing the pool to shake a bit]'' You haven't changed. So silly. So small.
:'''Steven''': I'm not done growing. I'm not sure I can catch up to you and Yellow, though.
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm so glad you're back... Steven.
:'''Steven''': Y-You actually said my name!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Steven. Steee-von? (''chuckles'') It's such a funny sounding name. You're so creative, Pink.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': (''sighs'') This is so weird. Was this some sort of spa day or something? And what about Pink? Did she have a job here, or did she just sit in a room while they were off doing whatever?
:'''Pearl''': Before her colony, Pink used to throw massive balls.
:'''Steven''': ''[surprised]'' She was a juggler?!
:'''Pearl''': No -- Well, yes. But she would also throw parties for the other Diamonds to mark their many accomplishments. Every member of every court would show up to bask in the presence of all four Diamonds.
:'''Steven''': Even White would come?
:'''Pearl''': Oh, yes! Huh. I wonder what's even become of Pink's court.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ♫ Oh, I'll get them all together in one place / And once we're all together face-to-face / I'll show them all the error of their ways / And stop their spread of terror across space! ♫

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I figured it out! Remember back when I was little and maybe kind of annoying, and I couldn't come along on adventures? You guys would still drop everything to hang out with me! That's Pink Diamond! I know I can do this! Just watch -- I'm gonna throw a huge ball, and I'm gonna invite everyone!

===''Together Alone''===
:'''Pearl''': The Pebbles have been working all night. What do you think?
:'''Steven''': It almost feels like home.
:'''Garnet''': Almost.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': A ball? We haven't had a ball in 6,000 years.
:'''Blue Diamond''': We haven't had Pink in 6,000 years!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! When White Diamond shows up we can tell her why we need her help on Earth!
:'''Blue Diamond''': And, this can also mark the beginning of Era 3.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You're right, it's brilliant.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Yellow! Thank you, Blue!
:'''Blue Diamond''': If White is going to be there everything has to be perfect! Pink, can you manage this on your own? Our Pearls can help you get started.
:'''Blue Pearl''': At your service, Pink Diamond.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Make sure you go through all of our customs with Pink, since she has so much trouble recalling her past here on Homeworld.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Yes, My Diamond.
:'''Pearl''': Era 3! Steven, you're already changing the world!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! Come on, party Pearls!
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': We are at your command, Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Just call me Steven.
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': Whatever you command, Pink Diamond.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Balloons everywhere! Confetti cannons too!
:'''Amethyst''': Dibs on being the confetti cannon!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Cannons are ''forbidden'' inside palace walls. These &quot;balloons&quot; you're referring to, are unprecedented and therefore out of the question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond! Your subjects will do the dancing for you! Why would a Diamond want to dance?
:'''Steven''': Because dancing's fun!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': What is &quot;fun&quot;?
:'''Connie''': You know, it's when you do something you wanna do, just because it feels good.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': I don't think we do that here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': The Sapphire will need to enter with the other Sapphires of course, and the Ruby will need to enter with the guard.
:'''Steven''': Woah, woah, woah. Are you talking about Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Garnet? Does &quot;that&quot; call herself a Garnet? What would you have her do? Enter with the Demantoids, the Hessonites, the Pyropes? Pink, I'm being very generous, but you can't expect me to-
:'''Garnet''': I won't go.
:'''Steven''': Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': At least the Sapphire in there has some sense.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Everyone, behold! The daunting, beauty and elegance that is, Yellow Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Not a bad turnout, Pink.
:'''Steven''': I appreciate your attendance, Yellow.
:'''Blue Pearl''': Ahem, everyone prepare yourselves emotionally for the overpowering elegance that is, Blue Diamond.
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're doing great.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Blue.
:'''White Pearl''': To those in attendance of the Era 3 ball, White Diamond... has more important things to attend to.
:'''Steven''': WHAT?!
:'''White Pearl''': Therefore, I will be here to observe in her place. Welcome to Era 3.
:'''Steven''': Gra!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': (''through gritted teeth'') Pink, what are you doing?!
:'''Stevonnie''': I was just dancing! (''sees they have fused and everybody else looks in shock'')
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pink, this is completely unacceptable! Unfuse or I'll make you!
:''[Ruby and Sapphire fuse and become Garnet]''
:'''Garnet''': You'll have to go through me!
:'''Pearl''': (''gasp'') And me! (''Runs over to Amethyst and fuses into Opal'')
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah!
:''[two jades quickly fuse as well]''
:'''Lemon Jade''': And me! ''[Opal and Stevonnie look at Garnet, and she shrugs]'' I knew it! I knew I couldn't be the only one!
:''[Yellow Diamond strikes the Jade Fusion, Opal, and Garnet with her lightning powers, causing them all to poof]''
:'''Stevonnie''': Opal! Garnet!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink, you've gone too far even for you. ''[picks up Stevonnie and throws them into a dark room]'' Stay in here and think about what you've done!
:'''Stevonnie''': No, wait!
:''[Yellow Diamond closes the door, ends the episode]''

===''Escapism''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I guess I have to face, that in this awful place, I shouldn't show a trace... of doubt. / But pulled against the grain, I feel a little pain, that I would rather do... without. / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / Free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / from here. ♫

===''Change Your Mind''===
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and looks up at the prison tower window]'' Oh, right -- prison.
:''[Blue Diamond enters]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you! Making a scene like that.
:''' Steven''': We weren't trying to make a scene! We were just... ''[turns to see that Connie is not present]'' dancing?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you -- making a scene like that!
:'''Steven''': Whoa -- dejá blue.
:'''Connie''': We didn't mean any harm! I asked Steven to dance; he wasn't trying to cause trouble!
:'''Blue Diamond''': What do you know about this, human?
:'''Connie''': ''[chuckles]'' You think I've never been grounded before?
:'''Blue Diamond''': &quot;Grounded?&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': This isn't normal. How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[defensive]'' I didn't, I... and I'm doing it again... aren't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What... are you doing?
:'''Steven''': I'm taking back my friends!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[closes her eyes as she looks up from Steven to readdress Blue; annoyed]'' What are you doing, Blue? Take Pink back to the tower.
:'''Blue Diamond''': She prefers to be called &quot;Steven.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[slams her hand so forcefully against her throne that it cracks, stands up and assumes an angered stance]'' What are you talking about?! You can't keep bending the rules for her, Blue! She has to set an example, and ''we'' have to set an example! If we bend the rules for her, we have to bend them for everyone!
:'''Connie''': Well, maybe you should!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Take them back to the tower, now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I won't.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Then I'll do it myself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against &lt;big&gt;'''ME?!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You'd hurt a fellow Diamond?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Didn't we hurt Pink?! She was suffering in silence for ages -- just like our Gems -- just like me! And I know ''you're'' suffering in silence, too!
:''[Yellow Diamond claps her fist and uses her lightning power on Blue, causing her to begin to destabilize and scream]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[pulls out his shield and chucks it towards Yellow Diamond's hand, disrupting her concentration]'' You don't have to do this!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Yes, I do! This is what White Diamond expects of all of us. From a thin flake of mica to the deepest, hardest stone, we all must make sacrifices for the sake of our perfect empire.
:'''Steven''': Does ''this'' look perfect to you?! My dad says if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': And that means... what?
:'''Steven''': It means if you try and make this empire perfect -- if you just wipe away everything you see as flawed -- you lose all the things that make you happy -- like hot dogs.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Or our Pink.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Uhh... ''[falls to the ground on her knees in an uncharacteristic emotional breakdown]'' Stop. Stop it, Blue. Stop using your power on me...!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Hey, White, I know I was in there with you for a second, but I barely got to talk to you at all. There are so many Gems that are hurting right now. Even Blue and Yellow are hurting. You should hear what they have to say. ''[to Blue and Yellow; whispers]'' This is it.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[struggling]'' We... W-we... We need to talk! About us. I've conquered so many worlds for the sake of the empire. I do everything you ask, and I do it all perfectly. But your very high standards put us all under a ''lot'' of pressure. A Gem could crack under so much pressure. We Diamonds may be hard, but we're also brittle.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[steps forward]'' White, we used to be close. Don't you remember? When Pink would make us laugh -- all those silly things she did for no reason. There was a reason. She wanted us to be happy together. But we weren't, and we're still not. I know my purpose isn't to be happy, but I find it harder and harder to enforce your rules when they make me miserable. When they make us all miserable.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': Well, what do you know? It's Rainbow 2.0! Now, this is a fine mess we're in. (''gasps'') That won't do. (''blows raspberry'') Rainbow Quartz powers, activate! Ah, yes. Now that's two stones, with one bird.
:''[Steven and new reformed Pearl unfuse]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wow! Nice form, Pearl.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, ''[chuckles]'' thank you. I'm particularly excited about the jacket. Aah! Steven! We fused!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Steven''': Almost. ''[looks down at Ruby and Sapphire's gems in his hands]'' Garnet, we're up against a giant robot. We need your help. Please come out. I'm here! I love you! ''[hugs them tightly as he begins to glow and starts fusing, to form Sunstone]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunstone''': Awwwwwwwwwww yeah! You better step off! Chillax, my dudes. Your rockin' pal Sunstone is holdin' it down.
:'''Pearl''': Wow!
:'''Amethyst''': Holy...
:'''Connie''': All right!
:'''Peridot''': Unbelievable!
:'''Sunstone''': Oh, you better believe it.
:'''Peridot''': Okay!
:'''Connie''': Sunstone, what are we gonna do? White Diamond's never going to listen, and she's never going to let us leave.
:'''Sunstone''': If she won't listen, we'll ''make'' her listen.
:'''Amethyst''': And ''how'' are we gonna do that?
:'''Sunstone''': I know she's in there. We'll bust into her head and change her mind.
:'''Everyone''': Right!
:'''Sunstone''': Let's take that bully down! ''[to the viewers]'' But remember kids: if you ever have to deal with a bully, be sure to tell an adult. ''[yanks Pearl and Amethyst onto their shoulders and sprints towards the giant pink foot of the ship]'' Ally-oop! ''[summons her suction cups]'' Kids, don't try this at home. Ha! Bungacowa!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': We need to be bigger.
:'''Steven''': Then let's fuse. All four of us. It's the only way we're gonna get up to her head.
:'''Amethyst''': I'm in!
:'''Pearl''': I'm in, too.
:'''Garnet''': Then it's decided. It's time to form Obsidian.
:''[Connie, Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis back away to give some space for the Crystal Gems to perform their fusion dance; Obsidian is formed by letting out a big loud cry for battle]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[amazed]'' They're HU-U-U-U-GE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You're wrong! I'm not my mom!
:'''White Diamond''': But don't you know things about her that you couldn't possibly know?
:'''Steven''': I-I've just been connecting with her. My powers, they-they help me to connect to others. I'm not her. I'm just feeling her feelings.
:'''White Diamond''': Isn't it obvious? Even though you've embedded yourself in that human child, your light can't help shining through!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Don't listen to her Steven! She's just trying to mess with you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this?! Where is Pink?
:'''Pink Steven''': She's gone.
:'''White Diamond''': What did you say? Answer me!
:'''Pink Steven''': ''[shouting]'' She's &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-NE!!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': Agh! Don't you raise your shield at me! I only want you to be yourself! If you can't do that, I'll do it &lt;big&gt;FOR YOU!!!&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Steven! ''[rushes to Steven and hugs him]'' Are you back together? Are you you?
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Yeah! I’m me! I’ve always been me.
:'''White Diamond''': ''NO!'' You are Pink Diamond! That is Pink Diamond's gem! You do not look like this! You do not sound like this! You are not half-human! You're just... acting like a child!
:'''Steven''': I ''am'' a child. What's your excuse?
:'''White Diamond''': ''[starts blushing, and notices the Gems under her control doing the same]'' What's happening? What is this? What's wrong with them? They're turning... pink! I don't understand, I'm in control, I-- ''[gasps]'' Something's wrong! With ME! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this? I feel... ridiculous. Yellow, Blue...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[gasps]'' She's off-color...
:'''White Diamond''': This can't be happening. I can't have a flaw, I'm supposed to be flawless! If I'm not perfect then... who am I? If you're not Pink, then... who are you? Who is ''anyone?''
:'''Steven''': You know, if you just let everyone be whoever they are, maybe you could let yourself be whoever you are too.
:'''White Diamond''': But I'm not supposed to be like this! I'm supposed to know better, I'm supposed to ''be'' better, I'm supposed to make ''everything'' better!
:'''Steven''': You can. But first, you're gonna have to leave your own head.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict our long journey through space will soon be over.
:'''Lars''': Welcome home, guys.
:'''Rhodonite''': We finally made it! Earth! No more running, no more hiding! No more Diamond Authority! ''[they notice the Diamonds, who have heard everything]'' Well, we're cracked.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sadie''': Lars... Look at you! You're... you're a space pirate!
:'''Lars''': Look at you! You're a rock star!
:'''Sadie''': ''[Laughs] Well... ''[Laughs]''
:''[They both laugh in unison]''
:'''Lars''': I think it suits us!
:'''Sadie''': Yeah. Me, too!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me. / I don’t need you to love me, I love me. / But I want you to know you could know me, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / Change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind. ♫

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149138</id>
      <parentid>3149137</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:27:03Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1700:C361:A40:D914:318B:BCB0:7647</ip>
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      <comment>/* The Trial */</comment>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
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{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Stuck Together''===
:'''Aquamarine''': Say, Rose, how do I look?
:'''Steven''': Awful, small and mean!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Topaz''': What was I thinking?
:'''Aquamarine''': That's the problem with you fusions. Sooner or later, you will become ''sentimental.'' ''[the ship rumbles, coming to a stop and a notification pops up]'' We're here. Look, just… unfuse, and we'll never speak of this again.

===''The Trial''===
:'''Steven''': ''[speaking to himself]'' I know my mom did something really bad. Whatever Homeworld has in store for me…I'm ready!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prosecuting Zircon''': Defending a rebel? Isn't that… ''treason?'' ''[chuckles]''
:'''Defense Zircon''': I was ''assigned'' to this!
:''[Blue and Yellow Pearl warp in]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': All rise for the luminous Yellow Diamond! ''[poses]''
:'''Blue Pearl''': And the lustrous Blue Diamond. ''[bows]''
:''[Blue and Yellow Diamond warp in behind them and stare down at Steven]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[looking around]'' Where is the accused?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks down at Steven]'' Is that Rose Quartz? Look at this ''hideous'' she's taken. Forget the trial, we should shatter just for looking like that.
:'''Blue Diamond''': No. I want to hear her make her case. I want to know what she thinks we're going to do with her. Because  I want to do something ''worse''.
:''[Steven gulps nervously]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[warps in their throne chairs]'' Fine. Let's just get on with it, shall we?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I did it!
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wha… What, what?! Stop!
:'''Blue Diamond''': No! I want to hear what she has to say.
:''[Steven is elevated up to the Diamonds' height]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': State your name for the record, please.
:'''Steven''': I, um… I am Rose Quartz… and I'm guilty.
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wait! No, don't say that!
:'''Steven''': Everything you guys I did, I did. And I did it by myself. I'm sorry. I'll accept any punishment you want to give me. ''[points down to Lars]'' Just let him go! And leave the Earth alone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Ha! Sounds like a solid confession to me.
:'''Blue Diamond''': How? How did you do it? How did you shatter Pink Diamond?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Um, well…I did it on Earth in front of Pink Diamond's palanquin. I was probably like &quot;Stop!&quot; And she was all like, &quot;No!&quot; So we fought -- I think. And she probably did some cool moves. I probably did some cool stuff, too, some jump-kicks and stuff. But I was most likely deeply conflicted about deciding to shatter her. Definitely crying. I probably had to use the Breaking Point to do it.
:'''Blue Diamond''': It was a ''sword!'' ''[covers her eyes, crying and a blue light fills the room, making everyone except Lars tear up]'' You… shattered her… with a sword! ''[starts sobbing]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[walks up and comforts Blue]'' That's quite enough testimony from you! We shall take a short recess.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Defense Zircon''': What are you saying in there?! &quot;Maybe&quot; this, &quot;probably&quot; that! Oh, what do you mean, ''probably''?!
:'''Steven''': Look I just... I don't actually know how it happened, okay?
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't ''know''?!
:'''Steven''': I...
:'''Defense Zircon''': ''[grabs Steven by the shirt collar and picks him up]'' Don't tumble my rocks! Both our gems are on the line! Did you do this or not?!
:'''Steven''': It was me, alright! ''[Defense Zircon let's go of his shirt and drops him]'' Rose Quartz did it, and I've got her gem, so I'm the one who's got to pay for this.
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't know how it happened. ''[Steven shakes his head]'' I get it. There's a reason they want you to explain how you did it.
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Defense Zircon''': It's because it doesn't make sense!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You think you can get away, Rose? You stood your ground on that little speck called Earth. But you're on ''our'' world now.

===''Off Colors''===
:'''Padparadscha''': Oh my gosh, something incredible is going to happen to Lars!

===''Lars' Head''===
:'''Steven''': But it doesn't feel right to just leave you here.
:'''Lars''': You said yourself that everyone on this planet is out to get you. You won't be safe until you're back on Earth.
:'''Steven''': But, Lars--
:'''Lars''': Don't argue with me! You're always trying to help me. You brought me back to life. Just let me be somebody who deserved it.

===''Dewey Wins''===

===''Gemcation''===

===''Raising the Barn''===

===''Back to the Kindergarten''===
:'''Peridot''': This used to make sense to me. I thought life was generated in a kindergarten. Formless, aimless energy channeled into new, useful gems. But life doesn't start in a kindergarten. It ends here. I've gotten used to plants everywhere. Bugs and breeze and sunshine...all of that has been sucked out of this place. 

===''Sadie Killer''===

===''Kevin Party''===

===''Lars of the Stars''===
:'''Emerald''': ''[on screen]'' It's over! I've got you now you miserable off-colors!
:'''Lars''': You'll ''never'' take us alive, Emerald!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lars''': You don't get it, do you, Steven? ''[starts tearing up and sniffles]'' It should be me. ''[starts crying]'' ''I'm'' the one that should be hanging out with the Cool Kids! She's getting back at me for everything I've done!
:'''Connie''': Do you really think Sadie is living her life ''just'' to get back at you?
:'''Lars''': Why else would she be having so much fun without me?!
:'''Steven''': Because life goes on, no matter what happens. She was so upset when she found out you'd be stuck in space, Lars. She really misses you, but, she can't stay sad forever. She started hanging out with the cool kids. She quit the Big Donut all because she needed to do ''something'' to feel better.
:'''Connie''': And look at you! Steven said you'd be hiding in some cave on Homeworld, but you're not! You're out here fighting for freedom with all your new friends in tow! Are ''you'' doing any of this to hurt Sadie?
:'''Lars''': No! I'm doing this because I have to. ''[tears up]'' I'd never do this to hurt Sadie because-
:'''Steven''': Because!
:'''Connie''': Because!
:'''Both''': Because you're best friends!
:''[Lars watches them fuse into Stevonnie]''
:'''Stevonnie''': And best friends wouldn't do anything to hurt each other!

===''Jungle Moon''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[squealing in excitement]'' Whoa, cool! Yellow! ''[jumps up to her chair]'' Hey, Yellow.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Oh, you're still here.
:'''Stevonnie''': What are you doing?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm commanding the dropships to colonize this planet.
:'''Stevonnie''': I wanna command a dropship!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Well, when you have your ''own'' colony, you can command whatever you want.
:'''Stevonnie''': I want a colony! ''[Yellow Diamond presses buttons on the panel with four diamonds]'' I want one now! ''[screen unlocks revealing a dropship on the panel]'' What's this?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm contacting the leader of the fleet.
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[amazed]'' Let me do it! ''[starts pressing buttons on the screen but Yellow Diamond grabs her arm]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' DON'T TOUCH THAT!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[irritated]'' Why ''not''? You have so many worlds and I don't even have ''one''! It's not fair! I want ONE! I want my own ''army''! I want my own ''planet''! I deserve it! I'm just as important as ''YOU''!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' Then why don't you act like it, Pink?!
:''[Stevonnie walks away, holding their arm, angry; approach a window and their fist clenches; Pink Diamond is seen through their reflection and the hand punches the glass smashing it; She suddenly wakes up from the dream, falling out of the hammock on the ground]''
:'''Stevonnie''': (''talking through Connie'') Whoa! ''[breathing hard]'' Steven, what was that? (''talking through Steven'') Diamonds. I'm having Diamond dreams again. But, why now? Why ''here''? ''[looks up and see a mural of Yellow Diamond]'' No way.

===''Your Mother and Mine''===
:'''Garnet''': Come on, everyone. Let me tell you the story of the ''real'' Rose Quartz. ''[Flashback story begins; narrating]'' It was Era 1. The Diamonds, unique in their flawlessness, sought to expand their perfection across the galaxy. And it was for this purpose that Pink Diamond chose her first colony-- the planet Earth. On Earth, every Gem was made to serve Pink Diamond, each with a role to play in her world's perfect empire. In comparison to their creator, their existence was ordinary. They were life-forms only meant to fit their mold, and no one had ever dared to think otherwise. Until, there was Rose Quartz. In stature, she was no different than any other Quartz. And for a time, she did her best to carry out her Diamond's bidding. However, she began to take notice of her strange colony and the life that existed there. Curiosity turned to appreciation. Appreciation turned to fondness. And fondness… turned to love. Soon she was unable to keep her findings secret, and she began asking her fellow Gems if they knew of the life on Earth and what they made of it. She continued to pry her fellow Kindergartners with questions ''so'' odd, that word of her eventually made its way to Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz was summoned at once.
:'''Pink Diamond''': Quartz, what have you been saying down there?
:'''Rose''': My Diamond, it has come to my attention that your colony, Earth, bears life. While I know these organic life-forms serve no purpose, I ask that we leave this planet and spare their lives.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Pink Diamond thought for a moment, and then laughed, a wicked, empty sound.
:'''Pink Diamond''': ''[laughing]'' You wish to save these life-forms at the expense of our own? Ha! Don't be absurd. Return to your post, and I will forget your insolence.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' And with that, Rose Quartz was dragged back to her kindergarten for duty. ''[A gem drags Rose away and she continues working]'' Only Rose could no longer stand to continue aiding in the destruction of Earth. She had no choice. She had to fight.
:'''Rose''': ''[stops working and jumps into the air, changing her uniform into a dress before destroying an injector, stands on the broken injector and speaks to the other Quartzes]'' Is this what you want -- to inject, to build?! I've seen the life that exists for itself, and it lives here! Will you destroy it, or will you join it?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Rose's message began to resonate to Pink Diamond's dismay. Her colony was falling apart. So, like a coward, she called for her Diamond allies, Yellow and Blue, to help. But Rose also found herself with allies, other Gems that were cast out for being wrong-- a Pearl who belonged to no one… a Bismuth who built weapons for rebels instead of towers for tyrants… An entirely new fusion, for not power, but for love… And countless others, all inspired by Rose to live for ourselves on Earth. She was our leader. And Earth was our precious home. And those who fought to save it became known as…the Crystal Gems!
:'''Rhodonite''': Unbelievable!
:'''Rutile Twins''': There were Gems like us?
:'''Padparadscha''': Fighting.
:'''Fluorite''': For… their… freedom?
:'''Garnet''': Yes, and we were fearless! ''[Flashback resumes; narrating]'' It was an impossible fight, but we fought anyway. And the more Gems who saw us, the more who joined. But Pink Diamond's forces proved too strong. Rose feared that soon she would have nothing left to protect. Rose Quartz drew her rebel blade… and shattered Pink Diamond, saving the Earth for all time from her reign of terror.
:'''Rutile Twins''': Wow! That's incredible! I don't believe it!
:'''Lars''': ''[to Steven]'' Your mom did all that? That's awesome!
:'''Rhodonite''': Wait. What about the rest? What happened after that?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The other Diamonds were furious. In a last-ditch attempt to wipe out the Rebellion, the Diamonds launched a direct attack against Earth. And in their fury, they used their powers to end the fighting once and for all.
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict this story won't have a happy ending.
:'''Rutile Twins''': We were all told different stories. But they all ended the same way.
:'''Fluorite''': With Rose Quartz… being… defeated.
:'''Rhodonite''': This new version of the story is even worse! So, she was great, and they beat her? What are we supposed to get out of this -- that we can never win?!
:'''Garnet''': We haven't yet, but we can, and we will. They said they annihilated Rose's rebellion, but here ''we'' are. They said they annihilated all of you on Homeworld, but here ''you'' are! They think they have us on the run, but they're the ones that are running from the truth. And the truth is we... are... everywhere!
:'''Rhodonite''': But how many more of us can there be?
:'''Steven''': Way more than you think! I was only on Homeworld for, like, an hour before I ran in to you guys. There must be Off Colors all over the place.
:'''Garnet''': Rose used to say there was something about Earth -- something that set Gems free. But it's not just Earth. Look at you. Love, freedom -- it's universal. You all prove it every moment you live as yourselves. You can show everyone.
:'''Fluorite''': We… can do that?
:'''Lars''': Not while we're floating out here like sitting ducks.

===''The Big Show''===

===''Pool Hopping''===
:'''Garnet''': I think I get it.
:'''Steven''': Hm?
:'''Garnet''': Why my future vision has been so off. I have to change the way I think about you. 
:'''Steven''': What?
:'''Garnet''': I've been looking into probable futures where you act like a child. I keep expecting you to run from responsibility and to turn to me for help, but you don't do that anymore. Those futures aren't probable at all. There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision. I just need to factor in that you've grown up.

===''Letters to Lars''===

===''Can't Go Back''===
:'''Blue Diamond''': But this is what you wanted.
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and gasps; turns to see Lapis is nowhere to be seen]'' Lapis? ''[faces forward, seeing the silhouettes of Blue, Yellow, and Pink Diamond]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': You begged us for a colony of your own, and now all you want to do is be rid of it. First there were too many organics. Then their cities were too difficult to dismantle, and -- and now these Crystal Gems. We're tired of your excuses, Pink.
:'''Steven''': The Diamonds.
:'''Blue Diamond''': This Rose Quartz can't hurt you. You can't be swayed by a few unruly Gems. ''[Holds her hand up in front of Pink Diamond as she's about to speak]'' Enough! You must understand, you are a Diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you. You don't even have to do anything. Just smile and wave. Show everyone you're unfazed by this little uprising. Your Gems will fall into line, and these Crystal Gems will be no more. As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Lapis flies away, Steven looks at the mural of Pink Diamond and turns to Lion]''
:'''Steven''': Lion, I need you to take me to Pearl.

===''A Single Pale Rose''===
:'''Steven''': It better not turn out that her phone was in her pocket...or she left it on the dresser or dropped it in the toilet. Seems about as likely as putting it away in your repressed war memories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Steven returns from Pearl's gem after learning the truth about how Rose Quartz &quot;shattered&quot; Pink Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': I know.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[tearing up]'' I wanted to tell you for ''so'' long.
:'''Steven''': Mom was Pink Diamond.
:''[Garnet and Amethyst stand in shock behind Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?'''&lt;/big&gt;

===''Now We're Only Falling Apart''===
:'''Amethyst''': Let me get this straight. Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gems, Steven's mom, was actually Pink Diamond?!
:'''Steven''': She faked her own shattering, and reformed to be Rose all the time.
:'''Pearl''': Pink Diamond's final command to me was that no one could know, but now that Steven does, I can finally tell you all everything!
:'''Amethyst''': Phew! I mean, a pink lion, a pink sword, and now Pink Diamond?! Huh, if you told me Rose invented cotton candy, I'd believe it. Right, Garnet? Uh, Garnet?
:'''Garnet''': ''[shaking and gets up]'' Rose. She... she... ''[struggles to stay stable and defuses into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': ''[betrayed and heartbroken with anger]'' '''SHE LIED TO US!''' She lied about EVERYTHING! ''[freezes up the floor]'' She held our hands, looked us right in the eyes, and told us to never question who we are as Garnet. We never questioned ourselves, or her!
:'''Ruby''': We couldn't have known!
:'''Sapphire''': No, you couldn't have known. You never know what's going on. That's what I'm for!
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': But I never looked into her, I trusted her. I let her make fools of us all! ''[storms over to the warp pad]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire, wait!
:'''Steven''': Guys! ''[slips on the ice]''
:'''Ruby''': Please…We can just stay calm and talk about this, right? Let's just, talk.
:'''Sapphire''': Talk about what? How our relationship is based on a lie? What else is there to say? ''[warps away to Rose's Fountain]''
:'''Pearl''': Ruby, I am so sorry.
:'''Steven''': Come on, Pearl. Help me explain everything to Sapphire.
:'''Pearl''': Right.
:'''Steven''': Sit tight, Ruby. We'll go and get Sapphire.
:'''Ruby''': Okay. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sapphire''': ''[grieving]'' Everything we were running from, she was right there all along…using us for her little war…smiling at us with those knowing eyes… Making me believe in a better future that I couldn't see, because it wasn't real. And now here we are, our friends, shattered, and corrupted…of course she was a Diamond. What a long road she took to torture us all like this.
:'''Steven''': It wasn't like that. You know she didn't want anyone to get hurt.
:'''Sapphire''': I don't know that! I clearly don't know anything.
:'''Pearl''': You deserve to know everything. I was given to Pink Diamond just a few thousand years before she was given the Earth. I was supposed to make her happy, I just never could.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Is everything alright, my Diamond? You seem troubled.
:'''Rose''': All this life that's been growing wild here on Earth…none of it will survive my invasion. We're not creating life from nothing. We're ''taking'' life, and leaving nothing behind.
:'''Pearl''': Forgive me, my Diamond. I shouldn't have brought you to such a place.
:'''Rose''': No. I needed to see this.
:''[scene shifts back to the fountain]''
:'''Steven''': So she ''did'' want to protect Earth. She didn't realize what the colony was doing to the planet.
:'''Sapphire''': So what?! She suddenly started to care about Earth? Why did she have to rope us into all this? Why couldn't she just stop the colonization herself?
:'''Pearl''': She ''tried''. When she told the other Diamonds she didn't want to go through with the colony, they told her to finish what she started. When she told the other Diamonds she wanted to preserve life on Earth, they created the zoo and threw a handful of humans in. She did everything she could as Pink Diamond. But her status meant nothing to Blue and Yellow. So she decided to make a stand, as someone they couldn't ignore. She was going to scare every Gem off the planet. But everything changed when she saw…your fusion.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Before Garnet, Rose was only fighting for Earth. But Garnet changed everything. Rose wanted to fight for her, she wanted to fight for Gems! And maybe she was foolish, and maybe even...selfish, but she was-
:'''Sapphire''': Following us.
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Sapphire''': This whole time, we thought we were following her, but she was following ''us''. How could she not after you swept her off her feet?

===''What's your Problem''===

===''The Question''===

===''Made of Honor''===
:'''Steven''': So, my Dad will finish playing the music, and then next you'll do the &quot;I do's.&quot; And then I'll say… &quot;I now pronounce you Garnet.&quot; And then you fuse! Everyone will cheer!
:'''Sapphire''': Everyone… who survived.
:'''Ruby''': Huh?
:'''Sapphire''': Oh, it's just… There's so many old friends who won't be able to come. All the Crystal Gems who were corrupted and bubbled in the basement.
:'''Ruby''': Maybe we could bring the bubbles up here?
:'''Sapphire''': No, no. It's not safe. We can't risk them getting out.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Hey everyone. Did you guys &quot;Bismi-th&quot; me?
:''[Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby and Amethyst drop their sodas simultaneously]''
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I win! Also, less importantly, who are you?
:'''Steven''': I… invited Bismuth! I hope that's cool.
:'''Sapphire''': ''[slowly walks up to her]'' Bismuth. ''[hugs her]''
:'''Bismuth''': Whoa, Sapphire!
:'''Pearl and Ruby''': Bismuth! ''[tackle her to the floor, and begin nuzzling her]''
:'''Sapphire''': You wouldn't believe what we've all been through. I'm so sorry! We should've-
:'''Bismuth''': Look, I'm right there with you, Steven filled me in.
:'''Peridot''': So, is anyone going to introduce me?
:'''Amethyst''': Let's give 'em some space.

===''Reunited''===
:'''Steven''': Dearly beloved Gems, humans, lions big and small, living gourds, Onion, we are gathered here today to celebrate Ruby and Sapphire, two of my favorite people, who combine into one of my other favorite people! You all probably know her as Garnet. She's their love, given form. Now it's your turn to talk about that.
:'''Ruby''': I know this is all kind of silly, I mean, we've been together for 5,750 years.
:'''Sapphire''': And 8 months.
:'''Ruby''': I used to feel like I wasn't much good, just one of me on my own. But when we're together, it feels like it's okay to just be me. So I wanna be me, with you, an-and, not even the Diamonds will come between us. And if they try, we'll beat em up!
:'''Sapphire''': Ruby, my future used to look like one single, obvious stream, unbending 'til the end of time. In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures, streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will. ''[beat]'' What I mean is, you changed my life. And then, I changed your life. And now, we changed our lives.
:'''Steven''': Bismuth, the rings.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[gently bumps Bismuth]'' Hey, Bismuth, that's your cue.
:''[Bismuth, touched and crying by the vows, approaches them with the rings]''
:'''Steven''': Ruby, do you take this Gem to have and to hold, on this and every other planet in the universe!?
:'''Ruby''': I DO!
:'''Steven''': And Sapphire, do you-
:'''Sapphire''': Yes.
:'''Steven''': ''[whispering]'' You didn't let me finish.
:'''Sapphire''': I'm just very excited.
:'''Steven''': Then by the power vested in me by the state of Delmarva, I now pronounce you… Garnet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': What a wonderful idea. Humans found a way to make a moment's decision last forever. I won't need future vision to know I'll always remember this.
:'''Steven''': I'm so glad. ''[starts tearing up]''
:'''Garnet''': Oh no. I'm sorry. Don't cry.
:'''Steven''': ''[wipes off the tears]'' I guess seeing everyone together got me really choked up. ''[bigger tears begin flowing out of his eyes]'' Wait a second. You don't think…?
:'''Garnet''': ''[takes off her visor, opening her third eye]'' Blue Diamond!
:'''Steven''': She's here?!
:'''Garnet''': And she's not alone.
:''[The sky darkens quickly and everyone looks up to the sky, seeing Blue and Yellow Diamond's ships approaching]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, no. It's the Diamonds! ''[runs up to Nanefua]'' Nanefua, get on your Nane-phone! We've got a code blue ''and'' a code yellow!
:'''Garnet''': This is it.
:''[As the Diamond ships approach the beach, they fly overhead them]''
:'''Peridot''': WE'RE OVER HERE, YOU CLODS!
:'''Pearl''': Wha- where are they going?!
:'''Steven''': If they're not here for us, they must be here for the Cluster!
:'''Bismuth''': What's the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': It's a huge earth-destroying geo-weapon that the Diamonds made out of a bajillion gem shards!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[approaching Blue Diamond]'' Blue Diamond, please listen to me! I didn't shatter Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond's right here. It's pretty interesting when you think about it--
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''ENOUGH!'' ''[hurls an energy blast at Steven, knocking him back, only for Alexandrite to catch him]''
:'''Steven''': Wait!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You cannot fathom how much I've mourned, what thousands of years of grief has done to me! ''[unleashes her aura, de-fusing Alexandrite, making everyone (except Connie), fall on their knees and tear up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I know this sword… This is the sword that '''SHATTERED HER!''' ''[angrily shatters the sword as Steven gasps, which made Connie fall down only to be caught by Lion]'' You deserve this-- ''all'' of you!
:'''Steven''': Stop, please!
:'''Amethyst''': Steven…
:'''Pearl''': What do we do?
:'''Steven''': I don't know. She won't listen, she just wants to fight!
:'''Garnet''': Blue Diamond!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Who are you supposed to be?
:'''Garnet''': I am the will of two Gems to care for each other, to protect each other from any threat, no matter how vast or how cruel. You couldn't stop me 5,750 years ago, and you can't stop me now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you, that Ruby and Sapphire that disrupted my court.
:'''Garnet''': This is supposed to be MY day!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You hope to defeat me by clinging to my feet?
:'''Garnet''': I just needed to keep you from taking three steps to the right.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': With all our strength together, we can take her down!
:'''Steven''': That's right! This is our home, our planet, our friends and family! We are the Crystal Gems!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pathetic! You are &lt;big&gt;'''NOTHING!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I told her off, once. I can do it again. ''[jumps off Bismuth's hands and runs up to Yellow Diamond]'' Hey! Yellow Clod! '''''REMEMBER ME?!'''''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': No. ''[zaps and poofs Peridot to her gemstone]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[jumps off Garnet's hands and runs up to the Diamonds]'' Don't do this! Listen to me, ''I'm'' the one you're missing! I'm Pink Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[shocked and angry]'' '''''You!''''' ''[charges towards Steven as he summons his shield]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:''[Yellow Diamond stomps her foot on Steven in fury, knocking him out unconsciously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lapis Lazuli''': What else have you got?! I've only just begun to fight! ''[gets zapped and poofed to her gemstone by Yellow Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked gasp]'' Lapis!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''How miserable. I knew Pink couldn't handle her own colony. But, I gave in. And now, I'm to blame for her fate.''
:'''Steven''': Ah, her thoughts are too strong!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''What good will any of this do? The more I make these Gems suffer, the more I long to see you again, Pink.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': This feeling, I know it!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It must be a trick! Show yourself, foe!
:'''Steven''': I'm not your foe. Please, just listen to me!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': There!
:'''Steven''': ''Please, the fighting has to stop. We aren't enemies. We're family. Please listen to me. I need you to know who I am!!!''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Impossible.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': This aura...
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you! Pink!

===''Legs From Here to Homeworld''===
:'''Garnet''': We can't just hand Steven over to Blue Diamond, she's a shatterer!
:'''Bismuth''': She's not gonna hurt him, look at her. She really thinks he's one of them.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sobbing loudly]'' Somebody make Blue Diamond stop!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Pearl''': It's just… ''[sniffles]'' Blue Diamond's power. She's obviously relieved that Pink Diamond wasn't shattered after all.
:''[Yellow Diamond tries to reactive her ship but fails]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. How could you do this to us, Pink? Why did you let us think you were shattered? Why the strange disguise? Why are you doing a voice? Why didn't you say something at the trial?! And Blue, could you please stop crying? I can't see. ''[wipes her tears, splashing the Gems]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Sorry. ''[sets Steven down]''
:'''Steven''': My mom kept it secret from everyone.
:'''Pearl''': Ahem.
:'''Steven''': Almost everyone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': Well, apparently, Mom… Oh, geez. You don't know what a mom is. Okay, Pink Diamond took the form of Rose Quartz permanently after faking her shattering. Then, Rose Quartz gave up ''that'' form to create a new life with my dad-- me. Rose passed her gemstone and some of her powers onto me, but that's all. I-I don't have any of Pink ''or'' Rose's memories. I'm sorry.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. I'm sure your memories are in there somewhere, Pink.
:'''Steven''': Actually, I go by &quot;Steven.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': We can only do so much, if it was the ''four'' of us.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Oh, no. We can't let ''her'' see this!
:'''Steven''': Who? Who do we need?!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What do you mean, &quot;who?&quot; White.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' White Diamond?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While traveling to Homeworld]''
:'''Steven''': Should I have brought a gift for White Diamond? We ''are'' dropping in unexpectedly, and… I want to make a good first impression. Her help will mean everything for the Corrupted Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Steven...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmph. &quot;Good impression&quot;? We'll be lucky if she ever ''speaks'' to us again after this.
:'''Steven''': But...
:'''Blue Diamond''': The thing is, White... can be... ''difficult''.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we show up in this ship, it will be irrefutable that the last 6,000 years are now the biggest galactic embarrassment that's ever happened. And ''we're'' the ones to blame. (''to Steven'') If you don't want to be in a bubble for the next few millennia, I suggest you let ''me'' do the talking.

===''Familiar''===
:'''Steven''': Pearl!
:'''Pearl''': Steven! ''[runs over to Steven and hugs him]'' Oh, thank the stars! You're okay! What did White Diamond do? Did she hurt you?
:'''Steven''': No, she was like, &quot;Welcome home.&quot; I don't think she understands that I'm not Pink Diamond. Where's Connie? And Garnet and Amethyst?
:'''Pearl''': They're still on the ship. ''[summons a hot dog bag]'' I'm only here because I'm bringing your things. And they consider me one of your things.
:'''Steven''': Yeesh.
:''[Diamond chime plays]''
:'''Pearl''': The Diamond chime -- it's Yellow.
:''[The door opens, revealing Yellow Pearl standing right there]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond, my Diamond has requested your presence in the extraction chamber.
:'''Pearl''': Let's get you into a suit. ''[opens the bag]''
:''[Steven, wearing his yellow swimsuit, Pearl, and Yellow Pearl walk through a yellow hallway]''
:'''Steven''': Swim trunks don't seem very formal.
:'''Pearl''': Trust me, this will be more comfortable than jeans.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Please, call me Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Steven.
:'''Steven''': No, just Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Just Steven.
:'''Steven''': Call me... Lasagna.
:'''Pearl''': Steven, stop. You're going to break her. ''[opens the extraction chamber door]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Have a nice extraction, Pink Lasagna.
:''[Steven walks into the extraction chamber sauna]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink.
:'''Steven''': Hi, Yellow. Cool sauna.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It's new. Have a seat. ''[Steven uses his floating powers to jump up and takes a seat]'' So, you met with White. How was it?
:'''Steven''': All I got to say was, &quot;Hi,&quot; and, &quot;um,&quot; and, &quot;I.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Two and a half words -- that's a record.
:'''Steven''': Two and a half words isn't enough. I still need to talk to White about healing all the corrupted Gems!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. Good luck. White never leaves her own head these days, and she never lets anyone in -- except you, I guess. It's so unfair. I have hundreds of successful crystal system colonies, but you get to see her because your one colony is a failure!
:'''Steven''': Maybe you should just… ''fail?''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks momentarily shocked, then starts laughing]'' Oh, Pink, you always did have quite a knack for making me laugh. You're almost worth the trouble.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[showing up]'' Pink Diamond, my Diamond was requested your presence.
:''[Steven, Pearl, and Blue Pearl walk down a blue hallway]''
:'''Steven''': We barely talked about White at all. She had to rush to do a report, and I couldn't go with her. I get they're, like, busy, 'cause they're dictators and everything, but I need more time! ''[gasps and face-palms]'' I should have asked her what she was doing after the Citron thing!
:'''Pearl''': She'll be at that for a while. Yellow Diamond oversees all aspects of Gem production on every single one of her colonies. And when she's not doing that, she's off with her army, conquering the next one.
:'''Steven''': What about their days off, weekends?
:'''Blue Pearl''': My Diamond is awaiting our arrival.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[turns to Pearl]'' Welcome back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're here! Come in.
:'''Steven''': Okay! ''[runs and jumps into the pool, laughing]'' Whoo-hoo! (''laughing'') It's funny! I -- I live right next to the ocean, but I end up going to space to swim.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[laughs, causing the pool to shake a bit]'' You haven't changed. So silly. So small.
:'''Steven''': I'm not done growing. I'm not sure I can catch up to you and Yellow, though.
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm so glad you're back... Steven.
:'''Steven''': Y-You actually said my name!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Steven. Steee-von? (''chuckles'') It's such a funny sounding name. You're so creative, Pink.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': (''sighs'') This is so weird. Was this some sort of spa day or something? And what about Pink? Did she have a job here, or did she just sit in a room while they were off doing whatever?
:'''Pearl''': Before her colony, Pink used to throw massive balls.
:'''Steven''': ''[surprised]'' She was a juggler?!
:'''Pearl''': No -- Well, yes. But she would also throw parties for the other Diamonds to mark their many accomplishments. Every member of every court would show up to bask in the presence of all four Diamonds.
:'''Steven''': Even White would come?
:'''Pearl''': Oh, yes! Huh. I wonder what's even become of Pink's court.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ♫ Oh, I'll get them all together in one place / And once we're all together face-to-face / I'll show them all the error of their ways / And stop their spread of terror across space! ♫

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I figured it out! Remember back when I was little and maybe kind of annoying, and I couldn't come along on adventures? You guys would still drop everything to hang out with me! That's Pink Diamond! I know I can do this! Just watch -- I'm gonna throw a huge ball, and I'm gonna invite everyone!

===''Together Alone''===
:'''Pearl''': The Pebbles have been working all night. What do you think?
:'''Steven''': It almost feels like home.
:'''Garnet''': Almost.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': A ball? We haven't had a ball in 6,000 years.
:'''Blue Diamond''': We haven't had Pink in 6,000 years!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! When White Diamond shows up we can tell her why we need her help on Earth!
:'''Blue Diamond''': And, this can also mark the beginning of Era 3.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You're right, it's brilliant.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Yellow! Thank you, Blue!
:'''Blue Diamond''': If White is going to be there everything has to be perfect! Pink, can you manage this on your own? Our Pearls can help you get started.
:'''Blue Pearl''': At your service, Pink Diamond.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Make sure you go through all of our customs with Pink, since she has so much trouble recalling her past here on Homeworld.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Yes, My Diamond.
:'''Pearl''': Era 3! Steven, you're already changing the world!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! Come on, party Pearls!
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': We are at your command, Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Just call me Steven.
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': Whatever you command, Pink Diamond.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Balloons everywhere! Confetti cannons too!
:'''Amethyst''': Dibs on being the confetti cannon!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Cannons are ''forbidden'' inside palace walls. These &quot;balloons&quot; you're referring to, are unprecedented and therefore out of the question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond! Your subjects will do the dancing for you! Why would a Diamond want to dance?
:'''Steven''': Because dancing's fun!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': What is &quot;fun&quot;?
:'''Connie''': You know, it's when you do something you wanna do, just because it feels good.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': I don't think we do that here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': The Sapphire will need to enter with the other Sapphires of course, and the Ruby will need to enter with the guard.
:'''Steven''': Woah, woah, woah. Are you talking about Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Garnet? Does &quot;that&quot; call herself a Garnet? What would you have her do? Enter with the Demantoids, the Hessonites, the Pyropes? Pink, I'm being very generous, but you can't expect me to-
:'''Garnet''': I won't go.
:'''Steven''': Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': At least the Sapphire in there has some sense.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Everyone, behold! The daunting, beauty and elegance that is, Yellow Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Not a bad turnout, Pink.
:'''Steven''': I appreciate your attendance, Yellow.
:'''Blue Pearl''': Ahem, everyone prepare yourselves emotionally for the overpowering elegance that is, Blue Diamond.
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're doing great.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Blue.
:'''White Pearl''': To those in attendance of the Era 3 ball, White Diamond... has more important things to attend to.
:'''Steven''': WHAT?!
:'''White Pearl''': Therefore, I will be here to observe in her place. Welcome to Era 3.
:'''Steven''': Gra!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': (''through gritted teeth'') Pink, what are you doing?!
:'''Stevonnie''': I was just dancing! (''sees they have fused and everybody else looks in shock'')
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pink, this is completely unacceptable! Unfuse or I'll make you!
:''[Ruby and Sapphire fuse and become Garnet]''
:'''Garnet''': You'll have to go through me!
:'''Pearl''': (''gasp'') And me! (''Runs over to Amethyst and fuses into Opal'')
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah!
:''[two jades quickly fuse as well]''
:'''Lemon Jade''': And me! ''[Opal and Stevonnie look at Garnet, and she shrugs]'' I knew it! I knew I couldn't be the only one!
:''[Yellow Diamond strikes the Jade Fusion, Opal, and Garnet with her lightning powers, causing them all to poof]''
:'''Stevonnie''': Opal! Garnet!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink, you've gone too far even for you. ''[picks up Stevonnie and throws them into a dark room]'' Stay in here and think about what you've done!
:'''Stevonnie''': No, wait!
:''[Yellow Diamond closes the door, ends the episode]''

===''Escapism''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I guess I have to face, that in this awful place, I shouldn't show a trace... of doubt. / But pulled against the grain, I feel a little pain, that I would rather do... without. / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / Free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / from here. ♫

===''Change Your Mind''===
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and looks up at the prison tower window]'' Oh, right -- prison.
:''[Blue Diamond enters]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you! Making a scene like that.
:''' Steven''': We weren't trying to make a scene! We were just... ''[turns to see that Connie is not present]'' dancing?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you -- making a scene like that!
:'''Steven''': Whoa -- dejá blue.
:'''Connie''': We didn't mean any harm! I asked Steven to dance; he wasn't trying to cause trouble!
:'''Blue Diamond''': What do you know about this, human?
:'''Connie''': ''[chuckles]'' You think I've never been grounded before?
:'''Blue Diamond''': &quot;Grounded?&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': This isn't normal. How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[defensive]'' I didn't, I... and I'm doing it again... aren't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What... are you doing?
:'''Steven''': I'm taking back my friends!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[closes her eyes as she looks up from Steven to readdress Blue; annoyed]'' What are you doing, Blue? Take Pink back to the tower.
:'''Blue Diamond''': She prefers to be called &quot;Steven.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[slams her hand so forcefully against her throne that it cracks, stands up and assumes an angered stance]'' What are you talking about?! You can't keep bending the rules for her, Blue! She has to set an example, and ''we'' have to set an example! If we bend the rules for her, we have to bend them for everyone!
:'''Connie''': Well, maybe you should!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Take them back to the tower, now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I won't.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Then I'll do it myself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against &lt;big&gt;'''ME?!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You'd hurt a fellow Diamond?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Didn't we hurt Pink?! She was suffering in silence for ages -- just like our Gems -- just like me! And I know ''you're'' suffering in silence, too!
:''[Yellow Diamond claps her fist and uses her lightning power on Blue, causing her to begin to destabilize and scream]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[pulls out his shield and chucks it towards Yellow Diamond's hand, disrupting her concentration]'' You don't have to do this!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Yes, I do! This is what White Diamond expects of all of us. From a thin flake of mica to the deepest, hardest stone, we all must make sacrifices for the sake of our perfect empire.
:'''Steven''': Does ''this'' look perfect to you?! My dad says if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': And that means... what?
:'''Steven''': It means if you try and make this empire perfect -- if you just wipe away everything you see as flawed -- you lose all the things that make you happy -- like hot dogs.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Or our Pink.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Uhh... ''[falls to the ground on her knees in an uncharacteristic emotional breakdown]'' Stop. Stop it, Blue. Stop using your power on me...!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Hey, White, I know I was in there with you for a second, but I barely got to talk to you at all. There are so many Gems that are hurting right now. Even Blue and Yellow are hurting. You should hear what they have to say. ''[to Blue and Yellow; whispers]'' This is it.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[struggling]'' We... W-we... We need to talk! About us. I've conquered so many worlds for the sake of the empire. I do everything you ask, and I do it all perfectly. But your very high standards put us all under a ''lot'' of pressure. A Gem could crack under so much pressure. We Diamonds may be hard, but we're also brittle.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[steps forward]'' White, we used to be close. Don't you remember? When Pink would make us laugh -- all those silly things she did for no reason. There was a reason. She wanted us to be happy together. But we weren't, and we're still not. I know my purpose isn't to be happy, but I find it harder and harder to enforce your rules when they make me miserable. When they make us all miserable.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': Well, what do you know? It's Rainbow 2.0! Now, this is a fine mess we're in. (''gasps'') That won't do. (''blows raspberry'') Rainbow Quartz powers, activate! Ah, yes. Now that's two stones, with one bird.
:''[Steven and new reformed Pearl unfuse]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wow! Nice form, Pearl.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, ''[chuckles]'' thank you. I'm particularly excited about the jacket. Aah! Steven! We fused!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Steven''': Almost. ''[looks down at Ruby and Sapphire's gems in his hands]'' Garnet, we're up against a giant robot. We need your help. Please come out. I'm here! I love you! ''[hugs them tightly as he begins to glow and starts fusing, to form Sunstone]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunstone''': Awwwwwwwwwww yeah! You better step off! Chillax, my dudes. Your rockin' pal Sunstone is holdin' it down.
:'''Pearl''': Wow!
:'''Amethyst''': Holy...
:'''Connie''': All right!
:'''Peridot''': Unbelievable!
:'''Sunstone''': Oh, you better believe it.
:'''Peridot''': Okay!
:'''Connie''': Sunstone, what are we gonna do? White Diamond's never going to listen, and she's never going to let us leave.
:'''Sunstone''': If she won't listen, we'll ''make'' her listen.
:'''Amethyst''': And ''how'' are we gonna do that?
:'''Sunstone''': I know she's in there. We'll bust into her head and change her mind.
:'''Everyone''': Right!
:'''Sunstone''': Let's take that bully down! ''[to the viewers]'' But remember kids: if you ever have to deal with a bully, be sure to tell an adult. ''[yanks Pearl and Amethyst onto their shoulders and sprints towards the giant pink foot of the ship]'' Ally-oop! ''[summons her suction cups]'' Kids, don't try this at home. Ha! Bungacowa!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': We need to be bigger.
:'''Steven''': Then let's fuse. All four of us. It's the only way we're gonna get up to her head.
:'''Amethyst''': I'm in!
:'''Pearl''': I'm in, too.
:'''Garnet''': Then it's decided. It's time to form Obsidian.
:''[Connie, Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis back away to give some space for the Crystal Gems to perform their fusion dance; Obsidian is formed by letting out a big loud cry for battle]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[amazed]'' They're HU-U-U-U-GE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You're wrong! I'm not my mom!
:'''White Diamond''': But don't you know things about her that you couldn't possibly know?
:'''Steven''': I-I've just been connecting with her. My powers, they-they help me to connect to others. I'm not her. I'm just feeling her feelings.
:'''White Diamond''': Isn't it obvious? Even though you've embedded yourself in that human child, your light can't help shining through!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Don't listen to her Steven! She's just trying to mess with you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this?! Where is Pink?
:'''Pink Steven''': She's gone.
:'''White Diamond''': What did you say? Answer me!
:'''Pink Steven''': ''[shouting]'' She's &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-NE!!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': Agh! Don't you raise your shield at me! I only want you to be yourself! If you can't do that, I'll do it &lt;big&gt;FOR YOU!!!&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Steven! ''[rushes to Steven and hugs him]'' Are you back together? Are you you?
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Yeah! I’m me! I’ve always been me.
:'''White Diamond''': ''NO!'' You are Pink Diamond! That is Pink Diamond's gem! You do not look like this! You do not sound like this! You are not half-human! You're just... acting like a child!
:'''Steven''': I ''am'' a child. What's your excuse?
:'''White Diamond''': ''[starts blushing, and notices the Gems under her control doing the same]'' What's happening? What is this? What's wrong with them? They're turning... pink! I don't understand, I'm in control, I-- ''[gasps]'' Something's wrong! With ME! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this? I feel... ridiculous. Yellow, Blue...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[gasps]'' She's off-color...
:'''White Diamond''': This can't be happening. I can't have a flaw, I'm supposed to be flawless! If I'm not perfect then... who am I? If you're not Pink, then... who are you? Who is ''anyone?''
:'''Steven''': You know, if you just let everyone be whoever they are, maybe you could let yourself be whoever you are too.
:'''White Diamond''': But I'm not supposed to be like this! I'm supposed to know better, I'm supposed to ''be'' better, I'm supposed to make ''everything'' better!
:'''Steven''': You can. But first, you're gonna have to leave your own head.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict our long journey through space will soon be over.
:'''Lars''': Welcome home, guys.
:'''Rhodonite''': We finally made it! Earth! No more running, no more hiding! No more Diamond Authority! ''[they notice the Diamonds, who have heard everything]'' Well, we're cracked.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sadie''': Lars... Look at you! You're... you're a space pirate!
:'''Lars''': Look at you! You're a rock star!
:'''Sadie''': ''[Laughs] Well... ''[Laughs]''
:''[They both laugh in unison]''
:'''Lars''': I think it suits us!
:'''Sadie''': Yeah. Me, too!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me. / I don’t need you to love me, I love me. / But I want you to know you could know me, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / Change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind. ♫

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149141</id>
      <parentid>3149138</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:33:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1700:C361:A40:D914:318B:BCB0:7647</ip>
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      <comment>/* The Trial */</comment>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
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{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Stuck Together''===
:'''Aquamarine''': Say, Rose, how do I look?
:'''Steven''': Awful, small and mean!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Topaz''': What was I thinking?
:'''Aquamarine''': That's the problem with you fusions. Sooner or later, you will become ''sentimental.'' ''[the ship rumbles, coming to a stop and a notification pops up]'' We're here. Look, just… unfuse, and we'll never speak of this again.

===''The Trial''===
:'''Steven''': ''[speaking to himself]'' I know my mom did something really bad. Whatever Homeworld has in store for me…I'm ready!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prosecuting Zircon''': Defending a rebel? Isn't that… ''treason?'' ''[chuckles]''
:'''Defense Zircon''': I was ''assigned'' to this!
:''[Blue and Yellow Pearl warp in]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': All rise for the luminous Yellow Diamond! ''[poses]''
:'''Blue Pearl''': And the lustrous Blue Diamond. ''[bows]''
:''[Blue and Yellow Diamond warp in behind them and stare down at Steven]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[looking around]'' Where is the accused?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks down at Steven]'' Is that Rose Quartz? Look at this ''hideous'' she's taken. Forget the trial, we should shatter just for looking like that.
:'''Blue Diamond''': No. I want to hear her make her case. I want to know what she thinks we're going to do with her. Because  I want to do something ''worse''.
:''[Steven gulps nervously]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[warps in their throne chairs]'' Fine. Let's just get on with it, shall we?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I heard it straight from her. She said… &quot;I'm the mighty Rose Quartz. I've got her shield and everything.&quot; And then, she threw me into space!
:'''Steven''': I tried to help you! I healed your gem!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': And who else has the ability to ''heal'' Gems, other than the villainous Rose Quartz?!
:'''Prosecuting Zircon''': And there you have it. Rose Quartz did it and that's Rose Quartz. I rest my case.
:'''Defense Zircon''': Oh, she's good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I did it!
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wha… What, what?! Stop!
:'''Blue Diamond''': No! I want to hear what she has to say.
:''[Steven is elevated up to the Diamonds' height]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': State your name for the record, please.
:'''Steven''': I, um… I am Rose Quartz… and I'm guilty.
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wait! No, don't say that!
:'''Steven''': Everything you guys I did, I did. And I did it by myself. I'm sorry. I'll accept any punishment you want to give me. ''[points down to Lars]'' Just let him go! And leave the Earth alone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Ha! Sounds like a solid confession to me.
:'''Blue Diamond''': How? How did you do it? How did you shatter Pink Diamond?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Um, well…I did it on Earth in front of Pink Diamond's palanquin. I was probably like &quot;Stop!&quot; And she was all like, &quot;No!&quot; So we fought -- I think. And she probably did some cool moves. I probably did some cool stuff, too, some jump-kicks and stuff. But I was most likely deeply conflicted about deciding to shatter her. Definitely crying. I probably had to use the Breaking Point to do it.
:'''Blue Diamond''': It was a ''sword!'' ''[covers her eyes, crying and a blue light fills the room, making everyone except Lars tear up]'' You… shattered her… with a sword! ''[starts sobbing]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[walks up and comforts Blue]'' That's quite enough testimony from you! We shall take a short recess.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Defense Zircon''': What are you saying in there?! &quot;Maybe&quot; this, &quot;probably&quot; that! Oh, what do you mean, ''probably''?!
:'''Steven''': Look I just... I don't actually know how it happened, okay?
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't ''know''?!
:'''Steven''': I...
:'''Defense Zircon''': ''[grabs Steven by the shirt collar and picks him up]'' Don't tumble my rocks! Both our gems are on the line! Did you do this or not?!
:'''Steven''': It was me, alright! ''[Defense Zircon let's go of his shirt and drops him]'' Rose Quartz did it, and I've got her gem, so I'm the one who's got to pay for this.
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't know how it happened. ''[Steven shakes his head]'' I get it. There's a reason they want you to explain how you did it.
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Defense Zircon''': It's because it doesn't make sense!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You think you can get away, Rose? You stood your ground on that little speck called Earth. But you're on ''our'' world now.

===''Off Colors''===
:'''Padparadscha''': Oh my gosh, something incredible is going to happen to Lars!

===''Lars' Head''===
:'''Steven''': But it doesn't feel right to just leave you here.
:'''Lars''': You said yourself that everyone on this planet is out to get you. You won't be safe until you're back on Earth.
:'''Steven''': But, Lars--
:'''Lars''': Don't argue with me! You're always trying to help me. You brought me back to life. Just let me be somebody who deserved it.

===''Dewey Wins''===

===''Gemcation''===

===''Raising the Barn''===

===''Back to the Kindergarten''===
:'''Peridot''': This used to make sense to me. I thought life was generated in a kindergarten. Formless, aimless energy channeled into new, useful gems. But life doesn't start in a kindergarten. It ends here. I've gotten used to plants everywhere. Bugs and breeze and sunshine...all of that has been sucked out of this place. 

===''Sadie Killer''===

===''Kevin Party''===

===''Lars of the Stars''===
:'''Emerald''': ''[on screen]'' It's over! I've got you now you miserable off-colors!
:'''Lars''': You'll ''never'' take us alive, Emerald!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lars''': You don't get it, do you, Steven? ''[starts tearing up and sniffles]'' It should be me. ''[starts crying]'' ''I'm'' the one that should be hanging out with the Cool Kids! She's getting back at me for everything I've done!
:'''Connie''': Do you really think Sadie is living her life ''just'' to get back at you?
:'''Lars''': Why else would she be having so much fun without me?!
:'''Steven''': Because life goes on, no matter what happens. She was so upset when she found out you'd be stuck in space, Lars. She really misses you, but, she can't stay sad forever. She started hanging out with the cool kids. She quit the Big Donut all because she needed to do ''something'' to feel better.
:'''Connie''': And look at you! Steven said you'd be hiding in some cave on Homeworld, but you're not! You're out here fighting for freedom with all your new friends in tow! Are ''you'' doing any of this to hurt Sadie?
:'''Lars''': No! I'm doing this because I have to. ''[tears up]'' I'd never do this to hurt Sadie because-
:'''Steven''': Because!
:'''Connie''': Because!
:'''Both''': Because you're best friends!
:''[Lars watches them fuse into Stevonnie]''
:'''Stevonnie''': And best friends wouldn't do anything to hurt each other!

===''Jungle Moon''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[squealing in excitement]'' Whoa, cool! Yellow! ''[jumps up to her chair]'' Hey, Yellow.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Oh, you're still here.
:'''Stevonnie''': What are you doing?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm commanding the dropships to colonize this planet.
:'''Stevonnie''': I wanna command a dropship!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Well, when you have your ''own'' colony, you can command whatever you want.
:'''Stevonnie''': I want a colony! ''[Yellow Diamond presses buttons on the panel with four diamonds]'' I want one now! ''[screen unlocks revealing a dropship on the panel]'' What's this?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm contacting the leader of the fleet.
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[amazed]'' Let me do it! ''[starts pressing buttons on the screen but Yellow Diamond grabs her arm]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' DON'T TOUCH THAT!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[irritated]'' Why ''not''? You have so many worlds and I don't even have ''one''! It's not fair! I want ONE! I want my own ''army''! I want my own ''planet''! I deserve it! I'm just as important as ''YOU''!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' Then why don't you act like it, Pink?!
:''[Stevonnie walks away, holding their arm, angry; approach a window and their fist clenches; Pink Diamond is seen through their reflection and the hand punches the glass smashing it; She suddenly wakes up from the dream, falling out of the hammock on the ground]''
:'''Stevonnie''': (''talking through Connie'') Whoa! ''[breathing hard]'' Steven, what was that? (''talking through Steven'') Diamonds. I'm having Diamond dreams again. But, why now? Why ''here''? ''[looks up and see a mural of Yellow Diamond]'' No way.

===''Your Mother and Mine''===
:'''Garnet''': Come on, everyone. Let me tell you the story of the ''real'' Rose Quartz. ''[Flashback story begins; narrating]'' It was Era 1. The Diamonds, unique in their flawlessness, sought to expand their perfection across the galaxy. And it was for this purpose that Pink Diamond chose her first colony-- the planet Earth. On Earth, every Gem was made to serve Pink Diamond, each with a role to play in her world's perfect empire. In comparison to their creator, their existence was ordinary. They were life-forms only meant to fit their mold, and no one had ever dared to think otherwise. Until, there was Rose Quartz. In stature, she was no different than any other Quartz. And for a time, she did her best to carry out her Diamond's bidding. However, she began to take notice of her strange colony and the life that existed there. Curiosity turned to appreciation. Appreciation turned to fondness. And fondness… turned to love. Soon she was unable to keep her findings secret, and she began asking her fellow Gems if they knew of the life on Earth and what they made of it. She continued to pry her fellow Kindergartners with questions ''so'' odd, that word of her eventually made its way to Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz was summoned at once.
:'''Pink Diamond''': Quartz, what have you been saying down there?
:'''Rose''': My Diamond, it has come to my attention that your colony, Earth, bears life. While I know these organic life-forms serve no purpose, I ask that we leave this planet and spare their lives.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Pink Diamond thought for a moment, and then laughed, a wicked, empty sound.
:'''Pink Diamond''': ''[laughing]'' You wish to save these life-forms at the expense of our own? Ha! Don't be absurd. Return to your post, and I will forget your insolence.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' And with that, Rose Quartz was dragged back to her kindergarten for duty. ''[A gem drags Rose away and she continues working]'' Only Rose could no longer stand to continue aiding in the destruction of Earth. She had no choice. She had to fight.
:'''Rose''': ''[stops working and jumps into the air, changing her uniform into a dress before destroying an injector, stands on the broken injector and speaks to the other Quartzes]'' Is this what you want -- to inject, to build?! I've seen the life that exists for itself, and it lives here! Will you destroy it, or will you join it?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Rose's message began to resonate to Pink Diamond's dismay. Her colony was falling apart. So, like a coward, she called for her Diamond allies, Yellow and Blue, to help. But Rose also found herself with allies, other Gems that were cast out for being wrong-- a Pearl who belonged to no one… a Bismuth who built weapons for rebels instead of towers for tyrants… An entirely new fusion, for not power, but for love… And countless others, all inspired by Rose to live for ourselves on Earth. She was our leader. And Earth was our precious home. And those who fought to save it became known as…the Crystal Gems!
:'''Rhodonite''': Unbelievable!
:'''Rutile Twins''': There were Gems like us?
:'''Padparadscha''': Fighting.
:'''Fluorite''': For… their… freedom?
:'''Garnet''': Yes, and we were fearless! ''[Flashback resumes; narrating]'' It was an impossible fight, but we fought anyway. And the more Gems who saw us, the more who joined. But Pink Diamond's forces proved too strong. Rose feared that soon she would have nothing left to protect. Rose Quartz drew her rebel blade… and shattered Pink Diamond, saving the Earth for all time from her reign of terror.
:'''Rutile Twins''': Wow! That's incredible! I don't believe it!
:'''Lars''': ''[to Steven]'' Your mom did all that? That's awesome!
:'''Rhodonite''': Wait. What about the rest? What happened after that?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The other Diamonds were furious. In a last-ditch attempt to wipe out the Rebellion, the Diamonds launched a direct attack against Earth. And in their fury, they used their powers to end the fighting once and for all.
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict this story won't have a happy ending.
:'''Rutile Twins''': We were all told different stories. But they all ended the same way.
:'''Fluorite''': With Rose Quartz… being… defeated.
:'''Rhodonite''': This new version of the story is even worse! So, she was great, and they beat her? What are we supposed to get out of this -- that we can never win?!
:'''Garnet''': We haven't yet, but we can, and we will. They said they annihilated Rose's rebellion, but here ''we'' are. They said they annihilated all of you on Homeworld, but here ''you'' are! They think they have us on the run, but they're the ones that are running from the truth. And the truth is we... are... everywhere!
:'''Rhodonite''': But how many more of us can there be?
:'''Steven''': Way more than you think! I was only on Homeworld for, like, an hour before I ran in to you guys. There must be Off Colors all over the place.
:'''Garnet''': Rose used to say there was something about Earth -- something that set Gems free. But it's not just Earth. Look at you. Love, freedom -- it's universal. You all prove it every moment you live as yourselves. You can show everyone.
:'''Fluorite''': We… can do that?
:'''Lars''': Not while we're floating out here like sitting ducks.

===''The Big Show''===

===''Pool Hopping''===
:'''Garnet''': I think I get it.
:'''Steven''': Hm?
:'''Garnet''': Why my future vision has been so off. I have to change the way I think about you. 
:'''Steven''': What?
:'''Garnet''': I've been looking into probable futures where you act like a child. I keep expecting you to run from responsibility and to turn to me for help, but you don't do that anymore. Those futures aren't probable at all. There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision. I just need to factor in that you've grown up.

===''Letters to Lars''===

===''Can't Go Back''===
:'''Blue Diamond''': But this is what you wanted.
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and gasps; turns to see Lapis is nowhere to be seen]'' Lapis? ''[faces forward, seeing the silhouettes of Blue, Yellow, and Pink Diamond]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': You begged us for a colony of your own, and now all you want to do is be rid of it. First there were too many organics. Then their cities were too difficult to dismantle, and -- and now these Crystal Gems. We're tired of your excuses, Pink.
:'''Steven''': The Diamonds.
:'''Blue Diamond''': This Rose Quartz can't hurt you. You can't be swayed by a few unruly Gems. ''[Holds her hand up in front of Pink Diamond as she's about to speak]'' Enough! You must understand, you are a Diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you. You don't even have to do anything. Just smile and wave. Show everyone you're unfazed by this little uprising. Your Gems will fall into line, and these Crystal Gems will be no more. As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Lapis flies away, Steven looks at the mural of Pink Diamond and turns to Lion]''
:'''Steven''': Lion, I need you to take me to Pearl.

===''A Single Pale Rose''===
:'''Steven''': It better not turn out that her phone was in her pocket...or she left it on the dresser or dropped it in the toilet. Seems about as likely as putting it away in your repressed war memories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Steven returns from Pearl's gem after learning the truth about how Rose Quartz &quot;shattered&quot; Pink Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': I know.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[tearing up]'' I wanted to tell you for ''so'' long.
:'''Steven''': Mom was Pink Diamond.
:''[Garnet and Amethyst stand in shock behind Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?'''&lt;/big&gt;

===''Now We're Only Falling Apart''===
:'''Amethyst''': Let me get this straight. Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gems, Steven's mom, was actually Pink Diamond?!
:'''Steven''': She faked her own shattering, and reformed to be Rose all the time.
:'''Pearl''': Pink Diamond's final command to me was that no one could know, but now that Steven does, I can finally tell you all everything!
:'''Amethyst''': Phew! I mean, a pink lion, a pink sword, and now Pink Diamond?! Huh, if you told me Rose invented cotton candy, I'd believe it. Right, Garnet? Uh, Garnet?
:'''Garnet''': ''[shaking and gets up]'' Rose. She... she... ''[struggles to stay stable and defuses into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': ''[betrayed and heartbroken with anger]'' '''SHE LIED TO US!''' She lied about EVERYTHING! ''[freezes up the floor]'' She held our hands, looked us right in the eyes, and told us to never question who we are as Garnet. We never questioned ourselves, or her!
:'''Ruby''': We couldn't have known!
:'''Sapphire''': No, you couldn't have known. You never know what's going on. That's what I'm for!
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': But I never looked into her, I trusted her. I let her make fools of us all! ''[storms over to the warp pad]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire, wait!
:'''Steven''': Guys! ''[slips on the ice]''
:'''Ruby''': Please…We can just stay calm and talk about this, right? Let's just, talk.
:'''Sapphire''': Talk about what? How our relationship is based on a lie? What else is there to say? ''[warps away to Rose's Fountain]''
:'''Pearl''': Ruby, I am so sorry.
:'''Steven''': Come on, Pearl. Help me explain everything to Sapphire.
:'''Pearl''': Right.
:'''Steven''': Sit tight, Ruby. We'll go and get Sapphire.
:'''Ruby''': Okay. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sapphire''': ''[grieving]'' Everything we were running from, she was right there all along…using us for her little war…smiling at us with those knowing eyes… Making me believe in a better future that I couldn't see, because it wasn't real. And now here we are, our friends, shattered, and corrupted…of course she was a Diamond. What a long road she took to torture us all like this.
:'''Steven''': It wasn't like that. You know she didn't want anyone to get hurt.
:'''Sapphire''': I don't know that! I clearly don't know anything.
:'''Pearl''': You deserve to know everything. I was given to Pink Diamond just a few thousand years before she was given the Earth. I was supposed to make her happy, I just never could.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Is everything alright, my Diamond? You seem troubled.
:'''Rose''': All this life that's been growing wild here on Earth…none of it will survive my invasion. We're not creating life from nothing. We're ''taking'' life, and leaving nothing behind.
:'''Pearl''': Forgive me, my Diamond. I shouldn't have brought you to such a place.
:'''Rose''': No. I needed to see this.
:''[scene shifts back to the fountain]''
:'''Steven''': So she ''did'' want to protect Earth. She didn't realize what the colony was doing to the planet.
:'''Sapphire''': So what?! She suddenly started to care about Earth? Why did she have to rope us into all this? Why couldn't she just stop the colonization herself?
:'''Pearl''': She ''tried''. When she told the other Diamonds she didn't want to go through with the colony, they told her to finish what she started. When she told the other Diamonds she wanted to preserve life on Earth, they created the zoo and threw a handful of humans in. She did everything she could as Pink Diamond. But her status meant nothing to Blue and Yellow. So she decided to make a stand, as someone they couldn't ignore. She was going to scare every Gem off the planet. But everything changed when she saw…your fusion.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Before Garnet, Rose was only fighting for Earth. But Garnet changed everything. Rose wanted to fight for her, she wanted to fight for Gems! And maybe she was foolish, and maybe even...selfish, but she was-
:'''Sapphire''': Following us.
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Sapphire''': This whole time, we thought we were following her, but she was following ''us''. How could she not after you swept her off her feet?

===''What's your Problem''===

===''The Question''===

===''Made of Honor''===
:'''Steven''': So, my Dad will finish playing the music, and then next you'll do the &quot;I do's.&quot; And then I'll say… &quot;I now pronounce you Garnet.&quot; And then you fuse! Everyone will cheer!
:'''Sapphire''': Everyone… who survived.
:'''Ruby''': Huh?
:'''Sapphire''': Oh, it's just… There's so many old friends who won't be able to come. All the Crystal Gems who were corrupted and bubbled in the basement.
:'''Ruby''': Maybe we could bring the bubbles up here?
:'''Sapphire''': No, no. It's not safe. We can't risk them getting out.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Hey everyone. Did you guys &quot;Bismi-th&quot; me?
:''[Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby and Amethyst drop their sodas simultaneously]''
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I win! Also, less importantly, who are you?
:'''Steven''': I… invited Bismuth! I hope that's cool.
:'''Sapphire''': ''[slowly walks up to her]'' Bismuth. ''[hugs her]''
:'''Bismuth''': Whoa, Sapphire!
:'''Pearl and Ruby''': Bismuth! ''[tackle her to the floor, and begin nuzzling her]''
:'''Sapphire''': You wouldn't believe what we've all been through. I'm so sorry! We should've-
:'''Bismuth''': Look, I'm right there with you, Steven filled me in.
:'''Peridot''': So, is anyone going to introduce me?
:'''Amethyst''': Let's give 'em some space.

===''Reunited''===
:'''Steven''': Dearly beloved Gems, humans, lions big and small, living gourds, Onion, we are gathered here today to celebrate Ruby and Sapphire, two of my favorite people, who combine into one of my other favorite people! You all probably know her as Garnet. She's their love, given form. Now it's your turn to talk about that.
:'''Ruby''': I know this is all kind of silly, I mean, we've been together for 5,750 years.
:'''Sapphire''': And 8 months.
:'''Ruby''': I used to feel like I wasn't much good, just one of me on my own. But when we're together, it feels like it's okay to just be me. So I wanna be me, with you, an-and, not even the Diamonds will come between us. And if they try, we'll beat em up!
:'''Sapphire''': Ruby, my future used to look like one single, obvious stream, unbending 'til the end of time. In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures, streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will. ''[beat]'' What I mean is, you changed my life. And then, I changed your life. And now, we changed our lives.
:'''Steven''': Bismuth, the rings.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[gently bumps Bismuth]'' Hey, Bismuth, that's your cue.
:''[Bismuth, touched and crying by the vows, approaches them with the rings]''
:'''Steven''': Ruby, do you take this Gem to have and to hold, on this and every other planet in the universe!?
:'''Ruby''': I DO!
:'''Steven''': And Sapphire, do you-
:'''Sapphire''': Yes.
:'''Steven''': ''[whispering]'' You didn't let me finish.
:'''Sapphire''': I'm just very excited.
:'''Steven''': Then by the power vested in me by the state of Delmarva, I now pronounce you… Garnet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': What a wonderful idea. Humans found a way to make a moment's decision last forever. I won't need future vision to know I'll always remember this.
:'''Steven''': I'm so glad. ''[starts tearing up]''
:'''Garnet''': Oh no. I'm sorry. Don't cry.
:'''Steven''': ''[wipes off the tears]'' I guess seeing everyone together got me really choked up. ''[bigger tears begin flowing out of his eyes]'' Wait a second. You don't think…?
:'''Garnet''': ''[takes off her visor, opening her third eye]'' Blue Diamond!
:'''Steven''': She's here?!
:'''Garnet''': And she's not alone.
:''[The sky darkens quickly and everyone looks up to the sky, seeing Blue and Yellow Diamond's ships approaching]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, no. It's the Diamonds! ''[runs up to Nanefua]'' Nanefua, get on your Nane-phone! We've got a code blue ''and'' a code yellow!
:'''Garnet''': This is it.
:''[As the Diamond ships approach the beach, they fly overhead them]''
:'''Peridot''': WE'RE OVER HERE, YOU CLODS!
:'''Pearl''': Wha- where are they going?!
:'''Steven''': If they're not here for us, they must be here for the Cluster!
:'''Bismuth''': What's the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': It's a huge earth-destroying geo-weapon that the Diamonds made out of a bajillion gem shards!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[approaching Blue Diamond]'' Blue Diamond, please listen to me! I didn't shatter Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond's right here. It's pretty interesting when you think about it--
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''ENOUGH!'' ''[hurls an energy blast at Steven, knocking him back, only for Alexandrite to catch him]''
:'''Steven''': Wait!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You cannot fathom how much I've mourned, what thousands of years of grief has done to me! ''[unleashes her aura, de-fusing Alexandrite, making everyone (except Connie), fall on their knees and tear up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I know this sword… This is the sword that '''SHATTERED HER!''' ''[angrily shatters the sword as Steven gasps, which made Connie fall down only to be caught by Lion]'' You deserve this-- ''all'' of you!
:'''Steven''': Stop, please!
:'''Amethyst''': Steven…
:'''Pearl''': What do we do?
:'''Steven''': I don't know. She won't listen, she just wants to fight!
:'''Garnet''': Blue Diamond!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Who are you supposed to be?
:'''Garnet''': I am the will of two Gems to care for each other, to protect each other from any threat, no matter how vast or how cruel. You couldn't stop me 5,750 years ago, and you can't stop me now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you, that Ruby and Sapphire that disrupted my court.
:'''Garnet''': This is supposed to be MY day!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You hope to defeat me by clinging to my feet?
:'''Garnet''': I just needed to keep you from taking three steps to the right.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': With all our strength together, we can take her down!
:'''Steven''': That's right! This is our home, our planet, our friends and family! We are the Crystal Gems!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pathetic! You are &lt;big&gt;'''NOTHING!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I told her off, once. I can do it again. ''[jumps off Bismuth's hands and runs up to Yellow Diamond]'' Hey! Yellow Clod! '''''REMEMBER ME?!'''''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': No. ''[zaps and poofs Peridot to her gemstone]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[jumps off Garnet's hands and runs up to the Diamonds]'' Don't do this! Listen to me, ''I'm'' the one you're missing! I'm Pink Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[shocked and angry]'' '''''You!''''' ''[charges towards Steven as he summons his shield]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:''[Yellow Diamond stomps her foot on Steven in fury, knocking him out unconsciously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lapis Lazuli''': What else have you got?! I've only just begun to fight! ''[gets zapped and poofed to her gemstone by Yellow Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked gasp]'' Lapis!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''How miserable. I knew Pink couldn't handle her own colony. But, I gave in. And now, I'm to blame for her fate.''
:'''Steven''': Ah, her thoughts are too strong!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''What good will any of this do? The more I make these Gems suffer, the more I long to see you again, Pink.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': This feeling, I know it!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It must be a trick! Show yourself, foe!
:'''Steven''': I'm not your foe. Please, just listen to me!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': There!
:'''Steven''': ''Please, the fighting has to stop. We aren't enemies. We're family. Please listen to me. I need you to know who I am!!!''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Impossible.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': This aura...
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you! Pink!

===''Legs From Here to Homeworld''===
:'''Garnet''': We can't just hand Steven over to Blue Diamond, she's a shatterer!
:'''Bismuth''': She's not gonna hurt him, look at her. She really thinks he's one of them.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sobbing loudly]'' Somebody make Blue Diamond stop!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Pearl''': It's just… ''[sniffles]'' Blue Diamond's power. She's obviously relieved that Pink Diamond wasn't shattered after all.
:''[Yellow Diamond tries to reactive her ship but fails]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. How could you do this to us, Pink? Why did you let us think you were shattered? Why the strange disguise? Why are you doing a voice? Why didn't you say something at the trial?! And Blue, could you please stop crying? I can't see. ''[wipes her tears, splashing the Gems]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Sorry. ''[sets Steven down]''
:'''Steven''': My mom kept it secret from everyone.
:'''Pearl''': Ahem.
:'''Steven''': Almost everyone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': Well, apparently, Mom… Oh, geez. You don't know what a mom is. Okay, Pink Diamond took the form of Rose Quartz permanently after faking her shattering. Then, Rose Quartz gave up ''that'' form to create a new life with my dad-- me. Rose passed her gemstone and some of her powers onto me, but that's all. I-I don't have any of Pink ''or'' Rose's memories. I'm sorry.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. I'm sure your memories are in there somewhere, Pink.
:'''Steven''': Actually, I go by &quot;Steven.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': We can only do so much, if it was the ''four'' of us.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Oh, no. We can't let ''her'' see this!
:'''Steven''': Who? Who do we need?!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What do you mean, &quot;who?&quot; White.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' White Diamond?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While traveling to Homeworld]''
:'''Steven''': Should I have brought a gift for White Diamond? We ''are'' dropping in unexpectedly, and… I want to make a good first impression. Her help will mean everything for the Corrupted Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Steven...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmph. &quot;Good impression&quot;? We'll be lucky if she ever ''speaks'' to us again after this.
:'''Steven''': But...
:'''Blue Diamond''': The thing is, White... can be... ''difficult''.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we show up in this ship, it will be irrefutable that the last 6,000 years are now the biggest galactic embarrassment that's ever happened. And ''we're'' the ones to blame. (''to Steven'') If you don't want to be in a bubble for the next few millennia, I suggest you let ''me'' do the talking.

===''Familiar''===
:'''Steven''': Pearl!
:'''Pearl''': Steven! ''[runs over to Steven and hugs him]'' Oh, thank the stars! You're okay! What did White Diamond do? Did she hurt you?
:'''Steven''': No, she was like, &quot;Welcome home.&quot; I don't think she understands that I'm not Pink Diamond. Where's Connie? And Garnet and Amethyst?
:'''Pearl''': They're still on the ship. ''[summons a hot dog bag]'' I'm only here because I'm bringing your things. And they consider me one of your things.
:'''Steven''': Yeesh.
:''[Diamond chime plays]''
:'''Pearl''': The Diamond chime -- it's Yellow.
:''[The door opens, revealing Yellow Pearl standing right there]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond, my Diamond has requested your presence in the extraction chamber.
:'''Pearl''': Let's get you into a suit. ''[opens the bag]''
:''[Steven, wearing his yellow swimsuit, Pearl, and Yellow Pearl walk through a yellow hallway]''
:'''Steven''': Swim trunks don't seem very formal.
:'''Pearl''': Trust me, this will be more comfortable than jeans.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Please, call me Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Steven.
:'''Steven''': No, just Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Just Steven.
:'''Steven''': Call me... Lasagna.
:'''Pearl''': Steven, stop. You're going to break her. ''[opens the extraction chamber door]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Have a nice extraction, Pink Lasagna.
:''[Steven walks into the extraction chamber sauna]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink.
:'''Steven''': Hi, Yellow. Cool sauna.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It's new. Have a seat. ''[Steven uses his floating powers to jump up and takes a seat]'' So, you met with White. How was it?
:'''Steven''': All I got to say was, &quot;Hi,&quot; and, &quot;um,&quot; and, &quot;I.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Two and a half words -- that's a record.
:'''Steven''': Two and a half words isn't enough. I still need to talk to White about healing all the corrupted Gems!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. Good luck. White never leaves her own head these days, and she never lets anyone in -- except you, I guess. It's so unfair. I have hundreds of successful crystal system colonies, but you get to see her because your one colony is a failure!
:'''Steven''': Maybe you should just… ''fail?''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks momentarily shocked, then starts laughing]'' Oh, Pink, you always did have quite a knack for making me laugh. You're almost worth the trouble.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[showing up]'' Pink Diamond, my Diamond was requested your presence.
:''[Steven, Pearl, and Blue Pearl walk down a blue hallway]''
:'''Steven''': We barely talked about White at all. She had to rush to do a report, and I couldn't go with her. I get they're, like, busy, 'cause they're dictators and everything, but I need more time! ''[gasps and face-palms]'' I should have asked her what she was doing after the Citron thing!
:'''Pearl''': She'll be at that for a while. Yellow Diamond oversees all aspects of Gem production on every single one of her colonies. And when she's not doing that, she's off with her army, conquering the next one.
:'''Steven''': What about their days off, weekends?
:'''Blue Pearl''': My Diamond is awaiting our arrival.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[turns to Pearl]'' Welcome back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're here! Come in.
:'''Steven''': Okay! ''[runs and jumps into the pool, laughing]'' Whoo-hoo! (''laughing'') It's funny! I -- I live right next to the ocean, but I end up going to space to swim.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[laughs, causing the pool to shake a bit]'' You haven't changed. So silly. So small.
:'''Steven''': I'm not done growing. I'm not sure I can catch up to you and Yellow, though.
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm so glad you're back... Steven.
:'''Steven''': Y-You actually said my name!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Steven. Steee-von? (''chuckles'') It's such a funny sounding name. You're so creative, Pink.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': (''sighs'') This is so weird. Was this some sort of spa day or something? And what about Pink? Did she have a job here, or did she just sit in a room while they were off doing whatever?
:'''Pearl''': Before her colony, Pink used to throw massive balls.
:'''Steven''': ''[surprised]'' She was a juggler?!
:'''Pearl''': No -- Well, yes. But she would also throw parties for the other Diamonds to mark their many accomplishments. Every member of every court would show up to bask in the presence of all four Diamonds.
:'''Steven''': Even White would come?
:'''Pearl''': Oh, yes! Huh. I wonder what's even become of Pink's court.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ♫ Oh, I'll get them all together in one place / And once we're all together face-to-face / I'll show them all the error of their ways / And stop their spread of terror across space! ♫

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I figured it out! Remember back when I was little and maybe kind of annoying, and I couldn't come along on adventures? You guys would still drop everything to hang out with me! That's Pink Diamond! I know I can do this! Just watch -- I'm gonna throw a huge ball, and I'm gonna invite everyone!

===''Together Alone''===
:'''Pearl''': The Pebbles have been working all night. What do you think?
:'''Steven''': It almost feels like home.
:'''Garnet''': Almost.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': A ball? We haven't had a ball in 6,000 years.
:'''Blue Diamond''': We haven't had Pink in 6,000 years!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! When White Diamond shows up we can tell her why we need her help on Earth!
:'''Blue Diamond''': And, this can also mark the beginning of Era 3.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You're right, it's brilliant.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Yellow! Thank you, Blue!
:'''Blue Diamond''': If White is going to be there everything has to be perfect! Pink, can you manage this on your own? Our Pearls can help you get started.
:'''Blue Pearl''': At your service, Pink Diamond.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Make sure you go through all of our customs with Pink, since she has so much trouble recalling her past here on Homeworld.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Yes, My Diamond.
:'''Pearl''': Era 3! Steven, you're already changing the world!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! Come on, party Pearls!
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': We are at your command, Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Just call me Steven.
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': Whatever you command, Pink Diamond.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Balloons everywhere! Confetti cannons too!
:'''Amethyst''': Dibs on being the confetti cannon!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Cannons are ''forbidden'' inside palace walls. These &quot;balloons&quot; you're referring to, are unprecedented and therefore out of the question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond! Your subjects will do the dancing for you! Why would a Diamond want to dance?
:'''Steven''': Because dancing's fun!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': What is &quot;fun&quot;?
:'''Connie''': You know, it's when you do something you wanna do, just because it feels good.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': I don't think we do that here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': The Sapphire will need to enter with the other Sapphires of course, and the Ruby will need to enter with the guard.
:'''Steven''': Woah, woah, woah. Are you talking about Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Garnet? Does &quot;that&quot; call herself a Garnet? What would you have her do? Enter with the Demantoids, the Hessonites, the Pyropes? Pink, I'm being very generous, but you can't expect me to-
:'''Garnet''': I won't go.
:'''Steven''': Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': At least the Sapphire in there has some sense.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Everyone, behold! The daunting, beauty and elegance that is, Yellow Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Not a bad turnout, Pink.
:'''Steven''': I appreciate your attendance, Yellow.
:'''Blue Pearl''': Ahem, everyone prepare yourselves emotionally for the overpowering elegance that is, Blue Diamond.
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're doing great.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Blue.
:'''White Pearl''': To those in attendance of the Era 3 ball, White Diamond... has more important things to attend to.
:'''Steven''': WHAT?!
:'''White Pearl''': Therefore, I will be here to observe in her place. Welcome to Era 3.
:'''Steven''': Gra!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': (''through gritted teeth'') Pink, what are you doing?!
:'''Stevonnie''': I was just dancing! (''sees they have fused and everybody else looks in shock'')
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pink, this is completely unacceptable! Unfuse or I'll make you!
:''[Ruby and Sapphire fuse and become Garnet]''
:'''Garnet''': You'll have to go through me!
:'''Pearl''': (''gasp'') And me! (''Runs over to Amethyst and fuses into Opal'')
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah!
:''[two jades quickly fuse as well]''
:'''Lemon Jade''': And me! ''[Opal and Stevonnie look at Garnet, and she shrugs]'' I knew it! I knew I couldn't be the only one!
:''[Yellow Diamond strikes the Jade Fusion, Opal, and Garnet with her lightning powers, causing them all to poof]''
:'''Stevonnie''': Opal! Garnet!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink, you've gone too far even for you. ''[picks up Stevonnie and throws them into a dark room]'' Stay in here and think about what you've done!
:'''Stevonnie''': No, wait!
:''[Yellow Diamond closes the door, ends the episode]''

===''Escapism''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I guess I have to face, that in this awful place, I shouldn't show a trace... of doubt. / But pulled against the grain, I feel a little pain, that I would rather do... without. / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / Free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / from here. ♫

===''Change Your Mind''===
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and looks up at the prison tower window]'' Oh, right -- prison.
:''[Blue Diamond enters]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you! Making a scene like that.
:''' Steven''': We weren't trying to make a scene! We were just... ''[turns to see that Connie is not present]'' dancing?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you -- making a scene like that!
:'''Steven''': Whoa -- dejá blue.
:'''Connie''': We didn't mean any harm! I asked Steven to dance; he wasn't trying to cause trouble!
:'''Blue Diamond''': What do you know about this, human?
:'''Connie''': ''[chuckles]'' You think I've never been grounded before?
:'''Blue Diamond''': &quot;Grounded?&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': This isn't normal. How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[defensive]'' I didn't, I... and I'm doing it again... aren't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What... are you doing?
:'''Steven''': I'm taking back my friends!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[closes her eyes as she looks up from Steven to readdress Blue; annoyed]'' What are you doing, Blue? Take Pink back to the tower.
:'''Blue Diamond''': She prefers to be called &quot;Steven.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[slams her hand so forcefully against her throne that it cracks, stands up and assumes an angered stance]'' What are you talking about?! You can't keep bending the rules for her, Blue! She has to set an example, and ''we'' have to set an example! If we bend the rules for her, we have to bend them for everyone!
:'''Connie''': Well, maybe you should!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Take them back to the tower, now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I won't.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Then I'll do it myself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against &lt;big&gt;'''ME?!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You'd hurt a fellow Diamond?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Didn't we hurt Pink?! She was suffering in silence for ages -- just like our Gems -- just like me! And I know ''you're'' suffering in silence, too!
:''[Yellow Diamond claps her fist and uses her lightning power on Blue, causing her to begin to destabilize and scream]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[pulls out his shield and chucks it towards Yellow Diamond's hand, disrupting her concentration]'' You don't have to do this!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Yes, I do! This is what White Diamond expects of all of us. From a thin flake of mica to the deepest, hardest stone, we all must make sacrifices for the sake of our perfect empire.
:'''Steven''': Does ''this'' look perfect to you?! My dad says if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': And that means... what?
:'''Steven''': It means if you try and make this empire perfect -- if you just wipe away everything you see as flawed -- you lose all the things that make you happy -- like hot dogs.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Or our Pink.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Uhh... ''[falls to the ground on her knees in an uncharacteristic emotional breakdown]'' Stop. Stop it, Blue. Stop using your power on me...!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Hey, White, I know I was in there with you for a second, but I barely got to talk to you at all. There are so many Gems that are hurting right now. Even Blue and Yellow are hurting. You should hear what they have to say. ''[to Blue and Yellow; whispers]'' This is it.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[struggling]'' We... W-we... We need to talk! About us. I've conquered so many worlds for the sake of the empire. I do everything you ask, and I do it all perfectly. But your very high standards put us all under a ''lot'' of pressure. A Gem could crack under so much pressure. We Diamonds may be hard, but we're also brittle.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[steps forward]'' White, we used to be close. Don't you remember? When Pink would make us laugh -- all those silly things she did for no reason. There was a reason. She wanted us to be happy together. But we weren't, and we're still not. I know my purpose isn't to be happy, but I find it harder and harder to enforce your rules when they make me miserable. When they make us all miserable.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': Well, what do you know? It's Rainbow 2.0! Now, this is a fine mess we're in. (''gasps'') That won't do. (''blows raspberry'') Rainbow Quartz powers, activate! Ah, yes. Now that's two stones, with one bird.
:''[Steven and new reformed Pearl unfuse]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wow! Nice form, Pearl.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, ''[chuckles]'' thank you. I'm particularly excited about the jacket. Aah! Steven! We fused!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Steven''': Almost. ''[looks down at Ruby and Sapphire's gems in his hands]'' Garnet, we're up against a giant robot. We need your help. Please come out. I'm here! I love you! ''[hugs them tightly as he begins to glow and starts fusing, to form Sunstone]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunstone''': Awwwwwwwwwww yeah! You better step off! Chillax, my dudes. Your rockin' pal Sunstone is holdin' it down.
:'''Pearl''': Wow!
:'''Amethyst''': Holy...
:'''Connie''': All right!
:'''Peridot''': Unbelievable!
:'''Sunstone''': Oh, you better believe it.
:'''Peridot''': Okay!
:'''Connie''': Sunstone, what are we gonna do? White Diamond's never going to listen, and she's never going to let us leave.
:'''Sunstone''': If she won't listen, we'll ''make'' her listen.
:'''Amethyst''': And ''how'' are we gonna do that?
:'''Sunstone''': I know she's in there. We'll bust into her head and change her mind.
:'''Everyone''': Right!
:'''Sunstone''': Let's take that bully down! ''[to the viewers]'' But remember kids: if you ever have to deal with a bully, be sure to tell an adult. ''[yanks Pearl and Amethyst onto their shoulders and sprints towards the giant pink foot of the ship]'' Ally-oop! ''[summons her suction cups]'' Kids, don't try this at home. Ha! Bungacowa!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': We need to be bigger.
:'''Steven''': Then let's fuse. All four of us. It's the only way we're gonna get up to her head.
:'''Amethyst''': I'm in!
:'''Pearl''': I'm in, too.
:'''Garnet''': Then it's decided. It's time to form Obsidian.
:''[Connie, Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis back away to give some space for the Crystal Gems to perform their fusion dance; Obsidian is formed by letting out a big loud cry for battle]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[amazed]'' They're HU-U-U-U-GE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You're wrong! I'm not my mom!
:'''White Diamond''': But don't you know things about her that you couldn't possibly know?
:'''Steven''': I-I've just been connecting with her. My powers, they-they help me to connect to others. I'm not her. I'm just feeling her feelings.
:'''White Diamond''': Isn't it obvious? Even though you've embedded yourself in that human child, your light can't help shining through!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Don't listen to her Steven! She's just trying to mess with you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this?! Where is Pink?
:'''Pink Steven''': She's gone.
:'''White Diamond''': What did you say? Answer me!
:'''Pink Steven''': ''[shouting]'' She's &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-NE!!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': Agh! Don't you raise your shield at me! I only want you to be yourself! If you can't do that, I'll do it &lt;big&gt;FOR YOU!!!&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Steven! ''[rushes to Steven and hugs him]'' Are you back together? Are you you?
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Yeah! I’m me! I’ve always been me.
:'''White Diamond''': ''NO!'' You are Pink Diamond! That is Pink Diamond's gem! You do not look like this! You do not sound like this! You are not half-human! You're just... acting like a child!
:'''Steven''': I ''am'' a child. What's your excuse?
:'''White Diamond''': ''[starts blushing, and notices the Gems under her control doing the same]'' What's happening? What is this? What's wrong with them? They're turning... pink! I don't understand, I'm in control, I-- ''[gasps]'' Something's wrong! With ME! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this? I feel... ridiculous. Yellow, Blue...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[gasps]'' She's off-color...
:'''White Diamond''': This can't be happening. I can't have a flaw, I'm supposed to be flawless! If I'm not perfect then... who am I? If you're not Pink, then... who are you? Who is ''anyone?''
:'''Steven''': You know, if you just let everyone be whoever they are, maybe you could let yourself be whoever you are too.
:'''White Diamond''': But I'm not supposed to be like this! I'm supposed to know better, I'm supposed to ''be'' better, I'm supposed to make ''everything'' better!
:'''Steven''': You can. But first, you're gonna have to leave your own head.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict our long journey through space will soon be over.
:'''Lars''': Welcome home, guys.
:'''Rhodonite''': We finally made it! Earth! No more running, no more hiding! No more Diamond Authority! ''[they notice the Diamonds, who have heard everything]'' Well, we're cracked.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sadie''': Lars... Look at you! You're... you're a space pirate!
:'''Lars''': Look at you! You're a rock star!
:'''Sadie''': ''[Laughs] Well... ''[Laughs]''
:''[They both laugh in unison]''
:'''Lars''': I think it suits us!
:'''Sadie''': Yeah. Me, too!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me. / I don’t need you to love me, I love me. / But I want you to know you could know me, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / Change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind. ♫

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149154</id>
      <parentid>3149141</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:50:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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      <comment>/* The Trial */</comment>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
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{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Stuck Together''===
:'''Aquamarine''': Say, Rose, how do I look?
:'''Steven''': Awful, small and mean!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Topaz''': What was I thinking?
:'''Aquamarine''': That's the problem with you fusions. Sooner or later, you will become ''sentimental.'' ''[the ship rumbles, coming to a stop and a notification pops up]'' We're here. Look, just… unfuse, and we'll never speak of this again.

===''The Trial''===
:'''Steven''': ''[speaking to himself]'' I know my mom did something really bad. Whatever Homeworld has in store for me…I'm ready!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prosecuting Zircon''': Defending a rebel? Isn't that… ''treason?'' ''[chuckles]''
:'''Defense Zircon''': I was ''assigned'' to this!
:''[Blue and Yellow Pearl warp in]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': All rise for the luminous Yellow Diamond! ''[poses]''
:'''Blue Pearl''': And the lustrous Blue Diamond. ''[bows]''
:''[Blue and Yellow Diamond warp in behind them and stare down at Steven]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[looking around]'' Where is the accused?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks down at Steven]'' Is that Rose Quartz? Look at this ''hideous'' she's taken. Forget the trial, we should shatter just for looking like that.
:'''Blue Diamond''': No. I want to hear her make her case. I want to know what she thinks we're going to do with her. Because  I want to do something ''worse''.
:''[Steven gulps nervously]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[warps in their throne chairs]'' Fine. Let's just get on with it, shall we?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I heard it straight from her. She said… &quot;I'm the mighty Rose Quartz. I've got her shield and everything.&quot; And then, she threw me into space!
:'''Steven''': I tried to help you! I healed your gem!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': And who else has the ability to ''heal'' Gems, other than the villainous Rose Quartz?!
:'''Prosecuting Zircon''': And there you have it. Rose Quartz did it and that's Rose Quartz. I rest my case.
:'''Defense Zircon''': Oh, she's good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I did it!
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wha… What, what?! Stop!
:'''Blue Diamond''': No! I want to hear what she has to say.
:''[Steven is elevated up to the Diamonds' height]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': State your name for the record, please.
:'''Steven''': I, um… I am Rose Quartz… and I'm guilty.
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wait! No, don't say that!
:'''Steven''': Everything you guys I did, I did. And I did it by myself. I'm sorry. I'll accept any punishment you want to give me. ''[points down to Lars]'' Just let him go! And leave the Earth alone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Ha! Sounds like a solid confession to me.
:'''Blue Diamond''': How? How did you do it? How did you shatter Pink Diamond?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Um, well…I did it on Earth in front of Pink Diamond's palanquin. I was probably like &quot;Stop!&quot; And she was all like, &quot;No!&quot; So we fought -- I think. And she probably did some cool moves. I probably did some cool stuff, too, some jump-kicks and stuff. But I was most likely deeply conflicted about deciding to shatter her. Definitely crying. I probably had to use the Breaking Point to do it.
:'''Blue Diamond''': It was a ''sword!'' ''[covers her eyes, crying and a blue light fills the room, making everyone except Lars tear up]'' You… shattered her… with a sword! ''[starts sobbing]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[walks up and comforts Blue]'' That's quite enough testimony from you! We shall take a short recess.
:''[Back in the Waiting Room…]''
:'''Defense Zircon''': What are you saying in there?! &quot;Maybe&quot; this, &quot;probably&quot; that! Oh, what do you mean, ''probably?!''
:'''Steven''': Look I just... I don't actually know how it happened, okay?
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't ''know?!''
:'''Steven''': I...
:'''Defense Zircon''': ''[grabs Steven by the shirt collar and picks him up]'' Don't tumble my rocks! Both our gems are on the line! Did you do this or not?!
:'''Steven''': It was me, alright! ''[Defense Zircon let's go of his shirt and drops him]'' Rose Quartz did it, and I've got her gem, so I'm the one who's got to pay for this.
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't know how it happened. ''[Steven shakes his head]'' I get it. There's a reason they want you to explain how you did it.
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Defense Zircon''': It's because it doesn't make sense!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You think you can get away, Rose? You stood your ground on that little speck called Earth. But you're on ''our'' world now.

===''Off Colors''===
:'''Padparadscha''': Oh my gosh, something incredible is going to happen to Lars!

===''Lars' Head''===
:'''Steven''': But it doesn't feel right to just leave you here.
:'''Lars''': You said yourself that everyone on this planet is out to get you. You won't be safe until you're back on Earth.
:'''Steven''': But, Lars--
:'''Lars''': Don't argue with me! You're always trying to help me. You brought me back to life. Just let me be somebody who deserved it.

===''Dewey Wins''===

===''Gemcation''===

===''Raising the Barn''===

===''Back to the Kindergarten''===
:'''Peridot''': This used to make sense to me. I thought life was generated in a kindergarten. Formless, aimless energy channeled into new, useful gems. But life doesn't start in a kindergarten. It ends here. I've gotten used to plants everywhere. Bugs and breeze and sunshine...all of that has been sucked out of this place. 

===''Sadie Killer''===

===''Kevin Party''===

===''Lars of the Stars''===
:'''Emerald''': ''[on screen]'' It's over! I've got you now you miserable off-colors!
:'''Lars''': You'll ''never'' take us alive, Emerald!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lars''': You don't get it, do you, Steven? ''[starts tearing up and sniffles]'' It should be me. ''[starts crying]'' ''I'm'' the one that should be hanging out with the Cool Kids! She's getting back at me for everything I've done!
:'''Connie''': Do you really think Sadie is living her life ''just'' to get back at you?
:'''Lars''': Why else would she be having so much fun without me?!
:'''Steven''': Because life goes on, no matter what happens. She was so upset when she found out you'd be stuck in space, Lars. She really misses you, but, she can't stay sad forever. She started hanging out with the cool kids. She quit the Big Donut all because she needed to do ''something'' to feel better.
:'''Connie''': And look at you! Steven said you'd be hiding in some cave on Homeworld, but you're not! You're out here fighting for freedom with all your new friends in tow! Are ''you'' doing any of this to hurt Sadie?
:'''Lars''': No! I'm doing this because I have to. ''[tears up]'' I'd never do this to hurt Sadie because-
:'''Steven''': Because!
:'''Connie''': Because!
:'''Both''': Because you're best friends!
:''[Lars watches them fuse into Stevonnie]''
:'''Stevonnie''': And best friends wouldn't do anything to hurt each other!

===''Jungle Moon''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[squealing in excitement]'' Whoa, cool! Yellow! ''[jumps up to her chair]'' Hey, Yellow.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Oh, you're still here.
:'''Stevonnie''': What are you doing?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm commanding the dropships to colonize this planet.
:'''Stevonnie''': I wanna command a dropship!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Well, when you have your ''own'' colony, you can command whatever you want.
:'''Stevonnie''': I want a colony! ''[Yellow Diamond presses buttons on the panel with four diamonds]'' I want one now! ''[screen unlocks revealing a dropship on the panel]'' What's this?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm contacting the leader of the fleet.
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[amazed]'' Let me do it! ''[starts pressing buttons on the screen but Yellow Diamond grabs her arm]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' DON'T TOUCH THAT!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[irritated]'' Why ''not''? You have so many worlds and I don't even have ''one''! It's not fair! I want ONE! I want my own ''army''! I want my own ''planet''! I deserve it! I'm just as important as ''YOU''!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' Then why don't you act like it, Pink?!
:''[Stevonnie walks away, holding their arm, angry; approach a window and their fist clenches; Pink Diamond is seen through their reflection and the hand punches the glass smashing it; She suddenly wakes up from the dream, falling out of the hammock on the ground]''
:'''Stevonnie''': (''talking through Connie'') Whoa! ''[breathing hard]'' Steven, what was that? (''talking through Steven'') Diamonds. I'm having Diamond dreams again. But, why now? Why ''here''? ''[looks up and see a mural of Yellow Diamond]'' No way.

===''Your Mother and Mine''===
:'''Garnet''': Come on, everyone. Let me tell you the story of the ''real'' Rose Quartz. ''[Flashback story begins; narrating]'' It was Era 1. The Diamonds, unique in their flawlessness, sought to expand their perfection across the galaxy. And it was for this purpose that Pink Diamond chose her first colony-- the planet Earth. On Earth, every Gem was made to serve Pink Diamond, each with a role to play in her world's perfect empire. In comparison to their creator, their existence was ordinary. They were life-forms only meant to fit their mold, and no one had ever dared to think otherwise. Until, there was Rose Quartz. In stature, she was no different than any other Quartz. And for a time, she did her best to carry out her Diamond's bidding. However, she began to take notice of her strange colony and the life that existed there. Curiosity turned to appreciation. Appreciation turned to fondness. And fondness… turned to love. Soon she was unable to keep her findings secret, and she began asking her fellow Gems if they knew of the life on Earth and what they made of it. She continued to pry her fellow Kindergartners with questions ''so'' odd, that word of her eventually made its way to Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz was summoned at once.
:'''Pink Diamond''': Quartz, what have you been saying down there?
:'''Rose''': My Diamond, it has come to my attention that your colony, Earth, bears life. While I know these organic life-forms serve no purpose, I ask that we leave this planet and spare their lives.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Pink Diamond thought for a moment, and then laughed, a wicked, empty sound.
:'''Pink Diamond''': ''[laughing]'' You wish to save these life-forms at the expense of our own? Ha! Don't be absurd. Return to your post, and I will forget your insolence.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' And with that, Rose Quartz was dragged back to her kindergarten for duty. ''[A gem drags Rose away and she continues working]'' Only Rose could no longer stand to continue aiding in the destruction of Earth. She had no choice. She had to fight.
:'''Rose''': ''[stops working and jumps into the air, changing her uniform into a dress before destroying an injector, stands on the broken injector and speaks to the other Quartzes]'' Is this what you want -- to inject, to build?! I've seen the life that exists for itself, and it lives here! Will you destroy it, or will you join it?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Rose's message began to resonate to Pink Diamond's dismay. Her colony was falling apart. So, like a coward, she called for her Diamond allies, Yellow and Blue, to help. But Rose also found herself with allies, other Gems that were cast out for being wrong-- a Pearl who belonged to no one… a Bismuth who built weapons for rebels instead of towers for tyrants… An entirely new fusion, for not power, but for love… And countless others, all inspired by Rose to live for ourselves on Earth. She was our leader. And Earth was our precious home. And those who fought to save it became known as…the Crystal Gems!
:'''Rhodonite''': Unbelievable!
:'''Rutile Twins''': There were Gems like us?
:'''Padparadscha''': Fighting.
:'''Fluorite''': For… their… freedom?
:'''Garnet''': Yes, and we were fearless! ''[Flashback resumes; narrating]'' It was an impossible fight, but we fought anyway. And the more Gems who saw us, the more who joined. But Pink Diamond's forces proved too strong. Rose feared that soon she would have nothing left to protect. Rose Quartz drew her rebel blade… and shattered Pink Diamond, saving the Earth for all time from her reign of terror.
:'''Rutile Twins''': Wow! That's incredible! I don't believe it!
:'''Lars''': ''[to Steven]'' Your mom did all that? That's awesome!
:'''Rhodonite''': Wait. What about the rest? What happened after that?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The other Diamonds were furious. In a last-ditch attempt to wipe out the Rebellion, the Diamonds launched a direct attack against Earth. And in their fury, they used their powers to end the fighting once and for all.
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict this story won't have a happy ending.
:'''Rutile Twins''': We were all told different stories. But they all ended the same way.
:'''Fluorite''': With Rose Quartz… being… defeated.
:'''Rhodonite''': This new version of the story is even worse! So, she was great, and they beat her? What are we supposed to get out of this -- that we can never win?!
:'''Garnet''': We haven't yet, but we can, and we will. They said they annihilated Rose's rebellion, but here ''we'' are. They said they annihilated all of you on Homeworld, but here ''you'' are! They think they have us on the run, but they're the ones that are running from the truth. And the truth is we... are... everywhere!
:'''Rhodonite''': But how many more of us can there be?
:'''Steven''': Way more than you think! I was only on Homeworld for, like, an hour before I ran in to you guys. There must be Off Colors all over the place.
:'''Garnet''': Rose used to say there was something about Earth -- something that set Gems free. But it's not just Earth. Look at you. Love, freedom -- it's universal. You all prove it every moment you live as yourselves. You can show everyone.
:'''Fluorite''': We… can do that?
:'''Lars''': Not while we're floating out here like sitting ducks.

===''The Big Show''===

===''Pool Hopping''===
:'''Garnet''': I think I get it.
:'''Steven''': Hm?
:'''Garnet''': Why my future vision has been so off. I have to change the way I think about you. 
:'''Steven''': What?
:'''Garnet''': I've been looking into probable futures where you act like a child. I keep expecting you to run from responsibility and to turn to me for help, but you don't do that anymore. Those futures aren't probable at all. There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision. I just need to factor in that you've grown up.

===''Letters to Lars''===

===''Can't Go Back''===
:'''Blue Diamond''': But this is what you wanted.
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and gasps; turns to see Lapis is nowhere to be seen]'' Lapis? ''[faces forward, seeing the silhouettes of Blue, Yellow, and Pink Diamond]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': You begged us for a colony of your own, and now all you want to do is be rid of it. First there were too many organics. Then their cities were too difficult to dismantle, and -- and now these Crystal Gems. We're tired of your excuses, Pink.
:'''Steven''': The Diamonds.
:'''Blue Diamond''': This Rose Quartz can't hurt you. You can't be swayed by a few unruly Gems. ''[Holds her hand up in front of Pink Diamond as she's about to speak]'' Enough! You must understand, you are a Diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you. You don't even have to do anything. Just smile and wave. Show everyone you're unfazed by this little uprising. Your Gems will fall into line, and these Crystal Gems will be no more. As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Lapis flies away, Steven looks at the mural of Pink Diamond and turns to Lion]''
:'''Steven''': Lion, I need you to take me to Pearl.

===''A Single Pale Rose''===
:'''Steven''': It better not turn out that her phone was in her pocket...or she left it on the dresser or dropped it in the toilet. Seems about as likely as putting it away in your repressed war memories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Steven returns from Pearl's gem after learning the truth about how Rose Quartz &quot;shattered&quot; Pink Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': I know.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[tearing up]'' I wanted to tell you for ''so'' long.
:'''Steven''': Mom was Pink Diamond.
:''[Garnet and Amethyst stand in shock behind Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?'''&lt;/big&gt;

===''Now We're Only Falling Apart''===
:'''Amethyst''': Let me get this straight. Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gems, Steven's mom, was actually Pink Diamond?!
:'''Steven''': She faked her own shattering, and reformed to be Rose all the time.
:'''Pearl''': Pink Diamond's final command to me was that no one could know, but now that Steven does, I can finally tell you all everything!
:'''Amethyst''': Phew! I mean, a pink lion, a pink sword, and now Pink Diamond?! Huh, if you told me Rose invented cotton candy, I'd believe it. Right, Garnet? Uh, Garnet?
:'''Garnet''': ''[shaking and gets up]'' Rose. She... she... ''[struggles to stay stable and defuses into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': ''[betrayed and heartbroken with anger]'' '''SHE LIED TO US!''' She lied about EVERYTHING! ''[freezes up the floor]'' She held our hands, looked us right in the eyes, and told us to never question who we are as Garnet. We never questioned ourselves, or her!
:'''Ruby''': We couldn't have known!
:'''Sapphire''': No, you couldn't have known. You never know what's going on. That's what I'm for!
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': But I never looked into her, I trusted her. I let her make fools of us all! ''[storms over to the warp pad]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire, wait!
:'''Steven''': Guys! ''[slips on the ice]''
:'''Ruby''': Please…We can just stay calm and talk about this, right? Let's just, talk.
:'''Sapphire''': Talk about what? How our relationship is based on a lie? What else is there to say? ''[warps away to Rose's Fountain]''
:'''Pearl''': Ruby, I am so sorry.
:'''Steven''': Come on, Pearl. Help me explain everything to Sapphire.
:'''Pearl''': Right.
:'''Steven''': Sit tight, Ruby. We'll go and get Sapphire.
:'''Ruby''': Okay. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sapphire''': ''[grieving]'' Everything we were running from, she was right there all along…using us for her little war…smiling at us with those knowing eyes… Making me believe in a better future that I couldn't see, because it wasn't real. And now here we are, our friends, shattered, and corrupted…of course she was a Diamond. What a long road she took to torture us all like this.
:'''Steven''': It wasn't like that. You know she didn't want anyone to get hurt.
:'''Sapphire''': I don't know that! I clearly don't know anything.
:'''Pearl''': You deserve to know everything. I was given to Pink Diamond just a few thousand years before she was given the Earth. I was supposed to make her happy, I just never could.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Is everything alright, my Diamond? You seem troubled.
:'''Rose''': All this life that's been growing wild here on Earth…none of it will survive my invasion. We're not creating life from nothing. We're ''taking'' life, and leaving nothing behind.
:'''Pearl''': Forgive me, my Diamond. I shouldn't have brought you to such a place.
:'''Rose''': No. I needed to see this.
:''[scene shifts back to the fountain]''
:'''Steven''': So she ''did'' want to protect Earth. She didn't realize what the colony was doing to the planet.
:'''Sapphire''': So what?! She suddenly started to care about Earth? Why did she have to rope us into all this? Why couldn't she just stop the colonization herself?
:'''Pearl''': She ''tried''. When she told the other Diamonds she didn't want to go through with the colony, they told her to finish what she started. When she told the other Diamonds she wanted to preserve life on Earth, they created the zoo and threw a handful of humans in. She did everything she could as Pink Diamond. But her status meant nothing to Blue and Yellow. So she decided to make a stand, as someone they couldn't ignore. She was going to scare every Gem off the planet. But everything changed when she saw…your fusion.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Before Garnet, Rose was only fighting for Earth. But Garnet changed everything. Rose wanted to fight for her, she wanted to fight for Gems! And maybe she was foolish, and maybe even...selfish, but she was-
:'''Sapphire''': Following us.
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Sapphire''': This whole time, we thought we were following her, but she was following ''us''. How could she not after you swept her off her feet?

===''What's your Problem''===

===''The Question''===

===''Made of Honor''===
:'''Steven''': So, my Dad will finish playing the music, and then next you'll do the &quot;I do's.&quot; And then I'll say… &quot;I now pronounce you Garnet.&quot; And then you fuse! Everyone will cheer!
:'''Sapphire''': Everyone… who survived.
:'''Ruby''': Huh?
:'''Sapphire''': Oh, it's just… There's so many old friends who won't be able to come. All the Crystal Gems who were corrupted and bubbled in the basement.
:'''Ruby''': Maybe we could bring the bubbles up here?
:'''Sapphire''': No, no. It's not safe. We can't risk them getting out.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Hey everyone. Did you guys &quot;Bismi-th&quot; me?
:''[Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby and Amethyst drop their sodas simultaneously]''
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I win! Also, less importantly, who are you?
:'''Steven''': I… invited Bismuth! I hope that's cool.
:'''Sapphire''': ''[slowly walks up to her]'' Bismuth. ''[hugs her]''
:'''Bismuth''': Whoa, Sapphire!
:'''Pearl and Ruby''': Bismuth! ''[tackle her to the floor, and begin nuzzling her]''
:'''Sapphire''': You wouldn't believe what we've all been through. I'm so sorry! We should've-
:'''Bismuth''': Look, I'm right there with you, Steven filled me in.
:'''Peridot''': So, is anyone going to introduce me?
:'''Amethyst''': Let's give 'em some space.

===''Reunited''===
:'''Steven''': Dearly beloved Gems, humans, lions big and small, living gourds, Onion, we are gathered here today to celebrate Ruby and Sapphire, two of my favorite people, who combine into one of my other favorite people! You all probably know her as Garnet. She's their love, given form. Now it's your turn to talk about that.
:'''Ruby''': I know this is all kind of silly, I mean, we've been together for 5,750 years.
:'''Sapphire''': And 8 months.
:'''Ruby''': I used to feel like I wasn't much good, just one of me on my own. But when we're together, it feels like it's okay to just be me. So I wanna be me, with you, an-and, not even the Diamonds will come between us. And if they try, we'll beat em up!
:'''Sapphire''': Ruby, my future used to look like one single, obvious stream, unbending 'til the end of time. In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures, streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will. ''[beat]'' What I mean is, you changed my life. And then, I changed your life. And now, we changed our lives.
:'''Steven''': Bismuth, the rings.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[gently bumps Bismuth]'' Hey, Bismuth, that's your cue.
:''[Bismuth, touched and crying by the vows, approaches them with the rings]''
:'''Steven''': Ruby, do you take this Gem to have and to hold, on this and every other planet in the universe!?
:'''Ruby''': I DO!
:'''Steven''': And Sapphire, do you-
:'''Sapphire''': Yes.
:'''Steven''': ''[whispering]'' You didn't let me finish.
:'''Sapphire''': I'm just very excited.
:'''Steven''': Then by the power vested in me by the state of Delmarva, I now pronounce you… Garnet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': What a wonderful idea. Humans found a way to make a moment's decision last forever. I won't need future vision to know I'll always remember this.
:'''Steven''': I'm so glad. ''[starts tearing up]''
:'''Garnet''': Oh no. I'm sorry. Don't cry.
:'''Steven''': ''[wipes off the tears]'' I guess seeing everyone together got me really choked up. ''[bigger tears begin flowing out of his eyes]'' Wait a second. You don't think…?
:'''Garnet''': ''[takes off her visor, opening her third eye]'' Blue Diamond!
:'''Steven''': She's here?!
:'''Garnet''': And she's not alone.
:''[The sky darkens quickly and everyone looks up to the sky, seeing Blue and Yellow Diamond's ships approaching]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, no. It's the Diamonds! ''[runs up to Nanefua]'' Nanefua, get on your Nane-phone! We've got a code blue ''and'' a code yellow!
:'''Garnet''': This is it.
:''[As the Diamond ships approach the beach, they fly overhead them]''
:'''Peridot''': WE'RE OVER HERE, YOU CLODS!
:'''Pearl''': Wha- where are they going?!
:'''Steven''': If they're not here for us, they must be here for the Cluster!
:'''Bismuth''': What's the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': It's a huge earth-destroying geo-weapon that the Diamonds made out of a bajillion gem shards!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[approaching Blue Diamond]'' Blue Diamond, please listen to me! I didn't shatter Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond's right here. It's pretty interesting when you think about it--
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''ENOUGH!'' ''[hurls an energy blast at Steven, knocking him back, only for Alexandrite to catch him]''
:'''Steven''': Wait!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You cannot fathom how much I've mourned, what thousands of years of grief has done to me! ''[unleashes her aura, de-fusing Alexandrite, making everyone (except Connie), fall on their knees and tear up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I know this sword… This is the sword that '''SHATTERED HER!''' ''[angrily shatters the sword as Steven gasps, which made Connie fall down only to be caught by Lion]'' You deserve this-- ''all'' of you!
:'''Steven''': Stop, please!
:'''Amethyst''': Steven…
:'''Pearl''': What do we do?
:'''Steven''': I don't know. She won't listen, she just wants to fight!
:'''Garnet''': Blue Diamond!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Who are you supposed to be?
:'''Garnet''': I am the will of two Gems to care for each other, to protect each other from any threat, no matter how vast or how cruel. You couldn't stop me 5,750 years ago, and you can't stop me now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you, that Ruby and Sapphire that disrupted my court.
:'''Garnet''': This is supposed to be MY day!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You hope to defeat me by clinging to my feet?
:'''Garnet''': I just needed to keep you from taking three steps to the right.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': With all our strength together, we can take her down!
:'''Steven''': That's right! This is our home, our planet, our friends and family! We are the Crystal Gems!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pathetic! You are &lt;big&gt;'''NOTHING!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I told her off, once. I can do it again. ''[jumps off Bismuth's hands and runs up to Yellow Diamond]'' Hey! Yellow Clod! '''''REMEMBER ME?!'''''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': No. ''[zaps and poofs Peridot to her gemstone]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[jumps off Garnet's hands and runs up to the Diamonds]'' Don't do this! Listen to me, ''I'm'' the one you're missing! I'm Pink Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[shocked and angry]'' '''''You!''''' ''[charges towards Steven as he summons his shield]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:''[Yellow Diamond stomps her foot on Steven in fury, knocking him out unconsciously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lapis Lazuli''': What else have you got?! I've only just begun to fight! ''[gets zapped and poofed to her gemstone by Yellow Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked gasp]'' Lapis!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''How miserable. I knew Pink couldn't handle her own colony. But, I gave in. And now, I'm to blame for her fate.''
:'''Steven''': Ah, her thoughts are too strong!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''What good will any of this do? The more I make these Gems suffer, the more I long to see you again, Pink.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': This feeling, I know it!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It must be a trick! Show yourself, foe!
:'''Steven''': I'm not your foe. Please, just listen to me!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': There!
:'''Steven''': ''Please, the fighting has to stop. We aren't enemies. We're family. Please listen to me. I need you to know who I am!!!''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Impossible.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': This aura...
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you! Pink!

===''Legs From Here to Homeworld''===
:'''Garnet''': We can't just hand Steven over to Blue Diamond, she's a shatterer!
:'''Bismuth''': She's not gonna hurt him, look at her. She really thinks he's one of them.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sobbing loudly]'' Somebody make Blue Diamond stop!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Pearl''': It's just… ''[sniffles]'' Blue Diamond's power. She's obviously relieved that Pink Diamond wasn't shattered after all.
:''[Yellow Diamond tries to reactive her ship but fails]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. How could you do this to us, Pink? Why did you let us think you were shattered? Why the strange disguise? Why are you doing a voice? Why didn't you say something at the trial?! And Blue, could you please stop crying? I can't see. ''[wipes her tears, splashing the Gems]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Sorry. ''[sets Steven down]''
:'''Steven''': My mom kept it secret from everyone.
:'''Pearl''': Ahem.
:'''Steven''': Almost everyone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': Well, apparently, Mom… Oh, geez. You don't know what a mom is. Okay, Pink Diamond took the form of Rose Quartz permanently after faking her shattering. Then, Rose Quartz gave up ''that'' form to create a new life with my dad-- me. Rose passed her gemstone and some of her powers onto me, but that's all. I-I don't have any of Pink ''or'' Rose's memories. I'm sorry.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. I'm sure your memories are in there somewhere, Pink.
:'''Steven''': Actually, I go by &quot;Steven.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': We can only do so much, if it was the ''four'' of us.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Oh, no. We can't let ''her'' see this!
:'''Steven''': Who? Who do we need?!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What do you mean, &quot;who?&quot; White.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' White Diamond?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While traveling to Homeworld]''
:'''Steven''': Should I have brought a gift for White Diamond? We ''are'' dropping in unexpectedly, and… I want to make a good first impression. Her help will mean everything for the Corrupted Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Steven...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmph. &quot;Good impression&quot;? We'll be lucky if she ever ''speaks'' to us again after this.
:'''Steven''': But...
:'''Blue Diamond''': The thing is, White... can be... ''difficult''.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we show up in this ship, it will be irrefutable that the last 6,000 years are now the biggest galactic embarrassment that's ever happened. And ''we're'' the ones to blame. (''to Steven'') If you don't want to be in a bubble for the next few millennia, I suggest you let ''me'' do the talking.

===''Familiar''===
:'''Steven''': Pearl!
:'''Pearl''': Steven! ''[runs over to Steven and hugs him]'' Oh, thank the stars! You're okay! What did White Diamond do? Did she hurt you?
:'''Steven''': No, she was like, &quot;Welcome home.&quot; I don't think she understands that I'm not Pink Diamond. Where's Connie? And Garnet and Amethyst?
:'''Pearl''': They're still on the ship. ''[summons a hot dog bag]'' I'm only here because I'm bringing your things. And they consider me one of your things.
:'''Steven''': Yeesh.
:''[Diamond chime plays]''
:'''Pearl''': The Diamond chime -- it's Yellow.
:''[The door opens, revealing Yellow Pearl standing right there]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond, my Diamond has requested your presence in the extraction chamber.
:'''Pearl''': Let's get you into a suit. ''[opens the bag]''
:''[Steven, wearing his yellow swimsuit, Pearl, and Yellow Pearl walk through a yellow hallway]''
:'''Steven''': Swim trunks don't seem very formal.
:'''Pearl''': Trust me, this will be more comfortable than jeans.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Please, call me Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Steven.
:'''Steven''': No, just Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Just Steven.
:'''Steven''': Call me... Lasagna.
:'''Pearl''': Steven, stop. You're going to break her. ''[opens the extraction chamber door]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Have a nice extraction, Pink Lasagna.
:''[Steven walks into the extraction chamber sauna]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink.
:'''Steven''': Hi, Yellow. Cool sauna.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It's new. Have a seat. ''[Steven uses his floating powers to jump up and takes a seat]'' So, you met with White. How was it?
:'''Steven''': All I got to say was, &quot;Hi,&quot; and, &quot;um,&quot; and, &quot;I.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Two and a half words -- that's a record.
:'''Steven''': Two and a half words isn't enough. I still need to talk to White about healing all the corrupted Gems!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. Good luck. White never leaves her own head these days, and she never lets anyone in -- except you, I guess. It's so unfair. I have hundreds of successful crystal system colonies, but you get to see her because your one colony is a failure!
:'''Steven''': Maybe you should just… ''fail?''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks momentarily shocked, then starts laughing]'' Oh, Pink, you always did have quite a knack for making me laugh. You're almost worth the trouble.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[showing up]'' Pink Diamond, my Diamond was requested your presence.
:''[Steven, Pearl, and Blue Pearl walk down a blue hallway]''
:'''Steven''': We barely talked about White at all. She had to rush to do a report, and I couldn't go with her. I get they're, like, busy, 'cause they're dictators and everything, but I need more time! ''[gasps and face-palms]'' I should have asked her what she was doing after the Citron thing!
:'''Pearl''': She'll be at that for a while. Yellow Diamond oversees all aspects of Gem production on every single one of her colonies. And when she's not doing that, she's off with her army, conquering the next one.
:'''Steven''': What about their days off, weekends?
:'''Blue Pearl''': My Diamond is awaiting our arrival.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[turns to Pearl]'' Welcome back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're here! Come in.
:'''Steven''': Okay! ''[runs and jumps into the pool, laughing]'' Whoo-hoo! (''laughing'') It's funny! I -- I live right next to the ocean, but I end up going to space to swim.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[laughs, causing the pool to shake a bit]'' You haven't changed. So silly. So small.
:'''Steven''': I'm not done growing. I'm not sure I can catch up to you and Yellow, though.
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm so glad you're back... Steven.
:'''Steven''': Y-You actually said my name!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Steven. Steee-von? (''chuckles'') It's such a funny sounding name. You're so creative, Pink.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': (''sighs'') This is so weird. Was this some sort of spa day or something? And what about Pink? Did she have a job here, or did she just sit in a room while they were off doing whatever?
:'''Pearl''': Before her colony, Pink used to throw massive balls.
:'''Steven''': ''[surprised]'' She was a juggler?!
:'''Pearl''': No -- Well, yes. But she would also throw parties for the other Diamonds to mark their many accomplishments. Every member of every court would show up to bask in the presence of all four Diamonds.
:'''Steven''': Even White would come?
:'''Pearl''': Oh, yes! Huh. I wonder what's even become of Pink's court.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ♫ Oh, I'll get them all together in one place / And once we're all together face-to-face / I'll show them all the error of their ways / And stop their spread of terror across space! ♫

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I figured it out! Remember back when I was little and maybe kind of annoying, and I couldn't come along on adventures? You guys would still drop everything to hang out with me! That's Pink Diamond! I know I can do this! Just watch -- I'm gonna throw a huge ball, and I'm gonna invite everyone!

===''Together Alone''===
:'''Pearl''': The Pebbles have been working all night. What do you think?
:'''Steven''': It almost feels like home.
:'''Garnet''': Almost.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': A ball? We haven't had a ball in 6,000 years.
:'''Blue Diamond''': We haven't had Pink in 6,000 years!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! When White Diamond shows up we can tell her why we need her help on Earth!
:'''Blue Diamond''': And, this can also mark the beginning of Era 3.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You're right, it's brilliant.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Yellow! Thank you, Blue!
:'''Blue Diamond''': If White is going to be there everything has to be perfect! Pink, can you manage this on your own? Our Pearls can help you get started.
:'''Blue Pearl''': At your service, Pink Diamond.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Make sure you go through all of our customs with Pink, since she has so much trouble recalling her past here on Homeworld.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Yes, My Diamond.
:'''Pearl''': Era 3! Steven, you're already changing the world!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! Come on, party Pearls!
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': We are at your command, Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Just call me Steven.
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': Whatever you command, Pink Diamond.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Balloons everywhere! Confetti cannons too!
:'''Amethyst''': Dibs on being the confetti cannon!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Cannons are ''forbidden'' inside palace walls. These &quot;balloons&quot; you're referring to, are unprecedented and therefore out of the question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond! Your subjects will do the dancing for you! Why would a Diamond want to dance?
:'''Steven''': Because dancing's fun!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': What is &quot;fun&quot;?
:'''Connie''': You know, it's when you do something you wanna do, just because it feels good.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': I don't think we do that here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': The Sapphire will need to enter with the other Sapphires of course, and the Ruby will need to enter with the guard.
:'''Steven''': Woah, woah, woah. Are you talking about Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Garnet? Does &quot;that&quot; call herself a Garnet? What would you have her do? Enter with the Demantoids, the Hessonites, the Pyropes? Pink, I'm being very generous, but you can't expect me to-
:'''Garnet''': I won't go.
:'''Steven''': Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': At least the Sapphire in there has some sense.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Everyone, behold! The daunting, beauty and elegance that is, Yellow Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Not a bad turnout, Pink.
:'''Steven''': I appreciate your attendance, Yellow.
:'''Blue Pearl''': Ahem, everyone prepare yourselves emotionally for the overpowering elegance that is, Blue Diamond.
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're doing great.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Blue.
:'''White Pearl''': To those in attendance of the Era 3 ball, White Diamond... has more important things to attend to.
:'''Steven''': WHAT?!
:'''White Pearl''': Therefore, I will be here to observe in her place. Welcome to Era 3.
:'''Steven''': Gra!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': (''through gritted teeth'') Pink, what are you doing?!
:'''Stevonnie''': I was just dancing! (''sees they have fused and everybody else looks in shock'')
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pink, this is completely unacceptable! Unfuse or I'll make you!
:''[Ruby and Sapphire fuse and become Garnet]''
:'''Garnet''': You'll have to go through me!
:'''Pearl''': (''gasp'') And me! (''Runs over to Amethyst and fuses into Opal'')
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah!
:''[two jades quickly fuse as well]''
:'''Lemon Jade''': And me! ''[Opal and Stevonnie look at Garnet, and she shrugs]'' I knew it! I knew I couldn't be the only one!
:''[Yellow Diamond strikes the Jade Fusion, Opal, and Garnet with her lightning powers, causing them all to poof]''
:'''Stevonnie''': Opal! Garnet!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink, you've gone too far even for you. ''[picks up Stevonnie and throws them into a dark room]'' Stay in here and think about what you've done!
:'''Stevonnie''': No, wait!
:''[Yellow Diamond closes the door, ends the episode]''

===''Escapism''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I guess I have to face, that in this awful place, I shouldn't show a trace... of doubt. / But pulled against the grain, I feel a little pain, that I would rather do... without. / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / Free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / from here. ♫

===''Change Your Mind''===
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and looks up at the prison tower window]'' Oh, right -- prison.
:''[Blue Diamond enters]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you! Making a scene like that.
:''' Steven''': We weren't trying to make a scene! We were just... ''[turns to see that Connie is not present]'' dancing?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you -- making a scene like that!
:'''Steven''': Whoa -- dejá blue.
:'''Connie''': We didn't mean any harm! I asked Steven to dance; he wasn't trying to cause trouble!
:'''Blue Diamond''': What do you know about this, human?
:'''Connie''': ''[chuckles]'' You think I've never been grounded before?
:'''Blue Diamond''': &quot;Grounded?&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': This isn't normal. How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[defensive]'' I didn't, I... and I'm doing it again... aren't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What... are you doing?
:'''Steven''': I'm taking back my friends!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[closes her eyes as she looks up from Steven to readdress Blue; annoyed]'' What are you doing, Blue? Take Pink back to the tower.
:'''Blue Diamond''': She prefers to be called &quot;Steven.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[slams her hand so forcefully against her throne that it cracks, stands up and assumes an angered stance]'' What are you talking about?! You can't keep bending the rules for her, Blue! She has to set an example, and ''we'' have to set an example! If we bend the rules for her, we have to bend them for everyone!
:'''Connie''': Well, maybe you should!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Take them back to the tower, now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I won't.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Then I'll do it myself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against &lt;big&gt;'''ME?!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You'd hurt a fellow Diamond?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Didn't we hurt Pink?! She was suffering in silence for ages -- just like our Gems -- just like me! And I know ''you're'' suffering in silence, too!
:''[Yellow Diamond claps her fist and uses her lightning power on Blue, causing her to begin to destabilize and scream]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[pulls out his shield and chucks it towards Yellow Diamond's hand, disrupting her concentration]'' You don't have to do this!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Yes, I do! This is what White Diamond expects of all of us. From a thin flake of mica to the deepest, hardest stone, we all must make sacrifices for the sake of our perfect empire.
:'''Steven''': Does ''this'' look perfect to you?! My dad says if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': And that means... what?
:'''Steven''': It means if you try and make this empire perfect -- if you just wipe away everything you see as flawed -- you lose all the things that make you happy -- like hot dogs.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Or our Pink.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Uhh... ''[falls to the ground on her knees in an uncharacteristic emotional breakdown]'' Stop. Stop it, Blue. Stop using your power on me...!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Hey, White, I know I was in there with you for a second, but I barely got to talk to you at all. There are so many Gems that are hurting right now. Even Blue and Yellow are hurting. You should hear what they have to say. ''[to Blue and Yellow; whispers]'' This is it.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[struggling]'' We... W-we... We need to talk! About us. I've conquered so many worlds for the sake of the empire. I do everything you ask, and I do it all perfectly. But your very high standards put us all under a ''lot'' of pressure. A Gem could crack under so much pressure. We Diamonds may be hard, but we're also brittle.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[steps forward]'' White, we used to be close. Don't you remember? When Pink would make us laugh -- all those silly things she did for no reason. There was a reason. She wanted us to be happy together. But we weren't, and we're still not. I know my purpose isn't to be happy, but I find it harder and harder to enforce your rules when they make me miserable. When they make us all miserable.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': Well, what do you know? It's Rainbow 2.0! Now, this is a fine mess we're in. (''gasps'') That won't do. (''blows raspberry'') Rainbow Quartz powers, activate! Ah, yes. Now that's two stones, with one bird.
:''[Steven and new reformed Pearl unfuse]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wow! Nice form, Pearl.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, ''[chuckles]'' thank you. I'm particularly excited about the jacket. Aah! Steven! We fused!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Steven''': Almost. ''[looks down at Ruby and Sapphire's gems in his hands]'' Garnet, we're up against a giant robot. We need your help. Please come out. I'm here! I love you! ''[hugs them tightly as he begins to glow and starts fusing, to form Sunstone]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunstone''': Awwwwwwwwwww yeah! You better step off! Chillax, my dudes. Your rockin' pal Sunstone is holdin' it down.
:'''Pearl''': Wow!
:'''Amethyst''': Holy...
:'''Connie''': All right!
:'''Peridot''': Unbelievable!
:'''Sunstone''': Oh, you better believe it.
:'''Peridot''': Okay!
:'''Connie''': Sunstone, what are we gonna do? White Diamond's never going to listen, and she's never going to let us leave.
:'''Sunstone''': If she won't listen, we'll ''make'' her listen.
:'''Amethyst''': And ''how'' are we gonna do that?
:'''Sunstone''': I know she's in there. We'll bust into her head and change her mind.
:'''Everyone''': Right!
:'''Sunstone''': Let's take that bully down! ''[to the viewers]'' But remember kids: if you ever have to deal with a bully, be sure to tell an adult. ''[yanks Pearl and Amethyst onto their shoulders and sprints towards the giant pink foot of the ship]'' Ally-oop! ''[summons her suction cups]'' Kids, don't try this at home. Ha! Bungacowa!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': We need to be bigger.
:'''Steven''': Then let's fuse. All four of us. It's the only way we're gonna get up to her head.
:'''Amethyst''': I'm in!
:'''Pearl''': I'm in, too.
:'''Garnet''': Then it's decided. It's time to form Obsidian.
:''[Connie, Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis back away to give some space for the Crystal Gems to perform their fusion dance; Obsidian is formed by letting out a big loud cry for battle]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[amazed]'' They're HU-U-U-U-GE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You're wrong! I'm not my mom!
:'''White Diamond''': But don't you know things about her that you couldn't possibly know?
:'''Steven''': I-I've just been connecting with her. My powers, they-they help me to connect to others. I'm not her. I'm just feeling her feelings.
:'''White Diamond''': Isn't it obvious? Even though you've embedded yourself in that human child, your light can't help shining through!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Don't listen to her Steven! She's just trying to mess with you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this?! Where is Pink?
:'''Pink Steven''': She's gone.
:'''White Diamond''': What did you say? Answer me!
:'''Pink Steven''': ''[shouting]'' She's &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-NE!!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': Agh! Don't you raise your shield at me! I only want you to be yourself! If you can't do that, I'll do it &lt;big&gt;FOR YOU!!!&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Steven! ''[rushes to Steven and hugs him]'' Are you back together? Are you you?
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Yeah! I’m me! I’ve always been me.
:'''White Diamond''': ''NO!'' You are Pink Diamond! That is Pink Diamond's gem! You do not look like this! You do not sound like this! You are not half-human! You're just... acting like a child!
:'''Steven''': I ''am'' a child. What's your excuse?
:'''White Diamond''': ''[starts blushing, and notices the Gems under her control doing the same]'' What's happening? What is this? What's wrong with them? They're turning... pink! I don't understand, I'm in control, I-- ''[gasps]'' Something's wrong! With ME! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this? I feel... ridiculous. Yellow, Blue...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[gasps]'' She's off-color...
:'''White Diamond''': This can't be happening. I can't have a flaw, I'm supposed to be flawless! If I'm not perfect then... who am I? If you're not Pink, then... who are you? Who is ''anyone?''
:'''Steven''': You know, if you just let everyone be whoever they are, maybe you could let yourself be whoever you are too.
:'''White Diamond''': But I'm not supposed to be like this! I'm supposed to know better, I'm supposed to ''be'' better, I'm supposed to make ''everything'' better!
:'''Steven''': You can. But first, you're gonna have to leave your own head.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict our long journey through space will soon be over.
:'''Lars''': Welcome home, guys.
:'''Rhodonite''': We finally made it! Earth! No more running, no more hiding! No more Diamond Authority! ''[they notice the Diamonds, who have heard everything]'' Well, we're cracked.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sadie''': Lars... Look at you! You're... you're a space pirate!
:'''Lars''': Look at you! You're a rock star!
:'''Sadie''': ''[Laughs] Well... ''[Laughs]''
:''[They both laugh in unison]''
:'''Lars''': I think it suits us!
:'''Sadie''': Yeah. Me, too!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me. / I don’t need you to love me, I love me. / But I want you to know you could know me, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / Change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind. ♫

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149162</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:57:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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      <comment>/* The Trial */</comment>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
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{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Stuck Together''===
:'''Aquamarine''': Say, Rose, how do I look?
:'''Steven''': Awful, small and mean!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Topaz''': What was I thinking?
:'''Aquamarine''': That's the problem with you fusions. Sooner or later, you will become ''sentimental.'' ''[the ship rumbles, coming to a stop and a notification pops up]'' We're here. Look, just… unfuse, and we'll never speak of this again.

===''The Trial''===
:'''Steven''': ''[speaking to himself]'' I know my mom did something really bad. Whatever Homeworld has in store for me…I'm ready!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prosecuting Zircon''': Defending a rebel? Isn't that… ''treason?'' ''[chuckles]''
:'''Defense Zircon''': I was ''assigned'' to this!
:''[Blue and Yellow Pearl warp in]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': All rise for the luminous Yellow Diamond! ''[poses]''
:'''Blue Pearl''': And the lustrous Blue Diamond. ''[bows]''
:''[Blue and Yellow Diamond warp in behind them and stare down at Steven]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[looking around]'' Where is the accused?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks down at Steven]'' Is that Rose Quartz? Look at this ''hideous'' she's taken. Forget the trial, we should shatter just for looking like that.
:'''Blue Diamond''': No. I want to hear her make her case. I want to know what she thinks we're going to do with her. Because  I want to do something ''worse''.
:''[Steven gulps nervously]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[warps in their throne chairs]'' Fine. Let's just get on with it, shall we?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I heard it straight from her. She said… &quot;I'm the mighty Rose Quartz. I've got her shield and everything.&quot; And then, she threw me into space!
:'''Steven''': I tried to help you! I healed your gem!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': And who else has the ability to ''heal'' Gems, other than the villainous Rose Quartz?!
:'''Prosecuting Zircon''': And there you have it. Rose Quartz did it and that's Rose Quartz. I rest my case.
:'''Defense Zircon''': Oh, she's good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I did it!
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wha… What, what?! Stop!
:'''Blue Diamond''': No! I want to hear what she has to say.
:''[Steven is elevated up to the Diamonds' height]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': State your name for the record, please.
:'''Steven''': I, um… I am Rose Quartz… and I'm guilty.
:'''Defense Zircon''': Wait! No, don't say that!
:'''Steven''': Everything you guys I did, I did. And I did it by myself. I'm sorry. I'll accept any punishment you want to give me. ''[points down to Lars]'' Just let him go! And leave the Earth alone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Ha! Sounds like a solid confession to me.
:'''Blue Diamond''': How? How did you do it? How did you shatter Pink Diamond?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Um, well…I did it on Earth in front of Pink Diamond's palanquin. I was probably like &quot;Stop!&quot; And she was all like, &quot;No!&quot; So we fought -- I think. And she probably did some cool moves. I probably did some cool stuff, too, some jump-kicks and stuff. But I was most likely deeply conflicted about deciding to shatter her. Definitely crying. I probably had to use the Breaking Point to do it.
:'''Blue Diamond''': It was a ''sword!'' ''[covers her eyes, crying and a blue light fills the room, making everyone except Lars tear up]'' You… shattered her… with a sword! ''[starts sobbing]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[walks up and comforts Blue]'' That's quite enough testimony from you! We shall take a short recess.
:''[Back in the Waiting Room…]''
:'''Defense Zircon''': What are you saying in there?! &quot;Maybe&quot; this, &quot;probably&quot; that! Oh, what do you mean, ''probably?!''
:'''Steven''': Look I just... I don't actually know how it happened, okay?
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't ''know?!''
:'''Steven''': I...
:'''Defense Zircon''': ''[grabs Steven by the shirt collar and picks him up]'' Don't tumble my rocks! Both our gems are on the line! Did you do this or not?!
:'''Steven''': It was me, alright! ''[Defense Zircon let's go of his shirt and drops him]'' Rose Quartz did it, and I've got her gem, so I'm the one who's got to pay for this.
:'''Defense Zircon''': You don't know how it happened. ''[Steven shakes his head]'' I get it. There's a reason they want you to explain how you did it.
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Defense Zircon''': It's because it doesn't make sense!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Defense Zircon''': Blue Diamond, for the purpose of this argument, may I present your palanquin?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': is this necessary?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Isn't it? Please, proceed. ''[waves up her hand, warping in her palanquin]''
:'''Defense Zircon''': Now, as the records show, Pink Diamond was shattered just outside a palanquin, much like this. Witnesses said, Pink had stepped out and had only taken a few steps forward when Rose attacked her from the front.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You think you can get away, Rose? You stood your ground on that little speck called Earth. But you're on ''our'' world now.

===''Off Colors''===
:'''Padparadscha''': Oh my gosh, something incredible is going to happen to Lars!

===''Lars' Head''===
:'''Steven''': But it doesn't feel right to just leave you here.
:'''Lars''': You said yourself that everyone on this planet is out to get you. You won't be safe until you're back on Earth.
:'''Steven''': But, Lars--
:'''Lars''': Don't argue with me! You're always trying to help me. You brought me back to life. Just let me be somebody who deserved it.

===''Dewey Wins''===

===''Gemcation''===

===''Raising the Barn''===

===''Back to the Kindergarten''===
:'''Peridot''': This used to make sense to me. I thought life was generated in a kindergarten. Formless, aimless energy channeled into new, useful gems. But life doesn't start in a kindergarten. It ends here. I've gotten used to plants everywhere. Bugs and breeze and sunshine...all of that has been sucked out of this place. 

===''Sadie Killer''===

===''Kevin Party''===

===''Lars of the Stars''===
:'''Emerald''': ''[on screen]'' It's over! I've got you now you miserable off-colors!
:'''Lars''': You'll ''never'' take us alive, Emerald!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lars''': You don't get it, do you, Steven? ''[starts tearing up and sniffles]'' It should be me. ''[starts crying]'' ''I'm'' the one that should be hanging out with the Cool Kids! She's getting back at me for everything I've done!
:'''Connie''': Do you really think Sadie is living her life ''just'' to get back at you?
:'''Lars''': Why else would she be having so much fun without me?!
:'''Steven''': Because life goes on, no matter what happens. She was so upset when she found out you'd be stuck in space, Lars. She really misses you, but, she can't stay sad forever. She started hanging out with the cool kids. She quit the Big Donut all because she needed to do ''something'' to feel better.
:'''Connie''': And look at you! Steven said you'd be hiding in some cave on Homeworld, but you're not! You're out here fighting for freedom with all your new friends in tow! Are ''you'' doing any of this to hurt Sadie?
:'''Lars''': No! I'm doing this because I have to. ''[tears up]'' I'd never do this to hurt Sadie because-
:'''Steven''': Because!
:'''Connie''': Because!
:'''Both''': Because you're best friends!
:''[Lars watches them fuse into Stevonnie]''
:'''Stevonnie''': And best friends wouldn't do anything to hurt each other!

===''Jungle Moon''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[squealing in excitement]'' Whoa, cool! Yellow! ''[jumps up to her chair]'' Hey, Yellow.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Oh, you're still here.
:'''Stevonnie''': What are you doing?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm commanding the dropships to colonize this planet.
:'''Stevonnie''': I wanna command a dropship!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Well, when you have your ''own'' colony, you can command whatever you want.
:'''Stevonnie''': I want a colony! ''[Yellow Diamond presses buttons on the panel with four diamonds]'' I want one now! ''[screen unlocks revealing a dropship on the panel]'' What's this?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm contacting the leader of the fleet.
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[amazed]'' Let me do it! ''[starts pressing buttons on the screen but Yellow Diamond grabs her arm]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' DON'T TOUCH THAT!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[irritated]'' Why ''not''? You have so many worlds and I don't even have ''one''! It's not fair! I want ONE! I want my own ''army''! I want my own ''planet''! I deserve it! I'm just as important as ''YOU''!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[angrily]'' Then why don't you act like it, Pink?!
:''[Stevonnie walks away, holding their arm, angry; approach a window and their fist clenches; Pink Diamond is seen through their reflection and the hand punches the glass smashing it; She suddenly wakes up from the dream, falling out of the hammock on the ground]''
:'''Stevonnie''': (''talking through Connie'') Whoa! ''[breathing hard]'' Steven, what was that? (''talking through Steven'') Diamonds. I'm having Diamond dreams again. But, why now? Why ''here''? ''[looks up and see a mural of Yellow Diamond]'' No way.

===''Your Mother and Mine''===
:'''Garnet''': Come on, everyone. Let me tell you the story of the ''real'' Rose Quartz. ''[Flashback story begins; narrating]'' It was Era 1. The Diamonds, unique in their flawlessness, sought to expand their perfection across the galaxy. And it was for this purpose that Pink Diamond chose her first colony-- the planet Earth. On Earth, every Gem was made to serve Pink Diamond, each with a role to play in her world's perfect empire. In comparison to their creator, their existence was ordinary. They were life-forms only meant to fit their mold, and no one had ever dared to think otherwise. Until, there was Rose Quartz. In stature, she was no different than any other Quartz. And for a time, she did her best to carry out her Diamond's bidding. However, she began to take notice of her strange colony and the life that existed there. Curiosity turned to appreciation. Appreciation turned to fondness. And fondness… turned to love. Soon she was unable to keep her findings secret, and she began asking her fellow Gems if they knew of the life on Earth and what they made of it. She continued to pry her fellow Kindergartners with questions ''so'' odd, that word of her eventually made its way to Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz was summoned at once.
:'''Pink Diamond''': Quartz, what have you been saying down there?
:'''Rose''': My Diamond, it has come to my attention that your colony, Earth, bears life. While I know these organic life-forms serve no purpose, I ask that we leave this planet and spare their lives.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Pink Diamond thought for a moment, and then laughed, a wicked, empty sound.
:'''Pink Diamond''': ''[laughing]'' You wish to save these life-forms at the expense of our own? Ha! Don't be absurd. Return to your post, and I will forget your insolence.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' And with that, Rose Quartz was dragged back to her kindergarten for duty. ''[A gem drags Rose away and she continues working]'' Only Rose could no longer stand to continue aiding in the destruction of Earth. She had no choice. She had to fight.
:'''Rose''': ''[stops working and jumps into the air, changing her uniform into a dress before destroying an injector, stands on the broken injector and speaks to the other Quartzes]'' Is this what you want -- to inject, to build?! I've seen the life that exists for itself, and it lives here! Will you destroy it, or will you join it?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Rose's message began to resonate to Pink Diamond's dismay. Her colony was falling apart. So, like a coward, she called for her Diamond allies, Yellow and Blue, to help. But Rose also found herself with allies, other Gems that were cast out for being wrong-- a Pearl who belonged to no one… a Bismuth who built weapons for rebels instead of towers for tyrants… An entirely new fusion, for not power, but for love… And countless others, all inspired by Rose to live for ourselves on Earth. She was our leader. And Earth was our precious home. And those who fought to save it became known as…the Crystal Gems!
:'''Rhodonite''': Unbelievable!
:'''Rutile Twins''': There were Gems like us?
:'''Padparadscha''': Fighting.
:'''Fluorite''': For… their… freedom?
:'''Garnet''': Yes, and we were fearless! ''[Flashback resumes; narrating]'' It was an impossible fight, but we fought anyway. And the more Gems who saw us, the more who joined. But Pink Diamond's forces proved too strong. Rose feared that soon she would have nothing left to protect. Rose Quartz drew her rebel blade… and shattered Pink Diamond, saving the Earth for all time from her reign of terror.
:'''Rutile Twins''': Wow! That's incredible! I don't believe it!
:'''Lars''': ''[to Steven]'' Your mom did all that? That's awesome!
:'''Rhodonite''': Wait. What about the rest? What happened after that?
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The other Diamonds were furious. In a last-ditch attempt to wipe out the Rebellion, the Diamonds launched a direct attack against Earth. And in their fury, they used their powers to end the fighting once and for all.
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict this story won't have a happy ending.
:'''Rutile Twins''': We were all told different stories. But they all ended the same way.
:'''Fluorite''': With Rose Quartz… being… defeated.
:'''Rhodonite''': This new version of the story is even worse! So, she was great, and they beat her? What are we supposed to get out of this -- that we can never win?!
:'''Garnet''': We haven't yet, but we can, and we will. They said they annihilated Rose's rebellion, but here ''we'' are. They said they annihilated all of you on Homeworld, but here ''you'' are! They think they have us on the run, but they're the ones that are running from the truth. And the truth is we... are... everywhere!
:'''Rhodonite''': But how many more of us can there be?
:'''Steven''': Way more than you think! I was only on Homeworld for, like, an hour before I ran in to you guys. There must be Off Colors all over the place.
:'''Garnet''': Rose used to say there was something about Earth -- something that set Gems free. But it's not just Earth. Look at you. Love, freedom -- it's universal. You all prove it every moment you live as yourselves. You can show everyone.
:'''Fluorite''': We… can do that?
:'''Lars''': Not while we're floating out here like sitting ducks.

===''The Big Show''===

===''Pool Hopping''===
:'''Garnet''': I think I get it.
:'''Steven''': Hm?
:'''Garnet''': Why my future vision has been so off. I have to change the way I think about you. 
:'''Steven''': What?
:'''Garnet''': I've been looking into probable futures where you act like a child. I keep expecting you to run from responsibility and to turn to me for help, but you don't do that anymore. Those futures aren't probable at all. There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision. I just need to factor in that you've grown up.

===''Letters to Lars''===

===''Can't Go Back''===
:'''Blue Diamond''': But this is what you wanted.
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and gasps; turns to see Lapis is nowhere to be seen]'' Lapis? ''[faces forward, seeing the silhouettes of Blue, Yellow, and Pink Diamond]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': You begged us for a colony of your own, and now all you want to do is be rid of it. First there were too many organics. Then their cities were too difficult to dismantle, and -- and now these Crystal Gems. We're tired of your excuses, Pink.
:'''Steven''': The Diamonds.
:'''Blue Diamond''': This Rose Quartz can't hurt you. You can't be swayed by a few unruly Gems. ''[Holds her hand up in front of Pink Diamond as she's about to speak]'' Enough! You must understand, you are a Diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you. You don't even have to do anything. Just smile and wave. Show everyone you're unfazed by this little uprising. Your Gems will fall into line, and these Crystal Gems will be no more. As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Lapis flies away, Steven looks at the mural of Pink Diamond and turns to Lion]''
:'''Steven''': Lion, I need you to take me to Pearl.

===''A Single Pale Rose''===
:'''Steven''': It better not turn out that her phone was in her pocket...or she left it on the dresser or dropped it in the toilet. Seems about as likely as putting it away in your repressed war memories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Steven returns from Pearl's gem after learning the truth about how Rose Quartz &quot;shattered&quot; Pink Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': I know.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[tearing up]'' I wanted to tell you for ''so'' long.
:'''Steven''': Mom was Pink Diamond.
:''[Garnet and Amethyst stand in shock behind Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?'''&lt;/big&gt;

===''Now We're Only Falling Apart''===
:'''Amethyst''': Let me get this straight. Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gems, Steven's mom, was actually Pink Diamond?!
:'''Steven''': She faked her own shattering, and reformed to be Rose all the time.
:'''Pearl''': Pink Diamond's final command to me was that no one could know, but now that Steven does, I can finally tell you all everything!
:'''Amethyst''': Phew! I mean, a pink lion, a pink sword, and now Pink Diamond?! Huh, if you told me Rose invented cotton candy, I'd believe it. Right, Garnet? Uh, Garnet?
:'''Garnet''': ''[shaking and gets up]'' Rose. She... she... ''[struggles to stay stable and defuses into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': ''[betrayed and heartbroken with anger]'' '''SHE LIED TO US!''' She lied about EVERYTHING! ''[freezes up the floor]'' She held our hands, looked us right in the eyes, and told us to never question who we are as Garnet. We never questioned ourselves, or her!
:'''Ruby''': We couldn't have known!
:'''Sapphire''': No, you couldn't have known. You never know what's going on. That's what I'm for!
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire...
:'''Sapphire''': But I never looked into her, I trusted her. I let her make fools of us all! ''[storms over to the warp pad]''
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire, wait!
:'''Steven''': Guys! ''[slips on the ice]''
:'''Ruby''': Please…We can just stay calm and talk about this, right? Let's just, talk.
:'''Sapphire''': Talk about what? How our relationship is based on a lie? What else is there to say? ''[warps away to Rose's Fountain]''
:'''Pearl''': Ruby, I am so sorry.
:'''Steven''': Come on, Pearl. Help me explain everything to Sapphire.
:'''Pearl''': Right.
:'''Steven''': Sit tight, Ruby. We'll go and get Sapphire.
:'''Ruby''': Okay. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sapphire''': ''[grieving]'' Everything we were running from, she was right there all along…using us for her little war…smiling at us with those knowing eyes… Making me believe in a better future that I couldn't see, because it wasn't real. And now here we are, our friends, shattered, and corrupted…of course she was a Diamond. What a long road she took to torture us all like this.
:'''Steven''': It wasn't like that. You know she didn't want anyone to get hurt.
:'''Sapphire''': I don't know that! I clearly don't know anything.
:'''Pearl''': You deserve to know everything. I was given to Pink Diamond just a few thousand years before she was given the Earth. I was supposed to make her happy, I just never could.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Is everything alright, my Diamond? You seem troubled.
:'''Rose''': All this life that's been growing wild here on Earth…none of it will survive my invasion. We're not creating life from nothing. We're ''taking'' life, and leaving nothing behind.
:'''Pearl''': Forgive me, my Diamond. I shouldn't have brought you to such a place.
:'''Rose''': No. I needed to see this.
:''[scene shifts back to the fountain]''
:'''Steven''': So she ''did'' want to protect Earth. She didn't realize what the colony was doing to the planet.
:'''Sapphire''': So what?! She suddenly started to care about Earth? Why did she have to rope us into all this? Why couldn't she just stop the colonization herself?
:'''Pearl''': She ''tried''. When she told the other Diamonds she didn't want to go through with the colony, they told her to finish what she started. When she told the other Diamonds she wanted to preserve life on Earth, they created the zoo and threw a handful of humans in. She did everything she could as Pink Diamond. But her status meant nothing to Blue and Yellow. So she decided to make a stand, as someone they couldn't ignore. She was going to scare every Gem off the planet. But everything changed when she saw…your fusion.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Before Garnet, Rose was only fighting for Earth. But Garnet changed everything. Rose wanted to fight for her, she wanted to fight for Gems! And maybe she was foolish, and maybe even...selfish, but she was-
:'''Sapphire''': Following us.
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Sapphire''': This whole time, we thought we were following her, but she was following ''us''. How could she not after you swept her off her feet?

===''What's your Problem''===

===''The Question''===

===''Made of Honor''===
:'''Steven''': So, my Dad will finish playing the music, and then next you'll do the &quot;I do's.&quot; And then I'll say… &quot;I now pronounce you Garnet.&quot; And then you fuse! Everyone will cheer!
:'''Sapphire''': Everyone… who survived.
:'''Ruby''': Huh?
:'''Sapphire''': Oh, it's just… There's so many old friends who won't be able to come. All the Crystal Gems who were corrupted and bubbled in the basement.
:'''Ruby''': Maybe we could bring the bubbles up here?
:'''Sapphire''': No, no. It's not safe. We can't risk them getting out.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Hey everyone. Did you guys &quot;Bismi-th&quot; me?
:''[Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby and Amethyst drop their sodas simultaneously]''
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I win! Also, less importantly, who are you?
:'''Steven''': I… invited Bismuth! I hope that's cool.
:'''Sapphire''': ''[slowly walks up to her]'' Bismuth. ''[hugs her]''
:'''Bismuth''': Whoa, Sapphire!
:'''Pearl and Ruby''': Bismuth! ''[tackle her to the floor, and begin nuzzling her]''
:'''Sapphire''': You wouldn't believe what we've all been through. I'm so sorry! We should've-
:'''Bismuth''': Look, I'm right there with you, Steven filled me in.
:'''Peridot''': So, is anyone going to introduce me?
:'''Amethyst''': Let's give 'em some space.

===''Reunited''===
:'''Steven''': Dearly beloved Gems, humans, lions big and small, living gourds, Onion, we are gathered here today to celebrate Ruby and Sapphire, two of my favorite people, who combine into one of my other favorite people! You all probably know her as Garnet. She's their love, given form. Now it's your turn to talk about that.
:'''Ruby''': I know this is all kind of silly, I mean, we've been together for 5,750 years.
:'''Sapphire''': And 8 months.
:'''Ruby''': I used to feel like I wasn't much good, just one of me on my own. But when we're together, it feels like it's okay to just be me. So I wanna be me, with you, an-and, not even the Diamonds will come between us. And if they try, we'll beat em up!
:'''Sapphire''': Ruby, my future used to look like one single, obvious stream, unbending 'til the end of time. In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures, streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will. ''[beat]'' What I mean is, you changed my life. And then, I changed your life. And now, we changed our lives.
:'''Steven''': Bismuth, the rings.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[gently bumps Bismuth]'' Hey, Bismuth, that's your cue.
:''[Bismuth, touched and crying by the vows, approaches them with the rings]''
:'''Steven''': Ruby, do you take this Gem to have and to hold, on this and every other planet in the universe!?
:'''Ruby''': I DO!
:'''Steven''': And Sapphire, do you-
:'''Sapphire''': Yes.
:'''Steven''': ''[whispering]'' You didn't let me finish.
:'''Sapphire''': I'm just very excited.
:'''Steven''': Then by the power vested in me by the state of Delmarva, I now pronounce you… Garnet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': What a wonderful idea. Humans found a way to make a moment's decision last forever. I won't need future vision to know I'll always remember this.
:'''Steven''': I'm so glad. ''[starts tearing up]''
:'''Garnet''': Oh no. I'm sorry. Don't cry.
:'''Steven''': ''[wipes off the tears]'' I guess seeing everyone together got me really choked up. ''[bigger tears begin flowing out of his eyes]'' Wait a second. You don't think…?
:'''Garnet''': ''[takes off her visor, opening her third eye]'' Blue Diamond!
:'''Steven''': She's here?!
:'''Garnet''': And she's not alone.
:''[The sky darkens quickly and everyone looks up to the sky, seeing Blue and Yellow Diamond's ships approaching]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, no. It's the Diamonds! ''[runs up to Nanefua]'' Nanefua, get on your Nane-phone! We've got a code blue ''and'' a code yellow!
:'''Garnet''': This is it.
:''[As the Diamond ships approach the beach, they fly overhead them]''
:'''Peridot''': WE'RE OVER HERE, YOU CLODS!
:'''Pearl''': Wha- where are they going?!
:'''Steven''': If they're not here for us, they must be here for the Cluster!
:'''Bismuth''': What's the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': It's a huge earth-destroying geo-weapon that the Diamonds made out of a bajillion gem shards!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[approaching Blue Diamond]'' Blue Diamond, please listen to me! I didn't shatter Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond's right here. It's pretty interesting when you think about it--
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''ENOUGH!'' ''[hurls an energy blast at Steven, knocking him back, only for Alexandrite to catch him]''
:'''Steven''': Wait!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You cannot fathom how much I've mourned, what thousands of years of grief has done to me! ''[unleashes her aura, de-fusing Alexandrite, making everyone (except Connie), fall on their knees and tear up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I know this sword… This is the sword that '''SHATTERED HER!''' ''[angrily shatters the sword as Steven gasps, which made Connie fall down only to be caught by Lion]'' You deserve this-- ''all'' of you!
:'''Steven''': Stop, please!
:'''Amethyst''': Steven…
:'''Pearl''': What do we do?
:'''Steven''': I don't know. She won't listen, she just wants to fight!
:'''Garnet''': Blue Diamond!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Who are you supposed to be?
:'''Garnet''': I am the will of two Gems to care for each other, to protect each other from any threat, no matter how vast or how cruel. You couldn't stop me 5,750 years ago, and you can't stop me now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you, that Ruby and Sapphire that disrupted my court.
:'''Garnet''': This is supposed to be MY day!
:'''Blue Diamond''': You hope to defeat me by clinging to my feet?
:'''Garnet''': I just needed to keep you from taking three steps to the right.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': With all our strength together, we can take her down!
:'''Steven''': That's right! This is our home, our planet, our friends and family! We are the Crystal Gems!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pathetic! You are &lt;big&gt;'''NOTHING!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Ha! I told her off, once. I can do it again. ''[jumps off Bismuth's hands and runs up to Yellow Diamond]'' Hey! Yellow Clod! '''''REMEMBER ME?!'''''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': No. ''[zaps and poofs Peridot to her gemstone]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[jumps off Garnet's hands and runs up to the Diamonds]'' Don't do this! Listen to me, ''I'm'' the one you're missing! I'm Pink Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[shocked and angry]'' '''''You!''''' ''[charges towards Steven as he summons his shield]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:''[Yellow Diamond stomps her foot on Steven in fury, knocking him out unconsciously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lapis Lazuli''': What else have you got?! I've only just begun to fight! ''[gets zapped and poofed to her gemstone by Yellow Diamond]''
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked gasp]'' Lapis!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''How miserable. I knew Pink couldn't handle her own colony. But, I gave in. And now, I'm to blame for her fate.''
:'''Steven''': Ah, her thoughts are too strong!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''What good will any of this do? The more I make these Gems suffer, the more I long to see you again, Pink.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': This feeling, I know it!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It must be a trick! Show yourself, foe!
:'''Steven''': I'm not your foe. Please, just listen to me!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': There!
:'''Steven''': ''Please, the fighting has to stop. We aren't enemies. We're family. Please listen to me. I need you to know who I am!!!''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Impossible.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': This aura...
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's you! Pink!

===''Legs From Here to Homeworld''===
:'''Garnet''': We can't just hand Steven over to Blue Diamond, she's a shatterer!
:'''Bismuth''': She's not gonna hurt him, look at her. She really thinks he's one of them.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sobbing loudly]'' Somebody make Blue Diamond stop!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Pearl''': It's just… ''[sniffles]'' Blue Diamond's power. She's obviously relieved that Pink Diamond wasn't shattered after all.
:''[Yellow Diamond tries to reactive her ship but fails]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. How could you do this to us, Pink? Why did you let us think you were shattered? Why the strange disguise? Why are you doing a voice? Why didn't you say something at the trial?! And Blue, could you please stop crying? I can't see. ''[wipes her tears, splashing the Gems]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Sorry. ''[sets Steven down]''
:'''Steven''': My mom kept it secret from everyone.
:'''Pearl''': Ahem.
:'''Steven''': Almost everyone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': Well, apparently, Mom… Oh, geez. You don't know what a mom is. Okay, Pink Diamond took the form of Rose Quartz permanently after faking her shattering. Then, Rose Quartz gave up ''that'' form to create a new life with my dad-- me. Rose passed her gemstone and some of her powers onto me, but that's all. I-I don't have any of Pink ''or'' Rose's memories. I'm sorry.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. I'm sure your memories are in there somewhere, Pink.
:'''Steven''': Actually, I go by &quot;Steven.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': We can only do so much, if it was the ''four'' of us.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Oh, no. We can't let ''her'' see this!
:'''Steven''': Who? Who do we need?!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What do you mean, &quot;who?&quot; White.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' White Diamond?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While traveling to Homeworld]''
:'''Steven''': Should I have brought a gift for White Diamond? We ''are'' dropping in unexpectedly, and… I want to make a good first impression. Her help will mean everything for the Corrupted Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Steven...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmph. &quot;Good impression&quot;? We'll be lucky if she ever ''speaks'' to us again after this.
:'''Steven''': But...
:'''Blue Diamond''': The thing is, White... can be... ''difficult''.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we show up in this ship, it will be irrefutable that the last 6,000 years are now the biggest galactic embarrassment that's ever happened. And ''we're'' the ones to blame. (''to Steven'') If you don't want to be in a bubble for the next few millennia, I suggest you let ''me'' do the talking.

===''Familiar''===
:'''Steven''': Pearl!
:'''Pearl''': Steven! ''[runs over to Steven and hugs him]'' Oh, thank the stars! You're okay! What did White Diamond do? Did she hurt you?
:'''Steven''': No, she was like, &quot;Welcome home.&quot; I don't think she understands that I'm not Pink Diamond. Where's Connie? And Garnet and Amethyst?
:'''Pearl''': They're still on the ship. ''[summons a hot dog bag]'' I'm only here because I'm bringing your things. And they consider me one of your things.
:'''Steven''': Yeesh.
:''[Diamond chime plays]''
:'''Pearl''': The Diamond chime -- it's Yellow.
:''[The door opens, revealing Yellow Pearl standing right there]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond, my Diamond has requested your presence in the extraction chamber.
:'''Pearl''': Let's get you into a suit. ''[opens the bag]''
:''[Steven, wearing his yellow swimsuit, Pearl, and Yellow Pearl walk through a yellow hallway]''
:'''Steven''': Swim trunks don't seem very formal.
:'''Pearl''': Trust me, this will be more comfortable than jeans.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Please, call me Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Steven.
:'''Steven''': No, just Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Just Steven.
:'''Steven''': Call me... Lasagna.
:'''Pearl''': Steven, stop. You're going to break her. ''[opens the extraction chamber door]''
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Have a nice extraction, Pink Lasagna.
:''[Steven walks into the extraction chamber sauna]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink.
:'''Steven''': Hi, Yellow. Cool sauna.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It's new. Have a seat. ''[Steven uses his floating powers to jump up and takes a seat]'' So, you met with White. How was it?
:'''Steven''': All I got to say was, &quot;Hi,&quot; and, &quot;um,&quot; and, &quot;I.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Two and a half words -- that's a record.
:'''Steven''': Two and a half words isn't enough. I still need to talk to White about healing all the corrupted Gems!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Hmm. Good luck. White never leaves her own head these days, and she never lets anyone in -- except you, I guess. It's so unfair. I have hundreds of successful crystal system colonies, but you get to see her because your one colony is a failure!
:'''Steven''': Maybe you should just… ''fail?''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[looks momentarily shocked, then starts laughing]'' Oh, Pink, you always did have quite a knack for making me laugh. You're almost worth the trouble.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[showing up]'' Pink Diamond, my Diamond was requested your presence.
:''[Steven, Pearl, and Blue Pearl walk down a blue hallway]''
:'''Steven''': We barely talked about White at all. She had to rush to do a report, and I couldn't go with her. I get they're, like, busy, 'cause they're dictators and everything, but I need more time! ''[gasps and face-palms]'' I should have asked her what she was doing after the Citron thing!
:'''Pearl''': She'll be at that for a while. Yellow Diamond oversees all aspects of Gem production on every single one of her colonies. And when she's not doing that, she's off with her army, conquering the next one.
:'''Steven''': What about their days off, weekends?
:'''Blue Pearl''': My Diamond is awaiting our arrival.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Pearl''': ''[turns to Pearl]'' Welcome back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're here! Come in.
:'''Steven''': Okay! ''[runs and jumps into the pool, laughing]'' Whoo-hoo! (''laughing'') It's funny! I -- I live right next to the ocean, but I end up going to space to swim.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[laughs, causing the pool to shake a bit]'' You haven't changed. So silly. So small.
:'''Steven''': I'm not done growing. I'm not sure I can catch up to you and Yellow, though.
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm so glad you're back... Steven.
:'''Steven''': Y-You actually said my name!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Steven. Steee-von? (''chuckles'') It's such a funny sounding name. You're so creative, Pink.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': (''sighs'') This is so weird. Was this some sort of spa day or something? And what about Pink? Did she have a job here, or did she just sit in a room while they were off doing whatever?
:'''Pearl''': Before her colony, Pink used to throw massive balls.
:'''Steven''': ''[surprised]'' She was a juggler?!
:'''Pearl''': No -- Well, yes. But she would also throw parties for the other Diamonds to mark their many accomplishments. Every member of every court would show up to bask in the presence of all four Diamonds.
:'''Steven''': Even White would come?
:'''Pearl''': Oh, yes! Huh. I wonder what's even become of Pink's court.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ♫ Oh, I'll get them all together in one place / And once we're all together face-to-face / I'll show them all the error of their ways / And stop their spread of terror across space! ♫

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I figured it out! Remember back when I was little and maybe kind of annoying, and I couldn't come along on adventures? You guys would still drop everything to hang out with me! That's Pink Diamond! I know I can do this! Just watch -- I'm gonna throw a huge ball, and I'm gonna invite everyone!

