SPACE QUEST II - Solution written by Shmegel Cohen (NOTE: In this walkthru, "east" refers to the right of the screen, "west" refers to the back of the screen, "north" refers to the top of the screen, and "south" refers to the bottom of the screen.) As our story opens, you, Roger Wilco, sanitary engineer extraordi- naire, are doing what you do best -- swabbing an outer deck of Xenon Orbital Station 4. A beep from your wrist watch interrupts your reve- rie and is probably a good tipoff that you should look at your watch. When you do, you'll see buttons labeled H, T, and C. Press them all in turn. When you press Press C, a message from your boss tells you to get back in the station on the double and clean up a pile of rancid space-vomit in the shuttle. (You get all the most desirable jobs!) Walk up the wall and across the ceiling (Isn't zero-gravity fun?) to the airlock entrance. Stand on the entrance, and in a few seconds you will be transported inside the station. Once inside the station, walk over to the spacesuits on the back wall and take a uniform. Take a moment to check your inventory. You have a filled-out order form for a Labion Terror Beast Mating Whistle, which is ready to be mailed, and a dialect translator. Now walk over to the lockers and open a locker. Take the jockstrap (lady gamesters are allowed to sniff, but no extra points are involved) and the Cubix Rube puzzle that you find inside. Exit the airlock through the door on the west side of the room. As you enter the control room, your boss tells you to get over to the shuttle on the double. The other crew persons in the control room aren't inclined to waste time with you either, perhaps they feel too exalted to socialize with an upchuck swabbie. So you have no choice but to go and stand on the transport lift on the west side of the room. Once you've been lifted to the transport level, walk over to the transport tube entrance and get in. In a few seconds you find yourself in the shuttle bay. Walk down the stairs and enter the shuttle from the rear. HEY! What's going on here?! Before you have time to play in the space-barf, one of the thugs turns out your lights. When you come to, you find yourself helplessly pinned down inside an asteroid fortress orbiting a forest planet. You are in the presence of a hideous alien who is obviously keeping himself alive by artificial means. The alien patiently explains to you that he is Sludge Vohaul, the evil intellect behind the plot to steal the star generator (which you foiled in SPACE QUEST I). Now Vohaul has decided to take his revenge on you and your home world of Xenon. He shows you his fiendish plot to loose thousands of genetically engineered insurance salesmen who won't take no for an answer on Xenon. (I myself would fear TV evangelists more, but then again, I'm Jewish). You quickly realize that humanity hasn't been in so much danger since Shere Hite's new book was published in 1987, but just right now there's nothing you can do about it. Vohaul's goons hustle you back aboard the shuttle and transport you down to the forest planet to begin serving a life sentence as a slave in Vohaul's mines. But before you reach the mines, the little hover- craft carrying you and two guards runs out of fuel and crashes to the forest floor! When you come to, you find yourself in the middle of a strange forest with one of the guards (who evidently broke your fall) lying quite dead beside you. Search his body and take the keycard from his uni- form. The other guard is lying dead in the remains of the hovercraft. A steady beep is coming from the wreck and you realize that it's intended to attract searching guards. Walk over to the wreck, look inside, and push the button. The homing device is now turned off. Exit the screen to the north. Now these woods are strange indeed! (Don't try climbing the trees or examining any tall mushrooms unless you save your game first!) At some point in your journey through this forest you will hear the sound of another hovercraft searching for you. You can always avoid this hovercraft by quickly exiting the screen that you are on; however, you won't get any points for it, and the hovercraft will return. The bet- ter way is to find a place in the dense foliage where your body is completely hidden. You will get no points whatever for using these moments of privacy in furtherance of self-abuse. Wait motionless for the hovercraft to appear and then leave after it does. This will earn you 5 points and the thugs will not return. Also at some point on this screen, you will hear the sound of a rope snapping and a high-pitched shriek. When this happens, exit the screen near the southeast corner. You will come upon a strange little crea- ture hanging upside down in a hunter's snare. Walk over to the little pink fellow and free him from the rope. Exit the screen to the west and then go up the hill and west. You are now on a plateau with a mailbox at the end of it. Put your Labion Terror Beast Mating Whistle order form in the mailbox's slot. Instantly, the whistle appears in the tray! (The plodfoots of the U.S.P.S. could learn something here.) Take the whistle and exit the plateau back around to the east and back south down the hill. Now exit the screen to the west. Did the spores knock you out? Well, no matter. Take one of the spores anyway. (They're those pretty little flowers on the ground.) You'll need it. Exit