===''Together Alone''===
:'''Pearl''': The Pebbles have been working all night. What do you think?
:'''Steven''': It almost feels like home.
:'''Garnet''': Almost.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': A ball? We haven't had a ball in 6,000 years.
:'''Blue Diamond''': We haven't had Pink in 6,000 years!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! When White Diamond shows up we can tell her why we need her help on Earth!
:'''Blue Diamond''': And, this can also mark the beginning of Era 3.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You're right, it's brilliant.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Yellow! Thank you, Blue!
:'''Blue Diamond''': If White is going to be there everything has to be perfect! Pink, can you manage this on your own? Our Pearls can help you get started.
:'''Blue Pearl''': At your service, Pink Diamond.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Make sure you go through all of our customs with Pink, since she has so much trouble recalling her past here on Homeworld.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Yes, My Diamond.
:'''Pearl''': Era 3! Steven, you're already changing the world!
:'''Steven''': Yeah! Come on, party Pearls!
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': We are at your command, Pink Diamond.
:'''Steven''': Just call me Steven.
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': Whatever you command, Pink Diamond.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Balloons everywhere! Confetti cannons too!
:'''Amethyst''': Dibs on being the confetti cannon!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Cannons are ''forbidden'' inside palace walls. These &quot;balloons&quot; you're referring to, are unprecedented and therefore out of the question.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Pink Diamond! Your subjects will do the dancing for you! Why would a Diamond want to dance?
:'''Steven''': Because dancing's fun!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': What is &quot;fun&quot;?
:'''Connie''': You know, it's when you do something you wanna do, just because it feels good.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': I don't think we do that here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': The Sapphire will need to enter with the other Sapphires of course, and the Ruby will need to enter with the guard.
:'''Steven''': Woah, woah, woah. Are you talking about Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Garnet? Does &quot;that&quot; call herself a Garnet? What would you have her do? Enter with the Demantoids, the Hessonites, the Pyropes? Pink, I'm being very generous, but you can't expect me to-
:'''Garnet''': I won't go.
:'''Steven''': Garnet?
:'''Blue Diamond''': At least the Sapphire in there has some sense.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Everyone, behold! The daunting, beauty and elegance that is, Yellow Diamond!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Not a bad turnout, Pink.
:'''Steven''': I appreciate your attendance, Yellow.
:'''Blue Pearl''': Ahem, everyone prepare yourselves emotionally for the overpowering elegance that is, Blue Diamond.
:'''Blue Diamond''': You're doing great.
:'''Steven''': Thank you, Blue.
:'''White Pearl''': To those in attendance of the Era 3 ball, White Diamond... has more important things to attend to.
:'''Steven''': WHAT?!
:'''White Pearl''': Therefore, I will be here to observe in her place. Welcome to Era 3.
:'''Steven''': Gra!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': (''through gritted teeth'') Pink, what are you doing?!
:'''Stevonnie''': I was just dancing! (''sees they have fused and everybody else looks in shock'')
:'''Blue Diamond''': Pink, this is completely unacceptable! Unfuse or I'll make you!
:''[Ruby and Sapphire fuse and become Garnet]''
:'''Garnet''': You'll have to go through me!
:'''Pearl''': (''gasp'') And me! (''Runs over to Amethyst and fuses into Opal'')
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah!
:''[two jades quickly fuse as well]''
:'''Lemon Jade''': And me! ''[Opal and Stevonnie look at Garnet, and she shrugs]'' I knew it! I knew I couldn't be the only one!
:''[Yellow Diamond strikes the Jade Fusion, Opal, and Garnet with her lightning powers, causing them all to poof]''
:'''Stevonnie''': Opal! Garnet!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pink, you've gone too far even for you. ''[picks up Stevonnie and throws them into a dark room]'' Stay in here and think about what you've done!
:'''Stevonnie''': No, wait!
:''[Yellow Diamond closes the door, ends the episode]''

===''Escapism''===
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I guess I have to face, that in this awful place, I shouldn't show a trace... of doubt. / But pulled against the grain, I feel a little pain, that I would rather do... without. / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / Free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... / from here. ♫

===''Change Your Mind''===
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up and looks up at the prison tower window]'' Oh, right -- prison.
:''[Blue Diamond enters]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you! Making a scene like that.
:''' Steven''': We weren't trying to make a scene! We were just... ''[turns to see that Connie is not present]'' dancing?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Blue Diamond''': I cannot believe you -- making a scene like that!
:'''Steven''': Whoa -- dejá blue.
:'''Connie''': We didn't mean any harm! I asked Steven to dance; he wasn't trying to cause trouble!
:'''Blue Diamond''': What do you know about this, human?
:'''Connie''': ''[chuckles]'' You think I've never been grounded before?
:'''Blue Diamond''': &quot;Grounded?&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': This isn't normal. How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[defensive]'' I didn't, I... and I'm doing it again... aren't I?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What... are you doing?
:'''Steven''': I'm taking back my friends!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[closes her eyes as she looks up from Steven to readdress Blue; annoyed]'' What are you doing, Blue? Take Pink back to the tower.
:'''Blue Diamond''': She prefers to be called &quot;Steven.&quot;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[slams her hand so forcefully against her throne that it cracks, stands up and assumes an angered stance]'' What are you talking about?! You can't keep bending the rules for her, Blue! She has to set an example, and ''we'' have to set an example! If we bend the rules for her, we have to bend them for everyone!
:'''Connie''': Well, maybe you should!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Take them back to the tower, now!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I won't.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Then I'll do it myself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against &lt;big&gt;'''ME?!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You'd hurt a fellow Diamond?!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Didn't we hurt Pink?! She was suffering in silence for ages -- just like our Gems -- just like me! And I know ''you're'' suffering in silence, too!
:''[Yellow Diamond claps her fist and uses her lightning power on Blue, causing her to begin to destabilize and scream]''
:'''Steven''': Stop! ''[pulls out his shield and chucks it towards Yellow Diamond's hand, disrupting her concentration]'' You don't have to do this!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Yes, I do! This is what White Diamond expects of all of us. From a thin flake of mica to the deepest, hardest stone, we all must make sacrifices for the sake of our perfect empire.
:'''Steven''': Does ''this'' look perfect to you?! My dad says if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': And that means... what?
:'''Steven''': It means if you try and make this empire perfect -- if you just wipe away everything you see as flawed -- you lose all the things that make you happy -- like hot dogs.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Or our Pink.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Uhh... ''[falls to the ground on her knees in an uncharacteristic emotional breakdown]'' Stop. Stop it, Blue. Stop using your power on me...!
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Hey, White, I know I was in there with you for a second, but I barely got to talk to you at all. There are so many Gems that are hurting right now. Even Blue and Yellow are hurting. You should hear what they have to say. ''[to Blue and Yellow; whispers]'' This is it.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[struggling]'' We... W-we... We need to talk! About us. I've conquered so many worlds for the sake of the empire. I do everything you ask, and I do it all perfectly. But your very high standards put us all under a ''lot'' of pressure. A Gem could crack under so much pressure. We Diamonds may be hard, but we're also brittle.
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[steps forward]'' White, we used to be close. Don't you remember? When Pink would make us laugh -- all those silly things she did for no reason. There was a reason. She wanted us to be happy together. But we weren't, and we're still not. I know my purpose isn't to be happy, but I find it harder and harder to enforce your rules when they make me miserable. When they make us all miserable.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': Well, what do you know? It's Rainbow 2.0! Now, this is a fine mess we're in. (''gasps'') That won't do. (''blows raspberry'') Rainbow Quartz powers, activate! Ah, yes. Now that's two stones, with one bird.
:''[Steven and new reformed Pearl unfuse]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wow! Nice form, Pearl.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, ''[chuckles]'' thank you. I'm particularly excited about the jacket. Aah! Steven! We fused!
:'''Connie''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Steven''': Almost. ''[looks down at Ruby and Sapphire's gems in his hands]'' Garnet, we're up against a giant robot. We need your help. Please come out. I'm here! I love you! ''[hugs them tightly as he begins to glow and starts fusing, to form Sunstone]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sunstone''': Awwwwwwwwwww yeah! You better step off! Chillax, my dudes. Your rockin' pal Sunstone is holdin' it down.
:'''Pearl''': Wow!
:'''Amethyst''': Holy...
:'''Connie''': All right!
:'''Peridot''': Unbelievable!
:'''Sunstone''': Oh, you better believe it.
:'''Peridot''': Okay!
:'''Connie''': Sunstone, what are we gonna do? White Diamond's never going to listen, and she's never going to let us leave.
:'''Sunstone''': If she won't listen, we'll ''make'' her listen.
:'''Amethyst''': And ''how'' are we gonna do that?
:'''Sunstone''': I know she's in there. We'll bust into her head and change her mind.
:'''Everyone''': Right!
:'''Sunstone''': Let's take that bully down! ''[to the viewers]'' But remember kids: if you ever have to deal with a bully, be sure to tell an adult. ''[yanks Pearl and Amethyst onto their shoulders and sprints towards the giant pink foot of the ship]'' Ally-oop! ''[summons her suction cups]'' Kids, don't try this at home. Ha! Bungacowa!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': We need to be bigger.
:'''Steven''': Then let's fuse. All four of us. It's the only way we're gonna get up to her head.
:'''Amethyst''': I'm in!
:'''Pearl''': I'm in, too.
:'''Garnet''': Then it's decided. It's time to form Obsidian.
:''[Connie, Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis back away to give some space for the Crystal Gems to perform their fusion dance; Obsidian is formed by letting out a big loud cry for battle]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[amazed]'' They're HU-U-U-U-GE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You're wrong! I'm not my mom!
:'''White Diamond''': But don't you know things about her that you couldn't possibly know?
:'''Steven''': I-I've just been connecting with her. My powers, they-they help me to connect to others. I'm not her. I'm just feeling her feelings.
:'''White Diamond''': Isn't it obvious? Even though you've embedded yourself in that human child, your light can't help shining through!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Don't listen to her Steven! She's just trying to mess with you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this?! Where is Pink?
:'''Pink Steven''': She's gone.
:'''White Diamond''': What did you say? Answer me!
:'''Pink Steven''': ''[shouting]'' She's &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-NE!!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': Agh! Don't you raise your shield at me! I only want you to be yourself! If you can't do that, I'll do it &lt;big&gt;FOR YOU!!!&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Steven! ''[rushes to Steven and hugs him]'' Are you back together? Are you you?
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Yeah! I’m me! I’ve always been me.
:'''White Diamond''': ''NO!'' You are Pink Diamond! That is Pink Diamond's gem! You do not look like this! You do not sound like this! You are not half-human! You're just... acting like a child!
:'''Steven''': I ''am'' a child. What's your excuse?
:'''White Diamond''': ''[starts blushing, and notices the Gems under her control doing the same]'' What's happening? What is this? What's wrong with them? They're turning... pink! I don't understand, I'm in control, I-- ''[gasps]'' Something's wrong! With ME! No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''White Diamond''': What is this? I feel... ridiculous. Yellow, Blue...
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[gasps]'' She's off-color...
:'''White Diamond''': This can't be happening. I can't have a flaw, I'm supposed to be flawless! If I'm not perfect then... who am I? If you're not Pink, then... who are you? Who is ''anyone?''
:'''Steven''': You know, if you just let everyone be whoever they are, maybe you could let yourself be whoever you are too.
:'''White Diamond''': But I'm not supposed to be like this! I'm supposed to know better, I'm supposed to ''be'' better, I'm supposed to make ''everything'' better!
:'''Steven''': You can. But first, you're gonna have to leave your own head.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Padparadscha''': I predict our long journey through space will soon be over.
:'''Lars''': Welcome home, guys.
:'''Rhodonite''': We finally made it! Earth! No more running, no more hiding! No more Diamond Authority! ''[they notice the Diamonds, who have heard everything]'' Well, we're cracked.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sadie''': Lars... Look at you! You're... you're a space pirate!
:'''Lars''': Look at you! You're a rock star!
:'''Sadie''': ''[Laughs] Well... ''[Laughs]''
:''[They both laugh in unison]''
:'''Lars''': I think it suits us!
:'''Sadie''': Yeah. Me, too!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[singing]'' ♫ I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me. / I don’t need you to love me, I love me. / But I want you to know you could know me, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind, / Change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind. ♫

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Linda McCartney</title>
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      <text bytes="3947" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Linda McCartney 1976.jpg|thumb|Linda McCartney in 1976]]

'''[[w:Linda McCartney|Linda Louise McCartney]]''' (''née'' '''Eastman'''; [[September 24]], [[1941]] – [[April 17]], [[1998]]) was an [[United States|American]] musician, photographer, and [[animal rights]] activist. She was married to [[Paul McCartney]] of [[the Beatles]].

== Quotes ==
* People are a bit blind. They don’t see life. Being a photographer I see life, every inch of it. I’m obsessed with nature and animals and the earth; I find concrete things that distract me. Most people are the opposite… they find life boring, squirrels or sparrows boring, whereas I find them fascinating. It has to do with the way we live. It probably started with religion which leads some people astray. To fight over whose god is better has nothing to do with love or spirituality. Perhaps it’s guilt. We are suppressed and spend our time trying to figure out who we are. The most shocking thing I’ve learned concerns abuse, child abuse, animal abuse, abuse to every living creature. There is a world of little Hitlers out there. Slaughterhouses, vivisection and experimenting on animals for no reason is sick. Luckily younger people are becoming more aware.
** [http://oobujoobu.tumblr.com/post/10590341050/interview-with-linda-mccartney Interview with Linda McCartney] by Karen Fox, Diamond Hard Music Entertainment, 1989.

* I'm trying to reproduce healthily in a [[Vegetarianism|vegetarian]] way every kind of flesh there is — bacon, smoked salmon, roast meat. We're working on it. A lot of vegetarians complain that my book [''Linda McCartney's Home Cooking''] is meat-oriented and some of the products look like meat. For me, though, it's a matter of not just preaching — I hate to do it and it doesn't work — but helping to make the alternatives more attractive to more people. Change the eating habits and maybe you change the thinking habits. … I'm convinced that part of the reason the world is so sick is that so many people eat flesh. What are you doing but eating a slab of fear? … Look how long it took to abolish slavery. There was a time when much of the &quot;civilized&quot; world thought it was acceptable. And then they saw that it was wrong. I think the same thing will happen with eating animals. I have faith that the day will come when the world looks back and says, &quot;How ''could'' we have done that?&quot; 
** Interview from ''The Paul McCartney 1990 New World Tour Book''; quoted in [https://www.superseventies.com/ssmccartneys.html &quot;Paul &amp; Linda McCartney - In Their Own Words&quot;, Super Seventies RockSite!].

== Quotes about Linda McCartney ==
* At 13, I decided to give up all meat and fish.  My parents were even more surprised and cautiously supportive – provided I learned how to get enough protein. The first vegetarian cookbook I ever bought to learn more about how to be a healthy vegetarian was &quot;Linda McCartney’s Home Cooking.&quot;  In a very pragmatic way, Linda McCartney helped me meet my mother’s conditions for being a vegetarian, to get enough protein and eat a well-balanced diet and, in the process, helped both my mom and me feel good about the choice I had made.
** [[Chelsea Clinton]], [http://rockcenter.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/06/19/19026302-on-assignment-chelsea-clinton-admires-vegetarian-stands-taken-by-stella-linda-mccartney?lite &quot;On Assignment: Chelsea Clinton admires vegetarian stands taken by Stella, Linda McCartney&quot;], Rock Center NBC News (June 20, 2013).

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:McCartney, Linda}}
[[Category:1941 births]]
[[Category:1998 deaths]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Musicians from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Animal rights activists]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:Photographers from the United States]]
[[Category:Vegetarians]]
[[Category:American women]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Victoria Legrand</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <text bytes="2087" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Grizzly Bear at JellyNYC's Pool Party (August 30th, 2009) (3877160910).jpg|thumb|Tender is the night&lt;br&gt;For a broken heart&lt;br&gt;Who will dry your eyes&lt;br&gt;When it falls apart]]

'''[[w:Victoria Legrand|Victoria Garance Alixe Legrand]]''' (born May 28, 1981) is a [[w:French Americans|French-American]] [[musician]], best known as the {{w|lead vocalist}}, {{w|songwriter}} and {{w|keyboardist}} of the {{w|dream pop}} duo {{w|Beach House}}.

==Quotes==

=== ''[[w:Bloom (Beach House album)|Bloom]]'' (May 15, 2012) ===
* Drifting in and out, you see the [[road]] you’re on&lt;br&gt;It came rolling down the cheek&lt;br&gt;[[Say]] just what you [[need]]&lt;br&gt; in between, it’s [[never]] as it seems
** ''Myth''

* If you built [[yourself]] a [[myth]]&lt;br&gt;You'd know just what to [[give]]&lt;br&gt;What comes after this&lt;br&gt;[[Momentary]] [[bliss]]&lt;br&gt;[[Consequence]] of what you do to me
** ''Myth''

* Can’t keep hanging on&lt;br&gt;To all that’s [[dead]] and gone&lt;br&gt;If you built yourself a myth&lt;br&gt;You'd know just what to give&lt;br&gt;Materialize&lt;br&gt;Or let the [[ashes]] fly.
** ''Myth''

=== ''{{w|Depression Cherry}}'' (August 28, 2015) ===
* Tender is the [[night]]&lt;br&gt;For a broken [[heart]]&lt;br&gt;Who will dry your [[eyes]]&lt;br&gt;When it falls apart
** ''Space Song''

=== [https://www.pushkin.fm/episode/beach-house/ Broken Record Interview] (2022) ===
* Risks can be really small moments. You know, it's like a small little pivot and there you went. You know, and you just let go. You did the past, you did the things, but you let them go. And putting out a record is that.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category|Victoria Legrand}}
* {{official website|http://www.beachhousebaltimore.com}}

{{Authority control}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Legrand, Victoria}}
[[Category:1981 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Baltimore]]
[[Category:People from Philadelphia]]
[[Category:Electronic music]]
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:People from Paris]]
[[Category:Dream pop]]
[[Category:Keyboardists]]
[[Category:American women]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Rose McGowan</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>208382</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149153</id>
      <parentid>2897401</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:48:04Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="2762" xml:space="preserve">[[File:RoseMcGowan08TIFF.jpg|thumb|Rose McGowan (2008)]]

'''[[w:Rose McGowan|Rose Arianna McGowan]]''' (born September 5, 1973) is an American activist, former actress, author, model, and singer.

==Quotes==
* It’s quite simple, all who have worked with known predators should do 3 simple things. 1) Believe survivors 2) Apologize for putting your careers and wallets before what was right. 3) Grab a spine and denounce. If you do not do these things you are still moral cowards.
** [https://twitter.com/rosemcgowan/status/931338274542460928 16 November 2017]

* I got to know Asia Argento ten months ago. Our commonality is the shared pain of being assaulted by Harvey Weinstein. My heart is broken. I will continue my work on behalf of victims everywhere.&lt;br&gt;None of us know the truth of the situation and I’m sure more will be revealed. Be gentle.
** [https://twitter.com/rosemcgowan/status/1031477689947967489 5:46am] and [https://twitter.com/rosemcgowan/status/1031535197433602048 9:35am] 20 August 2018 reaction to accusations against [[Asia Argento]] according to [https://deadline.com/2018/08/rose-mcgowan-asia-argento-jimmy-bennett-heart-broken-sexual-assault-payoff-report-reaction-1202448340/ Deadline], [https://www.eonline.com/ca/news/961510/rose-mcgowan-reacts-to-asia-argento-reportedly-paying-off-sexual-assault-accuser E!], [https://ew.com/movies/2018/08/20/rose-mcgowan-asia-argento/ Entertainment Weekly],  [https://variety.com/2018/biz/news/rose-mcgowan-asia-argento-sexual-assault-accusation-1202909955/ Variety] and [http://www.vulture.com/2018/08/rose-mcgowan-responds-to-asia-argento-assault-allegations.html Vulture].

*I never said #MeToo is a lie. Ever. I was talking about Hollywood and Time’s Up, not #MeToo. Ugh. I’m so tired of erroneous sh*tstorms. #MeToo is about survivors and their experiences, that cannot be taken away.
**twitter 1049058197288509445 7 October 2018

*I just think they’re douchebags. They’re not champions. I just think they’re losers. I don’t like them. How do I explain the fact that I got a GQ Man of the Year award and no women’s magazines and no women’s organisations have supported me?
**thedailybeast / rose-mcgowan-rips-lily-livered-metoo-hypocrites-as-douchebags 8 October 2018

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:McGowan, Rose}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:LGBT rights activists]]
[[Category:Feminists]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Models from the United States]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:Women authors]]
[[Category:1973 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Florence]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>South Park/Season 21</title>
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      <comment>/* Hummels &amp; Heroin [21.05] */</comment>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[South Park/Season 1|1]] [[South Park/Season 2|2]] [[South Park/Season 3|3]] [[South Park/Season 4|4]] [[South Park/Season 5|5]] [[South Park/Season 6|6]] [[South Park/Season 7|7]] [[South Park/Season 8|8]] [[South Park/Season 9|9]] [[South Park/Season 10|10]] [[South Park/Season 11|11]] [[South Park/Season 12|12]] [[South Park/Season 13|13]] [[South Park/Season 14|14]] [[South Park/Season 15|15]] [[South Park/Season 16|16]] [[South Park/Season 17|17]] [[South Park/Season 18|18]] [[South Park/Season 19|19]] [[South Park/Season 20|20]] '''21''' [[South Park/Season 22|22]] [[South Park/Season 23|23]] [[South Park/Season 24|24]] [[South Park/Season 25|25]] | [[South Park|Main]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997-present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

{{tv-stub}}

=== ''[[w:White People Renovating Houses|White People Renovating Houses]]'' [21.01] ===

=== ''[[w:Put It Down (South Park)|Put It Down]]'' [21.02] ===

:'''Tweek''': Oh, my god! What is that?! ''What is that?!''
:'''Craig''': It's probably nothing. Everything's fine.
:'''Tweek''': Will you please stop saying that?! I can't take it!
:'''Craig''': I'm trying to make you feel better!
:'''Tweek''': Well, maybe I don't ''want'' to feel better right now!
:'''Craig''': Okay, but think about that. That actually doesn't make any sense.
:'''Tweek''': Why do you have to be so logical?! I don't need you to problem-solve all the time! I need you to... ''[yells] I don't know!''
:'''Craig''': Tweek, honey. All week, you've been freaking out and ''I've'' been the one forced to deal with it.
:'''Tweek''': You haven't been dealing with it! You've been trying to make it go away because my emotions ''are freaking you out!''
:''[A young girl behind Tweek is run over by a bumper car]''
:'''Craig''': Tweek, North Korea isn't bombing anyone. They would lose the support of China, and that would be -
:'''Tweek''': There you go again! Stop preaching facts to me! ''It's not what I need!''
:'''Craig''': Well, I'm sorry that I'm actually in control of my goddamn emotions, ''you baby! [beat]'' Oh, see? Now you made me lose control of my emotions. Goddamn it.
:''[Craig leaves. Tweek quivers then screams]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Heidi Turner''': Eric, you need to stop. What they're doing is important.
:'''Eric Cartman''': They're doing a memorial service with speeches and crying. What's that gonna solve?
:'''Heidi Turner''': It's not about problem solving, Eric. It's about people getting together and feeling what they need to feel. People need help sorting out their emotions sometimes. And the best thing isn't always quick answers but just being there, supporting each other and talking through those feelings.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Craig''': Tweek! What's going on?
:'''Tweek''': What?! What do you mean what's going on?! The same shit that's been going on! 
:'''Craig''': Nothing's gotten any better?! Oh, my God! How does that make you feel?
:'''Tweek''': I feel scared! I feel alone!
:'''Craig''': That must be horrible to feel that way! It must be hard for you to even think!
:'''Tweek''': It is! ''[jumps off the bed]'' It's terrible!
:'''Craig''': I bet it's terrible! What else are you feeling?
:'''Tweek''': Like - Like I have no control over my life! Like I'm just a pawn in a big game. 
:'''Craig''': Oh, that's a terrifying thought. You must feel trapped!
:'''Tweek''': Yeah, like trapped but, like, completely unable to even move!
:'''Craig''': Jesus! It's like there's no solution to any of this! What are you gonna do? What ''can'' you do?!
:'''Tweek''': I don't know! It's-It's like maybe-maybe I have to find a way to feel a little in charge of me again.
:'''Craig''': That sounds so insurmountable, though. How would you even start?
:'''Tweek''': I don't know, but I-I gotta do something about this. There's gotta be a way I can... ''[calms, turns to Craig and smiles]'' Thank you, Craig.

=== ''[[w:Holiday Special (South Park)|Holiday Special]]'' [21.03] ===

=== ''[[w:Franchise Prequel|Franchise Prequel]]'' [21.04] ===
:'''Stephen''': Make me look a fool, will you? We'll just see about this! Not so funny now, is it? Go on! Tell Mr. Putin what you told me!
:'''Butters''': Well, I was just, I just said how I'd use Facebook like Russia did. And I really didn't break any rules and--
:'''Stephen''': Didn't break any rules! Good job teaching our children that's all that matters! Just because there's a way to cause chaos in a town, or disrupt an entire country, doesn't mean you go and do it, does it?! If Mark Zuckerberg points a loaded cannon at someone’s face, ''[points to Putin]'' are you innocent for just lighting the fuse?! Answer me!
:'''Putin''': Nyet, sir.
:'''Stephen''': No! You don't go around making things about people either, unless it's about Mark Zuckerberg because he deserves it. I hope you're both ''very'' satisfied with the damage you've caused, because you're both GROUNDED!!

=== ''[[w:Hummels &amp; Heroin|Hummels &amp; Heroin]]'' [21.05] ===
:'''Marcus' Dad''': Okay, okay, can everyone hear me? Hello? Thanks, everyone, for helping us celebrate Marcus' birthday.  As a special birthday surprise for you, Marcus, we got you your favorite entertainer. Everyone, please welcome Chuck E. Cheese.
:'''Chuck E. Cheese''': Hey. Check.
:'''Marcus''': Yes. Yehehehehes.
:'''Chuck E. Cheese''': I ah thanks... for'm celeb... Marcus's birthday.
:'''Marcus' Mom''': What's wrong with him?
:'''Marcus' Dad''': Can't you tell? He's high on painkillers!
:'''Chuck E. Cheese''': Hold on. Shit. Okay, let's.... do this… Never meant to cause you any so- ''[retches, falls off the stage, and dies, making Marcus scream]''
:'''Marcus' Dad''': All right, kids, uh, why don't we head back to the party and cut the cake?
:'''Marcus''': I don't want cake! Who's gonna eat cake at a time like this?! (''crying'')
:'''Man 1''': Another drug overdose?
:'''Man 2''': Most likely. Percolate and Oxycontin found wrapped in his cheesecloth.
:'''Man 1''': Prescription drugs, but with no prescription
:'''Man 2''': You guys know where all these illegal meds are coming from?
:'''Man 1''': Most likely from the prisons. Whenever there's a drug epidemic you can usually trace it back to people who've been... thrown away by society and forgotten about.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Woman''': Can I help you?
:'''Stan Marsh''': Yeah, I'm here to visit my grandpa?
:'''Woman''': Oh, how nice of you. All right, arms in the air.  What's the present?
:'''Stan Marsh''': It's just some Hummels.
:'''Woman''': More Hummels? Why are senior citizens so infatuated with these little German statues? All right, go on, you got ten minutes.
:'''Stan Marsh''': Grandpa?
:'''Marvin Marsh''': Billy!  Finally you're here to visit. Did you bring Grandpa a present?
:'''Stan Marsh''': Yeah, I got what you wanted.
:'''Marvin Marsh''': Awww, Merry Wanderer  and Happy Traveler?  These Hummels suck!
:'''Stan Marsh''': That's what the guy gave me.
:'''Marvin Marsh''': It's okay, Billy. I'm just gonna need you to deliver another one of Ms. McGullicutty's crochet pillows.
:'''Stan Marsh''': Aw, come on, Grandpa. Isn't it enough I come to visit?
:'''Marvin Marsh''': You don't understand how it works in here. Ms. McGullicutty is top bitch. You do what she says, or you pay the price.
:'''Elderly Man 1''': Oh, please, uh I don't want no trouble.  I'm sorry. I'll get better Hummels.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kyle Broflovski''': Dude, Stan. Come on, dude, we're gonna go set off fireworks at Kenny's house.
:'''Stan Marsh''': I will. I just gotta do this for my grandpa first.
:'''Eric Cartman''': Again? Dude, how many crappy crochet pillows do you have to give out for him?
:'''Stan Marsh''': I don't know. It's what he wants. I feel bad for him, all right? I think he's miserable.
:'''Eric Cartman''': He's old. He's supposed to be miserable.
:'''Stan Marsh''': Look, I just gotta make this exchange for him and then we can go. Oh, oh, I think this is her now. 
:'''Swiper''': Are you Stan Marsh? It's me, Swiper.
:'''Stan Marsh''': Cool. Do you have the Hummel?
:'''Swiper''': This is it. Ride Into Christmas, Limited Edition. Now give me the pillow. I have to get to a birthday party.
:'''Stan Marsh''': 'Kay, fine.
:'''Swiper''': All right, peace. 
:'''Kyle Broflovski''': Dude, that's really weird.
:'''Stan Marsh''': Old people love Hummels, dude.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Marcus''': Students, faculty, and staff, today we are facing an epidemic of catastrophic proportions. I know I am not alone in mourning the loss of one of our greatest entertainers,  Chuck E. Cheese. Had we known the personal hell he was going through, perhaps we could've helped. But too many were more than eager to supply Chuck E. with the opioids that caused his untimely death. Chuck E. was not the first entertainer to die from this epidemic. Let us not forget Dinkie Dook the Clown, dead of a Roxanol overdose at Tommy Schneider's bar mitzvah last March. Shimmer and Shine , who both collapsed from massive amounts of oxycodone at Nelly Anderson's birthday party. Spider-man, cut down in prime by Demerol, and just recently, Swiper the Fox. dead of multiple opioids found in his crochet pillow. How many more entertainers must we lose before we take action?! It is time to declare war on opioids in our society!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Eric Cartman''': Dude, what the fuck, Stan?!
:'''Stan Marsh''': I don't know, all right?!
:'''Kyle Broflovski''': You didn't know you were slinging drugs for your grandpa?
:'''Stan Marsh''': It didn't occur to me as a possibility.
:'''Eric Cartman''': Dude, did you hear everyone in school?! They're coming after you! You killed Swiper the Fox, and we were standing there with you! You gotta tell people we had no idea what was going on!
:'''Stan Marsh''': I had no idea what was going on!
:'''Butters Stotch''': Hey fellas! Boy, that Marcus kid is on the warpath, huh? Well, he's really motivated. I mean, screw that kid, but I guess it's good somebody's finally doing something about these goddamn drug dealers. Well, see ya, fellas.
:'''Eric Cartman''': Our only way out is to go to the police right now and turn Stan's grandpa in!
:'''Stan Marsh''': No, we don't have to do that! Let me talk to him. I can put a stop to this.

:'''Stan Marsh''':  Grandpa, what the hell have you gotten me into?!

:'''Marvin Marsh''':  Shhh, quiet. They'll hear you!

:'''Stan Marsh''': There were drugs in the crochet pillow, weren't there?! Do you know people are dying?!

:'''Marvin Marsh''': What do you want me to do, Billy? You see Ms. McGullicutty over there?  Whoever has the best Hummel collection is top bitch in this place, and she's got the best. She's ruthless, and she has those old lady farts. You know old lady farts, right? Where they're so loose they don't even acknowledge they happened?

:'''Ms. McGullicutty''': Oh, hello, Mr. Marsh.

:'''Marvin Marsh''': Oh, Ms. McGullicutty. How are you feeling today?

:'''Ms. McGullicutty''': I'm doing very well. Have they given you Percocet for that knee of yours?

:'''Marvin Marsh''': Oh, yeah, here, I I just got it, huh. Here you go. 

:'''Ms. McGullicutty''': Oh, you'd almost think you were trying to keep them from me. 

:'''Stan Marsh''': Oh, uh, ma'am? My grandpa actually really needs those drugs. He's in a lot of pain.

:'''Ms. McGullicutty''': Ohhh, and who's this little rascal?

:'''Marvin Marsh''': That's my grandson, uh he he's worthless.

:'''Ms. McGullicutty''': How sweet. Hmmm, coming to visit your old poppa in the joint, huh? You love your poppa, don't you? You'd hate to see him suffer even more he already is. You watch your ass, Marsh, or I'll have you sent to the quiet room.

:'''Stan Marsh''': What, what is she talking about? What's the quiet room?

:'''Marvin Marsh''': I told you, she has all the pull in here. You go against what she says, you end up in solitaire.

:'''Man 3''': No! No, please, uh I didn't do anything!

:'''Man 4''': It's all right, Mr. Standish, you just need a little quiet time.

:'''Man 3''': Uh, I don't even know how to play solitaire. Please!

:'''Marcus''': I understand that today they are performing Chuck E. Cheese's autopsy?

:'''Receptionist''': Oh, the kids' party performer. Yeah.


:'''Marcus''':  As a concerned member of the public, I wish to be present.

:'''Receptionist''': Uh, sorry, children aren't really allowed in autopsies.

:'''Marcus''': Then I shall wait here to learn the coroner's findings.

:'''Man 5''': Toxicology reports show subject had massive amounts of opioids in system at time of death. Now proceeding.

:'''Man 5''': Have these put in the garbage.

:'''Marcus''': What did you find, coroner?

:'''Man 5''':  Who is this?

:'''Marcus''': There is an epidemic in our community, sir. Some of us actually care to confront the problem! Now, dammit, what did you find?

:'''Man 5''': Nothing out of the ordinary. The subject died of a simple overdose. We found nothing else except for two Hummmels in the subject's rectal cavity.

:'''Marcus''': Hummels? In his rectal cavity, you say? And you do not find this out of the ordinary?

:'''Man 5''': Not at all. We found Hummels in nearly all the birthday entertainers' anal cavities. It's very common in our overdose victims.

:'''Marcus''': Mmmm, a bit too common, don't you think?

:'''Stan Marsh''': Guys, why does Grandpa have to be in a nursing home? Can't he live with us again?

:'''Randy Marsh''': Stan, Grandpas has a lot of needs that we can't provide him here. He needs professional supervision.

:'''Stan Marsh''': Is that really it? Because I, I just feel like we kind of threw Grandpa away and forgot about him.

:'''Randy Marsh''': Oh, really? Do you have any idea how much money we pay to have Grandpa in that place? Your grandpa is stylin'! Can you imagine being able to just sit around all day and not have to do anything but eat and watch TV?

:'''Stan Marsh''': Yeah. I'd probably go crazy and wanna kill myself.

:'''Randy Marsh''': Jesus, Stan! It's not like he's in jail!

:'''Stan Marsh''': Yeah, it's kind of like jail. You should go visit him.

:'''Randy Marsh''': I can't! I'm too busy busting my ass to pay the bills for that place, and to pay for your guitar lessons!

:'''Stan Marsh''': I don't have guitar lessons.

:'''Randy Marsh''': I don't want to go there. It's depressing. Aw you tricked me.

:'''Stan Marsh''': Hello?

:'''Kyle Broflovski''': Dude! Did you give Butters a crochet pillow to drop off?!

:'''Stan Marsh''': Dude, I don't have a choice. I have to get the Hummels for my grandpa.

:'''Kyle Broflovski''': Well, you need to get Hummels without making Butters a drug dealer!

:'''Butters Stotch''': Drug dealer??

:'''Stan Marsh''': All right, all right! I think I know another way.

:'''Delivery Man''': Hey, we have this week's delivery of medications.

:'''Woman''': Bring them in.

:'''Stan Marsh''': [screaming]

:'''Marcus''': Hello, Mr. Marsh.

:'''Stan Marsh''': Uh hey, hey, Marcus.

:'''Marcus''': I understand you've become quite the Hummel collector lately. What's the... fascination with Hummels?

:'''Stan Marsh''': Nothing. I-look, I, I just really like Hummels, okay? I'm just, I'm really into Hummels.

:'''Marcus''': Ah! I see. So then you should be able to tell me what this Hummel is called!
 
:'''Stan Marsh''': That, that's uh...

:'''Marcus''': Come on! If you're a Hummel expert, then you should know its name!

:'''Stan Marsh''':  That, it's, it's &quot;Whistling In The Rain.&quot;

:'''Marcus''': Wrong! It's called &quot;Stormy Weather!&quot; Do you know where it was found?

:'''Stan Marsh''': No.

:'''Marcus''': It was found deep in the anus of one Chuck E. Cheese, the renowned entertainer beloved by millions! If you know something about the epidemic that is killing artists, you'd better cough it up!

:'''Stan Marsh''': Marcus, trust me. You don't wanna get involved.

:'''Marcus''': I became involved when Chuck E. Cheese collapsed like a rag doll before my very eyes! If you had any involvement, I will bring you down!

:'''Randy Marsh''': Well, it's really great seeing you, Dad. Guess we oughtta hit the road soon.

:'''Marvin Marsh''': You finally come to visit and leave after 10 minutes?

:'''Randy Marsh''' : Aw Jesus, now we know where Stan gets his guilt trips from!

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''': Mmmm, it seems somebody's been a little naughty lately.

:'''Marvin Marsh''': Oh, Ms. McGullicutty, heh heh. How are you?

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''': Hrrmm. My, what a lovely Hummel collection you're starting to amass. Almost smells... brand new, doesn't it?  Like it was purchased right from the factory. Ooooo! And who are these lovely people? Family that came to visit, no doubt? 

:'''Randy Marsh''': Yes. Yeah, we love coming here.

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''': Ah, family. I remember when I was a little girl.  My brother used to play such tricks on me. Tried to fool me. Tried to get out from his responsibilities. 

:'''Marvin Marsh''': I'm giving you Hummels. What's it matter where they came from?

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''': Nooo, it doesn't matter to me. But it matters to them. The big guys. You see, what they want is more people who are addicted to crochet pillows.  Got it?  Nice to meet you fine folks.

:'''Randy Marsh''':  Wugh. We're never visiting here again.

:'''Eric Cartman''': Ohooo, you're dead, Butters.

:'''Butters Stotch''': Haw Jeez.

:'''Stan Marsh''': Guys! Guys, I need your help.

:'''Eric Cartman''': If it has to do with your heroin operation, count us out.

:'''Stan Marsh''': I just talked to my grandpa. There's more at work here than just old people pushing pills.

:'''Kyle Broflovski''': Stan, we told you we don't wanna be involved.

:'''Stan Marsh''': The head ***** of the nursing home is gonna take my grandpa down. Maybe my whole family.

:'''Butters Stotch''': Get out of the way, dude!

:'''Stan Marsh''': But I know what to do! Whoever has the best Hummels controls the nursing home. We've gotta steal this lady's Hummel collection and give it to my grandpa!

:'''Eric Cartman''': Dude, Stan, even if we wanted to help you, which we don't, there's no way we can sneak into an old folks home, distract all the old people, and take an old lady's Hummels! Oh wait, there totally is a way we could do that.

:'''Stan Marsh''': Yeah? What is, what is it, Cartman?

:'''Kyle Broflovski''': Dude, we're not getting involved!

:'''Stan Marsh''': Cartman, if you have an idea, please tell me. I need you.

:'''Eric Cartman''': I know how to distract old people.

:'''Kyle Broflovski''': Haww shit!

:'''Marcus''' : Yes?

:'''Annie''' : We're at Mimi Thompson's party. Peppa Pig just collapsed on stage.

:'''Marcus''':  Oh my God! Don't let anyone near Peppa Pig until I arrive!  Move aside! Let me through!  Aw, Peppa. Peppa, can you hear me?

:'''Peppa Pig''': [suffered]

:'''Marcus''': My name is Marcus Preston. Can you understand me? Where did you get the drugs, Peppa? Was it from Stan Marsh?

:'''Peppa Pig''': Yo man, whatchoo talkin' about? Get me a frackin' ambulance!

:'''Marcus''':  Shh, Peppa. Focus. Soon you'll be in heaven jumping in all the puddles you can imagine. But first, you must tell me, where do the Hummels go, Peppa?

:'''Ambulance lady''': All right, let us through. Get away, kids.

:'''Marcus''': Peppa, now! Why Hummels?! You've got to squeal!

:'''Peppa Pig''': Old people. Old people... love... Hummels.

:'''Marcus''': It's okay, she's with Chuck E. Cheese now.

:'''Woman''':  Can I help you?

:'''Eric Cartman''': Oh yes, hello. We are adorable children here to entertain old people.

:'''Woman''': Didn't think we had anyone scheduled tonight. Are you with the Protestant youth group?

:'''Eric Cartman''': Yes that's right, we are young prostitutes here to volunteer however we can.

:'''Woman''': Fine. Round them up, we got another kids choir!

:'''Man 6''' : Come on, let's go. Children's choir in the commons.

:'''Residents''': Aw dammit. ****.

:'''Man 6''': Darlin' children are gonna sing for you! Move your asses!

:'''Elderly Man 2''': Aw, not again.

:'''Eric Cartman'''': All right, seniors. How are we feeling tonight? Our youth group has come to lift your spirits with some songs to take you down memory lane. We hope you can enjoy some nice old-people music.

:'''Boys''': [singing]

:'''Elderly Man 3''': You shit!


:'''Eric Cartman''':  Hey hey! We are adorable children trying to bring sunshine into your lives!

:'''Elderly Man 3''': frack you!

:'''Eric Cartman''': frack you!

:'''The Boys''': [singing]

:'''Marcus''': Hello, Mr. Marsh!

:'''Stan Marsh''': Marcus.

:'''Marcus''':  I told you I'd bring you down.

:'''Stan Marsh''':  Marcus, it's not what you think. I'm trying to make things better here.

:'''Marcus''':  Oh, I bet you are! You, your grandpa, ALL the people here, are going to jail! I'm calling the police!

:'''Stan Marsh''':  You can put an end to this place, but you won't be stopping the problem. These people are victims too, Marcus. Victims of a way bigger game being played by way bigger people!

:'''Marcus''':  Oh, you're a fine one for speeches! When it comes to saving your own ass!

:'''Stan Marsh''': It's not for me, Marcus. Look, I know you loved Chuck E. Cheese.  I know you'd do anything to bring down the people who took him from you. That's why you have to go further, Marcus. Take it to the people who profited from Chuck E.'s addiction.

:'''Marcus''': [crying] He was just a mouse... who wanted to make people happy.

:'''Stan Marsh''':  I know. I know.

:'''The Boys''': [singing]

:'''Eric Cartman''':  I come around.

:'''Butters Stotch''':  Hey, where are y'all goin'?

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''': Back to our rooms. You kids are absolutely awful.

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''':  What the?  Someone is in my room! 

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''': Whaaaat?!

:'''Marvin Marsh''': Billy. What are you doin' here?

:'''Stan Marsh''': Surprise, Grandpa.  I got what you needed.

:'''Marvin Marsh''': Heh.  Billy, Mrs. McGullicutty's Hummel collection. You got it for me.

:'''Stan Marsh''': Yeah, Grandpa. Now you can put a stop to all this, right?

:'''Marvin''': Yeah. I just might be able to.

:'''Stan Marsh''': What are you doing, Grandpa?

:'''Marvin Marsh''': I told you, Billy. These Hummels hold a special power with old people.

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''': You!

:'''Marvin Marsh''': Go on, get out of here.

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''': You really thought stealing my Hummels would make you the head bitch in this place?!

:'''Marvin Marsh''' : Yeah. I think it will. 

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''':  Aaah!

:'''Marvin Marsh''':  Now you know how we do shit in the nursing home.

:'''Cartman''': ...That's pretty sweet.

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''' : You get your paws off of me, young man! 

:'''Man''': There there, Ms. McGullicutty. Everything's gonna be all right. 

:'''Mrs. McGullicutty''':  No! Not solitaire! I won't play it! You can't make me!

:'''Stan Marsh''':  Congratulations on becoming head bitch, Grandpa.

:'''Marvin Marsh''': Thank you, Billy. Now if we could only take down the real douchebags who profit from all this.

:'''Stan Marsh''': Ahhh, don't worry. I have a feeling that's about to happen.

:'''Marcus''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Preston. I have... some questions.

=== ''[[w:Sons a Witches|Sons a Witches]]'' [21.06] ===
:''[Marsh house]''
:'''Randy''': ''[comes down the stairs oes to the fridge, gets out a gallon of fruit punch, and drinks straight from it, sighing with satisfaction; turns and notices Sharon with her arms crossed]'' Oh. Hey, didn't see you there.
:'''Sharon''': Did you hear anything about what happened last night?
:'''Randy''': Uuuhhh, no, what happened?
:'''Sharon''': Your buddy, Chip Duncan? ''[holds up her phone]'' Apparently, he flew around on a broom, blew things up, and kidnapped some children?
:'''Randy''': Are you serious?!
:'''Sharon''': You heard nothing about this?! He flew away vowing we'd all be dead by Halloween!
:'''Randy''': God, I knew that guy was a fuckin' chode.
:'''Sharon''': Randy, what did you guys do at that party?
:'''Randy''': Nothin'. We were just hangin' out and talkin' and stuff, and then Chip got all weird.
:'''Sharon''': People were hurt!
:'''Randy''': Yeah, I agree! It's awful! We're not like Chip, okay?! He's a bad witch!

=== ''[[w:Doubling Down (South Park)|Doubling Down]]'' [21.07] ===

=== ''[[w:Moss Piglets (South Park)|Moss Piglets]]'' [21.08] ===

=== ''[[w:Super Hard PCness|Super Hard PCness]]'' [21.09] ===
:'''Kyle''': ''[on the phone with Mr. Garrison as Donald Trump]'' Yes, This is Millennials Against Canada.
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Yeah, listen, this thing's kind of escalating. You people need to call it quits.
:'''Kyle''': We can't do that, Mr. President. Someone has to do what's right.
:'''Mr. Garrison''': What exactly do you want?
:'''Kyle''': What do I want? I want a world... where laughter doesn't come at someone else's expense. Where people can live freely without fear of being farted on. I want a world where you aren't ridiculed for trying to help. A world where a nice girl that I liked isn't turned into another Eric Cartman! These Canadians are in the way of that world, and everything they do and everything they have done needs to be ERASED from the Earth!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Jeez, I got a little chub.

=== ''[[w:Splatty Tomato|Splatty Tomato]]'' [21.10] ===

[[Category:South Park seasons]]
:'''Craig''': ''[comforting Tweek]'' There there, Tweek. Everything is going to be okay.
:'''Tweek''': I saw what I saw, Craig! You have to believe me!
:'''Stan''': What's going on?
:'''Craig''': Tweek's having a panic attack.
:'''Tweek''': It was real! He tried to get me!
:'''Kyle''': Who did?
:'''Tweek''': The President!
:'''Craig''': It's just your imagination, Tweek.
:'''Stan''': It's not his imagination. I saw him too.
:'''Kyle''': You saw the President?
:'''Stan''': Out by the quarry. But I didn't believe it. I said, &quot;How could this be?&quot;
:'''Heidi''': &quot;The President?&quot; I saw him too. He had a blue suit and an orange face. He kept asking me &quot;How are my ap-&quot;
:'''Token''': &quot;How are my approval ratings?&quot; I saw him too.
:'''Stan''': Dude, isn't this all really familiar? I saw something just like this on that show called ''Stranger-''
:'''Randy''': ''Stranger Things.'' ''Stranger Things'' is the show. I saw it too.
:'''Craig''': But wait, isn't ''Stranger Things'' just like that movie-?
:'''Cartman''': Just like that movie ''IT''.
:'''Randy''': You saw ''IT'' too?
:'''Cartman''': Yeah, I saw ''IT'' in the theater.
:'''Token''': I saw ''Stranger Things'' AND ''IT''.
:'''Randy''': Jesus, I don't think anyone's imagining anything. I think the President IS here. You kids get inside somewhere. I have to warn the town! ''[gets on his bike and rides off, only to fall on his face]'' Aw!</text>
      <sha1>9jibjr0wmy1jwbxfyur42y93bc1z9cu</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Spanish Civil War</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>213103</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149047</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T15:57:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>AC9016</username>
        <id>2870313</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* A */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="80542" xml:space="preserve">The '''[[w:Spanish Civil War|Spanish Civil War]]''' (Spanish: ''Guerra Civil Española'') took place from 1936 to 1939. [[w:Republican faction (Spanish Civil War)|Republicans]] loyal to the left-wing [[w:Second Spanish Republic|Second Spanish Republic]], in alliance with the [[anarchists]], [[socialists]] and [[communists]], fought against the [[w:Nationalist faction (Spanish Civil War)|Nationalists]], in alliance with the Carlists, Catholics, Falangists and Aristocrats led by General [[Francisco Franco]]. The Nationalists won the war in early 1939 and ruled Spain until Franco's death in November 1975.


[[File:Collage guerra civile spagnola.png|thumb|The world to-day is faced with a contest between two sides, and those two sides are whether the rule of law in international affairs shall prevail, or the [[fascism|rule of lawless force]]. That is the issue that faces us, and we must look at this Spanish struggle in its true perspective. ~ [[Clement Attlee]]]]
[[File:Map of the Spanish Civil War in September 1936.png|thumb|Our country is suffering a profound disturbance; it is not only an extremely cruel civil war that fills us with tribulation, but also a tremendous commotion that shakes the very connections of our society and has even endangered our existence as a nation...]]
[[File:La Passionara.jpg|thumb|They gave up everything, their homes, their country, home and fortune- fathers, mothers, wives, brothers, sisters and children, and they came and told us: &quot;We are here, your cause, Spain's cause, is ours.&quot; ~ Isidora Dolores Ibárruri Gómez]]
[[File:Lincoln Battalion.jpg|thumb|Say of them, &lt;br&gt;They are no longer young, they never learned &lt;br&gt;The arts, the stealth of peace, this peace, the tricks of fear; &lt;br&gt;And what they knew, they know &lt;br&gt;And what they dared they dare. ~ Genevieve Taggard]]
[[File:Escudo de la Archidiócesis de Madrid.svg|thumb|The Church did not want and did not seek this war, and we do not consider it necessary to justify it against the charges of belligerence that foreign periodicals have leveled at the Church in Spain. It is true that thousands of her children, obeying the dictates of conscience and patriotism, and on their own personal responsibility, rose up in arms to save the principles of Christian religion and justice that have for centuries informed the life of the nation; but whoever accuses it of having provoked this war or of having conspired to start it, or even of not having done everything in its power to avoid it, ignores or falsifies reality...]]
[[File:Francisco Franco 1930.jpg|thumb|Can we consent to the shameful spectacle we are presenting to the world for one more day? Can we abandon Spain to the fatherland's enemies by cowardly and treasonous actions, surrendering it without a struggle and without resistance? No! The traitors may do so, but those of us who have sworn to defend it will not. ~ [[Francisco Franco]]]]
[[File:Map of the Spanish Civil War in February 1939.png|thumb|We weren't going to win the war, that was clear by now. But there had been a purpose to our fight, and that was what had given us our strength. Otherwise, the war would have been an unending horror, a tragic waste of precious life. But Spain's struggle was a different kind of war- a people's fight for its democratic rights. I felt proud to have been part of the International volunteer army that had come to Spain to put an end to fascism. ~ Harry Fisher]]
[[File:Republican forces during the Battle of Irún.jpg|thumb|Republican forces during the Battle of Irún in 1936.]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-E20569-21, Spanien, Ausbildung durch &quot;Legion Condor&quot;.jpg|thumb|Members of the Condor Legion, a unit composed of volunteers from the German Air Force (Luftwaffe) and from the German Army (Heer) training in  Ávila.]]
[[File:Junkers Ju 87A with Spanish rebel markings.jpg|thumb|Junkers Ju-87A of the Condor Legion over Spain.]]
[[File:International Brigades-Abraham Lincoln-1st Batallion.svg|thumb|Early flag of the Abraham Lincoln Battalion]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-H25224, Guernica, Ruinen.jpg|thumb|Ruins of Guernica after the bombing, 31 December 1936.]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-C0214-0007-013, Spanien, Flugzeug der Legion Condor.jpg|thumb|Heinkel He-111 of the Condor Legion between bombing missions.]]
[[File:Pruebas de mar cervera.jpg|thumb|The cruiser ''Almirante Cervera'', a key part of the Nationalist fleet]]
[[File:Destructor Lepanto (LT).jpg|thumb|The destroyer ''Lepanto'', part of the Republican fleet]]

__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}

== A ==

* ''Ante Dios y ante la Historia que a todos nos ha de juzgar, afirmo que durante tres horas y media los aviones alemanes bombardearon con saña desconocida la población civil indefensa de la histórica villa de Gernika reduciéndola a cenizas, persiguiendo con el fuego de ametralladora a mujeres y niños, que han perecido en gran número huyendo los demás alocados por el terror.''
** Before God and before History which must judge us all, I affirm that for three and one-half hours, German planes bombarded with unheard-of fury the defenceless civilian population of the historic city of Gernika, reducing it to ashes, chasing with machine-gun fire women and children who perished in great number, fleeing the stampede of others driven mad by panic.
** [[w:José Antonio Aguirre|José Antonio Aguirre]], lehendakari of the Basque Country {{source}}

* '''Unlike many, [Franco] expected the Civil War to be long, dirty, and closely fought.''' In preparation, he solicited and received aid from Hitler and Mussolini. To the irritation of both dictators, '''Franco resisted pressure for bold actions that, in his judgment, would have entailed taking excessive risks. Instead he waged war like a safecracker, turning the dial one click at a time.''' He used aerial bombardments to soften up any opposition before attacking on the ground. He paid careful attention to logistics and didn't squander his ammunition, equipment or men. He moved his headquarters close to the fighting and insisted that a field commander lead in retaking any territory on the global stage, for the [[Spanish Civil War]] (1936-1939) was of interest not solely to Spain.
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 49-50

* For liberals in the West, the showdown between the Spanish Republic and Franco's nationalist rebels seemed the first real chance to stop Fascism's terrifying advance. Volunteers from fifty-four countries, including three thousand from the United States, formed international brigades to assist in the cause. The Largo Caballero government, still desperate for help, turned to Stalin, who offered men and equipment in return for a clandestine shipment of the country's entire supply of gold. Celebrity photographers, poets, and writers- Ernest Hemingway included- hurried to chronicle and at times glamorize the competition between the forces of light, as they saw it, and darkness. The conflict, though, was anything but romantic. It lasted four years and killed more than half a million people. There were long lulls, but the clashes were savage. Each side executed prisoners, and each cast a wide net in arresting enemy sympathizers. For Franco, the systematic rooting out of potential foes was just good strategy. One of his subordinates told allied mayors, &quot;It is necessary to create an atmosphere of terror. We must create an impression of mastery. Anyone who is overtly or secretly a supporter of the Popular Front must be shot.&quot;
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 50

* Spain, divided by ideology and class, was split by religion as well. Some priests opposed the nationalists, but the Roman Catholic hierarchy was clearly identified with Franco. Its officials were among the more vocal advocates of harsh measures, and a few took delight in personally gunning down &quot;reds.&quot; Meanwhile, the left was generally hostile to the Church and hungry to seize its land. Republican forces murdered an estimated ten thousand bishops, priests, nuns, and monks. These atrocities helped color foreign reporting and prompted most major newspapers in the United States to support Franco. When Eleanor Roosevelt urged her husband to send arms to the Spanish Republican government, he told her that if he were to do so, no Catholic would ever vote for him again.
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 51

* Militarily, neither side was very potent, but Franco benefited from the failure of the Republican factions to coalesce. The Spanish left was a political battleground that encompassed Communists loyal to the party, laborers partial to the exiled Bolshevik theorist Leon Trotsky (a bitter rival of Stalin), internationalists who meant well but lacked military skills, anarchists who detested everyone including each other, and a Socialist government trying to present an attractive face to the world. While Franco was taking his time, the opposition factions were beating one another up, squabbling over supplies, and tossing some of their most committed partisans in jail. George Orwell, who went to Spain to fight Fascism, ended up getting shot by a Communist sniper and exiting the country one jump ahead of the Socialist police. 
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 51

* There are aspects of the Spanish Civil War that remain relevant today. The bloodshed generated controversy within neighboring countries, especially France, about whether to accept or turn back the tens of thousands of refugees who sought relief from the fighting. The Russian troops and tanks that appeared in Spain did so without markings or insignia, just as their successors would do in the 1961 Berlin crisis and, more than fifty years later, in Ukraine. The German bombing of Guernica, immortalized by Picasso, sparked calls for an international war crimes investigation that never took place. Instead the perpetrators first denied that any bombs had fallen, then blamed the carnage on the victims. Franco was Spain's youngest general and possibly its most cruel. He personally ordered the executions of thousands of alleged enemy combatants and sympathizers, without the slightest sign of remorse. He was deliberative, but ambitious. Even before the war had been won, he was designated the future chief of state, with full dictatorial powers. Everywhere he went, Nationalist posters proclaimed, UN ESTADO, UN PAIS, UN JEFE- &quot;One state, one country, one leader,&quot; an echo of the Nazi slogan &quot;''Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer''.&quot;
** [[Madeline Albright]], ''Fascism: A Warning'' (2018), p. 51-52

* I know this comparison will strike some as outrageous, and I’m NOT saying religion turns people into Nazis. But does anybody believe the ardent Nazi followers in Germany, or Mussolini’s faithful in Italy, or Franco’s legions in Spain were a bunch of atheists? Being “religious” does not automatically build a firewall against accepting totalitarianism, and when fundamentalist religions teach authoritarian submission, authoritarian aggression, and conventionalism, they help create the problem. Can we not see how easily religious fundamentalists would lift a would-be dictator aloft as part of a “great movement,” and give it their all?
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''The Authoritarians'' (2006), p. 140-141

* '''I agree with the [[Neville Chamberlain|prime minister]] that the condition of the world is serious, and that everyone who speaks on these subjects must speak with a full sense of responsibility, but that does not mean, in my view, that there should be a lack of plain speaking, but that we ought to see the facts for what they really are. I must say that I was profoundly disappointed with the speech of the prime minister, because it seemed to me that he had misconceived the whole issue that lives before us. He suggested that there was being fought in Spain, in the opinion of some people, a struggle between two sides, two rival systems. I do not think that is the issue that is facing us to-day. The world to-day is faced with a contest between two sides, and those two sides are whether the rule of law in international affairs shall prevail, or the [[fascism|rule of lawless force]]. That is the issue that faces us, and we must look at this Spanish struggle in its true perspective.'''
** [[Clement Attlee]], 25 June 1937, during the British Parliamentary debates on Spain. As quoted by John Cowans (Editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 194

== B ==

* In November 1937 Hitler met with leaders of the German army, navy, and air force. It had been two years since Germany had announced its rearmament. Since 1936 German forces had been involved in the Spanish Civil War on the side of General Francisco Franco and the enemies of the Spanish Republic. Hitler had pushed German intervention even though many Germans opposed it. Because the Soviet Union backed the Republic in Spain, support of Franco gave Hitler an opportunity to attack Communism. Moreover, Mussolini was actively behind Franco as well. So Spain offered a chance for Germany and Italy to practice cooperation in the spirit of their leaders' mutual admiration. For the Germans the Spanish Civil War was also an opportunity to try out new military equipment. In particular they broke in their new air force by bombing Spanish towns and cities. Now Hitler was ready to risk more.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 98-99

* In March 1939, just months after the Munich Conference granted Sudetenland to Germany, German troops entered the rest of Czechoslovakia. With the world distracted by Franco's recent victory in Spain, Hitler ordered the Czechoslovak state dismantled. Some territory was incorporated into the German Reich, and the old Czech lands of Bohemia and Moravia were organized as the Protectorate, a kind of colony. Slovakia became a client state under the government of the Roman Catholic priest Josef Tiso.
** Doris L. Bergen, ''War and Genocide: A Concise History of the Holocaust'' (2016), Third Edition, p. 107

* Those Americans who went to Spain to fight Franco and stave off World War II have never minded being called &quot;premature anti-fascists.&quot; They were proud of the label.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), Foreword to the 1954 reprint.

* We have long memories. We have developed a relative immunity to the endless barrage of propaganda, slander and outright lies that has been laid upon us. And especially, we are immune to the Big Lie that destroyed Spain and which Hitler developed to such a point of perfection that it was necessary for millions of human beings to die to achieve the defeat of the Axis. Yet the Big Lie survives and flourishes mightily in our own country today. As it is promulgated daily, hourly and every minute of the day through every medium of communication, so it must be answered- until our own people see it for what it is and explode it in their own good time.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), Foreword to the 1954 reprint.

: Whenever we hear it said that Communism threatens us from within and without; whenever we are told that the Soviet Union menaces our &quot;way of life&quot; and wants to conquer the world; whenever we are summoned to a Holy Crusade that- if it is allowed to begin- will ravish the entire earth, we recall the following simple facts of history:
:Mussolini killed whatever democracy existed in Italy by claiming that Italy was threatened by Communism;
:Hitler destroyed the German Republic with the same weapon;
:Tojo broke the resistance of the people of Japan by using the identical thesis;
:Franco murdered the Spanish Republic in the name of the &quot;Red menace&quot;;
:The Axis launched World War II under the slogan of saving the world from Communism.
:* [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), Foreword to the 1954 reprint.

* Here were students, dock-workers, clerks and labor-organizers, farmers. Most were unacquainted with each other, but they came together now with the warmth and familiarity of old friends; they told each other of their work in their respective countries; of their friends and families. They spoke of the European political scene, of the imperative necessity for the Loyalist Government to drive the foreign invader from Spain; you felt that with each of them, no matter how diverse his previous training, the Spanish struggle was a personal issue, something deep and close. This in itself, considering the disparity of their origin, was a major political phenomenon. They spoke no word of the actual business of war; they did not speculate on the nature of artillery or air attacks, of machine-gun fire. You felt: many of these men will never see their friends or families again; they don't know what they're getting into; their idealism has blinded them to the reality of what they will have to face. And you knew immediately that you were wrong; that they were so far from being blind that it might be said of them that they were among the first soldiers in the history of the world who really knew what they were about, what they were going to fight for- and that they were ready and eager to fight. Their very presence on the French frontier was an earnest of their understanding and their clarity; no one had made them come, no force but an inner force had brought them.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 13

* &quot;Bring us Franco's balls!&quot; the men shouted. &quot;'e ain't got no bloody balls,&quot; a voice replied.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 63

* &quot;You know what I got half a mind to do?&quot; the driver said. &quot;What?&quot; &quot;Head this damn junk for the border.&quot; &quot;Have a cigarette,&quot; I said. I wondered if he would head for the border and what I would do if he did, but he didn't. &quot;The detail's all fucked-up,&quot; he said. &quot;Where's the Lincoln? Where's the Macpap? The British? The Franco-Belge? Nobody's seen fuck-all of 'em. The bastards are driving to the sea,&quot; he said. &quot;Maybe they've got to Tortosa already; we'll find out. If France don't come in now, we're fucked ducks. ''Mucho malo,&quot;'' he said. ''&quot;Mucho'' fuckin ''malo.&quot;''
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 133

* Every town along the Mediterranean shore was empty and deserted. The road was jam-packed with peasants evacuating toward the north, on mule-back, in donkey-carts, afoot. They looked at us in the cab of the truck, moving against the stream they made, and they kept moving. Hundreds were camped along the roads; hundreds were plodding north toward Barcelona, their few possessions, mattresses, blankets, household utensils, domestic stock, on their backs, in wheelbarrows or on their ''burros''' backs. Little children were walking, holding onto their mother's skirts; women carried babies; older children were driving goats, sheep; old men were helping old women along the road; their faces were impassive, dark with the dust of the roads and fields, lined and worn. Their eyes alone were bright but there was no expression in their eyes. Looking at them you knew what they were thinking: 'Franco is coming; Franco is coming.'
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of Americans in Spain'' (1939), p. 134

* Then near-by Tarragona was bombed; the Spanish, British, and American nurses went about their work as the windowpanes rattled and the hideous drumming reverberated throughout the house. We all ran out onto the flagstone terrace to watch the black smoke rise over Terragona, and by morning of the next day the word had come that the Italian Fascist troops had reached the sea at Vinaroz, below Tortosa, cutting Loyalist Spain away from Catalonia, and all traffic had been cut between Barcelona and Valencia. (In Rome, the Pope gave his apostolic benediction to the sacred cause of General Franco.)
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 146

* We heard- a shithouse rumor?- that we dominated the heights surrounding Lerida and Balaguer (this was different); the newspapers reported that the offensive was gaining ground everywhere; the Non-Intervention Committee met again and issued another of its 'decisions.' This time it was decided once more to withdraw all foreign 'volunteers' from Spain, but England's perfidious hand could be seen as plain as day, for wasn't Mr. Chamberlain interested in concluding an agreement with Banjo-Eyes? And wasn't the 'withdrawal' contingent upon British and French concession of belligerent rights to Franco, which would tip the scales even farther in his favor by legalizing what already existed- the shipment of arms, munitions, planes and tanks and men into his territory?
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 170

* North's news of Europe was disheartening. Hitler had mobilized a million and a half men on the Czech and French borders, presumably for 'maneuvers'; probably for aggression against Czechoslovakia if the democracies, as they are euphemistically described, remained supine. Roosevelt and Hull had, it is true, made strong speeches against Fascist aggression within the week, and called for united democratic opposition, but when would the talking end and what good would it do? Franco, unlike the Spanish Loyalist Government, had given a categorical refusal to the Non-Intervention Committee's alleged plan for evacuation of foreign volunteers; he did worse, he said he would accept it in exchange for belligerent rights, immediately granted.
** [[Alvah Bessie]], ''Men in Battle: A Story of American in Spain'' (1939), p. 297

== C ==

* '''Our country is suffering a profound disturbance; it is not only an extremely cruel civil war that fills us with tribulation, but also a tremendous commotion that shakes the very connections of our society and has even endangered our existence as a nation...''' It is a fact, proved by extensive documentation, that the thinking of a large part of foreign opinion is out of touch with the reality of events in our country... Since God has willed that it should be our country that will serve as a place for testing the ideas and processes that aspire to conquer the world, we want the damage to be reduced to our country alone, saving the rest of the nations from ruin...&lt;br&gt;The war in Spain is the product of the conflict between irreconcilable ideologies; in its very origins one finds very grave questions of a moral and legal, of a religious and historical order...&lt;br&gt;When the war broke out, we lamented that painful fact more than anyone, because it is always an extremely serious evil... and because our mission is one of reconciliation and peace... '''The Church did not want and did not seek this war, and we do not consider it necessary to justify it against the charges of belligerence that foreign periodicals have leveled at the Church in Spain. It is true that thousands of her children, obeying the dictates of conscience and patriotism, and on their own personal responsibility, rose up in arms to save the principles of Christian religion and justice that have for centuries informed the life of the nation; but whoever accuses it of having provoked this war or of having conspired to start it, or even of not having done everything in its power to avoid it, ignores or falsifies reality...''' The Church has been the principal victim of the fury of one of the contending parties, and it has not ceased to work with its prayers, its exhortations, and its influence to lessen the damage and shorten the ordeal...
** Catholic Bishops in Spain, in a collective statement issued 1 July 1937 to clarify where the Church stood on the Spanish Civil War, essentially declaring support for the Nationalist side. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 198

* Let us now give a sketch of the character of the movement known as &quot;national.&quot; We believe this term is just. First, in its spirit. Because the immense majority of the Spanish nation was detached from a state that could not represent its profound needs and aspirations; and the movement was greeted with hope by all the nation... It is also national in its objectives... We express a reality and a general yearning of the Spanish citizens...&lt;br&gt;We have seen an outburst of real charity that has had its fullest expression in the blood of thousands of Spaniards who have cried out, &quot;Long live Spain!&quot; and &quot;Long live Christ the King!&quot; The movement has guaranteed order in the territory it controls. We contrast the situation in the regions where the national movement has prevailed with those still dominated by the communists... Without priests, without churches, without religion, without justice, without authority, they are prisoners of a terrible anarchy, of hunger, of misery. On the other hand, because of the effort and the terrible pain of war, the other regions live in tranquility of international order, under the tutelage of a true authority, which is the basis of justice, peace, and progress...
** Catholic Bishops in Spain, in a collective statement issued 1 July 1937 to clarify where the Church stood on the Spanish Civil War, essentially declaring support for the Nationalist side. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 201-202

* It is said that this war is a class war and that the Church has placed itself on the side of the rich. Those who know its causes and nature know this is not true. Even though the Church acknowledges some carelessness in the fulfillment of its duties of justice and charity, which it has been the first to urge, the working classes were already greatly protected by laws, and the nation had already entered on the path of a better distribution of wealth... Nor can we forget our advanced social legislation and our prosperous institutions of public and private assistance of Spanish and Christian origins. The people were fooled by unrealistic promises, incompatible not only with the country's economic life, but also with any kind of organized economy...&lt;br&gt;Crimes similar to those committed by the Popular Front have been attributed to the leaders of the national movement... Every war has its excesses, and the national movement has undoubtedly had its share as well. Nobody defends themselves with total serenity against the insane attacks of a heartless enemy. Condemning in the name of justice and Christian charity all excesses that may have been committed, by mistake or by low-level personnel, and which the foreign press has methodically exaggerated, we declare that the judgements we are refuting do not respond to the truth, and we affirm that there is an enormous distance between the principles and practice of justice on the two sides.
** Catholic Bishops in Spain, in a collective statement issued 1 July 1937 to clarify where the Church stood on the Spanish Civil War, essentially declaring support for the Nationalist side. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 202

* &quot;If you lose [a war,&quot; the great American novelist of the civil war, Ernest Hemingway, exclaimed in 1939, &quot;you lose everything and your ideology won't save you.&quot; The Lincoln volunteers- whom Hemingway disparaged as the &quot;ideology boys&quot;- clung to the opposite view. Although they &quot;lost the war,&quot; their last commander, Milton Wolff, insisted that &quot;neither the Spaniards nor the [international volunteers], nor anti-fascists of any mettle, lost their ideology, much less 'everything.'&quot; To Wolff, writing twenty years after Hemingway's suicide, it was precisely ideology that had &quot;saved us. And may yet save the world.&quot; Indeed, it was this spirit of commitment- an unyielding optimism in the face of defeat- that distinguished the Lincoln veterans. For them, Spain lived not as the landscape for a novel or as a place of metaphysical inspiration. &quot;Spain&quot;- the word, the country, the cause- embodied ideology and political passion, anguish and hope; the ordeal of Spain became the essential continuity of their lives. Anticipating this half-century's commitment, the poet Genevieve Taggard composed &quot;To the Veterans of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade&quot; in 1941: &lt;br&gt;'''Say of them,''' &lt;br&gt;'''They are no longer young, they never learned''' &lt;br&gt;'''The arts, the stealth of peace, this peace, the tricks of fear;''' &lt;br&gt;'''And what they knew, they know &lt;br&gt;And what they dared they dare.'''
** Peter N. Carroll, ''The Odyssey of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1994), p. 4-5

* The battle for Madrid commenced on a gray, misty morning, November 7, 1936. As a cavalry column of Moorish mercenaries, bolstered by the rhythm of heavy drumbeats, rode toward the Toledo bridge, a hastily organized group of young men and women fired from behind rough barricades at the advancing troops. Their antique pistols and hunting rifles scarcely interrupted the charge. But suddenly, a motorcyclist appeared with a machine gun and sent the horsemen into retreat. Italian tanks then forged ahead of Franco's professional legionnaires and mercenaries; and, after the fog had lifted, German Junkers rained bombs through the cloudy skies. Again and again, the unpracticed Republican militia, emboldened by individual heroics, met the attack valiantly, using small arms against the troops and sticks of dynamite against the tanks. The fascists made small progress that day. At dawn of the next day, as Madrid girded for a second ground assault, the city's frantic residents witnessed a remarkable parade down the broad Gran Via: a neat procession of nearly 2,000 soldiers, dressed in corduroy uniforms and steel helmets. Assuming the men were Soviet allies, the Madrilenos raised their fists in the Popular Front salute and shouted, &quot;Long live the Russians!&quot; Their error was understandable. Few citizens of Spain knew of the existence of the newly formed International Brigades, a contingent of foreign volunteers who had come to Spain to defend the Republic. These recruits had left their homes in Great Britain and France, Yugoslavia and Poland, Belgium and Austria; many were political refugees from fascist Italy and Germany. Despite scant military training, they exuded enthusiasm. And under the leadership of Soviet general Emil Kleber, a Hungarian Jew trained in the Soviet Union, they brought much more than a military presence to the Republican cause. These Internationals- ultimately they would number 40,000 troops from 52 countries- symbolized a political camaraderie that linked the Spanish civil war  to the titanic ideological conflicts of the 1930's: the struggles of fascism, communism, and democracy. In the days and weeks and months that followed, these volunteers would join the Spanish militia to face the fascist tide.
** Peter N. Carroll, ''The Odyssey of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1994), p. 11-12

* News of the creation of the International Brigades raced through the Communist grapevines around the globe: the very existence of a multinational army promised to fulfill the Marxist prophesy that one day the &quot;workers of the world&quot; would unite against their common oppressors. In every country, such optimism encouraged the enlistment of volunteers eager to fight in Spain. When the American Communist party spread the word about recruitment through a network of district organizers, the response was immediate. From the waterfront docks and the fur trades, from union halls and ethnic associations, from bread lines and Communist party cells, dozens of men came forward within weeks to join the fight for Republican Spain. Viewing themselves as part of an international proletariat, American radicals welcomed this opportunity to take the struggle against fascism to another stage of history: it was possible now, in Spain at least, to fight back with arms.
** Peter N. Carroll, ''The Odyssey of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1994), p. 12

* As word of recruitment for the International Brigades began to filter through the American Communist network in the autumn of 1936, large numbers of volunteers came forward to enlist. The party's organizing committee soon realized that its responsibility had shifted. Instead of having to locate a few trusted volunteers to send to Spain, they now had to worry about screening any undesirable elements from the diverse recruits who were offering their services. In this unique military crusade, symbolic of the unity of the international working classes, party leaders wanted to exclude mere adventurers who lacked a political understanding of the anti-fascist struggle. They also feared that government or enemy spies might attempt to subvert the project. The party insisted on secrecy, therefore, not because Communists harbored a devious conspiracy to overthrow a government- after all, they always boasted of their initiatives on behalf of the Spanish Republic- but because party members did not wish to be caught violating American recruitment laws. In any event, the leadership decided that each volunteer would have to be interviewed personally by a special committee.
** Peter N. Carroll, ''The Odyssey of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1994), p. 64

* In this Spanish situation there is one peculiar feature which gives it a specially dangerous aspect. That is to many people looking on from outside, it presents itself as a struggle between two rival systems each of which commands an enthusiastic, even a passionate, body of supporters among its adherents in their respective countries, with the result that supporters of these two rival systems cannot help regarding the issue of the struggle in Spain as a defeat or victory... for the side to which they are attached. I am not expressing an opinion as to whether that view of the struggle is correct or not, but I say that the fact that it is held constitutes a perpetual danger to the peace of Europe because, if some country or government representing one of these two ideas attempts to intervene beyond a certain point, then some other country taking the opposite view may find it difficult, if not impossible, to refrain from joining in, and a conflict may be started of which no man can see the end.
** [[Neville Chamberlain]], 25 June 1937, during the British Parliamentary debates on Spain. As quoted by John Cowans (Editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 192-193

* In my view, the best thing we can do now is to turn our minds back again to the two practical steps which have to be taken, the first one being to fill the gap in the patrol which has now been left open and the other to re-start our endeavours to obtain the withdrawal of foreign volunteers in Spain. That is all I have to say at present, and I want to conclude with a very earnest appeal to those who hold responsible positions both in this country and abroad- to weigh their words very carefully before they utter them on this matter, bearing in mind the consequences that might flow from some rash or thoughtless phrase. I have read that in the high mountains there are sometimes conditions to be found when the incautious move or even a sudden loud exclamation may start an avalanche. That is just the condition in which we are finding ourselves to-day. I believe, although the snow may be perilously poised it has not yet begun to move, and if we can all exercise caution, patience, and self-restraint we may yet be able to save the peace of Europe.
** [[Neville Chamberlain]], 25 June 1937, during the British Parliamentary debates on Spain. As quoted by John Cowans (Editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 194

* The Spanish Civil War and the fight against it did, in part, alert the world to the nature of fascism. The story of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade is generally known. It was a contingent of committed Black and White Americans, three thousand in number, who went to fight against fascism. Had the circumstances been different, some of the Black Americans would have been willing to fight in the Italian-Ethiopian War. Ethiopia was overrun in a matter of months, and there was no organized effort to get Black Americans to fight in this war. Those who were willing to go were left with their frustrations. To some of them fighting with the Abraham Lincoln Brigade in the war against fascism in Spain was an alternative.
** John Henrik Clarke, Foreword to ''Mississippi to Madrid: Memoir of a Black American in the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1989), p. xi

* When the Civil War began in July 1936, Hitler had been in power in Germany for over three years. The ideological affinities between the Nazis and Franco's Nationalists (sometimes referred to in German documents as &quot;White Spain,&quot; as opposed to &quot;Red Spain&quot;) were clear at once, but the German government, like Mussolini's Fascist government in Italy, was reluctant to risk recognizing Franco's side as the true government of Spain until it was confident it would win the war. It granted that recognition on November 18, 1936.&lt;br&gt;Throughout the war, Hitler often sought to assist Franco without attracting international attention, and indeed the German government was not alone in seeking involvement. France's Popular Front government, under the Socialist Leon Blum, had begun to offer the Republicans assistance, but Blum, concerned primarily about threats to French security from a militarily resurgent Germany, did not wish to anger its British ally, and when London made clear its opposition to helping the Spanish Republicans, France's government reversed its course. At that point, the French pushed for the creation of an international &quot;nonintervention&quot; agreement, which the Germans and Italians (among others) were willing to sign, but which they soon violated. Attempts to enforce the nonintervention pact soon turned out to be ineffective, but Hitler remained at least somewhat concerned with preserving the image of his country's adherence to the pact.
** Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 185

== D ==

* Then, as if things were not already bad, Japan invaded Manchuria, then the rest of China. Spain was in a terrible civil war- drawing every nation in Europe into that nightmare, to some degree- and this turned out to be the perfect proving ground for Hitler's air force. All of us pilots who understood history and could see the signs knew that another war was coming. We did not know when or where it would start, or, to be more precise, expand, but we knew that our nation, especially our air forces, would not be ready. When the war in Spain finished, everyone sat back and relaxed, acting like, &quot;This is it, the European problems are over,&quot; but I knew better. The Japanese were still doing their work in China, so we kind of went to sleep at the wheel, but Pearl Harbor changed all of that, I can tell you, and you know what happened. The entire military establishment was taken off guard, which I could not understand. Japan had been a constant threat to everyone, and they had blinders on the whole time.
** [[Jimmy Doolittle]], in a 1986 interview with Colin Heaton, as quoted in ''Above the Reich: Deadly Dogfights, Blistering Bombing Raids, and Other War Stories from the Greatest American Air Heroes of World War II, in Their Own Words'' (2021), p. 88-89

== E ==
== F ==
* The events in which we had participated at home had had a direct influence on our decision to go to Spain. We were trade unionists. We had worked with the unemployed and the poor. In many ways, we viewed the Spanish struggle as an extension of our fight against reaction at home. Most significantly, we wanted to focus the nation's attention on the growing threat of fascism, and the danger it posed to international peace. We were later to be called &quot;premature anti-fascists,&quot; and we accepted this title proudly, though it was not meant as a compliment by the State Department spokesman who first coined the term. After all, we had bucked the system- the U.S. government, even under Franklin Delano Roosevelt, had remained neutral in the various worldwide struggles against fascism, right up until the time World War II began. But in 1937 many people around the world did recognize the threat fascism brought to world peace, and it was our fervent hope that by aborting the fascist takeover in Spain, we might prevent a second world war.
** Harry Fisher, ''Comrades: Tales of a Brigadista in the Spanish Civil War'' (1998), p. xx

* '''We weren't going to win the war, that was clear by now. But there had been a purpose to our fight, and that was what had given us our strength. Otherwise, the war would have been an unending horror, a tragic waste of precious life. But Spain's struggle was a different kind of war- a people's fight for its democratic rights. I felt proud to have been part of the International volunteer army that had come to Spain to put an end to fascism.'''
** Harry Fisher, ''Comrades: Tales of a Brigadista in the Spanish Civil War'' (1998), p. 158

* Spaniards!&lt;br&gt;To all of you who feel holy love for Spain, to all of you who in the ranks of the army and the navy have sworn to serve the fatherland, to those of you who swore to defend it from its enemies with your lives, the nation calls you to defend it. The situation in Spain has been growing worse every day: anarchy reigns in most of the countryside and the towns; authorities named by the government preside over revolts, when they do not directly promote them. Pistols and machine guns are used to settle differences between groups of citizens, who murder each other treacherously and treasonously while the public powers do nothing to impose peace and justice.&lt;br&gt;Revolutionary strikes of all kinds paralyze the nation, ruining and destroying its sources of wealth and creating a situation of hunger that will throw working men into a state of desperation.&lt;br&gt;Artistic monuments and treasures are the object of the most frenzied attacks by revolutionary hordes obeying the commands they receive from foreign directors, who count on the complicity or negligence of governors and officials.&lt;br&gt;The most serious crimes are committed in the countryside while the forces of public order remain in their barracks, restrained by blind obedience to governors who intend to dishonor them. The army, the navy, and other military forces are the target of the lowest and most slanderous attacks by the very ones who should safeguard their prestige.
** [[Francisco Franco]] in his radio broadcast &quot;Manifesto of 18 July 1936&quot;, declaring his and his soldiers' reasons for revolt against the Spanish government in July 1936. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 177

* States of emergency and alarm only serve to muzzle the people and to keep Spain from knowing what is happening outside the gates of their towns and cities, as well as to jail supposed political adversaries. The constitution, constantly suspended and violated, has been completely eclipsed; there is neither equality before the law nor liberty, enchained by tyranny, nor fraternity, threatened by the tearing apart of the national territory... that the governing powers themselves are promoting, nor solidarity and defense of our borders, when in the heart of Spain people listen to foreign broadcasts preaching the destruction and division of our soil.&lt;br&gt;The judiciary, whose independence the constitution guarantees, also suffers persecutions that exhaust or neutralize it, and it is the target of withering attacks on its independence.&lt;br&gt;Electoral pacts made at the cost of the integrity of the very fatherland, together with assaults on civil governments and vaults [intended] to falsify their acts, created the mask of legality that rules over us. Nothing restrains the appetite for power...&lt;br&gt;In addition to the revolutionary and ignorant spirit of the masses deceived and exploited by Soviet agents, who hide the bloody reality of that regime that has sacrificed 25 million people for its existence, there is the maliciousness and negligence of authorities of all kinds, who, protected by an incompetent government, lack the authority and prestige to impose order and the rule of liberty and justice.
** [[Francisco Franco]] in his radio broadcast &quot;Manifesto of 18 July 1936&quot;, declaring his and his soldiers' reasons for revolt against the Spanish government in July 1936. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 178

* '''Can we consent to the shameful spectacle we are presenting to the world for one more day? Can we abandon Spain to the fatherland's enemies by cowardly and treasonous actions, surrendering it without a struggle and without resistance? No! The traitors may do so, but those of us who have sworn to defend it will not.''' We offer you justice and equality before the law. Peace and love among Spaniards. Liberty and fraternity free from libertinage and tyranny. Work for all. Social justice, carried out without rancor or violence, and an equitable and progressive distribution of wealth without destroying or endangering the Spanish economy. But first, a war without quarter against the exploiters of politics, against the deceivers of the honorable worker, and against the foreigners and would-be foreigners who, directly or indirectly, seek to destroy Spain. At this moment, it is Spain as a whole that is rising up and demanding peace, fraternity, and justice; in all of the regions, the army, the navy, and the forces of public order are rushing to defend the fatherland. The energy devoted to upholding order will match the magnitude of the resistance offered to it.&lt;br&gt;Our motives do not derive from the defense of a few illegitimate interests, nor from the desire to go backward along the path of history... Because the purity of our intentions prevents us from stifling those advances that represent an improvement in the political and social realm, and because the spirit of hatred and vengeance has no place in our hearts, we shall be able to salvage those legislative efforts which are compatible with the internal peace of Spain and its much-desired greatness, bringing about, for the first time in our country, the three-part order, ''Fraternity, liberty, and equality''. Spaniards: Long live Spain! Long live the honorable Spanish people!
** [[Francisco Franco]] in his radio broadcast &quot;Manifesto of 18 July 1936&quot;, declaring his and his soldiers' reasons for revolt against the Spanish government in July 1936. As quoted by Jon Cowans (editor) in ''Modern Spain: A Documentary History'' (2003). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, p. 178-179

* ''Aguirre miente. Nosotros hemos respetado Guernica, como respetamos todo lo español.''
** Aguirre is lying. We have respected Guernica, as we respect everything Spanish.
** [[Francisco Franco]] {{source}}

== G ==

* '''They gave up everything, their homes, their country, home and fortune- fathers, mothers, wives, brothers, sisters and children, and they came and told us: &quot;We are here, your cause, Spain's cause, is ours.''' It is the cause of all advanced and progressive mankind.&quot; Today they are going away. Many of them thousands of them, are staying here with the Spanish earth for their shroud, and all Spaniards remember them with the deepest feeling.
** Isidora Dolores Ibárruri Gómez, popularly known as &quot;La Pasionara&quot;, in a speech in Barcelona on 15 November 1938, as quoted by Hugh Thomas in ''The Spanish Civil War'' (1961), p. 558

* Comrades of the International Brigades! Political reasons, reasons of State, the welfare of that same cause for which you offered your blood with boundless generosity, are sending you back, some of you to your own countries and others to forced exile. You can go proudly. You are history. You are legend. You are the heroic example of democracy's solidarity and universality. We shall not forget you, and when the olive tree of peace puts forth its leaves again, mingled with the laurels of the Spanish Republic's victory- come back!
** Isidora Dolores Ibárruri Gómez, in a speech in Barcelona on 15 November 1938, as quoted by Hugh Thomas in ''The Spanish Civil War'' (1961), p. 558

== H ==

* Of course, I am against fascism with its spread of color prejudice and [[racism|race hatred]] and working class oppression. How could any sensible Negro be otherwise?
** [[Langston Hughes]], in ''Writers take sides; letters about the war in Spain from 418 American authors''by [[w:League of American Writers|League of American Writers]], 1938. Also quoted in Brian Dolinar, ''The Black cultural front : black writers and artists of the Depression generation.'' Jackson : University Press of Mississippi, 2012.

== I ==
== J ==
== K ==

* When the smouldering powder keg of south-west Europe finally exploded into life in July, 1936, and civil war broke out in Spain, a number of far more powerful and certainly much wealthier nations grasped at the unexpected opportunity to try out their latest military aircraft and other equipment under operational conditions, in the belief that invaluable battle experience with modern weapons would thus be gained. Had the Spanish people been left to fight out their quarrel among themselves much unnecessary bloodshed and distress would probably have been saved, with part of the small Spanish Air Force flying with the Government forces and part with the Revolutionary forces, but unfortunately both sides soon began to receive aid from foreign countries. The Communist Government armies were sent quantities of I-15 and I-16 fighters and some SB-2 bombers from Russia, as well as a continuous flow of new aircraft from France. However, following the example of Mussolini, Adolf Hitler decided to give active assistance to General Francisco Franco Bahamonde, the principle leader of the insurgents, and thousands of men and hundreds of tons of supplies were sent to Spain in the course of the next three years, including the Luftwaffe &quot;Volunteer&quot; Corps identified officially by its unit number of &quot;88&quot; and popularly known as the Legion Kondor.
** John Killen, ''A History of the Luftwaffe'' (1968), p. 67

* The Spanish Civil War, which had afforded such a fortuitous opportunity for the Luftwaffe to try out its strength under actual battle conditions, served just as useful a purpose for the Soviet Air Force, and soon awakened the Red aircraft industry to the plain fact that it was falling badly behind the times. The standard Russian fighters sent to Spain, mainly I-15 and I-153 biplanes and I-16 monoplanes, held their own against the Heinkel He 51s initially supplied to the Legion Kondor, but proved to be outclassed in every way by the Messerschmitt Bf 109s later sent against them. The Russian SB-2 aircraft, the so-called &quot;fast bombers&quot; needing no fighter escort, turned out to have all the disadvantages of the Dornier Do 17s in the same class with none of the advantages of the German machines, and for reconnaissance the Russians could provide nothing better than the archaic R-5 biplanes. No dive-bombing ground support aircraft comparable to the German Henschel Hs 123 or Junkers 87 were available. By 1939, the Russian aircraft designers were showing the world that the lessons of the Spanish Civil War had been heeded. Lavochkin was introducing the first of his highly-successful LA series of single-seater fighters, soon to be followed by the even more famous LAGG series; Petlyakov's twin-engine PE-2 was about to enter service, and subsequently become one of the outstanding medium bombers of the Second World War; and Ilyushin had just designed the Il-2 Sturmovik ground-support aircraft later to prove unequalled in its class anywhere in the world.
** John Killen, ''A History of the Luftwaffe'' (1968), p. 178

== L ==

* The Madrid victory parade took place on May 19. This time we formed the letters &quot;F-R-A-N-C-O,&quot; a still more difficult flying maneuver. We flew straight up the Castellana, high in the clear sky, while thousands of troops, tanks, and guns moved through the city. The enthusiasm was unsurpassed. A few months later I retired from the air force, but I remain in the reserve to this day. On October 19, 1939, Paz and I were married in Seville's magnificent cathedral. We now have six children, two girls and four boys, age eight to twenty-four. We had won the war, yet our troubles were not over by any means. A major work of reconstruction lay ahead for a ruined but vigorous and proud country. But a new World War was looming up menacingly and was to delay and hinder the steep uphill climb; also ahead lay the years of isolation by a hostile world. The years have flown and hate's sharp and bitter edge has been dulled and blunted by the healing balm of time. New generations have sprung up to fill the ranks where once stood veterans, united, shoulder to shoulder, to save Spain, our beloved country, from national death. Reconstruction has, in truth, flourished under the warm sun of social justice and twenty-five years of peace, our hard-won peace. The firm and steady hand of a great captain and patriot, in my view one of the greatest in Spain's long history, has held the tiller of the ship of state through fierce gales and in and out of sharp reefs, to steer it to a calm and prosperous anchorage. If the spirit, courage, and overwhelming national enthusiasm born on July 18, 1936, can be kept alive by present generations and kindled in succeeding ones Spain need have no fear from any internal foes nor from inveterate enemies beyond her frontiers.
** José Larios y Fernández de Villavicencio, ''Combat Over Spain'' (1966), p. 266-267

* I find it difficult to define my feelings when peace came at last. The immediate reaction was one of great joy, tremendous feeling of relief. I had survived the long-drawn-out struggle unscathed and was back again once more with the people I most loved, Paz and my family. I could not quite believe it. It seemed too good to be true, and I expected to wake up any morning and find myself back at the front on operations. Soon the anticlimax set in. I suddenly felt very tired; the prolonged physical and spiritual effort left me momentarily exhausted. I felt much older and, probably, wiser. I looked forward to a happy married life. But the future again loomed up uncertain, black, and foreboding; sparks were flying and Europe was about to burst into flames at any moment. And who could tell if we were to be forced into the conflict? No one at the time could predict. We were to suffer long years of uncertainty during the World War while Spain slowly but proudly recovered from her deep wounds, unaided and isolated. Our not being drawn into war (which would have completed Spain's ruin), was, as everyone knows now, entirely due to General Franco's inflexible firmness of purpose. Not even Hitler, at the height of his power, was able to sway him to his side or alter his determination to keep Spain out of it- a remarkable feat. From the conclusion of the Spanish Civil War to this day, much has happened and much good has come to this country. Her astounding and heroic effort has not gone unrewarded, as fifteen million tourists (in 1964) can testify.
** José Larios y Fernández de Villavicencio, ''Combat Over Spain'' (1966), p. 268-269

* Although many years have elapsed since the end of the Spanish Civil War, the world remains confused about the true causes that brought about that tremendous struggle. Most people have not taken the trouble to find out the whole truth. Many were thoroughly hoodwinked by efficient worldwide Communist propaganda. The fact that we were fighting communism on Spanish soil was considered a tall story and was put down to Fascist propaganda. Yet the facts and proofs were obvious for anyone with sound and unbiased judgment. History has a way of repeating itself. Since the Spanish Civil War, there have been several outstanding cases of armed international interventions which have exploded around the world in an attempt to forestall a Communist take over. Chief among these were Greece at the end of World War II, followed by Korea, Cuba, and Vietnam. All are similar and comparable in many aspects to the Nationalist uprising in Spain in 1936. If Spain- with its key position in the Mediterranean, astride two continents- had fallen beneath the hammer and sickle, I dread to think of what the future of Europe might have been. Spain's great sacrifice was not in vain.
** José Larios y Fernández de Villavicencio, ''Combat Over Spain'' (1966), p. 277-278

* From America, Marion watched the Spanish Republic fall, Franco seize total power, Hitler wage war against freedom throughout Europe, and, ultimately, America, England, France, and Russia fight as allies against Germany and Italy. She recollected sadly her admonition to the Rotary Club of Reno that Americans everywhere must take a stand against fascism in Spain or watch their sons die later in Germany. Marion noted the irony that America, France, and England finally did exactly what she and Bob Merriman and the Abraham Lincoln Battalion had done voluntarily- join internationally in a commitment to defeat fascism.
** Warren Lerude, in ''American Commander in Spain: Robert Hale Merriman and the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1986) by Marion Merriman and Warren Lerude, p. 235

== M ==

* The men of the Lincoln Brigade, the &quot;premature [[antifascists]],&quot; those who were physically able, volunteered early in our armed forces, gave their blood and their lives. On the roster of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade there are the names of 331 men who survived Spain to serve honorably in the U.S. Army or American medical services. This does not include those veterans who served in the Merchant Marine, many of whom were killed when their ships were attacked. These are the men and women I salute, my &quot;compadres,&quot; my dearest friends throughout these long years. Now, at the end of 1985, like Janus I can look back at the lessons of the past, to the heroes- and forward to a better world. There will always be fighters for freedom, men and women of the highest moral resolve.
** Marion Merriman, in ''American Commander in Spain: Robert Hale Merriman and the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1986) by Marion Merriman and Warren Lerude, p. xiii

* ''Último aviso: he decidido terminar rápidamente la guerra en el Norte de España. Quienes no sean autores de asesinatos y depongan las armas o se entreguen serán respetados en vidas y haciendas. Si vuestra sumisión no es inmediata arrasaré Vizcaya empezando por las industrias de guerra. Tengo medios sobrados para ello.''
** Last warning: I have decided to end the war in the North of Spain quickly. Those who have not committed murders and who lay down their arms or turn themselves in will see their lives and property respected. If your submission is not immediate, I will wipe out Vizcaya, beginning with the industries of war. I have more than enough means to do it.
** General [[w:Emilio Mola|Emilio Mola]] {{source}}

* ''Guernica fue Punto Hoy no es más que brasa cenizas Punto En este momento arde todavía pueblo tres horas bombardeo intensísimo bombas incendiarias lo han destrozado totalmente Punto Aldasoro, Torre, yo llegamos allí espantados Punto Diez mil mujeres niños huyen carreteras temiendo ser ametrallados por aviación mañana al amanecer como lo fueron esta tarde Punto Ante esta catástrofe con amenaza hecha hoy mismo destrozar incendiar Bilbao esta semana sólo suplicamos háganse cargo situación angustiosa''
** Guernica was Stop Today it is no more than embers ashes Stop In this moment town still burning three hours intense bombardment incendiary bombs have totally destroyed it Stop Aldasoro, Torre, I arrived there horrified Stop Ten thousand women children fleeing highways fearing being machine-gunned by aircraft tomorrow at dawn as they were this afternoon Stop Before this catastrophe with threat made just today to destroy burn Bilbao this week we entreat only take charge dreadful situation 
** Telesforo Monzón, telegram to the President of the Council of Ministers, 27 April 1937 {{source}}

== N ==
== O ==

*When one thinks of the cruelty, squalor, and futility of war - and in this particular case of the intrigues, the persecutions, the lies and the misunderstandings - there is always the temptation to say: &quot;One side is as bad as the other. I am neutral.&quot; In practice, however, one cannot be neutral, and there is hardly such a thing as a war in which it makes no difference who wins. Nearly always one side stands more or less for progress, the other more or less for reaction. The hatred which the Spanish Republic excited in millionaires, dukes, cardinals, play-boys, blimps, and what-not would in itself be enough to show one how the land lay. '''In essence it was a class war. If it had been won, the cause of the common people everywhere would have been strengthened. It was lost, and the dividend-drawers all over the world rubbed their hands. That was the real issue; all else was froth on its surface.'''
**[[George Orwell]], &quot;Looking on the Spanish War&quot; (1942)

*The outcome of the Spanish war was settled in London, Paris, Rome, Berlin - at any rate, not in Spain. 
**[[George Orwell]], &quot;Looking on the Spanish War&quot; (1942)

== P ==
== Q ==
== R ==

* The internationalization of the civil war through foreign aid, diplomacy and troops is indisputable, as is the fact that decisions made by foreign powers played an important role in the war's evolution. The two most important decisions affecting aid to the Republic were the Non-Intervention in Spain Agreement, signed by 27 European nations at the end of August 1936, and the Soviet decision in mid-September to assist the Republic. From the beginning of the war Britain declared neutrality and convinced the Popular Front French government to reverse its initial decision to aid its Spanish compatriots. France then suggested the non-intervention pact to prevent fascist support of the Nationalists. However, Germany and Italy, and to a lesser extent Portugal, continued to arm the Nationalists, while all the major democracies, including the United States, followed the pretense of non-intervention. The democracies' decision to abandon the Republic was a result of both domestic concerns and geo-strategic interests. Although their populations were deeply divided, none of the liberal democratic governments were comfortable with the Spanish left-leaning democracy of July 1936. They were even less so once news of the initial revolutionary experimentation and anti-clerical violence was reported, often by conservative Spanish diplomats in their countries who overwhelmingly defected to the rebel cause. Even so, the Nationalists' claim that they fought to save Spain from Bolshevism and for Christian civilization was much more compelling than anti-fascism in the mid-1930s. Thus, even after the Republican state could demonstrate that social revolution and anti-clerical violence had been contained, the democratic powers were more invested in appeasing Nazi Germany than in fighting fascism, a strategy that culminated in the Munich conference of September 1938.
** Pamela Beth Radcliff, ''Modern Spain: 1808 to the Present'' (2017), p. 196-197

* The military impact of foreign aid on the war's outcome continues to be debated, but the Republican cause was significantly undermined by both the low quality of material and the irregular timing of its arrival. The Republic was not poor, since it controlled the gold reserves, about a quarter of which were set to Paris early on and the rest to Moscow to pay for Soviet supplies. But most of the Soviet weapons and materiel were no match for the Nazi armaments that Hitler wanted to test before unleashing his own military ambitions. Because of the non-intervention pact, most of the rest of the materiel for the Republican side had to be purchased at high prices from private buyers. Finally, in terms of timing, the Republic was virtually starved of weapons at crucial points: during the summer of 1936 before the start of Soviet aid and from the end of 1938. Of the 66 shipments from the USSR, 52 arrived between October 1936 and the end of 1937. And, in contrast to more than 100,000 troops sent by Germany and Italy, the USSR sent only 2,000 advisers, in addition to the 31,000-32,000 volunteers of the International Brigades that were organized by the Communist International. The International Brigades have been attacked as Stalinist stooges and celebrated as heroic anti-fascists, with additional debates about their impact on the outcome of the war itself. Undoubtedly reflecting a variety of motives, the volunteers from over 50 countries probably played a positive role in several Republican battles, including the defense of Madrid, but overall, foreign troops contributed more to the Nationalist victory, especially if the Moroccan troops are included. In any case, the Brigades were sent home in September 1938, in hopes that the Nationalists would do the same with their larger contingent of foreign fighters. Instead, the departure of the Brigades marked the beginning of a precipitous slide toward final defeat.
** Pamela Beth Radcliff, ''Modern Spain: 1808 to the Present'' (2017), p. 197

* In addition to the Nationalists' effective internal unification, the foreign aid they received was certainly also a factor in their victory. Without foreign aid a rebel force with no access to government institutions or gold reserves would have had no chance of success. Although the Nationalist war effort was largely financed by loans, both sides spent about the same. However, the apparent parity of resources obscures the superiority of Germany and Italy's consistent and high-quality support of the Nationalist side, especially n the summer of 1936 and from mid-1937 until the end of the war, as the gap in aid continued to grow. From the use of German planes to airlift the Army of Africa to the mainland in July 1936, to the arrival of the Condor Legion air force in October of that year, followed by Italian troops in December, the fascist powers maintained their logistical aid until the end. The Condor Legion carried out perhaps the most notorious action of the war, the aerial bombing of the civilian population of Guernica on April 26, 1937, which killed at least 1,500 and came to symbolize the horrors of &quot;total&quot; war in Picasso's famous painting. The number of foreign fighters was definitely higher on the Nationalist side, including 19,000 Germans and over 78,000 Italians, in addition to the 70,000 native Moroccan ''Regulares''. While foreign aid was superior, there is also evidence that the Nationalists utilized that aid more effectively than their enemies, thus securing their rearguard and keeping their army loyal.
** Pamela Beth Radcliff, ''Modern Spain: 1808 to the Present'' (2017), p. 203

* The Republican defeat in the Civil War was followed by nearly forty years of dictatorship that ended only with the death of the man whose name came to define the regime. While the Franco regime began and ended as a dictatorship, its adaptive survival over four decades has generated ongoing debates about its identity. Was it a fascist regime, a military dictatorship, a traditional authoritarian regime, or some hybrid type? The regime began as a de facto ally of the fascist powers during the Second World War and ended as an ally of the democratic &quot;West&quot; in the Cold War. Evolving along with its international alliances was the regime's economic and cultural policies, which began with an isolationist autarky designed both to promote national self-sufficiency and to keep out impure foreign ideas, and ended with a booming tourist industry and economic integration into cultural pluralism. And, while the political institutions of the regime never underwent a parallel evolution, there was a shift in leadership away from fascist ideologues and toward more &quot;technocratic&quot; modernizers, whose primary goal was to increase at least passive support for the regime through higher standards of living rather than indoctrination and mass terror.
** Pamela Beth Radcliff, ''Modern Spain: 1808 to the Present'' (2017), p. 209

* In my evaluation, the role of the Communist party wasn't much of a factor. The party was just there, doing its job, and, as far as I could see, doing a good job. The squabbles about leadership, how the various high-level political commissars had done their jobs in Spain hadn't really touched me. I had heard of the arguments, especially about individual commissars on top, but there wasn't any direct connection with my life or work. The party's key role in the International Brigades somehow didn't make itself felt overtly, not, at least, in the medical service, certainly not at my level. I had joined the Spanish party somewhere along the line, but I don't remember attending any meetings. It was just something American party members and YCLers did. My membership card had a picture of me wearing my heavy, knitted, gray wool scarf, the one that so often had lice. But as I was assessing what had happened, the role of party was not a very important part of my thinking. It was just a given in my thoughts, a necessary part of the struggle against fascism.
** Hank Rubin, ''Spain's Cause Was Mine: A Memoir of an American Medic in the Spanish Civil War'' (1997), p. 146

* To what purpose had so many given their lives, had I offered mine? The war in Spain was nearly lost. In fact, in the short space of three and a half months, it would end. Under the circumstances, it was hard to believe that my comrades had not died in vain. Yet I also knew that the battle in Spain had been necessary and worthwhile, that the struggle for decency in the world would and must continue. If we had not defeated fascism, we had at least demonstrated a will to resist. I knew, too, that after taking a short time to draw a fresh breath, I would be a part of that movement, even if I could not conceive of what form my contribution might take. So why did I volunteer, why did I go? There is no easy answer. But one thing is clear. I have never regretted my decision. Quite the contrary! To support what I believed in, to combat forces that stood for everything I considered evil, to have put myself at risk for something other than myself, was, and is, a source of great personal pride. That it was an instantaneous decision was consonant with many of the major decisions later in my life- buying homes, making investments, deciding to get married- all rarely burdened by the regret of hindsight. I knew that the civilian life I would return to would not be serene, but I was committed to a struggle for a better world. &quot;Antifascist&quot; and &quot;prodemocracy&quot; had become the words that I felt defined me. If I left one battlefield, I would find another one on which to fight for a better world. In a real sense, for me the fight in Spain had been more than a fight to save only Spain. I came to see it, as much as anything, as a fight against fascism and a struggle for greater democracy in our own country.
** Hank Rubin, ''Spain's Cause Was Mine: A Memoir of an American Medic in the Spanish Civil War'' (1997), p. 146-147

* We were pariahs to our government. When Brigaders volunteered for the armed forces in World War II, the official army line, at first, was that we were not to be sent outside of the continental limits, so that we would not have contact with European communists. This ruling was later successfully challenged. Even so, most of us were sent to the Pacific combat zone. But despite all of the government's fears about our politics, some of the Brigaders, because of their experience and skills, were needed for the war effort. Some, therefore, were sent across the Atlantic to assignments behind the German and Italian lines to work with the various resistance forces, which, ironically, were often communist or communist-led. More than six hundred American vets served in World War II, in addition to another three hundred more in the merchant marine. In all, about twenty-five Spanish vets gave their lives for their country in World War II. Many were decorated for bravery. Between sixty and seventy, including myself, were commissioned as officers. As a side note, many Spaniards-in-exile volunteered to fight with the French, and when the tanks of the Free French entered Paris for its liberation from the Germans, many were manned by Spanish personnel, and three tank turrets carried the names of Spanish battles- Madrid, Teruel, or Jarama- painted on their sides.
** Hank Rubin, ''Spain's Cause Was Mine: A Memoir of an American Medic in the Spanish Civil War'' (1997), p. 152-153

== S ==
== T ==

* A Nationalist victory in the Civil War in Spain would mean that France would be surrounded on three sides by potentially hostile countries. This would make it easier for Germany to attack Russia without being afraid of French attacks in her rear. For this torturous reason, the Soviet Government had a strong interest in the prevention of a Nationalist victory. The Spanish War also afforded the Communist Party, with its discipline, its skill at propaganda, and its prestige deriving from its connection with Russia, a great chance to secure in Spain the establishment of the second Communist State. But such a Communist victory wold have alarmed Britain and France, the two powers to whom, for diplomatic reasons, Russia wished to draw closer. It might even make a general war more likely. It might waste Russian war material. For these reasons, Stalin probably did not send orders to the Spanish Communist party, and his chief agents there, Cordovilla and Stepanov, to make full use of the opportunity to gain control of the Spanish Republic. Nor did he send arms to Spain.
** Hugh Thomas, ''The Spanish Civil War'' (1961), p. 215

* The Spanish Civil War exceeded in ferocity most wars between nations. Yet the losses were less than had been generally feared. The total number of deaths caused by the war appears to have been approximately 600,000. Of these about 100,000 may be supposed to have died by murder or summary execution. Perhaps as many as 220,000 died of disease or malnutrition directly attributable to the war. About 320,000 probably died in action. The cost of the war, including both internal and external expenditures, was named later by the Nationalists at 30,000 million pesetas (£3,000 million in 1938 money). The chief cost was in labour, due on the one hand to the deaths and permanent disabilities caused, and on the other to the exile of 340,000 persons at the end of the war. Nationalist authorities estimated that approximately 4,250 million pesetas' worth of damage had been done to real property during the course of the war. Since this was supposed to be damage caused only by the Republicans, it is probably an under-estimation. 150 churches were totally destroyed and 4,850 damaged, of which 1,850 were more than half destroyed. 183 towns were so badly damaged that General Franco 'adopted' them- his Government, that is, undertook to pay the cost of restoration. This probably does not take into account another 250,000 which were partially damaged.
** Hugh Thomas, ''The Spanish Civil War'' (1961), p. 606

== U ==
== V ==
== W ==
== X ==
== Y ==

* In July of 1936 General Francisco Franco led a revolt against the democratically elected government of Spain. Under his command was a well-trained army of mercenaries from Morocco. Italy's Benito Mussolini kept his pledge to Franco by sending one hundred thousand soldiers directly to Spain from the war in Ethiopia. From Germany Adolph Hitler sent artillery, technicians, a large air force and twenty-five thousand tanks. Meanwhile, the Portuguese government dispatched two divisions of soldiers to aid Franco. These events in Spain stunned and shocked the conscience of people throughout Europe and the world. The government of Spain, in its effort to withstand the attack of the fascist armies, appealed to the democratic governments of the world for their support. Instead of sending help, the governments of England, France and the United States placed an embargo on arms to Spain. Nevertheless, freedom-loving people from around the world answered Spain's call for help. Within a few months thousands of men and women from many countries flocked to Spain with the hope of stopping fascism. An estimated forty thousand volunteers served in the International Brigades. Of the three thousand from the United States, almost one hundred were Black. The number of people who fought in the International Brigades was only a small speck when measured against the thousands of Spaniards who fought in the Republican army. However, the role played by the internationals was very significant in preventing Franco from achieving the quick victory that he expected when his forces attacked Madrid. Madrid held out for three long years. The war ended in Spain by March, 1939. Poland was invaded by Hitler's Nazi army the following September, thus signalling the start of World War II.
** James Yates, ''Mississippi to Madrid: Memoir of a Black American in the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1989), p. xiii-xiv

* I was just beginning to learn about the reality of Spain and Europe, but I knew what was at stake. There the poor, the peasants, the workers and the unions, the socialists and the communists, together had won an election against the big landowners, the monarchy and the right-wingers in the military. It was the kind of victory that would have brought Black people to the top levels of government if such an election had been won in the USA. A Black man would be Governor of Mississippi. The new government in Spain was dividing its wealth with the peasants. Unions were organizing in each factory and social services were being introduced. Spain was the perfect example for the world I dreamed of. Now all of it was about to be wiped out. The former rulers were determined to retake power. They were being supported by fascists all over the world, including, I was sure, many in the United States. How could I not volunteer?
** James Yates, ''Mississippi to Madrid: Memoir of a Black American in the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1989), p. 96

* The capitalist newspapers painted the war as if we were losing. Several times they had eagerly reported that Madrid had fallen to Generalissimo Franco and Mussolini's troops, when it hadn't. They were aware that a quick fascist victory would obscure the one-sided nature of the embargo. While men, war materials and even medical supplies were being denied the Republicans, French and English capitalists were not only lending the fascists moral support, but supplying them with guns, planes and tanks. The fascists, including Hitler's Germany, received oil from the United States, and in particular from the large oil companies. Without that support they could not maintain their huge war machines. I didn't believe the newspapers. I knew from the experience of our march to Springfield just how falsely events were reported. Madrid would not fall. Republican Spain would not fall. We would go on to create other Republican states throughout the world. Perhaps even in Mississippi!
** James Yates, ''Mississippi to Madrid: Memoir of a Black American in the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1989), p. 110

* Albacete by early 1937 had become a United Nations of a special kind. Men and women of all different tongues and nationalities, young and old, all came together to fight side by side with the Spanish people. The Spaniards were not only fighting to save themselves and their country from fascism but Europe and the whole world from plunging into the horror of war.
** James Yates, ''Mississippi to Madrid: Memoir of a Black American in the Abraham Lincoln Brigade'' (1989), p. 123

== Z ==

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

[[Category:Spanish Civil War| ]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Meaghan Martin</title>
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      <text bytes="1539" xml:space="preserve">[[File:MeaghanJetteMartinApr09.jpg|thumb|Meaghan Martin in 2009]]

'''[[w:Meaghan Martin|Meaghan Jette Martin]]''' (February 17, 1992 –) is an American actress and singer.
== Quotes ==
*  If you were there behind every family's closed doors, everyone's a little wacko. Chances are that your family is no weirder than the next family, or than the other girl at school's family. Everyone can be quirky at times, and I embrace that, personally.
** [https://www.seventeen.com/celebrity/movies-tv/reviews/a5306/meaghan-martin-talks-camp-rock-2/ Seventeen Chats With Meaghan Martin From 10 Things I Hate About You!] (July 27, 2009)

* The better you know your character, the more naturally it comes. But at the same time I don’t know that I ever want it to be easy, because the minute it gets easy I think I get too comfortable. And so I always am trying to search for what I can do to make my performance better
** [https://www.fanbolt.com/5659/interview-meaghan-martin-and-nick-braun-from-abc-familys-10-things-i-hate-about-you/ Interview: Meaghan Martin and Nick Braun from ABC Family’s ’10 Things I Hate About You’] (March 26, 2010)
== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat|Meaghan Jette Martin}}

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[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Guitarists from the United States]]
[[Category:Pianists from the United States]]
[[Category:1992 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Nevada]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Last lines in animated films</title>
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      <comment>/* Care Bears film series */</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="85707" xml:space="preserve">== Animated films ==

* I'm not sure, exactly. But this world is ours now. It's what we make of it.
** Who: 9
** Source: ''[[9 (2009 animated film)|9]]'' (2009)

* Stop attacking me! Why do you always have to attack me now?! Sit, stay, sit!
** Who: King Llort
** Source: ''[[A Troll in Central Park]]'' (1994)

* No laughing. I’m serious.
** Who: Nai Nai
** Source: ''[[Abominable (2019 film)|Abominable]]'' (2019)

* Man, I'm getting out of here.
** Who: [[w:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]]
** Source: ''[[The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad]]'' (1949)

* Bye-bye!
** Who: Rocky
** Source: ''[[The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle]]'' (2000)

* He'll be back.
** Who: Charlie B. Barkin
** Source: ''[[All Dogs Go to Heaven]]'' (1989)

* Hey, guys! I worked a little magic.
** Who: David
** Source: ''[[All Dogs Go to Heaven 2]]'' (1996)

* Buh-bye!
** Who: Fievel and Tanya Mousekewitz
** Source: ''[[An American Tail]]'' (1986)

* I think one day you'll find... that you're the hero you've been lookin'for.
** Who: Wylie
** Source: ''[[An American Tail: Fievel Goes West]]'' (1991)

* Huh? Wow!
** Who: Fievel Mousekewitz
** Source: ''[[An American Tail: The Treasure of Manhattan Island]]'' (1998)

* Sweet dreams, my little Fievel. Sweet dreams.
** Who: Mama Mousekewitz
** Source: ''[[An American Tail: The Mystery of the Night Monster]]'' (1999)

* So long, everybody.
** Who: Bartok
** Source: ''[[Anastasia (1997 film)|Anastasia]]'' (1997)

* To the animals, it now seemed that their world, which may or may not some day become a happy place to live in, was worse than ever for ordinary creatures, and another moment had come when they must do something about it...
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Animal Farm (1954 film)|Animal Farm]]'' (1954)

* There you have it. Your average 'boy-meets-girl, boy-likes-girl, boy-changes-underlying-social-order' story. So, what else can I tell you? We rebuilt the colony - it's even better than before, you know, 'cause now it has a very large indoor swimming pool. Bala and I, incidentally, are thinking of starting a family. You know, just a few kids, maybe a million or two to begin with. And I'm, I'm workin' with a new therapist, you know, terrific, absolutely terrific. He's, he's been putting me in touch with my inner maggot, which is helping me a great deal. And, you know, I finally feel like I've found my place. And you know what? It's right back where I started. But the difference is, this time I chose it.
** Who: Z
** Source: ''[[Antz]]'' (1998)

* Wait a minute. I'm the leader. I'll say when it's the end. It's the end.
** Who: Napoleon
** Source: ''[[The Aristocats]]'' (1970)

* So long, folks.
** Who: Bartok
** Source: ''[[Bartok the Magnificent]]'' (1999)

* I am.
** Who: Andrea Beaumont
** Source: ''[[Batman: Mask of the Phantasm]]'' (1993)

* Tool.
** Who: Butt-head
** Source: ''[[Beavis and Butt-head Do America]]'' (1996)

* Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office.
** Who: Barry Benson
* (post-credits:) I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
** Who: Barry Benson
** Source: ''[[Bee Movie]]'' (2007)

* We didn't set out to be superheroes... But sometimes, life doesn't go the way you planned. The good thing is, my brother wanted to help a lot of people, and that's what we're gonna do. Who are we?
** Who: Hiro Hamada
* (post-credits:) We have a lot to talk about.
** Who: Fred's Dad
** Source: ''[[Big Hero 6]]'' (2014) 

* Nope. I've never seen him before in my life.
** Who: A pigeon
** Source: ''[[Bolt (2008 film)|Bolt]]'' (2008)

* Yep.
** Who: Doli
** Source: ''[[The Black Cauldron (film)|The Black Cauldron]]'' (1985)

* Bye!
** Who: Steve and Blue
** Source: ''[[Blue's Big Musical Movie]]'' (2000)

* Yay! They're staying! Let's do this....
** Who: Scoop
** Source: ''[[Bob The Builder: Mega Machines The Movie]]'' (2017)

* Hi there, baby sister.
** Who: Timothy's daughter
* (mid-credits:) Okay.
** Who: Mrs. Templeton
* (post-credits:) Wake up, little halflings. It's time to leave. Go and live your peasant lives. BE GONE WITH YOU!
** Who: Wizzie
** Source: ''[[The Boss Baby]]'' (2017)

* There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own, but I know better. Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.
** Who: Merida
* (post-credits:) Delivery! Sign here, sign here! Come on, birdbrain! Haven't got all day!
** Who: The Crow
** Source: ''[[Brave (2012 film)|Brave]]'' (2012)

* My brother Kenai went on to live with Koda and the other bears. He taught me that love is very powerful. And I passed on the wisdom of his story to our people. The story of a boy who became a man...by becoming a bear.
** Who: Old Denahi
* (post-credits) Cut, cut. Ooh.
** Who: Koda
** Source: ''[[Brother Bear]]'' (2003)

* Present stalks! Harvester, salute!
** Who: Thorny
* (in-credits:) Spinning a web of safety in less in 15... Ow!
** Who: P.T.
** Source: ''[[A Bug's Life]]'' (1998)

* TRA-LA-LAAAAAAAA!!!
** Who: Captain Underpants/Mr. Krupp
* (in-credits:) NO!
** Who: Secretary
** Source: ''[[Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie]]'' (2017)

* Get a picture, boys. These kids will be making history!
** Who: L.B. Mammoth
* Hmph!
** Who: Darla Dimple
** Source: ''[[Cats Don't Dance]]'' (1997)

* Wilbur never forgot Charlotte. Although he loved her children and grandchildren dearly, none of the new spiders ever quite took her place in his heart. She was in a class by herself. It's not often that someone comes along who's a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Charlotte's Web (1973 film)|Charlotte's Web]]'' (1973)

*Oh, Ace!
**Who: Movie Abby
**Source: ''[[Chicken Little (2005 film)|Chicken Little]]'' (2005)

* Hang on. Let's go over this again?
** Who: Fetcher
* (in-credits:) I don't know.
** Who: Nick
** Source: ''[[Chicken Run]]'' (2000)

* ALVINNNN!
** Who: Dave Seville
** Source: ''[[The Chipmunk Adventure]]'' (1987)

* Coco!
** Who: Héctor
** Source: ''[[Coco (2017 film)|Coco]]'' (2017)

* Well, so long, glamor boy!
** Who: Jim Crow
** Source: ''[[Dumbo]]'' (1941)

* I'm so proud of you guys.
** Who: Kronk
** Source: ''[[The Emperor's New Groove]]'' (2000)

* Oh, how cute.
** Who: Yzma
** Source: ''[[Kronk's New Groove]]'' (2005)

* To kindness and love, the things we need most!
** Who: [[w:The Grinch|The Grinch]]
** Source: ''[[The Grinch (film)|Dr. Seuss' The Grinch]]'' (2018)

* Well, come on, Baggy buddy! Let's get back to where we belong. And get with the beat!
** Who: Baloo
** Source: ''[[The Jungle Book (1967 film)|The Jungle Book]]'' (1967)

* Yeah, man!
** Who: Baloo
** Source: ''[[The Jungle Book 2]]'' (2003)

* And so, all ended well for both Horton and Whos. And for all in the jungle, even Kangaroos. So let that be a lesson to one and to all. A person's a person. No matter how small.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Horton Hears a Who! (film)|Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!]]'' (2008)

* You done good, Beanpole. You done good. By the way, nice mustache.
** Who: [[w:The Lorax|The Lorax]]
** Source: ''[[The Lorax (film)|Dr. Seuss' The Lorax]]'' (2012)

* Somebody! Stop those pants!
** Who: Scrooge McDuck
** Source: ''[[DuckTales|DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp]]'' (1990)

* Aw, shit cunt!
** Who: Spanky Ham
** Source: ''[[The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie!]]'' (2010)

* Go fish.
** Who: Smiler
** Source: ''[[The Emoji Movie]]'' (2017)

* Everyone together...
* La Familia Madrigal!
** Who: Abuela Alma Madrigal
** Who 2: The Madrigals
** Source: ''[[Encanto (film)|Encanto]]'' (2021)

* Mmm... that was a good toast.
** Who: Ash
** Source: ''[[Fantastic Mr. Fox (film)|Fantastic Mr. Fox]]'' (2009)

* Yeah, forever.
** Who: Copper
** Source: ''[[The Fox and the Hound]]'' (1981)

* Yeah. Well, good night, Willie. Don't slam the roof. You might wake Mr. Bergen.
** Who: Mortimer
** Source: ''[[Fun and Fancy Free]]'' (1947)

* Enchante, Madamoiselle!
** Who: Goofy
** Source: ''[[A Goofy Movie]]'' (1995)

* You know, somehow I knew you would. Ah-yuck!
** Who: Goofy
** Source: ''[[An Extremely Goofy Movie]]'' (2000)

* Arlo!
** Who: Momma Ida
** Source: ''[[The Good Dinosaur]]'' (2015)

* From that time on, Basil and I were a close team, and over the years we had many cases together. But I shall always look back on that first with the most fondness: My introduction to Basil of Baker Street: ''The Great Mouse Detective.''
** Who: Dawson
** Source: ''[[The Great Mouse Detective]]'' (1986)

* Yeah, things are looking up around here now.
** Who: Pokey
** Source: ''[[Gumby: The Movie]]'' (1995)

* That's Phil's boy!
** Who: The Strong Man
* (post-credits:) What d'ya say? It's happy ending time! Everybody's got a little taste of something, but me! I got nothin'! I'm, I'm here with nothin'! Anybody listenin'? It's like I'm... What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what, hyperspace? Hello, it's me! Nobody listens.
** Who: Hades
** Source: ''[[Hercules (1997 film)|Hercules]]'' (1997)

* Show's over, Eugene.
** Who: Gerald Johanssen
** Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!: The Movie]]'' (2002)

* Everybody smile.
** Who: Lucy Tucci
** Source: ''[[Home (2015 film)|Home]]'' (2015) 

* Don't you ever migrate?
** Who: Laverne
* (post-credits:) Good night, everybody! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
** Who: Hugo
** Source: ''[[The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996 film)|The Hunchback of Notre Dame]]'' (1996)

* And I love Quasimodo!!
** Who: Madellaine
** Source: ''[[The Hunchback of Notre Dame II]]'' (2002)

* We've been through a lot lately, that's for sure. But we still love our girl. She has great new friends, a great new house. Things couldn't be better. After all, Riley's twelve now. What could happen?
** Who: Joy
* (in-credits:) No! Not this again!
** Who: Bus Driver's Emotions
** Source: ''[[Inside Out (2015 film)|Inside Out]]'' (2015)

* See you later.
** Who: Hogarth Hughes
** Source: ''[[The Iron Giant]]'' (1999)

* I take it back.
** Who: Jane
** Source: ''[[Is It College Yet?]]'' (2002)

* Oh!
** Who: Helen
** Source: ''[[Is It Fall Yet?]]'' (2000)

* And that is exactly what you had just seen.
** Who: Old Man
** Source: ''[[James and the Giant Peach]]'' (1996)

* Ah, the fucking autopilot's broke!
** Who: Jay
** Source: ''[[Jay &amp; Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie]]'' (2013)

* Onward, Mr Wiggles. We reach the cafeteria by dawn. Waaaaah!
** Who: Ms. Winifred Fowl
** Source: ''[[Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (film)|Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2001)

* Listen to them, Soren. They want more stories. Well, come on, you lot. Let's not disappoint them. Ah. There's a good storm brewing. And if we're lucky, I'll be chock full of baggywrinkles.
** Who: Ezylryb
** Source: ''[[Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole]]'' (2010)

* Never too big. You will always be my Little Bear.
** Who: Mother Bear
** Source: ''[[The Little Bear Movie]]'' (2001)

* That does it, Charlie Brown! He is your dog, and you're welcome to him.
** Who: Lucy Van Pelt
** Source: ''[[Snoopy, Come Home]]'' (1972)

* Let's go, bulls!
** Who: [[w:Bill Murray|Bill Murray]]
* (post-credits:) Can l go home now?
** Who: [[w:Michael Jordan|Michael Jordan]]
** Source: ''[[Space Jam]]'' (1996)

* Th-th-th-that's all, folks!
** Who: [[w:Porky Pig|Porky Pig]]
** Source: ''[[Space Jam: A New Legacy]]'' (2021)

* Nice work. See you tomorrow!
** Who: Director
* Go home, folks.
** Who: [[w:Porky Pig|Porky Pig]]
** Source: ''[[Looney Tunes: Back in Action]]'' (2003)

* WILMA!
** Who: [[w:Fred Flintstone|Fred Flintstone]]
** Source: ''[[The Man Called Flintstone]]'' (1966)

* In the state of Texas, USA, life still goes on in the same old way. The Pecos River still flows on, but the greatest cowboy on earth is gone. Yeah, Bill went back to the coyotes, but he never forgot Sue. Every night when the moon was high, he'd lift his voice in a mournful cry, bewailing the fate of his lady fair, his long-lost love in the sky up there. So painful was his grief to see, the varmints joined in out of sympathy. That's how come, to this very day, coyotes howl at the moon that way.
** Who: Roy Rogers
** Source: ''[[Melody Time]]'' (1948)

* Bravo, my friends! Our three heroes have finally made their dream come true. I think this calls for one more song!
** Who: Troubadour
** Source: ''[[Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers]]'' (2004)

* Gee, thanks for letting us share our Christmas spirit with you. [laughs] Merry Christmas, everybody!
** Who: Mickey Mouse
** Source: ''[[w:Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed in the House of Mouse|Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed in at the House of Mouse]]'' (2001)

* Aw, phooey!
** Who: Donald Duck
** Source: ''[[Mickey's House of Villains]]'' (2002)

* So in the end, love is the reason that Christmas is more than a gift-giving season. It's a time with our loved ones to show that we care, When families and neighbors come together to share. So, this Christmas season, let us all do our parts To keep Christmas spirit alive in our hearts.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: '' ''[[Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas]]'' (1999)

* So, at last, Mickey learned what he'd missed from the start. Bells and holly mean little without friends in your heart. The magic of Christmas has its rhyme and its reason. We hope you and yours have a most joyous season.
** Who: Narrator
* Ho ho ho!
** Who: Santa Claus
** Source: '' ''[[Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas]]'' (2004)

* Welcome home!
** Who: A villager
* (post-credits:) Didn't help me though, did it? Still upside down here. Just need a little push. Can we be real? If my name was Sebastian and I had a cool Jamacian accent, you'd totally help me. You would. You know you would.
** Who: Tamatoa 
** Source: ''[[Moana (2016 film)|Moana]]'' (2016)
** Note: He is last seen after the credits, where he is still trapped and struggling to get off his shell, but to no avail. He asks the audience for assistance, and sarcastically quips that if his name was &quot;Sebastian&quot; and he had a Jamaican accent, the audience would feel happy to help him out (the reference to the supporting character of the same name from Disney's [[w:The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]). It is unknown if he ever got back up or if he starved.

* Wait, wait, wait, wa-wa-wait?! You were dating Derek, too?! That two-timing jerk!
** Who: B.O.B.
* (mid-credits:) Time to wave the white flag and head for the bunker, boys. Let's check the situation in 500 years! Who wants to freeze my head?
** Who: President Hathaway
** Source: ''[[Monsters vs. Aliens]]'' (2009)

* Mushu!
** Who: Great Ancestor
** Source: ''[[Mulan (1998 film)|Mulan]]'' (1998)

* Does a hero dragon deserve anything less? Draw my bath! Warm my towels! Let the pampering begin!
** Who: Mushu
** Source: ''[[Mulan II]]'' (2004)

* Okay! That is the most awesome name ever!
** Who: Pinkie Pie
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: The Movie (2017 film)|My Little Pony: The Movie]]'' (2017)

* I can't think of anything better.
** Who: Madison
** Source: ''My Scene Goes Hollywood: The Movie'' (2005)

* And the moral of our story is...
** Who: Yakko Warner
** Source: ''Wakko's Wish'' (1999)

* What a delightful scoundrel.
** Who: Winston
** Source: ''[[Oliver &amp; Company]]'' (1988)

* Whoa-ho, yeah-ha!
** Who: Barley Lightfoot
** Source: ''[[Onward (film)|Onward]]'' (2020)

* Left foot, right foot... Ah, who needs feet when you got fins! Whoo-hoo!
** Who: Tanglefoot
** Source: ''[[Ooops! Noah Is Gone...]]'' (2015)

* Oh, well. Out with the old, in with the new, huh?
** Who: Frank Detorre
** Source: ''[[Osmosis Jones]]'' (2001)

* There's a secret between you and me, Baby.
** Who: Higgins
** Source: ''[[The Outback (2012 film)|The Outback]]'' (2012)

* Shoot!
** Who: RJ
** Source: ''[[Over the Hedge]]'' (2006)

* And Liberty!
** Who: Liberty
** Source: ''[[PAW Patrol: The Movie]]'' (2021)

* Wait, wait, wait!
** Who: Phineas Flynn
** Source: ''[[Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension]]'' (2011)

* Well, I'll be! Ho-ho-ho! My, my! Solid gold, too. Oh, I think it's swell.
** Who: Jiminy Cricket
** Source: ''[[Pinocchio (1940 film)|Pinocchio]]'' (1940)

* Godspeed, John.
** Who: Thomas
** Source: ''[[Pocahontas (1995 film)|Pocahontas]]'' (1995)

* At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell. But as years passed, it felt silent for all of them. Even Sarah found, one Christmas, that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me. As it does for all who truly believe.
** Who: Adult Hero Boy
** Source: ''[[The Polar Express]]'' (2004)

* Sure!
** Who: Evie and Tori
** Source: ''PollyWorld'' (2006)

* Sugar, spice, and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl. But, Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction. Chemical X. Thus, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup were born. Using their ultra-super powers, they've dedicated their lives to fighting crime, and the forces of evil. And so for the very first time the day is saved thanks to... the Powerpuff Girls! Hey, that's a good name for them! Powerpuff Girls! Yeah! I like that! Wonder if ''they will?'' I'll run it by them. Powerpuff Girls! Mmm-hmm.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls Movie]]'' (2002)

* Well, I waited this long.
** Who: Charlotte LaBouff
** Source: ''[[The Princess and the Frog]]'' (2009)

* Yeah!
** Who: Background character
* (mid-credits 1) And gullible. I forgot to mention gullible.
** Who: [[w:Lucy|Lucy]]
* (mid-credits 2) A round of root beer for our hero the Flying Ace.
** Who: [[w:Marcie|Marcie]]
** Source: ''[[The Peanuts Movie]]'' (2015)

* Well done, Ayden.
** Who: Merlin
** Source: ''[[Quest for Camelot]]'' (1998)

* (theatrical version:) Rango!
** Who: The Mariachi Owls
* (extended version:) My fellow comrades. There will be times when you doubt yourself. When you feel pummeled by the catalclysms of life, remember this moment. Remember me. Know that I will be there, watching you... sometimes at inappropriate moments. That's part of the deal. And remember, that within all of us resides the true Spirit of We- Woah! Let's take it from the top.
** Who: Rango
** Source: ''[[Rango (2011 film)|Rango]]'' (2011)

* Hey, believe me, that story gets better when I tell it, okay? Come on! Bring some food over here, we're starving!
** Who: Django
** Source: ''[[Ratatouille]]'' (2007)

* Ba, welcome to Kumandra.
** Who: Raya
** Source: ''[[Raya and the Last Dragon]]'' (2021)

* Oh we're not late. We'll never going to be late again.
** Who: Rigby
** Source: ''[[Regular Show: The Movie]]'' (2015)

* Aw, phooey! Phooey!
** Who: Robert Benchley
** Source: ''[[The Reluctant Dragon (1941 film)|The Reluctant Dragon]]'' (1941)

* My name is Jack Frost, and I'm a Guardian. How do I know that? Because the Moon told me so. So when the Moon tells you something... ''believe it''.
** Who: Jack Frost
** Source: ''[[Rise of the Guardians]]'' (2012)

* Chel, we're not on the horse!
** Who: Tulio
** Source: ''[[The Road to El Dorado]]'' (2000)

* Well, folks, that's the way it really happened.
** Who: [[w:Alan-a-Dale|Allan-a-Dale]]
** Source: ''[[Robin Hood (1973 film)|Robin Hood]]'' (1973)

* Wait a minute, wait a minute! I-I-I was on the list! Come on, don't you know who I am? Wait! Whoa!
** Who: Tim the Gate Guard
** Source: ''[[Robots (2005 film)|Robots]]'' (2005)

* Hey, Edmond!
** Who: Chanticleer
** Source: ''[[Rock-a-Doodle]]'' (1991)

* As long as we're together. I'm ready to get baked and do anything.
** Who: Brenda
** Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)

* Thank you, Max.
** Who: Duke
* (mid-credits:) I'm home, Leonard. Were you a good boy, Leonard?
** Who: Leonard's Owner
* (post-credits:) All right, party's over!
** Who: Pops
** Source: ''[[The Secret Life of Pets]]'' (2016)

* Bye bye, momma and dada.
** Who: Liam
* (mid-credits:) Snowball, I'm back!
** Who: Molly
* (post-credits:) Okay. Moment's over.
** Who: Rooster
** Source: ''[[The Secret Life of Pets 2]]'' (2019)

* Oh, no!
** Who: Martin
** Source: ''[[The Secret of NIMH]]'' (1982)

* You got served!
** Who: The Shrimp
* Did somebody say CRAZY?!
** Who: Crazy Joe
* What you doing? Go on, get outta here! Go home! It's past your bedtime!
** Who: Mrs. Sanchez
** Source: ''[[Shark Tale]]'' (2004)

* Thanks, boy. Steady. Whoo-hoo!
** Who: Homer Simpson
* (mid-credits:) Smithers, I don't believe in suicides, but if you like to try, it would cheer me up to watch.
** Who: Mr. Burns
* (mid-credits 2:) This is Tom Hanks saying if you see me in person, please leave me be.
** Who: ''[[w:Tom Hanks|Tom Hanks]]''
* (in-credits:) Sequel?
** Who: Maggie Simpson
* (post-credits:) Four years of film school for this?
** Who: Squeaky-Voiced Teen
** Source: ''[[The Simpsons Movie]]'' (2007)

* All creatures great and small, welcome to the New Moon Theater!
** Who: Buster Moon
** Source: ''[[Sing (2016 film)|Sing]]'' (2016)

* Blue!
** Who: Merryweather
** Source: ''[[Sleeping Beauty]]'' (1957)

* Pro: if you go down there you'll meet lots of people. Con: Uh, you're not really a people person. Ugh, this is torture!
** Who: Fleem 
* (mid-credits:) Okay in 3, 2... On the next episode of... Wait am I missing a tooth?
** Who: Percy Patterson
** Source: ''[[Smallfoot (film)|Smallfoot]]'' (2018) 

* Blue cheese!
** Who: Everyone 
* (in-credits:) Am I going mad, Azrael? For the last time, get them to shut off this music!
** Who: [[w:Gargamel|Gargamel]]
** Source: ''[[Smurfs: The Lost Village]]'' (2017)

* Goodbye!
** Who: [[w:Snow White (Disney character)|Snow White]]
** Source: ''[[Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]'' (1937)

* Look!
** Who: Kyle Broflovski
* (post-credits:) Guys out there is hurted.
** Who: Ike Broflovski
** Source: ''[[South Park: Bigger, Longer &amp; Uncut]]'' (1999)

* I think I can handle it.
** Who: Chihiro Ogino (Sen)
** Source: ''[[Spirited Away]]'' (2001)
** Note: This line (per above) was heard in the English dub. The original Japanese dub's final line is &quot;Chihiro, let's get to our new home.&quot;

* Miles! Miles! Do you have a minute?
** Who: Gwen Stacy / Spider-Gwen
* You haven't seen pointing until I'm finished with you!
* You're accusing me of pointing while you're...!
** Who 1: Peter Parker / 1967 Spider-Man
** Who 2: Miguel O'Hara / 2099 Spider-Man
** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse]]'' (2018)

* You think you could handle them? They're not exactly easy to get along with.
** Who: Steven
** Source: ''[[Steven Universe: The Movie]]'' (2019)

* You love it.
** Who: Tulip
** Source: ''[[Storks (film)|Storks]]'' (2016)

* We did it. We really did it! Woo-hoo! Come on, guys! Yeah!
** Who: Richard
** Source: ''[[A Stork’s Journey]]'' (2017)

* Well, uh.... that's something like television. Without commercials.
** Who: Merlin
** Source: ''[[The Sword in the Stone (film)|The Sword in the Stone]]'' (1963)

* Yes, we are.
** Who: [[w:Flynn Rider|Eugene Fitzherbert]]
** Source: ''[[Tangled]]'' (2010)

* Ooo-ooo-ee-ah-ooo.
** Who: Jane Porter
** Source: ''[[Tarzan (1999 film)|Tarzan]]'' (1999)

* Woof!
** Who: Spot Helperman
** Source: ''[[Teacher's Pet (2004 film)|Teacher's Pet]]'' (2004)

* Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT! KIDS, ASK YOUR PARENTS WHERE BABIES COME FROM!
** Who: 2013 Robin
* (mid-credits:) This is the ''[[Teen Titans (TV series)|Teen Titans]]''! Can anyone hear us? We think we found a way back!
** Who: 2003 Robin
* Challengers! I believe we may have missed the motion picture!
** Who: Unknown Challenger
** Source: ''[[Teen Titans Go! To the Movies]]'' (2018)

* Avengers! Assemble!
** Who: James Rogers
** Source: ''Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow'' (2008)

* And of course, they lived happily ever after.
** Who: Jacquimo
** Source: ''[[Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]'' (1994)

* We live together, we train together, we fight together, we stand for good, together. We are Ninjas. We strike hard, defend, protect and fade into the night. And there ain't no bad guy or monster gonna ever change that: That's what's important. And that's why we'll always be brothers. Oh, I love bein' a turtle.
** Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
** Source: ''[[TMNT (film)|TMNT]]'' (2007)

* Tom! Jerry! Welcome to your new home!
** Who: Robyn Starling
** Source: ''[[Tom and Jerry: The Movie]]'' (1992)

* Til All Are One!, Till All Are One!, Till All Are One!
** Who: The Autobots
** Source: ''[[The Transformers: The Movie]]'' (1986)

* Up high!
** Who: Cloud Guy
* (in-credits:) But wait, wait, wait.
** Who: Creek
** Source: ''[[Trolls (film)|Trolls]]'' (2016)
** Note: After Poppy and the other Trolls make peace with the Bergens, Creek, along with Chef is knocked out of the Bergen castle. Chef then betrays Creek by trying to eat him, but before this can happen, both are eaten alive by a hill monster.

* Glitter!
** Who: Queen Barb
* (in-credits:) But who gonna eat my cheese balls, babe?
** Who: King Gristle, Jr.
** Source: ''[[Trolls World Tour]]'' (2020)

* And it looks like the winner is...
** Who: Sports Announcer
** Source: ''[[Turbo (film)|Turbo]]'' (2013)

* We've all got an inner beast. We've all got a messy, loud, weird part of ourselves hidden away. And a lot of us never let it out. But I did. How about you?
** Who: Mei Lee
** Source: ''[[Turning Red]]'' (2022)

* She's gonna be so excited.
** Who: Father of Moxy's owner
** Source: ''[[Uglydolls]]'' (2019)

* Another blue one.
** Who: Russell
** Source: ''[[Up (2009 film)|Up]]'' (2009)

* Cheeeeeeeeeese!
** Who: Hutch the Rabbit
** Source: ''[[Wallace &amp; Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit|Wallace &amp; Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit]]'' (2005)

* This is called farming! You kids are gonna grow all kinds of plants! Vegetable plants, pizza plants! Oh, it's good to be home!
** Who: Captain B. McCrea
** Source: ''[[WALL-E]]'' (2008)

* Gotcha!
** Who: Alex
** Source: ''[[Walking with Dinosaurs (film)|Walking with Dinosaurs]]'' (2013)

* All the world will be your enemy, Prince of a Thousand enemies. And when they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you; digger, listener, runner, Prince with the swift warning. Be cunning, and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Watership Down (film)|Watership Down]]'' (1978)

* Alright, guys, let's eat! I'm gonna do syrup and honey.
** Who: Grizzly Bear
** Source: ''[[We Bare Bears: The Movie]]'' (2020)

* Nick!
** Who: Flash
* (in-credits:) Come on! Shake your tails with me, come on! Yeah!
** Who: Gazelle
** Source: ''[[Zootopia]]'' (2016)

=== ''101 Dalmatians'' film series ===

* I'm hungry, mother.
** Who: Roley
** Source: ''[[One Hundred and One Dalmatians]]''

* Say &quot;spots!&quot;
** Who: Photographer
** Source: ''[[101 Dalmatians II: Patch's London Adventure]]''

=== ''[[The Angry Birds Movie]]'' film series ===

* Guys! No!
** Who: Red
* (mid-credits:) Whoa!
** Who: Jay, Jake, and Jim
** Source: ''[[The Angry Birds Movie]]'' (2016)

* Jinx! Jinx! Jinx!
** Who: Chuck and Silver
* (in-credits:) Bye-bye.
** Who: Zoe's sister
** Source: ''[[The Angry Birds Movie 2]]'' (2019)

=== ''[[Aladdin]]'' film series ===

* Made ya look.
** Who: Genie
* (post-credits, special edition only:) You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!
** Who: Genie
** Source: ''[[Aladdin (1992 Disney film)|Aladdin]]'' (1992)

* Does this mean I don't get my third wish?
** Who: Abis Mal
** Source: ''[[The Return of Jafar]]'' (1994)

* Wait a minute. We're not gettin' outta here, man! We're not gettin' outta here! Don't ya understand it, man? This is it, game's over, man!
** Who: Genie
** Source: ''[[Aladdin and the King of Thieves]]'' (1996)

=== ''Bambi'' film series ===

* Well, I don't believe I've ever seen a more likely looking pair of fawns. Prince Bambi ought to be mighty proud.
** Who: Friend Owl
** Source: ''[[Bambi]]'' (1942)

* Actually, I was a lot like you.
** Who: The Great Prince of the Forest
** Source: ''[[Bambi II]]'' (2006)

=== ''Barbie'' film series ===

* I always knew you could.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie in the Nutcracker'' (2001)

* When you do that, you'll never go wrong.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie as Rapunzel'' (2002)

* Wouldn't miss it.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie of Swan Lake'' (2003)

* And, of course, Wolfie and Serafina lived happily ever after. Along with their many, many, many kittens.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper'' (2004)

* I can't believe it! I'm flying!
** Who: Elina
** Source: ''Barbie: Fairytopia'' (2005)

* I'm trying!
** Who: Blush
** Source: ''Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus'' (2005)

* Secret seaweed, huh? Oh, that is clever of you to remember that!
** Who: Dandilion
** Source: ''Barbie Fairytopia: Mermaidia'' (2006)

* Yes, Papa. I'm finally on time for something.
** Who: Genevieve
** Source: ''Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses'' (2006)

* Goodbye, Elina! I know you look forward to seeing me again!
** Who: Fabien
** Source: ''Barbie Fairytopia: Magic of the Rainbow'' (2007)

* (gasps) A princess!
** Who: Tika
** Source: ''Barbie as the Island Princess'' (2007)

* Bye-bye! Whee!
** Who: A Flutterpixie
** Source: ''Barbie: Mariposa'' (2008)

* Now, where were we?
* ''[singing]'' Oh-whoa-oh. Two voices, one song...
** Who: Barbie and Teresa
** Source: ''Barbie and the Diamond Castle'' (2008)

* I think that would be amazing, Kelly.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie in A Christmas Carol'' (2008)

* Right now, I've got somewhere else to be!
** Who: Corrinne
** Source: ''Barbie and the Three Musketeers'' (2008)
 
* Oopsie! Guess old habits die hard...girlfriend!
** Who: Raquelle
** Source: ''Barbie: A Fairy Secret'' (2011)

* Come on. I wanna introduce you to everyone!
** Who: Blair Willows/Princess Sophia
** Source: ''Barbie: Princess Charm School'' (2011)

* Merry Christmas!
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie: A Perfect Christmas'' (2011)

* Meribella! Put your hands up for me! Come on!
** Who: Keira
** Source: ''Barbie: The Princess &amp; The Popstar'' (2012)

* Come on, let's go!
** Who: Kristyn Farraday
** Source: ''Barbie In The Pink Shoes'' (2013)

* OK! Now, who's got the boarding passes?
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie and her Sisters: In a Pony Tale'' (2013)

* What on earth?
** Who: Bookhurst
** Source: ''Barbie and the Secret Door'' (2014)

* One, two, three, four!
** Who: Erika Juno
** Source: ''Barbie in Rock 'n Royals'' (2015)

* And thanks to Barbie, who was the one after all, everyone lived happily ever after.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''Barbie: Star Light Adventure'' (2016)

* How about you show me those moves?
** Who: Lindsey
** Source: ''Barbie &amp; Her Sisters in A Puppy Chase'' (2016)

* Look!
** Who: Chelsea
** Source: ''Barbie Dolphin Magic'' (2017)

* She's right. Barbie, I can't hold back any longer. I think I... wanna dance with you.
** Who: Ken
** Source: ''Barbie Princess Adventure'' (2020)

* New York! Emmie here, coming at you live from Times Square to announce the winner of the Spotlight Solo! Put your hands together for my friends, Barbie Roberts and Barbie Roberts! Otherwise known as Malibu and Brooklyn, the winners of the Spotlight Solo!
** Who: Emmie
** Source: ''Barbie: Big City, Big Dreams'' (2021)

=== ''[[w:Beauty and the Beast (franchise)|Beauty and the Beast]]'' film series ===

* Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard?
** Who: Chip Potts
** Source: ''[[Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|Beauty and the Beast]]'' (1991)

* I'd be delighted.
** Who: Fife
** Source: ''[[w:Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas|Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas]]'' (1997)

* And it begins, uh, Lumiere, with trust. Where, with mutual respect, as I have always said all relationships must be firmly based on that. One must build on a firm foundation of trust and respect in order to flourish and flow; nourish and grow. Always attentive to the needs of the other and honesty, utter honesty is the key on which...
** Who: Cogsworth
** Source: ''[[w:Belle's Magical World|Belle's Magical World]]'' (1998)

=== ''Bratz'' film series ===

* It was original, captivating, stylized, and told me so much about each one of you. You're all getting A+'s!
** Who: Mr. Del Rio
** Source: ''Bratz: Starrin' &amp; Stylin'' (2004)

* We’re the girls..
* With the passion for fashion!
* And...
* We...
* ROCK!
** Who: Jade, Cloe, Yasmin and Sasha
** Source: ''Bratz Rock Angelz'' (2005)

* Please, call me Henry, all right?
** Who: Gordon Murph
** Source: ''Bratz Babyz: The Movie'' (2006)

* So, after all that work and practice, we discovered that we were really good at a lot of different things. But, what we're best at is being best friends. By helping Anna win the contest, we all ended up winners and we felt like stars!
** Who: Sasha
** Source: ''Bratz Girlz Really Rock'' (2008)

=== ''Care Bears'' film series ===

* Care for me, Mrs. Cherrywood. Just care for me.
** Who: Mr. Cherrywood
** Source: ''[[The Care Bears Movie]]'' (1985)

* Yes, sir! Everything was back to the way it was. But, as always, it was just a little bit different, a little bit better, and a little bit more special—thanks to the Care Bears, the Care Bear Cousins, and thanks to... ''(laughs)'' Well, you all know who you are. I thank my lucky Stars that there are people out there like you who really do care. You're not afraid to share your feelings—and that, my friends, makes you all world-class Care Bear Champs!
** Who: The Great Wishing Star
** Source: ''[[Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation]]'' (1986)

* Goodbye!
** Who: The Care Bears
** Source: ''Care Bears: Journey to Joke-a-lot'' (2004)

* Twinkers, did you hear? Too Loud Bear finally got your name right!
** Who: Wish Bear
** Source: ''The Care Bears' Big Wish Movie'' (2005)

* You bet!
** Who: Cheer Bear
** Source: ''Care Bears: Oopsy Does It!'' (2007)

* Oopsy.
** Who: Oopsy Bear
** Source: ''Care Bears: To the Rescue'' (2010)

*Let's get this Giving Festival started!
** Who: Princess Starglo
** Source: ''Care Bears: The Giving Festival (2010)''

*Later, gators, I've got stars to make!
** Who: Princess Starglo
** Source: ''Care Bears: Share Bear Shines (2011)''

=== ''[[w:Cars (franchise)|Cars]]'' film series ===

* Yeah! Ka-chow!
** Who: Lightning McQueen
* (in-credits) Wait a minute here. They're just using the [[w:John Ratzenberger|same actor]] over and over. [[w:Pixar|What kind of a cut-rate production is this?!]]
** Who: Mack
* (post-credits:) NO! There's an on-ramp close! I KNOW IT! I CAN FEEL IT! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!
** Who: [[w:List_of_Cars_characters#Van and Minny|Van]]
** Source: ''[[Cars (film)|Cars]]'' (2006)

* Not if I see you first!
** Who: [[w:Mater (Cars)|Tow Mater]]
** Source: ''[[Cars 2]]'' (2011)

* Go!
** Who: Luigi
* (post-credits:) Hey, McQueen! You still there? McQueen! Ugh. Technology.
** Who: [[w:Mater (Cars)|Tow Mater]]
** Source: ''[[Cars 3]]'' (2017)

* Ha-ha, you're on!
** Who: Skipper
** Source: ''[[Planes (film)]]'' (2013)

* Ladies and gentleplanes! Turn your attention to the skies for today's featured aerial presentation! The Propwash Junction Corn Fest is proud to present the Piston Peak Air Attack team, and our very own world champion racer and firefighter, Dusty Crophopper!
** Who: Chug
* (in-credits:) Welcome to Death Valley National Park. Is it hot? ''(laughs weezily)'' Yes, it is.
** Who: Cad Spinner
* (post-credits:) Yay!
** Who: Drip
** Source: ''[[Planes: Fire &amp; Rescue]]'' (2014)

=== ''[[w:Cinderella (franchise)|Cinderella]]'' film series ===

* But, you see, I have the other slipper.
** Who: [[w:Cinderella (Disney character)|Cinderella]]
** Source: ''[[Cinderella (1950 film)|Cinderella]]'' (1950)

* Once upon a time, there was a big castle... and in this castle lived a prince and a princess...
** Who: Cinderella
** Source: ''[[Cinderella II: Dreams Come True]]'' (2002)

* And they lived happily ever after... again.
** Who: Cinderella
** Source: ''[[Cinderella III: A Twist in Time]]'' (2007)

=== ''[[w:The Croods (franchise)|The Croods]]'' film series ===

* Duh-duh-duh!
** Who: Belt and Sandy Crood
** Source: ''[[The Croods]]'' (2013)

* Dad was right after all, we were stronger together.
** Who: Eep Crood
** Source: ''[[The Croods: A New Age]]'' (2020)

=== ''[[w:DC Universe Animated Original Movies|DC Universe Animated Original Movies]]'' ===

* In other news, Gotham's mysterious defender...the Batman, was seen last night helping police apprehend the leaders...of an underworld, gun-running operation...
** Who: Summer Gleason
** Source: ''[[Batman and Mr. Freeze: Subzero]]'' (1998)
* Hi, old man.
** Who: Tim Drake
** Source: ''[[Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker]]'' (2000)
* Well, maybe an explosion now and then.
** Who: Kathy Duquesne
** Source: ''[[Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman]]'' (2003)
* If history has determined that gods can die... ...it has also proven that they may return from the dead. It would seem you can't be destroyed after all, Superman. It would seem.
** Who: Lex Luthor
** Source: ''[[Superman: Doomsday]]'' (2007)
* The pioneers gave up their safety, their comfort, and sometimes their lives to build our new west. They were determined to make the new world strong and free - an example to the world. Some would say that those struggles are all over. That all the horizons have been explored. That all the battles have been won. That there is no longer an American frontier. And we stand today on the edge of a new frontier. The frontier of unknown opportunities and perils. Beyond that frontier are uncharted areas of science. Unsolved problems of peace and war. Unconquered pockets of ignorance and prejudice. I'm asking each of you to be pioneers towards that New Frontier. My call is to the young in heart, regardless of age. Can we carry through in an age where we will witness not only new breakthroughs in weapons of destruction, but also a race for mastery of the sky and the rain, the ocean and the tides, the far side of space, and the inside of men's minds? All mankind waits upon out decision. A whole world waits to see what we shall do. And we cannot fail that trust, and we cannot fail to try.
** Who: John F. Kennedy
** Source: ''[[Justice League: The New Frontier]]'' (2008)

* Sir?
** Who: Alfred Pennyworth
** Source: ''[[Batman: Gotham Knight]]'' (2008)

* Look! It's Wonder Woman!
** Who: Little girl
** Source: ''[[Wonder Woman (2009 film)|Wonder Woman]]'' (2009)

* I've gotta go punch a clock with my other boss. I can see where this is gonna be a long commute.
** Who: Hal Jordan
** Source: ''[[Green Lantern: First Flight]]'' (2009)

* &quot;Late&quot;? Come on, it's... ...early.
** Who: Superman
** Source: ''[[Superman/Batman: Public Enemies]]'' (2009)

* I'm glad you agree. I've been thinking about a membership drive.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths]]'' (2010)

* It feels awesome! Check me out! I'm Robin, the Boy wonder! Are you kidding me? This rocks. Come on, old man, we've got bad guys who need chasing. This is the best day of my life.
** Who: Young Jason Todd/Robin
** Source: ''[[Batman: Under the Red Hood]]'' (2010)

* Hey.
** Who: Superman
** Source: ''[[Superman/Batman: Apocalypse]]'' (2010)

* He's not dead. He's up there fixing the sun. And when he's done, he'll be back.
** Who: Lois Lane
** Source: ''[[All-Star Superman (film)|All-Star Superman]]'' (2011)

* We got a new home to build. Come on. I'll tell you about the time I took on an army of Manhunters and my only backup was this squirrel.
** Who: Hal Jordan
** Source: ''[[Green Lantern: Emerald Knights]]'' (2011)

* Barbara's not crazy about the marriage counselor, but we're making progress. As for me, well, there's a real panic on. Somebody has threatened to poison the Gotham reservoir. He calls himself the Joker. I've got a friend coming who might be able to help. He should be here any minute.
** Who: Lieutenant James Gordon
** Source: ''[[Batman: Year One (film)|Batman: Year One]]'' (2011)

* I do have a plan! It's called the Justice League.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[Justice League: Doom]]'' (2012)

* Can we go so I can kiss you now?
** Who: Lois Lane
** Source: ''[[Superman vs. The Elite]]'' (2012)

* Ba-Batman... Darling!
** Who: Joker
** Source: [[Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (film)|''Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part One'']] (2012)

* I spent 10 years looking for a good death. This... This'll be a good life. Good enough.
** Who: Bruce Wayne
** Source: [[Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (film)|''Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part Two'']] (2013)

* Marry me.
** Who: Clark Kent
** Source: ''[[Superman: Unbound]]'' (2013)

* You're one helluva messenger. Thank you.
** Who: Bruce Wayne
** Source: ''[[Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox]]'' (2013)

* The surface dwellers have killed our king. This is an act of war and they will pay.
** Who: Prince Orm
** Source: ''[[Justice League: War]]'' (2014)

* No.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[Son of Batman]]'' (2014)

* Bang.
** Who: Deadshot
** Source: ''[[Batman: Assault on Arkham]]'' (2014)

* I am Lex Luthor. I have a proposition for you.
** Who: Lex Luthor
** Source: ''[[Justice League: Throne of Atlantis]]'' (2015)

* Sometimes, Alfred... ...you have to have a little faith.
** Who: Bruce Wayne
** Source: ''[[Batman vs. Robin]]'' (2015)

* Time to look ahead, Kirk. You know what they say. The past is like another planet.
** Who: Superman
** Source: ''[[Justice League: Gods and Monsters]]'' (2015)

* Master Bruce is having a heart-to-heart with Damian. One can't help feeling bad. Despite her madness, she was his mother.
** Who: Alfred Pennyworth
** Source: ''[[Batman: Bad Blood]]'' (2016)

* Raven, release me. You're too weak to keep me in here, you filthy witch! I'll get out! I'll kill everyone you love. RAVEN!!!
** Who: Trigon
** Source: ''[[Justice League vs. Teen Titans]]'' (2016)

* Yeah, Dad, I just got back from the lacrosse game. Going to practice some Wallball this weekend. Getting pretty good. Maybe another night, Dad, I got plans tonight. I can't help it if your daughter's so popular. I'll talk to you, later. Right then, back to work.
** Who: Barbara Gordon / Oracle
** Source: ''[[Batman: The Killing Joke (film)|Batman: The Killing Joke]]'' (2016)

* Now, that's what I call making yourself useful, love.
** Who: John Constantine
** Source: ''[[Justice League Dark (film)|Justice League Dark]]'' (2017)

* I talk to the dead. For no matter how rotted the corpse, there's always a tiny wisp of life left.
** Who: Brother Blood
** Source: ''[[Teen Titans: The Judas Contract]]'' (2017)

* Aw... Ain't that a shame? Wendel is headed back to his crummy house and all those cats without getting the help he so desperately needs. Oh, well, that's it for today's show. Till next time, folks. Be good to yourselves. 'Cause everyone else in the world is probably out to get you. Bye-bye!
** Who: Dr. Harleen Quinzel
** Source: ''[[Batman and Harley Quinn]]'' (2017)

* It was all phony anyway. We'll make something new. Something better.
** Who: Dickie
** Source: ''[[Batman: Gotham by Gaslight]]'' (2018)

* I'll be seeing you, Waller. Maybe in heaven.
** Who: Deadshot
** Source: ''[[Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay]]'' (2018)

* Superman?
** Who: Jimmy Olsen
** Source: ''[[The Death of Superman (film)|The Death of Superman]]'' (2018)

* Okay, who left the front door open?
** Who: Green Lantern
** Source: ''[[Reign of the Supermen (film)|Reign of the Supermen]]'' (2019)

* Jessica Cruz. It's an honor.
** Who: Brainiac 5
** Source: ''[[w:Justice League vs. the Fatal Five|Justice League vs. the Fatal Five]]'' (2019)

* Someday.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[w:Batman: Hush (film)|Batman: Hush]]'' (2019)

* You think I'm intimidated? I've won. I'm coming for you, Wonder Woman. Do you hear me, Wonder Woman? I am coming for you!
** Who: Veronica Cale
** Source: ''[[w:Wonder Woman: Bloodlines|Wonder Woman: Bloodlines]]'' (2019)

* I kind of like that last option.
** Who: Lois Lane
** Source: ''[[w:Superman: Red Son (film)|Superman: Red Son]]'' (2020)

* And some of those changes may be shite. And we may make the same mistakes again. It won't be perfect... but it'll be a long sight better than what we got now.
** Who: John Constantine
** Source: ''[[w:Justice League Dark: Apokolips War|Justice League Dark: Apokolips War]]'' (2020)

=== ''[[w:Despicable Me (franchise)|Despicable Me]]'' film series ===

* No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no!
** Who: Gru
* (post-credits:) I am Gru. Back to work! Back to work! Back to...
** Who: Kevin
** Source: ''[[Despicable Me]]'' (2010)

* I'M SO HAPPY!!!
** Who: Agnes Gru
** Source: ''[[Despicable Me 2]]'' (2013)

* Come on, He's my brother. We'll give him a 5 minute head start.
** Who: Felonious Gru
** Source: ''[[Despicable Me 3]]'' (2017)

* FREEZE RAY!!!
** Who: Felonious Gru
** Source: ''[[Minions (film)|Minions]]'' (2015)

=== ''[[w:Fantasia (franchise)|Fantasia]]'' film series ===

* The last number in our ''Fantasia'' program is a combination of two pieces of music so utterly different in construction and mood that they set each other off perfectly. The first is ''A Night On Bald Mountain'', by one of Russia's greatest composers, Modest Mussorgsky. The second is Franz Schubert's world-famous ''Ave Maria''. Musically and dramatically, we have here a picture of the struggle between the profane and the sacred. Bald Mountain, according to tradition, is the gathering place of Satan and his followers. Here on ''Walpurgisnacht'', which is the equivalent of our own Halloween, the creatures of evil gather to worship their master. Under his spell, they dance furiously until the coming of dawn and the sounds of church bells send the infernal army slinking back into their abodes of darkness. And then we hear the Ave Maria, with its message of the triumph of hope and life over the powers of despair and death.
** Who: [[w:Deems Taylor|Deems Taylor]]
** Source: ''[[Fantasia (1940 film)|Fantasia]]'' (1940)

* Camera back on me. Uh, camera back on me, please. Anyone? Hello? Hello? Could someone give me a ride home?
** Who: [[Steve Martin]]
** Source: ''[[Fantasia 2000]]'' (2000)

=== ''[[w:Finding Nemo (franchise)|Finding Nemo]]'' film series ===

* Bye, son.
** Who: Marlin
* (pre-credits:) Now what?
** Who: Bloat
** Source: ''[[Finding Nemo]]'' (2003)

* Yep. Unforgettable.
** Who: Dory
* (post-credits:) Now what?
** Who: Bloat
** Source: ''[[Finding Dory]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:Frozen (franchise)|Frozen]]'' film series ===

* That's it. Glide and pivot. Glide and pivot.
** Who: Olaf
** Source: ''[[Frozen (2013 film)|Frozen]]'' (2013)

* Ready?
** Who: Elsa
* (post-credits:) Oh. We live! WE LIVE!!! Good story.
** Who: Marshmallow 
** Source: ''[[Frozen II]]'' (2019)

=== ''[[w:Happy Feet (franchise)|Happy Feet]]'' film series ===

* Gracias.
** Who: Ramón
** Source: ''[[Happy Feet]]'' (2006)

* Ja, The Svened.
** Who: The Mighty Sven
** Source: ''[[Happy Feet Two]]'' (2011)

=== ''[[w:Hotel Transylvania (franchise)|Hotel Transylvania]]'' film series ===

* Alright, maybe just a little.
** Who: Dracula
* (in-credits) I didn't do that.
** Who: Elderly Gremlin
** Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania|Hotel Transylvania]]'' (2012)

* I didn't do that.
** Who: Elderly Gremlin
** Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania 2]]'' (2015)

* Yes!
** Who: Ericka van Helsing
** Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation]]'' (2018)

=== ''[[w:Hoodwinked!|Hoodwinked!]]'' film series ===

* I always did like happy endings.
** Who: Red Puckett
** Source: ''[[Hoodwinked!]]'' (2005)

* Hey, girls. Let's call it a night.
** Who: Twitchy
** Source: ''[[Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil]]'' (2011)

=== ''[[w:How to Train Your Dragon|How to Train Your Dragon]]'' film series ===

* This is Berk. It snows nine months of the year and hails the other three. Any food that grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here are even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies or parrots... we have... dragons!
** Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
** Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon (film)|How to Train Your Dragon]]'' (2010)

* This... is Berk. A bit trampled and busted and covered in ice, but it's home. It's our home. Those who attacked us are relentless and crazy. But those who stopped them? Oh, even more so! We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pit against us. We are the voice of peace. And bit by bit, we will change this world. You see, we have something they don't. Oh sure, they have armies and they have armadas... But we... we have... OUR DRAGONS!
** Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
** Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon 2]]'' (2014)

* Legend says that when the ground quakes or lava spews from the earth, it's the dragons letting us know they're still here. Waiting for us to figure out how to get along. Yes, the world believes the dragons are gone, if they ever existed at all. But we Berkians, we know otherwise. And we'll guard this secret until the time comes when dragons can return in peace.
** Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
** Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World]]'' (2019)

=== ''[[w:Ice Age (franchise)|Ice Age]]'' film series ===

* No, really...
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Sid|Sid]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age (2002 film)|Ice Age]]'' (2002)

* Calm down! I saved you, little buddy! Remember!?
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Sid|Sid]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: The Meltdown]]'' (2006)

* That's right, sweetheart. Welcome to the Ice Age.
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Ellie|Ellie]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs]]'' (2009)

* No! Stop! Brother, rise above this base desire. Be more than a rodent.
** Who: Ariscratle
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: Continental Drift]]'' (2012)

* Mars: the red planet. Cold... dry... inhospitable to life. But billions and billions of years ago, Mars looked like this. There were lakes, rivers, oceans... the perfect conditions for life to form. So, what happened? Why was life unable to take hold? Where did the water go? We may never know.
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Neil deBuck Weasel|Neil deBuck Weasel]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: Collision Course]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:The Incredibles (franchise)|The Incredibles]]'' film series ===

* Behold, the Underminer! I am always beneath you, but nothing is beneath me! I hereby declare war on peace and happiness! Soon, all will tremble before me!
** Who: The Underminer
** Source: ''[[The Incredibles]]'' (2004)

* Stop! Let us out! Here, large popcorn, small soda. Save me a seat. Center, about eight rows back. I'll be back before the previews are over!
** Who: [[w:Violet Parr|Violet Parr]]
** Source: ''[[Incredibles 2]]'' (2018)

=== ''[[Kim Possible]]'' film series ===

* No idea why I said that!
** Who: Ron Stoppable
** Source: ''[[Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time]]'' (2003)

* It finally happened! She's dating that loser! Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable are dating!? ''(Laughs loudly)''
** Who: Bonnie Rockwaller
** Source: ''[[Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama]]'' (2005)

=== ''[[w:Kung Fu Panda (franchise)|Kung Fu Panda]]'' film series ===

* Yeah.
** Who: [[w:List_of_Kung_Fu_Panda_characters#Master Shifu|Master Shifu]]
** Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda]]'' (2008)

* My son is alive...
** Who: [[w:List_of_Kung_Fu_Panda_characters#Li Shan|Li Shan]]
** Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda 2]]'' (2011)

* Panda Asthma.
** Who: [[w:List_of_Kung_Fu_Panda_characters#Li Shan|Li Shan]]
** Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda 3]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:Lady and the Tramp|Lady and the Tramp]]'' film series ===

* Huh? I haven't? Well, uh, as Old Reliable used to say... He'd say, uh, uh... He'd say, uh, uh... Doggone. You know, I clean forgot what it was he used to say!
** Who: Trusty
** Source: ''[[Lady and the Tramp]]'' (1955)

* Angel!
** Who: Junior
** Source: ''[[Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure]]'' (2001)

=== ''[[w:The Land Before Time (franchise)|The Land Before Time]]'' film series ===

* And they all grew up together in the valley, generation upon generation, each passing on to the next. The tale of their ancestors' journey to the valley, long ago.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time]]'' (1988)

* But I still can't wait to grow up.
** Who: Littlefoot
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time II: The Great Valley Adventure]]'' (1994)

* And so, as it turned out, the dinosaurs traveled from green spot to green spot, eating their fill, each helping the others to find what they needed, each learning the special kind of joy, which comes from giving to others. And in the years to come, this story of sharing was told over and over again, until it became known as: &quot;The Time of the Great Giving.&quot;
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time III: The Time of the Great Giving]]'' (1995)

* And so, it came to pass that the migrating dinosaurs left the Great Valley for lands unknown. And yes, Littlefoot and his friends, Cera, Ducky, Petrie and Spike, would indeed meet Ali again one day. But that's another story.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time IV: Journey Through the Mists]]'' (1996)

* It's great to be home.
** Who: Cera
** ''[[The Land Before Time V: The Mysterious Island]]'' (1997)

* And so, another myth was born. It would change with each retelling. And even now, who knows how this one will end.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time VI: The Secret of Saurus Rock]]'' (1998)

* Oh, no! Oh, no! But we are plenty smart, right, Spike?
* Uh-huh.
** Who 1: Ducky
** Who 2: Spike
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time VII: The Stone of Cold Fire]]'' (1999)

* The families would be happy here until the Great Circle began to warm the land once more, melting the white ground sparkles and allowing new life to spring up, turning the earth green again. Then they could return to the Great Valley, where they could all get a good night's sleep, even Ducky.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time VIII: The Big Freeze]]'' (2001)

* This adventure was at an end. Still, Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Petrie and Spike knew in their hearts that there would be many more adventures yet to come.
** Who: Narrator
** Source:''[[The Land Before Time IX: Journey to Big Water]]'' (2002)

* I just have one question. Do we HAVE to go back through the swamp?
** Who: Ducky
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time X: The Great Longneck Migration]]'' (2003)

* And every nibbling day, the dinosaurs of the Great Valley gathered to celebrate these small things of life which mattered so much.
* Got you!
** Who 1: Narrator
** Who 2: Petrie
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time XI: Invasion of the Tinysauruses]]'' (2005)

* Many changes had occurred on this day of changes. And many more would follow. The dinosaur families understood this. They knew that change was a part of life in the Great Valley.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time XII: The Great Day of the Flyers]]'' (2006)

* In their journey to Berry Valley, the young dinosaurs had discovered that wisdom came in many different forms. And they knew that more lessons lay before them as they grew in the land before time.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time XIII: The Wisdom of Friends]]'' (2007)

* Littlefoot had found his father. And he found something else, too... Something he wasn't looking for. The realization that he and his friends would always be together... till the end of their days... in the Land Before Time.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time XIV: Journey of the Brave]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:The Lego Movie (franchise)|The Lego Movie]]'' film series ===

* Oh, man.
** Who: Emmet Brickowski
** Source: ''[[The Lego Movie]]'' (2014)

* Wow, that was fun! Really hope nobody was recording that. Let me see. Oh, this thing is on. This thing is recording.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[The Lego Batman Movie]]'' (2017)

* B mark.
** Who: Director
** Source: ''[[The Lego Ninjago Movie]]'' (2017)

* An original album of ''Everything is Awesome''?! Wait a minute. Is that...? 
** Who: Emmet Brickowski
** Source: ''[[The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part]]'' (2019)

=== ''[[w:Lilo &amp; Stitch (franchise) (franchise)|Lilo &amp; Stitch]]'' film series ===

* Wait.
** Who: Stitch
** Source: ''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch]]'' (2002)

* And with 626, they make one hotshot evil genius experiment-catching team!
** Who: Jumba Jookiba
* (post-credits:) I'll get the wig.
** Who: Wendy Pleakley
** Source: ''[[Stitch! The Movie]]'' (2003)

* Mom would be so proud of you.
** Who: Nani Pelekai
** Source: ''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch]]'' (2005)

* Aloha!
** Who: The Pelekai ''ʻohana'': Lilo Pelekai, Stitch, Nani Pelekai, David Kawena, Jumba Jookiba, Wendy Pleakley, Mertle Edmonds, and many of Jumba's genetic experiments (Stitch's &quot;cousins&quot;)
** Source: ''[[Leroy &amp; Stitch]]'' (2006)

=== ''[[w:The Lion King (franchise)|The Lion King]]'' film series ===

* Remember...
** Who: Mufasa's Ghost
** Source: ''[[The Lion King]]'' (1994)

* Well done, my son. We are one.
** Who: Mufasa's Ghost
** Source: ''[[The Lion King II: Simba's Pride]]'' (1998)

* Uh, Timon? I still don't do so well in crowds.
** Who: Pumbaa
** Source: ''[[The Lion King 1½]]'' (2004)

=== ''[[w:The Little Mermaid (franchise)|The Little Mermaid]]'' film series ===

* I love you, daddy.
** Who: Ariel
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'' (1989)

* Hi.
** Who: Melody
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea]]'' (2000)

* That's my girl. Samba? Ooh-wa, ooh-wa! 
** Who: Benjamin
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning]]'' (2008)

=== ''[[w:Madagascar (franchise)|Madagascar]]'' film series ===

* Nah. Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
** Who: Skipper
** Source: ''[[Madagascar (2005 film)|Madagascar]]'' (2005)

* Shake 'em. Shake 'em. Shake 'em. Shake 'em...
** Who: King Julian XII
** Source: ''[[Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa]]'' (2008)

* Hey, Skipper, what did you end up doing with the crazy lady, anyway?
** Who: Alex
** Source: ''[[Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted]]'' (2012)

* You know, if I'm being honest, I expected a little more... pizzazz! Yes! Now, that's pizzazz!
** Who: King Julian XII
** Source: ''[[Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (2014)

=== ''[[w:Monsters, Inc. (franchise)|Monsters, Inc.]]'' film series ===

* Kitty!
** Who: Boo
** Source: ''[[Monsters, Inc.]]'' (2001)

* You better believe it.
** Who: Mike Wazowski
* (post-credits:) Great.
** Who: Student Slug Monster
** Source: ''[[Monsters University]]'' (2013)

=== ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' film series ===

* Just a hunch.
** Who: Pinkie Pie
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]'' (2013)

* One! Two! Three! Four!
** Who: Human Pinkie Pie
* (post-credits:) No doubt about it, Spike, there's definitely something strange going on at that school.
** Who: Human Twilight Sparkle (Sci-Twi)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks]]'' (2014)

* Make that the ''second'' strangest.
** Who: Princess Twilight Sparkle
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Friendship Games]]'' (2015)

* Where did the magic that hit this cave come from?
** Who: Sunset Shimmer
* (post-credits:) Let's celebrate!
** Who: Human Pinkie Pie
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Legend of Everfree]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:The Nut Job|The Nut Job]]'' film series ===

* Any more big ideas? Please stay.
** Who: Norvirus Raccoon
** Source: ''[[The Nut Job]]'' (2014)
** Note: A mid-credits scene reveals that Raccoon and Cardinal survived and were drifted out to sea, but sharks now surround them, leaving their fate ambiguous.

* Ride, Precious! Ride! Hiyah!
** Who: Surly
** Source: ''[[The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature]]'' (2017)

=== ''[[w:Open Season (franchise)|Open Season]]'' film series ===

* Wait, wait. No. No. No!
** Who: Shaw
** Source: ''[[Open Season]]'' (2006)

* Come on!
** Who: Elliot
** Source: ''[[Open Season 2]]'' (2009)

* Boop!
** Who: Allistar
** Source: ''[[Open Season 3]]'' (2011)

* No.
** Who: Boog
** Source: ''[[Open Season: Scared Silly]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:The Rescuers|The Rescuers]]'' film series ===

* I sure wish we'd have taken the train.
** Who: Bernard
** Source: ''[[The Rescuers]]'' (1977)

* Help! Anybody! Bernard! Bianca! Where are you? Okay, that's it, I'm out of here. This is ridiculous. You can't leave me here alone. I'm gone! I am gone. Oh. Aw, no, stay in those eggs! That's a direct order! Oh. Hey, you're kind of a cute little feller. Coochy, coochy... Yeowww! Whoa! Ohhh!
** Who: Wilbur
** Source: ''[[The Rescuers Down Under]]'' (1990)

=== ''[[w:Rio (franchise)|Rio]]'' film series ===

* That's my big brave boy.
** Who: Linda Gunderson
* (in-credits:) I love you, Rio!
** Who: Luiz
** Source: ''[[Rio (film)|Rio]]'' (2011)

* That's the end?
** Who: Pedro
** Source: ''[[Rio 2]]'' (2014)

=== ''Rugrats'' film series ===

* Way to go, Dilly!
** Who: Tommy Pickles, Chuckie Finster, Phil and Lil Deville
** Source: ''[[The Rugrats Movie]]'' (1998)

* Well, Tommy. I guess this is the way things are gonna be from now on.
** Who: Chuckie Finster
** Source: ''[[Rugrats in Paris: The Movie]]'' (2000)

* Well, Eliza, as dog is my witness, I'll never lose my babies again!
** Who: Spike the Dog
** Source: ''[[Rugrats Go Wild]]'' (2003)

=== ''[[w:Shrek (franchise)|Shrek]]'' film series ===

* Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
** Who: [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]
** Source: ''[[Shrek]]'' (2001)

* Hey Donkey, that's Spanish!
** Who: [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]
* (mid-credits:) Look at our little mutant babies! I gotta get a job!
** Who: [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]
** Source: ''[[Shrek 2]]'' (2004)

* I got it.
** Who: [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]]
** Source: ''[[Shrek the Third]]'' (2007)

* No, it was ''you'' that rescued ''me.''
** Who: [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]]
** Source: ''[[Shrek Forever After]]'' (2010)

* This is the story of a cat who became a hero. An outlaw dedicated to justice and a lover of beautiful woman. A great, great lover. Really, it is crazy. I am Puss in Boots! And my name would become legend.
** Who: [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]
* (in-credits:) Oh!
** Who: Oh Cat
** Source: ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'' (2011)

=== ''[[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (film series)|SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' film series ===

* Are you crazy? I was just gonna tell you that your fly is down. Manager! This is the greatest day of my life!!!
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants
* (post credits:) Okay.
** Who: Captain Bart the Pirate
** Source: ''[[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]'' (2004)

* See you later, te-ammate!
** Who: [[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (character)|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
* That was pretty good actually.
** Who: Bubbles
* (in-credits:) You know what this needs? A little interpretive dance!
** Who: [[w:Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
** Source: ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water]]'' (2015)

* Order up!
** Who: [[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (character)|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
** Source: ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run]]'' (2020)

=== ''[[w:Surf's Up (film)|Surf's Up]]'' film series ===

* Cody would never do this.
** Who: Edna Maverick
** Source: ''[[Surf's Up]]'' (2007)

* Okay, That's a wrap on this episode of &quot;Are they still cool? Surf Edition&quot;. Aaaand cut.
** Who: Announcer
** Source: ''[[Surf's Up 2: WaveMania]]'' (2017)

=== ''[[w:Toy Story (franchise)|Toy Story]]'' film series ===

* Oh, what is it? What is it? Wow! A puppy!
** Who: Andy Davis
** Source: ''[[Toy Story]]'' (1995)

* Besides, when it all ends, I'll have old Buzz Lightyear to keep me company - for infinity and beyond.
** Who: Woody
* Yeah!
** Who: Wheezy
* (outtakes:) A little break, okay. Phew.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 2]]'' (1999)

* So long, partner. Oh hey, Buzz! You haven't met Bonnie's toys yet! 
** Who: Woody
* (in-credits:) Just go with it, Buzz.
** Who: Jessie
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 3]]'' (2010)

* He's not lost. Not anymore. To infinity...
* ...and beyond.
** Who 1: Buzz Lightyear
** Who 2: Woody
* (mid-credits 1:) Oh yeah. Leave it to us, Jermiah.
** Who: Ducky
* (mid-credits 2:) Yeah. We know exactly what to do.
** Who: Bunny
* (mid-credits 3:) Whoa.
** Who: Duke Caboom
* (mid-credits 4:) I don't know.
** Who: Forky
* (post-credits:) Caboom! Yes.
** Who: Duke Caboom
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 4]]'' (2019)

* To infinity...
* ...and beyond.
** Who 1: Izzy Hawthorne
** Who 2: Buzz Lightyear
* (mid-credits:) [laughs] Laser Shield.
**Who: Commander Burnside
*(post-credits:) Ask the bromite swamps, a breathtaking sight or so I am told, but if you're in a hurry, this would be your most direct route. Any questions? Hello? Oh...
**Who: E.R.I.C.
** Source: ''[[Lightyear (film)|Lightyear]]'' (2022)

=== ''[[Winnie the Pooh]]'' film series ===

* Wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in their enchanted place on top of the forest, a little bear will always be waiting.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh]]'' (1977)

* Yes, Piglet. It's the least we could do... for a very small Piglet who's done such very big things. Thank you, Piglet.
** Who: Pooh
** Source: ''[[Piglet's Big Movie]]'' (2003)

* And so it is here we shall leave them. And here we shall find them again. For the boy and the bear will always be together in this remarkable place called the Hundred Acre Wood.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin]]'' (1997)

* You know, we never really did capture a Heffalump that day. It was more like... like Lumpy captured all of us.
** Who: Pooh
** Source: ''[[Pooh's Heffalump Movie]]'' (2005)

* You were right! I love Hallowoon! Hallow-woo... Hallow... Oh, whatever. As long as we're together!
** Who: Lumpy
** Source: ''[[Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie]]'' (2006)

* Look this way, everybody. Closer. Smile!
** Who: Christopher Robin
** Source: ''[[The Tigger Movie]]'' (2000)

* Silly old bear.
** Who: Christopher Robin
* (post-credits:) Wow! It's amazing what you can find in the woods. A marble! And a boot! And oh, my, that's a scary-lookin' fella. Gosh! Maybe these are his things. You know, I better pick 'em up so they won't get broken. That's the last thing I would want. Whoa!  Oh, my gosh! Is this a pit? I think I'm in a pit! Hello? Anybody up there? Oh, well. I sure hope that fella will be back soon.
** Who: The Backson
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh (film)|Winnie the Pooh]]'' (2011)
** Note: He comes out of the scary woods and proves to be real but instead of being a monstrous beast, he is actually very kind and the bait Pooh and the other left for him he decided to pick them up to return to them but falls into the pit as planned. He decides to wait for someone to help him out and hopes he'll be back soon.

* And so another Christmas came and went in the Hundred Acre Wood. It had been a joyous season of giving for all our friends, but especially for a little bear named Winnie the Pooh.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: Seasons of Giving]]'' (1999)

* Not bad! But it could've used a few more jingly bells.
** Who: Tigger
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: A Very Merry Pooh Year]]'' (2002)

* BBFN: Bye-Bye For Now!
** Who: Roo
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: Springtime With Roo]]'' (2004)

=== ''[[Winx Club]]'' film series ===

* And thus, the fairy that was searching for her origins learned to believe in herself, and to trust the people she loved. She stayed true to herself, and to what she believed in, and won her greatest battle, saving her kingdom, freeing her people, and reuniting her family, and finally becoming a true guardian fairy. And now written in the Book of Fate, there's a new Company of Light... the Winx!
** Who: Bartelby (Dubbing Brothers)
* And so, the most strong-willed of all fairies overcame the greatest challenge. She learned to believe in herself and trust the people she loved. She stayed true to what was in her heart and in doing so she saved a kingdom, freed her people, and reunited her long-lost family. And finally, she became a true Guardian Fairy. And now written in the Book of Fate, there's a new Company of Light, called... the Winx!
** Who: Bartelby (Atlas Oceanic)
* (pre-credits:) And soon we'll loop their stupid little fairy wings right off their bodies!
** Who: Icy (Dubbing Brothers)
* (pre-credits:) And soon we reap their weak little fairy wings right of their bodies!
** Who: Icy (Atlas Oceanic)
** Source: ''[[Winx Club: The Secret of the Lost Kingdom]]'' (2007)

* Daddy...
** Who: Bloom
* (post-credits:) Ta-da!!!
** Who: Stella
** Source: ''[[Winx Club 3D: Magical Adventure]]'' (2010)

* Kiko... Thank you! I'm really dying for an ice cream!
** Who: Sky
** Source: ''[[Winx Club: The Mystery of the Abyss]]'' (2014)

=== ''[[w:Wreck-It Ralph (franchise)|Wreck-It Ralph]]'' film series ===

* But I gotta say, the best part of my day is when I get thrown off the roof. Because when the Nicelanders lift me up, I get a perfect view of Sugar Rush, and I can see Vanellope racing. The kid's a natural, the players love her, glitch and all, just like I knew they would. Turns out I don't need a medal to tell me I'm a good guy. Because if that little kid likes me... how bad can I be?
** Who: [[w:Wreck-it Ralph (character)|Wreck-it Ralph]]
** Source: ''[[Wreck-It Ralph]]'' (2012)

* Come on Felix, let's get to work, buddy.
* (mid-credits:) No, the kitty gets the milkshake. The bunny gets the pancake.
* (post-credits:) Oh no, why would I?! I like you! You guys still sticking around? Alright well, you're welcome to stay, there's not really anymore surprises but you know. Good luck getting that song out of your head it's a real ear wig. Anyway what else uh...
** Who: [[w:Wreck-it Ralph (character)|Wreck-it Ralph]]
** Source: ''[[Ralph Breaks the Internet]]'' (2018)

== Streaming service films ==

=== Disney+ films ===

* Hey! Movie's over! Go home!
** Who: Terry
** Source: ''[[Soul (2020 film)|Soul]]'' (2020)

=== Netflix films ===

* Well, rickety biscuit.
** Who: Edmée
** Source: ''[[Arlo the Alligator Boy]]'' (2021)

* Yay! I missed you so much!
** Who: GIR
** Source: ''[[Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus]]'' (2019)

* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
** Who: Bobby Santiago
* (in-credits:) Just the right amount of cinnamon.
** Who: Lincoln Loud
** Source: ''[[The Loud House Movie]]'' (2021)

* Whew! Hey, guys. What did I miss? ''AAAAAAHHHHH''--
** Who: Balloon Pony
* (post-credits:) Me first!
** Who: Kid Earth Pony 1
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: A New Generation]]'' (2021)

* Woo-hoo...OOF!
** Who: Hilda
** Source: ''[[Hilda and The Mountain King]]'' (2021)

* Two thousand one boogers on the wall, two thousand and one boogers... Pick one out and flick it off, two thousand and two boogers on the wall. Two thousand and two boogers on the wall, two thousand and two boogers...
** Who: Mr. Dupette
** Source: ''[[Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling]]'' (2019)

=== Paramount+ films ===

* We just had another call asking to speak with Victor Chouce. You're quite a popular man, Victor. I wonder what all the fuss is about. Don't feel like talking, huh? You will.
** Who: Warden
** Source: ''[[South Park: Post Covid]]'' (2021)

* Remember folks, weed can't solve all your problems but tegridy can. Tegridy Weeeed.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid]]'' (2021)

* Yeah, well, you see, ManBearPig, eventually, he gonna kill everybody. He just gonna kill you first.
** Who: Pi-Pi
** Source: ''[[South Park: The Streaming Wars]]'' (2022)

* Yeah, but that all sounds really hard. We have enough water for the summer now. Fuck it. Let's smoke some weed!
** Who: Randy Marsh
** Source: ''[[South Park: The Streaming Wars Part 2]]'' (2022)

== Animated TV specials ==

* D.W., turn that thing off!
** Who: Arthur Read
** Source: ''Arthur's Perfect Christmas'' (2000)
* Well, you kids will never believe this, but I could almost swear I saw a cat – a Cat in the Hat, mind you – going down the street with a moss-covered three-handled family gradunza!
** Who: Mother
** Source: ''[[The Cat in the Hat (TV special)|The Cat in the Hat]]'' (1971)
* C'mon, sis. Let's go talk to Mom and Dad.
** Who: Michael
** Source: ''[[Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue]]'' (1990)

* There is a story, some kids tell about when the world was ruled by an evil adult. A story about a boy, his dad, a book, and a tree. It's the true story about how I found the book of KND and what I wrote in it. Five words only. WE. ARE. KIDS. NEXT. DOOR.
** Who: Nigel Uno (Numbuh One)
** Source: ''[[Codename: Kids Next Door - Operation Z.E.R.O.]]'' (2006)

* It's taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but at last I know where I'm going. Where I've always been going. Home, the long way round.
** Who: The [[Eleventh Doctor]]
** Source: ''[[Eleventh Doctor|Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor]]'' (2013)

* Mr. Phillip has wished, and so I shall use my power. With a wave of my hands, I shall say, &quot;au revoir, Eiffel Tower!&quot;
** Who: Adil
** Source: ''[[Genie in the House|Genie in the House: Legend of the Dragon]]'' (2010)

* Oh, I love it, Philip, I love it too bits!
** Who: Max Baxter
** Source: ''[[Genie in the House|Genie in the House: Return to Balamkadaar]]'' (2008)

* We'll be waiting right here.
** Who: Stella Shortman
** Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie]]'' (2017)

* Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp, so as long as we have hands to clap, Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have. Welcome, Christmas. While we stand... Heart to heart... and hand to hand.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[w: How the Grinch stole Christmas|Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas]]'' (1966)

* Merry Christmas!
** Who: [[w:Santa Claus|Santa Claus]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas]]'' (2011)

* The ship is terrible! Not seaworthy! Bunny overboard!
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Squint|Squint]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: The Great Egg-Scapade]]'' (2016)
** Note: Squint trying to sail away in a basket as a ship but unfortunately it sinks.

* Merry Christmas and happy Julianuary, everybody!
** Who: Mort
** Source: ''[[Merry Madagascar]]'' (2009)

* Two, three four!
** Who: River
** Source: ''My Scene: Jammin' in Jamaica'' (2004)

* To sharing secrets with the best friends anyone could ever have!
** Who: Chelsea
** Source: ''My Scene: Masquerade Madness'' (2004)

* What? It's none of your business!
** Who: Beth
** Source: ''Polly Pocket: Lunar Eclipse'' (2003)

* Still, it was mad fun!
** Who: Pia Pocket
** Source: ''Polly Pocket: 2 Cool at the Pocket Plaza'' (2005)

* Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho!
** Who: [[w:Santa Claus|Santa Claus]]
** Source: ''[[Stick Man]]'' (2015)

* Okay, next time, we're going to Mexico. OW!
** Who: Beast Boy
** Source: ''[[Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo]]'' (2006)

* Above all, do not lament my absence, for in my spark, I know that this is not the end, but merely a new beginning. Simply put, another transformation.
** Who: Optimus Prime
** Source: ''[[Transformers: Prime|Transformers: Prime - Predacons Rising]]'' (2013)

* First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth!
** Who: Lee
* (post-credits:) It's the end of the movie? What movie?
** Who: Jonny 2X4
** Source: ''[[Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show]]'' (2009)

* That night, the stars seemed to shine down on the forest with a special warm glow. Schaeffer wondered if he could have dreamt it all. Surely a star had fallen and spread magic in its path? And one special wish had come true, just now. And then Schaeffer stopped wondering, because he suddenly knew that if Broo had made it to the Evergreen Forest, then he would soon see Sophia and the Raccoons too.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Raccoons and the Lost Star]]'' (1983)

=== ''[[Futurama]]'' ===

* Well, we're boned.
** Who: Bender
** Source: ''[[Futurama: Bender's Big Score]]'' (2007)

* Because Bender knows love. And love doesn't share itself with the world. Love is suspicious, love is needy, love is fearful, love is greedy. My friends, there is no great love without great jealousy. I love you, meatbags.
** Who: Bender
** Source: ''[[Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs]]'' (2008)

* Faster! Faster! Slower!
** Who: Professor Farnsworth
** Source: ''[[Futurama: Bender's Game]]'' (2008)

* Go! Go!
** Who: Fry and Leela
** Source: ''[[Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder]]'' (2009)

=== ''[[The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour Specials]]'' ===

* GET OUT OF MY LAB!
** Who: Jimmy Neutron
** Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour'' (2004)

* Boys, boys! Please! This fighting over me has got to stop!
** Who: Cindy Vortex
** Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 2: When Nerds Collide'' (2006)

* Okay, give him his brain back, boys.
** Who: Cindy Vortex
** Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 3: The Jerkinators'' (2006)

=== ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' specials ===

* Me too!
** Who: Sour Sweet
** Source: ''Dance Magic'' (2017)

* Uh, sorry.
** Who: Human Rainbow Dash
** Source: ''Movie Magic'' (2017)

* Right.
** Who: Starlight Glimmer
** Source: ''Mirror Magic'' (2017)

* Oh, come on! Seriously?!
** Who: Human Rainbow Dash
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Forgotten Friendship'' (2018)

* If you’re up for it.
** Who: Human Rarity
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rollercoaster of Friendship'' (2018)

* We’re baaaack!
** Who: Sunset Shimmer
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Spring Breakdown'' (2019)

* Yeah, I guess it would’ve been!
** Who: Human Pinkie Pie
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Sunset's Backstage Pass'' (2020)

=== ''[[Miraculous Ladybug]]'' ===

* Hmm.
** Who: Monk
** Source: ''[[Miraculous World: New York – United Heroez]]'' (2020)

* Coming to China, I found so much more than I'd ever hoped for: an amazing uncle, a new friend, and a new Mandarin teacher.
** Who: Marinette Dupain-Cheng
** Source: ''[[Miraculous World: Shanghai – The Legend of Ladydragon]]'' (2020)

=== ''Peanuts'' ===

* Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!
** Who: Everyone
** Source: ''[[A Charlie Brown Christmas]]'' (1965)

* My grandmother lives in a condominium.
** Who: Charlie Brown
** Source: ''[[A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving]] (1973)

* To read Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky. Happy New Year, Charlie Brown.
** Who: [[w:Linus van Pelt|Linus van Pelt]]
** Source: ''[[Happy New Year, Charlie Brown]]'' (1986)

* Ah...the Easter Beagle...
** Who: Lucy van Pelt
** Source: ''[[It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown]]'' (1974)

* STUPID? What do you mean &quot;stupid&quot;?! Just wait till next year, Charlie Brown! You'll see! Next year at this same time, I'll find a pumpkin patch that is *real* sincere and I'll sit in that pumpkin patch until the Great Pumpkin appears. He'll rise out of that pumpkin patch and he'll fly through the air with his bag of toys. The Great Pumpkin will appear and I'll be waiting for him! I'll be there! I'll be sitting there in that pumpkin patch... and I'll see the Great Pumpkin. Just wait and see, Charlie Brown. I'll see that Great Pumpkin. I'll SEE the Great Pumpkin! Just you wait, Charlie Brown. The Great Pumpkin will appear, and I'll be waiting for him...!
** Who: Linus van Pelt
** Source: ''[[It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown]]'' (1966)

* Grandma?
** Who: Linus van Pelt
** Source: ''Happiness is a Warm Blanket, Charlie Brown'' (2011)

* Charlie Brown, get your stupid dog to stop playing this music!
** Who: Lucy van Pelt
** Source: ''[[It's the Pied Piper, Charlie Brown]]'' (2000)

=== ''Rankin/Bass'' ===

* Merry Christmas! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
** Who: Santa Claus
** Source: ''[[Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (TV special)|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]'' (1964)

* Aaron's heart was filled with joy and love. And he knew at last that the hate he had carried there was wrong. As ALL hatred will ever be wrong. For more powerful, more beautiful by far than all the eons of sadness and cruelty and desolation which had come before, was that one tiny, crystalline second of laughter. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
** Who: Our Storyteller
** Source: ''[[The Little Drummer Boy (film)|The Little Drummer Boy]]'' (1968)

* I'll be back on Christmas Day!
** Who: Frosty
** Source: ''[[Frosty the Snowman (TV special)|Frosty the Snowman]]'' (1969)

* Merry Christmas!
** Who: Children
** Source: ''[[Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (film)|Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town]]'' (1970)

* Happy Easter Day!
** Who: Everyone
** Source: ''[[Here Comes Peter Cottontail]]'' (1971)

* Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
** Who: Santa Claus
** Source: ''[['Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974 TV special)|'Twas the Night Before Christmas]]'' (1974)

* I dreamed unhappy things!
** Who: Santa Claus
** Source: ''[[The Year Without a Santa Claus]]'' (1974)

* And frosty, too!
** Who: Frosty and Crystal
** Source: ''[[Frosty's Winter Wonderland]]'' (1976)

* And may it be shiny, too!
** Who: Rudolph
** Source: ''[[Rudolph's Shiny New Year]]'' (1976)

* Okay!
** Who: Rudolph
** Source: ''[[Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July]]'' (1979)

* And so, the folks of Beansborough got their winter carnival after all. A tradition was saved. Summer Wheeze was permanently canned, and Mr. Twitchell decided to make sleds instead of trouble. He should have known he was no match for Mother Nature, or a little girl like Holly. Next stop: Winnipeg. Nice town, plenty of parking space, and lots of cocoa.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Frosty Returns]]'' (1992)

=== ''Marvel Rising'' franchise ===

=== ''Thomas and Friends'' specials ===

* Emily was delighted. That night, the engines talked about steamies, diesels, and airplanes, and they all agreed that Tidmouth sheds was the best place to be.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Calling All Engines]]'' (2005)

* But we're ALL leaders of the track!
* And he couldn't have been happier!
** Who 1: Thomas
** Who 2: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|The Great Discovery]]'' (2008)

* I know, Thomas. Thank you.
** Who: Hiro
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Hero of the Rails]]'' (2008)

* And everyone giggled and jiggled.
** Who: The narrator
* (post-credits:) You'll be laughing on the other side of your boilers soon, silly steamies! ''(evil laugh)'' Yes...
** Who: Diesel 10
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Misty Island Rescue]]'' (2010)
** Note: The latter aforementioned line leads into the events of ''Day of the Diesels''. 

* And the two best friends giggled and jiggled with joy.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Day of the Diesels]]'' (2011)

* And no engine whistled louder than Thomas and Luke!
** Who: The narrator
* (in-credits:) It's me!
** Who: Rheneas
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Blue Mountain Mystery]]'' (2012)

* Knights in Shining Armor, on your mark, get set, go!
** Who: Sir Robert Norramby
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|King of the Railway]]'' (2013)

* Percy was sad to say goodbye to his new friend, but he was happy that he had his old friends beside him.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Tale of the Brave]]'' (2014)

* But I'm not Mr. Coffee Pot, my name is Glynn.
** Who: Glynn
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|The Adventure Begins]]'' (2015)

* One, two, threeeeeeeee!!!
** Who: Scuba divers' captain
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure]]'' (2015)

* Good idea! You ''are'' clever. Sometimes.
** Who: Ashima
* (in-credits:) OVER HERE! I'M FULL OF SURPRISES...!
** Who: Diesel
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|The Great Race]]'' (2016)

* What did I miss?
** Who: Henry
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Journey Beyond Sodor]]'' (2017)

* Thomas?
** Who: Ace
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Big World! Big Adventures!]]'' (2018)

=== ''Winnie the Pooh'' specials ===

* No worry! Take your time! Yum, yum!
** Who: Winnie the Pooh
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree]]'' (1966)

* And Piglet, too!
** Who: Piglet
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day]]'' (1968)

* Come on, everybody! Bounce!
** Who: Rabbit
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too]]'' (1974)

* Of course you are. Silly old bear.
** Who: Christopher Robin
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh and a Day for Eeyore]]'' (1983)

* And so it was the most thankful day of Thanksgiving, for of all the things we've had or ever liked, the grandest thing we shall ever have is one another... or so it was said, by a bear named Winnie the Pooh.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''A Winnie the Pooh Thanksgiving'' (1998)

* And so as winter changes into spring, which changes into summer, there are things which go on forever unchanging, such as the way a certain boy cares for a certain bear. And we will know for as long as we care to remember, that somewhere in that enchanted place, on top of the forest... a boy and his bear... will always be playing.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''Winnie the Pooh: A Valentine for You'' (1999)

=== ''Winx Club'' specials ===

* I AM A FAIRY!!!
** Who: Bloom
** Source: ''Winx Club: The Fate of Bloom'' (2011)

* The Trix took the Dragon Flame!
** Who: Bloom
** Source: ''Winx Club: Revenge of the Trix'' (2011)

* I don't know, but I guess we'll find out... together.
** Who: Sky
** Source: ''Winx Club: The Battle for Magix'' (2011)

* Get over here!
** Who: Bloom
** Source: ''Winx Club: The Shadow Phoenix'' (2011)

[[Category:Last lines|Animated films]]</text>
      <sha1>8etaywcz7pckmpip5hby3y4rywxcct5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149199</id>
      <parentid>3149198</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:31:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:81:8500:E190:848F:8B78:18DC:AED7</ip>
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      <comment>/* Care Bears film series */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="85707" xml:space="preserve">== Animated films ==

* I'm not sure, exactly. But this world is ours now. It's what we make of it.
** Who: 9
** Source: ''[[9 (2009 animated film)|9]]'' (2009)

* Stop attacking me! Why do you always have to attack me now?! Sit, stay, sit!
** Who: King Llort
** Source: ''[[A Troll in Central Park]]'' (1994)

* No laughing. I’m serious.
** Who: Nai Nai
** Source: ''[[Abominable (2019 film)|Abominable]]'' (2019)

* Man, I'm getting out of here.
** Who: [[w:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]]
** Source: ''[[The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad]]'' (1949)

* Bye-bye!
** Who: Rocky
** Source: ''[[The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle]]'' (2000)

* He'll be back.
** Who: Charlie B. Barkin
** Source: ''[[All Dogs Go to Heaven]]'' (1989)

* Hey, guys! I worked a little magic.
** Who: David
** Source: ''[[All Dogs Go to Heaven 2]]'' (1996)

* Buh-bye!
** Who: Fievel and Tanya Mousekewitz
** Source: ''[[An American Tail]]'' (1986)

* I think one day you'll find... that you're the hero you've been lookin'for.
** Who: Wylie
** Source: ''[[An American Tail: Fievel Goes West]]'' (1991)

* Huh? Wow!
** Who: Fievel Mousekewitz
** Source: ''[[An American Tail: The Treasure of Manhattan Island]]'' (1998)

* Sweet dreams, my little Fievel. Sweet dreams.
** Who: Mama Mousekewitz
** Source: ''[[An American Tail: The Mystery of the Night Monster]]'' (1999)

* So long, everybody.
** Who: Bartok
** Source: ''[[Anastasia (1997 film)|Anastasia]]'' (1997)

* To the animals, it now seemed that their world, which may or may not some day become a happy place to live in, was worse than ever for ordinary creatures, and another moment had come when they must do something about it...
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Animal Farm (1954 film)|Animal Farm]]'' (1954)

* There you have it. Your average 'boy-meets-girl, boy-likes-girl, boy-changes-underlying-social-order' story. So, what else can I tell you? We rebuilt the colony - it's even better than before, you know, 'cause now it has a very large indoor swimming pool. Bala and I, incidentally, are thinking of starting a family. You know, just a few kids, maybe a million or two to begin with. And I'm, I'm workin' with a new therapist, you know, terrific, absolutely terrific. He's, he's been putting me in touch with my inner maggot, which is helping me a great deal. And, you know, I finally feel like I've found my place. And you know what? It's right back where I started. But the difference is, this time I chose it.
** Who: Z
** Source: ''[[Antz]]'' (1998)

* Wait a minute. I'm the leader. I'll say when it's the end. It's the end.
** Who: Napoleon
** Source: ''[[The Aristocats]]'' (1970)

* So long, folks.
** Who: Bartok
** Source: ''[[Bartok the Magnificent]]'' (1999)

* I am.
** Who: Andrea Beaumont
** Source: ''[[Batman: Mask of the Phantasm]]'' (1993)

* Tool.
** Who: Butt-head
** Source: ''[[Beavis and Butt-head Do America]]'' (1996)

* Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office.
** Who: Barry Benson
* (post-credits:) I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
** Who: Barry Benson
** Source: ''[[Bee Movie]]'' (2007)

* We didn't set out to be superheroes... But sometimes, life doesn't go the way you planned. The good thing is, my brother wanted to help a lot of people, and that's what we're gonna do. Who are we?
** Who: Hiro Hamada
* (post-credits:) We have a lot to talk about.
** Who: Fred's Dad
** Source: ''[[Big Hero 6]]'' (2014) 

* Nope. I've never seen him before in my life.
** Who: A pigeon
** Source: ''[[Bolt (2008 film)|Bolt]]'' (2008)

* Yep.
** Who: Doli
** Source: ''[[The Black Cauldron (film)|The Black Cauldron]]'' (1985)

* Bye!
** Who: Steve and Blue
** Source: ''[[Blue's Big Musical Movie]]'' (2000)

* Yay! They're staying! Let's do this....
** Who: Scoop
** Source: ''[[Bob The Builder: Mega Machines The Movie]]'' (2017)

* Hi there, baby sister.
** Who: Timothy's daughter
* (mid-credits:) Okay.
** Who: Mrs. Templeton
* (post-credits:) Wake up, little halflings. It's time to leave. Go and live your peasant lives. BE GONE WITH YOU!
** Who: Wizzie
** Source: ''[[The Boss Baby]]'' (2017)

* There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own, but I know better. Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.
** Who: Merida
* (post-credits:) Delivery! Sign here, sign here! Come on, birdbrain! Haven't got all day!
** Who: The Crow
** Source: ''[[Brave (2012 film)|Brave]]'' (2012)

* My brother Kenai went on to live with Koda and the other bears. He taught me that love is very powerful. And I passed on the wisdom of his story to our people. The story of a boy who became a man...by becoming a bear.
** Who: Old Denahi
* (post-credits) Cut, cut. Ooh.
** Who: Koda
** Source: ''[[Brother Bear]]'' (2003)

* Present stalks! Harvester, salute!
** Who: Thorny
* (in-credits:) Spinning a web of safety in less in 15... Ow!
** Who: P.T.
** Source: ''[[A Bug's Life]]'' (1998)

* TRA-LA-LAAAAAAAA!!!
** Who: Captain Underpants/Mr. Krupp
* (in-credits:) NO!
** Who: Secretary
** Source: ''[[Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie]]'' (2017)

* Get a picture, boys. These kids will be making history!
** Who: L.B. Mammoth
* Hmph!
** Who: Darla Dimple
** Source: ''[[Cats Don't Dance]]'' (1997)

* Wilbur never forgot Charlotte. Although he loved her children and grandchildren dearly, none of the new spiders ever quite took her place in his heart. She was in a class by herself. It's not often that someone comes along who's a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Charlotte's Web (1973 film)|Charlotte's Web]]'' (1973)

*Oh, Ace!
**Who: Movie Abby
**Source: ''[[Chicken Little (2005 film)|Chicken Little]]'' (2005)

* Hang on. Let's go over this again?
** Who: Fetcher
* (in-credits:) I don't know.
** Who: Nick
** Source: ''[[Chicken Run]]'' (2000)

* ALVINNNN!
** Who: Dave Seville
** Source: ''[[The Chipmunk Adventure]]'' (1987)

* Coco!
** Who: Héctor
** Source: ''[[Coco (2017 film)|Coco]]'' (2017)

* Well, so long, glamor boy!
** Who: Jim Crow
** Source: ''[[Dumbo]]'' (1941)

* I'm so proud of you guys.
** Who: Kronk
** Source: ''[[The Emperor's New Groove]]'' (2000)

* Oh, how cute.
** Who: Yzma
** Source: ''[[Kronk's New Groove]]'' (2005)

* To kindness and love, the things we need most!
** Who: [[w:The Grinch|The Grinch]]
** Source: ''[[The Grinch (film)|Dr. Seuss' The Grinch]]'' (2018)

* Well, come on, Baggy buddy! Let's get back to where we belong. And get with the beat!
** Who: Baloo
** Source: ''[[The Jungle Book (1967 film)|The Jungle Book]]'' (1967)

* Yeah, man!
** Who: Baloo
** Source: ''[[The Jungle Book 2]]'' (2003)

* And so, all ended well for both Horton and Whos. And for all in the jungle, even Kangaroos. So let that be a lesson to one and to all. A person's a person. No matter how small.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Horton Hears a Who! (film)|Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!]]'' (2008)

* You done good, Beanpole. You done good. By the way, nice mustache.
** Who: [[w:The Lorax|The Lorax]]
** Source: ''[[The Lorax (film)|Dr. Seuss' The Lorax]]'' (2012)

* Somebody! Stop those pants!
** Who: Scrooge McDuck
** Source: ''[[DuckTales|DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp]]'' (1990)

* Aw, shit cunt!
** Who: Spanky Ham
** Source: ''[[The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie!]]'' (2010)

* Go fish.
** Who: Smiler
** Source: ''[[The Emoji Movie]]'' (2017)

* Everyone together...
* La Familia Madrigal!
** Who: Abuela Alma Madrigal
** Who 2: The Madrigals
** Source: ''[[Encanto (film)|Encanto]]'' (2021)

* Mmm... that was a good toast.
** Who: Ash
** Source: ''[[Fantastic Mr. Fox (film)|Fantastic Mr. Fox]]'' (2009)

* Yeah, forever.
** Who: Copper
** Source: ''[[The Fox and the Hound]]'' (1981)

* Yeah. Well, good night, Willie. Don't slam the roof. You might wake Mr. Bergen.
** Who: Mortimer
** Source: ''[[Fun and Fancy Free]]'' (1947)

* Enchante, Madamoiselle!
** Who: Goofy
** Source: ''[[A Goofy Movie]]'' (1995)

* You know, somehow I knew you would. Ah-yuck!
** Who: Goofy
** Source: ''[[An Extremely Goofy Movie]]'' (2000)

* Arlo!
** Who: Momma Ida
** Source: ''[[The Good Dinosaur]]'' (2015)

* From that time on, Basil and I were a close team, and over the years we had many cases together. But I shall always look back on that first with the most fondness: My introduction to Basil of Baker Street: ''The Great Mouse Detective.''
** Who: Dawson
** Source: ''[[The Great Mouse Detective]]'' (1986)

* Yeah, things are looking up around here now.
** Who: Pokey
** Source: ''[[Gumby: The Movie]]'' (1995)

* That's Phil's boy!
** Who: The Strong Man
* (post-credits:) What d'ya say? It's happy ending time! Everybody's got a little taste of something, but me! I got nothin'! I'm, I'm here with nothin'! Anybody listenin'? It's like I'm... What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what, hyperspace? Hello, it's me! Nobody listens.
** Who: Hades
** Source: ''[[Hercules (1997 film)|Hercules]]'' (1997)

* Show's over, Eugene.
** Who: Gerald Johanssen
** Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!: The Movie]]'' (2002)

* Everybody smile.
** Who: Lucy Tucci
** Source: ''[[Home (2015 film)|Home]]'' (2015) 

* Don't you ever migrate?
** Who: Laverne
* (post-credits:) Good night, everybody! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
** Who: Hugo
** Source: ''[[The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996 film)|The Hunchback of Notre Dame]]'' (1996)

* And I love Quasimodo!!
** Who: Madellaine
** Source: ''[[The Hunchback of Notre Dame II]]'' (2002)

* We've been through a lot lately, that's for sure. But we still love our girl. She has great new friends, a great new house. Things couldn't be better. After all, Riley's twelve now. What could happen?
** Who: Joy
* (in-credits:) No! Not this again!
** Who: Bus Driver's Emotions
** Source: ''[[Inside Out (2015 film)|Inside Out]]'' (2015)

* See you later.
** Who: Hogarth Hughes
** Source: ''[[The Iron Giant]]'' (1999)

* I take it back.
** Who: Jane
** Source: ''[[Is It College Yet?]]'' (2002)

* Oh!
** Who: Helen
** Source: ''[[Is It Fall Yet?]]'' (2000)

* And that is exactly what you had just seen.
** Who: Old Man
** Source: ''[[James and the Giant Peach]]'' (1996)

* Ah, the fucking autopilot's broke!
** Who: Jay
** Source: ''[[Jay &amp; Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie]]'' (2013)

* Onward, Mr Wiggles. We reach the cafeteria by dawn. Waaaaah!
** Who: Ms. Winifred Fowl
** Source: ''[[Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (film)|Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2001)

* Listen to them, Soren. They want more stories. Well, come on, you lot. Let's not disappoint them. Ah. There's a good storm brewing. And if we're lucky, I'll be chock full of baggywrinkles.
** Who: Ezylryb
** Source: ''[[Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole]]'' (2010)

* Never too big. You will always be my Little Bear.
** Who: Mother Bear
** Source: ''[[The Little Bear Movie]]'' (2001)

* That does it, Charlie Brown! He is your dog, and you're welcome to him.
** Who: Lucy Van Pelt
** Source: ''[[Snoopy, Come Home]]'' (1972)

* Let's go, bulls!
** Who: [[w:Bill Murray|Bill Murray]]
* (post-credits:) Can l go home now?
** Who: [[w:Michael Jordan|Michael Jordan]]
** Source: ''[[Space Jam]]'' (1996)

* Th-th-th-that's all, folks!
** Who: [[w:Porky Pig|Porky Pig]]
** Source: ''[[Space Jam: A New Legacy]]'' (2021)

* Nice work. See you tomorrow!
** Who: Director
* Go home, folks.
** Who: [[w:Porky Pig|Porky Pig]]
** Source: ''[[Looney Tunes: Back in Action]]'' (2003)

* WILMA!
** Who: [[w:Fred Flintstone|Fred Flintstone]]
** Source: ''[[The Man Called Flintstone]]'' (1966)

* In the state of Texas, USA, life still goes on in the same old way. The Pecos River still flows on, but the greatest cowboy on earth is gone. Yeah, Bill went back to the coyotes, but he never forgot Sue. Every night when the moon was high, he'd lift his voice in a mournful cry, bewailing the fate of his lady fair, his long-lost love in the sky up there. So painful was his grief to see, the varmints joined in out of sympathy. That's how come, to this very day, coyotes howl at the moon that way.
** Who: Roy Rogers
** Source: ''[[Melody Time]]'' (1948)

* Bravo, my friends! Our three heroes have finally made their dream come true. I think this calls for one more song!
** Who: Troubadour
** Source: ''[[Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers]]'' (2004)

* Gee, thanks for letting us share our Christmas spirit with you. [laughs] Merry Christmas, everybody!
** Who: Mickey Mouse
** Source: ''[[w:Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed in the House of Mouse|Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed in at the House of Mouse]]'' (2001)

* Aw, phooey!
** Who: Donald Duck
** Source: ''[[Mickey's House of Villains]]'' (2002)

* So in the end, love is the reason that Christmas is more than a gift-giving season. It's a time with our loved ones to show that we care, When families and neighbors come together to share. So, this Christmas season, let us all do our parts To keep Christmas spirit alive in our hearts.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: '' ''[[Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas]]'' (1999)

* So, at last, Mickey learned what he'd missed from the start. Bells and holly mean little without friends in your heart. The magic of Christmas has its rhyme and its reason. We hope you and yours have a most joyous season.
** Who: Narrator
* Ho ho ho!
** Who: Santa Claus
** Source: '' ''[[Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas]]'' (2004)

* Welcome home!
** Who: A villager
* (post-credits:) Didn't help me though, did it? Still upside down here. Just need a little push. Can we be real? If my name was Sebastian and I had a cool Jamacian accent, you'd totally help me. You would. You know you would.
** Who: Tamatoa 
** Source: ''[[Moana (2016 film)|Moana]]'' (2016)
** Note: He is last seen after the credits, where he is still trapped and struggling to get off his shell, but to no avail. He asks the audience for assistance, and sarcastically quips that if his name was &quot;Sebastian&quot; and he had a Jamaican accent, the audience would feel happy to help him out (the reference to the supporting character of the same name from Disney's [[w:The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]). It is unknown if he ever got back up or if he starved.

* Wait, wait, wait, wa-wa-wait?! You were dating Derek, too?! That two-timing jerk!
** Who: B.O.B.
* (mid-credits:) Time to wave the white flag and head for the bunker, boys. Let's check the situation in 500 years! Who wants to freeze my head?
** Who: President Hathaway
** Source: ''[[Monsters vs. Aliens]]'' (2009)

* Mushu!
** Who: Great Ancestor
** Source: ''[[Mulan (1998 film)|Mulan]]'' (1998)

* Does a hero dragon deserve anything less? Draw my bath! Warm my towels! Let the pampering begin!
** Who: Mushu
** Source: ''[[Mulan II]]'' (2004)

* Okay! That is the most awesome name ever!
** Who: Pinkie Pie
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: The Movie (2017 film)|My Little Pony: The Movie]]'' (2017)

* I can't think of anything better.
** Who: Madison
** Source: ''My Scene Goes Hollywood: The Movie'' (2005)

* And the moral of our story is...
** Who: Yakko Warner
** Source: ''Wakko's Wish'' (1999)

* What a delightful scoundrel.
** Who: Winston
** Source: ''[[Oliver &amp; Company]]'' (1988)

* Whoa-ho, yeah-ha!
** Who: Barley Lightfoot
** Source: ''[[Onward (film)|Onward]]'' (2020)

* Left foot, right foot... Ah, who needs feet when you got fins! Whoo-hoo!
** Who: Tanglefoot
** Source: ''[[Ooops! Noah Is Gone...]]'' (2015)

* Oh, well. Out with the old, in with the new, huh?
** Who: Frank Detorre
** Source: ''[[Osmosis Jones]]'' (2001)

* There's a secret between you and me, Baby.
** Who: Higgins
** Source: ''[[The Outback (2012 film)|The Outback]]'' (2012)

* Shoot!
** Who: RJ
** Source: ''[[Over the Hedge]]'' (2006)

* And Liberty!
** Who: Liberty
** Source: ''[[PAW Patrol: The Movie]]'' (2021)

* Wait, wait, wait!
** Who: Phineas Flynn
** Source: ''[[Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension]]'' (2011)

* Well, I'll be! Ho-ho-ho! My, my! Solid gold, too. Oh, I think it's swell.
** Who: Jiminy Cricket
** Source: ''[[Pinocchio (1940 film)|Pinocchio]]'' (1940)

* Godspeed, John.
** Who: Thomas
** Source: ''[[Pocahontas (1995 film)|Pocahontas]]'' (1995)

* At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell. But as years passed, it felt silent for all of them. Even Sarah found, one Christmas, that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me. As it does for all who truly believe.
** Who: Adult Hero Boy
** Source: ''[[The Polar Express]]'' (2004)

* Sure!
** Who: Evie and Tori
** Source: ''PollyWorld'' (2006)

* Sugar, spice, and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl. But, Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction. Chemical X. Thus, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup were born. Using their ultra-super powers, they've dedicated their lives to fighting crime, and the forces of evil. And so for the very first time the day is saved thanks to... the Powerpuff Girls! Hey, that's a good name for them! Powerpuff Girls! Yeah! I like that! Wonder if ''they will?'' I'll run it by them. Powerpuff Girls! Mmm-hmm.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls Movie]]'' (2002)

* Well, I waited this long.
** Who: Charlotte LaBouff
** Source: ''[[The Princess and the Frog]]'' (2009)

* Yeah!
** Who: Background character
* (mid-credits 1) And gullible. I forgot to mention gullible.
** Who: [[w:Lucy|Lucy]]
* (mid-credits 2) A round of root beer for our hero the Flying Ace.
** Who: [[w:Marcie|Marcie]]
** Source: ''[[The Peanuts Movie]]'' (2015)

* Well done, Ayden.
** Who: Merlin
** Source: ''[[Quest for Camelot]]'' (1998)

* (theatrical version:) Rango!
** Who: The Mariachi Owls
* (extended version:) My fellow comrades. There will be times when you doubt yourself. When you feel pummeled by the catalclysms of life, remember this moment. Remember me. Know that I will be there, watching you... sometimes at inappropriate moments. That's part of the deal. And remember, that within all of us resides the true Spirit of We- Woah! Let's take it from the top.
** Who: Rango
** Source: ''[[Rango (2011 film)|Rango]]'' (2011)

* Hey, believe me, that story gets better when I tell it, okay? Come on! Bring some food over here, we're starving!
** Who: Django
** Source: ''[[Ratatouille]]'' (2007)

* Ba, welcome to Kumandra.
** Who: Raya
** Source: ''[[Raya and the Last Dragon]]'' (2021)

* Oh we're not late. We'll never going to be late again.
** Who: Rigby
** Source: ''[[Regular Show: The Movie]]'' (2015)

* Aw, phooey! Phooey!
** Who: Robert Benchley
** Source: ''[[The Reluctant Dragon (1941 film)|The Reluctant Dragon]]'' (1941)

* My name is Jack Frost, and I'm a Guardian. How do I know that? Because the Moon told me so. So when the Moon tells you something... ''believe it''.
** Who: Jack Frost
** Source: ''[[Rise of the Guardians]]'' (2012)

* Chel, we're not on the horse!
** Who: Tulio
** Source: ''[[The Road to El Dorado]]'' (2000)

* Well, folks, that's the way it really happened.
** Who: [[w:Alan-a-Dale|Allan-a-Dale]]
** Source: ''[[Robin Hood (1973 film)|Robin Hood]]'' (1973)

* Wait a minute, wait a minute! I-I-I was on the list! Come on, don't you know who I am? Wait! Whoa!
** Who: Tim the Gate Guard
** Source: ''[[Robots (2005 film)|Robots]]'' (2005)

* Hey, Edmond!
** Who: Chanticleer
** Source: ''[[Rock-a-Doodle]]'' (1991)

* As long as we're together. I'm ready to get baked and do anything.
** Who: Brenda
** Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)

* Thank you, Max.
** Who: Duke
* (mid-credits:) I'm home, Leonard. Were you a good boy, Leonard?
** Who: Leonard's Owner
* (post-credits:) All right, party's over!
** Who: Pops
** Source: ''[[The Secret Life of Pets]]'' (2016)

* Bye bye, momma and dada.
** Who: Liam
* (mid-credits:) Snowball, I'm back!
** Who: Molly
* (post-credits:) Okay. Moment's over.
** Who: Rooster
** Source: ''[[The Secret Life of Pets 2]]'' (2019)

* Oh, no!
** Who: Martin
** Source: ''[[The Secret of NIMH]]'' (1982)

* You got served!
** Who: The Shrimp
* Did somebody say CRAZY?!
** Who: Crazy Joe
* What you doing? Go on, get outta here! Go home! It's past your bedtime!
** Who: Mrs. Sanchez
** Source: ''[[Shark Tale]]'' (2004)

* Thanks, boy. Steady. Whoo-hoo!
** Who: Homer Simpson
* (mid-credits:) Smithers, I don't believe in suicides, but if you like to try, it would cheer me up to watch.
** Who: Mr. Burns
* (mid-credits 2:) This is Tom Hanks saying if you see me in person, please leave me be.
** Who: ''[[w:Tom Hanks|Tom Hanks]]''
* (in-credits:) Sequel?
** Who: Maggie Simpson
* (post-credits:) Four years of film school for this?
** Who: Squeaky-Voiced Teen
** Source: ''[[The Simpsons Movie]]'' (2007)

* All creatures great and small, welcome to the New Moon Theater!
** Who: Buster Moon
** Source: ''[[Sing (2016 film)|Sing]]'' (2016)

* Blue!
** Who: Merryweather
** Source: ''[[Sleeping Beauty]]'' (1957)

* Pro: if you go down there you'll meet lots of people. Con: Uh, you're not really a people person. Ugh, this is torture!
** Who: Fleem 
* (mid-credits:) Okay in 3, 2... On the next episode of... Wait am I missing a tooth?
** Who: Percy Patterson
** Source: ''[[Smallfoot (film)|Smallfoot]]'' (2018) 

* Blue cheese!
** Who: Everyone 
* (in-credits:) Am I going mad, Azrael? For the last time, get them to shut off this music!
** Who: [[w:Gargamel|Gargamel]]
** Source: ''[[Smurfs: The Lost Village]]'' (2017)

* Goodbye!
** Who: [[w:Snow White (Disney character)|Snow White]]
** Source: ''[[Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]'' (1937)

* Look!
** Who: Kyle Broflovski
* (post-credits:) Guys out there is hurted.
** Who: Ike Broflovski
** Source: ''[[South Park: Bigger, Longer &amp; Uncut]]'' (1999)

* I think I can handle it.
** Who: Chihiro Ogino (Sen)
** Source: ''[[Spirited Away]]'' (2001)
** Note: This line (per above) was heard in the English dub. The original Japanese dub's final line is &quot;Chihiro, let's get to our new home.&quot;

* Miles! Miles! Do you have a minute?
** Who: Gwen Stacy / Spider-Gwen
* You haven't seen pointing until I'm finished with you!
* You're accusing me of pointing while you're...!
** Who 1: Peter Parker / 1967 Spider-Man
** Who 2: Miguel O'Hara / 2099 Spider-Man
** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse]]'' (2018)

* You think you could handle them? They're not exactly easy to get along with.
** Who: Steven
** Source: ''[[Steven Universe: The Movie]]'' (2019)

* You love it.
** Who: Tulip
** Source: ''[[Storks (film)|Storks]]'' (2016)

* We did it. We really did it! Woo-hoo! Come on, guys! Yeah!
** Who: Richard
** Source: ''[[A Stork’s Journey]]'' (2017)

* Well, uh.... that's something like television. Without commercials.
** Who: Merlin
** Source: ''[[The Sword in the Stone (film)|The Sword in the Stone]]'' (1963)

* Yes, we are.
** Who: [[w:Flynn Rider|Eugene Fitzherbert]]
** Source: ''[[Tangled]]'' (2010)

* Ooo-ooo-ee-ah-ooo.
** Who: Jane Porter
** Source: ''[[Tarzan (1999 film)|Tarzan]]'' (1999)

* Woof!
** Who: Spot Helperman
** Source: ''[[Teacher's Pet (2004 film)|Teacher's Pet]]'' (2004)

* Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT! KIDS, ASK YOUR PARENTS WHERE BABIES COME FROM!
** Who: 2013 Robin
* (mid-credits:) This is the ''[[Teen Titans (TV series)|Teen Titans]]''! Can anyone hear us? We think we found a way back!
** Who: 2003 Robin
* Challengers! I believe we may have missed the motion picture!
** Who: Unknown Challenger
** Source: ''[[Teen Titans Go! To the Movies]]'' (2018)

* Avengers! Assemble!
** Who: James Rogers
** Source: ''Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow'' (2008)

* And of course, they lived happily ever after.
** Who: Jacquimo
** Source: ''[[Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]'' (1994)

* We live together, we train together, we fight together, we stand for good, together. We are Ninjas. We strike hard, defend, protect and fade into the night. And there ain't no bad guy or monster gonna ever change that: That's what's important. And that's why we'll always be brothers. Oh, I love bein' a turtle.
** Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
** Source: ''[[TMNT (film)|TMNT]]'' (2007)

* Tom! Jerry! Welcome to your new home!
** Who: Robyn Starling
** Source: ''[[Tom and Jerry: The Movie]]'' (1992)

* Til All Are One!, Till All Are One!, Till All Are One!
** Who: The Autobots
** Source: ''[[The Transformers: The Movie]]'' (1986)

* Up high!
** Who: Cloud Guy
* (in-credits:) But wait, wait, wait.
** Who: Creek
** Source: ''[[Trolls (film)|Trolls]]'' (2016)
** Note: After Poppy and the other Trolls make peace with the Bergens, Creek, along with Chef is knocked out of the Bergen castle. Chef then betrays Creek by trying to eat him, but before this can happen, both are eaten alive by a hill monster.

* Glitter!
** Who: Queen Barb
* (in-credits:) But who gonna eat my cheese balls, babe?
** Who: King Gristle, Jr.
** Source: ''[[Trolls World Tour]]'' (2020)

* And it looks like the winner is...
** Who: Sports Announcer
** Source: ''[[Turbo (film)|Turbo]]'' (2013)

* We've all got an inner beast. We've all got a messy, loud, weird part of ourselves hidden away. And a lot of us never let it out. But I did. How about you?
** Who: Mei Lee
** Source: ''[[Turning Red]]'' (2022)

* She's gonna be so excited.
** Who: Father of Moxy's owner
** Source: ''[[Uglydolls]]'' (2019)

* Another blue one.
** Who: Russell
** Source: ''[[Up (2009 film)|Up]]'' (2009)

* Cheeeeeeeeeese!
** Who: Hutch the Rabbit
** Source: ''[[Wallace &amp; Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit|Wallace &amp; Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit]]'' (2005)

* This is called farming! You kids are gonna grow all kinds of plants! Vegetable plants, pizza plants! Oh, it's good to be home!
** Who: Captain B. McCrea
** Source: ''[[WALL-E]]'' (2008)

* Gotcha!
** Who: Alex
** Source: ''[[Walking with Dinosaurs (film)|Walking with Dinosaurs]]'' (2013)

* All the world will be your enemy, Prince of a Thousand enemies. And when they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you; digger, listener, runner, Prince with the swift warning. Be cunning, and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Watership Down (film)|Watership Down]]'' (1978)

* Alright, guys, let's eat! I'm gonna do syrup and honey.
** Who: Grizzly Bear
** Source: ''[[We Bare Bears: The Movie]]'' (2020)

* Nick!
** Who: Flash
* (in-credits:) Come on! Shake your tails with me, come on! Yeah!
** Who: Gazelle
** Source: ''[[Zootopia]]'' (2016)

=== ''101 Dalmatians'' film series ===

* I'm hungry, mother.
** Who: Roley
** Source: ''[[One Hundred and One Dalmatians]]''

* Say &quot;spots!&quot;
** Who: Photographer
** Source: ''[[101 Dalmatians II: Patch's London Adventure]]''

=== ''[[The Angry Birds Movie]]'' film series ===

* Guys! No!
** Who: Red
* (mid-credits:) Whoa!
** Who: Jay, Jake, and Jim
** Source: ''[[The Angry Birds Movie]]'' (2016)

* Jinx! Jinx! Jinx!
** Who: Chuck and Silver
* (in-credits:) Bye-bye.
** Who: Zoe's sister
** Source: ''[[The Angry Birds Movie 2]]'' (2019)

=== ''[[Aladdin]]'' film series ===

* Made ya look.
** Who: Genie
* (post-credits, special edition only:) You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!
** Who: Genie
** Source: ''[[Aladdin (1992 Disney film)|Aladdin]]'' (1992)

* Does this mean I don't get my third wish?
** Who: Abis Mal
** Source: ''[[The Return of Jafar]]'' (1994)

* Wait a minute. We're not gettin' outta here, man! We're not gettin' outta here! Don't ya understand it, man? This is it, game's over, man!
** Who: Genie
** Source: ''[[Aladdin and the King of Thieves]]'' (1996)

=== ''Bambi'' film series ===

* Well, I don't believe I've ever seen a more likely looking pair of fawns. Prince Bambi ought to be mighty proud.
** Who: Friend Owl
** Source: ''[[Bambi]]'' (1942)

* Actually, I was a lot like you.
** Who: The Great Prince of the Forest
** Source: ''[[Bambi II]]'' (2006)

=== ''Barbie'' film series ===

* I always knew you could.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie in the Nutcracker'' (2001)

* When you do that, you'll never go wrong.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie as Rapunzel'' (2002)

* Wouldn't miss it.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie of Swan Lake'' (2003)

* And, of course, Wolfie and Serafina lived happily ever after. Along with their many, many, many kittens.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper'' (2004)

* I can't believe it! I'm flying!
** Who: Elina
** Source: ''Barbie: Fairytopia'' (2005)

* I'm trying!
** Who: Blush
** Source: ''Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus'' (2005)

* Secret seaweed, huh? Oh, that is clever of you to remember that!
** Who: Dandilion
** Source: ''Barbie Fairytopia: Mermaidia'' (2006)

* Yes, Papa. I'm finally on time for something.
** Who: Genevieve
** Source: ''Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses'' (2006)

* Goodbye, Elina! I know you look forward to seeing me again!
** Who: Fabien
** Source: ''Barbie Fairytopia: Magic of the Rainbow'' (2007)

* (gasps) A princess!
** Who: Tika
** Source: ''Barbie as the Island Princess'' (2007)

* Bye-bye! Whee!
** Who: A Flutterpixie
** Source: ''Barbie: Mariposa'' (2008)

* Now, where were we?
* ''[singing]'' Oh-whoa-oh. Two voices, one song...
** Who: Barbie and Teresa
** Source: ''Barbie and the Diamond Castle'' (2008)

* I think that would be amazing, Kelly.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie in A Christmas Carol'' (2008)

* Right now, I've got somewhere else to be!
** Who: Corrinne
** Source: ''Barbie and the Three Musketeers'' (2008)
 
* Oopsie! Guess old habits die hard...girlfriend!
** Who: Raquelle
** Source: ''Barbie: A Fairy Secret'' (2011)

* Come on. I wanna introduce you to everyone!
** Who: Blair Willows/Princess Sophia
** Source: ''Barbie: Princess Charm School'' (2011)

* Merry Christmas!
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie: A Perfect Christmas'' (2011)

* Meribella! Put your hands up for me! Come on!
** Who: Keira
** Source: ''Barbie: The Princess &amp; The Popstar'' (2012)

* Come on, let's go!
** Who: Kristyn Farraday
** Source: ''Barbie In The Pink Shoes'' (2013)

* OK! Now, who's got the boarding passes?
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''Barbie and her Sisters: In a Pony Tale'' (2013)

* What on earth?
** Who: Bookhurst
** Source: ''Barbie and the Secret Door'' (2014)

* One, two, three, four!
** Who: Erika Juno
** Source: ''Barbie in Rock 'n Royals'' (2015)

* And thanks to Barbie, who was the one after all, everyone lived happily ever after.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''Barbie: Star Light Adventure'' (2016)

* How about you show me those moves?
** Who: Lindsey
** Source: ''Barbie &amp; Her Sisters in A Puppy Chase'' (2016)

* Look!
** Who: Chelsea
** Source: ''Barbie Dolphin Magic'' (2017)

* She's right. Barbie, I can't hold back any longer. I think I... wanna dance with you.
** Who: Ken
** Source: ''Barbie Princess Adventure'' (2020)

* New York! Emmie here, coming at you live from Times Square to announce the winner of the Spotlight Solo! Put your hands together for my friends, Barbie Roberts and Barbie Roberts! Otherwise known as Malibu and Brooklyn, the winners of the Spotlight Solo!
** Who: Emmie
** Source: ''Barbie: Big City, Big Dreams'' (2021)

=== ''[[w:Beauty and the Beast (franchise)|Beauty and the Beast]]'' film series ===

* Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard?
** Who: Chip Potts
** Source: ''[[Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|Beauty and the Beast]]'' (1991)

* I'd be delighted.
** Who: Fife
** Source: ''[[w:Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas|Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas]]'' (1997)

* And it begins, uh, Lumiere, with trust. Where, with mutual respect, as I have always said all relationships must be firmly based on that. One must build on a firm foundation of trust and respect in order to flourish and flow; nourish and grow. Always attentive to the needs of the other and honesty, utter honesty is the key on which...
** Who: Cogsworth
** Source: ''[[w:Belle's Magical World|Belle's Magical World]]'' (1998)

=== ''Bratz'' film series ===

* It was original, captivating, stylized, and told me so much about each one of you. You're all getting A+'s!
** Who: Mr. Del Rio
** Source: ''Bratz: Starrin' &amp; Stylin'' (2004)

* We’re the girls..
* With the passion for fashion!
* And...
* We...
* ROCK!
** Who: Jade, Cloe, Yasmin and Sasha
** Source: ''Bratz Rock Angelz'' (2005)

* Please, call me Henry, all right?
** Who: Gordon Murph
** Source: ''Bratz Babyz: The Movie'' (2006)

* So, after all that work and practice, we discovered that we were really good at a lot of different things. But, what we're best at is being best friends. By helping Anna win the contest, we all ended up winners and we felt like stars!
** Who: Sasha
** Source: ''Bratz Girlz Really Rock'' (2008)

=== ''Care Bears'' film series ===

* Care for me, Mrs. Cherrywood. Just care for me.
** Who: Mr. Cherrywood
** Source: ''[[The Care Bears Movie]]'' (1985)

* Yes, sir! Everything was back to the way it was. But, as always, it was just a little bit different, a little bit better, and a little bit more special—thanks to the Care Bears, the Care Bear Cousins, and thanks to... ''(laughs)'' Well, you all know who you are. I thank my lucky Stars that there are people out there like you who really do care. You're not afraid to share your feelings—and that, my friends, makes you all world-class Care Bear Champs!
** Who: The Great Wishing Star
** Source: ''[[Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation]]'' (1986)

* Goodbye!
** Who: The Care Bears
** Source: ''Care Bears: Journey to Joke-a-lot'' (2004)

* Twinkers, did you hear? Too Loud Bear finally got your name right!
** Who: Wish Bear
** Source: ''The Care Bears' Big Wish Movie'' (2005)

* You bet!
** Who: Cheer Bear
** Source: ''Care Bears: Oopsy Does It!'' (2007)

* Oopsy.
** Who: Oopsy Bear
** Source: ''Care Bears: To the Rescue'' (2010)

*Let's get this Giving Festival started!
** Who: Princess Starglo
** Source: ''Care Bears: The Giving Festival'' (2010)

*Later, gators, I've got stars to make!
** Who: Princess Starglo
** Source: ''Care Bears: Share Bear Shines'' (2011)

=== ''[[w:Cars (franchise)|Cars]]'' film series ===

* Yeah! Ka-chow!
** Who: Lightning McQueen
* (in-credits) Wait a minute here. They're just using the [[w:John Ratzenberger|same actor]] over and over. [[w:Pixar|What kind of a cut-rate production is this?!]]
** Who: Mack
* (post-credits:) NO! There's an on-ramp close! I KNOW IT! I CAN FEEL IT! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!
** Who: [[w:List_of_Cars_characters#Van and Minny|Van]]
** Source: ''[[Cars (film)|Cars]]'' (2006)

* Not if I see you first!
** Who: [[w:Mater (Cars)|Tow Mater]]
** Source: ''[[Cars 2]]'' (2011)

* Go!
** Who: Luigi
* (post-credits:) Hey, McQueen! You still there? McQueen! Ugh. Technology.
** Who: [[w:Mater (Cars)|Tow Mater]]
** Source: ''[[Cars 3]]'' (2017)

* Ha-ha, you're on!
** Who: Skipper
** Source: ''[[Planes (film)]]'' (2013)

* Ladies and gentleplanes! Turn your attention to the skies for today's featured aerial presentation! The Propwash Junction Corn Fest is proud to present the Piston Peak Air Attack team, and our very own world champion racer and firefighter, Dusty Crophopper!
** Who: Chug
* (in-credits:) Welcome to Death Valley National Park. Is it hot? ''(laughs weezily)'' Yes, it is.
** Who: Cad Spinner
* (post-credits:) Yay!
** Who: Drip
** Source: ''[[Planes: Fire &amp; Rescue]]'' (2014)

=== ''[[w:Cinderella (franchise)|Cinderella]]'' film series ===

* But, you see, I have the other slipper.
** Who: [[w:Cinderella (Disney character)|Cinderella]]
** Source: ''[[Cinderella (1950 film)|Cinderella]]'' (1950)

* Once upon a time, there was a big castle... and in this castle lived a prince and a princess...
** Who: Cinderella
** Source: ''[[Cinderella II: Dreams Come True]]'' (2002)

* And they lived happily ever after... again.
** Who: Cinderella
** Source: ''[[Cinderella III: A Twist in Time]]'' (2007)

=== ''[[w:The Croods (franchise)|The Croods]]'' film series ===

* Duh-duh-duh!
** Who: Belt and Sandy Crood
** Source: ''[[The Croods]]'' (2013)

* Dad was right after all, we were stronger together.
** Who: Eep Crood
** Source: ''[[The Croods: A New Age]]'' (2020)

=== ''[[w:DC Universe Animated Original Movies|DC Universe Animated Original Movies]]'' ===

* In other news, Gotham's mysterious defender...the Batman, was seen last night helping police apprehend the leaders...of an underworld, gun-running operation...
** Who: Summer Gleason
** Source: ''[[Batman and Mr. Freeze: Subzero]]'' (1998)
* Hi, old man.
** Who: Tim Drake
** Source: ''[[Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker]]'' (2000)
* Well, maybe an explosion now and then.
** Who: Kathy Duquesne
** Source: ''[[Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman]]'' (2003)
* If history has determined that gods can die... ...it has also proven that they may return from the dead. It would seem you can't be destroyed after all, Superman. It would seem.
** Who: Lex Luthor
** Source: ''[[Superman: Doomsday]]'' (2007)
* The pioneers gave up their safety, their comfort, and sometimes their lives to build our new west. They were determined to make the new world strong and free - an example to the world. Some would say that those struggles are all over. That all the horizons have been explored. That all the battles have been won. That there is no longer an American frontier. And we stand today on the edge of a new frontier. The frontier of unknown opportunities and perils. Beyond that frontier are uncharted areas of science. Unsolved problems of peace and war. Unconquered pockets of ignorance and prejudice. I'm asking each of you to be pioneers towards that New Frontier. My call is to the young in heart, regardless of age. Can we carry through in an age where we will witness not only new breakthroughs in weapons of destruction, but also a race for mastery of the sky and the rain, the ocean and the tides, the far side of space, and the inside of men's minds? All mankind waits upon out decision. A whole world waits to see what we shall do. And we cannot fail that trust, and we cannot fail to try.
** Who: John F. Kennedy
** Source: ''[[Justice League: The New Frontier]]'' (2008)

* Sir?
** Who: Alfred Pennyworth
** Source: ''[[Batman: Gotham Knight]]'' (2008)

* Look! It's Wonder Woman!
** Who: Little girl
** Source: ''[[Wonder Woman (2009 film)|Wonder Woman]]'' (2009)

* I've gotta go punch a clock with my other boss. I can see where this is gonna be a long commute.
** Who: Hal Jordan
** Source: ''[[Green Lantern: First Flight]]'' (2009)

* &quot;Late&quot;? Come on, it's... ...early.
** Who: Superman
** Source: ''[[Superman/Batman: Public Enemies]]'' (2009)

* I'm glad you agree. I've been thinking about a membership drive.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths]]'' (2010)

* It feels awesome! Check me out! I'm Robin, the Boy wonder! Are you kidding me? This rocks. Come on, old man, we've got bad guys who need chasing. This is the best day of my life.
** Who: Young Jason Todd/Robin
** Source: ''[[Batman: Under the Red Hood]]'' (2010)

* Hey.
** Who: Superman
** Source: ''[[Superman/Batman: Apocalypse]]'' (2010)

* He's not dead. He's up there fixing the sun. And when he's done, he'll be back.
** Who: Lois Lane
** Source: ''[[All-Star Superman (film)|All-Star Superman]]'' (2011)

* We got a new home to build. Come on. I'll tell you about the time I took on an army of Manhunters and my only backup was this squirrel.
** Who: Hal Jordan
** Source: ''[[Green Lantern: Emerald Knights]]'' (2011)

* Barbara's not crazy about the marriage counselor, but we're making progress. As for me, well, there's a real panic on. Somebody has threatened to poison the Gotham reservoir. He calls himself the Joker. I've got a friend coming who might be able to help. He should be here any minute.
** Who: Lieutenant James Gordon
** Source: ''[[Batman: Year One (film)|Batman: Year One]]'' (2011)

* I do have a plan! It's called the Justice League.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[Justice League: Doom]]'' (2012)

* Can we go so I can kiss you now?
** Who: Lois Lane
** Source: ''[[Superman vs. The Elite]]'' (2012)

* Ba-Batman... Darling!
** Who: Joker
** Source: [[Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (film)|''Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part One'']] (2012)

* I spent 10 years looking for a good death. This... This'll be a good life. Good enough.
** Who: Bruce Wayne
** Source: [[Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (film)|''Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part Two'']] (2013)

* Marry me.
** Who: Clark Kent
** Source: ''[[Superman: Unbound]]'' (2013)

* You're one helluva messenger. Thank you.
** Who: Bruce Wayne
** Source: ''[[Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox]]'' (2013)

* The surface dwellers have killed our king. This is an act of war and they will pay.
** Who: Prince Orm
** Source: ''[[Justice League: War]]'' (2014)

* No.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[Son of Batman]]'' (2014)

* Bang.
** Who: Deadshot
** Source: ''[[Batman: Assault on Arkham]]'' (2014)

* I am Lex Luthor. I have a proposition for you.
** Who: Lex Luthor
** Source: ''[[Justice League: Throne of Atlantis]]'' (2015)

* Sometimes, Alfred... ...you have to have a little faith.
** Who: Bruce Wayne
** Source: ''[[Batman vs. Robin]]'' (2015)

* Time to look ahead, Kirk. You know what they say. The past is like another planet.
** Who: Superman
** Source: ''[[Justice League: Gods and Monsters]]'' (2015)

* Master Bruce is having a heart-to-heart with Damian. One can't help feeling bad. Despite her madness, she was his mother.
** Who: Alfred Pennyworth
** Source: ''[[Batman: Bad Blood]]'' (2016)

* Raven, release me. You're too weak to keep me in here, you filthy witch! I'll get out! I'll kill everyone you love. RAVEN!!!
** Who: Trigon
** Source: ''[[Justice League vs. Teen Titans]]'' (2016)

* Yeah, Dad, I just got back from the lacrosse game. Going to practice some Wallball this weekend. Getting pretty good. Maybe another night, Dad, I got plans tonight. I can't help it if your daughter's so popular. I'll talk to you, later. Right then, back to work.
** Who: Barbara Gordon / Oracle
** Source: ''[[Batman: The Killing Joke (film)|Batman: The Killing Joke]]'' (2016)

* Now, that's what I call making yourself useful, love.
** Who: John Constantine
** Source: ''[[Justice League Dark (film)|Justice League Dark]]'' (2017)

* I talk to the dead. For no matter how rotted the corpse, there's always a tiny wisp of life left.
** Who: Brother Blood
** Source: ''[[Teen Titans: The Judas Contract]]'' (2017)

* Aw... Ain't that a shame? Wendel is headed back to his crummy house and all those cats without getting the help he so desperately needs. Oh, well, that's it for today's show. Till next time, folks. Be good to yourselves. 'Cause everyone else in the world is probably out to get you. Bye-bye!
** Who: Dr. Harleen Quinzel
** Source: ''[[Batman and Harley Quinn]]'' (2017)

* It was all phony anyway. We'll make something new. Something better.
** Who: Dickie
** Source: ''[[Batman: Gotham by Gaslight]]'' (2018)

* I'll be seeing you, Waller. Maybe in heaven.
** Who: Deadshot
** Source: ''[[Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay]]'' (2018)

* Superman?
** Who: Jimmy Olsen
** Source: ''[[The Death of Superman (film)|The Death of Superman]]'' (2018)

* Okay, who left the front door open?
** Who: Green Lantern
** Source: ''[[Reign of the Supermen (film)|Reign of the Supermen]]'' (2019)

* Jessica Cruz. It's an honor.
** Who: Brainiac 5
** Source: ''[[w:Justice League vs. the Fatal Five|Justice League vs. the Fatal Five]]'' (2019)

* Someday.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[w:Batman: Hush (film)|Batman: Hush]]'' (2019)

* You think I'm intimidated? I've won. I'm coming for you, Wonder Woman. Do you hear me, Wonder Woman? I am coming for you!
** Who: Veronica Cale
** Source: ''[[w:Wonder Woman: Bloodlines|Wonder Woman: Bloodlines]]'' (2019)

* I kind of like that last option.
** Who: Lois Lane
** Source: ''[[w:Superman: Red Son (film)|Superman: Red Son]]'' (2020)

* And some of those changes may be shite. And we may make the same mistakes again. It won't be perfect... but it'll be a long sight better than what we got now.
** Who: John Constantine
** Source: ''[[w:Justice League Dark: Apokolips War|Justice League Dark: Apokolips War]]'' (2020)

=== ''[[w:Despicable Me (franchise)|Despicable Me]]'' film series ===

* No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no!
** Who: Gru
* (post-credits:) I am Gru. Back to work! Back to work! Back to...
** Who: Kevin
** Source: ''[[Despicable Me]]'' (2010)

* I'M SO HAPPY!!!
** Who: Agnes Gru
** Source: ''[[Despicable Me 2]]'' (2013)

* Come on, He's my brother. We'll give him a 5 minute head start.
** Who: Felonious Gru
** Source: ''[[Despicable Me 3]]'' (2017)

* FREEZE RAY!!!
** Who: Felonious Gru
** Source: ''[[Minions (film)|Minions]]'' (2015)

=== ''[[w:Fantasia (franchise)|Fantasia]]'' film series ===

* The last number in our ''Fantasia'' program is a combination of two pieces of music so utterly different in construction and mood that they set each other off perfectly. The first is ''A Night On Bald Mountain'', by one of Russia's greatest composers, Modest Mussorgsky. The second is Franz Schubert's world-famous ''Ave Maria''. Musically and dramatically, we have here a picture of the struggle between the profane and the sacred. Bald Mountain, according to tradition, is the gathering place of Satan and his followers. Here on ''Walpurgisnacht'', which is the equivalent of our own Halloween, the creatures of evil gather to worship their master. Under his spell, they dance furiously until the coming of dawn and the sounds of church bells send the infernal army slinking back into their abodes of darkness. And then we hear the Ave Maria, with its message of the triumph of hope and life over the powers of despair and death.
** Who: [[w:Deems Taylor|Deems Taylor]]
** Source: ''[[Fantasia (1940 film)|Fantasia]]'' (1940)

* Camera back on me. Uh, camera back on me, please. Anyone? Hello? Hello? Could someone give me a ride home?
** Who: [[Steve Martin]]
** Source: ''[[Fantasia 2000]]'' (2000)

=== ''[[w:Finding Nemo (franchise)|Finding Nemo]]'' film series ===

* Bye, son.
** Who: Marlin
* (pre-credits:) Now what?
** Who: Bloat
** Source: ''[[Finding Nemo]]'' (2003)

* Yep. Unforgettable.
** Who: Dory
* (post-credits:) Now what?
** Who: Bloat
** Source: ''[[Finding Dory]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:Frozen (franchise)|Frozen]]'' film series ===

* That's it. Glide and pivot. Glide and pivot.
** Who: Olaf
** Source: ''[[Frozen (2013 film)|Frozen]]'' (2013)

* Ready?
** Who: Elsa
* (post-credits:) Oh. We live! WE LIVE!!! Good story.
** Who: Marshmallow 
** Source: ''[[Frozen II]]'' (2019)

=== ''[[w:Happy Feet (franchise)|Happy Feet]]'' film series ===

* Gracias.
** Who: Ramón
** Source: ''[[Happy Feet]]'' (2006)

* Ja, The Svened.
** Who: The Mighty Sven
** Source: ''[[Happy Feet Two]]'' (2011)

=== ''[[w:Hotel Transylvania (franchise)|Hotel Transylvania]]'' film series ===

* Alright, maybe just a little.
** Who: Dracula
* (in-credits) I didn't do that.
** Who: Elderly Gremlin
** Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania|Hotel Transylvania]]'' (2012)

* I didn't do that.
** Who: Elderly Gremlin
** Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania 2]]'' (2015)

* Yes!
** Who: Ericka van Helsing
** Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation]]'' (2018)

=== ''[[w:Hoodwinked!|Hoodwinked!]]'' film series ===

* I always did like happy endings.
** Who: Red Puckett
** Source: ''[[Hoodwinked!]]'' (2005)

* Hey, girls. Let's call it a night.
** Who: Twitchy
** Source: ''[[Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil]]'' (2011)

=== ''[[w:How to Train Your Dragon|How to Train Your Dragon]]'' film series ===

* This is Berk. It snows nine months of the year and hails the other three. Any food that grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here are even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies or parrots... we have... dragons!
** Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
** Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon (film)|How to Train Your Dragon]]'' (2010)

* This... is Berk. A bit trampled and busted and covered in ice, but it's home. It's our home. Those who attacked us are relentless and crazy. But those who stopped them? Oh, even more so! We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pit against us. We are the voice of peace. And bit by bit, we will change this world. You see, we have something they don't. Oh sure, they have armies and they have armadas... But we... we have... OUR DRAGONS!
** Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
** Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon 2]]'' (2014)

* Legend says that when the ground quakes or lava spews from the earth, it's the dragons letting us know they're still here. Waiting for us to figure out how to get along. Yes, the world believes the dragons are gone, if they ever existed at all. But we Berkians, we know otherwise. And we'll guard this secret until the time comes when dragons can return in peace.
** Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
** Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World]]'' (2019)

=== ''[[w:Ice Age (franchise)|Ice Age]]'' film series ===

* No, really...
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Sid|Sid]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age (2002 film)|Ice Age]]'' (2002)

* Calm down! I saved you, little buddy! Remember!?
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Sid|Sid]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: The Meltdown]]'' (2006)

* That's right, sweetheart. Welcome to the Ice Age.
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Ellie|Ellie]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs]]'' (2009)

* No! Stop! Brother, rise above this base desire. Be more than a rodent.
** Who: Ariscratle
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: Continental Drift]]'' (2012)

* Mars: the red planet. Cold... dry... inhospitable to life. But billions and billions of years ago, Mars looked like this. There were lakes, rivers, oceans... the perfect conditions for life to form. So, what happened? Why was life unable to take hold? Where did the water go? We may never know.
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Neil deBuck Weasel|Neil deBuck Weasel]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: Collision Course]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:The Incredibles (franchise)|The Incredibles]]'' film series ===

* Behold, the Underminer! I am always beneath you, but nothing is beneath me! I hereby declare war on peace and happiness! Soon, all will tremble before me!
** Who: The Underminer
** Source: ''[[The Incredibles]]'' (2004)

* Stop! Let us out! Here, large popcorn, small soda. Save me a seat. Center, about eight rows back. I'll be back before the previews are over!
** Who: [[w:Violet Parr|Violet Parr]]
** Source: ''[[Incredibles 2]]'' (2018)

=== ''[[Kim Possible]]'' film series ===

* No idea why I said that!
** Who: Ron Stoppable
** Source: ''[[Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time]]'' (2003)

* It finally happened! She's dating that loser! Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable are dating!? ''(Laughs loudly)''
** Who: Bonnie Rockwaller
** Source: ''[[Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama]]'' (2005)

=== ''[[w:Kung Fu Panda (franchise)|Kung Fu Panda]]'' film series ===

* Yeah.
** Who: [[w:List_of_Kung_Fu_Panda_characters#Master Shifu|Master Shifu]]
** Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda]]'' (2008)

* My son is alive...
** Who: [[w:List_of_Kung_Fu_Panda_characters#Li Shan|Li Shan]]
** Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda 2]]'' (2011)

* Panda Asthma.
** Who: [[w:List_of_Kung_Fu_Panda_characters#Li Shan|Li Shan]]
** Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda 3]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:Lady and the Tramp|Lady and the Tramp]]'' film series ===

* Huh? I haven't? Well, uh, as Old Reliable used to say... He'd say, uh, uh... He'd say, uh, uh... Doggone. You know, I clean forgot what it was he used to say!
** Who: Trusty
** Source: ''[[Lady and the Tramp]]'' (1955)

* Angel!
** Who: Junior
** Source: ''[[Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure]]'' (2001)

=== ''[[w:The Land Before Time (franchise)|The Land Before Time]]'' film series ===

* And they all grew up together in the valley, generation upon generation, each passing on to the next. The tale of their ancestors' journey to the valley, long ago.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time]]'' (1988)

* But I still can't wait to grow up.
** Who: Littlefoot
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time II: The Great Valley Adventure]]'' (1994)

* And so, as it turned out, the dinosaurs traveled from green spot to green spot, eating their fill, each helping the others to find what they needed, each learning the special kind of joy, which comes from giving to others. And in the years to come, this story of sharing was told over and over again, until it became known as: &quot;The Time of the Great Giving.&quot;
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time III: The Time of the Great Giving]]'' (1995)

* And so, it came to pass that the migrating dinosaurs left the Great Valley for lands unknown. And yes, Littlefoot and his friends, Cera, Ducky, Petrie and Spike, would indeed meet Ali again one day. But that's another story.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time IV: Journey Through the Mists]]'' (1996)

* It's great to be home.
** Who: Cera
** ''[[The Land Before Time V: The Mysterious Island]]'' (1997)

* And so, another myth was born. It would change with each retelling. And even now, who knows how this one will end.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time VI: The Secret of Saurus Rock]]'' (1998)

* Oh, no! Oh, no! But we are plenty smart, right, Spike?
* Uh-huh.
** Who 1: Ducky
** Who 2: Spike
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time VII: The Stone of Cold Fire]]'' (1999)

* The families would be happy here until the Great Circle began to warm the land once more, melting the white ground sparkles and allowing new life to spring up, turning the earth green again. Then they could return to the Great Valley, where they could all get a good night's sleep, even Ducky.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time VIII: The Big Freeze]]'' (2001)

* This adventure was at an end. Still, Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Petrie and Spike knew in their hearts that there would be many more adventures yet to come.
** Who: Narrator
** Source:''[[The Land Before Time IX: Journey to Big Water]]'' (2002)

* I just have one question. Do we HAVE to go back through the swamp?
** Who: Ducky
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time X: The Great Longneck Migration]]'' (2003)

* And every nibbling day, the dinosaurs of the Great Valley gathered to celebrate these small things of life which mattered so much.
* Got you!
** Who 1: Narrator
** Who 2: Petrie
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time XI: Invasion of the Tinysauruses]]'' (2005)

* Many changes had occurred on this day of changes. And many more would follow. The dinosaur families understood this. They knew that change was a part of life in the Great Valley.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time XII: The Great Day of the Flyers]]'' (2006)

* In their journey to Berry Valley, the young dinosaurs had discovered that wisdom came in many different forms. And they knew that more lessons lay before them as they grew in the land before time.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time XIII: The Wisdom of Friends]]'' (2007)

* Littlefoot had found his father. And he found something else, too... Something he wasn't looking for. The realization that he and his friends would always be together... till the end of their days... in the Land Before Time.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Land Before Time XIV: Journey of the Brave]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:The Lego Movie (franchise)|The Lego Movie]]'' film series ===

* Oh, man.
** Who: Emmet Brickowski
** Source: ''[[The Lego Movie]]'' (2014)

* Wow, that was fun! Really hope nobody was recording that. Let me see. Oh, this thing is on. This thing is recording.
** Who: Batman
** Source: ''[[The Lego Batman Movie]]'' (2017)

* B mark.
** Who: Director
** Source: ''[[The Lego Ninjago Movie]]'' (2017)

* An original album of ''Everything is Awesome''?! Wait a minute. Is that...? 
** Who: Emmet Brickowski
** Source: ''[[The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part]]'' (2019)

=== ''[[w:Lilo &amp; Stitch (franchise) (franchise)|Lilo &amp; Stitch]]'' film series ===

* Wait.
** Who: Stitch
** Source: ''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch]]'' (2002)

* And with 626, they make one hotshot evil genius experiment-catching team!
** Who: Jumba Jookiba
* (post-credits:) I'll get the wig.
** Who: Wendy Pleakley
** Source: ''[[Stitch! The Movie]]'' (2003)

* Mom would be so proud of you.
** Who: Nani Pelekai
** Source: ''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch]]'' (2005)

* Aloha!
** Who: The Pelekai ''ʻohana'': Lilo Pelekai, Stitch, Nani Pelekai, David Kawena, Jumba Jookiba, Wendy Pleakley, Mertle Edmonds, and many of Jumba's genetic experiments (Stitch's &quot;cousins&quot;)
** Source: ''[[Leroy &amp; Stitch]]'' (2006)

=== ''[[w:The Lion King (franchise)|The Lion King]]'' film series ===

* Remember...
** Who: Mufasa's Ghost
** Source: ''[[The Lion King]]'' (1994)

* Well done, my son. We are one.
** Who: Mufasa's Ghost
** Source: ''[[The Lion King II: Simba's Pride]]'' (1998)

* Uh, Timon? I still don't do so well in crowds.
** Who: Pumbaa
** Source: ''[[The Lion King 1½]]'' (2004)

=== ''[[w:The Little Mermaid (franchise)|The Little Mermaid]]'' film series ===

* I love you, daddy.
** Who: Ariel
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'' (1989)

* Hi.
** Who: Melody
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea]]'' (2000)

* That's my girl. Samba? Ooh-wa, ooh-wa! 
** Who: Benjamin
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning]]'' (2008)

=== ''[[w:Madagascar (franchise)|Madagascar]]'' film series ===

* Nah. Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
** Who: Skipper
** Source: ''[[Madagascar (2005 film)|Madagascar]]'' (2005)

* Shake 'em. Shake 'em. Shake 'em. Shake 'em...
** Who: King Julian XII
** Source: ''[[Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa]]'' (2008)

* Hey, Skipper, what did you end up doing with the crazy lady, anyway?
** Who: Alex
** Source: ''[[Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted]]'' (2012)

* You know, if I'm being honest, I expected a little more... pizzazz! Yes! Now, that's pizzazz!
** Who: King Julian XII
** Source: ''[[Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (2014)

=== ''[[w:Monsters, Inc. (franchise)|Monsters, Inc.]]'' film series ===

* Kitty!
** Who: Boo
** Source: ''[[Monsters, Inc.]]'' (2001)

* You better believe it.
** Who: Mike Wazowski
* (post-credits:) Great.
** Who: Student Slug Monster
** Source: ''[[Monsters University]]'' (2013)

=== ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' film series ===

* Just a hunch.
** Who: Pinkie Pie
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]'' (2013)

* One! Two! Three! Four!
** Who: Human Pinkie Pie
* (post-credits:) No doubt about it, Spike, there's definitely something strange going on at that school.
** Who: Human Twilight Sparkle (Sci-Twi)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks]]'' (2014)

* Make that the ''second'' strangest.
** Who: Princess Twilight Sparkle
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Friendship Games]]'' (2015)

* Where did the magic that hit this cave come from?
** Who: Sunset Shimmer
* (post-credits:) Let's celebrate!
** Who: Human Pinkie Pie
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Legend of Everfree]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:The Nut Job|The Nut Job]]'' film series ===

* Any more big ideas? Please stay.
** Who: Norvirus Raccoon
** Source: ''[[The Nut Job]]'' (2014)
** Note: A mid-credits scene reveals that Raccoon and Cardinal survived and were drifted out to sea, but sharks now surround them, leaving their fate ambiguous.

* Ride, Precious! Ride! Hiyah!
** Who: Surly
** Source: ''[[The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature]]'' (2017)

=== ''[[w:Open Season (franchise)|Open Season]]'' film series ===

* Wait, wait. No. No. No!
** Who: Shaw
** Source: ''[[Open Season]]'' (2006)

* Come on!
** Who: Elliot
** Source: ''[[Open Season 2]]'' (2009)

* Boop!
** Who: Allistar
** Source: ''[[Open Season 3]]'' (2011)

* No.
** Who: Boog
** Source: ''[[Open Season: Scared Silly]]'' (2016)

=== ''[[w:The Rescuers|The Rescuers]]'' film series ===

* I sure wish we'd have taken the train.
** Who: Bernard
** Source: ''[[The Rescuers]]'' (1977)

* Help! Anybody! Bernard! Bianca! Where are you? Okay, that's it, I'm out of here. This is ridiculous. You can't leave me here alone. I'm gone! I am gone. Oh. Aw, no, stay in those eggs! That's a direct order! Oh. Hey, you're kind of a cute little feller. Coochy, coochy... Yeowww! Whoa! Ohhh!
** Who: Wilbur
** Source: ''[[The Rescuers Down Under]]'' (1990)

=== ''[[w:Rio (franchise)|Rio]]'' film series ===

* That's my big brave boy.
** Who: Linda Gunderson
* (in-credits:) I love you, Rio!
** Who: Luiz
** Source: ''[[Rio (film)|Rio]]'' (2011)

* That's the end?
** Who: Pedro
** Source: ''[[Rio 2]]'' (2014)

=== ''Rugrats'' film series ===

* Way to go, Dilly!
** Who: Tommy Pickles, Chuckie Finster, Phil and Lil Deville
** Source: ''[[The Rugrats Movie]]'' (1998)

* Well, Tommy. I guess this is the way things are gonna be from now on.
** Who: Chuckie Finster
** Source: ''[[Rugrats in Paris: The Movie]]'' (2000)

* Well, Eliza, as dog is my witness, I'll never lose my babies again!
** Who: Spike the Dog
** Source: ''[[Rugrats Go Wild]]'' (2003)

=== ''[[w:Shrek (franchise)|Shrek]]'' film series ===

* Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
** Who: [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]
** Source: ''[[Shrek]]'' (2001)

* Hey Donkey, that's Spanish!
** Who: [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]
* (mid-credits:) Look at our little mutant babies! I gotta get a job!
** Who: [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]
** Source: ''[[Shrek 2]]'' (2004)

* I got it.
** Who: [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]]
** Source: ''[[Shrek the Third]]'' (2007)

* No, it was ''you'' that rescued ''me.''
** Who: [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]]
** Source: ''[[Shrek Forever After]]'' (2010)

* This is the story of a cat who became a hero. An outlaw dedicated to justice and a lover of beautiful woman. A great, great lover. Really, it is crazy. I am Puss in Boots! And my name would become legend.
** Who: [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]
* (in-credits:) Oh!
** Who: Oh Cat
** Source: ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'' (2011)

=== ''[[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (film series)|SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' film series ===

* Are you crazy? I was just gonna tell you that your fly is down. Manager! This is the greatest day of my life!!!
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants
* (post credits:) Okay.
** Who: Captain Bart the Pirate
** Source: ''[[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]'' (2004)

* See you later, te-ammate!
** Who: [[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (character)|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
* That was pretty good actually.
** Who: Bubbles
* (in-credits:) You know what this needs? A little interpretive dance!
** Who: [[w:Squidward Tentacles|Squidward Tentacles]]
** Source: ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water]]'' (2015)

* Order up!
** Who: [[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (character)|SpongeBob SquarePants]]
** Source: ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run]]'' (2020)

=== ''[[w:Surf's Up (film)|Surf's Up]]'' film series ===

* Cody would never do this.
** Who: Edna Maverick
** Source: ''[[Surf's Up]]'' (2007)

* Okay, That's a wrap on this episode of &quot;Are they still cool? Surf Edition&quot;. Aaaand cut.
** Who: Announcer
** Source: ''[[Surf's Up 2: WaveMania]]'' (2017)

=== ''[[w:Toy Story (franchise)|Toy Story]]'' film series ===

* Oh, what is it? What is it? Wow! A puppy!
** Who: Andy Davis
** Source: ''[[Toy Story]]'' (1995)

* Besides, when it all ends, I'll have old Buzz Lightyear to keep me company - for infinity and beyond.
** Who: Woody
* Yeah!
** Who: Wheezy
* (outtakes:) A little break, okay. Phew.
** Who: Barbie
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 2]]'' (1999)

* So long, partner. Oh hey, Buzz! You haven't met Bonnie's toys yet! 
** Who: Woody
* (in-credits:) Just go with it, Buzz.
** Who: Jessie
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 3]]'' (2010)

* He's not lost. Not anymore. To infinity...
* ...and beyond.
** Who 1: Buzz Lightyear
** Who 2: Woody
* (mid-credits 1:) Oh yeah. Leave it to us, Jermiah.
** Who: Ducky
* (mid-credits 2:) Yeah. We know exactly what to do.
** Who: Bunny
* (mid-credits 3:) Whoa.
** Who: Duke Caboom
* (mid-credits 4:) I don't know.
** Who: Forky
* (post-credits:) Caboom! Yes.
** Who: Duke Caboom
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 4]]'' (2019)

* To infinity...
* ...and beyond.
** Who 1: Izzy Hawthorne
** Who 2: Buzz Lightyear
* (mid-credits:) [laughs] Laser Shield.
**Who: Commander Burnside
*(post-credits:) Ask the bromite swamps, a breathtaking sight or so I am told, but if you're in a hurry, this would be your most direct route. Any questions? Hello? Oh...
**Who: E.R.I.C.
** Source: ''[[Lightyear (film)|Lightyear]]'' (2022)

=== ''[[Winnie the Pooh]]'' film series ===

* Wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in their enchanted place on top of the forest, a little bear will always be waiting.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh]]'' (1977)

* Yes, Piglet. It's the least we could do... for a very small Piglet who's done such very big things. Thank you, Piglet.
** Who: Pooh
** Source: ''[[Piglet's Big Movie]]'' (2003)

* And so it is here we shall leave them. And here we shall find them again. For the boy and the bear will always be together in this remarkable place called the Hundred Acre Wood.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin]]'' (1997)

* You know, we never really did capture a Heffalump that day. It was more like... like Lumpy captured all of us.
** Who: Pooh
** Source: ''[[Pooh's Heffalump Movie]]'' (2005)

* You were right! I love Hallowoon! Hallow-woo... Hallow... Oh, whatever. As long as we're together!
** Who: Lumpy
** Source: ''[[Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie]]'' (2006)

* Look this way, everybody. Closer. Smile!
** Who: Christopher Robin
** Source: ''[[The Tigger Movie]]'' (2000)

* Silly old bear.
** Who: Christopher Robin
* (post-credits:) Wow! It's amazing what you can find in the woods. A marble! And a boot! And oh, my, that's a scary-lookin' fella. Gosh! Maybe these are his things. You know, I better pick 'em up so they won't get broken. That's the last thing I would want. Whoa!  Oh, my gosh! Is this a pit? I think I'm in a pit! Hello? Anybody up there? Oh, well. I sure hope that fella will be back soon.
** Who: The Backson
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh (film)|Winnie the Pooh]]'' (2011)
** Note: He comes out of the scary woods and proves to be real but instead of being a monstrous beast, he is actually very kind and the bait Pooh and the other left for him he decided to pick them up to return to them but falls into the pit as planned. He decides to wait for someone to help him out and hopes he'll be back soon.

* And so another Christmas came and went in the Hundred Acre Wood. It had been a joyous season of giving for all our friends, but especially for a little bear named Winnie the Pooh.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: Seasons of Giving]]'' (1999)

* Not bad! But it could've used a few more jingly bells.
** Who: Tigger
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: A Very Merry Pooh Year]]'' (2002)

* BBFN: Bye-Bye For Now!
** Who: Roo
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: Springtime With Roo]]'' (2004)

=== ''[[Winx Club]]'' film series ===

* And thus, the fairy that was searching for her origins learned to believe in herself, and to trust the people she loved. She stayed true to herself, and to what she believed in, and won her greatest battle, saving her kingdom, freeing her people, and reuniting her family, and finally becoming a true guardian fairy. And now written in the Book of Fate, there's a new Company of Light... the Winx!
** Who: Bartelby (Dubbing Brothers)
* And so, the most strong-willed of all fairies overcame the greatest challenge. She learned to believe in herself and trust the people she loved. She stayed true to what was in her heart and in doing so she saved a kingdom, freed her people, and reunited her long-lost family. And finally, she became a true Guardian Fairy. And now written in the Book of Fate, there's a new Company of Light, called... the Winx!
** Who: Bartelby (Atlas Oceanic)
* (pre-credits:) And soon we'll loop their stupid little fairy wings right off their bodies!
** Who: Icy (Dubbing Brothers)
* (pre-credits:) And soon we reap their weak little fairy wings right of their bodies!
** Who: Icy (Atlas Oceanic)
** Source: ''[[Winx Club: The Secret of the Lost Kingdom]]'' (2007)

* Daddy...
** Who: Bloom
* (post-credits:) Ta-da!!!
** Who: Stella
** Source: ''[[Winx Club 3D: Magical Adventure]]'' (2010)

* Kiko... Thank you! I'm really dying for an ice cream!
** Who: Sky
** Source: ''[[Winx Club: The Mystery of the Abyss]]'' (2014)

=== ''[[w:Wreck-It Ralph (franchise)|Wreck-It Ralph]]'' film series ===

* But I gotta say, the best part of my day is when I get thrown off the roof. Because when the Nicelanders lift me up, I get a perfect view of Sugar Rush, and I can see Vanellope racing. The kid's a natural, the players love her, glitch and all, just like I knew they would. Turns out I don't need a medal to tell me I'm a good guy. Because if that little kid likes me... how bad can I be?
** Who: [[w:Wreck-it Ralph (character)|Wreck-it Ralph]]
** Source: ''[[Wreck-It Ralph]]'' (2012)

* Come on Felix, let's get to work, buddy.
* (mid-credits:) No, the kitty gets the milkshake. The bunny gets the pancake.
* (post-credits:) Oh no, why would I?! I like you! You guys still sticking around? Alright well, you're welcome to stay, there's not really anymore surprises but you know. Good luck getting that song out of your head it's a real ear wig. Anyway what else uh...
** Who: [[w:Wreck-it Ralph (character)|Wreck-it Ralph]]
** Source: ''[[Ralph Breaks the Internet]]'' (2018)

== Streaming service films ==

=== Disney+ films ===

* Hey! Movie's over! Go home!
** Who: Terry
** Source: ''[[Soul (2020 film)|Soul]]'' (2020)

=== Netflix films ===

* Well, rickety biscuit.
** Who: Edmée
** Source: ''[[Arlo the Alligator Boy]]'' (2021)

* Yay! I missed you so much!
** Who: GIR
** Source: ''[[Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus]]'' (2019)

* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
** Who: Bobby Santiago
* (in-credits:) Just the right amount of cinnamon.
** Who: Lincoln Loud
** Source: ''[[The Loud House Movie]]'' (2021)

* Whew! Hey, guys. What did I miss? ''AAAAAAHHHHH''--
** Who: Balloon Pony
* (post-credits:) Me first!
** Who: Kid Earth Pony 1
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: A New Generation]]'' (2021)

* Woo-hoo...OOF!
** Who: Hilda
** Source: ''[[Hilda and The Mountain King]]'' (2021)

* Two thousand one boogers on the wall, two thousand and one boogers... Pick one out and flick it off, two thousand and two boogers on the wall. Two thousand and two boogers on the wall, two thousand and two boogers...
** Who: Mr. Dupette
** Source: ''[[Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling]]'' (2019)

=== Paramount+ films ===

* We just had another call asking to speak with Victor Chouce. You're quite a popular man, Victor. I wonder what all the fuss is about. Don't feel like talking, huh? You will.
** Who: Warden
** Source: ''[[South Park: Post Covid]]'' (2021)

* Remember folks, weed can't solve all your problems but tegridy can. Tegridy Weeeed.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid]]'' (2021)

* Yeah, well, you see, ManBearPig, eventually, he gonna kill everybody. He just gonna kill you first.
** Who: Pi-Pi
** Source: ''[[South Park: The Streaming Wars]]'' (2022)

* Yeah, but that all sounds really hard. We have enough water for the summer now. Fuck it. Let's smoke some weed!
** Who: Randy Marsh
** Source: ''[[South Park: The Streaming Wars Part 2]]'' (2022)

== Animated TV specials ==

* D.W., turn that thing off!
** Who: Arthur Read
** Source: ''Arthur's Perfect Christmas'' (2000)
* Well, you kids will never believe this, but I could almost swear I saw a cat – a Cat in the Hat, mind you – going down the street with a moss-covered three-handled family gradunza!
** Who: Mother
** Source: ''[[The Cat in the Hat (TV special)|The Cat in the Hat]]'' (1971)
* C'mon, sis. Let's go talk to Mom and Dad.
** Who: Michael
** Source: ''[[Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue]]'' (1990)

* There is a story, some kids tell about when the world was ruled by an evil adult. A story about a boy, his dad, a book, and a tree. It's the true story about how I found the book of KND and what I wrote in it. Five words only. WE. ARE. KIDS. NEXT. DOOR.
** Who: Nigel Uno (Numbuh One)
** Source: ''[[Codename: Kids Next Door - Operation Z.E.R.O.]]'' (2006)

* It's taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but at last I know where I'm going. Where I've always been going. Home, the long way round.
** Who: The [[Eleventh Doctor]]
** Source: ''[[Eleventh Doctor|Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor]]'' (2013)

* Mr. Phillip has wished, and so I shall use my power. With a wave of my hands, I shall say, &quot;au revoir, Eiffel Tower!&quot;
** Who: Adil
** Source: ''[[Genie in the House|Genie in the House: Legend of the Dragon]]'' (2010)

* Oh, I love it, Philip, I love it too bits!
** Who: Max Baxter
** Source: ''[[Genie in the House|Genie in the House: Return to Balamkadaar]]'' (2008)

* We'll be waiting right here.
** Who: Stella Shortman
** Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie]]'' (2017)

* Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp, so as long as we have hands to clap, Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have. Welcome, Christmas. While we stand... Heart to heart... and hand to hand.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[w: How the Grinch stole Christmas|Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas]]'' (1966)

* Merry Christmas!
** Who: [[w:Santa Claus|Santa Claus]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas]]'' (2011)

* The ship is terrible! Not seaworthy! Bunny overboard!
** Who: [[w:List_of_Ice_Age_characters#Squint|Squint]]
** Source: ''[[Ice Age: The Great Egg-Scapade]]'' (2016)
** Note: Squint trying to sail away in a basket as a ship but unfortunately it sinks.

* Merry Christmas and happy Julianuary, everybody!
** Who: Mort
** Source: ''[[Merry Madagascar]]'' (2009)

* Two, three four!
** Who: River
** Source: ''My Scene: Jammin' in Jamaica'' (2004)

* To sharing secrets with the best friends anyone could ever have!
** Who: Chelsea
** Source: ''My Scene: Masquerade Madness'' (2004)

* What? It's none of your business!
** Who: Beth
** Source: ''Polly Pocket: Lunar Eclipse'' (2003)

* Still, it was mad fun!
** Who: Pia Pocket
** Source: ''Polly Pocket: 2 Cool at the Pocket Plaza'' (2005)

* Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho!
** Who: [[w:Santa Claus|Santa Claus]]
** Source: ''[[Stick Man]]'' (2015)

* Okay, next time, we're going to Mexico. OW!
** Who: Beast Boy
** Source: ''[[Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo]]'' (2006)

* Above all, do not lament my absence, for in my spark, I know that this is not the end, but merely a new beginning. Simply put, another transformation.
** Who: Optimus Prime
** Source: ''[[Transformers: Prime|Transformers: Prime - Predacons Rising]]'' (2013)

* First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth!
** Who: Lee
* (post-credits:) It's the end of the movie? What movie?
** Who: Jonny 2X4
** Source: ''[[Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show]]'' (2009)

* That night, the stars seemed to shine down on the forest with a special warm glow. Schaeffer wondered if he could have dreamt it all. Surely a star had fallen and spread magic in its path? And one special wish had come true, just now. And then Schaeffer stopped wondering, because he suddenly knew that if Broo had made it to the Evergreen Forest, then he would soon see Sophia and the Raccoons too.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[The Raccoons and the Lost Star]]'' (1983)

=== ''[[Futurama]]'' ===

* Well, we're boned.
** Who: Bender
** Source: ''[[Futurama: Bender's Big Score]]'' (2007)

* Because Bender knows love. And love doesn't share itself with the world. Love is suspicious, love is needy, love is fearful, love is greedy. My friends, there is no great love without great jealousy. I love you, meatbags.
** Who: Bender
** Source: ''[[Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs]]'' (2008)

* Faster! Faster! Slower!
** Who: Professor Farnsworth
** Source: ''[[Futurama: Bender's Game]]'' (2008)

* Go! Go!
** Who: Fry and Leela
** Source: ''[[Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder]]'' (2009)

=== ''[[The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour Specials]]'' ===

* GET OUT OF MY LAB!
** Who: Jimmy Neutron
** Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour'' (2004)

* Boys, boys! Please! This fighting over me has got to stop!
** Who: Cindy Vortex
** Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 2: When Nerds Collide'' (2006)

* Okay, give him his brain back, boys.
** Who: Cindy Vortex
** Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 3: The Jerkinators'' (2006)

=== ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' specials ===

* Me too!
** Who: Sour Sweet
** Source: ''Dance Magic'' (2017)

* Uh, sorry.
** Who: Human Rainbow Dash
** Source: ''Movie Magic'' (2017)

* Right.
** Who: Starlight Glimmer
** Source: ''Mirror Magic'' (2017)

* Oh, come on! Seriously?!
** Who: Human Rainbow Dash
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Forgotten Friendship'' (2018)

* If you’re up for it.
** Who: Human Rarity
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rollercoaster of Friendship'' (2018)

* We’re baaaack!
** Who: Sunset Shimmer
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Spring Breakdown'' (2019)

* Yeah, I guess it would’ve been!
** Who: Human Pinkie Pie
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Sunset's Backstage Pass'' (2020)

=== ''[[Miraculous Ladybug]]'' ===

* Hmm.
** Who: Monk
** Source: ''[[Miraculous World: New York – United Heroez]]'' (2020)

* Coming to China, I found so much more than I'd ever hoped for: an amazing uncle, a new friend, and a new Mandarin teacher.
** Who: Marinette Dupain-Cheng
** Source: ''[[Miraculous World: Shanghai – The Legend of Ladydragon]]'' (2020)

=== ''Peanuts'' ===

* Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!
** Who: Everyone
** Source: ''[[A Charlie Brown Christmas]]'' (1965)

* My grandmother lives in a condominium.
** Who: Charlie Brown
** Source: ''[[A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving]] (1973)

* To read Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky. Happy New Year, Charlie Brown.
** Who: [[w:Linus van Pelt|Linus van Pelt]]
** Source: ''[[Happy New Year, Charlie Brown]]'' (1986)

* Ah...the Easter Beagle...
** Who: Lucy van Pelt
** Source: ''[[It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown]]'' (1974)

* STUPID? What do you mean &quot;stupid&quot;?! Just wait till next year, Charlie Brown! You'll see! Next year at this same time, I'll find a pumpkin patch that is *real* sincere and I'll sit in that pumpkin patch until the Great Pumpkin appears. He'll rise out of that pumpkin patch and he'll fly through the air with his bag of toys. The Great Pumpkin will appear and I'll be waiting for him! I'll be there! I'll be sitting there in that pumpkin patch... and I'll see the Great Pumpkin. Just wait and see, Charlie Brown. I'll see that Great Pumpkin. I'll SEE the Great Pumpkin! Just you wait, Charlie Brown. The Great Pumpkin will appear, and I'll be waiting for him...!
** Who: Linus van Pelt
** Source: ''[[It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown]]'' (1966)

* Grandma?
** Who: Linus van Pelt
** Source: ''Happiness is a Warm Blanket, Charlie Brown'' (2011)

* Charlie Brown, get your stupid dog to stop playing this music!
** Who: Lucy van Pelt
** Source: ''[[It's the Pied Piper, Charlie Brown]]'' (2000)

=== ''Rankin/Bass'' ===

* Merry Christmas! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
** Who: Santa Claus
** Source: ''[[Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (TV special)|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]'' (1964)

* Aaron's heart was filled with joy and love. And he knew at last that the hate he had carried there was wrong. As ALL hatred will ever be wrong. For more powerful, more beautiful by far than all the eons of sadness and cruelty and desolation which had come before, was that one tiny, crystalline second of laughter. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
** Who: Our Storyteller
** Source: ''[[The Little Drummer Boy (film)|The Little Drummer Boy]]'' (1968)

* I'll be back on Christmas Day!
** Who: Frosty
** Source: ''[[Frosty the Snowman (TV special)|Frosty the Snowman]]'' (1969)

* Merry Christmas!
** Who: Children
** Source: ''[[Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (film)|Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town]]'' (1970)

* Happy Easter Day!
** Who: Everyone
** Source: ''[[Here Comes Peter Cottontail]]'' (1971)

* Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
** Who: Santa Claus
** Source: ''[['Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974 TV special)|'Twas the Night Before Christmas]]'' (1974)

* I dreamed unhappy things!
** Who: Santa Claus
** Source: ''[[The Year Without a Santa Claus]]'' (1974)

* And frosty, too!
** Who: Frosty and Crystal
** Source: ''[[Frosty's Winter Wonderland]]'' (1976)

* And may it be shiny, too!
** Who: Rudolph
** Source: ''[[Rudolph's Shiny New Year]]'' (1976)

* Okay!
** Who: Rudolph
** Source: ''[[Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July]]'' (1979)

* And so, the folks of Beansborough got their winter carnival after all. A tradition was saved. Summer Wheeze was permanently canned, and Mr. Twitchell decided to make sleds instead of trouble. He should have known he was no match for Mother Nature, or a little girl like Holly. Next stop: Winnipeg. Nice town, plenty of parking space, and lots of cocoa.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Frosty Returns]]'' (1992)

=== ''Marvel Rising'' franchise ===

=== ''Thomas and Friends'' specials ===

* Emily was delighted. That night, the engines talked about steamies, diesels, and airplanes, and they all agreed that Tidmouth sheds was the best place to be.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Calling All Engines]]'' (2005)

* But we're ALL leaders of the track!
* And he couldn't have been happier!
** Who 1: Thomas
** Who 2: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|The Great Discovery]]'' (2008)

* I know, Thomas. Thank you.
** Who: Hiro
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Hero of the Rails]]'' (2008)

* And everyone giggled and jiggled.
** Who: The narrator
* (post-credits:) You'll be laughing on the other side of your boilers soon, silly steamies! ''(evil laugh)'' Yes...
** Who: Diesel 10
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Misty Island Rescue]]'' (2010)
** Note: The latter aforementioned line leads into the events of ''Day of the Diesels''. 

* And the two best friends giggled and jiggled with joy.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Day of the Diesels]]'' (2011)

* And no engine whistled louder than Thomas and Luke!
** Who: The narrator
* (in-credits:) It's me!
** Who: Rheneas
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Blue Mountain Mystery]]'' (2012)

* Knights in Shining Armor, on your mark, get set, go!
** Who: Sir Robert Norramby
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|King of the Railway]]'' (2013)

* Percy was sad to say goodbye to his new friend, but he was happy that he had his old friends beside him.
** Who: The narrator
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Tale of the Brave]]'' (2014)

* But I'm not Mr. Coffee Pot, my name is Glynn.
** Who: Glynn
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|The Adventure Begins]]'' (2015)

* One, two, threeeeeeeee!!!
** Who: Scuba divers' captain
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure]]'' (2015)

* Good idea! You ''are'' clever. Sometimes.
** Who: Ashima
* (in-credits:) OVER HERE! I'M FULL OF SURPRISES...!
** Who: Diesel
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|The Great Race]]'' (2016)

* What did I miss?
** Who: Henry
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Journey Beyond Sodor]]'' (2017)

* Thomas?
** Who: Ace
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends|Big World! Big Adventures!]]'' (2018)

=== ''Winnie the Pooh'' specials ===

* No worry! Take your time! Yum, yum!
** Who: Winnie the Pooh
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree]]'' (1966)

* And Piglet, too!
** Who: Piglet
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day]]'' (1968)

* Come on, everybody! Bounce!
** Who: Rabbit
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too]]'' (1974)

* Of course you are. Silly old bear.
** Who: Christopher Robin
** Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh and a Day for Eeyore]]'' (1983)

* And so it was the most thankful day of Thanksgiving, for of all the things we've had or ever liked, the grandest thing we shall ever have is one another... or so it was said, by a bear named Winnie the Pooh.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''A Winnie the Pooh Thanksgiving'' (1998)

* And so as winter changes into spring, which changes into summer, there are things which go on forever unchanging, such as the way a certain boy cares for a certain bear. And we will know for as long as we care to remember, that somewhere in that enchanted place, on top of the forest... a boy and his bear... will always be playing.
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''Winnie the Pooh: A Valentine for You'' (1999)

=== ''Winx Club'' specials ===

* I AM A FAIRY!!!
** Who: Bloom
** Source: ''Winx Club: The Fate of Bloom'' (2011)

* The Trix took the Dragon Flame!
** Who: Bloom
** Source: ''Winx Club: Revenge of the Trix'' (2011)

* I don't know, but I guess we'll find out... together.
** Who: Sky
** Source: ''Winx Club: The Battle for Magix'' (2011)

* Get over here!
** Who: Bloom
** Source: ''Winx Club: The Shadow Phoenix'' (2011)

[[Category:Last lines|Animated films]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Last lines in animated TV shows</title>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149244</id>
      <parentid>3145542</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T01:13:17Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Timmy.swartley.8</username>
        <id>3126758</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Big City Greens */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="53166" xml:space="preserve">==Animated TV shows==
* You're coming with me, punk!
**Who: Ron the Rent-a-Cop
**Source: ''[[6teen]]'' (2004-2010)

*Oh yeah!
**Who: Shermy
**Source: ''[[Adventure Time]]'' (2010-2018)

*Being Choose Goose is no lark... especially now that I'm turning dark.
**Who: Choose Goose
**Source: ''[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]'' (2020-2021)

*That's right, be afraid! Be very afraid! And tell all your cold-blooded friends there's plenty more where that came from!
**Who: Baby Eddie
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2002-2006)

*Oh no. It's started.
**Who: Rob
**Source: ''[[The Amazing World of Gumball]]'' (2011-2019)

*Trust me. There's something magical about you too.
**Who: Jake Long
**Source: ''[[American Dragon: Jake Long]]'' (2005-2007)
**Notes: The closing credits to this episode views clips from the show's previous episodes.

* I am... I... I think as we are very tired, we should go down to the pond for a drink. Then we'll go back to our nests and burrows and sleep. We can explore our big new park tomorrow. And then we will plan how to live together in perfect peace and harmony. In the true spirits of Farthing Wood.
**Who: Plucky
**Source: ''[[The Animals of Farthing Wood (TV series)|The Animals of Farthing Wood]]'' (1993-1995)

*Mechana can we do it?
*We Animal Mechanical can!
**Who: Animal Mechanicals
**Source: ''[[Animal Mechanicals]]'' (2007-2011)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*We still got a few seconds left. Let's do a joke. Let's do like, a joke or something.
**Who: Meatwad
**Source: ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' (2000-2015)

*&quot;Chapter one: how I got my very first pair of glasses…&quot;
**Who: Adult Arthur
**Source: ''[[Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]'' (1996-2022)

*Well, I think you all look ''perfect''.
**Who: Toph Beifong
** Source: ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'' (2005-2008)

*You wanted to know how history will remember the Avengers, Iron Man? Well, here's your answer.
**Who: Captain America
**Source: ''[[The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes]]'' (2010-2013)

*Where shall I begin?
**Who: [[w:Babar the Elephant|King Babar]]
**Source: ''[[Babar (TV series)|Babar]]'' (1989-2000)

*Fine, but don't blame me if dinner is late! I'd like to see you cook a meal in your arms where your legs should be! Maybe I'll go on the Goraldo Show, he'll believe me about the aliens! I can't find my tush!
**Who: Nora Beady
**Source: ''[[Back at the Barnyard]]'' (2007-2011)

*Mini-muffin?
**Who: Tasha and Austin
**Source: ''[[The Backyardigans]]'' (2004-2010)

*Nice try.
**Who: Batman
**Source: ''[[The Batman]]'' (2004-2008)

*A great run. And until we meet again boys and girls, know that wherever evil lurks in all its myriad forms, I'll be there with the hammers of justice to fight for decency, and defend the innocent. Goodnight.
**Who: Batman
**Source: ''[[Batman: The Brave and the Bold]]'' (2008-2011)

*I love you too, son. This message will self-destruct in 3...2...1...
**Who: [[w:Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)|Fred Jones]] (reading a letter from his father)
**Source: ''[[Be Cool, Scooby-Doo!]]'' (2015-2018)

*P2, going down.
**Who: Elevator Announcer
**Source: ''[[Beavis and Butt-head]]'' (1993-97; 2011)

*Bravo, Batman. Checkmate. Shall we play again?
**Who: Anarky
**Source: ''[[Beware the Batman]]'' (2013-2014)

*Ba-a-la-la-la-la.
**Who: Baymax
**Source: ''[[Big Hero 6: The Series]]'' (2017-2021)

*Welcome to Taco Shack. May I take your order?
**Who: Taco Shack Employee
**Source: ''[[Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer]]'' (2017)
**Note: Cancelled after one season due to poor ratings.

*Riley, run!
**Who: Huey Freeman
**Source: ''[[The Boondocks]]'' (2005-2014)

*Yeah. This is nice.
**Who: BoJack Horseman
**Source: ''[[BoJack Horseman]]'' (2014-2020)

*Never mind, I can't wait.
**Who: Brandy Harrington
**Source: ''[[Brandy &amp; Mr. Whiskers]]'' (2004-2006)

*Yup, yup! Let us swim to freedom!
**Who: Buhdeuce
**Source: ''[[Breadwinners]]'' (2014-2016)

*I'm stuck in a tree!
**Who: Bunsen
**Source: ''[[Bunsen Is a Beast]]'' (2017-2018)
**Note: Series cancelled after one season due to declining ratings and Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon.

*Okay, Who's up for cupcake?
**Who: Pupert Pesky
**Source: ''[[The Buzz on Maggie]]'' (2005-2006)

*Sometimes change is good. Having a new teacher turned out to be a lot of fun.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Caillou]]'' (1997-2010)

*Please tell me we go home alone with her?
**Who: McGee
**Source: ''[[Camp Lakebottom]]'' (2013-2017)

*Okay. I think it's just officially got to the point where it can't get any weirder.
**Who: Samson
*(in-credits:) Uh, yeah... okay. 
**Who: Stanley
**Source: ''[[Camp Lazlo]]'' (2005-2008)

*Yeah! Woo-hoo!
**Who: Nick and Sally
**Source: ''The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That!'' (2011-2018)

*Stop it, Zouzou. You're suppose to be a watch dog, not a kiss dog! ''[laughs]''
**Who: Charley
**Source: ''[[Charley and Mimmo]]'' (1999-2002)

*I have saved a fucking gorilla today, I also talked a very special idiot out of willing himself dead, and now, just because I'm too hairy in some places and too bald in other places, you can't find it in your putrid little heart to want to get to know me sexually? [Laughs sarcastically] What's wrong with me? What is wrong with you? I am magical!
**Who: Frank
**Source: ''[[China, IL]]'' (2011-2015)

*Babies, no! Put Scraps down!
**Who: Adult Chowder
*(post-credits:) Oh, radda.
**Who: Shnitzel
**Source: ''[[Chowder (TV series)|Chowder]]'' (2007-2010)

*Yes!
**Who: Clarence Wendle
**Source: ''[[Clarence (American TV series)|Clarence]]'' (2014-2018)

*Enjoy the moment, Jay. For the future is no longer foretold.
**Who: Cronus
**Source: ''[[Class of the Titans]]'' (2005-2008)

*What?! This is your fault!
**Who: Lil' D
**Source: ''[[Class of 3000]]'' (2006-2008)

*We are dumb.
**Who: Donna Tubbs-Brown
**Source: ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' (2009-2013)
**Note: Ended after four seasons due to declining ratings.

*Hello? Yeah. We told him everything he wanted to hear. We'll meet you in the moonbase, okay? Oh! And Numbuh 1... Welcome back.
**Who: Adult Abigail Lincoln (Numbuh 5)
*(post-credits:) Stay young.
**Who: None
**Source: ''[[Codename: Kids Next Door]]'' (2002-2008)
**Notes: The final credits roll with a short montage of every episode from beginning to finish, ending with a picture of Sector V looking at the sunset outside the treehouse with the actual final lines read above them, &quot;Stay Young&quot;.

*What more could a bear ask for?
**Who: [[w:Corduroy (book)|Corduroy]]
**Source: ''[[Corduroy (TV series)|Corduroy]]'' (2000-2001)

*Perfect!
**Who: The Perfectionist (offscreen)
**Source: ''[[Courage the Cowardly Dog]]'' (1996-2002)

*That's right, Cubix. We're friends. Friends forever.
**Who: Connor
**Source: ''[[Cubix: Robots for Everyone]]'' (2001-2003)

*Thanks, Dan.
**Who: Little Chris
**Source: ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' (2011-2013)

*Cool statue. Personally, I would've used recycled materials, but, you know, that's just me.
**Who: Sam Manson
**Source: ''[[Danny Phantom]]'' (2004-2007)

*I take it back.
**Who: Jane
**Source: ''[[Daria]]'' (1997-2002)

*Come on, Eep. The moon's looking at me funny again. We need to go smash his face!
**Who: Grug Crood
**Source: ''[[Dawn of the Croods]]'' (2015-2017)

*I can do anything with my best friends on my side.
**Who: Dottie &quot;Doc&quot; McStuffins
**Source: ''[[Doc McStuffins]]'' (2012-2020)

*Oh yeah. Hehehe. Anybody wanna dance?
**Who: Donkey Kong
**Source: ''[[Donkey Kong Country]]'' (1998-2000)

*It's a perfect name!
**Who: Enrique
**Source: ''[[Dragon Tales]]'' (1999-2005)

*Hey, assholes, thanks for watching!
**Who: [[w:List of Drawn Together characters#Toot Braunstein|Toot Braunstein]]
**Source: ''[[Drawn Together]]'' (2004-2007)

*First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth!
**Who: Lee
*(post-credits:) It's the end of the movie? What movie?
**Who: Jonny
**Source: ''[[Ed Edd n Eddy]]'' (1999-2009)

*Familia forever!
**Who: El Tigre
**Source: ''[[El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera]]'' (2007-2008)

*I am.
**Who: Elena
**Source: ''[[Elena of Avalor]]'' (2016-2020)

*Remember, friends help friends solve problems. See you next time! 
**Who: [[w:Elliot Moose|Elliot Moose]]
**Source: ''[[Elliot Moose (TV series)|Elliot Moose]]'' (1998-2000)

*Hmm. Maybe being emperor won't be so bad after all.
**Who: Kuzco
*(post-credits:) KUZCO!!
**Who: Yzma
**Source: ''[[The Emperor's New School]]'' (2006-2008)

*Happy Friendaversary!
**Who: [[w:Timmy Tiberius Turner|Timmy Turner]] and Chloe Carmichael
**Source: ''[[The Fairly OddParents|The Fairly OddParents!]]'' (2001-2017)
**Note: Ended after ten seasons due to Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon and due to declining ratings.

*Oh.
**Who: Ruff Ruffman
*I love you guys!
**Who: Emmie Atwood
**Source: ''[[Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman]]'' (2006-2010)

*I'm king of the world! King of the world!
**Who: Milo Fishtooth
**Source: ''[[Fish Hooks]]'' (2010-2014)

*Okay, bye doggies!
**Who: Cheese
**Source: ''[[Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends]]'' (2004-2009)

*Come on, Franklin.
**Who: Beaver
**Source: ''[[Franklin (TV series)|Franklin]]'' (1997-2004)

*You're an evil man!
**Who: Norm Abram
**Source: ''[[Freakazoid!]]'' (1995-1997)

*What a great day!
**Who: Kiki
**Source: ''[[Fresh Beat Band of Spies]]'' (2014-2016)

*I do.
**Who: Leela
**Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (2008-2013)

*Welcome home, Goliath. Welcome home.
**Who: Elisa Maza
**Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)|Gargoyles]]'' (1994–1996)

*One thousand years ago, we lived in a world that understood our purpose. It was the age of Gargoyles. Ten centuries later, we awoke to a world bent on our destruction. Somehow, we never lost hope, and today we come full circle. A new age has begun, and we live again.
**Who: Goliath
**Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)#Season 3 (The Goliath Chronicles) -- (Non-Cannon)|Gargoyles: The Goliath Chronicles]]'' (1996–1997)

*Yes, there is.
**Who: Agent Six
**Source: ''[[Generator Rex]]'' (2010-2013)

*Knowing Razer, I'd say he's got a pretty good shot.
**Who: Hal Jordan
**Source: ''[[Green Lantern: The Animated Series]]'' (2011-2013)

*Thanks for coming out, everyone!
**Who: Cory Riffin, Kin Kujira, Kon Kujira, and Laney Penn
**Source: ''[[Grojband]]'' (2013-2015)

*Yeah. You found each other. When a friend comes into your life, it changes you a little. They challenge you. They make you laugh. They make you stronger. Each person gives you a gift. A special part of them that you keep forever. It's like they're always with you.
**Who: Irving Beaks
**Source: ''[[Harvey Beaks]]'' (2015-2017)

*He's never gonna hear the end of it.
**Who: Rhonda
**Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!]]'' (1996-2004)

*Sorry, I didn't mean-- I'd take it back! Mmm, charred marshmallow flesh. Whoa! N-n-no! I didn't say that. No, it wasn't me. That wasn't someone, who else? Get off this ship, you're not welcome.
**Who: Nerville
**Source: ''[[The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange]]'' (2012-2014)

*Oh, she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. This is the life...or more less.
**Who: Kaz Harada
**Source: ''[[Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi]]'' (2004-2006)

*That's a wrap!
**Who: Father Time
**Source: ''[[Histeria!]]'' (1998-2000)

*I feels very at home.
**Who: Oh
**Source: ''[[Home: Adventures with Tip &amp; Oh]]'' (2016-2018)

*I could go for tapas…
**Who: Brendan
**Source: ''[[Home Movies (TV series)|Home Movies]]'' (1999-2004)

*Oh, Mickey!
**Who: Minnie Mouse
**Source: ''[[w:House of Mouse|House of Mouse]]'' (2001-2003)

*I love you too, Bertie!
**Who: Arlo Beauregard
**Source: ''I Heart Arlo'' (2021)

*Get out of the house of Zim! This is my house, get out! Get-
**Who: Zim
**Source: ''[[Invader Zim]]'' (2001-2006)

*Why not?! You weren't using it! You're always﻿ too busy fighting wizards!
**Who: Drago
**Source: ''[[Jackie Chan Adventures]]'' (2000-2005)

*That was brilliant! Thank ye, mates! See you next time!
**Who: John Darling
**Source: ''[[Jake and the Never Land Pirates]]'' (2011-2016)

*You're wrong Mr. Teacherman, this is Porkbelly. Where we make our own history.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Johnny_Test_characters#Johnny Test|Johnny Test]]
**Source: ''[[Johnny Test]]'' (2005-2014)

*You bet, pal!
**Who: Kick Buttowski
**Source: ''[[Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil]]'' (2010-2012)
**Note: Cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings.

*I told you graduation wasn't the end of the world.
**Who: Kim Possible
*(post-credits) Glad you asked! Funny story - not funny &quot;ha-ha&quot;. But, it was a Tuesday...
**Who: Dr. Drakken
**Source: ''[[Kim Possible]]'' (2002-2007)

*Yup!
**Who: Hank Hill
**Source: ''[[King of the Hill]]'' (1997-2010)

*Duck!
**Who: Arnold
**Source: ''[[Kipper (TV series)|Kipper]]'' (1997-2000)

*Hey everybody, Let's hear it for the Dragon Warrior! Huzzah, huzzah...
**Who: Lu Kang and the citizens
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness]]'' (2011-2016)

*There you go!
**Who: Littlefoot
**Source: ''[[The Land Before Time (TV series)|The Land Before Time]]'' (2007-2008)

*Sounds perfect.
**Who: Korra
**Source: ''[[The Legend of Korra]]'' (2012-2014)

*Now is a time of celebration. We have won a great victory. But when the glow has faded, we must remember the cost, and we must be forever vigilant. The message of hate that Mordred carried will come again with a different name, a different face. But as long as we keep the ideals of Camelot alive in our hearts, we will prevail. Long live honor, and justice. Long live goodness, and truth. Long live... Camelot!
**Who: King Arthur
**Source: ''[[The Legend of Prince Valiant]]'' (1991-1993)

*Evil does not die. It evolves.
**Who: Brainiac 6
**Source: ''[[Legion of Super Heroes]]'' (2006-2008)

*I love you too, Stitch.
**Who: Lilo Pelekai
**Source: ''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch: The Series]]'' (2003-2006)

*Little Bill, who are you talking to?
**Who: Brenda Glover
**Source: ''[[Little Bill]]'' (1999-2004)

*I can't believe they canceled our show and put this on instead.
**Who: Lulu Moppet
**Source: ''[[The Little Lulu Show]]'' (1995-1999)

*Someday, kiddo. Someday.
**Who: Roger Baxter
**Source: ''[[Littlest Pet Shop (2012 TV series)|Littlest Pet Shop]]'' (2012-2016)
**Note: Cancelled due to poor toy sales. Succeeded by the reboot ''A World Of Our Own''.

*And who you all think should be the most valuable player?
**Who: Floyd Minton
*''[cheering]'' PETUNIA!!!
**Who: Baby Bugs, Baby Lola, Baby Taz, Baby Daffy, Baby Melissa, Baby Tweety, and Baby Sylvester
*Yay!!!
**Who: Baby Tweety
**Source: ''Baby Looney Tunes'' (2001-2005)
**Note: Canceled due to poor ratings and negative reviews. It was succeeded by ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' in 2011.

*Ain't I a stinker?
**Who: Bugs Bunny as Batman
*And that's the end.
**Who: [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] (Post-credits)
**Source: ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' (2011-2014)

*I just call &quot;dibs&quot; on his fish flakes.
**Who: A fish
**Source: ''[[Mad (TV series)|MAD]]'' (2010-2013)

*Hooray for Maggie!
**Who: Beast, Hamilton Hocks, Rudy, Nedley, and the Jellybean Team
**Source: ''[[Maggie and the Ferocious Beast]]'' (2000-2002)

*Yut is pleased by attention!
**Who: Mister Yut 
**Source: ''Littlest Pet Shop: A World of Our Own'' (2018-19)
**Note: Cancelled after one season.

*Leave me alone, or I will call my fiend back!
**Who: Vendetta
**Source: ''[[Making Fiends (TV series)|Making Fiends]]'' (2008)

*I'm the luckiest one here. I have two families! Now about that turkey...
**Who: Martha
**Source: ''[[Martha Speaks (TV series)|Martha Speaks]]'' (2008-2014)

*The president cut the strings shorter. Only one foot long! Much safer for everyone.
**Who: Peg
*Definitely! 
**Who: Cat
**Source: ''Peg + Cat'' (2014-2018)

*I guess we will, baby. I guess we will.
**Who: Bubbie
**Source: ''[[The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack]]'' (2008-2010)

*So even though things didn't go exactly like they were supposed to, that matinee turned out to be one of our best shows ever. Now that's teamwork. What can I say, Mom and Dad? We're a real class act. 
**Who: Eddy Largo
**Source: ''[[Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse]]'' (2000-2002)

*Max! You and your gumball spitting spider gave us what we wanted. A big...
**Who: Ruby
*Finish!
**Who: Max
**Source: ''[[Max &amp; Ruby]]'' (2003-2019)

*It's a funny thing about making a commitment. Even though sometimes you don't want to follow through. Once you do, you're glad you did.
**Who: Maya Santos
**Source: ''[[Maya &amp; Miguel]]'' (2004-2007)

*Now, let's see what kind of new stuff the evil me put in Megas. Woo! Yeah, Wah-hoo! Yeah! Wa, ha, ha!
**Who: Harold &quot;Coop&quot; Cooplowski
**Source: ''[[Megas XLR]]'' (2004-2005)

*I believe that you would, Slick. Now how about a hand?
**Who: Agent K
**Source: ''[[Men in Black: The Series]]'' (1997-2001)

*See you real soon!
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Note: Catchphrase that ends every episode of Season 1.
*Aw, thanks for stopping by!
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Note: Catchphrase that ends almost every episode of Seasons 2-4.
*Good night, everybody.
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse Clubhouse]]'' (2006-2016)
**Note: Official last line of the series, because the series got cancelled after four seasons due to poor ratings. It was succeeded by ''Mickey and the Roadster Racers''.

*Oh, Haps! I don't know if you can see from your side, but I just skywrote 'Bessie and Happy BFFAEAE' and it looks really great!
**Who: Bessie Higgenbottom
**Source: ''[[The Mighty B!]]'' (2008-2011)

*Don't worry about it.
**Who: Witchy Simone
**Source: ''[[Mighty Magiswords]]'' (2016-2019)

*I think we're gonna need a new ship.
**Who: Milo Murphy
**Source: ''[[Milo Murphy's Law]]'' (2016-2019)
**Note: Either on hiatus or cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings. 

*Weddings, Priya. They do something to you.
**Who: Mira
**Source: ''Mira, Royal Detective'' (2020-2022)

*Y'see? Sometimes one small Mixel is all it takes. Yup, Mixopolis is my town. And always will be.
**Who: Booger
**Source: ''[[Mixels]]'' (2014-2016)

*Okay, going for the triple bonus.
**Who: President Hathaway
**Source: ''[[w:Monsters vs. Aliens (TV series)|Monsters vs. Aliens]]'' (2013-2014)

*Today's Christmas sermon is about family. What is family? Well, a lot of times, family is just a bunch of people who are forced to be together just because they came out of each other — but every so often...a miracle happens. A loving family, just like that, out of nowhere. Now, what causes this — a belief in God, a strong moral structure, blind luck? Who knows, who cares? Ah, you're not gonna get any answers out of me. I'm just a puppet for the Big Guy. I don't write this stuff. The end — I mean, Amen. Nah, who am I kidding? The End.
**Who: Reverend &quot;Rod&quot; Putty
**Source: ''[[Moral Orel]]'' (2005-2008)

*Oh, freak me out! This is craziness! (US version)
*Leave me alone, you ticklish pest! (UK version)
**Who: Mr. Bump
**Source: ''[[The Mr. Men Show]]'' (2008-2009)

*See you later, friends. And thanks for all the laughs.
**Who: Kermit
**Source: ''[[Muppet Babies (2018 TV series)|Muppet Babies]]'' (2018-2022)

*Thanks.
**Who: Thunder
**Source: ''[[My Friend Rabbit]]'' (2007-2008)

*Uh-oh.
**Who: Adam Lyon
**Source: ''[[My Gym Partner's a Monkey]]'' (2005-2008)

*Jenny, did you forget to feed the tiger?
**Who: Nora
**Source: ''[[My Life as a Teenage Robot]]'' (2003-2009)

*Monkey King!
**Who: Kai-Lan, Hoho, Tolee, and Rintoo
**Source: ''[[Ni Hao, Kai-Lan]]'' (2007-2011)

*Thank you for watching the show!
**Who: K.O.
**Source: ''[[OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes]]'' (2017-2019)

*Good night, Olivia. Time for bed, William!
**Who: Mom
**Source: ''[[Olivia]]'' (2009-2013)

*''(translation)'' Phase one is complete, 807612r-B9. Commence Phase two?
**Who: The Guardian
**Source: ''[[Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero]]'' (2014-2017)

*Yes. Yes we do.
**Who: Phineas Flynn
**Source: ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]'' (2007-2015)

*Poppets away!
**Who: Blooter, Patty, and Bobby
**Source: ''[[Poppets Town]]'' (2008-2009)

*Not just yet. My person calls. I'll see you in the morning. And I'll be on time, I promise. But I'm not skipping breakfast. Because believe me, breakfast with Dot, it's the most important meal of my day.
**Who: Lucky
**Source: ''[[Pound Puppies (2010 TV series)|Pound Puppies]]'' (2010-2013)

*Make a run of yourselves! I'm running away!
**Who: Alfe
**Source: ''[[The Problem Solverz]]'' (2011-2013)

*Nobody ever listens to me.
**Who: Zak
**Source: ''[[Rabbids Invasion]]'' (2013-2017)

*I love you, Rapunzel.
**Who: [[w:Flynn Rider|Eugene Fitzherbert]]
**Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

*Attention. As you are no doubt aware, the Principal Office is now under my complete control. You're probably looking forward to one of my erudite speeches about me, Megaframe, the new viral dawn, et cetera et cetera. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. There is no grand scheme here. This is about revenge. Viruses are predatory by design, and it is time for me to follow my function. Prepare yourselves... for the hunt!
**Who: Megabyte
**Source: ''[[ReBoot]]'' (1994-2001)
**Note: Ended after four seasons with no resolution.

*Jolly good show.
**Who: Pops Maellard
**Source: ''[[Regular Show]]'' (2010-2017)

*Aw, raggy!
**Who: Stimpy
**Source: ''[[The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]'' (1991-1996)

*Always, sis. Always.
**Who: Todd Daring
**Source: ''[[The Replacements (TV series|The Replacements]]'' (2006-2009)

*And we're cancelled.
**Who: Dog
**Source: ''[[Right Now Kapow]]'' (2016-2017)

*No... Ashi...
**Who: Jack
**Source: ''[[Samurai Jack]]'' (2001-2004; 2017)

*Yeah!
**Who: Sanjay Patel, Craig Slithers, Megan Sparkles, Hector Flanagan, Ronnie Slithers, and Tuff Fist
**Source: ''[[Sanjay and Craig]]'' (2013-2016)

*I'm happy you're home too, Sofia.
**Who: Princess Amber
**Source: ''[[Sofia the First]]'' (2012-2018)

*Don't apologize. I never do.
**Who: Norman Osborn
**Source: ''[[The Spectacular Spider-Man (TV series)|The Spectacular Spider-Man]]'' (2008-2009)

*Hip hip hooray! The Super Readers saved the day!
**Who: Whyatt Beanstalk
**Source: ''[[Super Why!]]'' (2007-2016)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*Then let's do this together.
**Who: Adora/She-Ra
**Source: ''[[She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]'' (2018-2020)

*It was an accident, and accident!
**Who: Eric Needles
**Source: ''[[Sidekick (TV series)|Sidekick]]'' (2010-2013)

*Well, there's always next season.
**Who: Dr. Eggman
**Source: ''[[Sonic Boom (TV series)]]'' (2014-2017)

*Game over butt-nik!
**Who: Sonic
**Source: ''[[Sonic Underground]]'' (1999)

*I may have been small today, but it turned out to be the biggest day of my life.
**Who: Oso
**Source: ''[[Special Agent Oso]]'' (2009-2012)

*Kimmy? Uh, hello? Kimmy. Umm... Kimmy?
**Who: Amber
**Source: ''[[Sym-Bionic Titan]]'' (2010-2011)

*Umifriend, we couldn't have done it without you!
**Who: Milli
**Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode in Season 1.
*I feel a celebration coming on!
**Who: Bot
**Source: ''[[Team Umizoomi]]'' (2010-2015)
**Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode (starting with the second season), the actual last line is the final verse of the Umi Shake song: &quot;Mighty, mighty, mighty... MATH POWERS!&quot;

*Beast Boy to Robin: I'm on my way, over.
**Who: Beast Boy
**Source: ''[[Teen Titans]]'' (2003-2006)
**Note: Cancelled after five seasons.

* If you don't mind me saying, a Royally Useful Engine.
** Who: The Queen
** Source: ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends]]'' (1984-2021)
** Series ultimately got cancelled due to poor toy sales; succeeded by its reboot ''All Engines Go''.

*The different animals of Third Earth, working together for the first time. You know why? You, Lion-O. You gave them something to believe in. Now, there's still one more stone left. Are we gonna find it or what?
**Who: WilyKit
**Source: ''[[ThunderCats (2011 TV series)|ThunderCats]]'' (2011-2012)

*Okay, time page. How about some help with my math homework?
**Who: Anna
**Source: ''[[w:Time Warp Trio|Time Warp Trio]]'' (2005-2006)

*It's really good. And Yoko likes (baby beans) burritos. She likes almond cookies too. Can you put an extra one in my lunch box tomorrow and some lettuce for Norman...
**Who: Juanita
**Source: ''[[Timothy Goes to School]]'' (2000-2001)

*Oh, and send an ambulance, Sarge. An art lover just fainted.
**Who: Dibble
**Source: ''[[Top Cat]]'' (1961-1962)

*Huh? Awesome!
**Who: Sam
**Source: ''[[Totally Spies]]'' (2001-2015)

*You know it, Pipster. Let's flamin-go!
**Who: Freddy
**Source: ''T.O.T.S.'' (2018-2022)

*Hooray for T.U.F.F.!
**Who: Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, Keswick, and Chief Herbert Dumbrowski
**Source: ''[[T.U.F.F. Puppy]]'' (2010-2015)

*One more thing, how about a dance?
**Who: Tut
**Source: ''[[Tutenstein]]'' (2003-2008)

*Suck my balls! (Thanks for watching!)
**Who: Manbird
**Source: ''[[Ugly Americans]]'' (2010-2012)

*Aw, yeah!
**Who: Uncle Grandpa, Mr. Gus, Pizza Steve, Giant Realistic Flying Tiger, Belly Bag and Frankenstein
**Source: ''[[Uncle Grandpa]]'' (2013-2017)

*The Scare B&amp;B will always be a place for everyone, no matter how different you are. Whether you're human, monster, ghost or ghoul. Or someone who's blue with pointy teeth, like me.
**Who: Vampirina &quot;Vee&quot; Hauntley
* We love you, Vee!
**Who: Bridget
**Source: ''[[Vampirina]]'' (2017-2021)

*To Allura!
**Who: Takashi 'Shiro' Shirogane, Keith, Lance, Katie &quot;Pidge&quot; Holt, and Hunk
**Source: ''[[Voltron: Legendary Defender]]'' (2016-2018)
**Notes: The epilogue reveals what happened to the characters of the show after honoring Allura right before the credits start.

*Nothing ever changes.
**Who: Sylvia and Peepers 
*(post-credits:) They'll get what's coming to them.
**Who: Lord Dominator
**Source: ''[[Wander Over Yonder]]'' (2013-2016)

*Oh, Todd.
**Who: Maurecia
**Source: ''[[Wayside (TV series)|Wayside]]'' (2007-2008)

*Monsta X!
**Who: [[wikipedia:Monsta X|Monsta X]]
**Source: ''[[We Bare Bears]]'' (2015-2019)

*Later days!
**Who: Everyone
**Source: ''[[The Weekenders]]'' (2000-2004)

*Oh well, I guess I'll just have to eat it myself. Works every time.
**Who: Gus
**Source: ''[[Willa's Wild Life]]'' (2008-2010)

*Since we’re coming clean, I always knew you were a monkey.
**Who: Violet
**Source: ''[[WordGirl]]'' (2007-2015)

*Schlitweitz!
**Who: David and Lisa
**Source: ''[[The World of David the Gnome]]'' (1987)

*Wait, did we forget to put away the Happy Ha-Ha Bugs?
**Who: Wubbzy
**Source: ''[[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]]'' (2006-2010)

*Here we go! Yo Gabba Gabba...
**Who: DJ Lance
**Source: ''[[Yo Gabba Gabba!]]'' (2007-2015)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

===''Hilda''===
*Odds are...she'd do it again.
**Who: The Wood Man (Season 1)
**Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-present)

*Oh, Hilda. It's beautiful.
**Who: Johanna (Season 2)
**Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-present)

* Woo-hoo...OOF!
**Who: Hilda
**Source: ''Hilda and The Mountain King'' (2021)

===''Amphibia''===
* Hold on for a little longer girls. I'm coming for you and when I find you, we're gonna get home, but first I think we're gonna have some fun with this place.
**Who: Sasha Waybright (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

* No, I'm not.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

* I have a proposition for you Marcy. And I think you'll find it very interesting.
**Who: King Andras (Season 2A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)
**Note: Although &quot;A Day at the Aquarium&quot; is the mid-season finale, the mid-season finale that's a non-canon is &quot;The Shut In&quot; which could either be the season premiere or the mid-season finale. If the next episode was the mid-season finale, then the last line would be &quot;Not a holiday! Definitely not a holiday!&quot; by Anne Boonchuy.

* Home.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 2B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

* I can't imagine spending the holidays without your family. I know how hard it is to be apart and not know if you'll ever see each other again. So, I'm writing to let you know your daughter is alive. She's trapped in another world, but I promise, I'm going to bring her back home safe. Signed, a friend.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)
**Note: Although, it's not technically the last line in Season 3A. The mid-season finale was supposed to be &quot;Escape to Amphibia&quot;. That means Anne's real last line in Season 3A was supposed to be &quot;What happened here?&quot;.

* Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever. Sometimes, you have to let it go. But of the things you let go, you'd be surprised what makes its way back to you.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

===''Elinor Wonders Why''===
*Hello, baby tree!
**Who: Olive Elephant (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-present)

*Yes! We need more observations! Salta, ranita, salta! ''[giggles]''
**Who: Elinor Rabbit (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-present)

===''The Cuphead Show!''===
*Sorry, boys. I like ya, but not enough to tango with the cops. So long, fellas.
**Who: Ms. Chalice (Part 1)
**Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (2022-present)

=== ''Elliott from Earth'' ===
*Oh. Was that meant to happen?
**Who: 105E
**Source: ''[[Elliott from Earth]]'', Diminishing Discourse (2021)

===''The Powerpuff Girls''===
*''MOJO!!!'' You get out of there! You're nothing but a big party-crasher!!!
**Who: Bubbles
*So once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls...and the contaminated banana cream pie. 
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (1998-2005)

*Hoc-guy?
**Who: The Professor
**Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (2016-2019)

===''Cat Burglar''===
* But I...
**Who: Rowdy (Bad Ending)
**Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022)

* What can I say? I'm a non-existential cartoon cat!
**Who: Rowdy (Good Ending)
**Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022)

===''Big City Greens''===
*One step ahead of you.
**Who: Remy Remington (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*Whaaaaa?!
**Who: Remy Remington (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)
**Note: Quote from &quot;Phoenix Rises&quot; which is the actual mid-season finale. But, &quot;Forbidden Feline&quot; is probably the mid-season finale as it counts as a holiday special, despite it being the 37th episode in chronological order. So, the last line could be &quot;Look, I'm sorry I abandoned you earlier, but if you're gonna fancy me up, AT LEAST LET ME PICK THE DRESS!!!!&quot; by Cricket Green. 

*Ugh, fine.
**Who: Cricket Green (Season 1C)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*WHAT HAPPENED?!
**Who: Bill Green (Season 2A)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*And yet, it just...''did.''
**Who: Tilly Green (Season 2B)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*No, it's Gloria ''Plus'' Green. My name isn't -- oh, forget it.
**Who: Gloria Sato (Season 2C)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!!! Ah, forget it. I'll just see myself to my room.
**Who: Cricket Green (Season 3A part 1)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*I just had the craziest idea...
**Who: Bill Green (Season 3A part 2)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

===''The Ghost and Molly McGee''===
* Ooh!
**Who: Molly McGee (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-present)

===''The Owl House''===
* Yes, consume, grow wise, avoid paper cuts.
**Who: Bat Queen (Season 1A)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

* In the meantime, the Day of Unity is upon us. And we have much work to do.
**Who: Emperor Belos (Season 1B)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

* Who dubbed you a parent?
**Who: Eda (Season 2A)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

*Hey, Mom. I'm back.
**Who: Luz Noceda (Season 2B)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

===''Animaniacs''===
*That's why the right man for the job...''[tosses her hair]'' is always a woman. Wink!
** Who: Dot Warner (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-present)

*This time, I wonder if we'll dream.
** Who: Wakko Warner (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-present)

*It actually doesn't stink!
**Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Wakko Warner]]
*(post-credits:) Goodbye, nurse!
**Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Yakko, Wakko, and Dot]]
**Source: ''[[Animaniacs]]'' (1993-1998)

*I am not a refrigerator!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Animaniacs_characters#Pinky and the Brain|The Brain (Brain2-Me2)]]
**Source: ''[[Pinky and the Brain]]'' (1995-1998)

*And the moral of our story is...
**Who: Yakko Warner
**Source: ''[[Wakko's Wish]]'' (1999)

*I'm Underwear Head!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Elmyra Duff|Elmyra Duff]]
*They're Pinky, the Brain, and Underwear Head-head-head-head-head.
**Who: Off-screen vocals
**Source: ''[[Pinky, Elmyra &amp; the Brain]]'' (1998-1999)

===''Gravity Falls''===
*That's good.
**Who: Gideon Gleeful (Season 1A)
*(in-credits) Cross this town off our list.
**Who: Winninghouse Coupon Saver  (Season 1A)

*Here we go.
**Who: Stanley Pines (Season 1B)

*I am so on it, dude.
**Who: Soos Ramirez (Season 2A)

*If you've ever taken a road trip through the pacific northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called &quot;Gravity Falls&quot;. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it, some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there, somewhere in the woods. Waiting.
**Who: Dipper Pines (Season 2B)
**Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012–2016)

===''Star vs. the Forces of Evil''===
*I hope you found all the pieces to the wand.
**Who: Glossaryck (Season 1)

*I'm not a malady.
**Who: Ludo (Season 2A)

*Star! Hey! What do you mean--? ''[gasps]'' Star...?
**Who: Marco Diaz (Season 2B)

*My name is Metora.
**Who: Metora Butterfly (Season 3A)

*Hello, my love. We're home.
**Who: Eclipsa (Season 3B)

*Okay, you know, I will be waiting by the elevator.
**Who: Marco Diaz (Season 4A)

*Hi.
**Who: Star Butterfly (Season 4B)
**Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

===''Ben 10''===
*And for Ben Tennyson, who didn't want the summer to end, he would come to realize that going back to school was merely another beginning.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2005 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2005-2008)
**Notes: The final episode of the original series, ''Goodbye and Good Riddance'', was retconned as non-canon in the sequel series.

*If he ever does, it's hero time!
**Who: Ben Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Alien Force]]'' (2008-2010)

*Two is plenty.
**Who: Doyle Blackwell
**Source: ''[[The Secret Saturdays]]'' (2008-2010)

*Perhaps for your eighteenth birthday.
**Who: Azmuth
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien]]'' (2010-2012)

*Gwen? Okay, fine, Gwen''dolyn'', you and Kevin pack your bags, we're going on a road trip!
**Who: Ben Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Omniverse]]'' (2012-2014)

*You know what that means, kiddos? Team Tennyson is back in business!
**Who: Grandpa Max Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2017 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2017-2021)

===''The Berenstain Bears''===
*What about my kumquats? Oh, I love those kumquats.
**Who: Weasel McGreed
**Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (1985-1987)

*Anytime. Your tool belt will be right here waiting.
**Who: Papa Q. Bear
**Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (2003-2004)

===''Cow and Chicken''===
*Yeah! hold it, It was brilliant! Bravo! Get up, my little crab friends. Ow! oh, oh. Ow! oh, oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Easy with the pinchers. Ow! ow! oh. I did not have to bring you guys tonight! Looks like Red Guy always gets in the END! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
**Who: Red Guy
**Source: ''[[Cow and Chicken]]'' (1997-1999)

*It was Baboon all along and not me that everyone was watching. I am not a legend, I am a tool. Well, I guess it's dummies won, smart guys zero.
**Who: I.M Weasel
**Source: ''[[I Am Weasel]]'' (1997-2000)

===DC animated universe===
*It's okay, there'll be another time.
**Who: Batgirl
**Source: ''[[Batman: The Animated Series]]'' (1992-1995)

*One person at a time.
**Who: Lois Lane
**Source: ''[[Superman: The Animated Series]]'' (1996-2000)

*Guilty... guilty... guilty...
**Who: Two-Face
**Source: ''[[The New Batman Adventures]]'' (1997-1999)

*I'm coming.
**Who: Miguel Diaz 
**Source: ''[[Batman Beyond]]'' (1999-2001)

*Yeah, they can't get rid of ''us'' that easily.
**Who: Static
**Source: ''[[Static Shock]]'' (2000-2004)

*Don't worry, Zee, we'll find a way.
**Who: Ro Rowan 
**Source: ''[[The Zeta Project]]'' (2001-2002)

*I love you, too.
**Who: [[Green Lantern]] John Stewart
**Source: ''[[Justice League]]'' (2001-2004)

*And the adventure continues.
**Who: Wonder Woman
**Source: ''[[Justice League|Justice League Unlimited]]'' (2004-2006)

===DIC ''Mario'' Cartoons===
*Y'know, dearie, I've enjoyed your visit, but do me one favor: Next time, let me come and visit you!
**Who: Grandma Toadstool
**Source: ''[[The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!]]'' (1989)

*Yeah, but we couldn't have done it without our Toad!
**Who: Mario
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3]]'' (1990)

*Good night. Mama Luigi.
**Who: Yoshi
**Source: ''[[Super Mario World (TV series)|Super Mario World]]'' (1991)

===''Digimon''===
*Our adventure in the Digital World might be over for now, but that gate won't stay closed forever. I have a feeling that this won't be the last time we see our pals, the Digimon! You wait and see. One day, that portal will open up again and we'll return to the Digital World! I wonder if Agumon will remember me? I know I'll never forget him, or the rest of the Digimon! None of us will!
**Who: Tai Kamiya
**Source: ''Digimon Adventure'' (1999-2000)

*So, you can see we're still having adventures. They're just a little different from the ones we used to have when we were kids. The darkness has not been conquered, and it will continue to fight against the light forever, but as long as people remember to follow their dreams, evil will be kept at bay. And on days like today, it's hard to see any darkness anywhere. Now it's up to our children, and to children everywhere, to follow their dreams. Who knows where they'll end up, but the only way to find out is to take that first step into adventure.
**Who: T.K. Takashi
**Source: ''Digimon Adventure 02'' (2000-2001)

*Even though I thought I would never be the same, the world soon went back to normal and after a while so did I. Life became exactly as it was before I met Guilmon. Kazu still made bad jokes and Miss Nami still gave too much homework. Sometimes I go by our old hangouts just to see if he's there. Don't know why I bother, 'cause he's never there. Most times I'm OK but there's this one thing that bugs me: a promise I made to a friend—a promise I don't think I can keep.
**Who: Takato Matsuki
**Source: ''Digimon Tamers'' (2001-2002)

*But even if I spent time with my family— or other friends or with our family or just hanging around not crying I'll be best friends with you guys forever!
**Who: The Digidestined
**Source: ''Digimon Frontier'' (2002-2003)

===''Dora the Explorer''===
*Gracias.
**Who: Dora Márquez
**Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*Adios, amigos! See you soon!
**Who: Dora Márquez, Emma, Kate, Naiya, and Alana 
**Source: ''[[Dora and Friends: Into the City!]]'' (2014-2016)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*See you soon.
**Who: Alicia Márquez
**Source: ''[[Go, Diego, Go!]]'' (2005-2011)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

===''Dragon Ball''===
*For the continued adventures of Goku and his friends, be sure to watch Dragon Ball Z!
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball'' (1986-1989)

*Young Uub has been taken in by the greatest warrior on the planet--Goku, the orphan who fell from the stars to become the savior of mankind. One thing is certain: as long as Goku lives, peace AND prosperity will reign.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Z'' (1989-1996)

*Til we meet again, guys!
**Who: Goku
**Source: ''Dragon Ball GT'' (1996-1997)

*Goku, please come home.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Z Kai'' (2010-2018)

*See you all again!
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Super'' (2017-2019)

===''DuckTales''===
*Me wallet! Stop that thief! Don't let that sneak get away! Dijon!
**Who: Scrooge McDuck
**Source: ''[[DuckTales (1987 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (1987-1990)

*Plenty more adventures where that came from, eh, lad? Now, where in blazes is that cocoa stand? I am freezing!
**Who: Scrooge McDuck (Season 1A)

*Boys?!
**Who: Della Duck (Season 1B)

*I'm home.
**Who: Della Duck (Season 2A)

*This has gone too far. The ducks almost cost us a world today. And, without the world, who would we larceny against? The pieces are finally in piece. Time to come out of the shadows, take control, and end Clan Mcduck. If the Mcduck family wants an adventure, we'll give them their last.
**Who: Chairman Bradford Buzzard/FOWL Agent (Season 2B)

*Woo-hoo!
**Who: Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby (Season 3A)

*Alright. That was close, Launchpad. Phew, almost ruined the tender family moment.
**Who: Launchpad McQuack (Season 3B)
**Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021)

===''Fancy Nancy''===
*We here at the School De Fancy now sees that everyone has their own way of being fancy. And as long as it makes you happy...we think it's magnifique!
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 1)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

*It sure feels magnifique to be home!
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 2)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

*It's…magic. And the only thing more magical than Paris is famille. That's French for family.
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 3)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

===''The Proud Family''===
*Come on, Puff!
**Who: Suga Mama (Season 1)
**Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-present)

===''Infinity Train''===
*I'm ready for anything.
**Who: Tulip Olsen (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

*I wanted to be cool one time, just once. Nerd.
**Who: Jesse Cosay (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

*Guess we'll have to figure it out.
**Who: Grace Monroe (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

*We're...
*We're working on it.
**Who: Min-Gi Park and Ryan Akagi (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

===''Inspector Gadget''===
*I'll get you next time, Gadget! Just you wait!
**Who: Dr. Claw
**Source: ''[[Inspector Gadget]]'' (1982-1986)

===''The Lion King''===
*Oy.
**Who: [[w:Timon and Pumbaa|Timon]]
**Source: ''[[Timon &amp; Pumbaa (TV series)|Timon &amp; Pumbaa]]'' (1995-1999)

===''The Loud House''===
*Dang it!
**Who: Loud family (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*Looks like we're getting the hang of not being so overprotective, huh, Howie? Howie? I'll get the smelling salts.
**Who: Harold McBride (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*Ooh, I got one: hamburgers.
**Who: Leni Loud (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*It's just till the end of the summer.
**Who: Lori Loud (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*You got it! All right, everybody. Back to class, or it's a week's detention!
**Who: Rusty Spokes (Season 5)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*Ronnie Anne! That's my line!
**Who: Carlino Casagrande (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019-present)

*Thank you, Mr. President.
**Who: Ronnie Anne Santiago (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019-present)

===''Madagascar''===
*Even the problem, not our jurisdiction.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Skipper|Skipper]]
**Source: ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (2008-2015)

*Where are we?
**Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Alex|Alex]]
**Source: ''[[All Hail King Julien]]'' (2014-2017)

===''Marvel Animation Universe''===
*I made the show. Hulk Out. Bam, I said it. Hulk Out.
**Who: A-Bomb
**Source: ''[[Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.]]'' (2013-2015)

*So, I guess this is it. But there's no need to get all sappy. I thought once I became the Ultimate Spider-Man, that would mean my work was done. But far from it. This isn't the end, this is only the beginning.
**Who: Spider-Man
**Source: ''[[Ultimate Spider-Man (TV series)|Ultimate Spider-Man]]'' (2012–2017)

===''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic''===
*In fact, it’s made it...
*...the best night ever!
**Who: Mane Six and Spike (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Oh, yeah? Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party!
**Who: Spike (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Yes! Everything's gonna be just fine!
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Yes, well, I suppose not.
**Who: Discord (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Wonder what she's dreaming about now.
**Who: Spike (Season 5A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Starting is easy. All you have to do is make a friend; and you've got ''seven'' of them right here.
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 5B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Friendship lessons can happen...anywhere.
**Who: Starlight Glimmer (Season 6A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Somepony is really gonna have to catch us up on what we missed.
**Who: Rainbow Dash (Season 6B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Seriously, this is heavy.
**Who: Pinkie Pie (Season 7A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*It's funny. I thought meeting my idol would give me all the answers I ever wanted. But instead, I forgot what I already knew. Good thing I had a student of my own to remind me.
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 7B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Gotcha! Maybe I'm not such a bad actress after all.
**Who: Princess Celestia (Season 8A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Hey, neighbor. Wanna be friends?
**Who: Cozy Glow (Season 8B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Nicely done.
**Who: Princess Celestia (Season 9A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*That's all right, because I know exactly where to send you.
**Who: Future Twilight Sparkle (Season 9B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

===''Green Eggs and Ham''===
*That's why we should get going!
**Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 1)
**Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019-2022)

*Yes! She likes them! Oh, this is good news!
**Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 2)
**Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019-2022)

===''Rugrats''===
*Happy Birthday, Kimi!
**Who: Chuckie Finster
**Source: ''[[Rugrats]]'' (1991-2004)

*&quot;Gotcha&quot;!?
**Who: Tommy Pickles
**Source: ''[[All Grown Up!]]'' (2003-2008)

*Well look, class! Our friend Mr. Sun has come to say hello! Isn't it wonderful? And we're all back to our happy happy happy selves!
**Who: Miss Weemer
**Source: ''[[Rugrats Pre-School Daze]]'' (2008)

===''Steven Universe''===
*Yes, please!
**Who: Pearl
**Source: ''[[Steven Universe]]'' (2013-2019)

*Bye!
**Who: Pearl
**Source: ''[[Steven Universe Future]]'' (2019-2020)

===''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles''===
*Except Donatello's cooking.
**Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (1987-1996)

*Yeah! Ha-ha-ha!
**Who: [[w:Michelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Michelangelo]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2003-2009)

*We are home.
**Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2012-2017)

*Wait, what?
**Who: [[w:Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Leonardo]]
**Source: ''[[Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2018-2020)

===''Tiny Toon Adventures''===
*Season's Greetings!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Gogo Dodo|Gogo Dodo]]
**Source: ''[[Tiny Toon Adventures]]'' (1990-1992)

*Parting is such sweet sorrow.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Plucky Duck|Plucky Duck]]
**Source: ''[[The Plucky Duck Show]]'' (1992)

===''Total Drama''===
*At least things can only go up from here. [sighs] Of course.
**Who: Dave
**Source: ''[[Total Drama]]'' (2007-2014)

* Yes. Throw all your money on the ground. Very smart. That's all for now, we hope we enjoyed our incredible race around the world. Be sure to keep an eye out for more of ''The Ridonculous Race''.
**Who: Don
**Source: ''[[Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race]]'' (2015)

===''Transformers''===
*We shall see, Galvatron. We shall see.
**Who: Zarak
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Generation 1|The Transformers]]'' (1984-1987)

*Waspinator happy at last.
**Who: Waspinator
**Source: ''[[Beast Wars|Beast Wars: Transformers]]'' (1996-1999)

*He's with us, Rattrap. As long as Cybertron is alive, Optimus lives on. In our hearts and our memories. As well Megatron had also played a grand role in the vital scheme. The vision from the Oracle has come to pass. Optimus has finally achieved his mission.
**Who: Cheetor
**Source: ''[[Beast Machines|Beast Machines: Transformers]]'' (1999-2000)

*''Who's the smartest shark around?/Who's the coolest shark in town?/Sky-Byte, that's me!'' Ha!
**Who: Sky-Byte
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2001)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2001-2002)

*The war between the Autobots and the Decepticons has come to an end, and without the hatred between the two sides, there was no evil to feed Unicron, and he became powerless. Both Unicron and Megatron scattered into the far reaches of the universe. As for me, my purpose has been served. Cybertron is safe and Transformers live in peace with the Mini-Cons. So the next time you look out into space and see a peaceful star far, far away, it just might be Cybertron. TRANSFORM!
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Armada]]'' (2002-2003)

*Check it out, Ironhide. That's our future out there.
**Who: Kicker Jones
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Energon]]'' (2004-2005)

*Fire up the engines to full throttle! We have a course set to the far reaches of the universe, and it's time to go! Courage, hope for the future, and teamwork—our adventure will continue as long as we remember the words of Primus: 'Til all are one! TRANSFORM!!!
**Who: Optimus Prime and everybody
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Cybertron]]'' (2005-2006)

*That would be the easy way out, Megatron. You don't deserve it.
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers Animated]]'' (2007-2009)

*Until we meet again, old friend.
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Prime]]'' (2010-2013)

*I want to get a picture of my heroes.
**Who: Chief Charlie Burns
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Rescue Bots]]'' (2011-2016)

*Saved by the howl. Autobots, let's rev up and roll out.
**Who: Bumblebee
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2015-2017)

===''Unikitty!''===

*Nice job, Bat-team.
**Who: Unikitty (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

*Happens to the festival, Amigo.
**Who: Dunklecorn (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

*Nice.
**Who: One of the Two Astronauts (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

===''[[Winx Club]]''===
*Listen. Whatever it is you choose to do, I want you to know that you're not alone.
**Who: Sky (Cinélume, Season 1)
*To next year!
**Who: Alfea students (4Kids, Season 1)

*Mirta!
**Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 2)
*Wait for us!
**Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 2)

*Yes, I think I'm ready. Mom, dad, I feel like were going to meet very, very soon.
**Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 3)
*I think I'm ready. Mom, Dad, I feel like we're going to meet really soon.
**Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 3)
*I ''am'' ready. Mom, Dad, I have a feeling we're going to meet very, very soon.
**Who: Bloom (Atlas Oceanic, Season 3)

*Your journey on the path of magic also passes through Gardenia. Now off you go, you're on in a minute!
**Who: Faragonda (Cinélume, Season 4)
*A fairy's magical journey includes all her dreams and passions. Now off you go, show me what you've got, girls!
**Who: Faragonda (Atlas Oceanic, Season 4)

*Best little sister in the known universe!
**Who: Daphne (Season 5)

*Thanks, cuz.
**Who: Thoren (Season 6)

*Even the smallest creature can play a key role in the destiny of all the worlds.
**Who: Bloom (Season 7)

*Winx forever!
**Who: Stella (Season 8)

*There is not enough room for fairies and witches on Earth!
**Who: Venomya/Baba Yaga
**Source: ''[[World of Winx]]'' (2016-2017)
**Note: Ended after two seasons with no resolution due to the crew returning to the original show.

==See also==
* [[First lines in animated TV shows]]

[[Category:Last lines|Animated]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows|*]]</text>
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      <parentid>3149244</parentid>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="53365" xml:space="preserve">==Animated TV shows==
* You're coming with me, punk!
**Who: Ron the Rent-a-Cop
**Source: ''[[6teen]]'' (2004-2010)

*Oh yeah!
**Who: Shermy
**Source: ''[[Adventure Time]]'' (2010-2018)

*Being Choose Goose is no lark... especially now that I'm turning dark.
**Who: Choose Goose
**Source: ''[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]'' (2020-2021)

*That's right, be afraid! Be very afraid! And tell all your cold-blooded friends there's plenty more where that came from!
**Who: Baby Eddie
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2002-2006)

*Oh no. It's started.
**Who: Rob
**Source: ''[[The Amazing World of Gumball]]'' (2011-2019)

*Trust me. There's something magical about you too.
**Who: Jake Long
**Source: ''[[American Dragon: Jake Long]]'' (2005-2007)
**Notes: The closing credits to this episode views clips from the show's previous episodes.

* I am... I... I think as we are very tired, we should go down to the pond for a drink. Then we'll go back to our nests and burrows and sleep. We can explore our big new park tomorrow. And then we will plan how to live together in perfect peace and harmony. In the true spirits of Farthing Wood.
**Who: Plucky
**Source: ''[[The Animals of Farthing Wood (TV series)|The Animals of Farthing Wood]]'' (1993-1995)

*Mechana can we do it?
*We Animal Mechanical can!
**Who: Animal Mechanicals
**Source: ''[[Animal Mechanicals]]'' (2007-2011)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*We still got a few seconds left. Let's do a joke. Let's do like, a joke or something.
**Who: Meatwad
**Source: ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' (2000-2015)

*&quot;Chapter one: how I got my very first pair of glasses…&quot;
**Who: Adult Arthur
**Source: ''[[Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]'' (1996-2022)

*Well, I think you all look ''perfect''.
**Who: Toph Beifong
** Source: ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'' (2005-2008)

*You wanted to know how history will remember the Avengers, Iron Man? Well, here's your answer.
**Who: Captain America
**Source: ''[[The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes]]'' (2010-2013)

*Where shall I begin?
**Who: [[w:Babar the Elephant|King Babar]]
**Source: ''[[Babar (TV series)|Babar]]'' (1989-2000)

*Fine, but don't blame me if dinner is late! I'd like to see you cook a meal in your arms where your legs should be! Maybe I'll go on the Goraldo Show, he'll believe me about the aliens! I can't find my tush!
**Who: Nora Beady
**Source: ''[[Back at the Barnyard]]'' (2007-2011)

*Mini-muffin?
**Who: Tasha and Austin
**Source: ''[[The Backyardigans]]'' (2004-2010)

*Nice try.
**Who: Batman
**Source: ''[[The Batman]]'' (2004-2008)

*A great run. And until we meet again boys and girls, know that wherever evil lurks in all its myriad forms, I'll be there with the hammers of justice to fight for decency, and defend the innocent. Goodnight.
**Who: Batman
**Source: ''[[Batman: The Brave and the Bold]]'' (2008-2011)

*I love you too, son. This message will self-destruct in 3...2...1...
**Who: [[w:Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)|Fred Jones]] (reading a letter from his father)
**Source: ''[[Be Cool, Scooby-Doo!]]'' (2015-2018)

*P2, going down.
**Who: Elevator Announcer
**Source: ''[[Beavis and Butt-head]]'' (1993-97; 2011)

*Bravo, Batman. Checkmate. Shall we play again?
**Who: Anarky
**Source: ''[[Beware the Batman]]'' (2013-2014)

*Ba-a-la-la-la-la.
**Who: Baymax
**Source: ''[[Big Hero 6: The Series]]'' (2017-2021)

*Welcome to Taco Shack. May I take your order?
**Who: Taco Shack Employee
**Source: ''[[Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer]]'' (2017)
**Note: Cancelled after one season due to poor ratings.

*Riley, run!
**Who: Huey Freeman
**Source: ''[[The Boondocks]]'' (2005-2014)

*Yeah. This is nice.
**Who: BoJack Horseman
**Source: ''[[BoJack Horseman]]'' (2014-2020)

*Never mind, I can't wait.
**Who: Brandy Harrington
**Source: ''[[Brandy &amp; Mr. Whiskers]]'' (2004-2006)

*Yup, yup! Let us swim to freedom!
**Who: Buhdeuce
**Source: ''[[Breadwinners]]'' (2014-2016)

*I'm stuck in a tree!
**Who: Bunsen
**Source: ''[[Bunsen Is a Beast]]'' (2017-2018)
**Note: Series cancelled after one season due to declining ratings and Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon.

*Okay, Who's up for cupcake?
**Who: Pupert Pesky
**Source: ''[[The Buzz on Maggie]]'' (2005-2006)

*Sometimes change is good. Having a new teacher turned out to be a lot of fun.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Caillou]]'' (1997-2010)

*Please tell me we go home alone with her?
**Who: McGee
**Source: ''[[Camp Lakebottom]]'' (2013-2017)

*Okay. I think it's just officially got to the point where it can't get any weirder.
**Who: Samson
*(in-credits:) Uh, yeah... okay. 
**Who: Stanley
**Source: ''[[Camp Lazlo]]'' (2005-2008)

*Yeah! Woo-hoo!
**Who: Nick and Sally
**Source: ''The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That!'' (2011-2018)

*Stop it, Zouzou. You're suppose to be a watch dog, not a kiss dog! ''[laughs]''
**Who: Charley
**Source: ''[[Charley and Mimmo]]'' (1999-2002)

*I have saved a fucking gorilla today, I also talked a very special idiot out of willing himself dead, and now, just because I'm too hairy in some places and too bald in other places, you can't find it in your putrid little heart to want to get to know me sexually? [Laughs sarcastically] What's wrong with me? What is wrong with you? I am magical!
**Who: Frank
**Source: ''[[China, IL]]'' (2011-2015)

*Babies, no! Put Scraps down!
**Who: Adult Chowder
*(post-credits:) Oh, radda.
**Who: Shnitzel
**Source: ''[[Chowder (TV series)|Chowder]]'' (2007-2010)

*Yes!
**Who: Clarence Wendle
**Source: ''[[Clarence (American TV series)|Clarence]]'' (2014-2018)

*Enjoy the moment, Jay. For the future is no longer foretold.
**Who: Cronus
**Source: ''[[Class of the Titans]]'' (2005-2008)

*What?! This is your fault!
**Who: Lil' D
**Source: ''[[Class of 3000]]'' (2006-2008)

*We are dumb.
**Who: Donna Tubbs-Brown
**Source: ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' (2009-2013)
**Note: Ended after four seasons due to declining ratings.

*Hello? Yeah. We told him everything he wanted to hear. We'll meet you in the moonbase, okay? Oh! And Numbuh 1... Welcome back.
**Who: Adult Abigail Lincoln (Numbuh 5)
*(post-credits:) Stay young.
**Who: None
**Source: ''[[Codename: Kids Next Door]]'' (2002-2008)
**Notes: The final credits roll with a short montage of every episode from beginning to finish, ending with a picture of Sector V looking at the sunset outside the treehouse with the actual final lines read above them, &quot;Stay Young&quot;.

*What more could a bear ask for?
**Who: [[w:Corduroy (book)|Corduroy]]
**Source: ''[[Corduroy (TV series)|Corduroy]]'' (2000-2001)

*Perfect!
**Who: The Perfectionist (offscreen)
**Source: ''[[Courage the Cowardly Dog]]'' (1996-2002)

*That's right, Cubix. We're friends. Friends forever.
**Who: Connor
**Source: ''[[Cubix: Robots for Everyone]]'' (2001-2003)

*Thanks, Dan.
**Who: Little Chris
**Source: ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' (2011-2013)

*Cool statue. Personally, I would've used recycled materials, but, you know, that's just me.
**Who: Sam Manson
**Source: ''[[Danny Phantom]]'' (2004-2007)

*I take it back.
**Who: Jane
**Source: ''[[Daria]]'' (1997-2002)

*Come on, Eep. The moon's looking at me funny again. We need to go smash his face!
**Who: Grug Crood
**Source: ''[[Dawn of the Croods]]'' (2015-2017)

*I can do anything with my best friends on my side.
**Who: Dottie &quot;Doc&quot; McStuffins
**Source: ''[[Doc McStuffins]]'' (2012-2020)

*Oh yeah. Hehehe. Anybody wanna dance?
**Who: Donkey Kong
**Source: ''[[Donkey Kong Country]]'' (1998-2000)

*It's a perfect name!
**Who: Enrique
**Source: ''[[Dragon Tales]]'' (1999-2005)

*Hey, assholes, thanks for watching!
**Who: [[w:List of Drawn Together characters#Toot Braunstein|Toot Braunstein]]
**Source: ''[[Drawn Together]]'' (2004-2007)

*First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth!
**Who: Lee
*(post-credits:) It's the end of the movie? What movie?
**Who: Jonny
**Source: ''[[Ed Edd n Eddy]]'' (1999-2009)

*Familia forever!
**Who: El Tigre
**Source: ''[[El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera]]'' (2007-2008)

*I am.
**Who: Elena
**Source: ''[[Elena of Avalor]]'' (2016-2020)

*Remember, friends help friends solve problems. See you next time! 
**Who: [[w:Elliot Moose|Elliot Moose]]
**Source: ''[[Elliot Moose (TV series)|Elliot Moose]]'' (1998-2000)

*Hmm. Maybe being emperor won't be so bad after all.
**Who: Kuzco
*(post-credits:) KUZCO!!
**Who: Yzma
**Source: ''[[The Emperor's New School]]'' (2006-2008)

*Happy Friendaversary!
**Who: [[w:Timmy Tiberius Turner|Timmy Turner]] and Chloe Carmichael
**Source: ''[[The Fairly OddParents|The Fairly OddParents!]]'' (2001-2017)
**Note: Ended after ten seasons due to Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon and due to declining ratings.

*Oh.
**Who: Ruff Ruffman
*I love you guys!
**Who: Emmie Atwood
**Source: ''[[Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman]]'' (2006-2010)

*I'm king of the world! King of the world!
**Who: Milo Fishtooth
**Source: ''[[Fish Hooks]]'' (2010-2014)

*Okay, bye doggies!
**Who: Cheese
**Source: ''[[Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends]]'' (2004-2009)

*Come on, Franklin.
**Who: Beaver
**Source: ''[[Franklin (TV series)|Franklin]]'' (1997-2004)

*You're an evil man!
**Who: Norm Abram
**Source: ''[[Freakazoid!]]'' (1995-1997)

*What a great day!
**Who: Kiki
**Source: ''[[Fresh Beat Band of Spies]]'' (2014-2016)

*I do.
**Who: Leela
**Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (2008-2013)

*Welcome home, Goliath. Welcome home.
**Who: Elisa Maza
**Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)|Gargoyles]]'' (1994–1996)

*One thousand years ago, we lived in a world that understood our purpose. It was the age of Gargoyles. Ten centuries later, we awoke to a world bent on our destruction. Somehow, we never lost hope, and today we come full circle. A new age has begun, and we live again.
**Who: Goliath
**Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)#Season 3 (The Goliath Chronicles) -- (Non-Cannon)|Gargoyles: The Goliath Chronicles]]'' (1996–1997)

*Yes, there is.
**Who: Agent Six
**Source: ''[[Generator Rex]]'' (2010-2013)

*Knowing Razer, I'd say he's got a pretty good shot.
**Who: Hal Jordan
**Source: ''[[Green Lantern: The Animated Series]]'' (2011-2013)

*Thanks for coming out, everyone!
**Who: Cory Riffin, Kin Kujira, Kon Kujira, and Laney Penn
**Source: ''[[Grojband]]'' (2013-2015)

*Yeah. You found each other. When a friend comes into your life, it changes you a little. They challenge you. They make you laugh. They make you stronger. Each person gives you a gift. A special part of them that you keep forever. It's like they're always with you.
**Who: Irving Beaks
**Source: ''[[Harvey Beaks]]'' (2015-2017)

*He's never gonna hear the end of it.
**Who: Rhonda
**Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!]]'' (1996-2004)

*Sorry, I didn't mean-- I'd take it back! Mmm, charred marshmallow flesh. Whoa! N-n-no! I didn't say that. No, it wasn't me. That wasn't someone, who else? Get off this ship, you're not welcome.
**Who: Nerville
**Source: ''[[The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange]]'' (2012-2014)

*Oh, she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. This is the life...or more less.
**Who: Kaz Harada
**Source: ''[[Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi]]'' (2004-2006)

*That's a wrap!
**Who: Father Time
**Source: ''[[Histeria!]]'' (1998-2000)

*I feels very at home.
**Who: Oh
**Source: ''[[Home: Adventures with Tip &amp; Oh]]'' (2016-2018)

*I could go for tapas…
**Who: Brendan
**Source: ''[[Home Movies (TV series)|Home Movies]]'' (1999-2004)

*Oh, Mickey!
**Who: Minnie Mouse
**Source: ''[[w:House of Mouse|House of Mouse]]'' (2001-2003)

*I love you too, Bertie!
**Who: Arlo Beauregard
**Source: ''I Heart Arlo'' (2021)

*Get out of the house of Zim! This is my house, get out! Get-
**Who: Zim
**Source: ''[[Invader Zim]]'' (2001-2006)

*Why not?! You weren't using it! You're always﻿ too busy fighting wizards!
**Who: Drago
**Source: ''[[Jackie Chan Adventures]]'' (2000-2005)

*That was brilliant! Thank ye, mates! See you next time!
**Who: John Darling
**Source: ''[[Jake and the Never Land Pirates]]'' (2011-2016)

*You're wrong Mr. Teacherman, this is Porkbelly. Where we make our own history.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Johnny_Test_characters#Johnny Test|Johnny Test]]
**Source: ''[[Johnny Test]]'' (2005-2014)

*You bet, pal!
**Who: Kick Buttowski
**Source: ''[[Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil]]'' (2010-2012)
**Note: Cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings.

*I told you graduation wasn't the end of the world.
**Who: Kim Possible
*(post-credits) Glad you asked! Funny story - not funny &quot;ha-ha&quot;. But, it was a Tuesday...
**Who: Dr. Drakken
**Source: ''[[Kim Possible]]'' (2002-2007)

*Yup!
**Who: Hank Hill
**Source: ''[[King of the Hill]]'' (1997-2010)

*Duck!
**Who: Arnold
**Source: ''[[Kipper (TV series)|Kipper]]'' (1997-2000)

*Hey everybody, Let's hear it for the Dragon Warrior! Huzzah, huzzah...
**Who: Lu Kang and the citizens
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness]]'' (2011-2016)

*There you go!
**Who: Littlefoot
**Source: ''[[The Land Before Time (TV series)|The Land Before Time]]'' (2007-2008)

*Sounds perfect.
**Who: Korra
**Source: ''[[The Legend of Korra]]'' (2012-2014)

*Now is a time of celebration. We have won a great victory. But when the glow has faded, we must remember the cost, and we must be forever vigilant. The message of hate that Mordred carried will come again with a different name, a different face. But as long as we keep the ideals of Camelot alive in our hearts, we will prevail. Long live honor, and justice. Long live goodness, and truth. Long live... Camelot!
**Who: King Arthur
**Source: ''[[The Legend of Prince Valiant]]'' (1991-1993)

*Evil does not die. It evolves.
**Who: Brainiac 6
**Source: ''[[Legion of Super Heroes]]'' (2006-2008)

*I love you too, Stitch.
**Who: Lilo Pelekai
**Source: ''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch: The Series]]'' (2003-2006)

*Little Bill, who are you talking to?
**Who: Brenda Glover
**Source: ''[[Little Bill]]'' (1999-2004)

*I can't believe they canceled our show and put this on instead.
**Who: Lulu Moppet
**Source: ''[[The Little Lulu Show]]'' (1995-1999)

*Someday, kiddo. Someday.
**Who: Roger Baxter
**Source: ''[[Littlest Pet Shop (2012 TV series)|Littlest Pet Shop]]'' (2012-2016)
**Note: Cancelled due to poor toy sales. Succeeded by the reboot ''A World Of Our Own''.

*And who you all think should be the most valuable player?
**Who: Floyd Minton
*''[cheering]'' PETUNIA!!!
**Who: Baby Bugs, Baby Lola, Baby Taz, Baby Daffy, Baby Melissa, Baby Tweety, and Baby Sylvester
*Yay!!!
**Who: Baby Tweety
**Source: ''Baby Looney Tunes'' (2001-2005)
**Note: Canceled due to poor ratings and negative reviews. It was succeeded by ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' in 2011.

*Ain't I a stinker?
**Who: Bugs Bunny as Batman
*And that's the end.
**Who: [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] (Post-credits)
**Source: ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' (2011-2014)

*I just call &quot;dibs&quot; on his fish flakes.
**Who: A fish
**Source: ''[[Mad (TV series)|MAD]]'' (2010-2013)

*Hooray for Maggie!
**Who: Beast, Hamilton Hocks, Rudy, Nedley, and the Jellybean Team
**Source: ''[[Maggie and the Ferocious Beast]]'' (2000-2002)

*Yut is pleased by attention!
**Who: Mister Yut 
**Source: ''Littlest Pet Shop: A World of Our Own'' (2018-19)
**Note: Cancelled after one season.

*Leave me alone, or I will call my fiend back!
**Who: Vendetta
**Source: ''[[Making Fiends (TV series)|Making Fiends]]'' (2008)

*I'm the luckiest one here. I have two families! Now about that turkey...
**Who: Martha
**Source: ''[[Martha Speaks (TV series)|Martha Speaks]]'' (2008-2014)

*The president cut the strings shorter. Only one foot long! Much safer for everyone.
**Who: Peg
*Definitely! 
**Who: Cat
**Source: ''Peg + Cat'' (2014-2018)

*I guess we will, baby. I guess we will.
**Who: Bubbie
**Source: ''[[The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack]]'' (2008-2010)

*So even though things didn't go exactly like they were supposed to, that matinee turned out to be one of our best shows ever. Now that's teamwork. What can I say, Mom and Dad? We're a real class act. 
**Who: Eddy Largo
**Source: ''[[Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse]]'' (2000-2002)

*Max! You and your gumball spitting spider gave us what we wanted. A big...
**Who: Ruby
*Finish!
**Who: Max
**Source: ''[[Max &amp; Ruby]]'' (2003-2019)

*It's a funny thing about making a commitment. Even though sometimes you don't want to follow through. Once you do, you're glad you did.
**Who: Maya Santos
**Source: ''[[Maya &amp; Miguel]]'' (2004-2007)

*Now, let's see what kind of new stuff the evil me put in Megas. Woo! Yeah, Wah-hoo! Yeah! Wa, ha, ha!
**Who: Harold &quot;Coop&quot; Cooplowski
**Source: ''[[Megas XLR]]'' (2004-2005)

*I believe that you would, Slick. Now how about a hand?
**Who: Agent K
**Source: ''[[Men in Black: The Series]]'' (1997-2001)

*See you real soon!
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Note: Catchphrase that ends every episode of Season 1.
*Aw, thanks for stopping by!
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Note: Catchphrase that ends almost every episode of Seasons 2-4.
*Good night, everybody.
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse Clubhouse]]'' (2006-2016)
**Note: Official last line of the series, because the series got cancelled after four seasons due to poor ratings. It was succeeded by ''Mickey and the Roadster Racers''.

*Oh, Haps! I don't know if you can see from your side, but I just skywrote 'Bessie and Happy BFFAEAE' and it looks really great!
**Who: Bessie Higgenbottom
**Source: ''[[The Mighty B!]]'' (2008-2011)

*Don't worry about it.
**Who: Witchy Simone
**Source: ''[[Mighty Magiswords]]'' (2016-2019)

*I think we're gonna need a new ship.
**Who: Milo Murphy
**Source: ''[[Milo Murphy's Law]]'' (2016-2019)
**Note: Either on hiatus or cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings. 

*Weddings, Priya. They do something to you.
**Who: Mira
**Source: ''Mira, Royal Detective'' (2020-2022)

*Y'see? Sometimes one small Mixel is all it takes. Yup, Mixopolis is my town. And always will be.
**Who: Booger
**Source: ''[[Mixels]]'' (2014-2016)

*Okay, going for the triple bonus.
**Who: President Hathaway
**Source: ''[[w:Monsters vs. Aliens (TV series)|Monsters vs. Aliens]]'' (2013-2014)

*Today's Christmas sermon is about family. What is family? Well, a lot of times, family is just a bunch of people who are forced to be together just because they came out of each other — but every so often...a miracle happens. A loving family, just like that, out of nowhere. Now, what causes this — a belief in God, a strong moral structure, blind luck? Who knows, who cares? Ah, you're not gonna get any answers out of me. I'm just a puppet for the Big Guy. I don't write this stuff. The end — I mean, Amen. Nah, who am I kidding? The End.
**Who: Reverend &quot;Rod&quot; Putty
**Source: ''[[Moral Orel]]'' (2005-2008)

*Oh, freak me out! This is craziness! (US version)
*Leave me alone, you ticklish pest! (UK version)
**Who: Mr. Bump
**Source: ''[[The Mr. Men Show]]'' (2008-2009)

*See you later, friends. And thanks for all the laughs.
**Who: Kermit
**Source: ''[[Muppet Babies (2018 TV series)|Muppet Babies]]'' (2018-2022)

*Thanks.
**Who: Thunder
**Source: ''[[My Friend Rabbit]]'' (2007-2008)

*Uh-oh.
**Who: Adam Lyon
**Source: ''[[My Gym Partner's a Monkey]]'' (2005-2008)

*Jenny, did you forget to feed the tiger?
**Who: Nora
**Source: ''[[My Life as a Teenage Robot]]'' (2003-2009)

*Monkey King!
**Who: Kai-Lan, Hoho, Tolee, and Rintoo
**Source: ''[[Ni Hao, Kai-Lan]]'' (2007-2011)

*Thank you for watching the show!
**Who: K.O.
**Source: ''[[OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes]]'' (2017-2019)

*Good night, Olivia. Time for bed, William!
**Who: Mom
**Source: ''[[Olivia]]'' (2009-2013)

*''(translation)'' Phase one is complete, 807612r-B9. Commence Phase two?
**Who: The Guardian
**Source: ''[[Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero]]'' (2014-2017)

*Yes. Yes we do.
**Who: Phineas Flynn
**Source: ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]'' (2007-2015)

*Poppets away!
**Who: Blooter, Patty, and Bobby
**Source: ''[[Poppets Town]]'' (2008-2009)

*Not just yet. My person calls. I'll see you in the morning. And I'll be on time, I promise. But I'm not skipping breakfast. Because believe me, breakfast with Dot, it's the most important meal of my day.
**Who: Lucky
**Source: ''[[Pound Puppies (2010 TV series)|Pound Puppies]]'' (2010-2013)

*Make a run of yourselves! I'm running away!
**Who: Alfe
**Source: ''[[The Problem Solverz]]'' (2011-2013)

*Nobody ever listens to me.
**Who: Zak
**Source: ''[[Rabbids Invasion]]'' (2013-2017)

*I love you, Rapunzel.
**Who: [[w:Flynn Rider|Eugene Fitzherbert]]
**Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

*Attention. As you are no doubt aware, the Principal Office is now under my complete control. You're probably looking forward to one of my erudite speeches about me, Megaframe, the new viral dawn, et cetera et cetera. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. There is no grand scheme here. This is about revenge. Viruses are predatory by design, and it is time for me to follow my function. Prepare yourselves... for the hunt!
**Who: Megabyte
**Source: ''[[ReBoot]]'' (1994-2001)
**Note: Ended after four seasons with no resolution.

*Jolly good show.
**Who: Pops Maellard
**Source: ''[[Regular Show]]'' (2010-2017)

*Aw, raggy!
**Who: Stimpy
**Source: ''[[The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]'' (1991-1996)

*Always, sis. Always.
**Who: Todd Daring
**Source: ''[[The Replacements (TV series|The Replacements]]'' (2006-2009)

*And we're cancelled.
**Who: Dog
**Source: ''[[Right Now Kapow]]'' (2016-2017)

*No... Ashi...
**Who: Jack
**Source: ''[[Samurai Jack]]'' (2001-2004; 2017)

*Yeah!
**Who: Sanjay Patel, Craig Slithers, Megan Sparkles, Hector Flanagan, Ronnie Slithers, and Tuff Fist
**Source: ''[[Sanjay and Craig]]'' (2013-2016)

*I'm happy you're home too, Sofia.
**Who: Princess Amber
**Source: ''[[Sofia the First]]'' (2012-2018)

*Don't apologize. I never do.
**Who: Norman Osborn
**Source: ''[[The Spectacular Spider-Man (TV series)|The Spectacular Spider-Man]]'' (2008-2009)

*Hip hip hooray! The Super Readers saved the day!
**Who: Whyatt Beanstalk
**Source: ''[[Super Why!]]'' (2007-2016)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*Then let's do this together.
**Who: Adora/She-Ra
**Source: ''[[She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]'' (2018-2020)

*It was an accident, and accident!
**Who: Eric Needles
**Source: ''[[Sidekick (TV series)|Sidekick]]'' (2010-2013)

*Well, there's always next season.
**Who: Dr. Eggman
**Source: ''[[Sonic Boom (TV series)]]'' (2014-2017)

*Game over butt-nik!
**Who: Sonic
**Source: ''[[Sonic Underground]]'' (1999)

*I may have been small today, but it turned out to be the biggest day of my life.
**Who: Oso
**Source: ''[[Special Agent Oso]]'' (2009-2012)

*Kimmy? Uh, hello? Kimmy. Umm... Kimmy?
**Who: Amber
**Source: ''[[Sym-Bionic Titan]]'' (2010-2011)

*Umifriend, we couldn't have done it without you!
**Who: Milli
**Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode in Season 1.
*I feel a celebration coming on!
**Who: Bot
**Source: ''[[Team Umizoomi]]'' (2010-2015)
**Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode (starting with the second season), the actual last line is the final verse of the Umi Shake song: &quot;Mighty, mighty, mighty... MATH POWERS!&quot;

*Beast Boy to Robin: I'm on my way, over.
**Who: Beast Boy
**Source: ''[[Teen Titans]]'' (2003-2006)
**Note: Cancelled after five seasons.