the screen to the north- west. What on Earth (or wherever you are) is this thing? Well, it's alive and it's very hungry as you will learn to your sorrow if you touch any part of it. But this vine creature is also a maze. If you look carefully, you can see that there is clear pathway through the creature leading to the bushes at the north of the screen. You may have also seen the little pink fellow that you freed from the rope gathering some of the berries from those bushes. Maybe those berries are important. Carefully work your way along the path through the vine creature. (HINT: Save your game as you complete each little section of the crea- ture/maze). Now take some of the berries from the bushes. Don't bother trying to eat them, the smell will deter you anyway. Work your way back through the vine creature/maze the way you came, again saving as you go. Exit the screen to the south. Go east and then go north up the hill and east. You now find yourself at the edge of a dismal swamp. And that little pink creature is here again. As you watch, he smears the berries over his body and disappears into the swamp. Take your cue from the little fellow and rub the berries over your uniform, too. Once that is done, enter the swamp and exit the screen to the east. Wow! It's a good thing those smelly berries made you unappetizing or you would have been lunch for that swamp creature (who is not shown but must look a good deal like the litigious Joan Rivers). Now that you're safely in the swamp, take some time to explore before leaving. If you walk around the north end of the screen, a little bit east of center, you'll come to deep water where you have to swim instead of walk. When you reach that point, take a deep breath (Important!) and dive under the surface. Under the surface, you'll see an underwater cave leaving the screen to the west. Follow the cave, and you'll find your- self surfacing in a strangely glowing cavern. A quick inspection reveals that the glow is coming from a gem sitting on an altar-like boulder in the cavern. Take the glowing gem.. Re-enter the water, take a deep breath again, and dive below the surface. Swim back to the surface of the swamp the way you came in. Then exit the swamp to the east. You're back in the clear again, but there's a deep chasm blocking your progress to the east, and there's no where else to go. Better climb that dead tree at the edge of the chasm to get a better view. WHOA! CRAAACK! That tree wasn't too steady, was it? But now its trunk is wedged tightly across the top of the chasm, forming a natural bridge. Crawl across the log and exit the screen to the east. Proceed through the forest to the east and...oops! Trapped again! This time you're hanging upside down, the blood is rushing to your head, and soon you black out. When you come to, you find yourself securely locked in a wooden cage. A big, ugly brute of a hunter is getting a fire ready for his dinner, and you can just guess what he plans on having for his main course! Better think of a way out of here. Wait a minute! Remember that knock- out spore you picked up? Here's the perfect place to use it, but you're going to have to get the hunter closer to the cage, so that you can reach the key when he falls. The best way to get that oaf's atten- tion is to yell at him. If he doesn't respond the first time you call, yell again. OK, that got his attention and here he comes. Wait until he's right next to the cage and throw the spore. Got him! Now get the key and unlock the cage. Open the door, leave the cage, and pick up the rope that's lying on the rock. Then exit the screen to the north. You find yourself at the edge of a plateau. You can see the shuttle platform, where you first came to this planet, off in the distance. But don't try walking that way yet! Moving any distance at all toward the north of the screen will take you right into the guns of Vohaul's thugs. Instead, immediately exit the screen to the west. Walk west through the forest until you again arrive at the chasm. Now the only way to go is down. Fortunately, you have the rope. You can tie the rope to either the stump or the log. Save the game, and try tying the rope to the stump. You'll get 2 points for it. Now climb down the rope and...well, I guess tying it the stump didn't work too well. Tie the rope to the log. Again, you'll get 2 points, but this time things are much more secure. Climb down the rope. Nice situation huh? You find yourself hanging over a bottomless chasm. On the ledge to the east is very large, very hungry looking monster who frankly reminded me of heavyweight champ Mike Tyson. On the ledge to the west is a cave leading into the cliff. On the whole, the ledge to the west looks more desirable. But how to get there? Climb down to the end of the rope, and swing on the rope. As you swing, the arc will become greater. To time your move, wait until the monster starts try- ing to grab you. Then, when the rope is at the far western edge of its arc, let go. Nicely done! You're safely on the western ledge. Enter the cave. The cave leads off into darkness, but there's no where else to go. So as you enter the darkness, hold the glowing gem. Ah, just enough light to see the pas- sage leading to the west. Follow the passage and...oops! Here we go again -- tumbling down into the darkness! When you reach the bottom, you find yourself back out in the daylight and on