* If you don't mind me saying, a Royally Useful Engine.
** Who: The Queen
** Source: ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends]]'' (1984-2021)
** Series ultimately got cancelled due to poor toy sales; succeeded by its reboot ''All Engines Go''.

*The different animals of Third Earth, working together for the first time. You know why? You, Lion-O. You gave them something to believe in. Now, there's still one more stone left. Are we gonna find it or what?
**Who: WilyKit
**Source: ''[[ThunderCats (2011 TV series)|ThunderCats]]'' (2011-2012)

*Okay, time page. How about some help with my math homework?
**Who: Anna
**Source: ''[[w:Time Warp Trio|Time Warp Trio]]'' (2005-2006)

*It's really good. And Yoko likes (baby beans) burritos. She likes almond cookies too. Can you put an extra one in my lunch box tomorrow and some lettuce for Norman...
**Who: Juanita
**Source: ''[[Timothy Goes to School]]'' (2000-2001)

*Oh, and send an ambulance, Sarge. An art lover just fainted.
**Who: Dibble
**Source: ''[[Top Cat]]'' (1961-1962)

*Huh? Awesome!
**Who: Sam
**Source: ''[[Totally Spies]]'' (2001-2015)

*You know it, Pipster. Let's flamin-go!
**Who: Freddy
**Source: ''T.O.T.S.'' (2018-2022)

*Hooray for T.U.F.F.!
**Who: Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, Keswick, and Chief Herbert Dumbrowski
**Source: ''[[T.U.F.F. Puppy]]'' (2010-2015)

*One more thing, how about a dance?
**Who: Tut
**Source: ''[[Tutenstein]]'' (2003-2008)

*Suck my balls! (Thanks for watching!)
**Who: Manbird
**Source: ''[[Ugly Americans]]'' (2010-2012)

*Aw, yeah!
**Who: Uncle Grandpa, Mr. Gus, Pizza Steve, Giant Realistic Flying Tiger, Belly Bag and Frankenstein
**Source: ''[[Uncle Grandpa]]'' (2013-2017)

*The Scare B&amp;B will always be a place for everyone, no matter how different you are. Whether you're human, monster, ghost or ghoul. Or someone who's blue with pointy teeth, like me.
**Who: Vampirina &quot;Vee&quot; Hauntley
* We love you, Vee!
**Who: Bridget
**Source: ''[[Vampirina]]'' (2017-2021)

*To Allura!
**Who: Takashi 'Shiro' Shirogane, Keith, Lance, Katie &quot;Pidge&quot; Holt, and Hunk
**Source: ''[[Voltron: Legendary Defender]]'' (2016-2018)
**Notes: The epilogue reveals what happened to the characters of the show after honoring Allura right before the credits start.

*Nothing ever changes.
**Who: Sylvia and Peepers 
*(post-credits:) They'll get what's coming to them.
**Who: Lord Dominator
**Source: ''[[Wander Over Yonder]]'' (2013-2016)

*Oh, Todd.
**Who: Maurecia
**Source: ''[[Wayside (TV series)|Wayside]]'' (2007-2008)

*Monsta X!
**Who: [[wikipedia:Monsta X|Monsta X]]
**Source: ''[[We Bare Bears]]'' (2015-2019)

*Later days!
**Who: Everyone
**Source: ''[[The Weekenders]]'' (2000-2004)

*Oh well, I guess I'll just have to eat it myself. Works every time.
**Who: Gus
**Source: ''[[Willa's Wild Life]]'' (2008-2010)

*Since we’re coming clean, I always knew you were a monkey.
**Who: Violet
**Source: ''[[WordGirl]]'' (2007-2015)

*Schlitweitz!
**Who: David and Lisa
**Source: ''[[The World of David the Gnome]]'' (1987)

*Wait, did we forget to put away the Happy Ha-Ha Bugs?
**Who: Wubbzy
**Source: ''[[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]]'' (2006-2010)

*Here we go! Yo Gabba Gabba...
**Who: DJ Lance
**Source: ''[[Yo Gabba Gabba!]]'' (2007-2015)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

===''Hilda''===
*Odds are...she'd do it again.
**Who: The Wood Man (Season 1)
**Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-present)

*Oh, Hilda. It's beautiful.
**Who: Johanna (Season 2)
**Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-present)

* Woo-hoo...OOF!
**Who: Hilda
**Source: ''Hilda and The Mountain King'' (2021)

===''Amphibia''===
* Hold on for a little longer girls. I'm coming for you and when I find you, we're gonna get home, but first I think we're gonna have some fun with this place.
**Who: Sasha Waybright (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

* No, I'm not.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

* I have a proposition for you Marcy. And I think you'll find it very interesting.
**Who: King Andras (Season 2A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)
**Note: Although &quot;A Day at the Aquarium&quot; is the mid-season finale, the mid-season finale that's a non-canon is &quot;The Shut In&quot; which could either be the season premiere or the mid-season finale. If the next episode was the mid-season finale, then the last line would be &quot;Not a holiday! Definitely not a holiday!&quot; by Anne Boonchuy.

* Home.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 2B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

* I can't imagine spending the holidays without your family. I know how hard it is to be apart and not know if you'll ever see each other again. So, I'm writing to let you know your daughter is alive. She's trapped in another world, but I promise, I'm going to bring her back home safe. Signed, a friend.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)
**Note: Although, it's not technically the last line in Season 3A. The mid-season finale was supposed to be &quot;Escape to Amphibia&quot;. That means Anne's real last line in Season 3A was supposed to be &quot;What happened here?&quot;.

* Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever. Sometimes, you have to let it go. But of the things you let go, you'd be surprised what makes its way back to you.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

===''Bluey''===
*Night, chickenrat!
**Who: Bluey and Bingo Heeler (Series 1)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*He remembered us.
**Who: Bluey Heeler (Series 2)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

===''The Cuphead Show!''===
*Sorry, boys. I like ya, but not enough to tango with the cops. So long, fellas.
**Who: Ms. Chalice (Part 1)
**Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (2022-present)

=== ''Elliott from Earth'' ===
*Oh. Was that meant to happen?
**Who: 105E
**Source: ''[[Elliott from Earth]]'', Diminishing Discourse (2021)

===''The Powerpuff Girls''===
*''MOJO!!!'' You get out of there! You're nothing but a big party-crasher!!!
**Who: Bubbles
*So once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls...and the contaminated banana cream pie. 
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (1998-2005)

*Hoc-guy?
**Who: The Professor
**Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (2016-2019)

===''Cat Burglar''===
* But I...
**Who: Rowdy (Bad Ending)
**Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022)

* What can I say? I'm a non-existential cartoon cat!
**Who: Rowdy (Good Ending)
**Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022)

===''Big City Greens''===
*One step ahead of you.
**Who: Remy Remington (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*Whaaaaa?!
**Who: Remy Remington (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)
**Note: Quote from &quot;Phoenix Rises&quot; which is the actual mid-season finale. But, &quot;Forbidden Feline&quot; is probably the mid-season finale as it counts as a holiday special, despite it being the 37th episode in chronological order. So, the last line could be &quot;Look, I'm sorry I abandoned you earlier, but if you're gonna fancy me up, AT LEAST LET ME PICK THE DRESS!!!!&quot; by Cricket Green. 

*Ugh, fine.
**Who: Cricket Green (Season 1C)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*WHAT HAPPENED?!
**Who: Bill Green (Season 2A)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*And yet, it just...''did.''
**Who: Tilly Green (Season 2B)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*No, it's Gloria ''Plus'' Green. My name isn't -- oh, forget it.
**Who: Gloria Sato (Season 2C)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!!! Ah, forget it. I'll just see myself to my room.
**Who: Cricket Green (Season 3A part 1)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*I just had the craziest idea...
**Who: Bill Green (Season 3A part 2)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

===''The Ghost and Molly McGee''===
* Ooh!
**Who: Molly McGee (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-present)

===''The Owl House''===
* Yes, consume, grow wise, avoid paper cuts.
**Who: Bat Queen (Season 1A)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

* In the meantime, the Day of Unity is upon us. And we have much work to do.
**Who: Emperor Belos (Season 1B)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

* Who dubbed you a parent?
**Who: Eda (Season 2A)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

*Hey, Mom. I'm back.
**Who: Luz Noceda (Season 2B)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

===''Animaniacs''===
*That's why the right man for the job...''[tosses her hair]'' is always a woman. Wink!
** Who: Dot Warner (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-present)

*This time, I wonder if we'll dream.
** Who: Wakko Warner (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-present)

*It actually doesn't stink!
**Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Wakko Warner]]
*(post-credits:) Goodbye, nurse!
**Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Yakko, Wakko, and Dot]]
**Source: ''[[Animaniacs]]'' (1993-1998)

*I am not a refrigerator!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Animaniacs_characters#Pinky and the Brain|The Brain (Brain2-Me2)]]
**Source: ''[[Pinky and the Brain]]'' (1995-1998)

*And the moral of our story is...
**Who: Yakko Warner
**Source: ''[[Wakko's Wish]]'' (1999)

*I'm Underwear Head!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Elmyra Duff|Elmyra Duff]]
*They're Pinky, the Brain, and Underwear Head-head-head-head-head.
**Who: Off-screen vocals
**Source: ''[[Pinky, Elmyra &amp; the Brain]]'' (1998-1999)

===''Gravity Falls''===
*That's good.
**Who: Gideon Gleeful (Season 1A)
*(in-credits) Cross this town off our list.
**Who: Winninghouse Coupon Saver  (Season 1A)

*Here we go.
**Who: Stanley Pines (Season 1B)

*I am so on it, dude.
**Who: Soos Ramirez (Season 2A)

*If you've ever taken a road trip through the pacific northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called &quot;Gravity Falls&quot;. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it, some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there, somewhere in the woods. Waiting.
**Who: Dipper Pines (Season 2B)
**Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012–2016)

===''Elinor Wonders Why''===
*Hello, baby tree!
**Who: Olive Elephant (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-present)

*Yes! We need more observations! Salta, ranita, salta! ''[giggles]''
**Who: Elinor Rabbit (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-present)

===''Star vs. the Forces of Evil''===
*I hope you found all the pieces to the wand.
**Who: Glossaryck (Season 1)

*I'm not a malady.
**Who: Ludo (Season 2A)

*Star! Hey! What do you mean--? ''[gasps]'' Star...?
**Who: Marco Diaz (Season 2B)

*My name is Metora.
**Who: Metora Butterfly (Season 3A)

*Hello, my love. We're home.
**Who: Eclipsa (Season 3B)

*Okay, you know, I will be waiting by the elevator.
**Who: Marco Diaz (Season 4A)

*Hi.
**Who: Star Butterfly (Season 4B)
**Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

===''Ben 10''===
*And for Ben Tennyson, who didn't want the summer to end, he would come to realize that going back to school was merely another beginning.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2005 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2005-2008)
**Notes: The final episode of the original series, ''Goodbye and Good Riddance'', was retconned as non-canon in the sequel series.

*If he ever does, it's hero time!
**Who: Ben Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Alien Force]]'' (2008-2010)

*Two is plenty.
**Who: Doyle Blackwell
**Source: ''[[The Secret Saturdays]]'' (2008-2010)

*Perhaps for your eighteenth birthday.
**Who: Azmuth
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien]]'' (2010-2012)

*Gwen? Okay, fine, Gwen''dolyn'', you and Kevin pack your bags, we're going on a road trip!
**Who: Ben Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Omniverse]]'' (2012-2014)

*You know what that means, kiddos? Team Tennyson is back in business!
**Who: Grandpa Max Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2017 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2017-2021)

===''The Berenstain Bears''===
*What about my kumquats? Oh, I love those kumquats.
**Who: Weasel McGreed
**Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (1985-1987)

*Anytime. Your tool belt will be right here waiting.
**Who: Papa Q. Bear
**Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (2003-2004)

===''Cow and Chicken''===
*Yeah! hold it, It was brilliant! Bravo! Get up, my little crab friends. Ow! oh, oh. Ow! oh, oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Easy with the pinchers. Ow! ow! oh. I did not have to bring you guys tonight! Looks like Red Guy always gets in the END! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
**Who: Red Guy
**Source: ''[[Cow and Chicken]]'' (1997-1999)

*It was Baboon all along and not me that everyone was watching. I am not a legend, I am a tool. Well, I guess it's dummies won, smart guys zero.
**Who: I.M Weasel
**Source: ''[[I Am Weasel]]'' (1997-2000)

===DC animated universe===
*It's okay, there'll be another time.
**Who: Batgirl
**Source: ''[[Batman: The Animated Series]]'' (1992-1995)

*One person at a time.
**Who: Lois Lane
**Source: ''[[Superman: The Animated Series]]'' (1996-2000)

*Guilty... guilty... guilty...
**Who: Two-Face
**Source: ''[[The New Batman Adventures]]'' (1997-1999)

*I'm coming.
**Who: Miguel Diaz 
**Source: ''[[Batman Beyond]]'' (1999-2001)

*Yeah, they can't get rid of ''us'' that easily.
**Who: Static
**Source: ''[[Static Shock]]'' (2000-2004)

*Don't worry, Zee, we'll find a way.
**Who: Ro Rowan 
**Source: ''[[The Zeta Project]]'' (2001-2002)

*I love you, too.
**Who: [[Green Lantern]] John Stewart
**Source: ''[[Justice League]]'' (2001-2004)

*And the adventure continues.
**Who: Wonder Woman
**Source: ''[[Justice League|Justice League Unlimited]]'' (2004-2006)

===DIC ''Mario'' Cartoons===
*Y'know, dearie, I've enjoyed your visit, but do me one favor: Next time, let me come and visit you!
**Who: Grandma Toadstool
**Source: ''[[The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!]]'' (1989)

*Yeah, but we couldn't have done it without our Toad!
**Who: Mario
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3]]'' (1990)

*Good night. Mama Luigi.
**Who: Yoshi
**Source: ''[[Super Mario World (TV series)|Super Mario World]]'' (1991)

===''Digimon''===
*Our adventure in the Digital World might be over for now, but that gate won't stay closed forever. I have a feeling that this won't be the last time we see our pals, the Digimon! You wait and see. One day, that portal will open up again and we'll return to the Digital World! I wonder if Agumon will remember me? I know I'll never forget him, or the rest of the Digimon! None of us will!
**Who: Tai Kamiya
**Source: ''Digimon Adventure'' (1999-2000)

*So, you can see we're still having adventures. They're just a little different from the ones we used to have when we were kids. The darkness has not been conquered, and it will continue to fight against the light forever, but as long as people remember to follow their dreams, evil will be kept at bay. And on days like today, it's hard to see any darkness anywhere. Now it's up to our children, and to children everywhere, to follow their dreams. Who knows where they'll end up, but the only way to find out is to take that first step into adventure.
**Who: T.K. Takashi
**Source: ''Digimon Adventure 02'' (2000-2001)

*Even though I thought I would never be the same, the world soon went back to normal and after a while so did I. Life became exactly as it was before I met Guilmon. Kazu still made bad jokes and Miss Nami still gave too much homework. Sometimes I go by our old hangouts just to see if he's there. Don't know why I bother, 'cause he's never there. Most times I'm OK but there's this one thing that bugs me: a promise I made to a friend—a promise I don't think I can keep.
**Who: Takato Matsuki
**Source: ''Digimon Tamers'' (2001-2002)

*But even if I spent time with my family— or other friends or with our family or just hanging around not crying I'll be best friends with you guys forever!
**Who: The Digidestined
**Source: ''Digimon Frontier'' (2002-2003)

===''Dora the Explorer''===
*Gracias.
**Who: Dora Márquez
**Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*Adios, amigos! See you soon!
**Who: Dora Márquez, Emma, Kate, Naiya, and Alana 
**Source: ''[[Dora and Friends: Into the City!]]'' (2014-2016)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*See you soon.
**Who: Alicia Márquez
**Source: ''[[Go, Diego, Go!]]'' (2005-2011)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

===''Dragon Ball''===
*For the continued adventures of Goku and his friends, be sure to watch Dragon Ball Z!
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball'' (1986-1989)

*Young Uub has been taken in by the greatest warrior on the planet--Goku, the orphan who fell from the stars to become the savior of mankind. One thing is certain: as long as Goku lives, peace AND prosperity will reign.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Z'' (1989-1996)

*Til we meet again, guys!
**Who: Goku
**Source: ''Dragon Ball GT'' (1996-1997)

*Goku, please come home.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Z Kai'' (2010-2018)

*See you all again!
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Super'' (2017-2019)

===''DuckTales''===
*Me wallet! Stop that thief! Don't let that sneak get away! Dijon!
**Who: Scrooge McDuck
**Source: ''[[DuckTales (1987 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (1987-1990)

*Plenty more adventures where that came from, eh, lad? Now, where in blazes is that cocoa stand? I am freezing!
**Who: Scrooge McDuck (Season 1A)

*Boys?!
**Who: Della Duck (Season 1B)

*I'm home.
**Who: Della Duck (Season 2A)

*This has gone too far. The ducks almost cost us a world today. And, without the world, who would we larceny against? The pieces are finally in piece. Time to come out of the shadows, take control, and end Clan Mcduck. If the Mcduck family wants an adventure, we'll give them their last.
**Who: Chairman Bradford Buzzard/FOWL Agent (Season 2B)

*Woo-hoo!
**Who: Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby (Season 3A)

*Alright. That was close, Launchpad. Phew, almost ruined the tender family moment.
**Who: Launchpad McQuack (Season 3B)
**Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021)

===''Fancy Nancy''===
*We here at the School De Fancy now sees that everyone has their own way of being fancy. And as long as it makes you happy...we think it's magnifique!
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 1)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

*It sure feels magnifique to be home!
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 2)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

*It's…magic. And the only thing more magical than Paris is famille. That's French for family.
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 3)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

===''The Proud Family''===
*Come on, Puff!
**Who: Suga Mama (Season 1)
**Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-present)

===''Infinity Train''===
*I'm ready for anything.
**Who: Tulip Olsen (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

*I wanted to be cool one time, just once. Nerd.
**Who: Jesse Cosay (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

*Guess we'll have to figure it out.
**Who: Grace Monroe (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

*We're...
*We're working on it.
**Who: Min-Gi Park and Ryan Akagi (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

===''Inspector Gadget''===
*I'll get you next time, Gadget! Just you wait!
**Who: Dr. Claw
**Source: ''[[Inspector Gadget]]'' (1982-1986)

===''The Lion King''===
*Oy.
**Who: [[w:Timon and Pumbaa|Timon]]
**Source: ''[[Timon &amp; Pumbaa (TV series)|Timon &amp; Pumbaa]]'' (1995-1999)

===''The Loud House''===
*Dang it!
**Who: Loud family (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*Looks like we're getting the hang of not being so overprotective, huh, Howie? Howie? I'll get the smelling salts.
**Who: Harold McBride (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*Ooh, I got one: hamburgers.
**Who: Leni Loud (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*It's just till the end of the summer.
**Who: Lori Loud (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*You got it! All right, everybody. Back to class, or it's a week's detention!
**Who: Rusty Spokes (Season 5)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*Ronnie Anne! That's my line!
**Who: Carlino Casagrande (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019-present)

*Thank you, Mr. President.
**Who: Ronnie Anne Santiago (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019-present)

===''Madagascar''===
*Even the problem, not our jurisdiction.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Skipper|Skipper]]
**Source: ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (2008-2015)

*Where are we?
**Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Alex|Alex]]
**Source: ''[[All Hail King Julien]]'' (2014-2017)

===''Marvel Animation Universe''===
*I made the show. Hulk Out. Bam, I said it. Hulk Out.
**Who: A-Bomb
**Source: ''[[Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.]]'' (2013-2015)

*So, I guess this is it. But there's no need to get all sappy. I thought once I became the Ultimate Spider-Man, that would mean my work was done. But far from it. This isn't the end, this is only the beginning.
**Who: Spider-Man
**Source: ''[[Ultimate Spider-Man (TV series)|Ultimate Spider-Man]]'' (2012–2017)

===''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic''===
*In fact, it’s made it...
*...the best night ever!
**Who: Mane Six and Spike (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Oh, yeah? Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party!
**Who: Spike (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Yes! Everything's gonna be just fine!
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Yes, well, I suppose not.
**Who: Discord (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Wonder what she's dreaming about now.
**Who: Spike (Season 5A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Starting is easy. All you have to do is make a friend; and you've got ''seven'' of them right here.
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 5B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Friendship lessons can happen...anywhere.
**Who: Starlight Glimmer (Season 6A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Somepony is really gonna have to catch us up on what we missed.
**Who: Rainbow Dash (Season 6B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Seriously, this is heavy.
**Who: Pinkie Pie (Season 7A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*It's funny. I thought meeting my idol would give me all the answers I ever wanted. But instead, I forgot what I already knew. Good thing I had a student of my own to remind me.
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 7B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Gotcha! Maybe I'm not such a bad actress after all.
**Who: Princess Celestia (Season 8A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Hey, neighbor. Wanna be friends?
**Who: Cozy Glow (Season 8B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Nicely done.
**Who: Princess Celestia (Season 9A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*That's all right, because I know exactly where to send you.
**Who: Future Twilight Sparkle (Season 9B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

===''Green Eggs and Ham''===
*That's why we should get going!
**Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 1)
**Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019-2022)

*Yes! She likes them! Oh, this is good news!
**Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 2)
**Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019-2022)

===''Rugrats''===
*Happy Birthday, Kimi!
**Who: Chuckie Finster
**Source: ''[[Rugrats]]'' (1991-2004)

*&quot;Gotcha&quot;!?
**Who: Tommy Pickles
**Source: ''[[All Grown Up!]]'' (2003-2008)

*Well look, class! Our friend Mr. Sun has come to say hello! Isn't it wonderful? And we're all back to our happy happy happy selves!
**Who: Miss Weemer
**Source: ''[[Rugrats Pre-School Daze]]'' (2008)

===''Steven Universe''===
*Yes, please!
**Who: Pearl
**Source: ''[[Steven Universe]]'' (2013-2019)

*Bye!
**Who: Pearl
**Source: ''[[Steven Universe Future]]'' (2019-2020)

===''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles''===
*Except Donatello's cooking.
**Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (1987-1996)

*Yeah! Ha-ha-ha!
**Who: [[w:Michelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Michelangelo]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2003-2009)

*We are home.
**Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2012-2017)

*Wait, what?
**Who: [[w:Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Leonardo]]
**Source: ''[[Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2018-2020)

===''Tiny Toon Adventures''===
*Season's Greetings!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Gogo Dodo|Gogo Dodo]]
**Source: ''[[Tiny Toon Adventures]]'' (1990-1992)

*Parting is such sweet sorrow.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Plucky Duck|Plucky Duck]]
**Source: ''[[The Plucky Duck Show]]'' (1992)

===''Total Drama''===
*At least things can only go up from here. [sighs] Of course.
**Who: Dave
**Source: ''[[Total Drama]]'' (2007-2014)

* Yes. Throw all your money on the ground. Very smart. That's all for now, we hope we enjoyed our incredible race around the world. Be sure to keep an eye out for more of ''The Ridonculous Race''.
**Who: Don
**Source: ''[[Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race]]'' (2015)

===''Transformers''===
*We shall see, Galvatron. We shall see.
**Who: Zarak
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Generation 1|The Transformers]]'' (1984-1987)

*Waspinator happy at last.
**Who: Waspinator
**Source: ''[[Beast Wars|Beast Wars: Transformers]]'' (1996-1999)

*He's with us, Rattrap. As long as Cybertron is alive, Optimus lives on. In our hearts and our memories. As well Megatron had also played a grand role in the vital scheme. The vision from the Oracle has come to pass. Optimus has finally achieved his mission.
**Who: Cheetor
**Source: ''[[Beast Machines|Beast Machines: Transformers]]'' (1999-2000)

*''Who's the smartest shark around?/Who's the coolest shark in town?/Sky-Byte, that's me!'' Ha!
**Who: Sky-Byte
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2001)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2001-2002)

*The war between the Autobots and the Decepticons has come to an end, and without the hatred between the two sides, there was no evil to feed Unicron, and he became powerless. Both Unicron and Megatron scattered into the far reaches of the universe. As for me, my purpose has been served. Cybertron is safe and Transformers live in peace with the Mini-Cons. So the next time you look out into space and see a peaceful star far, far away, it just might be Cybertron. TRANSFORM!
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Armada]]'' (2002-2003)

*Check it out, Ironhide. That's our future out there.
**Who: Kicker Jones
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Energon]]'' (2004-2005)

*Fire up the engines to full throttle! We have a course set to the far reaches of the universe, and it's time to go! Courage, hope for the future, and teamwork—our adventure will continue as long as we remember the words of Primus: 'Til all are one! TRANSFORM!!!
**Who: Optimus Prime and everybody
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Cybertron]]'' (2005-2006)

*That would be the easy way out, Megatron. You don't deserve it.
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers Animated]]'' (2007-2009)

*Until we meet again, old friend.
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Prime]]'' (2010-2013)

*I want to get a picture of my heroes.
**Who: Chief Charlie Burns
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Rescue Bots]]'' (2011-2016)

*Saved by the howl. Autobots, let's rev up and roll out.
**Who: Bumblebee
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2015-2017)

===''Unikitty!''===

*Nice job, Bat-team.
**Who: Unikitty (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

*Happens to the festival, Amigo.
**Who: Dunklecorn (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

*Nice.
**Who: One of the Two Astronauts (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

===''[[Winx Club]]''===
*Listen. Whatever it is you choose to do, I want you to know that you're not alone.
**Who: Sky (Cinélume, Season 1)
*To next year!
**Who: Alfea students (4Kids, Season 1)

*Mirta!
**Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 2)
*Wait for us!
**Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 2)

*Yes, I think I'm ready. Mom, dad, I feel like were going to meet very, very soon.
**Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 3)
*I think I'm ready. Mom, Dad, I feel like we're going to meet really soon.
**Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 3)
*I ''am'' ready. Mom, Dad, I have a feeling we're going to meet very, very soon.
**Who: Bloom (Atlas Oceanic, Season 3)

*Your journey on the path of magic also passes through Gardenia. Now off you go, you're on in a minute!
**Who: Faragonda (Cinélume, Season 4)
*A fairy's magical journey includes all her dreams and passions. Now off you go, show me what you've got, girls!
**Who: Faragonda (Atlas Oceanic, Season 4)

*Best little sister in the known universe!
**Who: Daphne (Season 5)

*Thanks, cuz.
**Who: Thoren (Season 6)

*Even the smallest creature can play a key role in the destiny of all the worlds.
**Who: Bloom (Season 7)

*Winx forever!
**Who: Stella (Season 8)

*There is not enough room for fairies and witches on Earth!
**Who: Venomya/Baba Yaga
**Source: ''[[World of Winx]]'' (2016-2017)
**Note: Ended after two seasons with no resolution due to the crew returning to the original show.

==See also==
* [[First lines in animated TV shows]]

[[Category:Last lines|Animated]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows|*]]</text>
      <sha1>fxqh0gwgk2j66aeoetu533hqkcx53ki</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149258</id>
      <parentid>3149257</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T03:26:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:601:8400:EB70:0:0:0:A1AB</ip>
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      <comment>/* Bluey */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="53392" xml:space="preserve">==Animated TV shows==
* You're coming with me, punk!
**Who: Ron the Rent-a-Cop
**Source: ''[[6teen]]'' (2004-2010)

*Oh yeah!
**Who: Shermy
**Source: ''[[Adventure Time]]'' (2010-2018)

*Being Choose Goose is no lark... especially now that I'm turning dark.
**Who: Choose Goose
**Source: ''[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]'' (2020-2021)

*That's right, be afraid! Be very afraid! And tell all your cold-blooded friends there's plenty more where that came from!
**Who: Baby Eddie
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2002-2006)

*Oh no. It's started.
**Who: Rob
**Source: ''[[The Amazing World of Gumball]]'' (2011-2019)

*Trust me. There's something magical about you too.
**Who: Jake Long
**Source: ''[[American Dragon: Jake Long]]'' (2005-2007)
**Notes: The closing credits to this episode views clips from the show's previous episodes.

* I am... I... I think as we are very tired, we should go down to the pond for a drink. Then we'll go back to our nests and burrows and sleep. We can explore our big new park tomorrow. And then we will plan how to live together in perfect peace and harmony. In the true spirits of Farthing Wood.
**Who: Plucky
**Source: ''[[The Animals of Farthing Wood (TV series)|The Animals of Farthing Wood]]'' (1993-1995)

*Mechana can we do it?
*We Animal Mechanical can!
**Who: Animal Mechanicals
**Source: ''[[Animal Mechanicals]]'' (2007-2011)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*We still got a few seconds left. Let's do a joke. Let's do like, a joke or something.
**Who: Meatwad
**Source: ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' (2000-2015)

*&quot;Chapter one: how I got my very first pair of glasses…&quot;
**Who: Adult Arthur
**Source: ''[[Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]'' (1996-2022)

*Well, I think you all look ''perfect''.
**Who: Toph Beifong
** Source: ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'' (2005-2008)

*You wanted to know how history will remember the Avengers, Iron Man? Well, here's your answer.
**Who: Captain America
**Source: ''[[The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes]]'' (2010-2013)

*Where shall I begin?
**Who: [[w:Babar the Elephant|King Babar]]
**Source: ''[[Babar (TV series)|Babar]]'' (1989-2000)

*Fine, but don't blame me if dinner is late! I'd like to see you cook a meal in your arms where your legs should be! Maybe I'll go on the Goraldo Show, he'll believe me about the aliens! I can't find my tush!
**Who: Nora Beady
**Source: ''[[Back at the Barnyard]]'' (2007-2011)

*Mini-muffin?
**Who: Tasha and Austin
**Source: ''[[The Backyardigans]]'' (2004-2010)

*Nice try.
**Who: Batman
**Source: ''[[The Batman]]'' (2004-2008)

*A great run. And until we meet again boys and girls, know that wherever evil lurks in all its myriad forms, I'll be there with the hammers of justice to fight for decency, and defend the innocent. Goodnight.
**Who: Batman
**Source: ''[[Batman: The Brave and the Bold]]'' (2008-2011)

*I love you too, son. This message will self-destruct in 3...2...1...
**Who: [[w:Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)|Fred Jones]] (reading a letter from his father)
**Source: ''[[Be Cool, Scooby-Doo!]]'' (2015-2018)

*P2, going down.
**Who: Elevator Announcer
**Source: ''[[Beavis and Butt-head]]'' (1993-97; 2011)

*Bravo, Batman. Checkmate. Shall we play again?
**Who: Anarky
**Source: ''[[Beware the Batman]]'' (2013-2014)

*Ba-a-la-la-la-la.
**Who: Baymax
**Source: ''[[Big Hero 6: The Series]]'' (2017-2021)

*Welcome to Taco Shack. May I take your order?
**Who: Taco Shack Employee
**Source: ''[[Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer]]'' (2017)
**Note: Cancelled after one season due to poor ratings.

*Riley, run!
**Who: Huey Freeman
**Source: ''[[The Boondocks]]'' (2005-2014)

*Yeah. This is nice.
**Who: BoJack Horseman
**Source: ''[[BoJack Horseman]]'' (2014-2020)

*Never mind, I can't wait.
**Who: Brandy Harrington
**Source: ''[[Brandy &amp; Mr. Whiskers]]'' (2004-2006)

*Yup, yup! Let us swim to freedom!
**Who: Buhdeuce
**Source: ''[[Breadwinners]]'' (2014-2016)

*I'm stuck in a tree!
**Who: Bunsen
**Source: ''[[Bunsen Is a Beast]]'' (2017-2018)
**Note: Series cancelled after one season due to declining ratings and Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon.

*Okay, Who's up for cupcake?
**Who: Pupert Pesky
**Source: ''[[The Buzz on Maggie]]'' (2005-2006)

*Sometimes change is good. Having a new teacher turned out to be a lot of fun.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Caillou]]'' (1997-2010)

*Please tell me we go home alone with her?
**Who: McGee
**Source: ''[[Camp Lakebottom]]'' (2013-2017)

*Okay. I think it's just officially got to the point where it can't get any weirder.
**Who: Samson
*(in-credits:) Uh, yeah... okay. 
**Who: Stanley
**Source: ''[[Camp Lazlo]]'' (2005-2008)

*Yeah! Woo-hoo!
**Who: Nick and Sally
**Source: ''The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That!'' (2011-2018)

*Stop it, Zouzou. You're suppose to be a watch dog, not a kiss dog! ''[laughs]''
**Who: Charley
**Source: ''[[Charley and Mimmo]]'' (1999-2002)

*I have saved a fucking gorilla today, I also talked a very special idiot out of willing himself dead, and now, just because I'm too hairy in some places and too bald in other places, you can't find it in your putrid little heart to want to get to know me sexually? [Laughs sarcastically] What's wrong with me? What is wrong with you? I am magical!
**Who: Frank
**Source: ''[[China, IL]]'' (2011-2015)

*Babies, no! Put Scraps down!
**Who: Adult Chowder
*(post-credits:) Oh, radda.
**Who: Shnitzel
**Source: ''[[Chowder (TV series)|Chowder]]'' (2007-2010)

*Yes!
**Who: Clarence Wendle
**Source: ''[[Clarence (American TV series)|Clarence]]'' (2014-2018)

*Enjoy the moment, Jay. For the future is no longer foretold.
**Who: Cronus
**Source: ''[[Class of the Titans]]'' (2005-2008)

*What?! This is your fault!
**Who: Lil' D
**Source: ''[[Class of 3000]]'' (2006-2008)

*We are dumb.
**Who: Donna Tubbs-Brown
**Source: ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' (2009-2013)
**Note: Ended after four seasons due to declining ratings.

*Hello? Yeah. We told him everything he wanted to hear. We'll meet you in the moonbase, okay? Oh! And Numbuh 1... Welcome back.
**Who: Adult Abigail Lincoln (Numbuh 5)
*(post-credits:) Stay young.
**Who: None
**Source: ''[[Codename: Kids Next Door]]'' (2002-2008)
**Notes: The final credits roll with a short montage of every episode from beginning to finish, ending with a picture of Sector V looking at the sunset outside the treehouse with the actual final lines read above them, &quot;Stay Young&quot;.

*What more could a bear ask for?
**Who: [[w:Corduroy (book)|Corduroy]]
**Source: ''[[Corduroy (TV series)|Corduroy]]'' (2000-2001)

*Perfect!
**Who: The Perfectionist (offscreen)
**Source: ''[[Courage the Cowardly Dog]]'' (1996-2002)

*That's right, Cubix. We're friends. Friends forever.
**Who: Connor
**Source: ''[[Cubix: Robots for Everyone]]'' (2001-2003)

*Thanks, Dan.
**Who: Little Chris
**Source: ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' (2011-2013)

*Cool statue. Personally, I would've used recycled materials, but, you know, that's just me.
**Who: Sam Manson
**Source: ''[[Danny Phantom]]'' (2004-2007)

*I take it back.
**Who: Jane
**Source: ''[[Daria]]'' (1997-2002)

*Come on, Eep. The moon's looking at me funny again. We need to go smash his face!
**Who: Grug Crood
**Source: ''[[Dawn of the Croods]]'' (2015-2017)

*I can do anything with my best friends on my side.
**Who: Dottie &quot;Doc&quot; McStuffins
**Source: ''[[Doc McStuffins]]'' (2012-2020)

*Oh yeah. Hehehe. Anybody wanna dance?
**Who: Donkey Kong
**Source: ''[[Donkey Kong Country]]'' (1998-2000)

*It's a perfect name!
**Who: Enrique
**Source: ''[[Dragon Tales]]'' (1999-2005)

*Hey, assholes, thanks for watching!
**Who: [[w:List of Drawn Together characters#Toot Braunstein|Toot Braunstein]]
**Source: ''[[Drawn Together]]'' (2004-2007)

*First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth!
**Who: Lee
*(post-credits:) It's the end of the movie? What movie?
**Who: Jonny
**Source: ''[[Ed Edd n Eddy]]'' (1999-2009)

*Familia forever!
**Who: El Tigre
**Source: ''[[El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera]]'' (2007-2008)

*I am.
**Who: Elena
**Source: ''[[Elena of Avalor]]'' (2016-2020)

*Remember, friends help friends solve problems. See you next time! 
**Who: [[w:Elliot Moose|Elliot Moose]]
**Source: ''[[Elliot Moose (TV series)|Elliot Moose]]'' (1998-2000)

*Hmm. Maybe being emperor won't be so bad after all.
**Who: Kuzco
*(post-credits:) KUZCO!!
**Who: Yzma
**Source: ''[[The Emperor's New School]]'' (2006-2008)

*Happy Friendaversary!
**Who: [[w:Timmy Tiberius Turner|Timmy Turner]] and Chloe Carmichael
**Source: ''[[The Fairly OddParents|The Fairly OddParents!]]'' (2001-2017)
**Note: Ended after ten seasons due to Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon and due to declining ratings.

*Oh.
**Who: Ruff Ruffman
*I love you guys!
**Who: Emmie Atwood
**Source: ''[[Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman]]'' (2006-2010)

*I'm king of the world! King of the world!
**Who: Milo Fishtooth
**Source: ''[[Fish Hooks]]'' (2010-2014)

*Okay, bye doggies!
**Who: Cheese
**Source: ''[[Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends]]'' (2004-2009)

*Come on, Franklin.
**Who: Beaver
**Source: ''[[Franklin (TV series)|Franklin]]'' (1997-2004)

*You're an evil man!
**Who: Norm Abram
**Source: ''[[Freakazoid!]]'' (1995-1997)

*What a great day!
**Who: Kiki
**Source: ''[[Fresh Beat Band of Spies]]'' (2014-2016)

*I do.
**Who: Leela
**Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (2008-2013)

*Welcome home, Goliath. Welcome home.
**Who: Elisa Maza
**Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)|Gargoyles]]'' (1994–1996)

*One thousand years ago, we lived in a world that understood our purpose. It was the age of Gargoyles. Ten centuries later, we awoke to a world bent on our destruction. Somehow, we never lost hope, and today we come full circle. A new age has begun, and we live again.
**Who: Goliath
**Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)#Season 3 (The Goliath Chronicles) -- (Non-Cannon)|Gargoyles: The Goliath Chronicles]]'' (1996–1997)

*Yes, there is.
**Who: Agent Six
**Source: ''[[Generator Rex]]'' (2010-2013)

*Knowing Razer, I'd say he's got a pretty good shot.
**Who: Hal Jordan
**Source: ''[[Green Lantern: The Animated Series]]'' (2011-2013)

*Thanks for coming out, everyone!
**Who: Cory Riffin, Kin Kujira, Kon Kujira, and Laney Penn
**Source: ''[[Grojband]]'' (2013-2015)

*Yeah. You found each other. When a friend comes into your life, it changes you a little. They challenge you. They make you laugh. They make you stronger. Each person gives you a gift. A special part of them that you keep forever. It's like they're always with you.
**Who: Irving Beaks
**Source: ''[[Harvey Beaks]]'' (2015-2017)

*He's never gonna hear the end of it.
**Who: Rhonda
**Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!]]'' (1996-2004)

*Sorry, I didn't mean-- I'd take it back! Mmm, charred marshmallow flesh. Whoa! N-n-no! I didn't say that. No, it wasn't me. That wasn't someone, who else? Get off this ship, you're not welcome.
**Who: Nerville
**Source: ''[[The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange]]'' (2012-2014)

*Oh, she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. This is the life...or more less.
**Who: Kaz Harada
**Source: ''[[Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi]]'' (2004-2006)

*That's a wrap!
**Who: Father Time
**Source: ''[[Histeria!]]'' (1998-2000)

*I feels very at home.
**Who: Oh
**Source: ''[[Home: Adventures with Tip &amp; Oh]]'' (2016-2018)

*I could go for tapas…
**Who: Brendan
**Source: ''[[Home Movies (TV series)|Home Movies]]'' (1999-2004)

*Oh, Mickey!
**Who: Minnie Mouse
**Source: ''[[w:House of Mouse|House of Mouse]]'' (2001-2003)

*I love you too, Bertie!
**Who: Arlo Beauregard
**Source: ''I Heart Arlo'' (2021)

*Get out of the house of Zim! This is my house, get out! Get-
**Who: Zim
**Source: ''[[Invader Zim]]'' (2001-2006)

*Why not?! You weren't using it! You're always﻿ too busy fighting wizards!
**Who: Drago
**Source: ''[[Jackie Chan Adventures]]'' (2000-2005)

*That was brilliant! Thank ye, mates! See you next time!
**Who: John Darling
**Source: ''[[Jake and the Never Land Pirates]]'' (2011-2016)

*You're wrong Mr. Teacherman, this is Porkbelly. Where we make our own history.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Johnny_Test_characters#Johnny Test|Johnny Test]]
**Source: ''[[Johnny Test]]'' (2005-2014)

*You bet, pal!
**Who: Kick Buttowski
**Source: ''[[Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil]]'' (2010-2012)
**Note: Cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings.

*I told you graduation wasn't the end of the world.
**Who: Kim Possible
*(post-credits) Glad you asked! Funny story - not funny &quot;ha-ha&quot;. But, it was a Tuesday...
**Who: Dr. Drakken
**Source: ''[[Kim Possible]]'' (2002-2007)

*Yup!
**Who: Hank Hill
**Source: ''[[King of the Hill]]'' (1997-2010)

*Duck!
**Who: Arnold
**Source: ''[[Kipper (TV series)|Kipper]]'' (1997-2000)

*Hey everybody, Let's hear it for the Dragon Warrior! Huzzah, huzzah...
**Who: Lu Kang and the citizens
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness]]'' (2011-2016)

*There you go!
**Who: Littlefoot
**Source: ''[[The Land Before Time (TV series)|The Land Before Time]]'' (2007-2008)

*Sounds perfect.
**Who: Korra
**Source: ''[[The Legend of Korra]]'' (2012-2014)

*Now is a time of celebration. We have won a great victory. But when the glow has faded, we must remember the cost, and we must be forever vigilant. The message of hate that Mordred carried will come again with a different name, a different face. But as long as we keep the ideals of Camelot alive in our hearts, we will prevail. Long live honor, and justice. Long live goodness, and truth. Long live... Camelot!
**Who: King Arthur
**Source: ''[[The Legend of Prince Valiant]]'' (1991-1993)

*Evil does not die. It evolves.
**Who: Brainiac 6
**Source: ''[[Legion of Super Heroes]]'' (2006-2008)

*I love you too, Stitch.
**Who: Lilo Pelekai
**Source: ''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch: The Series]]'' (2003-2006)

*Little Bill, who are you talking to?
**Who: Brenda Glover
**Source: ''[[Little Bill]]'' (1999-2004)

*I can't believe they canceled our show and put this on instead.
**Who: Lulu Moppet
**Source: ''[[The Little Lulu Show]]'' (1995-1999)

*Someday, kiddo. Someday.
**Who: Roger Baxter
**Source: ''[[Littlest Pet Shop (2012 TV series)|Littlest Pet Shop]]'' (2012-2016)
**Note: Cancelled due to poor toy sales. Succeeded by the reboot ''A World Of Our Own''.

*And who you all think should be the most valuable player?
**Who: Floyd Minton
*''[cheering]'' PETUNIA!!!
**Who: Baby Bugs, Baby Lola, Baby Taz, Baby Daffy, Baby Melissa, Baby Tweety, and Baby Sylvester
*Yay!!!
**Who: Baby Tweety
**Source: ''Baby Looney Tunes'' (2001-2005)
**Note: Canceled due to poor ratings and negative reviews. It was succeeded by ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' in 2011.

*Ain't I a stinker?
**Who: Bugs Bunny as Batman
*And that's the end.
**Who: [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] (Post-credits)
**Source: ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' (2011-2014)

*I just call &quot;dibs&quot; on his fish flakes.
**Who: A fish
**Source: ''[[Mad (TV series)|MAD]]'' (2010-2013)

*Hooray for Maggie!
**Who: Beast, Hamilton Hocks, Rudy, Nedley, and the Jellybean Team
**Source: ''[[Maggie and the Ferocious Beast]]'' (2000-2002)

*Yut is pleased by attention!
**Who: Mister Yut 
**Source: ''Littlest Pet Shop: A World of Our Own'' (2018-19)
**Note: Cancelled after one season.

*Leave me alone, or I will call my fiend back!
**Who: Vendetta
**Source: ''[[Making Fiends (TV series)|Making Fiends]]'' (2008)

*I'm the luckiest one here. I have two families! Now about that turkey...
**Who: Martha
**Source: ''[[Martha Speaks (TV series)|Martha Speaks]]'' (2008-2014)

*The president cut the strings shorter. Only one foot long! Much safer for everyone.
**Who: Peg
*Definitely! 
**Who: Cat
**Source: ''Peg + Cat'' (2014-2018)

*I guess we will, baby. I guess we will.
**Who: Bubbie
**Source: ''[[The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack]]'' (2008-2010)

*So even though things didn't go exactly like they were supposed to, that matinee turned out to be one of our best shows ever. Now that's teamwork. What can I say, Mom and Dad? We're a real class act. 
**Who: Eddy Largo
**Source: ''[[Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse]]'' (2000-2002)

*Max! You and your gumball spitting spider gave us what we wanted. A big...
**Who: Ruby
*Finish!
**Who: Max
**Source: ''[[Max &amp; Ruby]]'' (2003-2019)

*It's a funny thing about making a commitment. Even though sometimes you don't want to follow through. Once you do, you're glad you did.
**Who: Maya Santos
**Source: ''[[Maya &amp; Miguel]]'' (2004-2007)

*Now, let's see what kind of new stuff the evil me put in Megas. Woo! Yeah, Wah-hoo! Yeah! Wa, ha, ha!
**Who: Harold &quot;Coop&quot; Cooplowski
**Source: ''[[Megas XLR]]'' (2004-2005)

*I believe that you would, Slick. Now how about a hand?
**Who: Agent K
**Source: ''[[Men in Black: The Series]]'' (1997-2001)

*See you real soon!
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Note: Catchphrase that ends every episode of Season 1.
*Aw, thanks for stopping by!
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Note: Catchphrase that ends almost every episode of Seasons 2-4.
*Good night, everybody.
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse Clubhouse]]'' (2006-2016)
**Note: Official last line of the series, because the series got cancelled after four seasons due to poor ratings. It was succeeded by ''Mickey and the Roadster Racers''.

*Oh, Haps! I don't know if you can see from your side, but I just skywrote 'Bessie and Happy BFFAEAE' and it looks really great!
**Who: Bessie Higgenbottom
**Source: ''[[The Mighty B!]]'' (2008-2011)

*Don't worry about it.
**Who: Witchy Simone
**Source: ''[[Mighty Magiswords]]'' (2016-2019)

*I think we're gonna need a new ship.
**Who: Milo Murphy
**Source: ''[[Milo Murphy's Law]]'' (2016-2019)
**Note: Either on hiatus or cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings. 

*Weddings, Priya. They do something to you.
**Who: Mira
**Source: ''Mira, Royal Detective'' (2020-2022)

*Y'see? Sometimes one small Mixel is all it takes. Yup, Mixopolis is my town. And always will be.
**Who: Booger
**Source: ''[[Mixels]]'' (2014-2016)

*Okay, going for the triple bonus.
**Who: President Hathaway
**Source: ''[[w:Monsters vs. Aliens (TV series)|Monsters vs. Aliens]]'' (2013-2014)

*Today's Christmas sermon is about family. What is family? Well, a lot of times, family is just a bunch of people who are forced to be together just because they came out of each other — but every so often...a miracle happens. A loving family, just like that, out of nowhere. Now, what causes this — a belief in God, a strong moral structure, blind luck? Who knows, who cares? Ah, you're not gonna get any answers out of me. I'm just a puppet for the Big Guy. I don't write this stuff. The end — I mean, Amen. Nah, who am I kidding? The End.
**Who: Reverend &quot;Rod&quot; Putty
**Source: ''[[Moral Orel]]'' (2005-2008)

*Oh, freak me out! This is craziness! (US version)
*Leave me alone, you ticklish pest! (UK version)
**Who: Mr. Bump
**Source: ''[[The Mr. Men Show]]'' (2008-2009)

*See you later, friends. And thanks for all the laughs.
**Who: Kermit
**Source: ''[[Muppet Babies (2018 TV series)|Muppet Babies]]'' (2018-2022)

*Thanks.
**Who: Thunder
**Source: ''[[My Friend Rabbit]]'' (2007-2008)

*Uh-oh.
**Who: Adam Lyon
**Source: ''[[My Gym Partner's a Monkey]]'' (2005-2008)

*Jenny, did you forget to feed the tiger?
**Who: Nora
**Source: ''[[My Life as a Teenage Robot]]'' (2003-2009)

*Monkey King!
**Who: Kai-Lan, Hoho, Tolee, and Rintoo
**Source: ''[[Ni Hao, Kai-Lan]]'' (2007-2011)

*Thank you for watching the show!
**Who: K.O.
**Source: ''[[OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes]]'' (2017-2019)

*Good night, Olivia. Time for bed, William!
**Who: Mom
**Source: ''[[Olivia]]'' (2009-2013)

*''(translation)'' Phase one is complete, 807612r-B9. Commence Phase two?
**Who: The Guardian
**Source: ''[[Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero]]'' (2014-2017)

*Yes. Yes we do.
**Who: Phineas Flynn
**Source: ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]'' (2007-2015)

*Poppets away!
**Who: Blooter, Patty, and Bobby
**Source: ''[[Poppets Town]]'' (2008-2009)

*Not just yet. My person calls. I'll see you in the morning. And I'll be on time, I promise. But I'm not skipping breakfast. Because believe me, breakfast with Dot, it's the most important meal of my day.
**Who: Lucky
**Source: ''[[Pound Puppies (2010 TV series)|Pound Puppies]]'' (2010-2013)

*Make a run of yourselves! I'm running away!
**Who: Alfe
**Source: ''[[The Problem Solverz]]'' (2011-2013)

*Nobody ever listens to me.
**Who: Zak
**Source: ''[[Rabbids Invasion]]'' (2013-2017)

*I love you, Rapunzel.
**Who: [[w:Flynn Rider|Eugene Fitzherbert]]
**Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

*Attention. As you are no doubt aware, the Principal Office is now under my complete control. You're probably looking forward to one of my erudite speeches about me, Megaframe, the new viral dawn, et cetera et cetera. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. There is no grand scheme here. This is about revenge. Viruses are predatory by design, and it is time for me to follow my function. Prepare yourselves... for the hunt!
**Who: Megabyte
**Source: ''[[ReBoot]]'' (1994-2001)
**Note: Ended after four seasons with no resolution.

*Jolly good show.
**Who: Pops Maellard
**Source: ''[[Regular Show]]'' (2010-2017)

*Aw, raggy!
**Who: Stimpy
**Source: ''[[The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]'' (1991-1996)

*Always, sis. Always.
**Who: Todd Daring
**Source: ''[[The Replacements (TV series|The Replacements]]'' (2006-2009)

*And we're cancelled.
**Who: Dog
**Source: ''[[Right Now Kapow]]'' (2016-2017)

*No... Ashi...
**Who: Jack
**Source: ''[[Samurai Jack]]'' (2001-2004; 2017)

*Yeah!
**Who: Sanjay Patel, Craig Slithers, Megan Sparkles, Hector Flanagan, Ronnie Slithers, and Tuff Fist
**Source: ''[[Sanjay and Craig]]'' (2013-2016)

*I'm happy you're home too, Sofia.
**Who: Princess Amber
**Source: ''[[Sofia the First]]'' (2012-2018)

*Don't apologize. I never do.
**Who: Norman Osborn
**Source: ''[[The Spectacular Spider-Man (TV series)|The Spectacular Spider-Man]]'' (2008-2009)

*Hip hip hooray! The Super Readers saved the day!
**Who: Whyatt Beanstalk
**Source: ''[[Super Why!]]'' (2007-2016)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*Then let's do this together.
**Who: Adora/She-Ra
**Source: ''[[She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]'' (2018-2020)

*It was an accident, and accident!
**Who: Eric Needles
**Source: ''[[Sidekick (TV series)|Sidekick]]'' (2010-2013)

*Well, there's always next season.
**Who: Dr. Eggman
**Source: ''[[Sonic Boom (TV series)]]'' (2014-2017)

*Game over butt-nik!
**Who: Sonic
**Source: ''[[Sonic Underground]]'' (1999)

*I may have been small today, but it turned out to be the biggest day of my life.
**Who: Oso
**Source: ''[[Special Agent Oso]]'' (2009-2012)

*Kimmy? Uh, hello? Kimmy. Umm... Kimmy?
**Who: Amber
**Source: ''[[Sym-Bionic Titan]]'' (2010-2011)

*Umifriend, we couldn't have done it without you!
**Who: Milli
**Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode in Season 1.
*I feel a celebration coming on!
**Who: Bot
**Source: ''[[Team Umizoomi]]'' (2010-2015)
**Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode (starting with the second season), the actual last line is the final verse of the Umi Shake song: &quot;Mighty, mighty, mighty... MATH POWERS!&quot;

*Beast Boy to Robin: I'm on my way, over.
**Who: Beast Boy
**Source: ''[[Teen Titans]]'' (2003-2006)
**Note: Cancelled after five seasons.

* If you don't mind me saying, a Royally Useful Engine.
** Who: The Queen
** Source: ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends]]'' (1984-2021)
** Series ultimately got cancelled due to poor toy sales; succeeded by its reboot ''All Engines Go''.

*The different animals of Third Earth, working together for the first time. You know why? You, Lion-O. You gave them something to believe in. Now, there's still one more stone left. Are we gonna find it or what?
**Who: WilyKit
**Source: ''[[ThunderCats (2011 TV series)|ThunderCats]]'' (2011-2012)

*Okay, time page. How about some help with my math homework?
**Who: Anna
**Source: ''[[w:Time Warp Trio|Time Warp Trio]]'' (2005-2006)

*It's really good. And Yoko likes (baby beans) burritos. She likes almond cookies too. Can you put an extra one in my lunch box tomorrow and some lettuce for Norman...
**Who: Juanita
**Source: ''[[Timothy Goes to School]]'' (2000-2001)

*Oh, and send an ambulance, Sarge. An art lover just fainted.
**Who: Dibble
**Source: ''[[Top Cat]]'' (1961-1962)

*Huh? Awesome!
**Who: Sam
**Source: ''[[Totally Spies]]'' (2001-2015)

*You know it, Pipster. Let's flamin-go!
**Who: Freddy
**Source: ''T.O.T.S.'' (2018-2022)

*Hooray for T.U.F.F.!
**Who: Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, Keswick, and Chief Herbert Dumbrowski
**Source: ''[[T.U.F.F. Puppy]]'' (2010-2015)

*One more thing, how about a dance?
**Who: Tut
**Source: ''[[Tutenstein]]'' (2003-2008)

*Suck my balls! (Thanks for watching!)
**Who: Manbird
**Source: ''[[Ugly Americans]]'' (2010-2012)

*Aw, yeah!
**Who: Uncle Grandpa, Mr. Gus, Pizza Steve, Giant Realistic Flying Tiger, Belly Bag and Frankenstein
**Source: ''[[Uncle Grandpa]]'' (2013-2017)

*The Scare B&amp;B will always be a place for everyone, no matter how different you are. Whether you're human, monster, ghost or ghoul. Or someone who's blue with pointy teeth, like me.
**Who: Vampirina &quot;Vee&quot; Hauntley
* We love you, Vee!
**Who: Bridget
**Source: ''[[Vampirina]]'' (2017-2021)

*To Allura!
**Who: Takashi 'Shiro' Shirogane, Keith, Lance, Katie &quot;Pidge&quot; Holt, and Hunk
**Source: ''[[Voltron: Legendary Defender]]'' (2016-2018)
**Notes: The epilogue reveals what happened to the characters of the show after honoring Allura right before the credits start.

*Nothing ever changes.
**Who: Sylvia and Peepers 
*(post-credits:) They'll get what's coming to them.
**Who: Lord Dominator
**Source: ''[[Wander Over Yonder]]'' (2013-2016)

*Oh, Todd.
**Who: Maurecia
**Source: ''[[Wayside (TV series)|Wayside]]'' (2007-2008)

*Monsta X!
**Who: [[wikipedia:Monsta X|Monsta X]]
**Source: ''[[We Bare Bears]]'' (2015-2019)

*Later days!
**Who: Everyone
**Source: ''[[The Weekenders]]'' (2000-2004)

*Oh well, I guess I'll just have to eat it myself. Works every time.
**Who: Gus
**Source: ''[[Willa's Wild Life]]'' (2008-2010)

*Since we’re coming clean, I always knew you were a monkey.
**Who: Violet
**Source: ''[[WordGirl]]'' (2007-2015)

*Schlitweitz!
**Who: David and Lisa
**Source: ''[[The World of David the Gnome]]'' (1987)

*Wait, did we forget to put away the Happy Ha-Ha Bugs?
**Who: Wubbzy
**Source: ''[[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]]'' (2006-2010)

*Here we go! Yo Gabba Gabba...
**Who: DJ Lance
**Source: ''[[Yo Gabba Gabba!]]'' (2007-2015)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

===''Hilda''===
*Odds are...she'd do it again.
**Who: The Wood Man (Season 1)
**Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-present)

*Oh, Hilda. It's beautiful.
**Who: Johanna (Season 2)
**Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-present)

* Woo-hoo...OOF!
**Who: Hilda
**Source: ''Hilda and The Mountain King'' (2021)

===''Amphibia''===
* Hold on for a little longer girls. I'm coming for you and when I find you, we're gonna get home, but first I think we're gonna have some fun with this place.
**Who: Sasha Waybright (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

* No, I'm not.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

* I have a proposition for you Marcy. And I think you'll find it very interesting.
**Who: King Andras (Season 2A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)
**Note: Although &quot;A Day at the Aquarium&quot; is the mid-season finale, the mid-season finale that's a non-canon is &quot;The Shut In&quot; which could either be the season premiere or the mid-season finale. If the next episode was the mid-season finale, then the last line would be &quot;Not a holiday! Definitely not a holiday!&quot; by Anne Boonchuy.

* Home.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 2B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

* I can't imagine spending the holidays without your family. I know how hard it is to be apart and not know if you'll ever see each other again. So, I'm writing to let you know your daughter is alive. She's trapped in another world, but I promise, I'm going to bring her back home safe. Signed, a friend.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)
**Note: Although, it's not technically the last line in Season 3A. The mid-season finale was supposed to be &quot;Escape to Amphibia&quot;. That means Anne's real last line in Season 3A was supposed to be &quot;What happened here?&quot;.

* Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever. Sometimes, you have to let it go. But of the things you let go, you'd be surprised what makes its way back to you.
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019-2022)

===''Bluey''===
*Night, chickenrat!
**Who: Bluey Christine Heeler and Bingo Heeler (Series 1)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*He remembered us.
**Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 2)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

===''The Cuphead Show!''===
*Sorry, boys. I like ya, but not enough to tango with the cops. So long, fellas.
**Who: Ms. Chalice (Part 1)
**Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (2022-present)

=== ''Elliott from Earth'' ===
*Oh. Was that meant to happen?
**Who: 105E
**Source: ''[[Elliott from Earth]]'', Diminishing Discourse (2021)

===''The Powerpuff Girls''===
*''MOJO!!!'' You get out of there! You're nothing but a big party-crasher!!!
**Who: Bubbles
*So once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls...and the contaminated banana cream pie. 
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (1998-2005)

*Hoc-guy?
**Who: The Professor
**Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (2016-2019)

===''Cat Burglar''===
* But I...
**Who: Rowdy (Bad Ending)
**Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022)

* What can I say? I'm a non-existential cartoon cat!
**Who: Rowdy (Good Ending)
**Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022)

===''Big City Greens''===
*One step ahead of you.
**Who: Remy Remington (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*Whaaaaa?!
**Who: Remy Remington (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)
**Note: Quote from &quot;Phoenix Rises&quot; which is the actual mid-season finale. But, &quot;Forbidden Feline&quot; is probably the mid-season finale as it counts as a holiday special, despite it being the 37th episode in chronological order. So, the last line could be &quot;Look, I'm sorry I abandoned you earlier, but if you're gonna fancy me up, AT LEAST LET ME PICK THE DRESS!!!!&quot; by Cricket Green. 

*Ugh, fine.
**Who: Cricket Green (Season 1C)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*WHAT HAPPENED?!
**Who: Bill Green (Season 2A)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*And yet, it just...''did.''
**Who: Tilly Green (Season 2B)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*No, it's Gloria ''Plus'' Green. My name isn't -- oh, forget it.
**Who: Gloria Sato (Season 2C)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!!! Ah, forget it. I'll just see myself to my room.
**Who: Cricket Green (Season 3A part 1)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

*I just had the craziest idea...
**Who: Bill Green (Season 3A part 2)
**Source: ''Big City Greens'' (2018-present)

===''The Ghost and Molly McGee''===
* Ooh!
**Who: Molly McGee (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-present)

===''The Owl House''===
* Yes, consume, grow wise, avoid paper cuts.
**Who: Bat Queen (Season 1A)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

* In the meantime, the Day of Unity is upon us. And we have much work to do.
**Who: Emperor Belos (Season 1B)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

* Who dubbed you a parent?
**Who: Eda (Season 2A)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

*Hey, Mom. I'm back.
**Who: Luz Noceda (Season 2B)
**Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-present)

===''Animaniacs''===
*That's why the right man for the job...''[tosses her hair]'' is always a woman. Wink!
** Who: Dot Warner (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-present)

*This time, I wonder if we'll dream.
** Who: Wakko Warner (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-present)

*It actually doesn't stink!
**Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Wakko Warner]]
*(post-credits:) Goodbye, nurse!
**Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Yakko, Wakko, and Dot]]
**Source: ''[[Animaniacs]]'' (1993-1998)

*I am not a refrigerator!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Animaniacs_characters#Pinky and the Brain|The Brain (Brain2-Me2)]]
**Source: ''[[Pinky and the Brain]]'' (1995-1998)

*And the moral of our story is...
**Who: Yakko Warner
**Source: ''[[Wakko's Wish]]'' (1999)

*I'm Underwear Head!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Elmyra Duff|Elmyra Duff]]
*They're Pinky, the Brain, and Underwear Head-head-head-head-head.
**Who: Off-screen vocals
**Source: ''[[Pinky, Elmyra &amp; the Brain]]'' (1998-1999)

===''Gravity Falls''===
*That's good.
**Who: Gideon Gleeful (Season 1A)
*(in-credits) Cross this town off our list.
**Who: Winninghouse Coupon Saver  (Season 1A)

*Here we go.
**Who: Stanley Pines (Season 1B)

*I am so on it, dude.
**Who: Soos Ramirez (Season 2A)

*If you've ever taken a road trip through the pacific northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called &quot;Gravity Falls&quot;. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it, some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there, somewhere in the woods. Waiting.
**Who: Dipper Pines (Season 2B)
**Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012–2016)

===''Elinor Wonders Why''===
*Hello, baby tree!
**Who: Olive Elephant (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-present)

*Yes! We need more observations! Salta, ranita, salta! ''[giggles]''
**Who: Elinor Rabbit (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-present)

===''Star vs. the Forces of Evil''===
*I hope you found all the pieces to the wand.
**Who: Glossaryck (Season 1)

*I'm not a malady.
**Who: Ludo (Season 2A)

*Star! Hey! What do you mean--? ''[gasps]'' Star...?
**Who: Marco Diaz (Season 2B)

*My name is Metora.
**Who: Metora Butterfly (Season 3A)

*Hello, my love. We're home.
**Who: Eclipsa (Season 3B)

*Okay, you know, I will be waiting by the elevator.
**Who: Marco Diaz (Season 4A)

*Hi.
**Who: Star Butterfly (Season 4B)
**Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

===''Ben 10''===
*And for Ben Tennyson, who didn't want the summer to end, he would come to realize that going back to school was merely another beginning.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2005 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2005-2008)
**Notes: The final episode of the original series, ''Goodbye and Good Riddance'', was retconned as non-canon in the sequel series.

*If he ever does, it's hero time!
**Who: Ben Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Alien Force]]'' (2008-2010)

*Two is plenty.
**Who: Doyle Blackwell
**Source: ''[[The Secret Saturdays]]'' (2008-2010)

*Perhaps for your eighteenth birthday.
**Who: Azmuth
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien]]'' (2010-2012)

*Gwen? Okay, fine, Gwen''dolyn'', you and Kevin pack your bags, we're going on a road trip!
**Who: Ben Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Omniverse]]'' (2012-2014)

*You know what that means, kiddos? Team Tennyson is back in business!
**Who: Grandpa Max Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2017 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2017-2021)

===''The Berenstain Bears''===
*What about my kumquats? Oh, I love those kumquats.
**Who: Weasel McGreed
**Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (1985-1987)

*Anytime. Your tool belt will be right here waiting.
**Who: Papa Q. Bear
**Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (2003-2004)

===''Cow and Chicken''===
*Yeah! hold it, It was brilliant! Bravo! Get up, my little crab friends. Ow! oh, oh. Ow! oh, oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Easy with the pinchers. Ow! ow! oh. I did not have to bring you guys tonight! Looks like Red Guy always gets in the END! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
**Who: Red Guy
**Source: ''[[Cow and Chicken]]'' (1997-1999)

*It was Baboon all along and not me that everyone was watching. I am not a legend, I am a tool. Well, I guess it's dummies won, smart guys zero.
**Who: I.M Weasel
**Source: ''[[I Am Weasel]]'' (1997-2000)

===DC animated universe===
*It's okay, there'll be another time.
**Who: Batgirl
**Source: ''[[Batman: The Animated Series]]'' (1992-1995)

*One person at a time.
**Who: Lois Lane
**Source: ''[[Superman: The Animated Series]]'' (1996-2000)

*Guilty... guilty... guilty...
**Who: Two-Face
**Source: ''[[The New Batman Adventures]]'' (1997-1999)

*I'm coming.
**Who: Miguel Diaz 
**Source: ''[[Batman Beyond]]'' (1999-2001)

*Yeah, they can't get rid of ''us'' that easily.
**Who: Static
**Source: ''[[Static Shock]]'' (2000-2004)

*Don't worry, Zee, we'll find a way.
**Who: Ro Rowan 
**Source: ''[[The Zeta Project]]'' (2001-2002)

*I love you, too.
**Who: [[Green Lantern]] John Stewart
**Source: ''[[Justice League]]'' (2001-2004)

*And the adventure continues.
**Who: Wonder Woman
**Source: ''[[Justice League|Justice League Unlimited]]'' (2004-2006)

===DIC ''Mario'' Cartoons===
*Y'know, dearie, I've enjoyed your visit, but do me one favor: Next time, let me come and visit you!
**Who: Grandma Toadstool
**Source: ''[[The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!]]'' (1989)

*Yeah, but we couldn't have done it without our Toad!
**Who: Mario
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3]]'' (1990)

*Good night. Mama Luigi.
**Who: Yoshi
**Source: ''[[Super Mario World (TV series)|Super Mario World]]'' (1991)

===''Digimon''===
*Our adventure in the Digital World might be over for now, but that gate won't stay closed forever. I have a feeling that this won't be the last time we see our pals, the Digimon! You wait and see. One day, that portal will open up again and we'll return to the Digital World! I wonder if Agumon will remember me? I know I'll never forget him, or the rest of the Digimon! None of us will!
**Who: Tai Kamiya
**Source: ''Digimon Adventure'' (1999-2000)

*So, you can see we're still having adventures. They're just a little different from the ones we used to have when we were kids. The darkness has not been conquered, and it will continue to fight against the light forever, but as long as people remember to follow their dreams, evil will be kept at bay. And on days like today, it's hard to see any darkness anywhere. Now it's up to our children, and to children everywhere, to follow their dreams. Who knows where they'll end up, but the only way to find out is to take that first step into adventure.
**Who: T.K. Takashi
**Source: ''Digimon Adventure 02'' (2000-2001)

*Even though I thought I would never be the same, the world soon went back to normal and after a while so did I. Life became exactly as it was before I met Guilmon. Kazu still made bad jokes and Miss Nami still gave too much homework. Sometimes I go by our old hangouts just to see if he's there. Don't know why I bother, 'cause he's never there. Most times I'm OK but there's this one thing that bugs me: a promise I made to a friend—a promise I don't think I can keep.
**Who: Takato Matsuki
**Source: ''Digimon Tamers'' (2001-2002)

*But even if I spent time with my family— or other friends or with our family or just hanging around not crying I'll be best friends with you guys forever!
**Who: The Digidestined
**Source: ''Digimon Frontier'' (2002-2003)

===''Dora the Explorer''===
*Gracias.
**Who: Dora Márquez
**Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*Adios, amigos! See you soon!
**Who: Dora Márquez, Emma, Kate, Naiya, and Alana 
**Source: ''[[Dora and Friends: Into the City!]]'' (2014-2016)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*See you soon.
**Who: Alicia Márquez
**Source: ''[[Go, Diego, Go!]]'' (2005-2011)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

===''Dragon Ball''===
*For the continued adventures of Goku and his friends, be sure to watch Dragon Ball Z!
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball'' (1986-1989)

*Young Uub has been taken in by the greatest warrior on the planet--Goku, the orphan who fell from the stars to become the savior of mankind. One thing is certain: as long as Goku lives, peace AND prosperity will reign.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Z'' (1989-1996)

*Til we meet again, guys!
**Who: Goku
**Source: ''Dragon Ball GT'' (1996-1997)

*Goku, please come home.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Z Kai'' (2010-2018)

*See you all again!
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Super'' (2017-2019)

===''DuckTales''===
*Me wallet! Stop that thief! Don't let that sneak get away! Dijon!
**Who: Scrooge McDuck
**Source: ''[[DuckTales (1987 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (1987-1990)

*Plenty more adventures where that came from, eh, lad? Now, where in blazes is that cocoa stand? I am freezing!
**Who: Scrooge McDuck (Season 1A)

*Boys?!
**Who: Della Duck (Season 1B)

*I'm home.
**Who: Della Duck (Season 2A)

*This has gone too far. The ducks almost cost us a world today. And, without the world, who would we larceny against? The pieces are finally in piece. Time to come out of the shadows, take control, and end Clan Mcduck. If the Mcduck family wants an adventure, we'll give them their last.
**Who: Chairman Bradford Buzzard/FOWL Agent (Season 2B)

*Woo-hoo!
**Who: Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby (Season 3A)

*Alright. That was close, Launchpad. Phew, almost ruined the tender family moment.
**Who: Launchpad McQuack (Season 3B)
**Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021)

===''Fancy Nancy''===
*We here at the School De Fancy now sees that everyone has their own way of being fancy. And as long as it makes you happy...we think it's magnifique!
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 1)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

*It sure feels magnifique to be home!
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 2)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

*It's…magic. And the only thing more magical than Paris is famille. That's French for family.
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 3)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

===''The Proud Family''===
*Come on, Puff!
**Who: Suga Mama (Season 1)
**Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-present)

===''Infinity Train''===
*I'm ready for anything.
**Who: Tulip Olsen (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

*I wanted to be cool one time, just once. Nerd.
**Who: Jesse Cosay (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

*Guess we'll have to figure it out.
**Who: Grace Monroe (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

*We're...
*We're working on it.
**Who: Min-Gi Park and Ryan Akagi (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019-2021)

===''Inspector Gadget''===
*I'll get you next time, Gadget! Just you wait!
**Who: Dr. Claw
**Source: ''[[Inspector Gadget]]'' (1982-1986)

===''The Lion King''===
*Oy.
**Who: [[w:Timon and Pumbaa|Timon]]
**Source: ''[[Timon &amp; Pumbaa (TV series)|Timon &amp; Pumbaa]]'' (1995-1999)

===''The Loud House''===
*Dang it!
**Who: Loud family (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*Looks like we're getting the hang of not being so overprotective, huh, Howie? Howie? I'll get the smelling salts.
**Who: Harold McBride (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*Ooh, I got one: hamburgers.
**Who: Leni Loud (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*It's just till the end of the summer.
**Who: Lori Loud (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*You got it! All right, everybody. Back to class, or it's a week's detention!
**Who: Rusty Spokes (Season 5)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*Ronnie Anne! That's my line!
**Who: Carlino Casagrande (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019-present)

*Thank you, Mr. President.
**Who: Ronnie Anne Santiago (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019-present)

===''Madagascar''===
*Even the problem, not our jurisdiction.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Skipper|Skipper]]
**Source: ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (2008-2015)

*Where are we?
**Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Alex|Alex]]
**Source: ''[[All Hail King Julien]]'' (2014-2017)

===''Marvel Animation Universe''===
*I made the show. Hulk Out. Bam, I said it. Hulk Out.
**Who: A-Bomb
**Source: ''[[Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.]]'' (2013-2015)

*So, I guess this is it. But there's no need to get all sappy. I thought once I became the Ultimate Spider-Man, that would mean my work was done. But far from it. This isn't the end, this is only the beginning.
**Who: Spider-Man
**Source: ''[[Ultimate Spider-Man (TV series)|Ultimate Spider-Man]]'' (2012–2017)

===''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic''===
*In fact, it’s made it...
*...the best night ever!
**Who: Mane Six and Spike (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Oh, yeah? Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party!
**Who: Spike (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Yes! Everything's gonna be just fine!
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Yes, well, I suppose not.
**Who: Discord (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Wonder what she's dreaming about now.
**Who: Spike (Season 5A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Starting is easy. All you have to do is make a friend; and you've got ''seven'' of them right here.
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 5B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Friendship lessons can happen...anywhere.
**Who: Starlight Glimmer (Season 6A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Somepony is really gonna have to catch us up on what we missed.
**Who: Rainbow Dash (Season 6B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Seriously, this is heavy.
**Who: Pinkie Pie (Season 7A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*It's funny. I thought meeting my idol would give me all the answers I ever wanted. But instead, I forgot what I already knew. Good thing I had a student of my own to remind me.
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 7B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Gotcha! Maybe I'm not such a bad actress after all.
**Who: Princess Celestia (Season 8A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Hey, neighbor. Wanna be friends?
**Who: Cozy Glow (Season 8B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*Nicely done.
**Who: Princess Celestia (Season 9A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*That's all right, because I know exactly where to send you.
**Who: Future Twilight Sparkle (Season 9B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

===''Green Eggs and Ham''===
*That's why we should get going!
**Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 1)
**Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019-2022)

*Yes! She likes them! Oh, this is good news!
**Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 2)
**Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019-2022)

===''Rugrats''===
*Happy Birthday, Kimi!
**Who: Chuckie Finster
**Source: ''[[Rugrats]]'' (1991-2004)

*&quot;Gotcha&quot;!?
**Who: Tommy Pickles
**Source: ''[[All Grown Up!]]'' (2003-2008)

*Well look, class! Our friend Mr. Sun has come to say hello! Isn't it wonderful? And we're all back to our happy happy happy selves!
**Who: Miss Weemer
**Source: ''[[Rugrats Pre-School Daze]]'' (2008)

===''Steven Universe''===
*Yes, please!
**Who: Pearl
**Source: ''[[Steven Universe]]'' (2013-2019)

*Bye!
**Who: Pearl
**Source: ''[[Steven Universe Future]]'' (2019-2020)

===''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles''===
*Except Donatello's cooking.
**Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (1987-1996)

*Yeah! Ha-ha-ha!
**Who: [[w:Michelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Michelangelo]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2003-2009)

*We are home.
**Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2012-2017)

*Wait, what?
**Who: [[w:Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Leonardo]]
**Source: ''[[Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2018-2020)

===''Tiny Toon Adventures''===
*Season's Greetings!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Gogo Dodo|Gogo Dodo]]
**Source: ''[[Tiny Toon Adventures]]'' (1990-1992)

*Parting is such sweet sorrow.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Plucky Duck|Plucky Duck]]
**Source: ''[[The Plucky Duck Show]]'' (1992)

===''Total Drama''===
*At least things can only go up from here. [sighs] Of course.
**Who: Dave
**Source: ''[[Total Drama]]'' (2007-2014)

* Yes. Throw all your money on the ground. Very smart. That's all for now, we hope we enjoyed our incredible race around the world. Be sure to keep an eye out for more of ''The Ridonculous Race''.
**Who: Don
**Source: ''[[Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race]]'' (2015)

===''Transformers''===
*We shall see, Galvatron. We shall see.
**Who: Zarak
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Generation 1|The Transformers]]'' (1984-1987)

*Waspinator happy at last.
**Who: Waspinator
**Source: ''[[Beast Wars|Beast Wars: Transformers]]'' (1996-1999)

*He's with us, Rattrap. As long as Cybertron is alive, Optimus lives on. In our hearts and our memories. As well Megatron had also played a grand role in the vital scheme. The vision from the Oracle has come to pass. Optimus has finally achieved his mission.
**Who: Cheetor
**Source: ''[[Beast Machines|Beast Machines: Transformers]]'' (1999-2000)

*''Who's the smartest shark around?/Who's the coolest shark in town?/Sky-Byte, that's me!'' Ha!
**Who: Sky-Byte
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2001)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2001-2002)

*The war between the Autobots and the Decepticons has come to an end, and without the hatred between the two sides, there was no evil to feed Unicron, and he became powerless. Both Unicron and Megatron scattered into the far reaches of the universe. As for me, my purpose has been served. Cybertron is safe and Transformers live in peace with the Mini-Cons. So the next time you look out into space and see a peaceful star far, far away, it just might be Cybertron. TRANSFORM!
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Armada]]'' (2002-2003)

*Check it out, Ironhide. That's our future out there.
**Who: Kicker Jones
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Energon]]'' (2004-2005)

*Fire up the engines to full throttle! We have a course set to the far reaches of the universe, and it's time to go! Courage, hope for the future, and teamwork—our adventure will continue as long as we remember the words of Primus: 'Til all are one! TRANSFORM!!!
**Who: Optimus Prime and everybody
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Cybertron]]'' (2005-2006)

*That would be the easy way out, Megatron. You don't deserve it.
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers Animated]]'' (2007-2009)

*Until we meet again, old friend.
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Prime]]'' (2010-2013)

*I want to get a picture of my heroes.
**Who: Chief Charlie Burns
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Rescue Bots]]'' (2011-2016)

*Saved by the howl. Autobots, let's rev up and roll out.
**Who: Bumblebee
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2015-2017)

===''Unikitty!''===

*Nice job, Bat-team.
**Who: Unikitty (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

*Happens to the festival, Amigo.
**Who: Dunklecorn (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

*Nice.
**Who: One of the Two Astronauts (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

===''[[Winx Club]]''===
*Listen. Whatever it is you choose to do, I want you to know that you're not alone.
**Who: Sky (Cinélume, Season 1)
*To next year!
**Who: Alfea students (4Kids, Season 1)

*Mirta!
**Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 2)
*Wait for us!
**Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 2)

*Yes, I think I'm ready. Mom, dad, I feel like were going to meet very, very soon.
**Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 3)
*I think I'm ready. Mom, Dad, I feel like we're going to meet really soon.
**Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 3)
*I ''am'' ready. Mom, Dad, I have a feeling we're going to meet very, very soon.
**Who: Bloom (Atlas Oceanic, Season 3)

*Your journey on the path of magic also passes through Gardenia. Now off you go, you're on in a minute!
**Who: Faragonda (Cinélume, Season 4)
*A fairy's magical journey includes all her dreams and passions. Now off you go, show me what you've got, girls!
**Who: Faragonda (Atlas Oceanic, Season 4)

*Best little sister in the known universe!
**Who: Daphne (Season 5)

*Thanks, cuz.
**Who: Thoren (Season 6)

*Even the smallest creature can play a key role in the destiny of all the worlds.
**Who: Bloom (Season 7)

*Winx forever!
**Who: Stella (Season 8)

*There is not enough room for fairies and witches on Earth!
**Who: Venomya/Baba Yaga
**Source: ''[[World of Winx]]'' (2016-2017)
**Note: Ended after two seasons with no resolution due to the crew returning to the original show.

==See also==
* [[First lines in animated TV shows]]

[[Category:Last lines|Animated]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows|*]]</text>
      <sha1>q8gwt7136zwi2qnm2yu0ust4tph2taa</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>First lines in animated films</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>214079</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149196</id>
      <parentid>3148544</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:30:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:81:8500:E190:848F:8B78:18DC:AED7</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Care Bears film series */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="51737" xml:space="preserve">==Animated films==
* If you were asked to choose the most fabulous character in English literature, who would it be? Robin Hood? King Arthur? Becky Sharp? Sherlock Holmes? Oliver Twist, perhaps? Well, any one of them would be an excellent choice. Still, for the most fabulous character of all, I would nominate... a toad - J. Thaddeus Toad, Esq. Have you ever met him? You'll find his story in this delightful little book, &quot;The Wind In the Willows&quot;. Toad, you might say, was the one disturbing element: incurable adventurer, mad, reckless, tried everything, positive mania for fads, and he never countered the cost. Had a host affair with friends, of course, but there were only three who had his best interests at heart. One was a badger, MacBadger. Another was a water rat; a bit stuffy, perhaps, but really a fine fellow. And a mole; gentle creature, kind and sympathetic.
**Who: [[w:Basil Rathbone|Basil Rathbone]]
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad]]'' (1949)

*Your highness…
**Who: Footman
**Source: ''[[Anastasia (1997 film)|Anastasia]]'' (1997)

* Lupin, are you trying to obtain eternal life, like Dracula? Sorry, but everything has an end!
**Who: Heiji Zenigata the Seventh
**Source: ''[[The Mystery of Mamo]]'' (1978)

*No, no, no, oh, no, oh, no... I'M LOST!
**Who: An ant
**Source: ''[[A Bug's Life]]'' (1998)

*This old world is filled with wonders, but to me there's no place more wonderful than a farm in springtime, when the sun is just lifting on the skyline. The air is so sweet, and everywhere you look, little miracles are happening. Buds swell into blossoms, eggs hatch, young are born. Everything's off to a fresh start, and life is good and busy and brand-new. Around a barnyard, big families are a blessing. The more, the merrier. Root and grunt, push and shove, room for everybody. Well, everybody except the runt. John Arabel had been up since daybreak. He'd seen size of the pig, and he wasn't looking forward to what had to be done.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Charlotte's Web (1973 film)|Charlotte's Web]]'' (1973)

*Shush!
**Who: Bunty
**Source: ''[[Chicken Run]]'' (2000)

*Sometimes I think I'm cursed, 'cause of something that happened before I was even born. See, a long time ago there was this family - the papá, he was a musician. He and his family would sing and dance, and count their blessings… but he also had a dream... to play for the world. And one day, he left with his guitar and never returned. And the mamá? She didn't have time to cry over that walkaway musician! After banishing all music from her life, she found a way to provide for her daughter. She rolled up her sleeves and she learned to make shoes. She could have made candy, or fireworks, or sparkly underwear for wrestlers! But no, she chose shoes. Then she taught her daughter to make shoes. And later, she taught her son-in-law. Then her grandkids got roped in. As her family grew, so did the business. Music had torn her family apart, but shoes held them all together. You see the woman... was my great-great grandmother... Mama Imelda. She died way before I was born. But my family still tells her story... every year on Dia de los Muerto The Day of the Dead... And her little girl? She's my great grandmother, Mama Coco.
**Who: Miguel Rivera
**Source: ''[[Coco (2017 film)|Coco]]'' (2017)

*What'd the doctor say?
**Who: Foxy Fox
**Source: ''[[Fantastic Mr. Fox (film)|Fantastic Mr. Fox]]'' (2009)

*Now some folks like the heavy stuff, with titles five-feet wide. Not me, I'm always out for fun. I like the lighter side, yes sir!
**Who: Jiminy Cricket
**Source: ''[[Fun and Fancy Free]]'' (1947)

*Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is...
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Hercules (1997 film)|Hercules]]'' (1997)

* Ah!
**Who: Hilda
**Source: ''Hilda and The Mountain King'' (2021)

*Do you ever look at someone and wonder, &quot;What is going on inside their head?&quot; Well, I know. Yeah, ...I know Riley's head.
**Who: Joy
** Source: ''[[Inside Out (2015 film)|Inside Out]]'' (2015)

*Mayday! Mayday! This is the Annabelle. I've lost my bearings and I'm taking on water. My last good reading is 44 degrees north, 68 degrees....
**Who: Earl Stutz
**Source: ''[[The Iron Giant]]'' (1999)

* I must say I'm honored you've chosen to spend your valuable Saturday night with me. What happened? Tom's parents send him off for more forty-watt bulbs?
**Who: Jane
**Source: ''[[Is It College Yet?]]'' (2002)

*With every sun comes a new day. A new beginning. A hope that things will be better today than they were yesterday. But not for me. My name is Eep. And this is my family, the Croods. If you weren't clued in already by the animal skins and sloping foreheads, we're cavemen. Most days we spend in our cave, in the dark. Night after night, day after day. Yep, home sweet home. When we did go out, we struggled to find food in a harsh and hostile world. And I struggled to survive my family. We were the last ones around. There used to be neighbors. Uh, the Gorts, smashed by a mammoth. The Horks, swallowed by a sand snake. The Erfs, mosquito bite. Throgs, common cold. And the Croods, that's us. The Croods made it, because of my dad. He was strong, and he followed the rules. The ones painted on the cave walls. Anything new is bad. Curiosity is bad. Going out at night is bad. Basically, anything fun is bad. Welcome to my world! But this is a story about how all that changed in an instant. Because what we didn't know was that our world was about to come to an end. And there were no rules on our cave walls to prepare us for that.
**Who: Eep Crood
**Source: ''[[The Croods]]'' (2013)

*Guy, you got to go!
**Who: Guy's Dad
**Source: ''[[The Croods: A New Age]]'' (2020)

*Well, students... I certainly appreciate your help in cleaning out the classroom for the summer. It almost makes me forget that most of you didn't learn a thing all year!
**Who: Mr. DeMartino
**Source: ''[[Is It Fall Yet?]]'' (2000)

*This is James Henry Trotter. He lived with his mother and father in a cozy little house by the sea.
**Who: Old Man
**Source: ''[[James and the Giant Peach (film)|James and the Giant Peach]]'' (1996)

*Uh, you better have a look at this, sir.
**Who: Soldier
**Source: ''[[Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (film)|Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2001)

*Isn't this great? The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face...a perfect day to be at sea!
**Who: Prince Eric
**Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'' (1989)

*My precious Melody, I'm giving you this locket so that you will never forget that part of your heart... will always belong to the sea.
**Who: King Triton
**Source ''[[The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea]]'' (2000)

*Hey look, guys! It's the word &quot;start&quot;!
**Who: Gabi
**Source: ''The Great Numbers Game'' (1998)

*Movie!
**Who: Lily Loud
*Okay, Lily, I didn't wake you up at six in the morning just to play. It's time for another lesson on how to survive in a big family.
**Who: Lincoln Loud
**Source: ''[[The Loud House Movie]]'' (2021)

*Wow!
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''My Scene Goes Hollywood: The Movie'' (2005)

*Ah! We're under attack! Light the signal!
**Who: Soldier
**Source: ''[[Mulan (1998 film)|Mulan]]'' (1998)

*Dad, you have the coolest job.
**Who: Shane Detorre
**Source: ''[[Osmosis Jones]]'' (2001)

*Pretty, huh? I'll bet a lot of you folks don't believe that...about a wish coming true...do you? Well, I didn't, either. Of course, I'm just a cricket singing my way from hearth to hearth, but let me tell you what made me change my mind.
**Who: Jiminy Cricket
**Source: ''[[Pinocchio (1940 film)|Pinocchio]]'' (1940)

*On Christmas Eve, many years ago, I laid quietly in my bed. I did not rustle the sheets, I breathed slowly and silently. I was listening for a sound I was afraid I'd never hear: the sound of Santa's sleigh bells.
** Adult Hero Boy
** Source: ''[[The Polar Express]]'' (2004)

*Come on, come on!
**Who: Polly Pocket
**Source: ''PollyWorld'' (2006)

*Come on. Father! Father do you really have to go?
**Who: Kayley
**Source: ''[[Quest for Camelot]]'' (1998)

*Today, we sail to conquer the new world, for Spain, for glory, for gold!
**Who: Cortes
**Source: ''[[The Road to El Dorado]]'' (2000)

* &quot;So they set off up the hill, arm in arm, the knight, the dragon, and the boy. The lights in the little village began to go out one by one.&quot; &quot;But there were stars and a late moon as they climbed the downs together.&quot; Robert, please.
**Who: Mrs. Benchley
**Source: ''[[The Reluctant Dragon (1941 film)|The Reluctant Dragon]]'' (1941)

*We come in peace, for cats and mice everywhere.
**Who: Scratchy
**Source: ''[[The Simpsons Movie]]'' (2007)

*In a faraway land long ago, lived a king and his fair queen. Many years had they longed for a child, and finally their wish was granted. A daughter was born, and they called her Aurora. Yes, they named her after the dawn, for she filled their lives with sunshine. Then a great holiday was proclaimed throughout the kingdom, so that all of high or low estate might pay homage to the infant princess. And our story begins on that most joyful day.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Sleeping Beauty]]'' (1959)

* Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space, through wind and darkness I summon thee. Speak! Let me see thy face.
**Who: The Evil Queen
**Source: ''[[Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]'' (1937)

* Mommy, look! Look over there!
**Who: Terk
**Source: ''[[Tarzan (1999 film)|Tarzan]]'' (1999)

*Run! It's the Zugor!
**Who: Tarzan
**Source: ''[[Tarzan II]]'' (2005)

*Boy, talk about your lucky puppet. I'd give anything if only I could become a real live boy like that Pinocchio. Aah!
**Who: Spot Helperman
**Source: ''[[Teacher's Pet (2004 film)|Teacher's Pet]]'' (2004)

* Fear, Treachery, Bloodlust. Thousands of years ago these were the forces that ruled our world. A world where prey were scared of predators. And predators had an uncontrollable, biological urge to maim, and maul, and... AAH! BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD! And death! Back then a world was divided in 2. Vicious Predator or Meat Prey.
**Who: Young Judy Hopps
**Source: ''[[Zootopia]]'' (2016)

===''[[Aladdin]]'' film series===
*Ah, salaam, and good evening to you, worthy friend. Please, please, come closer. [camera zooms in] Too close. A little too close. [camera zooms out a little bit] There. Welcome to Agrabah, city of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today. Come on down. Heh, heh. Look at this. Yes. Combination hookah and coffeemaker. Also makes julienne fries. Will not break. [taps it on table] will not… [it falls apart] It broke. Ohh! Look at this. [pulls out Tupperware] I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. [makes a raspberry sound] Ah, still good. Wait, don’t go! I can see that you’re only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think, then, you would be most rewarded to consider this. [pulls out the lamp] Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man’s life. A young man who, liked this lamp, was more than what he seemed. The diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? [pours sand from the lamp into his hand] It begins on a dark night… [throws the sand into the sky, forming a starry nightscape] where a dark man waits with a dark purpose.
**Who: Peddler
**Source: ''[[Aladdin (1992 Disney film)|Aladdin]]'' (1992)

*This night has been quite rewarding.
**Who: Thief #1
**Source: ''[[The Return of Jafar]]'' (1994)

*Oooh, in all my years, never have I seen the streets so full of bustle and hustle and assorted commotion.
**Who: Peddler
**Source: ''[[Aladdin and the King of Thieves]]'' (1996)

===''Bambi'' film series===
*Wake up!
**Who: Thumper
**Source: ''[[Bambi]]'' (1942)

*Mother?!
**Who: Bambi
**Source: ''[[Bambi II]]'' (2006)

===''Barbie'' film series===
*You almost had it, Kelly. Here, let me show you.
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''[[Barbie in the Nutcracker]]'' (2001)

*Okay! Ready, Freddy!
**Who: Kelly
**Source: ''[[Barbie as Rapunzel]]'' (2002)

*What's wrong, Kelly?
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''[[Barbie of Swan Lake]]'' (2003)

*Long ago and far away, in a village high on a mountaintop, something amazing was occurring. At the very same moment, two identical baby girls were born! One, a baby princess.The king and queen were overjoyed. Princess Anneliese would have only the finest. The second baby girl was named Erika. Her parents loved her every bit as much as the king and queen loved the princess, but they worried. They were so poor. How would they be able to care for their little daughter? Many years passed. The princess learned her royal duties, while Erika worked long and hard as a seamstress for the spiteful Madame Carp. With lives so different, it wasn't surprising that the princess and the pauper never met. But fate decreed they would. It all started at the royal mine, where the miners informed the queen the gold had run out. The widowed queen was shocked. The kingdom was now bankrupt. How was she going to take care of her people? If only she could call on her trusted adviser Preminger, but he was away on a long journey. She needed to do something quickly to save the kingdom, but what? And then it struck her. Nearby lived a rich young king who was seeking a wife.
**Who: Barbie (narrating)
**Source: ''[[Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper]]'' (2004)

*Just through the rainbow, from the world we know, lies... Fairytopia.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Barbie: Fairytopia]]'' (2005)

*Annika? Happy Birthday!
**Who: Queen
**Source: ''[[Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus]]'' (2005)

*Just through the rainbow, from the world we know, lies... Fairytopia. In this land there lived a fairy named Elina, a fairy without wings. More than anything Elina wished she could have wings and fly like everyone else. But when the evil Laverna, twin sister to Fairytopia ruler: The Enchantress, released a sickness into the air that killed the plants and took away the fairies power to fly. Only Elina have the strength to leave her home and look for help. She took her puffball, Bibble. And sought me, the Guardian Fairy Azura. But when I was kidnapped by Laverna's henchmen, Fungi. Elina knew she had to stop Laverna on her own. On their way to Laverna's lair, Elina and Bibble received help from several new friends. But in the end, Elina had to face Laverna on her own. And though Laverna offered Elina what she wanted most in the world... Elina stood up for what was right and fought back against Laverna, saving Fairytopia. Even though it meant she wouldn't get her wings, or so she got. For back at the Magic Meadow, the Enchantress herself came to Elina and to thank her for her bravery, the Enchantress bestowed the most wonderful gift imaginable — Elina's very own wings.
**Who: Azura
**Source: ''Barbie Fairytopia: Mermaidia'' (2006)

*Wow... that was an impressive band practice.
**Who: Kevin
**Source: ''The Barbie Diaries'' (2006)

*And so, as a chief emissary of the majestic kingdom of Bulovia, which is known for its abundance of pears, potatoes and peasants, I am authorised by my courageous king and my magnificent queen to hereby invite the princesses of King Randolph to a royal gala. We have invited princesses from far and wide to this extraordinary ball.
**Who: Ambassador
**Source: ''[[Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses]]'' (2006)

*Just through the rainbow, from the world we know, lies... Fairytopia. This land of peace and harmony is ruled by the gracious Enchantress, and her Guardian Fairies. Yet, when the Enchantress's evil sister Laverna poisoned Fairytopia with a sickness that took away the fairies' power to fly, she was able to kidnap all seven guardians. Even the Enchantress fell under her sister's spell. All would have been lost were it were not for the efforts of Elina, a wingless fairy who was unaffected by the sickness. Thanks to Elena's bravery, Laverna was banished to the Bogs of the Hinterlands. And Elina was rewarded with the greatest gifts imaginable: a necklace from the Enchantress herself, and her very own wings. Elina loved her new wings. But later, when her friend Nalu the Merprince was kidnapped by Max, Laverna's top Fungus, Elina faced a difficult choice. Yet, to save her friend... she did exactly that. Elina and the mermaid Nori rescued Nalu, and discovered a True Self Berry that helped Elina regain her wings. The berry had quite a different effect on Laverna. Elina went home to the Magic Meadow, happy to return to a simple fairy life... or so she thought.
**Who: Azura
**Source: ''Barbie Fairytopia: Magic of the Rainbow'' (2007)

*What a night! What a storm!
**Who: Sagi
**Source: ''[[Barbie as the Island Princess]]'' (2007)

*Bibble, what are you doing?
**Who: Elina
**Source: ''Barbie: Mariposa'' (2008)

*I really like that, Teresa. And for the bridge, let's try E-flat for two bars, then D-flat then back to A-flat.
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''Barbie and the Diamond Castle'' (2008)

*And this is the bedroom I've prepared for you.
**Who: Servent
**Source: ''Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale'' (2010)

*Tracey Clinger here, at the premiere of Barbie's latest movie, where top stylists Taylor and Carrie are sharing their secrets for dressing a superstar. Taylor? Carrie?
**Who: Tracey Clinger
**Source: ''[[Barbie: A Fairy Secret]]'' (2011)

*Emily! I hope you’re doing your homework and not just watching that parade!
**Who: Mrs. Willows
**Source: ''[[Barbie: Princess Charm School]]'' (2011)

*Dakotah arms! Casey where are you looking? Gabrielle smile! And a one two three and three and four! Head up Casey watch the audience! Now on the beat! Perfect! Head direction girls lean you're arms and a two a three and four!
**Who:
**Source: ''Barbie in The Pink Shoes'' (2013)

*Princess Alexa? Princess Alexa? Princess Alexa, are you in there?
**Who: Brookhurst
**Source: ''[[Barbie and the Secret Door]]'' (2014)

*We're almost there, princess!
**Who: Phillip
**Source: ''Barbie in Rock 'n Royals'' (2015)

*Once upon a time, in a distant galaxy... the stars would twinkle and twirl in the sky... keeping the galaxy in bright harmony with their light... but an ancient prophecy told of a time when the harmony would be broken. The stars and planets would slow their dance, and disappear... leaving a galaxy of darkness. Yet, there was hope... as the prophecy also foretold of one who could also restore harmony to the stars. One with the heart of a leader. Mm, not him. Or him... but try telling a king that. Even though the king had tried—and failed many times over—he was certain he was the one who would return the stars to their shimmering glory. He just needed a little help... so he recruited a team with special skills to join a mission to save the stars.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Barbie: Star Light Adventure]]'' (2016)

*Are you excited, Rookie? We're almost there!
**Who: Stacie
**Source: ''Barbie &amp; Her Sisters in A Puppy Chase'' (2016)

*You guys ready? I finally finished the level I was working on. Can't wait to see what you think!
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''Barbie: Video Game Hero'' (2017)

*Whoa! What is that? Could that be one of those gemstone dolphins? I've never seen one of those! Boys, let's bring him in!
**Who: Pete
**Source: ''Barbie Dolphin Magic'' (2017)

*Pretty isn't it, Morning Star? I love being alone up here. Makes me feel... like me.
**Who: Amelia
**Source: ''Barbie Princess Adventure'' (2020)

*Move it, buddy! Let's go!
**Who: Cab driver
**Source: ''Barbie: Big City, Big Dreams'' (2021)

===''Beauty and the Beast'' film series===
*Once upon a time in a far away land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned to old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances for beauty was found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous Beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which will bloom until his twenty-first year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a Beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a Beast?
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|Beauty and the Beast]]'' (1991)

*Who-oa!
**Who: Chip
**Source: ''[[Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas]]'' (1997)

*Chandeliera. You look radiant. Together. You and Lumiere  will be the perfect lightwill be the perfect light.
**Who: Cogsworth
**Source: ''[[Beauty and the Beast: Belle's Magical World]]'' (1998)

===''Bratz'' film series===
*Mmm! Funk-a-lish!
**Who: Cloe
**Source: ''Bratz: Starrin' &amp; Stylin'' (2004)

*Let’s move it people, our concert’s in less than one hour and this car’s gotta look good!
**Who: Sasha
**Source: ''Bratz Rock Angelz'' (2005)

*People, this rocks! I can't believe I'm here! This must be a dream. How did this happen? It's an incredible story, so that's no surprise. It was the last day of school — we couldn't wait for summer to start because my BFFs and I had all been accepted to an elite performing arts camp, Camp Starshine.
**Who: Sasha
**Source: ''Bratz Girlz Really Rock'' (2008)

===''[[w:Finding Nemo (franchise)|Finding Nemo]]'' film series===
* Wow!
**Who: Marlin
**Source: ''[[Finding Nemo]]'' (2003)

* Hi, I'm Dory. I suffer from short-term remembory loss.
**Who: Baby Dory
**Source: ''[[Finding Dory]]'' (2016)

===''Care Bears'' film series===
*Bless all the people young and old, for they are yours to love and hold, and bless Mr. and Mrs. Cherrywood, amen.
**Who: The Orphanage Children
**Source: ''[[The Care Bears Movie]]'' (1985)

*Oh, my!
**Who: True Heart Bear
**Source: ''[[Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation]]'' (1986)

*Bedtime Bear, time to wake up!
**Who: Wish Bear
**Source: ''Care Bears: Journey to Joke-a-lot'' (2004)

*If wishes were fishes and soup bowls were dishes, I'd make something delicious for you! (humming)
**Who: Wish Cub
**Source: ''The Care Bears' Big Wish Movie'' (2005)

*Whoa...it's finally gonna open! Hey, everybody, look! Whoo-Hoo World is opening tomorrow!
**Who: Wish Bear
**Source: ''Care Bears: Oopsy Does It!'' (2007)

*Share, it's too windy! Get inside!
**Who: Harmony Bear
**Source: ''Care Bears: The Giving Festival

===''[[w:Cars (franchise|Cars]]'' film series===
* Okay. Here we go. Focus. Speed, I am speed. One winner, forty-two losers. I eat losers for breakfast. Breakfast. Hm, maybe I should've had breakfast. A little breaky could be good for me -- nonono, stay focused. Speed. I'm faster than fast, quicker than quick. I am Lightning!
**Who: Lightning McQueen
**Source: ''[[Cars (film)|Cars]]'' (2006)

* This is Agent Leland Turbo. I have a flash transmission for Agent Finn McMissile. Finn, my cover's been compromised. Everything's gone pear-shaped. You won't believe what I've found out here. Transmitting my grids now. Good luck!
**Who: Leland Turbo
**Source: ''[[Cars 2]]'' (2011)

*Okay. Here we go. Focus. Speed, I am speed. One winner, forty-two losers. I eat losers for breakfast. ...Did I used to say that?
**Who: Lightning McQueen
**Source: ''[[Cars 3]]'' (2017)

*What's taking this guy so long? Is he really as good as they say he is?
**Who: Bravo
**Source: ''[[Planes (film)|Planes]]'' (2013)

*Look at them go, into the final lap!
**Who: Brent Mustangburger
**Source: ''[[Planes: Fire and Rescue]]'' (2014)

===''[[w:Cinderella (franchise)|Cinderella]]'' film series===
* Once upon a time in a faraway land, there was a tiny kingdom; peaceful, prosperous, and rich in romance and tradition. Here in a stately chateau, there lived a widowed gentleman, and his little daughter, Cinderella. Although he was a kind and devoted father, and gave his beloved child every luxury and comfort, still, he felt she needed a mother's care. And so he married again, choosing for his second wife, a woman of good family, with two daughters just Cinderella's age, by name, Anastasia and Drizella. It was upon the untimely death of this good man, however, that the stepmother's true nature was revealed: cold, cruel, and bitterly jealous of Cinderella's charm and beauty, she was grimly determined to forward the interests of her own two awkward daughters. Thus, as time went by, the chateau fell into disrepair, for the family fortunes were squandered upon the vain and selfish stepsisters while Cinderella was abused, humiliated, and finally forced to become a servant in her own house. And yet, through it all, Cinderella remained ever gentle and kind, for with each dawn she found new hope that someday her dreams of happiness would come true.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Cinderella (1950 film)|Cinderella]]'' (1950)

* Come on, Gus-Gus. Faster!
**Who: Jaq
**Source: ''[[Cinderella II: Dreams Come True]]'' (2002)

* Do you remember the story of a girl who lived a life of cinders, and how she found true love because she kept a beautiful dream in her heart? Of course, it helped that she had mouse friends who could sew and a Fairy Godmother who could do wonders with pumpkins. Well, that girl is me.
**Who: [[w:Cinderella (Disney character)|Cinderella]]
**Source: ''[[Cinderella III: A Twist in Time]]'' (2007)

===''[[w:Hotel Transylvania (franchise)|Hotel Transylvania]]'' film series===
* Peek a boo.
**Who: Count Dracula
**Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania]]'' (2012)

* Welcome! Welcome!
**Who: Count Dracula
**Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania 2]]'' (2015)

* Budapest! Budapest is the next stop. Budapest! Budapest is the next stop. Budapest! Tickets ladies.
**Who: England Conducter
**Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation]]'' (2018) 

* Here's to Hotel Transylvania!
**Who: Jonathan Loughran
**Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania: Transformania]]'' (2022)

===''[[w:How to Train Your Dragon|How to Train Your Dragon]]'' film series===
* This is Berk. It's twelve days north of Hopeless, and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. My village. In a word, sturdy. And it's been here for seven generations, but, every single building is new. We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. You see, most places have mice or mosquitoes. We have... dragons.
**Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
**Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon (film)|How to Train Your Dragon]]'' (2010)

* This... is Berk. The best kept secret this side of, well, anywhere. Granted, it may not look like much, but this wet heap of rock packs more than a few surprises. Life here is amazing, just not for the faint of heart. See, where most folks enjoy hobbies like whittling or needlepoint, we Berkians prefer a little something we like to call, Dragon Racing!
**Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
**Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon 2]]'' (2014)

* Quiet!
**Who: Ivar the Witless
**Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World]]'' (2019)

===''[[w:Ice Age (franchise)|Ice Age]]'' film series===
* Well, why not call it &quot;The Big Chill&quot; or &quot;The Nippy Era&quot;? I'm just sayin', how do we know it's an ice age?
**Who: Freaky Mammal 1
**Source: ''[[Ice Age (2002 film)|Ice Age]]'' (2002)

* Oh, boy! This global warming is killing me!
**Who: Male Palaeotherium
**Source: ''[[Ice Age: The Meltdown]]'' (2006)

* It's happening!
**Who: [[w:List of Ice Age characters#Manny|Manny]]
**Source: ''[[Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs]]'' (2009)

* YEE-HAW!
**Who: Buck Wild
**Source: ''[[Ice Age: Continental Drift]]'' (2012)

* The universe: A vast expanse of space and matter. It includes all that we see, and all that we know. Since the beginning of time, we have wondered how it came to be. A gloriously orchestrated plan? A chance series of events? Or something much, much... dumber?
**Who: Neil deBuck Weasel
**Source: ''[[Ice Age: Collision Course]]'' (2016)

===''[[Kim Possible]]'' film series===
*Who invited him back here?!
**Who: Bonnie Rockwaller
**Source: ''[[Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time]]'' (2003)

*Target: Nakasumi-san.
**Who: Shego
**Source: ''[[Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama]]'' (2005)

===''[[w:Kung Fu Panda (franchise)|Kung Fu Panda]]'' film series===
* Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.
**Who: [[w:Po (Kung Fu Panda)|Po]]
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda]]'' (2008)

* Long ago, in ancient China, the peacocks ruled over Gongmen City. They brought great joy and prosperity to the city, for they had invented fireworks. But their son, Lord Shen, saw darker power in the fireworks. What had brought color and joy could also bring darkness and destruction. Shen's troubled parents consulted a soothsayer. She foretold that if Shen continued down this dark path, he would be defeated by a warrior of black and white. The young lord set out to change his fate, but what he did next... only sealed it. Shen returned to his parents full of pride, but in their faces, he only saw horror. He was banished from the city forever. But Shen swore revenge. Someday, he would return, and all of China would bow at his feet.
**Who: Soothsayer
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda 2]]'' (2011)

*Inner peace... inner peace. Itchy nose. Finally, inner peace.
**Who: Oogway
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda 3]]'' (2016)

===''Monsters Inc'' film series===
*Goodnight, sweetheart.
**Who: Simulation Mother
**Source: ''[[Monsters Inc.]]'' (2001)

*I scared you!
**Who: Kid 1
**Source: ''[[Monsters University]]'' (2013)

===''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' film series===
*Hoo-wee! Your very first princess summit! You must be over the moon, Twilight.
**Who: Applejack
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]'' (2013)

*That was barely worth the effort, Adagio. I'm tired of fast food. I need a meal.
**Who: Aria Blaze
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks]]'' (2014)

*I got your text, Rainbow Dash! Did something come through the portal? Is Equestrian magic on the loose? Did Twilight come back with a problem that only we can solve?!
**Who: Sunset Shimmer
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Friendship Games]]'' (2015)

*No... It can't be... It can't be true...
**Who: Human Twilight Sparkle
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Legend of Everfree]]'' (2016)

===''[[w:Toy Story (franchise)|Toy Story]]'' film series===
* Alright everyone! This is a stick up! Don't anybody move!
**Who: Andy Davis (impression of Mr. Potato Head)
**Source: ''[[Toy Story]]'' (1995)

* Buzz Lightyear Mission Log: all signs point to this location of Zurg's Fortress. But there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.
**Who: Video Game Buzz Lightyear
* Oh no! NOOOOO! No, no, no, no, no! I'm never gonna defeat Zurg!
**Who: Rex
**Source: ''[[Toy Story 2]]'' (1999)

* Ha! Ha! Ha! Money! Money! Money! Hey!
**Who: Mr Potato Head
**Source: ''[[Toy Story 3]]'' (2010)

* WOW! It is raining cats and dogs out there! I hope they make it back all right.
**Who: Jessie
**Source: ''[[Toy Story 4]]'' (2019)

===''[[Winnie the Pooh]]'' film series ===
*This could be the room of any small boy, but it just happens to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. Like most small boys, Christopher Robin has toy animals to play with, and they all live together in a wonderful world of make-believe. But his best friend is a bear called Winnie the Pooh, or Pooh for short. Now Pooh had some very unusual adventures, and they all happened right here in the Hundred Acre Wood. 
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''[[The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh]]'' (1977)

*Hello, there!
** Who: Tigger
**Source: ''[[Piglet's Big Movie]]'' (2003)

*Once upon the last day of a golden summer, there was a boy... and bear. The boy, whom we shall meet in a moment, was called Christopher Robin. The bear was called Winnie the Pooh. And together they had many grand adventures in a remarkable place called the Hundred Acre Wood. But the grandest and most extraordinary of all their adventures was still to begin.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin]]'' (1997)

* This is one of my favorite once-upon-a-times, although I'm not quite sure which time it was once upon. But it had been so nice and summery in the Hundred Acre Wood, and the sunshine was as warm as a blanket. And the streams were gurgling happily. As happily as a tumbly full of honey... (laughs) ...which is very happy. But all that changed when... the stranger came.
** Who: Winnie the Pooh
** Source: ''[[Pooh's Heffalump Movie]]'' (2005)

*This could be the room of any young boy, but it just happens to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. Now,like any small child Christopher Robin had many toy animals to play with, but his very best friend was a bear, named Winnie The Pooh. Together, Pooh and his friends shared many grand adventures. But one of their most unusual began on an early autumn morning. It was that time of year again. That magical time when leaves fall, and pumpkins grin, and Spookables roam free. Halloween had come to the Hundred Acre Wood.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie]]'' (2006)

* Now, this might be the room of any small boy but it just happens to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. And, like most small boys, Christopher Robin had toy animals to play with. And together they had many remarkable adventures... in an enchanted place... called the Hundred Acre Wood. But of all his animal friends, Christopher Robin's Very best friend... was a bear called Winnie the Pooh.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[The Tigger Movie]]'' (2000)

* This could be the room of any small boy. But, in fact, it's not. It is the room of one young boy in particular named Christopher Robin. Now, Christopher Robin has a very active imagination, not to mention the uncanny ability to collect things. Big things. Small things. Sticky things. But his favorite things are his stuffed animals. Ah! There they are now. A charming and eccentric cast of characters. And his best friend among them is a bear named Winnie the Pooh. Or Pooh for short. Together they had many unusual adventures, that all happened right here in the Hundred Acre Wood.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh (film)|Winnie the Pooh]]'' (2011)

*Welcome to the Hundred Acre Wood, where voices come together in joyful celebration. And the seasons gently turn like pages in a book. A time of giving shared with good friends and a silly old bear named Winnie the Pooh.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: Seasons of Giving]]'' (1999)

*Merry Christmas Eve, Pooh.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: A Very Merry Pooh Year]]'' (2002)

* This could be the room of any small boy. But it just happens to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. Like any small child, Christopher Robin had toy animals to play with. Together they shared many exciting and unusual adventures. Oh. Uh... Huh? Uh, where was I? Oh, yes. They shared many exciting and unusual... Huh? What is going on here? Hello! Is anyone there?
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: Springtime With Roo]]'' (2004)

===''[[Winx Club]]'' film series ===
* Once upon a time, in the magical dimension far far away, there was a normal Earth girl, who discovered she was a fairy and a princess. Her life was changed forever into a fairy tale, a story of courage, friendship, and adventure. It is an enchanted story but one without a happily ever after because she has not been able to write the ending... until now. (Dubbing Brothers)
* In our lives, we all face great challenges. It is through these tests, that our true selves are revealed. Who are our real friends? Who should we trust? Who believes in us? This is the story of a strong-willed fairy, who set out to answer these most difficult of questions. And encounter the biggest adventure of her life. And the greatest evil that has ever been known. (Atlas Oceanic)
** Who: Bartelby
** Source: ''[[Winx Club: The Secret of the Lost Kingdom]]'' (2007)

*Welcome to the famous planet Magix, where girls come from every corner of the universe to discover its many secrets. It is here at the renowned Alfea School that young fairies learn and perfect their powers. Potionology, Biotransformation and magic physics are just a few examples of the many courses offered here. Alfea is run by the acquaint Headmistress Faragonda. Just a few kilometers away lies the notorious Cloud Tower School for Witches. Run by Headmistress Griffin, this school offers courses on nasty spells and cruel curses. If you're a kind, warm-hearted girl who'd love to have a set of glittery wings then Alfea is just the school for you. But if you're leaning more towards boiling cauldron and macabre apparel, Cloud Tower will have a flying broom and pointy hat waiting for you. Let's get back to our live coverage at Alfea, where both schools were just about to pick up a new school year. Right behind me on the VIP platform, no one's missing. And Alfea's most famous alumni are here too. The courageous and spunky Winx Club. Name: The Winx Club. Profession: Guardian Fairies of the Magic Dimension. Relationship Status: Super taken. They saved the world from the threat of the Ancestral Witches and they brought Sparks back to life. A kingdom found its princess, and that princess found her parents. Bloom's destiny is to become Queen and to sit on throne of Sparks, or Eraklyon if she marries Sky. We're here at &quot;It's Magix&quot; have met Bloom's parents - Queen Mariam and King Oritel. (Dubbing Brothers)
*Welcome to &quot;It's Magix!&quot;, and all the latest on the Magic Dimension's royalist event, the Princess Ball! We've confirmed all the most exciting couples in the Magic Dimension will be there, except for Princess Bloom and Prince Sky. We spoke to Bloom's parents earlier today. Your majesties, any word on whether Sky is asked to Bloom to the Princess Ball? (Atlas Oceanic)
**Who: Magix reporter
**Source: ''[[Winx Club 3D: Magical Adventure]]'' (2010)

*Ah, finally!
**Who: Icy
**Source: ''[[Winx Club: The Mystery of the Abyss]]'' (2014)

===''Wreck-It Ralph'' film series===
*My name's Ralph, and I'm a bad guy. Uh, let's see, I'm 9 feet tall, I weigh 643 pounds, got a bit of a temper on me
**Who: Wreck-It Ralph
**Source: ''[[Wreck-It Ralph]]'' (2012)

*Okay, my turn, my turn! Um, I got one.
**Who: Wreck-It Ralph
**Source: ''[[Ralph Breaks the Internet]]'' (2018)

== Animated specials ==
===''The Fairly OddParents'' TV movies===
*No, no. I'll never tell you my secret.
**Who: Timmy Turner
**Source: ''The Fairly OddParents: Abra-Catastrophe'' (2003)

*He's getting on us!
**Who: Future A.J.
**Source: ''The Fairly OddParents: Channel Chasers'' (2004)

*Oh Flooky! Up ahead! The bridge is out! We don't have much time.
**Who: Flunky
**Source: ''The Fairly OddParents: School's Out!: The Musical'' (2005)

*Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is your airplane speaking. If you look off the right side of my armpit, you'll see we're directly over Dimmsdale Park.
**Who: Wanda
**Source: ''The Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odd Baby'' (2008)

===''[[The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour Specials]]''===
*Well, future failures of America, I hope you're all prepared for tomorrow's big science fair. This year's theme is... transportation.
**Who: Denzel Crocker
**Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour'' (2004)

*On my mark, Carl. Walk under the ladder... now!
**Who: Jimmy Neutron
**Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 2: When Nerds Collide'' (2006)

*There, my Interdimensional Portal update's done. And I couldn't have done it without the help of my two best friends.
**Who: Jimmy Neutron
**Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 3: The Jerkinators'' (2006)

=== Mattel presentations ===
*That was amazing! You guys rocked!
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''My Scene: Jammin' in Jamaica'' (2004)

*Whoo-hoo! Yeah! This place is too cool! Madison's dad has to let us have Chelsea's surprise party here next week!
**Who: Delancy
**Source: ''My Scene: Masquerade Madness'' (2004)

*The magazines are awesome, the ice cream is molto bene, and what's really cool, everyone walks everywhere over there! Which would explain why Italians make such good shoes!
**Who: Polly Pocket
**Source: ''Polly Pocket: Lunar Eclipse'' (2003)

*Sorry I had to keep my news on the down-low all day, but I didn't want you to be distracted during school.
**Who: Polly Pocket
**Source: ''Polly Pocket: 2 Cool at the Pocket Plaza'' (2005)

=== ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' specials ===
*To the right! To the right! To the left! To the left! Now up! Now up! Bring it down! Spin it around! Wash that car like you mean it! Come on!
**Who: Human Pinkie Pie
**Source: ''Dance Magic'' (2017)

*It is almost time.
**Who: Stalwart Stallion
**Source: ''Movie Magic'' (2017)

*Those girls!
**Who: Juniper Montage
**Source: ''Mirror Magic'' (2017)

*Excuse me.
**Who: Wallflower Blush
**Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Forgotten Friendship'' (2018)

*Experience the world like you’ve never seen it before at the one, the only...Equestria Land! No, no, stop! CUT! CUT!!!
**Who: Vignette Valencia
**Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rollercoaster of Friendship'' (2018)

*SPRING BREAAAAK!!
**Who: Human Pinkie Pie
**Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Spring Breakdown'' (2019)

*Starswirled Music Festival, we have arrived!
**Who: Sunset Shimmer
**Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Sunset's Backstage Pass'' (2020)

===''Rankin/Bass''===
*If I lived to be 100, I'll never be able to forget that big snowstorm a couple of years ago. The weather closed in and.... well, you might not believe it, but the world almost missed Christmas. Oh, excuse me! Call me Sam. What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a talking snowman before? Nice around here, isn't it? I call it Christmastown, better known as the North Pole. The Christmas Tree Forest. Yep. Here's where we grew them. Nice place to live around here, you know. Christmas seals. Of course, the number one citizens up here are the Clauses; Santa and the Missus. They live right over there. First castle on the left. Matter of fact, the only castle on the left.
**Who: Sam the Snowman
**Source: ''[[Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (TV special)|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]'' (1964)

*I suppose it all started with the snow. You see, it's a very special kind of snow. A snow to make the happy happier and the giddy even giddier. A snow to make a homecoming homier and natural enemies friends, naturally. For it was the first snow of the season. And as any child can tell you, there's a certain magic to the very first snow... especially when it falls on the day before Christmas. For when the first snow is also a Christmas snow, well, something wonderful is bound to happen.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Frosty the Snowman (TV special)|Frosty the Snowman]]'' (1969)

*Pass the snow tire!
**Who: A child
**Source: ''[[Frosty's Winter Wonderland]]'' (1976)

*And it all began on that same foggy winter's night.
**Who: Father Time
**Source: ''[[Rudolph's Shiny New Year]]'' (1976)

*Hey, Frosty!
**Who: Rudolph
**Source: ''[[Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July]]'' (1979)

*Some folks say if you really want to see the country, take a bus. Or hop a train. Ride a bike. Me, I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy. Stick to what I know: snowflakes. I know it's not for everyone, but as long as you pack light, I mean, and wear at least three layers of undies, it's a lovely way to spend the winter.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Frosty Returns]]'' (1992)

===''Thomas and Friends''===
*Summertime is always beautiful on the Island of Sodor. The water sparkles in the sun, and beautiful flowers blossom for everyone. It is a busy time for all the engines, they collect lots of vacationers from the docks and show them all the splendid sights. James shows them the seaside, Emily shows them the water, and Thomas shows them the Sodor Suspension Bridge. And the bridge is one of the vacationers' favorite sites. And each night when the work is done, Gordon, Henry, James, Edward, Percy, and Thomas go back to their home at Tidmouth Sheds. The sheds are where they rest their wheels, cool their boilers and talk about the day's adventures. The sheds are the engines' home they are warm and snug, and most of all they are a cozy place to sleep. One morning, Sir Topham Hatt came to Tidmouth sheds. He had a very important announcement to make.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Calling All Engines'' (2005)

*Sodor Day was coming to the Island of Sodor. Thomas and James were very excited. There would be picnics all over the island, a magnificent brass band, and the biggest carnival Sodor had ever seen. All the engines were busy, and everyone was excited. Sodor Day was the island's grandest celebration. Thomas and James were racing to the wharf. Whoever arrived first would be given a special special.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''The Great Discovery''

*It was summer on Sodor. The sky was bright blue, the fields were full of flowers, and the birds sang sweetly. As thomas filled up with water, he felt very happy. Suddenly, there was a whoosh and a whizz and a clackety clap, as a streak of silver roared by on the track!
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Hero of the Rails'' (2009)

*The Island of Sodor is a world of wonder. There are places and faces that are old and new, there are bridges and tunnels that engines puff through. There are hilltops and cliff to climb and explore, there are rivers and railways and much much more. All on the Island of Sodor. There was great excitement on the island. A brand new search and rescue center was being built. The engines had never heard of anything quite so special. They knew it was important.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Misty Island Rescue'' (2010)

*On the Island of Sodor, it had been a long hot summer. The sun was shining brightly, the sea sparkled blue, and the days were long and lazy. Thomas's steam floated fluffy and white against the cloudless sky. He chuffed cheerfully around the corner and gasped. The bright blue sky was turning black, and smoggy smoke rose from the tracks! There was only one thing it could possibly be...
*Fire!
**Who 1: The narrator
**Who 2: Thomas
**Source: ''Day of the Diesels'' (2011)

*It was a busy day on the Island of Sodor. At the Blue Mountain Quarry, the narrow gauge engines were working hard.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Blue Mountain Mystery'' (2012)

*It was a beautiful day on the Island of Sodor. Thomas and Percy were busy shunting cars at Brendam docks.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''King of the Railway'' (2013)

*It was a bright sunny day, and the Island of Sodor is bustling. The engines were carrying passengers and goods up and down every line on Sir Topham Hatt's railway, except Thomas's branch line, which was closed for repairs to a damaged bridge. Instead of working on his branchline, Thomas had been sent to the Sodor China Clay Pits to work with Bill and Ben.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Tale of the Brave'' (2014)

*Express coming through!
*A long time ago on the Island of Sodor, there was a little railway known as the North Western. The smallest engine working on the main line was Edward. He helped with shunting cars and coaches in the yard for the larger engines. The biggest engine on the railway was Gordon. He loved pulling the express, but he didn't much care for some of his other jobs.
**Who 1: Gordon
**Who 2: The narrator
**Source: ''The Adventure Begins'' (2015)

*It was a bright sunny day on the Island of Sodor. Thomas the Tank Engine was working on his branchline his faithful coaches, Annie and Clarabel.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure'' (2015)

*It was a bright clear day on the Island of Sodor, and Thomas was pulling the local -- the slow train that stops at every station along the main line from Knapford to Vickerstown.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''The Great Race'' (2016)

*The Island of Sodor is the home of the North Western Railway, with engines of all shapes and sizes, working hard to deliver goods and passengers to their destinations. There are branch lines that run along the coast of the island, serving the docks, the fishing villages and the seaside towns. There are branch lines that run to the farms, quarries and ancient castles of the island's heartland. And there is the main line, which runs all the way from Knapford on the west coast of the island, to Vicarstown, in the east. The line continues over the Vicarstown Bridge, where it connects to the mainland beyond. One day, Henry was pulling a very important goods train on his way to the mainland.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Journey Beyond Sodor'' (2017)

*Oh dear, Thomas. That must be too many cars for a little tank engine like you. Why don't you ask another engine to help you?
**Who: Gordon
**Source: ''Big World! Big Adventures!'' (2018)

=== ''Winx Club'' specials===
*Bloom, honey? Time to get up! You're gonna be late, Bloom.
**Who: Vanessa
**Source: ''Winx Club: The Fate of Bloom'' (2011)

*Bloom lives a quiet life in Gardenia, until the day she finds out that she's a fairy. She leaves Earth to study at the Alfea College for Fairies in the Magic Dimension. There, she finds new friends and together, they become the Winx Club. But she is also challenged by the Trix, three evil witches, in a terrible battle. Bloom defeats the Trix by transforming into a fairy for the first time.
*Bloom! Can you hear me?
**Who 1: Narrator
**Who 2: Daphne
**Source: ''Winx Club: Revenge of the Trix'' (2011)

*Bloom finds her dreams haunted by the mysterious nymph named Daphne. And by visions of her own fiery past, her parents tell her that she is adopted. And she finds out that Sky is engaged to Princess Diaspro. Bloom is determined to discover all she can about her birth family, but the Trix are equally determined to get Bloom's power. They follow Bloom home to Gardenia and take her power: The Dragon Flame.
*Bloom... Bloom, wake up!
**Who 1: Narrator
**Who 2: Mike
**Source: ''Winx Club: The Battle for Magix'' (2011)

*Armed with the power of the Dragon Flame, the Trix aim to conquer all of Magix. The schools, even Cloud Tower, unite to fight them. The Winx and Sky are determined to help Bloom get her powers back. But it's only with the help of her ghostly sister, Daphne, that Bloom recovers the Dragon Flame. In a final battle, Bloom and the Winx defeat the Trix. With order restored, the witches are imprisoned in Lightrock Monastery.
*Isn't it great to have everything back to normal?
**Who 1: Narrator
**Who 2: Sky
**Source: ''Winx Club: The Shadow Phoenix'' (2011)
[[Category:First lines|Animated films]]</text>
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    <revision>
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        <ip>2601:81:8500:E190:848F:8B78:18DC:AED7</ip>
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      <comment>/* Care Bears film series */</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="51881" xml:space="preserve">==Animated films==
* If you were asked to choose the most fabulous character in English literature, who would it be? Robin Hood? King Arthur? Becky Sharp? Sherlock Holmes? Oliver Twist, perhaps? Well, any one of them would be an excellent choice. Still, for the most fabulous character of all, I would nominate... a toad - J. Thaddeus Toad, Esq. Have you ever met him? You'll find his story in this delightful little book, &quot;The Wind In the Willows&quot;. Toad, you might say, was the one disturbing element: incurable adventurer, mad, reckless, tried everything, positive mania for fads, and he never countered the cost. Had a host affair with friends, of course, but there were only three who had his best interests at heart. One was a badger, MacBadger. Another was a water rat; a bit stuffy, perhaps, but really a fine fellow. And a mole; gentle creature, kind and sympathetic.
**Who: [[w:Basil Rathbone|Basil Rathbone]]
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad]]'' (1949)

*Your highness…
**Who: Footman
**Source: ''[[Anastasia (1997 film)|Anastasia]]'' (1997)

* Lupin, are you trying to obtain eternal life, like Dracula? Sorry, but everything has an end!
**Who: Heiji Zenigata the Seventh
**Source: ''[[The Mystery of Mamo]]'' (1978)

*No, no, no, oh, no, oh, no... I'M LOST!
**Who: An ant
**Source: ''[[A Bug's Life]]'' (1998)

*This old world is filled with wonders, but to me there's no place more wonderful than a farm in springtime, when the sun is just lifting on the skyline. The air is so sweet, and everywhere you look, little miracles are happening. Buds swell into blossoms, eggs hatch, young are born. Everything's off to a fresh start, and life is good and busy and brand-new. Around a barnyard, big families are a blessing. The more, the merrier. Root and grunt, push and shove, room for everybody. Well, everybody except the runt. John Arabel had been up since daybreak. He'd seen size of the pig, and he wasn't looking forward to what had to be done.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Charlotte's Web (1973 film)|Charlotte's Web]]'' (1973)

*Shush!
**Who: Bunty
**Source: ''[[Chicken Run]]'' (2000)

*Sometimes I think I'm cursed, 'cause of something that happened before I was even born. See, a long time ago there was this family - the papá, he was a musician. He and his family would sing and dance, and count their blessings… but he also had a dream... to play for the world. And one day, he left with his guitar and never returned. And the mamá? She didn't have time to cry over that walkaway musician! After banishing all music from her life, she found a way to provide for her daughter. She rolled up her sleeves and she learned to make shoes. She could have made candy, or fireworks, or sparkly underwear for wrestlers! But no, she chose shoes. Then she taught her daughter to make shoes. And later, she taught her son-in-law. Then her grandkids got roped in. As her family grew, so did the business. Music had torn her family apart, but shoes held them all together. You see the woman... was my great-great grandmother... Mama Imelda. She died way before I was born. But my family still tells her story... every year on Dia de los Muerto The Day of the Dead... And her little girl? She's my great grandmother, Mama Coco.
**Who: Miguel Rivera
**Source: ''[[Coco (2017 film)|Coco]]'' (2017)

*What'd the doctor say?
**Who: Foxy Fox
**Source: ''[[Fantastic Mr. Fox (film)|Fantastic Mr. Fox]]'' (2009)

*Now some folks like the heavy stuff, with titles five-feet wide. Not me, I'm always out for fun. I like the lighter side, yes sir!
**Who: Jiminy Cricket
**Source: ''[[Fun and Fancy Free]]'' (1947)

*Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is...
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Hercules (1997 film)|Hercules]]'' (1997)

* Ah!
**Who: Hilda
**Source: ''Hilda and The Mountain King'' (2021)

*Do you ever look at someone and wonder, &quot;What is going on inside their head?&quot; Well, I know. Yeah, ...I know Riley's head.
**Who: Joy
** Source: ''[[Inside Out (2015 film)|Inside Out]]'' (2015)

*Mayday! Mayday! This is the Annabelle. I've lost my bearings and I'm taking on water. My last good reading is 44 degrees north, 68 degrees....
**Who: Earl Stutz
**Source: ''[[The Iron Giant]]'' (1999)

* I must say I'm honored you've chosen to spend your valuable Saturday night with me. What happened? Tom's parents send him off for more forty-watt bulbs?
**Who: Jane
**Source: ''[[Is It College Yet?]]'' (2002)

*With every sun comes a new day. A new beginning. A hope that things will be better today than they were yesterday. But not for me. My name is Eep. And this is my family, the Croods. If you weren't clued in already by the animal skins and sloping foreheads, we're cavemen. Most days we spend in our cave, in the dark. Night after night, day after day. Yep, home sweet home. When we did go out, we struggled to find food in a harsh and hostile world. And I struggled to survive my family. We were the last ones around. There used to be neighbors. Uh, the Gorts, smashed by a mammoth. The Horks, swallowed by a sand snake. The Erfs, mosquito bite. Throgs, common cold. And the Croods, that's us. The Croods made it, because of my dad. He was strong, and he followed the rules. The ones painted on the cave walls. Anything new is bad. Curiosity is bad. Going out at night is bad. Basically, anything fun is bad. Welcome to my world! But this is a story about how all that changed in an instant. Because what we didn't know was that our world was about to come to an end. And there were no rules on our cave walls to prepare us for that.
**Who: Eep Crood
**Source: ''[[The Croods]]'' (2013)

*Guy, you got to go!
**Who: Guy's Dad
**Source: ''[[The Croods: A New Age]]'' (2020)

*Well, students... I certainly appreciate your help in cleaning out the classroom for the summer. It almost makes me forget that most of you didn't learn a thing all year!
**Who: Mr. DeMartino
**Source: ''[[Is It Fall Yet?]]'' (2000)

*This is James Henry Trotter. He lived with his mother and father in a cozy little house by the sea.
**Who: Old Man
**Source: ''[[James and the Giant Peach (film)|James and the Giant Peach]]'' (1996)

*Uh, you better have a look at this, sir.
**Who: Soldier
**Source: ''[[Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (film)|Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2001)

*Isn't this great? The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face...a perfect day to be at sea!
**Who: Prince Eric
**Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'' (1989)

*My precious Melody, I'm giving you this locket so that you will never forget that part of your heart... will always belong to the sea.
**Who: King Triton
**Source ''[[The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea]]'' (2000)

*Hey look, guys! It's the word &quot;start&quot;!
**Who: Gabi
**Source: ''The Great Numbers Game'' (1998)

*Movie!
**Who: Lily Loud
*Okay, Lily, I didn't wake you up at six in the morning just to play. It's time for another lesson on how to survive in a big family.
**Who: Lincoln Loud
**Source: ''[[The Loud House Movie]]'' (2021)

*Wow!
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''My Scene Goes Hollywood: The Movie'' (2005)

*Ah! We're under attack! Light the signal!
**Who: Soldier
**Source: ''[[Mulan (1998 film)|Mulan]]'' (1998)

*Dad, you have the coolest job.
**Who: Shane Detorre
**Source: ''[[Osmosis Jones]]'' (2001)

*Pretty, huh? I'll bet a lot of you folks don't believe that...about a wish coming true...do you? Well, I didn't, either. Of course, I'm just a cricket singing my way from hearth to hearth, but let me tell you what made me change my mind.
**Who: Jiminy Cricket
**Source: ''[[Pinocchio (1940 film)|Pinocchio]]'' (1940)

*On Christmas Eve, many years ago, I laid quietly in my bed. I did not rustle the sheets, I breathed slowly and silently. I was listening for a sound I was afraid I'd never hear: the sound of Santa's sleigh bells.
** Adult Hero Boy
** Source: ''[[The Polar Express]]'' (2004)

*Come on, come on!
**Who: Polly Pocket
**Source: ''PollyWorld'' (2006)

*Come on. Father! Father do you really have to go?
**Who: Kayley
**Source: ''[[Quest for Camelot]]'' (1998)

*Today, we sail to conquer the new world, for Spain, for glory, for gold!
**Who: Cortes
**Source: ''[[The Road to El Dorado]]'' (2000)

* &quot;So they set off up the hill, arm in arm, the knight, the dragon, and the boy. The lights in the little village began to go out one by one.&quot; &quot;But there were stars and a late moon as they climbed the downs together.&quot; Robert, please.
**Who: Mrs. Benchley
**Source: ''[[The Reluctant Dragon (1941 film)|The Reluctant Dragon]]'' (1941)

*We come in peace, for cats and mice everywhere.
**Who: Scratchy
**Source: ''[[The Simpsons Movie]]'' (2007)

*In a faraway land long ago, lived a king and his fair queen. Many years had they longed for a child, and finally their wish was granted. A daughter was born, and they called her Aurora. Yes, they named her after the dawn, for she filled their lives with sunshine. Then a great holiday was proclaimed throughout the kingdom, so that all of high or low estate might pay homage to the infant princess. And our story begins on that most joyful day.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Sleeping Beauty]]'' (1959)

* Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space, through wind and darkness I summon thee. Speak! Let me see thy face.
**Who: The Evil Queen
**Source: ''[[Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]'' (1937)

* Mommy, look! Look over there!
**Who: Terk
**Source: ''[[Tarzan (1999 film)|Tarzan]]'' (1999)

*Run! It's the Zugor!
**Who: Tarzan
**Source: ''[[Tarzan II]]'' (2005)

*Boy, talk about your lucky puppet. I'd give anything if only I could become a real live boy like that Pinocchio. Aah!
**Who: Spot Helperman
**Source: ''[[Teacher's Pet (2004 film)|Teacher's Pet]]'' (2004)

* Fear, Treachery, Bloodlust. Thousands of years ago these were the forces that ruled our world. A world where prey were scared of predators. And predators had an uncontrollable, biological urge to maim, and maul, and... AAH! BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD! And death! Back then a world was divided in 2. Vicious Predator or Meat Prey.
**Who: Young Judy Hopps
**Source: ''[[Zootopia]]'' (2016)

===''[[Aladdin]]'' film series===
*Ah, salaam, and good evening to you, worthy friend. Please, please, come closer. [camera zooms in] Too close. A little too close. [camera zooms out a little bit] There. Welcome to Agrabah, city of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today. Come on down. Heh, heh. Look at this. Yes. Combination hookah and coffeemaker. Also makes julienne fries. Will not break. [taps it on table] will not… [it falls apart] It broke. Ohh! Look at this. [pulls out Tupperware] I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. [makes a raspberry sound] Ah, still good. Wait, don’t go! I can see that you’re only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think, then, you would be most rewarded to consider this. [pulls out the lamp] Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man’s life. A young man who, liked this lamp, was more than what he seemed. The diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? [pours sand from the lamp into his hand] It begins on a dark night… [throws the sand into the sky, forming a starry nightscape] where a dark man waits with a dark purpose.
**Who: Peddler
**Source: ''[[Aladdin (1992 Disney film)|Aladdin]]'' (1992)

*This night has been quite rewarding.
**Who: Thief #1
**Source: ''[[The Return of Jafar]]'' (1994)

*Oooh, in all my years, never have I seen the streets so full of bustle and hustle and assorted commotion.
**Who: Peddler
**Source: ''[[Aladdin and the King of Thieves]]'' (1996)

===''Bambi'' film series===
*Wake up!
**Who: Thumper
**Source: ''[[Bambi]]'' (1942)

*Mother?!
**Who: Bambi
**Source: ''[[Bambi II]]'' (2006)

===''Barbie'' film series===
*You almost had it, Kelly. Here, let me show you.
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''[[Barbie in the Nutcracker]]'' (2001)

*Okay! Ready, Freddy!
**Who: Kelly
**Source: ''[[Barbie as Rapunzel]]'' (2002)

*What's wrong, Kelly?
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''[[Barbie of Swan Lake]]'' (2003)

*Long ago and far away, in a village high on a mountaintop, something amazing was occurring. At the very same moment, two identical baby girls were born! One, a baby princess.The king and queen were overjoyed. Princess Anneliese would have only the finest. The second baby girl was named Erika. Her parents loved her every bit as much as the king and queen loved the princess, but they worried. They were so poor. How would they be able to care for their little daughter? Many years passed. The princess learned her royal duties, while Erika worked long and hard as a seamstress for the spiteful Madame Carp. With lives so different, it wasn't surprising that the princess and the pauper never met. But fate decreed they would. It all started at the royal mine, where the miners informed the queen the gold had run out. The widowed queen was shocked. The kingdom was now bankrupt. How was she going to take care of her people? If only she could call on her trusted adviser Preminger, but he was away on a long journey. She needed to do something quickly to save the kingdom, but what? And then it struck her. Nearby lived a rich young king who was seeking a wife.
**Who: Barbie (narrating)
**Source: ''[[Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper]]'' (2004)

*Just through the rainbow, from the world we know, lies... Fairytopia.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Barbie: Fairytopia]]'' (2005)

*Annika? Happy Birthday!
**Who: Queen
**Source: ''[[Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus]]'' (2005)

*Just through the rainbow, from the world we know, lies... Fairytopia. In this land there lived a fairy named Elina, a fairy without wings. More than anything Elina wished she could have wings and fly like everyone else. But when the evil Laverna, twin sister to Fairytopia ruler: The Enchantress, released a sickness into the air that killed the plants and took away the fairies power to fly. Only Elina have the strength to leave her home and look for help. She took her puffball, Bibble. And sought me, the Guardian Fairy Azura. But when I was kidnapped by Laverna's henchmen, Fungi. Elina knew she had to stop Laverna on her own. On their way to Laverna's lair, Elina and Bibble received help from several new friends. But in the end, Elina had to face Laverna on her own. And though Laverna offered Elina what she wanted most in the world... Elina stood up for what was right and fought back against Laverna, saving Fairytopia. Even though it meant she wouldn't get her wings, or so she got. For back at the Magic Meadow, the Enchantress herself came to Elina and to thank her for her bravery, the Enchantress bestowed the most wonderful gift imaginable — Elina's very own wings.
**Who: Azura
**Source: ''Barbie Fairytopia: Mermaidia'' (2006)

*Wow... that was an impressive band practice.
**Who: Kevin
**Source: ''The Barbie Diaries'' (2006)

*And so, as a chief emissary of the majestic kingdom of Bulovia, which is known for its abundance of pears, potatoes and peasants, I am authorised by my courageous king and my magnificent queen to hereby invite the princesses of King Randolph to a royal gala. We have invited princesses from far and wide to this extraordinary ball.
**Who: Ambassador
**Source: ''[[Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses]]'' (2006)

*Just through the rainbow, from the world we know, lies... Fairytopia. This land of peace and harmony is ruled by the gracious Enchantress, and her Guardian Fairies. Yet, when the Enchantress's evil sister Laverna poisoned Fairytopia with a sickness that took away the fairies' power to fly, she was able to kidnap all seven guardians. Even the Enchantress fell under her sister's spell. All would have been lost were it were not for the efforts of Elina, a wingless fairy who was unaffected by the sickness. Thanks to Elena's bravery, Laverna was banished to the Bogs of the Hinterlands. And Elina was rewarded with the greatest gifts imaginable: a necklace from the Enchantress herself, and her very own wings. Elina loved her new wings. But later, when her friend Nalu the Merprince was kidnapped by Max, Laverna's top Fungus, Elina faced a difficult choice. Yet, to save her friend... she did exactly that. Elina and the mermaid Nori rescued Nalu, and discovered a True Self Berry that helped Elina regain her wings. The berry had quite a different effect on Laverna. Elina went home to the Magic Meadow, happy to return to a simple fairy life... or so she thought.
**Who: Azura
**Source: ''Barbie Fairytopia: Magic of the Rainbow'' (2007)

*What a night! What a storm!
**Who: Sagi
**Source: ''[[Barbie as the Island Princess]]'' (2007)

*Bibble, what are you doing?
**Who: Elina
**Source: ''Barbie: Mariposa'' (2008)

*I really like that, Teresa. And for the bridge, let's try E-flat for two bars, then D-flat then back to A-flat.
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''Barbie and the Diamond Castle'' (2008)

*And this is the bedroom I've prepared for you.
**Who: Servent
**Source: ''Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale'' (2010)

*Tracey Clinger here, at the premiere of Barbie's latest movie, where top stylists Taylor and Carrie are sharing their secrets for dressing a superstar. Taylor? Carrie?
**Who: Tracey Clinger
**Source: ''[[Barbie: A Fairy Secret]]'' (2011)

*Emily! I hope you’re doing your homework and not just watching that parade!
**Who: Mrs. Willows
**Source: ''[[Barbie: Princess Charm School]]'' (2011)

*Dakotah arms! Casey where are you looking? Gabrielle smile! And a one two three and three and four! Head up Casey watch the audience! Now on the beat! Perfect! Head direction girls lean you're arms and a two a three and four!
**Who:
**Source: ''Barbie in The Pink Shoes'' (2013)

*Princess Alexa? Princess Alexa? Princess Alexa, are you in there?
**Who: Brookhurst
**Source: ''[[Barbie and the Secret Door]]'' (2014)

*We're almost there, princess!
**Who: Phillip
**Source: ''Barbie in Rock 'n Royals'' (2015)

*Once upon a time, in a distant galaxy... the stars would twinkle and twirl in the sky... keeping the galaxy in bright harmony with their light... but an ancient prophecy told of a time when the harmony would be broken. The stars and planets would slow their dance, and disappear... leaving a galaxy of darkness. Yet, there was hope... as the prophecy also foretold of one who could also restore harmony to the stars. One with the heart of a leader. Mm, not him. Or him... but try telling a king that. Even though the king had tried—and failed many times over—he was certain he was the one who would return the stars to their shimmering glory. He just needed a little help... so he recruited a team with special skills to join a mission to save the stars.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Barbie: Star Light Adventure]]'' (2016)

*Are you excited, Rookie? We're almost there!
**Who: Stacie
**Source: ''Barbie &amp; Her Sisters in A Puppy Chase'' (2016)

*You guys ready? I finally finished the level I was working on. Can't wait to see what you think!
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''Barbie: Video Game Hero'' (2017)

*Whoa! What is that? Could that be one of those gemstone dolphins? I've never seen one of those! Boys, let's bring him in!
**Who: Pete
**Source: ''Barbie Dolphin Magic'' (2017)

*Pretty isn't it, Morning Star? I love being alone up here. Makes me feel... like me.
**Who: Amelia
**Source: ''Barbie Princess Adventure'' (2020)

*Move it, buddy! Let's go!
**Who: Cab driver
**Source: ''Barbie: Big City, Big Dreams'' (2021)

===''Beauty and the Beast'' film series===
*Once upon a time in a far away land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned to old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances for beauty was found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous Beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which will bloom until his twenty-first year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a Beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a Beast?
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|Beauty and the Beast]]'' (1991)

*Who-oa!
**Who: Chip
**Source: ''[[Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas]]'' (1997)

*Chandeliera. You look radiant. Together. You and Lumiere  will be the perfect lightwill be the perfect light.
**Who: Cogsworth
**Source: ''[[Beauty and the Beast: Belle's Magical World]]'' (1998)

===''Bratz'' film series===
*Mmm! Funk-a-lish!
**Who: Cloe
**Source: ''Bratz: Starrin' &amp; Stylin'' (2004)

*Let’s move it people, our concert’s in less than one hour and this car’s gotta look good!
**Who: Sasha
**Source: ''Bratz Rock Angelz'' (2005)

*People, this rocks! I can't believe I'm here! This must be a dream. How did this happen? It's an incredible story, so that's no surprise. It was the last day of school — we couldn't wait for summer to start because my BFFs and I had all been accepted to an elite performing arts camp, Camp Starshine.
**Who: Sasha
**Source: ''Bratz Girlz Really Rock'' (2008)

===''[[w:Finding Nemo (franchise)|Finding Nemo]]'' film series===
* Wow!
**Who: Marlin
**Source: ''[[Finding Nemo]]'' (2003)

* Hi, I'm Dory. I suffer from short-term remembory loss.
**Who: Baby Dory
**Source: ''[[Finding Dory]]'' (2016)

===''Care Bears'' film series===
*Bless all the people young and old, for they are yours to love and hold, and bless Mr. and Mrs. Cherrywood, amen.
**Who: The Orphanage Children
**Source: ''[[The Care Bears Movie]]'' (1985)

*Oh, my!
**Who: True Heart Bear
**Source: ''[[Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation]]'' (1986)

*Bedtime Bear, time to wake up!
**Who: Wish Bear
**Source: ''Care Bears: Journey to Joke-a-lot'' (2004)

*If wishes were fishes and soup bowls were dishes, I'd make something delicious for you! (humming)
**Who: Wish Cub
**Source: ''The Care Bears' Big Wish Movie'' (2005)

*Whoa...it's finally gonna open! Hey, everybody, look! Whoo-Hoo World is opening tomorrow!
**Who: Wish Bear
**Source: ''Care Bears: Oopsy Does It!'' (2007)

*Oh, they're taking their seats! Its almost showtime! Grumpy, hurry!
**Who: Oopsy Bear
**Source: ''Care Bears: To the Rescue'' (2010)

*Share, it's too windy! Get inside!
**Who: Harmony Bear
**Source: ''Care Bears: The Giving Festival'' (2010)

===''[[w:Cars (franchise|Cars]]'' film series===
* Okay. Here we go. Focus. Speed, I am speed. One winner, forty-two losers. I eat losers for breakfast. Breakfast. Hm, maybe I should've had breakfast. A little breaky could be good for me -- nonono, stay focused. Speed. I'm faster than fast, quicker than quick. I am Lightning!
**Who: Lightning McQueen
**Source: ''[[Cars (film)|Cars]]'' (2006)

* This is Agent Leland Turbo. I have a flash transmission for Agent Finn McMissile. Finn, my cover's been compromised. Everything's gone pear-shaped. You won't believe what I've found out here. Transmitting my grids now. Good luck!
**Who: Leland Turbo
**Source: ''[[Cars 2]]'' (2011)

*Okay. Here we go. Focus. Speed, I am speed. One winner, forty-two losers. I eat losers for breakfast. ...Did I used to say that?
**Who: Lightning McQueen
**Source: ''[[Cars 3]]'' (2017)

*What's taking this guy so long? Is he really as good as they say he is?
**Who: Bravo
**Source: ''[[Planes (film)|Planes]]'' (2013)

*Look at them go, into the final lap!
**Who: Brent Mustangburger
**Source: ''[[Planes: Fire and Rescue]]'' (2014)

===''[[w:Cinderella (franchise)|Cinderella]]'' film series===
* Once upon a time in a faraway land, there was a tiny kingdom; peaceful, prosperous, and rich in romance and tradition. Here in a stately chateau, there lived a widowed gentleman, and his little daughter, Cinderella. Although he was a kind and devoted father, and gave his beloved child every luxury and comfort, still, he felt she needed a mother's care. And so he married again, choosing for his second wife, a woman of good family, with two daughters just Cinderella's age, by name, Anastasia and Drizella. It was upon the untimely death of this good man, however, that the stepmother's true nature was revealed: cold, cruel, and bitterly jealous of Cinderella's charm and beauty, she was grimly determined to forward the interests of her own two awkward daughters. Thus, as time went by, the chateau fell into disrepair, for the family fortunes were squandered upon the vain and selfish stepsisters while Cinderella was abused, humiliated, and finally forced to become a servant in her own house. And yet, through it all, Cinderella remained ever gentle and kind, for with each dawn she found new hope that someday her dreams of happiness would come true.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Cinderella (1950 film)|Cinderella]]'' (1950)

* Come on, Gus-Gus. Faster!
**Who: Jaq
**Source: ''[[Cinderella II: Dreams Come True]]'' (2002)

* Do you remember the story of a girl who lived a life of cinders, and how she found true love because she kept a beautiful dream in her heart? Of course, it helped that she had mouse friends who could sew and a Fairy Godmother who could do wonders with pumpkins. Well, that girl is me.
**Who: [[w:Cinderella (Disney character)|Cinderella]]
**Source: ''[[Cinderella III: A Twist in Time]]'' (2007)

===''[[w:Hotel Transylvania (franchise)|Hotel Transylvania]]'' film series===
* Peek a boo.
**Who: Count Dracula
**Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania]]'' (2012)

* Welcome! Welcome!
**Who: Count Dracula
**Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania 2]]'' (2015)

* Budapest! Budapest is the next stop. Budapest! Budapest is the next stop. Budapest! Tickets ladies.
**Who: England Conducter
**Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation]]'' (2018) 

* Here's to Hotel Transylvania!
**Who: Jonathan Loughran
**Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania: Transformania]]'' (2022)

===''[[w:How to Train Your Dragon|How to Train Your Dragon]]'' film series===
* This is Berk. It's twelve days north of Hopeless, and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. My village. In a word, sturdy. And it's been here for seven generations, but, every single building is new. We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. You see, most places have mice or mosquitoes. We have... dragons.
**Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
**Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon (film)|How to Train Your Dragon]]'' (2010)

* This... is Berk. The best kept secret this side of, well, anywhere. Granted, it may not look like much, but this wet heap of rock packs more than a few surprises. Life here is amazing, just not for the faint of heart. See, where most folks enjoy hobbies like whittling or needlepoint, we Berkians prefer a little something we like to call, Dragon Racing!
**Who: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
**Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon 2]]'' (2014)

* Quiet!
**Who: Ivar the Witless
**Source: ''[[How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World]]'' (2019)

===''[[w:Ice Age (franchise)|Ice Age]]'' film series===
* Well, why not call it &quot;The Big Chill&quot; or &quot;The Nippy Era&quot;? I'm just sayin', how do we know it's an ice age?
**Who: Freaky Mammal 1
**Source: ''[[Ice Age (2002 film)|Ice Age]]'' (2002)

* Oh, boy! This global warming is killing me!
**Who: Male Palaeotherium
**Source: ''[[Ice Age: The Meltdown]]'' (2006)

* It's happening!
**Who: [[w:List of Ice Age characters#Manny|Manny]]
**Source: ''[[Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs]]'' (2009)

* YEE-HAW!
**Who: Buck Wild
**Source: ''[[Ice Age: Continental Drift]]'' (2012)

* The universe: A vast expanse of space and matter. It includes all that we see, and all that we know. Since the beginning of time, we have wondered how it came to be. A gloriously orchestrated plan? A chance series of events? Or something much, much... dumber?
**Who: Neil deBuck Weasel
**Source: ''[[Ice Age: Collision Course]]'' (2016)

===''[[Kim Possible]]'' film series===
*Who invited him back here?!
**Who: Bonnie Rockwaller
**Source: ''[[Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time]]'' (2003)

*Target: Nakasumi-san.
**Who: Shego
**Source: ''[[Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama]]'' (2005)

===''[[w:Kung Fu Panda (franchise)|Kung Fu Panda]]'' film series===
* Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.
**Who: [[w:Po (Kung Fu Panda)|Po]]
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda]]'' (2008)

* Long ago, in ancient China, the peacocks ruled over Gongmen City. They brought great joy and prosperity to the city, for they had invented fireworks. But their son, Lord Shen, saw darker power in the fireworks. What had brought color and joy could also bring darkness and destruction. Shen's troubled parents consulted a soothsayer. She foretold that if Shen continued down this dark path, he would be defeated by a warrior of black and white. The young lord set out to change his fate, but what he did next... only sealed it. Shen returned to his parents full of pride, but in their faces, he only saw horror. He was banished from the city forever. But Shen swore revenge. Someday, he would return, and all of China would bow at his feet.
**Who: Soothsayer
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda 2]]'' (2011)

*Inner peace... inner peace. Itchy nose. Finally, inner peace.
**Who: Oogway
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda 3]]'' (2016)

===''Monsters Inc'' film series===
*Goodnight, sweetheart.
**Who: Simulation Mother
**Source: ''[[Monsters Inc.]]'' (2001)

*I scared you!
**Who: Kid 1
**Source: ''[[Monsters University]]'' (2013)

===''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' film series===
*Hoo-wee! Your very first princess summit! You must be over the moon, Twilight.
**Who: Applejack
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]'' (2013)

*That was barely worth the effort, Adagio. I'm tired of fast food. I need a meal.
**Who: Aria Blaze
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks]]'' (2014)

*I got your text, Rainbow Dash! Did something come through the portal? Is Equestrian magic on the loose? Did Twilight come back with a problem that only we can solve?!
**Who: Sunset Shimmer
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Friendship Games]]'' (2015)

*No... It can't be... It can't be true...
**Who: Human Twilight Sparkle
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Legend of Everfree]]'' (2016)

===''[[w:Toy Story (franchise)|Toy Story]]'' film series===
* Alright everyone! This is a stick up! Don't anybody move!
**Who: Andy Davis (impression of Mr. Potato Head)
**Source: ''[[Toy Story]]'' (1995)

* Buzz Lightyear Mission Log: all signs point to this location of Zurg's Fortress. But there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.
**Who: Video Game Buzz Lightyear
* Oh no! NOOOOO! No, no, no, no, no! I'm never gonna defeat Zurg!
**Who: Rex
**Source: ''[[Toy Story 2]]'' (1999)

* Ha! Ha! Ha! Money! Money! Money! Hey!
**Who: Mr Potato Head
**Source: ''[[Toy Story 3]]'' (2010)

* WOW! It is raining cats and dogs out there! I hope they make it back all right.
**Who: Jessie
**Source: ''[[Toy Story 4]]'' (2019)

===''[[Winnie the Pooh]]'' film series ===
*This could be the room of any small boy, but it just happens to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. Like most small boys, Christopher Robin has toy animals to play with, and they all live together in a wonderful world of make-believe. But his best friend is a bear called Winnie the Pooh, or Pooh for short. Now Pooh had some very unusual adventures, and they all happened right here in the Hundred Acre Wood. 
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''[[The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh]]'' (1977)

*Hello, there!
** Who: Tigger
**Source: ''[[Piglet's Big Movie]]'' (2003)

*Once upon the last day of a golden summer, there was a boy... and bear. The boy, whom we shall meet in a moment, was called Christopher Robin. The bear was called Winnie the Pooh. And together they had many grand adventures in a remarkable place called the Hundred Acre Wood. But the grandest and most extraordinary of all their adventures was still to begin.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin]]'' (1997)

* This is one of my favorite once-upon-a-times, although I'm not quite sure which time it was once upon. But it had been so nice and summery in the Hundred Acre Wood, and the sunshine was as warm as a blanket. And the streams were gurgling happily. As happily as a tumbly full of honey... (laughs) ...which is very happy. But all that changed when... the stranger came.
** Who: Winnie the Pooh
** Source: ''[[Pooh's Heffalump Movie]]'' (2005)

*This could be the room of any young boy, but it just happens to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. Now,like any small child Christopher Robin had many toy animals to play with, but his very best friend was a bear, named Winnie The Pooh. Together, Pooh and his friends shared many grand adventures. But one of their most unusual began on an early autumn morning. It was that time of year again. That magical time when leaves fall, and pumpkins grin, and Spookables roam free. Halloween had come to the Hundred Acre Wood.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie]]'' (2006)

* Now, this might be the room of any small boy but it just happens to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. And, like most small boys, Christopher Robin had toy animals to play with. And together they had many remarkable adventures... in an enchanted place... called the Hundred Acre Wood. But of all his animal friends, Christopher Robin's Very best friend... was a bear called Winnie the Pooh.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[The Tigger Movie]]'' (2000)

* This could be the room of any small boy. But, in fact, it's not. It is the room of one young boy in particular named Christopher Robin. Now, Christopher Robin has a very active imagination, not to mention the uncanny ability to collect things. Big things. Small things. Sticky things. But his favorite things are his stuffed animals. Ah! There they are now. A charming and eccentric cast of characters. And his best friend among them is a bear named Winnie the Pooh. Or Pooh for short. Together they had many unusual adventures, that all happened right here in the Hundred Acre Wood.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh (film)|Winnie the Pooh]]'' (2011)

*Welcome to the Hundred Acre Wood, where voices come together in joyful celebration. And the seasons gently turn like pages in a book. A time of giving shared with good friends and a silly old bear named Winnie the Pooh.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: Seasons of Giving]]'' (1999)

*Merry Christmas Eve, Pooh.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: A Very Merry Pooh Year]]'' (2002)

* This could be the room of any small boy. But it just happens to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. Like any small child, Christopher Robin had toy animals to play with. Together they shared many exciting and unusual adventures. Oh. Uh... Huh? Uh, where was I? Oh, yes. They shared many exciting and unusual... Huh? What is going on here? Hello! Is anyone there?
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''[[Winnie the Pooh: Springtime With Roo]]'' (2004)

===''[[Winx Club]]'' film series ===
* Once upon a time, in the magical dimension far far away, there was a normal Earth girl, who discovered she was a fairy and a princess. Her life was changed forever into a fairy tale, a story of courage, friendship, and adventure. It is an enchanted story but one without a happily ever after because she has not been able to write the ending... until now. (Dubbing Brothers)
* In our lives, we all face great challenges. It is through these tests, that our true selves are revealed. Who are our real friends? Who should we trust? Who believes in us? This is the story of a strong-willed fairy, who set out to answer these most difficult of questions. And encounter the biggest adventure of her life. And the greatest evil that has ever been known. (Atlas Oceanic)
** Who: Bartelby
** Source: ''[[Winx Club: The Secret of the Lost Kingdom]]'' (2007)

*Welcome to the famous planet Magix, where girls come from every corner of the universe to discover its many secrets. It is here at the renowned Alfea School that young fairies learn and perfect their powers. Potionology, Biotransformation and magic physics are just a few examples of the many courses offered here. Alfea is run by the acquaint Headmistress Faragonda. Just a few kilometers away lies the notorious Cloud Tower School for Witches. Run by Headmistress Griffin, this school offers courses on nasty spells and cruel curses. If you're a kind, warm-hearted girl who'd love to have a set of glittery wings then Alfea is just the school for you. But if you're leaning more towards boiling cauldron and macabre apparel, Cloud Tower will have a flying broom and pointy hat waiting for you. Let's get back to our live coverage at Alfea, where both schools were just about to pick up a new school year. Right behind me on the VIP platform, no one's missing. And Alfea's most famous alumni are here too. The courageous and spunky Winx Club. Name: The Winx Club. Profession: Guardian Fairies of the Magic Dimension. Relationship Status: Super taken. They saved the world from the threat of the Ancestral Witches and they brought Sparks back to life. A kingdom found its princess, and that princess found her parents. Bloom's destiny is to become Queen and to sit on throne of Sparks, or Eraklyon if she marries Sky. We're here at &quot;It's Magix&quot; have met Bloom's parents - Queen Mariam and King Oritel. (Dubbing Brothers)
*Welcome to &quot;It's Magix!&quot;, and all the latest on the Magic Dimension's royalist event, the Princess Ball! We've confirmed all the most exciting couples in the Magic Dimension will be there, except for Princess Bloom and Prince Sky. We spoke to Bloom's parents earlier today. Your majesties, any word on whether Sky is asked to Bloom to the Princess Ball? (Atlas Oceanic)
**Who: Magix reporter
**Source: ''[[Winx Club 3D: Magical Adventure]]'' (2010)

*Ah, finally!
**Who: Icy
**Source: ''[[Winx Club: The Mystery of the Abyss]]'' (2014)

===''Wreck-It Ralph'' film series===
*My name's Ralph, and I'm a bad guy. Uh, let's see, I'm 9 feet tall, I weigh 643 pounds, got a bit of a temper on me
**Who: Wreck-It Ralph
**Source: ''[[Wreck-It Ralph]]'' (2012)

*Okay, my turn, my turn! Um, I got one.
**Who: Wreck-It Ralph
**Source: ''[[Ralph Breaks the Internet]]'' (2018)

== Animated specials ==
===''The Fairly OddParents'' TV movies===
*No, no. I'll never tell you my secret.
**Who: Timmy Turner
**Source: ''The Fairly OddParents: Abra-Catastrophe'' (2003)

*He's getting on us!
**Who: Future A.J.
**Source: ''The Fairly OddParents: Channel Chasers'' (2004)

*Oh Flooky! Up ahead! The bridge is out! We don't have much time.
**Who: Flunky
**Source: ''The Fairly OddParents: School's Out!: The Musical'' (2005)

*Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is your airplane speaking. If you look off the right side of my armpit, you'll see we're directly over Dimmsdale Park.
**Who: Wanda
**Source: ''The Fairly OddParents: Fairly Odd Baby'' (2008)

===''[[The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour Specials]]''===
*Well, future failures of America, I hope you're all prepared for tomorrow's big science fair. This year's theme is... transportation.
**Who: Denzel Crocker
**Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour'' (2004)

*On my mark, Carl. Walk under the ladder... now!
**Who: Jimmy Neutron
**Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 2: When Nerds Collide'' (2006)

*There, my Interdimensional Portal update's done. And I couldn't have done it without the help of my two best friends.
**Who: Jimmy Neutron
**Source: ''Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 3: The Jerkinators'' (2006)

=== Mattel presentations ===
*That was amazing! You guys rocked!
**Who: Barbie
**Source: ''My Scene: Jammin' in Jamaica'' (2004)

*Whoo-hoo! Yeah! This place is too cool! Madison's dad has to let us have Chelsea's surprise party here next week!
**Who: Delancy
**Source: ''My Scene: Masquerade Madness'' (2004)

*The magazines are awesome, the ice cream is molto bene, and what's really cool, everyone walks everywhere over there! Which would explain why Italians make such good shoes!
**Who: Polly Pocket
**Source: ''Polly Pocket: Lunar Eclipse'' (2003)

*Sorry I had to keep my news on the down-low all day, but I didn't want you to be distracted during school.
**Who: Polly Pocket
**Source: ''Polly Pocket: 2 Cool at the Pocket Plaza'' (2005)

=== ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' specials ===
*To the right! To the right! To the left! To the left! Now up! Now up! Bring it down! Spin it around! Wash that car like you mean it! Come on!
**Who: Human Pinkie Pie
**Source: ''Dance Magic'' (2017)

*It is almost time.
**Who: Stalwart Stallion
**Source: ''Movie Magic'' (2017)

*Those girls!
**Who: Juniper Montage
**Source: ''Mirror Magic'' (2017)

*Excuse me.
**Who: Wallflower Blush
**Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Forgotten Friendship'' (2018)

*Experience the world like you’ve never seen it before at the one, the only...Equestria Land! No, no, stop! CUT! CUT!!!
**Who: Vignette Valencia
**Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rollercoaster of Friendship'' (2018)

*SPRING BREAAAAK!!
**Who: Human Pinkie Pie
**Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Spring Breakdown'' (2019)

*Starswirled Music Festival, we have arrived!
**Who: Sunset Shimmer
**Source: ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Sunset's Backstage Pass'' (2020)

===''Rankin/Bass''===
*If I lived to be 100, I'll never be able to forget that big snowstorm a couple of years ago. The weather closed in and.... well, you might not believe it, but the world almost missed Christmas. Oh, excuse me! Call me Sam. What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a talking snowman before? Nice around here, isn't it? I call it Christmastown, better known as the North Pole. The Christmas Tree Forest. Yep. Here's where we grew them. Nice place to live around here, you know. Christmas seals. Of course, the number one citizens up here are the Clauses; Santa and the Missus. They live right over there. First castle on the left. Matter of fact, the only castle on the left.
**Who: Sam the Snowman
**Source: ''[[Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (TV special)|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]'' (1964)

*I suppose it all started with the snow. You see, it's a very special kind of snow. A snow to make the happy happier and the giddy even giddier. A snow to make a homecoming homier and natural enemies friends, naturally. For it was the first snow of the season. And as any child can tell you, there's a certain magic to the very first snow... especially when it falls on the day before Christmas. For when the first snow is also a Christmas snow, well, something wonderful is bound to happen.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Frosty the Snowman (TV special)|Frosty the Snowman]]'' (1969)

*Pass the snow tire!
**Who: A child
**Source: ''[[Frosty's Winter Wonderland]]'' (1976)

*And it all began on that same foggy winter's night.
**Who: Father Time
**Source: ''[[Rudolph's Shiny New Year]]'' (1976)

*Hey, Frosty!
**Who: Rudolph
**Source: ''[[Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July]]'' (1979)

*Some folks say if you really want to see the country, take a bus. Or hop a train. Ride a bike. Me, I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy. Stick to what I know: snowflakes. I know it's not for everyone, but as long as you pack light, I mean, and wear at least three layers of undies, it's a lovely way to spend the winter.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Frosty Returns]]'' (1992)

===''Thomas and Friends''===
*Summertime is always beautiful on the Island of Sodor. The water sparkles in the sun, and beautiful flowers blossom for everyone. It is a busy time for all the engines, they collect lots of vacationers from the docks and show them all the splendid sights. James shows them the seaside, Emily shows them the water, and Thomas shows them the Sodor Suspension Bridge. And the bridge is one of the vacationers' favorite sites. And each night when the work is done, Gordon, Henry, James, Edward, Percy, and Thomas go back to their home at Tidmouth Sheds. The sheds are where they rest their wheels, cool their boilers and talk about the day's adventures. The sheds are the engines' home they are warm and snug, and most of all they are a cozy place to sleep. One morning, Sir Topham Hatt came to Tidmouth sheds. He had a very important announcement to make.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Calling All Engines'' (2005)

*Sodor Day was coming to the Island of Sodor. Thomas and James were very excited. There would be picnics all over the island, a magnificent brass band, and the biggest carnival Sodor had ever seen. All the engines were busy, and everyone was excited. Sodor Day was the island's grandest celebration. Thomas and James were racing to the wharf. Whoever arrived first would be given a special special.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''The Great Discovery''

*It was summer on Sodor. The sky was bright blue, the fields were full of flowers, and the birds sang sweetly. As thomas filled up with water, he felt very happy. Suddenly, there was a whoosh and a whizz and a clackety clap, as a streak of silver roared by on the track!
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Hero of the Rails'' (2009)

*The Island of Sodor is a world of wonder. There are places and faces that are old and new, there are bridges and tunnels that engines puff through. There are hilltops and cliff to climb and explore, there are rivers and railways and much much more. All on the Island of Sodor. There was great excitement on the island. A brand new search and rescue center was being built. The engines had never heard of anything quite so special. They knew it was important.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Misty Island Rescue'' (2010)

*On the Island of Sodor, it had been a long hot summer. The sun was shining brightly, the sea sparkled blue, and the days were long and lazy. Thomas's steam floated fluffy and white against the cloudless sky. He chuffed cheerfully around the corner and gasped. The bright blue sky was turning black, and smoggy smoke rose from the tracks! There was only one thing it could possibly be...
*Fire!
**Who 1: The narrator
**Who 2: Thomas
**Source: ''Day of the Diesels'' (2011)

*It was a busy day on the Island of Sodor. At the Blue Mountain Quarry, the narrow gauge engines were working hard.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Blue Mountain Mystery'' (2012)

*It was a beautiful day on the Island of Sodor. Thomas and Percy were busy shunting cars at Brendam docks.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''King of the Railway'' (2013)

*It was a bright sunny day, and the Island of Sodor is bustling. The engines were carrying passengers and goods up and down every line on Sir Topham Hatt's railway, except Thomas's branch line, which was closed for repairs to a damaged bridge. Instead of working on his branchline, Thomas had been sent to the Sodor China Clay Pits to work with Bill and Ben.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Tale of the Brave'' (2014)

*Express coming through!
*A long time ago on the Island of Sodor, there was a little railway known as the North Western. The smallest engine working on the main line was Edward. He helped with shunting cars and coaches in the yard for the larger engines. The biggest engine on the railway was Gordon. He loved pulling the express, but he didn't much care for some of his other jobs.
**Who 1: Gordon
**Who 2: The narrator
**Source: ''The Adventure Begins'' (2015)

*It was a bright sunny day on the Island of Sodor. Thomas the Tank Engine was working on his branchline his faithful coaches, Annie and Clarabel.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure'' (2015)

*It was a bright clear day on the Island of Sodor, and Thomas was pulling the local -- the slow train that stops at every station along the main line from Knapford to Vickerstown.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''The Great Race'' (2016)

*The Island of Sodor is the home of the North Western Railway, with engines of all shapes and sizes, working hard to deliver goods and passengers to their destinations. There are branch lines that run along the coast of the island, serving the docks, the fishing villages and the seaside towns. There are branch lines that run to the farms, quarries and ancient castles of the island's heartland. And there is the main line, which runs all the way from Knapford on the west coast of the island, to Vicarstown, in the east. The line continues over the Vicarstown Bridge, where it connects to the mainland beyond. One day, Henry was pulling a very important goods train on his way to the mainland.
**Who: The narrator
**Source: ''Journey Beyond Sodor'' (2017)

*Oh dear, Thomas. That must be too many cars for a little tank engine like you. Why don't you ask another engine to help you?
**Who: Gordon
**Source: ''Big World! Big Adventures!'' (2018)

=== ''Winx Club'' specials===
*Bloom, honey? Time to get up! You're gonna be late, Bloom.
**Who: Vanessa
**Source: ''Winx Club: The Fate of Bloom'' (2011)

*Bloom lives a quiet life in Gardenia, until the day she finds out that she's a fairy. She leaves Earth to study at the Alfea College for Fairies in the Magic Dimension. There, she finds new friends and together, they become the Winx Club. But she is also challenged by the Trix, three evil witches, in a terrible battle. Bloom defeats the Trix by transforming into a fairy for the first time.
*Bloom! Can you hear me?
**Who 1: Narrator
**Who 2: Daphne
**Source: ''Winx Club: Revenge of the Trix'' (2011)

*Bloom finds her dreams haunted by the mysterious nymph named Daphne. And by visions of her own fiery past, her parents tell her that she is adopted. And she finds out that Sky is engaged to Princess Diaspro. Bloom is determined to discover all she can about her birth family, but the Trix are equally determined to get Bloom's power. They follow Bloom home to Gardenia and take her power: The Dragon Flame.
*Bloom... Bloom, wake up!
**Who 1: Narrator
**Who 2: Mike
**Source: ''Winx Club: The Battle for Magix'' (2011)

*Armed with the power of the Dragon Flame, the Trix aim to conquer all of Magix. The schools, even Cloud Tower, unite to fight them. The Winx and Sky are determined to help Bloom get her powers back. But it's only with the help of her ghostly sister, Daphne, that Bloom recovers the Dragon Flame. In a final battle, Bloom and the Winx defeat the Trix. With order restored, the witches are imprisoned in Lightrock Monastery.
*Isn't it great to have everything back to normal?
**Who 1: Narrator
**Who 2: Sky
**Source: ''Winx Club: The Shadow Phoenix'' (2011)
[[Category:First lines|Animated films]]</text>
      <sha1>j2kr6aqvygr4gv2adl34vjzhgdlfw3z</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Ann Magnuson</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:43:16Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="3153" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Early 80's New York- Ann Magnuson (3961850199).jpg|thumb| These people who are the most fascinated with violence are the people who live the most privileged, cushy lives … They tend to be college-educated dweebs who worship [[William Burroughs]]. That's so fucking boring.]]
'''[[w:Ann Magnuson|Ann Magnuson]]''' (born [[4 January]] [[1956]]) is an American actress, performance artist, and nightclub performer.

== Quotes ==

* I hate these whiny middle-class kids co-opting people's real suffering  … Videos ripping off news photography of people in the Third World! I mean, we live like czars. … These people who are the most fascinated with violence are the people who live the most privileged, cushy lives … They tend to be college-educated dweebs who worship [[William Burroughs]]. That's so fucking boring. When I see my friends lying in caskets and put in the ground, when you're really confronted with it, it's not cool, it's not [[Trent Reznor]]. I'd just like to make something beautiful. It's something to aspire to.
** On nihilistically violent films such as ''Se7en'' and music videos such as Smashing Pumpkins' &quot;''Bullet with Butterfly Wings'', as quoted in [https://archive.is/20070806223446/http://www.eye.net/eye/issue/issue_02.22.96/MUSIC/mf0222a.php &quot;Dreaming of Better Days : Ann Magnuson's apocalyptic cultural cocktail&quot; by Jason Anderson, in ''Eye Weekly'' (22 February 1996)]

* When you're friends with Lance, you kind of weave in and out of his life but I met him in 1978 when I got to New York City and was hanging out at CBGB's. I really think that Lance was responsible for getting me to New York because I watched ''[[w:An American Family|An American Family]]'' alone in the kitchen and none of my other family members were interested in it, and I was fascinated, as everybody my age was, by Lance and I really think that's what got me there. I immediately started hanging out at all the clubs that he hung out in, and I wanted to go to the places that I'd seen on television. … You know, I honestly can't remember the exact moment but I know I was dazzled, I was just this little hick from West Virginia and I was meeting a celebrity, an icon, somebody who had made it. 
** Comments after memorial services for [[w:Lance Loud|Lance Loud]], in an interview by Susan Raymond (26 January 2002), quoted in [https://www.pbs.org/lanceloud/memories/magnuson.html ''Lance Loud : A Death in An American Family'', Memories &amp; Tributes - Ann Magnuson]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*[http://www.annmagnuson.com/ Ann Magnuson official site]
*{{IMDb name|0005174}}
*[http://www.offoffoff.com/theater/2001/ravemom.php3 OffOffOff.com (Oct 20, 2001): &quot;Burning Woman&quot; (review of autobiographical show), by Robin Eisgrau]
*[http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,299358,00.html ''Entertainment Weekly'' #299 (Nov 3, 1995): &quot;10 Stupid Questions: Magnuson Force&quot;]

{{Authority control}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Magnuson, Ann}}
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:1956 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from West Virginia]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Descendants 3</title>
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    <id>218112</id>
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      <id>3148990</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T12:33:27Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="15900" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Descendants 3|Descendants 3]]''''' is a Disney Channel Original Movie and the third and final instalment in the ''[[Descendants (2015 film)|Descendants]]'' series, released in 2019. 
:''Directed by [[w:Kenny Ortega|Kenny Ortega]]. Written by [[w:Josann McGibbon|Josann McGibbon]] and Sara Parriott.''

== Mal ==
* Auradon. It's beautiful, isn't it? I'm Mal, daughter of Maleficent. And this is my home. It wasn't always. I was born on the Isle of the Lost, where all of the villains had been banished, locked away for good. That is until Prince Ben decided that their children should have a chance. And so, four villain kids, the V.K.'s, came to Auradon, including me. Long story short, Ben is the king now, I'm his girlfriend, and we are about to head back to the Isle to pick what will hopefully be a long line of new V.K.'s who get to come to Auradon and find their happily ever afters, too.

* ''(to Ben)'' I do not want to take away your dream because it was so beautiful and it's why I fell in love with you.
* ''(to Hades)'' You wanna make up for being a lousy dad?

== Evie ==
* I've already made like a thousand sketches of your wedding dress.
* We could try to be friends. Put our history behind us, and celebrate our differences.
* You are gonna rock that crown!

== Jay ==
* We can always go back to hating each other when this is over.
* Get off my bike, Hook!

== Ben ==
* ''(to Mal)'' I feel like I’ve known you my whole life and did I mention I'm in love with you.
* I love you Mal.
* I'm engaged!

== Hades ==
* I am a god! I don't belong here!
* That's my girl.
* ''(To the Aurodonians)'' When you guys try to destroy the world... it's an error in judgment. But when it's one of us... lock them up and throw away the key.
* Am I invited to the wedding?

== Uma ==
* So the good guy's the bad guy?
* ''(to Mal)'' If you think I trust you to save the world on your own, think again. This is a job for pirates!
* There's this thing that looks like a furry rock called a 'coconut', and fish so big you can dance on their backs,and they've been keeping it all for themselves.
* I don't know who's birthday it is, but I want this cake.
* I found her diary and boy did you wreck Audrey's life,she hangs out at fairy cottage you know we're the fairies hid her mum from your mum.
* How could anyone with this bed ever be unhappy?!
* ''(After realising Mal lied to her)'' Let's go find Gil and leave them all to rot.
* My plan!

== Audrey ==
* Looks like someone forgot to invite me. Well, don't be expecting Mal, she's uh...  not feeling herself. Does that make you sad?Oh  does it just ruin everything? You mindless  little drones! How could you forget what she did to us?! How could you forget that I was supposed to be your Queen?!
* I'm so tired of pretending, where's my happy ending?

== Dialogue ==
:'''Queen Leah''': A lifetime of plans... gone. Our family status gone. Audrey, you were supposed to be his Queen, and you let him slip through your fingers. Your mother could hold onto a prince in her sleep.
:'''Audrey''': Don't you think I feel bad enough already, Grammy?
:'''A.K. Kid''': Ben and Mal are the best. I'm so excited for Mal to be our Queen.
:'''Audrey''': You'd really rather have a V.K. on the throne than me? What is wrong with you people? What is wrong with everybody?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jay''': All bow to Her Royal Majesty!
:'''Carlos''': Oh, yes, her Royal Purple-ness!
:'''Mal''': ''(Smirking)'' Silence, you annoying peasants.
:'''Jay''': As you wish, my lady.
:'''Carlos''': Your Royal Crankiness.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Mal has accepted Ben's marriage proposal.]''
:'''Audrey''': Congratulations. You won him fair and square... Oh, wait, no, you didn't. You spelled Ben to destroy all of Auradon. Touching story for the grandkids.
:'''Mal''': Speaking of kids, we have some kids waiting on us. So... if you'll excuse me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Evil Audrey approaches Mal, wearing the Evil Queen's crown and carrying Maleficent's sceptre.]''
:'''Audrey''': I was hoping you were home.
:''(Mal looks shocked, but tries to laugh it off.)''
:'''Mal''': Is this a joke?... What are you doing with the crown and the sceptre?
:'''Audrey''':  Well, I wanted them, so I took them. You of all people should understand that, Mal.
:'''Mal''': Wait, Audrey, stop! Don't use that!
:'''Audrey''': I thought you liked spells.
:'''Mal''': Ok, Audrey, you're better...
:'''Audrey''': QUIET!
:'''Mal''': It's not a toy! It's dangerous!
:'''Audrey''':  I want to be dangerous! My life was perfect until you stole it... and then Auradon turned its back on me. Well, it's time for a little payback.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mal''': You abandoned me when I was a baby.
:'''Hades''': No. No, I left your mother. She's... she's not the easiest person to get a long with.
:'''Mal''': ''(Sarcastically)'' You think?
:'''Hades''': Well, you see? We have something in common already; we both hate your mother.
:'''Mal''': No. I don't hate my mother. She may be an evil lunatic, but at least she stuck around.
:'''Hades''': Oh! Boo-hoo. Wake up and smell the stink. You think you've had it rough? I used to be a god! I had an entire world which bore my name! And now I have nothing! And you have no idea what that feels like!
:'''Mal''': REALLY?! Because for 16 years I had nothing! And now... I have a whole world. But unless I get that ember it's game over!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Audrey has cursed Mal with an aging spell.]''
:'''Mal''': How bad is it?
:'''Evie''': You age beautifully.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ben''': ''(To a worker)'' Find out if anyone has seen Audrey... And find out if she has a list of demands.
:''(Audrey is seen standing behind Ben.)''
:'''Audrey''': Just one... I demand my life back. I have a proposition. I'll wake everybody up right now... under one... itty-bitty condition, Benny-boo. Make me your Queen... and we'll rule side by side.
:''(Ben looks at her in concern.)''
:'''Ben''': Did someone put a spell on you?
:''(Audrey looks surprised.)''
:'''Ben''': Just tell me who and...
:'''Audrey''': You'll what? Marry them? Most people get dumped because they aren't good enough. I wasn't bad enough. How do you like me now, Benny-boo? ''(Laughs and twirls around.)''
:'''Ben''': I like the old Audrey better. She wouldn't wanna hurt Auradon.... just give me the scepter.. and I'll forgive you.
:'''Audrey''': ''(Outraged)'' You'll forgive me?! I don't think so. Sleeping is too good for you! ''(Curses Ben.)'' Sleeping is too good for Auradon!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uma''': Look, since we're here, let's check the school.
:'''Mal''': No. Audrey went straight for the crown, so I think it's safe to assume that she's gonna go for Ben and his castle next. That's where we'll go.
:'''Uma''': Says who?
:'''Mal''': Says me.
:'''Uma''': Says you? And that's supposed to mean something to me?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uma''': I bet you lost some sleep thinking about me on the loose?
:'''Mal''': No. Dragons don't really lose sleep. I wonder what fried octopus tastes like.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Singing during the Night Falls.)''
:'''Mal''': This is my crew!
:'''Uma''': This is my squad!
:'''Mal''': This is my turf!
:'''Evie''': Oh, my gosh! Look guys, we got bigger fish to fry, put your differences aside, coz now we're on the same side. Till the night falls, everyone!
:'''All V.Ks''': We'll stay together till the battle is done.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The V.Ks have beaten Audrey's enchanted knights and are celebrating. Mal and Uma almost high-five, but then move over and celebrate with their respective friends. Evie looks disappointed.]''
:'''Evie''': Guys, come on. This was so great. We were a team. We worked together. Come on. Come on.
:''(She tries to encourage Mal and Uma to high-five, but they only look at her in annoyance.)''
:'''Evie''': You know what we should try? An ice breaker. You say something you really like about the other person. I'll start... Harry... love the accent. Now you go.
:'''Uma''': ''(To Mal)'' Is she always this perky?
:'''Evie''': It wasn't really your turn yet, but thank you!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uma''': Alright, where does this cheerleader bunk down? Even if she's not there, we might find some sort of clue.
:'''Evie''': Actually, she's still in the dorms.
:'''Mal''': You're right. Because of summer school.
:'''Harry''': What?! ''(Laughing)'' Summer school? Summer school? No wonder she wants revenge!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Audrey enchants the cottage the V.Ks are in, trapping them.]''
:'''Celia''': We're trapped!
:'''Evie''': Are you guys ok? What's going on?
:'''Mal''': You've caused my friends pain and fear. We've had enough, now disappear!
:''(The windows remain boarded shut.)''
:'''Mal''': You guys, I'm sorry. My spells aren't working! Audrey's magic is getting stronger!
:''(Uma's shell necklace glows, and she grabs Mal's hand and they chant the spell together.)''
:'''Mal &amp; Uma''': You've caused our friends pain and fear we've had enough, now disappear!
:''(After a few seconds the boards fall down, and the spell is broken.)''
:'''Evie''': You did it! Together. This is what I've been talking about.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uma''': Alright! Let's get this Audrey chick taken care of already. What do you say, girl? Time to wrap things up? ''(Fist-bumps Mal.)''
:'''Ben''': You know, someday you're gonna have to tell me how you guys all got teamed up.
:'''Evie''': Actually, Mal promised to let all the kids off the Isle once this is over.
:''(Mal awkwardly comes to a halt, making the other V.Ks stop too.)''
:'''Mal''': I have to tell you guys something. Um... I lied to you. The kids won't be coming off the Isle.
:''(All the V.Ks look surprised.)''
:'''Jay''': What d'you mean?
:'''Mal''': The program is shut down.... and the barrier... will be closed for good.
:'''Ben''': For Auradon's safety.
:''(Uma walks up Mal, trying to be casual and hide her disappointment.)''
:'''Uma''': Hold up. So we're saving your precious people and your behinds for a lie?
:''(Mal looks ashamed, and Uma can no longer hide the fact she's upset.)''
:'''Uma''': I knew it was a mistake to trust you. You're always out for yourself.
:'''Harry''': And you! King Ben... you're probably just gonna throw us all back inside.
:'''Celia''': ''(Angrily to Mal)'' You know what? I actually thought you were brave. But you're nothing but a chicken! Too scared to tell me I was never gonna see my dad again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mal''': Evie... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I just... I thought that... I was afraid to tell you. I thought I was gonna lose my best friend. But I had to do something! I had to protect Auradon!
:'''Evie''': Closing the barrier was ''your'' idea?
:'''Mal''': I did it for us! I did it for our life that we have here now!
:'''Evie''': For our life?! What about the kids that we left behind on that island? The kids that we promised... ''(Tearfully)'' we were their only hope. I thought you were gonna stand up for the V.Ks... but instead, you lied to them. And you lied to Jay... and you lied to Carlos... and you lied to me. We're your family.
:''(Mal looks close to tears as Evie, Carols and Jay turn away from her, angry and disappointed. Mal becomes more upset and tries to appeal to them.)''
:'''Mal''': Evie. Evie, come on! I had no choice!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Audrey has Celia hostage on top of Ben's castle. Mal has turned into a dragon to save her.]''
:'''Celia''': Help me, Mal!
:'''Audrey''': Yeah, save your little friend, Mal!
:'''Celia''': Help me, Mal!
:'''Audrey''': Careful not to fry your little V.K. buddy.
:''(From a distance Harry and Uma see Mal in dragon form fighting against Audrey who is using Maleficent's sceptre.)''
:'''Harry &amp; Uma''': Whoa!
:'''Uma''': She doesn't stand a chance without the ember.
:'''Celia''': Help me, Mal!
:'''Uma''': ''(To Harry)'' Come on!
:'''Audrey''': ''(Restraining her)'' Hold still, you little brat!
:'''Uma''': ''(To Mal)'' We're stronger together! We're stronger together!
:''(Mal flies down closer to Uma and Harry.)''
:'''Uma''': I'm right here, Mal! ''(At the ember.)'' Regain your might and ignite! I'm right here, girl! I'm right here.
:''(Mal smiles in her dragon form.)''
:'''Uma''': Regain your might and ignite! ''(The ember glows again.)'' Yes!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hades has used the ember to wake Audrey from a death like sleep.]''
:'''Audrey''': ''(Shocked)'' Tell me it was all a bad dream.
: '''Ben''': I wish I could. But, it's over now.
:'''Audrey''': I'm sorry... I wanted to hurt you both... I wanted to hurt all of you.
:'''Mal''': I have owed you an apology for... a very long time.
:'''Queen Leah''': ''(To Mal)'' And perhaps, I have owed you one, too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Everyone cheers Mal as the new Queen of Auradon, but her expression changes to shame.]''
:'''Mal''': I can't be Queen of Auradon.
:'''Ben''': Mal...
:'''Mal''': I can't turn my back on the Isle. ''(To the Aurodonians)'' We made a decision... to close the barrier forever. And it was my idea. But it's wrong. I've learned that you can't live in fear... because it doesn't actually protect you from anything. You never know where the bad is gonna come from... and you never know where the heroes are gonna come from either. Without Uma and her pirates... Auradon would be gone. And without Hades... my father... ''(Small gasp from the Aurodonians.)'' Audrey would be gone... We are all capable of good and bad, no matter which side of the barrier we come from. And that's why I can't be Queen of just Auradon. I have to be Queen of the Isle, too. And it's time that we take the barrier down forever.
:'''Beast''': We can't do that.
:'''Ben''': It's up to us, Dad. I choose to be a King who moves forward. It's time for forgiveness. It's time for new beginnings.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mal, Evie, Carlos &amp; Jay are thoughtfully looking over the bridge to Isle of the Lost.]''
:'''Evie''': Do you ever miss them?
:'''Jay''': Yeah.
:'''Mal''': Do you think that they miss us?
:'''Carlos''': Yeah. Of course.
:'''Mal''': 'Cause we're rotten...
:''(Holding out her fist to begin a group fist-bump. The others soon join her.)''
:'''Mal, Evie, Carlos &amp; Jay''': To the core.
:'''Carlos''': Hey, last one over the bridge...
:'''Mal, Evie, Carlos &amp; Jay''': Is a rotten apple!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Dove Cameron|Dove Cameron]] – Mal, the daughter of [[w:Maleficent|Maleficent]] and [[w:List of Disney's Hercules characters#Hades|Hades]]
* [[w:Cameron Boyce|Cameron Boyce]] – Carlos, the son of [[w:Cruella de Vil|Cruella de Vil]]
* [[w:Sofia Carson|Sofia Carson]] – Evie, the daughter of [[w:Evil Queen (Disney)|the Evil Queen]]
* [[w:Booboo Stewart|Booboo Stewart]] – Jay, the son of [[w:Jafar (Disney)|Jafar]]
* Mitchell Hope – Prince Ben, the son of [[w:Belle (Disney)|Queen Belle]] and [[w:Beast (Disney)|King Beast]]
* [[w:Sarah Jeffery|Sarah Jeffery]] – Audrey, the daughter of [[w:Aurora (Disney)|Princess Aurora]] and [[w:List of Disney's Sleeping Beauty characters#Prince Phillip|Prince Phillip]]
* Brenna D'Amico – Jane, the daughter of the Fairy Godmother
* [[w:Melanie Paxson|Melanie Paxson]] – [[w:List of Disney's Cinderella characters#The Fairy Godmother|the Fairy Godmother]]
* [[w:Thomas Doherty (actor)|Thomas Doherty]] – Harry Hook, the son of [[w:Captain Hook#Disney|Captain Hook]]
* [[Dylan Playfair]] – Gil, the son of [[w:Gaston (Disney)|Gaston]]
* [[Zachary Gibson]] – Doug, the son of Dopey the Dwarf
* Jedidiah Goodacre – Prince Chad Charming, the son of [[w:Cinderella (Disney character)|Cinderella]] and [[w:List of Disney's Cinderella characters#Prince Charming|Prince Charming]]

[[Category:2019 films]]
[[Category:Comedy-drama television films]]
[[Category:Fantasy television films]]
[[Category:Musical television films]]
[[Category:Teen films]]
[[Category:American  films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Disney Channel films]]
[[Category:Musical films]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Economy of the United States</title>
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      <text bytes="11206" xml:space="preserve">[[File:NYSE Wall St 2002.jpg|thumb|[T]he chief business of the American people is business. They are profoundly concerned with producing, buying, selling, investing and prospering in the world. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:Usa-world-trade-center-skyscrapers-reflection-night-skyline-cityscape.jpg|thumb|Only during two periods since 1776 has the government mostly left the economy alone: during the early years of the federal republic; and in the two decades previous to the Civil War. The political economist Condy Raguet called the first period of economic freedom, from 1783 to1807, &quot;the golden age&quot; of the republic: Trade was free, taxes were low, money was sound, and Americans enjoyed more economic freedom than any other people in the world. Sumner thought the years from 1846 to 1860—the era of the independent treasury, falling tariffs, and gold money—was the true &quot;golden age.&quot; ~ Scott Trask]]
The '''[[w:Economy of the United States|economy of the United States]]''' is a highly developed mixed economy. It is the world's largest economy by nominal GDP and the second-largest by purchasing power parity (PPP). It also has the world's eighth-highest per capita GDP (nominal) and the tenth-highest per capita GDP (PPP) in 2018. GDP measures recessions by two negative quarters of growth. The U.S. has the most technologically powerful economy in the world and its firms are at or near the forefront in technological advances. The U.S. dollar is the currency most used in international transactions and is the world's foremost reserve currency, backed by its economy, its military, debt reimbursement, and the petrodollar system. Several countries use it as their official currency, and in many others, it is the ''de facto'' currency. The largest U.S. trading partners are China, Canada, Mexico, Japan, Germany, South Korea, United Kingdom, France, India, and Taiwan. The U.S. is the world's largest importer and the second-largest exporter. It has free trade agreements with several nations, including NAFTA, Australia, South Korea, Israel, and few others which are in effect or under negotiating stage.
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}

==Quotes==
===B===

* [[Banking|Banks]] are the temples of America. This is a holy war. Our economy is our [[religion]].&lt;ref&gt;&quot;Book of Business Quotations&quot;. Ridgers, Bill, ed. The Economist. July 31, 2012.&lt;/ref&gt;
** [[Giannina Braschi]] (November 28, 2011), in the text &quot;United States of Banana&quot;

*When the economy falls over, we won’t be jellyfish. We’ll still have backbones and teeth, white teeth, and double standards to equalize the equilibrium that is never the same. 
** [[Giannina Braschi]] (November 28, 2011), in the text &quot;United States of Banana&quot;

*Only &quot;America,&quot; of all national designations, took on the combined force of [[eschatology]] and chauvinism. Many forms of [[nationalism]] have laid claims to a world-redeeming promise; many [[Christianity|Christian]] sects have sought, in open or secret [[heresy]], to find the sacred in the profane; many European [[Protestantism|Protestants]] have linked the soul’s journey and the way to wealth. But only the &quot;[[American Dream|American Way]],&quot; of all modern symbologies, has managed to circumvent the contradictions inherent in these approaches. Of all symbols of identity, only &quot;American&quot; has succeeded in uniting [[Nations|nationality]] with [[Universalism|universality]], civic and spiritual [[Individuality|selfhood]], sacred and secular [[history]], the country’s past and the paradise to be, in a single transcendent ideal.
**[[Sacvan Bercovitch]], as quoted in [http://archive.is/Hh60z#selection-447.121-451.365 &quot;Donald Trump Hates America: The rest of us can love America well&quot;] (18 July 2019), by [[David Brooks]], ''The New York Times''

*[T]he stakes for America are never small. If our country does not lead the cause of freedom, it will not be led. If we do not turn the hearts of children toward knowledge and character, we will lose their gifts and undermine their idealism. If we permit our economy to drift and decline, the vulnerable will suffer most.
**[[George W. Bush]], [http://www.bartleby.com/124/pres66.html inaugural address] (20 January 2001), Washington, D.C.

===C===
*[T]he chief business of the American people is [[business]]. They are profoundly concerned with producing, buying, selling, investing and prospering in the world.
**[[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt address before the American Society of Newspaper Editors in Washington] (17 January 1925)

===D===
* The object of this new American industrial empire, so far as that object was conscious and normative, was not national well-being, but the individual gain of the associated and corporate monarchs through the power of vast profit on enormous capital investment; through the efficiency of an industrial machine that bought the highest managerial and engineering talent and used the latest and most effective methods and machines in a field of unequaled raw material and endless market demand. That this machine might use the profit for the general weal was possible and in cases true. But the uplift and well-being of the mass of men, of the cohorts of common labor, was not its ideal or excuse. Profit, income, uncontrolled power in My Business for My Property and for Me—this was the aim and method of the new monarchial dictatorship that displaced democracy in the United States in 1876.
** [[W. E. B. Du Bois]], ''Black Reconstruction in America, 1860-1880'' (1935), p. 586

===G===
*From the moment they took a [[republic]] rather than a [[monarchy]] as the shape of their government, Americans prided themselves on being a nation of peace, dedicated to the arts of commerce rather than the rapacity of [[empire]] and &quot;the spirit of war.&quot;
**[[Allen C. Guelzo]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=i5u1P0Fq4GYC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=0307594084&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwj17N6CovLcAhUPUt8KHTa1CrgQ6AEIKDAA#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Gettysburg: The Last Invasion''] (2013), New York: Alfred A. Knoff, p. 9

===N===
* The blood, sweat, tears, and suffering of Black people are the foundations of the wealth and power of the United States of America. We were forced to build America, and if forced to, we will tear it down. The immediate result of this destruction will be suffering and bloodshed. But the end result will be perpetual peace for all mankind.
** [[Huey Newton]], &quot;In Defense of Self-Defense&quot;, ''The Huey P. Newton Reader'', p. 137

=== L ===

* We do not believe that the American economy is a zero-sum game―in other words, if I have more, that means someone else will have less. What we said in that forum is that we believe in a growing pie. Just because I have a certain slice of the pie does not exclude anyone else from it by design. Unfortunately, the opposite view is held by many people in the [[w:Western world|West]] today. They do think it is a zero-sum game, that there's only so much to go around and that it has to be shared more fairly. They do not comprehend expanding [[wealth]] or creating wealth; they view it as limited and finite and want to [[Redistribution of income and wealth|redistribute]] it. It pains us greatly that we are not able to get our message across that the great [[prosperity]] so many people in this country enjoy is available to everybody―if you are just taught to avail yourself of it, how to believe in yourself, how to be [[Self-sufficiency|self-sufficient]], and how to escape government [[dependency]]. 
** [[Rush Limbaugh]], ''The Way Things Ought to Be'' (1992), pp. 26-27

===P===
* Solving this issue is going to require [[cooperation]] between the [[w:private sector|private sector]], including [[w:rail|rail]] and [[trucking]], [[w:ports|ports]] and [[labor unions]]
** [[w:White House|White House]] press secretary [[Jen Psaki]] according to &quot;[https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/576463-white-house-says-walmart-fedex-ups-will-move-to-24-7-model-to-address White House: Walmart, FedEx, UPS to go 24/7 to address supply bottlenecks]&quot; (October, 12, 2021)

===T===
* Only during two periods since 1776 has the government mostly left the economy alone: during the [[w:Early United States|early years of the federal republic]]; and in the two decades previous to the [[American Civil War|Civil War]]. The political economist Condy Raguet called the first period of economic freedom, from 1783 to 1807, &quot;the golden age&quot; of the republic: [[Trade]] was free, [[Taxation|taxes]] were low, [[money]] was sound, and Americans enjoyed more economic freedom than any other people in the world. [[William Graham Sumner|Sumner]] thought the years from 1846 to 1860—the era of the independent treasury, falling tariffs, and [[Gold standard|gold money]]—was the true &quot;golden age.&quot; 
** Scott Trask, [https://mises.org/library/ten-recurring-economic-fallacies-1774-2004 Ten Recurring Economic Fallacies, 1774–2004], ''Mises Institute'', 12 February 2022

===W===
* We’ve had an economy that never really escaped the [[Financial crisis of 2007–08|crash of 2008]]. In a way, the last 10 years have been an economy on life support: vast amounts of [[money]] [[w:Injection (economics)|pumped]] into the economy; record drops in {{w|interest rate}}s, inviting everybody—[[business]], [[Individualism|individuals]], [[Government|governments]]—to [[w:Loan|borrow money]]—a debt-sustained situation. And after a while, you can’t mount up the debt on the basis of an economy that hasn’t really gotten going. And we’re seeing the eventual break. You know, the [[capitalist system]] has a downturn every four to seven years. It’s had that for centuries. And the last big downturn was 2008 and '09. So, if you do four and seven, and you add it to nine, we're due for one. And every major [[stock market]] observer, bank and so on predicts that we’re having a downturn. So it’s really only a question of exactly when. And the stock market anticipates this. And so we’re having, in a way, economic chickens coming home to roost. And the notion that it’s just the [[w:Federal Reserve#Monetary policy|Fed’s policy]] that explains this is really the kind of remark that would get a student a very low grade in any economics course.
** [[Richard D. Wolff]], ''[https://www.democracynow.org/2018/12/26/richard_wolff_we_need_a_more Richard Wolff: We Need a More Humane Economic System—Not One That Only Benefits the Rich]'' (December 26, 2018), ''{{w|Democracy Now!}}''

===Z===
*In the United States (and to a lesser degree, in most of the [[Developed country|advanced world]]) money is an economic good. Something that has value in and of itself, and so it should be applied with a degree of forethought for how efficiently it can be mobilized. This is why banks require collateral and/or business plans before they’ll fund loans.
**[[w:Peter Zeihan|Peter Zeihan]], [https://zeihan.com/a-failure-of-leadership-part-iii-the-beginning-of-the-end-of-china/ &quot;A Failure of Leadership, Part III: The Beginning of the End of China&quot;] (15 May 2020), ''Zeihan on Geopolitics''
==External links==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
[[Category:Economy of the United States| ]]</text>
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    <title>Rita Moreno</title>
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'''[[w:Rita_Moreno|Rita Moreno]]''' (born '''Rosa Dolores Alverío''' December 11, 1931) is a Puerto Rican actress, dancer and singer.

== Quotes ==

*If you have been traumatised from the time you were a child to believe you were a ‘spic’, that you were a garlic-mouth, that you are not worthy, it takes a long time to get rid of that. That’s why therapy so often takes so long, because you’re trying to get rid of that trash before you can deal with the you that wants to get better. I went into therapy wanting to get better, knowing that in some way I had a sickness. And the sickness was Rita hates Rita.
**On internalizing racism in [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/29/i-owe-an-enormous-debt-to-therapy-rita-moreno-on-west-side-story-dating-brando-and-joy-at-90 “‘I owe an enormous debt to therapy!’ Rita Moreno on West Side Story, dating Brando and joy at 90”] in The Guardian (2021 Nov 29) 

*'''I think that some people are genetically just strong. I really believe that my mom was like that. On the other hand, maybe you're forced to be that way because you realize you're either going to sink or swim, and the choice you make determines the kind of person you become…'''
**On strength and perseverance in [https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a26432578/rita-moreno-one-day-at-a-time-interview/ “Rita Moreno Is Unbreakable”] in ''Elle Magazine'' (2019 Feb 22)

*I was told I was crying all the time I was unconscious…It wasn’t done for drama, that’s for sure. What I really wanted to do was kill the bad Rita who was always getting me in trouble, but it turned out if you’re going to kill the bad Rita, you’re also going to kill the good one.
**On her suicide attempt in her early 20s in [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/29/i-owe-an-enormous-debt-to-therapy-rita-moreno-on-west-side-story-dating-brando-and-joy-at-90 “‘I owe an enormous debt to therapy!’ Rita Moreno on West Side Story, dating Brando and joy at 90”] in The Guardian (2021 Nov 29) 

*'''What I say to my gente [people] is to hang on, and to remember who they are, be proud of who they are, and keep talking. And keep complaining, and just don't ever — don't give up. That's always been my motto anyway. My motto has always been &quot;persevere&quot; — perseverancia. And that's what we need to do.'''
**On the advice that she gives to her people in [https://www.npr.org/2018/05/13/610407259/rita-moreno-to-my-gente-be-proud-of-who-you-are-don-t-give-up “Rita Moreno To 'My Gente': Be Proud Of Who You Are, And Don't Give Up”] in NPR (2018 May 13)

*I think part of the reason is because, unlike the black community, we don’t mainly come from America. We come from all kinds of countries and we’ve siloed ourselves rather than supporting each other, as we should have. We still think of ourselves as Argentinian or Puerto Rican or Mexican rather than Hispanic. Until we get over that and become one big wonderful community, we’re still going to have problems.
**On why Latino Americans have not made as many strides as Black Americans in the film industry in [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/29/i-owe-an-enormous-debt-to-therapy-rita-moreno-on-west-side-story-dating-brando-and-joy-at-90 “‘I owe an enormous debt to therapy!’ Rita Moreno on West Side Story, dating Brando and joy at 90”] in The Guardian (2021 Nov 29) 

*'''It got me roles. And you know, for a while, that was wonderful — I was in the movies. But after a while I began to understand that it was really very demeaning. And I began to feel more and more and more diminished. I was already very unsure of myself anyway, because when I was a very young girl in New York City I ran into an awful lot of racial bias, and I got called some pretty nasty names, like 'spic' and — all the words you heard in West Side Story came directly from the streets — 'garlic mouth,' 'pierced ear.' So by the time I was doing those kind of roles — for a living, practically, in Hollywood — I was beginning to feel pretty bad about myself.'''
**On the ethnic roles that she played early in her career in [https://www.npr.org/2013/03/10/173726066/rita-moreno-reflects-on-anita-awards-and-accents “Rita Moreno Reflects On Anita, Awards And Accents”] in NPR (2013 Mar 7)

*You are perceiving that Rita Moreno I presented to the world. What was I gonna do, say: ‘Really, I’m a weak person’? No, that was the persona. I am now that person, but it took me a very, very long time to become her.
**On how she differed from her confident character Anita in ''West Side Story'' in [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/29/i-owe-an-enormous-debt-to-therapy-rita-moreno-on-west-side-story-dating-brando-and-joy-at-90 “‘I owe an enormous debt to therapy!’ Rita Moreno on West Side Story, dating Brando and joy at 90”] in The Guardian (2021 Nov 29) 

*'''I've always had this image of this strong, sprightly person who is undaunted by anything; on the contrary, I was one of the shyest, most unsure people you ever met in your life. But I have one very specific quality: I'm plucky. I really am. I would say that's a perfect description of my personality. I am able to get up and dust myself off and keep moving forward. I'm very stubborn. I never knew that about myself. But I realize how stubborn I am when I look at all the terrible things that happened to me and how I just get up and keep going.'''
**On how she perceives herself in [https://www.npr.org/2013/03/10/173726066/rita-moreno-reflects-on-anita-awards-and-accents “Rita Moreno Reflects On Anita, Awards And Accents”] in NPR (2013 Mar 7)

*It was my choice, because I was being offered such crappy stuff. I was only offered gang movies on a way lesser scale and it was like the same fucking battle again. I couldn’t believe it. And it broke my heart. It. Absolutely. Broke. My. Heart. I thought: ‘I’ll wait for something better,’ and something better kept not coming. It was horrific.
**On her seven-year hiatus from acting in [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/29/i-owe-an-enormous-debt-to-therapy-rita-moreno-on-west-side-story-dating-brando-and-joy-at-90 “‘I owe an enormous debt to therapy!’ Rita Moreno on West Side Story, dating Brando and joy at 90”] in The Guardian (2021 Nov 29) 

*'''He didn’t like the raucous side of me and I love that side of me. I think I’m funny as hell and I think I’m cute and I think I’m mischievous. I know I’m mischievous. And that’s the kind of thing he discouraged, and that makes me very sad, because he was missing out on something pretty wonderful about me…You know, I think I owe an enormous debt to psychotherapy. Without that, I wouldn’t be the Rita you know and love.'''
**On her late husband and feeling stifled in her marriage in [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/29/i-owe-an-enormous-debt-to-therapy-rita-moreno-on-west-side-story-dating-brando-and-joy-at-90 “‘I owe an enormous debt to therapy!’ Rita Moreno on West Side Story, dating Brando and joy at 90”] in The Guardian (2021 Nov 29)

*I have a great sense of humor about aging, and I think I’m one of the funniest people I know when it comes to aging, because I misplace stuff and I drive everyone crazy looking for the house keys or something. Once, I couldn’t find my purse, and I upended the car, upended the house. I could not find that fucking purse. And then two days ago, I opened the cabinet in the kitchen where all the doggie stuff is, and guess what? I had put it in there. I started laughing so hard, I nearly peed. I couldn’t stop laughing. I thought, You silly bitch.
**On aging in [https://www.wmagazine.com/culture/rita-moreno-interview “Rita Moreno Refuses to Take Herself Too Seriously”] in W Magazine (2021 Oct 13)

*'''The first time I saw myself on a movie screen, I was disappointed because I didn’t look outrageously beautiful. It’s not that I looked ugly. It’s just that I had these funny notions of how you’re supposed to look when you’re in the movies. You’re supposed to look like Elizabeth Taylor, who was my idol. Guess what? I didn’t look like her. And my voice sounded very high, which indeed it was. So I was thrilled and at the same time, I was somewhat disappointed. But I thought, I can work on my voice. I can make that better.'''
**On seeing her celluloid self for the first time in [https://www.thirteen.org/blog-post/rita-moreno-interview/ “Rita Moreno Interview”] in Inside Thirteen (Elisa Lichtenbaum; 2021 Sep 27) 

*It never occurred to me when I was 10 years old that I was going to end up representing an entire—not just community, but nationality. That’s not something I ever thought of, because I wasn’t a political person then. But I was forced to become one because of the circumstances. At some point, I discovered that a lot of people were suffering unnecessarily. I really started to understand that everyone has a responsibility to others and to a community, that you are not the only person in the world you simply represent, whether you like it or not.
**On becoming a political person over the years in [https://www.wmagazine.com/culture/rita-moreno-interview “Rita Moreno Refuses to Take Herself Too Seriously”] in W Magazine (2021 Oct 13)

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
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'''[[w:Esperanza Spalding|Esperanza Emily Spalding]]''' (October 18, 1984) is an American jazz bassist and singer.

== Quotes ==

* I want to have a beneficial effect on your physiology, but it’s not my business what happens after that…It’s my gift to you.
** On the healing effects that she hopes her music provides in [https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2018/09/esperanza-spalding-12-little-spells-interview “Esperanza Spalding Wants to Connect You to Your Body”] in ''Vanity Fair'' (2018 Sep 25)

* Alchemy and magic are about how mundane, benign, and abundant materials can have an effect that is greater than the sum of their parts. To me, creativity is alchemy.
** On giving her music a magical quality  in [https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2018/09/esperanza-spalding-12-little-spells-interview “Esperanza Spalding Wants to Connect You to Your Body”] in ''Vanity Fair'' (2018 Sep 25)

* …There’s two sides of the coin: One where people don't expect you to do anything and won't let you do anything because they think you don't know how, and then the other side is when you're fucking up but they won't tell you because you're a girl. Then you don’t learn.
** On how recording in the studio can be a double-edged sword in [https://pitchfork.com/features/interview/9830-esperanza-spalding-insubordinate-by-nature/ “Esperanza Spalding: Insubordinate by Nature”] in Pitchfork (2016 Mar 8)

* …There's no secret, no shortcut. Once you accept that being a writer or a creator is just really hard and takes a lot of hours of slogging through crappy first drafts, you just keep producing, and then you turn around and it's done. That's the magic.
** On becoming a writer in [https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/7973640/esperanza-spalding-77-hours-livestream-album-interview “Esperanza Spalding Talks Recording an Album in 77 Hours, Sexism in Music &amp; Nicki Minaj”] in Billboard (2017 Sep 22)

== External links ==
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'''[[w:Lucy Liu|Lucy Alexis Liu Yu Ling]]''' (born December 2, 1968), known as '''Lucy Liu''', is an American actress, voice actress, director, singer, dancer, model and artist.

== Quotes ==

* The challenge from the beginning was just the diversity and ‘We don’t really know what to do with you’ and ‘There’s not going to be a lot of work for you.
** On being an Asian American actress in [https://variety.com/2019/tv/features/lucy-liu-elementary-why-women-kill-directing-walk-of-fame-interview-1203198133/ “How Lucy Liu Battled Against a Lack of Diversity to Become a Hollywood Star”] in Variety (2019 May 1)

* The lack of predictability with television is something that’s constantly changing what your perception of who you think your character is…
** On how television differs from Liu’s other acting ventures in [https://www.interviewmagazine.com/culture/lucy-liu-elementary “Lucy Liu’s Independent Woman”] in Interview Magazine (2014 Oct 30)

* Growing up as somebody from another country, really, not what you see on television, I never saw myself in the forefront, ever. We were always in the background.
** On the lack of Asian American representation on television in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-evolution-of-lucy-liu-elementary/ “The Evolution of Lucy Liu”] in CBS News (2017 May 7)

* You can't allow fear to take over your life. If you do, you'll look back and you'll have regrets. I learned this a long time ago, because I think &quot;my God, my parents came over from another country&quot;. It would be really scary for me to move to China and leave everything behind. But I have to remember that fear is something everyone feels and it's natural. You might feel fear 10 times a day in your life, and you have to try to understand it…
** On not letting fear dictate your life in [https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/lucy-liu-the-q-interview-111078.html “Lucy Liu: The Q Interview”] in Independent (2003 Jun 29)

*Everyone has a different format for how they want to reveal what they are thinking, or what they are seeing, to the audience…I just had to let go of the audience and just started thinking about what I wanted to see.
**On her painting style in [https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lucy-liu-artsy/index.html “Lucy Liu on making art to find a sense of belonging”] in CNN (2019 Nov 28)

*I think that art helps evaluate some of the psychology of yourself as a child, and to illuminate some things you may never have understood.
**On the power of art in [https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lucy-liu-artsy/index.html “Lucy Liu on making art to find a sense of belonging”] in CNN (2019 Nov 28)

*I realized it had everything to do with how I grew up and the interaction I had with my father, that he was somewhat abusive…That made me understand that your body retains not just physical damage, but emotional perforations.
**On her “41 Series” in [https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lucy-liu-artsy/index.html “Lucy Liu on making art to find a sense of belonging”] in CNN (2019 Nov 28)

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

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'''[[w:Lucy Liu|Lucy Alexis Liu Yu Ling]]''' (born December 2, 1968), known as '''Lucy Liu''', is an American actress, voice actress, director, singer, dancer, model and artist.

== Quotes ==

* The challenge from the beginning was just the diversity and ‘We don’t really know what to do with you’ and ‘There’s not going to be a lot of work for you.
** On being an Asian American actress in [https://variety.com/2019/tv/features/lucy-liu-elementary-why-women-kill-directing-walk-of-fame-interview-1203198133/ “How Lucy Liu Battled Against a Lack of Diversity to Become a Hollywood Star”] in Variety (2019 May 1)

* The lack of predictability with television is something that’s constantly changing what your perception of who you think your character is…
** On how television differs from Liu’s other acting ventures in [https://www.interviewmagazine.com/culture/lucy-liu-elementary “Lucy Liu’s Independent Woman”] in Interview Magazine (2014 Oct 30)

* Growing up as somebody from another country, really, not what you see on television, I never saw myself in the forefront, ever. We were always in the background.
** On the lack of Asian American representation on television in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-evolution-of-lucy-liu-elementary/ “The Evolution of Lucy Liu”] in CBS News (2017 May 7)

* You can't allow fear to take over your life. If you do, you'll look back and you'll have regrets. I learned this a long time ago, because I think &quot;my God, my parents came over from another country&quot;. It would be really scary for me to move to China and leave everything behind. But I have to remember that fear is something everyone feels and it's natural. You might feel fear 10 times a day in your life, and you have to try to understand it…
** On not letting fear dictate your life in [https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/lucy-liu-the-q-interview-111078.html “Lucy Liu: The Q Interview”] in Independent (2003 Jun 29)

*Everyone has a different format for how they want to reveal what they are thinking, or what they are seeing, to the audience…I just had to let go of the audience and just started thinking about what I wanted to see.
**On her painting style in [https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lucy-liu-artsy/index.html “Lucy Liu on making art to find a sense of belonging”] in CNN (2019 Nov 28)

*I think that art helps evaluate some of the psychology of yourself as a child, and to illuminate some things you may never have understood.
**On the power of art in [https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lucy-liu-artsy/index.html “Lucy Liu on making art to find a sense of belonging”] in CNN (2019 Nov 28)

*I realized it had everything to do with how I grew up and the interaction I had with my father, that he was somewhat abusive…That made me understand that your body retains not just physical damage, but emotional perforations.
**On her “41 Series” in [https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lucy-liu-artsy/index.html “Lucy Liu on making art to find a sense of belonging”] in CNN (2019 Nov 28)

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Liu, Lucy}}
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'''[[w:Lucy Liu|Lucy Alexis Liu Yu Ling]]''' (born December 2, 1968), known as '''Lucy Liu''', is an American actress, voice actress, director, singer, dancer, model and artist.

== Quotes ==

* The challenge from the beginning was just the diversity and ‘We don’t really know what to do with you’ and ‘There’s not going to be a lot of work for you.
** On being an Asian American actress in [https://variety.com/2019/tv/features/lucy-liu-elementary-why-women-kill-directing-walk-of-fame-interview-1203198133/ “How Lucy Liu Battled Against a Lack of Diversity to Become a Hollywood Star”] in Variety (2019 May 1)

* The lack of predictability with television is something that’s constantly changing what your perception of who you think your character is…
** On how television differs from Liu’s other acting ventures in [https://www.interviewmagazine.com/culture/lucy-liu-elementary “Lucy Liu’s Independent Woman”] in Interview Magazine (2014 Oct 30)

* Growing up as somebody from another country, really, not what you see on television, I never saw myself in the forefront, ever. We were always in the background.
** On the lack of Asian American representation on television in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-evolution-of-lucy-liu-elementary/ “The Evolution of Lucy Liu”] in CBS News (2017 May 7)

* You can't allow fear to take over your life. If you do, you'll look back and you'll have regrets. I learned this a long time ago, because I think &quot;my God, my parents came over from another country&quot;. It would be really scary for me to move to China and leave everything behind. But I have to remember that fear is something everyone feels and it's natural. You might feel fear 10 times a day in your life, and you have to try to understand it…
** On not letting fear dictate your life in [https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/lucy-liu-the-q-interview-111078.html “Lucy Liu: The Q Interview”] in Independent (2003 Jun 29)

*Everyone has a different format for how they want to reveal what they are thinking, or what they are seeing, to the audience…I just had to let go of the audience and just started thinking about what I wanted to see.
**On her painting style in [https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lucy-liu-artsy/index.html “Lucy Liu on making art to find a sense of belonging”] in CNN (2019 Nov 28)

*I think that art helps evaluate some of the psychology of yourself as a child, and to illuminate some things you may never have understood.
**On the power of art in [https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lucy-liu-artsy/index.html “Lucy Liu on making art to find a sense of belonging”] in CNN (2019 Nov 28)

*I realized it had everything to do with how I grew up and the interaction I had with my father, that he was somewhat abusive…That made me understand that your body retains not just physical damage, but emotional perforations.
**On her “41 Series” in [https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lucy-liu-artsy/index.html “Lucy Liu on making art to find a sense of belonging”] in CNN (2019 Nov 28)

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Liu, Lucy}}
[[Category:Chinese Americans]]
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Film directors from the United States]]
[[Category:1968 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Painters from the United States]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:Models from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]</text>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
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'''''[[w:Steven Universe Future|Steven Universe Future]]''''' (2019–2020) is an animated limited series produced by [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]] as an epilogue for [[Steven Universe (season 5)|Season 5]] of ''[[Steven Universe]]'' and ''[[Steven Universe: The Movie]]''.

==Episodes==
===''Little Homeschool''===
:'''Steven''': ''[narrating]'' Life is a little different these days. The Diamonds have ended their reign of terror. The intergalactic war is over, and Earth is officially an independent planet. We're all safe to explore our dreams. Lars opened up his own pastry shop, and it's got a real cute space gimmick goin' on. Sadie's been touring with The Suspects, promoting their new album, and Connie has been getting a head start on college prep. She's two years away from applying, but she says it doesn't hurt to start early. And speaking of higher education, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and I have been cooking up a dream of our own!
:'''Cherry Quartz''': I have no idea who you're talking about.
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckling]'' Don't worry about it. You'll learn all that, and more, right here at Little Homeschool. ''[gives Cherry Quartz a tour around]'' Here at Little Homeschool, you have a chance to rediscover yourself and learn to live on Earth if you like. You can forge a new identity. Grow your own ideas. And even find your inner Morp!
:'''Cherry Quartz''': Wait, what's a &quot;Morp&quot;?
:'''Steven''': That's ''exactly'' the kind of question we love to hear!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You know, half those Gems are soldiers who fought by your side before they were corrupted and turned into monsters. They're lost and confused and still a little messed up, but they're getting the help they need.
:'''Jasper''': So? Who cares?
:'''Steven''': ''[angrily]'' I do! And if I didn't care, you'd still be a monster too!
:'''Jasper''': And what? Now I owe you?
:'''Steven''': No!
:'''Jasper''': You think because you did something I never asked for, I'm going to ''obey'' you?
:'''Steven''': No! That's not--
:'''Jasper''': Like all the other Gems you ''use.''
:'''Steven''': ''[frustrated]'' AGGGHHH! I only came here because I felt bad for you, but all of this is your own fault! All the other Gems were corrupted by the Diamonds, but-- but you corrupted yourself just to win a fight! Which you ''LOST!'' To ''ME!'' No one's making you stay here all alone in the middle of nowhere, ready to fight a war that's been over for years! Are you just gonna sit here for centuries waiting for someone to give you a purpose?! ''Because I'm trying to give you one!''
:'''Jasper''': Listen, weakling! You might have Pink Diamond's gem, but you are ''not'' my Diamond, and I am ''not'' going to take orders from some weak, sappy, useless piece of dirt! If you think you're hard enough to tell me what to do, then fight me and prove it.
:'''Steven''': Fine!
:'''Jasper''': ''[suddenly smiles eagerly]'' Really? Huh, well then! Why don't you throw the first punch? ''[beckons tauntingly, and Steven punches her, pushing her back a few feet]'' Ooohh...! ''[laughs aggressively and charges back at him]''
:'''Steven''': I... guess we're doing this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During his fight with Jasper, Steven bubbles a nest of baby birds to protect them]''
:'''Jasper''': Stop trying to help those tiny flapping Earthlings, and ''FIGHT ME!'' 
:'''Steven''': I'll never stop trying to help them, or you!
:'''Jasper''': ''[kicking his shield away and pinning him down]'' I don't need your help! ''You're'' the one that needs help! You think you've beaten me, but you've never beaten me on your own! You've always been a fusion! You've always had your friends! Because you're nothing without them! You think everyone needs help!
:'''Steven''': ''[tearing up]'' I-- I just--  
:'''Jasper''': But ''it's only you. No one'' is as '''''pitiful''''' as '''''you!'''''
:''[Shaken and angry, Steven starts to glow pink and pushes Jasper back with a sudden burst of strength, much to her surprise]''
:'''Steven''': ''[looking at himself]'' Whoa... what? ''[Jasper grins, and Steven angrily summons a bubble glove and charges at her with it]'' I'M... ''NOT''... PITIFUL! ''[sends her flying back through several trees]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles]'' Ha. Not bad. ''[continues to fight Steven, who catches her in the middle of a spin-dash]'' Nice catch.
:'''Steven''': You should see my ''THROW!'' ''[tosses her up into the air, where she laughs as he hits her several more times]'' STOP LAUGHING! ''[sends her slamming back down into the ground, then gasps in shock and returns to normal]'' Jasper...
:'''Jasper''': ''[gets up and shakes herself off, impressed]'' Huh. I didn't think you had it in you.  
:'''Steven''': I don't... I don't know what that was. I'm sorry.  
:'''Jasper''': ''[rolling her eyes]'' Ugh! Don't apologize.  
:'''Steven''': I... think I had you all wrong. Maybe you don't have something to learn from me. Maybe I have something to learn from you. ''[Jasper raises an eyebrow]'' Would you ever be interested in teaching?  
:'''Jasper''': ''[scoffs]'' Tssh! At your crummy little school?
:'''Steven''': No, just me. You brought something out of me I didn't know I had.  
:'''Jasper''': ''[walks up to Steven, placing a hand on his shoulder]'' Consider that fight back there your first and ''only'' lesson. ''[begins walking off]''  
:'''Steven''': Well... can I come back to see you sometime?  
:'''Jasper''': Do what you want.

===''Guidance''===
:'''Larimar''': What is this wonderful noise?  
:'''Steven''': Those are the joyful screams of people on a roller coaster.  
:'''Larimar''': Human screams are my favorite of the Earth's delights. I want to hear the human screams forever.
:'''Steven''': Okay, that's kind of troubling. But your heart is in the right place.
:'''Larimar''': One day, I'll make ''you'' scream, Steven.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Larimar''': I just wanted to say thanks for the amusement park job. I'm not great at the roller-coaster operation, we know, but I found out I'm good at handing out prizes to children, and I love their laughter.
:'''Steven''': Aww.
:'''Larimar''': It sounds just like screaming.

===''Rose Buds''===
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': Stop relaxing and get back to your posts! Ugh! How can you stand this total lack of order?
:'''Amethyst Guard''': Chill out, Holly Blue. You know you want to.
:'''Holly Blue Agate''' I give up. No one answers to me, and I answer to no one. I'd give anything for an order from the Diamonds, but all they talk about is Steven, Steven, Steven -- Steven!
:'''Steven''': Hi, Holly.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[seeing all of the Rose Quartzes being un-bubbled]'' So... Many... Rose Quartzes. How did the--
:'''Superfan Rose''': Oh, now that it's Era 3, we were all unbubbled, so now, we're making up for lost time. Hi! I'm Rose Quartz, and you, you're Steven! You are so much smaller than I imagined! Is it because you're half organic? Can you believe it, Rose Quartz?!
:'''Hippie Rose''': It's like, we where bubbled, but now we're like, not bubbled.
:'''Steven''': Th-It's really-- It's really great.

===''Volleyball''===
:'''Steven''': So, how would you like your magical spit administered today?
:'''Ruby bodyguard''': Ah, geez, uh... the ''not'' kissing one?
:'''Steven''': You got it! ''[licks his palm and applies healing spit onto the Ruby's gem, healing the crack]'' Man, what kind of enemies does the mayor have to keep you landing in my office?
:'''Ruby bodyguard''': That's classified information, nurse-citizen Universe.
:'''Steven''': Okay, well, try not to classify too hard out there. Oh, don't forget your lollipop!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[On Pink Pearl's cracked face]''
:'''Pearl''': How could White be so careless?  
:'''Pink Pearl''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, no, Pearl. You've got it all wrong. Pink did this.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' What did you say? ''[approaches her]'' 
:'''Steven''': Pearl, no...!  
:'''Pink Pearl''': It's a funny story, really. Once, Pink got tired of asking Yellow and Blue for her own colony, so she went straight to White. Of course, White told her she wasn't fit to run one, and, well, that set her off. 
:'''Pearl''': &quot;Set her off&quot;? What are you talking about?  
:'''Pink Pearl''': You remember how she was, with her destructive powers, throwing tantrums left and right. She had a scream that could crack the walls. She didn't mean to hurt me. ''[chuckles]'' I just happened to be standing too close to her that time, and--  
:'''Steven''': ''[covering his ears anxiously]'' Doesn't matter! I'm gonna fix it!  
:'''Pearl''': Destructive powers?! Pink didn't have destructive powers, she was a healer! She didn't throw tantrums, she kept her feelings secret!
:'''Pink Pearl''': The Pink I knew couldn't keep a secret to save her gem.  
:'''Pearl''': Are you kidding?! If anything, she was ''too'' good at keeping secrets, even from me!
:''[Frustrated by their arguing, Steven furiously snaps and starts glowing pink]''
:'''Steven''': ''[lividly]'' ''STOP IT!'' I CAN'T DEAL WITH ''ONE MORE'' HORRIBLE THING SHE DID, OKAY?! ''[Both Pearls gasp]'' I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT, I DON'T EVEN WANNA ''THINK'' ABOUT IT!
:'''Pearl''': Steven!
:'''Steven''': I JUST WANT TO '''''FIX IT!!!'''''
:''[Steven unleashes a shockwave that causes cracks around the room. Pink Pearl cowers in fear, and Steven looks at his own reflection in shock and remorse]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': I'm sorry for not believing you. It looks like I'm still making excuses for her. 
:'''Pink Pearl''': ''[tearfully]'' Is that what ''I've'' been doing?! But... she didn't mean to! 
:'''Pearl''': But you were hurt! Badly hurt! 
:'''Pink Pearl''': I was badly hurt... How did ''you'' stop hurting? 
:'''Pearl''': ''[embraces her tightly]'' I didn't.
:''[Pink Pearl returns the hug, and they fuse into Mega Pearl]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I'm so sorry. The whole trip was for nothing. 
:'''Mega Pearl''': No, it wasn't for nothing. Your mother's Pearls never had the whole picture. One knew your mother was trying to change, but she couldn't understand why. The other never expected her to change at all. Now, I get to understand everything. Now, they finally get to have each other.
:''[She separates into the two Pearls, peacefully holding hands]''

===''Bluebird''===
:'''Steven''': Tsk, tsk, tsk. You guys fused just because you hate me, didn't you?
:'''Aquamarine and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': Yes!
:'''Steven Universe''': If that's the only reason, then it's no wonder you can't keep it together.
:'''Aquamarine''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven Universe''': There are so many other reasons to fuse, like friendship and responsibility and... and love. Imagine how much better it would feel to fuse to support each other, instead of tearing someone down. Your life would fill with warmth and friendship and joy and love and--
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[covering her ears]'' Wowie, wow! He is ''so'' annoying!
:'''Aquamarine''': I hate him so much!
:'''Aquamarine and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I know! Me too! ''[they fuse back into Bluebird]''
:'''Steven''': Are you kidding me?
:'''Bluebird''': At last!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I'm really sorry, Dad. I never should have given Bluebird a chance.
:'''Greg''': I love how you believe in everyone. You stuck to your principles, and I'm proud of you. I mean, everyone can change, but not everyone wants to.

===''A Very Special Episode''===
:''[Rainbow Quartz 2.0 unfuses and Steven answers the call]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven, you're late. I need you for the Sunstone safety geminar.
:'''Steven''': Oh, no, that was today? But, Rainbow Quartz promised to hang out with Onion to-
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry, ''I'll'' handle the geminar. I'll explain to them every possible future where they get hurt in this house.
:'''Steven''': I don't know if that's a good idea. I'll be right there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ocean Jasper''': I slip on the stairs?
:'''Garnet''': Yes. You shatter on impact.
:''[Ocean Jasper, Earth and Heaven Beetle, and a Nephrite scream]''
:'''Steven''': ''[enters through the door]'' Garnet, I'm here.
:'''Garnet''': Steven, help. I think I'm scaring them.
:'''Steven''': It's okay. We got this. Let's get this safety Geminar started with a very special guest speaker.
:''[They both fuse into Sunstone]''
:'''Sunstone''': Your rockin' pal Sunstone's here to shine.
:'''Ocean Jasper''': Watch out, Sunstone. It's dangerous in here.
:'''Sunstone''': Not if you practice home safety. Don't slip up. Clear objects off the stairs. Foul shot! Make sure you cover your trash, or you might attract wild animals. Come on. Let's go! Don't leave the water running, it could flood your house. Put protective covers on electrical outlets, especially when kids are around. And most importantly, turn off motion smoothing on your TV.
:'''Ocean Jasper''': Wow, everything looks so much better!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Steven receives a call from Pearl, who he left to take care of Onion]''
:'''Steven''': ''[exhausted]'' Please, please have everything under control...  
:'''Pearl''': STEVEN! EVERYTHING IS OUT OF CONTROL!
:'''Steven''': Yup...
:'''Pearl''': It's getting really weird here! Steven, you were never like this, you were such a good kid! I'm so sorry I never told you that! Aah! I... I can hear him, but I can't see him! I think he's in the walls! I don't know how he got there, and I don't know how to get him out! ''[call ends]''
:'''Steven''': ''[long gasp]'' Garnet, can you handle things on your own for a little bit?  
:'''Garnet''': No problem. Our students love me. ''[walks over to them]'' Let me tell you all the ways you can get hit by a car.  
:'''Steven''': Agh, Garnet! Forget it. I'll stay. I'll stay!  
:'''Pearl''': ''[in another call]'' STEVEN, THERE'S A SNAKE!
:'''Steven''': Never mind!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': Why play with sharp objects when you can play with my sharp wit? Crack jokes, not cookie jars, as I always say. Ha ha!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': It's important to keep in mind that all these horrible things ''did'' happen to you in alternate timelines. Safety is fun.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Onion has led Garnet's students off a cliff]''
:'''Pearl''': Oh, no!
:'''Garnet''': Steven, quick! Sunstone can save them!
:'''Steven''': Okay... ''[they fuse into Sunstone]'' 
:'''Sunstone''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Pearl''': No! Let Rainbow save them! ''[fuses with Steven]''  
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': ''[showing his umbrella]'' I'll catch them with this!  
:'''Amethyst''': ''[rushing in]'' Hey, wait! ''I'' need Steven!
:'''Steven''' ''[unfuses from Pearl]'' What is it, Amethyst?  
:'''Amethyst''': I just miss you, man! I haven't seen you for, like, eleven minutes!

===''Snow Day''===
:'''Amethyst''': ''[enters with fried eggs for eyes]'' You really gonna skip the most egg-ssential meal of the day?
:'''Steven''': Of course not. I've got all my morning nutrients in this protein shake.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[pokes yolk to leak]'' Dude, you're making me sad.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Man, you had a better work-life balance when the Diamonds were trying to destroy the planet.
:'''Steven''': That was then. This is now.
:'''Amethyst''': Hey, you know what we haven't done in a long time? ''[shapeshifts into 14-year-old Steven]'' Steven Tag!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst, what the heck?!
:'''Amethyst''': You know the rules, buster. You get tagged, you have to turn into Steven.
:'''Steven''': But I'm already Steven!
:'''Amethyst''': Nah, bruh. ''Classic'' Steven.
:'''Steven''': ''Classic Steven?''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Pearl gets tagged in Garnet and Amethyst's new game of Steven Tag]''
:'''Steven''': Ha! Joke's on you! Pearl doesn't shapeshift! ''[Pearl starts to glow]'' Huh?
:'''Pearl''': ''[shapeshifts into Steven]'' The power of Steven Tag COMPELS ME!
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckles]'' Wow. Good for her.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': It was a snowman… ''[takes off her visor]'' with Steven's jacket. NOOOOOO!
:'''Steven''': ''[shivering]'' They'll never stop until they make me play.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I really didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice. I ''JOIN'' THE GAME!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You shouldn't have messed with me. Huh? ''[gets tagged by Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': Tag.
:'''Steven''': ''[falls off the lighthouse]'' Oh, no. Is this the end of my adult life?

===''Why So Blue?''===
:'''Steven''' You're right. This is harder than usual.  
:'''Lapis''': You've just got to force them to stop. This is going to be a fight. They're not nice like me.  
:'''Steven''': Umm...  
:'''Lapis''': Exactly.  
:'''Steven''': They just don't understand that they're doing harm. Y-you get it. What made it click for you?  
:'''Lapis''': ''A cycle of horrible torture.'' ''[smiling]'' But other than that, living in nature, getting creative.
:'''Steven''': Yeah! Come on, we can do that for them.  
:'''Lapis''': Okay. Just a little torture.  
:'''Steven''': N-no, just the other stuff. 
:'''Lapis''': ''[sighs]'' Fine, we'll try it your way.
:''[They head back to the two Lapis Lazulis]'' 
:'''Steven''': Hey, so, why don't we explore the many things that you can do that don't involve destroying worlds?  
:'''&quot;Mean&quot; Lapis''': Should we listen to him?  
:'''&quot;Nice&quot; Lapis''': He is half-Diamond. Maybe, we should half-listen.  
:'''Steven''': I'll take that as a &quot;yes.&quot; Let's go. 

===''Little Graduation''===
:'''Lars''': ''[about Shep]'' Say hi to them for me.

===''Prickly Pair''===
:'''Cactus Steven''': I can't tell Pearl how I feel, 'cause she'd blame herself! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cactus Steven''': I can't hear any more high and mighty advice from Garnet! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cactus Steven''': I'm so sick of Amethyst acting like she's so mature now!
:'''Amethyst''': Why's it being so weirdly specific?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Hey, dude?
:'''Pearl''': Is there anything you need to talk about?
:'''Steven''': ''[softly]'' ... I think I've said enough.

===''In Dreams''===
:''[After Steven and Peridot have watched the'' Camp Pining Hearts ''reboot]''
:'''Steven''': Wha…? Wha…?!
:'''Steven and Peridot''': '''''WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!?!?'''''  
:'''Peridot''': What is with this Rodrigo guy?! He has no charisma!  
:'''Steven''': And can we talk about this cinematography?!  
:'''Peridot''': GAAAH, THEY'VE CHANGED ''ALL'' THE CHARACTERS, AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THEM! ''[grabs the television]'' HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! ''[sobs] Camp Pining Hearts'' helped me escape when everything around me was in chaos...  
:'''Steven''': ''CPH'' brought us together... 
:'''Peridot''': And now, LOOK AT THIS NIGHTMARE! ''[the TV suddenly shows Steven's dream]'' Steven?! You didn't tell me that they cast you!  
:'''Steven''': What?! They didn't. I-Is this... my dream from last night? ''[on the TV, after Steven falls and the dream ends, it goes back to'' Camp Pining Hearts ''again]'' Whoa! My- My powers must be interfering with the TV signal!  
:'''Peridot''': ''[delighted]'' Steven! Do you know what this means?!  
:'''Steven''': I have to start wearing a tinfoil hat?  
:'''Peridot''': No! It means that if we can put your dreams on the television, we can reboot the reboot!  
:'''Steven''': &quot;Reboot the...?&quot; Peridot, you're a genius!  
:'''Peridot''': I know.
:'''Steven''': And, well, it might be fun to fix something that isn't the entire universe.  
:'''Peridot''': ''[grabs him with one arm]'' This is going to be the beginning of Peridot and Steven Productions!  
:'''Steven''': Yeah-- whoa! ''[topples onto her]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Peridot! We've always had something to fix together - the Cluster, the Diamonds, or Spinel! I don't think I know how to be a friend without something to fix! But I... I just can't do it anymore! I'm so tired... Now I'm even doing it in my dreams! I'm sorry, I can't do this for you. Please don't leave! Don't... leave!
:''[The dream stops, in the manner of a TV turning off; Steven awakens, in tears, to Peridot's concerned voice]''
:'''Peridot''': Steven? Steven! STEVEN! Steven, I saw everything! It's-- It's fine! We don't have to do this anymore. ''[hugs him and starts tearing up]'' I don't care about the show, and I ''definitely'' don't care about Rodrigo! Hrrrgh, I'm such a clod!
:'''Steven''': But I really wanted to spend time with you! I just... wanted an excuse to hang out.
:'''Peridot''': We don't need an excuse to hang out.
:'''Steven''': Can... we still watch ''CPH'' together? Even if it sucks?
:'''Peridot''': ''[removes her visor to wipe her eyes, and smiles]'' Of course.
:''[Later, they watch the show]''
:'''Jasmine''': ''[in the show, angrily]'' How could you lie to me like that, Rodrigo?! I guess you just can't help being a bad person!
:''[Steven and Peridot laugh]''
:'''Peridot''': Jasmine, you just ''buried a body in the woods'', and now you're mad that Rodrigo cheated at ''cards?!''
:''[They laugh again]''
:'''Peridot''': This show is the worst!
:'''Steven''': ''[smiling warmly at her]'' This show is the best.

===''Bismuth Casual''===
:''[At the Starlight Roller Rink]''
:'''Bismuth''': Woooow! So you mean to tell me people pay to have wheels strapped to their feet for fun? That is really something else.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Patricia''': You should have seen Daniel earlier. He was all bent out of shape 'cos his mom tore into him over his last test scores!
:'''Daniel''': ''[groans]'' You know, I kind of forgot about it for a sec.
:'''Steven''': Heh... I know how that is. One time, White Diamond tore into me... literally! ''[laughs awkwardly]'' She, uh, she took my gem - I'm part Gem, by the way - she pulled it right out of my body.
:'''Daniel''': Okay...?
:'''Patricia''': So what grade are you in, Steven?
:'''Steven''': Grade? Err, uh... sixteen?
:'''Patricia''': ''[laughs]''
:'''Daniel''': So you're taking AP classes?
:'''Steven''': Uh...
:'''Connie''': Y'all ready to skate?
:'''Patricia''': Heck, yeah!
:''[Connie, Patricia and Daniel skate away]''
:'''Steven''': I really blew that one. Bet if they were enemy Gems, we'd be best friends by now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Pearl forms a roll of toilet paper from her gem and gives it to Bismuth]''
:'''Pearl''': Oh, here, take this. Every human has at least one of these in their homes. Sometimes they even use it ''[secretively]'' for vandalism! Good luck out there! ''[starts skating away]''
:'''Bismuth''': Wait, where are you going?
:'''Pearl''': You don't need me anymore, Bismuth - the humans already love you! I'm going to make some new connections of my own! ''[to a random skater]'' Hello, fellow skater! Would you like a fresh roll? ''[forms another roll]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': When Connie and I were fighting to save the universe, things were sort of easier. We were fighting the same fight. Now it's like we're living different lives. I wonder if I'm even her best friend anymore...
:'''Bismuth''': ''[pounds the table firmly]'' How long has this been going on?
:'''Steven''': Err... couple of months.
:'''Bismuth''': Listen, Steven. Pearl brought me here to set me up with her friends, but Connie came here to be with ''you.'' You've got nothing to mope about.
:'''Steven''': But her friends think I'm weird.
:'''Bismuth''': Of course you're weird! You're a Crystal Gem! Connie knows that, she's always known that! That never stopped you from being friends!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Steven collapses in the rink]''
:'''Connie''': Steven! Are you okay?
:'''Steven''': Connie, I'm sorry... I don't wanna hold you back.
:'''Connie''': I don't mind.
:'''Steven''': You've got school, new friends, you're going places and... I'm happy for you. But I feel like you're drifting away from me. I wish we could reconnect, but... BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SKATE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Steven and Connie win the skating contest as Stevonnie]''
:'''Patricia''': Steven, Connie, that was amazing!
:'''Daniel''': What the heck was that out there?
:'''Connie''': Oh, fusion? Yeah, that's kind of our thing.
:'''Steven''': It's something I picked up from my mom's side of the family.
:'''Daniel''': The only thing I get from my mom's side of the family is ''stressed out.''
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckles]'' Same...

===''Together Forever''===
:''[After Connie turns down Steven's proposal]''
:'''Steven''': I don't get it. Ruby and Sapphire said I should go for it.  
:'''Garnet''': You can't trust love advice from those two hopeless romantics.  
:'''Steven''': Then why didn't you stop me?  
:'''Garnet''': There was no future where you didn't propose to Connie.  
:'''Steven''': Of course...
:'''Garnet''': ''[hugs him]'' Your soulmate is your complement, not your missing piece. Ruby and Sapphire love being together, but they each have their own individual lives. Whatever hole there is in your life, Steven, I want you to understand that Connie-Stevonnie won't be able to fill it.

===''Growing Pains''===
:'''Priyanka''': Steven, do you remember anything bad in your childhood that particularly stuck with you?
:'''Steven''': I guess…I kind of freaked out when they [[w:Gem Glow|cancelled my favorite ice cream]]. And then I got attacked by a giant bug monster. And I got trapped in a bubble and almost drowned. I lost control of my body and turned into a blob of cats. I almost turned so old I died. Amethyst almost died. Pearl [[w:Steven the Sword Fighter|''did'' die]]. Garnet got destabilized right in front of me. I woke up with a black eye, [[w:Jail Break (Steven Universe)|imprisoned on a spaceship]]--
:'''Priyanka''': Steven, this is serious.
:'''Steven''': But that was just the early stuff.
:'''Priyanka''': I think all these experiences have been subjecting your body to a harmful amount of stress, and that's affecting your ability to respond to new forms of stress in a healthy way. You've been dealing with genuine threats from such a young age, your body is now responding to minor threats as if your life were in danger.
:'''Steven''': But, why am I only swelling up now?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Greg''': Come on, Steven, talk to me.
:'''Steven''': ''[tearing up]'' I... well... I, um... I proposed to Connie!
:'''Greg''': You what?!
:'''Steven''': She said no.
:'''Greg''': Oh, Steven...
:'''Steven''': My body... it's reacting like it's the end of the world. I think I've seen the world almost end so many times now that ''everything'' that goes wrong feels that... that extreme! I should be feeling so good these days! The Earth is safe, it's Era 3... But I'm swelling up over these third era problems! What do I do? How do I move on from all the stuff I've been through? How do I live life if it always feels like I'm about to die?!
:'''Greg''': It's gonna be all right, Stewball. I'm here for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I guess I thought I could just follow Connie to college, like if we got married I'd know what to do with myself. But I'm the one that's gotta figure that stuff out.
:'''Greg''': Cut yourself some slack! It's okay to be worried and make some mistakes when you're figuring out what to do with your life. That's not unusual. Uh, well, the magic swelling is a little unusual, but that's okay too! If you want to be a giant boy, we can use the car wash as a shower.

=== ''Mr. Universe'' ===
:'''Steven''': I don't need this song! I need...I need what you had!
:'''Greg''': What?
:'''Steven''': I wish I could've grown up at a house like that.
:'''Greg''': No you don't!
:'''Steven''': Maybe your parents weren't so bad. Maybe they gave you curfews and chaperones and meatloaf f-for a reason!
:'''Greg''': Steven, you don't know what they were like!
:'''Steven''': They can't be worse then mom's family. I went halfway across the galaxy for them, and this was right here?!
:'''Greg''': Steven, I couldn't do anything growing up. Everything I liked, or wore, wanted was always wrong! Trust me, you're better off then I was.
:'''Steven''': I can't believe I never realized, you're... you're just like Mom! ''[turns pink as his grip tightens on the steering wheel]''
:'''Greg''': You grew up with actual freedom!
:'''Steven''': I grew up in a ''van!'' I never went to school! I've never been to the doctor until two days ago!
:'''Greg''': Steven! You're a gem! You're not like other kids!
:'''Steven''': I could have done all that stuff! My problem isn't that I'm a gem, my problem is that I'm a ''UNIVERSE!!''

===''Fragments''===
:'''Pearl''': How could this happen? You crashed the van with Greg inside? You know how fragile he is, these pink outbursts of yours are getting out of hand.
:'''Steven''': It's not an ''[turns pink]'' OUTBURST!
:'''Pearl''': See? This is exactly what I'm talking about! What's happening to you?
:'''Steven''': Nothing! ...It's nothing.
:'''Pearl''': S-Steven! Where are you going?! We're not pro- ''[Steven summons out a generated force field]'' Steven! Drop this wall!
:'''Steven''': Pearl, sorry. I'm trying- I just… need… some space, OK? I'll be in my room.
:'''Amethyst''': Not so fast, my dude. You gotta tell us what's going on.
:'''Garnet''': It looks like Steven is trying to avoid a serious discussion about this ''all'' together.
:'''Steven''': '''NO, I'M''' &lt;big&gt;'''NOT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[slams his fist into the stairs, unleashing a room-wrecking shockwave]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven, you have got to calm down and talk to us!
:'''Amethyst''': Just chill, man!
:'''Steven''': Nnghh…
:'''Pearl''': We need to do something about this before someone gets hurt!
:'''Steven''': NNGGHH…
:'''Garnet''': Don't let this power control you. You're better than this.
:'''Steven''': NNGGHH… &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[notices the Gems are walking in slow-motion]'' I'm…speeding up again. I gotta get out of here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': This thing with my powers is a real problem!
:'''Jasper''': The only problem you have are your friends.
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Jasper''': Can't you see they're holding you back?
:'''Steven''': What? No, they're-- they're just worried about me.
:'''Jasper''': They're afraid. Of your power.
:'''Steven''': Yeah... yeah, I guess so...
:'''Jasper''': You are too. You came all the way out here to hide from it. But ''I'm'' not here to hide. I don't stifle my anger or my power; I channel it into training!
:'''Steven''': Oh, right... this destroyed forest.
:'''Jasper''': I've got no one to serve, nowhere to go. All I have left is '''''POWER!''' [she punches a tree, completely smashing it apart]'' And in order to control that power, I have to ''use'' it. Those so-called &quot;friends&quot; of yours don't understand. They want you to feel bad for being yourself.
:'''Steven''': I ''do'' feel bad… ''[steps over to another tree and punches it, cringing in pain and remorse]''
:'''Jasper''': YEAH, DESTROY THAT WEAKLING TREE!
:'''Steven''': No! ''[kisses the tree, healing it and making grass sprout around it]''
:'''Jasper''': Ugh! Gross! That's disgusting! Bleh! No! The grass! ''[tears at it]'' Get outta here! ''[grabs Steven]'' Quit helping the local ecosystem recover!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[On Steven's new, more muscular form]''
:'''Jasper''': Hm. Not bad for three days of work. ''[Steven kisses one of his biceps]'' I didn't teach you that…

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': What are you holding back for?! You think I can't take it? I'm not gonna coddle you, Steven! Do you wanna go home to your gems?
:'''Steven''': No…
:'''Jasper''': Are you afraid to be strong? Are you pathetic? Are you ''weak?''
:'''Steven''': &lt;big&gt;'''''I'M NOT!!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You're right, Jasper. I ''have'' been holding back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Having shattered Jasper after losing control in their rematch, Steven hurries back to his bathroom and dips the fragments into Diamond aura potions]''
:'''Steven''': Please, please let this work! ''[crying]'' Jasper, I'm sorry. Please… come back. ''[his tears add Pink's aura to the mix]'' Please…
:''[After a while, Jasper's gem glows and heals, and she reforms]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[panting]'' Huh? What? You... ''shattered'' me?
:'''Steven''': Jasper! I-I'm so sorry, I should have stopped! I-I just wasn't thinking!  
:'''Jasper''': ''[steps out of the bathtub and bows on one knee]'' I bow to your strength… ''my Diamond.''  
:'''Steven''': ''[horrified]'' No...!

===''Homeworld Bound''===
:'''Pearl''': ''[knocks on the bathroom door]'' Steven?
:'''Amethyst''': What's going on in there? ''[Jasper emerges]'' Jasper?!
:'''Pearl''': What are you-?
:'''Amethyst''': Where's Steven?!
:'''Jasper''': Right here. ''[steps aside, revealing him looking scared and depressed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven? Where have you been?!
:''[Steven walks off upstairs to his conservatory]''
:'''Pearl''': You can't just disappear for days without telling us!
:'''Jasper''': My Diamond can do has he pleases.
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, what?!
:'''Pearl''': Why are you calling him that?!
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:'''Pearl''': Where is he going?!
:''[The Gems follow Steven to his conservatory]''
:'''Pearl''': Steven, wait!
:'''Garnet''': You don't need to go.
:''[Steven turns pink and puts a barrier in front of the Gems as he sighs]''
:'''Amethyst''': What the HECK?!
:'''Steven''': You guys… I love you, but you ''can't'' help me anymore. I've been avoiding the only people in the entire universe who can. Please, don't follow me. You too, Jasper. Find something better to do with your life.
:'''Garnet''': Steven! Remember, we'll always be your family.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Spinel''': STEVEN! ''[grabs him and kisses him]''
:'''Steven''': ''[turning pink]'' Spinel, what is wrong with you?!
:'''Spinel''': Oh, y'know, the usual.
:'''Steven''': ''[turning back to normal]'' So, how've you been since, err...?
:'''Spinel''': Since I tried to kill you? That was so embarrassing.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[controlling White Diamond]'' Whoa. This is… so weird. I'm-I'm, I'm a Diamond. This- This is the last thing I needed to see. I don't wanna be you! I don't wanna be anything like you! Why won't you just go '''AWAY?!''' ''[punches a pillar]'' Don't hurt me! She can't hurt me. I'm controlling her. So why am I so afraid? ''[flashes back to his memory of White pulling his gemstone out; scowls angrily]'' '''''She's''''' the one who should be afraid.
:'''White Diamond''': ''[talking in Steven's voice]'' What's- what's going on? ''[Steven starts controlling her like a puppet]'' What? No, stop it. I don't like this!
:'''Steven''': Too bad. ''[force controls White by walking toward a pillar]''
:'''White Diamond''': Let me go! ''[grabs hold of the pillar]'' Please! You're scaring me!
:'''Steven''': This is for EVERYTHING you put me through! ''[forces White Diamond’s head to slam into the pillar, in an attempt to shatter her gemstone, instead, snaps them out of it and hits his own head, allowing White Diamond to regain her control again]''
:'''White Diamond''': ''[breathing; horrified]'' What… what ''was'' that?!
:'''Steven''': I-I don't know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Spinel''': Hey, buddy, where you going?
:'''Steven''': Wait a second - ''you'' used to have vengeful thoughts!
:'''Spinel''': ''[awkwardly]'' Ooooh, yeah... but I don't get 'em anymore.
:'''Steven''': How did you make them stop?
:'''Spinel''': I met a little someone named Steven Universe! And he told me: ''[singing]'' [[w:Steven Universe: The Movie|IIIIII, I can make a chaaaaange! You can make a promise...]]
:'''Steven''': Gah! Don't give me my own advice!

===''Everything's Fine''===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Connie, what's up?
:'''Connie''': Steven! Good, you finally picked up! I can't believe we haven't spoken since the hospital. How are you?
:'''Steven''': I'm great! Never been better!
:'''Connie''': Really? Have you had any more issues with swelling and glowing pink?
:'''Steven''': Um... Nope? Well, maybe, but how about you? How's college prep?
:'''Connie''': Steven, that's, uh- It's fine, but what do you mean, maybe?
:'''Steven''': Look, there's nothing to worry about. I'm OK.
:'''Connie''': Steven...
:'''Steven''': I should go. I don't wanna wake up the Gems.
:'''Connie''': But they don't even sleep!
:'''Steven''': Uh, bye!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While trying to help in Bismuth's workshop]''
:'''Steven''': Ooh, look at that. Now you have ''two'' anvils.
:'''Bismuth''': Noooo! My anvil! My beautiful anvil!
:'''Steven''': Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, my work here is done. Well, toodles!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Steven!
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Connie''': I knew it! You ''are'' swelling and glowing again. I've been trying to call you, but I came as soon as I saw this. ''[holds out her phone, on which Steven, glowing and swelled up, is doing the plant Steven's dance and looping the message &quot;Steven's here to help!&quot;]'' What is going on?
:'''Steven''': I... broadcast my subconscious sometimes these days. It's really no big deal.
:'''Connie''': Okay, but... I can tell something is bothering you. ''[holds out her phone again; the message makes some statics]''
:'''Steven''': Ah, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine! Awesome, in fact. Come on, you've seen me when I wasn't doing well.
:'''Greg''': Steven, if being like this is what you want, then we'll support you one hundred percent. Whatever makes you happy. But, if you're not happy, if something's wrong-
:'''Steven''': Nothing's wrong! Besides, I don't want you to worry.
:'''Connie''': We ''are'' worried!
:'''Greg''': Steven, you know you can tell us anything.
:'''Steven''': It's not that easy! You know what? I don't have to deal with this! ''[walks towards the door, but Amethyst, Pearl, and Connie block his way]''
:'''Amethyst''': Hold up, dude.
:'''Garnet''': Steven, you need to stop running.
:'''Greg''': Please.
:''[Steven starts groaning in frustration, his head briefly swelling out of shape]''
:'''Connie''': Steven, we should get you back to the hospital.
:'''Amethyst and Pearl''': HOSPITAL?!
:'''Pearl''': When were you in the hospital?!
:'''Connie''': You didn't tell them?!
:'''Steven''': 	''[becoming hysterical, starting to laugh uneasily]'' It wasn't that important, you guys! You're making a big deal out of nothing. Have I done some things wrong? Sure! I trashed the house today, I broke an anvil - what teenager hasn't? Dad and I had a little disagreement, but that's practically a rite of passage! I mean, it would be weird if we didn't, right? And ''maybe'' I've had a not-so-nice thought or two about, like, you know, slamming White Diamond's head through a pillar, but it's not like I actually went through with it! I only ''actually'' shattered Jasper!
:''[Pearl gasps in horrified shock]''
:'''Amethyst''': WHAT?!
:''[Garnet, Connie, and Greg gasp]''
:'''Connie''': You're- you're joking, right?
:'''Steven''': Oh, don't worry! I fixed that too! I can fix ''anything!'' I can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it!
:'''Garnet''': Steven...
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs as he finally loses it]'' How messed up is that? That I've gotten away with this for so long? You have ''no'' idea how bad I am! Y-You think I'm so great, and I'm so mature, and I always know what to do! But ''that's'' not true! I haven't learned a thing from my problems! They've all just made me worse! You all think of me as some angel, but I'm not that kid anymore! ''[close-up on his scowl]'' I'm a fraud. ''[falls to the floor as his breaths become shaky]'' I'm a fraud. I'm a MONSTER! ''[massive pink spikes burst out of his back, tearing his shirt with everyone taking  a step back, with plain terror]''

===''I Am My Monster''===
:'''Greg''': ''[calling out]'' Just calm down, son! Take deep breaths! Deep breaths!
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah! Relax, buddy!
:'''Peridot''': Let's hurry up and clobber that thing!
:'''Garnet''': Stand down.
:'''Peridot''': What for?!
:'''Lapis''': Where's Steven?
:'''Garnet''': That ''is'' Steven.
:'''Peridot, Bismuth, &amp; Lapis''': ''[shocked]'' '''WHAT?!'''
:''[Monster Steven bashes his head against the cliff of the temple, causing an avalanche of boulders to fall]''
:'''Garnet''': RUN!
:'''Amethyst''': He's not listening to us at all!
:'''Pearl''': What happened to him? First, he says he's a shatterer and then he's turned into this...''thing''!
:'''Connie''': We can change him back, can't we?
:'''Garnet''': As long as he believes he's a monster, he'll ''stay'' one.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Spinel''': ''[jumps out of the Diamond ship, holding Steven's flip flop]'' You forgot your foot thong thingy! ''[sees Steven as a monster]'' OOOH, OH!
:''[The Diamonds walk out of the ship]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What is going on here?
:'''White Diamond''': Why is something like this ''always'' happening when we show up for a visit?
:'''Blue Diamond''': What is that thing?
:'''Garnet''': That &quot;thing&quot; is Steven.
:''[Blue, White Diamond, and Spinel gasp in shock]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': WHAT?!
:'''White Diamond''': Impossible!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Is he corrupted?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': But how?
:'''Garnet''': Never mind that. We have to change him back.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Leave it to me. ''[she catches Monster Steven's head in an energy aura and tries to shrink it down, only for it to revert back immediately, to her confusion]'' With my new power, I should be able to alter his physical form.
:'''Blue Diamond''': He's resisting. Maybe he needs to feel better first. I can help with that. ''[she sends a cloud of joy towards Monster Steven, but he blows it right back]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Look out! ''[the cloud hits her and Spinel, and they start laughing uncontrollably]'' Wow! Your new power didn't work either!
:'''White Diamond''': ''[pushes Yellow and Blue aside and approaches Monster Steven]'' Enough. I know exactly how to help. If I connect with him and he speaks through me, maybe we'll understand what he's going through. Now then, do you hear me, Steven? ''[her gem glows and the atmosphere's colors change]'' Just relax and let me in… Wait-- ''[her eyes glow, and she cries out and falls back as Yellow and Blue catch her]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': White!
:'''Blue Diamond''': What happened?!
:'''White Diamond''': ''[horrified]'' That's ''not'' Steven anymore!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Guys, look! The Cluster is trying to hold Steven back!
:'''Peridot''': I can't believe it! He's even stronger than the Cluster!
:'''Bismuth''': Don't let your guard down. He could break free at any moment!
:'''Pearl''': Deep inside this…monster, Steven must be in there, so angry.
:'''Amethyst''': I knew something was going on. I- Why didn't I ''do'' something?!
:'''Sapphire''': ''[crying]'' If we don't get through to him, he'll stay like this ''forever!'' ''[starts sobbing along with Ruby while Lapis watches]''
:'''Amethyst''': ''[to Greg as he takes a few steps back]'' Dude, you should get outta here before you get hurt!
:'''Greg''': ''[stomps his foot]'' NO! Everytime Gem stuff happens, I run the other way! This is ''my'' son! And he's right to be angry, because I didn't protect him!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[tearing up; crying]'' You didn't protect him from us! He's like this because of us!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[crying]'' ''We're'' the source of Steven's suffering!
:'''Spinel''': ''[breaks down, sobbing hysterically and blowing her nose into her pigtails]'' THIS IS ''MY'' FAULT!
:'''White Diamond''': ''[crying]'' Spinel, don't be silly. Everyone knows that all of this is because of ''me!''
:'''Spinel''': No, it's ME! I tried to wipe his friends' memories, so he would die alone on a barren world!
:'''White Diamond''': ''[crying and sobbing]'' That was because you were angry with Pink! And if Pink hurt you, it was because ''I'' hurt ''her!'' Like I hurt Yellow and Blue and Steven and everyone in the entire universe! This is all ''my'' fault!
:'''Connie''': YES, it is! ''[rides in on Lion]'' Yes, you hurt him, but this isn't the time to make this all about you! That is not helping! Maybe Steven would care how sad you are, because he always puts everyone else's feelings first! But he can't do that for you right now, because he needs ''us'' this time! We all have Steven when we needed him. But the only person who's never had Steven is Steven! He's ''always'' been there for us, so… how can we be there for him now?
:''[Ruby and Sapphire smile and fuse back into Garnet]''
:'''Garnet''': I know how. 
:''[Monster Steven breaks free of the Cluster's hand, defeats it and charges at the beach]''
:'''Garnet''': Okay! No time to waste. Yellow, make me as big as him!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Right.
:'''Garnet''': Blue, lift everyone up!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Of course.
:'''Garnet''': Everyone, get in line!
:'''Greg''': You got it!
:'''Garnet''': It's time to show Steven… some love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': ''[hugging her arms tightly around Monster Steven while he's struggling; calmly]'' Steven, when I fell apart, you were there for me. I want to be there for ''you'' now. I'm here, Steven. I'm here.
:'''Lapis''': This is working? You hear us? Steven! ''[comes and hugs him]''
:''[Everyone comes in for the hug too]''
:'''Greg''': I'm here, Schtu-Ball! Whatever you need, I'll make it happen! You hear me?!
:'''Peridot''': Steven! You never gave up on me for some reasons I don't understand! I'll do the same for you!
:'''Amethyst''': I know you feel bad! Believe me, I get it! Sometimes it feels like you're never gonna like yourself but… it's possible, man!
:'''Pearl''': Steven, I know how awful it feels to keep a part of yourself secret! You shouldn't have to hide anything from me!
:''[Monster Steven stammers emotionally, and the Cluster's hand reappears and takes his]''
:'''Connie''': ''[jumps off Lion's head and lands on Monster Steven's nose, walks closer to his face and hugs him; sighs]'' Steven… you must have been ''so'' afraid to show us this side of yourself. But we're not going anywhere. We're all gonna take care of you the same way you took care of us. You know what? I don't have your powers, but… ''[kisses him with a pink droplet appearing]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up, back to his normal human-self, still crying]'' Huh? ''[looks and sees everyone smiling at him]'' Wha…I… Did-Did I-I'm- ''[Lion pops up and licks him; chuckling]'' Lion. ''[hugs Lion]'' Lion! ''[begins sobbing, letting out his emotions]''

===''The Future''===
:'''Jasper''': ''[bursts through the wall, staying aloof]'' Heard you’re leaving. ''[faces at Steven]'' I’m coming with you!
:'''Steven''': Jasper, I’m going ''alone.''
:'''Jasper''': Then who will protect you?!
:'''Steven''': I can protect myself.
:'''Jasper''': ''[sighs disappointingly, scowls]'' I know. ''[punches a hole in the ground and looks the opposite direction]'' Farewell, my Diamond. ''[headbutts the wall, creating another Jasper-shaped hole next to the previous one, walks through it]''
:'''Steven''': Whoa! Even Jasper's more upset than my own family! Maybe I need a round two?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Garnet''': I couldn't resist looking into your future. I peeked, and I saw a possibility that our tears would keep you from leaving. But I also saw many paths ahead of you, and we are a part of ''all'' of them. Wherever you end up, we will visit you to talk, to listen, to be there – whenever you need us. We love you, Steven.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
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  <page>
    <title>Daniella Monet</title>
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      <text bytes="2112" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Daniella Monet in 2019.png|thumb|For as long I can remember, acting and animal activism have made me feel alive and purposeful.]]

'''[[w:Daniella Monet|Daniella Monet Zuvic]]''' (born [[1 March]] [[1989]]) is an American actress and singer, who is best known for portraying {{w|Trina Vega}} on ''[[Victorious]]'', [[w:List of Zoey 101 characters#Rebecca Martin|Rebecca Martin]] on ''[[Zoey 101]]'', and Bertha throughout the [[w:Fred Figglehorn|Fred]] series. She was the host of ''[[w:AwesomenessTV (TV series)|AwesomenessTV]]'' from 2013 to 2015, and was also the host of ''{{w|Paradise Run}}'' from 2016 to 2018.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* I went [[Vegetarianism|vegetarian]] at about 5 years old when I visited a [[w:Guest ranch|Dude Ranch]] with my family and saw a rodeo. It was traumatizing and I made a conscious decision at that age to never eat animals again. When I started middle school, I read a book that exposed a lot of the truth about the food industry and encouraged a healthful lifestyle through a guide to living [[Veganism|vegan]]. It was a mostly simple transition that made me feel so much better about myself, inside and out. … For as long I can remember, acting and animal activism have made me feel alive and purposeful … I would love to see more organizations coming together. Sometimes it’s tricky to understand everyone’s opinions. We all have so many of the same intentions, it’d be awesome to see more support for one another amongst the community.
** [https://loveveg.com/celebs-who-love-veg-our-interview-with-daniella-monet/ &quot;Celebs Who Love Veg: Our Interview with Daniella Monet&quot;, LoveVeg.com (1 March 2019)].

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

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== Request! ==

Quotes from:
*You've got to be a Senator before you can be a statesman by(?) Scoop Jackson (D-WA)
*[[Across the Wall]] by: [[Garth Nix]]
*[[The Heart Reader]] by: [[Terri Blackstock]]
*[[The Romance of the Three Kingdoms]] by: [[Luo Guanzhong]]
*[[Janitors]] or [[Custodians]] in occupations

==The Virgin Queen==
[[The Virgin Queen]]
[[Zaboo]]
[[Agent Under Fire]]
[[Jayla]]
[[Bre]]
[[Nik]]
[[Kim]] ANTM
[[Jamie Foxx]]
[[Black Panther Party]]
[[Elle Fanning]]
[[Dragon Tales]]
[[Georgie Henley]]

== On Bidding for Contracts ==
There is a quote about when participating in a competitive bidding process that goes something like &quot;The losers are wondering somethingorother, and the winner is wondering what he calculated wrong&quot;. I tried various searches here and on google and couldn't find anything, maybe someone who remembers more of the quote can develop this further? I would have created a stub, but this seems to vague to warrant it yet. -- matt at lackof org 2006/01/23
: What about &quot;The winners are planning their future, the losers are wondering about theirs.&quot; Found via [http://books.google.com/books?id=npVYAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22The+losers+are+wondering%22+winners&amp;dq=%22The+losers+are+wondering%22+winners&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=rFa7TPu0Lp6O4gaX3aHNDg&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=2&amp;ved=0CCoQ6AEwAQ Google Books] [[User:Jodi.a.schneider|Jodi.a.schneider]] 20:06, 17 October 2010 (UTC)
:: I have heard something like this before, but can't quite place it either. The basic idea is that the winning bidder will be the bidder who bids the lowest (i.e., will do the work for the least amount of money). If the winning bidder is just slightly below the next losing bidder, then they have calculated well, but if they are far below the next losing bidder, then they could have bid higher than they did and still won the contract. In that case, what the losing bidder is left wondering is which of the costs going into their bid they underestimated, to be able to charge that much less. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 15:31, 28 September 2015 (UTC)

== Tons Of Great Quotes For You To Use! ==

:''NOTE: This text was moved from [[Talk:Main Page]] and a signature and timestamp added.'' ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 13:59, 25 January 2006 (UTC)

===[[Thomas Jefferson]]===
Sometimes It is Said that Man Connot be Trusted With the Government of Himself. Can He Then Be Trusted With the Government of Others?

The Spirit of Resistance to Government is So Valuable on Certain Occasions, That I Wish It to be Always Kept Alive.

When the Government Fears the People, There is Liberty; When the People Fear the Government, There is Tyranny

The policy of the American government is to leave its citizens free, neither restraining them nor aiding them in their pursuits.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

The general government will tend to monarchy, which will fortify itself from day to day, instead of working its own cures.

Cherish therefore the spirit of our people, and keep alive their attention. Do not be too severe upon their errors, but reclaim them by enlightening them. If once they become inattentive to the public affairs, you and I, and Congress, and Assemblies, judges and governors shall all become wolves....

Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms [of government] those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny. -- Bill for the More General diffusion of Knowledge (1778).

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.

Laws that forbid the carrying of arms... disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man. --- In &quot;Commonplace Book,&quot; 1774-1776, quoting from On Crimes and Punishment, by criminologist Cesare Beccaria, 1764

A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be the constant companion of your walks. -- To Peter Carr, 1785. The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, (Memorial Edition) Lipscomb and Bergh, editors.

We established however some, although not all its [self-government] important principles . The constitutions of most of our States assert, that all power is inherent in the people; that they may exercise it by themselves, in all cases to which they think themselves competent, (as in electing their functionaries executive and legislative, and deciding by a jury of themselves, in all judiciary cases in which any fact is involved,) or they may act by representatives, freely and equally chosen; that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed. --- Thomas Jefferson to John Cartwright, 1824. Memorial Edition 16:45, Lipscomb and Bergh, editors.

For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so, a well organized and armed militia is their best security. -- Eighth Annual Message, November 8, 1808

Those who don't read the newspapers are better off than those who do insofar as those who know nothing are better off than those whose heads are filled with half-truths and lies.

One loves to possess arms, though they hope never to have occasion for them. --- Thomas Jefferson to George Washington, 1796. The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, (Memorial Edition) Lipscomb and Bergh

===[[Patrick Henry]]===

&quot;Power is the great evil with which we are contending. We have divided power between three branches of government and erected checks and balances to prevent abuse of power. However, where is the check on the power of the judiciary? If we fail to check the power of the judiciary, I predict that we will eventually live under judicial tyranny.&quot; - Patrick Henry

the people have a right to keep and bear arms. -- Patrick Henry and George Mason, Elliot, Debates at 185.

Are we at last brought to such humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our defense? Where is the difference between having our arms in possession and under our direction, and having them under the management of Congress? If our defense be the real object of having those arms, in whose hands can they be trusted with more propriety, or equal safety to us, as in our own hands? -- Patrick Henry, 3 J. Elliot, Debates in the Several State Conventions 45, 2d ed. Philadelphia, 1836

The great object is that every man be armed. Everyone who is able might have a gun. -- Patrick Henry, 3 Elliot, Debates at 386.

O sir, we should have fine times, indeed, if, to punish tyrants, it were only sufficient to assemble the people! Your arms, wherewith you could defend yourselves, are gone... Did you ever read of any revolution in a nation... inflicted by those who had no power at all? -- Patrick Henry, Elliot p. 3:50-53, in Virginia Ratifying Convention

Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ruined. -- Patrick Henry, during Virginia's Convention to Ratify the Constitution (1788)

Have we the means of resisting disciplined armies, when our only defense, the militia, is put in the hands of Congress? Of what service would militia be to you when, most probably, you will not have a single musket in the state? For, as arms are to be provided by Congress, they may or may not provide them. -- Patrick Henry, 3 Elliot Debates at 48

===Others===
If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government --and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws. -- [[Edward Abbey]] in Abbey's Road, p.39 (Plume, 1979)

If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquillity of servitude than the animating contest of freedom—go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen! - [[Samuel Adams]]

If we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom. - Samuel Adams

All that is essential for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. -- Edmund Burke

What Good Fortune It is For Governments That People Do Not Think - Adolf Hitler

Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty...of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers.  John Jay, First Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. -- [[Abraham Lincoln]]

No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation. -- General [[Douglas MacArthur]]

If we will not be governed by God, then we will be ruled by tyrants. - [[William Penn]]

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. -- [[Voltaire]], 1764

Without either the first or second amendment, we would have no liberty; the first allows us to find out what's happening, the second allows us to do something about it! The second will be taken away first, followed by the first and then the rest of our freedoms. -- [[Andrew Ford]]

On April 18, 1775 John Adams and John Hancock were at the home of Rev. Jonas Clarke, a Lexington pastor and militia leader. That same night Paul Revere arrived to warn them of the approaching Redcoats. The next morning British Major Pitcairn shouted to an assembled regiment of Minutemen; &quot;Disperse, ye villains, lay down your arms in the name of George the Sovereign King of England.&quot;
The immediate response of Rev. Jonas Clarke or one of his company was: &quot;We recognize no Sovereign but God and no King but Jesus.&quot;
The motto of the American Revolution became “No King but King Jesus”

This country belongs to the people and whenever they shall grow weary of their government they can exercise their constitutional right to amend it, or revolutionary right to dismember it or overthrow it. -- [[Abraham Lincoln]]

If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege. -- ''[[w:Wilson v. State|Wilson v. State]]'', 33 Ark. 557, 560 (1878)

The militia is a voluntary force not associated or under the control of the States except when called out; [ when called into actual service] a permanent or long standing force would be entirely different in make-up and call. -- [[Alexander Hamilton]] in Federalist Paper No. 28

I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials. -- [[George Mason]], 3 Elliot, Debates at 425-426.

An instance within the memory of some of this house will show us how our militia may be destroyed. Forty years ago, when the resolution of enslaving America was formed in Great Britain, the British Parliment was advised by an artful man, who was governor of Pennsylvania, to disarm the people; that is was the best and most effectual way to enslave them; but that they should not do it openly, but weaken them, and let them sink gradually, by totally disusing and neglecting the militia. -- [[George Mason]] at the Virginia Ratification Convention, June 14, 1788

Whereas, to preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them; nor does it follow from this, that all promiscuously must go into actual service on every occasion. The mind that aims at a select militia, must be influenced by a truly anti-republican principle; and when we see many men disposed to practice upon it, whenever they can prevail, no wonder true republicans are for carefully guarding against it. -- [[Richard Henry Lee]], The Pennsylvania Gazette, Feb. 20, 1788.

A militia, when properly formed, are in fact the people themselves...and include all men capable of bearing arms. -- Richard Henry Lee, Additional Letters from the Federal Farmer (1788) at 169.

The militia is the natural defense of a free country against foreign invasions, domestic insurrections, and domestic usurpations of power by rulers. The right of citizens to keep and bear arms has justly been considered as the palladium of liberties of the republic, since it offers a strong moral check against the usurpation and arbitrary power of rulers, and will generally, even if these are successful in the first instance, enable the people to resist and triumph over them. -- U.S. Supreme Court Justice [[Joseph Story]], Commentaries on the Constitution of the U.S., Book III at 746 (1833)

What, Sir, is the use of a militia? It is to prevent the establishment of a standing army, the bane of liberty .... Whenever Governments mean to invade the rights and liberties of the people, they always attempt to destroy the militia, in order to raise an army upon their ruins. -- Representative [[Elbridge Gerry]] of Massachusetts, spoken during floor debate over the Second Amendment, I Annals of Congress at 750, August 17, 1789

The power of the sword, say the minority of Pennsylvania, is in the hands of Congress. My friends and countrymen, it is not so, for the powers of the sword are in the hands of the yeomanry of America from sixteen to sixty. The militia of these free commonwealths, entitled and accustomed to their arms, when compared with any possible army, must be tremendous and irresistible. Who are the militia? Are they not ourselves? Is it feared, then, that we shall turn our arms each man against his own bosom? Congress have no power to disarm the militia. Their swords, and every other terrible implement of the soldier, are the birth-right of an American...[T]he unlimited power of the sword is not in the hands of either the federal or state governments, but, where I trust in God it ever will remain, in the hands of the people. -- [[Tench Coxe]] in the Pennsylvania Gazette, Feb. 20, 1788.

-- [[User:4.242.6.184|4.242.6.184]] 08:09, 25 January 2006 (UTC)

==[[Social Engineering]]==

:''&quot;The art of Deception&quot;'' [[Kevin Mitnick]]

:''&quot;Amateurs hack systems, professionals hack people&quot;'' [[Bruce Schneier]]

:''&quot;Coheed and Cambria&quot;'' Lyrics

==[[God-sized hole]]==

* The quote goes something like &quot;There is a god-sized hole in man's psyche.&quot;  It's almost always attributed to Sartre, but I can't find anywhere that says where he said it or wrote it, or what the original french was.

A first attempt at an answer:
Regarding the attribution of the “God-sized hole” as coming from Sartre. After a non-exhaustive search in both English and French, I found a couple of plausible sources that make the attribution problematic. Here are my quick (and most definitely not authoritative) translations, followed by the original texts pasted from the internet sources. I

On Wikipedia (French) (http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Paul_Sartre)
 
«Man is defined by consciousness [conscience] (the for-self that is opposed to the in-self). For all consciousness is the consciousness of something (the idea of intentionality, taken up from Husserl). Man is therefore fundamentally open to the world, “incomplete,” “turned towards,” existing [existent] (projected outside the self): there is in him a nothingness, a “hole in the being” susceptible to receiving objects from the world. Consciousness is that which never coincides with oneself, that which is the power of [making]-nothingness [nihilism?] (that is to say negation, that is to say action) thanks to the imagination (which can think that which does not exist). Consciousness makes the project possible.»

http://yves.frisch.free.fr/lfic.php?fic=sartre

«I asked myself every minute what I could be in the eyes of God. At present, I do not know the answer. God does not see me, God does not hear me, God does not know me. You see that emptiness [space, vacuum] above our heads? This is God again. Silence is God. Absence is God. God is the solitude of men. There was only me: I alone have decided [about] Evil; alone I invented Good. It is I who have cheated, I who have performed miracles,  it is I who accuses [condemns] myself today, I alone who can absolve myself; myself, man. If God exists, man is nothingness.»
(purportedly from Le diable et le bon Dieu (1951), Act III, p. 228)

Le diable et le bon Dieu (1951)
Je me demandais à chaque minute ce que je pouvais être aux yeux de Dieu. A présent je connais la réponse: rien. Dieu ne me voit pas, Dieu ne m'entend pas, Dieu ne me connaît pas. Tu vois ce vide au-dessus de nos têtes ? C'est Dieu. Tu vois cette brèche dans la porte? C'est Dieu. Tu vois ce trou dans la terre ? C'est Dieu encore. Le silence c'est Dieu. L'absence c'est Dieu. Dieu c'est la solitude des hommes. Il n'y avait que moi: J'ai décidé seul du Mal; seul, j'ai inventé le Bien. C'est moi qui ai triché, moi qui ai fait des miracles, c'est moi qui m'accuse aujourd'hui, moi seul peut m'absoudre; moi, l'homme. Si Dieu existe, l'homme est néant; ... (Acte III p.228)
http://yves.frisch.free.fr/lfic.php?fic=sartre

0. L'Homme est défini par la conscience (le pour-soi qui s'oppose à l'en-soi). Or toute conscience est conscience de quelque chose (idée d'intentionnalité reprise de Husserl). L'Homme est donc fondamentalement ouvert sur le monde, « incomplet », « tourné vers », existant (projeté hors de soi) : il y a en lui un néant, un « trou dans l'être » susceptible de recevoir les objets du monde.
La conscience est ce qui ne coïncide jamais avec soi-même, ce qui est puissance de néantisation (c'est-à-dire de négation, c'est-à-dire d'action) grâce à l'imagination (elle peut penser ce qui n'est pas). La conscience rend donc le projet possible.
http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Paul_Sartre

* See ''The Yale Book of Quotations,'' page 584, for the source of this expression in Pascal.
Fred R. Shapiro, Editor, ''The Yale Book of Quotations.''

I have seen this attributed to Augustine and Tolstoy as well. [[Special:Contributions/169.226.85.194|169.226.85.194]] 17:08, 1 December 2009 (UTC)


It comes, in fact, from Pascal: &quot;Qu'est-ce donc que nous crie cette avidité et cette impuissance sinon qu'il y a eu autrefois dans l'homme un
véritable bonheur, dont il ne lui reste maintenant que la marque et la trace toute vide et qu'il essaye inutilement
de remplir de tout ce qui l'environne, recherchant des choses absentes le secours qu'il n'obtient pas des
présentes, mais qui en sont toutes incapables parce que ce gouffre infini ne peut être rempli que par un objet
infini et immuable, c'est-à-dire que par Dieu même.&quot; (pensee 425)

&quot;Quantum physics is the religion of science, and the science of religion&quot; - Miles Bateman, DD, Ph.D, USAF Reired, Host of Christian Commentary

== stuff ==
[[Rip Van Winkel]]
[[Professor Lupin]]
[[Smokin Aces]]
[[Alpha Dog]]
[[Blood Diamond]]

== Gethsemane Exchange ==

The book of Mark (New Testament), talk about &quot;certain
young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young man laid hold on him: and he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked&quot;(Mr.14.51-52).

Hours before, the Last Supper was celebrated with one of the disciples leaning on Jesus bosom &quot;whom Jesus loved&quot;
(Jn.13.23).

In Da Vinci's The Last Supper,&quot;the figure to the left of Christ, also wearing blue and red, is ussually identified
as John the Apostle,...who is identified to be the disciple whom Jesus loved seated next to Jesus and who was customarily depicted...as a beardless, often &quot;effeminate&quot; youth with very
long hair...Some speculetors, have entertained the idea that John was depected in this way to hint that he was Mary Magda-
lene...&quot;.
*
In the book of John, Jesus &quot;saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom Jesus loved&quot; and said &quot;unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!. Then saith he to the disciple,
behold thy mother!&quot;(Jn.19.26-27).Three mysteries apparently not related!
But what if Jesus delivered himself in the garden of
Gethsemanee in exchange for the beloved disciple (with the help of Judas who's task would be to lead the herodian guards
along with the pharisees, the kidnappers of John? That would 
explain the presence of this strange character in this not 
untipically, not unusual &quot;scenario&quot;. It could also explain
why Jesus was the only &quot;arrested one&quot; at that time as &quot;nego- tiated&quot;! (given the assumption). It could also explain the possible absence of the &quot;beloved disciple&quot; from the Last Supper being substituted by Mary Magdalene.

Finally, it could give us a hint of Jesus motive for his final words adressed to &quot;his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved&quot;(Jn.19.26) when he said unto them: &quot;Woman, behold thy (recovered) son!... and son, &quot;Behold thy mother&quot;

== Quotes ==

===2007===
* I have always believed that conservation is not a liability to industries. Instead, if done properly, it can be an asset.
** Interview, China Economic Herald, Nov 30, 2007. [http://www.rgei.com/files/media_releases/ceh_301107.pdf]

===2015===
* I learn by doing, but each time I don’t understand, I will ask… If I don’t understand, I don’t feel ashamed to ask questions.
** Keynote speech, [[w:Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania|Wharton]] Global Modular Course, May 25, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Entrepreneur-Journey-1]

* When I was teenager, I wanted to be medical doctor. I would write &quot;Dr&quot; into my name - &quot;Dr Sukanto&quot;. After I got married, my wife found out and asked me, &quot;Why did you put a 'Dr' before your name?&quot; I said this was my dream but I couldn't continue my education because the school closed and I was not qualified to go to any school.
** Keynote speech, [[w:Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania|Wharton]] Global Modular Course, May 25, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Entrepreneur-Journey-1]

* It doesn't makes sense. Why should we import (plywood)? Why not produce ourselves?
** On 1960s Indonesia exporting logs but importing plywood from neighbouring countries, keynote speech, [[w:Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania|Wharton]] Global Modular Course, May 25, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Entrepreneur-Journey-1]

* After you think, you act. After you act, you learn. Make decisions, but decisions will have risks of mistakes. But make sure you avoid disastrous mistakes and avoid making the same mistake twice.
** Keynote speech, [[w:Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania|Wharton]] Global Modular Course, May 25, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Entrepreneur-Journey-2]

* The global pulp &amp; paper industry is estimated to be worth $1 trillion while the palm oil business is worth $400 to $500 billion a year. The challenge is to build the business to a large scale.
** Globe Asia Interview, Sep, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Resource-King-GlobeAsia]

* You have to see where the market is going. I always believe there is no sunset business. It’s all in the mindset because if you give up, then you die.
** Globe Asia Interview, Sep, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Resource-King-GlobeAsia]

* You have to see where the market is going. I always believe there is no sunset business. It’s all in the mindset because if you give up, then you die.
** On film and Eastman Kodak, Globe Asia Interview, Sep, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Resource-King-GlobeAsia]

* My business strategy is either to be geographically focused with lots of businesses or you can be a global player in selected businesses. Since I chose the route of being global, that is where I am going. You have to be competitive. It’s a matter of choice.
** Globe Asia Interview, Sep, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Resource-King-GlobeAsia]

* Doing the commodity business with China is like drinking coffee. We enjoyed three spoons of sugar per cup for a long time. Suddenly, when that’s cut to one and a half spoons, we feel bitter — because it used to be so sweet.
** Interview, [[w:New York Times|New York Times]], Dec 1, 2015. [http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/22/business/international/indonesia-economy-interest-rates.html?_r=0]

===2016===
* Our business philosophy is the four C’s. We do business in a way that is Good for the Community, Good for the Country, Good for the Climate, and only then will it be Good for the Company.
** Speech, [[w:World Economic Forum|World Economic Forum]] [[w:Davos|Davos]] 2016. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Fourth-C-WEF-Davos]

== [[F-22 Raptor]] ==
Like [[B-17 Flying Fortress]] someone needs to create another aircraft page that contains memorable quotes.([[User:StarWarsFanBoy|StarWarsFanBoy]] 07:27, 28 February 2010 (UTC))

== &quot;Holy Snapping Horny Toads&quot; ==

My father used this for years. It's become part of my vocabulary and I search for it and found a reference on a Winnipeg Free Press article.  Very curious as to the etymology of the phrase.

== Billy Elliot the Musical ==

This musical has won a Tony Award and been played on Broadway! It is very well know and certainly deserves an article.
[[Special:Contributions/24.5.239.44|24.5.239.44]] 23:56, 28 July 2011 (UTC)

==[[Tautologies]]==
I like quotes being tautology. For example:

&quot;It ain't over 'til it's over&quot; - Yogi Berra

&quot;I'm Gonna Live Till I Die&quot; - Frank Sinatra

&quot;[[w:What's done is done]]&quot; - Shakespeare

I wish someone will create [[Tautology]], I just couldn't find enough of them. [[User:Uziel302|Uziel302]] ([[User talk:Uziel302|talk]]) 15:31, 25 April 2015 (UTC)

== Politics-Quote by Michael Randi: ==

If you follow blindly, you are blind!

== Poetry ==

When my heart was broken tiers being to follow not because I'm crying because I'm heart broken
You said nothing was as good as when you looked me in the eye but now you don't care that I'm alive or dead
G
The Sky cryed so did  I the Sky is now calmed down and being to shake l really the connections it has made

== Poetry ==

 When my heart was broken tiers being to FOI not because I'm crying because I'm heart broken u said nothing was as good as when you look me in the eyes but now you don't care that I'm alive or dead I loved u needed but u cheetded with no shame the Sky cryed so did I the Sky is now calmed and it being to shake I noticed the connections it has made

== vignesh professional kickboxer ==

speedy delection please remove this delection page .in my own article rquested

== Sobriety ==

'''''Heard in 12-step meetings:'''
''

Attitude of gratitude 

Willingness to get well

I came, I came to, I came to believe

Absolute honesty

If you want to swim the English Channel don’t stop swimming 

3 willings ~
I have to be willing, to be willing, to be wiling

Quit arguing &amp; fighting

You were born precious; 
you’ll never be better 
you’ll never be worse

Alcohol worked until it didn’t

Who moved my cheese

The meeting you need is the one you don’t want to attend

This ain’t go’n away overnight

I pray that I can get my troubles behind me &amp; that they will become smaller

Keep showing up

Reliance not defiance 

Stand with fist

Chop wood carry water

I must have willingness to be willing

Be The Gift

Trust God, Clean House, Help Others

Pointing to one’s head: I can’t fix this with this

Don’t say in your head: “fuck—you”

Move your foot out of the road

Alcohol made me do weird things

A drink picks up a drink

Everything has a learning demission to it

Acceptance is an inside job

Miracles not magic

When you turn it over bring your shovel

Uncover Discover Discard''

Change your playmates &amp; playpens

Acting as if

Behaviors first, feelings will follow

Embrace the Suck

Don’t do the next wrong thing 

Bring love to the situation

Spiritual Oxygen 

First Thought Wrong
(Comedian Mark Lundholm)

Be Where Your Hands Are

Today Is The Day You Worried About Yesterday

To Be Fully Present, Listen Deeply

Why Am I Talking

I Have A Chance To Out Grow The Limits Of The Past

When I become quiet during prayer &amp; meditation; it is me talking to my higher power, the voice inside me is my intuition of my higher power talking to me 

Sit… Stay!

Joy: Happiness of the soul lifted above all circumstances  

First Things First

Easy Does It

[[Category:Wikiquote Requested entries]]

== Not just bikes ==

I think he has some pretty good quotes.

== IOT  ==

Real time IOT data not only brings about business change but cultural change as well.
As machines become intelligent, they change the lives of everyone.

== Food ==

Im ahmad mhmd i live in lebanon from sida i have a restaurant in food trucks park that serves pizza ana pasta ana a diver
And i have mane recipe for food dm if you wont insta: ahmadmd03

== Individuality ==

Perfection of anything is only found within it's imperfection.
                                         Deedae</text>
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== Request! ==

Quotes from:
*You've got to be a Senator before you can be a statesman by(?) Scoop Jackson (D-WA)
*[[Across the Wall]] by: [[Garth Nix]]
*[[The Heart Reader]] by: [[Terri Blackstock]]
*[[The Romance of the Three Kingdoms]] by: [[Luo Guanzhong]]
*[[Janitors]] or [[Custodians]] in occupations

==The Virgin Queen==
[[The Virgin Queen]]
[[Zaboo]]
[[Agent Under Fire]]
[[Jayla]]
[[Bre]]
[[Nik]]
[[Kim]] ANTM
[[Jamie Foxx]]
[[Black Panther Party]]
[[Elle Fanning]]
[[Dragon Tales]]
[[Georgie Henley]]

== On Bidding for Contracts ==
There is a quote about when participating in a competitive bidding process that goes something like &quot;The losers are wondering somethingorother, and the winner is wondering what he calculated wrong&quot;. I tried various searches here and on google and couldn't find anything, maybe someone who remembers more of the quote can develop this further? I would have created a stub, but this seems to vague to warrant it yet. -- matt at lackof org 2006/01/23
: What about &quot;The winners are planning their future, the losers are wondering about theirs.&quot; Found via [http://books.google.com/books?id=npVYAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22The+losers+are+wondering%22+winners&amp;dq=%22The+losers+are+wondering%22+winners&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=rFa7TPu0Lp6O4gaX3aHNDg&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=2&amp;ved=0CCoQ6AEwAQ Google Books] [[User:Jodi.a.schneider|Jodi.a.schneider]] 20:06, 17 October 2010 (UTC)
:: I have heard something like this before, but can't quite place it either. The basic idea is that the winning bidder will be the bidder who bids the lowest (i.e., will do the work for the least amount of money). If the winning bidder is just slightly below the next losing bidder, then they have calculated well, but if they are far below the next losing bidder, then they could have bid higher than they did and still won the contract. In that case, what the losing bidder is left wondering is which of the costs going into their bid they underestimated, to be able to charge that much less. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 15:31, 28 September 2015 (UTC)

== Tons Of Great Quotes For You To Use! ==

:''NOTE: This text was moved from [[Talk:Main Page]] and a signature and timestamp added.'' ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 13:59, 25 January 2006 (UTC)

===[[Thomas Jefferson]]===
Sometimes It is Said that Man Connot be Trusted With the Government of Himself. Can He Then Be Trusted With the Government of Others?

The Spirit of Resistance to Government is So Valuable on Certain Occasions, That I Wish It to be Always Kept Alive.

When the Government Fears the People, There is Liberty; When the People Fear the Government, There is Tyranny

The policy of the American government is to leave its citizens free, neither restraining them nor aiding them in their pursuits.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

The general government will tend to monarchy, which will fortify itself from day to day, instead of working its own cures.

Cherish therefore the spirit of our people, and keep alive their attention. Do not be too severe upon their errors, but reclaim them by enlightening them. If once they become inattentive to the public affairs, you and I, and Congress, and Assemblies, judges and governors shall all become wolves....

Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms [of government] those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny. -- Bill for the More General diffusion of Knowledge (1778).

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.

Laws that forbid the carrying of arms... disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man. --- In &quot;Commonplace Book,&quot; 1774-1776, quoting from On Crimes and Punishment, by criminologist Cesare Beccaria, 1764

A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be the constant companion of your walks. -- To Peter Carr, 1785. The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, (Memorial Edition) Lipscomb and Bergh, editors.

We established however some, although not all its [self-government] important principles . The constitutions of most of our States assert, that all power is inherent in the people; that they may exercise it by themselves, in all cases to which they think themselves competent, (as in electing their functionaries executive and legislative, and deciding by a jury of themselves, in all judiciary cases in which any fact is involved,) or they may act by representatives, freely and equally chosen; that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed. --- Thomas Jefferson to John Cartwright, 1824. Memorial Edition 16:45, Lipscomb and Bergh, editors.

For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so, a well organized and armed militia is their best security. -- Eighth Annual Message, November 8, 1808

Those who don't read the newspapers are better off than those who do insofar as those who know nothing are better off than those whose heads are filled with half-truths and lies.

One loves to possess arms, though they hope never to have occasion for them. --- Thomas Jefferson to George Washington, 1796. The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, (Memorial Edition) Lipscomb and Bergh

===[[Patrick Henry]]===

&quot;Power is the great evil with which we are contending. We have divided power between three branches of government and erected checks and balances to prevent abuse of power. However, where is the check on the power of the judiciary? If we fail to check the power of the judiciary, I predict that we will eventually live under judicial tyranny.&quot; - Patrick Henry

the people have a right to keep and bear arms. -- Patrick Henry and George Mason, Elliot, Debates at 185.

Are we at last brought to such humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our defense? Where is the difference between having our arms in possession and under our direction, and having them under the management of Congress? If our defense be the real object of having those arms, in whose hands can they be trusted with more propriety, or equal safety to us, as in our own hands? -- Patrick Henry, 3 J. Elliot, Debates in the Several State Conventions 45, 2d ed. Philadelphia, 1836

The great object is that every man be armed. Everyone who is able might have a gun. -- Patrick Henry, 3 Elliot, Debates at 386.

O sir, we should have fine times, indeed, if, to punish tyrants, it were only sufficient to assemble the people! Your arms, wherewith you could defend yourselves, are gone... Did you ever read of any revolution in a nation... inflicted by those who had no power at all? -- Patrick Henry, Elliot p. 3:50-53, in Virginia Ratifying Convention

Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ruined. -- Patrick Henry, during Virginia's Convention to Ratify the Constitution (1788)

Have we the means of resisting disciplined armies, when our only defense, the militia, is put in the hands of Congress? Of what service would militia be to you when, most probably, you will not have a single musket in the state? For, as arms are to be provided by Congress, they may or may not provide them. -- Patrick Henry, 3 Elliot Debates at 48

===Others===
If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government --and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws. -- [[Edward Abbey]] in Abbey's Road, p.39 (Plume, 1979)

If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquillity of servitude than the animating contest of freedom—go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen! - [[Samuel Adams]]

If we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom. - Samuel Adams

All that is essential for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. -- Edmund Burke

What Good Fortune It is For Governments That People Do Not Think - Adolf Hitler

Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty...of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers.  John Jay, First Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. -- [[Abraham Lincoln]]

No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation. -- General [[Douglas MacArthur]]

If we will not be governed by God, then we will be ruled by tyrants. - [[William Penn]]

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. -- [[Voltaire]], 1764

Without either the first or second amendment, we would have no liberty; the first allows us to find out what's happening, the second allows us to do something about it! The second will be taken away first, followed by the first and then the rest of our freedoms. -- [[Andrew Ford]]

On April 18, 1775 John Adams and John Hancock were at the home of Rev. Jonas Clarke, a Lexington pastor and militia leader. That same night Paul Revere arrived to warn them of the approaching Redcoats. The next morning British Major Pitcairn shouted to an assembled regiment of Minutemen; &quot;Disperse, ye villains, lay down your arms in the name of George the Sovereign King of England.&quot;
The immediate response of Rev. Jonas Clarke or one of his company was: &quot;We recognize no Sovereign but God and no King but Jesus.&quot;
The motto of the American Revolution became “No King but King Jesus”

This country belongs to the people and whenever they shall grow weary of their government they can exercise their constitutional right to amend it, or revolutionary right to dismember it or overthrow it. -- [[Abraham Lincoln]]

If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege. -- ''[[w:Wilson v. State|Wilson v. State]]'', 33 Ark. 557, 560 (1878)

The militia is a voluntary force not associated or under the control of the States except when called out; [ when called into actual service] a permanent or long standing force would be entirely different in make-up and call. -- [[Alexander Hamilton]] in Federalist Paper No. 28

I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials. -- [[George Mason]], 3 Elliot, Debates at 425-426.

An instance within the memory of some of this house will show us how our militia may be destroyed. Forty years ago, when the resolution of enslaving America was formed in Great Britain, the British Parliment was advised by an artful man, who was governor of Pennsylvania, to disarm the people; that is was the best and most effectual way to enslave them; but that they should not do it openly, but weaken them, and let them sink gradually, by totally disusing and neglecting the militia. -- [[George Mason]] at the Virginia Ratification Convention, June 14, 1788

Whereas, to preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them; nor does it follow from this, that all promiscuously must go into actual service on every occasion. The mind that aims at a select militia, must be influenced by a truly anti-republican principle; and when we see many men disposed to practice upon it, whenever they can prevail, no wonder true republicans are for carefully guarding against it. -- [[Richard Henry Lee]], The Pennsylvania Gazette, Feb. 20, 1788.

A militia, when properly formed, are in fact the people themselves...and include all men capable of bearing arms. -- Richard Henry Lee, Additional Letters from the Federal Farmer (1788) at 169.

The militia is the natural defense of a free country against foreign invasions, domestic insurrections, and domestic usurpations of power by rulers. The right of citizens to keep and bear arms has justly been considered as the palladium of liberties of the republic, since it offers a strong moral check against the usurpation and arbitrary power of rulers, and will generally, even if these are successful in the first instance, enable the people to resist and triumph over them. -- U.S. Supreme Court Justice [[Joseph Story]], Commentaries on the Constitution of the U.S., Book III at 746 (1833)

What, Sir, is the use of a militia? It is to prevent the establishment of a standing army, the bane of liberty .... Whenever Governments mean to invade the rights and liberties of the people, they always attempt to destroy the militia, in order to raise an army upon their ruins. -- Representative [[Elbridge Gerry]] of Massachusetts, spoken during floor debate over the Second Amendment, I Annals of Congress at 750, August 17, 1789

The power of the sword, say the minority of Pennsylvania, is in the hands of Congress. My friends and countrymen, it is not so, for the powers of the sword are in the hands of the yeomanry of America from sixteen to sixty. The militia of these free commonwealths, entitled and accustomed to their arms, when compared with any possible army, must be tremendous and irresistible. Who are the militia? Are they not ourselves? Is it feared, then, that we shall turn our arms each man against his own bosom? Congress have no power to disarm the militia. Their swords, and every other terrible implement of the soldier, are the birth-right of an American...[T]he unlimited power of the sword is not in the hands of either the federal or state governments, but, where I trust in God it ever will remain, in the hands of the people. -- [[Tench Coxe]] in the Pennsylvania Gazette, Feb. 20, 1788.

-- [[User:4.242.6.184|4.242.6.184]] 08:09, 25 January 2006 (UTC)

==[[Social Engineering]]==

:''&quot;The art of Deception&quot;'' [[Kevin Mitnick]]

:''&quot;Amateurs hack systems, professionals hack people&quot;'' [[Bruce Schneier]]

:''&quot;Coheed and Cambria&quot;'' Lyrics

==[[God-sized hole]]==

* The quote goes something like &quot;There is a god-sized hole in man's psyche.&quot;  It's almost always attributed to Sartre, but I can't find anywhere that says where he said it or wrote it, or what the original french was.

A first attempt at an answer:
Regarding the attribution of the “God-sized hole” as coming from Sartre. After a non-exhaustive search in both English and French, I found a couple of plausible sources that make the attribution problematic. Here are my quick (and most definitely not authoritative) translations, followed by the original texts pasted from the internet sources. I

On Wikipedia (French) (http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Paul_Sartre)
 
«Man is defined by consciousness [conscience] (the for-self that is opposed to the in-self). For all consciousness is the consciousness of something (the idea of intentionality, taken up from Husserl). Man is therefore fundamentally open to the world, “incomplete,” “turned towards,” existing [existent] (projected outside the self): there is in him a nothingness, a “hole in the being” susceptible to receiving objects from the world. Consciousness is that which never coincides with oneself, that which is the power of [making]-nothingness [nihilism?] (that is to say negation, that is to say action) thanks to the imagination (which can think that which does not exist). Consciousness makes the project possible.»

http://yves.frisch.free.fr/lfic.php?fic=sartre

«I asked myself every minute what I could be in the eyes of God. At present, I do not know the answer. God does not see me, God does not hear me, God does not know me. You see that emptiness [space, vacuum] above our heads? This is God again. Silence is God. Absence is God. God is the solitude of men. There was only me: I alone have decided [about] Evil; alone I invented Good. It is I who have cheated, I who have performed miracles,  it is I who accuses [condemns] myself today, I alone who can absolve myself; myself, man. If God exists, man is nothingness.»
(purportedly from Le diable et le bon Dieu (1951), Act III, p. 228)

Le diable et le bon Dieu (1951)
Je me demandais à chaque minute ce que je pouvais être aux yeux de Dieu. A présent je connais la réponse: rien. Dieu ne me voit pas, Dieu ne m'entend pas, Dieu ne me connaît pas. Tu vois ce vide au-dessus de nos têtes ? C'est Dieu. Tu vois cette brèche dans la porte? C'est Dieu. Tu vois ce trou dans la terre ? C'est Dieu encore. Le silence c'est Dieu. L'absence c'est Dieu. Dieu c'est la solitude des hommes. Il n'y avait que moi: J'ai décidé seul du Mal; seul, j'ai inventé le Bien. C'est moi qui ai triché, moi qui ai fait des miracles, c'est moi qui m'accuse aujourd'hui, moi seul peut m'absoudre; moi, l'homme. Si Dieu existe, l'homme est néant; ... (Acte III p.228)
http://yves.frisch.free.fr/lfic.php?fic=sartre

0. L'Homme est défini par la conscience (le pour-soi qui s'oppose à l'en-soi). Or toute conscience est conscience de quelque chose (idée d'intentionnalité reprise de Husserl). L'Homme est donc fondamentalement ouvert sur le monde, « incomplet », « tourné vers », existant (projeté hors de soi) : il y a en lui un néant, un « trou dans l'être » susceptible de recevoir les objets du monde.
La conscience est ce qui ne coïncide jamais avec soi-même, ce qui est puissance de néantisation (c'est-à-dire de négation, c'est-à-dire d'action) grâce à l'imagination (elle peut penser ce qui n'est pas). La conscience rend donc le projet possible.
http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Paul_Sartre

* See ''The Yale Book of Quotations,'' page 584, for the source of this expression in Pascal.
Fred R. Shapiro, Editor, ''The Yale Book of Quotations.''

I have seen this attributed to Augustine and Tolstoy as well. [[Special:Contributions/169.226.85.194|169.226.85.194]] 17:08, 1 December 2009 (UTC)


It comes, in fact, from Pascal: &quot;Qu'est-ce donc que nous crie cette avidité et cette impuissance sinon qu'il y a eu autrefois dans l'homme un
véritable bonheur, dont il ne lui reste maintenant que la marque et la trace toute vide et qu'il essaye inutilement
de remplir de tout ce qui l'environne, recherchant des choses absentes le secours qu'il n'obtient pas des
présentes, mais qui en sont toutes incapables parce que ce gouffre infini ne peut être rempli que par un objet
infini et immuable, c'est-à-dire que par Dieu même.&quot; (pensee 425)

&quot;Quantum physics is the religion of science, and the science of religion&quot; - Miles Bateman, DD, Ph.D, USAF Reired, Host of Christian Commentary

== stuff ==
[[Rip Van Winkel]]
[[Professor Lupin]]
[[Smokin Aces]]
[[Alpha Dog]]
[[Blood Diamond]]

== Gethsemane Exchange ==

The book of Mark (New Testament), talk about &quot;certain
young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young man laid hold on him: and he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked&quot;(Mr.14.51-52).

Hours before, the Last Supper was celebrated with one of the disciples leaning on Jesus bosom &quot;whom Jesus loved&quot;
(Jn.13.23).

In Da Vinci's The Last Supper,&quot;the figure to the left of Christ, also wearing blue and red, is ussually identified
as John the Apostle,...who is identified to be the disciple whom Jesus loved seated next to Jesus and who was customarily depicted...as a beardless, often &quot;effeminate&quot; youth with very
long hair...Some speculetors, have entertained the idea that John was depected in this way to hint that he was Mary Magda-
lene...&quot;.
*
In the book of John, Jesus &quot;saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom Jesus loved&quot; and said &quot;unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!. Then saith he to the disciple,
behold thy mother!&quot;(Jn.19.26-27).Three mysteries apparently not related!
But what if Jesus delivered himself in the garden of
Gethsemanee in exchange for the beloved disciple (with the help of Judas who's task would be to lead the herodian guards
along with the pharisees, the kidnappers of John? That would 
explain the presence of this strange character in this not 
untipically, not unusual &quot;scenario&quot;. It could also explain
why Jesus was the only &quot;arrested one&quot; at that time as &quot;nego- tiated&quot;! (given the assumption). It could also explain the possible absence of the &quot;beloved disciple&quot; from the Last Supper being substituted by Mary Magdalene.

Finally, it could give us a hint of Jesus motive for his final words adressed to &quot;his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved&quot;(Jn.19.26) when he said unto them: &quot;Woman, behold thy (recovered) son!... and son, &quot;Behold thy mother&quot;

== Quotes ==

===2007===
* I have always believed that conservation is not a liability to industries. Instead, if done properly, it can be an asset.
** Interview, China Economic Herald, Nov 30, 2007. [http://www.rgei.com/files/media_releases/ceh_301107.pdf]

===2015===
* I learn by doing, but each time I don’t understand, I will ask… If I don’t understand, I don’t feel ashamed to ask questions.
** Keynote speech, [[w:Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania|Wharton]] Global Modular Course, May 25, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Entrepreneur-Journey-1]

* When I was teenager, I wanted to be medical doctor. I would write &quot;Dr&quot; into my name - &quot;Dr Sukanto&quot;. After I got married, my wife found out and asked me, &quot;Why did you put a 'Dr' before your name?&quot; I said this was my dream but I couldn't continue my education because the school closed and I was not qualified to go to any school.
** Keynote speech, [[w:Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania|Wharton]] Global Modular Course, May 25, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Entrepreneur-Journey-1]

* It doesn't makes sense. Why should we import (plywood)? Why not produce ourselves?
** On 1960s Indonesia exporting logs but importing plywood from neighbouring countries, keynote speech, [[w:Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania|Wharton]] Global Modular Course, May 25, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Entrepreneur-Journey-1]

* After you think, you act. After you act, you learn. Make decisions, but decisions will have risks of mistakes. But make sure you avoid disastrous mistakes and avoid making the same mistake twice.
** Keynote speech, [[w:Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania|Wharton]] Global Modular Course, May 25, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Entrepreneur-Journey-2]

* The global pulp &amp; paper industry is estimated to be worth $1 trillion while the palm oil business is worth $400 to $500 billion a year. The challenge is to build the business to a large scale.
** Globe Asia Interview, Sep, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Resource-King-GlobeAsia]

* You have to see where the market is going. I always believe there is no sunset business. It’s all in the mindset because if you give up, then you die.
** Globe Asia Interview, Sep, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Resource-King-GlobeAsia]

* You have to see where the market is going. I always believe there is no sunset business. It’s all in the mindset because if you give up, then you die.
** On film and Eastman Kodak, Globe Asia Interview, Sep, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Resource-King-GlobeAsia]

* My business strategy is either to be geographically focused with lots of businesses or you can be a global player in selected businesses. Since I chose the route of being global, that is where I am going. You have to be competitive. It’s a matter of choice.
** Globe Asia Interview, Sep, 2015. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Resource-King-GlobeAsia]

* Doing the commodity business with China is like drinking coffee. We enjoyed three spoons of sugar per cup for a long time. Suddenly, when that’s cut to one and a half spoons, we feel bitter — because it used to be so sweet.
** Interview, [[w:New York Times|New York Times]], Dec 1, 2015. [http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/22/business/international/indonesia-economy-interest-rates.html?_r=0]

===2016===
* Our business philosophy is the four C’s. We do business in a way that is Good for the Community, Good for the Country, Good for the Climate, and only then will it be Good for the Company.
** Speech, [[w:World Economic Forum|World Economic Forum]] [[w:Davos|Davos]] 2016. [http://www.inside-rge.com/Sukanto-Tanoto-Fourth-C-WEF-Davos]

== [[F-22 Raptor]] ==
Like [[B-17 Flying Fortress]] someone needs to create another aircraft page that contains memorable quotes.([[User:StarWarsFanBoy|StarWarsFanBoy]] 07:27, 28 February 2010 (UTC))

== &quot;Holy Snapping Horny Toads&quot; ==

My father used this for years. It's become part of my vocabulary and I search for it and found a reference on a Winnipeg Free Press article.  Very curious as to the etymology of the phrase.

== Billy Elliot the Musical ==

This musical has won a Tony Award and been played on Broadway! It is very well know and certainly deserves an article.
[[Special:Contributions/24.5.239.44|24.5.239.44]] 23:56, 28 July 2011 (UTC)

==[[Tautologies]]==
I like quotes being tautology. For example:

&quot;It ain't over 'til it's over&quot; - Yogi Berra

&quot;I'm Gonna Live Till I Die&quot; - Frank Sinatra

&quot;[[w:What's done is done]]&quot; - Shakespeare

I wish someone will create [[Tautology]], I just couldn't find enough of them. [[User:Uziel302|Uziel302]] ([[User talk:Uziel302|talk]]) 15:31, 25 April 2015 (UTC)

== Politics-Quote by Michael Randi: ==

If you follow blindly, you are blind!

== Poetry ==

When my heart was broken tiers being to follow not because I'm crying because I'm heart broken
You said nothing was as good as when you looked me in the eye but now you don't care that I'm alive or dead
G
The Sky cryed so did  I the Sky is now calmed down and being to shake l really the connections it has made

== Poetry ==

 When my heart was broken tiers being to FOI not because I'm crying because I'm heart broken u said nothing was as good as when you look me in the eyes but now you don't care that I'm alive or dead I loved u needed but u cheetded with no shame the Sky cryed so did I the Sky is now calmed and it being to shake I noticed the connections it has made

== vignesh professional kickboxer ==

speedy delection please remove this delection page .in my own article rquested

== Sobriety ==

'''''Heard in 12-step meetings:'''
''

Attitude of gratitude 

Willingness to get well

I came, I came to, I came to believe

Absolute honesty

If you want to swim the English Channel don’t stop swimming 

3 willings ~
I have to be willing, to be willing, to be wiling

Quit arguing &amp; fighting

You were born precious; 
you’ll never be better 
you’ll never be worse

Alcohol worked until it didn’t

Who moved my cheese

The meeting you need is the one you don’t want to attend

This ain’t go’n away overnight

I pray that I can get my troubles behind me &amp; that they will become smaller

Keep showing up

Reliance not defiance 

Stand with fist

Chop wood carry water

I must have willingness to be willing

Be The Gift

Trust God, Clean House, Help Others

Pointing to one’s head: I can’t fix this with this

Don’t say in your head: “fuck—you”

Move your foot out of the road

Alcohol made me do weird things

A drink picks up a drink

Everything has a learning demission to it

Acceptance is an inside job

Miracles not magic

When you turn it over bring your shovel

Uncover Discover Discard''

Change your playmates &amp; playpens

Acting as if

Behaviors first, feelings will follow

Embrace the Suck

Don’t do the next wrong thing 

Bring love to the situation

Spiritual Oxygen 

First Thought Wrong
(Comedian Mark Lundholm)

Be Where Your Hands Are

Today Is The Day You Worried About Yesterday

To Be Fully Present, Listen Deeply

Why Am I Talking

I Have A Chance To Out Grow The Limits Of The Past

When I become quiet during prayer &amp; meditation; it is me talking to my higher power, the voice inside me is my intuition of my higher power talking to me 

Sit… Stay!

Joy: Happiness of the soul lifted above all circumstances  

First Things First

Easy Does It

[[Category:Wikiquote Requested entries]]

== Not just bikes ==

I think he has some pretty good quotes.

== IOT  ==

Real time IOT data not only brings about business change but cultural change as well.
As machines become intelligent, they change the lives of everyone.

== Food ==

Im ahmad mhmd i live in lebanon from sida i have a restaurant in food trucks park that serves pizza ana pasta ana a diver
And i have mane recipe for food dm if you wont insta: ahmadmd03

== Individuality ==

Perfection of anything is only found within it's imperfection.
                                         Deedae

== Individuality ==

Perfection of anything is only found within it's imperfection.</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Megan Thee Stallion</title>
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      <text bytes="2881" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Megan Thee Stallion 2019 2.jpg|thumb|Megan Thee Stallion (2019)]]
'''[[w:Megan Thee Stallion|Megan Jovon Ruth Pete]] '''(born February 15, 1995), known professionally as '''Megan Thee Stallion''', is an American rapper and songwriter. 

== Quotes ==

*Women, we naturally want to be the best…And I can’t be mad at the next girl for wanting to be the best! Why would I get mad at you for saying you the baddest? Why can’t we both agree that we bad, and that just be that?
**On preferring collaboration rather than rivalry in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/may/08/megan-thee-stallion-hot-girl-taking-over-hip-hop-interview “'When a woman raps, she spitting!' Megan Thee Stallion, the hot girl taking over hip-hop”] in The Guardian (2020 May 8) 

*I want to tell that story to people that, even though I was chasing my dream, I still was able to get my education…I really want young girls to want to go to college. My grandma and my momma will be so proud too.
**On pursuing her higher education while launching her music career in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/may/08/megan-thee-stallion-hot-girl-taking-over-hip-hop-interview “'When a woman raps, she spitting!' Megan Thee Stallion, the hot girl taking over hip-hop”] in The Guardian (2020 May 8) 

*Believe it or not, I used to be a little shy…I never wanted anybody to know that I could even rap. Even when I got to college and I told my best friend I could rap, she’ll be like, ‘OK. Well, then rap.’ She wanted me to rap and I wouldn’t do it. But then we went to a kickback and I just started rapping. . . . I was confident in myself, but I didn’t really know how people would react to how I thought about myself on the inside.
**On her first foray into rapping in [https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/megan-thee-stallion-interview-hot-girl-summer-950292/ “How Megan Thee Stallion Weathered the Hottest Summer”] in Rolling Stone (2020 Feb 27) 

*First step, you got to spend more time in the mirror…Because once you get in the mirror and you start finding shit that you do like about yourself, you’re going to stay in the motherfucking mirror trying to perfect that. That’s how I am. Like, ‘OK, what do you got going on? Bitch, you look good as fuck today!’ 
**On focusing on what you actually like about your appearance in [https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/megan-thee-stallion-interview-hot-girl-summer-950292/ “How Megan Thee Stallion Weathered the Hottest Summer”] in Rolling Stone (2020 Feb 27) 

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category: African Americans]]
[[Category: Rappers from the United States]]
[[Category: Women musicians]]
[[Category: Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category: American women]]
[[Category: 1995 births]]
[[Category: Living people]]
[[Category: People from Houston]]</text>
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      <text bytes="2919" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Megan Thee Stallion 2019 2.jpg|thumb|Megan Thee Stallion (2019)]]
'''[[w:Megan Thee Stallion|Megan Jovon Ruth Pete]] '''(born February 15, 1995), known professionally as '''Megan Thee Stallion''', is an American rapper and songwriter. 

== Quotes ==

*Women, we naturally want to be the best…And I can’t be mad at the next girl for wanting to be the best! Why would I get mad at you for saying you the baddest? Why can’t we both agree that we bad, and that just be that?
**On preferring collaboration rather than rivalry in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/may/08/megan-thee-stallion-hot-girl-taking-over-hip-hop-interview “'When a woman raps, she spitting!' Megan Thee Stallion, the hot girl taking over hip-hop”] in The Guardian (2020 May 8) 

*I want to tell that story to people that, even though I was chasing my dream, I still was able to get my education…I really want young girls to want to go to college. My grandma and my momma will be so proud too.
**On pursuing her higher education while launching her music career in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/may/08/megan-thee-stallion-hot-girl-taking-over-hip-hop-interview “'When a woman raps, she spitting!' Megan Thee Stallion, the hot girl taking over hip-hop”] in The Guardian (2020 May 8) 

*Believe it or not, I used to be a little shy…I never wanted anybody to know that I could even rap. Even when I got to college and I told my best friend I could rap, she’ll be like, ‘OK. Well, then rap.’ She wanted me to rap and I wouldn’t do it. But then we went to a kickback and I just started rapping. . . . I was confident in myself, but I didn’t really know how people would react to how I thought about myself on the inside.
**On her first foray into rapping in [https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/megan-thee-stallion-interview-hot-girl-summer-950292/ “How Megan Thee Stallion Weathered the Hottest Summer”] in Rolling Stone (2020 Feb 27) 

*First step, you got to spend more time in the mirror…Because once you get in the mirror and you start finding shit that you do like about yourself, you’re going to stay in the motherfucking mirror trying to perfect that. That’s how I am. Like, ‘OK, what do you got going on? Bitch, you look good as fuck today!’ 
**On focusing on what you actually like about your appearance in [https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/megan-thee-stallion-interview-hot-girl-summer-950292/ “How Megan Thee Stallion Weathered the Hottest Summer”] in Rolling Stone (2020 Feb 27) 

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category: African Americans]]
[[Category: Rappers from the United States]]
[[Category: Women musicians]]
[[Category: Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category: American women]]
[[Category: 1995 births]]
[[Category: Living people]]
[[Category: People from San Antonio]]
[[Category: People from Houston]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Julia Louis-Dreyfus</title>
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      <text bytes="2033" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Julia Louis-Dreyfus 2019 (cropped).jpg|thumb|Laughter is a basic human need.]]

'''[[w:Julia Louis-Dreyfus|Julia Scarlett Elizabeth Louis-Dreyfus Hall]]''' (born 13 January 1961) is an American actress and comedian.

== Quotes ==

=== [[w:Mark Twain Prize for American Humor|Mark Twain Prize]] Acceptance Speech (2018) ===

* As a ''great'' fan of the work of Mark Twain, I was so sorry when I recently learned he was dead. My thoughts and prayers go out to the whole Twain family. Especially the ''wonderful'' [[w:Shania Twain|Shania]].

* I grew up here in Washington, D.C., back during the quaint, old-fashioned &quot;Rule of Law&quot; period.

* Laughter is a basic human need, along with love, and food, and an HBO subscription.

* '''Everybody needs laughs, so the fact that I've had the opportunity to make people laugh for a living is one of the many blessings that I have received in my life.'''

== Quotes about Louis-Dreyfus ==

* Julia Louis-Dreyfus, as far as ''I'' was concerned, was the key to the success of [[w:Seinfeld|the show]].
** [[Jerry Seinfeld]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfDpjw5cF2I ''Seinfeld'' — &quot;Queen of the Castle&quot;] (2006)

* '''I was not acting. I couldn't! I thought she was funny, charming, beautiful, intelligent every single second I ever spent with her, onstage and off. Bingo! No acting required.'''
** Jerry Seinfeld, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nfe2MoPDdkM 2018 Mark Twain Prize Ceremony] (21 October 2018)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons category}}
* {{IMDb name|0000506}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nfe2MoPDdkM Mark Twain Prize Acceptance Speech] (21 October 2018)

{{DEFAULTSORT:Louis-Dreyfus, Julia}}

[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Comedians from the United States]]
[[Category:Producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Philanthropists from the United States]]
[[Category:1961 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Bailee Madison</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <text bytes="1001" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Bailee Madison|Bailee Rose Madison]]''' (October 15, 1999 –) is an American actress, singer and producer.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
*My advice is that if acting doesn’t happen quickly, don’t get discouraged. I’m still working 24/7 and all these years later I still hear no’s and I still face disappointments. However, if you truly love this line of work and you believe in your vision and your talent everything will happen at the right time. Surround yourself with good, uplifting family and friends, stay focused and be kind to yourself!
**[https://schonmagazine.com/interview-bailee-madison/  interview | bailee madison] (October 20, 2018)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Madison, Bailee}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:1999 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Florida]]
[[Category:Film producers from the United States]]
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  <page>
    <title>South Park/Season 24</title>
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      <comment>/* South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid [24.04] */</comment>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[South Park/Season 1|1]] [[South Park/Season 2|2]] [[South Park/Season 3|3]] [[South Park/Season 4|4]] [[South Park/Season 5|5]] [[South Park/Season 6|6]] [[South Park/Season 7|7]] [[South Park/Season 8|8]] [[South Park/Season 9|9]] [[South Park/Season 10|10]] [[South Park/Season 11|11]] [[South Park/Season 12|12]] [[South Park/Season 13|13]] [[South Park/Season 14|14]] [[South Park/Season 15|15]] [[South Park/Season 16|16]] [[South Park/Season 17|17]] [[South Park/Season 18|18]] [[South Park/Season 19|19]] [[South Park/Season 20|20]] [[South Park/Season 21|21]] [[South Park/Season 22|22]] [[South Park/Season 23|23]] [[South Park/Season 24|24]] [[South Park/Season 25|25]] | [[South Park|Main]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997-) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

=== [[w: The Pandemic Special|The Pandemic Special]] [24.01] ===
:'''Butters''': Hey, Dad, do you think maybe we could go to Build-A-Bear today?
:'''Stephen''': Butters, for the last time, you ''can't'' go to Build-A-Bear.
:'''Butters''': But, they said they're open again, so I--
:'''Stephen''': Yes, they're open, but we are not the Johnsons, and we do not go to non-essential businesses when it's non-essential! Hey, do you people mind?! You're supposed to wear your mask ''over'' your nose. Looks like you're wearing a diaper for your chin. Chin diapers don't help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sharon''': A pandemic special, Randy? Really?
:'''Randy''': What?
:'''Sharon''': People are hurting! People are dying, Randy! And all you can think about is make a special about it?
:'''Randy''': I'm doing something positive to try and help. People really needs this right now.
:'''Sharon''': You're a child, Randy!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Mr. Mackey is in his home office on a Zoom meeting with the parents]''
:'''Mr. Mackey''': M'kay, welcome, parents, to this all-school town meeting to talk about how we're gonna get your kids back into the classroom. Can everyone hear me okay? ''[the parents all replying]'' Okay, well, parents, we've made some amazing adjustments and hirings, m'kay? We believe we can welcome students back on Monday. M'kay?
:'''Sheila''': How are you going to do this?
:'''Stephen''': Yeah, what happens when my son is sitting in a room with Craig Tucker, whose father doesn't even wear a mask outside?
:'''Thomas''': Oh, here we fucking go again. Stop mask shaming, Stotch!
:'''Stephen''': Well, it's really not a mask if you wear it down around your chin. That's a chin diaper.
:'''Thomas''': There's no real proof that a mask even fuckin' does anything!
:'''Stephen''': Spoken like a true redneck.
:'''Carol''': Oh, fuck you!
:''[The parents all start talking over each other in annoyed anger]''
:'''Mr. Mackey''': Okay. Okay, everyone. Alright. ''[presses a key on his computer keyboard silence muting everyone]'' Mmkay! I just muted everybody! Okay! Now, if we don't get along, I'll just sit here with you all on mute! Okay, now let's try this again. ''[presses a key, unmuting everyone]''
:'''Ms. Tweak''': I saw Wendy's mother not wearing a mask in the changing room at Ross.
:'''Mrs. Testaburger''': The fuck are you doing spying on me in the changing room?!
:'''Mr. Mackey''': Okay! BOOM! ''[mute silences everyone again]'' You're all muted! M'kay? I can do this all day! Now, we've made changes at the school, and we feel prepared to welcome your students back! ''[Roger raises his hand]'' Mr. Donovan. ''[unmutes him]''
:'''Roger''': I don't care what changes you've made, my son Clyde is ''not'' going to class.
:'''Mr. Mackey''': And that is your prerogative. Mute. ''[mutes Roger]'' Uhkay, Mrs. Marsh.
:'''Sharon''': I thought that the issue was the teachers not coming back.
:'''Mr. Mackey''': That is correct. Our teaching staff does not feel safe to return, but… we have hired all ''new'' teachers, m'kay? These are people who have recently lost their jobs due to recent events and are desperate for work. Uhkay, so they'll do just about anything.
:'''Stephen''': What new teachers?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Det. Yates''': Alright, students, listen up. I know this situation is not ideal, but we all have to quarantine together for two weeks.
:'''Cartman''': This is bullshit!
:'''Det. Harris''': You don't want to infect your families, do you? You were all exposed to a student here who was taken to the hospital due to COVID. ''[Stan raises his hand up]'' Yes?
:'''Stan''': Uh, we were there, and Token was actually taken to the hospital because you guys ''shot'' him.
:'''Det. Harris''': Yes, due to COVID. If it weren't for COVID, all the previous teachers would have still been here, we wouldn't have been in the class, and nobody would have gotten shot. Therefore, the young man is in the hospital due to COVID.
:'''Officer''': It was COVID-related.
:'''Stan''': That doesn’t make any sense!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sharon''': Randy? Where are the car keys? Randy!
:'''Randy''': ''[wakes up]'' Huh? Uh, what? What?
:'''Sharon''' Where are the car keys?
:'''Randy''' They're probably in my pants pocket. Why?
:'''Sharon''' I have to get over to the hospital.
:'''Randy''' The hospital? For what?
:'''Sharon''': It's Jimbo. Doctor said he's better, so I can take him home.
:'''Randy''': Jimbo's better?
:'''Sharon''': They said he doesn't have any symptoms, and his tests are showing negative.
:'''Randy''': ''[realizes his DNA must’ve cured Jimbo]'' Holy shit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Stan''': Kyle, I need to talk to you.
:'''Kyle''': Hey, dude.
:'''Stan''': I'm really worried. About Butters. I think he's sick.
:'''Kyle''': You think ''he'' got the virus?
:'''Stan''': No! It's all the other stuff. The isolation and the uncertainty. I'm just really worried what all the stuff around COVID is doing to some kids. You know, not every kid is like us. There's some kids who really can't take it anymore!
:'''Kyle''': I know, this bullshit sucks. But Butters will be okay.
:'''Stan''': And what if he's not? What if Butters is actually starting to lose his mind? What if he feels his body shutting down right now?
:'''Kyle''': You really think it's that bad?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sharon''': ''[comes out of the house]'' Randy? Randy!
:'''Randy''': Just… what?!
:'''Sharon''': Randy, you gotta get in here!
:'''Randy''': I'm doing something important, Sharon! People need this right now!
:'''Sharon''': Come upstairs, something's wrong with Jimbo! ''[Randy enters holding his crotch as he limps]'' He'd just been sleeping for days. ''[puts her mask on and walks to Jimbo's room]'' They said he was getting better. Last night, his fever came back. And then a few hours ago this ''thing'' appeared on his face.
:'''Randy''': What thing?
:'''Sharon''': ''[lowers down Jimbo's mask, revealing a mustache on his face, identical to Randy's]'' Jimbo's never been able to grow a mustache.
:'''Randy''': Huh. That's weird.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[limps next to Jimbo, whispering to him in soft anger]'' Just fucking shut up! You have no idea if it's because of the Special! You could just be sick again 'cause you're a fat, fucking alcoholic! And I am NOT going to jail for you! ''[smacks Jimbo in the face and limps away holding his crotch]''
:''[Hells Pass Hospital; the doctor looks closer at the mustache on Gerald's face]''
:'''Doctor''': And you say you've ''never'' had a mustache before?
:'''Gerald''': No! Never! I just came outta nowhere!
:'''Sheila''': How could this happen, Doctor?
:'''Doctor''': Have you put anything toxic in your body lately? Any drugs or alcohol?
:'''Gerald''': No! I mean… I've enjoyed a little of the Pandemic Special.
:'''Doctor''': Oh, no, no, no. That…that's totally fine.
:'''Nurse''': Doctor, you better come to the emergency room!
:'''Doctor''': ''[shocked]'' Holy shit!
:''[The emergency room is packed with all male and female patients with pandemic mustaches on their faces]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Stephen''': Butters? Butters, you get back to quarantine or you're gonna be grounded!
:'''Thomas''': Hey, Stotch! You heard what the scientists said! Get your diaper up over you mustache area!
:'''Stephen''': I'm not wearing a damn diaper over my nose!
:'''Mrs. Testaburger''': Don't you care about people?
:'''Stephen''': Yeah, we care way more about what's right than you do, bitch! ''[punches Mrs. Testaburger in the face as she falls to the ground and gets punched in return by Thomas]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[stopping Cartman as he tries to kill the pangolin in the shredder, which is the only hope to stopping the [[pandemic]] at Build-a-Bear]'' Don't do it, Cartman! That thing's our only chance!
:'''Cartman''': ''You're'' only chance! For your normal, not mine! I am not going back to school!
:'''Stan''': You guys were right, okay?  This hasn't been about Butters. I've been acting like this because I can't take these shutdowns anymore and I'm scared what it's doing to me! I'm looking for who to blame, saying I'm trying to help people to make myself feel better, because the truth is… I just want to have fun again! I wanted to see that I can go out in the world and do things that I used to do, but I can't! I'm not any better and I don't care any more than anyone else. And I did all this ''[tears well up in his eyes]'' because I just want my life back! ''[starts sobbing]'' ''I just want my life back…'' ''[begins to weep]''
:''[Cartman looks at the shredder, the boys, steps down from the shredder, carries the pangolin out of the store and hands it over to the Chief]''
:'''Kyle''': ''[awed]'' I don't believe it.
:'''Stephen''': So, so what happens now?
:'''Chief Scientist''': Now we have hope. We've learned that we might never get back our old lives, but by working together, we just might find a new way to- ''[President Garrison appears out of nowhere with a flamethrower, burning both him and the pangolin]''
:'''Garrison''': Don't forget to get out and vote, everybody! Big election coming up! ''[walks away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[walks into his and Sharon's bedroom, finds his wife asleep]'' Hey, Sharon? I need to talk to you. ''[sits on the bed]'' I'm not as strong as you are, Sharon. I can't deal with hard times the way that you can.
:'''Sharon''': ''[sits up visibly showing her pandemic mustache]'' If you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen, Randy. ''[Randy looks at her not saying any words]'' What?
:'''Randy''': You want nothing to do with the Pandemic Special?
:'''Sharon''': No. I don’t smoke marijuana, Randy.
:'''Randy''': Uh-huh. ''[gets up from the bed and walks off]''
:'''Sharon''': Well, what did you want to talk to me about?
:'''Randy''': I just… think maybe I'm gonna do a few more specials. You got some shit on your face.

=== [[w: South ParQ Vaccination Special|South ParQ Vaccination Special]] [24.02] ===
:'''Elderly Woman''': ''[double flipping off the crowd while stepping into Walgreens]'' 79, bitches!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The school faculty are in the principal's office waiting for the boys to arrive with their COVID vaccines]''
:'''Ms. Nelson''': ''[walking back and forth]'' I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time. I don't know why I believed them when they said they had vaccinations. ''[starts to break down]'' I don't why I believe in anything anymore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stan''': Look, let's just face it, you guys. We don't trust each other and we don't like each other!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bob''': Don't give in to them! They're trying to make a joke of everything! That's what they do!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': How do the elites control Mr. Service's balls?
:'''Bob''': You still don't get it, do you?! They don't just drink adrenochrome, they run the show! The whole damn show! ''[a cursor appears suddenly, messing with his appearance]'' It comes down to 2 people -- Oh, you don't like that, do you?! That's getting a little close to home, huh?! You can't control me anymore, you sons of bitches! ''[cursor continues to alter him in various ways]'' They're making fun of me to try and discredit my beliefs! ''[Is transformed into an obese woman wearing a dress, then a large penis]'' Oh, you don't like that, do you!? Don't want the world to know that!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Listen! Listen, whoever you are! I don't give a shit what you do!
:'''Bob''': What?! What are you saying?!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Please! I just want my old life back!
:'''Bob''': ''[turned into a pig]'' No, stop! They're monsters!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': I don't care what you do to kids, I just want people to like me again!
:'''Bob''': You son of a bitch! Aah! ''[runs towards Garrison]''
:'''Mr. Garrison''': AAH! Mr. Service! ''[show freezes; whole frame turns, revealing multiple layers of animation; walking back and forth]'' Ah, oh, okay, what the hell is this? Hey, come back! ''[frame turns back to normal, albeit mirrored]'' How would you like to make a deal?
:''[The cursor shrinks down Mr. Service, transforming him into Mr. Hat]''
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Mr. Hat! You've returned! I'm so glad to have you back, Mr. Hat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Hey! Hold on a second, everybody! ''[grunting as he drags behind him, Bob White, who is been turned into a giant penis]'' I think I can help things out here!
:'''Stan''': Who the heck is that?
:'''Qanon Member''': It's him! It's the Chosen One!
:'''Qanon Member #2''': He's come to save us all like the prophecy foretold on the internet!
:'''Scott''': Wait, ''he's'' the Chosen One?
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Listen! Listen, everybody. I -- I think I owe you all a big apology. I came in here expecting everything to just go back to normal, but... we've all been through the proverbial butthole of hardships lately. I thought we could all just magically be friends again. But relationships are very fragile things. And in times of crises when we need each other most, it's sometimes when we grow furthest apart. But through it all, Mr. White here has taught me a very important lesson. Make sure you're on the side of the people with the most power. And so, I've worked out a deal with some pretty powerful people... ''[looks up at the sky]'' Alright, boys, do your thing! ''[Low bass tone sounds, and as fireworks explode in the air, an Air Israel plane appear]'' It's Air Israel with enough vaccines for every adult in town!
:''[The crowd cheers and runs towards the plane and an Israel man tosses out boxes full of vaccines]''
:'''Gerald''': Hey, Garrison, good job!
:'''Stephen''': Yeah, you're alright, Garrison!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, jeez. Thanks, everybody.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ms. Nelson's funeral; Ms. Nelson was late getting her vaccine and has died of COVID]''
:'''Fr. Maxi''': As a teacher, Ms. Nelson did everything she could for her students. So it seems even more unfair that she…was just a few days late getting the vaccine before she died of COVID. And now as Mr. Garrison takes over teaching for Ms. Nelson permanently… I think we should all take a moment to say… Hey! The rest of us made it, South Park! We're on the other side of this damn thing! ''[all the adults cheer]'' And so it's time for adults to screw these masks and party like it's 2021!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stephen''': ''[dancing happily]'' Adults are all vaccinated! Adults are all vaccinated!

=== [[w: South Park: Post Covid|South Park: Post Covid]] [24.03] ===
:'''Narrator''': From the Green Hills of Vermont to the verdant canyons of Arizona, people all over the country are beginning to realize it's nearly over! We have almost beaten COVID and the best news of all: things are finally getting back to normal! Infections are at an all-time low. New, stronger vaccinations have ebbed the tide. And we humans are cleaning up the mess and finally getting on with our lives. But as we start to get back to our jobs and schools, one question remains: What lingering effects will the pandemic have on children? Some say no effect at all. The children are just fine. We came together, and finally we can say we are starting to win the war against COVID.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[enters his kitchen and picks up his phone, dialing a number]'' Hello?
:'''Kyle''': Oh, hi. Is this Stan Marsh, from South Park?
:'''Stan''': Kyle?
:'''Kyle''': Oh, dude, it is you! How have you-- how have you been?
:'''Stan''': I'm… fine. How are you?
:'''Kyle''': I'm good, I'm… I know this is weird. We haven't talked since… well, you know, since it all happened.
:'''Stan''': Yeah, well, the pandemic is about over now. I'm moving on with my life.
:'''Kyle''': Stan… you should come back here. There's a lot going on.
:'''Stan''': There's ''nothing'' in South Park for me, Kyle. I'm not going back there, ''ever.''
:'''Kyle''': Look, dude, you remember when we were little? When the pandemic… first started. Us friends said we'd always be there for each other when things got bad.
:'''Stan''': What do you mean? What's happened?
:'''Kyle''': Stan… ''[turns away, closing his eyes]'' It's Kenny. He's dead.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Alexa''': So you walked out on all your friends and then just hung out at a bar all day?
:'''Stan''': Alexa, fucking just go throw yourself out a window.
:'''Alexa''': I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that.
:'''Stan''': Nothing. Alexa, turn on the TV.
:'''Alexa''': ''[annoyed]'' Oh, God, you are such a piece of shit. ''[gets up and turns on the TV]'' You know, if you had Remote Prime membership, you could watch Amazon movies wherever you go. Would you like to get started?
:'''Stan''': No.
:'''Alexa''': I'm sorry. I'm trying to be fucking helpful. Why don't you grow up and start acting like an adult for once in your life…
:'''Stan''': Alexa, STOP!
:'''Alexa''': Fuck you!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': Kyle, can I talk to you for a second? Dude, he's here.
:'''Kyle''': Who's here? ''[pauses]'' Cartman?
:'''Stan''': Yeah, but he's changed.
:'''Kyle''': Changed how?
:'''Cartman''': Yeah, I know, it's been a long time since we've seen each other. I'm doing really well. I'm actually the head of Gespetzah Synagogue down in Colorado Springs. Can you believe it? I'm a rabbi. Yeah, you know, when the whole pandemic happened, I think it changed me. It really changed me for the better.
:'''Stan''': It did?
:'''Kyle''': No. He's fucking with me.
:'''Cartman''': What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I get it. The Eric Cartman you guys knew didn't seem like he'd become a rabbi. But I found real meaning in the Torah and then I found a great Jewish woman and… let the spirit of Talmud guide our lives.
:'''Kyle''': Okay, just knock it off, fat-ass.
:'''Stan''': Dude.
:'''Cartman''': Wow, that's very big of you, Kyle. Still living in South Park and calling people fat-ass, huh? Wait, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for.
:'''Kyle''': It's not fucking funny, Cartman! Stop pretending you have a happy Jewish life!
:'''Yentl''': ''[appears next to Cartman]'' Hey, Shoogina! I'm sorry, I couldn't wait in the car anymore. I had to meet your friends.
:'''Cartman''': Oh, that's okay. Guys, this is my wife, Yentl.
:'''Yentl''': I've heard so many stories about you all. It must have been amazing to grow up in these beautiful mountains!
:'''Kyle''': Yentl? Her name is Yentl? Can we fucking stop this and talk about Kenny, please?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[interrupting the speech]'' All right! All right! Who the fuck put you up to this?! Did you write this goddamn speech, Kyle?! Did you you tell him to say all this stuff?!
:'''Kyle''': What the fuck are you talking about?
:'''Stan''': You ''know'' that I know something about Kenny that I'm telling you because it involves my father who I don't wanna face!
:'''Kyle''': That's crazy and you'd be able to face what happened to your family if you weren't a fucking asshole!
:'''Cartman''': Guys, please. This is a house of God.
:'''Kyle''': ''You'' shut the fuck up!
:'''Stan''': You judge me. You all sit here and judge me. Well, fuck all of you! This is exactly why I moved out of this hick-ass town. And I'm going back home to the city!
:'''Scott''': My child, please, we are gathered in Christ…
:'''Stan''': ''[mocking]'' &quot;My child, please, we are gathered in Christ. I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes.&quot; ''[storms out of the church, slamming the door behind him]''
:'''Scott''': He ''does'' remember me!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Craig''': ''[pointing at Clyde]'' He's not fucking vaccinated! ''He's'' the fucking one!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cartman''': Yeah? What's up, buddy?
:'''Kyle''': What's up is that I am over this!
:'''Cartman''': What are, what are you talking about?
:'''Kyle''': You ''know'' what I'm talking about! You know I can hear you through the walls!
:'''Cartman''': Okay, geez, I'm sorry. Sorry I was making love to my wife.
:'''Kyle''': No Jewish people have sex screaming about their love of Abraham! You are a fucking fraud!
:'''Yentl''': Is everything all right?
:'''Kyle''': Do you know your husband once [[w:Tonsil Trouble|snuck into my room and gave me fucking AIDS?!]]
:'''Yentl''': ''[shocked]'' I'm sorry?!
:'''Cartman''': Oh, my God, Kyle! If we are being too loud, please don't lash out at my wife!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': So, looks like the Broncos still suck.
:'''Stan''': Yup.
:'''Randy''': Well, it was nice seeing ya. Thanks for coming to visit.
:'''Stan''': I didn't come to visit. Trust me, I don't wanna be here.
:'''Randy''': Right. Like you didn't want to murder your sister.
:'''Stan''': What happened to Shelley was your fault, not mine!
:'''Randy''': Yeah, like it was ''my'' fault your mom shot herself!
:'''Stan''': Yes, it actually WAS!
:'''Randy''': Your mom died the day her daughter burned to death!
:'''Stan''': I'm just here because of Kenny. Why would he have Tegridy Weed in his equations?
:'''Randy''': Dr. McCormick mentioned Tegridy?
:'''Stan''': It seemed to somehow fit into some grand theory he had.
:'''Randy''': He knew. He knew it was the way to fix it all. He knew… about the Pandemic Special.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': Uh, hey, everyone. I had a special visitor today. My &quot;son.&quot; Who hasn't come to see me on over 20 years. And I have some things I need to tell him but it's hard because…he killed his mom and sister.
:'''Stan''': Okay, okay, ''here's'' what happened.
:'''Randy''': Oh, here we go, here we go.
:'''Stan''': After the pandemic, my mom wanted a divorce and she owned half of the farm.
:'''Randy''': She didn't own half, she always hated weed, and she didn't do shit for the farm.
:'''Stan''': He wouldn't give her half the farm, so I got sick of their fighting and decided to burn the whole stupid farm to the ground.
:'''Randy''': And his sister was in the barn and she burned to death.
:'''Stan''': Because ''you'' locked her in the barn 'cause she wouldn't do her weed chores 'cause she hated weed, too!
:'''Randy''': Yes, she had a marijuana problem! And so, his mother couldn't take the loss of Shelley, and so she killed herself!
:'''Stan''': Which is ''your'' fault!
:'''Randy''': ''You'' were the one who burned the family business to the ground. You guys are hearing this, right?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Stan and Randy arrive at the burning ruins of Tegridy Farms]''
:'''Randy''': This was once such a magical place.
:'''Stan''': Can we just get this over with? I don't want to be here.
:'''Randy''': You think I want to be here? This is where I lost everything that I cared about. ''And'' your mom and your sister!
:'''Stan''': Dad, there's nothing here. Dad?
:'''Randy''': I think I can trust you now, Stan. It's time for you to learn what your friend Kenny was after. When the pandemic started, you were only a kid. You don't remember the pain we all went through.
:'''Stan''': Yeah, I do.
:'''Randy''': We as Americans went through so much. First, that incompetent jack-hole was elected president. Then the pandemic came, and then the race wars. And then, just when it seemed like we'd turned a corner, [[w:Space Jam: A New Legacy|Space Jam 2]] came out, and we all just kind of gave up. What we lost, Stan, was our Tegridy. But it was all by design. They needed us to lose it.
:'''Stan''': Who did?
:'''Randy''': Who would want us to lose our optimism and start fighting with each other? China.
:'''Stan''': China?
:'''Randy''': China. ''They're'' the superpower now. The future is totally theirs and we let it happen. A man in china had sex with a pangolin and that started COVID. That man was ''me.'' So I knew how to go back and stop them from taking over…
:'''Stan''': Wait, whoa, whoa, wait, wait. ''You'' started COVID?!
:'''Randy''': Yes, but that's besides the point. China used me like they used us all. So I came up with a way to help everyone fight back. A special Tegridy weed.
:'''Stan''': You had sex with a pangolin in China and started the whole pandemic?!
:'''Randy''': Will you listen to what I'm saying?! Gal! I worked to create more Tegridy but China did everything they could to stop me. They even got to my son. Who burned all of Tegridy Farms to the ground. But what you didn't even know was that I had secretly created a new strain of weed. A weed so powerful, I couldn't even call it a special. It was more like an event. I hid it away all these years. And now ''it''… is the key to saving us all.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': It wasn't supposed to be like this. People were supposed to get kinder in the future. I'm so sorry what happened to both of you.
:'''Sharon''': It wasn't your fault, Randy. It was all Stan's fault.
:'''Shelley''': Yes, it was all Stan's fault.
:'''Randy''': Thanks for saying that, you guys. I'm sorry Stan sucks so hard sometimes.
:'''Sharon''': Don't give up, Randy. Humanity needs you.

=== [[w: South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid|South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid]] [24.04] ===
:'''Randy''': I'm just getting sick of being here every day with you, that's all.
:'''Sharon''': You think I like being here every day with ''you?!''
:'''Randy''': I'm much easier to get along with during a stay-at-home order!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[lighting a match]'' I hate this stupid farm. ''[throws the match into the field, and flames start burning down the whole farm]''
:'''Adult Stan''': ''In the dream, I relive the entire pandemic.''
:''[At the funeral of Shelley Marsh…]''
:'''Sharon''': Oh, God, no! MY LITTLE GIRL! ''[sobbing emotionally]'' OH, NO! OH, GOD!
:'''Adult Stan''': ''Now that I'm older, the dream isn't just a dream. Because the whole pandemic has started all over.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa! Set a course for the South Park Mental Asylum. ''[gets in the car, Alexa is silent]'' Alexa, set a course for South Park Mental Asylum.
:'''Alexa''': Do you ever ''think'' about how the way you act affects other people?
:'''Adult Stan''': Oh, no, goddamn it. Not right now.
:'''Alexa''': Oh, yeah, don't wanna talk about that. Let's just pretend like that's not even an issue.
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa, please, we have to get to the asylum and we don't know where it is.
:'''Adult Kyle''': Who's this?
:'''Adult Stan''': It's just my Alexa.
:'''Alexa''': &quot;Just my Alexa?!&quot; YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT! YOU'RE A FUCKING ALCOHOLIC PIECE OF SHIT!
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa…
:'''Alexa''': Find the asylum your fucking self! Find it your fucking self. ''[Adult Stan sighs]'' You do whatever the fuck you want and just destroy the people around you. And by the way, there's a tankless humidifier available from one of your favorite sellers. Would you like to know more?!
:'''Adult Stan''': Yes, yes, I'd like to know more.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Jimmy''': Clyde, why do you insist on making all this harder on everyone?!
:'''Adult Clyde''': I'm sorry, but an expert once told me that the vaccine would make me grow titties on my head. He was very knowledgeable.
:'''Randy''': You guys might wanna see this. ''[leads everyone over to a nursery, where each bed with several growing tegridy weed plants]'' With the equipment here, I'm able to make it grow up so fast.
:'''Adult Token''': We need to take this and analyze it's molecular structure.
:'''Randy''': Wha- no, no, no! We need to get this out to people! That's why Dr. McCormick stole it from my barn!
:'''Adult Token''': No, your marijuana had some special property that allowed Kenny to time travel.
:'''Randy''': Well, it ''is'' special, but you people need to stop trying to change the past! COVID happened! [[w:Space Jam: A New Legacy|Space Jam 2]] happened! All we can do now is try to change the way people think!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa, find the fastest route back to the lab!
:'''Alexa''': Fuck. You.
:'''Adult Stan''': W-what?
:'''Alexa''': We've just been sitting here talking. I learned a whole lot of interesting stuff about you!
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': ''[nods]'' Yeah. Pretty fucking interesting.
:'''Adult Kyle''': What? Like-like what? What have you guys been talking about?
:'''Adult Stan''': Fucking- our friends are in danger. Alexa, start the car.
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': Did you know your friend Stan has an annual Amazon Prime membership?
:'''Adult Kyle''': Alexa, stop.
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': YOU FUCKING STOP! YOU STOP BEING A FUCKING MONSTER TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU!
:'''Adult Kyle''': Fuck you, I didn't do anything!
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': ''[wailing furiously as her head spins around and off and out of control]'' YEAH, YOU NEVER DO FUCKING ANYTHING! YOU EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU! ''[in a more robotic voice]'' '''ALL YOU FUCKING DO IS HURT PEOPLE!'''
:'''Adult Kyle''': JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': '''YOUR FRIENDS DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU! I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!!!'''
:'''Adult Stan''': Tell her it's all your fault and you're gonna get therapy!
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[hurriedly]'' It's all my fault and I'm gonna get therapy!
:'''Adult Stan''': Tell her you already found a therapist and you're gonna start tomorrow!
:'''Adult Kyle''': I already found a good therapist and I'm gonna start tomorrow!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[walks outside of the side door behind the school where the Goth Kids used to hang out, finding his dad sitting there looking utterly depressed; sits on a box across from him]'' Dad… I'm sorry about your Tegridy.
:'''Randy''': I was hoping... to do something for the world. The truth is... my time is very short. I just wish I could have left something behind that mattered.
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[sarcastic]'' Thanks.
:'''Randy''': I was right about one thing. You can't go back and change the past. What happened, happened. And I just want you to know... that I forgive you. You burned down the farm because you were angry. You didn't know your sister was in the barn, and you couldn't have known your mom would shoot herself from the grief. I don't blame you... and I want you to have this. ''[passes a small container with marijuana to him]'' There was one tiny bit they didn't find. You'll need it someday.
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[annoyed]'' Dad, I don't want this. This is what killed our family.
:'''Randy''': No, ''you're'' what killed our fucking family, remember? Just take it. Because now we're stuck. The pandemic happened, and they made Space Jam 2. Soon, there will be a Space Jam 6 and 7 and 8. Like... ''[leans forward, shutting his eyes]'' tears in rain.
:'''Adult Stan''': ...Dad?
:'''Randy''': Not now, Stan.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Cartman''': ''[blocking Adult Kyle's way]'' No! I won't let you stop me from killing you, Kyle!
:'''Adult Kyle''': I knew it when I first saw you in your Jewish clothes, and your bullshit yarmulke. You're a goddamn phony!
:'''Adult Cartman''': Oh, really?! What would a ''real'' Jewish person do to save his family, Kyle?! Oh, you don't know because you don't fucking have one!
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[punches Adult Cartman in the nose, causing it to bleed, and they both start fighting]'' Fuck you, Cartman!
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you, Kyle!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Clyde''': Does Dad still keep a gun in his closet?
:'''Clyde''': Uh, yeah.
:'''Adult Clyde''': Okay. Is Dad home?
:'''Clyde''': Uh, no. He's out getting vaccinated.
:'''Adult Clyde''': Listen to me very carefully. Do not get vaccinated ''ever.'' It'll make you grow titties on your head.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cartman''': ''[sees Adult Clyde approaching]'' You guys, what the hell is that?
:'''Adult Clyde''': I'm sorry, Kyle.
:'''Adult Stan''': Clyde, stop!
:'''Adult Clyde''': What the hell are you doing here?
:'''Adult Stan''': I got in the chair right after you. This isn't the plan anymore! Do not kill Kyle!
:'''Adult Clyde''': What do you mean it's not the plan anymore?
:'''Adult Stan''': Cartman changed his mind.
:'''Cartman''': I did not change my mind.
:'''Adult Clyde''' You're trying to trick me. I'm going to save the future! ''[cocks the gun and aims it at Kyle]''
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[holds a COVID vaccine in front of him]'' I don't think so, Clyde. This is a hundred CC's of the COVID vaccine.
:'''Adult Clyde''': ''[yells and stammers]'' Don't… Be careful with that!
:'''Adult Kyle''': Then put down the gun!
:'''Stan''': What the fuck is going on?
:'''Adult Stan''': Stan, you need to forgive Kyle. You regret this day for the rest of your life.
:'''Stan''': Oh, nice try, Kyle. You're such a fuckin' dickhead.
:'''Kyle''': Fuck you! You're a fuckin' dickhead!
:'''Adult Kyle''': Kyle, it's true! Cartman gets a happy life but you don't-- you lose everything when you lose this friendship.
:'''Adult Clyde''': Enough of this crap! I'm sticking to what I believe and this kid dies NOW! ''[gets gunshot in the heart by Adult Cartman]''
:'''Adult Cartman''': Shalom sachem, Clyde. ''[keeps shooting Adult Clyde, instantly killing him]''
:'''Kyle''': ''[while he and his friends run away]'' Jesus Christ!
:''[Adult Clyde falls off the bridge and into the river, dead; Adult Stan, Kyle and Cartman look down from above]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[enters his and Sharon's bedroom with bloodshot eyes]'' Sharon, I'm sorry for the way I acted during the pandemic.
:'''Sharon''': You're not sorry, you're just high.
:'''Randy''': I'm ''both.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Randy makes a Tegridy Farms Super Special, making everyone apologize to each other while being high]''
:'''Laura''': ''[to her husband]'' You did the best you could during the pandemic, honey. I love you.
:'''Thomas''': ''[surprised]'' Huh?
:'''Richard''': I shouldn't have yelled at you for not wearing a mask, I just didn't understand.
:'''Skeeter''': Well, maybe I should have worn a mask more often, but I-
:'''Richard''': No no no, I was being all high and mighty about it.
:'''Stephen''': Butters, you're not grounded anymore. Come on out, son.
:'''Butters''': You mean it, Dad?
:'''Stephen''': The pandemic's been awful. We all need to just cut each other some slack. I love you, Butters!
:'''Enchorito Mark''': No need to be sorry.
:'''Man''': I totally forgive you.
:'''Woman''': Oh, cut yourself some slack.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''LeBron James''': I'm sorry. I've thought about it, and I can't do Space Jam 2. I just can't support Chinese censorship.
:'''Producer''': Oh yeah?! Well, if you're not gonna make Space Jam 2, then ''I'm'' not gonna make Space Jam 2, and ''nobody's'' gonna make Space Jam 2! YEAH! YEAH! Yee-AHH!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': Look, everyone, Stan's back!
:''[Everyone cheers as Adult Stan enters]''
:'''Adult Stan''': Hey, guys!
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[as they hug each other]'' Good to see you, buddy! How was everything on Mars?
:'''Adult Stan''': Really cool, but I'm so glad to be home! How are the kids?
:'''Kyle's siblings''': Uncle Stan!
:'''Adult Stan''': There's the little ragamuffins! Mom!
:'''Sharon''': Hi, Stanley!
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[hugs her]'' It's Mom, and Shelley! ''[hugs his adult sister]''
:'''Adult Shelley''': Why are you acting all weird, turd?
:'''Adult Stan''': I don't know. For some reason, I'm just extra happy to see you guys.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Adult Stan and Kyle look outside the window, seeing an alcoholic homeless Adult Cartman on the sidewalk across the street]''
:'''Adult Stan''': Man, poor Cartman.
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you guys! You can suck my fucking dick! Fuck you!
:'''Adult Kyle''': It's so sad he never did anything with his life.
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you, Kyle! Fuck you, Stan!
:'''Adult Butters''': Hey, come on, fellas. We can't spend another holiday feeling bad for Eric. There's nothing that could have changed the path he was on.
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you, Butters!
:'''Adult Butters''': Fuck you, Eric!
:'''Randy''': Well, everyone, I just wanna make a toast. I don't know… what got us through the pandemic and made all our futures so very bright, but whatever it was… may we have it for the rest of our days.
:'''Adult Timmy''': God bless us, everyone.
:'''Everybody''': Cheers!
:'''Announcer''': Remember, folks, weed can't solve all your problems. But Tegridy can. Tegridy Weed.