the floor of a rock-strewn canyon. And here are a couple of those little pink guys again, telling you to follow them! Before you do, however, take a moment to pick up the gem, which you dropped during your fall. Then exit the screen to the south. You've entered a cul-de-sac on the canyon floor, and as you're wondering where the exit is, the chief of the little pink creatures appears. He thanks you for the rescue of their friend. In return, he tells you to "just say the word" and his people will show you the way out. So type SAY THE WORD. When you do, two of the little creatures push aside a boulder, reveal- ing an entrance to an underground passage. Climb down. Now you're completely in the dark! How are you going to see where you're going if you have to use your hands to grip the ladder? What's more, you can also hear the bone-chilling cries of a terrible cave monster! Well, what are mouths for? To hold gems, of course. So hold the glowing gem in your mouth. Well, that's a little better, at least you can see where you're going. A little exploration would reveal that this underground complex is really a maze of vertical ladders intersected by horizontal tunnels. But who wants to explore when there's a hungry monster after you? So here's the quickest way out: Climb down to the first intersection. Crawl east to the next intersection. Climb down to the next intersec- tion. Crawl east to the next intersection. Climb down to the bottom of this ladder. Crawl east to the next intersection. Climb down to the next intersection. Crawl west to the next intersection. Climb down to the bottom of this ladder. Crawl west two intersections. Climb down two intersections. Finally, crawl east all the way out of the tunnel. You're now in a cavern through which a beautiful, sparkling stream flows and even though you've been on the run for quite some time now, it would be best if you abstained from voiding your bladder in the pristine waters. Enter the water and follow the stream off the screen to the east. Keep following the stream as it winds around, until you have to choose between branches that flow to the left and the right. Choose the branch to the right (the left one leads to certain death). You will find yourself being sucked into a whirlpool, and you emerge from the whirlpool considerably wrung out but none the worse for wear. At last you're back in the great outdoors. Go east and leave the pond. You can now see the bottom of the shuttle platform very close by, but impenetrable stone walls prevent you from getting to it. This is a situation that calls for some outside help. Remember your Labion Terror Beast Mating Whistle? Now's the time to blow it. Sure enough, here comes a Labion Terror Beast blasting a hole right through the wall! At this point, if you don't have the Cubix Rube puzzle, get back in the water and move off the screen before the beast reaches you and tears you apart. If you do have the puzzle, throw it to the beast. This will earn you 10 big points. While the beast is "puzzling" over the puzzle (or after you return from the water) head for the opening that has been blasted in the rock wall. Before exiting the screen, pause to take one of the small rocks in the pile of rubble at the opening made by the terror beast. Finally, exit the screen to the north. Now the shuttle platform, with its promise of escape, looms before you. But spoiling the scene is one of Vohaul's guards patrolling the lower level of the platform. Using the bushes as a screen, wait until the guard is out of view, and move to a hiding place behind the for- ward set of bushes. At this point, if you do not have the jockstrap, time the guard's movements so that you can move under the platform to the door on the right platform leg without the guard seeing you. You won't get any points for this, but it works. If you do have the jockstrap you can use it to throw the stone so as to distract the guard and then move to the door. This will net you 10 points. Better yet, you can remove the menace of the guard permanently by using the jockstrap to throw the stone AT the guard, hitting him in the head and killing him. In order to make sure of your shot, wait until the guard pauses at the center of his catwalk, then throw the stone at him with the jockstrap. This will net you 20 points. Imagine, using a jock as a sling to throw a stone; How Biblical! Once you have reached the platform door, insert your keycard and enter the elevator. When you arrive at the top of the platform, much to your surprise (and relief), you find an empty shuttle waiting for you. Don't bother looking for any space-puke; there isn't any... Walk around to the rear of the craft and enter the shuttle. Once seated in the cockpit, look around. You see an instrument panel before you and a throttle control between your legs (yes, it IS just a throttle con- trol). Look at the instrument panel. You see a power button, an atti- tude control dial, and an ascent thruster button. Press the power button and you see all the monitor screens light up. Turn the attitude dial. The game will inform you that the controls are now set at VAC (Vertical Attitude Control). Press the thruster button, then look at the monitor. It will inform you that thrusters are ready. If you have a joystick, pull back on it (or press the "down arrow" cursor key), and the ship will lift off. Hold the joystick back, until the game