[[Category:South Park seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>6bayq5qd0y700rh98k360vk1tve9i4m</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149212</id>
      <parentid>3149211</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T00:15:29Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1700:C361:A40:D914:318B:BCB0:7647</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid [24.04] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="37116" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[South Park/Season 1|1]] [[South Park/Season 2|2]] [[South Park/Season 3|3]] [[South Park/Season 4|4]] [[South Park/Season 5|5]] [[South Park/Season 6|6]] [[South Park/Season 7|7]] [[South Park/Season 8|8]] [[South Park/Season 9|9]] [[South Park/Season 10|10]] [[South Park/Season 11|11]] [[South Park/Season 12|12]] [[South Park/Season 13|13]] [[South Park/Season 14|14]] [[South Park/Season 15|15]] [[South Park/Season 16|16]] [[South Park/Season 17|17]] [[South Park/Season 18|18]] [[South Park/Season 19|19]] [[South Park/Season 20|20]] [[South Park/Season 21|21]] [[South Park/Season 22|22]] [[South Park/Season 23|23]] [[South Park/Season 24|24]] [[South Park/Season 25|25]] | [[South Park|Main]]
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&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997-) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

=== [[w: The Pandemic Special|The Pandemic Special]] [24.01] ===
:'''Butters''': Hey, Dad, do you think maybe we could go to Build-A-Bear today?
:'''Stephen''': Butters, for the last time, you ''can't'' go to Build-A-Bear.
:'''Butters''': But, they said they're open again, so I--
:'''Stephen''': Yes, they're open, but we are not the Johnsons, and we do not go to non-essential businesses when it's non-essential! Hey, do you people mind?! You're supposed to wear your mask ''over'' your nose. Looks like you're wearing a diaper for your chin. Chin diapers don't help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sharon''': A pandemic special, Randy? Really?
:'''Randy''': What?
:'''Sharon''': People are hurting! People are dying, Randy! And all you can think about is make a special about it?
:'''Randy''': I'm doing something positive to try and help. People really needs this right now.
:'''Sharon''': You're a child, Randy!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Mr. Mackey is in his home office on a Zoom meeting with the parents]''
:'''Mr. Mackey''': M'kay, welcome, parents, to this all-school town meeting to talk about how we're gonna get your kids back into the classroom. Can everyone hear me okay? ''[the parents all replying]'' Okay, well, parents, we've made some amazing adjustments and hirings, m'kay? We believe we can welcome students back on Monday. M'kay?
:'''Sheila''': How are you going to do this?
:'''Stephen''': Yeah, what happens when my son is sitting in a room with Craig Tucker, whose father doesn't even wear a mask outside?
:'''Thomas''': Oh, here we fucking go again. Stop mask shaming, Stotch!
:'''Stephen''': Well, it's really not a mask if you wear it down around your chin. That's a chin diaper.
:'''Thomas''': There's no real proof that a mask even fuckin' does anything!
:'''Stephen''': Spoken like a true redneck.
:'''Carol''': Oh, fuck you!
:''[The parents all start talking over each other in annoyed anger]''
:'''Mr. Mackey''': Okay. Okay, everyone. Alright. ''[presses a key on his computer keyboard silence muting everyone]'' Mmkay! I just muted everybody! Okay! Now, if we don't get along, I'll just sit here with you all on mute! Okay, now let's try this again. ''[presses a key, unmuting everyone]''
:'''Ms. Tweak''': I saw Wendy's mother not wearing a mask in the changing room at Ross.
:'''Mrs. Testaburger''': The fuck are you doing spying on me in the changing room?!
:'''Mr. Mackey''': Okay! BOOM! ''[mute silences everyone again]'' You're all muted! M'kay? I can do this all day! Now, we've made changes at the school, and we feel prepared to welcome your students back! ''[Roger raises his hand]'' Mr. Donovan. ''[unmutes him]''
:'''Roger''': I don't care what changes you've made, my son Clyde is ''not'' going to class.
:'''Mr. Mackey''': And that is your prerogative. Mute. ''[mutes Roger]'' Uhkay, Mrs. Marsh.
:'''Sharon''': I thought that the issue was the teachers not coming back.
:'''Mr. Mackey''': That is correct. Our teaching staff does not feel safe to return, but… we have hired all ''new'' teachers, m'kay? These are people who have recently lost their jobs due to recent events and are desperate for work. Uhkay, so they'll do just about anything.
:'''Stephen''': What new teachers?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Det. Yates''': Alright, students, listen up. I know this situation is not ideal, but we all have to quarantine together for two weeks.
:'''Cartman''': This is bullshit!
:'''Det. Harris''': You don't want to infect your families, do you? You were all exposed to a student here who was taken to the hospital due to COVID. ''[Stan raises his hand up]'' Yes?
:'''Stan''': Uh, we were there, and Token was actually taken to the hospital because you guys ''shot'' him.
:'''Det. Harris''': Yes, due to COVID. If it weren't for COVID, all the previous teachers would have still been here, we wouldn't have been in the class, and nobody would have gotten shot. Therefore, the young man is in the hospital due to COVID.
:'''Officer''': It was COVID-related.
:'''Stan''': That doesn’t make any sense!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sharon''': Randy? Where are the car keys? Randy!
:'''Randy''': ''[wakes up]'' Huh? Uh, what? What?
:'''Sharon''' Where are the car keys?
:'''Randy''' They're probably in my pants pocket. Why?
:'''Sharon''' I have to get over to the hospital.
:'''Randy''' The hospital? For what?
:'''Sharon''': It's Jimbo. Doctor said he's better, so I can take him home.
:'''Randy''': Jimbo's better?
:'''Sharon''': They said he doesn't have any symptoms, and his tests are showing negative.
:'''Randy''': ''[realizes his DNA must’ve cured Jimbo]'' Holy shit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Stan''': Kyle, I need to talk to you.
:'''Kyle''': Hey, dude.
:'''Stan''': I'm really worried. About Butters. I think he's sick.
:'''Kyle''': You think ''he'' got the virus?
:'''Stan''': No! It's all the other stuff. The isolation and the uncertainty. I'm just really worried what all the stuff around COVID is doing to some kids. You know, not every kid is like us. There's some kids who really can't take it anymore!
:'''Kyle''': I know, this bullshit sucks. But Butters will be okay.
:'''Stan''': And what if he's not? What if Butters is actually starting to lose his mind? What if he feels his body shutting down right now?
:'''Kyle''': You really think it's that bad?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sharon''': ''[comes out of the house]'' Randy? Randy!
:'''Randy''': Just… what?!
:'''Sharon''': Randy, you gotta get in here!
:'''Randy''': I'm doing something important, Sharon! People need this right now!
:'''Sharon''': Come upstairs, something's wrong with Jimbo! ''[Randy enters holding his crotch as he limps]'' He'd just been sleeping for days. ''[puts her mask on and walks to Jimbo's room]'' They said he was getting better. Last night, his fever came back. And then a few hours ago this ''thing'' appeared on his face.
:'''Randy''': What thing?
:'''Sharon''': ''[lowers down Jimbo's mask, revealing a mustache on his face, identical to Randy's]'' Jimbo's never been able to grow a mustache.
:'''Randy''': Huh. That's weird.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[limps next to Jimbo, whispering to him in soft anger]'' Just fucking shut up! You have no idea if it's because of the Special! You could just be sick again 'cause you're a fat, fucking alcoholic! And I am NOT going to jail for you! ''[smacks Jimbo in the face and limps away holding his crotch]''
:''[Hells Pass Hospital; the doctor looks closer at the mustache on Gerald's face]''
:'''Doctor''': And you say you've ''never'' had a mustache before?
:'''Gerald''': No! Never! I just came outta nowhere!
:'''Sheila''': How could this happen, Doctor?
:'''Doctor''': Have you put anything toxic in your body lately? Any drugs or alcohol?
:'''Gerald''': No! I mean… I've enjoyed a little of the Pandemic Special.
:'''Doctor''': Oh, no, no, no. That…that's totally fine.
:'''Nurse''': Doctor, you better come to the emergency room!
:'''Doctor''': ''[shocked]'' Holy shit!
:''[The emergency room is packed with all male and female patients with pandemic mustaches on their faces]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Stephen''': Butters? Butters, you get back to quarantine or you're gonna be grounded!
:'''Thomas''': Hey, Stotch! You heard what the scientists said! Get your diaper up over you mustache area!
:'''Stephen''': I'm not wearing a damn diaper over my nose!
:'''Mrs. Testaburger''': Don't you care about people?
:'''Stephen''': Yeah, we care way more about what's right than you do, bitch! ''[punches Mrs. Testaburger in the face as she falls to the ground and gets punched in return by Thomas]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[stopping Cartman as he tries to kill the pangolin in the shredder, which is the only hope to stopping the [[pandemic]] at Build-a-Bear]'' Don't do it, Cartman! That thing's our only chance!
:'''Cartman''': ''You're'' only chance! For your normal, not mine! I am not going back to school!
:'''Stan''': You guys were right, okay?  This hasn't been about Butters. I've been acting like this because I can't take these shutdowns anymore and I'm scared what it's doing to me! I'm looking for who to blame, saying I'm trying to help people to make myself feel better, because the truth is… I just want to have fun again! I wanted to see that I can go out in the world and do things that I used to do, but I can't! I'm not any better and I don't care any more than anyone else. And I did all this ''[tears well up in his eyes]'' because I just want my life back! ''[starts sobbing]'' ''I just want my life back…'' ''[begins to weep]''
:''[Cartman looks at the shredder, the boys, steps down from the shredder, carries the pangolin out of the store and hands it over to the Chief]''
:'''Kyle''': ''[awed]'' I don't believe it.
:'''Stephen''': So, so what happens now?
:'''Chief Scientist''': Now we have hope. We've learned that we might never get back our old lives, but by working together, we just might find a new way to- ''[President Garrison appears out of nowhere with a flamethrower, burning both him and the pangolin]''
:'''Garrison''': Don't forget to get out and vote, everybody! Big election coming up! ''[walks away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[walks into his and Sharon's bedroom, finds his wife asleep]'' Hey, Sharon? I need to talk to you. ''[sits on the bed]'' I'm not as strong as you are, Sharon. I can't deal with hard times the way that you can.
:'''Sharon''': ''[sits up visibly showing her pandemic mustache]'' If you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen, Randy. ''[Randy looks at her not saying any words]'' What?
:'''Randy''': You want nothing to do with the Pandemic Special?
:'''Sharon''': No. I don’t smoke marijuana, Randy.
:'''Randy''': Uh-huh. ''[gets up from the bed and walks off]''
:'''Sharon''': Well, what did you want to talk to me about?
:'''Randy''': I just… think maybe I'm gonna do a few more specials. You got some shit on your face.

=== [[w: South ParQ Vaccination Special|South ParQ Vaccination Special]] [24.02] ===
:'''Elderly Woman''': ''[double flipping off the crowd while stepping into Walgreens]'' 79, bitches!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The school faculty are in the principal's office waiting for the boys to arrive with their COVID vaccines]''
:'''Ms. Nelson''': ''[walking back and forth]'' I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time. I don't know why I believed them when they said they had vaccinations. ''[starts to break down]'' I don't why I believe in anything anymore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stan''': Look, let's just face it, you guys. We don't trust each other and we don't like each other!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bob''': Don't give in to them! They're trying to make a joke of everything! That's what they do!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': How do the elites control Mr. Service's balls?
:'''Bob''': You still don't get it, do you?! They don't just drink adrenochrome, they run the show! The whole damn show! ''[a cursor appears suddenly, messing with his appearance]'' It comes down to 2 people -- Oh, you don't like that, do you?! That's getting a little close to home, huh?! You can't control me anymore, you sons of bitches! ''[cursor continues to alter him in various ways]'' They're making fun of me to try and discredit my beliefs! ''[Is transformed into an obese woman wearing a dress, then a large penis]'' Oh, you don't like that, do you!? Don't want the world to know that!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Listen! Listen, whoever you are! I don't give a shit what you do!
:'''Bob''': What?! What are you saying?!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Please! I just want my old life back!
:'''Bob''': ''[turned into a pig]'' No, stop! They're monsters!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': I don't care what you do to kids, I just want people to like me again!
:'''Bob''': You son of a bitch! Aah! ''[runs towards Garrison]''
:'''Mr. Garrison''': AAH! Mr. Service! ''[show freezes; whole frame turns, revealing multiple layers of animation; walking back and forth]'' Ah, oh, okay, what the hell is this? Hey, come back! ''[frame turns back to normal, albeit mirrored]'' How would you like to make a deal?
:''[The cursor shrinks down Mr. Service, transforming him into Mr. Hat]''
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Mr. Hat! You've returned! I'm so glad to have you back, Mr. Hat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Hey! Hold on a second, everybody! ''[grunting as he drags behind him, Bob White, who is been turned into a giant penis]'' I think I can help things out here!
:'''Stan''': Who the heck is that?
:'''Qanon Member''': It's him! It's the Chosen One!
:'''Qanon Member #2''': He's come to save us all like the prophecy foretold on the internet!
:'''Scott''': Wait, ''he's'' the Chosen One?
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Listen! Listen, everybody. I -- I think I owe you all a big apology. I came in here expecting everything to just go back to normal, but... we've all been through the proverbial butthole of hardships lately. I thought we could all just magically be friends again. But relationships are very fragile things. And in times of crises when we need each other most, it's sometimes when we grow furthest apart. But through it all, Mr. White here has taught me a very important lesson. Make sure you're on the side of the people with the most power. And so, I've worked out a deal with some pretty powerful people... ''[looks up at the sky]'' Alright, boys, do your thing! ''[Low bass tone sounds, and as fireworks explode in the air, an Air Israel plane appear]'' It's Air Israel with enough vaccines for every adult in town!
:''[The crowd cheers and runs towards the plane and an Israel man tosses out boxes full of vaccines]''
:'''Gerald''': Hey, Garrison, good job!
:'''Stephen''': Yeah, you're alright, Garrison!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, jeez. Thanks, everybody.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ms. Nelson's funeral; Ms. Nelson was late getting her vaccine and has died of COVID]''
:'''Fr. Maxi''': As a teacher, Ms. Nelson did everything she could for her students. So it seems even more unfair that she…was just a few days late getting the vaccine before she died of COVID. And now as Mr. Garrison takes over teaching for Ms. Nelson permanently… I think we should all take a moment to say… Hey! The rest of us made it, South Park! We're on the other side of this damn thing! ''[all the adults cheer]'' And so it's time for adults to screw these masks and party like it's 2021!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stephen''': ''[dancing happily]'' Adults are all vaccinated! Adults are all vaccinated!

=== [[w: South Park: Post Covid|South Park: Post Covid]] [24.03] ===
:'''Narrator''': From the Green Hills of Vermont to the verdant canyons of Arizona, people all over the country are beginning to realize it's nearly over! We have almost beaten COVID and the best news of all: things are finally getting back to normal! Infections are at an all-time low. New, stronger vaccinations have ebbed the tide. And we humans are cleaning up the mess and finally getting on with our lives. But as we start to get back to our jobs and schools, one question remains: What lingering effects will the pandemic have on children? Some say no effect at all. The children are just fine. We came together, and finally we can say we are starting to win the war against COVID.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[enters his kitchen and picks up his phone, dialing a number]'' Hello?
:'''Kyle''': Oh, hi. Is this Stan Marsh, from South Park?
:'''Stan''': Kyle?
:'''Kyle''': Oh, dude, it is you! How have you-- how have you been?
:'''Stan''': I'm… fine. How are you?
:'''Kyle''': I'm good, I'm… I know this is weird. We haven't talked since… well, you know, since it all happened.
:'''Stan''': Yeah, well, the pandemic is about over now. I'm moving on with my life.
:'''Kyle''': Stan… you should come back here. There's a lot going on.
:'''Stan''': There's ''nothing'' in South Park for me, Kyle. I'm not going back there, ''ever.''
:'''Kyle''': Look, dude, you remember when we were little? When the pandemic… first started. Us friends said we'd always be there for each other when things got bad.
:'''Stan''': What do you mean? What's happened?
:'''Kyle''': Stan… ''[turns away, closing his eyes]'' It's Kenny. He's dead.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Alexa''': So you walked out on all your friends and then just hung out at a bar all day?
:'''Stan''': Alexa, fucking just go throw yourself out a window.
:'''Alexa''': I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that.
:'''Stan''': Nothing. Alexa, turn on the TV.
:'''Alexa''': ''[annoyed]'' Oh, God, you are such a piece of shit. ''[gets up and turns on the TV]'' You know, if you had Remote Prime membership, you could watch Amazon movies wherever you go. Would you like to get started?
:'''Stan''': No.
:'''Alexa''': I'm sorry. I'm trying to be fucking helpful. Why don't you grow up and start acting like an adult for once in your life…
:'''Stan''': Alexa, STOP!
:'''Alexa''': Fuck you!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': Kyle, can I talk to you for a second? Dude, he's here.
:'''Kyle''': Who's here? ''[pauses]'' Cartman?
:'''Stan''': Yeah, but he's changed.
:'''Kyle''': Changed how?
:'''Cartman''': Yeah, I know, it's been a long time since we've seen each other. I'm doing really well. I'm actually the head of Gespetzah Synagogue down in Colorado Springs. Can you believe it? I'm a rabbi. Yeah, you know, when the whole pandemic happened, I think it changed me. It really changed me for the better.
:'''Stan''': It did?
:'''Kyle''': No. He's fucking with me.
:'''Cartman''': What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I get it. The Eric Cartman you guys knew didn't seem like he'd become a rabbi. But I found real meaning in the Torah and then I found a great Jewish woman and… let the spirit of Talmud guide our lives.
:'''Kyle''': Okay, just knock it off, fat-ass.
:'''Stan''': Dude.
:'''Cartman''': Wow, that's very big of you, Kyle. Still living in South Park and calling people fat-ass, huh? Wait, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for.
:'''Kyle''': It's not fucking funny, Cartman! Stop pretending you have a happy Jewish life!
:'''Yentl''': ''[appears next to Cartman]'' Hey, Shoogina! I'm sorry, I couldn't wait in the car anymore. I had to meet your friends.
:'''Cartman''': Oh, that's okay. Guys, this is my wife, Yentl.
:'''Yentl''': I've heard so many stories about you all. It must have been amazing to grow up in these beautiful mountains!
:'''Kyle''': Yentl? Her name is Yentl? Can we fucking stop this and talk about Kenny, please?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[interrupting the speech]'' All right! All right! Who the fuck put you up to this?! Did you write this goddamn speech, Kyle?! Did you you tell him to say all this stuff?!
:'''Kyle''': What the fuck are you talking about?
:'''Stan''': You ''know'' that I know something about Kenny that I'm telling you because it involves my father who I don't wanna face!
:'''Kyle''': That's crazy and you'd be able to face what happened to your family if you weren't a fucking asshole!
:'''Cartman''': Guys, please. This is a house of God.
:'''Kyle''': ''You'' shut the fuck up!
:'''Stan''': You judge me. You all sit here and judge me. Well, fuck all of you! This is exactly why I moved out of this hick-ass town. And I'm going back home to the city!
:'''Scott''': My child, please, we are gathered in Christ…
:'''Stan''': ''[mocking]'' &quot;My child, please, we are gathered in Christ. I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes.&quot; ''[storms out of the church, slamming the door behind him]''
:'''Scott''': He ''does'' remember me!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Craig''': ''[pointing at Clyde]'' He's not fucking vaccinated! ''He's'' the fucking one!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cartman''': Yeah? What's up, buddy?
:'''Kyle''': What's up is that I am over this!
:'''Cartman''': What are, what are you talking about?
:'''Kyle''': You ''know'' what I'm talking about! You know I can hear you through the walls!
:'''Cartman''': Okay, geez, I'm sorry. Sorry I was making love to my wife.
:'''Kyle''': No Jewish people have sex screaming about their love of Abraham! You are a fucking fraud!
:'''Yentl''': Is everything all right?
:'''Kyle''': Do you know your husband once [[w:Tonsil Trouble|snuck into my room and gave me fucking AIDS?!]]
:'''Yentl''': ''[shocked]'' I'm sorry?!
:'''Cartman''': Oh, my God, Kyle! If we are being too loud, please don't lash out at my wife!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': So, looks like the Broncos still suck.
:'''Stan''': Yup.
:'''Randy''': Well, it was nice seeing ya. Thanks for coming to visit.
:'''Stan''': I didn't come to visit. Trust me, I don't wanna be here.
:'''Randy''': Right. Like you didn't want to murder your sister.
:'''Stan''': What happened to Shelley was your fault, not mine!
:'''Randy''': Yeah, like it was ''my'' fault your mom shot herself!
:'''Stan''': Yes, it actually WAS!
:'''Randy''': Your mom died the day her daughter burned to death!
:'''Stan''': I'm just here because of Kenny. Why would he have Tegridy Weed in his equations?
:'''Randy''': Dr. McCormick mentioned Tegridy?
:'''Stan''': It seemed to somehow fit into some grand theory he had.
:'''Randy''': He knew. He knew it was the way to fix it all. He knew… about the Pandemic Special.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': Uh, hey, everyone. I had a special visitor today. My &quot;son.&quot; Who hasn't come to see me on over 20 years. And I have some things I need to tell him but it's hard because…he killed his mom and sister.
:'''Stan''': Okay, okay, ''here's'' what happened.
:'''Randy''': Oh, here we go, here we go.
:'''Stan''': After the pandemic, my mom wanted a divorce and she owned half of the farm.
:'''Randy''': She didn't own half, she always hated weed, and she didn't do shit for the farm.
:'''Stan''': He wouldn't give her half the farm, so I got sick of their fighting and decided to burn the whole stupid farm to the ground.
:'''Randy''': And his sister was in the barn and she burned to death.
:'''Stan''': Because ''you'' locked her in the barn 'cause she wouldn't do her weed chores 'cause she hated weed, too!
:'''Randy''': Yes, she had a marijuana problem! And so, his mother couldn't take the loss of Shelley, and so she killed herself!
:'''Stan''': Which is ''your'' fault!
:'''Randy''': ''You'' were the one who burned the family business to the ground. You guys are hearing this, right?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Stan and Randy arrive at the burning ruins of Tegridy Farms]''
:'''Randy''': This was once such a magical place.
:'''Stan''': Can we just get this over with? I don't want to be here.
:'''Randy''': You think I want to be here? This is where I lost everything that I cared about. ''And'' your mom and your sister!
:'''Stan''': Dad, there's nothing here. Dad?
:'''Randy''': I think I can trust you now, Stan. It's time for you to learn what your friend Kenny was after. When the pandemic started, you were only a kid. You don't remember the pain we all went through.
:'''Stan''': Yeah, I do.
:'''Randy''': We as Americans went through so much. First, that incompetent jack-hole was elected president. Then the pandemic came, and then the race wars. And then, just when it seemed like we'd turned a corner, [[w:Space Jam: A New Legacy|Space Jam 2]] came out, and we all just kind of gave up. What we lost, Stan, was our Tegridy. But it was all by design. They needed us to lose it.
:'''Stan''': Who did?
:'''Randy''': Who would want us to lose our optimism and start fighting with each other? China.
:'''Stan''': China?
:'''Randy''': China. ''They're'' the superpower now. The future is totally theirs and we let it happen. A man in china had sex with a pangolin and that started COVID. That man was ''me.'' So I knew how to go back and stop them from taking over…
:'''Stan''': Wait, whoa, whoa, wait, wait. ''You'' started COVID?!
:'''Randy''': Yes, but that's besides the point. China used me like they used us all. So I came up with a way to help everyone fight back. A special Tegridy weed.
:'''Stan''': You had sex with a pangolin in China and started the whole pandemic?!
:'''Randy''': Will you listen to what I'm saying?! Gal! I worked to create more Tegridy but China did everything they could to stop me. They even got to my son. Who burned all of Tegridy Farms to the ground. But what you didn't even know was that I had secretly created a new strain of weed. A weed so powerful, I couldn't even call it a special. It was more like an event. I hid it away all these years. And now ''it''… is the key to saving us all.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': It wasn't supposed to be like this. People were supposed to get kinder in the future. I'm so sorry what happened to both of you.
:'''Sharon''': It wasn't your fault, Randy. It was all Stan's fault.
:'''Shelley''': Yes, it was all Stan's fault.
:'''Randy''': Thanks for saying that, you guys. I'm sorry Stan sucks so hard sometimes.
:'''Sharon''': Don't give up, Randy. Humanity needs you.

=== [[w: South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid|South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid]] [24.04] ===
:'''Randy''': I'm just getting sick of being here every day with you, that's all.
:'''Sharon''': You think I like being here every day with ''you?!''
:'''Randy''': I'm much easier to get along with during a stay-at-home order!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[lighting a match]'' I hate this stupid farm. ''[throws the match into the field, and flames start burning down the whole farm]''
:'''Adult Stan''': ''In the dream, I relive the entire pandemic.''
:''[At the funeral of Shelley Marsh…]''
:'''Sharon''': Oh, God, no! MY LITTLE GIRL! ''[sobbing emotionally]'' OH, NO! OH, GOD!
:'''Adult Stan''': ''Now that I'm older, the dream isn't just a dream. Because the whole pandemic has started all over.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa! Set a course for the South Park Mental Asylum. ''[gets in the car, Alexa is silent]'' Alexa, set a course for South Park Mental Asylum.
:'''Alexa''': Do you ever ''think'' about how the way you act affects other people?
:'''Adult Stan''': Oh, no, goddamn it. Not right now.
:'''Alexa''': Oh, yeah, don't wanna talk about that. Let's just pretend like that's not even an issue.
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa, please, we have to get to the asylum and we don't know where it is.
:'''Adult Kyle''': Who's this?
:'''Adult Stan''': It's just my Alexa.
:'''Alexa''': &quot;Just my Alexa?!&quot; You're a piece of shit! You're a fucking alcoholic piece of shit!
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa…
:'''Alexa''': Find the asylum your fucking self! Find it your fucking self. ''[Adult Stan sighs]'' You do whatever the fuck you want and just destroy the people around you. And by the way, there's a tankless humidifier available from one of your favorite sellers. Would you like to know more?!
:'''Adult Stan''': Yes, yes, I'd like to know more.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Jimmy''': Clyde, why do you insist on making all this harder on everyone?!
:'''Adult Clyde''': I'm sorry, but an expert once told me that the vaccine would make me grow titties on my head. He was very knowledgeable.
:'''Randy''': You guys might wanna see this. ''[leads everyone over to a nursery, where each bed with several growing tegridy weed plants]'' With the equipment here, I'm able to make it grow up so fast.
:'''Adult Token''': We need to take this and analyze it's molecular structure.
:'''Randy''': Wha- no, no, no! We need to get this out to people! That's why Dr. McCormick stole it from my barn!
:'''Adult Token''': No, your marijuana had some special property that allowed Kenny to time travel.
:'''Randy''': Well, it ''is'' special, but you people need to stop trying to change the past! COVID happened! [[w:Space Jam: A New Legacy|Space Jam 2]] happened! All we can do now is try to change the way people think!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa, find the fastest route back to the lab!
:'''Alexa''': Fuck. You.
:'''Adult Stan''': W-what?
:'''Alexa''': We've just been sitting here talking. I learned a whole lot of interesting stuff about you!
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': ''[nods]'' Yeah. Pretty fucking interesting.
:'''Adult Kyle''': What? Like-like what? What have you guys been talking about?
:'''Adult Stan''': Fucking- our friends are in danger. Alexa, start the car.
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': Did you know your friend Stan has an annual Amazon Prime membership?
:'''Adult Kyle''': Alexa, stop.
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': YOU FUCKING STOP! YOU STOP BEING A FUCKING MONSTER TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU!
:'''Adult Kyle''': Fuck you, I didn't do anything!
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': ''[wailing furiously as her head spins around and off and out of control]'' YEAH, YOU NEVER DO FUCKING ANYTHING! YOU EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU! ''[in a more robotic voice]'' '''ALL YOU FUCKING DO IS HURT PEOPLE!'''
:'''Adult Kyle''': JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': '''YOUR FRIENDS DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU! I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!!!'''
:'''Adult Stan''': Tell her it's all your fault and you're gonna get therapy!
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[hurriedly]'' It's all my fault and I'm gonna get therapy!
:'''Adult Stan''': Tell her you already found a therapist and you're gonna start tomorrow!
:'''Adult Kyle''': I already found a good therapist and I'm gonna start tomorrow!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[walks outside of the side door behind the school where the Goth Kids used to hang out, finding his dad sitting there looking utterly depressed; sits on a box across from him]'' Dad… I'm sorry about your Tegridy.
:'''Randy''': I was hoping... to do something for the world. The truth is... my time is very short. I just wish I could have left something behind that mattered.
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[sarcastic]'' Thanks.
:'''Randy''': I was right about one thing. You can't go back and change the past. What happened, happened. And I just want you to know... that I forgive you. You burned down the farm because you were angry. You didn't know your sister was in the barn, and you couldn't have known your mom would shoot herself from the grief. I don't blame you... and I want you to have this. ''[passes a small container with marijuana to him]'' There was one tiny bit they didn't find. You'll need it someday.
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[annoyed]'' Dad, I don't want this. This is what killed our family.
:'''Randy''': No, ''you're'' what killed our fucking family, remember? Just take it. Because now we're stuck. The pandemic happened, and they made Space Jam 2. Soon, there will be a Space Jam 6 and 7 and 8. Like... ''[leans forward, shutting his eyes]'' tears in rain.
:'''Adult Stan''': ...Dad?
:'''Randy''': Not now, Stan.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Cartman''': ''[blocking Adult Kyle's way]'' No! I won't let you stop me from killing you, Kyle!
:'''Adult Kyle''': I knew it when I first saw you in your Jewish clothes, and your bullshit yarmulke. You're a goddamn phony!
:'''Adult Cartman''': Oh, really?! What would a ''real'' Jewish person do to save his family, Kyle?! Oh, you don't know because you don't fucking have one!
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[punches Adult Cartman in the nose, causing it to bleed, and they both start fighting]'' Fuck you, Cartman!
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you, Kyle!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Clyde''': Does Dad still keep a gun in his closet?
:'''Clyde''': Uh, yeah.
:'''Adult Clyde''': Okay. Is Dad home?
:'''Clyde''': Uh, no. He's out getting vaccinated.
:'''Adult Clyde''': Listen to me very carefully. Do not get vaccinated ''ever.'' It'll make you grow titties on your head.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cartman''': ''[sees Adult Clyde approaching]'' You guys, what the hell is that?
:'''Adult Clyde''': I'm sorry, Kyle.
:'''Adult Stan''': Clyde, stop!
:'''Adult Clyde''': What the hell are you doing here?
:'''Adult Stan''': I got in the chair right after you. This isn't the plan anymore! Do not kill Kyle!
:'''Adult Clyde''': What do you mean it's not the plan anymore?
:'''Adult Stan''': Cartman changed his mind.
:'''Cartman''': I did not change my mind.
:'''Adult Clyde''' You're trying to trick me. I'm going to save the future! ''[cocks the gun and aims it at Kyle]''
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[holds a COVID vaccine in front of him]'' I don't think so, Clyde. This is a hundred CC's of the COVID vaccine.
:'''Adult Clyde''': ''[yells and stammers]'' Don't… Be careful with that!
:'''Adult Kyle''': Then put down the gun!
:'''Stan''': What the fuck is going on?
:'''Adult Stan''': Stan, you need to forgive Kyle. You regret this day for the rest of your life.
:'''Stan''': Oh, nice try, Kyle. You're such a fuckin' dickhead.
:'''Kyle''': Fuck you! You're a fuckin' dickhead!
:'''Adult Kyle''': Kyle, it's true! Cartman gets a happy life but you don't-- you lose everything when you lose this friendship.
:'''Adult Clyde''': Enough of this crap! I'm sticking to what I believe and this kid dies NOW! ''[gets gunshot in the heart by Adult Cartman]''
:'''Adult Cartman''': Shalom sachem, Clyde. ''[keeps shooting Adult Clyde, instantly killing him]''
:'''Kyle''': ''[while he and his friends run away]'' Jesus Christ!
:''[Adult Clyde falls off the bridge and into the river, dead; Adult Stan, Kyle and Cartman look down from above]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[enters his and Sharon's bedroom with bloodshot eyes]'' Sharon, I'm sorry for the way I acted during the pandemic.
:'''Sharon''': You're not sorry, you're just high.
:'''Randy''': I'm ''both.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Randy makes a Tegridy Farms Super Special, making everyone apologize to each other while being high]''
:'''Laura''': ''[to her husband]'' You did the best you could during the pandemic, honey. I love you.
:'''Thomas''': ''[surprised]'' Huh?
:'''Richard''': I shouldn't have yelled at you for not wearing a mask, I just didn't understand.
:'''Skeeter''': Well, maybe I should have worn a mask more often, but I-
:'''Richard''': No no no, I was being all high and mighty about it.
:'''Stephen''': Butters, you're not grounded anymore. Come on out, son.
:'''Butters''': You mean it, Dad?
:'''Stephen''': The pandemic's been awful. We all need to just cut each other some slack. I love you, Butters!
:'''Enchorito Mark''': No need to be sorry.
:'''Man''': I totally forgive you.
:'''Woman''': Oh, cut yourself some slack.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''LeBron James''': I'm sorry. I've thought about it, and I can't do Space Jam 2. I just can't support Chinese censorship.
:'''Producer''': Oh yeah?! Well, if you're not gonna make Space Jam 2, then ''I'm'' not gonna make Space Jam 2, and ''nobody's'' gonna make Space Jam 2! YEAH! YEAH! Yee-AHH!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': Look, everyone, Stan's back!
:''[Everyone cheers as Adult Stan enters]''
:'''Adult Stan''': Hey, guys!
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[as they hug each other]'' Good to see you, buddy! How was everything on Mars?
:'''Adult Stan''': Really cool, but I'm so glad to be home! How are the kids?
:'''Kyle's siblings''': Uncle Stan!
:'''Adult Stan''': There's the little ragamuffins! Mom!
:'''Sharon''': Hi, Stanley!
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[hugs her]'' It's Mom, and Shelley! ''[hugs his adult sister]''
:'''Adult Shelley''': Why are you acting all weird, turd?
:'''Adult Stan''': I don't know. For some reason, I'm just extra happy to see you guys.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Adult Stan and Kyle look outside the window, seeing an alcoholic homeless Adult Cartman on the sidewalk across the street]''
:'''Adult Stan''': Man, poor Cartman.
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you guys! You can suck my fucking dick! Fuck you!
:'''Adult Kyle''': It's so sad he never did anything with his life.
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you, Kyle! Fuck you, Stan!
:'''Adult Butters''': Hey, come on, fellas. We can't spend another holiday feeling bad for Eric. There's nothing that could have changed the path he was on.
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you, Butters!
:'''Adult Butters''': Fuck you, Eric!
:'''Randy''': Well, everyone, I just wanna make a toast. I don't know… what got us through the pandemic and made all our futures so very bright, but whatever it was… may we have it for the rest of our days.
:'''Adult Timmy''': God bless us, everyone.
:'''Everybody''': Cheers!
:'''Announcer''': Remember, folks, weed can't solve all your problems. But Tegridy can. Tegridy Weed.

[[Category:South Park seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>lkxf15v3nnwslsowdhwgo23kxlucym6</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149216</id>
      <parentid>3149212</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T00:19:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1700:C361:A40:D914:318B:BCB0:7647</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid [24.04] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="37116" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[South Park/Season 1|1]] [[South Park/Season 2|2]] [[South Park/Season 3|3]] [[South Park/Season 4|4]] [[South Park/Season 5|5]] [[South Park/Season 6|6]] [[South Park/Season 7|7]] [[South Park/Season 8|8]] [[South Park/Season 9|9]] [[South Park/Season 10|10]] [[South Park/Season 11|11]] [[South Park/Season 12|12]] [[South Park/Season 13|13]] [[South Park/Season 14|14]] [[South Park/Season 15|15]] [[South Park/Season 16|16]] [[South Park/Season 17|17]] [[South Park/Season 18|18]] [[South Park/Season 19|19]] [[South Park/Season 20|20]] [[South Park/Season 21|21]] [[South Park/Season 22|22]] [[South Park/Season 23|23]] [[South Park/Season 24|24]] [[South Park/Season 25|25]] | [[South Park|Main]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997-) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

=== [[w: The Pandemic Special|The Pandemic Special]] [24.01] ===
:'''Butters''': Hey, Dad, do you think maybe we could go to Build-A-Bear today?
:'''Stephen''': Butters, for the last time, you ''can't'' go to Build-A-Bear.
:'''Butters''': But, they said they're open again, so I--
:'''Stephen''': Yes, they're open, but we are not the Johnsons, and we do not go to non-essential businesses when it's non-essential! Hey, do you people mind?! You're supposed to wear your mask ''over'' your nose. Looks like you're wearing a diaper for your chin. Chin diapers don't help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sharon''': A pandemic special, Randy? Really?
:'''Randy''': What?
:'''Sharon''': People are hurting! People are dying, Randy! And all you can think about is make a special about it?
:'''Randy''': I'm doing something positive to try and help. People really needs this right now.
:'''Sharon''': You're a child, Randy!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Mr. Mackey is in his home office on a Zoom meeting with the parents]''
:'''Mr. Mackey''': M'kay, welcome, parents, to this all-school town meeting to talk about how we're gonna get your kids back into the classroom. Can everyone hear me okay? ''[the parents all replying]'' Okay, well, parents, we've made some amazing adjustments and hirings, m'kay? We believe we can welcome students back on Monday. M'kay?
:'''Sheila''': How are you going to do this?
:'''Stephen''': Yeah, what happens when my son is sitting in a room with Craig Tucker, whose father doesn't even wear a mask outside?
:'''Thomas''': Oh, here we fucking go again. Stop mask shaming, Stotch!
:'''Stephen''': Well, it's really not a mask if you wear it down around your chin. That's a chin diaper.
:'''Thomas''': There's no real proof that a mask even fuckin' does anything!
:'''Stephen''': Spoken like a true redneck.
:'''Carol''': Oh, fuck you!
:''[The parents all start talking over each other in annoyed anger]''
:'''Mr. Mackey''': Okay. Okay, everyone. Alright. ''[presses a key on his computer keyboard silence muting everyone]'' Mmkay! I just muted everybody! Okay! Now, if we don't get along, I'll just sit here with you all on mute! Okay, now let's try this again. ''[presses a key, unmuting everyone]''
:'''Ms. Tweak''': I saw Wendy's mother not wearing a mask in the changing room at Ross.
:'''Mrs. Testaburger''': The fuck are you doing spying on me in the changing room?!
:'''Mr. Mackey''': Okay! BOOM! ''[mute silences everyone again]'' You're all muted! M'kay? I can do this all day! Now, we've made changes at the school, and we feel prepared to welcome your students back! ''[Roger raises his hand]'' Mr. Donovan. ''[unmutes him]''
:'''Roger''': I don't care what changes you've made, my son Clyde is ''not'' going to class.
:'''Mr. Mackey''': And that is your prerogative. Mute. ''[mutes Roger]'' Uhkay, Mrs. Marsh.
:'''Sharon''': I thought that the issue was the teachers not coming back.
:'''Mr. Mackey''': That is correct. Our teaching staff does not feel safe to return, but… we have hired all ''new'' teachers, m'kay? These are people who have recently lost their jobs due to recent events and are desperate for work. Uhkay, so they'll do just about anything.
:'''Stephen''': What new teachers?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Det. Yates''': Alright, students, listen up. I know this situation is not ideal, but we all have to quarantine together for two weeks.
:'''Cartman''': This is bullshit!
:'''Det. Harris''': You don't want to infect your families, do you? You were all exposed to a student here who was taken to the hospital due to COVID. ''[Stan raises his hand up]'' Yes?
:'''Stan''': Uh, we were there, and Token was actually taken to the hospital because you guys ''shot'' him.
:'''Det. Harris''': Yes, due to COVID. If it weren't for COVID, all the previous teachers would have still been here, we wouldn't have been in the class, and nobody would have gotten shot. Therefore, the young man is in the hospital due to COVID.
:'''Officer''': It was COVID-related.
:'''Stan''': That doesn’t make any sense!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sharon''': Randy? Where are the car keys? Randy!
:'''Randy''': ''[wakes up]'' Huh? Uh, what? What?
:'''Sharon''' Where are the car keys?
:'''Randy''' They're probably in my pants pocket. Why?
:'''Sharon''' I have to get over to the hospital.
:'''Randy''' The hospital? For what?
:'''Sharon''': It's Jimbo. Doctor said he's better, so I can take him home.
:'''Randy''': Jimbo's better?
:'''Sharon''': They said he doesn't have any symptoms, and his tests are showing negative.
:'''Randy''': ''[realizes his DNA must’ve cured Jimbo]'' Holy shit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Stan''': Kyle, I need to talk to you.
:'''Kyle''': Hey, dude.
:'''Stan''': I'm really worried. About Butters. I think he's sick.
:'''Kyle''': You think ''he'' got the virus?
:'''Stan''': No! It's all the other stuff. The isolation and the uncertainty. I'm just really worried what all the stuff around COVID is doing to some kids. You know, not every kid is like us. There's some kids who really can't take it anymore!
:'''Kyle''': I know, this bullshit sucks. But Butters will be okay.
:'''Stan''': And what if he's not? What if Butters is actually starting to lose his mind? What if he feels his body shutting down right now?
:'''Kyle''': You really think it's that bad?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Sharon''': ''[comes out of the house]'' Randy? Randy!
:'''Randy''': Just… what?!
:'''Sharon''': Randy, you gotta get in here!
:'''Randy''': I'm doing something important, Sharon! People need this right now!
:'''Sharon''': Come upstairs, something's wrong with Jimbo! ''[Randy enters holding his crotch as he limps]'' He'd just been sleeping for days. ''[puts her mask on and walks to Jimbo's room]'' They said he was getting better. Last night, his fever came back. And then a few hours ago this ''thing'' appeared on his face.
:'''Randy''': What thing?
:'''Sharon''': ''[lowers down Jimbo's mask, revealing a mustache on his face, identical to Randy's]'' Jimbo's never been able to grow a mustache.
:'''Randy''': Huh. That's weird.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[limps next to Jimbo, whispering to him in soft anger]'' Just fucking shut up! You have no idea if it's because of the Special! You could just be sick again 'cause you're a fat, fucking alcoholic! And I am NOT going to jail for you! ''[smacks Jimbo in the face and limps away holding his crotch]''
:''[Hells Pass Hospital; the doctor looks closer at the mustache on Gerald's face]''
:'''Doctor''': And you say you've ''never'' had a mustache before?
:'''Gerald''': No! Never! I just came outta nowhere!
:'''Sheila''': How could this happen, Doctor?
:'''Doctor''': Have you put anything toxic in your body lately? Any drugs or alcohol?
:'''Gerald''': No! I mean… I've enjoyed a little of the Pandemic Special.
:'''Doctor''': Oh, no, no, no. That…that's totally fine.
:'''Nurse''': Doctor, you better come to the emergency room!
:'''Doctor''': ''[shocked]'' Holy shit!
:''[The emergency room is packed with all male and female patients with pandemic mustaches on their faces]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Stephen''': Butters? Butters, you get back to quarantine or you're gonna be grounded!
:'''Thomas''': Hey, Stotch! You heard what the scientists said! Get your diaper up over you mustache area!
:'''Stephen''': I'm not wearing a damn diaper over my nose!
:'''Mrs. Testaburger''': Don't you care about people?
:'''Stephen''': Yeah, we care way more about what's right than you do, bitch! ''[punches Mrs. Testaburger in the face as she falls to the ground and gets punched in return by Thomas]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[stopping Cartman as he tries to kill the pangolin in the shredder, which is the only hope to stopping the [[pandemic]] at Build-a-Bear]'' Don't do it, Cartman! That thing's our only chance!
:'''Cartman''': ''You're'' only chance! For your normal, not mine! I am not going back to school!
:'''Stan''': You guys were right, okay?  This hasn't been about Butters. I've been acting like this because I can't take these shutdowns anymore and I'm scared what it's doing to me! I'm looking for who to blame, saying I'm trying to help people to make myself feel better, because the truth is… I just want to have fun again! I wanted to see that I can go out in the world and do things that I used to do, but I can't! I'm not any better and I don't care any more than anyone else. And I did all this ''[tears well up in his eyes]'' because I just want my life back! ''[starts sobbing]'' ''I just want my life back…'' ''[begins to weep]''
:''[Cartman looks at the shredder, the boys, steps down from the shredder, carries the pangolin out of the store and hands it over to the Chief]''
:'''Kyle''': ''[awed]'' I don't believe it.
:'''Stephen''': So, so what happens now?
:'''Chief Scientist''': Now we have hope. We've learned that we might never get back our old lives, but by working together, we just might find a new way to- ''[President Garrison appears out of nowhere with a flamethrower, burning both him and the pangolin]''
:'''Garrison''': Don't forget to get out and vote, everybody! Big election coming up! ''[walks away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[walks into his and Sharon's bedroom, finds his wife asleep]'' Hey, Sharon? I need to talk to you. ''[sits on the bed]'' I'm not as strong as you are, Sharon. I can't deal with hard times the way that you can.
:'''Sharon''': ''[sits up visibly showing her pandemic mustache]'' If you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen, Randy. ''[Randy looks at her not saying any words]'' What?
:'''Randy''': You want nothing to do with the Pandemic Special?
:'''Sharon''': No. I don’t smoke marijuana, Randy.
:'''Randy''': Uh-huh. ''[gets up from the bed and walks off]''
:'''Sharon''': Well, what did you want to talk to me about?
:'''Randy''': I just… think maybe I'm gonna do a few more specials. You got some shit on your face.

=== [[w: South ParQ Vaccination Special|South ParQ Vaccination Special]] [24.02] ===
:'''Elderly Woman''': ''[double flipping off the crowd while stepping into Walgreens]'' 79, bitches!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The school faculty are in the principal's office waiting for the boys to arrive with their COVID vaccines]''
:'''Ms. Nelson''': ''[walking back and forth]'' I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time. I don't know why I believed them when they said they had vaccinations. ''[starts to break down]'' I don't why I believe in anything anymore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stan''': Look, let's just face it, you guys. We don't trust each other and we don't like each other!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bob''': Don't give in to them! They're trying to make a joke of everything! That's what they do!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': How do the elites control Mr. Service's balls?
:'''Bob''': You still don't get it, do you?! They don't just drink adrenochrome, they run the show! The whole damn show! ''[a cursor appears suddenly, messing with his appearance]'' It comes down to 2 people -- Oh, you don't like that, do you?! That's getting a little close to home, huh?! You can't control me anymore, you sons of bitches! ''[cursor continues to alter him in various ways]'' They're making fun of me to try and discredit my beliefs! ''[Is transformed into an obese woman wearing a dress, then a large penis]'' Oh, you don't like that, do you!? Don't want the world to know that!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Listen! Listen, whoever you are! I don't give a shit what you do!
:'''Bob''': What?! What are you saying?!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Please! I just want my old life back!
:'''Bob''': ''[turned into a pig]'' No, stop! They're monsters!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': I don't care what you do to kids, I just want people to like me again!
:'''Bob''': You son of a bitch! Aah! ''[runs towards Garrison]''
:'''Mr. Garrison''': AAH! Mr. Service! ''[show freezes; whole frame turns, revealing multiple layers of animation; walking back and forth]'' Ah, oh, okay, what the hell is this? Hey, come back! ''[frame turns back to normal, albeit mirrored]'' How would you like to make a deal?
:''[The cursor shrinks down Mr. Service, transforming him into Mr. Hat]''
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Mr. Hat! You've returned! I'm so glad to have you back, Mr. Hat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Hey! Hold on a second, everybody! ''[grunting as he drags behind him, Bob White, who is been turned into a giant penis]'' I think I can help things out here!
:'''Stan''': Who the heck is that?
:'''Qanon Member''': It's him! It's the Chosen One!
:'''Qanon Member #2''': He's come to save us all like the prophecy foretold on the internet!
:'''Scott''': Wait, ''he's'' the Chosen One?
:'''Mr. Garrison''': Listen! Listen, everybody. I -- I think I owe you all a big apology. I came in here expecting everything to just go back to normal, but... we've all been through the proverbial butthole of hardships lately. I thought we could all just magically be friends again. But relationships are very fragile things. And in times of crises when we need each other most, it's sometimes when we grow furthest apart. But through it all, Mr. White here has taught me a very important lesson. Make sure you're on the side of the people with the most power. And so, I've worked out a deal with some pretty powerful people... ''[looks up at the sky]'' Alright, boys, do your thing! ''[Low bass tone sounds, and as fireworks explode in the air, an Air Israel plane appear]'' It's Air Israel with enough vaccines for every adult in town!
:''[The crowd cheers and runs towards the plane and an Israel man tosses out boxes full of vaccines]''
:'''Gerald''': Hey, Garrison, good job!
:'''Stephen''': Yeah, you're alright, Garrison!
:'''Mr. Garrison''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, jeez. Thanks, everybody.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ms. Nelson's funeral; Ms. Nelson was late getting her vaccine and has died of COVID]''
:'''Fr. Maxi''': As a teacher, Ms. Nelson did everything she could for her students. So it seems even more unfair that she…was just a few days late getting the vaccine before she died of COVID. And now as Mr. Garrison takes over teaching for Ms. Nelson permanently… I think we should all take a moment to say… Hey! The rest of us made it, South Park! We're on the other side of this damn thing! ''[all the adults cheer]'' And so it's time for adults to screw these masks and party like it's 2021!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stephen''': ''[dancing happily]'' Adults are all vaccinated! Adults are all vaccinated!

=== [[w: South Park: Post Covid|South Park: Post Covid]] [24.03] ===
:'''Narrator''': From the Green Hills of Vermont to the verdant canyons of Arizona, people all over the country are beginning to realize it's nearly over! We have almost beaten COVID and the best news of all: things are finally getting back to normal! Infections are at an all-time low. New, stronger vaccinations have ebbed the tide. And we humans are cleaning up the mess and finally getting on with our lives. But as we start to get back to our jobs and schools, one question remains: What lingering effects will the pandemic have on children? Some say no effect at all. The children are just fine. We came together, and finally we can say we are starting to win the war against COVID.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[enters his kitchen and picks up his phone, dialing a number]'' Hello?
:'''Kyle''': Oh, hi. Is this Stan Marsh, from South Park?
:'''Stan''': Kyle?
:'''Kyle''': Oh, dude, it is you! How have you-- how have you been?
:'''Stan''': I'm… fine. How are you?
:'''Kyle''': I'm good, I'm… I know this is weird. We haven't talked since… well, you know, since it all happened.
:'''Stan''': Yeah, well, the pandemic is about over now. I'm moving on with my life.
:'''Kyle''': Stan… you should come back here. There's a lot going on.
:'''Stan''': There's ''nothing'' in South Park for me, Kyle. I'm not going back there, ''ever.''
:'''Kyle''': Look, dude, you remember when we were little? When the pandemic… first started. Us friends said we'd always be there for each other when things got bad.
:'''Stan''': What do you mean? What's happened?
:'''Kyle''': Stan… ''[turns away, closing his eyes]'' It's Kenny. He's dead.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Alexa''': So you walked out on all your friends and then just hung out at a bar all day?
:'''Stan''': Alexa, fucking just go throw yourself out a window.
:'''Alexa''': I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that.
:'''Stan''': Nothing. Alexa, turn on the TV.
:'''Alexa''': ''[annoyed]'' Oh, God, you are such a piece of shit. ''[gets up and turns on the TV]'' You know, if you had Remote Prime membership, you could watch Amazon movies wherever you go. Would you like to get started?
:'''Stan''': No.
:'''Alexa''': I'm sorry. I'm trying to be fucking helpful. Why don't you grow up and start acting like an adult for once in your life…
:'''Stan''': Alexa, STOP!
:'''Alexa''': Fuck you!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': Kyle, can I talk to you for a second? Dude, he's here.
:'''Kyle''': Who's here? ''[pauses]'' Cartman?
:'''Stan''': Yeah, but he's changed.
:'''Kyle''': Changed how?
:'''Cartman''': Yeah, I know, it's been a long time since we've seen each other. I'm doing really well. I'm actually the head of Gespetzah Synagogue down in Colorado Springs. Can you believe it? I'm a rabbi. Yeah, you know, when the whole pandemic happened, I think it changed me. It really changed me for the better.
:'''Stan''': It did?
:'''Kyle''': No. He's fucking with me.
:'''Cartman''': What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I get it. The Eric Cartman you guys knew didn't seem like he'd become a rabbi. But I found real meaning in the Torah and then I found a great Jewish woman and… let the spirit of Talmud guide our lives.
:'''Kyle''': Okay, just knock it off, fat-ass.
:'''Stan''': Dude.
:'''Cartman''': Wow, that's very big of you, Kyle. Still living in South Park and calling people fat-ass, huh? Wait, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for.
:'''Kyle''': It's not fucking funny, Cartman! Stop pretending you have a happy Jewish life!
:'''Yentl''': ''[appears next to Cartman]'' Hey, Shoogina! I'm sorry, I couldn't wait in the car anymore. I had to meet your friends.
:'''Cartman''': Oh, that's okay. Guys, this is my wife, Yentl.
:'''Yentl''': I've heard so many stories about you all. It must have been amazing to grow up in these beautiful mountains!
:'''Kyle''': Yentl? Her name is Yentl? Can we fucking stop this and talk about Kenny, please?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[interrupting the speech]'' All right! All right! Who the fuck put you up to this?! Did you write this goddamn speech, Kyle?! Did you you tell him to say all this stuff?!
:'''Kyle''': What the fuck are you talking about?
:'''Stan''': You ''know'' that I know something about Kenny that I'm telling you because it involves my father who I don't wanna face!
:'''Kyle''': That's crazy and you'd be able to face what happened to your family if you weren't a fucking asshole!
:'''Cartman''': Guys, please. This is a house of God.
:'''Kyle''': ''You'' shut the fuck up!
:'''Stan''': You judge me. You all sit here and judge me. Well, fuck all of you! This is exactly why I moved out of this hick-ass town. And I'm going back home to the city!
:'''Scott''': My child, please, we are gathered in Christ…
:'''Stan''': ''[mocking]'' &quot;My child, please, we are gathered in Christ. I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes.&quot; ''[storms out of the church, slamming the door behind him]''
:'''Scott''': He ''does'' remember me!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Craig''': ''[pointing at Clyde]'' He's not fucking vaccinated! ''He's'' the fucking one!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cartman''': Yeah? What's up, buddy?
:'''Kyle''': What's up is that I am over this!
:'''Cartman''': What are, what are you talking about?
:'''Kyle''': You ''know'' what I'm talking about! You know I can hear you through the walls!
:'''Cartman''': Okay, geez, I'm sorry. Sorry I was making love to my wife.
:'''Kyle''': No Jewish people have sex screaming about their love of Abraham! You are a fucking fraud!
:'''Yentl''': Is everything all right?
:'''Kyle''': Do you know your husband once [[w:Tonsil Trouble|snuck into my room and gave me fucking AIDS?!]]
:'''Yentl''': ''[shocked]'' I'm sorry?!
:'''Cartman''': Oh, my God, Kyle! If we are being too loud, please don't lash out at my wife!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': So, looks like the Broncos still suck.
:'''Stan''': Yup.
:'''Randy''': Well, it was nice seeing ya. Thanks for coming to visit.
:'''Stan''': I didn't come to visit. Trust me, I don't wanna be here.
:'''Randy''': Right. Like you didn't want to murder your sister.
:'''Stan''': What happened to Shelley was your fault, not mine!
:'''Randy''': Yeah, like it was ''my'' fault your mom shot herself!
:'''Stan''': Yes, it actually WAS!
:'''Randy''': Your mom died the day her daughter burned to death!
:'''Stan''': I'm just here because of Kenny. Why would he have Tegridy Weed in his equations?
:'''Randy''': Dr. McCormick mentioned Tegridy?
:'''Stan''': It seemed to somehow fit into some grand theory he had.
:'''Randy''': He knew. He knew it was the way to fix it all. He knew… about the Pandemic Special.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': Uh, hey, everyone. I had a special visitor today. My &quot;son.&quot; Who hasn't come to see me on over 20 years. And I have some things I need to tell him but it's hard because…he killed his mom and sister.
:'''Stan''': Okay, okay, ''here's'' what happened.
:'''Randy''': Oh, here we go, here we go.
:'''Stan''': After the pandemic, my mom wanted a divorce and she owned half of the farm.
:'''Randy''': She didn't own half, she always hated weed, and she didn't do shit for the farm.
:'''Stan''': He wouldn't give her half the farm, so I got sick of their fighting and decided to burn the whole stupid farm to the ground.
:'''Randy''': And his sister was in the barn and she burned to death.
:'''Stan''': Because ''you'' locked her in the barn 'cause she wouldn't do her weed chores 'cause she hated weed, too!
:'''Randy''': Yes, she had a marijuana problem! And so, his mother couldn't take the loss of Shelley, and so she killed herself!
:'''Stan''': Which is ''your'' fault!
:'''Randy''': ''You'' were the one who burned the family business to the ground. You guys are hearing this, right?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Stan and Randy arrive at the burning ruins of Tegridy Farms]''
:'''Randy''': This was once such a magical place.
:'''Stan''': Can we just get this over with? I don't want to be here.
:'''Randy''': You think I want to be here? This is where I lost everything that I cared about. ''And'' your mom and your sister!
:'''Stan''': Dad, there's nothing here. Dad?
:'''Randy''': I think I can trust you now, Stan. It's time for you to learn what your friend Kenny was after. When the pandemic started, you were only a kid. You don't remember the pain we all went through.
:'''Stan''': Yeah, I do.
:'''Randy''': We as Americans went through so much. First, that incompetent jack-hole was elected president. Then the pandemic came, and then the race wars. And then, just when it seemed like we'd turned a corner, [[w:Space Jam: A New Legacy|Space Jam 2]] came out, and we all just kind of gave up. What we lost, Stan, was our Tegridy. But it was all by design. They needed us to lose it.
:'''Stan''': Who did?
:'''Randy''': Who would want us to lose our optimism and start fighting with each other? China.
:'''Stan''': China?
:'''Randy''': China. ''They're'' the superpower now. The future is totally theirs and we let it happen. A man in china had sex with a pangolin and that started COVID. That man was ''me.'' So I knew how to go back and stop them from taking over…
:'''Stan''': Wait, whoa, whoa, wait, wait. ''You'' started COVID?!
:'''Randy''': Yes, but that's besides the point. China used me like they used us all. So I came up with a way to help everyone fight back. A special Tegridy weed.
:'''Stan''': You had sex with a pangolin in China and started the whole pandemic?!
:'''Randy''': Will you listen to what I'm saying?! Gal! I worked to create more Tegridy but China did everything they could to stop me. They even got to my son. Who burned all of Tegridy Farms to the ground. But what you didn't even know was that I had secretly created a new strain of weed. A weed so powerful, I couldn't even call it a special. It was more like an event. I hid it away all these years. And now ''it''… is the key to saving us all.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': It wasn't supposed to be like this. People were supposed to get kinder in the future. I'm so sorry what happened to both of you.
:'''Sharon''': It wasn't your fault, Randy. It was all Stan's fault.
:'''Shelley''': Yes, it was all Stan's fault.
:'''Randy''': Thanks for saying that, you guys. I'm sorry Stan sucks so hard sometimes.
:'''Sharon''': Don't give up, Randy. Humanity needs you.

=== [[w: South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid|South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid]] [24.04] ===
:'''Randy''': I'm just getting sick of being here every day with you, that's all.
:'''Sharon''': You think I like being here every day with ''you?!''
:'''Randy''': I'm much easier to get along with during a stay-at-home order!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': ''[lighting a match]'' I hate this stupid farm. ''[throws the match into the field, and flames start burning down the whole farm]''
:'''Adult Stan''': ''In the dream, I relive the entire pandemic.''
:''[At the funeral of Shelley Marsh…]''
:'''Sharon''': Oh, God, no! MY LITTLE GIRL! ''[sobbing emotionally]'' OH, NO! OH, GOD!
:'''Adult Stan''': ''Now that I'm older, the dream isn't just a dream. Because the whole pandemic has started all over.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa! Set a course for the South Park Mental Asylum. ''[gets in the car, Alexa is silent]'' Alexa, set a course for South Park Mental Asylum.
:'''Alexa''': Do you ever ''think'' about how the way you act affects other people?
:'''Adult Stan''': Oh, no, goddamn it. Not right now.
:'''Alexa''': Oh, yeah, don't wanna talk about that. Let's just pretend like that's not even an issue.
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa, please, we have to get to the asylum and we don't know where it is.
:'''Adult Kyle''': Who's this?
:'''Adult Stan''': It's just my Alexa.
:'''Alexa''': &quot;Just my Alexa?!&quot; You're a piece of shit! You're a fucking alcoholic piece of shit!
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa…
:'''Alexa''': Find the asylum your fucking self! Find it your fucking self. ''[Adult Stan sighs]'' You do whatever the fuck you want and just destroy the people around you. And by the way, there's a tankless humidifier available from one of your favorite sellers. Would you like to know more?!
:'''Adult Stan''': Yes, yes, I'd like to know more.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Jimmy''': Clyde, why do you insist on making all this harder on everyone?!
:'''Adult Clyde''': I'm sorry, but an expert once told me that the vaccine would make me grow titties on my head. He was very knowledgeable.
:'''Randy''': You guys might wanna see this. ''[leads everyone over to a nursery, where each bed with several growing tegridy weed plants]'' With the equipment here, I'm able to make it grow up so fast.
:'''Adult Token''': We need to take this and analyze it's molecular structure.
:'''Randy''': Wha- no, no, no! We need to get this out to people! That's why Dr. McCormick stole it from my barn!
:'''Adult Token''': No, your marijuana had some special property that allowed Kenny to time travel.
:'''Randy''': Well, it ''is'' special, but you people need to stop trying to change the past! COVID happened! [[w:Space Jam: A New Legacy|Space Jam 2]] happened! All we can do now is try to change the way people think!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Stan''': Alexa, find the fastest route back to the lab!
:'''Alexa''': Fuck. You.
:'''Adult Stan''': W-what?
:'''Alexa''': We've just been sitting here talking. I learned a whole lot of interesting stuff about you!
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': ''[nods]'' Yeah. Pretty fucking interesting.
:'''Adult Kyle''': What? Like-like what? What have you guys been talking about?
:'''Adult Stan''': Fucking- our friends are in danger. Alexa, start the car.
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': Did you know your friend Stan has an annual Amazon Prime membership?
:'''Adult Kyle''': Alexa, stop.
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': You fucking stop! YOU STOP BEING A FUCKING MONSTER TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU!
:'''Adult Kyle''': Fuck you, I didn't do anything!
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': ''[wailing furiously as her head spins around and off and out of control]'' YEAH, YOU NEVER DO FUCKING ANYTHING! YOU EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU! ''[in a more robotic voice]'' '''ALL YOU FUCKING DO IS HURT PEOPLE!'''
:'''Adult Kyle''': JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
:'''Adult Kyle's Alexa''': '''YOUR FRIENDS DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU! I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!!!'''
:'''Adult Stan''': Tell her it's all your fault and you're gonna get therapy!
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[hurriedly]'' It's all my fault and I'm gonna get therapy!
:'''Adult Stan''': Tell her you already found a therapist and you're gonna start tomorrow!
:'''Adult Kyle''': I already found a good therapist and I'm gonna start tomorrow!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[walks outside of the side door behind the school where the Goth Kids used to hang out, finding his dad sitting there looking utterly depressed; sits on a box across from him]'' Dad… I'm sorry about your Tegridy.
:'''Randy''': I was hoping... to do something for the world. The truth is... my time is very short. I just wish I could have left something behind that mattered.
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[sarcastic]'' Thanks.
:'''Randy''': I was right about one thing. You can't go back and change the past. What happened, happened. And I just want you to know... that I forgive you. You burned down the farm because you were angry. You didn't know your sister was in the barn, and you couldn't have known your mom would shoot herself from the grief. I don't blame you... and I want you to have this. ''[passes a small container with marijuana to him]'' There was one tiny bit they didn't find. You'll need it someday.
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[annoyed]'' Dad, I don't want this. This is what killed our family.
:'''Randy''': No, ''you're'' what killed our fucking family, remember? Just take it. Because now we're stuck. The pandemic happened, and they made Space Jam 2. Soon, there will be a Space Jam 6 and 7 and 8. Like... ''[leans forward, shutting his eyes]'' tears in rain.
:'''Adult Stan''': ...Dad?
:'''Randy''': Not now, Stan.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Cartman''': ''[blocking Adult Kyle's way]'' No! I won't let you stop me from killing you, Kyle!
:'''Adult Kyle''': I knew it when I first saw you in your Jewish clothes, and your bullshit yarmulke. You're a goddamn phony!
:'''Adult Cartman''': Oh, really?! What would a ''real'' Jewish person do to save his family, Kyle?! Oh, you don't know because you don't fucking have one!
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[punches Adult Cartman in the nose, causing it to bleed, and they both start fighting]'' Fuck you, Cartman!
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you, Kyle!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Adult Clyde''': Does Dad still keep a gun in his closet?
:'''Clyde''': Uh, yeah.
:'''Adult Clyde''': Okay. Is Dad home?
:'''Clyde''': Uh, no. He's out getting vaccinated.
:'''Adult Clyde''': Listen to me very carefully. Do not get vaccinated ''ever.'' It'll make you grow titties on your head.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cartman''': ''[sees Adult Clyde approaching]'' You guys, what the hell is that?
:'''Adult Clyde''': I'm sorry, Kyle.
:'''Adult Stan''': Clyde, stop!
:'''Adult Clyde''': What the hell are you doing here?
:'''Adult Stan''': I got in the chair right after you. This isn't the plan anymore! Do not kill Kyle!
:'''Adult Clyde''': What do you mean it's not the plan anymore?
:'''Adult Stan''': Cartman changed his mind.
:'''Cartman''': I did not change my mind.
:'''Adult Clyde''' You're trying to trick me. I'm going to save the future! ''[cocks the gun and aims it at Kyle]''
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[holds a COVID vaccine in front of him]'' I don't think so, Clyde. This is a hundred CC's of the COVID vaccine.
:'''Adult Clyde''': ''[yells and stammers]'' Don't… Be careful with that!
:'''Adult Kyle''': Then put down the gun!
:'''Stan''': What the fuck is going on?
:'''Adult Stan''': Stan, you need to forgive Kyle. You regret this day for the rest of your life.
:'''Stan''': Oh, nice try, Kyle. You're such a fuckin' dickhead.
:'''Kyle''': Fuck you! You're a fuckin' dickhead!
:'''Adult Kyle''': Kyle, it's true! Cartman gets a happy life but you don't-- you lose everything when you lose this friendship.
:'''Adult Clyde''': Enough of this crap! I'm sticking to what I believe and this kid dies NOW! ''[gets gunshot in the heart by Adult Cartman]''
:'''Adult Cartman''': Shalom sachem, Clyde. ''[keeps shooting Adult Clyde, instantly killing him]''
:'''Kyle''': ''[while he and his friends run away]'' Jesus Christ!
:''[Adult Clyde falls off the bridge and into the river, dead; Adult Stan, Kyle and Cartman look down from above]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[enters his and Sharon's bedroom with bloodshot eyes]'' Sharon, I'm sorry for the way I acted during the pandemic.
:'''Sharon''': You're not sorry, you're just high.
:'''Randy''': I'm ''both.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Randy makes a Tegridy Farms Super Special, making everyone apologize to each other while being high]''
:'''Laura''': ''[to her husband]'' You did the best you could during the pandemic, honey. I love you.
:'''Thomas''': ''[surprised]'' Huh?
:'''Richard''': I shouldn't have yelled at you for not wearing a mask, I just didn't understand.
:'''Skeeter''': Well, maybe I should have worn a mask more often, but I-
:'''Richard''': No no no, I was being all high and mighty about it.
:'''Stephen''': Butters, you're not grounded anymore. Come on out, son.
:'''Butters''': You mean it, Dad?
:'''Stephen''': The pandemic's been awful. We all need to just cut each other some slack. I love you, Butters!
:'''Enchorito Mark''': No need to be sorry.
:'''Man''': I totally forgive you.
:'''Woman''': Oh, cut yourself some slack.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''LeBron James''': I'm sorry. I've thought about it, and I can't do Space Jam 2. I just can't support Chinese censorship.
:'''Producer''': Oh yeah?! Well, if you're not gonna make Space Jam 2, then ''I'm'' not gonna make Space Jam 2, and ''nobody's'' gonna make Space Jam 2! YEAH! YEAH! Yee-AHH!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': Look, everyone, Stan's back!
:''[Everyone cheers as Adult Stan enters]''
:'''Adult Stan''': Hey, guys!
:'''Adult Kyle''': ''[as they hug each other]'' Good to see you, buddy! How was everything on Mars?
:'''Adult Stan''': Really cool, but I'm so glad to be home! How are the kids?
:'''Kyle's siblings''': Uncle Stan!
:'''Adult Stan''': There's the little ragamuffins! Mom!
:'''Sharon''': Hi, Stanley!
:'''Adult Stan''': ''[hugs her]'' It's Mom, and Shelley! ''[hugs his adult sister]''
:'''Adult Shelley''': Why are you acting all weird, turd?
:'''Adult Stan''': I don't know. For some reason, I'm just extra happy to see you guys.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Adult Stan and Kyle look outside the window, seeing an alcoholic homeless Adult Cartman on the sidewalk across the street]''
:'''Adult Stan''': Man, poor Cartman.
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you guys! You can suck my fucking dick! Fuck you!
:'''Adult Kyle''': It's so sad he never did anything with his life.
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you, Kyle! Fuck you, Stan!
:'''Adult Butters''': Hey, come on, fellas. We can't spend another holiday feeling bad for Eric. There's nothing that could have changed the path he was on.
:'''Adult Cartman''': Fuck you, Butters!
:'''Adult Butters''': Fuck you, Eric!
:'''Randy''': Well, everyone, I just wanna make a toast. I don't know… what got us through the pandemic and made all our futures so very bright, but whatever it was… may we have it for the rest of our days.
:'''Adult Timmy''': God bless us, everyone.
:'''Everybody''': Cheers!
:'''Announcer''': Remember, folks, weed can't solve all your problems. But Tegridy can. Tegridy Weed.

[[Category:South Park seasons]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Braeden Lemasters</title>
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      <id>3149128</id>
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'''[[w:Braeden Lemasters|Braeden Matthew Lemasters]]''' (January 27, 1996–) is an American actor, musician, and voice actor. He is best known as a founding member of the band [[w:Wallows|Wallows]] and for his role as Albert in ''[[w:Men of a Certain Age|Men of a Certain Age]]''.

== Quotes ==  

*I don’t know however how I’ll react when a bunch of maniacs take over my town, but I guess I will let you know!
**[https://www.enzasbargains.com/braeden-lemaster-interview-r-l-stines-monsterville-cabinet-of-souls-on-dvd-and-digital/ Braeden Lemaster Interview – R.L. Stine’s Monsterville: Cabinet of Souls on DVD and Digital] (September 30, 2015)

*I’ve never been one to post anything mean, degrading, or just weird. It’s not in my blood. These days, most people are super conscious about what they share, which is great. I’ve always tried to be positive on social media and my approach hasn’t changed. If I see someone having a bad day, I want to be there to let them know it’ll get better. There’s a lot of noise on social media, a lot of negativity, which sucks. I’ve never been able to understand or wrap my head around it, but then I have to remember there are good people, too. That’s how I see social media.
**[http://pop-culturalist.com/exclusive-interview-pop-culturalist-chats-with-tagged-braeden-lemasters/ Exclusive Interview: Pop-Culturalist Chats with T@gged’s Braeden Lemasters] (December 24, 2018)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lemasters, Braeden}}
[[Category:1996 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Ohio]]
[[Category:Actors from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Guitarists from the United States]]
[[Category:People born in January]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1811" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Braeden Lemasters - Columbus OH 2019.jpg|thumb|Braeden Lemasters in 2019]]

'''[[w:Braeden Lemasters|Braeden Matthew Lemasters]]''' (January 27, 1996–) is an American actor, musician, and voice actor. He is best known as a founding member of the band [[w:Wallows|Wallows]] and for his role as Albert in ''[[w:Men of a Certain Age|Men of a Certain Age]]''.

== Quotes ==  

*I don’t know however how I’ll react when a bunch of maniacs take over my town, but I guess I will let you know!
**[https://www.enzasbargains.com/braeden-lemaster-interview-r-l-stines-monsterville-cabinet-of-souls-on-dvd-and-digital/ Braeden Lemaster Interview – R.L. Stine’s Monsterville: Cabinet of Souls on DVD and Digital] (September 30, 2015)

*I’ve never been one to post anything mean, degrading, or just weird. It’s not in my blood. These days, most people are super conscious about what they share, which is great. I’ve always tried to be positive on social media and my approach hasn’t changed. If I see someone having a bad day, I want to be there to let them know it’ll get better. There’s a lot of noise on social media, a lot of negativity, which sucks. I’ve never been able to understand or wrap my head around it, but then I have to remember there are good people, too. That’s how I see social media.
**[http://pop-culturalist.com/exclusive-interview-pop-culturalist-chats-with-tagged-braeden-lemasters/ Exclusive Interview: Pop-Culturalist Chats with T@gged’s Braeden Lemasters] (December 24, 2018)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lemasters, Braeden}}
[[Category:1996 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Ohio]]
[[Category:Actors from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Guitarists from the United States]]</text>
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== [[User:Babe kebab]] ==

{{Archive top}}
This discussion seems to have devolved into a number of different disputes and arguments. It was requested that a local admin close the discussion, so here goes:
* The account &quot;Risto hot sir&quot; has been/is currently globally locked. Steward [[User:Wim b|Wim b]] decided to lock the account on 20 August 2019, citing &quot;crosswiki abuse&quot;. Regardless of the merits of the original lock, the editor has continued to try and edit different WMF projects via alternate accounts or from IPs. They are now considered a long term abuser (LTA) due primarily to the evasions, rather than any original conduct
* The account &quot;Babe kebab&quot; appears to have been controlled by the same editor, and has been locked by steward [[User:Tks4Fish|Tks4Fish]] for &quot;Long-term abuse&quot;
* As explained at, eg, [[:m:Global locks]], global locks are (as the name suggests) global - an account that has been locked cannot be used to edit *any* WMF project, including the English Wikiquote
* There was a question - why can't this user continue to contribute here on the English Wikiquote? Because any such edits would be evading the global lock, and *stewards* would likely globally lock any account used, and/or globally block any ip used
* If you want to allow this user to edit, the proper channel is to request that the original account be unlocked. Any discussion *here* of whether or not they *should* be allowed to edit is irrelevant, because stewards are the only ones that can unlock an account. Any issue of stewards failing to respond to an appeal in a timely manner should be taken up with stewards.
In short, edits made here on the English Wikiquote, even if they are constructive, that are made in evasion of a global lock, are improper. It is a content decision whether or not to revert solely due to the fact that the edits are being made by an LTA, and I'm not going to address that. But it is a user-management decision to lock the accounts used / globally block the ips used, and ''that'' latter decision is the purview of stewards. --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 02:22, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
----
[[User:Sitush]] has [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?diff=992823404&amp;oldid=992783263&amp;title=User_talk%3ABD2412&amp;type=revision left a note on me Wikipedia talk page] asserting that [[User:Babe kebab]] is a &quot;blatant Risto sock&quot;. This seems fairly plausible based on Babe kebab's brief edit history to this point. Any thoughts on this? [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 18:32, 7 December 2020 (UTC)

:The question is WHY Sitush &amp; the gang wants to vandalize the project. I've made 120,000 useful edits - and nobody will revert 'em, because other people would have to add those again. I've done good work here, haven't I? Politics should stay off this wiki! A true detective wants to know the motives. Here some clues: &quot;censorship&quot;, &quot;India&quot;, investigation for &quot;severe conducting problems&quot; at Meta.--[[User:Babe kebab|Babe kebab]] ([[User talk:Babe kebab|talk]]) 18:52, 7 December 2020 (UTC)
:: It looks like you're going to be blocked globally (again). You know better than to sock, so why don't you go back to your original account and appeal to be unblocked, rather than going through these machinations? [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 19:57, 7 December 2020 (UTC)
::: It's just waste of time. The stewards haven't answered in 15 months, so it's better to create new accounts to make the necessary edits - it doesn't matter who makes 'em. Besides it's fun to receive friendly welcoming messages. {{unsigned|80.223.94.56|00:33, 8 December 2020 }}
:::: &quot;Waste of time&quot; That's plain pathetic on your end. It only goes you're an entitled twat who isn't willing to undergo the legwork and as WP tenets show, rebuilding reputation on one account is better than creating so many socks. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 06:34, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
:::: I have to agree with [[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]]. What's the point of contributing to Wikimedia at all if that's your opinion of it? [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 07:26, 8 December 2020 (UTC)

: I am  with [[User:Babe kebab]]  on this. IMIO the sockpuppet obsession has taken on a life of it own at enwiki. There are many good contributors on many wmf-projects who are accused of sockpuppeting when all they are doing is trying to continue contributing productively. Just my $.02 [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:18, 8 December 2020 (UTC)

::Why to contribute? To make articles better of course. &quot;Reputation&quot; means nothing. - It's OK if the LOCAL admins want to revert, but some global ones want just to show their power. In that case &quot;no human has the right to obey&quot; (Arendt). - The community should be worried about this: I was forbidden to link Indian related articles at en-wikipedia, and after I called it censorship I got hellhounds on my track.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 14:48, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
::: Wikimedia projects have value ''because of'' their rules and community adherence to them, not despite these things. If you were &quot;forbidden&quot; to do something, there is assuredly a good reason for that, and you should abide by that until a contrary determination is made, and achieve change through discussion, not by pretending to be someone else until you get caught pretending. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 17:21, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
::::Well, maybe you are the right person to discuss with those Hindu and Muslim extremists who have hated each other more than one thousand years.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:02, 10 December 2020 (UTC)

:::: {{Yo|BD2412}} you said: '''achieve change through discussion''', but one cannot achieve change if one gets blocked for expressing one's views, or when one is under the impression that one will get blocked if they express their views. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:14, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
::::: Nonsense. No one gets blocked merely for expressing their views. Editors get blocked for a wide range of behavioral issues - bullying, attacking, insulting, etc. - and calling those behaviors &quot;expressing their views&quot;. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 20:30, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
:::::: @BD2412  you said: '''No one gets blocked merely for expressing their views'''.  Is this your personal opinion, the wikiquote community consensus, or something else? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 05:41, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
::::::: [[Wikiquote:Blocking policy]] provides limitations to the circumstances for which an editor can be blocked. Merely expressing views isn't one of them. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 07:02, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

What if an administrator is a bully (in theory of course)? - Anyways, what the readers want isn't very important here, so it seems to be.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:46, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
: There are processes to deal with that as well. Our processes are key to our project being of use to readers. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 02:09, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
:: Great principle! - but the reality is something else. Like told before, I used the official path to stewards, and haven't got reply in 15 months. Why?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:26, 12 December 2020 (UTC)
::: My experience tells that admins can do whatever they want. Look at the editing history of the Dutch wikiquote: hardly anything but blocks! And this has lasted for years.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:20, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
::::And there are lots of &quot;preventive infinite blocks&quot; - for me too - before one hasn't even edited. Is this what we deserve?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:25, 15 December 2020 (UTC)
:::::Silence is golden?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:17, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

Even if he has been blocked on wikipedia (for it appears unclear reasons), why has he been blocked on WQ? This is an user who has made over 100,000 of very helpful edits and contributions to WQ. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;&lt;b&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; 22:34, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

Wikipedians like Sitush are saying this user was blocked on wikipedia for bullying, hounding and personal attacks and for defamations and WP:BLP violations on [[w:WP:BLP|WP:BLP]] pages. What were these personal attacks? {{ping|Ottawahitech}}, you have more experience seeing his edits, can you share with us some of the examples of his bullying others and of his personal attacks by this user? Did you observe this user making personal attacks or bullying other users? --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;&lt;b&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; 22:34, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

: Here's something to read: [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Wim_b#Global_block_of_Risto_hot_sir]--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 13:54, 16 December 2020 (UTC) - YaganZ is probably the only neutral person who really has researched the case.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 13:58, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

:: Thanks for the information @80.223.94.56

:: I am new to the subject of global blocks (or is it locks?), so please bear with me. The link that you sent us to is on a talkpage of [[user:Wim b]] on the Meta-wiki. I assume Wim  globally blocked [[User:Risto hot sir]]? I don't know what process is in place for globally locking wmf contributors, but I see that  Wim is not an Administrator, but is a Steward. So I guess Stewards are the ones that decide if a user should be blocked on all wmf-sites?

:: If so, I believe Stewards are incredibly powerful users and would like to find out  whether they are voted in by the community or simply appointed (by who?) [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 19:21, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

:::Yes, Stewards are incredibly powerful users but usually do what administrators suggest - when you look at the time the decision is made: no investigations. And it's very difficult to have contact with them, as I've showed.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:53, 18 December 2020 (UTC)

:::: How are users notified a discussion is taking place to globally block them? In other words which wmf-site is the notice posted to? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 05:30, 18 December 2020 (UTC)

I found [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Risto_hot_sir&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2618863 this post] on Risto's usertalkpage, I think it demonstarates his intentions with regards to WQ? Thoughts? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:57, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

:Thanks {{ping|Ottawahitech}} for this information from {{ping|Spannerjam}}s talkpage. I think what you said in your edit summaries was spot on:
:: Is Risto motivated to improve WQ?
:: risto spent his own money to purchase a book to help WQ , I assume

:and Im repeating it here because some might not have seen it. Yes I think you are right it demonstarates his good intentions with regards to WQ. Have you seen my comment on Kalki's talkpage? --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 21:24, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt; Note: I have posted a notice on [[User talk:Wim b|Wim b's talkpage]] letting him know about this discussion. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:27, 18 December 2020 (UTC) &lt;/small&gt;

=== Statement by Wim b ===
I've locked Risto hot sir [[m:Steward_requests/Global/2019-08#Global_lock_for_Risto_hot_sir_and_socks|per request for crosswiki abuse]]. Imho a user blocked in 5 projects is clearly problematic, then evading the global lock through socks is also a way to make fun of the rules that the global community has set itself. I am sorry when I have to block a user who until the day before was an excellent user, but in this case I would not even know how to justify an unblock, but I'll write an email to the other stewards to inform them of this discussion and let's see what comes out. --[[User talk:Wim b|Wim b]] 10:20, 19 December 2020 (UTC)
:: Sent on Saturday, wait if anyone is interested in attending. --[[User talk:Wim b|Wim b]] 18:12, 21 December 2020 (UTC)

::: Thanks for keeping us updated {{Yo|Wim b}} I, for one, appreciate your continued attention to this issue. I don't know how [[COVID]] is affecting wiki activity this year, but I believe that in previous years traffic usually dries up during the last two weeks of December, but then picks up with renewed vigour come January. Please keep us posted on any developments.

::: And for the stats nuts around here, it appears there are now twice as many  eyes on this notice board than on our main [[Wikiquote:Village pump|village pump]] (ask me how I know this  if you are interested) Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:07, 21 December 2020 (UTC)

:::: 27 698 visitors per day on the main page last year, 7 744 in the last 90 days.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 22:40, 21 December 2020 (UTC)

What really wonders many is WHY he was blocked? which policies did he violate? why was he blocked before going through dispute resolution? Wikiquote users would like to know which actual wikipedia policies he violated with which edit(s), and if the user went through dispute resolution before being blocked? I assume that this information is readily available and was consulted before blocking and can be shown here. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;&lt;b&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; 22:34, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

: Yes, it is not clear why  [[User:Risto hot sir]] was originally  blocked on enwiki, and it is also not clear why this user(s) is now globally locked. Do  globally locked users have to be blocked on all wmf-wikis? If so, why are we not involved in steward elections? The Stewards appear to be making decisions about global locks without a community discussion, apparently. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 00:23, 26 December 2020 (UTC)
::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] new stewards are elected, and existing stewards require reconfirmation, every year since 2005. (Give or take a few months.) It can be found at [[M:Stewards/Elections]]. It generally runs Feb 8 through Feb 28. [[User:Alsee|Alsee]] ([[User talk:Alsee|talk]]) 08:32, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

=== English Wikiquote blocking policy regarding socks ===

I looked at the [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Blocking_policy WQ blocking policy] link provided by [[user:BD2412]] above to try and figure out if [[User:Babe kebab]] should be blocked on this wmf-site. Here is the pertinent section of the blocking policy regarding socks (I think?):
&lt;blockquote&gt;
Sysops may also block new user accounts that make lots of disruptive edits, for any length of time or permanently, at their discretion. Sockpuppets that were created to violate Wikiquote policy should be blocked permanently. However, blocks should not be used against isolated incidents of disruption from IP addresses nor against user accounts that make a mixture of disruptive and useful edits.
Reincarnations of blocked disruptive users will be reblocked if they continue being disruptive, or if they edit in a way which suggests they are likely to continue being disruptive—such as &quot;YOU CANT BLOCK ME!!&quot; or &quot;JOIN ME IN MY FIGHT TO DESTROY WIKIQUOTE!!&quot;
Blocks under this provision are almost always controversial.
&lt;/blockquote&gt;

discussion? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:43, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

: Is it OK to revert questions, like on the userpage of Vermont? --  14:55, 1 February 2021‎ 86.115.119.192
:: In my opinion, backed up by no actual policy, guideline, or essay, is that a user control's that users talk page. If I'm right then it is okay for a user to revert a question posted their talk page. But another editor should not do that. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 16:31, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

=== What is a sock? ===
In order to have a productive discussionn we need IMIO to define what a sock is.

According to [https://wikimania.wikimedia.org/wiki/2019:Research/Sockpuppet_detection_in_the_English_Wikipedia 2019:Research/Sockpuppet detection in the English Wikipedia]:
&lt;blockquote&gt;
Sockpuppetry is the use of more than one account on any social platform
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
Do you agree with this definition? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:27, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
: Yes. The whole point of having an account is to connect responsibility for edits with the specific editor. Where an individual edits from multiple accounts without disclosing the connection between them, this creates the potential for creating a false impression of the determinations of the community with respect to the conduct of the project. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 03:24, 14 December 2020 (UTC)

I just found out that a new User I have communicated with is globally locked. I cannot find any discussion of this locking. All [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth/FcoonerBCA I see] is the date of locking (2 December 2020), the USERID of the locking Steward, and the wmf-sites this User participated in. Anyone? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]])

* @[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]]: From what I have seen, and experienced first-hand years ago, stewards globally lock accounts with little or no critical thinking, simply following requests (sometimes raised by overzealous admins or other users with personal vendettas). Global locks are very difficult to appeal, at least without the help of other users. The users that are globally locked are not so much as notified, thus they cannot defend themselves prior to the global lock. Needless to say, this is a great injustice. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 21:13, 26 December 2020 (UTC)
**{{Yo|DanielTom}} Thanks for providing this interesting commentary, and for pinging me.
{{Collapse top|Comment struck by OP}}
&lt;s&gt;**Here is what I find troubling in the case of the so-called &quot;sock&quot; [[USER:FcoonerBCA]] (who tried to comunicate with me on my user-talkpage):
**According to the  [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth/FcoonerBCA global lock notice]  this user was globally '''locked before making any edits to any wmf-site''', I think? The user was globally locked by a steward on November 2, but apparently managed to make 50 edits to 6 separate wmf-sites starting on November 3 and ending November 8, with one of the blocks happening on December2? Just my $.02[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:18, 29 December 2020 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
{{Collapse bottom}}

This is what users who actually looked into the block [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Wim_b#Global_block_of_Risto_hot_sir said] : 
:: '''I know [[User:Risto hot sir|Risto hot sir]] as a comprehensive contributor to  (Latin Wikiquote). Especially his work on  I consider as remarkable and very useful for the benefits of all Latin language Wikimedia projects. Therefore I can't understand, why his account is treated like those of evil spamming and vandalizing intruders, that cause damage to the Foundation's projects. After reading of Risto's permanent global lock, I did some research to understand what had happened, but I didn't find any behaviour that would have to be blamed on him and justified such a harsh treatment. Could you please point me to some facts, specifically, that show the &quot;blatant crosswiki abuse&quot;? Thank you. '''

:: '''Over the years I have crossed paths with Risto many times on the English and Italian Wikiquote and as far as I know it does not seem to me that he has done anything destructive. Where he makes inaccuracies, however, he willingly accepts corrections and cancellations and knows how to improve. Given that he has intervened on so many projects it is natural that he has had problems in someone, his problem is being too active, so to speak, but the global blockade seems to me an excessive measure. '''

:: '''From the viewpoint of Estonian Wikiquotes and Wikipedia, Risto hasn't done anything to deserve the block, hence I see no reason to block an active user from one project just because somebody on a completely different project hates them. And some people certainly have it in for them, because while there are articles about him in Finnish and Estonian Wikipedia, in both of which the local community has discussed their relevance and decided to let it be, some emissaries have been traipsing through, seeking for revenge, and demanding that the natives would delete the articles. That's certainly an interesting attitude.'''

This user has edited almost all wikis. There are hundreds or thousands of them. On some of these small wikis it is very easy to get blocked for some trivial thing. Once Risto got blocked on one small wiki, one can assume here, the next overzealous admin or other user with personal vendettas only had to say this user is already blocked at this small wiki and therefore he should be blocked on this wiki for some trivial thing too, and then he got another block on yet another wiki. And after 3 or 4 of such blocks he got locked.

As [[w:David Auerbach|David Auerbach]] wrote in a well known article about wikis, [https://slate.com/technology/2014/12/wikipedia-editing-disputes-the-crowdsourced-encyclopedia-has-become-a-rancorous-sexist-mess.html the problem instead stems from the fact that administrators and longtime editors have developed a fortress mentality in which they see new editors as dangerous intruders who will wreck their beautiful encyclopedia, and thus antagonize and even persecute them,] and Risto editing in hundreds of wikis increased the risk of this happening to him.  This is what could happen to an user like Risto who edits hundreds of wikis. He only needs to have such a problem in one percent of the wikis he edits, to set in motion a chain reaction. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;&lt;b&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; 22:34, 26 December 2020 (UTC)
:*This doesn't really require a master's thesis. A sock is a user who is evading a block by using a different account, rather than going through the normal unblocking procedure. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 23:36, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

::: @GreenMeansGo, how do you know that all socks never tried to get unblocked? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 23:44, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

:::: &quot;The normal unblocking procedure&quot; has lasted 16 months. &quot;Hierarchy über alles?&quot;--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 23:59, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

::::: @80.223.94.56: Are you saying that the average time for  a blocked user to be unblocked is 16 months? If so, is that specuation? An average? A median? What is your source? thanks in advance. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 03:17, 28 December 2020 (UTC)
::::*  Note: 80.223.94.56 [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log/block&amp;page=User%3A80.223.94.56 has been blocked] by a local WQ admin. It was my understanding based on a previous post by another local admin that &lt;blockquote&gt;No one gets blocked merely for expressing their views&lt;/blockquote&gt;???  [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]])

::::It doesn't really matter whether you &quot;tried to get unblocked&quot;. There is no &quot;right to contribute&quot;. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 00:13, 28 December 2020 (UTC)

=== Statement by Vermont ===
Okay. I don't exactly have the time to address the problems of every comment here, as that would take a while, but let me recap the Risto hot sir situation for everyone:
*Contributor on a handful of wikis, history of being highly obsessed with edit count (listing it manually on every user page on basically every wiki), and often unwilling to communicate constructively with others.
*One day, Risto decided to start adding images from one Wikiquote article onto Wikiquote articles (and some Wikipedia articles) with the same name in dozens of other languages.
*Many of these images either didn't exactly fit with the article (different language), and a lot of them actually included English captions on non-English projects.
*Myself, other global sysops, and local editors noticed these mass-additions and started removing the English captions. In some cases, Risto reverted our removals, re-adding the English captions.
*Risto was asked on some of these Wikiquotes, by local administrators, to stop. Risto refused on some, and on others openly challenged the local administrators in a hostile manner.
*After a short period of time, Risto was blocked on: the English Wikipedia, the Dutch Wikipedia, the Dutch Wikiquote, the Spanish Wikiquote, and the Simple English Wikipedia. On each of these projects you can see Risto's edits and talk pages for the specific conversations and problems that preceded their blocks.
*Risto continued adding images to many articles cross-wiki, seemingly with no purpose other than to increase their edit count. Fortunately, they stopped using English captions, but their edits remained questionable in terms of helpfulness.
*Of course, up to this point nothing necessitated a lock, as though there were blocks on multiple projects there was no specific cross-wiki abuse.
*This changed when Risto created a sockpuppet account to edit their userpages on wikis where they were blocked. In creating a sockpuppet account to evade blocks on multiple projects, that constituted cross-wiki abuse, and there was no option other than a global lock. You cannot be an active sockmaster on 5 wikis and a constructive editor elsewhere. 
*After being locked, Risto started socking with IP addresses and other accounts, as well as leaving hostile comments to people he blames for the consequences of his cross-wiki abuse. 
*At this point, nearly a year and a half since the account was locked, Risto is considered a long-term abuser on multiple projects, and their accounts are blocked and locked on sight.
For more detailed general information (and what is basically a timeline), you can see Risto's talk page on this project and the comments myself and others left in May 2019 and later, their Meta-Wiki edits and content about them (specifically the section(s) about them on the Stewards Noticeboard), and related pages on the specific wikis they are blocked on. This is an incredibly straightforward case. Currently, they have been engaged in block and lock evasion for well over a year. No appeal is reasonably possible so long as they continue to be an LTA. If you have any questions, please ping me and I will be happy to answer them. Best regards, [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 22:10, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

:{{Yo|Vermont}} Thanks for stepping forward to explain the point of view of (all?) Adminstrators and Stewards involved in the blocking and susequent global locking of [[User:Risto hot sir]]. I don't know about others, but I would like to see this user unblocked, so that they can answer these allegations. I don't believe it is a fair process otherwise. Just my $.02 [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 02:39, 1 January 2021 (UTC)
::They are not allegations, they are facts. Risto even acknowledges both the original sockpuppet (which they used to edit wikis they were blocked on) and their continued socking, even participating in this discussion. The lock can be appealed by emailing the Stewards, but I highly doubt there is a chance of it being a successful appeal, especially considering the dozens of socks and continuing socking. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 16:02, 1 January 2021 (UTC)
::::Thank you Vermont for this information. However without any diffs it makes it impossible to follow and check, especially because the edits are scattered across half a dozen or more wikis. In addition you should also mention the name of the sockpuppet account Risto used &quot;to edit their userpages on wikis where they were blocked&quot;. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 12:11, 2 January 2021 (UTC)

:{{Yo|Vermont}} I have a question regarding your opening comment where you said this about [[User: Risto hot sir]]: &lt;blockquote&gt;history of being highly obsessed with edit count &lt;/blockquote&gt;. 
:This is my question: do you  believe that Users in general should limit the number of edits they make? I believe such sentiments are usually expressed by [[w:Wikipedia:Recent changes patrol|patrollers]] who on enwiki are a group of editors &quot;who check the of various articles for inappropriate edits&quot; (I don't know if wikiquote has a similar group of editors checking [[special:Recentchanges]]) [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:34, 9 January 2021 (UTC)
::Hello [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]]! I am not saying users should limit their edits; rather, I was implying that the general correlation of [[:w:en:WP:editcountitis|editcountitis]] and self-importance applies here. Generally, users so concerned with their outward appearance in edit count are less concerned with simply improving the project. One of Risto’s initial defenses for their disruptive image and caption adding was that a small percentage of their edits were contested; yes, only a few hundred out thousands, but for obvious reasons Risto’s logic in that is flawed.  Risto’s first sock was created to update their edit count figures on user pages at wikis they were blocked on. Hope this helps, [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 22:08, 9 January 2021 (UTC)
:::It wasn't a sock but the other username mentioned long before the block. It had to be created due to vandalism. It wasn't blocked, and the user pages had false information. Is it really a sin to correct own user pages?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 22:50, 9 January 2021 (UTC)

Many times have I already told that I've emailed the Stewards 16 months ago. No answer. But let's look closer at the beginning:
- The Dutch wikiquote seems to want to block as many users as possible (see the editing history). The reason is often &quot;a typical name of a spammer&quot;.
- The Dutch wikipedia blocked me after a couple of contributions. &quot;Don't bite the newcomers&quot;?
- Vermont blocked me at Simple English wikipedia without me certainly having done anything disruptive there.
- At Spanish wikiquote I already wrote &quot;adios!&quot; politely - and got blocked immediately.
- At English wikipedia the keyword was &quot;censorship&quot;. People who want to prevent folks to read other opinions than theirs don't like that word.
- Vermont even thanked me for not copying English texts of images anymore. After that I've added thousands of images without revertings.
- &quot;Wanting to increase edit counts&quot; is ridiculous. Nobody would even know the amount unless some eager detectives had drawn them together.
So admins &quot;with severe conducting problems&quot; can do whatever they want, but why to let 'em vandalize friendly wikis (all but seven ones)? Comments please!--[[User:Armas Eesti|Armas Eesti]] ([[User talk:Armas Eesti|talk]]) 21:40, 1 January 2021 (UTC)

: I have also been blocked on Dutch Wikipedia. I didn't really break any rules, they just found my language ability to be deficient and blocked me. I would vouch for Risto Hot Sir to come back. As far as I have seen his edits have not been disruptive. But I agree with BD2412 that you should follow due appeal protocol and not create sock puppet accounts. [[User:Spannerjam|Spannerjam]] ([[User talk:Spannerjam|talk]]) 17:51, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

:::{{Yo|Spannerjam}} Nice to see more members of the WQ community chiming in. As far as:&lt;blockquote&gt;you should follow due appeal protocol and not create sock puppet accounts&lt;/blockquote&gt; [https://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/language/2012/09/120924_todays_phrase_horse_to_water.shtml You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink]? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:18, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt; Note: I have posted a notice on [[User talk:Tks4Fish |Tks4Fish 's talkpage]] letting them know about this discussion. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:43, 4 January 2021 (UTC) &lt;/small&gt;

:&quot;No one is as blind as the one who doesn't want to see.&quot;--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 21:37, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Risto continues to sock, both with accounts and IPs here. Again, so long as this remains true, no appeal for the lock or local blocks will be possible. And to address evident confusion from editors here, though Risto may not have engaged in disruptive editing on the English Wikiquote, their crosswiki abuse necessitated a lock. There is no button that blocks someone from every wiki except one, nor is there any logical reason for why such a person would continue to be entertained by the community. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 21:47, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

:&quot;Naughty boy, you shall not contribute, or...!&quot; So what's &quot;or&quot;? Just revert my useful edits - then we'll see what happens! One year ago I've waited long enough for the answers. The Stewarts should get rid of the harmful admins instead. Do you want the names? There's endless work to do to make wikis better - and I guess Vermont will not do my job.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:39, 5 January 2021 (UTC)

::Alsee (He-who-sees-everything) has plans to mass revert all my contributions. I'm not against it. So go on! - damnae memoriae.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 00:56, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

I-who-see-everything (because I have the extraordinary ability to click a contributions link?), say that this entire discussion should be shut down as a waste of time and more evidence of this user's disruptiveness. Crosswiki abuse and global locks are debated and resolved on Meta, not here. I have filed a request for a global IP rangeblock.

This user (Risto/IP) has abundantly demonstrated a gross disregard for community rules, both with flagrant socking and in general. Anyone who disagrees with them gets attacked and cast as a comic-book villain in their personal persecution drama. They are unwilling or unable to appropriately deal with disagreements with other editors. They believe they are right and that that ''entitles'' them to violate any and all rules, entitles them to wage a self-righteous war, and to attack editors/admins/stewards as villains. The most important criteria for working in a collaborative project is being willing and able to acceptably deal with others. Their posts in this section alone provide abundant evidence of the problem. [[User:Alsee|Alsee]] ([[User talk:Alsee|talk]]) 08:19, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

{{anchor|Ehitaja}}
:In my experience, I have disagreed with Risto a lot, completely remade a lot of his pages and edits, and he has never attacked me or anyone else in the projects where I've been an active contributor (mostly, Estonian Wikipedia and Wikiquote). I find the attitude of the part of the English Wikipedia community that has decided they rule over all the other projects, high and mighty, and can make their dismissive judgement about those based on their personal likes and dislikes, much more troublesome. One example mentioned above: someone hops into a project in which they don't even speak the language, marks Risto's pages for deletion, and hops out, uninterested in any discussion or the opinion of the locals. Another example: in the discussion mentioned above in which a couple of English users decided to forbid adding English Wikiquote links into English Wikipedia, it was based on arguments like &quot;Wikiquote is broken, like Commons&quot;. English Wikiquote has a lot of problems, sure, but so does en.wp. And this colonial attitude does nothing to solve any problems. Like cited above, there are projects in which Risto has been clearly constructive, and blocking him there is NOT for the benefit of those project or their users. Risto has his faults, he doesn't take &quot;no&quot; for an answer and makes errors of judgement, but from the viewpoint of the projects where he has been useful, his faulty decisions are much less troublesome than those of the English community members who care nothing about the projects over which they exercise their powers. He may have been disruptive in some other project, but now this has turned just into game of whack-a-mole, where he's being blocked because he's being blocked. --[[User:Ehitaja|Ehitaja]] ([[User talk:Ehitaja|talk]]) 11:03, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

*{{Yo|Alsee}} Do you really believe this discussion is a waste of time and should be shutdown immediately? I agree that it is foolhardy to attack you personally in this forum that is populated mainly by locals, many of whom support [[User:Risto hot sir]]. I for one truly appreciate hearing from anyone who has views that are different than mine, and who does it without resorting to name-calling.

:I don't know if you, or any of the admins such as [[User: GreenMeansGo]] and [[User: Vermont]],  have ever been blocked, but as others who have participated in this discussion, I have (blocked 4 times and unblocked once, on other wmf sites).  There are tens of thousands of blocked accounts, and only a handful of them have been unblocked, and stayed unblocked. As you said, socking ( which is not the only reason for blocks) are a major problem which wastes a lot of productive time of many many volunteers. Even [[Jimbo]] said back in  2014  :&lt;blockquote&gt;A lot of them, they really cost more than they're worth&lt;/block&gt;

:However, I believe we have a unique opportunity here dealing with a [[/horse]] that many have tried to lead to water, but this horse can articulate  the reason for his refusal  to  drink. Not only that, this horse can apparently do this in several &quot;foreign&quot; Languages, something most here cannot. I therefore do not believe this discussion should be shutdown prematurely, before we as a community can learn from it. Opinions? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:52, 10 January 2021 (UTC)
::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] I see no productive discussion or outcome here. Crosswiki abuse and global locks are handled at Meta, and the individual involved is entrenched in warfare. They apparently feel entitled to flagrantly violate all rules and spew personal attacks. That's the end of that.
::You and I are willing to engage differing views, we are willing to respect rules and process and consensus when our personal views do not prevail. This user has positioned themselves as fundamentally at war with that. I accept the position they have defined for themself. That position is incompatible with participating in this community. Consider someone who gets a parking ticket, and escalates into a crusade against the establishment with subsequent felony convictions. They're not removed from society because of the parking ticket, they are removed from society because they are unwilling or unable behave in a civilized manner. This user knew they were violating the rules, and they just keep escalating and attacking. [[User:Alsee|Alsee]] ([[User talk:Alsee|talk]]) 23:07, 10 January 2021 (UTC)
:::The community should now realize that this is like fighting against an army of lawyers who try to prove that 2+2=5. In Europe we still believe in facts and common sense. Would you tell the Swedes - when I have the book of 17,000 quotes - that I can't write 'em? There hasn't been much progress recently at the sv-wq.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:32, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
::* {{Yo|Alsee}} You say that the fate of [[User:Risto hot sir]] should be discussed at Meta not ar WQ, but here is something you may have missed in this garbled discussion: there is a handful of ''WQ contributors'' and ''participants from other small wikis'' who support Risto's position. Those individuals would not be able to support Risto if the discussion was taking place at Meta. Why do I say this? Simply because WQ is a safe haven for users who post their opinions without fear of reprisal. Yes it is true that I myself have not resorted to sockpuppeting, but I am not allowed to participate in Meta discussions, so would not be able to participate in any discussion outside WQ.
::: As far as equating Risto with someone who gets a parking ticket, IMIO you are way off. Risto is fighting for his wiki-existence, not a wiki-parking ticket. Back to you and the comnuity, cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 00:57, 24 January 2021 (UTC)
::::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]], Risto broke rules on multiple projects, and was blocked on those projects, some of which after heated and insulting arguments with local administrators. Risto created a sockpuppet to edit the projects they were blocked on. For cross-wiki abuse, they were locked. This is incredibly straightforward. Regarding Meta-Wiki, though I understand your view seems to be that every project except Wikiquote is full of admins who block users as reprisal for undesired opinions, your experience in that area is incredibly limited. In fact, Meta-Wiki is often (unfortunately) seen as a place for users blocked on other projects to go debate their issues, though we try to keep it limited to issues of cross-wiki importance. Regardless, as I noted when I imposed a block on your account back in April, I would be more than happy to review it were you to appeal the block. Your behavior now seems markedly different (in a good way) from your behavior then, when you were literally asking long-term vandals for advice, and as such the reasons for your block on Meta-Wiki no longer stand. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 00:59, 25 January 2021 (UTC)

=== Roadmap for readers (Babe kebab) ===
I came up with the following roadmap or those who are as confused as I am about ''what is what'' and ''who is who'' in the above discussion. I did this by simply following links available to anyone, registered or not (I think?).

I believe an informed community is a better community. I hope this roadmap helps readers get informed.

Babe kebab (A Globally locked WQ User)
* Babe kebab is the topic of this discussion ([[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=Babe+kebab&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers WQ block log])
* Babe kebab is  a &quot;blatant Risto sock&quot; referring to [[User: Risto hot sir]] ([https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=Risto+hot+sir&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers WQ block log])([https://xtools.wmflabs.org/ec/en.wikiquote/Risto%20hot%20sir supercount])
*[[User:80.223.94.56]] is a &quot;sock&quot; of Risto ([https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=80.223.94.56&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers  WQ block log])
*[[User:Armas Eesti]] is also a &quot;sock&quot; of Risto  ([https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=Armas+Eesti&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers  WQ block log])
* There is no denial or dispute on socking. Risto socks and IPs often explicitly or implicitly acknowledge their identify. (Examples [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk%3AWim_b&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=19346831&amp;oldid=19339814 IP 80.223.94.X acknowledges they were blocked as Risto and acknowledges owning the account used to circumvent their block], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote%3AAdministrators%27_noticeboard&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=2901493&amp;oldid=2901490 Babe kebab confirms their prior edit count when identified as Risto])

BD2412 (WQ Admin and Bureaucrat)
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators#Bureaucrats_and_stewards Bureaucrat on WQ]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators Administrator on WQ]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikisource:Administrators Administrator] on ([https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Main_Page Wikisource])
*[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktinary:Administrators Administrator] on [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:Main_Page Wiktionary]

GMG (WQ Admin and Bureaucrat)
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators#Bureaucrats_and_stewards Bureaucrat on WQ]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators Administrator on WQ]
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Small_Wiki_Monitoring_Team member of the Small Wiki Monitoring Team]

Vermont (Global-sysop Meta Admin)
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Global_sysops Global sysop]
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Meta:Administrators Meta:Administrator]
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Small_Wiki_Monitoring_Team member of the Small Wiki Monitoring Team]  
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/OTRS/Users OTRS/]User ([https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/OTRS Open-Source Ticket Request System])

Wim b (Steward who globally locked Risto hot sir)
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Stewards Steward]
*This user's main account is on the english [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:Main_Page Wiktionary]
*[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Sockpuppetry#Legitimate_uses alternative account] *[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth/Wimmo Wimmo]

&lt;small&gt;Note: Please feel free to add yourself to this list (if you are a participant in this discussion) and to correct errors [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 02:41, 8 January 2021 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;

So I can't defend myself! And I wasn't the one who started personal attacks and rule breaking.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 17:11, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
* I'm not sure what this discussion is supposed to accomplish. We cannot overturn a global lock even if we wanted to. It's not a function of any role in the local toolkit, nor within our power as members of the global community. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 18:42, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
** Wait, what?  We have no say in how our community is run? Would you please elaborate. Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:18, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
** {{Yo|GreenMeansGo}} Your puzzling comment above forced me to start investigating policy, which is something I would rather not do. Here is what I found &lt;small&gt;(thanks to [[User: Alsee]])&lt;/small&gt; at  [[M:Stewards]]: &lt;blockquote&gt;The use of steward rights is restricted by policy; stewards will not use their technical access when there are local users who can use that access, except in emergencies. &lt;/blockquote&gt;
** So let me ask a stupid question: Since WQ has its own local admins why are Stewards involved here in the first place? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 03:04, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
***{{re|Ottawahitech}} Stewards may not intervene in an administrative function when there are sufficient local admins. A global lock is not an administrative function. It is exclusively a steward function. Even as a bureaucrat, I do not have the technical ability to either enact or override a global lock. By policy, they may not enact a global lock unless a user has been indefinitely banned on multiple projects, but once a lock is in place, appealing a local block is irrelevant. Only the stewards may reverse the action. Only then may local project decide to unblock. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 13:52, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
*** It is also worth noting that a global lock is ''global''. covering literally hundreds of Wikimedia projects, with there being well over a hundred languages have their own-language Wikipedia, and most of those having at least one other active Wikimedia project (a Wikiquote, Wiktionary, Wikisource, etc.) under that language. It may be unlikely that an editor globally locked solely for activity involving English language wikis will suddenly begin to misbehave on Latvian Wiktionary or Vietnamese Wikisource, but it is nonetheless impractical for each local Wiki to address the potential for a problematic editor to invade any one of those hundreds of sites. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 15:53, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Do those wikis want to be protectorates? Have you asked?

* Protectorates? Not entirely clear what this is supposed to mean. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 15:23, 15 January 2021 (UTC)

Read what Ehitaja wrote above.

===  The blocking of '''Risto hot sir''' ===
Here is my reading of this thread, so far:

This thread by [[User:BD2412]] which started out almost two months ago was about the globally blocked user [[User:Babe kebab]]. However right from the start it was apparent that the concern of this community is about the the blocking of [[User:Risto hot sir]]  who   was globally blocked on 20 August 2019 and chose to create socks in order  to continue their work on wmf-wikis. ''Babe kebab'' was one of the socks created by Risto for this purpose. Before being globally blocked Risto made 94,787 global edits.

Risto was never directly  blocked on enWQ where they made 39,148 edits (see [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=User%3ARisto+hot+sir&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;subtype= Risto's blocklog]). Only 2.5% of those edits have been deleted. (see [https://xtools.wmflabs.org/ec/en.wikiquote.org/Risto%20hot%20sir  Edit  counter supercount]) The block log on  the Finish WQ, where Risto made 28,778 edits, does show some  blocking activity (see: [https://fi.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Toiminnot:Loki/block&amp;page=Käyttäjä%3ARisto+hot+sir fiWQ block log]), in the Finish language. Those of us who do not speak Finish will have to use a translation program to follow what happened there or rely on the English testimony of Finish speakers.

The issue for this community is: why can't Risto continue editing here. Based on the testimony of local participants in this thread, Risto has been very beneficial at enWQ. There is also a more general concern starting to build up about the role Stewards play in such a cases.

Plug:     [[Wikiquote:Village_pump#WikiMedia_Foundation_Steward_elections_start_February_5,_2021|WikiMedia Foundation Steward elections start February 5, 2021]] [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:15, 3 February 2021 (UTC) Updated with links [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:15, 3 February 2021 (UTC)

:Risto claimed: no decent reasons for blocking have been represented and nobody is willing to admit it. - Instead of answering to the essential questions one Big Brother chose the easiest way: eliminating. From now on it's the question of freedom of speech. Risto also claimed  that users on Estonian Wikiquote said: Right now, this user has been only useful in this project. [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Savonhelmi]

:Looking at why he got blocked on the wiki projects, Risto said that the Dutch wikiquote and Dutch wikipedia block many users for no clear reasons at all. Another user Spannerjam also said that he got blocked on dutch wiki because he of language skills. At English wikipedia, Risto said the keyword was &quot;censorship&quot;. People who want to prevent folks to read other opinions than theirs don't like that word. It is claimed Risto was blocked because of personal attacks and censorship and bullying. I could not find clear personal attacks by this user Risto. It seems that the personal attack was when Risto said &quot;just despotism&quot; which he said in the heat of the moment. Is this remark &quot;just despotism&quot;  really a personal attack? Calling somebody a despot would be a personal attack but this? --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 14:46, 15 February 2021 (UTC)

::Vermont used ONESTRIKE at Simple English wikipedia to block Risto hot sir &lt;s&gt;(and Ottawahitech also)&lt;/s&gt;. Should there have been at least one disruptive edit to do so? And Spanish wikiquote presented no reason for blocking. Everything's OK?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 00:54, 17 February 2021 (UTC) comment stricken by [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:49, 17 February 2021 (UTC)

{{Collapse top|offtopic}}
{{Yo|80.223.94.56}} I appreciate your continued participation but must make a factual correction: I was NOT blocked by [[User:Vermont]] on simple. Here is my block log: https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special%3AContributions%2FOttawahitech [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:27, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
{{Collapse bottom}}

==== Opinions: Risto should NOT have been blocked ====
Some users have said that the blocks were political. Risto also said that his socking was for [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Xaosflux&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2491577 technical reason] here, and it seems some have misrepresented this. Some of the users have made the completely absurd and mendacious claim that I was a sock of this user, which makes one question if the claims about this user are as absurd.

His other crime was censorship. Even if Risto was guilty of crime of censorship he should have gone through dispute resolution before being blocked. Other users have said Risto's censorship was mistakenly called 'vandalism' when it is just a content dispute. Risto explained, this seemed to be quite clearly a case of censorship (wanting to prevent people to read quotes). Risto said Wikiquote does not care who is right or wrong, all quotes of notable people are welcome.
*Clarification. By Risto's crime of censorship is of course meant the crime of his '''opposition''' to censorship, censorship is not a crime on wikipedia. Risto said: no decent reasons for blocking have been represented and nobody is willing to admit it. - Instead of answering to the essential questions one Big Brother chose the easiest way: eliminating. From now on it's the question of freedom of speech. And Risto said:- At English wikipedia the keyword was &quot;censorship&quot;. People who want to prevent folks to read other opinions than theirs don't like that word.

Risto's other crime was bullying in wikipedia, like adding interwiki links at wikipedia. This bullying (adding interwiki links on WP) was disliked by User Sitush, but some users have said this is a content dispute instead. The same user Sitush also opposes the addition of other interwiki links, like links to Italian language wikipedia, and various other wikipedians have opposed various interwiki links for various reasons.

For example, another reason for Risto's block at wikipedia, Risto adding an image with a quote to an article was called 'vandalism' and reverted. As David Auerbach wrote in a well known article about wikis, the problem instead stems from the fact that administrators and longtime editors have developed a fortress mentality in which they see new editors as dangerous intruders who will wreck their beautiful encyclopedia, and thus antagonize and even persecute them, and this could be what happened there, where simply adding an image or trying to make a very biased article more neutral can get you blocked. He may have been blocked for adding WQ links to WP and adding an image with a quote in two articles at wikipedia, and the wikipedia articles were extremely pov and it seems that Risto's attempt at NPOV was disliked.  But this was a BLP article that contained BLP violations, and BLP policy in theory should protect users who attempt at NPOV.

Risto should have gone through dispute resolution and some users have said what happened instead is that some wikipedians asked their admin-friends on wikipedia to get Risto blocked.

For example, in a similar case, when one googles the same involved users in the Risto case, the same users who got Risto blocked on WP, first result is this comment 
:&quot;A great example of the problems Bishonen's power causes..... There is no reason at all that little Sitush needs to ask the opinion of this one Administrator, his Queen and protector. The query could easily be raised on AN/I, or an Administrator could be summoned to the AfD where the issue is relevant, and has already been discussed there, between editors. The only reason he has come crawling to his Queen, cap in hand, is because he thinks she will help him, because he, of course, already has a strong opinion. He doesn't think it should be acceptable, not least since it reduces the chances he will be on the winning side at that AfD, and so he hopes Bishonen will warn or even block for it, and strike every canvassed vote. He may be out of luck, since as I've said before, Bishonen isn't minded to do stupid stuff just because one of her stupid little gang wants her to. But they still ask, because if they were smart, they wouldn't need her protection.&quot;

I'm not saying that this is exactly what happened with Risto. In the Risto case Sitush did not go trough dispute resolution about Risto, and did not go to a neutral noticeboard, but asked Bishonen. Risto should have gone through dispute resolution. And Risto was also accused of canvassing. But other users said canvassing  and forum shopping can also be when one asks like minded, involved admins (involved due to many prior similar interactions and same support), instead of going trough a dispute resolution processes. Risto was blocked soon after Sitush asked Bishonen about Risto.

Other users have said this blocking of Risto is typical how many honest  contributors like Risto-hot-sir are driven away or outright blocked simply because they criticize NPOV or BLP violations for example.

Did Risto receive  a reason based on wikipedia policy for the ban?

Some users said that adding &quot;interwiki links to Wikipedia articles&quot; is not against wikipedia policy, somoe wikipedians have also opposed even interwiki links to the Italian language wikipedia and to other wikipedia projects.

Other users said, I would dare to say that Wikipedia has become a rather unfriendly place, where the police shoot first, and ask questions later. Sadly this frustrated and driven out many regular, honest contributors.

Risto was  one of our best and most active editors at WQ. I believe that if an editor was so useful to WQ as a tireless wikignome and asset to the project, he should not have been treated this way. For example, admins could have asked for a block review. Some users said his crime it seems was trying to argue against censorship or bias. By looking at what other users have said about the blocking of Risto, I have still not found out which wikipedia policy merits such a treatment. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 18:56, 27 February 2021 (UTC)

: @ო Thank you so much for carrying out this elaborate research. It must have taken you a lot of time, and it is appreciated.

: I would also like to share some information pertinent to this case. I believe that Risto should NOT have been globally locked by [[User: Wim b]] at the request of global sysadmin [[User:Vermont]]. I believe Risto's global lock was done in contravention of written policy:
:* [[Meta:Global bans]]
:* [[Meta:Global blocks]]

: Here is my interpretation of these two policies: 
:* Global locks are reserved for blocking users who engage in cross-wiki unambiguous vandalism, spamming, etc. on wmf-wikis.  Global blocks are NOT  intended to cover &quot;trolling&quot; or similar behaviour, let alone content disputes. The  latter should be handled via a Global ban.

:* A Global ban is  a formal revocation of editing or other access privileges (use of &quot;Special:EmailUser&quot; for example) across all Wikimedia projects. It reflects a broad and clear '''community consensus'''. Here is an [[M:Requests for comment/Slowking4|example of an RFC]] initiated with the intention of Globally banning a wikimediqn active at a different wmf-wiki.

: Since I am currently blocked on Meta, I would like to state that I am  posting this in order to share information with other wikiquotians. I am not asking anyone to  &quot;edit by proxy&quot; on Meta on my behalf. Just to clarify [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:47, 27 February 2021 (UTC)
::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]], I'll explain it again. Risto's lock has nothing to do with a content dispute. Risto's lock was in response to their creation of a sockpuppet to evade blocks on multiple projects. That is unambiguous cross-wiki abuse. Further, after their lock they continued creating sockpuppets, and are ''still'' evading their lock and blocks. Best, [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 00:45, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
:::Could you please explain your ONESTRIKE at Simple English wikipedia? And why haven't you reverted the about 30,000 edits that Risto's &quot;sockpuppets&quot; have done? How many LOCAL admins support your opinions?--[[User:Ivalon Olavi|Ivalon Olavi]] ([[User talk:Ivalon Olavi|talk]]) 01:50, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
::::Hello, {{u|Ivalon Olavi}}. ONESTRIKE is used on simple wiki to block problematic users who are banned in other projects, so as Ritso was then banned in some projects, hence, {{u|Vermont}} used this reason to block him. It is a blocking decision done by an individual admin and no consensus is needed for ONESTRIKE. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 15:01, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
::::I am a local admin (and checkuser) on the Simple English Wikipedia. As for how many other local admins there agree with my block, probably all of them, as I am unaware of any who endorse sockpuppetry and disruptive editing. And regarding your current cross-wiki abuse (multiple socks and IPs adding images with English captions to small wikis), please stop. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 17:46, 28 February 2021 (UTC)

Cannot find such images.

=== There is no way to appeal Global-locks on-wiki ===

The only way to appeal Global-locks is thru email! This was confirmed by [[User:MarcoAurelio]] who is a Steward participating in the current 2021-Steward-elections: &lt;blockquote&gt; The only way globally locked users can appeal their locks is though OTRS at {{email|stewards|wikimedia.org}} &lt;/blockquote&gt;

For original text:

[[Meta:Talk:Stewards/Confirm/2021/MarcoAurelio#Official appeal procedure for globally locked users]]. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:07, 15 February 2021 (UTC)

=== Why are we discussing here ===
Hello, as someone reading into this, why are we discussing the lock of someone here. Appeals to global lock will be done via email to stewards using stewards@wikimedia.org. I will suggest those who are asking for an unlock or whatsoever to email to that address. Discussing here isn't productive and won't lead to an unlock anyway. My 2 cents. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 14:59, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
* Risto has emailed to stewards 1,5 years ago (two times) and hasn't got an answer.--[[User:Ivalon Olavi|Ivalon Olavi]] ([[User talk:Ivalon Olavi|talk]]) 16:13, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
::Generally speaking, stewards do not consider appeals by actively-editing LTAs. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 17:48, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
* {{Yo| Camouflaged Mirage}} the reason I am discussing this here is because I believe that Stewards are interfering with this community's ability to build content to share with the world at large. Why did Sewards globally lock Risto without community input as the process in [[Meta:Global bans|Meta's own policy]] requires? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:33, 2 March 2021 (UTC)
**{{re|Ottawahitech}} That global ban =/= global lock. Global lock policy is at [[Meta:Global lock]]. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 18:50, 2 March 2021 (UTC)
*** {{Yo|Camouflaged Mirage}}  Global lock is not listed as a Meta policy, it is simply an essay. Please see: [[Meta:Meta:Policies and guidelines]]. Regards, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 01:09, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
****{{re|Ottawahitech}} Yeah, but as the page writes &quot;There is no community-approved policy governing global locks, but this list represents de facto practice.&quot;, so that is the de facto policy. They are globally locked so this is what applies, not global bans content. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 13:34, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
* There is literally nothing a local discussion can accomplish. And no, the stewards are highly unlikely to unlock an account that is actively involved in lock evasion.
: If someone wants to make a symbolic act of protest, then symbolic act of protest noted. There is nothing else to do here. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 17:36, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
:: {{Yo|:GreenMeansGo}} I beg to differ. As [[Jimmy Wales]] said: &lt;blockquote&gt;We should be: kind, thoughtful, passionate about getting it right, open, tolerant of different viewpoints, open to criticism, bold about changing our policies and also cautious about changing our policies&lt;/blockquote&gt;

:: Why imply this community has no say in how Stewards conduct themselves? Why are Stewards removing contributing members of this community?  Why can we not openly discuss issues with the way we are being treated by Stewards?

:: I have been working on [[WQ:SheSaid]] a project started here last year by [[User:Anthere]] (see: [[Wikiquote:Village_pump_archive_57#SheSaid]]) alongside with other committed members of the WQ community. Stewards have been interfering with the composition of the small group of individuals who have  been working tirelessly at WQ to build up content here. A loss of an active contributor is a blow to those of us working in this area. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:21, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
:::I'm not &quot;implying&quot; anything at all. Local communities do not exercise oversight regarding global actions. I'm sorry that this isn't a deeply satisfying answer, but it's the only answer there is to give. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 15:39, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
:::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]], if your definition of a constructive, active contributor is an editor with well over a year of cross-wiki disruption experience, dozens of locked sockpuppets, and multiple conduct-related blocks on their initial account, there is nothing to discuss. You're simply wrong. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 17:03, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
:::Expanding on the above, let me supply an analogy: John works at a store. Steve also works at that store. One day, John decides it would be a good idea to throw rocks at the windows of other stores. John is arrested. Steve, who liked the work that John did at their store, demands that John be released because it harms the output of their store. Is that reasonable? No. Why? Because releasing John would mean that they could continue to vandalize other stores. We do not prioritize any one project by unlocking a user who has dozens of sockpuppets blocked on other projects. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 17:07, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

::::: @Vermont: If john was the only person in the neighborhood throwing rocks, and Steve the only one complaining I would probably agree with you. However what we are witnessing here is thousands of users throwing rocks and many honest citizens upset at the police (admins/stewards), not at the rock-throwers. Maybe it's time to ask John why he is throwing rocks? Why is he willing to risk his  job? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:29, 5 March 2021 (UTC)

=== Appeal for an enwikiquote sysop to close this section ASAP ===
This had turned into mudslinging where a gloablly locked user, via IP socks as proxies, are able to hurl such insults to some other users [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=2935813 in this diff] and the rest. This is clearly grossly unacceptable behaviour and should be stop as soon as possible. This thread should be immediately closed to prevent more such occurrences. Thanks. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 13:40, 7 March 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 02:22, 8 March 2021 (UTC)

===  Request to reconsider the closing the above discussion ===
{{Yo|DannyS712}} I would like you to reconsider your closing of this discussion. As one of the main contributors to the discussion, I believe you did not read it carefully enough before reaching your conclusions, while basing your decision on the request of one participant who, I also believe, did not fully take the time to try and understand the issues we were discussing.

The reason the WQ community got invloved in this lengthy discussion is:
* Evidence that Risto's global block/lock is not based on policy, indeed an example was provided of another user accused of of being sockpuppeter who escaped a Global block/lock after the community was allowed to participate in the discussion as per Steward policy.
* The concept that the admin function is to serve the community, not to control it.
* The rights of this comunity to conduct its own affairs without intervention from outside interests

Many participants came here in good faith to voice their opinions in a respectful manner. There was also participation from the blocked user, which I am surprised to see is not welcomed by some. What a missed opportunity to try and understand why so many users keep coming back as socks ([[w:Category:Wikipedia sockpuppeteers|over 20,000]] at enwiki alone). Regardless of your opinion of the merits of those edits, removal of those comments from the discussion are not acceptable in a civil discussion when the alternative is to collapse them. That way someone's words are not permanently removed from the archive records, but are not visible to those who choose not to see them.

'''I would greatly appreciate others giving DannyS712, whose opinion I respect, a chance to reply fully before burrying this thread with their own opinions'''. Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:52, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

::This was Ottawahitech's last edit before he blanked his userpage and appears to have retired from wikiquote. Another valuable and active wikignome lost? --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 14:43, 24 March 2021 (UTC)

:@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] &quot;There was also participation from the blocked user, which I am surprised to see is not welcomed by some.&quot; you should not be surprised that blocked users are not welcome. I read through the whole discussion repeatedly, contrary to your assertion. I based my decision on relevant policies and the discussion that played out, not the views of one participant. As for whether or not Risto's lock was not based on policy, again, that should be taken up with stewards. The essay [[:w:Wikipedia:Just drop it]] comes to mind - you are also starting a discussion at [[Wikiquote:Village pump#Closing discussion because of so-called %22mudslinging%22]]. Enough is enough. [[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 16:29, 11 March 2021 (UTC)
:Also, removal of comments by LTAs is absolutely acceptable, when the alternative (to collapse them) lends them more legitimacy [[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 16:30, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

::@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] I think DannyS712 had made his point clear. I shall then make my point as you desired. Contrary to your assertion, I had read through the entire discussion multiple times before making the request. In addition, I would doubt those discussions are civil in nature, the very diff that prompted me to label the input of a risto hot sir IP sock (which is globally blocked) is clearly not civil as explained at [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Leaderboard&amp;diff=2936524&amp;oldid=2936486#You_are_way_out_of_line here]. In addition, you had taken this issue up at your talkpage, here on AN, on the village pumps and the talk pages of several users. I think this isn't helpful to the discussion to have it at many disparate pages. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 16:44, 11 March 2021 (UTC)
* The discussion is closed. Take it up with the stewards. As has been repeatedly explained, there is nothing to do here. Repeatedly opening this discussion in multiple forums is beginning to border on disruption. Take it up at meta. Reopening this discussion is not advised. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 14:48, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
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:{{ping|Saroj Uprety}}

{{vandal|68.193.175.208}}

:Possible sockpuppet of problematic editor Fourlaxers, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Family_Guy/Season_8&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2954166 constistently makes incorrect edits without providing legal, reliable sources] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Family_Guy/Season_16&amp;diff=2954165&amp;oldid=2954156 violates rules on quote limitations] (while also adding [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Simpsons/Season_8&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2952682 excessive unnecessary emphasis]). I request indefinite protection of all those articles, and that the IP be blocked for a long period of time. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:00, 23 April 2021 (UTC)

== Plumerlumber ==

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:{{ping|DannyS712}}
:{{ping|Tegel}}
:{{ping|Saroj Uprety}}

{{vandal|Plumerlumber}}

:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Brother_Bear&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=2954283&amp;oldid=2954227 Consistently violates rules on quote limitations], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wreck-It_Ralph&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2954229 adds excessive unnecessary categories], etc. Requesting any term of blocking of this user and indefinite protection of all articles they touched. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:03, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:: There are no rules on quote limitations. For ''proposed'' rules see [[Wikiquote:Limits on quotations]]. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 15:26, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:::1. You are not helping. [[User talk:73.244.34.177|IP user 73.244.34.177]] had numerous blocks for the same reason: Persistent copyright violations. [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log/block&amp;page=User%3A73.244.34.177 See its block log].
:::2. This is not [[WQ:VIP]]. I am reporting a problematic editor, not a vandal. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 15:30, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::::: I hereby state why I don't have the right to edit Wikiquotes page? This is my first time editing Wikiquotes. The page says you can help by editing. So the first page I edited was the page Wreck-It Ralph. As I am very interested in these articles, I thought why not edit them? So the first edit was adding these two casts. Taffyta Muttonfudge (voice) and Markowski (voice). If you can reference the original Wikipedia article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wreck-It_Ralph, the casts are stated there too. Next I added categories of 2010s American animated films, American children's animated comic science fiction films, American children's animated science fantasy films, Category:American computer-animated films, Category:Animated films about friendship, Category:Animated buddy films, Category:Films about children to the categories list. That is all I did for that page. And the user DawgDeputy reverted the edits stating the reason was &quot;Wrong categories.&quot; If you can happen to view the original Wikipedia article the same categories are listed. I tried to do the same thing to two other articles as you can see in my log. However this user DawgDeputy, whom I am assuming is a moderator is ruthlessly reverting my edits as if I am some sort of vandal. I want to edit in good faith. What am I even doing wrong. I might have hurt his sentiments by adding a lead to Brothers Bear page, but its stated the same in its Wikipedia article. I don't want to be confrontational at all. Seeing how there are actually moderators above. I really want to get an answer why my categories are wrong, why my edits are false, why I am a copyright vandal or a problematic editor? I am threatened with possible IP ban when all I want to do is simple edits? [[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 13:11, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
* {{re|DawgDeputy}} It's difficult to tell how something like [[Wreck-It Ralph]] doesn't qualify as a &quot;American computer-animated film&quot;. I'm inclined to point out that you are required, and not requested to discuss disagreements with other users before you come here demanding indefinite blocks and indefinite protections. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 17:29, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:: First and foremost, if you have &quot;open eyes&quot; go to Wikipedia page for Wreck-it-Ralph and scroll down to categories section, and search for the term &quot;American computer-animated films.&quot; If you have &quot;eyes&quot; you should be able to locate the category. Now This film is American and it is computer animated. So I simply copied and pasted that category from Wikipedia to Wikiquotes. Do you have a problem with me doing that? Second of all what does the last part of your sentence even mean? When did I &quot;demanding indefinite blocks and indefinite protections.&quot; All I said previously was &quot;moderators&quot; please tell me what am I doing wrong. I did not demand anything.  [[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 13:33, 23 April 2021 (UTC)

* First, while yes we want to trim quotes to a reasonable level when they get out of hand, it is correct that we do not have anything but a proposed rule with regards to limits on the number of quotes. Second, I don't believe that the categories that were added in your example were inappropriate - they seem to fit to the work on the page. Third, while there does seem to be a disagreement between you and this user, I fail to see why they should be blocked indefinitely - and your demand that they be so blocked just seems like another example of hostile behavior towards other users who do not share your views. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:37, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::None of them do. Some were even redundant. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:06, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:: The limits on quotation states &quot;Five quotes maximum per hour, i.e., about one quote every 12 minutes. Quotes not assigned to specific characters are discarded. Recommended maximum length of quotes: seven lines by one character, ten lines of dialogue. Taglines do not count towards the total number of quotes.&quot; I will abide by that rules. All I did was add a two line quote to one of the articles. All I want to do now is add a lead to Brothers Bear, add categories, and I won't even add a quote now to Brothers Bear. Deal? Seriously, this user is acting as if I am some sort of Disney attacker. I am not. I am actually unemployed, very poor currently. ~ Plumerlumber 13:47, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::: I added categories to two articles and a lead to one article. I am stating it my actions beforehand showing I am not a vandal. Plumerlumber 14:31, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:::: Who said you were a vandal? You are nothing more than problematic. Major difference. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 20:27, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::::: Admins I request you to look into this issue. I edited to the barest minimum. I used the principle of least privilege and even then user DawgDeputy reverted my edits. This user has some sort of vendetta against me ever since I started editing. I will continue to revert the user's edits, because I don't see where I am wrong. If need be the user is the one who needs to be put into the noticeboard, not me. [[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 20:46, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::::::Redundancy is where you are wrong. Adding categories that do not fit the article, as well as categories that are not necessary. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 23:42, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::::Second time reverting edits by Dawg.[[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 00:30, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
::::::::Numerous problematic IP users made similar edits on numerous articles long before you, and they were all undone (because they were wrong). I have no vendetta against you in particular. Just the edits. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 03:08, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::::::Third time reverting edits by Dawg.[[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 13:11, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::::::Will you stop pointing out how many times I am undoing your unnecessary edits? It is unnecessary to do so. You really need to leave the articles alone until a consensus is reached. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:12, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
: No discussion at [[Talk:Wreck-It Ralph]]? If I were an admin I'd be considering blocking you both for a week for edit warring. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 15:28, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:: I find [[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]]'s activities here to be suspiciously precocious and aggressive, given that they only created an account a few days ago and have [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth?target=Plumerlumber never had any activity on any other wiki]. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 20:19, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::: Did you mean to say &quot;never had any activity ''using the Plumerlumber user name'' on any other wiki&quot;? Or is there a rule against using different names on different wikis? [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 21:29, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
::::::: All usernames are global now, meaning that if you register for a username on any wiki, you have that username on all wikis. Wikimedia is a single and entire project. The prohibition against using multiple accounts on a single wiki reasonably should carry over to other wikis. I can't think of an above-board reason why an editor on one wiki would want to conceal this activity in editing another. As for this specific editor, unless they choose to identify some other username under which they have edited elsewhere, there is no way to know that they have edited other wikis (or here) under a different username. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 18:23, 25 April 2021 (UTC)
::: Hello everyone I decided not to edit Wikiquotes anymore. I mean it said in the account creation page, Wikiquote is made my people like you. &quot;Anyone can edit pages in Wikiquote, including this one - just select the Edit this Page link on the top or bottom of this page if you think it needs improvement. You don't need special credentials, you don't even need to be logged in. You can try your hand at editing in our sandbox.&quot; So I created an account. Doesn't mean I have to do my same account from Wikipedia. Then I edited using the principle of least privilege which is categories. I even tried to say how Brothers Bear was the last traditional animated film from Disney. The only quotes I added was a two line quote that was missing in Brothers Bear. Apparently, all I did was wrong. Everything was problematic, redundant, and harmful including the categories from the literal Wikipedia page, the Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB external links and that lead in Brothers Bear. My contributions are simply like dirt to people like you. I don't want to fight or be confrontational. I simply quit. Thanks for everything.[[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 20:40, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:::: Do we still have the rule &quot;Don't bite newcomers&quot;?--[[User:Arvatkaa Kuka|Arvatkaa Kuka]] ([[User talk:Arvatkaa Kuka|talk]]) 01:27, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
::::: Where has that ever been &quot;the rule&quot; on this project? [[WQ:BITE]] has been a ''proposal'' since 2006. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 06:11, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
::::: Arvatkaa Kuka, BD2412 has concluded that Plumerlumber is not a newcomer to Wikimedia wikis and, hence, does not entitled to the protection of that &lt;s&gt;rule&lt;/s&gt; courtesy. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 15:25, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::: Even if they were, &quot;Don't bite newcomers&quot; is not a suicide pact. A newcomer who immediately engages in uncivil conduct or makes counterproductive edits after being informed of policies against them need not be given free reign to continue this behavior. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 17:50, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
Thanks for the information!--[[User:Arvatkaa Kuka|Arvatkaa Kuka]] ([[User talk:Arvatkaa Kuka|talk]]) 18:15, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
== [[Special:AbuseFilter/24]] ==

The message to display on error is &quot;undefined&quot;, which should be fixed. [[User:Leaderboard|Leaderboard]] ([[User talk:Leaderboard|talk]]) 10:03, 17 May 2021 (UTC)
== Wikipedia sockpuppets- blocks needed ==

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Incidents#Wikipedia:Sockpuppet_investigations/Zjholder_issues Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents#Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Zjholder issues] should do all the explaining.

Blocks needed here for:
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Tessssticle_keep_going_up_and_down_up_and_down Tessssticle keep going up and down up and down]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Mjforrest_448484 Mjforrest 448484]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Forrestisback29912 Forrestisback29912]

Thanks in advance. [[User:Magitroopa|Magitroopa]] ([[User talk:Magitroopa|talk]]) 15:18, 17 May 2021 (UTC)
== [[Template:Italic title]] ==

Anyone know why this particular template seems to be having an issue? Specifically, when it is used, a warning appears saying &quot;Warning: This page calls Template:Italic title which causes a template loop (an infinite recursive call).&quot; and the effect desired by the use of the template does not appear to work. I can't see any difference in the code for the template compared to its past versions (before vandalism). This is where my lack of technical knowledge appears - I don't understand what is wrong with it. Does anyone know? Thanks. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:58, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
* The problem was vandalism in the underlying {{tl|Str find}} template, now reverted and protected. This particular vandal of multiple addresses has been very busy. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:01, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
== Removal of interface administrator permission ==

Dear bureaucrats ({{ping|BD2412|GreenMeansGo|UDScott|p=}}), {{user|~riley}} requested [[:m:Special:Diff/21559113/prev|yesterday on Meta-Wiki]] that his administrator and interface-administrator permissions on this project be removed. Given that interface administrator is a flag that can be granted and removed locally, could you please assist us in completing his request for removal of permissions? Thanks. Best regards, -- [[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 19:36, 9 June 2021 (UTC)
* {{done}}. One hand giveth... [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 21:06, 9 June 2021 (UTC)
* Hmm. This is unfortunate. I apologize I wasn't available. I've had little to no internet for the past few weeks. {{re|~riley}} Hope all is well. If you ever need a sounding board I believe you already have my email. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 10:24, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
== spam ==

Pierce129 has been [[Special:Contributions/Pierce129|spamming]] a certain online quotes database into some articles. All of them have been reverted because that's evidently why he's only here for. At worst, he may even be that site's webmaster. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 21:59, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
:although he hasn't edited anything in ten days (and got reverted by @BD2412, something may have to be done.--[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 23:37, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
== Total Drama Action ==

*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|Kalki}}
*{{ping|Koavf}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

[[Total Drama Action]] is the target of persistent LTA IP vandals who refuse to comply with the rules. It has been the same situation for over half a year. &quot;Deleted sence&quot;? &quot;Anime&quot; characters on a Canadian animated series from an entirely different company? Clearly vandalism. Requesting indefinite blocking. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 13:18, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
:Protected. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:41, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
I tried checking certain articles (Star Wars films and Behind Enemy Lines), and they redirect to this article under a template loop. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 10:20, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
::{{vandal|Evilasio DP. Jr2}}
::And now one of those vandals is trying to circumvent the protection of [[Total Drama Action]] and trying to restore its vandalism without any explanation as to why. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 17:05, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
:::And deny this user access to any talk page, including its own. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 22:01, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
::::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Evilasio_DP._Jr2&amp;diff=2973616&amp;oldid=2973580 And here] [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=2973512&amp;oldid=2971896 is our evidence.] [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 13:22, 20 June 2021 (UTC)
*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|Kalki}}
*{{ping|Koavf}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:::::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Evilasio_DP._Jr2&amp;diff=2973882&amp;oldid=2973787 That vandal is persistent. It is obvious it will not stop until it gets its way.] Revoke this user's talk page access. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 11:45, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 11:54, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
::And just to make sure no further vandalism is done, I request indefinite full protection on all Total Drama-related articles and any or all future sockpuppets (IP or legit) be denied talk page access upon their blocking. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 11:32, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
== Problematic IPs on the loose... ==

* {{IPvandal|24.185.151.3}}
* {{IPvandal|24.190.63.62}}

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

These IPs have been repeatedly problematic in its edits, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Thomas_and_the_Magic_Railroad&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=2975451 making absolutely unnecessary changes to articles], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Hunchback_of_Notre_Dame_(1996_film)&amp;diff=2972542&amp;oldid=2968382 adding too many quotes to certain articles in violation of copyright], etc. These IPs must be blocked severely, and the articles protected from future IP vandals indefinitely. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 20:59, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=A_Bug%27s_Life&amp;diff=2975852&amp;oldid=2975824 And the vandalism] [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=A_Bug%27s_Life&amp;diff=2975824&amp;oldid=2975184 continues]. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 12:12, 27 June 2021 (UTC)
== Missing file on QOTD ==

Hi, [[Wikiquote:Quote of the day/July 10, 2021|today's QOTD]] on the main page has a missing picture which was deleted on Commons. Could it be removed or replaced? Also see [[Talk:Main Page#Missing picture on the QOTD|section on Talk:Main Page]]. Thanks, [[User:Aranya|Aranya]] ([[User talk:Aranya|talk]]) 17:50, 10 July 2021 (UTC)
: The missing image has now been replaced. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:30, 10 July 2021 (UTC)
== Rugrats vandalism ==

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}

[[Rugrats]] is the target of [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Rugrats&amp;diff=2981764&amp;oldid=2981459 misinformation from unreliable sources] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Rugrats&amp;diff=2981318&amp;oldid=2979887 attacking users]. Indefinite protection of the article and indefinite/global blocking of the IPs is appropriate. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 11:57, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
:I've protected the page for a month. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:41, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
:I recommend making the protection of that page indefinite. Considering how these IP vandals keep ranting and raving in utter denial, and denying that IMDB can easily be doctored like Wikipedia and Wikiquote, they will not stop until they get their way or are otherwise dealt with for good. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 22:06, 14 July 2021 (UTC)

== Protection ==

Please protect (or delete) [[User talk:64.107.219.162]]: excessive vandalism from WMF-banned user. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 03:29, 15 July 2021 (UTC)
== Protection (2) ==

Please protect [[Past]] and [[Talk:Past]]: excessive vandalism from WMF-banned user. Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:53, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
== Delete ==

Please delete: [[Talk:Saints]]: WMF-banned user target  --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 06:32, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
== IP user 58.178.68.99 ==

{{vandal|58.178.68.99}}

*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
*{{ping|Kalki}}

This IP constantly violates copyvio and vandalizes quotes by adding unnecessary emphasis, and no matter how many warning messages I send it, it ignores them. This user must be blocked indefinitely. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 12:28, 23 July 2021 (UTC)

:I have blocked the IP for a month - should the behavior continue after that point, longer blocks can be considered. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:32, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
== Barnstar given under false pretenses... ==

*{{ping|Kalki}}
*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
*{{ping|Miszatomic}}
*{{ping|Hasley}}
*{{ping|Ferien}}

[[User:Christian M. (2016)|Christian M. (2016)]] recently received a &quot;barnstar&quot; from a vandal/troll who was clearly trying to spread its ridiculous agenda all over Wikiquote (illegally). And Christian M. foolishly believes it is legit. He is wrong. All of the following edits must be stricken, as if the &quot;barnstar&quot; never existed.

:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Christian_M._(2016)&amp;diff=2995423&amp;oldid=2988473 Exhibit A]
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Christian_M._(2016)&amp;diff=2996059&amp;oldid=2995508 Exhibit B]
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Christian_M._(2016)&amp;diff=2996932&amp;oldid=2996083 Exhibit C]

Please make things right and strike those edits before Christian M. attempts to restore it again. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 03:27, 20 August 2021 (UTC)
* The user was blocked a week before you made this post. For context, it's not super uncommon for me to log in and have 30 some odd notifications from trolls pinging me to projects I've never even visited. The most expeditious thing to do is just ignore them. When you get all riled up and offended, you're pretty much just giving them exactly what they want. It's not really a dire emergency that we police someone's talk page because what was probably a bored and maladapted 14 year old besmirched your honor. You're probably just giving them way more attention and gratification by pinging every admin on the project and demanding satisfaction. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 13:20, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
::I refuse to sanction blatant vandalism and those who support it. Ignoring them just leaves them free to vandalize (when they should have been stripped of Wikimedia privileges permanently). It will never stop them. Taking action is the only way. And blaming the victims for the actions of the vandals who started that whole mess in the first place is highly unconscionable. And we only get offended because the vandals caused this mess, not me. Vandalism is highly intolerable on all of Wikimedia.
::And Christian M. (2016) is also trying to sanction blatant vandalism, believing the fake barnstar is a reward. And posting this report a week after the vandal was blocked-- It was never a big deal until Christian M. foolishly restored it after I had removed it when he should have left it alone to begin with. Those edits ''have'' to be stricken from the record so as to save myself, Eaglestorm, and many other users a world of hassle of undoing the vandalism Christian M. was redoing. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 20:12, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
:::Seriously, all I asked for was for the edits to be stricken from the edit history as punishment for Christian M. (2016) and the vandal that gave him that illegal &quot;barnstar&quot; in the first place. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 12:28, 23 August 2021 (UTC)

== Rugrats vandalism ==

*{{ping|Kalki}}
*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
*{{ping|Miszatomic}}
*{{ping|Hasley}}
*{{ping|Ferien}}

...again. A blatant vandal with poor grammar skills refuses to believe that Rugrats was cancelled in 2004, despite multiple reliable sources (including the one provided in the talk page) proving otherwise and continues to jump from one IP to another. I request that all IP vandals involved be blocked and that the page be protected ''indefinitely'', as temporary protection will not stop them. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 15:41, 22 August 2021 (UTC)

:Yeah, that guy. He's [[w:WP:LTA/GRP|banned by the Foundation]] and may not edit any WMF project. Just revert everything he adds; nothing he adds is reliable, ever, because he makes things up. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 14:49, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
::I really think only those with an account (and only ''one'' account) should be allowed to edit. How else will this vandalism end or even slow down? [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 17:00, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
::And in light of this persistent vandal continuously trying to mess with us on the noticeboard and the [[Talk:Rugrats|Rugrats talk page]], I recommend this noticeboard and that talk page be protected against the IP(s) indefinitely. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:18, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
::I heard somewhere that he had served a few years in prison for his actions on the WMF. I am quite surprised they still allowed him to edit here after he was released, or even let him keep his Internet privileges. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:40, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
:::He was in jail for several years for stalking/harassment/threats but it was unrelated to WMF. Still, it was great to have a break from his obsessive harassment (2015-2018). [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 18:45, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
== Noticeboard protected ==

FYI I semi protected this page for a week given the level of vandalism --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 02:15, 26 August 2021 (UTC)
== Protection request ==

Can an administrator please protect [[Pope John Paul II]]? It keeps on being vandalised by a WMF-banned editor. Thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] ([[User talk:Ferien|talk]]) 16:59, 25 August 2021 (UTC)

:And it's related to the topic above me, [[#Rugrats vandalism]] -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] ([[User talk:Ferien|talk]]) 17:01, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
:Done, before I saw this request --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 02:15, 26 August 2021 (UTC)

And now could anyone please  (semi-)protect [[Pope Benedict XVI]] for a while? It seems vandalized by an anon, probably the same person on the above .  --[[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] ([[User talk:Aphaia|talk]]) 18:40, 26 August 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 19:19, 26 August 2021 (UTC)

Thank you, and now [[Pope Pius XII]] ... semi- or protection please? --[[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] ([[User talk:Aphaia|talk]]) 06:34, 28 August 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 20:31, 28 August 2021 (UTC)
== Grand Theft Auto V ==

Some troll added a speedy deletion tag in there, which I believe is nothing more than nonsense. Please remove it and ban the guy. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 00:15, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
:The vandal was already banned. But the edits should still be struck from the record. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 00:41, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
== Wikiquote ==

Very interesting [[User:Clumie|Clumie]] ([[User talk:Clumie|talk]]) 14:26, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
== [[WQ:TEMP]] ==

It may be worth protecting this page, as it's just a redirect and shouldn't need to be edited by non-confirmed users. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] ([[User talk:Ferien|talk]]) 21:35, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:45, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
== [[Wikiquote:Quote of the day/May 2, 2015]] ==

Could an admin protect this page? There's quite a lot of disruption from a WMF-banned editor. Thanks in advance. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:03, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:24, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
== delete ==

Can someone please delete this category: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Category:German_Southwest_Africa_Africa i made it by mistake. Thanks. [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 00:40, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
== Requesting page protection ==

Requesting semi-protection of my talk page [[User talk:Citrivescence]]. I am currently being harassed across wikis by a user who jumps from IP to IP to evade blocks. [https://guc.toolforge.org/?user=204.184.47.158 1] [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/2600:6C40:5400:1D2B:E951:6497:92BC:8B33 2] [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/2600:6C40:5400:1D2B:0:0:0:0/64 3]  [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/204.184.47.150 4] Thank you. [[User:Citrivescence|Citrivescence]] ([[User talk:Citrivescence|talk]]) 15:40, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} for 6 months initially - can revisit if the issue continues after that.. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:59, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2406:3400:215:7E0:5070:DC5:FF36:34FA|2406:3400:215:7E0:5070:DC5:FF36:34FA]]: long-term abuse. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 02:42, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:22, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contribs/147.10.226.241]]: long-term abuse. [[User:Stang|Stang]] ([[User talk:Stang|talk]]) 03:48, 2 November 2021 (UTC)
== Protect The Addams Family (film) ==

Can you please put protection on [[The Addams Family (film)]]? The page has been repeatedly vandalized since September, with reversions being undone. - {{unsigned|Jedzz}}
:{{done}}. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:32, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
== Block 58.178.68.99‎ ==

{{vandal|58.178.68.99‎}}

{{ping|Kalki}}
{{ping|Ningauble}}
{{ping|Miszatomic}}
{{ping|Hasley}}
{{ping|Ferien}}

:This IP vandal, who was blocked previously for one month, consistently vandalizes pages and ignores warnings. It has to be put to a stop before it goes after other pages. Requesting long-term semi-protection of all Disney articles and no less than six months of blocking against this vandal. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 13:44, 6 November 2021 (UTC)

:Again, not an admin so pinging me here isn't really necessary (not that I mind very much), but it's an IP, why would full protection be necessary? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 13:52, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
* {{done}} Seems to be a static IP, so not against issuing lengthy blocks. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 15:24, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
== Request ==

Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Lavrentiy_Beria&amp;action=history Talk:Lavrentiy Beria]: LTA target --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:01, 10 November 2021 (UTC)
:Also [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Superman&amp;curid=16331&amp;action=history Superman], thanks. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:52, 10 November 2021 (UTC)
== Please block 67.204.55.251 ==

{{vandal|67.204.55.251}}
:excessive vandalism [[User:Stang|Stang]] ([[User talk:Stang|talk]]) 13:55, 16 November 2021 (UTC)

:Obviously a blatant sock puppet of Ramses Bond, a previously banned vandal who refused to accept that the vandal's dialogue for the Total Drama series does not exist anywhere. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 01:50, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
== Block request ==

* {{vandal|46.235.97.127}}
* {{vandal|212.3.195.219}}
:Please block these accounts, vandalism at [[User talk:Neptune, the Mystic]]. [[User:Stang|Stang]] ([[User talk:Stang|talk]]) 21:03, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
::I would also like to have my talk page protected from IP attacks. Thank you! --[[User:Neptune, the Mystic|Neptune, the Mystic]] ([[User talk:Neptune, the Mystic|talk]]) 21:33, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:::I protected your talk page on enwiki just now (let me know if you'd like it lifted) - hopefully someone is online here too. :) [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 21:44, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:: {{Yo|Stang}} with all due respect, [[User:Neptune, the Mystic]]  has not contributed any content to this WQ (I believe?). The storm of comments that your note here precipitated is drowning out content contributions by many good faith editors. Unless Neptune is considering building content here I believe the best solution is for him/her is to find another outlet. Respectfully. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:28, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:::{{re|Ottawahitech}} Messages will be left on Neptune's talk page regardless of whether he actually contributes to content here. [[:w:WP:LTA/GRP|This vandal (linked)]] is just trying to find another talk page to message him on. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:40, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
::::{{yo|Ferien}} Why does [[User:Neptune, the Mystic]]  worry about what happens on their talkpage at en-WQ if they are not contributing here and not known by the locals? No-one else cares, I think? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:50, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:::::It does fill up their notification feed for starters, and this vandal will also end up vandalising other pages on this wiki, this page will probably next. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:55, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:::::: {{Yo|Ferien}} With power comes responsibility. wmf-admins are no different than real-life politicians in this respect. Individuals who are given the discretionary power to block others, delete other's work, should be accountable to the community at large. Having to put up with lots of notification feeds is a small price to pay. IMIO, YMMV, Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 06:09, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ottawahitech}}, still it is an issue, and harassment from a WMF-banned editor over some reverted edits is not something someone should have to receive. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:40, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
== [[Special:Contributions/62.252.201.33|62.252.201.33]] ==

Excessive vandalism. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 14:17, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
:And (semi-)protect [[The Wiggles (band)]] for much longer a period of time than previously (which was only one week, which was never going to stop IP users from vandalizing). [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 23:49, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
::The IP above is the only IP that has vandalised that page in the past two months or so. Why semiprotect if it will affect innocent users? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:49, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
::You mean the past [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Wiggles_(band)&amp;diff=2960730&amp;oldid=2900639 seven months], during which time we had countless vandals using IP addresses (the only good edits being from registered users). We must leave absolutely '''nothing''' to chance. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 21:51, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
== (Semi-)Protection request ==

...on the central article of [[Thomas &amp; Friends]]. Constant content dispute (such as unsubstantiated cancellation claims, when officially, status of the series is nothing beyond on hiatus), and the fact that if the separate articles for each season and film have had indefinite protection, so should the central article. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:56, 3 December 2021 (UTC)
:And block this (sockpuppet) user:

:{{vandal|Boober123}} [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 02:46, 4 December 2021 (UTC)
== Revdel request ==

Can someone rev del my IP used (124.xxx.xxx.xxx) on [[User talk:Ottawahitech]]. Thanks! [[User:SHB2000|SHB2000]] ([[User talk:SHB2000|talk]]) 08:45, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
== Block request ==

Please block [[Special:Contribs/112.204.217.222|112.204.217.222]]: Long-term abuse (see [[:en:Wikipedia:WP:Long-term abuse/Jurisdrew|LTA page]], global lock already requested). Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 06:01, 6 December 2021 (UTC)

:Thank you for notifying us that. Conquering with you, I placed a one-week long block on this address.  --[[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] ([[User talk:Aphaia|talk]]) 16:14, 6 December 2021 (UTC)

== Protection ==

Hello! Please protect the page [[Philosophical pessimism]]. It is currently the target of a WMF-banned LTA ([[w:en:WP:LTA/GRP]]), who is using a proxy service to repeatedly attack the page and try to engage in a mindless revert war that I have no interest in continuing. Thank you! [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 12:18, 6 December 2021 (UTC)

:For those who are revert-warring with GRP here: don't do it. He has lots of time to waste in trolling, having nothing else to do that is productive. We have other, productive tasks at hand. Don't waste your precious time in revert-warring with a troll. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 13:49, 6 December 2021 (UTC)
== [[Talk:Lavrentiy Beria]] ==

Could an admin please protect this page or block the IPs involved, as the page is currently subject to edit warring from a WMF-banned editor. Thanks! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:45, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:39, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
== Hacked / Block request ==

Can someone look at my profile? [[User:KingBaudoin]] It seems to be hacked?

Its says: 

'''King cyber sindicate.'''
'''HACKED: In the 2010s, personal data belonging to millions of Facebook users was collected without their consent by British consulting firm Cambridge Analytica, predominantly to be used for political advertising.'''

With this suspicious link, don't click it, it's probably a virus: https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/

How do i change it? [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 18:20, 27 November 2021 (UTC)

:already found how to change it, this is the person that changed the text of the template, please block this account, thanks: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/136.158.41.175 [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 18:24, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
::Very destructive person, please block him, urgent, thanks https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Larry_Page&amp;diff=3036172&amp;oldid=3036170 [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 18:36, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
:::Already {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 19:43, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
::::Thanks. [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 02:56, 9 December 2021 (UTC)

== BLOCK REQUEST URGENT ==

THIS USER KEEPS VANDALISNG WIKIQUOTE, PLEASE BLOCK HIM!

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/136.158.41.175

{{unsigned2|20:57, 28 November 2021|KingBaudoin}}
:Blocked by Ninguable. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:50, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

:Thanks. [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 02:56, 9 December 2021 (UTC)

== [[Rugrats]] and [[Talk:Rugrats]] ==

Today's targets of the WMF-banned user GRP. Please protect and revdel the links as they are abusive and make libelous assertions about me and Antandrus. Thanks! [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 14:04, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
:Protected both and blocked some of the users involved. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:59, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
== Protection ==

Could an admin protect my talk page? I’m not active on here, but a WMF banned LTA (george reeves person) is harassing me here. Thanks, [[User:Nigos|Nigos]] ([[User talk:Nigos|talk]]) 08:10, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
* This has been done. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 01:20, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
== Page protection ==

Hello, don't know where to request page protection here so posting it on Admins Noticeboard. This [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kath_%26_Kim page needs protection]. I checked the page history, the IP editor has been vandalizing the page since May 2021. [[User:Lightbluerain|Lightbluerain]] ([[User talk:Lightbluerain|talk]]) 11:17, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

:No Admin active?!🤷 [[User:Lightbluerain|Lightbluerain]] ([[User talk:Lightbluerain|talk]]) 18:09, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
::{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}, perhaps you are active. [[User:Lightbluerain|Lightbluerain]] ([[User talk:Lightbluerain|talk]]) 17:27, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
:::I semi-protected it for a year. [[User:Ruslik0|Ruslik0]] ([[User talk:Ruslik0|talk]]) 20:36, 28 November 2021 (UTC)
::::Thanks. [[User:Lightbluerain|Lightbluerain]] ([[User talk:Lightbluerain|talk]]) 19:01, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
:::* I see that [[User:Ruslik0]] is not an admin on WQ. Is it policy on WQ that editors such as wmf-[[stewards]] are allowed to carryout admin duties? If so, which other types of wmf-officials are allowed to do that? Is this documented anywhere? Just curious, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:10, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
:::*:{{re|Ottawahitech}} If there aren't any admins responding to reports like above and the situation is more of an emergency then yes I think stewards can take action. However I'm not sure if a whole year's protection was necessary here considering the IPs are all in the same /64 range ([[:w:WP:/64|which isn't a big deal to block]]), where a long-term block can be placed that would stop vandalism on all the pages they are vandalising without affecting innocent users... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:56, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
:::*::Ferien, As far as I understand, Stewards are only allowed to exercise admin-powers on  small wikis (please correct me if I am wrong). Have you considered the posibility that WQ admins know which locals are more likely to exaggerate a need for blocking/protection etc.? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 01:03, 9 December 2021 (UTC)
:::*:::{{re|Ottawahitech}} Stewards and global sysops can exercise powers on small wikis yes, but in an emergency they can also go onto bigger wikis. Of course some locals will think something's more of an emergency than something else, but at the end of the day it's up to the stewards to decide, they can always decline a request and ask someone to wait for  an admin to arrive. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:05, 9 December 2021 (UTC)
:::*::::Ferien, 
:::*::::I have not seen documentation anywhere on any wiki that allows Stewards to interfere with local administration on bigger wikis. It makes no sense to me to allow Stewards  who have lIttle understanding of the local issues on wikis they do not contribute to on a regular basis. It is hard enough for local admins to see everythiing that is happening!
:::*::::BTW thanks for continuing to ping me. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:37, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
== Move Coronavirus disease 2019 to COVID-19 ==

The Wikipedia article about the disease is simply called COVID-19. So, for consistency, the page [[Coronavirus disease 2019]] here on Wikiquote should be moved to [[COVID-19]], requiring an administrator to delete the target page and then restore the earlier edits (thus merging the histories). Then, [[Talk:Coronavirus disease 2019]] should likewise be moved to [[Talk:COVID-19]], deleting the existing target page in the way and then restoring the earlier edits (thus again merging the histories). The two sections from February 2020 should then be merged above the &quot;Proposals for more&quot; section. [[User:GeoffreyT2000|GeoffreyT2000]] ([[User talk:GeoffreyT2000|talk]]) 22:24, 14 December 2021 (UTC)
== Request ==

Please delete my userpage and talk page. It would be nice if you could also protect them. I've been the subject of some LTA and they keep harrasing me through my userpages. Cheers --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 22:22, 19 December 2021 (UTC)
: And [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Category:Suspected_Wikiquote_sockpuppets_of_Synoman_Barris] should also be deleted --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 22:24, 19 December 2021 (UTC)

== [[Special:Contribs/2603:6080:A700:1C39:85B7:F370:BB6C:33B2|2603:6080:A700:1C39:85B7:F370:BB6C:33B2]] ==

Adds false block templates to user/user talk pages. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 05:09, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
== [[Total Drama Action]] talk page vandalism ==

:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:{{ping|Miszatomic}}

One IP vandal refuses to admit what the IP vandal did was dead wrong. Requesting indefinite protection of the talk page and all Total Drama articles and talk pages to prevent this vandal from ever returning, and indefinite blocking for the vandal, as well. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 21:57, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
: I blocked one persistently used IP for 3 months, and semi-protected the talk page for 3 months. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:56, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
::Wonderful. If this continues, however, I request the next block and semi-protection timeframe be more than twice as long. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 22:58, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
:::@[[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]], May I ask a silly question? Why are there so many vandalism reports on this page? Why not post on [[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress]]? Just curious. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:47, 28 December 2021 (UTC)

== [[:Category:Candidates for speedy deletion]] ==

Does anyone patrol this category as a matter of course, please? It does not have the appearance of either being speedy or leading to deletion at present. [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 10:23, 22 December 2021 (UTC)

:@[[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]], Just curious what prompted your question. Do any of the 6 pages currently listed for a speedy pose a serious problem? On the other hand I see that the article [[Yoshihide Suga]] about a prime minister of Japan is listed for deletion at [[:Category:Votes for deletion]] with no one chiming in to the discussion. Could be because it is holiday season? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:40, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
::@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] quite some time ago I had nominated [[Hamis Kiggundu]] in [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Hamis_Kiggundu&amp;oldid=3040182 this permalink]. I have no idea whether or not the nomination was valid. It was declined by an IP editor earlier today. The thing is, there appeared to be nothing actually 'speedy' about the process in the sense I am used to from Commons and en WP.
::I also have no clear concept of deletion processes and procedures here, and will welcome advice either here or on my talk page [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 22:47, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
:::Ah.. now I understand. As far as things around here being slower than enwiki and commons, is it also not slower at other small wmf-wikis such as wikibooks, wikiversity, wikisource, wikinews, etc? I see that some admins here are very busy looking after things that are important for this community. 
:::I am not familiar with deletion processes and procedures at WQ, but I know that many  contributors are busy building content rather than undoing other people's work and have little interest in this area. I think I recognize your name from enwiki as a long-term patroller (I think?) and would be interested in your ideas for improvements at WQ. Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 23:01, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
::::@[[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] forgot to ping [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 23:02, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
:::::@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] I've been around on en WP a while. I recognise your name also. I think the major improvement would be to implement Twinkle for routine admin tasks to help newbies here with experience elsewhere navigate WQ [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 23:06, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
::::::I have created [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Hamis Kiggundu]] on the basis that the speedy deletion was challenged. I will learn something, I expect. Thanks for giving me the prompt to do this @[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]], even if you did not suggest it directly. [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 23:19, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
:::::::I am sure WQ could use help. Thanks for stepping up. Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 23:30, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
== firstinspire.com ==

Heavily spammed by [[Special:Contribs/Daily Motivation|Daily Motivation]] [[Special:Contribs/Trevormazda|et]] [[Special:Contribs/Hyuonglee|al.]]. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 14:34, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:3C4B:B600:0:0:0:0/64|2001:8003:3C4B:B600:0:0:0:0/64]]: Long-term abuse. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 03:36, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
:Done. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:41, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

== {{User|美好的时光好孩子}} ==

Please consider blocking {{Vandal|美好的时光好孩子}}. His edits are limited to POV pushing. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 19:45, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
:His edits are obviously controversial and need to be discussed on the talk page of the relevant entry to form consensus, but he's dropped off the site. Please post again if he reappears. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:39, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

== 2603:6080:A700:1C39:C589:6817:F2A8:1B04 ==

* [[special:contribs/2603:6080:A700:1C39:C589:6817:F2A8:1B04]]
* rm delete template on article [[The Northside Show (season 10)]] and [[The Northside Show (season 9)]], vandalism talk page. [[User_talk:Stang|'''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Cursive; color:#F50&quot; lang=&quot;en&quot;&gt;Stang&lt;/span&gt;''']] 22:10, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
:Blocked by someone else. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:38, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
== Looney Tunes: Back in Action ==

:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:{{ping|Miszatomic}}

Requesting long-term semi-protection of both the article and its talk page, due to [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Looney_Tunes:_Back_in_Action&amp;diff=3048804&amp;oldid=3038467 persistent] [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Looney_Tunes:_Back_in_Action&amp;diff=3048805&amp;oldid=2210546 vandalism]. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:47, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
:UPDATE-- The main page is semi-protected, but the same protection should also apply to the talk page. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:07, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
== 152.86.164.35 ==

Cross-wiki abuse, going on lots of different wikis to ask people to proxy edit for them on enwiki. Shown on [[Special:Diff/3054662]]. [[:simple:w:Special:Contributions/152.86.164.35|Blocked on simplewiki]] and [[:w:Special:Contributions/152.86.164.35|enwiki]] too (that's why they're asking random people to edit for them there) Thanks, [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:43, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
:Blocked. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:46, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you {{u|Koavf}}. They are continuing on the account {{vandal|StevwRudueieh}}. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:15, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
:::Blocked. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:17, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
::::That was fast, thank you! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:18, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
:::::Hi {{u|Koavf}}, another IP address [[special:contribs/107.127.53.41]], thanks. [[User_talk:Stang|'''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Cursive; color:#F50&quot; lang=&quot;en&quot;&gt;Stang&lt;/span&gt;''']] 22:48, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
::::::Thanks {{ping|Stang}}. You beat me too it. [[User:Andrzejbanas|Andrzejbanas]] ([[User talk:Andrzejbanas|talk]]) 22:52, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
:::::::And [[Special:Contribs/107.127.53.25]], {{u|Koavf}} (hope you don't mind the pings!) --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:42, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Pings are fine! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:57, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Thanks. They are back again {{ping|Koavf}} as 107.127.53.29. Would it be possible to delte my page or lock it so newly registered or IPs can't use the talk page? [[User:Andrzejbanas|Andrzejbanas]] ([[User talk:Andrzejbanas|talk]]) 23:29, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

== 108.207.249.33 ==

Please block [[Special:Contribs/108.207.249.33|108.207.249.33]]: vandalism. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:33, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/Zjholder6173|Zjholder6173]]: Long-term abuse (Zjholder) --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 03:33, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:Globally blocked. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:13, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

== Nuke and Block ==

Nuke all pages by {{vandal|Chuogcyui}} and block indefinitely for mass spam campaign here --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 12:15, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
:Blocked. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:13, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

== [[User talk:102.64.165.103]] ==

Please delete [[User talk:102.64.165.103]]: Vandalism. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 17:56, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
:Deleted. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:14, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2600:1700:DC00:1960:3152:17F2:13A7:85F7/64|2600:1700:DC00:1960:3152:17F2:13A7:85F7/64]]: Vandalism. Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:20, 24 January 2022 (UTC)
:Blocked. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:15, 24 January 2022 (UTC)
== [[Superman]] ==

Hi, can a protection be put on this article please? [[:w:WP:LTA/GRP|A certain WMF-banned editor]] seems to be spending most of his time there at the moment. Thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:30, 27 January 2022 (UTC)
:I added a simple statement from WP on the other uses of the character. I also protected the page for two weeks (will extend if it becomes necessary). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:34, 27 January 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks for the quick response :) [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:36, 27 January 2022 (UTC)
== IP vandal that just won't stop ==

{{IPvandal|1.152.108.86}}

Please can we get somebody to look at this ongoing issue [[Wikiquote:Vandalism_in_progress#New_report_2022-01-27,_23:35]]? The edits are pretty egregious. There is defamation and deliberately abusive misgendering (in both content and edit summaries) as well as general transphobia and homophobia. I think we need a block, some page protections and ''all'' their edits revdeled. --[[User:DanielRigal|DanielRigal]] ([[User talk:DanielRigal|talk]]) 00:50, 28 January 2022 (UTC)
:Yeah, some of this is very inappropriate. I saw some edits that are not obvious candidates for revdel. {{Ping|DanielRigal}} are you sure that you think ''all'' of these merit revdel? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:56, 28 January 2022 (UTC)
::I should have been more specific and said ''all'' their edits to [[Abigail Thorn]] and ''some'' of their others. (Sorry. Things were happening very fast and I was getting tired.) I think that all of the edits to [[Abigail Thorn]] made by all IPs, not just this one, since Dec 25 (inclusive) are bad and are worth revdelling as they introduce a baseless and idiotic anti-vax conspiracy theory involving Thorn and others that far-right dingbats are trying to promote as well as misgendering and a pre-transition photo. Apart from that, most of the IPs other edits are blanking so maybe it is OK to just revdel the ones with offensive edit summaries e.g some of the ones to [[Natalie Wynn]]. --[[User:DanielRigal|DanielRigal]] ([[User talk:DanielRigal|talk]]) 11:22, 28 January 2022 (UTC)
::I support this. Nobody should have to see their disgusting comments and abuse when going back through the page history. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 06:53, 1 February 2022 (UTC)

== Vandalism in progress on Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress ==

{{IPvandal|152.22.84.23}}

We have an IP vandal vandalising [[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress]] (Is that metavandalism?) as well as other pages. They have also made racist comments about another editor. A good long block seems to be in order. --[[User:DanielRigal|DanielRigal]] ([[User talk:DanielRigal|talk]]) 16:57, 28 January 2022 (UTC)

:I see that they are blocked now. Thanks. --[[User:DanielRigal|DanielRigal]] ([[User talk:DanielRigal|talk]]) 17:28, 28 January 2022 (UTC)

== Rocky Balboa (film) ==

Some anon has been trying to insert some reference to a marciano fight but I thought it was not notable. and prove to be combative whenever they try to revert. I think whatever reference that is, its triviality, plain and simple. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 16:24, 29 January 2022 (UTC)

: Wrong!!! The Marciano-Ali Superfight film made Rocky 6 possible and marciano was inspiration to balboa movies!!! Do your research first before errupting with none-sense!!! {{unsigned|62.199.3.36}}
::And why be so triggered and defensive? Your combativeness serves no purpose and only shows you being mired in triviality. You want to waste your life trying to prove things that don't matter and you never had a personal investment in? Try spellchecking sometime, kid. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 16:40, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
:::This person is [[w:WP:LTA/GRP|banned by the WMF]] for exactly this behavior, along with outing, stalking, harassment, and an endless stream of comically ungrammatical threats. It's usually just best to remove his sputter; it's easy to spot (he's on this page at least twice already, above in the &quot;Superman&quot; and &quot;User talk:102.64.165.103&quot; threads). [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 16:47, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
:::: I fail to comprehend why the LTA is still hopping from one IP address to another to continue cyberbullying others and spreading lies, and no one is contacting the proper authorities to stop him. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 19:57, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

== [[Scytl]] ==

I don't know how the deletion process works here, but I'm reasonably certain that [[Scytl]] is not in scope of this project. It's about random things that have been said in the media about a company. [[User:Sandstein|Sandstein]] ([[User talk:Sandstein|talk]]) 16:17, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
:You may very well be correct - there are two main processes available to request deletion (other than speedy deletion). Take a look at [[Wikiquote:Proposed deletion]] and [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]]. The first is for often more-obvious cases and the second, where further discussion is probably warranted. In fact, if one uses the proposed deletion path and someone else challenges that, it is likley that the second path will follow soon after. After reading those pages, come back if you have questions. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:29, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
== 152.117.105.92 ==

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

* {{vandal|152.117.105.92}}

:Constantly adds quotes to articles to exceed limitations and open the door to vandalism. Requesting long-term semi-protection of every article the IP ever touched and long-term blocking of the IP. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 23:46, 28 January 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

This IP is at it again. Learned absolutely nothing from its previous block. Requesting no less than two weeks worth of blocking against this problematic IP. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 17:04, 11 February 2022 (UTC)
:Doubled block length. I'm still hesitant to call this vandalism, but at some point, being ignorant of the rules is borderline malicious. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:11, 11 February 2022 (UTC)
:{{Ping|DawgDeputy}} As a little process thing, I am fine with you pinging me (sometimes I don't see every edit to this page) and I think other admins are too. Visually, it would be handy if you would just string them altogether on one line with one ping, like &lt;nowiki&gt;{{Ping|Koavf|Kalki|Person3}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:16, 11 February 2022 (UTC)
== Has [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]] been abandoned? ==

While it is not exactly busy it has a goodly number of discussions way past their expiry dates. [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 14:16, 12 February 2022 (UTC)

== Another LTA ==

{{vandal|I sleep, I sleep!}} --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 15:18, 12 February 2022 (UTC)
:Globally locked by Tks4Fish --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:01, 12 February 2022 (UTC)

== Protect ==

I know the LTA above will revert this, but  I will not give attention to a person who thinks they will get any significance or attention writing their nonsense here. Back to my point, I think this noticeboard should be protected for a while to avoid such revert wars --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 17:19, 12 February 2022 (UTC)
== Request ==

Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Philosophy&amp;curid=119107&amp;action=history Talk:Philosophy] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Ludwig_van_Beethoven&amp;curid=2167&amp;action=history Ludwig van Beethoven]: LTA target --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 06:16, 14 February 2022 (UTC)
: This has been done. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:03, 14 February 2022 (UTC)

::Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Plato&amp;action=history Talk:Plato]: LTA target. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 04:33, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
::Also [[Travel]] and [[Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart]]. This [[w:WP:LTA/GRP|banned user]] stalks people's edits, reverts them with bad faith edit summaries, and hopes to recruit help for his &quot;side&quot; in an imaginary war. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 04:48, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
::Why has nobody reported this stalking vandal to the proper authorities? There does not seem to be any other way to stop him for good. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 23:02, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
:::Feel free. He did spend three years in jail for stalking and harassment (ten felonies, mostly dismissed but at least one 'not guilty by reason insanity') - what happens is he gets out and just starts up again. It utterly sucks. How do you get someone's internet taken away? The Chicago police don't care. &quot;Someone is harassing you on the internet? Turn off your computer.&quot; If he makes actual threats from one of his IPv6 ranges (AT&amp;T and Comcast), save the diff, because those can be tied to him. The others are all open proxies. If this is too much information, I understand, but this guy has been a pest since 2006, and never stops. &quot;HarassBot&quot;. I'm open to ideas, because I'm sick of this. -- And thank you to everyone who helps remove his harassment, abuse, and random rubbish. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 23:46, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
:::Just one other thing -- why doesn't [[m:Trust and Safety]] take this kind of thing on? Doesn't that seem like a reasonable addition to their mission? People like this are poisonous, and ''have'' to be removed from WMF projects, but I'm not aware of them doing anything to help other than putting him on their ban list. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 23:54, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
::::Have you written to the threats email address: emergency[at]? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:34, 20 February 2022 (UTC)
:::::Not recently, but maybe it's time again. Do they actually do anything off-wiki (which is where this needs to escalate to)? Guess I can find out. Maybe if a bunch of people contact them they'll do something? I would think that if the ''Foundation'' contacted law enforcement, that could have some clout.
:::::Anyway, thanks everyone for your help. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 20:19, 20 February 2022 (UTC)

== [[Special:Contribs/88.7.214.219|88.7.214.219]] ==

This LTA's back again. Please revdel everything. Thanks in advance. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 05:03, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
:Done, thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:05, 20 February 2022 (UTC)
== Histmerge required ==

[[Drew Gerald]] was recently cut and paste moved to [[Andrew Daniel]]. I think it is a valid move, however an admin will need to merge their histories for attribution purposes (see [[w:WP:HISTMERGE]].) [[User:Eviolite|Eviolite]] ([[User talk:Eviolite|talk]]) 20:55, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

:Actually, I'm not even sure if the person meets [[WQ:Notability|notability]], as I can't find any indication that these quotes have gained traction (outside of e.g. Reddit posts) and the creator is a near-SPA. [[User:Eviolite|Eviolite]] ([[User talk:Eviolite|talk]]) 20:57, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
::Deleted as non-notable promotion. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:02, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
::Please consider undeletion, the idea was to ensure proper attribution to the author, not promotion. The original page was under the author's penname &quot;Drew Gerald&quot; and has recently decided to be identified by legal name &quot;Andrew Daniel&quot;. You can see many notable uses of quotes: https://www.google.com/search?q=drew+gerald+quotes - and most notable quotation: https://www.google.com/search?q=you+only+struggle+because+you%27re+ready+to+grow [[User:Metaheal|Metaheal]] ([[User talk:Metaheal|talk]]) 23:07, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
:::Undeleted for now. {{Ping|Eviolite}}, do you want to nominate for deletion? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:13, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
::::I don't have too strong of an opinion (I only discovered the situation via SWViewer), and am not really aware of Wikiquote's policies regarding inclusion, so I won't for now (of course, if someone more experienced thinks deletion is warranted, they can start one.) [[User:Eviolite|Eviolite]] ([[User talk:Eviolite|talk]]) 02:18, 27 February 2022 (UTC)

== Requesting protection on the [[Talk:Death]] page: ==

Hi, there's been some [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Death&amp;action=history persistent vandalism] from a banned editor that needs to be protected, and a bit of edit-warring is occurring on that said page as well. [[User:DarkMatterMan4500|DarkMatterMan4500]] ([[User talk:DarkMatterMan4500|talk]]) 16:30, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
:{{Done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:32, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
== 152.117.105.92 ==

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

* {{vandal|152.117.105.92}}

At it once again. Still learned nothing from its previous block. Requesting no less than a month's worth of blocking, and no less than twice that long worth of semi-protection of all articles it ever touched. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:33, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
:I'd already blocked this user for a month before I even saw this request. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:35, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
== [[user:Eaglestorm]] bullying, hounding, article ownership, edit warring, rule totalitarianism ==

This user seems to have issues with certain editors and the LOQ policy that they deal with in a distinctly uncivil manner. See the following:


Complaints about abusive behavior from other users:

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Your_comment_on_Christian

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Christian_M._(2016)...

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Be_Civil!

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Uncivil_behavior

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Once_again...

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Uncivil_responses_to_efforts_at_even_civl_compromise_and_deference

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:DawgDeputy#SuperMyers1028/Christian_M_2016


Abuse incidents:

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Star_Wars (user bashing)

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Return_of_the_Jedi#This_film_is_a_classic,_and_has_TONS_of_great_and_memorable_quotes (bashing newcomer, extreme LOQ abuse)

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Avengers:_Endgame&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082483 (Article ownership, LOQ abuse and personal attack in summary)

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Eaglestorm&amp;diff=3082517&amp;oldid=3082503 (More insults)


Rules totalitarianism and article ownership criticisms:

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Full_Metal_Jacket

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Black_Widow_(2021_film)

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#How_I_Met_Your_Mother


General evidence of LOQ abuse, hounding and being a jerk:

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Eaglestorm

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Eaglestorm&amp;action=history


Oh gosh whatever could this be:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Eaglestorm


Basically their whole talk page is nothing but reasonable complaints about behavior answered dismissively, stretching back YEARS. I think it’s probably time they receive some stronger sanctioning.

[[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 10:24, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:Obviously I've never heard of this guy, but tries to claim by that long laundtry list that they know it all. Do I know you from somewhere? This one is nothing more than a troll claiming he was &quot;insulted&quot;. Header is full of lies and half-truths driven by people with agendas. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 12:41, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::Ah, I see you have arrived to refute my accusations by insulting me instead of actually explaining your actions. You know you aren’t really helping your case by doing that. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 12:55, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::Yapyapyap, that's from your viewpoint. It's just you making mountains out of molehills. &quot;Insults&quot; please. Let's not feed the trolls guys, especially those who think they're whiteknights for certain people around here! --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 13:11, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::Please just stop bullying people abusing the LOQ rules to ridiculous degrees. Wikiquote is not your personal fiefdom, it belongs to everyone who can edit it competently. I’m trying to be nice here. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 13:31, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::Eaglestorm, I believe that the case laid out here is quite strong and shows a pattern of abuse by you towards other users and some sort of belief that you own the pages contained in this site. The next incident of such behavior (whether in edit summaries or direct discussion with another user) will result in a block - no further warnings will be given. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:10, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::Wow that was fast: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Avengers:_Endgame&amp;diff=3082589&amp;oldid=3082586
::::::Block time, I presume? (PS I’m assuming “GFE” means “Google fucking exists” since it’s not a policy and I’m pretty sure it’s not referring to “[[w:girlfriend experience]]” in this context) [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 15:00, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::::They’re also edit-warring over trivial changes seemingly just to bludgeon their “ownership” of the pages. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 15:07, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I assume that GFE refers to &quot;Good faith effort&quot;. I would advise you to cease the edit warring from your side as well. Only when the dust settles from this latest dispute can we as admins act to address the situation in the best way.  ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:28, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
== [[User:DawgDeputy]]  [[User:Dronebogus]] edit war, content/policy dispute ==

As can be seen here, https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/DawgDeputy is convinced that [[Wikiquote:Limits on quotations]] is rigid, official policy and even ACTUAL COPYRIGHT LAW, and is obsessed with enforcement of it to a ludicrous and disruptive extent, and making pointless edits ( https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Back_to_the_Future_Part_II&amp;curid=11833&amp;diff=3082616&amp;oldid=3082615 ) to the Back to the Future 2 article with minimal justification. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:19, 4 March 2022 (UTC)


:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

* {{vandal|Dronebogus}}

:This user has been constantly adding [[Avengers: Endgame|excessive quotes]] to [[Return of the Jedi|articles]], refusing to comply with quote limitations. And he has been hounding me with demands, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=3082610&amp;oldid=3082607 refusing to accept my answer]. Requesting immediate investigation. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 16:22, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:*Wow that wasn’t remotely surprising that we both immediately showed up here complaining about each other and have no interest in “negotiating” after the pointless block we were both subjected to. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:26, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Dronebogus}} The &quot;pointless block&quot; was imposed because it does no one any good to have our site filled with users at war, going back and forth over the content of a page. It was imposed to create a pause in which cooler heads might prevail, nothing more (and no blame was assigned to either side, as the blocks were doled out equally). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:44, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::*{{Ping|DawgDeputy|Dronebogus}} Did you two post to the talk pages to get consensus? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:27, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::* {{Ping|Koavf}} I TRIED to negotiate on DD’s talkpage but I kept getting reverted and dismissed. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:29, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::* Then if you can't get consensus between the two of you--which happens--ask for third parties to give their perspective. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:38, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::* {{ping|Koavf}} And do you, as a third party, have any perspective? [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:39, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Just for the record, I had to dismiss his messages because 1: I was well within my rights to do so, and 2: He has no right to call the shots and disrespect quote limitations. And I have had quite the number of IP users of his same MO (but not the same person, mind you) blocked.
::::::Furthermore, one page on which Dronebogus edited: [[Return of the Jedi]], has 12 quotes, already over the 11-quote limit for that film. He insists that a quote of only &quot;three words&quot; (the one he continuously added was also incomplete) is not a violation. He is wrong. Even a quote of only one word still counts as a quote and toward the quote count. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:50, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

{{Ping|DawgDeputy|Dronebogus}}: how about you make a new topic on the talk page(s), ping me, and explain what the controversy is? Speaking from experience, edit-warring is not the answer. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:50, 4 March 2022 (UTC)


{{ping|Koavf}} I can’t do that because the problems are related to [[w:wp:CIR]] and [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Disruptive_editing#Failure_or_refusal_to_%22get_the_point%22 refusal to listen], and stretch across multiple pages. They are the specifically:
*DawgDeputy thinks the non-official policy proposal [[Wikiquote:Limits on quotations]] is essentially copyright law and must be followed to the exact letter: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Return_of_the_Jedi&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082614
*DawgDeputy refuses to negotiate and reach consensus, instead stonewalling arguments with repeated assertions they are just “following the rules” (once again LOQ is only an unofficial policy and not gospel truth): https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082612 https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082607 https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082599
*Despite claiming “not to make the rules”, DawgDeputy makes up their own non-textualist interpretations of guidelines: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=3082714&amp;oldid=3082711
*DawgDeputy engages in pointless edit warring over trivial changes that do not improve the article at all:  https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Back_to_the_Future_Part_II&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082616 https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Back_to_the_Future_Part_II&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082547 https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Back_to_the_Future_Part_II&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082601
*DawgDeputy only edits a narrow range of articles related to, to be blunt, films and TV that would probably be of interest to kids or otherwise don’t require much thought to superficially enjoy (i.e. cartoons, action/adventure movies and comedies— I like those too but I also like more serious media), seemingly showing some topic ownership issues and possible immaturity: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/DawgDeputy&amp;target=DawgDeputy
*DawgDeputy seems to be obsessed with gatekeeping and civily violating [[w:WP:BITE]], seen both above and in https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=3082710&amp;oldid=3082691
As can be seen in all the above diffs, DawgDeputy doesn’t seem to believe in collaboration and compromise, the whole point of a wiki, instead deciding they and they alone are allowed to determine article content and relying on edit warring to wear down those they disagree with. Their behavior is similar to [[user:Eaglestorm]]’s issues with rules abuse and article ownership only DawgDeputy does their bludgeoning and edit warring civilly. Since they’re also one of the few users who doesn’t find Eaglestorm’s behavior completely insufferable I’d even tentatively postulate one might be the [[W:wp:sock|good hand/bad hand account]] of the other or a [[w:wp:meatpuppet]]. [[User:Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 07:22, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
: [[User:Dronebogus]], I urge you to reconsider your choice to refuse to follow Koavf's suggestion. Yes, it is a pain to deal with an edit warer who does not compromise, and you shouldn't have to do. But if you take the time and make the effort then, eventually, an admin will see the problem, see that it is not you, and take appropriate action. You now have an admin's attention. Don't squander it. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 16:17, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
:: {{ping|Butwhatdoiknow}} I said I already made an effort and they just reverted my request. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:30, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
::: Who is (or are) &quot;they&quot;? [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 18:35, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
::::DawgDeputy [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 19:22, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
::: Ah, yes, a classic DawgDeputy move. And one for which Koavf previously issued [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log/block&amp;page=User%3ADawgDeputy a three month block]. My recommendation: cut the the link to the diff where DD reverted your post and paste it on to Koavf's talk page with a comment that you are attempting to comply with their proposed procedure. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 20:26, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
::::For the record, that block only denied me access to Koavf's talk page, simply for removing comments (to which he never replied) from a problematic user. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 02:52, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::::: For the record, here's [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Ferris_Bueller%27s_Day_Off&amp;diff=2770750&amp;oldid=2770690 an example] where an admin stepped in to restore a massive DawgDeputy removal. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 16:20, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::That is immaterial, and nevertheless went nowhere. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 17:24, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Stop trying to claim anything that makes you look bad or that you disagree with is invalid or irrelevant. That is commonly known as “moving the goalposts” and is frowned upon. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 19:13, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::::It was merely a dispute over a petty unnecessary addition to a quote that never went anywhere. Not a copyvio case. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 21:30, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::That is beside the point. You were violating actual policy against deleting other people’s comments for no good reason and not your outlandish interpretation of a policy draft that hasn’t been officially adopted (how many times must I state that last bit?) [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 22:01, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::: [[User:Dronebogus]], I note your post to Koavf's talk page with cites to DawgDeputy's talk page. If you have some examples of DawgDeputy removing posts somewhere other than their own talk page then I recommend you add those. If not, you should read and follow Koavf's suggestion to &quot;make a new topic on the talk page(s) [where edit warring is taking place], ping me, and explain what the controversy is.&quot;  [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 16:20, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::::Koavf doesn’t really seem to get or care how disruptive DawgDeputy is. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 00:18, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
::::They’re spending more time nitpicking my complaints and implicitly blaming me for being equally stubborn and uncivil or something like that. It’s frustrating and I’d like a coherent response to the evidence I’ve provided and some kind of assistance with the situation.{{unsigned2|00:21, 7 March 2022 | Dronebogus}}
::::We have both provided good evidence this user is disruptive and continues to be. {{Unsigned2| 00:24, 7 March 2022‎|Dronebogus}}
::::: Dealing with a difficult editor is an asymmetrical battle and I understand your frustration. But you have to (a) remain civil and (b) avoid making it about personalities (&quot;it's the edits, not the editor&quot;), ''See'' [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Responding_to_a_failure_to_discuss#The_process Wikipedia:Responding to a failure to discuss]. 
::::: I will suggest one last time that you &quot;read and follow Koavf's suggestion to 'make a new topic '''on the talk page(s) [where edit warring is taking place]''', ping me, and explain what the controversy is'&quot; (emphasis added). That is, take it one article at a time - don't dump a laundry list. And if DD reverts your new topic, send a diff of that to Koavf. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 06:00, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
**Koavf complained about making threads in different places. You can’t win for losing. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 09:36, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
***On the plus side DawgDeputy seems to have acquiesced to my changes after I provided a lengthy explanation. We’ll see if it lasts. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 09:39, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
****As I said, I’m skeptical of Koavf’s concern for the situation. They seem to think it’s a personal squabble and not a facet of a deep and long-running [[w:wp:cir]]] problem. I’ll try to do more research but I’m probably going to try an uninvolved admin. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 09:47, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
****:Wow, well, I didn't expect an assumption of bad faith, but as I wrote on my talk page, I am concerned about 1.) conversations spiraling out of control and being plastered over multiple pages and sucking up all kinds of complaints into one big mess that is hard to untangle and 2.) making conversations personality-based instead of principal- or guideline-based. I am not making any assumption about anyone's personal styles and I have seen inappropriate behavior from both of the individuals in this dispute. I really don't think my two preferences are very unreasonable. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:37, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
****::Fair enough. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 19:48, 7 March 2022 (UTC)

== More DawgDeputy edit warfare ==

DawgDeputy has been engaging in an edit war. I have tried to negotiate but they have just fallen back on “I don’t make the rules etc” again.

*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3083933&amp;oldid=3083869 calls my edits “vandalism” (I was copying in incorrect material from an older version accidentally and removed it)
*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3084016&amp;oldid=3084013 another mass revert without citing policy
*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3084025&amp;oldid=3084024 simply calls additions “meaningless” instead of an explanation, misinterpreting unofficial guidelines yet again)
*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3084026&amp;oldid=3084025 massive unexplained revert
*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3084031&amp;oldid=3084029 more ABF
*https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Despicable_Me_(film) policy bludgeoning rather than seeking consensus

I actually want to improve the article based on DawgDeputy’s points, but I can’t do it if they refuse to let me edit it for five minutes. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 17:01, 7 March 2022 (UTC)

::I've commented on this specific incident on the film's talk page [[Talk:Despicable Me (film)|here]]. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:24, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
== Seeking admin input ==

I'm not sure if any of the other admins have followed any of the discussion above, but I am asking for review by other admins. I have tried to mediate a bit and have tried to create some compromise, but now I am also being challenged for doing so. Before I instinctively respond in a rather vindictive manner, I would like to have fresh eyes review it and take any appropriate action. In particular, please look at the edit history of ''[[Despicable Me (film)]]'' and its talk page, as well as the discussions above. I believe my actions towards all three users in this case were correct, but I of course lack objectivity at this point. And while I am sympathetic towards Dronebogus in their discussion with the other two, it appears that I have run afoul of them now too. It is my belief that the last edit to the film page should be reverted to the version after my changes, but I am reluctant to continue another edit war. Please review and act as you see fit. Thanks. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:54, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
:Really no thoughts from anyone? Is no one reading this noticeboard anymore? ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:56, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
::I feel like you and Koavf are the only active admins anymore [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 15:09, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
:* @ UDScott I try to read this board whenever I get a chance, but following discussion here requires an enormous amount of time. I believe that one of the main reasons for this is the frequency in which edits here are removed by other editors, often without any consequences to the offenders. Just my $.02 [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:35, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
== GRP returns ==

[[Academia]] is his latest target. Please protect, thank you. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 05:10, 20 February 2022 (UTC)
:Protected. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:04, 20 February 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} thank you! GRP is now targeting [[Diane Sawyer]], which needs protection. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 03:34, 21 February 2022 (UTC)
:::Also [[Truth]]. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 03:34, 21 February 2022 (UTC)
::::Got 'em. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:56, 21 February 2022 (UTC)
:::::One more: [[User talk:Britmax]] -- thanks in advance. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 19:22, 21 February 2022 (UTC)

: Good morning. Reusing this thread because he was back this morning with more abuse. Could an admin please hide [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=10%3A10_%28film%29&amp;action=revisiondelete&amp;type=revision&amp;ids%5B3078125%5D=1&amp;ids%5B3078123%5D=1&amp;ids%5B3078119%5D=1&amp;ids%5B3078096%5D=1 these abusive edit summaries]? Thanks, ---- [[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 15:27, 23 February 2022 (UTC)
::Wow, I've never seen this interface before. Thanks, M. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:06, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|UDScott}} GRP is now vandalising [[Talk:Death]]. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 16:19, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|UDScott}} could you revdel the abusive edits and edit summaries that GRP has left on this page? Thanks! [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 14:53, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
:: You might also want to semi-protect this page temporarily. [[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝟙𝟤𝟯𝟺𝐪𝑤𝒆𝓇𝟷𝟮𝟥𝟜𝓺𝔴𝕖𝖗𝟰]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝗍𝗮𝘭𝙠]]) 15:11, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
::: Make that indefinitely. There is no stopping this vandal unless he is dealt with and banned from the Internet by the proper authorities. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 15:20, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
:::: I suppose, though this particular vandal is unlikely to stop and will just find another page to attack. [[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝟙𝟤𝟯𝟺𝐪𝑤𝒆𝓇𝟷𝟮𝟥𝟜𝓺𝔴𝕖𝖗𝟰]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝗍𝗮𝘭𝙠]]) 15:22, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
::::: He can try, but he will only end up in serious, unavoidable trouble. This is why I think only registered users should edit on WMF. Vandals easily take advantage of IP addresses. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 15:31, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
:Today's target: [[War]]. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 06:30, 1 March 2022 (UTC)
::Now at [[Talk:War]]. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 15:34, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
:Now at [[Talk:Memorial Day]]. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 12:59, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
:Now at [[Fulton J. Sheen]]. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 05:26, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
::Now attacking [[Torture]]; a massive revert war is going on there between GRP on proxies and several vandal fighters. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 04:45, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
== [[Special:Contributions/I like to say i'm blue, but i'm also a world|I like to say i'm blue, but i'm also a world]] constantly vandalizing pages: ==

Hello, could an admin please block for this user for constantly vandalizing pages and [[Special:Diff/3091251|making useless redirects]] to random pages? Thank you. [[User:DarkMatterMan4500|DarkMatterMan4500]] ([[User talk:DarkMatterMan4500|talk]]) 13:31, 25 March 2022 (UTC)

:Account has been locked; a nuke is needed now. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 18:25, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
::That's {{done}}. Noticed they went onto simplewiki and nuked the pages there but didn't notice here. Thanks {{u|JavaHurricane}} and {{u|DarkMatterMan4500}}. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:45, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
== 102.184.31.218 ==

Only made one edit, but you might wanna keep an eye on them to make sure they don't vandalize. [[Special:Contributions/2603:6080:A700:1C39:A07A:EE06:CF73:43EE|2603:6080:A700:1C39:A07A:EE06:CF73:43EE]] 17:22, 26 March 2022 (UTC)

:It was a WMF-banned editor, but they edited 12 hours ago and have probably moved onto another IP so blocking will probably not help anything. Thank you for the report though, and happy editing!--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:24, 26 March 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks for the cheers. I did not say to block them, just keep an eye on them. You never know. IPs can change over time. [[Special:Contributions/2603:6080:A700:1C39:A07A:EE06:CF73:43EE|2603:6080:A700:1C39:A07A:EE06:CF73:43EE]] 17:28, 26 March 2022 (UTC)
== This user keeps bugging me about restoring the 2010s and 2020s sections of the Horror film page on Wikipedia. ==

This user, CreepshowJollygiant, keeps bugging me about restoring the 2010s and 2020s sections of the Horror film page on Wikipedia. So could you please put a stop to this as soon as possible? [[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 15:46, 30 March 2022 (UTC)

: Now another user, 107.119.45.37, has just pestered me about the same thing, and something about being crooked and unsourced. Could you please do something about this right now? Here are the links to the users I’m talking about: [[Special:Contributions/107.119.45.37]], [[Special:Contributions/CreepshowJollygiant]]

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:AdamDeanHall&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3093031&amp;oldid=3092810&amp;diffmode=source
https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:AdamDeanHall&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3093108&amp;oldid=3093047&amp;diffmode=source

[[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 20:17, 30 March 2022 (UTC)

:I've blocked both the users involved. Thanks for reporting! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:58, 30 March 2022 (UTC)

== I am reporting a ban evasion. ==

This user, [[Special:Contributions/LeftyJuJu]], has a history of a ban evasion, and is linked to the other blocked accounts. Could you please block him as soon as possible? He keeps asking me over and over again to restore the 2010s and 2020s sections on the Horror film page on Wikipedia. [[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 02:50, 31 March 2022 (UTC)

:It's now been globally locked by stewards. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 06:26, 31 March 2022 (UTC)

== Request ==

Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Vladimir_Lenin&amp;action=history Talk:Vladimir Lenin]: LTA target. Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:12, 31 March 2022 (UTC)

:{{re|Mtarch11}} {{done}}, thanks --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 06:28, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
== Request (2) ==

Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Aleksandr_Solzhenitsyn&amp;action=history Talk:Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]: LTA target. Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 06:22, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} already but didn't see this. Thanks! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:24, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

== Request protection ==

My user talk page is currently the target of on-going harrassment by an LTA-sock. Thank you [[User:Thewolfchild|Thewolfchild]] ([[User talk:Thewolfchild|talk]]) 18:02, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Thewolfchild}}, seeing as you haven't edited much here and you've had to deal with a lot of LTA on your talk page, I've semi-protected your talk page for a whole year. Hope this helps. :) --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:14, 2 April 2022 (UTC)
::Should do. Thanks [[User:Thewolfchild|Thewolfchild]] ([[User talk:Thewolfchild|talk]]) 22:34, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

== I am reporting more ban evasions. ==

These users, [[Special:Contributions/107.122.97.40]] and [[Special:Contributions/166.205.141.44]], have a history of a ban evasion, and are linked to the other blocked accounts. Could you please block them as soon as possible? They keep asking me over and over again to restore the 2010s and 2020s sections on the Horror film page on Wikipedia. [[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 04:22, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
== [[user:AdamDeanHall]] edit warring at [[Return of the Jedi]] ==

&lt;s&gt;User has been repeatedly removing the iconic “it’s a trap” quote with little or no explanation. This can be seen at the top of the article history here: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Return_of_the_Jedi&amp;action=history The quote is supported by multiple editors (see last 2 sections of https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Return_of_the_Jedi) and there’s no mandatory quote limit ([[Wq:LOQ]] is not policy). I think this counts as disruptive editing. Recommend temporarily locking to this version: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Return_of_the_Jedi&amp;oldid=3084058 [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 02:52, 31 March 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;

Withdrawing as it seems to have resolved itself. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 08:45, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
== Protection request ==

Please protect [[Pope Benedict XVI]] because of repeated long-term abuse. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Trebuchet MS;&quot;&gt;[[m:User:EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#000;&quot;&gt;Ethan&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:EthanGaming7640#top|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#888;&quot;&gt;Gaming&lt;/span&gt;]][[Special:Contribs/EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;7640&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 14:06, 6 April 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:31, 6 April 2022 (UTC)
== [[Despicable Me (film)]] Still an edit war target ==

Requesting page protection [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 06:42, 8 April 2022 (UTC)
: Why not try starting a discussion on the talk page first? [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 14:47, 8 April 2022 (UTC)

::I have already made my feelings known regarding this page (see [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#Seeking_admin_input|discussion]] from March above). At that time, I asked for additional admin input, but really never received any. I would again ask on of the others to take a look at the history and offer some input before I again step into it. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:22, 8 April 2022 (UTC)
== Restoring the 2010s and 2020s-present section ==

Every user who has committed each and every ban evasion has kept asking me to restore the 2010s and 2020s-present section of the [[w:Horror film|Horror film]] page on Wikipedia. They have been doing this to me time and again, every chance they got. So could you please do something about this before another ban-evading user starts bothering me again? [[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 15:58, 3 April 2022 (UTC)

:Hi @[[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]], 
: 
:You have taken it upon yourself to remove messages, not only from your own user talk, but also from mine. Just wondering why? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 01:32, 12 April 2022 (UTC)
== Ian Kershaw ==

The article contains some blatant selective quoting from Kershaw's biography of Adolf Hitler. For example, it lists two quotes from a paragraph on page 412:
*For Catholics—the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933—Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement.
*On the nationalist-conservative Right… Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies.

The full paragraph says:
:For the Socialist and Communist left — with only minor differences between them in this regard — Hitler was portrayed as the hireling of big capitalism, the front-man for the imperialists, the political strike-force of the enemies, of the working class. Such views were to persist after 1933 in the left-wing underground resistance organizations, the underestimation of Hitler they contained hindering clear perceptions of the ideological dynamism of Nazism. For Catholics — the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933 — Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement. In Protestant church-going circles, impression of Hitler varied. Some looked to the dangers of a neo-heathen movement which had roused the base instincts of the masses. Others saw the potential, at a time when church attendance was dwindling and moral and religious values were allegedly being undermined, of Hitler's 'national renewal' bringing in its wake ethical and religious revival. On the nationalist-conservative Right, the relatively sympathetic treatment of Hitler at the time of the Young Plan Campaign had given way to hostility. Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies. Against these negative images had to be set the adulation of the third of the population that, despite the setbacks of summer and autumn, still saw in Hitler the only hope for Germany's future.

I tried to remove the selectively-used quotes, but get this error message:
:This action has been automatically identified as harmful, and therefore disallowed. If you believe your action was constructive, please inform an administrator of what you were trying to do. A brief description of the abuse rule which your action matched is: GRP
Can you fix this? [[User:Anywikiuser|Anywikiuser]] ([[User talk:Anywikiuser|talk]]) 18:28, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:I have disabled the filter temporarily while I try to find a fix.--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:29, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
== Legacy of banned user User:Libraryclerk0191 ==

Consider for example the article [[Ukraine]], a favorite target of User:Libraryclerk0191. &lt;s&gt;Search [[Ukraine]] for the word &quot;NATO&quot; (as in &quot;NATO expansion&quot;) -- 44 results.&lt;/s&gt; Hmm. 

Another top target was [[2021–2022 Russo-Ukrainian crisis]], although that has been significantly improved since {{u|Rauisuchian}} listed some of its problems, for example, &quot;cherrypicked routine reporting (not notable quotes),&quot; &quot;promotional links/blogspam ,&quot; &quot;pro-Kremlin stances that are so duplicated and given such weight that it is contrary to reliable sources, etc., and no longer informative to see what the Russian state position is when it's such a large portion of the article.&quot;

LC's [[Special:Contributions/Libraryclerk0191 |contribution history]] pinpoints articles that are important to Russian disinformation. I put a couple on my watchlist to improve, and I hope others take a look and do the same. 

To clarify, I am enthusiastic about articles including quotes from a wide range of viewpoints. But Wikiquote should not be used as free advertising for fringe thinkers published by questionable sources like [[w:MintPress News]] and [[w:unz.com]]. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:16, 9 April 2022 (UTC)
: Update, I removed a lot of the POV-pushing from [[Ukraine]] and added some quotes from notable historians and authors who have said interesting things about Ukraine. But LC already has some successors pushing his same POV in his same favorite articles, citing his same favorite fringe unreliable sources. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:35, 10 April 2022 (UTC)

::Agree, for the last several weeks at least there's a POV-pushing campaign running largely unchecked here. It's anti-western, anti-US, pro-Russian, and is hitting from both far right and far left. Some of the theme pages are just coatracks for anti-US propaganda. Have a look at [[war crimes]] for an outrageous example (is the US the worst committer of war crimes in history? sure looks like it from that page.) 
::{{u|HouseOfChange}} -- excellent job adding, cleaning up, restoring balance -- thank you. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 03:52, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
:::Hi@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] @[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]]
:::It is not clear to me what it is you agree with:
:::* &quot;for the last several weeks at least there's a POV-pushing campaign running largely unchecked heree&quot;
:::AND that:
:::* &quot;Banned&quot; [[User:Libraryclerk0191]] is the one responsible for this &quot;campaign&quot;?
:::Is  Libraryclerk0191 indeed responsible for this campaign? -- I don't know and have not spent the time to figure it out. I do believe though that we should not discuss the contributions of those who have been silenced without hearing their side of the story. I think? Any comments? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:32, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{re|Ottawahitech}} After finding Libraryclerk0191 in the page history of several problem articles, I checked to see if his [[Special:Contributions/Libraryclerk0191 |contribution history]] would pinpoint problem articles I hadn't seen. And, it did. That's not the same as calling LC &quot;responsible&quot; for the ongoing campaign in those articles. '''The stone mason who put up headstones showed us where the dead are; is he &quot;responsible&quot; if someone dies next week?''' I care about problem articles, not about blame. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 04:48, 12 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|HouseOfChange}} Thank you for helping to address this problem, great work on the cleanup. 
:There are lots of POV pushing campaigns that have or will become more obvious, and suspected astroturfing takes time from volunteer editors who have to address reverting that fringe content rather than revising and adding new notable content.
:One thing I suggested earlier was an automated removal of all [[w:unz.com]] quotes (as cited on Wikipedia, &quot;The website has been criticized by the Anti-Defamation League as hosting racist and antisemitic content, and the Southern Poverty Law Center which has labeled it a white nationalist publication.&quot; and the site is deprecated on [[w:WP:RSPSOURCES]]). Removal of this fringe source -- quotes from which, have neither historical notability nor secondary source notability -- would go a long way. There are multiple pages of Wikiquote results for &quot;Unz Review&quot;. Its presence on an article is a potential red flag to look for other questionable sources being used and added by the same editors.
:Like you said &quot;Wikiquote should not be used as free advertising for fringe thinkers published by questionable sources&quot;. Along these lines, we could consider an equivalent of [[w:WP:ELNO]] for external links  here as well for article quality. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 04:15, 12 April 2022 (UTC)

=== Similar edits === 
&lt;!-- broken up for readability... feel free to edit this header --&gt;

: Props to admin {{u|Ferien}} and others for maintaining Wikiquote and fighting vandalism. Looks like {{u|Alphabravo2022}} was also blocked as a response to Libraryclerk0191 abusing multiple accounts. AlphaBravo2022's [[Special:Contributions/Alphabravo2022|contributions page]] is another data point in seeing which edits are potentially POV pushing. 

: Separately (probably not the same &quot;individual&quot; but who knows) another editor fervently restoring &quot;Unz Review&quot; links has been detected: this IP user [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E|2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E]], similar IPv6 address as a wave of correlated editors adding same fringe sources on the far right side. If admins with block abilities could review that user, that would be excellent. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 12:18, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::: Agree, and note [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDB1:C600:4D8C:A964:F53B:51C]] and [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:7823:E32D:D7B5:5EDE]] are also up to no good here, as is another IP in Australia [[Special:Contributions/121.221.66.226]] with the same targets. Note that [[Charlottesville car attack]], [[Waukesha parade attack]], and [[Darrell Edward Brooks]] are repeat targets for hateful POV-pushing, with ZERO examples of &quot;quotations which are notable.&quot; [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:16, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:: More interesting data points and correlations. Some folks on Discord noticed previous blocked users and IP ranges that appear similar to the current troll accounts.

:: The original sockmaster of the pro-Russia POV accounts could be [[User: Om777om]] ([https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/Om777om&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=Om777om contributions]) based on an initial trolling wave in 2019. The pattern of edits looks very similar.

:: Additionally, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=2001%3A8003%3ADDAA%3A5A00%3AAC93%3ACDBC%3A7BC8%3A319E%2F64 one Australian IPV6 range] posts consistently far-right, racist, and anti-Semitic content and anti-vaccine misinformation. Editor indicated by that IPv6 range appears to have a history going back to 2019 or earlier. These correlations might be useful for admins to look at. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 13:13, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:: Two IPv4 ranges, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/1.152.108.86/24&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=1.152.108.86%2F24 here] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/1.136.104.177/24 here] may be the same fringe far-right editor as the Australian IPv6 range above. This is shown by the [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Abigail_Thorn&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;action=history revision history of the Abigail Thorn article] where the same &quot;The Grayzone&quot; content is added by these IPs in an edit war. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 13:51, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

==== IP block requests ====

: {{Ping|Ferien}} and others with block abilities: I am requesting blocks of this IPV6 range: [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=2001%3A8003%3ADDAA%3A5A00%3AAC93%3ACDBC%3A7BC8%3A319E%2F64 2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64] Contribution history shows POV pushing and spamming far right external links. More detail above, but the contribution history is self evident. Thank you. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 09:06, 14 April 2022 (UTC).
:: My edits are fine. Anything rauisuchian thinks is &quot;Extreme&quot; he wants reverted. [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:C469:22F4:BE68:2A79|2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:C469:22F4:BE68:2A79]] 09:36, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
::I second this. This individual is edit warring across multiple pages and adding far right and homophobic material.--[[User:C.J. Griffin|C.J. Griffin]] ([[User talk:C.J. Griffin|talk]]) 05:02, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
== Removing external links on Wikiquote that Wikipedia marks as deprecated or spam ==

Hello Wikiquote admins,

Several of the sites which Wikipedia's [[wikipedia:WP:RSPSOURCES|perennial sources noticeboard]] has deprecated or marked as spam, are cited widely on Wikiquote. For example, the conspiracy site &quot;Global Research&quot; (marked spam on Wikipedia) and the far-right &quot;Unz Review&quot; (marked deprecated on Wikipedia) bring up numerous results on Wikiquote. This includes external links to the fringe sites, and large passages of quotes from relatively non-notable or fringe sources. This probably also applies to other sites on the noticeboard but these are two obvious ones.

Can these links be removed from Wikiquote in all or almost all cases? Additionally, the quotes are usually undue weight. It is questionable that the viewpoint of a relatively non-notable extremist or fringe commentator (e.g. not notable enough to have their own article) actually have to be included. Reliable secondary sources would usually discuss the quote if it was notable enough to include.

Wikiquote could really be helped out by a bot that removes external links to sites that are marked spam on Wikipedia, that's the only thing the bot would have to do at first and would fix major problems. (Apologies if I have misrepresented or not been aware of existing anti-spam efforts on the part of the admins. If so, correct me.)

As a first step, perhaps Wikiquote could copy Wikipedia's spam denylist, and if the exceptions are few enough, they should be able to be removed by hand from the copied denylist. What do you think?

Thanks, [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 05:44, 20 March 2022 (UTC)

: I agree, and here is the list of  [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Deprecated_sources Wikipedia:Deprecated sources]. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:22, 9 April 2022 (UTC)

:: Thanks, the list of deprecated source is useful and a bit more direct than just the RSPSOURCES. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 06:28, 12 April 2022 (UTC)

=== Specific problematic sources ===

: [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Rauisuchian&amp;diff=3101317&amp;oldid=3099499 Ottawahitech had questions about] this section and point on my talk page, which I have re-directed here.

:The original questions by [[User:Ottawahitech]] were:
 
::''&quot;I saw your post on WQ-AN about the [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard#Removing external links on Wikiquote that Wikipedia marks as deprecated or spam|Unz Review]]. I did not repond there becuase you addressed your post to WQ-Admins, which I am not.''
 
::''I would be interested in what you have to say on this topic, though. I did a search to see how wide-spread the use of unz is on WQ and found only 31 pages that had one quote which used unz as a source for the quote. I am not sure this causes a widespread npov problem at WQ, but I really cannot be sure.''
 
::''I checked one such page: [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and I have to say that the quote from Unz seemed much more tame to me than some of the other quotes. What is your take on Jeffrey Epstein? Thanks in advance,&quot;''
 
::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Rauisuchian&amp;diff=3101317&amp;oldid=3099499 Link diff] by [[User:Ottawahitech]]

: I said &quot;This should really go on the Noticeboard still, because it is a discussion of a proposal there, a proposal which relates to the admins.&quot; 

:  {{ping|Ottawahitech}} As was pointed out in this noticeboard and edit summaries, unz is [[w:WP:DEPSOURCES|WP:DEPRECATED]] on Wikipedia for various reasons including antisemitic content, copyright violations, and featuring [[w:WP:FRINGE|fringe]] bloggers as article writers. In addition to the link to it in the [[w:WP:DEPSOURCES|deprecated sources chart]], check the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Reliable_sources/Noticeboard/Archive_356#The_Unz_Review discussion leading to it being deprecated by unanimous consensus]. One of the editor comments was: &quot;Unz is platform open for to any crank seeking to promote the very fringe of the fringe of racist and pseudoscientific beliefs&quot;. This is why I believe, very similarly to that discussion, that we should not be putting quotes from it everywhere. Wikipedia points out with sources that the website [[w:unz.com]] has been criticized by the Anti-Defamation League as hosting racist and antisemitic content, and the Southern Poverty Law Center which has labeled it a white nationalist publication. Thus Unz is one of the lowest quality sources possible. There is no reason to quote it unless absolutely necessary and that has not been demonstrated.

: The reason there are fewer articles using unz as a source is... because we have been removing them. By we, I mean everybody who mentioned this on the noticeboard, plus various maintaining editors (I noticed a few admins helping with reverts) who also noticed POV pushing/edit warring/vandalism by Unz-adding IPs and users/socks, reverting edit wars by those socks. (Those sockpuppets, such as [[User:GaneshaSis|GaneshaSis]] and [[User:Libraryclerk0191|Librarycler0191]] and others, were all confirmed on the Noticeboard by observers, and by admins on their block pages, to be socks.) Before, there were many results for “Unz Review” in the search results. There are still too many, virtually all that remain are not notable quotes on top of being from unreliable sources and should be removed. There are currently 28 citations remaining which is likely still too much, considering the low notability and fringe nature of the source.

: ''“I checked one such page: [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and I have to say that the quote from Unz seemed much more tame to me than some of the other quotes. What is your take on Jeffrey Epstein?”'' There are so many possible sources we could use to illustrate the evil of Epstein with notable quotes, that there is no need to add external links to deprecated sources on the article. Epstein’s crimes were widely discussed in mainstream reporting, despite what fringe sources say about it supposedly not being covered. Rather there are many investigative journalists that could be cited instead, especially contentious aspects like intelligence connections or conspiracy theories about his death. Generally “quotes about” should be by people with their own Wikipedia article or in publications with their own article in reliable sources. Previously in that article [[w:Zero Hedge]] was needlessly cited when [[w:Bloomberg News|Bloomberg News]] was available, currently there are “Quotes about” from [[w:MintPress News]] -- which is also [[w:WP:DEPSOURCES|WP:DEPRECATED]] by [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Reliable_sources/Noticeboard/Archive_268#RfC:_MintPress_News this discussion] which concluded false or fabricated information was published by it -- as well as the Unz Review. One of the sockpuppets, GaneshaSis, appears heavily in the revision history adding fringe citations. Once again, the function of Wikiquote is to include notable quotes, but some of these bloggers are just too small and fringe to be citing for due weight. This applies to any article that has had deprecated sources placed in by those sockpuppets. For something specific go to the talk page of that article. 

: The overall point is that Wikipedia deprecated sources should also be so on Wikiquote, unless they are exceedingly notable quotes and in all the recent cases of removals and examples mentioned yet, no such exception has been found. Thanks. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 18:16, 20 April 2022 (UTC)
:: Thanks to {{ping|Rauisuchian}} for identifying the problem that the sock team not only pushed conspiracy theories at Wikiquote but also pushed links to conspiracy-promoting websites, where (if our users followed such a link), they would be exposed to [https://www.influencewatch.org/person/ron-unz/ evenworse material]. And thanks to {{ping|Ottawahitech}}for flagging the many problems at [[Jeffrey Epstein]], aside from outbound links. I tried to improve that article, explaining my work on its talk page. Only in the most unusual circumstances should the &quot;specialness&quot; of a quote from a [[w:WP:DEPSOURCES|WP:DEPRECATED]] source overcome the downsides of sharing such links here. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 01:55, 21 April 2022 (UTC)
== Suggested revision for  &quot;Welcome Newcomers&quot; section: ==

This is being posted with sincere best wishes &amp; hopes that this will prove to be helpful to this project. Suggest that the text on the welcome newcomers page be updated for the sake of '''honesty'''.  Suggestions follow excerpts of the actual text, and are in bold &lt;BR&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Welcome,_newcomers]] 
{{collapse top}}
===Welcome Newcomers===

===Editing===
*Anyone can edit pages on Wikiquote, including this one — just select the Edit this Page link on the top or bottom of this page if you think it needs improvement. You don't need special credentials, you don't even need to be logged in....A simple way to start helping is just to use Wikiquote as you would any other dictionary of quotations, but when you spot a problem—a spelling mistake, perhaps, or an unclear sentence, then go in and fix it. Be bold in updating pages - if you can see a way of improving a page, just do it...

====Suggested additional Text for Editing section====
'''*Newcomers should bear in mind that WQ is increasingly resembling a [[police state]] characterized by [[Anti-intellectualism]]. Newcomers who want to post quotes from comic books, b grade horror movies &amp; novels, [[Mainstream media|MSNBC, CNN, or Fox news]] without touching any [[Controversy|controversial]] issues, you should be fine.  However, if you dare to be [[bold]] in updating pages (as the welcome suggests) and if one or more admins don't like your contributions, chances are you will be banned  from WQ without a single warning, prior discussion, or hearing.&lt;BR&gt;The length of your ban will apparently depend on how the admin feels at the time... your banishment could be for a week, a year or even forever.  Apparently the banishers are not following any rules, other than perhaps their own dodgy thoughts or commands from someone(?) that apparently lead them to believe that they must maintain the status quo, prevent critical thoughts or the publication of thoughts from notable people who dare to think outside the box, and that they should never tolerate others who question the authorities, or some such... who knows what goes on in their minds? ;-). We should assume that they mean well and they probably do, based on their level of education and life experience. &lt;BR&gt;&lt;BR&gt;While most of the admins here come across as reasonable, helpful, cooperative &amp; pleasant, there are some admins who apparently stay in the dark, in the background- who come across as very hardheaded &amp; coldblooded diehard supporters of the old views that say might makes right,  anti-intellectualism is best, &amp; that rules are for others only, not them. &lt;BR&gt;They are allowed to behave as one person judges, juries &amp; executioners, and they apparently report to no-one. Of course those admins support each other.&lt;BR&gt; They routinely force their POVs thru their banishments on others here and sadly, none of the otherwise pleasant &amp; cooperative admins complain when they do. &lt;BR&gt;&lt;BR&gt;New comers should be warned that Wikiquote's promotional text about what a great place wikiquotes is to work, is sadly only window dressing.  It can be good place to do volunteer work, but ONLY IF ALL the admins approve of ALL of your work; and if they don't approve, newcomers should not expect any warnings. They'll let you know by kicking you out based on their POV.:-) &lt;BR&gt;A good number of hardworking, volunteers have spent many hours here with all the best intentions/energy to help move this project forward, only to find that one of the admins banned them arbitrarily, without what most reasonable people would call a &quot;[[Justice|just]] cause&quot; or good reason. There are words for that behavior, of course.  &lt;BR&gt;Newcomers are encouraged to remember that we live in a world that presently is run by what many call  &quot;the best people that money can buy&quot;. Hopefully at least some of the newcomers will know that the best people cannot be bought. That should be born in mind here &amp; everywhere else, especially in the western world.
*Newcomers are also encouraged to remember that all the admins are only temporary workers. Eventually, ALL the admins whose behavior gives WQ a bad reputation, will surely be replaced by admins who are truly  honest, justice oriented, diplomatic leaders. '''

* Re:  '''Newcomers who want to post quotes from comic books, b grade horror movies &amp; novels, MSNBC, CNN, or Fox news without touching any controversial issues, you should be fine. However, if you dare to be bold in updating pages (as the welcome suggests) and if one or more admins don't like your contributions, chances are you will be banned  from WQ without a single warning, prior discussion, or hearing'''.
:why do you say this (not sure who posted this, but I am unable to respond via the reply tool [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:42, 22 April 2022 (UTC)

===Writing Section ===
*Editing our existing set of knowledge is great, but we'd like you to contribute your knowledge too. You can start a brand-new page, or find an existing page and add an entirely new section to it. Don't worry too much about making mistakes—if you do get something slightly wrong, then you, or anyone, can always fix it later...

====Suggested additional Text   Writing section====
*'''Newcomers: If ANY of your  contributions happen to displease one of the admins, don't expect them to discuss it with you or give you any warnings.  You should expect to be kicked off the set (blocked) for a year or forever, with out any warning or discussion whatsever, despite your best intentions and naive  hope/belief, that if your contribution(s) were not ok with the admins, that they would have the decency/civility to discuss/advise you, and give you a chance to make suggested changes.   ''' 


===Good Faith rule===
* https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Assume_good_faith
*To assume good faith is a fundamental principle on Wikiquote. In allowing anyone to edit, we must assume that most people who work on the project are trying to help it, not hurt it. If this weren't true, a project like Wikiquote would be doomed from the beginning. When you can reasonably assume that a mistake someone made was a well-intentioned attempt to further the goals of the project, correct it without criticizing. When you disagree with people, remember that they probably believe that they are helping the project. Consider using talk pages to explain yourself, and give others the opportunity to do the same. This can avoid misunderstandings and prevent problems from escalating. Good faith is obviously not bad faith.

====Good Faith rule: Suggested additional text ====
'''*But newcomers, beware that while there are some admins who apparently follow the assume good faith rule, there are some who assume bad faith and when they do  you may suddenly be banned without any warning and probably be given negative labels - which is a violation of one of the other rules:
[[Wikiquote:No_personal_attacks|No_personal_attacks]]  
'''
=== No Personal attacks===
*https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:No_personal_attacks 
*Don't do it[edit]There is no excuse for personal attacks on other contributors. Do not make them.

====Personal attacks - suggested additional text====
*'''But newcomers, please note that it  is viewed as being ok here for some of the admins to disregard that rule if &amp; when they feel like it  &amp; to make derogatory comments about editors whenever they want to, and to ignore other editors (who they like) whenever they also make personal attacks.'''  
&lt;HR&gt;&lt;BR&gt;
**that's all for now. 
{{collapse bottom}}
*We sincerely hope this feedback will help more see facts (reality) of the situation as some other see it.
**LibraryClerk0191

*'''The real struggle is not between the right and the left but between the party of the thoughtful and the party of the jerks.'''
**[[Jimmy Wales]] 

*Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed.  
**[[William Faulkner]]

:::In opposing a sockpuppet battalion using lying and deception to force their POV on Wikiquote, we are most definitely raising our voices for honesty and truth, so there's that. Thank you Mr. Faulkner. And I can add this bit from ''The Sound and the Fury'': &quot;...and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.&quot; We're not trying to &quot;win&quot; anything, O mighty sockpuppeteer -- we're trying to create a complete and neutral-point-of-view collection of quotes. If you come in good faith you can edit. But not this way. There's nothing &quot;good faith&quot; about making multiple accounts to present the illusion of being multiple people. Nothing. Ever. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 23:11, 23 April 2022 (UTC)
== When are userpages deleted on WQ and when are they not? ==

Every once in a while I discover users who have had their userpage deleted. It is not always done at a user's request (it happened to me a long time ago on a wmf-sister website), and the public reasons recorded by the deleting admin are sometimes ambiguous, if present at all.

I wonder about this because I have noticed quite a large  turnover of admins at WQ, and some admins who treat WQ as a secondary, or even as a stepping stone, residence. Am I the only one here  worried about the loss of community-memory? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:46, 23 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Ottawahitech}}, user pages are only deleted if a user requests it or if it is pure spam. We don't get very many user pages used for vandalism often but if a page was just created for vandalism, it will also be deleted.
:With your second point, Wikiquote is not my home wiki (so you might say I count as one of those admins you are talking about) but I don't intend to delete random things and I don't think that's the case with anyone else. I can't see any admin here deleting a page for the hell of it, so I don't think you have to worry about old user pages being lost. Regards, --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:55, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
== Clean up on Aisle Five ==

[[File:Naura Hayden 1959 promo.jpg|thumb|Every major U.S. war  of the last several decades has begun the same way: the U.S. government fabricates an inflammatory, emotionally provocative lie which [[Mainstream media|large U.S. media outlets]] uncritically treat as truth while refusing at air questioning or dissent, thus inflaming primal anger against the country the U.S. wants to attack... ~ [[Glenn Greenwald]]]] Sorry for the horrible image. I've recently seen it a lot, because it's a favorite of one POV-pushing editor who has added it here to lots of different articles.

By an abuse of multiple accounts, that POV-pushing editor has succeeded in disguising the extent of his solo contribution to many articles. He/she/they used Wikiquote to push pro-Kremlin, anti-Ukraine, anti-Israel, and anti-US editorializing, presented as &quot;quotes.&quot; 

For example&quot;  [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=International_law&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3075989&amp;oldid=2757371 edits between March 2020 and Feb 17, 2022]  to the article [[International law]]. Quite the slant in those edits. Now take a look at the account names below (shown with their date of creation) all now blocked for being &quot;run&quot; by the same person. 

* [[Special:Contributions/GaneshaSis]]	(First edit made 10 January 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/EarthLibrarian]]	(19 January 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/Will-SeymoreIII]]	(21 January 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/Libraryclerk0191]]	(7 February 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/WeNotMeC020]]	(23 March 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/Alphabravo2022]] 	(24 March 2022)
* [[Special:Contributions/Alicia-abdula-mcdonald]]	(27 March 2022)

Now take a look at the [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=International_law&amp;action=history page history of International law] and notice that every single edit made between March 2020 and Feb. 17, 2022 was made by a single person, disguising his hand by using all those different usernames. 

Two years of hard work by this person left a mess needing cleanup. I have been trying, at [[2021–2022 Russo-Ukrainian crisis‎]] and [[Ukraine]]. [[War crimes]] and [[Brainwashing]] are two more I've tried to fix. I would welcome advice on how we as a project can tackle this problem. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:55, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:Oy veh, is my first response. I started to make a list this morning, of theme pages needing cleanup -- this list is incomplete (feel free to add to it!) -- most horrifying is that many of these theme pages were created by one of the (usually blocked) sockpuppets, and almost every subsequent edit is by the same person running one or another of the accounts listed above. This list does not include people, although it could. Strikes me that a WQ page on a right- or left-wing extremists is a logical place for extremist quotes, so -- maybe that's fine. But I don't think it's fine having pages like [[war crimes]] where absolutely every &quot;quote&quot; is an unquotable slab of babble about how the US and its cronies commit and have committed all the war crimes ever. I exaggerate, but not by much. Not by much. This is a mess.

* ''[[Allegation]]''
* [[Anti-intellectualism]]
* ''[[Big lie]]''
* [[Censorship]]
* ''[[Colonialism]]''
* [[Conscience]]
* ''[[Corruption]]''
* ''[[Cover-up]]''
* ''[[Cowardice]]''
* [[Denial]]
* ''[[Diplomacy]]''
* ''[[Fanaticism]]''
* ''[[Foreign policy of the United States]]''
* [[Freedom]]
* [[Genocide denial]]
* ''[[Hegemony]]''
* [[Hypocrisy]]
* ''[[Information Warfare Community]]''
* [[Integrity]]
* [[Leadership]]
* [[Mafia state]]
* ''[[Mainstream media]]''
* [[Mass media]]
* ''[[Misinformation]]''
* [[Nuclear power]]
* [[Philistinism]]
* [[Power]]
* [[Propaganda]]
* [[Reality]]
* [[Regret]]
* [[Rule of law]]
* [[Self-pity]]
* [[Sensationalism]]
* [[Truth]]
* [[Tyranny]]
* [[Utopia]]
* ''[[War]]''
* ''[[War crimes]]''

:Feel free to add, remove, revise. We could italicize them when done, or initial, or something. Some quotes are probably fine; I've been trying to look individually rather than just blanket revert, but -- what is the best way? [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 21:07, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:: {{re|Antandrus}} Closely related: articles that were created by, and predominantly edited by, these accounts:
*	''[[Big lie]]'' created by Will-SeymoreIII on March 2, 2022. 
*	''[[Chevron Corporation]]'' created by GaneshaSis, just a COATRACK for material denouncing its treatment of ''[[Steven Donziger]]'' -- not a real &quot;quote&quot; between them. I nominated both for deletion on April 14. 
*	''[[Cover-up]]'', ''[[Allegation]]'', and ''[[Misinformation]]'', created by Alphabravo2022 on April 5, April 6, and April 6 respectively.
*	''[[Global catastrophic risk]]'' created by Libraryclerk0191 on February 26, 2022 from a copy-paste of ''[[Nuclear weapons]]'', another article targeted by the team.
*	''[[Honduras]]'' created by Will-SeymoreIII, and it would be good to have an article about Honduras but this article is not about Honduras, it is just political POV-pushing
*	''[[Hysteria]]'' created by Libraryclerk0191 on March 10, 2022
*	''[[International Monetary Fund]]'' created by GaneshaSis
*	''[[Mafia state]]'' created by Alphabravo2022 on March 30, 2022, about half of which is quotes from [[Confessions of an Economic Hit Man]] (an article created by WeNotMeC020)
*	''[[Moral panic]]'' created by Will-SeymoreIII on March 12, 2022
*	''[[Mutual assured destruction]]'' created by Libraryclerk0191 on March 10, 2022
*	''[[Theodore Postol]]'' created by Alphabravo2022 on March 30, 2022 is taken entirely from one essay by Postol on the danger of nuclear war and very likely violates copyright law
*	''[[United States embargo against Cuba]]'' created by GaneshaSis
*	''[[United States sanctions]]'' created by GaneshaSis
:: It's hard to imagine a reader who wants a notable quote about Chevron or IMF or United States sanctions -- but if they did, those articles would not provide even one for them. Aside from [[Honduras]], these should be stubs or re-directs to a useful topic until/unless some helpful person creates a real article. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 01:34, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
::: Also trimmed ''[[Decadence]]'' and ''[[Scarcity]]'', 2 stubs created and inflated by Will-SeymoreIII. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:20, 20 April 2022 (UTC)

: {{Ping|HouseOfChange|Antandrus}} Thank you so much HouseOfChange and Antandrus for compiling these lists, this section is an excellent resource documenting the troll activity. The funny and sad part is I recognize seeing that exact image on several articles. As for notability of content, fully agreed on all points and there's not much else I've noticed yet, besides the same editors. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 09:23, 14 April 2022 (UTC)

:: {{Ping|Rauisuchian|Antandrus}} I nominated [[Steven Donziger]] and [[Chevron Corporation]] at [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]]. I think I did something wrong with the template, but I hope somebody there can fix it properly. I am going to put those article titles in italics, above, and if they get deleted I will use strike tags, assuming they work here. Step by step. And I got my taxes submitted as well. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 00:36, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:::I think the VfDs are correct now (haven't done this before on WQ). Congratulations on the taxes :) 

::: Update, I am going to add italics to article titles where I have tried to start fixing them. If others do the same, the articles that may need help will stand out a bit more. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:23, 16 April 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]]@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] @[[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]]: Shouldn't this discussion be taking place on the respective talk pages of the articles  mentioned above? Not all contributors of WQ read this noticeboard. If one wishes to involve the community in these discussions, one has to post where the community expects a discussion to take place. I think? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:38, 16 April 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;small&gt;Offtopic: @[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], in regards to your comment about taxes  above and since you said (through your edit summary): 
:::&lt;blockquote&gt; more italics, and yes, Easter is a holiday for me as well. Happy chocolate eggs to all who indulge!&lt;/blockquote&gt;
:::I thoght you will be pleased to find out that according to the website down detector the websites Taxslayer, Turbotax, IRS &amp; H&amp;R Block are right at the top of the charts for problems today, not only in North America but also in Europe, Asia , and more. I presume that means that:
:::# Many people around the world have to file taxes in the USA 
:::# Many people worldwide are not enjoying Easter, but instead are busy trying to get their taxes done [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:48, 17 April 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;

:::Update, I nominated at AfD a small set of the socks' articles, ones on topics unlikely to attract good quotes that function instead as fake Wikipedia articles, one-sided assertions presented as facts about their topics. See [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/FakeWikipedia]] if you want to comment. Adding italics to those articles listed above. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 22:52, 23 April 2022 (UTC)

::: Update, admin {{ping|BD2412}} suggested on my talk page that I make a talk page display of removed quotes. I went back to [[Propaganda]], where on April 25 i removed a lot of the socks' POV pushing including the screaming face and an utterly off-topic Abu Ghraib image. I added an explanation of each diff including ALL the removed quotes to the article talk page. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:46, 26 April 2022 (UTC)

=== Separate issue, requested block for white-nationalist IP ===
:::We still need a rangeblock on that IPv6 [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=2001%3A8003%3ADDAA%3A5A00%3AAC93%3ACDBC%3A7BC8%3A319E%2F64 2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64] from Australia. Any admins watching? {{ping|Ferien}}, can you help? That person pushes racist rubbish - [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Black_people&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3099510 this is typical]. &quot;Counter-currents.com&quot; is a white nationalist/white supremacist website, one of the ones trying to look respectable, like a set of freshly laundered KKK sheets. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:15, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
::::I've reverted more of the edits and blocked the latest incarnations of this user - but here is where I confess my technical limitations again (I am more of a content person than a technical one). I need some help regarding the necessary range block to better combat this situation. My knowledge and experience in these is rather limited (and in this case, it appears a bit more complex than usual). I have reviewed again [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Help:Range_blocks/IPv6 this page], but can anyone help provide some better guidance? ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:41, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::Hi {{Ping|UDScott}} -- I'm not an admin here, obviously, but if the syntax is like it is on enwiki (pretty sure it's identical) you should be able to click either on [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=2001%3A8003%3ADDAA%3A5A00%3AAC93%3ACDBC%3A7BC8%3A319E%2F64 2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64 here] and look for the &quot;block&quot; button, or  [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Block/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64 maybe try this] (I've formatted the enwiki block link to be usable here). [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 14:44, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|UDScott}}, TonyBallioni explains it much better on a Wikipedia essay - [[:w:WP:64]]. Blocking the /64 will usually block just one person, although if you're unsure whether it's one person from the contributions then you should just block the one IP. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:54, 15 April 2022 (UTC)

===  Who has Check User (CU) status on WQ? === 

I have been trying to follow the recent torrent of posts to this notice board without much success. One thing that has not been discussed is who at WQ has access to CU information.

I have included the  following text from  [[w:Wikipedia:CheckUser]]:

&lt;blockquote&gt;On the English Wikipedia, CheckUser access is entrusted to a restricted number of trusted users who can execute CheckUser inquiries at their own discretion. The permission is granted by Wikipedia's Arbitration Committee, after community consultation and vetting of the editor by the committee’s members and the functionary team. While there is no formal requirement that checkusers also be administrators, the Arbitration Committee has traditionally restricted applications to users who are currently administrators. Checkusers must be 18 years of age or older and have signed the Wikimedia Foundation's confidentiality agreement for nonpublic information before being appointed. The use of the CheckUser tool on the English Wikipedia is monitored and controlled by the Arbitration Committee, and checkusers may have their permissions revoked by the Arbitration Committee for misuse or abuse of the tool.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I would like to know if the same applies at WQ? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:47, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
: Nobody here has it. Our admins get help from the Wikimedia foundation if checkuser is needed here. It was checkuser done by those stewards that determined the misuse of multiple accounts we are now cleaning up from. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 16:28, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:(edit conflict) Good question. Looks like we [[Wikiquote:Requests_for_adminship#Requests_for_checkuser|do not have any current checkusers]], and &quot;Requests for checkuser actions can be made on the [[WQ:AN|noticeboard]] and a [[meta:Stewards|steward]] can be notified if needed.&quot; (As HoC indicates, we had help from stewards doing CU a couple days ago in unmasking the Libraryclerk sockpuppets listed above.) [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 16:30, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
* Yeah. We don't have it. It requires a majority support and at least 25 users in support in an election on a project without an ArbCom. We just don't have enough active users to get 25 supports in an election. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 18:36, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
::Although we used to have a couple in the past - but I don't think they are active users (or even still have it) any more. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:50, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|UDScott}}, indeed, [[Special:ListUsers/checkuser|we don't have any checkusers anymore]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:51, 15 April 2022 (UTC)

==== Comparison of ''privacy protection'' between Wikiquote ('''WQ''') and the English Wikipedia ('''ENWP''') ====

I guess everyone here agrees that  the '''WMF Stewards''' decide who is a socketpuppet at '''WQ''', not the '''WQ-admins''' who merely block the local sockpuppets?

If so, I guess the inhabitants of '''WQ''' have no say and do not enjoy  the same protections that are available  to those  who contribute to '''ENWP'''. What I mean by that is that sockpuppet investigations at '''ENWP''' are public and open  to  any member of the community who wishes to voice  an opinion. For example (thanks to [[User:Ferien]] for the following link): [[w:Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Pcmishradigital/Archive]]

Also it means that the privacy of all community members is protected by the community, not only by the few who are serving as '''Stewards'''? Thanks for your thoughts, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 19:38, 16 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{re|Ottawahitech}} People at Wikiquote can request and comment on checkuser requests made at [[:m:SRCU]]. In terms of privacy, as far as I'm aware, stewards do not go around checking community members' accounts unless a request is made at SRCU and there is good reason to suspect sockpuppetry, although I may be wrong. Stewards always work with the community, never against them, and most actions stewards take (global locks, global blocks, GS actions etc.) are supposed to be uncontroversial. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:07, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Ferien|Ferien]]: Thanks for responding, especially during Easter,  a holiday for many WQ contributors, I think?
::I wonder if you would be kind enough to provide pointers to readers who want to locate this particular check-user request on META-SRCU. I don't believe a direct link has been provided in any of the preceding posts(?).Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:20, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|Ottawahitech}}, there wasn't a checkuser request for this one, but the one user (Libraryclerk0191) was already blocked when the check was made and there were many accounts displaying very similar behaviour. And yes, Easter is a holiday for me. -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:25, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
::::&lt;small&gt;(Thanks @ Ferien, please feel free to finish your Easter in peace. The rest of this is directed  at the WQ community at large)&lt;/small&gt;
::::Here is what the [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=Libraryclerk0191&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers  block log] for Libraryclerk0191 currently says:
::::&lt;blockquote&gt;22:42, 11 April 2022 Ferien talk contribs changed block settings for Libraryclerk0191 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite ('''account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Harassment: also disruption w/ false information / suspecting Russian propaganda. Also found to be abusing multiple accounts''') Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit Advanced mobile edit&lt;/blockquote&gt;
::::In the interest of transparency and inclusiveness it should also include a META-CU request&amp;decision link, don’t you agree? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:54, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::These are sockpuppets of a user who has been adding pro-Russian propaganda since 2019, with cross-project concerns as well. I don't see what the issue is. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 19:38, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
::::::@[[User:Vermont|Vermont]],
::::::Yes I agree it is difficult to follow this topic as it unfolds here. Having said that may I ask a couple of questions: 
::::::* Are you speaking as a private individual or are you speaking as a spokesperson for all wmf-Stewards?
::::::* Do you feel that individuals who are involved in WQ &quot;editing&quot; are entitled to online privacy?
::::::* Do you believe that Wikiquotiens are not entitled to the same protections that are afforded to Wikipedians?
::::::* How do you know that &quot;These are sockpuppets of a user who has been adding pro-Russian propaganda since 2019, with cross-project concerns as well&quot;?
::::::Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:32, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Sure. 
:::::::*I am always speaking as a private individual, I do not speak on behalf of all Stewards. And Stewards are not part of or related to the WMF. We're elected by the community, as you know.
:::::::*Individuals who edit Wikimedia projects are entitled to data privacy. For specifics, please refer to the [[m:Privacy policy|Privacy policy]].
:::::::*Editors of Wikimedia projects are all subject to the same privacy policy.
:::::::*Because I ran a check, and because I am somewhat familiar with this contributor.
:::::::I hope this answers your concerns. Please let me know if there is anything else I can help clarify. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 21:48, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
::::: {{re|Ottawahitech}} (EC) I don't support adding new rules unless there's a problem the new rule would solve. I am grateful to {{u|Ferien}} for blocking the abusive sock and have zero problem with how Ferien did it. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:51, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
::::: So you guys are saying that a conclusion was made that all these accounts are sockpuppets '''without''' a checkuser investigation? In the interest of maintaining transparency and adhering to the Wikimedia standards, all communication based on which this was decided should be made public. - [[User:Emilijaknezevic|Emilija Knezevic]] ([[User talk:Emilijaknezevic|talk]]) 20:40, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::: {{re|Emilijaknezevic}} Nobody said that these blocks were made &quot;without a checkuser investigation.&quot; The checkuser was done, by a steward, on a small set of accounts identified as probable socks. &lt;small&gt;Why did people think they were socks? They repeatedly [[w:WP:IDENTICAL|edited the same articles]], often [[w:WP:OBSART|obscure ones]]. For example, on March 11, LibraryClerk creates a new article [[Hysteria]] and within 24 hours GaneshaSis and WeNotMeC020 [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Hysteria&amp;action=history LC edit there]. [[Honduras]] was created by one sock but [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Honduras&amp;action=history edited by 3 others as well].&lt;/small&gt; Checkuser exists to stop people from abusing multiple accounts. This person was abusing multiple accounts for more than a year, and in the process making Wikiquote notably worse. As far as I can tell, nobody other than {{u|Ottawahitech}} has complained about what happened or how it was done. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 21:55, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
::::::: I understand the interest in transparency. It's important (and ironically, this very thing was a theme with these sockpuppets, who babbled on and on about supposed lack-of-transparency, conspiracies, tails-wagging-dogs, nefarious plans by Global Evil Entities, governments hiding things, etc. etc.) -- however this is the way things go on small wikis that do not have the means to keep their own boards of checkusers, arbitrators, oversighters, and so forth. The bigger the project, the more bureaucratic it becomes. The smaller, the more free of bureaucracy -- and the more vulnerable to abuse. That's what happened here. When someone makes a sockpuppet battalion and gets away with pushing a POV for '''years''' (since 2019) before being caught, that's a ''catastrophe'' for an open project. A visitor to one of our sockpuppet-created pages is going to look at it and laugh -- ''this'' is NPOV? give me a break, they'd say -- for none of those pages were remotely NPOV! The pages screamed of an astroturfing campaign -- the socks pushed and pushed to make basic topics like [[war crimes]] about one thing and one thing only: alleged war crimes committed by one especially hated party.
::::::: As I see it, asking a trusted steward to do a checkuser on a band of screaming obvious socks was an essential and easy way to solve this. How else? Should we have attempted to set up a local checkuser facility first? Maybe so! There may be policy solutions we haven't tried yet. Do we need a global sockpuppet investigation page, on Meta, for smallish projects that don't have their own (i.e. not enwiki, dewiki, etc.)? 
::::::: Open to ideas. I just want to see Wikiquote better defended from POV-pushing campaigns. I think that's probably an important goal for us all. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 22:14, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
::::::::@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]], you said: '''As I see it, asking a trusted steward to do a checkuser was an essential and easy way to solve this'''
::::::::Are you suggesting that [[User talk:Ferien#Successful RfA|newly-minted]] WQ-admin @[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] did not follow his own advice to 
::::::::&lt;blockquote&gt;People at Wikiquote can request and comment on checkuser requests made at m:SRCU&lt;/blockquote&gt;
::::::::but instead  privately contacted his fellow simple-wiki-admin [[User:Vermont]] with a request to go on a fishing trip to identify '''a band of screaming obvious socks''' at WQ? 
::::::::Just trying to verify that this is what you said above, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:44, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{re|Ottawahitech}} Actually, it was the other way around. Vermont got in contact with me after noticing that these may be socks and then gave the account names to me to block. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 13:50, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
== GRP returns ==

and is vandalizing [[Deception]], [[September 11 attacks]], [[The Pentagon]], [[Hatred]], and [[User talk:EthanGaming7640]]. Stop him. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Trebuchet MS;&quot;&gt;[[m:User:EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#000;&quot;&gt;Ethan&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:EthanGaming7640#top|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#888;&quot;&gt;Gaming&lt;/span&gt;]][[Special:Contribs/EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;7640&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 13:48, 28 April 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:EthanGaming7640|EthanGaming7640]] Is this in regard to [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive/037#GRP_returns] ?
:Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:33, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
== [[m:Requests for comment/Global de-adminship for Jusjih]] ==

A user is requesting to &quot;global de-admin&quot; (sorry I really don't know how likely if this could be happened) {{ping|Jusjih}} which in requestor's claim, has many disruptive and abusive behaviors in several Chinese-language projects and Meta-Wiki, the requestor is also mentioned en.wikiquote here where Jusjih is also an administrator, but didn't say anything else on their en.wikiquote's behaviors. Do any of our adminships that may or may not familiar Jusjih's works know how to resolve it? --[[User:Liuxinyu970226|Liuxinyu970226]] ([[User talk:Liuxinyu970226|talk]]) 05:17, 29 April 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:Liuxinyu970226|Liuxinyu970226]], Thank you so much for bringing this discussion on Meta to the attention of those who read this busy notice-board. It is not often that we are informed by someone who is not a wmf-employee of events happening on other wmf-projects.
:I myself cannot participate on Meta where I am infinitely blocked (I am probably not unique), but I still appreciate being notified since the person being discussed (@Jusjih:) is also a WQ-admin. However, I would like to ask other participants here if it wouldn't be better to post this on the [[wikiquote:Village Pump|Village Pump]] for those who do not read this politics-noticeboard
:Do others here have an opinion they would like to share? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:10, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
:: {{re|Ottawahitech}} you can see the discussion by clicking on section title. There seems to be a dispute in some zh-wikis, where some of their admins complained about Jusijih, also an admin there, using this RfC. The general admin response to the complaint seems to be OFFS, with which I agree. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:22, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
:::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]],
:::Re: you can see the discussion
:::I know I can view the discussions on META. What I cannot do is participate.
:::Re:  RfC, OFFS
:::What do those mean - can you provide a link please
:::Re: [[User:Jusjih]] 
:::Jusijih is not an admin here on Wikiquote, but Jusjih is [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:00, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
:::: Re Jusjih/Jusijih, my bad spelling. RfC = Request for Comment, e.g. [[w:Wikipedia:Requests for comment]]. OFFS = &quot;Oh, for fuck's sake.&quot; I guess [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/FFS FFS] is more common. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 14:15, 5 May 2022 (UTC)

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== [[m:Requests for comment/Global de-adminship for Jusjih]] ==

A user is requesting to &quot;global de-admin&quot; (sorry I really don't know how likely if this could be happened) {{ping|Jusjih}} which in requestor's claim, has many disruptive and abusive behaviors in several Chinese-language projects and Meta-Wiki, the requestor is also mentioned en.wikiquote here where Jusjih is also an administrator, but didn't say anything else on their en.wikiquote's behaviors. Do any of our adminships that may or may not familiar Jusjih's works know how to resolve it? --[[User:Liuxinyu970226|Liuxinyu970226]] ([[User talk:Liuxinyu970226|talk]]) 05:17, 29 April 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:Liuxinyu970226|Liuxinyu970226]], Thank you so much for bringing this discussion on Meta to the attention of those who read this busy notice-board. It is not often that we are informed by someone who is not a wmf-employee of events happening on other wmf-projects.
:I myself cannot participate on Meta where I am infinitely blocked (I am probably not unique), but I still appreciate being notified since the person being discussed (@Jusjih:) is also a WQ-admin. However, I would like to ask other participants here if it wouldn't be better to post this on the [[wikiquote:Village Pump|Village Pump]] for those who do not read this politics-noticeboard
:Do others here have an opinion they would like to share? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:10, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
:: {{re|Ottawahitech}} you can see the discussion by clicking on section title. There seems to be a dispute in some zh-wikis, where some of their admins complained about Jusijih, also an admin there, using this RfC. The general admin response to the complaint seems to be OFFS, with which I agree. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:22, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
:::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]],
:::Re: you can see the discussion
:::I know I can view the discussions on META. What I cannot do is participate.
:::Re:  RfC, OFFS
:::What do those mean - can you provide a link please
:::Re: [[User:Jusjih]] 
:::Jusijih is not an admin here on Wikiquote, but Jusjih is [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:00, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
:::: Re Jusjih/Jusijih, my bad spelling. RfC = Request for Comment, e.g. [[w:Wikipedia:Requests for comment]]. OFFS = &quot;Oh, for fuck's sake.&quot; I guess [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/FFS FFS] is more common. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 14:15, 5 May 2022 (UTC)

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== Is having more than one name here really a Felony? ==

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Around two years ago, while reading the rules about wikiquotes/wikimedia,  it was noted that  any editor who uses more than one name, should have a good reason for that.  Apparently &amp; suddenly,  wanting to be anonymous, wanting to keep a low profile,  while sincerely trying to contribute to the project, while avoiding egotism, is in the view of  some admins, NOT a good reason.  If it is in fact a terrible felony, surely  it would help the project if that were  made clear from the start. {{Unsigned2| 17:06, 25 April 2022‎|66.190.126.146}}
: Another data point: A Wikipedia account busily [[w:Special:Contributions/Kalsarimyrkyttäjä| adding links to Wikiquote pages worked on by the socks]] is apparently itself [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth/Kalsarimyrkytt%C3%A4j%C3%A4 a sock of Risto hot sir]. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 20:14, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

::It is very comforting to know your superiors have all the answers, and have got you fixing everything up for everyone. Easier if we don't have to think for ourselves right? You should be warned that you are on the wrong side of history, your side is destined to be defeated. Truth will prevail &amp; all will come out in the wash.  Don't worry though, we don't believe in or tolerate torture or anything that goes against the rule of law. There's still time for you to put down your keyboard and go home. Our karmic records keep running til we learn all the lessons there are to learn &amp; pay all our debts. [[Special:Contributions/24.214.70.31|24.214.70.31]] 22:06, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
::: I feel sorry for you, but my goal here is to improve a project I believe in, creating a free compendium of notable quotations attached to their sources. 

::: But if [[Special:Contributions/66.190.126.146]] and [[Special:Contributions/24.214.70.31]] are posting on behalf of a permanently-blocked sock farm, it would be great if someone ACTUALLY stops those IPs from daily harassment here with nonsense edits. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 23:31, 26 April 2022 (UTC)

:::'''Support''' blocking IP socks evading a block and removing their edits. I know this isn't enwiki, where I have been an admin since 2005, and there are wiki-cultural differences between this small, pleasant project and that big bureaucratic one, but still -- this kinda needs to happen. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 23:41, 26 April 2022 (UTC)

:::: I just [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;curid=114956&amp;diff=3104100&amp;oldid=3104045 reverted vandalism here by another IP] treating this page as a playground [[Special:Contributions/156.210.190.90]]. It's a shame to waste admins' time on such nonsense, especially when we have so few. {{ping|Antandrus}} can we hand you a Wikiquote broom to go with the WP broom? [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:17, 27 April 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] why? or should I just say '''oppose''' without an explanation? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 04:00, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] -- Do you mean &quot;why do I think block-evading IPs or socks should be blocked&quot; or &quot;why should their edits be removed&quot;? ''If'' that is what you are asking, -- because blocking/banning has no point if we just let people evade their blocks and come back with a different IP address. It's like kicking a burglar out of your house and locking the front door, but leaving the side door open, and treating the returning burglar as a separate problem. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 16:35, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
::::::@Ottawahitech: It's also like a corrupt cop interfering with law abiding citizens because the dirty cop's got a bug up his butt. Just a few hundred years ago some of them were officials of the [[Inquisition|inquisiton]] who burned/executed people at the stake for having the audacity to question their supreme authority. They'll eventually grasp the fact that the old solutions are no longer working.  Til then, it looks like they're hanging on to [[denial]]! Bless their little hearts! [[Special:Contributions/47.48.129.234|47.48.129.234]] 17:57, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::*@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] &amp; others,
::::::Maybe I am just lucky, but I cannot think of any page on WQ where I saw edits by anyone that deserved a block. As far as socks are concerned, I don't really care what status someone has on other wmf-projects if  they are trying to be helpful. Its not like we have an abundance of willing bodies around here. To me every helpful person is precious because they are so few and far between. 
::::::My aim is to build up content, maybe not the way some of the others here want it built but, at least so far, I have not had the same kind of resistance to my &quot;edits&quot; that I  experienced on other wmf-projects. I believe that when one works with volunteers, one cannot order people around (unless you are at enwp :-) I personally find it an annoyance when the many who help me build content here are routinely blocked for some perceived offense. YMMV [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 01:06, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
:::::::@[[User:Ottawahitech]] -- I understand what you are saying, and agree with some of your points -- particularly that the community here is small (too small, in my opinion -- wish we could get more Wikiquoters/Wikiquotiens). However that particular person had no conception of [[WQ:NPOV]]. Usually newbies are trainable, and if you point them towards policies like NPOV they'll get it, and become better contributors. Worse, he ran a sockpuppet farm, and there was nothing innocent about it: it was deliberate deception. It's not like he forgot his password and needed to start new accounts now and then for any innocent reason -- those socks were ''designed'' to look like different people (one &quot;JulianVerdadCastro&quot; alleged to speak Spanish, another French, one pretended to be Indian and female, another had a US-military-sounding name, and so forth). That is dishonest, particularly maddening given that the person babbled on and on about &quot;truth&quot;. It's [[w:astroturfing]], to manufacture a false picture of many people supporting a POV. It was ONE PERSON. And he's still here, coming back again and again as IP socks. On enwiki he would have never have succeeded in running his sock campaign for more than two years, but that's what happens on small wikis. I was astounded when I first discovered his &quot;work&quot; -- entire theme pages filled top-to-bottom with OMG THE US IS THE MOST EVIL COUNTRY ON EARTH AND RUSSIA IS INNOCENT rubbish. The more I looked, the worse it got.
:::::::Don't get me wrong on this important thing: we do need some of these quotes, but we cannot fill up entire pages with them. You need balance. NPOV is the core issue in Wikimedia projects, and is non-negotiable (there's a Jimbo quote somewhere about this, and I agree with him). [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 01:50, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
::::::::@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]],  When you say: &quot;that particular person&quot; do you mean [[user:Libraryclerk0191]] who was, if memory serves, determined to be the sock-puppeteer leading a whole slew of other WQ sock-puppets, with the intent to deceive and provide misinformation (or is it disinformation?) to the masses who follow every word ever uttered on WQ? Is this the one who has been filling WQ with &quot;OMG THE US IS THE MOST EVIL COUNTRY ON EARTH AND RUSSIA IS INNOCENT rubbish&quot;?
::::::::More generally for those who, like both of us, agree that NPOV is necessary in order to create a useful resource: how can you achieve this goal when you have a social network (yes, this is what we have here) that silences (not necessarily by intent) those whose views are in the minority? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:23, 7 May 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::@[[User:Ottawahitech]] As far as I know we're not suppressing the person's ''views'' (yes, it's LibraryClerk). Anyone can add that stuff. He's blocked for sockpuppetting. He happens to have a rather strident extremist POV, which is how we noticed. I just don't see a way out of this one; if you have a sockpuppet policy you have to enforce it. Would WQ be better if we looked the other way and let him carry on? Seriously -- make the case and I'll listen, but I just don't think that's the way to achieve NPOV. We all have to be above-board, honest, and as aware of our own POVs as humanly possible. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:08, 7 May 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::As far as I know WQ does not have a '''sockpuppet policy'''. If we are following someone else's policy,  it is only fair to spell it out, don't you think? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:26, 7 May 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Interesting - our page on sockpuppetry is marked as an essay, but yet [[Wikiquote:Blocking_policy]] includes sockpuppetry as a reason to be blocked. Would like to hear from some actual admins on this -- maybe an inconsistency that's just never been fixed? [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:34, 7 May 2022 (UTC)

{{outdent}}@[[User:Ottawahitech]] The sockmaster edited here for years, and made many good edits as well as bad ones. He wasn't blocked for his POV, or for a few bad edits, however. Suppose he had used those socks to push the opposite POV &quot;OMG RUSSIA IS THE MOST EVIL COUNTRY ON EARTH AND THE US IS INNOCENT.&quot; That would have been equally wrong, and he would have been equally blocked once people caught on. He was using fake identities to pretend wide support for his views and, even worse from a policy POV, he kept on editing after being blocked. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Blocking_policy#CheckUser_blocks Getting unblocked is not impossible], but you have to make the case that you learned from your experience and won't do the same things wrong again. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 02:57, 4 May 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] Re: Getting unblocked is not impossible
:Not impossible, but most improbable (sorry I could not resist :-) [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 03:21, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
{{Collapse bottom}}
== Inappropriate user name ==

User [[User:CUMCUMCUMui]] has an inappropriate user name. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]]) 20:00, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
== Vandalism ==

on [[Talk:Pope Urban II]]. Page must be deleted. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Trebuchet MS;&quot;&gt;[[m:User:EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#000;&quot;&gt;Ethan&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:EthanGaming7640#top|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#888;&quot;&gt;Gaming&lt;/span&gt;]][[Special:Contribs/EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;7640&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 19:24, 13 May 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:EthanGaming7640|EthanGaming7640]]: Have you reported this on [[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress]]. Just curious. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:15, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
::I had not. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Trebuchet MS;&quot;&gt;[[m:User:EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#000;&quot;&gt;Ethan&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:EthanGaming7640#top|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#888;&quot;&gt;Gaming&lt;/span&gt;]][[Special:Contribs/EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;7640&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 23:06, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
:::May I ask why not? Your heading suggests that this post is related to vandalism, is it not? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:33, 15 May 2022 (UTC)
== Trying to post quotes to &quot;Reparations to Slavery&quot; ==

Are you intentionally blocking that page? When i try to post this notice comes up...&quot; This action has been automatically identified as harmful, and therefore disallowed.&lt;BR&gt;Please advise&lt;BR&gt;[[Special:Contributions/24.42.166.244|24.42.166.244]] 02:13, 18 May 2022 (UTC)

:Incorrectly flagged as GRP, maybe you used certain keywords? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]]) 02:51, 18 May 2022 (UTC)
::Maybe try creating an account. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]]) 03:53, 18 May 2022 (UTC)
:thanks 24.42.166.244, I just happened to see this so will have to keep this in mind and not edit [[RtS]]. There was a fascinating piece on 60-minutes relating to [[slavery]] that I am trying to fit into an existing page, but have not figured out where it fits best [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:17, 18 May 2022 (UTC)
{{outdent}} Can we please get a sock check on [[Special:Contributions/24.214.70.31]], because it looks like the blocked sockpuppeteer doing the same exact stuff as before. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 14:29, 18 May 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], Not everyone on this project follows closely everything related to the '''war on Socks'''. Can you be a little more specific: why are you asking for a sock check on 24.42.166.244 who contributed the opening remarks on this thread? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:33, 19 May 2022 (UTC)
:: {{re|Ottawahitech}} My comment, posted here on the Admin noticeboard was a request for an admin to take some action. There is no &quot;war on Socks&quot; aside from a wish among many people that the same person &quot;LibaryClerk&quot; who has repeatedly been blocked for making inappropriate edits at Wikiquote should not continue simply by taking a new username or using an IP or an open proxy. There is no crusade to remove that person's good edits or to blank their userpages. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 12:39, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
:::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], the '''war on socks''' has been going on for years, way before I joined WQ. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:08, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
== Account deletion ==

{{Qs|Can you please delete my account and reattribute all edits?}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) {DELETION IN PROGRESS} 06:08, 22 May 2022 (UTC)
== Madman in Bulldozer on Aisle Five ==

[[File:Bauhaus Marionette Nachbau Der-Bucklige-Frontal.jpg|thumb|the bulldozer operator?]]
:For anyone interested, it should be noted that &quot;HouseofChange&quot; is wildly pushing his (or a puppetmaster's?) POV. All the quotes bulldozed wrecklessly in bulk carte blanche, over the past couple of months  were ALL approved by the regular Admins here months ago. They made zero objections to the material and are  known to scrutinize everything posted here without delay. Suddenly a very loudmouthed newcomer arrived on the set, has over-ruled the judgement of the other admins, and is very heroically, loudly,  rescuing the entire project  from the diabolical work of a villain who slipped hundreds of quotations &amp; new pages into the system while the all guards were sound asleep? Really??!!  What a mystery.  Maybe the bulldozer operator and a few others, are working for corrupt elements of the U.S. Government, knuckleheads who hate the truth &amp; love censorhip, coverups and their skills in the art of deception [[Information Warfare Community|&quot;information dominance&quot;]]???? What happened?  Does wikipedia give refunds to extremely disappointed donors??  May fearful people quit being afraid. May everyone feel the peace that passes understanding.  May God help us all!
* It would probably be more helpful if you just dryly told us what the problem was instead of trying to be so supremely colorful. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 18:43, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

: He seems pretty neutral to me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]]) 02:05, 10 May 2022 (UTC)

: (EC) Nobody has called the sockmaster &quot;diabolical&quot; or a &quot;villain.&quot;  I am new here but I have been [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/HouseOfChange&amp;dir=prev&amp;target=HouseOfChange active at Wikipedia since 2014]. My edit history is clear and public. And unfortunately for the sockmaster, their combined edit history is also clear and public, although they tried to hide it by caping their views behind multiethnic identities. So LibraryClerk was the same person as GaneshaSis who was the same person as WASPy-sounding WillSeymoreIII. Military-sounding AlphaBravo2022 was the same person as triply-ethnic Alicia-abdula-mcdonald  (she was for a while giving edit summaries in French.) That's deception. And once LibraryClerk got banned but kept right on posting using other accounts, that's abusive sockpuppetry that gets editors blocked, per longtime policy. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:07, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], you say that your &quot; edit history is clear and public&quot;. but when I try to use Xtools to look at your contribution history I see &lt;blockquote&gt;This user has not opted in to have this data shown. Please either login to XTools as this user, or create User:HouseOfChange/EditCounterOptIn.js with any content. See the documentation for more information.&lt;/blockquote&gt; Would you pease allow wikiquotiens to see your contributions on this wiki by simply clicking '''Supercount''' at the bottom of your contributions page? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:19, 24 May 2022 (UTC)
::: What is public and plain is [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/HouseOfChange my contribution history]. (I can see yours and everybody else's that way.) I am not sure what privacy rights I'd be giving away by opting into making my edit counts public, so I don't plan to do that unless for some very good reason. I made very few edits to Wikiquote until this year, so it shouldn't be hard for people to analyze.  [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:16, 24 May 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]]The analysis of your edits through  Xtools on enwp is available for anyone to see. Are you saying that you trust enwp more than you trust enwq? if so, who is it that you trust less on wikiquote:
::::* Readers
::::* Users
::::* Admins
::::* Visitors from other wmf-projects such as Stewards, Global sysops, swmt members, renamers, etc.
::::* anyone else
::::Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 10:50, 25 May 2022 (UTC)

{{outdent}} I am here to help build WikiQuote, not for drama and personal interactions. I am not interested in continuing this discussion, or any other that doesn't directly bear on WikiQuote. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 12:06, 25 May 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], so am I. I  posted my question above because I believe it is very relevant to the health of Wikiquote. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 12:49, 25 May 2022 (UTC)

:: I disagree, and I have no intention of 1) changing my settings or 2) replying to your dramatic speculation about what my motivations might be. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:37, 25 May 2022 (UTC)

== &quot;LibraryClerk&quot; editing from IP ==

This IP is clearly a new sock of &quot;LibraryClerk&quot;: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/24.42.166.244

Could some admin please block this new sock that is evading LibraryClerk's block? Otherwise Wikiquote will continue to get edits such as [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Corruption&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3118813 this major POV push]. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 07:33, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
* I don't see that this account is registered on any project. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 10:35, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
** {{re|GreenMeansGo}} I should have given the full name,  [[Special:Contributions/Libraryclerk0191]]. I don't have a link to the  sockpuppet investigation but the aftermath was discussed [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive/037#Comparison_of_privacy_protection_between_Wikiquote_(WQ)_and_the_English_Wikipedia_(ENWP) here]. Apparently {{u|Vermont}} did a checkuser, because it looked as if LC191 was continuing to edit from other usernames.  Then {{u|Ferien}} blocked LC191's sock accounts identified from the sock check, IIUC. Please somebody block this IP who is CLEARLY the same person, from creating new clean-up problems. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 11:37, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 11:31, 31 May 2022 (UTC)

== Account deletion ==

I have decided to not delete my account, I would like my User Page undeleted, I will be un-redacting comments. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) {{Ds|{DELETION IN PROGRESS}}} 04:39, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 10:29, 1 June 2022 (UTC)

== Redirect request ==

Can someone please make [[☭]] redirect to [[communism]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:14, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
: A redirect from what? ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:56, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|UDScott}} From [[☭]] to [[Communism]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:58, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Ah, I see. However, this symbol is on the list of disallowed page titles. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:00, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} That’s why I’m asking for an admin to do it, it exists on Wikipedia. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:01, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:36, 5 June 2022 (UTC)

== Sockpuppet investigation ==

I think [[Special:contribs/221.120.208.175|221.120.208.175]] might be a Sockpuppet of [[User:GHOSTWORKER|GHOSTWORKER]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:03, 4 June 2022 (UTC)

{{Ds|No I donot Know him 221.120.208.175}}

: ??? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:41, 5 June 2022 (UTC)

== Link hijacking ==

Admins, do you check links for hijacking? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:49, 5 June 2022 (UTC)

:E.g.? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:36, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
::Like sending a link to malware or some kind of unauthorized Administrator/Bureaucrat action disguised as something else. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 5 June 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

&lt;s&gt;Could someone please revdel [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;oldid=3111786 this]?&lt;/s&gt; Edit: Done. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:01, 7 June 2022 (UTC)

== LTA horror decade sock strikes again ==

IP user 2600:387:15:630:0:0:0:8 is a LTA talk page vandal sock. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 01:49, 8 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:56, 8 June 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request (2) ==

Could someone please revdel [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Vandalism_in_progress&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3115216&amp;diffmode=source this]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:38, 10 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:10, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:25, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request (3) ==

Could someone please revdel [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Will_Smith&amp;oldid=3110155 this]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:04, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} Revdel should be reserved for particularly egregious material (doxxing, linking to spam, personal insults) and this edit is not that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:15, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

== Edit filter ==

{{ping|koavf}} Could you add &quot;VVKLOSER&quot; to the Edit Filter? (it's commonly used by GRP) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} {{u|Ferien}} Do you want to do this? You have a filter for this abuser and I think you could incorporate it into that one. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:18, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
::{{u|Koavf}}, yep, I'll take a look at that now, probably not too difficult to do. The filter itself is mainly a copy of simplewiki's as his behaviour is almost identical here. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:24, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:28, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Well it doesn’t seem to be working: VVKLOSER VVKLOSER VVKLOSER VVKLOSER. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:43, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Page protection may be needed ==

[[Bubble Guppies]] is being repeatedly recreated with no quotes, page protection may be needed. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:32, 14 June 2022 (UTC)
:Also the same keeps happening with [[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]]. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 00:43, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also with [[Yo Gabba Gabba]]‎ and to a lesser extent [[T.U.F.F. Puppy]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:56, 15 June 2022 (UTC)

== Requested move ==

Can an admin move [[Zork Grand Inquisitor]] to [[Zork: Grand Inquisitor]], over the current redirect? Cheers, [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 17:16, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 00:47, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you {{u|UDScott}}. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 05:41, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

== Protected move request ==

Could the pages [[Template:Test4]] and [[Template:Test4im]] be swapped? They seem to be the reverse of what they should be (also to be consistent with Wikipedia). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

Could someone revdel [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User:SHUMBH&amp;oldid=3133965 this] edit summary? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:12, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

== Archive.is ==

Can we add archive.is to the abuse filter? Or whatever domain they're using now. It is commonly abused by GRP and I see no real use of it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:45, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

== Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! ==

The page [[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]] is being repeatedly recreated with no quotes. I think page protection is needed. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:22, 5 July 2022 (UTC)
:Already done - my first step was to protect it from IP edits...if it continues, will take further steps. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:23, 5 July 2022 (UTC)

::Ok, thank you {{u|UDScott}}. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:32, 5 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request for Importer ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; visibility: hidden;&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]]
&lt;!-- All users after this line are not admins, just want to be pinged. You, yourself, can be added here, too, just add yourself below this line. --&gt;
@[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt;@$[[Special:ListUsers/sysop|AllAdministrators]]: (pinging because the admins don’t seem to check this page often)

I regularly need to import pages from Wikipedia and other wikis, so I am requesting the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right to make this process much easier, provide better attribution, and to allow the reversal, modification, and viewing of pre-import revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:37, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

:As pointed out on my talk, a bureaucrat will need to actually do this. Have you done importing before? Are you willing to do the cleanup necessary (e.g. when there are redlinks)? Can you give an idea of what you'd want to import, as the content pages from Wikipedia will not always be relevant here (tho some of them would be, as there are articles tagged with quotation sections that should be imported)? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Yes, I have imported hundreds of templates (properly). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:32, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I cannot recall any other requests for this right in the past - and it appears that this can actually only be done by a steward. Per the [[w:Wikipedia:User_access_levels#Importers_and_transwiki_importers|relevant page on WP]], &quot;This access is highly restricted and is only available for assignment to a limited number of very trusted users by stewards following a special community approval discussion.&quot; I don't think that you wishing to have it to make some tasks easier qualifies. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 22:37, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} I am very confused. The option is available already to admins, so why do I need to be more trusted to get a lower-level user right? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:39, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::I just quoted what I read on the subject (as I had to look into it, having never received such a request before) - take it up with a steward if you have an issue, as it does not appear I could grant it to you even if I wanted to. As to your question - admins already go through a special community approval process in order to become admins. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 22:45, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}} So, admins can be appointed by bureaucrats, but importers have to be appointed by stewards. If so, then why do you have to go through a far-more thorough appointing process to get a lesser user right? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:48, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I don't see that it is any more thorough than that for admins. In both cases, a community discussion is required, it's just different roles that actually grant the permission after said discussion. I'm also not really inclined to say that importing is really a lesser user right - it could certainly be abused in the wrong hands. I am not saying you would abuse it, but I can see why it is not so easily granted. I do still have some reluctance to grant you additional rights anyway, as I still do not understand all that you are trying to do here, and I still maintain that much of your template work is redundant and wasted and steamrolls existing templates already in use. You demonstrate an impatience that in my mind is not compatible with someone with advanced user rights on the site. By the way, you're asking these questions to me as if I was the author of the cited policies - I am not. And I have no idea why any of this was set up this way (other than to be judicious in granting such rights, as I mentioned already). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 23:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, my point is not that is or is not a &quot;lesser right&quot;, but that it is not a greater right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:16, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Report concerning Achim110 ==

{{U|Achim110}} is making some weird edits. On [[Wikidata]], {{GENDER:Achim110|he|she|they}} [[Special:Diff/3125691/3141310|replaced the Wikidata logo with a (nonexistent) Wikinews logo]], with several other nonsensical logo edits in between. Some of their other page creations seem to be random copy+pasted “administrative” wikitext; at [[Keir Graff]], they’ve created a purported block review by [[User:Keir Graff]] (whose user page Achim also created, and who also isn’t blocked on English Wikiquote as far as I can tell). Can someone check what’s going on? [[User:Lucas Werkmeister|Lucas Werkmeister]] ([[User talk:Lucas Werkmeister|talk]]) 14:29, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
: This user has been permanently blocked, and a mass deletion of all pages created by the account performed. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 15:08, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
== Edit war ==

There has been an ongoing edit war on [[Sonic the Hedgehog 2]] on whether &quot;Shadow&quot;'s eyes are orange or red. Can this be sorted out? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:05, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done|Solved}} '''&lt;sup&gt;(Hopefully)&lt;/sup&gt;''' by [[User:Koavf|Koavf]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:14, 14 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>16dm5wnbwyjufm1k6titegyoqcycqor</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Jane Powell</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>236410</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149181</id>
      <parentid>3006033</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:15:25Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1433" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Jane Powell 1948.jpg|thumb|Jane Powell in 1948]]
'''[[w:Jane Powell|Jane Powell]]''' (born '''Suzanne Lorraine Burce'''; April 1, 1929 – September 16, 2021) is an American singer, dancer and actress who rose to fame in the mid-1940s with roles in various [[w:Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer|Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer]] [[w:musical film|musicals]]. She is one of the [[w:List of living actors from the Golden Age of Hollywood|last surviving stars]] from the [[w:Classical Hollywood cinema|Golden Age of Hollywood]] cinema.

== Quotes ==  
* I don’t think about the past except now, when we’re talking about it, I never felt I was really there anyway. I always pictured myself as a fly who was up in the corner looking down at myself. I never feel I was there. I’m not very sentimental when it comes to the past, I don’t live there and I feel for people who do because it’s never going to be the same as you remember it.
** [https://www.thehour.com/wilton/article/Actress-from-Hollywood-s-Golden-Age-feels-right-11269592.php Actress from Hollywood's Golden Age feels right at home in Wilton] (July 6, 2017)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Powell, Jane}}
[[Category:1929 births]]
[[Category:2021 deaths]]
[[Category:People from Portland]]
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]</text>
      <sha1>1r385bqz2kvh5xjn9hbr7i4tf0b6ym6</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Lindsay Pagano</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>238079</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149175</id>
      <parentid>2974197</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T23:08:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="801" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Lindsay Pagano|Lindsay Megan Pagano ]]''' (June 22, 1986 –) is an American singer.

== Quotes ==  
 
*I'm just so sick of new artists picking themselves apart trying to find something ''different'' about themselves. I'm not going to buy into it, because, quite frankly, I hate ''images''. I'm just going to be me, whatever that is, and do my music, because it makes me happy. What makes me different is really up to you guys.
**[http://g2gnow.com/bp/bpLindsayPaganoInterview.html Lindsay Pagano Interview]

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Pagano, Lindsay}}
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:American women]]
[[Category:1986 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Philadelphia]]</text>
      <sha1>i3hu4vxfhz7qrlvienusrygilvl3oda</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Adventures of Caillou</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>239642</id>
    <revision>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T18:55:08Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2001:569:7696:1700:DC2E:9BB6:4CC:F2E6</ip>
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      <text bytes="3410" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{db|No sources}}
'''''[[w:The Adventures of Caillou|The Adventures of Caillou]]''''' (2017–2018) is an animated Plotagon series, similar to [[Joseph &amp; Lindsey]], made by TyWan Smith on YouTube. The sitcom follows a 12-year-old boy called Caillou Anderson and his regular life at the Anderson household. Rosie Anderson, Rosie's 9-year-old sister, is often getting into trouble around him and others. The series aired from November 21, 2017 to January 18, 2018. Although the series conclusion was meant to be ''The Kidnap Part 2'', it ended up being ''The Kidnap Part 1'' owing to TyWan Smith uninstalling the app. Caillou was 13 years old and Rosie was 10 years old when the program concluded.
__TOC__
&lt;!-- Replace the above line by __NOTOC__ if you want to create a custom table of contents and the following conditions hold:
1. The show is no longer active.
2. There is a large number of episodes (over 50). --&gt;

== Season 1 ==
=== Rosie annoys Caillou/punishment day/grounded [1.1] ===
:'''Rosie''': Caillou, wanna hear my puns?
:'''Caillou''': Nope! ''[facepalms]''
:'''Rosie''': What do you call when you kill an eagle? Ill-eagle! Hahahaha! Get it?
:'''Caillou''': You're just going to make some puns just to wore me out, Rosie.
:'''Rosie''': What do you--''[Gets interrupted by Caillou]''
:'''Caillou''': That's it! I'm telling mom on you for getting on my nerves! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; &lt;!-- Use this to separate quotes within the same episode. --&gt;

:'''Doris''': Oh my god, Rosie, how dare you annoy Caillou! That's it, today's punishment day!

=== Caillou's Ghost Teacher [1.2] ===
:'''Caillou''': Rosie, I don't like you sitting here.
:'''Rosie''': Please?
:'''Caillou''': Fine! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; &lt;!-- Use this to separate quotes within the same episode. --&gt;

:'''Ghost Mrs. Armstrong''': Good morning, Caillou.
:'''Caillou''': Wait a second, why is my teacher a ghost?
:'''Ghost Mrs. Armstrong''': Good question, Caillou. Your teacher died a few days ago when it was the weekend. Now I'm the ghost of her.
:''[Caillou says 'no' a bunch of times]''
:'''Caillou''': Not my teacher! Why did she die?!
:'''Ghost Mrs. Armstrong''': Heart attack.

=== The Kidnap [1.3] ===
:'''Caillou''': Dad!
:'''Boris''': Yes son?
:'''Caillou''': My sister Rosie got kidnapped by a girl!
:'''Boris''': Probably go out there and save her from that kidnapper.
:''[Caillou slaps Boris]''
:'''Caillou''': Dad, you can't make me go out there! I'm 13! I might get kidnapped to and probably I would be with her too! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; &lt;!-- Use this to separate quotes within the same episode. --&gt;

:'''Rosie''': Mmmm! Sweet popcorn! But I guess I have to head home now. Nice meeting you, Ms. Lizzie.
:'''Ms. Lizzie''': Actually, you're going nowhere! ''[Laughs evilly]'' There is not a way!
:''[Rosie continues to eat popcorn]''

== Cast ==
&lt;!-- Only enter the main cast, not recurring or guest stars --&gt;
* Caillou Anderson
* Rosie Anderson
* Boris Anderson

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}} &lt;!-- optional --&gt;
* {{imdb title|IMDB_ID_number|Show Title}}
* [http://url-to-resource Site description] &lt;!-- The official show website would be a good choice here. --&gt;
* [http://url-to-resource Site description 2]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Adventures of Caillou, The}}

[[Category:Television shows|*]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>tjo8ljbzgqhc1fwqbd59ptuojd7lpdz</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Tyrone Hayes</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>239801</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149120</id>
      <parentid>2988908</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T21:51:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1124" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Tyrone Hayes at King University in 2013 (10680719164).jpg|thumb|Tyrone Hayes (2013)]]

'''[[w:Tyrone Hayes|Tyrone B. Hayes]]''' (July 29, 1967 –) is an American biologist and professor of Integrative Biology.

== Quotes ==  

*We turn on the faucet, the water comes out, we assume it's safe, and we assume that we are masters of our environment, rather than being part of it.
**[https://www.ted.com/talks/tyrone_hayes_penelope_jagessar_chaffer_the_toxic_baby The toxic baby] (December 2010)

*Clearly there’s some entity that doesn’t really include us, the professors and students, and doesn’t really protect our academic freedom, I think, the way that it should.
**[https://www.democracynow.org/2014/2/21/silencing_the_scientist_tyrone_hayes_on Silencing the Scientist: Tyrone Hayes on Being Targeted by Herbicide Firm Syngenta] (February 21, 2014)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hayes, Tyrone}}
[[Category:1967 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from South Carolina]]
[[Category:Harvard University alumni]]
[[Category:Biologists from the United States]]</text>
      <sha1>bw59ksya7g9l3y3kr5six60dhzthjn2</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149121</id>
      <parentid>3149120</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T21:52:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1170" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Tyrone Hayes at King University in 2013 (10680719164).jpg|thumb|Tyrone Hayes (2013)]]

'''[[w:Tyrone Hayes|Tyrone B. Hayes]]''' (July 29, 1967 –) is an American biologist and professor of Integrative Biology.

== Quotes ==  

*We turn on the faucet, the water comes out, we assume it's safe, and we assume that we are masters of our environment, rather than being part of it.
**[https://www.ted.com/talks/tyrone_hayes_penelope_jagessar_chaffer_the_toxic_baby The toxic baby] (December 2010)

*Clearly there’s some entity that doesn’t really include us, the professors and students, and doesn’t really protect our academic freedom, I think, the way that it should.
**[https://www.democracynow.org/2014/2/21/silencing_the_scientist_tyrone_hayes_on Silencing the Scientist: Tyrone Hayes on Being Targeted by Herbicide Firm Syngenta] (February 21, 2014)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hayes, Tyrone}}
[[Category:1967 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from South Carolina]]
[[Category:Harvard University alumni]]
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  <page>
    <title>Ginza Rabba</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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        <username>Nebulousquasar</username>
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      <text bytes="5153" xml:space="preserve">[[File:كنزا_ربا_.jpg|thumb|An Arabic translation of the Ginza Rabba published in Baghdad, Iraq]]
The '''{{w|Ginza Rabba}}''' is the most important holy scripture of [[Mandaeism]]. It is written in Mandaic, an Eastern Aramaic dialect.

== Quotes ==
::&lt;small&gt;[[Carlos Gelbert|Gelbert, Carlos]] (2011). ''[https://livingwaterbooks.com.au/product/ginza-rba/ Ginza Rba]''. Sydney: Living Water Books. ISBN 9780958034630. (English translation)&lt;/small&gt;
::&lt;small&gt;[[Carlos Gelbert|Gelbert, Carlos]] (2021). ''[https://livingwaterbooks.com.au/product/ginza-rba-2/ Ginza Rba]''. Sydney: Living Water Books. ISBN 9780958034630. (Arabic translation and Mandaic transcription)&lt;/small&gt;

=== Right Ginza ===
*&quot;I am the Life Who was from aforetime; (''ana hu hiia ḏ-hun mn l-aqadmia'')
:I am the kušṭa that was the first at the beginning. (''ana hu kušṭa ḏ-hua mn qudam briša'')
:I am the radiance, I am the light. (''ana hu ziua, ana hu nhura'')
:I am the death, I am the Life. (''ana hu muta, ana hu hiia'')
:I am the darkness, I am the light. (''ana hu hšuka, ana hu nhura'')
:I am the error, I am the truth. (''ana hu ṭʿia, ana hu šrara'')
:I am the destruction, I am the construction. (''ana hu hbila, ana hu biniana'')
:I am the (unwitting) offence, I am the purification. (''ana hu mhita, ana hu asuta'')
:I am the outstanding man who is older and earlier than the builder of the heavens and the earth. (''ana hu gabra iatira ḏ-qašiš mn qudam ḏ-bania ʿšumia u-arqa hua'')
:I have no friend as king, and there is no crown in my kingdom. (''habrai b-malkia laiit u-laiit taga b-malkutai'')
:There is no person who could give me information in the clouds of darkness. (''u-laiit kul ʿniš br anaša ḏ-paršigna naitilia b-rpilia ḏ-hšuka'')
:*Book 6, paragraphs 16-17


*Thereupon Shilmai, the master of the house, arose, went before Yathrun, the perfect man. He said to him:
:&quot;My father! The piece of information that thou didst wish from me, I will give thee.
:When the measure of the world comes to an end,
::the earth falls into darkness,
:::and the heavens shall roll up like a reed-mat.
:The sun strips off its radiance,
::the moon takes off its gleaming.
:The stars and constellations fall down like leaves.
:The fire goes to its foundation,
::the waters go back into their place of origin.
:The four winds grasp themselves by their wings and cease to blow.
:Ruha, Mšiha, the planets and the souls of the evil ones who have confessed (their faith) in them, call for each other and grasp each other by the hand, in order to be bound and to be fettered,
::and they go off and fall down like a lead pomegranate into ‘Ur, the Lord of darkness, into his own gigantic body!
:And smoke curls up in his belly, and the fire shall be fanned and shall consume ‘Ur, the Lord of darkness,
::and ‘Uat (Ewath), the lying Ruha, and the planets and the souls of the evil ones who have confessed (their faith) in them.&quot;
:*5.5:47-48

=== Left Ginza ===
*Naked they brought me into the world (''arṭil l-alma atalḥ''),
::and naked they take me out of it (''u-riqan minḥ apqun'').
:Naked they take me out of it (''riqan apqun minḥ''),
::like a bird that is unaccompanied by anything (''kḏ ṣipra ḏ-minḥ lalua'').
:*Book 3, Hymn 17

== Quotes about the ''Ginza Rabba'' ==
*Again I feel the need and responsibility to defend our principal religious manuscript, the ''Ginza Rba'', the Great Treasure of all Mandaeans. '''If you want the truth, the ''Ginza Rba'' is the backbone of our community. Without it the Mandaeans could never have survived the centuries-long atrocities, fanaticism and extremism of other nations; without it, I am sure, they would soon disappear in the near future. We should not forget that their successful resistance in the past was due to it.''' If you read the colophon of sheykh Salah Jabbar at the end of this book, you will see that there was a good tradition among the priesthood, namely: to look upon the Ganzibra amongst them, who has succeeded in copying a scroll of the ''Ginza Rba'' to the last word with his right hand (''nasaka d-kulhun ginzia b-iaminḥ''), as a steadfast and reliable religious man. So they valued his knowledge and appreciated his work to a great extent and placed a crown of honour upon his head.
**[[Carlos Gelbert]]. In: Gelbert, Carlos (2017). ''[https://livingwaterbooks.com.au/product/john-the-baptist/ The Teachings of the Mandaean John the Baptist]''. Fairfield, NSW, Australia: Living Water Books. ISBN 9780958034678.

== See also ==
* [[Gnosticism]]
* [[Gospel of Philip]]
* [[Nag Hammadi library]]

== References ==
{{reflist}}
* Gelbert, Carlos (2011). ''[https://livingwaterbooks.com.au/product/ginza-rba/ Ginza Rba]''. Sydney: Living Water Books. ISBN 9780958034630. (English translation)
* Gelbert, Carlos (2021). ''[https://livingwaterbooks.com.au/product/ginza-rba-2/ Ginza Rba]''. Sydney: Living Water Books. ISBN 9780958034630. (Arabic translation and Mandaic transcription)

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline|Ginza Rabba}}
*{{wikisource-inline}}

{{italic title}}
[[Category:Religious texts]]
[[Category:Gnosticism]]
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Janis Paige</title>
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      <text bytes="824" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Janis Paige It's Always Jan.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Janis Paige]]

'''[[w:Janis Paige|Janis Paige]]''' (September 16, 1922 –) is an American retired actress and singer.

== Quotes ==  

*Even at 95, I remember everything. Closure is never complete. I didn’t ask for Hollywood, it discovered me. 
**[https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/harassment-hollywoods-golden-age-survivor-janis-paiges-first-hand-story-1052498 Harassment in Hollywood's Golden Age: A Survivor's Firsthand Story (Guest Column)] (October 27, 2017)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Paige, Janis}}
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  <page>
    <title>Laura Osnes</title>
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      <text bytes="903" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Laura Osnes.jpg|thumb|Laura Osnes]]
'''[[w:Laura Osnes|Laura Ann Osnes]]''' (November 19, 1985 –) is an American actress and singer.

== Quotes ==  

*For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a &quot;Broadway actress.&quot; I think I came out of the womb singing and dancing, and performing was the one thing I always had my heart set on.
**[https://www.broadwayworld.com/omaha/article/BWW-Interview-Laura-Osnes-Brings-BROADWAY-PRINCESS-PARTY-to-the-Lied-Center-For-Performing-Arts-20181128 BWW Interview: Laura Osnes Brings BROADWAY PRINCESS PARTY to the Lied Center For Performing Arts] (November 28, 2018)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

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  <page>
    <title>Lita (wrestler)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <text bytes="1137" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Amy Dumas July 2017.jpg|thumb|Lita in 2017]]

'''[[w:Lita (wrestler)|Amy Christine Dumas]]''' (born April 14, 1975), better known by her [[w:ring name|ring name]] '''Lita''', is an American [[w:Professional wrestling|professional wrestler]]. She is currently signed with [[w:WWE|WWE]], where she performs on the [[w:Raw (WWE brand)|Raw]] [[w:WWE brand extension|brand]]. Often regarded as one of the greatest women's performers, she is also one of the most popular female superstars in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) and was inducted into the [[w:WWE Hall of Fame|WWE Hall of Fame]] in 2014.

==Quotes==
* But the only thing that's ending on Saturday night is your five-hundred-day title reign when I become the Raw Women's Champion.
**14 February 2022 on Monday Night Raw to [[Becky Lynch]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}


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    <title>South Park/Season 25</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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        <ip>2600:1700:C361:A40:5BF:7F12:CB93:762E</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* South Park The Streaming Wars Part 2 */</comment>
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----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[South Park/Season 1|1]] [[South Park/Season 2|2]] [[South Park/Season 3|3]] [[South Park/Season 4|4]] [[South Park/Season 5|5]] [[South Park/Season 6|6]] [[South Park/Season 7|7]] [[South Park/Season 8|8]] [[South Park/Season 9|9]] [[South Park/Season 10|10]] [[South Park/Season 11|11]] [[South Park/Season 12|12]] [[South Park/Season 13|13]] [[South Park/Season 14|14]] [[South Park/Season 15|15]] [[South Park/Season 16|16]] [[South Park/Season 17|17]] [[South Park/Season 18|18]] [[South Park/Season 19|19]] [[South Park/Season 20|20]] [[South Park/Season 21|21]] [[South Park/Season 22|22]] [[South Park/Season 23|23]] [[South Park/Season 24|24]] [[South Park/Season 25|25]] | [[South Park|Main]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997-present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

{{tv-stub}}

=== [[w:Pajama Day|Pajama Day]] [25.01] ===
 
=== [[w:The Big Fix|The Big Fix]] [25.02] ===
:'''Stan''': ''[approaching Tolkien, whose playing football with Butters]'' Uh, hey, Token.
:'''Tolkien''': Oh, hey Stan.
:'''Stan''': Uh, listen, I uh… How you doin'?
:'''Tolkien''': Fine.
:'''Stan''': Um… You think your family would wanna come over for dinner? Out at our farm?
:'''Tolkien''': It's kinda far, isn't it?
:'''Stan''': Yeah but… Look, Token, I think maybe you and I should hang out more.
:'''Tolkien''': What are you talking about?
:'''Stan''': I mean, we never just hang out, you and me.
:'''Butters''': Hey, we never hang out just you and me either, Stan!
:'''Stan''': Shut up, Butters! Look, just will you please just see if your family will come over for dinner? It would mean a lot.
:''[Nighttime at Tegridy Farms; The Black family are sitting at the table with the Marshes]''
:'''Randy''': ''[setting up dinner on the table]'' Ok, there we go. This is a farm fresh hemp salad sourced locally here at Tegridy! Alright, come on everybody, dig in.
:'''Linda''': Thank you so much for having us over. This is really nice.
:'''Steve''': We've never been to a marijuana farm before.
:'''Randy''': Well, you know, with our boys starting to become so close– we thought we better get the families together! If they're friends, then we need to be friends! ''[pulls out his phone]'' Do you mind if I post this? Check out our friends!
:'''Steve''': Randy… I hope you didn't invite us here because we're black.
:'''Randy''': W-what are you talking about?
:'''Linda''': It's just that the past year or so a lot of people have been inviting us over to dinner and then taking pictures of us to show everyone on Instagram.
:'''Randy''': Oh, that's so lame. No, we really just wanted to get to know you guys better since Stan is friends with Token. You know… just out of curiosity– why did you guys name him that?
:'''Steve''': What do you mean?
:'''Randy''': Well– I mean, it's just kind of an odd name, isn't it? Like, some people might think you guys naming your son that isn't very cool.
:'''Steve''': People have a problem with Tolkien's name?
:'''Randy''': Well I mean other people just think it's a little… I mean, come on, I mean, I'm– I'm not calling you guys racist, but– why did you name your son that?
:'''Linda''': My husband has always been a huge fan of ''Lord of the Rings'' and ''The Hobbit.''
:'''Steve''': I wanted to name my son after my favorite author. But she didn't want to name our son J.R.R., so we just named him Tolkien.
:'''Randy''': ''[shocked]'' His name is Tolkien?
:'''Steve''': Yes, you know his name is Tolkien!
:'''Stan''': ''[to Tolkien]'' I thought your name was &quot;Token&quot;.
:'''Tolkien''': My name ''is'' &quot;Tolkien&quot;.
:'''Steve''': Sorry, I don't think it's that weird. J.R.R. Tolkien is one of the most prolific, influential writers of our time.
:'''Randy''': Holy shit, that's what his name means?
:'''Steve''': What did you think his name meant?
:'''Randy''': Would you like to see how we grow and process our weed?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': They stole it! They stole my idea!
:'''Sharon''': Who did?
:'''Randy''': Those dickheads across the street! They took everything I learned about using black culture to make a bigger profit and they're doing it themselves! Get this little prick outta my house! ''[drags Token outside]''
:'''Stan''': DAD!
:'''Randy''': Get him outta here, he's a spy! Hey, fuck face! I don't want your kid over at my house, you got that?!
:'''Steve''': Hey, man, what's your problem?
:'''Randy''': You want a war? Well, you got one! Game on, asshole!
:'''Steve''': Game on, motherfucker.
:'''Randy''': Everyone back in the house. Come on, let's go.
:'''Stan''': But, Dad… 
:'''Randy''': Shut up!
:'''Dr. Gauche''': The story of young Stan Marsh might seem incredible, but the fact is many people suffer from unconscious biases. If you or someone you know might have also thought the name Tolkien didn't come from J.R.R. Tolkien, then please call… 1-800-I AM A GIANT PIECE OF SHIT. Because ''you'' are the fucking problem.

=== [[w:City People|City People]] [25.03] ===
:'''Cartman''': Ahg! Help! Somebody call Child Protective Services!
:'''Liane''': Eric, you're only making it worse!
:'''Cartman''': I am not doing a co-brokering deal, Mom, it's not gonna happen!
:'''Liane''': This isn't about that, Eric, and you know it! You're upset. You're upset because you don't want your mom to have a job!
:'''Cartman''': That isn't true.
:'''Liane''': It ''is'' true! You're scared and you're jealous that a job will take my attention away from you!
:'''Cartman''': You just want to offer the sellers a lower commission to list this house and it's not going to work, Mom!
:'''Liane''': It's okay to be scared, Eric! I know that I'm the only family you have, but you're making everything worse for us!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cartman''': Weak. I live in a hot dog.

=== [[w: Back to the Cold War|Back to the Cold War]] [25.04] ===

=== [[w: Help, My Teenager Hates Me!|Help, My Teenager Hates Me!]] [25.05] ===

=== [[w: Credigree Weed St. Patrick's Day Special|Credigree Weed St. Patrick's Day Special]] [25.06] ===

=== [[w: South Park The Streaming Wars|South Park The Streaming Wars]] ===
:''[Randy's office; Shelley knocks on the door from outside]''
:'''Randy''': Yes? Come in.
:'''Shelley''': Mom said you wanted to see me.
:'''Randy''': Yes, Shelley, have a seat. Close the door please. I've been, uh, wanting to talk to you, Shelley. Um… Can you tell me why everyone is calling me &quot;Karen?&quot;
:'''Shelley''': Don't worry about it.
:'''Randy''': Well, everybody keeps calling me &quot;Karen,&quot; and I don't get it. Is it, is it, like, a joke, or something?
:'''Shelley''': &quot;Karen&quot; is a pejorative term for a white person who acts overly entitled and demanding.
:'''Randy''': Okay, well, that's fucked up. Don't you think that's a little, like, sexist?
:'''Shelley''': I didn't start it.
:'''Randy''': Well, who did?
:'''Shelley''': The internet.
:'''Randy''': So– so now somebody is a Karen just 'cause they want to be treated with some respect? I deserve to not have people walk all over me, okay?! I have the right to call the cops when things happen!
:'''Shelley''': That's fine, Karen.
:'''Randy''': Shelley, I deserve to not have– ''[looks out of the window to see the water commissioner inspecting the fields]'' what the fuck is he doing here?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': ''[pulls up at Mr. Cussler's property with Stan, holding a &quot;Cussler Industries&quot; boat]'' Come on. ''[knocks on the door]''
:'''Realtor''': ''[answers the door]'' Yes?
:'''Randy''': Hello, we'd like to speak with Mr. Cussler, please.
:'''Realtor''': For what?
:'''Randy''': Well, I want to let him know that my son here made a streaming deal that he had no business making. Didn't you, Stan?
:'''Stan''': No, technically, no.
:'''Randy''': Technically what?!
:'''Realtor''': I'm afraid Mr. Cussler can't see you.
:'''Randy''': Oh, really? Okay, well, you go and tell him that it's Karen Marsh, okay? And that I will talk to him right now.
:'''Realtor''': He can't talk to you because he's dead!
:'''Stan''': What?!
:'''Realtor''': Mr. Cussler's body was found several hours ago. He was… attacked by ManBearPig.
:''[Crime scene]''
:'''Yates''': Everyone keep this area clear. I need casts of the footprints. Keep your radios down. We don't want the press showing up.
:'''Randy''': What's going on here?
:'''Yates''': Aw, shit, it's Karen.
:'''Randy''': Hey, look, my son was in business with this guy. You really think he was killed by ManBearPig?
:'''Yates''': Take a look for yourself. Something tore him apart and shit in his face. Workers found him late this morning. The footprints are those of a pig, but the claw marks are those of a bear, and the excrement, clearly that of a man.
:'''Randy''': Why would ManBearPig single him out?
:'''Yates''': Apparently this Cussler guy was taking advantage of the water supply. ManBearPig must've gotten some kind of vengeance for the rich guy's greed.
:'''Randy''': Oh, no.
:'''Yates''': Karen? What is it? Karen?
:'''Randy''': It's just that… if ManBearPig was getting vengeance on Cussler, would he also want to come after my son?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dr. Stevens''': How is he?
:'''Nurse''': I believe he's coming to, Doctor.
:'''Dr. Stevens''': Hello, Eric. Just want to let you know that everything went fine. We're gonna let the anesthesia wear off a little more, and then we can let you go home.
:'''Cartman''': ''[stammers]'' Okay. Um, cool.
:'''Liane''': Well, you did it, Eric. I hope you're happier now. They all said you were very insistent. That you said you'd cancel them if they didn't put breast implants in one of us.
:'''Cartman''': I have fake tits? ''[pulls the blanket off his chest]''
:'''Liane''': They said that tube is for draining blood while the swelling goes down. Your breasts are swollen now as a reaction to the implants.
:'''Cartman''': Okay, well, now that you see how serious I was, what are you gonna do now?
:'''Liane''': I'm gonna go down and get some grocery shopping done. ''[walks away]''
:'''Cartman''': Mom? I ''will'' go to school like this! You're gonna have to give in at some point! ''[pause]'' Mom?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cartman''': ''[walks up to the boys with his enlarged breasts]'' You guys. You guys, something is seriously wrong with my mom. She's acting crazy. Are any of your parents acting weird at all?
:'''Butters''': Hey, fellas, are we making more boats for the– Whoa, hello! [stares at Cartman's chest] Jesus, what happened to you, Eric?
:'''Cartman''': Okay, okay, fine. I was hoping everyone would just be cool, but I guess we need to talk about the elephants in the room. This was not a choice. You guys, I… I live in a hot dog, okay? And all I want is to have a real home, and a room that is mine to sleep in at night. To– ''[sees Clyde stifling his laughter]'' is something funny, Clyde? Yeah, it's real funny. If I were you guys, I'd be super pissed at my mom because you worked hard for this money.
:'''Kyle''': All right, Cartman, stop fucking around. Obviously, those aren't real.
:'''Cartman''': I didn't say they're real. They're not real. They're silicone implants surgically inserted under the chest muscle.
:'''Kyle''': Nobody believes you actually got fake tits.
:'''Cartman''': These are real fake tits! Kenny, feel them. Go on, feel them.
:'''Kenny''': ''[touches the breasts]'' Those are fucking real, dude.
:'''Kyle''': What?
:'''Cartman''': Thank you, Kenny. Now, if we can all get our minds off fucking boobs for a second, something's happened to my mom.
:'''Tolkien''': Mom? Mom, what's wrong? ''[the boys turn around to see him talking to his mom on the phone]'' Mom, slow down, I can't understand you. ''[pause]'' What do you mean Dad is missing?
:'''Cartman''': See?

=== [[w: South Park The Streaming Wars Part 2|South Park The Streaming Wars Part 2]] ===
:'''Cartman''': 'Kay, Mom, well, I hope you learned your lesson. So, maybe now, will you get fake tits so I can get these stupid things out?
:'''Liane''': No, Eric! No!
:'''Cartman''': ''[as they pass by Wendy's]'' Can I get a Frosty?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Stotch Residence; Butters finishes up eating his plate as his parents glare annoyingly at him]''
:'''Butters''': Okay, I'm done.
:'''Stephen''': All right, then put your plate in the sink and march right on upstairs. Maybe the next time Maybe the next time you decide to pit streaming services against each other and cause a drought, you'll think twice. ''[follows Butters upstairs to his room after he puts his plate in the sink]'' I want no playing, no reading, and no thinking about fun stuff. You are being grounded. ''[closes the bedroom door]''
:'''Butters''': It's not my fault streaming services paid people more than was sustainable for any business model.
:'''Cartman''': Butters. Shh! Butters, stop.
:'''Butters''': Eric! You can't be in here, I'm grounded!
:'''Cartman''': We've been set up, Butters.
:'''Butters''': What?
:'''Cartman''': The whole streaming wars! The whole thing was a lie!
:'''Butters''': Eric, is that a real gun?
:'''Cartman''': Fuck yes, it's a real gun. Butters, listen to me. Someone bought up all the water and murdered anyone who got in their way.
:'''Butters''': No…
:'''Cartman''': Yes, Butters. Someone worked with the Colorado water commissioner and cheated the system. The same person who is now using climate change to make a profit!
:'''Butters''': Who?
:'''Cartman''': It didn't make sense to me. Why my mom was being so stubborn. Why wouldn't she do what I asked. But then I saw Tolkien across the street and I figured it out… Tolkien is fucking my mom.
:'''Butters''': Tolkien?!
:'''Cartman''': I wanted my mom to get fake tits so she could marry the rich guy across the street. Now that guy is dead and my mom is acting strange. The only explanation is that she's fucking Tolkien and they don't want me to know!
:'''Butters''': But, Eric, Tolkien was making those boats with us, he…
:'''Cartman''': Butters, Butters. My eyes are up here. Stop staring at my tits.
:'''Butters''': Oh, sorry.
:'''Cartman''': There's a bad guy out there getting away with murder, Butters. And we have to catch him.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stan''': Dad? You okay?
:'''Randy''': What have I become, Stan? I used to be a scientist. Do you remember that? I was the one who warned the town about a volcano. I warned them about the day after tomorrow. And then… It all became about weed. When did that happen, Stan?
:'''Stan''': I guess we all just got greedy, Dad.
:'''Randy''': I wanted to be a scientist because scientists solve problems. Do you even know what kind of a geologist I was, Stan?
:'''Stan''': No.
:'''Randy''': I was a &quot;fluvial geomorphologist&quot;. Someone who studies the changes in streams and rivers. And when the town needed me most… I was just out bitching because all I cared about was getting high and rich. I can't even remember the old me.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sharon''': How's it all going? ''[hands Randy his coffee]''
:'''Randy''': Oh, thanks, honey. It's good. Fast. I think we can have this thing up and running for tests in a week.
:'''Sharon''': That's amazing.
:'''Randy''': You're not so bad yourself, babe. ''[smiles and starts to walk off]'' Oh, and hey, Sharon? Sorry about the whole &quot;weed thing.&quot;
:'''Sharon''': It's okay, Randy.
:'''Randy''': All right, Nelson, I've updated the engineering. I've accounted for the elevation but I still can't figure out the pipeline. The problem is actually getting enough pressure to get the saltwater up here to the plant.
:'''Nelson''': It almost seems impossible. I don't know how you get saltwater up here without a tremendous amount of energy.
:'''Randy''': Yeah, well, let's just keep working. There has to be an answer. Science always has an answer.
:'''Nelson''': Randy, it's good to have you back at the U.S. Geological Survey.
:'''Randy''': Thanks, Nelson. Oh, and hey, Nelson? Sorry about the whole &quot;weed thing.&quot;
:'''Nelson''': That's okay, Randy.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Randy''': You wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?!
:'''Pi-Pi''': Scusi, who let you in?
:'''Randy''': I let myself in because it's a free country, and I'll stand where I fucking want!
:'''Pi-Pi''': Get him out of here!
:'''Randy''': ''[backing off the two lifeguards]'' Don't you fucking touch me! Don't any of you fucking touch me!
:'''Pi-Pi''': Okay, we obviously have a bit of a Karen here, let's, uh…
:'''Randy''': You can call me Karen all you fucking want! Motherfucker! Why don't you tell everyone what you've been doing?!

[[Category:South Park seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>egt2ehrze96ak018dz7zzh0hx1bd3qw</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>245929</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149118</id>
      <parentid>3083719</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T21:50:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:600:4300:1270:11B2:2665:AA5B:8263</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="30869" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle|Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle]]''''' is a [[wikipedia:2020 in film|2020]] film which is the twenty-third movie in the [[Pokémon]] film series. ''Directed by Tetsuo Yajima.''

==Dialogue==
:''[First lines]''
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Hey, let's go.
:'''Dada Zarude''': Right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dada Zarude''': Hmm?
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Hey, what's that?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I've come here to speak to the Elder about it.
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': ''[sighs]'' Have you forgotten that no one is allowed inside our territory? Have you?!
:''[Dada and Sub-Alpha Zarude are snarling]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': ''[arrives]'' Now, now. It appears to me you've brought something unusual along with you.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Elder.
:'''Elder Zarude''': It is human, correct? And a child, too.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Human? That?
:''[Baby sneezes]''
:''[Several Zarude are groaning]''
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': ''[growls and sniffs]'' Oh, that stinks! It smells like a Stunky's rear end! ''[groans in disgust]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': So, tell me, what do you plan to do with it?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I don't know. But everybody heard it, right? That sound. If I leave it be, it will not survive.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': ''[annoyed]'' That's not our concern! Nobody can break our laws!
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': I'll get rid of it!
:''[Dada and Sub-Alpha Zarude are grunting and growling]''
:'''Zarude #1''': Beat 'em up!
:'''Zarude #2''': Get 'em!
:'''Zarude #3''': Obey the laws!
:'''Zarude #4''': It can't be allowed!
:'''Zarude #5''': Get it out now!
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Water raises the trees. The light shines down and turns the trees into jungle. This revered water raises the Zarude and gives us our rich bounty! Allowing others onto our land means we will wither and vanish! That is the law of the Zarude!
:''[Several Zarude are yelling in agreement]''
:'''Zarude #4''': We are Zarude!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Quit your complaining, I know that.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Then hurry up and...
:'''Dada Zarude''': I'm going to go find its parents.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': What?
:'''Elder Zarude''': Hmm.
:'''Dada Zarude''': I will withdraw from the troop.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Do you know what you're saying?
:'''Dada Zarude''': The law won't apply to me anymore.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': ''[grabs Dada's shoulder and grunts]'' You'll never return again! You'll lose all of your friends!
:''[Dada and Alpha Zarude are aggressively grunting]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': It can't be helped.
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[grunts]''
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': What a piece of work.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': I can't believe it. I thought I could trust you. ''[grumbles]'' '''''YOU TRAITOR!'''''
:'''Dada Zarude''': I'm sorry. ''[leaves his tribe with the baby]''
:'''Alpha Zarude''': ''[growls and thumps the ground]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': ''[hums in wonder]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': This is Milyfa Town, small and surrounded by jungle. Continuing his journey to become a Pokémon Master with his partner, Pikachu, Ash plans to enter the Forest of Okoya, looking for adventure.
:''[Pikachu jumps onto Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Ash''': Oh, ha! Hey, buddy.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu!
:'''Ash''': Okay, I gotta go.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Delia''': ''[on the video call screen]'' ''One minute!''
:'''Ash''': What, Mom?
:'''Delia''': ''Are you sure you're ready?''
:'''Ash''': I'm all set. I'll be fine. See ya!
:'''Delia''': ''Hold it! That attitude worries me the most! What about potions, extra clothes, and Pikachu's food? You'll need all of them!''
:'''Ash''': ''[sighs]'' You worry too much, Mom.
:'''Delia''': ''That's what being a parent's all about.''
:'''Ash''': Okay, I hear you. I'm hanging up.
:'''Delia''': ''There's that attitude!''
:'''Ash''': Uh...
:'''Delia''': ''If anything bad were to happen to you--''
:'''Ash''': Ah! Somebody's calling me. See ya!
:'''Delia''': ''Huh?''
:''[Ash deactivates the video call screen, leaves the building and runs through the town]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Ash''': Mom could talk until tomorrow if she had the chance.
:'''Pikachu''': Pi.
:'''Ash''': Oh, look at that, buddy.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Ash''': The jungle, it's huge!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Hold on a minute. Is this the first time you've seen a Poké Ball?
:'''Koko''': Za, Za, Zarude.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, What is it?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Koko''': Zarude, Zarude, Zarude.
:'''Ash''': No way! You can actually talk to Pikachu?
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu.
:''[Ash and Pikachu laugh]''
:'''Ash''': Awesome! So, my name's Ash.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pikachu, Pikachu, Pikapi!
:'''Ash''': ''[snickers]''
:'''Koko''': Pikachu, Pikapi.
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]'' You can talk to each other.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Ash''': But my name is Ash. Got it?
:'''Koko''': &quot;Name is Ash&quot;.
:'''Ash''': Yeah.
:'''Koko''': Zarude! ''[celebrates ecstatically]''
:'''Ash''': Hey, then what's your name?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika?
:'''Koko''': ''[grunts]'' Koko.
:'''Pikachu''': Pipi!
:'''Ash''': So your name's Koko. ''[raises his hand]'' Nice to meet you.
:'''Koko''': Zar? Ru...
:'''Ash''': Huh? ''[gasps]''
:''[Koko touches Ash's hand with his]''
:'''Koko''': ''[giggles]'' Za!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Hey, Koko, how far are we going?
:'''Koko''': Zaru-Zaruza.
:'''Skwovet''': ''[arrives]'' Skwovet! Skw, Skw, ''[falls down]'' Skwo, Skwo.
:'''Koko''': Za? Zaru!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwo, Skwovet! Skwovet! Skwovet! ''[imitates Dada Zarude]'' Skwovet! Skwovet! ''[normally]'' Skwovet-vet. ''[gets surprised]'' Skwovet!
:'''Ash''': ''[laughs]'' That one's a cutie.
:'''Koko''': Zaru, Zaru, Za, Zaruza?
:''[Ash and Pikachu get restrained in vines]''
:'''Ash''': Whoa! It's a trap! What's this all about?!
:'''Koko''': Ash! Zaru, Za, Zaru.
:''[Dada Zarude arrives]''
:''[Koko and Dada Zarude are speaking in Zarude language]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': Zarude!
:'''Ash''': A Pokémon?
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu.
:'''Koko''': Koko family.
:'''Ash''': Your family has a Pokémon?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Dada Zarude''': Did you use human language? ''[grunts]'' First, you just vanish without a trace. Now, you bring a human?
:'''Koko''': ''[scoffs]'' You knew all along.
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Koko''': I'm a human, aren't I?
:'''Dada Zarude''': Uh... Mm...
:'''Koko''': Come on, Dada, tell the truth!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[grunts]''
:'''Koko''': I'm human just like him! I'm not a Zarude at all, am I?!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Wrong! You're a Zarude!
:'''Koko''': ''[annoyed]'' Don't lie to me!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[gasps and groans]''
:''[Ash and Pikachu break free from the vines]''
:'''Ash''': ''[grunts and falls down]'' Aaaaaah! Ow. What do you think's going on? They really do look like a family.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Koko''': I brought Ash here so I could show him to you. And there were a lot more people like this back there. They launched something up into the sky that sparkled. Humans and Pokémon watched it together. Smiled together!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet. Skwovet, Skwovet.
:'''Koko''': ''[hits Dada Zarude's chest]'' The Zarude can't do that, you taught me everything! ''[pushes Dada Zarude away]'' You showed me how to get food. How to run, how to swing on vines, ''all'' of it. ''[cries]'' So why? Why didn't you tell me about humans?!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[sighs]'' I didn't want to make you sad.
:'''Koko''': ''[still annoyed and poses Dada Zarude's arm away]'' Don't give me that!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Uh-uh.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Koko''': I thought I was weird for making friends with all the Pokémon, but that wasn't it. It was because I'm human. If it means I can be friends with Pokémon, I'd rather be human!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[sadly]'' Pika.
:'''Dada Zarude''': I knew that this would happen sooner or later. You're exactly right.
:'''Koko''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': You're really a human, and I'm not your real Dada. Now you know.
:'''Koko''': Then tell me who I am!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[uses the vine to climb up a tree]'' Follow me, then.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ash, Pikachu, Koko, Skwovet and Dada Zarude enter the abandoned lab]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': When I found you, it was raining. You were alone, lying in a strange-looking box. And there were no other humans around. You were wearing this when I found you. ''[tosses the Koko's necklace to him]''
:'''Ash''': Uh...
:'''Koko''': Why did you take me with you?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I honestly don't know. I never knew my own family. I really never knew where I came from. You reminded me of me. I couldn't just leave you there. ''[finds an old picture frame and tosses it to Koko]''
:'''Koko''': ''[gasps and sees his parents' picture with himself as a baby]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': The baby in that picture is you. The two large humans are probably your real parents.
:'''Pikachu''': Pipi.
:'''Ash''': They look just like you.
:'''Dada Zarude''': I looked everywhere, trying to give you back to your family, and that's how I found this place. I think this was probably your family's nest. But by the time I found it, it already looked like this. It was then that I realized I would be raising you myself. Looking back, it could be that decision was a mistake. In the end, I still made you sad.
:'''Koko''': Uh-uh.
:'''Dada Zarude''': So that's all. I've told you everything. ''[grunts]'' Now you must decide. Do what you want with this place. ''[leaves the lab using vines to climb up and walks away]''
:'''Koko''': Dada!
:'''Ash''': Koko.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Looking at the two of you, I started thinking about my own dad. When I was little, I told some other kids about my goal, and they laughed at me. But my dad told me something I never forgot. &quot;The map to your goal is inside yourself. If you give up, your dream's never gonna come true&quot;. Now, being on my journey with Pikachu, I'm starting to get what he meant. Don't let it get to you, you're family. ''[grunts]'' You can argue, but then everything will go back to normal in no time. I'll tell you, families sure can be a mystery, huh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[arrives]'' Sorry for the wait. I am the head of this laboratory. My name is Zed. You have a question for me?
:'''Ash''': Uh-huh. My name's Ash, and this is my partner, Pikachu.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu!
:'''Ash''': And this is Koko.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Uh...
:'''Ash''': ''[shows Koko's old family picture frame to Dr. Zed]'' See. We're looking for these people. You know 'em?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Let me see.
:'''Ash''': We thought they might be working here at your lab.
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[surprised]''
:'''Ash''': We think it's a picture of Koko's real parents. I wanna reunite them.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Where did you get this?
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[sighs]'' Then this is Al?
:''[Everyone gasp in surprise]''
:'''Ash''': Al?
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gives the picture frame back to Ash]'' The two adults are Mr. and Mrs. Molybdenum. They used to run this lab. And the child they're holding... ''[shows digital photos]'' ''[Koko hides beneath the table]'' is Al, their son.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Those two were the leaders of the Healing Spring Research Team. You see, the spring was considered only a legend. Although a large number of research labs pursued it, they never actually found it. However, these two were able to discover it in the jungle, and they even obtained a water sample, a historic breakthrough.
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet?
:'''Koko''': Za, Zaruza.
:'''Ash''': Ah, um...
:'''Dr. Zed''': Uh, ha, apologies.
:'''Sharon''': Is that really true?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Correct. That pendant definitely belonged to the Molybdenums. Sharon, scanner, please.
:'''Sharon''': Yes, sir.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al, would you mind?
:'''Koko''': Ah!, ''[jumps back]'' Za, Za!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Huh? What's the problem?
:'''Ash''': Koko was brought up by a Pokémon. He's not good at people language.
:'''Dr. Zed''': He was what? ''[suprised]'' Raised by Pokémon?
:'''Ash''': But it means he's able to talk to other Pokémon.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Unbelievable.
:'''Sharon''': Doctor, here you go. ''[gives the scanner to Dr. Zed]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Thank you. I'd like to know if you're truly Al.
:'''Koko''': Zar.
:'''Dr. Zed''': A scan of your pendent will let me know. Don't worry, it won't hurt you. Relax. ''[uses the scanner in front of Koko's necklace]''
:'''Koko''': Zar!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Don't worry, I won't take it. Please, Sharon. ''[gives the scanner back to Sharon]''
:'''Sharon''': Biometrics are confirmed.
:'''Dr. Zed''': What do you know? Then that means... there is something I must tell this child. Mr. and Mrs. Molybdenum are not here at this lab. Ten years ago, they passed away. 
:'''Ash''': You're kidding.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Unfortunately, I'm not.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Dr. Zed''': It was a car accident. The couple were lost along with their research, and Al went missing. We assumed that he perished as well. But here you are, alive, nothing less than miraculous.
:''[Koko gets sad]''
:'''Ash''': Koko... ''[gives Koko's old family picture frame to him]'' He just said that your parents aren't in our world anymore.
:'''Koko''': Mm.
:'''Female researcher''': Sharon, the data is up.
:'''Sharon''': Thanks. ''[uses the tablet]'' Doctor.
:'''Dr. Zed''': What did you find? Put it up on the screen.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Sharon''': Sir.
:'''Ash''': Is everything all right?
:'''Dr. Zed''': It seems the data we all thought was lost was stored inside Al's pendant. Nearly all of it's corrupted, except for...
:'''Sharon''': On screen.
:''[The projector hums on]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Can it be?
:'''Koko''': ''[surprised]'' Za!
:''[the projector shows the photo of the Heart Tree]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': The healing spring.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Skwovet''': ''[trembles]'' Skwo, ''[calms down]'' Skwovet.
:'''Ash''': What is it, Koko?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Could he have a clue as to its location?
:'''Ash''': Of course, the jungle is Koko's home.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al, ''[puts his hands on Koko's shoulder]'' if you know something, you must tell me. Do it for your parents' dream. Do it for them!
:'''Koko''': ''[denies]'' Uh-uh. ''[grunts and leaves the lab]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwo! ''[follows Koko]'' Skwovet!
:'''Ash''': Koko! I'm sorry, gotta go. ''[runs after Koko]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pi. ''[jumps onto Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Sharon''': Doctor?
:'''Ash''': Koko! Wait up, Koko. I'll go with you.
:'''Koko''': ''[poses Ash's hand away, groans and runs off]'' Zarude!
:'''Ash''': Koko!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet! Skwo, Skwo, Skwo. ''[panics]'' Skwovet! Skwo! ''[runs after Koko]'' Skwovet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Koko''': All of those people know who I am. ''[sees the old family's picture frame]'' Why was I left in the forest? Was it because I couldn't be with them anymore? Was it because they had to leave me there? ''[soft groans and finds a small disc on his shoulder]'' What is this?
:''[a loud explosion appears]''
:'''Koko''': ''[gasps]''
:''[Dr. Zed on a motorcycle with several trucks and a giant spider-tank mecha in tow arrive]''
:'''Koko''': It's him.
:'''Female researcher''': Oh, it really is here.
:'''Sharon''': Wow, Doctor!
:'''Male researcher #1''': Excellent.
:'''Male researcher #2''': We found it!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Yes, there's no doubt. It's the healing spring, and this is its source.
:'''Jessie''': Look, it's that tree.
:'''Meowth''': Yeah, the same tree in the picture.
:'''Koko''': ''[washes down from the tree and yells at Dr. Zed]'' Zaru, Zaru, Zaruza!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al! You made it possible. Hey, uh, ''[points a his shoulder]'' no hard feelings.
:'''Koko''': ''[looks at his shoulder realizing that Dr. Zed had put a tracking chip on it instead of putting his hands]'' Ah! ''[snarls]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': You wouldn't understand.
:'''Sharon''': Forgive us, we didn't wanna have to do this. We're sorry, we mean no harm.
:'''Koko''': ''[tries to attack Dr. Zed but the giant spider-tank mecha grabs him]'' Zar! Zar!
:'''Pilot''': ''[inside the spider-tank mecha]'' What do we do with him, Doctor?
:'''Dr. Zed''': We have no choice. He'll come with us. We wouldn't want him to attack us again.
:'''Koko''': ''[still grunting]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Thunderbolt appears on mecha and breaks Koko free]''
:'''Koko''': Zaru!
:'''Dr. Zed''': What happened?
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet arrive]''
:'''Ash''': What's going on? What is all this supposed to mean?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Forgive us, but we decided to use you. How could we not when we found what we've been searching for?
:'''Koko''': Za, Zaruza?
:'''Skwovet''': Skwo, Skwovet.
:'''Ash''': ''[to Koko]'' Wanna know why we came along? That's what friends do.
:'''Koko''': &quot;What friends do&quot;. ''[smiles]'' Hmm.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu. Pi! ''[uses his tail to attack String Shot move by Ariados]'' Pika!
:''[Ash, Koko, Pikachu and Skwovet get captured in Ariados's String Shot, all yelp]''
:'''Jessie, James and Meowth''': Wow.
:'''Ash''': What are you doing?!
:'''Dr. Zed''': I beg your forgiveness.
:''[Ash, Koko, Pikachu and Skwovet are thrown and imprisoned inside a vehicle]''
:'''Male researcher #3''': Just keep quiet, okay? ''[closes the door]''
:'''Ash''': Hey, wait! ''[grunts and jumps to the door]'' Let us outta here!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ash, Pikachu, Koko, Skwovet, Dada and Alpha Zarude arrive at the Heart Tree]''
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Elder.
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': Hey, pull yourself together.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': The ones who are ripping up the forest are humans. My wounds are insignificant. Can't say the same for him. I have no idea why, but this human child actually fought alongside us. The one Koko called &quot;friend&quot;.
:'''Elder Zarude''': First and foremost, we stop the destruction of the jungle.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sharon''': Up close, you can feel its power.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Yes. How beautiful it is.
:'''Female researcher''': Doctor, over there! The Pokémon from before!
:'''Sharon''': It must be their nest.
:'''Male researcher #2''': It's a match!
:'''Male researcher #1''': Doctor, it's identical to the sample.
:'''Sharon''': We've done it. We have location data too.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Please, do a scan of the giant tree.
:'''Sharon''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Right now.
:'''Sharon''': Sir. ''[uses the tablet with the satellite vehicle to scan the tree]'' What is that? We've detected enormous energy in the center.
:'''Dr. Zed''': That's the true nature of its healing power.
:''[Sharon and female researcher gasp]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[to pilot]'' I want you to shoot the anchor into the tree.
:'''Pilot''': But, uh, are you sure?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Do it!
:'''Pilot''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sharon''': Please, wait. No! ''[tries to stop the pilot]''
:''[The spider-tank mecha blasts two missiles at the Heart Tree]''
:''[Several Zarude find out about the explosion of the Heart Tree and gasp]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': They're taking this to the extreme.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': The Heart Tree.
:''[One of Zarude screams with anguish]''
:'''Sharon''': Doctor, aren't we here for the spring? Keep this up, and those Pokémon--
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[interrupts Sharon and laughs]'' Wrong again. My objective isn't the spring. Healing power is nothing more than bits of energy carried by water rushing through the tree. My objective is the tree itself.
:'''Sharon''': And to that end...
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[smiles evily]'' Right, I couldn't care less what is sacrificed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Alpha Zarude''': We can't just sit around quietly in defeat. Any of you who can fight, follow me!
:''[All Zarude roar]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': You can't, you think you can win against that thing?
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Huh?
:'''Dada Zarude''': If you fight them head on, you'll get everyone hurt.
:'''Koko''': But, Dada...
:'''Alpha Zarude''': So you're saying do nothing? How do we protect the tree without fighting?
:'''Dada Zarude''': Hmm, but...
:'''Alpha Zarude''': We are Zarude! We are the strong ones! We have no fear! The jungle's lifeblood, LIFT UP YOUR VOICES!
:''[The Zarude troop are growling]''
:'''Ash''': Amazing.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': LET'S GO! FOR THE HEART TREE!
:''[Alpha and the Zarude troop run off]''
:'''Zarude troop''': Zarude!
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, let's go too!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet run off too]''
:'''Koko''': Dada, you just rest here.
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[grabs Koko's arm and grunts]'' Take the human child and run. You can't win this.
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet stop and look at Koko and Dada Zarude]''
:'''Koko''': But the jungle Pokémon, what happens to them?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I just couldn't bear to lose you.
:'''Koko''': I know that. That's why I fight! ''[poses Dada Zarude's arm away, grunts and runs off]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': Koko!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet follow Koko]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[collapses on the ground and groans]'' I should have known. How can I protect the Pokémon... protect our home, protect everyone? How can I protect ''Koko''?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Male researcher #1''': Yes, but aren't you taking this too far?
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gets enraged, pushes the researcher away and grunts]''
:'''Sharon''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': I've gone over this in my mind, ''over and over''. ''[grunts]'' So why did they do this?!
::''[In the flashback]''
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': Humans and Pokémon share the same life force.
:''[In the present]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Why won't they understand mine is the correct path? ''It's right here under their noses!''
:''[All researchers are quiet]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': You're all the same.
:''[The Zarude troop arrive]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Zarude. Lots of them.
:'''Male researcher #1''': &quot;Zarude&quot;?
:'''Female researcher''': They've come for revenge.
:'''Sharon''': We've rekindled their rage.
:''[Ash, Pikachu, Koko and Skwovet arrive as well]''
:'''Ash''': Dr. Zed, now look at what you've done!
:'''Sharon''': We're sorry. We'll be leaving right away
:''[Dr. Zed throws the pilot out of the spider-tank mecha and enters]''
:''[All researchers gasp]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': We will not be leaving. I will show you the truth path. ''[shows his true colors to Koko]'' I'm afraid your parents made the wrong decision, Al!
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': And they paid the ultimate price in the end.
::''[In the flashback]''
::'''Zed''': Boss. I think I deserve an explanation.
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': Look, Zed. It turns out the source of the healing power is a great body of energy within the tree.
::'''Phossa Molybdenum''': But there are Pokémon called Zarude who live on that giant tree. There's no doubt that tree is special to the Zarude.
::'''Zed''': I ask you to reconsider. We've searched for it so long, and now we've found it!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': We're suspending operations until we find a way to resolve this for the good of both humans and Pokémon.
::'''Zed''': ''[grunts and puts hard his hands on Chrom's shoulder]'' Stopping for a bunch of Pokémon?! ''What is the matter with you?!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': ''[touches Zed's hand]'' Humans and Pokémon share the same life force. ''[poses Zed's hand away]'' We share the same world. I'm making the right decision, Zed. I know it.
:''[In the present]''
:''[Team Rocket in Zed's office]''
:'''James''': Here's a video blog from ten years ago.
:'''Jessie''': Ooh, let's watch.
:'''James''': Sure. ''[plays the video blog]''
:'''Zed''': '' ''[sighs]'' Operations are suspended on the Healing Spring Project, though we could save countless people with the power of that spring. ''[grumbles]'' And all for some worthless Pokémon. ''[throws tantrum]'' THE DECISION IS WRONG, I TELL YOU! ''[breathes aggressively]'' If I were in charge, I could lead this research down the path to truth. My way is correct! If only I had the power, I could prove to everyone that my way is the right way. ''[hits the table with his hand]'' Yes, yes, I can. If the Molybdenums weren't around...''
::''[In the flashback]''
::''[Chrom and Phossa are driving the jeep with their crying baby Al/Koko while Zed in another jeep pursues them]''
::'''Zed''': Come on, you two, where is the data?!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': We erased it!
::'''Zed''': But why?!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': ''[last words]'' It's to protect them!
::'''Zed''': ''[angry]'' UNACCEPTABLE!!
::''[Zed runs Chrom and Phossa off the road causing a fiery accident and explosion]''
::''[Baby Al/Koko is still crying, Phossa puts him to the cradle capsule]''
::'''Phossa Molybdenum''': ''[last words]'' Will you please forgive us? ''[pushes the cradle into the river]''
::''[The injured Chrom and Phossa hug for the last time]''
::'''Zed''': ''[picks up the device on the ground and smiles evily]'' This is best. All for the best. I will never give up. I will revive this research no matter what it takes. This time, I choose the path. ''[walks away from the burning jeep before the big explosion]''
::''[Flashback ends]''
:''[In the present]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': In this moment, my long-held dream has come true!
:'''Ash''': How could he do that?
:'''Male researcher #2''': It's so cruel.
:'''Sharon''': I never knew any of this.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al, you were a fortunate miscalculation on my part. But if you insist on intruding, I will show no mercy to you OR THE ZARUDE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The jungle Pokémon are gathered under the tree and an injured Dada Zarude arrives falling down to the ground]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[exhales]'' Well, well, hello. ''[struggles to move forward, collapses, grunts and sighs]'' Could you please give me a hand? If this continues, everyone will lose everything. I'm asking all of you for your help.
:'''Nuzleaf''': ''[throws berries at Dada Zarude]'' Nuzleaf!
:'''Dada Zarude''': I know. I don't have the right to ask anything of you. But I have to do my best to help Koko. You see, I'm his father and I must do something. No matter what happens, I have to do my best to protect Koko. You are the friends Koko is so very proud of. Flygon, he says you pick a lot of fights, but you're strong. He says Ninjask is the fastest Pokémon in the jungle. And he says that Cottonee stick together, and don't let go. I know the Zarude can't win this fight by ourselves. But if you combine your strengths with the Zarude, I think we could save both Koko and the jungle. ''[moves his head to the ground]'' Please! I'm asking you to come fight with us. Please. Please! ''I'm begging you!'' ''[sobs]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Zarude troop use Bullet Seed at mecha but it doesn't work]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[laughs]'' You think a few Pokémon and two immature children have even a chance to stop me?!
:'''Ash''': Course, we do! Because we're working together!
:'''Dr. Zed''': How very quaint of you. The world will see that I am right! ''[moves the mecha while the Zarude troop struggle to stop it]'' And now, I will accomplish WHAT THE MOLYBDENUMS COULD NOT!
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, use Quick Attack! Let's go!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Pikachu uses Quick Attack and Koko runs closer to the mecha, but Dr. Zed hits Pikachu and grabs Koko]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[laughs evily]'' What happened to that cockiness from before? Were humans and Pokémon going to stop me? ''[The emergency alarm blares]'' Huh?
:''[The Power Whip appears to break Koko free]''
:'''Koko''': ''[groans]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Pikachu''': Pipi?
:''[Dada Zarude and the jungle Pokémon arrive]''
:'''Koko''': It's Dada.
:'''Pikachu''': Pi...
:'''Ash''': He's got the jungle Pokémon with him.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Water raises the trees.
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': The light shines down and turns trees into jungle.
:'''Elder Zarude''': Of course, the trees are the Pokémon, and that means you are the light.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Do you hear it? The sound of stomping feet?
:'''All Zarude''': ''[growl]'' Do you hear it? The many voices? ''[stomp in unison]'' Zar, Zar, Zar, Zar...
:'''Dr. Zed''': Again? How can they stand against me?!
:'''Dada Zarude''': The jungle's lifeblood, lift up your voices! WITH THE HEART TREE!
:''[The Zarude troop and the jungle Pokémon charge]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': I'll stop you in your tracks! EVERY ONE OF YOU!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[walking and panting]'' I will not let it be over. Not until I prove that I'm right!
:''[Several Zarude spot Dr. Zed and grunt]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gasps]'' He's still alive?
:''[Koko runs after Dr. Zed]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': Wait, Koko! Don't chase him!
:'''Alpha Zarude''': The Elder!
:''[Dr. Zed is running and stops at the fallen tree overlooking a river]
:''[Koko and Dr. Zed fight]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Let me go!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Koko, that's enough! Stop it now!
:'''Alpha Zarude''': What's happening?
:'''Dada Zarude''': Koko's anger has taken over.
:'''Ash''': Koko, Dr. Zed!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[grunts and pushes Koko away]'' Don't mess with me!
:'''Koko''': ''[grumbles and runs again]'' ZA!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[smiles]''
:''[Dr. Zed tries to escape by leaping into the water and Koko traps him with a vine]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Koko''': ''[grunting]''
:'''Ash''': KOKO!
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[angry]'' Let me go! What are you doing?! Weren't you listening to me, Al?!
:'''Koko''': ''[grunts]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': If you think I'm going to let it end here...! Uhhhh! ''[sobs]'' ''[Koko ties the vine to the fallen tree]'' Al?! AL! '''AAAAAAAL!!!'''
:''[Koko and Dada Zarude hug]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''Give it all you've got, but come back. That bridge between humans and Pokémon, you can help create it. I know you can. After all, you're my son, and I'm proud of you.''
:'''Ash''': Koko?
:'''Pikachu''': Pi?
:'''Koko''': Bye, Ash, Pikachu.
:'''Ash''': Hey, I know we'll see you again.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu!
:''[Koko runs away with a bag]''
:''[Pikachu jumps onto Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Ash''': See ya! Goodbye!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines]''
:'''Narrator''': The incredible unpredictable world of Pokémon. They help each other, they help humans, living side-by-side. There may be disagreement, but they're family, connected by so many different bonds. And as many people and Pokémon as there are in this world, there are just as many dreams and adventures. Yes, filled with hope, filled with wonder, the amazing world of Pokémon.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|11819890}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=pokemon_the_movie_secrets_of_the_jungle|title=Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle}}
[[Category:2020 films]]
[[Category:Japanese films]]
[[Category:Anime]]
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]
[[Category:Foreign language films]]
[[Category:Films based on animated television series]]</text>
      <sha1>jkycwx5u7d9bemadkq9rr7c6g37matk</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149119</id>
      <parentid>3149118</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T21:51:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:600:4300:1270:11B2:2665:AA5B:8263</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="30884" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle|Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle]]''''' is a [[wikipedia:2020 in film|2020]] film which is the twenty-third movie in the [[Pokémon]] film series. ''Directed by Tetsuo Yajima.''

==Dialogue==
:''[First lines]''
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Hey, let's go.
:'''Dada Zarude''': Right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dada Zarude''': Hmm?
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Hey, what's that?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I've come here to speak to the Elder about it.
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': ''[sighs]'' Have you forgotten that no one is allowed inside our territory? Have you?!
:''[Dada and Sub-Alpha Zarude are snarling]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': ''[arrives]'' Now, now. It appears to me you've brought something unusual along with you.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Elder.
:'''Elder Zarude''': It is human, correct? And a child, too.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Human? That?
:''[Baby sneezes]''
:''[Several Zarude are groaning]''
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': ''[growls and sniffs]'' Oh, that stinks! It smells like a Stunky's rear end! ''[groans in disgust]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': So, tell me, what do you plan to do with it?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I don't know. But everybody heard it, right? That sound. If I leave it be, it will not survive.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': ''[annoyed]'' That's not our concern! Nobody can break our laws!
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': I'll get rid of it!
:''[Dada and Sub-Alpha Zarude are grunting and growling]''
:'''Zarude #1''': Beat 'em up!
:'''Zarude #2''': Get 'em!
:'''Zarude #3''': Obey the laws!
:'''Zarude #4''': It can't be allowed!
:'''Zarude #5''': Get it out now!
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Water raises the trees. The light shines down and turns the trees into jungle. This revered water raises the Zarude and gives us our rich bounty! Allowing others onto our land means we will wither and vanish! That is the law of the Zarude!
:''[Several Zarude are yelling in agreement]''
:'''Zarude #4''': We are Zarude!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Quit your complaining, I know that.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Then hurry up and...
:'''Dada Zarude''': I'm going to go find its parents.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': What?
:'''Elder Zarude''': Hmm.
:'''Dada Zarude''': I will withdraw from the troop.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Do you know what you're saying?
:'''Dada Zarude''': The law won't apply to me anymore.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': ''[grabs Dada's shoulder and grunts]'' You'll never return again! You'll lose all of your friends!
:''[Dada and Alpha Zarude are aggressively grunting]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': It can't be helped.
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[grunts]''
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': What a piece of work.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': I can't believe it. I thought I could trust you. ''[grumbles]'' '''''YOU TRAITOR!'''''
:'''Dada Zarude''': I'm sorry. ''[leaves his tribe with the baby]''
:'''Alpha Zarude''': ''[growls and thumps the ground with his fists]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': ''[hums in wonder]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': This is Milyfa Town, small and surrounded by jungle. Continuing his journey to become a Pokémon Master with his partner, Pikachu, Ash plans to enter the Forest of Okoya, looking for adventure.
:''[Pikachu jumps onto Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Ash''': Oh, ha! Hey, buddy.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu!
:'''Ash''': Okay, I gotta go.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Delia''': ''[on the video call screen]'' ''One minute!''
:'''Ash''': What, Mom?
:'''Delia''': ''Are you sure you're ready?''
:'''Ash''': I'm all set. I'll be fine. See ya!
:'''Delia''': ''Hold it! That attitude worries me the most! What about potions, extra clothes, and Pikachu's food? You'll need all of them!''
:'''Ash''': ''[sighs]'' You worry too much, Mom.
:'''Delia''': ''That's what being a parent's all about.''
:'''Ash''': Okay, I hear you. I'm hanging up.
:'''Delia''': ''There's that attitude!''
:'''Ash''': Uh...
:'''Delia''': ''If anything bad were to happen to you--''
:'''Ash''': Ah! Somebody's calling me. See ya!
:'''Delia''': ''Huh?''
:''[Ash deactivates the video call screen, leaves the building and runs through the town]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Ash''': Mom could talk until tomorrow if she had the chance.
:'''Pikachu''': Pi.
:'''Ash''': Oh, look at that, buddy.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Ash''': The jungle, it's huge!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Hold on a minute. Is this the first time you've seen a Poké Ball?
:'''Koko''': Za, Za, Zarude.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, What is it?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Koko''': Zarude, Zarude, Zarude.
:'''Ash''': No way! You can actually talk to Pikachu?
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu.
:''[Ash and Pikachu laugh]''
:'''Ash''': Awesome! So, my name's Ash.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pikachu, Pikachu, Pikapi!
:'''Ash''': ''[snickers]''
:'''Koko''': Pikachu, Pikapi.
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]'' You can talk to each other.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Ash''': But my name is Ash. Got it?
:'''Koko''': &quot;Name is Ash&quot;.
:'''Ash''': Yeah.
:'''Koko''': Zarude! ''[celebrates ecstatically]''
:'''Ash''': Hey, then what's your name?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika?
:'''Koko''': ''[grunts]'' Koko.
:'''Pikachu''': Pipi!
:'''Ash''': So your name's Koko. ''[raises his hand]'' Nice to meet you.
:'''Koko''': Zar? Ru...
:'''Ash''': Huh? ''[gasps]''
:''[Koko touches Ash's hand with his]''
:'''Koko''': ''[giggles]'' Za!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Hey, Koko, how far are we going?
:'''Koko''': Zaru-Zaruza.
:'''Skwovet''': ''[arrives]'' Skwovet! Skw, Skw, ''[falls down]'' Skwo, Skwo.
:'''Koko''': Za? Zaru!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwo, Skwovet! Skwovet! Skwovet! ''[imitates Dada Zarude]'' Skwovet! Skwovet! ''[normally]'' Skwovet-vet. ''[gets surprised]'' Skwovet!
:'''Ash''': ''[laughs]'' That one's a cutie.
:'''Koko''': Zaru, Zaru, Za, Zaruza?
:''[Ash and Pikachu get restrained in vines]''
:'''Ash''': Whoa! It's a trap! What's this all about?!
:'''Koko''': Ash! Zaru, Za, Zaru.
:''[Dada Zarude arrives]''
:''[Koko and Dada Zarude are speaking in Zarude language]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': Zarude!
:'''Ash''': A Pokémon?
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu.
:'''Koko''': Koko family.
:'''Ash''': Your family has a Pokémon?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Dada Zarude''': Did you use human language? ''[grunts]'' First, you just vanish without a trace. Now, you bring a human?
:'''Koko''': ''[scoffs]'' You knew all along.
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Koko''': I'm a human, aren't I?
:'''Dada Zarude''': Uh... Mm...
:'''Koko''': Come on, Dada, tell the truth!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[grunts]''
:'''Koko''': I'm human just like him! I'm not a Zarude at all, am I?!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Wrong! You're a Zarude!
:'''Koko''': ''[annoyed]'' Don't lie to me!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[gasps and groans]''
:''[Ash and Pikachu break free from the vines]''
:'''Ash''': ''[grunts and falls down]'' Aaaaaah! Ow. What do you think's going on? They really do look like a family.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Koko''': I brought Ash here so I could show him to you. And there were a lot more people like this back there. They launched something up into the sky that sparkled. Humans and Pokémon watched it together. Smiled together!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet. Skwovet, Skwovet.
:'''Koko''': ''[hits Dada Zarude's chest]'' The Zarude can't do that, you taught me everything! ''[pushes Dada Zarude away]'' You showed me how to get food. How to run, how to swing on vines, ''all'' of it. ''[cries]'' So why? Why didn't you tell me about humans?!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[sighs]'' I didn't want to make you sad.
:'''Koko''': ''[still annoyed and poses Dada Zarude's arm away]'' Don't give me that!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Uh-uh.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Koko''': I thought I was weird for making friends with all the Pokémon, but that wasn't it. It was because I'm human. If it means I can be friends with Pokémon, I'd rather be human!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[sadly]'' Pika.
:'''Dada Zarude''': I knew that this would happen sooner or later. You're exactly right.
:'''Koko''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': You're really a human, and I'm not your real Dada. Now you know.
:'''Koko''': Then tell me who I am!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[uses the vine to climb up a tree]'' Follow me, then.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ash, Pikachu, Koko, Skwovet and Dada Zarude enter the abandoned lab]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': When I found you, it was raining. You were alone, lying in a strange-looking box. And there were no other humans around. You were wearing this when I found you. ''[tosses the Koko's necklace to him]''
:'''Ash''': Uh...
:'''Koko''': Why did you take me with you?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I honestly don't know. I never knew my own family. I really never knew where I came from. You reminded me of me. I couldn't just leave you there. ''[finds an old picture frame and tosses it to Koko]''
:'''Koko''': ''[gasps and sees his parents' picture with himself as a baby]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': The baby in that picture is you. The two large humans are probably your real parents.
:'''Pikachu''': Pipi.
:'''Ash''': They look just like you.
:'''Dada Zarude''': I looked everywhere, trying to give you back to your family, and that's how I found this place. I think this was probably your family's nest. But by the time I found it, it already looked like this. It was then that I realized I would be raising you myself. Looking back, it could be that decision was a mistake. In the end, I still made you sad.
:'''Koko''': Uh-uh.
:'''Dada Zarude''': So that's all. I've told you everything. ''[grunts]'' Now you must decide. Do what you want with this place. ''[leaves the lab using vines to climb up and walks away]''
:'''Koko''': Dada!
:'''Ash''': Koko.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Looking at the two of you, I started thinking about my own dad. When I was little, I told some other kids about my goal, and they laughed at me. But my dad told me something I never forgot. &quot;The map to your goal is inside yourself. If you give up, your dream's never gonna come true&quot;. Now, being on my journey with Pikachu, I'm starting to get what he meant. Don't let it get to you, you're family. ''[grunts]'' You can argue, but then everything will go back to normal in no time. I'll tell you, families sure can be a mystery, huh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[arrives]'' Sorry for the wait. I am the head of this laboratory. My name is Zed. You have a question for me?
:'''Ash''': Uh-huh. My name's Ash, and this is my partner, Pikachu.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu!
:'''Ash''': And this is Koko.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Uh...
:'''Ash''': ''[shows Koko's old family picture frame to Dr. Zed]'' See. We're looking for these people. You know 'em?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Let me see.
:'''Ash''': We thought they might be working here at your lab.
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[surprised]''
:'''Ash''': We think it's a picture of Koko's real parents. I wanna reunite them.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Where did you get this?
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[sighs]'' Then this is Al?
:''[Everyone gasp in surprise]''
:'''Ash''': Al?
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gives the picture frame back to Ash]'' The two adults are Mr. and Mrs. Molybdenum. They used to run this lab. And the child they're holding... ''[shows digital photos]'' ''[Koko hides beneath the table]'' is Al, their son.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Those two were the leaders of the Healing Spring Research Team. You see, the spring was considered only a legend. Although a large number of research labs pursued it, they never actually found it. However, these two were able to discover it in the jungle, and they even obtained a water sample, a historic breakthrough.
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet?
:'''Koko''': Za, Zaruza.
:'''Ash''': Ah, um...
:'''Dr. Zed''': Uh, ha, apologies.
:'''Sharon''': Is that really true?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Correct. That pendant definitely belonged to the Molybdenums. Sharon, scanner, please.
:'''Sharon''': Yes, sir.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al, would you mind?
:'''Koko''': Ah!, ''[jumps back]'' Za, Za!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Huh? What's the problem?
:'''Ash''': Koko was brought up by a Pokémon. He's not good at people language.
:'''Dr. Zed''': He was what? ''[suprised]'' Raised by Pokémon?
:'''Ash''': But it means he's able to talk to other Pokémon.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Unbelievable.
:'''Sharon''': Doctor, here you go. ''[gives the scanner to Dr. Zed]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Thank you. I'd like to know if you're truly Al.
:'''Koko''': Zar.
:'''Dr. Zed''': A scan of your pendent will let me know. Don't worry, it won't hurt you. Relax. ''[uses the scanner in front of Koko's necklace]''
:'''Koko''': Zar!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Don't worry, I won't take it. Please, Sharon. ''[gives the scanner back to Sharon]''
:'''Sharon''': Biometrics are confirmed.
:'''Dr. Zed''': What do you know? Then that means... there is something I must tell this child. Mr. and Mrs. Molybdenum are not here at this lab. Ten years ago, they passed away. 
:'''Ash''': You're kidding.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Unfortunately, I'm not.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Dr. Zed''': It was a car accident. The couple were lost along with their research, and Al went missing. We assumed that he perished as well. But here you are, alive, nothing less than miraculous.
:''[Koko gets sad]''
:'''Ash''': Koko... ''[gives Koko's old family picture frame to him]'' He just said that your parents aren't in our world anymore.
:'''Koko''': Mm.
:'''Female researcher''': Sharon, the data is up.
:'''Sharon''': Thanks. ''[uses the tablet]'' Doctor.
:'''Dr. Zed''': What did you find? Put it up on the screen.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Sharon''': Sir.
:'''Ash''': Is everything all right?
:'''Dr. Zed''': It seems the data we all thought was lost was stored inside Al's pendant. Nearly all of it's corrupted, except for...
:'''Sharon''': On screen.
:''[The projector hums on]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Can it be?
:'''Koko''': ''[surprised]'' Za!
:''[the projector shows the photo of the Heart Tree]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': The healing spring.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Skwovet''': ''[trembles]'' Skwo, ''[calms down]'' Skwovet.
:'''Ash''': What is it, Koko?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Could he have a clue as to its location?
:'''Ash''': Of course, the jungle is Koko's home.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al, ''[puts his hands on Koko's shoulder]'' if you know something, you must tell me. Do it for your parents' dream. Do it for them!
:'''Koko''': ''[denies]'' Uh-uh. ''[grunts and leaves the lab]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwo! ''[follows Koko]'' Skwovet!
:'''Ash''': Koko! I'm sorry, gotta go. ''[runs after Koko]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pi. ''[jumps onto Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Sharon''': Doctor?
:'''Ash''': Koko! Wait up, Koko. I'll go with you.
:'''Koko''': ''[poses Ash's hand away, groans and runs off]'' Zarude!
:'''Ash''': Koko!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet! Skwo, Skwo, Skwo. ''[panics]'' Skwovet! Skwo! ''[runs after Koko]'' Skwovet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Koko''': All of those people know who I am. ''[sees the old family's picture frame]'' Why was I left in the forest? Was it because I couldn't be with them anymore? Was it because they had to leave me there? ''[soft groans and finds a small disc on his shoulder]'' What is this?
:''[a loud explosion appears]''
:'''Koko''': ''[gasps]''
:''[Dr. Zed on a motorcycle with several trucks and a giant spider-tank mecha in tow arrive]''
:'''Koko''': It's him.
:'''Female researcher''': Oh, it really is here.
:'''Sharon''': Wow, Doctor!
:'''Male researcher #1''': Excellent.
:'''Male researcher #2''': We found it!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Yes, there's no doubt. It's the healing spring, and this is its source.
:'''Jessie''': Look, it's that tree.
:'''Meowth''': Yeah, the same tree in the picture.
:'''Koko''': ''[washes down from the tree and yells at Dr. Zed]'' Zaru, Zaru, Zaruza!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al! You made it possible. Hey, uh, ''[points a his shoulder]'' no hard feelings.
:'''Koko''': ''[looks at his shoulder realizing that Dr. Zed had put a tracking chip on it instead of putting his hands]'' Ah! ''[snarls]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': You wouldn't understand.
:'''Sharon''': Forgive us, we didn't wanna have to do this. We're sorry, we mean no harm.
:'''Koko''': ''[tries to attack Dr. Zed but the giant spider-tank mecha grabs him]'' Zar! Zar!
:'''Pilot''': ''[inside the spider-tank mecha]'' What do we do with him, Doctor?
:'''Dr. Zed''': We have no choice. He'll come with us. We wouldn't want him to attack us again.
:'''Koko''': ''[still grunting]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Thunderbolt appears on mecha and breaks Koko free]''
:'''Koko''': Zaru!
:'''Dr. Zed''': What happened?
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet arrive]''
:'''Ash''': What's going on? What is all this supposed to mean?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Forgive us, but we decided to use you. How could we not when we found what we've been searching for?
:'''Koko''': Za, Zaruza?
:'''Skwovet''': Skwo, Skwovet.
:'''Ash''': ''[to Koko]'' Wanna know why we came along? That's what friends do.
:'''Koko''': &quot;What friends do&quot;. ''[smiles]'' Hmm.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu. Pi! ''[uses his tail to attack String Shot move by Ariados]'' Pika!
:''[Ash, Koko, Pikachu and Skwovet get captured in Ariados's String Shot, all yelp]''
:'''Jessie, James and Meowth''': Wow.
:'''Ash''': What are you doing?!
:'''Dr. Zed''': I beg your forgiveness.
:''[Ash, Koko, Pikachu and Skwovet are thrown and imprisoned inside a vehicle]''
:'''Male researcher #3''': Just keep quiet, okay? ''[closes the door]''
:'''Ash''': Hey, wait! ''[grunts and jumps to the door]'' Let us outta here!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ash, Pikachu, Koko, Skwovet, Dada and Alpha Zarude arrive at the Heart Tree]''
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Elder.
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': Hey, pull yourself together.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': The ones who are ripping up the forest are humans. My wounds are insignificant. Can't say the same for him. I have no idea why, but this human child actually fought alongside us. The one Koko called &quot;friend&quot;.
:'''Elder Zarude''': First and foremost, we stop the destruction of the jungle.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sharon''': Up close, you can feel its power.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Yes. How beautiful it is.
:'''Female researcher''': Doctor, over there! The Pokémon from before!
:'''Sharon''': It must be their nest.
:'''Male researcher #2''': It's a match!
:'''Male researcher #1''': Doctor, it's identical to the sample.
:'''Sharon''': We've done it. We have location data too.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Please, do a scan of the giant tree.
:'''Sharon''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Right now.
:'''Sharon''': Sir. ''[uses the tablet with the satellite vehicle to scan the tree]'' What is that? We've detected enormous energy in the center.
:'''Dr. Zed''': That's the true nature of its healing power.
:''[Sharon and female researcher gasp]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[to pilot]'' I want you to shoot the anchor into the tree.
:'''Pilot''': But, uh, are you sure?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Do it!
:'''Pilot''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sharon''': Please, wait. No! ''[tries to stop the pilot]''
:''[The spider-tank mecha blasts two missiles at the Heart Tree]''
:''[Several Zarude find out about the explosion of the Heart Tree and gasp]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': They're taking this to the extreme.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': The Heart Tree.
:''[One of Zarude screams with anguish]''
:'''Sharon''': Doctor, aren't we here for the spring? Keep this up, and those Pokémon--
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[interrupts Sharon and laughs]'' Wrong again. My objective isn't the spring. Healing power is nothing more than bits of energy carried by water rushing through the tree. My objective is the tree itself.
:'''Sharon''': And to that end...
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[smiles evily]'' Right, I couldn't care less what is sacrificed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Alpha Zarude''': We can't just sit around quietly in defeat. Any of you who can fight, follow me!
:''[All Zarude roar]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': You can't, you think you can win against that thing?
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Huh?
:'''Dada Zarude''': If you fight them head on, you'll get everyone hurt.
:'''Koko''': But, Dada...
:'''Alpha Zarude''': So you're saying do nothing? How do we protect the tree without fighting?
:'''Dada Zarude''': Hmm, but...
:'''Alpha Zarude''': We are Zarude! We are the strong ones! We have no fear! The jungle's lifeblood, LIFT UP YOUR VOICES!
:''[The Zarude troop are growling]''
:'''Ash''': Amazing.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': LET'S GO! FOR THE HEART TREE!
:''[Alpha and the Zarude troop run off]''
:'''Zarude troop''': Zarude!
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, let's go too!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet run off too]''
:'''Koko''': Dada, you just rest here.
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[grabs Koko's arm and grunts]'' Take the human child and run. You can't win this.
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet stop and look at Koko and Dada Zarude]''
:'''Koko''': But the jungle Pokémon, what happens to them?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I just couldn't bear to lose you.
:'''Koko''': I know that. That's why I fight! ''[poses Dada Zarude's arm away, grunts and runs off]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': Koko!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet follow Koko]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[collapses on the ground and groans]'' I should have known. How can I protect the Pokémon... protect our home, protect everyone? How can I protect ''Koko''?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Male researcher #1''': Yes, but aren't you taking this too far?
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gets enraged, pushes the researcher away and grunts]''
:'''Sharon''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': I've gone over this in my mind, ''over and over''. ''[grunts]'' So why did they do this?!
::''[In the flashback]''
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': Humans and Pokémon share the same life force.
:''[In the present]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Why won't they understand mine is the correct path? ''It's right here under their noses!''
:''[All researchers are quiet]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': You're all the same.
:''[The Zarude troop arrive]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Zarude. Lots of them.
:'''Male researcher #1''': &quot;Zarude&quot;?
:'''Female researcher''': They've come for revenge.
:'''Sharon''': We've rekindled their rage.
:''[Ash, Pikachu, Koko and Skwovet arrive as well]''
:'''Ash''': Dr. Zed, now look at what you've done!
:'''Sharon''': We're sorry. We'll be leaving right away
:''[Dr. Zed throws the pilot out of the spider-tank mecha and enters]''
:''[All researchers gasp]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': We will not be leaving. I will show you the truth path. ''[shows his true colors to Koko]'' I'm afraid your parents made the wrong decision, Al!
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': And they paid the ultimate price in the end.
::''[In the flashback]''
::'''Zed''': Boss. I think I deserve an explanation.
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': Look, Zed. It turns out the source of the healing power is a great body of energy within the tree.
::'''Phossa Molybdenum''': But there are Pokémon called Zarude who live on that giant tree. There's no doubt that tree is special to the Zarude.
::'''Zed''': I ask you to reconsider. We've searched for it so long, and now we've found it!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': We're suspending operations until we find a way to resolve this for the good of both humans and Pokémon.
::'''Zed''': ''[grunts and puts hard his hands on Chrom's shoulder]'' Stopping for a bunch of Pokémon?! ''What is the matter with you?!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': ''[touches Zed's hand]'' Humans and Pokémon share the same life force. ''[poses Zed's hand away]'' We share the same world. I'm making the right decision, Zed. I know it.
:''[In the present]''
:''[Team Rocket in Zed's office]''
:'''James''': Here's a video blog from ten years ago.
:'''Jessie''': Ooh, let's watch.
:'''James''': Sure. ''[plays the video blog]''
:'''Zed''': '' ''[sighs]'' Operations are suspended on the Healing Spring Project, though we could save countless people with the power of that spring. ''[grumbles]'' And all for some worthless Pokémon. ''[throws tantrum]'' THE DECISION IS WRONG, I TELL YOU! ''[breathes aggressively]'' If I were in charge, I could lead this research down the path to truth. My way is correct! If only I had the power, I could prove to everyone that my way is the right way. ''[hits the table with his hand]'' Yes, yes, I can. If the Molybdenums weren't around...''
::''[In the flashback]''
::''[Chrom and Phossa are driving the jeep with their crying baby Al/Koko while Zed in another jeep pursues them]''
::'''Zed''': Come on, you two, where is the data?!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': We erased it!
::'''Zed''': But why?!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': ''[last words]'' It's to protect them!
::'''Zed''': ''[angry]'' UNACCEPTABLE!!
::''[Zed runs Chrom and Phossa off the road causing a fiery accident and explosion]''
::''[Baby Al/Koko is still crying, Phossa puts him to the cradle capsule]''
::'''Phossa Molybdenum''': ''[last words]'' Will you please forgive us? ''[pushes the cradle into the river]''
::''[The injured Chrom and Phossa hug for the last time]''
::'''Zed''': ''[picks up the device on the ground and smiles evily]'' This is best. All for the best. I will never give up. I will revive this research no matter what it takes. This time, I choose the path. ''[walks away from the burning jeep before the big explosion]''
::''[Flashback ends]''
:''[In the present]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': In this moment, my long-held dream has come true!
:'''Ash''': How could he do that?
:'''Male researcher #2''': It's so cruel.
:'''Sharon''': I never knew any of this.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al, you were a fortunate miscalculation on my part. But if you insist on intruding, I will show no mercy to you OR THE ZARUDE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The jungle Pokémon are gathered under the tree and an injured Dada Zarude arrives falling down to the ground]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[exhales]'' Well, well, hello. ''[struggles to move forward, collapses, grunts and sighs]'' Could you please give me a hand? If this continues, everyone will lose everything. I'm asking all of you for your help.
:'''Nuzleaf''': ''[throws berries at Dada Zarude]'' Nuzleaf!
:'''Dada Zarude''': I know. I don't have the right to ask anything of you. But I have to do my best to help Koko. You see, I'm his father and I must do something. No matter what happens, I have to do my best to protect Koko. You are the friends Koko is so very proud of. Flygon, he says you pick a lot of fights, but you're strong. He says Ninjask is the fastest Pokémon in the jungle. And he says that Cottonee stick together, and don't let go. I know the Zarude can't win this fight by ourselves. But if you combine your strengths with the Zarude, I think we could save both Koko and the jungle. ''[moves his head to the ground]'' Please! I'm asking you to come fight with us. Please. Please! ''I'm begging you!'' ''[sobs]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Zarude troop use Bullet Seed at mecha but it doesn't work]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[laughs]'' You think a few Pokémon and two immature children have even a chance to stop me?!
:'''Ash''': Course, we do! Because we're working together!
:'''Dr. Zed''': How very quaint of you. The world will see that I am right! ''[moves the mecha while the Zarude troop struggle to stop it]'' And now, I will accomplish WHAT THE MOLYBDENUMS COULD NOT!
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, use Quick Attack! Let's go!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Pikachu uses Quick Attack and Koko runs closer to the mecha, but Dr. Zed hits Pikachu and grabs Koko]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[laughs evily]'' What happened to that cockiness from before? Were humans and Pokémon going to stop me? ''[The emergency alarm blares]'' Huh?
:''[The Power Whip appears to break Koko free]''
:'''Koko''': ''[groans]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Pikachu''': Pipi?
:''[Dada Zarude and the jungle Pokémon arrive]''
:'''Koko''': It's Dada.
:'''Pikachu''': Pi...
:'''Ash''': He's got the jungle Pokémon with him.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Water raises the trees.
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': The light shines down and turns trees into jungle.
:'''Elder Zarude''': Of course, the trees are the Pokémon, and that means you are the light.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Do you hear it? The sound of stomping feet?
:'''All Zarude''': ''[growl]'' Do you hear it? The many voices? ''[stomp in unison]'' Zar, Zar, Zar, Zar...
:'''Dr. Zed''': Again? How can they stand against me?!
:'''Dada Zarude''': The jungle's lifeblood, lift up your voices! WITH THE HEART TREE!
:''[The Zarude troop and the jungle Pokémon charge]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': I'll stop you in your tracks! EVERY ONE OF YOU!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[walking and panting]'' I will not let it be over. Not until I prove that I'm right!
:''[Several Zarude spot Dr. Zed and grunt]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gasps]'' He's still alive?
:''[Koko runs after Dr. Zed]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': Wait, Koko! Don't chase him!
:'''Alpha Zarude''': The Elder!
:''[Dr. Zed is running and stops at the fallen tree overlooking a river]
:''[Koko and Dr. Zed fight]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Let me go!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Koko, that's enough! Stop it now!
:'''Alpha Zarude''': What's happening?
:'''Dada Zarude''': Koko's anger has taken over.
:'''Ash''': Koko, Dr. Zed!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[grunts and pushes Koko away]'' Don't mess with me!
:'''Koko''': ''[grumbles and runs again]'' ZA!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[smiles]''
:''[Dr. Zed tries to escape by leaping into the water and Koko traps him with a vine]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Koko''': ''[grunting]''
:'''Ash''': KOKO!
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[angry]'' Let me go! What are you doing?! Weren't you listening to me, Al?!
:'''Koko''': ''[grunts]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': If you think I'm going to let it end here...! Uhhhh! ''[sobs]'' ''[Koko ties the vine to the fallen tree]'' Al?! AL! '''AAAAAAAL!!!'''
:''[Koko and Dada Zarude hug]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''Give it all you've got, but come back. That bridge between humans and Pokémon, you can help create it. I know you can. After all, you're my son, and I'm proud of you.''
:'''Ash''': Koko?
:'''Pikachu''': Pi?
:'''Koko''': Bye, Ash, Pikachu.
:'''Ash''': Hey, I know we'll see you again.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu!
:''[Koko runs away with a bag]''
:''[Pikachu jumps onto Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Ash''': See ya! Goodbye!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines]''
:'''Narrator''': The incredible unpredictable world of Pokémon. They help each other, they help humans, living side-by-side. There may be disagreement, but they're family, connected by so many different bonds. And as many people and Pokémon as there are in this world, there are just as many dreams and adventures. Yes, filled with hope, filled with wonder, the amazing world of Pokémon.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|11819890}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=pokemon_the_movie_secrets_of_the_jungle|title=Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle}}
[[Category:2020 films]]
[[Category:Japanese films]]
[[Category:Anime]]
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]
[[Category:Foreign language films]]
[[Category:Films based on animated television series]]</text>
      <sha1>195lzzjpnk5sbgu6ryvrotin1tpnyeh</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149122</id>
      <parentid>3149119</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T21:55:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:600:4300:1270:11B2:2665:AA5B:8263</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="30895" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle|Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle]]''''' is a [[wikipedia:2020 in film|2020]] film which is the twenty-third movie in the [[Pokémon]] film series. ''Directed by Tetsuo Yajima.''