informs you that you are off the planet. When a computerized voice tells you that minimum altitude has been achieved, turn the attitude dial again. It will now be set at HAC (Horizontal Attitude Control). Push the joystick forward (or press the "up" cursor key), and the shuttle will begin moving forward. This won't last long, however, because suddenly all the monitor screens are filled with the image you least wanted to see -- the ugly face of Sludge Vohaul! He gleefully informs you that he has taken control of the shuttle and that you are now on an automatic journey to his asteroid fortress. Nothing for it now, but to hang on and enjoy (?) the ride! When you step out of the shuttle inside Vohaul's asteroid complex, you're surprised to find that there are no guards there to greet you. In fact, the complex seems completely deserted. But you know that Vohaul must be watching. Anyway, you still need to work your way out of this mess. Taking a look around, you see that the shuttle platform seems to be suspended in space, with catwalks leading away from it to the east and to the west. A stairway leads down to the south. Above you, another catwalk, which seems inaccessible, crosses the shuttle bay from west to east. Take the east catwalk, and exit the screen in that direction. You find yourself at an elevator. Enter the elevator. Look at the elevator. You see a read-out, currently reading Level One, and a panel. Look at the panel. The panel contains a row of buttons. Look at the buttons. The buttons read "one," "three," "four," and "five." Press "three." In a minute, you find yourself at the end of long cor- ridor stretching away to the west. A note of caution about these corridors. Periodically, you'll see an odd contraption moving along the corridor toward you. These are auto- matic floor waxers, and if they catch up with you, they'll ground you into a thin sheet and turn you into part of the floor. If you see one approaching, move immediately into a doorway or elevator opening and wait for it to turn around and go back in the opposite direction. Walk down the corridor. After crossing a couple of screens, you arrive at a door in the corridor wall, with a button beside it. Hey! You, of all people, would recognize a janitorial closet anywhere! Press the button and enter the closet. Looking around in the closet, you find a plunger. Take the plunger, exit the closet, then walk all the way to the far eastern end of the corridor. Enter the elevator you find there and press "four." When you arrive at level four, you find another corridor stretching away to the west. Walk down the corridor. Sure enough, you come to another janitorial closet. Enter the closet and take the glass cutter that you find in there. Continue west down the corridor. You soon arrive at restroom entrances, labeled with male and female signs. Take either entrance -- they both lead into the same restroom! In the rest- room, amid the rather alien plumbing, you see an empty stall at the back of the room. Enter the stall and close the door. Again, your onanistic tendencies should be held in abeyance. What you do in the stall is your own business (get it?), but be sure to take the toilet paper with you when you're done. Exit the restroom and walk to the far western end of the corridor. Enter the elevator and press "five." Exit the elevator on level five and walk east. Once again you come to a janitorial closet. Enter the closet and take the wastebasket that you find there. Pick up the pair of overalls that is hanging in the closet and an object falls from the pocket. A quick inspection reveals that the object is a lighter. Take the lighter and exit the closet. At this point, the safe play is to walk immediately west from the janitorial closet back to elevator you came from. If you wish to see what lies to the east, you won't get any points for it, but it is amusing. Be sure to save your game first. Those huge arms sticking out of that cage will bash you if you get too close, so be sure to stick to the south side of the corridor. Proceed east and...what's this? One of the cages is opening! And emerging from it is a nightmare creature that looks like it escaped from the movie, "Alien"! At this point, you have no choice but to hurry back to the west as fast as you can. Don't let the alien monster catch you and kiss you! If you do, later in the game you'll wind up just like John Hurt in "Alien" (talk about a sto- mach ache!). Head straight for the elevator and press "one." Back on level one, return to the shuttle platform, and proceed down the stairs to the south. As you pass through the doorway at the bottom of the stairs, the door seals shut behind you! Move to the west and a barrier pops up barring your way! Try moving east and another barrier pops up trapping you! As if that weren't bad enough, now the floor is moving out from under you, threatening to dump you in a pool of corro- sive acid! Don't panic! Wait until the floor is almost out from under you, then stick the plunger to the barrier. Unlike real life, you needn't lick the plunger first. That's the way to hang in there! Wait until the floor slides back into place, then let go of the plunger. The barriers slide back into the floor leaving you free to move. But before you can very far in either direction, you run up against a very formidable obstacle: wallbots! These electronic monsters are instant death if you