==Dialogue==
:''[First lines]''
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Hey, let's go.
:'''Dada Zarude''': Right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dada Zarude''': Hmm?
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Hey, what's that?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I've come here to speak to the Elder about it.
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': ''[sighs]'' Have you forgotten that no one is allowed inside our territory? Have you?!
:''[Dada and Sub-Alpha Zarude are snarling]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': ''[arrives]'' Now, now. It appears to me you've brought something unusual along with you.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Elder.
:'''Elder Zarude''': It is human, correct? And a child, too.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Human? That?
:''[Baby sneezes]''
:''[Several Zarude are groaning]''
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': ''[growls and sniffs]'' Oh, that stinks! It smells like a Stunky's rear end! ''[groans in disgust]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': So, tell me, what do you plan to do with it?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I don't know. But everybody heard it, right? That sound. If I leave it be, it will not survive.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': ''[annoyed]'' That's not our concern! Nobody can break our laws!
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': I'll get rid of it!
:''[Dada and Sub-Alpha Zarude are grunting and growling]''
:'''Zarude #1''': Beat 'em up!
:'''Zarude #2''': Get 'em!
:'''Zarude #3''': Obey the laws!
:'''Zarude #4''': It can't be allowed!
:'''Zarude #5''': Get it out now!
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Water raises the trees. The light shines down and turns the trees into jungle. This revered water raises the Zarude and gives us our rich bounty! Allowing others onto our land means we will wither and vanish! That is the law of the Zarude!
:''[Several Zarude are yelling in agreement]''
:'''Zarude #4''': We are Zarude!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Quit your complaining, I know that.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Then hurry up and...
:'''Dada Zarude''': I'm going to go find its parents.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': What?!
:'''Elder Zarude''': Hmm.
:'''Dada Zarude''': I will withdraw from the troop.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Do you know what you're saying?
:'''Dada Zarude''': The law won't apply to me anymore.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': ''[grabs Dada's shoulder and grunts]'' '''''YOU'LL NEVER RETURN AGAIN! YOU'LL lOSE ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!'''''
:''[Dada and Alpha Zarude are aggressively grunting]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': It can't be helped.
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[grunts]''
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': What a piece of work.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': I can't believe it. I thought I could trust you. ''[grumbles]'' '''''YOU TRAITOR!'''''
:'''Dada Zarude''': I'm sorry. ''[leaves his tribe with the baby]''
:'''Alpha Zarude''': ''[growls and thumps the ground with his fists]''
:'''Elder Zarude''': ''[hums in wonder]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': This is Milyfa Town, small and surrounded by jungle. Continuing his journey to become a Pokémon Master with his partner, Pikachu, Ash plans to enter the Forest of Okoya, looking for adventure.
:''[Pikachu jumps onto Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Ash''': Oh, ha! Hey, buddy.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu!
:'''Ash''': Okay, I gotta go.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Delia''': ''[on the video call screen]'' ''One minute!''
:'''Ash''': What, Mom?
:'''Delia''': ''Are you sure you're ready?''
:'''Ash''': I'm all set. I'll be fine. See ya!
:'''Delia''': ''Hold it! That attitude worries me the most! What about potions, extra clothes, and Pikachu's food? You'll need all of them!''
:'''Ash''': ''[sighs]'' You worry too much, Mom.
:'''Delia''': ''That's what being a parent's all about.''
:'''Ash''': Okay, I hear you. I'm hanging up.
:'''Delia''': ''There's that attitude!''
:'''Ash''': Uh...
:'''Delia''': ''If anything bad were to happen to you--''
:'''Ash''': Ah! Somebody's calling me. See ya!
:'''Delia''': ''Huh?''
:''[Ash deactivates the video call screen, leaves the building and runs through the town]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Ash''': Mom could talk until tomorrow if she had the chance.
:'''Pikachu''': Pi.
:'''Ash''': Oh, look at that, buddy.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Ash''': The jungle, it's huge!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Hold on a minute. Is this the first time you've seen a Poké Ball?
:'''Koko''': Za, Za, Zarude.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, What is it?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Koko''': Zarude, Zarude, Zarude.
:'''Ash''': No way! You can actually talk to Pikachu?
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu.
:''[Ash and Pikachu laugh]''
:'''Ash''': Awesome! So, my name's Ash.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pikachu, Pikachu, Pikapi!
:'''Ash''': ''[snickers]''
:'''Koko''': Pikachu, Pikapi.
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]'' You can talk to each other.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!
:'''Ash''': But my name is Ash. Got it?
:'''Koko''': &quot;Name is Ash&quot;.
:'''Ash''': Yeah.
:'''Koko''': Zarude! ''[celebrates ecstatically]''
:'''Ash''': Hey, then what's your name?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika?
:'''Koko''': ''[grunts]'' Koko.
:'''Pikachu''': Pipi!
:'''Ash''': So your name's Koko. ''[raises his hand]'' Nice to meet you.
:'''Koko''': Zar? Ru...
:'''Ash''': Huh? ''[gasps]''
:''[Koko touches Ash's hand with his]''
:'''Koko''': ''[giggles]'' Za!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Hey, Koko, how far are we going?
:'''Koko''': Zaru-Zaruza.
:'''Skwovet''': ''[arrives]'' Skwovet! Skw, Skw, ''[falls down]'' Skwo, Skwo.
:'''Koko''': Za? Zaru!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwo, Skwovet! Skwovet! Skwovet! ''[imitates Dada Zarude]'' Skwovet! Skwovet! ''[normally]'' Skwovet-vet. ''[gets surprised]'' Skwovet!
:'''Ash''': ''[laughs]'' That one's a cutie.
:'''Koko''': Zaru, Zaru, Za, Zaruza?
:''[Ash and Pikachu get restrained in vines]''
:'''Ash''': Whoa! It's a trap! What's this all about?!
:'''Koko''': Ash! Zaru, Za, Zaru.
:''[Dada Zarude arrives]''
:''[Koko and Dada Zarude are speaking in Zarude language]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': Zarude!
:'''Ash''': A Pokémon?
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu.
:'''Koko''': Koko family.
:'''Ash''': Your family has a Pokémon?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Dada Zarude''': Did you use human language? ''[grunts]'' First, you just vanish without a trace. Now, you bring a human?
:'''Koko''': ''[scoffs]'' You knew all along.
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Koko''': I'm a human, aren't I?
:'''Dada Zarude''': Uh... Mm...
:'''Koko''': Come on, Dada, tell the truth!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[grunts]''
:'''Koko''': I'm human just like him! I'm not a Zarude at all, am I?!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Wrong! You're a Zarude!
:'''Koko''': ''[annoyed]'' Don't lie to me!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[gasps and groans]''
:''[Ash and Pikachu break free from the vines]''
:'''Ash''': ''[grunts and falls down]'' Aaaaaah! Ow. What do you think's going on? They really do look like a family.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Koko''': I brought Ash here so I could show him to you. And there were a lot more people like this back there. They launched something up into the sky that sparkled. Humans and Pokémon watched it together. Smiled together!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet. Skwovet, Skwovet.
:'''Koko''': ''[hits Dada Zarude's chest]'' The Zarude can't do that, you taught me everything! ''[pushes Dada Zarude away]'' You showed me how to get food. How to run, how to swing on vines, ''all'' of it. ''[cries]'' So why? Why didn't you tell me about humans?!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[sighs]'' I didn't want to make you sad.
:'''Koko''': ''[still annoyed and poses Dada Zarude's arm away]'' Don't give me that!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Uh-uh.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Koko''': I thought I was weird for making friends with all the Pokémon, but that wasn't it. It was because I'm human. If it means I can be friends with Pokémon, I'd rather be human!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[sadly]'' Pika.
:'''Dada Zarude''': I knew that this would happen sooner or later. You're exactly right.
:'''Koko''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': You're really a human, and I'm not your real Dada. Now you know.
:'''Koko''': Then tell me who I am!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[uses the vine to climb up a tree]'' Follow me, then.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ash, Pikachu, Koko, Skwovet and Dada Zarude enter the abandoned lab]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': When I found you, it was raining. You were alone, lying in a strange-looking box. And there were no other humans around. You were wearing this when I found you. ''[tosses the Koko's necklace to him]''
:'''Ash''': Uh...
:'''Koko''': Why did you take me with you?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I honestly don't know. I never knew my own family. I really never knew where I came from. You reminded me of me. I couldn't just leave you there. ''[finds an old picture frame and tosses it to Koko]''
:'''Koko''': ''[gasps and sees his parents' picture with himself as a baby]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': The baby in that picture is you. The two large humans are probably your real parents.
:'''Pikachu''': Pipi.
:'''Ash''': They look just like you.
:'''Dada Zarude''': I looked everywhere, trying to give you back to your family, and that's how I found this place. I think this was probably your family's nest. But by the time I found it, it already looked like this. It was then that I realized I would be raising you myself. Looking back, it could be that decision was a mistake. In the end, I still made you sad.
:'''Koko''': Uh-uh.
:'''Dada Zarude''': So that's all. I've told you everything. ''[grunts]'' Now you must decide. Do what you want with this place. ''[leaves the lab using vines to climb up and walks away]''
:'''Koko''': Dada!
:'''Ash''': Koko.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ash''': Looking at the two of you, I started thinking about my own dad. When I was little, I told some other kids about my goal, and they laughed at me. But my dad told me something I never forgot. &quot;The map to your goal is inside yourself. If you give up, your dream's never gonna come true&quot;. Now, being on my journey with Pikachu, I'm starting to get what he meant. Don't let it get to you, you're family. ''[grunts]'' You can argue, but then everything will go back to normal in no time. I'll tell you, families sure can be a mystery, huh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[arrives]'' Sorry for the wait. I am the head of this laboratory. My name is Zed. You have a question for me?
:'''Ash''': Uh-huh. My name's Ash, and this is my partner, Pikachu.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu!
:'''Ash''': And this is Koko.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Uh...
:'''Ash''': ''[shows Koko's old family picture frame to Dr. Zed]'' See. We're looking for these people. You know 'em?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Let me see.
:'''Ash''': We thought they might be working here at your lab.
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[surprised]''
:'''Ash''': We think it's a picture of Koko's real parents. I wanna reunite them.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Where did you get this?
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[sighs]'' Then this is Al?
:''[Everyone gasp in surprise]''
:'''Ash''': Al?
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gives the picture frame back to Ash]'' The two adults are Mr. and Mrs. Molybdenum. They used to run this lab. And the child they're holding... ''[shows digital photos]'' ''[Koko hides beneath the table]'' is Al, their son.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Those two were the leaders of the Healing Spring Research Team. You see, the spring was considered only a legend. Although a large number of research labs pursued it, they never actually found it. However, these two were able to discover it in the jungle, and they even obtained a water sample, a historic breakthrough.
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet?
:'''Koko''': Za, Zaruza.
:'''Ash''': Ah, um...
:'''Dr. Zed''': Uh, ha, apologies.
:'''Sharon''': Is that really true?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Correct. That pendant definitely belonged to the Molybdenums. Sharon, scanner, please.
:'''Sharon''': Yes, sir.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al, would you mind?
:'''Koko''': Ah!, ''[jumps back]'' Za, Za!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Huh? What's the problem?
:'''Ash''': Koko was brought up by a Pokémon. He's not good at people language.
:'''Dr. Zed''': He was what? ''[suprised]'' Raised by Pokémon?
:'''Ash''': But it means he's able to talk to other Pokémon.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Unbelievable.
:'''Sharon''': Doctor, here you go. ''[gives the scanner to Dr. Zed]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Thank you. I'd like to know if you're truly Al.
:'''Koko''': Zar.
:'''Dr. Zed''': A scan of your pendent will let me know. Don't worry, it won't hurt you. Relax. ''[uses the scanner in front of Koko's necklace]''
:'''Koko''': Zar!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Don't worry, I won't take it. Please, Sharon. ''[gives the scanner back to Sharon]''
:'''Sharon''': Biometrics are confirmed.
:'''Dr. Zed''': What do you know? Then that means... there is something I must tell this child. Mr. and Mrs. Molybdenum are not here at this lab. Ten years ago, they passed away. 
:'''Ash''': You're kidding.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Unfortunately, I'm not.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Dr. Zed''': It was a car accident. The couple were lost along with their research, and Al went missing. We assumed that he perished as well. But here you are, alive, nothing less than miraculous.
:''[Koko gets sad]''
:'''Ash''': Koko... ''[gives Koko's old family picture frame to him]'' He just said that your parents aren't in our world anymore.
:'''Koko''': Mm.
:'''Female researcher''': Sharon, the data is up.
:'''Sharon''': Thanks. ''[uses the tablet]'' Doctor.
:'''Dr. Zed''': What did you find? Put it up on the screen.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Sharon''': Sir.
:'''Ash''': Is everything all right?
:'''Dr. Zed''': It seems the data we all thought was lost was stored inside Al's pendant. Nearly all of it's corrupted, except for...
:'''Sharon''': On screen.
:''[The projector hums on]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Can it be?
:'''Koko''': ''[surprised]'' Za!
:''[the projector shows the photo of the Heart Tree]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': The healing spring.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?
:'''Skwovet''': ''[trembles]'' Skwo, ''[calms down]'' Skwovet.
:'''Ash''': What is it, Koko?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Could he have a clue as to its location?
:'''Ash''': Of course, the jungle is Koko's home.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al, ''[puts his hands on Koko's shoulder]'' if you know something, you must tell me. Do it for your parents' dream. Do it for them!
:'''Koko''': ''[denies]'' Uh-uh. ''[grunts and leaves the lab]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwo! ''[follows Koko]'' Skwovet!
:'''Ash''': Koko! I'm sorry, gotta go. ''[runs after Koko]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pi. ''[jumps onto Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Sharon''': Doctor?
:'''Ash''': Koko! Wait up, Koko. I'll go with you.
:'''Koko''': ''[poses Ash's hand away, groans and runs off]'' Zarude!
:'''Ash''': Koko!
:'''Skwovet''': Skwovet! Skwo, Skwo, Skwo. ''[panics]'' Skwovet! Skwo! ''[runs after Koko]'' Skwovet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Koko''': All of those people know who I am. ''[sees the old family's picture frame]'' Why was I left in the forest? Was it because I couldn't be with them anymore? Was it because they had to leave me there? ''[soft groans and finds a small disc on his shoulder]'' What is this?
:''[a loud explosion appears]''
:'''Koko''': ''[gasps]''
:''[Dr. Zed on a motorcycle with several trucks and a giant spider-tank mecha in tow arrive]''
:'''Koko''': It's him.
:'''Female researcher''': Oh, it really is here.
:'''Sharon''': Wow, Doctor!
:'''Male researcher #1''': Excellent.
:'''Male researcher #2''': We found it!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Yes, there's no doubt. It's the healing spring, and this is its source.
:'''Jessie''': Look, it's that tree.
:'''Meowth''': Yeah, the same tree in the picture.
:'''Koko''': ''[washes down from the tree and yells at Dr. Zed]'' Zaru, Zaru, Zaruza!
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al! You made it possible. Hey, uh, ''[points a his shoulder]'' no hard feelings.
:'''Koko''': ''[looks at his shoulder realizing that Dr. Zed had put a tracking chip on it instead of putting his hands]'' Ah! ''[snarls]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': You wouldn't understand.
:'''Sharon''': Forgive us, we didn't wanna have to do this. We're sorry, we mean no harm.
:'''Koko''': ''[tries to attack Dr. Zed but the giant spider-tank mecha grabs him]'' Zar! Zar!
:'''Pilot''': ''[inside the spider-tank mecha]'' What do we do with him, Doctor?
:'''Dr. Zed''': We have no choice. He'll come with us. We wouldn't want him to attack us again.
:'''Koko''': ''[still grunting]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Thunderbolt appears on mecha and breaks Koko free]''
:'''Koko''': Zaru!
:'''Dr. Zed''': What happened?
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet arrive]''
:'''Ash''': What's going on? What is all this supposed to mean?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Forgive us, but we decided to use you. How could we not when we found what we've been searching for?
:'''Koko''': Za, Zaruza?
:'''Skwovet''': Skwo, Skwovet.
:'''Ash''': ''[to Koko]'' Wanna know why we came along? That's what friends do.
:'''Koko''': &quot;What friends do&quot;. ''[smiles]'' Hmm.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu. Pi! ''[uses his tail to attack String Shot move by Ariados]'' Pika!
:''[Ash, Koko, Pikachu and Skwovet get captured in Ariados's String Shot, all yelp]''
:'''Jessie, James and Meowth''': Wow.
:'''Ash''': What are you doing?!
:'''Dr. Zed''': I beg your forgiveness.
:''[Ash, Koko, Pikachu and Skwovet are thrown and imprisoned inside a vehicle]''
:'''Male researcher #3''': Just keep quiet, okay? ''[closes the door]''
:'''Ash''': Hey, wait! ''[grunts and jumps to the door]'' Let us outta here!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ash, Pikachu, Koko, Skwovet, Dada and Alpha Zarude arrive at the Heart Tree]''
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Elder.
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': Hey, pull yourself together.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': The ones who are ripping up the forest are humans. My wounds are insignificant. Can't say the same for him. I have no idea why, but this human child actually fought alongside us. The one Koko called &quot;friend&quot;.
:'''Elder Zarude''': First and foremost, we stop the destruction of the jungle.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sharon''': Up close, you can feel its power.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Yes. How beautiful it is.
:'''Female researcher''': Doctor, over there! The Pokémon from before!
:'''Sharon''': It must be their nest.
:'''Male researcher #2''': It's a match!
:'''Male researcher #1''': Doctor, it's identical to the sample.
:'''Sharon''': We've done it. We have location data too.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Please, do a scan of the giant tree.
:'''Sharon''': Huh?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Right now.
:'''Sharon''': Sir. ''[uses the tablet with the satellite vehicle to scan the tree]'' What is that? We've detected enormous energy in the center.
:'''Dr. Zed''': That's the true nature of its healing power.
:''[Sharon and female researcher gasp]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[to pilot]'' I want you to shoot the anchor into the tree.
:'''Pilot''': But, uh, are you sure?
:'''Dr. Zed''': Do it!
:'''Pilot''': Yes, sir.
:'''Sharon''': Please, wait. No! ''[tries to stop the pilot]''
:''[The spider-tank mecha blasts two missiles at the Heart Tree]''
:''[Several Zarude find out about the explosion of the Heart Tree and gasp]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': They're taking this to the extreme.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': The Heart Tree.
:''[One of Zarude screams with anguish]''
:'''Sharon''': Doctor, aren't we here for the spring? Keep this up, and those Pokémon--
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[interrupts Sharon and laughs]'' Wrong again. My objective isn't the spring. Healing power is nothing more than bits of energy carried by water rushing through the tree. My objective is the tree itself.
:'''Sharon''': And to that end...
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[smiles evily]'' Right, I couldn't care less what is sacrificed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Alpha Zarude''': We can't just sit around quietly in defeat. Any of you who can fight, follow me!
:''[All Zarude roar]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': You can't, you think you can win against that thing?
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Huh?
:'''Dada Zarude''': If you fight them head on, you'll get everyone hurt.
:'''Koko''': But, Dada...
:'''Alpha Zarude''': So you're saying do nothing? How do we protect the tree without fighting?
:'''Dada Zarude''': Hmm, but...
:'''Alpha Zarude''': We are Zarude! We are the strong ones! We have no fear! The jungle's lifeblood, LIFT UP YOUR VOICES!
:''[The Zarude troop are growling]''
:'''Ash''': Amazing.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': LET'S GO! FOR THE HEART TREE!
:''[Alpha and the Zarude troop run off]''
:'''Zarude troop''': Zarude!
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, let's go too!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet run off too]''
:'''Koko''': Dada, you just rest here.
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[grabs Koko's arm and grunts]'' Take the human child and run. You can't win this.
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet stop and look at Koko and Dada Zarude]''
:'''Koko''': But the jungle Pokémon, what happens to them?
:'''Dada Zarude''': I just couldn't bear to lose you.
:'''Koko''': I know that. That's why I fight! ''[poses Dada Zarude's arm away, grunts and runs off]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': Koko!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Ash, Pikachu and Skwovet follow Koko]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[collapses on the ground and groans]'' I should have known. How can I protect the Pokémon... protect our home, protect everyone? How can I protect ''Koko''?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Male researcher #1''': Yes, but aren't you taking this too far?
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gets enraged, pushes the researcher away and grunts]''
:'''Sharon''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': I've gone over this in my mind, ''over and over''. ''[grunts]'' So why did they do this?!
::''[In the flashback]''
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': Humans and Pokémon share the same life force.
:''[In the present]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Why won't they understand mine is the correct path? ''It's right here under their noses!''
:''[All researchers are quiet]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': You're all the same.
:''[The Zarude troop arrive]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Zarude. Lots of them.
:'''Male researcher #1''': &quot;Zarude&quot;?
:'''Female researcher''': They've come for revenge.
:'''Sharon''': We've rekindled their rage.
:''[Ash, Pikachu, Koko and Skwovet arrive as well]''
:'''Ash''': Dr. Zed, now look at what you've done!
:'''Sharon''': We're sorry. We'll be leaving right away
:''[Dr. Zed throws the pilot out of the spider-tank mecha and enters]''
:''[All researchers gasp]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': We will not be leaving. I will show you the truth path. ''[shows his true colors to Koko]'' I'm afraid your parents made the wrong decision, Al!
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': And they paid the ultimate price in the end.
::''[In the flashback]''
::'''Zed''': Boss. I think I deserve an explanation.
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': Look, Zed. It turns out the source of the healing power is a great body of energy within the tree.
::'''Phossa Molybdenum''': But there are Pokémon called Zarude who live on that giant tree. There's no doubt that tree is special to the Zarude.
::'''Zed''': I ask you to reconsider. We've searched for it so long, and now we've found it!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': We're suspending operations until we find a way to resolve this for the good of both humans and Pokémon.
::'''Zed''': ''[grunts and puts hard his hands on Chrom's shoulder]'' Stopping for a bunch of Pokémon?! ''What is the matter with you?!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': ''[touches Zed's hand]'' Humans and Pokémon share the same life force. ''[poses Zed's hand away]'' We share the same world. I'm making the right decision, Zed. I know it.
:''[In the present]''
:''[Team Rocket in Zed's office]''
:'''James''': Here's a video blog from ten years ago.
:'''Jessie''': Ooh, let's watch.
:'''James''': Sure. ''[plays the video blog]''
:'''Zed''': '' ''[sighs]'' Operations are suspended on the Healing Spring Project, though we could save countless people with the power of that spring. ''[grumbles]'' And all for some worthless Pokémon. ''[throws tantrum]'' THE DECISION IS WRONG, I TELL YOU! ''[breathes aggressively]'' If I were in charge, I could lead this research down the path to truth. My way is correct! If only I had the power, I could prove to everyone that my way is the right way. ''[hits the table with his hand]'' Yes, yes, I can. If the Molybdenums weren't around...''
::''[In the flashback]''
::''[Chrom and Phossa are driving the jeep with their crying baby Al/Koko while Zed in another jeep pursues them]''
::'''Zed''': Come on, you two, where is the data?!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': We erased it!
::'''Zed''': But why?!
::'''Chrom Molybdenum''': ''[last words]'' It's to protect them!
::'''Zed''': ''[angry]'' UNACCEPTABLE!!
::''[Zed runs Chrom and Phossa off the road causing a fiery accident and explosion]''
::''[Baby Al/Koko is still crying, Phossa puts him to the cradle capsule]''
::'''Phossa Molybdenum''': ''[last words]'' Will you please forgive us? ''[pushes the cradle into the river]''
::''[The injured Chrom and Phossa hug for the last time]''
::'''Zed''': ''[picks up the device on the ground and smiles evily]'' This is best. All for the best. I will never give up. I will revive this research no matter what it takes. This time, I choose the path. ''[walks away from the burning jeep before the big explosion]''
::''[Flashback ends]''
:''[In the present]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': In this moment, my long-held dream has come true!
:'''Ash''': How could he do that?
:'''Male researcher #2''': It's so cruel.
:'''Sharon''': I never knew any of this.
:'''Dr. Zed''': Al, you were a fortunate miscalculation on my part. But if you insist on intruding, I will show no mercy to you OR THE ZARUDE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The jungle Pokémon are gathered under the tree and an injured Dada Zarude arrives falling down to the ground]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[exhales]'' Well, well, hello. ''[struggles to move forward, collapses, grunts and sighs]'' Could you please give me a hand? If this continues, everyone will lose everything. I'm asking all of you for your help.
:'''Nuzleaf''': ''[throws berries at Dada Zarude]'' Nuzleaf!
:'''Dada Zarude''': I know. I don't have the right to ask anything of you. But I have to do my best to help Koko. You see, I'm his father and I must do something. No matter what happens, I have to do my best to protect Koko. You are the friends Koko is so very proud of. Flygon, he says you pick a lot of fights, but you're strong. He says Ninjask is the fastest Pokémon in the jungle. And he says that Cottonee stick together, and don't let go. I know the Zarude can't win this fight by ourselves. But if you combine your strengths with the Zarude, I think we could save both Koko and the jungle. ''[moves his head to the ground]'' Please! I'm asking you to come fight with us. Please. Please! ''I'm begging you!'' ''[sobs]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Zarude troop use Bullet Seed at mecha but it doesn't work]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[laughs]'' You think a few Pokémon and two immature children have even a chance to stop me?!
:'''Ash''': Course, we do! Because we're working together!
:'''Dr. Zed''': How very quaint of you. The world will see that I am right! ''[moves the mecha while the Zarude troop struggle to stop it]'' And now, I will accomplish WHAT THE MOLYBDENUMS COULD NOT!
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, use Quick Attack! Let's go!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Pikachu uses Quick Attack and Koko runs closer to the mecha, but Dr. Zed hits Pikachu and grabs Koko]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[laughs evily]'' What happened to that cockiness from before? Were humans and Pokémon going to stop me? ''[The emergency alarm blares]'' Huh?
:''[The Power Whip appears to break Koko free]''
:'''Koko''': ''[groans]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Pikachu''': Pipi?
:''[Dada Zarude and the jungle Pokémon arrive]''
:'''Koko''': It's Dada.
:'''Pikachu''': Pi...
:'''Ash''': He's got the jungle Pokémon with him.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Water raises the trees.
:'''Sub-Alpha Zarude''': The light shines down and turns trees into jungle.
:'''Elder Zarude''': Of course, the trees are the Pokémon, and that means you are the light.
:'''Alpha Zarude''': Do you hear it? The sound of stomping feet?
:'''All Zarude''': ''[growl]'' Do you hear it? The many voices? ''[stomp in unison]'' Zar, Zar, Zar, Zar...
:'''Dr. Zed''': Again? How can they stand against me?!
:'''Dada Zarude''': The jungle's lifeblood, lift up your voices! WITH THE HEART TREE!
:''[The Zarude troop and the jungle Pokémon charge]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': I'll stop you in your tracks! EVERY ONE OF YOU!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[walking and panting]'' I will not let it be over. Not until I prove that I'm right!
:''[Several Zarude spot Dr. Zed and grunt]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gasps]'' He's still alive?
:''[Koko runs after Dr. Zed]''
:'''Dada Zarude''': Wait, Koko! Don't chase him!
:'''Alpha Zarude''': The Elder!
:''[Dr. Zed is running and stops at the fallen tree overlooking a river]
:''[Koko and Dr. Zed fight]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': Let me go!
:'''Dada Zarude''': Koko, that's enough! Stop it now!
:'''Alpha Zarude''': What's happening?
:'''Dada Zarude''': Koko's anger has taken over.
:'''Ash''': Koko, Dr. Zed!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[grunts and pushes Koko away]'' Don't mess with me!
:'''Koko''': ''[grumbles and runs again]'' ZA!
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''[smiles]''
:''[Dr. Zed tries to escape by leaping into the water and Koko traps him with a vine]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Koko''': ''[grunting]''
:'''Ash''': KOKO!
:'''Dr. Zed''': ''[angry]'' Let me go! What are you doing?! Weren't you listening to me, Al?!
:'''Koko''': ''[grunts]''
:'''Dr. Zed''': If you think I'm going to let it end here...! Uhhhh! ''[sobs]'' ''[Koko ties the vine to the fallen tree]'' Al?! AL! '''AAAAAAAL!!!'''
:''[Koko and Dada Zarude hug]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dada Zarude''': ''Give it all you've got, but come back. That bridge between humans and Pokémon, you can help create it. I know you can. After all, you're my son, and I'm proud of you.''
:'''Ash''': Koko?
:'''Pikachu''': Pi?
:'''Koko''': Bye, Ash, Pikachu.
:'''Ash''': Hey, I know we'll see you again.
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu!
:''[Koko runs away with a bag]''
:''[Pikachu jumps onto Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Ash''': See ya! Goodbye!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika, Pika!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines]''
:'''Narrator''': The incredible unpredictable world of Pokémon. They help each other, they help humans, living side-by-side. There may be disagreement, but they're family, connected by so many different bonds. And as many people and Pokémon as there are in this world, there are just as many dreams and adventures. Yes, filled with hope, filled with wonder, the amazing world of Pokémon.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|11819890}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=pokemon_the_movie_secrets_of_the_jungle|title=Pokémon the Movie: Secrets of the Jungle}}
[[Category:2020 films]]
[[Category:Japanese films]]
[[Category:Anime]]
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]
[[Category:Foreign language films]]
[[Category:Films based on animated television series]]</text>
      <sha1>op4wp27jn3dqg5r41dvav0dylm2uvfa</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Bad Guys (film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>246891</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149004</id>
      <parentid>3146532</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:38:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2607:FEA8:BE0:5060:C8D7:4D1A:7B32:C1AF</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="14935" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


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&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


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&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, (yes... but) it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep. (True.)
:'''Wolf''': But (out of all criminals and villains,) why us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. (Point taken.) But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about? (What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. NO! &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
      <sha1>mlk57vz9ovasg0rum2yv7o93gzfsq8q</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149006</id>
      <parentid>3149004</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:39:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2607:FEA8:BE0:5060:C8D7:4D1A:7B32:C1AF</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="14950" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

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:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.

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:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, (yes... but) it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep. (True.)
:'''Wolf''': But (out of all criminals and villains,) why us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. (Point taken.) But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about? (What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.

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:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

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:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

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:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

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:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''''''''NO!'''''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

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== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
      <sha1>8zjx7o019hg8ojhbc6tmpi7eq4ny2p4</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149007</id>
      <parentid>3149006</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:39:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2607:FEA8:BE0:5060:C8D7:4D1A:7B32:C1AF</ip>
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      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="14941" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

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:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.

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:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, (yes... but) it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep. (True.)
:'''Wolf''': But (out of all criminals and villains,) why us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. (Point taken.) But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about? (What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
      <sha1>5uaw7650b6ue2f3ctkhvgxzxd321rrd</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149019</id>
      <parentid>3149007</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T14:37:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2607:FEA8:BE0:5060:C8D7:4D1A:7B32:C1AF</ip>
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      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17134" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, (yes... but) it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep. (True.)
:'''Wolf''': But (out of all criminals and villains,) why us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. (Point taken.) But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about? (What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
:'''Wolf''': You little pouchy-cheeked '''RAT!''' '''I’LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEA-'''
:'''Marmalade''': Help! Help! Help! the Big Bad Wolf is attacking me.
:'''Luggins''': Oh, Now you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': (chuckles) That is it.
:'''Piranha''': Hey!
:'''Luggins''': There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
:'''Diane''': Wait, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Governor Foxington?
:'''Diane''': Don't do this
:'''Wolf''': Ow!
:'''Diane''': They didn’t steal the meteorite.They were bringing it back.
:'''Luggins''': Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.  
:'''Diane''': Well… ''(clears throat)'' as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
:''[ Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha,and Tarantula realizes Diane Gonna tell Her about her secret identity]''
:'''Diane''': The truth is I’m really… (clears throat) r-really…
:'''Wolf''': Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know. 
:''[ Snake, Shark, Piranha,and Tarantula understood Wolf]''
:'''Wolf''': We're done running away.
:'''Piranha''': Yeah
:'''Shark''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Tarantula''': Yeah
:'''Snake''': Yep
:'''Wolf''': Chief, Do what you need to do.
:'''Luggins''': What? Y-You're turning yourself in?
:'''Wolf''': We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Wow, Really?
:'''Wolf''': You Finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
:'''Luggins''': ''(gasp)'' Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn’t I?
:'''Wolf''': Uh… ''(mutters)''
:'''Luggins''': ''(clears throat)'' When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were just too powerful for that fragile little instrument.And that’s when I discovered law enforcement.
:'''Wolf''': ''(chuckles)'' ''[chief continues indistinctly]''
:'''Diane''': I’m proud of you, Wolf.
:'''Wolf''': You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149020</id>
      <parentid>3149019</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T14:40:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2607:FEA8:BE0:5060:C8D7:4D1A:7B32:C1AF</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17135" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


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:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.

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:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, (yes... but) it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep. (True.)
:'''Wolf''': But (out of all criminals and villains,) why us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. (Point taken.) But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about? (What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
:'''Wolf''': You little pouchy-cheeked '''RAT!''' '''I’LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEA-'''
:'''Marmalade''': Help! Help! Help! the Big Bad Wolf is attacking me.
:'''Luggins''': Oh, Now you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': (chuckles) That is it.
:'''Piranha''': Hey!
:'''Luggins''': There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
:'''Diane''': Wait, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Governor Foxington?
:'''Diane''': Don't do this
:'''Wolf''': Ow!
:'''Diane''': They didn’t steal the meteorite.They were bringing it back.
:'''Luggins''': Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.  
:'''Diane''': Well… ''(clears throat)'' as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
:''[ Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha,and Tarantula realizes Diane Gonna tell Her about her secret identity]''
:'''Diane''': The truth is I’m really… (clears throat) r-really…
:'''Wolf''': Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know. 
:''[ Snake, Shark, Piranha,and Tarantula understood Wolf]''
:'''Wolf''': We're done running away.
:'''Piranha''': Yeah
:'''Shark''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Tarantula''': Yeah
:'''Snake''': Yep
:'''Wolf''': Chief, Do what you need to do.
:'''Luggins''': What? Y-You're turning yourself in?
:'''Wolf''': We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Wow, Really?
:'''Wolf''': You Finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
:'''Luggins''': ''(gasp)'' Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn’t I?
:'''Wolf''': Uh… ''(mutters)''
:'''Luggins''': ''(clears throat)'' When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were just too powerful for that fragile little instrument.And that’s when I discovered law enforcement.
:'''Wolf''': ''(chuckles)'' 
''[chief continues indistinctly]''
:'''Diane''': I’m proud of you, Wolf.
:'''Wolf''': You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149021</id>
      <parentid>3149020</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T14:41:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2607:FEA8:BE0:5060:C8D7:4D1A:7B32:C1AF</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17138" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

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:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.

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:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, (yes... but) it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep. (True.)
:'''Wolf''': But (out of all criminals and villains,) why us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. (Point taken.) But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about? (What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
:'''Wolf''': You little pouchy-cheeked '''RAT!''' '''I’LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEA-'''
:'''Marmalade''': Help! Help! Help! the Big Bad Wolf is attacking me.
:'''Luggins''': Oh, Now you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

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:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

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:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

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:'''Luggins''': (chuckles) That is it.
:'''Piranha''': Hey!
:'''Luggins''': There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
:'''Diane''': Wait, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Governor Foxington?
:'''Diane''': Don't do this
:'''Wolf''': Ow!
:'''Diane''': They didn’t steal the meteorite.They were bringing it back.
:'''Luggins''': Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.  
:'''Diane''': Well… ''(clears throat)'' as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
:''[ Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha,and Tarantula realizes Diane Gonna tell Her about her secret identity]''
:'''Diane''': The truth is I’m really… (clears throat) r-really…
:'''Wolf''': Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know. 
:''[ Snake, Shark, Piranha,and Tarantula understood Wolf]''
:'''Wolf''': We're done running away.
:'''Piranha''': Yeah
:'''Shark''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Tarantula''': Yeah
:'''Snake''': Yep
:'''Wolf''': Chief, Do what you need to do.
:'''Luggins''': What? Y-You're turning yourself in?
:'''Wolf''': We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Wow, Really?
:'''Wolf''': You Finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
:'''Luggins''': ''(gasp)'' Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn’t I?
:'''Wolf''': Uh… ''(mutters)''
:'''Luggins''': ''(clears throat)'' When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were 
 just too powerful for that fragile little instrument.And that’s when I discovered law enforcement.
:'''Wolf''': ''(chuckles)'' 
 ''[chief continues indistinctly]''
:'''Diane''': I’m proud of you, Wolf.
:'''Wolf''': You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

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:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

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== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
      <sha1>2pdlfsoobgwnrnvy5ywy55218ucqnhe</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149022</id>
      <parentid>3149021</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T14:46:17Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2607:FEA8:BE0:5060:C8D7:4D1A:7B32:C1AF</ip>
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      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17137" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

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:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.

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:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, (yes... but) it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep. (True.)
:'''Wolf''': But (out of all criminals and villains,) why us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. (Point taken.) But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about? (What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
:'''Wolf''': You little pouchy-cheeked '''RAT!''' '''I’LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEA-'''
:'''Marmalade''': Help! Help! Help! the Big Bad Wolf is attacking me.
:'''Luggins''': Oh, Now you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

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&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': (chuckles) That is it.
:'''Piranha''': Hey!
:'''Luggins''': There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
:'''Diane''': Wait, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Governor Foxington?
:'''Diane''': Don't do this
:'''Wolf''': Ow!
:'''Diane''': They didn’t steal the meteorite.They were bringing it back.
:'''Luggins''': Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.  
:'''Diane''': Well… ''(clears throat)'' as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
:''[ Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha,and Tarantula realizes Diane Gonna tell Her about her secret identity]''
:'''Diane''': The truth is I’m really… (clears throat) r-really…
:'''Wolf''': Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know. 
:''[ Snake, Shark, Piranha,and Tarantula understood Wolf]''
:'''Wolf''': We're done running away.
:'''Piranha''': Yeah
:'''Shark''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Tarantula''': Yeah
:'''Snake''': Yep
:'''Wolf''': Chief, Do what you need to do.
:'''Luggins''': What? Y-You're turning yourself in?
:'''Wolf''': We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Wow, Really?
:'''Wolf''': You Finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
:'''Luggins''': ''(gasp)'' Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn’t I?
:'''Wolf''': Uh… ''(mutters)''
:'''Luggins''': ''(clears throat)'' When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were 
 just too powerful for that fragile little instrument.And that’s when I discovered law enforcement.
:'''Wolf''': ''(chuckles)'' 
 ''[chief continues indistinctly]''
:'''Diane''': I’m proud of you, Wolf.
:'''Wolf''': You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Canis</title>
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'''Canis''' is an Iranian alternative RnB Singer/music producer based in the United Kingdom.
The singer was born in Iran March 93, later moving to the United Kingdom in 2005, '''Canis''' was 13 when he found an irreplaceable love for singing. 
the singer started to learn to produce on his own from the age of fourteen due to the limitations of instrumentals that he could sing on meaning he didn't hear the character that he had in his mind from any other producers.

== Credites ==
*Canis has '''sang''' and produced for and alongside notable Iranian artists like '''Mehrad Hidden''' &lt;ref&gt;[https://g.co/kgs/BLTMyn Mehrad Hidden]&lt;/ref&gt;, '''Saman Wilson''' &lt;ref&gt;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sWRNoFZcf4 Saman Wilson]&lt;/ref&gt;, '''Ho3ein''' &lt;ref&gt;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmxTWjodfys Ho3ein]&lt;/ref&gt;, '''Shayea''' &lt;ref&gt;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO5NfabmOLw Shayea]&lt;/ref&gt; and so on.Canis’s music is alternative RnB and sometimes Rap with unique productionskills and character. 

*He is recognized for his work on the '''&quot;Toonel&quot;'''&lt;ref&gt;[https://g.co/kgs/QQoPfp Toonel]&lt;/ref&gt; album where he produced 80% of the album after the album leading to a collaboration with Erfan where '''Canis''' sang wrote and produced the song 

*You can now stream Canis’s debut album '''&quot;RAVANI&quot;'''&lt;ref&gt;[https://open.spotify.com/album/4OAiZ9IhdxcMY1HguOToVG RAVANI]&lt;/ref&gt; On all digital platforms. 

*Canis had made an outstanding entrance to the Iranian music industry and is just the start.

== references ==

{{DEFAULTSORT:Canis}}
[[Category:1993 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Tehran]]
[[Category:Articles with no corresponding English Wikipedia article]]</text>
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{{vfd-new}}
'''Canis''' is an Iranian alternative RnB Singer/music producer based in the United Kingdom.
The singer was born in Iran March 93, later moving to the United Kingdom in 2005, '''Canis''' was 13 when he found an irreplaceable love for singing. 
the singer started to learn to produce on his own from the age of fourteen due to the limitations of instrumentals that he could sing on meaning he didn't hear the character that he had in his mind from any other producers.

== Credites ==
*Canis has '''sang''' and produced for and alongside notable Iranian artists like '''Mehrad Hidden''' &lt;ref&gt;[https://g.co/kgs/BLTMyn Mehrad Hidden]&lt;/ref&gt;, '''Saman Wilson''' &lt;ref&gt;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sWRNoFZcf4 Saman Wilson]&lt;/ref&gt;, '''Ho3ein''' &lt;ref&gt;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmxTWjodfys Ho3ein]&lt;/ref&gt;, '''Shayea''' &lt;ref&gt;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO5NfabmOLw Shayea]&lt;/ref&gt; and so on.Canis’s music is alternative RnB and sometimes Rap with unique productionskills and character. 

*He is recognized for his work on the '''&quot;Toonel&quot;'''&lt;ref&gt;[https://g.co/kgs/QQoPfp Toonel]&lt;/ref&gt; album where he produced 80% of the album after the album leading to a collaboration with Erfan where '''Canis''' sang wrote and produced the song 

*You can now stream Canis’s debut album '''&quot;RAVANI&quot;'''&lt;ref&gt;[https://open.spotify.com/album/4OAiZ9IhdxcMY1HguOToVG RAVANI]&lt;/ref&gt; On all digital platforms. 

*Canis had made an outstanding entrance to the Iranian music industry and is just the start.

== references ==

{{DEFAULTSORT:Canis}}
[[Category:1993 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Tehran]]
[[Category:Articles with no corresponding English Wikipedia article]]</text>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:27:39Z</timestamp>
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{{&lt;includeonly&gt;safesubst:&lt;/includeonly&gt;#if:{{{secondparagraph|}}}|{{{secondparagraph}}}|If you think {{{if you think that|this page should not be deleted for this reason}}}, you may '''contest the nomination''' by {{&lt;includeonly&gt;safesubst:&lt;/includeonly&gt;#ifeq:{{&lt;includeonly&gt;safesubst:&lt;/includeonly&gt;lc:{{{button|}}}}}|no|visiting [[{{&lt;includeonly&gt;safesubst:&lt;/includeonly&gt;TALKPAGENAME:{{{namespace|}}}:{{{target}}}}}|the page's talk page]], where you can explain|[[{{{namespace|}}}:{{{target}}}|visiting the page]] and clicking the button labelled &quot;Contest this speedy deletion&quot;. This will give you the opportunity to explain}} why you believe the page should not be deleted. However, be aware that once a page is tagged for speedy deletion, it may be deleted without delay. Please do not remove the speedy deletion tag from the page yourself, but do not hesitate to add information in line with [[w:Wikipedia:List of policies|Wikiquote’s policies and guidelines]]. {{&lt;includeonly&gt;safesubst:&lt;/includeonly&gt;#ifeq: {{&lt;includeonly&gt;safesubst:&lt;/includeonly&gt;lc:{{{willprovide|}}}}}|no||If the page is deleted, and you wish to retrieve the deleted material for future reference or improvement, then please contact the {{Querylink|Special:Log|qs=type=delete&amp;page={{&lt;includeonly&gt;safesubst:&lt;/includeonly&gt;urlencode:{{{target}}}}}|deleting administrator}}{{&lt;includeonly&gt;safesubst:&lt;/includeonly&gt;#if: {{{rfudlink|}}} ||, or if you have already done so, you can place a request [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27 noticeboard|here]]}}.}}}} {{&lt;includeonly&gt;safesubst:&lt;/includeonly&gt;#ifeq: {{{additionally|}}}|||Additionally {{{additionally}}}}}&lt;noinclude&gt;

{{documentation}}
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    <title>Top Gun: Maverick</title>
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      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
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'''''{{w|Top Gun: Maverick}}''''' is a [[w:2022 in film|2022 film]] and a sequel to ''[[Top Gun]]'' about Maverick's return to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, where he must confront his past as he trains a group of younger fighter pilots, among them the son of Maverick's best friend Goose.
:''Directed by {{w|Joseph Kosinski}}. Written by {{w|Ehren Kruger}}, {{w|Eric Warren Singer}} and {{w|Christopher McQuarrie}}. Based on characters by {{w|Jim Cash}} and {{w|Jack Epps Jr.}}''

[[File:F-14 final catapult July 2006.jpg|thumb|Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.]]
[[File:NAS North Island Seal.svg|thumb|&quot;The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Maybe so, sir. But not today.&quot;]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|Talk to me, Goose.]]
[[File:Legionnaire of the Legion of Merit.jpg|thumb|&quot;Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;It's one of life's mysteries, sir.&quot;]]
[[File:2014.020.007 Award, Medal, Navy Cross (13997822835).jpg|thumb|You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back... We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.]]
[[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]]]

== Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell ==
* ''[commandeering an F-14]'' Alright, sweetheart. One last ride.
* Talk to me, Goose.

== LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw ==
*[[Top Gun|Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit.]]
* Talk to me, Dad.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rear Admiral Chester 'Hammer' Cain''': ''[going through Maverick's service record]'' Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals. Citations. Only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; &quot;Distinguished.&quot; Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts, you refuse to die. You should be at least a two-star Admiral by now, if not a Senator. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?
:'''Maverick''': It's one of life's mysteries, sir.
:'''RADM Cain''': This isn't a joke. I asked you a question.
:'''Maverick''': I'm where I belong, sir.
:'''RADM Cain''': Well, the Navy doesn't see it that way. Not anymore. Those planes you've been testing, Captain... one day sooner than later they won't need pilots at all. Pilots that need to eat, sleep, take a piss. ''[glares at Maverick]'' Pilots that disobey orders. All you did was buy some time for those men out there. The future is coming, and you're not in it. ''[to the Masters-at-Arms]'' Escort this man off the base. Take him to his quarters. Wait with him while he packs his gear. I want him on the road to North Island within the hour.
:'''Maverick''': North Island, sir?
:'''RADM Cain''': Call came in with impeccable timing just as I was driving here to ground your ass once and for all. It galls me to say it, but... for reasons known only to the Almighty and your guardian angel... you've been called back to Top Gun.
:'''Maverick''': ''[in disbelief]'' Sir.
:'''RADM Cain''': You are dismissed, Captain. ''[calling after Maverick as he goes to leave]'' The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
:'''Maverick''': Maybe so, sir. But not today.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': I'm Vice Admiral Beau Simpson, the Air Boss. I believe you know Rear Admiral Bates.
:'''Maverick''': Warlock, sir.
:'''VADM Simpson''': Captain Pete &quot;Maverick&quot; Mitchell. Your reputation precedes you.
:'''Maverick''': Thank you, sir.
:'''VADM Simpson''': It wasn't a compliment.
:'''Maverick''': I have to admit I wasn't expecting an invitation back.
:'''RADM Solomon 'Warlock' Bates''': They're called &quot;orders,&quot; Maverick. You two have something in common. Cyclone was first in his class back in '88. 
:'''Meverick''': Actually, sir, I finished second. Just wanted to manage expectations.
:''[...]''
:'''Maverick''': Well, it's been a while since I've flown an F-18, and I don't know who I'd trust to fly the other three, but-
:'''RADM Bates''': I think you misunderstand, Captain.
:'''VADM Simpson''': We don't want you to fly it. We want you to teach it.
:'''Maverick''': With all due respect, sir, I'm not a teacher.
:'''VADM Simpson''': You were a Top Gun instructor before.
:'''Maverick''': That was over 30 years ago, sir; I lasted two months.
:'''VADM Simpson''': Well, let me be perfectly blunt: you were not my first choice. You weren't even on a ''list''. You are here at the request of Admiral Kazansky. Now, Iceman happens to be a man I deeply admire. And he feels you still have something left to offer the Navy. What that is I can't imagine. You don't have to take this job. But let me be clear: this will be your last post, Captain. Either you fly for Top Gun, or you don't fly for the Navy ever again.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick visits Iceman]''
:'''Maverick''': Admiral. ''[sits down]'' How's my wingman?
:'''Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky''': ''[types on his computer]'' I want to talk about work.
:'''Maverick''': Let's not talk about that. Don't worry about me. What can I do for you? ''[Iceman points at the typed words.]'' Rooster is still angry with me for what I did. I thought in time he'd understand why. I hoped he'd forgive me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' There's still time.
:'''Maverick''': Less than three weeks to the mission. The kid is not ready.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' Then teach him.
:'''Maverick''': It's not about what I can give him. Ice, please. Ice, don't ask me to send someone else to die, please- don't ask me to send him. Send me.
:'''Iceman''': ''[typing]'' It's time to let go.
:'''Maverick''': ''[visibly emotional]'' I don't know how. I'm not a teacher, Ice. I'm a fighter pilot. A naval aviator. It's not what I am, it's who I am. How can I teach that? Even if I could teach it, it's not what Rooster wants. It's not what the Navy wants. That's why they canned me the last time. The only reason I'm here is ''you.'' If I send him on this mission, he may never come home. And if I don't send him... he will never forgive me. Either way, I lose him forever. ''[looks again at the computer screen]'' I know.
:''[Iceman stands up and Maverick rises to meet him]''
:'''Iceman''': ''[whispering]'' The Navy... needs... Maverick. The kid... needs... Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.
:'''Maverick''': ''[embraces Iceman]'' Thank you, Ice, for everything.
:'''Iceman''': One last thing. Who's the better pilot, you or me?
:'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it. ''[they grin and laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Maverick chances upon Rooster at the ready room in the wake of Phoenix and Bob's bird strike]''
:'''Maverick''': They're keeping Phoenix and Bob in the hospital overnight for observation. They're gonna be okay.
:'''Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': That's good. ''[pauses]'' I've never lost a wingman.
:'''Maverick''': You're lucky. Keep flying long enough, it'll happen. There will be others.
:'''Rooster''': Easy for you to say. No wife, no kids. No one to miss you when you burn in.
:'''Maverick''': Get some sleep. ''[goes to leave]''
:'''Rooster''': Why'd you pull my papers at the [[United States Naval Academy|Academy]]? Why did you ''stand in my way?''
:'''Maverick''': You weren't ready.
:'''Rooster''': Ready for what? Huh? Ready to fly like you?
:'''Maverick''': No, ready to forget the book. Trust your instincts! Don't think, just do. [[Top Gun|You think up there, you're dead. Believe me.]]
:'''Rooster''': My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw''': There's more than one way to fly this mission.
:'''LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin''': You really don't get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back. ''[to Phoenix]'' No offense, Lieutenant.
:'''LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd''': But somehow, you always manage.
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I don't mean to criticize, you're conservative, that's all.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant...
:'''Hangman''': We're going into combat, son, on a level no living pilot's ever seen. ''[referring to Maverick]'' Not even him. That's no time to be thinking about the past.
:'''Rooster''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Maverick''': Rooster...
:'''Hangman''': I can't be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man.
:'''Maverick''': Lieutenant, that's enough.
:'''Hangman''': Or that Maverick was flying when his old man-
:''[Rooster jumps up and tries to attack Hangman; the other pilots hold him back and separate the two]''
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Rooster''': You son of a bitch!
:'''Hangman''': Hey, I'm cool, I'm cool. Hey.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough!
:'''Hangman''': He's not cut out for this mission.
:'''Maverick''': That's enough.
:'''Hangman''': ''[to Maverick, leaving the room]'' You know it. You know I'm right.
:'''Maverick''': You're all dismissed.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''VADM Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson''': You have put me in a difficult position, Captain. On the one hand, you have demonstrated that this mission can be flown, perhaps the only way it can be survived. On the other hand, you did it by stealing a multi-million dollar military aircraft and flying it in such a manner that it may never be airworthy again. Iceman is no longer here to protect you. I have everything I need to have you court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. So what do I do, risk the lives of my pilots and perhaps the success of this mission, or, risk my career by appointing you team leader?
:'''Maverick''': Sir...
:'''RADM Solomon 'Warlock' Bates''': I think the Admiral is asking a rhetorical question, Captain.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Hangman''': ''[after destroying the plane that almost killed Maverick and Rooster]'' Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman, this is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seat belts, return the tray tables to their locked an upright positions and prepare for landing.
:'''Rooster''': Hey, Hangman, you look good.
:'''Hangman''': I ''am'' good, Rooster. I'm ''very good''. I'll see you back on deck.

== Cast ==
* [[Tom Cruise]] - Capt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell 
* {{w|Miles Teller}} - LT Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw
* {{w|Jennifer Connelly}} - Penelope 'Penny' Benjamin
* {{w|John Hamm}} - Vice Adm. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson
* {{w|Glen Powell}} - LT Jake 'Hangman' Seresin
* {{w|Lewis Pullman}} - LT Robert 'Bob' Floyd
* {{w|Ed Harris}} - Rear Adm. Chester 'Hammer' Cain
* [[Val Kilmer]] - Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski
* {{w|Monica Barbaro}} - LT Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace
* {{w|Charles Parnell}} - Rear Adm. Solomon 'Warlock' Bates
* {{w|Jay Ellis}} - LT Reuben 'Payback' Fitch
* {{w|Danny Ramirez}} - LT Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia
* [[w:Greg Davis (actor)|Greg Tarzan Davis]] - LT Javy 'Coyote' Machado
* {{w|Manny Jacinto}} - LT Billy 'Fritz' Avalone
* Jack Schumacher - LT Neil 'Omaha' Vikander
* {{w|Bashir Salahuddin}} - CWO4 Bernie 'Hondo' Coleman
* {{w|Jake Picking}} - LT Brigham 'Harvard' Lennox
* [[w:Raymond Lee (actor)|Raymond Lee]] - LT Logan 'Yale' Lee
* Kara Wang - LT Callie 'Halo' Bassett
* {{w|Lyliana Wray}} - Amelia Benjamin
* {{w|Jean Louisa Kelly}} - Sarah Kazanski
* {{w|Chelsea Harris}} - Flag Aide Angela Burke
* [[w:Bob Stephenson (actor)|Bob Stephenson]] - Senior Engineer
* {{w|Anthony Edwards}} - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}
* {{w|Meg Ryan}} - Carol Bradshaw {{small|(archival footage)}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{imdb title|id=1745960|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun_maverick|title=Top Gun: Maverick}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Drama films]]
[[Category:Airplane films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
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      <comment>Nominate for deletion</comment>
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      <text bytes="643" xml:space="preserve">-- {{vfd-template-new|Module:Subst}}
local exports = {};

function exports.main(frame)
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        args_string = args_string:sub(args_string:find(&quot;,&quot;) + 1, -1);
        itr = itr + 1;
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    local kwargs = {};
    for _, arg in ipairs(args) do
        kwargs[arg] = frame:preprocess(frame.args[arg]:gsub(&quot;{{void}}&quot;, &quot;&quot;));
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end

return exports;</text>
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|text = A tag has been placed on [[:{{{1}}}]] requesting that it be speedily deleted from Wikipedia. This has been done for the following reason:

&lt;blockquote&gt;{{{2}}}&lt;/blockquote&gt;

Under the [[Wikipedia:Criteria for speedy deletion|criteria for speedy deletion]], pages that meet certain criteria may be deleted at any time. }}&lt;!-- Template:Db-reason-notice --&gt;&lt;noinclude&gt;
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  <page>
    <title>User talk:Ilovemydoodle</title>
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      <text bytes="28747" xml:space="preserve">{{Talkheader}}
{{User talk:Ilovemydoodle/Template:Archive}}

= Settings =

{{/cs}}

= Questions =

== Tagging socks ==

[[User_talk:Aphaia#IP_address_ban_and_Mass_deletion_of_articles|This is your sign to stop tagging socks]], it is now disrupting wiki-editing events. If you continue to tag socks disruptively, violating [[:w:WP:DENY]] and tagging innocent users, I will consider blocking you from the User: namespace here on Wikiquote. Thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:53, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ferien}} I promise to not only stop tagging socks, but that will I will also stop editing in other's user namespace. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:34, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sounds good to me, thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:38, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Ferien}} I will also take a short break from editing. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:02, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|Ferien}} I think I have developed a negative editing pattern, which is why I am taking a break. The negative editing pattern is this:
::::: Originally there was a lot of stuff for me to do on Wikiquote that didn't require other editors, so I started spending a lot of time here, but eventually most of the stuff I wanted to do here started to require waiting for other editors, but I continued to be on Wikiquote just as much, so what would happen is that I would make &quot;filler edits&quot; (edits that don't really contribute anything to anyone, myself included), and when anything interesting would happen, I would way over-do my editing.
::::So will be on Wikiquote less often, so when I am online I can make actually helpful contributions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:31, 3 July 2022 (UTC)

== Umm... ==

You know, saying you're NOT a sockpuppet is like saying you are. [[Special:Contributions/65.184.185.156|65.184.185.156]] 02:34, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

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== No thank you. ==

We are not in the business of pre-emptively registering hypothetical obscene variations on our usernames &quot;just in case.&quot; [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:04, 22 July 2022 (UTC)

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{{VFDNote|Category:Suspected Wikipedia sockpuppets of GR&lt;noinclude/&gt;P}} [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 13:39, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

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==Template:Longquote-line==
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      <sha1>gxza6mu1ktyziyoj8ntde8eytpzh5ib</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:External links</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>249225</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149287</id>
      <parentid>3140386</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T11:50:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Localise, clean up imported template</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="765" xml:space="preserve">{{ {{{|safesubst:}}}#invoke:Unsubst||date=__DATE__ |$B=
&lt;!--{{External links}} begin--&gt;{{Ambox
| name  = External links
| subst = &lt;includeonly&gt;{{subst:substcheck}}&lt;/includeonly&gt;
| type  = style
| class = ambox-external_links
| issue = This {{{1|article}}}'s '''use of external links may not follow Wikiquote’s policies or guidelines'''.
| fix   = Please [{{fullurl:{{FULLPAGENAME}}|action=edit}} improve this article] by removing [[WQ:What Wikiquote is not#Wikiquote is not an internet directory|excessive]] or inappropriate external links, and converting useful links where appropriate into [[WQ:Citing sources|footnote references]].
| removalnotice = yes
| date  = {{{date|}}}
| cat   = Articles needing external links cleanup
}}&lt;!--{{External links}} end--&gt;
}}</text>
      <sha1>r4zac5bl7g6wufun00kqwt4ybjencd2</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Module:Hash</title>
    <ns>828</ns>
    <id>249332</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149053</id>
      <parentid>3141686</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:05:59Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Nominate for deletion</comment>
      <model>Scribunto</model>
      <format>text/plain</format>
      <text bytes="4734" xml:space="preserve">--  {{vfd-template-new|Module:Hash}}
local exports = {}

local MOD = 2^32
local MODM = MOD-1

local function memoize(f)
	local mt = {}
	local t = setmetatable({}, mt)
	function mt:__index(k)
		local v = f(k)
		t[k] = v
		return v
	end
	return t
end

local function make_bitop_uncached(t, m)
	local function bitop(a, b)
		local res,p = 0,1
		while a ~= 0 and b ~= 0 do
			local am, bm = a % m, b % m
			res = res + t[am][bm] * p
			a = (a - am) / m
			b = (b - bm) / m
			p = p*m
		end
		res = res + (a + b) * p
		return res
	end
	return bitop
end

local function make_bitop(t)
	local op1 = make_bitop_uncached(t,2^1)
	local op2 = memoize(function(a) return memoize(function(b) return op1(a, b) end) end)
	return make_bitop_uncached(op2, 2 ^ (t.n or 1))
end

local bxor1 = make_bitop({[0] = {[0] = 0,[1] = 1}, [1] = {[0] = 1, [1] = 0}, n = 4})

local function bxor(a, b, c, ...)
	local z = nil
	if b then
		a = a % MOD
		b = b % MOD
		z = bxor1(a, b)
		if c then z = bxor(z, c, ...) end
		return z
	elseif a then return a % MOD
	else return 0 end
end

local function band(a, b, c, ...)
	local z
	if b then
		a = a % MOD
		b = b % MOD
		z = ((a + b) - bxor1(a,b)) / 2
		if c then z = bit32_band(z, c, ...) end
		return z
	elseif a then return a % MOD
	else return MODM end
end

local function bnot(x) return (-1 - x) % MOD end

local function rshift1(a, disp)
	if disp &lt; 0 then return lshift(a,-disp) end
	return math.floor(a % 2 ^ 32 / 2 ^ disp)
end

local function rshift(x, disp)
	if disp &gt; 31 or disp &lt; -31 then return 0 end
	return rshift1(x % MOD, disp)
end

local function lshift(a, disp)
	if disp &lt; 0 then return rshift(a,-disp) end 
	return (a * 2 ^ disp) % 2 ^ 32
end

local function rrotate(x, disp)
    x = x % MOD
    disp = disp % 32
    local low = band(x, 2 ^ disp - 1)
    return rshift(x, disp) + lshift(low, 32 - disp)
end

local k = {
	0x428a2f98, 0x71374491, 0xb5c0fbcf, 0xe9b5dba5,
	0x3956c25b, 0x59f111f1, 0x923f82a4, 0xab1c5ed5,
	0xd807aa98, 0x12835b01, 0x243185be, 0x550c7dc3,
	0x72be5d74, 0x80deb1fe, 0x9bdc06a7, 0xc19bf174,
	0xe49b69c1, 0xefbe4786, 0x0fc19dc6, 0x240ca1cc,
	0x2de92c6f, 0x4a7484aa, 0x5cb0a9dc, 0x76f988da,
	0x983e5152, 0xa831c66d, 0xb00327c8, 0xbf597fc7,
	0xc6e00bf3, 0xd5a79147, 0x06ca6351, 0x14292967,
	0x27b70a85, 0x2e1b2138, 0x4d2c6dfc, 0x53380d13,
	0x650a7354, 0x766a0abb, 0x81c2c92e, 0x92722c85,
	0xa2bfe8a1, 0xa81a664b, 0xc24b8b70, 0xc76c51a3,
	0xd192e819, 0xd6990624, 0xf40e3585, 0x106aa070,
	0x19a4c116, 0x1e376c08, 0x2748774c, 0x34b0bcb5,
	0x391c0cb3, 0x4ed8aa4a, 0x5b9cca4f, 0x682e6ff3,
	0x748f82ee, 0x78a5636f, 0x84c87814, 0x8cc70208,
	0x90befffa, 0xa4506ceb, 0xbef9a3f7, 0xc67178f2,
}

local function str2hexa(s)
	return (string.gsub(s, &quot;.&quot;, function(c) return string.format(&quot;%02x&quot;, string.byte(c)) end))
end

local function num2s(l, n)
	local s = &quot;&quot;
	for i = 1, n do
		local rem = l % 256
		s = string.char(rem) .. s
		l = (l - rem) / 256
	end
	return s
end

local function s232num(s, i)
	local n = 0
	for i = i, i + 3 do n = n*256 + string.byte(s, i) end
	return n
end

local function preproc(msg, len)
	local extra = 64 - ((len + 9) % 64)
	len = num2s(8 * len, 8)
	msg = msg .. &quot;\128&quot; .. string.rep(&quot;\0&quot;, extra) .. len
	assert(#msg % 64 == 0)
	return msg
end

local function initH256(H)
	H[1] = 0x6a09e667
	H[2] = 0xbb67ae85
	H[3] = 0x3c6ef372
	H[4] = 0xa54ff53a
	H[5] = 0x510e527f
	H[6] = 0x9b05688c
	H[7] = 0x1f83d9ab
	H[8] = 0x5be0cd19
	return H
end

local function digestblock(msg, i, H)
	local w = {}
	for j = 1, 16 do w[j] = s232num(msg, i + (j - 1)*4) end
	for j = 17, 64 do
		local v = w[j - 15]
		local s0 = bxor(rrotate(v, 7), rrotate(v, 18), rshift(v, 3))
		v = w[j - 2]
		w[j] = w[j - 16] + s0 + w[j - 7] + bxor(rrotate(v, 17), rrotate(v, 19), rshift(v, 10))
	end

	local a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h = H[1], H[2], H[3], H[4], H[5], H[6], H[7], H[8]
	for i = 1, 64 do
		local s0 = bxor(rrotate(a, 2), rrotate(a, 13), rrotate(a, 22))
		local maj = bxor(band(a, b), band(a, c), band(b, c))
		local t2 = s0 + maj
		local s1 = bxor(rrotate(e, 6), rrotate(e, 11), rrotate(e, 25))
		local ch = bxor (band(e, f), band(bnot(e), g))
		local t1 = h + s1 + ch + k[i] + w[i]
		h, g, f, e, d, c, b, a = g, f, e, d + t1, c, b, a, t1 + t2
	end

	H[1] = band(H[1] + a)
	H[2] = band(H[2] + b)
	H[3] = band(H[3] + c)
	H[4] = band(H[4] + d)
	H[5] = band(H[5] + e)
	H[6] = band(H[6] + f)
	H[7] = band(H[7] + g)
	H[8] = band(H[8] + h)
end

-- Made this global
function exports.sha256(frame)
	msg = preproc(frame.args[1], #frame.args[1])
	local H = initH256({})
	for i = 1, #msg, 64 do digestblock(msg, i, H) end
	return str2hexa(num2s(H[1], 4) .. num2s(H[2], 4) .. num2s(H[3], 4) .. num2s(H[4], 4) ..
		num2s(H[5], 4) .. num2s(H[6], 4) .. num2s(H[7], 4) .. num2s(H[8], 4))
end

return exports</text>
      <sha1>gcvulv34n96z310e0tky7aeixezzyke</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Pearl Kgomotso Kupe</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>249376</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149079</id>
      <parentid>3142649</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:56:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Vanessa Proctor</username>
        <id>3126920</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1184" xml:space="preserve">'''Pearl Kgomotso Kupe''' is a [[Botswana|Tswana]] [[Law|attorney]], [[Activism|activist]], and a minister of the [[gospel]]. She is the daughter of Elliot Tendani Kupe and Serara Kupe Mogwe.   

== Quotes ==

* Women we have the power to be nurturers and care givers we can teach our children values that will prevent radicalism.

* We need to look at the root cause what are the reasons behind extremism, reasons for radicalism.

* We are going to stop radicalism and extremism by introducing policies, making sure that women are invovled in all the processes, peace negotiation processes, making sure that they are economically empowered as some women are radicalized because of economic issues.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbZtPHTOcP4 Interview Mrs. Pearl Kupe] (Nov 3, 2016) by Crans Montana Forum retrieved 16 July 2022

== External References ==

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbZtPHTOcP4 Interview Mrs. Pearl Kupe] (Nov 3, 2016) by Crans Montana Forum 

[[Category:People from Botswana]]
[[Category:African women]]
[[Category:Anti-communists]]
[[Category:Anti-fascists]]
[[Category:Women's rights activists]]
[[Category:Motswana lawyers]]
[[Category:Women in law]]</text>
      <sha1>pipme6a2r7teotme2jq5p22sf3cdpi4</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Kaone Kairo</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>249384</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149043</id>
      <parentid>3142584</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T15:47:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Vanessa Proctor</username>
        <id>3126920</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1512" xml:space="preserve">Kaone Kairo is a well known actress and model who broke into the fashion and entertainment space in 2005 after winning the face of Nokia of Africa. She was born in 1986 and was born in Botswana but is currently living in South Africa.

== Quotes ==

* &quot;The mistake I made in my young years was not knowing that modelling is a business. 
* Your relationship with your booker is crucial, but don't forget that you are as good as your last job; you're a money making machine, they are not your friends. 
* every dog has a different season
* &quot;My hardest lesson was realising how much of my value I had attached on my work. 
* Enjoy your season and don't be apologetic about it
* Everybody gets their turn and have the grace to support others when it's not.
* I have no desire to contain myself, I have no desire to dim me down
* Capitalism in all its inhumane nature, has conditioned us to believe that we are dispensable, like we are mere commodities and I truly loathe and reject this narrative. Key [http://www.waafrikaonline.com/2021/12/key-takeaways-from-kaone-karios-untold_7.html Takeaways From Kaone Kario's Untold Stories In Her Modelling Journey] (7 December 2021) retrieved July 16 2022

== External References ==

* [http://www.waafrikaonline.com/2021/12/key-takeaways-from-kaone-karios-untold_7.html Takeaways From Kaone Kario's Untold Stories In Her Modelling Journey] (7 December 2021)


[[Category:1986 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Women]]
[[Category:Models]]
[[Category:Actresses]]</text>
      <sha1>neq385ecfzipejru9fkid8u2byde16h</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Vanessa Gounden</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>249426</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149040</id>
      <parentid>3143274</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T15:44:07Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Vanessa Proctor</username>
        <id>3126920</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1655" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Vanessa Gounden|Vanessa Gounden]]''' (born in 1961) is South Africa's first female mining magnate and a successful female entrepreneur, whose business interest span healthcare services, financial services and lifestyle and leisure. She served in the ANC administration during the 1990s.

== Quotes ==

* I'm inspired by what's not been done before - bringing together fashion and original art.
** [https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/vanessa-gounden-designer-interview Rags To Riches] (12 July 2011) by Hattie West retrieved 16 July 2022

=== ''GLAMOUR Women in Charge: Vanessa Gounden'' (2021) ===
&lt;small&gt;[https://www.glamour.co.za/lifestyle/glamour-guides/glamour-women-in-charge-vanessa-gounden-5df3021b-d4f9-4a92-9489-ede808a116db GLAMOUR Women in Charge: Vanessa Gounden] ( 9 April 2021) by Nontando Mpuso retrieved 16 July 2022&lt;/small&gt;

* Nothing great ever happens in your comfort zone.

* Authenticity goes a long way, so keep being yourself and your art will speak for itself.

* The glass is either full or half empty. It’s all about your perception of life.

* Impossible is nothing.

== External links ==

* [https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/vanessa-gounden-designer-interview Rags To Riches] (12 July 2011) by Hattie West
* &lt;small&gt;[https://www.glamour.co.za/lifestyle/glamour-guides/glamour-women-in-charge-vanessa-gounden-5df3021b-d4f9-4a92-9489-ede808a116db GLAMOUR Women in Charge: Vanessa Gounden] ( 9 April 2021) by Nontando Mpuso&lt;/small&gt;


{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Gounden, Vanessa}}

[[Category:Businesspeople]]
[[Category:Women politicians]]
[[Category:South African women]]
[[Category:1961 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
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    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Thuli Madonsela</title>
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      <text bytes="1108" xml:space="preserve">Thulisile Mandosela was born in 28 September 1962. She is a prominent South African Advocate and a Professor of Law. She is the third public prosecutor in South Africa. Her work has been notable in South Africa as she helped draft the final constitution of South Africa in 1996. 

== Quotes ==

* “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” 
* I believe that whatever I do has to resonate with what I believe is my purpose in life. 
* we make democracy work for all
* Inequality is a double-edged sword.
* Integrity is the hidden dimension to ethics. 
* Just do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. 
* [https://www.discovery.co.za/investments/thuli-madonsela-interview Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela] (July, 2018) by Discovery Investments retrieved 18 July 2022

== External References ==

* [https://www.discovery.co.za/investments/thuli-madonsela-interview Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela] (July, 2018) by Discovery Investments


[[Category:1962 births]]
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      <minor />
      <comment>UDScott moved page [[Thulisile Mandosela]] to [[Thuli Madonsela]]</comment>
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      <text bytes="1108" xml:space="preserve">Thulisile Mandosela was born in 28 September 1962. She is a prominent South African Advocate and a Professor of Law. She is the third public prosecutor in South Africa. Her work has been notable in South Africa as she helped draft the final constitution of South Africa in 1996. 

== Quotes ==

* “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” 
* I believe that whatever I do has to resonate with what I believe is my purpose in life. 
* we make democracy work for all
* Inequality is a double-edged sword.
* Integrity is the hidden dimension to ethics. 
* Just do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. 
* [https://www.discovery.co.za/investments/thuli-madonsela-interview Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela] (July, 2018) by Discovery Investments retrieved 18 July 2022

== External References ==

* [https://www.discovery.co.za/investments/thuli-madonsela-interview Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela] (July, 2018) by Discovery Investments


[[Category:1962 births]]
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      <text bytes="1358" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Thuli Madonsela|Thulisile Nomkhosi &quot;Thuli&quot; Madonsela]]''' (born 28 September 1962) is a South African [[w:advocate|advocate]] and professor of law, holding a chair in social justice at [[w:Stellenbosch University|Stellenbosch University]] since January 2018. She served as the [[w:Public Protector|Public Protector]] of South Africa from 19 October 2009 to 14 October 2016. In 1996, she helped draft the final [[w:constitution of South Africa|constitution of South Africa]] promulgated by then-[[w:President of South Africa|President]] [[Nelson Mandela]].

== Quotes ==
=== &quot;Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela&quot; (July 2018) ===
&lt;small&gt;[https://www.discovery.co.za/investments/thuli-madonsela-interview Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela] (July, 2018) by Discovery Investments retrieved 18 July 2022&lt;/small&gt;

* If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

* I believe that whatever I do has to resonate with what I believe is my purpose in life.
 
* We make democracy work for all.

* Inequality is a double-edged sword.

* Integrity is the hidden dimension to ethics. 

* Just do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. 

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT: Madonsela, Thuli}}
[[Category:1962 births]]
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      <minor />
      <comment>removed [[Category:Women]]; added [[Category:African women]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
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      <text bytes="1366" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Thuli Madonsela|Thulisile Nomkhosi &quot;Thuli&quot; Madonsela]]''' (born 28 September 1962) is a South African [[w:advocate|advocate]] and professor of law, holding a chair in social justice at [[w:Stellenbosch University|Stellenbosch University]] since January 2018. She served as the [[w:Public Protector|Public Protector]] of South Africa from 19 October 2009 to 14 October 2016. In 1996, she helped draft the final [[w:constitution of South Africa|constitution of South Africa]] promulgated by then-[[w:President of South Africa|President]] [[Nelson Mandela]].

== Quotes ==
=== &quot;Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela&quot; (July 2018) ===
&lt;small&gt;[https://www.discovery.co.za/investments/thuli-madonsela-interview Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela] (July, 2018) by Discovery Investments retrieved 18 July 2022&lt;/small&gt;

* If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

* I believe that whatever I do has to resonate with what I believe is my purpose in life.
 
* We make democracy work for all.

* Inequality is a double-edged sword.

* Integrity is the hidden dimension to ethics. 

* Just do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. 

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT: Madonsela, Thuli}}
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      <text bytes="1429" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Thuli Madonsela|Thulisile Nomkhosi &quot;Thuli&quot; Madonsela]]''' (born 28 September 1962) is a South African [[w:advocate|advocate]] and professor of law, holding a chair in social justice at [[w:Stellenbosch University|Stellenbosch University]] since January 2018. She served as the [[w:Public Protector|Public Protector]] of South Africa from 19 October 2009 to 14 October 2016. In 1996, she helped draft the final [[w:constitution of South Africa|constitution of South Africa]] promulgated by then-[[w:President of South Africa|President]] [[Nelson Mandela]].

== Quotes ==
=== &quot;Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela&quot; (July 2018) ===
&lt;small&gt;[https://www.discovery.co.za/investments/thuli-madonsela-interview Former Public Protector: Advocate Thuli Madonsela] (July, 2018) by Discovery Investments retrieved 18 July 2022&lt;/small&gt;

* If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

* I believe that whatever I do has to resonate with what I believe is my purpose in life.
 
* We make democracy work for all.

* Inequality is a double-edged sword.

* Integrity is the hidden dimension to ethics. 

* Just do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. 

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT: Madonsela, Thuli}}
[[Category:1962 births]]
[[Category:Lawyers]]
[[Category:African women]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Women in law]]
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  <page>
    <title>Dineo Ranaka</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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Dineo Ranaka was born on the 16 December 1983 in South Africa. She is a prominent figure in the Arts of South Africa as she is a  radio personality an actress, DJ , TV producer and a television presenter.

== Quotes ==

* I am brave man, I like to try.
* “I’m not going to reduce myself just to make other people feel comfortable.
* [https://www.news24.com/truelove/archive/dineo-ranaka-on-her-never-say-die-hustler-spirit-20190522 Dineo Ranaka on her never-say-die hustler spirit] ( 22 May 2019) by Kemong Mopedi retrieved 19 July 2022
* The root of all sanity and serenity, where womanhood is concerned, is in the circle of queens and the quality of queens you keep in your life.”
* Try your best to not lose sleep or joy over things or situations that aren’t in your immediate control
* Live light. Laugh long. Love the ones you’re with and serve the ones you love.
* [https://theinsidersa.co.za/dineo-ranaka-unplug-with-her-best-friend-at-kagga-kamma/ DINEO RANAKA UNPLUGS WITH HER BEST-FRIEND AT KAGGA KAMMA] by  Cardova retrieved 19 July 2022

== External References ==

* [https://www.news24.com/truelove/archive/dineo-ranaka-on-her-never-say-die-hustler-spirit-20190522 Dineo Ranaka on her never-say-die hustler spirit] ( 22 May 2019) by Kemong Mopedi
* [https://theinsidersa.co.za/dineo-ranaka-unplug-with-her-best-friend-at-kagga-kamma/ DINEO RANAKA UNPLUGS WITH HER BEST-FRIEND AT KAGGA KAMMA] by  Cardova


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  <page>
    <title>Zoleka Mandela</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <text bytes="939" xml:space="preserve">Zoleka Mandela is a writer and and activist; she is the grand-daughter of Nelson Mandela the former President of [[South Africa]].

== Quotes ==

* Life ought to be about living beyond one self and that despite our own challenges in life.
** As quoted in [https://www.egypttoday.com/Article/1/82087/INTERVIEW-Zoleka-Mandela-A-story-of-a-fighter-for-road &quot;Zoleka Mandela: A story of a fighter for road safety&quot; by Nourhan Magdi, ''EgyptToday'' (27 February 2020)]&lt;!-- retrieved 19 July 2022 --&gt; 

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

* As quoted in [https://www.egypttoday.com/Article/1/82087/INTERVIEW-Zoleka-Mandela-A-story-of-a-fighter-for-road &quot;Zoleka Mandela: A story of a fighter for road safety&quot; by Nourhan Magdi, ''EgyptToday'' (27 February 20]
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Mandela, Zoleka}} 
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    <title>Hlubi Mboya Arnold</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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Hlubi Mboya Arnold was born 2 March 1978 she is a South African actress who has played a role in the popular soap opera Isidingo as Nandipha Sithole. She has graced the South African  screens on a movie in 2016 called Dora's Peace in which she won a SAFTA Award for supporting actors.

== Quotes ==

* 'I am not squeaky clean, I have made a lot of mistakes but that makes me the person I am today'
* 'Something's never change and that for me are principles and truth and love'
* [https://youtube/hfpQ4tIYOo4 Watch Hlubi Mboya Arnold’s ''200 Women'' interview] (12 February 2018) Nicola Sunday Times retrieved 21 July 2022 
* ''Oh my gosh, acting is an access for me to reach minds and spread the message of the things that I believe in.’’''
* ''There needs to be something burning inside you that pushes you to wake up and grind.’’''
* [https://www.entertainmentsa.co.za/2017/03/23/exclusive-e-sa-hlubi-mboya-arnold-talks-career-fitness-marriage-advice/ HLUBI MBOYA ARNOLD TALKS ABOUT CAREER, FITNESS AND MARRIAGE ADVICE!] (23 March 2017) by Entertainment S.A retrieved 21 July 2022

== External References ==

* [https://youtube/hfpQ4tIYOo4 Watch Hlubi Mboya Arnold’s ''200 Women'' interview] (12 February 2018) Nicola Sunday Times
* [https://www.entertainmentsa.co.za/2017/03/23/exclusive-e-sa-hlubi-mboya-arnold-talks-career-fitness-marriage-advice/ HLUBI MBOYA ARNOLD TALKS ABOUT CAREER, FITNESS AND MARRIAGE ADVICE!] (23 March 2017) by Entertainment S.A


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    <title>Waris Dirie</title>
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      <text bytes="2031" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Waris Dirie, 2018 during her visit to Sierra Leone.jpg|thumb|Waris Dirie]]
[[w:Waris Dirie|'''Waris Dirie''']] (born 1965) is a [[Somalia|Somali]] model, author, actress and human rights activist in the fight against Female Genital Mutilation ([[w:FGM|FGM]]). From 1997 to 2003, she was a [[United Nations|UN]] special ambassador against female genital mutilation. In 2002 she founded her own organization in [[Vienna]], the Desert Flower Foundation. 

== Quotes ==

* Women’s loyalty has to be earned with trust and affection, rather than barbaric rituals. The time has come to leave the old ways of suffering behind.
* Every 11 seconds a little girl is being mutilated somewhere in the world, it has nothing to do with religion, culture or tradition but against all rights of humanity its a crime its cruel its unacceptable.
** [https://pan-african.net/africas-most-influential-women-today/ Africa’s Most Influential Women Today] (12 April 2022) by Lola Bailey retrieved 25 July 2022
* I knew most married women in my community put up with everything and anything. Any abuse, hopelessness, and I thought, was I here to be used and be abused? I knew there was so much I could do with my life, but on my terms.
* I just knew that I had to tell the world that there was torture, an undercover war against women. But this is not one person's war – all of us have to do something.
* What really made me take a stand was that nobody was doing anything.
** [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/oct/14/waris-dirie-female-genital-mutilation-fgm Waris Dirie: 'Female genital mutilation is pure violence against girls] (14 October 2013) by Emine Saner retrieved 25 July 2022

== External links ==

* [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/oct/14/waris-dirie-female-genital-mutilation-fgm Waris Dirie: 'Female genital mutilation is pure violence against girls] (14 October 2013) by Emine Saner 

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== [[:Canis]] ==

Lack of notability — {{user:Changerinwiki}}

*Tagged this for speedy deletion as there is simply no quotes. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:07, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 12:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;</text>
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== [[:Big Mori]] ==

Lack of notability — {{user:Changerinwiki}}

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 13:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;</text>
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&lt;!-- Do not use the &quot;dated prod&quot; template directly; the above line is generated by &quot;subst:prod|reason&quot; --&gt;
I'm not Lucky. It's not because i didn't have a silver spoon in my mouth from birth. I'm extremely fortunate that i was born with a fire in my both of eyes and my heart.

[https://www.imdb.com/name/nm8524991/?mode=desktop&amp; From IMDb]</text>
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      <text bytes="237" xml:space="preserve">----I'm not Lucky. It's not because i didn't have a silver spoon in my mouth from birth. I'm extremely fortunate that i was born with a fire in my both of eyes and my heart.

[https://www.imdb.com/name/nm8524991/?mode=desktop&amp; From IMDb]</text>
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      <text bytes="482" xml:space="preserve">----I'm not Lucky. It's not because i didn't have a silver spoon in my mouth from birth. I'm extremely fortunate that i was born with a fire in my both of eyes and my heart. 

&lt;u&gt;I'm the greatest person ever born on this planet&lt;/u&gt;  - [[Digav Aaditya Singh Rajput]]

[https://www.imdb.com/name/nm8524991/?mode=desktop&amp; From IMDb] [https://m.wikidata.org/wiki/Q113330832 Wikidata] [https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Digav-aaditya-singh-rajput_16580790701752441.jpg Wikimedia]</text>
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      <text bytes="569" xml:space="preserve">[[File:2005digavaadityasinghrajut.jpg|thumb|alt=biography|Digav Aaditya Singh Rajut]]

----I'm not Lucky. It's not because i didn't have a silver spoon in my mouth from birth. I'm extremely fortunate that i was born with a fire in my both of eyes and my heart. 

&lt;u&gt;I'm the greatest person ever born on this planet&lt;/u&gt;  - [[Digav Aaditya Singh Rajput]]

[https://www.imdb.com/name/nm8524991/?mode=desktop&amp; From IMDb] [https://m.wikidata.org/wiki/Q113330832 Wikidata] [https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Digav-aaditya-singh-rajput_16580790701752441.jpg Wikimedia]</text>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="569" xml:space="preserve">[[File:2005digavadityasinghrajput.jpg|thumb|alt=Biography|Digav Aadity Singh Rajput]]

----I'm not Lucky. It's not because i didn't have a silver spoon in my mouth from birth. I'm extremely fortunate that i was born with a fire in my both of eyes and my heart. 

&lt;u&gt;I'm the greatest person ever born on this planet&lt;/u&gt;  - [[Digav Aaditya Singh Rajput]]

[https://www.imdb.com/name/nm8524991/?mode=desktop&amp; From IMDb] [https://m.wikidata.org/wiki/Q113330832 Wikidata] [https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Digav-aaditya-singh-rajput_16580790701752441.jpg Wikimedia]</text>
      <sha1>1jybwgupmd1ul9l1yqd1twabvngthw6</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>DC League of Super-Pets</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>249773</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149008</id>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:56:57Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Bszabo15</username>
        <id>1085757</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;{{italic title}} '''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson]], {{w|Kevin Hart}}, {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].  :''Directed by {{w|Jared Ste...&quot;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7236" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson]], {{w|Kevin Hart}}, {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].

:''Directed by {{w|Jared Stern}}. Written by Stern and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''

{{center|'''All pets have secrets, theirs are super.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Krypto ==
*Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
*Pup up and away!
*And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. ''[puts on his glasses]'' Bark Kent!
*My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
*Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities.
*This is the biggest menace Metropolis has ever seen.
*Relax. We'll be fine.
*That can't be sanitary.
*Technically, he flies.
*I started this with one best friend to save. And now, I have four more.
*Ace, attack!
*Super-Pets, activate!

== Ace ==
*I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
*We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
*You ain't normal, man.
*So it begins.
*That's cold, man.
*I'm a wild animal.
*Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
*We're just a bunch of shelter pets. But they're stronger than you think.
*Smell is the sight of the nose.
*You literally worship the ground that dude walks on.
*You know what they say about dogs? ''['''Krypto''': Never feed us chocolate.]'' We love unconditionally.

== PB ==
*Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
*Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
*Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

== Merton ==
*Where the heck am I?
*You win this round, lettuce.
*''[to a Garfield window clinger]'' What's happening, handsome?
*None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
*Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

== Chip ==
*Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— ''[lighting shoots out of his paws]''
*You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
*We're never fine!
*You can do this, Chip.

== Lulu ==
*Superman, I am Lulu, and you will kneel before me, you piece of… ''[squeaking]''
*A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Krypto''': What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
:'''Corgi''': I bit the {{w|FedEx}} guy the other day.
:'''Krypto''': Who was he working for? {{w|General Zod}}? [[w:Legion of Doom|The Legion of Doom]]?
:'''Corgi''': FedEx.
:'''Krypto''': Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
:'''Corgi''': ''[turns away]'' What is taking my owner so long?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]''
:'''Ace''': Man, that hurt.
:'''Krypto''': Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ace''': You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm one-eighth boxer!
:'''Krypto''': ''[places his paw on Ace's face]'' And seven-eighths chihuahua.
:'''Ace''': Chihuahuas are vicious!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to— ''[gets interrupted by Ace who is peeing]''
:'''Ace''': Sorry. You were saying something?
:'''Krypto''': How much did you have to drink?
:'''Ace''': I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet too, which is crazy. I didn't know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': This just seems gross.
:'''Ace''': What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
:'''Krypto''': Well, that explains the breath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': Ace, deploy canine shield.
:'''Ace''': What is a canine…?
:''[Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Marcus breathes fire at them]''
:'''Krypto''': Evade!
:''[They jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Krypto''': Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
:'''Ace''': ''[groans]'' Anybody want to switch powers?

== Cast ==
*[[Dwayne Johnson]] as [[w:Krypto|Krypto / Bark Kent / Superdog]]
*{{w|Kevin Hart}} as [[w:Ace the Bat-Hound|Ace / Bat-Hound]]
*{{w|Kate McKinnon}} as Lulu
*{{w|John Krasinski}} as [[Superman|Kal-El / Clark Kent / Superman]]
*{w|Vanessa Bayer}} as PB
*[[Natasha Lyonne]] as [[w:Terrific Whatzit|Merton / Terrific Whatzit]]
*{{w|Diego Luna}} as [[w:Ch'p|Chip]]
*{{w|Thomas Middleditch}} as Keith
*{{w|Ben Schwartz}} as Mark
*[[Keanu Reeves]] as [[Batman|Bruce Wayne / Batman]]
*[[Marc Maron]] as [[Lex Luthor]]
*{{w|Olivia Wilde}} as {{w|Lois Lane}}
*[[Jameela Jamil]] as [[Wonder Woman|Diana Prince / Wonder Woman]]
*{{w|Jemaine Clement}} as [[w:Aquaman|Arthur Curry / Aquaman]]
*[[w:John Early (comedian)|John Early]] as [[The Flash|Barry Allen / The Flash]]
*{{w|Daveed Diggs}} as [[w:Cyborg (DC Comics)|Victor Stone / Cyborg]]
*{{w|Dascha Polanco}} as [[w:Jessica Cruz|Jessica Cruz / Green Lantern]]

==Taglines==
*Sit, stay, save the world.
*Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
*All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
*They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
*He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
*The next pig thing. (PB)
*Shell yeah. (Merton)
*Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
*Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
*Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
*Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
*Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
*The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
*Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
*Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
*Keep up. (The Flash)
*He's had some work done. (Cyborg)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=8912936|title=DC League of Super-Pets}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Films about turtles]]
[[Category:Animated films about squirrels]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on DC Comics]]
[[Category:Animated Superman films]]
[[Category:Animated Batman films]]
[[Category:Animated Wonder Woman films]]
[[Category:Animated Flash (comics) films]]
[[Category:Animated Green Lantern films]]
[[Category:Animated Justice League films]]</text>
      <sha1>6yydfawjkebztue1344fyrtx1oeffr5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149009</id>
      <parentid>3149008</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:58:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Bszabo15</username>
        <id>1085757</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7234" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson]], {{w|Kevin Hart}}, {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].

:''Directed by {{w|Jared Stern}}. Written by Stern and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''

{{center|'''All pets have secrets, theirs are super.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Krypto ==
*Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
*Pup up and away!
*And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. ''[puts on his glasses]'' Bark Kent!
*My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
*Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities.
*This is the biggest menace Metropolis has ever seen.
*Relax. We'll be fine.
*That can't be sanitary.
*Technically, he flies.
*I started this with one best friend to save. And now, I have four more.
*Ace, attack!
*Super-Pets, activate!

== Ace ==
*I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
*We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
*You ain't normal, man.
*So it begins.
*That's cold, man.
*I'm a wild animal.
*Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
*We're just a bunch of shelter pets. But they're stronger than you think.
*Smell is the sight of the nose.
*You literally worship the ground that dude walks on.
*You know what they say about dogs? ''['''Krypto''': Never feed us chocolate.]'' We love unconditionally.

== PB ==
*Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
*Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
*Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

== Merton ==
*Where the heck am I?
*You win this round, lettuce.
*''[to a Garfield window clinger]'' What's happening, handsome?
*None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
*Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

== Chip ==
*Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— ''[lighting shoots out of his paws]''
*You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
*We're never fine!
*You can do this, Chip.

== Lulu ==
*Superman, I am Lulu, and you will kneel before me, you piece of… ''[squeaking]''
*A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Krypto''': What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
:'''Corgi''': I bit the {{w|FedEx}} guy the other day.
:'''Krypto''': Who was he working for? {{w|General Zod}}? [[w:Legion of Doom|The Legion of Doom]]?
:'''Corgi''': FedEx.
:'''Krypto''': Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
:'''Corgi''': ''[turns away]'' What is taking my owner so long?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]''
:'''Ace''': Man, that hurt.
:'''Krypto''': Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ace''': You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm one-eighth boxer!
:'''Krypto''': ''[places his paw on Ace's face]'' And seven-eighths chihuahua.
:'''Ace''': Chihuahuas are vicious!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to— ''[gets interrupted by Ace who is peeing]''
:'''Ace''': Sorry. You were saying something?
:'''Krypto''': How much did you have to drink?
:'''Ace''': I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet too, which is crazy. I didn't know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': This just seems gross.
:'''Ace''': What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
:'''Krypto''': Well, that explains the breath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': Ace, deploy canine shield.
:'''Ace''': What is a canine…?
:''[Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Mark breathes fire at them]''
:'''Krypto''': Evade!
:''[They jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Krypto''': Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
:'''Ace''': ''[groans]'' Anybody want to switch powers?

== Cast ==
*[[Dwayne Johnson]] as [[w:Krypto|Krypto / Bark Kent / Superdog]]
*{{w|Kevin Hart}} as [[w:Ace the Bat-Hound|Ace / Bat-Hound]]
*{{w|Kate McKinnon}} as Lulu
*{{w|John Krasinski}} as [[Superman|Kal-El / Clark Kent / Superman]]
*{w|Vanessa Bayer}} as PB
*[[Natasha Lyonne]] as [[w:Terrific Whatzit|Merton / Terrific Whatzit]]
*{{w|Diego Luna}} as [[w:Ch'p|Chip]]
*{{w|Thomas Middleditch}} as Keith
*{{w|Ben Schwartz}} as Mark
*[[Keanu Reeves]] as [[Batman|Bruce Wayne / Batman]]
*[[Marc Maron]] as [[Lex Luthor]]
*{{w|Olivia Wilde}} as {{w|Lois Lane}}
*[[Jameela Jamil]] as [[Wonder Woman|Diana Prince / Wonder Woman]]
*{{w|Jemaine Clement}} as [[w:Aquaman|Arthur Curry / Aquaman]]
*[[w:John Early (comedian)|John Early]] as [[The Flash|Barry Allen / The Flash]]
*{{w|Daveed Diggs}} as [[w:Cyborg (DC Comics)|Victor Stone / Cyborg]]
*{{w|Dascha Polanco}} as [[w:Jessica Cruz|Jessica Cruz / Green Lantern]]

==Taglines==
*Sit, stay, save the world.
*Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
*All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
*They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
*He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
*The next pig thing. (PB)
*Shell yeah. (Merton)
*Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
*Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
*Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
*Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
*Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
*The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
*Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
*Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
*Keep up. (The Flash)
*He's had some work done. (Cyborg)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=8912936|title=DC League of Super-Pets}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Films about turtles]]
[[Category:Animated films about squirrels]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on DC Comics]]
[[Category:Animated Superman films]]
[[Category:Animated Batman films]]
[[Category:Animated Wonder Woman films]]
[[Category:Animated Flash (comics) films]]
[[Category:Animated Green Lantern films]]
[[Category:Animated Justice League films]]</text>
      <sha1>6v52fdkoiqupxxvz2qutqv8dpfmajjr</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149010</id>
      <parentid>3149009</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T13:58:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Bszabo15</username>
        <id>1085757</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Cast */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7235" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson]], {{w|Kevin Hart}}, {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].

:''Directed by {{w|Jared Stern}}. Written by Stern and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''

{{center|'''All pets have secrets, theirs are super.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Krypto ==
*Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
*Pup up and away!
*And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. ''[puts on his glasses]'' Bark Kent!
*My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
*Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities.
*This is the biggest menace Metropolis has ever seen.
*Relax. We'll be fine.
*That can't be sanitary.
*Technically, he flies.
*I started this with one best friend to save. And now, I have four more.
*Ace, attack!
*Super-Pets, activate!

== Ace ==
*I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
*We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
*You ain't normal, man.
*So it begins.
*That's cold, man.
*I'm a wild animal.
*Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
*We're just a bunch of shelter pets. But they're stronger than you think.
*Smell is the sight of the nose.
*You literally worship the ground that dude walks on.
*You know what they say about dogs? ''['''Krypto''': Never feed us chocolate.]'' We love unconditionally.

== PB ==
*Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
*Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
*Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

== Merton ==
*Where the heck am I?
*You win this round, lettuce.
*''[to a Garfield window clinger]'' What's happening, handsome?
*None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
*Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

== Chip ==
*Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— ''[lighting shoots out of his paws]''
*You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
*We're never fine!
*You can do this, Chip.

== Lulu ==
*Superman, I am Lulu, and you will kneel before me, you piece of… ''[squeaking]''
*A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Krypto''': What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
:'''Corgi''': I bit the {{w|FedEx}} guy the other day.
:'''Krypto''': Who was he working for? {{w|General Zod}}? [[w:Legion of Doom|The Legion of Doom]]?
:'''Corgi''': FedEx.
:'''Krypto''': Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
:'''Corgi''': ''[turns away]'' What is taking my owner so long?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]''
:'''Ace''': Man, that hurt.
:'''Krypto''': Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ace''': You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm one-eighth boxer!
:'''Krypto''': ''[places his paw on Ace's face]'' And seven-eighths chihuahua.
:'''Ace''': Chihuahuas are vicious!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to— ''[gets interrupted by Ace who is peeing]''
:'''Ace''': Sorry. You were saying something?
:'''Krypto''': How much did you have to drink?
:'''Ace''': I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet too, which is crazy. I didn't know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': This just seems gross.
:'''Ace''': What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
:'''Krypto''': Well, that explains the breath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': Ace, deploy canine shield.
:'''Ace''': What is a canine…?
:''[Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Mark breathes fire at them]''
:'''Krypto''': Evade!
:''[They jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Krypto''': Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
:'''Ace''': ''[groans]'' Anybody want to switch powers?

== Cast ==
*[[Dwayne Johnson]] as [[w:Krypto|Krypto / Bark Kent / Superdog]]
*{{w|Kevin Hart}} as [[w:Ace the Bat-Hound|Ace / Bat-Hound]]
*{{w|Kate McKinnon}} as Lulu
*{{w|John Krasinski}} as [[Superman|Kal-El / Clark Kent / Superman]]
*{{w|Vanessa Bayer}} as PB
*[[Natasha Lyonne]] as [[w:Terrific Whatzit|Merton / Terrific Whatzit]]
*{{w|Diego Luna}} as [[w:Ch'p|Chip]]
*{{w|Thomas Middleditch}} as Keith
*{{w|Ben Schwartz}} as Mark
*[[Keanu Reeves]] as [[Batman|Bruce Wayne / Batman]]
*[[Marc Maron]] as [[Lex Luthor]]
*{{w|Olivia Wilde}} as {{w|Lois Lane}}
*[[Jameela Jamil]] as [[Wonder Woman|Diana Prince / Wonder Woman]]
*{{w|Jemaine Clement}} as [[w:Aquaman|Arthur Curry / Aquaman]]
*[[w:John Early (comedian)|John Early]] as [[The Flash|Barry Allen / The Flash]]
*{{w|Daveed Diggs}} as [[w:Cyborg (DC Comics)|Victor Stone / Cyborg]]
*{{w|Dascha Polanco}} as [[w:Jessica Cruz|Jessica Cruz / Green Lantern]]

==Taglines==
*Sit, stay, save the world.
*Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
*All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
*They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
*He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
*The next pig thing. (PB)
*Shell yeah. (Merton)
*Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
*Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
*Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
*Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
*Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
*The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
*Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
*Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
*Keep up. (The Flash)
*He's had some work done. (Cyborg)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=8912936|title=DC League of Super-Pets}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Films about turtles]]
[[Category:Animated films about squirrels]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on DC Comics]]
[[Category:Animated Superman films]]
[[Category:Animated Batman films]]
[[Category:Animated Wonder Woman films]]
[[Category:Animated Flash (comics) films]]
[[Category:Animated Green Lantern films]]
[[Category:Animated Justice League films]]</text>
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      <id>3149015</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T14:23:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
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      <comment>removed stub tag</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="7218" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson]], {{w|Kevin Hart}}, {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].
:''Directed by {{w|Jared Stern}}. Written by Stern and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''
{{center|'''All pets have secrets, theirs are super.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

== Krypto ==
*Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
*Pup up and away!
*And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. ''[puts on his glasses]'' Bark Kent!
*My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
*Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities.
*This is the biggest menace Metropolis has ever seen.
*Relax. We'll be fine.
*That can't be sanitary.
*Technically, he flies.
*I started this with one best friend to save. And now, I have four more.
*Ace, attack!
*Super-Pets, activate!

== Ace ==
*I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
*We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
*You ain't normal, man.
*So it begins.
*That's cold, man.
*I'm a wild animal.
*Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
*We're just a bunch of shelter pets. But they're stronger than you think.
*Smell is the sight of the nose.
*You literally worship the ground that dude walks on.
*You know what they say about dogs? ''['''Krypto''': Never feed us chocolate.]'' We love unconditionally.

== PB ==
*Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
*Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
*Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

== Merton ==
*Where the heck am I?
*You win this round, lettuce.
*''[to a Garfield window clinger]'' What's happening, handsome?
*None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
*Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

== Chip ==
*Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— ''[lighting shoots out of his paws]''
*You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
*We're never fine!
*You can do this, Chip.

== Lulu ==
*Superman, I am Lulu, and you will kneel before me, you piece of… ''[squeaking]''
*A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Krypto''': What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
:'''Corgi''': I bit the {{w|FedEx}} guy the other day.
:'''Krypto''': Who was he working for? {{w|General Zod}}? [[w:Legion of Doom|The Legion of Doom]]?
:'''Corgi''': FedEx.
:'''Krypto''': Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
:'''Corgi''': ''[turns away]'' What is taking my owner so long?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]''
:'''Ace''': Man, that hurt.
:'''Krypto''': Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ace''': You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm one-eighth boxer!
:'''Krypto''': ''[places his paw on Ace's face]'' And seven-eighths chihuahua.
:'''Ace''': Chihuahuas are vicious!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to— ''[gets interrupted by Ace who is peeing]''
:'''Ace''': Sorry. You were saying something?
:'''Krypto''': How much did you have to drink?
:'''Ace''': I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet too, which is crazy. I didn't know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': This just seems gross.
:'''Ace''': What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
:'''Krypto''': Well, that explains the breath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': Ace, deploy canine shield.
:'''Ace''': What is a canine…?
:''[Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Mark breathes fire at them]''
:'''Krypto''': Evade!
:''[They jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Krypto''': Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
:'''Ace''': ''[groans]'' Anybody want to switch powers?

== Cast ==
*[[Dwayne Johnson]] as [[w:Krypto|Krypto / Bark Kent / Superdog]]
*{{w|Kevin Hart}} as [[w:Ace the Bat-Hound|Ace / Bat-Hound]]
*{{w|Kate McKinnon}} as Lulu
*{{w|John Krasinski}} as [[Superman|Kal-El / Clark Kent / Superman]]
*{{w|Vanessa Bayer}} as PB
*[[Natasha Lyonne]] as [[w:Terrific Whatzit|Merton / Terrific Whatzit]]
*{{w|Diego Luna}} as [[w:Ch'p|Chip]]
*{{w|Thomas Middleditch}} as Keith
*{{w|Ben Schwartz}} as Mark
*[[Keanu Reeves]] as [[Batman|Bruce Wayne / Batman]]
*[[Marc Maron]] as [[Lex Luthor]]
*{{w|Olivia Wilde}} as {{w|Lois Lane}}
*[[Jameela Jamil]] as [[Wonder Woman|Diana Prince / Wonder Woman]]
*{{w|Jemaine Clement}} as [[w:Aquaman|Arthur Curry / Aquaman]]
*[[w:John Early (comedian)|John Early]] as [[The Flash|Barry Allen / The Flash]]
*{{w|Daveed Diggs}} as [[w:Cyborg (DC Comics)|Victor Stone / Cyborg]]
*{{w|Dascha Polanco}} as [[w:Jessica Cruz|Jessica Cruz / Green Lantern]]

==Taglines==
*Sit, stay, save the world.
*Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
*All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
*They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
*He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
*The next pig thing. (PB)
*Shell yeah. (Merton)
*Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
*Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
*Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
*Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
*Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
*The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
*Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
*Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
*Keep up. (The Flash)
*He's had some work done. (Cyborg)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=8912936|title=DC League of Super-Pets}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Films about turtles]]
[[Category:Animated films about squirrels]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on DC Comics]]
[[Category:Animated Superman films]]
[[Category:Animated Batman films]]
[[Category:Animated Wonder Woman films]]
[[Category:Animated Flash (comics) films]]
[[Category:Animated Green Lantern films]]
[[Category:Animated Justice League films]]</text>
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      <id>3149100</id>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Bszabo15</username>
        <id>1085757</id>
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      <comment>/* Taglines */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="7244" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson]], {{w|Kevin Hart}}, {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].
:''Directed by {{w|Jared Stern}}. Written by Stern and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''
{{center|'''All pets have secrets, theirs are super.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

== Krypto ==
*Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
*Pup up and away!
*And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. ''[puts on his glasses]'' Bark Kent!
*My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
*Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities.
*This is the biggest menace Metropolis has ever seen.
*Relax. We'll be fine.
*That can't be sanitary.
*Technically, he flies.
*I started this with one best friend to save. And now, I have four more.
*Ace, attack!
*Super-Pets, activate!

== Ace ==
*I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
*We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
*You ain't normal, man.
*So it begins.
*That's cold, man.
*I'm a wild animal.
*Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
*We're just a bunch of shelter pets. But they're stronger than you think.
*Smell is the sight of the nose.
*You literally worship the ground that dude walks on.
*You know what they say about dogs? ''['''Krypto''': Never feed us chocolate.]'' We love unconditionally.

== PB ==
*Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
*Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
*Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

== Merton ==
*Where the heck am I?
*You win this round, lettuce.
*''[to a Garfield window clinger]'' What's happening, handsome?
*None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
*Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

== Chip ==
*Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— ''[lighting shoots out of his paws]''
*You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
*We're never fine!
*You can do this, Chip.

== Lulu ==
*Superman, I am Lulu, and you will kneel before me, you piece of… ''[squeaking]''
*A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Krypto''': What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
:'''Corgi''': I bit the {{w|FedEx}} guy the other day.
:'''Krypto''': Who was he working for? {{w|General Zod}}? [[w:Legion of Doom|The Legion of Doom]]?
:'''Corgi''': FedEx.
:'''Krypto''': Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
:'''Corgi''': ''[turns away]'' What is taking my owner so long?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]''
:'''Ace''': Man, that hurt.
:'''Krypto''': Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ace''': You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm one-eighth boxer!
:'''Krypto''': ''[places his paw on Ace's face]'' And seven-eighths chihuahua.
:'''Ace''': Chihuahuas are vicious!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to— ''[gets interrupted by Ace who is peeing]''
:'''Ace''': Sorry. You were saying something?
:'''Krypto''': How much did you have to drink?
:'''Ace''': I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet too, which is crazy. I didn't know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': This just seems gross.
:'''Ace''': What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
:'''Krypto''': Well, that explains the breath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': Ace, deploy canine shield.
:'''Ace''': What is a canine…?
:''[Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Mark breathes fire at them]''
:'''Krypto''': Evade!
:''[They jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Krypto''': Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
:'''Ace''': ''[groans]'' Anybody want to switch powers?

== Cast ==
*[[Dwayne Johnson]] as [[w:Krypto|Krypto / Bark Kent / Superdog]]
*{{w|Kevin Hart}} as [[w:Ace the Bat-Hound|Ace / Bat-Hound]]
*{{w|Kate McKinnon}} as Lulu
*{{w|John Krasinski}} as [[Superman|Kal-El / Clark Kent / Superman]]
*{{w|Vanessa Bayer}} as PB
*[[Natasha Lyonne]] as [[w:Terrific Whatzit|Merton / Terrific Whatzit]]
*{{w|Diego Luna}} as [[w:Ch'p|Chip]]
*{{w|Thomas Middleditch}} as Keith
*{{w|Ben Schwartz}} as Mark
*[[Keanu Reeves]] as [[Batman|Bruce Wayne / Batman]]
*[[Marc Maron]] as [[Lex Luthor]]
*{{w|Olivia Wilde}} as {{w|Lois Lane}}
*[[Jameela Jamil]] as [[Wonder Woman|Diana Prince / Wonder Woman]]
*{{w|Jemaine Clement}} as [[w:Aquaman|Arthur Curry / Aquaman]]
*[[w:John Early (comedian)|John Early]] as [[The Flash|Barry Allen / The Flash]]
*{{w|Daveed Diggs}} as [[w:Cyborg (DC Comics)|Victor Stone / Cyborg]]
*{{w|Dascha Polanco}} as [[w:Jessica Cruz|Jessica Cruz / Green Lantern]]

==Taglines==
*Sit, stay, save the world.
*Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
*All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
*They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
*He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
*The next pig thing. (PB)
*Shell yeah. (Merton)
*Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
*Squeak of nature. (Lulu)
*Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
*Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
*Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
*Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
*The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
*Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
*Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
*Keep up. (The Flash)
*He's had some work done. (Cyborg)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=8912936|title=DC League of Super-Pets}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Films about turtles]]
[[Category:Animated films about squirrels]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on DC Comics]]
[[Category:Animated Superman films]]
[[Category:Animated Batman films]]
[[Category:Animated Wonder Woman films]]
[[Category:Animated Flash (comics) films]]
[[Category:Animated Green Lantern films]]
[[Category:Animated Justice League films]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Abena Busia</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Vanessa Proctor</username>
        <id>3126920</id>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;Abena Busia was in born 1953. She is from Ghana and she is by profession a writer and a poet. She is a well known feminist and is also a lecturer and a diplomat. Abena Busia is the daughter of a former Prime Minister of Ghana Kofi Abrefa Busia. She is also the sister of actress Akosua Busia. Busia is currently the associate professor of Literature in English, and of women's and gender studies at Rutgers University. Busia is currently the ambassador to Brazil, appointed i...&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="1819" xml:space="preserve">Abena Busia was in born 1953. She is from Ghana and she is by profession a writer and a poet. She is a well known feminist and is also a lecturer and a diplomat. Abena Busia is the daughter of a former Prime Minister of Ghana Kofi Abrefa Busia. She is also the sister of actress Akosua Busia. Busia is currently the associate professor of Literature in English, and of women's and gender studies at Rutgers University. Busia is currently the ambassador to Brazil, appointed in 2017, with accreditation to the other 12 republics of South America.

== Quotes ==

* I came to the United States of America conscious of my African-ness, conscious of my blackness, I became conscious of women studies and became a  feminist
* A lot of work is being done by feminist because we have to think about breaking the glass ceilings and think about if the systems we have been living under will work for us what is different what to do
* Thinking through what makes a leader, how do you communicate and how do you organize yourself
* What makes a leader different is the different communication styles respecting different forms of leadership
* Historically leadership and the concept has always been the top down one most of us who do leadership training we do the bottom up leadership you don't impose structure you figure out organically who the people are
* [https://rucore.libraries.rutgers.edu/rutgers-lib/57398/ Interview with Abena Busia] ( 2015) by RUcore: Rutgers University Community Repository retrieved 29 July 2022


== External References ==

* [https://rucore.libraries.rutgers.edu/rutgers-lib/57398/ Interview with Abena Busia] ( 2015) by RUcore: Rutgers University Community Repository


[[Category:1953 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Women]]
[[Category:Feminists]]
[[Category:Diplomats by country]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1851" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Abena Busia|Abena Pokua Adompim Busia]]''' (born 1953) is a [[w:Ghanaian|Ghanaian]] writer, poet, feminist, lecturer and [[w:diplomat|diplomat]]. She is a daughter of former [[w:Prime Minister of Ghana|Prime Minister of Ghana]] [[w:Kofi Abrefa Busia|Kofi Abrefa Busia]], and is the sister of actress [[w:Akosua Busia|Akosua Busia]]. Busia is an associate professor of [[w:Literature|Literature]] in English, and of women's and gender studies at [[w:Rutgers University|Rutgers University]]. She is Ghana's ambassador to [[Brazil]], appointed in 2017, with accreditation to the other 12 republics of South America.

== Quotes ==
=== &quot;Interview with Abena Busia&quot; (2015) ===
&lt;small&gt;[https://rucore.libraries.rutgers.edu/rutgers-lib/57398/ Interview with Abena Busia] (2015) by RUcore: Rutgers University Community Repository retrieved 29 July 2022&lt;/small&gt;

* I came to the United States of America conscious of my African-ness, conscious of my blackness, I became conscious of women studies and became a feminist.

* A lot of work is being done by feminist because we have to think about breaking the glass ceilings and think about if the systems we have been living under will work for us what is different what to do.

* Thinking through what makes a leader, how do you communicate and how do you organize yourself.

* What makes a leader different is the different communication styles respecting different forms of leadership.

* Historically leadership and the concept has always been the top down one most of us who do leadership training we do the bottom up leadership you don't impose structure you figure out organically who the people are.

== External References ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Busia, Abena}}
[[Category:1953 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Women]]
[[Category:Feminists]]
[[Category:Diplomats by country]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1846" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Abena Busia|Abena Pokua Adompim Busia]]''' (born 1953) is a [[w:Ghanaian|Ghanaian]] writer, poet, feminist, lecturer and [[w:diplomat|diplomat]]. She is a daughter of former [[w:Prime Minister of Ghana|Prime Minister of Ghana]] [[w:Kofi Abrefa Busia|Kofi Abrefa Busia]], and is the sister of actress [[w:Akosua Busia|Akosua Busia]]. Busia is an associate professor of [[w:Literature|Literature]] in English, and of women's and gender studies at [[w:Rutgers University|Rutgers University]]. She is Ghana's ambassador to [[Brazil]], appointed in 2017, with accreditation to the other 12 republics of South America.

== Quotes ==
=== &quot;Interview with Abena Busia&quot; (2015) ===
&lt;small&gt;[https://rucore.libraries.rutgers.edu/rutgers-lib/57398/ Interview with Abena Busia] (2015) by RUcore: Rutgers University Community Repository retrieved 29 July 2022&lt;/small&gt;

* I came to the United States of America conscious of my African-ness, conscious of my blackness, I became conscious of women studies and became a feminist.

* A lot of work is being done by feminist because we have to think about breaking the glass ceilings and think about if the systems we have been living under will work for us what is different what to do.

* Thinking through what makes a leader, how do you communicate and how do you organize yourself.

* What makes a leader different is the different communication styles respecting different forms of leadership.

* Historically leadership and the concept has always been the top down one most of us who do leadership training we do the bottom up leadership you don't impose structure you figure out organically who the people are.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Busia, Abena}}
[[Category:1953 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Women]]
[[Category:Feminists]]
[[Category:Diplomats by country]]</text>
      <sha1>crgo57txepw34jgzmb1z2xidcawrng8</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149036</id>
      <parentid>3149035</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T15:34:59Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+ 3 categories; ± 2 categories using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1918" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Abena Busia|Abena Pokua Adompim Busia]]''' (born 1953) is a [[w:Ghanaian|Ghanaian]] writer, poet, feminist, lecturer and [[w:diplomat|diplomat]]. She is a daughter of former [[w:Prime Minister of Ghana|Prime Minister of Ghana]] [[w:Kofi Abrefa Busia|Kofi Abrefa Busia]], and is the sister of actress [[w:Akosua Busia|Akosua Busia]]. Busia is an associate professor of [[w:Literature|Literature]] in English, and of women's and gender studies at [[w:Rutgers University|Rutgers University]]. She is Ghana's ambassador to [[Brazil]], appointed in 2017, with accreditation to the other 12 republics of South America.

== Quotes ==
=== &quot;Interview with Abena Busia&quot; (2015) ===
&lt;small&gt;[https://rucore.libraries.rutgers.edu/rutgers-lib/57398/ Interview with Abena Busia] (2015) by RUcore: Rutgers University Community Repository retrieved 29 July 2022&lt;/small&gt;

* I came to the United States of America conscious of my African-ness, conscious of my blackness, I became conscious of women studies and became a feminist.

* A lot of work is being done by feminist because we have to think about breaking the glass ceilings and think about if the systems we have been living under will work for us what is different what to do.

* Thinking through what makes a leader, how do you communicate and how do you organize yourself.

* What makes a leader different is the different communication styles respecting different forms of leadership.

* Historically leadership and the concept has always been the top down one most of us who do leadership training we do the bottom up leadership you don't impose structure you figure out organically who the people are.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Busia, Abena}}
[[Category:1953 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:African women]]
[[Category:Feminists]]
[[Category:Ambassadors]]
[[Category:Poets]]
[[Category:People from Ghana]]
[[Category:Educators]]</text>
      <sha1>8pikwygj8w4cqimuwmkt6dba775xzqx</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Thulisile Mandosela</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>249777</id>
    <redirect title="Thuli Madonsela" />
    <revision>
      <id>3149042</id>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T15:45:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>UDScott moved page [[Thulisile Mandosela]] to [[Thuli Madonsela]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="29" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT [[Thuli Madonsela]]</text>
      <sha1>c690ljx1vplg9hacprufrwzoldiivaw</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Subst</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>249778</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149052</id>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:05:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Start deletion discussion</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="826" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Module:Subst]] ==

This seems to be an attempt to recreate &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{subst:&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt; entirely in LUA.

Just, why? Why does this need to exist? What possible use could it have? If you're making a template with wiki markup just use &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{subst:foo}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;, which is better in every conceivable way than using &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{#invoke:subst|main|foo}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;. If you're writing your template in LUA then just have the module output the finished content that is supposed to go into the page, don't add the middle man of substituting templates. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;</text>
      <sha1>5tb5d7pxnerypundcezcyu39rwz5cb7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149084</id>
      <parentid>3149052</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:07:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Module:Subst */ del</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="933" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Module:Subst]] ==

This seems to be an attempt to recreate &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{subst:&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt; entirely in LUA.

Just, why? Why does this need to exist? What possible use could it have? If you're making a template with wiki markup just use &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{subst:foo}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;, which is better in every conceivable way than using &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{#invoke:subst|main|foo}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;. If you're writing your template in LUA then just have the module output the finished content that is supposed to go into the page, don't add the middle man of substituting templates. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''Delete''', per nom. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:07, 29 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>f5rryen1de42u466020xhbo3yqomw4c</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149090</id>
      <parentid>3149084</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:33:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>add</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1073" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Module:Subst]] ==

This seems to be an attempt to recreate &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{subst:&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt; entirely in LUA.

Just, why? Why does this need to exist? What possible use could it have? If you're making a template with wiki markup just use &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{subst:foo}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;, which is better in every conceivable way than using &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{#invoke:subst|main|foo}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;. If you're writing your template in LUA then just have the module output the finished content that is supposed to go into the page, don't add the middle man of substituting templates. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:04, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
: This nomination includes [[Module:Subst/sub]], which is blank. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 17:33, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''Delete''', per nom. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:07, 29 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>6w6i2wcz7do2nm39yjlcqu1pmhvbp9p</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Hash</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>249779</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149058</id>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:10:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Start deletion discussion</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="945" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Module:Hash]] ==

There are two issues with this module.

First of all, where, in a compendium of quotations, is cryptographically hashing random bits of wikitext useful functionality? The only place I found it in use it was essentially being used as an overly complicated random number generator (now removed).

Secondly, per the note on the talk page, this has been nicked from some random person's GitHub project. It wasn't immediately obvious what licence that project is under at a quick glance, but it does state that it incorporates code under a variety of free licences. At the minimum we appear to be in violation of those licences since we do not have a copy of the licence text available. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;</text>
      <sha1>4n9iig8gr82n9sws0kz18npxfuabtlq</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149083</id>
      <parentid>3149058</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:07:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Module:Hash */ del</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1052" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Module:Hash]] ==

There are two issues with this module.

First of all, where, in a compendium of quotations, is cryptographically hashing random bits of wikitext useful functionality? The only place I found it in use it was essentially being used as an overly complicated random number generator (now removed).

Secondly, per the note on the talk page, this has been nicked from some random person's GitHub project. It wasn't immediately obvious what licence that project is under at a quick glance, but it does state that it incorporates code under a variety of free licences. At the minimum we appear to be in violation of those licences since we do not have a copy of the licence text available. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''Delete''', per nom. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:07, 29 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>creq62jfjgboxx155l6m0ckx8jy8ltr</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote-line</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>249780</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149060</id>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:18:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Start deletion discussion</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="643" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Template:Longquote-line]] ==

This template consists of a single &amp;#60;hr&gt; (Horizontal rule) HTML element, wrapped in some span tags so that it only displays if you modify your personal common.css file. As I explained at [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote]] we should not be expecting random site visitors to write their own CSS in order to view basic quotation formatting templates. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:18, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;</text>
      <sha1>jwsncz60cki89umuk6jvdp7e9pxoarn</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149082</id>
      <parentid>3149060</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:07:29Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Template:Longquote-line */ del</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="750" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Template:Longquote-line]] ==

This template consists of a single &amp;#60;hr&gt; (Horizontal rule) HTML element, wrapped in some span tags so that it only displays if you modify your personal common.css file. As I explained at [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote]] we should not be expecting random site visitors to write their own CSS in order to view basic quotation formatting templates. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:18, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''Delete''', per nom. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:07, 29 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>owoi8bf29lurt2mekjlztvahk9sp90g</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Uw-speedydeletion</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>249781</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149068</id>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:36:25Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Start deletion discussion</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1121" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Template:Uw-speedydeletion]] ==

This is for [[Template:Uw-speedydeletion]] and [[Template:Db-notice]], which are two halves of the same template.

Talk page notice that has been copied from the English Wikipedia, with a half-arsed attempt to localise it. This template tells people who have just had a page deleted that it didn't conform to Wikipedia's guidelines, that the reason for the deletion is in Wikipedia's criteria for speedy deletion, tells them to contest the deletion by clicking a button that doesn't exist. This template has (thankfully) only been given to one user. I think that if this kind of warning was thought to be a useful it would be better to start from scratch and write a template that actually makes sense for this project and its deletion policies, instead of blindly copy pasting a template from another project with different deletion process. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:36, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;</text>
      <sha1>chiwh90xjwkxhk7yumb88yhpzhpcka5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149071</id>
      <parentid>3149068</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T16:43:50Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>ce</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1127" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Template:Uw-speedydeletion]] ==

This is for [[Template:Uw-speedydeletion]] and [[Template:Db-notice]], which are two halves of the same template.

Talk page notice that has been copied from the English Wikipedia, with a half-arsed attempt to localise it. This template tells people who have just had a page deleted that it didn't conform to Wikipedia's guidelines, that the reason for the deletion is in Wikipedia's criteria for speedy deletion, and tells them to contest the deletion by clicking a button that doesn't exist. This template has (thankfully) only been given to one user. I think that if this kind of warning was thought to be a useful it would be better to start from scratch and write a template that actually makes sense for this project and its deletion policies, instead of blindly copy pasting a template from another project with a different deletion process. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:36, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;</text>
      <sha1>997ltxsworuj92qj6sjvwz2985cfzus</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149081</id>
      <parentid>3149071</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T17:07:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Template:Uw-speedydeletion */ del</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1234" xml:space="preserve">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|Wikiquote| |{{error:not substituted|vfd-new2}}&lt;div style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;}}
== [[:Template:Uw-speedydeletion]] ==

This is for [[Template:Uw-speedydeletion]] and [[Template:Db-notice]], which are two halves of the same template.

Talk page notice that has been copied from the English Wikipedia, with a half-arsed attempt to localise it. This template tells people who have just had a page deleted that it didn't conform to Wikipedia's guidelines, that the reason for the deletion is in Wikipedia's criteria for speedy deletion, and tells them to contest the deletion by clicking a button that doesn't exist. This template has (thankfully) only been given to one user. I think that if this kind of warning was thought to be a useful it would be better to start from scratch and write a template that actually makes sense for this project and its deletion policies, instead of blindly copy pasting a template from another project with a different deletion process. — [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:36, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt;'''Vote closes''': 17:00, 5 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''Delete''', per nom. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:07, 29 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>s1j1k26sl692pvme16uca46smjogi77</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>John Wick: Chapter 2</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>249782</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3149108</id>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T20:57:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;{{italic title}} '''''[[w:John Wick: Chapter 2|]]''''' is a [[w:2017 in film|2017 film]] in which, after returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life. :''Directed by [[w:Chad Stahelski|]]. Written by [[w:Derek Kolstad|]].''  &lt;center&gt;'''The only way out is back in.'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/center&gt;  == John Wick == * You wanted me back... I'm back!  * The knife is in your aor...&quot;</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7974" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:John Wick: Chapter 2|John Wick: Chapter 2]]''''' is a [[w:2017 in film|2017 film]] in which, after returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life.
:''Directed by [[w:Chad Stahelski|Chad Stahelski]]. Written by [[w:Derek Kolstad|Derek Kolstad]].'' 
&lt;center&gt;'''The only way out is back in.'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/center&gt;

== John Wick ==
* You wanted me back... I'm back!

* The knife is in your aorta. You pull it out, you will bleed and you will die. Consider this a professional courtesy. ''[John walks away]''

== Winston ==
* ''[to Santino, about John Wick]'' You stabbed the devil in the back and forced him back into the life that he had just left. You incinerated the priest's temple. Burned it to the ground. Now he's free of the marker, what do you think he'll do? He had a glimpse of the other side and he embraced it. But you, Signor D'Antonio... took it away from him.

== Other ==
* '''Abram Tarasov''': I can assure you that the stories you hear about John Wick, if nothing else, have been watered down.

* '''Santino D'Antonio''': No wife, no dog, no home. You have nothing, John. Vengeance is all you have left.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Listen to me. What is this? Hmm? Do you remember? This is your blood. You came to me. I helped you. If you don't do this, you know the consequences.
:'''John Wick''': I'm not that guy anymore.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': You are always that guy, John.
:'''John Wick''': I can't help you. I'm sorry.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': You're right. You can't. But he can. I'll see you soon, John.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Good evening, John.
:'''John Wick''': Hey, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[points at burning house in the background]'' Gas leak?
:'''John Wick''': Yeah. Gas leak.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[beat]'' You workin' again?
:'''John Wick''': I'll see you, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': Have a nice night, John. ''[pause]'' Shit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Julius''': I fail to recall the last time you were in Rome. And here I'd heard... you had retired.
:'''John Wick''': I had.
:'''Julius''': Then humor me with, uh... but one question. ''Sei qui per il Santo Padre''? ''[translation: Are you here for the Pope?]''
:'''John Wick''': No.
:'''Julius''': All right then. ''[Pulls out a key]'' One of our finest rooms.
:'''John Wick''': Grazie.
:'''Julius''': Enjoy your stay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sommelier''': Good afternoon, Mr. Wick. It's been a long time.
:'''John Wick''': I'd like a tasting.
:'''Sommelier''': I know of your past fondness for the German varietals, but I can wholeheartedly endorse the new breed of Austrians. Glock .34 and .26. Recontoured grips. Flared magwell for easier reloads. And I know you'll appreciate the custom porting. What's next?
:'''John Wick''': I need something robust. Precise.
:'''Sommelier''': &quot;Robust. Precise.&quot; AR-15, 11.5-inch. Compensated with an ion-bonded bolt carrier. Trijicon accupoint with 1-6 magnification.
:'''John Wick''': Could you recommend anything for the end of the night? Something big, bold.
:'''Sommelier''': May I suggest the Benelli M4? Custom bolt carrier release and charging handle. Textured grips, should your hands get... wet. An Italian classic.
:'''John Wick''': Dessert?
:'''Sommelier''': Dessert. The finest cutlery. All freshly stoned. Shall I have everything sent to your room?
:'''John Wick''': Yes. Thank you.
:'''Sommelier''': Excellent. Mr. Wick? Do enjoy your party.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Italian Tailor''': Buongiorno, signor Wick.
:'''John Wick''': Ciao, Angelo.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Welcome back to Rome.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Tell me, Mr. Wick, is this a formal event or a social affair?
:'''John Wick''': Social.
:'''Italian Tailor''': And is this for day or evening?
:'''John Wick''': I need one for day and one for night.
:'''Italian Tailor''': And what style?
:'''John Wick''': Italian.
:'''Italian Tailor''': How many buttons?
:'''John Wick''': Two.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Trousers?
:'''John Wick''': Tapered.
:'''Italian Tailor''': How about the lining?
:'''John Wick''': Tactical.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Silicon carbide discs. Ceramic matrices. Accompanying laminates. Cutting-edge body armor. We just sew it between the fabric and the lining. Zero penetration. However... Quite painful, I'm afraid.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassian''': You working?
:'''John Wick''': Yeah... You?
:'''Cassian''': Yeah... Good night?
:'''John Wick''': Afraid so.
:'''Cassian''': Sorry to hear that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': As I live and ''breathe''! John Wick. The man. The myth. The legend. You're not very good at retiring.
:'''John Wick''': I'm workin' on it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': He's offered seven million dollars for your life. Seven million dollars is a lot of money, Mr. Wick.
:'''John Wick''': So I guess you have a choice. You want a war? Or do you wanna just give me a gun?
:'''Bowery King''': Somebody, please! Get this man a gun!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': Oh, and remember... you owe me.
:'''John Wick''': You don't want me owing you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassian''': So, you're free?
:'''John Wick''': Am I?
:'''Cassian''': No. Not at all. You killed my ward. Someone I was close to. An eye for an eye, John. You know how it goes.
:'''John Wick''': Yeah.
:''[They both drink]''
:'''Cassian''': I'll make it quick. I promise.
:'''John Wick''': I appreciate that. I'll try and do the same.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Winston!
:'''Winston''': Mr. D'Antonio, your evening has been colorful I see. Seeking safe harbor, I presume.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': I want his membership revoked now.
:'''Winston''': In the eyes of this institution Mr. Wick has breached no legality.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Then you know that I have the right to demand...
:'''Winston''': Nothing, you demand nothing of me, Mr. D'Antonio. This kingdom is mine and mine alone.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Alright. Then enjoy your kingdom, Winston, while you still can.
:'''Winston''': And you, its privileges, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Winston''': ''[at he Continental]'' Jonathan, listen to me.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': A man can stay here a long time and never eat the same meal twice.
:'''Winston''': Jonathan, just walk away.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Yeah Jonathan. Walk aw...
:''[John kills Santino with a bullet in the forehead]''
:'''Winston''': What have you done?
:'''John Wick''': Finished it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''John Wick''': Winston... tell them... Tell them all... Whoever comes, whoever it is... I'll kill them. I'll kill them all.
:'''Winston''': 'Course you will.

== Taglines ==
* The only way out is back in.

* Never stab the devil in the back.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - [[w:John Wick (character)|John Wick]]
* [[Common (rapper)|Common]] - Cassian
* [[w:Laurence Fishburne|Laurence Fishburne]] - &quot;The Bowery King&quot;
* [[w:Riccardo Scamarcio|Riccardo Scamarcio]] - Santino D'Antonio
* [[w:Ruby Rose|Ruby Rose]] - Ares
* [[w:Lance Reddick|Lance Reddick]] - Charon
* [[w:Peter Stormare|Peter Stormare]] - Abram Tarasov
* [[w:Bridget Moynahan|Bridget Moynahan]] - Helen Wick
* [[w:Franco Nero|Franco Nero]] - Julius
* [[John Leguizamo]] - Aurelio
* [[Ian McShane]] - Winston
* [[w:Claudia Gerini|Claudia Gerini]] - Gianna D'Antonio
* Wass Stevens - Consiglieri
* [[w:Peter Serafinowicz|Peter Serafinowicz]] - The Sommelier
* [[w:Tobias Segal|Tobias Segal]] - Earl
* [[w:Thomas Sadoski|Thomas Sadoski]] - Jimmy
* [[w:Chuk Iwuji|Chuk Iwuji]] - Mr. Akoni
* [[w:Yamamotoyama Ryūta|Yamamotoyama Ryūta]] - Rajah
* [[w:Erik Frandsen|Erik Frandsen]] - The Numismatic

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|4425200}}
* {{amg movie|631535}}
* {{Official website|http://lionsgateathome.com/john-wick-2}}

[[Category:2017 films]] 
[[Category:Action thriller films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Neo-noir]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]</text>
      <sha1>jtjmzzz1fv6jpnec8lpr30hiwgme1xx</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149112</id>
      <parentid>3149108</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T21:03:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8008" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:John Wick: Chapter 2|John Wick: Chapter 2]]''''' is a [[w:2017 in film|2017 film]] in which, after returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life.
:''Directed by [[w:Chad Stahelski|Chad Stahelski]]. Written by [[w:Derek Kolstad|Derek Kolstad]].'' 
&lt;center&gt;'''The only way out is back in.'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/center&gt;

== John Wick ==
* You wanted me back... I'm back!

* The knife is in your aorta. You pull it out, you will bleed and you will die. Consider this a professional courtesy. ''[John walks away]''

== Winston ==
* ''[to Santino, about John Wick]'' You stabbed the devil in the back and forced him back into the life that he had just left. You incinerated the priest's temple. Burned it to the ground. Now he's free of the marker, what do you think he'll do? He had a glimpse of the other side and he embraced it. But you, Signor D'Antonio... took it away from him.

== Other ==
* '''Abram Tarasov''': I can assure you that the stories you hear about John Wick, if nothing else, have been watered down.

* '''Santino D'Antonio''': No wife, no dog, no home. You have nothing, John. Vengeance is all you have left.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Listen to me. What is this? Hmm? Do you remember? This is your blood. You came to me. I helped you. If you don't do this, you know the consequences.
:'''John Wick''': I'm not that guy anymore.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': You are always that guy, John.
:'''John Wick''': I can't help you. I'm sorry.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': You're right. You can't. But he can. I'll see you soon, John.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Good evening, John.
:'''John Wick''': Hey, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[points at burning house in the background]'' Gas leak?
:'''John Wick''': Yeah. Gas leak.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[beat]'' You workin' again?
:'''John Wick''': I'll see you, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': Have a nice night, John. ''[pause]'' Shit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Julius''': I fail to recall the last time you were in Rome. And here I'd heard... you had retired.
:'''John Wick''': I had.
:'''Julius''': Then humor me with, uh... but one question. ''Sei qui per il Santo Padre''? ''[translation: Are you here for the Pope?]''
:'''John Wick''': No.
:'''Julius''': All right then. ''[Pulls out a key]'' One of our finest rooms.
:'''John Wick''': Grazie.
:'''Julius''': Enjoy your stay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sommelier''': Good afternoon, Mr. Wick. It's been a long time.
:'''John Wick''': I'd like a tasting.
:'''Sommelier''': I know of your past fondness for the German varietals, but I can wholeheartedly endorse the new breed of Austrians. Glock .34 and .26. Recontoured grips. Flared magwell for easier reloads. And I know you'll appreciate the custom porting. What's next?
:'''John Wick''': I need something robust. Precise.
:'''Sommelier''': &quot;Robust. Precise.&quot; AR-15, 11.5-inch. Compensated with an ion-bonded bolt carrier. Trijicon accupoint with 1-6 magnification.
:'''John Wick''': Could you recommend anything for the end of the night? Something big, bold.
:'''Sommelier''': May I suggest the Benelli M4? Custom bolt carrier release and charging handle. Textured grips, should your hands get... wet. An Italian classic.
:'''John Wick''': Dessert?
:'''Sommelier''': Dessert. The finest cutlery. All freshly stoned. Shall I have everything sent to your room?
:'''John Wick''': Yes. Thank you.
:'''Sommelier''': Excellent. Mr. Wick? Do enjoy your party.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Italian Tailor''': Buongiorno, signor Wick.
:'''John Wick''': Ciao, Angelo.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Welcome back to Rome.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Tell me, Mr. Wick, is this a formal event or a social affair?
:'''John Wick''': Social.
:'''Italian Tailor''': And is this for day or evening?
:'''John Wick''': I need one for day and one for night.
:'''Italian Tailor''': And what style?
:'''John Wick''': Italian.
:'''Italian Tailor''': How many buttons?
:'''John Wick''': Two.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Trousers?
:'''John Wick''': Tapered.
:'''Italian Tailor''': How about the lining?
:'''John Wick''': Tactical.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Silicon carbide discs. Ceramic matrices. Accompanying laminates. Cutting-edge body armor. We just sew it between the fabric and the lining. Zero penetration. However... Quite painful, I'm afraid.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassian''': You working?
:'''John Wick''': Yeah... You?
:'''Cassian''': Yeah... Good night?
:'''John Wick''': Afraid so.
:'''Cassian''': Sorry to hear that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': As I live and ''breathe''! John Wick. The man. The myth. The legend. You're not very good at retiring.
:'''John Wick''': I'm workin' on it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': He's offered seven million dollars for your life. Seven million dollars is a lot of money, Mr. Wick.
:'''John Wick''': So I guess you have a choice. You want a war? Or do you wanna just give me a gun?
:'''Bowery King''': Somebody, please! Get this man a gun!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': Oh, and remember... you owe me.
:'''John Wick''': You don't want me owing you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassian''': So, you're free?
:'''John Wick''': Am I?
:'''Cassian''': No. Not at all. You killed my ward. Someone I was close to. An eye for an eye, John. You know how it goes.
:'''John Wick''': Yeah.
:''[They both drink]''
:'''Cassian''': I'll make it quick. I promise.
:'''John Wick''': I appreciate that. I'll try and do the same.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Winston!
:'''Winston''': Mr. D'Antonio, your evening has been colorful I see. Seeking safe harbor, I presume.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': I want his membership revoked now.
:'''Winston''': In the eyes of this institution Mr. Wick has breached no legality.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Then you know that I have the right to demand...
:'''Winston''': Nothing, you demand nothing of me, Mr. D'Antonio. This kingdom is mine and mine alone.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Alright. Then enjoy your kingdom, Winston, while you still can.
:'''Winston''': And you, its privileges, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Winston''': ''[at he Continental]'' Jonathan, listen to me.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': A man can stay here a long time and never eat the same meal twice.
:'''Winston''': Jonathan, just walk away.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Yeah Jonathan. Walk aw...
:''[John kills Santino with a bullet in the forehead]''
:'''Winston''': What have you done?
:'''John Wick''': Finished it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''John Wick''': Winston... tell them... Tell them all... Whoever comes, whoever it is... I'll kill them. I'll kill them all.
:'''Winston''': 'Course you will.

== Taglines ==
* The only way out is back in.

* Never stab the devil in the back.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - [[w:John Wick (character)|John Wick]]
* [[Common (rapper)|Common]] - Cassian
* [[w:Laurence Fishburne|Laurence Fishburne]] - &quot;The Bowery King&quot;
* [[w:Riccardo Scamarcio|Riccardo Scamarcio]] - Santino D'Antonio
* [[w:Ruby Rose|Ruby Rose]] - Ares
* [[w:Lance Reddick|Lance Reddick]] - Charon
* [[w:Peter Stormare|Peter Stormare]] - Abram Tarasov
* [[w:Bridget Moynahan|Bridget Moynahan]] - Helen Wick
* [[w:Franco Nero|Franco Nero]] - Julius
* [[John Leguizamo]] - Aurelio
* [[Ian McShane]] - Winston
* [[w:Claudia Gerini|Claudia Gerini]] - Gianna D'Antonio
* Wass Stevens - Consiglieri
* [[w:Peter Serafinowicz|Peter Serafinowicz]] - The Sommelier
* [[w:Tobias Segal|Tobias Segal]] - Earl
* [[w:Thomas Sadoski|Thomas Sadoski]] - Jimmy
* [[w:Chuk Iwuji|Chuk Iwuji]] - Mr. Akoni
* [[w:Yamamotoyama Ryūta|Yamamotoyama Ryūta]] - Rajah
* [[w:Erik Frandsen|Erik Frandsen]] - The Numismatic

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|4425200}}
* {{amg movie|631535}}
* {{Official website|http://lionsgateathome.com/john-wick-2}}

[[Category:2017 films]] 
[[Category:Action thriller films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Crime thriller films]]
[[Category:Neo-noir]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]</text>
      <sha1>9vfscg0k7pys375ftblzg7561j7ty3y</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149113</id>
      <parentid>3149112</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T21:13:25Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8375" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:John Wick: Chapter 2|John Wick: Chapter 2]]''''' is a [[w:2017 in film|2017 film]] in which, after returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life.
:''Directed by [[w:Chad Stahelski|Chad Stahelski]]. Written by [[w:Derek Kolstad|Derek Kolstad]].'' 
&lt;center&gt;'''The only way out is back in.'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/center&gt;

== John Wick ==
* You wanted me back... I'm back!

* The knife is in your aorta. You pull it out, you will bleed and you will die. Consider this a professional courtesy. ''[John walks away]''

== Winston ==
* ''[to Santino, about John Wick]'' You stabbed the devil in the back and forced him back into the life that he had just left. You incinerated the priest's temple. Burned it to the ground. Now he's free of the marker, what do you think he'll do? He had a glimpse of the other side and he embraced it. But you, Signor D'Antonio... took it away from him.

== Other ==
* '''Abram Tarasov''': I can assure you that the stories you hear about John Wick, if nothing else, have been watered down.

* '''Santino D'Antonio''': No wife, no dog, no home. You have nothing, John. Vengeance is all you have left.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Listen to me. What is this? Hmm? Do you remember? This is your blood. You came to me. I helped you. If you don't do this, you know the consequences.
:'''John Wick''': I'm not that guy anymore.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': You are always that guy, John.
:'''John Wick''': I can't help you. I'm sorry.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': You're right. You can't. But he can. I'll see you soon, John.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Good evening, John.
:'''John Wick''': Hey, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[points at burning house in the background]'' Gas leak?
:'''John Wick''': Yeah. Gas leak.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[beat]'' You workin' again?
:'''John Wick''': I'll see you, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': Have a nice night, John. ''[pause]'' Shit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Julius''': I fail to recall the last time you were in Rome. And here I'd heard... you had retired.
:'''John Wick''': I had.
:'''Julius''': Then humor me with, uh... but one question. ''Sei qui per il Santo Padre''? ''[translation: Are you here for the Pope?]''
:'''John Wick''': No.
:'''Julius''': All right then. ''[Pulls out a key]'' One of our finest rooms.
:'''John Wick''': Grazie.
:'''Julius''': Enjoy your stay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sommelier''': Good afternoon, Mr. Wick. It's been a long time.
:'''John Wick''': I'd like a tasting.
:'''Sommelier''': I know of your past fondness for the German varietals, but I can wholeheartedly endorse the new breed of Austrians. Glock .34 and .26. Recontoured grips. Flared magwell for easier reloads. And I know you'll appreciate the custom porting. What's next?
:'''John Wick''': I need something robust. Precise.
:'''Sommelier''': &quot;Robust. Precise.&quot; AR-15, 11.5-inch. Compensated with an ion-bonded bolt carrier. Trijicon accupoint with 1-6 magnification.
:'''John Wick''': Could you recommend anything for the end of the night? Something big, bold.
:'''Sommelier''': May I suggest the Benelli M4? Custom bolt carrier release and charging handle. Textured grips, should your hands get... wet. An Italian classic.
:'''John Wick''': Dessert?
:'''Sommelier''': Dessert. The finest cutlery. All freshly stoned. Shall I have everything sent to your room?
:'''John Wick''': Yes. Thank you.
:'''Sommelier''': Excellent. Mr. Wick? Do enjoy your party.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Italian Tailor''': Buongiorno, signor Wick.
:'''John Wick''': Ciao, Angelo.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Welcome back to Rome.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Tell me, Mr. Wick, is this a formal event or a social affair?
:'''John Wick''': Social.
:'''Italian Tailor''': And is this for day or evening?
:'''John Wick''': I need one for day and one for night.
:'''Italian Tailor''': And what style?
:'''John Wick''': Italian.
:'''Italian Tailor''': How many buttons?
:'''John Wick''': Two.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Trousers?
:'''John Wick''': Tapered.
:'''Italian Tailor''': How about the lining?
:'''John Wick''': Tactical.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Silicon carbide discs. Ceramic matrices. Accompanying laminates. Cutting-edge body armor. We just sew it between the fabric and the lining. Zero penetration. However... Quite painful, I'm afraid.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassian''': You working?
:'''John Wick''': Yeah... You?
:'''Cassian''': Yeah... Good night?
:'''John Wick''': Afraid so.
:'''Cassian''': Sorry to hear that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''John Wick''': I had a marker.
:'''Cassian''': Whose?
:'''John Wick''': Her brother.
:'''Cassian''': I see. So you had no choice.
:'''John Wick''': He wants her seat at the table.
:'''Cassian''': He'll get it now.
:'''John Wick''': Yeah...yeah.
:'''Cassian''': So, you're free?
:'''John Wick''': Am I?
:'''Cassian''': No. Not at all. ''[John nods]'' You killed my ward. Someone I was close to. An eye for an eye, John. You know how it goes.
:'''John Wick''': Yeah.
:''[They both drink]''
:'''Cassian''': I'll make it quick. I promise.
:'''John Wick''': I appreciate that. I'll try and do the same.
:''[They finish their drinks]''
:'''Cassian''': This round's on me. Consider it professional courtesy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': As I live and ''breathe''! John Wick. The man. The myth. The legend. You're not very good at retiring.
:'''John Wick''': I'm workin' on it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': He's offered seven million dollars for your life. Seven million dollars is a lot of money, Mr. Wick.
:'''John Wick''': So I guess you have a choice. You want a war? Or do you wanna just give me a gun?
:'''Bowery King''': Somebody, please! Get this man a gun!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': Oh, and remember... you owe me.
:'''John Wick''': You don't want me owing you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Winston!
:'''Winston''': Mr. D'Antonio, your evening has been colorful I see. Seeking safe harbor, I presume.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': I want his membership revoked now.
:'''Winston''': In the eyes of this institution Mr. Wick has breached no legality.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Then you know that I have the right to demand...
:'''Winston''': Nothing, you demand nothing of me, Mr. D'Antonio. This kingdom is mine and mine alone.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Alright. Then enjoy your kingdom, Winston, while you still can.
:'''Winston''': And you, its privileges, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Winston''': ''[at he Continental]'' Jonathan, listen to me.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': A man can stay here a long time and never eat the same meal twice.
:'''Winston''': Jonathan, just walk away.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Yeah Jonathan. Walk aw...
:''[John kills Santino with a bullet in the forehead]''
:'''Winston''': What have you done?
:'''John Wick''': Finished it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''John Wick''': Winston... tell them... Tell them all... Whoever comes, whoever it is... I'll kill them. I'll kill them all.
:'''Winston''': 'Course you will.

== Taglines ==
* The only way out is back in.

* Never stab the devil in the back.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - [[w:John Wick (character)|John Wick]]
* [[Common (rapper)|Common]] - Cassian
* [[w:Laurence Fishburne|Laurence Fishburne]] - &quot;The Bowery King&quot;
* [[w:Riccardo Scamarcio|Riccardo Scamarcio]] - Santino D'Antonio
* [[w:Ruby Rose|Ruby Rose]] - Ares
* [[w:Lance Reddick|Lance Reddick]] - Charon
* [[w:Peter Stormare|Peter Stormare]] - Abram Tarasov
* [[w:Bridget Moynahan|Bridget Moynahan]] - Helen Wick
* [[w:Franco Nero|Franco Nero]] - Julius
* [[John Leguizamo]] - Aurelio
* [[Ian McShane]] - Winston
* [[w:Claudia Gerini|Claudia Gerini]] - Gianna D'Antonio
* Wass Stevens - Consiglieri
* [[w:Peter Serafinowicz|Peter Serafinowicz]] - The Sommelier
* [[w:Tobias Segal|Tobias Segal]] - Earl
* [[w:Thomas Sadoski|Thomas Sadoski]] - Jimmy
* [[w:Chuk Iwuji|Chuk Iwuji]] - Mr. Akoni
* [[w:Yamamotoyama Ryūta|Yamamotoyama Ryūta]] - Rajah
* [[w:Erik Frandsen|Erik Frandsen]] - The Numismatic

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|4425200}}
* {{amg movie|631535}}
* {{Official website|http://lionsgateathome.com/john-wick-2}}

[[Category:2017 films]] 
[[Category:Action thriller films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Crime thriller films]]
[[Category:Neo-noir]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]</text>
      <sha1>o7ncnlwuh6fxj9oyb8iurama15d87pc</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3149114</id>
      <parentid>3149113</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-29T21:16:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8485" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:John Wick: Chapter 2|John Wick: Chapter 2]]''''' is a [[w:2017 in film|2017 film]] in which, after returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life.
:''Directed by [[w:Chad Stahelski|Chad Stahelski]]. Written by [[w:Derek Kolstad|Derek Kolstad]].'' 
&lt;center&gt;'''The only way out is back in.'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/center&gt;

== John Wick ==
* You wanted me back... I'm back!

* The knife is in your aorta. You pull it out, you will bleed and you will die. Consider this a professional courtesy. ''[John walks away]''

== Santino D'Antonio ==
* ''[calls John]'' I know you're mad...but what kind of man would I be if I did not avenge my sister's death?

* No wife, no dog, no home. You have nothing, John. Vengeance is all you have left.

== Winston ==
* ''[to Santino, about John Wick]'' You stabbed the devil in the back and forced him back into the life that he had just left. You incinerated the priest's temple. Burned it to the ground. Now he's free of the marker, what do you think he'll do? He had a glimpse of the other side and he embraced it. But you, Signor D'Antonio... took it away from him.

== Other ==
* '''Abram Tarasov''': I can assure you that the stories you hear about John Wick, if nothing else, have been watered down.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Listen to me. What is this? Hmm? Do you remember? This is your blood. You came to me. I helped you. If you don't do this, you know the consequences.
:'''John Wick''': I'm not that guy anymore.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': You are always that guy, John.
:'''John Wick''': I can't help you. I'm sorry.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': You're right. You can't. But he can. I'll see you soon, John.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Good evening, John.
:'''John Wick''': Hey, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[points at burning house in the background]'' Gas leak?
:'''John Wick''': Yeah. Gas leak.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[beat]'' You workin' again?
:'''John Wick''': I'll see you, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': Have a nice night, John. ''[pause]'' Shit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Julius''': I fail to recall the last time you were in Rome. And here I'd heard... you had retired.
:'''John Wick''': I had.
:'''Julius''': Then humor me with, uh... but one question. ''Sei qui per il Santo Padre''? ''[translation: Are you here for the Pope?]''
:'''John Wick''': No.
:'''Julius''': All right then. ''[Pulls out a key]'' One of our finest rooms.
:'''John Wick''': Grazie.
:'''Julius''': Enjoy your stay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sommelier''': Good afternoon, Mr. Wick. It's been a long time.
:'''John Wick''': I'd like a tasting.
:'''Sommelier''': I know of your past fondness for the German varietals, but I can wholeheartedly endorse the new breed of Austrians. Glock .34 and .26. Recontoured grips. Flared magwell for easier reloads. And I know you'll appreciate the custom porting. What's next?
:'''John Wick''': I need something robust. Precise.
:'''Sommelier''': &quot;Robust. Precise.&quot; AR-15, 11.5-inch. Compensated with an ion-bonded bolt carrier. Trijicon accupoint with 1-6 magnification.
:'''John Wick''': Could you recommend anything for the end of the night? Something big, bold.
:'''Sommelier''': May I suggest the Benelli M4? Custom bolt carrier release and charging handle. Textured grips, should your hands get... wet. An Italian classic.
:'''John Wick''': Dessert?
:'''Sommelier''': Dessert. The finest cutlery. All freshly stoned. Shall I have everything sent to your room?
:'''John Wick''': Yes. Thank you.
:'''Sommelier''': Excellent. Mr. Wick? Do enjoy your party.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Italian Tailor''': Buongiorno, signor Wick.
:'''John Wick''': Ciao, Angelo.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Welcome back to Rome.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Tell me, Mr. Wick, is this a formal event or a social affair?
:'''John Wick''': Social.
:'''Italian Tailor''': And is this for day or evening?
:'''John Wick''': I need one for day and one for night.
:'''Italian Tailor''': And what style?
:'''John Wick''': Italian.
:'''Italian Tailor''': How many buttons?
:'''John Wick''': Two.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Trousers?
:'''John Wick''': Tapered.
:'''Italian Tailor''': How about the lining?
:'''John Wick''': Tactical.
:'''Italian Tailor''': Silicon carbide discs. Ceramic matrices. Accompanying laminates. Cutting-edge body armor. We just sew it between the fabric and the lining. Zero penetration. However... Quite painful, I'm afraid.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassian''': You working?
:'''John Wick''': Yeah... You?
:'''Cassian''': Yeah... Good night?
:'''John Wick''': Afraid so.
:'''Cassian''': Sorry to hear that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''John Wick''': I had a marker.
:'''Cassian''': Whose?
:'''John Wick''': Her brother.
:'''Cassian''': I see. So you had no choice.
:'''John Wick''': He wants her seat at the table.
:'''Cassian''': He'll get it now.
:'''John Wick''': Yeah...yeah.
:'''Cassian''': So, you're free?
:'''John Wick''': Am I?
:'''Cassian''': No. Not at all. ''[John nods]'' You killed my ward. Someone I was close to. An eye for an eye, John. You know how it goes.
:'''John Wick''': Yeah.
:''[They both drink]''
:'''Cassian''': I'll make it quick. I promise.
:'''John Wick''': I appreciate that. I'll try and do the same.
:''[They finish their drinks]''
:'''Cassian''': This round's on me. Consider it professional courtesy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': As I live and ''breathe''! John Wick. The man. The myth. The legend. You're not very good at retiring.
:'''John Wick''': I'm workin' on it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': He's offered seven million dollars for your life. Seven million dollars is a lot of money, Mr. Wick.
:'''John Wick''': So I guess you have a choice. You want a war? Or do you wanna just give me a gun?
:'''Bowery King''': Somebody, please! Get this man a gun!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bowery King''': Oh, and remember... you owe me.
:'''John Wick''': You don't want me owing you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Winston!
:'''Winston''': Mr. D'Antonio, your evening has been colorful I see. Seeking safe harbor, I presume.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': I want his membership revoked now.
:'''Winston''': In the eyes of this institution Mr. Wick has breached no legality.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Then you know that I have the right to demand...
:'''Winston''': Nothing, you demand nothing of me, Mr. D'Antonio. This kingdom is mine and mine alone.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Alright. Then enjoy your kingdom, Winston, while you still can.
:'''Winston''': And you, its privileges, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Winston''': ''[at he Continental]'' Jonathan, listen to me.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': A man can stay here a long time and never eat the same meal twice.
:'''Winston''': Jonathan, just walk away.
:'''Santino D'Antonio''': Yeah Jonathan. Walk aw...
:''[John kills Santino with a bullet in the forehead]''
:'''Winston''': What have you done?
:'''John Wick''': Finished it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''John Wick''': Winston... tell them... Tell them all... Whoever comes, whoever it is... I'll kill them. I'll kill them all.
:'''Winston''': 'Course you will.

== Taglines ==
* The only way out is back in.

* Never stab the devil in the back.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - [[w:John Wick (character)|John Wick]]
* [[Common (rapper)|Common]] - Cassian
* [[w:Laurence Fishburne|Laurence Fishburne]] - &quot;The Bowery King&quot;
* [[w:Riccardo Scamarcio|Riccardo Scamarcio]] - Santino D'Antonio
* [[w:Ruby Rose|Ruby Rose]] - Ares
* [[w:Lance Reddick|Lance Reddick]] - Charon
* [[w:Peter Stormare|Peter Stormare]] - Abram Tarasov
* [[w:Bridget Moynahan|Bridget Moynahan]] - Helen Wick
* [[w:Franco Nero|Franco Nero]] - Julius
* [[John Leguizamo]] - Aurelio
* [[Ian McShane]] - Winston
* [[w:Claudia Gerini|Claudia Gerini]] - Gianna D'Antonio
* Wass Stevens - Consiglieri
* [[w:Peter Serafinowicz|Peter Serafinowicz]] - The Sommelier
* [[w:Tobias Segal|Tobias Segal]] - Earl
* [[w:Thomas Sadoski|Thomas Sadoski]] - Jimmy
* [[w:Chuk Iwuji|Chuk Iwuji]] - Mr. Akoni
* [[w:Yamamotoyama Ryūta|Yamamotoyama Ryūta]] - Rajah
* [[w:Erik Frandsen|Erik Frandsen]] - The Numismatic

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|4425200}}
* {{amg movie|631535}}
* {{Official website|http://lionsgateathome.com/john-wick-2}}

[[Category:2017 films]] 
[[Category:Action thriller films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Crime thriller films]]
[[Category:Neo-noir]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]</text>
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    <title>Talk:Sluggy Freelance</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-29T22:51:00Z</timestamp>
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      <comment>/* todo */ new section</comment>
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convert URLs to the new archive style [[User:Arlo Barnes|Arlo Barnes]] ([[User talk:Arlo Barnes|talk]]) 22:51, 29 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot; | align=center | [[File:Kate Bush at 1986 Comic Relief (cropped).png|292px]] | align=center | &amp;nbsp; | align=center | {{quote of the day | quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''It doesn't [[hurt]] me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to [[feel]] how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to [[know]] that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with [...&quot;</comment>
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| align=center | [[File:Kate Bush at 1986 Comic Relief (cropped).png|292px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; ''It doesn't [[hurt]] me. &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to [[feel]] how it feels? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to [[know]] that it doesn't hurt me? &lt;br /&gt; Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? &lt;br /&gt; You, it's you and me. &lt;br /&gt; And if I only could, &lt;br /&gt; I'd make a deal with [[God]], &lt;br /&gt; And I'd get him to swap our [[places]], &lt;br /&gt; Be [[running]] up that [[road]], &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that [[hill]], &lt;br /&gt; Be running up that [[building]].''
| author = Kate Bush
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Empyrean Light and Shadows of Salvation.jpg|292px]]
|}</text>
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    <title>Etienne Courtneymfhf</title>
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        <ip>2C0F:FC89:F9:29A:4754:937E:7C39:9810</ip>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;Ě&quot;</comment>
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  <page>
    <title>Juan Francisco Sarasti Jaramillo</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-30T01:10:38Z</timestamp>
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        <username>Gilldragon</username>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''[[w:Juan Francisco Sarasti Jaramillo|]]''' (30 July 1938 – 25 February 2021) was a Colombian prelate of the Catholic Church who served as the archbishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Cali|Archdiocese of Cali]].  == Quotes ==    * With Eucharistic faith, upheld by ecclesial tradition and based on the words of the Lord, we have access to real, though imperfect, certainties. Finally, in the face of the solitude and desperation that undermine mankind today, t...&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="1011" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Juan Francisco Sarasti Jaramillo|Juan Francisco Sarasti Jaramillo]]''' (30 July 1938 – 25 February 2021) was a Colombian prelate of the Catholic Church who served as the archbishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Cali|Archdiocese of Cali]].

== Quotes ==  

* With Eucharistic faith, upheld by ecclesial tradition and based on the words of the Lord, we have access to real, though imperfect, certainties. Finally, in the face of the solitude and desperation that undermine mankind today, the Eucharist offers us... profound companionship and a promise of eternal life that fills us with definitive hope.
** [https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/5069/eucharist-is-antidote-for-culture-of-death-say-bishops Eucharist is antidote for culture of death, say bishops (5 Octobrt 2005) ''Catholic News Agecny'']

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sarasti Jaramillo, Juan Francisco}}
[[Category:1938 births]]
[[Category:Roman Catholics]]
[[Category:Bishops]]
[[Category:2021 deaths]]</text>
      <sha1>2xref4h6nqfifxv7xnkv87eg7re5kfp</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149243</id>
      <parentid>3149241</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T01:12:57Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="1039" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Juan Francisco Sarasti Jaramillo|Juan Francisco Sarasti Jaramillo]]''' (30 July 1938 – 25 February 2021) was a Colombian prelate of the Catholic Church who served as the archbishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Cali|Archdiocese of Cali]].

== Quotes ==  

* With Eucharistic faith, upheld by ecclesial tradition and based on the words of the Lord, we have access to real, though imperfect, certainties. Finally, in the face of the solitude and desperation that undermine mankind today, the Eucharist offers us... profound companionship and a promise of eternal life that fills us with definitive hope.
** [https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/5069/eucharist-is-antidote-for-culture-of-death-say-bishops Eucharist is antidote for culture of death, say bishops (5 Octobrt 2005) ''Catholic News Agecny'']

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sarasti Jaramillo, Juan Francisco}}
[[Category:1938 births]]
[[Category:2021 deaths]]
[[Category:Roman Catholics]]
[[Category:2021 deaths]]
[[Category:Colombians]]</text>
      <sha1>o2s1i2g6zcphoeee31xaykqij0oqclk</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3149245</id>
      <parentid>3149243</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-07-30T01:13:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Servon Petteri</username>
        <id>3128274</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="1049" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Juan Francisco Sarasti Jaramillo|Juan Francisco Sarasti Jaramillo]]''' (30 July 1938 – 25 February 2021) was a Colombian prelate of the Catholic Church who served as the archbishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Cali|Archdiocese of Cali]].

== Quotes ==  

* With Eucharistic faith, upheld by ecclesial tradition and based on the words of the Lord, we have access to real, though imperfect, certainties. Finally, in the face of the solitude and desperation that undermine mankind today, the Eucharist offers us... profound companionship and a promise of eternal life that fills us with definitive hope.
** [https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/5069/eucharist-is-antidote-for-culture-of-death-say-bishops Eucharist is antidote for culture of death, say bishops (5 Octobrt 2005) ''Catholic News Agecny'']

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sarasti Jaramillo, Juan Francisco}}
[[Category:1938 births]]
[[Category:2021 deaths]]
[[Category:Roman Catholics]]
[[Category:2021 deaths]]
[[Category:People from Colombia]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Giuseppe Versaldi</title>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''[[w:Giuseppe Versaldi|]]''' (30 July 1943 –) is an Italian prelate of the Catholic Church who serves as the Cardinal Prefect of the [[w:Congregation for Catholic Education|]].  == Quotes ==  * The Congregation has the task of deepening, developing and promoting the fundamental principles of Catholic education, as proposed by the Magisterium of the Church, both regarding the People of God, as well as society at large. In this sense, it is committed to ensuring that t...&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="1060" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Giuseppe Versaldi|Giuseppe Versaldi]]''' (30 July 1943 –) is an Italian prelate of the Catholic Church who serves as the Cardinal Prefect of the [[w:Congregation for Catholic Education|Congregation for Catholic Education]].

== Quotes ==

* The Congregation has the task of deepening, developing and promoting the fundamental principles of Catholic education, as proposed by the Magisterium of the Church, both regarding the People of God, as well as society at large. In this sense, it is committed to ensuring that the faithful can fulfill their obligations in this area, and that society at large might also recognize and protect their rights.
** [https://www.vaticannews.va/en/vatican-city/news/2021-11/congregation-for-catholic-education.html The Congregation for Catholic Education (22 November 2021) ''Vatican News'']

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Versaldi, Giuseppe}}
[[Category:1943 births]]
[[Category:People from Piedmont]]
[[Category:Italian Catholics]]
[[Category:Cardinals]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Avandrio</title>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''Avery Alexander Jones''' (born July 16, 2004), known professionally as '''Avandrio''', is an American singer, songwriter, dancer, and model. Born and raised in Buffalo, New York, Avandrio would begin performing professionally at the age of nine in a plethora of local talent shows, and starring in benefit concerts around his hometown.  == Early life == Avery Alexander Jones was born on July 16, 2004 in Buffalo, New York, and is the only child to Michelle Jones. Avandri...&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="4330" xml:space="preserve">'''Avery Alexander Jones''' (born July 16, 2004), known professionally as '''Avandrio''', is an American singer, songwriter, dancer, and model. Born and raised in Buffalo, New York, Avandrio would begin performing professionally at the age of nine in a plethora of local talent shows, and starring in benefit concerts around his hometown.

== Early life ==
Avery Alexander Jones was born on July 16, 2004 in Buffalo, New York, and is the only child to Michelle Jones. Avandrio is of [[African Americans|African-American]] and Native American descent.

Avandrio was introduced to popular artists including [[Michael Jackson]], [[Prince (musician)|Prince,]] and [[Aaliyah]] at a young age, which he stated in a 2021 interview &quot;had a major influence on my desire to sing and perform&quot;. He would perform in various local talent shows, weddings, school performances, auditioned for television singing competitions, Broadway Musicals and had his first concert at the age of nine at the [https://www.ujimacoinc.org/ Ujima Theater] in Buffalo, New York where he performed a variety of songs and acting monologues. Avandrio felt these experiences allowed him to have mastery over his performance on the stage, allowing him to be &quot;comfortable&quot; when performing in front of crowds.

== Education ==
Avandrio was first enrolled in a private school located in Lancaster, New York where he would focus on his religious beliefs. He later voiced to his mother the desire of him becoming an entertainer, which his mother would then arrange an audition at Buffalo Academy for Visual and Performing Arts. For the audition Avandrio sang the song &quot;All of Me&quot; by John Legend, which would get him into the performing arts high-school. He described himself as a singer of &quot;perfectionism&quot; and strived to be the best in anything he did. He stated in a 2021 interview with WDAP Radio&quot;growing up I listened to great artists, and artists who took their work with great earnest so thats what I strive to do as well&quot;. Avandrio would get the starring role as Shrek, in Shrek The Musical, a musical his school held and Walter in Elf Jr. The Musical both musicals his school Buffalo Academy for Visual and Performing Arts held. He reflected on his time in these musicals: &quot;They both were an amazing experience, me playing both roles increased my desire to be an all around entertainer not just music&quot;.

Avandrio graduated from Buffalo Academy for Visual and Performing Arts, in June of 2022.

== Artistry ==

=== Musical style and songwriting ===

Avandrio possesses the vocal range of a tenor. Avandriocharacterizes his vocals as &quot;light&quot; and &quot;alluring&quot;,&lt;ref name=&quot;:2&quot; /&gt; and describes his sound as &quot;neoteric&quot;&lt;ref name=&quot;:0&quot; /&gt; and &quot;cutting edge&quot;&lt;ref name=&quot;:0&quot; /&gt;. His music embodies elements of [[Pop music|pop]], [[Rock music|rock]], [[Electronic music|electro]]. 

Alexander stated that there were over 70 different layers of his own vocals within his song &quot;The Perfect Crime&quot;.&lt;ref name=&quot;:2&quot; /&gt;

=== Influences ===
Avandrio grew up listening to musical artists [[Michael Jackson]], [[Prince (musician)|Prince]] and [[Aaliyah|Aaliyah.]]&lt;ref name=&quot;:0&quot; /&gt; Avandrio has voiced that Michael Jackson had a major role in his continued desire in becoming a &quot;Multi-Grammy Award Winning Recording Artist and full Throttle Entertainer&quot;. He stated that he admired Michael Jackson because &quot;he was all about the magic, and never settled for anything&quot;.&lt;ref name=&quot;:2&quot; /&gt; When asked about Prince's influence on him he expressed &quot;he didn't conform to any norms which made him unique&quot;.&lt;ref name=&quot;:2&quot; /&gt; Avandrio stated that Aaliyah was &quot;very ahead of her time, and that's something a lot of artists can't achieve, and her influence still is prominent today.&quot; In an interview from Avandrio's segment for his fans &quot;Avandrio (Exclusive Access)&quot; Photographic Assistant Brandon Watson described Avandrio's public image as &quot;eclectic, which Avandrio agreed to in a 2021 interview with WDAP Radio.

== Personal Life ==
Avandrio revealed in a 2021 interview with WDAP Radio that he has his close friends but he doesn't mind remaining in solitude.He told WDAP Radio that most of his life is centered around his music, and &quot;mastering his craft&quot; because he wants to people feel the quality and effort he puts into his craft.

== Discography ==

[[:Category:Avandrio| ]]
[[:Category:2004 births]]</text>
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      <comment>/* Discography */</comment>
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      <text bytes="4259" xml:space="preserve">'''Avery Alexander Jones''' (born July 16, 2004), known professionally as '''Avandrio''', is an American singer, songwriter, dancer, and model. Born and raised in Buffalo, New York, Avandrio would begin performing professionally at the age of nine in a plethora of local talent shows, and starring in benefit concerts around his hometown.

== Early life ==
Avery Alexander Jones was born on July 16, 2004 in Buffalo, New York, and is the only child to Michelle Jones. Avandrio is of [[African Americans|African-American]] and Native American descent.

Avandrio was introduced to popular artists including [[Michael Jackson]], [[Prince (musician)|Prince,]] and [[Aaliyah]] at a young age, which he stated in a 2021 interview &quot;had a major influence on my desire to sing and perform&quot;. He would perform in various local talent shows, weddings, school performances, auditioned for television singing competitions, Broadway Musicals and had his first concert at the age of nine at the [https://www.ujimacoinc.org/ Ujima Theater] in Buffalo, New York where he performed a variety of songs and acting monologues. Avandrio felt these experiences allowed him to have mastery over his performance on the stage, allowing him to be &quot;comfortable&quot; when performing in front of crowds.

== Education ==
Avandrio was first enrolled in a private school located in Lancaster, New York where he would focus on his religious beliefs. He later voiced to his mother the desire of him becoming an entertainer, which his mother would then arrange an audition at Buffalo Academy for Visual and Performing Arts. For the audition Avandrio sang the song &quot;All of Me&quot; by John Legend, which would get him into the performing arts high-school. He described himself as a singer of &quot;perfectionism&quot; and strived to be the best in anything he did. He stated in a 2021 interview with WDAP Radio&quot;growing up I listened to great artists, and artists who took their work with great earnest so thats what I strive to do as well&quot;. Avandrio would get the starring role as Shrek, in Shrek The Musical, a musical his school held and Walter in Elf Jr. The Musical both musicals his school Buffalo Academy for Visual and Performing Arts held. He reflected on his time in these musicals: &quot;They both were an amazing experience, me playing both roles increased my desire to be an all around entertainer not just music&quot;.

Avandrio graduated from Buffalo Academy for Visual and Performing Arts, in June of 2022.

== Artistry ==

=== Musical style and songwriting ===

Avandrio possesses the vocal range of a tenor. Avandriocharacterizes his vocals as &quot;light&quot; and &quot;alluring&quot;,&lt;ref name=&quot;:2&quot; /&gt; and describes his sound as &quot;neoteric&quot;&lt;ref name=&quot;:0&quot; /&gt; and &quot;cutting edge&quot;&lt;ref name=&quot;:0&quot; /&gt;. His music embodies elements of [[Pop music|pop]], [[Rock music|rock]], [[Electronic music|electro]]. 

Alexander stated that there were over 70 different layers of his own vocals within his song &quot;The Perfect Crime&quot;.&lt;ref name=&quot;:2&quot; /&gt;

=== Influences ===
Avandrio grew up listening to musical artists [[Michael Jackson]], [[Prince (musician)|Prince]] and [[Aaliyah|Aaliyah.]]&lt;ref name=&quot;:0&quot; /&gt; Avandrio has voiced that Michael Jackson had a major role in his continued desire in becoming a &quot;Multi-Grammy Award Winning Recording Artist and full Throttle Entertainer&quot;. He stated that he admired Michael Jackson because &quot;he was all about the magic, and never settled for anything&quot;.&lt;ref name=&quot;:2&quot; /&gt; When asked about Prince's influence on him he expressed &quot;he didn't conform to any norms which made him unique&quot;.&lt;ref name=&quot;:2&quot; /&gt; Avandrio stated that Aaliyah was &quot;very ahead of her time, and that's something a lot of artists can't achieve, and her influence still is prominent today.&quot; In an interview from Avandrio's segment for his fans &quot;Avandrio (Exclusive Access)&quot; Photographic Assistant Brandon Watson described Avandrio's public image as &quot;eclectic, which Avandrio agreed to in a 2021 interview with WDAP Radio.

== Personal Life ==
Avandrio revealed in a 2021 interview with WDAP Radio that he has his close friends but he doesn't mind remaining in solitude.He told WDAP Radio that most of his life is centered around his music, and &quot;mastering his craft&quot; because he wants to people feel the quality and effort he puts into his craft.</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Lebogang Maruapula</title>
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        <username>Sopranoh</username>
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      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;Lebogang Maruapula is a Mochudi born  and raised by a single mother which influenced her to advocate for women and the girl child. She is a communication and international development devotee who co-founded the  Goddess Foundation and Regional Ambassador of the Girl Rising, a movement which advocates for interests of the girl child. She also owns a digital and social media management business called EBAT.  == Quotes ==  * I am driven by the thought of seeing myself reach...&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="2701" xml:space="preserve">Lebogang Maruapula is a Mochudi born  and raised by a single mother which influenced her to advocate for women and the girl child. She is a communication and international development devotee who co-founded the  Goddess Foundation and Regional Ambassador of the Girl Rising, a movement which advocates for interests of the girl child. She also owns a digital and social media management business called EBAT.

== Quotes ==

* I am driven by the thought of seeing myself reach the pinnacle of success.
* I am also driven daily by the belief that I was made to be a positive influence in people’s lives and make a meaningful impact in my community and globally.
* I would like to be remembered as a woman who cared about youth development and women development and who went about doing that in innovative ways. 
* Go where you are needed, look for a gap that you can fill and go for it!
* I really believe the Internet is a well of wealth when it comes to opportunities- be it sponsorships, scholarships, jobs etc.
** [https://www.botswanayouth.com/lebogang-maruapula-interview/ Lebogang Maruapula] Interview with Botswana Youth (''October 8th, 2013'') Retrieved July 30th 2022.
* I have the audacity to dream, there is nothing that I believe is impossible for me to achieve with enough patience, time, hard work and determination.
* I have been down and out and have had circumstances on every front which could have potentially broken me and made me give up. But I have a tenacious fighting spirit and have learnt not to see rejection and failure as a reflection of my abilities or as a reflection of my journey but as necessary growing pains.
* It is always when I do the things that are purpose-driven that I am happiest, most fulfilled and go the furthest. I’ve learnt to listen out for the voice of God regarding my purpose and follow that.
* I am inspired by women who work hard to make ends meet. The woman who is a street vendor while carrying a child on her back in the heat and rain, the woman who walks Kilometers to go to the farm so that her children can eat.
* Never stop investing in yourself, take that short course, take a year off and go to school, do whatever you need to do to further your dreams.
* You are your own most prized commodity so you need to place yourself as your own highest priority
** [https://www.pawafrica.com/2016/02/keolebogile-lebogang-maruapula-is-2014/ Lebogang Maruapula]   Interview at Mandela Washington YALI (Young African Leaders Initiative) (''February 25th, 2016'') Retrieved July 30th. 

== External Links ==

* https://www.botswanayouth.com/lebogang-maruapula-interview/
* https://www.pawafrica.com/2016/02/keolebogile-lebogang-maruapula-is-2014/</text>
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      <id>3149280</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-30T09:54:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Sopranoh</username>
        <id>3107622</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="2799" xml:space="preserve">Lebogang Maruapula is a Mochudi born  and raised by a single mother which influenced her to advocate for women and the girl child. She is a communication and international development devotee who co-founded the  Goddess Foundation and Regional Ambassador of the Girl Rising, a movement which advocates for interests of the girl child. She also owns a digital and social media management business called EBAT.

== Quotes ==

* I am driven by the thought of seeing myself reach the pinnacle of success.
* I am also driven daily by the belief that I was made to be a positive influence in people’s lives and make a meaningful impact in my community and globally.
* I would like to be remembered as a woman who cared about youth development and women development and who went about doing that in innovative ways. 
* Go where you are needed, look for a gap that you can fill and go for it!
* I really believe the Internet is a well of wealth when it comes to opportunities- be it sponsorships, scholarships, jobs etc.
** [https://www.botswanayouth.com/lebogang-maruapula-interview/ Lebogang Maruapula] Interview with Botswana Youth (''October 8th, 2013'') Retrieved July 30th 2022.
* I have the audacity to dream, there is nothing that I believe is impossible for me to achieve with enough patience, time, hard work and determination.
* I have been down and out and have had circumstances on every front which could have potentially broken me and made me give up. But I have a tenacious fighting spirit and have learnt not to see rejection and failure as a reflection of my abilities or as a reflection of my journey but as necessary growing pains.
* It is always when I do the things that are purpose-driven that I am happiest, most fulfilled and go the furthest. I’ve learnt to listen out for the voice of God regarding my purpose and follow that.
* I am inspired by women who work hard to make ends meet. The woman who is a street vendor while carrying a child on her back in the heat and rain, the woman who walks Kilometers to go to the farm so that her children can eat.
* Never stop investing in yourself, take that short course, take a year off and go to school, do whatever you need to do to further your dreams.
* You are your own most prized commodity so you need to place yourself as your own highest priority
** [https://www.pawafrica.com/2016/02/keolebogile-lebogang-maruapula-is-2014/ Lebogang Maruapula]   Interview at Mandela Washington YALI (Young African Leaders Initiative) (''February 25th, 2016'') Retrieved July 30th. 

== External Links ==

* https://www.botswanayouth.com/lebogang-maruapula-interview/
* https://www.pawafrica.com/2016/02/keolebogile-lebogang-maruapula-is-2014/
[[Category:Women's rights activists]]
[[Category:Women in technology]]
[[Category:African women]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Keabonye Ntsabane</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <id>3149281</id>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Leungo Mokgwathi</username>
        <id>3106495</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''[https://news.thevoicebw.com/woman-of-steel/ Keabonye Ntsabane]''' was born in 1955 in Ramotswa, Botswana. She is a renowned media and gender activist and politician. She is one of the founding members of  Kagisano Women’s Shelter, a center which houses Gender Based Violence survivors and also offers counselling.   == Quotes ==  * Just like male politicians women are capable. * Politics is about our country’s development so when the other gender is not actively in...&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="993" xml:space="preserve">'''[https://news.thevoicebw.com/woman-of-steel/ Keabonye Ntsabane]''' was born in 1955 in Ramotswa, Botswana. She is a renowned media and gender activist and politician. She is one of the founding members of  Kagisano Women’s Shelter, a center which houses Gender Based Violence survivors and also offers counselling. 

== Quotes ==

* Just like male politicians women are capable.
* Politics is about our country’s development so when the other gender is not actively involved, there will be no balance.
* You don’t have to insult your opponents, just sell your yourself and your party manifesto and explain thoroughly why you would be the right candidate for the job.
* [https://news.thevoicebw.com/woman-of-steel/ Woman of steel]  (27 July 2022) Retrieved (30 July 2022)

== External links ==
[https://news.thevoicebw.com/woman-of-steel/ Woman of steel] (27 July 2022) Retrieved (30 July 2022)
[[Category:1955 births]]
[[Category:Women's rights activists]]
[[Category:Botswana Women]]</text>
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    <title>Category:Articles needing external links cleanup</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>249792</id>
    <revision>
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      <timestamp>2022-07-30T11:55:44Z</timestamp>
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        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
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      <comment>Create clean-up category</comment>
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      <text bytes="267" xml:space="preserve">{{maintenance category}}

Articles which need external link cleanup. Articles in this category may contain irrelevant, inappropriate or excessive links to other sites.

Pages in this category have been tagged with {{tl|External links}}

[[Category:Wikiquote cleanup]]</text>
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        <ip>192.76.8.85</ip>
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      <comment>Create cleanup category</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="188" xml:space="preserve">{{maintenance category}}

Articles which have been tagged with multiple cleanup tags. Articles in this category have been tagged with {{tl|multiple issues}}

[[Category:Wikiquote cleanup]]</text>
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