let them touch you, but there is a way to defeat them. First, when one of the wallbots starts to come after you, retreat to the center of the corridor and exit the screen up the stairs. When you go back down the stairs, the wallbot will have returned to its resting place. Now examine the ceiling of the cor- ridor. The only thing of note up there are fire sprinklers. But water and electronics don't mix! And you have the means in hand to get those sprinklers working. Put the toilet paper in the wastebasket, and then drop the waste- basket. Light the toilet paper with the lighter, and in a few seconds the sprinklers will start flowing. Snap! Crackle! Pop! You've shorted out the wallbots! Now proceed down the corridor and exit the screen all the way to the east. Suddenly, here you are in Vohaul's command post! The evil one himself is sitting on his raised platform in the center of the room sneering at you. Surrounding the room are the tubes containing the dreaded insurance salesmen, but right now all your attention is on Vohaul and getting your hands around his fat neck. You start up the stairs to his platform, but just before you can reach him, you're zapped by a strange energy beam. (Don't panic, this is not the end of the game!) When you rematerialize, you find that you've been reduced to the size of a mouse and that you're trapped in a glass jar on Vohaul's control console! Vohaul gloats over your predicament, then proceeds to ignore you as he launches the insurance salesmen! Now's your chance. While Vohaul is ignoring you, cut the glass with the glass cutter. Walk over to the vents in the console immediately to the west of the jar and climb in the vent. Bingo! You've found Vohaul's life support equipment! If you look carefully behind that large pump, you'll see a large, red button. Press that button. You did it! You've shut off Vohaul's life support! He's a goner! Now climb out the vent. In his death throes, Vohaul utters a final curse at you and flips a switch. That action started the asteroid's self-destruct sequence, so now time is of the essence. Exit the screen along the narrow path in the southwest corner. You find yourself at a control console with a switch on the back and keyboard. Walk over to the switch and pull it to the on position. The read-out is now asking you "Enlarge or Reduce?" Of course, you want to get larger, so type "enlarge." Now return to the glass jar immediately. In a few seconds, you're back to normal size, standing beside the dead carcass of Vohaul, which is sprawled across the floor. A flashing monitor draws your attention. A look at the monitor reveals that the clone launch can be aborted if you enter the abort code. But what is the code? Search Vohaul's body. Aha! There it is: "SHSR." Return to the monitor and enter the code. That takes care of the insu- rance salesmen, but you still have to get out of here alive. Exit the screen up the stairs to the east. Now you're in a long tube on the exterior of the asteroid. Near the entrance to the tube is a panel. A look at the panel shows that it contains an oxygen mask. Take the mask (you will automatically be wearing it). Follow the tube where it leads you, around to the east and then to the south. Good thing you were wearing that oxygen mask when the tube cracked! Exit the tube to the south. Drat! Here you are in another of those featureless corridors, and you've got to get off this asteroid before it burns up. The way out is to the west. Walk west about three screens and there it is: The escape pod bay! Unfortunately, blocking the way is the nattiest looking robot you've ever seen, and it has the name "Marrow-matic" written on it. You can just guess what that means! And now the "MM" has sensed the presence of your marrow and is coming to get it! Not to worry, you're brighter than a robot (barely!). Before reaching the Marrow-matic's 'post', be sure you have pressed Enter/Return (to clear the command buffer), and then make sure the command, PRESS BUTTON has been typed in (but NOT entered). When the MM starts to come after you, head back east, and when you reach the tun- nel door (where you entered), hit the Enter/Return key to open the door, then duck through the door. The Marrow-matic won't follow you. when the door closes behind you, you may assume the coast is clear. Go back through the door and head west to the screen, where you first encountered the Marrow-matic. And thanks to your artful dodging the MM is now behind you. The next sequence must be done quickly or else the Marrow-matic will catch you! Proceed to the first pod, and press the button next to the hatch. When the hatch opens, enter the pod. Once inside the pod, you are home free! Take a quick look around. You see a control panel. A quick look at the control panel, reveals a launch button. Press the launch button. Congratulations! You've saved your planet and escaped the asteroid! Just as you're contemplating how sweet it is to be a hero again, a rude beeping from the control panel informs you that the pod is run- ning out of oxygen! You try the oxygen mask, but it's empty. Hastily looking around the pod, you see a sleep chamber against the right-hand wall. Oh well, the deep freeze is better than asphyxiation! Walk over to the sleep chamber and open it. Enter the sleep chamber and settle down to a nice, long nap until.... We'll just have to wait for SPACE QUEST III to find out!